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#i had plans for today but honestly i just dont want to exist
aurora1040 · 2 years
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Normally I am very positive about being disabled. Im always looking at the positive while acknowledging the struggles. I reblog jokes and memes to make light of my life while spreading awareness to my followers.
....but not today.
Today is a bad day for me. Today I hate how disabled I am. Today I hate how broken and dysfunctional I am. Today I found out thay I cant even PRETEND to have anything at all together with my parents who live an entire state away. Im so broken that I cant even FAKE it. And today, its hitting me really, really hard.
Ive been crying for almost a half hour straight. Today, life SUCKS and I feel AWFUL and BROKEN and like a complete FAILURE. I lost at the game of life. The friend who came to unlock my door yesterday while I was face down got some of our friends to come clean my apartment while I was gone and dont get me wrong, I am incrediblu greatful and indebted to them for their act of kindness. I didnt like that they saw my apartment in such a terrible state, but I could handle that. One of them called to let my mom know how bad it was and honestly, while Mom was the last person on earth I wanted to know, I could handle that, too.
No, what got me was after i got back home from the hospital, mom sent me a text that she and dad *already had plans to come around the end of september because they already knew how badly i was struggling.* Thats a whole 8 hour drive.
That. Is what got me in tears. That. is why today is awful. Why today i hate being disabled. I hate having exective dysfunction and adhd. I hate having unexplained fatigue. I hate that there appears to be absolutely no evidence whatsoever in my blood work or heart monitor at the hospital to explain why me going off of salt made my legs give out from underneath me. I hate that i dont know how to properly advocate for myself. I hate it i hate it HATE IT
For the first time in a long time, i habe actually, consciously feel and think that I am a failure. DONT COME AT ME SAYING IM NOT. I am ALLOWED to have days where I just feel too much and hate it all. regardless of if its true or not, *that is how i feel. That is what im thinking.* This is not my default state of mind. Tomorrow I will be back to my self, the negative thoughts processed and filed away for when i finally see the therapist again. My coping mechanisms will be functioning properly again.
Just let me have one day. just ONE DAY to hate my lot in life. Just ONE DAY to hate myself. you can come at me tomorrow to check in on me if you want. I am safe, i am fine, i am not going to hurt myself or anyone else.
I just.... needed to let my feelings exist. be typed out so it can be tangible. And now that it is, i can process and move on after i get some rest and more water.
If youve read this far, comment with just a ♡ or a ☆. Either one is fine. no words. no tagging. just a heart or a star.
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naturalbornkillass · 2 years
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delayed post from 07/10/22 - A weird week: still depressed // might need to get the “hottest girl in rehab” sweatshirt. // modern feminism // why am i attracted to older men i dont even ducking have daddy issues
The last part happened today but i’ll include it into my evenfully unevenful week
i’ve been ridiculously depressed and irritable this week. i havent touched my prescripted medicine and i probably should. i’m in no way getting better.
During the 4th of july, i got into a hugeeee argument with my dad and i ended up staying home and playing roblox w my friends. it was kinda fun, then it all hit me. I’m at home during the 4th of july, doing absolutely nothing. I was bored and depressed. I HAD NOTHING TO DO!! So I ordered some food from grubhub and it made me feel better for a little bit. Then it hit me again. I'm getting fomo. How can i celebrate the 4th. of july? and listen I’m not the most patriotic citizen, and to be honest, i’m not big on independence day. although I am big on the celebrations itself, whether or not i really give a fuck about the reason of the celebration .
i decided to try lsd for the first time, and it was def the most sensational type of high i’ve ever experienced. especially bc it was laced with some other strong ass shit, which i didn't really know until i got tested positive for other stuff. I didn't rly mind tho, i had a good time regardless. My therapist was not happy ofc, so they actually told me that they may have to send me to a 30 day rehabilitation program if things don’t improve within the next week. It’s either that, or I have to stay at a psych ward for 7 days minimum, which isnt as bad, given that it’s so easy to trick them into thinking that you’re doing well within the span of a week. But either way, i’ll be stripped away from any sort of communication with all of you. unless i can memorize all of your number. not tryna do all that.
I'm against it, obviously. I’m functioning! I should be fine.
The reason why i’m not making such a big deal out of this is bc I’m not being too irresponsible with everything. Honestly i really do believe that they’re just trying to profit off of me. No one really knows what to do in those places. None of the staff members really know what they were getting themselves into. If you’re there for the money, why cant you at least try to put some effort on the shit tht you were supposed to do?
if i do end up in one in the future, best believe i’m pulling up in the corniest fit ever
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but fr tho i actually have to start putting some effort because i’m not trying to go to some goddamn facility. I have many plans for this summer and living in a place w a bunch of druggiez isnt my thing. if all fails, i hope to be grouped with cool people.
i met someone on roblox, which i’ve spent a few hours with….at night. it was fun okay, and im not for edating, but this is entertaining for me. i wonder how many ppl he’s groomed online. better yet, i wonder how many people get groomed on roblox??? He’s 21 btw i forgot to mention, and yeah he does sound like it. Thats all i can say tho.
The thing is, you’ll never know if your the groomer or the groomee. Edating is so funny to me despite the times that i’ve attempted to do so. I got out of that phase towards the beginning(-ish?) of 9th grade. After that, I’ve just started fishing for some creepy pedos online and i tried to see if i can get money off of them. I found many, but they all wanted my fucking face to be in pictures/videos and they wanted to be able to hear my voice and such, like how desperate can you be? Theyre all really fucking pathetic and it just pissed me off seeing people live like that. Discord users are really something else……..
just dont edate. It's that easy.
One thing that I have noticed is that I kinda have a problem with older men. Why am I writing about this online rather than telling a professional about this? Idk but I just felt like it needs to be talked about. No, I don't have daddy issues, which proves that it's only a common stereotype. Women have such a great amount of power, simply just by existing. Next thing you know, you've hypnotized them into throwing their cash onto you.
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lettersformiah · 2 years
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9:12am, 23 june
hello bubba!
you are at home sleeping rn and i am here instead of in your arms? so dog. but yeah ^^ in geo righ tnow and i dont actually give a fuck about doing this internal right now. i had a bit of an annoying morning with my phone dying and all that so im just not a fan (i just sneezed hehehe) im so sniffly now because the geo room is quite warm compared to outside. i havent seen maya or muskaan today becase when i got to the class there were only a few people in there. apparently it was because mrs copley got them all to help out with matariki and go to the stage? and do stuff? i dont know and i also wasnt really told by cash or leo smh. they just said they had to do stuff and were content with just that. so whatever, ill see them at interval.
i hope you wake up soon but i know you wont smh. youll probably wake up during the assembly maybe? or even while we are at countdown before the festival. i dont knpw actually. im not looking forward to french but i can just fuck around and try and memorise it. i know some of it? its like 'mon ecole primaire? elle s'apellait stanmore bay. je n'ai aimait ca parce que les gens etait mechants et enervants.' thats the first part of it. i know the ideas that i talk about but i dont atually know what it said. something about 'je prommais -- ecole car je vivais cinq minutes'?? something like that. unsure hehee but i guess thats what i have next period for. im excited to drop french next year hehehe. i feel bad quitting it after 4 years of learning it but honestly i dont want to do the internals or externals for it next year and im very very average. and im ok with that. plus! i can take another subject :D i gotta look into that with you, tonight maybe? hopefully youll be down for that.
im actually okay with the assembly today. its gonna be outside bc covid which is both good and bad. bit cold but also no mask wearing. i dont know where we are meant to be though. apparently the black mat? but how do you fit a whole school onto one court? i dont think you can. and the whole plan is a bit scuffed. some people know it but i havent been shown. i dont think ill be able to wear your hoodie for it though :( they are very grr about uniform obvs bc its a formal assembly but i just put it in my bag after interval and chuck it back on! and i jus zip up my jacket for french so mr moss doesnt throw a fit. hes a nice guy really but me and him dont get on sometimes. but i love him truly, hes my favorite teacher. i think i just get on his nerves sometimes. but whoops! im not for everyone all the time and thats okay. but yeah :D i have no idea what theyre gonna talk about in the assembly tbh. i dont think we have ever have a matariki one and its also meant to be from like 11:30-12:30. what do you talk about for an hour? i guess maybe with songs and lil speeches and things. im assuming itll be like the anzac ones. so necessary, but horribly boring. but i dont mind spacing out for a bit. and! ill be with my friends :D i can sit with muskaan which is nice since i got no classes with her. will be a good time. even though we always make each other laugh during the national anthem. we always end up giggling at leo because his voice is so deep compared to everyone else. so we do the thing where we look at each other and just crack up. its really bad sometimes. hopefully today will be alright!
im also excited not for the festival itself but to just hang out with ym friends. and see leo and myaya performing! but mainly just to be with muskaan and kealan >:) we hung out on sunday obvs but i havent just existed with them since no classes. sad thing about being a senior i think. but i have no money to go to countdown with :P i think i just mooch off of kealan. but if he pays for just like something for all of us to share. but he cant even eat anything because of his braces. thats shit :( i dont know. we will see i guess. i feel bad taking and using money from him even though he assures us its fine. but i dont know. maybe itll be alright.
i got half an hour of class left. did they play dnd last night? were we meant to be there? i swear i went to bed at like 10/11 and you guys were playing val. wasnt dnd meant to start at like 8? or even 10? but i wasnt told about this. thats shit. i hate that i dont stay up late anymore. i think this weekend i do :D bc its a long weekend! so i can try and stay up later tn and tomorrow night. and then its all good. i have no plans for tomorrow except for wash my sheets and do some schoolwork. which please please please make me do i have so many internals due next week and honestly it ouwld be easier to just not do them and cry about it instead. but i gotta.
my sister also texted me! well you know that, but we did the old oh yeah how u im good how u and then i left her on delivered because i genuinely forgot to reply. or i didnt knwo what to say. i never know what to say to her. she asked me if i wanted to do the daffodil day volunteering so :D i do, i was meant to last year? year before? i dont know. they cancelled it bc of covid. but its just the thing where we stand on a road and ask for money. good times. but i love daffodil day so anything to help out!!
so yeah! thats my life up until 9:38am. thrilling stuff i know. i dont know. i wish you were awake. i wish i was texting you or calling or better yet in the same room. i love you bubba. i love you so much :*)
hope your sleep is going well n youre having good dreams. i love you, talk soon.
-mads<3

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monoton-e · 1 year
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lovely little update:
i'm doing pretty good, all things considered. i'm actually learning how to drive behind the wheel, continuing transitioning my diet to foods that better serve me and my health, actually cleaning my room (I have never had a room be 100% clean. Always boxes here bags there, temporary tidy, so uh, this is HUGE for me. Just need to downsize my clothes and deal with a SINGLE box of old mail and paperwork. Woo), hell, decorate my room for the first time ever too (I've been living with blank off white walls ever since I've had my own room so it feels weird), listening to more music, cut off some people I thought were friends simply because we were in the same guild and not because of anything genuine, and stuff. Im shit at school, I realize. I dont know how to study. Also I procrastinate everything, really really bad. I started playing guitar again and I plan to start drawing again; it's been too long. My situationship remains as is, a situationship but honestly, its like a fwb but the benefits are emotional LMFAO well, there *is* some actual fwb but its all online which is a okay with me. Honestly a solid support friend, and I've gotten much closer to 2 other friends recently too. Its nice seeing people being genuine in their interactions with me simply because they want to be around me. I'm on the fence over one friendship, we call eachother besties because of how much we've gone through together, but they don't understand that I want nothing romantic with them, not even my normal everyday soft fluff affection I give to my friends normally. I've been distancing myself because its all I really can do. My relationship with my sister is still shit but we're taking it a day at a time. My parents and I are on better terms, but also tense in its own way because of financial tensions. I dont talk to my niece as much, but we still send eachother memes. Same with my bro. Thats really it. Oh, and my cat is still here, follows me around more often lately and likes to take naps on his tree and my room when its cold.
I'm doing good, still depressed and mentally and emotionally *shxt* but I'm good. Vitamin water is lit. So is sourdough toasted with a bit of honey on it. Lavender earl grey tea with a spoonful of shite sugar and a dash of milk is delicious. I miss the feeling of my skin being hydrated by simply existing outside like it was in LA. I am lonely as I dont have anyone out here in ABQ to call a friend and to spend time together but it is what it is. I feel more truthful and honest and more.. sincere? I dunno, I normally am but this time I dont really make an effort to fake it or try to people please anymore. Its been interesting.
I'm taking 2 classes and failing them rn (statistics and english). I haven't worked since November.
I'm struggling so much. Some days, the smallest thing will make me cry. Oh yeah, I'm a big ol crybaby these days. I'm sensitive af (not new) but I've been just feeling things out as long as I need to. Its not really good or bad, nor helpful really, but its nice to just let it out, exist, and listen to music.
I found my meds (been off for a few months b/c I lost them and lost the will to take em) but I took my first pill in a long time today. And yeah. Now thats it.
Thanks for reading, maybe I'll have more to say in terms of accomplishments next update, we'll see
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midnight-basker · 1 year
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2022: Smoldering Ash.
I wanted to wait until todays date to write this, my yearly look back.
Ive noodled this intro in my head for weeks. Thinking about how I'd go about this, what level of tact, of frustration, of anguish, of steadiness.
Below the cut, is an incredibly personal look back on 2022.
I write this for myself, for my own self.
A year ago today, an integral part within me was forever, irreversibly altered.
I lost someone, I lost them as someone who existed in my life, as someone who wanted me in theirs.
They were the singular most important, most favorite person I knew.
It felt like I was drowning.
The last words they said to me haunted me back then, and... honestly still do. Even now.
In the darkest sense, I was set free. The Hanged Man, cut down from its hanging tree, the Wheel of Fortune revolving to the next half-cycle, the Tower come crashing down.
It was like... Learning how to breathe again. A fundamental aspect of my life and of my self that was now a void that just... had to be reconstructed, or better said, had to be built around.
I lost myself, for the first part of 2022. I didn't turn to any vices or bad habits or anything like that. I was just... not there for that part of the year. I was empty, a void, a husk. I had lost them and I... could not recover.
Rather... I wasnt capable of recovering.
I could not tell you what happened in January, or February, or March, or April.
I cant because... I dont remember any of it.
Anyone who knows me well would know how much that fucking scares me. Its one of my biggest fears, losing my memories. And there I was, my mind refusing to retain anything. Incapable of retaining anything.
I didn't contemplate anything drastic. I just... didnt contemplate anything at all. I was a black void wearing the shell of the person I used to be. I didn't reach out to anyone, I didn't, couldn't, let the shell slip. At the time, I felt that no one I knew, or could talk to, would be able to help me in the way I needed or wanted.
So I kept quiet. I went to work, I take care of house and home, I played games and spent time with friends through that.
But that wasn't the person I used to be. That was the shell. The void pretending to be human. Doing whatever it could to maintain any anchor it could establish. Anchors provided stability. Stability, it had hoped, could provide an identity. It had not had the ability to entertain the idea of recovery back then.
...
Until May.
In May, for what ever reason, my family had decided to explore a cavern that was near by. A half hour drive to one of the local caverns found in the mountain region by the new home I lived in. A forty minute tour 500 feet beneath the earth to explore a line of caverns decorated with dazzling lights and incredible nature-made structures.
I bring this up because, that was the first thing I can remember from 2022 after January. The cavern was fun. It was something I had never seen before in my life. A completely novel experience that, well honestly, became the first thing that began to fill the void I was.
And from that kernel within me, I started to reach out.
Not to anyone in particular. At first I made an effort to connect better with online friends. Just... being more around than before. Making plans with the ones I was local with so that we could hang out at a mutual mall.
Then, I started reaching out to people I once talked to. Old friends from high school and that era. Hung out with some, but admittedly nothing substantial came from it.
I suppose, looking back on it, I was rebuilding a new set of connections. With the loss of the most important one I had, I wanted to ground myself. To suspend that kernel of self in the center of the within the void underneath my hallowed shell with a web of all kinds of connections.
My memory of the summer is still spotty. I remember hanging out with a high school buddy for her birthday bbq. At this point, I had reached out to my closest friends. Told them what had happened. They gave me the same advice they had always given me, and just as before, they were there for me. They had my back.
Come July, I had my biggest excursion yet.
This was known to me for months at this point but it was finally time to act on everything my family and I had prepped and planed for.
A 10 hour drive with my immediate family from the DMV area all the way up north to cross the Canadian frontier.
A week long family visit, being taken out and toured all across Montreal and the surrounding area. Words cant describe how incredible the trip was. Exploring a world I had never experienced before.
It was absolutely amazing. And by the end of it, I felt... better.
I didnt feel whole. Not by a long shot. Despite all of my renewed connections, hang outs, big trips. In the middle of them all, was still a void. Everyday I missed them. Everyday I wish I could talk to them again, show them what I had seen. Invite them to join me.
This was a feeling that reverberated my entire being. In the darkest corners of my self, the longing for my closest friend remained.
By the end of July, I was now 25. Part of me hoped that something would change. That I would get a phone call or I would wake up and something fundamental would be different or fixed.
But, the world doesnt work like that, unfortunately.
When I turned 25, I tried my hand at reading the tarot again. Something I had stopped doing back at the start of the year. By the point, my prophetic dreams had eluded me. Sleep was just a reflection of within and within was... well, you know.
I wish I could say I found success again in my augury...
Nothing was there. It was gone, all of it.
It was... heart breaking. Another aspect of myself either gone or lost. The rest of me left reeling at the discovery.
There was one silver lining, however. As a result of my efforts, my dreams started to come back. Nights were no longer as lonely as they used to be.
In August and September, I got more involved with the online communities I was already in. Make a name for myself yknow? Be someone recognized. A lot of that involved just being present in twitch stream chat and in discord. It was fun, and still is. Even got to guest act in a youtube video.
I also started a new hobby, one to supplant my origami hobby. Sticker collecting. I took stickers I either found cool or bought ones online, and turned them into magnets. That way I could rearrange them however many times as I wanted, and never truly lose them.
Im looking at my collection so far right now. Ive got a good collection Id say so myself.
...
October...
October had 1 thing happen that...
...
In October, they came back.
They reached out to me.
And... We talked for the first time in... 10 months.
We shared one conversation.
I thought that things would be better, we would work on regaining that level of friendship we had before. A rocky start sure but we woud make it through, like we always did.
A week later, we shared half of one.
And then.
Nothing.
Everything had gone back to the silent darkness it was before.
I hadnt heard from them since the previous December. I hadnt *seen* them since the previous July, on my 24th birthday.
They had come back.
And then... they left. No words, no explanation.
Just... gone.
The words they told me in January rang in my head for the first time in months.
...
If I wanted to talk to you. I would have.
...
Any progress I had made up to that point was... shattered.
Its taken me almost an hour to write this section. As I recall every detail, the words, the hope I had, the abyssal disappointment when I realized that in the end, nothing had changed. Nothing was going to get better. nothing I could do would matter.
For a long, slow set of days, I felt myself slip closer and closer to that blank slate.
Except, now, I had a support structure.
The very same web the void had constructed. One built on reformed connections, experiences, dates, hang outs, jokes, memories, people, places.
I had lost who used to be my best friend for the second time in the same year.
And it hurt in a way that I cannot, and will not describe. Because it still hurts the same way now.
But I was propped up. By the same connections I made, a safeguard, a failsafe, a causal net I had never expected or hoped to have been used this way.
November was here.
I could not slip back to a blank slate.
November saw me preparing for my first convention in January. MAGfest, held during the first week of that month.
Every day was like standing at the bottom of the ocean, weighed down by blue-tinted blackened sky.
By this point, I had already taken a habit of making more night time drives. Familiarizing myself with the Midnight Highway. Finding a comfort in being surrounded by nothing and no one on the road. Windows down underneath a moonless night sky.
Work had begun to ramp up, and with that, I had even less time for myself than before.
So I decided to make an effort to rebuild another connection one that wouldn't allow for me to slip back to nothingness.
I started hanging out with an old pair of friends from my previous friend group. At first I was worried. As they shared a history with them, and also with me. But, as fate would have it, in the context of we three, that history was water under the bridge after a conversation or two.
Im happy to say that Ive been able to maintain that streak thus far.
December was much of the same.
To the point where I dont recall the divide between months.
...
Everyday I missed them.
At the end of the year, I spent it with online friends while physically I was with family. The week after that, came MAGfest.
An intense 4 days of con-walking, video games, costumes, music, panels, art. A whirlwind of everything I enjoyed. I even got to meet one of my favorite streamers, got a photo too.
Im thinking of going next year too.
Im also thinking of going to a con in Vegas this summer. If Im fortunate enough, Ill be able to do it. If Im fortunate enough in both luck and money.
If this feels abrupt, its because it is.
Im still experiencing everything that happened at the end of 2022. Im still reeling, Im still processing, Im still wishing I could go back to MAGfest.
You dont just lose the person you loved and cared about the most in the world, someone you've know for years, suddenly. And... just be okay with that. Every single day I think about them at least in passing. And I miss them, each and every time. Yeah I had amazing experiences this year ones that I will never forget and will only grow upon, but even throughout it all, I thought about the person I lost, who I wanted to reconnect with to rebuild.
2022 was spent grieving. I cant say what I want 2023 to be. I dont know yet. I think I want to continue recovering the person I was before. Continue filling out the void I am and fixing the shell I wear. New connections, better connections.
Let me rebuild. Let me breathe.
Let me live.
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diavolosthots · 3 years
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Hey dear! I hope that you have a good time! I want to make a request, but please delete it if you don't feel like doing it.
I saved that request in the notes and been waiting for you to open them 😊
For request
First fight with brother (any of your choice) and one of them (I mean MC or that brother) thinks that it's end of relationship (because never had anything serious), but they reconciled in the end. I want some heavy angst with happy ending. MC can be GN if that is OK.
If you don't mind you can do for Mammon, but feel free to choose another one if you don't feel like write for him. Or if that would be better to write as headcanons for all the brothers. That's up to you!
I haven't been doing requests for ages. Please don't hate me if there is something wrong! I've read the rules, and I hope I haven't missed anything.
Anyway, sorry for long ask. And thank you for your writings!
(I forgot to look if you did anything similar, and remembered it at the end of writing that ask. Sorry if you already did something like that!)
Hey babes ❤ I did end up doing HCs for all of them because I thought it would be cooler (or more like I know someone is gonna request separate fics for all of them if I dont and I'm saving myself that trouble lol) I still hope you like it ! ❤ also this got SUPER LONG so its under a cut
Warning: angst -> happy ending-ish
THE BROTHERS in a fight with MC and thinking that they’re over (yikes)
Lucifer:
Everyone always says Lucifer is quick to lose his cool but he’s honestly been nothing but patient with you. He may have hinted at several things he doesn’t condone and he definitely has that ‘look’, you know the disappointed dad look, but he has held back a lot so as to not ruin the beautiful relationship you have with him. Everyone snaps, though, and when he finally did, it was ugly. He did NOT call you names, but oh he didn’t. He went straight for your feelings and pointed out every mistake you ever made for as long as he’s known you. Ouch. In his defense, you weren’t nice either. The argument ended nasty and ‘I hate you’s!’ were definitely thrown around, but none of them were meant, right? Goodness, he doesn’t know. After you left, he threw himself on his bed, literally, and just stared at the ceiling. His anger slowly fled away and he began to feel… guilty. Not necessarily because of the argument itself, but because he delivered some low blows and he knows that. Are you over? Done with him? You haven’t texted or called or talked… you’ve been actively avoiding him and he doesn’t like that, but his pride is such an issue, goodness. He can’t straight up apologize, that dickhead, but he’s sending you flowers and standing in front of your door with a sad face that says it all. 
“Forgive me? I made reservations at your favorite’s? We can talk over a nice dinner?” 
Mammon:
Mammon is known to get mildly agitated over the silliest things, let’s be real. He’s also quick to revert to the “are you dumb?!” argument, which is never effective. But he loves you and he would do anything for you so even if you do do something that he deems ‘dumb’, he usually bites his tongue. Doesn’t mean that doesn’t get on his nerves, though, and he definitely has a short temper, although people tend to overlook that. You just managed to push his buttons today and he used the “are ya stupid?!” argument, to which you obviously defended yourself, and rightfully so. This ended in a massive screaming match and him saying “Then leave! Ain’t nobody keepin’ ya with me!” He regretted it the minute those words left his mouth and you could see his eyes grow wide in shock at his own words, but that didn’t mean you stayed. “MC!” he tried running after you immediately but you were faster and honestly, who can blame you? He fucked up, and he knows it, and he feels terrible about it. Honestly, he’s crying just at the mere thought of you taking his words seriously and he can’t… he can’t bear to lose you, you know? What’s he gonna do? You’re the light of his life, as pathetic as that may sound to some…. So he won’t let you run away. Homie will hunt you down and beg for forgiveness. 
“Please, MC! Forgive me! I’m dumb, not you!!! Don’t leave me…” Don’t leave him. He will continue crying. 
Leviathan:
His constant need to put himself down is frankly, quite annoying. To you anyway. But you put up with it and just reassure him that, at least to you, he’s the most amazing demon that ever existed. It’s just facts. But a person only has so much patience, right? You can’t always spend your days trying to lift him up when all he does is dig himself a bigger hole. Who has the emotional time for that? You sure don’t. “Oh my God, Levi! Shut up! I can’t take it anymore!” Followed by “See! You’re just like everyone else! Leaving me!” and then you slamming the door to his room shut. It’s frustrating and understandably so. It makes you feel awful that you can’t even make your own boyfriend feel good about himself and get at least a little bit of self confidence and it’s so, so, so very draining to have to constantly listen to that. At this point, it’s affecting your own mental health and you just… you just can’t…. But Levi can’t lose you because he knows you’re right. He has to work on himself if he wants to keep someone as amazing as you with him and that’s why he’s crawling back to you now. 
“Look I… I know you’re right… I’m sorry. I promise I’ll … I’ll try. For you.”
Satan:
For being the Avatar of Wrath, you always admired Satan for his ability to keep cool. He prefers the relaxed and easy going life much more than the type of life people expect him to live, and you respect that. That doesn’t mean his constant need to one up Lucifer, through whatever means necessary, didn’t bother the hell out of you, though. You tried talking to him about it once or twice in a calm manner, but you always got the same answer “Pfft.. it’s Lucifer. Who cares?” And it never sat right with you. Just today he decided to pull a prank on the eldest and you had enough, standing in front of Lucifer and letting the bucket of cursed green slime land on you instead, to everyone’s shock. “What are you doing?!” Now that you’re thoroughly green from head to toe, you were also beyond pissed. “What am I doing?! What are YOU doing?!” But Satan matched your anger tenfold, accusing you of favoring Lucifer over him and oh! “You probably got an affair with him, too!” Which was a stupid thing on his part, but it looked like it the way you defended him. Anger doesn’t even begin to describe the emotion you felt running through you and had it not been for Lucifer, you probably would’ve physically fought Satan for such a dumb accusation. Lucifer took you to get cleaned up and lifted the course, giving you your natural skin and hair color back within a few days and plenty of scrubbing, and Satan felt like shit. You’ve always been there for him and, rationally speaking, he didn’t have a reason to doubt your loyalty to him, but he just can’t help but feel insecure beside Lucifer…. He decides to come apologize anyway, a deep blush on his face and guilt in his eyes 
“I’m… sorry for accusing you. It wasn’t my right to speak out of anger and jealousy…” 
Asmodeus:
How can anyone fight with the Avatar of Lust? Seriously, the guy is super easy going and he loves pretty much everyone. Not as much as himself, but almost. You on the other hand… you didn’t. Well you didn’t NOT love him or yourself, but you were just… you. You didn’t spend 4+ hours in the bathroom trying to get ready when you knew you were only going to the kitchen down the stairs. Like?? Although you never brought it up to Asmodeus, he constantly bothered you about skincare and what foods to eat and what not to eat, etc… It’s quite annoying, honestly, and at some point you just gave him a passive aggressive “Okay, whatever. Can we move on now?” To which he didn’t take lightly. He was still nice and sweet, trying to convince you that at least one of these things will make your skin glow brighter than a unicorn’s ass but you just had enough. “Can you stop?! You’re indirectly saying I’m ugly without that shit ton of product in my face and a diet that would make me starve before it helped me! If you want a skinny VS angel that barely holds onto their skeleton, get one!” It was more hurt and frustration speaking than anything, but your outburst still shocked him and he was taken aback for a moment. And then you ignored him for a week straight and as someone who thrives off of attention, especially the kind he gets from you, he can’t handle that! So he showed up in your room in sweats and a tshirt and messy hair and no product on his skin. 
“You’re right… we’re all naturally beautiful…. Wow that… that really hurts to say MC but can you forgive me?” 
Beelzebub:
Oh the sweet, sweet angel. He’s far from innocent and you know that. We all know that. But for this story, I will give him the benefit of the doubt. His reliance on Belphegor is just really… annoying. Belphegor this, Belphegor that. “Belphie used to…” or “Belphie said….” or “one day when Belphie and I….” Like why does everything have to include his twin? It’s so annoying and so rude when your significant other is right here !!! and planning their own future with you, Beel, thanks. It makes you feel less than and like Belphegor will always come before you. It makes you feel like shit, quite frankly, and who is to blame you? “Hey MC did I tell you what Belphie---!” “No! Shut up! I don’t care! It’s always about Belphie! The day you come to me and don’t let that name drip from your tongue is the day Jesus comes back to save me and we both know that will be never! I’m tired of always being stuck with Belphegor! We are not equals!” Granted, you shouldn’t have yelled and Beel was more than confused at your outburst, but you wouldn’t talk to him anymore after that so he left you alone. He thought you may need an hour or two, maybe a day tops, but that day turned into a full week and he even lost his appetite just because he knows you’re angry with him. It’s been a week, does that mean you’re over? His heart aches just at the thought… 
“I’m sorry for bringing Belphie up… I don’t want you to feel less than, MC. You mean a lot to me and so does Belphie, but you’re not Belphie and I need to learn that…”
Belphegor:
Honestly it’s a miracle he hasn’t lost his temper at you yet. Well, he partially blames it on his own laziness because if being angry or getting upset didn’t take so much energy out of him, maybe he would’ve snapped by now lol, but he tries really hard not to because he thinks your relationship with him after everything is pretty good, considering yall kiss and snuggle and fuck on a regular basis. But anyway, that’s exactly the issue. Considering everything, you’re still holding *that* against him. It’s never direct either, which makes it worse. It’s always said in a joking manner and something like “haha look it’s just like that one time you killed me” or “Beel’s grabbing that ham like you grabbed my throat” or “I remember seeing jesus for a moment there” and it agitates him. It makes him so angry, and he finally snapped. “I know I fucked up MC! Stop holding it against me! What do you want? A medal of honor? A survivor's certificate? Maybe a pat on the back for developing some sort of Stockholm syndrome that made you come back to your abuser?!” And then he left. And you may have cried both from confusion and your own anger, he isn’t quite sure. It’s just so…. Aggravating. He can’t deal with it. He knows it was a mistake spurted by his own insecurities and survivor’s guilt which ultimately led to his hatred but please, stop holding it against him.. He can’t keep putting up with it from the person he’s grown to love. He’s the one ignoring you and he won’t budge either because he’s a stubborn ass, but maybe if you come up first… 
“I’m sorry for yelling at you… I’m just so tired for it being held against me… I love you, and you should know that, and I do feel guilty about what happened.” 
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anime-alyssa · 3 years
Text
genshin boys valentine’s headcanons!
figured i’d be at least a little festive. these are kind of long so sorry sdkfsdfsd gonna put a read more. implied spice but not graphic - and i’m pretty sure i for once in my life kept it gender neutral so go me
these were kind of hard to do since i dont do hc’s really, i make fics and yall can for sure tell where i started to struggle skfsdfsd
they are also on ao3 so do not be alarmed 
Diluc:
He’d be acting like he didn’t give a shit about valentine’s day but this mf is a softie
Thinking he didn’t care, you’d offer to just stay in for the day or something
Honestly as long as it was just the two of you, you don’t really care
“What? No, we’re going out to dinner. I already planned it.” 
You were really surprised, since he hadn’t voiced an opinion on the holiday before
To him this year was different - you were married, so he assumes it should be a bigger deal
You dressed up in your favorite outfit and met him at Angel’s Share later that day and  you swear you saw his jaw drop to the floor 
He regained his composure before he could tease you about it, taking you to dinner as promised
He held your hand from across the table and listened to you ramble about whatever
You’d try to ask him things, but he’d shake you off, not wanting to talk about himself
Nothing was out of the ordinary, just a normal dinner
Until the walk home, when he pulled out a present for you
“I had this made for you.” 
A necklace made out of a Crystal core, melted into the Pyro symbol like his vision
You started to get weepy as he put it on, pressing a kiss to your temple and wrapping his arms around your middle to embrace you
You turned back around to kiss him on the lips
After that he couldn’t get you home fast enough
You thanked the archons that everyone else at the WInery was home for the night
Namely because he fucked you right against the door once you got him 
And on the reception desk
….. And the table
Kaeya:
Listen, this man dotes on you 
We all know Kaeya is the romantic type to the max so this is his day
He wakes you up by kissing up your body and making you orgasm
After that, he has to go in and work for a little bit 
You don’t really mind, he gave you a bag of Mora and told you to buy something nice because he’s taking you to Liyue for a few days
He plans on celebrating for days, apparently
“We have a lot to celebrate, don’t we? It’s been quite a year.”
Well, he wasn’t wrong about that
When you get to Liyue, immediately your taken out to dinner and told to order anything you wanted 
You almost feel bad when you glance at the bill, saying it's not fair he did everything when it was supposed to be for both of you.
Later on that night, you and Kaeya walked around Liyue harbor together
“You didn’t have to do all this for me - really.”
He looked at you like you were crazy and smirked 
“But I did.”
Imagine the look on your face when he got down on one knee
After you stopped crying, you somehow managed a yes
Once you get back to where you were staying, he was on you
Except now it’s time for you to show him how you feel
He doesn’t complain when you do
The reminder of your days in Liyue are spent in a similar fashion: eating and fucking
Childe:
He has it planned down to the second
When you woke up he was gone, making you upset
But when you walked out of the bedroom and saw the dozens of roses, all was forgiven
He left you a note, saying he’d be back shortly but to get ready to go out.
Once he was home, he found you and immediately embraced you
He was always one to shower you in compliments to begin with but today he was extra complimenting on everything about you
He planned the entire day around your favorite things to do, from going to the tea shop and to the bookstore
You tried to fit in something he liked to do, but he fought you
“I’m happy seeing you happy, you know that!” 
God damn it, he made your heart melt 
You got home that night and he cooked for you
And it was actually really, really good
He got you a few presents too, of course
Custom made jewelry, of course 
You fell asleep on him that night, with his arms wrapped around you and your head on his chest
You had been cuddling for what felt like hours, exchanging loving kisses between conversation
You didn’t miss how he said he couldn’t wait till next year
Xiao:
Thinks that it’s incredibly dumb 
“It’s a waste of time” he says
You get visibly sad, thinking now that you’re not gonna do anything for the whole day
You were gonna make him his favorite and everything, as a surprise
Now you’re just sad 
Oh fuck oh fuck why are you upset red alert Xiao - 
He asks Zhongli for advice, which isn’t any fucking good cause he tells him to show you how much he loves you 
How the fuck does he do that?
He doesn’t know
He settles for trying to comfort you in his own way, cuddling with you and apologizing for being an ass
You accept, and offer to make Almond Tofu for the two of you, but he says he’ll make it instead
It isn’t very good, but the thought is what matters
He tried and that was enough for you
After dinner he gets very touchy
That damn Harbinger was with Zhongli, he mentioned this is also something women like
He wasn’t too keen to believe him, but the way you moaned just now made his dick twitch
The rest of the night he shows you just how much he really loves you
Albedo:
You didn’t think he knew that Valentine’s Day existed, honestly 
Imagine your surprise when he woke you up with flowers, and saying he took the day off
…. But that you needed to go out for work first
You didn’t argue, he hardly ever took time off, so you’d go with him to get his supplies
Even if that meant you’d fucking freeze in Dragonspire
Once you got to his workstation in the mountain, he suggested a way to warm you up
Your heart skipped a beat, until he pulled out a warming potion
“What’s wrong? Drink it and you can be warm again.”
You drank it, and then explained what you had thought he meant
He laughed in your face, of course
“Don’t worry, that will come… after dinner.” 
Now you were fidgeting with anticipation the rest of the damn night 
(that was also something that didn’t happen to often, damn workaholic)
He started to notice at Angel’s Share, but you blamed it on the Dandelion Wine
He saw right through you, but of course made it up later that night
Right before you were about to go to sleep, you felt him slip something on your finger
It was a ring - obviously handmade. It glowed a pretty yellow color, much like his vision
“Happy Valentine’s, my love.” 
Zhongli:
He doesn’t quite understand what the big deal is 
“Why is there a day dedicated to love? I say it everyday, right?”
He thinks it's just a consumer-made holiday
Which it is, obviously
But god damn it you just want your boyfriend to treat you to fucking dinner
Even if it’s just Grilled Tiger Fish, that would suffice considering the former Archon never remembers his damn Mora 
You thought you had died when he walked you into the finest restaurant in Liyue
You refused to order until you had proof he had Mora on him
He agreed with a laugh and showed you that he had plenty 
He had arranged the table himself, apparently, moving both chairs next to each other
This was so he could hold you throughout the evening, make sure you were okay 
And whisper raunchy things into your ear while you tried to watch the entertainment like everyone else 
For someone who didn’t understand the hype he was feeding into it quite a bit 
He may be ancient, but he still had game 
By the time you were done, your thighs were red from you rubbing them together
You tried to make it into the bedroom, but he was quicker than you were 
He called the rest of the night getting his Mora’s worth 
Scaramouche:
“You’re kidding me? You care about that?”
You should have known that would be the reaction, honestly
After begging hard enough, he agrees to dinner
You claim he gave in, he claims he was going to do it anyway
(he gave in)
He spent almost the whole time irritated that everyone was lovey-dovey
“Scara, that’s how it is today. We look like the odd ones out.”
He couldn’t have any of that, so he moved his chair next to yours and ate with one arm around your shoulder the rest of the time 
You dragged him around to do things that you saw other couples doing
You know, like holding hands and going for walks, eating some street food
Couple things
He was quiet for most of the night, humoring you
You saw a nice necklace that you wanted while you were walking, but was offput by the price
They wanted how much Mora for that?!
You were eating a snack when Scaramouche walked away, saying he’d be back 
A few minutes later, he clasped the necklace around your neck
“I don’t want to hear it. Isn’t that the whole point of the holiday? Buying shit for your partner?” 
You tried to tell him it wasn’t just that, but he shut you up with some kisses
When you got home, he shut you up with more than just kisses
“This is what I was looking forward to today.”
394 notes · View notes
onionsaremeansstuff · 3 years
Note
Would you write a michael (john) smut story were the reader is his soulmate and some random guy is flirting with him. also michael gets possessive with the reader which causes them to have sex
hey! Thanks for the request ! Michael is one of my favorite characters in supernatural so i really liked you request ! I’m not the best smut writer but I tried, hope you like it!
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Pairing: Michael!John x reader
Gender: Male
Warnings: Smut
I dont own the character or the gif
"Y/N! Stop!" A deep, booming voice ordered which caused you to stop. 
You didn't need to turn around to know who it was that ordered you to stop. 
It was the archangel, Michael. 
A few weeks ago, Chuck had decided to release Michael from the cage, as well as giving Adam his body back and Michael was using young John Winchester's body as a vessel. 
You had never met the archangel before and honestly, you never wanted to meet him. But, since you lived with the Winchesters, meeting him was bound to happen eventually. 
When you first met the Archangel, he only stared at you like he was seeing through you and claimed that you were special. 
Apparently you were some kind of powerhouse that Chuck created for Michael. 
As long as you are living, Michael gets stronger, especially when he's around you. 
When he first claimed that you were special, you scoffed and told him to go fuck himself and leave you alone. But, that didn't stop the prince of Heaven from doing what he wanted. 
He always came to the bunker to check on you. And you asked why he cares about you so much. 
"I don't care about you, I only care about what you can do, little human." He told you.
He made it very clear why he came to check up on you and this time wasn't any different. 
He also liked to order you around. 
"It's already 3 AM, Y/N. You humans need your sleep. Go to bed now and that's an order!" 
You looked at him tiredly and was about to say something back to him when you really looked at him and his vessel. 
Damn, John was hot. 
You met older John before and you thought that he was definitely a DILF. 
But, his younger self was hot as fuck. 
"Stop having those thoughts about my vessel and go to bed!" The Angel ordered once again. 
"Okay, you don't tell me what to do. You don't own me," You responded, and annoyance was written across Michael's face. He snapped his fingers and you were suddenly lying down in your bed with your pajamas on, "Michael!" You scolded. 
You were standing in the kitchen, waiting for Dean to finish making breakfast which consisted of pancakes and bacon. 
"Goodnight, Y/N." He growled out before he disappeared with the sound of flapping wings.
---
"Hurry up, Dean. I'm starving!" You exclaimed and a chuckle left the older man's mouth. 
"You will survive, kiddo." He replied and went back to cooking the food. 
Finally, he finished the food and put it on a plate for you. He handed it to you and you took it out of his hands quickly, plopping down into the chair and picking up a fork, ready to eat this delicious food. 
When you were about to eat it, the plate freakin' disappeared. It was gone. 
"What the-" Before you could finish that sentence, a plate full of salad appeared in front of you. 
A freakin' salad?! 
"Your diet is horrible, little human." Michael commented with that stupid smirk on his face. 
"I'm sure that there are other important things for you to do in Heaven right now than to worry about my health and my food choices, Michael." You said angrily, anger rising in your chest. 
Dean sat at the table, eating his food as he watched you two go at it. 
"There's actually nothing important that I have to do in Heaven right now, Y/N. Heaven is doing great which is the exact opposite of what you are doing right now. Don't even get me started on the fact that you didn't even get 8 hours of sleep last night." 
You blinked at the angel in front of you. 
This angel is crazy. He is not your dad and was not someone to boss you around and make you eat rabbit food. You don't eat rabbit food. You now see  and understand what Dean was talking about when Sam brought that food in here. 
 You have officially had enough. 
You just smiled at them. A huge fake smile and grabbed the knife off the table. You walked over to the wall as the other two standing in the room watched you. After cutting your palm, you drew that angel banishing sigil on the wall. 
"What are you-" Michael couldn't finish that sentence because you completed the sigil and sent that damn angel away. 
"Ah, couple fights always make my mornings better." Dean spoke once Michael was gone with his mouth full of bacon and you rolled your eyes, leaving the room. 
 ---
That night, you and the Winchesters went to a bar. 
The brothers headed inside while you stayed outside, sitting on the bench. There weren't anyone out here except for a few other people. Some drunk and some not. 
"Hey handsome, did your license get suspended because you are driving me crazy." A random guy said that really cheesy pick up line to you, giving you a smile and you laughed. 
"You get a 0 for the pickup line, but a 10 for making me laugh." You told him and started chatting with him.
"So, Y/N..." He started rubbing his finger up and down your thigh as you felt yourself flush, "I may not be from NASA, but can I show you stars today?" 
 You opened your mouth to reply, but the annoying angel interrupted your conversation. 
"Sorry, but he's busy today." Michael spoke, irritation could be heard in his voice. He grabbed onto your shoulder and teleported you back to the bunker. 
"What the hell is your problem, Michael?" You screamed at the archangel. 
"That disgusting human tried to have sex with you, Y/N! I saved you!" 
"Maybe I wanted to have sex with him, Mikey." You retaliated, grabbing your knife and getting ready to draw that angel banishing sigil again, but Michael snapped his fingers and the knife disappeared. 
"You deserve way better than that filthy mongrel." Michael insisted. 
"Look, I know I'm like your powerhouse, or whatever, but you can't control my life. My eating habits and sleep schedule were pretty harmless, but who I have sex with is crossing a line and is none of your business." You told him, "Besides, I'm human. A mongrel or a hairless ape like you always say, so why do you care so much?" 
Michael stared at you for a long time before telling you what he was thinking, "Because I can't stand the idea of someone touching you." He let out a sigh and looked anywhere other than you. 
You looked at him in confusion, "Why can't you stand it?" 
 "I lied to you, Y/N. You are not a source of energy for me. You never were." He admitted, sitting on the bed, "You are so much more than just that. You are my soulmate." 
You stared at him for a couple seconds before you started laughing hysterically. 
"Me? Your soulmate?" You laughed again before having a serious expression on your face, "If this is some plan to get me to let you control my life, it's not gonna work." 
He looked at you, hurt and confused. 
 "I'm serious, Y/N. When I left the cage, Dad told me he had created a soulmate for me weeks ago." He got up from the bed and walked over to you, "When he showed me you, I started to laugh. How can a hairless ape be my soul mate? My father must have been crazy." He looked  at you deep in your eyes, "But, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I looked down on you from Heaven all the time to see how you were and your little habits. Oh My Father, I couldn't stand it. I wanted you. I wanted every inch of you," He walked closer to you and placed his hand on your cheek, "When I first met you in person, I thought about just taking care of you and being close to you and when I saw that man hit on you, I couldn't take it anymore. My grace boiled inside of me and before I knew it, I was on earth."
You couldn't really process everything that he just said, but for some reason you knew that he was telling the truth. 
"Michael..."
"I can't stand the idea of ​​another person, or thing touching you, Y/N. Please accept me as your soulmate." He bowed, waiting for your answer. 
You always said you hated Michael and everything he did, but that was far from the 
As much as the angel irritated you and could be very annoying, you felt a feeling of love deep down for this man.You loved Michael and all the things he has done for you. 
So, you knew what decision was right for you in the end.
"I accept you as my soulmate." 
And with that the angel smiled and attached his lips to yours. His muscular arms soon pulled at your waist, bringing you closer to him. 
"I wanted to do this for so long." He said  between kisses and then lifted you up. 
You were slightly worried about your weight but soon remembered that for an angel, you basically weighed nothing. 
 "Please Y/N, allow me to have you tonight. Allow me to make our flesh become one and allow me to merge your soul with my grace." You grunted yes between his lips but he seemed to understand since he threw you on your bed while looking at you as if you were his prey. 
He started removing the shirt he was wearing and you could see the man's muscular torso. 
"Lust is a deadly sin, Y/N." He bent down and started kissing your collarbone until he reached your ear, "Lucky you have an angel to cleanse you of your sins." 
Michael went back to your neck, sucking on it, making you moan his name. 
"This is it Y/N, pray for me." He started to suck hard on your neck until it was all marked with hickeys, "Now no miserable mortal will dare touch what is mine." He got up a little and kissed you hard, as his hand went under your shirt and caressed your torso. Michael pulled away to look at you. 
"You are by far the most perfect human to ever exist. in fact, it is a crime to compare you to a human. You are closer to a God." He said as a gentle hand stroked your sides. 
"Michael, there are more beautiful humans in the world than me." you said a little shy
"Well, I have watched humanity billions of years and you are my father's most beautiful creation." You blushed and Michael smirked, feeling confident. 
He started to remove his belt slowly, lowering his pants enough for you to see his underwear. 
"Do you like what you see, my prince?" He teased, winking at you. 
"Who knew an angel could secretly be a demon in bed." 
"You woke up a darker side of me, my prince. I had to deal with them myself, so I ended up learning something or two." He took off his pants and lowered his underwear enough to show his pubes. 
"Did you watch porn?" You asked and he just smiled. 
 "It doesn't matter now, honey." Michael lowered his underwear and revealed his erect member. 
 You had seen John naked once by accident and you already knew that older Winchester had a big package. 
 But, oh my Chuck the size scared you a little bit. 
"We’ll take it easy, Y/N. Don't be afraid."  He gently caressed your thigh as a method to calm you down. 
 When he saw that you were fine he crawled over to you, sitting on your chest and pointing his erect member in front of you
 "You know... seeing you sucking lollipops and popsicles was always a hell of a good sight to see. Your lips working on something so cold and hard, and still not being able to do anything. Well, I think you should pay me for having teased me for so long." He stated, brushing the head of his dick on your tongue "What a sight..." He gently put his dick in your mouth, inch by inch until it reached halfway and stopped.
"So hot and so cozy." Michael groaned and put a hand on your head, gently stroking your hair "Look at me." He ordered and you complied. 
 The moment you looked into his eyes you felt a thick taste of pre-cum in your mouth. 
 Slowly Michael pulled his hip back, leaving only his cockhead in your mouth before slowly putting it all back on. He repeated this movement over and over until you got used to it and then he started to fuck your mouth, getting deeper and deeper into your throat and making you choke a few times. Michael fucked your throat with formidable speed as he threw his head back and moaned. 
"So perfect." He spoke as he took his dick out of your mouth, bending down and planting a sweet kiss on your lips as well as checking if you were okay, "Let me worship you, my prince." Michael snapped his fingers and soon you were fully naked. 
 He turned you over and started to kiss your neck gently, making a kiss trail up and down your neck. He slowly went lower and lower, until he reached your ass. He put a hand on each cheek separating them and revealing your hole. 
 "So beautiful." Was the last thing you heard before feeling something wet and hot touching the perimeter of your hole. 
Michael gently brushed you with the tip of his tongue while his rough hands gripped your ass tightly. He wanted to mark you everywhere on your body. 
Soon a strange but good feeling started inside you, it was like you were being touched inside and soon a groan escaped your lips.
"What are you doing?" You asked between incessant moans. 
"My grace has many uses, Y/N and I heard that stimulating the prostate causes great pleasure. Apparently this is true." He replied as he ate you out. 
But this time he didn't lick gently. He was devouring you. Michael's tongue was fast and hungry, exploring the entire perimeter of your hole before penetrating you. 
 It was too much. The feeling was so overwhelming. Michael's tongue along with his grace made you unable to think. 
You felt your orgasm coming real quick, but you couldn't warn Michael in time.
When you were so close to a release everything stopped and you felt something holding your dick.
"Not yet, Y/N. We're going to do this together." Michael said and came out of the middle of your legs, kissing your crack up to your neck. He forced you to look at him and kissed you, "Y/N. My prince, will you give me permission to take you?"
You took a moment to contemplate Michael. The blue-green eyes looked at you with indescribable passion, as if you were a masterpiece that deserved to be contemplated. His mouth curled upward into a smile and his dark hair was so sweaty.
You always thought Michael's vessel was beautiful, but now you can't think of anything more beautiful than him. You no longer see him as young John, but as the person who loved you.
"Y/N? Is everything okay? If I went too far I'm sorry I thought that-"
"No, sorry I was just lost in thoughts." You kissed him on the lips, "Take me, Michael."
He smiled and snapped his fingers.
"As much as the whole preparation process is interesting and important, I am impatient, so why not just use my grace, right?" He winked at you and turned you on your back and positioned himself between your legs.
Michael slowly started to penetrate you until the head of his dick was completely inside of you. He looked at you to check that everything was fine before going in deeper. Inch by inch until he was completely inside. He bent down and started kissing your neck, waiting for you to get used to his size.
Michael then started to move, taking all of his length except his head and then putting everything back on. He repeated the movement over and over, each time with more speed until finally he pounds you.
Michael turned into a moaning mess while he fucked you.
He started kissing you while you moaned against each other.
One of Michael's hands flicked your nipple while another explored and caressed your torso. This along with Michael's accurate hit on your prostate made you moan loudly and Michael smirked.
"Do you think that man from earlier could make you feel the way you're feeling now?" Michael asked, "Do you think he would be able to fuck you  the way I fuck  you?" You didn't answer the question, but Michael already knew the answer. 
Michael's arms wrapped around you and turned you over. Now you were on top of him. 
"Ride me, babyboy." He put his hands behind his head and waited for you to start riding him, admiring the view. 
Michael had seen countless things in the world. From the paintings of each classic painting to the creation of each of the wonders of the world, but nothing could match the sight he was seeing now. 
With your eyes closed and your head thrown back, you moaned and rode him like there was no tomorrow. 
Michael moved his hands and placed one on each side of your, guiding you in the movements you were making. 
He knew was almost close and knew you would soon be close, too. Michael pulled you against his chest, moving so that he could move his hips so that he could continue to fuck you. 
"Y/N," He moaned out," My prince, my soul mate. I love you and I would leave everything for you. Heaven and my grace. You are my everything." Michael declared, but you could barely think with him pounding into you, his dick hitting your prostate constantly. 
You felt something warm involving you.  
It was Michael's wings. 
 With a grunt, Michael came inside of you but without stopping his movements.Your battered prostate along with the feeling of Michael's hot cum inside you brought you to your orgasm. 
 With your orgasm, Michael's movements became more and more slow until he finally stopped with both you panting hard. 
 Michael kissed you everywhere. On your head, your lips, your forehead, your neck. 
 His wings still surrounded you. 
 Michael moved you, putting you aside while he spooned you, his cock still inside you. 
A comforting hand gently caressed your thigh, "You are perfect, Y/N. I am eternally grateful that you let me love you." He kissed the back of your neck "Now rest my prince. Tomorrow we will have many things to do." He gave you one last kiss on the back of your neck.
You didn't know exactly what your relationship with Michael would be like now. But honestly you didn't care about that. 
All you cared about was the fact that your angel was hugging you with his wings surrounding you. 
And nothing else.
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iceeckos12 · 3 years
Text
time travel snippet
little time travel au oneshot. season 5 jon travels back in time to season 1. from the perspectives of tim, martin, and sasha. 3.5k.
i dont think i need to tag anything, but please let me know otherwise.
Tim wakes up that morning, and it’s just like any other day.
Well—no, okay, that’s a bit misleading. Today is his first day working as an archival assistant, so he’s one part nervous, one part that breathless, exhilarated feeling you only get when you’re about to do something unfamiliar that may or may not redefine your life for the foreseeable future. When he says “it’s just like any other day”, he means that he wakes up, and he’s a normal person doing normal people things like eating a healthy breakfast and going to work.
(So, no. In short, he doesn’t realize that today is the day when It happens, that big, life-changing event that you think will Never Happen To You.)
He gets out of bed, stumbles into the bathroom. Washes his face of whatever residue that’d built up during the night, tries to scrape away the evidence of his nightmares, smiles big and bright at the mirror to see how successful his efforts were. He’s betrayed by the traitorous bags beneath his eyes, but that’s okay. Sasha taught him how to wield concealer as a shield whenever his past wore down his armor.
He shoots twin finger guns into his reflection, making soft pew, pew! noises that are almost too-loud in the hush of the bathroom. Then he turns on his heel and walks away, sauntering and humming along with the chorus of Dolly Parton’s 9 to 5.
He gets to the Institute twenty minutes before he’s supposed to—not because he’s trying to impress his boss or whatever (he and Jon have known each other long enough that there’s no point). It’s just, Jon will probably want to make some sort of game-plan before the actual workday starts. 
The poor man had been relieved to an almost comical degree when Tim had said yes, I’ll come with you to the Archives. It’s painfully obvious how out-of-his-depth Jon is with the whole “Head Archivist” thing. Tim’s honestly baffled as to why Elias had singled him out for the position in the first place, considering his lack of qualifications.
But, whatever. It’s fine! Tim and Sasha will be there to help him—although the third assistant is a bit of a problem, considering that they know absolutely nothing about him. There’s no guarantee that this Martin Blackwood won’t report inadequacies or mistakes back to Elias. If that’s the case, Tim and Sasha will have to be Jon’s safety net, which is partially why Tim is hoping to talk to Jon before anyone else gets there.
He also wants to talk to Jon because he just knows the man is probably working himself up over all of this. Maybe reassurances won’t do away with the source of anxiety entirely, but at least it’ll remind Jon that he’s not alone, and that he can count on Tim and Sasha.
As expected, when Tim gets there he can see a sliver of light pouring out from the cracked door of the Head Archivist’s office. He selects a desk and sets his bag on top of it, noting a set of strange gouges in the fake wood with a raised eyebrow, and then an internal shrug. The Institute issued laptop is near the far edge of his desk, and his collection of pictures are strategically placed so that he can see them all clearly.
His eyes linger over the image of him, his mother, and his brother. Their smiles are almost perfect replicas of each other, like someone took a mold of one of their faces and recreated it twice over.
Briefly, he closes his eyes. Then he shakes himself, releases a slow, steadying breath, and goes to check on Jon.
Tim’s not sure what he’s expecting to see when he goes into Jon’s office.
(That’s misleading too, though. He’s not sure if Jon will be visibly calm or upset, if he’ll be on his laptop, if he’ll be picking at the skin around his fingernails, as he so often does when he’s stressed. He is expecting Jon as he is and always has been—a twenty-some year old going on sixty, who wraps his gruff, grumpy demeanor about himself to protect the soft, vulnerable core he likes to pretend doesn’t exist.)
He comes up to the door, and the soft rectangle of light that emanates from beneath the door paints the tips of his shoes gold. “Jon?” he calls softly, rapping his knuckles against the frame. There’s a soft rustling noise—papers maybe? but no audible response, so he shrugs and pushes the door open. “I’m coming in.”
Tim steps inside, a quip instinctively readying itself on his tongue—but then his gaze lands on Jon, and he freezes dead in his tracks.
Even years later, he still vividly, viscerally remembers the moment he saw Danny standing on the stage underneath the Royal Opera House, the way he’d looked...not quite right. The wrongness had been subtle, so much so that it had been unnoticeable upon first glance, upon second glance. The longer Tim had looked though, the more obvious it had become, exposing all the little faults in that almost-perfect recreation of his brother.
Looking at Jon now, it’s the first and only thing he can think of. Because—yes, there’s the long, silver-streaked black hair, there’s the rich brown eyes, there’s the pair of spectacles that make him look far older than he actually is. But that’s where the similarities between the Jon he knows and this Jon end.
Jon’s always been a small man, but his feigned haughtiness makes him seem much bigger than he actually is. Except—except this Jon looks smaller somehow, his shoulders curved protectively inward, like he’s trying to present less of a target. And there’s something about his face, too—his expression is too sharp, too much—
But the worst of it is his eyes. There’s something very wrong with his eyes.
Who the fuck are you, and what have you done with Jon? He doesn’t say it out loud though, just keeps staring at Jon, a heady mix of terror and horror making any sort of reaction impossible.
After a moment Jon’s lips thin, contorted by some distant cousin of displeasure, and he rises to his feet. Tim stumbles instinctively backward, his breath escaping him in a sharp gasp that’s immediately swallowed up by the apathetic stacks of books and papers surrounding them. He’s struck by the fact that if he dies here, it’s unlikely anyone will notice; he’ll become just another set of marks gouged into the desk, willed away with an uneasy shrug.
Jon freezes, lips parting subtly, as though he were about to speak. Tim feels his breath catch in his chest, unable to shake himself out of the clouded stupor his mind has fallen into.
In the end, Jon says nothing. Just releases a long, slow breath of air and sits back down, pushing his chair close to his desk. The motion looks heavy, tired, as though it takes far more energy than it should.
“You—you should go,” Jon rasps, and there’s something off about his voice too, though Tim can’t put his finger on why. He can’t cobble together enough of a train of thought to make sense of any of this, all he can think of is that clown ripping Danny apart—
He stumbles out of Jon’s office, sits down at his desk. Stares down at the cheap, fake wood, at the gouges that have marred the otherwise pristine surface. Puts his head in his hands, and tries to will his heart to stop pounding in his chest.
-0-
Martin’s heard things about Jonathan Sims.
He’s not usually the type to pay attention or encourage gossip, as the vivid memories of his classmates tittering cruelly whenever he walked by still leaves a sour taste in his mouth.The problem with the Institute is that the employees get bored pretty easily. Though most would consider academic research into the esoteric and the paranormal to be fairly interesting, it’s still academic research. And the subject content can get to be a bit...repetitive. There’s only so many gruesome statements you can read without thinking, oh great, more meat.
So the employees gossip a lot, and while Martin usually tries to keep his head down and avoid it, it’s difficult not to overhear some things. And from what little he’s heard, he’s...a bit concerned. Rude and unsociable has frequently been mentioned, as have arrogant and unnecessarily finicky, and worst of all, a bit of a stuck-up know-it-all.
Normally he tries not to put too much stock in office gossip—he’s well aware that the grapevine tends to exaggerate one’s most undesirable traits—but if any of it is true, then he might just be in trouble. It was hard enough being a library employee when his boss wasn’t even paying attention most of the time. If Jon is as exacting as they say, it might be enough to expose the fact that Martin has no idea what the fuck he’s doing. And if that happens, then he might get fired, and he can’t get fired, he needs this job, he can barely keep up with his mum’s medical bills as it is—
Calm down, Martin tells himself firmly, pressing his hand against his sternum, as though that will be enough to quell the rising panic. It’s only your first day. Maybe he’s nice, and we’ll actually be good friends.
(With his luck? Yeah, right.)
The Institute looms in the distance, growing closer with every terrified, grudging footstep. A shiver runs up his spine at the sight of its imposing presence, a dark, ugly blot of a building against the backdrop of the iron grey clouds.
If there’s one thing he’s good at though, it’s keeping his head down and muddling through until he’s able to figure out what is actually expected of him. He can twist and fold himself into whatever role they need him to fill, as he has done so many times in the past. Not easily perhaps, but he has always managed. The alternative is untenable, after all.
So he takes a deep breath, and shoves his panic down as deep as possible. Lifts his head and forces a smile onto his face, like a good attitude will be enough to protect him from his boss’s wrath.
He could really do with a cup of tea.
Martin trudges down the stairs, giving the blank walls, the old-fashioned carpet, a dubious look as he does. The Archives themselves are as he remembers it—he’s been down here a couple of times when Gertrude made a request for something specific, but—
He pauses when he notices a man sitting at one of the desks, his face buried in his hands. His shoulders aren’t shaking and his breathing is even, so Martin doesn’t think that he’s crying? He’s just….sitting there, his stillness so perfect it’s almost inhuman.
“Hello?” Martin calls softly, cautiously, shifting his weight to the balls of his feet.
The man looks up, revealing a very handsome face and brown eyes so dark they may as well be black. His cheeks are dry but his eyes are bright and a little wild, and his mouth is pressed into a small, tight line. He doesn’t speak, just keeps watching, blinking dazedly in Martin’s direction. Martin gets the feeling that this person isn’t entirely there at the moment, like a house in which every room is lit, but there are no people inside.
He swallows and shifts nervously back and forth, trying to decide whether or not to call for some backup. Eventually he sets his bag on the floor and shuffles a bit closer. “Um—are you—is everything okay?”
The man blinks rapidly, some semblance of awareness creeping back into his gaze. He shakes his head slowly, pushes his short, gelled hair back from his head. His hands are trembling. “I’m...yeah, I’m fine. It’s—everything’s, it’s…”
But then his gaze lands on something over Martin’s shoulder, and all the color drains out of his face, his mouth shutting with a painful sounding click. Martin quickly spins around, searching for whatever could’ve scared him so much—
There’s someone standing in the doorway of Gertrude’s office.
There are so many things that one normally takes in upon first meeting another person: their hair, their skin color, all the little wrinkles and marks that give you the briefest insight into their life. Martin looks at posture first, tends to check if a person is intentionally looming, or if they’re making themself smaller.
But all Martin can see are the eyes.
There’s—two of them he thinks, but two is such an arbitrary number when the thing you’re applying it to doesn’t ascribe to human values (he’s not sure how he knows that—how does he know that—?). That horrible, terrible gaze is an unerring arrow, all-encompassing, all-consuming, piercing the deepest corners of his mind. It hurts in some distant, nebulous way he’s not even sure he comprehends—
Then he blinks, and the sheer terror, that feeling of the horrible, violating exposure of everything that he is, abruptly snuffs out. What’s left is just a person, wispy and small, his slight frame fairly drowning in a chunky, cable-knit jumper. He’s leaning against his doorframe, his eyes—two big brown ones, rich and unfathomably sad and more than that, human—drinking Martin in, his lips parted in a soundless gasp.
“Um—” Martin glances over his shoulder, and almost leaps out of his skin when a land falls heavily on his shoulder. The man who’d been sitting in the chair is standing just behind him, a strained but polite smile on his face.
“Hi Jon,” the man says, an undercurrent of a warning in his voice.
Martin glances between the two, his confusion growing with every passing moment. This is not what he was expecting when he first came into work today, and the uncertainty makes him feel strange and off-kilter.
The person in the door swallows once, twice, then straightens, one hand still gripping the doorframe like it’s the only thing keeping him upright. When he speaks, his voice is soft, tentative, a little ragged around the edges. “Tim. It’s, um...it’s good to see you.”
“Martin Blackwood, was it?” Tim continues, injecting a bit of cheer into his voice. It takes Martin a moment to realize that he’s being addressed, and he shoots Jon—this is Jonathan Sims?—an uncertain look before nodding slowly. “We’re happy to have you on the team.”
“O-Oh?” Martin squeaks, then grits his teeth and bodily forces his voice back into its normal range. “I’m—um, I’m happy to be here?”
“Good,” Tim says through a grin that looks more like a grimace, giving Martin’s shoulder a friendly pat. The look he shoots Jon is a dark, mistrustful thing. The look Jon gives him back is fragile, vulnerable, that winds the tension in Tim’s shoulders so tight it has to be painful.
Jon’s gaze flickers to Martin, just for a second—and then he disappears into his office, leaving the door cracked behind him.
Tim and Martin stand there for a second, staring at the door. Tim’s still tense as a bowstring, and his grip on Martin’s shoulder is almost uncomfortable. The air in the Archives feels stuffy and too warm, and there’s a strange prickling sensation on the back of Martin’s neck, like he’s being subjected to close scrutiny.
Then Tim sighs and lets go of Martin’s shoulder, a little of the tension bleeding out of him, and without it he looks small, deflated. He goes back to his desk and sits down, booting up his laptop without a word of explanation to Martin.
Martin stares at the back of Tim’s head for a moment, a number of questions clamoring around in his brain—what the fuck was that? What’s wrong with Jon? Why are you so obviously suspicious of him?—but the words won’t come. Breaking the silence feels...sacrilegious, somehow. Every breath of air sticks against the back of his throat.
In the end, he doesn’t say anything either, just sits at his desk and takes out his Institute-issued laptop. Stares blankly at the screen as the machine slowly, laboriously, comes to life.
-0-
Sasha’s not entirely sure how to interpret the tense atmosphere that has descended over the Archives.
The first day she’d arrived a couple of minutes before she was supposed to, prepared to follow Jon’s direction and help him adjust as best she could. (Her feelings about Jon’s promotion...didn’t matter. She didn’t like it, but it wasn’t his fault that Elias was an old-fashioned misogynist.)
But when she’d come down the stairs, Tim and the assistant she didn’t know, Martin, had been seated quietly at their desks. They’d both had the same distant, shell-shocked look on their faces, like they’d received some shattering, horrible news. Sasha had sent Tim a confused look, but he either hadn’t noticed it, or hadn’t wanted to explain.
She hadn’t even seen Jon that first day, just received a polite email asking her to start organizing the statements according to the system which he’d devised.
It’s been almost three days, and nothing has changed. Oh sure, they’ve all started organizing the statements as directed. Tim cracks jokes, Martin tiptoes around them and makes copious amounts of tea. That strange tension that makes the hair on the back of her neck stand up, like the world is holding its breath in anticipation, hasn’t faded though. And while she doesn’t know Martin all that well, she knows that something’s still up with Tim. He seems more subdued than usual, keeps sending uncomfortable looks in the direction of Jon’s office—
—which hasn’t been open since that first day. She hasn’t seen Jon at all either, no matter how early she arrives or how late she stays. The only proof she has that he’s still alive is the polite email she periodically receives, detailing some specific task that he wants for them to do.
Even then, his emails are...odd. She’s not sure how she can tell, but they feel...awkward? Stilted? Like he’s only half-aware of what he’s typing, or like he’s only asking them to do things because he feels like he should, not because he has any actual goal in mind.
Normally she’d be frustrated by this, would complain bitterly to Tim about Elias passing over her for someone who obviously doesn’t properly appreciate the position they’ve been given—except that she knows Jon. He’d made a point to explain the situation to her himself, an apologetic twist tucked into the corner of his mouth. More than that, he’d asked her to follow him to the archives, saying that he wanted the two people he trusted most, her and Tim, to come with him.
He respects her too much not to take this job seriously.
The strangeness of the archives is only emphasized by Jon’s complete and utter lack of presence within it, but she doesn’t—she doesn’t buy that. She doesn’t believe that he’d just suddenly decide not to do the job he’d been so anxious to excel at. 
More damning than anything is Tim’s complete, utter silence regarding Jon’s strange behavior, but whatever he knows about it, he isn’t saying anything. Martin is willing to talk, but he seems to be as lost as she is.
“I—that first day, Jon…” Martin shrugs, shooting a nervous glance toward the door leading to the archives. He’s been spending a lot of time hovering in the break room making tea, not that she can blame him. “He—I mean obviously I don’t know him very well, but he seemed...upset?”
“Upset,” Sasha repeats dubiously.
Martin lets out an exhausted sigh and turns away, waving a dismissive hand. “Look, I’m not entirely sure how to explain it. He just—okay, so, bear with me for a second, but he reminded me of this guy who used to live in my neighborhood.”
Sasha backs off, folding her arms and leaning against the counter. “Okay?”
“There was this little old couple that used to live in my neighborhood. They were—they were really sweet! The husband used to give candy to us younger kids. But um—sometimes you’d see him sitting in the rocking chair on his porch, and it was like...he wasn’t entirely there? Like, he’d just sit there for hours, rocking and staring at nothing. That’s—that’s what Jon’s expression reminded me of.”
Martin gets more animated the more he talks, Sasha notes; his hands move in broad, sweeping gestures, his expression twisting into an expression of extreme concentration. The moment he finishes he deflates again, tucking his hands into his armpits self-consciously, a hedgehog curling protectively in on itself.
“So, yeah,” he finishes eloquently.
“Huh,” Sasha says thoughtfully.
She gets back to her desk. Looks over at Tim, who’s studiously working through a box of statements, his mouth set in a neutral, concentrated frown. Takes a deep breath, letting the taste of dust and old papers sit heavy on her tongue.
Then she opens her laptop and starts looking through the catalog of cursed items that are currently being held in Artifact Storage.
(She doesn’t think that she’ll find anything, but—but just in case.)
-0-
They all get the call the next Monday morning: Elias Bouchard was found dead in his office.
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hella1975 · 2 years
Note
I finally, today, Monday, September 20, 2021, finally read chapter 36--on the dsy chapter 37 has been published. (Yes, I'm being dramatic)
I have an art thing planned for 36, congrats, i haven't been struck with the urge to do art in a long time. Idk when it'll be done though because I have Too Many committments.
Anyway, I want you to know that it was an emotional whiplash between chapter 36's ending author's notes and chapter 37's beginning author's notes. Like--the smiling pictures of Aang falling out of the pocket had me laughing and my dormmates looking at me weirdly.
And then chapter 37 literally starts off with "today in taob we go back to our roots: daddy issues."
My only reaction was "oh shit"
So...let's goooooooo
i honestly might just ban any mention of the a*thor's n*tes in my inbox THEY DONT EXIST HERE IDK WHO YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT IDK WHO WROTE THEM SORRY <3
also omg an art thing? 👀👀👀
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dreamteamspace · 3 years
Note
So this stream I got a bit confused with what was going on with the whole spiel with schlatt and dream, and I dont actually think theres a traitor. However if there was one why not niki ya know? I mean, he kept saying how it would be way more unexpected than eret in the independance war, and literally everyone so far has been thought of as a potential traitor to pogtopia,, except well,, why not niki? She also had this letter to her "dear friend" that sounded like a new turn for her character and idk man why not?
Alright I’m a very texting type of person and you’ve got my started on my hyperfixation here we go-
My thoughts on the whole situation and why I think Fundy is the traitor:
I think from Dream’s perspective: Everything makes sense. I’m HIGHLY certain that Schlatt’s deal, which Dream said is “Something Wilbur and Tommy would never give him”, was that L’Manburg will either cease to exist (become part of the Dream SMP, and we know neither Wilbur not Tommy would ever do that), or that Dream would essentially become leader of it.
That’s why, in this flip situation, if he wins, he wins all of it. This also makes sense, as Dream is 100% alright with Wilbur just blowing it up, too: Because essentially he achieves the very same thing: L’Maburg/Manburg is no more.
Dream is absolutely right that he was never on their side or really on anybody’s side. Dream is his own side. It’s his server. He IS the Dream SMP, in that sense, just like Tommy is the spearhead of the rebellion right now.
I’m also fairly certain Dream will pull a lot more people than they think into this, and I think they ALSO know, in a meta-way, that they won’t be fighting only Schlatt and Dream and one traitor. He’s just letting them wallow in their security, although I have to say he LOVES dipping in his dramatic implications about what he’s doing or will do. In this case, he might’ve managed to keep quiet to let them think they’re safe.
So for Dream: Either they win, and L’Manburg is his/no more, or Wilbur sees they start losing, and L’Manburg is also no more. Honestly? He just has to make Wilbur panic hard enough to hit that button... and then he wins. It would be bad if he loses, though, so I do think he’ll pull together for this. He’s very competitive.
(Lot more juicy theory as to who the traitor is under the cut)
I predict that a good portion of BadboyHalo, Georgenotfound, Sapnap, Punz, potentially also people like Thunder or Alyssa?, are going to join Dream’s side. Sam seems close to the rebellion, but he’s also friends with George and Sapnap, but I just can’t see those two seriously fighting against Dream. If the stakes really are high, they’ll flip over to him, although I also can’t see them convincing Sam.
Most likely, George and Sapnap are just going to stay out of it entirely, and let Sam fight on the side of the rebellion. Maybe the current pet war might change that, though, say if Sapnap develops a new hatred against Tommy or even Sam? (I dont know what the pet war’s at atm but didn’t Sapnap and Sam fight over pets?), he would join in on Dream’s side. George? I have no idea. Most likely he just won’t be there. He doesn’t want to go against Sam (Who provides him with like. Everything), but he also doesn’t wanna fight Dream. IF he fights, though, I’m tempted to say he’d be on Dream’s side, but I’m honestly not up to date enough on his streams to say for certain.
As for the traitor: I actually haven’t seen Niki’s letter (to my great regret, I saw the news float around though), since I’m very focused on watching Tommy and Wilbur’s POVs. Honestly, if it’s Niki? That would be MASSIVELY surprising, and the biggest brain move I’ve ever seen. It’s possible, but I honestly don’t think it’s likely.
They’ve kept their characters fairly consistent, and while this IS kindof meta to say, I don’t think (with how things are atm), that Niki would betray L’Manburg, UNLESS she’s doing a double-agent thing and plans on tricking Dream in the end. That I could potentially see happening.
But knowing that she changed the anthem from Wilbur’s posessive “My L’Manburg” to just “L’Manburg”, that she’s been loyal even when they kinda half left her alone with Schlatt to tax her, and even during the pet wars she never strikes blood, but rather takes hostages and wants a sincere apology... I don’t see it right now. Then again, I don’t watch Niki’s streams on the SMP, so I could be wrong, as I’m not quite familiar with the intricacies of her character on the SMP besides the surface level.
On on hand... I also doubt whether there is a traitor at all, and Dream is just hoping to drive them apart and make sure they don’t get things done as efficiently as they could, because they’re busy pointing fingers at eachother, suspecting eachother, potentially even throwing somebody out once the tension between them snaps.
He needs to win this fight. If he does, he gets EVERYTHING. What they think of him after that point doesn’t matter, so the lie doesn’t matter. They can laugh at him afterwards, but he’ll still have won. I don’t know how many actually highly important details Dream would drop into conversation like that.
Consider, he does have a traitor. Why would he tell them he has one there? Why tell them that they’ll never guess? It just sows chaos in their group, and that’s what he wants. If he DID have one, he might just not say anything.
On the other hand: He might just be dramatic like that honestly. We all know they’re meta-fighting for the next spot in a sad-ist animatic, so Dream could very well be taking a more active role to insert himself into the story and cause some drama. Even if he DOES have a traitor on the inside, saying it still sows chaos. It’s a little risky, but if it really is something they won’t guess, then the chance that they’ll suspect the wrong person might be high enough, and make it worth it.
If he DOES actually have a traitor, my top sus are honestly Fundy, Tubbo, and maybe Ponk. I’m very sure it’s NOT Wilbur, Tommy, Sam, or Quackity.
Ponk doesn’t seem like the type of person to be reliable enough. He’s just kinda in it for the ride, and he’s too quiet to set a focus on. I don’t think Dream even considered him on the side of the rebellion for certain until today. It is, however, still possible. Tommy seems to trust him, and he’s not in deep enough for them to intently interrogate him on his loyalty, cause they know he’s more laid back when it comes to that. He feels only half in the rp to begin with, just wanting to fuck around with everyone. And then, BOOM, he’s actually been playing a massive role this whole time. It’s a little bit of a safe target, too, albeit a little underwhelming.
Tubbo... listen. We all love Tubbo. Tommy loves Tubbo, and we know Tubbo cares greatly for Tommy. Tubbo also seems(?) to care for L’Manburg. But I just....
It’s Tubbo, man. I have no idea. He seemed SO close to ACTUALLY flipping over to Schlatt before the festival. Everyone keeps pushing him around like this innocent tiny kid when he has the biggest third eye out of everyone and is the only one actually doing any work.
Tubbo has stated before that his official motivation is that he just wants peace for everyone. He just doesn’t want to fight and wants to do fun stuff. So of course he sounds horrified at the prospect of having to hunt down Tommy after Tommy was exiled, but happily went along with the festival. He was excited to do his speech. Schlatt actually placed responsability on them for once. He truly did seem happy about that.
It doesn’t matter as much to Tubbo who’s who. What matters is that the fighting preferrably stops, and they all just have a good time. Dream gave the line “I’m very convincing”, so I think he did actually have to convince the traitor, if there is one, to join his side. It wasn’t automatic.
Technically speaking, if L’Manburg is no more, and they’re all part of the Dream SMP again, doesn’t the fighting stop? If there’s no nation to fight over, then there’s no reason to fight. If L’Manburg is no more, then Schlatt has 0 power, and if Dream takes over, he could’ve promised to un-exile Tommy and Wilbur. And then they’re all part of the Dream SMP! No more fighting! Everyone’s on the same side!
Tubbo seems to care less for nations or sides, and much more for people, and for the people around them to be happy. His switch to enthusiasm at Schlatt’s festival came quickly, because many of the people he cared about still partook in it, and he never did hurt Tommy, because he does care about him.
But Tubbo DID say the line “may the festival begin” after his speech, and they knew what that would start. So why? In a way, I think Tubbo waged his options. Who does he care about more? Tommy, to his knowledge, is on Wilbur’s side. He might’ve decided in a moment of uncertainty that Wilbur and Tommy’s opinions of him are more important to them than the opinions of the other people there. Mostly Tommy, because we know those two would die for eachother. They chose Tommy over everyone else at that festival, potentially even over their own motivations, over their own gut.
Fundy, in fact, has MANY reasons to be the traitor, but isn’t quite obvious in that sense. They thought he was a traitor, actually, but once he showed them his diary, he essentially convinced all of them very certainly that he’s not the traitor, and they believed him. Dream joined the call later, so it’s possible he heard that part or Fundy told him about it (They’ve all been known to listen in on convos sometimes to know whats going in. They have to in order to build a good story line.)
Fundy has all the reasons. Reason number one, to me, is Fundywastaken. It’s canon in the Dream SMP lore, they just surprisingly haven’t done anything with it. During the independance war, that wasn’t a thing yet, and since they ARE a thing in canon now... they’ve never actually fought eachother. In fact, as things are now? We’re EXPECTING to see Dream fight his canon fiancé. Fundy officially joined the fight when Tommy asked him, confirming that they can count on him and that he will fight. We know for certain that Dream will fight.
If Fundy isn’t the traitor and doesn’t become one, then Dream and Fundy are inevitably meeting in battle on the 16th.
Consider his storyline: We’ve all been highly expecting Fundy to either punch Wilbur in the face or at LEAST be dissapointed in him or SOMETHING. He hasn’t, as far as I’m aware. He’s just standing there near him, very very quietly, giving a firm but quiet “yes” when Tommy asked him if they could count on him.
Fundy hasn’t expressed much to Wilbur at all, despite heving been left alone with Schlatt by him, despite how much he deserves to be angry at him for being patronized and not trusted with anything.
And, y’know... He’s officially Dream’s fiancé. The others don’t seem to know yet, and I don’t know how many people do know or not. It’s possible they just don’t know, and of course Dream wouldn’t tell them anything, not even tell anyone, this close before a fight. Dream might not even tell his close allies out of fear that the information could spread or that they could turn on him.
So honestly... Fundy seems the most likely for me to be the traitor, especially because there’s been plenty of foreshadowing for it, there’s a good setup, he has good reasons, and it wouldn’t seem like a cheap plottwist, but rather a gradual change.
Not to mention that meta-wise, Fundy has been actively involved in the rp and been dropping some pretty good lines himself. This isn’t something that Dream would have some non-rping person do.
I’m also kindof sure it’s not Technoblade, because Dream laughed it off and half-indicated that it is (Tommy: “I bet it’s Technoblade” Dream, cracking up: “I didn’t say that, you said that”), because he profits from doing so. He profits from them thinking Technoblade is the traitor. And also I really, really don’t think Techno would team up with Dream in this rp. Then again, Dream recently proclaimed to be on the side of chaos.... so who truly knows? I’ll definitly be surprised if it’s Techno, but I suppose it is a possibility. I just don’t think Techno can be convinced to much of anything, unless of course all it took was saying “Hey it’s Schlatt and Me against like 6 people so if we want an actual fight for once-” “Finally some bloodshed and war. I’m in”. I mean, I doubt it, but I’m leaving the possibility open.
TLDR: Dream wins if he wins the fight OR if Wilbur blows everything up. The traitor is likely either Fundy, Ponk or Tubbo, and I think there will be more people fighting on Dream’s side than just Schlatt and one traitor.
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Imagine: Being Life long friends with Sam and meeting Bucky unexceptionally when your in the middle of a life crisis
Being Sam Wilson best friend, and his family and your being family friends made your life fun growing up. It was like having a brother- but a brother you could send away too his home when you wanted too be more “girly” and play with his sister Sarah. Growing up with Sam it was a adventure he always got you in trouble. But it made life Fun.
You were one of the billions of people who Blimped. However when you returned. You were stunned too learn your husband Not only remarried but was married too the opposite sex of what you are. And that was a Curve ball you weren’t expecting. You and his new Partner fought for a week over who was the home wrecker. He stated you were since you were whipped from existence, while you said He was. Since you married your dum dum of a husband first. In the end your husband said he wasn’t going back too you.
Honestly you were relieved- you were having issues before you disappeared and you simply said that you wanted your stuff and you would leave... that’s when he informed you that he sold your stuff within a Week of dissapearing and giving your Favorite panda bear teddy bear too the neighbor who had a girl who was now five years old. You were MORE upset about the Teddybear then the marriage, or your stuff being Gone. Mr. P (your trusted companion thru out your life) has been their for you Thur heartbreak, the ups and the down. And you ere heartbroken that he gave up hope so quickly. But Mr. P being gone was the last straw.
luckily the neighbor understood and felt pity that you returned too Nothing and your husband left you for a man. And that you didn’t have a Job anymore. And basically had the cloths on your back and the few pieces of shirts you took from your husband. So they gave you back Mr. P.. who was missing a eye now and smelt of someone else. It didn’t smell like you and it made your return home too your parents depressing.
Sam was gone, he was blimped. Your friend Sarah was left with two little kids as you helped out. But when you got the divorce papers seeing your no good of a husband was claiming abandonment and wanting everything. You snapped. And you went too Europe for the summer.
Traveling, the food, the culture. Yu were Never alone in bed. It was a well needed mental break, No responsibility, No husband, No drama, just a break from reality. Then you returned home too see Sam was back. Captain America was Gone, and your life came crashing back. Fun was over. Time too restart your entire life.. and try too move on with your life.
Sam returned home as you and him had a few beers after work. Talking about life, the Avengers, Europe. (Most stories were glazed over. Mainly because you didn’t want too talk about the string of lovers you left behind in Europe that wasn’t you. You weren’t the sort of person too kiss or tell. Plus Sam was struggling he wasn’t mentioning it out loud but the lost of Tony Stark, and Now Steve he’s close friend in Washington it took a toll on your friend.
you use too ask about the Winter soldier The hot mysteries Killer who just Dissapeared and then was helping the avengers with the battle of basically life. Sam said he was a ass and that he wans’t much. You disagreed saying the mystery man was Hot. Which only made him question your values.
Sneaking over too the Wilson family was a common thing, you always walk right in, and they do vise versa. Today you got in early with a box of donuts from your mom shop you got up at 4 am too bake them as you got inside exhusted from your short shift it was almost eight am. As you got in seeing the boys were playing with a Captain America shield you walked over seeing someone sleeping on the sofa. Stepping over looking at it, ‘Holly crap that looks so real.”
“it is! Uncle Sam brought it over.”
“Shut up!” The youngest handed it too you as you held it. It was lighter then you imagined as you three played with it until you heard a deep voice. “Hey”
The three of you turned seeing the man awake he had a smile on his face as he waved at the three of you as you gasped, “Scatter!” The boys bolted as you put the shield down as you spoke, “Sorry-..” putting the shield down you spoke up, “I’m Y/N... ugh... sorry i walked in on the boys playing with it and- i couldn’t help myself.” He chuckled weakly shifting up as he said No worry as Sam walked into the kitchen.
“Hey Y/N” he reached over kissing your cheek it was a common greeting you both had. Since you were seven. You smield saying hey as he spoke, “what’s going on here? Your face is all red?”
Laughing weakly you shook your head, “Nothing! Nothing hey where is Sarah?”
“Not here- she went too the boat i think.”
You groaned hearing that. You were just at the docks at her boat looking for her- she wasn’t there. “No i was just there-“
“Sorry- oh so you meet?”
Shaking your head, “no- i mean i gave my name. He didn’t give his.”
Sam spoke, “good lets keep it that way.” You rolled your eyes, ‘your a prue gent Sam.” He rolled his eyes as the man chuckled as he spoke ‘I’m Bucky.”
Smiling at him Sam spoke, ‘hey- so.. Don’t mention the shield okay.”
he nudged his head at the shield that was leaning against the wall as you shook your head, “didn’t see a thing.. it’s not the real one is it?”
“yea- long story.”
you gasped gripping his arm, “Will I meet one of the Avengers? If I the Avengers are involved I’m going home too change out of my floured covered shirt.”
“No- No this is just Steve stuff.”
you meet Steve and even commented too Sam (when Steve went home) that if you weren’t married you would drool over Steve But at last.. you were married and couldn’t. But he was Fun too look at.
You nodded your head, “okay. Just- dont break it! With playing with it.”
Bucky grinned hearing that, you soon left as Bucky spoke, “So who’s that?”
“Family friend, she’s the kids godmother. And she’s like a sister so No flirting with her!’
“she’s not your special friend?” Bucky grinned seeing how he kissed her when he arrived as Sam spoke “gross No1 she’s like a sister she’s my best friend growing up she’s sensitive leave her alone.”
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Later that day you arrived too Sarah’s Boat seeing Sam and Bucky were fixing it up for Her. As you walked over too the boat staying on the docks. Staring up at the two. they were having a drink as Bucky noticed you instantly wearing a plaid oversized shirt, some jean shorts that were covered in flour a grey -T shirt under the open plaid shirt and a grey hat. You wore sneaks as he smiled brightly, “hey Y/N.”
Smiling up at him saying Hey as Sam turned seeing you, “Yo Y/N what’s up?”
“where is your sister?! I haven’t seen her all day! It’s a small town!”
Sam rolled his eyes, “if you just carried a Phone you could joint the 21st century and Text her.”
Rolling your eyes at that. You stopped carrying your phone once you return from Europe mainly because you were getting Way too many text’s from the one night stands and everyone you wanted too talk too- you saw all day. You knew you should carry it for security and safety reasons. Plus playing music while you are alone in the morning working at the bakery would be nice. But you just keep forgetting. “I shouldn’t have too! She’s always other three places!”
Sam didn’t have the energy too fight but Bucky asked why you needed her so badly. As you spoke, “oh- Me and Sarah had planned something for tonight and I needed help with something nothing major I’ll keep looking for her-“
“Y/N!”
you all turned seeing Strewart dash over too you saying he had the fireworks . Which made you smile brightly, “seriously? “
“why you need fireworks?” Sam called out as you waved him off saying he would see later. You and Strew dashed off. Bucky couldn’t help but grin seeing you so gleeful.
“Hey- Stop looking at her-‘ Sam spat as Bucky chuckled softly saying okay.
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It took you all day too find Sarah and too Get the “ritual” all set in motion. The Only thing your no good for husband had was your wedding dress. Mainly keep it because it was so exprience and he let he’s new Love wear it for a drag show. (The top was stained with makeup and it was in desperate need of some TLC ) but you got it.
Sarah suggested you just get ride of it. Which was such a marauded response. Get Ride of it? You couldn’t bar the thought of it being worn by anyone else. And the fact your husbands lover wore it. And ruined it. Made you decided too burn it. Too fully start anew.
your mom wasn’t thrilled with that idea. But Sarah was soon convinced espically seeing that the ball gown dress took majority of your closest.
it was her sons idea too attach it too a firecracker and fling it up into the air. And set it off. Which was a perfect idea.. which wasn’t very realistic So instead you figured. Fireworks by the water, and a huge Fire on the beach burning your dress and burning everything you had left of your former life.
Sam didn’t care one way or another that you did all this. He never personally liked your husband. By the time the fireworks were done, the parents went home and Sara’s kids went home which meant she went home. So Sam, Bucky and yu were sitting around the fire having drinks as you watched your dress burn.
“Y/N?” Bucky asked as you looked up too see him As he’s eyes brow frowned looking a t you, “you alright?”
nodding your head weakly you took a big gulp of beer as Sam spoke, “Hey maybe you should slow down.”
Shaking your head as you spoke, “I’m being reborn. Tonight Sammy.. No more stupid husband. i am officially Miss Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N again! I dont feel guilty anymore.”
“what you have too feel guilty for?” Sam said as you shook your head, “it wasn’t working before i dissapeared. Honestly we fought all the time. He was so controlling and demanding. LIke remember when i said that Winter soilder dude was incredibly Hot?” Sam chuckled as Bucky was stunned as he spoke “yea i remember you mentioning it.”
“that Jack ass- got so jealous. And of Steve! He kicked me out one night just because I had lunch with him and you.- that guy was a jackass and who gives up on their love after a week?” taking another drink you looke d at Bucky you were Far passed just a little tipsy. You didn’t care how drunk you got. Sam was here. And you were safe. “Would you give up on me. If we were in love? After a week?”
Bucky took a drink of his beer debuting on his answer mainly because he was worried he was overstepping on something between you and Sam. “No” he finally said as he spoke, “No i wouldn’t..” you nodded your head as you reached over patting his shoulder, “that’s because your a true gentleman!” He chuckled as Sam spoke, “okay.. your clearly drunk if your calling him a gentlemen.”
you laughed as you spoke, “i may be drunk Sir! But i can tell a gentlemen when i see one-“ you got up as you stumbled as Bucky swooped up fast catching you as you grabbed his arms. Feeling the hard metal arm as you chuckled weakly. “Hey you got a metal arm like that incredibly hot guy.” He chuckled as he went too talk but you patted his face, “you know- I told Sam the guy probably didn’t have enough hugs growing up.. you know your suppose too get ten hugs a day? Doctors prove it helps-“ you stumbled again as Bucky spoke, ‘I’m sure that’s it.” You chuckled as Sam got up, “Okay Y/N time too go home.”
“okay.... hey your getting blurry-“ and with that you passed out. Bucky grabbed you before you fell down as Sam sighed, “she’s having a hard time adjusting— I’ll carry her-“
“I got her.. lead the way.”
Sam didn’t argue he iddn’t really want too carry you all the way home.he could do it. But Bucky wouldn’t stugggle as much. Plus he was slightly tipsy and wasn’t sure he could carry you- without dropping you.
Sam let you all into your house. As Bucky carried you too your room. As Sam followed seeing how Odd how careful Bucky was with you. When you settled into your bed you mumbled something as Bucky covered you up As he smiled too himself before turning and leaving with Sam.
Sam watched as they left.
“So she doesn’t knwo about me huh?”
“No- thought i can’t wait too tell her tomorrow” Sam stated as Bucky grinned weakly. He couldn’t wait too see you tomorrow
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