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#i hate it!! i hate being angry so much its the one fucking emotion i rarely even let myself experience
widevibratobitch · 5 months
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so i am singing that vitellia in the end... but at what fucking cost.
'you gotta sing this softer'
'what'
'this is mozart'
'this is vitellia'
'this is mozart'
'im singing about how much i hate this mf and want him dead before the end of the day'
'this is mozart'
'i wanna murder a guy'
'this is mozart'
'...'
'softer. gentle. mozart'
'...ok'
#they're killing me here#i already bargained for ONE (1) note in chest (thank you so so much that i am ALLOWED to sing an A3 in chest voice <333) and now THIS#THIS is why people hate mozart. fuck you.#i recorded that rehearsal and the first version sounds SO MUCH BETTER. after i did what she asked me to do its just. so fucking boring.#i hate it here#i love this duet so much but frfr im not sure i wanna do it if i have to do it on their terms.#also like sorry to be a bitch but you're a pianist girl. just stick to your stuff and let me take care of mine.#just because you're playing this like you're constipated because tHiS iS mOzArT doesnt mean the rest of us dont care either.#its possible i never will get the chance to sing the entire vitellia so i want to do justice. as much as im able. to this one chance i get#it took me A Long While to deal with the fact that i wont be able to bark that 'indegno' and 'regno' like i always envisioned.#but like. ok. whatever. i can still make it Entertaining. THIS however. no. no fucking way.#and its not even about me being a big-headed know-it-all who thinks she's better than everyone because. lol and lmao clearly im Not#but this is about having a fucking SOUL. its about actually taking the libretto into consideration too. its about trying to figure out#WHY mozart wrote it the way he did. like sorry but this is another fiordiligi case where its CLEAR that the amplitudes the crazy jumps#are there FOR A REASON. the reason is HE WANTED A CONTRAST. some fucking EMOTION. he sure as hell didnt want it to be Soft And Gentle.#i know it because i talked to him and he told me im right about everything as always and you can eat shit girl bye#grrrrrrrr im so angry#i knos i sound so arrogant here but please. please i just want to make this music fun and enjoyable. i just dont want it to be boring#please understand my vision im begging you
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n0ct0urn1quet · 1 year
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hgonesly at this point i really do wish i could just say Fuck It and disappear off the face of the earth for a little bit bc honestly . i donot want to be alive
#2023 off to a banger start for me (got into an argument with my mom on new years about her bf reminding me of my abusive dad#and havent had peace or a good nights sleep since!!!!!!!!!!!)#i am absolutely fucking miserable and i just donot want to Do It anymore#i hate this house i hate the people i live with i hate this world and i hate everything thats happening to jme but i cant do anytihing#i cant do anything to Fix Anything i cant do anything abt my problems theres just so much Wrong With Me that i dont know how to fix#i dont know if i CAN fix most of the issues i have. i have so much ptsd and trauma from so many different things and its all just. hghg#and i want so badly to just let it out and talk to the people Around Me about it bc it is Serious and i shouldnt be just not talking about#it but. i just cant bring myself to Do That. i am constantly afraid that the people around me will be angry with me if i even so much as#speak up about the things that make me upset and its not their fault and its no ones fault but my own and i just dont know what to Do#im scared of confrontation and im worried that if i try to talk about it its gonna lead to an argument!!! i know it wouldnt but im terrifed#so id rather just not talk about it. which then leads to the problem not getting resolved because. fuck man im sure the people around me#know that somethings up but i never bring it up so therefore they never find out and it gets swept under the rug like all my other issues#i pride myself on being good at being emotional and being open but in reality i am emotional. yes. but not at all good at being open#ive never been good at it and i feel so BAD because like. yes i love you. yes i trust you and i know you would never ever be mad at me#for just talking about my feelings. i know this and i love you for it. but im so bad at conveying that. even though i trust you with mylife#im just bad at opening up. it does not matter how long we've known each other its just such a struggle for me to Be Open to anyone#of course its not much better that im coming to tumblr and puttign this here for 100+ people to see but just. i dont know#im mentally unstable ive never had good coping mechanisms and im the only person awake and everyone else that i usually vent to is asleep#so all my thoughts just get piled up into one messy little ball and it gets thrown to tumblr because i need somewhere to put them#im sorry. im exhausted. its been a long week and i wish i could just hybernate for the rest of the month and not interact with anyone#i just wish i could mvoe out and live with my gf and our cat. that is all i want and that is the only thing that would fix me
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philosophicallie · 3 months
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also being short in the western world is fucking humiliating and not even in a compare your appearance way. its the fucking constant lack of fitting clothing because your proportions are so fucking short because you total up to fucking FIFTY FIVE!!!! 55 inches ONLY
small sized clothing will usually still have 4-5 excess inches for fucking standardization IM NOT THE STANDARD IM A STUPID SHORT ASIAN IMMIGRANT JUST LET ME HAVE SMALLER CLOTHES WITH SOME FUCKING DIGNITY
#this is a very personal problem and i wish i could complain more but i dont have theq energy and all i have are tears#but like i already live thru the embarrassment of asking for help constantly and using stupid ass ladders#cant i at least fucking have some actual short people pants please. please. i have to geqt shit tailored or start doing mods myself but#I SHOULDNT HAVE TO ITS 2023#i literally want to die tonight so i can stop being a burden on my bfs bc i can feel it i can feel how taxing i am and i know i shouldnt be#thinking this but like. i cant stop. i make it hard to be my friend i make it scary to be nice to me all i wnt to do is attack bc im hurtin#but thats not. gonna make me feel better in any way but thats not gonna stop the constsnt impulse in there to just start screaming#and its worse knowing thwt no matter what route is taken ill still get angry. or maybe i just want them to be angry about me already so i#have an excuse to get wngry back and idk. feel catharsis through that or something#idk. i hate my stupid brain and i hate my stupid ex for making me hate it more#im so angry and i have no one who is comfortable enough to deal with that so instead ill sleep earlu @#idk i hate differences they make me fixated on all the ways i can get angry about it so idk how to deal w that#i have so much to compare + i cant say it bc if i do then theyll be conscious abt it/theyll know its smth that just adds .1% to anger meter#ugh i think were hoing to moms this Christmas and while thsts nice i dont. have the emotional capacity to confide in her#i only want my mom. but i cant tell her any of this bc theres nothing that she csn even do#other than just throw money at me for support#i hate this#original#vent
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darling--core · 1 year
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okay okay i NEED this. yan!bully x an mc who's absolutely terrified of him? like they have these big watery doe-like eyes whenever they see him, they cower and flinch away from him every time they interact, definitely the type to break down and cry whenever he corners them. maybe they were a victim of severe bullying before he started bullying them hence why they react the way they do 🥹 bonus points if you can wiggle in some smut in there (sometime after they get used to him lmao) bc im a major loser for crybabies who get overwhelmed easily during sex 🫶
i know you did a general crybaby mc before so i get it if this is too similar! but id love to see smth w their emotions being a direct result of his actions
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hehehe your wish is my command anon. sensitive crybaby reader x everyones favorite jackass luka it is~ also im SO sorry it took me like a week to get this done 😫
gn reader, sfw above the cut and nsfw below! 💕
tws: general yandere behavior, he's generally toxic lol, bullying, crying, dacryphilia, sex in a public place (closed school building)
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✎ [ yan!bully x crybaby darling pt. 2 ]
💌 you constantly crying over him, even the mere sight of him, is a whole different ball game than just being sensitive.
💌 honestly? it breaks his heart. he'll never admit it, and in a lot of ways that in itself only makes him more angry. he shouldn't care. he doesn't want to care. if anything, he should be glad that you hate him, are afraid of him– he's driving you away exactly like he wanted.
💌 but fuck, does it really, really hurt. he hates your little scrunched up crying face, and he hates how much he wants to cup your face and wipe away your tears.
💌 he also hates that he knows you're so sensitive because other people have hurt you like this in the past. and those people better really pray they aren't from the same school/college as you and him are. it can be awful hard to pay hospital fees as a student.
💌 its going to break him down in a much different way than a flirty or aggressive darling would.
💌 and that breakdown happens when you're cornered by him after hours at school. you start sobbing, as usual for you, and he can't take it anymore. he can't keep up the facade, not right now. he pulls you into his chest, and the hug is awkward, but he's trying so hard to soothe you– rubbing his hand up and down your back, petting your hair, muttering to you that he's sorry. and his hands are shaking.
💌 things sort of change between you after that. he's still an absolute asshole, but the sting has been taken out of it all. and you start finding notes and your favorite snacks left for you, or cute little trinkets that reminded him of you. (he doesn't have to sign his name for you to know they were from him.)
💌 he finds himself stopping before he hurls the sort of insults that would make you cry, opting for an annoyed eye roll or something else. practically no one except for you notices this switch.
💌 you still drive him absolutely crazy, but his plan A clearly wasn't working. he's gotta come up with something else, to clear his system of you... or to accept his clear obsession.
💌 its only a matter of time before he starts cornering you in empty hallways again, really.
nsfw below the cut
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It's late, possibly hours after the language arts building was shut down. You don't know– haven't been able to keep track of time for the last few hours at least. You can't keep track of much of anything anymore, not with Luka buried so deep inside you.
He's got you on top of a desk, legs spread wide to accommodate him, and you're barely holding on to him now. You moan and whine, limp and fucked out, and his cum is leaking out of you– but he doesn't stop. He can't.
"Feel so fucking good," he groans in your ear, hands tight and bruising on your hips as he keeps you steady for him. "Fuck, baby, I can't stop."
He hits that spot inside you, hips snapping into you with the fervor of a man possessed, and your head falls back, mouth hanging open. Your legs shake against him, calves pressing into his sides, and you cum for him.
"Sound so good," he mutters to you, nipping at your neck. "So good when you cum for me."
"Too much," you pant, aftershocks sending painful zings through your body, "'s too much-!"
Your hands push feebly at his shoulders and you wiggle, succeeding in getting about an inch away from him, but he doesn't let up. His hands tighten against your hips, and he pulls you closer, slamming you further down on his cock and savoring in the way you wail for him.
Tears prick your eyes, overwhelmed by the pleasure. Luka pulls away from your neck, looking up just in time to see the first tear fall down your red cheek.
"You can take it," he encourages, even as you shake your head and babble. He kisses your cheek, tasting the salty tear on his lips. "Give me another one."
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animeshotsh · 2 months
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Chains P2 | Yandere!Alastor x Overlord!Reader x Brother!Husk
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Notes: I havent seen the season finale so this may have OOC characters/events/ canon divergence in terms of time.
Warnings: Yandere!Alastor | mentions of blood, fight, violence, cursing | Mentions of Alastor eating habits | grammar mistakes |
Tags: @lorkai
Staying at the hotel has proved to be both, good and bad. Good, because you got to be with your brother everyday, feeling his soul so close made your mood improve a lot. When in the past you would be more cruel, angry and always hissing now you found a part of yourself you thought you had lost. Smiling and purring (the last only with Husk), its was a good Change. You also could see the good the Hotel was making in your Brother. Now sober and less grumpy towards others. Showing sings of trust and affection.
Now the bad, or terrible was that Alastor was always around.
Always.
His shadows could not mix with yours thanks to your power, but they would follow you and then tell Alastor where you were. And Alastor knowing how much you hated him would appear, calling you "sweet" nicknames that made you give him the death stare.
On Alastor part he was trhilled to have you so close and without having to do something for it. He never undertood why you cared for Husk so much but he took it for his advantage, he knew you would not try to pick up a fight with him because of your brother. And seeing you, your eyes showing just how much you wanted nothing more to destory him but could not made him feel things he was not sure what they were but the feeling was not an unpleasent one.
~☆~☆~☆~☆
Husk prepared himself an early drink only for it to be snached form his hands. A glass of milk now replacing it.
He shoot an annoyed look but still decided to drink the milk, he took notice of the fish sandwich you have made for him too.
Oh, you could be so sweet.
"You need Real food" you simply stated, crossing your arms "I can just smell how bad you have been taking care of yourself"
"Im fine, you dont have to worry" Husk dismissed. He did not want you to find out how truly fucked he had been.
"Oh~ I would not say that!! As your owner I had to stand your smell and poor hehaviour. Its nice to have a sweet sister to be around right?" Alastor spook towering over Husk them appearing besides you. "A sister who's soul its tainted but has such a good smell and so powerfull" Alastor was salivating by now "I wonder if you teast such as good as you look my Dear! No other overlord could compare to-" Alastor was stopped when a very pissed Husk trow the rest of the milk towards his face.
"Stop talking about my sister"
"Husk-"
"And what did you just do" The voice of Alastor changed, its shadow getting bigger. His eyes now a deep black with no emotion with his clawns being out and ready to attack Husk.
"I say, dont, talk, about, my, sister," Husk responded his love for you overcoming his fear of Alastor's power. He could crush his soul if he wanted.
In response Alasto's shadow started to grow, his teet got sharper, horns bigger as well as his claws and body. His eyes now a deep black with pupils like radio ones. A green chain appear, showing how Alastor owned Husk's soul.
"My, my, looks like I have left you be too free in here" Alastor sinister voice said pulling Husk towards him who tried to remain emotionless.
"Maybe I should show you what happens when you missbehave" Two claws went for Husk's left eyes ready to pull it out. "Maybe I should pull this thing out and eat it. Let you see how truly bad I can be" he half joked.
Before anything could happen Alastor was pushed hard away from Husk by you. Your own true Demon form now on display. You got bigger, your wings now with a sharp end as well as your tail, your eyes just like Alastor deep black with no pupil. You got two pointed horns as well. And your hands were now with black furr, red claws out.
"Dont fucking dare to hurt my brother" you roared sending off your poker cards to cut off the black tentacles Alastor had called.
He smirked, pulling out his shadows to try and get you down only for them to be vanish when a sudden fire erupet from your hands.
"My dear! This is New, I never know you could control fire!" Alastor said pretty much now into the battle with you forgetting Husk.
A wall was crashed as you two rolled outside the hotel, getting everybody's attention.
Alastor ended on top of you a tentacle firm around your neck, however one of your poker cards was against his neck. Just one move from any of you and both of you would be dead.
"WHAT IS THIS" A very Angry Charlie called, besides her Vaggie came looking just as angry.
Alastor smirked letting you got, going back to his usual form as you did as well.
"Ah Charlie! This was just a small fight between old Friends" Alastor said moving his hand to repair the wall.
"SMALL? You two broke a wall" Vaggie called getting just a smirk from Alastor and a blush from you.
"Im sorry, this wont happen again" you promised seeing Alastor from the corner of your eyes.
"It better not, or you are out" Vaggie finally called. In reality she would prefer for you to stay and Alastor to leave but she knew that saddly they needed the radio Demon in the hotel.
~☆~☆~☆~
As night fell you went to Alastor's room, knocking with Force the door opened revealing himself with a fake suprised look.
"(Y/N) I was not expecting you"
"Lets get to the Point. What can I give an no. Not my soul so you wont hurt my brother"
"Well, you need to know it was his fault" he started getting a hiss from you. "Can you blame me? He trow milk at me, my suit was ruined"
"We both know you were looking for a reaction out of him. Just tell me what you want"
Alastor seemed to think, you were proud and firm. Too proud to negotiate your soul. Even if you loved your brother you knew it would not change much. Sure, Husk would be free but how free? He could very much try and give his soul back to get yours out of Alastor's hand.
"Well, what I was saying was true. I wish to know if you teast as good as you look" he smirked taking your chin in his hand " you might have something to give me"
~☆~☆~☆~☆
Alastor stood in his room. Carefully drinking from a tea cup with a black liquid inside. Besides it a full bottle with the same liquid was.
He closed his eyes, feeling the flavor of your blood. If your blood was like this what would your flesh be like? Could he ever dream on getting a bite from you?
And why did he find the small fight against you so....he had no words. He felt alive full of something he could not understand.
Oh, he had to get your soul somehow. No matter how.
~☆~☆~☆~
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thecosmosdefys · 6 months
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hi how u doin?♥ would u do general relationship hcs for ghost and könig pls?? :)<3
What dating Ghost & König would be like
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Pairings: Ghost x GN ! Reader, König x GN ! Reader
Warnings: Violence, Cussing, Death
Synopsis: Just headcanons of how I would think Ghost or König would be in a relationship!
Author's Note: HIIII! Im doing good thank you so much for asking! Also I wasnt sure if you meant like? Ghost x König or like X reader headcanons so I went with what I thought you mightve meant? If this isn't what you wanted don't be afraid to put in another ask for my inbox!!! Also just want to note how excited I get when someone puts an ask in my inbox- I get so excited- It literally makes my day! Love you guys <333
Dating Ghost
I feel like if you dated ghost, at first he would seem a little cold around you? Like he wouldn't know what to do with emotional or physical intimacy. He doesn't give you the cold shoulder but he is so awkward at it at first.
Don't expect him to say I love you first, or even realises he loves you? Like before you guys start dating he is always around you, and picking to go on missions with you if your apart of the 114, but he doesn't seem to realize even though everyone around him does.
Once he starts getting comfortable with the relationship, he is like showing you off to everyone. You're like his prized trophy and he could not be happier. Like he's telling everyone all the time about you, and even your little accomplishments, god he loves you so much!
He will do things he doesn't want to do, if it means he gets to see a smile on your face? Like he hates christmas parties, but if you find yourself wanting to host one? He's already making a list of who's invited and what you might need. (He may even wear one of those ugly christmas sweaters for you but don't count on it.)
Physical intimacy? To him thats just even holding hands and it takes months for him to open up to you like that. But after he opens up, god hes all over you. In the mornings he's hugging you from behind. Never stops kissing you in public. He is disguting with his PDA, hes all over you all the time, and sometimes its cute and then other times your like "Simonnn stoppp" and he will... for 3 minuites-
He is so domestic when he is at home. If you need anything he is absolutely helping you. He will be your little apprentice when your cooking and everything. Sinks broken? He's fixing it. You are missing an ingredient for your food or baking stuff? He's on his way to the store to get it for you. You haven't been able to clean up the house? He's on his hands and knees scrubbing.
If you have a mental illness? He's helping in anyway he can. Even when he's away hes making sure your taking medicine if you're taking it, or reminding you about your therapist appointments. He is all over helping and doing his best to help make life easier for you even if just by a little bit.
Dating König
Literally what the fuck. He is the biggest god damn teddy bear you have ever seen. Out in public he is brooding and angry looking, but in private? He's on his knees doing anything you want him to do.
He is the biggest fan of soft touches. If you're out in public at the grocery store he's 100% rubbing his thumb over your knuckles, or just being sweet. He might brush your hair out of your face if it's in it or hindering your sight.
He will do your little routines and when I tell you it is hilarious to see this big beefy man, with a pink glittery face mask on his face, man its hilarious. When he's home he's doing your little haircare and facial care routines with you. He's oiling his hair, or putting face masks on, maybe even little cucumbers on his eyes. (of course you're taking pictures for blackmail.)
He remembers the little things about you. Sometimes when he comes back from missions he will have picked up something, or bought something that reminds him of you, or something you like. You had mentioned to him that you love forget-me-nots and you came home one day noy realizing he was home, and there was a bunch of pressed, perserved, forget-me-nots in a frame. (He ended up hugging you from behind and almost scaring you into dropping it a few seconds later but that's irrelevant)
He may not be super public about your relationship with him, but it is pretty obvious. When your out in public, he's behind you scaring the shit out of anyone who may bother you. You're his and he wants everyone to know that. Maybe you hang out with the crew one day and he has his arms slung around you, or wrapped around you in some way that screams "This is mine".
He may not actively always do things in the house, but he hovers around. He also loves to leave little things so that when he is gone you remember things that are important for you to do, he knows you have a bit of a bad memory.
Just like ghost, if you have a mental illness he is all for supporting and helping you. If you need someone to talk to he is holding you in his arms as you talk to him. He even makes sure your meds are always accessable to you, and helps in any way he can.
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tomieafterdark · 1 year
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hate fucking with Eren drabble..18+
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want more? I got you<3 here’s my masterlist
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pairing: Eren x fem!reader
cw: hate fucking, sex through the prison bars from that one season 4 scene, no prep but reader is wet enough by just seeing Erens drastic glow up, vaginal sex, ass slapping, choking, hair pulling.
a/n: I haven’t watched season 4 properly and that includes this scene so if something is missing you know why😭 anyways enjoy this drabble, I am having a writers block kinda so I am stuck on my requests and longer fics rip.
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Hange just came back up from asking Eren some questions, it seems she didn’t have much of a breakthrough though.
“He kept babbling on about fighting…” she said and sat down with the others. She looks disappointed as she continues explaining what else had happened.
You wanted to go down and check on Eren knowing damn well Eren despises you. Ever since you first met, you’ve had this weird energy of constantly competing or tearing each other down. Deep down inside maybe you were just looking for a way to let out your pent up anger and sadness, to tease Eren or full on argue with him. You just needed an outlet for your feelings…
As you get closer to his cell, he is still mumbling to himself about fighting. What a weirdo. And he is shirtless with a freaking manbun, you take a minute to stare at him not knowing he is aware, his body looks like it was carved by the gods themselves. As much as you despised Eren, you couldn’t help but admit he was so attractive right now, he has changed a lot.
“How long are you going to stand there and not talk, you know I am not deaf. I heard you walk down.” He says, his voice is husky and sends chills down your spine. You hadn’t seen Eren for a while, last time you saw him he was annoying and whiny and just cried a lot…this time he is different. You bite your bottom lip. His face was hotter too, that hairstyle looks like it was invented just for him.
“Whatever.” You say in a bratty tone, and walk closer to him.
He doesn’t care, he is just sitting on the edge of the bed now. He looks annoyed, as if he was doing something important earlier and had been interrupted.
You start to bother him on purpose, hoping for a reply. He must be equally desperate to let out his pent up emotions because he argues back. Suddenly you and Eren are full on arguing about god knows what because it doesn’t make sense to anyone but you two. It goes from petty things to you bursting into tears, asking Eren why he has changed so much and why he is hurting everyone he once cared about. Eren doesn’t take kindly to that last part, you don’t know it but you hit a sore spot inside of him.
He grabs you by the collar of your shirt through the bars, eyes full of hatred and rage with a hint of pain and regret if you look deeper. You don’t stop there, you’re so angry and upset you end up bringing his mom into it, and then the real hell breaks loose.
He yells at you to leave her out of it, you scream back about everything that’s wrong with his behaviour and plans and how she would never approve of this. You’re trying to reach the little humanity he had left in him but it’s not working, the tension between you becomes weirdly sexual at some point. He can’t deny the tension and neither can you, he may have neglected his humanity but that doesn’t mean it’s not there deep within him, screaming to be let out, to express its feelings. The very feelings he has been pushing down to work toward his goal, pushing everything else aside. With you being here, and the sexual tension already between you the grief and pain chooses to express itself sexually.
He turns you around, with little care for how it affects you or if it hurt. He is rough with you, even though there’s literal bars between you he doesn’t seem to care. He pulls you in close, you can feel his breath on your neck. You giggle in response to Eren’s rough manhandling. “Geez, I didn’t know you had this side to you. Last time we argued it just ended with you crying like a bitch!” You laugh.
He slaps your face really hard in return, causing you to moan a little. Something about his cold broken energy just made you so attracted to him, and the carelessness and manhandling only made you more weak in the legs. You had not planned for this sexual tension to arise with Eren. Sure, all your arguing earlier helped you release the anger you were wanting to express but the sexual side of you needed release too and Eren’s glow up alone had awakened it. You hadn’t had sex in so long, too much work and too little time for anything else left you neglecting your sexual needs a lot.
You arch your back and push your ass up against Eren, to your surprise you’re met with some hardness. “Arguing makes you hard? You really are a mess Eren Yeager” you say to him in a snarky tone and laugh.
“Shut the fuck up, aren’t you the one pushing your ass all up against me like a bitch in heat?” He says in a husky voice that sends shivers down your spine. You almost accidentally moan yes daddy in reply, this new Eren has your mind racing. You just smirk back at him. “I’ll fuck this sly smirk off your face bitch, when I’m done with your ass you’ll be crying begging me to stop.”
“Ooh I’m so scared. Face it Eren, you couldn’t last a minute.” You brag, hoping to get a rise out of him and get manhandled even more. Oh how you wish those stupid bars weren’t between you, so Eren could have his way with you.
He chokes you in return and pulls your pants and panties down, you’re so wet just from this alone. It’s good you are wet because Eren was so pissed off he would’ve bottomed out in you wether you were wet or not. Your eyes roll back as you’re gasping for air, he is choking a bit too hard. He gets closer to your ear as he continues choking and whispers “spread your legs more bitch.”
You’re so dizzy from being choked you accidentally reply back “yes daddy” out loud instead of in your head and spread them causing Eren to chuckle, he low-key likes it and even more when you said it in the state you were in. He shoves his entire length into you, it’s so big it hurts causing you to wake up from your dizzy state. He knows you’re struggling to take it, from the way your body tensed up to the way you’re almost pushing him out is telling but he keeps pushing it in making you take it all. Your moaning is starting to get a bit to loud, which has him hiss “quiet you whore. Do you really want them to find you like this? All wrapped up around my cock moaning like a slut?” He lets go of your throat and puts it over your mouth, your muffled moans are still loud but it’s better than before. He keeps thrusting at a merciless speed, your body finally stopped resisting his sheer force and you’re taking him. Limp legged, barely able to stand up and he just keeps going, you can feel it reach all the way up in your stomach. He grabs your hand and makes you feel it. “Feel it slut, that’s me re-arranging your tiny little guts.” You cry out in return, it’s making you lose it, it’s just too much. You just want to collapse here and now, but Eren pushes your hand down on the bulge his cock is making on your pretty stomach. Your reaction is gold to him. “What was it about me not lasting huh y/n?” He snarks and starts slapping your ass, not once or twice but so many times your cheeks turn red.
You squirt all over Eren’s cock, orgasming so hard your cunt is once again trying to push him out. Eren just buries himself deeper inside you, feeling every small movement your cunt makes in hopes of pushing him out. Your breathing is getting faster, with legs shaking. “Please Eren, pull out for a second it’s too much” you cry out with tears running down your pretty cheeks.
“Shut the fuck up and take this dick” is all he says and starts fucking you deeper. He puts you on all four, positioning you into a mean painful arch even though there’s bars between you. He somehow reaches deeper into you with the position you’re in and you’re leaking all over the cold cement floor from your eyes and cunt. Eren is brutal, you had enough ages ago but he keeps going. You are so overstimulated you try to crawl away but you’re met with more brutal manhandling, he pulls on your ponytail keeping you in place. “What’s wrong y/n? You can’t last longer?” He mocks.
You end up getting your absolute brains fucked out by Eren, at the same brutal pace for what feels like hours. When he is done, you’re a mess. He didn’t stop until your cunt was overstimulated, bruised and gaping. You hear the others come down to check on Eren, you quickly put your clothes on. You’re struggling to stand as they come over, you’re just standing against the wall with your legs threatening to collapse any minute.
thanks for reading I didn’t proof read so sorry for mistakes 😵‍💫
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kingconia · 8 months
Text
Leona Kingscholar & Malleus Draconia with S/O, who shares their insecurity.
Malleus Draconia. 💚
— He is quite observant, and he had some theories about what exactly makes you feel so familiar and warm before, but it took some events to happen for him to realise what it was;
— He wasn't really happy. He knows how hard it is, always to be left out and forgotten by people you want to call friends. And he hates that you experience that, too;
— Though, he is slightly blessed by possibility to be understood fully;
— Nevertheless, he starts to pay attention more;
— It kills him to watch how you are never invited to important events or celebration, and his heart is aching, when he notices how you are silently following Ace and Deuce, who speak loudly, hardly noticing how far you are behind them;
— He waits, though, for your next personal meeting, to confront you;
— “I am fine with that,” you cut him in the middle of his speech with a smile that doesn't reach your eyes. ”It has its perks, too.”
— He can't deny it, but he hates how accustomed to this thought you are;
— And since you helped him to overcome his loneliness, he is planning to do the same for you! So, buckle up, Malleus-comfort-Draconia is after you;
— He is gentle and he is gallant. He makes you feel special by acts of service, and by the way he treats you. And he treats you so well;
— Malleus remembers everything you talk about, even if you mentioned it for a second or less. He remembers what you eat and what you don't, always proudly ordering or brining you something;
— In days, when he is away, or for some reason can't talk with you, he leaves random notes around your room, or places you definitely will visit, during the day, so you could always feel that you are not forgotten;
— If both of you are not alone, and someone speaks over you, or he simply notices that you too quiet, he always turns to ask you questions, and get you involved again;
— In other words... He returns you your own kindness;
— And you are so grateful.
Leona Kingscholar. 🧡
— He is observant, too, but his emotional intelligence is... Really suffering. And you are putting a really impressive act, so, it takes him a whole breakdown from you to see that;
— It happens after some stupid exam that he—naturally—doesn't care about. But it is important for you, and you kinda rivaling for a best score with Azul, just like he always fights with Malleus, so he gets that;
— You fail, and it takes one phrase from Azul to send you on the edge;
— ”Isn't it time to get used of being always the second one, Y/n?”
— Even Leona flinches, hearing that—too close to home, am I right?—but you ignore Azul, so he thinks you are fine. You are not crying or anything, right?;
— And then, he finds you in the library, where he tries to take a nap, and you are restless;
— Your desk is filled with books, notes written all over, and you look absolutely tired. But in a moment you fail to do something correctly, you just... Scream? You trash all books on the floor, you tear all your writings down. You are so uncharacteristically raged and helpless that Leona doesn't even know what to say;
— He just stares at you, asking you are okay;
— Well, you are not;
— ”Okay?! How the fuck I am supposed to be okay, when no matter how hard I work, I am still not enough, Leona?! I am no one, and I have nothing, and I can't even prove that I am capable of anything! I can't even reach the top ot the class! And—”;
— Angry tears prickling your eyes, and Leona is so panicked, lmao;
— So, he just shoves you to his chest. You hit him, he hisses, but then you finally relax;
— He doesn't say much, because he understands that no good words are able to heal this kind of wound, especially so easily, so he takes in consideration everything he heard;
— Leona is really sad that you struggle with that, but he secretly loves it, too. It means you understand each other;
— He has his own ways to help you out. He tries to help you improve your skills, if he can help, of course;
— (And he beats the shit of Azul, and many others, who managed to say something offensive to you, but that is not the part you should hear about. Ever.)
— He knows how hard you work, so he constantly forces you to nap with him. If you don't want to sleep, that's fine. You are just going to lay down, under him, doing nothing, while he snores, curling around you;
— ...He kinda forces Ruggie to take care of you, too, lmao;
— And he calls you his Queen, so... You know How Much he actually respects you and amazed of what you do;
— Want it or not, Leona is going to make you love yourself. Just love him back. Please?
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zzenkha · 7 months
Note
HI HELLO HEY
Can I request angry confession w megumi fushiguro
THIS APP LACKS ANGRY CONFESSION SENARIOS AND I LIVE FOR THEM
ahem anyway you feel free to ignore this request and add any scenario
I AM JUST SO INLOVE WITH YOUR WRITING
thank you <3
✮ CARE FOR A REASON.
sypnosis. megumi cares for you, so why can't you see it?
content warnings. GN! reader , megumi being ooc (probably) , LOWERCASE INTENDED , NOT PROOFREAD (we die like soldiers 💪) reader is a little oblivious! , skipping on writing fight scenes bc i hate writing action LOLLL😭😭 .
wc. 1.5k
a/n. changed my layout to a much easier one bc my school is slowly opening back for face 2 face, it's ridonkculous 😒 also ilysm <33 so srry it took this long nwixmwop I HOPE I DELIVERED THIS NICELY.... 👩‍🦯👩‍🦯
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he doesn't care.
you've thought about that sometimes. whether megumi was actually your friend or was he befriending you out of pity?
you'd never know.
i mean, how could you? his face is as stoic and hard to break as a freaking boulder. you hated it. you hated how you couldn't read his emotions.
you could easily read others, even nanami's (sometimes- mostly you fail) for fucks sakes! but megumi? nope. can't even tell if he's happy or even sad.
he's like an emotionless person.
and you know that's not true. you've seen him buy gifts for yuji when it's his birthday, and begrudgingly holding nobara's shopping bags.
he's held your bags before, he's opened the door for you, he's washed the dishes for you and bought you stuff from a souvenir shop after his mission. megumi has done quite a lot of things for you!
so he's either not obvious or you're just stupid. (he doesn't mean it... I think)
megumi, on the other hand, has tried many times to tell (not literally) he's interested, but all attempts remained useless. he can't show emotions well so the boy gets a little frustrated sometimes.
he sees yuji easily talking to you and how he wears his heart on his sleeve, he watches how nobara is so open to you, how his sensei goofs around you and doesn't have his tensed shoulders on him.
megumi wants to be like that around you... but he can't.
not when his heart pounds so fast whenever he catches a glimpse of you.
when the teen had seen you walking into the gates of hell the school, he's never fallen in love quicker. he blinked twice and realised that you were smiling at him. oh gosh, why am i feeling like this?
he returned your sweet smile with an awkward smile of his own while waving at you shyly. he could hear his friends snicker behind him as they weren't used to seeing their dear stoic friend this flustered, thinking that he had just fallen in love.
he ignored the two immature teens, as megumi would call them, behind him because he knew it was true.
he just didn't know it back then.
you were sitting on a bench, waiting for your unknown partner to arrive for your mission to exorcise this funky looking curse. (according to your friend who had gotten severely injured whilst fighting it.)
sighing, you push the little information you had about the curse out of your mind for now. then you feel it. a pair of miniscule legs landing on top of your nose, your vision being obscured by shades of the colour of navy blue.
it reminded you of a certain someone.
a small smile formed on your lips as you felt your cheeks get a little hot. you've been feeling like this for the past few days and you didn't know why.
was it because you were sick?
or was it because of the person always in your mind?
you shake your head to get rid of those thoughts, affectively scaring the butterfly and it flying away. you pout as you stare at its retreating body.
you don't notice but he sees you. he's been standing there ever since the butterfly landed your pretty nose. (yalls nose be pretty ok.)
he chuckles lightly at the sight of you pouting at a butterfly. megumi approaches you with light steps, his face returning to the usual stoic one. you don't see him till his uniform appears into your view, raising your head you expected to see someone else. not him.
eyes slightly widened at his tall figure, you forgot how tall he actually is... he finally speaks up. "let's get going before the sun sets." your words were caught in a twisted knot, so you just nodded and got up.
megumi walked ahead and you trailed behind him. putting your trust in him to guide you wherever you're supposed to go; you didn't receive much information as you were put into this last minute.
he liked it when you relied on him. though, he would rather die than admit that.
the walk was silent. all that could be heard were shoes moving across the ageing cement pavement. kicking random rocks that were in you way as a way to cure the awkward tension. (plus your boredom.)
you were subtly glancing at megumi's side profile the entire walk. his jaw was perfectly sculpted, not so sharp but not too round either- oh god, what were you thinking about?
while in your little haze, megumi's eyes glanced at you and widened. to be frank, he was glancing at you from time to time as well. he was hoping to the gods out there that you wouldn't notice.
snapping out of your daze, you lightly gasped then let out a shriek. you tripped on a rock and almost fell. emphasis on almost.
dear megumi, realised you were about to fall and quickly wrapped his strong arms around your waist, securing you onto his chest. glancing up, your e/c eyes locked onto his navy ones.
both of you were feeling hot. incredibly so, and it was late november.
when suddenly a loud strangled cry (definitely not by a human) was heard a few feet from the both of you. megumi's eyes widened as he pushed you towards a bush: his right arm getting slashed deeply by one of the attacks that was meant for you.
you wished that you could stand up and leave this dilapidated house in ruins as your body was gushing an unbelievable amount of blood from your injuries. walk to the person who rescued you from the filthy curse. fucking hell, literally.
ignoring your body's protests to rest, you slowly stood up and limped your way outside. you could see megumi pacing around the area in hopes to find you, and when his gaze landed onto your bruised-self (not like he's any better), he rushes over to you.
"are you okay? nevermind, you're clearly not. let's j-just get you out of here, ijichi's gonna come soon okay? just.. hang in there for a seco-" he stops rambling as you hit his chest, tears threatening to spill at any second.
hes speechless. hes never seen you like this except...when he surprised you on your birthday.
"w-why do you.. always have to be there for me? i-i'm never there for y-you, rarely! why did you push me out of the way, you could've j-just let me take the hit!", you stammer out, trembling as you do so.
megumi starts, "it's because i... i care for you, alright? i've been caring ever.. since you came through the gates of the school. fuck, i'll always care for y-" "but why do you care for me?.." he gets cut off.
he starts to feel a little frustrated. no, not now... not when she's right in front of me like this.
the teen lightly scoffs, "why? why do i care for you?" you nod your head rapidly, regretting it as your vision becomes blurry and a headache comes along. his calloused hands cradle your head gently as you regain your senses.
you look back at him, soft eyes pleading for an answer. oh why must you give me those eyes now? he loves those eyes of yours, could just stare at them for eternity-
"I've always cared for you because..." megumi trails off his words, afraid of what's next to come. if you reject him, he'll feel like shit in the car while you both sit next to each other for the next 15 minutes.
"-umi! megumi!"
his eyes slightly widened at your face being closer, fuck he can't handle this.
you were so confused on why megumi had just left you on a cliffhanger. in all honesty, you were hoping that he feels the same way as you.
"earth to megumi?!!" you wave your not-so-injured hand in front of his face.
you hear him mumble a small fuck it.
megumi starts, his voice slowly getting more intense as he continues on, "i've always cared for you. why? because i LOVE you! do you get it? i love you, yn. and you've never seem to see it.
i do things for you, i-i do everything for you. all for it to end up in the drain because you're so naive... but i cant help but still love you."
you're silent. and he hates it.
his mind is going overboard and then he feels it. a pair of soft hands cupping his bruised cheeks, "gumi.. i-i didnt know. but i love you too. i always have."
megumi doesn't know how to feel: all except the sudden urge to kiss the lips that uttered the same words as him. he leans in close, till your noses are touching.
you lean in to seal your mouths, soft lips moving slowly. unfortunately, oxygen is needed so you both pull apart, two teens panting lightly. the both of you smile and giggles are filled in the once-tensed air. and then you rethink..
he does care.
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© zzenkha . . . 2022 ,, do not repost, plagiarise, translate any of my works.
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urdrowning · 1 year
Text
reconcile / l. williamson
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AN i apologise for the quality. i am very much hungover as i write this. and idc if its mid february let me use this christmas gif my girl is ADORABLE my god i need to be in leah williamson’s arms RN
requested? - yes
word count - 2.5k (i’m proud of that)
—————
sarina had finally announced the england squad for the AC cup. you were elated to see you’re name listed. having recently recovered from a broken ankle, you were barely getting playtime. it’s as if nobody believes you’re truly fully healed, especially with jonas keeping you as pretty much a permanent bench warmer. knowing that sarina trusts you and you’re abilities is like a wash of relief and you’re over the moon. you assumed leah, your girlfriend, would be celebrating with you, as she’s repeatedly campaigned for your wellness and ability. but now it feels like it’s all been a lie.
you were out visiting your best friend, alex scott when you found out, she unsuccessfully attempts to lift you up in a hug of congratulations due to her shorter stature. you thank her before you realise that you have to go home and tell your girlfriend (even though she already knows, she’s on the same squad. but she’d pretend to act shocked for you anyway) excitement rushes through you as you practically ran to your car and sped home (which may result in a speeding ticket, but who cares, you’re gonna be playing for england).
rushing into your shared flat with a giant smile on your face to tell your lover the news, you’re greeted with a frown on her face before she utters
“you can’t do it y/n, you’re not ready.”
the smile drops from your face and it makes leah’s stomach twist with guilt, but she refuses to let it show and remains staring at you with a stern gaze.
“you.. i- what?”
you spluttered in shock. where did this come from? for several weeks she’s been by your side, fighting for you to get playtime.
“you can’t do it. you’re not ready to play in a tournament like this yet.”
your pride seems to shrink as you begin to fill with anger. how could she? all of her support and for what? just to belittle you and your abilities?
“are.. are you serious right now, leah?”
you hated this. you’re not a fan of conflict in general, but with your girlfriend? a nightmare. the thought of her being angry with you making your world feel as if it’s shattering.
but the anger that courses through you almost crushes the dread you feel, you’re justified in this argument, she isn’t.
“dead serious. you need to call up sarina and tell her you can’t compete. you’re not ready and sarina should’ve realised that”
she sighs. she hates this as much as you do. she hates to be the reason you’re upset, but she is adamant in her opinion.
“why? why, leah, am i not ready? because i have been working my ass off for weeks and you know this!”
you’re raising your voice, making her wince slightly, it goes unnoticed by you due to your unbridled anger and she scoffs at your lack of empathy as she snaps at you
“because you’re not capable enough! there’s a reason you haven’t been getting playtime you know, it's because you’re not trusted, y/n! you’ll slip on your ass and injure yourself again, you’ll put the whole fucking team in jeopardy, and i’m not ready to lose because of you being a loose end.”
word after word is like a stab in the gut. hearing it from a normal teammate? painful. but hearing it from your girlfriend? agonising.
“oh.”
you try to hide how your voice is raw with emotion, but you know it’s a futile attempt. she hears it anyway. she reaches out for you slightly.
“y/n..”
you move away from her touch, cold and distant. you don’t look at her, your gaze fixated on the floor. you know that one look in her blue eyes and you’re gonna break.
“don’t. just.. don’t.”
your voice shakes as you move away. you can’t be here right now. you can’t be around leah.
so, what do you do? you grab your car keys, turn towards the door and leave. leah doesn’t move. she doesn’t try to stop you. she’s dug her grave, she may as well lay in it.
you sit in your car for at least 6 minutes before you start the engine. tears fall from your eyes and warm your face. it feels as if your heart has been ripped out of your chest, you feel as if you’ve been stabbed in the back. out of all the people to doubt you, leah? the person you love most? why did it have to be her.
you wipe the tears off of you, take a deep breathe and drive. you don’t know where you’re headed, all you know is that you need to be away from leah.
why you ended up at alex’s house once again is beyond you. but here you are, sat on your bestfriends sofa, crying in her arms.
“i’m sorry, y/n. she’s being an absolute dickhead. you’re more than capable and she should know that better than anyone.”
she holds you tightly as she rants. vehemently disagreeing with leah, defending you so passionately. it’s as if she retired from playing as a defender in football to become your own personal defender instead.
“i appreciate it al but in all honesty i’d rather forget about it. i’m tired, i just wanna scream into a pillow for the rest of the night.”
she laughs lightly as she releases you from her tight grip, nodding at you.
“you know where the spare room is. stay as long as you need, okay? love you”
she truly means it, and although it’s not what you need, the small statement makes you feel a bit better.
“thank you, al, love you too. night.”
she squeezes your arm lightly, mumbles goodnight and leaves you to your own devices. you sniffle slightly and head for alex’s spare room. which has practically become your bedroom with the amount of times you’ve stayed here.
the minute you walk in you can do nothing but collapse on the bed, the past few hours have been a whirlwind of emotions and it’s drained you of any energy you possessed. you glance at your phone to check the time, only to be greeted by your lock screen, a photo of you and leah. she’s hugging you from behind, kissing your cheek as you close your eyes, smiling. you groan at the image as it causes more tears to spring to your eyes, you attempt to block the photo with your hand as you check the time to see that it’s only 5:54 pm. you sigh and contemplate your options.
you could either, stay in the room, look at photos of leah, cry and binge watch pitch perfect. or, you could simply just sleep and pretend that today’s fight never even happened.
you choose the latter, as the crushing weight of reality is too much to deal with.
so maybe sleeping it off wasn’t the best idea you’ve had.
after about 5 minutes of you forcing your eyes shut, and trying to force your mind to be calm. you realised that you can’t sleep without leah’s presence which then causes you to get emotional again at just the thought of her (you’re a little unstable there babes, but it’s okay, we don’t blame you!)
you text alex, asking her to come hold you again. you can hear the thumps of her footsteps before she opens the door and slides onto the bed
“i’m sorry about this.”
she smacks you playfully. opens her arms for you. you slot yourself into her arms and sigh. it’s nice, but it isn’t leah.
“don’t apologise, y/n. you’re my bestfriend. i’m here for you.”
you murmur a thank you as your eyes grow heavy. the emotional exhaustion mixed with the comfort of you’re best friends touch sends you into a deep sleep.
——————
you wake up to raised voices, the sounds making your newfound headache 10x as painful.
memories of the previous day flood your mind as you sit up in bed, you feel better after having rested, but still, the memory of the fight and what was said crushes on you.
shaking your head to clear yourself of your thoughts, you try to listen in to the voices from outside your door.
“i don’t trust that you won’t snap on her again though”
that’s alex, she has a protective tone to her voice
“i won’t. just, please. let me speak to her.”
you’d recognise that voice anywhere. anxiety fills you as you realise that she’s hunted you down. of course she has. you ran out on her. she’s probably come to end things with you officially.
you hear alex sigh.
“.. fine. but if you upset her, you’re out.”
of course she managed to find you. of course you would go to alex’s house. leah knows you better than you know yourself. she’s your other half, and now you’re about to lose that. it’s crazy that even after all the horrendous things she said to you yesterday, you’re sat here in anxiety about HER leaving YOU. god, the grip this woman has on you is insane.
a knock on the door ceases your inner monologue.
“come in.”
you cringe at the sound of your voice. the hoarseness of it is not at all pleasant.
the door starts to open and you see her shadow before you see her. your mind goes to overdrive. this is it, the end of the best 4 years of your life. she steps in the room and she’s holding something behind her back, you close your eyes, not wanting to see the box of your things she’s most likely collected. you’re not ready for this to be over, not willing to accept your reality. with a sigh, you open your eyes slowly to see that instead of a box, she’s holding.. flowers?
“for you.”
she looks shy. you look confused. if the tension from yesterdays argument wasn’t there, you’d have both laughed at each others faces. but instead you glance at the flowers in her hand. red and yellow tulips, your favourite.
you take them from her, clutching them tightly, you whisper a thank you.
“leah, what are you doing here-“
she cuts you off, talking quickly.
“i need to talk to you, will you hear me out? please, just listen to me.”
you nod, gesturing for her to continue. you won’t talk, you’ll let her say what she needs to say. you’re not in the wrong here, she is.
“y/n, i- .. i’m so sorry. i love you, i love you so so much and i am so sorry. you have every right in the world to be angry with me, i mean shit, i’m angry with myself. i can’t believe i let my emotions take control of me, i don’t think you’re a burden. you’re everything to me.”
she’s nervous as she speaks, stammering and playing with her fingers. it reminds you of when she first asked you on a date, over 4 years ago, she was shaking with nerves.
your voice is small when you speak, taking her words into account but also remembering the cause of the argument itself.
“so why did you say those things leah? why don’t you think i’m good enough to play?”
she frowns and shakes her head, her eyes are looking at your hands, clutching the flowers she’d given you tightly.
“i should never have said anything like that. you’re more than capable of playing, i mean hell, you’re incredible. i was just being selfish.”
she’s determined. she’s got a mission in her mind, and leah’s too competitive to give up on her mission. she’s not going to stop trying to earn your forgiveness.
“selfish?”
you’re even more confused. you can’t begin to understand.
“yeah, selfish. y/n, you mean the world to me. i love you more than i love anything. when you first broke your ankle during the match against chelsea and i saw you get carried off on that stretcher.. it was awful. seeing you in pain, it scared me so much. i know you’re healed now, but i’m scared, i don’t want you to get hurt again. i cant stand seeing you in pain and suffering.”
you sit there and process what she’s told you. taking in all the information, her fear of your health.
“my god leah, you need to learn how to be straightforward.”
you laugh at her. you need to teach her how to communicate better. she lets out a laugh. you’re not sure whether it’s because of your joke or if it’s out of pure relief, but the sight of her smile is enough for you to not question it.
“maybe i do.”
she smiles at you, still standing infront of the bed, looking at you. suddenly aware of how awkwardly she’s been stood there, you roll your eyes at her as you reach over to grab the hem of her shirt.
“get over here, idiot.”
you don’t have to tell her twice, she gets into the bed and melts into your arms. she buries her face on your chest as her arms wrap around your middle. you rest your head on the top of her own, gently stroking her back as you lay together. a contented sigh leaves her.
“i was so nervous. i was worried you’d not want to ever see me again.”
you smile slightly, both glad to know that you weren’t alone in your worries and glad that she values you so greatly, that she fears the thought of not having you in her life.
“not a chance, we’ve got too many plans together. i can’t really become y/n williamson on my own, can i?”
leah lifts her head from your chest as she moves her hand to cup your cheek. she gazes at you with an enamoured look in her eyes.
“i adore you, y/n.”
she leans in and your lips meet. kissing leah is unreal, her lips fit against your own perfectly, and almost every kiss with her is as special as your first. she pours so much passion into the kiss, as if she’s trying to portray how much love she has for you through it. you move a hand to her hair as the kiss deepens. you’re both in a world of bliss until a sock smacks the side of both your faces.
“oh no, you are NOT doing this in my house!”
alex stands in the doorway, hands on her hips looking like a very disgusted mother.
“ugh, alex! what’s wrong with you!”
you groan, your face flushed with embarrassment as you bury it in leah’s shoulder. leah laughs at you, her face flushed with both embarrassment of being caught and excitement of being with you.
“come on y/n, let’s go home, yeah? i’ve got some more presents for you back in our flat.”
she gets up and offers her hand towards you, you take it, smiling.
“gladly.”
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eustasskidagenda · 5 months
Note
hello im so excited that your ask box is open and youre taking requests! i dont request things often, so this might be a but of a weird concept, and i apologize if its too detailed. however the idea literally wont leave me alone. orz;;
maybe eustass kid has a crush on a somewhat reserved reader whose slow to open up and he hasnt quite realized thats what hes feeling until they stop on an island and meet readers childhood friend. they show a whole new side of themself with said friend by laughing openly, making stupid jokes, being much more physically affectionate. basically reader acts close with an old friend and kid gets jealous about it.
i dont mind if you do a oneshot, drabble, or headcanon, im just curious about your thoughts on this :3 thank you so much and i hope you have a great day!
Hello dear anon! Sure, I'm always happy to write for my pookie. It was fun to write, and it makes me smile a bit because Kid is such a mess, I love this angry tulip. Hope it will match your expectations. ☆
☆Kid with a s/o slow to open up
CW : g/n reader, a bit of cursing but fluff overall
WC : 700
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Kid has always been loud. Whenever he's angry, he needs to shoot at someone. What can he say? His heart is filled with emotions, boiling and exploding like a thousand sparks. That's why you're a mystery. Always calm. Not letting others know what's on your mind. What makes you so quiet? He can't tell. 
Just like the moon and the sun, you are polar opposites. And yet, as the sun always chases the moon, he's always looking after you. And he's everything, but not discreet. Asking loudly for almost all of his crew what they think about you and why you are so reserved. 
Sure, he's used to introverted folks. Killer is one of them. But here's the difference: he can second-guess every word, thought, and breath of his best friend. He could probably achieve all of his sentences. And even through the mask, Kid could also guess the exact expression on Killer's face. 
Killer, who is likely aware that Kid has a small crush on you.
Kid is genuinely frustrated. Loudly frustrated, obviously. He needs to feel in control of everything and hates when he doesn’t have a full-understanding. Usually, he fails to notice reserved people because he's taking all the attention. But there's something about you: your slight smiles, the flash in your eyes, the way you're always listening to others but never talk about yourself. He can't tell why, but it keeps his mind alert. 
Perhaps you pose a bit of a challenge. Kid would never give two flying fucks about you if you were easy to see through. He's always looking after you because you're still a mystery. Sure, at the beginning, it was just to try to figure out who you really are. But now, it turned into something bigger. He hasn't noticed it yet, that’s all. Kid sucks with feelings. Feelings are actually something he hates because they make him feel weak. It puts his loved one in danger. Showing your weaknesses to enemies is a foolish move, Kid knows that perfectly.
However, everything is about to change. He decided to stop on that island for the day. For the first time, you asked to avoid robbery or harming anyone around. 
"Ugh, we're pirates, y/n" Kid doesn't want to look like a nice guy. He's a tough, rude pirate. He has a reputation to uphold. For him, the only good way to open a path is by violent means. Kindness? For what? If he's still alive today, it's because he toughened up and decided to never show mercy to anyone. 
"Fine, fine, I won't kill those people." Heavy sighs. But he wants to understand. He needs to understand. And finally, he's about to understand. 
Because suddenly, you're smiling heartily and running towards those scumbag strangers. What. The. Fuck. It's like seeing the sun after an eternity of blizzards and grey clouds. You're a bright light, a true sunshine. A burst of joy. You're joking, laughing, talking, and talking a lot. You never said more than two sentences in front of him, and now you're chatting endlessly with those strangers and hugging all of them. 
He's pissed off. Are those random people with terrible sense of style and ugly make-up better than him? The great Eustass "Captain" Kid? No way. 
"Guys, here's my captain, Kid. Kid, here are my childhood best friends."
Kid's face is a mess of angry scowls and boiling with frustration when they say hello. Why aren't you smiling as warmly when you're with him? Why is his heart pounding so hard, almost painfully in his chest? And damn, is it the cold or are his cheeks completely red? 
Poor Kid is both flushed and flustered. His first reflex is always exploding when he feels something. "Do you have a problem with me?" Barking through gritted teeth. 
He's ruining the happy-shitty mood and he doesn't care. 
So now, try to explain that you don't have a problem with him. Good luck, he's very stubborn. But once he's more or less calmed (because he's still pissed off), he still can't understand why his heart is racing at the sight of your soft, warm smile.
He wants to see that side of you more often. He wants to be part of those privileged people allowed to know the real you.
Yes, maybe he has a crush on you.
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archie-sunshine · 2 months
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speaking of wanting to cause rodimus distress and discomfort... do you have any thoughts on getarod?
yES! I! DO!
Okay so first off i want to preface this with I am a toxic yaoi enjoyer, i am not glamorizing or glorifying toxic or unhealthy relationships.
HOWEVER.
getarod is sexy. and getarod is toxic. and getarod is VERY fun.
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All of these takes are under the pretense of them having a rocky, toxic, but mutually beneficial situationship in which rodimus is in it for sex and getaway is in it for perceived power.
Rodimus wants to get fragged, Getaway wants to take Rodimus down a peg. In my mind Getaway has a horrifically bad sadistic streak, and Rodimus is a masochist(he has to be out of survival because he fucks up all the goddamn time), and while Getaway WANTS to actually kill rodimus, he's willing to settle for humiliating him and 'gathering blackmail'
Sadly. Getaway is the one who accidentally gets some uncomfortable feelings in the mix. Because hate is a very strong emotion. And getaway HATES rodimus SO MUCH it makes him crazy. It stops being a matter of 'i'm gonna humiliate rodimus for fun' it becomes a matter of 'IT IS A FUCKING IMPERATIVE THAT I CRUSH THIS MAN INTO THE DIRT' which starts feeling strangely like Getaway kinda likes having sex with rodimus without ulterior motives, and so he HATES HIM EVEN HARDER.
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Rodimus, on the other hand, is basically playing chicken with getaway. in his mind, he's just in it for sex, and is annoyed that he keeps ending up as the bottom during the aforementioned sex, and even more annoyed at how much freak shit getaway is into. because rodimus SHOULDNT be into that. but he is. and its getaway that's getting him into that. which is infuriating.
I think they're into almost all of the same things, but Getaway goes to further extremes than Rodimus. and rodimus has too much pride to tap out. and thus, game of sex chicken. Rodimus won't tap out, Getaway won't stop fucking with him, it is a race to the bottom that inevitably always ends a little something like this.
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and then they don't talk to each other for a week. and then it's the wee hours of the morning again, and they're both awake, and they just can't help themselves >:]
So yeah! TLDR: rodimus and getaway are playing gay chicken but for sadomasochistic mutually beneficial hatesex, getaway is way more invested in the whole deal. it makes him really fucking angry though.
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azsazz · 2 months
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Little off topic but which sjm character do you think is best in bed?
Hm, this is a great question but also a very difficult one because i think that each character can be so different...
apparently i've decided to make a comprehensive list of all of their sex lives so enjoy lol. it's long as fuck. I tried to put them in order of personally who i think would be the best to the "worst" (this is just my opinion its cool if your roster differs):
i'm getting the vibes that rowan might be the most well rounded in a bedroom scenario. he can definitely be dominating if you've had a busy day and just need to be fucked. he can manhandle you into any position he wants, whisper filthy things in your ear while he fucks you deep. you're a sopping wet mess for him, cunt clenching and back arched when he commands you to cum. like i can't picture, say, dorian or chaol doing this kind of thing...personally. but i also think he's so sweet that he would be the aftercare king. there's also instances where i can see him being so kind and gentle, or if you're wanting to give him a ride or try something new, he's the best person for that.
az is also high up on the list because obviously. i think he can both be dominating and gentle, adventurous and soft. he knows exactly what you need when you need it, not because he's so attuned to your bond, but also because of his shadows. you're having a bad day? let him fuck it out of you. you're angry? he'll let you tear his skin with your nails, bite him, ride him to expel all of that negative energy on his cock. then you'll be all pliant and soft again while he cradles you to his chest. feel like you're two seconds from bursting into tears? he'll go nice and slow, wiping the tears that escape your eyes while you're overwhelmed with emotions and stuffed full with his cock.he knows your limits and he might tease that line sometimes, but he wouldn't ever cross it because your safety comes first.
let's see...sex with cassian is always a good time. he's so confident that it makes you squirm. and he's not afraid to try new places. you won't even make it to your room at the end of the date, cassian's pressing you up against the foyer wall and lifting your skirt to shove his cock into you because you've been teasing him all night with that fucking dress. i think he's so confident that he'll let you do anything, try anything. you want to peg him? he's already on his knees for you. you want to add a third? he's already calling out to azriel or nesta or anyone who has your attention. you're not afraid to tell him anything, ask him anything in regards to the bedroom because he's that caring.
rhysand, well, we all know what he's all about. they don't call him high lord for nothing. and those fuckin mind powers can drive you nuts, though, i know rhysand doesn't like to use them all of the time, because he's worried if he does it too much it will skew your reality and memories, and fuck, he needs you to remember the way he's fucking into you the way you're screaming for him. he often allows you into his own head, to share what he's feeling. it's almost like you know what it feels like to be dipping your hot cock into your own cunt, and down that open a realm of possibilities in the bedroom. also, that silver tongue we know so well does an excellent job against your clit, whispering encouraging words as you reach your crest. rhys has moves that no other character has and that puts him pretty high on the list.
eris i think can be a really soft lover that can fucking go for days. he's addicted to you in every meaning of the word. he could eat you out all night, fuck you until you're a weeping mess for him. but he hates seeing you cry, yet that raw feeling deep down in his chest has him torn, because he never wants to stop. he's soft because no one has ever been soft on him, except you. on the other hand, eris has a temper. we know this. when he's in a mood, he will not hesitate to go rough on you, bending you over his desk, the war plans covered by your body as he fucks you and fucks you hard. had a run in with his father that put him in a shit mood? he's taking it out on your pussy. had to go meet with the night court and cassain made a snarky comment that hit a little too close to home? he's fucking you so hard you don't have the breath to question why he's in such a mood.
lorcan my hate-fucking king. he's grumpy as fuck, knows what he wants. gives me major ghost vibes (iykyk). he'll take what he wants from you whenever he wants but he won't leave you without a few orgasms yourself. he's not as vocal, grunting and using his large hands to move you how he likes, guide your hips while you're riding his cock, a palm flat across your back that he presses into to make you arch for him more. gods, the way he fucking manhandles you because who can compare to this mans sheer size? he's hung as fuck, and he spends a lot of time stretching your cunt for him. it's not often that he forgets, but if he does it feels like you're being split in fucking half on his cock. you may have suffered some internal bleeding somewhere down the line because he went a little too hard with a little less prep than you were used to.
ruhn is another confident male who knows exactly what he's doing in bed. he's a player, cocky, arrogant, thinks he has you wrapped around his little finger but it's quite the opposite. he's the one that's had to chase you, and oh wow, was that fun. when you finally reach the point where he can show you what he's got, there's no going back. he's all over you from that point on. you're walking across town? he's right next to you. you're at one of his parties and didn't tell him you were coming? well, you little tease, he's just going to have to punish you for that, pulling you into a closet or bathroom for a quickie even though his bedroom is literally right upstairs. he's always got his hands on you, ready to spread your legs and feat or dunk his cock into you like some horny teenager whenever he wants. he's always hard for you.
lucien is hard for me to figure out, and i'm not really sure where he'd fall on the list because i don't think i have his personality down. i love that he would be so sarcastic and snarky, making little quips to both annoy you and turn you on. he's knows what he's doing, letting those long fingers brush across your exposed skin. he's teasing you the entire way through it; a brush of a knuckle against your swollen clit, a tease of his tongue in the same manner. just the head of his cock resting at the very opening of your cunt, hot and needy for you. it's torture for him too, but to see you squirming like this, gods, he'll hold off his own orgasm for ages to see you like this.
aedion i bet would be killer in bed. he gives me lucien vibes a bit, with the sexy comments that brush across your skin like his skilled tongue. i feel like he's really open with his sex life, not in the sense where he's telling everyone what noises you make in bed or how when he lifts your leg at a certain angle, you scream so much louder for him, but he makes it clear when he's hungry for you. at dinner, he openly looks at you through lowered, lazy lids. the lust oozes from him and everyone at the table knows that he's going to be taking you back to his bed as soon as that last bite leaves your plate.
hunt is just a good man. kinda makes me want to cry a little bit. he's definitely a giver, isn't worried at all about himself until he's thoroughly taken care of you. uses his wings to his advantage, letting the soft feathers brush across your hard nipples. his hands are strong, calloused from wars, but the way that they're gentle, scraping across your skin has you in a frenzy. i know hunt has the best thighs (besides cassian), and his ass is amazing too.
fenrys. my mans. he loves anything wild and free, so i have the feeling that sex with him would be much the same. i think that he's been through some horrible things, torturous things, so he'd never tease you to the point of tears, because that's just not him. sex with fen is fun, easygoing. you don't have to think hard about anything because it's naturally good.
dorian i gotta say is not super high on my list either. for the phantom hands alone he'd be a great lay. it might be a little overwhelming, but they definitely come in handy (haha). i can see him being a little arrogant, though he sees it as confidence. he's a prince, gets what he wants when he wants and that's no different with you. oh, how he loves how obedient you are for him, those pretty lips wrapped around his cock while he lies back, watching you with those sapphire eyes. but when you're really in a mood not to listen, gods, it makes him harder than a rock. when you're being a little bratty, he loves fucking that out of you until you're clinging to him again, begging him to let you cum.
tharion im not too sure about either. i like how funny he seems to be, and he also seems really open about his sexual prowess. i think he knows his way around a pussy and a cock, he's open to trying anything. he also seems like a giver...like i can picture you down by the marina hiding between boats, your ass perched precariously on the edge of the dock while he eats you out from the water. anyone can see, but tharion is just that convincing, needing to taste you right then or there, not caring that he could easily drag you down into the waters below. he likes the thought of someone finding you like this, all whiny and messy from his tongue.
chaol's probably further down the list. he is a man of order, he follows the rules to a t. you know what you're getting when you take him to bed, but that doesn't mean it isn't good sex. that's why you've chosen him. he knows what he's doing, and although he might not be as adventurous as some of the other characters, he knows his way around your body so that you're never dissatisfied.
ithan...i'm sorry, i just really can't picture him that well. i know that i wrote a breeding kink for him but the entire time i was like "this isn't him this isn't him." i can't help but to think of ithan as like a 19 year old lol (ik, he's 22). i don't think it would be awkward sex, but i do think that he has the potential to be a soft lover. he gives me the vibes of cocky college students but sweet on his girl.
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ornii · 10 months
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Hi so i had this idea for a while. When your free can you do like a Jenna ortega x Male Reader where the reader is basically Michael Jackson?
Oh..The Wicked Games We Play
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This got so much Darker than I wanted it to be, so I just sort of ran with it lmao. I was listening to Wicked Games by The Weeknd and it just sort of flows out. And I consider The Weeknd definitely on Par with MJ in this current music Landscape, so I’ll try and go for that.
Fame, Fortune, the lifestyle normal people dream for, is really a nightmare you eventually never wake up from. That was the case with you. The lavish cars, men and women screaming your name as you stood before them, like a god amongst men. You truly felt, untouchable. That’s how all those wiry fame feel, that they’re invincible, that human emotions don’t matter to them now, nothing matters. The stage was set for another concert, you had a final performance before the end of the tour, and like the scary perfectionist you are, you put 200% effort into all of it. Rehearsals, vocal performances, workouts, everything to push the human body to its limits. There was only one person that got inbetween all of this.
Jenna.
It wasn’t on purpose of course, it wasn’t her fault her natural beauty, amazingly perfekt personality and allure caught your eye so often, the way she watched so intently during your rehearsals, the concern she would show when you began to slow down, lose balance, look a bit, disheveled from lack of sleep. She loved you, but she was slowly starting to resent what you became and she hoped this tour will be the last for a while, with her workings schedule and the performances you put on on a weekly basis, it’s amazing you two have time for anything. While the premiere Wednesday was stellar, you unfortunately couldn’t make it due to being halfway across the country, but you watched, called, texted and constantly showed your support, regardless of presence or not.
But one thing, one small occurrence showed you an unfortunate side of popularity, watching the cameras flash of Jenna, and Percy, who played Xavier, the way he seemed so, calm around her, his natural they seemed together. While it irked you, you couldn’t be angry at costars being well, Co-Stars. Ready to put the subject down, you watched as his hand wrapped around her shoulder, her smile, his, and that gnawing feeling sank back into your heart, jealousy. And In that fit, you extend the tour another two weeks, and pushed yourself to take the world over, she’ll have to notice you then.
You stopped responding to her text so much, simple one worded answers, short calls, barely getting any sleep, work, work, work. Focus, confidence in yourself, that’s what you needed. And it all came to a final push during the last night of the tour, backstage you sat down in the room, trying to think straight as the sleep deprivation and exhaustion took its tole, looking in the mirror you saw the bags under your eyes, the weary look in them, and in the reflection of the mirror, you watched the door open, and Jenna was there, she looked worried, having to fly all the way out here, just for this.
“(Y/n).” She said in a slightly upset tone, she folded her arms as you kept staring at the mirror.
“Why haven’t you been talking to me?” She asks.
“I have—“ you attempt to reply, but she isn’t buying your obvious bullshit.
“Stop lying, you aren’t like this, what’s wrong? Talk to me.” She approaches your chair, and your anger slowly began to rise up, letting it boil.
“Why? Why don’t you just go talk to Percy, you two seem close.” You say, not out of Hate, but misguided feelings, She stood in her tracks and was in disbelief.
“That’s what this is about?” she said, and you stood up to turn around.
“What else would it be? Jenna I can barely get to hold you sometimes and he gets to put his fucking arm around you?”
“That’s, I don’t know why he did that, but you know we just work together. You know that’s true, why are you so angry?”
“You always told me that we try to keep it friendly with everyone we work with so shit like this doesn’t happen and the media doesn’t run with it!”
“What am I supposed to do? Shove him away? What do you want from me? You’re mad because I didn’t scream at him?!”
“Because I—“ you start, but stop and shake your head, you saw the hurt in her eyes, and it didn’t make you feel better as you thought it would.
“I love you… but I can’t be around you right now.” You said, and Jenna took a deep breath walked back to the door, you wanted to say something, anything, but nothing you said would fix this. The performance was less than ten minutes and you had all of this baggage, you took the rest to try and sort it all out, and began the performance. Darkness enveloped the stage, and red lights, like a highway began to go along the stage and one appeared before you in the middle, the crowd exploded with cheers and love, but it all felt so.. hallow. Because the one person you wanted there left in a fit of rage because of you, but as the veterans of music would tell you, the show must go on. The music bellows and you step out under the red in the classic Red Wine suit bladed, black slacks and button up shirt and gloves, with your eyes hidden behind the glasses, your voice took over the world at that moment, as Blinding Lights roared though the stadium.
“I've been tryna call, I've been on my own for long enough, Maybe you can show me how to love, maybe
“I'm going through withdrawals / You don't even have to do too much / You can turn me on with just a touch, baby!~
“I look around and / Sin City's cold and empty (oh!) / No one's around to judge me (oh!) I can't see clearly when you're gone!
“I said, ooh, I'm blinded by the lights / No, I can't sleep until I feel your touch / I said, ooh, I'm drowning in the night / Oh, when I'm like this, you're the one I trust
(Hey!, hey!, hey!)
Song after song, Wicked Games, StarBoy, Earned It, the crowd drinking in the roar of your voice, the sound, as the music downs out and it’s all black, you pull out your phone and make a single text to the DJ.
“Change of Plans, Die for you.” He says, and as the crowd prepares for the final song, you walk up to the mic stand and grab it, and nod. Your eyes look desperately out to the crowd, as if to yell for him but, no one can hear, and you look forward, only hoping she’s watching from somewhere.
“This is for you Jenna. Love you and, I’m sorry.” You utter in the mic, missions of “Awws” echo but you ignore them and continue as the song begins.
“I'm findin' ways to articulate the feelin' I'm goin' through, I just can't say I don't love you..
'Cause I love you, yeah
“It's hard for me to communicate the thoughts that I hold But tonight, I'm gon' let you know
Let me tell the truth Baby, let me tell the truth, yeah!~
“You know what I'm thinkin', see it in your eyes!You hate that you want me, hate it when you cry, You're scared to be lonely, 'specially in the night, I'm scared that I'll miss you, happens every time, I don't want this feelin', I can't afford love I try to find a reason to pull us apart
It ain't workin', 'cause you're perfect, and I know that you're worth it!
I can't walk away, oh!!~
Even though we're goin' through it And it makes you feel alone Just know that I would die for you! Baby, I would die for you, yeah!~
“The distance and the time between us It'll never change my mind 'Cause baby, I would die for you Baby, I would die for you, yeah!~
“I'm findin' ways to manipulate the feelin' you're goin' through, But, baby girl, I'm not blamin' you Just don't blame me, too, yeah 'Cause I can't take this pain forever And you won't find no one that's better 'Cause I'm right for you, babe I think I'm right for you, babe!~
“You know what I'm thinkin', see it in your eyes You hate that you want me, hate it when you cry It ain't workin', 'cause you're perfect, and I know that you're worth it! I can't walk away, oh!
“Even though we're goin' through it!And it makes you feel alone, Just know that I would die for you! Baby, I would die for you, yeah!~”
“The distance and the time between us It'll never change my mind ‘Cause baby, I would die for you, uh Baby, I would die for you, yeah
“I would die for you, I would lie for you, Keep it real with you, I would kill for you, My baby
I'm just sayin', yeah, I would die for you, I would lie for you, Keep it real with you, I would kill for you, My baby
“Na-na-na, na-na-na, na-na, ooooooooh~”
“Even though we're goin' through it!And it makes you feel alone Just know that I would die for you Baby, I would die for you, yeah
“The distance and the time between us It'll never change my mind 'Cause baby, I would die for you Baby, I would die for you, yeah…”
As the music drowns out, after spending so much energy, your legs began to gave out, the heat of the lights, the deafening crowd, it all was too much for your body, and you toppled down, the last thing you saw before the darkness were the red lights flashing black.
Your eyes began to flutter awake, resting on something, soft and warm, but it slowly began to return to focus as you saw Jenna, she looks down at you. You were backstage, resting on her legs on the couch.
“You’re a fucking idiot you know that?” She said, you opened your mouth to speak.
“Shut up, you haven’t eaten, slept? This is why I wanted you to stop, you can’t keep doing this.”
“Jenna—“
“No, save your strength, I get you were upset and I’m sorry.”
“I’m.. sorry too..” you murmur, and she kept that cute angry pout that she did on Wednesday, but it slowly crumbled down as she placed her hand on your chest. Feeling your heartbeat.
“Let’s just… take the month off, Wednesday stopped production and season two is a while away, and I think you’re doing touring.. right?”
“Well—“
“That was a rhetorical question.” She replied, annoyed, you take her advice and just go along with her, you raised your hand and placed it on hers, holding it. All that fake and fortune means nothing without the love of your life, her hand near your heart.
I Suppose fame and fortune have their Wicked Games to play on those who chads it.
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humdinky · 4 months
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i love pixar's turning red. it is such a good representation of girls at that age. they don't shy away from depicting the awkward and weird parts. it is so rare to see a movie depict girls and their silly interests without condemning or judging them. they just let the girls be girly, noisy, and silly.
fuck the hate this movie got on its release. i could go on for hours about society's uniquely shitty attitude towards teenage girls and their interests. there are countless examples. remember the feverish hate for twilight, a series aimed exclusively at young women? what about the hunger games? teenage girls were the first ones to fall in love with elvis and the beatles, and critics treated them like a joke. that is, until adult men started liking them. funny how that works. justin bieber fans, one direction fans, vsco girls, girly girls, tomboys, emo girls, indie girls, bookworms. you will see every single type of girl being made fun of for every conceivable interest a human being can have.
at a certain age you feel forced to make an arbitrary choice. lean into your feminine side and continue to get mocked for 'being shallow', 'only caring about your looks', 'being annoying' etc. or lean into your masculine side and get called a pick-me or told that you just want to get with their guy friends. you like things that are popular? you’re basic. you like things that aren’t as popular? you’re trying too hard. it is the entire reason why so many girls internalize this misogyny, why they start saying things like "im not like other girls."
i certainly wasn't immune to that trap. i didn’t fit the mold and got ostracized for it. the only validation i received for the longest time was from boys, when i turned my anger back on girls and girlhood. i was sold that narrative so many times that i wore it like some sort of badge of honor. it took years to unlearn. i feel sad when i look back on my younger self. i was so sad, so angry, and so scared all the time.
we get insulted for being happy. we get insulted for being sad. we get insulted for being mad that we were insulted for being sad. we get insulted for trying to forget what happened and act happy again. we get insulted for feeling hopeless. they beat the confidence out of you very early.
and it angers me how the emotions of teenagers as a whole are so often neglected. when you're around that age and grappling with big emotions, you've quite literally never felt anything that strongly before. a failed test, a best friend's betrayal, being cut from a sports team. it all feels like a rejection of your entire person, your entire being. you haven't lived that many years yet, and it's the first time you've felt this horrible. you don't have anything to compare it to, and it feels like nobody else could have ever survived feeling this bad before.
it's not petty teenage drama. it's not immaturity. it is a normal human reaction to the worst pain you've experienced, and it is happening at a time when your body is going haywire and your feelings feel impossible to control. you don't know how to cope with it, you can't possibly know, because it's the first time you've had this bottomless well of pain tearing you up inside. you can't look back at previous times you've felt this way to reassure yourself that it will be okay eventually. the first time is the worst and hardest and you have no resources to get through it yet.
a lot of adults scoff at and dismiss the feelings of teenagers. "you're young, you'll get over it"' they've decided that because you haven't dealt with this feeling before that you must be overreacting. sometimes you are, and sometimes you're reacting exactly how any adult would. it's an absolutely shitty thing to express to anyone. a teenage girl's pain is not any less real than a 50 year old's pain. so what if it will get better? it doesn't matter that it isn't going to be the worst thing that ever happens; it matters that right now it very much is the worst thing that's happened.
yes, teenagers overreact over a lot of things that aren't as important as they feel. as if adults, who don't even have the excuse of inexperience with deep emotions, don't? no one should ever dismiss someone else's pain regardless of their age or circumstances.
​im turning 20 in a few months. find the small joys of life, and don’t you dare let anyone take them away from you. if there is a teenage girl reading this, i love you, i am sorry, and it does get better.
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aristia-pjoheadcanons · 5 months
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can i request hcs of jasón w a fem reader who gets easily jealous? maybe he left her behind at camp jupiter when hera took him. he’s not dating piper, but she doesn’t know that. ty!
He comes home
pairing: Jason Grace x female!reader
warnings: none
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author's note: Let me just say that if my man was talking came back with a girl next to him and he was almost acting normal, I would rip my hair out.
The reader would be seething, clenched teeth, hot cheeks, and everything.
He disappears out of nowhere, which you probably understood wasn’t his fault. You’ve been there from the very start since he came to Camp J. He had fully booked appointments with quests, no wonder he was gone one day: but you realized that it wasn’t the same. You felt this anxiety pooling in your chest, you knew this wasn’t the normal disappearance.
When he arrives with his so called “crew” you didn’t like either Piper or Annabeth. But you knew Annabeth wasn’t someone that would do anything, since she was Percys.
But even so, the thought of Jason settling down with others for six-fucking-months, made you want to absolutely go ballistic.
But you knew deep-down that he didn’t do it on his own, it was the same situation as Percy – it was against his will, and he had lost his memories.
But does he remember you?
That thought washed away when you saw the way he was acting stand-of-ish when he saw Reyna. So, he does remember, he remembers you.
It gave you some relief. But how were you going to make up for the time he was gone?
Based on the ever-so-serious facial expression on his face, the quest was not over. Not even close. You wanted to sigh and almost act immature about it, but it would do you no good.
Maybe even the reader would do impulsive things just tog et his attention. Jason is very analytical with his feelings, to the point where he rationalizes them – so he wouldn’t react much after the first time, its almost like he shuts off his emotions just to protect himself.
But he would have to take the convo private and talk to !reader, to get a clearer understanding of the situation but also your feelings present.
He wants you to be the feeler in the relationship. While he is the cool-headed one, he can’t let himself get too caught up in his feelings – so when you express yourself hate, love, happiness he feels good. He feels safe to know that there is someone there to express and project my feelings for me. You are not just a person to him, but something essential for him to feel human, a person that isn’t just a tool or a weapon for the Gods.
He would definitely understand your point of view and make it very clear that he did not leave on purpose and that he is not in any romantic or close relationship with any girls. He got some of his memories back, but part is still left out. Even so, he would try his best to explain that his feelings are still very real but if you want to break things off, he will let you.
The last statement might cause an argument, because why would you want to leave him? No, you’re angry because he left, and you spent months without knowing if he was really safe.
One hour later, Jason is holding your hand when he introduces you to the rest of his crew. You’re happier but can’t help but feel needy in a way.
Jason would let you hold his hand and put an arm around you, but he gets distracted and ends up moving away from you just to talk a little about the next step for their quests.
In order for your relationship with him to work, you will need to agree to let him go when he wants or needs; also, be comfortable with him being around others for long periods of time.
But Jason would know of your jealousies already and would know the perfect way to make you feel better: spending time together and some wholehearted apologies.
Lets say he didnt come back, you would go on a search for him and maybe even treathen a couple of minor gods just to find him.
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