#i get its bc of budget but still

[fatcowboys]

frustrating how fucking. disabling. being disabled is rn. im tired

#migraine buddy helpfully showed me my midas score which puts me in severely disabled bc of my migraines based on their impact #which on one hand was helpful in a sense of like. hey dude. these things fuck you up and have a huge impact and jts a thing #most peiple dont have to deal with. but also was like. god yeah i sure am and also i sure am still working full time and having to just. #work thru them and cope bc i certainly cant afford to have less money #its so fuckin i furiating being disabled in the us. i cant stop working bc then ill loose my healthcare which still costs me so much money #scream. tired. #my PA for nurtec was denied bc my ins wants me to try a diff one first #which is stupid bc like one why do u get to override my dr for your budget. #why does my healthcare need to suffer because youre cheap. you arent living with this shit. #and also the alternatives they suggested are injection based which. is scary for me as someone who used to have a terrible needle phobia #jax is able to help me w them which is good bc i know i cant give myself them (maybe could do the auto injectors but idk) #but its still so. why are u like thia. also it took u so long to deny my PA and im on no preventatives rn waiting for Something #to be approved. ugh. scream.

[lacomandante]

We had a power outage for almost 30 hours and I ended up just writing letters by candle light and reading by the fire. And I will say I have changed my mind about Sharpe's Rifles now that I've finished it: I actually thoroughly enjoyed it, and it's probably one of my favorite Sharpe books. Yes, there's a Teresa shaped hole in it, but even past that I loved the character development, I love how detailed it is, the action is really good, and Vivar is more interesting, I think, than we get in the films. My favorite bit was definitely the end because it throws you for a loop and has a surprise reveal that even shocked me bc I hadn't put two and two together which I really liked- it showed off Sharpe's cleverness and, though he struggled, his ability to lead men and go above and beyond to get the job done. I honestly think I like it more than Eagle, because Sharpe's already established as a good officer in that one, having earned the respect of his men, versus Rifles where there's danger on all sides and you get to see how he earned that respect. Plus I'm a sucker for partisans so I like seeing how Sharpe interacts with his environment and around others outside of the military.

Now I'm just waiting impatiently on the local bookstore to find their copies of Havoc, Fury, and Battle, and I can continue!

#;ooc #(power came back on last night and thank fuck it was REALLY rough without power) #(we lost a lot of food and it was really stressful bc it was estimated it would be another three days before we got power) #(but yes i LOVED Rifles tbh it was so good and i devoured it) #(i really did feel bad for poor little meow meow sharpe) #(he truly earned that title in this book) #(also love his entire leg just being completely out......no no keep the look richard) #(i want to support my local bookstore but its been a month and they still havent found it so im gonna assume they dont have it) #(and honestly i love the book and i love the film. you'll always get more time and development with books) #(and i'll never fault the films for their budget of a shoe string and a paper clip) #(and six men and a dog)

[marsixm]

ofmd cancellation is literally like.... they massacred my boy

#i feel like i could maybe see it coming bc of the s2 budget slash and how keen the writers were to happy ending it #ash is right they did that shit so itd be easier to cancel #but people STILL went crazy for that shit! truly why are they shooting themselves in the foot like this! #america can embrace kiwi acts... please... its 2024... #wild knowing a show truly made in a lab for me could be possible.... but honestly #a show made just for me in a lab WOULD get snuffed out by the bigwigs... its nature #too weird to live too gay to be killed etc etc

[lockedtowers]

seeing ppl in the tags super used to the j/apperwock(y) in b/urton's alice and then getting mad at how 'ugly' the s/yfy version is is absolutely hilarious to me bc the s/yfy version is literally just lifted from the original illustrations

#its like am/erican m/cgee's only he added a few things to it #it originally WAS that ugly #also when they're mad like 'WHY DID THEY NOT ADD THE Y' bc it doesnt have a y #the POEM is j/abberwocky #the CREATURE is the j/abb/erWOCK #wanna say anything abt the a/lice version laugh at the laughability of the C/GI bc like #yes it was 2009 but the c/gi is kind of laughable at times #still good for the time. but laughable. the budget was really noticeable there #or when ppl are like 'they should have just kept b/urtons and left this mess' BITCH S/YFYS WAS FIRST #the similarities are funny bc s/yfy was a whole YEAR before b/urtons came out #and dont get me wrong i like/love b/urtons to a point but #you can't claim they copied one that was still being filmed #when theirs was being released #the trailers were already coming out like omg #its so funny but so wild at the same time that the discourse is #STILL in those tags after all this itme #s/yfy alice was 15 years ago now in abt 6ish months #b/urtons was 14 #it's not even a competition esp when we know d/s doesnt need defense or help w anyhting #lol #tbd #anyways love my ugly ass giant duck lizard #'oh he doesnt look fearsome' no he looks dorky but honestly being almost murdered by a beast that looks like that #that WOULD be terrifying as many can say when you think you're safe bc its dorky looking but then it ends up being the worst #out.

[francy-sketches]

Maybe this is kinda hypocritical of me being an animator and all but. I don’t think animation would be the best way to adapt asoiaf. I think it would most likely come out kinda shit. Sorry

#.txt #ok I had a longass rant in the tags for why I think this but tldr: animation is still expensive theyd still have to cut stuff #yes some things would be easier/cheaper in animation but others. not #also imo there's nothing that outlandish in asoiaf that cant be adapted in live action #‘there’s so many flashy outfits and colors’ yea like there were in real history lol #oh yea also you cant have intricate clothes in 2d animation. and 3d is even more expensive + harder to make it look good #tbh for me the perfect adaptation would be live action with like an infinite budget made by people who aren’t afraid of colors #so unobtainable i guess but also idgaf about getting a 100% accurate adaptation if I’m honest #I’m still a ‘half of got was good’ truther sorry #all of this being said i still think animated asoiaf would be really cool. i just disagree that its the only/best way to adapt it #maybe its just bc i picture it in that stiff flat animeish voltron style lol. its uglyyyy i hate it why does every show look like that

[rigels-nigels]

Girl help I've acquired possibly yet another expensive hobby

#op #2 of them in fact #currently making a frame weaving loom (and by that i mean my dad idk enough about wood working and this wood is too expensive to fuck up) #and getting into mechanical keyboards #i already have a lotta yarn so the real costs rn are the keyboards #which are like at least 100usd a pop #what sucks is that they all seem to be 60% keyboards or tkl's and like. i need my fn and number pad keys pls and thx #debated sacrificing the num pad and getting a seperate one bc wowza these custom boards are absolutely gorgeous but #i am on such a budget and a cheap (cheap!!!) keyboard i found that i quite like is still gonna run me 200cad #if i got a pretty keeb and a seperate numpad i could easily be looking at $500+ like lordy #that's not even counting the switches i want to get (gateron baby kangs which are. $66. I'm assuming in usd bc it doesn't actually say) #anyway debating on whether or not i should order the keyboard now or wait till later cuz like is it even gonna be there later? #so much of this stuff is temporary and u never know #its a 96% keyboard and it has a calculator button!! only other board ive seen with that is my dads maybe 2005 wireless microsoft #so useful tbh #such a pretty board too all things considered #and finding a nice board like that with the numpad is not easy lemme tell ya like i was truly considering a ducky which. #i cant say im quite fond of their logo among other things #i think its more of a cream than white but u cant win em all #hmm to purchase now or to not purchase now‚ that is the question.... i could technically afford it but then #there's ComicCon + cost of supplies and whatnot for opening up my shop which is gonna be probably at least a hundred... #and then i would like to get some nice wool skirts for the winter/now bc pants are of the devil which is gonna be another 100/150 or so... #augh #i think the government should give me more money i think that would be very sexy of them to do #anyway can you believe i went on my phone to find a banana bread recipe then did all this instead? crazy #hashtag adhd life

[cimicherrychanga]

my sisters might get me demonias for my bday yippeeee

#MIGHT. my youngest sib asked abt that yesterday and thought that would b a good idea #but also shed need to talk to my other sister bc theyd buy it Together and its still kinda expensive #i mean theres some boots w those Vibes that i had my eyes on. some off brand but the reviews r rly good... #and if u count shipping too they cap at 50 bucks...... #and i was Struggling to budget that myself #so if they Do get me boots... then i dont have to soend my own money on them.... and all would be good.... #shut up dave

[redrobin-detective]

Normal People on their day off: I can’t wait to relax :)

Me on my day off: I cannot wait to clean the FUck out of my house. I am gonna scrub until the floorboards sing, everything sparkles and not one thing is out of place.

#its the anxiety #also the PTSD of my mother telling me Im a messy person my whole life bc I left one (1) whole sock on the floor #I pretty much do some level of housecleaning every day Im not working #any level of mess Stresses Me Out #like so much #I know theres laundry upstiars and dried dishes on the rack that need putting away #and i have to sit here and be SO Normal about it #like I will get to it when I finish my tea but in the mean time it is going to give me so much psychic damage #Im still Hella Mad over a year later from my mom telling me I needed to budget in a maid bc I'm such a slob #like hi fuck you I havent seen you clean jack shit in 20 years #also Im a normal human who uses and dirties my space #its normal for there to be clutter #I tell myself as I clutch the table and slowly lose my mind over a bit of cheese I accidentally spilled on the floor yesterday and missed

[bitchfitch]

i just got done with my third chiro appointment, and like. I've noticed a significant improvement in terms of how much pain I'm in but I'm also noticing i can't like. stay sitting up. I can sit, which isn't always the case, but the muscles in my back are so loosey goosey/ not responding/ spasming that I keep curling forward until my head is almost pressed to the bed in front of me while I'm sitting cross legged. Don't know what that's about but it's affecting productivity something awful.

#like #i have shockingly good muscle tone considering how little i can move so this isnt a strength issue. #Ish. Like. the thing with eds is that if you have it severe enough your muscles have to pick up the slack for your ligaments #which results in you building way more muscle than you would expect #I cant lift more than 25lbs in like a bag or something without dislocating my elbows/shoulders #but i can bench 180~ and barbell squat my own weight #its just a matter of not pulling on anything #Tbh i think this is just the level of Nonsense that happens when my muscles arnt constantly tense. #my ligament structure isnt sturdy enough to work without that extra reinforcement #Anyways ive needed a back brace since i was 12 but insurance wont pay for it and like fuck am i able to shell out the 20k myself. #Ive looked into corsets but my proportions are so weird that id need a custom pattern #which is Pricey to get from a reputable company. like 2-3k which is better than 20. but still out of reach. #Im not confident enough in my drafting ability to make one myself. #seeing ms.banner. a real and skilled seamstress who knows what shes doing. lay herself out with a bad corset pattern is kinda #a good sign that maybe i an idiot whos sewing experience is stuffed animals and quilts. should not fuck around with my spinal health #I think id be more comfortable doing it myself if there were more mens corset patterns and more examples of how non #lingerie mens corsets are like. meant to work #i dont exactly need bust support. and most women's corsets dont have the shoulder support mens do. and thats like. #the area im most scared about fucking up bc its already a nightmare #tbh when i get the sg shop open im putting all the profits into a savings account and just working hard to get the budget to pay #for a proper corset.

[sensacetionalshady]

#shady rambling #THIS FRIDAY #AURGH #why is college so terrifying #im excited bc i get to learn but also #0 friends 0 family 5 hours away from my family #i have to deal w money myself and budget stuff #i have to ADULT? #WHAT? #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #everyone keeps saying I'll be fine and everyone goes through this at some point buT THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME FEEL BETTER #IM STILL TERRIFIED #its still scary and im so close to clamping up #i know i want this more than anything and i know this will be good for me and i know this is great experience and practice #but that doesn't change the fact that im on the brink of crying and its only tuesday night

[irul]

i’ve just moved to a third friend’s place who’s letting me stay there for a while and their place is on the 3rd floor w no lift and i jus wanna die

#not bc of their house but bc i dont have a house and getting an accessible house is so fucking hard in this city/cuntry on a budget #my friend who cane to drop me helped me up and he’s someone i trust w my life w having access to my body to lift/lean on etc #it’s too triggering and overwhelming to rely on people im not comfortable w having to be touched or held but that is what id have 2 rely on #even though im grateful for their help. #this whole situation is just making me extremely suicidal bc its like if im dead i dont have to go through this #its either that or if i wasn’t disabled #or if i had enough money #or if i hadn’t run away and was still with my family. #as much as i hate them and they fucked me over sm and were insanely ableist and abusive #they were also the ones who met my access needs and kept them in mind in various situations tho sometimes rigid #p

[prapuna]

.

#WHY AM I ONLY THINKING OF THIS ONCE THE SEMESTER HAS ENDED #so the final essay assignment was about culture (esp pop) and all that n i wrote about the impact of technology in local pop culture spaces #BUT. i could've written about the prominent classism issue ive always been mad about #classism exists everywhere and its sucha fucking pain to encounter it in fandom spaces #couldve been a beautiful paper #the scope is very narrow but i think it wouldve been great #as with pop culture a lot of people are in on the bandwagon and the practice is mass & the stream is v fast #and the more successful ppl are almost always the ones who had more money beforehand #low budget creatives are looked down upon especially if their works aren't at the very least groundbreaking #'good' is simply not enough. paying for services is not enough. making your own equipments instead of buying expensive brands is not enough #and man am i fed up with the fucking arguments because ppl are missing the point of like #'if you cant afford to be a creative in local spaces then maybe there are things you should prioritize first' and this alone pains me bcs #yes there are things to prioritize because god forbid ppl like me make art without worrying about tomorrow's meal #and while i believe being a creative shouldnt be this expensive i do understand what they mean. i get it first hand #but this simple of a point still goes over people's head who took it as 'dont create art if you're poor' #'when you've paid a lot on something and some low budget artist comes in with their work getting more attention' #'if youre poor the least you could do is not making it worse by doing art' #ARE THEY HEARING THEMSELVES. #do they not realize what they're essentially saying they dont think poor people should make art #I LIVE IN A SOCIETY WHEREIN MY PURPOSE IS TO SCRAPE BY AND BE AN EXAMPLE OF THE COUNTRY'S ECONOMY #got a little heated there sorry tehee give me $500 #krispeaks #idk if you noticed from my ramblings but it does get tiring to enter fandom spaces full with rich kids whose only problems are fandom drama

[significant-ace-nnoyance]

GUYS GUYS GUYS MY MOM IS FINALLY WATCHINH ST

hehehehehe i just got her to watch a gay monster show that is going to make queer media history and she doesn’t even know it yet

#im so scared she won’t pick up on byler bc she’s the type to not believe me if i tell her about it without her thinking it on her own 😭😭 #but like even i didn’t pick up on it 😭😭😭 i’m hoping if i subtlely point out the heteronormativity she will get it #but the next two years might just be me sitting in pained byler silence 😭😭 #but it’s ok im working on convincing her that this show has a huge budget and everything is intentional and you ‘can’t overanalyze it’😎😎 #also im gonna subtlety point to how cute mike and will are 👀 just prepping her for byler endgame #hopefully i can still watch s5 on my own so i can scream about the gay and not have to experience HomophobiaTM #ahhhhhh i’m so conflicted 😐 i was like you should watch st! but now i feel the urge to gatekeep my lil gay show even though its popular af

[perenlop]

love how indigo and unova both end with ash going “wow, what a fantastic experience” with a full theme song drop as they reminisce on their adventure over the battlefield in the sunset like those weren’t the worst written leagues in the series

#ok done with unova league. thought id do that in a day as i did chores just to get it over with #im glad im now on the n arc which i actually like #ok so now that im all refreshed on the unova league…. yeah still dont know which one is worse #like on one hand. stuff actually happened in the unova league and we got a couple of good battles as opposed to one #we actually see who wins even if ash doesnt battle him. and the overall animation is of course better bc more resources #but on the other hand. knowing that its trying so hard to emulate indigo (which they literally ditched and changed up all the worst ways #that they had handled it) just bc it was nostalgic. even though it makes absolutely no sense for where the characters are at at this point. #idk it kinda makes it feel worse? like indigo was awful and i hated it but at least that has the excuse of being their first try #and having a lower budget and sorta having a decent reason for ash to lose even if its contrived #like. there was a reason they couldnt show too many battles #echoed voice #like by all means indigo’s technically worse but on principle of trying to copy it at all? wtf best wishes #i know bw was a soft reboot at first but i dont see why that meant that they had to try and copy os all the time. it just holds it back #and the league is the perfect example of that. im not saying it had to be this grand epic event where ash is a badass who wins one sided #its even worse bc at this point they were literally dropping some of the os copying so why bring it back at such an awaited arc?? #idk. back to my original question of which is worse? they balance each other out idk #pokeani lb

[nofr1lls]

.

#i think ive been lonelier this year without school forcing me to see my friends five days a week #because this year ive felt like i shouldnt be going out with friends if i havent finished my uni stuff #but theres always work and im always slow and terrible at it #i should be budgeting my time better i guess but #so ive gone to maybe 7 tops social events this entire year and im not feeling good abt it #i dont want to lose my friends #idk #im not feeling good atm bc everybody else is done with uni work and ive still got stuff overdue #ONE thing actually but ive gotten so in my head about it #on top of that im not doing half the amount of physical activity i was before and my body has changed in ways. #i like my job at least #but its been months and i still havent rationalised setting aside time to get actual access to the money ive made lol #which is another reason i havent been going out #idk ive been trapped in a cycle