#i hate the tumblr tag system sometimes lmao
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Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader Chapter 136
warnings: nsfw, dual pov (** indicate pov change)
HMH masterlist
“Haunted houses aren’t even scary.”
Five words you never should have spoken, because it sent Jimmy down a research spiral of every haunted house in Nassau County. He and John have been texting like teenagers for the past two days now over different places they can take you and Tess since ‘haunted houses aren’t even scary’.
Sure, the thought of going into a dark building that is completely unfamiliar is absolutely terrifying, but there’s nothing scary about the corny clown masks and the plastic machetes, or the strobing lights and the sound of a 20 year old trying to get a scream out of you by putting on his best gravelly ‘zombie’ voice. But Jimmy is dead set on finding some place.
Halloween is a few days away, so hopefully he’ll give up on the research by then.
“You know…” you walk into the office and set a book on the desk as John looks at you, “There are days where I’m really glad that we own a bookshop.”
“Yeah, why? Because it was your dream?”
You smile as you nod, then you take a deep breath and tap your pointer finger on the book you set down, “Mostly because I can read books that I end up hating and I didn’t have to pay a dime for it. I feel much better loathing a book that I didn’t pay for.”
John laughs, “You know we pay for these books though, right? We buy them then turn around and make the money back--”
“Just let me have this, Jonathan. Let me live in this for a moment,” you say, putting your hand up as he laughs more, “Also, I’ve been with you for too long. Not in a bad way--never in a bad way.”
“Oh, have you now?” he laughs, leaning in with more curiosity, “Why is that?”
“Well, I’ve been reading a lot of murders, mysteries, and thrillers for this month, and I feel like I have everything figured out. If the man is described as mysterious, there’s probably a reason, like hmm…I don’t know, he’s a murderer who is hiding bodies under his deck in the backyard.”
John laughs, “Spoiler alert.”
Rolling your eyes playfully, you turn and rest your hands on the desk, “It wasn’t in this book, Wick. I just feel like after spending two years with you and having you annoy me with all your…knowledge, I can figure out every twist in these books.”
“I beg to differ,” he says, and you stand up to cross your arms, “We watched that movie the other night and you were so wrong. So wrong.”
“Yeah, well, that plot twist was stupid.” you say, and John playfully narrows his eyes at you, “It was stupid. You even admitted that.”
John laughs as you lean down to kiss him, “Another bad review then?”
“Yeah,” you exhale as you grab a little card to write your review, “It was interesting at first, but it quickly stopped being interesting. I didn’t like any of the characters either. If I had to pay $15 for this, I would ask for my money back. I would not blame someone if they came in and returned this book.”
“Peach, remember, nice reviews.” John says, cocking up his brow. “Maybe you just need a nice romance book.”
You scoff quietly as you roll your eyes, “The last romance book I read had me crying for three chapters straight because they were so cute, then boom! Miscommunication trope. Like, why can’t people just talk? That’s why you and I never seem to fight anymore. If you’re pissing me off, I’ll just call you out and say something about.”
“Just like a wife,” John teases, and you roll your eyes as you laugh. “Have we had any miscommunication? I don’t think so?”
“Hmm,” you hum as you think, “I don’t think so, really. I mean, maybe when we first met. Anyway, I don’t need to read any romance books when I live a romance book. My life with you is pretty fucking magical.”
John scoffs, “I’m not as hot as those guys in those books.”
“Jonathan Wick, are you…fishing for compliments?”
“I don’t know. Am I getting any bites?” he says, and you lean over his desk and playfully bite his finger before sliding it into your mouth as he watches you closely.
You suck on his finger and hold his gaze, then you stand up, “You know damn well that you’re hot like those guys--even hotter. You’re sexy as hell, Wick. Honestly, there’s no reason you should be this sexy, yet here you are.”
John gives you a wink that makes you laugh a little, then you nod and look at the piece of paper as you think of something nice to write. That book was pretty fast paced, that’s a positive. That’s…that’s all you can really think of. You sit on the couch and exhale loudly, then you toss the card aside.
“I’ll just get a review from the site,” you say as you get up and walk over to see what John is working on. You lean against his shoulder as he types on the laptop--responding to an email about a book--then you move to stand behind the chair as you massage his shoulders, “What’s the plan for tonight?”
John sits back in his chair and hums, “Keep doing that and find out.”
You chuckle as you lean down closer to his ear, “Well, come on, that’s a given, right?”
Tilting John’s chin up, you lean down and kiss him a few times as his hand rests on the back of your head to pull you closer and deepen the kiss. You hear the bell above the door ring, so you lean up a little and smile at him.
“I got it.”
John lets out a small breath and nods his head, then he reaches out to spank you when you walk past. You wink at him from over your shoulder, then you head out to see who has just come in.
After helping the customer and ringing them up, you wait a few moments, then you head back to the office and smile when John looks at you. He wiggles his brows a little, and you laugh as you walk over to sit on the couch.
“So, you figured out Ro’s costume yet?”
“I bought two different ones, but I think I’ve landed on one. Does dad want a fashion show?”
John smiles as he looks at you, “Of course. Come here.”
You get up and walk over to sit on John’s lap, and you both wrap your arms around each other as you kiss. John reaches up to tuck your hair behind your ear, then he brushes his finger along your jawline before leaning up to kiss you. You both look over when his phone buzzes, and he leans forward to read the text.
“Jimmy found a haunted house.”
You groan as you get off his lap, “You two are like children.”
“We’re going.” he says, and you raise your brows as you look at him, “I’ll protect you.”
“From teenagers pretending to be scary? Yes, thank you. My big strong man.” you tease, which causes John to frown a little, “I’m not scared of haunted houses.”
John laughs and puts his hands up, “Fine. I won’t protect you then.”
“You know that that just hurt you to say that, right?”
“Right,” he laughs as he gets up and rushes over to you, hugging you tight in his arms, “I’ll always protect you.”
You hug him tight and kiss his cheek, “I know, and it’s one of the many reasons I love you.”
John holds your gaze for a moment, then he leans down and kisses you as his hands find their way down to your ass.
Since having Ronan, things have definitely been a little different. Your routine now includes a baby, which means naps, feedings, playtime, and diaper changes. It’s different from what you’re used to, but she really just fit right into everything. Your routine isn’t so dramatically different that you feel like life is different. Life is good. It feels right! She was the little puzzle piece that was missing all along.
And since having a baby, you and John have gotten right back to where you were before intimacy-wise. It took a few times for you to not feel so nervous every time the two of you had sex but things went really well. John was always considerate and gentle with you since you were still a little cautious about everything, but it didn’t take long for that to wear off and for the two of you to return to normal again. Sex with John has always been gentle, generous, and incredibly passionate. It’s nice that that wasn’t lost.
The bell above the door rings as it opens, and it forces you and John to pull apart. He ruffles your hair and walks past you to see who it is, and you sit down on the couch and look down at the blank sheet of paper meant for a book review. You grab your pen and click the top of it, then you begin to write a not-so-honest review.
__
As soon as the door opens, you hear Ronan babbling and cooing in her car seat and John talking to her. You smile as you come around the corner, and you wiggle your fingers and walk closer to her as she laughs in John’s arms.
“Gimme that baby!” you take her and blow raspberries in the crook of her neck as she laughs, then you hold her up and smile, “Hi, bug.”
John smiles as he reaches over to pull the hat off her head, “She was so giggly when I got her tonight. Mom said she was pretty giggly all day too.”
Ronan has started laughing lately but it’s not quite a laugh--she’s only two months--it’s more of a weird little noise. John discovered it the other day when Ronan was sitting in her bouncer and John was clicking his pen while thinking up a grocery list. He clicked it and heard a little noise from her, and you looked up from the (terrible) book you were reading and you both started at each other. The clicking of pens make her laugh, but her daddy making silly voices is probably what gets the most giggles. Apparently everything is funny to her today though.
You hold Ronan in your arms and close your eyes, then you lean back to look at her, “You getting hungry?”
“I am. Smells so damn good in here,” John says as he touches your waist and heads into the kitchen.
You follow behind him as you bounce Ronan in your arms, then you press the button on the machine to make a bottle for Ronan. John begins to make a plate for himself and you while you walk over to the table, then you get Ronan in your arms and rest your elbow on the table so she’s propped up enough to take her bottle.
“You got a whole system down.”
“I do!” you laugh as you take your plate from John, “I just need one hand free to eat with.”
John sits down and reaches over to pinch Ronan’s chubby cheek, then he cuts into his food and takes a bite. You sit in silence for a few minutes while the two of you inhale your food, then you look down at Ronan as she drinks her bottle.
“Bug, are you gonna go trick or treating with your friends?” you ask, and she reaches up and tugs at a strand of your hair. “You’re gonna look so cute in your costume too. Daddy will think you look so pretty.”
“I’m still curious to know what this costume is.”
You smile as you look at him, “As long as you got a costume too.”
“Hey, we’re not going to a Halloween party this year, so I don’t have to wear a costume.”
“Don’t be a party pooper!” you say, and Ronan makes a loud noise, “Yeah, you tell daddy to stop being so boring.”
John laughs as he reaches over to take Ronan, “Tell momma to stop being so--”
“Ah, ah!” you put your finger up and raise your brows, “Choose your next words carefully, Wick.”
“Your mother…”
You gasp as John laughs, “Don’t call me mother.”
John laughs as he leans over to kiss you a few times, then he bounces Ronan and looks at her, “Kinda crazy about your mother, Ro.”
“Your father…” you lean over and smile at Ronan as John laughs, then you look at him, “Your father is, ugh, kind of ridiculously handsome and incredibly charming. What’s a girl to do?”
“I love you, peach.”
You reach over and cup his face, “I love you too. Just don’t call me mother.”
John laughs when you wink at him as you get up to get a drink, then he leans closer to Ronan, “We’ll call her that when she’s not listening.”
“I heard that!”
__
Truth be told, you were kind of hoping Jimmy would drop the whole haunted house thing, but you know him, so you knew that wasn’t actually going to happen. He says he found a place in Fernbrook which is about 45 minutes away, so by the time you got there, it was already dark and chilly.
Ronan is with your parents again tonight--they don’t mind, of course--so it’s just the four of you. Tess, Jimmy, John, and you. You’re sure there will be more people at the haunted house when you get there, but you wish you would have invited Amanda and Aurelio too.
“So, do you know anything about this place?” you ask, looking over at John’s face lit up by the dashboard. You look out the window as you drive past what you assume is the haunted house, then you look at John, “Uh, we passed it.”
John nods, “Yeah, I just noticed that too. And no, I don’t know anything.”
You hold tight to John’s right hand and look out the window as John continues to follow Jimmy down a dark road. John squeezes your hand a few times to get you to look at him, then he kisses the back of your hand.
“I love you.” he says, kissing your hand over and over.
“I love you too,” you smile as you tilt your head back against the seat and look at him, then you look out the window when you see Jimmy’s brake lights coming on. “Are we here?”
John lets go of your hand to turn, then he shrugs, “I guess.”
You look out the window at the abandoned building and furrow your brow, “Uh, weird.”
**
I look over at Y/N as she gets out of the car, then I quickly get out and walk over to take her hand. I agree, this is weird but this is the kind of shit Jimmy does. I know it’s not dangerous since he’s willingly bringing his wife here, and Tess would absolutely yell at him if it wasn’t safe.
Jimmy claps his hands as he gets out of his truck, then he grabs flashlights from the back, “Alright.”
Tess gestures to the building, “I thought we were going to a haunted house.”
Jimmy smiles, “We are, well, it’s an abandoned school, but it’s haunted, like really haunted.”
Y/N rolls her eyes as she laughs, “Okay.”
Tess shoves his shoulder, “You didn’t say it was haunted. You just said it was abandoned.”
“Why are you both ganging up on me?” he laughs, and I chuckle as I take the flashlights. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”
Y/N looks up at me and holds tight to my hand, “Are you sure about this?”
“It’s just an empty building.”
“But empty buildings can be scary.” she whispers, and she sounds so tiny and cute.
I lean down and kiss her forehead, “You’ll be okay. I’m right here. I won’t let go of your hand the entire time.”
We all follow behind Jimmy as he walks up to the door and tries to pull it open but it’s stuck or locked. He gestures to the window and hops in, then he reaches out and helps Tess. I look at Y/N and gesture for her to go first, then I crawl through the window after Jimmy helps her in.
The foyer is just as spacious and empty as it feels. There’s broken glass and wood all over the floor, and I shine my light down to make sure everyone has on sensible shoes. Y/N steps on a piece of glass and gasps as she looks down, then she exhales and closes her eyes for a moment.
“Thank god I wore these boots.”
“We should split up,” Tess says, and I swear Y/N is going to pass out, “Stop! It’s not really haunted.”
Almost on cue, something behind the front desk falls and causes both the girls to scream loudly. They cling to each other and shine their lights over to it, and Jimmy walks over to check it out. He holds up what looks like part of the ceiling, then he flashes his light up.
“This place is falling apart, so we should be extra careful.”
“So, not only do we have to worry about someone being here, we also have to worry about the place falling in on us.” Y/N says, then she exhales. “Yeah, no, this is totally cool.”
Jimmy laughs as he reaches for Tess’ hand, “We’ll be fine.”
I look over at Y/N as she stands frozen in place, “You good?”
“Trying really hard to look tough right now but if we’re being honest, no.” she says, then she laughs as she looks at me, “I’m terrified. I’m terrified that something is going to happen and everyone will leave me in here alone.”
“Hey,” I cup her face, “Why the hell would I leave you behind?”
Y/N nods as she looks at me, “You’re John Wick, so you’re not really scared of anything anyway.”
“If I see a little kid or hear noises in the opposite direction of us, I’m grabbing you and getting the fuck out of here.” I say as she laughs. “Come on, it’s just an empty building, mouse.”
**
You look up at John and nod your head, then you hold tight to his hand as you walk through the empty hallway with him. Jimmy and Tess are already way ahead of you two, but you know she’s safe with him if something were to happen. Sure, he wasn’t the best cop, but he does still have some training if someone were to attack them.
Walking past every room, you shine your light in it and look around as if someone is just hiding around the corner, then you cling to John’s arm tighter when you freak yourself out over the thought.
Your heart beats faster in your chest when you see a face staring at you, but you realize it’s just your reflection in a mirror on the wall so you suppress a scream. You close your eyes and inhale deeply, then you look down the hallway.
The problem with the dark is that your eyes can make something up, something that you know isn’t there. You know that there isn’t a black figure standing down at the end of hallway but your eyes are making you see that. You shine your flashlight down the hall and relax when you see nothing there. You look over your shoulder to make sure no one is following you, then you look ahead and swallow hard.
“You okay?”
“Yeah,” you say so softly that John leans down and shines his light up to see your face. You smile at him as you walk through the hall, then you finally catch up to Jimmy and Tess in a massive gym.
John looks at you and rubs your back, then he leans down to kiss you, “He wanted to actually scare you, but I told him it wouldn’t work.”
“What?”
“Yeah,” John laughs quietly, then he whispers, “He’s like a big brother to you, he’s just teasing you. It’s all in good fun, baby.”
Which is true. Jimmy really is like a big brother who constantly teases you and is trying to get a rise out of you.
“If I ask you to play along with me, will you?” you whisper, and John nods his head.
You know this was all Jimmy’s idea to get back at you for saying haunted houses weren’t scary. Even though it’s terrifying in here and about two minutes ago you almost screamed after seeing your own reflection, you’re about to fuck with Jimmy.
You look at John and smirk a little, then you frown, “I feel like someone is following us.”
“Really?” he asks, and you nod as you look at him. “I can go look around. This place isn’t that big, but it’s just us here.”
“What?” Jimmy walks over with Tess’ hand tight in his grasp.
John nods to you, “She says she feels like someone is in here.”
Tess looks at you and holds your gaze, then she smirks when you wink at her. She inhales deeply and shivers, “It doesn’t feel like it’s just us anymore.”
“Maybe you two should go look,” you suggest, and John nods his head. “We’ll just stay in here.”
John leans down to kiss you, then he cups your face, “Stay here, don’t move.”
“I’ll be right here.” you say as John holds your gaze.
Tess grabs your hand and holds it tight as John and Jimmy leave, then she looks at you, “I know for a fact Jimmy is shitting his pants right now.”
“Good,” you laugh, “I told him that haunted houses weren’t scary, so I’m going to get him back for trying to scare me. Come on.”
Holding hands with Tess, you quietly make your way to the back office in the gym. You both shine your flashlights around to find an exit door, then you find the door almost pushed shut by a big cabinet, but you’ll be able to squeeze through.
“Thank god, I’m not pregnant anymore,” you whisper as you squeeze through the door, then you tiptoe with Tess down the hall to a room where the two of you can hide in a closet.
“I’m so nervous for some reason.”
“I’m gonna text John to tell him where we are.” you say, quickly shooting John a text to let him know, then you hold your phone tight in your hand.
Tess puts her hand over her mouth to stop herself from laughing when there are footsteps outside the closet, then she looks at you and furrows her brow. You peek through the crack of the door to see who it is but you don’t see anyone, then you look at your phone.
We’re on the other end right now, we’re on our way.
You furrow your brow and show Tess the text, and she widens her eyes.
There were absolutely footsteps right outside the closet where you’re hiding. If John and Jimmy are at the other end, there’s no way that they could have gotten back fast enough to be outside the door.
“Who is out there?” Tess whispers, and you shrug.
“I was joking when I said I felt like someone was following us.” you say, then you text John again.
The joke is off. There’s really someone in here. Come get us NOW.
Tess exhales shakily and holds tight to your hand, “Let’s go find them.”
“Tess,” you whisper loudly, “No! I’m not really in the mood to be murdered.”
“Oh, come on,” she laughs, pulling your arm, “Let’s just get outside.”
Holding tight to her hand, you grimace every time you step on some crunchy glass, then you flash the light from each room to the next as you search for John. You finally get back to the front doors and look around for John, then you shrug.
You press your phone to your ear and listen as it rings but it goes to voicemail as you groan, “Come on.”
A loud bang comes from the room next to you, and you quickly turn around and shine your light into the room as you slowly walk into it. Your heart is beating loudly in your chest as you get closer, and you close your eyes and scream at the top of your lungs when John and Jimmy both jump out at you.
“Oh, you assholes!” you laugh, shoving both of them. “You are so mean to me!”
“You two wanted to scare us!” Jimmy laughs, “That’s not happening on my watch, little sis.”
Tess scoffs, “I can scare the shit out of you right now.”
“Oh, yeah, go on then.” Jimmy says, crossing his arms.
“I’m pregnant. Why do you think I passed on the wine your mom offered me the other night?” she says, holding his gaze as he widens his eyes.
You look at John and playfully narrow your eyes at him, “You’re mean!”
“Hey,” he grabs your hands and pulls you back to him, “Come on. You were gonna scare me too. It’s payback.”
“Still mean, Wick.” you say, then you look over at Jimmy as he stands there stunned over Tess’ news.
Tess scoffs and rolls her eyes, “I’m kidding. I’m not pregnant. God, you’re gullible.”
John takes your hand and holds it tight as you all walk back over to the window to get out, and he quickly crawls out first. He reaches in for you and helps you out, and you wrap your arms around his neck and hold tight to him as he helps you through the narrow window.
“Kinda craving pancakes.” Jimmy says, and you glare at him as he laughs, “Come on, you thought it was funny.”
You did, to be honest, but it’s fun to fuck with Jimmy.
You playfully shove his shoulder, then you laugh, “Yeah, okay, so it was a good scare. Still gotta get you back though.”
Jimmy laughs, “I’ll be waiting.”
John rubs your back and walks over to the car with you, then he opens the door and looks at Jimmy, “Stella’s diner?”
“Sounds good.” he nods, then he helps Tess in the car.
You look at John and sigh a little, “It was you outside the door, wasn’t it?”
“You think I was going to leave you in that building alone?” he says, and you soften a little. “Of course it was me. I was never going to leave you in there alone. Ran like hell when I heard that door squeak open and you coming out though.”
“You know I’m gonna have to get you back now too, right?”
John laughs as he leans down to kiss you, “Oh, I know you will.”
__
“Okay, daddy, here is costume number one.”
You hold Ronan with her back against your chest and your arm under her butt, then you head out and smile as John sits on the couch. He looks over and immediately starts to laugh when he sees Ronan practically being swallowed by the hot dog costume.
“Oh my god.” he laughs as he reaches over to pull the hood up a little so he can see her face, “A hot dog.”
“I thought it was really cute,” you laugh, then you set her in your lap, “It’ll keep her warm too.”
John laughs as Ronan coos, “You like this one? You do? I think you look very cute.”
“I think you’ll like the next one the most though.”
“You’re not gonna dress her up like me, are you?” he asks, and you widen your eyes.
You slap your palm to your forehead, “Why didn’t I think of that?”
John laughs as Ronan holds his finger and he kisses her hand, then he watches as you get up and head back into the guest bedroom to change her. You lay her down on the bed and quickly get her out of the hot dog costume, then you grab the red and black striped pants and smile as she looks up at you with her big gummy smile.
Despite being changed in and out of clothes, she doesn’t seem to care. She just stares up at you in awe as you change her. She’s always been such a good baby, and so damn happy too. It makes you feel like you’re doing something right.
You get the black long sleeved shirt over her head, then you get the costume and put her in it, immediately eliciting a loud laugh from you.
“Oh, you look so cute!”
“I can’t wait to see her.” John says from the living room, and you scoop Ronan up and walk out to him. He looks over and starts laughing again when he sees Ronan in the ladybug costume, then he nods, “That’s the one.”
You hold her up and smile, “Our little ladybug.”
Ronan sits in your arms and smiles at John, then she flings her arms around and garbles as you hand her off to him. You sit down on the couch next to them and smile as you reach over to pull the hood up, and John laughs when he sees the little antennas bobbling wildly.
“Definitely this costume.” he says, and you nod, “She looks so cute.”
You lean over to kiss Ronan, then you kiss John, “What are you going as?”
John laughs, “If I dress up, you have to.”
“Okay, okay…” you laugh, shaking your head, “No costumes for mom and dad.”
“Does mom have a costume for dad later though?” he asks, and you cock up your eyebrow.
You suck on your bottom lip as you look away, then you shrug and look at him again, “Maybe.”
“Is she sleeping in her room tonight?” he asks, smiling and hoping for the answer he so badly wants.
“Maaaybe,” you sing as you take Ronan from John since her costume is making her cheeks turn red.
John smiles when you lay Ronan down between the two of you to get her costume off, and he leans down and chomps loudly in the crook of her neck as she smiles and squirms. He makes silly noises at her to get her to smile big and wide, then he tickles her tummy as she flings her arms around.
“You’re such a good dad.” you smile, reaching up to touch his cheek, “I love seeing you with her. I know I say it all the time.”
“You’re a good mom too. Being parents with you is fun.”
You laugh, “Yeah, it is pretty fun.”
John leans down to kiss Ronan, then he looks at you as you smile at him. He wiggles his brows a little, and you laugh as you get up to pack Ronan’s bag for the night.
“Yes, John, it’s a date.” you say, then you look at him as he smiles wide.
__
It’s Ronan’s first Halloween but since she’s only almost two months old, she obviously can’t trick or treat, so she’ll just get pushed around in her stroller. She’s dressed up in her costume since she’s just so damn cute!
You were planning on just taking her around your neighborhood, but you were invited to go trick or treating with Amanda, Aurelio, and their kids. Tess and Jimmy are tagging along as well, of course.
“Three peas in a pod.” John says when Amanda waves at you and rushes over to hug Tess. “You three are inseparable.”
“She’s a good friend.” you say, then you smile when Amanda gasps and laughs at Ronan in John’s arms, “We wanted to make sure she’d be warm.”
Amanda laughs as she pinches Ronan’s cheek, “You look so cute!”
You watch as John holds her up a little, and you smile when you see Benji dressed as a zombie, tattered clothing and fake blood on his hands and face. You let out a small scream when he shambles over to you like a zombie, then you give him a thumbs up.
“Very cool costume, Benji.”
Amanda laughs, “Dad let him watch The Walking Dead one night, and now he’s obsessed. Does that make me a terrible mom? I’m not sure yet.”
John chuckles as he shakes his head, “We watched Rambo the other night while Ro was with us.”
“She’s three months old. She’s got no clue.” you laugh and look at him, “Now when she’s 8, I’m not so sure.”
“Well,” Amanda laughs and shrugs, “I figured he’d be scared but he’s just obsessed now. Aurelio still censors some of the really bad stuff, but yeah, he’s all about zombies now.”
You smile as Benji walks over and pretends to bite Harper’s arm, which causes her to scream with laughter--she’s dressed up as Peppa Pig. You look over and watch as Finn toddles toward them in his Buzz Lightyear costume that he hasn’t taken off in a week, then he runs over to you and reaches up.
“Hey, Buzz,” you smile as you pick him up, “Hasn’t taken it off yet?”
Tess shakes her head and crosses her arms, “Barely. I got it off of him long enough to give him a bath this afternoon. Look at this bug!”
John laughs as he hands Ronan off to Tess, then he ruffles Finn’s hair, “Hey, buddy.”
“Hey, guys, this is Lauren. She’s gonna join us tonight.” Amanda says, gesturing to the tall and thin woman next to her. “Lauren, this is Tess, her husband, Jimmy. And this is Y/N and her husband, John.”
You smile as you reach out to shake her hand, “Hi, it’s nice to meet you.”
“You too,” she smiles, then she shakes John’s hand. “My husband, Anthony, is inside right now, but these are my kids, Sophie and Dylan.”
Sophie is dressed as a princess and clinging to her mom’s leg, and Dylan is a pirate who is staring over at Benji and most likely wanting to play.
Lauren leans down and smiles, “Go ahead, baby.”
You set Finn down and smile, “I bet Finn would like to play too.”
Finn will play with anyone, so he walks over and starts talking--as best as he can at 15 months--to Dylan, who takes his hand and timidly walks over to Benji.
“I can’t wait for Ro to be bigger. Look at that!” you smile as the kids play together and run away from Benji chasing them. You look over at John to say something to him, but he’s not watching the kids. He’s looking at the house.
Even though you’ve been with John for two years now and feel as though you know every thought running through his head, he’s still maintained a certain level of mystery. There are times when you look at him and wonder what the hell he’s thinking and his face is so stoic and emotionless that you’re left completely in the dark. For example, right now, he’s staring at the man coming out of the house and his face isn’t giving a single thing away. His face isn’t but you see him clench his fist once before he flexes his hand and exhales. He’s getting ready. For what you don’t know yet. Surely he wouldn’t punch this random guy on Halloween night when children, including your daughter, are around.
John is still staring at the man as he comes out of the house, so you reach over and slip your hand into his grip. He looks down at you and softens his face, and you knit your brows together silently asking what’s going on. John looks at him again and takes a deep breath, then he tenses up.
“Hey, John.” the man says, and you look at him as he puts his arm around Lauren, “I see you’ve met my wife and kids.”
John doesn’t say anything, so you do.
“Hi, I’m Y/N.” you reach out and shake his hand, “John’s wife.”
“Oh, I’ve heard about John’s wife.”
You jerk your head back a little as you blush. You hate the thought of people just knowing who you are. You hate the thought that you could be brought up in conversation while assassins sit around a table and drinking expensive alcohol at the hotel. It’s not really something you can escape though, you are John Wick’s wife.
“All good things, uh, from Amanda and Aurelio, by the way!” he adds to make you smile, but he only gets more nervous since John is looking at him.
You tug John’s hand discreetly, then everyone turns their attention to the kids laughing but you and John look at each other. He presses a kiss to the back of your hand and finally relaxes.
It’s okay. He doesn’t say it but his body language does. He’s relaxed. Everything is fine but your interest is definitely piqued.
“Well, should we get going?” Amanda asks, and everyone nods.
Tess gets Ronan back into her stroller and walks over to take Finn’s hand, and you all head down the street together. You feel John’s hand firm on your back as he walks with you, and you both slow down a little as the kids run up to a house.
“Who is he?”
“Anthony DeLuca. Used to work--”
You laugh, “I know that, but why are you so tense?”
“I don’t like when that life sometimes filters into our life.” he says, and you look up at him, “I was worried until I realized he’s married with kids. He’s probably thinking all the same things I am. He’s probably worried for his kids and his wife.”
“Did he retire?”
John shrugs, “I think so, but I’m not sure. I just know what that guy is capable of.”
“He knows what you’re capable of too,” you say as you turn to face him, still keeping one hand on Ronan’s stroller, “I’d be more scared of you than of him any day. Not that I am. You make silly voices at our baby and pout when I don’t kiss you.”
John starts to laugh finally, then he places his hands on your waist, “I just worry about you and Ro. Always. Constantly.”
“I know,” you look over at Lauren and Anthony as they glance at you and John, “I’m sure he’s over there reassuring her too that everything is going to be okay. Our children are here. Nothing is going to happen.”
“Yeah.” John exhales, then he reaches up to cup your cheek, “When did you become the level-headed one in the relationship?”
You laugh loudly as you lean up to kiss him, “I have no clue.”
__
The rest of the night went really well. Ronan got plenty of compliments on her costume even though she fell asleep. Finn got tons of candy that he definitely won’t be able to eat, and Benji was already so hyped up on sugar that Amanda hid half of his candy.
John ended up walking behind everyone with Anthony as they talked, and every time you looked back they were smiling and laughing, so it feels good to know that they’re putting the past behind them. They never worked together and there was no competition between them when they did work. John was just worried. He soon realized that Anthony was crazy about his kids and his wife--just like John is about you and Ronan.
You were planning on stopping by your parents house to show off Ronan’s costume but since she’s so tired, you’ll just have to bring her by tomorrow afternoon instead, which is fine since your feet hurt from walking all night. Right now all you want to do is lay in bed and watch a movie.
**
Heading upstairs, I peek into Ronan’s room and see she’s still asleep, her trusty sidekick, Bleu, fast asleep on the floor next to her crib. I walk down the hall to our bedroom and smile when I see Y/N sprawled out on the bed. I crawl onto the bed and lay down on top of her, and she lets out a loud groan before she starts to laugh.
“Hi,” she smiles, and I lean down to kiss her.
“I see Ro is in her room.”
Y/N cocks her brow up, “I’m not changing my clothes. I bought some lingerie but I don’t wanna get up. Look, I’ll just lay here and you can do whatever you want to me.”
“That’s not fun.” I laugh, and she wraps her arms around my neck, “Maybe you just need me to…warm you up.”
“Mm,” she bites her bottom lip and nods, “Yeah.”
I kneel on the bed and smile at her as I pull her shirt over her head, then I toss it aside and lay back down. I gently kiss down her neck to her collarbone, then I take her skin between my lips and suck softly on her plump breast before leaning up to kiss her. I scoot up a little more and feel her wrapping her legs around my waist, then I slide my tongue into her mouth as we kiss.
Y/N tilts her head back and closes her eyes as I kiss down her body, worshiping every curve and dip, then she lets out a small laugh when my lips graze her hipbone. I kiss along the waistband of her jeans as I unbutton them, then I sit up and pull them off, along with her underwear as she lifts her hips to help. She reaches out for me and hums against my lips, then she’s pulling at my jeans, so I quickly sit up and undress myself until I’m just in my boxers. I feel her trying to tug my boxers down, so I help her and pull them off, watching as she looks down.
“Have I ever told you that you have a beautiful penis?”
I laugh as I get comfortable on top of her, “I think I’ve heard you say it a time or two.”
“Hmm,” she smiles with her eyes closed, “It’s very beautiful, Mr. Wick.”
My cock brushes against her pussy as we kiss, and she lets out a small breath every time I slowly thrust my hips to feel my cock against her clit. I continue to thrust my hips until I feel myself finally sliding between her legs slickly. I lean up a little to hold her gaze as I move in deeper, and she clenches her jaw as her eyes roll shut.
“Let it out,” I whisper, running my thumb over her lips and prying her mouth open, “Let me hear it.”
She opens her mouth and lets out a loud moan, “Fuck!”
“Look at me,” I say softly, then I look down to take her left hand and intertwine my fingers with hers before I do the same with her other hand and pin her arms above her head. Y/N holds my gaze as I thrust my hips, but I can tell she’s trying her hardest not to close her eyes. “I’ve been thinking about fucking you all night.”
She looks deep into my eyes as I jerk my hips harder, but she eventually closes her eyes as she begins to shake a little, breathing heavily along with me. I let go of her hands so she can have control of her body as she climaxes, and she reaches up to pull me down to kiss her.
“Ride me,” I say softly in her ear, and she smiles as she nods her head. I lay down on my back and look at her as she sits up to unhook her bra and toss it aside before she crawls on top of me, “I wanna see your beautiful face.”
She really is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on. I know she never believes me when I tell her that, but it’s true. I also know she worries that I’m not as attracted to her since having a baby and that couldn’t be further from the truth. I worshiped her body before and I do now as well--not that it even looks any different--and I’m still absolutely fucking crazy for her. I found her to be incredibly attractive before having a baby, especially during, and after. She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on, and I can’t believe that she doesn’t see it sometimes.
I close my eyes and hold tight to her hips to help guide her on my cock, and I open my eyes and look up at her as she rests her hands on my thighs and rolls her hips, both of us smiling at each other. I watch my cock sliding in and out of her perfect pussy, and she reaches down for my hands and pulls me up to her, burying my face in between her breasts. I kiss up to her stomach to her breast, then I lightly suck on her nipple as she smiles and caresses my arms and back.
“Fuck, John, you feel so good,” she whispers in my ear, and I lean back to hold her gaze as she ruts in my lap. She presses her hand to her mouth and squeezes her eyes shut, then she buries her face in the crook of my neck as I squeeze her tighter in my arms as she unravels and rides out another orgasm, cursing and moaning my name.
Holding tight to her, I lay her back down on the bed since I know I’m not going to last much longer with these noises she’s making, and I quickly slide back between her legs as we both pant loudly. I fuck her harder and faster than before, and I take her left leg and place it over my shoulder as I move in deeper with a low groan. Her eyes roll shut as I kiss her leg up to her knee, then she whimpers loudly and nods her head, silently telling me to keep going. Y/N sucks on her fingers and reaches down to rub circles on her clit as she looks at me, and I wet my thumb and move her hand so I can do it instead, which makes her smile.
I groan as I jerk my hips, “So fucking wet. You are so fucking wet.”
“Best pussy you’ve ever had.” she whispers, and I nod and lean down to kiss her as I thrust my hips harder to bring on my orgasm.
I keep my lips pressed to hers as I roll my hips, then I jerk them hard every few seconds as I spill inside of her, knocking the breath out of her every time. Y/N frantically kisses me as she clings to my biceps, then she moans against my mouth as she digs her nails into my back, coming one more time. I let out a small groan as I finish inside of her, then I sit up and look down at her as she lays on the bed and pants.
Y/N reaches up and touches my chest as I kneel on the bed, then she laughs when I take her hand and kiss the back of it. She sits up and pretends to light a cigarette as I laugh, then she ‘blows’ the smoke out and lays back down.
“Yeah,” I laugh, nodding my head, “It was good.”
**
You look up at John as he wipes the sweat off his forehead, then he exhales loudly and leans down to kiss you softly a few more times. You cup his face in your hands and smooch him so hard that he starts to laugh, then he puts his finger up and heads into the bathroom.
After a few moments, he comes out and sits down to clean between your legs, then he wipes himself off and tosses the washcloth into the hamper near the dresser. He crawls back into bed with you and wraps his left arm over your waist as the two of you look at each other, and you smile softly when he rubs his thumb over your cheek.
“I know this is the wrong time to say it because we’re both laying here naked, but I miss Ro being in here with us.”
John nods, “Figured I’d go get her in a bit when we’re ready for bed. Just needed you to myself for a little while.”
“I appreciate it.” you whisper to him, “I appreciate you still wanting me.”
“I’m always gonna want you,” he says so softly that your eyes fill with tears, “Nothing is going to change that, remember?”
You nod as a warm tear slides down your cheek, “You just make me feel so loved and wanted and beautiful.”
“Because you are loved and wanted and beautiful.” he whispers, and you laugh tearfully.
“I’m so glad that we’re not like half the couples we saw tonight who just secretly hate each other.”
John shakes his head, “Yeah, that one couple just openly fought in front of everyone, even their kids.”
“Because they’ve grown to hate each other. Sometimes when you’re with someone for so long, those cute little quirks you liked at first end up being what you hate in the end.”
John slowly rubs his thumb over your ribs as he looks at you, “I could never hate you.”
“I could never hate you either.” you whisper, smiling softly, “I think what you and I have is something so unique and special.”
“I agree. Couldn’t imagine my life without you, peach.”
You inhale deeply and close your eyes as John gently kisses your temple over and over, then you look at him, “I got an idea. You in?”
“Always.” he whispers without second thought, and you get up from the bed.
Grabbing John’s hand, you tiptoe past Ronan’s room and peek to make sure she’s okay, then you head downstairs as you giggle. John has no idea what the plan is but he’s following along anyway.
“Where are we going? We’re naked.”
“I know!” you laugh, then you open the patio door and run out, immediately jumping into the pool. You come up for air and smooth your hair back as you look up at John standing in all his naked glory in front of you with his hands on his hips, “Get in! Unless you’re…chicken.”
John laughs, “Why would I be chicken to get into our own pool?”
“If you weren’t, you would have gotten in by now, so…” you imitate a chicken as John laughs, then you stand up straight, “Come on, Wick. The water is warm.”
A wide smile spreads across your face as John jumps into the pool, and you squeeze your eyes shut and laugh when water splashes everywhere. He comes up for air and grabs you by your legs, then he throws you over his shoulder as you scream with laughter.
“You know…” John puts you down so he can smooth his hair back, then he grabs you, “You’re very sexy when you talk shit.”
You laugh loudly, then you wrap your legs around his waist and kiss him before he spins you around and hugs you tight in his arms. You tilt your head back and smile with your eyes closed, then you moan when you feel John slowly slipping back between your legs as he kisses up your neck.
“You gotta be quiet though.”
John laughs, “Oh, me? That’s all you, peach.”
“No, you always lose it when we have sex. Can’t have the neighbors knowing we’re out here.” you tease, and John laughs as he walks over to pin you between the wall and his body.
You hold tight to each other as he slowly jerks his hips, then he reaches up and slides his thumb into your mouth as you whimper. You close your eyes and cling to John as he thrusts his hips, and you lean your forehead against his, surrendering to him.
__
@wheretheriversrunintothesea | @sakurachan-9 | @hhighkey | @that-one-writer | @samaraj | @aragornswife | @tnu-ree
please let know if u want to be tagged or removed!
#john wick x reader#john wick x you#john wick x y/n#john wick imagine#fic: hold my hand#i know people on ao3 weren't fans of john's pov but idk i wrote this before they told me and i didn't want to change it lmao#i'm a little stubborn sometimes#anyway#i hope you all enjoyyyy#i might have to reblog this a few times because apparently tumblr hates me so people never see when i update#and the tagging system is shit#ok i love yall bye
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with the character asks lore maybe you could compile it all in a searchable text file of sorts? like google doc or word or something, copy the text of the ask and the answer, n then put some like searchable 'tags' above or below it
like:
'hey whats the casts jobs?' - anon
iggy web developer genzou bike repair shop etc. etc.
- careers professions
i use this system to organize my stuff usually ^0^ the tags are because i know ill forget what specific wording it had and would just search things generally around the topic that might not be in the base text itself. like if its a more in depth description of my characters appearance, ill write tags for synonyms for appearance, phrases like 'looks like', and certain features id probably mention like a mole on the foot or something. i also put the date on things sometimes, seperated so its searchable like 'october 7 2021'
it could also be sorted by categories of ask? like if its about something outside the game, a writing process or your own thoughts on a part, then another category for in-world facts and things, so on and so forth
this is just an idea of course, but i thought it might help maybe? >.>;
ohhhhhhhhh
something like that's not a bad idea
although it all really comes down to tags. like i just need more tags. even if i had more tags then it would be a lot more easily searchable here on tumblr too 💦 right now i only have ow: asks and char info asks that i added more recently specifically for char info. but i wonder if even just creating a better tag system for types of questions, char specific info, etc., would be helpful even as a first step for helping people look through old asks more easily...
THERE ARE OVER A YEAR'S WORTH OF ASKS THO SO IT MIGHT TAKE A WHILE LMAO (hence why i can never find anything anymore if i need to go back in and search 💦💦)
i will try maybe just coming up with better tags first. then i'll need to ofc spend all the time actually going through and adding the tags sob... and then decide if it's something i should eventually take off tumblr. but i kinda hate making ppl leave. it feels like it could be a hassle for ppl, unsure tho ahhhh
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Hi! Random question but what's the funniest/most awkward situation you have ever been in with a headmate/headmates? Also, I love your Tumblr. It helps us through a lot of system denial :)
Thank you so much!! We're glad to hear that, we try our best to make it a safe and positive space!!
I don't think we have stories that people would count as incredibly funny, however, we have a few that stand out to us as at least amusing, lmao. And awkward... don't even get me started.
I (co-host) keep texting people trying to make friends, and don't ask nor tell anybody. And then I just dip. I think it's a pretty effective strategy. :D
The amount of times somebody told us something that we know we would have memorized by hard. Like when we're supposed to have our lessons. And then we'd switch, be asked about it, and don't know the answer as to what that thing was. It puts us in such awkward situations IRL cause of our parents.-
Today, remember the couple that went on a date? One of them had to front to take our sibling to their classes, and they were sulking, so our co-host & persecutor-caretaker had to keep their composure when their partner, from the inner world, said our sibling looks like an offended ostrich.
We got berated for eating the host's chips. We now have a policy about eating chips. Because people ate their bag of chips...
One of the funniest stories were probably with one of our alters who went mostly inner now, though. They once purchased a premium on an app we use a lot without telling anybody, and at the time, we could buy a whole McDonald's meal for that amount of money. Then, we put them in charge of English classes, and they were definitely working, but their way of working was roasting everything and cracking some of the most hilarious jokes we've ever heard. That same alter then offered our mother cyanide.
Some of the things we say are so fucking funny that we made a quote book. For ourselves. And our partner systems. There, we not only have hilarious quotes, but some of the funniest roasts we've ever seen, one of our favorites being:
Host: It's kinda funny how I can do everything alone at front, and y'all have to do it collectively when I'm not around.
Co-host: Nah, we're just healthy.
Our co-host sprained our foot. And called the bandage on it "foot prison." I am not elaborating on their behalf. /laughing
In the inner world, we have this thing where we can track people and where they are at that point in time (especially our robots can do that), and sometimes people decide to play tag. And since our inner world is our inner world, what we basically see is a dot (that represents a person you're watching) telelporting from point A to point B to point E in a matter of seconds. Which doesn't sound funny, but picture it, lmao.
The number of posts we made that were purely targeting each other is insane. And you will never know that they are targeted unless we say something, we are sneaky like that.
At some point some people in the inner world discussed fucking Jesus?? And I mean doing the deed, not the "fucking Jesus." We still have no idea who or why.
And then another two people, whose names we know, discussed our partner system's semi-sentient hotel and what its type would be. In detail. And who they could pair it up with.
Our host is still salty at one of our prosecutors because they bought them cocoa instead of coffee, didn't tell them, and our host couldn't figure our why the coffee was sweet but tasted well, considering we hate coffee with sugar. And then they realized.
Our host address purple so much that now all of us gotta keep up with the idea what "we, a singlet, definitely a singlet (/s), love purple so much" because explaining to our bio family that we don't like it anymore but we also do but also don't would be too difficult for a number of reasons.
One of us can just decide that it's chicken nuggets day, and we will have chicken nuggets for lunch. Not because we don't want to upset this somebody by refusing but because we'd literally switch on the streets halfway to chicken nuggets, stare at the distance for a couple of seconds, and accept our fate.
We generally talk to ourselves in public constantly, we have no shame about that, especially since it's mostly in English, which is not our first language. That got us a lot of looks. We also do that in VCs with our partner system, and we openly switch in front of them and talk about inner world shit.
Hope that gave you a few laughs. /g /pos
-host, co-host & persecutor-caretaker, sexual persecutor
#did system#did#osdd#osdd system#dissociative identity disorder#system#other specified dissociative disorder#did osdd#system stuff#system things#osdd 1a#osdd 1b#complex dissociative identity disorder#cdid system#cdid#did stories#did positivity#osdd positivity#system positivity#plural positivity
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hi! i'm ash
they/them/xe/xem • panromantic • asexual • non binary • autistic (with suspicions of having adhd) • english • atheist quaker • a tad bit silly
been on the tumbler since 2021 so i know my way around here but i dont get every little reference (i get most and for the ones i dont i just nod and smile along). i am still a teenager so some Classic Posts are older than me and most are from when i was in primary school.
i dont really have a sophisticated tagging system, but if it helps, spouting to the void is my text post tag. i dont even strictly use it for text posts tbf
blogs i run:
this one (obviously)
@blues-amazing-blog - oc blog (currently on hiatus)
@wswe-autism-fic - fanfic blog (for waluigi says 'wa' everyday until dekuyama is popular). i also treat this as an alt account for fandom stuff sometimes
@knuckles-with-a-keyboard - silly little blog where i pretend to be boom!knuckles (i really really love this blog its so fun)
@jupitercl0uds-art - my art blog (shock horror)
@nonbinary-sticks-the-badger - my sonic blog
external links (whoops forgot to add this)
maybe one day ill set up a linktree idk
ao3
letterboxd
twitter (i only use this for posting from my switch now)
spotify profile
email me - [email protected]
dm me on discord: jupitercl0uds
i think thats it
click this link for more external links including some of the above ones but specifically how to contact me if i cant use tumblr
interests:
omg i love so many things its not even funny. a few important ones are waluigi (special interest), sonic the hedgehog (special interest AND hyperfixation (omg please kill me)), art (like, as a general thing, but particularly visual) and you WILL find me randomly posting oh-so-passionately about something ive never even mentioned before.
i do animation and illustration but that's over on my art blog. also all my animations are WIPs. you probably won't find anything other than a few weird lip syncs from when i was like 11 (i got into animation because of gacha life and animation memes). most of my art is sonic atm lol.
i also read and write fanfic! my wattpad and ao3 is jupitercl0uds :D
wattpad is mostly old stuff, crack and occasional reposts of my ao3 stuff. ao3 is mostly whatever is on my mind at the moment and WSWE.
misc
occasionally i get all heated up about actually important stuff. that's usually sandwiched inbetween my regular goofy goober behaviour. for the basic gist of it: very left wing, the tories are cunts, vote green, free palestine. you also need to understand the weight of that sentence because i hate swearing.
i have other socials too but i dont really use them that much. got bored of twitter and i forget about all my other accounts. only ones i use now are whatsapp (lmao), tumblr and i guess ao3 and wattpad. theres no real point in linking something i havent used in months
anyway, have a nice day and please go to bed on time!
faves (non-exhaustive)
AUTISM BOY!!!! ANXIETY GUY!!!! MILES 'TAILS' PROWER!!!!
he's been my favourite sonic character since i was little!!!! except for that brief period where it was amy because i found out tails was a boy and i, as a 7-year-old girl who had just learned about misoginy, decided amy was better because she was a girl. and that briefer period where it was cream because she had confetti in sonic dash.
my favourite iterations of him are scu tails, classic tails and sonic boom tails!!! i h/c him as autistic, having anxiety, low self-esteem but also being really cheerful and nonchalant about a lot of stuff. i enjoy trans tails of all kinds, but i believe in cis gnc tails.
NON-BINARY ICON!!!! TOP SURGERY GUY!!!! WALUIGI!!!!
call me thomas jefferson cause i have an entire binder on this guy. waluigi is THE blorbo from my spin-off-party-shows. i got into him because 'hahahaha! it is the funny garlic man's funny rose partner!' and that became 'they could marry me and i'd say yes on the basis that we'd get to see each other everyday, even if i only love him as a friend.
im very passionately hateful about 'hot' waluigi. shut up. waluigi is perfect. i hope he can be canon one day <3 i h/c him as autistic, transmasc non binary and really into gothic lolita. i interpret their relationship with wario as romantic partners and waluigi being super super poor. also, wlw mlm solidarity with rosalina!!!!!
anti-faves
dr starline
i love a bisexual icon as much as the next person but starline is not it. i want him to Suffer. which is why i then go on to make loads of fanart of him where he's crying over something. in the one shown above, i have just kicked him in the balls (full image). i also would love to be a VA for him because that'd really piss him off. good style tho. you go girl.
manjimutt (sorry but i only have 1 image of him)
hello to the other living yokai watch fan out there. i hate manjimutt. when i was younger i felt sorry for him, cause i was like 'oh, poor guy, always going to jail!!!' no. die. i do not like him. i hate manjimutt. i do like saying his name tho. MAnji-mutt! i think i hate him more than starline, because at least starline has redeeming qualities. the only redeeming qualities manjimutt has is pity because hes not actually committing crimes. thats it. hes not a nice person. hes just a guy. hit him with a wooden plank (har har).
that poor poor poodle though
posts i like
idk posts on my own blog i like a lot. idk if thisll be A Thing because im literally only doing tthis because of the first post on the list
recognising a url and the chaos that followed
stuff about my lgbtq+ identity idk
THIS IS HOW MUCH I KNOW ABOUT SONIC OK!!!!!
can you call me that slur?
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Rules and brief about!
Welcome! This is a rp blog for ygo characters. Probably going to just stick with mostly Yami Bakura right now. But I might add others later.
Here are some general things you should know:
- I am very new to rp still. And still not super familiar with Tumblr. Still a lot of things I don't know or have never done before, so please keep this in mind
- It almost feels like my first time ever encountering ygo.
I've just picked up the manga for the 1st time about three days ago too.
- I am an adult and would prefer characters and muns to be 18+. No nsfw stuff with minors
- I really do try to read and remember everyone's rules, but sometimes I forget my own rules, so please forgive me if I forget something
- On that note, I am pretty forgetful, in general. I try to jot down notes to help with this, but there is a chance I may forget an ic interaction
- Try to give me about a week before giving me a reminder, though.
- I am VEEERY slow a lot of the time. Like, many days, maybe a week, slow. Sometimes more than a week. Not always, but just giving you a heads up.
- I try not to spam notifs or dash, but, it might happen, occasionally. I will always reblog from the source, unless the mun has made it explicitly clear that they actually prefer it be from them or don't care either way or, for some reason, I can't get to the source.
- I am kind of the exact opposite of most people, it seems. I actually would LOVE it if you went on a like spree. And I actually prefer it if you reblogged memes from me (as long as we have spoken at least once). And dash spam almost never bothers me. You can also come into my ims, that doesn't really bother me either.
- I'm not the best at # tagging stuff. I haven't really got a system going yet
- I follow #omi-nor and #ominor, but I don't look at tags very often
- Please don't be afraid to @ me for dash games, lmao. I usually love those. May not always do them, but yeah.
- I am a very heavy cell phone user, but, so far, I don't think I've run into trouble because of this. Trimming is the only big thing I have doubts about still right now.
- Rules could change. I tried my best to give some solid info here, but it could change. I'll probably make a post if there is a change?
(I really hope I'm not forgetting something because I am writing this from memory.)
- I am pretty anxious about stuff. I'm trying not to be, but it's hard.
Like, sometimes I look at a meme and there's a part of me that wants to do it, but there's also a little pang of anxiety a lot of the time. Lol, I dunno, man..
- I may not answer every ask or do everything thing. And I'm trying to get better at sometimes saying no to things. But I don't want people to get discouraged about interacting, either, lol.
I also try not to pressure other people and a lot of stuff coming from me doesn't have a whole lot of expectation attached to it. (Like, if I @ you in a dash game, for example)
- One important thing about communication: I always feel like I'm in a tug of war of trying not to talk too much to people because I'm worried I'm bothering them just a bit and then realizing I may not be talking enough, so I'm basically a stranger to them.
- "Plot something out" kinda scares me a bit, cause all the rp I've ever done - I think - was just off the cuff. Maybe it's not as scary as it sounds and maybe I've technically already plotted without knowing it. But yeah.
- I might need to take 2 or 3 weeks off from time to time. Just giving you a heads up. I'll try to say something.
- Going by Rainy for mun name. It just kinda stuck, lol.
- It's very easy for me to feel a bit overwhelmed. A part of me hates to do this, but I may need to temporarily shut down my ask box and not accept @s or #s for a bit if I feel like I have too much to do. I may need to make a very short ooc post just to let people know?
- I'm going to say, yes, all my memes have no expiration date, though.
- On a similar note, I think it's very possible I will go through your posts and send in stuff from a very long while back, in some cases. I usually assume there is no expiration date for other people's memes, but I usually try to ask first. But if there is, please feel free to ignore.
- I may or may not use icons
- If I see a reply to a thread and I am super tired, I won't read it until I've slept long enough for me to feel better (which could be a long time). I feel like being tired while reading really distorts things, so I like to only read it after I've gotten some sleep.
Honestly, the same is usually true for even ooc conversation. I just don't do well when I'm sleep deprived and sometimes I will just pass out for, like, 12 hours. (I LOVE it when this happens, though. I feel great afterwards.)
***ABOUT YAMI BAKURA***
My Yami Bakura is, right now, based off of anime English dub canon, for the most part. But now that I have the manga, it might slowly start to change a bit. Not sure.
I kinda wanted to try Ryo, but I haven't found Ryo in the English dub to be very inspiring, so far. A lot of his screen time was him just kinda flatly explaining the duels. Poor Ryo. You see glimpses of an actual character, at times, but it's rough, man.
I was debating keeping Ryo or not, but just to avoid confusion, I'm gonna wait to see what the manga has to offer.
Can I lastly just say? I really like the ygo rpc so far.
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My pinned post:
Hello, my name is Echo! I come in relative peace. My dysgraphia will leave me making all sorts of typos, so be ready for that lol.
If you're curious about things like my queer labels, pronouns, names, and just what I have that makes me disabled and mentally ill, you can click here.
I have been on tumblr since 2011 originally, and have been using a secret account to follow and like and reblog posts that has no connection to me lmao, since about 2015. I guess I got tired of doing that and now I am here as myself.
Main fandoms are: No Straight Roads, Hellaverse (Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss), Welcome Home, Cult of the Lamb, and Steven Universe right now.
I am sir-swears-a-lot, just warning in case you don't like a lot of swearing! Also, sometimes I spam reblog from my mutuals or people I follow, just a warning!
Click/tap the read more for boundaries, my main tags (plus tags you can use for filtering if you have triggers, squicks, phobias, or just don't want to see me post about certain things!), and misc info!
I have a queue set up to post 12 posts per day, and I shuffle it 3 times after I get done adding more to it. The blog pretty much runs on it now.
LAST UPDATED: April 7th, 2024 (04/07/24)
I hate DNIs because they don't really work, but I will let you know what types of people I tend to block! Some of these have a higher chance of being blocked than others!
Minors (This blog is nsfw and at most has an "nsft tw" tag on SOME posts, minors get DA BOOT)
Exclusionists (I'm everything you hate, also anyone who uses TME/TMA to describe themselves and others gets DA BOOT)
Ableists (I'm a bipolar borderline psychotic crippled bitch, fuck all the way off and get stomped by DA BOOT)
Anti(shippers) (I'm the scary proshit that you were warned about, ooky spooky! You get DA BOOT extra hard since you tend to be deplorable people who value pixels over REAL fucking lives!)
Pro-c/neu-c for non-consensual paraphilias/The Big Three (I support anti-c paraphiles and also pro/neu paraphilies getting help and allow for anti-c's to interact with me, if you don't like that, DA BOOT is waiting xoxo)
Also generally if you have rancid vibes or I feel impending doom when I look at your blog or replies, you get blocked (And of course DA BOOT)
System-related stuff: I am a system of 4 (technically 5 but it's complicated) beings. 1 host and 3 alters. My alters are all nonhuman, and 2 of them (Doll and Zap) are in a relationship together. The relationship is romantic and sexual. I am making a promise to myself to tag who posts what, assuming they decide to poke at this blog.
My alters and their pronouns, species, and tags are as follows (pic included, made with picrews ages ago, forget what they are sorry!):
Eve, she/her, demon (succubus), #💋eve
Doll, it/its and they/them, ball-jointed porcelain doll, #🧸doll
Zap, he/him, android, #⚡zap
Random system info:
All my alters have indeed written/created before, and have different styles and themes to their creations.
They all indeed have different likes, tastes, and hobbies.
Eve formed first in 2003, then Doll in 2005, and Zap in 2006.
All of them are ageless, but it's fine to refer to them as the age of the host (25)!
There are 6 distinct inner worlds.
We have very minimal amnesia between switches, but still experience some confusion.
My main Ao3 is indeed my tumblr username. The real "social media" place that I use most is a mastodon instance, you can find that in my linktree on Ao3 if you're brave enough (and 18 years or older) lol. I am completely unfiltered on there, so be careful and stay safe!
Tags for reblogs (and maybe posts) in case you need to filter:
#Q = Queued posts, aka what this blog runs on
#discourse tw = Most forms of discourse
#shipcourse tw = Ship discourse specifically
#ableism tw = Discourse, but ableism focused
#queerphobia tw = Discourse, but queerphobia/exclusionist focused
#racism tw = Discourse, but racism focused
#current events tw = For (mostly USA) politics, wars, genocides
#traumacore tw = Traumacore/ventcore related things
#mental health tw = Mostly dark humor relating to mental health
#abuse tw = Mentions of abuse (relationships, child, etc)
#drugs tw = Drugs and drug mentions (regardless of use purpose)
#rapid switching images tw = Rapid switching images (for epilepsy)
#flashing lights tw = Flashing lights (for epilepsy)
#shaking images tw = Rapidly shaking images (for epilepsy)
#eyestrain tw = Bright colors, optical illusions
#loud sound tw = Loud audio, typically sudden
#insect tw = Any bug or bug-like thing, so spiders included
#sea creature tw = Fish, sea creatures (seaslugs, octopus, etc)
#rodent tw = Rodents (rats, mice, squirrels, etc)
#bird tw = Avians, flying or otherwise
#bat tw = Real/realistic bats
#reptile tw = Reptiles (snakes, lizards, etc)
#amphibian tw = Amphibians (Frogs, salamanders, etc)
#dog tw = Canines in general, so yes wolves are included
#horror tw = General horror tag (body, psychological, etc)
#trypophobia tw = Clusters of holes
#scopophobia tw = Eyes that are staring
#dead dove tw = The "typical" problematic themes
#gore tw = Gore, guro, etc, lots of blood here
#nsft tw = "Not safe for tumblr", aka nsfw or suggestive stuff
#PSA = For important stuff. Tends to have other TW tags on it too!
#mutual aid = Mutual aid reblogs, self-explanatory
#polls = Polls, both ones still going or done
Specific fandom tags I use because I am too scared of getting dogpiled while using main fandom tags:
#En Es Ar = NSR (No Straight Roads)
#Double U Aitch = WH (Welcome Home)
#Aitch Aitch = HH (Hazbin Hotel)
#Aitch Bee = HB (Helluva Boss)
#Sea Oh Tee El = COTL (Cult of the Lamb)
Tags for my own purpose, typically text posts I make.
#burntembers.txt is my tag for text posts or general rambles and general stuff. Will use this a lot when making text posts!
#warmembers.txt is for nsfw rambles/talk, maybe some links to Ao3 stories if I'm feeling brave haha.
#sparkingembers.txt is for ranting/rambling about disabilities, mental illnesses/disorders, and general neurodivergent shit.
#moltenembers.txt is for fandom related talk/content. Typically me blabbing about headcanons and general deranged shit lmao.
#snuffedembers.txt is for ranting/rambling, discourse related things, and general venting. Because why not, why not?
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can you maybe explain what the about me doc in your pinned is all about because i just opened it and i have no idea what i'm looking at <3
LOL…. lmao even ok so back when i was a dr**m stan (I AM NO LONGER I THINK HES AN AWFUL PERSON AND I REGRET THAT I DIDNT REALIZE THAT SOONER) i was how you say… problematique ! so i would run my blog in a way that people would just send me whatever and i would respond or just post it neutrally and sometimes people would complain about other minecraft youtubers and i would tag that accordingly as “#[minecraft youtuber name] neg” but bc of tumblr’s awful tagging system by having the youtuber’s name in it, the (hate) posts would show up in their normal designated tags tho not intentionally. one day the tumblr fandom of hermitcraft came across one of the anti asks i posted and got thrown into a real tizzy about it and Well one of them wrote an insane 3 page document detailing all the mental illness i definitely had and why i was definitely a bad person in real life bc of some of the opinions i held about minecraft roleplay (i love villains) and other youtubers (i didn’t like certain ppl for petty dumb reasons) (still don’t) (but begrudgingly less so now bc i’m technically on the same side as them) (but in a way that’s more awesome and nuanced). so that’s what’s linked in my abiut me so everyone knows exactly the kind of crazy i am 🫶
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Yeah because systemic oppression of queer communities for millennia means it’s understandable when members of those communities sometimes act out/react badly. Mailin has every privilege in the bag so of course flaws aren’t so easily forgiven
Hi anon! 🧇 Ngl I thought this ask was going to go in a different direction, one that was going to make me complain a lot more lmao.
I was talking about badly written seasons specifically. I'm not talking about queer characters (or any kind of minority characters actually) behaving badly. I love Isak and he was an asshole to like 95% of people he came across. Cris was also an asshole. Kieu My was a bystander to bullying and pulled some dick moves in s5 and s6. I hate to even put Ava in this paragraph, but when she had a personality, she didn't just exist to be Mailin's hypewoman, she had her own motives and pain that meant she didn't say "you go gurl!" to every stunt Mailin pulled. Lol of course members of oppressed communities aren't always precious angels, but we as a fandom give wayyyyyyyyy more leeway to white/light-skinned queer characters than we give cishet (or otherwise) characters of color.
We also give more leeway as a fandom to ASSUMED queer white characters, as we saw during s6 when the Druck social media team had to DEFEND Ava in youtube comments because commenters were massively siding with Mailin. And it wasn't just on youtube. Here on tumblr many people gave Mailin every benefit of the doubt even when Druck kept showing that she was more focused on coming across as the wokest person in the room, than on actually being a good friend to Ava and Fatou. And that was because even in s6, Mailin was assumed ace or sapphic or both. Same with pretty much every Sana/Vilde conflict. Vilde and remakes were given a lot of leeway because people thought she was sapphic. (And to be clear, I think a queer reading of Vilde makes a lot of sense. I'm not saying people are wrong for thinking Vilde is gay. I'm saying that because we/people think Vilde is gay, Vilde enjoyed a loyal fandom who defended her in fandom discourse.)
So if I'm fine with some queer characters behaving badly, why am I not okay with baby Robbe and Isi and whoever else? Well, because they're fictional characters first of all. Ideally, the character arc of a Skams main will be about ("you know what that is?") GROWTH. Isak was taken to task for pretty much every shitty thing he did, and eventually he learns to be more patient and generous (in his season anyway lol, s4 is a bit more complicated) as shown in week 10 when he's a completely different person to Vilde, and lets bygones be bygones with Emma. Likewise Cris was slapped across the face with the consequences of her actions until she made more efforts to understand the people around her and focused on giving them what they needed. Nora G realized that she'd been going through life thinking she had it all figured out, when abusive relationships are more complex than she thought looking at them from the outside. I do not think Robbe was given a character arc that addressed the bits the writers decided to add for funsies, like accusing Sander of abuse or the hate crime. Isi's redemption arc after bullying their childhood friend is, lmao, nonexistent. The love story with Sascha is perfunctory, Sascha and Lou were included because the season had too many poc as leading characters, and Sascha really only exists to make sad faces when Isi once again mistreats him. Then they're given a happy ending as well as the compulsory sex scene.
So you said Mailin's flaws aren't so easily forgiven, and I will say, depends on the viewer. If Mailin has every privilege in the bag, then Sporty Spice has one more. And yet I had to see on the tag a post about how op actually prefers Sporty to Mailin and thinks he's a more compelling character and his season would've been better. The thing is though, with this writing, Sporty would've been just as flat of a character and any storylines just as "how do you do fellow kids". But people like op would've loved it anyway because the actor is so cute. And there are plenty of people (see: youtube commenters circa s6) who still think Mailin is fucking great and think those that attack her are misogynists and "reverse racists" and "fake woke" and "looking for something to hate".
My conclusion being that of the post I already made. Eva Mohn also had pretty much every privilege in the bag, but her season was well written, her character arc made sense, her flaws were addressed, and the character (and by extension, the teens who Eva represented) were validated wherever she was right. And if Druck absolutely had to rob Ava of her well deserved season, the least they could've done was deliver a good Mailin season. And they didn't.
Edit: Also like I said on the tags to a reblog, I don't even place most of the blame on the writers. Q3 were also criticized for a bunch of issues in s3 and s4, but they decided to get educated, invite a diverse film's collective (Jünglinge) onboard and try to improve. And they weren't given the chance to complete this gen as they envisioned. If this bunch of writers, who are after all inexperienced, decide to improve and incorporate fan feedback, ZDF will likely get rid of them too. The problem is ZDF, and the writers are perhaps even more expendable than the cast at this point.
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Bestie I've been away. What's been happening with the tumblr CEO? - ash
Oh god 😭 I guess someone sent him an ask about "transphobia" on TNT Tumblr staff bc trans people got banned sometimes, and one particular TIM had a bunch of his SFW selfies tagged as NSFW and was termed. And the CEO basically apologized or whatever? I honestly haven't even really seen his response lol, just everyone else's outrage. Everyone is acting like they fucking killed the TIM 💀 someone compared him to George Floyd because he's like the one everyone is talking about but proof of a larger issue, people are making posts about telling the trans women in your life you love them because they could be gone (have their Tumblr deleted) at any point, posting about Tumblr's transmisogyny problem, blah blah, it's ABSURD.
I'll have to take a screenshot for you next time I see them lol, luckily they seem to have cooled off already. Fucking insane though. Like learn from the terfs, worsties, we get termed so much we have a whole system 😂
But on a more serious note, legit they're so fucking dumb tbh. Like, a couple trans people getting (supposedly) mistakenly termed is proof that the entire website is run by terfs, trans genocide, blah blah, but the radfem community literally ALWAYS has to deal with getting deleted, not by accident but on purpose, and that isn't proof that the website hates terfs....? Like bro be consistent lmao
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Rip, I'm screaming rn. Anon that asked me like a month ago what my name is, I thought I answered and realized I didn't and answered on mobile today and somehow lost the ask, so lmao here is both my name and a mini landing page as I am working on my current landing page!!
Quick about, byf/dni, and things to tag.
Again my landing page is a wip, should be here soon!! Mayybe under a cut who knows I'm on mobile.
About
Call me Ami or Katara!! I'm 20 (almost 21), a fat disabled queer nb woc (no being non-binary and a woman of color is not an oxymoron). I use she/they pronouns.
I'm latine and desi! I live in the US (New England lmao 😔) which like I don't think is important then I find out that some of my mutuals are canadian or british or something and I lose my mind.
Puedo hablar español pero tengo difícil escribiendo en español. Y entiendo que eso no tiene sentido porque leer en español es más fácil de leer en inglés. Pero cuando estoy escribiendo en inglés estoy pensando de las reglas de español, y en español estoy pensando con las reglas de inglés 🙃. My extent of speaking in any sort of desi language is saying hi, bye, "I don't know", "hurry up", food names, and family titles in my family's language. And even then I mess up because my cousins are all married now (and have been for years) and I'm meeting their spouses now and being told there's a word for sister's husband, I don't have to call them bhai, and yeah
[ID: A person sitting on the ground holding their face in their arms. Their eyes are closed, and their mouth is open as if screaming. End ID]
Before you follow/Do Not Interact
DNI
- General DNI criteria (racist, homophobic, transphobic, radfem/terf, misogynistic, islamophobic, anti-semitic, xenophobic, pedo apologist, incest shipper/apologist, etc.)
- If you "age up" fictional characters who are minors to write smut fics about them.
- Can't think critically about the media you consume, and think that popular pieces of media/fiction doesn't affect reality
- If you ship real people
- If you support jkr in any way, shape, or form
BYF
- Minors can follow, but would appreciate it if you're 14 or older. I say this as someone who's been on tumblr since before the age of 14, and am hoping to impart some of my wisdom onto you
- I'm super critical of all my media interests, and very vocal about pieces of media/characters I don't like! If that bothers you, don't follow!!
- I hate t*ylor sw*ft. I'm a classical musician and I actually have a lot of reasons both of just her music and how she presents herself to the public. Yeah I hate her 😘
- I don't really have a tagging system, (I'm trying but it's hard) so if you like neatness, dont follow!! Will tag trigger warnings tho!! Ask if you need something tagged.
- I try and reblog images/videos with descriptions, but that's hard and time consuming so sometimes I don't. If you see me like a post of yours and it doesn't get reblogged for like four months that's because I started writing an ID, got interrupted, and saved it as a draft and haven't had a chance to finish it.
Things to tag
- General triggers (violence, death, assault, racism, etc)
- Flashing lights
- Sharks
- Clowns
Yeah thanks!!
[ID: An edited screencap of Anakin Skywalker from Revenge of the Sith. He is in a spaceship, and his profile is visible. He has a communicator headset on, and is speaking into it with a smirk. The caption reads "This is where the fun begins." On the left side of his face is a semi-transparent behind-the-scenes photo of Hayden Christensen dressed as Anakin. His hair is messy and stuck to his forehead, his gaze is downward and dull, his lips are in a tight line. He looks defeated. End ID]
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wait shit where's my post where i was "if they touch macallan's lore i'm quitting"
#tginking abt the tf1 callback#and WHY thry made it now out of all times#that and the viper callbacks. bringing blisk back. yknow REVIVING ash#i Do Not Trust Respawn#look look. barkers the mostly likely of the three to be brought back bc he's a fan fvaorite#macallan is dead and VERY solidly dead. like space dust and nuclear explosion kind of dead but that hasmt stopped them before#ash was LITERALLY ON TYPHON when it went boom (unless i missed a piece of lore) and she was space dust dead!!!!#and they still brought her back!!!!#also graves is dead?? as far as we know at least#and like. blisk has come back. blisk wants smth enough to come knocking on ash's door. blisk also has Very personal beef w mac and graves#like...ur teammate. a part of ur unit. the pilot u work with throughout the titan war betrays you#and then fifteen yrs later you very narrowly miss getting to kill himself yourself? and watch him get his final moments of heroic glory#even if he died he still messed up your plans and then was framed as a war hero?#and then to top it off ur long-time commander for those fifteen yrs AND the yrs in the war. Turns around and betrays you as well???#leaving you to be one of the only people left in charge of a floundering army stranded at the far end of space???#bro i would be fucking PISSED#wait shit *****graves ISNT dead#i hate the tumblr tag system sometimes lmao#anyways. if they bring thr tf1 cast back im fuckong losing it#this doesnt include barker or briggs they deserve the spotlight and were also in the second game#homk honk#head full many thoughts
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Heydie I’m Sadie!
I use they/them pronouns and I post art and some writing sometimes!
More info under the cut - includes other socials, tagging system, requests/trades/commissions status, and a master post about Lauren for any confused newcomers :]
Oh - and my username is pronounced Blan-yuh <3
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My previous usernames were A-SMALL-COLLECTION-OF-NONSENSE and CACTINCACTOUT
I use this account mainly to post my art and headcanons, but a large part of my presence on here is purely shitposting jdbdjdbs
My main fandoms at the moment are Hilda, The Owl House, and Ducktales, but I am a multifandom blog so I dabble in whatever lol
You can find more of my stuff on Instagram, and Twitter! I have some other socials but I’m not really active on there
Please credit me if you repost my art
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My Ask Box is currently OPEN - I might not answer your ask immediately - it’ll prooobably me a few days or weeks to get around to it, but I generally try to answer all my asks eventually! I’m just very slow
ANONS are ON
REQUESTS are CLOSED [x]
ART TRADES are CLOSED
COMMISIONS are CLOSED
Please do not ask for any of the above marked “CLOSED”
I get these questions quite a lot so if I come off abrupt/rude when responding if you do ask, please know it is not personal!
I’m alright with people sending in suggestions for scenarios or character combinations, just about anything really! As long as you aren’t specifically requesting a drawing. I might respond to with a doodle, but I also might just write out some headcanons
Feel free to send in asks about whatever you like - questions about my OCs, AUs, or anything!
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If you frequent my blog you may have heard of my OC Lauren! I post about her a lot, so if you’d like to know more about her, please check out This Masterpost, containing all the information about her available on my blog, organised for ease of navigation :))
EDIT - This post is now outdated! I’m working on an updated version, but it’s gonna take a while sooo patience pls lol! It still has a lot of context info tho!
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Here’s a lil guide for my tagging system -
MY ART - Self explanatory, there was a phase where tumblr banned the word ‘my’ so you might find some stuff tagged under ‘OUR ART’ lmao
MY WRITING - ^^
SADIE SHITPOSTING - I mainly use this one for any funny/shitposty text posts
SADIE THINKIN - for my rambly text posts, it was ‘SADIE’S THOUGHTS’ for a while
TEXT POST - Used for any posts that don’t contain images or videos - any post that’s just text. I started using this as of 7/7/21 so anything before then won’t be tagged with this
IMPORTANT - Can range from announcements to reblogs of petitions or donations, or just stuff I want to remember, may also be used for discourse posts
SERIOUS POST - Anything discourse or “drama” related
ANON HATE - Relatively self explanatory, however don’t worry if you see this! Just because I’ve tagged something this way doesn’t mean I have been effected by it, I just want to ensure that people can filter these posts out should they want to :)
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Enjoy your time here lads lmao <33
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this is such a random question but i wanted some advice? how do you not let others people opinions affect you? i am on twitter (big mistake i know) and i get so upset over ppl actions and hypocrisy over things that i just want to call them out but it wouldn't do any good bc ppl are stubborn and double down when called out.
i wanna just not be on twitter anymore but i hate not knowing things in fandom, it feels like i always have to be up to date (and twitter is the fastest and also the translators are there) but i hate it bc knowing things is also what make me sad/mad.
UGH idk what to do, i guess i just lack the maturity? sigh i am sorry this is so random but i always see you as so mature that i wanted advice, to see if there is something i can do i guess?
hi there, friend! this is a complicated situation because you said you hate not knowing things in fandom which i totally understand, i’m a virgo, i Need to know things!! akdkskkd so i used to keep up with fandom news all the time.
but then i created a toxic headspace for myself, letting everything and everyone get to me to the point where my anxiety caused me to get physically sick (which still happens from time to time so i have to step back, focus on something else or i might get sucked into old bad habits again).
the only way i found to keep myself sane was staying away from all of that. because even if you’re a mature person who understands that people are different and sometimes toxic, this constant wave of information and being exposed to all kinds of people, they take a toll on you.
now i just occasionally check that bl update twitter account, my friends send me info from time to time, which helps, but that’s it.
i don’t go on twitter, i have many tags blocked on tumblr and i veeeery rarely check main tags, i prefer to check my friends’ blogs instead. the ones i know i can find good content without negative things.
and even then, sometimes i still need to vent about certain things and luckily i have a friend whose opinions are quite similar to mine, so we talk about things in this safe space that helps me feel better.
i may seem mature (it’s easy when i live in a bubble lmao) but i’m a lot like you, i internalize these bad things, especially because i hate putting them back into the world but then it causes ME to get sick.
so my advice would be: try to curate your experience as best as you can and create a safe space for yourself. blocking everyone that says things that bother you, checking only certain twitter accounts or just receiving notifications from them. avoid main tags, i know this is hard but those places are….. too much, and don’t read general comments because satan lives there aldkskkd just blatantly ignore them like lalalala i can’t read!!
and even then, it might still be a lot sometimes, so i suggest finding a friend whom you can talk about these things with, even the petty ones that annoy you. find someone who accepts all of your rage and ask them “hey can i vent with you today?” and go OFF about it (if they say yes, of course). i swear it makes ALL the difference because it’s too heavy of a burden to carry alone.
oh and find funny videos to watch when you’re feeling overwhelmed, they have to be completely unrelated to the things that are bothering you. i’m currently into watching reviews about bad christmas movies and i swear, they take your mind off things!
so yeah, it’d be stupid of me to come here and call you immature for feeling affected when in reality i’m the same and just happen to live in a bubble with my support system.
i don’t think this helps much because it limits your sources of information so you might not want to do it + creating a safe space and finding the right people is HARD, it’s not something that happens overnight but can i ask you to please try?
you can start slowly. block those people you want to call out if you haven’t yet, it’s therapeutic alsksksk and if you fail today, you can always start again tomorrow!
because you don’t deserve to suffer this much when all you’re doing is trying to have fun with your interests!
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i saw you talk about “blocking etiquette” in one of your posts and i was wondering if you could briefly explain that? my blog is a baby (i joined in march) so i really don’t know any of the unspoken social rules haha. i feel i should know this before i say anything ever thats dream critical lmao
also saw you have a ton of asks so feel free to answer or not there’s no obligation ! take care of urself it seems like a lot to handle rn
I'd like to preface this by disclaiming that I've been on Tumblr since 2014, so I think I have a good sense of blocking etiquette as it's evolved with Tumblr culture, but I might still be presumptuous/wrong about some things.
Anyways. So, on Tumblr, there's generally always been a "block first, ask questions later" mentality. No matter the fandom, people kinda just unfollow or block people at will because Tumblr's algorithm is so shit at recommending things for people that unfollowing/blocking are really the primary ways to tailor what you don't want to see. So, if you frequent a search term/tag search, like "dream smp," you'd likely block someone who posts things frequently to that tag, but whose content you dislike. Blocking is, obviously, still used as a means to stop interacting with just plain assholes, as it is on every social media site. But more times than not, Tumblr users block blogs for neutral reasons related to how they want to tailor their social media experience, rather than a personal vendetta against someone.
Frankly, from my perspective, this was the main use of block lists back in the day. They weren't so much ways to truly hate on anyone's blog since anyone deemed a true asshole would likely spur a reporting campaign against them, rather than an addition to a blocklist. No, Tumblr blocklists were almost always so people who frequented certain tags simply... didn't have to put up with some people. If there was a wave of problematic shippers inundating a fandom/character tag, of TERFs inundating trans/feminism tags, or something similar, they would likely be put on a blocklist simply because Tumblr users wanted a comprehensive list of people they might come across, but didn't want to have to see posts from. Along a similar vein, a lot of mcytblr blogs advocate simply blocking people who post imagines in the main mcyt/dream smp tags, rather than harrassing each and every one of them into fixing their tag habits. Like, they're just annoying, really, and this social media site is so big that just blocking the ones who frequent the tag is so much easier than anything else.
One notable difference about Tumblr blocking as compared to Twitter blocking is the malintent behind Twitter blocking. Twitter fandom subtwts will advocate for blocking someone particularly if they're being cancelled/a Twitter user simply dislikes them enough. In addition, I've seen more than one Twitter user unironically say that they block people who unfollow them, as if following/unfollowing them were a personal affront, and blocking people were some component of this social game that reeks of cliqueness and high school levels of maturity.
That isn't to say that Tumblr blocking etiquette doesn't have pitfalls, because it has many. The main one I've noticed is that, especially in smaller fandom spaces, someone who's considered problematic might be enmassed blocked by lots of users in that fandom, and effectively be shut out of that fandom. If they're put onto a blocklist, a problematic post is circulated enough, or they're blocked by enough "big blogs" in the fandom, these users can be kept from reblogging, liking, or sending asks to a large part of the fandom they participate in. Vague posting doesn't really get you anywhere on Tumblr because of how insular each blog is, as opposed to Twitter, where screenshotting someone's profile who's blocked you and/or complaining very obviously about someone blocking you without naming them is commonplace and can be easily spread throughout a subtwt. This means Tumblr blogs who were mass blocked end up reaching much less members of their fandom, cannot really stand up for themselves in the face of mass blocking unless they're infamous enough for people to recognize their name, or participate in the discourse that promoted their blocking in the first place. While I haven't really experienced this, all of this is taken from what I've observed mutuals and recognizable blogs going through over the years.
Another note is that this website is kinda fucked, coding-wise. We all know this. This means that there are a million holes in the blocking system that make it even more annoying to navigate when people have blocked you, and that ends up getting more people blocked than maybe should be.
First of all, those imagine blogs aren't just posting in the main tags for shits and giggles, or to be cumbersome and clutter the main tags. They're doing it because Tumblr is dying, and even in a fandom as big as mcytblr, it's almost impossible to boost/promote your original content. The Tumblr algorithm sucks at spreading awareness about popular posts, more and more Twitter refugees means less and less people who fucking reblog > liking posts, and basically the only way posts can blow up anymore is by being found through a tag that is trending or frequently browsed through the "most recent" setting. This includes dream smp and many smp character names, so obviously imagine blogs are going to take advantage of this and maintag. It's the reason mcytblr constantly tags "m*necraft" despite being told off, time and time again, for doing so by mineblr. And it's the reason I've likely been blocked by many people- because I had to make the decision between spreading awareness of a post that took a lot of effort and that I thought was important enough to main tag despite being critical/negative, or keeping mcytblr happy by not cluttering their bias's tag with a crit post. Sure, some of mcytblr likely blocked me because they thought I was annoying/disagree with me, and that's fine. But I'm sure many blocked me for the same reason I block imagine blogs and mineblr blocks dream smp stans- because they wanted to peruse their fave's tags, and they simply blocked a random blog that posted something they didn't like, without really thinking much of it.
Second of all, side blogs kinda fuck up how blocking works. It's annoying as hell to see a post you really like in the main tag/search, only to find that the person blocked you upon trying to reblog. Because of sideblogs, people will oftentimes block a sideblog because it's that user's fandom blog, without blocking their main, so the user is left kinda seeing their stuff time and time again, without being able to interact with it.
Speaking of how fucky the code is because of the blogging system, reblogs make it even worse. Most social media sites simply make it so a blocked user cannot see another user's profile, posts and all. But Tumblr not only allows this, it kinda fucks up the search function by sometimes allowing people you've blocked/who've blocked you to show up in main tag searches, it didn't take into account the fact that you can still see an OP's post when someone else reblogs it, and Tumblr didn't think to just fucking fix all these holes and just wholly omit someone's posts if they've blocked you, or you've blocked them. So, despite blocking people, you can still be logged in and see all their shit, and they can see yours. It's kind of annoying as fuck.
#a nyways this was so fucking long why did i do this#im so bored im gonna play minecraft bc fuck my life and responsibility or whatever#asks#tumblr meta#mcyt#dream smp#tumblr#blocking#also i didnt proofread this i apologize if its relatively incoherent
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wonder if part of why the swtor jedi-sith conflict plays the way it does with “sith stans” and etc because the sith empire are functionally saturday morning cartoon villains - “murder and mayhem await!” compared to the more, i guess, believable evil of the republic/jedi following good ideals to bad conclusions and justifying war crimes
I'd certainly say it doesn't help things, you're right! I have...a lot of issues with the Jedi and their portrayal (especially in the Legends/SWTOR era), but I also recognise that a lot of that is very personal to me and that another fan might feel differently. Long, ranty post ahead so if that's not your deal, skip this one.
TL;DR: thinking critically about the behaviour of the Good Guys bad, I guess, since they're the good guys and you're obviously not allowed to use your own agency to decide something they do makes you deeply, viscerally uncomfortable. And God help you if you disagree with anything they do and cite personal experience behind your (very justified) avoidance of that rhetoric/teaching, because Bad Things Justified If Good People Do Them and how dare you have different personal experiences and responses. If that's what you do, you're doing fandom wrong /s Also, bad writing choices of the writers themselves that perpetuate toxic, harmful viewpoints and/or stereotypes don't mean anything when said viewpoints/stereotypes are the Bad Guys because...Bad Guys Aren’t Supposed To Be People With Rights, Thoughts and Feelings Too, They’re Just Evil, (cringe)
Disagreeing with someone’s opinions is fine, but if you’re going to deliberately expose yourself to content you don’t like and then attack the person that is making the content because they made it and it upset you when you went looking for it....you are, in fact, the one at fault babes. No one is holding you hostage, you can block tags or unfollow a person (especially me. I really don’t care honest to god, if my posts are not your jam just leave. please.) if you hate what they post so much and are unable to just scroll past things you don’t like to stay for things you do. I’ve done it and will continue to do so, and my fandom experience is happier for it.
Also, people are human and sometimes we’re tired and we make mistakes like we miss a trigger tag, and you are within your right to come to the person and point that out, but you are not within your right to threaten them because they made a mistake. Then you’re just a dick.
But I still wouldn't be the one going around (passive) aggressively attacking other fans for disagreeing with my opinions and again, this is based on personal experience, but I've seen a lot more of that stuff from "pro-Jedi" people who seem to be conveniently okay with shit like mass-genocide and cultural erasure because "the Jedi are the good guys and the (OT) Sith are fascists!"
I don't interact with the subsect of fans that do think "the (OT) Empire did nothing wrong hurr durr" unironically (and for good reason, I don't agree with that viewpoint either and the fact that half the time the "defence" of these other fans is "well you're pro-fascist then!!" lmao) but there's a very big gap between the OT Empire which is rightfully a mirror of fascism and dictatorial governments and I do, in fact, raise my eyebrows in heavy criticism and disdain at the writers of the TOR-era deliberately choosing to "justify" the ultimate end being said fascist Empire by making the Sith species (and as always I preface this by saying I am in fact white & therefore know I have priveledge and can only "relate" on a much shallower level as POC fans, but there are places where I do find them more relatable than the TOR-era Jedi which reek of conservative, pearl-clutching Christianity (which I spent way too much of my life having forced upon me by the bible-bashing Evangelists(tm) in my family) to me and I just don't have the fucks to give to spend time fixing something that's honestly traumatising for me to be reminded of):
-heavily Indigenous/POC-coded
-"tribal" and not in a properly-researched and respectfully portrayed sense but in a very deliberate "these people are savage and need to be colonised and "sophisticated" by the More Acceptible (Human) Dark Jedi" even though they had their own society, belief systems, and even had technology - just not in the "socially acceptible, conventional sense" I guess
-perpetuating this by adding slavery and all of that can of worms into the mix too, just to drive home the "evil and bad" prototype ig. I'm not even gonna speak more on this part because it just makes me angry.
-Deliberately giving them more "alien" or inhuman characteristics, which while by itself is not necessarily a bad thing, put it together with all the other things?? Big. Fucking. Oof.
-Were literally exterminated and the survivors selectively bred for ONLY the "bad and evil" traits for not agreeing with the Jedi's beliefs. Their own practises and beliefs were automatically "evil" and "wrong" just because they didn't want to "convert" (sniff sniff, Christianity, is that you?)
A direct quote for those who can't be bothered to click and read the link:
For nearly two thousand years, superstition, loyalty and sympathy were bred out as the two groups interbred, and qualities such as cunning, ambition and affinity to the Force were favored, which shaped Sith society over the centuries.[3][21][22] In the Sith Empire, as time progressed pure-blooded Sith were steadily bred out,[6] resulting in only a few pure-blooded Sith left in the Sith Empire by the time of the Great Hyperspace War.[13] Long after, the true species in the Empire were believed to have gone extinct due to the interbreeding process.
And conversely the Jedi:
-Deny young children contact with their parents, siblings and families from the moment their Force sensitivity shows (hmmmm. )
-Continually and actively support the condemnation and Exile of "imperfect" Jedi, hell, it's even pointed out on Wookieepedia, that any Force sensitive, even those who are not aligned to either faction, but that train with or follow teachings that are not Jedi Approved (tm) is labelled as a "Dark Jedi" by the Jedi Order
Although "Dark Jedi" originally referred to a Jedi who had fallen to the dark side, it could also refer to uninitiated Force-sensitives who received no Jedi training but began their careers under another Dark Jedi. Others were simply dark-side users who did not follow the teachings of the Sith or other dark side organizations.
because "oh noooo you do not follow the way of the Truth and the Light you horrible person how dare you defy The One True Correct Teaching, that makes you the Devil Incarnate no matter what" UGH.
-Continuously push the idea (very heavily) that Emotions Are Bad, which just creates a bunch of emotionally-stunted powderkegs unable to recognise, confront and deal with said emotions (and as I've said, I would know, I was one and maybe still am in some ways lmao) , then blames said powderkeg for exploding because they were never taught how to handle the emotions in the first place.
(Fuck "there is no emotion, there is peace", that's not how people work and never will be lmao)
I don't really know what else to say about this to be honest, because even though I've only been on tumblr about a year now, I'm already tired of this constant "I'm right, you're wrong" finger-pointing between those people in the fandom.
Cause to some of these "pro-Jedi" people it's an unthinkable crime to dare to have a different opinion to them and just want to be left alone, I guess. I've literally been attacked for saying "I don't like the Jedi and find dealing with their dogma too traumatising based on personal experience and trauma from my childhood so I'm going to avoid it but you do you"
I've had American Christians (tm) clap back to that with the ever-wonderful "LMAO bitch you don't have religious trauma, you didn't grow up in the bible-belt, stop trying to be edgy, shut up and go to therapy"
(all of this is sarcasm, for those who need me to spell it out for you. I'm still traumatised by the shit I went through and have to constantly check myself and my own feelings because of the toxic "habits" those teachings tried to push onto me as a child and I have zero tolerance and patience for your (not you, ssalmon, but the royal "you" as it were) victim-blaming abuse apologism "gotchas")
because 1) clearly American Christianity and the bible-belt are the only insidious and harmful subsect of Christianity and it's not like the concept of Evangelism as a whole is inherently toxic, harmful, and traumatising to those subjected to it right
2) Obviously there's a Stated Right Way To Be Traumatised and anyone who falls outside of that (Non-Existent) handbook is "faking it for attention"
3) bold of them to assume that curating my own fandom (and life) experience, and refusing to engage with things that trigger me, isn't something that I literally fucking learned in therapy lmao
Also, I find it funny how these are the people going around attacking people like me, who are literally minding our own motherfucking business, but then claim to preach “love and tolerism” and all this other bullshit. Karen, sweetie, only one of us is going around telling people they deserve to be murdered/stabbed for disagreeing with thier opinion about a videogame and pointing out that “hey, that’s...very yikes maybe don’t do that, step back and calm down” and it ain’t me (true story, this happened a couple of months ago and I don’t wanna dredge the post up because it’s very upsetting to think about)
People are allowed to have opinions, and they don’t have to agree with your opinion just because that’s what you think, and the second that you sink to sending people death threats because they don’t share your opinion, you are, in fact, the asshole in that conversation.
It was even funnier because the person in question followed me first, I initially thought they were pretty cool so I followed back, then they threw a massive temper-tantrum and threw a bunch of very upsetting and triggering shit at me without my consent because I didn’t agree with them (I’d even put my opinions in tags on MY blog in an attempt to be courteous and not hijack their post with negativity, in hindsight perhaps I should have made my own post in the first place and I do acknowledge that BUT if that’s all they’d said I would have apologised and moved on, quite gladly, there was no need for them to explode the way they did at me for...making a mistake because I’m a stranger on the internet who didn’t know them & wasn’t a mind-reader and I happened to miss a trigger tag that I didn’t think of at the time lmao)
This post is getting awful long and rambly so I'm going to shut up now, but that's my take on it I guess, I hope that's what you were getting at and if it's not I apologise, I've been taking a huge step back and actively just avoiding any and all major posts related to this discourse as of a few months ago because it just infuriates and upsets me too much, it’s not worth the detriment to my mental health, I’m just here to make friends who are also hyperfixated on SWTOR and have fun vibing and talking about our characters, not get into one-sided morality debates with pearl-clutchers. 🤷
#swtor critical#fandom critical#jedi critical#tw: stabbing mention#tw: death threats#tw: genocide mention#elven rants#elven screams into the void#<< vent-y/ranty tags. block these + any specific faction/character criticals if you don't want to see posts like this#i think i've got all the triggers but if i've missed something just approach me like a normal human being and ask me to tag for it#and i will lmao that's literally in my blog's blurb but Some People can't read ig#🤷#i'd even tag some of this as#purity culture bullshit#because imo that's what it boils down to in essence#''love and forgiveness the only morally good pure way to live hee hee anyone who does not do this exactly is Bad and Evil''#i am begging you to find other braincells purity police. and then actually learn to USE THEM. please
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Part 1: Hey! I love your art/OCS and your blog has introduced me to your friends who also have awesome OCs. This made me notice that Tumblr and Twitter seem to interact with original characters differently. I'd love to meet people and friends who'd like to interact with my OC doodles, but Twitter feels like a difficult space to get interaction, despite more artists moving over there. Whereas years ago, I had ask blogs for my fan-made and original characters which received plenty of interaction.
hi! yeah, from my experience twitter is a lot more eh... hostile when it comes to looking for interaction. it's a site that runs on people making short slapstick posts, with very limited characters, so people generally cant even talk a lot about their ocs in the first place. twitter also hides long threads, condenses them in your feed so you dont really see them
most artists have moved there bc of the nsfw ban, and generally twitter has a lot more users, so its a lot easier to find an audience IF, and only IF you already have a couple people to spread your posts around, bc twitter doesnt have the same kind of tagging system as tumblr does
ive definitely found more artists to follow through twitter but because of the super fast paced nature of the site (and also my short attention span) i dont really have time to get to know about peoples ocs at all
to answer your questions though:
1. posting on tumblr now gets me a LOT less interaction/notes than it used to. legit. i get maybe, 100-200 notes tops on normal posts when years ago i used to get twice or three times that. i get SOME more on generally popular ocs/designs bc people are like oohhh ahhh aesthetic but yeah. HOWEVER, it DOES occassionally get me curious people asking questions about my ocs which is ultimately what i really want.
posting on twitter gets me a lot more attention (i mean, fucking compare my latest art, 340 notes on tumblr versus 4k total on twitter) but all the interaction with that tweet is people going 'oohh ahh thats so cool!!' but on tumblr SOMETIMES MAYBE i get questions going like ‘so based on ur last art, does oc do X’ or i get anons saying funny shit and its rly nice, i dont rly get that on twitter a whole lot
2. dont fucking know how i drew in my crowd. i wish i did though so i could avoid it lmao. ii know back in 2015 i racked up a bunch of people/notoriety bc of httyd2 and i kinda rode that out into dragons and then creatures and then edgy stuff. i also am usually the one going out to people and going ‘wow ur ocs are sick bro can u tell me about them pwease’ especially on here bc again, its so much harder to do that on twitter
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- ive seen ppl on twitter make side accounts specifically for oc talking. i myself have a personal account where i just go off abt ocs on occassion, but its also my private account that maybe 4 friends have total, i dont allow random people in. i rly wish i could do that on here though o
- on twitter anything you post will be gone from peoples feeds in 24 hours roughly. thats just how it is. you dont see people retweeting things that are super old unless the artist themself rts it and gets it circling for a day or two more. and yet without doing jack shit i have posts of mine circulating here on tumblr for fucking years, inexplicably. people are still reblogging my httyd posts, and following me for some very specific fanart i made in 2017 and i am like.why are you here. how did you find this
- i HAVE seen my shit stolen/ripped off on tumblr a lot more than twitter though, but i think thats just because its easier for ppl on twitter to slip under the radar if they never interact with u. who knows though i havent exactly studied this
idk if any of this is helpful but its my personal experience. im just rly biased towards twitter i hate it. i wish i could leave but 99% of my client base is there so i cant -_-
#ask#advice#legally can i tag that? idk#long post#as an extra sidenote. ive personally stopped sharing so much of my oc stuff on both sites because of the theft#im just so tired lol#but i used to share so much on tumblr. just make big huge posts about my ocs with their info
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