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#i had to do a lot of work to be socialised to live with other people when i moved down here lol

callme-holly · 1 month

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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 - I got a little carried away with this so I apologise if it doesn't make too much sense. Hope ya'll enjoy and as always my asks are still open for requests!!

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 - 1.4k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 - none!!

Darry Curtis -

Darry doesn't strike me as the most sociable person ever. He very much keep to himself, unlike you, and would rather sit in a quiet place as opposed to a loud and busy one.

That's not to say he doesn't get out at all.

Before his parent's deaths, I think he used to go out quite a bit, but now the majority of his time is taken up with work and looking after his brothers, and he just can't find the time.

That was until he met you.

Having someone like you in his life means he’s going to be getting out and talking to new people a whole lot more.

He’s also very patient with you. He’s lived with Sodapop basically his whole life, so he’s used to having someone around who can be a little over the top and excitable.

Sometimes your outgoingness can get on his nerves, and he’ll become a little snappy.

He doesn’t mean to, of course, but after a day of working and yelling at Ponyboy, he wants nothing other than to relax, and having someone talk 1000 miles an hour at him is not going to get him the rest he needs.

If you’re particularly excitable and restless, he’ll pull you into his lap just to get you to calm down for a moment.

Sodapop Curtis -

You two are literally perfect together.

You bounce off of each other and Soda loves having someone just as outgoing and hyper as himself.

You both drive the rest of the gang insane with your optimism and constant chatter.

Speaking of which, you could talk for hours. Some nights you both lay on the roof of the DX and just talk.

There’s never a dull moment. If one of you is upset, you best believe the other is doing everything in their will to cheer them up.

You both go to parties whenever you can.

Ponyboy loves you because of how similar you and Soda are. If he’s got a problem, he’ll definitely tell you about it. He trusts you and your gentle yet outgoing demeanour is just familiar to him.

You and Soda both seek the same amount of attention and are able to provide it to each other. This of course means cuddling 24/7, but who’s complaining?

Ponyboy Curtis -

Pony is a little more reserved than his brothers. He’s not shy and quiet by any means, not at all, but he just doesn’t open up to many people.

Due to you and Soda being so similar though, he really trusts you and he feels comfortable around you.

Your optimistic and upbeat attitude is something he really needs sometimes.

If he’s had an argument with Darry, he’ll come to you for comfort. You’ll always find the positives in the situation and will just talk to him about anything and everything until he feels better.

Ponyboy isn’t a huge fan of large crowds and he makes this known to you.

He much prefers sitting at home or in a place that’s got a sense of calmness about it, so if you’re out and about and the place is busy, you best believe he’s holding your hand to stop you from running off.

He can get a little frustrated with you at times but not as much as Darry.

If he wants to relax, he’s more than happy to just sit down with a book and let you do your own thing until you’re ready to join him.

Johnny Cade -

Johnny is more quiet than the other greasers. He can stand up for himself, no worries, and he isn’t too shy when it comes to socialising (he’s literally friends with Dallas ya’ll), but he isn’t as comfortable with large crowds as you are.

Having someone optimistic and excitable in his life is probably something he needs. He’s got a lot of shit going on and being able to go to someone who will just comfort him and listen to him without judgement is exactly what he needs.

You literally brighten up his day, it sounds so cringe, but it’s true.

At first, he was reluctant to open up to you.

You were very talkative and spontaneous and he wasn’t so he didn’t think you’d like him very much. But once he realised how big of an idiot he was being, you quickly became one of his favourite people to talk to.

You always find the positives in things and there’s literally never a dull moment when he’s around you.

If you drag him somewhere that’s a little out of his comfort zone and a little too busy for his liking, he’ll stick by your side and won’t let you out of his sight.

He’s so patient with you and will let you drag him wherever you want to go. If he’s tired, he’ll let you know and you’re more than happy to head home and call it a day.

Dallas Winston -

Dallas with an extroverted partner could either be a really good thing or a really bad thing.

He himself is a very socially confident guy. He is not afraid of making his presence known and I think he’d thrive with someone so similar to him.

You two would be causing trouble left, right, and centre.

You’re always going to parties at Buck’s and this is where our first problem arises.

Now, Dally can get pretty damn jealous, it’s just in his nature, and with you being so outgoing and talkative, you tend to talk to quite a few people at these parties.

If you’re talking to someone who is getting way too comfortable around you, you best believe Dallas is swooping in real fast to put a stop to your conversation.

He will come up behind you and cause a scene until either the “threat” leaves or he gets kicked out.

Does this please you? No. Does he care? Also no.

I feel like your excitable behaviour would frustrate him sometimes. Dallas isn’t the most patient and if you’re getting up in his face or talking too much he will snap at you.

Sometimes he will just sit with you in his lap and listen to you talk. He won’t be 100% focused on what you’re saying, but he just likes to see you smile as you explain things to him.

Occasionally he’ll have to rein you in a little bit. If you two are in a crowded place he’s got an arm around you at all times and will not let you out of his sight at all.

Steve Randle -

Steve strikes me as a very loud and shouty person.

He constantly wants to be heard and enjoys being the centre of attention for a while so having someone like you really brings out that side of him.

You would constantly be hanging out with him and Soda at the DX causing chaos and just having the time of your lives.

He will sit and listen to you talk whilst he works on cars.

I don’t think he ever really hung out with people other than the gang until he met you.

You dragged him out of his comfort zone and introduced him to new people. Sure, he may not like them too much, but he’ll tolerate them for you.

You two will sometimes go to the odd party. It’s not something you do on a daily basis, unlike Dally, but it’s just nice to get away and enjoy things for a little while.

Most of the time, he’ll let you do the talking whilst he keeps an arm around you.

He just likes watching you socialise as long as you’re not talking to the wrong people.

Two-bit Mathews -

There is only one word to describe yours and Two-bit’s relationship. Chaos. Complete and utter chaos.

You bounce off of each other and thrive on the attention you receive.

You both talk so much, it drives the gang insane. Like you both never shut up. Once Darry had to separate you both just to get some peace and quiet.

You’re both so optimistic that it's sickening.

You’re almost always out at parties or causing trouble. Very rarely will there be calm moments in your relationship.

You will stay up into the early hours of the morning drinking, cuddling, and talking about anything and everything.

Literally never ever a dull moment between you two, you’re just so upbeat.

𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬!!

#the outsiders #the outsiders x reader #the outsiders imagine #the outsiders headcanons #darry curtis x reader #sodapop curtis x reader #ponyboy curtis x reader #johnny cade x reader #dallas winston x reader #steve randle x reader #two bit x reader #darry curtis #dallas winston #johnny cade #ponyboy curtis #sodapop curtis #steve randle #two bit mathews #dally winston

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writinginthetwilight · 4 months

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It started on the stairs. Part 2.

Eddie Munson x Awkward!Neighbour!Reader.

Chapter warnings: again not a lot, fluff, fem reader, awkwardness, social anxiety, readers a little bit of a mess. But aren't we all?

Author note: Thank you for all the love on the first part, there will be one more coming tomorrow or Christmas day.

Part 1 Part 3. Masterlist

You meet again two days later, leaving in your usual state of disarray for coffee with a friend whom you'd cancelled on one too many times. You tug the sundress down around you, two years old, a little snug and threadbear but all your other summer clothes needed to be washed so it would have to do.

He was walking in as you were walking out

His unruly hair was now tamed by a low bun, a makeshift motor head tank cut low under his arms, tattooed ribs exposed and headphones planted firmly over his ears.

It made your mouth run dry.

Singing softly to himself he hadn't looked at you yet, if you can just slip past without being noticed.

He glances up and there's a beat before recognition has him grinning at you all dimples and teeth and fuck, that smile.

He silently holds up the two bags you had given him now full of food as he nears you and you smile dopely at him giving him a double thumbs up as he passes, cringing as soon as he's gone.

You drown your sorrows in lattes and bagels as you retell the whole situation to your friend, she assures you it really didn't sound that bad. But the interaction still haunts you for the rest of the day and you fantasise that you'd said something quick and witty that made him blush, instead of acting like an enthusiastic parent on the sidelines at a little league game.

Why am I like this?

But as weeks went on it became almost routine, your schedules meaning you were both leaving or coming home at similar times a few days a week, and the conversations got easier as you picked up fragments of each other's lives.

He's from Indiana. Works as a mechanic. This is the first time he has left the state. He has appalling taste in breakfast cereal, but good taste in music. He throws his head back when he laughs. He has a really nice neck.

Then he just started calling on you on his way out. Just stood at your door in a faded black hoody, curls poking out under a beanie, looking ridiculously adorable, like it was nothing. He knew you were at work today so why not, around a week later he starts making coffee for you, just the way you'd mentioned you liked it the day before. So obviously you had started buying pastries from the bakery he told you about a few streets over.

You wake a little early those mornings, put a little extra effort into your morning routine than you usually would and find yourself, more than you would like to admit, ready early and waiting anxiously for him to arrive. Counting to five after he knocks before opening the door, in a lacklustre attempt to preserve some dignity.

But it was fun, and every time you squeezed your eyes shut when something came out wrong or laughed too hard at your own joke he would only look at you with those stupid big eyes and bump your shoulder or laugh harder. He made it feel okay and helped you settle back into the now instead of inside your head. All the way until you would part at the end of the street and off to your respective lives.

As leaves fall you relish in the change of season, the summer heat always meaning the obligation to be out and socialising was ever-present. But as the nights drew in it was your introverted time to shine, nestled down with multitudes of throws and knitwear, dove into books and hobbies that had been neglected and by Halloween, you had set up camp.

A near perfect yearly routine, which has you sitting in soft clothes, a bowl of Halloween candy in your lap and a joint freshly extinguished. Feeling every muscle in your body tense and relax as you stretch your sock clad feet up onto the coffee table and hum contently. Ready to fall asleep before you've even made it halfway through the stack of various horror movies you have accumulated over the years.

It was ambient and quiet the sound of the TV at a low murmur and the candles you'd lit flicker and dance over the walls as you watched the screen, mindlessly stuffing candy into you're mouth. You can see Micheal Myers hovering in the doorway behind Jamie Lee Curtis, the music reaching a crescendo when there's a quick knock at the door.

You almost throw the bowl of candy halfway across your apartment and sit bolt upright staring bewildered at it.

Picking up your snacks you wait for a moment before the knocking comes again and you slowly rise apprehensively walking towards it and looking through the spy hole.

Eddie stands shifting from foot to foot fiddling with his rings and your stomach almost falls out your ass. You spin, searching around for nothing in particular in a dazed panic before peering through and looking again to see him leaving.

You were swinging the door open before your mind could object

“Hey.” you try to act cool, casual and he turns eyeing you for a moment before a shit eating grin spreads on his face, arms crossing and eyes squinting.

“Do we get many trick-or-treaters?”

You look down at the bowl of candy and back at him.

“Occasionally.” You lie, a grand total of four people ever having knocked on your door and all were well past an appropriate age. “What do you need Eddie?

His face slackens, arms falling by his sides as you stare at him “Uh I.-”

Your eyes drift over his shoulder to your neighbour Sue in all her purple rinse glory shuffling down the hall and the realisation of the very distinct smell of weed that was likely drifting out your open door has you grabbing him by his arm.

“Want to come in?”

He laughs on a breath and it makes your heart stutter stopping just short of the threshold. “Unless you have somewhere to be?”

“Yeah, no. I mean, yeah I'll come in”

You all but push him through following behind and quickly bolting the door. You lean against it for a moment and walk down the short entranceway to find him standing further into the living room.

Deep shadows and candlelight run over him and you can't help but stare. He looks like a dream you've tried to remember after waking. Like you'll blink and he'll be gone.

“Cosy," he nods, looking to you, face soft.

You look around broken from your revere at the sight of your cluttered home. “Yeah, sorry it's a bit of a mess.” you try and wander as inconspicuously as possible to the pile of clothes at the the entranceway to your bedroom, ugly off-white underwear still on the top from where you'd freed yourself of their constraints earlier.

He snorts "You should see mine.” he smiles as he eyes the knick-knacks and frames that line your shelves walking over to inspect them and you hurl the dirty clothes into your room.

He turns as the door clicks closed and there's a pause, your brains too locked in on how you even got yourself in this situation to come up with any words and on any other occasion you might have tried to tidy away and tone down the evidence of yourself that surrounds you but he's already here.

"Movie night?" He says pushing his hands into his pockets and pressing his lips into a thin smile.

“Yeah, kind of a tradition." He nods looking over at the TV still playing and the lack of conversation is making your brain itch.

"I'm sorry for like, making you come in and shoving you in the door, Sue was coming and well the smell.” your limbs are heavy as you gesture around, throat dry and you blink slowly at him. If you were more sober you'd maybe read the flicker of a look he gives you as disappointed but instead, you read it as confusion.

“Because I'm high.”

He laughs loudly at that, “No?” he says all faux shock and dramatics and you swat at him as you pad over to the couch and plop down, he remains standing and you look over at him as he chews his lip watching the screen.

“Horror fan?” You ask, holding up the empty VHS case and he smiles down at you.

"I'm somewhat of a connoisseur." he seats himself heavily down on the other end and makes grabby hands at your stack of movies, shuffling through your wares as he kicks off his shoes, socked feet joining yours on the coffee table, your face scrunches at the toe poking out.

This is possibly a mistake, a beautiful one, but a mistake nonetheless, because it's seemingly all you both needed to start dropping by each other's more often

Late night smokes, takeout and movie marathons.

Flirting that makes you hide your face and stares that hold a little too long.

Midnight talks about home.

#my writing #eddie munson x reader #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x you #eddie stranger things #eddie x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fem!reader #eddie munson x you #fluff #awkward reader

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sugaimhome · 1 year

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cybersex - jm

pairing: cam boy jimin x anxious reader non idol au

genre: friends to lovers? smut, fluff, 18+ pls

warnings: ig jimin is a sex worker, smut, voyeurism, mentions of anxiety, reader is insecure, oral sex (female receiving), mentions of masturbation, he has his hand around her neck, MISSIONARY other smexy things yk, soft jimin. i love them, jimin is rough one minute then soft the next

summary: jimin's only source of income is his livestreams, when he starts loosing viewers and money he admits it to his friends, including you and secretly you agree to help him... on camera, but things are more complicated than it seems

parts: one shot (i do have an idea for a second part if this goes well! i really wanna write it ah)

words: 8.7k

as per, not proof read.

A/N: i have been working on this since november and that's the longest i have worked on something, idk how i feel about this but i love the way i wrote jimin so theres that. also i intended to post this on more like the 20th but i am posting now! ahead of schedule go me. i hope you enjoy! thank you for the support!

Jimin had arrived at your weekly group meetup 10 minutes late. He was late a lot of the time but today he was grumpy, he was only talking to Taehyung, who was looking as worried as Jimin, and he was seriously avoiding the alcohol. All of this you observed from your vantage point of your spot half way up Seokjin’s stairs. Your shoulder was pressed against Yoongi’s and as you did in most group gatherings, the two of you were trying to escape socialising. You tended to exchange a few words, then when Yoongi had drunk enough, you’d both venture down to the rest of the group. By the end of the night Yoongi would be dancing on the table with Tae, but before then he’d need at least two more cups. For a moment your attention is taken away from Jimin as Namjoon’s head appears through the wooden panels of the bannister.

“I brought you socialising juice.” he smiles, handing you up two shot glasses.

“Thanks Joon, I’m not drinking tonight” you smile back at him, he shrugs as Yoongi reaches for both glasses.

“No worries” he smirks, “I’ll drink them both”

Both Namjoon and yourself watch as Yoongi tips his head back and downs one of the drinks, his adam's-apple bobbing up and down. He pauses, not even wincing before bringing the other to his lips.

“We’ll be down in five minutes, I should imagine” you joke to Namjoon, who like you is staring wide eyed at Yoongi, not necessarily shocked, more impressed.

“I give it two minutes,” Namjoon replies,"that stuff's heavy." You giggle, and sure enough, two minutes later Yoongi is telling the rest of the group about something, or someone, he had done last night. You weren’t really listening, you’d probably hear the story again in the car as you drove him and Jungkook home later, your attention was on Jimin, who would normally be listening intently to this kind of story. He’s staring absentmindedly into Jin’s ceiling, a ceiling with no great interest. Yoongi's story ends and the attention turns to Jimin. “What’s wrong man?” Namjoon asks, with genuine care in his voice.

For a moment you don’t think Jimin will reply. He stares at Namjoon as if he’s asked the most difficult question he's ever heard, nervously rubbing his nose with his hand. Just when you think he’ll shrug it off he says “I’m losing viewers” you tilt your head, not completely understanding the context of his comment for a moment.

“I’m losing viewers” he sighs, as he does, you realise how much weight he’s lost recently. “I’m not making enough money”

It then clicks what he’s talking about, and it does with the others too as they all collectively gasp. He looks around the room, when he realises that everyones still paying attention to him he continues. “It’s been happening for months, I am barely making enough to live”

You wondered why Jimin had called off the meeting scheduled at his house the other week, if he couldn’t afford to live, he couldn't afford to buy alcohol for seven of his mates. “I applied for a job at a supermarket” his head is down, it must be pretty embarrassing to admit that in front of all his friends who, like he had up until recently, been doing very well with money. Too well.

“We’ll support you” you remind him, not caring if it insults him, because you would support him. You’d support any of them.

“I know,” he replies, smiling at you. Though the moment of eye contact doesn’t last long as he looks back down to the floor.

“Have you tried spicing it up?” Yoongi asks, Hobi actually groaning at the word “spicing”. It was funny how they swapped personalities when they were drunk, you find yourself smiling despite the heavy and weird topic.

“I’ve tried everything.” Jimin explains. “Different toys, different positions, I even tried losing weight, but apparently no one wants to watch me jerk off anymore.”

There was once, years ago, when Yoongi had dared you to log into one of Jimin's livestreams and watch it. You knew the others sometimes watched him, for whatever reasons you could not, and would not think about. The thirty seconds you had experienced were bliss though, you couldn’t imagine how anyone could stop watching it. You blush slightly at the thought of the very clear memory of Jimin rubbing his hand up and down his dick and whimpering in a way you never thought could be hot. You close your eyes, trying to block out the image as you had done countless times.

“You should have special guests” Yoongi suggests, his voice is slurred now as he leans forward in his chair. “Invite some girls on, people would like to see that.”

“I have had no hook ups in the past year that would be comfortable with doing that Yoongi. Plus it’s special to me. I wouldn't want some random pornstar screaming all over my cam like that.”

“There's nothing worse than a screaming girl.” Hobi replies, staring into the bottom of his glass, disappointed with the lack of liquid, he glances at Yoongi, as if he had stolen it, even though it had been in Hobi’s hand the whole time.

“Let’s not shame them” you say. “It’s their job and if people jerk off to them screaming and that's how they get their money, who are you to judge?”

They all stare at you a little shocked, you wonder yourself where the sudden burst of confidence came from. “Are you a screamer?” Seokjin asks. “You seem to be quite defensive of the subject”

“No! I’m not!” you exclaim suddenly, as Seokjin had suggested, very defensive of both the subject and yourself. Your exclamation earns a laugh from some of the others, cut short when Yoongi speaks.

"That's perfect then" Yoongi decides. You look at him with your head tilted to the side for a moment. What did he mean?

When it's clear both you and everyone else don't understand what he means he continues. "If Y/N isn't a screamer, and Jimin doesn't want screamers on his cams. You can join him." He's looking at you. Pointing at you.

Before Yoongi even finishes you're staring at him wide eyed with a blush high on your cheeks. All these years of friendship and this is how drunk Yoongi repays you.

No one speaks, you realise that it's your time to say something and, voice shaking, you reply to him. "You know I don't feel that way about any of you"

You see Jungkook pout out the corner of your vision. The rest of them stare at you wide eyed, as if you hadn't said that before. The fool himself opens his mouth to speak again but Jimin's there before he can start. "That's enough Yoongi" he sounds demanding, defending you and you feel your pussy pulse in response. You're so embarrassed. This whole thing, your reaction, your apparent attraction to Jimin and everyone staring at you wide eyed makes you want to curl up in a ball and cry. You'd do anything to get out of this situation.

The thing is, you realise with a startling surety, you would join Jimin on one of his cams. It had fascinated you since the day you'd learnt it was his job. You trusted Jimin, if there was anyone to do something so daring with, it would be him. There was no way, however, you'd ever admit that to him.

The conversation, as Jimin had demanded, had moved on. Now it was both you and Jimin staring into Seokjin’s ceiling. Great. Min Yoongi had really ruined your night. Having no interest in the new conversation and more interest in eating your sorrows away, you get up and head towards the kitchen to raid Seokjin’s cupboard for something.

The kitchen, like the rest of Seokjin's house, is an organised chaos, nothing seems to have a place but if you were to ask Seokjin where anything was, he'd know. However, you didn't, and when you hear footsteps behind you, for some reason you assume it's Seokjin coming to prevent you from turning the place upside down. "Do you know where the chocolate is?" you ask innocently, as if you were just wondering and didn't intend to eat your way through it all.

"No" you freeze, it's not Seokjin, it's Jimin. You could tell from his voice alone. "But I can help you find it"

"Oh, hi." you mumble "thank you." You're still feeling a little nervous around him. For no reason. He wasn’t the one who had suggested anything.

"I'm sorry about earlier" he admits, offering you a little lopsided sympathy smile. "You know no one would ever expect that of you. I don't know what's wrong with Yoongi ."

You gulp. Nodding and muttering something along the lines of "It's not your fault"

"I know but it's not something you'd ever want. You looked so embarrassed."

You want to scream at him. How can he not see that it is something you'd want and you have no idea why? How can he not see you want him?

Sighing when you reach the last cupboard you reply to him. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

He laughs, it's a sweet laugh, one that shows he's thankful. "Unless you're offering yourself up like Yoongi suggests, then no, but thank you."

He's kneeling on the floor now, searching through the cupboard next to you. You side eye him. Now would be your moment. If you had the guts. Your mind flashes back to Yoongi, speaking as if he knew your exact thoughts, he knew you better than any of the others and you wonder if he fabricated all this to give you this one moment. This chance.

"And what if I did" you want to slap your hand to your mouth to stop yourself talking but it's too late, you've committed now. Jimin has frozen his digging though Seokjin's cupboards and is staring at you with a mixture of confusion and shock. "What if I did want to offer myself up like Yoongi suggested?"

He looks at you speechless for a moment. "How much have you had to drink?" He asks.

"I'm driving." It's an adequate answer as his mouth drops a little.

"Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?" He whispers, looking to the door, as if to keep it from the others.

You only nod and he shoots to his feet, walking back and forth across the kitchen. All this time you'd been obsessing over wanting Jimin. You hadn’t considered that he might not want you and that causes your body to freeze up and tears to form in the corners of your eyes. You think the pacing is part of him thinking of a way to say no to you, to say you weren't attractive to him. "I'm sorry" you apologise, a reflex of yours when things seemed to be going ever so slightly wrong. "I don't mean to make it weird. Gosh I'm so sorry it is so weird. I know you don't see me like that" you put your hand to your forehead. You're still on the floor by the cupboard, Jimin turns to you, he's shaking his head.

"Are you sure?" He asks, and like an idiot you think he's asking if you're sure it's weird, but your answer is the same anyway.

"I am sure"

"And if the others saw it? How'd you know if you'd be comfortable with that"

Your eyes widen. He's considering it. Despite this being your idea you feel like your eyebrows are touching your hairline. “I don’t think I care” you reply, the thought did unsettle you a little, the thought of all the others seeing you naked, seeing you that intimate with someone. But you always tried to live by the motto of “you only live once” - at times your anxiety seriously got in the way of that, but not this time.

Jimin is pacing the room again, walking back and forth in front of you. It's making your head hurt. “What if you regret it?”

Your heart melts when you realise all the pacing back and forth isn’t about Jimin, it's about you, he's worrying about you. “I don’t think I will. Plus that would be my responsibility Jimin, not yours.”

Then, to your amazement, he stops his pacing, running a hand through his hair before saying “Okay.”

For a moment you’re too shocked to even speak then all the words start coming out at once. “You’ll have to tell me when and where, what to wear, what to say. I have no idea what I’m doing.” your hands are folded together on your lap, both them and your voice shaking as you speak. “I want to help you but I don’t want to make it worse and-”

He’s sitting on the floor in front of you now, holding your shaking hands in his. “If you’ve agreed to do this, why are you so anxious about it?” he asks, running his thumb over your hand.

“I get anxious about anything, no matter how much I want to do it.” you reply, watching him hold your hands in his, enjoying the closeness to someone for a moment. He only hums in response.

“I’ll message you later okay?” he tells you, helping you to your feet. After all of that you never found any chocolate. “If you change your mind, you don’t have to do this.”

“I know” you smile, he's still holding one of your hands as you talk. Then he's walking away, like they do in the movies. His fingers sciming yours. When you allow yourself to breathe again he's back in the living room and you’re standing in the kitchen by yourself, a little confused with all that just happened, and still very upset with your lack of chocolate.

***

After the kitchen incident earlier it had taken you 10 minutes to find the confidence to walk back into the living room. When you did no one really paid attention to you and you spent the rest of the night under one of Jungkook's arms, one of your favourite places to be, until it was time to go home. Now with Yoongi in the passenger seat and Jungkook alone in the back you finally had some silence. If you could consider whatever Yoongi was playing on your stereo silence. You see Yoongi turn it down out of the corner of your eye, then you feel him staring at you. “How did it go?” he asks, whispering as if Jungkook couldn’t hear. You blush, you don’t know what he’s on about, but he seems to know.

“I don’t know what you mean, Yoongi.” you can hear the tiredness in your voice, and how upset with him you still are.

“With Jimin” he continues, Jungkook has leant forward in the passenger seat to listen to the conversation.

“Yoongi you’re delusional” you tell him, a small blush rising on your cheeks.

“So nothing happened?” he pouts.

“No, Yoongi.”

The three sit in silence for a moment, the music impossible to hear over the sound of your car. Then, in the comedic fashion that was your life, the speaker announces “A new SMS message from Jimin”

Yoongi’s mouth drops open and all you can do is laugh. Jungkook rushes back to his little space between the two front seats, waiting to see if the rest of the message would read out; but that's something else you turned off long ago because they couldn’t keep their noses out of your business.

“Oh my goodness” Yoongi breathes. “Something did happen.”

“Nothing happened. It's completely unrelated, or it's an apology for your behaviour Min Yoongi” you take your eyes off the road for a moment to stare at him.

“What would Jimin be messaging you that's unrelated?” Jungkook asks from the back seat.

You sigh. “How many times a month do you message me to tell me you’re constipated Jungkook?” you ask him. Nodding whilst muttering a small fair enough, he sits back in his chair.

"So no Jimin x Y/N sex tape?" Jungkook sighs. "I was looking forward to that"

You sit in silence for the rest of the trip home. How did you end up with a bunch of idiotic friends? It's almost comedic how they will be getting a Jimin x Y/N sex tape if they log into one of Jimin's live streams at the right time. You're blushing and, embarrassingly, clenching your legs together as you drive along.

You only allow yourself to look at your phone once you're back in your flat, fully relaxed on one of your sofas with your legs up on the coffee table in front of you. Alone. The message is what you expected it to be.

“My place tomorrow? If you’d be more comfortable at yours I'd have to bring my setup over, but that's not a problem of course! Just wear anything you like but anything fancy underneath would probably be appreciated by the people but idm. I'll talk about the rest tomorrow, come round mine at 5? xx”

You gulp, not really sure how to reply, you settle with a simple “Okie (:” before throwing your phone down beside you. Staring at the ceiling you realise the exact scope of everything you’ve agreed to, you begin to question everything.

***

At exactly 4.55 the next day you’re sat in your car outside jimin's place, you’d been sat here for nearly half an hour, convinced that if you’d have left on time you would have chickened out. You’re sure you’re going mad.

It's your feet that lead you from your car to his front door, it's your hand that raises to press the buzzer, your mind feels absent, like you left it in the car, or maybe at your flat. When he finally opens the door it's like he’s taken half a day. He's wearing stonewash jeans and an oversized purple cardigan, you’d definitely never seen him in this before.

“Hi” he says, stepping aside so you can enter the similar hallway. It's as it always has been and somehow the familiarity of it brings you back into your senses.

“How are you?” you manage to say, a small smile covers his lips before he replies.

“Excited.”

You blush, looking down at the shoes you’re taking off to avoid his eyes “me too.”

He leads you upstairs and, with his hand on your lower back, into his bedroom. You had only been in this room once and that was so long ago that it had completely changed since. Two cameras rested on two stands and instead of a rushing feeling of dread like you’d expected your heart only beats in anticipation. You are heading towards the cameras when Jimin speaks.

“Y/N?” he's asking you to turn to you and you do. “Just promise me that if you didn’t want to do this you’d say? And if you change your mind halfway though you'd tell me?”

“I promise” you are sure about this anyways. This always happened with you, everything before the moment was terrifying but once the moment had begun things were a little less scary. When you properly look at Jimin however, he looks worried.

“Do you want to do this?” you ask him.

“Of course I do, I'm just worried about you.”

“I would tell you Jimin. Would a safeword make you happy?”

“A safeword would make me happy” he replies, a little of the worry falling from his features.

“How about Chocolate?” you suggest. He smiles before nodding and leading you to his bed. You sit on the end of it not quite sure what to do with yourself.

Then he’s kissing you. You would have gasped in shock but his lips were covering yours, he’s stood between your legs leaning over to kiss you and it's so amazing, he kisses so well. When he pulls away you’re both speechless and breathless for a moment. “The camera wasn’t on?” you ask him, a little confused.

He's messing about behind the cameras now with wires and lights, the whole setup looks less intimidating than you had imagined, he replies “I wanted a moment between just the two of us.” You stand from the bed, moving behind the cameras to watch him set it up.

Your heart rate increases, you realise there's no time for swooning over Jimin and push those feelings away. “Is there a plan?”

“I’m gonna eat you out first. Then I’m gonna fuck you. How good is your arch?” he's not looking at you as he speaks, and you are glad of it, your knees almost knocking together as they strain to hold you up. How can he say such things so absent mindedly?

“Arch is good. I think.” you reply, trying to hold the excited shake from your voice. As if you hadn't been practising in front of your mirror for the past 12 hours.

“I think I’m going to lay you sideways, like this” he is up from the floor now, gesturing towards the bed and where he will want you to lay. “This way, they'll get a good view of your pussy” he pauses to glance at you and gauge your reaction “as long as that's okay with you?”

You nod.

He continues. “And a good view of the rest of your body, but your face should be too far away for anyone to really recognise you, unless they know you really well.” you realise that he’s referencing all the others. It doesn’t phase you as much as it had before, if anything it excites you. Blushing at the level of dedication he seems to have put into keeping you comfortable and your mind wandering happily towards what was about to happen, you can feel wetness pooling in the fancy lingerie you had put on for the occasion.

“Right.” he slaps his hands together and gestures towards the cameras. “They're on. We just need enough people watching before we bring you in.”

That's when things start to get really interesting. You’re surprised at the casualty of it all as Jimin strips off his t-shirt. He sits in front of the camera and just watches as views increase, shirtless.

You’d seen them all shirtless before of course, at the beach, at pools but this was different. So so different. He’d obviously been applying oil and his abs were all shiny and slightly veiny you gulp. Jimin must notice as he gestures for you to move behind the cameras, from this angle you can see him as they see him, and you can see the comments and viewers streaming though.

“He’s hot”

“Is he gesturing towards someone?”

You look up at him, he's looking directly at you, then he winks and your knees go a little weak again. “You can strip now. If you're ready?” You can see it in his eyes, he doesn’t want to be pressured and that's why he's done it like this. It's your decision whether or not to enter the camera in a moment, and until then you can watch the increasing views. And what he’s saying on the stream seems to be working fine. Working too well for you to back out now,

“Wankerjane69 donated £20”

Your eyes widen, giving a thumbs up to Jimin. He, however, can’t see what you're putting up your thumbs too and tilts his head in confusion.

Putting your bag down that you hadn’t realised was still on your shoulder you begin to strip off your clothes, you start with your jumper, an oversized one you are pretty sure you stole from Yoongi. There was no point wearing a shirt underneath so you’re instantly in your black lacy bra. When you appear from the inside of your hoodie, Jimin is staring at you with lust in his eyes. Suddenly you want to cover up and you fold your arms over your chest. “Don’t be shy. It’s okay” he whispers, ignoring the limited intimacy you thought the camera would bring, Jimin obviously isn’t afraid to express his emotions in front of it.

Glancing over to the comments they’re coming though so quickly you can hardly read them before the next one replaces it. Adrenaline fuels every muscle in your body. You drop your arms, Jimin relaxing a little as you do. It's clear that he expected you to back out of this, but you’re so turned on you couldn’t care less if everyone watched you right now. You step out of your trousers, fighting with them and your balance without a chair to sit on, scared of tipping over the camera and everything going up into the air you try to slow down your shaky movements. Maybe you were feeling the anxiety more than you liked to admit.

Thousands of comments later you’re finally out of your clothes, standing there in front of Jimin in just the fancy lingerie you had put on for the occasion. His eyes roaming every curve and impurity of your body is scarier than the aspect of the camera recording you. You knew he wouldn’t agree to this if he didn’t find you attractive or if he thought that his viewers wouldn’t find you attractive and that does give you a little more confidence. He stands from the bed, moving closer to the camera so all that viewers can see is his crotch area, it makes you smile a little. He smiles at you in response, tilting his head to the side, it's to question if you’re ready, and in response, you nod your head, it was now or never.

Out of the view of the camera Jimin touches your bare arms, ghosting his fingers down your arm where he gently grips your hand with his, pulling you slowly in front of the camera. Every step you take in front of the viewers he gages your reaction, watching your emotions, presumably to pull you back out of the frame if you changed your mind. But despite the anxiety, the way it made your heart feel smaller, your stomach 6 feet underground, you still wanted to do this. With him.

“I’m okay” you whisper, trying to sound confident, and it must work, because he grins, walking you backwards until the bare backs of your knees are against the soft bed sheets, he leads you backwards onto the bed so your legs hang over the edge, Jimin standing between them as your back presses against the cold sheets, nipples hardening with both the arousal and the cold. Jimin stands over you for a moment, using his legs to prevent you from closing yours. Your body is placed right in front of the camera, when Jimin moves away your whole body will be on display to them.

The weight of Jimin's body on yours feels a little distant as you space out, too scared to think about the situation at hand. His kisses on your neck are what bring you back to crystal clarity. “It's okay,” he mumbles into your ear, his lips ghosting your skin. “Don’t overthink it just have fun”

When people had said this to you in the past it had sometimes made you upset, anxiety was never as easy as that, there was never a switch on or switch off button, it happened when it happened and there was really no changing that. But Jimin was right, the worst that could come of this was the others seeing you, and you had already established that you didn’t really care about that. So you pushed the anxiety away as Jimin began to kiss down your body, stopping at your breasts, peppering nippy kisses on the over-spilled area of your tits, unhooking the back of your bra and setting them free, before carrying on down your body, your stomach, then the area above your pants. As you suck in a breath of anticipation, Jimin toys with the elastic band. The sheer lace doesn’t leave much to the imagination in the first place, but the second he starts to wiggle them down your thighs everyone can see everything. Including your glittering entrance, coated in a liquid that proves your arousal. Your breathing increases, not from anxiety but from how shockingly turned on it made you that so many people were staring right at the most intimate area of you right now. You watch Jimin as he watches you, knelt between your legs. Your soul sets alight and you wish he would just bury his head into your cunt. He must read your thoughts, beginning to slowly press small kisses to the inside of your thighs. Then he’s level with your pussy, your pants long gone, disregarded somewhere across the room, your mind goes numb, feeling his breath against you, just waiting for him to touch you. “Please Jimin” you whisper, hoping the camera won’t pick up on it, but you know that microphone is designed to pick up every little noise, every little whimper.

“You like begging for my tongue?” he asks, licking a stripe from your entrance to your clit, you let out a little sigh of relief, but it was nowhere near enough. “Beg for me, like a good girl.”

You clench so hard, how did Jimin seem to know exactly what you liked? Were your kinks really that obvious for anyone to see? It brings a heat to your cheeks, but Jimin only chuckles, watching you clench around the air. “If you’re so desperate, beg for it slut.”

Almost crying with how good you felt, and he hadn’t even touched you yet, you allowed yourself to speak. “Please Jimin.” When he doesn’t take action you realise it's not enough. You’d need to say more. “I need your tongue, your fingers anything, please” you huff out in a single breath.

Blushing with how pathetic you felt, Jimin praises you “good girl” before diving straight into your pussy, he doesn’t even bother with little kisses or another lick, just straight to sticking his tongue into your pussy, his nose hitting your clit. You almost jolt back with the overwhelming shock of it. He's so overwhelmingly good, your legs raise and you almost turn away from him, but he catches your ankles in his hands, holding your legs above you as he presses his tongue into you harder. You hadn’t expected Jimin to be this good, your breathing laboured as he lets one of your legs drop to the floor, using his free hand to replace his tongue at your entrance. Jimin sucks on your clit as he curves his finger up into you, hitting a place you hadn’t known about until now. It hit you then, that in agreeing to this, you had agreed to the best orgasm of your life. It built with a slow surety of being unbelievable, you let out little moans, a second finger entering you. With both fingers fucking into that sensitive spot and his tongue flicking over your clit, your orgasm threatens to wash over you like a wave. “So close, Jimin” is all you can manage to say, and you regret saying it when he pulls away from you, letting your orgasm burn out like a flame. “Jimin!” you almost shout, genuinely annoyed that he’d stopped just as you were about to descend into what you knew was going to be your best orgasm ever.

“I only want you cumming when it's around my cock” he turns a half smile to you, his chin coated in your wetness, with his head still between your legs, the image is entirely erotic. The possessiveness in his tone both turns you on further and terrifies you. He certainly hadn’t seemed this concerned about where you came when you discussed this arrangement earlier. Was there something else going on here?

But there's no time to think of it when he’s standing up again, pulling down his trousers and boxers at the same time, you’re up on your elbows, making sure that Jimin's bare ass is protecting your face from the camera. It doesn’t surprise you how big he is, you’d seen him on stream before but in person it looked so much more ethereal than on camera. It rested snuggly to his stomach, his head red and pulsing slightly from his arousal, veins wound like vines up his shaft, you couldn’t wait to feel that inside you. Jimin has an undeniably male smirk on his face, one that suggested he knew well how to use his dick, and was proud of it, as you sat there open- mouthed. He turns on his feet, showing his erection to the camera as he pulls his trousers off his legs, kicking them across the room. With his back to you, you reach down to play with your clit, but he turns his head, your eyes meet. You are obviously visible from the camera, he sneers. “If you want me to fuck you stop touching yourself” its purely demanding and your hand drops from your cunt straight away. He turns back to the camera. “She's such a good girl” he's addressing the camera, telling his viewers about you and you clench around the air again. “Knows that my cock is ten times better than her fingers.”

This side of Jimin is one you had never seen before, dominating and confident, it was obvious that the confident part of his personality was a given considering he had enough guts to post his dick all over the internet, but he had always been soft, and you still felt safe. Even if it did seem he knew all your kinks and turn ons, like he had been analysing it for a while. Your praise kink was no secret, you blushed when any of your 7 friends said you’d done a good job, or the dinner you made was good, because you strived to please others and that extended into the bedroom. You’re pulled from your thoughts when Jimin turns back to you, pulling you further down the bed by your ankles, you hadn’t realised how much you’d slid up the sheets as he had eaten you out. You expect him to fuck you like this, with your ass slightly over the side of the bed, so you spread your legs in anticipation. A small chuckle falls past his lips, it's not a cute laugh, but a mocking one. “So eager” he says, gripping your waist gently and flipping you over, so your breasts press against the soft material of his bed covers. You can't see where he is at this angle and it only causes your core to tighten with anticipation. His shaft presses against the inside of your thigh, one move and he would be pushed inside of you. Jimin’s arms appear on either side of your upper body and his whole weight presses into you, his warmth is comforting. With his breath close to your ear he whispers “are you okay to continue?”

Knowing he wouldn’t expect the nodding of your head as an answer, you whisper back “yes, please.”

In response he huffs out a breath of air, laughing at your neediness, you blush. “Move up the bed a little, I want you in doggy.”

The wetness pooling between your thighs seems deeper than any ocean, you wish he’d just fill you already. Using the muscles that sculptured his stomach and arms perfectly, he pulls you up the bed, you push your ass into the air, a kind of instinct as you arch your back. You're further away from the camera now and you’re careful to look away from it instead of towards it. “Everyone can see how wet you are for me” he tells you, you shudder as he runs a finger though the juices at your pussy, climbing off the bed, presumably to show the camera how his finger glittered in the light, coated in your wetness. Letting out a little whimper that you hope will encourage Jimin back onto the bed, to bury himself into your cunt. “You’re such a good girl for waiting” he admits, the bed dipping with his weight again. Jimin's hands meet your waist, his cock brushing against your ass. You moan again, only inciting a laugh from him. He removes one of his hands from your waist to wrap around the thick base of his cock as he moves it up and down your folds. Every time it notches into your entrance, or pushes against your clit you moan, almost thinking you could orgasm like this if he kept up.

Then his head is pushing into you, it catches at your entrance, you’re stretching to accommodate him as he pushes further and further into you. Mouth open in a satisfied ‘0’ every inch he sinks into your core, you let out little sounds of pleasure. You had never felt someone sit so perfectly in you. His cock stretched you in all the places that you needed to be stretched and he just felt so good with his balls pressed against your clit. When he starts to slowly thrust into you, as if to test the water of how comfortable you felt, to test you wouldn't break before he went full pelt into you, something you had no doubt he would do, your whole frame of existence almost falls out below you. It had never felt this good. No man had ever felt this good. Clenching around him at the thought of it, Jimin lets out his own little “please” it’s more like the Jimin you’re most familiar with and you allow yourself to smile.

There's no time for your smugness as Jimin must realise you are more than ready to take his cock at a faster pace, he moves one of his legs up, allowing himself smoother and faster movements as he begins to pick up the place. Every time he pushes into you, you feel him everywhere, from his hands pulling you back against him, his cock dragging your walls, and his skin brushing against yours. It's bliss. You suppress your moans, figuring the people watching are here for Jimin, not you. Looking behind him slightly to camera, making eye contact with it as he reads some comments, Jimin continues his brutal thrusting, your moans stuck in your throat, so desperate to escape into the void of the air between the two of you. When he turns back to you he says “you don’t need to hold back, they want to hear you too. I want to hear you.”

Your whines and moans fall from your lips, everything you had suppressed coming out at once. “Good girl” he says, almost absent mindedly, but the effect it has on you is undeniable as you clench around his cock. Groaning in response Jimin removes his hands from your waist, grabbing your arms almost harshly to pull you up to his chest, his muscles contract under your skin as he continues his thrusting. You are pressed flush against him when one of his hands presses into the soft skin of your throat, the other latching onto one of your breasts, pinching and pulling it to heighten your pleasure. The hand around your neck applies a weak pressure, applying all the blood in your body into your pussy, increasing the intense feeling in your core, the building orgasm that you know will leave your body limp building undeniably fast in this new position. Jimin must be able to tell, whispering into your ear. “Do it. Come on my cock.”

It's a very tempting suggestion. “Jimin” you manage to breathe, struggling with the pressure around your neck. All you can think about is him, all you can feel is him. His dick dragging up and down your walls, his head hitting that place he found with his fingers every time he thrusts into you. His hand around your neck, his other pinching your nipple savagely.

You fall, your body almost spasming as you descend into the amazing orgasm you knew was coming. Its light floating on a cloud, then falling, tumbling as you pulse uncontrollably around his cock, your mouth open in a silent scream, hands clawing at his arm just for something to grip onto, to ground you as bliss consumes you. As the fireworks that had started in each and every muscle of your body dwindled out, Jimin continued his thrusting, his hips less smooth as he neared his release. You're so sensitive but you don’t want him to stop so you let him use you until his breathing becomes uneven and he asks, the breath from his voice hitting your hair “where should I cum?” his voice is weak, as if it used some of his energy to even speak.

The fact you hadn’t discussed this before was slightly concerning when you realised he wasn’t wearing a condom, but you didn’t care. “In me, please” you say, your core starting up with another orgasm, you doubted you could chase it before he came, but he's thrusting harder now, his head almost hitting your cervix. He thrusts two more times before burying himself to the root of his dick against your cunt, he hadn’t yet pushed this far into you and he seemed to focus his whole weight on being astronomically deep inside of you that when the strings of cum shoot from his dick into your pussy, the feeling of warmth sends you spiraling again, stars covering the corner of your eyes as you come for the second time.

When you escape from the all consuming bliss that has covered you, Jimin is soft inside of you, kissing the back of your neck sweetly. When he pulls out, and cum drips from your entrance you resist the urge to get up and show the camera, this was the art of sex, this evidence of two bodies being intertwined. But Jimin is up from the bed, looking at the camera and pressing buttons until you hear a definitive click, looking over to see the screen that had previously shown comments and donations blank. “You turned it off?” you ask, your throat a little raw from all the moaning.

When he doesn’t respond you assume you have done something wrong, maybe you said the wrong thing during the stream, something he hadn’t wanted you to say at all. Blush covers your cheeks and you instantly seek the side of Jimin's bed cover, to pull it over yourself to preserve some of your dignity, as if you could have any after that. When he turns back to you, his face drops from a smile to a frown. “Are you okay?” he asks. You must look like a mess wrapped up in his blanket like this. Nodding, you try to convince yourself that it wasn’t you that had caused Jimin to turn the camera off, but your traitorous mind told you it was your fault. Jimin stands in front of you, fully nude, his fingers pulling absently mindedly at the covers that you’d wrapped yourself in. “Was I too rough? Did I hurt you?” he pulled at the covers, as if he needed proof that you were okay underneath them. His lip pouted.

"No" you say, surprised you had the confidence to even speak. "You turned it off so quickly I thought I'd done something wrong."

"No, Y/N not at all, I just wanted you to feel comfortable" Jimin says, one corner of his lip falling down as he speaks.

"Oh" you reply, suddenly very embarrassed. "I'm sorry"

"No need to apologise." Shifting up on your elbows, you get a proper view of Jimin's lower half, something that had previously been covered by your angle. He was half hard again, your mouth fell open in shock. You'd assumed that once the camera was off, it'd all be over, but apparently not. Part of you doesn't know how to feel about this.

"Jimin?" you whisper, a bright red blush lights itself across his cheeks.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to make you uncomfortable, I can leave if you want, you just felt so good and I was thinking about the camera more than you and" He's running through his words, they tumble over one another like water over a cliff. "Just wanted to feel you again, just you and I"

He runs a hand through his hair, taking a step back from you, he's fully erect now. Speechless, words leave you. He shuffles away from you, apologies falling from his lips as he goes. The fear on his face was unmissable. You don’t want him to go, you want him back with you. But no words fall from your mouth. With words failing you, you take the next best action you can think of, throwing the blanket from your body, leaving you stark naked in front of him.

Freezing his shuffling and apologies, Jimin accepts the hand you reach out to him as you sit up, letting you pull him on top of you again. Without the camera the whole thing feels almost too intimate, with the camera you were helping a friend out, but without it you were going against everything you had said for years.

"You know I don't feel that way about any of you"

Is what you had said only the night before, but it was obvious that you were wrong, and perhaps in saying that, you had admitted something you had always known. That you did feel something. You don’t have much time to sit in these thoughts when your eyes snap to Jimins, he is staring at you in a way that makes you feel naked beyond your lack of clothes. You fight the urge to pull the blanket over you again. “You’re so beautiful, Y/N” he smiles, hovering above you, his arms trapping you safely under him.

You couldn’t remember the last time someone had called you beautiful with that much sincerity in their eyes. You’d had boyfriends in the past, but they’d been scared off by something about you, probably your closeness to the others, your comfort around them, like the way you had sat with Jungkook last night, with one arm over your shoulder, curled into his side and you thought nothing of it. It was a good enough reason to make anyone jealous. So in the past couple of years boyfriends had been a thing of the past, and so had such comments. Tears well up in your eyes. Part of you had started to believe that it wasn’t true, that anyone who had said that in the past was lying. But you know Jimin wouldn’t lie.

You close your eyes as he leans in to kiss you, something he hadn’t done when the camera was on, as if this was something he just wanted to keep for the two of you. His erection rubs against your thigh as you kiss, you’re surprised how quickly he managed to get hard again. You revel in the feeling of him against you in one of the most intimate ways, realising how much you had missed this. Letting a hand fall down your body to play with your clit, this time Jimin didn’t tell you to stop, you don’t touch yourself to reach orgasm, but just to tease yourself. This doesn’t have to be rushed, but when Jimin finally pulls away, lips swollen, and presses a kiss to your forehead, his cock rubs against your folds and you open your legs in anticipation. Huffing out a little laugh Jimin smiles, “I take it that's a yes.”

You nod, appreciating that he asked you again, having sex once did not mean consent for the second round, “yes” you say, feeling a wave of affection for Jimin and his consideration. Jimin reaches down between your bodies, using his hand to drive his shaft to your entrance that was lubricated by his cum and your wetness, as he had done before. This time he seats himself into you faster, his length sitting snugly in your walls, but unlike last time, he takes longer to move again. The feeling of him pressing into you, his head flopped down to your neck, as if he had accepted defeat, kissing gently over your skin, trading the sloppy and teethy kisses for soft and considerate ones. His whole body is pressed against you, his skin suffocating you in such a pleasuring way. And he wasn’t even moving yet.

He feels so good inside of you, as if you fitted together, two pieces of a puzzle that were crafted to interlink so perfectly. He stretched you enough for you to feel immense pleasurable shocks through your body every time he moved, but not enough to make you feel that uncomfortable burning feeling that happened when a dick was just a little two big. He was perfect.

He shifts back a little, nearly pulling out before slowly plunging back into you, and staying there as you run a hand through his hair affectionately and he sucks into a place on your neck that you knew would be bruised and red now. Out. In. A pause. Out. In. A pause. Out. In. A pause. No one had put this much time into you before, this much care and not broken half way through, an orgasm was already burning low in your stomach. “Jimin” you say, his voice coming out though the little whimpers you had been letting out periodically.

“Mmh?” he hums, his face pulling away from the artwork of bruises he had created on your neck. “You okay?” and the look he gives you is one full of such concern that you almost cry again.

“Close again” you manage to breathe as he pulls out and pushes back in again.

“Me too” he replies, dipping to kiss your cheek, then he latches his lips to yours again, as if this was the only correct way to end this. “Let go” he says, not changing his method, continuing his periodic but hard thrusting. You could feel him so deep.

And as he pulls out one last time, pushing back into you again cum. It's a blinding orgasm that filters out anything that isn’t your pussy pulsing, Jimin or the fireworks that go along every muscle in your stomach, washing over your body from your core like waves. His eyes go wide, as if you had done something he hadn’t expected before he pulls out one more time, your pussy clenching around the space he leaves and then plunging back in one more time, his load shooting out into you, warming you from the inside. “Y/N” he mutters. You shudder, loving the feeling you get so full of cum. Jimin doesn’t move from inside of you, but flips you over so that your whole weight is against him, his dick soft inside you. You let him run a hand through your hair as you lean on his chest, hoping that he'll never pull out of you. “I think you squirted a little” he says, you can’t see his face from where you’re resting but you can feel the rumble through his chest. “I have never made a girl squirt in missionary before.”

You have never squirted before, but you didn’t want to inflate his ego by telling him that. “I was happy to be your first” you mumble back, still a little out of it from your orgasms. He chuckles, your head moving up and down with the movement. The fact he had made other women squirt before did make you feel a small prickle of jealousy you had no right to feel, but you push it away and just enjoy the skin to skin contact and the way he felt, still soft inside of you.

You feel him suck in a breath, as if going to say something but changing his mind. “What is it Jimin?” you ask, hoping you’re not suffocating him with all your weight on him. You're relieved when he says “Would you stay the night?”

Nodding, you feel enthusiastic about it. Having sex again does worry you a little, you are so tired, but he’s still soft so you assume he just means to cuddle, and you can’t help but agree, it's been so long since you’d been held properly. So you stay, letting him caress your skin, pulling the covers over the two of you so you don’t go cold, all thoughts of the camera gone from your mind, apart from one thing…

How would the others react to this?

#jimin #jimin smut #park jimin #jimin fanfic #jimin x reader #bts smut #smut #bts #bts fanfiction #bts x reader #bts jm #jm #bts fic

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morgana-larkin · 14 days

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Hey I was wondering if u could do a Melissa x reader were reader struggles with SH and Melissa finds out some how and comforts reader and helps her to not SH or something like that (also I completely understand if u don’t wanna write this and really sorry if it’s triggering to u sorry and thank u)

Hi, thank you for the prompt! I will admit that this one got me a bit. It wasn’t that triggering for me but it was still hard to write. I hope that SH meant self harm or this fic took a very different turn than what you wanted. I went with the reader is autistic because I’m able to relate to that and made it easier to write the feelings and emotions. So here it is and I hope you like it. And of course not edited in the slightest. And I am still taking prompts, I’m currently writing another one for a prompt I got.

Little Droplets of Relief

‼️ TRIGGER WARNING ‼️

This fic heavily describes and talks about self harm and cutting. If you think you’ll get triggered then please don’t read it.

Words: 4.38k

Lazy, useless, unlovable.

3 words that you were used to hearing, mostly from yourself.

Growing up with Autism that went undiagnosed until you were 16 was difficult. There were times when you felt too tired to do anything or you forgot to do basic needs, like eating or brushing your teeth. Lazy.

There were other times when all you wanted to do was drown out society because everything was too much or when you didn’t pick up the most obvious social cues. Useless.

You’ve turned down many invitations from friends because you just felt like laying in your bed and live in the world conjured up by your thoughts. You've been clingy with some people because they don’t leave you and they’re someone you know but that led people to leave you. Everyone left you at some point. Everyone. Unlovable.

Those 3 words, a mantra in your head. Often led you to sit on your bed, rocking yourself back and forth and sometimes tug at your hair.

Until one day, those words in your head distracted you when you went to reach for a fork and ended up picking up a steak knife, from the sharp end. As soon as you picked it up, you dropped it and saw you were bleeding, and the voices stopped for a whole day. So when they returned the next day, you did your usual rocking on the bed and tugged at your own hair so hard you pulled some strands right out. Then you thought of what happened yesterday, you looked at your bandaged hand that your mom did when you told her you accidentally cut yourself. You bled and the voices stopped. So you grabbed a knife from the kitchen when you’re parents weren’t looking and you gave yourself a small cut on the wrist and you watched it bleed. You watched little droplets of blood fall from you and with the blood, the voices left.

It started off small, you would only give yourself a cut when everything else you tried didn’t work, but soon what turned into about once a week, turned into every other day then turned into everyday. Everyday before bed, you would do a small cut on your wrist and watch the blood fall, you called it your little droplets of relief. You always did small so you can easily cover it up with something, when it was hot out, like a scrunchie or thick bracelet.

You were 15 at the time when you started cutting yourself. Then at 17 you got diagnosed with Asperger’s which you were told was a form of Autism. You knew nothing about it. You were explained what it is, it’s mostly known as a social disorder but it’s other things too. For instance you can get tired from socialising, get overwhelmed and block the world out , have obsessions, and in some cases suffer on and off with depression. When you got told this, a lot of things made sense. And while you now had a name to it, you cutting yourself didn’t stop, it became an obsession, a dangerous obsession.

Now you are 27. You’ve been working at Abbott Elementary for a year now as a first grade teacher and you love it there. The kids are crazy, the staff even more, the principal was a whole different level though. You felt like you fit in here, you never felt like you fit in anywhere, always an outcast. You became friends with some of the teachers. The first one you became friends with was Jacob, he was nerdy like you, you had a lot of similar interests. The second one was Gregory, you don’t know why, but you felt like he was like you, he never said anything but a lot of things he does, you do. The third was Janine, although you still are wary of her, a little ball of energy like that can sometimes be too much for you. The next one was Barb, she was sweet to you since you started, always giving great advice if you need it and always lending an ear. Ava you’re still unsure of, her personality was big and her ego even bigger, but she cared about the students and she took some getting used to until you saw a person instead of well… Ava you guess. Then there was Melissa. She was wary of you at first, being new, but you saw she had a heart behind all those leather pants and insults. It took both of you awhile to warm up to each other.

While everyone was nice to you and you considered them friends, you never got close to them. You didn’t want to, because as soon as you did, then poof they’re gone. So you kept them all at a distance, you barely talked about yourself, you didn’t ask them questions about themselves either. You sometimes got up and left if the conversation got personal, mumbling out an excuse of some sort. The only one who really noticed that you did that was Melissa.

You’re not sure why but she seemed to take an interest in you. She kept trying to get to know you but always failed. Until one day she was talking with you in your classroom, you went to reach something and your sleeve rolled up, exposing your cuts right at her. You went a little crazier last night but it was chillier today so you thought it would be fine and just had to wear a long sleeve.

“What are those?” She said

“They’re nothing.” You said defensively. Pulling your sleeve back down

“They didn’t look like nothing.”

“Like I said , it’s nothing so just drop it ok.” You told her.

“Give me your wrist then.”

“What?”

“If you say it’s nothing then you’ll have no problem letting me see your wrist. So come on, let me see your wrist.” She said and you froze. I mean she did have a point, you aren’t showing her because they are something.

“This really isn’t any of your business or concern Melissa, I mean I barely even know you.” You told her, trying to deflect and get out of the conversation revolving your wrist.

“Because you won’t let yourself know me, and you won’t let other people know you.”

“People aren’t worth my time , not if all they do is leave. Like I seriously don’t know why other people try to make friends, people don’t stick around.” You said to her and this confused her. You confuse her. First you have mysterious cuts on your wrist, then you say that people aren’t worth your time. Then she thought about it.

“How many people left you?”

“What?”

“I said , how many people in your life has left you?”

“Too many to count.”

Melissa did end up dropping the cuts on your wrists, but she still worried about you because she has a pretty good idea of why they’re there. It wasn’t until one day, 2 weeks after she saw your cuts, that you came in tired, more tired than just the usual tiredness in the morning.

“You ok y/n?” Melissa asked as you walked into the break room.

“Ya I’m fine. Just didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.” You told her, and it was a half lie. You did get about 5 hours of sleep but that was only because you had to clean up some blood as you cut a bit too deep by accident. On top of that, you’ve been forgetting to eat, you didn’t eat at all yesterday and you forgot a lunch today, and slept in this morning by accident so you also didn’t have breakfast.

Melissa watched you walk to the coffee machine and poured yourself a cup. You look pale as a ghost but Melissa isn’t going to ask, the last time she asked about you, you shut her down.

It wasn’t until lunchtime that she got worried. She watched you stumble your kids to the cafeteria, and since she was paying attention to you, she saw you lose your balance a couple times and that you kept grabbing your head. When you came back to your classroom to grade some tests, Melissa was sitting in your chair.

“Melissa, what are you doing here?” You asked her.

“I think you know. You look pale. Did you eat recently?” She asked and you just looked at her. The thing is you need to sit down as you’re really lightheaded.

“Can I have my chair back?” You asked her and she got up. But you took 2 steps and you got dizzy and fainted. The last thing you saw through blurry vision is red hair hovering over you in frantic movements.

You woke up and looked around and realised that you’re in the nurse’s office.

“Oh look who’s finally awake.” A voice said and you looked to your left and saw Melissa sitting on a chair looking at you. She has one leg over the over and her hands on the arm rest of the chair. “I got Mr Johnson and Ava to cover our classes while we talk.”

“Talk about what? And where’s the nurse?” You asked her when you realised she wasn’t here.

“Like I said, we need to talk, in private.” Is all she said. And the look on her face shows she’s in no mood for anything and not going to let you shut her down.

You sighed. “Look Melissa, I’m fine, just forgot to eat and pack a lunch. But I’m fine now.” You went to get up but Melissa got to you and pushed you back to the bed.

She then walked back to the chair and bent down to get something out of her purse. “Here, after I brought you here I got some food from down the street.” She said and handed you a store bought sandwich. You didn’t take it though, you just looked at her confused. “It’s not poisonous if that’s what you’re worried about.” She said.

“It’s not what I’m worried about.” You said.

“Just take it and eat it. I don’t want you fainting again.” She said and shoved it into your hand. You finally took it and started eating it. “Now I’m going to ask you some questions and I want you to be truthful with me. And before you start getting defensive or try to shut me down, I saw your wrists and you fainted right in front of me.” She said, and if you weren’t already pale then you would have been now.

“You what?” Is all you said and froze about to take a bite of the sandwich.

“I saw them. Do you want to tell me why there’s cuts on your wrists?” She asked and you shook your head and she sighed. “Ok I know why but since you won’t tell me then let me ask you this. Why haven’t you been eating, I think you’ve gone a lot longer than just today of not eating, with how pale you were this morning.” She was really pushing it and you didn’t know what to do, she pieced a lot of things together and has you cornered.

“Can we not do this right now?” You told her, you knew that she won’t let this go and this was going to be a heavy conversation, and you didn’t want to do it at school.

“If not now then when y/n? When things get worse? Because I hate to break it to you, it got worse already.” She said and the tone of voice she was using, almost sounded like fear. Although you don’t know why.

“It can be today but just not here.” You said and looked at your lap. Melissa sighed and you looked back up at her.

“Ok, how about I drive you to my place after school and make you dinner and then you can tell me then?” She proposed and you looked at her confused, you don’t know why she’s doing this for you. “I don’t want you driving if you’ve barely ate. So either way I’m going to drive you. And before you think about it, I already took your car keys.” She said, you looked at her and she began spinning your keys on her finger proudly.

“Alright, but you don’t have to make me anything, I’ll just eat when I get back home.” You told her.

“I always make enough for 12 hun, you’ll eat at my house.” She tells you, leaving no room for argument and you nod. After you ate the sandwich you felt a bit better. You and Melissa went back to your classes and you just had your students read or draw for the rest of the day.

At the end of the day, Melissa came to your classroom to drive you to her place. “Ready to go?” She asked and you nodded, grabbing your bag. You followed her out to the parking lot and to her car. You noticed she kept looking back at you, probably to make sure you aren’t going to faint again.

She drove you to her place and got you to sit on her couch, you did as instructed and just sat there, twiddling your thumbs nervously. And at some point you dozed off because she was shaking you gently and telling you the food was ready. You both ate on the couch, she wasn’t worried about spills as the couch is covered in plastic. After you finished, pretty much inhaled your food, she put your plate on the coffee table then looked at you.

“When was the last time you ate?” She asked first.

“Dinner, the day before yesterday.” You said plainly and she looked at you worried. Well might as well come out and say it. “I’m autistic, and sometimes I forget to do basic things, like eat. It’s not the first time I’ve forgotten to eat, although it’s the first time I’ve fainted. I usually only forget one meal, not a whole day.” You said and she put her arm on the top of the couch, looking at you.

“And what about the cuts on your wrists? Why did you do those?” She asked the burning question.

“To make my brain shut up.” You said and looked down at your hands on your lap.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean the things my brain says on repeat, until I give myself a cut. It won’t shut up until I do, I’ve tried everything else before. This is the only thing that works.” You told her and she looks at you softly.

“Hun, there are so many ways to do that, and harming yourself shouldn’t be one.” She said and put a hand on your knee and began gently rubbing your knee. “What does your brain tell you on repeat?” She asks and a tear rolls down your cheek.

“3 words, lazy, useless, unlovable.” You said as another tear rolled down your cheek.

“Hun, you aren’t any of those things. When did this start? The words in your head and the cutting?”

“When I was 15. I couldn’t keep handling it. It got to the point where I was ripping my hair out. And then one day the voice in my head was telling me those words when I went to reach for a fork, got distracted and picked up a knife, from the pointy end. And as I watched the blood trickle out and down my arm, the voice went away for a whole day. And then the next day when they came back, I experimented and gave myself a small cut, and it worked. I only started doing it once a week, then that slowly turned into multiple times a week and then everyday, I like to call it little droplets of relief. I only ever gave myself small ones so I can cover them up with something, especially in the summer. But last night I cut too deep by accident.” You told her and she looked at you sympathetically. “I got diagnosed when I was 17, but by then it was too late.”

“And why don’t you ever let people in? You keep them at a distance.”

“People they leave, at one point or another. People always leave when I get close and it hurts. So to not get hurt, I don’t get close. It’s easier and less painful that way.”

“Hun, you shouldn’t be dealing with this by yourself. Everyone needs someone.” She tells you.

“I don’t need anyone, I’ve been fine by myself. It’s better that way for everyone anyway.”

“What do you mean it’s better for everyone?”

“I mean that I stay away and don’t need people, and they don’t have to deal with me.” You told her.

“Do you really think you’re so unlovable that someone wouldn’t want to be there for you?” She asks and you look at her with tear stained cheeks and nod. “Well from what I know about you, you’re a pretty great person who tries to take on too much by herself and doesn’t give herself a break.” She tells you and you lift your legs and pull them close to your body and hug them. Melissa thinks you look so small and vulnerable, it broke her heart that someone can think those things about themselves when they’re a good person. “I think you’re good enough.” She simply tells you and you look at her surprised.

“Why would you say that when it isn’t true?” And your voice is almost a whisper and you’re about to cry.

“Because it is true, you are good enough and you shouldn’t think otherwise.” She tells you and you start crying. “Can I hug you?” She asks you and you look at her and sniff, then nod your head as more tears roll down your cheeks. She brings you closer to her and you put your legs down and off the couch. Melissa wraps her arms around you and starts rubbing your back soothingly. You don’t know what to think at first about her hugging you, it’s been so long since someone has touched you, not even a hug for over 5 years. And you realise that you miss it, you miss physical contact with people. And you wrap your arms around Melissa’s waist and hold on tight as you continue to cry. You fall asleep in her arms and she doesn’t have the heart to move you, so she leans down on the couch and reaches for the blanket that’s on the top and puts a pillow under her. She drapes the blanket over you both and she falls asleep.

After that day, Melissa has taken it upon herself to help you, help you cope in healthier ways. Both of you try different ways and at first nothing seems to work, then after a few more tries. You found something, and you don’t know how you didn’t think of it before. The one thing you found that helped, was the one thing you never had before, someone there to rub your back or hug you or just there to listen to you. You started getting better and you kept finding more ways to help, like fidget spinners, earplugs, a rubber ball to squeeze if you need to squeeze something due to intense emotions.

And with Melissa helping you, you began to open up to her and you let her open up to you. And after some time feelings appeared, and you freaked out. You didn’t know how to deal with it, you’ve had small crushes before but the last time was in high school before you cut people out. And at this point you relapse after 3 months straight of not giving yourself a cut. The voices in your head only said one thing, one word now instead of 3, unlovable. You take a knife and drag it across your wrist, of course Melissa wouldn’t want you, she’s only helping you to be nice, nothing more. You did another cut and watched the blood flow down your arm. The voice didn’t stop and it got louder. You went to your other wrist and did the same thing, 2 cuts, but it still wasn’t working. You did it again, only this time, you made a mistake, you cut too deep and you were losing blood. You got lightheaded quickly and passed out.

And that was how Melissa found you a minute later as she came to your house every day to watch shows together or to chat. She opened your door with the key you gave her and she found you passed out on the ground, blood dripping from your wrist.

“Y/N! No no no!” She ran to you and tried to shake you awake and you wouldn’t, she checked your pulse and thankfully you were still alive but weak. She ran to your bathroom and grabbed towels and applied them to the cut and put pressure to try and stop the bleeding. And thankfully it did. As soon as it stopped, she went to get bandages and wet paper towels. She cleaned your arm up and then wrapped your arm with the bandage. She then picked you up and carried you to your bed and laid you down, then she sat on the other side of the bed and stayed with you until you woke up.

You woke up a couple hours later. You opened your eyes and blinked a couple times, you looked to your side and you see Melissa there. She hasn’t noticed you awake yet. She’s hugging herself and looks deep in thought. You call her name.

“Melissa?” You croak out and she snaps out of her head and looks at you. She looks happy to see you awake and then she gets angry.

“What the hell were you thinking!? I thought you were passed this?!? And then I find you on the ground with blood coming out of your arm!!” She yelled at you and you looked at her with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, it just happened.” You tell her.

“I thought you were dead y/n! Do you understand that? And you could have if I didn’t show up when I did.” She tells you and you look at your arm, it’s now bandaged up. “I was able to stop the bleeding and patch you up. I almost called an ambulance.” She tells you and you snap your head to her. Too think that you were so close to death and you have her to thank. “Why did you do it? Why didn’t you try something else? We’ve been able to find different ways, healthier ways, not dangerous ways.”

“I tried but none of them worked and I only meant to give myself a little one, but the voice didn’t stop repeating that one word and it got louder and louder.” You tell her.

“What word?” She asks you.

“Unlovable.”

“Y/n, I’ve told you many times that it’s not true, many people will grow to love you if you let them.” She tells you genuinely.

“What about you?”

“What about me?” She asks confused.

“You wouldn’t love me. I mean you’re only helping me to be nice. No other reason.” You tell her and you look at your hands.

“Y/n, I’m helping you because believe or not, I care about you. I’m your friend.” She tells you and you can’t help it, as soon as she says friend, it spills out.

“Ya, and that’s all you’ll ever be.” You snap a bit.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She asks, she has no idea where any of this is coming from.

“Forget it, forget I said anything.” You tell her trying to backtrack, you’re not going to tell her how you feel. You don’t want to ruin this friendship with her over something stupid as your feelings for her. But Melissa pushes you, she’s not going to back down, not after finding you like she did.

“No, you’re not going to do this again. Tell me what you mean. Please.” She tells you. She almost begs you at the end.

“It means that you’ll never be more than a friend.” You tell her like it’s obvious.

“What else would I be?” She asks, still confused. And then you look at her and she looks into your eyes, and she sees the hurt and fear. And then she figures it out. “Y/n, do you have feelings for me?” She asks gently and you close your eyes and nod. You don’t want to see her reaction when she rejects you and then leaves. But she doesn’t do either. To your surprise she cups your cheek. You open your eyes and look at her in shock. “I’m not going anywhere. And if I’m being honest, I have feelings for you too.”

“I thought you were straight?!?” You tell her and she giggles.

No, I’m bisexual, I’ve dated girls here and there but nothing ever stuck.” She tells you and moves the hand that’s on your cheek to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and you lean in. Your lips land on hers and she kisses you back. You think that this is where you’re meant to be, with her, with Melissa. She’s your shining light. “Is that what happened? Did you realise you have feelings for me and the voice in your head happened?” She asked suddenly and you nod. “Oh Bella, I wish you would have told me what was going on.” She tells you and your heart does a flip at the nickname.

“I will next time, before I do anything.” You tell her

“You promise?” She asks and you nod. She sticks her pinky out and you lock yours with hers in a pinky swear. “You can never break a pinky swear.” She tells you and you laugh.

“I pinky swear to come to you before I do anything stupid.” You tell her and that satisfies her. And she puts an arm around you and brings you to her and you cuddle on her chest, listening to her heartbeat. And this you think, are your new droplets of relief.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta ,@imaginesmultifandoms

If you wish to be added to the taglist then let me know :)

#melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti x oc #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti #x reader #fanfic

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prof-peach · 2 months

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Ever deal with Elgyem and Beheyem?

I have an Elgyem, Iggy, he's a sweet one, but I dont discuss him much due to his particular shyness, and the nature of his skills. My mother had a Beheyem, it was an unnerving pokemon to live around as a child, it was not kind nor fair in its treatment of others, and I think it's purpose in the house made me cautious around the species as a whole, but that waryness is not without reason.

Because of their abilities, Val has been trained to block their mind altering powers out. That feeling of something in your head gives you an instant pressure headache, can change memories and is sometimes enough to cause panic attacks, you can assume the worse if one hits you with its skills and you dont realise it. You do however, forget the second they stop using their powers on you normally, they wipe their presence from your memory most of the time so they dont get caught, sneaky pokemon. The few we've had handed in to us have been particulalry harsh, very difficult to handle, the more well adjusted pokemon don't often make it to us unless theyre grass types or native species who're handed in during times when the mainland centres can't handle the volume of patients.

Thanks to Val we can work with even violent individuals without our staff being thretened or erased in any way. Though they don't show up in this neck of the woods very often, not a pokemon you see in Johto much unless its migrated or been released. They tend to be loners, but can hang around in pairs, so keep your wits about you if see one, another may be hiding.

As a species goes, they’re in line with golette and bronzor ect, their power source is quite mysterious, they have organs that aren’t anything like other species, and as a whole tend to be shrouded in a great deal of mystery in the community, some scientists have tried to harness this bracket of pokemon as long term energy sources, but it was a practice deemed unethical very quickly. It however doesnt stop it happening sometimes in underground schemes and dens, much to our disgust within the pokemon care giving community.

They also seem to work similarly to claydol, in that they have a frequency network of psychic energy that they communicate on, along with their flashing lights used to stun and confuse targets, and their series of chirpy beeps. They aren’t nourished by solid foods, and from what researchers have gathered they draw power from the moon’s light, sitting out in it when possible. Theyre very efficient pokemon, metabolisms seem to run very slowly, and dont tend to rest much for days on end, which can be difficult in a more ordinary setting for trainers.

They have a curious nature, and can get into trouble a lot, but theyre very smart, and very quick to want to know what things are, so anynoe raising one should give them a whole heap of enrichment, puzzles, strategy games, show them new items, explain things to them. Theyre a great pokemon for people who have allergies as they dont trigger any, an innate being. They can be hard to socialise with other pokemon but not always.

This is certainly not a pokemon for the feint of heart, nor beginners. Theyre known to start altering their trainers memories when they want to get their own way, so play it safe, and be alert. Like any other pokemon however, they have a lot of charm and love to give if theyre a good match for you, I suppose keep an open mind on the species as a whole. Raised well and with love theyre excellent, intelligent companions.

#pokemon #peach talks #prof.peach

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sugaringcozy · 4 months

Text

Donghyuck/Haechan Natal Chart Reading - Part 3: Childhood and Education

Disclaimers:

☁️ This natal chart reading is for entertainment purposes and this is just my perspective. Take this with a grain of salt.

☁️ My intention from this reading is just to understand Donghyuck better and appreciate the person he is, where any sensitive topics come up I do not claim to know them as fact or wish to speculate.

☁️ This idol has given two different birth times, 10am and 6pm. This reading is based of his 6pm Natal Chart as I am not sure which birth time was given more recently and this chart seems more accurate to me.

Please do not copy my work and credit me if referencing!

🪐Neptune in 3rd House is a very interesting placement and there is a lot to cover here. 3rd house can suggest a lot about your childhood and early education. What I have picked up with the Neptune ruling third house is that Donghyuck was probably very imaginative and spent a lot of time daydreaming as a child, which is encouraged by the Aquarius placement as this is a naturally imaginative sign. Likely had a lot of ideas and was clumsy due to his mind being elsewhere. Can suggest anxiety in childhood - either in the child themselves or in circumstances which caused the child to worry excessively. For Haechan I imagine this would have been a result of being left with his grandparents as the eldest of 4. He likely felt a lot of uncertainty and insecurity around his family situation. Third House Neptune in Aquarius also suggests distance from your parents growing up. Neptune in the third house also suggests a parent was absent from your life during childhood, which we know was true. When Aquarius is in the third house, these adults tend to like to distance themselves from their childhood and as such Donghyuck likely prefers not to think about that period of his life. Donghyuck would have learned a lot through play, imaginative games and socialising with other kids. This placement also has a tendency to concentrate heavily or not at all. This house is on the Pisces cusp so Haechan would have learned best with no distractions. Neptune also rules dance, music and acting so Haechan is naturally talented in these areas and would have been drawn to them since he was little and started dance classes young. 🎭

👨‍👩‍👧‍👧 3rd House can give some insight on childhood as well as sibling relationships growing up - in Capricorn this represents being the responsible sibling, could have “parented” other siblings or feels a need to protect them. Capricorn in 3rd also shows the importance of the native to their family - Donghyuck is a main authority in his family and has caused a big shift in dynamic - which could of course be the fact that Donghyuck has brought a large amount of wealth to his family through his career.

🦁 9th House is always interesting as it can tell you about someone’s father and their relationship. A Leo Moon in 9th House suggests a father who is creatively inclined, proud, brave, dominant and hard-working. Hyuck likely has a good relationship with him and regards him very well, although a theme of independence also comes up with this placement. To me it makes sense as Donghyuck has lived most of his life away from his Dad, but clearly admires him and his sacrifices for their family. You also inherit certain traits from your father - the fact Leo is his Moon would indicate Hyuck has inherited many of his father’s mental traits - his bravery, his fire-like passion, and likely his creative talents too - I think Donghyuck mentioned in ‘Lost Boys’ that his parents met while they were working as musicians.

☀️ Donghyuck’s Gemini Sun and Mars Conjunction tells us more about his father, as Sun represents father and Mars represents warrior - so often this combination can suggest a father who ‘fights’ for a living, like being a fire-fighter, soldier etc or it can be a father who is very warrior-like - fierce and courageous, leading his family through difficulty. Often these fathers are also strict and have high standards for their children.

✨ Square between Jupiter and Uranus can signify an inner conflict between having a very busy career and spending time with family - Donghyuck is likely hyper aware of all the important moments he has missed due to being so busy, and feels a sense of guilt about it :(

✨ Opposition between Gemini Sun and Sagittarius Pluto Opposition - People with this placement are very sensitive to criticism. Also shows a deep fear of losing people, and maybe a fear of losing control. For Donghyuck I think this stems from his childhood, which as we now know had multiple losses and large adjustments. He must have missed his parents terribly and this may have impacted upon his sense of security as an adult.

✨ Opposition between Saturn and Ascendant/Saturn Setting - A negative aspect here, symbolising that as a child he may have felt lonely, worried or struggled with loss/abandonment. As an adult this can make you doubt yourself or fear close relationships unless you are met with lots of self-confidence and stability. It could also mean he has avoided romantic relationships despite many offers because he has had to overcome feelings of unworthiness. However Haechan has allowed himself to gain a new family in NCT, and his closeness with the members certainly suggests he is not isolating himself. It could be that he has worked through this trauma already, or that he is in the process of it. His childhood has also made him a very resilient and tough person - these natives are very reliable and easy to trust.

🐻 Uranus in 3rd House - This placement is associated with geniuses who can only really focus on what interests them, so it's quite likely Donghyuck would have performed less well in some classes and excelled in Music & Drama class. Probably got in trouble for pranks, and could have been teased by other children. Interestingly this house yet again points to an unusual upbringing. Being the oldest of four, and being raised by his grandparents due to his parents working away must have put some weight on Donghyuck’s shoulders. It signifies a feeling of responsibility or often being the child in trouble (either through his mischief or being the oldest). Haechan also feels very protective of his family’s privacy.

⛵ Square between Uranus & Ascendant - This placement seems to suggest big changes in someone’s early life which cause them to lack roots or a predetermined identity - basically, they aren't given much of a secure/fixed identity. Usually it manifests as moving a lot as a child or other big changes in childhood which prevent you from putting down roots and having a strong sense of who you are. This is very interesting because there was a lot of upheaval and adjustment periods in Donghyuck’s childhood, and things got even crazier when he debuted in SM rookies at 14, essentially ending any normal/private teenage years he otherwise would have had.

🗡️ Chiron & Pluto Sagittarius in 1st House in Retrograde - Signifies that his deepest wound is from early life and being in 1st house, it was quite core in making him who he is. Being in retrograde means that Donghyuck’s pain is internalised, and he is less likely to verbalise it. The Sagittarius element reveals that Donghyuck experienced pain or loss when developing his core beliefs/sense of stability and identity. Can make it hard for him to truly believe in anything and know who he identifies with. There is a need for finding meaning in life and to put down roots as he feels lost and unstable. Having a religious faith is likely very helpful to him. Chiron in 1st house can also bring about self-consciousness about your body/looks, which could have stemmed from ways he was treated in childhood. Because it is in the 1st house, this pain is visible to others around him; the people who know him are aware of the walls he puts up, his self-image issues and know he doesn't verbalise all of his feelings. Along with his Leo Moon I again think this means Hyuck prefers to ‘show’ his feelings rather than talk about them, and needs people around him who can understand and comfort/reassure him without needing him to verbalise his insecurities.

🏰 Midheaven in Virgo - 10th House cusp, Scorpio Rising/Ascendant - Donghyuck will guard his private life very closely, and issues can occur if the people around him don't consider his privacy as important as he does. This is especially true for the privacy of his family.

🌊♀️ Pisces in 4th House - 4th House can symbolise relationship with Mom and how the native sees them - for Donghyuck, this is a Mom who is creative, free-spirited, good-hearted and had to sacrifice a lot while raising her children. Speaks of a Karmic past-life bond with his Mom. ❤️ So cute. Through his mother, Donghyuck has learned unconditional love, loss and sacrifice. 4th House also speaks of childhood generally - Pisces is a childhood in which one or both parents were absent either physically or emotionally. A lot of adults with this placement tend to struggle with emotional processing, which I think is the case here as well. It can also manifest as an adult seeking love from people who do not love them. Often adults with mutable 4th houses find it hard to talk about their childhoods and again are very private and protective of themselves, which seems to be the case with Donghyuck, combined with his Scorpio Ascendant. Pisces in 4th is often a childhood where someone had to learn to care for themselves at a young age and ‘grow up’ quickly. However, I think this is talking about Hyuck moving back to Seoul at 12 years old to become a trainee, rather than about his family.

💘 His Leo Moon and Sagittarius Pluto Trine shows an especially deep relationship with female relatives. One woman in particular will have a profound impact on Donghyuck’s life and he will learn and grow so much through her despite early difficulties. I want to say it’s a soul bond, and with the Pisces 4th house I believe this is referring to his Mom :,) 🤍

👶 North Node in Cancer 8th House & South Node in Capricorn 2nd House - Haechan will dream of creating his own happy family. This is so cute because we obviously know how much he wants to be a Dad one day to show his child “a father’s love.”

~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading, I hope this was interesting! ☁️ 💖

Previous - Part 2: Career, Passions and Work Life

Next - Part 4: Friendships and Relationships

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#kpop astrology #nct astrology #haechan #lee donghyuck #nct 127 #nct dream #astrology #nct #lee haechan #nct imagines #nct headcanons #astrology observations #natal chart #natal chart reading #sugaringcozy #kpop tarot

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goodmiffy · 1 month

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What books would you recommend to convert someone to radical feminism? 🙏

That kind of depends where she is starting from, but here’s my stepping stones:

1. Invisible women - caroline criado perez - because it’s both incredibly impactful (like completely change how you see everything level impact) and also very digestible to someone new to analytical feminism. there is no avoiding the fact that it is femaleness that is oppressed, hated and punished.

2. Everyday sexism - Laura bates - digestible, relatable, and yet somehow optimistic. a good starting point for being more observant of sexism all around and wanting to be more proactive about it. this book is in my opinion too forgiving of men (like claiming sexism hurts men too (barf) but even in that there’s a decent critique of gender roles, and the male pandering doesn’t take away from the overall discussion and observations of sexism

3. The beauty myth - Naomi Wolf - had to be on the list! changed a lot for me in terms of how i considered beauty culture and even though it’s from the 1990s you can easily apply the same frameworks and actually it highlights how much worse things arguably are now re beauty expectations than they were then. not just an analysis of beauty trends but an excellent critique of capitalism

4. Living dolls by Natasha Walter. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone mention this on radblr actually but to me it’s become a staple critique of female socialisation, biological determinism, and the buzzwords designed to convince women the road to empowerment is products. It’s from 2009 but it’s as relevant as ever if not more so. also so ahead of its time re men getting porntrot. if you are reading this do not ignore this recommendation

5. Feminism is for everybody - bell hooks - not explicitly 2nd wave but a really concise focus on conscious raising, sisterhood and intersectionality (race and class). what’s more this one gives solutions and emphasises cantering women!

Honourable mention: Women and power: a manifesto - Mary beard - this is such an easy little book so there’s really no excuses for not reading it, say if you gifted her it 👀 short but succinct lectures that highlight the pervasive misogyny that actively silences women and keeps us powerless. maybe it’s too short and underdeveloped, tbh it doesn’t aim high enough in my opinion but i think it’s good as a stepping stone

honestly I’d recommended dworkin after the likes of these because i personally find her less ‘digestible’ (especially because her works are pre 2000 and modern readers seemingly struggle to cope with that!) and she doesn’t mince words so women who are easily put off by hard truths might just give up. with dworkin start with woman hating, imo.

and when she’s ready, THE SCUM MANIFESTO

I don’t know much fiction to subtly ignite radical feminist ideas other than: The Handmaids tale, Parable of the sower, and The power

hope this helps 🩷

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running-with-the-feels · 2 months

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I saw a post about how people like us (ADHD/autism) are ostracised a lot for just existing and that reminded me of a lot of my ha past.

I have asked this question to every neurotypical I know and no answer ever helped. So I ask you the same question Tundra “How do I become normal ?”. Every single time I ask this question the answer is always different be less blunt, be more sensitive, try talking less, listen more to what others have to say, have you tried seeing things from others prospective, be less angry and my favourite get a better attitude. I tried everything and still I was never normal enough.

You know tundra neurodivergent is a really new word before that there was “weird”. From as long as I can remember I was the weird kid, the kid that no one wants to talk to because she rambles too much, the kid no one wants in their team because just her existence will make them lose the game, the kid that sat alone in the front seat her whole life because no one ever wants to sit with the weird girl, the girl that other only talk to when the want help with homework/test because being nerdy was the only thing she was good at, a kid that every single teacher wrote of as problematic because she asked too many questions,can’t socialise for shit and would argue back to the authorities abusing her, a girl so pathetic she would sold every bit self respect she had to the help the people that bullied her ever day for a single chance that they will start liking her and she will finally have friends like all the normal kids do. A girl who laid awake every night praying for 15 years that when she woke up she became normal and people like her and she have friends like everybody else who are normal. A girl who for the last 20 years has been trying to make the perfect mask and still all people can do is point out the cracks.

Do get me wrong I love having adhd/autism I really do but I still can’t help but hope that one day I become normal, that I became human, that one day someone else also sit with me on that empty set, that I don’t stay alone anymore. I am sorry for the rant Tundra but after see that post I remembered every bad thing that happened to me for being neurodivergent and all I can do right now is cry because I would never be normal and the world isn’t a good enough place right now to accept my weird.

I just wrote this because you having adhd and autism makes is so that at least I would not be laughed at for saying that I was essentially friendless and lonely my whole life just because people think I am too weird and wont assume it something I probably made up and things were probably never that bad and that I am just exaggerating

And I don’t even know where I am going with this I just can’t stop crying and I need to write this to get it all out to tell someone how much it hurts and I just hope you will understand

I do understand, and I have been exactly where you are so the advice I have for you is advice I learned the hard way

You don't become normal. That is not something that is ever going to happen and you are allowed to be angry about that. You are allowed to be upset that the world is not built for people like us and that getting people to treat you well is a struggle. That is worth being upset about don't ever let anybody tell you different

But becoming normal is impossible, and trying is only going to hurt you at the end of the day.

So instead what you do, is you find the other neurodivergents and if there's none where you live then you find them here (be safe on the internet tho, just like you would on the street). You find the people who are going to understand and you surround yourself with them bc there is support there that is invaluable

You find ways to cope with the world when it works against you, you make systems for the things you struggle with and ask for help when you need it. There is no shame in that, it's actually better for your health (seriously there are studies to prove it) to work with your adhd and autism rather than against it.

And at the end of the day, there is one thing that you need to remember:

You already are normal. Everything you struggle with, every reaction you have, all the things that make the other kids call you weird? Those are all normal reactions for an auDHD-er to have. Your brain is working exactly as it should.

You are the normal one, its the neurotypicals that are the freaks and weirdos

And I know that it is really hard to throw off the shame they've ingrained in you, and it sucks to have people treat you like you're strange or stupid bc you do things differently and that's not ever gonna stop stinging. But it will get better as you get older bc you will find the people who you can trust to support you, and you will find the systems and tricks that make your life easier.

For me, the way I rationalize it is that my autism and my adhd are inseparable from my personhood. They inform everything I do from how I solve a puzzle, down to the way I take a piss (forgive my vulgarity). So to change those things would change who I am into someone unrecognizable, and I'm not too keen on that

I got into fandom and started writing bc mortal kombat became my special interest, and maybe neurotypical me would have never done that

That doesn't mean there aren't days where I don't get angry about it and wish that things were different, of course there are. If I had a dime for every time I snapped a pencil just to satisfy the need to break something bc of how unfair it all is, I'd be rich. But at the end of the day, it is not our fault that things suck, we are simply reacting to the world around us. A world that is, thankfully, changing.

Be as angry as you want about it, and honestly, if you need to break something once in a while, go ahead, just wear protective gear and be careful not to get hurt. If you need to cry, then cry, sob as long and as loud as you want and make sure to drink water and have an ibuprofen ready for when you're done.

And then, when the big tidal wave of emotion is over, you take a breath, remember that you are the normal one and you have a right to exist in the state that is most natural to you, and you keep going.

And you do that as many times as you need to

as cliche as it sounds and as hard as it may be to believe it really does get better, and if that better isn't good enough when you find it, then we make it better until it is.

#ask answered

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jfleamont · 10 months

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what kind of careers do you imagine James and lily having if the war was over and the weren't in the order and they also live lol rip

I can't imagine either of them wanting to rest on the potter fortune, they'd be waaaaay too bored

would love to know your thoughts!

You're absolutely right! We're talking about two people in their early twenties, full of hope and with big dreams, and even with a young kid to look after they'd still have lots of energy.

I think for Lily the answer is quite easy: she becomes a potioneer... But what kind of potioneer? Is she more into research (working on the development and improvement of the Wolfsbane potion) or does she prefer to help people more directly, perhaps working at St. Mungo's? In my opinion, after the war Lily starts working in the hospital because when she was in the Order it never felt like she was winning any of those fights, every mission was the same: she would barely escape death and she would see no real progress. So working at St. Mungo's after the war is her way of feeling useful, and seeing her patients get better before her very eyes is an immense satisfaction. I also think she longs to be around people: during the war, I doubt she went out and socialised much, what with her being a Muggleborn, and I think people in the Order were also advised to keep a low profile... And this is before they went into hiding! I think doing research would be more alienating in that sense. Furthermore, going from a state of 'constant vigilance' to finally being able to rest is quite difficult for her. All of the people in the Order who survived have some sort of PTSD: there's a sense of urgency, as if danger is always near and it keeps them on edge. I think the constant stream of patients that arrive at the hospital feeds into her restlessness. Working in research would make her feel like she's wasting time, and I think she feels like she's running out of it; she has a hard time adjusting to this new life. I think in the long haul this is dangerous, but I see her eventually realising that research is her future.

As for James, I believe he's a lot like Lily if not more restless after the war: I think this whole experience was quite a shock and he feels a lot of uncertainty and guilt. Unlike many of his peers, he had a choice, he could have turned a blind eye and lived an easy life. The fact that he didn't ignore the attacks and actually fought in the war didn't matter: he felt guilty for the privilege that choice provided him. I think James has no idea what to do after the war: he's a great Chaser, but that lifestyle isn't appealing to him anymore. So at first he stays home with Harry while Lily works at the hospital... But we're talking about James, he's easily bored. So I think that at one point he decides to volunteer (he doesn't need money, he doesn't want it) for different organisations, both Muggle and Magic: he likes helping people, he likes leading them and learning from them and there's this whole world he wasn't privy to and it's wonderful! He's been told how hard it is to be Muggleborn, but seeing how rich and complex and different this universe is (and how similar it is to the Wizarding World, too) is an eye-opening experience. So this is what he does for a while: he sees how corrupt the Muggle government is and he becomes interested in politics - this is right when Margaret Thatcher becomes prime minister - and he tries to help in any way he can (he participates in fundraising events, protests, strikes) and he does the same for Wizarding politics. He protests against the treatment of werewolves and other creatures in the magic community, he writes articles that get published in the Daily Prophet - he calls out Rita Skeeter in some of them, she fires back, he sues her, it's a whole thing - and he's channelling his energy in all these different endeavours but he's still hungry for something else. And yes, this is how he's always been, never satisfied, always looking for the next dopamine hit, but now he feels a bit lost, so Lily suggests he does something more mundane and grounded. The idea comes to him when he's looking at his son - now a toddler - and realises that he doesn't want Harry to grow up like he did. Don't get him wrong, James had a wonderful childhood, but he was a kid with no friends his age, elderly parents and an endless amount of energy. So James realises that kids in the Wizarding World generally grow up very sheltered since they're homeschooled until they're ten and he wants to do something about it. He thinks about what he liked to do as a kid and all he can think about is Quidditch, but now he knows all about all these different muggle sports and wouldn't it be incredible to introduce kids to them? In a couple of weeks he has it all figured out: he's now the founding member of this club, where he gets kids involved in sports, muggle culture (books, movies and music) and even trips to aquariums, museums, cinemas and plays! At first it's just Harry, a couple of Weasley kids and Neville, but with the help of his friends he gets other kids to join, and he soon realises he needs some help managing all these little monsters, so he hires Remus - he's reluctant at first, but he knows that James is too ambitious for his own good and he cannot possibly organise all these activities on his own, bless his heart, so Remus needs to intervene - and McGonagall helps him find other employees. His parents' manor is empty and he can't think of a better way to honour their memory than to use their house as a kindergarten of sorts, so after a bit of cleaning and refurbishing, the house is ready. He loves this: it gives him purpose and hope, and it's like being Quidditch Captain and Head Boy only way harder, but also way more fun. And who knows, he might do this for the rest of his life or he might not, but it doesn't matter, because he has a whole life ahead of him and he can reinvent himself as many times as he wants.

So that's all, I guess lol I thought my answer was gonna be short - she's a potioneer and he's a quidditch player - but as always I got carried away :) do you agree? Feel free to tell me your headcanons!

#jily #jple #jfleamont rambles #asks #james potter #lily evans #jily headcanons #edit October 2023: I put it under the cut because I realised it was too long lol

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smokescreenimusprime · 1 year

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Hi hi! I’ve been reading your smokescreen stuff and I had a thought. Specifically, a thought for a sort of, alternate version of the early crash AU. Smokescreen crashes early, but he crashes in the middle of nowhere and is damaged. He goes into stasis for a while, and when he wakes up the only system he can use is his holoprpjector. (He’s also stuck, buried deep underground in the middle of the Nevada desert, so that’s no fun either)

But he has his holoprpjector, and spends the next several decades just…vibing around Jasper. Then, he meets Jack. And they’re roughly the same age, so they hit it off. (Tho Smokes always has to explain why he doesn’t eat, or drink, or seemingly use the bathroom, and all kinds of other fun excuses to keep Jack off his trail). But then the Kids get involved with Team Prime, and suddenly Smokescreen is being confronted with Cybertronians for the first time in decades (possibly even for the first time in centuries).

And now he just has to figure out how to tell the bots what his deal is. (He doesn’t like being buried and may or may not have developed an intense claustrophobia.)

OOOOOOOOOOOO I REALLY LIKE THAT 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

I hope you don't mind but my brain went kinda insane with this thought and low key came up with a mini fic plan for it so-

just. Smokescreen slowly fitting into the little human society built above him. Going to their schools, working their jobs, living their lives. Maybe the first few times he lives the lives, he isn't perfect. He'll slip up and forget certain details about himself, or he'll be a bit too fast or strong and in such a small town rumours spread quickly

In his first lifetime as a human, Smokescreen kept to himself. He acted the way he always did, but kept to himself and watched from afar to learn more about humanity. He enrolled himself at Jasper High, got a job, bought a small apartment to call his own and did his best to ignore the pointed rumours and whispers from behind his back. For as amazing as humans could be, at times they could be just as cruel as the bots back home

it's a lot of stumbling and learning and making mistakes and he doesn't have any friends, but it's a step up to being alone in the quiet dark of his stasis pod, so he'll take it. He lives through his human's life, working, creating, starting hobbies, and so much more. The freedom to do things just for the sake of doing, of being allowed to pursue any job he chose without legal limitations, of being able to draw and paint and sing without countless rules and segregations preventing him....... it's freeing in a way he didn't know he'd been restricted

his 2nd life went much smoother, with a lot of the Nuances Of Being Human having been figured out. He had some difficulties "faking" his death since driving off into the desert with all his belongings then returning in the same vehicle with the same belongings would raise more rumours than he'd like to deal with, so he ends up packing all his important things and trinkets into boxes, gets a moving company to take them away, "dies" (he just messes with the settings on his holoform and waits for his body to be buried/cremated before dissipating it), moves in a few weeks later with a new identity and has the same moving company bring his stuff back

his 3rd life was more of the same, and not a whole lot stood out. He socialised better with other humans, but most of the bonds had had were kept at a bit of a distance. The fact he couldn't go super far from Jasper severely limited his hang out options since it's not exactly the entertainment capital of the world, but he makes do

his 4th life was actually cut short, which he's endlessly salty about. He managed to make it to his late 20s/early 30s, and this time around he wanted to experiment a bit. Specifically, he wanted to try street racing. Human cars were really starting to get interesting, and he wanted in. It had been far too long since he last raced, and while he wasn't going to be the one on the road, being behind the wheel was the next best thing. And he's damn good driver too, one of the best in the circuits around Jasper, and he dominates the local races for years

........but yeah it doesn't go so well in the end. Smokescreen's avatar ends up getting into an accident, one that he'd definitely not be able to get away with survival and ends up having to cut things short. It was a mad scramble in the next few days to get his stuff somewhere safe, and he unfortunately wasn't able to get all of it. It took him almost three months to cool off enough to make another human. It's was..... definitely difficult recognising so many people with them not recognising him, but he managed

but then something interesting happens nearing the end of his 5th life

Smokescreen had gotten some new neighbours. That in itself wasn't anything new, he got new neighbours all the time. They were a young couple freshly married and nothing that really garnered extra attention. Smokescreen did end up running into the wife at the grocery store a few times, and that's how he ends up learning her name

June Darby

he sees her around a few more times and they make pleasant conversation. At times, Smokescreen thinks they might even be friends, but he's hesitant to put a label on it It's been so long since he's had a friend, he doesn't want to scare her off

and things are nice. They talk over coffee and walk through the park together, enjoying each other's company. June tells him about her life and Smokescreen tells her about his human one. They have fun, laugh, make jokes, and when June gets pregnant Smokescreen is ecstatic to meet the kid

but then...... then things took a turn for the worst

Smokescreen had never liked Mr.Darby. He had his suspicions, had his gut feelings, but never had anything other than that to go off of. He doesn't even know what about the man made him feel so uneasy, just that something about him, about how June would take every opportunity to get out of the house, about how she always looked so tired in a way medical school couldn't explain.......

everything comes crashing down one night. At 11pm he hears yelling outside his house and frantic banging on his door. He's on his feet in an instant, and he's horrified what he sees

June, crying and shaking with a bruise on her cheek and Mr.Darby trying to drag her away

in that moment, Smokescreen forgets he's supposed to be a frail old man and punches him so hard the man's jaw shatters

June spends the night with him. He gently guides her to the guest room and keeps watch all night. Sleep was simply a formality at this point, one he was more than willing to forgo for her safety

it was easy enough to get Mr.Darby to back off. Smokescreen had accumulated quite the fortune over the (technical) generations he's lived on Earth, especially since the food and water bills he paid amounted to almost nothing, and it was more than enough to pay for any legal fees to get the man arrested and evicted. June was of course still very shaken up from the whole ordeal, but Smokescreen doesn't hesitate to let her know she's welcome for as long as she'd like

and then June just kinda...... never ends up moving out. The trial kept her on edge and busy, then she had to get caught up on all the schooling she missed, then Jack was born, and while she always intended to move back it just...... never happened. And it wasn't like this was a bad thing, Smokescreen's home was more enough for the three of them, and neither minded being roommates. It was...... honestly comforting, having someone there

but Smokescreen knows he's running out of time. That he's only going to be able to realistically be around for so long before his age will start to draw attention, and as much as it kills him to abandon June and Jack he doesn't know what to do

so he stats planning for his next life, more than he has for every previous one combined, and for the first time, he decided to tie these two lives together

before, he always avoided any relations at all. It could become suspicious and lead to people poking their noses where they don't belong and asking questions he wasn't prepared to deal with. But….. he couldn't stand the thought of being forced to watch June and Jack from the sidelines. Of them not knowing him in his next life

it had been a few years since everything had gone down when Smokescreen finally puts his plan into action. The plan had been to tell June he needed to take care of some “Family Business” he’d thought was taken care of before his time ran out. That he wasn’t sure if he’d be back, he could feel that he was running out of time, but that no matter what he loved June and Jack

Jack was 7 years old when he said goodbye, and that memory would be burnt into his brain for the rest of his life. How Jack clung to his pant leg asking him not to go, how June's eyes got so big and shiny and how her hands would shake. It tore his spark to pieces to see them like that, and it just convinced him further

he left almost everything he had to the two of them. Aside from a small box of his most personal and important things, he left everything else to June in his “will,” including the house and all his money, which she at first tried to reject but Smokescreen was stubborn and insisted

And then he gets in his car with a tank full of gas and drives far off into the desert

it takes 3 weeks before he comes back, and it was the longest 3 weeks of his life. He wanted to rush back, wanted to be with June and Jack again and he was worrying himself sick over what could be happening to them, but he forced himself to wait

In his 6th life, Smokescreen is the most honest with himself he’d ever been since his 1st life. His holoform is what he thinks is comfortable and he makes himself as young as he can get away with (a newly 15 year old) because he wants as much time as possible with the two. His personality is who he truly is without any politeness or experimentation because above everything he wants to be as open and honest as he can with these two. He starts thinking of ways to describe his life, his Cybertronian life, in a way that would fit as a human because he wants them to know him, not a puppet he created

When he shows up in Jasper things…… go as he expected. Driving up in his “old” car definitely got some whispers and June’s suspicion was almost painful, but well within everything he planned. Smokescreen was ready to play the long game for this, anything it took to be a part of their lives again

he claims to be his previous life's great-nephew. That one of his grandparents and his old life used to be siblings, but had a falling out leading to his old life moving to Jasper and cutting all contact. A few weeks ago, Smokescreen had reached out to his "great-uncle" since things with his own parents weren't....... going super great and his grand-uncle was really the only family he felt would be sympathetic. However he over estimated just how much his grand uncle was willing to do for someone he didn't even really know, leading to him recommending Jasper as a place to stay and driving all the way to where he lived to give him his car

he also mentions that his grand uncle had talked about June a lot in the days before he died, and he could tell he really loved her (not in a romantic way). He'd already said his "last goodbyes" weeks ago, and while he did make sure they knew how much he cared...... he still feels like he hadn't said enough

after things slightly calm down after that, Smokescreen then gets ready to leave. After all, he's still technically a stranger to them and he's already accomplished his goal of making contact....... but then June insists he stay the night. After all, he's a 15 year old and she can't in good faith let him sleep in his car when she has a perfectly good bed available

reluctantly he accepts, but makes it clear he's going to make plans to move elsewhere. After all, this is June's home now and he doesn't want to intrude

.......but just like when he first took June in, his moving out never happens. He ends up being enrolled in school, babysits Jack when June's shifts run longer, help prepare food and before he knows it, they've become a family once again

a few years later when June asks if he'd like her to adopt him he nearly cries

from here, my thoughts are a bit more scattered. I have a couple misc ideas which I'm not fully sure how to go about but want to include somehow:

after he graduates this time, Smokescreen ends up working at the library for both a change of pace and some nostalgia, and he's really good at it

when Smokescreen left his 5th life, he gave Jack a little pendant he'd made some years back with Alpha Trion's symbol on it. Sort of a way to remember him by, and Jack rarely takes it off. It's eventually noticed by the Bots which sparks a bit of curiosity about Jack's older brother

Smokey is just as much in the dark about the Autobots as June is, however he'd had suspicions for it longer. Not specifically Cybertronian Interference, but defiantly that there was something going on

during the whole MECH Thing, Smokey ends up getting kidnapped in the house. However, things don't go as planned because Smokey isn't at all limited by normal human limitations. Initially they tried drugging him and knocking him out, but he only goes down when they hit him with a high powered taser which ends up REALLY fucking with his holoform which unfortunately gets their attention

the Autobot Base is thankfully just within Smokescreen's range, and he looses his SHIT. Unfortunately they can't free him just yet on account of the whole ass town on top of him, but the fact multiple someones know he's down there...... yeah he starts crying a bit

during the S2 finale, Smokescreen ends up being the one to stay behind in the base since..... well, he couldn't leave anyways. Might as well make sure everyone else can escape

#did I fuck with human timelines? maybe a bit but that's just because I didn't feel like looking things up-#first thoughts #initial resident #transformers #transformers prime #tfp #tfp smokescreen #smokescreen #tfp june #june darby #tfp jack #jack darby #autobots #kd answers #anon

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edai-crplpnk · 6 months

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Some Team 8 + Sand Sibs chara sheets

I procrastinated writing yesterday by doing little chara sheets for my polycule AU.

Kiba and Shino have been dating since they were teens. Shino and Hinata have been dating since college. Kankurou and Kiba start dating at 22/25 (I am writing this fic). Hinata and Kankurou may or may not have some queerplatonic relationship going on eventually.

I used this picrew for the sheets!

Additional facts!

Kiba:

Inuzuka Kiba isn't his legal name, he is still officially registered under his deadname and his father's family name. He might change it once his father's dead, probably not before that since he doesn't want him to know about it. The rest of the polycule handle most of his mail so he doesn't have to deal with it unless necessary.

He is Japanese through his father and Filipino through Tsume.

Hana is his half-sister (different father).

He transitioned in his late teens and has been on T + post-top surgery for some years now.

He got a hysterectomy for endometriosis.

He doesn't smoke much anymore, mostly vapes, which allows him to control CBD/THC levels and ratio better.

Kankurou:

He doesn't identify as trans, but might identify as non-binary somewhere along the way. He's fine with being seen as a man and conveniently goes by he/him, but is honestly a bit too psychotic and dissociated to really have an opinion about his gender and gendered body.

He is Jewish through his mother, but was raised by Baki (here, Rasa's half-brother) so most of his relationship with Judaism and Jewishness is self-taught reconnection.

He had only one brief relationship before Kiba and had sort of settled for the idea of not trying to look for partners (both romantically and sexually) because it was a lot of work and socialisation and it didn't feel all that too important for him, but hey, shit happens. (Kiba happens, and it's good shit.)

He gets a colectomy and stoma bag for his ulcerative colitis around 25 (again, the KankuKiba fic is about that). He probably won't try to get a reversal surgery in the future because he hates surgeries and hospitals.

Shino:

He mostly uses Makaton and text-to-speech as AAC. The former is easier for short indications and requests in daily life, and the latter for more complex conversations.

He gets on opioid replacement therapy sometime during his teens, although still injects occasionally as an adult.

He was initially assigned male at birth, and then reassigned female during his childhood, which he (very understandably) did not live well. Shibi defended his right to choose his gender presentation and refuse further intersex surgeries after that, and he's been mostly living as a boy/man since then. He half identifies as a cis man, half not because dissociation and plurality and trauma make gender complicated but he's sort of working through it. He'd still consider his relationship with Hinata straight, and his relationship with Kiba gay.

His parents broke up when he was a kid (in part over the decisions made about him) and Shibi raised him for the most part. He sometimes sees his mother as an adult, but they're relationship is not very good.

Hinata:

It's been a bit of a struggle to slowly acclimate Hiashi to her being part of a polyamorous relationship, but he does like Shino a lot, so that helped. (He doesn't have an excellent opinion of Kiba but they also mostly never see each other and they're happy with that.)

She has a fairly ok relationship with her family now, but being able to move out and live in group with way less hierarchy and a whole lot more community support has been very healing and helping with having more resources to maintain her relationship with her family too.

Kankurou does all her phone calls (as that of about everyone in the polycule, to be honest).

And the sibs!

Gaara:

He's had a lot of autism-related struggles as a child/teen, but functions much better as an adult now that he understands his needs better and has accommodated his daily life to them. He works as a landscaper but has a lot of at-home work hours.

Lee is his first relationship (I also have a fic about that) and he does think he's gay? But also never has thought about neither his orientation nor the idea of dating and who he would want to date much before that, so he's not sure. He's going with that for now.

He waxes his eyebrows because he compulsively plucks them otherwise. Dying his hair also helps with trying not to pluck them.

He was mostly raised by Yashamaru, who is Jewish and raised him Jewish, but has a bit of a complicated relationship with that because there was a lot of projection on Yashamaru's end, and difficulty to see him as his own person and not just his late sister's baby. He's not religious although he sort of still observant out of habit. (Ex: he doesn't necessarily care about eating kosher, but it's also the food he's used to make and eat, so he will still go for that most of the time.)

Temari (in pyjamas mode in this picture because I didn't have something less casual that fitted her style in the picrew):

She works as a diplomat and is very much a workaholic. The trauma is strong but the grind is stronger.

Just like Kankurou, she was raised by Baki and her connection to Jewishness and Judaism are mostly self-taught. She is a bit less observant than Kankurou.

She has chronic pain that she probably ignores a bit too much, but who can really stop her. (Kankurou should try and probably does.) Compression stockings enthusiast.

She has a motorcycle that Kankurou is very afraid to ride. (Gaara is okay.)

I'll probably do more in this AU later!

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connoisseursdecomfort · 1 year

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The problem of normality 1 - Yor’s insecurities and her assassin job

Yor is the most controversial character within the Forgers. The problem is this - what people expect to see is an assassin, what the show gives you is a woman who seemingly is constantly failing unless she’s assassinating but she’s not assassinating enough. People want to see girl-bosses being absolute badass kicking asses 24/7, and no, instead they see a normal woman with deep-seated insecurities.

To be honest, I appreciate Endo taking this route, just because he decided to flesh out Yor as a human rather than making her just a superwoman (but I mean, she kinda is). He took the hardest road. He made an assassin who’s actually trying to live a normal life when she’s not assassinating. She wants to be “normal”.

Wanting to be “normal” is a problem. I also see how others are upset because she seems to have a (high-paying?) job and her own space - basically symbolisms related to an independent woman - before becoming a mom/housewife. On the very surface this seems to be reversing what women have been trying to do over the years - until we realise what being/becoming an assassin has cost her.

The manga has been very open about what being a spy means and how much Loid loses just to be a spy. This is because the series is named Spy x Family A. the family is basically forged because of a mission and is therefore very much focused on it; and B. let’s be real - writing a spy is probably easier, with solid political systems, sets of ideologies and tonnes of research to back your writing up.

It is less fun to write an assassin. It doesn’t require a heart to be an assassin. Heck, it’s better if you have nothing but money in your head. No dreams, No relationships. No ideologies. Nothing. You go in and kill a stranger with exceptional skills and maybe also cool ass tools. You leave with cold hard cash. A professional assassin would make an excellent video game character if you are just in for gore, but it would really make a terrible character in a story, because there shouldn’t be emotional motives involved. And I think that’s why Endo did not really go really deep into it before he came up with the next arc, because stabby stabby is fun, but it’s also only stabby stabby. It doesn’t add to Yor as a character.

A character only becomes interesting when it has a human side we can understand and even relate. So what kind of person is Yor? Yor is a very sweet person who would even apologise before assassinating someone and tries to lessen their pain when she kills them, but she is also extremely shy and awkward. A lot of people see her as autistic, but a friend of mine said Endo probably didn't intend to make her autistic. That is a fair point. So what did Endo intend to write her as?

An introvert who is literally killing it in her profession but severely lacks socialisation and recognition all her life.

Yor, like other assassins, are in for the money (at first). Unlike other girl bosses and superheroes who most likely join in the business at least when they are mid to late teens, she was most likely a child or an early teen(*), having to take care of another much younger child. She desperately needed money to support her family. Her country is in war, meaning that the welfare system, if there had ever been one, was most probably wrecked. She didn’t really have a choice when she decided to become an assassin.

She became an assassin (or at least, started training) in such a young age it was almost impossible for her to continue her studies, if she had ever studied in a school at all (female attaining higher education remained to be uncommon until the 70s), meaning that she probably lacks proper education. Not being able to study in a school means she also misses important stages of development as in to socialise with others. But let’s say she did, it is also impossible for a young child to balance homework, housework, parenting AND assassin work. (1) Having extraordinary strength most probably didn’t help when she tried to make friends, if she had the time.

Before having this office job in the City Hall, Yor’s cover was being a massage therapist. That is not really a respected job judging from how people just assume that she is a sex worker. And of course she has been assassinating since a very young age. It is all waku-waku until you realise she gets no recognitions, other than maybe her “colleagues”. The outside world, outside of her assassin organisation and her home, has not been kind to her. Imagine that the only emotions you get from interactions with people other than your sibling and a small circle of “colleagues” are basically just fear and scorn.

She doesn’t really form meaningful bonds other than her brother and maybe some of her “colleagues”.(2) I would imagine that she has been marginalised so much she has formed codependent relationships with both Yuri and the Shopkeeper (and the whole organisation behind it) before she even became an adult. We know how obsessive Yuri is, but we seldom discuss how much control the Shopkeeper has on her - the Shopkeeper knows everything about her, and she had to ask for the Shopkeeper’s permission to marry. The two people are pulling her towards different directions, but don’t leave much room for her to be herself.(3)

In a sense I would argue that Yor has never been independent. Unlike Twilight, she's never had a grand dream. She didn’t afford to have one. She only had a purpose, until that purpose no longer seems that important anymore as Yuri grows up and has his own job.(4) But then I would still not call her submissive. She didn’t have a choice when she became an assassin, and you can’t really blame a child making this decision, trying to survive and support her family at wartime. And I assume that every assassin who belong to an organisation probably doesn’t have a high level of independency - the more organized the group is, the more secrets their members know, the more eager the organization would be to keep them in check.

How her relationships with Yuri and the Shopkeeper can be contrasted with her relationship with Loid and Anya is quite interesting, but this is probably already too long for one read so maybe next time.

(*) The memories of their mother’s stew show both of them as children. Yuri most likely was only a toddler. Yor is seven years older, so most probably she was 8 to 11? I don’t really think she looks 12 in that memory though. Anyway.

(Explanations that include manga spoilers) *MANGA SPOILERS* *THE KEEP READING FUNCTION DOESN’T WORK UGHHHHH*

(1) She admitted that she never had that much time for herself in butt-shot date. Her only reason then was that she’s busy taking care of Yuri. But one would also imagine her assassin training could take up much time too, as shown in both manga and anime, Yuri remembers how she used to come home late with blood all over her.

(2) To be honest in the manga only the Shopkeeper and the Director are introduced, and they are both father/mentor figures for Yor.

(3) Yor did contemplate on leaving the Garden, but the Shopkeeper doesn’t really seem to show signs of letting loose. Should we trust Yor when she says it can be her last mission when she decides so, or would there be complications? It is interesting how Nightfall describes Twilight to be this sharp weapon, but Twilight never aims to kill; on the other hand, Yor IS actually a weapon of the Garden, and the Shopkeeper is actually keen on keeping her sharp all the time.

One thing that is extra curious is that usually assassins do it for money, but the Shopkeeper seems to always explain the reasons why Yor’s job matters. It is not made clear if the Garden is actually political or not, and therefore we won’t know how politically involved the other members of the Garden are. Is this a method to brainwash Yor in order to keep her on board or is it just a common belief all members share?

(4) Actually I feel that this is probably one of the main points in the cruise ship arc. I will most probably analyse it in part two.

#spy x family #Yor Forger #thorn princess #am trying very hard to make it manga spoiler free so tada?#A very long guess work #thank you for coming to my ted talk

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johaerys-writes · 9 days

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15 questions for 15 friends

I was tagged by my dear @elveny, thank you so much!! 💙

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?: No! Well, yes, after a character in Greek mythology, but not after a parent or grandparent or anything like that.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: Yesterday. I was reading the Iliad again for an anon ask and was going through the part where Achilles kills Hector and oooh that scene got hands 🥲 I cry a lot though, I'm a crier, and a lot of the time it's about patrochilles so it's par for the course really lol

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?: Nope.

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?: I'm fairly active generally but I don't play sports at all because I don't like them. I tried several sports while in school before accepting that I simply don't like team sports and I'm not good at them, but I had much more fun with solo sports. I swam for several years somewhat competitively, and I also did track for a while.

DO YOU USE SARCASM?: I think so? But usually only with people I'm very comfortable with, because I can never know what would go down well or not with a person I don’t know.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?: That’s hard to answer because I feel like it depends on the situation. Most of the time, it's body language and their general vibe. Meeting new people can be nerve wracking so I try to "read" them and act accordingly, if that makes sense? I don't want to step on any toes or say the wrong thing so figuring out what the other person's mood or interests might be usually helps. But that often means I miss out on other things on first encounter, like... their eyes or smile or something?? Lol idk man, socialising while on the spectrum is hard 🥲

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR?: Brown.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?: I think I'll pick scary movies because I do like horror and dark stuff and I don't care if the ending is happy or not as long the story is interesting.

ANY TALENTS?: it took me so long to think of something for this and I honestly don't know? I'm assuming by 'talents' we mean something you're born with, not something you've worked hard at like some kind of craft, right? In that case, I think I have pretty good visual memory, especially when it comes to books and articles and such, or the written word in general. Oh and I'm weirdly good at orientation, I can usually find my way no matter where I am. Which isn't such a huge deal now in the era of google maps, but back when there was no gps it was a pretty useful skill to have haha.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?: Greece.

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?: Writing, reading, gaming, crocheting, drawing, going to museums! I'm constantly on the look out for new exhibitions and stuff, it's my favourite thing in the world to do.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?: A darling and dastardly cat, aka my extension when I'm at home.

HOW TALL ARE YOU?: 1,68m

FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?: Oh god I freaking hated school, absolutely hated it LOL I can't think of one thing I liked in it. I guess I only enjoyed the very last year of high school when I was preparing for the Panhellenic exams because like... it felt like there was finally some kind of purpose or reason to be there at all, even though there was a lot of pressure. I loved Ancient Greek, Latin, History and Philosophy.

DREAM JOB?: I don't have one, I don’t dream of labour 🙃 I don't think there's any sort of job anyone could do in this capitalist hellscape we're all currently living in that would be enjoyable enough to make up for, well... living in a capitalist hellscape lol. If I could, I'd just go back to uni, probably. That was my happy place and I miss it. And I'd also write a bunch and read a bunch and take up all sorts of creative hobbies, and probably travel more.

Tagging forth to a bit more than 15 friends lol sorry (and I know I'm forgetting ppl): @baejax-the-great @thiefylilelf @vimlos @mogwaei @gloriesunsung @aymayzing @cordelia---rose @knicknocknick @aristi-achaion @peachandfig @heypax @darlingpoppet @tevivinter @mary-aries @tragediegh @pikapeppa @figsandphiltatos always with love and without any pressure 💕

#tag meme

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helshades · 1 year

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Could you please explain why people are so opposed to the pension reform? I'm trying to understand, but living in a country where you can retire at 67 but keep working until 70 if you wish, and everyone is fine with that, I feel I must have missed something.

(Happy to be sent resources if you don't want to make a writeup!)

Same anon as before, forgot to mention I read french so no trouble if you send me french articles or posts. (That is, if you answer the ask, if so thanks in advance!)

It's really not on you, but your Ask did depress me a tad. It aligned with many comments I've spotted across the media coverage of the current French crisis in foreign countries, and most public reactions to it. The worst ones are definitely racist, along the lines of mocking them French that never want to work, but I know the most benign to be genuine: how come the French get to retire so early in life still, and why are they protesting an apparently necessary, surely inevitable, evidently inexorable raise of the legal age for a full pension, when everybody else must retire later in life, which they deem to be entirely natural and normal?

I was about to ask you how did you think the French got to retire as early as 55–60 years of age not that long ago (62 today) if not because of their infamous propensity to go on strike and protest a lot in the first place—in truth I was debating with myself on the tone I should adopt to say it—when it struck me suddenly: the crucial part of your comment was not the age for legal retirement in your country... Rather, it was whether or not the people in your country really happen to be ‘fine with that’.

In late January, the man who modified the Swedish pension system twenty years ago, raising the retirement age to 65, was interviewed by French news outlet. Karl Gustaf-Scherman, who used to administer the Swedish social securty, had a recommendation for President Macron: ‘Don't you imitate us and apply our model.’ In reality, most Swedish people can't physically afford to wait till 65 to retire, and have to leave their careers without a full pension: according to a 2019 study ordered by the national retirement fund, 92% of female and 72% of male retirees saw their pensions diminish (and, consequently, their purchasing power) after Sweden opted for this new pension system based on capitalisation and an increase of the retirement age. ‘Mr. President, the only reform you should pass would be a reform à la française’, Gustaf-Scherman concluded.

Again: are you completely certain that in your country, everyone is fine with working till 67, even 70 years of age? How many factory workers do you know, in your entourage, people who spend all day on an assembly line? How many sewage workers do you know? How many nurses and orderlies still lifting patients at 65, how many masons and tilers dreaming of working past their 70th birthday? Do you think it fair to ask a person to retire five years after everyone else because they've known several periods of unemployment in their career, because of some economic recession or because they've had to give birth to the next generation of humans? Do you find it fine to die before you've reached the legal age of retirement with a full pension, never getting to spend quality time with your grandchildren or your friends or helping out at local associations?

Do you find it normal never to get a rest from work before you die?

It's not only that everyone ought to be allowed some respite after serving their country well by participating in producing the national wealth for forty odd years; it is also that all those neoliberal reforms aim to destroy the remnants of old socialised systems across Europe to replace them with a fully capitalised economy. In other words, the point is for the tenants of a globalised market economy to take control of the gross domestic products of each country, open them to speculative funds and get to play with all that wealth—with the systematic privatisation of national markets allowing for unlimited concurrence and speculation.

France's pension system is still partly based on non-wage labour costs that have allowed its nationalised portion to remain afloat and stable since the creation of the Social Security in 1946. Back then, la Sécurité sociale was actually intended to cover all risks of life, but even then the class war was raging on. The entire history of the Social Security centres on the boss class' attempt to snatch the fund's control from the hands of the workers themselves. The move has definitely accelerated within the last four decades (the Eighties have seen the rise of Neoliberalism, as per the Chicago School's teachings, for further illustration, look up Augusto Pinochet's Chile), somewhat exponentially since 2016's Labour Law, implemented when Emmanuel Macron was a youthful minister of Economy who really began tearing the country apart proper, notably to finance his upcoming presidential campaign. The merciless destruction of our once-protective Labour code truly was the point of entry of his Thatchering enterprise...

I reckon no president of the Republic has been as universally detested as most of the French people have come to loathe Emmanuel Macron. The basis of his electorate is a contingent of very wealthy people, most of whom elderly, who share economic interests in the destruction of national sovereignty in favour of privatisation, since they've got, precisely, shares in the big companies that are to profit from the change; and people who simply don't care about the future generations of pensioners.

Trouble is, if Macron got re-elected a year ago, it was only because votes were extremely divided between many parties and because of a successful campaign to hold far-right candidate Marine Le Pen as a compliant scarecrow , presented in all media as the only one opposition to Macron—which meant that all people had to do to oppose Macron would be to vote for her, as it was sure to scandalise the rich and the Woke... Then, all Macron would have to do, which he did, was to present himself as the only one true credible defence in front of the Fascist Menace. The recipe, which was actually brought to perfection in the early 1980s by to-be-president François Mitterrand (using Marine Le Pen's more sinister father, and founder of the National Front, Jean-Marie Le Pen), is well and truly tried. Still, one of these days, she's going to get to presidency, and Macron will have been her best supporter.

#answers #to be continued i suppose #nonnies #riots in france #emmanuel macron #in conclusion #capitalism bad #reforming our pension system was never necessary #it is an entirely political decision #macron cannot do more than two (five-year) mandates but he's securing a long career in the private sector for himself

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redditreceipts · 5 months

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You have no idea how grateful i am for your blog. Its eye opening and i no longer feel like a hysterical bitch for worrying about what some trans movements (and im talking about those that want to police cis womens bodies too, not only theirs) was doing to feminism for past years.

Don't get me wrong... i think its fine when they do what makes them happy as long as they dont hurt other people. But more and more it feels like trans women want to dominate female spaces. And honestly, no matter how hard i try, i cant stop thinking thats its just male need to be always in the centre of attention. They come to us and instead of finding companionship and trying to fit in... they bring they own idea what a "woman" is and try to force it on every woman. Ones they dont agree with them they dubbed terfs and think that end of discussion. Another example of male entitlement if you ask me.

Im tired of bending backwards to appease them and once again ignoring womens issues as not to hurt trans womens feelings. Shouldn't they too be more empathetic towards cis women? Shouldn't they feel camaraderie with us? I'm yet to find trans woman who fights for feminist issues that dont concern her (i.e reproductive rights applicable only to bio women) with such ferocity cis women who are TRA fight for her right to be called a "woman". I'd want to be proven otherwise but more and more it seems like we're being talked over by men and male socialised people.

Sorry this came out long and probably makes no sense, but i feel like such a failure as a queer person to think like that. Maybe i am. But as a woman im tired of being silenced all over again. Now by the very people that claim sisterhood to me. But it feels like I'm the only one expected to hold my part of the bargain, they are exempt for some mysterious reasons. It's exhausting, I'm exhausted and honestly losing hope that my problems as a biological woman will ever be taken seriously.

Hey :)

I feel you in how difficult it can be to not feel like you have any people who see the same things you do. I also felt alone for so long because I had this nagging feeling about certain things, but most of the people I could find who were worried about the trans movement were conservative.

And I also get what it feels like to force yourself into cognitive dissonance. It’s hard to try and convince yourself of things that are so blatantly untrue, and in the end, it doesn’t work. at least not if you’re a same-sex attracted woman who is a lot in LGBT spaces and can’t just “ignore” these things.

And I guess that there are some trans women who genuinely care about women’s issues, the thing is that they are not heard or uplifted because at some point they have to admit that women and trans women are different categories, and the trans activists can’t have that. So every discussion can not be about material issues, but it has to be about the use of language and pseudo-philosophical debates. Because if you look at material reality, you notice that cis women and trans women are not just different types of women, but different sexes altogether (even though trans women sometimes live their lives as though they were female and experience discrimination because of that as well).

But most male-to-female trans activists are displaying such apparently male behaviour (sexualisation of women, talking over women, not taking women seriously, etc.) that you’d ask yourself why they don’t get dysphoria from that? I mean if I were a male who wanted to be a female, I’d at least try to appear female in some capacity lmao. I sometimes ask myself whether these people actually feel gender dysphoria or whether they have some other mental health problem that has nothing to do with being transgender.

But you’re not a failure as a queer person. Actually, I don’t think it’s productive to use that term because being “queer” is some nebulous concept whose creation had only the goal to confuse and obscure the “oppression” of biological sex and material reality. Even a kinky straight guy is queer, a straight woman who gets off on reading Yaoi is queer, and by a strict application of the term “queer” as “people who don’t conform to cultural norms around gender and/or sexuality”, even paedophiles are queer. That’s not to say that trans activists use it that way, but the definition leaves space for all kinds of unethical paraphilias. Being queer is not an oppressed class. What is an oppressed class is being a woman, being same-sex attracted, being gender non-conforming, etc.

You don’t owe the “queer community” anything. You owe it to people who suffer under systems of oppression like racism, capitalism, homophobia etc. to advocate for their rights and treat them as equals. You don’t owe it to some straight guy who watched too much lesbian porn to advocate for his rights. Literally nobody is oppressing him.

I actually think that at some point, women will realise their shared interests and stand up for themselves. My only fear is that to come to that point, we will go through some sort of conservative “Dark Ages”, but maybe we can do something to prevent that by showing a third way to analyse gender on the basis of material reality. It’s cool that you’re interested in that as well :)

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