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#i hate growing up
special-mooon · 5 months
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It’s my birthday today which means it’s time to get spoiled by every game I play ☝️😌
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Except for genshin they’re like my greedy relative 💀
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Like they could have at least given me 10 pulls for the standard banner 😭😭😭
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imtheswanqueen666 · 7 months
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why couldn’t i stay sixteen forever ?
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charliethinks · 6 months
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i miss my old school. i miss my old teachers. i miss my friends.
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planetwaynez · 2 years
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I need comfort and they only person capable to give me that right now is Jason Todd.
So here it goes, me projecting things into him again.
TW: angst, reader argues with their parents and have a lot of insufficient thoughts.
Jason Todd x F!Reader
Comfort me:
Jason walked into the living room of your apartment and instantly felt something wrong. There was something off.
And as usual he was right. After a few seconds, your cry was heard in the entire apartment. Rushing to your room, a lot of scenarios played in his mind. You being hurt. You being kidnapped. You being tortured because of him. There was a lot, really, but none of them was right.
You were crying because you are daddy's and mommy's little princess and hates to argue with them. To disappoint them. It seems silly, but it was always something that bothered you, that made your little world shatter and break.
But Jason did not know about that, not yet at least. So when he burst into the room, it was with two guns ready to take down whomever was hurting you. That only scares you and makes you cry even louder. Automatically, he drops them in the floor and runs over to you, who is sitting in your bed with a pillow tightly pressed against your chest.
The first thing he does is to gently touch your hair, bringing you back to reality. The crying doesn't stop. You are sobbing and your cheeks and neck are wet with tears of anger and sadness. Your eyes are red and puffy and you can't actually see him fully. But you can feel him, and that's enough to make you fall into his chest and cry louder and louder, more hurt than ever.
His arms are instantly around you, pulling you close and caressing your back and your hair. Your hole body shakes and he is beyond worried about you. Jason is dying to ask you what happened but he gives you space, he let's you pull all out of you.
"It's ok. It's fine. Whatever happened, you will be ok again, sweetheart." He says, his voice low and gentle. Jason looks at you wondering what made you so out of yourself.
Generally you are a very collected, calm and strategic person. You never give up. And it's not everything that can make you balance on your feet. So this scene is totally new to him. Generally he is the one crying in your arms after a argument with Bruce or after a nightmare. But not today, his sweetheart needed him the most right now and Jason would do anything for you.
"I hate myself. I hate being an adult and I hate disappointing them." You say, voice low and weak, like if you talked louder it would make you lose control.
"What do you mean, sweetheart?" Jason asks, not understanding the situation.
You take a deep breath and stopped crying. You pull a way from him slowly and just enough to look at him. Blue eyes staring at you with worry and openness to talk and process anything that you needed. He had a slight frown between his eyebrows and a little pout in his lips.
"I hate disappointing my parents, Jason. I feel like I am never going to be the daughter they wanted me to be. I feel like that lately I am not their priority anymore and when I ask for help or a little of attention I am being annoying. That I am being a child in the body of a adult." You say, still with a low voice, hipcupping a little.
"Sweetheart, I understand what you mean. I wished things were like before too. Like when I was still twelve." Jason says softly, eyes so pure and intense that makes you want to cry again. It's the fact that he understands.
He doesn't backlash you, judge you or tell you to suck it up. You cry again, softly this time.
"I know it's hard to meet expectations. But sometimes we put the expectations thinking that this way things will be easier." He keeps saying, and you nod, understanding what he means.
"They never settled expectations to me. I putted expectations to myself. I wanted to be the best all the time." You say. "But it's hard not feeling this way when you are the youngest, when your siblings started to live their lives independently younger than you. It feels..." You can't finish your thought process, because a loud sob rips through you.
"I know" he says, truly knowing what you mean. Jason thinks like that too, even though he is the second oldest. He will always try to meet Dick's standards, even if it was never asked for him to.
"I feel like they don't understand me anymore. I feel like I am not their little girl anymore and it's hurting like hell. I just wanted to be seen by them again and not be pushed aside." You say, hugging him closer to you.
"But why do you feel like that?" He asks, twisting a piece of your hair in his point finger.
"Because they don't pay attention to my needs anymore, and I know I am a full grown adult but they still do everything possible to my siblings." Sometimes you even wonder if they are like that with you because you don't have kids yet.
"What they do to your siblings, love?" You take a deep breath again and try to not sound jealous or petty.
"They help with my nephews and my niece. They help economic wise and when my siblings need, they listen to their issues. I wonder if we had kids they wold start to pay attention to me again." You voice your thoughts, shrinking yourself because you feel pathetic.
"Maybe your siblings need help. Maybe they think you need space. Or maybe they think you don't need them." You negatively shake your head to the last one.
"They don't think I don't need them. They think I need them too much, my mom say it today."
Jason clicks his tongue. He adores your mom, but sometimes she can be way too judgemental or harsh in her words.
"Now why would she say that?" He asks, his voice slightly annoyed.
"Because I need help with some legal things about my old college and I wanted her help, we argued over that. She doesn't have time for me, but it's been a month of me asking for help with that." You explain, playing wit your fingers, tiny tears running down your cheeks.
"My dad got envolved when we started yelling at each other things that were bottle up. He yelled at me and told me that if I kept my attitude you wouldn't stay." Now Jason was angry. How dare his father-in-law assume he would ever leave you because you demanded attention and help?
"I would never leave you. I know you are high maintenance but so I am. I am even more than you and you never once told you would leave because of that." Jason says, bringing you into his lap. You rest your head in his shoulder.
"I know. But he doesn't know that, so he just assumed things. Anyways we said a lot of bad things to each other. A lot of yelling and even some insults from both parts. I hate myself for that but I hate them even more." Your hands are tightly wrapped around his shoulders, trying to ground yourself.
"Why do you hate yourself and why do you hate them?" He asks, pretending that your nails aren't hurting his shoulders.
"I hate myself because I lost control and I think I've lost their love, respect and support. I hate them for finally showing their humans flaws, for not staying into that child and yearly teens glow." You tell him, not having tears to cry anymore, only a feeling of emptiness and angry in your chest.
Jason hums, rocking you side to side in a comforting way.
"I think that you are only angry, my love. " He tells you, and you nod, knowing that his probably right.
"I don't want to talk about it anymore." Jason only picks you up and lay you down in the bed, cuddling you closer to him.
You inhale his scent. Gunpowder, cologne, cigarettes and coffee. It calms you down, making your chest grow with tenderness and love and you relax.
You let Jason lullaby you to sleep, his deep voice near your ear and his breath against your cheeks and neck. You let yourself fall into dreamland.
And Jason watches you, thinking about all the ways his going to comfort you after you wake up. He plans on cooking your favorite food, putting in your favorite movie or favorite Taylor Swift album, making a good warm bath for you, his gorgeous soulmate. God, he even plans in letting you cry more even if it hurts him seeing you cry.
Slowly he drift into sleep, one arm around your waist and one around your shoulders, with one of your legs resting on his hips. He knows it's going to be difficult to take you out of your angry state. He knows it's going to be hard to make you stop to demand too much of yourself.
But Jason will try, because he loves you and wants your best.
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waterfall13 · 6 months
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wdym my childhood ended years ago and im no longer eight playing with my friends when school was over
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inrainorshine · 2 years
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are you really 19 if you havent sobbed on your bedroom floor to dont throw out my legos by ajr
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chronic-skeptic · 5 months
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i remember when i was little me and my family let off those lanterns into the sky and it truly fulfilled my tangled dream.
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kingproblem · 6 months
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the kid to adult pipeline is out of control
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coffeeadict61 · 7 months
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I hate being the youngest sibling!
I have to watch everyone leave.
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sleepless-crows · 8 months
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i feel like my cousin has been such a huge part of my childhood, we spent every day together when we were children in our grandmother's house where she used to live then and my parents used to drop me by because they had to go to work. and now she's leaving this month and i would be able to count the number of times i see her for the rest of my life after she does because it can't even be once a year and it feels like the scene in a movie where the character leaves their childhood and i am not ready for that and i don't want that and i thought i already had that moment way long ago but she's the biggest part of my childhood and i feel like i'm losing a whole part of me
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sola-nater · 9 months
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i want to be back home. home as in the game of manhunt played between the cars parked in front my house at night, home as in the parties that lasted until 1 in the morning, home as in the mafia game that took place in your basement stocked with gym equipment, home as in making slime in secret in your bathroom, home as in hide-and-go-seek tag where all the good spots were always the same places, home as in playing house and still being the older sister, home as in the innocence of not knowing why my dad had to ask you guys to invite me.
perhaps it was never home, and perhaps i still miss it.
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hazyremainsofamemory · 9 months
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wow,,, coming back on Tumblr only to change my description from 22y/o to 24y/o 😭😭
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charliethinks · 7 months
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first day of school was ok. i miss my old school and friends. i’m gonna cry.
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killmygoldenn · 2 years
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happy birthday to me <3
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ukaaku · 2 years
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Grownups : "welcome to our world, you must working hard for living"
Me : (find a job, and working hard af as they said)
The best thing for having a job is being busy and tired, so i don't have time to overthinking and don't have energy to be sad.
The bad thing about it that i must living in this capitalist society. Being treat like a trash by trashy people. Must always keep lower my head & faking a smile.
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orphia-sucks · 2 years
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nostalgia, how bitter sweet
maybe i’m too caught up in the past,
on what once was and the way things were,
the way you were.
maybe i should move on,
i’ve grown since then
and things have changed.
but i miss it,
i miss you,
and i miss the person you used to be.
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