#i get how it’s supposed to be jokey but some of y’all are starting to take it too far….

[sortasirius]

“Gimme Shelter” and The Bomb

Living in the middle of clown town is always an adventure but they’re recently opened a five star restaurant that’s free to all residents so we’re eatin good lmao.

Wow.  Uh.  Wow.  Lots and lots and lots to unpack here.

This is.........long lmao

I mean.  Should we just talk about some of the *cough cough* married details we’ve got going on?  That picture of Cas from “Tombstone”?  Who took that? Who else COULD have taken that?  Why is it a printed photo that Cas just happens to have?  Why did it look like it was cut in half?

Okay, I also want to talk about the energy between Dean and Cas, and not the energy of two intensely married people.  We haven’t seen them together that much since 15x09 right?  I mean we’ve had bits here and there, but to me something still feels off.  I just can’t help but go back to the unresolved ending of their time in Purgatory (”I have to say something.” “You don’t have to say it, I heard your prayer.”).  It just feels like there’s awkwardness hanging in the air, like when Dean and Sam leave right when Cas gets back, or the way that Dean hangs up on him.  It feels like we’re supposed to be sus, which I most definitely am.  Things aren’t 100% fixed, even though they’d like us to believe that they are.

Baby man Jack?  “Marvelous Marvin the talking teddy, I have one!”

Also just,

“Can we wear matching ties?!”

“Yeah, blue’s a good color on you.”

I CRY.

I think it’s FASCINATING that Rowena is spending her time in Hell making things “boring” for demons, changing things. “People will end up where they belong.”  There is NO WAY that’s throwaway.

“Hello!  Where can I find the Kool Aid.”

Literal king.

There are a lot of ~parallels~ in this episode, a whole lot of callbacks, and not in the jokey oh hey remember that episode.  There are all very deliberate and coded carefully into the dialogue so that even people who watch casually and pay attention will pick up on them.

“We...dated.  Years ago, sort of.  More like we watched a lot of old movies together.”

Ok.

Which, nbd, same exact fucking episode as

Come on guys.  Just like.  Come on.  Davy.  My man.

Good to point out too that Davy Perez also wrote “Tombstone.”

I just want to take a second and appreciate that we at got this Amara this season.  No weird drama between her and Dean, just a literal badass who knows she’s a badass.  Dabb and co are going to save every poorly written character before this is over.

Cas’ fucking speech y’all. 

“I do know what blind faith is.  I used to just follow orders without question, and I did some pretty terrible things.  I would never look beyond the plan.  And then of course when it all came crashing down, I found myself lost.  I didn’t know what my purpose was anymore.  And then one day something changed, something amazing.  I...I guess I found a family.  And I became a father.  And in that, I rediscovered my faith.  And I rediscovered who I am.”

First of all, we deserved to see this from Cas.  We deserve to hear him talk about how much he’s grown, how much he’s changed from the “soldier” in season 4. 

Cas found who he was with Jack, with Sam, with Dean.  He found out he was a Winchester.  His love for others is so palpable this episode, the way he mother hens around Jack, the way he looks at Dean, I just completely adore him, and I loved being able to see him reflect on his own growth.

Okay, moving along to Amara and Dean’s convo...fuck man.  F U C K.

Dean’s pain in this scene.  His pain over Mary, over the lack of choice.  It’s so palpable, and I don’t think anything could have prepared me for Amara’s answer to his “Why?”

“I wanted two things for you, Dean.  I wanted you to see that your mother was just a person.  That the myth that you’d held on to for so long of a better life, a life where she’d lived was just that.  Myth. I wanted you to see that the real, complicated Mary was better than your childhood dream because she was real.  That now is always better than then.  That you could finally start to accept your life.”

“Hm.  And the second thing?”

“I thought having her back would release you.  Put that fire out.  Your anger.  But I guess we both know I failed at that.”

His anger.

His anger through the whole season.

His inability to let go of the anger.

Dean’s anger, his inability to let go, we now know, of course, that his happiness didn’t come from Mary.  He still had the fire, he still couldn’t let go of the anger, the rage.  So what is it?  Not even Amara knows what will bring him peace, she just knows that her solution failed.

And then, as if we needed more parallels to this season:

“I’m furious.  To learn that all my life I’ve been nothing but a hamster in a wheel, stuck in a story.”

If that line sounded familiar to you.  It’s because it is.

It’s not a common phrase, especially since Davy Perez FILLED this episode with callbacks.  We’re in the endgame, nothing is unimportant.

For Dean to bring this line back up, right after Amara tells him that she thought that Mary would bring him peace, that she was wrong in that assumption.  For that line to get brought back up when Dean talks about his anger in that scene with Cas, right in the middle of their breakup, where the whole catalyst of his prayer is about his anger, how he can’t let go of his anger.  How he’s sorry he got so angry at Cas.

Bruh.

And then, as if all of this wasn’t enough.  Jack drops the twist.  That he has to die to kill Chuck and Amara.

It’s his own version of the empty deal.  That isn’t a mistake.  Both are going to come into play, Jack’s deal and Cas’.  Mirrors of each other.

Putting his hand on Cas’ shoulder, telling him his death is not Cas’ choice, but his own.  I think this, this scene is going to come back into play.

And then to end the episode with Cas telling Dean, telling him about Jack’s death. 

“In case something goes wrong and I don’t make it back, there’s something you and Sam need to know.”

So...our fluff episodes are over.

There’s so much in this episode, but what I think bears repeating at the end is Dean’s anger, what will bring him peace, Jack’s impending death, and Cas’ deal.  All of these are going to be our catalysts moving forward.  Dean’s anger arc isn’t over, just as Cas’ deal hasn’t been resolved.  Next week ~seems~ like it’ll be a fluff episode, but I am certain that it won’t be.  There’s gotta be some big to do about what Cas is going to tell Dean.

Idk what to tell y’all other than the volume inside of this clown car is astronomical.

#supernatural #spoilers #spn 15x15 #spn #my meta #destiel

[albatris]

is there romance in atdao or is it all just found famiy vibes? if there is romance im real curious about how peeps would express those kinda feelings

hello hi hello this took me AGES I’m very sorry I kept getting distracted by things such as being asleep

anyway yes thank you for the question! romance? yes, we’ve got some of this going on, sure, though I would count the romance as within the found family c:

I don’t know if you wanted a Ramble™ but this is a topic I can ramble about and I’m in a bit of a rambling mood so you can have a ramble, free of charge, just take it up to the register and have them enter the code “logan this is not what I ordered”

but yeah, your question? about eight vaguely relevant tangents immediately spring to mind! also spoilers?? spoilers after the cut

I really should have formatted this response in a way that puts the super spoiler heavy part at the end but since when have I ever ever in my life made things easy for my dear sweet followers

y’all know what I’m like with spoilers by now 

but yeah, to set the scene, there’s two main romantic......................... situations going on in the story, the first being between Noa and Alice, and the second being between Kai, Tris and Shara. so, the former I would describe as “a legitimate romantic subplot” and the latter I would describe as a character tripping and falling into it by sheer chance and just being like “oh whoops well I guess this is what I’m doing now” which is also extremely valid

Noa and Alice end up not being, like, Confirmed Endgame by the end of the story even though much of the plot looks like it’s heading in that direction, and like...... yeah, in my head, they do end up in a romantic relationship at some point post-story, but I’m not sure on what sort of timeline

during the story itself, it’s established that they do share mutual feelings for each other and this is likely heading towards a romantic relationship, but I think since much of the story sees Noa still trying to find her feet in just, like....... having friends at all, and trusting those friends, and knowing who she is in relation to others on any sort of level, I think near the end of the story she decides that she’s not at a place where she wants to try and figure out a romantic relationship just yet

it’s not a hard no, it’s just a “hey not right now” and a “let’s see what happens later down the track, for now it’s just nice to be around friends” ‘cause even that is just super new territory for her

which I worry will make people feel cheated, but also, I think it’s the ending for this subplot that would make the most sense for where the characters are at and would be the most fitting c:

and secondly there’s like

hm. ok

well, there WAS a vaguely jokey post I made yonks back where I pitched the idea of an ATDAO polyamory ending being just like. Alice who’s dating Noa who’s dating Shara who’s dating Kai who’s dating Tris. and I stand by this being solid as hell. but also, given the ending to Noa’s subplot with Alice, it doesn’t really work in the story canon, n though I think Noa and Shara is a dynamic I really enjoy, it would likely not actually play out in reality :P

which leaves the trio of Shara, Kai and Tris, a trio I’ve always vibed with and had vaguely on my radar as a valid poly ending but for some reason didn’t twig that I could just, like, make it canon and no one can stop me LMAO

but yeah, this one, like I said, it’s not so much aHD whole big subplot, it’s just something that falls into place super casually and is never really brought up beyond “oh is this a thing that’s happening?” “yeah” “cool ok”

I think there’s a brief window as a reader where you might be like “ugh this is gonna be a stupid love triangle or some weird jealousy thing” but then it just ends up being a complete non-issue. there’s basically zero romantic drama for this plotline, Tris and Shara are bros and Kai is dating both of them

n as for your question itself, it depends on whether you mean, like.......... how they would go about expressing to someone else that they have romantic feelings or, like, how they express their affections in a romantic scenario

‘cause for the former, the answer for both Tris and Noa is just.... they don’t

Noa because at the start of the story she views her crush on Alice as a huge fucking inconvenience that’s going to make things messy and complicated, so she just tries to ignore her romantic feelings as hard as she can (obviously this doesn’t last hahaha). but yeah, she’s just very pissed off that she has a crush and doesn’t want to acknowledge it :P she also has no idea how to respond when Alice expresses romantic interest in her, this is all extremely new territory

and Tris because he doesn’t realise he’s even experiencing romantic feelings in the first place?? like. the boy has so much baseline anxiety jitteriness that stuff like, idk, feeling your heart pick up pace, butterflies in the stomach, any kinda social nerves you get around the people you like, etc, he experiences this with Kai and is automatically just like “great now you’re here and I’m having a panic attack can you please leave”

just slaps a label of Bad Vibes onto it then later is like Wait A Minute

but yeah, I think neither of them would be super comfy actually expressing their feelings out loud or making that first move, Noa because she’s super fuckin petty and stubborn and Tris because he’s waaaaaaaay too fuckin socially anxious for that shit are you kidding

in terms of how they express their affections though??

so like. I have to reiterate that I’m aro and ace and I have a lot of difficulty in articulating what makes a romance A Romance, like??? I have relationships that are friendships and relationships that are romantic, but I myself don’t really experience romantic attraction in the way other people do

as such, the way I write characters in their romantic expressions tends to be just an extension of how they act in their friendships? which I think is a pretty ok thing to base a romance off anyway, but like, yeah, romance, this is a mystery to me for the most part, do I look like I know what a romance is

anyway I think once Alice and Noa get a little closer there’s a lot of good-natured ribbing and friendly insults, n since they already had a bit of a rivalry going on beforehand I would imagine this competitive streak doesn’t disappear :P Noa is generally uncomfy with being Openly affectionate and soft with others, so I think there would be a lot of more “indirect” ways she shows this care. I think they have the kind of relationship where from an outside perspective you don’t really get how it’s warm and affectionate, but it’s just ‘cause you don’t know the lingo, right

Tris is just the cheerleader type in all friendly relationships I think, lots of encouragement and hype and compliments and enthusiasm, he’s very excitable and very easily impressed hahahaha. though I think it takes people a while to click that he’s legitimately being 100% earnest and genuine, the constant deadpan does not work super well in his favour

anyway I’m gonna hop back up for a sec so I can cover Shara and Kai real quick

these two are............ a bit more direct with actually verbalising their feelings to people? Shara is a socially anxious type, but also not someone who enjoys beating around the bush, n she generally likes to just speak what’s on her mind and be direct with others whenever she can. Kai just kinda........ I mean, I don’t think they consider romantic affections to be a super big deal? at least in theory? I say in theory ‘cause, like, I think they give the impression that this kind of conversation is just super smooth and easy for them, and on the inside they’re like “it’s really not a big deal it’s just feelings it’s whatever” but they’re still anxious about it and had to hype themself up for like a week before going through with it lmao

but ye, in terms of how they express their affections, they’re both fairly similar. you suddenly will just Not Be Able To Get Rid Of Them, they’ll constantly be hanging around in the same space or dragging you into whatever shenanigans they’ve got going on, I think for both of them their favourite expression of love is just sharing in experiences or sharing the same space, just Being Involved And Around 

a “hey come help me run errands” type or a “I’m gonna hang off the back of your sofa while you’re studying and sometimes slingshot balls of paper at you with a rubber band” type :P

and now I have to go on Another Tangent just ‘cause the subject matter is vaguely relevant and idk where else I’m gonna go on this tangent

there is definitely some part of me that’s still super super fond of the idea of Kai being aro??? and I initially did write them as such, but for the moment this is not something that’s remained canon in text ‘cause I’m a little bitch ‘cause like

Kai would be aro in very much the same way I am, which is to say, they’re a person who is extremely full of love and who has difficulty in differentiating what the step is supposed to be between friendship feelings and romantic feelings, so, someone who may not necessarily “get” what makes a romance a romance or experience any feelings different from a strong friendship, but who is still open to being in a romantic relationship

(the difference between us being that Kai Really Really Likes People and enjoys being close with others as much as possible, where I’m more the awkward standoffish hermit type lmao)

but yeah, I was kinda like. well. despite being a perfectly valid aro person in a romantic relationship myself, if I were a fictional character people would probably call me bad rep HAHAHA. like “yeah they’re apparently aro but they don’t really ACT aro and the author put them in a romantic relationship ://”

and while I think there’s value to be had in fiction in exploring the different ways a person can be aro, I just, like................... thought about the hypothetical future discourse and was just like UGH. I cannot be fucking BOTHERED

I get enough people in real life being like “ok but you’re not REALLY aro like why do you even bother having that label it’s not like it matters in your context” even though I’m the goddamn expert on my own experiences you bastards

lmao

but yeah I think aro Kai is canon in my heart hahahaha. and they may end up articulating some of the same feelings, maybe just not with the label applied, who knows

anyway that’s my rambles done I think! thanks for reading n have a nice night c:

#Anonymous #i started to ramble then i was like #oh man i better keep this short actually and try and get through this quick and then by the end of it i was #back to rambling #it's fine #i would go into more detail abt the relationships themselves but i think. this reply is super lengthy as is :') #i think i have been on some rambles abt shara and kai in the past?? but idk if i could find those to link them lmao #atdao #there's an only tangentially relevant ramble about being aro right at the end #cuz its like. im aro and i feel this in my heart but also #*gestures vaguely* #anyway g'night team

[larriefails]

This new BPH2 post, she really can’t let go of 1D or the past, can she?

The amount of drivel...

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Harry was portrayed as a lothario BEFORE July 2011? By whom? Doing what? He didn’t date anyone until C*roline (sorry, I make one exception for censoring names and that’s for child groomers) in like, November 2011, there were jokes about him liking Madison, the girl from WMYB but that wouldn’t be until August anyway. Articles about various 1D members dating or hooking up with fans were run of the mill, but that was for all of them. Cher Lloyd got linked to literally every member except Louis, and that’s because he had a girlfriend. Harry was seen as flirty and fans joked around about his unfortunate pussygate moment, but clearly, he brought that on himself, and it was after X Factor anyway

The only possible “Harry is a lothario” push she could be talking about is that jokey video where Harry is seen as having overlapping dates with all the girls at boot camp, but it’s obviously tongue in cheek, it finishes with Harry going on a date with Wagner, a 50 something year old Portuguese (?) man. And this was BEFORE the band was put together. Why would Liam, or anyone, have to be seen as a lothario anyway? Confused

Louis and Hannah’s relationship wasn’t “spotlighted” they were just dating... so she was there... and they talked about it on the show I think once, maybe twice. None of the other boys had significant others at the beginning. When Zayn started dating one of the girls from Belle Amie (a girl group that was competing there as well), it was actually spotlighted, same when he dated Rebecca Ferguson

She says “switching 1Direction to One Direction” to seem knowledgeable, it’s hilarious. One Direction’s twitter account was created on October 29th 2010 and it was already stylized “OneDirection,” this is just a “the more you know” bullet point she learned that she decided to throw in there to get more credibility. Anyone that’s been a fan for long already knew this, it was stated as a fact in one of their books, but don’t ask me which one now cuz it’s been 7 years. Anyways, what an important marketing decision, Kati, it surely affected a lot of the outcome of the band that would be known as “1D” by 90% of its fanbase anyway

“But there was no larger strategy until July 2011″

NO SHIT SHERLOCK. U wanna know why? Because they didn’t have music out until August... you really are some fresh brand of stupid, huh. Who would waste money in marketing campaigns months and months before having any music to sell? All of them were heavily involved in social media anyway, and with strategic performances here and there, some interviews, a very well received book, signing days, and several other nuggets, they managed to build a stronger fanbase and a lot of anticipation by the time they released WMYB. There was definitely marketing, but, no, of course there wasn’t an overarching marketing campaign for a band with no music for six months.. Just like there isn’t, idk, a hot air balloon business for cheetahs..

And that’s how she starts.. everything after that is drivel and more and more drivel. Very little of it makes any sort of sense or is backed up by any facts other than her wanting things to be that way

Such as this entire paragraph which has me in fucking stitches

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Listen, I’m sure more older people became fans as the band became more popular, and I’m sure there are some men sprinkled in between, but PROFOUND DEMOGRAPHIC SHIFT? Except Harry and Zayn, who have cultivated an older skewing demographic, the core fan base is STILL 13-18 year old girls. And even Harry and Zayn have large percentages of their fan base in that age group still. She really thinks the tumblr side of fandom is in any way indicative of the larger fandom, it’s fascinating to read someone that’s supposed to be old and wise, who’s a mother and a wife, be so blatantly wrong and so delusional. Not even in the tumblr side of fandom now are the fans mostly older with established careers. That’s just the big Larries, and big Larries are what? 1 in 2,000 One Direction blogs? (and I doubt at least 50% of their “well established careers” are real, but I’m not into doxxing people so I’ll take their word for it)

I almost lost my mind when she called tumblr tinhat wank “objective debate and evidence-based discussion.” OBJECTIVE! O B J E C T I V E? bulletprooflarry, the person that left tumblr for a month when Harry announced his solo career because she had been saying for ages he’d never go solo and couldn’t handle being so OBJECTIVELY wrong, is talking about OBJECTIVE DISCUSSION???? Kati you wouldn’t know what actual objective discussion is if it slapped you repeatedly with something smelly while yelling “I am objective discussion” as a plane writes in the sky “objective discussion is slapping you in the face” and some sirens wailed in the distance

Not even gonna go there with “evidence-based” .. I’m sure ur tag “all the reasons ever needed” filled with cropped and edited gifs of 17 yo Harry and 19 yo Louis looking at each other for 0.03 seconds in slow mo would hold in court very well

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H I L A R I O U S. Never seen before! Novel!!!! Only happening because of “this new smarter fandom with professional experience”! No other tinhat fandom doubts the protagonists of their conspiracy theory handle their social media! That’s just the new smarter fandom filled with professional men and women in 1D. Crisscolfer, Kaylor, Supernatural, Camren, you name it. Any CT mined fandom where social media is used, believes the exact same bullshit, Kati. U R NOT SPECIAL. You’re not smarter. The Larrie fandom didn’t “wise up” it tinhatted up. If you left your conspiracy bubble for three seconds and waltzed into literally any other corner of the entertainment world, you’d see that

After this, she drivels on and on about “pics or it didn’t happen” and shit like that. None of it is special to this fandom, Kati. None of it. What you’re describing is tinhatting. It has nothing to do with “this new smarter fandom.” Unless of course you believe in every other celeb conspiracy theory out there and how all the CT fandoms have also, coincidentally, become “smarter”

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This is equal parts self centered, arrogant, delusional, and wrong. 1D’s team did a ton of things to get new fans and it succeeded largely at it. 1D was one of the largest bands in terms of fanbase in the world. It got away with selling millions upon millions of records and selling out stadiums without getting huge songs. To this day a vast majority of the general public only knows 2 or 3 One Direction songs (WMYB, SOML, some will know Drag Me Down). I think it was too big for the teams it had, for sure, but that’s just logic speaking for itself. What other clients the caliber of 1D did Simon Jones, Modest, or Syco have? The only big fish in the game was Columbia. And at times it definitely showed in a lot of things. But to say that they were playing catch up for five years and had no plan whatsoever, is simply disingenuous. And so self aggrandizing.. Recognizing that they had their failures? Cool. Sitting oatur computer at home and pretending that u kknow better how to handle it? Demented

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You know when you read something that’s so wrong that you don’t even know where to start? Yeah..

You were lied about the band getting back together. One by one they have admitted to it, even if not in so many words. First Zayn said he didn’t even like being in 1D ever. Then Harry refused to ever confirm the band would get back together. You had Niall, Liam, and Louis preaching 18 months/2 years, but that soon changed. Niall got tired of being asked a few months into his promo in 2017, said “idk, man, idk! someday!” and asked not to be asked again. Liam lasted a little longer, but he literally said “ask the others, idk, man, idk!” a few months back. The only one standing is Louis, and I firmly believe it’s simply because he hasn’t done as much promo as Niall and Liam, who must’ve reached the point of exhaustion. His defeated “idk, man, idk” is happenning soon. I can feel it in my bones

There’s no leadership in 1DHQ because there is no 1DHQ because there is no 1D. The band is broken up. Gone. Donezo. There’s no one to steer one topic to the next

It’s not the “lack of leadership” which lead the fans to create “microfandoms.” It’s the fact that every member has gone solo..... that created microfandoms. You’re over 40, Kati, please, for the love of God, stop hanging onto a boyband that’s been dead for four years. This is so pathetic to read. Fans less than half your age cried about their lost band for a few days and got over it. You’re still throwing hissy fits on tumblr and talking about it as if it wasn’t deceased

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Just... no

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Louis DOES NOT have the most hardcore fans inside of 1D. He has the most LARRIES. His fanbase is almost entirely conformed by conspiracy theorists, that’s why it seems so hardcore to you. This is not a positive. As a fan of Louis, I can assure you it is not. This doesn’t translate well into literally anything. Y’all are a nuisance and ruin everything. You’re not fans of Louis, you don’t even LIKE HIM. You despise everything about him and everything he is. Everything he does. All the things that have shaped him. You call everything he says a lie and mock his desperate attempts for you to LISTEN TO HIM. That’s the exact opposite of a hardcore fanbase, you shithead. That’s as fickle as it gets, it can (and does) get lost any second. The smallest of his moves can set y’all off and wipe thousands of you from his ranks. Because none of you like even a little of who he really is. Y’all are gonna leave him sooner or later. It’s just a matter of when, not if. Hardcore my fucking ass

What has Harry done to make older white men think he’s cool? Paint his nails? Wear glitter and flowery suits? Sing about men? Proclaim at every chance he gets that he LOVES his mostly female/young audience? That he thinks they’re amazing and how much he appreciates them? What is it that appeals older white men? All the rainbows in everything he does? The only thing “older white men” might like about Harry is his music and its inspiration, that’s where it starts and where it ends, but everything he’s done and said since he’s gone solo is prone to prejudice them against him. He hasn’t lifted a finger to appeal to them. His team didn’t even push his songs on Adult/Contemporary radios (Niall’s did, but I don’t see you talking about that). Yeah, Hall Of Fame will expose him to that audience as well, but you know who else did Hall Of Fame? Miley Cyrus. Was she trying to appeal to older white men? Was that Jannelle Monae’s goal while inducing Janet Jackson? He’s co chairing the MET Gala in a couple of weeks. How’s that for a white older male audience? Being a Gucci model under Alessandro Michele must’ve helped a lot, I’m sure 🙄

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“If One Direction was going to come back” NO. Next question

[voightsgirl]

crossfire: volume i - chapter four

a/n y’all i’m so sorry this was meant to be up yesterday, but i forgot to change the time on my wifi router and it cut out at 10:30 instead of 11:30 when i went to put it up :( ah well - hopefully this chapter’s worth the wait. also, i’d like to formally introduce you to my original character, avery murray!!! taa-daaa!!    & previous chapters can be found here

☆ avery ☆

“Okay, so what do we know?” Jay posed the question to their Sergeant when he and Erin had returned from the locker room, where they had just about managed to scrub all of the marker from their faces.

“Seventeen year-old Luca Sanchez,” Sergeant Hank Voight growled, slapping a photograph onto the murderboard. “Ran away from his foster placement two months ago. Last night, he winds up with a bullet in his skull. Same as the others. Still waiting on the tox reports to find out if there were traces of cocaine on him, but I’m almost certain that he’s another victim of our guys.”

Jay and Erin looked at each other, not understanding why this information made them have to come into work at seven in the morning on a Saturday.

“Okay,” Erin said slowly. “And have you found a connection between him and our drug ring yet? Or is he like the rest of them?”

They’d been working a drugs trafficking case for the past three months, after a CI of Ollinsky’s had tipped them off about some movement from an old player who hadn’t been heard of in over a decade. Kids had started going missing and being found exactly as Luca had been, but so far, nothing.

Ruzek came running in from the break room. “Sarge, I found the connection between Sanchez and our players. You were right.”

Voight just nodded. Of course he was right. Erin snorted softly to herself, and then at Ruzek’s alarmed expression, coughed to cover it up.

“So there was a lot of red tape to get through over at DCFS, but I sweet talked the lady and managed to get it out of her. Luca Sanchez was taken into care thirteen years ago, after the Feds took down a major drug trafficking operation,” Ruzek explained to Jay and Erin. “Luca’s father, Carlos Sanchez, was snatched, and his mother killed, but his uncle, the ring leader of the operation and Luca’s emergency guardian in case something should happen to his parents, took off. He’s been in the wind ever since. You have one guess as to who this uncle is.”

Jay raised his hand.

“No way,” Burgess breathed. She and Atwater had joined them by now and were standing, opened mouthed, watching Ruzek’s big reveal and listening intently.

“Barack Obama,” Ollinsky suggested, in his completely serious voice. They all turned to stare at him. Of course, they knew he was joking, but the rare emergence of their co-worker’s sense of humor caught them off guard.

“Diego Perez,” Voight grunted. “Finally.”

They stood in silence for a brief moment, trying to comprehend the fact that they had finally, after months of trying to find a connection between these dead kids and Perez’s reappearance, found something to help them.

“So why kill your own nephew?” Erin pondered aloud.

“Yeah, if he was so keen on keeping this operation away from his family and away from any ties to him, surely you wouldn’t draw attention to yourself like that?” Atwater agreed.

“Well, I think it’s safe to assume that we won’t find drug residue on Luca’s body,” Ollinsky murmured quietly. “I mean, normally Perez targets the rich white kids to do his dirty work for him. Changing MO to popping your nephew doesn’t strike me as him just mixing things up a bit. Luca was killed to cover something up.”

Voight nodded. “Or else it was a revenge hit. Okay, Halstead, Lindsay – you go to the morgue and see what Dr Robbins has for us.”

They nodded and grabbed their jackets, heading down the stairs and out of the district – just in time to miss Sergeant Platt come running up the stairs with a fourteen year old girl.

☆

“So, how are you feeling after last night?” Jay asked her when they were back in the car and heading downtown to the morgue to pick up the results of Luca’s autopsy.

“Hmm?” Erin mumbled, lost in thought. “Sorry, I wasn’t really listening. What was that?”

“How was last night?”

She smiled softly to herself and met Jay’s eyes in the rear view mirror. “It was fun, I guess.”

“You guess?” he nudged her slightly. “I seem to remember the kid absolutely worshipping you!”

Erin laughed slightly at how completely dorky Jay was acting. “Yeah, I suppose I was pretty awesome.”

“You’re gonna make an amazing mom one day, Erin,” he said quietly, all the jokey humor suddenly dissipating from his voice and being replaced with the highest sincerity and, well, love. It was true, seeing her playing with Owen last night had just made him fall in love with her all over again, and he couldn’t wait until ‘one day’ was in the foreseeable future and they could have a family together.

Erin, however, was completely oblivious to Jay’s sentiment. “Yeah,” she rolled her eyes and brushed the comment off with a laugh. “Like that’s going to happen any time soon.”

It wasn’t intended to be mean – in her exhausted state, she hadn’t even picked up on the hint that Jay was trying to drop. She had never even thought about the possibility of her ever becoming a mother. Well, other than to dismiss it. With her job, she didn’t think it would be suitable to try to bring up a child, and when you factor in all the complications that she’s had over the years what with her upbringing, her drug addiction…it just wouldn’t be fair. Besides from all that, she had just thought Jay was talking about her when he said that she’d make a great mother. It never occurred to her that maybe, he meant them. The two of them becoming parents. Together.

Jay looked out of the window and the rest of the car ride was spent in silence. He was kicking himself for not anticipating the possibility that she wouldn’t want kids, for getting his hopes up when they hadn’t even brought up the conversation before. He tried to ignore how much it hurt.

☆

Voight had retreated into his office when he saw the desk sergeant walking up the steps to the bullpen, a small, fragile and scared looking girl who couldn’t be more than fourteen behind her. He frowned.

“Trudy?” he greeted her when he had gone out to meet her. “Who’s this?”

“This,” Platt gestured behind her. The girl had hung back, and was looking around the bullpen in what looked to him like a sort of disgusted admiration. “Is Paige Williams. She wants to speak to you.”

“Hi, Paige,” he said, doing his best talking-to-kids-voice. “I’m Sergeant Hank Voight. What do you need to talk to me about?”

Paige swallowed. “I –” she started, but as she approached Voight, and therefore the murderboard, she stopped. Looking up at the photograph of Luca Sanchez as they found him at the crime scene, his eyes open and glassy and his head plastered with already-drying blood, she stuttered. “It is him,” she choked, affirming to herself all of her apparent suspicions. But she didn’t cry, like Voight expected her to. Instead, she whirled around, determination settling in her eyes and on her pursed lips.

“Luca was my friend,” she said fiercely. “I want to help you catch whoever did this.”

Voight shot a side glance at Trudy, who just looked away. She wasn’t getting involved in this one.

“I’ll…leave you two to it, then,” Trudy smirked, and left the bullpen.

Voight turned back to the girl. “And how do you plan on doing that?” he raised his eyebrows.

Paige swallowed, and then raised her head in defiance and determination. “I saw him get shot. I’m a witness.”

Voight stared at her. What?

“Did I just hear right?” Atwater appeared in the doorway, Burgess at his elbow.

“You’re a witness?” Voight asked her. “You’re not having me on?”

Paige just stared at him. “Sergeant, I saw my friend get murdered. Do you really think I would lie about that?”

The sergeant just pursed his lips in lieu of giving a response.

“Fine. You want me to prove it to you?” she snapped. “Ask me anything you know.”

At that, Voight was stuck. They didn’t actually know anything.

Instead of answering, he just led her to the interrogation room. “Sit down,” he said gruffly, pointing at the seat behind the desk. “I’ll have someone come in and take your statement in a minute.”

There was something strangely familiar about the girl, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Probably nothing, he thought, and he took out his phone.

☆

“Hey, Hank,” Erin greeted her boss when she and Jay got back to the bullpen, the autopsy files in hand. She nodded at Platt when she entered the district, who had smiled weirdly at her and continued on with whatever she was doing.

“Hey, guys,” he swallowed. “You get anything from the autopsy?”

“No. Nothing of value, anyway. No traces of drugs. No sign of sexual assault either, but he had defense wounds all over his body. The kid fought back.” She shook her head slightly. These kinds of cases got to everyone, especially those of them with kids at home, like Antonio and Ollinsky, or younger siblings like Atwater. Erin found them tough, too, but not for the same reason – because she knew that if she hadn’t been saved by Voight when she was their age, the body in the morgue that morning may very well have been her about eighteen years ago. Mixed up with the wrong crowd, into the wrong stuff – Erin could definitely relate.

“We’ve got leads this time,” he reassured her. And they did. “Big leads, as it turns out.”

“W—” Jay started, but Voight was quick to interrupt.

“A young girl, Paige Williams, came by as soon as you left. She claims to be a witness. Says she and Luca were friends.”

“Sarge, that’s great!” Jay exclaimed.  “We can get her to pick our offender out of a line-up, she can testify…”

Voight nodded. “Burgess is in taking her statement now. You might want to sit in.”

Erin nodded. She and Jay made their way down the hallway and slipped into the observation room behind the window mirror of the interrogation room. But what they saw made both their hearts sink deep into the pits of their stomachs, and Erin let out a gasp so loud it made an almost strangled noise. Jay reached out and grabbed her elbow, steadying her as she took who their witness was.

“Avery?” she whispered, and before Jay could stop her, she flung open the door and ran straight into the interrogation room.

☆ ☆ ☆

thank you for reading!! if you’d like to be notified when it’s updated either head over to my ff.net account or message me and i’ll tag you at the end of the post :)

@allenting @sophiaxjesse @writteninthestarsandthesky @riverdaleangels @chillmydude

#chicago pd #linstead #linstead fanfic #erin lindsay #jay halstead #fanfiction #myfics #cpd #crossfire #crossfire:1:4

[benafleck]

Girl pLEASE tell us all about this boyfriend and how you met and what's he like and everything. Give us those juicy slumber party details!

Disclaimer: y’all are probs gonna judge me over certain aspects lol, putting under a read more!

Okay so we met at work which, yeah I know, dating a co-worker is supposed to be a bad idea so strike one right off the bat haha. In our defense though, we don’t really ‘work together’ in a traditional sense? We work at a grocery store (H-E-B) and there’s a deli in there. I work in the front end, where I help costumers and give them their meat/cheese, he works in the back where he makes the hot foods (rotisserie chickens, wings, bbq sandwiches, etc). So even on days we have similar shifts, we aren’t interacting with each other all day, just here and there throughout the day. Idk if that makes a difference

Anyway this all started way back in September when he was hired (I started in August). It took like a week or two for us to really start talking to each other since, like I said, we don’t really see each other all day, it’s hard to find the time to talk sometimes. Also because of my personality lol I was still pretty new so I was more shy/timid/quiet at first when in reality, I’m more outgoing/savage/jokey/generally full of shit once I get to know people. It helped that me and Matt (coworker) were hired at the same time. Matt and my bf were already friends, they worked together at McDonald’s right before. Me and Matt were each other’s first coworker friends at HEB and once my bf was hired, we all became this trio

So I pretty much had a crush on him from the get go lmao. I mean, I was immediately attracted to him. He’s tall, like over 6 feet and come on, that’s awesome since I’m like 5′3″. Plus he’s older than me (he’s 22, I’m 21) and for some reason, that’s super attractive to me?? haha. And I thought it was cool that he’s the same race as me, we’re both half white/half mexican what are the odds. And an attractive face of course, he’s got to have one of those

Moving past the physical traits, he’s got a great personality which I know sounds so freaking cliche but it’s true! And a guy’s personality is like second on my list. Personality means a lot. We’ve got similar senses of humor, music, shows/movies, books we read. He’s an odd mixture of cool and nerdy like myself, before we started dating and could only interact at work we could talk about literally anything. With some of my other coworkers, I can mostly think of nothing to say to them which can make the shift feel a little awkward at times. But with him, we can say anything and we’d both be interested in what each other had to say. Even since starting to date, it’s the same but there are now times when we don’t really have anything to say when we hang out, but it’s not awkward at all. We can be in pleasurable silences

Here’s the kicker though, the reason it took us four-five months to get together is because he already had a girlfriend when we met. I remember way in the beginning when I originally just had a crush on him, he dropped the “once me and my girlfriend..” bomb on me. It was pretty disappointing but I wasn’t surprised. I thought I’d get over it relatively quickly but boy was I wrong l m a o. It got harder and harder since the more I got to know him, the more I liked him and I guess it became more than a crush

And it was freaking hard because after a while, I could tell he was feeling the same way about me. It was this weird thing because we were both trying really hard to hid it but then we’d both say or do things to/with each other (we talked about this after the fact) that would make the other pause and question things. Like I would say something fairly flirty, then realize it and immediately say something to contradict it to try and make it less obvious, which confused the hell out of him. I’m not super sure about him but for me, it was meant to be a closely guarded secret that I told no one about. Because if a coworker did find out, that would have been fucking humiliating

Of course we were also hiding it because it was incredibly wrong for his at-the-time girlfriend. I knew he had one, he knew he had one.. what kind of people would we be if we were flirting/liking each other while he had a gf? Well I guess it ended up not being such a big deal(??) because their relationship was going downhill for a while at the end there. He wasn’t happy with her, they were together for almost two years and she had major trust issues (it had to do with her previous relationships). I picked up on this throughout our time working together, just based on the things he would say about her to some of us.. 

Well long story short (too late), he ended things with his last gf after it became too much for him I guess. At first we gave each other our snapchats. Then me, him, Matt, and other coworkers started hanging out. Then it would be me, him, Matt, and Matt’s gf hanging out at my bf’s apartment. Then once it was just me and him at his apartment. And it was that day where he asked me to be his gf. It happened kind of fast but at that point we more or less knew we liked each other so it was more of just making official lol. I did tell him that he had to take me out on a stereotypical date though. I had never been on one before so I wanted the whole shebang. I wanted to dress up nice for him, for him to pick me up at my house, take me somewhere nice, stuff like that. Haha I said it like a joke kind of in case he thought that was weird (I mean, I’m 21 and never had a bf or been on any sort of date) but he thought it was cute so that’s nice lol

So now it’s almost been a month and we’re super annoying. We spend more time with each other than we do other people but I’m getting better at that now that some time has passed haha. We’ve been on lots of dates and hang out at his place a lot. I’ve also never kissed anyone before so he had to teach me that. One of our first days together after dating, he wanted to kiss me but I said I was nervous because I didn’t know what to do! And he was all “I guess I’ll just have to do it when you don’t expect it so that way you won’t freak out” I said that was fine and after a while he was basically just like “fuck it, I’m going in” and then went in for that kiss lol. He feels very proud of himself that he gets to teach me things and I think it’s pretty funny. He says I’ve gotten really good at it after like a week so that was nice

It’s a different dynamic now too. Like before, at work we were savage to each other all the time. Making ‘mean’ jokes to or about each other. We would constantly give each other crap for all kinds of things. It’s still like that now but now we can see other sides of each other. He once told me he got to see the “girl Melissa” now with me being genuinely nice/sweet and whatever. What was surprising to me was how affectionate he is (he told me not to tell other people lmao), he likes cuddling and giving me kisses like on my cheek, forehead. Once I took a nap while he played a videogame and while I was more in and out, I could feel when he’d rub my back or my hair/forehead every now and then. So it’s nice to have that strong, tough man who can be gentle like that too

Juicy slumber party details though hmm…. Well there are a lot of things I’m going to make him wait for of course but yeah last time we hung out things got.. a little hot and heavy ;) Like over the clothes touching. Not sure exactly how hot and heavy that is but it’s more than I’m used to of course. He touched me though, I’m not ready to do anything myself. It’s also nice that he respects that and has me setting the pace :)

Okay that’s all I can think to put for now! That got kind of long lol and there might be typos but I don’t feel like going back to check. Y’all can ask me questions if y’all want, hope you enjoyed my little tale!

#prev. benafleck #answered #anon #about me #Anonymous #bf tag