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im-hqlover · 4 years

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Arranged marriage/Royal AU - Chapter 1 - The wedding.

A / n - hey, today I bring something that I was planning to do for some time, but I never had any inspiration on how to do this, until I read a fanfic about an arranged marriage between Jason and the reader, and that inspired me, so credits to @writingblock101 , who was the fanfic writer that I read. I hope you don't mind me being inspired by your fanfic. (and I must say, it was very good, I just loved reading)

Hope you like it!

(none of the images used on the aesthetic belong to me, credit to their creators)

Warnings: arranged marriage, maybe some bad words, assault, sex mentions, rape mentions, death mentions, angst, war mentions, cry (Idk if it is necessary, but I will put anyway), maybe english errors/mistakes.

important details to mention:

-This is kind of a Royal AU, but time kinda mixes with middle Ages and current time, so some technologies exist and others don't, it's kind of confusing, maybe, but I hope this isn't a big problem.

-The reader is 20 years old, Jason is 22 y/o

-The reader is female.

Pairings: Jason Todd x reader

Y/n = your name

F/n = father name

M/n = mother name

Kd/n = Kingdom name

F/f = Favorite flower

Words count: 5591

Next chapters: Chapter 2, Chapter two’s alternative ending, Chapter 3

Y/N's INFO:

Gender: Cis-Female

Sexuality: Straight

Height: Shorter than Jason

Weight: Not Defined

Skin Color: Not Defined

Hair Color: Not Defined

Eyes Color: Not Defined

Other details? Y/n is myopic

(I hope I have put all the information, let me know if i forgot something)

There I was, wearing a wedding dress while the royal seamstress was doing the last details. The mirror was facing me, where I could see my reflection, and my face was not at all well, my eyes were still red from crying.

This moment should be happy, it should be with my beloved Hunter, but unfortunately he ended up being brutally killed in that war. I begged him to flee, to go to a distant place, but we to stay together, but he said that he swore an oath, and that as a warrior, he would never run away from battle. He said he would come back alive, and that as soon as he came back we would be married, but I knew he would never come back from that war, hardly anyone did, and when the news came that he had been killed, I spent days crying.

That war was destroying our kingdom, it was destroying lives, it was destroying everything. I just wanted it to be over soon, and it seems like my wishes were heard, but not in the way I would like it to be.

The kingdom of Gotham, which had the kingdom of Metropolis as an ally, accepted the agreement to end the war, but that meant that I would have to marry one of the sons of the Gotham's king. They just told me that my future husband was an indomitable warrior, who killed several cruelly, it might not be much information, but I was sure I already hated him.

- The dress is ready princess, if there is something bothering you just let me know.

- It's all right Madeleine, I think there is nothing that is bothering me in the dress.

The seamstress nods in agreement, she opens her mouth to say something, but ends up being quiet, then someone knocks on the door.

- You may come in. - I answer in a monotone voice.

I can see by the reflection of the mirror that it was my mother at the door, and as soon as the old seamstress saw the queen, she immediately left my quarters. I don't say anything, and just look in the mirror as my mom approaches me.

- You are so beautiful.

I don't answer it and just ignore her.

- I know you don't want this daughter, but you know this is for a greater good.

- You promised me you would never force me to marry.

- I know we promised that daughter, but that was the only solution found to stop the war.

- No! that was the option that was best for the kingdom and for you, because the other agreements you and father would lose territory, resources, money and more! Already with an arranged marriage the only one who suffers is me! - I say sharply and angrily, and soon tears come again, I leave her side and go towards the window.

- You aren't the only one who will suffer, do you think that your father and I aren't upset about this too? We know how much you loved Hunter, and we know what we promised. But situations have changed, think for your people, how many lives are you going to save, that's the only way.

- No, it's not! There must be thousands of other possibilities, but this is the easiest! Now get out of my room.

- Daugh-

- I TOLD YOU TO GET OUT OF MY ROOM, NOW! - She was silent and left, I could see there were tears in her eyes, I never fought with my mother, but after that, things changed.

I took off that dress, and put on a more comfortable outfit. I lay on my bed and started to cry again. What's the use of being a princess, having luxuries and everything you can imagine if you can't have your own life? I just… wanted to be free.

I get up from the bed after a while, I wipe away the remaining tears, and went to the window. I loved seeing that landscape so far, after the village, there was a beautiful open field perfect for horseback riding, and further away, there were several mountains where the sun disappeared, and when it set, the landscape was even more beautiful. I even made a picture with that landscape, it wasn't as incredible as the real one, but it was still cool. I get out of my daydreams when I hear a knock on the door.

- Who is it?

- It's Juliet your highness, I came to tell you that dinner is on the table.

- Okay. Tell them I'm not hungry.

- Are you sure, your Highness? You haven't eaten right for days.

- Yes Juliet, I'm sure. - My voice gets angrier, and then the maid leaves my room. I lay on my bed again trying to sleep, but my thoughts wouldn't let me.

Tomorrow we will depart for the kingdom of Gotham, and then the journey will take about three weeks if we have no unforeseen events. The trip would be long, and I was tired of just thinking about it.

I will miss my kingdom.

The next morning, I was awakened by the rays of sunlight that appeared outside. I sigh tiredly and put the pillow in my face, I try to sleep a little more, but there was a little bird that kept singing and it was driving me crazy, so I decide that it would be best to get up soon, since apparently I wouldn't be able to sleep again. I choose some clothes from my wardrobe, and I go to my bathroom to shower, and after that I go towards the kitchen and get some coffee along with a piece of cake, but I refused to sit by the table with my family.

The hours go by being arranged clothes and various other things and placed in the carriages, all day I avoided talking to people, and only spoke when my answer was very necessary. Before I leave, I take a hot shower and put on comfortable clothes, neither screwing up that I would wear tight or extravagant clothes on this exhausting trip.

The trip was long, especially when there was nothing to do, most of the time I was thinking and sometimes listening to music, and sometimes when I got tired I ended up sleeping, the good thing was that the carriage I was in was just me and the driver, so I didn't need to interact with my family. The days passed slowly, but we finally arrived at the famous kingdom of Gotham.

I’ve never been there before, but I must say it was interesting, the kingdom was made up of some islands and the castle was on the mainland, along with some nearby villages, in battle mode it was interesting to note that they had certain advantages on account of the islands.

I sigh as I realize that we were soon arriving at the grand castle of dark stones like the night sky of the Wayne royal family, and wow, that was huge compared to the castle I called home, and a little bit scary to be honest. Through the carriage window I could see the sun going through the clouds, I look at the phone to check the time and it was already 3:37 pm. As soon as the carriage stops I open the door, and oh, the outdoors, I couldn't stand being confined anymore.

I look back and notice that the other carriages were also stopping, I think I must mention that there were many carriages that came so much from my kingdom, as for the allied kingdoms, not to mention that there were other carriages that appeared to be guests from the kingdom of Gotham.

I don't know how long I stood looking at the whole place, but I came back to reality when I noticed that the driver was calling me.

- Is your Highness okay? - He looked concerned as he unhorsed the horses.

- Yes Matt, everything is fine, and please call me y / n. - I give him a half smile, while responding in a gentle way, or at least as much as I could do with my bad mood.

- Okay, y/n.

I realize that my family was near the grand entrance to the castle, waiting for me to join them, and this is what I did, even if against my will. It was not long before soon what I assumed to be King Bruce Wayne appeared to welcome us, and wow, as all of this was not at all fake, two kingdoms that were at war until a few weeks ago act as if they were always friends, that was unbearable and made me sick.

- King f/n, queen m/n! It is a pleasure to have you in our kingdom. - A pleasure? A pleasure to have your enemy here on your land? How I hate politics and this blatant falsehood.

- It is a pleasure to finally talk to you diplomatically King Bruce. - My dad shook his hand, and Bruce hugged my mom and kissed her hand.

I was the one behind, preventing people from seeing me, I am simply taken out of my "comfort" when my father calls me to approach and greet the king.

- So you must be the princess y / n, it is a pleasure to meet you. - He says as he kisses my hand gently, and I could feel my face heat up, both nervousness and shyness, how, urgh, seriously did he have to be so handsome? I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but see that detail, even though I hated him, I had to admit that he was a very handsome king.

I mentally punched myself for having these thoughts, first: you can't fall in love with him, no, not even thinking, that would be absurd, second: AGE AHEM. third: um, I don't, just no, that wasn't right. But what's wrong with finding someone good-looking, isn't it? Was your son that handsome too?

Y / N, REMEMBER EVERYTHING THAT THEY HAVE DONE, THEY BE GOOD-LOOKING DOESN'T CHANGE IT, FOCUS AND RESPONSE THE KING BEFORE SHIT HAPPENS.

- I-It's a pleasure to meet yo-you too. - Damn, why do I have to stutter just now, y / n, get yourself together!

- I'm sure Jason will be very happy to meet you. - Jason? I didn't remember exactly the name of my future husband, in fact I don't remember even if they told me his name, but from the way the king spoke, it is probably him.

- Hope so. - Actually my desire was to answer: Ah, what a pity, I don't have that same pleasure, and I'm almost sure that in fact he won't be happy to meet me. But diplomacy, I didn't want to be the cause of a new war.

King Bruce also shakes my brother's hand, and then invites us to enter his "humble" castle, he didn't say that, but well, never mind. I was impressed, not only was the outside of the castle impressive, but inside, it was just magnificent, they had good taste.

The king gave us a brief tour of the places we passed until we reached our rooms, he said that we would see each other later.

My nerves were on edge, there were so many feelings, nervousness, anxiety, fear, maybe anger too. I was not able to spend much time alone as soon as several different servants came bringing my things, so much so that I would get ready for the wedding, so much my personal belongings that would probably stay there from now on.

After they left I went to the bathroom to take a shower, and then I got dressed, while I was still wearing a towel I just looked at the white dress in front of me, it was beautiful, made with the best fabrics, and made just for me, the way I always dreamed.

I always imagined wearing a dress like that at my wedding with Hunter, and knowing that I was marrying a complete stranger knowing only what people told me about him, which I must say, weren't very good things, they disturbed me even more.

Until now, reality had not reached me as much as that moment, and soon I began to think not only about the wedding that would take place in a few hours, but the one after. It was tradition for the couple to have sex right after the wedding, and it made me even more nervous, not just because I never did it before, but also because I didn't want it to be forced, I wanted… to be passionate, even if it was clumsy, but it was good, and I'm sure that something forced and that neither wants, isn't really a good thing. And I was sure he would probably want me to have sex with him, and it terrified me.

But there was nothing I could avoid, the only thing I could do was to accept it, what if he wasn't so bad? What I heard were rumors, what if they were a lie? I really wanted to believe that, but I knew that maybe I was just lying myself to think about it.

I look at my bags, what if I ran away? I mean, nobody there in that village knew me, so they probably wouldn't recognize me, and that would give me an opening to escape, where to? I don't know, but it sure would be better than here.

I put on some clothes that nobody thought a princess would normally wear, I grab a hooded sweatshirt to try to hide my face, I also go back to the bathroom and turn on the shower, when I leave I close the door, it wouldn't last long until someone realizes , and I'm sorry planet for wasting this water, but it will give me some time.

When I leave the room I look everywhere, I didn't know anything about it, but I was sure I could find a way out. I was careful that no one noticed me, and as I often go unnoticed, it helped me.

It took a while, but I found a way out, and soon I headed towards the village that was there. I didn't have a plan, what would I do now? Maybe that idea was stupid, of course it was, but desperation does things to people, and I was really desperate.

I walked calmly through the crowd of people who were there, it seemed like there was a main street or something. As I walked I heard two women about my age commenting about the wedding.

- Hey, did you know that Prince Jason's wedding is today? - Said a woman with light blond hair to a shorter woman with black hair.

- Yes, it's a pity that he's getting married like that, I'm sure his wife must be awful.

- Clearly. I would certainly be a better wife, he certainly doesn't deserve this marriage.

- Yes, but she is a princess, and we are simple citizens, we would never have a chance.

- Yes, you're right. I wanted to have the chance to stay with him, have you seen those muscles? And those scars just make him hottest.

- Really do you think so?

- Of course. A man with scars is very sexy.

- Well, maybe.

- Ah, whoever she is, even if the prince doesn't deserve her, she is someone lucky. I would give anything to have the same chance.

I couldn't help laughing lightly and rolling my eyes, if she wanted to be with the prince so badly that she switched places with me? I'd be very happy. The two women realized my presence when I laughed and then look at me in bewilderment.

- Why are you laughing? - Asks with blond hair.

- Were you listening to our conversation? - Says the black-haired one.

- I'm sorry, I just heard by chance. - I shrugged

- Sure, tell another one. - The blonde says rolling her eyes and crossing her arms.

- How can you like this Prince Jason so much? - I ask curiously meddling in the conversation at both.

- It's none of your bitch business. - The black-haired one says.

- Huh, ok. But I’m pretty sure he’s not that great. Have you heard of the terrible murders he did? - If the two of them were already outraged and angry with me, they managed to get even more.

- Who are you to talk about Prince Jason? You certainly don't know anything about him. - The blonde says sharply, and clearly offended.

- Maybe. But what good could he have?

- What you heard was half true, because what he murdered were enemies and very bad people who deserved death and who threaten our kingdom, what he did was to protect the citizens. - The blonde replies, it looked like she was going to make a huge speech now about her dear Prince Jason.

- Of course. - I say rolling my eyes.

- Even more, Prince Jason is very kind to those who deserve it, is very protective and gives his life to save innocents and his people, he is sweet even if he doesn't seem at first. - The blonde continued to talk about the qualities of the prince that I doubted were real, until the sound of horses is heard not far from there, and his knights, masked and not very friendly people.

I don’t realize when a masked man attacked me from behind, I struggled and tried to scream, but he had covered my mouth, he then pushed me against a wall, grabbing my right arm which was hurting me, and with his other hand still covering my mouth, I was paralyzed for a few seconds, until I managed to react by kicking the weak point of the men, I run as much as I can to the furthest away.

There were a lot of people running and horses around, it was suffocating me, until someone hit me causing me to fall to the ground and a horse almost stepping on me, but he just stepped on my side, but it was still terrifying, I got up staggering, but as soon as I get up I come across a sword which was being wielded by one of those bandits. I swallow hard and raise my hands to try to protect myself, even if it was flawed.

If I stayed there he would probably attack me, but if I tried to run it would be useless, since he was on a horse, I didn't know what to do, and I didn't even know if I could do anything since I was paralyzed with fear.

But before that bandit could do anything I hear someone say: The royal cavalry! And then that guy who was pointing the sword at me had to defend himself against one of the royal knights. I walk backwards trying to get out of there, but guess what, I ended up stumbling on the sidewalk behind me and ended up falling on my ass.

I almost never participated in the fights because I didn't feel well being in these situations, the only times I ended up participating were some rare training sessions and a small invasion that took place in my kingdom many years ago.

My heart was beating so fast it felt like it would leave my body at any moment. I looked in the direction of the knight who had attacked the bandit in front of me, he looked different from the other warriors, while the entire cavalry wore black and white details on their armor, he wore a red that looked like the color of blood.

The bandits retreated and disappeared from the village, and as soon as they were gone I heard the voice of one of the knights announcing:

- Princess y/n, from kd/n kingdom is missing! And it's probably in the village! If you find a young woman who doesn't seem to be from here, let us know!

If my heart was already beating fast for the whole situation that just happened, somehow I was able to beat even faster, and I felt my face getting hot for some reason.

Obviously, sooner or later they would realize that I was gone and would go after me. I was still on the floor, without reaction, and soon I put on my hood to try not to be recognized, I notice that a crowd is forming near where that guy reported about me.

What did I do now? If I ran out, it was more than clear that they would notice me and talk to me, but if I stayed there, someone would soon find me. I didn't realize when that same knight with red accents came up to me, and wow, he was incredibly tall.

- Are you alright lass? - He speaks with his voice being muffled by the helmet, he extends his hand to me, offering his help for me to get up.

- Uhum. - I just hum in response and take your hand and get up. If I spoke he would notice my accent, and my "disguise" would be over.

- Are you sure you're okay? You are shaking. - I didn't even realize until he spoke, it was true, my body was shaking with all that adrenaline, I felt like my legs weren't going to hold my weight for long. I take a deep breath, trying to control myself, and answer a rather low yes, looking away from the crowd that was still forming not far from there. - Wait, princess?

I freeze, and look at him, how did he know? I was sure that no one knew about my appearance, maybe I was wrong about that.

- What? - I ask trying to disguise, but to no avail. - Stay here. - He spoke and then he went to the crowd, towards that other knight, he said something to him and then went to his horse, I knew there was no escape, so I just sighed and waited for that guy to come back.

What was I thinking? It was obvious that my plan couldn't have worked, it was silliness, it was reckless, it was very stupid. And now I wanted to hit my head against the wall for such idiocy.

The red knight turned his horse next to where I was, and then offered his hand so I climbed on the horse, I sighed upset but didn't resist, and soon climbed.

- Better hold on tight. - He said, and I could have sworn that under that helmet he was smiling, just a hunch. I did what he asked, even if a little hesitant at first.

It didn't take long for us to arrive at the castle, and as soon as we stopped at the entrance my parents were waiting for me, and with a not very happy face, of course, there was no way they would be happy after what I did. My dad helps me out of the horse, I almost fell, but it was close.

- What do you think you were doing y/n? - My mother asks angrily to me.

- I wanted to see the village, to get to know a little. - It was a lie, but should I say that I tried to escape? It was stupid, and I wasn't going to admit that I was going to do that.

- You might as well do that after the wedding! - She says even more angry, and clearly not believing my lie.

- Don't you understand?!? I feel suffocated all the time with this whole wedding thing here, and there, I just ... I just wanted to be alone for a while, or at least enjoy my last moments of freedom. - I say as tears of frustration start to fall. This part wasn't exactly a lie, I really just wanted to be alone for a while, just hoped it would last longer than it actually did.

- We were worried y/n! What could have happened? And why didn't you tell us? We would have let you go. - My father says approaching me.

- Of course, being followed by a guard all the time!! What a freedom huh. - I say looking away.

- This is for your protection! You aren't just anybody, you know very well what could have happened. - My mom comes over touching my arm.

- Don't touch me. - I walk away from them.

- There are only a few hours left before the ceremony begins, it is better to get ready. - My father says stiffly and soon he and my mother enter the castle again and I follow behind them, they took me to my room and left me there alone. In the end, all I did was in vain, I decide to take a shower again and get dressed soon.

After I put on the dress, some maids came to make up and do my hair. I was quiet all the time, just holding on to all the bitterness that I was felt. But this time I took the opportunity to think about the reason for this marriage, this was what would stop the war at once, people would be saved, blood will be prevented from being spilled even more than it already was, I had to do this for my people, who was the one who suffered the most from the whole war, even if I didn't want to, it was for a greater good, and I hoped it would really end the differences between our kingdoms.

After they finished doing my hair and putting a beautiful wreath on top of my head, I put on my white flats, I insisted that I keep flats because I found high heels uncomfortable, besides I don't balance myself very well in them. My mother insisted at first that I try, but I refused.

I looked in the mirror one last time, I was really beautiful, and I was happy about it. I soon hear a knock on the door, it was probably now.

- It's time, daughter. - My mother said entering the room, she was wearing one of the dresses that I had designed.

- Okay. - I sigh and go to the door, my mom takes me to where the ceremony would be and my dad was waiting for me at the big door that would soon be opened for me to enter.

- You look stunning daughter. - I wrap my free arm in my father's arm, and of course, in my left hand was a beautiful bouquet of f/f.

- Thank you dad. - I say a little discouraged.

- Come on, I'm sure your future husband isn't as bad as you think he is.

- Pff. - I say cynically, obviously not agreeing with my father's speech.

- Give him a chance. - He looked at me, begging me to at least try to make it work.

- Maybe. - I answer looking at the giant wooden door in front of me. I see out of the corner of his eye that he smiled at me.

The sound of the orchestra begins, and soon at the doors open, the bridesmaids with the boy who I supposed took the rings, entered in front of us, the boy passing by following the big red carpet to the altar where the priest and the bridegroom was, and the bridesmaids were soon after throwing flower petals.

I swallow hard, now it was my turn.

Everything there was so beautiful, everything adorned with the things I always dreamed of, thousands of people lifted from their seats in fancy clothes, looking at me as I passed the corridor, chandeliers that illuminate the whole place, and there at the end of the big rug was he on the altar, the man I didn't even know and who would be my husband, when I approached the altar my father kissed my cheek and soon went to join the other guests.

My heart was beating very fast, and I could feel my whole body shaking, my fiance took my hands and he must have noticed that they were shaking, he smiled at me to try to reassure me, I try to smile too, but I hope I have been a smile and not a grimace.

While the priest spoke a lot of things I was able to analyze the appearance of the man in front of me, he was much taller than me, he had a very muscular body and had some visible scars on his face, he had black hair that you could tell they were kind of curly, and his eyes, when I had the courage to look into his eyes, they were so pretty, a bluish green, that I even felt hypnotized, he must have realized I was analyzing him and smiled confident, my face soon starts to heat up and I look away from him.

I had to admit, he was really handsome. If what that woman had said about him was all true, maybe it wasn't so bad... was it? I expected it, but there was no way I could be sure now, and who knows when I would find out. Some more time passes and finally the time comes for the vows, where I started to get even more nervous, if that was possible.

- Jason and y/n, have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage? - When priest said, I wanted to answer, obviously it was not my will, this is an arranged marriage!

- Yes. - Jason and I answered at the same time and soon the priest continued.

- Will you honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?

- I will. - Sometimes I stutter to answer, and try to look away.

- Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church.

- Yes, we will.

The priest looked at Jason so he could speak his vows.

- I, Jason, take you, y/n, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. - He seems to have trained a lot, because at no point in his speeches did he stutter or appear to be uncertain about that.

I take a deep breath, remembering the words I had to say, please don't stutter now y/n. I hesitated for a moment, I looked at my mom and dad quickly, and then I looked at Jason.

- I, y/n, take you, Jason, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

- To show the commitment of both, to alliances. Alliances are physical symbols of a couple's commitment and their emotional and spiritual connection. They are considered a perfect circle, with no beginning or end. - The boy with a red pillow gives the rings to the priest, who before giving the rings, speaks.

- y/n and Jason, may these rings be a visible reminder of your feelings for each other right now. - Only if it is out of hatred for each other, because love I am sure it is not. - As you look at them, remember that you have someone special to share your life with. Remember that you have found each other and each in other, and that you will never walk alone again.

I could not prevent a tear from falling out of the corner of my eye, and every time I remember me "it is for the good of the people".

- y / n, I give you this ring as a sign that I chose you to be my wife and my best friend. Receive it and know that I love you. - I looked at my left hand while he put on the golden ring, it hurt to know that those words were false.

I took the other ring, and did the same with Jason.

- Jason, I give you this ring as a sign that I chose you to be my husband and my best friend. Receive it and know that I love you. - I stammered in parts, but that's okay. I looked at him awkwardly.

- Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. - The priest did a little pause and then continues. - y / n and Jason, no one but yourselves has the power to proclaim you husband and wife. However, you chose us as advertisers for this good news. And so, having witnessed your exchange of vows before everyone who is here today, it is with great joy that we declare that you are married. And to seal that moment, you can kiss.

Jason puts one hand awkwardly at the beginning around my waist, and the other holds my face, my hands wrap around his neck and so we kissed. It wasn't exactly a kiss, and there was certainly no passion, just nervousness and something awkward.

When we kissed I could hear the sound of the guests clapping. When we finished the kiss we smiled awkwardly at each other, Jason offers his arm for me to hold, and that's what I did, the bridesmaids went ahead of us, throwing more petals, while we both went out into the great hall.

Now it was official. I was married.

A/n - Phew, I finally finished. It took a long time, in fact, I was so entertained writing that I spent 5 hours writing non-stop, consequently I had a huge headache, but it was worth it, because I loved writing it, and I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

This was very hard, especially the translation part, since it has more than 5000 words, so it is very likely that it have English errors, and if you have found some, please let me know!

I would even divide this chapter into two or three parts, but I decided to leave it all together. So I hope you enjoy a long chapter.

I plan to start the next chapter soon, as I’m really inspired to write this, so it’s better not to lose the inspiration to write while it is here, isn’t it?

See ya!

Until the next cap!

- Ina -

Masterlist

163 notes · View notes

rosemarypasta · 4 years

Text

two slices of cake ♡ 1/2

➤ pairing : tsukishima kei x yamaguchi tadashi

➤ warnings : none

➤ tags: unrequited love, fluff, cafe employee yamaguchi, customer tsukishima

➤ summary : cafe part timer Yamaguchi Tadashi thought a love at first sight type scenario only existed in movies until he met a certain blonde customer who routinely buys two slices of strawberry shortcake in a to go box every Friday afternoon. Unable to bear with his massive one sided crush, his roommates got him to do something to start a relationship with the customer. But will his feelings be reciprocated?

➤ chapter word count : 4747

♡ masterpost ♡

-ˏˋ chapter one ˊˎ-

“Yamaguchi! The money!” The voice from the kitchen yelled out.

The green haired boy snapped out of his daydream from his superior’s yell, almost dropping loose change all over the counter. Blood rushed towards his face, turning it beet red. “P-Please come again.” Yamaguchi managed to say, a crooked smile on his face, as he handed the customer their change.

“Kuroo-san, I-I’m so sorry!” Yamaguchi turned immediately towards the kitchen to apologize to his boss after finally finishing with the final customer of rush hour. The black haired baker leaned against the doorway with a whisk and a metal bowl filled with whip cream, “It’s no biggie, but daydreaming in the middle of ringing up a customer? Even Bokuto has never done that before.” He chuckled at his new part timer. Yamaguchi looked down to his shoes as his red cheeks didn’t feel like it would be going away any time soon.

“Seems like you didn’t get enough sleep, Yamaguchi-kun,” The waiter hummed as he approached the counter, “What did you do last night?” A smirk evident on his face.

“Bokuto-san please refrain from teasing the newcomer.” The barista chimed in, his half lidded eyes stared at the waiter. Yamaguchi raised his head, opening his mouth to say that it was fine, trying to not escalate conflict in the place he just started working at for merely a week but no words came out, instead, the opening of the door echoed through the recently empty cafe. Yamaguchi turned on his heel and faced the customer, “Hello, welcome to Ca..”. Yamaguchi’s words trailed off as his eyes climbed up and saw the customer’s face.

“Can I have two slices of strawberry shortcake in a to go box please.” Yamaguchi watched as the pale pink lips uttered those words quickly as if he had the sentence memorized like the back of his hand. Yamaguchi’s eyes panned up to meet the customer’s golden ones. His pale lids covered half of his brilliant uninterested eyes.

Yamaguchi watched as he batted his light eyelashes a bit too hard, signaling him to proceed with his order already.

“C-coming right away, s-sir!” Yamaguchi ducked under the counter to find the to go box needed and he took the opportunity to take the deepest breath he has ever had. Though he probably inhaled too hard which caused him to have a small coughing fit as he rummaged around for the cardboard box. Without hesitation, he took the box and slid over to the glass case where the cakes were being displayed. Carefully, but as quickly as he could, he scooped the two slices of snow white cakes into the box. He made sure to give the customer the ones with the plumpest strawberries out of them all.

He brought the box back to the waiting customer and closed it up in front of him. “T-That will be 765 yen in total sir.” Though before Yamaguchi could even finish his sentence, the blonde customer’s hand was already on the counter with the exact amount of money.

“Thanks.” He mumbled, taking the box in his hands before turning on his heel and walking out the door without missing a beat.

Yamaguchi sighed as he watched the blonde’s head disappear into the crowd outside. He didn’t know how long he had been staring out the glass door but he figured it was a minute too long as Bokuto’s forced cough was the one to snap him back to reality. “You good dude?” Bokuto snickered, going around the counter to rest his arm on Yamaguchi’s shoulder.

Yamaguchi clocked out from the cafe that night with a fuzzy feeling he has never experienced before in his head and a vivid image of the customer’s piercing golden eyes.

“Thank you, come again.” Yamaguchi said with a smile plastered across his face for the twelfth time that hour. He was relieved to see there weren't any more customers to serve and slid down to sit under the counter. He wasn’t the type to hate socializing with people but jobs in customer service never fails to suck the soul out of their workers. It has been the twelfth female customer that hour. Yamaguchi surely won’t complain about his work as much if he at least got to see some eye candy, just like the tall blonde customer he served exactly a week ago. No matter how much he tried to get him out of his head, he still lingered in his mind whenever and wherever. In classes, at work, when he’s trying to fall asleep, he’s always seeing his face. But could you blame him? He was the epitome of Yamaguchi’s type. Tall, broad shoulders, fluffy blonde hair he’d just absolutely love to ruffle his hands in. He had on thin gold glasses that framed his face perfectly. Even just thinking about him just made him burn up.

“Akaashi-san, where’s the cashier?”

“The cashier? Yama-”

Yamaguchi recognized the customer’s voice right away. He immediately brushed his apron and stood up to face the blonde customer he has been dying to see all week. Is he a regular? Is that why he knew the barista’s name? He wanted to ask him so many questions but tried his best to refrain himself as he knew the customer would call the police if he actually did.

“H-Hi! Yes, um, sorry, what would you like to have?”

“Two slices of strawberry shortcake in a to go box please.” He recited his order to which Yamaguchi suppressed a laughed at. Yamaguchi has replayed the whole interaction he had with the customer multiple times a day for the past week to the point where he remembers every single word he let out of his mouth. It felt like no time had passed and Yamaguchi was replaying the same exact scenario from the previous week.

“Coming right away.” Yamaguchi managed to let out a soft smile, though he was trying his best not to giggle.

Yamaguchi chose the slices of cake and put it in the designated box in the same manner as the previous week, hoping that it would create a spell that would never let this moment end. Or at least let the same exact moment happen again the next week.

Time had passed though quickly with Yamaguchi’s busy schedule, he had barely noticed that it had been months since he started working at the cafe. He was ready to have a busy lifestyle once he started university classes but he underestimated how draining the classes were compared to his old high school ones.

Though, after a rough week of lectures and group projects, he waltzes into his Friday part time shift with butterflies in his stomach as he knew who he would be seeing that afternoon. Normally, his shifts would deplete all energy he had left during that day but that wasn’t the case for Friday shifts, in fact, seeing that blonde customer fills his heart with so much joy, he felt like the whole week worth of both university and cafe work just disappears into thin air.

Yamaguchi ran to work right after his final lecture ended. He could feel faint wet drops on his shoulder as he dashed through the diminishing bustling street but he couldn’t care less, he would finally be able to see the blonde customer after a rough long week.

“Ah, Yamaguchi-kun! You made it before the storm.” Kuroo, who took up the cashier work when Yamaguchi wasn’t around, called out as Yamaguchi stepped foot in the cafe, who was gasping for air after his run. “Hurry up and c’mere! I got a batch of cream puffs ready to go in the oven.”

“Storm? What stor-” Yamaguchi’s question was quickly answered by the vicious sound of rain drops crashing down the concrete outside.

The cafe was the most deserted it has ever been since Yamaguchi started working there. Despite it being a small cafe, it’s quite popular with women of all ages and since Yamaguchi always worked after classes, he always ended up with the afternoon shifts which are the times where the cafe would be jammed packed with customers.

With no customers, Bokuto and Kuroo decided to keep themselves entertained by playing multiple rounds of uno while Akaashi resorted to cleaning his coffee machineries. It was by far the most peaceful shift Yamaguchi has ever had but he couldn’t help but feel restless. The blonde customer was surely not going to stop by. What if he stops going to the cafe all together? The uncertainty of not knowing anything about the blonde customer was driving him insane. He didn’t even know his name or number. All he knew was that he would always come to the cafe around five on Fridays to buy two slices of cake in a to go box. Yamaguchi sighed loudly as he rested his head on the cool marble counter, not worrying about the noise as he knew the rain outside would mask his despair.

“Um, you guys are still open right?”

Yamaguchi’s eyes widened in disbelief. He slammed his two hands on the counter, pushing his face up and off the counter. His eyes were unexpectedly blessed with the sight he has longed for the past week. The tall blonde customer stood in front of the door soaked. His face was contorted in frustration as he tried his best to fold his busted dripping umbrella.

“Bo, get the towels.”

“N-No you don’t need to do that pleas-”

“I’ll get them!” Yamaguchi enthusiastically jumped up before diving in the kitchen to get towels for the soaking customer. He grabbed one of the clean towels Kuroo liked to use to wipe off batter and whip cream off himself when his baking goes wrong, and burst out the kitchen as fast as he could.

“Here.” Yamaguchi without thinking, draped the fluffy fabric around the taller customer’s neck. “Thanks?” The customer replied, his odd tone made Yamaguchi realize what he had done and made his face completely beet red in a split second.

“A-Ah! I’m s-so sorry!” Yamaguchi’s flustered words barely got out between his incoherent forms of panic. The green haired part timer bent his body and bowed towards the customer. Yamaguchi didn’t know what to expect next but he knew a laugh would be the last thing to hear from him. Yamaguchi raised his head back in confusion. His heart skipped a beat as he watched the customer he had such an intense one sided crush on chuckling right in front of him.

“Don’t worry about it,” He said softly, unlike his usual expressionless manner, “but truly though, thanks.”

Yamaguchi felt like a cupid had struck an arrow straight through his heart. He didn’t know he could fall even more in love with someone he barely knew.

“Would you like some coffee so you can warm yourself up?” Akaashi offered, an empty cup already in his hand. Akaashi’s eyes were urging the younger boy to accept but the latter declined. “No thank you, I can’t stay, I gotta go after I get the ca-'' He shook his head at the barista but his sentence was cut short by a loud sneeze to which Akaashi replied by staring at him with an “I told you so” face.

“Fine, but i’ll take it to go.” He stubbornly grumbled at the now smiling barista. He then turned to the still flustered Yamaguchi, handing him the damp towel. “Can I get the usual please?” He muttered, rubbing his nose.

“In a to go box?” Yamaguchi, who’s heart fluttered at the word “usual”, smiled, to which the customer smiled back as a reply.

Yamaguchi skipped to the kitchen to dispose of the towel and got to work. He ducked below the counter to reach for the box like he did every Friday afternoon and walked over to the display box to get the cakes.

From the way Kuroo and Akaashi acted, it seems like it wasn’t the first time this customer turned up like that. What relationship do they have? The whole interaction was bittersweet. He got to speak more with Tsukishima and even got to see him smile but got a dash of jealousy as well.

Yamaguchi shook his head at himself. He couldn’t believe he was getting that possessive over someone he doesn’t even know. He sighed at his foolish behaviour as he closed up the box.

“Here, it’s on the house.” Akaashi handed the customer a paper cup with wispy smoke coming out of the opening which made Yamaguchi’s heart twitch. “H-here.” Yamaguchi mumbled as he handed the box with both his hands.

“Ah, Tsukishima, that’ll also be on the house.” Kuroo yelled out from the far corner of the cafe, his eyes still engrossed in the uno game he was still playing with his waiter. “It’s a thanks for always supporting us.” He winked.

“Tsukishima? his name? They’re already friendly enough to not even use honourifics ” Yamaguchi’s heart yelled out.

“What? That makes no sense. Then I wouldn’t be supporting you if I got this for free.”

“Just take the cake and run, Tsukishima, at least Kuroo’s being nice to you.” Bokuto huffed, “This stingy boss even charges me for the water I drink at work.” He grumbled behind his fastly increasing hand of cards.

“Bokuto-san too?!”

“Er..thanks I guess.” Tsukishima sighed, pressing his cold palm onto the steaming paper cup. He turned to the window in front of the cafe to see the rain slowly letting up, to Yamaguchi’s disappointment. “I better get going, can I borrow an umbrella?” Tsukishima said as he pointed at the umbrella stand filled with stray umbrellas customers have left behind which have become a lost and found corner and a collection the staff created over the years.

Tsukishima began to fish through the array of half broken umbrellas as he saw the black haired owner nod. He took an olive green umbrella from the stand and turned to face the staff.

“Thank you everyone.” He said, bowing slightly. He only raised his head for a split second before exiting the cafe but Yamaguchi swore he caught a smile on his face.

As soon as Yamaguchi opened his front door, he dropped all his belongings and raced to jump face down to the empty couch. Grabbing one of the decorative pillows, he shoved his face into it and screamed to his heart’s content. Yamaguchi swung his feet as his heart fluttered at the encounter with Tsukishima.

“He has finally gone insane.” A voice murmured among the muffled screams from behind the couch. Yamaguchi removed the pillow from his face to glare at the source of voice. “Kageyama, should I call the cops?” A brighter voice said though Yamaguchi wasn’t liking the topic of the conversation.

“Yamaguchi, you don’t even know his name.” Yamaguchi’s raven haired roommate grumbled, getting fed up with the green haired boy’s behaviour.

“That’s not true anymore, idiot.” Yamaguchi hummed, sticking a tongue at him. Both of his roommates’ eyes widened at this new discovery. “WHAT! What’s his name! Did you ask him? Did he find it weird?” The orange haired boy eagerly asked to the point where he was climbing over the couch, body sprawled over the empty part where Yamaguchi didn’t occupy.

“Hinata pipe down! And I obviously didn’t ask him!” Yamaguchi threw the pillow in his hands right to Hinata’s face. “I um…” Yamaguchi started to explain how he got to know his name but remembered exactly how he did.

“You what?” Kageyama walked over beside the coffee table to sit on the floor, not even denying that he was in fact interested in his friend’s love life anymore unlike the past two weeks.

“My coworkers already knew his name and I...overheard them.” Yamaguchi sighed, taking back the pillow to squish his face back in it.

“Oh.” The two roommates said in unison though their tones contrasted greatly.

“What with the sad oh? Kageyama, don’t infect Yamaguchi with your negativity.” Hinata pouted, shooing Kageyama away from the conversation with his hand. “Name one retail employee that knows you well enough to know your name, you simpleton idiot.” Kageyama barked back, slamming his hands on the floor with no intention of going.

“That’s easy, Sato-san from seven eleven, Suzuki-san from the campus starbucks, Takashi-san from the cafe down the street-”

“The cafe down the street?! It just opened two days ago- ugh never mind, you’re just odd and freakishly social.” Kageyama sighed as he rubbed his temples from talking to his polar opposite of a roommate.

“Anyway, why does it matter if they have more than a typical customer-employee relationship? As long as they aren’t dating then you’ll be able to squeeze information out of them right?” Hinata leaned back to the plush couch, letting the soft material engulf his body, content after winning the argument.

Yamaguchi sat upright and threw himself at his redhead roommate, “You’re right! Thank you so much for being my roommate, Hinata, I probably would’ve gone insane if it were only me and Kageyama here.”

“Hey! I’m still here, idiot.” Kageyama snapped.

Yamaguchi went to bed with a foolish smile on his face. Grinning from ear to ear as he dived under the covers of his bed. He let his head be consumed with silly thoughts of Tsukishima and drove himself to sleep.

“Hello everyone!” Yamaguchi pushed open the door to begin his morning Saturday shift, greeting his seniors who are already busy with work even prior to opening the cafe. Yamaguchi always came in with a smile but this time he was truly grinning from ear to ear and it was very hard to miss. Akaashi, Bokuto and Kuroo all exchanged glances.

“Someone’s happy.” Bokuto started as he wiped the tables, his eyes, and the other two’s as well, trailed the university student who was skipping towards the storage room to get his uniform.

“Ah...youth.” Kuroo sighed, continuing to sweep the floors. Yamaguchi popped out moments later still with the same smile on his face, making his co-workers even more curious than before. “So are you going to tell us what happened or?” Bokuto’s brows raised at the younger boy.

“Oh..um, it’s kind of embarrassing so..” Yamaguchi’s cheeks tinted pink as he rubbed the back of his neck, giggles slipping in between his words.

“You got a girlfriend didn’t ‘cha?” The duo haired waiter sneered, sliding beside Yamaguchi to wrap his big arm around Yamaguchi’s small body, bringing him close to ruffle his green locks roughly. “H-huh? No! That’s not it! It’s nothing like that!” Yamaguchi managed to cough out as his head was still under attack by Bokuto’s absurdly big hands.

Bokuto pulled him away momentarily to look him in the eyes, “Then, what is it?” Bokuto asked once again with curiosity filled to the brim. “W-Well I guess it’s something like that...B-But it still isn’t that!” Yamaguchi frantically answered as he started to feel Bokuto’s piercing gaze stab through him.

“Bokuto-san. Stop it.” Akaashi, who was not up to deal with Bokuto’s antics so early in the morning, scorned from the opposite side of the cafe. Bokuto pouted and stuck a tongue out to Akaashi childishly before letting the smaller boy go. Yamaguchi then walked over behind the counter to prepare for the opening. He didn’t have much to do other than make sure no money left from the previous day was in the cash register so he ended up watching his other co-workers do their tasks. Yamaguchi’s brown eyes panned to the bar on the right side of the counter that was filled with various shiny machineries. He watched as the older man wiped down the metal parts diligently with a yellow cloth. His toned arm and biceps were showcased as he rolled up the sleeves of his white uniform to prevent them from getting dirty. Yamaguchi could feel his drool pouring out of the corner of his mouth.

If it weren’t for Tsukishima, Yamaguchi would probably head over heels for Akaashi.

Yamaguchi’s eyes widened at the foreign thought and mentally slapped himself at his absurd thoughts. Was he that depraved of Tsukishima that he started to move on to other guys for attention?

“Idiot.” He swore to himself under his breath.

“Is there something wrong?” The very man Yamaguchi had his eyes on suddenly appeared beside him with a concerned look on his face.

“Ah! A-Akaash-” Yamaguchi yelped out, flustered as the stool he was sitting on tipped backwards from the sudden jolt of movement.

Yamaguchi looked into his co-worker’s sympathetic yet confused eyes as the thought he has been obsessing over came into mind. Akaashi would be the perfect person to ask about Tsukishima. Not only does Tsukishima knows his name, he would probably not make fun of him for asking about the blonde customer. Knowing his other colleagues, Kuroo and Bokuto, they would probably laugh at him and bring it up every shift Yamaguchi worked.

Yamaguchi mentally thanked Kuroo for actually hiring at least one normal employee.

“Akaashi-san do yo-”

Just as Yamaguchi managed to muster up courage to ask the barista about Tsukishima, the bell attached to the front door rang, commencing the busy shift Yamaguchi had ahead of him.

Yamaguchi had always worked Saturday shifts but that day was by far the most hectic one he has ever gone through. Throughout the whole five hours he worked, he could barely take a sip of water, causing his raspy and dry voice to peek out every two customers. He rubbed his back as he walked home under the striking hot 1 PM sunshine, occupied by his pain rather than the one thing he forgot to do that shift.

“I’m home.” He groaned out as he opened the door to his shared apartment.

“Ah! Yamaguchi! How did it go?” Two heads peaked out the hallway as soon as Yamaguchi stepped foot in the apartment.

“Huh? What’re you talking about?” Yamaguchi said absent mindedly as he attempted to shake off his sneakers off his sore feet.

“That dude, Tsukijenga, did you at least get his first name or number or something like that?” The taller of the three chimed in, trying to contain his interested face.

“It’s Tsukishima.” The green haired boy yawned before his memories dawned upon him. “AH!” He yelled with his eyes wide open, dropping his keys on the floor melodramatically, “I forgot.”

He and his other two roommates sighed.

Three weeks passed by and to Yamaguchi’s frustration, absolutely no progress has been made. He didn’t know what to expect. Of course, Tsukishima wasn’t going to suddenly act all buddy-buddy with him just because of that time in the storm. He knew he wasn’t the social type like Hinata to begin with so he wanted to slap himself across his face for getting his own hopes up.

However, Yamaguchi felt more motivated than ever. Each night for the past week, Hinata and Kageyama had him cooped up in Hinata’s room to build up his courage to say something to Tsukishima. Anything that would trigger some action in their “relationship”. Yamaguchi felt ridiculous that he was being coached by the two biggest idiots with zero relationship experience but he had to admit, it did have an effect on him.

“See you next week, Yamaguchi!” His friend yelled out after the last professor of the day dismissed the class of freshmen students. Ecstatic that the week is finally over, Yamaguchi and the rest of his class packed all their belongings and bolted out the room. Only one thing occupied his mind as he made his way to the cafe.

He was going to ask him for his number.

Yamaguchi knew it was bold of him to even think about asking for Tsukishima’s number considering that he probably didn’t even know Yamaguchi’s name but he was determined. Anyway, if all fails, he was ready to change jobs, skip town and change his whole identity.

Each step he made felt oddly light though his lungs didn’t support that claim. He rushed through the shopping district under the blooming cherry blossom trees, pink flower petals trailing him as he rushed through the streets. He looked up to the bright blue sky to calm himself down before entering the cafe to start his long awaited shift.

“Thank you, please come again.” Yamaguchi bid farewell to the last customer in line. He tapped his foot in anticipation of the blonde customer, locking his eyes on to the door he hoped to swing open soon. He felt like he could burn a hole on the door if it weren’t for his phone beeping with a notification, averting his attention.

Hinata: Is he there yet?

Hinata: Did you ask him for his number yet?

Hinata: YAMAGUCHI REPLY !!!

He typed out a hasty response with his trembling fingers.

Yamaguchi: not yet, shut up for a sec :(

Yamaguchi: I’m already nervous as shit and you’re not helping !!

Yamaguchi borderline threw his phone under the counter as he heard the chimes of the bell attached to the front door. He briefly cleared his throat before facing up to meet the customer’s golden eyes.

“H-Hello, welcome.” Yamaguchi smiled, fiddling with his hands under the counter. Tsukishima gave a small smile back before crouching slightly towards the glass case to look at the cakes offered that day. Yamaguchi didn’t know why he even bothered to check the cake display every time if he was going to order the same exact thing anyway but he didn’t mind at all since it gave him a chance to look at him more without him knowing. Though Yamaguchi’s eyes caught something pink on top of the blonde’s head as he crouched down. He giggled as he burnt the image of a single flower petal in the middle of the blonde’s curls.

Yamaguchi’s eyes followed the petal as Tsukishima raised his head again. The pink petal slid down to settle snugly in between the curls beside his left ear. Yamaguchi suppressed a laugh by biting his lip.

“Do I have something on my face?” Tsukishima raised his brow in curiosity at the distracted employee.

“Ah, sorry! I-It’s just that um…” Yamaguchi replied. He hesitated before leaning against the counter before slowly retrieving the petal from Tsukishima’s hair. He leaned back and showed it to the confused customer to which he reacted unexpectedly to.

“A-Ah..Thank you.” Yamaguchi watched as the blonde’s usually composed face flushed bright red. His eyes began to shift away from Yamaguchi and his ears began to feel oddly hot. Yamaguchi felt like he had internally combusted at the sight of the flustered customer. He knew his own cheeks were mirroring the same red tint his customer had.

“The usual...please…” Tsukishima mumbled. Yamaguchi nodded slowly before rushing over to get the order. He didn’t know he would be able to ask Tsukishima for his number at that point. Both parties were far too flustered and Yamaguchi certainly didn’t want to make Tsukishima more uncomfortable than he should be. Besides, Yamaguchi would definitely stutter and fumble his words up before he can even reach the word “number”.

Then a bright idea came into his mind.

He delicately placed the two slices of perfectly white cakes into the box but didn’t close it up right then and there like usual. Yamaguchi hesitated before picking up his marker, glancing at the customer in front of the empty cash register. He couldn’t see it when he was right in front of Tsukishima but now that he was in front of the glass case, he could see the blonde customer fiddling with his own fingers under Yamaguchi’s line of sight back in his original spot. Yamaguchi bit his tongue hard, trying his best to not let a squeal out. It was truly the cutest sight he has ever seen.

Yamaguchi grabbed a couple of tissues and set them on the counter. He uncapped the black marker he had in his hand and was determined to write his own number on the tissue. His hands were shaking, causing the ink to form incoherent symbols instead of his number. He was about to discard it and try again but he caught Tsukishima peeping towards Yamaguchi to see what was taking him so long so without thinking further, he shoved the stack of tissues, including the one he scribbled in, into the box.

“Here you go, come again!” He said as he gave out the box with his still shaky hands.

next: -ˏˋ chapter two ˊˎ-

taglist (open):

@teasbees-knees @yeetabish

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fitnessgeekandcoffeefreak · 4 years

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30 day reset recap:

To say that I have had a difficult time juggling life during this entire Covid season might be an understatement. I am an emotional everything. Emotional eater. Emotional sleeper. Emotional exerciser (totally a word). I did not take care of myself well these past few months. And I knew I wasn’t. When you let yourself stay in survival mode for too long then it no longer becomes just a “mode” it becomes the norm. I started making small changes to my fitness regime and nutrition a few months ago and I was definitely feeling better at times. But, I also know myself. And I know that I need some strict guidelines and goals to restructure my good habits. I finally felt like I could do a hard reset in the middle of September, so that’s what I did. I did try to go on my desktop to insert a “read more” but apparently they're having issues 🤷. This post is mostly about accountability with myself.

30 day goals:

Nutrition:

* Eat every meal (breakfast, lunch, and dinner)

* Eat fruit/veggies with every meal

* No sugar, grains, and limited dairy

* No after dinner, mindless, snacking

* 100+ oz of water each day

* 4 “free” meals for the month

Fitness:

* One mile each day (Sundays off if I wanted)

* 3x weights/HIIT each week

Life:

* Guard my alone time and don’t feel bad about

* 7-8 hours of sleep

* Weekly date nights

* At least one meal a day with the entire family

* Use my planner

* Take every cake possible, ha ha

Nutrition went pretty well. I found new recipes without traditional flour to replace things that I normally would like. Because I suffer with chronic inflammation I had to make the switch to remove grains, sugar, and dairy. Sugar is always going to be difficult for me to cut out, because of my job, but I was just shoving extra pieces of cake in my mouth when I got over-tired, or over-hungry. I am more mindful now. I am NOT gonna die in the 30 minutes it takes to throw together a healthy meal with actual food value. As much as I’d like to believe you can live on cake and coffee, it simply isn’t true. I didn’t really have a problem withmy water goal and will definitely continue that goal. I did take 2 extra “free” meals for the month. Do I feel a little bad about it? Yeah. Will I plan better next month? Definitely.

Exercise went VERY well. Food has always been my struggle area, so when I started to let my fitness slack I was literally getting mad at myself. I saw improvement each week with my exercise. This week I even completed an entire 50 minute HIIT. I certainly couldn’t have done that a month ago.

My goals for my general life were actually the most tough to stay consistent on. My boys both started college up again. Everything is online so my alone time is non-existent. I would not trade this time, however. I know that they will be moving out in a few years, so I will adjust my schedule for the time being. We did more meals together and are doing a Friday night pizza night every week, which they look forward to. I have spent more time teaching them how to cook their own meals, and they put together meals for the entire family too. I am definitely not sleeping well, but I also don’t know how to fix that one right now. Life as a cake artist has been SO rewarding. I have taken as many orders as I knew I could handle (and a little bit extra on a few weeks, let’s be honest.) My business has grown so much this year and I really do feel fortunate that I am able to set my own schedule, do a job that lets me be creative, and lets me stay home. I am starting to be able to plan and juggle my decorating schedule around my family a bit better. I just need to continue to set boundaries in that area.

All in all I ended the month about 6 pounds lighter. I, of course, wanted more, but I will be making new goals for November to achieve a little more weight loss. I feel good about what I accomplished. I feel better about myself. I don’t hate what I see in the mirror like I did a month ago. There are some things I have simply had to cut out, and other things I have had to try a little harder at. Making changes is hard. Don’t let the internet people try to tell you it’s easy. Good grief, if you read all of this you are my new best friend!

#workouts #nutrition #30 reset #october 2020

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dokidokivisual · 3 years

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Gochiusa BLOOM episode 9 impressions

Previously: 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1

That’s right, the long-awaited review of episode 9 is finally here! I haven’t managed to finish it last week and kind of lost motivation since almost nobody reads these anyway, but there we go. Not sure what I’m going to do with the remaining episodes at this point, maybe I’ll combine 10 and 11 together?

The episode starts with a flashback from Chiya and Sharo’s childhood which shows the origin of Anko’s crown. The scene is “shot” in widescreen aspect ratio, a technique that I don’t remember being used before in Gochiusa anime, such as during the previous Chiya/Sharo flashback in Season 2 Episode 9.

I’d like to bring the attention to the opening shot of flowers, which are periwinkles (Vinca major). As you might know, Japanese media often uses the flower language, or hanakotoba which assigns specific meanings to various flowers. The meanings of greater periwinkle are “pleasant memories” and “childhood friends”, which seems to apply rather well here. In fact, if you see a shot of flowers in an anime, there’s a very high chance they have a relevant meaning in hanakotoba.

Of course I couldn’t help but look up chamomile as well, and its meaning seems to be “patience in the face of adversity”...

It seems that Chiya has now lost the crown, but it’s honestly surprising how it stayed on Anko all this time considering he has been carried away by crows and dropped from the sky more than once. Also, I feel like revealing the crown is lost so early in the episode deprives the viewers from being able to spot it on their own, just by seeing crownless Anko in various scenes (as has been done in the manga chapter).

In Chiya’s class there’s an election for picking the candidate from the class for the student council president position. The only two people competing are Chiya and the class president (who doesn’t have a name and referred to only as Iincho). In a surprising turn of events, Chiya gets 16 votes versus 14 votes for the prez (refer to the tally mark chart in episode 3 review), which means there are at least 30 people in the class.

Imagine losing a popularity poll to Chiya. The prez is a tragic character...

Cocoa volunteers to be Chiya’s “producer”, but Chiya calls her “First Lady” which totally means she wants to marry her. By the way, it was Cocoa who nominated Chiya for the election, which I don’t think is mentioned in the anime. In general, this particular chapter has been rearranged rather heavily for the adaptation with things happening in a completely different order, so it’s quite interesting to compare the two versions.

For example, when we see Chiya coming up with the names of various student committees, it seems like a completely natural and Chiya thing to do. It’s hard to believe that in the manga, it is Sharo who comes up with the idea of renaming all the committees. In fact this particular Chiya/Sharo tête-à-tête is not in the manga at all. However it’s an important scene to establish Sharo’s feelings towards Chiya’s presidential ambitions and she doesn’t seem too happy about them, in fact she doesn’t even congratulate Chiya.

Next we have another anime-original scene where Chiya goes to accessories store (from episode 6) to find a replacement for Anko’s crown. It should be pointed out that the design of the crown itself is not completely arbitrary. It features a moon crescent, which symbolizes night (the last character 夜 of Chiya’s name) but is also associated with Arabic world. The closest thing to Anko’s crown I could find is this heraldic crown of the King of Egypt. Anyway, this is also a reference to Chiya’s name, namely it being derived from Japanese name for 1001/Arabian Nights 千夜一夜物語 (Sen’ya Ichiya Monogatari).

Meanwhile Rize is trying to change image to be more like a college student, notices Chiya and asks to make her an adult (phrasing?). As a result, we get an appearance from Rize’s alter-ego Rose for the first time since season 1 episode 9.

The interesting thing about Rose is that despite being featured in only a small number of chapters, she gets a mention in Rize’s character blurb in Manga Time Kirara MAX until this day. It literally takes like a third of her character description!

Anyway, this scene is just a prelude for the adaptation of chapter 2 of volume 7 which is named after a Rize character song 鏡合わせのアンビバレット. In the song, Rize tries on outfits in front of a mirror and tries to convince herself that it’s still her. The illustration for this chapter also shows Rose as a mirror image of Rize.

We see Sharo looking through a bookstore window, which I think also appears in the following episode, and this is a foreshadowing that she works here too. The bookstore is named “Dreamy Books” which is seen later in the scene.

Chiya and “Rose” appear and at first Sharo doesn’t recognize Rize, and only does after Rize points a finger gun at her. Well, it’s not like there is anyone else in this town having purple hair or anything.

By the way you might notice that compared to the last episode the characters are dressed much more warmly, which reflects the fact that it’s already December. Looking back at the scene in episode 8 where Rize and Chimame cross the bridge at night, it’s quite shocking how lightly they’ve been dressed there.

Chino and Cocoa come by, and recognize Rize as Rose. It’s lampshaded that the last time they’ve seen Rose was more than a year ago, so it’s quite impressive that they still remember her, as well as her promise to visit Rabbit House (in s1e9 she only visits Ama Usa An). Rize thinks it’s a good chance to “infiltrate” Rabbit House to see what the others think of her when she’s gone.

Rize’s infiltration goes relatively smoothly until Maya and Megu barge in and immediately recognize her. Chiya manages to get them to play along in time, however Megu makes up a ridiculous backstory painting Rose as a ballet kempo practitioner who fights an evil organization.

Aoyama Blue Mountain also backs up Rose’s existence, by mentioning that she is in her literature club and also does food reviews. She gives Rize a cheat sheet which seems to parody the tendency of food reviews to describe food as “melting in your mouth” (for example wagyu beef).

Later Rize ends up having a conversation with Chino where she reveals that Rize’s been taking more days off than usual and it gets lonely without her. She has also started lazing about in the sun, just like Cocoa does, which wouldn’t have happened if Rize has been around upholding the discipline. In the anime Rize doesn’t really react to this, but in the manga she seems a bit disappointed in Chino.

This scene is a callback to the very first episode of the show, where Rize pretends she can’t easily carry these bags of coffee beans, because they’re too heavy for a “normal girl” according to Cocoa. Soon after, Rize’s cover is blown after she reacts to an intruder who is just Takahiro.

It turns out that Cocoa has already recognized it’s Rize. One thing that Cocoa and Rize have in common is that they change hairstyles a lot compared to the other characters, so it makes sense that Cocoa would not be fooled by a simple hairstyle change... or would she? Shortly after Cocoa has a realization that Rose has always been Rize, which makes her feel really stupid... until she finds that Chino is still completely in the dark about everything. Maybe Chino has propagnosia, or inability to recognize faces? Anyway, Rize is quite supportive about it and asks Chino if she’s ok if she does image change in the future.

But there’s still one more twist in this chapter, since Cocoa’s sister Mocha makes an appearance! Considering she appears in the opening, this season hasn’t really done anything with her yet. But it turns out it’s just Cocoa in a wig (why does she even have a Mocha wig???), nevertheless she successfully fools Rize and Chino for a second. Maybe the last episode of the season will have real Mocha (I’m assuming she won’t be in the Christmas arc).

And we’re back to the student council election storyline. The “sandwich” composition where one story “wraps” another seems to be used a lot this season. In this case the stories have almost zero relation to each other so I don’t know why the episode had to be structured like this.

Chiya’s election poster (aside from Cocoa’s scribbles) follows a traditional Japanese election poster design, featuring a closeup photo of a politician, her name and a slogan (which implores you to vote like a shiratama dumpling for some reason). I feel like a poster like this prioritizes the looks of a politician over their policies or whatever, but maybe there’s some sort of election law that these posters have to follow.

Cocoa and Chino also wrote letters of endorsement for Chiya, although Cocoa’s was mostly written by Aoyama and was basically a food review. Chino not only made Chiya almost explode from praise, but also presented a verbal takedown of Cocoa on the fly. Later, Chiya makes a passionate speech trying to emulate Rize, but maybe Chino should’ve written that too.

Next I’d like to point your attention to the name of the dish that Chiya made to celebrate the occasion:

Aki no sora (in the autumn sky) Todoroku oto wa (a thundering sound is) Omedetai (auspicious)

If you count the syllables, you’ll find that it is actually a haiku. and it even includes a kigo (season word, “autumn in this case”). The final line is a pun, as tai indicates the presence of taiyaki (a bean paste filled cake shaped like a bream fish) in the dish.

Another anime-original scene appears to flesh out the episode’s “moral” and show how Ama Usa is where Chiya really shines. A bunch of old ladies (who seem like they starred in a Kirara manga a long time ago) enter the teahouse to celebrate the birth of a 5th grandchild for one of them. Cocoa also helps Chiya, donning the Ama Usa uniform once again.

Chiya sprinkles gold dust on her dish, doing her best “salt bae” expression. Pure gold is inert and as such can be safely eaten. In Japan, gold leaf is even added to tea, which might explain why Chiya has it.

As everyone is about to go home, Chiya’s grandma appears through a rarely-opened sliding window and offers some manju as a treat. In the anime this is how Sharo eventually discovers the lost Chiya’s crown, which her grandma uses as a hairpin (the hairpin functionality explains how this crown doesn’t fall off Anko). Surprisingly she doesn’t appear at all in the manga chapter, and Sharo just randomly finds the crown “outside”.

By the way, the text on the manju box says “congratulations on winning the election”, which might’ve been a bit premature.

Sharo goes to return the crown back to Chiya, and Chiya repeats Cocoa’s reaction from part A, which sounds like breakup song lyrics. This dialogue wasn’t in the manga in either scene and I think it was included to somehow tie the two parts together, and make the inability to notice something obvious that was around you the whole time the unifying concept of the episode.

For Chiya the crown was the symbol of ambition, and her dream to become the director of Ama Usa An and conquer the world. Sharo has a lot of drive to work multiple jobs, but doesn’t seem to have a goal she aspires to. When she finally gets an opportunity to move up the ranks, by becoming a student council president, she declines it. Living side by side with Chiya forever (zutto issho) seems to be the extent of her ambitions. Sharo feels betrayed by Chiya being ready to “leave” her and spend more time with student council than at her own restaurant.

After the ED we see the conclusion of this conflict. Sharo sees the preparations for celebrating the winner of the election, and begrudgingly congratulates Chiya. We see Cocoa, Rize and Chino helping out, but Sharo wasn’t even invited...

But it turns out class prez was the winner, after Chiya has declined the nomination. She probably had all the posters and speeches at the ready just in case, and didn’t have to prepare at all. In the manga, this is also where she returns Sharo’s uniform that she borrowed back in episode 4.

Meanwhile Chiya and Sharo have a talk and agree that it was the best for them to decline their nominations and they should stick with what they have. Not sure if that applies to Sharo though, she wasn’t really shown to be “shining” but more like “barely getting by”. There was also another reason in the manga for Chiya to agree it was the right choice: Chiya’s classmates totally trashed her menu names, which means they probably wouldn’t like her committee names either. Most of the classmates dialogue was cut out in the anime though.

So that was episode 9 and all that’s left for this season is a 2-episode Christmas arc and the season finale. Hope you enjoyed this review and until next time!

#gochiusa #gochuumon wa usagi desu ka?#is the order a rabbit?#review

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marmolady · 4 years

Text

The New Taylor: Part 1

READ PART 2 HERE

Book/Series: Endless Summer

Main Pairings: Estela x MC

Summary: (Endless Ending). Saving the world takes a lot out of a person. For Taylor, growing into her new self beyond La Huerta can only happen as fast as her exhausted body will allow her....

Word Count: 5541

Tagging: @saivilo, @edgydepressedchoicesthot, @sceptilemasterr, @greengroove

______

The light of the rising sun filtered through the thin curtains of Estela’s childhood bedroom, gently rousing Taylor from her slumber. She grumbled softly, nuzzling deeper into the pillow, and snuggling into her wife’s chest and belly. Somehow, she could just never get enough sleep. It was as if her body’s batteries were still relearning the art of recharging, some three?-- four now, weeks after Vaanu’s energy departed her. In exchange for looking forward to a lifetime of waking up in Estela’s arms, a little tiredness was a small price to pay.Some days, though, it felt like an insurmountable hurdle.

Full lips brushed Taylor’s cheek and jaw, whispers of kisses. How could she not smile? Her eyes opened to that beautiful, scarred face. “Mm… morning, babe.”

Estela beamed. It was hard not to when she had her arms around a miracle. Back home with her tio, the promise of a happy future was tangible, a hope that she could just about believe in.

“Good morning, hermosa.” She nibbled the lobe of Taylor’s ear. “Did you sleep better?”

Taylor yawned noisily, and took her time stretching out her body, enjoying the press of her back against her lover.

“Better, yeah.”

Nightmares had been an ongoing problem for Taylor for about as long as she could remember. Every now and then she’d have stretches where she couldn’t even seem to close her eyes without being bombarded. Images of her friends’ deaths… dying in a thousand different ways. The worst, though, the worst by far, was a memory of her own; Estela’s eyes going dull as she took a last, rattling breath, Taylor cradling her in blood-soaked arms. It haunted her in sleep; the feel of blood on her hands so horrifyingly real, usually waking her with a violent shiver up her spine.

“Mmmm…” she turned to press a kiss to Estela’s lips. “I’ll take every good night of sleep I can get. You sleep okay?”

Estela’s face was soft with affection. Her own nights’ sleep had been badly impacted by the traumatic period of Taylor’s recovery from Vaanu’s leaving her. After seeing the love of her life stop breathing again and again… letting go of the fear wasn’t something that came easy, and it made for restless nights.

“I think I made it the whole night. We might just be through the worst of it. I guess you’re not gonna die on me in the middle of the night after all.”

“Like I keep saying; you are stuck with me, Estela Montoya. No way you’re shaking me now.”

With a happy squirm, Estela squeezed Taylor from behind. “Nope-- you’re all mine.” She placed a big smooch on her wife’s rosy cheek. “Come on; I can smell breakfast cooking!”

________________________

Several weeks in, San Trobida remained a brand new world for Taylor. It was to some relief when it quickly became apparent that she didn’t especially stand out and draw attention. She slowly got to grips with her place in a world beyond La Huerta, and no one seemed to pay her much notice. Estela had told her, with a laugh, that San Trobidans were not an especially chatty people, and that this shouldn’t come as a surprise. One might expect a polite smile of greeting, but the general population were about as likely to strike up small talk as Estela was-- which was to say, not very.

Initially, Estela had been stuck to Taylor as if by glue, letting her presence be a safety net as her wife grappled with her identity in what was an often overwhelming environment. And it hadn’t just been for Taylor’s benefit. Reunited with her uncle in a post-war San Trobida, her beloved partner by her side, it seemed inevitable to Estela that the other shoe had to drop at some point. Life wasn’t this easy. It just wasn’t. Every other time she’d believed that the struggle was over, she’d been hit with another wallop to the gut. Trusting in ‘happily ever after’ wasn’t something she could turn on like a switch.

But everything hadn’t gone crashing down in flames. Nicolas had welcomed Taylor-- and Jake, for that matter-- enthusiastically into the family. Even for the short years she’d been away, Estela found a San Trobida flourishing without the choke-hold of oppression that she’d always expected to be there. Jake had hit the ground running, having already interviewed for positions with two local airlines to charter tourists-- the thought of tourists coming to San Trobida was staggering in itself. Estela had offered her services to do odd jobs for old acquaintances; something she’d done many years before, when her mother had still been around to prevent her from getting involved in the war. The vast majority of her uncle’s friends had been connected to the rebellion in some way or another, and standoffish as most were, they welcomed her earnest insistence on being useful. Everything around her spoke of recovery, and Estela found herself beginning to believe that she and Taylor were on their way too.

Taylor often accompanied her wife on these errands, taking every opportunity to soak up the essence of San Trobidan life, to make it a part of herself. She was met predominantly with wary looks and grunts, and soon worked out that it wasn’t worth taking such reactions to heart. Today, though, she was striking out on her own. If she was going to come into her own as a ‘new Taylor’, the fully-realised human being that even Vaanu themselves could not have imagined of her, she had to give herself a chance to grow.

“You have the bus timetables on your phone, right?” Estela asked, taking a moment to give her wife’s fingers a squeeze. “It’s still probably best if you don’t go into the city on your own, but you pretty much know your way to the closer towns anyway. And you can call me…”

“...at any time.” Taylor returned the squeeze. “Always.”

Estela blushed. “Yeah… that. Just, be careful. If you’re feeling tired, call. I can drop everything in a moment, but I need you to be safe.”

Whether Taylor’s batteries ever properly recharged these days, was something debatable. Even the simplest activities would knock the stuffing out of her. Walks along the beach were kept short. Afternoon naps were now something of a fact of life. Sex was slow and gentle. It was damn near driving Taylor crazy, and all she could do was tell herself that it would get better, that her lack of energy was a tiny price for the miracle of her continued presence on earth.

She took Estela’s face in her hands and kissed her sweetly. “I’ll be careful, okay? I know my limits.”

The bus ride up into the hills east of Estela’s home was a scenic one, and a trip that Taylor had now taken a couple of times during her solo explorations, as well as once, of course, with Estela. Passing agricultural plantations-- cassava, banana and sugar cane, she’d been told-- the surrounding vegetation became denser as the road carried on to the next town. Taylor hopped off at the next stop; if she was feeling up to it, there wouldn’t be too much of a trek back down the hill to the bay off which the Montoya house stood. With that in mind, she kept her ambling around town to a slow pace, and coffee in hand, soon took to the walking trails through the surrounding forest.

Almost certainly as a result of feeling so at home in the wilderness of La Huerta, it was in nature that Taylor felt she was at her best-- it had always been on hikes through the jungle or along the coast that she could really get lost in thought and ponder the big questions. Now, though, her body just couldn’t seem to keep up with her mental needs. When she sat down upon the forest floor for a breather-- surely after not even a quarter of an hour of walking-- her legs were like jelly.

Goddammit.

Frustrated, Taylor distracted herself by taking a picture of an odd flower. She’d been collecting snaps of just about anything in nature she came across that stood out as different to what she was used to on La Huerta. If Estela or Nicolas couldn’t identify it, she’d hit their old handbook of San Trobidan botany. It was a small hobby to keep her occupied; at least she could keep on learning even if she was usually too tired to do a lot physically. She’d also taken up knitting-- though she had a way to go before she’d really got the hang of it. Besides poring over books and keeping up a barrage of questions about life here, there was not a whole lot else for her to do. She’d had a couple of driving lessons, but like everything else, they had to be kept short. She’d usually go along with Estela when she was running errands, but if she wasn’t painfully aware of how weak and vulnerable she presently was, getting a good view of her wife’s vigour and strength did nothing to make her feel any better. Of course, there wasn’t a hint of judgement-- but Taylor was so often left feeling useless and unattractive. Estela had fallen for an energetic woman who had taken life by the horns, and right now, it felt like that woman didn’t exist.

She took her time to recover; sending a couple of pictures to Diego who’d been getting an almost blow-by-blow account of her new life in San Trobida, and doing a few easy stretches. Estela was convinced that working on core strength was the best way forward for Taylor’s rehabilitation; once her body was stronger, then they’d work on cardio and stamina.

Limbered up, Taylor walked back to the bus stop. Dearly as she’d wanted to make the trek home, something that just a couple of months ago would have been a piece of cake, she was not fool enough to think it might happen today. Getting off the bus a couple of stops before home was the compromise she’d have to live with for the time being. She plugged in her earphones and watched the world go by-- listening to a soundtrack she’d inherited as a mish-mash of her friends’ tastes. When she hopped off the bus, that beat kept her putting one foot in front of the other, a steady rhythm. From the footpath by the road up the hill, she could already see an easy route home; the sparkling sea providing a beautiful backdrop that she’d never have fully appreciated through a window. She could feel her body flagging with every step, but it was worth it.

You got this, Taylor. All downhill from here.

As Taylor turned the last corner toward home, her legs shaking, a small figure skittered out across the road and towards the beach. A small sickly-looking dog. Strays were not uncommon near the towns and beaches; Estela had said there used to be many more around the place, that with the war over there was more scope for focus on animal welfare. The fact that this one looked like a strong gust of wind could finish it off spurred her.

Well, I guess I can make a slight detour.

She hastily tucked away her earphones and crossed the street, whistling. Most of the dogs that showed up were seasoned beggars with no qualms about approaching humans. Chances were, this little one would come running. Huffing and puffing her way slowly to the beachside village, she found the dog trundling along the behind the now-closed bar. On a longer look, Taylor noticed that its forelegs were oddly bent, facing in opposite directions as it loped, and the scruffiness that had caught her eye was down to great patches of hair loss that accentuated a thin frame.

Poor little fella…. She gave a low whistle and crouched. “Hey, l’il guy… uh, girl actually. Hey, l’il girl. You must be hungry….”

The dog looked around, eyes wary, as Taylor wobbled precariously. It gave a small but gruff bark, and moved further away. Taylor huffed; if the animal didn’t clearly need a vet, she’d have left it be. After her walk down from the bus stop, her head was spinning and she wasn’t sure how much longer she’d be able to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Maybe… maybe she should just come back for the tiny dog later. Then, as Taylor made to get up, she stumbled and fell.

Fuck.

Suddenly, it seemed pretty clear that the mangy little dog was not the one in most immediate physical peril. Taylor gave a weak yell and kicked out the dirt. To her alarm, her vision blurred horribly, and she went from ‘a little bit weak’ to ‘I could faint right here’ dizzy in frightening speed.

Okay, head between your legs. Deep breaths… deep….

The world swam. Taylor could just about make out the dog barking in the distance… then all went black.

_____________________

Taylor woke slowly, her head aching. The room around her seemed to spin, and it took several long moments before she recognised it as Estela’s bedroom. Propped up at the head of the bed, she’d clearly been brought home by someone after…. Crap, what happened?

“There is water for you on the bedside table,” came the sharp voice of Nicolas Montoya.

“W-what happened? I fainted? I think I… fainted.”

“Thankfully you were found by someone who recognised you as a guest of mine. Now, sit up slowly and take small sips of water. Estelita will be home soon-- I would much prefer she is not coming home to her idiot wife looking like death warmed up.”

Her lips dry, Taylor swallowed, still trying to catch her brain up with whatever had just happened. She’d been chasing after a stray dog, and then…. God, Estela was gonna freak. She mumbled a ‘thank you’ for the water, for the apparent rescue, and tried to hold off from shuddering at the bitter disappointment in her uncle-in-law’s voice. He was pissed. A strong part of Taylor was indignant; she wasn’t a fool, but this was new.

“Drink.”

There was no arguing with that tone. Taylor took a sip, then another. She tried to think. She’d been out walking and… her body had just given out on her. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t known she was exhausted, but….

“It happened so fast. I was on my way home, and I was tired, and then I just… crashed. Where’s Estela--? Does she know I’m okay--?”

“I didn’t take you for a dumbass--”

Anger flared in Taylor’s gut. That was not fair. “Hey-- I passed out. I’m not stupid, I just--”

“No? You are ill, wandering around defenseless… by your own choice, no? Knowing that your wife would drop everything to get you home when you are clearly incapacitated. I give you some credit; I assume you know this is not the safest corner of the world? It seems like you are a maldito idiota to me!”

Taylor could feel her whole body trembling uncontrollably. “You can try, but you’re not gonna make me feel any worse than I already do. I made a bad call, and I’m paying for it. I don’t expect you to trust me; but I learned a fucking hard lesson today.”

Nicolas turned away, seething.

“If I thought it was a risk, I wouldn’t have done it. I would never put Estela through that kind of worry. Not again.”

“Well, we are fortunate indeed it wasn’t she who found you collapsed in the dirt.” Nicolas’ eyes flashed as he looked back over his shoulder at Taylor. “Do you have any idea--”

A creaking signaled the front door swinging open. There was a pounding of frantic footsteps on hardwood floor and then….

“Taylor!”

Estela rushed in, falling to her knees beside the bed where Taylor was propped up.

“’Stel…” Taylor’s eyes welled as both relief and shame washed over her all at once. I’m so sorry.

“¡Dios! Me asustaste hasta la muerte! What were you thinking? It’s okay, just… just let me look at you….”

The tone of panic and the tears rolling down Estela’s cheeks made Taylor’s heart sink down to her toes. This was the last thing she’d wanted.

Nicolas scowled. “Well, she’s in safe hands now. Estelita, I will be in the office if you need anything.”

“Thanks, Tio.” Estela did not turn as her uncle walked away; she had eyes only for Taylor. Tentatively, she climbed up onto the bed, settling down gently beside her wife.

“I really thought I had more stamina than tha--”

“Shh.” Estela put a finger to Taylor’s lips. “Let me check you over.”

Too exhausted to struggle, Taylor leaned back against the head of the bed, letting Estela inspect her for any signs of physical distress. She remained quiet, feeling the tension that hung between them, tension that shouldn’t be there.

Finally, Estela sighed, her dark eyes forlorn. “Looks like no harm done. You got lucky. But you can’t just push your luck like that. I can’t believe you’d just--”

“It was an honest mistake. Part of being human, or at least that’s what I’m told.”

“It was a stupid mistake!”

It was as though an icy bucket of water had been dropped on Taylor’s head. Estela wasn’t just hurt, she was… angry?

“Hey! I have been lectured enough by your uncle, and I am not gonna take it from you. I know you’re scared, but this is new to me. I’m still working out my limits.”

Estela winced, immediately looking ashamed for snapping. She curled up her knees to her chest and stared straight ahead. For a long while, she sat that way, unmoving.

Taylor watched her wife with concern. Where was she? Reliving the long nights in the Elyys’tel medical centre, a hair’s breadth from losing her partner forever? Or was she even further away; remembering the shattering impact of loss and fearing it touching again?

“Taylor,” Estela said hoarsely, “I can’t… I won’t lose you.”

“No. You won’t.”

“So, don’t do that to me again.That was irresponsible and dumb, and that… that wasn’t fair.”

Hurt, Taylor tried hard not to pout. She wasn’t doing this on purpose; surely Estela knew that?

“We both know that you can’t look me in the eye and tell me that you’ve never overestimated what you were capable of. I made a mistake, okay?”

Estela’s nostrils flared. It was difficult to argue with that. Sometime in the future, when he’d cooled off, her tio would no doubt laugh at the thought of her having a taste of all the worry she put him through. “Look, it might seem peaceful here, but beneath the surface, things are still broken. This is not a place that’s forgiving of stupid mistakes. If anything happened to you now, I-- I think it would kill me.”

“I know, ‘Stel. And I was being careful. I thought I was being careful enough…”

As she looked into Taylor’s face, Estela’s expression gradually softened. This sucked. It really sucked. But that wasn’t down to Taylor. She was scared too. Gently, Estela reached out a hand and stroked her wife’s cheek. “You’re safe now. That’s what matters.”

Pressing a tender kiss to Estela’s wrist, Taylor felt herself relax. They were okay. Both kind of freaked out, but they were freaked out together.

“It’s like I don’t know my own body anymore. I feel absolutely useless; I can’t even trust myself, not after what just happened. It’s… kinda shit. ”

Estela huffed knowingly, and stroked Taylor’s hair. “It’s a lot shit. I’m sorry for taking it out on you. The last thing you need is to be stressing out ‘cause I’m being an asshole.”

“You? Never. You’ve had to be scared for so long; you’d have to be a robot if you kept it together all the time.”

“Hmm. Well, if I’ve gotta let off steam, that’s what a punching bag is for. I don’t wanna hurt you. Not ever.” Estela stroked her calloused fingers through Taylor’s hair. It helped to calm the both of them.“Did Tio really chew you out? If he thinks he can lecture you--”

Taylor laughed dryly. “Nothing I can’t handle. It… kinda sucks that he thinks I’m a complete idiot, but I’ll work on that.”

The hurt, though, could not be hidden.

“Carińa, you have nothing to prove. When Tio gets protective he can be… well, pretty damn unpleasant.” Estela sighed softly. “When I found out Mom was dead, it… it’s hard to explain how bad it was. I was unreachable. And obviously it took a long, long time for me to even be close to the person I was before. I think when he found you like that, he must have had a moment when he thought it was happening again. It doesn’t excuse him being an ass to you, but you should know it’s not your fault. You’re not what’s wrong here. Jesus, you’re the opposite of what’s wrong. Okay?”

Taylor found her wife’s hand and squeezed. “I know.” For a little while, she was quiet, just taking comfort in Estela… her being there, her touch. That love was a privilege. “Your tio just… absolutely loves you to pieces. Like you’re his everything. For him to feel as though he’d lost you; it must have been something like torture.”

Her eyes closed, Estela breathed deeply against Taylor’s head, soothed by the scent of her hair. She’d let go of the guilt, but profound sadness lingered. The years since her mother’s death had been little but immeasurable pain for Nicolas, making even the triumphant rebellion hollow.

“I could never thank him enough. No matter what, he supported me, he had my back. Even when I was stuck on a mission that would take away the last person he loved.” She found herself enveloped in a hug, Taylor gently bringing her to her chest and cradling her head there. “I love him. More than I can say. More than I think I’ll ever work out how to show him. But I think… he knows. We’ve been through too much for him not to. I know I fought it; I didn’t wanna risk you even if it meant the world… but he gets to heal now. With me.” Estela looked up, pink dusting her cheeks as she looked into Taylor’s shimmering blue eyes. “You did that. And there’s nothing that anyone could ever give to compare to that. You’re my hero.”

Taylor found herself sniffing, faced with shining sincerity. She didn’t feel like a hero, but for as long as Estela needed her to be that person, she’d try to live up to it. “You’re mine.”

“So, mi querida, it’s gonna be okay.” Estela pulled herself up, so that Taylor could lean on her in turn. “How are you feeling?”

“Actually, not so bad. Like, I desperately needed rest, but at least I seem to be able to bounce back pretty well.”

Estela sighed thoughtfully. The ordeal had been a fright, but it looked like no harm had been done. “You should tell Michelle what happened. She’ll want to know.”

It was hard for Taylor not to groan at the thought of causing even more worry, but she nodded her agreement. Ever since Vaanu left her, she’d been nothing but a burden.

“Actually, what did happen? Tio said you were passed out on the beach-- I thought you were going up into the hills.”

“I did. And I was all pumped up to trek back down from the town--,” Catching a horrified look, Taylor couldn’t help but chuckle. “--cool your jets; you know I’m not that stubborn. I realised pretty quickly that my ambitions were way too high. So, I got off the bus a little ways before our stop, and I walked it. I did it. I mean, it knocked the stuffing out of me, but I did it.”

“...And then, something possessed you to take a stroll along the beach?”

Taylor felt her cheeks flush. Okay, this was the part where I get a little foolish. “There was this little stray dog. Tiny thing, and it looked so sickly. Apparently, the bleeding heart in me jumped out, and then I was on a mission. I think the thought of actually helping someone, and not just being this weak, lost little person just… just sparked something in me. Pretty sure the adrenaline just from that got me to the beach, because when I stopped moving, the fatigue hit me like a train.”

A little smile came to Estela’s face, and it made Taylor blush all the more.

“I know, I know, apparently I’ve got myself a hero complex. Maybe a little bit stupid, but my heart’s in the right place?”

Estela just laughed and held her wife even tighter. “How am I meant to argue with that? One pig-headed crusader to another; it’s not the worst thing you can be. I love you, Taylor.”

Taylor closed her eyes, breathing in the familiarity, the comfort, that came of having Estela so near. Her whole world, her everything. All that she had to give in return was so… small. Helpless and small.

“Hey…,” Estela said gently. “It is going to be okay. I know you’re all right physically, but… you’re sad.”

“I thought I was getting better. I don’t want to be a damsel in distress for the rest of my life. It’s not as if I even know who I am now, but that ain’t it.”

Estela tenderly kissed Taylor’s brow, her own furrowed with concern. “You are getting better. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but from where you came from, this now is amazing. You’re stronger even than just last week. However long it takes, I’ll be there with you. You know, ready to give you a fireman-carry to safety.”

“I guess there’s gotta be some perks to being a damsel in distress. I can’t deny it; that would be kinda hot.”

“Kinda?”

“A lot. A lot hot. I’m sorry, have you seen your arms?”

To Taylor’s relief, the atmosphere had shifted; Estela waggled her eyebrows and giggled, eliciting a weak but grateful smile.

“You’ll be back to kicking ass in no time. If it helps, we can focus more on your physical training-- at least once you’ve recovered from this little, uh, episode. But, um, that little dog you found….”

“If we can find it, I really want to help. Maybe there’s the selfish aspect of me wanting to feel capable of being at least a little bit helpful to someone, but I want to get it fixed up. It-- I think it was a girl-- looked pretty bad.”

“I always wanted to bring home strays when I was little; Tio Nicolas thought he had enough responsibility with a kid around the place, so that was never gonna happen. I’m sure he won’t mind another guest, now. Or at least, he wouldn’t say no. Do you want to get a dog, mi amor?”

“It hadn’t actually crossed my mind what we’d do with her once we brought her home and got her healthy, but… yeah. I think I’d like to have a dog.” Despite all her worries, all her fears, all her shame, Taylor couldn’t stop the small smile that lit her features. If she could somehow claw her way back to a semblance of her old self, what lay ahead looked amazing. “Look at us, ‘Stel; already growing our family.”

A giddy grin plastered across Estela’s face served to sweep Taylor back up into her own insecurities; those voiced and those yet hidden. This was supposed to be their happy ending; after everything her lover had been through, it was all Taylor wanted to make it happen. But now… was she even enough?

This might be as good as it gets. Can you really expect her to be there to catch you when you just can’t stop falling?

Estela stood up and stretched, but gave Taylor a look when she made to follow suit.“We’re not going anywhere until you’re properly rested. I’ll make you some lunch. But then, we’ll see if we can help out your little friend. What do you think?”

Taylor frowned.

What do I think?

I think… I’m scared I’m going to hold you back, when you’re capable of so much.

I’m scared your uncle’s only ever gonna see me as another burden for you to carry.

I’m scared you’re gonna wake up one day and realise I’m not the same person you fell in love with.

She swallowed hard. There was so much love in Estela’s dark eyes, and it was shining there just for her.

I won’t stop fighting to be what you deserve. We’re so close to happy ever after, and I won’t let you down now.

“I think I’ll be up to that. We’ve got saving the world under our belt; rescuing a stray dog is gonna be a cakewalk. Let’s do this.”

#endless summer #playchoices #estela x mc #estela montoya

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dashboardcat · 3 years

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I Try One of Everything at Salt City Market (Part 2)

Remember like 3 weeks ago when I did a write-up of a food hall in my hometown, guaranteed to attract the attention of like, 2 people? Well, it’s time for more of that!

Attempt #1

While there wasn’t a line outside this time, the market itself seemed just as busy as it was the day after the grand opening. I also tried to make a point to take in more of the decor, but I don’t think I really have anything new to add other than the fact that I watched not one but two people struggle to stuff the big paper bags their food came in into the trendy, tiny-opening trash cans. More importantly, I forgot that like, half of the stands are closed on Mondays, meaning I would have to come back another time to finish my quest.

ERMA’S ISLAND- Jerk Pork (half portion)- $10

I want to say right off the bat that of all the things I’ve tried from this market, this was hands down the best smelling. And thankfully, the pork pretty much tasted as good as it smelled. It was tender and juicy, and the sauce was complex, with a good amount of heat that didn’t overpower the other flavors. The rice and beans that it came with, on the other hand, was a little bland, but that’s nothing that mixing the sauce into can’t fix.

Unfortunately, I can never show my face there again, because when the cashier asked me if I wanted the half or whole portion, I said “Yeah,” and made her repeat herself like 3 times.

MAMMA HAI- “Marco Polo” Banh Mi- $10

Yes, that’s pepperoni on a banh mi.

The roll was nice and crusty, and to be honest, that’s like 90% of what makes a good sandwich for me. Unfortunately, the pickled veggies and cilantro (and this blog is pro-cilantro, get over yourselves, haters) sort of overpowered the pepperoni and the char siu pork, which is a shame because I wanted that pepperoni to shine. If this was a $5 banh mi, I wouldn’t have a problem with that, but at $10 I would have liked a little more meat, or at least for the already existing meat to make its presence felt. The pate and mayo kinda also get lost, but do present a bit of richness in about every other bite (and, for another controversial sandwich opinion, I don’t necessarily think that every bite of a sandwich has to have an even distribution of everything, otherwise the flavors sort of just blur together after a while). Overall, it’s a fairly decent sandwich, but left me longing for something more. They also have a curry chicken banh mi, maybe that one has a better balance of flavor.

CAKE BAR- Locus Cake- $6.50

One thing about Cake Bar that isn’t made apparent by looking at their stand is that, according to their website, it’s meant to resemble a Vietnamese cafe. In hindsight, this kinda explains the wide variety of specialty teas (specialteas, if you will) they also had available.

The chocolate cake was moist and had little crispy bits running throughout it. At first, I thought it was eggshells, because I’m an idiot and always assume the worst. After picking out an especially large chunk, I realized it was broken up bits of Biscoff cookies! (Further research has shown me that the parent company that makes Biscoff cookies is called Locus, thus, y’know, the name of the cake. Probably should have put that together sooner, it literally says “Locus” on the cookie, one of which was lodged into the top of the cake.) The buttercream was surprisingly light, and the caramel on top had the perfect consistency, gooey enough to stay put but not so gooey that it turned into a stringy mess after running your fork through it. The only negative thing I really have to say about the all-around experience was that the box they used made it kind of difficult to get the slice out of it (as you can see, I ended up just tearing the sides up).

Attempt #2

Since the market is relatively close to my work, I figured I would drop by after work one day to bang out the rest of the list.

BAGHDAD RESTAURANT- Beef Shawarma- $6.99

At first, I laughed to myself upon seeing it in one of those gas station sub bags. The laughing faded pretty quickly, though, upon seeing it was, in fact served on a sub roll. I'm not a shawarma expert. maybe that can be an acceptable way to eat it? The beef was well spiced and that perfect sweet spot between tender and still having something to sink your teeth into. Unfortunately, that’s more or less where my compliments end. What little sauce the menu promised (just called “sauce,” don’t ask me what it is) has soaked into the bread and completely disappeared, making the whole thing somewhat dry and lackluster. Also, they didn’t cut it, which was fine with the heartier banh mi’s baguette but with the softer sub roll didn’t have the structural integrity to be picked up whole without a struggle. My biggest gripe with it is mostly on me, though, as the juice from the pickles tainted most of it with pickle stank, which could have been avoided entirely if I had just ordered it without.

SOULUTIONS- Mustard and Berbere Fried Chicken ($6) and FIRE MAC ($4)

(Note- the $6 order of chicken comes with 2 of these chicken cutlets, but I carelessly ate one before taking the picture.)

I do want to clear the air here and say that yes, I did accidentally order fried chicken and mac and cheese from both of the soul food places. I was originally going to get the burger, at my friend’s recommendation, but the menu board by the register suspiciously didn’t have the burger on it, so I panicked and ordered the fried chicken again.

While the breading was stained yellow from mustard, the honey mustard taste was very subtle. I also have to admit to not knowing off the top of my head what berbere (I had to google it, it’s an Ethiopian spice blend) tastes like, so i can't tell you if this tasted like that. But, despite not being especially strong in either of the namesake seasonings, it definitely is a flavorful piece of chicken nonetheless. Flavors work that way sometimes.

The Fire Mac may not have delivered as strongly on cheese as I may have liked, but it definitely did deliver on the fire, drizzled with a tangy buffalo-esque sauce. And Topped with crumbled bits of fried chicken skins? Can’t go wrong with that.

JUICE AND FLOWERS- “Root | 12” Juice- $8

Misleading name, I didn’t see any flowers anywhere. Zero stars.

The beet and lemon were the most pronounced of the flavors, with the ginger lingering on the palate and, unsurprisingly, the apple and carrot mostly being there to round the whole thing out. The employee that waited on me was very passionate and knowledgeable about the juice, informing me that 2 pounds of produce had gone into this little bottle, and that it’d have a shelf life of 3-5 days. Which is good, because I put it back in the fridge after I got home to chill it back down, and then proceeded to forget about it for 3 days. It’s also a very thick and hearty juice, so it doesn’t feel that weird to only want to drink half a bottle in one sitting and, y’know, make this $8 bottle of juice last a little longer.

Attempt #3

Knowing fully well that I was going to have a long night shift ahead of me, I decided to check out the Coffee Bar side of the market for what would be my third trip over the course of 5 days. I feel like I should also point out that the Coffee Bar, as its name literally breaks down as, serves coffee during the day and a full bar at night. I also noticed during this visit that the Coffee Bar has a patio seating area under construction, cheesy string lights and all, that I am looking forward to.

Fruity Pebbles Latte- $6

Against my best judgement, I got it “for here” for the sake of the pic, even though a.) I had to break my rule of not eating in places because this fucking pandemic isn’t over yet and b.) I was nervous about being late for work the whole time (I did, in fact, get there on time). As I waited, I could see their secret recipe fruity pebbles milk sitting on the counter. It was, in fact, fruity pebbles and milk.

I didn’t really think the Fruity Pebbles would work with the espresso, having had been burned before by places that just dump them onto things with no regard of the flavor profile just for the sake of the burst of color. But, somehow… it did work. Maybe it’s because cereal milk is never quite as strong as some might hope, but the subtle fruitiness of the milk played well with the chocolatey notes in the espresso. The espresso itself probably also had the best crema on it that I’ve ever seen on a latte (and yes, I had to google the pretentious espresso-snob term for the foam that floats to the top).

Also shoutout to the pour over, which on their menu board is priced at "4-ish"

I’m so glad I’m living with my parents again at the moment. Otherwise, this whole thing would’ve been like, a month’s worth of my food budget.

#food #restaurant reviews #salt city market

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221bshrlocked · 5 years

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Starstruck (1)

Pairing: Chris Beck x Reader

Words: 3445

Warnings: Bullying. Nothing else.

Prompt: “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

A/N: This is for one of my absolute favs @moonbeambucky . I love you dude :) Congrats on the milestone friend and yeeepepepe I hope you like this. Chris is getting his MA degree and reader is an undergrad. I don’t remember writing anything for our favorite spaceman so tell me how it is please and thank you. And sorry it is so last minute I am still struggling with writing.

Part 2

Pretending you didn’t just hear Emily mock your major for god knows what time this week, you plugged your headphones in and blasted some music in hopes to tune her out. You laughed at your own joke, and read the paragraph again to try and learn something.

Hmm, tune her out, that was funny Y/N!

But the harder you tried to focus, the louder and more obnoxious everyone became. You knew what they were doing, you knew why they kept on teasing you, and you thought ignoring them would eventually make it stop but that wasn’t the case. You’d never feel self-conscious about your major but sometimes, they hit you right where it hurt. Too many nights were spent crying just because they called you stupid or slow or unnecessary.

It’s okay, they don’t understand what the world would be life if music didn’t exist. Just ignore them. Don’t let them get to you.

Thinking back to when you started living here, you couldn’t help but sigh because all of this was avoidable had you not listened to your friend. Yes the price was lower than everywhere else, especially for this campus, and you weren’t far from where your classes met, even the grocery store was a minute away. Fine, this was the best deal and you’d probably not change your decision just because some assholes had issues.

They’re all leaving this weekend anyway so just power through this Y/N alright. You can do this. Fucking power through it and you’ll do gr-

You looked up as soon as you heard the front door opening, a part of you for once wishing this man was not walking through the door right now and was that his friend behind him?

“How did I just get to see your place man?” The blonde man asked before remembering he should probably leave his umbrella outside. You frowned when you noticed just how much it was raining, realizing there was no way you’d attempt to go to the library now.

The brunette glared at him before turning to you, a small smile adorning his face for a second right as he walked past you. You heard him ascending the two flights of stairs to your floor, probably to get something from his room and leave again. He was the only one living on the same floor as you, the other six being on the first and ground floors.

You snapped out of your haze when you heard someone tapping on your book, causing you to jump and take your headphones out.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. I’m Liam by the way.” He pulled out a chair and sat next to you, flipping the book to see what you were studying.

“Well this is fun,” he commented while pointing at the organic chemistry problems, making you cringe at his reaction because who in their right mind would call organic chemistry fun?

“Easy for you to say, this isn’t my major and frankly, I can’t stand it.” You crossed your arms, smiling a little because there was a cute blondie laughing at what you said. “I’m going to be honest with you, this is the shit I deal with on a daily basis and I agree with you. Can’t fucking stand it most of the times, especially when that genius upstairs makes it look like a piece of cake.”

“Oh? W-what’re you guys studying?” Knowing you’d never have the guts to ask your ‘neighbor,’ your curiosity got the best of you and blurted out the question before you can stop yourself. “We’re not in the same program actually but I’m in biomedical engineering and Chris over there is m-”

“Your late friend.” Chris came running down the stairs, wearing a NASA sweatshirt and a leather jacket on top and if you weren’t so occupied with what you just heard the girls in the other room were saying, you’d have gotten a better look at him. “Hey man we have a few minutes, I was just telling your cute housemate what you’re doing. You know she’s studying organic chemistry right? Maybe you c-”

“Liam I told you we needed to cut lunch short and now you’re being a dickhead again. Let’s go. Sorry Y/N!” Chris grabbed his friend and shoved him out the door but not before you heard his friend looking back at you and whispering “the Y/N? That’s Y/N??” You waved goodbye when they left, turning around and seeing Emily and Letty staring you down while the guys tried to catch their attention again. You’d think people would grow out of that phase in university but nope.

You dove back into your book and ignored them, trying your hardest not to think about Liam and who you now know as Chris. An hour later, you finally had the house to yourself, knowing fully well that everyone else was probably partying somewhere. Everyone has finished their finals, including you, except unlike everyone, you didn’t pass all of yours. Luckily, your professor grew very fond of you and appreciated how much time and effort you put into his class, informing you that while he takes your improvement into account, he couldn’t possibly pass you with that final grade. So you concluded with an agreement, if he gives you a chance to retake the final, you’d help him grade the other classes’ finals as well. When he smiled and shook your hands enthusiastically, you were relieved.

Two chapters and three cups of coffee later, you knew you couldn't stay awake any longer. As you packed your stuff and headed to your room, you couldn’t help but remember what happened a few hours ago again.

Wait, how did he know my name?

Thinking he probably just heard it from someone in the house, you threw your books on the desk and headed to your dresser, grabbing a pair of panties and your hair products before walking to the bathroom and hanging your towel near the curtain.

As the water warm water hit your back, you silently prayed the next week would pass by as peacefully as possible. But those thoughts scattered away when an image of Chris popped up in your head. Of course you had to fall for the quiet, uninterested, probably rude science dude, knowing fully well he wouldn’t give you a second glance. If only you wouldn’t freeze up whenever you saw him. Thinking back to when you were checking out the house, you smiled at what your friend said when she saw him walking into his room. And it took you two whole semesters to convince her he was definitely not the reason you moved here.

Well, he wasn’t the main reason but he was among the pros on your list. Rinsing your hair, you shut the water off and stepped out, wrapping the towel around your body before looking for your panties. When you couldn’t find them anywhere, you thought you probably just forgot to bring them, unlocking the door and heading to your room. Shutting your door, you were about to let go of the towel when you heard a knock on your door.

Pulling open the knob, your eyes widened in horror when you saw Chris standing in the middle of the doorway, hands crossed and-

Shit shit shit this is not happening.

“Hey Y/N you dro- fuck…” Chris knew he should shut his eyes but seeing you in nothing but the towel, hair still wet and thighs peeking from below the towel made him shift in his place. He realized he swore out loud and swallowed thickly, blinking before looking down at his feet. “S-sorry to bother you I know it’s late but...I umm, you seem to have dropped these and- well, here you go.” Chris held out his hand to you, fingers entirely intertwined with the soft cotton of your pink panties.

“Th-thank you, I...was just, sorry it’s uhh, getting late. Good night.” You didn’t wait for his response, stepping back and shutting the door quickly before resting your back on it. You heard him bid you goodnight from behind the doorway, steps leading away from your door letting you know he already left. You tried to calm your heart for a few minutes before slipping into your pajamas and rolling under the covers, pretending the last fifteen minutes never happened.

Chris on the other hand paced back and forth, the image of your body so slick and shiny under your bedroom light making him hiss before looking down and seeing his hard-on pressing against his sweatpants. He only just spent the last three hours telling his friends to fuck off because there was no way a girl like you was single. He came up with so many excuses to not ask you out, knowing the only thing stopping him is his fear of rejection. But now that he got a glimpse of you, he knew he had to at least try, even if it made things awkward later on.

When you woke up the next day, and walked downstairs to make breakfast, you’d completely forgotten everything that happened the night prior, cooking some waffles before pouring yourself some coffee and sitting down to check your emails. As soon as Chris walked in, hair messy and sweatpants hanging low on his hips, you choked on the liquid, holding your hands up when he stepped closer to you and patted your back.

“Shit you okay?” You tried to not think of the very tight white tank top he was wearing but the coughs only grew louder. “W-wrong pipe,” you managed to say between attempts to clear your throat. “Yeah just don’t speak, deep breathes, leave this for now.” He pushed the mug away and continued to rub your back, failing to notice how you’d already stopped coughing. You looked up at him and smiled, noticing the blush creeping up his neck when he realized he was still touching you. Chris pulled away reluctantly, rubbing his thighs before returning the awkward smile and heading to the coffee maker.

You stayed silent, afraid to say something because all you could think about is Chris holding your panties in his hands. He’d turned around and leaned against the sink, drinking his coffee and staring intently at you.

“You take your coffee black?” was the only thing you managed to come up with, cringing at your attempts of making conversation because of course he does, he’s drinking it right now isn’t he?

“Yeah, like my soul!” Chris chuckled before shaking his head and mentally slapping himself. But then he heard you snort at what he said, face beaming from happiness.

She thinks I’m funny? Okay, so she likes a little bit of dark, weird humor, cool. I can do that. Definitely doable.

Before he could say anything else, you were already getting up and rinsing the plate and mug, putting them in the dishwasher before telling him you’d see him later.

“Great job man.” Chris murmured to himself, finishing the rest of his coffee before heading upstairs to get dressed. He walked past your room and stopped, finally understanding why you probably almost died downstairs not ten minutes ago. He completely forgot about last night and realized you didn’t and shit shit shit did he need to apologize again? When he heard some rustling behind the door, he ran to his room and shut it as silently as possible.

What are you five years old? Get your shit together and act like an adult. You’re in medical school man for fuck’s sake!

You weren’t planning on leaving the house today but this was the first time you’d seen him in the morning and you panicked because what if he was going to stay inside for the day? It wouldn’t end well because at some point, you would’ve made a fool out of yourself, again, and that wasn’t going to be good for your already stressful self.

Chris was in fact planning on staying inside, even though it was Friday. But he didn’t want to run into you again, knowing he was completely unprepared and needed to ask one of his friends for advice, much to his dislike.

You thought the library would be the perfect place to get your head in the game but you couldn’t have been proven more wrong. You couldn’t stop thinking about how more talkative he became around you in the span of a day, occasionally zoning out and thinking of different scenarios where you weren’t a complete dork and actually held up a conversation with him.

Chris spent the day helping his friend plan some of the talks he and the others were going to give during the Annual meeting for the American College of Surgeons. But as hard as he tried to be of use, he wasn’t able to do much, mind running a hundred miles in attempts to come up with something to say to you. By six o’clock, his friend told him he should go home and get some rest before next week, and when he apologies for not helping out as much as the others, she told him not to worry about it and to try and talk to you.

“Wow, might as well give Liam a fucking mic so he can tell everyone.” Chris didn’t bother tying his shoes or changing out of his scrubs. “Relax, he said it by accident and let’s be honest, there is no way anything else can get the famous Chris Beck this distracted unless it was a girl. Seriously just be yourself and I’m sure she’ll like you.”

“I can’t even say one word without making a fool out of myself.” He stood up and put on his NASA sweatshirt.

“Well maybe you can help her out. Liam was telling me she was doing some chemistry stuff and was close to crying because of it. Come on Beck woe the girl, buy her some coffee and help the damsel in distress and you’ll see how far that goes.” Chris laughed at what Diana said, shaking his head before turning around and leaving.

“If that works, I swear I will help you out all of next week.” He pointed at her and shut the door behind him, heading to the nearby coffee place with a smile on his face.

You’d already left the library with a friend and decided to go to the coffee shop just around the corner with your friend, immediately regretting it when you entered and saw the rest of the house crew sitting on the couches.

“Hey look, our very own Mozart has a social life.” One of the guys yelled and made everyone around stare at you. Your friend asked if you wanted to leave and you told her it was fine, ordering a hot cocoa and keeping busy with talking to her about your new assignment. You could distinctly hear them still teasing you, shaking your head and laughing when your friend told you she can easily hit them with her cello.

“Let’s just leave,” you grabbed your cup and were about to head out when you hear some ruckus from behind you.

“What do you mean we have to leave?” Emily yelled at the barista standing in front of her group.

“It means, if I don’t see your little butts making their way out that door in the next minute, I will call campus police and file a report against you.” She placed her hands on her hips and didn’t budge when one of the guy stood up and got in her face. “Oh yeah and why should we believe you?” He pulled up his sleeves and smiled down at her.

“Because under Section 2.7-C, I have the right to kick you out for not only being unreasonably rowdy, and having already finished your orders an hour ago, but also lacking adequate hygiene seeing as you are, I’m assuming, football players and frankly, smell like ass. Since you’re in a public restaurant, it is my responsibility to keep this space clean and peaceful.” None of them said anything to the barista, blank expressions making everyone laugh and clap before Emily stood up again.

“You’re bluffing.”

“Sweetheart, I’m in three-L, I’m getting hired to become a prosecutor, and the Bar exam in this state is a piece of cake. So I would leave if I were you. Enjoy your pumpkin spice latte!” She smiled at her before looking at you and winking, crossing her arms and seeing the entire group ignoring you as they left. You walked up to her immediately to ask her what that was all about.

“Thank you so much you we were just leaving and I-”

“Don’t worry about it. There’s no place for bullies here and honestly they were too fucking loud.”

“That was so freaking cool and I’m in awe.”

“I may have pulled that law out of my ass but technically, it still applies. Just forgot what section it was under.” She rubbed your shoulder and told you to enjoy the rest of your night. You left with your friend and headed to your place, laughing along with your friend because how scared they looked.

“You have it bad Chris. Make a move on her or else I will.” Angela threw her towel at the corner where Chris stood the entire time. “Don’t you fucking dare!” He pointed at his friend and grabbed the coffee meant for you.

“Thank you by the way. I owe you one.” Chris lowered his head, clasping his hands together to thank his friend.

“Hell yeah you do, got get’em tiger,” she smiled before pushing him out the way and getting back to her work. When he made it back to the house, he smiled when he saw you making dinner in the kitchen. But that smile evaporated as soon as he heard the obnoxious yelling coming from the second floor. Ignoring them, he walked towards you and cleared his throat, waving when you turned around and and said hi.

“So Liam was telling me you needed help with some chemistry and I- well I was on my way back and thought....umm, you’re probably going to study tonight and instead of making yourself some coffee, I got this.” Chris placed the cup on the kitchen table and stared at you.

“Oh, wow god you didn’t have to Chris that’s, you’re too nice.”

“I asked for hazelnut, I know you like it so, yeah it it was nothing really.” He stuttered and if you weren’t blown away by what he did, you would’ve found it really cute that a man like him was shy around you.

“I’m sure you’re really busy and I’d hate to have you waste your time helping me out with something like that and-”

“No no seriously it’s nothing. I’m already done with my exams and I’m not doing much next week.”

“You’re not going back for Christmas?” You didn’t want to sound too desperate to have him around but you couldn’t help it.

“Nope, I’m doing some interviews here then I leave to Pennsylvania for another one and then Washington and then California but until then, I’m a free-ish man.” Knowing it wasn’t in your place to ask him about the interviews, you just nodded and shut the stove off, telling him you’ll eat quickly before bringing down your stuff.

“How about we just stay upstairs? Avoid those idiots and wait until they leave.” He tried not to look to nervous asking you that question and relaxed when you took it with the best intentions.

“Yeah sounds good, and thank you so much it means a lot. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong but I just can’t seem to understand any of that stuff.”

“It’s definitely not for everyone. I can barely stand it sometimes.” Chris wasn’t one for showing off and he raised his hands when you called him on his bullshit. “What do you mean?”

“I was talking to your friend and he told me you were a genius when it came to all of this...he even told me you make him feel stupid sometimes.” You laughed when Chris looked offended by what you said, and thought this wasn’t too bad of a start after all.

“I never!! I just happened to study more than him and don’t fuck around when the professor is lecturing.” He grabbed a cookie from his bag and started eating. You tried not to let it affect you but the way he swore made you feel some kind of way that you hoped would go soon.

#chris beck #chris beck x reader #sebastian stan #the martian #sebastian stan x reader #chris beck fanfiction #space #nasa #chris beckxreader #music #the martian au

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hcazj · 4 years

Photo

made a cover for my whack af mchanzo nanowrimo 2019 novel. u can find it on ao3 via “finding you in the buckass of nowhere” lmao. prologue under the cut but after this i will be exclusively posting on ao3

PROLOGUE

The sun rises high into the sky, casting shadows on everything residing on the surface. Jesse gives a loud yawn before scratching his scrappy goatee and turning the page on a health textbook he was given by Angela by instruction of his residing commander. He didn’t know how the conversation had started, but during a debriefing on the latest mission in one of the meeting rooms, one of the punks on the Blackwatch team had decided to give Gabriel Reyes a run for his money and ask if he had a soulmate waiting back home. Gabe, of course, had laughed in that guy’s face. He laughed like it was the funniest thing in the entire world.

And just as he was laughing, something miraculous happened. The team was visited by none other than Overwatch’s Strike Commander, who not only served as a face for publicity stunts, but also was the head of operations. And the strike teams, hence the title.

“He better not.” Soldier: 76, better known as Jack Morrison, said as he practically kicked the meeting room door open with his boot. He looked pissed. And also had a stack of papers on him. It looked like someone forgot to get their morning coffee. “He’d have some serious explaining to do.”

There were a couple whispers across the table, a couple agents trying to understand the implications of what had just transpired. Jesse swore he saw some of his teammates starting to sweat. The band of Blackwatch agents saw Gabriel Reyes flash his most charming smile. The rascal could look good when he wanted to.

“Jackie, you’re backie. Not in blackie, though. I’m happy you’re openly talking about this, but didn’t we agree not to tell anyone? Also, hey, dinner at 8 in my room.” And then Gabe winked at Jack. Ew.

Jack sighed, crossing his arms, and not so subtly cueing to the assortment of medals pinned to the lapel of his cornflower blue coat. Subtle. He addressed Gabe. “Remember last night? Well, I’ve decided to become the possessive bastard you always wanted.” He gave an intimidating glance at everyone in the room. “How are you kids doing? I’m sure you’ve met me around. Though you probably didn’t think I’d be so involved with Gabe. Like, probably never expected in a million years that I was his soulmate. But yeah. That’s classified information, not a peep out of this room unless you want your life to being an even more visceral piece of hell.”

Someone gulped in anxiety. Someone sneered in ennui. But if Blackwatch owned anything, it was a pile of troublemakers.

Now, Jesse hadn’t been part of Blackwatch too long, but it never took him that long to make friends. Genji--Jesse’s best friend and second best troublemaker in Blackwatch history--decided it was his turn to say something. (Jesse liked to think of himself as the best troublemaker, but that was an entirely different discussion).

“And how are you going to do that exactly? Your boyfriend already has us running laps across the Mediterranean.” Genji sat proudly with his feet resting on the table, and Jack gave him a look of disgust.

Jack excused the moment of insubordination, and walked right past the table and into the arms of his lover. They shared a quick kiss after a moment of lingering in each others arms, much to the dismay of everyone else in the meeting room. And if Jack was good at anything, it was playing games with new recruits.

“What’s up, marido ? What makes my darling husband so sad?” Gabe said, combing his hair through the tufts of Jack’s pale blond hair. It was thin, very much unlike his own, but he liked to try.

Jack laughed, trying to materialize every ounce of theatrics he had stored in his body for this very moment. “My sweet love, I just don’t know how I’m going to live if you don’t assign your soldiers 50 more pushups each every morning before breakfast. They’re not super soldiers like us, but we must make sure they are raised right. They’re like our kids, to me.” Jack lifted a leg off the floor, like he was swooning for real.

Groaning broke out around the table, and Jesse wasn’t sure if his teammates were groaning at the obviously satirical display of affection, or at the thought of actually being assigned even more pushups every morning.

It was Gabe’s turn to laugh. “Aw, Jack. We’re going to have a conversation later on why you’re so touchy today. Let me kiss you goodbye, though.” He planted another kiss on his husband’s nose before resuming business as per usual. Jack begrudgingly peeled himself off of his husband, but not without greeting their personal pet project. He smacked the stack of autopsies in front of Jesse and gave him a wink, before ruffling through the kid’s hair.

Gabe cleared his throat, as the door shut. Radio silence. He looked at Genji, who was making paper triangle footballs to send flying across the room. Genji looked up at him and discarded the paper football into the recycling bin. Gabe swore, some of the people on this team had the attention span of gnats.

“Ok, amigxs. Before we get into the details of the upcoming mission abroad, Jack was serious about our relationship being confidential. Think of the absolute horror you would cause if the UN caught winding that I’m fucking their Strick Commander. Like, maybe it’s funny. Actually, that’s pretty fucking funny. Can I get a laugh track going here?”

Jesse was the first to start hooting and hollering. A round of applause followed. If Gabe getting laid meant a happy Gabe, who cared, really? Sure, it could cause an international scandal, but Jesse liked to take it a day at a time.

“Thanks, caballero. Ok. It might be the funniest thing ever, but let’s be serious. I don’t want to fire any of you, but if wind caught that I’m soulmates with Jack, that would probably raise some suspicions of nepotism. Now we all know that I’m a very accomplished man, with a great piece of ass too, but it could potentially mean getting the pink slip from the higher higher ups. And all of you would probably also be out of the job, since Blackwatch technically does not exist. Really. So please don’t, if you value your paycheck.

“Alright, anyways. Any questions before we begin reviewing these autopsy reports like a pack of lawyers from a video game?” Gabe asked.

Jesse McCree had a question.

He partially raised his hand like a kid in a classroom, but then put it back down as he was contemplating if he should ask it at all, but then fully raised his hand as he thought ‘fuck it’.

“Hey, son. What’s bothering you? No, I don’t have any Nature Grain bars to feed you right now, please wait until after the meeting,” Gabe said. That aroused another short round of laughter from the people at the meeting.

Jesse chuckled too, because he had actually asked for a Nature Grain before in the middle of a mission. But he had a question to ask, and that was very important. “Hey, so, uhhhhh. I don’t know if this is relevant, or important enough, but what in tarnation’s a soulmate again?”

And Jesse kind of knew too, but only vaguely, like the word ‘esoteric’.

Of course, ‘esoteric’ is a word that is used to describe when something is only understood by a small set of people. Like you could call string theory ‘esoteric’, because who the fuck knows what string theory is? But it comes around often enough that people have heard of string theory, if only by name. You could even consider the word ‘esoteric’ esoteric. That was kind of funny. But Jesse was raised in the pit of the South with a single mother, before he found himself living a life of crime. He reconsidered how esoteric the word ‘soulmates’ was.

Like ‘esoteric’, ‘soulmates’ was not a word that came up when Jesse was robbing trains for a living, nor running from the police after a shooting with an opposing gang, nor in the middle of jewelry heists in the heart of Santa Fe. ‘Soulmates’ wasn’t necessary by any means of the word, that word, necessary. But maybe while he had only heard it a handful of times, with no definition to attach to the word, maybe everyone else had.

He felt like he was the odd duck out, and that was hard to do in a group of mother fucking misfits. Like, come on, Genji was basically a fucking cyborg. Gabe had gone through that freak of a soldier enhancement program that probably fucked with his biology in ways Jesse would never understand. Moira, their resident evil scientist, shot floating orbs out of her hands in the middle of combat. What the fuck was that about? Did she hone the essence of Orbeez for the inspiration behind her primary weapon? Jesse had some real mother fucking questions.

And a lot of the times, he asked them too.

But out of all of the unprofessional and obscure questions he had asked in his life, and even just in his short stay at Blackwatch where he could ask some pretty weird things, he had never asked a question that just about floored so many different people all at once. It’s like, he asked the question about soulmates, and the question took the cake. It took the cake and ran away with the spoon and like, eloped with the dish. And fucked the moon. Jesse didn’t think there was a reason for everyone to look so scandalized, though.

Because questions didn’t take cakes, or run with spoons, or elope, or fuck.

Gabe had a face that betrayed emotions Jesse knew Gabe didn’t show often: remorse. Of course, ‘remorse’ kind of sounded like ‘Morrison’ and that was funny for 2 seconds. But it was downright scary. Jesse was the type of person that was always starting something.

2 days ago, he had snuck into the mess hall at 3:30AM to steal a bag of doritos. Last week, he got captured on a mission and had to be rescued from an abandoned warehouse. Yesterday, he accidentally passed a stink bomb so bad, Gabe started coughing and moved their weekly recap meeting outside. And it was raining, too.

“Kid, did you ever take a health class before dropping out of school?” Gabe asked.

Jesse didn’t know how to answer that. “Well, I know how my body works, thank you. Uh, but t’answer your question…. No. What’s that got t’do with soulmates?”

Gabe scrunched his lips, wondering how he could quickly remedy the situation. This is why they paid him the big bucks. Not the biggest bucks, but more than large enough bucks. “Ok, everyone settle down for a hot second. Jesse, I’m going to comm Angela for a textbook you can read. And you probably need some one-on-one lessons on other stuff--yeah, I know you know what sex is but what about STIs? That’s half the battle. How about taking a break this week and just getting through health class?”

“But boss--”

“Trust me, this is way more important.”

Gabe took out one of his comms, one that only a limited amount of people on base had access too. It was mostly used for emergencies, but other times, was used as a quick way to contact anyone on base.

“Hey Angela! How are you? It’s Gabriel Reyes. I’m great and so is Jack-o’-Lantern thanks for asking. Do you have a this week to give some health lessons to one of our agents? I know you’re friends with our little Jesse. Great. Yeah? Perfect, please put that textbook on reserve. I’ll send Jesse down soon. Ok. Awesome. Over.” Gabe clipped the comm back into his belt. “Ok, anyone else skip health class?”

The room, for once, was a resounding silence. Moira raised her hand.

“You didn’t take health class, O’deorain? Aren’t you a doctor?” Gabe asked.

“Very funny, commander. I was wondering why you did not just ask me to prepare some lessons and generic information for Jesse, and instead contacted Angela Zeigler.” She brought a hand up to her face, and rested her cheek on her long purple nails that looked like talons.

“Hey, doc. You’re coming with us on this mission. You can help out later if Jesse wants.” Gabe sighs and turns to Jesse. “Alright, cowboy. Sorry to do this to you, and don’t let this go to your head, but I can’t just let you go gallivanting into a foreign country with no knowledge about your own body parts. Trust me. Soulmates isn’t something to mess around with. I know you’re stressed about it. Consider yourself on hourly while you lax away while hitting the books this week, ok?”

Jesse sighed and pulled his cowboy hat off of his head. He was disappointed he wouldn’t be going to Japan, but there would definitely be more opportunities for travel in the future. Filling the cracks in his education wasn’t something that he would have completely expected out of Blackwatch.

In fact, he was still reeling over getting fed 3 square meals a day. Being treated with any semblance or respect. Being valued not because he was probably the greatest sharpshooter of his generation, but for his personality and interests. Though playing old Hollywood flicks on movie night annoyed his teammates to no end, people stuck around and watched with him. And that was more valuable than ransacking a jewelry store.

“You can stick around, but I suggest getting around early since the textbook Angela has for you is several hundreds of pages long.” Gabe grinned, trying to whisk away Jesse’s problems.

Jesse replaced the hat on his head, and yawned as he stretched his arms above his head. “See y’all later, suckeroonies. Y’all hear that? I’m being paid to stay on base this week!”

More laughter from the gallery. Jesse got a few pats on the back. Genji flicked a paper football in his direction, and it smacked Jesse straight in the forehead.

“Text me” Genji said with a salute. Gabriel cleared his throat and held out his hand.

Genji sighed as he was caught red handed, and surrendered his stash of paper footballs. A beat passed, and Gabriel remained focused on Genji. Genji took the paper footballs out of the pockets of his sweatpants and handed those over too.

That Genji.

Jesse snuck out the door as the team started talking about the autopsy reports, and was off to find Angela.

And not to say he wasn’t disappointed at not being able to travel with the rest of the team this time, but he tried to stick to the silver lining: gorging on breadsticks. Sometimes they were stale, but hit those babies with an unearthly and disgusting amount of ranch dressing, and Jesse would eat them like there was no tomorrow. Being paid also wasn’t half bad. And getting his question answered certainly wasn’t that bad.

He walked past the kitchen, one of the larger living rooms, and some of the barracks before taking an elevator up a few floors to the right area. Why wasn’t the med bay in the middle of the building?

Angela “Mercy” Zeigler was one of Overwatch’s doctors. She was at the top of her field at a young age, and a dear friend of Jesse’s. While the two could not have come from more different worlds, they bonded over some obscure things like miniature scented soaps. Besides, Jesse got injured so much on missions, they practically had to become friends. Angela was huge on doctor patient confidentiality, but that didn’t stop her from chewing Jesse out every single time he came back needing a cast.

If taking health classes was urgent enough for Gabe to kick him off of the latest mission, it had to be some level of important. How important could the whole soulmates thing be ? The elevator dinged and he followed the path he knew by heart to Angela’s office. He knocked on her door.

“Come in!” someone called from the other side.

He stepped inside. The examination room was just like he remembered it. White walls, with neat stacks of papers and books sitting in the corners by a computer desk. He was always impressed by how Angela worked, nothing seemed to get by her despite the clear lack of organization she subjected her belongings to. “Angie! Reckon you have a moment to spare for an old cowboy?”

She looked up from the paper she was reading and instinctively scanned the length of his body. “What appears to be the problem, Jesse? Ah. You’re here so early. Health lessons?”

“Correcto-mundo.”

She stifled a laugh and motioned to the examination table. “Feel free to take a seat, I’ll set up one of the projects. I have time to give you a quick lesson today, but otherwise believe you are just going to have to read a textbook and call me with any pertinent questions. We should also have a quick quiz at the end of the week just to see if you have retained any information. Where would you like to start?”

Jesse started swinging his legs back and forth, and took his hat off to get comfortable. This would be the closest he’d ever gotten to college. “What the hell’s a soulmate, Angela?”

“Ah, yes. That is a fun topic. Let us begin.”

And that is how Jesse finds himself reading through what has got to be the densest book he’s ever laid his pretty brown eyes on. Reading this thing is like trying to breath in a chunky soup. There’s just too much going on for it to be possible, but some find a way to make it happen. Not many, but some. The sun, now past noon, has travelled lower into the sky during the course of the afternoon. He sits on a cliff by the Overwatch base in Gibraltar, after thoroughly being lectured this morning by Dr. Zeigler.

Jesse rolls over, book in hand, and takes a moment to look over the cliff he’s been sitting at the whole time. The sea beneath him crashes into the crook of the precipice, leaving sparkling moisture behind to glitter in the sun. Who needed to go to Japan for a mission anyways? He sighed.

He glanced back down at his textbook. Jesse swears he’s never read so much in his life.

The connection between soulmates has not yet been properly explained by the lengths of modern medicine .

Great. Just what Angela said.

However, there is one documented process that occurs between a pair of soulmates. When an individual instigates skin-to-skin contact with their soulmate for the first time, their touch will leave a mark in the shape of the touch. For example, if a person accidentally bumps into their soulmate and the two touch shoulders, the initiator of the touch (IOT for short) will leave a shoulder shaped imprint on the receiver of the touch (ROT for short). Though the receiver may not see the mark form on their skin automatically, they will automatically feel a connection to their soulmate. However, the IOT will not feel anything short of some shoulder discomfort during this exchange.

Individuals in Markwell’s case study report that a forming soulmate connection feels like being “stuck in a movie montage” (Markwell 40). The ROT will automatically reel through a selection of events from the IOT’s life, and thus, gaining a better understanding of their fated person .

Hm.

When someone first receives their soulmate marking, Markwell reports, “it is common to freeze up as the memories are being transferred from person to person” (Markwell 41). In order to seal the bond and make it permanent, the ROT must then instigate skin-to-skin contact with the original IOT. Otherwise, any received soulmate marks will slowly fade over time, though never completely disappear.

Soulmates do not have to be romantic couples. Some opt for friendship, or other types of relationships. However, the majority of soulmates do end up spending the rest of their lives together in some form, due to the depth of their unique connection.

It is possible for soulmates to never meet, because before initial skin-to-skin contact, there are currently no medical tools available that accurately predict the existence of a soulmate connection between two people. The next section is a photo gallery of soulmate marks .

Ok.

Some of these were pretty funny. There’s an image of someone with a neon purple pair of lips, indicating that their first contact with their soulmate was a kiss. It was so embarrassing Jesse laughed. On another page, someone just had an imprint of a dark yellow hand on their shoulder. That looked kind of cool.

Next page.

Soulmate pairs with an incomplete set of soulmate marks are another story. Individuals that have received a soulmate marking, but whom are unable to reciprocate the marking on their respective soulmate, have a greater chance of developing anxiety or depression. Individuals studied have repeatedly reported feeling listless. This has not yet been thoroughly studied. Psychiatrists predict that this is due to a mixture of reasons.

Scary.

Jesse hoped that this would never happen to him. He hoped to god, the gods, the sky, the flowing rivers and the tall mountains. He hoped this would never happen. But fate had other plans for young Jesse McCree.

#mchanzo #jesse mccree

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neonnhoney-rec · 4 years

Text

Kim Seokjin

Here are a few jin recs, most of them I've read and love, some are in my TBR. Tbh most of them are smut, but some are fluff and angst mostly angst. I will keep updating this woop woop.

I hope you enjoy tehee!

urs- @floralseokjin

first time with jin

seokjin’s been dreaming of this moment for so long…

what 2 do- @floralseokjin

what happens when the college roommate you thought was definitely going to be girl turns out to be the most gorgeous guy you’ve ever encountered in all your years of life? It’s a stupid misunderstanding on your part, but maybe, just maybe, it won’t be so bad after all…

corrupting oppa- @tayegi

you find out jin’s a virgin after watching a sex scene, and you’re about to change that

the pretending- @tayegi

jin’s in heat and he wants you to give a helping hand

a helping hand- @jjungkookislife

two old friends at a party, drunk, only one thing can happen really, let’s be honest

teach me- @kingsuckjin

Your reputation was no secret in school even before you hit eighteen and nineteen. You were trouble and everyone knew it, you weren’t about to ease up with the final few months left either, you were going to go full force. You wanted one good last big stunt to pull before the end of the year, your last year. Only one thing could top the things you’ve done, you were going to have sex with the hottest teacher in your school.

burden- @neonlights92

After the death of his wife during childbirth Kim Seokjin is unable to hold his baby daughter without grief taking control. Just three weeks after the love of his life is taken from him so suddenly, Jin is expected to marry somebody new.

You are foolish and have spent your whole life pining after Kim Seokjin from afar, even after he marries your best friend, Seul. But suddenly Seul is gone and you are expected to marry Jin and raise his child. You know your heart is already in it, but what about his?

I though I was alone @aroseforyoongi

On the day your boyfriend cheats on you, Seokjin is there to provide comfort and some greatly needed affection. He is the perfect roommate and friend. Always patient and willing to lend an ear. It is then, when you’re with him, that you realize that maybe you want more

slayer: only human- @gimmeyoon

Being the Slayer is not how you imagined spending your life, let alone your first year in college. You try to keep it together, but when an empath demon rolls into town you can’t help but vent to him. Now he knows exactly what makes the Slayer tick.

my last- @imsarabum

Jin smut where it’s your first time and they’re loving to you and you had doubts and you were nervous

club zombie- @floralseokjin

In a world overrun by zombies, you’d think everyone was a goner, but the reality is much different. A steady diet of brains lets a zombie exist as a fully functioning human. Just ignore the part where they’re technically dead… In fact, these days, the amount of zombies outweigh the humans. A lot jump at the chance to be turned. Beg for it.

Kim Seokjin controls the underground of Seoul. No one would dare cross him. That’s how most of the world goes these days. You wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of a zombie now, would you? However, you don’t quite see it like that. Spending most nights dancing at the club he owns, you catch his eye. It’s never the wrong side if you’re underneath him, right…?

insatiable- @heartbeatan

The mortal man with a broken heart and confidence. You, a succubus, donned with the task of restoring both.

the medical man- @call-me-bha

It was no surprise to anyone who knew Dr. Kim that he was the fantasy of many women, even the ones who weren’t his patients. His talents were known all across the city and you were no exception to the list of “fans” he had

a little slice of heaven- @alittlesugaorspice

You have been out of a job for a while until an ad caught your eye in the paper. After that, everything had quickly changed with the addition of a handsome CEO and six, quirky, kids in your life

roomie- @hobibliophile

When you first moved in with Jin, you thought you had hit the roommate jackpot. Turns out, living in the same apartment with this gorgeous man is a lot harder than you thought it’d be. He didn’t do anything wrong, and neither did you. It’s just this pesky thing called sexual tension.

base to base- @randombtsprincessa

You reminisce about your relationship with your boyfriend over the course of four bases.

hazy- @yoonia

Jin + “You have no idea what you have gotten yourself into.”+ Pub au

peach parfait- @jamaisjoons

you and seokjin have always been at odds as the top two chefs at big hit academy of culinary arts. enemies to lovers au

the stranger @btssmutgalore

When your plane hits turbulence, you start panicking and tell some of your biggest secrets to the attractive stranger sitting next to you.

washing machine- @btssmutgalore

Jin shows you another way to use the old washing machine.

off limits @floralseokjin

you’ve been lusting after your brother’s best friend for a while now, ever since you met him at a house party, flirting it up a storm as you failed to realise who the other was. That was months ago now and things are still awkward, but you can’t ignore the sexual tension that’s simmers between the two of you…and it keeps getting worse…

father of six (wolf pups that is)- @army-author

There are rumours going around our school about a pack of werewolves that live close by. Of course, I don’t believe it, but you have been acting kind of weird lately…

currents- @yeoldontknow

Jin thinks he’s loved you since the moment he saw you, back when you were teenagers; Jin knows he’s been in love with you, the soul burning kind of love, since he saw you on your wedding day. He doesn’t mind that you don’t reciprocate on his level, he’s just happy to show you he cares. Until one day, he simply can’t anymore. Until one day, you realize you need to show him you care, too.

petals- @bloomsuga

After a tense conversation the previous day leaves you unsure of your relationship status, your boyfriend, flower shop owner and single dad, Kim Seokjin, finds an unprecedented way to make it up to you…

sharing is caring- @littlemisskookie

Jin graciously decides to loan you to handsome Park Jimin for the night.

perfect- @btssmutgalore

Your roommate seems to have it all - great grades, amazing friends, good job, beautiful girlfriend. However, after a bad breakup and a long recovery, you realize there’s one thing he’s missing

lovely little mess- @guksheart

telling seokjin of your pregnancy should not be so daunting, but you keep it hidden from him as long as you can—at least until you are sitting with him in a bathtub and the secret comes spilling out. (expecting parents au)

London calling- @talie98

Camera operator Rory James thinks she is going to another filmmaking conference. Everything changes when she gets on the same plane with Kim Seok-jin.

daydream- @dom-joonie

Your literature professor has a bit of a…gift. A gift that let’s him see other peoples thoughts when he wants to. And despite the fact that he warns his class openly about this gift, one day you forget, and find yourself in a bit of pickle when Kim Seokjin reads your mind, and finds you imagining some not so school appropriate scenarios…involving him.

sexploration- a little tied- @joopiterjoon

sub jin get’s a little tied up

a kiss of marble- @jinpire (kimtrain ao3)

His gaze trails down your nose and lingers on your lips, before falling to the curve of your neck and the tiny bend of your shoulder visible above your t-shirt, the attention so acute and suggestive that it feels like a tangible brush on your skin. “Hmm… I’ve got a few ideas.” [Vampire!Seokjin, donor! reader]

lost control- @floralseokjin

you’ve always wondered what it would feel like to take control in the bedroom for once and Seokjin’s more than happy to let you do as you please…

sunrise- @ironicarmy

During the trip to his parent’s lakehouse, you and Jin decide it is now the perfect time to Marvin Gaye, after years of waiting for the right moment. However, with your friends tagging along and their own emotional baggage to deal with, having the perfect night is proving to be a challenge. So, will you, or won’t you?

dear ophilia- @noir0neko

The most dangerous people can be the most exciting…(bit dark, just a warning)

the devil wears armani- @floralseokjin

You never imagined accidentally attempting to sell your soul to the devil would lead to this…

float like a butterfly swim like a fish- @bangtaninink

pool sex with college senior and captain of the swim team jin

burgers, fries, and some ice- @moononthejoon

saying i love you to someone for the first time should not be in a diner in the middle of nowhere, but things never go the way you want them to be

definitely you- @moononthejoon

money can buy you everything, well, not everything, it can’t buy love. seokjin had found that out and now he remained wifeless. little did he know he would find love where he least expected it.

bite!- @nottojay

Jin’s calm and collected; you’re anything but. Jin’s got fangs and super strength, and you can put up with Taehyung and Jimin’s antics.

just a coffee- @mind-of-a-hardstan

Jin comes back to visit a few months after he moved away to study. You invite him over for coffee and naturally you end up talking for hours. And then you end up in his lap…

the green light- @nottojay

Seokjin has the looks. He has the money. He has the success. He has the friends. He has it all. Well, all except you. The light at the end of the dock.

before the after- @ddaengyoonmin

The end of the world kinda happens

“I wouldn’t fuck you if you were the last man on earth”

first time with jin- @inkjam-moon

reader’s first time

carnival rides- @geniuslab

Working at your parents’ funnel cake stand during the summer sounds like a decent enough gig. But you didn’t quite plan for the exhausting heat or the cute gelato guy who would make it his mission to get you to like him. Warning: This ride will get you wet!

sleeping with a friend- @underthejoon

friends to loves, a classic

big dick, big heart- @floralseokjin

your new boyfriend has a really big dick

guarded- @kpopfanfictrash

“Was that supposed to be a wink, or did you blink at different times on purpose?”- life guard au

under the coven’s protection- @army-author

I’m a vampire, and you’re a human who’s prone to getting hurt. Please take better care of yourself, or I might not be able to control myself!

bound for life- @versigny

ummm pegging?

best friend- @littlemeowmeowschimmy

Being away from your best friend for years suddenly sparks some sexual tension which both of you don’t have a problem releasing

dimple- @floralseokjin

What’s the rule again? How many dates does it take for you have sex with a guy? Three? Five? Ten?! What if all this waiting and you can’t remember how to do it? It’s been so long since the last time you swear you’ve forgotten! You’re desperate, and that’s how you end up asking your roommate for help. Only trouble is, you get much more than you bargained for…

enraptured love- @kookscrescent

You are still in the beginning stages of your relationship. Still learning about each other, and both enjoying taking things slow, but at this stage you are both more than ready to take things a step further.

rock hard- @jiminspjm

“recreational activities make me hard” - rock climbing au

the man in the pink cape- @randombtsprincessa

You reminisce about your relationship with your boyfriend over the course of four bases.

love bite- @taetaesbaebaepsae

Seokjin knows he’s handsome, but he can’t shake the feeling that maybe you want him for something other than his good looks…

serendipity- @iq-biased

A string of events after a one night stand have you getting closer to a single dad than you’d initially intended.

(s)ex calling- @mintedmango

Your life was in shambles. No job, no money for your next semester in college and your roommate won’t let you mooch off of him again… What are you supposed to do when you see an ad for the HOTLINE app? Turn down easy money? This summer was going to be one you never forget!

softy- @gukptune

a freshman and senior seemingly despise each other, one says the other acts older than they are and one says the other acts like a child, a feud brewing within the estranged pair

golden boy- @kpopfanfictrash

The golden boy of the porn industry, prettier than half his female co-stars. Will sue if you pull his hair. Always bothering his neighbors with pizza delivery.

amaranthine- @versigny

vamp Jin Drabble

the stalk- @versigny

single mum reader

Piece by piece- @underthejoon

a collection of drabbles where your love life is muddied up by two men – the one you love and the one that loves you.

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aliceslantern · 4 years

Text

Beyond this Existence: Atonement, chapter 2

Ansem always had a penchant for strays, so it's not at all surprising when he takes in the orphaned child Ienzo. The boy's presence changes everything, far more than Even is willing to admit. Ienzo's brilliance seems promising, but the arrival of a young Xehanort pushes the apprentices onto a dark, cruel, inhumane path which will affect the future of the World. And even once it's all over with--once Xehanort is dead--they still must pick up the pieces, forgive one another, find a way to atone for their atrocities, and struggle to accept the humanity which has been thrust upon them.

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

---

Ienzo has just turned six. He’s been at the castle for most of a year.

Aeleus is icing the simple white cake when Even goes to get his morning coffee. “You’re spoiling the boy,” he says in lieu of greeting. “Ansem gives him more than enough sugar with all the ice cream.”

Aeleus shrugs. “It’s not a birthday without cake.”

“Indeed, when presented with such things when I was younger, I nearly went feral,” Dilan says. “Though sugar does not seem to affect his countenance.”

“Not much does.”

“It’s worth celebrating, that he’s speaking,” Aeleus says. He puts the frosting knife in the sink. “Maybe we can encourage him to talk more.”

He still does not speak much, even now. His sentences are short, plain, often monosyllabic. At least they no longer need to rely on the whiteboard.

But now that he speaks, his nightmares have heft, sound. Even can hear him cry for them. It never hurts any less.

“Ah, speak of the devil,” Dilan says. Ienzo appears, still in pajamas, rubbing his eyes. “Happy birthday.”

He blinks. “That’s today?”

Even chuckles. “I figure today we can do something you like. Play, or perhaps go outside?”

Ienzo opens the fridge door and takes out a juice box. “No thank you,” he says politely. “I want to finish my book.”

“Anything for the prince, eh,” Dilan says. He’s taken to calling Ienzo that; despite the fact that he and Ansem have no blood ties and that “king” is an elected title. “If you go outside you can get more books, you know. Not just this dusty old tosh.”

This grabs his attention.

“I’ll even buy you one as a present.”

Ienzo turns pink. “Thank you.”

Dilan smiles. “Why it is my pleasure. Go get dressed. We can leave after breakfast.”

He retreats to his room quickly. Even puts up oatmeal. “That’s kind of you,” he says.

“He needs exercise. It’s not normal to be cooped up all day.”

“Dilan spoils the boy, but I can’t?” Aeleus asks dryly. “The double standards.”

Even laughs a little. “Such is the way of life.”

He returns to his lab. He had success with another fertilization; this one actually divided twice before dying. What was the difference? He doesn’t think he did anything differently. During all of his medical school studies, he did not recall IVF to be so finicky.

This isn’t the same thing. It’s a vehicle.

He studies the corpses of the cells under blacklight, trying to find anything that might illuminate the truth.

---

Ansem approaches him now, not the other way around. Even would be lying if he said he doesn’t enjoy the power. “Sorry to intrude,” he says.

Even looks up from the chaise and decides to be nice. “Nothing to intrude. I was mending Ienzo’s coat. He’s growing so quickly, I had to let down the hem.” They can buy clothes at the shops, but not many vendors sell lab coats in children’s sizes. They’re teaching Ienzo general chemistry; he needs to have protection.

“You’re sure? He’s awfully small.”

He hums idly. “He’s on the bottom end of average,” he admits. “I have a feeling Ienzo will always be relatively petite. But he eats plenty, and Dilan introduced him to the library in town, which is an incentive to walk.”

“...He goes on his own now?” Ansem asks. He sits without being invited.

Even pauses slightly in his stitching. “How old were you when you ran your first errand?” he asks instead. “He has to be back in half an hour, otherwise we take away the books. Funny. For most children reading is punishment.” He holds up the jacket, checking for evenness. “Can I help you with something?”

He picks up the book he’s carried in. It’s an odd size, old, the cut of the paper uneven. “I… admit I still do not know anything about which you’re working. But I know you have a body problem. I wonder if this might help.”

He eyes it derisively. “Not exactly cutting edge science, is it?”

Ansem chuckles. “No, but… I’ve spoken with a new… friend, and I wonder if this is food for thought.”

Even takes the book from him. The font is ancient, hard to read. “ Mysticism of the Heart? Sounds a bit… Romantic.”

Ansem shakes his head. “It’s nothing to do with feelings. Well, not quite. The author was a sorcerer… oh, many years ago. She studied the heart.”

“...As have I. As have we all.”

“The metaphysical heart, Even.” He seems exasperated. “I find myself… intrigued, as well. I was up all night reading it.”

“...That so?” He strokes the cover, the soft, crumbling leather.

“If you… want to make something living, you have to understand the forces behind it. At least, that’s how I see it.”

“None of this is proven,” Even says, but despite himself he can feel his mind stirring, the block loosening.

“Maybe not with science. Maybe not with black and white.”

“Consider my interest… piqued.”

---

Like Ansem, he finds himself engrossed in every page; he takes copious notes. The text is hard to read, from the font to the fact that it is an older dialect of their language. But the ideas behind it are fascinating, and not just from a scientific standpoint.

Everyone knows a person is made of a body, heart, and will; but nobody understands the latter two, how they function. Nobody can test something so abstract. But if he can figure it out… or at least start to get there… maybe it will mean something for the dying cells smeared on his slides.

He can feel an excitement rising in him, an eagerness, a passion, that he hasn’t experienced in some time. He’s finally getting somewhere. He photocopies the book to have as reference, and without a word, gives it to Aeleus.

Within two weeks none of them can shut up about it. Ienzo watches them discuss it, warily, another fantasy story in his hands. Even finds himself digging through the libraries all throughout the castle for more--there has to be more. But everything else he finds about the heart is vague, at best. Limited. A single line in a dictionary. He bites the bullet and begins looking towards texts of religion and philosophy as well, but unlike Mysticism of the Heart , it is all waffling.

The sorcerer who crafted the book spent her whole life studying the heart. After apprenticing under a master magician, she spent years crafting spells to look within--to feel the heart, what it might mean. She asked as many people as she dared (it was a time and place where magic was viewed as heresy, so Even can’t help but admire her nerve) if she, too, could look within their hearts. She wrote out each as a case study, but her major conclusions were as follows:

Hearts are not mere physical matter. They are made of two forms of metamatter, heretoafter deemed “light” and “darkness.” Like yin and yang, they were not necessarily good and evil, but rather seemed to have certain qualities: light was associated with feeling, healing, and nurturing, while darkness was associated with power, knowledge, and a desire to better oneself rather than the collective.

Hearts are about “feeling”, about aqueous aspects of identity.

The presence of bonds seem to make a heart stronger or weaker, depending on their health.

Stronger individuals could always produce more and fulfill themselves more.

Even had, of course, studied darkness and light; but they had been viewed mostly as pejoratives, things that were intangible. If this is right--this dusty old tome from who knows how long ago--it’s so much more literal than they ever could have guessed.

---

He is trying to draft ways to explore this more clearly when Ienzo finds him. Without a single word, he places a book on Even’s lap. “...What’s this?” Even asks him.

“It talks about hearts.”

Even examines it. It’s a fairy story; one from Ansem’s study. He feels a swell of something like pride when he realizes that Ienzo likely took it without permission. “A fantasy story?” he asks.

Ienzo shrugs. “They talk about dark and light.”

There’s no point on waiting for him to elaborate. “I will… examine it in more detail,” he says, shunting it to the bottom of his list.

Ienzo begins to leave, but then turns. “And magic,” he says.

Even furrows his brows. Acting on impulse, he opens the storybook Ienzo left behind.

Well, hell.

---

It all causes a massive dissonance; how much lore, nebulous and malleable, actually has more truth in it than they all think?

As a man of science, and yes, he thinks, reason, how can he possibly believe it, when this whole time he only believed what could be proven with numbers?

Even’s mind slivers into pieces: the part of him invested in his experiment; the part of him beginning to play into this heart nonsense; and the part of him that looks after Ienzo. Because the boy really does need looking after.

He’s still not well--with the absence of proper treatment, he can never be well. No longer trusting only Ansem’s word, Even takes a look at his predecessor’s reports--Ansem’s office is so disorganized, he will never notice if these things go missing for a few hours--and discovers to his horror that Ansem wasn’t embellishing at all.

The shift in Radiant Garden’s economy from manufacturing to STEM brought unprecedented progress. It increased their food yields, meaning nobody went hungry; it gave them technology and medicine to save lives, to make life in general easier. But with that shift meant a loss in other ways of other studies; they became neglected. Namely, the humanities. And under these older referendums, psychology was not deemed a hard science.

The people are feeling the strain. This, on top of the cultural stigma that comes with seeking help. Not so many students are studying the subject--none that will pursue the accreditation, anyway. Meaning with a dying and retiring population of therapists, there’s increasingly nowhere to turn to.

It isn’t just psychology, either. Even doesn’t have the time to crunch the numbers, but with the arts and humanities slowly being neglected, Radiant Garden is going through a slow cultural death. It upsets him more than he thought possible.

Perhaps this is why, after one of Ienzo’s nightmares, he does more than leave him be.

It’s almost a routine at this point. It’s clear that Ienzo has no control of himself during these spells; as soon as he wakes up, he tries his utmost to quiet the cries, so as not to disturb the rest of them. More upsetting yet.

Even brings him a cup of weak tea with honey, a cool cloth for his face. “...Are you alright?” he asks the boy. He has no idea where to begin. “How do you… feel?”

Ienzo looks at him as though he couldn’t have asked a stranger question.

He tries again, feeling rapidly out of his depth. “Are you afraid?”

He sniffles. “No. I… see them.”

“In your dreams?”

“All the time.” His small hands tremble when he takes the teacup. “I know they’re… dead.”

“Yes,” Even says. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t… remember. Except for…” He touches his shoulder. “Did I make it up? Those monsters.”

“...No.”

He considers this. “They ate them?”

Even flinches without meaning to.

Ienzo interprets this as a confirmation. “They ate them.”

“It is never… easy, to lose someone.” The ever-present ache around his heart tightens. “We’ve… tried measures, to get rid of them.” It doesn’t help that the Unversed population is almost impossible to track; but this isn’t Even’s purview. “We won’t let anyone hurt you.”

“I know,” he says.

“It’s okay to miss them,” Even says. “You know this, yes?”

Slowly, Ienzo nods. “Where are they?”

“We… had them cremated shortly afterwards. While you were recovering.”

He shakes his head, and repeats the question.

“Oh… well… there’s no clear answer.” He clears his throat. “Some people believe that they go to a heaven, or an afterworld. Others believe that their souls are reincarnated into other people, or animals. Some think that they… merely go to sleep.”

He thinks about this. “Is it peaceful?”

Even’s heart about breaks. “Yes,” he says softly. “It’s very peaceful.”

“...Okay,” he says, and shrugs. “As long as they’re okay.”

“If you would like, I can… make a space for you to mourn. With the… mortuary tablets.”

“No thank you,” he says. “I’m tired now. Good night.”

---

Even does not know how else to broach the subject, but the conversation reveals him to be something of a hypocrite. How can he possibly teach Ienzo how to grieve when he refuses to grieve his own losses?

But he can’t begin the process and not end it; it would be continual, it would take work. It would distract him for his research and possibly incapacitate him for some time. He couldn’t give in to that urge now, not when he is so close to a solution. This is what’s been missing, he’s sure. Something… that can’t be created literally. But to move forward first he needs to understand more about hearts, and how they relate to their people.

“Master? Forgive me for intruding.”

Ansem looks up at him wearily. “Oh… hello.”

“Are you alright?” he asks, without meaning to.

“I’m merely tired. I’ve got… more arguments on my hands. It’s hard to find the budget to jumpstart a mental health program without taking away other things--and none of my colleagues can stand any of my suggestions.”

“I’ve no idea why you decided to go into politics.”

“Consider me a fool for trying to enact change.” Ansem sighs. “What is it you need?”

Even folds his hands together. “I don’t need more resources, but I was hoping to… reallocate some things,” he says. “We--Aeleus and Dilan too--would like to investigate the matters of the heart more scientifically. It would mean certain projects would have to wait, but… we all feel a passion for it, and I can’t pretend that’s meaningless.”

“...Yes,” Ansem says. “I… feel the same way about it. Finding truths about life itself… would make my work feel a lot less frivolous.”

“I can draw up a budget--”

“No need.” Ansem smiles. “Do what you must.”

---

So that’s it, then.

They need a workspace, one where they could all gather. There’s space in one of the lower levels, near the castle’s CPU; the maintenance techs will not be happy to deal with their comings and goings, but Even could care less. It is a bit isolated, but that also means it will be quiet.

It has been a long time since the four of them worked together on something, since shortly after graduate placement. And truly they had never done it like this.

Dilan surveys their office space with distaste. “...Quite sterile, isn’t it? No natural light.” Aside from two offices, the space is completely open; Ienzo spends quite some time running to and fro, and as he scarcely does this, they indulge him.

“...Is it? I could rather care less about decor.” Even opens one of the boxes and gently begins unpacking his gear into a cabinet.

“I’ll bring some plants,” Aeleus says.

“Well, we have what we need; where do we begin?” Dilan asks.

“Ansem started this. Maybe he has some clue.” There’s a loud crash; Ienzo ran clean into the sharp end of one of the metal tables and clutches his knee. He does not cry, but grits his teeth in silence. “Oh, goodness. What have you done to yourself?” At least he had the good sense to place his first aid kit towards the top of the pile. He tends to the small cut. “Be careful, alright? There are more dangerous things in this room than just a table.”

He shrugs, and drops his eyes. “I got excited,” he says.

---

It is all terribly exciting. It shouldn’t feel this strange to have Ansem back in the room with them. They sit clustered around the worktables, brainstorming or trying to; Ienzo studies, supposedly working out some math problems Dilan set him.

“There must be a way to unify these two methods,” Ansem says. “The science, the magic. Why shouldn’t it be some combination of both of them?”

Dilan all but rolls his eyes. “That’s all fine and dandy, if it were not for the fact that none of us have any training.”

“Couldn’t we learn?” Aeleus asks. “The… manuscript details how these things were done.”

Dilan twists the ends of one of his braids. “...Teach a machine how to do magic,” he says slowly. “It’s so insane that it might actually work.”

“A machine?” Ansem asks.

“Well, the manuscript also mentions how exhausting such spellwork is--not to mention, how advanced. We can’t afford to wear ourselves down. Nor do we have the time to study such things for so long.”

Even thinks about it. “You may be onto something.”

---

It takes time, and it takes all of them; fall wears into winter. The castle has always been drafty and damp, but here in the basement it’s basically unbearable. They huddle around space heaters, wander around in too many layers. Dilan spends hours--weeks--poring over page after page of blueprints, trying to figure out how to make it work.

It isn’t as if Even can sneak away to try to work on his own projects, so he focuses on Ienzo. The boy isn’t perfect; he does trip up and make mistakes and occasionally can’t wrap his head around things. He has more aptitude for some subjects than others, favoring biology over chemistry and psychology over math. Even can’t help it; maybe he can’t give Ienzo the help he needs, but maybe he can give the boy the tools to eventually help himself.

Intellectually, he’s more advanced than many. But he’s still a child, with all the trappings of one. When he sees the snow on the ground, he’s tempted. So Aeleus takes him out to play. He returns delighted, pink-faced and soaked, and for the first time Even can recall he doesn’t have a nightmare.

Then he gets sick.

The castle’s something of a germ vacuum. Of course the moment Ienzo’s vulnerable something sneaks in. At first it seems merely like a cold; he sneezes over his studies, needs to be reminded to cover his mouth. Even gives him cold medicine, keeps an eye on him; all he knows is that he can feel this is something more, and his reliance on that instinct embarrasses him. When the boy begins audibly shivering Even takes him upstairs to bed. Ienzo’s fever rises dramatically--he’d forgotten how bad, how terrifying it can be in small children. Even plies him with fluids, with an antiviral. He just has to wait, to mop the poor child’s sweaty brow and hope it gets no worse.

“...How’s our patient?” Dilan asks. He carries a tray with soup for the both of them. “Don’t protest. This is for you. You’ve been up all night.”

“It’s the flu, I’m afraid.” He’s just dipped this cloth in cool water, it’s warm already. “Thank goodness he’s sleeping. He’d be miserable otherwise.”

Dilan stares down at the lump that was Ienzo, barely visible below all the blankets. “...How bad is it?”

Even checks his log; he’s been taking his temperature every two hours, in the vain hope that it’ll break sooner rather than later. “Hovering around 40.5.”

“...Goodness, that’s…”

“If it gets higher we can chance an ice bath. But I’d rather not do that if I can avoid it. He’s already so sensitive--odds are his mind would interpret the cold as pain.”

“Couldn’t you simply… put the boy to sleep?”

“As if the ice water wouldn’t wake him up?”

Dilan puts a hand to his forehead. “Forgive me… my head is rather foggy.”

“You must be exhausted.” Even rewets the rag and places it back on Ienzo’s warm little face. “Get some rest. The last thing we need is for you to get it as well.”

He nods. “Should I… call someone?”

“Like who? Dilan.” He chuckles. “I’ve seen many sick children in my day. I promise I’m qualified.”

“I know you’re close to the boy. That can cloud things.”

“...We’ll be just fine. Your concern touches me.”

He stays with Ienzo that night; Ansem comes in and out, bringing them food, blankets, tea. He makes Even go sleep for a few hours. Even hopes his own exhaustion is just that. The last thing he needs…

Ienzo’s fever drops from 40.5 to 39. An improvement, but not much of one; now instead of being asleep, he’s conscious and miserable and the cold medicine only makes him irritated. He still can barely keep anything down. Even tries not to worry--it takes much longer than two days for the flu to pass--but inside a web of anxiety is spinning, gently, what if he doesn’t get better, what if the fever suddenly worsens in the night and he seizes, isn’t there something else I can do? He almost has to force the boy to drink, considers starting an IV line. After a few hours Ienzo sleeps, fitfully, shivering hard. Despite himself, Even drifts too, jolting back into consciousness every time his head nods. He knows he should ask for someone to relieve him, at least temporarily. But who?

During one of these sleepy waves, he hears it. “Daddy?”

Even blinks hard. “It’s Even, little one. Go back to sleep.”

He takes a shaky breath, one full of phlegm. “Where is he?”

He cracks a little. “I’m sorry. He’ll be back soon.”

“He’s supposed to--” Ienzo’s reeling a little, his eyes rolling.

“What, love?”

“The song to make it go away--” He shudders, propping himself up.

“Lay back down. It’s alright.” His family must have had rituals, Even realizes, just like any other. “I can read to you, would that help?”

“Why did they leave?” His voice breaks.

“Oh, love. They didn’t want to.”

Ienzo bursts into tears. It’s not the same as the nightmare-induced panic attacks; there’s a cold sentience to this. Almost instinctively, and against his better judgement, Even draws him into his arms. He’s unsure of how Ienzo will react to the touch, but to his surprise he feels the boy clinging to him. It feels so familiar. The weight of him is almost exactly like--

Anything but that.

He tries to focus on comforting the boy, but all he can say are some variations of “it’s alright.” It seems to take a very long time for Ienzo to calm down, settling down against Even’s chest in an exhausted heap. He dares not move, lest he disturb him more.

The next thing he knows he’s waking up, the boy still asleep in his arms. As gently as Even can, he lays him back down and tucks the blanket more securely around his shoulders. He checks the boy’s fever. 38, only a touch higher than normal. They’re out of the woods. Or, he notes with a groan as he feels a sudden ache in his back, Ienzo is. He makes his way slowly out of the room and sees Dilan. “Don’t come any closer,” he warns. “I believe I’ve caught it too.”

Dilan sighs. “I’ll bring you some soup. Best get to bed.”

“...Right. Never a dull day around here, is there?”

“If only.”

He is beginning to feel the brunt of it in earnest; he shivers as he bathes no matter how warm the water, and the blankets do not seem to be enough. Dilan, in a mask, brings him medicine. Even tries to read for a while, but nothing has straight lines anymore, so he succumbs to a restless sleep.

Of course he’s aware delirium can twist the mind, can weaken it, can lower one’s defenses. That doesn’t make him prepared for the onslaught that follows. He can see their faces clear as day as desperately as he tried to forget them--he can hear their voices--

Dad, look! Look, I got it! The boy, hanging determinedly from a set of monkey bars.

Please be careful--oh, love--

Even, kids get hurt. Let him have his fun.

He ran out of time. He should’ve been with him. If he’d’ve been there maybe none of this would’ve happened. They’d still be--

Officers in deep blue uniforms--

An electrical failure--

Transformer blew--the place likely went up in minutes.

They probably didn’t feel much of anything.

He wasn’t there, making his imagination work all the harder--did they cry? Were they together when it happened, holding one another? Did they think of him? It has to have been awful--to feel oneself be torn apart--no matter how quickly it happens--

Something cool pats his face, bringing him almost, but not quite, to consciousness. He feels horrifically nauseous. “Go back to sleep,” says the voice.

“I have to… check on him,” he mumbles.

“Ienzo’s doing much better. His fever broke. You, on the other hand--” A wry chuckle. A sound like woodsmoke.

Smoke? “I should’ve--”

“Nonsense. You took excellent care of him. Now you must look after yourself.”

“He could’ve fallen.”

“Ienzo’s going nowhere.”

Even’s feeling increasingly woozy. “He feels like him. Why did you do this to me?” And then it’s happening, he’s crying again, a sensation that physically hurts. He feels a hand on his back above the blankets.

“Why do you feel you must suffer alone?”

Darkness, for a long time. When he wakes he still feels horrid, but at least things are beginning to sharpen again. His head’s pounding, and his muscles feel like lead. He groans a little when he tries to prop himself up.

“Even?”

His head snaps up; the sudden movement worsens the pain. “You should go, you needn’t see this.”

Ansem looks exhausted. His hair is unkempt, his beard needs trimming, and the circles under his eyes are nearly comical. “You’re too unwell to take care of yourself. I was near Ienzo, so if I’m already infected, no point exposing the others.” He pours Even a glass of water and hands him a few pills. “Your fever’s not so terrifyingly high, but you were quite delirious for a while.”

“I am… aware.” He scowls. He’s so thirsty. The moment he sets down his empty glass, Ansem gets more. He’s dragged a chair to Even’s bedside; it’s here Ansem sits.

“I wish to have… a word,” he says, with difficulty.

“While I’m essentially a captive audience? Not very sportsmanlike, is it?”

“Well quite bluntly otherwise you’d flee. Because you’ve been avoiding it like the plague.”

Even lays back down with a huff.

Ansem scratches his beard. “Kick and scream, I don’t care. We’ll chalk it up to your illness. You’re clearly suffering. Pushing it away isn’t going to make it any easier. You’re living in a state of quasi-denial where everything’s fine. Everything needn’t be fine, Even.”

“You think this is denial?”

Ansem looks him in the eye. “Yes. I do. The longer you put it off, the more you don’t have to face the fact that your life is forever changed, that your residence in the castle is no longer a temporary one. You have to grieve them, Even. It’s been almost two years.”

He looks up at the ceiling. The dome light, a moth flickering around it agitatedly. “...Has it been that long already?” he asks. “I… hadn’t realized.” He’s again exhausted but can’t find the energy to be angry.

Mostly because Ansem’s right.

He feels Ansem’s warm, dry hand slide over his. “I do not expect you to be the same. But I would like you to let me help you.”

“What could you possibly do for me?”

“Listen.”

“With all your free time?”

“Even.”

He exhales shakily.

“Bonds can make a heart stronger,” Ansem says. “That’s what you need right now.”

How very like him, to frame it in context with Even’s work. “Where would I even begin?”

“You mentioned that Ienzo feels the same.”

It’s hard to breathe. “...Yes,” he says. “They’re about the same size. He was, rather. My son.” Saying it feels like getting stabbed. It’s easier not to look at Ansem, so he doesn’t.

“I… remember. But he never had an aptitude for the sciences. A gentle soul, that one.”

“Incredibly. Dare I say it, too fragile to last very long. Almost like we were tempting…” He trails off.

“...Fate? Even, I thought you didn’t believe in such things.”

“Ansem, I’m not certain of anything anymore.”

“...That’s quite alright.”

“I had wanted to make things better.”

“It’s not too late.”

“It always will be, for them.” He closes his eyes. “As for me…” He doesn’t know what else to say. “Other than my work, truly…”

“What is there to live for?”

“...I’m frightfully pathetic.”

“No. You’re in pain.” He adjusts his grip on Even’s hand. “Closing yourself off to the world won’t heal your heart.”

“I suppose it won’t.” It’s an emotion he’s unsure of, fragile and pale. “Why is it you care?”

“Even, I’ve known you since university. I’ve seen your brightness, your hope. I know you can find it again.”

“I’m afraid your certainty must be enough for the both of us.”

“I will try my best.”

---

He feels a bit different after the sickness, like he’s shifted a bit to the left. It takes a while to regather his strength, physically and otherwise. He spends this intellectually useless time with Ienzo, in the large library; the boy can’t seem to believe there are so many books. The excitement of it soothes Even. He wishes he could feel the same, that he could go back to the point where he, too, saw so much wonder.

Truthfully, other than his size, Ienzo bears no resemblance to his son. That child was an artful soul, constantly drawing; Ienzo never picks up a marker unless it is to write. That child loved to play; Ienzo would much rather read and seek stimulation more quietly. Were he older, Even thinks, Ienzo might have been a peer to himself. He surely must eventually go to university, to meet more people his age like him. Scientists are poor excuses for friends.

“So that’s him? Cute kid.”

The voice startles him; his heart jolts unpleasantly. He turns and sees a man he can only vaguely recognize, in the castle’s deep blue guard uniform; his short dark hair is slicked back, and a red kerchief covers his collar, breaking protocol for sure. “I’m sorry, can I help you?”

The man puts a hand on his hip. “Heard you guys are cooking up a project, and could use the extra help around here.” He sticks out his white-gloved hand. “Name’s Braig. We’ve met.”

Even glances briefly back at Ienzo, who has barely moved. Braig’s glove is a little dirty, and after he shakes his hand he makes a note to wash his own as soon as possible. “Then surely I needn’t introduce myself. That boy over there’s Master Ansem’s ward, Ienzo.”

“Figured. Everyone’s been talking about him.” Braig observes him for a moment. “You’re Ansem’s right hand man, aren’t you?”

“Master Ansem,” Even corrects. “And I’m one of his science officers, if that’s what you’re referring to.”

The man shrugs. “So then why are you on babysitting duty?”

Even takes a breath to compose himself. Braig’s manner is most unbecoming to a supposedly-stoic castle guard. “I assist with the boy’s education,” he says instead.

Braig chuckles. “If you want to call it that.”

He tries to bite down on his temper. “Don’t you need to return to your rounds?” he asks, politely.

He shrugs. “I’m off the clock. Just taking a look at my new digs. Only saw it briefly during orientation, which was a lot longer ago that I want to admit.”

So he doesn’t even have newness as an excuse for this behavior. “I see,” he says distastefully.

“Can I introduce myself to the kid? Don’t want to freak him out if I’m going to be around.”

Even blanches. He hates to admit Braig has a point; Ienzo needs to be familiar with those around him. “...He is rather shy. Don’t be surprised if he simply ignores you.”

Braig shrugs. “Eh, I’ve had worse.” He approaches him slowly. There’s something lazy, almost cat-like, about the way he moves. Even watches him warily. “Hey, kiddo. Whatcha reading? Doesn’t look like a whole lot of fun.”

Ienzo looks up at his assailant with an expression of dull disappointment.

“Name’s Braig. One of the castle guards. ‘Fraid you’re going to be seeing this ugly mug a lot.”

“Okay,” is all Ienzo says. He goes back to his reading. Braig crosses back over to the door.

“Not a people person, I guess,” he says. “Be seeing you, Even.”

Even bristles when Braig doesn’t use his title. “With all due politeness, if we’re to work together you must be respectful.”

Braig smirks a little. “Sure thing, Doctor. ” When he leaves, his tread is nearly soundless. Even sighs a little out of frustration.

“Ienzo? We must go get some lunch.”

“I’m not hungry,” he says, turning the page.

“You lost weight when you were ill. The last thing we need is for you to get sick again.”

---

“...I admit he’s… a character,” Dilan says, his lip curling.

“Is there no one else?” Even asks. “If this is to be the constant, I wish for it to be someone who’s… more in line with decorum.”

“Ansem does not seem to mind,” Dilan remarks. He looks pale, the skin under his eyes the color of a bruise. Even’s not sure which cup of coffee he’s on, but he’s also sure he doesn’t want to know.

“I understand the… trepidation,” Aeleus says slowly. He searches through the tome he’s holding slowly. “I worked in tandem with him for some time. Braig is very experienced, and the people like him. That’s not for nothing. Have you truly never met?”

Even feels his face reddening. “Not that I can recall.”

Dilan chuckles. “Perhaps he’ll respect you if you respect him.”

“Of course his labor is valuable.”

“...Not what I said.”

“How are things going?” Even asks instead.

He takes off his reading glasses and rubs at the bridge of his nose. “Feels I’m running a fool’s errand,” Dilan admits. “I consulted with the wizard Merlin, as Master advised, yet…” He digs something out of his pocket and sets it on the table between the three of them; it’s a blistered, patinated bit of scrap metal, its edges splintered. “This is all that’s left of my prototype.”

Ienzo hops down from his chair to investigate. He reaches up to the table to take the piece of metal, his arm too short to reach the center of the table.

“No, child, that’s quite sharp,” Dilan says.

“I just want to look at it,” Ienzo says, with a hint of a whine. Aeleus hefts the boy onto his knee. He peers through the curtain of hair at the metal. “Not aluminum.” He pronounces it like “lumininum.” Even corrects him gently.

“No. It’s… it was an alloy,” Dilan says.

He shakes his head. “Needs to be something flexible.”

They are all silent for several moments; Ienzo cocks his head slightly.

Dilan scoffs a little to himself. “The boy’s right. Good on you, Ienzo.”

Ienzo beams at the praise, revealing his missing front teeth--the milk teeth fell out some two weeks prior.

Dilan drums his fingers on the table. “But if not metal, then what?”

Ienzo shrugs. “Master says gummy.”

Even raises an eyebrow. “What, rubber?”

“Gummy,” he repeats, slowly, as if that makes it any clearer.

“Ienzo, we’ve no idea what you’re talking abou--”

He turns red. “That’s what his friend says!” He’s almost yelling. Ienzo’s temper is a new development.

Aeleus rubs his shoulders gently. “Calm down and think about what you need to say,” he suggests.

He’s tearing up, sniffling in frustration. It’s clear Ienzo occasionally has difficulty stringing together his thoughts, especially as he becomes more verbal. “His friend, his friend speaked about it--”

“Spoke,” Dilan corrects.

Aeleus tucks a strand of gray hair behind the boy’s ear. “What about this friend?”

Even’s almost sure the conversation’s meaningless until Ienzo says, “His friend has a star. He’s little, not like me. And he has a…” He shapes something with his hands, something long and thin.

Aeleus offers him a pencil and some graphing paper. “Why don’t you try drawing it?”

The boy begins sketching dutifully, the lines messy. It looks almost like a sword, or a bat, but he adds something to the tip of it, something like--

Even’s heart all but stops, and from the looks on Aeleus’s and Dilan’s faces, theirs do too. “Are you… quite sure of what you saw?” Even asks gently. Ienzo is not a particularly imaginative child, but this seems more plausible than the truth on the paper in front of them.

He nods. “I see… I saw it.”

There, in the horrible fluorescent lighting, is a drawing of a Keyblade.

---

There are so many thoughts going through Even’s mind, he doesn’t know how to keep track of them. He honestly isn’t sure if he feels sick or exhilarated.

They always thought that Keyblades were legend. But considering Ansem’s fascination with other worlds… Has he, privately, tried to contact them?

Is Ienzo merely lying?

The boy is not a liar, but it makes so much more sense if Even believes he is. Well, there’s one simple solution to all this. He may make a fool of himself, but he has to pursue this feeling.

During a break in Ansem’s schedule, he goes to see him. He considers bringing Ienzo too, as a sort of collateral, but Aeleus is in the middle of a biology quiz, and Even knows how busy Ansem gets.

He feels breathless, and sweaty. “I must have a word.”

Ansem’s head snaps up. “My friend! Are you alright? Please, sit.”

He does, sinking first down onto a pile of files before he remembers to remove them. Ansem pours some water from a decanter and hands it to him. Even watches the light refract off of the crystal glass, trying to gather his nerve. “You had Ienzo in on a meeting,” Even says.

Ansem looks more confused than anything. “I never involve him in city work.”

“A visitor, then? Some friend of yours?” He sounds a bit wheezy. “The boy is either… telling tales, or you’ve been up to something.”

Ansem hesitates, and this hesitation tells Even everything he needs to know. “I did not intend for Ienzo to be there, but he just so happened to arrive when--”

“Who?”

Ansem sighs heavily. It’s a sound of getting caught.

---

Forty-five minutes later, Even has a splitting headache. He may, he reckons, be going completely insane.

Apparently out of the blue one day a mouse king arrived from another world, teleported willy-nilly via something he called a “star shard.” Even does not know how to begin unpacking this. Mouse? Child-sized, sentient, speaking their language? And of course Ansem immediately started asking him about this--the two spent some hours talking about their worlds, the commonalities, the differences. Which of course Ansem kept to himself. Only then the mouse (mouse!) king returned, during one of Ansem’s tutoring sessions with Ienzo. This time he brought books, books from this other world, and some aqueous cubes of material he calls “gummi blocks.” And he was very pleased to tell Ansem he’d become a Keyblade master.

What in the world is going on? Nobody has ever believed Keyblades were real , and here the proof is in the pudding, so to speak. It’s all true, which makes Even feel even more mad; it seems like everything he’s learned is a lie.

In it all, a glint of hope.

Ansem lends him the books. Here there’s more information about light and darkness--well-reasoned studies proving, more than anything, that it’s a whole lot more literal than any of them have ever thought, and provides them with building blocks on how to seek it out in the environment.

The gummi material is exactly as alien as Even thought; immensely mutable, easily replicable. He spends hours subjecting the stuff to tests--extreme heat, liquid nitrogen, stress, impact, gravity. It can hold shape with ease, hardening to become like glass, its texture scrambling to become whatever they urge it to conform to. And it seems to be extremely durable.

“Something flexible,” Dilan says with awe. “This must be what Ienzo meant.”

It seems to be exactly what they need to move forward with their research. Now that he knows he’s not suffering a mental breakdown, the possibilities excite Even, actually make it difficult to sleep at night.

They create something like a pod, with the hope of being able to isolate the light from the darkness. They need something living, to study; they examine mice, reptiles, insects. While these things do seem to carry light and darkness in their own way, they also lack hearts--the real, intangible, metaphysical hearts. The proper thing to do would be to study people. The machine seems to do no harm to the lesser animals, but the moment humanity comes into it, it gets intensely more complicated.

“It will take… quite some doing,” Ansem admits. “You have to create a risk impact statement, and that statement has to pass the board of ethics. And I need it to. I will not have anyone getting hurt. We know so little about these forces.”

“Of course we will obtain informed consent,” Even says. “We merely wish to examine them, and to ask them questions about the more… mythical things. Like bonds, or memories. How do we measure these things? We can only figure it out by gathering data.”

“I warn you, this may take some time,” Ansem says. He crosses his legs, looking towards the machines--Dilan has made two more. “The typical amount of time it takes things to pass the board is six months--something like this? Perhaps longer.”

Even curses his own lack of foresight. He should have drafted something earlier, before they got swept in this nonsense, to avoid these roadblocks. But who, says a small voice inside of him, would really stop them? Who would inspect them? After all, this would all be so harmless. “...Of course.”

“I will try my best to force it past them--but they must carry out their own studies, and observations. The people have a right to know what happens at this castle. Especially if it may-- however nebulously--impact them.” He closes his eyes for a moment. “I’m sure you have other things to pursue in the meantime.”

“I suppose I could… spend some more time on Ienzo’s education. I fear in all this excitement it’s been rather neglected.”

He smiles, but it’s tired. “I’m sure the boy learns much more than you think merely being around you.”

“It was his idea to use the gummi blocks,” Even admits. “I think he intuited their use before we even experimented on them.”

Ansem stares at him. “Is that true?”

“Children often have fresh, blunt perspectives,” he says. He goes to adjust the band in his hair, but again, the elastic breaks against his fingers. “...Blast.”

Ansem chuckles. “If it bothers you so much, cut it.”

“It is rapidly getting to that point.” He takes the band and tries to tie it around the mass. It holds, barely. “As I was saying. Ienzo’s intellect here pairs well with that freshness. He can see things we’re too stubborn to see, in a way far less complex.”

Ansem twirls a pen. “Would it do him good to continue to observe your work? Does he enjoy it?”

Even thinks. “I believe so. It started this way out of necessity--if he’s not with you, he’s with one of us, and this is where we’ve all been.”

“If it’s as harmless as you say… I see no reason why it shouldn’t continue. So long as he still gets sunlight, and the like.”

---

For a while they all slip into a sort of lull. Even takes Ienzo to town with him, hoping to enroll him into some sort of activity that would encourage him to make friends; but the stimuli of the city actually reduces Ienzo to tears, and Even ends up carrying the boy home. It’s strange; Ienzo’s always been able to make it to the library, but the library isn’t in the dead center of town. He puts him to bed, lays a cool cloth over his eyes. “We can try again when you’re ready,” he says softly.

Soon, though, Ienzo disappears again, for more than his usual trip to the town library. Even tries to be more rational about it this time--the boy probably lost track of the hours--and he finds he doesn’t have to go very far. He’s merely in the square, near a blonde teenage boy wearing odd clothing (the fashions these days). He must’ve been bringing Ienzo home. “Ah, there you are. Didn’t I warn you not to wander off, child?” Ienzo gives a small shrug. He turns to the blond boy. “I see we owe you our thanks. We have done our best to raise the boy, since his poor parents are not here to do it.”

The teenager stares down at Ienzo. “Oh, you’re on your own, huh?” Then, to Even--”Sir, I’m looking for a friend of mine. He’s a tall guy dressed kinda like me. Have you seen him?”

Even would not have expected such politeness from someone dressed so. But he knows a gaggle of teenagers gathers on the outskirts of town. “Perhaps I did see him in the outer gardens. Just follow this road.”

“Thank you.” Something about this boy’s face is familiar. Who knows--such kindness and eagerness to protect might make a good guard out of him.

Even smiles a little. “No, thank you, for keeping Ienzo out of harm’s way.” He pauses. “And… well, let’s just say I have a feeling we are destined to cross paths again.”

The boy seems unsure of how to respond. They part on that note. Even notices a sudden vacantness in Ienzo’s eyes.

“How kind of that young man to bring you home,” he says. “Then again, I suppose everyone knows who you are.”

“No,” Ienzo says.

“No, what?”

He looks up. He squeezes his shoulder once. “Nothing. It was by chance. Do you think you’ll meet him again?”

He blinks. “I think anything’s possible. Don’t you?”

---

He’s finally fallen deeply, blessedly asleep one night several weeks later when he’s being woken. Aeleus, urgent and flushed. “We need you,” he says.

“What? This late? Why?”

“It’s Ienzo.”

He doesn’t bother putting on his formal clothes and follows Aeleus in his dressing gown. The air’s cool, dry; it smells like ozone. Even notes that outside it’s storming. They go down to the new lab. Even can taste his heartbeat, knowing all too well that nothing good has happened here. Braig, of all people, is cradling the boy; he’s in an odd state of quasi-consciousness. Even notices for the first time that the man’s wearing an eye patch, one he most certainly did not have several weeks ago. What did that miscreant do? Well, it’s not important now.

“I was doing my rounds down here when I saw him,” Braig begins. “I asked the kid what he was doing but he just stared at me. He was standing over there--” Braig points to one of the machines. Aeleus darts over to investigate. “I dunno. He started breathing all funny and then dropped like a sack of potatoes.” He lays Ienzo down so Even can examine him. His pulse is elevated, and he’s nearly hyperventilating. A finger of panic threatens to overtake Even, but he swallows it down.

“What is it, Aeleus?” Even hedges.

“Come here,” Aeleus says in an odd voice.

“I’m tending to Ienzo, Aeleus, he needs--”

“You really have to see this.”

Braig shakes his head. “I’ll keep an eye on the kid,” he says.

Shakily, Even joins Aeleus. Instantly he can tell what overtook Ienzo; the strong scent of chlorine gas makes his eyes water before he can turn away. The ventilation is good enough that it shouldn’t affect the rest of them now; but for a small child, one good lungful is enough. A hole has been burned clean through the ersatz gummi glass; something’s a molten lump inside, pinkish and still smoldering. More alarming than this, though, are the thin purplish tendrils rising from it.

“Chemical smoke?” Aeleus asks.

Even knows this is not the case. He isn’t sure how he knows--it’s just a certainty deep inside.

The gummi block drips darkness.

---

He tells Aeleus to put on protective gear and seal the block somewhere safe so they can observe it. Meanwhile, he has more important things to deal with. He brings Ienzo to the med bay, decontaminates him in case the chlorine got on any other parts of his body, and starts him on oxygen. He does not need to be intubated, thank the stars, but it takes much too long for his breathing to sound less labored. In all this, the poor boy falls asleep.

He sees Ansem’s face peeking in through the glass panel on the door, but he doesn’t dare intrude until Even gives his approval. He rushes over to Ienzo, pulls him close; Even’s shocked to see a tear run down his face. Once he seems to assure himself the boy’s stable, he turns to Even, danger in his rust-colored eyes.

“A word,” is all he says. A command, not a question.

Even stands and glances over towards the bed.

“Aeleus will keep an eye on him. Come.”

Even follows several paces behind, his heart pounding dread. Once they’re well out of earshot, in the breezeway, Ansem speaks, his back turned to Even, his hands held behind. None of the affable friendliness of their normal interactions--no longer just Ansem, but Ansem the Wise, King of Radiant Garden.

Very well.

“This must not continue,” Ansem says. His voice is soft, and low, barely audible above the rain pattering loudly on the crystal ceiling.

“Do not blame this on me. The boy went down there on his own.”

“Of course he did! He’s a child, a curious one. We’ve done nothing but enable him, and now we’ve put him in danger.” Ansem looks over his shoulder. “I forbid him from observing this research any longer, at least until he’s old enough to understand consequence. I figured that you of all people would know better.”

It feels like a barb, rendering Even’s retort useless. He doesn’t catch his breath for a full moment. His heart is full of ice. “What are we to do, then? Have him under lock and key? Am I to keep twenty-four hour surveillance on him?”

“I mean you need to be careful.”

“I am nothing but careful.” He should feel enraged, but all he feels is a strange, cool distance. “We are all careful with him. Moreover…” A breath. “He’s your son. We did not collectively agree to raise him. If you’re so concerned about his wellbeing, perhaps you should have a more active role in his life. I can’t do everything, Ansem.”

He turns. Even holds firm.

“You prattle on about my recovery, and yet, you’ve no idea of the weight of the responsibility you’ve placed on me.”

“You think I do not know responsibility? ” There’s a sharpness to his tone Even’s never heard before.

“Abstractly, yes, of course. But when faced with it in the flesh, you--”

There’s a splitting crack outside, a crack of thunder; a shockwave cracks the crystal window closest to Ansem, and they both jump. “What on earth?” Ansem spits. “Even--dear god, look out the window.”

The sky is swarming with darkness--luminous pink and violet and black tendrils. “We must get inside.”

“Get Ienzo. Go somewhere safe, all of you. Go. ”

“Don’t tell me you’re going to go out in this?”

“Even, I must see what’s to be done. The people may be in danger.”

He takes a breath. Be careful, he nearly says. “...Alright.”

Ienzo’s conscious when he gets back to the room.

“What’s happening?” Aeleus asks.

“I’ve no idea. The three of us are going down to my lab. There’s--” He feels Ienzo’s eyes on him. “Something’s going on outside. A bad storm. Best keep away from windows. No need to worry.”

Aeleus knows he’s lying for Ienzo’s benefit. “Can you walk?” he asks the boy. “You know what? Here.” He hefts him into his arms. “You’ll soon be too old to be carried around, yes? Might as well enjoy this small luxury.”

They go together, Even carrying the oxygen tank. Ienzo still seems limp, tired, though his eyes betray something else happened down there. What on earth had the boy done? Melted down a gummi block? But how? Nothing Even did to them had that reaction. Something that resulted in a production of chlorine… unless the gas the melting block emitted simply seemed like chlorine? They do not truly know what the blocks are made of, just that they can make themselves into any substance.

And how did it produce darkness in its rawest form?

Ienzo’s staring at him, so he tries to smile. “You, little one, are in a lot of trouble,” he says jovially. “What were you doing in the lab on your own? You know it’s not safe! It’s a good thing Braig found you. You could’ve gotten sick.”

Ienzo says nothing. Again, he’s limp against Aeleus, but his breathing’s not audible and his pulse feels more or less normal, all things considering.

“We will talk about this,” Even says to him sternly. “Once you’ve rested.”

In the lab, they rest the boy on Even’s cot, the one he uses when he’s simply too exhausted to walk all the way back. He tucks the blanket around the boy’s shoulders. “Try to get some sleep.” He sits with Ienzo until the boy’s drifted off. The thunder’s much quieter here, but still, to the listening ear, audible--even through all the stone.

Aeleus wordlessly hands him a cup of coffee and nods his head towards the supply pantry. Even follows him inside and shuts the door most of the way. "Have you any idea what this is?" Aeleus whispers.

"I… almost feel as if I imagined it," Even says in an equally soft voice. "The sky was full of color--of darkness. But I don't know--where would it have come from? We've no idea what so much of it can do--the myths all point to destruction. I was told to come here with you and protect the boy." He feels his lips curl into a sneer. "And of course I must follow orders."

Aeleus sighs. "He blames you?"

"Of course he does. I'm afraid I lost my temper."

"I'd be surprised if you didn't."

"We have to figure out whatever Ienzo was doing," Even says. He fusses with the dry ends of his hair. "Not just for his safety… for our research. And why he decided to do this on his own."

"He likes independence," Aeleus says simply.

"Well. There's plenty of time for him to be independent when he's older--"

"Even?" They hear him call from the other room.

He crosses over to Ienzo; he's fiddling with the oxygen mask, unable to get it off of his face.

"Little one, you should leave that on. You breathed in some nasty business."

He blushes, then admits, embarrassed, "I need the washroom."

"Oh--of course." Even takes it off, points to the door where it could be found. "But it goes on the moment you're through."

They wait for him. Aeleus pulls a puzzle charm out of his pocket and begins working on it. "Can't solve this one. I've been on it for weeks."

"You and your games."

"It keeps the mind limber. You should keep neuroplasticity in mind. We're at the age where we begin to lose such things."

Even looks into his half-drained coffee cup. "I'll ignore what you're implying," he says.

Aeleus chuckles.

It seems like Ienzo's been gone a long time; is his stomach upset? Even debates for a moment or so on checking in. Or--more insidiously--was he overtaken again by faintness? He can't help himself; he knocks on the closed door. "Ienzo? Are you alright?" He hears what sounds like muffled breaths. "You sound like you can't breathe, child." It's the silence that worries him. "I'm sorry, I'm coming in."

He finds Ienzo curled opposite the toilet, rocking a little. If Even hasn't seen this before, he'd figure it does have to do with his breathing. He kneels down next to him. "That was scary, yes?" He says gently. "You're safe now." He flinches away from Even's touch for the first time in a long while. "Ienzo?"

He's sobbing a little, a sound that hurts to hear.

"It's safe here," he reasserts, only to immediately be contradicted by the loudest peal of thunder yet; they both jump, and Ienzo continues to shudder. "It's merely a storm."

It takes a long time for the boy to calm. He's shivering; Even drapes his robe over him, but it doesn't seem to do much good. He wants to go get a blanket, or better, get the boy back to the cot, but he's also unsure of leaving him alone. He's on the verge of asking for Aeleus to get it for him when he hears a small "I'm sorry."

"Oh, child, it's alright."

He shakes his head. He uncurls a little, revealing that he's wet himself.

"No matter. Happens to the best of us. I'll get something clean for you to change into, yes?" Privately, he's concerned; how deeply shaken was Ienzo, in order for this to happen? He goes to prop himself up, only to feel a small hand grab at his. "I promise I'll be right back. Aeleus is nearby. You're safe."

Aeleus does give him an odd look; all Even does is shake his head and press a finger to his lips to tell him not to speak of it.

“I need to go get a few things,” he says instead. “Wouldn’t hurt to check on the situation, either. Perhaps we can go back upstairs, to bed. I’m exhausted. I’m sure you are too.”

Aeleus shrugs. “We’ll be here.”

It seems like a very long walk back upstairs to their residences, but it isn’t. Even’s endlessly troubled; first and foremost to what is obviously a trauma response in the boy, and also to the unearthly cataclysm going on outside. Never, as long as he’s been alive, can he recall ever experiencing something like this. Radiant Garden is prone to violent outbreaks of wind, but only in the winter. Climate change is the only thing he can think of, but they moved away from harsh fuels long ago--before he was even born. And truly carbon dioxide cannot cause this.

And why is this happening only after they’ve had contact with an outside world?

Even gathers some dry pajamas and a blanket from Ienzo’s bedroom, and one for himself and Aeleus while he’s at it. He hopes that, wherever Dilan is, he’s safe. Dilan may be occasionally foolhardy, but at least he’s practical. He chances a glance out the windows in his quarters. To his immense relief, the sky is no longer dark in that abnormal way--the rain now seems normal. But is it only temporary?

Where is Ansem in all this?

He returns back to the others. “Things seemed to have calmed,” he says to Aeleus. Ienzo still appears to be hiding in the bathroom, door cracked slightly. “I’m sure you’d rather be in your own bed,” he adds, for Ienzo. He hands him the dry clothes through the crack and gives him privacy. Aeleus bobs his head towards this, and Even just shakes his head. After a moment Ienzo emerges, his face flushed with embarrassment. “Shall we go?” he asks the child. He nods.

Even is finally able to put the child to bed, and insists he wears the oxygen, at least until morning.

“I know it’s not very comfortable, but humor me,” he says. “You’ll feel better for it.”

Ienzo clings tightly to his small stuffed cat, a relic from his parents’ home. “It hurts,” he says, his voice muffled through the mask.

“What does?”

“The… the noise,” he says. “I can--” He glances towards the window.

“The thunder?” It becomes a little clearer; he’s sensitive enough as it is, all of the noise must have been internalized as pain. “It’s rain now, little one. Hear how it’s letting up?”

“I… I heard …”

“What did you hear?”

“Someone was angry. Screaming.”

“In the lab?”

He shakes his head. “In the sky?”

The darkness? Has the boy sensed it? Is it possible? More likely, this is part of that same trauma.“Is it still happening?” Even asks.

“No,” the boy admits.

“Perhaps you had a nightmare. You know how those bleed into reality sometimes.”

“It wasn’t ,” he insists, with more anger. Then, “Darkness.”

Even exhales. “Let me look into this for you. It’s possible you’re sensitive to it. In the meantime, you have to rest. Things will be clearer in the morning.”

“Believe me?” Ienzo asks.

“Of course I do, little one.” He squeezes his hand. “And should you need to get out of bed, you can take the mask off by pulling this tab.” He stands.

“Can you leave the lamp on?” he asks.

He tries to smile. “...Certainly.”

He knows he needs to sleep as well. It’s getting light out at this point, and the covers of his bed feel heavy, nearly alien. Even drifts for a while, fighting the worry that’s swelling in his chest, only to be fully roused by the soft creak of the door opening. He huffs. “Can’t a man have an hour’s worth of peace?” he asks.

Ansem is standing there, soaked to the skin, his red stole hanging limply against his jacket. “I apologize,” he says. “I wouldn’t ask for your assistance if it weren’t warranted.”

Even could do without his tone. “What is it now?”

“Dilan and Braig found a boy--a young man--in the square. Seems to be injured and reeling.”

“And? Can’t he go to the hospital like everyone else?”

Ansem frowns. “We believe he arrived with the storm.”

Despite himself, it all makes sense--he read however nebulous about darkness’s ability to transmute, to transport. “I will dress and be there shortly.”

The young man’s about eighteen, and unconscious. They found him facedown in a pool of rainwater in the square. One of them has changed him into dry clothing. Braig and Dilan hover nearby; Dilan exhausted, Braig vaguely pained. Even examines him and notes that aside from some a few nasty scratches that require stitches, he seems to be alright. His hair isn’t gray like Ienzo’s, but a much more violent shade of silver; his eyes, when Even opens them, are a glistening gold. But the young man won’t wake. “Well he has no brain injury,” Even says. “No fever. I’m not sure why he won’t rouse. Was he conscious at all?”

Ansem sighs. “But for a moment.”

“Did he say anything? Did he give a name?”

He looks towards the young man. “Xehanort.”

#beyond this existence: atonement #even (kingdom hearts)#ienzo #ansem the wise #aeleus #dilan #beyond this existence

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galaxy-whiskers · 4 years

Text

I was tagged by @bailandonorris, thanks!

1. what is the colour of your hair brush?

I have a silver paddle brush which I don’t use very often, a transparent and purple swirly coloured (honestly don’t know how else to describe) afro comb, and a regular black comb.

2. name of a food you never eat?

Tuna, can’t stand it. To be honest, I eat most things if they’re warm, but VERY fussy when it comes to cold food

3. are you typically too warm or too cold?

Definitely too hot! I still have a fan on in the winter at night time

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Playing Animal Crossing, tried to catch some tarantulas because Flick is on my island but the dodos don’t seem to want to send me to any decent islands so my mission was unsuccessful

5. what’s your favourite candy bar?

That’s a hard one... probably either Cadbury’s marvelous creations with the jelly beans and popping candy, darkmilk, or the one with oreos. Snickers are pretty great too, also Kinder Bueno and just Kinder chocolate in general. Basically, what I’m saying is I love chocolate

6. have you ever been to a professional sports event?

Yes, I went to the London 2012 Olympics to watch show jumping, football and basketball! Have probably been to others? Really want to go to Wimbledon at some point but not sure when I’ll be able to do that. Does dog agility count as sport? Seen it at Crufts multiple times

7. what is the last thing you said out loud?

‘Night night curly shoes’ - a goodnight wish for my sweet doggo Ivy

8. what is your favourite ice cream?

I’m a fan of coconut ice cream it has to be said, also honeycomb, and your standard Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough is high up there. Really specifically, the vanilla ice cream from the waffle shop in Cirencester. To be honest, don’t eat much ice cream, not my go-to food choice because I’m lactose intolerant and a lot of it makes me feel sick just thinking about it. Has to be good!

9. what is the last thing you had to drink?

Some water, absolute health right here (she says drinking her first glass of water all day after about 4 cans of Pepsi Max whoops)

10. do you like your wallet?

I guess so, yes. Could probably do with a slightly more efficient one but it’s decent

11. what was the last thing you ate?

A jazz apple from the fridge. We have no pink ladies which are the favourites but jazz are pretty tasty too

12. did you buy any new clothes last week?

No, only virtual ones in Animal Crossing. I haven’t been clothes shopping in so long and doesn’t look like that will change anytime soon

13. last sporting event you watched?

Honestly no idea, since all the sport has been cancelled for a while I can’t think what the last thing would have been. Probably Cheltenham races on the telly back in February or March or whenever it was?

14. what’s your favourite flavour of popcorn?

The classic, salty cinema popcorn. Honestly the best

15. who was the last person you sent a message to?

Strangely, someone from my secondary school who I haven’t ever spoken to over message before. She posted our leavers video on her Instagram and thought I’d message since I’d been looking for that video for y e a r s and sparked a conversation! She never liked me much back in school I don’t think, she was popular and I really wasn’t so I never properly spoke to her. One of my friends had a bit of drama with her, absolutely hated her, but they eventually became best pals. Also her best pal during most of school really didn’t like me for some reason... anyway, had a nice chat, strange how friendly she seems these days

16. ever go camping?

Uhh well... I’ve been 4 times, 2 of which were for D of E and I can safely say I’ve never had a good experience. First time, the people in the tent next to us got arrested at 3AM for drugs or something, second time was my dad’s 40th birthday and my brother didn’t know he was allergic to nuts so eating a cake with mixed nuts on the top didn’t go down well for him... also went to a restaurant on the way there with my granny and got a caterpillar in my salad. Third and fourth times, let’s just say D of E was one of the worst experiences of my life, I’ll leave it at that... would really like to go camping again though to have a good experience, maybe change my mind on it? I don’t know, willing to give it a try

17. do you take vitamins?

I go through phases, sometimes I take them every day, other times I don’t take them for like 3 months

18. do you go to church every sunday?

I used to, but as I got older I slowly went less and less until I didn’t go at all. I lost faith I guess? Kind of didn’t feel I belonged there or believed anymore. I loved singing the hymns and our vicar was an absolute lad, we also got biscuits at the end of each service, but over time I decided it wasn’t right for me to keep going. Pretty much all the people that go to ours are your typical white, posh, probably homophobic and hate children type so that put me off. Also after everything that’s happened in mine and other’s lives, I slowly lost the belief in God. If all of it was true, why would these things happen? I guess also my scientific mind was constantly telling me there’s no proof. I think the only reason I went to begin with was because it was a family thing and as a child I believed pretty much everything that was said

19. do you have a tan?

No, certainly not... used to when I lived in the Caribbean but now I’m pretty much white as a sheet

20. do you prefer chinese food or pizza?

A very difficult one... probably chinese? As much as I love pizza, it’s the same issue as the ice cream

21. do you drink soda with a straw?

Nah not a fan of straws, they taste weird

22. what colour socks do you wear?

ALL THE COLOURS! I own a pair of socks for every outfit to colour co-ordinate, my sock draw is overflowing

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit?

Strangely, I drive under by quite a bit when no one else is around. It’s the other cars that stress me out and make me go too fast. Also I have a black box so not allowed

24. what terrifies you?

Good question, lots of things... the sea, pools, tbh water in general, heights, rejection, the current impending doom, large open spaces with no walls I can be against, losing everyone I love, the fact that anyone might be secretly talking about me behind my back because they actually hate me, the list goes on but I won’t continue it

25. look to your left what do you see?

An empty Pepsi Max can, a glass of water, some crocodile scissors, my Switch, a cranberry scented candle, and some tiny balls of wool

26. what chore do you hate?

Got to be changing my bed, or washing up when the things have got cold food left on them

27. what do you think of when you hear an australian accent?

A throwback to year 8

28. what’s your favourite soda?

Pepsi Max

29. do you go into fast food places or drive thru?

It depends who I’m with

30. who was the last person you talked to?

My mum about a meteor shower and satellites

31. favourite cut of beef?

A random question... I do like a good rump steak

32. last song you listened to?

You Make My Dreams by Hall and Oates because I’m using it in my animation project

33. last book you read?

I’m like part way through Good Omens and have been for quite some time... I have learning difficulties and find reading a lot of effort so don’t read very often

34. can you say the alphabet backwards?

No, it’s the kind of thing I’d have expected myself to learn at some point but never did

35. how do you like your coffee?

I don’t like coffee so in the bin

36. favourite pair of shoes?

My multicoloured Vans, got them in the second week of uni and I’ve loved them ever since

37. the time you normally go to bed?

Well, currently it’s around 1AM to go to bed, 3AM to sleep. Used to be around 12/1AM sleep but the lockdown has ruined that

38. the time you normally wake up?

Again, currently it’s around 11:30AM to wake up then 12PM to do things but used to be around 9:30/10AM. To be honest I still sometimes wake up then but I go back to sleep again because I have no reason to exist more than I need

39. what do you prefer sunrise or sunsets?

Sunrise is always nice to watch, but I don’t like getting up early so definitely sunset, especially when you’re at a restaurant or sitting outside somewhere in the countryside

40. how many blankets are on your bed?

Just the one duvet, but I have a soft fish patterned blanket for when I want something to cuddle with

41. describe your kitchen plates?

We have some plain white ones and some that are white with leaves around the edges. The edges have a ridged pattern and the rims are gold

42. do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage?

I don’t drink so no

43. do you play cards?

Yes, love a good card game!

44. what colour is your car?

It’s very nice Caribbean sea blue. Used to be my mum’s car, it’s her favourite colour

45. can you change a tire?

I probably could if I had to but can’t say I’ve done it before

46. your favourite province?

I guess that’s counties? Hometown of Gloucestershire is up there, also a fan of Devon. My favourites may have to be Caenarfonshire and Anglesey though after the road trip last year

47. favourite job you’ve had?

Not sure really, I guess it would have to be doing my art commissions

48. how did you get your biggest scar?

The biggest scar I have these days is on my right knuckle between my index and middle finger, it’s very small. I got it from when I was holding a horse still before untacking and he decided that hay was more exciting, caught my hand on a splintered wooden fence and that was that

49. what did you do today that made someone happy?

Nothing, I’ve only seen my family and even then it was for a short time. Don’t think I make anyone happy these days ahah

It’s now 3:22AM, that took longer than I expected. ‘I’ll go to sleep early today’ I said but I say that every day. Don’t know why I keep lying to myself.

Anyway, I guess I have to tag someone now, so I tag @duckingpunches !

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fanficparker · 5 years

Text

Next Door | H.O.

Pairing: Neighbour!Harrison Osterfield x Reader

Word count: 1.6k words

Requested: By anonymous - How about a request where Y/n's birthday was a few days ago and Haz didn't know it until Y/n's mom calls him because Y/n didn't answer her texts. And then he realizes she hates her birthday because in the last few years none of her friends attended her party. (I don't know its kinda weird but my birthday is in a few weeks and I feel the same)

Warnings: Swearing, Just a fluff piece :)

Summary: You have stopped making friends, but can your neighbour change your mind?

[ MASTERLIST ]

Harrison was taking a small nap on the free weekend afternoon when he was woken up to his phone ringing. He groaned covering his ears with a pillow. He shuffled his arm on the side table trying to find his phone without opening his eyes or removing the pillow, still succeeding.

"Hello," He lightly groaned in the phone, removing the pillow.

"Hello. Are you Mr. Osterfield from flat 202?" A middle-aged woman spoke up.

"Yeah," He sleepily responded.

"Sorry to disturb you I just wanted to ask for your neighbour from next door. 203, Y/n Y/ln. I'm her mom."

He rubbed opened his eyes sitting on his bed. "Yeah what about her?"

"Have you seen her recently? Is she alright?" The woman asked.

"I actually don't know her very well, but I did see her taking groceries this morning. She seemed pretty alright to me." He replied to which the woman sighed.

"Thank god. I was so much worried. She wasn't answering any of the texts or calls this month. I was so freaked out that I had to contact the apartment owner asking for the neighbour's contact. I actually can now guess why she did that. Thanks by the way and sorry to disturb you." The lady was about to hang up when Harrison interrupted.

"Ah, wait. I meant how can you guess when she didn't answer?"

"Oh that. It was her birthday last week and she kinda hates that day and doesn't like me talking about it, so that's the only reason I could think of her, ignoring me."

"Why? Ah--- Sorry for being nosy---"

"I don't mind. But to be honest she never talks about it so I too... Am unaware."

"Oh. Okay. Got it."

"Thanks." And she hung up.

Harrison kept his phone down and got up deciding to take a warm shower. After showering and scrolling his phone he noticed the call from earlier in his call logs.

How can someone hate their birthday? He asked himself. For Harrison birthdays were one of his best days in the whole year. A day when people didn't bother him for the mistakes he made or the unmade bed or his un-organized flat or messed up kitchen. A day when his friends and family spent quality time with him, even when it meant messing up with their own schedule. All this made him feel special! A little bit extra attention doesn't hurt, right? Damn, doesn't she like feeling special?

Maybe I could visit her. Yeah, I should. I have been living here with her next to me at least for 2 years. I should try to be more social outside my limited friend circle and family. Yeah, I should definitely visit her. Maybe we become good friends. Maybe she turns out to be an interesting person.... who doesn't like her birthday.

First meet then judge! He reminded himself, throwing a pair of blue jeans and a white t-shirt locking his flat.

••• He knocked at your door, waiting for a response. It isn't like you haven't ever met. You have and even talked but only for some important things, like the lift not working, not for 'just knowing each other' purpose.

"Hi!" You said opening the door.

"Hi!" He returned the gesture.

You waited for him to tell what he wanted, but he just smiled.

"Ah, is there anything I could do for you?" You finally asked.

No. I just thought of getting to know you.

"You-your mom called me." He said, unable to think of any right way to start a conversation and he thought he was an expert?!

"She why? Does she even know you?" You asked confused.

"Can I come in?" He asked producing a tight-lipped smile.

"Yeah sorry, I should have called you in." You gave him space to get in a little embarrassed of your ignorance.

"No mention." He said as you gave him a seat on the sofa. His eyes travelled to take a look at the whole flat seeing tons of make-up products organized on shelves and tables.

"Don't freak out, I actually own a beauty salon." You said following his gaze.

"That's great!"

"Why did my mom called you?" You enquired again.

"She was worried of you not answering her texts and calls so she searched for your neighbour's number. Who was me." He answers.

"Oh."

"But why didn't you answer?" He asked.

"I ah... Maybe... I don't remember." You fidgeted with your hands looking down.

"She said something about you hating your birthday to be the potential reason?! Is it true?" He raised his brows at you.

You raised your head to face him standing just near the sofa.

"I don't wanna sound harsh or rude, but I believe it's my life and hence it's none of your business?!" Your voice was calm, but it did sound a bit harsh. Telling people to 'mind their own business' always sounds rude, no matter whatever era we are living in. And he did seem offended or maybe hurt.

"Umm... Sorry." He stood up from the sofa. He was offended for sure. He ignored you and walked towards the door mumbling, "I just wanted to be friends!" And luckily you heard it.

"Friends?" You chuckled, more like produced a frustrated chuckle. He stopped and turned to look at you.

You continued, "I'm sorry for being rude. I shouldn't have said that."

"Why did you laugh at the mention of 'friends'?" He squinted his eyes a bit.

You took a breathe, "It is that friends are the real reason why I hate my birthday."

He didn't ask 'why' this time, remembering the minding business phrase. But his expressions were of curiosity and you could tell.

"You can sit. I'm sorry." You again apologized, but he didn't react.

"Pleeaasseee!" You pleaded and he shook his head at your ministration taking his previous seat and this time you joined him.

"I actually don't 'hate' hate my birthday. It's just I'm jealous of other's who have reason to love this day." You said making him more confused, but he let you finish without interrupting."When I was younger I loved the day too. So many friends, so much fun. But as time passed they left me. As I passed high school, my school friends vanished. When I passed university, my college friends vanished. Then I realized they were my friends just because they had me to do their work. When they no more needed me I was discarded like rubbish. I stopped making friends all together. It isn't very pleasant to remind yourself of those fake pleasant memories. So I try to ignore this day and mom actually bugs me asking about how am I going to celebrate lab-lab-lab year birthday with my 'friends' who don't actually exist!" You finished giving an embarrassed smile.

"Sorry. I didn't know." He sympathized.

"Because we never actually talked earlier. But hey, do you want tea or coffee? I even have cookies and---"

"I have some work, gotta go!" He said getting up and left.

God, you must have hurt him. "For once someone genuinely wanted to be friends and I not only slipped the opportunity but also offended them!" You cursed yourself and plopped down on the couch rethinking your words, regretting them repeatedly.

••• You noticed the time. It had already been 2 hours Harrison had gone and you were lost in your thoughts. You decided to cook some dinner when you heard your doorbell. You opened the door to face the same gorgeous blue eyes again, hitting you again with a wave of repentance.

"I am really really so---"

"Keep the worries aside. Look here!" He pointed at his hands by shifting his gaze down.

He was holding a plate with a small sponge cake on top of it tucked with some candles. How ignorant of you to not notice it earlier. He fake coughed, shifting your attention from the cake towards him.

"Can I come in?" He asked the same question as earlier, again embarrassing warmth travelled to your cheeks as you welcomed him inside.

He set the cake on the table.

"So I guess you can bring in the cookies or any snacks you were talking about earlier. We can have a small party!"

"Wait. Party? For what?" You furrowed your eyebrows.

"Oh yeah. Happy Belated Birthday!" He cheered.

"I-- umm... said I don't like my birthday?!" You widened your eyes.

"But now you have a friend, sooo?" He raised a single eyebrow with a slight smirk.

"I-I this--you?" You couldn't make complete sentences, you had no idea how to reply.

"Oh wait I haven't introduced myself properly. I am Harrison Osterfield. Actor, adventurer, a really nice guy and the guy next door. Can we be friends?" He stretched his arm in your direction with a beautiful full mouth smile.

You glanced at his hand then at his face and then back to his hand. Warmth rushed to your heart which had the same effect as sunshine on a dark winter day. You accepted the gesture shaking his hand.

"Y/n Y/ln, Beautician and the girl next door. Friends!" You smiled.

And damn if he wasn't so nice and...

* * *

Taglist…

PERMANENT Taglist //

@i-love-superhero // @caswinchester2000 // @vintagexquill // @babebenhardy// @acceptance07 //

Mutuals: @bringmethehorizonandpizza @calum-hoodwinked-me @acceptance07 @probably-writing-x @hollandsosterfield @summernykole @faefictions @osterfieldholland01 @hazhasmycoffeex3 @hazthotsterfield @hazsterfield @empressdreams @harryshollands @hexingholland @fictionalbadass

Saw a post saying you guys wanted to get tagged in Haz stuff: @mendes-holland @jordiee95 @marlenenewton14 @loversnothaters @iboopedyournose @clean-and-claire @hollandishh @spooder-boi @thisisthetragicstoryofme @missweasley899 @screamholland @starboyholland

Just tell me if you don’t wanna be tagged!!

#harrison osterfield #harrison osterfield imagine #harrison osterfield x reader #harrison osterfield fanfic #harrison osterfield fic #Harrison Osterfield fluff #harrison osterfield fanfiction #haz osterfield #haz osterfield fanfic #haz osterfield imagine #haz osterfield x reader #haz oneshot #harrison osterfield oneshot #haz osterfield fanfiction

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fulcrumahsokaamidala · 5 years

Text

Saturday Spectacular #12

Happy Saturday!!! So this is me thanking awesome fanfic writers for their amazing work and all the time they put into their fics. ♥️ I want to recommend spectacular fanfic stories I read this week! ♥️ They are posted in the order I read them. All posts will be tagged #saturday spectacular fic rec

When Did It All Go Wrong by @wrldtravler | Arrow | WIP

Summary: After a mission with A.R.G.U.S. goes south, agent Oliver Queen learns something he shouldn’t about Director Amanda Waller. Sent on the run when A.R.G.U.S. turns against him, he’s forced to seek out the one person that never wanted to see him again but whom he trusts with his life: his ex, Felicity Smoak. Putting their past behind them, the estranged pair come together along with John Diggle and Lyla Michaels to stop the looming threat. However, the past never stays buried for long. With their renewed connection comes great strength. But where there is strength, there is also great weakness – one that may cost them everything they worked to prevent.

“Time for a story” Drabble Series by @smkkbert | Arrow | WIP

Summary: This fic shows Olicity and their life as a (married) couple with family. Although Olicity (and their kids) are the protagonists, other characters of Arrow and Flash make appearances. It started as a drabble series, but developed more and more into a full domestic AU.

Providence by @so-caffeinated | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Will Queen has struggled in silence in the year since he was shot. But when a shadowy crime lord known as Domino targets the only woman Will’s ever truly loved, fate forces him to confront his demons in ways he never could have imagined… Whether he wants to or not. Amelia Prescott has fought to take control of her life since learning two years ago that her personal and professional worlds were manipulated by others. But nothing can prepare her for just how hard she’ll have to fight to set her own course, especially when her heart belongs to a damaged man and a crime lord threatens her every professional move… And her life. Destiny brings them together, but as chaos reigns and personal demons haunt Will and Amelia both, it may also threaten to tear them apart.

(i want to) save that light by @callistawolf | Arrow | WIP

Summary: What if one little thing changed in the history of Arrow? What if, instead of going to Laurel’s apartment after discovering the extent of Merlyn’s plans for the Glades, Oliver stayed at the foundry and talked to Felicity instead? This series of short vignettes explores some of the ripple-effect changes that could take place throughout the next season as a result of this one, fortuitous change.

Semper Fidelis by @oliversmuse | Arrow | Completed

Summary: Oliver Queen is a member of the Bravo Squad, a team that specializes in search and rescue, covert infantry and translating foreign documents. He is known as one of the best and even though he is one of the youngest recruits he advances quickly. While serving he meets Lance Corporal Felicity Smoak, a young woman with skills in hand to hand combat. Despite the fact they butt heads they fall in love and soon start to talk about a future together. However, when her plane disappears on a mission in China and she is presumed dead, Bravo Squad searches frantically for her, only to find her plane and her bloody dog tags. Five years later Oliver runs into “Megan” at a coffee shop near that gym he has been running with his friends. She has lost her memory from the plane accident but has had dreams of Oliver and the Bravo Squad. With the help of his friends and team mates, can he help her reclaim her past and fall for him once again?

grade 2 right shoulder subscapularis strain by @alexiablackbriar13 | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Oliver Queen is an Olympic archer with a shoulder injury who hates sports therapy with a passion. Dr Felicity Smoak is his new physiotherapist. Sparks fly. Perhaps Felicity can change Oliver's mind.

Aftermath by @realityisoverrated-fic | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Malcolm Merlyn has laid waste to the Glades. Laurel Lance is dead. Moira Queen is in jail. Thea is hiding away in her brother's nightclub. Oliver is licking his wounds, who knows where. Tommy would like nothing more than leave town and never look back, but someone needs to stick around and be accountable for his father's murderous undertaking.

Mothers know best by @smkkbert | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Since they have been kids, they have been best friends. Since they have been friends, their mothers wanted them to be together. After coming back from the east coast, Felicity takes over a position at Queen Consolidated, the company her best friend will soon take over from his father. Their mothers still push for them to be together, and they seem closer to that goal than ever because wedding bells are ringing. The only problem is that they both plan to get married to someone else.

Alpha by @oliversmuse | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Oliver Queen was a powerful vampire that was captured by a group experimenting on hybrids. Turned into a hybrid that is half vampire and half wolf he is strong, fast and deadly. While in captivity he meets Dr. Felicity Smoak a hermatologist who is called in to monitor his feedings. All Oliver wants is to be free, away from the experiments and being in a cage, and strangely he feels he can trust Dr. Smoak. There is also an unspoken attraction between them that is forbidden. Can he convince her to set him free or will her attraction to him tempt her to keep him close?

Artemis by @laxit21 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: When the Queen’s Gambit sank, two people were stranded on Lian Yu. Five years later, four came back.

Daughter of the Demon by @laxit21 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: What if in 1988 while traveling through Las Vegas Ra’s al Ghul bumps into a nice waitress named Donna Smoak and they have one-night stand together? A little bundle of joy named Felicity Smoak is the result. In 2014, the Demon Head becomes aware of his youngest daughter’s existence.

The Ravager by @laxit21 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Slade Wilson’s plan for revenge against Oliver took time, money and no shortage of lives to pull together. His plan didn’t anticipate Felicity Smoak. How will his plan change now that his lost-lost daughter is working with the very man he’s trying to destroy?

Felicity of Themiscyra by @laxit21 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Years ago, Donna Smoak left the island of Themiscyra and her sister Queen Hippolyta behind to live in man’s world. She never told Felicity the truth about where she came from. As a result of the Undertaking, Felicity discovers some of her Amazonian abilities and makes an interesting new friend: Diana Prince.

The Daughter That Was Left by @laxit21 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Before the Gambit, Oliver Queen met QC intern Felicity Smoak. When he boarded the Gambit, he left something behind. Now, five long years later someone is waiting for him.

I Scream But No Sound Comes out by @laxit21 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: When Oliver returns from Lian Yu after five years, he comes back different. What happened there damaged more than just his body. How will his friends and family deal with this new Oliver?

| ONE | (Oliver The Footballer) by @someonesaidcake | Arrow | Completed

Summary: Felicity Smoak had a plan; to save enough money to kick her monotonous job and start up the company of her dreams. She made good plans, solid plans, attainable plans. He was never part of her plan. His name was Oliver Queen, the reclusive Brazilian football star with a broken smile and a story to tell He’d never planned on her either.

Did I Forget to Mention That My Dad is a Supervillain? by @laxit21 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: When Felicity told Oliver about her father, she wasn’t lying per se. She wasn’t completely honest either. It’s just that ‘my dad left us’ sounded better than the truth.

Or: A Series of one shots in which Felicity’s dad is a supervillain and we see how Oliver and the team finds out.

little wonders (twists and turns of fate) by @alexiablackbriar13 | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Oliver and Felicity's drunken mistake of a hook-up in the bunker comes with unexpected consequences in the form of a... souvenir. Deciding to remain romantically uninvolved, the two of them will have to battle all the trials and tribulations of maintaining a platonic relationship while Felicity is pregnant and the two of them are living together, coping with all the emotional baggage that they both bring to the table - and dealing with the fact that they are still very much in love with each other, but scarred by the events that broke them apart in the first place.

Winds of Change by Nerdofmanytalents | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Tommy finds an unexpected visitor hiding under the bar. [This segment takes place before the events of "Whats the Matter, Baby."]

The Road Not Taken by @oneofthosecrazygirls-fics | Arrow | WIP

Summary: Canon divergence/fix-it AU. Everything that happened in the series up through 4x11 happens as it did in the show and this fic diverges from there.Direct sequel to “Swear This One You’ll Save” and “Have Your Cake (And Eat It Too)” so make sure you read those first before reading this one.This fic is part of the What Should’ve Been ‘verse.

A Hidden Life by @realityisoverrated-fic | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: It's Oliver, Felicity, and Tommy's first Thanksgiving together. Their plans for a shared meal are upended by the unexpected arrival of Donna Smoak.

The Cat, the Canary, and the Dinosaur by stick2theplan | Arrow | Completed

Summary: Nyssa and Sara are visiting Oliver and co for the week. Of course, this means they'll at least have to endure a semi-awkward pseudo-family brunch. Fighting bad guys is easy compared to answering awkward questions from Oliver's too-perceptive son.

ink stains and dumbbells by inlovewithimpossibility | Arrow | WIP

Summary: "Hey Dynasties, Oliver here coming at you with another video!"

"Hi guys, welcome back to Ghost Fox Goddess, I am Felicity Smoak."

When one half of YouTube duo, Queen-Merlyn Dynasty, lands himself in hot water with Principal Wilson due to failing grades, Oliver knows that he needs to step up his game. The principal recommends a tutor but little does Oliver know that she's also a successful YouTuber. The two of them set out on filming a collab but neither anticipates how popular their videos will be or the insane reaction the sight of the two of them on screen together will gain from the fans.

#saturday spectacular fic rec #weekly fic recs

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paperback-writers-blog1 · 5 years

Text

Valentines Day

By: Mod McCartney

Rating: NC-17

Paring: John/Paul

Summery: One year ago John made the biggest mistake of his life. With Valentines Day approaching can he finally make it right?

Warning: Adult themes

John had always known he was a stupid man. He seemed to specialise in fucking himself over at every opportunity. Most of his successes were due to someone elses input. Usually he didn’t care. ‘Fuck it’ he’d say to himself and move on. However there was one mistake he could never move on from, no matter how hard he tried. It still haunted him a year later, the way he had lost Paul.

Really, getting Paul was not difficult. At least, it wasn’t as difficult as John imagined. He always saw Paul as this unobtainable, higher being. As much as John had pined for him, he would tell himself Paul would end up with someone as gorgeous and flawless as himself and they would be a sickeningly perfect couple in a perfect house with the perfect jobs. Ugh. Of course, Paul did have flaws. And he didn’t want the life John had imagined for him, basically dating a clone of himself. While John had been obsessing over this imaginary life for his crush while putting himself down, Paul had been noticing more and more similarities between them. At first they had seemed like total opposites but as they got to know each other more, Paul noticed a more… two sides of the same coin dynamic. They had very similar dreams and motivations, however would handle them in wildly opposing ways. But their extremes complimented each other. Paul, the sweet charmer could very easily smooth any damage or upset John caused. John, the wild spontaneous adventurer would encourage Paul out of his shell more, helped him be that little more daring and less under his father’s thumb. It was therefore much easier than he had imagined for him to get Paul. Paul was already smitten with John, cool, older and rebellious. One night of heavy drinking, John had simply turned up at Pauls home. Words failed him, but the booze made him bolder and he simply kissed the younger man. The next day he had woken up with Paul snuggled against his chest. After coffee and an explanation from Paul, they were boyfriends. Although nothing was officially said, it was more than obvious. They did everything together, went everywhere together and when they were apart were constantly talking or thinking about the other. When they finally found each other again their embraces and kisses were like they had been apart for years. Of course a candle burning that brightly wears out very quickly. John always cursed himself thinking about that night. What was worse, it was Valentines. John had planned a romantic surprise for Paul. With Mimi away for the week, he had planned a dinner and a little pamper session for Paul. He was excited but a little nervous. What if Paul didn’t like it? What if it was too much? So he did what he always did when he panicked. Drank. Just a beer for courage. That didn’t work as he hoped so maybe another. When the beers weren’t working, he dipped into whiskey. By the time Paul arrived (exactly on time as usual) John was roaring drunk. Paul wasn’t that bothered. He had seen it all. However because of his insecurities John was feeling particularly nasty. And with no one else to tease and snipe at, Paul was the only victim of his poisonous tongue. At first he had tried to ignore it, brush it off as John being drunk and stressed from the planning. But as the night wore on, with wine and Paul not reacting like John wanted, he got more vicious. Paul asked him to stop, why was he being like this? The tears in his doe eyes gave John that sick satisfaction that he was getting to his victim. John didn’t stop. He pushed and pushed until Paul just couldn’t take it. And as easily as the relationship had started, they had ended. John had woken up the next day on the couch. The only evidence of dinner was the neatly stacked dishes on the draining board, no doubt courtesy of Paul. Upstairs Johns room was untouched. The slightly cheesy romantic setting he had worked hard on was still there. Confused he had tried calling Paul and had been told in no uncertain terms by Mike to not call again. That only caused more confusion and John had to go to George for answers. George was Pauls best friend. John had no doubt he would tell him everything. It took a good few days but finally he got his answers. He immediately regretted it. He never meant to hurt Paul! He tried all sorts to get Paul back but to no avail. The damage had been done and was far too fresh. The problem was, George was dating John’s best friend. It made for some uncomfortable situations, mainly birthday celebrations.

Now a year later, and 2 days before Valentine’s Day, John was lying in his bed plagued by thoughts of Paul. He didn’t want to move on. He didn’t want to date others. He wanted Paul. He wanted to smother him in affection and hear that cute giggle, see those big eyes filled with adoration for him, kiss those soft lips again. Part of him thought Paul probably had someone new. He was too damn attractive and sweet to stay single for long. Still, John would curse himself forever if he didn’t at least try. He needed to know for certain he had completely ruined any chance. Tomorrow was the 13th and the day John would start this little plan. And despite the nerves creeping in, he wouldn’t touch a drop. He’d do this properly. After a little planning and preparation, John fell into an uneasy sleep.

********************************

Paul woke up bright and early as usual. At first, it was just an ordinary day. He wandered downstairs for some breakfast, thinking he might call around Georges later, see if he was up to anything. His thoughts were interrupted when he cast a glance over his dads’ paper. Feb 13th. Paul felt sick. Was it already nearly Valentine’s day? Fuck. He had had offers, of course he had. Including a very sweet one from George to hang out and have a ‘friends date’. He said Richie didn��t mind celebrating on a different day. But Paul declined them all. Because it shouldn’t be like this! He should be celebrating properly with John! Even after all this time he couldn’t believe the things John had said to him that night. But the conviction he said them… and the way he seemed to enjoy Pauls hurt. Paul sighed and made himself some tea. He found he couldn’t face the world today. Give it a few days and all the shops would be focused on Easter. Valentine’s Day would be a long forgotten memory until next year. When he had finished his drink he intended to hide away in his bedroom for as long as possible. He had no doubt George would be around to check on him. Paul spent the morning making his room into a little blanket fort, stocked it with snacks and drinks and plenty of entertainment. It had worked very well. He felt better in his little world where this damn holiday didn’t exist. It must have been two or three in the afternoon when Paul heard the knock at the door. He paused confused. He had been expecting George, but he wouldn’t knock. He figured maybe his dad or Mike had ordered something, and forced himself downstairs to answer the door. When he opened the door he was greeted with a woman in a uniform holding a rather large and pretty bouquet. Paul accepted the delivery, taking the card that went with it and thanking the lady. He thought nothing of it, assuming it was for Mike. He had stuff like this all the time. He played the field quite a bit and seemed to be perpetually stuck in the honeymoon period of relationships. He should’ve guessed there would be gifts for him today and probably tomorrow too. Paul took them to the sink to let them sit in water until Mike got home. He felt a little pang of sadness looking at them. Among the romantic red and pink roses were some of Pauls favourite flowers, simple daisies and lilies. He sighed, a little part of him wishing he had someone to send him something so sweet and romantic. He couldn’t help it. Paul was the romantic sort, totally putty for the very cute and often a little cheesy romantic surprises that came around this time of year. He had, in a wild moment, thought of sending something to John. But he wasn’t as taken by the romance as Paul and would probably think it was dumb or too slushy for him. With a little wistful sigh Paul went to put the card on the kitchen table so Mike would find it when he got in. He went to leave then did a double take. That couldn’t be right…. Could it? He carefully picked up the envelope again and re read it over and over as if his wishful thinking was making him see things. He traced his fingers over the print, maybe he could wipe away the delusion and would see Mikes name underneath. But no matter what he did, it still said in plain black print, Mr J. P. McCartney. Only a few people used or even knew his first name was James. Maybe it was George and Richie trying to help him feel better. Cautiously he opened it. The card slipped out into Pauls hand. He expected some cutesy cartoon or a for a special friend on the front. That was something George would do. But there wasn’t. It was… confusing yet slightly familiar. There was no words on the front, just pictures. Black and white photo fragments of places and events that called to Paul. He recognised the birthday cake in one photo, but the head had been cut off the person standing over it, no doubt blowing the candles. There were shots clearly taken around Liverpool, some of his favourite places to go around the Docks and parks. Occasionally there was an arm or foot of someone just peeking into shot. But they were horribly blurred, like it had been zoomed into. He carefully opened it, not sure if he should be scared by this or not. Inside there wasn’t many clues either. And it still had an ominous feeling about it. “I need answers. I know you do too.” Under that was an address, time and date. Paul recognised the place. It was a little restaurant he had been to a few times with… no. It couldn’t be… could it? John? That brought both pain and excitement. He never thought John meant those things he had said! He thought John would come to his senses and come round to explain but he never did. Paul knew nothing about the phone calls. He assumed John had meant to break up with him, but he never understood why. So yes. He did need answers. But what answers would John need? Looking back at the front of the card, it started making sense. The snapshots could very easily be from his time with John. And the flowers containing his favourites…. Paul quickly got a vase and sorted the flowers before taking it all up to his room. He set the vase and card on his desk and sat staring at them. Maybe it was just a way to get Pauls attention, it didn’t mean it was a date. It probably wasn’t. Then again… to get dinner out on the 14th reservations must have been made. It would be a little more expensive than a regular night. And why a restaurant where they had had a few of their dates if it was just to talk? In fact their first official date was there. Paul groaned. This was too confusing. Still… his curiosity was piqued. And if John wanted to explain what happened Paul would let him. He might even put in a little effort in his appearance. He had to calm down and not get carried away. This did not mean they would be getting back together. This did not mean they were going on a date. It could all be a twisted mind game, John was good at those. Still there was a tiny, hopeful part of Paul that he just couldn’t calm down. He needed it to be tomorrow already. When he noticed the date this morning he never expected to be excited for the next day.

*****************************************

That was phrase one complete. John checked his watch. Paul must have received the flowers by now. He was a little shocked he remembered Pauls favourites, he usually forgot stuff like that. John dropped as many hints that it was him without explicitly saying so. Using his full initials, his favourite flowers, booking the place of their first date, the snapshots of him and Paul. Paul was smart, he would probably figure it out easily. John hated the waiting that happened now. He paced and went for a wander around the streets. He tried to draw or play his guitar but nothing kept his attention for more than half an hour. The day stretched on for a ridiculous amount of time. He felt like the universe was adding hours just to annoy him and keep him from seeing his Paulie again. Finally a chance to end this year long torment. When it was an acceptable time to go to bed he rushed to his room. The sooner he fell asleep the sooner it would be tomorrow. He would spend the day making himself look as good as possible. It was hard but eventually he managed to fall asleep.

******************************************

Paul had had an awful nights sleep. His mind had been racing with all kinds of possibilities. He had weird dreams that kept waking him up. So he rose a little later in the morning. When he opened his eyes the first thing he saw were the flowers. Fuck! He looked at his clock. Alright there were still 8 hours to get ready. Paul got up and started looking through his clothes, searching for the best outfit. He felt giddy like a girl who had been asked on her very first date. He had to look his absolute best for two reasons. If there was a chance for him and John to get back together, he needed to be absolutely irresistible, so John would have no doubts. However, if Johns plan was to humiliate him publicly, if he looked his best he’d show John exactly what he was missing. It took him the entire morning to come up with the right shirt and trousers combo. With that settled he had to shower. It’d take most of the day for his hair to dry. He used a body wash he saved for special occasions. Once showered, he then went about making sure every part of him looked good. He used a facemask to give himself that fresh glow, he made sure his fingernails were clean and neat, he kept making sure his hair was drying straight and neat, He used lotion to make his skin soft,. From top to bottom there wasn’t an inch of Paul he didn’t pamper, clean and neaten. He had never looked so good. He even shaved back some of the hair that had grown over his hands and gave his eyebrows a little going over with the tweezers. No he wasn’t one for plucking his eyebrows, they naturally grew like they did but today was special. He checked the clock. 2 hours to go. Good. That gave him plenty of time to get into town. He didn’t want to rush and mess himself up again. He needed to take his time not only to preserve all the work he had done, but to keep himself calm. His heart was beating almost too fast as he left to catch the bus into the centre of Liverpool. Today was not the day to be walking. Of course this meant he would be in town an hour and a half early, but there was plenty to occupy his time. He strolled around the docks, had a coffee and did a little window shopping to kill time. Finally he realised he had 10 minutes to get to the restaurant. Ignoring his heart and shaking, Paul quickly checked his appearance in a nearby public bathroom then went to stand outside the meeting place.

**************************************

Fuck fuck FUCK! Of course he was late! John was never any good at keeping time however part of it was not his fault, but two old women in the flower shop who would not stop talking while John waited to make his purchase. Of all times he had to be late… John sighed as he finally got off the bus. He checked his watch. Okay, only a five minutes late. Fashionably late. But he knew Paul was punctual and had no doubt he would already be there. He couldn’t leave him waiting. He smoothed down the smart shirt he had put on and did a speed walk to the place. As predicted, John saw Paul standing there. He had to stop as he was completely taken aback. It had been a while since John had really taken in Pauls appearance. But he had quite clearly grown a little more. He was taller than John remembered, his jaw was more defined but he still had those adorably chubby cheeks. The slight podge Paul used to complain about had pretty much gone. He was no longer that awkward teen but becoming an extremely attractive young man. Johns eyes unashamedly raked Paul while he could, while Paul was clueless that he was. His eyes finally tore from that gorgeous face down. Paul had curves. On some men it would look ridiculous but Paul carried it off flawlessly. His arse was perfectly round, hugged nicely by his choice of trousers, his thighs… John had to stop before he started drooling. Besides he noticed Paul looking around and getting more nervous. He knew if he didn’t go to him soon, Paul would think John had messed with him and he’d have blown his chance. John gave himself a little shake and took a deep breath. Mustering all the confidence he could he approached Paul. “Hey.” He said softly. Pauls head turned to look over and he seemed to freeze. In his head Paul was going to turn and say hey back. But something caught in his throat. He wasn’t used to seeing John so groomed. He looked so good. Was that effort? Had John put in effort for Paul? He tried to not get too excited by what that meant. Paul swallowed. “H… Hey.” He smiled. John melted hearing that voice and seeing that smile again. He then remembered what he was holding in his hand. “Oh fuck…I mean… damn… I mean I got ya these!” John got flustered and held out the rose and small box of chocolates for Paul. Paul couldn’t help the little giggle. John looked far too adorable that flustered. Johns cheeks were getting pinker. God he felt dumb. Paul took the gifts. “Thank you. They’re lovely.” His face fell a bit. “Sorry I… I didn’t get you anything.” John didn’t like how upset Paul looked at that. “No no no it’s okay ya didn’t have to. No ya shouldn’t have! I invited you! And… I have a lot of apologising to do.” John looked down ashamed. Paul bit his lip then in a daring move, reached forward with his free hand and held Johns. Johns head shot up. Encouraged, he smiled and gave Pauls hand a little squeeze. Paul looked even happier at that. “Right… well now. I believe I promised you dinner.” John announced, getting that bit of confidence back. As John acted more like himself, Paul relaxed with him. “Lead on.” Paul stood next to him, but didn’t let go of Johns hand. John grinned and took Paul inside. Of course it had been a late reservation so they didn’t exactly get the best table. But they got in and that was all that mattered. When they were sat, John ordered wine much to Pauls surprise. There was a bit of silence as they scoured the menus, the only bits of conversation being talking about what they may order. Once the food had been ordered and the wine poured, John took a moment to just take in what was happening. He was sat at dinner with Paul, something he thought would never happen again. Hell, he wouldn’t have given anyone a second chance if he had been treated like Paul had. That was what made Paul so amazing, so much better to John. And in the dim candle light he looked more beautiful than ever. However as John stared Paul got a little self-conscious. “Wh…What?” “Huh? Oh… nothin… s’just… I don’t think ya ever been more gorgeous...” Paul blushed heavily at that and busied himself with taking a drink. John thought he looked too adorable. He loved making Paul blush with compliments. “So… flirting are we Lennon?” Paul teased. Johns smile widened. “Of course. Who wouldn’t?” John felt another flutter as he made Paul blush again. Talking to him was just so easy. He found he didn’t want to talk about anything heavy just yet. No, this dinner was to make up for last years failure and to give him the chance to treat Paul like a princess. It went so smoothly, better than John could have imagined. Paul was receptive, laughing at Johns silly jokes, blushing when he was complimented and accepting John feeding him a bit of his food to try. He even fed John a bit. By the time it was finished, John was on cloud 9 and Paul was almost certain this was a dream now. John paid the bill and got up and held Pauls coat out for him, being the perfect gentleman. With linked arms they headed out into the night. “Now… it’s up to you… I don’t wanna pressure you but… Would ya like to come back to mine?” John asked nervously. Paul seemed to think about it. Memories of last year resurfaced making him falter a bit. However tonight had been perfect. John was clearly not drunk and besides, he knew they had a lot to talk about. Slowly Paul nodded. “Yeah…. Yeah I’d like that.” John felt a bubble of excitement rise in his chest. He had this chance to get Paul back! Instead of taking Paul to get a bus, he paid for a taxi. During the ride, Paul even put his head on Johns shoulder. Johns eyes widened and he shakily put an arm around Pauls waist. Fuck that felt good… it felt right, holding Paul against him in that protective way. Once inside Johns house, John carried on being the perfect gentleman, taking Pauls coat to hang up for him and making him a drink. He put on some music and sat with Paul. They had a little light chat to relax the atmosphere. Eventually, John couldn’t hold back anymore. “Look… Paul… I owe you the biggest apology. I was a fuckin idiot. I didn’t mean any of what I said. It were my own insecurities comin out… nothing to do with you. Ya… Ya fuckin perfect Paul. Too perfect for someone like me. I understand if ya just wanna take this night as an apology an we never see each other again. But… If ya would wanna… Would ya give me a chance ta treat ya like ya should have been all that time?” John just went ahead and blurted it all out before he lost his nerve. Paul listened carefully. He knew John could get nasty when he was drunk and if something was upsetting him or making him uncomfortable in any way he would lash out like he did. “It hurt I ain’t gonna deny that John. I ain’t ever been hurt like that before.” Paul started, making it clear to John this wouldn’t be a ‘forgive and forget’ thing. When John looked at Paul sadly, Paul took his hand. “However… Ya seem genuine. I believe ya know ya were an idiot. Ya learned from it. An… I would like ta give ya a second chance.” John looked at Paul with wide eyes. He was certain Paul was going to reject him! Without thinking, John pulled Paul close. “I’ve been dyin to do this all fuckin night.” With that he crushed his lips against Pauls, wrapping his arms around him. He felt another jolt when he felt Paul hold onto him tightly, grasping fistfuls of his shirt. John didn’t want to break the kiss. When they needed to breathe, John moved to kiss Pauls jaw and neck. He felt a shudder as he heard Pauls soft gasps and moans. He remembered Paul lost in throes of passion and to John there was never a more beautiful sight. No, he had to do this right. Although he could feel himself getting aroused by Paul, he pulled back. “I… I’m so grateful… ya fuckin amazin y’know that?” Paul blushed again. Before he could say anything, John stood up. “An someone as amazin as you deserves ta be spoilt.” He held out his hand. Paul looked at John confused but took his hand. John was going to give Paul that pamper session even if it was a year late. John took Paul up to his bedroom, where he had covered it in rose petals and little LED candles. On the bed was a towel and fluffy pillows. On the bedside table, a selection of scented oils. “I understand if it’s a little much… but I’d really like ta show ya what I wanted to give ya last year.” Paul looked at John with wide eyes. He had gone to all this effort! With a little smile, Paul nodded. “I’d like that.” He needed to know John hadn’t meant to be cruel, that his intentions had been sweet and romantic. John looked so happy at that. “If you don’t mind then… I would need you to remove that lovely shirt.” Paul was a little uncertain however he had to trust John. He reached down to unbutton the shirt. John frowned. No, Paul shouldn’t have to do anything. “Here, allow me.” He carefully reached down and started unbuttoning Pauls shirt, exposing his soft, milky skin. His hands were shaking and his breath coming in gasps as he got to see Pauls body again. He couldn’t resist appreciating it a bit. He bit his lip, noticing Paul had a little trail of black hair going down towards his pants. John couldn’t resist brushing it with his fingertips. Paul always loved hair being brushed and played with. Paul gasped a bit and his eyes fluttered. John swallowed, no he had to carry on. He couldn’t get swept up in his overwhelming urge to rip Pauls clothes off and have him right up against the wall. He had to pamper Paul. He carefully finished unbuttoning the shirt. Paul had definitely grown into his body more. His muscles were more defined. Despite having that feminine charm, Paul had an equally intoxicating manliness and John was completely taken. He carefully slipped Pauls shirt off him. “Alright darlin… On the bed… lie on ya stomach.” Paul looked confused but did so. John sat next to him. There was a pause before Paul felt something cold on his back. He hissed but before he could say anything he felt Johns hands instantly get to work, massaging him. Fuck he had no idea John was so good at it. Paul was quickly relaxed, resting his head on his arm, his eyes half closed. John smiled seeing Pauls reaction. He made sure Paul was relaxed all over. When he was done with Pauls back he bit his lip. “Hey… Paulie… Can I do ya front?” Paul looked up then carefully rolled so he was on his back. John felt a flutter seeing Paul lying on his bed like that. Swallowing again he resumed his massage, shaking a bit as his hands glided over Pauls stomach and chest. Paul suddenly gasped as one of Johns hands ran over a nipple. Paul looked up at John with unsure eyes. Of course he felt that heat pooling in his lower stomach as John ran his hands all over him. John recognised that look. It was almost identical to the one Paul had given just before they had sex for the first time. John knew then this was affecting Paul as much as it was him. “Shhh Macca…” John cooed, to keep him calm. “It’ll be alright… I won’t push… but I just wanna make ya feel good…If I go too far…. Just say… I’ll stop okay?” He understood that Paul might need easing back into it. Paul gave a little nod. John thought his heart was going to explode as he carefully undid Pauls trousers. “I’m just gonna give ya legs a little massage, okay?” He reassured Paul. Paul helped get his trousers off. John could see the stirrings of an erection in Pauls boxers. He had to ignore it and the urges he had to go directly there. Instead he carefully massaged Pauls thighs. As Paul relaxed, John got a little braver and moved to Pauls inner thigh. Pauls breath hitched and he opened his legs a little more. Encouraged, John slowly worked up them, alternating between legs. He could see Paul was now fully erect. Paul had propped himself up on his elbows to watch John. His eyes kept fluttering shut, his lips parted as he gasped. When John got near his cock, Paul let out a tiny moan. Johns eyes flicked up and he drank in the sight of Paul like this. He loved seeing Paul needy. “Is this alright Macca? Is this what ya want?” He asked. Paul nodded without hesitation. “P…Please… fuck…. John…” He gasped, his voice heavier with need. At that, John wasted no time. He reached up and gently stroked Paul through his boxers. Paul cried out, a mix of pleasure and relief at finally being touched. John went as slowly as he could, despite feeling like he was going to break the zip on his trousers soon. He spent some time just palming Paul through the material. Eventually he could hear a few little pleas in Pauls moaning. He needed more. And who was John to refuse? John slowly ran a hand down that trail of hair to Pauls boxers. Carefully, he pulled the waistband down, pulling the last piece of clothing from Paul. John couldn’t help the little moan as he exposed Paul completely. It felt like a lifetime since he had seen Paul naked and erect. He threw down Pauls boxers and took some time to just take it in. Paul moaned impatiently beneath him. John snapped back to reality. “Paul I… Fuck it!” John suddenly stood up and grabbed Pauls wrist. Paul was shocked and a little more turned on at Johns roughness and he yanked Paul up and pushed him against the wall. “I gotta have you Paul. An I can’t be sweet an slow. I gotta fuck ya till ya can’t see straight!” John held Pauls wrists against the wall as he kissed him roughly. Paul could do nothing but kiss back and moan. He had always loved it when John got like this. John paused briefly to feverishly yank off his own clothes. Paul bit his lip and watched as John got himself just as naked. Fuck he looked so good to Paul. Pauls eyes were drawn to Johns own erection and he felt a shiver of excitement. “John…. John please…” He moaned. John grinned hearing that. He’d never tire of it. “Alright love calm down. We gotta do this properly though.” John reached down and finally wrapped his hand around Pauls cock, stroking it roughly. “Ya not used ta bein fucked anymore are ya? I gotta make sure I don’t hurt ya… gotta make sure ya up ta goin all night.” Paul looked at John with wide eyes. All night? Though he had a feeling John would stop if he really asked him. Paul just let himself get lost in the feeling, moaning and gasping at what John was doing to him. John suddenly stopped. He went to a draw and got out a bottle of lube then knelt in front of Paul. “Alright ya needy boy… I got ya.” He grinned. While he was talking, John slicked up his fingers and reached up to tease Pauls hole. He groaned remembering the feelings of taking Paul. His desk still had scratches in it where he had fucked Paul mercilessly against it. Paul seemed to be having similar memories as he felt John tease. After a little teasing, John slowly pushed a finger in. Paul hissed and squirmed. John licked up Pauls cock, trying to distract him. It worked, as Paul was distracted long enough for John to slip in two fingers and properly prepare him. He suddenly stood up, lubing himself. “Alright Paul, I think ya ready.” John grabbed Pauls leg and lifted it to give himself an easier entrance. Paul was shaking with excitement as he felt John pressing his tip against his hole. Carefully he slipped into Paul. Both of the boys cried out in pleasure. Paul missed feeling so full and John missed feeling Paul around him. Paul wrapped his arms around John as he pushed all the way in. He ignored the tears welling up and helped John as he slowly moved inside him. “Fuck fuck fuck John…s…s’so good…yes!” Paul moaned right down Johns ear. John held Paul in place as he sped up. Unfortunately the position, while it helped push John into Paul deeper was tiring on both of them. When it got too much, John pulled out and spun Paul around, pushing him face first into the wall. He carefully lined himself up again then grabbed Pauls hips and slammed into him. Paul screamed out his pleasure, pushing back against John as he fucked him roughly. Sweat and tears poured yet they had no intention of slowing down. “Sh… Shit John…m…M’gonna cum! Gonna cum!” Paul cried as John slammed into him, hitting that oh so sweet spot inside him. At that John pulled out. Paul whined at the loss of feeling, the welling orgasm dying inside him. John turned Paul around again. “You’re not cumming just yet love.” Before Paul could answer John had gone to his desk. He swiped everything off then shoved Paul against it. Paul remembered the last time they had done this, how good it felt, how John could perfectly hit that sweet spot inside him. With Paul bent over his desk, John knelt down and licked up Pauls thigh. Paul gasped not expecting that. He moaned in frustration needing to feel John inside him again. He had been so close! John licked all the way up until he was at Pauls hole. It felt so exciting tasting himself there as he pushed his tongue inside Paul. Paul had never felt anything like it. His head was blank as John licked him and stroked his cock. John was a master at edging Paul. He knew how much to give and when to take it away. When Paul couldn’t take anymore teasing, John stood up and pushed into him again. “Yes! Yes John fuck yes yes yes!” Paul cried as John began fucking him mercilessly into the desk, scraping it along the floor a bit. Paul was sure he’d have a bruise on his stomach from this. He didn’t care. It wasn’t long before Paul was screaming that he wanted to cum. John listened and pulled away just at the last minute. “FUCK!” Paul screamed in frustration. “John please! Please let me cum! Need ta cum!” John pulled Paul up and kissed him. “I gotta watch ya cum though.” John explained before pushing Paul onto the bed. He’d let Paul cum now he would be able to see his face. He wrapped Pauls legs around his waist and pushed him again. This time no edging, no teasing. He wanted to see Paul lost in passion. Besides he couldn’t keep this up much longer himself. Paul threw his head back and cried loudly as John fucked him. He was a mess, his face red and tear streaked, sweat making his hair messy and John loved every damn second. He could feel Paul getting close again. “A… Alright Paulie…. Gonna… Gonna make ya cum…a…all over yaself…. Messy boy…” John groaned, reaching down to stroke Paul as he assaulted his sweet spot. “Yes! Yes John please please gonna cum gonna… gonna-” Paul came very suddenly. Loud and violently after all the teasing. John dragged out the orgasm as long as he could. The problem was seeing that, hearing that and feeling Paul around him he couldn’t hold back any longer. John came, filling Paul up. He collapsed on top of Paul. They took a moment, catching their breath and to come down. “Wow…” Paul gasped softly. John smiled at Paul and kissed him sweetly. He carefully pulled out of Paul. “C’mon lets get ya cleaned up.” John muttered. He pulled Paul to the bathroom where they had a quick shower. Paul just wanted to snuggle with John after that so was rushing a bit. Finally, John took him back to his bedroom where he threw the towel onto the floor to deal with in the morning. He wrapped Paul up in his arms and the covers. Neither cared about the mess around them of clothes and candles. All they cared about was each other. Paul buried his face in the crook of Johns neck. “I love you.” He muttered making Johns heart soar. “I love you too, so much Macca.” He replied kissing Pauls head. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

#McLennon #mclennon fic #paul mccartney #John Lennon #valentines #valentines day #ModMcCartney

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