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#i have a lot more thoughts on him but i’ll save it for the essay
shawnxstyles · 10 months
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we need a part two when they finish the project please
sweetheart (part 2)
warnings: smut; (f- receiving [fingering, clit stimulation], praise kink, protected sex, slight cock-warming, dirty talk), and tiny fluff
note: i’m soooo sorry i haven’t been as active. once june starts i’ll be able to write more and post more stories, but right now i’m super busy. i have a few fics right now that i’ve started, but haven’t gotten the chance to sit down and finish them. so for now, please accept this blurb 😖 sweetheart part 1
you’ve always had a liking for school, in every aspect. unlike most people, you enjoyed doing homework and projects because it helped you understand the material you were learning. specifically, you adored science. you thought that the facts and what-ifs of the universe were fascinating, and you wouldn’t mind spending your whole life experimenting to discover new things. you absolutely loved chemistry and found it fun to analyze different equations to see what substance creates which reaction.
but right now, you’ve never hated science more.
peter is sitting on his computer typing away on the essay portion while you’re trying to focus on writing the poster. in all honesty, he gave you the easier job and you’re grateful, but you can’t seem to focus. not after he had his warm mouth on your pussy only two hours ago. every few moments, you would peek at peter’s fingers typing. you were getting so desperate to the point that each word he typed sent a tingle down your belly. when you two made light conversation, you swear his voice got a little deeper each time, and the rumbly rasp nearly sent you flying onto his lap.
“y/n, did you hear me?” you did not hear him.
“huh?” you blinked a few times, shaking all your dirty thoughts of his fingers from you. but they looked so rough and they moved so quickly, just like they did in you—
“are you okay?” no, you were not okay.
“uh, yeah, i’m fine,” you lied because you just wanted to finish the project, so peter could withhold his promise. that promise was the only thing getting you through this poster. there seemed to be a million facts and a lot of diagrams.
“what’d i say about lying?” peter asked with a head tilt and an octave-lower voice, his fingers halting on the keyboard. your heart skipped an erratic beat and your pencil dropped onto the poster paper.
“d-don’t do it.”
“good, you remembered,” he smirked subtly before typing away again. you take shallow breaths, wondering how he takes away your breath so easily.
the pulsing need of your clit and the burning of your stomach keep you from focusing. after ten minutes of hazily writing and sketching nonsense, you swallow your fear.
“peter, i was wondering if…we could take a break?” you suggested, pencil spinning around your anxious finger.
“sure, that sounds good,” he replies, but not the way you wanted him to. you watch as he saves his progress and closes his computer before walking around the kitchen island. he grabs two cups of water and hands one over to you when you appear at his side.
“oh, i’m not thirsty,” you smile to deny his offer.
“but you will be,” peter says nonchalantly before taking a smooth sip of his water. you feel the all-too familiar blush cascade across your neck as your eyes wander around the floor.
“are you all shy now? you didn’t seem to be when you were checking me out earlier,” peter taunts with a fake-innocent smile and places his glass on the counter. your eyes go wide for a moment, embarrassed that you were caught. “what? you didn’t think i saw you looking at me like you were going to jump on me? i know needy eyes when i see them, baby.”
the overwhelming heat of your skin fogs up your brain, making it impossible to focus on anything but the words leaving his lips. you’re silently begging him to touch you, to mend that ache in your cunt with his rough fingers. and hopefully, his cock. god, you want to see and feel his cock more than anything. you bet it would stretch you out for a whole week.
you swear you’re not normally like this.
“something’s on your mind,” peter observes with squinted eyes and a hand under his chin. “what is it?”
oh, just the idea of you fucking me into oblivion that’s all is what you wanted to say, but of course you didn’t. you mumbled out some gibberish that he couldn’t understand.
“i can’t hear you, sweetheart,” his words were so condescending, and in some twisted way, it turned you on so much.
“your promise,” you finally said, looking at his eyes. with each passing moment they grew from brown to shades darker.
“oh, i see,” peter tsks, “please, remind me what my promise was again? i seem to have forgotten.”
peter just loves games. especially the ones where he can feel your skin radiating fiery heat and watch your body squirm in its place. like he has all night, he’s been able to smell your arousal throughout the two hours you’ve been working. it utterly killed him to sit steady and type some scientific essay that wasn’t nearly as entertaining as your moans or ogasmic face. it was even worse knowing that you were just as desperate, but most likely didn’t want to interrupt your guys’ work time. what an angel you were.
but right now, peter’s never wanted to do more sinful things.
“you said…” how does he say such dirty words with ease? “you said we could continue what we were doing earlier.”
you lean your back against the counter, heart beating erratically in your chest as you try to remain cool. but your entire body was on fire and your clit was throbbing in your soaked underwear, so it was pretty difficult to stay focused.
“and what was that? use your words,” peter softly demands, licking his lips smugly. a never-ending heat cascades through your body, making your heart beat faster than ever. you breathe in, trying to get the courage to be so upfront.
“you said you would…fuck me,” you surprised yourself when you said the words. they sounded even bolder than you would have thought. every little moment he doesn’t say anything makes you think he’s just going to laugh at you. at this point, you think you’ve gone insane because you can no longer feel your heart beating. just the impending silence dangling between you two.
“good girl. now i remember,” peter smiles proudly and inches his way closer to you. his hand snakes up your neck and caresses your jaw. his thumb plays innocently with your bottom lip as your trembling breath huffs out. he could do whatever he wanted to you, and you would let him. “it wouldn’t be very nice if i didn’t keep my promise, would it?”
“no,” you waver out. your legs are stiffened together and your eyes are straining on his every move.
peter solely smirks before leaning down to kiss you. like the movies, his kiss is soft and pleasant. the way your lips molded together caused such an intense chemical reaction, and you would love to experiment on it. multiple times. every day. you would kiss him as many times as you could. you never would forget the magnetic feeling of his lips on yours.
your hands get lost in his brown hair, twisting their way through his ends. you’re so lost within his kiss that you didn’t even comprehend when he said “jump,” but you subconsciously listened and leaped into his hold. peter carried you to his bedroom, which you have been dying to see since you walked through the door. you believed someone’s bedroom said a lot about them.
however, you were too focused on other things to analyze peter’s bedroom. peter delicately lays you onto his black sheets, still kissing you like the world is ending. he slowly makes his way down your warm neck as you hum at the feeling. knowing what’s coming, you don’t wait for peter to ask permission behind discarding your own shirt. you close your eyes and tell yourself to not be self-conscious. he’s already seen you naked, so why be nervous?
seeing this, peter frowns slightly. his rough fingertip taps lightly on your temple. “open. wanna see your pretty eyes.”
your stomach tingles at his words before obeying his request. instead of smirking, peter smiles goofily and then kisses your cheek. a wave of warmth erupts through your skin at his affection. your entire body was covered in flames at this point, and you wondered if you would even be alive to get to the good part.
his tough hands roam your supple skin in hopes of exploring every inch. the rough texture left tingles in its trail.
“jeans?” he asks, looking up at you for approval.
“yes. please, peter,” you rushed and pleaded. your clit was begging for some friction, and you were about to start crying if you didn’t get something.
“gotta tell me what you want, sweetheart,” peter sang, thumbs rubbing the supple skin of your inner thighs teasingly. you wavered out a shaky breath, trying to conjure up the words.
“i need you so bad it hurts,” you whimpered. you were honest with peter, but your words weren’t what he wanted.
“i bet it does, baby. but that’s not what i asked,” peter flicks your clit through your underwear causing you to gasp at this unexpected movement. your thighs twitch and tighten at his teasing. he does it a few more times, just to get your body even more excited, and to get you to finally speak up.
“f-fuck! peter, i need your cock. i-i need you to fuck me,” you shouted, louder than you intended, but that was even better for peter.
“look who’s using her words,” peter says smugly, making your roll your eyes. you both assist in shrugging your panties off, making you completely naked while peter is still fully dressed. you reach for his shirt, but he’s already a step ahead of you and pulls it off himself.
when you see his body, you swear you almost faint. peter had six bulky packs of muscle on his abdomen and lumps of muscle on his arms. his chest was buff and tight, yet looked soft all at the same time. you had to blink a few times to make sure he was real. you even poked a finger at his stomach just to make sure it didn’t go through him like a ghost or a hologram. peter chuckles at your antics before grabbing your hand and kissing it, just like he had done earlier in the evening. and just like earlier, you felt yourself blush profusely and feel tingly all over again.
while you’re smiling like a goof, peter’s hands resume on your body. you instantly stop smiling because you remembered just how much he’s deprived you. but he’s also given you more than anyone else has in the past…
his digits caress your soaking slit between your crossed legs. you gasp because he’s finally touching you bare.
“open,” he demands softly, voice deep and lustful. shakily, you listen and do so. peter doesn’t hesitate to find your lips again with his fingers.
you quietly moan at the delicate pressure, feeling the smallest bit of friction. just as you were about to beg him for more, or to hurry up, his middle finger slips inside of you. it was almost embarrassing how easy it was. the amount of wetness you were leaking could fix the california drought.
“god, you’re so wet. what made you like this?” peter slowly pushed his finger in and out, thumb circling your puffy clit at the same time.
“you, peter! fuck,” you clenched around his digit, needing release already.
“are you thinking about my cock? hmm?” peter questioned, voice gravely as he leans over you. “are you thinking about me inside of you? thinking about how much i’m going to stretch your little pussy out?”
you groan at his foul language, pulsing barbarically. you’re straining to keep your eyes open, trying to obey his earlier request and to intake the moment. peter urges you to come, increasing his thrusts and pace. before you know it, your core is tightening and you’re squeezing peter’s fingers until you do. you thought you cut off his circulation from how hard you were clutching onto him, but when he pulls his fingers away and licks them proudly, you knew he was just fine.
“taste so good, sweetheart,” a smirk dances upon his lips as your taste lingers in his mouth. he’ll never forget that taste, no matter what happens after tonight. he’s hoping there will be more nights like these. more days too.
“can you please fuck me now, peter?–”
he holds up a finger to your lips.
“all of a sudden you know how to use your words and it still sounds so dirty coming from your pretty lips.”
in the blink of an eye, peter is reaching over to his night stand to grab a condom (hopefully). when you see the tinfoil wrapping, he stuffs it between your teeth, making you hold onto it. you then watch as he undresses his pants, clearly taking all the time in the world like he has it.
the smell of your orgasm and your wetness is haunting peter’s senses. the scent of you is never going to rid from his body or his room. he also doesn’t ever want you to leave, so he’s going to drag this out as long as possible.
once his pants are finally off, you get the courage to undo the wrapper while he’s taking his underwear off. holding the condom, you almost drop it once you see his length. he’s big, bigger than you’ve ever had. the tip of cock is bright red and leaking a bit of pre-cum, clearly just as desperate as you.
“fuck,” you mumble when looking at him. all he does is smirk before taking the condom from your hand and putting it over himself. peter leans over you again, face over face.
“ready, sweetheart?” his smirk lingers while you clench around nothing. you can feel the overwhelming sensation of your clit throbbing and you just want him to mend it. “ready to be fucked so hard you can’t leave?”
“yes, peter. fuck me hard.”
with your final words, peter is gently sinking into you. your wet folds encompass his cock snuggly causing you both to groan in delight. after a few moments, he starts to rock his body and you release a string of moans with every thrust. you try your hardest to keep your eyes open, but fail to do so. the sensations are indescribable throughout your body.
peter’s actions get harder, rougher. just like you wanted. he’s flicking his hips into yours with skilled movements while his face is relaxing in the crease of your neck. you feel his warm breath on you as he groans into your ear, lighting your whole body on fire.
“shit, peter, it feels so good. don’t stop,” you whine when he hits a certain part inside of you. your hand creeps down in between you both to rub the ache in your clit, but peter stops you.
“love when you touch yourself,” he grunts, never halting his movements, “but that’s my job right now.”
so, peter begins harshing rubbing your clit to no end. instead, your hands squeeze tightly on his biceps while he pounds into you so hard, you see stars. your never-ending wetness makes it so easy for him to slip in and out.
you feel yourself clutch onto his cock and when he moans, he sounded like the best thing you’ve ever heard.
“i-i love when you moan,” you croaked out, feeling too blissful to speak coherently.
“yeah? what else do you like?” peter huffs out, still smug as ever, even when he’s deep inside of you.
“l-love when you talk dirty, peter.”
“knew you were fucking filthy.”
with his rough words, you’re on the brink of your orgasm. your core tightens like it did earlier and your nails are digging deliciously into his skin. peter hisses in pleasurable pain, loving what you’re doing to him.
as your orgasm flows over you, your heart beats a million miles an hour and your breathing becomes staggered. the moans you elicit were just as filthy and pornographic as…well a porno. as you came, peter was smiling the whole time.
peter twitched inside of you and that’s when you knew he was close. you tangled your hands in his hair one last time and gave a single tug. that simple movement caused him to groan deeply and bring him to his release.
he doesn’t pull out quite yet. he just rests inside of you with his head on your chest. then after a few moments, he goes to get up.
“don’t leave,” you whisper and slide your hand through his locks again.
“it’s my place, baby, i’m not leaving,” he chuckles and slowly pulls out. you whimper at the loss of his cock, and at the feeling of being stretched out to the max.
“peter, i think you ruined me,” your voice cracked because it was hoarse and dry. you definitely needed some water now.
“good. are you thirsty now, sweetheart?”
tags: @invisibletrolleyson-jeremy @lnmp89 @crybabyddl @pretty-npeach @marine-mayday @aerangi @justanotherpasserby-blog @tinafuentes @moniffazictress11 @eywaheardyou @alwaysclassyeagle @mrstealuregirl @bisexual-desi @sherlockstrangewolf @madsttx @graywrites20 @bradtomlovesya @princesspannnn @raajali3
crossed out= not able to tag
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firethekitty · 5 months
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rank every vash
sure i’m due to lose a few followers
1. trimax vash. ohhhh he’s beautiful he’s fantastic what a wonderful guy. i could literally write full-length essays about him. genuinely one of the most well-written and complex characters i’ve ever had the pleasure of getting to know. i’ve written 25,000+ words in trimax vash character studies. what else can i say about him. no seriously what else can i say about him? feel free to give me ideas
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2. tristamp vash. he gets a bad rap from 98 fans and it makes me sad bc tristamp vash is much more similar to trimax vash than 98 vash was. people have shit to say about his design, his personality, his animation, his voice… enough already. he’s a great character and i’ll die on that hill.
a lot of fair criticisms of tristamp are due to the fact that studio orange is trying to fit 100+ manga chapters in 24 episodes. and it’s simply not enough time. but this is a widespread issue in the animation industry and orange is genuinely trying their best. almost everyone working on the show clearly fucking adores trigun and wants to do it justice, so i don’t think it’s fair to blame them specifically for the weird pacing issues. i do have qualms about it but "i don't like 3D animation" or "vash is too sad" are not valid criticisms imo lmao
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3. 98 vash. well he kinda sucks but that’s what makes him charming! typical 90s shounen protagonist! sure!
he’s fine on his own, but he’s like an entirely different character to me when compared to trimax vash. i can’t blame the writers for modeling him after early/pre-trimax vash, but i wish they waited to see how the manga would play out before making an entire anime. but who knows if trimax would ever finish without the 98 anime, so i guess this is the price i have to pay 😔
4. badlands rumble. i really can’t stand him LOL. i wish i could understand the thought process behind the writers for this movie bc it just doesn’t make sense to me. he's like 98 vash in heat. his only saving grace is his absolutely adorable design and bird-like mannerisms, which are very trimax-y to me. he’s just so goofy and funny-looking, just looking at him makes me smile :)
me: any last words, fucker?
badlands rumble vash:
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me: …you may live another day
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demonic-ritualist · 8 months
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Episodes 69-71 Analysis
Now that Ada’s mini manifestation plot line seems to be over (for now) I have decided to do an in depth analysis of episode 69-71 including ALL my thoughts and theories. Spoilers for all of nevermore until episode 72. Also I have decided to go character by character so feel free to skip to any part you like!
Morella
A trait about Morella I don’t see many people talk about is how much of a hypocrite she can be. During the Mystery Manor arc a student “asked for a quiet death but Morella denied that letting her be eaten alive by Prospero’s rats. Prospero literally calls out this behavior, saying that she and Pluto sat by and did nothing while countless students suffered horrible deaths yet they still come out of this feeling like the better person. Now she does redeem herself in that episode, what frustrates me is that this behavior continues in other episodes.
During this entire arc she could have stepped in and saved Prospero at any point (That’s literally her spectre’s purpose). But she didn’t. During the first few episodes she tells Lenore that she doesn’t want to be friends with fake people. Yet now she walks around with Annabel’s group.
I’m not saying Morella has bad intentions or anything. There is no doubt that she has good intentions. It’s just her cowardice that stops her from meaningfully helping people. Judging from what we know about her and her past interactions she will probably have an arc where she learns to stand up for herself in order to do the right thing.
I’m also not saying that her deed in Mystery Manor meant nothing. I’m just saying that in terms of her character arc there is more to be done.
Annabel Lee
In terms of writing my favorite character in Nevermore is Annabel. The fact that she can be seen as both a heartless monster and a woman hurt by a misogynistic society is so interesting to me. Her devotion to Lenore shouldn’t be a justification for her manipulative behavior but when talking about her it can’t be ignored.
Montresor doesn’t see any problem with Prospero potentially dying. In his eyes -if anything- this is a big achievement. How does Annabel respond? Not he’s our friend, not he doesn’t deserve to die. Her answer is “ What a short-sighted notion.” The reason she’s saving Prospero is because he’s crucial to her plan.
I know a lot of fans interpreted Annabel comforting Prospero as a sign of her caring. I didn’t really interpret it that way. After fixing his hair her first instinct is to tell him to compose himself because people are watching. Annabel will do anything for Lenore, everyone else to her are just pawns. Even if she did empathize with Prospero she still told him to compose himself because him doing that will push her towards her goal.
Montresor
Montresor’s a pretty simple character. Out of the entire cast he’s the only straight up villain (Ada might qualify for this category very soon). We don’t know enough about The Deans to properly evaluate them, Prospero just wants a good grade and Annabel, despite all her manipulation tactics, will do anything for Lenore.
Like I said earlier Montresor doesn’t see any problem with Prospero dying. While Annabel goes and confronts Ada he chooses to stay hidden. When the fight ended he took the opportunity to manipulate her.
You see unlike Annabel he’s pretty shortsighted. He doesn’t plan for the long term. If he sees a good opportunity he jumps at it.
Prospero:
I’ll be upfront and say that I wasn’t originally going to talk about him in this essay. I learned more about his backstory but I also feel like I learnt nothing new about him. Like nothing really surprised me or made me think.
I feel like these episodes served to humanize him and make him more sympathetic. Going forward I feel he will start to experience doubts about his mindset which will cause a lot of conflict between him and Annabel specially. Previously Annabel could always count on him being there to help them get a high grade. But if he starts experiencing doubts Annabel’s plans might need an overhaul.
Ada:
Where we left off, Ada was desperately clinging to this image of the upper class. After this arc I can’t say much has changed.
The reason Ada is so attached to Annabel and Prospero is because they serve as validation to her. If people as put-together and posh as them are friends with me then I must be posh too! If this plotline means anything it’s Ada losing faith in her idols. It's Annnabel and Prospero denying Ada the right to continue living this fantasy.
Episode 69 is the first time Prospero graphically assaults her. Any other time Ada could brush off his uninterested demeanor as him being shy but for the first time ever she has to acknowledge that her image of Prospero is false. That he doesn’t love her.
What caused Ada to return to her human form is Annabel calling her and her behavior hideous. Ada values Annabel’s opinion over everything else so to be told that she’s hideous and unladylike must be one of the most soul crushing things ever. After breaking down she pleads for Annabel to take back what she said but Annabel (justifiably so) refuses. Adding even more salt to the wound.
After this Ada is approached by Morella and Montresor. The reasons for why she pushed Morella away aren’t clear but I will be giving my own take on why.
One possible reason is that Ada doesn’t see Morella as an equal. As episode 38 establishes, Ada also doesn't see Morella as ladylike. Ada also never took her seriously. She will stick up for her without thinking but she never really tried to get closer to her like with Lenore, Prospero and Annabel.
The second reason; after being abandoned by Annabel the only thing Ada wants is to have someone reaffirm that she’s ladylike, have someone make her feel good again. If Morella were to comfort Ada she would try to hold her accountable for her actions. Morella wouldn’t blindly compliment her like Montresor later does.
Montresor does that. He immediately calls her pretty like Ada wants him to. He immediately gives her the validation she wants and doesn’t try to hold her accountable for her actions.
In conclusion Ada wants love and validation. When Prospero and Annabel fail to satisfy her need she moves onto someone else and the toxic cycle then continues.
Conclusion:
With the Mystery Manor arc I feel like we have seen a change of dynamic. While Annabel's group have been the top students, Mystery Manor showed that the misfits can effectively compete with Lenore being the first ever student to ring the bell. Not only that, episodes 69-71 marked a blow to Annabel’s group’s reputation. So going forward they will be in a tough spot.
Also I didn’t talk about Ada’s backstory at all. I was originally going to but after seeing so much content about it I decided against it. I don’t really have anything new to add to that conversation.
Another thing I want to adress I feel like a lot of people were disappointed with how episode 71 ended. I personally wasn’t disappointed. I enjoy Montresor X Ada as a PLOT DEVICE. I enjoy the types of conflict you can derive from it. I enjoy the way it progresses Ada’s character arc. People who see it as a cute and fluffy ship should GET OUT.
That's about it. This essay took ages to make. I swear to god EVERY TIME I THOUGHT I WAS DONE I FOUND SOMETHING NEW TO ADD. Please take that complaint as a compliment as to how good this series is.
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stratospheric-bebop · 1 month
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Some of my thoughts on Cowboy Bebop. Or my ESSAY really, if you WILL!
I’m in the middle of re-watching this entire show again after having watched it (so sporadically) before. I’m honestly a little sad that I couldn’t watch it consistently to begin with. It’s become something so appealing now to me after re-watching, but, maybe that’s just the way it was meant to happen.
It’s funny. Back then I thought this was just another good show out there, just another interesting piece of media I’ve decided to watch and take up. That is would just be another show I could tell people about and go ‘Oh yeah! I’ve seen it! It was good!’ and elaborate no further about it.
But that wasn’t the case.
I really got into this show once I started the re-watch. I’ve not seen the movie yet, I’m saving the movie for a bad day, as per a friend’s request, (he didn’t elaborate any further, but, might as well) and I’m super excited about that. I don’t think I’ll watch it until I finish my re-watch of the show first, though.
But yeah, it’s just interesting. I’m trying to put my finger on what is just so… appealing about this show to me. I have an idea roughly of several things that have been so interesting about this show, but, I’m trying to figure out what specifically has stuck out, aside from the atmosphere, the storytelling, and more. I’m trying to figure out what feels so personalized to me about this show…
A bunch of people trying to live out their lives and live with their struggles, flaws, & pasts while doing it. That’s rather profound. There’s something so resonating about that concept. About learning to co-exist with yourself and to truly be present in your own life, as short and as fundamentally difficult as it may be.
And that concept is summarized very well by the following infamous, notable quote:
YOU’RE GONNA CARRY THAT WEIGHT.
And that’s pretty damn hard hitting.
But that aside, I also think there’s another big theme in Cowboy Bebop.
Risk. Surprisingly. It’s my own interpretation of course, and not gospel (I love everyone’s different interpretations anyway), but, here, just have this as food for thought.
Acknowledging the presence of pain, of processing it, is grief. Something many of these characters already go through with so much of their pasts. That’s seemingly obvious and easy to sort of discern and describe, yes?
But to confront it and welcome what comes next, even if it might be painful, even if it might be challenging… is risk.
Which I think there is a lot to say about this theme, when dissecting the finale and the character’s developments. With Faye, with Ed, and with Jet, especially.
Even if it ended in the ultimate tragedy for some people, ahem. Everyone took their risks. They still got hurt, a lot of the time. Most of the time, actually.
But they still took it. And somehow, this appeared to give a stronger feeling of solace, even if it was painful for these characters, seeing them take the risk of confrontation, of hope, or of anything.
With Spike’s demise, I feel you can even study and see this concept in him as well. To be trapped within your own mind and the past — he really did go to find out if he was truly alive. On a surface level it might just look like a suicide mission, and even Faye contends with testing that concept there in the ending. It’s so gray and there’s so much room for so many interpretations on the ending. But that’s what I love so much about it.
But I like to think he really did truly feel alive. Because on a deeper level, he felt the pursuit was… worth the risk, that this was essential to his good mind of conscience. If he dies, he dies. What happens, happens.
That regardless of the pain he felt that day, regardless of what he lost, I feel he did something for once in his entire life with the fullest bit of intentionality that he had. He did something without being plagued by the past. Without being afraid. You could argue Spike was never afraid, but I’m not sure if I believe that. That’s another essay, but.
This once I feel he took a true risk.
Even if that resulted in his death… the smile that he gives in the end there, feels much more like a victory to me than it does a defeat, for so many reasons.
Those are just my own thoughts. But it’s interesting, isn’t it?
I also feel as if Bebop really lines up a lot of harsh realities that parallel real-life, that’s a given I’m sure most media literates can take note of. But you can feel this subtle, slice-of-life type of presence, of hope in little moments, and in the seemingly mundane. Even in a futuristic hell-scape such as this — the characters still experience their own fruits of fulfillment however small they may be, be it special delicacies or winning lotteries.
It has such an allusion to realism with it that I can’t quite describe or place my finger on just yet. That I just… cannot find anywhere else in media. Not like this.
This show is like a puzzle but I love trying to pick apart and interpret every minute of it. It really requires me to think much about it. Kind of inspiring and creatively-engaging really, especially when comparing my own work and stories.
That’s my essay for now, but yeah.
SEE YOU LATER, SPACE COWBOY.
I suppose.
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bunni-v1 · 6 months
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Hiii! Bunni Checking in to let you all know I have not died, and very much enjoyed my break :)
I should be back to posting by Wednesday, which will be when the last part of the not clickbait series drops!
Other than that, I am happily enjoying my break. I wrote (most) of my essays, and got to spend time with my boyfriend and his family. I also got to play a lot of project sekai, genshin impact, and overwatch — only one of those was a positive experience lol. Since I sorta want to just babble on about my thoughts, I’ll talk about those games. Please feel free to talk with me about them, it really makes my day!
Project Sekai is always fun to play, though I’m not insane at the game or anything (guilty thumb player here). I was able to get all of the new event cards except for Miku and Akito. (Though I got Akito on my side account so 🫡). I’m really upset, I’m the biggest Miku fan out there and I have like no Miku cards. Still, I won’t complain about my Shizuku or the shiny new Saki I got.
Genshin Impact was… something. I have like 121 pulls saved for Furina, and I’ve still got about a month worth of saving to do. I finished act three of the story quest a while ago, and while I enjoyed it, it felt a little too monotonous at times — i think that’s the vibe they wanted though, so I won’t say it’s awful. I’ve been putting off Lyney and act four for ages though, and last night I was forced to do Lyney’s quest for that stupid coffee commission. I wasn’t feeling good at all either, I just wanted to get on and off so I was cursing out Lyney and the developers the whole time, but I liked it generally. It wasn’t anything too special, but Lyney is a cutie! As for act four, I really loved it! I won’t say too much because of spoilers, but seeing my two favorite girls on screen at the end made me so damn happy. I can’t wait to have them both.
Overwatch is probably the oddest stain on my gaming repertoire. I literally HATE fps games, but my boyfriend started playing it this summer and I wanted to have something to do with him over break so I picked it up. I’m a mercy main, if I hadn’t made that obvious before, but I play other characters. God, though, this game is miserable to play. Tanks have it the worst, but being a support main sucks too 😭 Especially Mercy, because no matter your skill level if your team is underperforming you’re almost forced to switch because she relies heavily on a competent team (this goes for everyone I guess, but as a Mercy main I feel it most on her lol). Not that big of a deal for me, but if you’re a one-trick it’s gotta suck :/ Still, I’m excited for the halloween update, I’m just tired of having to solo queue when my boyfriend is busy.
Anyway, that’s really all I’ve been doing. If you’d like to talk more about any of the games I was talking about, or anything about my interests (or YOUR interests) I would love to ❤️ I’m excited to be back soon, thank you for your patience.
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oleworm · 3 months
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@girlmaturin tagged me! What were my six favourite books of 2023?
This is going to be a difficult one. First of all because I appreciate books for different reasons, it can be because I learned a lot, because it made me think about new things even though (or because of the fact) that it made me uncomfortable, or simply because it fits my aesthetic or thematic tastes. It wouldn’t be fair to pit completely different books against each other, but I’ll try to do what I can!
There’s also the fact that this is the year that I’ve read the most books in my life since I started counting them. Maybe not 100 but 96! You can laugh at me, but to be fair a lot of these were short books, or essays or short stories that I saved as an e-book and counted independently. I’ve been reading a lot of older books that I had at home or bought secondhand and it really makes me think that contemporary books are so big! It used to be normal to find lots of books that were 100-190 pages long about a specific topic or just because the author wanted to type out their thoughts. I don’t know how much the cost of publishing has increased, but it seems as if every book has to be definitive and huge in order to justify the expense.
1) The Fall of the House of Usher by Edgar Allan Poe
I’m counting this as a book since I found it as an e-book on Project Gutenberg. I was a child the first time that I read it, so a lot of the implications went over my head. This time around I was fascinated by how it synthesises the ideas of the epoch—the insularity of the upper classes in a time of increased social mobility (Poe was, after all, an American) countered with eugenic fears of fixing unfavourable traits into a bloodline through repeated inbreeding. It’s fascinating that the text lays it out so clearly. There’s this line that stuck to me, about how the house of Usher never allowed any branches to grow too far from the trunk of the tree, and then there was this part when Roderick Usher describes the psychological traits that afflict the family—I say afflict because they are disturbing to him—not as a result of the circumstances of their lives, but a part of their inborn nature. It brought to mind the way that Vincent van Gogh described his depression to his brother, who also suffered from it. “The root of the evil lies in the constitution,” that is how I remember it, though I could be wrong because it was in translation and it has been quite a while since I read about the subject. It reminded me of that, and how people describe dogs with behavioural issues caused by poor breeding.
Anyway, a little insect encased in amber for the neuroses of an age!
2) The Silver Metal Lover by Tanith Lee
A sheltered girl falls in love with a realistic robot—you would expect a pulpy romance novel but this was so much more than that to me.
It’s a story about a girl that has been sheltered all her life and does not realise that she is being abused by her mother, who controls every aspect of her life by making her feel that she is too innocent, too stupid to make a choice even with such personal things as her interests or her physical appearance. There were some mean-spirited interpretations of this little book, calling it a poor littlen rich girl story. But rich girls can cry too!
But besides, the heart of the situation, beyond all the fantastic, futuristic aspects, is one that can happen to anyone, regardless of their socioeconomic background.
One thing that I like very much about Tanith Lee is her ability to join different genres and settings. For example, in this one she described economic inequality and labour issues caused by automatisation and at the same time had the socialite characters talk in a droll, misogynistic manner that is right out of Saki. But writing this review I realise that these are not elements that are discordant with each other, though superficially they appear to be. Of the popular writers I have read she is one of those who best understands that the long 19th century may well be even longer—ha-ha, historians, don’t kill me!
I found it funny to be reading this book at the height of the AI-debate, as one of its main plot points was the fear that artists had of being replaced by machines that could “create” new and better works from the wealth of artworks that had been made by human artists before. I’ll probably remember that, if I live long enough to see what happens later.
3) Light in Gaza: Writings Born of Fire, edited by Jehad Abusalim, Jennifer Bing, and Mike Merryman-Lotze
Before this year I hadn’t read any books by Palestinian authors, so when I saw that this book was being shared freely and that it had some names that I already recognised I thought it would be a good place to start.
The fact that so many people contributed to it was the main reason that I chose it, there are so many different points of view, everyone emphasises a different part of life in Gaza, their experiences with their family, their work, their fields of expertise. There’s university professor who describes not only the subject matter of his lessons, but also the difficulties faced by students whose classrooms and study materials can be destroyed at any moment. The architect talks about the settlement pattern in Gaza, and how families prefer to construct their own homes in a way that the extended family may continue to reside together, though logistically it is not always possible to do so. The student provides a narrative of her daily routine, and how everyone must plan their day around the water and electricity shortages, and what difficulties this presents to cooking, cleaning and studying, activities that a lot of us take for granted. Most of the writers talk about the anger and frustration of having to deal with borders and checkpoints, the separation of family and friends for years and decades at a time across relatively short distances in the Palestinian Territories, in Israel and neighbouring countries, as well as the loss of opportunities abroad when people are impeded from leaving or fear that they might be prevented from returning.
Somebody said that it wasn’t right that Palestinians should always have to humanise themselves to the eyes of foreigners, hoping that we might care. I agree, because it is true that we should care for other human beings without having every detail of their suffering described to us. This book has sad parts, parts that are extremely frustrating, but it has moments of fun and happiness too. And the authors wanted people to read it and remember, and I want you to read it too.
The publisher has shared it for free download here.
4) When the Angels Left the Old Country by Sacha Lamb
I listened to the audiobook for this one on the Platform Formerly Known as Scribd and have ordered a physical version to have at home. I was so sad when it ended!
I loved reading about Little Ash and Uriel, a Jewish demon and angel who leave their shtetl when one of the girls from the village goes missing on her way to America. The research that went into it made me want to read more about the historical period in which it was set, and it didn’t stay a resolution—I did end up reading a book about Jewish life in the Russian Empire!
As an immigration story, it made sense that one of the tensest moments in the book was the medical examination by the immigration officials—sadly, in many countries the discrimination of sick and disabled people is still a real problem, though I hope that it will change in our lifetimes, as it did with racial quotas. It’s sold as a Young Adult book but adults would enjoy it too, as it deals with complex issues in an accessible manner but without leaving them flattened.
5) The Idiot by Elif Batuman
As a reader of Russian literature I’m surprised that I didn’t find this book earlier! It was really funny and cute and you could tell how young Selin was supposed to be in this story. Like when she imagines her crush to be like a love interest in a Russian book even though they’re in the 20th century and he’s a completely different type of Eastern European just because his name is very similar to Ivan! There’s a very funny scene also where she talks with a psychologist about her mostly online relationship with this person and he says “Hm… He reminds me of the Unabomber,” and she gets all defensive about it because there is a kernel of truth to it, he is posing as this edgy intellectual and she does not truly know who he is outside these characters they have created in their epistolary world.
I love the way Selin talks about her friends and the books she reads, Elif Batuman really captured what it’s like to be that age, and it was refreshing to read a book about a girl where horrible things don’t happen to her and she can continue learning and being herself.
6) El miedo en el Peru, siglos XVI al XX, edited by Claudia Rosas Lauro
A series of academic articles about fear in Peru in the 16th to 20th centuries. What people were afraid of and what were the social, cultural, religious and political reasons that they might be afraid of a particular thing.
I am adding this to the list because of one specific article—it is introduced as being about the fear of one’s parents, but in particular it talks about a number of legal cases where people were attempting to leave monastic orders claiming to have been made to join under duress—either because they were underage at the time of their vows, or because they had been threatened with physical violence by their relatives, often their parents. I found it interesting, there is a clear parallel between being forced to join a monastic order and entering an unwanted marriage. The arguments that can be used are the same, that the person was too young to meaningfully consent, or only accepted to preserve a degree of bodily integrity. Many of these victims had been threatened, even with death, because the parents wished for their properties to pass on to another one of their relatives. Having taken a vow of poverty, a monk would no longer be entitled to it. It also happened sometimes that these young men would join a monastic order to escape violence in the home. There were other cases where it wasn’t a relative, but rather a priest or another religious authority that convinced a young person that he should take monastic vows, while being too young to understand them or not having received a proper explanation of the terms.
There were other cool articles, such as the one where the fear of piracy overlapped with the fear of heresy because most of the pirates that accosted the Spanish Empire were Protestants from Great Britain or the Netherlands, or the one about the people who chose or were made to starve to death under siege because of Royalist propaganda about the Republican army’s brutality.
This came out rather long… Because I haven’t been typing it directly on the computer where there are so many distractions. I ordered myself an AlphaSmart 3000 over the holidays, it’s an electronic typewriter that you can plug into your computer to transfer what you’ve written before. It’s very pleasant to type in, and it’s also satisfying to see how the letters appear on the word processor when the device transfers the text, it emulates a keyboard so it looks as if it were typing in real time. Don’t worry, I’m not being paid to advertise for a company that no longer exists. If people with similar tastes to mine found it fun or useful I thought I may as well try it out. So far I’ve written a story on this and half-way typed up a draft of a much longer one. Just make sure that if you use different languages on your computer that it’s configured to the English keyboard when you transfer text, otherwise strange symbols may appear!
I’m tagging @bacchanalium, @sifilide, @tetrachromate, @osmanthusoolong, @bogfox and @sherbertilluminated if they want to!
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bestworstcase · 10 months
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Listen as someone who loves Ozpin a lot, he got the better end of the deal and we know this bc Light said explicitly he would not be alone. No it’s not a GOOD deal but considering he found and reunited with and had kids with Salem in his first new life? Things only got terrible for him truly after they broke up / tried to kill each other.
Salem watched humanity be Destroyed by the “gods” of her world who thought she should be punished bc they were easily swayed into fighting by making her Love Forever, Invulnerable (can be brown. Apart but comes back together) and then Left Her Alone Until Humanity Evolved once again either by our real world rules or magical rules or a combination of the two.
Listen I’ll write an essay about Oz and his years of fucked up loneliness and body snatching he didn’t want but Salem being Alone for That long without even the release of death at her own hands? NONE of us would handle that well who knows how she rebates when life sprang up again like. She’s the villain for sure she’s fucked up for sure but man I would be too. I would be too
it’s funny that you say this actually because i think the opposite. salem may have been brutally psychologically tortured for millions of years at the hands of cruel and tyrannical gods, but 1. she’s still herself, 2. she understands that she did not deserve this, and 3. she was ultimately able to claw back some agency for herself by jumping into the pool of grimm (which is doubly true if that really did cause humanity’s resurrection, because in that case she actually ended the worst part of her curse).
meanwhile ozma got turned into a parasite who subsists by erasing and absorbing other people’s lives, over and over and over again, entirely against his will and in a manner that also forces him to experience this from their perspective too. and the god of light tricked him into agreeing to this—so he feels it’s his fault—on top of making it his sole responsibility to redeem humanity before the gods lest the whole world be obliterated. he’s been manipulated into a position where the one person who ever made him want to live is his greatest enemy and his whole existence revolves around a hopeless campaign to get rid of her so he can save the world that he only wanted to save because she was in it. and his sense of identity has been eroded so badly that he doesn’t even consider himself to be a person anymore. and he’s convinced all of his suffering is his fault and exactly what he deserves for having failed.
and rwby has been very, very clear that a person’s soul is their identity, their self-knowledge, which means that the nature of ozma’s curse is tearing his soul apart.
when salem found out he reincarnated early she kicked everyone out of the room, tried to calm herself down, had a meltdown, blew the windows in, and then very quickly shuffled her plans around to do damage control and even try to turn this development to her advantage (<- the ‘wring the lamp’s password out of him’ plan). when ozpin’s precarious house of cards collapsed he burrowed down into oscar’s head and went catatonic for months. and if V1 is any indication, as ozpin he regularly spent months on end just dissociating all the time. salem is like… a lot more emotionally functional than he is, and i think that’s entirely because ozma’s form of reincarnation is shredding his soul and forcing him to live in the bodies of people he involuntarily consumes.
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vintage-rejects · 2 years
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Hello! I’m here to participate in the Peaceful Team Fortress 2 Bot Protest! If you don’t already know, there’s a serious bot problem within the game! Due to years of neglect, the game isn’t incredibly friendly for new players! Many people still play the game, as it’s such a beautiful peace of work! I’m here to stand by those people today! However, my love for this franchise doesn’t revolve around the game entirely.. No, I’m here to represent a very specific side of this fandom! The ones who focus on the beautiful characters of this franchise! The people who make up headcanons, theorize about lore, and create their own fan characters for this game! I’m more connected to that side of the fandom.
Team Fortress 2 means so much to me. I was in an incredibly toxic mental state about 2 years ago. I was incredibly sad, scared, and various other things under the sun. I was becoming a shell of myself, almost to a point I couldn’t recognize who I was. Somehow, I remembered these animated clips I saw years prior. I don’t recall why I watched them all those years ago, or why I even remembered them at that moment. Though, I searched them up and found them. The “Meet the Team” videos. Curiously, I rewatched them and my life shifted completely.
Immediately, I began reading fanfiction out of complete curiosity. I consumed animated content hesitantly. I was slowly easing myself into this new—yet rather old—fandom I’ve never truly witnessed before. Per usual, I broke the news to my best friend of 8 years. I was expecting them not to share my interests, as we have that problem a lot. It’s always made me sad we never had one fandom in common… Until, they excitedly said they like TF2 as well! I was ecstatic, and immediately consumed all the content I could of this game! I impulsively downloaded the game, watched 2-hour long videos about the game, laughed at shitposts, and read every comic I could. I never felt this good in ages!
Team Fortress 2 unlocked my creativity, after it’s been stifled for so long. I have written words upon words of roleplays. I have thought up so many headcanons, these characters have started to feel like my own. I’ve made too many Spy fan characters, I really need to stop— I’ve written an essay about how this game saved me. I’ve told everyone in my life about it, because I love it so much! I’m closer to my best friend because of it. This game means a lot to me. These characters mean a lot to me!
I’ve tried to take breaks from TF2, but every time I do… I miss it immensely. I love these silly, weird, older men. I love them so much. They make me unbelievably happy. Especially Spy. I cannot tell you exactly why he clicks so well for me, but he does. Anytime I see Spy in anything, I get so stupidly happy. Every Spy meme makes me laugh, and I could watch him move for hours. I love this character a lot. He’s the closest I’ll ever get to a comfort character, I think. He’s my baby, my son. My little man. I love him. He’s wonderful.
These characters are wonderful! They’re so complex and interesting! They’re so filled to the brim with life! The writers put so much love into them! Not to mention, the animation and comic art is beautiful! TF2 just drips with personality!! It’s amazing!
My favorite part is the fandom. The TF2 fandom is one of the more wholesome fandoms I’ve ever seen. I’ve never really seen a controversy within this fandom (maybe it’s because I’m a very recent fan). Everyone is incredibly welcoming, and sorta treat you like you were always there. As soon as I started this blog, and posted my little silly posts, people much more known in this space replied like they’ve always known me. So many people reply with enthusiasm, and show the same exact passion I have for these characters!
Not only that, the SFM community is amazing! They make beautiful animations whenever they can! They’re dedicated, talented people! SFMs are always a blast to watch! They’re very lovely! Not to mention all the fanart people make! It’s incredible! Each piece of art is made with love, passion, and dedication! It’s so exciting to see people express themselves with something they love so much!! We cannot forget those who spend so much time on fanfictions! Or Headcanons! Those who take time to write out requests solely to make others happy! They’re very inspiring people!
I also want to stress how funny this community is. God, these guys are hilarious! Every joke lands and gets a very ugly laugh outta me! You guys are super funny, remember that!!
Finally, I want to address how this community is very strong. Like today! They’re standing together to save a game they love so much. That is dedication! It’s incredibly inspiring.
Team Fortress 2 means a lot to me. It gave me my creativity back. It strengthened my friendship of over 8 years. It introduced me to such a loving, hilarious, talented community. It gave me a small platform to express myself. I’m very thankful for having this silly, little blog. I’m thankful for every follower I have. I’m thankful TF2 exists, frankly. It’s given me so much I adore. I want to see it prosper for years to come.
#SaveTF2
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New Essay On the Pink Bitch
Those of you unfortunate enough to have seen it may recall I wrote an essay on what I thought Henry Miller was, coming to the conclusion that he was a frog.
Fortunately a couple people corrected me and said he’s actually probably human, and thinking more about it, yeah, he probably is and I was really reaching because I was not only analyzing a character with little information about him for species and going with the first crazy theory, but I never needed to do any of it in the first place because Henry is so obviously human.
Part of me still subscribes to the Frogry theory because it’s weirdly funny to think about and when I make my Henry design I’m actually going to make two, one official Ouija cinematic universe design, and one frog man design for humour and to acknowledge my sins.
This also contains a massive theory about Henry and Fredbear, that is objectively very weird but I think would be cool if it were true but it probably isn’t.
Warning for spoilers somehow.
Ok, so Henry isn’t Frogry. Probably. As I said part of me still watched Amphibia and thought Henry = Sprig because I think it’s so funny and cursed that I have to keep the theory alive because people need to learn from my mistakes as well as see Henry as a frog. (To the person who reblogged my Frogry theory post with a picture of the frog himself, you have my eternal gratitude that made my day.)
Now, to get on to the actual essay, Henry is a human. I wrongfully assumed he wasn’t because of Peter and Jack’s alive sprites and Henry being such a bright pink with the undead eyes.
The main thing that got me confused was Henry’s eyes which we never see on any character who isn’t undead or Dave aside from him. (Personally I’m not sure if Dave’s eyes have to do with his being undead, I actually think they have more to do with whatever he is because they actually look different from Jack’s so they might not be just a zombie thing but it might be just a stylistic choice and they are the same.)
However at what point did Henry die? You’d think he would have mentioned it in his tapes because that would have been what he wanted, right? Henry wanted immortality and if he died and came back immortal he would have talked about it and his success, but since he didn’t he absolutely cannot be dead.
I have a theory about the eyes that changes a lot about their meaning and Henry’s character but it’s kinda weird and out of left field so I’ll save it for after I discuss his skin.
Henry is pink. I was wrong saying he was magenta, his arms and legs are but his face and body are not so it’s probably a different thing. I heard it suggested that Henry just wears pink clothes and I think that makes sense. Dave and Jack have a pretty good reason they could very well have different shades of their respective colours on their bodies, but for Henry, it’s probably just clothes. Why is his skin pink?
A popular theory/joke is that Henry eats a lot of shrimp. This doesn’t make sense because this only works on flamingos. Also I doubt Henry eats brine shrimp. Because it’s not just any shrimp, it’s brine shrimp.
I think it’s more that Henry is a kinda naturally pinkish looking man. It explains literally everything if he is. He isn’t pink, he’s just a little more pink tinted than your average man.
Now, to get to my theory. Keep in mind this is all speculation and I’m not claiming it to be at all correct or really logical. It’s a weird theory but it makes some sense to me and I don’t mind if you disagree, it’s just an interesting theory of mine.
Besides being undead and largely monochromatic, what is one thing Dave and Jack have in common. Soul separation. Jack has Blackjack who is his soul, and Dave has Davetrap who has half of his soul. What if Henry also has a split or missing soul for a different but similar reason.
Perhaps Henry couldn’t deal with the death of his family and it eventually caused his own soul to fracture and create a separate entity which also led to a major increase in his overall cruelty and evil due to the further loss of his already weak morals due to his Machiavellism that he developed at some point during his time in the military.
The fracture was small at first like with Flipside Dave and Davetrap, having “some version” of Flipside Dave always in the Flipside but Flipside Dave becoming more of a prominent and separate entity as Dave became more feral and possessed his own body more, perhaps Henry’s soul split off more and more due to his own growing insanity and obsession which in turn made it get worse and made his soul split more.
Now, you may be thinking I’m crazy, if Henry had another creature repressing half of his soul we would have seen it. What if I tell you we did. In fact what if I told you it was FREDBEAR.
Ok, you surely think this is insane, Fredbear is nothing like Henry, and both Blackjack and Davetrap/Flipside Dave are similar to their counterparts, Flipside Dave and Davetrap so much that I actually can’t tell which of them is more Dave, it feels honestly like they both are.
Well Fredbear isn’t actually the greatest person… errr bear. He just sort of drops Jack in expecting him to solve all of his own problems and if Jack kills people, Fredbear canonically waits until 12 people (11 of them children) are already dead to do anything about his creation killing people. Fredbear could have fixed the problem himself, we know he can kill Dave, he could probably have dealt with Henry himself, so why didn’t he? He’s frequently referred to as a coward specifically for not doing any of the many things to stop the child murder that he clearly could have done.
So Fredbear is definitely self serving, not only that, but he’s a coward, one who waits until the last moment to do anything and sends other people such as Dee (a small child who had just been murdered and presumably works for him) and Jack to deal with a problem he could easily fix far faster. Why, because Fredbear is afraid of death, cripplingly so. And who else is? Henry.
Why Fredbear, doesn’t it make more sense to be Godred? Actually no. Godred is very separate although he has to do with Henry clearly. Godred is an actual animatronic however eldritch as he may be, however Fredbear, although he is an animatronic, never hung around as an animatronic. In fact, we’ve seen his real life counterpart and it doesn’t seem very animate nor does it fully look like him. So Godred is Godred, not Henry.
Why would Henry’s soul take on the form of an animatronic bear. Well, that plays a lot into my theory. I think the split reached its peak around the time of Fredbear’s Family Diner, at which point Henry played the role of Fredbear himself, his own creation. So doesn’t it make sense for his soul, upon gaining its own level of sentience, to take on the beloved form of Fredbear rather than the cursed form of the murderer and mad scientist Henry Miller. Think of Fredbear after splitting off as being like Flipside Dave, witnessing his real life counterpart commit atrocities, not wanting to actually do those atrocities himself but being helpless to stop it.
My theory is that Fredbear, despite being just as Machiavellian and crazy as Henry but less homocidal, wanted to stop Henry’s actions, however he didn’t want to kill him because he worried it would destroy him too and he feared death more than anything. As Henry continued to get worse, Fredbear got stronger as he took on more of Henry’s soul, similar to Blackjack being somewhat powerful and Flipside Dave being able to make portals, but to a much higher degree because the soul he split off of was very much alive, eventually letting him ascend to the point of being the god of childhood, the ethereal real Fredbear.
Perhaps at one point Fredbear lost all memory of ever being Henry but his desire not do no anything too extreme continued, or perhaps he still does remember but has at this point entirely rejected being Henry.
For further proof, Dave claims no one could play Fredbear like Henry could. There’s no Fredbear without him. In the most twisted ways, Henry is both responsible for every problem in the series, and responsible partially for its solution with bringing Jack back to life.
Henry and Fredbear never directly interact, but from dialogue they seem to hate eachother for obvious reasons of being on opposite sides. However if they are the same person it paints this dialogue pretty differently. Rather than them being two separate people on opposite sides working for opposite goals who hate eachother, they are the same man split in half fighting himself forever because neither side is willing to hurt the other in fear of retribution and death.
What does this mean for the good ending? Well I think that seeing Jack accept death after everything was said and done and finally complete what he never could out of fear, Fredbear realized his own fault and that he should have just fixed everything when he had the chance and prevented a lot of heartbreak. Every child who died in Freddy’s, their blood is on his hands. He just let it happen. I think this causes Fredbear to either finally move on from purgatory and rejoin the other half of himself in whatever comes next, Hell, reincarnation, or otherwise. Either that or he can’t move on at this point after all he’s done and what he’s become, he sees what Jack did and knows he himself still has a responsibility to help the stragglers move on and fix all future murders that a part of him caused.
I’m not saying Henry is a good person, nor is Fredbear evil. What I’m saying is a part of Henry split off and became his opposite.
And to conclude this batshit crazy Henry is Fredbear theory, this is why Henry has the same eyes as Jack and Dave, because he too is one half of a whole.
I’d love to hear counterpoints and your thoughts about the matter, and I’m sorry I spent so long on a theory like this. I doubt this is what Doggo intended, but if he did, I think it’d be cool :)
Please do not send hate, this is just a theory not me announcing I sympathize with Henry’s actions or anything of the sort, just me therorizimg about something weird with the main antagonist of Dayshift at Freddy’s that could be really cool if it were true.
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Sooooo I had a thought this morning:
We all assume Thorin’s goldsickness started at Laketown, where he’s gazing upon the mountain, but what if it was sooner than that? What if it started back on the cliff-face when he was staring Azog down?
Okay here me out on this. Thorin was so assured that Azog was dead. This dwarf who vehemently believed his father was out there somewhere was absolutely certain that Azog was gone from this world. Sure, there’s probably a solid dose of optimistic denial there, but I think it’s more than that. Thorin earned his epithet of “Oakenshield” from his victory over Azog. Symbolically, he needs Azog to be dead, so his people can look to him as a symbol of strength. A beast who had taken his grandfather and (supposedly to the public) his father, but Thorin prevailed...
Yet there he is. Taunting him from the back of a white warg. I think there’s more than just grief here, I think Thorin was mentally shook by this encounter, and even MORE SO by what happened next. We just listened to Balin wax poetry about Thorin’s defense at Azanulbizar, so Thorin grabs his “Oakenshield”, grabs his sword, rushes to his foe...and gets his ass epically handed to him. Would be dead if it weren’t for Bilbo (I’ll circle back to this in a moment). How can Thorin not immediately be plagued by a crippling moment of self-doubt? Remember his words to Dwalin in the throne room? As if he “were still Oakenshield” said with shame? What if this were the true curse of the line of Durin? What if this shaken moment of self-disgust is what allows the “goldsickness” to seep into their minds?
More on why I think this: So let’s consider for a moment, Thror. Thror became goldsick long before the dragon came, and there’s lots of theories as to why. Remember that Thror survived his own dragon attack on his home in his youth that led him to Erebor. There’s A LOT of trauma there to unpack, but you’re talking about another “became king overnight” type of scenario here. (Lowkey I LOVE the parallels between Thror and Thorin and could write a whole ass essay about that as well.) He would have to have doubts. Especially when he and his brother split up their people, Gror leading half to the Iron Hills. Surely, that had to have shaken him! Whether mutual decision or not, Thror’s last surviving family member left to rule somewhere else. And what is Erebor rich in? Gold. So he starts to fill in the void, the doubt with the fact that he got the better kingdom, the better end of this deal, he doesn’t need him. Greed corrupts, and honestly it makes total sense that the Arkenstone, this rare beautiful gem no other kingdom has would be the catalyst to make it INFINITELY worse. SO DEPRESSING to consider Thror was actually goldsick for all of Thorin’s life, but it seems TOTALLY plausible, and if the dwarves have never encountered this type of mental illness before a name like “goldsickness” would probably stick even though the gold is really just a substitute.
Okay, now let’s circle back to Bilbo and Thorin. So if Azog appearing again and defeating Thorin is the trigger for the goldsickness, it makes total sense why Thorin trusted Bilbo above all others whether you ship them or not. Bilbo saved him. Not his kin, even the warriors among them. This unassuming hobbit who he has doubted at every turn managed to get to him in time and use his little sword he had no training in to kill the orc about to behead him. There’s a bit of projecting going on here if you catch my meaning. All the doubts Thorin has about himself is now being magnified in all the trust he puts in Bilbo, following them even into the height of his goldsickness. So when that trust collapsed by Bilbo revealing he had given away the Arkenstone, Thorin was forced to confront himself again. MAKES SENSE, right?? And if Azog is the trigger, he was also the release. Thorin never truly shook the weight of the curse, of the goldsickness until he finally, finally killed Azog.
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fivebyfive005 · 2 years
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Alright Horizon fans. Let’s talk. Now, I did not want romance in Horizon at all until HFW gifted us with Kotallo. Now I'm adamant that he should be with Aloy, and I previously posted this essay about why. So I'm back with this intensively thought-out explanation regarding why (in my opinion) Aloy should not be with various other characters with whom she is often shipped. Just an FYI - if you disagree and want to ship her with other characters (or nobody) that is obviously fine, and I’m not here to argue. This is just me spewing out my thoughts, since I feel like I’ll explode if I keep them pent up. 
Petra – I’m starting with Petra because Ashly Burch previously wrote on Reddit that she felt Petra would be the most compatible with Aloy up to that point (this was about four years ago now, so before HFW). Her reasoning was as follows: “Petra is the only one who would respect and understand her need for full autonomy and frequent excursions on super dangerous mission...I also don't think it would be a particularly intimate relationship, and I doubt that Petra could stay monogamous.” She did, however, go on to say that “I actually don't think I would personally ship her with anyone that we've met yet,” though I am aware that there are still a good number of Aloy/Petra shippers. I think this is all quite accurate and well-reasoned by AB, and it is worth noting out of the gate because she is basically the proverbial horse’s mouth. Also regarding Petra, I can’t help but feel that the dynamic she has with Aloy is really one of friendship more than anything that seems romantic, intimate, or sexual. When Aloy runs into Petra in the very beginning of HFW, Aloy is pretty rushed, and is practically dying to get away from Petra ASAP. This actually seems to make Petra a bit salty, by the way, which is, interestingly, opposite the argument that AB made in the first place (though she seems to get over this pretty quickly). Moreover, this does not seem like behavior of someone attracted to the person they just ran into, on Aloy’s part. As they continue their dialogue at Chainscrape, it is really pretty much all business, too, and I feel like you’d have to do quite a bit of interpretational gymnastics to see any kind of romance developing there. I also feel that historically Aloy has frequently appeared uncomfortable when Petra flirts with her, and I don't think this is because she has feelings in return, but rather that she doesn't know how to treat a friend showing her such overt flirtation (we have seen this discomfort for her with other characters making moves on her, as well). Furthermore, Petra is a bit of a one dimensional character, and though I enjoy Petra for the levity her character brings, I think Aloy's personality would work best with someone a bit more multifaceted and deep. 
Erend - There are a lot of Aloy/Erend shippers but I also know that a lot of them have already expressed willingness to consider Aloy/Kotallo since playing HFW. That probably in itself shows that shipping Erend - at least in some cases - may have been more related to proximity and him just being a beloved character from the first game (rather than a feeling that he would be right for Aloy, and that their relationship would add to the story). Don't get me wrong, I love Erend as well, but he should absolutely NOT be with Aloy. I'd rather be decapitated by a dull guillotine than see that happen. Erend is a loveable goofball for the most part, and while he has more depth than meets the eye initially, I'd say just barely. He really is pretty simple, and I don't think he would really challenge or stimulate Aloy (which I think she needs). Erend is someone who prefers to eat, drink and be merry, whereas Aloy is a very action-oriented person, who I think would still have a heart for action and adventure even after saving the world. As such, I think Erend would bore her. Now, Erend’s affection for Aloy has been made clear, and though I think he has grown a bit in HFW, he still seems to have a tendency to burden her with feeling obligated to give him time and attention (as was the case with him being resentful about her rushing off after the end of HZD). This is definitely not right for Aloy, who really does need to have freedom and independence, and who needs someone who understands that she is putting her mission and duty first. With that said, I do think that over the story of HFW he's somewhat accepted that her mission means that she is not looking for a relationship (to this point). I think he's started to see her more as a sister (like a sort of replacement for Ersa) and Aloy sees him more like a protective big brother. And I think that is the perfect dynamic for them. I love that chemistry between them, but I can't see them being anything more. 
By the way, I know some people point to the look Aloy gives towards Erend when they are standing together at the end of HFW, but I think it's really important to point out here that in this moment she has just looked at her entire gang and has made the choice to move forward on her journey with the help of the people she loves. She then looks at Erend (her oldest friend in the group at that point). With that being said, I think her look in that scene is more reflective of the happy notion that she can have a family - even while she tries to save the world - and not actually an amorous look. 
Nil - I can't believe how many people ship Aloy/Nil because to me it's blatantly clear that he is all wrong for Aloy. Though I think they have similar personalities with being action-oriented, adventurous people (and I agree that – like Petra – Nil would give Aloy the freedom that she needs), they have none of the same values. Nil is not really one for reducing conflict, which is certainly one of Aloy’s goals. Aloy says this herself during a discussion with Kotallo at the base, and he agrees, with her, by the way. Aloy has also been pretty clear during their conversations that she does not agree with Nil’s choices and his lifestyle in most circumstances. This does not lend itself very well to a relationship/romantic partnership.  
Talanah - IFF I were to ship Aloy with someone besides Kotallo, it would be Talanah, but I still don't think this would be a good pairing. Talanah is a bad ass with more nuance than many other characters – and I do think that she and Aloy have similar values and personalities - but she and Aloy are also pretty clearly depicted as simply very good friends and fellow hunters. Their dynamic is really not sexually charged at all, as evidenced by the very platonic hug at the end of HFW, and the frank conversation that they have in that same scene about love (which is in no way directed towards each other). Not to mention that Talanah herself has admitted that she's still a bit hung up on Amadis…
Avad - Blehk. Avad is not a bad guy, but it should go without saying that Avad is a terrible choice for Aloy. She has no interest in being royalty (or Carja, I think, for that matter, with all their excess and opulence), and it is frustrating that he won't listen to her polite refusals, but rather keeps pestering/burdening her with his advances. He doesn't understand her at all, and I think the idea of them being together is laughable. I think the majority of the fanbase agrees, but I’m still including him because he is so forward with his attempts to court her in the game itself.
Friends. Romans. Thank you for staying this long, if you have, and know that I still love you even if you don’t agree with my points. :) 
I will conclude by once more saying that Aloy absolutely should be with Kotallo. They have so much in common in terms of similarities of upbringing, and shared goals, values, and personality traits. Going back to Ashly Burch’s comment from 4 years ago about how she would not personally ship Aloy with anyone at that point, it should be noted that Kotallo was not around at the time. But he is now, and I also feel that Aloy has grown and changed a lot over the course of HFW. She is now more open to exploring relationships of all kind, and I think the game could do some really great things narratively by exploring love/strength through a romantic relationship with her and Kotallo, similar to how they made a wonderful story about the power of friendship in HFW. 
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nimuetheseawitch · 2 years
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Mulcahy’s faith
Alright, I’ve been thinking about this for a while, but this post about Mulcahy and his relationship to his faith and personal theology and how that interacts with the larger concept of Catholicism both in the Korean War and in the 1970s-1980s when MASH aired was brought to you by @marley-manson and me having a full day off. It’s also fun to research Catholicism on Good Friday (although now I’m finishing it almost a week later).
A brief summary because I’m going to put most of this essay under the cut because it is looooong:
Mulcahy starts out the show as a fairly new priest whose faith is untested, and he is trying to conform to the expectation of his religious order, his upbringing, and the army. Throughout the show he grows and changes and finds a unique flexibility and strength in his faith. He’s tested and he starts to push back against the expectations and rigidity of both Catholicism and the military.
I’ve broken my essay into three major sections: how Mulcahy tried to conform, how he broke the mold, and GFA and his perceived future. Please let me know your thoughts because I could obviously talk about this for days.
How Mulcahy tried to conform
Throughout the show, we see plenty of times that Mulcahy tries to keep to the beliefs and practices he was taught, as well as how he tries to live up to the sometimes absurd and impractical expectations of the Army and the priesthood.
Early on, he makes some very excellent jokes that indicate his discomfort with (but also acceptance of) the sacrilegious behavior of the members of the 4077. My personal favorite is when he laughs off Hawkeye’s apology about making dirty jokes by saying he translates them to Latin in his head. 
So much of his growth and change over the course of the show comes from taking his initial uncertainty, naivete, and untested faith and turning it into flexibility, strength, and passionate faith. But at the beginning, he is new and untested in a lot of ways.
In Showtime (S1E24), Mulcahy worries that he’s not doing enough. Or, more accurately, that what he does doesn’t seem to have a tangible effect. His sermons are poorly attended, very few soldiers ask for his aid, and his limited medical training often makes him feel helpless. He’s trying very hard to find meaning and purpose, which I find fascinating from a man of the cloth. It’s not explored deeply, but I think that part of his worry is that he’s having a crisis of faith - if he can’t help, why is he even here? If he, an agent of God, has no measurable effect, is he an effective minister? 
Sidenote: I wanted to reference Thomas Aquinas, but my exhausted brain couldn’t make that happen today. If anyone is a little more familiar with Thomism and wants to chime in, please comment or message me. 
Throughout the show, he struggles with finding the line between what it means to succeed at his job and what he thinks it means to succeed in the Army. In Mulcahy’s War (S5E9), a soldier with a self-inflicted wound also knows Marty “Boom Boom” Gallagher, a WWII chaplain who inspired them both with stories of sermons from a foxhole. But when the soldier stops talking to him because of his lack of experience with the front, Mulcahy feels compelled to see what the front lines are really like, and disobeys orders but saves a man’s life with a makeshift tracheotomy. 
This theme of him feeling useless or not brave enough or just imperfect is a repeating one. It comes up when he gets passed over for promotion in An Eye for a Tooh (S7E14) and once  again overcompensates, this time by acting as a counterweight for a chopper pilot. In Captains Outrageous (S8E13), his promotion paperwork is lost and he lashes out (threatening  "Love Thy Neighbor or I'll punch your lights out!!"). He feels shame at his desire to impress or to be promoted (also part of the plot of Blood Brothers (S9E18) with his frustration at the camp when he’s trying to impress Cardinal Reardan), but has to reconcile with the pride he feels at his accomplishments, from his eventual promotion to his protection and then disarming of the soldier seeking sanctuary in A Holy Mess (S10E14). But this brings me to my next point: when Mulcahy breaks the mold - when he realizes what’s been expected of him is wrong.
How he broke the mold 
I have a deep love in my heart for Mulcahy’s occasional off-color jokes (“I worked my way through divinity school as a B-girl in San Diego”) and his gambling habit (I love the scenes with him playing craps on his knees in the back of Rosie’s or hiding money from the poker game in his hat). The show doesn’t take very long to set him up as an exceptional chaplain. Exceptional in that he manages to fit right in, even though he sews little crosses onto his socks. He can throw a punch and a pair of dice with the best of them, although he always donates his winnings to the orphanage.
The small vices add a lot to his character, but what really interests me are times when he has to balance his calling (and everything he’s been taught is right and proper for a priest) with his need to serve his flock. I think this is best shown in Tea and Empathy (S6E18), when he has an incredibly vague conversation with Potter about retrieving penicillin from a black market stash revealed to him during confession. Mulcahy’s vows prevent him from revealing how he learned the location of the penicillin, but that also pushes him into an incredibly dangerous situation while he does what he can to provide for the 4077.
And the 4077 really is his flock. The nature of his role as an Army chaplain at a MASH means that he is regularly called upon for the confessions of those passing through or for the last rites when they lose a patient, but that his only consistent congregants are the doctors and nurses and orderlies who generally don’t have any interest in attending Mass. He still gives his services (often for an audience of just one very well-dressed Klinger), but like many in the 4077, he finds other ways to spend his time and follow his path. He regularly assists the local orphanage, he helps a nurse study for her MCATs, and he generally gets to know the heart and soul of the camp.
He knows that the staff of the 4077 aren’t interested in his religious overtures, but he ministers to them in his own way. He plays the piano in the Officer’s Club (creating a joyful noise - Psalms 98:4), he serves drinks and listens to their woes and gives advice in an ecumenical kind of confessional (Dear Sis - S7E15), he gardens, he consults, he gambles, and occasionally, he loses his temper, but he stands up for his flock. In Where There’s a Will, There’s a War (S10E17), when Hawkeye is about to barge in on a visiting general and likely get himself in trouble, Mulcahy physically prevents him from making that mistake and instead goes into the tent and ruins the general’s meal by feigning incompetence. He uses his position as a priest to the advantage of the camp as a whole, from the leniency given to him by the brass to his cultivation of community and black market contacts.
Mulcahy also makes an effort to learn the cultural and religious traditions of those he serves, from brushing up on his knowledge of Buddhist wedding ceremonies to doing his best to perform a Jewish bris. I don’t know how much of this has to do with his training as a chaplain (he mentions it a few times, but from what I could tell on my brief research, chaplains didn’t have a responsibility to serve multiple faiths), how much was due to his Jesuit background, and how much was unique to him. It seems that throughout his time in Korea, his faith grows and changes to be much more flexible and accepting of variation than you might suspect, and it also sometimes puts him directly at odds with the Army and his career in the Army.
One of my favorite moments of this is in A Holy Mess (S10E14), where he provides sanctuary to an AWOL soldier. Mulcahy’s opposition to the role of the military in this interaction starts small when he objects to the MP’s interruption of his service, but becomes more significant throughout the episode as the stakes are raised. First he’s just defying the MP by considering the mess tent a church, but then the message comes from the Judge Advocate General denying the claim of sanctuary, and Mulcahy says he doesn’t answer to the JAG, but to the Command Chaplain at I-Corps. When they deny him, Mulcahy decides to persist in supporting this sanctuary claim. We see him deny military authority bit by bit, even denying the closest local religious authority. He determines that he is in charge of what he believes and what he will do for his faith, and he stands by his convictions, regardless of what the chain of command he’s been taught to follow says. I love it as part of his character arc, but it’s also interesting given the context of the time. 
In 1979, a suit was brought “arguing that military chaplains should be replaced with non-combat volunteers or contractors.” (Wikipedia) The case wasn’t resolved until the decision of Katcoff v. Marsh (1985), after the ending of MASH, but it’s possible that the controversy around the role of religious clergy in the armed forces and who they ultimately obeyed contributed to how they wrote Mulcahy. Whether or not that happened, I still love his arc from a fairly untested priest relying on his recent education to the conflicted but passionate priest who is inspired (and sometimes disheartened) by his experiences of war (both human evil and human kindness). He was already going to go home or to his next posting a changed man, but Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen did even more.
GFA and his perceived future 
 In GFA, almost everyone loses (or notices they have lost) something fundamental to their identity, often while doing something so perfectly in character that it essentially destroys them, and Father Mulcahy is no exception. He goes out to save those who no one else is thinking of in the chaos and terror of the shelling: the prisoners of war. He probably already has a closer connection to them than anyone else in the camp, since it’s likely that he provides them with their POW package (as referenced in S3E18 House Arrest) and has likely tried to communicate with them about their needs. In return for his compassion, the shelling damages his hearing, and the hearing loss worsens throughout the episode.
True to form, Mulcahy tries to be what he thinks he’s supposed to be for the rest of their time in Korea. He asks BJ to hide his hearing loss and spends just as much time an effort (if not more) to keep the orphans and the MASH safe. He grapples with what this means for his future as he pretends to be what he was. In the end, he shares that he will transition from his expected future in parish work to working at a school for the deaf, but he doesn’t seem to reveal his own personal investment. He still finds a way to follow his path, but it’s not where he expected to be, which seems to have been his character arc all along - that his faith and his calling are more flexible than he knew.
Conclusion
So, I was going to write more, but this is already been 4 pages in Google Docs. I had sections planned about the background of the Jesuit movement, Irish-American Catholicism in the early to mid 20th century, and some notes about Catholicism in the 70s and 80s and Vatican II, but those will have to wait for another time.
In conclusion, Mulcahy is a badass from the start, but he shakes off some of his strict education and the dogma that went with that. I see him entering his new life working with deaf youth and then being swept up into anti-Vietnam protests with other Catholic priests like Daniel Barrigan and the Catonsville Nine. He’s seen enough of war and has too much compassion for the people whose countries we destroy and the boys we send to fight to support another war.
End Notes
I am not Catholic. I’ve been slightly fascinated by Catholicism since I realized how different it was from the faith I grew up in (ELCA Lutheran), but also, obviously, it has distinct similarities. My step-family is Catholic, but most of what I know is through the lens of Lutheran (those 95 theses, am I right?).
I have very little formal education in religious studies, but I have done a ton of informal study (both within and outside of my faith practice). And one incredible seminar class that I technically only audited about the history of the relationship between Judaism and Christianity, taught by my favorite Rabbi and Religious Studies Professor, and I’m drawing on some of the texts we read for that.
Most of my research was Wikipedia and then the rabbit holes of links from there, so I’m sure it’s incomplete (although I found some books I would be fascinated to read).
I did this over almost a week instead of in the day or weekend I had planned, so I apologize if it’s not as coherent as I’d like. I didn’t do much editing besides taking out a huge chunk of stuff that got way off topic.
Some further reading:
I didn’t even get into Latin American Liberation Theology and the history behind that and how it connects with other radical Catholic movements
Men astutely trained: a history of the Jesuits in the American century
Catholicism and the Irish-American Male
The first place I learned about Catholic priests’ involvement in protesting Vietnam: Constantine’s Sword by James Carroll
This fic that inspired some of my thoughts on a Vietnam-protesting Mulcahy: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27156590/chapters/66321194
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isabelguerra · 1 year
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i’m making a new post 4 this bc i ended up thinking way harder than i thought i would which resulted in writing a small essay on fucking johnny jhonny. so i’m going to put this the tag and make everyone look at it. bc hes a cool character. heres the og post ok enjoy ily
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@spoopyspoony i mean yea if we were dealing with ch1 johnny maybe. but we’re not, so i’m operating on 1 very important key factor here: we’ve ALREADY SEEN johnny not telling things to his friends!
this starts during hitball, the games’ ending is our as catalyst. we see that the words and actions of both hijack and max- hijacks bully/‘good violence’ monologue, max getting his arm broken to save a guy whos only been a jerk to him- begin sowing self doubt in johnny’s view of himself and his archetype role as School Bully. we even see this in action during the rope scene, ollie asks if somethings bothering him and johnny brushes it off in favor of deflecting. when ollie is mistakenly believed to say they wont use violence to get information out of ed, johnny jumps at it. we SEE ollie and rj give each other side eyes at his weird behavior. they dont pry, which is nice of them. but it also means he’s not talking to them, or anyone, about whats bothering him until we get to the ed scenes. there’s a lot going on in the ed scenes that i’m not gonna go into because it gives me a headache but my point is that johnny told a TOTAL STRANGER abt his teenage dodgeball-induced ego death crisis before he told rj, who is Right There.
‘yeah but johnnys fine by the end’ johnnys fine by the end bc he goes back to being cool w/ hurting ppl if it means his friends would still like him and everything stayed the same. u really think tht if it ended w him actually giving more entertainment to the idea ‘should i stop being a bully?’ instead of bouncing back immediately, if he was still made to question his friends’ love for him if he changed, he’d have the same happy outcome? miss me w that 
so ultimately it’s not that johnny doesn’t trust his friends enough to tell them this secret/problem, but that their good graces and friendship mean SO much to him that we see him start to not tell them things if he believes it would jeopardize that friendship.
‘ok but thats why johnny wouldn’t tell his friends about THAT. its still doesnt answer why he wouldn’t tell them about THIS’ good point! here’s what we know: johnny LOVES his friends. johnny would do anything for his friends. including putting himself in harms way and keeping things from them if he’s worried it’ll negatively impact the existence of their friendship. so i’ll counter: ‘johnny has no reason to tell his friends about this shit’? no dude johnny has EVERY reason not to tell his friends this shit! his friends ARE the reason! johnny’s so ride or die that he’ll die if it means his friends can still ride.
forge’s little soliloquy on ch5pg97 hints at a perspective of spectral existence that’s much more grim than the ‘cool superpowered kids fight ghosts’ premise we’re led into the comic with. soooooo if this new change in his life were to. say. put himself or his loved ones in danger. actual, non-teenage, ‘my-last-medium-met-her-end-as-a-result-of-this-world,-and-there-is-nothing-that-can-ensure-you-will-not-meet-the-same-fate’ danger. or! not even put them in danger! just simply lead him to believe that them just KNOWING that danger exists for him, and there’s next to nothing they can do about it? to have the friends he cares so much about constantly worried about him? if they knew, a whole lot would change. to johnny, i think that guilt would be pretty tough to deal with
well. they cant worry if they don’t know, yeah?
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captainschmoe · 5 months
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If you don't mind multiple in one go, how about 20, 26 and 30?
(I'm especially curious about the small change. I always see people talk about huge changes they'd make to Awakening but not often the little tweaks)
Well, you’re in luck, because for 26 I could rant and rave and write a ten-page essay on Lucina’s inability to recruit the child units lol. Which should hopefully make up for the fact that I can’t really think of anything for 20 (since I don’t really interact with fandom in general too much).
Like, at the very least, she should be able to point out to Chrom “hey that idiot over there is one of MY idiots, go talk to them.” Especially because several of the children don’t recognize Chrom or their mothers. Especially because several of the children cite Lucina as a childhood friend. Especially because some of the children could be Lucina’s SIBLING and one (possibly two) of them is a cousin!! Why is Lucina’s only possible interaction with Cynthia fighting her to the death??? It’s just one of those things that makes me more irrationally angry than it probably should.
Speaking of siblings, another thing I’d love to see is the parent/child cutscene changing if they’re Chrom’s child, including a whole family reunion. When Cynthia faceplants, I’d love to see Lucina comment on “those boots of hers” and sending their parents into hysterics. Or Lucina gets angry with Kjelle or Inigo’s recklessness and starts really squabbling with them until Chrom puts on the dad pants and breaks it up. When Brady feels insecure about his inability to fight when his sister is the best swordswoman around, Lucina reminds him of multiple times where him being a healer saved her life. And Morgan, while he doesn’t remember anything, gets a strange sense of déjà vu when Lucina starts sobbing because she was so certain she’d never see him again and their parents’ hearts just crumble to pieces.
As for 30: Been thinking about Lucinigo a lot lately. Mostly of the Adult Stuff variety. I have a stream of headcanons and scenarios but you know, it’s pretty embarrassing to just throw that kind of thing out there.
Also every time I type “fire emblem” there’s a chance I’ll misspell it as “fore emblem” so now you can imagine your faves golfing lol.
Edit: Actually I thought of something for 20: platonic f!Chrobin. Maybe that’s an extremely obvious answer. But there’s plenty of fun little scenarios you can come up with for them if they’re not married. Maybe Chrom did ask her out and she politely turned him down, but then later secretly helped him hook up with someone else. Maybe they and their spouses go on double dates every now and then. Maybe Robin squees over Chrom’s adorable new baby. (Okay, that one’s not a maybe, she DEFINITELY does that lol.) I may ship it as much as any annoying fangirl, but more non-romantic f!Chrobin please.
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pandemoniumskey · 2 years
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A Quiet Day - Sirius Black X (fem)Reader
Hio everyone, Pandemonium here and I’m back again with another fandom of mine. I love Harry Potter so much so the majority of my fics may be from there. 
Surprisingly, this is the first ever HP fic I have ever written and I write a lot on my other accounts on other apps. 
Hope you enjoy this. 
Love you all,
Pandemonium
P.S. (Y/N) = Your name
       (Y/A/N) = Your animagus name
       (Y/A) = Your animagus
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It wasn’t everyday that (Y/N) got to be alone with her best friend Sirius. Today was one of those rare days where James and the rest of the Marauders were off doing their own thing while you were left with Padfoot under the shade of the giant Beech tree beside the lake. Your favourite spot. 
You were sitting against the thick trunk, carding your fingers through his silky, black hair, while he rested his head on your lap. His eyes were drooping occasionally, letting you know that he was falling asleep. 
People constantly thought the two of you were dating and it took a lot of persuading to convince them otherwise. 
Even if you died a little on the inside every time either one of you said “we’re just friends.”
And yet, you would never willingly tell him how you felt, fearing that you would wreck the most important friendship you had.
“I wonder what the others are up to right now?” Sirius murmured, you could see his eyes threating to close at any moment and knew he was trying to keep himself awake. 
“Prongs and Evans are on a date, but you already knew that,” you said matter-of-factly. “Moony is probably in that little bookstore finding a new book to add to his already massive collection guaranteed. And Wormtail.... his following Moony like a lost puppy because he has no mind of his own.”
Sirius laughed at the last part agreeing with you. 
Yes, you had skipped a Hogsmead trip hoping for a quiet and peaceful day you weren’t really feeling up to a whole lot of excitement. You didn’t, however, expect Padfoot of all people to stay behind with you. “And you, I thought you would have gone and found yourself a girl to snog in the private rooms at The Three Broomsticks.”
Keeping the sadness and surprise out of your voice was hard, but you thought you were successful. Sirius chuckled, moving his head slightly on your lap to get more comfortable. 
“Is that so (Y/A/N)?” He was looking into your eyes. You nodded trying to keep the sadness out of your features. He was always able to read your emotions like an open book. “What if I wanted a quiet day off with my best friend?” 
Your heart skipped a beat. “Then your wish would be granted,” you said through a big smile. You loved these fleeting moments with Padfoot, after all. 
His smile matched your own and you continued playing with his hair. “After they get back, I think I’m gonna go to the library and continue my quiet day. Work on some homework. I’m not really feeling up to all the excitement today.”
In truth, you felt sick. Your head was pounding, your entire body ached and your stomach refused food all day. You were hoping the quiet day would be enough to at least relieve you of the headache which threatened to split your head open at any moment. 
“I’ll let them know to leave you be,” Sirius said quietly and you could appreciate that you were always a thought in his mind. “Maybe I’ll even join you in there too.”
You gave it some thought, “you don’t have to. I’m sure James is going to have some wild fictional stories about Trolls he battled while on his date that would be much more interesting than me doing a potions essay for Slughorn.”
“You’re right,” he surrender. “But I’ll come check in on you later, see if there are tidbits of wisdom about the 12 uses of dragons blood I can glean off you.”
“Haha. You may not get much, I’m not good at potions,” you muttered.
“Says the one who created the cure for animagus related illness in her 6th year,” he said causing you to blush. 
“You were sick, the regular stuff wasn’t working, I just tweaked it a bit.”
“You saved more than just me. You saved McGonagall too.”
You remembered the scene all to well, the three of you were too scared to bring Sirius to Madam Pomfrey out of fear of the repercussions of becoming an animagus illegally that you tried your hand at making the cure. You knew you had brewed it correctly, but upon giving it to Sirius and learning it didn’t work you got worried. 
You remembered thinking of ingredients used to heal and added a few of them to a new batch, taking out a few of the ingredients already meant to be in there and adding new ones. 
You feed the potions to Padfoot and within hours, he was better. The five of you later learned that Professor McGonagall had come down with the same thing and was laying in a coma in the hospital wing until St. Mongos could get her. 
You raced with what you had left of the potion to her bedside and forced it down her mouth when Madam Pomfrey wasn’t looking. Again, like with Sirius, she was better within hours and asking how she had gotten better. You confessed to your doings telling her you couldn’t sit by and allow her to die.
The respect the Marauders had for their Head of House was profound. (Y/N) was so surprised when McGonagall later said she had told the Ministry of Magic about the new cure you had produced. You didn’t want the credit, that would launch a spotlight on you that you didn’t want. 
And so you quietly accepted an award from the school and the Ministry and never spoke of it since. They now kept large batches within the hospitals. 
Only a handful of people ever knew about your major accomplishment. The Marauders, McGonagall, Dumbledore, Madam Pomfrey and somehow Severus Snape.
“Yeah, but that was different, I was desperate,” you murmured after resurfacing from that memory. You could still feel the stabbing fear you felt in that moment every time you thought of it. 
“You were still incredible and I will be forever grateful and come to you for everything potions.”
And thus, the conversation ended. Looking at your watch your realized they would be back from the village now and told Padfoot as much.
***
You were sitting in the library. You couldn’t concentrate for the life of you. You were shivering even though you were burning hot and sweating and the aches turned into explosive pain. 
Hardly able to move your quill, you tried writing in the word ‘dragon’ and it didn’t work, instead you slipped from your chair and hit the ground hard, your body spasming without your control.
You heard the tall-tale footsteps of Madam Pince and her sudden intake of breath, “hold on. I’ll get you help.”
Soon after her cool fingers made contact with your burning skin, you passed out.
Sirius POV
He was really worried about (Y/N). All day you were quiet and he could tell you were quite pale, even sick looking. 
Padfoot listened to James as he spoke about the date he had just been on with Lily Evans and as (Y/N) had predicted, he had some whirlwind tale about him thwarting something evil, but he wasn’t listening. His thoughts were on the girl he was secretly in love with. 
“Earth to Sirius,” a voice called dragging him out of his thoughts. 
“Huh?”
A laugh came and James waved a hand in his face, “you weren’t listening. What’s wrong?”
“I have a bad feeling something’s wrong with (Y/N),” Sirius said explaining how you looked and acted all day. Concern grew on the rest of their faces. 
“You said she was in the library?” Padfoot nodded. “We’re going to check on her.”
Everyone got to their feet Sirius was a little confused but he was eager to check on you. 
“You probably wouldn’t remember because you were so out of it, but that exactly how you were last year when you were sick,” Remus said and terror flared in Sirius’s heart. 
Before the four of them could even exit through the portrait hole, it swung open revelling, Professor McGonagall. 
“Boys, come with me,” she said quietly. “It’s (Y/N).”
And they were all dashing to the hospital wing. 
The sight of you broke Padfoots heart. You were on your side, strapped to the bed as you convulsed. Vomit was leaving your mouth in steady flows and blood trickled from your nose. Even though you were so active in your bed, you looked close to death. 
The terror struck deeper within him. He wanted to run to her side, but he knew he couldn’t it was highly contagious and he wasn’t going to fight past two professor and his friends. That same feeling of horror was written on the faces of the other three as they watched what happened to their one friend happen to another. 
“We haven’t been able to figure out what was wrong with her,” Professor Dumbledore said calmly. Sirius hadn’t even noticed he was in the room. His gaze was concentrated on the love of his life. “Her symptoms line up with one thing, yet it is not possible.”
Sirius knew he had no choice to give up the information he knew. 
“It is possible...” his voice was quieter than it had ever been before. He wasn’t thinking about the amount of trouble they would get in, he was thinking of (Y/N).
“She became an animagus two years ago,” he said. “She takes the form of an (Y/A).” 
Upon just hearing the words animagus, Madam Pomfrey was racing across the room to the drawer the vital potion was kept.
“Pray this works everyone,” she said before tilting the potion into your mouth and forcing you to drink it. “This is the worst case ever reported, normally it doesn’t progress this far before the potion is given to them.”
Minutes turned into hours and still (Y/N) had made no progress. Madam Pomfrey forced everyone out of the room to allow for quiet. 
Sirius was having none of that and begged James to borrow his invisibility cloak. James, knowing Sirius’s feelings for you, gave him the cloak no questions asked. 
And that is how he found himself hours later sitting in front of you not even caring that he could potentially get sick himself. Your vomiting had turned to heavy breathing and your convulsions were less server. He didn’t know if it was a sign of you getting better, or a sign that your body was giving up.
“(Y/N), don’t die on me. Please,” he sobbed. “I don’t know what I would do if you died. (Y/N), please, I’m begging you. Don’t die. I need you. I... I love you.”
It was the first time he actually voiced those feelings allowed. 
“I... lo-love... you t-too... S-Siri-us,” he wasn’t sure he even heard it. He continued to sob until he felt a weak had on his own. “D-don’t... cry.” Finally, he looked up and the sight before him took his breath away.
“(Y/N)? (Y/N)!!” You smiled weakly at him and in his joy, he alerted Madam Pomfrey to the fact that something was going on.
“Oh, thank Merlin’s beard you’re alive,” she said clutching a hand to her chest. “I’ll get Professors McGonagall, Dumbledore and your friends.”
“If you... don’t m-mind,” you stammered not letting your eyes leave Sirius. “I-I... need a... m-minute wi-th Sirius.”
She nodded and left to tell the other by foot instead of by magic. (Y/N) took a deep breath, “I’ve loved you for a l-long time.”
Sirius smiled squeezing your hand, “same here.”
You both just sit there in perfect silence until he finally leaned over to give you a sweet kiss on the forehead. 
“Finally!” Remus said upon entering the room with James and Peter on either side. “You owe me three galleons.” Sirius just shrugged at the three of them bickering and turned his attention back to you, kissing you again. 
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Hi okay so I haven’t watched Enterprise so I can’t really turn this into a full essay BUT I think I know enough about T’Pol to at least rant about it 
T’Pol and Amanda are both parallels and complete opposites and I think that’s fascinating to me. They both fell in love and have husbands from a race different than them, and they themselves changed in response to it. 
T’Pol fell for a human, Trip, while Amanda fell for Sarek, a Vulcan. These relationships end up changing them both, for better or for worse. 
Alright disclaimer i thought of this in the shower then did some stuff for a bit before writing this so like i do not fully remember everything so this may be a little all over the place but i promise i should eventually hit a point 
Now, we want to think Amanda wasn’t changed much from her time on Vulcan, but she was. I will mainly be referencing Journey to Babel (s2 ep10) for Amanda’s behaviour, but will occasionally use the original movies. In Journey to Babel, we can see that Amanda doesn’t act exceptionally human. In fact, she acts very Vulcan. We’d like to think she keeps her human love, especially in regards to Spock, and acts like a mama bear protective parent, but everything she does goes against that. The only human things she seems to retain are negative qualities like selfishness. 
She isn’t overtly protective of Spock, and clearly didn’t do enough, if anything, to help him growing up if his response to emotions is anything to go by. Now, that alone wouldn’t mean much, as one persons encouragements wouldn’t do much against an entire societies attempts to go against the encouragements, but the fact that when we meet her, she isn’t very emotional and seems just as cool as Sarek says a lot. Maybe if she was being overtly emotional and encouraging to Spock in the episode I’d be more inclined to believe the earlier theory, and would encourage you to believe it as well, but she isn’t, so I don’t, and I won’t. 
Instead, what we see is her treating Spock the same way she treats Sarek treats him. Why is that important when calling her emotionless? Because Sarek disowned Spock, and she did that too. That’s a big deal for humans. While you hear stories about people getting disowned a lot, it’s not actually very common on a world-wide scale, and even then, we wouldn’t say those who disowned their child were the kindest, would we? It’s a quite big sign of being a less than great parent. I find it very hard to believe Amanda would disown Spock like she clearly did if she still had a human way of viewing emotions. Even if we go the route of her going along with it because of tradition and peer pressure, most humans who do truly and deeply love their children would be vocal against the idea, or would slink around and stealthily keep contact. She does neither, as evidenced by the way Spock acts around her. 
Though she has Vulcan emotionlessness, the times she does show emotion is very human: It’s selfishness! Sarek has a heart attack and is told the only way to save him could also kill her son, and so she begs the child she disowned and cast aside to put his life on the line for something she wants to happen, even when Spock points out the illogicality of the situation would upset Sarek. While Spock also wants his father to live, he acknowledges this isn’t something his father would encourage. Amanda asking this doesn’t mean she’s bad, everyone is inherently selfish in some way or another, but it does show how Vulcan has changed her. 
I’m tired so here’s the cliffnotes version of the T’Pol section
T’Pol is a Vulcan who becomes more human through her relationship with Trip. She becomes better at vocalising how she feels and her emotions. I have nothing more to add because like i wanna write about T’Pol and Spock instead so just. Infer and connect the dots yourself and I’ll probably come back to finish this eventually
SILAS ESSAY SILAS ESSAY THANK YOU FOR TURNING IT IN
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