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#i hate that film so goddamned much and it gives me flashbacks to
themadvigilantist · 2 years
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just a thought...
wait...
yall mean to tell me thor's crush on valkyrie because she was a valkyrie and valkyrie constantly going in your face - im not into you romantically thor, im into hulk and alcohol. we can be platonic friends and hey thanks for making me king of new asgard bestie - was supposed to translate as "omg THOR X VALKYRIE IS GONNA BE IN THE NEXT ONE AS A COUPLE" because i rewatched thor ragnarok by myself and i still didn't come to that conclusion.
and yall mad that it went to 'sassy black friend stereotype' again instead of interacial [specifically yt main x poc] dating because of ????
i mean, she wasn't sassy, she was thank fucking christ sober for the most part but other than that, i expected at least jane and valkyrie but then again disney and marvel changing it because they are known as both anti-lgbt and have a glaringly obvious past with their racism that still is bleeding through to this day - disney looked at thor: ragnarok and looked at taika and tessa and straight up just went
Disney: 'dont fucking bring jeff goldblum back we hated it. that lil plot b shift towards a comedic murder-y klutz loki to nearing-valkyrie vs hela centric? dont fucking do that either. keep loki dead, keep valkyrie to the sidebar as she should be. bring jane, reference cancer but dont bring back darcy because ppl really liked thor and darcy and her going mew mew, no. and we wont tell you how the vfx suffered for korg because of our shit working conditions to these artists so you can look like assholes for laughing because we hate communication that requires us to realize our own decisions in trying to rush art only harmed us because kids are disinterested in our stuff due to behind the scenes in our studios because kids and most of the adults arent falling in line for our distraction tactics no more due to our homophobia and microaggresive-macroaggresive racism-colorism.'
and knowing that disney owns fox and fx (where what we do in the shadows is shown) really solidifies that taika/writers accomodated to disneys crap demands in his thor films in order to keep one or two of his shows running on one of their networks.
like you can say this isnt true and lean heavily on blaming taika but, alex hirsch really exposed them for doing exactly this on his own show and trying to absolve a megalomanic company for having that much reach is such a massive blind oversight that makes matt murdock being able to see disney's bias in technicolor in comparison to that choice of blame the writers and only blame disney for the vfx opinion. when you should be blaming disney for all of it. all the things you hate about the treatment of loki (the show AND THE CHARACTER) - disney chose that. the whole treatment of black/poc characters treated a ["quirk"] best friend filler to a yt character(s) - disney chose that. that little MINISCULE lgbt rep in korg's parents, america chavez enamel pin and her parents, lefou dancing with the guy that enjoyed the dress the wardrobe gave him in beauty and the beast, loki's uh... 'coming out' and valkyrie's flashback that are all just... what 15 seconds in total? - disney chose that.
there was never 'oh xyz slipped that by them' disney saw it and shoved it to near obscurity that rivaled the power set of the silence from doctor who.
ESPECIALLY AFTER WHAT JUST HAPPENED WITH ROE V. WADE NO LESS???
in the words of schoymoho's stranger things remix of eddie munson played by joseph quinn:
chrissy wake up. i dont like this. time to wake up.
unrelated but related: i know why they trying this because tatiana maslany is a known advocate for lgbt, women, trans, and poc rights, a well-known protester against those that refuse to give those human rights - but also is known in orphan black AND HORROR FILMS - so seeing her standing outside their house like [a goddamn weeping angel or michael myers in the backyard equipped with a motion-sensored security light] welding some blunt instrument that you hope isnt a projectile weapon in rollerblades would terrify anyone. and if they fixed the vfx for she hulk, it would just confirm they are drop dead terrified she'd arrive in their home bulk as all hell and had to forced vfx artists to slim cgi she hulk down quickly and give her that jessica rabbit hair to calm their nerves.
tell me im wrong on that last one. pls.
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vvitchering · 2 years
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Tbobf finale thoughts real quick:
I have like 5 mins to write this before I have to get up for work so let’s go
I can’t figure out if I hated this or not
Like yeah they did end up with the same “oh they’re going to have to wrap this up REAL quick and dirty” pacing issue I’ve been worried about
But they didn’t even give us much good character stuff to smooth over the plot/pacing
Liked Din being loyal to Boba to the point where he’s willing to die but it would have been nice to have acknowledged WHY that is.
There were a lot of emotional gut punches in this episode that ended up being more emotional love taps due to lost or forgotten context and that’s….bizarre for a show as obsessed with flashbacks as this one is.
Like the only reason I even knew Cad Bane and Boba had previously established beef is because I glanced at a tumblr post about their unfinished duel from the clone wars show. That’s not the kind of fan knowledge you should be working off of…
Genuine question: how many of y’all even knew who Cad Bane was? If my brother hadn’t forced me to watch a few seasons of the clone wars I’d have had absolutely no goddamn clue who this joker was. (And I think a good percentage of Mando / TBOBF viewers may also be like me and aren’t big Star Wars buffs outside of these shows, so they’d have zero context for this interaction)
Lost opportunity to have the Tusken lady in black and the kid come back to help Boba. Yes I’m still upset about that, I was planning on dying mad about it.
Just…so very little of any of this finale made reasonable sense……..I’m gonna have to watch it again and do a play by play because it’s so jumbled in my head after one viewing
Luke really did put that infant in a ship and send him off to god knows where care of who the hell knows because he was angry he picked the beskar huh
Who’s the true baby here mr skywalker
This has been and will remain a “Luke Skywalker can fight me in the Denny’s parking lot and I’d win” house
Pacing aside since there’s not a lot to be done about that, this ep could have still been good if they’d given us even an ounce more context for some of these interactions.
It really feels like the writers were just stalling for time with this while finishing up Mando S3 which is a huge shame because this could have been GREAT as like an hour Boba Fett special or something. Trim the fat, do better with the Tusken story line, get rid of those GOD AWFUL mods, focus on what these events mean to BOBA (and Fennec), we could have had a real tight and punchy story.
Seriously fuck the mods everyone here hates the mods who’s idea we’re they
Blah blah other stuff happening I don’t even care about this nonsense at this point beyond watching my favorite little imaginary people run around on screen
Grogu should have taken the lightsaber too. Just for extra “piss off Luke” points.
I know Din didn’t take his helmet off this entire time because Pedro couldn’t actually be there to film, but I would have liked a nice helmet-less reunion scene with Grogu. Or a face reveal with Boba. I just miss Pedro’s handsome face ):
Boba did look really good this ep though 👌 and we’re almost back to his Mandalorian s2 levels of badassery in combat which was nice to see.
Bobadin shippers we won today
IM SO FUCKING GLAD COBB ISNT DEAD HOLY SHIT this was really the only thing I ever cared a little bit about djskdjsjjd
How’d he get there though
Did the townspeople bring him in? And for what? Did they know Boba had a bacta tank????
Or did Boba and co swing by and pick him up after the fight and bring him back? How’d he survive that long if it was an injury bad enough to take him out/keep him out/require the use of a bacta tank????
Oh god please don’t give him a whole ass robot arm like the fuckin mods I’ll scream. Give him a nice discreet job like Fennec’s. Please don’t make my boy cringe.
Anyway see y’all at Christmas time for Mando s3 💀
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canary3d-obsessed · 4 years
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Restless Rewatch: The Untamed - Episode 02
Warning: Spoilers for all 50 episodes!
(Masterpost ) (Previous Episode) (Next Episode)
Donkey Riding
way ho and away we go, donkey riding donkey riding way ho and away we go, riding on a donkey
Wei Wuxian and Apple are doing their best for the Ministry of Culture and Tourism. 
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Xiao Zhan had trouble riding the donkey sitting side-saddle, so the Department of Questionable Practical Effects made him a fake leg to wear while riding regular style. 
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Can you spot it? It’s very hard to spot. It is very convincing.
Simple Pleasures
Wei Wuxian takes his time wandering up the nearest mountain, and half of the cultivators in the land also wander up this mountain because...Night Hunting! The cultivators are hot and thirsty from walking because they forgot that they all know how to fly. 
Wei Wuxian relaxes by a well and listens to people stanning him. 
Also
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I’m going to say it: Wei Wuxian never met a drinking vessel he couldn’t blow.
Everything is Beautiful at the Ballet
The actress who plays A-Yan is named Zhang Linran. She probably has studied dance since she was 4 and now she gets her big break which turns out to be feeding an apple to a donkey. So let’s pause for a second to look at how beautifully she moves.  
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Reunions are Awkward, Part 1
Wei Wuxian meets up with one of his family members and it goes super well. 
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I...like Jin Ling? He’s much less of a douchebag than his dad, his uncles Jin, Jiang, and Mo (the three stooges), and every damn one of his Jin cousins. He’s genuinely brave (his Dad’s primary good quality) and his hair is on fleek. He’s still a whiny diaper baby, but I like him. 
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(much more after the cut!)
Then Jiang Cheng shows up, looking fine as hell and radiating peak arrogant-prick energy.
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When he discovers that ‘Mo Xuanyu” stuck a piece of paper to Jin Ling, he tells the child to literally murder him. Excellent uncleing! A+++++ would recommend.  
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“In fact, literally murder anyone who uses Yiling Laozu’s tools, like talismans, lure flags, or spirit compasses - basically murder everyone in the Lan Clan plus those other fanboys we saw coming up the hill. Then get out there and make some friends, goddamn it!”
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These nets full of cultivators on this daytime night hunt are the only time we ever see anything in a net during a night hunt.  In fact dudes constantly go night hunting and the only prey we ever see is rock lady, murder turtle, and a couple of rag mops in the lake. 
You Are Not Qualified to Speak to Me
Also radiating arrogant-prick energy on this occasion is Lan Wangji. He has been using pettiness as a weapon since long before he met this Jiang Cheng turkey, and he *brings it* when Jiang Cheng tries to have a conversation with him.
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Letting your eyes wander everywhere except to his punchable face while you ignore his passive-aggressive questions? Quality work. 
Dropping a silence spell on his child and then letting your own child explain it to him? Golden. 
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Lan Wangji is never ever going to forgive Jiang Cheng for what he did on cliff day, and his silence here is as pointed as an ice pick. I suspect the last words Lan Wangji actually spoke to him were “Jiang Wanyin, stop it,” sixteen years ago. 
Jiang Cheng is actually the bigger person in this particular interaction, visibly mastering his temper and telling Jin Ling to take his medicine. 
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Reflecting
Wei Wuxian hangs out by a beautiful river and hallucinates for a while. River Jiang Yanli is nurturing and River Jiang Cheng is pissed off, so there are no surprises there.  River Jiang Cheng thinks that Wei Wuxian is a promise-breaking douchebag. He’s not exactly wrong. 
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Courtesy of convenient gossiping cultivators, Wei Wuxian discovers that the 16 year old arrogant kid from the Jin clan who his brother from the Jiang clan has custody of is actually and quite obviously Jin Rulan.
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Well fuck I guess now I care about something, that’s inconvenient. 
Needing to help parent the child of the sister who parented him is what draws Wei Wuxian fully into his new life. 
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As soon as he has this realization, Apple comes back from roaming around, and never gives him any trouble after this for the rest of the story. Which...probably doesn’t mean anything. 
Wen Gravesite
Does Wen Ning hang out here because it’s where he and his (dead) people came from? Oh great, now I am sad. 
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Judging by all the leaves on this grave thingy I’m going to say that this grave tender dude is, ah, not very good at his job. 
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Get him, Jingyi!
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I feel like maybe we all focus too much on how Lan Jingyi is so hilarious and sardonic and not enough on how he is a such a biscuit. 
Soul Grass
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As mentioned in the previous post, Chinese spiritual concepts don’t always translate well into English. Soul grass? Sure, why not. 
This is where Wei Wuxian’s Sherlock Holmes brain starts to work, although he still doesn’t remember really basic stuff about Dafan Mountain. Dying and changing bodies is rough on the old neurochemistry. This creates more opportunities for flashbacks, however, and if there’s one thing The Untamed deffo needs more of, it’s kissing flashbacks.
Temple Statue
Presumably grave-tender dude is also in charge of clearing away spiderwebs at the temple, because it’s not getting done. 
Jin Ling walks into the temple blaspheming at full volume. 
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Since this isn’t a Greek story, he isn’t immediately struck blind for this. Then when he wishes for the statue to come alive, it obligingly does.  Everything’s coming up Rulan!
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Wei Wuxian shows up to rescue all the kids by throwing talismans at the monster which does not tip anyone off to who he is. 
Baby Cultivator Babysitting
Lan Wangji chills out in the cultivators’ pavilion with Jiang Cheng and their mutual hate boners.
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Meanwhile, Wei Wuxian forgets all about his nephew and turns into cool professor guy, explaining the basics of soul-eating to the baby cultivators and gleefully encouraging their fear of Hanguang-Jun’s punishments. 
Because the Lan babies are good filial children they are super respectful and engaged with this random adult who is lecturing them. They also - like their own Hanguang-Jun at their age - see and admire Wei Wuxian’s intellect. It’s easy to forget how extremely smart Wei Wuxian is, because of how extremely dumb Wei Wuxian is.
Lan Jingyi suddenly figures out Wei Wuxian is not crazy. 
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Bis. Kit. 
Then Rock Lady shows up and Jin Ling sticks 6 arrows into her while Lans Jingyi and Sizhui stand around not bothering to draw their swords.
I see a lot of comments about the bad effects in the statue sequences but I think Rock Lady is all right. The figure animation is decent and the lighting is no worse on her than on everything else in the scene. Her hair is nice, for a rock person.
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Admittedly I just finished watching Guardian which has CGI monsters so bad they may have injured my retinas and possibly also my DNA, so the bar, for me, is pretty low. Rock lady clears it with room to spare.   
Note: Wei Wuxian’s flute playing does zippity towards controlling the statue. Not sure what his plan was here.
Wen Ning Kicks Ass
Now we get to meet Wen Ning, who appears to be a stone-cold badass. Later we will discover how hilariously inaccurate that assessment is. 
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While all versions of Wen Ning are delightful, this version of Wen Ning is also...strangely attractive? He’s got a Patti-Smith-Horses-Era vibe here, instead of his more usual lost-baby-dork vibe. And his dreamy “I have nails in my head” expression is intriguing. 
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I mean, he’s not a total snack like zombie Song Lan or pre-zombie Song Lan or blind Song Lan or post-zombie Song Lan, but this look is a good one for Wen Ning, is what I’m saying.
Reunions are Awkward, Part 2
Lan Wangji, who has 99% already recognized Wei Wuxian because of the haunted sword and the fierce jawline and beautiful neck and tiny tiny waist, is summoned by his flute playing as inexorably as the Ghost General was. 
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Jiang Cheng also recognizes Wei Wuxian and goes into full beatdown mode, thwarted (silently) by Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian attempts to preserve his incognito by sassing Jiang Cheng in as sibling-like a manner as possible. 
Hanguang-Jun’s Pro-Ghost Agenda Has Been Clear for Some Time
This Jiang/Lan fight is hilarious when you consider the implications.
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Macroexpression vs. Microexpression
Mo Xuanyu brought Wei Wuxian back using sacrifice summons, a dark ritual invented by Wei Wuxian that he, most likely, did NOT show to Lan Wangji back in the day. So it’s a pretty safe bet that Lan Wangji doesn’t know that Wei Wuxian was gifted a body, rather than stealing one.
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when your brother turns around, you must whip him you will never live it down unless you whip him
When Jiang Cheng lets loose with Zidian, it’s not just because he’s angry. He’s using purple power to force Wei Wuxian’s ghost out of the body he’s apparently possessed. And Lan Wangji instantly STOPS him from doing that.
Clan Leader Jiang: this person has been possessed, against their will, by an evil ghost
Future Chief Cultivator Lan: Counterpoint: I am banging the ghost
Flashback Time
Welcome to your 30-episode flashback!
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Once I used to join in Every boy and girl was my friend Now there's revolution, but they don't know What they're fighting
Let us close our eyes Outside their lives go on much faster Oh, we won't give in We'll keep living in the past
Road Tripping to Summer School
Gosh I’m looking forward to younger, kinder, more relatable Jiang Cheng.
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...prick. 
Incidentally, until now this episode didn’t know that Jiang Cheng has smile muscles, and neither did the person who glued his wig on for him.
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I Like Rabbits
Here we have our first rabbit in a large collection of rabbit iconography that appears in The Untamed. 
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Instead of sending everyone to the Wikipedia page for Tu'er Shen I’m going to take this opportunity to rec the short film Kiss of the Rabbit God by Andrew Thomas Huang (tw: blood, tw:body-mod cutting) which you can read about and watch over at  Nowness.com 
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Particularly if you are a queer person of Chinese heritage, check it out. 
So. What the fuck are these? Are they food? 
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Are they made from wax? Or corn starch? or pig intestines? 
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Wei Wuxian runs off to get laid drunk and Jiang Cheng grumps about it. Jiang Yanli reminds him that being free is a Jiang Clan Rule, so really Wei Wuxian is following the rules by not following the rules. Does that mean he’s not free? My head hurts. 
Jiang Cheng: yes but grump grump grump
Jiang Yanli: Nothing bad will ever happen because of A-Xian’s choices, trust me
Outro
Wei Wuxian faint tally: one  Caught by: the cold hard ground
Soundtrack: 1. Donkey Riding by Great Big Sea 2. Living in the Past by Jethro Tull 3. Whip It by Devo
Fic prompt:  Lan Wangji’s internal monologue while he sits in the pavilion with Jiang Cheng 
If you write a fic from this prompt and want to share, please post a link in comments!
Bonus: Wang Zuocheng, macro-expression king
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Episode 03 Restless Rewatch coming soon!
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sweetsubharry · 3 years
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hi! can you give me your hottest, dirtiest, filthiest bottom harry fics?
Hiya!! Yes I can! ^-^
Now there are 41 different fics under this list, so it’s quite long! Obviously what people find dirty/filthy can be a large range, so if you ever want to narrow it down just send another message like ‘no plot’ for example :) and then I can make it more suited to your taste if this one isn’t! I hope you enjoy this though love ❤
In case no one gets to the bottom of the page I’ll say it again here too! Please make sure to stay safe and read the tags!! ❤ ❤
you're my favorite ride by louislovesharry
no summary 
At Least As Deep As the Pacific Ocean (I wanna be yours) by babylouis
Louis can’t help but stop and watch him for a moment, how beautiful he looks, sprawled out on the bed, his cock red and hard against his tummy, collar snug against his neck and the bow still placed neatly in his curls to keep them back from Harry’s face.
His boy may be the most beautiful creature on the planet.
Especially tied up like this, body begging to be fucked. Begging to be destoryed.
or
Louis likes to push boundaries, and Harry takes what he gets. Lots of subspace Harry and fonding Louis ensues.
redder than the devil by mercutionotromeo
It's half past 9, and all Harry wants is for Louis to touch him. Preferably after a good spanking.
If you combine a lazy Saturday afternoon with a distracting, pouty Harry, you'll end up with Louis spanking his baby over his knee in the middle of a paused FIFA match.
Pretty please, take care of me ? by kurtcobain
Louis is stressed. Harry wants to help.
Step into the Light by Smolbeanandhisqween
Harry is on the set of his new music video "Lights Up". His husband, Louis, is watching him film the video. He gets jealous of all of the people touching Harry and teaches him a lesson.
Destroy Me, King by stylinsexualxo
After SNL, jealous Louis has a little surprise for Harry when he arrives home.
Can We Pretend (honestly reality bores me) by SadaVeniren
He felt Louis chuckle. “Dreaming of being my supportive, no-name boyfriend again?”
“Always,” Harry whispered. It was true. After all this time together there was no point in hiding any of his fantasies from Louis, no matter how innocent they were. So Louis was well aware of Harry’s desire to be anonymous sometimes - the “no-name” as Louis called him - loyal, a constant presence at Louis’ side.
aka Harry comes and supports Louis at his Scala concert
Let Me Be Good For You by onlyhuman for haroldtbh
His distress over the bun is nothing compared to the thrill Louis feels shoot up his spine at the outfit Harry’s donned. He’s changed into leather jeans that cling to his legs, hugging his thighs snugly. On top of it, a floaty, black sheer shirt is contouring his frame, doing absolutely nothing to hide his puffy nipples or the endless array of tattoos scattered across his torso. It’s Louis’ favourite outfit in the entire world.
Or, Niall's only birthday wish is to go clubbing with his boys in Vegas. Harry ruins it all by wearing that god forsaken black sheer shirt.
You Like Playing Games by orphan_account
Louis knows Harry likes to flirt and tease. Louis knows that he doesn’t particularly like when Harry flirts and teases. Louis knows that Harry knows that Louis doesn’t particularly like it.
But what Louis doesn’t quite know is why, despite that, Harry’s decided to grind against 5 Seconds of Summer’s Luke Hemmings during “Teenage Dirtbag” in the last show in Melbourne.
Basically pure smut.
Do Not Disturb (kiss me beneath the milky twilight) by SadaVeniren
“I was talking with Nick a couple months back and he was saying how our sex life seemed boring and we’d need to keep doing new and interesting things to keep it exciting or else we’d become boring and heterosexual and I defended us of course but then work picked up and we started living off of studio handjobs and missionary position sex in the dark and so I panicked. I googled BDSM and after looking into it I really want to try some of it because I think we’d enjoy it but we just don’t have the time.”
aka Harry doesn't want to become a boring old married couple a year into their relationship and tries to spice up their sex life.
Forgetting Frisco by iwillpaintasongforlou
Harry probably knew when he decided to wear that goddamn sheer shirt onstage in Toronto that it was going to drive Louis absolutely insane with want. He probably didn't know that Louis was going to proceed to fuck him so good he had flashbacks for years to come just like Frisco, but then again, you won't hear him complaining.
(Basically 6k of Louis worshipping Harry's body and doing it all in front of a mirror so Harry can worship, too.)
Mon Petit by coffinofachimera
Harry wears the 'Mon Petit' sweater while Louis records them on their private 
falling for you, i can't keep away by hegotthedagger plane
Harry wants Louis really bad and Louis might want him just as much.
Always In My Heart by sweaterpawstyles
The tweet itself was not startling at all. Harry saw people retweet it nearly every day for years now. It always made him smile to see how many people had retweeting Louis showing his love for Harry on that day.
What was startling was underneath where the fan had retweeted it, Harry saw the small number 1M written on it.
Harry froze, completely unable to move anything in his body. He knew Louis had the second most retweeted tweet of all time, but it reached a million retweets. One million people believed in Louis' love for Harry. Or AIMH hits 1 million & facetime sex ensues
You and Me by louisgrindsonharry
Harry and Louis have dabbled in the idea of BDSM but Harry finally wants to take it farther and Louis has to figure out how to take care of his boy.
they shake, you conquer (and I'm left to their devices) by butidontreallycare
smut. a little love for Harry's thighs, but mostly just smut. I am not ashamed
Daddy Came Home by RuinedBy5Guys
“You got yourself off.” He says quietly, his eyes locked on Harry’s. Harry’s face flushes and he tries to cover it, shoving himself towards Louis. He drops to his knees, leaning close between his husbands spread thighs. He puts his hands on his dress pants, carefully feeling the material at his knees.
“How did you know?” He asks quietly. Louis drops his face, grabbing over Harry’s hands with his own. Harry lowers his gaze, staring at the carpet underneath him.
“You were asleep. You always get tired after an orgasm. Not to mention how flushed you are.” He says quietly, raking his eyes over Harry’s body. Harry glances up at him, his actions becoming more clear to him now that Louis was home.
“I’m sorry.” He whispers, dropping his eyes again.
“What was that?” Louis snaps, reaching to bring Harry’s face up again. Harry gulps, shuffling closer on his knees, the joints aching already.
“I’m sorry, Daddy.” Harry says, his green eyes locked on Louis’ blue ones. Louis smiles slightly, stroking his fingers over his husbands cheeks softly.
“Just gonna have to spank you now, aren’t I?”
OR... Harry teases and Daddy punishes him in the best ways possible
take me into your loving arms by blankiehxrry
twas the night of the brit awards
I Wanna Do What Bunnies Do With You by MoreThanTonight
“Lou.. Not here?” Harry pulled off with a gasp. “There are people in the next room. What if they hear us?“
“Then I guess you’ll just have to be quiet, won’t you, love?” Louis winked.
It's Harry's birthday and Louis wants to make it a birthday he won't forget. Louis is an art student, Harry is his boyfriend and muse.
if they find out, will it all go wrong? by blankiehxrry
madison square garden shenanigans
Happy Birthday by sleepingalone
“You wanna use that right now?” he asked incredulously, wondering how horny Louis must be. They had just fucked a few hours ago, before falling asleep. Surely he didn’t want to use it already.
“You said we had to wait till my birthday, and it’s my birthday,” Louis said cheekily, throwing Harry a small grin. Harry groaned into the pillow, burying his head in it.
“But I’m tired, Lou. I need my beauty rest.”
“I already undid the packaging,” Louis whined. “Please, can we just do it real quick? It would really make my day. My birthday,” he added. “You can go to sleep afterwards, Sleeping Beauty.”
or
Louis just really wants to use his new vibrating butt plug on Harry and turn him into a broken mess.
I Knew Right From the Beginning That You Would End Up Winning by aalexandravictoriaa
"I remember the first day I met you," Louis says, using his thumbs to make Harry open up to him even more. "I remember wanting to take you right there on the fucking street. I wanted to bend you over and bury myself in you over and over again. I couldn't then, but I'm going to now, baby. First with my tongue, then with my cock."
OR
Harry is Louis' favorite camboy and Louis becomes his Daddy.
In Motion by FictitiousFanatisch (orphan_account)
They'd only talked about it once a few weeks ago. Harry always liked it when Louis was in control and he said there was something about being denied constantly that made him even more turned on.
or
It's a lazy day and Harry wants Louis to edge him. (That's literally it.)
I'm Gonna Love You (Until You Hate me) by sweaterpawstyles
As if reading his mind, Louis glanced over his glasses at Harry, presumably because Harry didn't reply to his statement earlier.
"I decided to get my glasses out again," he chuckled, winking at Harry. "Do you like them?"
Harry felt his face heat up. No, he didn't just like them. He fucking loved them and wanted to ride Louis and call him daddy while he wore them. But he didn't want to just tell Louis this.
Or
Louis wears glasses and Harry doesn't like to be teased
I have often prayed for an angel by orphan_account
“Daddy,” he whines, voice already growing high in pitch. “Can I? Please?” “Of course angel,” Louis whispers fondly, hand tangling in Harry’s hair as he brushes it back. He loves Harry’s long strands, maybe even more than Harry does himself. “You look so beautiful on your knees like that, so eager to suck my cock.” “Mhm,” Harry hums, already licking at Louis’ slit. He begins to suckle softly at the head, peering up at Louis with wide eyes. The angel wings stretch on either side of him, and it’s so obscene, how filthy the act they’re doing is in contrast to the white feathers adorning Harry’s back. “Love your cock Daddy.” Or, the one in which Louis fucks Harry in the VS wings after he wears them onstage.
down and dirty, you're loving me so loud by orphan_account
Harry's finally twenty and there's a few things he wants.
feels so good getting what i want. by stylescantstop
Harry is a slutty yoga teacher with his sights set on Louis and Louis wants to pull that long hair of his while he fucks him really hard from behind.
Empyrean, You Fool by becauseitrhymes
Louis only realized it was actually happening once the reality of getting to carry boxes to his new flat settled in. He’d moved out of his parent’s just two days prior, with a stomach full of butterflies and no knowledge of how to do anything remotely adult, like, at all.
He’s only twenty-three years old, too, and he thinks he’s done pretty well for such a young age, considering he’s bought a flat with his money and had driven his car to get there and hadn’t cried (much) when leaving his parents. All in all, Louis thinks it’s pretty cool.
And then he’s sitting on his couch watching football in his lounge in his flat and hell yeah, it’s pretty cool.
AU where Louis moves next door to Harry, Louis falls in love with Harry, sex ensues.
Love Me Like You Do by sweaterpawstyles
Of all of the things Louis had imagined, never did he expect to become a chief editor for a magazine and to date the world-famous model Harry Styles. But he certainly never imagined one day that he would be anxiously awaiting a phone call from the top floor of an office building to tell the Harry Styles to get himself dolled up and ready to wait for his Daddy to come home before he got fucked into the mattress.
Or
Harry is a famous model and Louis is a quiet writer who may or may not be his Dom
A Hard Day's Work by louisruinedlife (orphan_account)
A bad day at work for Harry usually means turning in early. A bad day at work for Louis leads to something else entirely.
*Can be read as a stand alone.
the big idea by orphan_account
University students Harry and Zayn are filming a prank for YouTube that requires Harry to walk around campus asking random men if he could suck their dick. One of the guys, Louis, who agrees to such offer is too attractive for Harry to pass down.
He doesn't think its much of a prank anymore after that.
throw me in the deep end, watch me drown by orphan_account
“That's why you were late, eh?” he teases as Harry frantically tries to hide the dildos and the collar in the drawer. “Having too much fun to think about good ole Louis?”
“You were having fun too,” Harry replies weakly. Louis honestly has never seen a person be in such a shade of red.
“Yeah, but my fun didn't involve colourful dildos and nipple clamps.”
or the one where louis really needs to pass his a-levels and harry is his tutor who doesn’t really own a dog.
Give It To Me (I'm Worth It) by sweaterpawstyles
"Who the hell puts lube packets in their sock?"
"A boy who wanted to get fucked in the locker room by his daddy," Harry said innocently. "I have my good intentions, Lou."
or
Louis can't resist Harry in the red shorts that he wore during the James Corden skit. Featuring locker room sex.
don't let nobody touch it (unless that somebody's me) by stylescantstop
written for this prompt:
"louis knows Harry gets handsy when he's drunk, but that doesn't stop him from showing harry who he belongs to."
or the one where harry dances with other men and a jealous louis reminds him he's the only one who can make him come completely apart.
causing trouble up in hotel rooms (baby, I'm perfect) by felixandtae
A fan threw a Green Bay Packers crop top on stage and Harry kept it. We all know what happened after that.
sweet like cinnamon by brainwaves for SuburbanWarrior
It all started with bumping into Louis at Gemma’s mate’s wedding. Well, maybe it really started with Harry making heart eyes at the boy in jersey number 17 all those years ago. Now all he can think about is getting into Louis’ pants and maybe staying there for a really, really long time.
Or the one where Harry calls Louis daddy and it all spirals out of control from there.
Fulfilling Your Needs by unmeshed
“You want to be messy, baby? Filled with Daddy’s come? So much that you can barely hold it all in?"
Harry nods softly and Louis leans in to kiss him on the lips with a smile. “Want Daddy to plug you up after? Keep it inside of you all day?"
“Lou,” Harry whines, softly rubbing himself against his boyfriend, biting down on Louis’ bottom lip before he deepens the kiss, sneaking his tongue inside.
Louis’ll be damned if he can’t make Harry’s dreams come true.
or
Louis buys Harry an ejaculating dildo because Harry wants to feel full.
Like a Kitten by peaceloveandlarry
"Erm, I, uh, well, I think... I think you're really pretty, and I, um, I want to fuck you- I mean! Oh god. I- I want to go out? Yea! I want to go out."
Or Harry likes to wear kitten ears, and Louis happens to think Harry looks nice with them.
into another serotonin overflow by mercutionotromeo
Harry's the yearbook photographer who's been assigned to take pictures of Louis, the new captain of the football team. Harry's got a massive, obvious crush on Louis and somehow, Louis feels the same way.
Sweet first time sex wherein Harry's adorably awkward, Louis is achingly cool, and Harry rides Louis wearing his jersey.
need a little sweetness in my life by mercutionotromeo
Harry's always liked feeling desperate and small when Louis touches him, but when he sucks Harry off...it’s fucking otherworldly. Desperate’s not really the word at that point - it’s helpless. Like… like the fucking world could stop spinning and Harry wouldn’t be able to do anything about it until Louis finished him off with his lips and his tongue.
Or, Harry and Louis go to university together. Harry really likes it when Louis sucks him off, and Louis really likes it when Harry calls him Daddy.
(Sequel to "into another serotonin overflow")
Cheeky Princess by Noelle1224
Harry and panties. What more is there to explain?
I'm Tired Of Using Technology, I Need You Right In Front Of Me by Phillipa19
Louis goes away on yet another business trip, but when he stops calling Harry to check in, Harry decides to take matters into his own hands.
OR- Louis is Harry's sugardaddy who has gone away on business and Harry feels neglected. Louis is possessive and gets a camera installed in their bedroom so he can check up on Harry, so Harry decides to use the camera to his advantage.
Got A Lot You Wanna Show Off Baby by Phillipa19
Louis had been in meetings all day, he should have known that Harry wouldn't be ignored for much longer.
-OR-
Louis is Harry's sugardaddy and his younger boyfriend is definitely not happy being ignored whilst Louis holds meetings in his home office. There may also be Harry in lacy knickers involved.
As always please make sure to stay safe and read the tags!! ❤ ❤
367 notes · View notes
bellafarella · 3 years
Text
What’s mine is yours
Summary: Mickey wears one of Ian's shirts and they end up having the best day together
Notes: Hey yall! So we all saw that photo Jim (Kermit) posted that had Mickey - because that was definitely a Mickey outfit - in what is 100% one of Ian's shirts on under a cut-off flannel top (they were filming for 11x10 it seems) and my brain came up with this.
Thank you, @mariss-ugh, for helping me come up with some ideas/lines for this when we were both supposed to be working this afternoon lmaooo
I hope yall enjoy this! 💖
Read here
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Getting ready together in this room takes a lot of maneuvering. Good thing living together in this room for the better part of a year - even in a small prison cell together - has made Mickey and Ian become in sync with each other. They’re able to move around each other without accidentally smacking the other anymore.
They aren’t working today so they don’t have much planned but Ian insists they do something. Mickey just thinks Ian hates sitting around the house because any time Mickey suggests they just do nothing he vetoes it. Must be all those weeks of Mickey not working giving Ian horrible flashbacks. They’re getting ready together - Mickey finishes buttoning his dark slim fit jeans before rummaging through their shared dresser for a shirt. Their clothes are all mixed together, not seeing any point in splitting it up, it’s pretty obvious whose clothes are who’s considering their height difference. Mickey finds a long sleeved beige - white - he’s not sure what fuckin’ color it is - top with a few buttons at the chest, he doesn’t care what top it is, he just cares that it’s clean so he puts it on. He isn’t feeling just this so he grabs one of his cut-off flannel shirts - it’s grey and white - and puts that on over the shirt. It ends up matching and he looks himself over in the mirror, thinking to himself that he looks fuckin’ good.
He turns around and sees Ian watching him. He’s got on some dark jeans too and a black crewneck sweater. He smirks at him, damn his husband is fine. Mickey is about to walk over to him and show him how hot he thinks he is when Ian says, “That’s my shirt,” eyebrows furrowed together.
“Don’t think so, this is obviously mine,” Mickey says, eyebrows raised as he picks at his flannel top.
Ian rolls his eyes. “Not that one, dumbass, the one under it. It’s obviously mine, look at how big the sleeves are on you,” he points to his arm where the sleeves are rolling down his wrists and covering his hands.
Mickey waves him off. “So what? What’s mine is yours and yours is mine, bitch,” he says pointing to his ring sitting on his finger, constantly loving the feel of it, like it’s grounding him in place. “Pretty sure it’s in the vows or some shit.”
Ian rolls his eyes again, exacerbated by his husband. “Don’t think that includes clothes, Mick,” he tells him.
“What the fuck ever, man, I look good,” he tells him.
“I mean…” Ian trails off, stepping closer and into his space. “You’re not wrong,” he adds when he’s towering over him. Mickey has to strain his neck back to look up at him. Ian’s hand comes up to cradle the back of his head before leaning forward and kissing him hard on the lips. Mickey moans into the kiss, his hands moving to hold onto his sides, sliding to his back and down to grope his ass in those jeans.
Ian moans, pressing himself completely against Mickey, opening his mouth to him to have their tongues move softly against each other in a passionate and heated kiss. He can feel Mickey’s hardness through his jeans on his leg and he’s sure his husband feels his too.
They pull apart briefly to breathe and Ian feels the need to keep teasing, “I’m just saying… I don’t wear your clothes.”
Mickey rolls his eyes at him. “No shit, Jolly Green Giant,” he says. “You and those daddy long legs won’t fit in my clothes.”
Ian grins, wanting to laugh but stuck on hearing that word. “Mmm, call me ‘daddy’ again,” he purrs.
Mickey laughs, “Fuck off, we’re not still doing that shit.” Ian hovers his lips by Mickey’s, his hot breath on him, teasing him. Ian bites his own bottom lip, his eyes flicking up from Mickey’s lips to lock with his eyes. Mickey sees how dark Ian’s eyes are and he’s so fucking hard, his dick is straining against the zipper of his jeans. “A-are we?” he stutters out. Ian smirks at him before laughing. Smug bastard. Mickey pushes him lightly. “You’re a dick,” he says before laughing.
“You’re just so easy,” Ian teases him, coming back into his space and grabbing onto his hips.
“Yeah, like you’re not?” Mickey challenges.
Ian smiles at him sweetly and says, “I’m definitely easy for you, baby.”
“I hate you,” Mickey laughs.
Ian laughs too and they meet for a kiss but it’s all teeth since they can’t stop smiling into it. Ian pulls back, still smiling as he looks at Mickey. He nods his head back towards the door and says, “Common.”
Mickey sighs making Ian grin as he takes his hand and leads them out of the room and down the stairs. Everyone’s already gone for the day, doing their own thing, so they get downstairs to an empty house. “You sure you wanna leave when we have the house to ourselves for the first time since our fuckin’ wedding?” Mickey asks. The pandemic hit soon after they got married and for months it was everyone home, all the time. Especially with Debbie in jail for a bit and Liam and Franny not in school.
Ian gives him a look. “Like everyone being home has stopped us before?”
He’s got him there. “True, but…”
“Mickey,” Ian says in this voice that just gets Mickey to want to give him the entire goddamn world.
He relents, following Ian through the house and out the front door, but not before grabbing their masks that Mickey just puts in his front jean pocket, Ian putting his on but immediately pulling it down so it just acts like a chin guard - ready at a moment's notice.
Still feeling giddy from before, Ian reaches for his hand and interlaces their fingers. Mickey smiles down at their hands, love seeing how Ian’s long fingers wrap around his, before looking up at Ian and rolling his eyes, making Ian grin and squeeze his hand.
Being married has not been easy. Especially being newly married and thrust into quarantine for months. They survived it like they’ve survived much worse and yeah, they bicker. That’s all they fuckin’ do some days but Mickey’s never been happier in his life. He knows Ian feels the same. So on days like today, when there hasn’t been any bickering yet and Ian is smiling at him the way he is, Mickey can’t help but let Ian hold his hand as they walk down the street. If someone wants to say something to them, he’ll make them regret it - by beating the absolute fuck out of them.
“What are you thinking about?” Ian asks him, watching him.
“About where the fuck you could be taking me.”
“I don’t know honestly,” Ian tells him. “There’s not much we can do in a pandemic.”
“So then why the fuck did we leave the house?!”
“We spend every day off at home, I wanted to do something fun with you, fuck you very much,” Ian says, rolling his eyes.
Mickey notices they’re still holding hands and Ian seems to at the same time and they both just smile at each other. Mickey feels ridiculous but he loves this big, dumb, idiot.
“Oh! We could grab a six pack and head to the dugout or the bleachers,” Ian suggests.
Mickey rolls his eyes but he lets out a small chuckle. That’s always their go to. Has been the entire pandemic especially. He can’t think of anything better so he says, “Fine, why the fuck not?”
Ian grins and tugs on his hand, leading them to the nearest shop that’s open.
*
They managed to get through the six pack together sitting in the grass under the bleachers - they decided on that because it was closer and that day Mickey saw Ian again for the first time flashed before his eyes. Like the bleachers? It’s our spot, man. It was an obvious choice for them to go there.
Ian had two beers and Mickey four - Ian’s meds, while they are balanced, still make his tolerance pretty fuckin’ low most of the time. Ian’s been working out and got bigger throughout quarantine - not that Mickey’s complaining, quite the opposite actually, he fuckin’ loves it. He throws Mickey around so easily, it gets him hard just thinking about it. With him being a bit bigger and his meds fucking with his tolerance, Ian’s just at the cusp of drunk, whereas Mickey is just pretty tipsy with his four beers.
Ian’s chatty when he drinks - he’s chatty always but he rambles when he’s drunk and Mickey has no idea what he’s talking about anymore so he leans forward, kissing him on the lips.
Ian kisses him back, his hands coming up to hold his face in place, slipping his tongue into his mouth. Mickey didn’t expect Ian to kiss back so intensely but he’s not complaining. He scoots closer, grabbing onto his arms.
Ian bites Mickey’s lower lip, pulling back slightly to look him in the eyes. “What was that for?”
“Think you’re the one that intensified it. I was just trying to get you to shut the fuck up,” Mickey teases.
Ian laughs making Mickey chuckle seeing his face light up and hearing that perfect sound - his laughter. “You’re such a dick,” he says when he stops laughing, still smiling.
“Still married me,” Mickey says, eyebrow raised.
“I’d do it all over again if I could,” Ian says softly before kissing him just as softly on the lips once. “And again,” he says before repeating the same soft kiss.
Mickey smiles into it. “Cheesy motherfucker,” he says before Ian kisses him softly and mutters, “And again.”
Mickey laughs, shoving at him lightly. Ian takes that as a challenge, wrestling him to the ground making them both laugh as Ian pins him under him. Ian grinds his pelvis against him and Mickey raises his eyebrows, “Mm, gonna fuck me right here, Milkovich?”
Ian grins at the sound of him calling him by Mickey’s last name. “Maybe,” Ian says, eyeing him. He presses his groin into him again, thrusting lightly against him, making Mickey moan softly, biting his bottom lip. “Looks like you want it, Gallagher,” he teases.
Mickey smirks, eyebrows wiggling.
“Hey, you can’t fuck under there!” someone calls out causing them to both look up at a bike cop watching them. They look at each other, rolling their eyes.
Ian gets off of Mickey and they both sit up. The cop is about to leave when Mickey calls out, “Fucked plenty of times under here before.”
Ian smacks his arm before the cop says, “Okay, out of there. Now.”
“Idiot,” Ian says to him.
The cop starts to approach when they don’t move so they get up and head out from the bleachers about to pass the cop. “Easy shaft, we’re leaving,” he tells him, eyeing him.
Ian grabs his shoulders from behind and leads him off. “We’re going,” Ian tells him. “My brother’s a cop by the way.”
“I don’t give a shit, go,” the cop tells them.
Mickey tries to turn but Ian stops him, leading them out. “Parole, Mickey,” Ian whispers to him as he leads him towards the street.
“The fuck are we gonna do now? I lost my buzz,” Mickey complains when they get on the sidewalk.
“Common,” Ian says, taking his hand again and leading the way.
“The Alibi, we’re here all the time,” Mickey complains when they get there.
“We’re never only here to drink though,” Ian tells him.
Mickey arches his brow, “What fuckin’ difference does that make?” but Ian’s already walking in so he follows him.
They take a seat at the bar, next to each other and Kev says, “Hey, what are you two doing here?”
“Drinking, this is a bar, dumbass,” Mickey shakes his head.
“Two beers, Kev,” Ian tells him, taking Kev’s eyes away from Mickey and to him. “Thanks.” Kev nods at him before turning to grab some glasses. “Oh and two shots of Jameson!” Ian adds while his back is turned.
“Oh so we’re drinking drinking? Okay,” Mickey says, nodding and smiling, liking this day a lot more than he anticipated.
Ian winks at him, making Mickey smile at him flirtily. “Okay, keep it PG, you can’t fuck in here anymore. It’s not sanitary,” Kev tells them when he sets their beers in front of them, catching the eyes they were giving each other. “Cause of COVID,” he adds when they both turn to look at him.
“No shit, sherlock,” Mickey tells him. Ian squeezes his thigh making his eyes snap back to him. They both pick up their beers and Ian clinks his against Mickey’s before taking a drink.
“What are you wearing?” Tommy asks from two stools over.
Mickey turns to face him. “You talking to me?” he asks, pointing to his own chest.
“Yeah,” Tommy says, turning to face him in his stool. He eyes him before asking, “Is that Ian’s shirt? Aww how cute!” he teases.
Mickey flips him off and says, “So what if it is?”
“Nothing, Mick, just cute you sharing clothes, those long sleeves on your little arms,” Tommy says.
Mickey’s eyebrows shoot up. “The fuck did you just say to me?” He’s about to get up when Ian pulls the back of his shirt, sitting him back down.
“Mickey,” he says simply.
Mickey shakes him off but stays seated. “Watch your mouth and I won’t beat the shit out of you. Next time, you won’t be so lucky,” he warns Tommy.
Tommy nods, “Sure, Mick,” he says sarcastically.
“Shots,” Ian says then, getting Mickey’s attention back on him. He ignores Tommy and turns back to his husband who winks at him as he lifts his shot glass up. Mickey follows suit and they knock them back.
*
They don’t stay much longer, haven gotten too handsy at the bar, Kev told them to get a room so they decided to do just that and go home.
They’re both drunk - Ian more so than Mickey - and singing as they walk home, making people look at them weird especially since they both don’t have masks on in the middle of a pandemic and are walking around outside around other people. They don’t give a shit, just flipping people off who give them weird looks.
Everyone’s home apart from Carl - lucky him - but they ignore them to run upstairs and close their makeshift door closed. Groans and complaints coming from them on their way up. They fuck quick and fast, all pent up energy from the day they had, before laying spent on the bed together, naked and regaining their breaths.
Ian turns his head to look at Mickey, smiling he says, “I had fun with you today.”
“What? Like you don’t every day?” Mickey teases him, pretending to be offended.
Ian smacks his chest lightly, chuckling. “Obviously I do, you’re always such a goddamn delight trying to fight everyone,” Ian teases right back.
“Fuck off,” Mickey laughs. “Who did I try to fight?” Ian laughs so hard Mickey shoves him, chuckling, “Fuck you.”
Ian turns on his side to face Mickey full on. “I love you but you literally tried to fight everyone today that wasn’t me for once,” Ian says, smirking.
Mickey turns also so he could face him. “I’m not the one who nags you every single day of my life.”
“I’m your husband, I’m allowed to nag you,” Ian says before reaching out and cupping Mickey’s face, his fingers moving back and into the hair at the nape of his neck, the cool ring on his finger touching Mickey’s heated skin, making him smile brighter than Ian’s words made him. Ian leans forward and kisses him on the lips. It’s soft, sweet, and short but it’s perfect.
“I guess you’re allowed,” Mickey says against his lips, making Ian smile brightly before kissing him again.
Ian pulls back after a few lazy moments of kissing to say, “I like the way you smell, anyway.”
“What?” Mickey asks, confused as to why he’d stop kissing to say that.
“It’s fine that you wore my shirt today ‘cause I like the way you smell,” Ian clarifies, making Mickey blush. He smiles at him softly, caressing his cheek. He brings their lips back together, showing him how much he loves him without having to obviously say the words.
Mickey didn’t expect the day that they had to happen when he woke up this morning and put Ian’s shirt on but it was perfect and he wouldn’t trade this life with Ian for anything in the world.
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365days365movies · 3 years
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May 1: The Prestige (2006) (Review)
Are you watching closely?
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This movie...this movie. I like Christopher Nolan, and he specializes in these mind-bending sort of films. Haven’t seen Memento yet, but Inception and Interstellar definitely fit that bill WELL. And Nolan’s definitely good at it, with this film now added to that list.
Gotta say, I wish there were more movies like this. You know, about magicians in the past. Plus, I’d really love to see a movie with more scientific magicians. Like, inventors who use their scientific acumen to perform insane feats. Really lean into that Arthur C. Clarke angle, y’know? I think it’d be pretty cool, honestly.
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Also, I haven’t seen The Greatest Showman, but I’m sure that Jackman gives off some similar vibes here. And before you say “YOU NEED TO SEE THEGREATESTSHOWMAAAAN”, I’m just gonna say: P.T Barnum does NOT deserve to have a musical made about him starring Hugh Jackman. Dude was an animal-abusing racist MONSTER, who did a LOT of fucked up shit in the pursuit of money. Dude rented a blind elderly black woman (while slavery was illegal in New York, mind you) and sold tickets to see her, claiming that she was the nurse of baby George Washington, and 161 years old. When she died of old age, he sold tickets to her fucking AUTOPSY! And that was the VERY BEGINNING of his career. FUCK P.T. BARNUM.
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...Anyway. Let’s talk about The Prestige, huh? Review time! Check out Part One and Part Two of the Recap, if you’re interested!
Review
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Cast and Acting: 9/10
Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, Michael Caine, David Bowie, Andy Serkis, and Rebecca Hall. HOOOOO BABY! These six are the tanks of this movie, and they’re all excellent in their roles. I knew that Hugh Jackman had more acting range than he’s often given credit for, but this is the first time American audiences could see that range, and he’s fantastic with it. Bale is kind of Bale in some ways, but definitely disappears into the role of Borden pretty seamlessly. Which, again, is pretty much Christian Bale in general. I could say the same about Caine, but he REALLY disappeared into this role. Usually, I still see Michael Caine when I watch him, but this was all Cutter all the time here. Bowie as Tesla was surprisingly great, watching Andy Serkis’ Alley has fun, and Rebecca Hall’s tragic Sarah is basically the emotional core of the movie. But where’s Scarlett Johansson, you ask? Well, she was...OK. I really don’t think she was great in this movie, but it’s not like she was bad. Still, that’s where the missing point is; with her.
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Plot and Writing: 9/10
I mean...come on. This plot is top notch. Based on the book written by Christopher Priest, and adapted for film by Jonathan and Christopher Nolan, this is a great story, and the twists are fantastic throughout. Genuinely didn’t expect the Borden twist...although I did figure out the Angier plot point pretty quickly, one the purpose of the machine was revealed. Yeah, soon as I figured that out, it was all over. I think the Nolans figured that that would happen, though. In any case, this is still a well-written film, full of references to the truth throughout. If you’re interested, watch this movie FIRST, then go on YouTube and find some video essays. You’ll see what I mean pretty quickly.
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Directing and Cinematography: 8/10
I’ll be honest: I do like Christopher Nolan, but he’s never really struck me with a particular directorial style. The more notable part of his direction revolves around his film concepts than anything else. Now, that isn’t AT ALL to say that Nolan’s direction is bad. On the contrary: it’s quite good! But I’d also be lying if I said that the direction of The Prestige really stuck out to me. Much as I hate to take away any points here, this just wasn’t super-notable to me. Wally Pfister’s cinematography is also fantastic, but equally as notable. So, good grade here, but not perfect.
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Production and Art Design: 9/10
Given the fact that this film is almost solely dependent on the idea of good-looking tricks and costumes, this is a VERY well-produced and designed film. Chronistically authentic and convincing, this is simply a goo looking movie. And the electrical effects are cool! There’s a lot to love here, is what I’m saying.
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Music and Editing: 8/10
Music’s good, and definitely sets an eerie tone that fits the film. As I write these reviews, I listen to the soundtrack again to put me in the mood for the movie, and it works. This soundtrack is also VERY good at knowing when to use silence to emphasize something, as showcased especially well during the very end of the movie. As for the editing...OK, real talk? It’s good most of the time, but it’s also kinda choppy half of the time as well. I get that the plot is suppose to take you all over the place, but...sometimes I don’t know how necessary the edits are. Like, showing Borden reacting to the journal seemed unnecessary sometimes. A LOT of flashbacks, is what I’m saying.
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Y’know...I think an 86% Is pretty good.
But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I thought I’d like it...well, a little more. I mean, again, 86% is nothing to sneeze at, but it’s definitely lower than I expected. I think that, once the euphoria of the twists and the ending dies down, you’re still left with a great movie...but not a perfect one. And I think that’s still completely fine, because this movie is still a STELLAR film.
Do I recommend thisWATCHITNOW. Sorry, uh...yes. Yes, I recommend it whole-heartedly. It’s a fantastic goddamn movie, and you should see it at least once, for the experience. And trust me, when you watch it once, you’re gonna want to watch it twice. It’s that engaging, and it’s that good.
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So, now what? That’s the first of the lo-fi sci-fi done, and it’s focused upon an interesting technological advancement: cloning. What’s another good advancement to look at? Well...why not something a little more unusual? Something not seen in the films very commonly. Something...something...uh...wait. What was I saying?
I’ve forgotten.
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May 2: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004), dir. Michel Gondry
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simuran · 2 years
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I posted 10,559 times in 2021
634 posts created (6%)
9925 posts reblogged (94%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 15.7 posts.
I added 10,016 tags in 2021
#art - 3038 posts
#satisfaction is not in my nature - 2570 posts
#perfection - 1374 posts
#posts by me - 722 posts
#the witcher - 504 posts
#fandom stuff - 410 posts
#asfgasdghsf - 391 posts
#have i rebloged this before? yes - 355 posts
#will i reblog this again? absolutely - 354 posts
#thor - 298 posts
Longest Tag: 90 characters
#Какой странный контраст между ножами в спине+замкнутым пространством и расслабленным лицом
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
I’ve read “The Old Guard”, and while I liked the movie better, I enjoyed it very much. Some highlights:
Andy has long hair, and by the end has of the miniseries it is braided, which looks amazing
Andy saying “Athena’s tits” and “Zeus’ scabrous cock”. Adorable
Andy calling Booker “practically a fucking baby” in her inner monologue asfasfsdh
When Andy sees Booker is dead and thinks he might stay that way, she’s jealous that he gets to die but she doesn’t. Andy no
She also pokes his brain with a finger; Andy why
Nile doesn’t meet Joe and Nicky until the rescue mission, which I think is a shame. The family dinner scene in the film was so lovely!
Andy saying that Napoleon lost not because of the winter but because of the Russians :D Andy saying that Russians are in part descended from her own people :D :D :D
Booker first died because he was hanged for deserting the army, and he had to spend three days hanging until the army passed. During this time he did this:
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“Gendarms are definitely on the way ... and maybe goddamn army! - Yeah, but it’s the French army, Nile. We can take them. - Hey! I was French army once! - I know, Book. But we keep you around anyway” skskss go off, Andy
prettyyyyyyy:
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The cave where in the film Nile found Rodin also hides the portrait of Andy with her mortal beloved from 19th century 😭 She spent a lifetime with him in Australia, and loved him very much, but sooner or later had to leave him 😭 😭 😭
“He never asked why he was getting older and I wasn’t. I told him that, if I could, I’d give all my years to him, instead of keeping them for me. He told me I’d given him plenty.” NOOOOOOO my poor darling :(
Andy feels furious about Booker’s betrayal, but it also feels “good”, because this is the first time she feels anything in a long time. Ma’am, please get some antidepressants
She’s still immortal, so she and Booker shoot each other over and over again screaming, until Nile shoots them both. It’s hilarious.
*falling from a sky-scraper* “So, Nile, read any good book lately?” asdadfsdsf where was this humour in the movie
“Go big or go home, babe” where did this “babe” go in the movie, huh? Huh?!!! How dare Mrs Prince-Bythewood deprive us of Andy calling Nile babe
All in all, the movie definitely did a better job developing Nile, Joe, and Nicky, but there were a few scenes in the comics I LOVED. Including the scene in a flashback where Joe jumps from a city wall to fight Nicky. What a badass move. What a drama king.
Looking forward to reading the second miniseries!
72 notes • Posted 2021-02-13 13:18:46 GMT
#4
Going slightly insane over Le Fanu’s Carmilla.
It’s the implication that Carmilla was trying to turn Laura into a vampire rather than kill her.
It’s the way Carmilla doesn’t care if Laura will love her or hate her afterwards - the only important thing is that she’ll come with her.
It’s the lack of emotional resolution, the absence of the final confrontation between Carmilla and Laura when all the masks would have been off, it’s the impossibility to know which parts of her were the mask and which were real.
It’s the fact that Laura is forever changed, and after a decade still! recalls Carmilla as both “the playful, languid, beautiful girl” and “the writhing fiend”, not being able to let go of either of these parts, and never! gets over her! never!!!
Good god, how am I supposed to deal with this!!!
81 notes • Posted 2021-10-18 11:33:04 GMT
#3
I've just finished Iron Widow and no spoilers, but I can't stop internally screaming. It was so fucking good! God. I feel like the book fished my brain out of my skull, gave it a wash, and put it back againg. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous!
87 notes • Posted 2021-09-22 14:21:11 GMT
#2
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asdsffdssdaffs, accurate
108 notes • Posted 2021-10-29 18:08:42 GMT
#1
Every time I see a post about how Loki and Mobius are the best of boyfriends and my knee jerk reaction is WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT WHEN MOBIUS LITERALLY TORTURED HIM
And then I have to remind myself about the most important meeting that MY otp had, and, you know
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Throwing stones, glass houses indeed
248 notes • Posted 2021-06-30 10:30:13 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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gffa · 4 years
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i see all these deleted scenes from tlj and i just... feel so annoyed because if rj had kept them in it would have improved the film. greatly. it would have provided more consistency for character arcs and emotional satisfaction imo. if it was a matter of running time i can think of a few scenes that we could have lived without and whose absence would have allowed the story to flow just as smoothly
One of the things that’s always interesting to me, as someone who edits a lot of concept art and reads the comments/tags on those posts, is I hear a lot of, “This would have been so much better!” (even on things I think sounded like they were almost assured to be bullshit) or “This looks so cool, how did it go so wrong?”  And I get a similar feeling with deleted scenes–just seeing the snippets of those scenes, outside of the connective tissue, it’s easy to assume they’d be amazing.I do agree with you, that TLJ’s pacing was probably the primary issue I had with it (well, I wasn’t a fan of the Force lore stuff, either), secondly the lack of missed opportunities for better connections between the cast.  So it’s easy for us to think, if they had just added a few more scenes in, it would have made a huge difference!  And that might be entirely true.But I think it’s also easy to just look at concept art, the barest sketching out of a moment, to see an amazing illustration and all this potential pops into our heads.  Looking at the concept art for TROS scenes that happened looks amazing!  Looking at the concept art for TLJ scenes that happened looks amazing!  And yet we still argue about those scenes or many of us find them dissatisfactory.At the same time I’m onboard with you that I think what you’re getting at is that the movies felt disjointed and the character relationships weren’t what they could have been.  I wish TLJ had opened up the span of time more, so it wasn’t just this single day that was right after the previous single day, I wish we had a better sense of the state of the galaxy, I wish we’d gotten Ben having more than two minutes of screentime with anyone but Rey, if we’re supposed to care about him as the son of legacy characters.  (And, boy, do I wish they’d taken the chance to explore Finn’s story as a literally stolen child made into a soldier for a war that wasn’t meant to be his, when at Canto Bight.  Parallel it to Rose’s story, how the First Order fucked over both of their lives, fucked over entire worlds and entire groups of people, that both of them are still dealing with it, in different ways, but the same root problem!)I like TLJ and looking at the concept art pieces that were included in the TROS artbook, especially the pieces of Luke on Crait, I’m reminded that there were a lot of moments in that movie that I really loved.  I enjoyed pretty much everything about Crait!Look at these beautiful pieces:
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Or this amazing one of the flashback scene:
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Concept art so often looks STUNNING and SO COOL, so it’s easy to think the scenes that will actually be written/filmed will be amazing with them, too.Or look at the footage of Luke feeling Han’s death now that he’s open to the Force again:
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It’s gut wrenching, it’s beautifully acted, but it’s an isolated moment that’s hard to put into full context (of how it would feel in the movie), so who knows how much it would have actually made a difference.I keep thinking of Leia sensing Han’s death and it was a lovely moment, but it’s so quick and you only see her face, that can only convey so much, and so ultimately there is a part of me that feels like, “Why wasn’t there more focus on that?  Why wasn’t she there, why couldn’t they write a story where she was there to see it?”  And maybe I would have felt the same way with all those TLJ deleted scenes–nice, but not enough.At the same time you’re absolutely right that one of TLJ’s biggest weaknesses imo was the lack of some better connective tissue and some of those deleted scenes–WHY THE FUCK WOULDN’T YOU GIVE LUKE TWO GODDAMNED MINUTES TO MOURN HAN’S DEATH ONCE HE OPENED HIMSELF BACK UP TO THE FORCE!?  YOU FILMED IT, WHY DIDN’T YOU KEEP IT?  IT WASN’T EVEN THAT LONG is one of the hills I’ll die on–and I think TROS suffered from the same thing, only a hundred times worse.That movie really needed to be two movies instead of one, even if I wonder if that would have actually helped, because maybe the reason I liked it(/didn’t hate it) was because it was a series of trailers strung together, rather than a slow, crawling pace.Overall, I think all the sequel movies suffered from a lack of things feeling connected aside from a handful of dynamics and supplementary material has done a nice job of filling some of those things in (Spark of the Resistance and Resistance Reborn and Alliegence and the TROS novelization have all been really good for this), but that the basic bones of what they had wasn’t terrible and the concept art and deleted scenes really reflect that.
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bibliophileiz · 3 years
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A (not really) Ode to bucklemming
Last bucklemming episode, and you guys, it was just such a classic example of their stale mediocrity. And yet, at the end of this post, I found myself bizarrely happy with how the episode turned out.
This is the second time I’ve watched it, and while I was planning to just liveblog my thoughts, I realized quickly that would not work, because most of the episode is boring and miserable, (especially the first third or so) and that makes for boring and miserable note-taking. I think I said in a tag of a different post that Dabb assigning this one to bucklemming is just further proof that he hasn’t cared about plot at all this season, and honestly, I don’t know there’s much they COULD have done to make this plot entertaining. Chuck even says at one point that it ... isn’t entertaining.*
The first third or so is basically Sam, Dean, and Jack being miserable with nothing around them break that misery up (except, briefly, a dog). And that makes for a miserable viewing experience. Here are a handful of notes I took that give you the gist:
- Chuck standing there talking about how loneliness and no-people is “deep” and a “page-turner” is such a gratifying little critique of shitty writers who like their gritty stories about permanently miserable protagonists. Like dude, you know there’s a reason nobody rereads “The Road,” right? - Dean slurring his words because he’s hungover is the first time anything interesting has happened with the dialogue in this whole episode. - Rob Benedict is the only one who gets to inflect his dialogue this episode. I do think his acting in that last scene is great, where he’s screaming, “Guys, wait!” as they drive off. It’s not a terrible ending scene.
So there’s that. Now here are my notes not-related to how stale and boring everything is:
Beginning: -The shots of Kyoto and New York City remind me of all the shots in NYT and other major newspapers after COVID shut everything down last spring (except in this case all the traffic would still be in New York, just no people). - “I couldn’t save anybody.” Poor Sam. (must push down feelings about Sam’s leadership arc and how it always seems to end with people dying, ugh, repress, repress!) - Also, I wanted to see a shot of a sink running and one of them turning it off. Just a random thing.
Archangel stuff: - I guess it makes sense to lose Adam if you’re going to kill Michael at the end, but goddamn if Michael isn’t a way more boring character without him. - Ah, Lucifer, a.k.a bucklemming’s attempt at comic relief. I’m starting to miss the boring dialogue. - Ooh, awesome, the only female character in the episode shows up bound and gagged and immediately murdered so she can be used and then murdered again. (Also, the first time I watched this scene, I was sure she wouldn’t wake up and was gearing up to laugh at Lucifer for sucking.) - Jensen stays as far away from her as he can when he unties her, I’m sure that actress appreciates him trying not to give her COVID. Course then she immediately ruins it by head-butting him, which is NOT practicing social distancing. - Many have commented on whether Lucifer can actually kill Death by snapping his fingers. We don’t know, but the Scythe WAS right there, and if Dean can kill Death with it (twice), I’m sure Lucifer can. - On the other hand, it IS established lore that God doesn’t have power in the Empty. Presumably he could negotiate with it like Death, and possibly he just took advantage of the loud chaos of Jack exploding, Death dying, the Empty apparently being super pissed, etc. to sneak in and make off with Lucifer. - Also WHY DO ALL THE ARCHANGEL FIGHTS IN THIS SHOW SUCK ASS???? - “I haven’t been in a battle like that in several centuries,” Michael says, as if he just fought the Battle of the Blackwater in Game of Thrones, and not what appeared to be the archangel equivalent of Mario Kart.
And climax/last scene: - But the best moment of the episode is when they GET BACK UP BLOODY AND HOLDING ONTO EACH OTHER AND ABSOLUTELY BEAMING BECAUSE THEIR LITTLE BOY IS ABOUT TO BECOME GOD. - Also, I like the music in this scene. And it seems like it’s the same place they used to film the end of Season 12/beginning of Season 13, which was probably peak Dabb era, ngl. (Jensen as Michael was also great.) - I also like that Jack and Chuck are both wearing light jackets, but Jack’s is a leeeeeetle whiter. - Chuck looking at the blank book is that moment in every writer’s life, when they’re like, “NOOOOOO, the computer DELETED EVERYTHING I WROTE.” - “Dean Winchester, the ultimate killer” You guys, 10 is Chuck’s favorite season. - Of course it is sweet that Cas’s last words seem to have had an effect on Dean, how he goes from “That’s (killing) all I know how to do” to “That’s not who I am.” I’m far from the first person to point that out though. - What happened to Amara is THE WORST. - Also, I am annoyed that Jack isn’t going home with them, because I really wanted him to be God, and a hands-off one, but I also wanted him to drive the Impala and solve crimes, ya know?  - Jared at least seems to understand that this ending is upsetting, because Sam has tears in his eyes, whereas Dean is just kind of like, “ah, he’s leaving.” Which is fine because DEAN AND JACK ARE NOT AS CLOSE AS SAM AND JACK, fight me. - Him disappearing into light is stupid, though. - At least Dean and Sam get to sit close to each other at the end. I wonder if that was the first scene shot after they got out of quarantine. - WHERE ARE THEY DRIVING? - Maybe to go see Jody. - WE GOT BELA AND CROWLEY AND ANNA IN THE MONTAGE HELLZ YEAH, ALSO ABBADON AND ELLEN AND RUFUS, but we also got fucking Asmodeus and Ketch and no Benny, what the fuck, Showalter?
So I have questions.
Some of them are unimportant, like how did people in restaurants at the end react when they found themselves looking at food that seems to have undergone days’ worth of rot in the blink of an eye? Also, you got a shot of a full airport at the end, but that begs the question: were there airplanes in the sky at the time Chuck snapped everyone away, and did they crash, and did the people on them get snapped back into crashed airplanes and was that not super confusing for them and did the airlines lose billions of dollars because all their planes crashed right before COVID shut them down anyway and if all that’s the case is it really any wonder they needed a bailout from the federal government?
But some of them are plot-relevant and could have helped an episode in desperate need of it.
For example, I want to know what’s going on with the Empty, and if Mark Pellegrino had talked about it for more than two seconds, I might not have hated every second he was on screen. Also, there are other things happening this episode. Like Jack walking around sucking life and “power” out of plants catches Dean and Sam’s attention immediately. We know that, because we see them noticing it and exchanging confused glances in the flashback at the end of the episode.
Here’s the thing though: Why not have that in the beginning? It’s not a Huge Reveal, and it would have given Jensen and Jared something to do in that stale boring beginning other than Make Sad Face. As pretty as Jensen and Jared are, and as good as they are at making sad faces, you cannot build an entire episode around that. 
Related, there isn’t actually much of a beat in the plot where it makes sense for them to figure out Michael will betray them for God. It seems like it will happen in that conversation between Dean and Michael when Michael expresses his hurt that Chuck let Lucifer out of the Empty before even asking for help. But at that point, it seems Sam and Dean have already come up with their plan. The flashback makes it seem as if they began to suspect Michael would betray them when Lucifer called him a cuck, something I think they made a plot point purely to have the word “cuck” in the episode for the third time.**
There are a few hopeful beats that show that bucklemming understand on some level that there needed to be some flow to this episode, such as the dog and Dean thinking he may have gotten Cas back. But I don’t think those are substitutes for showing Sam and Dean come up with their plan to defeat God. Even if you don’t want to reveal that they know Michael will betray them, you can still get one scene in there of them saying something like, “You think this’ll work?” if you just cut two minutes of Michael’s boring monologue in the church and/or Lucifer’s bullshit.
It follows this weird pattern of bucklemming once again seeming to not find Sam and Dean particularly interesting, so they don’t spend any time writing them DOING anything, or at least succeeding at anything, because they’d rather write Lucifer killing women and generally being an asshole.
So ... who cares, right? It’s bucklemming, they were bound to be mediocre-to-bad anyway, it kind of makes sense for Dabb to give them this episode because nepotism definitely makes it a best case scenario. And while I take issue with Dabb as a showrunner, I do think he’s great at standalone episodes and character stuff, so I’m not too terribly worried about next episode. I just think there were things about this episode that could have sucked less.
There ARE things about it that were fine, dare I say even good. It was in my notes, but I just want to emphasize that I LOVED the shot of Sam and Dean getting up bloody and broken, holding onto each other and grinning their asses off knowing that Chuck’s about to lose to Jack, and they get to see it! They may very well have gone into that fight expecting to die -- Chuck nearly just zapped them from existence, which would have still unleashed God-power for Jack to soak up.
The ending scene is pretty good, with Sam and Dean seeming like they’re still pretty beaten down, but trying to get it together. That’s more Jensen and Jared’s acting than anything bucklemming wrote, but it’s still good. The montage is good (although I will say for like the third time, where. the fuck. was Benny?) 
Jensen’s acting over the dog was SO SOFT (doesn’t he have a dog?). I half-expected the dog to run to him at the end, which would have been cute.
There are also things that were ... potentially good, if they’d been brought up correctly? I actually really like that Jack is going to be “hands-off” (although I like less that he and Sam will never see each other again, but Dabb did say it was going to be a bittersweet ending, so ....). 
I also -- and God, I’m going to get hate mail for saying this -- don’t mind that he didn’t bring Cas back. That highlights the difference between him and Chuck. Chuck brings back Sam and Dean (and, in Season 5 at least, Cas) over and over again, not out of love, but just to throw them back into their exhausting existence. In contrast, Jack NOT bringing anyone back (except the people who’d been snapped out of existence, which I would argue is more about putting the world on its proper course again, as opposed to “violating the natural order,” as Billie would put it). He knows he has to let people go. You could argue that’s always been his arc -- he and Cas even talk about how hard it will be for them to one day lose Sam and Dean back in Season 14 when they think Dean is dying.
But I wish there had been dialogue exploring THAT instead of the weird vague stuff about how he would always be a part of them. It doesn’t have to be anything super analytical like what I just wrote, it just has to be him saying, “I understand that in order to be a just god, I have to let things go and be at peace.” 
(However, if the reason they DIDN’T go that direction is they didn’t want Dean to be like, “You know, he’s right,” next episode and not rescue Cas from the Empty, then I’m fine with them leaving that out. Screw the natural order, Dean -- go rescue Cas from the Empty!)
I also really really really want to get some sense that Sam’s faith has been rewarded. We got a tiny glimmer of that this episode in the hushed, awed way Jared delivers the line, “Are you really ... him?” Sam has always been the one with faith in a just and loving God, and one of the things that aggravated me about the end of Season 14 was his faith being so blatantly not rewarded, in favor of promoting Dean’s more cynical take on God.
The show has always, since the very first season, raised questions about where God is, whether his will is just, and how we know we’re following it, and the main characters all have different answers to that -- Sam’s being the more faithful, optimistic view of “God is good”, Dean’s being the more critical “If God is good then why do bad things happen?”, and, most interestingly, Cas’ viewpoint largely fluctuating with his own sense of identity and self-worth. The point is, we had all three of these opinions on God, without the show ever explicitly saying which one was right.
Until very recently, I thought it should have stayed that way. But now I love the idea that Sam’s faith in God was rewarded not by Chuck, but by Jack -- the very boy he took under his wing and raised as his own son, the boy who understands that he is good and that people are good largely because SAM TAUGHT HIM THEY CAN BE. It’s just so beautiful, and I’m getting more and more happy about this ending as I write about it, actually, so maybe I don’t entirely hate Jack’s ending after all.
That was a happier note than I planned on ending this on. I guess that is how you stop worrying and tolerate bucklemming. 
Goodbye, bucklemming. I hated many of your episodes, but I will miss you and your weird, inconsistent writing that was so entertaining to pick apart and analyze and make fun of. I hope you find some cop shows where you can churn out more mediocrity and make some money. And in the meantime, stop killing off women.
*Yet another example from this season of the writers intentionally writing a bad episode to highlight the fact that Chuck is a bad writer. NEWSFLASH DABB: Bad writing is still bad writing, I don’t care if the villain of the story is the writer, I still don’t want to watch it if it’s bad.
**Which is such a bizarre insult to use. Isn’t it slang for a guy who’s wife cheats on him? I swear I’m not innocent or sheltered, I have just literally never heard anyone use that insult in a real context in my entire life. 
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stfusilas · 4 years
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~INTRODUCTION~
the jingle of dog tags under dirty tees, cigarettes lingering on clothes long after smoking has ceased, unshaven facial hair prickling against skin, a bic lighter always on hand, wind howling between barren trees on a cold winter night, locked doors with lost keys.
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‹ JACK O’CONNELL , HE/HIM, CIS MALE, BISEXUAL. › SILAS HENRY is the TWENTY-SIX year old from LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA. when a friend asked them what they thought of the manor they said,  ❝ IF YOU THINK THIS HOUSE IS SCARY, YOU SHOULD TAKE A LOOK INSIDE MY HEAD ❞ they claim SECONDS APART is their favorite scary movie, and if they were to die in a horror film they would SACRIFICE HIMSELF FOR SOMEONE HE LOVES. their fears include COMMITMENT, INTIMACY, AND LOUD NOISES, and they don’t know we know, but…HE DESERTED HIS SQUADRON IN THE ARMY AND WAS DISHONORABLY DISCHARGED. hope they enjoy their stay. ‹  muse b from walkman ›
Sup yall! I’m PJ, twenty years old (January 17th and I’ll finally be fuuckin legal!), and I use he/him pronouns. I’m in the EST timezone, New York babeyy! I was in this group awhile ago and I’m totally fuckin pumped for it to be back! I’m pretty boring honestly, especially compared to my son Silas. So enough about me and now onto him:)
Trigger Warnings: drugs, alcohol, gun violence, murder, mental illness
Silas was born on March 14th with fetal alcohol syndrome to a single mother who could never get her life straight. She was intoxicated when he was conceived, throughout the pregnancy, and stayed that way for most of his life. She did the best she could to provide him with food and shelter but they ended up at food banks and shelters more than once. 
He was a problem child which didn’t make it much easier on his mom. Fighting, not doing his school work, just causing a shit ton of mischief. He was ten the first time he got into his mom’s liquor cabinet (which was always full, despite their bare food cabinets) and eleven the first time he smoked weed. From there it turned into other drugs like acid and eventually cocaine. He wasn’t as bad as his mom but they were two fucked up peas in a pod. There are only a few drugs he can honestly say he’s never touched.
Besides getting constantly fucked up with substances, Silas had a habit for brawls and became infamous for being the kid who never seemed to lose even when he was against people larger than himself. He’d steal things, once the dumb fuck even took off with a car. Managed to get away by the skin of his teeth and never spoke about it again. 
All this landed him in trouble with the law but as a teenager he was let off easily every time. The judges felt sorry for him and cut him some slack, then he’d do good for a bit but would always eventually end up screwing himself over again. 
Despite being such an angry child, he managed to be decently funny. Made some friends because of his idiotic jokes and the pranks he used to pull. Stupid skits and other various things to show how stupid he is went on his Youtube channel and eventually his following grew a bit.  Think the Janoskians with all of their challenges like the cinnamon challenge, the milk jug challenge, etc.
Once he hit eighteen, he managed to screw up one more time and was given two options. He could either go to prison or he could enlist in the Army. Prison was’t something he wanted to experience so signing up it was. Truthfully, he wasn’t sure that he’d be able to pass the psych exam but he did it, graduating from boot camp and eventually being sent overseas.
Silas saw and did a decent amount of shit while overseas. He killed his fair share of people and would deny it if someone asked, but he enjoyed his first few hits. At one point he had to kill a ten year old with a bomb and that really fucked with his head. 
Eventually he developed depression and PTSD but he did his best to hide it. One day his squadron was ambushed and most of his friends were killed. Seeing all of them lying around on the ground, gone, was enough to tip the scales and he just ran, deserting the military. He managed to survive for about a month on his own before making his way back. They dishonorably discharged him (secret alert!) and now he’s back in the States, doing his best to pretend like none of it ever happened.
Silas tries to act normal but those closest to him can tell that he’s not. He’s posted a vlog since returning but it’s evident that he isn’t the same kid as he was when he left. He has nightmares almost every night and the flashbacks are pretty bad too. Most nights he doesn’t even sleep, too afraid to go back to the war. 
Silas has a huge fear of commitment. Whether it be to another person, his squadron, or just placing a goddamn sticker somewhere, he’s afraid of it. He’s fairly nomadic and he knows it, besides his two besties. There’s something about being tied down that gets him on edge. He doesn’t like to feel trapped, and that’s exactly what the military did to him. 
He’s also terrified of intimacy. not as in sex, but as in getting extremely close to someone. He’s afraid of opening up to people and letting them see his real emotions. Not even his friends always know what he’s thinking, especially when it comes to his feelings about his tours. The only way people find out about his night terrors are if they witness him having them, but he tries to avoid that as much as he can by not sleeping around others.
As much as he hates to admit it, Silas does not like loud noises. Music is fine, but just the slamming of a door or someone else yelling is enough to send a chill down his spine. Fireworks and gunshots are the worst, and even thunderstorms can cause him to panic. When this happens, it’s easy to notice, if you actually pay attention to him. He completely stiffens up and his eyes widen, his hair stands on end and if it’s really bad, he gets cold sweats.
He’s there with his two best friends, Muse A and C from his subplot, Walkman. They booked them the stay as a celebration for his return since he’s been obsessed with the manor for years. He’s actually super excited to finally get to stay inside a room there, especially with the two people he trusts most on this Earth. 
Wanted Connections:
Maybe someone who also knew him in high school? The old, angry, stupid Silas. 
An ex? He’s never been one for commitment so he probably fucked that up somehow. 
An enemy! He’s probably got more enemies than most.
Someone who watches his Youtube videos? 
A crush or something? Mutual or one sided for either, but I’d like to fuck him up a bit
Okay that got mad long so I think that’s all for now folks! I’m very much down for ALL of the plots so feel free to hit me up or just give this a like and I’ll slide into your DMs;) If you’d rather talk on discord you can find me @ pjnfluff#3272
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ageofgeek · 4 years
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Guys...they did the impossible. I liked Rise of Skywalker! They ended it well, and there were a bunch of parts that I REALLY liked (and really only a few parts that I was "meh" about).
SPOILERS UNDER THE READ MORE!
So!  Let’s go through the main reveals/plot points and then I’ll go into more specifics. Rey is Palpatine’s granddaughter - I’ll be honest, I did NOT expect that. I think after TFA came out, I reblogged a gifset that included all of the Rey parentage theories, and I was like, “lol what? who the hell thinks that Rey is a Palpatine? wtf?” And now it’s canon?  Honestly, it’s the same kind of batshit reveal that I’d expect from Star Wars, so I’m kinda okay with it.
Kylo Ren’s redemption was...not as terrible as I thought it would be. As y’all know, I am very anti-Kylo and anti-R*ylo, so I thought I was going to Suffer in this movie. But I was surprised by how I felt about it - only mildly irritated instead of bursting with rage. I still think he doesn’t really have a personality other than 1) whiny 2) manipulative and 3) emo, but I did like the scene where he hallucinates Han and repeats his line from TFA (”I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it”). That being said, it is still highly questionable to have Kylo’s redemption built on Leia’s death/sacrifice for her son (it reads a little too much like fridging a woman to save a male character), but I will excuse the filmmakers for that because they didn’t have much footage of Carrie Fisher to work with, so there wasn’t too much they could do if they wanted to commit to not digitally reconstructing her (which I am glad they did not do).
I digress (I’ll talk about Leia in the next paragraphs). I did like that Kylo just showed up to the final fight with Palpatine in like, a henley and slacks. It seemed like a very Skywalker thing to do, lol. Also, thank God that he died. Like, damn - I see all these Kylo stans being so upset at his death, and I’m just like?  His character purposefully paralleled Vader - a parallel which I think was weak, at best, but still, a parallel - and you thought that he wasn’t going to die?  Also, what would have happened if he had lived?  Oh right, he would’ve gone to prison for the rest of his life and not gotten married to Rey and have kids, lol, what universe are you living in? As it was, I think that they did his death well - like Vader, they had him sacrifice himself for somebody that he loved (although the bond between Rey and Kylo is, once again, much more questionable to me than the bond between Luke and Vader/Anakin). And like Vader, he turned back to the Light because of his family (Leia and Han). Thinking about the 2 other ways Ben’s character arc could’ve gone (1) he doesn’t turn back to the Light or 2) he turns back to the Light but doesn’t die), this was the only satisfying way to end his arc (at least in my opinion).
That being said, I REALLY could’ve done without that kiss. Like, really? You just had to force it into an unnecessary romance? You couldn’t have just had them hug or cradle each other, platonically? Both of the climactic emotional moments of the previous trilogies were completely non-romantic, and both focused on love of FAMILY - Luke cradling Anakin, his father, as he dies, and Obi-Wan being forced to “kill” Anakin, his brother. It would’ve been so much better if they had ended this one with Rey cradling Ben, her brother, as he died. But no, we can’t have nice things because heteronormativity exists. *sigh*
But, we’re moving on. I thought that they handled Leia’s character really respectfully - I think Carrie Fisher would’ve been proud. I’m still bitter and sad that we only got one scene in the entire sequel trilogy with Luke and Leia (the OG Skywalkers and you only had them in one fucking scene together? Goddammit), but that force ghost scene at the end with the two of them made me happy - it was a bittersweet happiness, but happiness all the same (also, since it is canon that force ghosts get to chill and rest and be happy in the afterlife, I am more than happy with that ending. It also makes me want to write a ton of fanfiction. Stay tuned for that). I also burst into tears when Leia died and Maz stood near her bedside and whispered, “Goodbye, Princess.” Wow, that did things to my heart!
Ian McDiarmid continues to be a goddamn delight to watch as Palpatine, and he was genuinely creepy and horrific in this movie. I still feel like bringing Palpatine back to life (albeit in zombified form) was a real slap in the face to the perfect ending of ROTJ (and it especially cheapens Anakin’s role as the Chosen One, which is really a slap in the face for me), but they did it as best they could. I think I would’ve preferred if Palpatine was in spirit form in this movie, trying to come back to life by using Rey as a conduit or a body? Something like that would’ve honored the end of ROTJ a bit more while also bringing him back as the big villain.
All in all, I liked TROS much more than I hated it, especially since I had pretty low expectations going in. I’ve talked about the big “reveals” and moments so far, but I really liked the little things in this movie! For example:
Rey, Finn, and Poe were a full-on OT3 trio in this movie, and I loved it! The mission to find the wayfinder in the desert? Adventures! Chase scenes! Exploring! Jokes! I loved it - it was definitely giving me “Tatooine in ROTJ” vibes. They all kind of wandered apart in the second half of the movie, but they came back together at the end for that hug!! Which made me cry buckets!! (Poe holding Rey’s hand as they both hug Finn??? Wow, OT3 goals, they are so in love)
Chewie and Lando were great!  Lando felt a little random in this movie (no explanation as to where he was? No mention of Han’s death?), but I always appreciate Billy Dee Williams, so I’m not complaining.
In that same vein, WEDGE CAMEO!!! They got Denis Lawson back, and right after I got back on my Wedge/Luke wagon! Damn, I wish we could’ve seen more of him (maybe there are some deleted scenes??? Listen, I neED MORE WEDGE IN MY LIFE).
And again in the same vein as cameos, um, that Jedi voice scene??? Listen, ok, hearing Hayden’s voice again was more than I ever thought we would get, I was sO EMOTIONAL, I heard him and almost immediately burst into tears. And they got Ewan and Liam Neeson and Samuel L. Jackson(!!!), and the voice actors for Ahsoka and Luminara and WOW I am super emotional, that was hands-down the best scene in the movie for me. I was so happy to hear all of them - the acknowledgement of the prequels and the rest of the Jedi, FINALLY, after 2 previous sequel movies that didn’t give a shit about them. FINALLY we got this. And you know what? I would’ve been even happier if they had shown their faces, but I will take it. I will fucking take it. (That being said: Oh, Disney Gods - please let Hayden return for flashbacks and/or hallucinations in the Obi-Wan series. Please. It’s all I want in life).
The confirmation that Leia trained as a Jedi and had a lightsaber - I almost full-on clapped in the theaters at that scene. And I loved the training sequence/flashback that they had with Luke and Leia - they actually showed them sparring and I loved it so much! It was amazing - why couldn’t they have included that earlier? (Cue me singing: “We could’ve had it allll!!!!!”).
Luke’s Force Ghost appearance really redeemed his character from the beating it got in TLJ. It was a short scene, but it felt so much more like the Luke Skywalker I know and love, and I’m glad that they gave Mark Hamill a chance to really play Luke again.
The end scene with the Resistance coming to help. It felt a little Endgame-ish to me (then again, that was arguably the best scene in Endgame), but we definitely came full circle from TLJ, where the Resistance was basically abandoned on Crait and nobody answered their distress call. In TROS, everybody answered their distress call.
I also like that C3PO had a bit more of a role! I really love R2 and C3PO, and I like that they kept to Lucas’ original vision of the two of them being the only ones to be in all 9 films. I also deeply appreciate R2 being with Leia when she died - that felt incredibly moving and appropriate, and also coming full circle from Leia’s first scene with R2 in ANH.
Finn being confirmed as Force-sensitive! Finally! Fucking 4 years since TFA and we finally got it - hallelujah.
I think that’s about it! Honestly, I’m just so high off of the endorphins of hearing Anakin and Obi-Wan and all of the Jedi again! That scene made the entire movie worth it for me.
But this is the end of the Skywalker Saga, and that makes me really sad. The one thing that I am really upset about with regards to this movie is that it literally ends the Skywalkers. At least if you end the original 6 movies with ROTJ, the implication is that Leia and/or Luke will continue the Skywalker lineage, and they will continue to be leaders and jedi and heroes - but when you add in the sequel trilogy...it just ends. Anakin’s grandson turns to the dark side and ends up (indirectly) killing Luke, Leia, and then himself. And THAT’S how the Skywalkers end? After the tragedy that was Anakin (and Padme’s) life, history just repeats itself and the family line ends? That’s...depressing. But I think that the sequel trilogy, in a way, is still very distant from the other 2 trilogies - in a way, it reminded me of a weird, high-budget delve into the EU that is technically canon, but doesn’t feel like it’s canon???
Either way, I’m happy to accept the sequel trilogy as pseudo-canon, but still apart from the original 6 movies. I’m glad that we got to see some, if not all, of the OT characters again. I wish we could’ve gotten more - out of the old and new characters - but what we got was okay, and I enjoyed the ride.
And now, I’m just going to go cry over the Skywalker family and read force ghost fanfiction :’)
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rainymeadows · 4 years
Text
I rewatched Eternal Diva and this time I took notes as I went through
Dive under the cut if you dare to experience my mad in-the-moment ramblings (warning for spoilers for pretty much the entire prequel trilogy)
-          Don Paolo’s voice sounds like what Papyrus’s voice probably should
-          Winter Layton is precious in that giant coat
-          Janice is so pretty omg an angel
-          Layton geeking out over the Detrogan is goddamn adorable
-          I love how everything is greyed out in Janice’s flashback
-          Suuuuuuuuper subtle indication that maybe “Janice” seeing how young this little girl was is what prompted her to find a way to put an end to this whole thing
-          Whether it’s a moped or the Laytonmobile, Emmy drives like crazy XD
-          Bitch you ain’t on Top Gear
-          God her big sister relationship with Luke is adorable tho
-          Aaaaaaaaaaaah Layton smiling at their banter dad’s so happy for his son
-          They did such a good job reusing the game’s music for this movie
-          The opera house looks so cool but so precarious – my first thought upon seeing it was “when is this thing going to sink”
-          I MEAN IT’S ON A CLIFF
-          Janice’s voice is so pretty TToTT
-          I like that they kept the Japanese vocals for her singing
-          SONG OF THE SEA-SHADOWING
-          I hate that Layton and Luke were the ONLY people to honestly applaud the performance. Everyone else is a DICK
-          First time I saw this dude, I thought “that’s a puppet, no ordinary person moves like that even in animation”
-          Once again, Layton putting a polite and gentlemanly spin on “fucked if I know, my dude”
-          Lol I love that even the people who didn’t applaud and thus apparently knew what they were in for weren’t down for dying
-          Fuking cowards
-          Layton is always DTF (down to fight)
-          GROSKY OF THE YARD
-          FUCK YES
-          This dude’s manliness is infectious
-          “Gee, I wonder who’s behind this-“ *Descole’s theme starts playing* “-oh well never mind”
-          Honestly who else but Descole would be this fucking extra tho
-          Gotta admit I love the twist of the opera house being a ship, I was totally expecting it to just go plunging into the ocean at a moment’s notice
-          Aaaaah the CG in this movie is really well done
-          Layton’s angry face is kinda ridiculous but I love it
-          I love that it’s pointed out like “where tf did all these sharks come from”
-          I prefer Cartoon Saloon’s Song of the Sea, but this one’s pretty too
-          Lol as if a MAN-EATING SHARK could keep down GROSKY OF THE YARD
-          I’m surprised he can see over the top of his chest hair
-          God, the detrogan is such a cool instrument and I really wish something like it existed irl
-          Ah, it’s only like fifteen sharks, Grosky will be fine
-          I love the air of mystery surrounding Oswald Whistler
-          Layton’s hat is made of 100% pure uncut husband material
-          AAAAAAAAAAAAAH I LOVE HOW PUZZLES ARE USED IN THIS MOVIE IT’S SO GOOOOOOOD
-          I’m so glad they didn’t scrap it entirely coz I mean they’re so integral not only to the Layton games, but Layton himself
-          This music box tune kinda gives me Gravity Falls vibes tbh
-          I think the backing melody sounds pretty identical to the tune’s intro
-          I love that this movie actually lets us see inside Layton’s head and his thought process, it’s so much better than just having him put everything together seemingly offscreen
-          Tbh any puzzle where “the night sky” is the solution is bound to be a good puzzle
-          I just fucking love the implied MASSACRES in this movie
-          God Luke is so goddamn precious
-          Pffft pumpkin dude is so subtly duplicitous
-          Okay I have ot pause for a bit to rant about layton’s design because it’s SO GOOD. Warm colours make him seem welcoming and kinda comfy and the simple facial features, while a bit Ditto-esque, do combine nicely with his overall shape to scream “friend”. Professor Layton is friend shaped. And of course there’s the popped collar to show that he’s cool, the high collared shirt gives a scholarly vibe, his shoes which I stg are plimsolls show a practical side and of course the quintessential top hat shows that he’s a Gentleman first and foremost. Add the amazing voice to that and BOI I DIE
-          Although I can’t help imagining that gif with the teddy bear slapping eyebrows onto its face to look angry whenever he gets mad
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-          Luke is not friend shaped. Luke is son shaped.
-          Precious bab shaped
-          Wpw a sea captain I would never have guessed other than the “sailor” accent and the fact that you’re wearing a sailor’s uniform
-          Ugh I love these quiet moments where things can sink in and characters can just talk to each other, I really wish more movieswould do this
-          I love that even if you don’t have a literal look at his thought processes, you can still see Layton THINKINg
-          Agh Amelia is SO CUTe this series is so good at designing beautiful women and cute girls while also making them look DISTINCT
-          I like that they hinted at her intelligence by having her solve the puzzles by herself
-          One advantage a film has over the games is that the visual novel format kinda limits the dialogue, coz it’s hard to convey one charafter talking over another
-          I really like the side characters. They’re simple, yes, but they don’t really need to be complex
-          I will admit that the limits of Layton’s simple facial features means it can be hard to tell who/what he’s looking at sometimes…
-          “that man” asked me to write an opera, huh
-          WHY DOES NOBODY ASK WHO
-          Fuck descole’s theme is SO GOOD
-          WHERE DOES HE GET THE FUNDING FOR ALL OF THIS THOUGH
-          And Grosky boards the ship just in time for it to blow up XD I love this dude
-          I can only imagine his gigantic pecs act as a flotation device
-          Layton preventing Luke from looking at the exploding ship THIS MAN IS SUCH A DAD HE’S SO GOOD
-          I love this scene with Emmy investigating because these parent’s appearances are just enough to make it ambiguous whether they’re Nina or Amelia’s parents
-          Seeing them all wrapped up in blankets is kinda cute tbh
-          LET. THEM. SLEEP.
-          I wonder what Layton uses to keep his hat on?
-          Lol Emmy pushing a fossil aside to look at the map
-          I can only assume, given that they set off from the White Cliffs of Dover, that this island is SOMEWHERE off the coast of mainland Europe in about the same region as Spain
-          Ugh I LOVE Emmy’s uppercrust accent, the fact that she sounds like such a refined lady is such a fun contrast to her literal arse-kicking
-          Also this is totally BBC news lol
-          I love the detail of the historian’s scrapbook being kinda hodgepodge with bits falling out
-          And I love the Ambrosia Seal being super detailed but the subtle incorporation of a sheet music design
-          Gotta admit I totally thought this little banquet was poisoned on my first watch
-          Lol I love that pumpkin guy just KEEPS POURING THE WINE
-          Ugh that beach looks SO PRETTY, I want to go there
-          Janice is totally crushing on Layton, pass it on
-          D’awwwwww luke trying to befriend ‘melina’ is SO CUTE this boy must be protected at all costs
-          Layton how did you hear what she was humming from all the way over there
-          Why do so many anime characters have inexplicable super senses
-          Those wolves’ eyeliner is on point lol
-          “I’m not built for running” lol mood
-          FUCKING HELL DESCOLE WHO IS FUNDING ALL YOUR SHIT
-          HOW MUCH DISPOSABLE INCOME DO YOU FUCKING HAVE
-          Admittedly on my first watch I wasn’t as familiar with descole’s theme, but I saw that castle and I just thought “it’s descole, only he can be that extra”
-          The twist of using the cages for personal protection rather than to trap the walls is simple, but so clever
-          I love that Mr Whistler was one of those accidentally trapped outside. Keeps suspicion off
-          And I love Layton saying “well that solved PART of our problem”
-          YOU SHUT UP LADY THE PROFESSOR IS AMAZING
-          And then he trips and falls lol that’s what you get for wearing old man shoes
-          “Even a good gentleman needs to get some exercise!” pfft
-          Oh hey, they found the starter house that Descole was using while he was building that castle. I wonder what texture pack he’s using?
-          And here Layton puts MacGuyver to shame in the most Ghibli way possible
-          I’d love to see someone try to build this thing XD someone call the Mythbusters
-          Bjut I adore how even LAYTON isn’t sure how this fucking thing works
-          Fucking NERD
-          Yeah, these filmmakers were TOTALLY influenced by Ghibli
-          This is so Castle In The Sky, it hurts
-          “Hang on tight! NOT TO THE PILOT!” – best line in the movie
-          You can’t escape it, Layton. You is a dad
-          DID YOU GUYS NOT SEE LAYTON LAPUTA-ING HIS WAY IN
-          It’s great how all those puzzles seem like they could be ripped straight out of the Layton games, complete with outside-the-box bizarre thinking required to solve em
-          I’m so proud of Luke for solving it!!!!! Such a good boy
-          RUDE
-          Yeah, just stand in the middle of the suspiciously empty room, I’m sure nothing will go wrong
-          That’s what you get for shoving Layton aside, bitches
-          Lol I guess luke could just step through the bars if his head was a bit smaller
-          DESCOLE HOLY FUCK YOU ARE THE KING OF EXTRA
-          “humble scientist” GOOD GRIEF WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT YOU DRAMA QUEEN
-          I love that Emmy can FLY A PLANE
-          Holy shit grosky there are better ways to signal for help
-          And LESS GROSS WAYS TO DRY YOURSELF OFF IN A PLANE
-          Yeah, see, you lost your knickers
-          Ugh, god. I adore this scene with Layton in Melina’s room. It’s so quiet, the soft evening lighting… aaaaaaaaaaah so peaceful, but you can still feel the tension in the air, especially after Melina comes in
-          Oh my god, Layton plays like an angel *swoon*
-          The lack of background music in this scene is what makes it so perfect, the tension is so REAL
-          Lol I love the historian just standing there like ‘welp there they go’
-          NOOOOOOOOO LUKE DON’T CRY
-          BIG SIS IS HERE
-          Oh fuck yes
-          EMMY I LOVE YOU
-          God she and grosky are so fantastic XD
-          WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO FIGHT LIKE THAT EMMY
-          Somehow emmy gives me Michelle of the Resistance vibes
-          God, I kinda love it when you can tell Layton’s already put it all together and is just biding his time
-          AAAAAAAAAAH I love the subtle resemblance between Layton and what you can see of Descole’s face
-          In hindsight, that… stole? Is that what it is? The fur thing isprobably to hide his face shape because it most likely ups his resemblance to Layton
-          But he’s totally wearing black converse like the extra hipster nerd he is
-          God, I can’t even imagine the nightmare of having your memories overridden and personality suppressed
-          Aaaaaaaaaaaand here’s the summation. I love this part in pretty much every Layton thing
-          “Assisting you was the scientist, Jean Descole!” Descole: lol hi
-          LAYTON YOU ARE SUCH A DAD I LOVE YOU
-          Him being gentle with kids is so sweet
-          Also damn this backstory is a lot. I can’t imagine the pain of losing a loved one, but I’m not surprised a father would do anything he could to keep his daughter alive
-          “When did you realise I was involved” “ur an extra bitch who lives for drama, who else could it be”
-          That brief bit of Luke without his hat just makes him look even more BABY BOI MUST PROTECC
-          Okay real talk when did Janice get hold of the key
-          I’m guessing it was in the commotion when Mr Whistler grabbed Luke
-          SUCH A GOOD TWIST I LOVE IT
-          My heeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaart goddammit
-          In hindsight, the hint of Janice wearing Melina’s pendant was really subtle and clever
-          GODDAMMIT DESCOLE CAN YOU STOP BEING EXTRA FOR LIKE TEN SECONDS
-          It’s kinda cool that he’s an archaeologist too though. It really does run in the family.
-          The way Descole and Whistler’s schemes intertwined was really cool
-          Yeah, it just wouldn’t be Descole if there wasn’t some over-the-top machinery
-          YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS MAGIC MUSIC THIS IS MY SHIT
-          When escaping from a crumbling castle, do be sure to grab your boy.
-          AAAAAAAAAGH THE SCENERY IN THIS MOVIE IS SO FUCKING GOOD
-          Good lord, there it is. Descole just can’t function unless he has some ridiculous Humongous Mecha at his command
-          This thing looks especially monstrous and I love it
-          I don’t think I’ve seen ANY faults in this movie’s animation, jesus Christ
-          Descole, did you learn nothing from the attempted excavation of Troy? It’s very possible that your efforts to unearth Ambrosia will be what destroys it!
-          Aaaaaaaagh this flying scene is intense as FUCK
-          Layton and Luke are SUCH A GOOD TEAM
-          WHAT IS THIS MUSIC I LOVE IT
-          Luke you are SUCH A GOOD BOY
-          Sorry but you’ll never be mob tho
-          Mob is perfection
-          JESUS CHRIST DESCOLE ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL A CHILD
-          I was about to ask where that explosion came from but then I realised it was probably a petrol-powered chainsaw
-          Layton who told you that you could look this goddamn epic
-          But I love that he’s taking on the sword-armed Descole with a PIPE
-          That footwork tho
-          Layton must be an amazing dancer
-          So cool that he’s patiently explaining why Descole was wrong
-          Sun, stars and sea. I feel like that’s a Dothraki term of endearment meant for oceanfairing
-          MORE MAGIC MUSIC I AM BLESSED
-          AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I LOVE THIS SO MUCH THIS IS THE FUCKING COOLEST
-          I’M SUCH A SLUT FOR MAGIC MUSIC GODDAMMIT AND THIS IS DOUBLE TEAMING ME WITH SINGING AND PIANO
-          I do enjoy that despite its emergence, Ambrosia is still partially submerged. Some movies would’ve had it rise from the sea completely
-          Lol at Descole losing his shit because SOMEONE ELSE found the answer
-          Yeah, bad idea attacking someone right on top of your humongous mecha’s control panel
-          “DESCOLE!” dude he’s fine you really think he’d die
-          I was going to ask why Emmy didn’t use her plane but she probably couldn’t get to it in time
-          Yeah, this is SO Ghibli. The gigantic industrialised machine self-destructing on the ruins of an ancient civilisation lost to nature
-          Noooooooooo don’t do this to me movie, nothing kills me like sad flashbacks
-          Ow my heart
-          This hurts
-          “I’m sorry, Father. I’ve only ever brought you grief and sadness, haven’t I” as someone who’s struggled with depression this is a whole-ass mood
-          NO THIS HURTS STOP IT
-          Also the lil detail of Whistler’s waistcoat being the same shade of purple as Melina/Janice’s dress
-          NOOO DON’T MAKE LUKE SAD
-          “I’m so glad all of you were my very last memory.” Damn that line hits hard
-          GIVE THE GIRL A HUG, LAYTON
-          I said a hug, not a hand on the shoulder, she needs a HUG
-          Seeing the destroyed detrogan really hammers it home, huh
-          It’s very kind of Grosky to let Whistler play one last time in memory of his daughter
-          When I got into the Layton series, I was no expecting to be hit so hard with the FEELS
-          “Do you know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?”
-          GNU Ambrosia, I guess
-          Ugh it’s so PRETTY tho
-          Fucking sparkles and shit
-          D’awwwww, I love the image of Luke patching up the wolves, he’s so sweet
-          Knowing the truth about Emmy and seeing her being so happy with Layton and Luke makes it really painful :’(
-          The world needs more of Layton with a big, happy smile
-          Awww, Author Lady and Pumpkin Dude kept in touch
-          GROSKY GOT HIS UNDIES BACK
-          Ugh seeing Layton and Luke peacefully listening to that music is SO CUTE and SOFT
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butchedyke · 4 years
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(for the char thing) stanley uris, mike hanlon, and patty blum
migz!!!! i’m sorry i abandoned this in favour of video games and capitalism i hope i can make it up to u uwu
this is mostly going off the movies but there’s occasional book and miniseries input- i’ve only read the first few chapters, a few wikia pages, and some character meta from the book and i’ve only seen the miniseries once vs the however many times ive watched the movies in the last 2 months so don’t expect consistency between canons
 (also i’m gonna put these under a cut because this post got really long)
stanley uris
How I feel about this character:
there is a reason i use the tag baby boy for stan (and also for miniseries eddie)!!!! he’s my favourite loser other than eddie and i want to like. hold him and make sure he’s happy and healthy and i think stephen king should treat his characters better.
All the people I ship romantically with this character:
patty!!!!! their relationship in the book makes me so happy and anyone who’s ever spoken to me about stanpat knows that i am at all times thinking about how she calls his car sedanley.
that being said, i respect stenbrough, stanlon, and streddie but overall this is a stanpat household
My non-romantic OTP for this character:
stan with all the losers but especially richie! which isn’t very original since they are literally best friends but their dynamic!!! good!!!! i’ve not been able to stop thinking about that one scene from the miniseries where richie introduces stan as “this is stan the man uris, he’s a jew,” partially because it’s fucking funny because who says that richie what the fuck, but also because stan just instantly follows up by saying that richie has a high metabolism which makes him hyperactive, and maybe it’s because the miniseries is campy and a little bit shit but the delivery of those lines makes it seem like they do this a lot! they have these introductions ready to go! and i love the idea of them as a platonic package deal even if we don’t get to see much of that in the movies
My unpopular opinion about this character:
i don’t think i really have any? i tend to follow people who hold the same opinions as me tho so i have no idea what’s popular outside of that dshfk
i mean i do think fics that save eddie but not stan aren’t really fix-its and going off the amount of fics where stan’s still dead i guess that’s somehow an unpopular opinion? i know everyone’s focused on reddie rn but god like. stan is right there can we stop ignoring him pls
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:
i mean the most blatantly obvious answer here is that i wish he didn’t die! he should’ve gotten to go on his holiday and rail/get railed by his wife and live to meet his friends as adults, catch up on the 27 years they didn’t get to be with each other. he should’ve gotten to have kids, once everything was over, and they should’ve been able to grow up with 5 extra uncles and an aunt bc u can’t tell me the rest of the losers wouldn’t be deeply embedded in their lives. i just wish stan had a chance to be completely, 100% happy without the underlying terror of his childhood.
on a smaller note i also wish we’d gotten to see more of his interest in birds in the movies bc like. he’s babie. and who knows! maybe would’ve helped stop the perception that his entire personality is just being a bitch that hates richie jshfd
mike hanlon
How I feel about this character:
part of the reason i wanted to read the book was for more mike content because i adore this lil farm boy and the movies. well. y’know. :). characters who just openly and whole-heartedly love their friends and go straight ride or die like 10 minutes after meeting them have my whole heart! he’s so smart and so kind and just wanted to protect his friends as best he could even though he dragged them into this whole mess bc he doesn’t want to lose them again!!!! mike deserves the whole world and if his way of getting that is by getting out of derry and getting to know that his friends remember and love him and each other then that’s all i want for him.
All the people I ship romantically with this character:
i wasn’t overly set on any particular mike ship until i watched the miniseries and saw the homoerotic bike montage and now i’m fully on the hanbrough train. choo choo.
just like with stan i support stanlon but endgame hanbrough is just. it’s right there in the text. bill didn’t divorce audra for nothing in ch2.
My non-romantic OTP for this character:
this also kinda ties in with the last point, but jane @billdenbrough opened my eyes, in the middle of a very in-depth conversation about audra’s minion strap, to the world of best friends mike and audra who are both with bill which is both galaxy brained and an incredibly good concept which i think about a lot
also i think mike and ben could’ve had something Incredibly soft if mike wasn’t treated like a background character in the first film and a quest-giving npc in the second one :) :)
My unpopular opinion about this character:
i headcanon mike as gay, i have no textual evidence for this, i just think he’s neat. i think it’s a pretty popular opinion that the movies treated him poorly? and i also think that in ch2 he was just trying to protect his friends in a scenario that did not lend itself at all to protection. drugging bill and not telling the others about the full ritual might not have been the best thing to do, but he was in a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation, and he was trying his best to save his friends no matter how impossible it may have been.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:
i uh :) i don’t know if anyone’s figured out yet :) that i wish many things had happened with mike in canon :) :) the first film doesn’t give him much but the second film just infuriates me completely tbqh! he’s basically entirely there to push the narrative (his dialogue doesn’t even sound like dialogue! it sounds like prose explaining the plot and the next steps the characters have to take!), or to drug and lie to his friends. i wish they’d kept his backstory the same, that we’d actually gotten to see him find his token, that he’d gotten a token relevant to him as an individual rather than the group, that we’d gotten a flashback for him, that he was given more screentime and development across both films, like... i wish he’d been treated like the other losers and not a plot point.
i also wish we’d gotten to see him on his travels post-canon, seeing the other losers, and just generally actually getting to be happy- we see the start of it but god i just want to see him having a good time outside of derry.
patty blum
How I feel about this character:
if she were not stan’s wife she would be my wife. we don’t get to see much of her in the movie or miniseries and that is a fucking crime!!!! i’ve already mentioned sedanley but like. sedanley. i’ve read patty’s bit in the book and that’s all i need the other 1100 pages can get fucked, she’s just here to watch family feud and love stan which i can confidently say is a huge fucking mood
All the people I ship romantically with this character:
STAN. i guess i already talked about this before but i’ll keep going!!! my love for stanpat overwhelms my usual distaste towards straight relationships bc they’re so good!!!!! the fact that they’re really the only happy relationship to come out of the 27 year gap and they love each other so much and so like... wholesomely? but they still blow each other’s backs out on the reg and it’s what they deserve.
also i sometimes think about patty/audra as like. kind of a crack ship kind of a “i’m a lesbian and i’m desperate to see lesbians” ship. i haven’t thought about it in depth i just want to plant the seed
My non-romantic OTP for this character:
stan introducing patty to the losers and patty becoming an honorary loser is my weakness!!!! patty being comfortable enough to rib richie (and richieandeddie) with stan, but also vice versa going along with richie’s bits. patty and bev getting close because as much as st*phen k*ng and co push bev as One Of The Boys(tm) there’s just something in having another woman around that can be refreshing especially when they’re both bicons. patty and mike enthusiastically sharing holiday pictures and tales of their trips. patty noticing when eddie’s having a bad day, whether it’s anxiety or lingering trauma, and supporting him through it, regaling him with stories about stan and what essentially amount to dad jokes (sedanley!!!) and making sure he knows he’s loved and supported by all the losers. patty, the teacher, and ben, lunchtimes-in-the-library ben who never outgrew his love of reading, nerding out over shit that the others don’t really know about. bill telling patty all about what stan was like as a kid in that way only bill can, richie chiming in with crude comments sometimes but noticeably keeping quieter than usual, and patty returning the favour, telling them about the last 27 years, and not even richie makes a single joke when everyone tears up (because he’s tearing up the most). stan sitting there the whole time not even bothering to point out that he’s right there because it’s enough for him to see the romantic love of his life and the platonic loves of his life bonding, and yeah, maybe it was worth sticking around for.
My unpopular opinion about this character:
i don’t know if this is unpopular but patty pegs. that’s all.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:
more patty. let me see my wife.
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minaminokyoko · 5 years
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Godzilla: King of Monsters: A Spoilertastic Review
To get straight to the point for some of you, yes, thank God, this movie is better than Godzilla '14.
For one, the title character is not only in the movie for a decent amount of time, they don't constantly cut away from the action and the film is properly lit so that even in night scenes and scenes with heavy rain, our lizard boi is fully visible. He also is kicking some ass and taking some names, and that's what we came here to see. Thus, it's immediately better than its predecessor.
However, a big problem with the movie is the humans. Not the supporting Monarch team, mind you, but the "family." This is one of the most poorly written families I've seen in a while. It's just baffling. They are very, very unlikable people. You don't really get to know them much, and moments where you do, you just don't like them. They are not easy to root for. It's a very similar problem to a lot of other disaster movies, where they pick a bunch of high strung, angry, selfish people as your leads to the point where you're kind of rooting for the disaster to get them, and that's sadly the other half of this film.
In short, they do the kaiju stuff well, but the humans drag the movie down a couple of enjoyment levels, if you ask me. Let's get to it.
Overall Grade: C
Spoilers ahead.
Pros:
-Godzilla and the other monsters look and sound great. They truly feel like their title: Titans. The movie does a good job of offering scale and giving you different perspectives to understand the size and scope of these creatures, and it's very cool to see some of them in the flesh while others are just named. They name-dropped Kong three times that I counted, but he's still Sir-Not-Appearing-In-This-Movie, which is irritating, but I also think that's for two reasons: (1) they need to build the hype train and sadly this movie is not on track to do well, as evidenced by my theater only having about eight people total in it opening weekend, and they need all the help they can get if they truly want to turn this into a franchise (2) they want to give him and Godzilla an entire rivalry film to themselves instead of just making him an extra here in this movie. Give them the room to breathe and be rivals in their own film rather than just shoehorning Kong into this debut of the other kaiju. But back to my point, the monsters all feel corporeal and intimidating. I really liked Mothra's design in particular. She looks gorgeous and is kind of the Ugly Cute variety of monster. I very much enjoyed seeing these creatures with some good effects given to them (although there are a few spots where it could look better, but WB struggles with this a lot, I've noticed) and the sounds they make are tremendous and impressive.
-The monster fights are pretty solid. I do admit that Pacific Rim kind of raised my bar for kaiju fights even though I know it's not the same story, but that to me is the perfect balance of human characters who are actually likable and useful versus giant monsters. I think it just should be a good blueprint for how to run the show if you're advertising giant monsters blowing up shit and beating the stuffing out of each other. I think the monster fights in King of Monsters are paced well and you can mostly understand where they are in relation to each other and how evenly matched they are. There were also smaller, neat details like seeing Mothra in her larva state then evolve into her adult form. That's very cool and creative and I enjoyed that little detail. The final smackdown with Godzilla and Ghidorah was a good monster mash, and I appreciate them giving it time and not cutting away. Godzilla's finishing move was 100% badass. Kudos to the big Lizard Boi, and kudos to Mothra for coming to help her lizard boyfriend as well against Rodan.
-The Monarch team is dicey at best, but the humans actually did more than just following him around like in Godzilla '14. It was actually a smart idea to introduce the ORCA and the concept of trying to at least either soothe or summon the monsters. I liked it a lot, and it was relatively realistic. We as a species are stupid and would of course try nukes first, but once they learned that these things actually feed on radiation and it makes them stronger, then they would be forced to find alternative options. It allowed the human characters to finally be truly relevant and not just dumb, wide-eyed spectators (although, God, there was a lot of that in this movie) and it gave the whole thing a sort of story.
-Just like the previous movie, Ken Watanabe gave a performance this movie did not deserve. He's just one of those actors where he's so seasoned that even though God knows this movie's script is not fucking Shakespeare, you could still tell that he cared a lot about the project and was easily the best actor hands down.
-I'm glad Emma dies. Fuck her. Thank you for having the teeth to not try and give her some shitty redemption that she wouldn't have deserved anyway. Thank you for sticking to your guns and doing just like Deep Blue Sea and letting the person responsible for all that death take the final bow for her shitty fucking actions.
-This has nothing to do with the canon, but I had a really cool idea: what if Last Action Hero Bad Guy is Tom Hiddleston's character from Kong: Skull Island? Wouldn't that be fucking neat?! It just occurred to me that since Hiddleston's character was probably in his 30's during the 1970's, he'd be in his 70's during this film and he's a tall, thin British dude. I would love it if we got some kind of backstory reveal that something happened that caused Hiddleston's character to turn against Monarch. Wouldn't that be a good idea for a second Kong movie? Seeing the hero turn to the villain for the sake of saving the planet? Man, I like that idea a lot, but that's me.
-I was glad to see Ziyi Zhang return to a big screen movie. I liked her and felt bad about what happened to her career, so it was cool seeing little bits of story, especially about how Asian cultures do in fact consider reptiles to be helpful and not hurtful. That was a neat little mythos thing for me.
Cons:
-As mentioned above, I hated this fucking family. This family is just unbearable. I know the film is ham-fisted in its attempts to deal with loss and tragedy and a broken home, but there is a way to do that. There is a way to write characters reconciling and putting aside a rough history to come together. This is not the way. It's so sloppily written that I was throwing my hands up in exasperation at certain points. They are so unlikable. You see so little of their home life, first off, that there is no real connection to get to know them. This is a common problem in action movies these days, too--they don't know how to set the stage and just rush into action. It's true we come to action movies for action, but that doesn't mean we don't also want to enjoy the characters we're spending time with. We know it's fully possible to have action packed movies with well-written leads. It's been done for decades, so this movie has no excuse for why the three family members are aggressively terrible. Emma is a selfish, thoughtless bitch and her motivations make zero sense. Mark is just an angry ex-alcoholic who just barely is relevant enough to be in the story. Madison is damn near a blank slate daughter archetype with little to offer except to be something to rescue. Even with one brief flashback of when they were happy, we're not given a reason to root for them because you never get to know them and the few character traits they do display are just awful. For that reason, we're gonna give Emma her own bullet point to explain why she is just the worst.
-Emma's motivation is completely ass-backwards. Going the eco-terrorism point makes no fucking sense for what happened to her. Hear me out. I can see what this movie was going for, and I know it's kind of an odd comparison, but what they ended up with is basically blonde Thanos. Fuck this woman. Fuck this woman for deciding that she's right and millions of other people need to die because she thinks she is right about something, and she was fucking wrong. 100% fucking wrong. It made no sense that because Godzilla killed your kid, you're gonna slaughter tens of thousands of other kids to "restore the earth" and make it some kind of utopia. You're gonna subject innocent lives to torture and death and trauma in the hopes that titantic animals you cannot at all control and barely understand will raze everything to ashes and then shit can grow again. This is some deeply white people shit, too. Sorry to pull that card, but yes, this is a full-on white people mentality of doing something that will hurt everyone else BUT YOU and thinking you have the right to make that fucking decision. She and Maddie were somewhere safe, and she told her ex-husband to go somewhere safe too, and then she pulled a trigger that killed millions of fucking people whose only crimes were existing. That environmentalist message was utter shit. Is the earth overpopulated and polluted? Yep. But the fucking solution is not to kill half the goddamn population. The solution is to work together and overthrow the corrupt people keeping us from finding realistic ways to solve the problem, not wiping out half of humanity while you sit in a goddamn doomsday bunker sipping coffee and congratulating yourself. The crazy thing is this blonde Thanos bullshit did not need to happen. Last Action Hero Bad Guy was perfectly fine in this role of basically the kaiju version of Ra's Al Ghul. It made sense for him to be like, "ay, fuck y'all for killing the earth, let's let the monsters have it back and then clean up afterward." All you had to do was keep it the way it was presented to us: he kidnapped her and the kid and forced them to help wake up the monsters. There was no need to for this idiotic Deep Blue Sea nonsense of her agreeing with him and somehow setting it up. Which, by the way, made no goddamn sense because he kills all those innocent scientists in the lab at the beginning of the movie. Did she know he would do that? If so, fuck her. Fuck her in the ass sideways for killing her own teammates. She could have met him somewhere else. What was with the guns and shit if she's the one who came up with this dumb idea? I hate everything about this character and I am glad she died in the end because she was as much a fucking monster as King Ghidorah.
-The dialogue in this movie is atrocious. Look, I get it, it's a generic action movie. But come on. There were seriously points where I just rolled my eyes or threw my hands up in exasperation because there were just so many Captain Obvious comments or unfunny one-liners thrown back and forth. It's painful to endure some of this shit. The "humor" in particular really hurts, because you can see they put pauses after certain lines where they think the audience is laughing, and trust me, no, we were NOT laughing. Stupid shit like telling a character to "hold on" as a fucking maelstrom is trying to blow them away or just other dumb filler dialogue that makes me wanna slap my forehead. It's egregious.
-The Monarch team is still kind of as stupid as the last movie. Not completely, but they were reaching hard in certain cases and they still felt useless. One example that drove me insane was when Godzilla went back to his bachelor pad to recharge, they then say this is where he comes to heal...and then proceed to nuke that shit. And I'm like...bitch, whatchu gon' do now if he gets hurt?! You're just gonna find him and nuke him every single time he's hurt?! What the fuck kind of plan is that? I get that the movie writers wanted a sense of urgency, but that was such an idiotic way to accomplish something needed for the plot. They introduced a cool concept and then eliminated it immediately. Oy. Another example is Mark's dumbass screaming for Maddie like she can possibly hear him at Fenway Park with fucking Ghidorah and Godzilla literally fighting right on top of the stadium. Are you kidding me? My God, Mark is stupid. He did the same thing when he ran into the base with a fucking pistol screaming her name and letting the armed mercs know exactly where the hell he was. I am shocked his dumbass didn't get immediately picked off. Moron.
-Sarigawa's death was some full-on nonsense. Fuck you for killing the only credible actor in the entire movie, and what's worse is that it very much feels like a person of color dying for the sake of some goddamn white people. Because, yes, folks, I'm sorry, this is a white woman's fault. All this shit is because a white woman wanted to be Thanos and now this awesome dude has to sacrifice himself. Fuck off. I hate this point in the story, even though bless Watanabe for giving us the only credible emotional scene in the entire movie.
-Even though she was barely a character, I disliked Sally Hawkins biting it randomly in the first third, and not getting much reverence. No, we didn't know shit about her, but it felt like the movie just said "fuck it" and moved right along like it was no big deal. I don't know why they even bothered.
-How in God's name did they somehow "sneak" Ghidorah's whole ass head out of fucking Boston with no one noticing? It's a giant dragon head! How did you fucking do that and no one saw you bring it all the way to Mexico? I swear to God, this movie is filled with plotholes. I'm fine with them setting up Mecha Ghidorah or just cloning him all over again, but why couldn't it just have been in Boston and they just snuck in during the dead of night and moved it somewhere nearby? That thing is gigantic and it's a hard pill to swallow that they just left without anyone noticing it.
EDIT: A fan corrected me that this was the head that Godzilla ripped off before the end fight, so the above point is invalid. Nice catch! Thank you! 
-Nitpick: Did Mothra die? That was unclear. I hope not. She's the Queen. I'll have to ask some Godzilla fans to explain what they thought happened after Ghidorah blasted her in the final fight.
-Nitpick: Good God, these human characters survive shit that would easily kill a normal person and it is a little bit grating on the nerves to suspend your disbelief this hard.
-Nitpick: I hate it when monsters the size of fucking buildings somehow notice tiny ass humans enough to bother giving them their attention or even their ire. "An ant has no quarrel with a boot." I hated it in '98 Godzilla and I still hate it. Something on that scale should not even vaguely bother with one tiny human being, but that's me.
I know I have some very heavy criticisms, but this is still a decent flick if you're just going to shell out for a matinee showing. The monsters are great and entertaining and there's plenty of fighting to go around that is worth a peek, especially the end fight with Ghidorah and Godzilla. It was pretty cool to see in IMAX as well, but I leave that up to you folks if it's worth it.
Kyo out.
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Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald
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I had a friend create a 10-category, 50-question Harry Potter trivia quiz for my 30th birthday. I have a Ravenclaw tattoo that takes up most of my right forearm. I’ve helped orchestrate an HP-themed baby shower. I’ve held multiple HP movie marathons. And when we were first dating and Wife told me she’d never read the books, I legitimately cried and then blocked it from my memory. When she told me for the second time, months later, I cried again. 
One could say I’m a fan of the wizarding world. 
So here we are, at the second entry in the second wizarding franchise, and the only question really worth answering is, is this a world that’s still worth visiting? Well...
Imagine someone you love - it could be anyone, but as an example I’ll use your best friend. Imagine your BEST friend, whom you’ve shared so much with, whom you’ve gone through ups and downs with. That one. Now imagine that every few months, your best friend’s mom sends you a text, or calls you, or puts up a billboard in your town that seems to be actively trying to get you to hate your best friend. Things like “She kicks puppies” or “One time, she made fun of a homeless man until he cried” or “She told me she wants to set fire to a hospital.” Like, real fucked up stuff. Would you maintain a relationship with that friend? With them both? Or would you cut ties completely and just hold onto the memories of the friendship you used to have?
I’m genuinely asking, because J.K. Rowling seems hellbent on shitting all over the things I love in some twisted effort to make me utterly baffled and repulsed by the world she has created. I never thought I’d say this, but Johnny Depp is the least of this movie’s problems, so welcome to Whose Crime Is It Anyway? where the timelines are made up and the plot points don't matter.
A spoilery summary! Our favorite Hufflepuff Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne) is asked by Hot Dumbledore (Jude Law) to go to Paris and find Credence (Ezra Miller). You remember Credence, the sweet emo boy from the first movie whose death functioned as the climax of the film? JK JK death is meaningless and impermanent here! It’s the roaring 20s, everyone’s drunk. Newt needs to find him because Grindelwald (Johnny Depp, doing his best impression of day-old potato salad) is also looking for him. Credence is the subject of a prophecy that everyone’s familiar with but the audience, you see, and he’s currently trapped in a Parisian street circus with a woman/snake named Nagini (Claudia Kim, and yes, THAT Nagini). Jacob and Queenie (Dan Fogler and Alison Sudol) also show up again, because they were in the first movie too so they have to be here for this. Jacob’s memory has been restored because...~handwavey reasons~ and Queenie decides to join The Mayonnaise Man’s cause as a wizard Nazi because...she wants to marry a Muggle. Somehow I think she didn’t read the whole orientation flyer. Leta Lestrange (Zoe Kravitz) is engaged to Newt’s brother, Theseus (Callum Turner) but is mostly hanging around to look sad and reveal that Credence couldn’t be her long-lost brother because she killed her long-lost brother by switching him with another baby on a ship right before it sank at sea. And she’s right, Credence isn’t her brother - he’s gone over to the dark side, where the vaguely human amalgamation of cauliflower rice tells him he’s the long-lost brother of Albus Dumbledore! Because why the fuck not, nothing else in this goddamn thing makes any sense anyway.
I would also like to point out I left out at least 40 more characters, many of whom seem to be important but are never named or introduced in any way.
SEVERAL thoughts:
Visually, this world is stunning. The set designers have done an incredible job showcasing new magical settings in rich, vivid detail. The Parisian street circus and the French Ministry of Magic building were particular favorites of mine.
Likewise, the 1927-era costumes are drop-dead gorgeous. This franchise should really be called Fantastic Coats and Where to Find Them.
50 galleons seems so steep. I wonder what the wizarding inflation rate is.
Snakes can fit through bars of cages...
Performances - Redmayne is sweet, but virtually shoved out of the way in his own franchise; Kravitz is cold and removed - is that acting choice secret pain or constipation? Hard to say; Fogler is underutilized, especially after being the emotional MVP of the first film; Sudol is fractured and manic, completely devoid of her earnest warmth from before; Miller barely gets 3 lines, and mostly looks like he’s about to cry; Law is fine as hell and kindly and wise and doesn’t give off weird “I’m going to use children as sacrificial lambs without telling them or anyone else about it” vibes, so that’s already a big step up from the Dumbledore we get in the books; and then there’s Johnny. Johnny “lightly braised tofu” Depp is giving one of his most understated performances in years, to the point that he’s almost...boring? Most genocidal fuckheads are at least compelling speakers, but this dehydrated turnip just sort of glides about, while his followers do dastardly things for him. He doesn’t even kill his own toddlers, he outsources it to his followers. Does nobody believe in honest, hard work anymore? 
Basically all of the details - the set dressing, the costumes, the overall aesthetics and feel of the film - are beautifully realized. However, the foundation is made of smoke and sand and the distant sound of JKR’s maniacal laughter.
Cast and endorse an accused abuser who is teetering on the brink of public collapse? Check. Include outdated Orientalism cliches by casting an East Asian woman as mysterious, dangerous, and literally snake-like? Check. How about a white imperialist Imperius-ing Leta Lestrange's (black African) mother and literally forcing her into sex slavery with no follow-up or reflection on the part of the film or its characters? Check. It’s like some sort of perverse bingo game she’s playing to try to alienate everyone who might have seen themselves in the Harry Potter universe as belonging, because they understood what it was like to be an outsider, to be abused, to be shunned and made fun of and ostracized. Cause fuck all those people, amirite?
And that’s just the offensive choices from a purely political standpoint. How about the offensive choices regarding more trivial matters like linear time and space - like Dumbledore teaching Transfiguration, not DAtDA. Or like Professor MacGonagall being born in 1935, yet somehow teaching at Hogwarts in 1927. People apparating inside Hogwarts. Complete reversals of characters’ personalities and motivations. Characters being introduced and never seen again (where did Bunty go?? Did she die???) Characters NOT being introduced and never seen again (what up Jessica Williams, super psyched that you’re here, sure would be neat if I knew who the fuck you were playing or why that person was important!) If the references are meant for fans’ benefit, it fucking BACKFIRED, because most HP fans I know aren’t looking for a convoluted soap opera where babies are switched, people have secret brothers, everyone's amnesia gets reversed, and people come back from the dead.
Now that I think about it, the practice of confronting a boggart is super problematic. Like people have traumas. It's not all spiders and snakes, Dumbledore! God, Hogwarts pedagogy is shit.
I’m still not convinced that Jude Law’s tasty Daddy Dumbledore could possibly still be in love with this tuna salad sandwich from a vending machine at the DMV. That flashback in the Mirror of Erised is supposed to be full of longing but all I could think was, “is this how straight people think gay sex works?” Would have loved to hear that day in the writer’s room. “Maybe we could have them kiss?” “Too gay. What if they exchange blood vows and hold hands to form a magical amulet?” “Nailed it.” *everyone high fives and chugs a Red Bull* 
There’s just...so much. So much that I wish were different. I don’t quite know how it’s possible for a film to explain both too much and not enough, but here we are. The Crimes of Grindlewald isn’t just a title, it’s a prophecy of what audiences are forced to endure here - it’s not just separating art from artist, it’s not just cultural exploitation and othering, it’s not just queer erasure, it’s not just overplotted and underwhelming narrative, it’s not just cheap shocks and winking references. The rap sheet just keeps getting longer and longer, and I have to wonder when, if ever, Rowling will atone for these crimes.
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bthump · 6 years
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I'm not asking you because I disagree with you rather you have a good point that fans from both sides(you know which "sides" I'm talking about) belive it to be true. Just what is it about the Berserk manga that makes it necessarily "unadaptable"? Is it the subtext that producers consistently dodge? Is it the themes that didn't age well with the times(like rape every goddamn panel). Or is it something else?
Hm I’m not sure what post you’re referring to, but I do think that like… idk if Berserk is entirely unadaptable (did I say that somewhere? genuine q because I very well may have but I don’t remember lol), but each adaption definitely does a good job of fucking up certain aspects, and any adaption I’d like is probably an adaption most fans would hate lol, I think it would be impossible to please everyone.
Also like, a straight adaption is only going to be as good as the source, so you’d be stuck with pretty immense flaws - like the Eclipse rape is a major one. You can maybe improve it slightly
(eg I think the 3rd ova added a nice touch when they gave Casca a perspective shot of Femto that called back to her flashback of being sexually assaulted by the nobleman. It was a good way of grounding the audience in Casca’s point of view for a moment instead of purely objectifying her and illustrating what the assault means for Casca in a way the manga entirely failed to do. Then of course the ova immediately ruined that by making the scene super long, objectifying Casca anyway, and adding that ridiculous soundtrack, but welp)
but ultimately you’re still stuck with the worst example of fridging a female character for the sake of manpain I’ve ever seen. You can’t get rid of that fridging either because like half of Berserk is about Guts rescuing Casca and taking her to Elfhelm. Casca being a non-entity is fundamental to the plot.
But if you do start really changing the story you’re going to piss fans off.
Also yeah I think that like… the subtext makes adapting the story extra difficult, and I don’t just mean the gay subtext (to be fair the ovas embraced it to an extent) though that’s def part of it, but the fact that Berserk is actually a pretty subtle story in a lot of ways. Like the reason I was able to write 15k words basically just explaining my understanding of Griffith’s narrative lol is because 90% of his story is actually subtext, and again not just gay subtext. The fact that he’s driven by guilt is technically subtext, the reason he becomes emotionally dependent on Guts is subtext, the reason he’s obsessed with his dream is subtext, how he wants to change the world is subtext, the reason he has a breakdown when Guts leaves is subtext, his self-loathing is subtext, the reason he makes the sacrifice is subtext, etc etc.
It makes for a very engaging and rich story and it’s the reason I’ve had so much fun picking it apart for ages, but it also means there are going to be differing interpretations of it, even when the subtext is really really obvious. Like it’s very clear to me that the people who adapted the 97 anime didn’t really understand some of the story lol, even while they were adapting it nearly shot for shot most of the time, and you can see that lack of understanding in mistakes like turning Griffith’s scratch marks into a giant scar in the scene after he sleeps with Charlotte. They went with what the image looks like at first glance in the manga without giving any thought to whether it actually makes sense or means anything.
so differing interpretations of the story are def going to mean that an adaption can’t please everyone because like… even if you’re as true to the source material as humanly possible, you have to make choices when you’re filming it, from directing voice actors to music cues to how long to linger on a shot to the tone evoked by a colour palette, to just interpreting what we’re seeing in a panel, etc. Your own understanding of the source is always going to shine through.
another good example is the way the anime adds guts’ theme to the scene where he asks casca to leave with him. the manga’s tone was surprisingly casual and bordered on ominous with the way it immediately transitioned to snake man and the behelit making their ways to the scene of the eclipse. but the anime’s music choice turns it into a signficant moment of character growth and uncomplicated romance. But then if I adapted it and added the underlying sense of ominousness and highlighted Guts’ non-committal phrasing and his general attitude as negative, that would frustrate a lot of fans.
Anyway all that said, I don’t think it’s unadaptable because ngl I can envision an adaption I’d personally love, but it’s definitely impossible to make an adaption that every fan would agree is great, probably moreso for Berserk than most stories. The 97 anime comes closest, but even the acclaim it gets is hardly universal.
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