#i got more than i expected so i'm happy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

natelia-aldelliz · 1 year

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Guys... Listen I know I said I'd draw something for valentine's day but I had a bit of a rough week sooooo I'm just going to write it out instead, maybe I'll finish drawing it some day, maybe not. It's behind a show more because it's long.

(also there's talks about having sex but no actual sex, and like, general warnings about Ghost's backstory but it's very vague here).

Soap was hanging around outside, trying to bring himself to do something, anything. But the weather was nice for a February day, and the sun was out, and it was making him feel like a cat basking in the heat.

An arm wrapped itself around his shoulders, a huge body suddenly weighing on him. Ghost.

Soap hummed comfortably. This day was getting better by the minute. Any chill he might have felt from being outside in a tank top out of pure Scottish spite was instantly soothed.

Simon often times saw himself as a cold man, freezing to the touch, hidden behind a layer of ice. A proper little Elsa, Soap almost snorted out loud. The truth was that while yes, his fingers and toes' temperature was sometimes abysmal, especially in bed, the rest of him was the warmest place Johnny had ever been.

"I've got something for you in our room," Ghost whispered against his throat, making Soap shiver.

Simon had begun calling Soap's room theirs a few weeks ago and Johnny couldn't have enough of it. He was so in love it genuinely hurt sometimes to restrain himself from squeezing him to death.

"Is that so?" he purrs, knowing how Ghost likes that. If this day didn't end in sex he'd be very surprised. He'd long learned to recognize when Simon wanted sex and when he didn't, and the way he squeezed his pec in response to his voice was a very easy tell.

But then again Simon was way less subtle than he thought he was.

They made their way back to their room, and there it was, a repurposed shoebox, badly wrapped with cheap wrapping paper. Johnny couldn't be more excited, he had never received any gift from a significant other. To be fair he adored gifting but always felt awkward receiving.

But this was Simon. Something that Simon had chosen to give him.

He sat on the bed, leaving enough space behind him for Ghost to sit there so he could use him as a very comfortable backrest. When he did, he grabbed the gift and began opening it.

He knew that Ghost liked to tear the wrapping paper, liked the sound of it and liked tearing it into the smallest pieces possible after, but he himself loved carefully unwrapping it and folding it flat so he could later maybe do an origami with it or put a piece in his journal. Probably both.

This one was full of tape but he still very much enjoyed himself, considered it a challenge. He enjoyed the chase, wanted to drag it on. Ghost huffed impatiently behind him, a bit tense, probably nervous.

Inside the box was a weird old fashioned clunky thing. It was bright red, looked slightly like binoculars, definitely from the 70's, with a wheel of tiny pictures wedged in the top of it. Memories hit him all at once.

"Oh my god ah remember, my Ma had one of these when ah was a child! My sister and I loved it, it had pretty landscapes in!"

He put it against his eyes, excited to see what this one came with. At his biggest surprise, it was a picture of them. Simon had customised it.

The picture showed the back of himself a bit further away from the camera, pointing at something while in full gear, in a dilapidated town, Ghost's face in the foreground looking at the camera. It looked like Soap was talking to someone, but that person was cut by the framing.

"Wait, ah remember that mission, it's when ah saved Gaz from a landmine just to be shot seconds later," he laughed. "ah spent two fucking weeks in the hospital, ah was miserable. Ye kept joking ah should hiv left Gaz explode while staring at him, he was convinced ye actually wanted him dead!"

Then the next picture was indeed him in his hospital bed, unconscious but the state of his injuries told him he was probably just sleeping at least a few days after his admission, his life no longer in danger. In this one, Ghost was sleeping too, head in his elbow near Soap's head and his other hand holding Soap's hand.

"Who took this one?" Soap asked, moved by the tenderness of Ghost's hold on him in the picture. It would have been right after Johnny had admitted to maybe liking him more than friends, before they were officially dating.

"The hospital one?"

Soap hummed.

"Price did. Said it was for blackmail. Should have seen him, he looked like his child had just married the person of their dreams and had ridden off into a rainbow on a unicorn or some shit. Old man's sentimental as fuck, but I didn't call him on his bullshit, he's already old, that's punishment enough."

Soap giggled in response. The next few pictures were all of them together but each time he was either turning his back or asleep.

"Why the fuck am ah never looking at the camera?" he whined. He wanted some cute couple pictures, dammit!

"Couldn't have you suspecting what I was planning," Simon said, kissing his shoulder soothingly. Only then Soap noticed that he had taken his mask off at some point and turned to ask for a proper kiss, which he immediately got.

"Keep going, there's more pictures," Simon whispered against his lips when he tried to turn around to kiss him some more. His pouting only got him a smirk in response, so he got comfortable again and brought the slide viewer back against his eyes.

He was happy he did. The next picture waiting for him was just Simon in the mirror, almost in full gear, but with one gloveless hand dragging his trousers down so the camera could see the bottom of his stomach, follow along his happy trail and reaching the very top of his pubic hair. The picture cut of his head, but he could see that his mouth was uncovered and he was holding the glove with his teeth.

Soap groaned. "Steaming Jesus, love, you're so hot."

He felt Simon hide his face in the back of his neck, warmer than usual, and chuckled a bit. He loved him so fucking much.

There were four more pictures of Simon, in various suggestive poses and states of undress, some almost showing his cock but never quite committing, making Johnny feel like he was being teased.

He was getting hard though and so ready to be done with the pictures and access the real thing. But Simon was still tense behind him. In fact, he had only gotten tenser and tenser with each click.

Soap was unsure why. They never had a problem with their sexual life, Simon had already changed his mind about having sex after starting and Soap had absolutely no problem with that, was glad to hug him instead and reassure him when he had tried to apologize.

Simon knew that there was no pressure, ever, to have sex. Hell, Johnny would still be happy even if Simon decided that he never wanted to have sex again, and he had made sure to make Simon understand that.

Then he got to the last picture and immediately understood.

It wasn't a picture of either of them, just a little bit of paper, with a few words written in Ghost's awful handwriting.

Just a few words that made Johnny drop the viewer on the covers and turn around to grab Simon's face, worriedly looking in his eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asked, looking for any trace of Simon forcing himself. "Baby, ah'm happy to bottom for the rest of mah life, there's no pressure, okay?"

Simon looked at him with warmth in his eyes and his cheeks completely red, a wrapping bow added on top of his head. "I know," he said simply. "I just want to. I don't want to be haunted by memories anymore. I used to like it, and I want to like it again. With you. Just.... Be gentle, okay?"

Johnny kissed his forehead. "Ah dinnae think ah ken how no tae be gentle with ye, love."

#cod mw2 #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #ghostsoap #soapghost #listen i'm sure there are romantic people somewhere who think it's valentine's day everyday so how late can that be #to be fair i am terrible at deadlines i don't know why i keep giving them to myself cause i soon as i do i know i'm never doing the thing #i've also burnt out my drawing capacities for now so probably expect more writing than drawing for a bit while my poor tiny brain recovers #if anyone is wondering yes soap forgot it was valentine's day #not because he forgot about it - he just forgot to track the days and didn't know they were the 14th he had a gift ready tho #he got ghost a chocolate tablet that ghost had once complained about not being able to find anymore that's actually just me complaining irl #that my supermarket doesn't seem to have white chocolate tablets with puffed rice inside like they did when i was a child #i have no idea how that applies to anywhere else lmao maybe other supermarkets have them but i hate going to supermarkets i don't know #anyway lmao sorry my love language is ranting #soap doesn't generally like receiving gifts because he feels like he doesn't deserve them like he didn't have to work for them #and so he feels guilty when he gets one but he hasn't told anyone about that #he was happy there but if ghost gives him ''too many'' gifts he's gonna start feeling bad bc he has just as much issues as everyone else #just hides them better

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plulp · 8 months

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guys i'm so sorry i write so much i promise i'm trying to get better at it 😣 i just have so much to say all the time but i promise i'll try to tone it down since i don't want to clutter your dashes

#germaphone #i feel so bad i write 15 page essays every time i sit down to talk about something #it's insane #sorry my tags are just whole blocks of text too #i'm sorry if you ever open them and it's just an entire wall you have to scroll past #i have nothing interesting to say and sorting tags are always at the top #sorry 😰😰😰😰#editing tags so i can talk MORE LMAO:#i also feel a little silly celebrating 50 followers (now it's way more than that 😰)#because i know it's not a lot but it makes me happy anyways #thanks for everyone who's followed me after #even though i really didn't plan for this to draw any more followers (since i had rbs turned off initially)#it really wasn't my intention to get more people 😰😰#i'll be honest i just wanted everyone who's followed me so far to submit their pcs just so i could thank them personally #since i'm not able to a lot of the time!!!! :( because of my side bloggish nature #but i enjoy seeing more people too :) it makes me happy #OH ALSO the EVERY SQUAD GOT THE post having people see it is driving me CRAZY insane #it's so fucking funny to me genuinely i didn't expect anyone to see it at all since i didn't tag it #i literally just made it because i couldn't get smosh fan out of my mind #smosh fan is the highest tier i could ever give any character

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yeonban · 8 months

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HEIZOU'S BIRTHDAY GIFTS! (We're pretending I answered on time)

@destinywoven asked: It took a little detective work of his own to discover when Heizou’s birthday fell. Perhaps he would have told Cyno if he’d asked, but that would have ruined the fun. And the surprise.

By pulling more than his fair share of very difficult strings that involved weeks of negotiations, bartering and a little bit of intimidation, Cyno has managed to secure something special; a Matra-approved detective licence. Though he would have to liaise with the Matra (something Cyno would, naturally, see to personally), with this licence in hand, Heizou would be free to conduct and pursue cases in Sumeru whenever he saw fit. This, of course, included permanent access to accommodation whenever he visited the nation, all expenses covered by the General Mahamatra himself.

All that’s left is to deliver the somewhat ambitious gift.

Nervousness is not an emotion Cyno experiences frequently, but he feels the stirrings of it now as he stands stiffly at the edge of the dock overlooking the newly arrived ship from Inazuma, his gift hidden away in an envelope behind his back. For a brief moment, Cyno contemplates stuffing the envelope back into his satchel and pretending nothing had happened. What if it’s too much? Too presumptuous? Is he overstepping a line that should not be crossed? All those questions and more swirl inside his head, but are soon silenced as he spots Heizou jogging down the gangplank.

Just the sight of him is enough to quell the restless storm within him; he’ll follow through with his plan, no matter the consequences. His decision made, Cyno relaxes his shoulders, lips curling into a small smile as he takes a short step towards his partner.

“ Aboat time you washed into shore, ” He delivers the poor pun (he’s saving his best for later) with a straight face, drawing his arm from behind his back to hold out the envelope to Heizou. “ For you. Happy birthday. ”

The journey from Inazuma to Sumeru remains surreal to someone as unused to the sight of the ocean entirely encompassing his surroundings as Heizou is even after the dozenth time partaking in it - the endless blue offering him a sense of peace (there are no constraints in the middle of nowhere, no fatal dangers, no murderous creatures, no whimsical lightning strikes to be cautious of) but there is also far too much idle time on his hands to spend within the confines of his mind, faced with naught but the low murmur of the passing waves and the widespread freedom to think of anything and everything without worry of interruption.

Typically, the silence aids in Heizou's endeavors of planning the key points of his trip or cracking ancient yet unsolved cases as a side hobby, but today the silence feels beyond lonely, suffocating rather, as though the detective has found himself underneath the waves rather than above them. It's a common occurrence for his mood to drop as soon as his birthday rolls around, particularly so when he cannot find relief in hiding behind orchestrated distractions to pass the time until his birthday is no more, and a part of him wonders whether it'd have been for the better to schedule this trip for another time, or whether it'd have been simpler on him to extend an offer to someone to join him on the trip.

A hollow laugh escapes at the idea, one hand reaching to touch the stanchion while the redhead gazes towards the horizon. Neither could've worked, for Sara has granted him time off with his special day in mind (an awfully sensible thing of her to do, and frankly Heizou isn't sure how to feel about it) and there isn't anyone he wishes to bother with a request as inane as "spend some time with me" when everyone he knows is leading busy lives that could do without his extra interference. Kazuha isn't there anyway, and Shinobu is busy with interviews... nevermind his family. When was the last time he has even seen any of them, other than his cousin? When was the last time they had even cared to spend his birthday with him, or to gift him anything that wasn't meant for his future as the dojo's owner?

A fleeting pang of his heart ensues at the rather pathetic realization (there is no one else he can deem a friend in the land he's lived all his life, nor do his blood ties care about his existence beyond their own reputation), but an abrupt & rough inhale of air followed by a longwinded exhale (a tested & tried method) breaks the detective out of the depressive slope he may have otherwise found himself sliding down on, and Heizou attempts to refocus his attention onto something better suited for his precious time than brooding. That isn't like him, after all (he never allows it to be).

Although with far more effort than usually required, the hours-long voyage ends without a hitch. Little progress has been made in any of the cases he's tried to piece together along the way, and his mental state hasn't quite recovered from what it has been like ever since the day has started, but resiliently as ever, Heizou finds himself determined to banish the lows and concentrate on the highs as the brief turbulence heralds the ship's arrival in Sumeru. The fact alone seems to brighten the detective's spirits by a smidgen, both as a promise to soon meet with his dear friend, and as a welcoming of distractions sure to come in the shape of the city's hustle and bustle.

Perhaps the sudden wave of excitement at the prospect is what brings some spring to Heizou's steps, but he grows slightly more energized than he'd been until that point, vibrantly making his way onto the docks. It certainly helps that an overly familiar head of white hair also pops into view as soon as he glances in Sumeru's direction, and Heizou cannot help the fond chuckle that escapes him at both at the sight itself and at the very much expected pun that greets him. He's heard better ones before, but Cyno's expressionless way of uttering every joke never fails to bring a smile onto his face, nor does the other's mere presence ever fail to uplift his mood.

It's such a simple thing, and yet Heizou already feels much better than he has all day. ❛ I was wondering what joke you'd be starting today off with. If only my friends from back home knew I have the privilege of hearing puns like these every time I visit Sumeru, they'd be envious for shore. ❜ A warmer smile stretches on his features after replying in kind (a habit he may well fall into in Inazuma too if left unchecked) and for a moment Heizou contemplates opening his mouth again, to either talk about his trip or to inquire about where his accommodations are this time around, or perhaps even to invite Cyno for lunch.

However, the unexpected birthday wish that leaves Cyno's mouth next knocks the air out of Heizou's lungs, his cheerful persona breaking apart for a fleeting moment while his smile subconsciously wavers and his eyes widen in response. There are many emotions swirling through him all at once (shock, confusion, disbelief), plenty of which must have made their way onto the surface as well, and even though verdants manage to glance down at the gift and understand that he isn't imagining it, the redhead remains at a loss (for words, and for what to think of any of this). ❛ ......You... ❜ -knew? ❛ I... ❜ -don't believe I've ever told you when my birthday is.

The lack of cohesion in any of his attempts to speak prompts Heizou to not speak at all, the temporary silence growing fairly awkward while he works on gluing himself back together into a more presentable self. It's with great effort that he manages to smile brightly again (although this time around it tethers on the falser side than the genuine one he'd worn before), brushing off his initial reaction to the gift as simply being shocked by the surprise rather than owning a deep distaste for his birthday & a heavy unfamiliarity to being thought of in such a manner.

How is he meant to readily accept this as reality when no one else has ever put nearly as much effort into celebrating his birthday in all the years he can remember? ❛ You sure know how to leave a man speechless, Cyno. ❜ A laugh, practiced enough to not sound as broken as he feels, and Heizou gracefully extends a hand to welcome and accept the gift. ❛ Do you mind if I open it now, or should I leave it for later? ❜ His tone is upbeat, a stark contrast to the brief accident from moments prior.

Ever so slowly, curiosity peeks its way onto the fray, driving the detective to want to know what gift the other could've spent his resources on with him in mind - though truth be told, Heizou considers himself unable to be disappointed even if nothing but a single coupon lies inside the envelope (the thought alone... the endeavor of finding out when his birthday is in spite of his never mentioning it... the act of gifting him something, anything - that is more than enough for him to forever be grateful to Cyno for).

Heizou's gaze is attentive to every detail on Cyno's face as he waits for an affirmation or a denial to his subtle request (not wishing to impose - especially not now after forcing his friend to watch the sorry sight that constituted his initial reaction to a gift even existing in the first place) and only once he receives the okay for it does he deftly open the envelope, eyes carefully reading the words written on the license he finds inside.

For a second time, Heizou's eyes widen as he forgos the act of breathing entirely, certain that he must be reading something wrong, or failing to pick up on something between the lines. More conscientiously than before, he blinks and rereads it from the top to the bottom, diligently making sure not to gloss over a single word - and yet the result is the same as it had been the first time. The "detective license" words seem to stare back at him alongside the nation the license has been issued by & for, and this is one of the few times in his life that Heizou can attest to an out of body sensation (the first one ever when the occasion that prompted it is happy rather than tragic). "Shikanoin Heizou"... a detective license meant for him, in a nation that he has done little to deserve something this grand? Not to mention how hard it is to obtain one even after proving one's worth---

Inhaling just enough air to keep his body from ceasing to function, Heizou's gaze lifts to stare into Cyno's eyes in a silent query, a plea to tell him now if he's misunderstanding something or interpreting this poorly, but no such negative answer comes, and the reality of it all suddenly hits Heizou akin to a wave hitting a capsizing ship in a stormy night. But this is no stormy night, it's the brightest day he can recall on ever having; and this is no drowning feeling as much as it is the feeling of finally breathing again after having previously been submerged. He opens his mouth to say something - a thank you to express his gratitude, a question from the myriad that are circling in his mind, an anything that might escape him in reply really, but a salty taste finds itself on his tongue, and only after glancing down at the odd drop of water on the license does Heizou realize he's crying.

A low gasp accompanies his realization and the redhead has half a mind to wipe his tears on the back of his hand and try to regain his composure before thanking & reassuring Cyno that these are happy tears rather than sad ones, but instead he glances at his friend again, and the worried expression he's met with only warms his heart further, softening and making it beat even faster than before (to think that Cyno is worrying about him now... even though he's been nothing but a rude mess in the face of a heartfelt gift the other must've been through hellish trials to obtain... it feels almost wrong of him to be as happy about it as he is).

Perhaps he should follow his usual, trusty logic, but the overflow of emotions has even Teyvat's best detective beat - and Heizou can't stop himself from almost jumping into Cyno's arms, tightly embracing him in an attempt to convey how he feels in a way that words could never manage. ❛ Thank you, Cyno... really... I love it. ❜ Is all he manages to shakily let out against Cyno's skin amid the tears (and he'll have to apologize for those too, once he'll catch his breath) but the soft giggle that follows and the grip he has on the other (which spares not even the air that could've separated their bodies) speak enough about Heizou's mood on their own that they'll hopefully ease the anxious tension his friend must feel by even a bit.

The port is generally busy enough to not warrant just anyone a glance, but this particular sight might be an exception to the unspoken rule - after all, when would anyone ever be able to say they've seen someone (a foreigner, no less) happily embracing the General Mahamatra himself, and being met with no punishment for it, ever again? For once, though, Heizou doesn't care to pay potential bystanders any mind, instead focusing every bit of his attention onto the calming scent of Cyno's hair and the coming to terms he has to do with his newfound circumstances.

❛ You really outdid yourself... ❜ A soft whisper, only for the two of them to hear, much like the rest of Heizou's words. ❛ How did you know it's my birthday today...? And how- how did you manage to issue a detective license for me? I know what I went through to get one back in Inazuma, and that's the place I was born... so I know it couldn't have been easy for you to obtain it... ❜ An acknowledgement Cyno most definitely deserves for everything he's done, and although Heizou has managed to somewhat comprehend this situation, he still cannot believe anyone would go this far for him (of their own volition too).

And for his birthday no less, the one day that has given him more anxiety over the years than even the worst of the cases he's worked on. What a deeply ironic thing, to watch the day he's disliked the most now prove to also be his happiest... His heart steadily tempers as he slightly shifts his head to rest his cheek on Cyno's shoulder, making no move to put distance between them (though allowing Cyno to easily do so if desired), and Heizou glances up at the other with a small, authentic smile, awaiting an answer while remaining partly deep in his own thoughts.

Come to think of it... this is the first honest gift he's received that has even a smidgen to do with his own interests rather than the giver's... isn't it?

#muse: shikanoin heizou.#destinywoven #* shikanoin heizou. / ic.#THYME I AM EATING MY FIST AS WE SPEAK I CANNOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT BELIEVE EITHER OF THEM #Cyno is The sweetest person in the whole universe. no ifs no buts he's THE!!!!!!!!!!! person ever #Him being anxious about whether to give Heizou the gift or not bc he might be overstepping his boundaries if he does...#ONLY FOR HEIZOU TO HAVE THE WORST FIRST REACTION EVER TOO FHSUDSFFJSF Heizou: so shocked that he got to the shadow realm #No bc this took him SO by surprise HE'S NEVER BEEN IN A SITUATION EVEN REMOTELY SIMILAR TO THIS ONE #The sheer shock that Cyno knows when his bday is... the fact that he prepared a GIFT for him on top of it... /when Heizou didn't prompt it/#Shikanoin ''I know other than a genius detective; everyone sees me as a burden'' Heizou: .exe has stopped working.#Also me realizing midway thru that most of his gifts were either not related to him at all (aka his family imposing their wills on him)#or gotten through dishonest means which soured everything (aka his former friend stealing things to gift them to him as kids)...#most of his bday gifts whenever Shinobu or Kazuha were around for his bday were probably meals or new cases they heard about too...#(WHICH HE DOES LOVE but they're not exactly palpable things and they knew about his bday /from/ him so to him they might've felt obligated)#hence Cyno breaking the door and coming in w a DETECTIVE LICENSE made every braincell in Heizou's body stop for maintenance #Sorry to Cyno I bet he must've expected an Entirely different reaction and yet here he is with a sobbing Heizou in his arms ADGHASDSADHSA #THAT SAID HE DEFINITELY ACHIEVED HIS GOAL OF MAKING HEIZOU HAPPY!!!!!!!! Heizou's first /actually/ happy birthday ever I'm going to CRY #He was satisfied w just spending his bday w Cyno bc he's always in a good mood around him but he got So Much More than that...#How are they such an effortlessly perfect match mY HEART...........

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cookies-and-creamless · 11 months

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Balloon Art Day 9

Day 1 - Day 2 - Day 3 - Day 4 - Day 5 - Day 6 - Day 7 - Day 8

37. Toucan - Arthur

This one was pretty tough! A couple of the bubbles comprising his head popped while I was working on him, but I'm proud to say that I was able to get in there and replace them. The final product has one small issue, which is that a pinch twist at the top of his left wing deflated a bit. By the time this happened and I noticed it, I would have had to dismantle both wings to fix it, so I didn't! Luckily, it's only visible from one side, so I just didn't take any pictures of that side. In spite of that one detail, I'm very pleased with how this came out! The base that the yellow ring is supported by was improvised on the spot. The tutorial I was following constructed a base with small round balloons, but I don't have any of those. I could probably refine the base if I iterated the process, but I'm satisfied with what I came up with in the end. It does a fine job of keeping the sculpture upright, after all. In general, I'm extremely proud to have completed this build!

38. Pteranodon - Terry

I originally planned to be done after finishing that toucan, but a friend made a comment about how I should have named him Terry, and that inspired me to make something else to carry that name. For a quick and dirty build, done on a whim because of an offhanded comment, I'm really happy with this! I chose to use three different colors (four, if you count the white balloon used for the eyes) mostly because I didn't want to run out of one particular color too quickly. I figure that since it's unclear exactly what dinosaurs looked like, it's fine for me to take some creative liberties in depicting them. That said, for a decision as thoughtless as that one, the resulting aesthetic is nicer than I had expected. I've made a dinosaur that looks like a sunset! I hope that all of the impulsive decisions I will inevitably make end up being this visually appealing.

#balloon art #I'm so happy with what I did today #this toucan is so big! easily the largest build so far #I was interrupted a couple times while putting him together #and I'll admit that the second time one of the bubbles popped I got scared that the whole thing would fall apart #the fact that I was able to hold it together and replace those bubbles makes me very happy #I don't expect Arthur to age gracefully #the replacements put even more stress on some load-bearing pinch twists #and the fact that one pinch twist has already deflated to less than half of its original size doesn't inspire confidence #but by now everything I made before yesterday has deflated significantly #and I don't mind too much if things fall apart a few days after they're made #they're not meant to last forever #and I take pictures of them for this reason #but it's a bit of a bummer in the case of Arthur #because as he is right now #he makes quite a nice piece of decoration in my living room #but we'll see how long that lasts ^^

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runawaycatwalker · 2 years

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Part 10. Successors in the Sewers

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Description below the cut

Viperion stands at the bottom of the ladder to the sewers.

Viperion: Sass, scales—

A close-up of Viperion’s eyes as he hears something.

Adrien, still sleeping on the ground, jolts awake.

Viperion (voiceover): —wait, who’s there?

Adrien clambers to his feet as he grabs his backpack of cheese and Plagg gets sucked into his ring.

Adrien (under his breath): Plagg, claws out!

Viperion finds Catwalker pleasantly waving at the opening of a sewer tunnel, Catwalker’s still flailing tail being the only sign of how close a call this was.

Viperion: Oh, you must be the new Chat Noir that Ladybug told me about. Catwalker, right?

Catwalker bows to Viperion.

Catwalker: Viperion, your reputation precedes you. Shall we go assist Ladybug with—?

Viperion: We just beat the akuma. I’m just here to—

Catwalker: —To give the miraculous back. Yes, of course.

Catwalker holds up a closed hand as he looks off towards where Viperion came.

Catwalker: If you don't mind, I think I should wait for Ladybug with you. She'll want to hold me accountable for not showing up on time.

Viperion: You already fought one akuma today, Ladybug won’t blame you for missing the second one.

Cut to the image of Ladybug angrily waving her arms and jumping towards Chat Noir, who stubbornly pouts.

Catwalker (voiceover): That's no excuse. Skipping battles was one of the reasons Chat Noir earned Ladybug’s wrath in the events leading up to the first time I ended up with his miraculous. I cannot afford to repeat his mistakes.

Cut back to Viperion folding his arms and leaning against a wall, one eyebrow raised.

Viperion: You don’t have to compare yourself to Chat Noir, you know.

Catwalker: As the one filling his shoes, yes I do.

Viperion puts a hand on Catwalker’s shoulder in camaraderie. Catwalker feigns a “gasp!” at what he supposedly learns.

Viperion: I might know something about what it’s like to replace another hero. Most people don’t know this, but I was actually Ladybug’s second choice to wield the snake miraculous.

Catwalker smiles sincerely at Viperion.

Catwalker: I can’t imagine anyone being a better wielder than you.

Viperion: Thanks for the compliment. But I know who my predecessor was...

Cut to the image of Aspik posing heroically, with the faces of Adrien and Chat Noir on either side.

Viperion (voiceover): ...and he definitely could have been a hero under the right circumstances.

Cut back to Viperion strumming his lyre.

Viperion: I think I had an advantage in my first time loop that my predecessor didn't: Chat Noir wouldn't arrive until after I got the miraculous. The first snake wielder must have been working with an incomplete rhythm section—and it's nearly impossible to get into the groove until all the players are there, you know?

Cut to the image of Aspik frustratedly resetting a time loop.

Viperion (voiceover): But it wasn't his fault that he couldn't figure out how to beat the akuma without Chat Noir. And it wasn't Chat Noir's fault that his civilian identity got in the way of his being a hero. So why should it be your fault that you've hit some logistical hurdles getting here today?

Cut back to Catwalker, forlornly looking at his miraculous.

Catwalker: It's not just that. Even when I am there... it's like I make about as much a difference with saving the day as your predecessor did. It's the same problem: Chat Noir is supposed to be here. But he isn't coming back this time.

Viperion smiles encouragingly as he holds his lyre against his shoulder.

Viperion: If it weren't for my predecessor suggesting me to Ladybug, I wouldn't have become Viperion. And if it weren't for you, Chat Noir would be completely vulnerable to Shadowmoth right now. You both have already made all the difference. And I'm hopeful that you both will prove your worth as heroes yet again.

Catwalker points a finger at Viperion.

Catwalker: I hope you're not thinking of resigning and giving your miraculous back to the other guy.

Viperion: Not at all. I do want him to come back, but something tells me that a different miraculous would be a better fit for him.

Cut the image of Snake Noir wielding both the black cat and snake miraculouses.

Catwalker: But if something ever happens to me? He's still the one I'd trust most to use my miraculous right.

Ladybug comes down the sewer ladder. Viperion waves while Catwalker stands at attention.

Ladybug: Hey, Lu—! Catwalker?? What are you doing down here?

Viperion: Catwalker thought this would be a quiet place to transform, but he didn't know I'd already called dibs.

Catwalker gives an elegant bow.

Catwalker: Ladybug, I apologize for not arriving in time to fight the akuma. It will not happen again.

Ladybug waves her hands about placatingly.

Ladybug: It’s not your fault! I’m the one who said you should go get some sleep!

Viperion cheerfully cups his hand to whisper at a perplexed Catwalker.

Viperion (sotto voce): (Told you she'd understand.)

Ladybug places a reassuring hand on Catwalker’s shoulder. Catwalker stares into Ladybug’s eyes in vulnerable incredulity.

Ladybug: And honestly? I'm just glad you came back at all. I got worried when you didn’t show after... you know... everything with your mom? I thought you might have...

Catwalker’s smile oozes with kindness.

Catwalker: I haven't left. I’ll be by your side as long as you still have need of me.

Ladybug smiles offers her fist out for a fist bump.

Ladybug: I still need you. Oh, and since I had to run out on you before we could do it last time... Pound it?

Ladybug and Catwalker fist bump.

Catwalker: Pound it.

Below is the same image as above, only without text:

#runaway catwalker #catwalker #viperion #ladybug #adrien agreste #aspik #chat noir #snake noir #viperion: little does he know that we both replaced the same guy #catwalker: little does he know that we both replaced the same guy and i am also that guy #sorry this took longer than expected #i started working on this and realized that it might be better to post a different comic first #ultimately decided that i should post this one first #plus i did a bunch of plot reworking #overall i'm happy with what i've got in the works #probably won't try to scar anyone for life for at least another 20 pages #so that should be nice #also i'm retroactively adding textless versions of the comic under the read more since i continue to be terrible at balloon placement #so if that's been an issue for you that should help

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spawnofbhaal · 4 months

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My Rogue Trader brainrot is so bad.

#i didn't expect to be that into it . . . one character creation + prologue later and i was obsessed #i meant to make a character and then wait for a few months while the inevitable owlcat bugs got ironed out #now i'm totally in love with the game #yes it is badly buggy but once those bugs are fixed? amazing game.#i love my character and all the companions and the creepy setting that has more lore than i know what to do with #which as a lore nerd i'm very happy about #there are some annoying mini game things which is typical owlcat but other than that i'm enjoying myself immensely #tbh one of my bg3 disappointments was the lore was so watered down and flatly incorrect at times on simple things #so a game that throws me into dense apparently accurate lore makes me happy

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theheadlessgroom · 5 months

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@beatingheart-bride

"I don't think it's silly at all."

It was completely understandable to him, for her to be a touch nervous-even with how confident he felt in their ability to get away with it, there was no denying that it was an incredibly brazen plan. How many people would be so bold as to spend the evening in the company of their secret lovers, right under the nose of so many people, people who would absolutely lose their minds if they knew the truth...

"They do say that sometimes, the best place to hide is in plain sight," Dorian continued, rubbing his chin as he gave it some thought. "And I think that turn of phrase will prove to be very true tonight: As I said, I believe that everyone will mostly be so busy schmoozing and making nice that their eyes will hardly be on us. I'm sure we'll have to come over and shake hands with Mr. and Mrs. So-and-so who will be at the wedding tomorrow, accept the congrats of Mr. and Mrs. What's-the-name, kiss up to the Something-or-others, but I think we can manage that."

As he listened off these imaginary guests, Dorian flashed her a little smile, in the hopes that his playful names would make her laugh, help her relax a little-humor was oftentimes his way of alleviating stress, taking the edge off, and he hoped it would be the same for Emily as he finished confidently, "We'll go around, roll out the proverbial welcome wagon, perhaps answer a few questions here and there, but overall, I'm sure we'll be able to slip away and spend the evening with those we'd most enjoy it with."

#((i love that idea! without thinking she namedrops something MUCH older than her))#((something that might be more from june and wilhelm's generation; and they express pleasant surprise))#((not expecting someone of her age to be familiar with that-maybe emily's able to wave it off a little))#((as being an 'old soul'; interested in older media as a means of covering for herself?))#((i think she'd defidently have picked up on a lot of pop culture and slang over the years))#((and so i could see those older piece of media/turns of phrase bleeding into her vernacular!))#((honestly; i get it: i'm not up on my modern pop culture and slang!))#((who's the hottest movie star right now? beats me. who's got the hottest album right now? how should i know?))#((i admit that i don't listen to the local yokel radio station as much as i did; i got sirius xm now))#((so i find myself listening to the older music channels; and i watch a lot of older movies))#((more than i do what's in theaters with some exceptions; so that's probably why i'm so lost!))#((also: happy turkey day!))#outofhatboxes #beatingheart-bride #V:Days of Future Past

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whatsagirltoblogabout · 9 months

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I am holding these last six episodes so very gently in my hands. They are the precious final moments in my very first watch-through of White Collar and I want to savour every frame.

#6.01 was a delight as always #rebecca's conclusion was far softer and more compassionate than I expected #she got her moment of true kindness in the end #Mozzie spending a day in Neal's shoes was very intriguing #Neal turning the tables on his captor - while completely expected - was a great deal of fun #always love me some good secret messages and tenuous trust #Peter watching Neal zip line between buildings was cute - he finally got to really see him in action #I'm happy #really happy #this show means so much to me #white collar #episode 6.01

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bibiana112 · 1 year

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Finished Danganronpa Lapse and tbh nobody gets it like I do because every review I've seen wasn't made by someone who's played zero escape Why did Echo do that? ZTD shifting strats that's why! Lyle's canonically a zero escape nerd who brings up the morphogenetic field as a quick joke and is introduced arguing about the funyarinpa, do I think all these references get in the way and that it's a bit underwhelming when this comes unexplained out of nowhere? Absolutely! But it's so clearly an element the creator was inspired by and wanted to include and play with rather than a lazy last minute deal to fix 'plot holes'

#honestly I enjoyed this game a lot and only let myself play because it ties into current hyperfixation but #it #wasn't fun to do the whole shifting thing again felt like it was way too caught up on both it's influences and trying to be it's own thing #at be very same time somehow #I liked it when it for ehat it was though #I found the characters charming to no end but sadly unexplored for the most part #loved Lyle loved Sei and Missy and so many others I want to draw them all so bad (is stranded away from drawing tablet and otherwise busy)#the bad endings inclusion feels weird #when the shifting started I thought for a second that we'd get two different trials depending on our choice which didn't turn out to be it #which I feel would have been a more fun exploration of concept than what we got #it's a free game and it's imoressive for what we got presentation wise I was in love with it begining to end I think the issues are more #at like a conceptual level #decisions that were made that could have used some more passes or even more people's input? not sure but it felt like a personal oc project #which is nice to see but just probably what's not matching expectations since the polish it lacks is in such a story structure kind of way #like the pacing and the order in which new concepts and themes are presented is a bit dissonant #and people's expectations of it being a fangan only exacerbate that slight issue #it was shorter than I expected and while I do think the pacing would have benefited from more time I get how it'd be a big undertaking #I'm overall happy and will go back to get the ending I missed but it mostly feels like there's untapped potential there #which is a great sign that whatever next project the person tackles will be pretty good #and also that I may or may not blorbo out to fill in the gaps #only time will tell though lol #danganronpa lapse

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books-are-my-life-stuff · 2 years

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I am now legally allowed to do this.

#personal #pokemon masters #i used rock slide in attempt to flinch the opposing Ingo #but opposing Emmet was the one who got flinched instead #THEN HE USED RIGHT ON TRACK #MISTAKES WERE MADE #my team's emmet somehow survived the 600 damage sync move thankfully WHEW #never flinch the opposing emmet--that'll backfire so hard #the sc version was surprisingly very smooth--managed to presync it even #sc emmet too strong #this was a lot more fun than i expected! i love this!#this subway masters event is such a blessing #i'm glad to finally be able to experience it #because the initial submas event happened before i started playing #i'm happy to be able to play and experience it

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lieutenant-amuel · 2 years

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Hi, guys! Video requests are closed now. I can't promise sticking to the schedule "one day - one video", but I'll try to get to them next week and make them as quickly as I can.

Thank you everyone for participating and your activity! It really means a lot!

#Personal #Honestly I got much more than I expected and I'm happy about it <3 #Really thank you so much #And for those who are interested I resumed writing my Gabe fic as well <3 #I'm barely home now so this is basically the only thing I can make XD #This is gonna be more about Valerio but I hope it's not a big deal ×)

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justawishaway · 2 years

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I had no idea that acrylic nails could make me so dysphoric that I'd spend a half hour prying them off just to make it stop.

#I got them as a favor to my mom #And I hated every second #The design was pretty but just the feeling of them and how affected I was by the length change was awful #I'm a rather fem presenting person and am comfortable with she most of the time #But I am still genderfluid and not all fem things feel good for me #I like dresses and makeup though I don't like most hairstyling #I've always hated having my nails painted #I have a history of chewing and wiping off the polish within 48 hours bc I hate it so much #I didn't realize that it could make me that dysphoric until it was a little too late #My mom wanted me to get me nails done as a favor to a family friend who is studying cosmetology and needed clients to practice on #She knows how much I hate painting my nails and jokingly asked me how long they were going to last #Admittedly they lasted longer than I expected #I usually experience gender euphoria and that's how I discovered I was genderfluid #I wear and do stuff that makes me happy which tends to be more fem though not always #Makeup and cute socks and flappy jackets and jewelry give me gender euphoria #While I've experienced some mild dysphoria this was a whole other level of discomfort and wrongness #I almost cried when I got the last one off

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disasterlesbianeldritchhorrors · 2 years

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i used to have this dark little au i’d toy around with sometimes. the basic setup went that near the end of the last great time war, the doctor stuffed all their companions in a pocket dimension, timelines and all. they all lived - they had all always lived in this happy little village where nothing ever went wrong, where they could be the people the doctor remembered outside the nightmare the time war turned reality into -

i say i used to have this au, because i’ve since realised that this is basically what the doctor did

#doctor who #the doctor #last great time war #my headcanons #a magician in love #<- that's a ship tag #'in a world without this miracle box - if you could live out your lives and die - would that not be the most wonderful thing?!'#a tiny little bubble universe so much less than its former whole - but there compagnen can be safe and happy #... i'm going to posit that they didn't expect to be inside/exist in this reality for angst purposes #that au is forming a successor atm where the doctor moves all their classic-series companions into the tardis near the end of the war #timelines and all. they just grow up in there #raised by the doctor and a couple of k9s #the warren of corridors in the heart of the tardis is their entire world #anyway this got me onto a train of thought which led to 'no wonder the tardis blowing up destroyed the universe in s5'#'she's the keystone of the entire pocket dimension'#also a huge obvious point of attack which may explain what happened in the day of the doctor - :grabs thumbtacks and string:#could probably make an argument all of nuwho happens inside the tardis actually #or at least the early bits #this pocket dimension's turned out a lot more resilient than i think anyone was expecting #but seriously #there's a strand of dark!doctor stuff that has it so they don't and never have cared about their companions. they're just pets if even that #my dark!doctor stuff goes way way waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay in the other direction #they would (and probably have) tear galactic empires to shreds to see their companions smile #i wanna make a post about this but i'm not sure how i'd structure it

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therealbeachfox · 2 months

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Twenty years ago, February 15th, 2004, I got married for the first time.

It was twenty years earlier than I ever expected to.

To celebrate/comemorate the date, I'm sitting down to write out everything I remember as I remember it. No checking all the pictures I took or all the times I've written about this before. I'm not going to turn to my husband (of twenty years, how the f'ing hell) to remember a detail for me.

This is not a 100% accurate recounting of that first wild weekend in San Francisco. But it -is- a 100% accurate recounting of how I remember it today, twenty years after the fact.

Join me below, if you would.

2004 was an election year, and much like conservatives are whipping up anti-trans hysteria and anti-trans bills and propositions to drive out the vote today, in 2004 it was all anti-gay stuff. Specifically, preventing the evil scourge of same-sex marriage from destroying everything good and decent in the world.

Enter Gavin Newstrom. At the time, he was the newly elected mayor of San Francisco. Despite living next door to the city all my life, I hadn’t even heard of the man until Valentines Day 2004 when he announced that gay marriage was legal in San Francisco and started marrying people at city hall.

It was a political stunt. It was very obviously a political stunt. That shit was illegal, after all. But it was a very sweet political stunt. I still remember the front page photo of two ancient women hugging each other forehead to forehead and crying happy tears.

But it was only going to last for as long as it took for the California legal system to come in and make them knock it off.

The next day, we’re on the phone with an acquaintance, and she casually mentions that she’s surprised the two of us aren’t up at San Francisco getting married with everyone else.

“Everyone else?” Goes I, “I thought they would’ve shut that down already?”

“Oh no!” goes she, “The courts aren’t open until Tuesday. Presidents Day on Monday and all. They’re doing them all weekend long!”

We didn’t know because social media wasn’t a thing yet. I only knew as much about it as I’d read on CNN, and most of the blogs I was following were more focused on what bullshit President George W Bush was up to that day.

"Well shit", me and my man go, "do you wanna?" I mean, it’s a political stunt, it wont really mean anything, but we’re not going to get another chance like this for at least 20 years. Why not?

The next day, Sunday, we get up early. We drive north to the southern-most BART station. We load onto Bay Area Rapid Transit, and rattle back and forth all the way to the San Francisco City Hall stop.

We had slightly miscalculated.

Apparently, demand for marriages was far outstripping the staff they had on hand to process them. Who knew. Everyone who’d gotten turned away Saturday had been given tickets with times to show up Sunday to get their marriages done. My babe and I, we could either wait to see if there was a space that opened up, or come back the next day, Monday.

“Isn’t City Hall closed on Monday?” I asked. “It’s a holiday”

“Oh sure,” they reply, “but people are allowed to volunteer their time to come in and work on stuff anyways. And we have a lot of people who want to volunteer their time to have the marriage licensing offices open tomorrow.”

“Oh cool,” we go, “Backup.”

“Make sure you’re here if you do,” they say, “because the California Supreme Court is back in session Tuesday, and will be reviewing the motion that got filed to shut us down.”

And all this shit is super not-legal, so they’ll totally be shutting us down goes unsaid.

00000

We don’t get in Saturday. We wind up hanging out most of the day, though.

It’s… incredible. I can say, without hyperbole, that I have never experienced so much concentrated joy and happiness and celebration of others’ joy and happiness in all my life before or since. My face literally ached from grinning. Every other minute, a new couple was coming out of City Hall, waving their paperwork to the crowd and cheering and leaping and skipping. Two glorious Latina women in full Mariachi band outfits came out, one in the arms of another. A pair of Jewish boys with their families and Rabbi. One couple managed to get a Just Married convertible arranged complete with tin-cans tied to the bumper to drive off in. More than once I was giving some rice to throw at whoever was coming out next.

At some point in the mid-afternoon, there was a sudden wave of extra cheering from the several hundred of us gathered at the steps, even though no one was coming out. There was a group going up the steps to head inside, with some generic black-haired shiny guy at the front. My not-yet-husband nudged me, “That’s Newsom.” He said, because he knew I was hopeless about matching names and people.

Ooooooh, I go. That explains it. Then I joined in the cheers. He waved and ducked inside.

So dusk is starting to fall. It’s February, so it’s only six or so, but it’s getting dark.

“Should we just try getting in line for tomorrow -now-?” we ask.

“Yeah, I’m afraid that’s not going to be possible.” One of the volunteers tells us. “We’re not allowed to have people hang out overnight like this unless there are facilities for them and security. We’d need Porta-Poties for a thousand people and police patrols and the whole lot, and no one had time to get all that organized. Your best bet is to get home, sleep, and then catch the first BART train up at 5am and keep your fingers crossed.

Monday is the last day to do this, after all.

00000

So we go home. We crash out early. We wake up at 4:00. We drive an hour to hit the BART station. We get the first train up. We arrive at City Hall at 6:30AM.

The line stretches around the entirety of San Francisco City Hall. You could toss a can of Coke from the end of the line to the people who’re up to be first through the doors and not have to worry about cracking it open after.

“Uh.” We go. “What the fuck is -this-?”

So.

Remember why they weren’t going to be able to have people hang out overnight?

Turns out, enough SF cops were willing to volunteer unpaid time to do patrols to cover security. And some anonymous person delivered over a dozen Porta-Poties that’d gotten dropped off around 8 the night before.

It’s 6:30 am, there are almost a thousand people in front of us in line to get this literal once in a lifetime marriage, the last chance we expect to have for at least 15 more years (it was 2004, gay rights were getting shoved back on every front. It was not looking good. We were just happy we lived in California were we at least weren’t likely to loose job protections any time soon.).

Then it starts to rain.

We had not dressed for rain.

00000

Here is how the next six hours go.

We’re in line. Once the doors open at 7am, it will creep forward at a slow crawl. It’s around 7 when someone shows up with garbage bags for everyone. Cut holes for the head and arms and you’ve got a makeshift raincoat! So you’ve got hundreds of gays and lesbians decked out in the nicest shit they could get on short notice wearing trashbags over it.

Everyone is so happy.

Everyone is so nervous/scared/frantic that we wont be able to get through the doors before they close for the day.

People online start making delivery orders.

Coffee and bagels are ordered in bulk and delivered to City Hall for whoever needs it. We get pizza. We get roses. Random people come by who just want to give hugs to people in line because they’re just so happy for us. The tour busses make detours to go past the lines. Chinese tourists lean out with their cameras and shout GOOD LUCK while car horns honk.

A single sad man holding a Bible tries to talk people out of doing this, tells us all we’re sinning and to please don’t. He gives up after an hour. A nun replaces him with a small sign about how this is against God’s will. She leaves after it disintegrates in the rain.

The day before, when it was sunny, there had been a lot of protestors. Including a large Muslim group with their signs about how “Not even DOGS do such things!” Which… Yes they do.

A lot of snide words are said (by me) about how the fact that we’re willing to come out in the rain to do this while they’re not willing to come out in the rain to protest it proves who actually gives an actual shit about the topic.

Time passes. I measure it based on which side of City Hall we’re on. The doors face East. We start on Northside. Coffee and trashbags are delivered when we’re on the North Side. Pizza first starts showing up when we’re on Westside, which is also where I see Bible Man and Nun. Roses are delivered on Southside. And so forth.

00000

We have Line Neighbors.

Ahead of us are a gay couple a decade or two older than us. They’ve been together for eight years. The older one is a school teacher. He has his coat collar up and turns away from any news cameras that come near while we reposition ourselves between the lenses and him. He’s worried about the parents of one of his students seeing him on the news and getting him fired. The younger one will step away to get interviewed on his own later on. They drove down for the weekend once they heard what was going on. They’d started around the same time we did, coming from the Northeast, and are parked in a nearby garage.

The most perky energetic joyful woman I’ve ever met shows up right after we turned the corner to Southside to tackle the younger of the two into a hug. She’s their local friend who’d just gotten their message about what they’re doing and she will NOT be missing this. She is -so- happy for them. Her friends cry on her shoulders at her unconditional joy.

Behind us are a lesbian couple who’d been up in San Francisco to celebrate their 12th anniversary together. “We met here Valentines Day weekend! We live down in San Diego, now, but we like to come up for the weekend because it’s our first love city.”

“Then they announced -this-,” the other one says, “and we can’t leave until we get married. I called work Sunday and told them I calling in sick until Wednesday.”

“I told them why,” her partner says, “I don’t care if they want to give me trouble for it. This is worth it. Fuck them.”

My husband-to-be and I look at each other. We’ve been together for not even two years at this point. Less than two years. Is it right for us to be here? We’re potentially taking a spot from another couple that’d been together longer, who needed it more, who deserved it more.”

“Don’t you fucking dare.” Says the 40-something gay couple in front of us.

“This is as much for you as it is for us!” says the lesbian couple who’ve been together for over a decade behind us.

“You kids are too cute together,” says the gay couple’s friend. “you -have- to. Someday -you’re- going to be the old gay couple that’s been together for years and years, and you deserve to have been married by then.”

We stay in line.

It’s while we’re on the Southside of City Hall, just about to turn the corner to Eastside at long last that we pick up our own companions. A white woman who reminds me an awful lot of my aunt with a four year old black boy riding on her shoulders. “Can we say we’re with you? His uncles are already inside and they’re not letting anyone in who isn’t with a couple right there.” “Of course!” we say.

The kid is so very confused about what all the big deal is, but there’s free pizza and the busses keep driving by and honking, so he’s having a great time.

We pass by a statue of Lincoln with ‘Marriage for All!’ and "Gay Rights are Human Rights!" flags tucked in the crooks of his arms and hanging off his hat.

It’s about noon, noon-thirty when we finally make it through the doors and out of the rain.

They’ve promised that anyone who’s inside when the doors shut will get married. We made it. We’re safe.

We still have a -long- way to go.

00000

They’re trying to fit as many people into City Hall as possible. Partially to get people out of the rain, mostly to get as many people indoors as possible. The line now stretches down into the basement and up side stairs and through hallways I’m not entirely sure the public should ever be given access to. We crawl along slowly but surely.

It’s after we’ve gone through the low-ceiling basement hallways past offices and storage and back up another set of staircases and are going through a back hallway of low-ranked functionary offices that someone comes along handing out the paperwork. “It’s an hour or so until you hit the office, but take the time to fill these out so you don’t have to do it there!”

We spend our time filling out the paperwork against walls, against backs, on stone floors, on books.

We enter one of the public areas, filled with displays and photos of City Hall Demonstrations of years past.

I take pictures of the big black and white photo of the Abraham Lincoln statue holding banners and signs against segregation and for civil rights.

The four year old boy we helped get inside runs past us around this time, chased by a blond haired girl about his own age, both perused by an exhausted looking teenager helplessly begging them to stop running.

Everyone is wet and exhausted and vibrating with anticipation and the building-wide aura of happiness that infuses everything.

The line goes into the marriage office. A dozen people are at the desk, shoulder to shoulder, far more than it was built to have working it at once.

A Sister of Perpetual Indulgence is directing people to city officials the moment they open up. She’s done up in her nun getup with all her makeup on and her beard is fluffed and be-glittered and on point. “Oh, I was here yesterday getting married myself, but today I’m acting as your guide. Number 4 sweeties, and -Congradulatiooooons!-“

The guy behind the counter has been there since six. It’s now 1:30. He’s still giddy with joy. He counts our money. He takes our paperwork, reviews it, stamps it, sends off the parts he needs to, and hands the rest back to us. “Alright, go to the Rotunda, they’ll direct you to someone who’ll do the ceremony. Then, if you want the certificate, they’ll direct you to -that- line.” “Can’t you just mail it to us?” “Normally, yeah, but the moment the courts shut us down, we’re not going to be allowed to.”

We take our paperwork and join the line to the Rotunda.

If you’ve seen James Bond: A View to a Kill, you’ve seen the San Francisco City Hall Rotunda. There are literally a dozen spots set up along the balconies that overlook the open area where marriage officials and witnesses are gathered and are just processing people through as fast as they can.

That’s for the people who didn’t bring their own wedding officials.

There’s a Catholic-adjacent couple there who seem to have brought their entire families -and- the priest on the main steps. They’re doing the whole damn thing. There’s at least one more Rabbi at work, I can’t remember what else. Just that there was a -lot-.

We get directed to the second story, northside. The San Francisco City Treasurer is one of our two witnesses. Our marriage officient is some other elected official I cannot remember for the life of me (and I'm only writing down what I can actively remember, so I can't turn to my husband next to me and ask, but he'll have remembered because that's what he does.)

I have a wilting lily flower tucked into my shirt pocket. My pants have water stains up to the knees. My hair is still wet from the rain, I am blubbering, and I can’t get the ring on my husband’s finger. The picture is a treat, I tell you.

There really isn’t a word for the mix of emotions I had at that time. Complete disbelief that this was reality and was happening. Relief that we’d made it. Awe at how many dozens of people had personally cheered for us along the way and the hundreds to thousands who’d cheered for us generally.

Then we're married.

Then we get in line to get our license.

It’s another hour. This time, the line goes through the higher stories. Then snakes around and goes past the doorway to the mayor’s office.

Mayor Newsom is not in today. And will be having trouble getting into his office on Tuesday because of the absolute barricade of letters and flowers and folded up notes and stuffed animals and City Hall maps with black marked “THANK YOU!”s that have been piled up against it.

We make it to the marriage records office.

I take a picture of my now husband standing in front of a case of the marriage records for 1902-1912. Numerous kids are curled up in corners sleeping. My own memory is spotty. I just know we got the papers, and then we’re done with lines. We get out, we head to the front entrance, and we walk out onto the City Hall steps.

It's almost 3PM.

00000

There are cheers, there’s rice thrown at us, there are hundreds of people celebrating us with unconditional love and joy and I had never before felt the goodness that exists in humanity to such an extent. It’s no longer raining, just a light sprinkle, but there are still no protestors. There’s barely even any news vans.

We make our way through the gauntlet, we get hands shaked, people with signs reading ”Congratulations!” jump up and down for us. We hit the sidewalks, and we begin to limp our way back to the BART station.

I’m at the BART station, we’re waiting for our train back south, and I’m sitting on the ground leaning against a pillar and in danger of falling asleep when a nondescript young man stops in front of me and shuffles his feet nervously. “Hey. I just- I saw you guys, down at City Hall, and I just… I’m so happy for you. I’m so proud of what you could do. I’m- I’m just really glad, glad you could get to do this.”

He shakes my hand, clasps it with both of his and shakes it. I thank him and he smiles and then hurries away as fast as he can without running.

Our train arrives and the trip south passes in a semilucid blur.

We get back to our car and climb in.

It’s 4:30 and we are starving.

There’s a Carls Jr near the station that we stop off at and have our first official meal as a married couple. We sit by the window and watch people walking past and pick out others who are returning from San Francisco. We're all easy to pick out, what with the combination of giddiness and water damage.

We get home about 6-7. We take the dog out for a good long walk after being left alone for two days in a row. We shower. We bundle ourselves up. We bury ourselves in blankets and curl up and just sort of sit adrift in the surrealness of what we’d just done.

We wake up the next day, Tuesday, to read that the California State Supreme Court has rejected the petition to shut down the San Francisco weddings because the paperwork had a misplaced comma that made the meaning of one phrase unclear.

The State Supreme Court would proceed to play similar bureaucratic tricks to drag the process out for nearly a full month before they have nothing left and finally shut down Mayor Newsom’s marriages.

My parents had been out of state at the time at a convention. They were flying into SFO about the same moment we were walking out of City Hall. I apologized to them later for not waiting and my mom all but shook me by the shoulders. “No! No one knew that they’d go on for so long! You did what you needed to do! I’ll just be there for the next one!”

00000

It was just a piece of paper. Legally, it didn’t even hold any weight thirty days later. My philosophy at the time was “marriage really isn’t that important, aside from the legal benefits. It’s just confirming what you already have.”

But maybe it’s just societal weight, or ingrained culture, or something, but it was different after. The way I described it at the time, and I’ve never really come up with a better metaphor is, “It’s like we were both holding onto each other in the middle of the ocean in the middle of a storm. We were keeping each other above water, we were each other’s support. But then we got this piece of paper. And it was like the ground rose up to meet our feet. We were still in an ocean, still in the middle of a storm, but there was a solid foundation beneath our feet. We still supported each other, but there was this other thing that was also keeping our heads above the water.

It was different. It was better. It made things more solid and real.

I am forever grateful for all the forces and all the people who came together to make it possible. It’s been twenty years and we’re still together and still married.

We did a domestic partnership a year later to get the legal paperwork. We’d done a private ceremony with proper rings (not just ones grabbed out of the husband’s collection hours before) before then. And in 2008, we did a legal marriage again.

Rushed. In a hurry. Because there was Proposition 13 to be voted on which would make them all illegal again if it passed.

It did, but we were already married at that point, and they couldn’t negate it that time.

Another few years after that, the Supreme Court finally threw up their hands and said "Fine! It's been legal in places and nothing's caught on fire or been devoured by locusts. It's legal everywhere. Shut up about it!"

And that was that.

00000

When I was in highschool, in the late 90s, I didn’t expect to see legal gay marriage until I was in my 50s. I just couldn’t see how the American public as it was would ever be okay with it.

I never expected to be getting married within five years. I never expected it to be legal nationwide before I’d barely started by 30s. I never thought I’d be in my 40s and it’d be such a non-issue that the conservative rabble rousers would’ve had to move onto other wedge issues altogether.

I never thought that I could introduce another man as my husband and absolutely no one involved would so much as blink.

I never thought I’d live in this world.

And it’s twenty years later today. I wonder how our line buddies are doing. Those babies who were running around the wide open rooms playing tag will have graduated college by now. The kids whose parents the one line-buddy was worried would see him are probably married too now. Some of them to others of the same gender.

I don’t have some greater message to make with all this. Other then, culture can shift suddenly in ways you can’t predict. For good or ill. Mainly this is just me remembering the craziest fucking 36 hours of my life twenty years after the fact and sharing them with all of you.

The future we’re resigned to doesn’t have to be the one we live in. Society can shift faster than you think. The unimaginable of twenty years ago is the baseline reality of today.

And always remember that the people who want to get married will show up by the thousands in rain that none of those who’re against it will brave.

#gay marriage #gay rights #gay history #gay

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