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#i have a lot of really tiny family members so i think it would be cute to see him play with them!
gffa · 4 months
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It has been about eight months since I came back to BATFAMILY fic and this will be my ninth set of recs, which means I'm at about 500 or so for this one fandom, which is kind of blowing my mind a little, but also tracks pretty well, given how amazing the fic in the fandom can be. There's just so much that's scratching the itch of softer Batfam content or really digging into the angsty possibilities or exploring the characters in ways the source material won't/can't or just finding a dozen different ways to hit my id straight on and make it such a fun, exciting experience to be swimming through all this amazing fic. And, in that vein, yeah I may have a Dick Grayson Is The Most Important Guy In The World Problem, but I also have Dick Grayson Is The Most Important Guy In The World Solutions which is basically a metric truckload of fic by incredible authors and trying to lure more people into crying about these characters with me because I AM CRYING A LOT ABOUT THEM because fandom has PROVIDED ME WITH THE TOOLS TO DRAG YOU IN AND I AM GOING TO USE THEM. And, okay, I've got some good Jason, Tim, Damian, Babs, Steph, and Bruce stuff in there, too. Fandom is great at helping me get some really great variety in, too! Basically ALL THE BATS ARE MY LOVES AND I WANT TO DRAG OTHERS IN WITH ME.
BATFAM FIC RECS - BABY DICK IS THE CUTEST FERAL ROBIN I'M NOT HEARING ANY ARGUMENTS: ✦ Robin is Looking for a Sidekick by Writer_loves_tropes, dick & bruce, 4k     Eight year old Dick Grayson is already a crime fighting Robin and he needs a sidekick. Batman seems like he would be a good choice. Robin and Batman has a nice ring to it. Bruce has thoughts about that. aka, How could Bruce resist adopting this tiny child? ✦ The Pancake Predicament by Lightsider, dick & bruce & alfred, 2.1k     On his second Father's Day at Wayne Manor, Dick decides to make pancakes. -or- The reason Dick's not allowed unsupervised kitchen use, which isn't fair. The pancakes were delicious, and he was 10! ✦ Counting Elephants by PrincessMariana, bruce & dick & alfred, 3k     When kidnappers break into the manor, Dick runs straight to Alfred. Alfred will do anything to protect his family. Or, Dick gets scared, and Alfred is a badass. ✦ World's Finest: Christmas Morning by WingFeathers, dick & bruce/clark & ma kent & alfred & cast, 9k     Twelve hours of a Christmas morning in Gotham: Bruce foregoes sleep and grapples with change, Clark navigates Christmas at Wayne Manor and his boyfriend's emotional distance, and Dick gets the best presents. Also: Ma and Pa Kent and Alfred are the greatest. ✦ There is a Monster at the End of This Book by Trekkele, dick & bruce & cast, vampires, 2.6k     There was something deeply wrong with Bruce Wayne. This wasn’t exactly news, of course. Opening any one of the local Gotham tabloids would give you plenty of evidence to back his claims up, but Tyler liked to think his profession gave him an edge, an added insight into the strangeness that was Gotham’s ‘beloved billionaire’. ✦ Safe by Jinmukang, dick & bruce, 2.5k     Or, a baby Robin wakes up very lost and very alone in the middle of Gotham. ✦ Stars, Hide Your Fires by FidotheFinch, dick & bruce, 10.8k     Dick Grayson doesn't want to leave the circus he's called home his entire life. When he overhears Pop Haly talking to a strange man about sending Dick away for 'training,' he decides he'll do whatever he can to stop it. Even if he has to make a deal with a demon. ✦ It's who I am by Tiredteengaer, dick & bruce & wally & artemis & conner & kaldur & m'gann & cast, 44k     how each member of the team found out Robin's real identity. ✦ Drowning, Headaches, and being beaten by Penguin by PandasandDucks1, dick & bruce & wally & artemis, 1.7k     He couldn’t breathe. ✦ The Eldest Wayne's by Remarcely, dick & bruce & alfred & cast, 3k     ‘With all their talks about how to behave, Bruce had the upmost faith in Dick to talk to the other Gala-attenders with respect under his supervision. When Dick grew bored and wandered off, entirely unnoticed by a Bruce deep in conversation, he’d be lying if he pretended that faith didn’t waver’ Or Bruce and Dick throughout the years as they slowly learn how to be a family.
BATFAM FIC RECS - ADULT BATSON AND BATDAD ARE MY KRYPTONITE, I FOLD LIKE WET CARDBOARD FOR THEM: ✦ Rebalancing by SirenAlpha, dick & bruce & damian, 2.5k     Bruce was back from his trip through time. Dick expected to heal up from surgery, head back to Blüdhaven, and be Nightwing again. He did not expect Bruce to have a discussion on the nature of Batman, Nightwing, and if Robin really only needed one of them. ✦ Capitulate by Antiquity, dick & bruce, 5k     After Wally's death, Bruce tries to hold Dick together before he shakes himself apart. ✦ No Good Deed by I_Have_To_Get_Off_This_Planet, dick & bruce, 1.2k     While trying to stop a robber, Dick breaks two ribs. It's not a good time. ✦ Superficial Wounds by fleetfoot1, dick & bruce, ~1k     Bruce swore softly as he tilted Dick’s face to the side, his gaze flicking down the bruises covering his cheekbone. Dick swallowed, before opening his mouth. “I--” his voice cracked on the syllable. God, he was just so tired of arguing. ✦ fabric (frayed but holding) by Tevya, dick & bruce & cast, 5.1k     A few months after Dick returns to speaking terms with Bruce, he gets stuck in Gotham with the flu. ✦ aristocracy by brandywine421, dick & bruce & jason & tim & damian & cass & steph & alfred, 2.4k     "I really wish it was for a different reason. I - need a favor." "There are no favors between us, Dick, you know that," Bruce said, moving around the desk to take the seat beside him. "Tell me." "God, it's so stupid, I - could handle it myself, but - I don't want to. I just want - I just want to forget it ever happened," Dick said. That didn't sound like Dick. "Tell me," he repeated. ✦ Memories Fade by Lady_of_Lorule, dick & bruce & cast, 2.2k     “Miss Gordon sent in her daily report and Master Tim called to inform you that he will be in San Francisco for a few days. Also, Master Dick is upstairs.” Bruce froze. “Dick is here?” “Yes, sir.” “I thought he was in Central City visiting Wally West.” Alfred raised an eyebrow, pale eyes piercing. “It seems that he is back, then. I believe he is waiting for you.” ✦ On-Call by motleyfam, dick & bruce & jason & oc & cast, 1.6k     Kiran Devabhaktuni, medical doctor and close family friend of the Waynes, agreed to join them for one more Thanksgiving at the Kent Farm. It's a good thing he did, too. ✦ a day before midnight by batofgoodintent (crownedcrusader), dick & bruce, 2.1k     After you lose pieces of yourself, they don't always fit back the same. - Post-Ric Grayson.
BATFAM FIC RECS - EVERYBODY LOVES DICK: ✦ the more i look inside (the more you're real to me) by starsonthewalls, dick & bruce & john/mary & tim, 2.8k     Dick tensed defensively. “It’s not like I can do anything about that, Dad,” he grumbled, accepting the glass to clear his throat. “You know how B is about patrols.” “And who is ‘B’ supposed to be?” his mom asked. “One of your video game friends?” Dick froze- what did mom mean, who is B? ✦ You Won't Wake Up Alone by DawnsEternalLight, dick & bruce & jason & tim & damian, 5.2k     Dick's captured and drugged and probably about to die. The last thing he wants to do is die in front of his family, especially not his baby brothers, all he wants is to be with Bruce and feel safe again. ✦ Jason's Gift by Neoinean, dick & bruce & jason & tim & barbara & cast, 17.3k     As Dick’s birthday goes from mediocre to bad to worse, he finds himself so wrapped up in the chain of events that he fails to correctly piece together the clues. Will he discover the truth before its too late? ✦ they don't know me and you by konan_konan, dick & bruce & jason & tim & barbara & zatanna & cast, de-aged!dick, 4.5k     "The cold helps neutralize him," says Bruce, talking about Dick like he's a threat. "It'll keep him from hurting himself," says Barbara, talking about Dick like he's a child. They're both correct right now, and Jason hates it. ✦ If You Don't Know by TylerM, dick & bruce & jason, 10.2k     An exploration of Sick!Dick Grayson from little and big Jason's point of view. Because I honestly don't believe in there ever being too many of the same damn fic.
BATFAM FIC RECS - JASON TODD IS AN ASSHOLE CAT, I'M GONNA THROW HIM AT THE OTHER BATS BECAUSE IT'S FUNNY: ✦ bury me softly by Nokomis, jason & steph, 4k     After a tunnel collapse, Stephanie and Jason bond while trapped together.
BATFAM FIC RECS - DICK AND DAMIAN WERE THE BEST BATMAN & ROBIN, I'M NOT HEARING ARGUMENTS ABOUT THAT EITHER: ✦ ties bind none by eryndew, dick & damian & bruce, 2k     Bruce discovers a son. Repercussions and choices follow. ✦ restless heart by emavee, dick & damian, 2.3k     It’s ridiculous to act like this one weekend really means anything in the grand scheme of things, but he can’t help it. It isn’t fair. He only gets these few days, and now Grayson is up in space fighting aliens or whatever and Damian is alone on the couch watching Jeopardy by himself. Or: Dick goes off world and Damian misses him ✦ Need To Know Basis by WordsAblaze, dick & damian, 1.1k     day sixteen, where damian has zero tolerance for dick hiding injuries from him… ✦ a killer time by konan_konan, dick & damian & alfred & bruce, 4.1k     The vent cover clatters to the floor, and Dick flings the knife at Croc, trusting that he's going to be a more of a threat than his goons. Croc roars in pain, or maybe just rage, and Dick scrambles toward the vent, Damian already inside, and - And Killer Croc grabs him by the ankle, slams him into the wood. He feels something break, and he gasps, hardly able to catch his breath. Some sort of metallic clang echoes from behind, and he thinks if Damian comes out of the vent and gets us both killed… ✦ as love carries its strength, but not its labels by AlterHarpia, dick & damian, 2.7k     Bruce is on a trip beyond Earth’s Solar System for longer than he intended, making Dick and Damian fall into an old pattern. “I'm not Batman.” A mere reminder, perhaps, but when said to Damian it always sounds like an apology.
BATFAM FIC RECS - BATKIDS ALL HAVE MANY SIBLINGS AND THEY'RE ALL PETTY ASSHOLES AND/OR WONDERFUL BABIES AND I LOVE THEM WITH MY WHOLE BEING: ✦ a study by bernard dowd by cv_angels, tim/bernard & conner & cassie & bart, 4.8k     Bernard opens the laptop, spinning it to face Tim with a flourish. It’s a powerpoint with a truly hideous red background, and Tim feels a moment of relief that Bernard isn’t breaking up with him before he registers the words on the slide. REASONS WHY TIMOTHY DRAKE-WAYNE IS A SUPERHERO, A STUDY BY BERNARD DOWD. ✦ princess carry by CreamofTomatoSoup, tim/bernard & duke & tam & damian, 3.1k     Tim almost gets shot during a public speech, which is a pretty average Tuesday. Being rescued by his civilian boyfriend, however, is not. ✦ beep beep!! by CreamofTomatoSoup, tim/bernard & bruce & dick & jason & tim & cass & duke, 6.1k     Bernard learned to drive from his henchman uncle. The last place he expects to use this skill is at a dinner with his boyfriend's family. ✦ little menace by InkpotSprite, bruce & dick & jason & tim & damian & alfred, de-aged!tim, 16.2k wip     "Did a two year old just outrun you?" Jason asked, wanting to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. Bruce clenched his jaw. "I didn't want to hurt him." He growled. "Liar!" Tim piped up from under the desk. Jason was starting to like this version of his successor. ✦ It Wasn't Supposed to Be Like This: I wouldn't Change a Thing by Grayson1996, bruce & dick & steph, 4.1k     She smiled tightly at him and stiffly beckoned him forward. If Bruce had to guess they weren’t close in the future, or perhaps she just didn’t know him. Regardless he stepped forward, though he didn’t turn to look at the figure on the bed just yet. For a moment the two simply stared at one another before Stephanie rolled her eyes at him. “Here’s where you apologize for pushing me against the wall.” Bruce felt guilt stir at the words despite the fact that she was clearly joking. ✦ in the lungs by hellsreluctantheir, tim & steph & cast, 2.8k     It went bad the way things always went bad. All at once. Steph had taken out two thugs (and maybe picked up a sprained wrist though she wasn’t counting her chickens before they hatched) and Tim was almost finished up with his third, when she saw him get launched backwards, head hitting the railing at the side with a resounding clang. She saw him slump to the deck, saw him struggle weakly as the thug pulled him up by his cape and looked at him for a moment, before tossing him directly into the Gotham River.
BATFAM FIC RECS - I SAY THIS IS A BATFAM REC LIST BUT SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA SHOVE THOSE ASSHOLES OUT OF THE WAY AND READ SOME SUPERFIC: ✦ Troublemakers by Kannika, clark & lois & conner, ~1k     Introducing Conner and Lois is the worst mistake Clark has made in a long time. Because they're getting along. ✦ oh brother by corvidspectre, conner & lois & jon, 1.2k     “So what are you being for Halloween?” Kon had asked when he got to the Kent's place. “Superboy!” Jon smiled, making Lois chuckle under her breath. ✦ Gut Feeling by Ao3time, lois & conner, 18.7k wip     Lois Lane rescues a teenager who looks a lot like someone she knows...
BATFAM FIC RECS - TAKE THE ANGST DIAL, TURN IT UP TO ELEVEN, AND BREAK THE KNOB OFF, THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR: ✦ my threads are coming loose by dizarys, dick & talia & cast, ~1k     “Oh good, I see both you and Bruce are on the same page about unrealistic expectations for grieving,” muttered Dick. Talia sucked her teeth and turned back to the grave, long hair swinging. The sound was so much like Damian’s iconic tut that fresh tears welled in Dick’s eyes. ✦ Fatherhood; a Knife that Never Stops Cutting by minnow_doodle_doo, bruce & dick & alfred, no powers au, 2.1k     There always seemed to be a thread that tied all their histories, from Alfred to Bruce back to Dick. Repeated over and over. And now it seemed that Dick found that the thread had been longer than he first thought. ✦ Tap Out by withthekeyisking, bruce & dick & jason & tim & damian, read the tags, 4.8k     Dick knows the importance of tapping out in training, so your partner doesn't accidentally hurt you. It becomes instinct, so heavily ingrained in him. He doesn't understand why his brothers don't do it, too. (Until they do, and it's too late.) ✦ A Death in the Family by PrincessMariana, bruce & dick & jason, yandere!bruce (?), read the tags, 12.4k     The Joker has killed Jason Todd. Bruce tells Dick immediately, and Dick returns to the manor. Bruce will do anything to keep his remaining son safe and close. Dick thinks it's the grief that's keeping him exhausted. ✦ Car Crashes and Hot Chocolate by PrincessMariana, bruce & dick, yandere!bruce (?), read the tags, 2.3k     Dick almost dies trying to escape Bruce. Neither of them are happy about the outcome, and so they talk about it. This is a follow-up oneshot for A Death in the Family and is set before Into the Gilded Cage. This can technically be read alone, though it does have spoilers for A Death in the Family. ✦ Into the Gilded Cage by PrincessMariana , bruce & dick & tim, yandere!bruce (?), read the tags, 17.5k     Tim investigates if Dick Grayson is being held against his will by Bruce Wayne. He somehow ends up spending the summer with the two at Wayne Manor. It might be a prison for Dick, but the more Tim stays, the less he wants to leave. This follows A Death in the Family, but you don't need to read that to read this. It might be useful, though. ✦ The Third Robin's Flight by PrincessMariana, bruce & dick & tim, yandere!bruce (?), read the tags, 13.7k wip     Tim accepts his place as Bruce' third - and most loyal - son. When his mother dies and his father returns to Gotham, Tim once again must pick a side, but Bruce never lets go of his children easily. Meanwhile, Dick struggles with the ramifications of finding the Joker, and Bruce remembers why Batman needs a Robin. This follows Into the Gilded Cage. ✦ Family Crisis by librarylexicon, bruce & dick & tim & cass & steph & leslie & barbara & selina & amy & cast, read the tags, 78.1k wip     At the close of the gang war, Batman uncovers an attempted deception concerning the life of his former protégé Stephanie Brown, and suddenly nothing is as important as his family. While Dick seeks absolution, Tim struggles with grief, Cassandra searches for belonging and Steph rebuilds her sense of self, Bruce faces the return of ghosts from his own past and psyche. (War Games AU) ✦ New Again by dustorange, dick & bruce & thomas wayne jr., 10.1k wip     “I’m not a good man,” says Thomas. “No," Dick hesitates, then comes closer, "but you're not an old man either." (a.k.a. Earth 3's Thomas Wayne Jr. "helps" Batman and Robin get back to their world, only for Bruce alone to be sent back, leaving Dick stranded in Earth 3—with Thomas.) ✦ not anything, anymore by emavee, dick & bruce, 2k     Bruce kicked him out four months ago. Apparently these particular kidnappers didn't get the memo.
✦ dreamer by day by justbeyondstars, dick & bruce & jason & tim, 5.3k     In the next room over, Jason and Tim are laughing, and it startles Dick back into his body to remember he’s not alone. He feels impossibly empty, unmovable, untouchable. He almost forgets he's still on the phone until a voice says, “Is there anything I can do for you, Dick? Anything you need to make this easier?” Or: Dick is a lot of things to a lot of people. After getting some bad news, he has to grapple with the fact it might not always be enough. ✦ watching the world go dark by daringyounggrayson, dick & bruce, 3.5k     It wasn’t that Dick was suicidal exactly, but if an opportunity came about where he would have to actively save himself from death, he might just let go. He might not be suicidal, but he's not self-preserving either, and it’s becoming a real problem. Luckily, Bruce is a worried parent with a few detective skills. ✦ hold me like water (or hold me like a knife) by dizarys, bruce & dick & tim, 2k     Dick's recovery after a amnesiac year as Ric Grayson is taking longer than expected. And has some difficult side effects.
BATFAM FIC RECS - SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED TO TAKE ALL THE SERIOUSNESS OUT OF THE ROOM AND STAY SOFT FOR AWHILE: ✦ And There Was Only One Bed: Family Edition by RandomReader13, bruce & dick & jason & tim & damian & cass, 1.7k     “You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Dick stood on his toes to peek over Jason’s shoulder into the hotel room and grimaced. “Uh, Bruce…” “There was a mix-up with the reservation,” Bruce grunted. ✦ so everyone's just a fucking scalie huh by destiny919, bruce & dick & jason & tim & damian & cass, 1.1k     "Birds are animals, Jay." "What the fuck? No. Aren't they basically reptiles?" Jason demands. "First of all, no, you're thinking of dinosaurs, which is what they actually are in the Flintstones. Second of all, reptiles are animals." "Bullshit." "Okay, I..." Tim pinches his nose. "Okay. I think I see the problem here." "Yes, Todd sustained a traumatic brain injury the other night and didn't see fit to inform anyone before we left on this inane trip." ✦ The Batmobile (and other Bat things) by JeanjacketCarf, bruce & dick & clark & justice league, 2k     “Batmobile?!” Barry looked incredulous. It was clear he was missing the point of the story. “He called it the Batmobile? Out loud? In front of you?” Clark shrugged. “Yeah, twice. I’m sure I heard it right.” “Batmobile, my god,” Barry said shaking his head. “I can’t believe it.” Or Apparently, the Bat-Man is not a cryptid, he's a guy who gives his stuff silly names ✦ Vampire Bats by Sohotthateveryonedied, bruce & dick & jason & tim & damian & cass & steph & duke & cast, 4.1k     Despite the many, many obstacles, having his kids turn into vampires isn’t as tragic as Bruce anticipated it would be. Whenever one of them is grounded, all Bruce has to do is hang a cross on their door and they’re sufficiently contained. And the energy boost has been incredibly helpful on patrols. ✦ Adventures in Batsitting by raven_of_hydecastle, bruce & dick & clark & lois & justice league, 10k wip     "What, you're telling me the great Batman couldn't stop a nine-year-old from sneaking out?" Green Lantern scoffed. "At least come up with a believable excuse." It was Batman's turn to scoff. "Like anyone else could do better. If you can keep Robin off the streets for a week, I'll buy you a Porsche." *** AKA The JLA stages an intervention with Batman to get Robin off the streets. it goes downhill from there.
BATFAM FIC RECS - THROW BABY DICK AT BATTISON, C'MON DO IT, IT'LL BE HILARIOUS: ✦ though the sun and sky may fade (all shall be remade) by queenofthestarrrs, dick & bruce & alfred, 1.8k     Dick Grayson asks a lot of questions. ✦ My Little Robin by tyrianzzz, jim & dick & bruce, 1.6k     After being Partners with the Bat for so long Gordon tries not to question his life choices. Until Robin comes along. ✦ I Wish My Father Had More Sons by shipNslash, bruce & dick & jason & alfred, 9.4k     Jason Todd and Dick Grayson, from strangers to brothers to enemies and back again.
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atimeofyourlife · 5 months
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Cats know best
written for @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt: meet cute at work | rated: g | wc: 930 | cw: mention of animal injury and amputation | tags: pre steddie Steve is a vet tech, Eddie brings in his injured cat, who instantly falls in love with Steve.
Steve had always loved his job as a vet tech. Sure, there were the hard times when there was nothing else to be done to help an animal. But it always felt so rewarding when he knew he had made a difference in an animals life, and in the families lives. And everyday was so different, it always kept him on his toes.
He could hear the cat yowling long before he'd even walked into the room. He'd been asked to take this cat, Sabbath, for x-rays on a suspected broken leg, and the vet had warned him that the cat had hissed and swiped at her repeatedly during her examination. He entered the examination room, and on the table was a tiny, but incredibly fluffy black cat.
"This is Steve, one of our vet techs, he's just going to take Sabbath along to get those x-rays done." The vet said to Sabbath's owner.
"Hi," Steve nodded to the man, before slowly approaching the cat, with his hand outstretched for her to sniff and get used to him before he took her away. "Hi, Sabbath. Are you going to let me take you for the x-rays?"
Sabbath sniffed Steve's fingers, then, surprising everyone, rubbed against them, a loud purr filling the room. Steve scratched her ears a little. "Aren't you just the sweetest thing?"
"She never lets most people touch her. She just screams and hisses at them. And I think she's only purred for me once." Her owner, a man with long dark hair, said, sounding surprised.
"Some cats are like that. They only like very few people." The vet replied as Steve loaded Sabbath into a carrier and left the room.
Taking the x-rays was much easier than with most cats. Sabbath didn't wriggle or squirm on the table, staying exactly in the position Steve put her in, and purring every time Steve moved her. While he worked, he thought about what the owner had said. If she was really that bad with most people, he knew he would end up doing a lot of her care, but he didn't mind because she was so cute. After he was done, he popped her back in the carrier, and headed back to the room so the vet could decide the right treatment.
Sabbath's leg was broken, and pretty badly at that. So, it was agreed that amputation was the best route to take, and would be performed first thing the following morning. And, it didn't take long for her to prove that her owner's words were true. In just a few minutes, Steve saw her hiss and swipe at five other members of staff, managing to scratch one. He tried to stay close, so he could comfort or distract her as others continued to work.
"I think she needs a note on her kennel to leave all her care for you." Another tech said as Steve moved Sabbath into a kennel after administering the prescribed pain meds.
"I guess she's chosen me." Steve replied as he placed her in the bed and rubbed her ears, getting a soft purr in return.
Over the several days Sabbath had to stay in for observations, Steve ended up being pretty much her sole carer, as she would hiss at anyone else that got near her kennel. At day two after her amputation, she was making little hops so she could rub her head against Steve's face any time he opened the door. At day four, she was trying to climb onto his shoulder. Purring and chirping at him the entire time while he was trying to feed her, or clean the litter box, or administer the next dose of medication.
"I'm gonna miss you when you're gone." He said as he lifted her out of the kennel, her snuggling into his arms instantly. He was at the end of his shift, and she was scheduled to go home the next afternoon. He never normally got so attached to patients, but he had absolutely fallen in love with Sabbath. If she didn't have an owner, he would have looked into adopting her. He stroked her back and kissed her head before putting her back in her bed.
The day had come for Sabbath to go home. The vet had already gone into the consultation room, giving the owner the instructions for the care. Steve had the task of taking her through. He tried to put her in a carrier, but she struggled to stay in his arms, so he gave up and held her close, carrying the carrier with his free hand. He went to place her on the table, but she dragged herself up to his shoulder and purred in his ear.
"Uh, as you can see, she has really taken to Steve." The vet said.
"She's got good taste." The owner replied. "I- uh."
"I. It's fine." Steve said, moving closer to him, crouching down to try and get the cat off his shoulder. "Come on, don't you want to see your dad?"
Sabbath finally hopped down into her owners lap, but when Steve tried to move away, she stuck her claws into his scrub pants, holding on so he couldn't move.
"I think she's trying to tell us something. I'm Eddie." The owner- Eddie- said, trying to unhook Sabbath's paw.
"Steve. And I would definitely agree with that."
By the time Sabbath had to come back in for a check up and to have her stitches removed, Steve had become much more acquainted with her. And with her handsome owner.
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scribblesofagoonerr · 3 months
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Family, not by blood but by choice instead | awfc x teen!reader
I previously posted on another account, however, I didn't realise a second blog wouldn't allow me to follow people, so I am reposting again on my new one.
Let me know what you all think!
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You should have known, there was tell-tail signs all throughout the last several years and yet you were so blind about it all.
Your mother was a narcissist, she was manipulative and gaslighted you your whole life, you were always made out to the bad guy and she was the victim.
It was clear as day to anyone on the outside, but your nieve self just chose to always believe different about things.
Looking back on the several years of your childhood, you had always thought you upbringing wasn't completely terrible. It was just the 2 of you, only your mum and you ever since you could remember. Your parents ended up splitting up when you were really little but ever since that day, you had always been made out to be the reason for their seperation.
You had always wonderd how it could be your fault. You was only 3 when he walked out, so how could it really be like that?
"You were always too much to handle. He couldn't cope," Your mum would say, all of them long nights when you would wrap your tiny arms around her and sob your little heart out to her.
"I'm here, you've got me. You've only ever got me," Her words were embedded in your head from the day that you'd decided to try and have an open conversation about the possibility of finding your dad. "Why go and find him? Haven't I been good enough. I'm the one that's looked after you all of these years and this is the thanks that I get in return?" It was always something that like, always a guiltrip and it was something that she knew would work well.
The harsh statement of the most recent conversation with the older woman left a bitter taste in your mouth and make you question every single thing in life.
"Aren't you happy for me? I made it, mum!" You exclaimed, you were happy enough to want to share the news with your mum but you found so dumbfound by her response which left you feeling shame and judgement for even wanting to tell her.
"Yes you have made it Y/N but you know, you only have me to thank for that now, don't you?" Your mum once again found a way to make it about herself, regardless of the situation;  It was always and only ever about her. "I'm sure that you can find some way to thank me though. All of those years and the amount I have spent on football boots for you. You'd be nowhere if it wasn't for me and I think you owe me now, don't you?" she told you.
You remember feeling stunned by her words, there was a lot of emotions that you had felt building up inside as you were ultimately confused how she'd somehow managed to twist this to make it all about herself but of course she was quick enough to make an excuse to end the call when she grew bored of talking to you.
You should have knew better, every phone call always ended up being the same way and it always left you with a feeling of guilt for making a life for yourself and that phone call that night wasn't any different. You had just been so excited to spill the news, however that excitment soon faded and was replaced by confused feelings of upset and anger once you'd told her, you fought to hold in your tears during the initial phone call but you were on the verge of breaking by the time she had hung up.
That phone call was the one you told her about making it into the national team, you had only been a part of Arsenal womens' first team for under a year and it felt like a massive achievement to be selected to represent your country and immediately you couldn't wait to share the news with your mum - You thought that she'd be pleased for you but you couldn't be further away from the truth.
Ever since that phone call, you had tried your hardest to distance yourself from your mum but it hurt to do that. The women was the only blood related family member that you had, it had only ever been the 2 of you, together through thick and thin.
Flash forward to now, the current time where you are sitting on the sofa, you had returned home after a long training session and you couldn't help but think about it that conversation on a constant loop in your head. 
"You were quiet tonight kidda," Leah perched on the arm of sofa as looked at you in concern. "I'm about to start cookin' tea. How's chicken dippers and smiley faces sound, eh?" she suggested.
"Mhm. Sure that sounds good to me," You mumbled as you kept your eyes focused on nothing but the telly.
The truth was that the conversation was constantly replaying in your head; The conversation, the bitterness and manipulation, every time you thought about it it then made you think of every other time that something like this happened.
Maybe your childhood wasn't as great as you really thought?
"Okay then... Is there anything that you want to talk about?" The blonde questioned, hoping for a bit more of an insight on your mood; Returning from her own rehab session, the entire car ride had been quiet compared to normal and the older woman couldn't help but feel something wasn't right.
"Nope," You stood firm in your reply, shaking your head as you kept your eyes glued on the TV screen; You couldn't really say that you payed much attention to whatever it was, the noise was pretty much a blur that was playing in the background.
"Are you sure?" Leah questioned, frowning worriedly as she took note of the tears welling up in your eyes. "Kidda, what's the matter? You look like you're gonna cry." she stated.
"I... I'm fine," You mumbled, fighting hard to keep the tears at bay until you could escape to your bedroom and allow yourself to be vulnerable and alone. You'd always felt complete shame to show any sort of vunterability in front of anyone, let alone the blonde footballer who'd virtually taken you under her wing ever since you joined during the transfer break of 2022.
You'd always been told that crying showed weakness and you refused to be seen as weak.
"Okay," Leah was quick to drop the subject when she realised you weren't going to open and talk about things. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it but just remember that I'm always here to listen. Anytime that you want too, alright?" she told you.
Unfortunately you were stubborn to not give in and blurt everything out in the open. You were just trying to wrap your head around the idea of things and see things for how they really were.
"Uh huh," You mumbled a response as you got up from the sofa and trudged in the direction of your bedroom.
Leah exhaled a sigh as she shook her head, herself heading into the kitchen to make a start on dinner. The woman knew better than to try and get you to talk if you didn't want too.
She'd always been around to witness the moments like this and the backlash of it. Of course the blonde knew this was all stemmed down to one person causing you to be like this and she hated that you were left upset every single time.
Every single time you and your mum fought, you'd always ended up quiet and in a bad mood, often resulting in lashing out at people around you as a coping mechanism.
None of the girls ever took it to heart, they were old enough to realise that none of your anger was directly aimed at them and there was bigger issues to be dealt with.
The Arsenal women all had their own opinions on the teens' mother but they would never voice them out loud to you. It wouldn't be fair on the youngest in the squad even after the countless times they had seen the girl upset by her own mums actions.
Ever since the teen had moved in, there had been several nights where Leah would be the one to comfort the girl and pick up the peices, waking up in the middle of the night to hear the teen's heartbroken sobs and feeling her own heart shatter every single time, wanting nothing more than take away any sort of pain the girl was experiencing.
It was heartbreaking for all of the team to witness and always sought out to comfort the teen no matter the situation. They knew that no matter they say, they couldn't stop her contacting her and she would be able to make her own decision soon enough when she turned 18 and until then they'd be the ones' to pick up the broken pieces when the mum let her daughter down.
They were your family, not by blood but by choice. You'd probably be lost without them sometimes.
"I... I should have realised sooner," You thought to yourself as you lay crumpled up on your bed that following night, it was almost near 4 in the morning and you were still wide awake with things racing through your head.
You couldn't help but think about things, how you should have noticed the tell-tail signs of her gaslighting you were old enough to properly realise, that was your first mistake.
Your second being that you believed her manipulation, she would always twist things to make her seem like the victim in all different situations - back when you were a child and even now as an adult.
How long it had taken you finally realise it after all of these years. Why hadn't you realised it sooner?
Without realising, you were sobbing aloud as you clutched on to your pillow tightly - the pent up anger was replaced by complete sadness and loss. You only ever wanted the approval of your mum about things and you fought so hard for it.
The phone call, the hopeful seal of approval...  Every time it always seemed to be the same type of emotions when you spoke to your mum - It was a vicious cycle of emotional abuse, or so you'd been told from other people and you never wanted to believe it.
Only problem was that you'd not been able to see it yourself, even if it was clear as day. Even if regardless of a psychological therapist telling you this, you refused to believe them words. Nor your team mates, who had realised it the first time they had the chance to meet her and even then you wouldn't listen or hear them out.
It was your mum, your flesh and blood so how could she be like that? You had never been able to wrap your head around it.
The sound of sobs were what woke Leah up, she was quick to pad out of her bedroom and down the hall to where your bedroom was. "Kidda?" The women pushed the door open and her heart cracked to see you looking so distraught and vulnerable.
The blonde was quick to move to be right beside you, she was always the one to comfort you and she wouldn't ever stop doing that as long as you needed her.
"Hey, kidda. Come here," The blonde scooped you up in her arms and rocked you all while she ran her slender fingers through your messy bedhead. "You're okay. I'm here," she reassured you.
Leah was always patient enough to wait for you to calm down before she gave you the chance to speak, she wouldn't ever push you to talk if you didn't want too.
"L... Le," You cried aloud as you clutched onto her. You breath became shaky as sobs wracked your body.
"I'm here, it's okay," Leah spoke calmly, continuing to try and comfort you the best way she knew but she already knew it was going to be a long night ahead of them - An emotional night that would leave you drained tomorrow.
A vicious cycle of on a loop.
"Ready to tell me what's going on inside that head of yours, huh?" The blonde tried to carefully ask.
There was another brief pause of silence, nothing but the quiet sobs coming from you as the blonde continued to comfort you and reassure you that she was here and not leaving you.
To Leah's surprise, you did open up this time around, even if you didn't mean too.
"I should have realised. I should have... I should have realised," You made the mistake to speak aloud rather than think it like you thought you had.
"You should have realised what, kidda?" Leah questioned, confused about what you meant.
You snap your head in the blondes' direction as you bit your bottom lip, debating whether to be open with your thoughts that you tried so hard to keep buried inside.
"About my mum... I should have realised," You repeated your words as you fought the tears from spilling. "She's so... She's so-- Why does everything I tell her, why does it always get turned back around so it's about her?" That was it. You blurted out your own feelings - There was no hiding how you felt anymore.
Leah smiled sympathetically and moved onto the sofa to sit closer to you, wrapping her free arm around your shoulder to comfort you, "I... I don't know kidda," she spoke honestly.
"So many people, so many people have told me-- They've warned me about her but I have... I never wanted to listen," You confessed, the tears openly rolled down your cheeks and you probably looked a right blubbering mess but you couldn't stop your emotions pouring out. "And now... Now I finally realise how it's always been. Why is she like that, Le?" You asked.
"I can't say I know the answer to that one kidda, I wish I knew," Leah replied, exhaling a sigh as she couldn't fathem herself how a mother could be like that with her own child, she felt so much for the girl and always wished she could make the situation better for her. "Listen, I know it's hard but you've got us. All of us girls here at Arsenal and you're so loved by all of us." she told you.
"I... I just want her to love me, and she just... she doesn't even care about my feelings!" You stated, roughly wiping at your tear stained cheeks angrily to the point that you made them red. "Why does she always throw everything back in my face? Everything that I have ever done, she's always made it about her... Always!" you cried.
"I know, I know it hurts... I know it does," You kept your head buried in the blondes' chest as you hiccuped from the sudden breakdown in the middle of the night. "And I am sorry that you have to go through this. It's not fair on you kidda." Leah added, biting her bottom lip.
All of emotion had led you feeling exhausted in the end, you fought it hard to keep your eyes open as you lay slumped against the blonde woman.
"Come on let's get you back into bed, yeah? I mean you're almost falling asleep on me here, kidda," Leah joked with you, hoping for you to even crack a small smile as she gently moved you back to your bed and tucked you in under the duvet. "I'm so sorry you have had to deal with the kidda but you know you have a family here with us. We may not be blood but we really love you kidda." You heard the faint words spoken to you as you felt your eye lids close, completely warn out.
Sure, the Arsenal women weren't family by blood but instead they were family by choice and that was more important. They were there for you whenever you needed them and you knew you felt safe with them around. You truly felt happy with your chosen family.
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adriennebarnes · 2 months
Text
Hips Don't Lie part 2
Pairing: Henry Cavill x Hispanic/Latina! Reader
Summary: Y/N invites Henry Cavill to a carne asada after a month of dating
Warning: probably some stereotypical Latina/Mexican things because I'm half Mexican, no translated Spanish, unwanted comments from an aunt about weight (for me it’s with my mom) and about Henry, spelling and grammar errors
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After a month of dating, Henry and Y/N were at his place, they were cooking tallarines saltado. Everything was going well and Y/N got a text.
“Give me a minute, guapo.” Y/N said, washing her hands to check her phone. It was a text from her mom. “Hey Henry, how do you feel about going to a carne asada? It’s this weekend, I know it’s a little soon to be meeting my parents, but I really don’t want to go alone.”
“Darling, it’s fine, I’ll go with you to the barbecue.” Henry said. He put the cut up steak into a pan to cook it along with the onions and tomatoes. “Why don’t you want to go alone?”
“Because my mom and my aunts are all going to be like ‘y el novio?’ Like I’m 32, not married or engaged, in their eyes…something is wrong. So please, my handsome British boyfriend, come with me to the carne asada.” Y/N practically begged, having her hands together in a praying motion.
“Yes, my tiny dancer, I’ll go to the carne asada.” Henry said, kissing her forehead and she was pouting with her arms crossed.
“I am not tiny, You’re just big.” Y/N said and her eyes widened at the last part of her sentence.
“In more ways than one.” Henry winked and kissed her. “Do we have to bring anything?” Y/N looked at him in a ‘are you kidding me’ kind of way. “Sorry, what are we bringing?”
“That’s better, and that depends. My mom usually makes her agua de Jamaica which is hibiscus water, don’t ask how it got the name, and red rice. Obviously my uncles bring the meat, um, I’m thinking, someone usually brings dessert which is like fruit salad and cookies, uh, carajo, no puedo pensar. Okay, I got it, we can make alfajores and picarones, mainly because I crave it.” Y/N said,
“What about really food? Should we bring macaroni salad?” Henry asked
“Never in my life have I ever seen macaroni salad at these carne asadas (I’m using my own experiences, obviously). We could make pasta though and like that we could eat some before we go and the rest we take it there.” Y/N said.
“Why would we eat before we go to the carne asada if we’re going to eat there?” Henry asked.
“Ay, amorcito, there’s so much You need to learn. Just in case there’s something you don’t like, and they never really start grilling right when you come in, it’s usually an hour after everyone’s there so you won’t be starving.” Y/N said.
“Alright, I’ll make the list so we can go shopping tomorrow. Now, I know this is going to be a stupid question, but what do I wear?” Henry asked.
“It’s not stupid at all. So again, my mom taught to dress presentable for whatever ‘event’ so like dress semi formal but summery.” Y/N said and Henry looked at her confused. “Just wear your khaki pants your navy or light blue button down.” Henry nodded.
It was the night before the carne asada and Y/N and Henry were in Y/N’s kitchen, their dessert is chilling, her dog Concha laying down in her bed (any breed you want), and they’re going over the family tree.
“Yeimy is my favorite cousin, she’s a music producer, love her to death. Then we have Juan Luis, Yeimy’s brother, kinda mujeriego, me entiendes, very fuckboy, but he’s a lawyer so we’re friendly. There’s my Tia chela, but you have to call her Graciela until she says you can call her Chela. Now Chela comments on my weight, a lot more than my mom does pero eso es otra cosa aparte.” Y/N said, showing pictures of each family member to Henry.
“Okay…who is Veronica?” Henry asked.
“She’s my mom’s friend from church, I don’t think she’ll be here though, she’s in Colombia.” Y/N said, looking for her photo to show him.
“And we’re going to your mom’s house for the carne asada?” Henry asked.
“Yes, I got her a house with a nice yard, my dad has the grill with the charcoal y todo. Now if there’s anything special that you want to drink or eat, get it tomorrow morning, we have to be there at 2.” Y/N said, now cleaning up the kitchen. So are you staying the night so you can help me with everything or are you coming here early in the morning?”
“I got all stuff in my car, I’m staying the night. I’ll just bring it in.” Henry said, he opened the door to leave and Concha got up from her bed to leave with Henry. “Nope, not you, just me.”
The day of the carne asada, Henry was in the driving with Y/N carrying the alfajores and picarones, the pasta in the backseat with Concha chilling so she could see her cousins. Y/N was wearing a sundress with wedge sandals.
“Okay, when you go in your obviously say hello to everyone, depending on whether the women of my family lean in, it’s a hug and a kiss on the cheek. It’s not a real kiss, it’s more of a cheek touch and the kiss sound, and with the men, again, obviously a handshake.” Y/N reminded him.
“Darling, I know everything, please relax.” Henry said.
“I cant relax, they never met any of my partners before.” Y/N said.
“Well i feel very special now.” Henry said.
“You should.” Y/N said.
Henry parked on the street, they go out of the car, Henry helping Y/N with the food as she put Concha on a leash so they could go to the house.
“Mami, ya llegamos!” Y/N yelled as she opened the gate to enter the yard.
“Ay Y/N, mi niña, cómo estás, amor? Y trajiste a supermán! Sabía que tenías amigos famosos pero nunca pensé de esta altura.” Y/N’s mom, Carolina, said.
“Ah mami, él se llama Henry, es mi novio, pero habla inglés, por favor.” Y/N told her mom.
“Oh my god, Henry, it’s so good to meet you. Finally my daughter has a boyfriend!” Carolina said and Y/N looked away to roll her eyes (because who the hell rolls their eyes in front of the their mothers, right?) “Princesa, has subido de peso? Te está saliendo un poquito la panza, no? Bueno, deja toda la comida en las mesa que no falta poco para llegar lo demás gente.” Carolina said and walked away to get paper plates and plastic utensils for everyone.
“What did she tell you?” Henry asked,
“Nothing it doesn’t matter, just put the food on the table, okay? Come on, Concha, let’s take you out your harness.” Y/N said and placed the food on the table to let her dog loose and Concha started running on the grass with Carolina’s cavalier King Charles spaniel, Honey. A few minutes, the cousins came, there was Yeimy, Juan Luis, Fabian (Peluche) and his wife Cecilia (Chiquis), Irma and her husband Erick, María José and her husband Diego, Alfonso (Poncho), and Maite.
“Prima, que bueno verte! Ooh, look at you, love the dress, you look so good.” Irma said, letting her Maltese, Cinnamon, off leash, Cinnamon ran to Concha.
“My mom didn’t think so, que bueno verte.” Y/N said, hugging her and kissing her cheek.
“Ay, no la escuchas, you look Great.” Yeimy said, placing what she brought on the table as well.
“Quien es el güerito?” Peluche asked, letting his german shepherd, Roscoe, off his leash
“Ay Peluche, mira quien habla de güerito. Anyway, everyone, this is my boyfriend, Henry.” Y/N introduced Henry.
“Hello, it’s a pleasure to meet you all.” As Y/N told him, Henry greeted the girl cousins with a hug and let them kiss his cheek while shaking hands with the boy cousins.
“You landed Superman? The Witcher? How did you do that?” Maite asked. Y/N was going to answer but the tias and tíos came in as well.
“Hola hola! Carolina, ya llegamos! A ver, gordita, arrímate otra mesa, si?” Tía Chela told Y/N and Y/N did as she was told, she pulled another table to they could also place the food. Henry was saying hello to everyone. “Y mija, segura que es fiel? Como que es muy guapo, ha trabajado con mujeres como tú amiga Eiza, con la mujer maravilla, no sé, me parece raro que esté contigo.”
“Ay mamá, deja de escupir tu veneno a ella, ve con mi papá que está juntado al heladera para las bebidas.” María José said and Chela left reluctantly.
“Thanks, Majo.” Y/N said,
“I grew up with her criticizing me, can’t have her do the same to you. Look at us, we’re in our 30s and we still care about what our mothers say.” Majo said,
“Eso nunca va a cambiar.” Y/N said and she walked back to Henry where he was listening to her Tío Juancho (Juan Camilo) telling a story about his camping trip.
“Hey, pececita, I was just telling your boyfriend about the time I went camping,” Juancho said, hugging and kissing Y/N.
“So glad you’re back, love.” Henry said, wrapping his arm around her waist and kissed her cheek.
“Oye Henry’s ven conmigo un momento, come with me.” Y/N’s dad, Carlos, told Henry, tapping his shoulder.
“Papi, que vas a hacer?” Y/N asked.
“Nada mija, es como male bonding, help me grill, Superman.” Carlos said.
“Papi!” Y/N whined.
“Ve con tus primos, princesa.” Carlos said.
“It’s alright, maybe it’s a good thing.” Henry said, kissing Y/N to ease her worries. Henry went with Carlos to the grilled, grabbing the tray of seasoned meats to cook.
“So, Superman, how long have you been dating my daughter?” Carlos asked, sipping a bit of modelo beer.
“Not long, a month.” Henry answered.
“You think of dating her for longer?” Carlos asked.
“Of course, sir.” Henry said,
“Ah, escucha eso, ‘sir’, mira que respetuoso me salió. Listen, Y/N is a good girl, she worked hard in her music, bought this house for me y mi mujer, and if you break her heart or hurt her in anyway, I know some people.” Carlos threatened and Henry got paler.
Carlos laughed. “Ah, te estoy vacilando, it was a joke, you seem like a good person, you know how to grill?” Henry let out a breath of relief.
“Yeah, yes, I know how to grill.” Henry said.
“Good, pass me the orange container, it has the ribs.” Carlos said. Henry did what he was told and gave Y/N a thumbs up. Y/N gave him one back.
“You think your güero can eat what we brought?” Diego asked.
“Let’s hope so, as long as he doesn’t add salsa, it should be fine.” Y/N said. She looked over to where Henry was grilling with her dad, they’re gonna last, maybe not forever, but they would totally last.
Everyone was eating.
“Mija, te salió muy bien la pasta.” Carolina said.
“Gracias, me ayudó Henry también.” Y/N said, making sure she knew.
“Who knew you could cook, Henry, and with seasoning.” Carolina said, sitting down to eat. Henry looked at Y/N and she put her hands up in surrender. Everyone was serving themselves until.
“Haz platos para sus hombres también, que no se te olvide.” Chelis announced.
“Ay mamá, mas anticuada no puedes ser, ellos tienen manos, que se sirven solos.” Majo told her mom.
“Whats happening?” Henry whispered in Y/N’s ear.
“Do you see why I couldn’t come here alone? Just don’t serve yourself any salsa, the sauces are usually very spicy, the rest should be good to eat. There’s tacos dorados that have potatoes, some are chicken, others are beans, it’s a surprise. Take one of each, I’m sure you’ll like it.” Y/N whispered back to him. Everyone serves their own plate porque así debe ser, and they were all chatting, mainly trying to get to know Henry.
“So Henry, You’re a good looking man, why are you here with Y/N? I’m sure you can do a lot better.” Chela said and Majo states at her mom and mouthed her apology to Y/N.
“Has she been telling you this the entire time? Asking why I’m here with you?” Henry asked Y/N and Y/N just nodded. Henry stood up from his seat. “Listen, Graciela, I fell for Y/N the moment I saw her, I don’t know what you have been telling her since we got here but I have had enough. She didn’t want to come here alone and now I know why. If she shows up alone, you’ll ask why she doesn’t have a boyfriend, she shows up with me, you ask her why I’m here with her, that’s enough.” Henry said, Y/N pulled his arm to sit him back down.
“Perdón, Y/N, que Pena contigo.” Chela said and Y/N just nodded, it was nice to have someone other than her cousins defend her. “I’m sorry to you too, Henry.” Henry nodded his head and everyone continued eating. By the time they were finished, they went their “separate ways”.
In the carne asada, there were 3 sections, where the cousins were talking about their memories, what they’ve been up to. The aunts and her mom were talking about neighborhood gossip and about their kids. And of course the uncles and her dad drinking and talking about whatever.
“How did you and Henry meet?” Maite asked again.
“Well my coworker Eiza wanted to set me up with her, saying she was going to be at the after party. I didn’t want to be set up but when I went to the after party, I saw this beautiful woman dancing like she was the only one in the room, she captured everyone’s attention, including mine. Eiza noticed I was staring at the dancer and it turned out to be Y/N so Eiza called her over and there you have it.” Henry told them.
“Mira eso, prima, lo dejaste embobado desde el primer momento.” Ponchó said, petting Concha that went up to him.
“Así es, I thank our parents for playing Shakira when we were growing up.” Y/N said, raising her beer bottle to toast.
“Speaking of Shakira, how did you dance when he spotted you?” Chiquis asked, connecting her phone to the Bluetooth speaker that Peluche carried. It started playing the song ‘hips don’t lie’ and everyone was cheering ‘oh’.
“Alright, alright, I’ll show y’all.” Y/N said, getting up from her chair, handing Henry her beer. “It was something like this.”
Everyone was cheering, Henry was whistling, they were just having a good time.
“Pero ya, i guess that’s how Henry fell for me.” Y/N said, sitting on Henry’s lap now, taking her beer form his hand.
“You have no idea, sweetheart.” Henry kissed her.
“Mira Que lindo, pero no sé comen delante de los pobres.” Juan Luis said, sipping his beer.
“No que tienes novia, hermano?” Yeimy asked.
“Pero no está aquí, boba.” Juan Luis said.
“Wait Henry, why did you really like my dancing?” Y/N asked.
“You want the really answer or the savory answer?” Henry asked and Y/N hit his chest playfully. “Alright, alright, you were having fun, I wanted to be with someone I could have fun with. That, and the way you moved your hips gave me an idea of how you would be in other activities.” Henry smirked and Y/N laughed.
“Ay, you’re so dirty.” Y/N said, placing her head in the crook of his neck. “How you like my family?”
“I think I could come over more often, if you invite me, of course.” Henry said.
“Of course.” Y/N repeated and they kissed, his hands on her waist.
Taglist: @f10werfae @warriormirkwood @marieksg
181 notes · View notes
shirefantasies · 2 months
Note
Can I request a How Many Kids They Want for the characters from The Hobbit? I’m curious to hear what you think!
Heck yeah! I already made a placeholder for it in my drafts cuz I had to let’s GOOOO! Last post pre-surgery, crazy that we’re only 3 days out 🥲
How Many Kids Do They Want? The Hobbit Edition
Balin
Certainly not a future he ever expected, but it’s not such a bad one, is it? How big his family is is a question Balin wouldn’t mind deferring to his partner, especially as he would never be the one bearing them! But probably not more than three if he was really pressed for an answer.
Dwalin
Girl dad. I said what I said. Secretly wants to settle down and adores the idea of domestic life, especially with a sweetheart of a partner who he can take care of. This transfers to his children, who Dwalin is the fiercest papa bear to! No one will touch a single hair upon his daughters’ heads. I can see him having two or three little girls, very unusual for a dwarf and a bit unexpected to him, who would have said he wanted sons. The moment he has to pull a knife out of his little girl’s hand, though, the very same one that held a doll on the other side, Dwalin realizes what he wants has nothing to do with boys. Raises the toughest girls this side of the mountains!
Thorin
Does not mind the idea of a small family, more time and love to give each member as king. Thorin is fiercely loyal and dedicated, so he wants to shower his partner and child(ren) with as much as he possibly can. Thus he would prefer only one or two children. While he hopes for a son to continue on the line of Durin, growing up with a sister gave him a soft spot and respect for femininity, too. A boy and a girl sounds perfect to him, Thorin’s little prince and princess. He would have such a hard time not softening his harsh ways and one hundred percent spoiling them, but the last thing he wants is to raise spoiled royalty with no humility!
Oin
Oin is so the type of father to have a big family and brag about them all the time! Five or six children. He’s the default carer when they get sick, being so good at treating any ailment or pain that they run to him upon feeling any sort of ill. Not picky about if he has boys or girls, ending up with two girls and three or four boys. All of them are welcome to become his apprentices and several even grew up playing ‘doctor’ for years beforehand! Literally Oin could be handling someone halfway to bleeding out and he’s still standing there staunching it saying how he has the best kids ever.
Gloin
The proudest father and family man in general! Cannot wait to have a family of his own and absolutely wants a son to be his mini-me. Has a special bond with his son as we all know. Gloin is happy to even have one child, but could be persuaded to go up to two or three. Would raise the toughest, shrewdest daughter as he shows her the ropes of getting out of uncomfortable situations and having the confidence to stand up for whatever she wants!
Bifur
A family is a future he never grew up expecting being a manual laborer and warrior. Parts of him weren’t even sure how long he’d live unless he got tough, which of course he did! One son sounds good to him, someone to pass on stories of battle and his ancestors to and shape as a fighter, though he also hopes if he has a family they would not be so forced to see war.
Bofur
Envies his brother’s family a bit, not that he wants quite so many! Bofur would be happy with two or three or four. He loves the idea of having a little girl, especially if she’s a tiny version of his partner, he would just melt at the sight of her. Total, though, he’s down for three or four, multiple but still small enough to feel cozy! Absolutely the type of father who lets his daughter dance with her feet on his and teases the kids whenever he can! Makes little hats for his sons so they can match.
Bombur
Going by the fanon/actor canon here as always, a lot. He’s so good with wee ones and just adores them, so he is down for as many as he’ll be allowed, even up to thirteen or fourteen! Because of this, he naturally wants several of both boys and girls, especially because girls are rarer among his people. So playful with them and a master of getting down to their level as a naturally lighthearted and whimsical person. He loves when the little ones help him cook or bake even if it gets messy!
Dori
The most caring father ever, forever doting on his children and making them feel loved, even if it’s a little much! His perfect number is two, one of each if he’s lucky but he’d be happy with two of the same, too. Dori grew up caring for both of his brothers for enough years, after all, but he also has the sneaking suspicion that with dwarven culture, his love for the finer things would be more likely passed on to daughters! Likes the idea of teaching skills like sewing or jewelry-making to whoever his offspring are.
Nori
Kind of suspects if he had a child, it might not be legitimate, but in the end he takes the plunge of settling down, feeling the urge as he ages to keep his bloodline on. One or two is enough for him, though, sons if he can help it, which being a dwarf he practically can! Realizes carrying a wee bairn around has a charm that lets him get away with even more than usual, and as they age teaches his little boys how to play games and even to cheat a little.
Ori
Softer, more caring than his middle brother, someone who fantasized about having a family if someone would have him. His vision is of four children, two of each. So patient with all the buzzing questions and curiosities of their young minds. All of them, boys or girls, will have the most enriching environments full of art and writing, being raised with culture over getting taught to fight. Since self-expression is encouraged, though, you can bet it’s a loud home!
Fili
Even beyond the weight of cultural expectations, Fili wants to experience being a father. Doesn’t have as strong a desire for a son as most kings and princes do, honoring his mother and what a great queen she would make. In fact, he loves the idea of raising a future queen more than king in some ways. She would be strong, resilient, free to be herself and not fall to the shadows beneath anyone if Fili has his way. He definitely wants more than one, though, and in fact ends up with twins, too! Identical twin sons he encourages both to train and explore as well as to mess with everyone by lying about which twin they are.
Kili
This dwarf loves his mother and is just dying to show his children the love he got and respect his partner especially if she’s the mother of his children! The idea of a family makes him happy like nothing else, for despite all his flirting and seeming like he wants to have fun he really wants to settle down with the love of his life. He wants at least one of each, loving different things about having a son and daughter. The kind of father who would play dress-up with his daughter and spar with her just as much as his son! All in all, he’s pretty open on numbers, but he wants at least two and the ideal range in his mind is around three to five.
Bilbo
Didn’t think he wanted children for a long time, but Bilbo is definitely the sort to change his mind if he meets the right person. Still would prefer a smaller family of one or two children, though, as more would be overwhelming to him and he wants to keep his home in order! Boy or girl, his kids would learn so many skills ranging from folding handkerchiefs to cartography. No strong preference from Bilbo on what he wants, per se, he more just hopes to have things in common with them and be able to bond.
Thranduil
Torn between his desire for an heir and not exactly paternal ways, Thranduil really only wants one child. All his attention can be focused that way, too, because at his heart he does know that duty makes it hard to be as involved as he could be with family and it would not be fair to have a massive family he can’t spend time with. Likes the idea of a son, again considering an heir, but a little girl would have the woodland king absolutely wrapped around her finger and get every pretty little thing she wants.
Bard
Pretty obvious on this one, but he would want three! Not so picky on having sons or daughters, especially when his legacy already has pressure upon it. In truth he’s the sort who wants ‘the full experience’ and says he’d want to try for one of each. Teaches all of his little family valuable skills, wishing them the best chance in life. They’ll learn to heal, defend themselves even if it’s not fighting, simply keeping safe.
Beorn
Intimidated as he is by the prospect of having children in a world that was so cruel to his people, his papa bear instincts run deep through his veins. I can see him having twins or even triplets, like a little litter all his own. I see triplets, two boys and a girl. Beorn cannot help the way his often harsh expression softens at his little ones, the hopeful smile that creeps onto his face at the thought of continuing the Skin Changers’ legacy through his sons and daughters, his name-bearers and the one who will choose her own.
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obey-me-disaster · 9 months
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Would they like to propose or be proposed to?
Summary: Basically what the title says. Would they like to be ones to ask MC to marry them or would they like MC to ask for their hand in marriage.
Disclaimer: At the end of the day it's not the most important thing who does it as along as they get to be with MC, but preferences are bound to exist. All of them love MC and who proposes is but a minor detail to them in the long run.
Demon brothers x gn!MC
Lucifer
He would get a lot of satisfaction of MC being forward and proposing to him but he would still just a tiny bit prefer to be the one to propose.
Small spoilers for the wedding event, but he prefers the proposal to be simple and a more intimate affair.
He is pretty smug about it, trying to act like he doesn't know MC would say yes to him asking them to marry him.
Mammon
Out of all the brothers he is the one that really goes out of his way to make sure MC is not forced into anything they truly wouldn't want.
He always gives them the option to leave if they don't feel well and always stresses the importance of them not doing anything they are uncomfortable with.
When it comes to proposing he would take a similar approach to asking them out for the dance in season 2 of the original game. He gave some hints to MC that he would like to be their partner but in the end he left it up to MC to ask him. That's probably the way he would want to do things when it comes to proposing too.
Leviathan
He would prefer if you were the one to propose. Sure, him being anxious about you rejecting him is one of the reasons, but not the only one.
His self esteem is far from good and while he made incredible progress he still thinks there will be one day where you leave him.
If you were the one to propose it would really show that you indeed want to be with him for the rest of your life. It would not only calm down a lot of his worries but it would really make him feel truly wanted by you.
Satan
He has a ton of ideas about how the proposal should go based on his books. In some scenarios he is the one to propose and in other scenarios MC is the one that actually does it.
In end he can't make up his mind so he decides to go from another perspective: both him and MC do their own thing and see who proposes first. If MC is anything similar to him, both of them would end up proposing at the same time by accident.
He isn't the proudest about not making up his mind but in the end he would not have it any other way.
Asmodeus
He would get to excited about the idea of marriage that he would be able to make up his mind about who proposes.
On one hand he adores MC and wants to shower them with love when he asks for their hand in marriage.
But the thought of MC getting down on one knee and professing their love to him is also something worth dying for.
So he comes up with the genius idea of both of you proposing. It doesn't have to be at the same time or the same way. There is no rule where it says that only one person had to propose. That way he has best of both worlds and double the love and pretty rings
Beelzebub
I feel like he would prefer to be the one to propose cause he sees it as his way of swearing to MC that he will protect them.
Sure, he already promised them that but after everything they have done for him and his family he sees it as only fair if he is the one to take the first step in making them an official member of the family and really drive home the whole 'I will always protect you'
Belphegor
I know some people may think he would rather let MC propose cause it's too much work, and to some extent he may be inclined to do that, he still prefers to be the one to propose.
He is aware that compared to most demons/humans/etc. he is not the most active. He is sloth, and while he tries to make an effort and be active for MC, sometimes his sin gets the better of him.
He wants to be the one to propose to show that despite his sin he is willing to put effort into his relationship with MC for the rest of their lives.
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utilitycaster · 1 year
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I think of this tweet when I think of the Mighty Nein:
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If you are not familiar with Everything Everywhere All At Once, it's...quite a lot to describe, but in the real world, these two people are married, with a modest and at times frustrating life, and Evelyn (Michelle Yeoh) in particular feels she's something of a failure, and is often frustrated with her optimistic husband, Waymond (Ke Huy Quan). The movie explores alternate universes, and these images are from one in which they never married and emigrated to the United States and opened up a laundromat, but instead, she became a martial arts action movie star, and he became a wealthy businessman. They reconnect at her film premier and discuss their regrets, but when she turns him down again, he tells her "So, even though you have broken my heart yet again, I wanted to say, in another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you."
In other words, that tweet misses the point to an extent that is almost difficult to believe...and so to I feel does the belief that the Mighty Nein should have become more famous, or that their story now isn't a happy one.
The Mighty Nein are unique among the parties in that they are all, relatively speaking, young, and profoundly mortal. There's no Keyleth, or Laudna, or Fearne, or FCG here. Of the PCs, Caduceus is the only one who will see past 200, and he's by design steeped in the concept of mortality. They get this life and that's it.
So yes, Beau is having some bumps in the road adjusting to her first real job. Veth is anxious about starting a new business venture, and much of her late campaign arc was about her worries about the drastic changes she'd led her family into. Fjord and Jester don't know how to react to having a home of their own, even a tiny one. Caleb is dealing with the achingly slow bureaucracies of academia. And Fjord, Jester, and Caleb (and, offscreen, Essek) are all tentatively navigating their first or one of their first romantic relationships as an adult. And it's rocky, and weird, and full of banalities and nosy neighbors and smart-mouthed crew members and irritated tenured professors and demanding librarians.
And laundry, and taxes.
It's real in a way the glittery fame isn't, and despite it all, they're happier for it.
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scribblesofagooner · 3 months
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Family, not by blood but by choice instead | awfc x reader
I messed up on this blog so I made a new one which is @scribblesofagoonerr so I’m gonna be posting over on there instead now.
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You should have known, there was tell-tail signs all throughout the last several years and yet you were so blind about it all.
Your mother was a narcissist, she was manipulative and gaslighted you your whole life, you were always made out to the bad guy and she was the victim.
It was clear as day to anyone on the outside, but your niave self just chose to always believe different about things.
Looking back on the several years of your childhood, you had always thought you upbringing wasn't completely terrible. It was just the 2 of you, only your mum and you ever since you could remember. Your parents ended up splitting up when you were really little but ever since that day, you had always been made out to be the reason for their seperation.
You had always wonderd how it could be your fault. You was only 3 when he walked out, so how could it really be like that?
"You were always too much to handle. He couldn't cope," Your mum would say, all of them long nights when you would wrap your tiny arms around her and sob your little heart out to her.
"I'm here, you've got me. You've only ever got me," Her words were embedded in your head from the day that you'd decided to try and have an open conversation about the possibility of finding your dad. "Why go and find him? Haven't I been good enough. I'm the one that's looked after you all of these years and this is the thanks that I get in return?" It was always something that like, always a guiltrip and it was something that she knew would work well.
The harsh statement of the most recent conversation with the older woman left a bitter taste in your mouth and make you question every single thing in life.
"Aren't you happy for me? I made it, mum!" You exclaimed, you were happy enough to want to share the news with your mum but you found so dumbfound by her response which left you feeling shame and judgement for even wanting to tell her.
"Yes you have made it Y/N but you know, you only have me to thank for that now, don't you?" Your mum once again found a way to make it about herself, regardless of the situation;  It was always and only ever about her. "I'm sure that you can find some way to thank me though. All of those years and the amount I have spent on football boots for you. You'd be nowhere if it wasn't for me and I think you owe me now, don't you?" she told you.
You remember feeling stunned by her words, there was a lot of emotions that you had felt building up inside as you were ultimately confused how she'd somehow managed to twist this to make it all about herself but of course she was quick enough to make an excuse to end the call when she grew bored of talking to you.
You should have knew better, every phone call always ended up being the same way and it always left you with a feeling of guilt for making a life for yourself and that phone call that night wasn't any different. You had just been so excited to spill the news, however that excitment soon faded and was replaced by confused feelings of upset and anger once you'd told her, you fought to hold in your tears during the initial phone call but you were on the verge of breaking by the time she had hung up.
That phone call was the one you told her about making it into the national team, you had only been a part of Arsenal womens' first team for under a year and it felt like a massive achievement to be selected to represent your country and immediately you couldn't wait to share the news with your mum - You thought that she'd be pleased for you but you couldn't be further away from the truth.
Ever since that phone call, you had tried your hardest to distance yourself from your mum but it hurt to do that. The women was the only blood related family member that you had, it had only ever been the 2 of you, together through thick and thin.
Flash forward to now, the current time where you are sitting on the sofa, you had returned home after a long training session and you couldn't help but think about it that conversation on a constant loop in your head. 
"You were quiet tonight kidda," Leah perched on the arm of sofa as looked at you in concern. "I'm about to start cookin' tea. How's chicken dippers and smiley faces sound, eh?" she suggested.
"Mhm. Sure that sounds good to me," You mumbled as you kept your eyes focused on nothing but the telly.
The truth was that the conversation was constantly replaying in your head; The conversation, the bitterness and manipulation, every time you thought about it it then made you think of every other time that something like this happened.
Maybe your childhood wasn't as great as you really thought?
"Okay then... Is there anything that you want to talk about?" The blonde questioned, hoping for a bit more of an insight on your mood; Returning from her own rehab session, the entire car ride had been quiet compared to normal and the older woman couldn't help but feel something wasn't right.
"Nope," You stood firm in your reply, shaking your head as you kept your eyes glued on the TV screen; You couldn't really say that you payed much attention to whatever it was, the noise was pretty much a blur that was playing in the background.
"Are you sure?" Leah questioned, frowning worriedly as she took note of the tears welling up in your eyes. "Kidda, what's the matter? You look like you're gonna cry." she stated.
"I... I'm fine," You mumbled, fighting hard to keep the tears at bay until you could escape to your bedroom and allow yourself to be vulnerable and alone. You'd always felt complete shame to show any sort of vunterability in front of anyone, let alone the blonde footballer who'd virtually taken you under her wing ever since you joined during the transfer break of 2022.
You'd always been told that crying showed weakness and you refused to be seen as weak.
"Okay," Leah was quick to drop the subject when she realised you weren't going to open and talk about things. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it but just remember that I'm always here to listen. Anytime that you want too, alright?" she told you.
Unfortunately you were stubborn to not give in and blurt everything out in the open. You were just trying to wrap your head around the idea of things and see things for how they really were.
"Uh huh," You mumbled a response as you got up from the sofa and trudged in the direction of your bedroom.
Leah exhaled a sigh as she shook her head, herself heading into the kitchen to make a start on dinner. The woman knew better than to try and get you to talk if you didn't want too.
She'd always been around to witness the moments like this and the backlash of it. Of course the blonde knew this was all stemmed down to one person causing you to be like this and she hated that you were left upset every single time.
Every single time you and your mum fought, you'd always ended up quiet and in a bad mood, often resulting in lashing out at people around you as a coping mechanism.
None of the girls ever took it to heart, they were old enough to realise that none of your anger was directly aimed at them and there was bigger issues to be dealt with.
The Arsenal women all had their own opinions on the teens' mother but they would never voice them out loud to you. It wouldn't be fair on the youngest in the squad even after the countless times they had seen the girl upset by her own mums actions.
Ever since the teen had moved in, there had been several nights where Leah would be the one to comfort the girl and pick up the peices, waking up in the middle of the night to hear the teen's heartbroken sobs and feeling her own heart shatter every single time, wanting nothing more than take away any sort of pain the girl was experiencing.
It was heartbreaking for all of the team to witness and always sought out to comfort the teen no matter the situation. They knew that no matter they say, they couldn't stop her contacting her and she would be able to make her own decision soon enough when she turned 18 and until then they'd be the ones' to pick up the broken pieces when the mum let her daughter down.
They were your family, not by blood but by choice. You'd probably be lost without them sometimes.
"I... I should have realised sooner," You thought to yourself as you lay crumpled up on your bed that following night, it was almost near 4 in the morning and you were still wide awake with things racing through your head.
You couldn't help but think about things, how you should have noticed the tell-tail signs of her gaslighting you were old enough to properly realise, that was your first mistake.
Your second being that you believed her manipulation, she would always twist things to make her seem like the victim in all different situations - back when you were a child and even now as an adult.
How long it had taken you finally realise it after all of these years. Why hadn't you realised it sooner?
Without realising, you were sobbing aloud as you clutched on to your pillow tightly - the pent up anger was replaced by complete sadness and loss. You only ever wanted the approval of your mum about things and you fought so hard for it.
The phone call, the hopeful seal of approval...  Every time it always seemed to be the same type of emotions when you spoke to your mum - It was a vicious cycle of emotional abuse, or so you'd been told from other people and you never wanted to believe it.
Only problem was that you'd not been able to see it yourself, even if it was clear as day. Even if regardless of a psychological therapist telling you this, you refused to believe them words. Nor your team mates, who had realised it the first time they had the chance to meet her and even then you wouldn't listen or hear them out.
It was your mum, your flesh and blood so how could she be like that? You had never been able to wrap your head around it.
The sound of sobs were what woke Leah up, she was quick to pad out of her bedroom and down the hall to where your bedroom was. "Kidda?" The women pushed the door open and her heart cracked to see you looking so distraught and vulnerable.
The blonde was quick to move to be right beside you, she was always the one to comfort you and she wouldn't ever stop doing that as long as you needed her.
"Hey, kidda. Come here," The blonde scooped you up in her arms and rocked you all while she ran her slender fingers through your messy bedhead. "You're okay. I'm here," she reassured you.
Leah was always patient enough to wait for you to calm down before she gave you the chance to speak, she wouldn't ever push you to talk if you didn't want too.
"L... Le," You cried aloud as you clutched onto her. You breath became shaky as sobs wracked your body.
"I'm here, it's okay," Leah spoke calmly, continuing to try and comfort you the best way she knew but she already knew it was going to be a long night ahead of them - An emotional night that would leave you drained tomorrow.
A vicious cycle of on a loop.
"Ready to tell me what's going on inside that head of yours, huh?" The blonde tried to carefully ask.
There was another brief pause of silence, nothing but the quiet sobs coming from you as the blonde continued to comfort you and reassure you that she was here and not leaving you.
To Leah's surprise, you did open up this time around, even if you didn't mean too.
"I should have realised. I should have... I should have realised," You made the mistake to speak aloud rather than think it like you thought you had.
"You should have realised what, kidda?" Leah questioned, confused about what you meant.
You snap your head in the blondes' direction as you bit your bottom lip, debating whether to be open with your thoughts that you tried so hard to keep buried inside.
"About my mum... I should have realised," You repeated your words as you fought the tears from spilling. "She's so... She's so-- Why does everything I tell her, why does it always get turned back around so it's about her?" That was it. You blurted out your own feelings - There was no hiding how you felt anymore.
Leah smiled sympathetically and moved onto the sofa to sit closer to you, wrapping her free arm around your shoulder to comfort you, "I... I don't know kidda," she spoke honestly.
"So many people, so many people have told me-- They've warned me about her but I have... I never wanted to listen," You confessed, the tears openly rolled down your cheeks and you probably looked a right blubbering mess but you couldn't stop your emotions pouring out. "And now... Now I finally realise how it's always been. Why is she like that, Le?" You asked.
"I can't say I know the answer to that one kidda, I wish I knew," Leah replied, exhaling a sigh as she couldn't fathem herself how a mother could be like that with her own child, she felt so much for the girl and always wished she could make the situation better for her. "Listen, I know it's hard but you've got us. All of us girls here at Arsenal and you're so loved by all of us." she told you.
"I... I just want her to love me, and she just... she doesn't even care about my feelings!" You stated, roughly wiping at your tear stained cheeks angrily to the point that you made them red. "Why does she always throw everything back in my face? Everything that I have ever done, she's always made it about her... Always!" you cried.
"I know, I know it hurts... I know it does," You kept your head buried in the blondes' chest as you hiccuped from the sudden breakdown in the middle of the night. "And I am sorry that you have to go through this. It's not fair on you kidda." Leah added, biting her bottom lip.
All of emotion had led you feeling exhausted in the end, you fought it hard to keep your eyes open as you lay slumped against the blonde woman.
"Come on let's get you back into bed, yeah? I mean you're almost falling asleep on me here, kidda," Leah joked with you, hoping for you to even crack a small smile as she gently moved you back to your bed and tucked you in under the duvet. "I'm so sorry you have had to deal with the kidda but you know you have a family here with us. We may not be blood but we really love you kidda." You heard the faint words spoken to you as you felt your eye lids close, completely warn out.
Sure, the Arsenal women weren't family by blood but instead they were family by choice and that was more important. They were there for you whenever you needed them and you knew you felt safe with them around. You truly felt happy with your chosen family.
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bella-rose29 · 4 months
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Deck the Halls (and not your partner) - Part 2
To make this work (I'm sorry) the reader has a very large family, and they will have names (I genuinely cannot be asked to try and figure that out and make it entirely... non OC)
Word count: 4.5k
Warnings: swearing, lockwood and children so beware your hearts, lockwood gets hugged and can't deal with it, the family members are mean, reader doesn't eat much, lockwood is still a bit of an arse and so is the reader (but hers is more justified), proofread maybe once
series master list
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So far, it had absolutely been a shitshow.
Lockwood had remained silent for the next hour and a half of the train journey, and with not much else to do but plan every tiny detail of their fake relationship Y/n thought she might be going mad.
Luckily they already knew a lot about each other, so they could get away with not going over basic details about the other's life, but Y/n hadn't talked much about her family to anyone other than George in rants after phone calls with them, so if they thought that she was talking shit about them behind their backs (which she was, but they didn't need to know that) then they would descend like vultures.
She was disrupted from her thoughts when Lockwood stood up from the table seats they'd managed to get, his leg kicking at hers as he manoeuvred into the aisle, not sparing a second glance at Y/n. She frowned, about to call after him and ask where he was going, but when he disappeared out the doors and into the next carriage she decided that she didn't really care, and at least he wasn't brooding in her field of vision.
Y/n had barely been on her own for a minute when a family of five came into the carriage (they must have got on at the station they had recently stopped at), and with her being the only one sat on a table on her own and all the others taken, they made for her. She swallowed, for once wishing Lockwood was here to make her look less selfish, and sat up a little straighter in her seat.
"Excuse me, but would you mind moving? We've got three kids and need somewhere for us all to sit, and since there's only one of you..." The man trailed off, looking at Y/n pointedly, and while initially she had wanted to hold her ground she could feel herself shrinking under his gaze.
Where the fuck is Lockwood?!
He could talk his way out of this, she was sure. It was one of the few things she begrudgingly accepted was brilliant about him. It's not like Y/n didn't need the table; Lockwood's huge bag was sat on it and taking up most of the space, and her own backpack was on the seat next to her, but suddenly her breath was coming too quickly and her throat was closing up, and the man in front of her looked a little too similar to that one uncle-
"Is everything alright?" Lockwood's voice broke through the silence, and Y/n was annoyed to find herself reaching for him.
"Yeah, we just need this table, but this girl isn't moving."
"Sorry, my girlfriend's pretty tired at the moment, what with agents being in high demand right now. How about if we share? I think she needs a nap, poor thing, and we've got rather a lot of luggage between the two of us. I'll move over her side, shall I? Then you can take the other- yes, hello, little one." One of the couples' children had been tugging on Lockwood's hand, and Y/n could see the man's posture relax the more Lockwood talked, watching as her fake-boyfriend picked up the small child with ease and planted him on the train seat. The other two followed quickly, glad to not be on their feet any longer, and Lockwood came to sit next to Y/n, pulling his bag closer to them on the table and shoving her backpack onto the floor between everyone's legs. "See, you three all fit there perfectly don't you! You're only small," Lockwood was saying to the children, not yet noticing Y/n's shaky state. Their parents seemed to be content with the arrangement, taking their own seats across the aisle where they could watch their kids, and through the slight haze covering her eyes Y/n could see them visibly relax.
Once everybody was settled, Lockwood shuffled around in his seat trying to get comfortable, and when his elbow accidentally jabbed into Y/n's side he frowned at her.
"You alright?" he whispered, not wanting to draw the attention of their new companions. She took a moment to reply, not quite registering that Lockwood had actually said anything.
"Hmm? Oh, yeah. I'm fine."
"Right... just- you didn't say anything when I elbowed you just then and I'm worried you might be having a stroke."
"I'm not having a stroke, you idiot," she said, glare appearing on her face. She had some much better names for him, but with three children under the age of ten in front of her, she figured she should stick to the more family-friendly ones. Lockwood smiled, bright and wide and far too blinding.
"That's better." Apparently he had forgotten about the mishap on the platform earlier, and his previous ignorance of her presence, because after that he launched into a whole spiel of what their plan would be.
"Actually," she interrupted, not caring that he looked annoyed, "I've had a lot of time to figure this out. I just need you to confirm or come up with something better on a few things and we should be fine."
"Alright then, what's your grand plan?"
"Well we already know most of the basic stuff about each other, what with living together for nearly three years, so that solves that problem. One thing I did think of was family, since neither of us have actually..." she trailed off, unsure where the two of them stood on that subject given what had happened earlier. Lockwood was only nodding, his brow furrowed.
"Come to think of it, you've never really mentioned your family much," he said.
Y/n shrugged. "I just don't... you know... I just don't..." she flailed her hands around in front of her for a few moments, trying to come up with the right words.
"I don't know," Lockwood replied coolly, "Should I?"
"I just thought I'd tell you about who's gonna be there today, which is my mum and dad, my four brothers, my sister, my Aunt Linda, and her daughter Stephanie. Oh, and my grandparents on my mother's side, but they'll probably be in bed by the time we get there."
"That's... a lot of people."
"Yeah. There'll be more for the party tomorrow, and then the day after will be the same group from today again, and we're leaving that day anyway."
"Okay... what about names?"
"My mum is called Emma, my dad is Ben, my brothers are Sam, John, William, and Tom from oldest to youngest, and then my sister is called Olivia. My Grandma is Jean and my Gramps is Richard."
"Right." Lockwood paused for a moment, reciting the names under his breath. "Anything else I should know?"
"Aunt Linda and Steph are gonna be the worst, since they always try and make life miserable for me. They're ridiculously rich and like making fun of my job- oh, yeah, barely anybody supports my life choices or my job as an agent, so just prepare for that. Uh, where was I? Oh yeah, Steph and Linda will try and find out anything that could be used against us, so I really hope you can act because otherwise they'll figure this whole thing out in seconds."
"Wait-"
"And my brother Will is the most supportive, 'cause he knows that there are options for work after my Talent fades and I'm not going to be out on the streets-"
"Y/n-"
"-and he, John and Sam all play rugby so try not to piss them off because they're twice your size and will snap you like a twig-"
"Y/n!"
"What?!"
"You need to slow down! Go back to the part about your family not supporting your job?"
"Oh, there's not much to it, really." She felt awkward now, his gaze far too sharp for her liking. If he knew the full extent of how much she didn't like her family, he would waste no time in using it to make fun of her and take the upper hand while he could, and she would be left to sink further into herself until she disappeared. "They just don't think I'll have many options, so they want me to think about my next steps."
"Okay..." Lockwood trailed off, getting distracted by something the children were talking about and being asked his opinion on starfish. He looked as though he was about to start conversing with her again, but the train pulled into the platform they needed, and Lockwood was all business getting the luggage out safely.
~~~
"Are you alright?"
Y/n jumped a little in the back of the taxi, not expecting Lockwood's voice so close to her ear. "Yeah, I'm fine, why?"
"You're very bouncy. If you're fine then could you not? You're jolting me."
Why had she thought he was trying to be nice? She should have known better by now that he wouldn't ever be that way with her, but it still stung.
Truthfully, she was on the verge of tears.
She wouldn't ever tell Lockwood that, of course, because how could he understand? He seemed to walk into any situation effortlessly, with endless optimism and charm that made life easy for him. Y/n was stuck panicking about seeing her family again, because if she couldn't even stand up to some random strangers on the train, how was she ever going to stand up to her family? No, she would just have to do her best to hide everything from Lockwood, to reduce the amount of blackmail material he would have against her.
~~~
The taxi pulled up outside the large cottage-style house, and Lockwood let out a low whistle.
"L/n, you never said your family was this fancy."
"They aren't. It was my Grandma's house, then she got dodgy knees and never moved out, and we moved in after selling up our old place to look after her and Gramps. We're about as fancy as your family, Lockwood, in that we too have multiple mortgages on this building to keep it."
"Anthony."
"What?" Y/n frowned, not sure what he was talking about.
"If we're going to pretend that we're dating, you probably shouldn't be calling me by my last name."
"Oh." She hadn't thought about that. The only reason she even knew his first name was because it was in large print on the sign outside the house, since it was generally accepted that he went by Lockwood and that was that.
"Or you could use some sort of nickname. I've got a few for you if you'd like to hear them." The grin on his face made Y/n think that she really didn't want to hear them, but he opened his mouth again anyway. "How about Sugarplum?" Y/n got out the car, slamming the door shut on him a little more harshly than she needed to. "Snookums? I think you look like a Snookums." The taxi driver was giving the two of them strange looks as he unloaded their bags, but Y/n ignored Lockwo- Anthony (she would have to get used to that) and handed over the money for the drive. "What about Sun Beam? Actually, you're too grumpy for that one. Oh, I know! My personal favourite," he paused for some sort of dramatic effect, being left behind on the driveway as Y/n stomped towards the front door. "Schmoopie."
Y/n stopped suddenly, turning to look back at her fake boyfriend with an incredulous look on her face. "Schmoopie?" He looked far too proud of himself as he picked up his bag and caught up with her, and she resisted the urge to hit him.
"Don't you like it, Schmoopie?"
"Call me that again and I'll be chucking your Source in the furnaces within the week." Lockwood (Anthony - she really needed to start calling him Anthony or she'd be saying 'Lockwood' to her family) Can't you just use my name? Or, you know, a more generic pet name?"
"Fine. You're very boring, I hope you know that."
"Sure. Just swear to me you'll never call me 'Schmoopie' again." She said the word with disgust, scrunching her nose up and fighting the urge to gag.
"Whatever you want, darling." That wasn't much better, but at least it was normal. Y/n raised her hand to knock, but before she could the door was being flung open, revealing a woman in a very festive jumper.
"You're here! She's here!"
~~~
Lockwood stood back slightly as the woman wrapped her arms around Y/n, squeezing so tightly he feared for his colleague's spine.
He braced himself for a similar treatment when she pulled back and spotted him, and the next thing he knew he was close to being suffocated as she brought him into a hug. Lockwood held his breath, his eyes wide and arms stuck out to the side as he tried to figure out what the hell he was meant to be doing. He hadn't been hugged like this since, well, since Jess. It took him a few seconds to work out that he needed to reciprocate the hug, but once he had, god. Why was he choking up? He could feel Y/n's eyes on him, so he shut his own and basked in the feeling of actually being held.
"You must be the boyfriend!" the woman said, pulling back and holding him by the forearms.
"Mum! Please don't terrify him!"
So this was Emma L/n, Y/n's mother.
"Yes, it's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs L/n." He flashed one of his winning smiles, and he could see her visibly relaxing.
"Oh Emma, please!" She looked back over her shoulder at Y/n, mouthing (incredibly non-subtly) 'He's handsome!'
"Mum!" Y/n hissed, starting to turn red.
"What's your name then young man!"
"Anthony Lockwood," he replied, and took particular pleasure in seeing Y/n squirm in the background.
"Well, you'd better come in. Do you need help with the bags?"
"Oh, no, I've got them," he assured her, shouldering his large bag and reaching for the suitcase handle that Y/n was currently holding onto. She didn't relent for a moment, and they had a silent argument for control of the suitcase until eventually with a small tug he won, stumbling ever so slightly from the effort.
"Everything alright?" Emma asked, frowning at the two of them.
"Yes, perfectly fine!" Lockwood called back, shooting a glare at Y/n. She reciprocated, clenching her jaw at his smug smile that came afterwards. He moved inside the house, Y/n following shortly behind and closing the door to keep the warmth in.
"Where should we put our bags?" Y/n asked her mother.
~~~
They had a problem.
A very large problem.
"Well I'm not sharing with you," Lockwood said, moving further into the room that Y/n's mother had shown them to.
"Good," she said, eyeing the double bed. "Just don't complain when your back gives in from sleeping on the floor for so long."
"What? No, I'm taking the bed."
"It's my family home, what gives you more reason to have the bed than me?"
"I'm your boss, and I pay your wages. If you want to keep being paid then I'm having the bed."
Y/n scoffed, shaking her head. "Arsehole," she muttered, going over to the windows and closing the curtains against the now-dark sky outside. The bed was definitely large enough for two people to share, but when those two people hated each others' guts and weren't actually dating, the bed was far too small.
"What was that?"
"Arsehole," she repeated loudly, making sure to look him dead in the eyes when she did so, then immediately turning and heading into the en-suite bathroom.
"What is your issue with me?" he said, following after her.
"You're taking the bed! It's my fucking house!"
"Let's not forget that without me, you would be in a lot more of a tricky situation! I think I deserve the bed for my efforts; it's not easy pretending to love you, you know!"
"Oh, like it's so easy to love you?! You are so horrible to me, all the time, and now I have to pretend to actually want to be with you?! I'd have been in a difficult situation anyway, the only difference is that in this one, I have a fake boyfriend. I could deal with the humiliation of not having anyone with me, but this?" she laughed bitterly. "This is near to being beyond me, Lockwood." Fuck, why was she tearing up? She closed the bathroom door firmly in Lockwood's face, ignoring the shocked expression on his face in the second before he disappeared from her view.
She pushed the lock, waiting for the click before turning and facing the sink, bracing her hands on the edge and heaving a few deep breaths. She hadn't realised how hard it would be to pretend that she was completely fine around her family while they picked and prodded and commented and made snide remarks, and having Lockwood around was only making it worse.
She couldn't even begin to imagine all the things he would use as ammunition in the future. He'd have a field day on this holiday, taking all of her family's words and turning them against her, becoming even worse than he had been before.
A knock sounded on the door, light and unsure, and Lockwood's voice followed afterwards. "...Y/n? I- I'm-" he sighed, and she could imagine him clenching his jaw and looking up at the ceiling as he tried to fight against the nice words he was clearly trying to say. "I have a shit sleep schedule anyway, and you go to sleep a lot faster than I do so it's better for me to sit in a chair when I can't get to sleep and you can lie down, so... yeah." Y/n was surprised at how kind he was, and was starting to wonder if he was having some sort of stroke. But then he started talking again and she knew that he was completely fine.
"If you could not take for fucking ever in the bathroom though that would be great, because I really need a piss."
~~~
"Ah, there you both are! You took your time putting your bags away!" Linda's gaze drifted to Y/n as she said that, eyes sharpening and making the back of Y/n's neck prickle.
"Oh, that's my fault, sorry," Lockwood started, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her in. Y/n stiffened, not used to being so close to him, and tried to force a smile onto her face. "I got carried away asking questions about the photos around the room, and I think I might have driven her slightly mad." He was smiling so widely and cheerfully that Y/n could practically feel everybody relaxing and warming up to him. It was frustrating, really, how they had known him for roughly ten seconds and already seemed to like him more than her. Her brothers were eyeing him up, trying to figure out whether they needed to take him outside or just give him a good talking to. Her sister Olivia was also eyeing Lockwood up, but in a very different way to their brothers that was making Y/n somewhat uncomfortable. It wasn't that they didn't get on and that was what was wrong, but they were sisters, and therefore they naturally disagreed on some things.
Apparently Lockwood's level of attractiveness was one of them.
"Oh, not to worry," her mother said, already loving having Lockwood here. "I made tea, if you'd like some? There's cake too, and far too much of it, so take as much as you want!"
"Tea would be lovely, Emma, thank you," Lockwood said, moving his arm away from Y/n's shoulders. She nearly jumped out of her skin in shock when she felt his hand land on her lower back instead, pushing her forward towards the empty loveseat that sat closest to the roaring fire. "Try not to look quite so horrified at this whole thing, darling," he whispered right into her ear, emphasising the pet name. "And maybe relax a little too, yeah?" He sat down on the chair, leaving very little room for Y/n to sit down herself without pressing up against him. She gave up trying to keep space between them when she ended up perching on the edge and gained strange looks from everyone else. Lockwood pulled her back towards him, grabbing her waist with both hands and tugging until she was right up against his chest, their thighs pressed together. He didn't let go, keeping his arms around her and nestling his head in the crook of her neck. She hadn't loosened up since walking in to the living room, and she was entirely sure that her spine was as stiff as one of the wooden floorboards under her feet. Her mother handed over two mugs of tea, placing them on the small side table next to their chair, then went to cut two slices of cake, starting with Lockwood's. He accepted his plate gratefully, smiling brightly up at her.
"How big of a slice, Y/n/n?"
"Uh... maybe-"
"Don't give her too big of a slice, she doesn't need that much," Stephanie interrupted, her tone sickly sweet. Y/n froze, and behind her she could feel Lockwood glancing between the two girls, trying to figure out what was happening. Her mother cut a decent sized slice, ignoring her niece's comment and handing the plate to Y/n.
"Did you make this, Emma?" Lock-Anthony (she might just give up trying to correct herself in a minute) asked.
"Oh, yeah, but you know, it's not my best."
"Well I think it's delicious, you'll have to share the recipe with me so I can have more of it back in London!"
"I'd be happy to! Do you bake then?"
"Oh, no, I'm awful. I'd burn the house down I'm sure. But our friend George is a magician in the kitchen."
"Remind me what you do for work again?" her father asked.
"Actually, maybe you could just... tell us. Since we know nothing about you!" Linda laughed. "We don't even know your name!"
"Anthony Lockwood," he said, yet another of his classic Lockwood smiles taking over his face. Y/n was starting to feel sick from the way Stephanie and Linda were watching them, and she put her fork down on her plate. "Y/n hasn't mentioned me much then?"
"No," Linda simpered. "I have to say, I was very surprised when I heard my sister say that Y/n had a boyfriend. I'm even more surprised that you actually exist!"
"I can't really blame her for not saying anything, I suppose. We're very busy a lot of the time and when we are free I'm often dragging her out on dates and the like, so if you haven't heard from her then that's entirely my fault." God, how was he such a good liar? Everybody believed him right away, but if she tried to get away with something like that they'd be asking so many questions she would give up and tell the truth.
"And... what is it you do for work?" her father asked again, desperate for the answer.
"I'm an agent."
"Fittes or Rotwell?"
"Uh... no, I-"
"Bunchurch then? Or maybe Grimble?"
"Actually," Lockwood glanced at Y/n, and she nodded slightly, bracing herself for her family's reaction. "I run my own agency. George, who I mentioned earlier, is our researcher, Lucy is our Listener, Holly our secretary, and then of course there's Y/n. Best Touch in England." He squeezed her slightly, and when she looked back at him he was smiling up at her so adoringly that she wondered how she ever hated him.
Then he jabbed her side, making her wobble and nearly spill the tea that she'd just picked up, and she remembered that he was a dick.
"Your... own... agency?"
"Yes." Lockwood didn't seem perturbed, which was lucky, because Y/n was feeling increasingly more unsettled with every second that passed. "We're based in London in my family home, but we take clients from all around England."
"Right... so that makes you Y/n's... boss?"
"I know it's not... the usual, but there is nothing that says we cannot be in a relationship. Believe me, I've checked. I don't think there is anything that could have been done to stop me from falling for your daughter, sir, despite her own best efforts, and I like to think that I keep my role as her boss completely separate from my role as her boyfriend."
Y/n stared at him in mild shock, not quite believing how sincere he sounded, and Lockwood was refusing to look at her.
Uneasy glances were exchanged by nearly all of Y/n's gathered family members, the only exceptions being Will, who had always supported Y/n, and Olivia, who was too busy checking Lockwood out. Y/n put her plate of cake down, having spent the last few minutes picking at it and barely eating any, and ignored the look that Lockwood gave her. She wasn't feeling hungry at all now that she was surrounded by everyone, and Stephanie was watching every move she made with terrifying intensity. No doubt there would be some fresh insults this year, and Y/n couldn't wait to be back home again.
Home.
Since when had she considered Lockwood's house her home?
"You alright?" Lockwood whispered in her ear. He kept asking her that, and it was freaking her out a little.
"Yeah, I'm fine." She stood up, gently detaching herself from Lockwood's grip and putting her mug of tea on the side table, half drunk. "Just need the loo, be back in a bit." She tried smiling at everyone, but the water gathering in her eyes made it difficult to pretend that she was actually fine, and she left the room finding it hard to breathe. Y/n headed up the stairs and into the bathroom attached to the room that she and Lockwood were staying in, and for the second time that day braced herself on the sink as she tried to regain control of her body. "Fuck," she muttered. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." She splashed some cold water on her face, holding it against her skin in the hopes that it would shock her back into being alright again, then turned off the tap and sat on the floor, her back to the sink and her legs stretched out in front.
Only two more days to go, and then she could go back to her normal life.
Two more days of this, and she was free, and could eat as much cake as she wanted, because George and Lucy would be stuffing their faces too.
She just had to fake it until then.
part 3
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Tag list: @ahead-fullofdreams, @anathemaloren, @augustisintheair, @avdiobliss, @aysha4life, @briar-rose23, @curseofhecate, @dangelnleif, @el-de-phi, @ell0ra-br3kk3r, @informedimagining, @karensirkobabes, @locklyebrainrot, @locknco, @mentallyillsodapop (I just realised I hadn't added you I'm so sorry 😭 although I don't know if you wanted to be added actually idkkk) @mischivana, @mitskiswift99, @mrsklockwood, @mrsyixingunicorn10, @no-morning-glories, @novelizt, @ran23sblog, @superpositvecloudshipper, @t2sh0, @taygrls, @tournesol77, @whenselenefallsinlove, @wordsarelife
please let me know if I've missed you off the series tag list, and I'll put you right on! <3
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donutz · 17 days
Text
— *🎩 Mach x reader headcanons!!
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Mach x reader headcanons
— Before relationship
She enjoys your company
Why wouldn’t she?
Other than Pilby, she doesn’t really have anybody else to talk to
Minus family members
You’re a very entertaining person
“Do you use your banhammer to exercise?”
“... No.”
“Oh, so you use just normal exercising equipment?”
“No.”
“...”
She finds your conversation starters to be interesting
Because of her tall height(excluding her hat) she enjoys how small you are to her
Unless you’re her exact height or taller than her, seeing you all tiny makes her… She doesn’t know— Powerful? Yeah, maybe it makes her feel powerful.
She doesn’t feel that way with Pilby, so why is it different with you?
She really appreciates you respecting her boundaries
If you’re more of a touchy person, she can visibly see you trying not to hug her
When she sees this happening, she’ll open up her arms and say, “Here.” As if she’s inviting you to hug her
You run into her arms, all giddy and cheery
As she’s slightly blushing
Making her cold tempered body, more warm rather than chilly
Hm.
Physical affection with you makes her feel vulnerable, especially in a public setting, which is less likely to happen.
Her favorite part of physical touch with you is holding hands
If you’re smaller than her, she likes the size comparison between your hand and hers
Holding and hugging you is… Nice. She enjoys your company.
— In Love
She notices how her slow beating heart beats a little faster when she sees you
Strange.
That’s never happened before.
Not even in wars or battles.
What a strange person you are.
Seeing you happy makes her happy, and seeing you sad makes her sad.
She sometimes catches herself internally happy at you being overly excited
She doesn’t catch herself smiling, no, because it’s kind of.. Impossible.
Or I guess, within my view, out of character.
She writes it down in her very much personal journal
Lately over the days, she’s been writing about you.
Well why shouldn’t she? You make her feel something new almost everyday!
She’s chuckled at your behavior, hugged you, thought about you quite a lot and— Oh my the list goes on!
She’s even told Pilby about you
They very much appreciate Mach telling them such things, and are happy for her
But- Pilby let one thing slip between their lips
And that thing is…
You like Mach too!
Mach went silent, staring at Pilby for a good five seconds
Before she notices Pilby starting to cry.
She reassures them, saying that it was okay
That she’ll go to you to make sure Pilby was right
Pilby just stood there, worried and disappointed in themselves for letting out such a personal secret.
Pilby my baby :O(
— Confessing..♡︎
A letter, no, maybe words?
Though, actions do speak louder than words.
I think they’d find it more serious if I spoke it myself.
Mach takes you to her office to, “Discuss a topic”.
“I, myself, have considered something about you. A feeling. A feeling that makes me feel warm and happy.”
“...”
“That feeling is one I’ve never felt before. I enjoy your company and your nonexistence causes me worry at times.”
“Though you might have figured it out already, my feelings for you are immense. In words that may be hard to say, I love you.”
Hearing those words really made you go silent. Even if your feelings were the same, saying words wasn’t available.
“... Your silence tells me that you are surprised.”
“Oh— Sorry! I do return your feelings!! I was just taken off guard…”
Hearing your words makes my eyebrows raise, and the muscles within my jaw slightly part my lips.
You stare at her, worried you’d put her in a state of shock or something.
“I. Appreciate your reciprocated feelings..” Mach turns her head away when she sees your clueless expression.
I let out a breath, collecting the courage to ask, “Would you.. Like to receive the label as “My partner”?”
You smile at her nervousness, “Ya! Would you like to be my—”
She hugs you, hiding her face away from your view
“Yes. I do.”
It seems she’s too shy to hear the word, “Girlfriend”.
— Together <3
It’s… Awkward between you two.
It doesn’t really seem awkward for Mach, but you’re even more nervous around her presence, as if you two were just strangers!
But you don’t avoid her of course, why would you do that?
Mach enjoys quality time, physical touch isn’t her strong suit— But for you she doesn’t mind♡︎
Most of the quality time you two spend together is you checking out the obbies she creates
If you want to try them, she slightly hesitates but says yes
She watches over you very carefully, making sure to catch you the second after you fall
She’ll never get disappointed at you failing to complete her obbies
At first she doesn’t turn on the fire wall, but if you’re up for a challenge, she turns it on.
She’s smiled at you enjoying her obby many times
If you do complete it, she instantly praises you and talks about your skills
Her favorite times is when you both are watching other players play her obby
She does enjoy cuddling with you, quite a lot actually.
Doesn’t matter if you’re bigger than her, she’s the big spoon
Looking at you sleeping so peacefully is like listening to cat purrs, calming.
Though she doesn’t sleep much, you sleeping somehow convinces her brain to shut off(half of it) for a few hours
If you struggle with sleeping, she’s always there to comfort you
Insomniac? Hey, that’s probably her too
She really can’t judge
She’d never judge you
Most likely anyways, it depends on the situation.
Baking is an activity that she loves to see you do specifically, but baking with you just might be even better.
“Oh— You have some frosting on yer nose!”
She looks at you,
You gesture to lean her head down, as she is quite the tall woman
You lightly grab her face, using your thumb to wipe off the frosting
Then giving her nose a kiss
“There!”
You go back to whipping the frosting, as Mach stands there.
She also goes back to whipping the frosting, looking at the ground so you don’t see her very much red face.
A/N|| I apologize if this is ooc! I was looking at Mach's interaction dialogue and found out she wasn't as serious as I thought.. (-ω-、)
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drizztdohurtin · 22 days
Text
Rolan Headcanons: Fatherhood
pairing: Rolan x afab!reader (use of she/her pronouns)
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〚 Masterlist | WIP List 〛
-MDNI-
Warnings:
fluff and angst
gonna tag my beloved Cherry again (@viennacherries) bc we've discussed so many of these headcanons privately and I want to throw her some credit for any of her ideas that have seeped into my brain and bled into this post <33
Suggested pre-reads: tiefling hcs | tiefling purring hcs | deciding to start a family with Rolan | pregnancy hcs
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Fatherhood
even as a full-time member of Rolan nation, and a certified connoisseur of Rolan content - I still can't decide how many kids he would have
I can see him having only one - this, in my brain, is for very angsty reasons
I can also see him having two, and that is probably what I lean toward the most
and I can see him having three because I love the idea of him being overwhelmed by his 3 tiny little tiefling babies running around screeching and pulling each other's tails
I'm a 'Rolan's firstborn is a boy' truther (I have spent hundreds of hours thinking about this)
I'll still use gender-neutral terms for this post in case anyone disagrees
BUT !! I need you to hear me out... I really like writing him as having a boy first because it gives me an opportunity to give him this little character arc
please check out this post about 'Rolan's first day as a dad' that I initially wrote for this post but then it got too long and turned into a blurb so I posted it separately
so while I think that Rolan would react the same whether he had a boy or girl (seeing them as perfect and making him realize that what he sees as perfection, his parents saw as abandonable), I particularly like the idea of his first being a boy because his son would be a perfect reflection of himself when he was a baby
then he'd be seeing exactly what his parents saw when they abandoned him
his love for his son helps him find more love for himself - helps him find more healing from his childhood
becoming a father is what would finally make him realize that the issue was never with him, it was always with his birth parents - no matter how many times anyone up to this point had told him so
he'd also realize that 90% of the intense anxiety he felt about becoming a father during your pregnancy was just a reflection of how much he cared for his baby, and how badly he wanted to do good by both of you
he realized he had been convinced that he was defective - convinced he inherited some gene that would make him a horrible parent
the accumulation of all of these feelings and realizations would overwhelm him a bit at first, and he'd think about it a lot in his moments alone
but being around his baby always made him feel better and like nothing else mattered
He LOVES holding his baby, he is incredibly physically affectionate with them
He is always giving them kisses or gently tracing their features with his thumbs, rubbing/patting their backs, or smoothing down their hair, literally anything
He loves placing gentle kisses on the spot on their forehead between their horns (or where their horns would come in)
He also sometimes rubs his nose against theirs affectionately or softly leans his cheek against their head while he's holding them
He's also fucking obsessed with how his baby smells (as are most parents), so he can be seen smelling the top of their head multiple times per day
Gets cuteness aggression (internally) often, especially when he's holding them close to his chest and he can smell them and they're making the cutest little noises and have his clothing balled up in their tiny little baby fists and he just is like kfdfshfasdfdffffff fuck this is the most perfect thing on the planet
Rolan would carry the baby around constantly if you let him
he'd get those body wraps that allow him to him the baby hands-free so that he can go about his work in the tower but also have his baby with him at all times
honestly, he'd get a few of them so that he always had one to match whatever robes he was wearing that day
yes it's hands-free but he'd still almost always have a comforting hand rubbing or patting his baby's back - ducking down to place kisses on their head idly as he read through books or mail
Rolan always had a habit of talking to himself while he's trying to mull things over in his office - and now that he has a baby he'll occasionally be met with a babbling response
like imagine him alone in his office reading over a paper, thinking about it out loud as he paces, gently bounces the baby on his chest, until he hears little babbling sounds - and he says some shit like, "Ah, yes, good point."
he won't make a sound if his baby's sleeping, though, and he'd speak in a gentle whisper if anyone came into the room to talk to him
He'd also read everything out loud when they're awake
and they always look at him with the utmost intrigue, their little yellow eyes wide and glimmering, their mouth hanging open slightly
he's just one of those parents who's always talking to their child - knowing how stimulating it is for babies, even when they don't know what you're saying
for example, he'll read books and papers out loud to them, and whenever he notices them watching his actions he'll explain what he's doing, especially if he's cooking
While his baby is still a baby, he takes time to refine the skills he learned when he was young and had to care for Cal and Lia - revising his healing spells and ensuring he still remembered how to mend tears in clothing
Rolan is a very anxious and protective father, only trusting a select few to touch/hold them or care for them when he's not there
although he tries to protect them from everything he possibly can, some things are unavoidable
He dreaded the day his child's horns would start coming in and once it finally started, it was the most difficult week of his life
most of the days were hell, his baby so uncomfortable that all they could do was scream and cry - and Rolan was there every second of it
in the worst moments, all he could do was hold them close and focus on providing the rumbling at the top of his chest that normally worked so well to comfort them
sometimes he'd cry with them, his chest tightening at seeing his poor infant trembling through their sobs, clutching the fabric of his clothes tightly in their fists
he did everything he could think of to try to relieve his child's pain - he'd hold an ice pack to their head, he'd attempt to get them to eat, and he'd try healing spells even though they don't really work that way
he had to sit with the guilt of not being able to help his little love as their cries pleaded for him to make it all stop
the child wasn't only in pain, they were also exhausted from crying and from a lack of sleep - which really only made it all worse, like a never-ending cycle
there was only one day he barely had to worry about it, the discomfort finally giving his child a break - allowing them to rest comfortably and smile and laugh throughout the day
and once it was all over, he can't remember the last time he felt such relief
raising his kid in the tower turns out to be the most stress-inducing thing ever, and strongly considers buying a house for you all to live in instead
Rolan's protectiveness and general anxiety over his child would start to manifest as strictness once his firstborn was a bit older
he'd be quite stern with them, and he doesn't really mean to be - he's just so concerned about his child's safety
He's literally so scared of something happening to them their entire life - but at least when they're a baby he can actually protect them
But he knows he has to give his child freedom as they grow, and that's when the paternal worry really sinks its claws into him
He wouldn't be strict in a way that pushes his child away from him, though
he'd always make sure to tell and show his kids how much he loves them - he could never be a dad who refuses to show any emotion to his kids
Because of that, he'd actually do a really good job of building enough trust with his child to the point where they can go to him for anything
His kid(s) know they can go to him with anything, and he won't punish them for telling the truth
Lowkey one of those parents that's like "You're not allowed to drink under the legal age but if you're going to do it, do it at home"
"I'm not saying that it's okay to do, I'm just saying if you're going to do something stupid, then at least do your mother and I a favor and do it as safely as you can."
Rolan loves being a father so much
and despite how actually insane toddlers are, that stage of life is probably his favorite when it comes to his kid(s) because it's the only stage where they have both the perks of babies and slightly older children
They can finally understand and use language, they have their own preferences and opinions, and they can run around and play, like older kids
But they're still small, and they need more sleep than older kids, and they still drink milk and need to be rocked to sleep, like babies
It probably also helps that he is incredibly patient with his kids, rarely ever losing his composure with them
His favorite nights are when he puts his toddler to bed - when he gets to put them in their soft little onesie and talk to them about their day before he reads them to sleep in his arms
But this is a toddler we're talking about, and they get crazy sometimes, especially before bed
there's one night when his child still had pent-up energy from the day, and Rolan knew it would be hard to get them to go to bed willingly
When he brought his child into their room, shut the door, and set them down, they immediately started running around and trying to play with toys
Rolan tried his best to get his wriggly toddler to sit still so that he could get them out of their day clothes, change their diaper, and put on their pj's
he got as far as putting on a clean diaper before his child wiggled out of his hands and started running around
he was often able to reason with his child, but on this particular night, despite his best efforts, it did not work
he stood up, staring at his tiny little tiefling where they stood on the other side of the room with the goofiest smiles on their face
his often serious face cracked a smile before he ran towards his baby with arms outstretched, pretending he was going to catch them
his child shrieked with laughter, beginning to sprint around the room, avoiding their father's outstretched arms
Rolan chased them around like that for minutes, utterly in love with the loud, mischievous chortles erupting from his baby until, eventually, they let him catch them
with a playful roar, Rolan would hoist his baby up in the air above his head as he made his way back over to the changing station
He lowered his child with a bunch of wild, sloppy kisses to their cheeks as he lowered them to lay down, before deciding to get one last laugh out of them
he'd duck his head and start blowing raspberries onto their big ol' baby belly, gently tickling their sides with his fingers - laughing along with his child's loud, gurgly shrieks of joy
He would always remember how hard they laughed that night, along with the pure joy that had been plastered on his baby's face the whole night
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snakeredbirdbatkatana · 2 months
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(Opinions Guys Idk)
Bruce Wayne has been a father for over ten years.
He's delt with any issue children vomiting on his shoes runny noses tears he's got you.
He's also buried his children been covered in their blood helped calm down panic attacks. He might not be the best but he's always tried.
There is however one tiny thing that he can say he's never prepared for no amount of contingencies ever can make him ready.
Any form of high society interaction with Tim.
Watching his third son with a smirk that's deadly convincing the richest to give practically all they have to him.
Manipulating board members, blackmailing politicians.
He looks so much like his mother.
Bruce sees his other children they look uncomfortable he once watched Stephanie yell at Tim that she doesn't understand him that he's horrible for doing it.
Jason calling him a rich prick which he was grounded for not that it has ever stopped his second son.
Another gala happened tonight the entire family was present and now watching once again all of his children even sweet Dickie lecturing Tim.
"Seriously Timmy it's just a little much don't you think"
"Boy Wonder that was disgusting who taught you to act like that"
"Timbers I'm all for fucking with people but what the fuck"
He sees the heartbreak painting Red Robin's face he can feel his own reflect it.
His tiny little sweetheart who learned at his mothers knee, his baby boy who works so hard for the company. Who's done tremendous things the only one of them to actually get the respect of the people of Gotham he can't watch it.
"That's enough," Growls out of him.
All of his children freeze looking at him Damian who has remained quiet looking at his brother with nothing but respect turns hurt masked.
"Your brother did amazing tonight, in a way this was an oversight on my part none of you were specifically trained how to act around the Gotham elite. Tim was raised by Janet Drake who was known as the dragon of Gotham".
They start to shift confusion practically pouring out of them.
He looks straight at Tim as he walks forward placing his hand on his shoulder.
" I might not alway agree with how your mother raised you I wish she did a lot differently sweetheart."
A sharp smile begins to paint both Tim's and Damian's faces.
They understand that he is speaking to both of them the only two to really understand.
"But she raised you to know that power that you hold to be able to rule which isn't something I could your siblings are wrong." He turns to glare especially at Stephanie and Jason.
"I'm not saying what you did is right morally it can be questionable however you both know what to do in situations like that experience that none of your siblings could ever have."
He breathes knowing he might anger his children throwing in their faces that they weren't born with silver spoons they have to fight and claw to be where they are.
"This is both Damian and Tim's territory neither are going into crime alley or the narrows and telling you what to do. You don't get to complain about how they were raised or how they handle situations you have no prior knowledge of." He sees that at least Dick is understanding a light entering his eyes
----------------
So this is the beggining of a story kinda talking about the difference between how Damian and Tim were raised compared to everyone else.
This was something me and a mutual have been working on but we are disagreeing about it.
They think it's fine I don't know.
Could I get opinions because I personally think it is fascinating how Tim is raised versus others not in a negative or positive.
However I think the way we have done some of it mind you this is almost a twenty chapter fanfiction. Might be slightly not good.
I wanted to explain how Tim and Damian would have an advantage their mother raised badass sons who know how powerful they can be.
They were raised rich and with the world at their fingertips but I think we made it sounds very bashy I need thoughts please let me know.
This is only not even a chapter but I wanted to give something of reference.
I think the privilege is slightly too heavy handed and it makes it sounds like the Rich are better idk. 
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cocogum · 1 month
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Let’s talk about episodes 7 and 8….
(‼️SEASON 4 SPOILERS‼️)
.
.
.
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.
.
Oh boy.
We got a lot to unpack.
We start with when we last finished off in episode 6.
Eva properly gets to speak with her father Madagaskan while the others are right behind her, listening intently to them.
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AND MY GOD THE EXPOSITION WAS SO GOOD.
(Good for us, not for Eva tho lol)
The fact that she and Cleophee come from the most infamous assassin’s guild is WILD. You’re telling me that its members are so good at what they do that the rulers of the world buy their offers as fast as possible cuz they’re scared that the guild could ruin them if they go to the opposite team?? That just SCREAMS how important and secretive they are!! (plus we also saw a glimpse of what one of them, freaking Madagaskan, was able to do with just rocks). But it does explain why Eva has such a good eye for combat. I can also see where Cleophee takes her hair from too. From what Madagaskan has said about Eva personally, she looks identical to her mother. (I already headcanon that Cleophee took her looks from her dad instead 🥰).
But what surprised me even more was Flopin’s decision to follow Madagaskan. Not only did he want to get taught by him, but he willingly SNEAKED OUT OF THE DAMN HOUSE to go to him!
Also, can I just say how nice it is to see what Elely and Flopin’s bedrooms looked like? I love how we got a good shot of each of their rooms, it completely encapsulates their personalities and how opposite they are to each other!
Just look at how Flopin’s room looks very organized, his books are properly in their places on the bookshelves, and the amount of papers he has. Even his bed was made and you can see how he has a map of the World of Twelve plastered on the wall just on top of his desk.
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Whereas with Elely, her room is completely messy, pillows and clothes are lying around the floor on the left side of the room, her bed is not made, she has a giant tapestry on her wall, some boxing equipment like her gloves and a punching bag (which she drew Poo on it lol that’s a nice detail).
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But Flopin did have a point when he talked to his grandpa. We all knew he was a loser cuz Elely and Pin were doing their own thing. I mean do you remember how exhausting it was to keep seeing Elely having so much spotlight back in season 3? My girl is awesome and all but let her breathe for a second damn.
I’m glad Flopin chose that route for himself even though it was a bit of a surprise to see him want to follow Madagaskan now.
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Ngl he lists out very valid points that even we were thinking about. It just shows that Flopin is very much self-aware of his position in the family and how this makes him look. I had a feeling Flopin would have his own arc but I didn’t think he’d separate himself from his family to have one! Good for him tho but still…
This means he won’t see Elely for a long time and Pin wouldn’t get to know him as much as the rest of the Percedal family….
But at least he’ll have his grandpa 😭😭
*Meanwhile with Ruel*
“HELPING FOSTER CHILDREN IN NEED?!?? 😱😱😱 HELL NAH NOT ON MY WATCH 😡😡😡”
I can’t with this old ass man sometimes I swear 😭😭😭
I just really loved the exposition on Nora’s part where she revealed to Yugo, Adamaï, and Qilby why and how she came to rescue their mother. The colors and the style of it all were so gorgeous and mesmerizing to stare at and it made so much sense. I also noticed how in her explanation, Nora mentioned that it was Efrim who had a special connection to the Eliatrope goddess instead of her like how it was revealed to be the case in the Wakfu volume 4 manga and the Islands of wakfu game. I assumed that Ankama retconned that tiny detail too.
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LESBIAN QUEENS ‼️LESBIAN QUEENS‼️LESBIAN QUEENS‼️ LESBIAN QUEENS‼️LESBIAN QUEENS ‼️
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I just love how realistic all the rulers’ answers have been so far. They’re all skeptical of Yugo and his family and I don’t blame them for thinking like that. It doesn’t matter how kind and helpful Yugo can be to them. As Aurora said, everything about this is too coincidental which is how Armand concluded that there could be a traitor in Yugo’s group. Again, I don’t blame him for saying that since he just got told by Yugo that the portals from the Sadida kingdom and Albuera have a portal, leading to the necrome world, that looks a lot like an eliatrope one.
And of course, Yugo doesn’t hesitate to blame Qilby and already jumps to conclusions way too fast, immediately thinking he’s the traitor since he knows he’s the type to hop from planet to planet, not caring what happens to the places he went to just as long as he got to study them.
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I love this man so much 💕💕✨
But if Yugo actually took a second to process the information, he would know that there was clearly something wrong with his accusation. Because how and where would Qilby have the energy and especially the time for all that? Yugo is completely aware that Qilby got freed by their mother and Nora not a very long time ago. If I had to assume when he was freed, I’d have to say just a bit earlier when Yugo and the others were still in Oropo’s dimension.
Not only that, but since he got freed not too long ago AND was being carefully monitored by Nora, then there was no chance he could have been the traitor. He just got out of the White Dimension (again) so he’d be drained of energy and didn’t have the eliatrope dofus and the Eliacube.
But a very important thing to note here is that Qilby was also joining Nora and the small eliatropes on the missions his mother would send them in which clearly implies that he’s not done with this world yet (he could have been participating only because he was looking for the eliatrope dofus at the time when Adamaï didn’t find them first but if that was the case, then he wouldn’t have stayed and help to fend off against the necromes since he doesn’t like it when other beings pursue him and his people without, ironically, knowing where they are).
With all these in mind, it's safe to say that Yugo’s anger towards Qilby is based on personal issues.
Their fight in the sky was so well choreographed that I just loved every single second of it and how none of their poses were recycled 💖
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If I see this shit in the streets you bet ur ass I’m shitting myself.
Also,
Ankama left us with a cute little gift so unexpectedly that it made me bash my keyboard at the wall. 🥰🥰
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This shot was pulled out of nowhere that it made my heart drop to my feet.
This is the living embodiment of what Yugo’s sleep paralysis demon looks like 💀
One thing’s for sure though.
I’m not ready for the next episode my stomach keeps giving me constipation symptoms just thinking about it.
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anarchy-and-piglins · 1 month
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hi yes hello i heard human!techno and nonhuman!everyone else and came running... whether it's osmp, space au, vampire au (always love rereading tasting your blood means i love you chapters if I forget something) i love this trope it's always so good.
Anyway! Human techno headcanons! I like to think that since a lot of the others living in the commune have claws, they sometimes accidentally nick techno with their claws occasionally (ie, they're really excited and grab his arm a little too tightly *cough tommy) and so he's got all these tiny little scars. And eventually someone notices and asks him about it, but techno doesn't want them to feel bad so he kinda stumbles/lies through the answer because he knows they genuinely mean no harm. Small angst but yk.
Now, say, the commune gets attacked. Some flee, others stay to fight. What's the best way to get the hybrids to stop fighting and draw the others out of hiding? Capture the soft fleshy human and use him as leverage, of course! Cue a small stab or sprain to techno in front of the commune folks to remind them how weak humans can be and how precarious the situation is. Cue the rescue team finding techno tired, hurt, and very reliant on their help to escape. Cue techno thinking of himself as a liability to the safety of the commune and, after his rescue, attempting to leave to keep them safe. (it doesn't work ofc, phil notices almost instantly that one of his fledglings friends is missing and tracks his down and reassures him of his value.)
I'm kinda surprised I haven't written any of these yet considering how much I rotate the trope in my brain but. high school. Oh well.
It's the best trope, the tastiest trope, MY MOST BELOVED TROPE!
The claw thing is so fun. Reminds me of people who have cats and are just covered in scratches all the time hehe. But it's great for a little bit of angst too. Any type of whump having to do with hurting a friend on accident is up my alley. And I can imagine that it's so easy to forget how vulnerable Techno is. Sure, some of the other hybrids have very specific weaknesses too but they seem easier to remember somehow - everybody knows Niki needs to be in water and everybody is automatically careful with Sneeg since he's so tiny. But for some reason with Techno it slips their minds (perhaps also because Techno tries very hard to seem like he doesn't have any weaknesses) that he's rather squishy and has no special powers or hybrid biology to protect himself.
I'd love to read a fic where one or multiple of the other members of the commune accidentally hurt Techno through their hybridness and get to feel really guilty. And obviously Techno would never hold it against them.
AND YES, somebody else using Techno against them is also very fun. I don't think Techno would much enjoy having it pointed out that he's the 'weak link'. He trains so much to overcompensate for all the abilities he's naturally lacking. But his family will knock some sense into him.
I'd eat up either idea really, these are wonderful!
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yoongsisbae · 10 months
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Run Run Run - Seoul Close (Part 5)
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A zombie apocalypse breaks out and you’re stuck on a plane with none other than…BTS! Oh, you thought because you were an Army that would help you survive? Girl think again. OT7 BTS Zombie Apocalypse AU / BTS member x reader slow burn
WELL I'M NOT DEAD. MY CHARACTERS ON THE OTHER HAND...JUST KIDDING. LET ME COPE WITH HUMOR.
Warnings: death, monsters, blood, fighting, killing, gory details, some toxic nationalism, mention of SA-nothing graphic, angst, smut, handjob, fingering, bathtime shenanigans
Word Count: 21.5k (I actually got block limited for the first time on this chapter. I hope the long chapter makes up for the wait!)
---
Run.
Run.
Run.
Keep your back straight, your shoulders relaxed, move your arms, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, and most importantly, don’t trip!
AND RUN!!!
You look back. You expected to see a lot of them, but not this much...
‘It’s gonna okay it’s gonna okay it’s gonna okay,’ you repeat desperately, as long as you keep running!
No time to scream or even cry, you need that energy…
To run!
You hear the labored breaths of the men around you, such a stark contrast from the horrifying growls of the undead behind you, a group of zombies you all had accidently awakened from their mindless ambling.
But there is quite a distance, fortunately. And if you just keep ru-
“Ow,” you grunt. You collided into a back, knocking the wind out of you.
“Wh-” You are silenced at the sight in front of you. There is a hoard of zombies and fresh corpses, the monsters are crouched over the bodies, pulling apart and devouring what remains.
You all stare at the gruesome sight. No words are needed and you are too winded to form proper sentences anyways, so you push the closest person to your left into the grass, which so happened to be BTS leader, Kim Namjoon. 
You keep pushing him until he takes the hint. He yanks on who he can reach too, giving silent orders. ‘RUN THIS WAY!’
If you’re lucky, you can create enough distance between you and the monsters behind you that have already caught a scent of your blood before the preoccupied ones begin to notice you. And if you were really lucky, the former might just give up once they smelled the scraps of someone else’s meal.
Too bad luck is rarely on your side.
The feasting zombies smell a new meal instantly.
Dammit! 
Keep running! 
Run for cover, run into the woods, run as far as you can away from them.
Hongcheon is a fraction of the size of Seoul and yet there are already so many more of them than you had expected. 
So many lives gone. So many families torn apart, hearts broken, young lives cut short…
A city destroyed. 
You don’t have time to cry over it now. Maybe later, when you’re safe, you can think of the children you saw, thirsty for blood, eyes sunken in, tiny bodies brutalized into monstrosities. Later you can agonize over their stolen youth, wonder where their parents are, if they remained a family, feasting together even in death.
Right now, you have to…
Run.
-
“Run over there!”
It hurts to move, to breathe. Your head hurts, your chest hurts, you’re terrified, worried sick, barely able to think, running on adrenaline. Hoseok grabs your hand and pulls you along. It makes you grateful, yet it makes you worry more. He should run ahead of you, you feel like a burden, you feel your heart clench when he squeezes your hand. 
You can’t help but think about the others, even now, you should have cherished those moments more, the smiles and laughter and banter and good times. Taehyung’s jokes, Jungkook’s bored singing, an infectious melody that had the others and even you humming along. Hoseok’s animated retelling of the events at Sutasa temple that the leader and eldest two had missed, making you and the others laugh along, the leader’s slightly impressed and very dismayed expressions and Seokjin whining over his sore feet.  
How wonderful it was when sore feet were the only thing to complain about.
You should have enjoyed those days leading up to reaching Hongcheon city more. When killing zombies felt like a team building exercise. Remember that? Tallying up your kills. Like it was a game, like it wasn’t the worst thing imaginable you had to do to another person, because they were people at one point... 
You look at the scared tired faces of the men around you and think how easy it could be to lose them to the same fate, a tally in a game strangers play not knowing how much love that growling decaying body once held… the jokes they told, the songs they sung, the stories they experienced, the sacrifices they endured…
You should have taken life more seriously, maybe now it wouldn’t feel so abysmal, karma for your blase us vs. them mentality. How stupid, you of all people should know better.
No, it wasn’t you and them, it was you and your future staring back with yellow clouded eyes. You stare back and feel nothing but regret.
And guilt.
And fear.
So you run faster, gulp down hot air, let it burn your lungs and let it sting your belly, because you now know the pain of living is always better than death, always!
You follow the others into the first house you come across where you quickly barricade yourselves in.
One two three four five six…No. 
Namjoon pats you on the shoulder. You almost scream in surprise, but you were trained now to only scream into pillows or under water, places it would be hard for them to hear you, not when you actually wanted to. 
Seokjin is behind him. Seven, eight. 
You all made it. Even Dev. Fuck, you’re actually relieved.
You relax only a little. Everyone looks beyond exhausted. You all need food, you need water. You doubt this small abandoned house has enough of anything for all of you.
There’s black blood on your arms and clothes from where you had to defend yourself from the zombies who came too close. The others have blood on them, and you wished there was more light so you could properly make sure the blood wasn’t theirs. 
“Is everyone okay?” you whisper. No one is just ‘okay,’ but they knew what you meant.
They pull at their clothes, checking their bodies. They all nod. You glare at Dev, and then eye Taehyung who nods again. Now that you’re stationary you realize how sweaty you are, how tired. You fall to your knees, finally able to rest.
Namjoon walks cautiously through the house, making sure the coast is clear and there are no residents remaining, alive or otherwise.
As you rest you listen to doors sliding open, Namjoon’s footsteps as he makes his way through the house. The others are quiet, catching their breaths, holding their bodies against doors, coughing quietly, rubbing their muscles, and of course, listening intently to the sounds outside…
The scratching, clawing, growling…
“Clear. Two Beds.” Namjoon returns.
“I’ll check for food.” Yoongi stands up, wiping the sweat off his forehead.
“I’ll take first watch,” Namjoon says solemnly.
“Me too,” you add. He doesn’t argue with you, even if he does look like he wants to tell you to rest instead.
“Second.” Jimin and Taehyung say in unison.
It’s safe for now. What will it be like once the sun is high again? Better, worse? How long can you keep this up? 
Going through the city might have taken a couple of hours tops in the car, but you didn’t have that now, not even the horses…Those poor horses…
How many days will it take to get out now that you are on foot, you wonder. You can’t even bring yourself to look forward to it either, already imagining how much worse Seoul will be. 
You can’t help but think the situation you’ve put yourselves in is looking rather helpless.
You keep your eyes locked on a small divot in the flooring, trying to stay calm. Even if you had the time now, becoming emotional in this moment would be too dangerous. You have to focus and be ready for anything.
“We made it,” Namjoon whispers, placing his hand on your shoulder. You’re impressed with his optimism, you try not to feel worried, but it's for that exact reason you are so worried. You made it this time, but what about next time? What if something happens to him, what if you never hear those words again? Namjoon just might be all the optimism you have left.
You eat cold portions of canned food Yoongi prepares. 
You’re not mad at him anymore, almost dying has always had that kind of effect on relationships, but when he hands you your portion you still can’t meet his eyes, thinking of the conversation you had before entering the city.
---
“Why did you kiss me?”
“Huh?” Yoongi looks anywhere but in your direction.
Now you’re feeling even more wary. It took Herculean courage for you to even ask, now he’s going to make you ask again?
“Nevermind.”
You walk away from the rapper, back to tending to your horse while the large animals rest. You couldn’t help but notice the rapper has been rather aloof around you, more than usual, since kissing you. You tried not to take it personally, to not feel hurt every time he seemed to quickly shut down any conversation you start with him, but ugh, why did he go and kiss you then if he was just going to act like this?! 
It takes you all morning, right before the group is about to start your travels again, when you confront Yoongi one last time.
“Why did you kiss me?” You mutter, hoping he would respond this time. ‘Just say it was the heat of the moment,’ you think, so you can both move on, get over it. So you can accept it was just a one time thing, a moment of weakness, you would never hold it against Yoongi, but this, the way he’s acting now, you definitely do have a problem with!
Unfortunately, ears whom you hadn’t intended to hear perked up at the new information.
“You kissed y/n?” Hoseok crashes in between the pair of you.
“No, I didn’t!” Yoongi hisses immediately.
“You didn’t?” Hoseok tilts his head.
“He didn’t.” You repeat quietly.
“But you just said-”
“I didn't say that!” you laugh incredulously. “You misheard me. I asked why did he pick me… PICK me, is what I meant.”
“Pick you for what?” Hoseok looks between both of you in disbelief.
“Uhh…” you hesitate, trying to come up with something credible while Yoongi takes the opportunity to scurry away. “Pick me for the um next night shift-”
“He picked you? But you always volunteer,” Hoseok says accusingly.
“Okay, well, this time, I didn’t. And so uh I wanted the night off. Anyways, it doesn’t matter anymore! I don’t care! forget it!” you ramble angrily, making Hoseok back away this time. 
Yoongi waits by the car while you glare at him. He’s definitely ignoring you now, like you’re some deranged saesang, and it’s annoying as hell! He kissed you, didn’t he? Yes, you might have kissed him back, and…
You remember the way you melted into him, Yoongi’s body pressed against yours, the way you chased his lips, how you wanted more. You shouldn’t have done that. You shouldn’t have…liked it so much…dammit! Why did he kiss you?!
Yoongi answers you the next day. “It was a mistake. I’m sorry,” Yoongi whispers to you, bumping into your shoulder. 
You wince. “So you kissed me, by accident?” you ask.
“I shouldn’t have done it. I thought you had died, and, I…I don’t know…” Yoongi looks around anxiously, gaze stopping on Seokjin who is animatedly giving reasons why he shouldn’t have to sit in the back of the car this time.
You grind your teeth. This is the answer you wanted, why do you feel so crestfallen? “I understand.”
“You do?”
You look over at Yoongi. “Yes,” you smile wearily. “How do I say this? I get it, you wouldn’t normally have done that under normal circumstances with someone like me, I just wanted to make sure...” you pause. “So you want to forget it? Okay!” you say resolutely, “I’ll pretend it never happened.” You give him a more confident grin.
Your smile falls when you notice his red ears and tinged cheeks. “Yoongi?”
Yoongi looks like he’s holding his breath, holding something in for sure. “That’s not-” Yoongi cautiously lifts his arm up, knuckles touching the side of your face.
“Yoongi?” you repeat, holding your breath.
He almost looks like he might kiss you again, almost…but he turns his heel and walks back to the car, taking a seat in the back and settling an argument between Jin and Taehyung.
You frown, crossing your arms, you guess he is going to expect you to forget that just happened as well, you sigh, frown deepening. 
Maybe you are being delusional, he answered your question, you should just leave it at that, you think. You have bigger things to worry about.
-
You spent days pushing the car, hoping to find an exit to a gas station. All that energy wasted.
“You’ve been ignoring me.” Yoongi accuses under his breath.
You have not not been doing anything of the sort! You still acknowledge Yoongi’s presence, just like you do that asshole Dev, yeah.
You frown. “You have been acting weird,” you cross your arms. All day every day you can feel Yoongi’s eyes boring into the back of your head when you talk to the others, and yet he refuses to even look in your direction when you get anywhere near him! 
“I have not!”
“Well then I haven’t been ignoring you!”
Yoongi sighs. “Well it's clear to the others something is up between us and that is exactly what I was trying to avoid.”
You narrow your eyes on him. You think you finally understand him, Yoongi was ashamed of kissing you. You want to yell at him, but you can’t…not when you feel something akin to disappointment clawing at your insides, a small voice inside you confirming all your insecurities.
“Why would there be something up? Nothing is up, absolutely nothing,” you frown. 
“Stop.”
“I can’t stop because I haven’t started.”
“You are so annoying sometimes.” His hand holds your jaw, thumb rubbing the dirt away from your face tenderly.
You flinch away, “Is that why you didn’t kiss me?”
“Listen, I just don’t want to burden you-”
“Well, I’m very unburdened, can’t you tell? I mean, what could burden me? I have all the food I could want,” you say sarcastically, “I’m not running from monsters that want to eat me alive and I certainly don't care that you did not kiss me!” you hiss.
Yoongi covers your mouth. “Are you guys okay?” Jungkook says hesitantly, walking up to the pair of you.
Yoongi pulls his hands away as if he were burned. You roll your eyes at him, trying to not focus on the sharp pain in your chest, daggers embedding themselves inside you, each one confirming your worst insecurities. 
“Everything is great, Kookie,” you say, acting sweeter than your usual self, grabbing the youngest and leading him away before either man notices your watery eyes. 
---
“You can rest against me,” Namjoon murmurs, watching as you sway and try to keep your head up as the others sleep.
You laugh softly, “If I do that, I will definitely fall asleep. When I’m close to you, you make me feel safe. And I get sleepy,” you add, yawning. You rest your head on the wall, smiling back when he smiles. “Ahh, see, I can’t look at you,” you shake your head, trying to shake away your tiredness too.
“So you’re not all the way over there because I smell?” Namjoon pulls at your sleeve, trying to coax you closer.
“You smell? Damn, I must smell horrible then.” You sniff your worn and tattered clothes. 
“I saw a well outside, we can take advantage of it tomorrow, get some water to clean ourselves up.”
“A bath?” you wonder out loud, unable to hide your excitement. “Finally,” you sigh.
“Well err it’s gonna have to be a cold bath-”
“Mhm. A bath.” You ignore his warning, nothing can change your excitement. Let it be freezing cold, you will happily soak yourself until your fingers shrivel up.
After a while Namjoon speaks up again. “I think maybe we should stay here for a bit. Once the zombies disperse, we can go out for supplies, maybe scout for a better house to crash.”
“Here, in the city? For how long?”
“Maybe,” he hesitates. “A couple weeks? Or…a couple…months?”
“M-Months?!” you gasp, surprised.
“Look at them.” He gestures to the bodies sleeping on the floor around you, none of them wanted to leave the room for the beds, no one wanted to lose sight of each other. “We need to rest, we need supplies…we need to build ourselves back up.”
“Shouldn’t we, um, get out of Hongcheon first?” you ask worriedly. “I feel like…these monsters here are…different. They seem more relentless, don’t you feel?” you groan, thinking aloud. “Why are they so energetic? We’re the live ones! Shouldn’t it be the other way around?” They seem…well fed, you think, grimacing. “You think it’s a good idea to stay?”
“I don’t know.” Namjoon looks around anxiously at his friends, worried for their safety. “I don’t know.”
“Okay,” you whisper, reaching for his hand, you stroke his knuckles soothingly, deciding to follow Namjoon’s plan. “We’ll stay here for a while, and take it day by day. As long as we’re together, that’s what is most important, right?”
Namjoon lets out the breath he was holding, relaxing now that he had your support. In truth, he was too scared to move forward right now. He just needs some time, and Namjoon feels the whole group might do well with some rest too. You have all been in flight mode since first entering Hongcheon. Even you have chosen to forgo fighting, overwhelmed by the hoards of zombies and responsibilities to your friends.
-
Namjoon shakes Taehyung awake as second shift starts. Jimin rubs his tired eyes, sitting next to you, ready to take your place. “Hey.”
“Hey,” you whisper.
He nods his head to the group cuddled together like sardines, “Go rest, I got it from here.”
You hesitate. It’s becoming harder and harder to sleep. You dreaded the moments where you weren’t awake and alert for danger. Jimin sees your hesitation, he opens up his arms, “Do you want to stay with me until you’re ready to fall asleep?” You nod, relaxing slightly. 
Jimin is too good to you, it just makes you worry more, it just adds another dagger full of guilt sticking out from your chest. It all feels so heavy. You sink into Jimin, sorry to him for everything you’ve put him through. He hugs you back so tenderly you want to cry.
“Thank you,” you whisper.
Jimin smiles, enjoying your warmth against him. You cling onto him, cuddled to his side, keeping your head buried into your chest, scared if you look at Jimin you’ll do something you regret, already so desperate to make him happy. But you can’t give into your feelings. You cannot bear to think how frightened you would become then.
---
“Is it true? Is it true? You…you…YOU’RE SO BEAUTIFUL THAT I’M SCARED.”
The road was abandoned, everything around you was at a standstill since that fateful day, only the trees danced with you, swaying in the wind. You let your bike zig and zag as you hummed one of your favorite songs happily. 
There were cars still on the road but the engines had long ago stalled out, the drivers ran away. 
It was so quiet. It was calm…peaceful even, serene…
And if there was a noise, it would likely be a member of the undead gurgling for brains. Noise now only served as a warning. 
You bike slowly, looking around at the bright landscape in awe. It had been too long since you saw green, trees, grass, flowers... 
Stuck in the airport for months you had become used to dirt and tarmac, withered plants in pots and only weeds surviving. But now you realized, lots of things survived. It was so beautiful, mesmerizing.
And you were about to be even more mesmerized.
“Oh my god, oh my god!” you laugh, biking fast before coming to a complete stop. “Y-You’re alive!”
The stranger looks at you, mouth agape. 
You kick your bike stand out, running up to him. “Oh! You don’t understand me!” you quickly switch to Korean. “Sorry! Hi, good afternoon! I didn’t mean to frighten you! I’m just– wow– I’m surprised! I haven’t seen another person in...I just...hi!” You resist the urge to hug him, noticing how skittish he already seems, instead bowing ninety degrees. “My name is y/n. Are you okay?”
“You…you speak Korean.”
“You do too, lucky us,” you laugh awkwardly. 
He looks around, shuffling from side to side. “Where did you come from, foreigner? Are you alone? Do you have any food?”
Your smile slowly falls. You had gotten too excited, you hadn’t paid attention, hadn’t noticed his dirty clothes hanging off his very thin frame, the shiftiness in his attitude, the strange look in his eyes, he didn’t seem…well. 
“N-No, I, uh…I came from the airport.” You look behind you, back in the direction you came from.
It only took a second for you to take your eyes off him, and in that second the man decided to attack.
“Hey!” You stumble backward as he tries to pull off your backpack. “Get off! Stop!”
You were used to zombies attacking you, trying to bite you. If it had been a zombie, you would have yanked out your knife before even thinking, stopped the monster immediately and been on your way. 
But a human attacking you? Someone living? 
It caught you so off guard you couldn’t react. You fall on the ground trying to get away.
The stranger lunges at your bike instead, still standing abandoned by you. You scramble to your feet, grabbing on to the handle bars as he tries to mount your bike. 
You start hitting him with your fist, yanking on the bike in between punches to get it away from him. 
‘Is this really happening?!’ you think. You just met and he’s trying to steal your bike?!’
He starts hitting you back, yelling in his weakened efforts. That noise was too similar, and you were bitterly reminded of the airport. You grunt, getting winded from your fighting. Yanking hard on your bike, you maneuver it out of his grasp, only for him to attack you again. 
Even in his weakened state, his adrenaline had managed to make him strong and combative. If you’re not careful, you could get seriously injured, probably left for dead, without your bike, without anyone, dying alone and abandoned…
Again?! Fuck this, fuck him!
You put your knife against his throat and he finally stops trying to attack you. You tried to sound threatening when you told him to stop. But the truth was you were terrified, more terrified than you had ever been at the airport. What if he decided to not listen to you? You didn’t think you could go through with it, you couldn’t kill this man.
“Stop! Get away!” you plead, screaming.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m so hungry, I’m sorry! I won’t hurt you. I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He bows his head, wailing.
You try to steady your hand, but the knife shakes in your grasp. You’ve stopped fighting each other but you can’t seem to catch your breath.
You roll the bike further away from him, arm still outstretched, pointing the knife at him in warning. Your eyes sting with unshed tears, wanting to cry.
You’re sorry too. 
---
You startle, even when Namjoon whispers your name, squeezing your shivering body. “Huh?” You’re lying next to him, you cannot remember when you’ve moved here.
“You were crying in your sleep,” Namjoon says in a concerned hushed voice.
You rub your eyes in your tiredness. It was true, your eyes felt puffy, your cheeks sticky with tears.
You turn your head to look at him, and he looks back at you, concern etched across his brows. Twilight has begun and soon the sun will be up. You sigh, you felt safer in the dark and safest next to Namjoon and the others.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I just had a bad dream.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“I was dreaming about my bike,” you laugh half-heartedly.
But Namjoon doesn’t laugh. “We all…have them, the nightmares-”
“I know.”
“So you can talk to me..us about it. You don’t have to always keep everything in. It’s not healthy.”
“Okay Doctor Kim.”
Namjoon sighs. He’s too cute when his brows furrow, his hair sticking up from sleeping, you can’t help but giggle. “The monsters I dream about aren’t the dead kind,” you whisper. “Sometimes, I just-” you sigh, “-feel like running away.”
“Run away from us? I would track you down,” Namjoon says.
You can’t help but smile, closing your eyes. “I won’t, I’d be too worried you’ll get yourselves killed without me.” 
He reaches for your cheek, lying his tired arm against you. “I’m scared,” you mumble.
“Why?”
“We’re going to run into more people eventually, what if next time…something horrible happens? Sometimes I feel like I made a mistake. I should have stayed away.” You think back to the first time you encountered him again. “At the time I wanted to hurt you, I wanted revenge, and then…” you mumble, reaching for him in the darkness. “People..are dangerous. You were safer with Kanhgo on the farm.” ‘Maybe everything about this was a mistake, not just Yoongi kissing you,’ you want to tell him.
“I think we met at the right time. You don’t know how it was before, we were all...too close to death, too friendly to the idea, to dying. It was in that house, sitting with us, all the time. Do you understand? You saved m– us.”
You don’t hear what he says next, already falling under sleep, too content next to Namjoon despite the looming danger outside. 
Namjoon stares at your closed eyelids and relaxes, scooting closer to your sleeping frame.
---
You wake up out of breath, body shaking. You couldn’t remember your dream, but from your pounding heart rate, your sweat drenched clothes, and the dread you feel lifting away, you suspect it was awful. You jump when arms grab you, pull you in and hug you tightly. 
“You’re okay.” You hear Jimin mumble against your shoulder, soft and soothing.
You see Namjoon still asleep next to you. The day is out. It’s only the four of you left asleep, the others already awake and going through the house.
“Go back to sleep,” Jimin murmurs. But you can’t, not with all that adrenaline coursing through you now, so you watch Namjoon’s peaceful sleeping face, so close to you. You start memorizing his frown lines and birthmarks and cuts still healing, calming yourself down. 
You make a promise to yourself that when you reach Seoul, when Namjoon finds his family, when you eventually go your separate ways, you’re never going to forget him just like this, your friend and your idol trusting you enough to sleep peacefully while death now stands outside.
---
You raid the town’s fire department in the morning. 
No firetruck anymore to your disappointment. 
But there was an axe left behind in haste, some canned food, bandages and antiseptic; incredibly valuable finds. You grab as many helmets as you can carry, intent on sticking them on a few members’ heads. 
“Hobi!” you call out, “Come here!” Hoseok finds you and lets you dress him up in your newly acquired gear. 
It is just as you suspected, you sigh, head in your palms as you watch Hoseok clog around in heavy boots, rolling up the jacket sleeves.
Hoseok would make the. hottest. firefighter.
 Man, you wish selfies were still a thing.
“What are you guys doing?
You drop a helmet onto Taehyung’s head. “Nothing,” you smile. 
“Alright, enough playing around.” Namjoon says, coming back with a full backpack. You pout, pulling off the huge firefighter jacket you found and offering it to Namjoon, hopeful. He eyes the jacket. “C’mon, it’s definitely your size!” 
“Firefighters your thing, eh?” Seokjin rounds a corner. He looks so dashing decked out in uniform. 
“...Maybe.” you tease. 
“Help!” That’s Jungkook’s voice.
He’s stuck in a corner, fighting off two of the largest zombies you’ve ever seen.
These particular zombies, not only look massive and strong, they are also wearing helmets, protecting their most vulnerable spot, and the exact area you need to access to stop their attack.
How the hell are you going to kill them?!
The axe! Namjoon swings it into one of the zombie’s shoulders, completely dislocating the entire arm, while Jungkook keeps his bat lodged in the zombies’ mouths. 
Namjoon brings the axe down again and again, as if he were hacking at a tree. You grimace, you definitely could not use what came off as firewood. “This is so gross.” You look down at what remains, two heads still animatedly trying to bite your shins.
“Sorry,” you wince, stabbing the heads through the eye quickly.
As you sneak your way back to the house, Taehyung decides to ask you, “Why do you always do that?”
You massage your neck, “Do what?”
“Say you’re sorry. You always do it.”
You smile sadly. “Because I am sorry. It’s not their fault, you know. I am sure a man like that always wanted to help people, not eat them.”
‘Man,’ Taehyung certainly did not consider what that firefighter was reduced to, to be anything close to man. “Well I don’t think they understand you.” 
“Hey! My Korean is not that bad!”
Taehyung bumps your shoulder, “You know what I mean!” he laughs.
“Maybe, maybe not,” you sigh. “Their ears are still there, why wouldn’t they understand? Do you think they aren’t in there anymore?”
“I hope not.” Taehyung shudders.
“I guess we’ll never know until we become one…” you hum.
“Kill me before then.” Taehyung mutters.
You offer him your hand, “Deal.”
“If I become a zombie, put a muzzle on me and keep me as a pet.” Seokjin drapes his arms over you and Taehyung.
“Deal!”
“No way!”
“What about you, y/n?”
“If I become a zombie?” You catch Namjoon staring at you. “I don’t know,” you think back to the airport. “I like to think I would be able to you know, but when it comes down to it, I don’t think I could kill myself…” you shrug. “But if I try to eat you, you do have my permission to-” you swing your arm back and forth, aiming for Seokjin’s head, laughing when he yells at you.
---
“What if we go this way? Closer to the river? That might be safer?”
“What about the school?”
“No, that’s usually where the town would find shelter. If just one of them was bitten…I think we should avoid this whole area.”
“What’s this word?” you point to the character on the small map. You, Namjoon, and Yoongi are looking over the withered piece of paper, trying to find the best place to find shelter before night.
“That’s like a, ‘Government Building.’” Namjoon answers in English. “A town hall.”
“What about that church?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea either.”
“What about this street, with all the stores? We could find a place to stay there. Close to supplies? And close to water!”
“Look! Military base.” Yoongi points to the map.
“That’s so far.”
“Tire shop? We could find a running car?”
“Y/n, can we talk?”
“Jimin, just wait,” Namjoon answers for you, stepping closer to you as you study the map.
You rub your temples. Your head hurts trying to decipher the map, speaking Korean rather than reading it has always been easier for you. “Wherever you want to go, I’ll go.” you massage Namjoon’s shoulder, stepping away. You switch positions with Jin as you make your way to Jimin.
-
“Where’s Jungkook and Tae?”
“Working on the well.”
“Should we go watch them? Stand guard?”
Jimin pulls you back, “They got it, we already made sure it’s safe.”
“Oh, alright,” you tilt your head at him, he’s acting a bit impatient. “Are you okay?”
“I just…you’re always– it’s hard to get your attention,” Jimin swallows.
“What? Well, I’m here now,” you say softly, running your hand down Jimin’s arm until you reach his hand, squeezing it with your own.
Jimin squeezes your hand back. “Come with me,” he says more confidently. Jimin leads you back into the house, inside a bedroom, and then inside…the closet? You stumble into boxes full of someone else’s treasured memories.
“Well the closet wouldn’t have been my first choice.”
“I just wanted uninterrupted time with you.” In this small house, hiding away might be the only way Jimin could be with you alone. “I just want to make sure we definitely won’t be bothered,” Jimin sighs, leaning into clothes.
Clothes! You lean against him, picking a shirt off the hanger. You’re so excited by your find, you don’t notice how tense Jimin gets when your body presses up against him. “This would look good on you!” you hold up the shirt you chose.
Jimin takes a deep breath. “Y/n…”
You freeze when you catch his eyes. “Jimin…”
Oh god, why did you say his name like that? All breathy and high pitched and…needy…oh no, why does he have to look at you like that?!
“Don’t look at me like that,” Jimin murmurs, smirking.
Wait, how are you looking at him? You didn’t have very much of a poker face, despite what you thought. “Huh?”
Why does his lips have to be so soft when he kisses you? How does his tongue do that thing-
“Jimin, we can’t,” you step back.
You definitely did not mean to pull him back with you.
He chuckles against your lips, kissing you deeper.
“Wait.” You are suddenly very aware of how hot and cramped you were. You find the door knob, grateful for the new space to clear your head. “W-We really can’t. We should– We shouldn’t! We shouldn’t-” Why can’t you catch your breath?!
“We definitely shouldn’t,” he jokes, resting his hand on the bed’s post.
You exhale, looking at the empty bed. Not doing things with Jimin sounds very appealing. But you can’t! Why “can’t” you again? Oh yeah-
You sit on the bed, looking up at Jimin.
Jimin who is looking down at you with that tiny pleased smirk he can’t stop showing.
You stand up abruptly. No, a relationship was too risky, even if the threat of being eaten didn’t loom over your heads. And what if...
What if Jimin got tired of you, came to his senses once he reached Seoul and had more options? 
“I thought we agreed to wait until Seoul-”
Waiting looks like the very last thing Jimin wants to do. “What if I don't make it to Seoul?!”
“Don’t say that!” you hiss. Why did he have to say that? Now you feel like crying. You must have looked upset, because Jimin is now looking at you with a mixture of confusion and worry. 
Jimin hugs you close, arms wrapped around you tightly, like he knows you will fall apart if he doesn’t. His lips are trembling against your neck, you can feel your own body trembling against his. 
You are not strong enough to resist him. 
“Please Jimin, all I’m saying is you might feel differently once we get to Seoul-”
“I won’t-”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do.”
It’s easier to speak when you are looking away from Jimin. “Everything that’s happened…that is happening, it’s easy to, you know, want to feel something other than fear or loneliness,” you swallow. “And I’m convenient to do that with,” you let your hands drop away from his embrace. “I feel like we’re just using each other, and once it’s not convenient, you won’t want me anymore. That’s why I wanted to wait.” 
“I’m not using you, y/n!”
You look up at the ceiling to keep from crying. You weren’t from a rich family, or famous, you weren’t gifted, you weren’t special. You would have never been more than a fan to them had the world not gone to shit…
They left you alone.
You don't forget that, that nagging feeling always in the pit of your stomach, always tight around your chest when you notice one of them giving you that look, the one Jimin is giving you right now. The look Yoongi gave you after he said what a “mistake” it was kissing you.
And if you let Jimin kiss you again, have you on this bed, could you handle it if he tells you someday later, those exact words? You’re overcome with a weird feeling. Are you okay with that? 
He’s looking at your lips.
Maybe you should. Fuck it. Yolo. Or whatever.
Can you push away those feelings?
Is...that what Yoongi did to you?
“Is everything okay?”
“Go away Namjoon!” Jimin yells as you pull away from one another as the bedroom door opens.
“What? Excuse me, Park Jimin?” Namjoon is staring at your distressed anxious expression. “What the hell is going on?”
“It’s fine. I-I’m fine. I…I need some air.”
Jimin grabbed your arm. He didn’t want to let you go, he knew you had a penchant for being reckless, and especially if you were about to go outside, he was definitely going to put a stop to it. 
It probably sounded like a whimper, the sound you made when Jimin held you again, the way Namjoon was right by your side in an instant. “Let her go, Jimin!” He warns, holding both yours and Jimin’s arms.
“Kim Namjoon, why do you let her put herself in danger all the time?!”
“WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME, PARK JIMIN?”
You wince at Namjoon’s booming voice so close to your ear. You hear footsteps rushing towards the room, so you rip yourself away from both men’s grasp.
Well, you just locked yourself in the closet. You just did that.
The men stare at the closed door for a while. They hear your muffled voice yell back, “I’m fine! I just need some time alone…in here. I won't go outside, I promise!”
---
You finally leave the closet when Seokjin knocks softly on the door telling you dinner is ready. You carry a box full of clothes, shirts and pants for each man to try on, and a new outlook on things after shifting through old keepsakes, a collection of items that told a story of a couple who must have been together for decades. You want that. But that kind of life, like old movie tickets, developed film, and festival prizes, that kind of blissful happiness was not possible for anyone anymore.
“Do we have water?” you ask Jungkook. He looks exhausted.
“Drinking water, yes.”
“What about…cleaning water?” you ask, hopeful. 
“What about soap?” Jungkook asks.
You smile wide, clapping your hands together, pulling out everything you found and setting it up in a neatly filed line in front of Jungkook. “You have first pick, of course, if you get me that water,” you smile deviously.
Jungkook grabs the shampoo and conditioner combo. “You will have it all set up for you tomorrow when you get back from scouting.”
“Yay!” You give the youngest the tightest biggest hug you could muster up. “Oh! Maybe I should wait until after I bathe to give you a hug-”
“No! Hug now, and hug tomorrow!” Jungkook squeezes the air out of you. You giggle, despite not being able to inhale.
---
“Are you still mad at me?” Yoongi asks wearily, finally speaking up. “I’m sorry-”
“You don’t have to apologize, Yoongi.” You dig through the neighboring house’s kitchen, handing Yoongi the cans of food you found. “I’ll just try not to act so irresistible next time,” you joke, in brighter spirits, winking at the idol.
Yoongi places the items in his pack, relieved you weren’t giving him the cold shoulder.
“Oh, thanks,” he says sarcastically. “You’ve been doing a pretty good job though with that smell.”
“Okay, mister! Oh look, I found some food for you!” You throw him some cat food, laughing.
“I expect a two course meal tonight,” you tease, after finding spam and more canned veggies.
“I’ll make sure to prepare a second course all for you with the cat food you found.”
“Ew!” You shove him playfully. “I guess I won’t share my dessert with you then.”
“What dessert?”
“You think these are still good?” You pull out a full box of chocopie from your pack. You smile in satisfaction at Yoongi’s stunned face. 
“I guess I will have to make you a three course meal then,” Yoongi says, making you smile wider.
A noise makes you jump, and Yoongi instinctively covers your body with his. You force your head under his arm, unwilling to let him sacrifice himself for you.
“Stay behind me!” Yoongi hisses.
“No, you stay behind me!”
Yoongi shoves you with all his strength away from the noise closing in. It catches you off guard as you stumble backward, you hadn’t expected Yoongi to use so much force.
So you jump on his back, sending him stumbling and crashing into a very nice looking cabinet...full of glass wear.
Two of the biggest racoons you’ve ever seen in your life scurry out of the shadows and past you and Yoongi, making you squeal and tighten your grip around the rapper.
Yoongi sighs, freezing against you when he realizes his hands are holding your thighs.
“Next time just get behind me,” you mumble.
“No fucking way.”
You should be mad at him, but you can’t help but smile.
Yoongi should be mad at you, but all his anger dissipates seeing your smile.
You pass by a record player on your way out. “Yoongi! Do you think we could make it work?”
Yoongi shakes his head. “It needs electricity.”
“You can’t just turn the record with your finger?” You sound so desperate to hear music.
“The speakers won’t work without electricity. Sorry, y/n.”
You nod, crestfallen. Yoongi hides his disappointment too, the rapper wishes most of all to hear music again. You grab a pile of records, “just in case,” you say, hoping one day to find a way to play them. It makes Yoongi sad and happy all at once. He wouldn’t have done that, had any hope like that to begin with. 
You both walk back to your new found home quietly, but now shoulder to shoulder.
You gasp, making Yoongi pause. “Oh! Look at that. The wall-”
Vine had grown all over the concrete fence. Between the two panels, vegetation had come in between them and on the sides, and now the gray that could still be seen resembled-
“It looks like the Army logo!” you laugh happily.
Yoongi looks at you. His eyes seem lost and far away and so reverent, and at the same time, he looks at you with that same reverence.
And Yoongi knows he shouldn’t. Not after Seokjin had confessed to him his growing feelings for you, or when Jimin looks at you so longingly during those moments you’re not looking.
Not after Yoongi had noticed the way his leader always gravitates to your side, and Jungkook’s red ears and wide smile when you give him your undivided attention. Yoongi knows there was already enough discontent in the group. He shouldn’t feel the same way.
But you’ve wound yourself around him like those branches. 
You’ve grown on the rapper, your attitude and your kindness and your strength and your smile. He feels it, that excitement when he looks at the hidden symbol, only for a second, only because of you, and he’s grateful to you. 
Your eyes follow his gaze, looking at him in excitement over such a small thing, a small sign that meant…still means so much to him…so much it hurts to remember. It hurts to think about what he had and what he lost. You mean so much to him. And he can’t lose you too.
Your eyes sparkle before they turn questioning, and before you can ask, Yoongi is already kissing you.
Your eyes widen, and your hand presses against his chest. Yoongi’s muscles are hard against your palm and makes you gasp how solid and warm he feels. He kisses you deeper, quickly, indulgently before he makes himself pull away.
You're both breathing hard, you look at him surprised, mouth agape, your lips still tingling from his contact.
He did it right in front of the house.
And right in front of his bandmates, waiting for both of you to return. 
Shit, he thinks. Where did all his control go?! He wishes he could blame you, after all the things you do to make his heart burst so much he bursts to feel you.
He makes a quick apology before turning away from you. He knows he’s fucked up again when he feels your grip on his shoulder as you try to pull him back unsuccessfully and your silence following.
Maybe somewhere deep down he wanted you to chase him, and somewhere deeper he was disappointed you didn’t.
---
“Someone kissed you, someone here kissed you?! One of my brothers kissed you?!”
“No! No, no.” You say rather unconvincingly in Jimin’s opinion. 
“...”
“Yes?”
“So? Who was it? I know it wasn’t Jungkook or Taehyung because they were the ones whispering about it.”
You groan inwardly. “Well it doesn’t really matter, because he didn’t mean to, but um, it was– and he regrets it! I think. Well he definitely regretted the first time-” you mumble, annoyed.
“First?! As in, this was the second time?!”
“Uhhhh…”
“Did you kiss him back?”
“...”
Jimin sighs, rubbing his eyes. “So that’s why you didn’t want to be with me,” he laughs bitterly.
“What! No! Well yes…but not for that reason! Ugh! Jimin please,” you inhale deeply, “Yoongi regretted it as soon as it happened. I just didn’t want you…if we had done more, I didn’t want you to feel stuck with me once we reached Seoul,” you sigh.
“YOONGI KISSED YOU? TWICE?!”
“Eh? No? Yes?”
“You do know zombies are attracted to noise, right?!”
“Shut up, Dev!”
Taehyung and Jungkook, the cause of this commotion (because it was definitely not you and Yoongi) pull Jimin away. 
“Maybe you should go check the bathroom, y/n,” Jungkook pleads.
You don’t have to be told twice. You nod, at a loss for words.
-
You stare at the half filled plastic tub situated in the middle of the bathroom, contemplating on drowning yourself. 
It would certainly make things easier for the group. You decide probably not the best thing to do at the moment and pull off your shirt.
The door opens mid undress, and you decide to just pull off the dirtied material anyways.
“Oh shit, sorry! I thought you might have been done already.”
“Oh, I was…preoccupied.” Interrogated, more like it, you sigh. You cover your chest with the dirtied shirt, staring at BTS leader, Kim Namjoon, who looks sheepishly at his feet. “You wanted to use the water?” you ask hesitantly.
“No,” he lies, “We already washed up.”
“You did a shit job.” You notice his hair is still a little bit greasy.
Namjoon laughs. “Well Jungkook is rationing water like a maniac, we were only allowed a bowl full each.”
You suddenly feel horrible looking at the tub full of water you were about to use. “I’m sorry, that’s not fair, you can use the water first.”
“No, no! You deserve it out of all of us.”
“What?! No I don’t!” you exclaim, pulling Namjoon to the tub and heading for the door.
“Hold up, Jungkook will murder me if you don’t use this water,” Namjoon laughs.
You pause. Grabbing a towel and soaking it, you squirt soap across it. “Well…you need it more,” you smile half heartedly, holding the towel out for him to take. “Please.”
Namjoon sighs, pausing at the door. 
He shuts it.
-
You sit on the closed toilet, suddenly realizing the situation you’ve put yourself in as Namjoon pulls off his shirt. He takes the towel from you, holding it to his face and sighing.
Where did your shirt go?! Should you go put a shirt back on? Should you leave and give him privacy? Or maybe you should stay very very still in hopes he forgets you’re still here. You glance over at Namjoon, trying not to stare as he wipes his chest.
Namjoon bends over your lap, wetting the towel again.
“Do you want help with your err back?” you ask.
Namjoon looks over at you. He hasn’t said a word since he’s closed the door. He simply nods, turning his back to you.
You notice all the scars littered across his torso and arms. It's sad what this new world does to you, you can’t escape it no matter who you are.
You wipe down his spine and across, over a particularly deep looking scar. It’s so close to his spleen, it must have been a scary situation. “How did you get that one?” 
“I think it was when we were running through the woods after our first lake run. We hadn’t anticipated so many of them. I fell down and got jabbed by a branch, went in pretty deep,” he grunts, remembering the pain and having to get back up and keep running even as blood seeped out of his gash.
“Clumsy,” you tsk. Namjoon chuckles, back to being silent. So you tell him to lean over the tub. You cup water in your palms to wet his hair and you grab some of your shampoo.
He sighs as your nails massage the soap into his scalp, his arm absentmindedly holding your leg. You tell yourself it's so his clumsy self stays steady.
You pick up a cup and let the water run through his hair. “Don’t tell the others I did that for you, they might get mad at me.” You wonder just how mad Jimin currently is.
He shakes his head, flinging water at you, nodding happily. You laugh, looking away. His pants are soaking. 
“Thank you.”
“I can leave, so you can finish cleaning your body,” you mumble.
“Or,” Namjoon says softly, “you could stay.”
That makes you look up. Namjoon stands upright, he looks so tense and wound up. You are faring no better, and this was supposed to be a relaxing experience! 
“Do you want me to stay?” you ask slowly.
“Yes.” Namjoon says without missing a beat.
“Okay. So, I’ll stay,” you swallow.
“I can help you too, wash your back.” 
You scoff. But he’s serious.
You have gotten very close to them, spending every waking minute with them, falling asleep in their arms, you’ve lost count how many times it’s happened. You try to always tell yourself it’s what you must do to survive, that’s all there is to it. That sort of familiarity was a kind of preservation.
This is probably the closest thing you’ve done with the leader. And the way he looks at you, with such a soft look in his eyes, making you second guess yourself, that mantra just doesn’t seem to fit this time. 
You decidedly turn around, reaching for your bra clasp. Namjoon undoes it quickly, easily, surprising you.
Now it's Namjoon’s turn to look over the scars littering your body. They look deep and painful.
He touches one in particular. It’s a miracle you lived. 
He holds his hand there, over the scar, palm resting on your side. Your heart feels like it’s pumping a thousand beats per minute.
He delicately runs the towel across your shoulder blades as you cross your arms over your chest.
You shiver when the cold cloth touches your skin. “I told you it was going to be cold,” Namjoon laughs. “You wanted to soak in that.”
“I’ll still do it,” you say stubbornly, getting used to the cool sensation.
You turn around once he seems to have gone over your back three times over. You were both topless, however you kept yourself covered with your arms. You didn’t protest when he wiped your neck and collar bone. You were concentrating on not making any noise at all actually, worried for the sounds that might come out.
Namjoon was taking deeper breaths, through and out his nose.
You wondered what kind of reaction he would have if you dropped your hands.
You also wondered how long it’s been since Namjoon has seen a woman’s body up close like this. You had already noticed how his eyes kept glancing down at your cleavage every other second. It’s been a long time since someone has seen you naked.
It would be like a thank you. 
Were you really thinking about flashing the idol?!
But Namjoon…has become more. Felt like more…he was more to you. He’s more special to you than you could have possibly imagined.
Also you just kind of want to see his reaction. You chuckle.
Namjoon quirks his head, a small smile surfacing. “What?”
Oh god, what’s wrong with you?! Was the thought of showing him your boobs that amusing to you?
“I just realized you’re the only person that can really see me like this.”
“Is that why you’re avoiding Jimin?” He asks.
“Part of the reason,” you mumble.
“The others will-”
“No.” You shut down whatever his suggestion might be. “You’re the only person I trust completely, Namjoon.”
He nods. “I trust you completely too.”
You shy away, turning back around. Hearing your words repeated back to you, you didn’t realize how…intimate it sounded.
You hear Namjoon unbuckling his belt. You didn’t know what to do, so you started unbuttoning your pants as well. For some reason, your brain thought if you were both naked, that would make it less awkward. The mind is a funny thing.
You let your pants drop. Your heart rate is now ringing inside your ears.
You stumble over to the small tub, standing in the middle, waiting, glancing over your shoulder to a very naked Namjoon, hands over his manhood.
“You’re not really gonna-”
“Oh, I definitely am.” You try to sound as confident as possible with your heart fully jumping outside your chest and your eyes staring directly at your toes. “You too?”
-
“How is it?”
“Freezing.”
You can’t help but laugh. “Whatever!” You cup some water and let it trickle down your front.
It’s cramped as hell, you’re trying very hard to ignore Namjoon’s naked member pressed up against your bum. The water is cold, but every place Namjoon's skin comes into contact with yours, warmth is radiating.
Namjoon smiles. You're spooned against his front, knees pulled to your chest. He has to reach down your legs to wet his towel again, running the damp cloth across his neck and shoulder. He relaxes against you, resting his head against the tub’s rim as you meticulously lather soap over your body and through your hair. He tries to remember what compelled him to do this with you. 
He wanted to be closer with you, and well now, he thinks there is no way he could possibly get any closer unless he jumped into your skin.
He didn’t want to leave you. Even though he knew he should have gone the moment he saw your shirt over your arms and your cleavage on display. He knew you were just being nice offering him your bath, but you looked at him eyes so pleadingly, half naked too, Namjoon wanted to stay with you, so he did.
He didn’t want you to leave him either. So he asked you to stay. He told himself, if you said no, then he wouldn’t push, he would accept that was going to be as close as he would be able to get for now. But then you stayed. He got what he wanted.
And now you were naked in his lap, happily splashing around while his balls froze, and Namjoon was exactly where he wanted to be. He probably shouldn’t feel so satisfied about it, but he’s been having to quietly deal with not being able to do what he truly wanted for so long…
“Well I’m having fun,” you laugh.
“Me too.”
“Y/n is that you?”
Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. 
“Yeah, yeah it’s me. I’ll be out in a bit. I'm, um, busy!” You try to stand, but you have no footing.
“Oh okay!” Taehyung yells back. You listen for any sounds of movement. 
“I can’t find Hobi or Joon, do you know where they went?”
“No um no, I don’t know where Hobi OR JOON is! I don’t know, I’ll uhh help you look after I’m done…go away now– Close the bedroom door when you leave! I need to grab my clothes.”
Taehyung sees two large shirts on the bed. He likes the color of one. “You want them now?”
“NO! No no, I’m busy, you should leave. I can’t um concentrate with you there.”
“Okay okay.” Jeez. Taehyung pouts. It’s not like he hasn’t heard it all before. But women are touchy with things like that so he lets you have your privacy.
You had floundered like a fish, leaning over to make sure Taehyung could hear you, arm outstretched in case you needed to throw the door closed. You had completely forgotten your, very naked, predicament.
Two of those predicaments pressed right against Namjoon’s cheeks. 
Now you are very much understanding what you’ve done, and how rigid Namjoon is, trying not to think about you pressed up against him. And you notice how rigid something else is…..
You freeze in shock.
That doesn’t help Namjoon’s current situation.
“I can’t leave now. It will be too obvious,” Joon says, fighting every mortal urge inside him at this point.
You peel your breasts off him, falling out of the tub and onto slippery tile.
“I’ll leave!” Shit. Your own self restraint is hanging on by threads. You need alone time. How are you gonna get it here?
Fuck, it’s cold now, you’re missing Namjoon’s body against yours, you’re really missing it.
“Stay.”
“Namjoon, listen– oh,” you had intended to tell him the same thing you told Jimin, you hadn’t expected him to see him so...exposed.
Namjoo stood one foot out of the tub, skin wet and glistening, hand not so much covering much of anything as he gripped his very very erect cock.
Your mind goes blank. This was the first time you’ve seen him…that. Not in quick shy glances at the lake, not in unfocused looks, eyes downcast or upcast or anywhere but his fucking sexy body cast. You were shamelessly staring at the man in front of you, eyes wide open.
Namjoon looks so goddamn hot, so big. And you made him that hard, you can’t even bother to cover yourself, noticing his eyes looking hungrily at your bare chest as he runs his hand down his cock, gripping it tight. 
You look up at him, panting. Goddammit, he’s so goddamn hot, touching himself to your body. You might just hyperventilate right in front of him, but that would be super unsexy of you.
Namjoon runs his tongue across his bottom lip, grunting. Or was that a moan?!
You feel so wet, so burning up, you’re surprised the water hasn’t evaporated off your skin.
“If we…if we…we’re just helping each other. Like friends. We’re just…”
Namjoon nods, too horny to think straight anyways he’d agree to anything you said.
Namjoon doesn’t say anything, just bends down, laying his body over yours so you can feel his warmth against you again.
It was your first kiss with Namjoon. Previously, there were moments at night when his lips grazed your shoulder, a couple times against the crook of your neck, that you chose to believe was something sort of a reflex he would do half asleep, probably remembering someone who was not you, an action he never mentioned once morning came. But this kiss was so desperate, full of passion and want. His lips were strong and rough, his mouth was devouring you.
You reach between your legs, gripping his length finally. “Fuck, you’re so hard,” you moan, impressed. “I am so wet right now.”
“Oh fuck,” Namjoon whimpers.
Fuck! He whimpered! 
Yep. You’re gonna do it. There is no fucking way you’re gonna leave here without cuming. 
You arch your back into him, hand now moving furiously up and down his cock. He kisses you, tongue licking into your open mouth. His fingers meet yours as he reaches for your center. You bite back moans, closing your eyes as his digits dig into your thigh, hiking up one leg to open you up for his skilled fingers.
You gasp, catching his eyes, the way his brows furrow and his intense gaze, so very different from when he’s half asleep. His fingers reach in deep inside you, a sensation you haven’t felt in so long. You try to focus on his pleasure, running your hand up and down his length, finding a speed he responds to the most and trying your best to keep it up as you fall apart under his own ministrations.
You finally lose your very intense very sexy staring match when he curls his fingers into you, your eyes rolling back. “Fuck…yes…yes,” you groan.
Namjoon is close, kissing you when he finally reaches his high, silencing himself against your lips as you shudder against him.
He breathes heavily against you. He wanted to do more with you, it was too quick, he was too quick, he thinks cursing himself, even though he should have anticipated that kind of reaction to finally being touched by another person in so long. But time, like everything now, is scarce.
You stare up at the ceiling, post orgasm clarity hitting you like a ton of bricks. Did you just really do that?! It just all happened so fast, and now Namjoon is laying over you so heavy you can't move. Namjoon lifts himself up after catching his breath and you stare at each other.
You wonder what he’s thinking. You’re too embarrassed to ask. At least you’re in the perfect place to clean yourselves up.
---
You’ve all decided to move tonight, closer to the river, closer to Seoul. Everything is packed! You’re all ready, well fed, prepared. You should all be feeling pretty confident at this point. But everyone’s in a bad mood, tense, well almost everyone.
Taehyung is staring at Namjoon’s new shirt suspiciously and the way he seems way too relaxed about things, the way he stands right behind you, extremely close, bodies touching like...no way...
‘No, definitely not.’ Taehyung thinks...he hopes not. Damn, he should have taken that shirt when he had the chance! You catch Taehyung’s narrowed stare and immediately look away like you are hiding something. “How did you like it?” Jungkook walks up to you, staring at your freshly cleaned face, you are glowing.
“It was perfect, thank you so so much,” you whisper.
“Do you still have some of the soap you used? You smell good.” You giggle when his nose tickles the crook of your neck as he sniffs you, knocking him away playfully.
“Mhmm it’s not soap,” you say happily, “It’s lotion!”
Jungkook holds his hand out expectantly. “Boy, your skin is perfect, you do not need it, I do!”
“Noona, share!” Jungkook whines.
“Finders keepers! Fine, I’ll let you borrow some later, remind me,” you laugh.
Taehyung stares at Namjoon, who is cracking his knuckles, his jaw tensing as he watches Jungkook touch you playfully. Taehyung notices the way his leader’s eyes immediately soften when you look over your shoulder and call his name asking if he was ready, smiling. He smiles too.
‘Oh my god,’ Taehyung thinks.
-
The group decides to break up into pairs and one trio. Normally you would have said, hell no, that’s being-chased-by-monsters rule number one, never split up the group! 
But it was easier to move around this way, to hide quickly.
The first pair would make sure they had the second always in their sights and it would go down the line like that, so it was easy to alert the closest pair to any signs of danger and the message could get to the whole group no matter how far spread out.
And it was strategic, one pair could lure monsters away while the others slipped through. Another pair could help you escape. And if it came to the worst, at least it would only be a few, and not all of you…
Taehyung decides to step in when you and Namjoon want to be paired together, so that’s why you are currently holding hands with the baritone singer, crab walking behind a fence.
You pass by shops with Taehyung, looking through the store windows. You want to explore, you would have if you were alone. But now you were part of a group, with a group objective, and group members who were counting on you, so you move steadily forward. That would have been a cute outfit though.
Every once in a while the pair in front of you stops, sends you and Taehyung a series of hand gestures to translate. This time, you learn there are nine zombies at your ten o’clock. 
Taehyung lets Jin and Yoongi know, telling them to follow you and him to the right while Namjoon and Hoseok throw rocks, leading the monsters away.
Taehyung has been unusually quiet. You suspect he’s probably mad at you on behalf of Jimin, so you don’t push him to make small talk. Grudges become trivial in these kinds of situations anyways. 
You turn a corner and notice three zombies hunched near the remains of a food stall. 
You wonder, were they customers at some point in their lives? They don’t notice you and they are pretty far away, but could definitely become a problem later. You and Taehyung exchange looks. “I’ll handle it,” you say.
“I got your back,” he whispers, signaling for the others to wait and hide.
One, down, a middle aged woman missing a huge chunk of her calf, her eyes so clouded she couldn’t see anymore, just smelled you too late.
Two, down, a business man still wearing his work suit, a hole in his jacket and his intestines falling out, his jaw crooked, a limp in his walk, he was already falling apart before you destroyed him completely.
The third one, he only had one bite mark on his neck. His clothes were grimy, like everything else in this new world, but his skin still had a lively color. He looks like he was turned not even a day ago, and he’s fast. 
You fall down. Taehyung sinks his knife into the undead’s neck when he jumps on you, but the angle doesn’t hit where it needs to and the zombie turns his body to attack the idol. You grab the zombie at his ankles, giving Taehyung enough time to strike where it counts. Taehyung is shaken but okay. You are winded but okay.
You see the two eldest running towards your location and you hold up your hand to tell them not to worry. But they don’t stop, instead signaling you to hide. Taehyung pulls you up by the elbow and you run towards the empty stall.
“Grab that guy!”
“What?!”
“Hurry!” you hiss, yanking the now fully dead woman across the pavement.
One, Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, you count. Did you hear that right? Ten different pairs of feet dragging across pavement, ten different tones, growling, passing by you and Taehyung, currently lying under a broken stall table, with two corpses covering you. They drag around you, bodies shadowed on the red plastic table cloth covering you and Taehyung.
You both stay hidden, taking short breaths, listening intently, fingers numb from holding each other. The plastic tablecloth keeps you hidden but also traps the heat in and doesn't give you any field of vision. God, it smells horrible, the smell of death. You squeeze Taehyung’s hand tighter, letting the pain take your mind off the stench. You notice sweat roll down his forehead as Taehyung scrunches up his nose, trying not to inhale the smell.
Taehyung looks at you, telling you to wait, because he already knows that you’re itching to leave, to run, to fight. He tightens his already crushing grip. 
“You remember what you promised me?” You promised Taehyung something? You look at him questioningly. “Before I become like them, kill me, so I don’t hurt my brothers.”
“We’re going to get out of here, okay?” Taehyung nods, very unconvinced. “Hobi and Joon, did you see where they ran?” Taehyung nods again, very not ready to leave. “I know you’re mad at me, but do you trust me?” Taehyung’s eyes go wide.
“I’m not mad at you.” 
The growls can no longer be heard. You pull a corner of the table cloth up, looking around, seeing the undead group dispersed and in the distance, only moving shadows in the night now. “So you got my back, right?” Taehyung nods, eyes focused. “We’re gonna go really slow, clear the area as much as possible. If we see one, and they’re a slow one too, we’re gonna let them come to us.”
“And if it’s like him?” Taehyung gestures to the corpse next to him. 
You smile, “We’re gonna let them come to me. You take them down. We just have to last until the others get to us. I trust you, Tae.”
You’re breaking your second rule on being-chased-by-monsters. Always run from newly turned zombies. But you’re doing it for Taehyung, for the group. 
Also, you can’t deny that you and Taehyung have both gotten very good at defending yourselves. Of course every zombie encounter is life or death, of course it’s a terrifying experience to fight one, one Taehyung would rather avoid, but he hasn’t lost yet! The odds are in your favor.
This so happens to be just another night out in post apocalyptic times. And as you hold Taehyung’s hand, now standing in the middle of the unlit street, watching a few ambling monsters start ambling your way, you and Taehyung start to walk as if you were just out on a stroll, and you think, this is not the most horrible night out you’ve had post apocalypse, and you might even go far as to say pre-apocalypse either, thinking about that night you ended up in the ER. 
Twelve more, down, you and Taehyung have stopped. You stand back to back, looking around for any signs of life. 
“Should we just call out for help?” Taehyung suggests, looking around for any signals to where his brother’s have gone.
It’s so quiet now, you can only hear Taehyung, maybe the others are being quiet on purpose. “Not yet. Which way did you see Hobi and Joon go?”
“I think we should go back and find Jin and Yoongi.”
“Oh? Okay...” you let Taehyung lead you away. “W-Wait! Do you hear that?”
It sounds like a ticking, no, more like a pounding. Something heavy bumping into glass. You situate yourself against Taehyng’s back again. “What is that?”
“I don’t know, do you see where it’s coming from?” you whisper, looking at the buildings around you. Could it be the others? Are they in trouble?
Taehyung holds your hand, bracing himself, “Yeah.” He sees a young woman, banging on the glass in an abandoned store. It is fairly far, at first Taehyung thought she was signaling for help…
…but she’s banging on the door with her head.
There’s so much blood, but Taehyung can clearly see the way she bares her teeth. And in the shadows, Taehyung can just make out some movement, something else, coming closer. “We need to hide. Now!”
You look over your shoulder, to see what Taehyung sees, just in time to witness the glass break. Taehyung is leading you away before you can respond, running faster than you can keep up in the opposite direction. You stumble into an alleyway, looking for a place to hide. “WHY IS IT BLOCKED?!” 
You have found yourselves at a dead end, a car jammed in the narrowest alleyway, turned over on its side, probably trying to escape the exact kind of monsters chasing after you now. 
The monsters find you as you and Taehyung are desperately trying to climb over the car. “Wait wait wait!” Taehyung holds his hands up, knife ready to stab.
The zombie actually stops.
“Did you just speak zombie to her?” you ask incredulously.
It was probably a coincidence as the monster starts running towards you and Taehyung again. “Stop!”
“It’s not stopping, Taehyung! Just run!”
“It was worth another try.”
The zombie is catching up, not caring how badly damaged its body becomes as it catapults itself over the car. Taehyung trips, pulling you down with him. You’re sure to have cuts across your palms and elbows as you crawl away on the hard pavement.
Now the distance is closed, and there’s two more crawling over the top of the car like ants over a hill looking for something sweet to devour.
But before you can defend yourself, her head is already gone. “Get up!” An older man yells at you. Taehyung pulls you up as a strange group takes down the remaining zombies.
The stranger runs to the backdoor of a store, opening it with a key, ushering everyone inside until the last man joins you, and the old man locks the door again. “Thank you,” Taehyung says, winded.
The man introduces himself and the group. “We saw you outside, on the street,” he says. “It was impressive,” he adds. The pair of you seemed fearless taking on so many zombies, so he thought…
You stay quiet as Taehyung and the man talk. You look around, counting four other men and two women. You notice each woman clinging onto a man, presumably their boyfriend, and you glance down at your own hand, fingers still interlaced with Taehyung.
“Is it just you two?”
“Yes.” Taehyung says. There was another reason you broke off into groups, so if you ran into anyone living, depending on your situation, you could make sure they wouldn’t know about the others. “We’re trying to get to Seoul.” You hear soft laughter. Why is it always so funny?!
You haven’t spoken up, only stared at the group, trying to gauge their level of hostility. They seem curious about you and they don’t seem to have recognized Taehyung. “I don’t think there will be much left when you get there,” one of the men speaks up. “I escaped Seoul.”
They always say that too…
“What happened in Seoul?” Taehyung asks. “What do you remember?”
“What I remember? I think I blocked most of it out now,” he laughs bitterly. “The first day, it must have been half…half of everyone changed into biters by that night..” A few others nod their head in agreement. “We were told to stay in our homes, shelter in place, so we thought, ‘that’s good news,’ right? Someone would come and save us, bring us food and supplies at least, but there was...nothing. We had internet, we could contact our friends and family for a while. But power stopped eventually, and then we were really fucked to hell. No one came to help us, only to try to break down our doors to get inside. Once we finally left, it was completely changed, I’ve never seen anything like it. Seoul wasn’t Seoul anymore.”
“What about the military?”
“They tried their damndest from what I heard, but they were all overrun by those things, even the American base,” he eyes you up and down, wondering where you came from and if you understood him, your impassive face not giving anything away, He also questioned…bitterly…why a foreigner managed to survive all this time when his friends, his family, hadn’t. 
“It can’t all be destroyed,” Taehyung says, choking on his words.
The man clears his throat, “There were rumors of certain communities in Gangnam and in Itaewon that created a good enough fortification, what’s left of the military now fends off the biters for them. But we also heard they would shoot anyone who came close to their buildings, living or not really.”
Taehyung seems to light up at that new information regardless. If rumors and half truths were anything to go by, that meant there still might be some hope someone he knew survived. Taehyung turns to you, “That’s good news, right?” You nod. Well, if you were to ignore the shooting on sight part.
“T-That’s not– Did you listen to me? If you go to Seoul you will die.” The man interrupts. 
“You said there were survivors-”
“Yeah, they got the important people up in there, in their damn billion won penthouses, ready to kill off anyone who even tries to get close. It was rumored even the president ended up there. Or escaped to North Korea, some say. But it doesn’t matter, because they killed everyone else! They’re not going to let you in, even if you manage to get there. And the rest of the city is hell on earth. Trust me, you don’t want to take her there.”
Oh shit. You study the two women, do they recognize Taehyung? What will they do once they find out? Take out their anger on one of those billion won penthouse owners? Thank god it’s dark in here, only a few rays of light from the moon shine through the windows and everything else is in the shadows, you and Taehyung included.
“And you have a place here, if you want it.” The old man interjects. “It was impressive, what you did, both of you,” he repeats. He needs more people like you here, he needs more fighters. There’s already so many factions in Hongcheon, it’s a miracle his tiny group has survived up until now.
“Can we…think about it? We still need to get supplies, that’s why we came out in the first place. We’ll go out and come back here, now that we know this place is safe.” Taehyung says.
“Okay, go and help him.” The older man asks another.
“I can show you where we sleep,” one of the women walks up to you, putting her head on her hands in case you didn’t understand her.
“No, she’s coming with me,” Taehyung interjects. He hasn’t let go of your hand this entire time.
“I know you want to protect her.” The older man adds, noticing the way you stayed glued to each other, even when you fought the monsters you always held onto each other's hands unless you absolutely had to let go, only for moments at a time. “It would be safer for her to stay here.”
You look at Taehyung with wide eyes, trying to convey to him all the things you want to say. Like, hell fucking no! There is no fucking way you are letting him out of your sight! Who the fuck cares whatever place they have to sleep looks like?! They’ve got to be kidding-
“Uh, let me talk to her, to explain!” Taehyung pulls you away, deeper into the store.
“Taehyung, you can’t be seriously thin-”
“I noticed the front door is barricaded, there might be a window in the bathroom, no, that’s not gonna work-”
“Oh-”
“We need to leave, y/n. Right now.”
You nod. “Do you think they recognize who you are? We need to be careful.”
“Yeah.” Even if it’s been awhile, Taehyung knows better than anyone, he still can spot a fan just by the way they look at him, the way they act, or pretend to act.
“How are we going to leave without them noticing?” You glance over to the strangers, trying to see if they are talking amongst themselves, if they are being told about Taehyung.
He pulls you further away, eyeing the shelves, glancing over his shoulder at the group. Taehyung sighs. “I think we’re gonna have to break one of our rules-”
Oh great, there goes rule number three on being-chased-by-monsters, out the window.
-
“We know all the places that have been already cleared of biters, there might be a few stranglers, but nothing like what you just went through.”
“Okay,” Taehyung eyes the way you visibly frown as one of the women tries talking to you about the roles the men and women accomplish day by day, and he tries not to laugh. 
The more of these “chores” she goes through, the more it’s sounding like they want to turn you into a 1950s housewife. And she might be all too content to sweep the post apocalyptic dust around the store so it can settle into another corner for the next day, but you certainly are not!
And why is Taehyung smiling at you?! “Okay, I’ll be right back.” Taehyung gives you a hug, and touches your cheek softly, looking into your eyes like he’s about to kiss you.
And then he kisses you. 
What. You close your eyes and just go with it, trying not to look too surprised or too awkward.
And then he bends down and kisses your stomach, smiling, before giving you one last kiss on your forehead. “Just wait and remember to let them come to you,” he whispers against your temple.
Eh? Did Taehyung just Peeta you? You get he’s trying to protect you, but you think you might actually murder him after this. You look around, grinning as wide as you can pretend to, seeing everyone’s surprised faces.
“Wait,” you tug on Taehyung’s sleeve. Actually, you really hate this, you don’t want him to leave you here! So much has changed since you last broke rule number three: never go out at night on your own. You hold his head in your hands. Somehow holding him like this, with your foreheads and noses touching, feels more intimate than when your lips touched.
“Please, be careful…for the baby,” you add. Taehyung nods, smiling. He hugs you tight and you’re both reluctant to let each other go.
If they had any doubts you and Taehyung were together, they didn’t anymore.
-
“So, you’re pregnant?” The woman makes an arch over her stomach with her arm, “Baby?”
“Yep,” you fake smile, holding your belly and inwardly groaning. 
You walk aimlessly around the store, most of the shelves are empty now, apart from things like a row of pastel phone cases, this plastic thing that you can’t figure out what its supposed to be, hmm, it seems collapsible, but even the smaller size doesn’t make sense to you! And, ironically, you find a row of baby powder. Damn, even in the apocalypse people don’t forget how bad it is for you.
There’s the older gentleman, two women, and one of their boyfriend’s who stays behind in the store. Just wait, y/n. Wait. Did Taehyung forget how impatient you are?
“Bathroom?” you ask.
“Oh, it’s outside but we can’t go now. Wait. Later. Outside,” the woman, whom you learn is named Jinyoung, says, hoping you understand.
You sigh, you could make a fuss, you know pregnant women and their bladders, but you really don’t want to pee in a bucket somewhere inside here to prove a point. You flick the crumpled remains of some food packaging, sifting through the junk. Everything is empty apart from what you found, which Jinyoung promptly grabs from your grasp. “Oh, no, no good,” Jinyoung speaks up, “baby powder causes cancer.” You smile at her, laughing awkwardly.
The couple seems preoccupied at least, you think, they are all looking at you, however. You catch their eyes peering at you every so often. You feel like a caged animal putting on a show. This is an act in a way. 
The store is pretty clean despite having been ransacked. You could try and run upstairs to the living quarters, but you had no idea what was waiting up there for you. The front door is indeed blocked. The glass windows look thick, probably won’t break unless you throw something really heavy at it, and even if you want to escape, you won’t destroy their home to do it. The old man is standing guard by the back door, blocking your only exit. Ugh. 
It’s been awhile, at least a couple of hours now. You listen to the women whisper to one another while you try not to run head first into the glass like that zombie woman just so you can escape this place and search for Taehyung and the others.
“I knew there had to be a reason why he was with her.”
“He’s a good man, watching over her. They really care about each other.”
“Because she’s carrying his child, obviously.”
“That’s exciting though. A small Taehyungie, She’s so lucky.”
“Yeah, that’s going to be more people to feed.”
“It’s going to be the most beautiful baby, oh! You know, if she survives.”
“She definitely won’t.”
Mmm don’t think murderous thoughts, y/n. It’s bad for “the baby.” ‘It’s been too long, they should be here by now,’ you think. ‘Ok, screw this plan,’ you think, finding something you thought you’d never see again: a jar of gochujang paste.
“Hey old man, please will you move and open the door, I need to leave.”
“It’s not safe to go out alone, young lady. Your boyfriend should be back soon, don’t worry.”
“Are you holding me prisoner?”
“Of course not,” he says, flabbergasted not only by your accusation but your ability to speak fluently, “but I also will not allow you to put yourself in danger under my watch. I know we are strangers to you, for now, but we should still look out for one another-”
“Let her go if she wants to go!” one of the women says.
“I appreciate you saved my life, I really do. So this is a courtesy to you, I’m protecting you, from me.”
“What is she saying? She doesn’t make any sense.”
Ugh. “I’m bitten. I got bitten, and I’m going to turn, so let me out!”
“What?!” 
You lift up your shirt, “I didn’t want to say anything before, not in front of my…partner. But see, I have to go! You’re in danger the longer I’m in here!” You show him a scar on your side, where you have strategically placed the dark red paste to look like a bleeding bite mark.
“Kill her!”
“Or just let me leave?!”
“Oh my god, can we save the baby?”
“She’s not even showing! What are we gonna save?”
The younger man runs up to you, chasing you through the aisles. “Just let me go outside, damn.”
“Your Korean is so good!” Jinyoung exclaims.
“Thank you,” you say, barely dodging the man’s fist.
Suddenly, there is a pounding on the door, scaring everyone into silence. “Open the door!” Jinyoung exclaims.
“There’s a code,” the man waits. The pounding gets louder and quicker, rattling the door.
“What if they are in trouble! Open it!” you yell.
“What if it’s those biters?! We can’t let them in!”
“Hello, did you forget about me?!” you whine.
“OPEN IT!”
“Please, hurry!”
The older man relents, unlocking the door. And in bursts-
“Jin!” you cry out.
“OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD.” Namjoon, Hoseok, and Yoongi are right behind him. Someone, you can’t tell if it’s Jinyoung or the other woman, screams. 
Namjoon holds out his knife, pointing it at the old man. “We’re not going to hurt you, we just came to get our friend.” You run towards the singers as fast as your legs can take you.
There is another reason why you broke into pairs, so you could save each other. Namjoon grabs you first, pulling you into a hug. 
“She’s bitten, stay away from her!”
You pull out the gochujang from your pack, “Oh, I lied, sorry, I just really wanted to leave.”
“But t-the bite-”
“Fooled you, didn’t I? It does look like blood if you dilute it enough.”
“Oh my god, you found this?!” Seokjin asks excitedly.
“Let’s go!” Yoongi grunts.
-
“Where’s Taehyung?!” You jog up to the leader. 
“We’re getting there,” he says. You haven’t stopped running since leaving the store. 
Finally you see that moppy headed menace, running towards your group. “Next time YOU wait!”
“But my plan worked, didn’t it?”
“You really just had to tell them I’m pregnant?”
“Hey, I was doing it to protect you! I didn’t know if they might hurt you because of who you were.” Taehyung says, and the irony is not lost on you.
“How did you get away from those men?”
“It was pretty easy, I just said I was bit-”
“No way, me too!”
“How much longer do we have to run? My legs hurt!” Seokjin yells.
“Pace yourselves because it’s gonna be a while,” Hoseok says.
“Next thing we look for are some better shoes,” you whine.
A zombie runs towards your group, and you use the opportunity to take out your frustrations of the night, piercing through the monster’s jaw and up. The blood goes all over your clothes. Now you look just as dirty as the day before. “I just took a bath. UGH.”
“Don’t upset the baby!” Taehyung laughs, running away from you.
“Oh, you’re gonna get it!” you run. You turn the corner and find Jungkook, Jimin and Dev waiting for you. The group is now all together again, running into the night.
“So, anything new happen? How's the weather?” you ask Dev.
“Those zombies that were following us are taken care of,” Hoseok speaks up.
“We might have more than zombies following us now,” Taehyung adds. “Like living zombies, what are those called again?” he jokes.
“We ran into people too!” Jungkook says, running past you with ease. 
“Yeah?”
“They’re trying to get to Jeju!”
“Jeju, why?” Namjoon asks
“They said that’s the place with no zombies.”
“How do they know?” you ask, intrigued.
“Well they don’t, but that’s what others have told them and they sound pretty convinced.”
“Any news that’s not a rumor?”
“Y/n is pregnant with my child!”
“Yeah, that’s just a lie.”
Taehyung then goes into all the details you’ve learned about Seoul.
“So, we just have to figure out how to not get shot, convince them to let us in, and hope our families are somewhere inside?”
“I don’t think they would shoot BTS.” you say, confident.
“And we have no idea if any other place, if Big Hit, is a safe area or not.” Jin asks.
“I mean, it could be?”
“The odds are not great, but it’s not horrible odds, aye!”
“We’re gonna die.”
“Ugh shut up, Dev. We’re in Hongcheon and we’re doing…okay. I even found gochujang!”
“I can’t have spicy food.”
“UGH DEV PLEASE. It’s not even that spicy!”
“Damn, if only we had meat,” Jungkook sighs.
“Shhh Shh don’t do this to me now, I am running on fumes, literally.” Jin says.
“I want K-BBQ. Please god don’t let me die until I can have K-BBQ again,” Jungkook wails.
“Why are you laughing, y/n?”
“Nothing, it’s a bad joke. You don’t wanna know…also what are the odds a zombie has eaten a person that has been recently caught on fire?”
“Y/n!”
“BAHAHA.”
---
You wake up crying again.
Even in the bright daylight, your tired bodies were fast asleep. You ran all night, finally finding a suitable house that didn’t smell like death, and hid yourselves inside. You look over at the sleeping bodies around you, reflexively counting each head. Wait, what? Someone is missing!
You see the final head, leaning against the open door frame, looking outside. You move quietly and make your way over to him. “Yoongi?”
“Go back to sleep.”
“You should go back to sleep, you look exhausted,” you whisper.
“It was hard to sleep.”
“If you’re worried about someone standing guard, I can stay here.”
“It’s too sunny to sleep now.”
You sigh, giving up arguing with the rapper, sitting in silence with him.
“Why were you crying?” he asks, curious.
“I don’t know,” you laugh. “Sometimes I can remember the dreams, but most of the time I can’t, I just know it was probably something horrible.”
Yoongi has noticed the way you cry in your sleep, shake and whimper until someone holds you, only then will you calm down a bit, so the members take turns making sure you always have someone next to you when you’re resting. “I was thinking, once we get you guys to Seoul, I might try to go to Jeju,” you say wistfully.
“What about the Embassy?” he asks.
“What are they gonna do if they are still even there? How would they get me out of the country? I’m…not as confident that my family is still around.” You give Yoongi a sad smile.
“What about your family here?” You tilt your head, surprised by his words. “You’re gonna leave us?” he asks.
You bite your lip in thought. “I don’t know.” With the way everything changes so quickly, you had no idea what to anticipate. There are so many things that could happen before you reach Seoul and then after, you can’t even begin to figure out your future. “Do you want me to stay?”
Yoongi stays quiet. With you forever, is the implication. “Jeju is nice, I might go to Jeju too,” he says, not looking at you.
You smile at the thought. It’s nice to imagine what a trip there would have been like before the world turned upside down. You hold out your palm to him. “I promise to forget,” you tease.
He puts his fingers in between yours, holding your hand. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he says, thumb making circles into your skin when you rest your head on his shoulder. It’s pretty outside, in its own special way, how the trees and vines have covered everything now, how everything that’s abandoned sits still and serene. There’s even flowers, sprouting in the most unlikely places.
“Jimin’s mad at me.”
“He’s mad at me too.”
“He’s not mad at you,” Yoongi sighs. “I think he’s in love with you.” You freeze. “And I think you should give him a chance-” he continues. 
“Yoongi. It’s not that I don’t want to give Jimin a chance– Do you really think he’s in love with me?”
“Yea-”
“And if I wasn’t the only woman here do you think he would still be ‘in love’ with me?” you frown.
“Is that why-”
“I just don’t know, Yoongi, I don’t know if I can believe that. I don’t know if he really believes it, or just wants it to be true because I…I am-”
“The only woman here?” Yoongi finishes for you. You hum.
“That’s why you kissed me, right? And Namjoon, nevermind.”
Yoongi stays quiet, until finally asking, “And what do you feel?”
“I can’t, I can’t, I’m scared,” you start to laugh despite your welling eyes. “We almost died, again, last night, how can I let myself fall in love, if something happens, how can I survive that? I can’t.”
“And here I thought you were fearless,” Yoongi smirks, wiping away a stray tear.
You snort. “I’ve never been more scared.”
“You are my family,” you say, answering his previous question. “You are everything I have left. That’s how I feel.”
“Even Dev?”
You laugh, “Yes, even him…maybe.”
Yoongi watches you smile. He understands your fear, he’s felt it, let it consume him, weigh him down until he’s stuck inside himself, frozen by that fear. But this kind of new world forces you to face your demons. You can try to hide, alone, too scared to go outside and too scared to move, but he’s learned hiding in bed under the covers won’t keep you safe, won’t keep the people you love safe either. 
“It’s scary to put yourself out there. It was scary even before the world went to shit.”
“So did you have someone, before?”
Yoongi shakes his head. “No, not really. I was always so damn busy, it was hard to have anything serious. I would go into the studio, work all day, losing track of everything else, I told myself I had plenty of time to settle down. Funny now that I think about it.”
“After?” Yoongi sighs. He looks like he’s in pain, in thought. You hold his hand a little tighter out of reflex. “I’m sorry.” You assume, like most everyone else, the person he cared about is gone.
“To be honest, I can’t believe we made it this far,” you laugh, changing the subject. “You’ve got to have some new songs about all of this. Some, survivor-you-can’t-stop-me type song you’ve got.”
“Writing lyrics is not on the top of my to-do list right now.”
“Mhmm, you’re just collecting pens because you like them, right?”
“I have a few raps,” Yoongi confesses. “No music, no way to make a beat even if I want to.” You make a silent note to try to find Yoongi some kind of an instrument. “Music is gone.” 
“That’s a good song title. But I have to disagree, it’s not gone. I think there are songs everywhere just waiting to be written. This moment? There’s a song,” you look out at the landscape. “Hear it?” You hum a tune you feel.
Yoongi laughs. “You sound like Namjoon.” Namjoon. You can’t think about him without thinking about what happened. How did that even happen?! It was like some horny demon possessed both of you. 
You thought it would be awkward afterwards, but it wasn’t. You put on the clothes you laid out, handed him one of the shirts you found and you laughed when he tripped over his pants leg. Namjoon shoved you playfully, knocking you onto the bed. He looked at you without shying away and told you to put on some pants in a way that sounded like, “I like seeing you without any pants,” and then you both walked outside and acted like nothing ever happened.
But for some reason you can’t act like that with Yoongi, his kisses are haunting you still, his touch is still burning across your lips when you remember (even though you promised him you wouldn’t). You never really got a real answer from him.
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
You sit in comfortable silence. The others haven’t stirred awake yet, and you’re content to sit here with Yoongi until they do. You wonder about him, though. Is he happy you’re keeping him company or feeling burdened? Yet he hasn’t let go of your hand.
“You guys are close to one another, you and Joon,” Yoongi says in sort of a questioning way.
“Yeah, I guess. He takes on everyone’s burdens, even my own,” you sigh.
Yoongi nods. He should let go of you. You hum that tune again, looking outside, holding Yoongi’s hand tightly. Instead he clicks his tongue to the beat, making you laugh loudly. “Sorry, sorry.” You look back at the others who thankfully haven’t woken up from your outburst. “That’s good! So you can hear it too then, the song out there,” you joke.
He feels stuck, knowing his brothers want you, and knowing how it feels to kiss you, knowing how soft your lips are, and knowing he can’t kiss you again, he just can’t.
“You’re beautiful.”
You stop laughing.
Yoongi said it in English. 
When you know two languages, it’s hard to explain the differences in the words and how they make you feel. You’ve been called yeppeun. You’ve seen the word in textbooks, heard it in lyrics and Korean shows. 
But beautiful is what your first boyfriend called you right before he kissed you, what your childhood best friend called the butterfly that landed on your knee when you were playing together, what your mom said when she looked at you before you left the house on your first date, what your grandmother called you as a kid so many times when she consoled you and held you in her arms as you cried. “My beautiful girl.”
You’ve been speaking Korean for so long now. It just feels different being called beautiful. Beautiful is what you haven’t felt like in a long time...
“I’m sorry!” you pull away from Yoongi after surprising him with a kiss. 
Yoongi nods. He had wanted to kiss you in that moment so badly he hadn’t expected you would kiss him. It was too quick, it was barely a kiss. Is that really going to be his last kiss with you? “I can’t kiss you anymore.”
“I know, fuck, I’m sorry.” You pull away further, but can’t go far with Yoongi’s vice grip around your fingers.
“I can’t-”
“I’m sorr-”
“I’m sorry.” And he takes the opportunity to kiss you one last time, letting all his unspoken emotions flow through his lips, his tight embrace. He feels your soft lips one last time, he lets his fingertips run across your cheek, your neck, rolls his tongue inside his mouth just once more. He finally breaks away and lets his thumb run across your lip, just to feel one last time.
That should have been the end, yet your eyes start shining, glassy as tears start forming, and you close the gap between you again.
Until you hear something off in the distance. “Did you see that?”
Yoongi looks in the direction you’re studying. “No?” He looks for any sign of life or, well, animated death.
“I swear I saw something,” You both stand up, searching for any movement for a while until you give up. And now kissing Yoongi seems to be left in the past, another thing you can’t get back.
---
One last supply run in the city before you move again.
Everything is empty, this run is not looking very fruitful. You’ve gone to three restaurant already and have managed to find only one tiny can of edible food. You’ve just entered the fourth restaurant and it doesn’t look like this place has anything to offer either.
So far you haven’t encountered any undead, which is the only good thing about this run, until you hear a noise coming from the kitchen of a restaurant you, Jimin, Jungkook and Namjoon are currently searching through.
“Yo RM, come here.”
“What’s up? 
“I thought I heard something over there.”
You make your way through the kitchen. Everything is either gone or moldy. You sigh, “I don’t know if we’re gonna find anything here either.”
“This part of town seems completely empty.”
“What are we gonna do? We need to eat.” You go through another cabinet, finding nothing.
“We still have some food leftover. We can keep trying, stay here for a few more days and check the other streets.”
You nod. This restaurant looks like it specialized in fried chicken, the oil smells putrid now. What’s left in the freezer would probably kill you if you tried to eat it.
“Man, this sucks,” you wipe the sweat accumulating off your forehead.
“Can we do anything with this?”
“Flour? Mmm we could make the blandest pancakes you’ll ever eat,” you laugh.
Namjoon pouts. He pulls off his jacket. It’s safer to wear layers when out, but the days are getting hotter, and no aircon inside makes certain spaces really unbearable.
“You should keep that on,” you eye the way his muscles flex.
“I’m burning up.” You cover his forehead with your palm, checking his temperature. “Not like that-” and Namjoon uses a word you don’t understand.
“What does that mean?”
“Genius.” By the way Namjoon is smiling at you, you just know it means the opposite. “Ow!” he winces when you hit him, looking so accosted you start to giggle. Namjoon hugs you from behind, and the big towering giant he is decides to lift you off your feet, making you squeal.
“N-Namjoon, Y/n!” Jimin sounds scared.
The kitchen door opens. “Sorry to break up whatever this is, but it’s time to come out now and join the others. Oh, you know she was kissing Yoongi the other day, looks like I was right. You’ve got your own groupie whore.”
You knew you felt eyes on you. “Hey Minho.”
“Hey bitch.” He points a gun at you and Namjoon. 
Who the fuck gave this man a gun?
Minho ushers you both out into the eating area, where they are several men with various weapons all aimed at your friends. Minho is the only one with a gun, though.
“I told you I would make you regret choosing her,” he says to Namjoon, sneering at you.
Minho looks possibly even more buff than you remember.  “I made new friends,” he smirks. His new friends look very unfriendly. They lounge around, overly confident, looking amused by the situation. 
“Of course you did,” you grunt. He pushes Namjoon towards Jungkook and Jimin and separates you from the others. 
“I just needed to have been an idol, then you would have given it up, yeah?” he whispers in your ear, grabbing the knives from your pockets and throwing them on the ground.
You roll your eyes. “You’re following us? That’s not creepy at all.”
“Where are the others?” Minho asks Namjoon. He grabs the back of your neck and holds the gun to your temple when Namjoon doesn’t speak. “Where are they?”
“Searching the restaurant next door. We’re only staying a couple more days, then we’ll leave this city.”
“Still believe you can make it to Seoul, huh?”
“Just let us go.”
“We will, after you give us your backpacks. Hurry up now.” The three men glare at him but relent, handing the thieves their packs.
“Don’t you have anything better to do?” you ask him.
“Nope,” Minho smirks. “Okay, you can leave now,” he points his gun at the leader.
“Wait, him too.” One of the men speaks up, pointing at Jimin.
“No. The deal was her.”
“Well the deal has changed, I want him too,” he eyes Jimin up and down. Namjoon and Jungkook instantly hide Jimin with their bodies.
You struggle in Minho’s hold. “Minho, what are you doing? What deal did you make with them?!”
Minho stares at Jimin. “Anyone else but him.”
The man looks between the singers. “He’s the prettiest, I want him.”
Minho pauses. Even if he wanted to hurt Namjoon, he still felt a sense to protect Jimin. It had been his job for so many years, and then it had been his decision to keep protecting the singers even after his position wasn’t official any longer. You, he didn’t care about you. But Jimin, deep down, he still cared about him. He couldn’t let something horrible happen to him, not when Minho could stop it.
Minho exhales exasperatedly. “Not him,” he says, pointing the gun at the thief.
“Minho, come on now, you and I both know there’s no bullets in that gun.” What? You elbow Minho in the stomach, running towards the kitchen when he doubles over in pain.
“Grab her!” one of the thieves yells.
Namjoon punches one of the men too distracted by you. Jungkook lunges for your knives on the ground and unleashes all the pent up fury he’s felt on the unlucky few who had tried to hold down the singer. Namjoon and Jimin exchange looks with Minho.
They charge the thieves.
---
“Leave me alone!” You swing a pan in the thief’s face as he swings his knife and both metal pieces clang together. You fall hard on the kitchen tile as he lunges at you. There’s more men, all armed, all coming for you, and the only weapon you have is a stupid pan!
-
You feel like you’re hyperventilating, trapped in such a small space. You bang on the door, crying. It finally opens and someone is shoved inside with you. He’s cut, bruised, thoroughly beat up.
“Piss off your new friends?”
“Not really, we’re going to finish what we started, yeah?”
“Touch me and I'll kill you.”
“I would like to see you try.”
“What happened? They didn’t take Jimin, did they?!” you ask, horrified.
“No, they escaped,” Minho grunts, thumb running over his cut lip.
“Oh. Good,” you say, relieved.
Minho laughs. “And you? Did you forget you’re their prisoner? They are going to do whatever they want to you?”
“If the others escaped, they’ll come for me.”
“You’ve got them whipped for you, must be really good pussy.”
“Ugh, maybe I’m more to them than just a hole, you fuck?”
“You really think they would give you a second glance under normal circumstances?”
“No! I don’t!” you scream. God, he pisses you off. “I thought you would have, that’s why I kissed you! Big mistake that fucking was.”
“So what, you kissed me because you thought I would lower my standards for you?” he jabs. 
Oh, this fucker! He says that like he wasn’t flirting with you for months on end before you kissed him. “You know what?” you cross your arms, “Yeah, I did, Minho. I thought maybe, just maybe, it would be nice to try and have something more with you so we wouldn’t have to, you know, die alone in an apocalypse. But then you ended up being the most vile despicable jackass-”
Minho throws your body against the door, arm pressed against your throat. “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! This is all your fault! You ruined everything!”
The door opens just in time for you to catch in oxygen before you pass out. “Will you two shut the hell up! Take her to my room,” he says to one of his men, “Minho, you had your turn, now it’s mine.” It’s that thief, the one who wanted Jimin, the one who seems to be in charge. You scream until the wind is kicked out of you. “Don’t hit her face.”
You crumble inward, trying to cover your body from their kicks until one lifts you up, carrying you over his shoulder while you scream and cry.
-
Shit, the windows are boarded up. The bed, like everything in this building, looks disgusting. Everything else, you notice grimacing, is barren, like this room only had one purpose.
The door slides open.
“Okay girl, we can do this the hard way or the easy way.”
“I’m not easy.” You move to the furthest corner, pressing yourself up against the filing cabinet. You just had to wait, you are an expert at waiting, you tell yourself. You can do this, whatever happens, you can move past this, you tell yourself. Horrible things happen to you all the time, you’re just gonna have to add this to the tally.
“Good, I prefer the hard way.”
Please, god, let them find you soon.
You’ve met men like this before, men that think you owe them something just because you’re a woman. “Smile more,” men who think your body is for their eyes, created for their hands and their mouths and their-
You bite down on his hand, digging your nails into his face. He hits you, hard, but not hard enough to knock you out thankfully. He’s not that kind of man, at least, you think bitterly. He is the kind of man who has no qualms making you know how much stronger he is than you, making it hurt, wants you pretty but also will give you a black eye for daring to go against him. There’s so many men like that now. You feel lucky knowing you have men around you that don’t act like that.
You scream again.
---
Jungkook leaps up the stairs, taking two at a time. He’s in the lead. He’s always been fast, but this time, after months of running from monsters, and an insane amount of stamina, he’s like lightning.
This office building is small, but there are so many floors, and they’ve already cleared the first two without finding you. But Jungkook has a suspicion the men he’s searching for are on the top floor, so he trusts his gut and he races to find you.
Jungkook is the first to open the door to a group full of men surprised to have a visitor. He stays in the stair well, he’s not crazy enough to run in there alone yet, since the others haven’t caught up to him. He still has to keep a level head, let them come to him, let him knock each one of those bastards out. He grabs another and throws him over his back and down the stairs where his brothers are about to arrive.
Maybe Jungkook is a little crazy at this point, he throws someone over the railing into the open space between stairwells and the man screams as he falls five flights down, body clanging onto metal as his bones break. Jungkook uses his arms to defend from knives and gets his jacket and skin sliced in the process, yet he keeps on swinging while blood drips down his fists. Yeah, Jungkook is a bit crazed, but he has good reason to be as he hears you scream again for help.
He runs inside once he has his brothers behind him. He runs towards the sound of your screaming, knocking away anyone who gets in his way. He feels his restraint slipping, he feels like he might enjoy killing whoever is hurting you. It’s already been too long, your voice sounds small and broken. He throws his full weight into the locked door, knocking into the wood with his shoulder until the lock busts.
“Don’t even think about it.” You have a knife to your neck, your body shielding the man who has you captive, just another way he’s found to use your body. “Let me go and I won’t kill her.”
“Let her go or I will kill you.” The fighting has stopped. It’s clear to both men who won as Namjoon and Seokjin arrive to help Jungkook. The man holds onto you a bit tighter, he realizes he might be the only one left and by the look in his eyes he’s planning on surviving until the very end. He shuffles your bodies closer to the door, closer to his escape.
It’s an achingly slow pace as he makes sure no one can attack him from behind. He looks at the bodies of his men on the ground, realizing just how dangerous this group of yours is, he should have never made a deal with that damn Minho, he should have let him fight his own battles, now he’s standing in a graveyard of his own men.
You pass by each member and you can’t make eye contact, you let your tears silently fall, let your body be pulled in hopes it will all be over soon. He finally makes it to the stairwell, relieved. “Give me your word you won’t follow me and I’ll let you have her.”
“Fine,” Namjoon speaks for the group.
He presses his knife into your neck. “That doesn’t sound too convincing.”
Suddenly, his grip lessens. He drops his knife and, finally, you can get away. You turn around and see his surprised wide eyes. You feel just as shocked as he looks when he makes a gurgling noise instead of speaking.
And suddenly Dev’s equally shocked face pops up from behind the man’s shoulder.
He had been too scared to enter the office room, but looks like he hadn’t been too scared to stab the man holding you in the back of the neck. “I did it. I killed him,” he says, equally excited and petrified as the man falls onto the ground.
You look at him in shock. “Yeah.”
---
“He’s bleeding!”
“Taehyung, no…”
“Shit, I’ve never been stabbed before, this hurts.” Taehyung winces.
“Oh god, how do we stop the bleeding,” Jimin asks, panic rising in hiss voice.
Namjoon answers, “There’s one way, we have to burn it with something hot. Find a small knife-” 
“I’m going to be stabbed twice?!”
“Wouldn’t it be better to, like, stitch it, with a needle or something?” Taehyung grimaces, the thought of being sewn together without any pain medicine is making him feel sick.
“What about the internal bleeding?”
“Oh god.”
“You’re going to be fine, your body just needs to heal...someone start a fire!”
“OH GOD.”
“Jungkook, I’m fine, go help them,” you tell him. Jungkook doesn’t believe you are fine at all. Your eye is swollen, your shirt is missing buttons, your neck is bruised and who knows what else he can’t see is bruised. 
“You’re bleeding too?!”
“Oh,” Hoseok winces, clutching his side. “Yeah, it’s not as bad as Taehyung.” Except it does look as bad as Taehyung’s wound. Hoseok's whole left side is covered in blood. You start to cry again, feeling responsible. 
Jin is the one who cauterizes the wounds. Namjoon and Jungkook holds the members down. Hoseoks passes out but Taehyung somehow stays conscious, screaming bloody murder the entire time. It’s going to be another memory that will have you up at night, crying and shaking when you remember his shrieking. This safe house you’re in has a fair amount of supplies and an excessive amount of alcohol. They use it to sanitize the wounds as best they can. 
“You helped us escape. I’m not going to kill you,” Namjoon tells Minho, who sits on the floor, hands duct taped.
“I’m going to kill him!” Jungkook yells.
“No, you won’t,” Namjoon says, calming the youngest down. He turns to Minho. “What do you know about this place? Is there a pharmacy around.” He stays defiantly silent. “Minho!” The leader looks ready to kill, even after his promise not to.
“They won’t be anything left.”
“We have to try, let’s go. Get up!” He yanks the former bodyguard up.
“I’ll be right back, okay?” Jungkook says to you. “I’ll look for something for you too,” he says, so softly. You just nod, worried if you were to open your mouth you might start wailing.
Jin is left with Jimin and Yoongi to take care of the two wounded members and you. “I’m so sorry,” you cry, holding onto Taehyung’s hand. 
“This isn’t your fault, don’t blame yourself. You’ve saved me more times than I can remember, I’m sorry we didn’t find you sooner,” he winces.
Jimin holds Taehyung’s other hand. “You’re going to get better, don’t worry, and then you’ll have a cool scar.” Jin and Yoongi are tending to Hoseok who thankfully hasn’t woken up from the pain yet. Yoongi brushes the hair out of Hoseok’s face, cleaning up the blood he finds on his skin. He’s meticulous and careful about it. Jin asks you if you want help cleaning the blood off you too. “Don’t worry about me.”
“Let him help you,” Jimin says.
“We can do it later, I don’t want to be…touched right now.” You mumble. 
“Were you-”
“Don’t push her right now, Jin.” Jimin speaks up for you. 
Jimin holds out his free hand to you, letting you take it if you want. You do. He makes you feel grounded and safe. And you feel small and weak and tired at the same time. You lie down next to Taehyung, bringing your knees into your body, you hug yourself into his side, crying.
Jimin mirrors your actions, resting for now. As long as he holds both your hands, and he can keep an eye on both of you, he can allow himself to relax and recover just for the moment.
Seokjin rubs his face, exhausted. Yet his body still feels wound up and anxious, he can’t relax just yet. He works to clean the space of death. He drags the bodies left inside and heaves them over the railing, creating a pile of corpses at the bottom, hoping it will become a deterrent for any other hostile strangers and then works to make food for when you all wake up, doing what he can to help. He tries to remain positive, he tells himself it could have been so much worse. 
“There was no penicillin. Nothing, not even Tylenol.”
You wake up hearing Namjoon’s voice but keep your eyes closed as the men talk. “And Hoseok has a fever,” Yoongi says.
“I’ve searched this place from top to bottom, they have enough liquor to drown a regiment and no damn medicine,” Jin says.
You stand up on shaky legs. “ I know where we might find medicine.”
---
“Maybe they’re not there.”
“No, there’s a code for knocking, I don’t know it.”
“Hey, we know you’re in there. Please open the door. We need your help, please! We’ll give you anything.”
You hear the door click, and you see the weary faces of the group you left. You explain to them the situation, hoping they have some medicine to trade you or at least know where you might find some medicine. “I have something that could help.” The woman who isn’t Jinyoung holds up half a bottle of pills. “This is amoxicillin I found a while ago.”
“We’ll trade you anything for it.”
The woman thinks for a bit and finally decides. “Seokjin.”
“WHAT?!”
“Just for the night.”
“WHAT?!”
“Fine. yeah, I’ll do it.”
“Wait a fucking a minute, no!” Her boyfriend speaks up. “Honey, are you crazy?!” He turns to your group. “You have food, don’t you? Give us that instead.”
“And Seokjin!”
“Have you lost your mind?!”
“Honey, stay out of this?”
“You’re really going to cheat on me?”
“Oh please, don’t act like you have been soo faithful to me! Before our city was attacked you would come home past midnight almost every night!”
“I was with my coworkers!!”
“Yeah, with Eunji, right? That slut you worked with!!”
You turn to Namjoon, Yoongi and Seokjin while the couple continues to argue, saying “That’s not enough medicine for both of them…”
“It’s better than nothing.”
“There is a house four blocks from here. A pharmacist used to live there. There might the medicine you’re looking for there,” Jinyoung speaks up. “I c-can take you!” She says, her face turning red.
“Okay, Namjoon, you and Yoongi go with her, and I’ll stay here with y/n and…get the other medicine.”
“Seokjin, y-you don’t have to do this,” you say incredulously. Namjoon and Yoongi agree.
“Stop. Yes I do! If this can save them, I will.” Seokjin glares at the three of you, already making up his mind.
Seokjin looks so serious. He looks angry, yet determined. He is putting on a brave face, you want to cry for him. “Jin…” 
“It’s okay, y/n.” He turns to the group. “Yeah, okay, deal. Food and me.” 
“I’ll help you look for the medicine too,” Jinyoung’s boyfriend says, looking over at the idols wearily.
“Hey young lady, I have something for your eye.” The old man says. You sit waiting, once more, in this store, waiting for Namjoon and Yoongi to return, for Jin and that horrible women to be done with whatever she is doing to him upstairs, waiting and hoping Taehyung and Hoseok are okay.
“It’s alright.” You sit with your knees pulled in, much less in the mood to talk than before, sick to your stomach, body aching. The four of you were so beaten and bruised, it’s taken you a couple days to find this place again, what if you get back and it’s already too late?
“I don’t expect anything in return for it, it’s in good faith, I promise you.”
You start to cry, your head buried in your knees.
He sighs, puts his hands on his knees to stand up and moves towards you hesitantly. “Look up for me.” He puts on some antiseptic gel from a tube that looks almost empty, carefully applying the gel to the cuts and bruises around your eye.
“Thank you,” you mumble.
“I’m happy to help.”
Waiting for Seokjin to come downstairs feels like an eternity. The boyfriend sits in the corner away from you, completely dejected. You wish you had some kind words to give him, but you have nothing nice left to say, after everything you’ve went through.
Jin enters first, walking silently over to you and sitting down. The distance between you feels so far away. He’s clutching the bottle of pills so tightly the tips of his fingers are red.
You glare at the women when she finally comes downstairs. What the hell is wrong with her? How could she take advantage of the situation like that? How could she use Seokjin like that, what kind of fan is she?!
You move your body slightly so from where she’s sitting, now next to her miserable boyfriend, she can’t see Seokjin. You want to protect him from her. Just thinking about what she could have done to him makes you want to rip out her eyes, makes you think about what was done to you. She deserves the same fate as that man. 
You haven’t looked at Jin. You know if you do, and see his expression, see your own self in his eyes, you might really try to kill her. 
Namjoon and Yoongi come back looking accomplished and put you in hopeful spirits. You say goodbye one last time to the group. You hug Jinyoung, thanking her. Yoongi and Namjoon hug her goodbye too and she turns an even brighter shade of red, smiling happily and clutching a book to her chest, a medicinal plant book she found in the pharmacist's house that she shyly asked the rappers to sign when they were waking back to the store. They happily obliged, grateful because they found just what they were looking for thanks to her.
-
“Have you ever given someone a shot before?” you ask wearily.
“There’s a first time for everything,” Jin mumbles. The penicillin bottle has a few doses, so they decide to split it evenly amongst both members. The pills are being saved if they need more medicine.
Jungkook pulls you aside. “They found Tylenol for you and I found this if you need it.” He hands you a few Tylenol and another box of pills. You’ve never seen those Korean characters together. You ask him, “what is it?”
“It’s a pill to take if you, um, if you need it, if so, so they won’t be any pregnancies if you take it,” he stutters.
You nod, taking the Tylenol and pocketing the pills and glancing over to Jin who seems to be diligently looking over Taehyung and Hoseok, a hard frown etched across his face.
“I’m ready for help, if you want to help me. I can ask Namjoon, if you’re not feeling up to it anymore,” you ask Jin. Jin stands up, happy to do something to take his mind off things.
You didn’t want to go into any of the rooms on the top floor, so you and Seokjin walk quietly one flight down.
This office space looks like it used to be full of computers, there’s electrical pieces littered around the floor like someone came and used each one for target practice. You both sit in two beaten up office chairs. “I’ve never bathed myself with alcohol before,” you mutter, bemused. Pulling off your jacket. You notice there’s already bruises forming on your arms. 
Seokjin works to clean off the dried blood from your neck where the knife was pressed. “I’m sorry,” Seokjin says, looking over the bruises.
“I’m sorry too,” you say, trying to catch his eyes, but he won’t look up. “I wish I could take a shower, wash everything away.”
“Yeah,” Seokjin agrees. His eyes start to water, worrying you.
“Do you want a hug?” You ask. He nods. The plastic pieces crunch under your shoes as you move closer, hugging him gently, letting him decide if he wants more. He wraps his arms around you, hugging you tightly and you bite your tongue to keep yourself from yelping when he touches a bruise on your back. He pulls you into his lap. You feel safe and held together in his embrace. And Seokjin feels the chaos inside him finally settling. 
You were both taken advantage of differently, but in that moment it didn’t matter, you both felt the same kind of anger and injustice, for yourselves, and for one another. And in that moment you both just wanted to be held by someone you loved, hoping to erase the touches left by those before. 
You watch Jin break down the door to the break room inside this office. It only takes him three hits with his shoulder. You rush forward, your knife raised, worried you’ll find a monster inside. No monsters, only-“No way.”
“That’s a lot of ramen.”
You and Jin look at each other smiling. There’s enough snacks for days! This discovery might not equal all the pain you’ve both endured, but it was a nice shift, it only takes the slightest push to turn things around. Jin is smiling again now and that is worth celebrating. You make a silent promise to yourself that you’ll bring some to Jinyoung and the old man before leaving Hongcheon. Goodness still needs to be rewarded. Happiness still needs to be celebrated.
---
Looks like Taehyung and Hoseok are in the bottom of the poll. I decided readers will have more input into the story this way. Yoongi seems like a fan favorite (for now) so I hope you enjoyed his relationship progression with y/n, and poor Taehyung and Hoseok, well, I’ll let readers decide, what might happen next chapter? Go vote!
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funnily enough, season 3 changed how i view and write the royal family. and i mean every single member lmao
erik was not as perfect or as kind as a lot of us hoped for as and wille believed. he could be cruel and was likely just as unhappy as wille was as crown prince. he was just more willing and skilled at hiding it. this kind of creates an interesting view into how their sibling dynamic was so different from their actual selves. or at least it was for erik. in my mind, erik grew up knowing he was going to take over the throne and therefore felt like he kind of had to split himself off into different personas-showing a different part of who he really was to certain people so that everyone could stay in his corner (like a good king would i guess). so much so that no one, not even his parents or wille or august, can ever get a true grasp on who erik was.
wille didn’t grow up like that. he grew up very similarly, but he didn’t have the expectation of ruling an entire country. he was more of a “what if” and “just to be safe” option. he was an afterthought, and rather than split his personality into different pieces of himself, he instead became more of a recluse who yearns for love but never receives it in the way he needs. so he is only ever fully himself when he’s around people who can reciprocate his yearning for kindness and care. the people who he feels safe with. erik was that for him even though erik, unbeknownst to him, wasn’t who he really thought. and simon eventually became that safety net as well. but by that time he had become crown prince. and to be the crown prince, he was gonna have to adapt like erik had. and wille was never good at pretending for the sake of others, so the crown prince persona ended up intruding onto the real wille until simon could no longer recognize him.
kristina is neglectful and ludvig is a silent passenger in it all. these are things i already knew but i feel like season 3 gave me so much more to work with in terms of their family dynamic. wille loves them both and was going crazy with guilt at the thought of kristina’s mental health deteriorating because of him. wille blames himself a lot, which makes me believe that the two of them had no problem doing that before. blaming wille for scandals or tiny mistakes he made. so much so that wille ended up convincing himself that everything that goes wrong is somehow his fault. just bad bad parents. do i think they love wille? yea im sure they do, but the crown clearly comes first for them and wille honestly deserves so much better. he deserves to be loved in a way that is reciprocal and not based on condition. kristina loved erik so much because erik wasn’t just her firstborn but was also the perfect crown prince. he listened and followed order and played puppet. wille was obviously much more difficult, and since she couldn’t show her love for him by praising his behavior, she just didn’t show him it
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