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#i found a message from back when you were begging me to stay when all the cheating stuff came to light
not-magdi · 1 month
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"Be my Valentine?"
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Warnings: none :)
Summary: Lando surprises you on Valentine's Day.
Word Count: 1k
Reading Time: 4min 12sec
A/N
I am so sorry for not updating again, but life has been really stressful lately. I sadly can't promise you that it is going to be better a school is about to start again but I'll try.
Love y'all Magdi <3
February 13th, tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and you just ended a call with Lando, who was currently in Barcelona testing the new car. When he first told you he would be away for the 14th, disappointment and sadness were the only emotions you felt.   
Valentine's has been your favourite holiday since you were a little girl. It didn't matter if you had somebody or not. The pink hearts everywhere, the smell of roses in the air, and people all around being in love made it so special for you. 
And for two years, you got to spend Valentine's with the love of your life, Lando Norris. Although every day was special with Lando, he always made extra efforts for the 14th, such as preparing breakfast in bed, presenting flowers in a rainbow of colours, and gifting sparkling jewellery.
So, him not being here home with you this year crushed your spirits for tomorrow completely. Lando felt incredibly bad when he found out when the tests were, but nothing prepared him for how the spark in your eyes disappeared when he told you. 
Guilt was eating him up the entire trip to Barcelona. Even Oscar noticed and asked what was up. 
------
After you hung up with Lando, you decided to cuddle yourself up on your couch and do some self-care while watching some nineties rom-com. 
You knew it wasn't Lando's fault he didn't have a say in when the testing was going to be, but you were still really disappointed he couldn't be with you. 
------
Your stiff back and sore neck were the result of you falling asleep on the couch yesterday. The TV was still running when you decided to get up and make yourself breakfast. 
The second you unlock your phone, you are bombarded with posts of couples enjoying Valentine's Day together.  
Letting out an annoyed huff, you throw your phone on the couch and decide to take a shower, wanting to escape all that valentines crap for a bit. 
Afterwards, you felt way more refreshed and optimistic for the day. So you decided to throw on some of your favourite jeans and your most flattering top and head outside to the centre of Monaco. 
------
You spend your whole day wandering through Monaco, strolling through a few shops and taking a few breaks in some cafes. And even though you were still a bit mad at Lando, an addition to Lando's Valentine's present made its way into your bag. 
Your mood improved gradually throughout the day, but not hearing anything from Lando made it hard to stay positive. You texted him, "goodmorning ❤️" to show him you were not ignoring or mad at him. 
He reacted to your message, but it has been complete silence since then. You thought that maybe he was too busy, as he told you that today would be the media day, but not hearing anything from him hurt you were not going to lie.
------
And you were indeed correct in your assumption. Lando was incredibly busy today but not giving interviews and making content. No, he tried to convince Zak to let him fly home earlier today so he could spend some more time with you. 
"Oh, come on. Please Zak, I'm done with all my stuff, for what do you even need me here?" Lando begged his boss, quite desperate to let him fly home. 
Zak looked at him with a slightly tired expression. "Do you really have to fly home. I mean it's just Valentine's day."
Lando tried to put on his best puppy dog eyes. "It's really important for Y/N. I can't do that to her." 
That seemed to do the trick, as Lando is currently on a plane home to Monaco. He spent the whole flight on his phone, trying to make the time go by faster. A smile made its way onto his face when he saw you posted a photo of you sitting in one of your favourite cafes, enjoying the sun.
He felt so incredibly guilty after your call yesterday, already forming a plan for how he can make it up to you.
------
The second he touched the ground again, he immediately rushed to your favourite florist to get you the biggest bouquet of sunflowers he could find. 
The friendly old lady who runs the shop smiles as she sees Lando entering. You also visited her today, telling her your dilemma while buying a bouquet of pink tulips. 
So seeing Lando buying your favourite flowers made her happy for you, knowing you weren't spending the day alone anymore. 
------
You just came home from your trip, putting the flowers you bought in a vase and starting to make yourself some dinner. 
You were about to start eating when you heard the doorbell ring. Confused, you make your way to the front door. Looking through your peephole, you rip the door open in excitement.  
You couldn't believe your eyes when you saw your boyfriend standing before you. Well, you could barely see him between all those sunflowers. But what you could see. Was his adorable smile while he held a pink sign saying, "Be my valentine?" 
Rushing over to him, you tackled him in the biggest teddybear-hug, burying your face in his neck. 
"Hi baby." Kissing your head, Lando wraps one arm around you, squeezing you tight. 
"How-when, why are you here?" 
Chuckling slightly at your confusion, Lando answers, "Well I couldn't leave my girl alone on Valentine's now, can I? Besides, Zak couldn't withstand my puppy-dog-eyes." 
Laughing, you tilt your head, giving Lando a loving kiss while murmuring a sincere "I love you" against his lips.
"Mhm, I love you too, baby."  
------
After standing in your hallway like two teenagers, you ushered Lando inside, not letting go of his hand, wanting to have him near you all the time.  
You were now cuddling on the couch, your wrist decorated with a new bracelet, a sparkling "L" adorning its front. 
Lando broke the comfortable silence you two were basking in, "You didn't answer my question from earlier." 
You look up at him, confused. "What do you mean?" 
Wrapping his arms tighter around you, he says, "Will you be my Valentine?" 
Laughing, you take his face to kiss him, "Yes, Lando, I'd love to be your Valentine." 
------
Don't forget to leave a note if you enjoyed it, feedback is always welcome !!❤️
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mj0702 · 3 months
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The other Bronze - Part One
Here we go again 🤣 Thank you (as always) to Crush and Bubs
(the bad Spanish is courtesy of Google and if you find typos or anything please point them out to me 😉)
Y/n POV
You finally walked the last steps towards the door of your Sisters small house at the Outskirts of Barcelona. What you're doing in Barca on a random Friday Night? You wanted to surprise Lucy for her Birthday. It took a lot of begging to Mum and Dad to let you fly all on your own from Manchester to Barcelona and when you turned your phone on after landing, you had 26 missed calls and 15 messages already, the last one from your older Brother Jorge telling you to text him if the Plane crashed and you died – real Clown that one. You phoned Mum, telling her that the Flight was just a little delayed and that your still very much alive and not Shark food in the Ocean. You knew Lucy had training, so you stayed a little longer at the Airport, watching people, drinking Coffee. You found some nice company in a Girl, who waited for her Girlfriend and surprisingly spoke English. So know you're currently walking up the steps towards Lucy's front door, her spare key (which you got from Mum, in case Lucy wasn't home), my Earplugs blasting Music and you opened the door – boy what a mistake.
„Luuuucccyyyy!! Happy Birth... OH MY GOD MY EYES!!! OH EW!!“ you started to yell out in horror before spotting my Sister on her Couch. Naked. With another Girl on her knees in front of her, her head buried between your Sisters legs. You turned around as quick as you could, shutting the Door behind you. A few minutes later, some shuffling and swearing from the inside, said door got ripped open again.
„What are you doing here?“ Lucy asked you and you couldn't tell if she was pissed off or just annoyed.
„Surprise??“ you say, your back still facing her.
„Why do you have a Key to my Apartment? You can turn around by the way“ she sounded annoyed, which was good – annoyed is better than pissed off.
„Mum... I just saw things I never wanted to see ever“ you shrugged like it was self-explanatory. „Dear bloody Jesus“ your Sister huffed out, before grabbing your Arm, starting to pull you inside, as you tried to stop her by holding on to the Door frame
„I'm NOT going back in there again“ you say, gagging for good measure.
„Stop being difficult“ Lucy said, putting her arm around your Shoulders instead, having more leverage. Back inside you were sat down at the Kitchen table, the Girl from earlier just making some Coffee.
„I hope you sanitized that Table“ you mumbled, before looking at your Sister „No way you haven't fu...“
„If you finish that Sentence, I'll call Mum telling her that you broke that ugly Vase at Christmas three years ago“ Lucy narrowed her eyes at you, before turning to the Girl „Ona... this is my overly annoying baby Sister y/n... devils spawn... this is Ona, my Girlfriend“
You just looked at the Girl with a blank face nor knowing how to react to these news.
„Manners“ Lucy growled at you and slapped the back of your Head
„Hola“ you said to Ona, not really knowing what to think of her.
„Hola“ Ona smiled back, putting a cup of Coffee in front of you, which Lucy took away the instant it touched the Table „No hay café para ella“ she said to Ona, while ignoring your frustrated „Oi!!“.
„Por qué?“ the dark haired woman asked.
„Look at her.... she's already a pest, I don't need her caffeinated up“ Lucy answered, finally in English, while pointing at you.
„Aye you Arsepiece“ you huffed out, crossing your arms in front of your chest.
„You're English, not Scottish, ya wee shite“ your Sister grinned at you, but finally came over, ruffling you Hair, which is Lucy language for „I love you“.
“I was born in Scotland therefore I’m Scottish” you grumble out.
„I don't understand a word you two say“ Ona said confused, her spanish accent thick as she speaks english and Lucy laughed out loud
„All good...“. She then looks at you again „But seriously... what are you doing here?“.
„Wanted to surprise you for your Birthday... haven't seen you since the Euros“ you mumble a little embarrassed
„You... missed me“ Lucy smirked
„No... how could I miss your annoying Ass?“ you answered quickly and she KNEW she hit a nerve
„I missed you too, Devils Spawn“ she said, pulling you into a side hug
„You never told me you had a younger Sister, Lucia“ Ona said, smiling slightly at our interaction
You just raise an eyebrow at Lucy „Lucia? What have you done to fuck up so badly, that she uses your actual name?“
„Lucia is more common here, you daft punk...“ Lucy rolled her eyes at you still holding you to her side before answering her Girlfriend „I try to keep her away from the Spotlight“
„Oh...“ Ona said, like she understands, which you doubted „I'll leave you two to catch up, I'm going to go...“ she smiled
„Weren't you about to come a little while ago?“ you blurted out, which earned you a very hard punch to the shoulder courtesy of your lovely Sister
Ona just look confused, which causes you to laugh „You can explain that one, Kneeless... Bathroom that way?“.
As you renter the Kitchen, you see Lucy and Ona kissing in the Doorway. You comment it with a loud dry heaving sound. Lucy blindly throws a shoe at you, which misses by miles and you snap a photo of her. You can only see Lucys back and Onas Hands around her Neck, so it's obvious that there's someone else, but you can't see who. You sit back down at the Table, your Stomach starting to growl and you realize just how late it is. You shot up and run up to Lucy, grabbing her shirt, pulling hard successfully ending the make out session
„You have to phone Mum that I'm here, otherwise she'll send a search party and I'm already dead, because I didn't text her that I arrived safely“ you stumble over your words, because nothing is more scary than Mum Bronze in Mum Mode. Lucy rolled her eyes, pecking Onas lips again for a final goodbye, before pushing you back into the Apartment again
„You realize what I just gave up for you?“
„Multiple Orgasms, I know... I don't want to know, but I know... can I post a picture, saying I'm with you?“ you murmur the end of your question, knowing Lucy is very picky with private Pictures and even more, when you're involved
„Let me first call Mum, then let me check the Picture, then we decide what we get for dinner, okay?“ she pressed a Kiss to your temple, already her Phone in Hand, dailing Home.
She was on the Phone to Mum forever, apologizing telling her she was so happy to see you that we forgot to call her. Straight A+ lie, but if someone can pull it off, it's Lucy
„You owe me, Smol“ she said after ending the Call „Now show me that picture, so I can say No and we can go finding food, since my fridge is empty and I planned on eating something else tonight“ she grinned, as you start to dry heave again.
„Please... i REALLY don't want to think about it“ you say pained
Lucy laughed out loudly and you smiled. You really missed her.
„Show me the Picture“ she said, encouraging you, a smile playing around her lips, as you show her.
„That's a good one“ Lucy said after a minute of looking at it closely handing you the phone back „You can use that one... Just don't tag Ona please“
„I don't even know who she is“ you said looking apologetic „but I think she's nice“
Your Sister laughed again „She is... haven't felt like this since Keira“
„Why did you and Keira split up? I really liked her“ you said and Lucy looked at you for a second, really looked at YOU before answering
„We just fell out of Love... nobodies fault... it just happened and it wasn't fair to either of us to keep pretending“ Lucy said carefully, yet seriously, knowing that Topic was difficult for you
„As cliche as it sounds, but we're still friends and I know, Keira will be over the Moon seeing you again“. Truth is, when Lucy and Keira split up you refused to talk to your Sister for weeks, not grabbing fully why she would leave Keira. Keira who was a mixture between a big Sister and a Mother to you. Keira, who made you laugh, when you where sad. Keira, who carried you to bed, when you fell asleep during a Movie. Keira, who held you when you came crying into Lucys Bedroom, just woken up from a Nightmare. In the End, you was just too young to grab fully what was happening. Maybe not too young but you couldn’t understand the feelings behind it.
„Was it my fault?“ you whispered, always the nagging feeling at the back of your Head, that it was your fault they split up.
„What?“ Lucy asked confused „No... of course not! Y/n listen to me... it had NOTHING to do with you“
„But if I would have acted more grown up and not come running nearly every night..“ you stared and Lucy immediately knew what it was about
„Y/n... it had nothing to do with that... nothing! You went through something traumatic and we were honestly glad you trusted us enough to come to us or let us calm you down when you had a nightmare“ she said insistently, holding your look „You had nothing to do with what happened between Keira and I, do you understand me?“
„I just... I feel like it's my fault“ you look down, playing with your fingers
„It's not... and if you don't believe me, you can ask Keira...“ Lucy said, grabbing your Hands in hers, holding them tightly „It just happened“
You let her pull you into a hug and for the first time in a long time you felt safe and home.
„Thanks Luce“ you mumbled against her shoulder
„Always ya wee shite“ she said and you felt her smiling into your Hair.
Yes, even at 16 years old, Lucy is a whole Head bigger than you were. Your stomach growled again and Lucy laughed „What do you want to eat, I'll order“
„I'm in Spain... obviously I want Fish and Chips, Idiot... I want authentic spanish food“ you said sarcastically
„Smartass“ she rolled her eyes „We could also go out, whatever you want“
„It's YOUR Birthday... why do I have to choose? “ you said, honestly confused
„I was trying to be nice... I know a small little Restaurant, not too far from here“ she grinned at you
„Do I have to change for it?“ you asked, looking down at your button down shirt, ripped jeans and the baby blue chucks
„Other shoes and you're good to go“ Lucy said as she threw a pair of NIKEs your way „I'll just go change, don't do anything stupid“ she pointed her finger threatenly at you
„Never, my beloved Sister“ you say sarcastically.
While Lucy is changing, you decided against posting the picture of Lucy and Ona kissing online. You know your Sister values her privacy and even she gave you the ok, it didn't feel right – but that doesn't mean you couldn't send it to someone else... Keira.
Y/n: ~ inserts picture ~ It finally happened Kei... I walked in on her... thankfully I haven't eaten today, otherwise Lucy would have to clean that up too
Keira: You're in Barcelona, Bitsy?! Why didn't you tell me?
Y/n: Sure am... wish I wasn't tho... ehm... surprise?
Keira: I hope you didn't plan to fuck off without saying hi... and don't kid yourself, Bitsy... that definitely wasn't the first time you walked in on your Sister ;)
Y/n: of fucking course not... and how would you know that, Ms. Walsh?
Keira: Because I was there :p
After you read Keiras last Text, you threw your Phone to the other End of the Couch with a loud „EW!!“.
Lucy came running from the Bedroom, looking at you shocked „What happened?? Are you okay?“. „I walked in on you and Keira???“ you cried out in agony.
„What?“ Lucy looked at you confused. You showed her your Phone, which caused her to laugh – full on belly laugh „Oh yeah... I forgot about that“ Lucy laughed.
„I WALKED IN ON YOU AND KEIRA???“ you screeched horrified.
„Yep... multiple times actually“ Lucy grinned.
„Oh god... I think I need to throw up? When... wait no... don't answer that“
Your Sister laughed again, throwing a coat towards you, silently telling you that you were leaving. „Is it okay, if I invite some people?“ she asked you, as you leave the Apartment.
„It's your Birthday, Luce – you can invite whoever you want“ you shrugged your Shoulders. „Whomever“ Lucy corrected you automaticly, before she pulled out her phone and send some texts. „Smartass“ you mumble as your Sister put her Arm around your Shoulders, manoeuvring you through the City.
Just as you rounded a corner into a small side road, someone shoulder checked you, turning around, yelling something in spanish at you. You looked at the guy confused, feeling Lucy going into protective Mode, making herself bigger by your Side. Before she could say anything, you looked at the Guy, yelling at him „Cállate la Boca, matildo hijo de puta!“
Your Sister looked shocked at you as does the Guy. You put on your best Bronze-Fightingface, before making a step towards him. Just as the Guy made up his mind and also took a step towards you, a Woman pushed right in between you two oozing confidence and started talking calmly to the Guy. She was pretty but damn – she was intimidating. The Guy talked back twice, before turning around, leaving the little alley
„What the Hell, Y/n??“ Lucy yelled at you „What the hell did you say to that guy? I understood ONE word and know it wasn't a compliment – and since when do you speak spanish?“
She then turned to the Woman „Hola Alexia... Gracias por interferir“
„Ningún problema“ the woman smiled at my Sister
„And you“ she turned to you „Where did you learn that?“
And there was that intimidating look again, which made you gulp. You grew up with Lucy Bronze, but this woman scared you. You pushed yourself behind your Sister, trying to hide
„Answer her“ Lucy pulled you out from behind her.
You just shook your Head and mumbled „She scares me Luce“
„Good“ your Sister mumbled „now answer her“
You shook your Head again. The woman looked at you and smiled slightly
„Excuse me. Hi, my name is Alexia, I'm a teammate and friend of your Sister“
You're still careful, not to stand to close to her „Hi... Y/n... I'm.. the Sister of my Sister“
This actually made her laugh, while Lucy groaned and started to rub her forehead embarrassed
„So... now that we know each other, where did you learn to offend spanish people? As much as I gathered, you don't speak spanish..“ Alexia said and immediately she got all scary again
„I... no... yes?“ You looked at her and tried to hide behind Lucy again, who groaned again. „Cariño.... my patience is wearing quite thin... you better start talking” Alexia said sweetly, but you knew it was a fair warning
“A girl at the Airport taught me... I just tried to order a coffee, which is SO hard in your country and the Barista didn't understand me and she kinda took over and ordered for me... as a thank you, I paid for hers... and we sat together as she waited for her Girlfriend and since we had time, she taught me some spanish” you stutter out
“Do you even know what you just said?” Alexia looked at you shocked
“ehrm... no... but the girl said I have to put on a Bitchface after saying it... she was cool...”
“Y/n... you just can't throw around spanish phrases, because SOMEONE told you” Lucy pressed.
“She look trustworthy” you defended yourself
“Cariño...” Alexia said softly “... don't EVER say that again, because you will get hurt in the process”
“Is it bad?” you ask unsure
“It is...” the Spanish woman said “... and if I ever find that Girl, that taught you, I will have a VERY serious talk with her... in spanish” she winked at you
“What are the Odds” you mumbled and Lucy looked at you
“What odds?” she asked you confused
“That girl just turned around the Corner” you said, pointing at a Girl, laughing loudly with some other girls
“I should have known” Alexia groaned out “María Pilar León Cebrián!!! Nosotras necesitamos hablar!!!” she yelled out
The Girl in questions Head snapped towards Alexias angry Voice, her laughter dying in her throat. She made eye contact with you, her eyes went comically wide and you could swear, you saw her mouthing the word “Fuck”, before slowly starting to walk backwards
“Oh please do” Alexia sneered, while walking towards Maria “Please start running, so I can chase after you because after I caught you, I'm gonna drag your sorry Ass up to Nuo and let you run Laps until Training is over and then some more...”
You turned towards your Sister “Isn't Nuo Egg?” you ask confused
“Huevo is Egg.. Nuo is the Stadium where we train and play” Lucy explained
“Ah... and why is Alexia calling me Cariño ... is that some weird spanish name?” you said, still confused
This Time Lucy laughed out loud, while Alexia is “actively” having a word with Maria – she was outright yelling at the poor Girl. You actually did feel sorry for her. Maria looked very guilty, trying to explain, but not getting a word in.
“Cariño is a form of endearment... something like Honey”
“Excuse me?? She could have at least taken me out on a Date first” you huffed, but smiled.
“Are you causing trouble already?” a voice behind you said amused. You turned around and sprinted off, throwing yourself in the Womans arms.
“I missed you, Keira” you mumbled into her neck, while she's hugging you tightly
“I missed you too, Bitsy” she kissed your Hair, not breaking the contact
You felt safe in her arms. Lucy came over after getting over her initial shock of you just sprinting off
“For once, it wasn't her causing the Trouble... it was Mapí” Lucy said, nodding towards a still yelling Alexia with her head
“What a surprise – Mapí causing trouble... these two would absolutely cause havoc” Keira laughed, not letting go of you
“Take a guess, why Mapí is getting yelled at... they have met already” your Sister grinned
“Oh god” Keira groaned laughing “What has Mapí done?”
“She taught me spanish” you said proudly
“What did she teach...” the other english woman started before getting interrupted by Lucy “Don't!!!! Don't ask!”
Keira was a little taken aback, but didn't ask any further
“She taught me a phrase... apparently it's a bad one and I'm not allowed to say it again, otherwise the scary Woman will have my Ass” you said, still pressed into Keiras side
“Scary Woman?” Keira raised an eyebrow at Lucy
“Alexia” your Sister answered shrugging her shoulders
“Mapí would like to say something” said Woman stood behind you three, her hand grabbing the back of Marias neck, who looked like a kicked puppy
“Lamento mucho haberte enseñado algo malo” the smaller Woman mumbled, clearly not happy or comfortable with the situation
“En Inglés” Alexia rolled her eyes “As you maybe remember, little Bronze doesn't speak spanish”. “Su hermana lo hace - ella puede traducir” Maria said
“Maria” Alexia warned “Deja de ser difícil y discúlpate correctamente”
“I'm sorry for teaching you bad spanish” the younger woman huffed out annoyed
“It's...” you started, before Alexia interrupted you “And now we try to say that, like we really mean it” she said to Mapí, grabbing her neck a little tighter
“I'm sorry” the younger girl winced
“Very good” Alexia smiled, but everyone saw it was fake, before getting a stern face again “You still will run laps tomorrow”
“What??? I apologized” Mapí said shocked
“Still doesn't change the fact, that you nearly caused a fight – if I hadn't stepped in, she most like would have end up in the Hospital with a broken nose... or worse” Alexia said
“Oi!” you yelled out “I may be small, but I can hold myself, thank you very much”
“We” Alexia looked at you sternly “Will talk tomorrow”
You gulped again, making yourself smaller at Keiras side, who had watched the whole interaction with an amused grin on her face.
“Can we get food now?” you whispered into Keiras side
The Midfielder laughed loudly “Let's go” she said as she pulled you into the small Restaurant, everyone following you. You sat between Lucy and Alexia, Mapí to Alexias right, next to her her Girlfriend Ingrid, Keira was to Lucys left with one seat free in between them for when Ona would join.
“What's edible here?” you ask to no one particular, studying your menu.
“Should I order for you, Cariño?” Alexia ask, wanting to make you feel welcome and comfortable “If this is you aassuming that this is a date, then no...” you say distracted, still try to figure out the menu.
Alexia was taken aback, while your Sister laughed.
“But what is... potatoes braves?” you asked, looking up confused.
Mapí clutched her heart dramatically “My heart... my Heart burns... I think I have a heart attack.. is this what a heart attack feels? My poor Heart”
“What is her deal?” you asked your Sister, who already had tears in her eyes from laughing
“You just absolutely BUTCHERED her language and food” Keira said, her tone dry as usual still looking over the menu.
“But it says there...” you climbed on top of Lucy, your Knee pressing into her thigh, causing her to groan out in pain, to show Keira on the Menu “Potatoes braves... or something like that”
“Patatas Bravas” Keira corrected you “It is potatoes, but it's not called Potatoes and definitely not Braves..”
“Look at you, all fancy spanishing” you rolled your eyes at her, but she knew you didn't mean it.
“Could you please finally get off me?” Lucy groaned out, pushing you back on your chair “When did you get so heavy?”
“Are you calling me fat, Arse biscuits??” you challenged her by raising an eyebrow
“What if I do, Twat McFuckknuckle?” Lucy taking your bait, raising her eyebrow as well
“Stop it! Both of you, we have company AND in public” Keira said sharply, successfully interrupting your interaction “God the two of you – always trouble”
You kicked Lucys ankle lightly under the Table, she shoving you, pushing you successfully into Alexia.
“Sorry... she pushed me” you mumbled out, while shoving Lucy back.
Alexia looked at Keira “Are they always this violent towards each other?”
“Oh this isn't violent – this is actually them behaving” Keira smiled fake, watching you two shoving each other “Just wait till there's food on the Table – THEN it gets violent”.
Just as they were about to order, Ona joined the small Group, pressing a small Kiss to Lucys lips. You watched that interaction with a frown on your face. You cared deeply for Keira and assumed it wasn't easy on her watching her Ex and her new Girlfriend kissing right in front of her. You carefully looked at Keira, but saw her laughing with Ingrid, who changed seats for conversation purposes.
“What's this dark look on your face, Cariño?” Alexia whispered in your ear, unknowing to you, she always had an eye on you.
“Nothing” you said flatly, not wanting to start a scene “I'm just hungry”
It was your Sisters Birthday after all and she looked very happy with Ona.
“Dinner will be served soon, don't worry” the Barca captain said lightly, putting a hand on your bouncing knee.
“Ale?” Mapí asked from Alexias other side.
“Si?” the woman in question looked at her younger Teammate
“Can we swipe seats?” Mapí asked hopefully.
You look at her confused “You want to what?”
“Swipe seats... I take Alexias, she sits in my seat” the young spanish said
“Oh... OH... you mean swap...” you say as you realize what she wants “and they say I butcher a language”
“No” Alexia said sternly “before you ask, you two won't be anywhere unsupervised”
“Oi” you exclaim “I'm very capable of looking after myself”, while Mapí exclaimed something in spanish.
“No idea what she said, but she's right” you say, pointing at Mapí
“Enough” Alexia said sternly, both of you stop complaining immediately.
Keira looked impressed at Alexia, trying to hide her smirk. Lucy was in her own world with Ona, ignoring everything around her. Finally there was Food on the Table and before the Plagrabfor everyone even were placed on the Table, you and Mapí already starting to grab whatever you could reach. Alexia watched in horror, as you two just loading food on your own plates without waiting for the rest “Excuse me? María León... I know for a fact that you have manners and won't just load your plate with food without WAITING for everyone else – especially for the Woman who celebrates her birthday today... isn't that right, María?”
Mapí looked down on her plate guilty, before starting to put the food back.
“I thought so” Alexia said, still a mad undertone in her voice
You on the other Hand didn't care one bit. You grew up in the Bronze household. You snooze, you loose. You threw a little fried something into your mouth, chewing happily. That was until the spiciness kicked in. Your eyes went wide, tears starting to form in your eyes and you started to have problems to breath. As always, you turned to Keira for help, throwing food at her to get her attention.
“Y/n please... I didn't raise you for years so you start throwing food in public” the Woman said, turning to you before realizing what was happening. Once she saw you in your distressed state, she immediately came over, pulling you out of your chair and out of the restaurant. Lucy finally noticed her surroundings, as Keira pulled you outside. She jumped up, following the two of you outside
“What happened?” Lucy asked worried, seeing you having difficulties to breath and tears streaming down your face.
“I don't know. She suddenly started to throw food at me, I actually was about to tell her off, but saw her having problems to breath and got her out” Keira gave Lucy a rundown, while keeping you upright
“It's okay, Bitsy... calm down” Keira started to talk to you in a low, soothing voice “Take a deep breath for me”
You tried to follow her instructions, but with no luck. Lucy finally sprung into action grabbing you by your shoulders, making you look at her
“Did you eat something?”
You nod, still trying your hardest to breath.
“Spicy?”
You nod again, thankful that your Sister keeps a cool head.
“You're doing good, Bubs... Do you know what you've eaten?”
You shake your head.
“Okay... we can work with that” Lucy said, a small reassuring smile on her lips, turning to Keira “Could you get something dairy.. milk... yoghurt... whatever”
“Sure” Keira smiled before disparaging inside the Restaurant.
“It's okay, Bubs... it's going to get better soon, I promise – just... don't shovel everything into your gob without asking next time.. these guys here are absolutely unholy when it comes to spicy food”. Just as your Sisters calm voice started to work on your nerves, Keira appeared with a glass of milk AND yoghurt
“Drink Bitsy” she smiled assuringly at you, pushing the glass of milk into your hands.
You took a sip and immediately felt your tight chest loosen up. Greedily you drowned the whole glass, feeling better with every gulp.
“Fuck” was the first word, that left your mouth after you regain your breathing again.
“You okay now, Bubs?” Lucy asked concerned.
“Getting there” you said, leaning forward, your hands on your knees “But I think I need to throw up”
Lucy pulled you upright quickly “Are you serious?”
“Yep” you breathed deeply, your stomach on a wrath for torturing it
“I'm getting you home right now” your Sister said seriously “Spicy is one thing, but your stomach is normally made of steel, that's not normal”
You just groaned
“Stay” Keira said to your Sister “It's your Birthday – I'll take her to my Place and have an eye on her... you stay and enjoy your evening, okay?”
“I can't ask that of you, Kei” Lucy said softly
“You're not asking... I'm offering” Keira smiled softly “If she feels up for it, we can meet for brunch or lately at training”
“Thank you” Lucy whispered, hugging her Ex-Girlfriend before turning to you “You behave... be good for Keira”
You nod before Keira wraps you into a hug, leading you away.
As soon as you're out of earshot and view, Keira let go of you and grinned knowingly “You can stop pretending now...”
You looked at her shocked “How did you know?”
“I was always able to tell... your sister is right, you have a stomach made of steel... your whole face changed after you drank the milk and I knew you're alright again... what I don't know is why you put on a show” the english Woman smirked at you, as she called you out
“Didn't want you to put up with Lucy and her new One being all lovey-dovey all evening... and I didn't want to put up with it either” you mumble caught.
Keira started to laugh loudly “Oh Bitsy... I see that lovey-dovey every day... it's okay for me... Lucy deserves to be happy...”
You looked at Keira and she knew there was more to it.
“What's wrong, Bitsy?” she ask lovingly
“I feel like it's my fault you broke up...” you mumble, having a hard deja-vu
“Oh sweetheart... no it's not... Lucy and I just grew apart. It happens and it's nobodies fault, especially not yours... but there's more, isn't it?” Keira said softly
“I don't like the new one” you mumble out, looking down embarrassed
“Why? Ona is a good person, she's good to and for your Sister”
“She looks like she doesn't even need to shave” you exclaimed.
Keira bursted out laughing “You're one of a kind, Bitsy... trust me... Ona is a good Person and she's good for Lucy... I know you're always struggling with change, but please.. give Ona a chance, she'll surprise you”
“M'kay” you mumble.
You arrived at Keiras Apartment, she let you both in before setting up her guest room for you. You went on exploring Keiras home. You were about to open a cabinet as she called from the guest room “Don't you dare open my Cabinets... I love you but you're a clutz”.
You quickly let go of the handle, looking at the pictures hanging on the wall instead. You spotted one of yourself and Lucy, sound asleep on your Couch in Manchester. You laid on top of Lucy, while she was sprawled out under you, her right arm over your back, holding you safely, her knee carefully placed on some pillows, her glasses askew on her face, your hand fisted in her shirt.
“I love that picture” Keiras voice soft behind you “I came back from training, wondering why she hadn't answered my texts about dinner... I walked in and both of you were softly snoring on the Couch. Your leg was so close to her freshly operated knee, that I was afraid you'd hurt it, if you move and I tried to lift you off her, but both of you started to stir as soon as I moved you. So I just let you sleep – after I took a picture. I think Lucy slept for another hour and you slept for nearly three more hours”
Keiras voice was soft and full of love, that you started crying silently. Another picture showed Lucy and Keira in a park, you asleep in between them. You pointed at the picture, your back still facing her.
“London” Keira said understanding you even without words “Our first anniversary.. She planned this whole Weekend to the brim, with fancy Restaurant, Musical Show, Sightseeing... everything... then your parents got so sick with the flu, that we took you with us... her plans went so fast out the window” Keira laughed quietly “but we improvised and instead of fancy restaurant we did pick-nick in Hyde Park – and I wouldn't change it for the world. You were so done after a day of exploring the city and all of the sights, that you were out like light as soon as you sat down”
You pointed at the next picture, again the three of you.
“You can't remember this one?” she asks you surprised.
“I do” you whisper “but... please”
“Paris” Keira said softly “Third anniversary.. Lucy just joined Lyon and invited me over to France for our anniversary She told me, she has the weekend off and wanted to take me to Paris – I honestly thought she would propose... Somehow you heard Lucy talking to your mum and begged her to let you come as well. It was the first time you two were separated and everyone could see that it was so hard on you. Lucy said as long as I'm okay with it, you could come. I remember you being so over the top with your nerves, that you ran around the Airport like a maniac... I lost you twice” Keira chuckled “and as soon as we started, you were out like a light again. In Paris, I had do carry you off the Plane, because you wouldn't wake up – and I still had to get our luggage AND carry you. It took me forever and Lucy was starting to panic that I bailed until she saw me, packed like a Donkey holding onto your sleeping form, dragging our bags behind me. And what did she do? She first smiled and then laughed – but it was the most beautiful sound in the world to me”
“Do you miss her?” you asked quietly.
“Of course I do” Keira answered honestly.
“Do you still love her?”
“I love her, yes... but I'm not IN love with her” she said.
You finally turned around, hugging her tightly.
“I miss you at home... so much” you mumble into her shoulder, tears rolling down your cheeks. Keira held you tightly “Oh sweet girl.. I miss you too – I really do”
You stayed like this for a moment, before your eyes grew heavy and Keira carefully walked the two of you towards the Guest bedroom, not letting go of you. You held onto her for dear life, letting her guide you.
As Keira kicked the door of the Guest room open, you mumble into her shoulder “Don't wanna sleep alone”
The english Woman chuckled lightly “I thought so... I just thought I'd offer, just in case... being a good host and everything”
She guided you towards her own Bedroom and sat you down on the Bed. You already were half asleep and whined tiredly as Keira let go of you. She smiled at your hunched over form
“Hush you... I need to change and get ready for bed – you too by the way”
You whined again “too much effort”
“Come on” Keira pulled at your Shirt “Teeth, Face, Change”
You felt like being Seven all over again.
“Nooooo” you whined out.
“Don't start... I'm not Lucy, I'm not a push-over... seven years of me in your life should have taught you that” Keira said severe.
You huffed heavy-hearted, before pushing off the Bed, shuffling towards the bathroom.
Keira smiled to herself “Still a big baby”.
After both of you went through your nightly Routine, with Keira basically brushing your teeth for you and changed your button down shirt with a normal shirt to sleep in, you made it into bed, where you immediately cuddled into Keiras arms and closed your Eyes. The older Woman kissed the Crown of your Head as she mumbled sweet nothings into the dark room, knowing you'd fall asleep in an instant.
Part 2 follows... at some point 😅
537 notes · View notes
meiieiri · 2 months
Text
water’s edge | 03
₊˚.༄ pairing: crown prince!gojo satoru x f!reader | setting: modern royal au
₊˚.༄ summary: in a world where titles define their fates, gojo satoru, the crown prince of japan, and his wife-to-be, face a tempestuous court of deception and schadenfreude. as they waltz on the edge of ruin, can their love endure the treacherous waters that threaten to pull them apart, or will the whims of the enigmatic chrysanthemum throne prove strong enough to drown them both?
₊˚.༄ author’s note: please don’t kill me omg this took too long. also, thank you to the warmest of messages, it really helped a lot. <33 i’ll see this through to the end. and thank you for sticking by me all this time. rbs are appreciated<3
₊˚.༄ warnings: physical harm/abuse, references to theft, adultery.
₊˚.༄ masterlist
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He doesn’t want to wake up.
Not right now, when everything feels so real, so painfully tangible that he could make out her voice, her gentle breath, her plumose touch grazing his flesh as she leans in. “Satoru?” The woman in his dream whispers his name, and light seems to burst forth from that sound alone. It’s her; she iswas here, Satoru could almost touch her if he searched hard enough. If he imagined her face with just a little more effort, maybe she’d become real and not a figment of his guilt-ridden imagination. “Satoru, wake up. We can’t stay.”
I’ve missed you, I’ve missed who I could be when I’m with you.
Suddenly, he is brought back to light-hearted days when he used to sit underneath the imperial palace’s cypress, his fingers absentmindedly flipping through a book he found in the imperial archives while the love of his life sits beside him. His orbs gaze up at the chemtrails that paint the canvas of the turquoise summer sky.
He doesn’t want this dream to end. Shaking his head, he refuses her request the same way he did back then.
How cruel could she be to ask him to leave her again? He’s left her once, he wasn’t about to do it again. He hasn’t even begged for her forgiveness yet and now, she was telling him to wake up from this fantasy world his troubled mind created and to confront reality.
Don’t make me go, he begs her. Weren’t they happy here being together after being forced apart by those around them? Why would she want to go another minute without him being by her side? Did she still resent him? Stupid question, Satoru thought bitterly. Of course she does, after everything he’s put her through-
Suddenly, the hand that was reaching for her falls slack against his side. He doesn’t deserve her forgiveness, nor the very privilege of claiming to love her when every action he has ever committed said otherwise. Then, like a clock striking at midnight, the dream abruptly vanishes in a cloud of smoke.
Gojo’s eyes flutter open with a start.
“Shit,” he clutches his still asleep shoulder and sits up, looking at the empty room. How long has he been asleep? He looks at his watch — he’s an hour late — but he doesn’t really seem to care about the time. Immediately, he sends a quick text to Himiko asking where she is, only to receive a text with a picture attached of the cathedral. It seems she went ahead thinking it would only stir up more trouble if they arrived at the venue together.
Gojo’s mind wanders back to the dream before it is inevitably forgotten. Like a movie that he wants to watch over and over. He gazes at himself in the full body mirror with an empty gaze. All that is in his mind is to smash the reflective material into pieces, knowing that this is not the man his love wanted him to be: a prisoner in his own skin. When is all of this ever going to end? He huffs, slipping on his shoes and shrugging on his navy blue sash.
Not wanting to delay the inevitable any further, he turns on his heel to head to the cathedral reluctantly leaving the traces of his now corroding past behind for an even bleaker future with you as his wife.
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“…Where’s Satoru?”
The entire nation is silent when only moments before, they were happily celebrating this supposedly joyful day. A reporter trains his video camera on you as you stand there motionless before an empty altar. Pretty soon, other members of the media who would get a huge scoop out of this travesty follow in his example as if you haven’t been humiliated enough by your groom who couldn’t even bother to show up at your wedding.
The empress who is seated right of the altar shoots you an apologetic look; she didn’t realize that Satoru could stoop this low. This wasn’t anything less of a transactional marriage and you thought that the prize that Satoru was promised he would get for marrying you would be enough for him to at least be civil with you. And here you thought that the earrings he gifted to you were a sign that things would eventually settle down.
Without warning, as the VIP guests start to chatter amongst themselves about how pitiful you looked, the woman you dreaded seeing bounds over to you, a solemn expression on her face. You would have believed that, despite the quiet rift between you and Chief-of-Staff Himiko Zenin, she felt a little sorry for you but her choice of wearing white on your wedding day says otherwise.
“Ms. (Y/N). I’m sorry there must have been a problem with the schedule, if you could follow me please—“ she begins to lead you to one of the cathedral’s private holding rooms before the grip on your hand tightens.
“—Suguru?” you looked at Suguru with a sad and confused expression. His heart clenches in his chest when he gets a good look of the damage Satoru dealt to you. He looks like he wants to throw something at the press for making a dogshow out of your agony — his hands are clenched into fists, his knuckles white — he takes a few deep calming breaths before he does anything rash.
At Himiko’s persistence, Suguru’s gaze hardens and he gently pulls you away from her as your feet remain planted firmly on the marble floor of the cathedral, leaving you frozen in place at Satoru’s betrayal. He hopes what he’s thinking isn’t true, but that’s proving to be a challenge since he doesn’t miss the hickey on Himiko’s neck which had been conveniently hidden by her long brown hair. Maybe she had a part in all this mess? She and Satoru had a history together after all and judging by the way you looked at her with apprehension — he doesn’t want to consider it — but perhaps you already knew that.
You are blinded by a camera’s flash and Suguru springs into action. Turning to the nearest guest, he politely asks, “Excuse me? May I borrow your suit for a second?” When the guest agrees, he shields your face with the Zegna suit to conceal you from the hounding eyes of the press who must be having the time of their lives right about now. Just one picture of the Crown Prince’s crying bride could sell for a good buck but not on his watch.
Not on his fucking watch.
Suguru looks at his father, and then his stepmother, and he couldn’t bring himself to be surprised to see them frozen in their places unable to do anything, much less act like they care. Their priority was to look good in front of all these cameras that were terrorizing you, not to comfort their future daughter-in-law. “Hey, it’ll be okay,” Suguru begins to urgently lead the two of you back to the car, his arm protectively around you while you hold the suit over your head.
“Will it?” You probably sounded like a child, begging for reassurance that all this was some sick dream but at that moment, it didn’t matter. You need someone - anyone - to tell you that everything will be alright. The question makes Suguru’s heart sink. In all honesty, he doesn’t know, but he didn’t need to make you feel even worse if he spoke the truth. So, he nods, choosing to lie to spare you from even more pain because he couldn’t count on anyone in this goddamn cathedral to do the same. He’ll have to talk to Satoru later on, this is a bad start to any marriage - no, bad would be an understatement, this is a catastrophic omen of what’s to come.
Pretty soon, Suguru requests that the roof of the car be reinstalled to hide your desolate expression. “Put it back up, please. The princess must be protected!” In his panic, he accidentally refers to you as a princess even before you are formally crowned Princess of Japan. The imperial household agents quickly get to work and pretty soon, Suguru helps you back into the car, putting up the tinted windows.
You can’t feel a thing. You don’t even know if you should harshly laugh at your foolishness or cry now that you’ve just been humiliated in front of thousands of people all across the world. Shrugging off the suit over your head, Suguru is surprised to see that you weren’t crying. You simply sat there, blankly staring at the ring on your finger.
“(Y/N)? Come on, say something…” He’s desperately trying to get you to express the tiniest bit of emotion, somewhat unnerved by your silence.
Turning to look at him, you wonder if he had been surprised by his brother’s behavior today or if a part of him expected this to happen. “He hates me.” You were numb. “I don’t know if you already knew but—“
“—-It’s arranged, I know.” Suguru scoffs under his breath, almost in disbelief that he didn’t figure it out sooner when he first heard about your engagement. Just when he thought his family couldn’t stoop any lower than they already were, they just had to drag a naive girl into their royal messes. His father and stepmother always preached about modernizing the monarchy but, their archaic ways such as actively banishing a woman of the imperial family should they marry a commoner and having some sort of proclivity for disastrous matchmaking through arranged marriages only say otherwise. “Fuck,” he buries his face in his hand, the thought of this predicament was making his head hurt.
You remove the tiara from your head, somehow feeling that a weight has been lifted when you do so. In a span of mere seconds, Suguru now appears exhausted. “I thought he’d at least wait until after the wedding to ignore me for good,” you muttered sadly. “That was fine, you know, him acting like I don’t exist; I know I never stood a chance…against her.”
You recall the way Gojo’s lips locked with Himiko’s in a searing kiss, and the way your heart seemed to disintegrate in your chest as you drove off that day, your eyes on the rearview mirror, heartbrokenly watching the both of them as you convinced yourself that you had no right to feel bad. And that is precisely what makes this situation so difficult; you feel like Satoru is cheating on you when in fact, he isn’t because he never once told you he loved you. You should be angry, furious, crestfallen at your fiancé’s betrayal, but you couldn’t bring yourself to.
“Himiko,” Suguru nods in understanding.
He knows her well, and while he doesn’t exactly have any hard feelings towards her, he acknowledges that having her around in the imperial family is a misstep on Satoru’s part; he’s seen her many times before cajoling Satoru into ditching his royal duties for the two of them to spend time together, he has witnessed how she blatantly disrespects the emperor and the empress, he has also been made aware of the many lustrous gifts she has received out of his younger brother’s pocket.
“Yeah.” Your shoulders slump in defeat. “I never asked him to love me, I’m a lot of things but I’m not a thief.” You begin to shed tears as you try to convince yourself that you were perfectly fine with Satoru never loving you. You were so confused. Did you want him to love you? Are you now finding yourself craving for his ocean eyes to gloss over with an emotion other than hatred, an emotion similar to love?
Suguru watches you intently as these silent questions fly over your head. “You’d never ask him to love you but you love him…otherwise, why would you be on the verge of tears all the time whenever we talk about something remotely related to him if you didn’t?”
You swallowed harshly. “Is it so wrong though? To feel cheated on knowing we were never together in the first place?” You’ve been wondering about that since the day of the public announcement of your engagement and you’ve searched your heart for answers from the minute you wake up to the moment you fall asleep on your tear-stained pillow.
Suguru looks pensive for a moment, taking a deep breath before he speaks. “No, there’s nothing wrong with that. The heart wants what it wants, it’s pointless to even try to understand it.”
“But I don’t want my heart to want him.” You shook your head. You were going to be in for a world of hurt if you even entertained the idea of falling in love with Satoru Gojo. “He’ll never forgive me for it.”
A sad smile creeps up your face at the thought of Satoru admonishing you, one day, for saying you loved him even at his worst. Being in your early twenties, this was the age of recklessly falling in love, like a car speeding on an empty highway showing no signs of stopping, while you desperately look for the brakes.
A larger hand eventually finds its place above yours, his thumb gently rubs your knuckles that have turned white as you clenched them into fists to stop you from crying and making an even bigger fool of yourself.
“It’s not your fault. To be loved by another is a privilege most people overlook.”
You glance over at Himiko again, and then at yourself: you wore the dress but you weren’t the bride. You had the ring but not his affection. Feeling your gaze, Himiko looks at you for a brief moment and an exchange of sorts occurs between you and her: two women desperately envying one another. You had the vote of the people, yet, she had his heart. Almost in condolence, she offers you a curt nod before turning away.
“You are exactly the kind of girl he needs, (Y/N),” Suguru offers you his handkerchief to dry your tears with. “He’ll need you.”
“He’ll never want me.”
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At exactly 2:35 in the afternoon, two hours and five minutes after you set foot at the chapel, Satoru arrives in a proxy vehicle, disguised as some foreign dignitary who arrived late. He steps out of the car behind yours and a collective sigh of relief washes over everyone. You craned your head back to see him dressed in the attire you first saw him in, a blank expression on his face as he was approached by his courtiers who instructed him on what to do.
Suguru looks in the direction of your gaze and he hurriedly steps out, squeezing your hand a final time as he does. A confused expression flashes over Satoru’s face when he sees Suguru step out of the bridal car. What was he doing there? According to the protocol sheet, wasn’t Ijichi supposed to be the one to accompany you today?
“Suguru,” Satoru greets his half-brother. “How’s she doing?” He suddenly asks about your well-being which causes Suguru to be taken aback for a second.
“She’s been crying but I think she’ll be fine now that you’re here,” Suguru informs him, looking back at the bridal car where you were. The older of the princes pulls the younger aside for a bit. “Where were you? She’s been waiting for more than an hour and—is that—?” He suddenly stops mid-lecture when he sees a bruise on the corner of Satoru’s bottom lip. Then, he recalls the hickey he saw on Himiko’s neck. “Satoru,” Suguru bites his lip to stop him from scolding Satoru.
What irks Suguru is that Satoru doesn’t even bother to hide it with the palm of his hand or even show a scintilla of regret. Did he really just fuck Himiko on the day of his wedding? “It was a farewell gift,” Satoru shrugs. “Besides, I’m here now, does it really matter?”
“Yes, it does,” Suguru pinches the bridge of his nose. “You’ve no idea the amount of trouble you caused (Y/N) today, how are you even going to begin to make it up to her?” Not like Satoru plans to make it up to you. In his eyes, you should be on your knees thanking him for showing up at all.
Satoru clears his throat, fidgeting with his left epaulet. “I did nothing wrong.” He believes every word he says. He did nothing wrong, he has nothing to make up for when it comes to you. He never betrayed you, there isn’t a relationship to ruin in the first place. “Himiko did nothing wrong to her and still, she’s suffering the consequences of my actions which shouldn’t be the case since, if I can remember correctly, if it weren’t for her intervention, if she hadn’t stepped in at the last second, you’d be visiting your own brother in jail.”
“Well, if you deserve it, I’ll even bring some snacks,” Suguru counters, earning a harsh warning glare from Satoru. He takes a second to steady himself before continuing. “Look, Satoru, what you did that night isn’t something that’s easily made up for like your little affair with Himiko.” Gojo scoffs in response to that. “You didn’t just hurt our family this time, or that man you brutalized, you hurt the entire nation. And you have to at least make some effort to clean up after yourself—“
“—By making my life a living hell without the woman I love? Forced instead to be with the likes of her? How is forcing the two of us to marry for some shitty publicity stunt any more evil than everything I’ve done in the past?” Isn’t that what they all thought of him?
“—She’s not doing anything evil, she did nothing to hurt you—“
“—She did everything to hurt me by forcing me into this marriage, ripping me from the future I dreamed of with Himiko, so you don’t dare make her out to be some saint because she isn’t.”
A hush descends on the two brothers: one who’s made it his life’s mission to despise you and one who’ll vouch for your integrity. The two stare each other down, wondering how it was possible they shared a father yet they couldn’t be more different. Perhaps, it’s the fact that Suguru was never the empress’s child, rather, he was born of a common woman – a reluctant homewrecker, which would explain, at least to Satoru, why he’s so protective of you. A whore’s son will defend a whore.
Geto doesn’t see you step out of the car, you must have heard the commotion outside the car when Satoru arrived. You blankly stare at Satoru for a good minute who seems to have just finished up a heated discussion with his brother. He looked angry, but why should that surprise you? Some of the imperial household staff encourage you to re-enter the car until the prince has made his way to the altar, but you couldn’t listen, you were simply at a loss for words.
He was here.
Almost three hours late, but he's finally here.
Satoru scowls when he sees you. He’s tried his best to be civil with you, but from what he’s heard from Suguru just now, you were clearly turning everyone against him. Sensing his anger, you tilt your head down for any crime you could have committed whether knowingly or unknowingly, but it seems more like the latter since he always finds something new to hate about you, an act that came so effortlessly to him.
“I don’t want to hear another word about (Y/N) from you.” Satoru turns his wrathful gaze to his brother who simply matches his death glare with a bored and disappointed look. Suguru lets out a tiny ‘tch’ at Satoru’s command, his hatred for you is an established fact, after all, and not just some rumor he’s heard from a jittery bride — the very sound of your name was like nails on a chalkboard to him.
Suguru couldn’t believe this. Satoru has been the one willfully hurting you ever since the two of you had that under-the-table arrangement with the empress yet, he had the sheer nerve to act like he was the one being wronged. While he understands his brother’s sentiments, you didn’t want any part in this in the first place, and whatever has driven you to this point of gambling your entire future on a man who doesn’t love you must be something that could persuade you to put up with this torture. “Is that a request or a command?” Suguru says flatly, the two men watching you get briefed by the floor director like some actress for a commercial shoot.
“A command from your emperor.”
“Fortunately, you’re not the emperor yet.”
Suguru promptly leaves to take his place beside you, nodding to Satoru to get moving and head to the altar already. You shakily take Suguru’s hand, waiting for the doors to open to restart the ceremony. “He looks angry.” You watch your groom storm to the back of the cathedral. Suguru wants to kick himself, the last thing you needed was Satoru to take out his anger on you once the two of you are alone.
“Sorry, I’m sure it’s just another one of his tantrums. He’ll cool down.” You sincerely hoped that was true. The last thing you need is Satoru getting even with you by suddenly walking up to Himiko and obscenely reciting his vows to her, though you were unaware that the two of them had indeed made a vow to continue loving one another earlier today whilst you were being publicly humiliated by domestic and international media for your failure of a wedding day.
You watch as Himiko scurries to the back of the cathedral as well, and you feel bile rise in your throat at the mere thought of what they could be doing behind closed doors. “Don’t even think about it, (Y/N). Don’t,” Suguru says firmly. “Just keep your eyes forward, and concentrate on taking one step at a time.”
“I can’t. I just can’t.” You can’t shake them out of your head no matter how hard you try. “The more I try to forget about them, the more I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“Think of something else,” Suguru suggests. “Anything else.”
The last thing you need right now is imagining Himiko and Satoru obscenely murmuring whispers of love to one another, assuming that that’s the worst they could do. But from what Satoru told him earlier, Suguru might need an anti-hypertensive, enraged at the thought of those two literally screwing one another while you were out here on the verge of an emotional breakdown waiting for a groom who can’t be bothered to show up on time.
“Five minutes ‘till the doors open. Everyone, please stand by now,” Ijichi peeks out of one of the cathedral’s entrances, eyeing you particularly, as the great double doors slowly creak open, again revealing the majestic interior of the cathedral. Ijichi holds up a hand, signaling you to wait for the Trumpet Voluntary to start playing. You hold your breath then at the sound of the first chord, you and Suguru begin to walk down the altar.
It’s a long way to the front but the sheer distance between you and him couldn’t dull Satoru’s inimitable contrarian beauty, a prose you simply can’t understand. “Don’t look anywhere else. Focus on the act, focus on what you can see,” Suguru reminds you but really you get what he’s trying to say. Don’t go looking for Himiko.
And the only person you can see right now is him, Satoru, the man you are falling for at such a dangerous acceleration that if you were in a car on the freeway, you’d crash and burn in a heap of scorched gasoline in your crazed attempt to outrun these shittyass feelings.
You gulp as you continue on. How is this taking forever? Step by step, you are racing to your own demise. You just know it. But the doors are closed behind you, forever separating you from your past, there is only him. A bitter future.
“Suguru,” The two of you reach the nave of the cathedral, and just a few meters away from the altar, you stop on cue and wait for Satoru to lead you up the steps, towards the altar where the Archbishop of Tokyo is standing. “Thank you for being there for me.”
“Well, it was either me or Ijichi.”
Satoru begins to descend down the steps and a look of annoyance passes through his features when he sees you and Suguru chuckling to one another like you’ve been friends for the longest time. But then again, he can’t really seem to complain, having you off his back because you’re all too busy being chummy with Suguru doesn’t seem to be too bad. Satoru casts a glance towards Himiko and then over to you.
“Let’s go.” Satoru takes your hand and you are surprised at how he doesn’t seem to have any intention to drag you towards the archbishop. Nodding, you follow your groom’s lead. The ceremony is foreign, no other imperial couple has ever been married in a Christian ceremony so, even Satoru, who has been born to know all the imperial customs, is left trailing off and even, stuttering at some points during the entire affair.
Eventually, the two of you tide miraculously through it and in just one hour, you aren’t (Y/N) (L/N) anymore, but instead, you are Princess (Y/N) Gojo, the wife of the crown prince. The usual kiss between the bride and the groom is omitted to preserve the usual custom for an imperial Shinto wedding. As the archbishop and the other key religious figures in Japan gather behind you and the prince, your maid of honor, Utahime, solemnly bows before you with your bouquet in her hands. You turn just a bit to greet her and something catches Satoru’s eye now that your veil was no longer obstructing your features.
It can’t be.
The Tokyo Philharmonic Orchestra begins to play the recessional and you and Satoru bow before the emperor and empress, traveling down the aisle, your hands interlocked. Somewhere halfway through to the cathedral doors, you feel Satoru gripping your hand a little more aggressively than usual. “Satoru?”
He’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. Surely, you wouldn’t. How on earth did you find those earrings? Unless, someone had snuck into his room and nabbed it while he was asleep earlier. Something in Satoru tells him that you probably didn’t know and that you probably didn’t do it intentionally — stealing from him — but that doesn’t excuse the fact that you’re wearing it like it’s yours when clearly, it didn’t belong to you.
Satoru never thought he’d see it again, having kept it locked up in his drawer of memories past their due date to be completely forgotten. He never thought it would ever see the light of day again. But here they were, still in mint condition, reminding him of everything that has slipped through his fingers and everything he has destroyed thus far.
“Not here,” he hisses, glaring at you and that’s enough to get you to shut up.
Satoru has been indifferent up to this point, and sure, he may be seeing someone else but he is normally civil with you, with a few occasional snarky comments muttered under his breath, but he has made every effort to keep a handle on his emotions. Not once has he ever seemed as angry as he is now. But the scary thing is, you don’t even know what you’ve done other than wrench him away from Himiko and even that was unintentional on your part.
You make it to the car and he slides up the privacy shutter so the driver doesn’t hear a word. It’ll take a few minutes for the convoy to get moving en route back to the Asakusa Palace, the imperial palace that had been originally built to serve as the crown prince’s chief residence before it was turned into a state guesthouse by the National Diet.
Settling into the seat next to you, Satoru’s breaths are ragged trying to control himself from choking the life out of you. His voice comes out, a dangerous edge to it. “Where’d you get those?” He asks this question like one wrong move or syllable could cost you dearly.
“What—?” And as expected it does when you don’t reply quickly enough, not exactly knowing what he’s talking about.
With one swift movement, Gojo abruptly yanks off the earring off your right ear causing you to gasp in shock as it shatters in his grip. “I-I don’t know what you mean…!” you pleaded with him.
“You little thief,” Satoru stares down at the crushed earrings for a while before flinging it onto the car floor. “When did you steal this? Who did it for you?” He hits you with a fusillade of accusatory questions and you whimper in fear. Just like a kicked dog, Satoru rolls his eyes at you. “Answer me!”
“I didn’t steal them!” you protest your innocence. “Please, you have to believe me!”
Satoru punches the window of the car next to you, cutting off any more of your pleas, they’ll fall on deaf ears anyway. “Did you order one of the servants? Maybe Ijichi? Who stole this for you?” He asks again.
“N-no one I swear!” you inched away from him.
A huff escapes his lips when he realizes he isn’t getting anywhere with this and Gojo finally relents after what seemed like an eternity of him holding your head underwater. Your breath comes out in shaky huffs, utterly afraid. You look even uglier now with that expression, he rolls his eyes. “Don’t look at me like that.” The monarch sneers at the horrified look on your face. “Like you don’t deserve any of this.”
You wanted to speak against that but he’s right. You should have known that every one of your actions wouldn’t go unpunished on Satoru’s watch when, as he unfailingly implies every time the two of you are within ten feet of each other, you’ve single-handedly ruined his and Himiko’s entire lives.
“You’re right.”
He feels a wave of annoyance at how pliant you sound, struggling to remain calm after lashing out on you like that. He looks over at you, his mind filled with a mixture of anger and just a tiny bit of remorse when he sees your pained expression. He’s aware that what he did was out of line, and while he normally gets into spats with others, he’s never one to lay a hand on a woman much less even think about doing something of that magnitude.
“You know, when you ran away that night when we met at that restaurant, you should have gone straight home.”
That way, you’d be spared from all this despair. He almost sounds regretful for what he did and what he will continue to do, but he really didn’t mind if he never knew your name in the first place.
“That would have made the most sense, yeah.” It’s quiet in the car despite the thundering cheers outside. Satoru looks pensieve, his lips pursed into a thin line. “But there weren’t any taxis that night and the empress is pretty agile for her age.”
“What did she say? Did she offer you money?” Satoru casts you a disgusted look.
You wonder if you should tell him. You doubt there’d be another chance for you to tell him the real reason you agreed to marry him. There won’t be another vulnerable moment like this, you just know it. Satoru deserved to know why you’d kill yourself over and over again in your ill-fated quest to love him, to accept him.
Somehow, you can’t help but feel you’re so dishonest compared to him, at least, Satoru had the decency to be casually cruel and brutally honest about Himiko to you, making no attempt to hide the plain fact that he doesn’t love you and he never will. But at the same time, you don’t want to make things even more difficult for him by burdening him with the truth, so you settle on maintaining your silence. He could believe whatever he wanted to believe, not that he’ll ever change his opinion of you.
“You’re not even gonna deny it?” Satoru sneers.
“Even if I do, you’ll never believe me.”
How could he? All you’ve done and all you will do from this point on is lie, lie, lie. Lie that you married him without accepting any personal favors from the empress, lie that you don’t deserve half of what’s happening to you right now, lie that you don’t feel physically sick when you see Himiko — the very woman you’ve trampled on, the woman closest to his heart — lie that everything will eventually turn out alright, lie that you’re not dying every second a hate-filled syllable falls from his lips, lie that you could ever stop this mad freeway chase of loving Satoru Gojo.
But the freeway is empty, your opponents long gone, the stoplight to doomsday is perpetually green, and all that’s left is a husband that wishes you were dead. You dejectedly take off the earrings’ pair and set it down on the seat in between the two of you, returning another thing you unwittingly stole from him.
Eventually, the convoy reaches Asakusa Palace and on the historic balcony of the 19th century Western-style palace, he takes your hand as the members of the imperial family wave to the crowd, thinking this day to be a hard-won triumph. Satoru meets your lips for the first time, you are left taken aback at the forced gesture, but there is warmth in that eternal split second that you felt his hot breath against yours, maybe some affection even.
But then again, you are known to be a delusional optimist who still believes her mother who has been in a coma for almost three years now will one day wake up.
Satoru pulls back his eyes that have been wide-open during the kiss scanning over your face and he sees nothing. Nothing at all worth loving. You were just simply you, and that in his eyes, is your biggest crime. You don’t show up to the wedding reception.
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That same night, Satoru doesn’t show up to your room either. Instead, he sits in the dark of his office, staring at the earrings he recovered from you under the yellowish light of his desk lamp. His fingers brush over the ruined bejeweled earrings; no one will be able to use it now. Somehow, he feels he should apologize to you for scaring you like that. You should, he could almost hear her say.
He sighs deeply, looking over at his ashtray. Not bad, he expected he would finish an entire pack tonight, but he’s only made it to four before he started coughing. She never really liked his habit of smoking anyway.
The door to the study creaks open breaking the silence, but Satoru doesn’t look up, only one person would be brave enough to intrude in his office past dark. The crisp floral smell of top-shelf whiskey fills the air. “Got you something to drink.” Himiko sets down the glencairn on the desk, planting a kiss on Satoru’s lips which he surprisingly doesn’t return with equal devotion much to her dismay.
Her eyes then fell on the jewelry piece Satoru was holding. “Did someone else go into my room today?” That alone could explain how the highly-revered Golconda diamond earrings fell into your hands. It wouldn’t be hard to steal since the night before, whilst he was searching for a lousy wedding gift he could give you, he accidentally left the earrings outside its dedicated safe.
Himiko stiffens at the question, but she quickly recovers her composure. A hysterical woman like you could never hope to win Satoru over the same way she has. “I don’t know, I didn’t see someone on my way out,” Himiko shrugs.
“Did you at least see them still sitting on my nightstand on your way out?”
“I didn’t notice.”
Somehow, Satoru finds that a little difficult to believe but he knows she wouldn’t lie to him. “I saw (Y/N) wearing these earlier today.” He places the earrings back in their respective box, tucking it away, and making a mental note to chuck it in the safe later tonight before he goes to bed.
Himiko’s throat runs dry as she wracks her head for a response. “Oh?” She moves to sit on his lap, her arms wrapping around his shoulders. “I’m guessing you got pretty angry.”
“I did,” Satoru sighs. “But I just can’t wrap my head around one thing.”
“What’s that?” Himiko asks softly. Her heart was pounding in her chest. The last thing she needs is for her little plan to get Satoru to be angry with you on your wedding day to backfire. “Look, haven’t we already established that she’s a golddigger? Are you really that surprised she stole them?”
Satoru shrugs.
It doesn’t add up.
He understands that you might have shown interest in it, and maybe it did cross your mind to steal them, but how could you have known these pieces existed? It’s not like you ordered one of your ladies or retainers to specifically steal the Golconda earrings, it just didn’t make sense to him, even then, some of your retainers might not even be aware that such a thing existed especially since most of them have only been recruited by the Imperial Household Agency recently.
“Look, why don’t we just forget about it, hmm? We could sneak out and go for a drive somewhere. I’m sure (Y/N) won’t mind,” Himiko presses open-mouthed kisses up Satoru’s neck, her hand coming up to fondle him through his slacks. “Come on, you need some cheering up.”
“I’m not driving at this hour, we could stay here.”
Satoru’s eyes flutter close at the sensation, his hand gripping Himiko’s slender waist, allowing her to continue her ministrations. He did need some cheering up after today’s dismal affair. But at the same time, he can’t stop his thoughts from wandering away from how Himiko is unbuttoning his shirt. Damn it. Satoru can’t focus on her, it’s like his normally calculated mind descended into a valley of fog.
Himiko grimaces at Satoru’s lack of attention. She quickly stops her futile attempts at intimacy. “Just stop thinking about them. You got them back, didn’t you?” she says, a hint of frustration laced in her voice. “Besides, even if (Y/N) did steal them, it’s not like you’d have any use for them anymore.”
Something stirs within Satoru and before he could stop himself, a flash of anger appears on his usually calm and flirtatious demeanor when he’s with Himiko. “That’s not the point. You know very well what those earrings mean to me.”
He’s shared it with her before. She knows everything about him, more so than anyone who has ever known anyone else on an intimate level before. There exists a version of Gojo that only Himiko knows, and keeps like a sacred prayer. Which is exactly why Satoru is livid about her downplaying the importance of everything he keeps in his safe, his personal mausoleum of the warmest spring of his youth that he would have longed for still had it not been for Himiko.
Himiko, for once, allows herself to be vulnerable even if for just a bit. And a look of pure hurt takes over her lovestruck demeanor earlier. But that is instantly replaced with anger. Anger at Satoru for continuing to hold onto things that should have no meaning anymore because she’s here now. Loving him is a dangerous game, what else could she expect from a man who is caught between the past and the future?
“Forget it.” Satoru stands up, shrugging Himiko off his lap. “I’ll find out one way or another. You should go home.”
Himiko painfully picks up on the fact that Satoru told her to ‘go home’ and not ‘head to bed’, meaning she won’t be sleeping with him tonight. Satoru runs a hand through his mop of white hair, calling Ijichi. He knows it’s late but Ijichi should still be in the premises right now.
“Ijichi? I’m heading out.”
“What now? It’s two in the morning. You still have a ribbon-cutting ceremony to go to with the princess tomorrow.”
“Just get over here right now, I won’t take long.” He’ll still show up to that stupid ribbon-cutting at the Tokyo University of the Arts with you tomorrow. Speaking of you, he should probably refrain from doing such things again. He begins to think of ways he could, in a way, make it up to you for his behavior but that doesn’t mean you’re out of the frying pan just yet.
Just because he’s suspicious about these circumstances doesn’t mean that he believes your desperate plea earlier that you didn’t attempt to steal an integral part of his past. No one could replace the person whom those earrings first belonged to. Not even the woman standing in front of him right now, the object of his desires, the source of your pain.
“What? You’re going there again? Don’t tell me you’re still hoping she’ll answer for once.” Himiko’s nostrils flared in anger at the thought of Satoru leaving.
“Don’t push it, Himiko.” Satoru takes a dangerous step towards her which causes her to somehow, for the first time in her life since she met the prince, shrink in fear. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”
“You’re already hurting me!”
What Satoru says next is like a bullet being fired through a thin sheet of glass.
“(Y/N) is enduring far worse than you and not once have I heard her complain or throw a tantrum like you’re doing now.”
Satoru leaves immediately after, ignoring Himiko’s angry cries. He comes back at about eight o’clock the next morning to see your newly framed wedding photo shattered on the floor next to a crumpled up picture of another person whose name Satoru couldn’t even speak without bursting into bitter tears midway.
How ironic it is to be married on the day he lost her.
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water’s edge taglist: @dummyf @kentokaze @esthelily @mandysfanfics @userbananababes @strawberryjimin13 @snowprincesa1 @naturallyspontaneous @kooromin @gojoist @dcvilxswish @13-09-01 @peachipeachy @iluv-ace @sawendel @helloitsshitzulover @jjuniescuderia @ackermendick @starrylibras @timetobegone @heelariously @idktbhloley @jeon-blue @8aif9sgbsnn @purpleguk @rednezvous @yeseurri @floralsightings @yoheyyosup @dontwannacry04 @dragonladyy @darling006 @ethereally-lyann @nikitopia (still open!)
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marvelouslizzie · 5 months
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Why Are You Doing This To Me?
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summary: Your ex-boyfriend Bucky Barnes wrote two songs about (for) you and you don’t know what to do.
pairing: Ex!Rockstar!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
warnings: Angst, a past failed relationship, pettiness, jealousy, anger, a lot of emotions, no mention of y/n.
word count: 2.3K
A/N: I have been away for a while because I was busy learning another language aka Dutch. I still am but at least I am done with my big exam. As soon as I was done with it, I found myself writing again.
This is a random idea that just popped into my head while listening to music and taking a walk. Pure angst for some reason. Usually, I go for smutty ideas but bear with me.
>> indicates incoming messages and << indicates outgoing messages in this story.
Thank you @notafunkiller for proofreading and editing this so fast ❤️
All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.
Keep reading tag starts after the second paragraph of the story.
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>> Hey! I know you don’t want to hear anything about Bucky, but I think you should check these out. I think he wrote these songs for you.
Two links from Spotify follow the text you received from one of your best friends, and you stare for a while, trying to decide what to do. You really don’t want to hear his voice. Not because you don’t like his singing or his songs, but you wanted to get back on your feet. It would be impossible if you kept listening to his songs. Besides, hearing his voice has always softened you. And your best friend knows this. She knows a lot about your relationship, how everything went down, and how you two eventually broke up. If she didn't think you should listen to these songs, she wouldn't be sending you these links, right?
You take a deep breath and click on the first link. The song starts to play, and you notice the soft vibe right away. It’s not particularly Bucky’s style. He sounds like he’s in pain but he's singing with such clarity that surprises you.
He talks about how much he regrets the things he didn’t do when he was with you. How he misses you so much every day. How much he wants to call you, but he’s afraid that you won’t pick up the phone or worse, you will talk to him like a stranger. He says he always knew how precious you were, yet he took you for granted.
The lyrics flow flawlessly. It sounds like poetry to your ears. The way he expressed himself so beautifully… You can’t believe he wrote such a heartfelt song about you, and it’s not even his style. He’s a freaking rockstar. He usually writes about sex, rock and roll, and drugs. Not feelings. Then the song finally reaches the chorus and his words make you freeze. 
“You are the love of my love.”
Did he really just say that? Did he just call you the love of his life? You feel this rush of emotions, and it’s hard to distinguish what you are actually feeling. It makes it harder to think, harder to focus on anything else other than the fact that this song is for you. That’s when you notice the name of the song. It’s the Love of My Life.
Suddenly, you start to feel angry. Every other emotion just takes a backseat. You hate him. So fucking much! Why is he always like this? Saying everything a little too late. Was it so hard for him to tell you this when you wanted to find just one reason to stay with him? You begged him to communicate with you maybe a million times. He always said it was not easy for him to put his feelings into words. Good or bad. It didn’t matter. He always struggled with his emotions. You tried your best. You tried to show him that he could trust you, that you would always be there for him, but it didn’t matter in the end. You felt like you were the only one trying to make this relationship work.
That’s when you decided to give up. It felt like he just didn’t care enough. He didn’t put any effort into changing things or making you feel like you weren’t just beating a dead horse.
You hoisted the white flag and moved on with your life. That’s when he decides to put whatever he feels into words. Instead of talking to you, he makes a song about it. Then he puts it out into the world. 
What a fucking asshole!
It takes you a while to realize the song is over as the silence fills the room. As much as you hate how he chose to do this, the silence disturbs you. It might be a little too late, but you still want to hear what he has to say. Your own rules about not listening to any of his songs instantly go out the window.
You open the messaging app and click on the second link. This one sounds a little bit more like his usual style. The name of the song though, instantly catches your attention this time. It’s one of the nicknames he used often for you. 
He starts the song by saying that he knows how selfish he is. That he has no right to feel this way, but he just saw you with someone else and he hated how it made him feel. He talks about how jealous he is. How he can’t help but imagine you in that guy’s arms. Then he realized you might call him baby, just like you used to call him. Then he continues by begging you not to call him baby, how he wants you to save that pet name for him even though he’s not in your life anymore.
There are so many details throughout the song that indicate he’s talking about you, there is no mistaking. He calls you by your nickname, saying how he loves the way you talk passionately about your interests, how compassionate you are, and how much effort you put into maintaining your relationship but he was too stupid and pathetic to appreciate them.
Every word that comes out of his mouth makes you even angrier. How dare he? How dare he write a song like this for you? After everything you have been through, after all the effort you put into your relationship, after every heartbreak… He realizes how much he values you just because he saw you with someone else.
Selfish bastard!
He has no right to put these words out there. He has no right to feel jealous. You are not his anymore. You can call someone else baby if that’s what you want. How dare he try to dictate to you like this? It makes you wanna call someone up and go out on another date and call him baby, just in spite.
The problem is, it’s just your stubborn nature talking. Before this song, you didn’t even think about calling someone else baby. You didn’t feel like it. Subconsciously, you were reserving that pet name for him. And that fucker knew it. He just knew it!
You exhale deeply, trying to calm yourself down. The song is over, but you can still hear him singing in your head. The song is so beautiful. Petty but so fucking beautiful. He sounds like he poured his heart out without caring how vulnerable it makes him look. 
Another deep breath, you try to understand which date he is talking about. You have been on a couple of dates since you two broke up. You were so dedicated to moving on. You didn’t care if it would hurt him. Because he didn’t care about how much he hurt you all those times you tried your hardest to make things work. So you went out with a couple of gentlemen. Some of them were decent, and some of them were downright horrible. Dating is just as tedious as you remembered. A lot of assholes out there who don’t care who they are hurting. You didn’t get hurt, though. You didn't care enough about any of them to give them the power to hurt you.
Then it finally hits you. He’s talking about your date with that motherfucking movie star! That one was big news for a while. You got photographed two, maybe three times together.
You really looked like you were having fun in those photos. Truthfully, you were, he was such a funny guy. He knew how to make fun of himself. You were just so tired of pretentious asses. It was refreshing. That’s why you said yes to a second and a third date. Then he was off to a European country to shoot his next movie. You had a fun and it was more than enough for you. 
You precisely remember that tabloids started to talk about how perfect you two were for each other. God, that must have gotten under his skin. You can’t help but laugh. He’s so predictable. He just couldn’t bear to see you with someone else, but can you blame him?
You remember seeing something similar about him, but in that case, he wasn’t on a date with the girl. They were just working together for some lame-ass project he would normally despise. Maybe he was trying to keep himself busy, who knows? You remember so vividly how she was looking at him like she wanted to eat him up. As if that wasn’t enough, she kept praising him, calling him the best rockstar of the century just to get in his pants. You have no idea if it worked or not, but it was enough to make you feel jealous. So can you blame him for feeling the same?
It just makes you realize you want to listen to those songs again. It’s maybe too little too late but you still want to hear him. You wanted him to talk about his feelings for such a long time and he’s finally doing it. Through a song but still, he’s doing it. It isn’t exactly communicating because communication must be two-sided, right? That’s what was missing in your relationship. You were talking, pleading, trying while he was keeping everything in. You feel like the roles are reversed. Now he’s the one talking, pleading, and trying, and you just don’t know what to do. How the tables have turned.
The second time around, you notice other details you missed the first time. Like peaceful walks you took together whenever you had the time or how you always used fake names when you two traveled together. You can’t help but miss those days. Even though you had problems, being with him always felt so safe and peaceful. You have no idea how he managed to make you feel that way. Maybe that’s why it took you so long to end the relationship. You still miss the way you felt back then. As if you two could overcome anything together, yet you couldn’t. Because you didn’t work together. You were alone, struggling to make him talk.
Then he talks about how he still speaks to your friends, and that makes him miss you even more. That part surprises you because none of your friends mentioned that they were still seeing Bucky. Is that because you didn’t let them ever talk about him? You feared if you let yourself talk or think about him, you would go back to the point zero.
He ends the song saying he doesn't want you to be a distant memory, and this sticks with you. Do you want him to be a distant memory?
The second time you listen, you notice how desperate he sounds. The way he pleads doesn’t anger you anymore. You find something you feel in his words. Your own fears, your own selfishness and oh, how much you miss him. You didn’t let yourself admit that you miss him. You thought acting like he never existed, he was never a part of your life would make everything easier and it did. Just for a while. Lately, it was just a burden. You tried so hard to keep everything inside. Just like he did. You are still trying to do it… to act logically, not emotionally. Does it mean you are making the same mistake he did? Shutting yourself down, not talking about your feelings. Is it the solution or is it a part of the mistake? You can’t tell anymore. You just know that your heart is aching. The sound of his voice makes you want to cry.
God, you hate him so much!
How could he do this to you after all this time?
Is it that easy to get under your skin or was he always there?
You feel like you are about to explode because of all the emotions you are going through. On one hand, Bucky communicating with you is everything you wanted. On the other hand, isn’t it too late? And why did he write not one but two songs about you? Declaring his love to the world…
You repeat that last bit in your head. He’s declaring his love to the world.
He’s no longer afraid to talk about his emotions. He wants you to hear them, millions of other people are just the bonus. He’s not afraid to show how fucking miserable he feels. He just wants you back.
He’s doing his bit in communicating, but unless you don’t do something about it, it won’t matter. It will be another attempt in vain. You aren’t sure if you want to repeat the same pattern. You notice the song is over when your phone chimes. It’s your best friend again.
>> Did you listen?
<< Yeah.
>> How are you feeling?
<< Confused.
<< Are you still talking to him?
>> Yeah we all are.
<< Why didn’t you tell me that?
>> You said you didn’t wanna hear anything about him and we just respected your decision.
Just like you thought. You can’t blame them. Anytime someone mentioned anything remotely related to Bucky, you either changed the subject or found a reason to leave. So you can’t help but wonder…
<< How is he doing?
>> Not great. He misses you.
<< I miss him too.
>> Are you gonna call him?
You look at the message for a long minute. Are you gonna call him? That’s the question. Maybe you should. Maybe you shouldn’t. Both of the options sound equally wrong. You have no idea what to do.
<< I don’t know what to do.
>> Just give him a call. He’s the love of your life.
You have no idea how long you have looked at that text. Maybe for a couple of minutes, maybe for an hour. 
He’s the love of your life.
He’s a bastard, but he really is the love of your life.
And you are the love of his life.
Where do you go from here? You look at your phone once again. You finally know what to do.
798 notes · View notes
iaeriy · 3 months
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affected // jude bellingham x reader
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summary; jude never realizes how you’ve affected him and his life.
word count; 4k
warnings; angst, situationship, playboy! jude, smut, slapping.. unprotected sex, fingering, missionary..
a/n; once again.. not proofread! for a friend of mines & for my jude girlies, anything in bold is flashbacks &&&& sorry if this is bad..this is also based off my experiences im still going through.. anywho..enjoy! 🎀🐾
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aching, that’s how it felt the day you saw him hanging out with a lot of girls after he kept coming back to you everytime and you would take him back. you had enough of him but something in you always craved for him, no matter what it was. anything you used to do that you did with him, you found yourself stopping and breaking down, your heart would ache, it even ached your hands and all over your chest. anytime you would open up the social media you’d see recent events of jude, him with a new girl maybe at least a few times a week or seen walking out of their homes. it upsetted you in so many ways, you didn’t know what to do, you stayed home avoiding everybody. even text messages and calls from him. you always took him back, after every little mistake he did, after playing with your heart & using you for when he didn’t have anybody around that time. small glimpses of any memory you two shared would hit you, no matter where you were or how you were feeling, it always ruined your day. it hurt you when you realized you weren’t his world, you were his side piece, only something he needed when he was desperate and much more you could never explain. you were the other woman, because he knew you fell in his trap so many attempt’s because you were in love, a love that you somewhat never experienced but with him. a love that had you in awe from head to toe, a love that had you attached. he knew your weaknesses, he knew the things you thought about with him. he knew the things you did for him and threw it away like nothing mattered because there was always other women throwing themselves at him, and he enjoyed it. you cried for days & days.
that was now a month ago.. without him but his text messages would return, even his calls.
you were now in the couch sitting down criss cross reading your book, it was a cloudy windy day and you had gotten back from visiting your mom at her home for lunch as she had promised. your phone was slowly getting tons and tons of messages, nobody but jude himself and you managed to avoid them. you stared at the vase of flowers he had gotten you, you sighed as you put ur book away before walking over to the island counter, there had been a card next to the flowers but you never opened, afraid that you’d burst out in ears and you’ll be begging back for him. you sighed, ‘fuck it’ you thought before you grabbed the note slowly before opening it, your heart already racing as you felt your heart thumping in your ears, you slowly read the note as tears started to form in your eyes. what were you thinking, why would you do this in the first place. you put the note back next to the card as you wiped your tears before making your way to your coach, you laid down before grabbing the blanket. suddenly you closed your eyes and there you were again.
“jude! did you really get me this!?” you said as your eyes were widened looking at the vase of the flowers, purple and baby pink. just like how you loved those colors, “yes i did, do you love them?” he said as you smiled nodding your head at him, “what for?” you said putting them on the isle as he chuckled, “because i love you so much sweetie.” he said as he stood behind you, hugging you behind. his hands wrapping around your waist befofe you turned around, “i love you a lot..you know that..” you said as he smiled slightly, “me too.” he said as you giggled booping his nose before he picked you up, you bursted out giggling as he smiled. “you’re so pretty..” he said, a pink tint brushing over your cheeks before your hands cupped his cheeks. he looked at you as you admired the color of his eyes, you were still blushing before he kissed you, you kissed back giggling before he kept kissing you, he laid you on the couch as you were still giggling before he fell on top of you, “i love you so much..” he murmured in your ear as you looked at him.
you woke up as you were panting for some reason, tears streaming down your face before you got up walking to your bathroom, you washed off your makeup as you sobbed in between washing your face. why would you pick the note up, why did you overthink it a lot. you wiped your tears constantly, your eyes puffy and pink. you walked back to the living room as you sat back down, you kept crying and your chest was hurting. your eyes widening as you looked at your phone, tons and tons of more messages from jude. you sobbed out again before the door knocked, you choked on your breathing as you wiped your tears, “c-coming..!” you said as you wiped your tears again before walking to the door as you opened it, you stood there as your breath hitched. you swallowed down as you felt your eyes water up again, why was he at your door. did he want you for more pleasure? did he want to toy around with you again? did he only want you in his trap again? what did he want. so much was going through your head you attempted to process it in one second. “i kept messaging and messaging you, why didn’t you pick up?” jude said leaning closer to you as you shook your head, “g-get away from me..” you murmured as you looked down not wanting to let him see your teary eyes. “why? what’s wrong now.” he said harshly as you looked up at him, “nothing..just sick..” you said with a tear slipping out of your eyes, knowing you were lying. he looked at you as your hands began shaking, “y-you can..come i-in tho..” you said as he nodded before he walked in to your home.
you looked at him as he looked at you back, “hm?” he said as you shook your head, “why are you..h-here?” you said trying to control your breathing, attempting to calm down knowing this time things get settled and get fixed or you take him back in as nothing happened and fall into his trap. “just wanted to talk to you..” he said as your eyes widened again, more tears slipping out. “n-no..” you murmured shaking your head, “n-no..not this t-time..” you said choking up on a sob as he held your hand, “i promise we can work something out this time..” he said as you shook your head, “we can’t! everytime i take you back, you do stupid stuff! stupid fucking stuff that you think you dont know what it is but you know what you’re doing! it’s not fair!” you said as you slapped his chest, “i-i’m always your stupid option! you only need me when you’re looking for sex.” you yelled out sobbing as you looked at him, your vision blurry from the tears building up. he looked at you, “that’s not me, i promise darling..” he said as you shook your head, “it’s a cycle. you hang out with a girl and suddenly when i try and hang out with somebody you’re onto me, it’s like this every fucking damn time jude! it’s not fair for me!” you said as another tear slipped out again, he looked at you cupping your cheek. “that’s not me it isn’t y/n.”
“you knew what you were doing in some of these things.. you cheated the first time we got back together. you don’t get what i felt!
you said crying again before he glared, “i never cheated. she was all up on me and i was drunk. you obviously don’t get what i tried doing for us neither.” he said as you shook your head, “that’s not fucking true! it was all over the media! are you fucking stupid!?” you said crying as he grabbed you, “that’s not true. quit saying fucking assumptions.” he said as you pushed him off, “assumptions that are true. you fucking dick, it happened TWICE. TWICE JUDE. and yet you don’t give a single fuck about my feelings!” you said as he looked at you again, “i did. i gave you everything you could possibly ask for.” he said before standing up as you stood up, “what i want was a boyfriend. somebody that could love me, not manipulate me and make me feel guilty for the girl i was!” you said before getting up yourself. “just admit it, you don’t know how to love someone properly and you only want sex.”
“even after the second time you cheated. you only needed me around for sex. you’re never wiling to change for me or anything in general, even the media knows it itself. so do i.” you spat out as he chuckled.
“or maybe because i’m the only guy with a better dick, you can’t even get enough of it, after all..” he said leaning close to you, “i fuck you better. and it’s proven.” he whispered as you pushed him off, “get off me!” you said as he smirked, “you’re fucking hilarious y/n. believing all this bullshit your mind comes up with, you’re such a idiot.” he said as you looked at him tearing up, “what?” you said as he looked at you, “here you go crying yet again..” he said rolling his eyes as you bursted out crying one more time, “why can’t you just understand me for once! why can’t we be in this together!” you said as he looked at you, “i do. i understand you. you just don’t get it yourself. i’m telling you, i’ll do whatever you want me to, starting now.” he said crossing his arms as you sobbed out. he wrapped his arms around you, holding you against his chest as you sniffled.
there it was again, hearing his heartbeat against your ear. you suddenly felt your heart flutter..there was your love coming back for him.
“i promsie, i’ll change. i’ll be willing to do whatever it takes, i don’t want to loose you sweetheart, i want you. only you, you taught me things nobody else has as well, deep inside i want you, my heart wants you. i need you in my life.” he said as you shook your head, “don’t lie, you’ve broken promises. promise after promise.” you said as he shook his head, “that wont happen again, i’m willing to try one more time.. you’ve impacted on my life..” he said as you looked at him, he cupped your cheek caressing it as you looked at him. “what are you..” you said softly and confused before he kissed you passionately, you kissed back wrapping your arms around his neck before he held your waist. he laid you down against the couch as your head hit the cushion, you held onto the back of his neck, slightly caressing his skin softly his fingerpads drawing lines on your waist as you hummed in between the kiss before he picked you up.
“take me to the bedroom..” you whispered between the kiss, against his lips as he nodded his head.
he held you before walking to your room as he closed the door, still kissing you..he placed you down as your hands cupped his cheeks, before he tugged on the side of your jeans, you pulled his hand off as you giggled in between the kiss before you bit his bottom lip, a soft wince mewling out his mouth as your tongue slid inside his mouth, exploring every inch of him before he picked you up again. you wrapped your arms around his neck still making out with him so..sloppy & passionately.. as he then placed you on the bed before he slightly towered over you before his hands made their way down to unbutton your jeans, pulling them off before he pulled away from the kiss. both of you breathless and lips all plumped, he took his shirt off tossing it somewhere around the room, you sat up slightly before he pulled the hem of your shirt to then over your head tossing it to the side, he leaned in one more time yet again kissing you deeply. you kissed back before his lips traveled down to your neck as he began to paint wet kisses on your skin, you closed your eyes as you felt his bulge slightly poke your clothed core. you whimpered softly as he bit your neck, he puled away before caressing your cheek. you removed the hairtie holding your ponytail as you let your hair fall down, he chuckled before towering you yet again. your arms placed on the bed as he lowered down, “don’t move..” he said as you nodded your head before he lowered down to your core.
he slightly opened your knees before he kissed your abdomen, “i love you..” he murmured holding your hand as you looked down at him, your cheeks turning pink the second his free hand began pulling down on your panties as they wrapped around your ankle, he chuckled against your core, a soft moan coming out of your lips. “please don’t..” you said whining before he pulled them off your ankles as he burried his face into your wet core, a whiny noise coming out of your throat, his tongue licking long stripes sucking around your clitoral area as your head slowly leaned back, he continued with his mouth sucking around your slit. you whiny moaned again, “o-oh my god j-jude..” his tongue licking your pussy ever inch before his tongue slipped inside your tongue. you gasped as your back slightly arched, your hand gripping his hand as his fingerpad rubbed your hand, your knees slightly closing just a bit, his face covered deep in your cunt. he looked up at you watching your facial expression, your moans being soft and whiny just like how he remembered, your chest rising up and down slowly, as he continued working his tongue all over your pussy, your fingers tangling his curls before he groaned.
you were moaning uncontrollably nearly on the edge of your orgasm, you felt his fingerpad rub the knib of your clit, tears forming into your eyes as your orgasm approached quicker, “j..i’m gonna c-cum..” you said moaning as his finger began pacing up.. you sat up on your elbows chasing your orgasm, throwing your head back your free hand gripping the sheets as your knees began shaking the second you released yourself. you moaned loudly at his tongue, he never stopped..he continued. that’s another thing that drove you crazy, he was wayyyy too drunk in your pussy, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as he chuckled at your emotions. he caressed your abdomen before you looked down at him, you blushed before he pulled away from your pussy, a string of your wetness all over his lips.
he chucked before wiping his mouth as he hovered above you again, “one more time then you can have me..” he said before placing his lips on yours kissing you deeply, you kissed back with a small mmph your hands finding his jaw, caressing his cheek before he held onto your back noticing yoh were sitting up, you continued kissing him deeply, feeling his tongue nearly slip inside your mouth meanwhile being distracted by being kissed.. judes finger slowly roamed down to your cunt again before pushing his two fingers into you. you moaned softly into his mouth as you cupped his cheek, eyes closing..feeling his finger slowly pump in and out of your walls, soft moans spilling in the middle of the kiss as jude swallowed your noises holding onto your back still as his free hand unclipped your bra, letting it loose off your chest, his fingers doing the work by curling up inside you as you leaned your head back, trying to catch your breath yet you were moaning uncontrollably.
you were breathing heavily and moaning in between your sounds, your head rolling back to look at him, a small chuckle coming out of him, “you want more? hmm?” he said, your head nodding slowly up and down before he leaned his forehead against yours. you whimpered looking away, a smack to your boob as you whined, “don’t look away from me baby..” he said before you looked at him, tears building up from your previous orgasm. his fingers thrusting quicker into you, looking up at him. he kissed you again as you kissed back, moaning messily into his mouth..your free hand holding onto his bicep, “close again aren’t ya?” he said before you felt his thumb rub your clit in circles, you moaned loudly as your thighs began shaking, “i-i’m gonna come..” a moan corrupting out your mouth, his thumb increasing his circular movements before you gripped onto the sheets, you moved away from the kiss as you closed your eyes before finding your release, chasing your orgasm, tightening around him. your back falling on the duvet, closing your legs rubbing your thighs as a few noises slipped out your mouth.
you were on the bed, legs shaking and breathing heavily trying to recover from your last two orgasm. suddenly you heard jude pulling his pants down, you looked over at him before you blushed heavily. “shhhh..i’ll be careful..not unless you tell me to move..” he said as you nodded your head, he crawled on the bed placing his hands next to your head..his hand stroking his shaft slowly as he groaned. you looked down whining, your eyes watching him stroke himself as you felt yourself get wetter. he looked up at you, before he chuckled at your reaction..his hand lining himself against your entrance, “look at me.” he said as you nodded your head, you felt him push himself into you. your eyes rolling back feeling his cock stuff you inside, his thick veiny length slowly stretching you out, “..so..big..” you said as he chuckled, leaning his head against your forehead..nearly almost cupping his cheek he held your hand placing it next to your ear, “let me prove it to you..okay?”
he said as you nodded your head, your legs next to his hips before he began to rock his hips slowly against your walls, you and jude already getting noisy, it had been awhile without feeling each other. both of you letting out soft sinful noises, especially you. it felt so good..so so so..delicously. your knees slowly jolting with judes thrust, small groans escaping judes mouth, “look at me..f-fuck baby..watch my cock slip out of..fuuuckkk..you..” he whispered as your eyes rolled back, slowly feeling himself increase his speed. your head leaning back before jude grabbed your chin, “nuh uh..watch, pretty girl.” he said as you whimepred in response before you looked down watching him slip out of you, so easily..
you moaned uncontrollably before resting your head into the duvet, “so wet and tight..” jude murmured before nuzzling his face into your neck, his moans near your ear driving you insane. you felt yourself get wetter and wetter. his thrusts so deeply and slowly.
he cupped your cheek before turning to look at you. a whiny noise coming out of your mouth suddenly coming back to your realization from your frenzy, “hey baby..” he said as you giggled softly in between your moans his hand cupping your cheek..you leaned in before he kissed you hushing your moans. you kissed back, your hands cupping his cheek as well..his cock hitting so deeply making you shut your eyes at some point, you moaned non stop wrapping your legs around his lower back. your free hand scratching his back with your nails, he moaned in between the kiss as his hand placed next to your head massaged around your boob. you bit on his lower lip, french kissing him..his tongue running along the side of your lips. your tongue and judes tongue sliding on each others, both of you matching the energy as you whiny moaned feeling the tips of his finger pinch your nipple. he pulled away as he breathed heavily, a string of saliva breaking the connection before he chuckled, “my favorite thing to do..” he said before thrusting sloppily again.
your wetness coating his inner thighs, sounds of your wetness squelching making you whiny moan in between. you cupped his cheek again, “i l-love you..” you sighed out before kissing him again, he kissed back yet again..his lips were on you before he gripped onto your boob again, his speed increasing at your tightening. you felt yourself at the same state, your orgasm approaching “jude..jude,jude,jude..” you moaned out as he looked at you, “i know sweet girl..i know..” he said a whine coming out your mouth before he began pounding mercilessly into your skin, “o-oh my g-god!” you screamed out, his tip hitting your g-spot. “k-keep going! r-right th-“ you moaned out before jude slightly pressed on your throat, you choked on your moans before he looked down at you, “you’re mine. understand that from now on..and after this..fuck. after this moment..” he said moaning out, your eyes rolling back..his cock perfectly stuffing your pussy.
you let out a cry the second he let go of your throat, you felt your lower stomach slowly starting to burn and warm up your body, more warmer than the hot air sorrounding you and jude, your breathing insanely being heavy as your chest rose like crazy.. the over sensitivity hitting you quickly as the delicous pain felt so so so..good.
you were in heaven, on edge from the intense pain and pleasure roaming your body. your moans getting louder and high pitched, “jude!” you screamed out his name before you gushed all over him, your tightness causing jude to moan loudly just a tad bit before he came inside of you, his cum shooting deep inside you. painting youe walls as you milked him empty from inside, you scratched his back.. your nails deeply caved into the skin of his back.
his head falling on your boobs breathing heavily as you played with his curls, his breathing ragged before you tapped on his shoulder. “hey..l-look at m-me..” you said before he raised his head up looking up at you, “so..did i prove you wrong?” he said chuckling before you giggled with him, “no silly..i want you with me forever..” you said as he smiled, “i love you with all my heart y/n..” he said kissing your lips before you kissed back, “come on now..let’s get you cleaned..” he said.
he sat up before standing up, you sat up as your body felt wobbly. he held you bridal style before walking to your bathroom, he sat you down on the counter before he started the water on your bath, you giggled watching him. “you’re so cute..already doing these stuff for me..” you said before he walked over to you, he kissed your forehead as you smiled. “come on now..” he said smiling before carrying you again, he held your hand helping you get in the tub as you sat in the warm water before he sat in as well behind you.
you leaned your head against his chest as he smiled looking down against you, “can’t get enough of you..” he said kissing your cheek before you giggled.
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natwrites08 · 12 days
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I’m Afraid (Mason x FemReader) 
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Summary: He misunderstood the situation, a suitcase in their closet did not mean anything, she wasn’t leaving him. 
Word Count: 1.8K
Warnings: Angsty and fluffy. 
Prompt:  “Why can’t you just pretend to be happy for me?-at least once, please” 
a/n: This is a request/my own take on it. I love all of her ideas and she messages me privately to discuss and go over her own thoughts. A bit shorter, but I hope you enjoy the story- lots of love, Nat ❤️
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They were a very happy couple, patience and open communication were their best attributes. Until they weren’t, because she became preoccupied with her own life. She was no longer sharing every little detail with him, she was hiding and that worried him- he was already fearing the worst. 
But what did he do? Because she was never quiet or restless around him. She would jump on him the moment he opened the door, gossiping and giggling away about her day. He loved their chaos, never a fan of silence and uncertainty. 
Until he saw that horrible suitcase, already packed, with everything she could possibly need, but he waited. If there was a possibility that she would leave him then she had to do it, there would be no confrontation on his part. 
He hated the thought of breaking up with her, but those thoughts dissolved just as quickly. Out of nowhere she started acting like her usual self. That confused him even more, did he magically fix his wrongdoings? He wholeheartedly accepted his fate of breaking their relationship, he blamed himself without doing anything wrong. 
But they were both confused…
She loved her office job, she was left alone and very rarely would she accept work trips, but she craved a moment of peace away from her routine. She loved Mason but she really wanted to do a solo trip, she just didn’t know how to tell him. She was afraid of his reaction, so she waited till she had to leave. That would be better, not giving him a chance to form an opinion or beg her to stay. 
She was so happy that she bought new outfits and toiletries, and she stored them in her new suitcase. She liked to plan ahead, she just didn't like leaving Mason alone. So when he started to act even more clingy she had no doubts that he snooped around. Yet she never imagined the horrible thoughts that were brewing inside of his brain. 
He also started to be even more affectionate, kissing her in public, something that he never did. To her it felt like he was trying to make up for something, but he had been an angel. Not once neglectful, they were just confused, and even more so when he confronted her. 
His version of confrontation was hugging her from behind as she cooked them a nice soup. He was sniffling and she grew concerned that he was getting sick, but in reality he had been crying. The severity of his worry and guilt made him shed unwanted and silly tears. 
“What’s wrong baby?” His voice cracked as he spoke-
“I’m sorry please don’t leave…” she paused, how did he find out?
“Wait, you know?” He took a step back, surprised by her question. 
“Yes I saw the suitcase” 
“Oh thank goodness…” but he was starting to sound angry. 
“You’re really happy?” he had an offended look- pure disgust adorned his pouty face. 
“I am…can’t wait” 
“ You can’t wait to leave me?” Why did he look hurt? And why did she look baffled? 
“No Mason, I knew you would act like this, that’s why I didn’t tell you…”
“How do you expect me to react, if you’re breaking up with me?” 
“What!” She blinked the shock away, trying to find his humor but she never found it. 
“Have I been horrible to you? Tell me what I did” 
“You did nothing wrong…”
“No, I know that I’ve been neglectful, have I been working too much?” Up until that point she believed that he knew about her work trip. 
“No, but I just don’t understand” 
“What don’t you understand?” His distressed voice had toned down, now he only sounded sad. 
“Why can’t you just pretend to be happy for me?-at least once, please” 
“I don’t have to pretend, I am happy!” They were now picking a fight, an unnecessary and pointless one. He really did love everything about her, he was proud of his girlfriend, was he not showing it?
“I want to do this alone, I want to go and be independent with my work friends without you, I just knew that you would get in the way…” 
“Wait baby- What are you talking about?” 
“My solo trip, I had packed for it but now I will tell my boss that I won’t be able to go…”
“Why not?” 
“Because you clearly don’t want me to go” he could laugh, but it wasn’t the time, even though they were both stupid. 
“Why did you hide your trip?” 
“Mason, why are you asking me that if you want to break up” 
“No baby, I think we’re stupid-” the giggles he was letting out weren’t amusing, she was getting frustrated “-I thought you were planning to leave me, because of the suitcase and your silence two weeks ago” 
She softly gasped her words, holding her hand to heart to show her hurt “Oh-no baby…” 
“Come here baby…” he drew her in, gently cradling her head to his chest.
“I was just excited for my trip, I wanted to tell you, but I grew afraid that you wouldn’t let me go” 
“Or that I would want to go with you-“ a playful smile, not once getting offended by her need to seek some alone time. 
“No Mase, I just wanted to do something by myself, learn what it feels like to not have you around, to not depend so much” 
“I know love, I was just taking the piss, just know that you don’t need my permission. Sometimes you need to put your desires first” 
“I just always go with you, and it’s not really fun when there’s more people” 
“Why didn’t you tell me this?” 
“Because you’re actually relaxing and having fun, I just enjoy staying home” 
“Next holiday I have, we’ll stay home ok, or we’ll go alone” 
“Ok- but did you really think I was going to break up with you?” 
“Yes! You were acting so nonchalant, I was going mad trying to figure out what I did” 
“Well you did nothing, I’m extremely happy with you and that suitcase is filled with new stuff only” 
“Where are you going anyway?” 
“To Spain, it’s silly I know but it’s mostly a free trip” 
“Then take it, I will never hold you back, I’m extremely happy for you and even more proud of all your accomplishments” 
“I exaggerated…”
“No amor, but I am happy for you, do I not show it?” 
“You do, but I prefer not inviting you to my work events, most of the time they are boring” 
“Well we have to share boring moments, you don’t really like watching us play regularly, but regardless you go for me. So next time, invite me to your boring dinners, besides you don’t know if I’ll like them” 
“You won’t, I don’t even like them, but I will from now on- I’m sorry for being sneaky and selfish” 
“I’m sorry for being clueless and paranoid, I thought the worst from you, just because I saw a suitcase” 
“Mind you, it was a new suitcase” 
“I know, and it was a tiny one. You couldn’t possibly pack your whole life into it” 
“Let’s not ever jump to conclusions ok” she hugged him, pecking his chapped lips. He probably picked his lips when he was deep in thought, worried and scared of their end. 
“I usually talk with you about my concerns but I was patient like always, but I lacked confidence in actually confronting you, or rather confronting my fears. I just couldn’t believe it you know” 
“I’ll share my boring life with you again, I guess I stopped gossiping about my coworkers and you grew worried, which is normal” 
“I love hearing about Sophie and her three boyfriends and Callie and her messy love life with a girl who is ten years older than her, just please never stop talking baby” 
“I’m sure I’ll bring even more gossip from the trip” 
“I will love to hear it” 
“Any new gossip in your life” footballers lived a pretty interesting but dull life, very rarely did they actually have time to be chaotic or destructive, but his teammates were something else. 
“Nope, no cheating scandals or divorces… I thought I would be the topic of discussion” 
“Mase, I would literally go crazy without you” 
“I don’t know what I’d do without you, you know what my biggest fear is” 
“What? Snakes” he had a silly smile that turned serious. 
“I’m afraid of losing you” 
“Don’t ever face that fear ok?” She gently held his cheek, the one that was still plagued with worry and pent up frustration.
“I won’t…”
“The moment you become comfortable with the idea that I might be gone, that’s the end of us. So be afraid but still love me” 
“Always, I’ll keep holding on to you, I have no choice or else my heart will go crazy” 
“Mine too, I love you” she closed the small gap that separated their lips, in a slow and lazy kiss. There was no point of passionate kisses if he would have her for the rest of his life. “I love you too…”
Yes he was paranoid, but he just needed to talk to her. To communicate if he hurt her feelings, if he wasn’t listening, if he was inconsiderate, or uninvolved in their relationship he needed to become aware of it. However he wasn’t selfish- never was. 
They knew how to express themselves in a way that wasn't insensitive to their needs and desires. That’s why her trip went better than expected. The selfies and group pictures that she was sending him kept him at ease that she was actually enjoying herself. 
He was happy for her, that she was able to face a fear of doing something without him, and he was also facing his fear that she was safe away from him. They sheltered each other and although that could be a good trait, it was also harmful when he started to fear the possibility of losing her. 
But it was a mere possibility, something that would never happen if he kept encouraging his girlfriend to be careful but free to pursue new desires and dreams. 
They always treasured the moments spent together, while not forgetting that a bit of self-care was also needed. Initially her suitcase carried more baggage than usual, but in reality it brought endless opportunities of self discovery for the both of them.
Mason learned to love her without being afraid of the what if’s. There’s millions of reasons to leave your partner, but there’s only one way to make them stay, and that is loving them with no limitations- love is not controlling, it is a foundation of pure patience and honesty and they were glad that they possessed those qualities.
The End…
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Tag-List: @xjval / @justme-espcaping / @alexisquinnlee-bc / @trentskinator98 / @nightlockcornucopia / @kathb59 / @pjofics / @cinderellawithashoe / @jajajhaahaha / @alwaysclassyeagle /. @urmotheris / @shobaes / @a1leexxa / @delicateearthquakellama
(This tag-list includes everyone that has asked me, if you want to be removed or added you can always let me know, and if your name is crossed out that means that you’ve changed your username)
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mrsriddlenott · 4 months
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The Second Day Of SmutMas
[smutmas masterlist] [main masterlist]
~ Christmas Movie Marathon ~
bf!JJ Maybank x fem!Reader
Summary: You, JJ, and the Pogues spend Christmas together in the chateau watching all your favorite holiday movies, until your mischievous boyfriend gets bored and wants to distract you as well.
- Lmk how y’all feel ab this one please, I’ve never written for OBX and I have yet to watch the 3rd season but I love JJ and Rafe so if this is good I may decide to write for them more after Christmas -
Warnings: 18+ Content!! Public Sexting, exhibitionism, bit of an innocence kink, mentions of past sexual encounters, alludes to smut, m!receiving handjob, kinda alludes to d/s dynamics, public m!orgasm.
Kie, Sarah, Pope, and you, all managed to slip away from your separate homes, after much difficulty and help from JJ and John B, to spend time with your found family on Christmas day. JJ had gotten a cheap Santa’s hat and spent the late morning beside the tiny Christmas tree passing around your gifts and ho ho hoing as you all laughed before flopping next to you on the couch with a wet kiss to your temple once he was done. The rest of the morning, and well into the afternoon, was filled with mini arguments over the best Christmas movies leading you all to decide you’d be watching every single one of each of your favorites to find out once and for all which was the best.
It was fun in theory, getting to cuddle up next to you and enjoy time with all your friends, and in the beginning it was rather entertaining, but JJ began to lose interest halfway through Elf two movies in and was finding it difficult to stay still and focused on the small screen infront of him. His arm that was draped over your shoulders to hug you into him slowly slipped off of you to pull his phone from his pocket, quickly typing something as you watched him confusedly before your phone was vibrating in your pocket.
Jay❤️: im bored Baby
You: How can you be bored watching Christmas Vacation?!
Jay❤️: its boring.
You gasp beside him, eyeing him with narrowed eyes before turning back to your phone with your eyebrows scrunched, vigorously typing on your phone as JJ watched you with a smile, deciding that trying to get you all riled up and bratty would be a much better way to spend his day.
You: Blasphemy.
You: This is a classic!!!!!
JJ chuckled down at his screen, thinking of what could get you more annoyed, before hurriedly typing and turning his phone away while you craned your neck to try and catch a glimpse at his message before it was sent.
Jay❤️: idk about that. its not like its one of the santa clause movies or something. besides your not even watching it your texting me….
You: You’re*
You: Christmas Vacation is older so more of a classic now stop distracting me☹️
JJ huffed out a sigh as he watched you swipe up the messages app, revealing your new home screen to be a picture of you both on the HMS a few days ago when you all went out to swim. More specifically, a picture of you in his favorite bikini, which flashed for only a second before you locked your phone, turning to him with a smile and chaste kiss to his lips that had his pants tightening quickly. What you hoped would satiate his attention-seeking instead made him needy for you as your taste always did, sometimes all it took for him to get riled up was the scent of your hair or a simple bat of your eyelashes and he was ready to shove you against the nearest flat surface.
He loved to ruffle your perfect feathers and get you riled up, whether it was you telling him off for distracting you from studying, or begging him to fuck you in ways you never could have imaged before him. You always tried to hide how much you loved his careless attitude, it was something he always adored about you, even when you were just friends wishing there was no such thing as “No Pogue On Pogue Macking”. But he never missed how your cheeks would go red when he fought someone at a party in the boneyard, snaking his hand in yours after and taking you to get a drink as though he didn’t have bruises growing on his hands and knuckles. And he definitely didn’t miss how you clenched your thighs every time you were caught making out in public or accidentally walked in on while occupying the bed at the chateau.
When he finally pulled himself out of his thoughts, JJ had to readjust his hips as you unknowingly leaned your head on his shoulder, he winced slightly and suppressed a moan when his hardening dick rubbed against the seam of his shorts. Your worried, confused eyes looked up to him from his shoulder and only worsened the ache in his lower abdomen as he tugged at the thin sheet blanket covering both your legs to bunch around his now fully erect dick.
Jay❤️: im so horny
Your eyes widened at your phone, your cheeks growing warm as they painted red, your thighs subconsciously rubbing together while feeling JJ’s eyes on you. It took you a second to think of a response, letting out a giggle that sent him soaring when you started to form the message. He rested his head on the back of the coach forcing himself not to groan while watching you type, not so patiently waiting to receive it on his end.
You: Watching a family get attacked by a squirrel from their Christmas tree makes you horny?
Jay❤️: what the fuck is even happening in this movie right now….
You: See the movie’s not boring you’re just not paying attention.
Jay❤️: how can you expect me to focus when your sitting next to me like that Gorgeous
Those wide eyes met his after scanning over the text in front of you a few times with furrowed brows, your cheeks bright red making him smirk down to you, tilting his head towards your phone and urging you to reply.
You: I didn’t do anything though?
Jay❤️:fuck Baby all you do is exist and im bricked
You accidentally let out a squeak of a whimper hidden by the sound of the TV that he heard only die to his proximity, he was throbbing in his shorts already as you started and stopped typing, deleting and restarting at least four times before he decided to double text with a groan.
Jay❤️: you want proof?
You narrowed your eyes as him slightly, thinking to yourself about what he could possibly have in mind to prove this to you before your curiosity ultimately took over and had you nodding your head to your very needy boyfriend. JJ quickly but discreetly grabbed your hand, shoving it under the thin material hiding his boner and twitching at the gasp you let slip upon making contact. He was harder than you ever felt before, his entirely rock hard dick just from the thought of you was sending uncommon bursts of confidence and adrenaline your way, already anticipating what he could have planned for you.
Jay❤️: keep that there and feel what you do to me.
Jay❤️: im imagining the way you spread your legs for me in the mornings when you get all needy for my tongue
Your face burned hot as you read his text, feeling the throb of his erect dick in your hand as it warmed your palm. You willed yourself to keep your hand still despite a desperate beed to please him, knowing one or all of your friends could turn around at any moment and see the movement. But to your surprise the idea of being caught in such an act was only aiding in the growth of your desire.
Jay❤️: and how you clench around me just before you cum
Jay❤️: that thing you do with your tongue when you suck me off that drives me fucking insane
Jay❤️: oh fuck and that fucked face you make when i first enter you
JJ twitched in your hand as he typed the last message and soon you were subconsciously rubbing him through his shorts. Slowly moving your cupped palm along his shaft in an accidentally antagonizing manner, forcing JJ to bite his lips to hide a moan, stuttering in his typing and causing an error he’d have to fix.
Jay❤️: im always craving the way you taste when i make you cum on my tongue
Jay❤️: and when i get to watch you taste my cum. dont you love it Sweetheart?
You swore your breathing stopped, you kept thinking all your friends could somehow read your texts and knew exactly what your hand was doing despite being entirely focused on the screen in front of them. You stretched the thumb of the hand holding your phone, trying to from your response, eyes darting up to the four in front of you every few seconds while your hand hidden beneath the sheet began picking up it’s pace at the spark of your imagination and rush of adrenaline. Your thoughts were running rampant, thinking of JJ taking you right on the coach or forcing your to your knees for teasing him, imagining the punishments he’d think of as soon as you were in private was egging you on as you thought out your teasing messages.
You: Of course I do Jay, you’re my favorite dessert🥰
You: Always taste so amazing when you make me choke around your cum
JJ’s throat went dry as he read your text over and over, his brain growing foggy and filling with the thought of you moaning and gagging around him, his hand in your hair, pushing you to take him entirely, shivering at the thought of your tongue tracing one of his prominent veins to the start of his balls just as it always did. JJ was much more distracted than he intended, his initial thought process being that you would get flustered and tug him away to have some Christmas fun, but when you batted your eyes up to him with a harder pull of his clothed dick, he realized your burst of confidence. His breath caught and he twitched in your hand upon noticing you were thoroughly enjoying the public aspect of his pleasure just as he was, he was desperately trying to hide it before, feeling like a perv, but knowing that his sweet, innocent little girl enjoyed it too changed everything.
You eyed the side of his face as he began forming another message, watching his pleasure when your fingertips found the outline of his tip and began swirling over him slowly with a featherlight touch that had him gritting his teeth and suppressing a moan before you were slipping your hand back down him slowly. The way he had to bite his lip to silence himself, closing his eyes to toss his head back with an almost silent groan had your already damp underwear growing wetter while you awaited what was sure to be an inappropriate text.
Jay❤️: dont you want me to fuck you right now Baby?
You: I’d rather watch you cum in your shorts right here before I even touch you properly.
Jay❤️: jesus. since when were you in charge Cupcake?
You: Since right now.
Jay❤️: i fucking love it
You giggled at your phone, turning to see JJ’s blown out eyes observing you, a lazy smile adorning his face as your hand sped up upon eye contact. His eye lids began to flutter, drooping almost closed as your hand worked from his base to his tip, stopping at the leaking head with a smile before beginning to rub him quickly with the pads of two of your fingers. He jolted forward slightly with a sigh of pleasure, grabbing at your wrist to make sure your hand stayed exactly where he wanted it.
Your hand barley moved as your fingers swirled over his tip, you could feel his precum beginning to soak through his boxers and onto his shorts leaving a sticky feeling on your working fingers. His grip on your arm tightened, nails digging into you as he approached his high, moving too much in his seat and drawing your friends attention. Just as the coil in his lower stomach snapped, he was painting the inside of his shorts and boxers white, panting and biting his lips to suppress sounds while imagining you cleaning him with your tongue.
As his eyes refocused, JJ took account of the quiet scene unfolding on the TV and the questioning, almost mocking eyes of his friends. He chuckled upon noticing you were suddenly shy again, avoiding making eye contact by turning to him with pleading eyes. Another thing he loved, how you acted so innocent for everyone but him.
“We’re gonna go….um….take a nap” JJ lies, standing quickly as though the obvious dark spot on his khaki shorts was invisible, grabbing your hand aggressively and tugging you behind him over the couch.
“Yeah okay, just don’t “nap” too loudly we still have movies to finish out here,” Pope shouted, laughing with your friends as your face burned, JJ quickly led you into the other room and towards the bed, slamming the door loudly and making it quite obvious what would be happening.
“Those two can’t keep their hands off of each other, they’re like rabbits I swear.” John B stated with a chuckle and a shake of his head as he and Sarah migrated to the coach to claim the seats you and JJ had just vacated.
“Oh shut up John B, you two are way worse.” Kie jokingly snapped between laughs as she, Pope and the loved birds refocused on the movie, turning up the volume expectantly as the laughs died down.
~~~~
-Taglist-
@timmytime17 @talia-scar123 @spencer-reids-wife @ttsbaby01 @animorose @whydoireadanymore @thievin-stealing @spiderman-stilinski @evycloudberry @shady-the-simp @ashisabitgay @porterport @callsignwidow @cicicicicisstuff @mattheoriddleswifee @junebugin-july @moonlightreader649 @devotedlyshadowytheorist @rubyliquor @perverteddsdreams @mildly-delulu @fairydimples07 @shadowmoonlight0604 @80scinemvasworld @nevillescomslut @annaisabookworm @abaker74 @athenalikethegoddess @limeren @h-------n @kezibear @mattheoriddlemarcuslopez @lovemelikecrazyiloveyoucrazy @curiousshifter101 @tobyr68 @spididerman @hedwigprewett12 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @kiwi475
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stylesispunk · 1 month
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"The not so invisible string" part 5
Not outbreak! Joel Miller x F! Reader
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summary: you and Joel were made right for each other at the wrong time. Now, thirteen years later your paths crossed when both of your daughters get in trouble at school. Would be the right time for you now?
word count: 4k
warnings: angst, cheating, serious talk. "Doe" is her nickname. No proof reading haha
a/n: Hello! Here's chapter 5! I hope you like it, sorry for the all the wait, I've been dealing with some things. This one is more like a filler chapter and I'll be back with another one on Tuesday! Reblogs and comments are always appreciated. Happy reading 💌 Remember my dms and asks are always open for you
dividers by @/saradika.
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It has already been a week since you found out about Dwight’s family, and since then, you have not spoken to him. He had sent messages and had been calling you, begging you to let him explain himself. But you ignore them; instead, you initiated the divorce process with a lawyer, and you were waiting for this chapter of your life to finally be over. Even when you couldn’t bear the feeling of something you touched becoming ashes again, how a shame it was for you to be an insignificant target to fool.
The truth was that Dwight was a source of light entering through your window at some point. The very first night you met him, he was a gentleman, and he treated you well until he stopped. However, the unfaithful path he had chosen for the both of you was something you could not forgive. Your marriage was ending like all the other love stories you were part of.
And that was one of the worst parts of being an adult: having to pick up the broken pieces of you by yourself, save them in your pocket, and continue with your life because it doesn’t matter how exhausted you are or not; you have to continue because you are a woman and no little child is allowed to cry anymore.
During all this week, you had been staying at Joel’s house. He reassured me that it was okay for him to sleep on the couch and insisted that you take the bed. Joel had been acting as a supportive friend throughout this difficult situation, offering a listening ear whenever you needed to vent and a shoulder to cry on, but still, the string pulling you together was burning in your finger, and for him, it seemed okay to pretend that the kiss you almost gave him didn’t happen.
As you lay in bed one night, staring up at the ceiling, thoughts of Dwight and the life you had envisioned together flooded your mind. You couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness and betrayal, but deep down, you knew that you deserved better than someone who couldn't stay faithful.
After all, you thought you deserved it. You had been physically faithful to him, but you always knew your heart belonged to Joel since the moment you met him, and loving a man while staying married to another was another type of treason. 
All wells end badly if they are built on lies.
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"A penny for your thoughts?"
You almost dropped your cup of coffee when you heard Joel's voice saying your name.
"What?" You inquired, perplexed.
"I told you I'm leaving and taking the girls to school; are you coming?"
"No, I have to see Dwight in an hour," you said. Joel's face sank slightly at the mention of Dwight's name, as if poison had flowed from your lips. "You know, divorce things," you said somberly.
Joel nodded in agreement, although his expression revealed a tinge of anguish. "I understand," he replied softly. "Just remember, you don't have to go through this alone. I'm here for you, no matter what.
Touched by his constant support, you smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Joel. I sincerely appreciate everything you have done for me. And thank you for taking Tara to school."
As Joel gathered his belongings and prepared to go, you couldn't help but feel grateful for having him back in your life. Despite the distress you were experiencing, knowing you had someone like him by your side gave you the resilience to face whatever lay ahead.
With a deep breath, you prepared for the meeting with Dwight, reaffirming your courage and telling yourself that you deserved better than the pain he had caused you. And as you saw Joel leaving, you couldn't help but feel like the story was repeating itself, as if you weren't deserving of permanent love.
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The mood at the lawyer's office, where you sat across from Dwight, was strained. The air seemed heavy with unspoken thoughts and repressed feelings. Dwight squirmed uneasily in his seat, avoiding your gaze and fidgeting with the papers in front of him.
You took a deep breath, ready for the talk that needed to take place. "Dwight," you said, your voice firm but laced with bitterness, "we both understand why we're here. "This marriage... is over."
Dwight finally caught your stare, and you could feel the guilt and regret in his eyes. "I know," he replied softly, just above a whisper. "I messed up, and I apologize. I don't expect you to forgive me, but just know that I didn't mean to hurt you."
Your heart was crushed at his words, but you knew forgiveness would never come. "Yeah, I bet you didn't mean to have a child with another woman," you responded, your tone strict. "But apologies are not going to fix the damage already done. We need to move forward with the divorce, and I want you to tell Tara about your child."
Dwight nodded, a sense of resignation washing over him. "I understand," he replied, his voice full of remorse. "I will sign any paper that is required and won't disagree with it. I only want you to be happy, even if it is without me."
As you left the lawyer's office, without saying a word to him, Dwight turned to you with an eager expression in his eyes. "Can I have Tara over for dinner tonight?" he requested cautiously. "I want to tell her the truth and start making amends."
You hesitated for a moment, considering your alternatives. Regardless of the hurt and betrayal, you believed Tara deserved to know the truth about her father. And perhaps, by confronting the truth together, you would be able to repair the wounds that have been done to your family.
You sighed and nodded, an overwhelming feeling of conviction coming over you. "Yes, Dwight," you replied gently. "You can have Tara over for tonight.
Dwight nodded, a thankful smile flashing over his lips. "Thank you," he replied genuinely. "I won't let you down."
"I don't trust you, and if you make my daughter cry, I will fucking kill you, Dwight." You spoke with a steely tone to emphasize the importance of your warning.
Dwight's smile faded as he gulped and nodded his head. "I know I've let you both down," he muttered gently, his expression gloomy. "But I swear, I'll do everything I can to make things right. "I love Tara and would never do anything to hurt her."
You kept his stare for a minute, looking for any sign of sincerity. You slowly nodded, accepting his words with cautious apprehension. "But you did," you responded, your tone softening slightly. "Tara deserves nothing less than your best. "You are her father; act like one."
Dwight nodded firmly; his expression full of purpose. "I won't let you down," he said, his voice full of tenacity.
With a final nod, you turned and walked away, an avalanche of emotions spinning inside you. While you couldn't ignore the pain and treachery he'd caused you, you couldn't resist the flicker of optimism washing over you.
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"Hey, pretty lady, can you help me with something?" Tommy spoke while reaching over to your desk.
"What is it?" you asked, in an unnecessarily harsh tone, as Tommy lifted his gaze to meet the sadness in your eyes and laid his papers aside.
"Okay. What's wrong?" He asked, concerned.
"Nothing but a soon-to-be divorce," you responded, faking a smile as if you had said something amusing, but Tommy did not laugh or smile.
"What?" you asked. "Okay, I'm kind of stressed with some things."
"I'm sorry to hear that," he replied quietly, his voice full of sympathy. "If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you."
You felt a rush of gratitude rush over you after Tommy's offer of support.
Despite the facade you had been trying to keep up, the weight of recent events had taken its toll, and it felt good to finally share your burden with someone else.
"Is it because of my brother, or not? What about his date tonight?"
"Joel has a date tonight." you said, your heart cracking slightly.
Tommy's face furrowed with worry as he noticed your reaction. "Yes, he mentioned it earlier. He said he was going out with someone he had recently met."
The news made your heart sink as a range of emotions swirled inside you. "Oh," was all you could say, attempting to cover up the twinge of pain that stabbed your chest.
Tommy sensed a shift in your attitude, and his expression softened with understanding. "I'm sorry, I thought you knew since you are staying at his house."
"It's okay, Tommy," you said, attempting a forced smile.
However, it was not okay.
Not long after that, Joel came to the office door, ready to go, and drew your attention with a glance around the room. Without saying anything, he gestured for Tommy to join him, and the two of them rushed toward the exit.
You couldn't help but feel a tinge of disappointment as you observed them leave together, a reminder that you'd also lost him along the way.
As they approached the door, Joel paused and returned his gaze to you, his face softening as he did so, and despite the hurt and confusion whirling inside you, you managed to muster a small, strained smile in response.
"See you later," Joel murmured, his tone tinged with concern.
You nodded in answer, attempting to cover up the chaos that was growing within you. "See you," you said, the words seeming flat on your tongue.
Joel and Tommy disappeared in just one glance, leaving you alone in the office with your thoughts.
Maybe it was time for you to move on, leave his house, and even leave this town.
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As the night fell, you found yourself lost in your thoughts, the events of the day weighing heavily on your mind. The sound of the door opening pulled you from your reverie, and you looked up to see Joel entering the house.
"Hey," he greeted you, his voice warm but tinged with concern as he noticed the somber expression on your face. "How was your day?"
You forced a smile, trying to mask the turmoil brewing inside you. "It was alright," you replied vaguely, avoiding his gaze.
Joel furrowed his brows, sensing that something was amiss. "Where are the girls?”
“Uhm. Sarah is upstairs doing homework”
“And Tara?" he asked, his tone filled with curiosity.
You hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to respond. "She's at Dwight's," you finally admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.
Joel's expression tensed slightly at the mention of Dwight's name, a flicker of emotion passing through his eyes before he composed himself. "Oh," was all he said, his voice neutral.
A heavy silence settled between you, the weight of unspoken words hanging in the air. Sensing the tension, you took a deep breath and decided to break the silence.
"So, uh, how was your date?" you asked, trying to sound casual despite the knot of jealousy tightening in your chest.
Joel's brows furrowed in confusion, his eyes searching yours for any hint of jest. "Date?" he echoed; his voice tinged with surprise.
Your heart sank at his reaction, realizing that perhaps you had misunderstood or misheard earlier. "Yeah, Tommy mentioned it,” you explained, trying to keep your tone light despite the growing unease in your stomach.
As you mentioned Tommy's observation, Joel's expression softened, understanding dawning in his eyes. “There was no date; I was actually still working at this dude’s house.”
“Then why did he? you began.
“Were you jealous?” he interrupted
You paused, caught off guard by Joel's interruption. The question hung in the air, heavy with implications. Your heart raced as you considered how to respond, unsure whether to admit the truth or deflect his inquiry.
"I... I don't know," you finally admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.
“Would it be bad? I mean, would it be that bad for me to have a date?” he teased, smirking at you.
Joel's teasing tone caught you off guard, and you felt a range of emotions rushing up inside you. Part of you wanted to dismiss his inquiry with a casual reply, while another part wanted to express how sensitive you are and hurt.
"Maybe" you said, your voice tinged with sorrow.
Joel's humorous tone faded when he understood the importance of his words. He reached out and gently grabbed your hand, and you automatically retreated, feeling a flash of weakness and uneasiness. His gaze shifted, and his eyes showed fear.
"I think that it's better if I go to stay at my parents' house." You said, a lump developing in your throat as you battled to hold back your tears.
"I think it's better if I go to stay at my parents' house." You announced, a lump growing in your throat as you tried to hold back tears. "I just... I need some space right now," you explained, your voice trembling with passion. "I need time to think about my feelings and figure things out."
He chuckled gently. "I think you're being dramatic." Joel's giggle broke the tension, leaving you taken aback and irritated. The lump in your throat became bigger as tears welled up in your eyes, and your heart ached from the burden of his words.
"You don't understand," you exclaimed, your voice shaking with emotion.
"Then make me!" he exclaimed. "I thought you were going to be happier without him, but it seems like you're just a gosht."
"Oh my god, I'm sorry for being sad over the fact that the man I was married to for the last years of my life built another family behind my back as if I were nothing!"
"Dwight doesn't deserve you; he never did," Joel said.
As Joel's remarks hung in the air, a tight silence fell over the room, interrupted only by the sound of your heavy breathing. His attempts to lighten the situation had only deepened the wound in your heart, leaving you feeling even more alone and misunderstood than before.
The tears that had been threatening to spill over finally let loose, running down your cheeks in silent streams as you battled to control yourself. Joel's words were like a punch in the face, a burning reminder of the treason and heartache you'd experienced at Dwight's hands.
"Oh, and who deserves me then?" You said, "Tell me; I want to know."
Joel just stated, "Someone better,” deep down knowing it was him.
"Like you?" you questioned.
"You can trust me," he reassured.
"No, I can't because I don't know you!" you stated.
"I'm the same Joel you met," he said back, trying to stop the storm from coming between you both.
"The one who became a ghost or broke my heart? Which one?" you demanded, tears welling up in your eyes.
"Look, I understand you are afraid of things, but if you think I'm going to say I wish I could get back in time and regret having my daughter for one second, you're crazy." He merely pointed out,
You chuckled as tears flowed down your cheeks. You tried to wipe them away, attempting to remain calm as you stared at Joel, hoping for some form of understanding.
"I never wanted you to regret having Sarah," you replied quietly, your voice tinged with sadness. “I know she's the best thing that ever happened to you.”
Joel's face softened in reaction to your words, with an instant of guilt running through his eyes as he saw the pain on your face. He reached out carefully, his hand gliding in the air between you as a silent gesture of comfort and understanding.
As Joel's palm finally touched yours, a sense of warmth and connection poured over you, spanning the gap that had threatened to separate you. In that moment, you sensed a glimmer of joy and a fresh belief in the possibilities of mending and healing.
"I know," Joel said quietly, his voice full of honesty. "And I am grateful for her every day. But that doesn't change how I feel about you or us. He paused. "Actually, there's something I need to confess." 
"What do you mean?" you inquired, your tone barely above a whisper.
Joel took a long breath, his gaze never leaving yours as he began speaking. "Do you remember those nights I was working late? I wasn't only working, Doe. I was saving money."
Confusion flared in your eyes as you attempted to process his words. "Save money? For what?"
"For a ring," Joel said, his voice full of remorse and vulnerability. "I was planning to propose to you."
The air in your lungs became still as Joel's words sank in. Joel had kept this secret from you all these years, while you were struggling with self-esteem issues.
Tears welled in your eyes. "Did you buy before I left that night we broke?" you whispered, your voice thick with emotion.
He nodded. "I wanted everything to be perfect," Joel confessed, his eyes filled with grief. "But then... things got complicated." "And I thought... I thought I had lost my chance with you." 
"But you let me go," you stated, sounding weak due to the weight of your words, heavy with the distress of the past.
Joel's face softened, and his eyes reflected the grief that filled his heart. "I know, and I'll always regret that," he said, his voice tinged with sadness.
His eyebrows seemed to furrow with remorse as he took a look at your intense stare. "I was a coward," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "I let my fear control me, and in doing so, I lost the most important thing I had in my life."
The vulnerability in Joel's admission resonated with the ache in your own heart. For years, you had carried the weight of his absence, wondering what could have been if only he had been brave enough to fight for you.
"I should have fought for us," Joel continued, his gaze locked with yours. "But I was too afraid of losing you, so I let you slip away."
“I need space, Joel,” you said. “And I deserve to be loved, so I’m not going to follow you or anybody else unless you show me that.”
Joel's shoulders sagged with the weight of your words, his eyes reflecting a mixture of regret and understanding. "I understand," he whispered, his voice heavy with remorse. "You deserve to be loved, and I've failed you in that regard."
As you spoke, a sense of clarity washed over you, a realization that you owed it to yourself to prioritize your own healing and well-being. You had spent too long waiting for someone else to validate your worth, and now you were ready to take control your choices.
"I won't ask you to follow me," Joel replied, his tone filled with resignation. "But I hope that someday I can show you the love and respect you deserve."
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As you walked downstairs, the weight of your decision weighed heavily on your shoulders. Each step seemed like a bitter reminder of the past and an uncertain future. But with every stride, you felt a fresh resolution grow within you—a drive to reclaim control of your own life.
When you reached the bottom of the steps, you paused to collect your thoughts before heading toward the door. The sound of your footsteps echoed in the still room, providing an abrupt contrast to the turbulent emotions racing within you.
However, as you reached for the doorknob, a voice stopped you in your tracks.
"Doe, wait."
You turned to see Joel standing in the doorway, his expression full of anguish.
You turned to see Joel standing in the doorway, his expression full of anguish. His eyes pleaded with you, silently begging for the opportunity to set things right.
"I need to go," you replied, just above a whisper. "I cannot stay here, Joel."
Joel took a step closer, his eyes never leaving yours. "I understand," he replied, his voice tinged with regret. "You need space, but I have to tell you this before."
You hesitated, divided between the urge to leave and the need to hear Joel's words. With a disturbed heart, you nodded, quietly encouraging him to speak.
"I made a mistake that night," Joel said, his voice shaking with emotion. "I should've fought for you, Doe. I should have told you how much you meant to me instead of letting you leave."
You broke down in tears when you heard Joel's confession. For years, you had felt the weight of his absence, wondering if things could have turned out differently if he had been brave enough to fight for you.
"I'm sorry," Joel said quietly, his voice barely audible. "I'm so sorry for letting you go." He breathed in. "So that's why I'm doing this now."
“What?” you asked.
You furrowed your brow, attempting to make sense of his captivating comment. Before you could utter another word, Joel closed the distance between you, his movements swift yet gentle.
In an instant, his lips touched yours in a delicate kiss—a muttered plea for forgiveness and a promise of reconciliation. The world around you appeared to fade away as the warmth of his touch embraced you, washing away the layers of doubt and uncertainty that had tortured your heart for so long.
Joel knew words weren’t enough for you right now, and this swift action was the only way he found to pour and show all the love and promises he couldn’t save those years, being sealed in this very right moment.
Not letting you go this time was his first attempt to bring you back and offer you the life and love you deserved.
For a little moment, time stood still, and all that mattered was what you shared with Joel—a bond that transcended through the years.
Joel pulled away, his gaze fixed on yours, looking for any sign of recognition. His breath merged with yours, stealing what he believed was his. A silent exchange of emotions spoke volumes without the use of words.
"I can't let you go," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Not again, please stay with me," he pleaded, holding your face with his hands. 
Joel's words lingered heavily in the air, echoing his desperation and need. You noticed a genuine desperation in his request, one that mirrored your own. You had ached for reassurance of his love for so long, and now as he stood before you, baring his soul, you couldn't resist the pull of your heart toward him.
"I don't want to leave," you said, just above a whisper. "But I need to know that this time is different, Joel. I need to know if you are willing to fight for us."
Joel nodded; his eyes full of purpose. "I am," he declared, his voice filled with passion. "I'll do whatever it takes to make things right between us, to prove to you that you're the one I want, now and always."
Tears welled up in your eyes as you met Joel's soulful gaze and noticed the depth of his love and honesty reflected in you. You lifted your hand while taking in the warmth of his face under your fingertips.
Feeling the warmth of Joel's touch under your fingertips, you took a deep breath, trying to steady the whirlwind of emotions swirling within you. Despite the overwhelming rush of love and longing, you knew that you needed time to process everything that had happened—to settle the chaos in your heart and mind.
"I need time," you admitted, your voice trembling slightly with emotion. "Time to process everything that's happened, time to heal, and time to figure out what I want."
Joel's expression softened, and his gaze filled with understanding. "I understand," he said softly, his voice a soothing balm to your frazzled nerves. "Take all the time you need, baby. I'll be here waiting for you, I promise.”
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Sarah
 “Guys, it worked! They talked things out!”
Tara
No way! Seriously?
Tommy
So, my lie worked? What happened?
Sarah
They kissed! My dad is over the moon!
Tara
 OMG, really?! I can't believe it!
Tommy
Wow, I didn't think our little plan would actually work.
Sarah
We just needed to give them a little push.
Tommy
We? I lied for you little girls.
Tara
I'm so happy for them. They belong together.
Tommy
Yeah, they do. Let's just hope they figure things out soon.
tags 💌: @joeldjarin @missladym1981 @yomiyasxx @aliengirl99 @lola8888673 @nottodaysattan @picketniffler @violinchick @sadgirlcheesecake @caitlynsixxx @luvwanda @sarahhxx03
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wanderingelvis · 8 months
Note
I love your whole dynamic with innocent reader and elvis, so I had this idea and was wondering if you found it inspiring and wanted to write something on it, only if you want to, I'll love whatever you write even if it's not this haha <3 But because the Memphis mafia knows that Elvis cares about reader a lot and knows Elvis likes it when the mafia distances themselves from reader maybe when they invite a friend whose not familiar with the terms that come with being around Elvis and reader to Graceland the friend oversteps one of the boundaries that Elvis usually has set for the mafia. It could be anything like maybe the guy hurts reader's feelings or makes her uncomfortable, or is too nice to her for Elvis' liking, etc!
LOVE this, thank you so much! 🧚 Masterlist 🧚 Word Count: 2,790
Pairings: 60s!Elvis x Innocent F!Reader
Warnings: Attempted se*ual assault, mild mentions of violence, cursing, possessiveness, isolation of reader
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Of course Elvis wanted you to be happy, he wasn't a monster, but he drew the line at your happiness coming from another man. If this made him selfish then so be it, he could live with himself being selfish if it meant he was the only source of your happiness. 
But this meant there were guidelines for the Mafia, so to speak. He'd had a word with Jerry, who Elvis deemed to be the most understanding of the group, to pass on the message and make it known that whilst no-one should ignore you, you certainly shouldn't be entertained by anyone but Elvis. 
Naturally, being the sweet and somewhat dumb little thing you were, you had no idea that there was this unspoken rule in place. You simply thought the Mafia weren't very fond of you so you liked to stay right by Elvis' side, just where he wanted you to be. 
You'd actually voiced your concerns to Elvis, expressing to him how you felt a bit nervous in a group with all of them but Elvis would always softly assure you that, "Of course they like ya honey, who wouldn't?". But you were still never quite convinced.
So when all the Mafia and their partners were over at Graceland for a summer cookout, and Charlie Hodge had brought his friend Jonny for the first time, you were absolutely determined to make a good impression and try and make a friend out of him. 
You and Elvis both loved cookouts, you enjoyed hosting and Elvis would always praise you for being his "pretty lil' hostess" and making sure no-one ever had an empty drink.  "Elvis, Y/N, this is my friend Jonny, he actually flew in from Texas this mornin', the son-of-a-bitch basically begged me to bring him here!" Charlie joked, the cursing making you flinch a little. 
You didn't like it when people cursed. For you, cursing was just a sign of aggression that you'd only experienced as a little girl from your father after he'd had maybe one too many whisky's. Elvis knew about how cursing had become a bit of a trigger point for you, he'd promised to never curse at, or around you. 
"Well..." Jonny chuckled with his face growing beet-red at Charlie exposing his desperation to come to Graceland. "Wasn't quite like that was it, Char?" Jonny stammered uncomfortably. 
Elvis, always being the best host, eased Jonny's embarrassment, offering him his hand to shake as he introduced the two of you and welcomed Jonny to the cookout. You squeaked hello, giving Jonny a cute little wave you held Elvis' hand with your other hand. 
The cookout was going brilliantly, and of course it would, with Elvis cooking and you making sure everyone's drinks were full, the afternoon was always perfect.
Once you were satisfied that everyone had been accommodated, you dashed back into the kitchen, getting ready to prepare the next jug of homemade lemonade for your guests.
"Need a hand?" A low voice asked, making you jump and giggle as you saw Jonny in the doorway to the kitchen. 
You offered the man a beaming smile, eager to not have another member of the Mafia become hostile to you. "Oh! Um, it's okay, but thank you! That's real kind of ya, sometimes it's a bit crazy but, um, I think everythin' is under control really! D'ya want another drink or somethin'?" You offered sweetly.
"I'm okay love, y'know, Elvis sure is one lucky fella to have you as his girl." He admitted, making you blush at the sudden compliment.
"Oh well, I don't know about that, I think I'm real lucky to be with Elvis. He's so talented and kind and all, and I'm just-" You paused, chewing on your lip. "Well, I'm just me, s'pose." 
Jonny could tell that you were a shy, insecure and innocent little thing, in fact, anyone who met you could see that in you. You couldn't read social cues as well as others, even now, it was going right over your pretty head that Jonny was trying to pursue you and had less than favourable intentions towards you.
"Well, I think 'just you' is quite alright doll. Hell, more than alright, even Charlie was sayin' in the car on the ride up here about how beautiful and sweet you are and he sure as hell weren't lyin'." Jonny said, making you blush a little as he walked towards you as you stood by the counter.
A soft giggle left your lips at his words. You thought he was being awful silly, Charlie barely spoke to you. "But Charlie doesn't even speak to me!" You giggled. "He wouldn't say that!" 
Jonny looked down fondly at you. He'd read things about you in the paper and heard multiple stories about you from Charlie and it was never really the King that Jonny had wanted to meet, no, it was you - the King's little princess.
You started to feel a little nervous at how close he was to you, but you tried to brush the feeling aside, figuring that he was just being friendly and oh boy, you really were desperate to get on Mafia's good side and have at least one 'guy friend' of the lot. And even if Jonny wasn't really in Elvis' circle, it was a good enough start you supposed.
"I'd say you were probably the most beautiful girl, I've ever laid eyes on." Jonny said, making your eyes widen at how forward he was being. 
"Oh, um, gee, that sure is kind of you." You said softly, nerves bubbling up, no-one but Elvis spoke to you like this.
"And I sure don't wanna miss an opportunity like this, to be in the presence of the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and not even try n'get a kiss outta it." Jonny muttered lowly, wrapping his big arms around you, locking you into him as your heart rate picked up and panic quickly set in.
"No, no, I don't wanna give you kisses, no I don't kiss no-one, just Elvis, no." You stammered, suddenly very frightened as you tried to wiggle away in his hold.
Your breathing quickened as your tears began to fill your eyes. "Oh honey, it's just a kiss, you're really gon' deny me one lil' kiss?" Jonny chastised. 
You gasped in shock and immediately jolted away as he leaned in towards you, attempting to kiss you as you began to wrestle and thrash in his grasp, desperate to get away from him. Still, it was useless, he had a tight grip on you. 
You didn't know what else to do but elbow him as hard as you could, causing him to cough loudly and stumble backwards, letting you go as he held a hand up to his torso where your elbow had hit him. You couldn't help but feel bad, even though you knew it was the only thing you could do, you just panicked, the interaction scaring you so much. 
Suddenly, Jonny's demeanour wasn't as friendly and affectionate as it had previously been, his eyes dark as he spat on the floor in front of you, a scowl on his face. "You little bitch." He spat, making you flinch, before turning his back on you and exiting the kitchen without giving you another look.
You exhaled in relief as he disappeared as the tears began to roll. There were so many emotions travelling through your mind. You sat down at the little table in the kitchen, covering your face and letting out the soft sobs before you decided you needed to gather your composure. 
There was no way you'd go back to the party, not yet anyway. No, you decided you were going to stay put and try and stay as composed as you possibly could. Everyone always looked forward to a cookout and you didn't want to upset anyone by ruining it, even if it wasn't you that had spoiled everything.
For the next half an hour or so you kept yourself preoccupied with little tasks, from polishing some silverware that you were going to use for dessert later on to organising flowers that you'd picked in the morning.
"Hey there baby, where ya been gone? Yer missin' the food little one." Elvis said, sauntering into the kitchen, a tone of concern in his voice, you'd not appeared in the garden for quite some time which was unlike you, you loved being in the garden and the sun for the cookouts, chatting to all the other women about all sorts of things and standing by Elvis has he cooked the meat, making sure you were doing your best to help by offering to pass him any utensil he needed, just like the good girl that you were. "You okay, honey?" Elvis checked.
"M'okay..." You said softly, focusing your attention on the flowers you were putting into a vase, flowers that you thought were awful pretty lookin'.
Elvis studied your face as he realised you were avoiding eye contact and trying to distract yourself from something with your pretty flowers. 
Elvis sighed a heavy sigh before you felt yourself being spin to face him, as he then picked you up from under your armpits and sat on the counter, right next to your flowers and opposite Elvis. 
Naturally, it was no secret that there was a size difference between you and Elvis and he'd always been able to overpower you and man handle you and in truth, you didn't really mind. No, you didn't really mind when Elvis would just suddenly pick you up and place you in his lap, or pick you up and spin you around after a show, you just felt looked after but on occasions like this, you did wish that he wasn't able to play with you like a rag doll.
"Now, baby, you know I can't help you feel all good n'better if ya don't tell me what's botherin' you, dontchu?" Elvis cooed, placing a finger under your chin and tilting your head up so that you could look at him.
You gulped a little, nervous when you were put on the spot like this, but you nodded compliantly, of course Elvis was right, he was always right.
"Shall we try that again then hm?" Elvis asked and you nodded once more, your eyes becoming ever so glassy with little tears threatening to trickle. "What's got my little love all quiet and sad?" 
You opened your pink, plump lips but a heavy lump in your throat sabotaged you, leaving you unable to voice what had just happened to you. You swallowed the lump in your throat and tried again, Elvis gently rubbing your arm, his concern growing as he watched your state become more and more fragile.
"Y'know Charlie's friend, um, J-Jonny?" You feebly said, you voice barely louder than a whisper. Elvis simply hummed in response, letting you continue. "He um, h-he, well, he was bein' real' friendly see, and, u-um, well I was chattin' to him and then he tried t'kiss me, and, and, I promise I wasn't tryna be a flirt, I p-promise," Your voice cracked at your words, your fear that Elvis would somehow think that you were leading Jonny on, but Elvis knew you were telling the truth the moment the words left your lips.
See, Elvis knew what a good girl you were, you wouldn't hurt a fly nor would you dare lie to him, the only time you'd lied to Elvis was for his birthday when he correctly guessed the present that you were getting him was his favourite cologne. You lied and told him he was wrong to keep up the surprise but the guilt of lying to Elvis wracked through you which you'd eventually told Elvis, and you'd even asked him to drop you off at Confession as you just felt so bad for the white lie you told.
So there was no doubt in Elvis' mind that the little thing that was all sniffly and shy in front of him, would even think about flirting with any other man. He did however believe the idea that a man that was unfamiliar with the guidelines Elvis had set out regarding you, finding you irresistible and vulnerable enough to try and take advantage of you.
"Ssh, baby, it's okay, I know you were just bein' polite honey, dontchu worry about that." Elvis hushed, tracing his fingers along your hairline, trying to soothe you and trying to be as gentle with you as possible, even if there was a hell of a lot of anger bubbling up inside him. 
He watched as you visibly seemed to relax a little at his reassurance, but the ordeal had clearly overwhelmed and scared you.
"Can you tell me what Jonny did to you, baby?" Elvis asked you as you nodded your head shakily, using the sleeve of your top to wipe away stray tears, something Elvis would've scolded you for if it were any other occasion.
"H-He, um, he tried to um, to kiss me Elvis, and I tried to push him away, but he wouldn't, he wouldn't let me go and I elbowed him, and I f-feel, I feel real bad about it because I didn't wanna hurt him, I promise Elvis, I r-really promise but um, it was just so s-scary, I just got scared, I didn't know what to do, I didn't wanna kiss him, I only kiss you." You cried softly and oh, how Elvis' heart broke. 
He blamed himself, he should've known better than to let a stranger into your home together.
"Then, um he, he called me the 'b-word', I don't wanna say it, but you know the one-" You stopped speaking when Elvis nodded, understanding exactly what you were saying. "And then he left and I was just, I guess I just got scared he was gonna tell you I hurt him and I didn't mean to, and I just got upset, I just wanted to make a good impression and make friends with him." You let out a wobbly sigh, exhausted by what had happened. "I just wanted to make friends, m'sorry, it was just the first time one of the guys seemed to like me and I s'pose I just misunderstood." You trailed off, so sad that your attempt at making friends with a guy had backfired so much.
"Oh dolly, you didn't know any better, did you?" Elvis cooed as he looked down on you. You were a teary albeit beautiful sight to behold. You shook your head in agreement. "He clearly had bad intentions baby, just tryna' take advantage of my little girl." 
"I don't think I should have man friends no more." You said gently. "I just wanted some more friends, but I think I should only have girlfriends, I don't wanna be friends with no more guys no more I don't think." You said softly, babbling your thoughts out loud, but it was music to Elvis' ears hearing you believe you shouldn't be surrounded by any men other than him.
"I think that's a very good idea little one." Elvis agreed, cupping your face in his large hands. "I ain't ever gon' let you be in a situation like that again, never." Elvis promised you, his tone so, so serious. 
"Now, I don't think you're in any fit state to be entertainin' sweetheart, and I ain't exactly in the best o'spirits right now, so you're gon' head on upstairs f'me, get undressed and get the bathtub goin', I'm gon' tell all of them outside that party's over, they all gotta go, then I'm gon' come find you and give you a bath and then we're gon' go to the Jungle Room and watch whatever you wanna watch on the television set, okay? Just us." Elvis said and you nodded, certainly liking that idea far more than going outside and being faced with Jonny again, although you did feel bad for ruining the cookout, even if Elvis would later assure you that it was not your fault in the slightest.
Elvis pressed a kiss atop your head before allowing you to jump down from the counter, doing as you were told after cuddling Elvis and running upstairs to yours and Elvis' room. 
As the tub was getting full with water, you couldn't help but peek out of the curtains, watching as each of the guests departed. 
The last guests to leave were Charlie and Jonny and even though they were in the car and a little hard to see, you could've sworn Jonny was driving away with a busted lip and black eye. But when you asked Elvis about it nervously, he reminded you that you'd had a very overwhelming day and you weren't thinking straight and you nodded, realising that he was probably right. 
Elvis was always right.
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btsficsandsuch · 7 months
Text
You Better Figure It Out- Part 2
Yoongi can’t figure out a way to prove to you that he never cheated. When you hear stories about his encounters with other women it starts to make you question your decision.
Part 1 Here
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The plane ride back home was difficult. You tried your best to hide your tear stained face but after a few hours you just stopped caring. People stared and whispered, but your mind and your heart were so full of other things that it didn’t even matter to you. Yoongi had called you 16 times by the time your plane took off. You lost count of how many text messages he’d sent. Some of them apologizing, most of them begging. You had been cheated on in the past and Yoongi knew that too which is why you were extra hurt.
You wanted to believe he didn’t cheat on you but how could you? Your last boyfriend managed to hide his infidelity from you for six months and the two of you lived together and even worked for the same business. You and Yoongi spent a significant amount of time apart so it would be super easy for him to hide it from you. You thought of all the times he left for tour and you couldn’t go because of work and you wondered what he did when he was alone after the show or all the times he was locked in his studio all night and told you not to come by because he was busy. Now you were wondering exactly what he meant by “busy”.
When you finally made it back to your apartment the first thing you wanted to do was take a hot shower. Opening the bedroom door you were hit with a wave of disgust when you looked at the bed. The bed that you and Yoongi spent countless nights in cuddling, talking, showing each other love. What if he brought other women home and cheated on you with them in that bed? Suddenly you felt dirty being in that apartment. It didn’t feel like home any more. You grabbed another bag and packed some clean clothes. You were going to go stay with a friend for a while until you could find a new place. Luckily Yoongi wasn’t going to be home for a while so you didn’t have to worry about getting all of your things out just yet.
Over the course of the next few weeks Yoongi still called and texted you every day. Then you started getting texts from the boys asking you what was going on because Yoongi was inconsolable since you left. You knew things were serious when you got a voicemail from Bang PD letting you know that he was starting to get really worried about him. Part of you wanted to call and make sure he was okay at least but you ultimately decided against it. He brought this on himself and it’s not your responsibility to fix it. If things weren’t stressful enough for you, you still hadn’t found somewhere to live and the tour was almost over. Yoongi would be home in a few days and you weren’t sure what you were going to do.
You just arrived home from work when you heard your phone going off again. You went to delete the message assuming it was just Yoongi again but stopped when you saw it was Namjoon asking if the two of you could meet up now that they were home from the tour. You were hesitant but he promised no Yoongi so you gave in and you agreed to meet him the next day.
“Y/N it’s good to see you. How are you?”, Namjoon said while giving you a hug. You smiled, “I’m alright. How was the rest of the tour?” He sighed, “Tiring to say the least but we love it.” There was a long silence before he continued, “So you probably know why I wanted to talk so soon after getting back.” You nodded realizing that they would’ve just got in this morning. He continued, “Yoongi didn’t tell us the full story. He just said he messed up and he doesn’t know how to fix it. All I know is he’s not been the same Yoongi since you left.” You weren’t sure how much you wanted to involve him. At the end of the day this was between you and Yoongi but you thought maybe he might know something. “Namjoon, I want you to be 100% honest with me. Has he ever cheated on me?” You decided to give him more context before he answered, “He accused me of cheating and then admitted that he cheated on me. When I proved that I didn’t cheat he tried to backtrack and tell me that he never cheated. I don’t know if I believe him.”
Namjoon was quiet for a while like he was trying to decide how to answer. Finally he spoke, “Look Y/N I’m not with him 24/7 so I can’t tell you for sure.” You felt your heart sink. He continued, “But I can tell you there was this one time while we were on tour we had met a group of girls. We were all hanging out and drinking. People started getting touchy with each other. This one girl in particular really wanted Yoongi. I mean she was all over him.” The thought of some other girl all over him made you sick. You weren’t sure what the point of this story was and why he was telling you it. He continued almost like he could read your mind, “Yoongi kept pushing her away and telling her he wasn’t interested. She was persistent. Next thing I know her top is flying across the room and she’s straddling him in just her skirt and bra.” You’d had enough, “Joon what is the point of this story?” He chuckled, “Let me finish. He immediately shoved her off of his lap and left the room. Later that night Jimin found him asleep in his bed with his laptop open showing a slideshow of photos of you and he was hugging that tshirt of yours that he brings with him anytime we leave the country. My point is he could’ve easily had that girl if he wanted but he didn’t. Instead he laid in bed staring at pictures of you and clutching your shirt like it was the last thing he had left of you.” You had forgotten all about the blue tshirt you had gotten on a family vacation when you were 17. It was one of your favorites and Yoongi had accidentally packed it with his belongings before going on tour one time. He shyly told you how he had slept with it every night because it felt like you were there with him. Ever since then you let him keep it and it became like a comfort blanket for him when he was away.
Namjoon brought you back to the present as he continued, “Like I said Y/N, I can’t guarantee what Yoongi does when I’m not there but from what I do see I personally don’t think he’d cheat on you. The opportunity has presented itself several times over the years but he never acts on it. Ultimately though it’s up to you to decide if you want to move forward or end the relationship now. But please at least talk to him either way. We are really concerned about his well being right now.”
Even though you were more conflicted now you thanked Namjoon for talking with you and went on your way back home. You tried to clear your head on the walk back. On one hand you really believed that he wouldn’t cheat based on what Namjoon said but like he also said he’s not with him all the time. He was right about talking to him though. You knew that had to be done even if it was just to discuss moving your things out. You sent a quick text to him asking if the two of you could talk back at the apartment. Almost instantly you received a text back letting you know he was already there so you changed direction and made your way over.
You let yourself into the apartment for the first time in weeks. It felt even less like home than it did when you last left. You found Yoongi standing at the kitchen counter making two cups of coffee. You couldn’t believe how terrible he looked. His skin looked of a grayish color. He had dark bags under his eyes like he hadn’t slept in months. It looked like he had lost close to 20lbs since you last saw him. He looked up when he noticed you standing in the room. Slowly he walked over and handed you a cup of coffee, “I made it just like you like it.” You softly smiled and took the mug from him before sitting down. He stood staring for a moment like he was unsure where he should sit. Eventually he settled on the chair next to you.
“How have you been Y/N? Are you taking care of yourself?”, he asked. “I’m doing alright. How have you been?”, you inquired. He was biting his lip. Before he could speak the tears started flowing from his eyes. He started hyperventilating and shaking. Instinctively you reached for his hand, “Yoongi breathe. Just calm down and breathe. When is the last time you ate something or even slept?” He shook his head, “I don’t know. I don’t really care to do either any more.” “Yoongi you have to take care of yourself. Please. I hate seeing you like this.” You got up and checked the cabinets to find something to eat. Thankfully there were some instant noodles you were able to heat up. Setting the bowl in front of him you spoke, “Please eat. It’s the least you can do for me.” You watched as he finally started to eat the noodles. It was almost like you could see some life immediately brought back into his body.
You let him finish his meal and calm down a little before you decided to move forward with the reason you were there. “How do we move forward from this?”, you asked. He stared out of the window, “I don’t know Y/N. There’s no way for me to prove to you that I didn’t cheat. I love you more than life itself but I can’t force you to forgive me. What I did was disgusting and I broke your trust. I understand if you don’t want to continue this relationship any more.”, You sat in silence for a while before finally speaking up, “I agree Yoongi. I can’t trust you any more and I don’t think I can continue this.” He winced at your words before solemnly nodding. “Please take care of yourself Yoongi.”, you whispered before making your way to the front door.
You were finally able to find an apartment you could afford even though Yoongi had offered to let you have the apartment you shared. It didn’t feel right so you declined. You hadn’t heard from Yoongi since you stopped over to get the rest of your things. He still looked miserable but he didn’t say much. He helped you carry down some of your boxes to your car before disappearing to your once shared bedroom.
It had been several weeks since you heard from him when one day you got a text from him saying he had a box of your things at his studio. He said you could stop by any time and pick it up. You told him you’d stop by one day after work and that was the end of the conversation. It’s was a Friday evening and you were able to sneak out of work a little early so you thought it would be the perfect time to go get your stuff from his studio. You made the familiar walk to the building and then made your way past security and up his room.
Standing in front if his door you were about to knock when the door suddenly swung open and a woman came storming out slamming the it behind her. “Seriously, he already moved on?”, you thought feeling your heart break. “Oh are you here to see Yoongi? Well good luck. I swear I could walk in there naked and he wouldn’t even notice.”, she said dripping with sarcasm. You were pretty speechless not really sure what was going on. For some reason this woman thought you wanted to have this conversation so she continued, “Some guys are so blind or maybe just dumb. I’ve been trying to get with him for years. He always shot me down saying he had a girlfriend. I’d say what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. He still wouldn’t give in and told me he’d never do that to her. Whoever his girlfriend was must’ve been something special. Then I find out that they recently broke up. So I’m like okay cool. Now is my chance but he’s still rejecting me claiming he’s still in love and trying to get her back.” She eventually walked away still rambling. You were in disbelief at what you just heard. How could someone be so selfish?
You knocked on his door and waited for him to answer. When he did you greeted him with a slight smile, “I just met your friend. She seems nice.” He chuckled and invited you in. “So what’s her deal? It seems like she’s been giving you a hard time for a while.”, you asked. “That’s just Mae. She’s been working here for like three years. Her dads one of the big shots so she gets away with a lot. She’s been flirting with me and making advances on me for years. I think I’m the first person to tell her no in her life so she doesn’t like it.”, he said with a laugh. You began thinking back to the story that Namjoon told you about how Yoongi had rejected the girl while he was on tour and he also kept rejecting this Mae girl. You started wondering if maybe he didn’t ever cheat on you. He’s clearly had plenty of chances but has always turned them down.
You were shaken out of this thoughts when Yoongi spoke, “Your box is by the door. There’s some notebooks and supplies. Your favorite fuzzy socks are in there. I know you’ll want those back. Your favorite tshirt is also in there. I forgot it was still in my luggage.” You looked over and saw your blue vacation shirt that Yoongi always took with him on tour peaking out of the box. You were fidgeting with the sleeve of your blouse wondering if you’ll regret this next action or not, “Yoongi, you really never cheated on me did you?” He looked up at you, “Y/N I swear on my career, on my family, on my life itself. I never cheated on you. When I saw you at that pub and I thought you were getting that guys number I was hurt and scared and angry. I always expected you to leave me one day because I’m not the best at this relationship thing and I thought that day had finally come. I wanted you to feel the hurt that I was feeling. I said the one thing that I knew would hurt you the most and I’ll never forgive myself for it.”
You could feel the tears starting to well up in your eyes. You missed him so much. “Y/N you can say no if you want but can I hug you?” You nodded and he slowly wrapped his arms around you. It had been so long since you felt a relief like that. No one could hold you like him, comfort you like him, or love you like him. “Please give me another chance. I promise that nothing like this will ever happen again. You’ll never doubt my commitment or love for you.”, he whispered to you.
You pulled away to look into his eyes. It felt like years since you’d done that. His eyes were filled with sincerity. “I’m not saying I forgive you and I’m not saying that things will go right back to the way they were because it’s definitely going to take time but I do think that if we work on this we could repair our relationship.”, you said. Yoongi smiled, “I would really like that.” He took your hand in his, “If you like you could stay here for a little bit. I’ll order us some food. It’ll be like a repeat of our first date.” You thought back to that night and chuckled, “Yeah that sounds nice. Just please don’t spill your drink on me out of nervousness this time.” He laughed as he started ordering the food from his phone. You went over to the box of your things on the floor and took out the blue tshirt. You walked to Yoongi’s computer chair and laid the shirt over the back before leaning over and giving him a kiss on the cheek. He looked back at the shirt and then up at you before smiling. You took a seat on the couch and continued to watch him as he pondered over what to order. You knew he was the one that broke your heart to begin with but you also knew deep down that he’d be the one that could slowly stitch it back together.
@anon-1112
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chaoticbardlady99 · 4 months
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Yesterday I Felt like Dancing (Astarion x GN! Reader)
Synopsis: You have burnt both ends of the candle and haven’t been taking care of your mental health. Unable to get yourself out of bed, Astarion begins to worry about you…
Author note- I have been hardcore struggling with my mental health lately and writing my silly little fics has been the only thing pulling me along. I thought it might be therapeutic to write about my current feelings (I have ADHD, MDD, and GAD so it’s a party up in here). I hope you enjoy!
CW- Suicidal Ideation, symptoms of depression, brief outburst, mentions of mental health diagnosis and poor medical advice.
Title inspired by song “Into the Walls” by Griff.
*not my pic, could not tell you where I found it so I apologize in advance. If you think it might be your picture, please message me so I can give proper credit.
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Your last day before backtracking from the Mountain Pass to the Goblin camp is a difficult one.
Not for the group as a whole- just you specifically.
Days before a Mindflayer kidnapped you, a healer back home had told you your brain was sick. You had been devastated- resigned to your miserable fate.
You had been struggling for years at that point with inconsistent motivation, exhaustion, nightmares, and irrational thoughts for months. You have been functional for the most part, but then an overpowering wave will hit you like Warhammer in the ribs and you are rendered useless until it passes.
The healer suggested sunlight, exercise, eating healthy, and spending time with friends to help your affliction when you hit rock bottom. You were wildly unimpressed with her. At the time, you preferred to self isolate so you stayed by yourself in the woods trying to find peace there. You would have to let her know that her “going out and enjoying the sun” message is not always wise- you may get a tadpole shoved in your head. You can’t be that mad though- the tadpole helped bring your pep back.
Anyway, you have been doing all of that for weeks now, you even felt great, but today? You could not have hit rock bottom harder even if you tried.
You woke up that morning unable to get yourself out of bed. It was a rest day so it wasn’t a big deal, but you also know that your companions are going to have things they need to talk to you about and favors they need you to take care of.
Gods you had tried to get up. You are grateful that your past self had the gumption to wash off and change into clean clothes last night, but your armor is still disgustingly sitting outside your tent and your hair is long and wild. You had wanted to braid it, but it all felt like too much work.
Everything feels like too much work right now- even staying awake- so you drift in and out of uncomfortable naps throughout the morning. No matter how many times you fall asleep, begging for relief from the painful brick wall sitting on your brain, it never leaves.
You can feel the midday breeze rustle your tent. You’ve been laying here for hours now. You are crying and you honestly aren’t sure why. You feel completely paralyzed by all the things you need to do to be ready for the Underdark.
You need to clean your armor, go over the Goblin Camp’s map with Wyll, find Gale a magical artifact, and probably comfort Lae’zel since she’s been branded a heretic- but you won’t. The shame and self loathing continues. You are a silly, worthless little human being.
Every person who knocks on your tent gets a simple, “I’m just not feeling well,” and then they walk away. You don’t know why it makes you more sad than appreciative. If you were in their shoes- you would be bending over backwards to make sure they had everything they needed and you wouldn’t let them feel alone. Then you resent yourself for feeling that way towards your companions- they don’t owe you anything and you were the one who chose to help them- you didn’t ask for anything in return. This is all your fault.
The only person who hadn’t come to visit you was Astarion- which hurt your heart just a little, enough that the numbness coursing thickly through your body wavered for a moment. You are quite smitten and he is obviously not. Another mistake to add to the swirling black hole your mind has fallen into.
You knew it was stupid to want his comfort and affections- you had merely slept together a little less than a week ago. Astarion has been quasi avoiding you ever since and when he does talk to you- he’s awkward. You constantly look for flying pigs- Astarion feeling awkward or being awkward is unheard of.
You have come to accept that you were just some tryst and obviously he hadn’t enjoyed it as much as he said he did.
Astarion isn’t to blame and the situation itself certainly didn’t contribute to the sudden lack of emotions. You knew that you were on the verge of a mental collapse sooner rather than later, but you had foolishly hoped you wouldn’t be alone through it. It feels less all consuming when you try to find a reason. It’s more comfortable to know than it is to give up and say, “my brain is fucked and there isn’t a damn thing I can do so I guess I’m stuck here.”
You are jolted out of your thoughts by another knock on your tent.
“I’m sick,” you say flatly.
“Ha- you act like that will deter me. I can’t even get sick, Darling.”
Before you even have time to register that Astarion is on the other side of your tent- he pushes his way through the flaps and stares down at you in confusion. And… concern?
Astarion steps inside and kneels down next to you- scanning you for evidence of illness or injury.
“I suppose I had been worried for nothing,” he smiles sweetly at you, “you are totally fine. Come on Darling, you have to get up and eat. Wyll is fumbling with that map.”
You look at him and begin to cry. Astarion’s face lights up with alarm.
“What- what did I do!?”
“Please don’t make me,” you sob, “I just want a break. I’m so tired. I want to lay in this bed forever and never leave, but there is so much to do and it’s paralyzing.”
You continue to cry and you cover yourself with the extra blanket- successfully hiding your face.
“Go away,” you whisper, “I need to be left alone.”
You say it, but you are far from meaning it. You want him to stay- to hold you- but he doesn’t want you so it will only make everything hurt worse once the numbness fades away.
You wait for several moments and then you hear him leave. Your silent cry turns into choked sobs and your body is shaking from the pain you are in. The numbness hurts. The numbness tells you that you shouldn’t be alive.
Maybe you shouldn’t be.
Everyone here would be able to figure it out on their own (eventually) and you would finally be free. Free of your uncomfortable brain, free of your ugly body- free of the expectations of others. You would no longer be holding them back like you are today- like you will again in the future.
You are sure they would temporarily grieve you, but that was the deal with this whole journey. You had all accepted that one of you or all of you could die at any moment. You will just put them in more danger by being here…
You shake the thought from your head, violently- your head is pounding from the growing tension headache and dehydration. The tears eventually stop and you just… well, lay in bed again. You stare blankly at a book over in the corner. You keep trying to convince yourself to get up and read the damn thing- do literally ANYTHING else than just stay here in your bedroll.
Instead, you fall asleep.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
You wake up to someone knocking on your tent post. You grumble incoherently, covering your head and you hear your unexpected guest sit down next to you. The smell of food fills the tent and your stomach grumbles.
“You need to eat, my Dear,” Astarion says softly.
You are stunned to hear his voice grace your ears. You slowly pull the blanket down to just below your eyes and look at him. Astarion looks distressed, like he doesn’t want to be here. Why would he? You’re a nuisance.
You sit up gingerly and grab the bowl from him. You manage to give him a lopsided smile.
“Thanks. You don’t need to stay, I will be fine on my own,” you say apathetically, staring into the broth.
“I want to stay,” he says, “if you’ll have me.”
The expression on his face is unreadable, but he seems genuine. You nod, your lips pressed together tightly. You eat as much as you feel like while Astarion studies you.
Usually your anxiety is at an all time high (in maybe one of the better ways) when you are around Astarion- he gives you butterflies, butterflies, and even more butterflies. Usually your heart is racing in his presence, but right now you just feel empty.
“Where is your hairbrush?” Astarion asks.
You frown with confusion, “it’s in my bag, why?”
Astarion gets up and goes over to the bag- digging out a few items. He pulls out a lantern, your hairbrush, and a hair tie. Astarion comes over to you and sits down behind you. You feel him gather up the stray pieces of your hair and get to work.
Astarion runs his fingers through your scalp and your tangled hair- the feeling is soothing and it opens something inside of you. Your body shakes silently with sobs and you feel the worm behind your eyes wiggle as Astarion asks for access. You aren’t sure.
“I want to understand,” Astarion says, “please.”
His voice is so raw and desperate- you swallow thickly before allowing him to explore your current emotional state. The silence in the tent is palpable and you feel tense, uncomfortable even. No one has ever cared for you while you are in this state before.
You feel him continue his hairbrushing after he exits your mind. Astarion leaves soft kisses on your shoulder as he gently pulls apart every knot. It helps- you realize- to feel cared for. The numbness still hurts, you still hurt, but it’s nice to not feel so alone.
After Astarion is done brushing your hair, you feel his delicate fingers begin to intricately braid your hair. You wonder when he learned how to do hair.
“Leon’s daughter, Victoria, used to ask me to braid her hair all the time,” Astarion says in a bittersweet voice as if reading your mind, “I picked it up so that she would stop bugging me about it. She said and I quote, ‘you have the perfect braiding hands!’”
You smile to yourself tenderly, “That’s very kind of you, Star. I am sure she appreciated it as much as I appreciate it now.”
You feel Astarion’s hands falter at your words and you are unsure if you have upset him or not. A pregnant pause occurs before Astarion finally clears his throat and goes back to braiding your hair.
“I’m glad that I can help,” Astarion’s delicate, vulnerable words hang in the air, “I’ve… been worried about you today.”
You feel positively flustered and bad for making him feel that way.
“Oh you don’t need to worry about silly ole me! This happens sometimes” you make your voice chirpier than it needs to be, “This is actually the longest I’ve gone for a long time without this happening. I have theorized that the tadpole might help which is kinda cool- I think?”
You laugh awkwardly- desperate to ease his worry.
“How often does this happen?”
Shit. That was the winning question wasn’t it? Astarion will surely never see you as anything less than broken now.
“I’m not really sure,” your voice comes out in a whisper, “I usually always feel a bit of it all the time, but it’s manageable. I function very well regardless.”
“But this one isn’t manageable and evidently you aren’t functional right now.”
You sigh, “No, it isn’t and no, I’m not.”
“What changed?”
“Nothing,” you say, maybe too harshly, “that’s the part that drives me crazy. Yesterday was incredible- I was on top of the whole world, felt like dancing and screaming from the rooftops, but today!?”
You inhale and hold back the muted scream that wants to fill the air.
“Today,” you hiss, “I don’t even want to deal with any of this shit anymore. I’m so fucking tired. There is too much to fucking do and too many people depending on me. Then everyone gets irritated with me if I ask to push off their problems so I persevere through it despite knowing I’m getting bad again. I’m a giant stinking trash heap that everyone keeps adding more to.”
Astarion finishes braiding your hair and presses your back to his chest, pulling you into him. He puts his arms around your waist and settles his chin and face in between the crook of your neck.
“I just feel like such a nuisance all the time- no matter how hard I push myself to prove I’m not. Sometimes I think everyone would be better off if I just… went away.”
You both sit there quietly. At some point he had taken one of your hands in his and he was tracing shapes into the back of it with his thumb. Your omission still hangs heavily in the air.
“I wouldn’t be better off,” Astarion says hotly, “I’d be stuck with all these weirdos by myself. That would be truly miserable, Darling.”
You shake your head, a half smile on your face.
“And besides- you are not even close to a nuisance,” Astarion states, leaving a kiss on your cheek, “at least you aren’t in constant need of magical objects to eat or blood to drink. Oh and you don’t require a painstaking amount of searching to prevent you from literally burning everyone alive.
“Oh and did I forget to mention, we have not one, but two women who despise each other and follow hateful Goddesses which was a fun choice for whatever sick bastard twisted our fates this way.”
You laugh breathily, closing your eyes and letting the sound defrost some of your insides.
“What I’m saying is- I think you are the least of everyone’s ‘nuisances’, my Darling,” he says, squeezing you tighter to his chest, “despite how little you think of yourself. We ne- no, I want you to stay. I know everyone else would say the same, but I must emphasize that I would be horribly distraught if you disappeared. Hells I’d even pay to have you resurrected.”
You gasp playfully, your voice falling slightly flat, “You? The most frugal man I have ever met would pay 200 gold coins to ‘Strike thy name from the record’?”
Your impression of Withers gets Astarion to genuinely laugh- the sound vibrating in your chest. You lean into him and he guides you back to laying down. Astarion entangles his legs with yours as he holds you tightly- your faces are mere centimeters apart. You love the way Astarion smells- rosemary, bergamot, and brandy. You wish you could be wrapped up in him forever. You are still in pain- everything still hurts and feels too difficult, but right now it feels a little less heavy.
“I would throw bags of Gold Coins at that corpse out of revenge, my Dear,” he teases, “you couldn’t possibly think I would ever let you rest peacefully in your grave- I would be far too angry with you and unhappy without you to let that happen.”
You lay there and despite yourself, you lean forward and leave butterfly kisses along his cheeks with your lashes. Astarion scrunches up his nose reflexively and smiles at you. You plant a sweet, short kiss on his lips.
“Thank you Astarion- for everything.”
You close your eyes as he traces circles along your lower back. Your eyes begin to droop, and you fall asleep.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
When you wake up the next morning- you are disappointed to find that you are all alone in your tent. The heavy numbness is still there and you sigh. At least last night made it more bearable.
You look on the side where Astarion had been sleeping and find a note with a bottle attached to it. You pick it up and begin to read.
Tav,
Astarion had asked me about herbs for some relief regarding mental discomforts. I unfortunately don’t know many, but this is a mixture of St. John’s Wort, Valerian Root, and Ashwagandha. Historically, I know these have been used to alleviate emotional and mental pain.
Astarion didn’t tell me why he was asking, but I deduced it was you pretty quickly when he began shooing everyone away from your tent this morning.
I hope this helps- we are all here if you need us. May Silvanus light your path as you navigate this difficult time.
-Halsin
You sit in your own stunned silence for what feels like hours. Halsin knows and he wants to help? Halsin doesn’t think you are screwed or a nuisance? The man barely even knows you!
You are a bit embarrassed, but you can’t help but laugh at the image of Astarion telling everyone to leave you alone.
You open the bottle and a pleasant, earthy smell fills the tent. You drink the mixture (that definitely does not taste anywhere near as pleasant as it smells) and you do feel a slight bit better. Your apathy feels even more tolerable now. You will have to thank Halsin.
You slowly rise from your tent and look around. Everything is packed up neatly in the corner- your clothes from the previous day are folded nicely and you notice all the holes are sewn up.
You jump when someone enters your tent abruptly- the midday sun warming your skin. You turn around and Astarion is smiling at you, but looks nervous.
“I cleaned off your armor and your weapons,” he says awkwardly, scratching the back of his head, “I also packed up your stuff- as you can see. We have to start leaving unfortunately, but I’ll help you get on your armor like I usually do- I might still need help with mine though, but I can ask someone else if it’s too much for you right now. Lae’zel and Karlach offered to pack up your tent. Wyll and Shadowheart figured out the map- Wyll is going to be our ‘fearless’ leader for the day. Gale has some food for you to snack on while we travel- which you will be eating, by the way.”
Astarion is looking at you with a vulnerable expression on his face. He plays nervously with the gold coin in his hands.
You can hardly believe what you are hearing.
“Did- did you do all this for me?” You say with disbelief.
You never thought Astarion was capable of smiling shyly until he had admitted to you that you had been his first thinking creature- you certainly never thought you’d see him become shy twice in your presence.
“I did and it wasn’t a nuisance so don’t even begin to worry about that,” He walks over to you, gently cradling your face in his hands, “I hope this is all okay.”
You smile- the first genuine feeling of happiness you’ve felt in the last 24 hours gently sparks in your chest as you stare up at him. You get up on your tiptoes and bridge the gap between your lips.
“Thank you Astarion, this is perfect- you are perfect,” you are crying tears of joy, “this is the kindest gesture anyone has ever made for me. So just, thank you.”
“Of course, Darling,” he says smiling in between kisses, “I won’t let you lose to yourself. We’ll get through this together from now on- no more hiding.”
And for once? You actually believe someone.
-if you guys like this, please let me know if you would want a part two written from Astarion’s perspective.
Update- I did the thing you silly geese
https://www.tumblr.com/chaoticbardlady99/735969926279528448/i-took-all-this-love-i-found-and-i-hope-that-its
Tag-list: @spacebarbarianweird @domainoflostsouls
282 notes · View notes
cozage · 9 months
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The Daughter's Return: Chapter Three
Some Friendly Advice
This is a fullblown multichapter fic now. Get ready for a slowburn mutual pining fic full of love and angst and so much drama. I'm sorry in advance (if you want to be tagged in any follow up just reply to this post or send me a message!) Characters: female reader x Portgas D. Ace Word Count: 5k
Part One | Part Four | Table of Contents | Read on A03
You woke up in a bed that wasn’t yours and a room that was much too dark to be a bunkhouse. Marco must’ve brought you back to his cabin after you fell asleep at the party. How embarrassing. You hadn’t even drank that much. Yesterday must've been more exhausting than you realized. 
You stretched out your arms, trying to push the sleep out of your body to start the day. Your hand pushed against another body, which was odd. Marco didn’t usually share a bed with you, but it happened sometimes. 
“What time is it?” You groaned.
“Not sure.”
The voice that definitely didn’t belong to Marco made you pause. It was hoarse, so it took you a few moments to place it. 
“Ace?” Your voice caught in your throat as you spoke. 
“Hi.”
You suddenly felt very claustrophobic, sharing such a small space with your commander. When it was Marco you never minded, but this was Ace. And you shared a bed with him last night. You didn’t even remember leaving the party. How on earth did you end up here, in this small and very private room?
Ace must’ve sensed your discomfort. “Nothing happened,” he quickly assured you. “Marco’s door was locked, so I brought you in here to sleep.” 
You raised your eyebrow, even though he couldn’t see it. You didn’t believe him. Not completely. 
“So why am I in bed with you?”
“Oh. Uh, well-” He sounded abnormally nervous as he stammered on his words, trying to find an explanation. “Uhm, you…kind of asked me to join you?”
Your mouth dropped open, unable to hide your shock. “Bullshit,” you hissed.
“I swear!” Ace said. “I was going to sleep on the floor, I-”
A sharp knock cut him off, and both of your eyes cut to the door. 
“Ace!” Marco’s voice called from the other side. “Wake up, man! Pops wants to talk to you.”
You could feel Ace tense at Marco’s words, and you found yourself concerned as well. Nothing happened on the Moby Dick without your father knowing about it. You weren’t sure if that included who spent the night in which rooms, but you prayed that your father didn’t concern himself with things so trivial. 
Ace cleared his throat, his eyes darting around the room nervously. “Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute.”
You scowled at him and his nervous behavior. “If we didn’t do anything, why are-”
You had been whispering, but Ace clamped a hand over your mouth and threw a finger to his lips, silently begging you to be quiet. 
Marco’s voice hummed disapprovingly from outside the door. “Ace? Come on.”
You heard the door knob jiggle as Marco tried to enter the room, but thankfully Ace had locked it last night. 
“I’ll meet you there!” Ace called out, slight desperation in his voice. You knew that wouldn’t go unnoticed by Marco. 
“No way,” Thatch’s muffled voice came from outside the door. “Hurry it up with whoever you got in there and let’s go.”
So it wasn’t just Marco waiting outside. You squinted your eyes in suspicion at Thatch’s words, but Ace just shook his head at you, begging you to be silent. 
“I promise I’ll explain everything later, okay?” he whispered as softly as he could. “But I swear on my life, I would never-”
“Ace!” Marco’s voice came again, and you heard a chorus of laughter outside the door.
“Coming!” Ace yelled to the group congregating outside your door. He redirected his attention to you and whispered one last thing. “I would never take advantage of you, or anyone, like that. I swear. We’ll talk later, just stay hidden until we all leave.”
With those words, he jumped out of bed and threw the cover over you. You heard him shuffling around the room getting dressed, and you were thankful for the blanket covering your face. It hid your reddened cheeks from your imagination going wild. A small part of you wanted to peek out from under the covers, but your morning had already been filled with enough embarrassment. 
“Damn, Ace,” Curiel hollered through the door. “Who on earth do you have in there? You must be taking your sweet time-”
You heard the creak of the door opening, and you froze. You were under the blanket and safely tucked away from any outsider’s gaze, but you couldn’t help feeling small in this situation. 
“Wish it were you?” Ace teased, cutting Curiel off. 
“Dude, you look horrible!” Thatch barked out, a gaggle of laughs emitting from various commanders. “What poor soul kept you up last night?”
“Whoever it is, I bet they’re feeling it now!” Another voice quipped, one you didn’t recognize. 
You could feel yourself starting to steam with anger, and you forced yourself to calm down. Steam would alert everyone to your presence, and ruin your current anonymity.
“Shut up,” Ace mumbled. He seemed to be equally as annoyed with their jests. He shut the door quickly behind him as you hid under the covers, leaving you alone in the darkness. The sounds of group laughter was shortly followed by heavy footsteps receding, and you finally breathed a sigh of relief. You were finally alone. 
You wanted to believe that Ace had brought you to his room on his own accord, but the end of the night was becoming clearer to you by the second. You had asked Ace to go back to his room, asked him to lay in bed with you. You might’ve even taken it a step further and actually slept with him, if he hadn’t been so uneasy about doing so. 
Ace certainly wasn’t the one to blame in your current situation. But it did seem like he had some kind of reputation amongst his fellow commanders. Their words made your chest hurt, though you weren’t sure why. You barely knew Portgas D. Ace. It all felt complicated, and made your head spin just from thinking about it. 
You groaned, finally removing the cover and looking around the room. Ace’s room was an organized kind of messy. You could see that everything had a place where it kind of belonged. Even if nobody else understood his system, he would. 
He didn’t have a lot of things, but the one recurring thing you did see scattered across his room was, strangely enough, sea shells. All of them were different sizes, shapes, and colors. There were probably hundreds scattered around his room. On his desk, on his nightstand, even along his wall. You would have to ask him about it later, if you could ever muster up the courage to speak to him again. 
You needed to leave. You didn’t want to be back here when Ace and the other commanders returned. Your stomach rumbled in agreement, and you decided that the dining hall would be your next stop. You opened the door and slipped out into the hallway as quietly as you could. As you clicked the door into place, you gave a quick glance around to see if there had been any witnesses, and your eyes met Izou’s. 
Your eyes widened upon the realization. You opened your mouth, debating between begging for his silence or explaining what happened, but Izou held a hand up. 
“None of my business, kid,” he said quickly. “It’s already forgotten.”
Izou darted into his room before you had a chance to form any words, leaving you alone in the hallway. 
“Thank you,” you muttered to both Izou and the universe as you started down the corridor. 
Anyone else would’ve plastered your scandal on the front page of every News Coo they could find. But Izou had always had your back. You weren’t sure why you didn’t go to him for more things instead of Marco. Maybe you should talk to the sixteenth division commander more often.  
It was ending breakfast time in the mess hall, so there weren’t many options left. You grabbed a few pastries and sat down with some of your old friends who were always late risers after a party night. 
“You! You didn’t come back to the bunkhouse last night!” Whitey announced as you sat down next to her. 
You gave her a side glare, and you saw all of your friends perk up at the hint of gossip. 
“I always sleep in Marco’s room on party nights,” you said. Which was the truth, just not the truth about last night. 
“Marco, huh?” a girl you didn’t know said, with deep curiosity. She had fiery red hair and purple lipstick on. “You’re into older guys then?” she asked.
“Ew,” you said, disgusted with her implication. “Marco is like my brother.” You took a bite of the raspberry pastry you had grabbed. “Or maybe like my uncle?”
“Your hot brother-uncle,” Epoida corrected.
You wrinkled your nose at the thought. “Gross, Epoida.”
“We all have our own tastes, hunny.”
“Clearly.”
“So what’s yours?” the red-haired girl asked you. She was watching you closely, making you a little self-conscious about your disheveled appearance. 
“Y/N is the second division strategist now,” Brew said, sitting down next to the red-haired girl. “That title speaks for itself about what she’s into.”
The group turned to look at you in shock. The news must not have spread yet. You wrinkled your nose in disgust again, hoping they didn’t see the blush appearing across your cheeks. 
“You’re one to talk, Brew,” you shot back. “You always loved to-”
“I’m settled down now!” Brew remarked, cutting you off before you could finish your sentence. His arm wrapped around the red-haired girl. “This is Sally, and I’m all hers!”
You gave a soft snicker at that, thinking back on all the times Brew had tried to get with you before you had left. “I guess people really can change,” you said snarkily.
Brew stuck his tongue out at you from behind Sally, which made you snort. At least some things never changed. 
“When are we supposed to hit the next island?” you asked, hoping to change the subject away from love interests. 
“I think tomorrow,” Whitey said, looking out the porthole to the sea. “I hope tomorrow. I need an island day.”
“Makes sense.” You took another bite of your pastry. “We need to restock before the mission next week.”
Apparently that news hadn’t gotten around either, because everyone’s head swiveled to look at you. 
“Mission?” Whitey asked.
“How do you know about a new mission?” Epoida demanded. 
“Oh, I didn’t know it wasn’t public. It’s not finalized yet,” you said. It wasn’t finalized because you hadn’t gotten the list done. Damn Portgas D. Ace for distracting you so much. 
“Did you not know it was a secret because Ace told you?” Brew asked. His voice carried a little tune when he spoke Ace’s name, and you had to grit your teeth to avoid saying something sarcastic. 
“It’s actually because I’m the strategist,” you said between clenched teeth. Your hand had turned into a fist, crushing your pastry. 
“Brew, cut it out!” Whitey came to your defense, rolling her eyes. “Y/N wouldn’t go for a guy like Ace anyway.”
Epoida nodded. “Ace is way too much of a…” she paused, trying to find the right words. 
“Man-whore?” Sally offered.
“Flirt,” Epoida corrected, shooting Sally a look. “He still is a division commander, Sally.”
“Only because he took Y/N’s promised position!” Whitey yelled. 
Her upstart caused a few people to glance your way. “Whitey,” you hissed. “It’s fine. Really.”
“Really?” asked Sally. “I thought you’d be more upset from all the stories I heard about you.”
“I’m really okay,” you said truthfully. “I like working with Ace.”
All of the girls gawked at you, their mouths wide open. But Brew busted out into laughter at your comment. 
“Oh my god,” Brew wheezed out. “He’s already got you wrapped around his finger.”
“Y/N,” Whitey said, her eyes practically bugging out of her head. “Please tell me you didn’t sleep with him already.”
“What?!? No, of course I didn’t!” you insisted, though it wasn’t necessarily the truth. You had slept in the same bed as him, but you hadn’t slept with him. It was different.
“I swear he’s slept with half the girls on this ship,” Epoida said. 
“And half the guys,” Brew added, which got a contemplative nod from everyone at the table. 
“Y/N,” Whitey grabbed your shoulders and turned you to stare her straight in the eyes. “You cannot be put under Ace’s spell, okay? Promise me.”
“Whitey, you’re being ridiculous,” you laughed nervously. “He’s not that bad.”
“She’s already been taken,” Brew muttered.
“Poor soul,” Sally said in agreement. 
“You guys!” You yelled, shaking Whitey’s grip off you. “It’s not like that! It just-I couldn't-he wanted-”
“She’s hopeless,” Epoida said. 
“Would you all stop it!?” you hissed. 
“You are going to get your heart broken,” Whitey promised. “Beg Pops to switch divisions. He’ll do it for you. Get as far away from Portgas D. Ace as you can. While you still can. He’s cruel and he’ll only use you. Please trust me on this.”
“Thanks for the advice,” you grumbled, though you didn’t mean it. You had lost your appetite from the conversation, so you picked up your plate and stormed out of the dining hall. 
You needed to work. To distract yourself from everything you had heard at breakfast. Unfortunately, those stupid papers were in Ace’s room, and you hadn’t had the foresight to grab those this morning. And after what you had learned at the breakfast table, you weren’t particularly in the mood to go seek him out and talk to him at the moment. 
Luck seemed to be on your side at the moment, though. The commander's chambers were empty except for Haruta, who eagerly smiled at you when you entered. 
“Hey! How are you?” He asked. “Did you enjoy the party?”
“I did,” you said, politely smiling. “Just have to finish up this report for Pops. Ace isn’t here, is he?”
Haruta frowned at the mention of Ace. “He’s still in the mission meeting.”
“No worries, I think his room is unlocked.” You knew it was; you hadn’t locked it when you left earlier. But you couldn’t tell Haruta that.
You quickly popped into his room, scanning his desk to find the papers he had held hostage last night. They were there, and you scooped them up and left the room. You were about to leave the commander's chamber as well, when you realized something. 
“Hey Haruta, can you help me with something?” You already knew what his answer would be. 
“Whatever you need!” 
You grinned and sat down next to him on the couch. “I don’t know some of these names or their fighting abilities. Can you help me assess them?”
“Sure!” He was practically bouncing from excitement. “I used to be a strategist too, so I know all the info you need.”
“It’s more just a capability ranking, if you don’t mind. I’m trying to keep an open mind,” you explained.
You all went through the two pages of names you were unfamiliar with. You had to admit, Haruta was very helpful in his assessment. It was concise, but included all of the information you needed to know. By the end of your time with him, you knew everyone’s time on the ship, fighting experience, and what devil fruit ability they had. It was extremely helpful.
When you finished the last name, you found yourself sitting and talking with him for a little while. It was refreshing to talk to a familiar face who wasn’t teasing or scolding you. Haruta had been on the ship for a long time. Not as long as you, obviously, but he had joined the Whitebeards when he was a kid. It was the only family he had, just like how you had been. 
You both talked about what you learned and how you grew in your two years. Haruta had become a commander right before you left, and it was clear now that your father knew what he was doing when he appointed him. He really seemed to grow into a great person and commander. His appointment had sparked your journey to Wano, though you didn’t tell him that. 
“There she is!” Marco’s voice boomed at the entry to the common room. 
Both you and Haruta turned to look at him and the others coming into the room. 
“There’s a strategy meeting tomorrow morning! I’ve been looking all over the ship trying to find you.”
“That’s my cue,” you mumbled, gathering up your stuff.
“You don't have to go!” Haruta pleaded. A part of you didn’t want to go either, but you had work to do and distractions to avoid. 
“Ace will be here in a second,” Marco said. “Pops asked the three mission commanders to hang back.”
You ignored Marco, choosing to address Haruta before you left. “It was lovely catching up with you. Let’s do it again soon?”
You hadn’t meant to say it loud enough for all the other commanders to hear, but you could see them all exchanging glances in your peripheral vision. You chose not to comment on it, and instead walked out of the room, heading for the library. 
You stopped at your bunkhouse to change into a fresh pair of clothes and freshened up before you went to work for the day. As Haruta had explained each person’s abilities, you made plenty of notes about where they should be positioned, now all you had to do was write it up into a formal report. 
By the end of the day, your strategy report was 4 pages long. You had the fourth division flanking the left side with an additional twelve members from the second division, and the eleventh division flanking the right with fourteen members from the second division. The rest of the second division would hang back and assist as needed, with communication being made through transponder snails. 
It would work. You were certain. It was the safest maneuver for everyone involved, and it allowed extra security if there were any surprises or change in plans. It gave flexibility and a solid offense. Satisfied with your work, you took your papers back to your bunkhouse and placed them in your bedside drawer. 
You had managed to successfully keep Portgas D. Ace off of your mind for the entire day. Until you walked into the dining hall. Your eyes managed to instantly find him, and he smiled at you, giving you a little wave to come join him in the dinner line. 
You quickly averted your eyes, pretending you didn’t see him. Trying your best to ignore the heat rising to your face, you looked for Whitey, and found her further back in the secondary line. You walked over to join her and Epoida, laughing and chatting with other crew members. 
“Mind if I join you?” you asked, stepping in line with them. 
The two individuals you didn’t know stared at you, but Whitey and Epoida smiled at your arrival. 
“Still mad about this morning?” Epoida asked cautiously. Her eyes flitted over behind you to where Ace was standing, and she smirked. 
“This morning?” you asked, trying to remember. You were certain she didn’t know about your night with Ace, so she must’ve been talking about breakfast. 
They had made you angry in the moment, but you had time to cool off. Reflecting now, they were only trying to warn you about the kind of person Ace was. You were grateful for that. 
Epoida leaned in close to you to whisper in your ear. “He’s watching, you know.”
“You think he likes the show?” you sarcastically responded, trying to show it didn’t phase you. 
The act would’ve worked, but your devil fruit ability betrayed you. You could feel the tips of your ears burning, and your hair around them started to singe. Epoida bursted into a cackle at your embarrassment, and you shoved her away from you. You had to resist the urge to glance over at Ace, knowing that’s exactly what Epoida wanted you to do. 
Your back was to the room, so you didn’t see him approaching. But you did see everyone else’s eyes getting big, and then you heard Ace’s cool voice from directly behind you. 
“Hey ladies,” he said, his hand resting on your shoulder. You flinched at the closeness of his voice, and ignited your skin where he touched you, causing him to pull back in pain. 
“Sorry. Forgot,” he mumbled, rubbing his hand. “Do you mind if I steal this lovely lady away from you all for a moment? Got commander stuff to talk about.”
“Commander stuff,” Whitey mocked. “Right.”
Ace gave Whitey a nervous glance and flashed her a smile, but it wasn’t as confident as usual. 
“You can talk to me here,” you stated. “We’re amongst allies.”
“Right..” Ace said, looking around the circle. 
It appeared that even though you were among allies, Ace was not. All of the others in the circle were glaring at him as if he had kicked a puppy on his way over here. 
“So what’s up?” you asked, trying to ignore your friend’s gaze.”
“Oh, right.” Ace turned his attention to you, and you struggled not to get lost in his spotted freckles or his dark eyes. “There’s a strategy meeting tomorrow. Figured we could go through the names of the divisions and I could help you write up a report for it.”
“Already done,” you said coolly. “Haruta helped me out this morning and I got the report written.”
“Oh,” Ace said. He was staring at you with a confused look on his face, as if he were waiting for something more. You could hear the girls next to you stifling their laughs. 
“You can look at it if you want,” you offered, unsure of what else he needed. 
“No.” Ace blinked, as if he were trying to comprehend what to do next.  “No, I trust you.”
“Cool.” You turned your attention away from him. “So anyway Epoida, this morning I was just in a bad mood. Better now, thanks for checking.”
You could still feel him behind you, just out of your view. Everyone else in the group kept glancing at him.
“Ace?” you asked, turning back around to face him. 
“Yeah?”
“Did you need something else?”
“No,” Ace said, looking at the rest of the group. “I’ll see you tomorrow, I guess.”
“Sounds good. Bye.”
You waited for him to walk away before you turned to face your friends again. 
“Dude,” Epoida said. “He’s trying to get with you so hard.”
“He is not.” You rolled your eyes. 
“He definitely is,” one of the girls said. “When he puts his hands on people’s shoulders like that…”
“The Mark of Portgas D. Ace!” the other girl said, giggling. “You have to sleep with him now. It’s only a matter of time.”
“And then he’ll leave you,” Whitey said bitterly. “Onto the next shiny thing.”
“You guys are being dramatic,” you said, but you felt a knot of jealousy forming in your stomach. 
“Happened to me,” one of the girls said. “And Whitey.”
“It did not!” Whitey said. “We did not-”
“Oh right,” the girl waved Whitey off. “You never made it home with him.”
“Shut up!” Whitey hissed, her face flooding with pink. “That was a few months ago! It doesn’t even matter!”
“Doesn’t it?” the girl taunted. You got a feeling that their argument was deeper and more malicious than either girl was letting onto. 
“Can we stop talking about him?” you let out an exasperated sigh. “I feel like he’s all I ever hear about.”
“That’s because it’s begun.” Epoida wiggled her fingers at you like she was putting you under a spell. “He’s all you’ll ever hear about from now on.”
“He’s always been the talk of the ship,” one of the girls said. “Something you’ll just have to live with.”
The girls started talking amongst themselves again, about other crewmates and possibilities of an island soon, but Whitey was unnaturally quiet. 
“Whitey,” you mumbled to her. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Her eyes were glassy when she looked at you. “He’s no good, Y/N. No good.”
She ran off, leaving you alone with the three chatty girls. You didn’t care for their conversation much, but Whitey’s reaction bothered you. Not many people could make her emotional, especially over something that happened in the past. 
Portgas D. Ace made your heart flutter. But apparently he did that to a lot of people, and he had hurt one of your best friends in the process. You wouldn’t let yourself fall into the same fate. You refused to do so. Not just for your own preservation, but for Whitey too. 
You grabbed your dinner to go and headed for the library for a quiet space. You needed to go over your plans one more time to check for any bias or oversights. You sat silently, reading over your proposal as you shoveled food into your mouth. The strategy appeared to be airtight with the information you had been given, but you were afraid of missing something obvious.
“Thought you said you were done with that,” a voice teased, and you cursed Ace for finding you so quickly. 
“Just going over it one last time,” you replied simply, not looking up from your papers 
“Nervous for tomorrow?” he asked, sitting down in the seat next to you.
“No,” you lied, which prompted a chuckle from Ace. You were normally a good liar, but Ace seemed to always be able to know whether you were being truthful or not. 
He grabbed the papers from you and glanced over them. It wasn’t nearly long enough for him to read even a paragraph before he nodded and put the papers down. “Looks good.”
You scowled at him, reminded of Whitey and tears she had. “This may be a joke to you, but people’s lives are on the line.”
“It’s not a joke to me,” he said, looking at you with a confused gaze. “I just trust your ability to plan.”
“You don’t know me well enough to trust me,” you shot back. “Read it and give feedback.”
Ace looked at you for a moment, and you held his gaze with an intense stare. He resigned with a sigh and began reading your work. 
You were surprised that he did so without little argument, and your heart skipped a little at his willingness to help you. But Whitey quickly came back to your mind, and you steeled your emotions. Portgas D. Ace may be a good commander, but he wasn’t a good person. 
He quietly read for a few minutes while you doodled in the margins of some old notes, trying to distract yourself from him. 
“I only have one suggestion,” Ace said as he finished up the report. 
“Which is?”
“You need to give the fourth division two more members. Or take away two members from the eleventh division.”
You scowled. “But the eleventh division is less skilled. Which is why I gave them more resources.”
“I know that, but it will still offend Kingdew and his subordinates. You give them the same number of people at first to prove they’re equals. Then we’ll deploy more people at the start of the battle when they ask for assistance.”
“But the goal is to make them as even as possible from the start.”
“But we need them to be cooperative. Giving one person less people will cause hostility on each side for different reasons,” Ace explained. “Put Clavis and Mateo under Kingdew, move Iliana to Thatch. Take Philric, Ulster, and Maxie off the initial assault. It’ll even out their abilities and firepower of each side without being too obvious that Kingdew has stronger assistance on his team.”
You hummed, thinking about his suggestion. “I really wanted Clavis to be available for the first rescue team.”
“It’ll be fine,” Ace reassured. “It will spare Kingdew and Thatch any problems with superiority. One man won’t make that much of a difference.”
“You would.” It slipped out before you had a chance to think. 
“Well, yeah,” he agreed. He looked up at you, flashing his signature smile. “I am the ace, after all.”
You couldn’t help it. Your heart fluttered. You could feel yourself falling for this stupid boy, and you hated yourself for it. You had to stop this before it got too out of hand.
“Clavis and Mateo to Kingdew, Iliana to Thatch, Philric, Ulster, and Maxie to the first rescue team. I’ll make the adjustments.”
 You reached for the papers, but he held them away from you. 
“Can we talk about last night?” His voice was low when he spoke so nobody would hear him. Even though there was nobody in the library, you glanced around nervously. 
“I know what I need to know about you, Ace. There’s nothing more to talk about.”
He looked hurt by the harshness of your words, and you did your best to act like you didn’t care. 
He sighed, holding the papers out. “I just wanted to make sure you knew-”
“Nothing happened,” you finished, snatching the papers back. “I know. Thanks.”
You gathered your stuff quickly and got up to leave. 
“And nothing will be happening,” you clarified. You looked down at him, still in his seat. “I’m sorry if I gave you mixed signals, so let me be clear now. I may be your strategist, but that’s all I am.”
God, he looked so sad. It almost made you want to take it all back; to kiss his lips right then and there in that dark and dusty little library. But you couldn’t. You wouldn’t. You refused to be used by your commander, even if you broke your own heart in the process.
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sturniozo · 2 months
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In The Shadows III
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Masterlist
The plane ride was filled with silence. I had nothing to say to Matt and he had nothing to say to me. It was that simple so we stayed quiet.
I walk to the car waiting for us, Matt walking right behind me. I text my dad telling him we landed and are now headed towards the house.
My dad sends a thumbs up in reply. It makes me laugh, it’s so like a dad to send a thumbs up instead of a real message. I shake my head and put my phone in my pocket.
“What’s so funny?” Matt asks me as we get into the backseat of the car together.
“None of your business.” I say to him with a glare.
Matt rolls his eyes. “We’re going to have to get along, you know.”
I shake my head. “Plenty of married couples don’t get along. It’s a whole thing.”
“We’re supposed to be newlyweds. We’re still in the honeymoon phase, madly in love and fucking like rabbits.” Matt smirks at me.
“Yeah, like I’d ever let you touch me.”
“I remember a time when you would. When you would beg for me to touch you.” Matt says as his hand reaches for my thigh.
I recoil away. “That was before I found out you were a total douche-bag.”
Matt laughs and pulls his hand away. “What did I ever do that made you hate me so much?”
“You know exactly what you did.”
“I really don’t, love.” He reply’s.
I just sigh and look out the window. Going up the hill to the mini-mansion my father had acquired for our cover.
~
“But, where are you going then?” I ask as I pack up my training gear.
“Hampton’s company.” Matt says calmly.
“Hampton?” I ask. I freeze in place. The name sounds so familiar. Like a name from a story I was told when I was just a little girl.
“Yeah, they had an opening.” Matt says, snapping me out of my trance.
“What’s wrong with this company?”
“Nothing, it’s just a little small with its contacts. I want to do something more than petty hits.” Matt swings his bag over his shoulder.
“Oh, I guess that makes sense.” I say as I zip up my bag.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be back. I’ll still be on call for any hits your father would like me to do. You haven’t seen the last of me.”
~
The car pulls up to the villas drive way. There’s a movers truck right outside with people already moving in furniture into the house.
I unbuckle my seatbelt but before I can open the door Matt already has it open for me. “Ready, Mrs. Sturniolo?” He asks as he holds out his hand for me.
I take a breath and put on a fake loving face as I take his hand. “I’m ready, baby.” I say as I step out of the car.
I hold his hand in mine as we walk to the house. We open the front door to see many people walking around putting furniture where they think it belongs.
I hate being rude for my cover, but it has to be done. “Don’t put that there, the couch belongs by the window, for the best sunlight reading.” I let go of Matt’s hand to order the movers around, telling them where to put the furniture.
Matt stands by the door with his arms crossed, watching me. He smirks and leans against the wall.
“Are you going to help?” I ask him.
“I’m just admiring you, dear.” He says as he walks over to me. He wraps an arm around my waist and kisses the top of my head. “I think the end table should go next to the couch, and put the short lamp on the table.” Matt says.
I nod. “The end table, no the other one. Put that there at the side of the couch.” I point. “Now put that lamp on the table.”
Matt grips my hip and turns me around to face him, his lips inches from mine.
“What are you doing?” I whisper to him so the movers can’t hear.
“You’re my wife aren’t you?” He says as he presses his lips to mine.
We pull apart. “Not here!” I say. “Not now, not in front of the movers!”
“I didn’t like the way they were looking at you, I wanted them to know you’re mine.” He says back. I roll my eyes and pull away from him fully.
The day goes on. After what felt like hours all the furniture was finally in the house and in the places I had asked them to be.
I collapse on the couch, closing my eyes as I sink into the cushions. Matt sits next to me and wraps an arm around me.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“Holding my wife.” He says, pulling me back to him.
“You don’t have to keep this up when there is no one here.” I try to pull away again.
“The best assassins keep up their cover even in private.” He tells me again. I shake my head and sit up.
“The best assassins don’t have to be paired up with you.” I tell him.
“Yeah, but you do.”
There’s a pause before I sigh. “You’re so insufferable.” I mumble.
“Really, what did I do?” Matt asks. “What did I do to make you hate me so much?”
I stand up from the couch. “I’m exhausted, Matt.” I say. “How many bedrooms does this house have?”
Matt leans back on the couch, spreading his body out. “A few. Why, you don’t want to share a bed with your husband?”
“God no.” I turn around and begin to walk to the stairs.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Matt asks.
“To get first pick of the bedrooms, what else.” I say before darting upstairs.
Matt quickly jumps from the couch and runs behind me. I check out the last room in the hallway, it’s the best guess on where the master bedroom would be. And I’m right. A huge bedroom, complete with a nice large closet and a fireplace, and its own bathroom. I smile and lock the door behind me. I take off my shoes and flop on the bed.
Matt bangs on my door. “Y/n! Y/n, open the door!” He yells.
“I can’t hear you, I’m asleep!” I yell back as I start to get under the covers and shut the lamp off.
“I can’t just sleep in another bed. You’re supposed to be my wife.”
“Tough.” I shout back. “I’m not sleeping with you, for any reason, ever.”
Matt’s silent for a while before he finally gives in. “I’ll sleep in the guest room, but you better set an alarm for tomorrow.”
“What’s tomorrow?” I ask.
“The party.”
“What party?”
“What do you mean ‘what party?’” Matt laughs. “We’re the new ‘rich’ couple in this part of a very wealthy town. We’re throwing a housewarming party and getting to know the neighbors.”
“You didn’t go over this with me.” I get up from the bed.
“It’s a good strategy to get to know the locals.” Matt says as I reach the door. I put my hand on the knob but quickly take it off.
“What time should I set my alarm for?” I ask.
“Around six, maybe seven.” Matt pauses and I head back for the bed. “Goodnight, y/n.” He says.
I get back into bed. “Goodnight Matt.”
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babygorewhore · 9 months
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Crossed Lines. Kai Anderson Smut.
Holy shit y’all. Here it is. My longest fic so far. Over 3,000 words lol. So this is something I came up with in my deranged head after watching YOU on Netflix. I hope you enjoy, my little princesses. WARNINGS! Slapping. Spanking. Attempted assault. (not by Kai) Toxic relationship. Brutal violence. Fingering. Oral! Male recieving! PnV! Unprotected sex. Injury.
You had it.
Kai was downstairs screaming nonsense at his members. You started packing your bag. You both had gotten into a terrible fight because you refused to participate in killing someone.
“It’s time you prove to me your loyalty.” Kai had said to you.
“Prove my loyalty? For gods sake Kai. I’m not going to kill someone!” You responded back sharply.
“Perhaps I didn’t make myself clear. I’m not giving you a choice.” He said coldly. You balled up your fists.
“I said. No.”
He slapped you in response. After the shock, You slapped him back. You both stood there in silence before you marched away. Never would you allow someone to put their hands on you. You couldn’t go lower than you already had by being with him. He had taken your virginity two weeks ago, left you in a sweaty, aching pool in bed. He hadn’t even pleasured you. Just took it and left you laying there. You teared up at the memory as you continued packing and finished shoving in your last shirt.
You were wearing a black sweatshirt and jeans, your sneakers hit the floor as you slammed the bedroom door behind you and you walked down the hallway. Passing his dead parents room, you heard rushing behind you and you turned, ready to scream at Kai for chasing you down but instead you found winter starting at you in horror.
“What are you doing?” She questioned you and you pointed to your backpack.
“What does it look like?” You snapped at her and she looked around nervously.
“You can’t leave. Kai won’t let you. If you try, he’ll hunt you down and bring you back here. I don’t want him to hurt you.”
You chuckled humorously. “He already has.” You started to move away but she grabbed your arm.
“I’m begging you. Don’t leave. I promise I can try to help you here. But just stay. He won’t rest until he finds you.” You jerked out of her hold and left the house without another word.
You stayed at a friends house, your childhood best friend who you hadn’t seen in several weeks after getting together with Kai. Who called your phone over 100 times when you left that night. You had to get a new phone with some of your stolen cash you took from the house. You imagined the horrible text messages he no doubt sent you, threatening you and telling you how pathetic it was that you left.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go out with us tonight?” Your friend asked with sad eyes. “I don’t want to leave you here by yourself.” She told you.
“No, it’s okay, y/f/n. I’ll be fine. He won’t find me here.”
She left blowing you a kiss and you quickly put on your only pair of sneakers and you left the house in the opposite direction. There was a book store open late and you were dying to get your hands on a book, to distract you from what you’d done.
As you walked down the street, that’s when you paused in fear.
Someone, a man, stood yards away from you, wearing a clown mask. You knew it wasn’t Kai, his mask was different but you knew in your gut it was part of his cult. You gasped and ran back to the apartment, slamming and locking the door behind you.
But Winter was standing there in the living room. Her expression down as she came to you. Holding a knife. You backed away from her, holding your hands up. You were bigger than her, you knew you could force her away from you but she had a weapon. If Kai demanded her, she would do whatever he asked.
“If you just come back calmly, we won’t have to hurt you.” She said, desperate for you to listen. “Please, Y/n, come back peacefully. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Really? Is that why you stand by Kai and his insanity? You’re all fucking crazy!” You yelled at her.
“Just calm down. Please. He’s been even worse without you. He sent us to come get you and bring you back. He’s not going to hurt you anymore.” She pleaded, coming closer.
“He never should have hurt me in the first place.” You replied to her.
The door burst open and the other clown came in. He was Holding a pair of handcuffs. He lunged at you. You ran to the other side of the kitchen, grabbing the kitchen scissors. Winter neared you as well. You swung them wildly at both of them. “Get the fuck away from me.” You said to both of them, hating yourself for almost crying. “I’ll call the cops and tell them everything.”
“Shut your mouth.” The male said, growling at you as he pulled out another knife.
“Fuck you. And fuck Kai.” You screamed. “How did he know where I was?”
“He always knew where you were, he just waited for the right time.” Winter said.
You took off in a run, the bedroom had a large window you could escape from. You darted inside the room, yanking open the window but before you could climb out, a large hand clapped over your mouth and yanked you back. You moved rapidly, kicking and then you bit down on the hand.
“Fucking bitch.” The male said and threw you on the bed.
He tore off his mask. He was a new member you hadn’t met before. “Enough of this shit. Kai doesn’t get to have all the fun.” He lustfully looked at your body and you shrank back in fear.
He sliced off your pants with the knife, cutting your skin as he ripped them off. “Help!” You screamed but he hit you hard across the face.
“Stop it! Kai will kill you!” Winter screamed at him as she tried to stab him with the knife but he was stronger than both of you.
He yanked your legs apart and started to grind down his erection on you. You clawed at his face, scratching and you hit him as hard as you could. He winced and gave you the opportunity to try and run. But as you made to run, he grabbed your ankle and dragged you back. He flipped you on your back, aiming the knife above your face. You covered your face with your arms.
“No!” A new voice came and you all stopped fighting each other. You looked up, still pinned to the floor.
Kai stood at the door. Wearing all black, just like you and his eyes were burning with rage as he saw the mystery man holding onto you. Your pants sliced off and blood dripping down your legs.
You blacked out from fear, everything going dark.
You came too, unsure of how much time had passed and you knew where you were. You were in Kai’s basement on the couch. Your bare legs were scratched and a hand print circled your ankle. You were alone.
You burst into tears. You never wanted to see inside this basement again.
“No need for tears, y/n.” Kai’s voice interrupted you and you whipped around to see him standing in a dark corner. He came out, wearing a button down shirt and black sweatpants. He was holding a first aid kit.
“What the fuck are you doing?” You said to him, hating how your voice was breaking from crying. He came over to you, ignoring how you tried to disappear as he sat next to you.
He took you leg but you yanked it back. “Don’t touch me.” You shrieked at him and he paused.
“You’re hurt. These need to be addressed.” He said matter of fact.
“Then I’ll do it myself.” You said sharply at him. Holding out your hand for the kit. Blood dripped from the lacerations on your thighs and Kai shook his head, disappointed.
“No. Let me do it. And then we’ll talk.” He pulled your leg back, more forceful and both your legs were across his lap. You stayed silence as he gently padded your wounds with saline, it only stung a little.
His fingers expertly wrapped you in bandages, and he secured them with tape. He had never been this gentle with you before. You stilled as he leaned down and pressed kisses along the white bandages, you weren’t able to move as he moved over to you. His hands gliding over your arms and shoulders. “I thought he was going to kill you.” He whispered, his lips finding your cheeks. And nose. He continued kissing your face, as they grew sloppier.
You hated yourself for not moving away from him quicker, hating yourself for loving the new affection he was giving you. Kai’s lips moved towards yours and you finally moved away, getting up, standing and limping a few feet away.
“I can’t stay here, Kai.” You stood your ground, forcing yourself to be strong.
Kai’s mouth pressed into a line and you could see his patience was wearing thin. “you already left me, Y/n. You tried to hide from me and look what happened. You got hurt. What would have happened if I hadn’t stepped in?” He reminded you.
“You’ve hurt me, Kai! You hit me! You give me no attention. You never hug me. Kiss me. Or anything. You just used me one time for sex and you just left me laying there like I was just something to fuck! You hurt me more than he did!” You screamed at him. “Of course I left. I couldn’t take it anymore.” It felt so good to let it all out.
“Is that what this is about?” His tone was short. “Just because I don’t hug you enough?”
“You didn’t listen to a word I fucking said.” You almost ripped your hair out at the root. “Let me go. I don’t want to be apart of this insanity.”
Kai stood up quickly and met you, you tried to cower back but his grip firmly locked on your jaw. “You can’t leave, little lamb. You mean too much to me.” He whispered.
“Bullshit.” You tried to move away but his hold was too tight, nearly bruising.
“Losing you only made me realize how much I want you. You deserve to be treated like a queen, lamb. You know that? Let me prove it to you.”
“How?” You said, exhausted from fighting.
Kai whistled. Several seconds later and all his members came flooding down, dragging the man who attacked you by his elbows. You jerked away from the man, and Kai lightly held you by the arm.
“Gentlemen, bring this traitor before me.” He commanded and they at once brought the tied man to his knees before Kai. His mouth was gagged and his arms and legs were tied with thick rope.
He shook violently as he tried to get out. Kai chuckled and you gasped as he pulled out a long blade from Speedwagon.
Kai knelt down, meeting the man eye to eye. “You really fucked up, didn’t you? Trying to touch what’s mine? Hurting her? I had to bandage her delicate flesh. You spilled her blood. Now, I get to spill yours.” Your heart hammered as the man screamed behind his gag.
Kai lunged forward, stabbing him multiple times, you wanted to cover your eyes but you couldn’t as Kai grabbed him by the head and slit the blade across his throat. Blood gushed from his neck as he fell over, dead within seconds.
Kai turned towards you with a sick smirk on his face. He dropped the blade. “Leave us. Reflect on what happens if anyone of you dare come close to touching what belongs to me.”
Everyone left, taking the body with them. You trembled. Kai had just murdered for you. Was this all part of his manipulation? His previous gentle touch. Was that all part of his act he was so good at?
“Was that supposed to make me stay? Just because you murdered him?” Kai clicked his tongue and his thumb wiped away a free falling tear on your cheek.
“Stop talking about leaving. You belong to me, y/n. We will always be together.” You shook your head and Kai’s jaw tightened.
“Stop doing that. Stop fucking denying me.” He was getting louder. You flinched back before you could help it.
“Stop it, Kai. You can’t just get what you want this way.” you half expected him to scream at you more but instead, Kai dropped to his knees beneath you.
His hands rubbed up and down your bare thighs, grazing the band of your underwear. Your stomach dropped as his head rested on your stomach.
“No. I’m not going to lose you.” He said quietly, you felt his mouth on your bare skin as he lifted your shirt. “You’re right…I should have treated you better.” His hot mouth peppered kisses along your hips and you couldn’t pull away as he gripped the back of your thighs.
“What are you doing?” You half moaned at the end as he started sucking your skin.
“Don’t you see? There’s not a line, in the world, that I wouldn’t cross for you.” Kai pleaded, looking up at you with dark eyes.
You wanted to give in, despite how wrong it was. Your hands settled on his shoulders and kai took the opportunity to lift you, forcing your legs around his waist as he carried you to the couch. He set you down, your legs straddling his waist as he sat down. You atop of him.
Kai leaned forward as you settled on his lap. His lips finding your pulse point as he kissed your neck, his tongue finding your sensitive spots as you shuddered. His hands pulled your sweatshirt up, exposing your torso and bra. His mouth found the valley of your breasts as he started tearing your bra off, yanking the sweatshirt over your head.
Kai moved with urgency as he wrapped his lips around your perked nipple, sucking gently and your head fell back. This felt so good. This was what you wanted secretly. His lips on you. His teeth pulled at the bud, and you moaned as he rolled his clothed dick into you.
���See, how much I want you, princess?” He whispered. His mouth found yours in a feverish kiss. He opened his mouth, forcing you to the same and he shoved his tongue in your mouth. He had never kissed you like this, never with such brutal passion. His left hand wrapped around the back of your head as he deepens the kiss by sucking your lower lip.
Your hands went into his hair as he continued kissing you, sloppily as your center grew wetter and wetter as he thrusted his hips up. “Kai.” You whimpered.
Kai shoved you face forward on the couch, you gasped as he slapped your ass. You heard his belt undo and you heard him fumble with his pants as he yanked them down. His hands found your neck as he pressed the tip inside you as you were on all fours.
Your body jolted with wetness as he started slamming into you, deep enough that your walls clenched around him. You felt full as pleasure grew in your belly. His other hand found your hair as he shoved his fingers inside your mouth. “Get them nice and wet for me.” He said, you obeyed. Licking his fingers and he pulled them out and started playing with your clit.
Your breath constricted. He hadn’t touched you like this before. His fingers circled your clit rapidly, as he slammed his hips against your ass. Both your bodies moved against each other. “Kai, I’m close.” You groaned.
“Cum for me. Show me.” He slapped your ass again and you nearly screamed as your orgasm overwhelmed you. Your body halted as you felt him empty inside you, you didn’t worry as you were still on birth control.
Seconds passed and he turned you around, his swollen cock in your face. “Open that pretty little mouth.” You leaned forward and licked the tip to the baseline of his dick. “I want you to taste how good we are together.” His head lolled to the side as you started sucking gently.
Your teeth very lightly grazed the tip and he moaned deep within his chest as you bobbed your head up and down, the tip brushing your gag reflex.
“That’s it, choke on daddy’s cock, little lamb.” He encouraged and pulled your hair back, too hard but you didn’t mind the pressure.
He moved into your mouth and you gagged, your jaw tightening as he filled your mouth. “Fuck. Fucking shit.” He muttered as you licked him again.
He pulled back. “Your turn.” You didn’t have time to think as he pushed you back, pushing your legs open. He knelt on the floor. Grabbing the back of your ass as he pulled your pussy to his face. He wrapped his lips around your clit, you let out little gasps as he laid his tongue flat against you, your folds convulsing as he lapped at your pussy, diving inside you and then dragging his tongue back to your clit.
You rode his face as he licked you, “You taste so fucking good,” he praised you. “You’re such a pathetic little slut, you know that? So wet for me.”
Your pleasure grew as it was about to burst.
Kai didn’t let you come, stopping right before you exploded. You let out a whine as he crawled over you, shoving his cock inside you, filling you up to the brim. “Come on, you can moan better than that.” He said, thrusting deep inside you.
Your hands flew to his shoulders, your nails digging into his skin but he couldn’t care less. Your head pressed against his shoulder as he moved, his cock touching the deepest parts of you.
Your release came in a wildfire, you let out a loud scream, panting as he came to his finish. Spilling into you, both of your orgasm merging together as he let out a loud moan. He shook as he emptied inside you. You both tried to catch your breath as he stayed inside you for several seconds. He finally pulled out.
He cleaned himself up with a rag, he dragged the cloth over you as you mewled at the feeling.
He slid his boxers on and you put your underwear back on. You expected him to leave but he laid next to you on the couch, pulling your body near his as he pressed your head against his chest. You were quiet as his fingers lightly traced your bare skin of your back.
Soon, your eyes drifted shut, and you felt a uncharacteristic light kiss on your forehead. You looked at him through your lashes and he met your gaze. He stayed silent as you reached up, pressing a kiss to his lips and he finally let you, letting his guard down.
Tagging. @spill-the-t
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marvelouslizzie · 1 year
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No One Else Matters
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Summary: Things between you and Bucky Barnes have been going great until an Avengers dinner party reminds you of that one night you spent with Steve Rogers. Now you are afraid that the meaningless past hook-up might jeopardize your future with Bucky.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Word Count: 4.1K
Warnings: 18+ NSFW MINORS DNI, secret relationship, alcohol consumption but no one is drunk, semi-public sex, unprotected p in v (on birth control and clean), begging, pet names, dirty talk, mentions of past hook up with Steve Rogers, eavesdropping, no mention of y/n
A/N: Another random idea that turned into a one-shot thanks to my amazing friends. Thank you so much @notafunkiller for beta-reading and editing. Also, some lines belong to her because she helped shape the story and I appreciate it a lot!
This story isn't any form of Steve Rogers hate. I just wanted to write a story like this and it wouldn't work with anyone else besides Steve. If you don't want to read a story where Steve is a past hook-up that didn't work out well, please stay away from the story.
All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission. 
Every like, comment, and reblog is highly appreciated. Don’t hesitate to message me. I would love to answer questions or start a conversation as long as it doesn't include any kind of hate.
Read more tag starts after the first paragraph of the story.
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Coming to this Avengers dinner might have been a big mistake. Essentially you were looking forward to this night because it had been a while since you saw your co-workers. Some are more like friends than co-workers, but working for SHIELD keeps everyone busy. Small events like this help people to get together, catch up and maybe plan other stuff for the future, but tonight feels somewhat different.
You were enjoying yourself until you saw Bucky and Steve casually chatting on the other side of the room. That doesn’t happen very often and it reminds you of things you'd rather not think about. Things that happened years ago. Like that one time, you hooked up with Steve. It was buried so deep into your memory, you simply forgot about it and it’s not like you see Steve that often. Occasionally, his team asks for your help and you try to do your best. And you have been nothing but friendly to each other since that night. You remember him taking it pretty well when you said you’d rather stay friends with him. He probably wasn’t looking for a relationship anyways.
It was before everyone found out HYDRA was nesting inside SHIELD for years. He was simply the golden boy. The first Avenger who unexpectedly returned. A savior. Everyone was in awe of him and tried to be their best version. It felt like a fairytale came true.
The problem is whenever people make an idol of someone expectations go over the roof. And when you meet that person, see what they are like up close, you just notice he’s just like anyone else. Even though they didn’t do anything wrong or bad, it still feels somehow disappointing.
He was different than what you expected him to be. You noticed that pretty quickly and decided to keep things professional. It worked out amazingly until… now. You look around, trying to calm yourself down, keeping that memory to yourself because this is definitely not the time to bring it up.
**
When the dinner finally starts, it turns out to be a good distraction. You chat with whoever is around you about recent missions, the latest gossip, and things SHIELD is planning to do in the near future. But your eyes keep wandering towards Bucky, who is seated across the table. It’s a huge relief to see Steve and him aren’t seated together or even close to each other. Everyone knows they used to be good friends, but that’s not the case anymore. Since Bucky is back to himself and started to work for SHIELD, things went downhill for their friendship. They slowly drifted apart.
You try hard not to glance back at him again, but he’s looking at you. That makes things even harder. You notice how his lips form a small smile whenever your eyes meet and how he tries to play it off as something he did because of his conversation. But you know his smile is caused by you and even though you don’t want to accept that, it melts your heart a little more.
After the dessert is served, people start to focus on their drinks more. Different groups are forming, and when you want to take check on Bucky, he quickly tilts his head to the right, signaling you to leave the room and meet him. You look around to see if anyone noticed, but no one’s focus is on you two. 
You do nothing but watch him discreetly walk away first, without waiting for an answer. He knows you will follow. And that’s exactly what you do: you place your empty glass on the counter and leave the room as subtly as he did. What you don’t notice is that someone actually has been watching you very closely.
You have no idea where Bucky went exactly, so you start to wander around, trying to guess where he’d choose to hide until he grabs you with his arm, pulling you inside an empty room before quickly locking the door.
“Bucky!” A half-yelp leaves your lips, but it’s muffled by his hand.
“It’s me,” he whispers against your ear before he starts to kiss your neck sloppily. “Relax.”
He doesn’t waste any time. His hands are everywhere on your body: grabbing your breasts over the clothes, squeezing your ass.
“I missed you.” His breathy whisper gives you goosebumps. 
“Oh, I missed you, too.” You grab his face with both of your hands and finally kiss him properly. He happily sighs and lets you take control. His lips are soft, tasting like bourbon, which surprises you because he is usually a beer kind of guy. Maybe he decided to try something different tonight since he isn’t the one paying. 
That reminds you of the party and everyone inside. Including Steve Rogers. Bucky’s ex-best friend. And that make the anxious feeling in your gut returns. You need to tell him about what happened between you and Steve. Even if you’re afraid that it would change everything between you two. But you aren’t ready to lose him. Not when you’ve just started to realize how strong your feelings are for him.
He doesn’t fail to notice the shift in your mood. You aren’t as present in the kiss as if you have something on your mind. He stops kissing you unexpectedly, making you give him a confused look.
“Are you okay?” He sounds genuinely concerned.
You take a deep breath. Maybe it’s just better to tell him now and get it over with. What’s the point of delaying the inevitable?
“I gotta tell you something.”
You see how his concern grows even more. His expression is serious and full of worry.
“Do you want to break this off? Is that what it is?” 
God, the way he asked that question just hurts something inside you. He sounded so broken, so afraid.
“No, no! Of course not.” You quickly clear the air, leaving no space for any kind of misunderstanding. “But you might wanna break things off with me after I tell you… this.” 
You can see how your words confuse him. He squints, trying to understand what you are talking about and coming up with a reasonable explanation. You know whatever he’ll think about won’t be even close to the reality, but you didn’t expect his response either.
“Are you pregnant? Is that why you are nervous?” His hand caresses your cheek as he asks you. “You know I wouldn’t leave you for something like that, right? We can do whatever you want. It’s totally up to you.” 
No, you aren’t pregnant. That’s not even a possibility. You’ve been on birth control even before you two started to have sex. Still, hearing his soft-spoken words makes you melt inside. 
“No, baby, I’m not pregnant.” 
You both take a breath after eliminating another possibility. He looks at you fora few seconds, trying to decide if he should say it or not.
“Is it about you dating Steve?”
Words can’t describe how surprised you are. Questions flood your mind instantly. How much does he know? When did he find out? Who told him? And dating? No, you definitely did not date Steve Rogers. God, you have so many questions to ask. You don’t know where to start. 
“You know about that.” It comes out more like a question than a statement. The shock is so clear in your voice. 
“Of course, I know.” 
“How? When?” The questions come out one after another and make him smile a little. You stop yourself from asking even more and decide to make one thing clear. “And I did not date him. It was a one-time thing.”
“Oh.” He sounds surprised. Maybe he thought it was more serious, but if so why didn’t he bring it up before?
“When did you find out?” You have to know. 
“Not so long ago.”
“Who told you?” 
“Sam. He thought there was some kind of tension between you two, but I couldn’t see it. So he explained.” He doesn’t sound like it bothers him much, which is relieving.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I could ask you the same.”
He’s right. He can ask the same question. Your answer is simple, though.
“I actually forgot it happened.” Is he really smiling? “It wasn’t that memorable to me.” 
“That bad, huh?” 
You can’t help but laugh. God, you love him so much. You were worried sick about how he would react and here he is joking about it.
“Do you want an actual answer?” You finally ask. 
“Yeah, sure.” He doesn’t seem to mind.
“It was okay.” 
Now it’s his turn to laugh. “So it was bad.” 
“Like I said, not memorable.” You choose to repeat. You don’t wanna disrespect him that much, but you don’t even remember much about it. That was one of the reasons you wanted to stay friends anyway.
“Doll, it’s fine.” He finally decides to answer you seriously.
“So you don’t mind?” 
“It was way before us. It’s not my place to judge you for it.” 
That’s a huge relief. You were so worried he would just choose some kind of bro code over you but no. He chose you. You breathe out with a smile on your face.
“And if someone is gonna get judged for their past, it’s not gonna be you.”
You instantly frown because you understood immediately what he meant by it.
“That’s not the same thing. I chose to hook up with him. You didn’t choose to get brainwashed.”
“Yeah, of course, but I am the one who killed those people.”
“Bucky, no.” You touch his chest, trying to comfort him without realizing it. “Don’t go there. Please. That’s not a fair comparison.” You want him to be free of this guilt. He’s trying to redeem himself so hard, it has to end somewhere.
“Fine.” He finally accepts it. “I don’t care about your past. I only care about your present and future. Is that better?” 
“Yes, it is better.” You wrap your arms around his neck and close the distance. “You are always so forgiving, yet you are so harsh to yourself.”
“As long as you are mine, I don’t care about anything.” 
That does it. An unexpected jolt of arousal overwhelms you. Suddenly, you don’t feel shy anymore. 
“Can you…” You try to collect your words. “Can you fuck me like you did the last time?” Asking that out loud feels a little weird. Maybe you should’ve drunk a bit more.
You watch as his eyes widen in response. Oh, he wants that as much as you do. No need to feel shy.
“Which position exactly?” He sounds so cheeky, but you can see his question is genuine. He needs additional info because it wasn’t a one-and-done.
“Against the wall.” You bit your lip, remembering how good it felt. So rough, yet so full of pleasure. You can’t help but shiver when you remember that orgasm.
“Fuck.” He surpasses a moan. “We have to be quiet, doll. Can you do that for me?” His voice is really low.
You eagerly nod in response. You aren’t sure if you can actually do it, but you will try your best if he’s going to do what you asked for. 
“God, I love you so much.” You can’t hold yourself back anymore. Hearing those words from him sparks something unstoppable inside you. Grabbing him by the face, you crash your lips against him. 
“I love you, Bucky.” You keep kissing him. “So much.” Your hands move south, unbuckling him as quickly as possible. 
Your movements are rushed but not sloppy. Like you did this a million times before. It feels familiar, but it doesn’t change how much you need him. Urgently. And he doesn’t seem to mind that your act as if you are in a hurry. When you finally unbutton his pants, they pool around his ankles, and that’s when he decides to lift you up. His hands stay under your ass while he presses you against the wall, your dress already curled up around your waist. 
“Are you ready for me, doll?” He asks with that voice he uses when he’s really aroused. It turns you on even more and you didn’t know that was possible.
“Yes.” You want him inside you so much. You need his lips on you. “Please, Bucky, I need you.”
“You do?” Oh, youknow this tone too well. He loves to tease you and make you talk more about what you want, and it’s always so rewarding. So you don’t hold back.
“Please, fuck me, I need your cock so badly.” Even though it’s dimly lit inside the room, you see the shift in his eyes. Your words are feeding some kind of primal need inside him. “I need you, baby, please. I’m so wet.”
“Let’s see if that’s true.” He holds you with one hand and aligns himself to your entrance with the other. You shouldn’t be surprised by how strong he is, but every time he manages to astonish you. He doesn’t even struggle to carry or hold you. When he finally thrusts inside you, a loud moan escapes your lips. The stretch is so fucking delicious. “Shh.” 
“Sorry, sorry.” You quickly try to apologize. “It just feels ssso good.” A low moan follows your words.
“You know I love to hear you, doll.” He starts moving. “I love how you always beg for more.” His free hand goes to your head, pushing a strand of hair back so he can see your face better. “But this time we need to keep it quiet. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”
“I’ll be good, I promise.”
That makes him smile. You wrap your hands around his neck again, wanting to be close to him. That’s when you both hear a sound really close to you. So close that you feel like it came right at the door. You both still for a second, listening to find out if someone is outside, but there’s no more sound. So that noise is long forgotten in a minute.
You don’t even care if someone is outside. You don’t care if someone hears you fucking. Bucky Barnes loves you. No one else matters. Your lips clash against his. It’s such a sloppy kiss, but you love every second of it. His hand moves to your neck, holding you in place as he starts to pound on you.
“Is this how you wanted it?” He keeps asking, wanting you to speak, but you can't. “Is it that good you went speechless?”
You nod eagerly.
“Come on, darling. Use your words.” He’s moving relentlessly, taking your breath away with each stroke.
“Yes.” You finally manage to say. “Oh god, yes.”
“Yes to what?” He taunts you. “Is that what you wanted or is it that good?”
“Both!” You say louder than you intended, then you remember you promised to be good and you lower your voice. “Yes to both!”
“Good girl.” His flesh hand travels to your neckline. He quickly pushes the straps of your dress down more, finally revealing your breasts. You aren’t wearing a bra, thanks to the padded dress. “God, look at you.” He marvels at you. “Such a pretty little doll. All mine.” 
His mouth latches on your right breast, sucking and biting it while he keeps moving. He knows how to use his mouth well everywhere. It makes everything so much better. You can feel that pleasure starts to bottle up, your abdomen tensing.
Oh, he truly knows how to get you there. He knows how much you love it when you two climax together. It feels heavenly… like you are in your own little world and there’s no one but him there. Nothing else matters. As your legs start to shake with overwhelming pleasure, you imagine going back inside, talking to others while his come is dripping out of you. No one would know what you two were up to. Not a single soul. It’s your little secret. The thought makes you moan a little bit louder. Your hands grip hard on his shoulders. 
Bucky moans right next to your ear. “God, you feel so good.” His hands are gripping hard on your ass. “I wish I can stay inside you forever. I don’t wanna move. I don’t wanna go anywhere else. I just wanna keep fucking you, until you beg me to stop.” Does he know what his words do to you? Does he notice how it amplifies your orgasm? Or does he just say whatever he wants to say? “I’m gonna come.” He warns you. “I’m gonna come, baby. I’m gonna come.” 
You ride your orgasms together, as he empties himself inside you. His head falls on your shoulder while he keeps holding you. His lips press against the crook of your neck. While you keep taking deep breaths, you can feel his heart racing. 
“Are you okay?” He asks while moving away enough to take himself out of you.
“Okay?” You question as he gently puts you on your feet. “I feel amazing.” 
You lift yourself on your tiptoes and give him a full wet kiss. 
“Now I believe you.” He gives you a little smile that only makes you want to kiss him again.
“I’ll be louder when we go home so you won’t have an ounce of doubt.”
“Yours or mine?” His question comes instantly.
“I don’t care.” You really don’t. All you want is him. Where, when, and how are just details.
He helps you shape your hair back to normal while you pull the stripes up. Your underwear is a mess and you are dripping out already. Bucky takes a napkin out of his pocket and kneels in front of you. He gently pushes the serviette between your folds, cleaning you up enough so you can go back inside. 
“Thank you.” You love it when he takes care of you like this. “But you know that won’t be enough. I will keep dripping all night.” 
“I’m counting on that.” You can see on his face how much that thought excites him. “Keep dripping onto your underwear while talking to others. Remember what we did here. Imagine what we will do later.” He stands up while you fix your dress and you realize that you can’t wait to leave this party already.
“You have such a dirty mouth. I love it.” You grab his face with one hand and just force him to kiss you. Not that you can actually force him to do anything, but he lets you anyway. “Come on. Let’s go back.”
**
It’s been a while since you returned to the party. Everything seems normal. No one even realized you were absent. No one is suspecting anything. That encourages you to look around for Bucky. When your eyes meet, he gives you a teasing smile while casually chatting with Sam.
The whole night you didn’t say a word to him. Not around other people. But you don't see any reason to keep avoiding him. Everyone knows you two are friendly. So you decide to walk over and chat a little.
“Oh, look who remembered us!” Sam jokes as soon as he notices you.
“Hello to you too, Sam.” You don’t mind his teasing. “Good to see you missed me.”
“Hey.” Bucky raises his beer bottle to casually greet you. He probably got tired of the bourbon.
“How are you, fellas?”
“Oh you know, missions and drinks. Same stuff,” Bucky answers your question. 
“Nothing new?” You tease him, just to see how he would react.
“Nope. Just little old me doing the same things.”
“Really, I keep telling him to go on a date or something but no. He prefers this misery instead.”
You try to surpass a smile forming on your lips, well aware of the exact reason why he’s declining the offer.
While you’re staring at each other, Sam notices Steve on the other side of the room and raises his hand. 
“Hey, Rogers!”
That’s definitely the last thing you need tonight, but there’s no way you can stop Sam. Steve joins your group in a couple of seconds, but for some reason, he looks… kinda miserable.
“You alright, man?” 
��Yeah, yeah.” He absently answers. “I’m fine. Feeling a bit under the weather.”
“Maybe that super serum is finally wearing off.” Sam jokes and it manages to make Steve smile for a second.
“How are you all?” Steve asks while looking at the whole group, but his eyes stay on you for a bit longer than the rest.
“Oh, we are fine. We were talking about the lack of Mr. Barnes’s dating life.”
God, he isn’t going to let that go, is he? 
“Speaking of dating…” Sam continues while taking his phone off. “I met this guy the other day and he’s perfect for you!” Is he talking to you? He shows you a photo of this blonde guy who honestly looks alright, but he’s practically a stranger. “He’s a good guy and he fits your type. I can give your his number if you want.”
“What the fuck, Sam?” Your response makes the rest laugh. “You are playing matchmaker now?”
“I mean… someone gotta do it and I was hoping you would find someone to return the favor for me.”
You look at Bucky just to see he’s kind of enjoying this while Steve looks thoughtful for some reason.
“That’s definitely not my type.”
“Really?” Sam side-eyes Steve for a second to see his reaction, but it’s like he already knew that. 
“And I am already seeing someone, so…”
“Wait a second!” Sam sounds surprised. “You are seeing someone? Since when?”
“Why are you so surprised? You thought I would inform you about my love life or something?” Bucky is laughing quietly on the side, and Sam looks a little uncomfortable.
“I don’t know. I thought you were single. You are already off the market, huh?”
Bucky subtly nods to his last comment but doesn’t say anything.
“Yeah, it seems so.” You put your drink on the nearest surface and stretch your neck a little. 
“Tired?” Bucky asks this time.
“Yes. I’m thinking about leaving. Maybe I should call an Uber or something.” You make a move to take your phone out.
“Actually… I was considering the same thing. I can drop you home, you can save up the money.”
“Really?” You didn’t expect him to offer to leave with you. Usually, one of you leaves first and the other follows, but maybe after tonight's events, he decided that there’s no reason to hide anymore. “Sure, that'd be great.”
You see Sam rolling his eyes. “There go hours of effort.”
“You wanted to leave before?” It’s obvious you are talking to Bucky.
“No, not really, but he assumes that and tries to talk me into staying every time.” You start to laugh. It’s not hard to imagine why Sam thinks he’d rather be somewhere else.
“Sorry, Sam, but we are old. Apparently we need more sleep.” You are mocking yourself and Bucky at the same time, wondering how he’ll react.
“He is old, but you… not so much.”
“My soul is old and that’s enough.” You raise both of your hands and wave a goodbye. “Anyways, time to go. Good to see both of you.” Your thumbs and index fingers move around like two guns pointed at Sam and Steve.
“Good night,” Bucky simply adds.
While you two quietly walk away, Sam is already suspecting something is up.
“Did I drink too much or is there something going on between them?” Sam asks when you are far enough not to hear it.
“They are together.” Steve tries to sound as casual as possible.
“Wait! Really?” He thought something was just blooming between you two, not a full on relationship. “How do you know?”
“I heard them.” Steve notices how it sounds and quickly adds: “Talking.”
“And you are okay with that?”
“Yeah, sure.” That doesn’t sound convincing at all. “It’s not my place to say anything. It was never that serious.” He isn’t sure if he’s trying to convince Sam or himself. “I mean… I think she’d want to get serious, but she talked about staying friends and I jumped on the opportunity and agreed because I didn’t want a relationship.”
Sam nods. “Well, good for them I guess. They seem like a good match.”
“They really do.”
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ruwriteshours · 8 months
Text
WHERE WERE YOU? ✵ (N.JM)
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⇉ pairing: na jaemin x fem! reader
⇉ genre: angst, comfort, fluff, smut (MINORS DNI)
⇉ summary: Your sweet loving boyfriend is always by your side during your bad days. What if one day, he can't be there for one of your worst?
⇉ warning: anxiety attacks, minor self-harm, sexual content
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You felt it again.
The same horrid feeling in the pit of your stomach, making its way to your chest. You could feel your heartbeat pumping loudly that it was too unbearable to listen. Your whole body was shaking in anxiety, your breath felt clogged.
It was too hard to breath.
You remembered the technique Jaemin had taught you.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat.
That happened for the past few minutes and unfortunately, no progress was made. If anything, you felt more suffocated than ever and you wanted nothing more than to be in the arms of your loving boyfriend.
You hesitated for a split second, afraid that you would feel like a burden. However, you could recall his words very clearly.
"Always come to me."
And so you did. As you stumbled your way to the bedroom to grab your phone, you shakily typed in the message you were going to send to your boyfriend.
You: Jaemin, I feel scared again.
As you awaited for his reply, the dreaded emotions you felt was impossible for you to stay composed. Beating your chest with your fist to stop the haunting sounds that were fueling in your anxiety.
Not a minute later, you hear a light 'ding' from your phone, indicating a text. Your heart felt more broken than ever when you read the text aloud.
Nana 💞: I'm busy rn
Nana 💞: Just do what we've been doing.
You frowned at his text. Not expecting it to sound harsh but you let it slide, thinking it was just your overthinking mind that was making you think negative thoughts and that he was probably doing his best to help you.
You: I can't. I've tried.
You: I need you here, Jaemin.
The speech bubble went on and off. You could tell that he was having trouble replying to you, but nevertheless, a part of you hoped that he would be on his way.
Nana 💞: You can handle it, Y/N.
Nana 💞: I can't always be thr to help you.
Nana 💞: I don't have time.
Nana 💞: I gotta go.
And just like that, he went offline. Despite a few more texts you sent, telling him that you needed him, you were only met with a single tick. You felt defeated as ever as you tried to remain calm. Deep down, you were disappointed in him but more so in yourself. You should've known from the start that you shouldn't have been too depended on someone to take care of you. You were beating yourself up for even having the thought of disturbing Jaemin.
He had always been there for you and this was one of the few times he wasn't home and yet you couldn't even handle it. God, how useless could you be.
You quickly dashed towards the front of the house, leaving your belongings behind in hopes that the fresh breeze of air would help you cool your mind.
Hours has passed and Jaemin was finally done with practice. He was feeling burnt out as ever, tired and frustated from the lack of rest he had for the past few days. As he reached for his phone, he saw the notifications from you. All of it begging him to come back home.
He felt his sanity crept back in as he realised how much he had been an ass. He was exhausted but that gave him no excuse to treat you like that. His heart dropped when he realised you were having one of your episodes and that he wasn't there to comfort you.
Picking up his steps, he rushed out of the practice room, ignoring the calls from his members. He didn't care anymore. The only thing filling up his mind was making sure that you're okay now.
Opening the front door and kicking his shoes off, he made a beeline towards your shared bedroom. He frowned when he found you no where in sight.
"Y/N." He called out, scouting for you in every single corner of the room. "I'm here now, baby. Where are you?"
He could feel his worry intensifies when he received no response. He quickly dialed your number, only to hear it vibrate near the couch.
He cursed, feeling more anxious that ever, not knowing where you were. He just prays that you are safe somewhere. Making his way to the door, ready to search for you, no matter how long it will take him.
Meanwhile, you were sitting in the middle of the park. Staring into the abyss as you let your thoughts consume you. You were so deep in your thoughts that you didn't hear the voice of your relieved boyfriend, having had searched you for hours. Going as far to contact all your friends to ask them about your whereabouts. You were obviously startled when he came into your view, holding the side of your face as he looked more happy than ever to see you safe.
"Why the hell are you out this late?" He gently scolded, ushering you out of your seat.
You pulled away, "I just need some air. Don't worry, I'll get out of your way."
"Hey, baby. Don't say that." He said but you weren't listening. You couldn't.
Not when you were feeling just as shitty as you were before you left the house. Being outside did nothing to help you and now that Jaemin is here, you were only scared that you'll annoy him further
"Hey, stop." Jaemin walked in front of you, blocking your path. You attempted to move to the side but he was quick with his steps, gently wrapping his arms around your shoulder.
You winced, pushing him away but he only tightened his embrace. "Let me go, Jaemin."
"Never." He snuggled his face at the crook of your neck. "I was an asshole. I'm sorry."
You shook your head, "No, I'm sorry." Your words made Jaemin confused, "I shouldn't have bothe—"
But before you could finish your sentence, your boyfriend smashed his lips against yours, silencing your words. You yelped at the sudden contact and just as you were about to back away, he held the back of your neck, preventing you from moving. His soft lips melted against yours and you couldn't help but eventually return the kiss back.
It lasted for a moment longer before Jaemin decided that he would pull away, he looked down on you with those eyes. You were slightly intimidated by the way his face was firm, as if he was angry at you.
"No. Don't ever say that, you're never a bother."
"But I—" You were cut off.
"No buts. I was in the wrong, I broke my promise and acted like shit towards you. You have no idea how much I will hate myself for putting you in this place." He finished off.
"No, Jaemin. It's not fair for you to blame yourself. You didn't put me in this place. I did. You were always there for me, don't let this one bad experience change that." You reached over to hold his cold hands.
Jaemin held on, shaking his head gently. "Regardless, I won't ever react that way. Please forgive me."
You smiled warmly,
"Of course I forgive you, idiot."
It was as if the conflict had never even started. After the conversation, you and Jaemin felt more relieved than ever. He was still wary about your anxiety though, but you assured him that it has slowly dissipitated— your emotions felt better than ever and that you just wanted to go home now and have some rest.
However, things took a quick turn when the both of you have finally reached home and were hastily grasping each other's clothing, desperately trying to remove those layers that were preventing you from touching him bare. You didn't know who initiated first, completely forgotten who was the one who smashed their lips against the other but all you knew was that you were desperately in need to be in Jaemin's arms.
In more ways than one.
As the both of you shared soft yet sloppy kisses, he led you towards the bedroom. You were amazed at how he was able to lead you with such ease considering he had his eyes closed while having his hands and lips occupied. You didn't questioned it though and just let the event take place.
He gently laid you under the soft covers of the bed, he broke the kiss and began placing small kisses down your neck. His hands went around your legs, to have them wrapped around his waist.
"You feel that?" He groaned, pulling your thighs closer to his bulge, which caused you to moan uncontrollably.
"A-Ah, yes. It feels so good." You mewled, reaching over to his pants to unbuckle it.
He chuckled softly at your impatient state but he eventually helped you out. The next thing, you both were completely naked with his cock shoved deep inside your tight wall.
"M-More, Jaemin!"
"Oh- yes! You look so pretty, baby!"
He held you even tighter, latching his lips onto yours— swallowing all your moans. You clenched around him, feeling your orgasm nearing. He groaned at the sudden action.
"Do that again." He demanded.
And you did.
He moaned aloud, having his arms rest on both sides of your face as he thrusted harder and you could tell that he was also nearing as it was slowly becoming sloppy. You moved your hips upwards, helping both of you out at completing your orgasm.
"I love you, Jaemin." You moaned as your vision nearly blacked out from the intense feeling.
"I love you too, baby!" He responded as he began bucking forward, shutting his eyes momentarily.
He got up as you were left alone to recollect your breath. By the time, you were able to gain enough energy, you see Jaemin emerged from the bathroom with a towel in his hand. He made his way to your side and began cleaning your inner thighs gently, the cum dripping out.
You could only mumble out small thank you's, feeling yourself worn out. He brushed aside your hair that was in the way and slowly gave you a long, passionate kiss.
"Let's sleep now. It's getting late." He smiled fondly, nestling by your side.
And with that, you felt yourself succumbed to your sleepiness.
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©ruwriteshours
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