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#i forgot the framing device was so literal in the beginning
aroacehanzawa · 6 months
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THANK YOU FOR RBING WITH YOUR THOUGHTS especially the last line.
i really do miss when bsd stayed in its own genre, and I KNOW before someone comes at me that sometimes you gotta do a little exploring, a little swaying. but not like this. i just dont enjoy the manga anymore because it's so far from what i fell in love with. and again before someone says oh then why are you reading it and complaining if it makes you so mad😤😤😡 IM NOT EVEN READING IT. I CHECK THE LEAKS AND I GO YEAH THIS IS STILL JUST FYODOR AND DAZAI NOT DYING. also because i care about the characters and i still want to see how the whole thing is resolved cuz guess what im not gonna just stop reading it after i invested 3 years of my life into it.
anyway yeah. as i said. whagever.
ME TOO.
The thing is that bsd has always been something more than just silly detectives vs port mafia shenanigans, but it managed keep this larger world contained in a way that made sense in the story. For example the book, which is practically a deus ex machina device, still had its place and function in the story - francis wanted it to bring back his daughter, and even the usage of the page to frame the agency was logical.
Even the more high tech stuff like the eyes of god surveillance system was well played - not only did we get a funny ace attorney moment of francis interrupting the courtroom and buying the software, it actually became plot relevant in the cannibalism arc to locate fyodor and early doa arc to find mushitarou. (and francis's death fakeout was actually good, because it wasn't overdone yet, plus we got a nice and fun redemption arc for him)
But then we're suddenly getting a bunch of new ability weapons like fukuchi's sword and prison realm one order and idk. what else have we had. Time manipulating cat lady who was practically used as an off-screen human ability weapon for dazai's convenience and then immediately killed off with no name no dialogue no character #feminism.
All this while it seems like asagiri completely forgot about the part where atsushi is somehow a beacon towards the book, but that isn't too surprising because it feels like asagiri has forgotten about the role and personality and agency of the characters in general. The thing that drew me into bsd in the first place was its sincere focus on the human experience, the way that each chapter and mini arc seemed to have something to say about the overarching themes of finding a reason to keep living and a place to belong. Now i feel like the last time we got to see any of this kind of commentary was with tachihara's arc, or briefly with sigma, but it still feels too shallow.
And like you said there's nothing wrong with a little exploring and a little swaying, in fact i think the whole premise of bsd is that it allows for so much exploration, but to me it feels like the potential that bsd held in the beginning is just not being met anymore. Or rather we're just not heading in the direction we could've been going in.
Atsushi and his implied connection to the book like i mentioned earlier. The order of the clock tower that has been teased since agatha's introduction and some sporadic mentions/implications of its existence since then. Dazai and fyodor's unknown first meeting (this is why i also don't like them killing off fyodor just like that because we still don't know anything about him BUT the way we've ended up in this inexhaustible loop of dazai wins fyodor wins dazai wins fyodor wins i also don't see any way out of it unless one or both of them die so. asagiri just look at what you've done)
idek what i'm trying to say here i'm just really frustrated because i've invested so much of my time in following bsd and it's like as a reader i'm not even getting anything out of it.
anywya read orv for good plot and characters and worldbuilding and literally perfect storytelling and respect for the reader
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theoriginalnikegirl · 3 years
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"I'm writing all this down so that more people will learn the truth. Maybe then, somehow, the human race can survive until the Andalites return and rescue us, as they promised they would.
Maybe." –The Invasion, 1
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jinkicake · 4 years
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Birthday Kisses~
How you’d spend your birthday with Bokuto, Kita, Atsumu, Sakusa!
Bokuto Koutarou x Reader
Kita Shinsuke x Reader
Miya Atsumu x Reader
Sakusa Kiyoomi x Reader
For @sarahvvictoria , Happy Birthday! I was going through my messages and saw your ask and wanted to post the request for your birthday today! I don’t really like my own birthday either, I always get such a weird feeling on the specific day, so maybe these fools can bring us both comfort! To my readers, happy birthday, happy belated birthday, happy early birthday, happy birthday! I hope you have a great day! 
WC- 2,083
~~~
Bokuto Koutarou
Bokuto would be so excited like it’s his own birthday, please he is going to be bouncing off the walls 
He wants to be the first person who tells you happy birthday. He’ll show up to your house at 11:59 PM and ring your doorbell so that when you open the door it’ll be your birthday and he can be the first one to say happy birthday!
Bokuto probably treasures little stuff like that,,, if you were sleeping then he will go straight back to sleep with you and if you’re a night owl….. You two will spend the early morning eating cake from a convenience store 
He is waking you up early, even if you don’t want to get up, Bokuto will wake you up with kisses and cuddles then drag you to the shower
Bokuto will not let the day go to waste! He’ll drag you around the city, go to Odaiba or Shibuya, time spent with you is time to be treasured!
Please, he is going to feed you so good like you two will go to so many restaurants and then Bokuto will drag you home to eat cake
He will literally be attached to your side all-day
And night, it’s going to be like a sleepover because he thinks your birthday is a really special day 
Bokuto would get you something really meaningful, with the help of Akaashi, and tons of little things that you like. OH and flowers, he would so get you flowers 
Your birthday is so important to Bokuto and he wants to show you all of that and more! 
“The flowers are really pretty, Kou,” You mutter as you eye the vase on your desk, the colorful bouquet with matching ribbons makes your heart flutter every time you look at it. “how did you know my favorite color?” At your teasing words, Bokuto lifts his head up from your chest and stares at you with a wild competitive look in his eyes. 
“I remember everything you tell me!” He tells you confidently and you let there be truth to his words, choosing to believe him for the time being. 
“Did Akaashi help you pick them out?” You gently twist a few strands of his hair between your fingers while letting your nails massage his scalp. Bokuto squeezes you tighter in his arms and furiously shakes his head.
“I got them all by myself for the special occasion!” Bokuto flashes you a bright smile and kisses your collarbone. “Because, I. love. you!” Between each of his words he presses a peck into your cheek, smothering you with his lips just because he can. “I hope you had a great day, every day I have with you is everything to me!” 
The cheesy confession makes your heart falter and you start to feel slightly anxious, though, once you feel Bokuto’s thumb drift over your knuckes the feeling washes away. You grab his cheeks and press them together to push his lips out before giving him a firm kiss. 
“You’re the best, Kou!”
Kita Shinsuke
Kita is the type to know your birthday like you don’t even have to remind him
Maybe you told him about your birthday once before you started dating and he just never forgot the date
If you don’t want to make plans then Kita will definitely do it for you
He takes it upon himself to make it a special day just for you, it starts exactly at midnight when he is the first one to text you ‘happy birthday’ as soon as your day starts
Kita spends the whole day with you, he brings you to his house and his grandma would make you a cake and it would be so sweet T T
I feel like he would take you to a park for a picnic, if you like that sort of thing. Kita would be really good at making plans based on your likes and interests
Kita would get you jewelry, maybe like a cute ring that can be put on a necklace so you never lose it, or a stuffed animal like an otter!
Kita reminds me of an otter, he would def get you an otter plushie so that you can always hold him close even when he isn’t there
You will eat great food all day and get all of Kita’s love!!! It’s definitely a day that leaves your heart full and fluttering
Even as your birthday comes to end, Kita will call you and verbally tell you how special you are and how much you mean to him because even when it isn’t your birthday he still wants you to know how much he appreciates you. You mean the world to him!
“Petal,” Kita’s voice rings through the phone and you rub at your eyes, pressing the device to put it on speaker so you can lay back down in bed. “did I wake you up?
“Hmm, Shinsuke it’s okay. What’s up?” You mumble back, already cocooning yourself within your blankets and burying your face into your pillows. The large otter rests underneath your arms as you hold it close to your chest, imagining that Kita is right there with you.
“I just wanted to say something, may I?” His words make your eyes snap open and your heart begins to snap up.
“Umm, of course, go ahead.” You dig your face into the plushie and hold your breath as you wait for whatever Kita has to say.
“I love you, (Y/N).” He starts and the grip you have on the stuffed animal lessens, your tense frame begins to relax. “I want to make every day with you just as special as yesterday. Maybe I should start by saying how much you mean to me.”
A few moments go by and you feel yourself being lulled to sleep by his voice, something you can always find comfort in.
“That would be a great start,” You laugh softly and in your mind, you can see Kita’s smile as he holds his phone close to him. “I love you too, Shinsuke, so much.” You yawn and feel your eyelids start to grow heavier.
“Sleep, petal, while I say everything I need to.”
Miya Atsumu 
Atsumu is going to go all out 
Please, this mf will bake you a cake and get you tons of gifts
His presents consist of random little things like keychains or a cute hand tower, he went shopping and simply grabbed everything that reminded him of you 
I think Atsumu would be the type who’d want to throw you a party so you can hang out with friends and be with people you enjoy 
Deep down he wants to spend the day alone with you, he wants to have you all to himself because Atsumu wants to shower you in attention 
It’s going to be a long date, he will drag you all over the city and take you out to eat, he’ll go wherever you want to go 
Atsumu is going to be on his best behavior, he makes the entire day all about you
Unless you want to hear him talk shit then he will happily talk shit 
He just refrains from doing so at first because he doesn’t want to bring the mood down and take away from the fact that it is YOUR DAY 
Atsumu would be the type to write you a long birthday message in a card, one that is filled with his words of appreciation for you and how much he loves you. It’s super soft and it fits him really well because deep down he is the biggest softie for you
“And that’s why your cake looks like a toddler made it."
“Fuck off ‘Samu!” Atsumu curses as he glares at his brother, the other twin simply winks at you and pushes the cake he made across the counter before he goes up to his room. 
“Happy birthday, (Y/N).” 
“Thanks, Osamu!” You call over your shoulder and turn towards your boyfriend, who is pouting and staring at his cake that is poorly decorated but made with 100% love. “It looks amazing, ‘Tsumu.” You tell Atsumu softly, resting your hand on his shoulder. “I bet it tastes ten times better too.” You kiss his jaw and Atsumu relaxes, wrapping his long arm around your waist to bring you into his lap. 
“Yeah?” He confirms and nuzzles his nose into the crook of your neck. You stare down at the two cakes in front of you, one made by someone who knows how to cook and the other made by someone who doesn’t but still tried very hard. 
“Of course, let’s eat it now!” You bounce eagerly and Atsumu reaches for a lighter to light the candles. Atsumu rests one of his hands on your hip while the other quickly lights up the candles. 
“Happy birthday, babe, make a wish.” He coos into your ear, all while kissing along your neck. Your thighs squeeze together at the gesture and you lean forward to blow out the flames. “What did you wish for?” 
“So nosy, if I tell you it won’t come true.” You scold and Atsumu nips at your shoulder.
“Well, all my wishes are already true.” Atsumu looks at you and you can see the seriousness in his eyes, the simple gesture has you leaning forward to kiss him. Atsumu laughs against your lips. “See?” 
Sakusa Kiyoomi 
This one made my heart flutter while thinking about it,,, Sakusa is the prince type!!! I think we can all agree on that one!!! 
Sakusa would pretend to not be interested in your birthday but deep down he wants to spend the whole day with you and he mentally plans exactly how to make it special 
He wants to pamper you and make sure you have the best day, he will do whatever you want
Sakusa would let you plan the day because if it were up to him you two would just stay home and spend time with each other there
If you want to go out to the city or go shopping Sakusa won’t complain, he won’t make any faces, he will do it without hesitation 
He wants to make your day special!!!! It’s all about you because Sakusa wants to show you how much you mean to him. He might not be the best with words but his actions say more than he ever needs to
I feel like he’d get you a sweet present like a bracelet or necklace, something with a cute charm that relates to your relationship
Sakusa just wants to make you happy like you make him, it all comes down to him always wanting to support you
One time he saw you smile and laugh, it made his heart stutter and ever since then he continuously tries to see you smile like that again 
He wants to spoil his princess rotten~
“Thank you for spending the day with me, Omi!” You smile brightly up at your boyfriend and Sakusa darts his eyes to look elsewhere. “I had so much fun!” You gently grab onto one of his hands and hold it lightly, the simple action causes a spark to zap at Sakusa’s fingertips. 
The ace makes the mistake of looking back at you, your bright smile and content eyes make his heart freeze. It feels like his world is slowing down, almost to a stop and there is nothing he can do to stop it. His eyes run all over your face, his pupils expand ever so slightly, and beneath his mask his lips are slightly parted. He could stare at you forever.
“Kiyoomi?” You call out to him, your eyebrows furrow together as you stare up at him, Sakusa can see the confusion on your face from his silence. 
“I’m really happy that I got to spend the day with you. Happy birthday, (Y/N).” Sakusa leans forward and presses his lips to your forehead, his mask brushes against your skin but you still feel the effect of it. You can’t help the loving smile that falls on your face. 
Sakusa squeezes your hand once more before he walks away from your house, every so often he turns around to make sure you went inside until he can no longer see you. Under the full moon of that night, Sakusa vows to himself to always see that happy face of yours, his chest swells in pride knowing that he can be one of the reasons behind it.
~ Taglist.
@yams046 @why-am-i-sad-and-sleepy @xhanjisungiex @xxashshs @chaosamu @angelkogane @augustdearly @kunimwuah  @littleshopoflove @osamuonigiri @pearzuko @darksxder @macaronnv @nerdygremlin @buzzybeebee @miyaxs @badboysdoitbetter2 @blossoms-nursery @bibliophile221b @curiouslilbeast
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eldritch-araneae · 3 years
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Windblade, Bumblebee, and Sari from my Sparkpulse AU :3
Below is quick AU explanation ( it’s 13,4k works, I’m sorry I tired to keep it short I SWEAR XD) Also I’m such dumbass, I forgot their Autobot sigils! XDDD
Core ideas of the AU:
It’s basically G1+TFA+Cyberverse mix;
This AU revolves around Bumblebee as the main protagonist;
Autobots crash-landed on Earth in 1985, they landed in Detroit, specifically on Belle Isle; 
Earth became their home and Autobots pretty much-integrated into human society over 33 years. They influenced human society a lot, that helped to avert climate and energy crisis( as not wanting humans going the same road as cybertronians by depriving their planet of resources);
Ark has fusion reactors that are used in Energon production. Autobots encouraged humans to use their own fusion reactors, which allowed human civilization to completely get rid of fossil fuel as the main power source;
Setting: Solarpunk (when the story happens);
Sparks exist and give a lifeforce to all forms of life, not just to cybertronians;
Cybertron is gone, nothing can fix it;
Decepticons only arrive in 2018.
Bumblebee’s Background.
Bumblebee is the youngest among Autobots, who was found on the road unconscious back on Cybertron by Jazz. 
After examining him, Ratchet shares his concerns with Optimus - not only Bumblebee is abnormally small but his plating is soft and flexible, yet fragile, it would be easy to cut and melt through. He also lacks physical strength. 
All of this implies that Cybertron has no more resources to forge any new bots and Bumblebee is the last.
This means there is no way Optimus should send the minibot to fight ( tho Bee has a lot of courage and will pull some crazy stunts here and there), so instead he assigns Bee for scouting and spying missions under Jazz’s supervision ( Special Operations).
Introductions went pretty well, though Optimus admitted that Bumblebee’s face seemed familiar.
Soon, after the first few scouting missions, it’s revealed that Bee has a bit more problems. His spark is strange, it’s producing way too much energy that his small frame can handle, resulting in the erratic sparkpulse that overwhelms his entire system and shut him down for 5 minutes.
Thankfully it was discovered after Bee finished his duty, but still, it raised a lot of concerns. Ratchet tried his best to examine his spark chamber, only to find that the minibot’s spark was sealed shut in some sort of protective shell. This shell cannot be opened. Cutting through it would be bad, so Ratchet opted to work with what he has. 
He first suggests Bee burn down this excessive energy, which works pretty well, as training with Windblade, or doing short races where it’s relatively safe with Hot Rod and such. Still, despite his efforts, the spark eventually will send a huge energy surge that would force-reboot Bumblebee. It didn’t stop Bee from taking on his missions and one of the reboots happened in the middle of the duty. That scared the shit out of everyone as they lost contact with him while he was on Decepticons territory. Thankfully, like clockwork, he was back in 5 minutes. After he completed the mission of securing intel, he had to convince Optimus that he would be okay even if he shut down because Deceptions would never catch him. Bee reveals that he has one interesting ability - he can sense sparks of others( both signature and the pulse). 
For some reason, he thought everyone could do this, that's why he never mentioned it before. 
That allows him to plan ahead, as he pays attention to hiding places and Deception’s nearby and how they move, easily avoiding his enemies. 
Soon he’s pretty much known as the elusive Autobot who will break onto your base, steal all your shit and get away without being caught. Megatron even places a big bounty for catching Bumblebee that is yet to be fulfilled. Then he gets known for being someone who Deceptions, who wants to join Autobots can go to and arrange the meeting with Optimus Prime. Windblade always helps him with this: Bee can sense what is spark feeling, while she can use psychic abilities to catch a sense of their intent. Together they never made a mistake, though there were a couple of close calls.
So this keeps going for a short period of time until Bee catches some terrible wave of spark signatures, emitting from below. Something tells me that they are in grave danger and Autobots must leave Cybertron for good. Such a claim isn’t taken lightly, asking what proof Bee has. 
Sadly, he cannot prove anything aside from “terrible screams of mass death coming from Cybertron's core”. He feels like he knows, but he cannot recall any memories from his data banks. All he knew was that they were screwed and it’s all because of Shockwave ( who Bee hates the most, not even Megatron sparks so much anger within him as seeing Shockwave does.). Windblade also caught this as well with her different sensors so she sided with Bumblebee. Then she decided to look into Bee’s mind and see if she can help Bee to recover those memories. 
It quickly proves that it’s not that simple - all his memories that come before he was found by Jazz are sealed away. And not by some hard-coding shenanigans, but by Vector Sigma - a device that was used to program the AllSpark ( the thing that gives life to cybertronians) so it will create a desired form of life.
 And not just him, but Windblade also discovered this seal, though it only seals specific cluster to memories, which timeframe aligns with Bee’s seal.
So they had a picture: Shockwave did something that messed up Cybertron’s core and, presumably, Bee and Windlade witnessed this( and apparently have met before)? The only way to find out, a break-in to The Spire of Forging ( a place where cybertronians were born), and use Vector Sigma to break the seals. 
That caused a huge fight as the spire was currently controlled by Decepticons, while Megatron suddenly got an idea to use the AllSpark to reprogram Autobots into Decepticons. So it becomes a race. Windbalde, Bumblebee, and Optimus have reached the Chamber of Creation first...only to find out that Vector Sigma is destroyed - the device was cut apart and crucial components were missing. But it wasn’t all - the AllSpark was gone as well!
Understanding that there is nothing they can do, they retreat, followed by angry Megatron’s shooting.
After the battle Optimus informed anyone of their grim situation: AllSpark is missing( they searched for it, this artifact that very strong and unique signature but it’s literally nowhere on Cybertron), Vector Sigma is destroyed and there is still a threat that gets closed to the surface that will destroy them all ( Bee was very insistent of leaving). 
So he makes it a vote between all Autobots: shall they leave or keep fighting. To Bee’s surprise, the majority decided on leaving. Relieved, he begins helping others to prepare Ark ( their spaceship) for a long journey.
When Ark was ready to launch, some complications happened ( as the ship wasn’t in perfect condition for interstellar travels) but they managed to leave Cybertron and begin their journey to their new home.
In general, Bee is in a good relationship with almost every Autobot. Optimus values him as both an amazing scout and a good friend who isn’t afraid to speak his mind and question everything.
Bumblebee befriends Windblade - the cityspeaker from Caminus ( which was of one the first colonies that were destroyed during the war). She absolutely adores Bee’s carefree and optimistic attitude, never being tired of his silly antics ( which he often does on purpose to lighten her mood). 
They become pretty close, and Bee has no problem opening up to her, like sharing his fears ( he is really brave but isn’t fearless).
Some bots like Sunstreaker don't really like Bumblebee much. He thinks that Bee is a defective bot that will doom their entire cause and this animosity intensified when Bee starts bringing in former Decepticons and insisting on leaving their planet behind. (Sunstreaker’s twin, Sideswipe, admits it’s probably because his brother used to be like Bumblebee, kind and hopeful, but the war has changed him and he hates it.) 
Bumblebee tried his best to ignore Sunstreaker, but it is difficult as he compares himself to bigger and stronger bots, feeling like what he’s doing isn’t enough. That being fast, athletic and cunning isn’t enough - he must be more, he must become strong. Which causes him to take some crazy decisions that will put Bee in danger and probably get hurt. 
He desperately craves recognition and respect from others while not realizing that he already has it.
The arrival of Autobots on Earth in 1985.
After one warp jump, they ended up in the Solar System. The Ark wasn’t doing well ( esp engine) and needed repairs if they wanna continue their journey. Teletraan-1 scanned the solar system, informed Autobots about the planet they are currently orbiting (Earth) has a sentient lifeform along with a diverse ecosystem. This surprised everyone because of the odds of them jumping tens thousand light-years away from Cybertron and ending up near other sentient beings.
Optimus didn’t wish to disturb other sentient beings, he decided that they should move to another planet, fix their ship, and move out. 
For that Teletraan-1 suggested staying on the fifth planet’s orbit which is a gas giant (Jupiter). Gas Giants are known for having a lot of hydrogen and helium and additionally, some chemical compounds like ammonia which can be used in producing deuterium and tritium ( isotopes of hydrogen)  which are used as fuel for fusion reactors.
The only issue was how to get there, as their ship is fragile at the moment. Wheeljack suggested using gravity assist still should be okay.
Teletraan-1 calculated the positions of the planets and it’s been decided they were gonna use Earth’s gravity to propel forward, then circle around and do another flyby near Earth - that would give them another speed to reach Jupiter.
Suddenly Teletraan-1 informs the crew about a big asteroid that is headed in their direction and the collision is imminent. It happened fast, before Autobots could maneuver Ark off of the way. After the asteroid successfully vibe checked Autobots, the Ark got seriously damaged and was flung towards the planet. They couldn't break from gravitational pull so Autobots had to prepare for impacts, which would be easier if the ship weren’t breaking apart at that moment, Teletraan-1 did it’s best to stir the ship away from the cities.
Meanwhile, in chaos, Bumblebee fell into a hole in the ship’s walls and he landed in the water of Lake Erie. The impact was terrible as it almost tore his arm from his body. He screamed in pain and was forced into reboot.
Then he woke up next time, he was still in the water, completely disoriented - mostly to the fact he could sense so many sparks around him. He brushed it off as it wasn't important at the moment. 
While still being in pain, he managed to swim up to the surface to look around. Bee saw a big smoke rising in the distance, assuming this is where Ark landed, he tried to make his way there. 
Then Bee sensed something nearby, another spark with clear distress radiating from it. He looked around but saw nothing, then he submerged under the water. He saw a small figure who was struggling to swim. 
Bee dive deeper ( while doing his best to ignore the pain of his damaged arm), gently caught the figure and went back to the surface. The figure took a big inhale and coughed a lot. Bee was concerned, but he could only observe for now. 
He first noticed how this being kinda reminded him of his own kin: they have 4 limbs- 2 legs and 2 arms with 5 fingers, the face structure is similar as well, they also warm and look like they vent as well ( aka breathing. Cybertronian’s breathing is part of the air cooling system.see more in Trivia). While there was a lot of difference as well( being organic lifeform and such), that amazed Bumblebee that he almost forgot about his hand.
After being calmed down, the figure finally looked at their savior only to meet face to face with a giant alien robot. He yelled as a surprise, while Bee yelled back because the former's yell startled him pretty much.
After the shock faded and understanding that Bee wasn't doing anything bad ( they were just chilling in the lake) they sighed in relief and smiled, thanked him for saving them. Bee cannot understand what the figure says, but he assumes right he can sense relief emitting from the figure’s spark and replies, which of course the other didn’t understand as well.
The figure then gestures towards the mainland that isn’t far away, while making a paddling motion which Bee understood as “take me to the land”. He nodded ( to his relief on it means the same thing for humans) and he began swimming towards the land. Which pretty much drained him as they both arrived and his hand got worse. 
Bumblebee curled on the ground, trying to endure, but once again his system shut him down. The last thing he hears as the figure calls to him is a worry.
The next time he awoke, he wasn’t by the lake anymore, but inside of some sort of garage. He was lying on the floor and he tried to get up, but again his arm hurt, though he noticed that this time the pain is tolerable somehow.
He looks to the side and sees that his entire arm was wrapped into some weird stuff, kinda looking like duct tape? Sure it was flimsy, it kept his arm from falling apart.
Two figures entered the room: one he’s already familiar with, which is this person he saved from the lake, and others. They look similar to each other, the other person looking older, for some reason they reminded him of Ratchet. Bee tried to sit up again, but the pain wasn't letting him. Two people instantly got worried, saying something to him which he imagined was something like “please don’t move”. The older one went close to examine the arm closely, Bumblebee knew this look: a look of someone who is checking on the work they did...really reminded of Ratchet again. 
Bee sighs and gives a small smile and thanks to them, though he knows they won’t understand the hopes that the tone of his voice suggested the meaning. The older person nods in acknowledgment, then they exchanged a few words with the younger one and left the room.
The younger one sat by Bee. Autobot looked at them, observing them once more, taking more onto more features and he could tell that they did the same with him. Suddenly their expression lighted up as if they had an idea. Bee tilted his head slightly in question.
Making sure that Bee’s attention is on them, the figure points at themself says “I”. At first, Bee was confused, so they repeated it again. The only thing he could think of is to repeat the same. The exclamation followed by a nod means he did it right. Then they pointed at him and said “you”. Bee did the same...and suddenly it’s clicked. The language, they were teaching him their language!  He smiled and they continued.
Somewhere in the middle of this, they finally introduced each other. The person’s name is Spike Witwicky, a 15yo boy who is living with his father and helping him with the car repairs business. When Bumblebee introduced himself, Spike giggled, saying that Bee’s name sounded exactly how they call a specific insect. The Autobot snorts, funding this coincidence amusing. 
What a strange planet, and he began liking it already. 
Spike asks if Bee came from that huge ship that was falling. He nods, explaining ( in his broken English I imagine) that an asteroid took them down, and then he fell through the hole into the water at high speed that almost tore his arm off. Spike winced sympathetically, assuring that now Bee is gonna be alright. Then he thanks the yellow Autobot for saving him, Bee smiled in response, saying he did what he was right. Though he gets curious how Spike ended up in the water in the first place and Spike blushes in embarrassment because he was looking at the descending Ark and he wasn’t paying attention that he was hanging on slippery ground. He fell and since he wasn’t a good swimmer, the current took him away from the land until Bumblebee found him later.
Soon Spike’s father returns with more supplies and he was pleasantly surprised that their guest can communicate with them. Bee thanks him for patching his arm, tho the old guy says he can do some more, while they try to find out where the Ark landed so they can return Bee back to his people.
A bit later in the evening, Spike decided to show Bee various VHS tapes documentaries about Earth( he almost moved tv and VHS player to the garage), he could have a picture of what their planet was like. The Autobot happily agrees, being both curious and see it as an opportunity to learn more English words.
After a few days, Spike’s dad found out where the Ark landed, on Belle Isle. He offered Bumblebee a lift ( he has a truck which also was used to transport the Autobot from the lake’s shore). Bee gladly agrees, being happy they were helping him even though they didn't have to. To which Spike replied that Bee didn't have to save him either, but he did it anyway.
Spike with dad helped him to get onto the thing where to connect the thing ( lol I forgot), they both sat into the car and began their ride.
The trip went okay, Bee even relaxed and looked around the city, being amazed because everything was new, the sensations were new. Though sure he could see people staring at him, understanding that they know about Autobots...after all, there is no way you could miss something like this as their crash landing. There was probably a lot of news going on about this. 
Thankfully, Spike informed him that the ship didn’t kill anyone during the crash, which was a great relief on his spark. 
Soon they arrived at their destination, Bee peeks over the truck to see the damage around ( a lot of broken trees), and the Ark wasn’t looking so good. He hoped at least everyone was okay!
Suddenly Windblade quickly walked out of Art’s entrance, expecting these humans to be more reporters or whatever and before she could draw any conclusions, Bee called her name and waved with his good arm which instantly grabbed her attention. 
She ran over to her best friends, that he’s alive ( she was looking everywhere and was worried sick) and really wanted to bear hug him, but she saw the arm, so she hugged him gently. Then Bee explained to her that those humans helped him ( gesturing to his broken arm). Windblade thanked the theme, as Bee translated to them. 
After that Windblade announced to everyone over comms that Bee is alive and found, but required medical attention. Meanwhile, Spike looked a bit sad and asked if he’ll see Bumblebee again. The bot smiled and told him that he memorized the path from Spike’s home to Ark, so he will find it again. For that Spike jumped into a hug ( Windblade quietly ‘awww’ed at the scene). 
Windblade helped Bee to stand up and get off the truck, both humans wished Bumblebee speedy recovery before they headed home. She was asking Bee about his new friends ( and also commenting how it was only their couple of days on this planet and he already befriended aliens amazing), Bee ofc told her everything.
On Art, the crew was overjoyed with Scout's return, though Ratchet quickly led him into the med bay as it was clear how much damage he sustained. Meanwhile, Bee sends to Teletraan-1 anything he learned in English, to share with other Autobots, which Optimus was delighted with such a turn of events as it meant he can finally properly contact humans.
After Autobots got a bit established ( like making connections with humans and stuff), Bee finally paid a visit to Spike, the boy was so happy to see him again. 
After that Bumblebee and Spike spend a lot of time together and become friends. Spike also befriended Windblade, while we weren’t as close with her as with Bee, they enjoyed each other's company. Spike’s dad also made friends among Autobots. Together they learned more about the world they were stranded in, with all its beauties and problems, discovering new things like sparks actually being in every living being, Bee has to train himself to probably filter signals, he mostly focused on sensing his fellow Autobots and humans.
Bee quickly grew attached to Earth, not really missing Cybertron anymore. Sure there are a lot of processes and it’s different for everyone but Autobots felt that they can actually live again ( or begin living for younger bots who were forged during the war), the future seemed bright.
When Spike got older ( around 18 yo) he informed Bumblebee that he will leave Detroit for a university opportunity. The news saddened the scout, not wanting to part with his human friend, but he understands that he shouldn’t be in the way of Spike’s hopes and dreams. Out of curiosity, he asks Spike what he’s gonna study ( he had multiple guesses because Spike liked a lot of things).To that Spike replied with the biggest smiles that he will become an astrophysicist! Spike never could choose one thing, but that fateful day when Autobots arrived has sealed the deal. He hoped that he would work at NASA one day. They both laugh.
The day when Spike was leaving, along with his father, they said goodbye. Spike promised to stay in contact with Bee, and the bot promised the same. Kilometers apart won’t matter, they will always remain best friends forever.
Bumblebee missed Spike greatly after this and he needed time to accept this, but thankfully they both were true to their promise and stayed in contact for all years to come.
Fast forward to 2018.
This is when the story would begin, as all previous events described in this document to this point would be revealed through flashbacks and such.
Autobots have been living in peace for 33 years now. They helped humans to progress, technologically, and socially ( Solarpunk setting). They are integrated into society and have jobs( Bee for example is a courier, though sometimes he acts as a diplomat at important meetings that he attends with Prime as humans tend to like him), some bots scattered across the globe to do their thing (though they ofc course pay visits to Ark).
The Ark is part of a big overgrown forest on Belle Isle. It is because Wheeljack and Perceptor wanted to fix the damage they did to the environment during their crush. And after some experimentation, trial, and error they made some sort of serum that stimulates trees to grow fast. Too fast even as plants got out of hand at one point, so they had to fix this as well.
Bumblebee took a liking of plants, so he started his own collection. This private chamber was damaged and has a missing wall after the crash, later it was fixed, it expanded a bit and has a lot of light coming in through windows so it’s perfect for plants keeping. 
6 years ago he and Windblade befriended human Sari Sumdac, who is now 30 years old head engineer, working at Sumdac Systems along with her father. She's an absolute gremlin and always up to shenanigans, which awakes the gremlin side of Bee. Windblade tags along as well, maybe to keep an eye on them. All three are close friends :3
Sari builds an exosuit that improves her strength and grats a lot of cool abilities ( aka Iron Man but cooler) in case Decepticons show up.
He’s also in contact (which thanks to the internet became much easier) and friends with Spike, who is 48 years old astrophysicist at NASA, married to Carly, and has adopted son Daniel. Spike with his family visits Detroit each year to hang out with Autobots.
There is a lot of shenanigans happening on Ark, especially in group chat ( aka Discord server? with Sari and Spike invited.) The higher command are mods, but sure, Jazz loves changing channels names into something stupid :D
There are always twins ( Sideswipe and Suntreaker) with pranks, Jazz blasting music, Wheeljack blowing himself up again while Ratchet complains, fixing him again and again. They would do a lot of activities when free, (imagine them playing Among Us, Bumblebee being such a good imposter >:3) adopting human customs, they even get invited sometimes to entertainment shows ( you know, like those with two teams they have to do various impressions, etc).
The Bee loves music and got into drumming ( he had a habit of focusing on someones’ sparkpulse, using it as a base beat and used his hands to drum on various surfaces as entertainment back on Cybertron), he always does collabs with Windblade ( electro guitar), Sari ( keyboard + other electronic stuff, like a theremin) and sometimes Spike ( saxophone) to do video game music covers, they have a channel ( editing video and maintaining are on Jazz).
Fun fact: Bee’s drumkit and Blade’s guitar are one of few things of cultural value that actually survived the war, though they required repairment and some adjustments ( because the kit was too big for Bumblebee), they are in good condition now. There is writing on Cybertronian, showing the name of the company that used to produce instruments all those million years ago. 
Autobots are living their best life, even though they are prepared in case Decepticons will show up at their doorway.
The arrival of Decepticons.
Decepticons left Cybertron soon after Autobot’s, as Megatron believed that Optimus stole the AllSpark and was determined to take it back and use it to fix their broken homeworlds. Unlike Ark, their spaceship, Nemesis, was in [perfect condition. so they traveled from star to star in order to find a signal from AllSpark.
The problem was that no matter how Shockwave updated the scanning system, they just couldn't find any traces. It was frustrating to Megatron, he could feel how much energy this object radiated every time he walked into the Chamber of Creation, but there was literally nothing. It couldn't just vanish into thin air, can it?
So they just kept guessing, checking every nearby star system. It took a lot of time and was fruitless and the Decepticons grew tired. Starscream especially, always dreamed about taking Megatron’s place and rule Decepticons. So one day, after another failure to locate the AllSpark, Megatron and Starscream broke into a fight, resulting in the warlord throwing his second in command at the control panel by accident. 
Starscream face planted random coordinations and the Nemesis warp jumped to the Solar System, placing them on Earth’s orbit. Sunday scanners activated as they found Autobots’ signatures on this planet. Megatron laughs, he finally found Optimus so the AllSpark must be with them.
Soon they landed somewhere outside of Detroit, which didn't go unnoticed. Teletraan-1 alerts Autobots immediately. Bumblebee volunteers to investigate, followed by Windblade as a backup. Optimus approves the mission and the trio goes to Nemesis location.
Bee gets close to Nemesis, while Blade stays in the air just in case her friend needs a quick escape. He knows the plans of the ship well ( he infiltrated it a number of times), so he easily slips through the guards inside, into the vents. Soon he locates Megatron and carefully listens. He finds out about Megatron's intention to seize the AllSpark from Autobots. Looks like it's the only reason why they even came here and he will turn the city apart to get it.
Thankfully Wheeljack made a force field that won't let Decepticons in as a precaution for years ago. Still, that is a grim sign and they have to deal with Deceptions regardless. 
Bumblebee hacks into their system and quickly downloads important intel.
Then he sees Shockwave, it takes a lot of self-control to not hiss, Megatron just gives him simple orders to oversee something. He takes orders and leaves, but Bumblebee notices that he went in a completely different direction ( as Bee knows the ship well) and didn't like it. Bee wants to follow and see what this mad scientist is planning, but he senses Ravage nearby. The cat is also moving quickly through vents, probably because Soundwave ejected him here in case Bumblebee will show up.
The scout quickly gets out beforeRavage discovers him and leaves. On the way back he shares his findings with Windblade, and later back on Ark with the high command of Autobots. They don't have the AllSpark (and even if they had they wouldn't give it to Megatron anyway), and they must drive Decepticons off the planet, or convince Megatron to stop.
So after this, I imagine a few instances when Decepticons tried to attack the city ( but couldn't get it), Autobots would usually lure them away from the city and fight them there. Here examples of shenanigans that happened:
Sudden dance off, the seeker trio( Starscream, Thundercracker, and Skywarp) was really confused about this shit;
Sari ( in her suit) is legit disassembling Decepticons in the mid-fight. Imagine, Starscream wants to shoot, but his null rays fall off, awkward;
She also stole t-cog ( the detail responsible for transformation) from Blitzwing, much later it was returned;
Devastator caught Bumblebee and was going to quash the scout. Bee on the other hand focused on Devastator’s sparks ( he’s a combiner, made out of 6 Decepticons known as Constructicons) by accident and could hear that chaos that is happening in Devastator’s mine ( since all 6 don't merge into one, they still present chatter, telling Devastator what to do which is pure chaos). That overwhelms him and he yells “QUIET”, silencing 6 six constructions which seriously freaks Devastator out and he falls apart. Much later he did the same trick again when tried to throw Devastator at Autobots again;
Optimus is trying to convince Megatron that they don't have the AllSpark which isn't working. Not letting his frustration get ahead of him, Prime starts throwing memes( which he carefully chose for a specific situation) at Megatron. Megatron is not amused ahah).
Megatron wants to move forward and maybe to take on other cities to force Prime to surrender, but Autobots are one step ahead( as they planned), surrounding Nemesis from various positions ( as Optimus called all other Autobots that live in different locations) to harass Deceptions from time to time, trapping their enemies effectively. 
Conspiring with cassettes.
Later Autobots find out that despite the force field being up, and effectively repelling Deceptions, Soundwave’s cassettes are actually able to squeeze through. Wheeljack is hypothesizing it’s probably because of their size ( they are smaller than Bumblebee as intended) and looking for a solution to solve this.
Interestingly enough, cassettes ( 5 of them: Ravage, Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, and twins: Frenzy and Rumble) are not causing chaos while being out in the city. Bumblebee is keeping an eye on them, he can easily track them down, though they move fast which turns into some sort of game. At some point, he actually exchanges words with Ravage. Bee is trying to understand cassette's motives, but Ravage keeps it to himself ( though Bee senses some sort of enjoyment instead of malice).
Later Bumblebee gets a message from Rumble: they have a bomb and will blow up something ( I haven't decided sorry) if Bumblebee won't come to them alone. Knowing this is turned into a fight, he goes anyway without telling anybody as he wants to get to the bottom of this.
This indeed turns into a fight, as cassettes demand Bee to tell them where the AllSpark is. Bee tells them he has no idea like anyone else. Ravage asks why Bumblebee doesn't want to restore Cybertron, to which Bee replies that there is literally nothing left to restore. The AllSpark isn't some sort of magical object that can fix all their problems. Besides, Decepticons had it in control, why didn't they use it then? The situation gets really awkward after this, Frenzy admits that Megatron saw devastation only after Autobots left as his focus shifted to other things after his enemies were gone.
The fight stops, Bumblebee seizes the moment and asks where is the bomb they threatened him with earlier. Laserbeak just casually shows it, and in fact, it wasn't even activated. Rumble tells him when Megatron found out that cassettes and slip through the barrier, he ordered Soundwave to use the bomb to cause chaos. This isn't really what cassettes want to do, because finally in a million years they can actually roam free and explore new locations and things safe from Megaton. 
Cassettes admit that they aren't really loyal to their leader, only participating in war because their caretaker, Soundwave, was loyal to Megaton...though his loyal shifted and now his loyalty revolves around keeping his cassettes safe because Megatron won't be nice if he finds out. So he keeps up his appearances, while he lets his cassettes roam free.
Bumblebee understands that situation is complicated, but he sees this as an opportunity to end this stupid war. After all, Soundwave is highly regarded by Megatron, so maybe he can work with this.
Buzzsaw thought asks what they are gonna do now as they failed the task, which is quickly decided to shift all blame onto Bumblebee, even for future situations like this as Bee revealed that he can sense from far away from anyone. Ravage realized it’s the reason why he and others were never able to catch him! So after this being decided they went back and Bee returned to Ark, sharing this only with Sari, Windblade, and Optimus Prime for security reasons, he doesn't want to blow cassettes cover by accident.
Infiltrating Nemesis again.
Bumblebee isn't having a good time. He gets forced into reboot more frequently than it used to, especially during battles with Decepticons. Autobots had to save him multiple times, which was a blow to his self-esteem. Not to mention Sunstreaker was at him again, insulting the scout. Bumblebee yelled at him in return ( something that never happened before), he gets angrier and more frustrated. His best friends are doing their best to help, but there is little they can do.
Ratchet examined him and scanners show that the spark shell is losing its integrity, as it wears off over time. That explained why so many reboots happened recently. He says that Bumblebee shouldn't go on the missions at all, and Optimus agrees with this. Bee doesn't take it well, believing they think he’s now being useless to them, and storms off.
Then he sneaks out at night, planning to infiltrate the Nemesis again with two purposes: to prove that he is still useful to Autobots and to find out what Shockwave is up to ( it still bothers him a lot).
He sneaks in like usual and at first, it was okay, but then the vent under him broke ( yeah those vents are worn off over so many years too) and he fell right before the Seeker Trio. So the chase begins, Bee still can get away and he knows the ship but suddenly an unfortunate thing happens - his spark malfunction again and sends him into forced reboot.
Next time he awakens, he’s being restrained on some sort of medical table, which Bee quickly recognizes where he is - in Shockwave quarters. That sends terror to his spark, not only he’s been caught and Autobots don't know where he is, but he’s at mercy of the mad scientist. 
He tried to break free, but it’s useless, he never had much strength anyway. He looks around, and among his various projects, he sees something like a spire blueprint projected on the screen. It seems like it’s part of Nemesis. He doesn't like this at all. 
Shockwave enters the rooms, carrying various tools with him. Bee asks what he’s gonna do with him. The scientist doesn't reply first as he runs the scanner over Bee’s entire body ( while he’s changing the project on his scene meanwhile), it detects something in Bee’s spark chamber. 
Bee asks why Shockwaves keeps doing this,( like his sick experiments that even Megatron did not approve of). To this, the scientist replies that this war is going way too long and it will never end. So he decided to have a little fun while he can, he wants to relish in chaos and see the world burn.
He says that Bumblebee is carrying something interesting inside and he wants to find it. Shockwave activates his cutting tool and gets closer, intending to cut Bumblebee open.
Thankfully, salvation comes in an unusual form, Soundwave enters the room and demands to hand Bumblebee to him. Shockwave is not amused and refuses, so both argue until Shockwave gets an order directly from Megatron because the warlord wants Soundwave to dig intel out of elusive Autobot scout. After that, Shockwave can do whatever he wants with the prisoner.
Bee sighs with relief as he is escorted to Soundwave quarters. He doesn't make an attempt to escape, he can't really run away with a stasis cuff one + hr wants to get more insight on the Communication Officer. Maybe Soundwave knows what Shockwave is planning.
When they arrive, Bumblebee gets fully restrained again, and he’s mind gets connected to Soundwave’s systems ( via a cord) to start digging thought Bee’s mind ( if I remember correctly, Soundwave can read minds and emotions bc he can sense electric impulses in the processor or brain, he using cord here bc he wants to do deeper). 
Bee is pretty calm about this, he doesn't carry any useful intel ( he usually drops it at Teletraan-1 when he completes the duty). So Soundwave is stuck with casual memories while looking for any indication of the AllSpark, though he comments on Bee's good drumming skills.
Meanwhile, Ravage self-ejects from Soundwave’s chest and be like “dude seriously how the fuck did you get caught?? what are you doing even?”. Bee asks if they know anything about Shockwave’s plans. Such a question surprises both Decepticons, Bee understands that they don't know anything. Ravage doesn't like the sound of this and asks Bee to elaborate, but before he can answer, the scout looks to the side, sensing Megatron is coming in this direction. 
Ravage quickly transforms and tucks himself back into Soundwave’s cassette deck. In a minute, the warlord himself entered the room. He is pleased to see Soundwave already working on the task, while he turns to Bumblebee to take a good look at him as he never has seen the scout, who ruined a lot of his plans, up close - Bee would always be in the distance or lingering on the corners of Megatron’s optics before vanishing out of sight.
Megatron is acting pretty smug as a big nuisance in his grasp, though he admits he feels like he saw Bee’s face somewhere ( same reaction as Prime). He starts monologuing about how it would be great if Bumblebee would join him, they would win this war quickly. Maybe the little scout would convince Optimus Prime to join them, to which Bee asked if Megatron is still salty about Optimus breaking up with him.
That quickly pisses Megatron off, he grabs scout's neck and pins him heavily on the table, saying that he should watch his mouth. Bee isn't having this, replying ( as much as he can with his throat squeezed) that Megatron is an insolent fool who only focuses to keep Starscream on a leash, while Shockwave is plotting under his nose.
Megatron would probably hurt Bumblebee after this, but Sundewave reminded his leader that he’s still working and needs the scout in pieces. Megatron gives the order to continue, while he leaves. Both Bee and Soundwave sigh in relief, the latter commenting that the scout should keep it down in Megatron’s presence, to which Bee replies that someone had to say this.
Soundwave soon stumbles upon the Vector Sigma seal, locking the rest of Bumblebee’s memories. Soundwave asks Bee about this, to which the scout gives him the honest answer - he doesn't know how it got there and it’s been there already when he “first” woke up. Bumblebee asks if Soundwave can break it. The communication officer makes a few attempts, but it doesn't affect the seal at all. They need Victory Sigma, but it’s gone.
Bee expressed his frustration because he felt like the answer lies beneath it, but he said that he will find a way to stop Megatron. Soundwave replies that it’s impossible, but Bee doesn't buy this, he noticed the other reaction and it was hopeful.  
Bumblebee also notices multiple sparkpulses inside Soundwave, his cassettes, but only 5 of them are active, while there are many more of them, and those cassettes are being stasis. Bee asks Soundwave how long they’ve been asleep. Soundwave pauses, not expecting that question, and they reply that they have been in stasis since the beginning of the war.
Bee now understands, Soundwave has been working hard for Megatron, wanting to end the war as quickly as possible ( that was a motivation for a lot of Decepticons as Bee found out when they reached out for him), while sparing most of his cassette the trauma.
They sat in silence for a minute before Megatron contacted Soundwave, demanding his presence somewhere while ordering to leave a cassette to guard the prisoner. Soundwave sits for another minute, communicating with these cassettes, then ejects Ravage and leaves the room.
Ravage stands still, listening to the environment and making sure the coast is clear, then tells Bumblebee “you broke out using shock bombs, understood?” and releases the scout. Bee quickly gets up, thanking the cat. To that Ravage says “Go left now, I’ll give you ten seconds”. Bee nods and runs out of the room. 
After ten seconds the alarms burst on, informing that the prisoner had escaped. For convenience, Bee uses a few shock bombs he has with him as Decepticons try to stop him. 
He gets out, though he’s also pretty beaten up and it takes hours for him to get back to Ark ( he couldn't transform). He collapses then he crosses the entrance.
When Bee awakens, he’s on a medical table. His body is fixed, though Ratchet gave the minibot an earful of lecture for defying his recommendations and now Bee’s spark shell is even more strained. Prime also talks to Bee, reassuring the scout that no, Optimus and other Autobots don’t see him as burned and he doesn't have to go to such lengths to prove himself ( those conversations happened often back on Cybertron).
Bee doesn't reply, yet the give into he gathered when he was stuck on Nemesis.
Soon after this, Bee actually gets to talk with Sunstreaker to resolve their issue. The taller Autobot admits that he’s been projecting a lot because he used to be like Bumblebee when he was younger. Then he was envious because, despite everything, Bee remains kinds and hopeful. The scout tells him it takes a lot of work to keep being him after all those tragedies he had witnessed. Sunstreaker nods, though he still doesn't understand who Bee can easily move on after leaving Cybertron, it was their home after all. 
Bumblebee simply said that Cyberton didn’t feel like home, but prison.
And then the shit gets real!
Optimus decided to take another chance to negotiate peace with Megatron. They gathered near Nemesis, both Autobots and Decepticons just chilling (some interacting, like cassettes hanging out with Bee-Blade-Sari trio) while their leaders were negotiating. 
At first there heated arguments between the two leaders, Megatron acting like Optimus is the one being unreasonable and trying to blame him, while Optimus being like “listen you started this shit, you have no one to blame but yourself” (more politely of course). Soon, they both calmed down and actually made progress, as Megatron noticed that a lot of Decepticons are being distracted by various Earthian things because it’s all new in a million years.
Before they could proclaim anything, Shockwave appeared. Bee tenses instantly, this can't be good. I haven't decided if Shockwave would monologue or not, but the end is the same - he shoots Bumblebee in the chest.
Before anyone can react, Shockwave snatches the minibot and lifts him to his level, taking a closer look at the wound. The shoot wasn't direct, but tangential - it made a hole in the chest and partly chipped away the protective shell, leaving Bee’s spark partly exposed.
The energy is pulsing through the hole now( while Bee’s pulse gets completely haywire as he tries to free himself), the signature, and the effect is unmistakable - this is the AllSpark.  The amount of shock is impossible to describe, after all, Bee was carrying the AllSpark within himself and no one had an idea. Even Shockwave did not expect THAT!
Megatron is being evil smug again, now the AllSpark within his grasp! Except Shockwave has other plans. Instead, he activates his device, which was built into Nemesis. This spire was designed to fuck over all lifeforms on this planet ( including cybertronians), and with AllSpark his plan to cause massive chaos gets perfect as the AllSpark not only creates but also destroys. 
As he was about to rip the AllSpark out of Bee’s body, this system got overwhelmed, but instead of rebooting, his body discharged the energy, creating a big wave that threw everyone away.
Bumblebee meanwhile is screaming in pain ( the AllSpark is slowly breaking him apart) and a surge of painful memories ( the wave broke the seal). Not to mention he’s surrounded and pretty sure he might die, if he wants to get through this - he must become stronger to protect himself.
That thought activates the interface, the Vector Sigma interface. It already had something set up there. Bee can’t really see what it is, something about protective armor(?), he confirms it, the interface turned into a small cell that absorbed a portion of AllSpark energy. Then, as if he knows what to do, he slams the cell into the ground.
For a moment nothing happened, then suddenly a huge amount of plant-like-black vine material burst from the ground. Everyone instantly got into their sense after that blast, now witnessing those vines connecting to Bee’s chest and the AllSpark, lifting him off the ground and begin forming something BIG.
Decepticons are trying to shoot those vines, but hey, they re heat resistant quickly grow back :) Autobots are trying to contact the scout, but his comm is dead, Windblade cannot get into him minds as it’s filled with so many negative emotions like rage, grief, desperation, depression. Said emotions also floored Soundwave, making him unable to move.
Soon Bumblebee ( or more like the huge shell that was growing around him) formed into a big, dragon-like creature, who leats out of deafening roar at AllSpark energy shoots everywhere. An he’s so angry that everyone around him can feel it in their sparks.
This is how he looks, he’s strong enough to throw big cybertronians around like chew toys. Bumblebee’s body is cocooned in the chest area, the light from the AllSpark shines through crevasses.
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Despite being angry, he doesn’t attack first and Optimus could have reasoned with him, but Megatron decided it was a good idea to attack the bigger monster and this is when the shit gets loose. 
Bumblebee trashes around, causing chaos around him, sometimes targeting someone and going after them for a few moments. All this is followed by energy discharges, so he successfully beats the shit out of everyone.
Shockwave is the only one who is pleased with surprise results, as he tried to collect data.
Soon Windblade manages to get a hold of her best friend’s mind and he tries to calm Bee down. He slows down a bit, which opens an opportunity for Sari to get inside thought crevasses and try to locate him.
She follows the opposite direction from energy flow, and soon she finds him. His face is a mix of anger and fear, Sari starts talking, trying to draw his attention to her. Soon enough he notices her ( the beast stops moving).
Bee tells her that he’s scared and he’s in pain. His body cracks more because even this large shall not contain all the power of the AllSpark. She hugs his head, telling that they will figure this out, but first hee need to stop thrashing around, he’s hurting everyone. 
Meanwhile, Windblade does the same, using telepathy to talk to him. It worked and they always convinced him to just fly towards the Ark, but Shockwave wasn’t having that, and started shooting at Bumblebee, trying to provoke him. Bee is sort of back to his senses, seeing Shockwave again, angers him to the point that this anger throws Windblade out of his mind. Sari is alright, but the expressions on Bee’s face terrified her. 
Bees run and pines Shockwave to the ground. Suddenly he speaks ( his voice sounds very distorted when it comes from the beast) telling him in space that Shockwave is the one who destroyed Cybertron and left them homeless. the mad scientist chuckles, commenting that this means his “pet project” had worked and he regrets nothing.  
Bumblebee executes Shockwave without mercy.
After Bumblebee flies up heads towards the Ark, Windblade flies after him, while Optimus uses this moment to gather Autobots and get the hell out of there. Sari tells him over comms that Bee is breaking, so he asks Ratchet to drive ahead and help Bumblebee.
Bee meanwhile is almost there, but his body cannot take this anymore. The chest opens up and Bumblebee with Sari falls out of the monster( then the husk falls down and lands right by the entrance of Ark). They both fall for a few seconds before the AllSpark shatters into small pieces and they fly in different directions. Windblade caught them both, both saw what happened and got really scared that Bee might be dead. 
There is small light coming from his exposed spark chamber, so Blade rushes to the medical bay, while frantically explaining to Ratchet ( who is on the way) what just happened. He instructs them to stabilize Bumblebee, enforcing he gets in and takes over.
Ratchet barely managed to save Bee’s life. After that, it took a lot of time to put the minibot together ( between all other urgent repairs of other Autobots that got fucked up by Bee’s outrage). Now, when the danger has passed, Ratchet can get a better look at scout’s sparks chamber that was hidden under the shell. Said shell was crumbled, he had to remove it. Then tells others what he’s discovered: 
First, his spark still hosts a few AllSpark shards. He tried to remove it but it turned out that Bee’s spark IS merged with the AllSpark. His system even pings errors about missing components. This is ironic because it made sense that the AllSpark was causing erratic sparkpulses, but yet they cant separated it from him;
Second, he discovered that Bee also has Vector Sigma installed in his spark chamber, this is exactly those missing components from the broken device;
Third, now there is a plant ( it looks exactly like that vine from earlier) parasite residing in Bee’s body, it appears to be feeding on AllSpark energy. Ratchet tried to remove it, it slapped him on the face. It resists and refuses to come off.
It raises so many questions, of how and why Bee got both AllSpark AND Vector Sigma. There was a suggestion that Bee could steal, or maybe all of this was some sick experiment that Shockwave did, though now they won’t know with the mad scientist dead. Windblade feels that she was involved in this, but still has no idea how.
She still cannot stop thinking about what she saw in Bee’s mindspace during the rampage. He was overwhelmed by grief, sadness, pain, guilt and all of this he merged into anger. And that he carried this angger for a really long time, longer that any of them can imagine. Ratchet is sure that Bee cannot be older, but who knows. Perhaps Bumblebee had a different body in the past that was destroyed.
After a week Bee wakes up. Of course, he’s being hugged by Blade and Sari, everyone sighed with relief. Optimus asks if Bee remembers anything from the meeting. The scout thinks for a moment. He remembers being shot, he remembers paint and panic and anger, he definitely remembers killing Shockwave. He doesn’t know who to feel about it.
He also informed him about a plant parasite. Bee is surprised, but he feels fine for far.
He’s upset when he learns that he beat everyone up and proceeds to apologize before every Autobot that was involved in this. He also sees his discarded husk outside of the Ark, which is examined by Wheeljack and Perceptor (  and wondering if human culture influenced Bee to make this creature look like one of the monsters from his video games).
He doesn’t have any recollection of making it, though this form seems familiar...probably he saw that dragon in a video game...probably.
Bee walks around the island to clear his head, being joined by Sari and Windblade. He admits that he is partly scared that he killed Shockwave like this...but on hand, he’s relieved that this guy is gone and Earth is safe for now. 
The scout also tells them that he remembered something during that fight that he could remember before. He tried again, but now it feels like his memories are scattered - they are there, but out of reach. 
To see what’s going on, Windblade uses her abilities to get into Bee’s mind. She sees that the Vector Sigma seal is gone ( tho her own is still active), but now all those memories that were locked are either missing or corrupted. Even those that weren’t locked are broken. She hypothesized that the AllSpark shattering damaged his data banks, taking the portion of memories with shards. 
That is just another reason why they must collect the shards.
Good thing that Bee can sense the shards, most of them landed in the city, but some landed outside, even near Nemesis which isn’t good. Later they come back and inform Prime about this and the high command starts formulating the plans of retrieving shards.
Meanwhile Wheeljack, Ratchet, and Sari brainstorm ideas of how to prevent the AllSpark from harming Bumblebee. The plant is absorbing the portion of energy, but it’s clear he still needs a shell. Sari tells them that Sumdac Systems will provide resources for the project.
Collecting the shards.
In general, the collecting of shards will go smoothly for most of the time, since most shards landed in the city. Some they found just laying in the bushes or roofs, some were handled by humans, some were even sent by mail. As new shards rejoin Bumblebee, Windblade helps him to restore his recent memories, while they still need to complete AllSpark to get access to previously locked memories.
Ratchet also keeps in check Bee’s health as new shards are added, and gradually builds a shell around the spark chamber, minding the plant.
So, few thing that happened during this time frame in no particular order:
Starscream got his hands onto one of the shards and caused chaos to both Decepticons and Autobots, he can even use it to get through the force field around the city;
Bumblebee created Grimlock, using an awesome t-rex animatronic as a base;
Thundercracker leaving Decepticons, thought he didn't go to Autobots either. He talks with Windbladem admitting that it was terrifying to see someone like Bumblebee so hurt ( he’s referring to that dragon accident) because of the war;
Discovering that the plant, living inside Bee is actually a symbiont - it protects its host when Bee is in danger, even helping him to lift a weight that Bee couldn't before ( though his body hurts a lot after this). Sari names it Clover ( in fact she did it with all Bee’s plants);
When the last shard is gathered, Ratchet doesnt final touches to the shell. He doesn't completely seal it away, letting it’s potions flow through Bumblebee’s body. This should reduce chances of forced reboot, thought they still might happen.
After this, Bumblebee secludes himself in his room, wanting to sort through all his memories, as those old one now finally accessible. After a few days he asks Windblade to come, He removes her Vector Sigma seal, and they talk through all those events. 
Soon Bumblebee requests Autobots together ( who can come, if someone can't, then they will be sent the recorded version of this) in front of Ark ( where the husk is) because there is something that everyone must know. He also asks Soundwave to send Laserbeak to the meeting, so she can record this conversation and present it to other Decepticons, Megatron included. Soundwave obliges, sending Bee his regards.
The truth behind the AllSpark.
Now with all his memories intact, Bumblebee reveals that he’s not the guardian or an weird experiment involving the AllSpark, but he IS the AllSpark.
That one thing was enough to shock everyone( accepts Windblade). At first they thought that technically yes, bc Bee’s spark fused the AllSpark, but Bee elaborates that he was created by Primus billions years ago. Windblade confirmed it, as she knows the truth already. 
To clear the confusion, Bumblebee starts from the beginning. 
Primus was wandering around the Universe. Like any giant with planet alt-form, he had one desire - to create and host a life. While he could easily transform, create a new life, and then fall into eternal slumber, Primus wanted to leave someone in charge. Thus he created the AllSpark - a powerful transformer who can create, destroy and maintain life on the planet. 
This person is Bumblebee, with a dragon-like altform, that looked almost exactly like that husk that now is resting in front of Ark.
Before Bee proceeded to his duties, he and Primus traveled around the Universe. Primus was teaching Bumblebee about life, about conditions required for life to exist, about material and what kind of life he can make. They visited planets, filled with various life forms: organic, silicone, energoinds and even other mechanical lifeforms.
Bee was observing living beings, learning about how they build, how they function, how they interact.
When the training was finished and Bee was ready, they traveled to a lone orange dwarf star(class K). Primus transformed and placed himself onto orbit. After this Bumblebee created the first cybertronian life. 
In thousands of years he filled the planets with divine ecosystems, with various biomes and huge species diversities and even first sentient beings. For most of the time he left anything for natural selection, while keeping a close eye on it in case something appears that will threaten life on the planet. In this case, by his protocols, he must kill that being in order to preserve balance.
He admits, while he loved his job and enjoyed creating, he was lonely. Primus advised against forming a relationship with his creations because he thought that Bumblebee’s powers could be misused in this case, for example getting involved in conflict where he could be persuaded to insta-kill someone. 
So he stayed out, but it hurt and he longed for companionship more than anything, which led to frustration and even anger at his creator for leaving alone for eternity.
Still, Bumblebee endured this and continued his work.
Peace lasted for a long time  ( if you don't think of the wars that were waged between clans from time to time), until Quintessons began their invasion on Cybertron. At first they couldn't set their tentacles there as Bee was such a fierce protector, but much later they figured out to send drones to fight instead. That posed a problem for Bumblebee because yes, he can easily kill a living being, but cannot kill what isn't alive in the first place. 
Bumblebee held endless hordes of drones for a long time, but eventually he was overwhelmed by numbers ( he was fighting alone, as cybertronians back there were no match to Quinesson’s forces) and killed.
Cybertron fell to Quintessons and everyone was enslaved.
Then Quintessons salvaged his spark( The AllSpark) and few more components to use the power of creation to create even more slaves. At first they couldn't use AllSpark, because it has quantuum properties. It creates endless possibilities, but none of their devices has enough strong sensors to set those possibilities, making them real.
Lucky for them, the components they got from Bumblebee’s dead body were connected to the AllSpark, with them Quintessons created Vector Sigma, a device that allows manipulation of the AllSpark.
They kept creating slayes, while completely ignoring anything else and soon all those diverse ecosystems that Bee made collapsed. The rain turned into acid, rust was crawling everywhere as Quintessons kept draining resources of the planet, while they tried to erase everything about Primus and AllSpark from cybetronian’s culture. While cybertronians still remembered Primus, the AllSpark was forgotten.
Hearing this was disturbing, considering the fact that after cybertronians liberated themselves from Quinesson’s tyranny - they kept using Vector Sigma for forging new bots.
Bumblebee wasn't too angry about this, they simply didn't know. Then he gets asked if he was killed, how Bumblebee is still here?
Short answer is they only destroyed his body. To explain this, Bumblebee reminds everyone how sparks work. Sparks are the lifeforce of every living being, but for sentient beings it also serves like a second brain/processor to process the emotion response.
But in Bumblebee’s case it’s the other way around: his spark is the main processor, while the head processor is for emotional response and processing the info from sensors. Primus made him like this in case Bumblebee's gonna get killed at some point so he could rebuild himself.  
Sadly, because they quickly salvaged him, removing both his spark and components that we connected to it and separating them - that made rebuilding impossible. 
And because of his spark’s quantuum nature, Bumblebee’s consciousness was locked in a quantum state, making him both existing and not existing at the same time.
He could only watch what’s happening. He was grieving over his work being destroyed, his creations being enslaved and potentially being forever stuck in quantuum sea, not able to interact with the real world again. 
The time went by, and eventually, cybertronians livetred themself from Quintessons and it marked the beginning of the Golden Age. Bumblebee was lingering, watching this happen. He was a bit happier after this, despite the fact that society was locked in functionalism( when both's place in society is defined by their alt form. Like a jet could only serve in the army) - a leftover from Quintesson tyraty. Still, it was better than Quintessons!
Bumblebee continues lingering, sometimes he floats in the form of a random bot and asks if they can see him. Usually it never works, but one day, one bot was able to hear him. Bee was ecstatic about this, finally he could talk to someone ( even though his talking was mere whisper as he forgot how his own voice used to sound). He introduced himself as Bumblebee ( it was one of many names that was given to him by his creations during ancient times that he liked a lot).
Bee thought maybe he could tell someone the truth about AllSpark origin and maybe that would help him to get back to the real world, but sadly none of his attempts were successful. Some don't believe him, some did but were punished by strict government. Additionally as Bee realised that only those who can psychic abilities can hear him. And those bots are extremely rare.
Still, Bumblebee wasn't losing hope, and kept trying ( though he was being more thoughtful about getting his friend in trouble). 
At some point, another big event happened - a gladiator named Megatron, with his partner, archivist Orion Pax ( who will later be known as Optimus Prime) created a revolution that liberated cybertronians from cages of functionalism. Now every cybertronian could be whoever they wanted, that pleased Bumblebee so much.
Not to mention now he has more chances to escape his quantuum prison, especially when a group of archaeologists has found a hidden temple that was dedicated to AllSpark - the only one that wasn't destroyed by Quintessons.
Even Megatron with Optimus came to see these fins. The most noticeable thing was the statue which archaeologists believed was the personification of AllSpark, which was an image of Bumblebee. 
(That made Optimus realise why Bumblebee’s face was so familiar when he first met him. Sure the form is different, but the face remains the same( and same goes to Megatron).)
At the same time a group of scientists noticed some quantum fluctuation comic from the AllSpark and they were going to research this. 
During this timeframe, Bee was really close to being found. He was really close to escaping. 
But as if fate decided to fuck everyone over, things changed from best to worst.
It all started when everyone realised that Cybertron will be completely drained of resources in a few millions years. That caused the frantic search of planets where they could get them. One planet that was relatively close was found. It was rich and solved this problem...but it also hosted life.
Heated arguments began, Megatron believed that they can just go and take it, because they really needed it and they are superior to this primitive form of life on that planet. Optimus on other hand refused to harm those lifeforms, even if they are primitive, that they can look elsewhere.
Bumblebee sided with Optimus, he knew the fact that there is another system near that one, that is rich with resources they need AND also unsuitable for life. He knew it in case if he ever needed those resources he could go and get them back in the day when he was in charge here.
Bee frantically searched for someone who could hear him, so he could pass this information...but he had no luck. Soon the civil war began and it was the beginning of the end.
As war was going on, Bumblebee lost all hope. He saw destruction he hadn't seen since Quintessons invasion and Cybertron’s reasons were thinning. Soon there were no resources to make new bots.
Bumblebee tight there is nothing he can do and was saddened about upcoming doom. 
Until and stumbled upon Windblade.
She was able to hear him. So they talked a lot and became close. Bee told her everything about himself, and when Blade was going to tell Optimus about Bee, he stopped her. Bumblebee was scared he's gonna be punished somehow ( it happened before in the past) but instead he has a plan, but he needs her help. She agrees, and waits until Bee is done with preparation.
Soon Bumblebee tells her about it, even a bit more urgently because he just saw Shockwave unleashing something that will kill everything and they need to get off the planet.
But first, Bumblebee needs a body. Now, when the Chamber of Creation isn't occupied anymore, Windblade sneaked inside ( Bee was carefully guiding her) the Spire, then got into the Chamber. 
He instructed her to activate Vector Sigma, then managed to upload a blueprint to her data banks that she was able to upload to Vector Sigma. 
Then he told her to set specific parameters, allowing the systems that were used for assembling bodies to scrap for resources. It was barely enough, still it gathered resources for a small body, compromising something like strength and armor. 
Then he told her to cut open Vector Sigma and get important components - the very same components that belonged to him long ago and install them to the body's spark chamber.
The last step was taking the AllSpark, placing it in a spark chamber and sealing it in a protective shell that will suppress the AllSpark frequency.
When Windblade did all this, she waited. It was silent for a few minutes and she was anxious that the plant might not get worse...before the body powered up and for the first time in seemingly forever, Bumblebee opened his optics.
This was probably the happiest day of his life since he lost his body. He hugged Windblade, thanking her for getting him out. After adjusting and remembering how to walk to transformers, they left the Spire.
But now they had to figure out what to do. When Megatron finds out that AllSpark is gone, hell will break loose and they cannot have the AllSpark being taken again. 
Bee cannot really protect himself. His body is fragile and will fall apart if he to unshesh his powers. And Decepticons like Soundwave can dig into one's mind to find out their secret. So it leads to a drastic solution - to seal any memories of him away. Blade doesn't want this, but understands it’s their only shotm so she agrees.
First they position themself near Autobot base.
Then Bumblebee activates his Vector Sigma interface, programming the seal in a specific way, so while memories are locked away, some feelings will linger. This will allow Bumblebee and Windblade to become friends again, and will also carry on the missing to make cybertronians leave the planet.
First he places the seal into Windblade’s data banks, which will activate in a few minutes and reboot her system. So it gives her time to arrive to base and be safe when memories are going to be locked away. She hugs him again before he leaves sayin “see you on the other side”.
Then he gets close to the road where Jazz soon appears, then he seales all his memories completely. The reboot happens and he falls on the ground, where next moment he’s being found by Jazz. 
The rest of the story everyone knows.
Bumblebee gives free minutes for everyone to process the whole thing. It explained a lot of things: his reboots, his ability to sense sparks, that husk’s creation,  pretty much everything.
So he’s being bombarded with questions, one of them was about what Shockwave did. Interestingly enough Bee never told Blade what exactly the mad scientist did. Bee tried to answer, but turned out he just cannot say this out of loud, that’s how terrible it was. Seeing the pained expression on Bumblebee’s face, everyone quickly moved on to different questions. 
Another question was about Primus, because Bee made it sound like Primus was just one of many beings like him. Bumblebee reveals that in fact, Earth is also giant like Primus, and unlike his creator, she can communicate with Bee during the recharge. 
So she’s asleep, but can talk to Bee when he’s asleep too. In fact he made a lot of attempts to connect, but because the AllSpark was sealed under shell, Bee could not hear her clearly. Until now.
She was asking if he can resurrect her two companions, who turned out to be Venus and Mars -  two other giants that came to this system with her. Something went wrong when both transformed to planets that caused their deaths, rendering planets unsuitable to life. 
Sadly, Bumblebee can only create or kill, he cannot bring the dead back. Once spark crosses the dimension and appears in the Well of All Sparks, it gets cleaned. It's a point of no return and the only direction for spark to go is forward -  to it's new life.
After the meeting is over, Bee turns to Laserbeak, making sure that all this information was received by Soundwave, which she confirms. Now they can only hope for better, that this is gonna be enough to stop Megaton from his fruitless conquest.
Then he goes on another walk around the forest, thinking about his past, present and future. Despite everything, he’s glad he lived to this point. He has what he always wanted( aka companionship) and now there is a chance for everyone to thrive once again, along with humans.
The final stretch.
Of course, nothing can be that easy. 
Soon after the big reveal, the entire Soundwave cassette horde( aka even those who were in stasis since the beginning of the war) arrives at the Ark’s entrance. They look terrified and begging for help. When asked what happened, Ravage told Bee that Megatron didn't take the news well when Soundwave presented that entire conversation to Decepticons.
Soundwave tried to reason with his leader, but Megatron got mad and hurt Soundwave, then he was going to hurt the cassettes as punishment, which resulted in fight and Soundwave ejecting every single one and telling them to run.
So they ran and came here, begging to save Soundwave.
This makes Bumblebee energon boil in his tubes, he’s almost jumped into his husk body to just run and tear Megatron apart, but he managed to calm himself. Optimus decided to go and deal with Megatron himself, and Bee tags along. 
When they meet again with Megatron near Nemesis again, first Optimus demands to release Soundwave. Somehow they convince him to do so, and Autobots take him to Ark for repair and reunite him with cassettes.
Meanwhile Megatron demands Bumblebee to fix Cynertron, which turns into a heated argument, because there is literally nothing to fix. Bee cannot just magically undo all the damage. 
In the end Bumblebee snaps, and just decides to do what he really, really didn't want to do -  he wants to open the space bridge and show Megatron what is happening on Cybertron. If this won't help, he doesn't know what can. 
Bumblebee warns that they might not get out alive, but Megatron agrees anyway, believing that minibot still can fix their home planet. Optimus Prime also joins, refusing to leave Bumblebee alone with Megatron.
They arrive at the Chamber of Creation and look outside ( as they are on top floor). The Spire is the only building that is still sanding, meanwhile anything else lay in ruins. Megatron is confused, he doesn't remember leaving Cynertron in such a terrible state.
Bumblebee asks them if they can see those drones. They cannot, asking what drones. He sighs, understanding they have to go to ground level and that's actually scary.  Still, he activated the elevator and they went down.
At entrance they stop and now they see - countless tiny drones consuming metal, then multiplying. And their hunger knows no bounds. 
Bumblebee reveals that those “Scraplets” were created by Shockwave in order to cause chaos among Autobots. But they didn't work as he intended he just threw them away. They landed near Cyberton’s core, which activated them...and they began to consume everything in sight. When Scaplets got to Cybertron lavras ( it’s like the immune system of the planet) and Bee felt their deaths, he knew the time was up and they needed to run.
Now it made sense why Bumblebee killed this mad scientist in the first place.
Megatron asks if Bumblebee can kill them, but Bee says he can only kill living beings,while those things are just sparkless drones and they will devour him quickly.
After a minute, Megatron sighs in defeat, telling Bumblebee he can take them back to Earth.
He nods and about to open a portal...then suddenly his spark is acting up again, sending a huge power surge around him. Once again he is forced into rebooting before he can open a portal.
This caught the attention of scraplets and they charged at bost. Optimus grabs Bee, and both he and Megatron start running. First they tried to make it to the elevator, but it was already being chewed.
So they were forced to take stairs. So Optimus carrying Bee, and dragging Megatron with him, Megatron is shooting from his fusion cannot, breaking shit to slow down scraplets. 
When they reach the top floor, they have nowhere to run. Megatrons asks how soon Bee will be back online, which according to Optimus’s chronometers is 3 more minutes. Megatron feels that they don't have it and suddenly the entire building is rumbling.
Because it’s being eaten, it starts falling, while scraplets are seeping inside the chamber. Two bots look at each other, and do the leap of faith ( while holding onto each other and Bumblebee of course). Just before they hit infested ground, Bee suddenly wakes up and he opens a portal. All three fall into it and are transported back to Earth.
Panicked they look around for scraplets that could be transported with them, but thankfully there was none. They are safe.
Optimus is surprised that Bee woke up earlier, and the minibot himself is surprised as well. Though he quickly realised it’s because of his plants symbiont + new shell combinations - his system still gets overwhelmed, but not as drastically as before, allowing his system to recover quicker.
After this, Megatron allows Autobots to leave in peace, while he still needs to process everything he saw.
Later ( with Optimus help) he declares that war is over and that Earth is their new home, which was surprisingly received well by other Decepticons ( he told them what he saw).
Finally Bumblebee can sigh in relief, finally they can have a bright future ahead of them and  he’s looking forward to it.
Trivia( aka random stuff I didn't know where to fit).
Cybertronians can breathe and it’s part of their air cooling system, as such a process allows them to quickly inhale cooler air and exhale hot air. When calm they don't actually breathe, but as soon they are scared/excited/in a fight - they start doing this;
They can also cry, and it’s also part of the cooling system. Processors and spark chambers tend to be heated more than anything and require cooling by liquid nitrogen. When strong emotional responses happen, heating goes off the charts, and because optics are so close to the head processor - there is a risk of melting them. So the liquid nitrogen gets pumped to optics as well, and because this liquid has a low boiling point - those tears take a form of gas, seeping through the space between optic and face. Older bots don't cry much because they kinda get used to horrors of the war, while younger like Bee are actually more emotional and showing it often. Even after restoring his memories fully, he’s still emotion as hell;
Bumblebee is sleepwalking sometimes, and if he sees another person he starts whispering “Can you see me?” over and over until he gets the “right” reasons which is “Yes, I can see you, Bumblebee”. After this he falls back to recharge. That scared a lot of Autobots first, they discovered the right answer when Optimus replied, thanks to his tendency to give full and polite answers. This happens because of trauma when Bee lost his body and became “non-existent” to anyone;
He used to terrify Decepticons when he infiltrated their bases  to the point they thought that Bee was some sort of Autobot vengeful spirit that came to hunt them. Bumblebee used his abilities to avoid his enemies, while toying with them, like lingering at the corners of their optics before disappearing and even whispering”Can you see me?” right into their audio sensors.);
When Decepticosn arrived on Earth, Bumblebee was an anxious mess, he was afraid that Earth might die just like Cybertron did. To give himself hope and a way of coping, he remembered the legend that if you fold 1000 origami cranes, your wish will come true. He made the first crane soon after Decepticon’s arrival, and the last right before he received his last AllSpark shard. Now those cranes are everywhere on the Ark;
Spike visits Detroit at some point, but I haven't decided when. Probably when the AllSpark shattered, so he helped to restore it too;
Bumblebee has two strong phobias: 
Athazagoraphobia. The fear of being forgotten, ignored, or abandoned; 
Monophobia. The fear of being alone for a long time;
In future, humans figured out the way to transport their mind into their spark and then transport that spark into techno-organic bodies which ultimately extends their lifespan.
Sari was one of first humans doing this, not wanting to leave Bumblebee and Windblade;
Spike, on the other hand, decided to die of old age because he felt like he did everything he wanted and his journey reached his end. Bee was really upset about this, but let Spike go. Spike spent his last moments with Bee.
Also in the future, Bumblebee’s body gets an upgrade, restoring his original form alt-form (6 legged dragon), though it’s smaller than before, Bee used to be small and finally comfortable with this. He will also be in charge of creating new cybertronians and terraforming new planets;
This is how Bumblebee used to look like;
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Here’s the statue that was discovered, that Optimus and Megatron saw before.
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rocorambles · 4 years
Text
A King and His Knight
Pairing: Oikawa x Female Reader, Oikawa x Reader x Iwaizumi
Genre: Yandere, Slight NSFW
Warnings: Yandere, Rape/Non-con, Violence, Mindbreak
Summary:  You weren’t wrong per se about Iwaizumi being a knight in shining armor, but you forgot to factor in that a knight always serves a king and Iwaizumi’s king will always be Oikawa.
You look like an absolute mess. Bruises are beginning to form around your throat and left cheekbone, buttons are missing from your blouse, and mascara is running down your face as you sob. But that doesn’t stop you from running as fast as you can on trembling legs, desperate to get away from the monster hidden behind a charming smile and chocolate brown eyes. 
You had been so flattered and ecstatic when the star setter of your volleyball team had started talking to you. Which girl at Aoba Johsai wouldn’t be? Oikawa was handsome, charming, and athletic and you didn’t think to question anything when he randomly began chatting with you between classes. You didn’t question him asking to eat lunch with you. You didn’t question him walking you to school. No doubt ever crossed your mind as he slowly began weaving himself more and more into your life until it seemed like the two of you were never apart. 
But that changed today when Oikawa asked you to stay and wait for him after his volleyball practice. Like always, you said yes without any hesitation and patiently waited for the tall brunette outside of the gym. You bid farewell to the rest of the team as they filed out before you went inside to find your new friend who patted the seat on the bleachers next to him. Seated side by side, you look at him questioningly and are met with a gaze full of hopeful anticipation as Oikawa asks you to be his girlfriend. You can hear the clocks on the gym walls tick as your heart sinks. Yes, Oikawa was the dream boyfriend for a majority of the females at Seijoh, but not for you. 
Nervously biting your lip, you gently let the boy down, trying to soften the blow as much as you could, saying you’d still love to be friends and that he’d find a girlfriend in no time with how popular he is. But Oikawa is motionless and with his face turned down, you can’t see his expression so you aimlessly ramble on until you’re shell shocked into silence when Oikawa finally lifts his head to look at you. There’s no smile, there’s no flirty wink, there’s only pure malice that makes your heart leap into your throat in fear. Your flight or fight instincts triggered, you make to stand up when Oikawa lunges at you and you both go crashing onto the bleacher floors. His hands are around your throat and you are terrified as you frantically fight to breathe. “You, bitch! I did everything right. I did everything a good boyfriend should do. I wasted so much time and effort on you and you have the fucking nerve to reject me?” You barely register the seething words falling from his lips as black spots begin to blur your vision and you feel like you’re about to faint from the lack of oxygen when suddenly his grip loosens and you gasp, spluttering for breath as you try to scoot away from him. A bone crushing grip on your ankle stops you from moving too far as he stares at you. “I’m going to give you one more chance. Will you be my girlfriend?”
Now that you can finally breathe and begin to register everything that’s happening, fury rages inside you. How dare he try and bully you into a relationship with him? You glare at him as you spitefully tell him you'd rather die than go out with a psychopath like him. But your hackles raise as Oikawa breaks into a belly bursting maniacal laughter at your fighting words and you’re so distracted by the absurdity of the situation that you don’t have time to react before a hand is powerfully striking you across your face. Literally knocked to the ground, you sob from the pain and shock of being hit and your mind is reeling to come to terms with what’s happening as strong hands drag you closer to a warm body. His hands are savagely ripping the top of your blouse open as he pins you to the ground, kissing and biting any inch of skin he can reach with reckless abandon. It’s pure luck that in your frantic flailing motions you’re able to kick his injured knee hard enough that he rears back from you in pain and you take that opportunity to bolt out the gym doors, through the school gates, and down the streets of your neighborhood. 
You’re running out of breath and your muscles and lungs begin to ache with the need to rest when you see a familiar head of spiky hair walking in front of you and you cry out his name. Startled, Iwaizumi turns around to see who’s calling for him and a look of horror flashes across his face as he takes in what state you’re in. He lets you crash into his arms as you sob into his chest and tell him everything that happened. Iwaizumi has always been kind. He’s always been the voice of reason, a pseudo-parent to the rambunctious boys on his team, a natural leader others look up to. Surely you can trust him to help you, you think to yourself, as you bury your face in his chest and continue to cling onto his strong muscular build. Unknown to you, as you find comfort in the vice captain, he is opening his phone and shooting a text message behind your back before quietly slipping the device into his pocket and wrapping his arms around your trembling frame.
He treats you to a cup of tea at a local cafe and the two of you talk about lighter topics as a way to distract you. Soon enough you’re both laughing and you feel more at ease. It’s growing late, but you don’t want to go home just yet, afraid of bursting into tears again at the sight of your parents. Seeming to sense your hesitation, Iwaizumi asks if you want to hang out at his place for a bit. It is a Friday night after all and there’s no school tomorrow. His parents are also out of town, so there’s no one to worry about bothering. Convinced, you shoot your own parents a text letting them know you’d be home late before walking side by side with the ace.
When you arrive at his house, he tells you to make yourself at home and you both deposit your school bags before getting some snacks and drinks from his kitchen. You make your way to his bedroom where all his game consoles are, but you freeze when you swing open his door. There laying on Iwaizumi’s bed is Oikawa and he’s staring at you with a feral grin on his face, eyes twisted with rage. You try to turn and run back out the room, but instead you collide with a hard chest and your face pales as you look up into emotionless green eyes. Iwaizumi easily picks you up with one arm and slings you across his shoulder as he closes and locks the bedroom door behind him and tears begin to fall from your eyes when you hear the resounding click of the lock. 
Maybe afterwards, when every single one of your holes is stretched out, when it feels like there’s no more tears left for you to cry, and when you agree to be Oikawa’s girlfriend just to make it all stop, you’ll realize how foolish you were to run to Iwaizumi. You weren’t wrong per se about Iwaizumi being a knight in shining armor, but you forgot to factor in that a knight always serves a king and Iwaizumi’s king will always be Oikawa. 
But for now, you lie there on Iwaizumi’s bed, your upper torso held up by the ace as he encircles your waist with toned arms and hooks his chin over your shoulder while Oikawa brutally thrusts into your aching pussy. You lie there as Oikawa persuades Iwaizumi to participate and together they stuff you fuller than you’ve ever felt before. And you lie there, reluctantly losing yourself to pleasure as your body is thoroughly used over and over again.             
676 notes · View notes
yerawizardjulia · 3 years
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Too Rich for a McNugget (Wolfstar)
A university student enters an antique shop in a panic. How do you buy a wedding gift for a cousin you hate? 
Sirius wouldn’t have looked twice at the dusty shop if he wasn’t stupidly, desperately late. The high street itself was laughing at him and he was uncomfortably aware of the scrubby guy on the bench that had definitely seen him walk past the same shop window three times in a desperate attempt to see anything other than tea towels and obnoxiously cheerful decorated mugs with ‘World’s best dad’ printed on the sides in Comic Sans. His fingers were slippery in anxious sweat as he pressed the home button on his phone, his iPhone six, another reason his presence would be scorned at this godforsaken gathering. The smudgy screen blinked into life and displayed, seemingly smugly after Sirius’ growing resentment towards the device, 12:42.
Twenty fucking minutes. If he didn’t show up with a gift he might as well not show up at all, an option he would have embraced wholeheartedly if his mother hadn’t pincered him into a corner at their last, regularly depressing routine coffee catch up and told him the deeds to his inheritance were under considerable threat if he did not attend. He wouldn’t have minded, but being twenty grand in debt to an English degree in a rented apartment with black mould creeping onto the ceiling made him reconsider his options.
Fucking Narcissa.
He wouldn’t have been looking forward to the wedding even if she wasn’t marrying a right wing, Eton-educated, ‘can’t control these blasted immigrants’ CEO of whateverthefuck that looked as though he’d never even touched an item of clothing that didn’t come from Armani. It was so typical of his cousin to find a man who deferred so minimally from their shared families’ frankly alarmingly consistent Tory heritage that Sirius had had to do some extensive Googling to confirm that Lucius Malfoy was not in fact, a not-so-distant relative.
A text buzzed in his hand, the little green notification welcome on the screen. At least it was an excuse to loiter outside this shop window for another minute or so without looking like a genuine psychopath.
‘Just get her a toaster or something idk.’
Sirius hadn’t really expected James’ solution to his predicament to be helpful, but his flatmate’s response nevertheless sent the hopeless feeling in his stomach a few inches lower. He had never expected for his future to be balanced on the purchase of a wedding gift, but he would almost prefer to sit his first-year exams, which he had taken with a hangover so severe it felt like he was going to vomit out of his eyeballs, all over again than have to look at this shop window for a second longer. He pictured sitting in a gutter in London, like the tramps that his mother refused to make eye contact with during their trips out during his childhood, drinking from a bottle wrapped in brown paper and thinking; if only I had gone with the luxury jam set. He had discarded the idea after noticing the Tesco’s Finest logo above the barcode, but it was beginning to look like his best option.
Another text. No, a call. Sirius shoved the phone back into his hoodie he was using to mask the aristocratic wedding attire beneath. Keepers of pretentious little shops such as the ones lining this dusty high street tended to bump their prices through the roof if they saw someone of his blood walk in. Old blood. Old money. It was unfair, really, because Sirius didn’t actually have any. If he did, he probably wouldn’t mind paying the exorbitant prices; James spent half his life agonising over how independent businesses were being suffocated by Amazon. But Sirius had nothing to his name until his dear grandparents decided to snuff it. The phone ceased buzzing waspishly in his pocket, and he decided he had better check who he was ignoring. 
Typical fucking Regulus. 
Probably the only human being under twenty that actually went out of his way to call people, rather than text. He would be there already, exchanging pleasantries in the foyer of the Malfoy’s third manor home. Checking to see whether the Black family disappointment was showing his face, or if he’d have to rely on his six predicted A* grades and brand new Porsche that probably cost more to insure than it did to buy to present himself as the golden child. He’d probably have a stupid little flower in his stupid little button hole. Being a cousin of the bride and a groomsman of the groom, Regulus had firmly nestled himself already into this hideous conjunction of families. He had a job lined up for him in Malfoy’s London branch. In six months, he’d probably have his own office.
Sirius had diluted his shampoo with water for the second time this morning.
He scowled and kicked a bottle cap along the pavement as he stumped, once again, down the row of shops. The circular metal projectile skittered across the tarmac and bounced off a door frame. He stopped, staring suddenly at the sign swinging on a pair of metal hooks like it was a medieval fucking tavern.
Fletcher’s Quality Gifts and Trinkets.
Somehow, inexplicably, Sirius’ eyes had slid over this shop four times as he’d panicked his way up and down this stretch of pavement. There was no window display, that was why. The door fit seamlessly between Bobbin’s Haberdashery and a derelict Cafe Nero. Sirius felt his phone buzz again and suppressed the urge to throw it into the path of the lazy, midday traffic crawling its way up the high street. He stared at the chipped paint and begged silently, to whatever entities may have been listening, that he would find something, anything to take to this fucking wedding.
The door jammed awkwardly on the floor as Sirius pushed it open. It made a juddering, dry squeak, scuffing on the splintery wood. Sirius winced, and half thought about just turning tail and walking out again, going back to pick up that cheap-as-shit jam set. Narcissa probably didn’t even eat jam. Was jam vegan?
He had to push his way in sideways, and as he did so, the door unstuck, swinging open and leaving him standing, pointlessly squashed back against the door frame. Sirius closed his eyes and wondered whether anything was going to go right today.
When he opened them, a guy was blinking at him from behind a checkout desk. A book was open on the surface before him and his long legs with too short trousers that showed a few inches of garishly coloured socks were rested upon the desk next to the till. He removed them hastily to the floor as Sirius stared.
“Sorry, the door- It gets stuck- you have to like-“ He mimed something that Sirius couldn’t even begin to relate to unsticking a door. “Sorry,” he finished, lamely. He bent over his book. Sirius peeled himself from the frame, not taking in the low beams that he would probably hit his head on or the items grouped together in nonsensical piles on the shelves and stacked on the floor.
This guy was gorgeous. He had an odd collection of features that were nothing special, when you looked at them individually- a nose that listed to the left, a thin top lip, a smattering of pigmentation on his cheeks that suggested acne that had been grown out of- but together... Sirius couldn’t stop staring at him. That tawny hair- fucking tawny, who am I, William pissing Wordsworth?- That sharp chin, those long fingers that teased the edge of the paper as he finished reading his page.
He was absolutely, fundamentally, not Sirius’ type. Any romantic entanglements he had had- and granted, it was not a long list (he and James had one sellotaped to the fridge)- involved men so deep in the closet they were practically choking on mothballs. They were footballers, mostly, insecure, ‘just experimenting’. Sirius didn’t know why his gaydar was sounding off so strongly. Was it the deeply uncool granddad jumper that somehow looked like it belonged in Men’s Vogue when draped over his long torso? Sirius was hardly modest about his own looks, but if he tried that jumper on he would look like the kid that forgot his P.E. kit. The same went for the not-skinny, not-baggy jeans that looked as though they were made for literally anyone other than him but somehow, looked really cool and why did Sirius love those hideous socks so much? Did they have pineapples on them? 
The guy, seemingly unaware of Sirius lurking behind the shelf closest to the door, propped the book up in his hands, and Sirius read the title- The Picture of Dorian Grey.
Well, there it is.
“IneedapresentforacousinIhatewho’smarryingaguythathasprobablynevereatenaMcDonald’schickennugget.” Sirius was hardly more aware of the words projectile vomiting from his mouth than he was of the way he was sidling towards the checkout desk with his hands wringing in front of him like he was expecting this guy to stand up and shout at him.
Brown eyes emerged from behind the finest work of Oscar Wilde, carrying a look of mild alarm.
“Because, he’s rich, not a vegetarian.” Sirius finished. His mouth seemed a long way behind his brain, but perhaps that was a good thing, because his brain was currently screaming FUCK ME and Sirius was not willing to be barred from any more establishments for hedonistic behaviour.
“A wedding present?” His voice was mild, like Sirius had just asked a perfectly normal question for a stranger to ask a shop employee.
“Uh, yeah.” Why was he blushing? He never blushed. He stepped back needlessly as the guy rose from behind the desk. He was tall. Proportionately tall, with long limbs and a long neck and long god knows what else. Sirius nearly fell to his knees in reverence when the guy cracked a smile that caused a dimple to poke in his cheek and exposed sharp canines that Sirius never considered worth noticing in anyone before but holy fuck he would be now.
“You know what, I think I’ve got something.” He was walking away down one of the dark-ish isles, stooping considerably to avoid the beams and Sirius was trailing after him, awkward and out of place and acting so drastically not like himself he wondered if he had sustained a concussion at some point. Maybe when he was forcing his way through that rude fucking door. The hair at the nape of this guy’s neck curled slightly like he was due a haircut. His trainers were really beat up and old, and Sirius was sure he could see one of the laces fraying and considered whether he should warn him he was about to trip.
“When is this wedding?” His voice was still mild and almost disconcertingly polite; he had stopped and was rummaging among a pile of objects on a shelf-seriously, how was anyone supposed to find anything in here?- and Sirius was still staring at his trailing shoelace.
“Well, sort of now.”
He stood up a bit straighter as the brown eyes widened, and he was looking at him, properly, for the first time and Jesus Christ, how were you supposed to stand normally? Where were your arms supposed to go? Eyebrows, light brown and shapeless and a bit sparse at the ends, furrowed and he let out a small huff of amusement. It was the politest expression of ‘this dude’s a complete disaster’ that Sirius had ever seen. “I’ve been putting it off,” he added needlessly. Something about the way this guy was now looking him up and down as if he could read his life story just from Sirius’ tailored trousers that he’d forgotten to get dry cleaned and his hoodie that was actually James’ and his shoes that looked expensive but were actually from TKMaxx was making him need to offer increasingly poor explanations for his shambles of a life. “I don’t want to go, but I have to, and I hate weddings anyway, but especially this one, and I-‘
The look of curious amusement on the guy’s face- god, Sirius really wanted to know his name- halted his rambling. “Sorry,” he mumbled, “I’m not normally this stressed.”
“That’s okay,” he replied, as if it was his job to tolerate a load of garbled nonsense from strangers, like he did it regularly, in fact, which made him wonder what kind of people actually came into this shop that you could barely tell existed. He was still rummaging through the shelves, Sirius was pretty sure a couple of things had fallen off the back and were now in the dark recesses of the between-shelf-and-wall space where things went to die. God, did anyone ever actually buy anything in here? He found it easier to control himself when the guy stopped x-raying him with his eyes, so he said “er, how long’s this shop been here?”
“Oh, I’ve only worked here six weeks. No idea, ages, probably.” He picked up a remarkably creepy porcelain figure of a shepherdess that was covered with so much dust that at first glance, Sirius thought it was some kind of radioactively-deformed elephant.
“I see what you mean,” said Sirius, staring at the figurine reproachfully. “How does anyone find anything in here?” The questions were not what he actually wanted to ask, which involved something along the lines of are you gay-are you single-are you safe from asbestos in this shop and do you think I’m a complete weirdo. He perked up when the guy let out another polite huff of laughter.
“Most customers have been coming in here for years,” he said, “I don’t see a lot of new people.” His eyes flickered to Sirius and back again and Sirius felt as if he was preparing to dive from a very large boat into a sea that was very cold.
“What’s your name?” Sirius asked, louder than he had meant to. He cringed inwardly and for the second time, considered legging it out of the door when he was once again regarded by a pair of searching brown eyes.
“Remus,” he said. Sirius could tell he was waiting for him to laugh. When he didn’t, because how the fuck could this man get any more attractive, and somehow the name Remus suited him down to his shredded laces, he turned to face him, as if in defiance.
“Hilarious, I know. Remus Lupin, which makes it even better.” Sirius’ resolve cracked at this.
“What?” He squawked, dragging his eyes over Remus again, because he looked like any novelist's wet dream and his name was Remus fucking Lupin... “Mine’s worse.” Sirius said, straightening again. Remus Lupin was rolling his eyes as if in grim acceptance of the barrage of snide jibes that had yet to tumble from Sirius’ mouth, but his eyebrows had disappeared into his hair at Sirius’ response and his arms were folded across his chest, which pulled the loose neck of his jumper down and exposed a few inches of pale sternum.
“I don’t believe you.”
Sirius grinned at this. He cleared his throat and pulled his hand out of the pouch/pocket/thing on the front of his hoodie which was definitely not a secure place for his phone, wallet and keys, and held it out.
“Sirius Black. Pleasure to meet you.” Remus’ mouth had fallen slightly open and a smile was touching at the corners of his lips as he took Sirius’ hand. Sirius was almost surprised that there was no jolt of electricity from all the built up static in his woollen jumper, but his skin was cool and his fingers were thin and twiggy and the knuckles were surprisingly big, and he didn’t drop it straight away, which made Sirius wonder if it was intentional, like a sort of gay signal, and then he remembered the Oscar Wilde book on the checkout desk and stopped trying to look for gay signals.
“Holy shit,” Remus spluttered. The profanity rolled masterfully from his lips; Sirius had never quite got the hang of swearing after his stuffy, conservative upbringing. Remus made it sound graceful.
“What a pair, eh?” said Sirius, and then cringed inwardly again because they weren’t a pair, they were complete strangers but somehow it felt like they’d known each other forever and fuck when did it get so hot in here? He looked at the shelves where Remus’ other hand still rested, and tried to ignore the eyes that were sliding up and down his body as Remus Lupin gave him what Sirius recognised as ‘the gay once-over.’ Dressed in the odd assortment of James’ secondary school football hoodie that had been surpassed by the frankly unnatural growth of James’ shoulders, pretentious shoes and crinkled dress trousers, Sirius was acutely aware that he was not looking his whole and considerable best. Christ, he might even look straight.
“There’s um-you said you might have something?” Sirius said, after another twenty five seconds in which Remus’ gaze had lingered on the rings Sirius had forgotten to take off (his mum would kill him if he turned up to a wedding looking like anything other than a Conservative Straight Man) and then drifted to his hair which was probably fried from all the sweating and running about and cheap shampoo. Remus blinked at these words, and whipped his head back to the shelves as if startled he had been caught in the act.
“Yes! Sorry, it’s-erm-can you hold this?” He plonked a cast iron sewing machine into Sirius’ arms who sagged beneath the weight, wheezing as he tried to lock his knees without Remus noticing. What the hell kind of Hulk body was hiding under that jumper? Eyes streaming, he balanced it on top of a pile of ancient National Geographic magazines and prayed it would not succumb to the inevitable force of gravity. Remus was deep into the recesses of the shelf, standing on tiptoe to reach the very back. His socks were visible again and Sirius could see now that they were not pineapples, but durians. Cute. His jumper was riding up as he stretched to whatever unknown artefacts lurked at the very rear and now it was Sirius’ turn to stare, because there was some pale midriff exposed above the waist of his jeans and he was skinny, but not skinny, kind of-lean? Was that the word? He had that vee of muscle above his hip and Sirius was suddenly struggling not to choke on his own tongue.
"Here it is!", came Remus' muffled voice, and Sirius took a step back hurriedly. He was pretty certain he had been gazing glassy eyed at the shop-keeper's navel where a delicate line of dark brown hair descended below his belt, and pinched his own wrist hard behind his back as Remus' head emerged, and he shook some cobwebs out of his curly hair. He was holding a small box, and Sirius’ first thought was that if something covered in that much dust came within eight feet of Narcissa, her immune system would likely spontaneously combust due to overexposure. People like her didn’t have immune systems, they just loaded themselves up with fucking multivitamins and avoided any establishments without at least two Michelin stars. 
“Sorry it’s a bit-“ Remus blew a cloud of dust off the top of the box, coughed, and wiped it off on the back of his jeans, muttering ‘need to stop smoking.’ 
Sirius almost went feral at the image of his lips pursed around a Marlboro, but managed to pull his face into a socially acceptable frame in time for Remus to pass the box to him. “What do you think?” 
Squatting in a bed of midnight blue velvet, sat a pair of silver napkin rings. They were ornate, and completely hideous. Sirius started to grin. He picked one up to examine it. It was decorated with a stag, and the other with a doe. It was likely the engraver had never seen these animals in the flesh, which would account for their mildly horrifying humanoid faces. 
“Perfect,” muttered Sirius, turning the ugly silver object over in his hand. It was heavy and looked antique, and Sirius knew it would fit right in with the future Mrs. Malfoy’s entirely tasteless kitchen decor. He looked up at Remus, disbelieving in the way he had absolutely nailed Sirius’ mission. “Absolutely bloody perfect.” 
Remus grinned back, a wondrous sight, his hands half in the pockets of his faded jeans. Sirius returned the napkin ring to its box, and then thought of something that made his smile falter. 
“Are these solid silver?” 
“Yep,” Remus said happily. “Nineteenth century antiques, I believe.” But Sirius was pushing the box back into his hands, shaking his head. 
“I can’t afford that, sorry I-“ 
“Five quid.” The box flew back into Sirius’ hands before he could blink. 
“Come again?”
The shopkeeper shrugged. “I’m the only person who knew they were there, and I doubt anyone else would want to bestow something that vile on a newly wedded couple.” 
Was this guy even real? Sirius couldn’t quite fathom what he had done to deserve this act of kindness, but he wasn’t about to turn it down. 
“Thank you,” he said, earnestly. Remus shrugged again, but the smile remained. He took Sirius back to the counter, where he took the box back from him and, while Sirius dug in his pocket for some change, produced some silvery wrapping paper and parcelled it. Sirius stole a surreptitious glance at him as he tied it off with a navy ribbon. His eyelashes were sandy like his eyebrows, but they were thick and almost touched his cheeks when his eyes were cast down on his work. 
Sirius was having a crisis. He had never asked for anyone’s number before, but the thought of walking out of this shop and never seeing this god-sent individual again was criminal. His mouth felt dry. What if he had misread this interaction completely, and Remus was just a friendly, helpful guy? He glanced at the book, now balanced on top of the till while Remus rang up, and took a breath. 
“Good book, that” he said, indicating The Picture of Dorian Grey awkwardly. Remus looked from him, to the book, and back again. While Sirius experienced a burning sensation in the base of his chest, Remus nodded non commitantly, and swept the stack of pound coins Sirius had placed on the desk into the till. He looked away, agonising, kicking himself internally at his own ineptness, as he pulled a receipt from the till and passed it and the neatly-wrapped box across the table. 
“All done.” 
“Thanks.” Sirius could feel his cheeks burning, and decided a clean getaway was well overdue. He had picked up the items and had half turned away when he heard- “I wrote my number on that receipt, you know.” 
The burning in his chest now felt like a slowly inflating balloon. He looked down at the smooth piece of paper and saw a number scribbled in biro on its surface. Eleven numbers. Definitely a phone number. He turned hastily back to Remus, who was- Sirius was pleased to see- also looking slightly bashful. 
“Thought my gaydar had malfunctioned for a minute there,” Sirius said. Remus laughed. 
“It was really great to meet you.” He said, placing his feet up on the desk again. 
“And you,” Sirius replied. Elated, he headed for the door before Remus could change his mind. He dreaded to think how late he was now, but he couldn’t think of a situation more worth a bollocking from his mother than this one. He had yanked the reluctant door open when- 
“Hey, Sirius?” 
“Yeah?” He looked over his shoulder. Remus was peering over the top of his book at him again. 
“Let me know how the wedding goes.” 
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dewykth · 4 years
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SWEET SEPTEMBER.
a @periminkle​​​ and @dewykth​​​ collaboration.
synopsis. for many, september symbolizes new beginnings. but for namjoon, this month never fails to send him back into the past. though this time, something seems different.
pairing. kim namjoon | female reader contains. fluff, angst, slice of life au, ballet instructor!reader, single dad!nj  word count. 7.5k+  warnings. death mentions, mature audience
dae’s note. surprise !!! this fic is dedicated to my favourite virgo karla @guklvr​​​​ !! happy birthday bae i hope you enjoy this lil thing me n vira whipped up for u!! (i stress wrote a lot of this ha.) also sry for lying & keeping you up but hopefully this makes u forgive me. but i hope ur day goes amazing ILYSM DUDE !!! <333 and a huge thank you to vira for hopping on board for this idea bc i cld not have done this without her !!! pls give her all the love !!!
vira’s note. KARLAAAA!!! i always gotta scream ur name it’s mandatory to start with a good scream ykno? bUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL 🥳  i already told u this too many times today but ILYSM !! like that full day without saying a single word to u felt so weird and i kept going into our chat and rereading our mssgs and wishing I was talking to u??? which is weird to admit?? but that literally how much i missed u idk how but im addicted to u so if you leave me I will literally die :))) aNYWAY have the bestestestest day ever and i hope u love the fic bc I ignored all my uni work to finish this !!! (also i feel reallyreallyreally bad about last night sO IM SORRY AGAIN BUT I HOPE THIS IS WORTH IT) 💖
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Despite the papers carelessly stuffed into his leather briefcase, the dark coffee stain on his black slacks, and his unkempt locks resembling that of a bird’s nest, Namjoon’s become accustomed to the hectic nature of his mornings.
The kitchen table is practically buried under stacks of files, yet he brushes them aside to allow one corner of the glass surface to peek through. He plops the toddler in his arms onto a high chair before racing to the counter and sloppily pouring some honey nut cheerios into a small bowl, handing it off to his daughter. 
“Daddy?” her voice squeaks, a patient smile stretching across her lips. Her brown strands are tied up into pigtails at the crown of her head with pink ribbons that flutter with the movement of her tiny head. 
“Yes, angel?” He scurries around to their bedroom, peeling the stained fabric off his body and threading one leg through another pair of slacks fresh from the laundry. 
With Namjoon’s focus pinned on checking off the mental to-do list in his head, he misses the gentle, reassuring smile that stretches across her rosy lips. The adoration for her father is clear in her gaze. “You forgot to pour the milk.”
At the reminder, he squawks and hops back to the kitchen on one foot as he maneuvers his other leg through the pant hole. Swinging the fridge door open, he grabs the carton and sloppily pours the milk into her bowl—white droplets leaping out with their newfound freedom and forming perfect domes on the glass tabletop.
Cleaning the mess falls to the bottom of his priorities at the moment, and so he speeds off to the bathroom to ensure that his appearance is presentable for work while Dasom reaches over to pluck a tissue from the box, swiping the milky beads away before diving into her breakfast. She shoves as many cheerios into her small mouth as she can, rushing because she refuses to finish her meal in the car with their wild driver behind the wheel. 
Despite her mere four years of age, she knows from experience that a bowl of cereal and a shaky vehicle is a recipe for disaster.
Namjoon races over to his briefcase with most of his hair sleeked back, only the locks of his bangs hanging out to frame his forehead. As he slips his dark blazer on to complete his form-fitting suit, Dasom scoops the last few brown rings into her mouth and slurps the remainder of the liquid.
“Did you finish your milk?” he questions while cramming the edges of the loose leaves that peek past the seam of his briefcase, hurriedly zipping it up and turning to face her.
Dasom flips the edge of the bowl up to display its empty contents, gulping the last of her breakfast down her throat. As per routine, she scans her father for any inconsistencies in his attire, landing on his odd fitting bottoms.
“Daddy, your pants are on backwards.”
His eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets, glancing down to affirm that the pockets at his sides are no longer at the front of his hips. Hastily, he shimmies out of his slacks once more and twists the fabric around to the proper orientation. 
Dasom hops off her chair, her bowl and wet kleenex in hand as she waddles over to the sink and waits for him to deposit the dirty dish into the sink and the sullied tissue into the trash. Although her short arms couldn’t reach over the countertop just yet, she’ll diligently drink every last drop of her milk in hopes of growing tall enough to take some of the load off of her father’s back.
He hoists Dasom up at the sight of the red car pulling up to the driveway, squeezing into the back seat. Namjoon doesn’t have to tell the driver to book it, as the calm man in front has learned to keep his foot pressed on the pedal. The car weaves through the morning traffic with concerning speed, snaking through the other vehicles littering the road as if they were no more than stationary pylons, simply there for practice.
Dasom remains on her father’s lap with his arms looped protectively around the seatbelt over her torso. She sinks into his embrace, fiddling around with his long, slender fingers as she watches the blurs of colour speeding past the window.
“Did you put your ballet shoes into your backpack, angel?” Namjoon loosens his grip on her, unhooking one hand to rummage through his own briefcase in order to confirm that he had indeed slid his laptop within the chaos inside. To keep her entertained, he playfully extends his digits out of her reach.
“Of course!” she chirps, a wide grin revealing the gaps between her teeth. The pads of her fingertips brush against his palm and tickle the sensitive skin there when she realizes that her arms lack the length required to latch onto his hand. “I can’t wait for class, we’ve got a new teacher coming in today!”
Humming absentmindedly, he sighs in relief at the sight of the silver device and packs the crumpled papers back in. “What happened to Ms. Kim?”
“She’s teaching the older class now.” The pout on her lips can be heard within the muffled lilt of her voice when she continues, “I asked her to stay until my birthday next week b-but she didn’t.”
Namjoon’s breath hitches at the reminder, but attempts to compose himself for his daughter’s sake. “It’s out of her control, angel, plus she’ll probably swing by anyway.”
His mind starts to fog up with the emotions he thought he buried last year–they swarm his every thought and nibble away at his sanity. He knows better than to believe that they would ever disappear. September will always be an insurmountable month for him.
“I might be a bit late to pick you up later, just sit tight and wait for Daddy, okay?”
She eagerly nods in response, noticing the dull red bricks of her school coming into view. “Okay, bye Daddy!”
Namjoon unlocks the seatbelt, wistfully watching his toddler bounce out of his arms and onto the asphalt below. No matter how many times he drops her off, it’s always difficult to be separated from her bright smile, but he reminds himself that it’s all for her; it makes things a little easier to bear.
“Have a good day at school.” He reciprocates her frantic waving through the window, craning his neck to watch her adorable form become smaller and smaller with the increased distance. Her full cheeks and crinkled eyes are engraved into the back of his mind.
Before long, Namjoon finds himself rushing into his office after an earful from his surly boss about everything from the late hour to the long list of meetings scheduled to all the work he’s got piled up. With his lips pursed and his head bowed, he somehow manages to make it past another lively morning.
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Namjoon has a habit of overthinking. He figures it’s normal when you have a stressful job and a four year old full of energy to balance all by yourself. Not that overthinking about his daughter does him any good, because that is far from the reality. If anything, it just makes him, what you’d call, a bit... overprotective (over worrisome if you asked Jin). But it’s something he can’t really help. Even when she had just entered his life, so small and so blissfully unaware of the awful and evil things in the world, all he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and shield her from it all as long as he could.
Though he’s very aware of the fact that it won’t be much longer, that won’t stop him from going over every single little thing that could go wrong in the meantime.
So, of course, when Namjoon’s asshole of a boss makes him stay two hours over his shift, all Namjoon can think about is Dasom. Is she okay? Has she eaten anything? Did she drink enough water today? She’s always dehydrated after her classes too. He usually calls Ms. Kim to check up on her, but his calls went straight to voicemail, which definitely wasn’t helping his hectic mind. Perhaps something had happened to her?
Oh god, maybe someone broke in and had injured Dasom?
The doors are thrown open, the sound of the doorknob hitting the wall reverberating through the room. The receptionist wearing her usual polka-dot dress jumps in her seat, eyes lifting from the intense scene on her phone to the entrance of the building. An unsure smile stretches across her ruby red lips at the familiar figure, though a bit disheveled and breathless. But before the customary ‘hello’ can even form on her tongue, the figure is rushing past her, leaving only a gust of air in his wake. The papers on her desk fall to the ground, and she sighs.
Namjoon is prepared to fight the (fictional) person who thinks breaking into a toddler ballet class is a good idea, but the scene in front of him once he pushes past the doors of the studio is one he is wholly unprepared for.
He sees Dasom first, and the relief that fills his body is indescribable. It’s far from the usual sight he’s greeted with when he picks her up late. She’s not sitting on one of the chairs in the far corner of the room. His heart doesn’t feel heavy, which comes with seeing his daughter so glum. This time it’s her laughter that greets him, not one provoked by him but by the figure standing in the middle of the room with her.
Dasom doesn’t seem to be aware of the presence of her dad yet, but the figure twirling her around turns, and her eyes land on Namjoon.
The reaction is immediate. The carefree smile that had been on your face slips off, a look of embarrassment and surprise overcoming your features. Namjoon only catches a glimpse, and somehow finds himself wishing that won’t be the last time he sees it. You let go of Dasom’s hand, quickly making your way to the stereo on the other side of the room. And that’s when-
“Daddy!”
Dasom wastes no time running into her father’s open arms, and Namjoon suddenly can’t remember why he was so worried in the first place. “Hi, angel.” he says, just loud enough for her to hear. She pulls back. “I’m so sorry for getting here so late. I promise i won’t do it again.”
But of course, Dasom holds nothing but forgiveness in her heart for her hard-working father. She does love teasing him, though. “Don't say sorry to me, say sorry to her.” she giggles, pointing behind her and Namjoon furrows his brow until he remembers they’re not the only ones in the room.
His eyes immediately move to where you stand awkwardly near the stereo, eyes moving around the room as if you hadn’t been watching the whole exchange. Namjoon sighs, realizing he definitely can’t avoid talking to you now. He stands straight, holding onto Dasom’s hand as he makes his way over to you. You only seem to grow more nervous as he nears, and Namjoon distantly recalls Jin telling him he came off as intimidating to most people. Something about his ‘beefy’ arms, in his own words. (“And that stupid and unfairly attractive face!”) He goes for a smile because it's not like he can control his physique.
“Hi, I’m so sorry about…”
Namjoon stops.
Maybe it was the overwhelming distress before, or the really shitty lighting of the studio, but he hadn’t realized how pretty you were before. But now he’s standing right in front of you and he can’t seem to form a coherent thought. Pretty can’t be the right word. He realizes how creepy he probably looks, running in here like a madman and then downright staring at the (very beautiful) woman who looked after his daughter? Not cool, man.
You clear your throat, before extending a hand to him. “Hi, I’m ____, the new ballet instructor.”
Your voice sounds just like honey.
Namjoon stares at your hand dumbly, before the sound of Dasom snickering (very discreetly) behind him snaps him out of it. But instead of introducing himself, or apologizing, or just taking your fucking hand, he says-
“What happened to Ms. Kim?”
He mentally face-palms.
Not. Cool. Man.
Your face falls, and Namjoon has never wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole more than he does now. “Uh, she’s instructing the teen class now.” you chuckle awkwardly, dropping your hand.
“Oh-”
“Daaaad,” Dasom's voice sounds annoyed, and perhaps it’s a bit silly of Namjoon to feel like he’s being scolded, but that is exactly how he feels right now. “I told you this. In the morning. Remember?”
He doesn’t. “Ah, right of course,” Namjoon scratches the back of his neck. It wasn’t like he meant to forget, he had just been too busy thinking about the other things every September would bring. “Sorry, I’m Kim Namjoon. Dasom’s dad.”
This time he offers his hand, and he thanks the skies above that you don’t seem to hate him because you fit your hand against his. Warm, like honey. How long had it been since he last made a fool of himself in front of a pretty girl?
Too long.
“I’m terribly sorry for arriving so late it’s just that my boss, who’s a huge-” Namjoon glances at Dasom, who is now in her own world, singing some song she learned in school, “jerk, decided to assign these reports last minute and the printer would just not work and then traffic hour-”
Your hand comes up to cover your mouth, but Namjoon can see the amusement bubbling in your eyes. He flushes a deep red, eyes falling to the floor, realizing he started ranting.
“It’s okay. Really.”
When he looks back up, there’s a smile on your face. Not like the one before, this one was more reserved, but genuine, reassuring. And just like that, he’s sure you don’t hate him.
Namjoon’s not sure he likes this feeling though.
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“Straighten your arms out, girls!” you belt over the classical music that floods the studio’s walls, scanning your army of toddlers in tutus whose arms immediately tense at your command. Making your way through the row, you poke and prod everywhere from their shoulders to their ankles. “Arch your back more, Somin.”
Their muscles violently tremble in response to the strenuous routine you’ve introduced, facial features scrunched in concentration and a resolute will to uphold their positions despite the hyperextension of their limbs. A mix of pity and pride swells in your chest at their effort. “Keep your chins up, the annual recital is only a couple of days away.”
Cheers erupt throughout the small room, disrupting the focus and spoiling their perfect form, yet you refuse to quiet excitement because of the renewed vigour buzzing throughout the room. The next hour depletes all of their built-up energy with demi-piles, pirouettes and sautés.
A glance at the analog clock in the corner informs you of the five minutes remaining before the end of class, so you pause the speakers and instruct the girls to stretch themselves out as they wait for their guardians to trickle in. They collectively sigh in relief before dropping to the floor like flies.
You snort at their dramatics with an amused smile playing at your lips. “I said to stretch, not to lay down and nap.”
“Can’t we nap and stretch at the same time?”
Strolling over to the source of the voice, you cluck your tongue at her limp form sprawled across the wooden floor and cross your arms, struggling to keep your giggles from breaking your angered facade. “And how do you suppose we do that, little Miss Dasom?”
She flashes her toothless grin up at you. “Like this!” With one leg bent over the other and her hands looping around to hold her twisted limbs to her torso, she shuts her eyes and exaggerates her snores.
At this point, it’s nearly impossible to withhold your snickers, and the rest of the class joins in your laughter. You pick up on Dasom’s tinkling giggles between each of her heavy breaths. The lighthearted jokes continue as kids are signed out with bright grins on each of their faces.
You wait for the rest of the toddlers to file out one by one, waving goodbye and checking them off your list until, as usual, Dasom is the only toddler left. Her tiny feet still clad in her faded ballet shoes waddle up to you, tugging on your blouse.
“Your pirouette was a bit wobbly today, do you want to go over—”
“‘M tired,” she interrupts, slouching her shoulders with an adorable frown marring her lips. Her exhaustion is justified, since the routine is rather exhausting, and with their recital right around the corner, you worked them to the bone today.
The odd timing of the switch between you and Ms. Kim left you with a little under a week to tweak and perfect their current choreography. A sloppy routine is not the way you want to present your skills to their parents for the first time, thus you were stricter with the kids than normal.
Your sympathy wins out, and so you gather Dasom’s lithe figure into your arms as you head to the closest wall. With your back supported, you spread out your legs and place her in your lap.
“My birthday is this Thursday.”
“Mhm,” you hum, bobbing your head to signal for her to continue her train of thought.
Her back faces you, but when her head tips down to stare at her hands, you know she’s contemplating her words carefully. Rather than encouraging her to speak freely, you wait for her to feel comfortable enough to reveal her thoughts; and surely enough, her shell cracks open just enough for you to peep through. “Do you wanna come?”
“I would be honoured.” A giddy smile splits across your lips. “Is Daddy picking you up again today?”
She flips around in your hold, wrapping her arms around your waist and snuggling her head to your chest. Her words are muffled into the fabric of your thin shirt, but her tone indicates her affirmation.
Suddenly self-conscious of your heartbeat—that Dasom can definitely hear with her ear pressed up against you—picking up pace at the mention of her father, you suppress your thoughts with a guilty conscience. You internally chide yourself for harbouring feelings for the charming, taken, man, defying arguably one of the most important fundamental rules of becoming an instructor.
Do not develop silly crushes on your student’s parents.
“Ms. ____?” her faint question snaps you out of your reverie, attention brought back to the present moment. While preoccupied, your hand took on a mind of its own, gingerly patting the space between the little girl’s shoulder blades at a slow rhythm.
She gazes up at you when you halt your rhythmic movements, sharp eyes boring into yours. “Are you gonna ask Daddy to come see me dance?”
The edges of your lips flip up in what you hope to be an encouraging smile as you nod your head. Subconsciously, you begin to stress over another encounter with Namjoon, formulating a script to hopefully avoid the stiff, tense atmosphere that lingered throughout all your previous interactions.
“Daddy’s always really busy,” she slurs, drowsiness coating her words and weighing down on her lids. Grumbling under her breath about her numb legs, Dasom crawls onto the floor beside you with her head resting on your thigh. “He’s always working hard for me.”
Your eyes soften at the fetal position she’s taken up on the ground; not only was Dasom lucky to have such a dedicated father, but Namjoon was also blessed with a caring daughter. “You don’t think he can make it?”
“It’s okay,” she whispers and you have to crane your ears to listen. You stroke the strands littering her forehead, gingerly caressing the crown of her head. “It’s okay if Daddy can’t come. I know him, he’s trying to do it all because Mommy’s not with us anymore, but it’s okay. I still love him even if I can’t see him lots.”
A knot forms between your eyebrows, a bittersweet ache forming within the creases of your heart. The painful constriction of your chest ebbs and flows with your shallow breaths that can’t seem to make it past your throat. You bite your lip to subdue the plentiful liquid gathering at your waterline.
No more than a croak escapes your lips before the door to the studio flies open, meeting the adjacent wall with a bang!
“I’m so sorry, my meeting ran late and I couldn’t—” the rest of his speech gets stuck in his windpipe at the sight of you, eyes rimmed red and sniffling, with Dasom, ostensibly dead asleep, on your thigh. “Did she…?”
You blink away your incoming tears, although your dignity has been completely thrown out the window, seeing as he believes that his four-year-old kid made a grown woman, who just so happens to be her ballet teacher, bawl her eyes out.
As you go to gently shake Dasom awake, she sluggishly lifts her head off of your lap and starts to scale your torso like a koala on a tree. Your confusion is vocalized through the high-pitched hum in your throat, but your efforts to pry off her limbs, tightly wound around the small of your waist, are futile.
“Uh, Dasom? It’s time to go home now, angel.” Despite his firm words, Namjoon’s tone is unsure and shaky; he can feel cold sweat build up in the lines of his palms. He knows his daughter, and she can be periodically stubborn and insistent the way children are at her age, thus even as you come to stand, she’s stuck to you like glue. “Would you, uh, did you need a ride?”
You mimic the sheepish smile on his face, hoping the flaming blush you feel on your cheeks isn’t as visible as it seems. “Sure.”
With Dasom latched onto you, both of you make your way to the red car outside after you lock up the studio. Namjoon courteously opens the car door for you, what with your arms supporting his clingy toddler; although, with the brute force he uses, you worry for the state of the hinges. Thankfully, they stay intact and he’s able to slip into the backseat after you.
Before an awkward silence can settle, you clear your throat and prepare to ask him about his day, but you’re interjected by Namjoon’s sudden stammering, “D-driving’s such a hassle for me so Jin drives us everywhere. Jin knows how to drive though, so, don’t worry.” He finishes with a deep chuckle that dies off nearly as quickly as it began. Oh, that’s unexpected.
“You don’t to drive yourself?” Rather than being processed in your brain and logically thought through, the question immediately enters your mouth without any prior scanning for dumbass-content. You instantly regret it, feeling as though it’s much too invasive. “You don’t have to answer that, I—”
The hearty laughter that meets your ears is “No, I do. Sometimes. But its easier raising this one like this.” His tone turns sweet at the mention of Dasom as he reaches over to pat her head, and you’re overcome with an intense desire to prod more into his personal life. Why does he have to work so much? Which shirt in his closet is his favourite? How does he like his eggs in the morning?
“I’m not sure if you already knew about the annual recital on Saturday, but Dasom’s been practicing really hard for weeks and the kids are all really talented, so it would definitely be worth your time...”
As he’s gazing at his daughter, galaxies of devotion and longing swirl within his cocoa irises. The cool light of the moon shines through the windows of the car, illuminating his sharp jawline and strong brows. You’re absolutely mesmerized by the sight in front of you. “You must be really busy, huh?”
“More than I’d like to be.”
You rip your entranced gaze away from Namjoon, willing yourself to steady your frantic breaths.
The remainder of the ride still drips with awkward tension, although with a definite lighter tone than before. Jin pulls up to your apartment with your direction and you dislodge a sleepy Dasom from your torso, which is much easier now that her limbs have gone slack with sleep. Handing her off to Namjoon, who practically engulfs her tiny form with his broad chest, you rush out of the vehicle with a quick, “See you!”
You slam the door closed before he can say anything, racing into the comfort of your home with your heart in your throat.
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The last thing you had expected to do on a Thursday evening was to go to a birthday dinner. Thursdays are your days off, your in-days. The ones you spend lounging on your couch with a face mask and some wine. And yet, here you are.
When you received a text this morning, the last person you had expected it to be was Namjoon. Much less Namjoon asking you to come over for Dasom’s birthday. You weren’t going to say yes, hell, you had thought of downright ignoring it. It was weird, wasn’t it? But Dasom had quickly carved a toddler-shaped hole into your heart. Truly, you had said yes before the message was even typed out.
And so now you stare at the tall apartment building in front of you, definitely feeling more nervous than before. You knew that Namjoon had to be well-off to afford a weekday chauffeur, but damn did you not expect him to be this well-off.
It seemed today was the day to expect absolutely anything.
You enter the opulent building, signing in at the front desk before entering the large, mirrored elevator. The beating of your heart picks up the more floors you pass, and you can’t help but fidget with your appearance. Namjoon had said it would only be you three, which you guessed was supposed to calm your nerves but really, it did anything but that. The mere thought of eating dinner with Namjoon was nerve-wracking. But now you were about to eat dinner and enter his home; you had no fucking clue what you were getting yourself into.
The doors slide open, and you step into the hallway. A single door could be seen at the end of the hallway, so you quickly make your way over. You stop right in front, taking a deep breath in before pushing the doorbell. A beat, a crash, another beat, then-
The door swings open, and your breath catches in your throat.
Namjoon looks heavenly as always, but seeing him in clothes other than his usual black slacks makes your heart do a cartwheel. God, this is dangerous.
“Ms. ____!”
Before Namjoon can form a hello, Dasom is running past him and wrapping her small arms around your legs. “You came! See daddy! I told you she’d come.” her tongue pokes out of her mouth, aimed straight at her father and you stifle a laugh.
“Did he think I wouldn’t?” you ask, eyebrow arched as you glance at Namjoon, who seems to have a permanent pink hue on his face.
“He said you wouldn’t!”
“Oh, really? What else did he say?”
“He said I had to help him clean either way!”
“Alright, Dasom. That’s enough.” He says firmly, clearing his throat and trying to act as unaffected as possible. His eyes shift to meet yours. “Why don’t you come inside?”
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As much as this day really sucked for Namjoon, today had been… different. Not all too much. Of course, getting up was the hardest part, but he had decided to make Dasom her favourite breakfast meal instead of her usual cereal. He had also made sure to get her all the toys she had been wanting, and planned their day out to do Dasom’s favourite things. Namjoon just wanted this day to be special for her. That was all he cared about.
But when Dasom had asked him to invite you, he had hesitated.
Dasom had never spent her birthdays with anyone else but Namjoon. Not that it was intentional, but Namjoon liked to have this day just for the both of them. Because that’s how it’s always been. He didn’t know what it was about you that made his daughter talk about you all the time. Or why she wanted to spend a birthday with you. But how could he deny her? And so, the text was sent.
And now, as Namjoon puts away the dishes while you sit on his couch, he realizes he hadn’t thought of her today. Not as much as the years before. Dinner had been so... nice. It felt nice to have someone else around. Namjoon loves Dasom, but he hadn’t realized how distant he had gotten from everything that had once seemed to be the centre of his life.
Namjoon closes the dishwasher, exiting the kitchen and making his way to the living room. He places the two glasses on the table before pouring the dark red liquid.
“I hope you like Merlot.”
“Oh, please. Anything’s fine.”
You take the wine glass, sending him a thank you before taking a drink. “So,” you lean back, “remind me how to play this again.”
“Ms.____ I told you. You have to take a block without knocking the tower over,” Dasom shows you by pushing a middle wooden block out, “then you have to place it on top, like this.'' She places the same block on top of the tower.
“Ah, right! I just need to make sure if I want to win.”
“You can’t! I’m the best!”
“Oh really? And what about you?” you turn, brow raised and eyes playful.
“Pshh,” he scoffs, leaning forward. “Who do you think she takes after?”
He doesn’t think he’s ever lost a game so quickly.
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Namjoon watches as you close Dasom’s door quietly from the hallway before you make your way back to the family room. “She’s out like a light. I guess all that tower building got to her.”
Namjoon snorts. He feels oddly disappointed as he watches you gather your things to go. Was it weird that he wanted you to stay? “Do you need me to get you a ride? I can call Jin to drive you home.”
“No, it’s fine! Really! I already ordered an Uber anyway.” You grab your coat near the door. Before Namjoon can unlock the door, you touch his shoulder. “Listen, thank you for inviting me today. I know you probably wanted to spend this day together instead, but I... “ you inhale, because you aren’t sure of what you want to actually say “thank you.”
Would it be weird to say how much better you made today? Probably. “You don’t… have to thank me. I think I should be the one doing the thanking. I really wanted this day to be special for Dasom and you… you definitely helped. So, thank you.”
The door opens, and the light of the hallway fills his dim flat. “Guess we’re even then.” you smile before turning, making your way to the elevator. Namjoon shuts the door once the sight of you is gone, but the smile on his face remains
“Guess we are.” he whispers wistfully
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Perhaps stopping at a flower vendor when you’re already running late was a bad idea, but Namjoon wasn’t thinking about time. He had seen the bouquet of flowers and imagined the huge smile that would stretch across Dasom’s face, and that was all he needed to swerve into the left lane.
Now, though, as he anxiously watches the cars in front of him move a foot forward after thirty minutes, he’s sure he should have just left the fucking flowers alone.
Namjoon doesn’t know how long he’s been shifting his eyes from the traffic to the watch ticking around his wrist, but by a miracle, the cars start moving. Slowly, then he’s speeding down the highway, praying to the skies above he’ll make it in time. Even if he arrives in the midst of the dance, he can’t miss this recital. He won’t.
He sighs in relief when he sees the familiar glass building, though it’s cut short when he sees the parking lot. No available place in sight. Fuck. Namjoon is sure he looks insane right now, swerving around the parking lot in search for an empty spot, or really just any fucking spot that looks like it could fit his monster of a car.
Then the clouds seem to open up, and right near the entrance is a vacant spot. Namjoon swears his mouth almost waters at the sight. Quickly speeding around the lot, he parks, but not before flipping off the angry parent who tries to beat him to it. Namjoon exits his car, quickly grabbing his coat and the large bouquets of flowers from the backseat. He runs to the entrance, practically throwing the shriveled paper at the ticket clerk.
Namjoon slows as he nears the theatre doors, taking a deep breath before calmly opening it. He had completely forgotten to book seats in advance, so he’s not surprised to see the velvet seats filled to the brim. When he looks to the stage, he’s relieved to see that there’s still time until Dasom comes on.
Now, Namjoon knows he’s not the most… balanced person. It’s common knowledge that he trips over his feet and knocks things over sometimes. (Oh, but definitely more than the average person.) Now, if you were to ask Namjoon if he pays attention to his surroundings, he'd say yes.
But if you were to ask Namjoon what he tripped over, he wouldn’t know. It doesn’t matter, because now there’s a furious mother with a horrendous bob cut glaring at him, and what he thinks to be a broken camcorder on the floor. The only thing he can manage is an awkward smile and an even more awkward apology. Namjoon offers to give her the cost for repairs, hell, even offers to buy her a new one. The woman snatches the bills from his hands but she doesn’t go back to minding her business like he thought she would. No, instead she starts to argue with him, in the middle of her child’s recital, no less!
Namjoon can’t do anything but stare at her as she blabbers on about how horrible he is for throwing her camcorder on the floor. (Not like it had much life left, that thing looked like it was from 2007.) She’s damn near spitting on his face, and causing other parents to turn around and glare at them. As if it was his fault. Who knew she had such an attachment to the damn thing!
A hand lands on his shoulder, and for a second he’s sure it’s security ready to escort him out of the building. But when he turns, he’s surprised to see it’s you. Like an angel had ascended from the clouds to save Namjoon from the wrath of a ballet mom. And just like that, you’re leading him away, taking a seat two rows before the stage. Namjoon’s eyes widen at the sight of the empty seat beside you.
It’s that feeling again, and Namjoon’s palms start to get sweaty as he takes a seat. “Jesus, thank you for that,” he whispers, relishing your quiet laughter that follows.
“Of course. She was probably a blink away from going full-blown Karen on you.” you tease.
“Oh, and that wasn’t?”
“Oh, Joon, you haven’t seen how angry ballet moms can get.” you both laugh, huddled together as if you’re sharing a special secret. It seems so natural. As if this is where he’s supposed to be. So much that Namjoon almost doesn’t catch the nickname, but how could he miss it when you say it just like she used to?
The stage lights darken, and Namjoon is grateful for the excuse to look elsewhere. He’s sure if he would have stared at you for just a bit longer, he would have done something completely and utterly stupid. “This is her.” you whisper, and Namjoon buries the thought away.
A blue hue shines across the stage before the soft melody begins to play, filling the room with the sounds of strings and keys. One by one, tiny swans begin to come into view, prancing around the stage. Namjoon catches sight of Dasom, looking adorable in her white tutu and he can’t help the proud smile that makes its way onto his face. He watches with adoration as she does her pirouettes, and maybe there’s some water overflowing in his eyes as they finish their dance, bowing towards the audience.
You both stand, clapping and cheering the loudest, uncaring of the stares from the snobby rich parents because you’re both too damn proud of Dasom to care. For a moment, Namjoon pretends that it’s different, simpler. That it’s not only his child on stage but yours. Ours. He thinks he likes the sound of that too much.
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Once the show ends, you lead Namjoon backstage where the buzz of dozens of girls talking fills the air. You tell him that you need to check in on the other kids and disappear through a hallway. He spots Dasom quickly, or rather, she spots him.
“Daddy! You came!”
Namjoon lifts Dasom with his free arm, twirling her around before placing a big kiss on her forehead. Her giggles fill him with delight, and he doesn’t care that his cheeks hurt from how hard he’s been smiling. “Of course I came, angel. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
He places her on the ground before he grabs the bouquet of sunflowers from his other arm. The sight of her favourite flower makes Dasom jump with joy. She takes the flowers, and Namjoon silently coos at how much smaller they make her look. Then she spots the other bouquet of flowers in his arm. She scrunches her brows together, about to ask who those are for before her eyes catch something behind Namjoon.
“Ms. ____!”
“Dasom!”
Dasom jumps into your arms, and you laugh at her enthusiasm. “You did so well! I’m so proud of that pirouette!” You twirl her around once her feet hit the ground, smiling as you watch her stumble slightly. Namjoon can’t help but smile too.
“Look what daddy got me, Ms. ____! Look!” Dasom lifts the flowers up, almost shoving them into your face.
“Wow, these are very beautiful, Dasom!”
“Look! He got you some too!” she giggles, and you look at her confusedly then at Namjoon. He sighs, looking pointedly at Dasom despite the cherry hue making its way across his cheeks. She giggles once again before running to her friends. “Dasom!” but it's futile.
If it weren’t for the consistent chatter, Namjoon’s sure there would be an agonizing silence to fill the space between you. You walk closer to him, looking down at your shoes bashfully. “Ah, these-” he takes the bouquet from his arm, “these are for you.”
You looked surprised to say the least. Eyes wide and glassy, your mouth falling ajar. “Wow, uh, really?” you ask, glancing up from the bouquet. He nods shyly.
Listen, he had only planned to buy Dasom her favourite flowers. But then he caught sight of these beautiful yellow roses, tips painted a light amber orange. Somehow they reminded him of you. And the way you had left him with his heart feeling lighter for the first time in years the other night. Maybe it was a way of saying thank you. He’ll admit, he didn’t think it all the way through, but the way you’re smiling at him right now makes him think it wouldn’t have mattered anyway.
There’s a moment where it seems to just be you and him, despite the tons of parents and children running around. He’s only focused on you, and the way your eyes drop to his lips, if only for a millisecond. Namjoon wants to say it. God, he wants to say it so badly. “Listen I… I’ve been meaning to ask you,” his voice fades away as his eyes catch yours. Hopeful. Beautiful. Glimmering.
Just like hers.
“Do you, uh, need a ride home?”
And the bubble bursts.
You step away, looking at anything but him and he hates it. He despises it. He wants you to look at him like that again. He wants nothing more than to pull you back and kiss you senselessly, like his mind is screaming for him to do. But he can’t. He can’t do it for some fucking reason and he almost wants to cry in frustration because why can’t this just be easier? Why is it so hard to move on? You don’t deserve this. You deserve so much better than what he can offer you. And that thought keeps him still.
“Uh, sure.”
Quiet.
Say something, idiot! Tell her what you’ve been dying to say! Just fucking say it!
Namjoon hates himself for the next words that tumble out of his mouth.
“Let’s find Dasom.”
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The drive to your house is just like it was before, except this time there’s no chatter to fill the emptiness. Dasom is sound asleep in the backseat. You've never seemed more distant than now, facing the window, body pressed against the door. You had almost begged to go in the back with Dasom, and Namjoon doesn’t know why he didn’t just let you.
How did it come to this? This wasn’t what he wanted. This night wasn’t supposed to go like this. Everything should have gone differently.
He doesn’t know how he’ll ever fix this. If things will go back to normal. If he completely ruined it. But he’s too afraid to ask. Too afraid to know.
Namjoon has never hated the quiet more.
The sight of your apartment complex fills him with dread. All he can think about is all he wants to say, all he should have said, all he wants to take back. God, Namjoon wishes he could take it back. If only there was a way to turn back the time. Why had he been so afraid to make a move? Why did it hurt so much? But he knows going back wouldn’t help. Not when he doesn’t know if he would have done it differently.
His car comes to a stop, and the doors unlock. He faintly catches the small thank you before the passenger door slams shut. Namjoon watches as you make your way up the pathway, feet moving briskly and it feels like he’s watching you walk away from him.
You’re shuffling through your bag, looking for your key. And fuck, is he really just going to this go?  Is he that stubborn that he can’t see past himself? He can’t. He can’t let you go. Not like this.
Well do something, dumbass!
The door of his car is thrown open, and before he can overthink it-
“____!”
You still. You turn.
Namjoon shuts the door. He walks up the steps and stops a few feet away from you, but he feels like he’s miles away. You look up at him, questioning. Your eyes aren’t the same ones. Not like you looked at him before. Yet they’re still warm. Inviting. Namjoon is tongue-tied, and all those words he wanted to say are gone now.
“Are we… good?”
“Why wouldn’t we be?”
“I just…” he scratches the back of his neck. “That moment back at the recital. I… I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” you say, simply. When he looks at you, he can’t tell what you’re feeling. You’ve blocked him off. “Namjoon, really. It’s fine.”
But is it really? He wants to ask. But he doesn’t. It’s quiet again, this time the sound of the wind rustling the browning leaves above filling the space. Still.
“I… god, I don’t know why this is so hard. Ever since, you know,” you don’t. “I… I didn’t think I'd ever get an opportunity to…” he inhales, unsure of what he wants to say first.
“I just feel like I ruined it so carelessly.”
You don’t say anything for a few moments. You only stare at him, really stare at him. Like you can see through his mirage, through the walls he’s spent so long building up. You’re taking it all, but there’s nothing he can take back from you.
“You didn’t.” you whisper it so quietly, Namjoon would have thought his mind had taken pity on him. But a smile slips onto your face. Unlike the other ones. It doesn’t fill him with joy. It doesn’t give him butterflies. This one hurts.
And he knows you’re telling the truth.
“This… It might take a while.”
The wind picks up. The leaves rustle. The cold, biting.
“That’s ok. I’ll wait as long as you need me to.”
Your lips are bittersweet on his tongue.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN TO KARLA !! ILYYYY <3
317 notes · View notes
ggyutea · 3 years
Text
into the aether // jjk [CHAPTER ONE]
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pairing: agent!jungkook x agent!reader
genre: not-so-secret organization au, rivals to lovers au, sci-fi, action, slow burn, mutual pining, future mystery 👀, eventual fluff, eventual smut (probably), teeny bit of future angst
word count: 4.4k
summary: As a rookie member of an organization that deals in investigating and neutralizing paranormal and extraterrestrial threats, you get assigned to your very first case with Jeon Jungkook as your partner, a former classmate you’ve never been too fond of.  But what happens when your supposed low-tier rookie case begins to unravel into something more serious than anyone anticipated?  And, more importantly, how do you come to terms with your growing feelings for Jungkook?
contents: jungkook being a little shit, y/n is a bisexual disaster, the tension is real honestly, female!namjoon, long haired Kook, mild info-dumping for context
warnings: mild cursing
a/n: behold, my first posted fic! i have absolutely no idea how long this series will be but i’m super excited about it!!  i hope anyone who happens to come across this enjoys it :))
previous || masterlist || next
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The agency-issued suit is surprisingly comfortable.  Form-fitting without being tight, the dress slacks and jacket cling softly to your body as you adjust your badge before entering your new workplace.  Taking a deep breath as you push open the double doors of the Aether Headquarters, you are greeted by the sight of many bustling individuals, all dressed in suits identical to the one currently adorning your body.  A potent mix of excitement and nerves light up your veins as you take in the sight, the moment almost surreal.  
Your heels click across the linoleum floor as you begin to make your way through the massive atrium to the semi-circular elevator.  You check and double check your badge for your assignment details, noting in relief when you realize that you haven’t already forgotten them.  Floor 7, Division S01.  Floor 7, Division S01, you repeat over and over again, a mantra of sorts.  Beginning at a brisk pace, you inevitably slow as you take in the sights of the cavernous space.  Massive glass windows stretch high towards the ceiling on every wall, letting in beams of early morning sunlight that cast a warm glow over everything they touch.  Two large LED screens are affixed on either side of the main elevator across the way, one showcasing a map of the city, the other a map of the country, with all of the paranormal and extraterrestrial hotspots highlighted in bright red pulsing circles.   A small cafe sits nestled in a corner to your left, baristas rushing around frantically in the midst of the morning rush.  A circular desk occupies the center of the room, currently manned by two individuals as they supervise the row of turnstile doors on either side.  Agents stand lined up in front of the doors, some impatiently checking their watches as they wait for the people in front of them to swipe in, others leisurely sipping their coffee.  
You’re reminded that in your haste this morning, you forgot to make yourself coffee, so before you join the agents at the doors, you cheerily purchase your own steaming cup of liquid energy.  You’re not sure if you really need it, with all of the adrenaline rushing through your system, but you figure it can’t hurt.  Sure enough, the warmth of the drink floods your body with a sense of ease, and you can’t help the smile that overtakes your face as you swipe your badge, watching the light on the console turn green as an automated voice says, “Welcome, Agent Y/n.”  Continuing your path towards the elevator, you note with glee an approaching directory indicating that the library and research facilities are to your right, with the short-term containment facilities lying to your left.  Of course, you have learned about all of this in your four years of training, but learning about the immensity of the resources available in the Aether Headquarters and actually seeing them and experiencing them are two completely different things.  You make a mental note to check out the library before the day is over as you enter an elevator car with several other agents.
The electricity in your veins feels nearly tangible as you ascend to your dream.  You note with an amused quirk of your lips that your internal energy seems a stark contrast to the yawns and sleepy gazes of the rest of the elevator.  The 7th floor arrives in the blink of an eye, and you excuse yourself as you weave past a couple agents to exit the car.  After a short navigation of the floor thanks to the clearly labeled and numbered signs, you finally approach the door to your division.  Pronounced in bold, simple characters, the division code ‘S01’ stares at you from the door as you regard it, a slight lump forming in your throat as you take one last sip of your coffee.  Thoughts fly through your head as you go through your mental checklist.  Supervisor = Agent Kim Namjoo.  Your hand is on the shiny chrome door handle.  Mixed division.  You’re turning it slowly.  Potential for other recent graduates to be working here.  Before you know it, the door is swinging open and-- “Ah!”  You’re suddenly met with the startled yelp of a young woman, causing you to flinch as it snaps you out of your reverie.  
The woman chuckles as she brings a hand to adjust her glasses, face quickly smoothing into a sweetly dimpled smile as she looks at you.  “I am so sorry,” she begins upon seeing your startled expression, “you caught me totally off guard.”  She laughs lightly.  “I don’t believe we’ve met!  You must be Agent Y/n.  I’m your supervisor, Agent Kim.”  She extends her hand to you as you blush, blurting out an apology before reaching out your own hand.  “Sorry we couldn’t have met under more formal circumstances, but it’s really no problem as my office is right here anyway,” she explains, gesturing to a door to her right.  
“Nice to meet you, Agent Kim!  I’m really very excited to be here,” you let out a soft chuckle as you begin to regain your composure.  Agent Kim flashes you another gorgeous smile that puts you immediately at ease.  
“I’m so happy to hear that, Agent.  If you wouldn’t mind following me into my office?”  She begins making her way towards her office door.  You quickly oblige, stepping into your supervisor’s spacious office.  Agent Kim takes a seat promptly behind her desk, motioning for you to have a seat across from her.  
“Hold on just one second.”  Your supervisor begins typing away at the keyboard of one of her two computers and you take the brief moment to admire the immaculately trimmed bonsai tree perched next to her.  However, your gaze quickly turns back to your supervisor as you can’t help but acknowledge how absolutely gorgeous she is.  Her skin has all the warmth of the first golden hues of a sunrise.  Brunette hair tied back elegantly, a few strands escape to frame the elegant slope of her face.  Her jawline is pronounced without being too sharp, culminating in the graceful point of her chin.  You flush slightly at your thoughts, mentally scolding yourself.  Great.  First day of work and you’re already simping over your boss.  It’s not your fault you’ve had such a wonderful first impression of her.  Everything about her presence immediately calms your racing heart and soothes any apprehensive thoughts that had crossed your mind on your journey into S01.
“Alright,” Agent Kim removes something from a desk drawer before setting it on the desktop and turning her attention towards you.  “First and foremost, welcome to Division S01!  Like I said, I’m your supervisor, Agent Kim.  This is a mixed division, which I’m sure you’re already aware of as it seems you specifically requested it.”  
You nod.  In the Aether, there are generally three types of divisions that field agents work in.  Each is composed of agents of all levels, from rookies like yourself to seasoned veterans.  Some divisions are dedicated entirely to the more peaceful reports from around the city that are generally non-violent and consist of relatively minor disturbances.  Nothing too serious, but due to their nature, these divisions see a lot of cases on the daily.  In your time at the Academy, you’d interned on a few of these types of cases, one of them involving the containment of an alien squid horde that was interfering with the local fishing economy.  Other divisions deal with the more intense, higher-magnitude cases.  Often violent, these investigations require collaboration from multiple agents throughout the division as they look into paranormal serial murder, shape-shifting extraterrestrial identity theft, and the like.  Divisions like yours, S01, are a hybrid.  They get the best of both worlds and are well suited for agents who are capable of handling everything across the board, and, more importantly, for agents who want to take on that kind of responsibility.  Since you graduated at such a high class rank at the Academy, you had no problem securing a spot in a mixed division such as this one.
“Now,” your supervisor picks up the item she had previously pulled from her desk.  “This is your tablet.”  She slides the device over to you.  “All of your assignments and case files will be sent to you through this, and you’ll have access to a limited virtual library via our digital databases if you find yourself needing that kind of resource.  Of course, you’ll use your agency-issued ID to login and it’ll give you full access!”  She beams as you hold the tablet in your hands.  “Your first assignment has already been sent to you, it looks like…” she trails off, turning to glance at her computer monitor.  Your heart starts picking up again.  You are literally holding your very first professional case in your hands!  
“Do you know what level it is, or who I’ll be working with?”  You can’t help the questions that bubble from your mouth.  Agent Kim shakes her head.
“Unfortunately, that information comes from higher up, so until you open the file yourself I have no way of knowing the details of your field assignment,” she says with a shrug.  Your stomach twists in anticipation, and you’re tempted to unlock your tablet and read through the entire assignment right then and there.
“Alright,” you say with a tentative smile.  Agent Kim returns your expression.
“Now, do you have any questions before I show you to your office?”  Her eyebrows lift as she looks at you expectantly.  “Don’t be timid, I know I had plenty of questions when I became an official agent, but I have found that the Academy really does a spectacular job preparing agents for the field.”
“I do have a question, actually.”  Agent Kim’s face immediately brightens.  “Are there any other recent Academy grads other than myself assigned to this division?”  You’re already aware that your closest friends from the Academy, Yubin and Jeongin, are stationed in different divisions, but you’re dying to know if anyone you recognize from your class at the Academy are in S01.  
“Ah, yes.  I figured you’d ask eventually.  Agent Jeong Jaehyun has been here for about a week now, and Agent Jeon Jungkook started yesterday morning.  They were both listed as having graduated with your class.”
You stiffen as soon as the name ‘Jeon Jungkook’ leaves her mouth.  You aren’t very familiar with Jaehyun, but Jungkook…  That’s a name you’ll never forget.  Top of your class at the Academy, teacher’s pet, fuckboy, irritatingly pretty Jungkook.
“Oh!” you squeeze out through gritted teeth and a tense jaw.  “Good to know!  Thank you, Agent Kim.”
“Of course,” she replies with her warm smile that almost eases the growing knot in your stomach.  “Would you care to see your office now?”
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Your office isn’t huge, but it’s certainly functional.  A large sleek metal desk occupies the bulk of the room, with an equally sleek office chair to match.  You silently hope that it swivels.  Apart from the desk and chair, a filing cabinet stands tall in the corner, in addition to a floor lamp.  Another lamp sits perched on your desk beside two computer monitors and a telephone.  A screen nearly identical to, albeit smaller than, the ones mounted in the atrium sits above your desk, the blue and red graphics of your city adding a touch of color not unwelcome in the otherwise very neutral room.  Immediately, you begin considering ways to add your own personal touch to your workspace, inspired by Agent Kim’s bonsai tree.
Agent Kim explains the presence of dual computers, indicating that one is strictly for classified research purposes and details regarding any cases the agency might want to keep more under wraps than others, so to speak.  “The screen,” she adds, gesturing to the wall, “can be used for any video conferences, calls, and the like within the Headquarters and nationwide, as well as providing the same information as the screens--I’m sure you noticed them--in the atrium.”
You nod as she continues to talk, all the while setting your bag on your desk and beginning to unpack your few personal belongings, including your diploma from the Academy.
“I suppose that’s about all you need to know about your office for the time being,” Agent Kim says after reinforcing that your agency ID will be your key to accessing your electronics.  “Go ahead and start getting yourself settled, Agent Y/n.  Agents Kang and Choi should be in the offices directly adjacent to you…” she trails off, seemingly trying to recall if those are the correct agents.  “Anyway,” she claps her hands together, “If you have any questions, well, you know where to find me!  Let me know if you need anything at all.  I mean it.”  Agent Kim once again gives you that calming smile.  Her smile brings you a type of comfort you can’t quite explain, and you honestly couldn’t be happier with your supervisor so far.  She’s warm and inviting, intelligent, beautiful, with an air about her that simply exudes leadership and command.  
“Thank you, Agent Kim,” you match her smile.
With an amiable wave, she heads out.  Your thoughts very quickly turn back to your assignment, and you scramble to sit at your office chair, which does in fact swivel, much to your delight, agency tablet grasped tightly in your hands.  Questions race through your mind at the sight of the black mirrored surface, knowing what lies behind the locked screen.  You figure the case will probably be something low-profile, as you are brand-new, but you really hope that it’s something more advanced  You did graduate close to the top of your class... which brings your mind back to Jeon Jungkook.  He had the honors of graduating first, and you’ll never forget that fact.  You wonder what he’s been assigned, if it’s a more advanced case than is typical for rookie agents.  You probably don’t want to know, however; it’ll only make you more upset if your assignment is comparatively mundane.  At least you can rest in peace knowing that as a newbie, you’ll probably be paired with a more senior officer, and, with all of the agents who work in this division, the odds of running into Jungkook on a case are relatively slim.  You hoped that after you graduated you’d never have to cross paths again, but alas, here you are.  You sigh and run your fingers through your hair before focusing your attention back on the excitement of being here, your future literally in your hands.  The closest you’ve ever been.
Finally unlocking the tablet, you’re greeted by a relatively simple interface that allows you to very easily navigate to your newly received assignment.  The small folder icon sits amidst a sea of other completely unassuming icons, the tiny graphic completely unaware about the significance of its appearance to you.  You open the file, trying to empty your mind of any expectations, and then… your heart sinks.  At the very top of the document, next to your own, who else’s name do you see but Jeon Jungkook.  Well, fuck.
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You spend the better part of the next hour contemplating whether you should read the file by yourself or get your shit together and go track down Jungkook’s office so you can go over it together.  Eventually, you settle for a quick skim, though the words barely stick in your mind as you find yourself somewhat preoccupied with thoughts about your partner.  How are you supposed to work with him?  You certainly don’t hate him, but you’ve always had your disagreements.  And you’ll never forgive him for taking your spot in the class, not to mention breaking your best friend’s heart.  
After absorbing as much information as your distracted mind can handle, which consists of a jumbled mass of something about a flower shop and floating objects, your rational professional brain gets the best of you, and you head to your supervisor’s office to inquire about the location of Jungkook’s--Agent Jeon’s--office.  You have a job to do, and as much as you’re dreading facing Jungkook, you’ll get the job done, and you’ll get it done well.  Just as you always have.  And though you can’t stand Jungkook, he’s not useless.
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You approach the doorway to Jungkook’s office, finding the door already ajar, before stopping to lean against the doorframe, crossing your arms with your tablet clasped in one hand.  Jungkook is currently intently focused on one of his computer screens, face tense in concentration, chewing lightly on his lower lip.  Tie hanging loose around his neck, the top few buttons of his dress shirt undone, jacket foregone, sleeves rolled up to his elbows with his long slightly wavy hair dangling in his eyes… yep.  That’s Jungkook.  You clear your throat and give a small knock on the threshold.  Jungkook immediately shoots up.  “Y/n!” He exclaims, eyebrows lifted, a goofy smile toying on his face.  You resist the urge to roll your eyes.  “Sorry,” he clears his throat, “I mean- Agent Y/N,” he says, face growing serious as he emphasizes ‘Agent’.  “So,” he folds his hands dramatically on top of his desk.  “What can I do for you?”  You enter the room at last, mouth pursed in a firm line. “Agent Jeon,” you begin, taking a seat across from him.  “It appears as though we have been paired together for our first assignment.”  
“Oh, that’s right!  I saw that. I already read the whole file. Simple stuff.”  His hands are still perched steepled on top of his desk.
You gawk before realizing that of course he had gotten the file first; he’s been here since yesterday, and you figure that there was probably a fair amount of sucking up going on mixed in with, apparently, file reading.  “You...already read the whole file?  Were you ever going to come find me about it?”  It’s about mid-morning at this point, pushing towards noon, and most agents are already well into their work days.  You wonder what Jungkook has been up to all day if not coming to find you, but you suppose you can’t complain.  Reading Jungkook’s name on your assignment with an hour to process that information before actually seeing him is a far better scenario than him randomly showing up at your office expecting you to work with him.
He shrugs.  “I figured you’d come to me first once you found out about it and got settled.  I asked her about you and she told me you’d be here today.  I’ve been busy, and besides, it’s not like it’s a top priority case.”
How can he be so nonchalant about everything all the time while still managing to kiss nearly everyone’s ass?  And what the hell has he been busy with?  You smooth your hair back as you take a deep breath, mentally steeling yourself so as not to go off on Jungkook on your first day of work.  No doubt, you’re still harboring several grudges from the Academy, but you’re a professional now.  A professional.  What a way to start your dream job.
“For future reference, if necessary, I would prefer that we go over the file together in detail first. This isn’t the Academy anymore, Agent Jeon. These are real people dealing with real problems and I’d like to be on the same page as much as possible at every given moment.  Even if the case isn’t ‘top-priority.’”
Jungkook has been like this for about as long as you’ve known him, and although you are mere acquaintances, albeit rivals of a sort, everyone in your class at the academy was well-aware of Jeon “The Golden Boy” Jungkook’s disposition and ass-kissing tendencies.  Top of your class, he always managed the best possible marks while seemingly caring about his work as little as possible.  Showing his face at every party, event, club--you name it--available to him, you have no idea how he managed to get along as well as he did and continues to do.  You suppose it’s probably due to his incredible charm, and some suspiciously large quantity of natural talent, not to mention his good looks.  You may dislike him, but you aren’t blind.  Naturally, his success always bugged you, as you constantly worked your ass off.  Always trailing behind him, never quite catching up, like a dog chasing its own tail, you graduated second in your class.  Years of hard work and careful studying, focusing nearly all of your attention on taking every possible opportunity available to advance your standing, was evidently not enough to best The Golden Boy.  You always got the feeling he wasn’t too fond of you either, not that you really care.  I guess the universe has a strange way of torturing you by assigning you two to the same division in the Aether.
“Noted.”  Jungkook nods.  
“What were you so ‘busy’ with anyway?”  You can’t help yourself.
Jungkook shifts uncomfortably, eyes shifting away from yours.  “It doesn’t matter, Agent Y/n.  Sorry I didn’t come get you earlier,” he says before clearing his throat, eyes meeting yours once more.  You decide to let the matter go.  Work awaits.
“Very well, Agent,” you say, eyeing him curiously.  “Now, if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to go over the contents of the file with you so we both know what’s going on and we can go forward from there.”  You put every effort of your being into injecting nothing but professionalism into your voice, even managing a small, tight smile.
“Fair enough,” he replies as you scoot forward in your chair and unlock your tablet as Jungkook does the same.  Upon closer inspection of the document than earlier, you glean that the report comes from a Mr. Kim Seokjin who apparently owns a flower shop called Worldwide Bouquet downtown.  He claims that his bouquets are disassembling themselves overnight which, understandably, is negatively affecting his business.  He reports instances of his materials floating out of his reach, flowers being flung about his workspace, and the resulting frustration.  Jungkook taps his fingers on the table as you scan the screen, one hand lazily scrolling through his own tablet.
“Sounds like some sort of sprig,” you mutter after perusing the report.  Sprigs are one of the more docile paranormal creatures you’ve studied, typically materializing out of the playful spirit of a child.  As a result, these spirits are typically very mischievous without malicious intent.  Some have telekinetic abilities, some illusory capabilities and the like, but all in all, they are generally fairly easy to take care of and contain until their energy eventually dissipates into the atmosphere.  At least, the Academy had taught you as much.
“That’s what I was thinking,” Jungkook offers.  “A telekinetic one, most likely.  Should be a quick job.”
You nod, slightly disappointed that you weren't going to be dealing with something a bit more exciting than a simple sprig, let alone dealing with it with Jungkook.  The Aether probably isn’t too fond of handing off the more sensitive cases to newbies, even if you and Jungkook more than proved yourselves in the Academy.  Too bad there isn’t too much about the case to actually discuss.  You feel a bit foolish for making such a big deal about Jungkook not coming to you after he originally read the file as you feel your shoulders slump ever so slightly.
“See?  Not top-priority,” Jungkook smirks.  “You didn’t think they’d really give us something important for our first case, did you?”
“Am I really that obvious?”
“Yep.”
“I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been hoping for something more, but it’s all important work Agent Jeon.”  Besides, if you manage to execute this mission perfectly, considering working with Jungkook proves to be manageable, you’d hope that your next case will be of significantly higher status.
“Of course,” Agent Jeon says, tucking a stray strand of inky hair behind his ear.  “The super important case of the floating flowers,” he snorts.  
You scoff.  “Can’t you take something seriously for once in your goddamn life, Agent Jeon?  I will literally never understand how you managed as well as you did in the Academy.”  Grabbing your tablet in preparation to leave and shaking your head, you stand up.  Jungkook sits unbothered.
“Apparently not,” he retorts, folding his arms across his broad chest.
“Since you seem so blatantly disinterested in this case, I’ll just take care of it myself,” you huff.  “Go back to whatever you were so busy with before, Agent.”
“Agent Y/n, we both know you can’t do that.”
He’s right.  If you execute the mission by yourself without Agent Jeon, it wouldn’t reflect well on either of you, and you can’t risk compromising your image this early in your career.  Especially if it meant you’d be stuck investigating nothing but sprigs for the next ten years.
A long sigh escapes you as you shoot a glare at Jungkook before sitting back down across from him.  You force the fakest smile you think you’ve ever conjured.
“We’re going to stop by Mr. Kim’s later today to get the initial visit out of the way, okay Agent?”  Your voice is thick with mock sweetness.  “3:00, my office.  I’ll be calling Mr. Kim and letting him know we’ll be checking in, kay?”  
“Sounds great, Agent.” Jungkook returns your phony expression.  
You stand up once more, this time with the full intention of actually leaving.  “It was a pleasure, as always, Agent Jeon.”  You straighten your jacket with one hand before promptly exiting, not bothering to close the door behind you.  The last thing you hear is a prolonged, exasperated exhale.  That makes two of us, you muse to yourself.
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Upon returning to your office, you slump down in your chair, mind spinning with the incredulity of what just happened.  You’re not sure at all how you’re going to manage working with Jungkook, especially since he seems so hellbent on being as difficult as possible.  This is exactly what you were afraid of.  The feeling, however, is probably mutual, so all you need to do is get through this.  Hopefully after this you’ll never have to man a case with him again, even if you are still stuck in the same division.  
Encouraged by that sentiment, swiveling ever so slightly back and forth in your chair, you manage to boost your mood just enough to finally be able to pick up the phone to call Mr. Kim.
Well, you sigh inwardly.  This should be interesting.
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coffeeteaitsallfine · 3 years
Text
ok.... it’s Vampire Boyfriend, Live Free or TwiHard time
(disclaimer i dont actually really talk about S6x05 live free or twihard, it just sounded catchy)
No, Castiel is not the archetypical vampire boyfriend but he is a very Edward vampire boyfriend-- Seasons 6 - 8 in nice little arc. No, he is not lustful (just in subtext). S6-8 (& a lil before that) Cas is heavily the outcast. He is not impure traditionally (until he gets those leviathans!! sick ahaha sera!!!!!fightme) but he does have a crack in his chassis. Cas doesn’t think about sex the way humans do but it’s not really about that. Human feelings let alone feelings for humans are sinful (hellooo nephillims being abominations) they’re just “mud-monkeys.” To the angels, Castiel’s love for humans is worth giving him lobotomies over and over. Falling in love with one is the worst sin (“the very touch of you corrupts [Castiel]”). He is thus outcasted! (this was all written pre-s12 so go with it)
Now, in twilight the sex subtext isn’t subtext, it’s repressed because this is a good little Christian novel of course. Edward the vampire is constantly repressing his thirst and they’re only able to be together with ease once they’re on equal footing. I’ve reread it just this year. It’s repressed and not just in Eclipse when he won’t have sex with her. Bella CLEARLY has a sex dream and Edward knows about it but they don’t talk about it. Anyway, the text is the whole “I’m a killer bella” not blood drinking though. He is repressing that so it’s under control. NO no Edward is a danger magnet literally just crushing her with strength or luring other people to kill her. Castiel’s violence pre-s6 anyway is framed as holy and because heaven commanded it, but the slaughtering of angels for no good reason? unforgiveable. Cas doesn’t tempt dean in any lustful way but just the fact that he’s Gay and in love is already too obvious subtext as it is thanks to S4-5, bringing sex appeal or tempting imagery here would be too obvious or overdoing it i guess and works for us so it doen’t come off as predatory I don’t think. Meanwhile for the proxy Meg Castiel is the pizza man. (whereas s9′s answer to that is...nah he’s the babysitter apparently lol ? lets not read into it). Note as I’m editing: Eve literally eve is a character is S6? I forgot this but oh my god make it stop.
Then in S7 Cas is all “I deserved to die” because he killed a lot of angels and bad people as Godstiel (hello eddie boy’s serial killer murder streak if you didn’t pick up on this yet). Then, obviously, he is not even deserving of LOVE he’ll just hurt everything and everyone around and probably dean too. Cue the early S8 New Moon subplot culminating in fallen angels because we all know the third ingredient for the spell that would expel angels from societyheaven and lock the door behind them, was an angel falling love with a human. At the same time, his angel grace is taken away from him, making him a human no longer “pure” or without sin in the eyes of heaven like adam. the first to fall causing all the angels to fall with him.
Now this doesn’t quite work the same way for dean from dean’s perspective cause why would it. He’s not the Laura/Lucy to Castiel’s Carmilla/Dracula. (This makes Benny’s placement in Purgatory for the love triangle (literally) so in contrast like Benny IS this story’s Jacob) He’s not scandalized by the prospect of falling love. He’s got complicated emotions & thoughts is scared to for vulnerability reasons plus his own sexuality issues but I beg you to see that as separate and not over think it-- Twilight is very repressed, Dean is extremely repressed, poor Cas. But! Dean feels completely “pure” in purgatory & wants nothing more than to find the angel the entire time. He is Bella Swan thinking the killer/monster is an Angel (see: Twilight Ch. 23 “The Angel”), the only angel. All the other angels (vampires) are evil dicks but not my angel :) Mine is powerful, strong, psychic, and sexy. he’s beautiful and perfect and will never love me the way i love him unless we are the same species, equals if you will. 
Castiel is the vampire boyfriend, but not in the old, traditional way rather in the inevitably “modern” (2000s--early 2010s) take, where the vampire isn’t preying upon your sexual purity but the wholesome family ideal (ie lisa/ben, raking those leaves, the cookouts ah yes how american)....ehh yikes sera gamble? s6 reeks of homophobia thanks, thanks a lot. Except well, also, dean doesn’t really want that life not entirely. Neither did bella either tbh until the end but lets not get into that, except twilight is the “wholesome” ending, the opposite in every way to traditionally evil (lol ykwim...) vampires. The show eventually moves into a middle space, a synthesis of horror and home-- where it should’ve ended as we all know. Anyway, while writing this I remembered the beginning of Season 6, when the modern version of the vampire boyfriend arc kicks in, was also when they had the episode “Live Free or TwiHard.” Is this coincidence? probably, maybe, idk. I started this post just wanting to make casward parallels cause it sounded right and I’m a deancas/bellaedward truther for the Jokes, a Good Time, and the hot takes. 
except no, with Carver finishing up S8 (bookending the arc nicely with the two gay truckers being soulmates), Benny is the old world would be tragic vampire boyfriend and they couldn’t last! Sorry benny it’s been real. Castiel is the modern twilight vampire boyfriend, without predatory vibes and since religion is more of a plot device than a theme, less Mormonism and heteronormativity. Plus this reading is just sexy and cool and I like to have fun 
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helloalexy-smile · 3 years
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riverdale, jeronica teachers
inspired by @mydairjeronica’s teacher screenshots~ As Riverdale starts it’s early morning, the fog begins to fade over Sweetwater and birds begin to chirp their way through the fall semester at Riverdale High. We see the now quiet and Ghoulie-free streets start to glisten lightly from the dew, and a bright and gleaming Archie Andrews and glowing Betty Cooper stop from a light jog in front of the Cooper home. They both smiled at each other, refreshed from the run but also glowing from being with each other yet again in secret by the river.
“That was a nice run,” Archie smiles, his light breaths peeking through as he couldn’t hide his content from being with Betty again.
“Arch, I gotta get inside, but meet me after? Maybe we can walk--”
“Jug is staying with me, he came over last night and needed a place to crash.”
Betty instantly changed her tone, taken back by the fact she forgot that they were seeing each other in secret. Archie’s staggered breaths broke their hesitation and they both let out an awkward chuckle. 
“Maybe tonight we can… meet up for a plan?” she suggested, her eyes meeting his as he nodded lightly.
This would be the first day that the four horsemen have returned to Riverdale High as both alumni and faculty at the school, and an early start began with Jughead brushing his teeth, still hungover after his last shift at Pops’ and a rough night writing at the new Whyte Worm as well as moving into the Andrews’ home.
As he sleepily washes his face and groans, he hears Archie coming back in and sighs, yelling from the bathroom: “you’re not in the military anymore, ya’ know!” Archie lets out a light laugh and replies, “hurry up! We’ll be late!”
At the Pembrooke, Veronica eats her breakfast, finishing her coffee and listening to the latest Financial commentators for any breaking news in the market. Smithers comes into the dining room with a package.
“Miss Veronica, a package from… your husband has arrived.” he said, his voice ringing of a dread for his concern regarding her hovering partner.
“Thank you, Smithers. You can just leave that there, I’m not planning to open it.” she said, her eyes hidden behind her reading glasses as she focused on her notes for her first class.
“Will you need me to drive you?” he asked, concerned about the meaning behind the package.
“No, Smithers, I think a nice walk through the town will be nice before I sit in a classroom all day.”
---
Betty, Archie, and Jughead rush into the halls at Riverdale High, a school flooded with new faces and full of a fresh new start. As Archie makes his way to the gym, he and Betty take a second before they part.
“Should we-”
“We should-”
They laugh at their newfound awkwardness in public, unsure of what to do or say next since it was fresh and held no expectation.
Jughead rushed into his new classroom, stopping for a second to admire the nameplate Kevin made for him, and grabbing a piece of chalk to get his first author’s name on the board.
Students begin rushing in, the bell ringing, and he already hears the class clowns making their way to the back, his sigh releasing past memories along with it.
“Okay, everyone! My name is…”
A group of wide-eyed students sat in front of him, none of them aware that he was now a published author and he had sat in one of those seats just 7 years before them.
“Mister… Jones -- I’ll be your new English Lit teacher… and today we’re starting off with one of the greats…”
Some students rolled their eyes, the others sighed, and some began to chuckle at the awkward pauses and rushing Jughead spoke with.
“John... Steinbeck.”
He could tell it was about to be a long day.
---
Veronica strolled through the town, wanting to see for herself how the businesses looked, her eyes narrowing as she caught Reggie driving a car past her to Riverdale High, the bell already ringing. She made her way to Pops’ walking in and finding her way to Tabitha.
“Good morning, Miss Tate,” she exclaimed, her smile charming Tabitha as her curiosity sat on the tip of her tongue, “I have a favor to ask of you.”
“Does that favor have money involved?” Tabitha replied, her smile radiating back to Veronica’s, the two on the same wavelength.
“Are you able to save that booth for 5 of us this afternoon? We’re gonna need shakes and burgers to tag along.” she chimed, and Tabitha smiled through and through.
“If business isn’t booming, that booth is all yours. You may need to put a deposit down-”
Veronica winked, passing a bill to Tabs, strolling her way out and towards the school.
--
Passing through the hall, she heard the bell ring for the 2nd period and the call for her first class. She made her way around the corner and remembered when Kevin and Betty toured her through the school and smiled lightly.
After a bustle of students rushed past her, she stopped abruptly, her eyes catching Jughead rustling through his hair, and Steinbeck written largely across the board behind him. His glasses caught a glare from the light of the window as he leaned over his desk. He looked stressed, maybe - hungover?
“Oooh, Steinbeck…” she joked, catching his eye quickly as she leaned against his open door frame in her green top and black pencil skirt. “East of Eden… a story of good and evil, Cain and Abel…”
Jughead smiled, amused he asked, “You know Steinbeck?”
Her smile faded softly as he picked up one of his handouts and disappointingly mumbled, “Apparently, he’s written some of the most boring books in the last century.”
“Well, I think it’s a good pick.” she said confidently, winking at him as she backed away slowly and began to make her way out into the hall. 
Jughead knew they had not been close, but it was nice to see a familiar face in a way, having his other two friends close but so far away.
---
Later that evening at Pops’, Jughead and Veronica sat across from each other in silence. In exchange for chocolate milkshakes, the two had coffees, and instead of words they both typed away at laptops. Having waited for hours for the other three (Betty, Toni, and Archie), the two were left to their own devices - literally.
“So, about Steinbeck…” he said, hesitating, but realizing there wasn’t much to talk about, even though he enjoyed the company in a way.
Veronica looked up at Jughead through her reading glasses, as he stared into his screen - pretending to avoid the conversation he started.
“Quiz me.” she teased.
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Text
snow crash - neal stephenson
my playlist (because of The Way That I Am)
final thoughts:
okay, im going to be honest right out of the gate- i cant decide whether this is a book id recommend or not. it was really fun for the most part, but personally there was a lot more exposition than id like. the early portions of the novel have exposition which feels completely fair, mostly things relating to worldbuilding. stephenson creates his own vision of future america, and some places online referred to it as cyberpunk, and some as post-cyberpunk. id be more in the latter camp, mostly due to the way he plays with tropes, leaving the reader unsure of which will be subverted and which wont.
the use of language was really fun, and i enjoyed the worldbuilding a lot. his vision of a futuristic capitalistic earth feels surreal in its immediacy and recognizability. the back jacket blurb ends with "a future america so bizarre, so outrageous, you'll recognize it immediately." which, yeah. a texan info-tech magnate? two competing corporations owning the highway system? suburban city-states? this was another enjoyable thing- everything was colorfully named, and names treated totally normally, which kind of poked fun at how we have everyday things named very ludicrously and for the most part we are totally blind to it.
one aspect i really enjoyed was that the author often doesn't make certain things clear to the audience, until he does, and then it becomes necessary to reassess the entire story and setting. this goes to underscore the theme of the importance of information and the ways we take it in and perceive the world based upon it. for example, we don't learn that y.t. is fifteen until maybe 75 pages in, at which point a lot makes sense in retrospect. the same thing occurs in the worldbuilding, as suddenly a detail is given in passing and the reader must incorporate it into the setting, which by default we assume to be similar in many ways to our idea of america. it keeps the reader on their toes as well as furthering the worldbuilding. for the most part, the tech stuff didnt feel outdated to me, despite being a future projected out from '92.
however, aspects of the book are definitely very 1992. id put these into two camps: the first, being that the book does at different times use slurs. the main character is black and asian, the n word is used a few times by racist side-character/antagonist types, as are a few other racial slurs. there was also the occasional usage of the r slur, within the narrative prose itself, rather than usage as an insult within dialogue.
the protagonist, who is named, unfortunately, hiro protagonist, is a great character and felt very fleshed out to me, though at times he reminded me more of dirk strider than normally would be ideal. (its obvious that stephenson and andrew hussie are of a similar type of writer, and play with similar tropes, lmao.) hiro is a man of many worlds. he seems to shift between them easily, though never fully existing in any of them. this is reflected in his background, both in his biracial identity and in having been raised on a myriad of army bases. this is layered further in his fluidity in interacting with both reality and the metaverse, yet remaining slightly, consistently aloof. fascinatingly the first moment i sensed this drop was when we meet juanita- aka where his real and meta realities coincide. the description of them as the adam and eve of the metaverse is both insanely romantic and thematically key (good god i wish we had more than like, two conversations between them). juanita designed the facial component to metaverse avatars, doing the majority of this work when the two were together, and hiro can see echoes of both their facial tics in the face of every avatar in the metaverse. in a way, by having done this work juanita is positioned by the narrative as one of the gods of this digital realm. she is also hiro's call to action, being aware of the coming trouble and alerting him to it, as well as connecting him to the informational database he needs to prepare.
y.t., the secondary protagonist, fucking ruled. i loved that she was just a fifteen year old punkass kid whose mom doesnt know how crazy this part time job is. y.t. being worried about her mom was a great thread throughout, and a really good balance to how obviously independent y.t. is. i do wish there had been a chance to explain more about her background (she has a dad who left who is mentioned in a throwaway sentence, and a boyfriend who is mentioned near the beginning but never again.) i really enjoyed how obviously hyperaware y.t. was at all times about her own place within the insanities of the setting, while also consistently writing her as a teen maybe in way too deep who thinks about things in typically teenage ways. but like, that wasn't ever held against her? the narrative meets her where she is. it was honestly awesome. HOWEVER,
i absolutely hated the raven and y.t. scenes. how creepy!!! he basically statutory rapes her!!! we know hes at least late 20s early 30s, because hes the same age as hiro. if this sort of content is upsetting to read for you, i definitely do NOT recommend this book. (if you want to avoid reading these bits: ch 47 y.t. meets raven, ch 50 they are in a bar eating, ch 52 things happen that result in y.t.'s anti-assault device activating- she did not activate it on purpose, but forgot it was there- and raven is knocked out.)
please PLEASE dont take any of the following analysis as like, trying to be apologetic towards this scenes. because again they were awful and hard to get through and really gross. but im also cognizant that the author was obviously trying to convey something by making the choice, like the way it was written is obviously not condoning this sort of thing.
i think maybe what stephenson was trying to get at with that, was that we see hiro internally negate any potential for anything untoward with y.t. basically immediately, since he kind of senses that she might have a small crush on him (though this doesnt last more than a fleeting moment, especially from her perspective). vs raven, whose 'poor impulse control' warning tattoo eventually elicits a sarcastic remark from hiro after he finds out raven and y.t. were "a thing". i really dont think hiro knew how far it went? like it was just suuuper weird, but i figured it was meant narratively to 1. execute the chekovs gun of y.t.'s anti-assault device, 2. contrast hiro and raven (especially considering the bike-racing argument where theyre telling the story together, which is supposed to parallel them, while contrasting the differences in how they ended up?), and 3. just to get raven unconscious, i guess. but good god it was weird and i hated every second of it, why couldnt the device have like, activated way earlier?? gah. fucking upsetting. moving past that!
honestly i was really frustrated by how little screentime juanita got, because the way she was introduced was so fucking interesting and then shes mostly off doing her own thing. the bits of explanation she gives at the end about what she was up to on the raft are so sparse and im like damn, can we get a little bit of her pov in here? please? that would have ruled. additionally, shes supposed to be hiros love interest, but we see so little of them interacting outside her intro scenes. a huge portion of why hiro is getting into the sumerian mythology is literally framed as something that will help him understand juanita, but we dont get to see him talk to her about it barely at all.
the supporting characters were quite fun, i particularly liked the librarian. big surprise, i liked the overly literal ai information-dispensor, lmfao. watching him and hiro interact reminded me SO hard of geordi laforge having honest to god conversations with the computer where he tries to coax information out of it, aka one of my favorite little aspects of tng.
and lastly, the major plot themes themselves. i adore the way stephenson approached action, it was very entertaining. usually i cant really visualize action scenes written out, but his use of language was really really effective and engaging. the plot itself was absolutely fascinating, though i found the premise pretty contrived. which isnt bad in itself, i was fully suspending my disbelief until the last hundred pages or so. which for a 550+ page book, isnt too bad.
i did like the approach of linking the ancient to the modern, that is always really neat. and i think ultimately stephenson did it in an interesting way, not how i would have done it, but definitely interesting! creating these ideas about information infrastructures, and there being words that can access those and be used to control people, was wild. not sure if i agree about the equating of religion to a virus, though he did specifically establish that it was more the approach to religion, than religion itself. (maybe if juanita had been more goddamn present in the narrative that could have been elaborated on a little more. literally her perspective would have been perfect in balancing that out!!)
ultimately what did me in was the very very very long winded MONOLOGUE where hiro re-explained the whole premise, in ways that didnt really neatly organize into a cohesive argument. a lot of the scenes where hiro talks to the librarian, which are interspersed throughout the book, are really exposition heavy, because stephenson is rooting his ideas in historical concepts that need to be explained to both hiro and the audience. and i thought all that was fine, because it was a conversation where hiro was grappling with the information, and he was figuring it out along with the reader, and most importantly it was a conversation between him and the librarian computer program.
howeverrr later on we get a full rehash of all that, where hiro makes clear some stuff that was just implied for the reader, and hes literally just telling these important men whats up in this big long monologue. utterly worthless. i kept reading it and going YEAH, we KNOW, we know this we know this. and the important men barely interjected. it added basically nothing to our understanding of the situation, other than reframing it. but everything added was already an implicit thing, and didnt really need to be said again.
the resolution to the book was stellar, the last 30-40 pages, once hiro is onto the raft, were great. ultimately after reading and giving some time to digest it, i think it was a solidly great book with a few big drawbacks near the end, but which dont carry through and sully the ending.
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horrorlad · 3 years
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Horrorlad Reviews: The Dentist (1996)
Or at least, like, talks about it a bunch. 
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Boy was I overthinking my first real Horror Lad post! It was going to be Grave Encounters, but that will have to wait, because I got insomnia and decided to rewatch a movie I hadn’t seen seen since I was 14, which wound up being the perfect opportunity to write out a post!
Let’s talk about The Dentist!
So, The Dentist is a 1996 movie starring Corbin Bernsen. It was directed by Brian Yuzna (one of the producers of Re-Animator, he also directed the 1989 body horror film Society which I haven’t seen, though a cursory image search tells me I need to add to my watch list immediately).
Anyway, The Dentist is about a teethsman who catches his wife giving some other guy a BJ and gets so grossed out about it that he has a nervous breakdown about, uh, how dirty mouths are, I guess? He loses his absolute shit (though he didn’t seem to have it all that together to begin with; this guy’s Jack Torrance is way more Kubrick than King), and we the audience get to tag along for all the wacky fun.
Full disclosure: I can’t give an unbiased review of this movie. I watched it several times in high school, then completely forgot about it for ten years, until tonight. There’s too much nostalgia wrapped up in it.
That said, upon rewatching it, I am in LOVE with the structure of it as a film. You know how, some movies, you can tell that the people behind the scenes are having a blast? This is one of those movies. The structure of the shots vary wildly, and I suspect that there was not one tripod or stabilizer on that set. The makeup and effects are fun, every actor has an opportunity to shine at least once, and the pacing is totally bonkers. I will note, however, that for a slasher movie the confirmed death count is pretty low, AND most of the murders are less dentistry-related than you might expect. Still, it’s a good time, and right now it’s available to watch for free (with commercials) on Tubi, which is pretty sweet!
Read on for the content warnings and spoilers. In the meantime, I give The Dentist 3.5 tanks of nitrous oxide (use with caution).
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Content warnings and plot synopsis below the cut.
Content Warnings
Also, I don’t really know what to classify this one as, but there is a lot of “ick” factor to this movie — rotting teeth, sludge, etc. If you’re easily squicked out by that sort of stuff, I’d proceed with caution.
Dental torture (and how!) – it’s basically the whole movie, folks.
Sexual assault – multiple instances, including a character having their head forced down while giving oral sex (in a daydream), and another character being assaulted while on nitrous oxide.
Spousal abuse (physical and emotional) – again, there’s a lot of this.
Child abuse – A young child has their gums stabbed by the dentist.
Animal abuse – a dog is shot offscreen.
--------------------------------------
Okay, spoiler time!
Whoo boy, here we go!
I have no idea why I watched this movie so much as a teen. Probably because it was free on FearNet (remember FearNet?) and I would watch just about anything.
Watching it as an adult, my first thought is… man this is weirdly paced. My second thought is that there’s a lot more non-dental-related murders than I would have expected, but we’ll come back to that.
So, our hero(?) is a dentist, and we meet him at the beginning of a framing device, miming dentistry and offering to tell us about his story. The bulk of the movie is then a flashback about how he got to where he is, interspersed with his monologuing or whatever. We meet him and his wife (who are a straight couple in a movie and thus required to completely hate one another) on their anniversary, a fact which becomes clear while he’s in the middle of throwing a fit about his laundry.
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Pictured: a totally hinged man. Nothing unhinged going on here, no sir.
At any rate, he gets all suspicious after an interaction with the pool guy, and catches his wife having an affair with the guy. He continues framing-device-monologuing about decay and the world being filthy and all that, daydreams about assaulting his wife and murdering the pool boy, etc. He follows the pool guy to the neighbor’s house, acts all weird, shoots a dog — your basic Tuesday.
Eventually, he winds up at the office, starts hallucinating, assaults a couple of patients, and finally calls an early end to the day (self care is important). We get this delightful (in a heavy-handed sort of way) scene that keeps cutting back and forth between him setting out spooky dental tools and his wife getting dressed for the big anniversary surprise he’s has planned, and that’s when things really start to go haywire.
Okay.
So like.
I get that he’s a dentist.
I get that he’s a dentist whose whole shtick is having the themed exam rooms (though why we have aaaalll these rooms for a bunch of hygienists and one dentist is a little beyond me).
But you mean to tell me that this dude’s special anniversary surprise for his wife was to show her his new, opera-themed dental exam room?
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“Oh, honey… you really, really shouldn’t have…”
Like, I know he’s settled on a revenge plot by this point, but I still definitely believe that this guy was legitimately planning the entire time to show his wife his fancy new dental suite as an anniversary surprise. Not to be that guy, but no wonder she was having an affair.
Honestly though, I love this scene. I love the camera PoV shots as he shows off the dental suite, I love the excessive gesturing with his left hand. I love how the scene starts off with his point-of-view of her, and then transitions into her point-of-view of him, cut with those big beautiful teeth-yanking shots. It’s ridiculous.
And then, they get home, he has some monologuing about the pool, etc.
Next scene, it’s the next day, some cops come to ask questions about the murdered dog, his wife is out back on a pool chair with her giant sunhat covering her face (the way normal, totally-not-drugged people hang out by the pool) while the pool guy does his pool guy stuff. Eventually the cops leave, yadda yadda yadda, the pool guy scoops the wife’s tongue out of the pool, he sees how fucked up she is, the dentist murders the shit out of him. It’s beautiful.
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Don’t you love it when you finish your to-do list first thing in the morning?
The end.
Wait, no, that’s not right.
Somehow, there’s still almost half a movie left.
This movie starts with this dude fighting with his wife, catching his wife cheating with the pool guy, hallucinating his wife’s nasty mouth on everyone, etc. You’d think that, with his wife tortured all to shit and the pool guy dead, the movie would have wrapped up.
I mentioned before that the pacing of the movie is weird, which it is. I mean, he has his “oop guess I’m evil now” scene on his way to work the next day, which basically means that just over half of this movie is the origin story. It could be longer, with the big climactic nonsense taking up the last quarter or so. It could be shorter, with him freaking out about his wife, losing his shit, and having a proper dental rampage. Instead, The Dentist flies in the face of conventional story structure.
But this man is a busy man. He’s a dentist, damn it.
He has to get back to work!
Things are happening fast now, let’s get condensed.
We go back to work, he pulls some malpractice shit on that lady whose dog he shot yesterday, then strangles Jessica-the-hygienist (I think that’s her job) when she calls him on it. Later, a man from the IRS comes in and uses the dentist’s shady tax junk to get free dental work which is, uh, inadvisable. IRS man, Marvin Goldblum, starts talking about our dentist’s wife (and about how unhinged shiksas are in bed, in case we somehow we didn’t piece together that he’s an awful Jewish caricature), and I’m sure the rest of his appointment goes totally normally.
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Get a guy who looks at you like this.
Meanwhile, the cops are definitely onto him regarding the murder of that dog (after all, murdering dogs is THEIR turf). They go to his house, where he left the body of the pool guy he murdered just laying around outside for anyone to find (which they do). Then they go upstairs and find his wife, who is alive but so fucked up.
Back at the office, Karen-the-other-hygienist, looking for her coworker who got murdered earlier, stumbles upon the very fucked up IRS dude. We get to listen to the dentist give a little monologue about how grossed out he is that his wife put some dude’s “dirty, rotten… in her mouth!” before he injects air into a vein in Karen-the-other-hygienist’s neck to kill her.
Next up, this girl who has been waiting for two days to get her braces off gets called back. She’s adorable and chipper, so this, of course, can only go well. When’s the last time you had your dentist pull a gun on you?
Our scrappy youngster runs off, and he gives chase (we find that Mr. Goldblum’s jaw elongation procedure is going well by the way), before eventually letting her go after she promises to take very, very good care of her teeth.
After all, he’s got his next job to get to.
Let’s go teach dental students the importance of pulling out everyone’s teeth!
Yeeep, he’s a teacher! And after he shoots one of his students while hallucinating, the cops show up, resulting in the slowest chase scene any movie has ever had (I mean the dude is literally just briskly walking down the hall and he still gets away from them). Anyway, the dentist winds up in an auditorium where a woman is practicing her opera singing. The dentist is entranced by this (we know he loves opera from that scene with his wife earlier) and reaches out to the singer, but he hallucinates his wife’s hecked up face on her and drops to his knees, presumably to have the rest of his nervous breakdown. The cops… uh… well, they just kinda stand around looking disapprovingly at him while he sits on the floor. And that’s… that’s it, I guess?
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“Nah, let him rest, he’s had a big day.” 
 In our final scene, we have some orderlies at his new mental institution drag him down for his regular appointment, where his wife (who I guess is a dentist now) starts drilling at his teeth. This may or may not be a hallucination. It probably doesn’t matter.
Wow. That certainly was a film.
Alright, so, I’ve been typing up my thoughts as I watch, and I think I’ve figured out what I like about this movie, that had me coming back to it over and over as a youngster. There are some movies that just look fun to film, and this is one of them. A number of the shots are really charming, for lack of a better word. There’s the anniversary scene with his wife I mentioned before, but so many others — this movie plays around with point of view, extreme close-ups, some very fun effects used to indicate the hallucinations… there’s even a sideways shot of one of the cops coming down the stairs. I seem to have a real fondness for that sort-of manic, anything-goes approach to filming. Related side note: is there a single steady shot on this whole film? I’m beginning to doubt it.
Corbin Bernsen does a great job. I mean, all the actors do, really, but he is something else. Like, I can’t think offhand of many actors who could successfully take the character “dentist in bad marriage has a nervous breakdown because his wife gives someone else a blow job and it grosses him out; goes on torturemurder spree” without overacting to the point of distraction. “What are you talking about, this dude’s hammier than Easter dinner,” you say. Now, I get the urge here, but I have to disagree; Bernsen plays a fantastic Emasculated White Guy Throwing A Fit.
That picture I posted up there, after the bit about the laundry argument? A dude who makes that face over the idea of wearing the wrong cuff links to work is at most twelve seconds away from completely losing his shit at any given moment. And the dude’s anniversary surprise for his wife was to show off his new, opera-themed dental exam room; none of this behavior seems too off the wall for that character. Granted, I haven’t seen the sequel yet, and the image searches do suggest that our dear dentist is about to use his well-cared-for teeth to chew the hell out of some scenery in The Dentist 2, but in this movie? I’m just saying it’s not an unbelievable portrayal.
Disgruntled white dudes aside, the rest of the cast seems to have a fun time too. Shout out to the receptionist literally sobbing over what a great dentist this guy is (stunning work). If nothing else, stop by for wee baby Mark Ruffalo before he was famous. It’s adorable.
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LOOK AT HIM.
ALL THAT SAID, I have to state again how surprised I am by the sheer number of not-dental-related murders! Like, by my count, this guy commits a hefty amount of malpractice, but for a guy on a torturemurder spree, he sure does seem to keep his torture and his murder fairly separate. Let’s tally it:
I’m tired, let’s wrap this up. The Dentist is a fun movie about a dude who loses his shit, does some dental torture, does some murder, does ZERO dental torturemurders, and then just kinda tuckers himself out and sits down. It’s a big silly mess, and I love it.
Tortures: six
The kid at the beginning, the lady he sexually assaults (it counts), his wife (not dead), that lady whose dog he shot, Marvin the IRS guy (alive when last we see him), and the person at the dental school near the end.
Murders: three people, one dog.
The dog (shot), the pool guy (knifed), Jessica-the-hygienist (strangled), Karen-the-other-hygienist (air injected into artery), and that’s… it..? He does shoot that person at the dental school, but it doesn’t appear to be a fatal wound, and Marvin the IRS guy was alive when we saw him last.
Torturemurders: HECKIN’ ZERO.
Zero! None of the tortures are murdered, and nobody he murders is tortured! What the heck kind of slasher dentist doesn’t even kill people via dentistry? No wonder everyone looks down on him at the end.
Alright, first post written. I’m going to bed.
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mcustorm · 4 years
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Thoughts on Love, Victor Season 1
PSA: If you think that you might be gay, don’t get a girl emotionally invested! Please!
Ya know, at first when I thought about what I was going to write about this show, I thought that I should split the writings into the first half/last half of the show. Now I’m thinking “screw it”, if only because if I was going to go that route I should have stopped, parsed through my feelings about the first 5 episodes, and written those thoughts before proceeding with the next half. That, of course, did not happen, so to prevent the back half of the season’s events from miring the first half, I’ll just write about the whole shebang. There’s probably a joke about that word somewhere, I’ll try not to make it.
Anyways, let’s start by saying that on the whole, I really liked this show. It was not as good as Sex Education season 1, yet in my opinion waaaay better than HSMTMTS season 1. Most of the characters were likable and felt developed enough, it moved at a nice pace, and you can tell that a lot of heart went into this. Perhaps because we all watched this in a day, it felt like a 5 hour movie rather than a 10 episode tv show.
Additionally, I of course like the Latinx representation. The intersectionality of the Latinx community and the LGBTQ+ community has been presented on at least five TV shows to my knowledge: Ugly Betty, One Day at a Time, Diary of a Future President, The Baker and the Beauty, and now Love, Victor. Let’s keep it up!
As for the premise of the show itself, I *love* that this show acknowledges that Simon’s journey, at least at his house, was leaps and bounds easier than many other people’s. Victor’s parents are more conservative and religious, and they don’t have their shit together, so this is not the best environment to drop that bombshell in (which is why it was so incredible when Victor decides to do it anyway). Simon and Victor’s DM’s being a framing device for the show was a great way to tie the universe together.
The hook of Love, Simon was that you know all those cheesy and cliche rom-coms that straight people have gotten since the dawn of time? Well LGBT people deserve those stories too! Love, Victor is sort of presented with that same thesis in mind, which is why watching these episodes felt like different things I’ve seen before all over. The whole season ironically feels like Alex Strangelove: The TV Show, right down to the often cringy relationship with the girl, the openly gay love interest who conflicts our protagonist, and the goofball friend who chases after a girl who is seemingly out of his league.
Mia’s character felt a lot like Laila from All-American, being a black girl who is ordained as the hottest girl at school (which I feel like is a title only given in fictional schools), who also has a missing mother and problems with her rich dad. Pilar, on the other hand, feels like Casey from Atypical, in that she is openly rebellious in large part because of her mother’s infidelity.
Victor’s story this season sure was something to watch. The biggest question for me was, just how much sympathy should he be given? The world is inherently unfair to Victor. None of us should have to go through the agony and anxiety that so often comes with being in the closet and coming out. But for Victor to have visited those problems on Mia, who is going through things herself? That makes him pretty morally gray.
But he was still finding himself! But he loves Mia, just not like that! I get it, which is why he should have cut things off as soon as he got back from New York, no he should have cut things off when she asked him if there was “anything else” in her bedroom, no he should have cut things off when he literally felt like he and Benji were the only two people in the room at the concert, no he really shouldn’t have done this to begin with.
The line between Victor finding himself and him deceiving Mia is the conflict of the show, but the moment for me when I was like “Damn, Victor” was after he intentionally derailed Mia’s shebang-ing that she planned, he found the gall to lie to Benji and plan a seduction! That is why the season finale was so glorious. Because yes, while the world is unfair to Victor, he’s being unfair to the people around him.
I have made it a point not to read other people’s opinions extensively so as not to bias my own thoughts, but is Felix everybody else’s favorite? Felix’s character and arc was great. He was a supportive friend yet still felt like he had a story and stakes of his own, something which some TV shows get right (Sex Ed) and some TV shows get various shades of wrong (Jamie Johnson, Andi Mack). I like that he knew his worth and cut things off with Lake, and I like that she realized that her happiness with him should take priority over what others think of her.
I was soooo sympathetic to Mia. Her world is being turned upside down at home. Clearly, she has not even processed her mother being out of her life, and now her Dad is “replacing” her Mom while the baby is also “replacing” her! In Mia’s eyes, at least. Mia just needs to know that she is loved and appreciated. Which she *thought* of all people she’d be able to get from her boyfriend. Shucks.
As for the rest of Victor’s family, I also thought the parents’ storyline was pretty interesting yet unfortunate. Armando just can’t come around to trusting Isabel, which I actually kind of understand. Isabel, meanwhile, is being prevented from doing the thing she loves to do, which sucks especially because she’s in a radically new environment. Adrian is of course great, protect him at all costs. Pilar’s seemingly permanent mode of “angsty” is completely justified, as her friends back in TX are moving on just fine without her, she’s having trouble opening up and fitting in, and her family is WYLIN.
Some things that didn’t go so well for me was Andrew’s character, who feels like he’s just there to obstruct at any given moment. Y'all knew that when Victor and Benji were having that convo in the bathroom, someone was in the stall and someone was Andrew. Also, my guy, how are you not even somewhat aware that you are a total douchecanoe? I liked Benji, but Venji didn’t quite work for me because of all of the cheatation that it took to get there. Benji was pissed and ready to stay away from Victor permanently after the [attempted seduction], but once his relationship was over he was completely fine with putting his tongue down Mia’s boyfriend’s throat.
Overall, I really enjoyed this show. Some of these teen dramas I’m admittedly only watching for the LGBT content, so to have that be at the forefront of a show for once was amazing. The conflict was realistic if frustrating, and to me most of the characters seemed fully realized. Thankfully, the show didn’t even feel too “spin-offy” even with Nick Robinson being all over it.
In any given multi-season serialized show, the trajectory of the show goes one of two ways: the first season puts your feet on the ground of the series, and then later seasons go above and beyond with the storytelling (The Office, Breaking Bad, Bojack Horseman, Jamie Johnson) OR the first season is pretty great TV, and the following seasons fail to live up to its glory (The Good Place, Dear White People, really most every Netflix show ever). Which category Love, Victor ends up in is something to look forward to. Where do we go from here now that Victor is taking his first steps out of the closet?
Stray thoughts from the episodes:
The soundtrack on the whole, was not my cup of tea. I still liked a couple of songs, so that means somebody out there liked more of them.
I completely forgot Natasha Rothwell was in Love, Simon. More of her! More of Ali Wong! More of Beth Littleford! They were all great.
So Roger got his ass beat by Armando, and he still wants to get back with her?? Roger is reckless, man.
Speaking of reckless, Victor’s closet skills completely fell apart towards the end there. Assume somebody’s always watching!
Lake’s mother is a trip.
Good for the family for standing up to the grandparents.
Oh my god, Simon and Bram. Those guys are mine, and now they’re growing up and moving to the Big Gay City. They’ve come a long way.
Speaking of the Big Gay City, we were in Atlanta for a season and got *0* acknowledgement of the vibrant gay community there. More things to look forward to.
Was anybody else singing Selena along with Isabel? That is my favorite Selena song!
By rule of Felix being a male and Pilar being a female close in age, I immediately thought they were going to be a thing. The writers didn’t pull that thread too much...
That moment at the end there when we all thought Victor was going to hold off on his announcement only for him to go “fuck it” and say it anyways? And then he got to exhale? Perfect. chef’s kiss
What with June being Pride month, the SCOTUS ruling a couple of days ago, this entire show premiering today, and Delliot things going down in less than 24 hours, this will likely be the gayest week of the year. I suggest we all enjoy it.
Stay Peachy!
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tfw-no-tennis · 3 years
Text
mtmte liveblog issue 22
oooh man, its time to feel some EMOTIONS!
I'm BACK after a hiatus, which was due in part to me getting my 1st dose of the covid vaccine! woohoo!
anyways, starting here w/issue 22....we have a great cover w/thunderclash, the legend himself
oof. the covers made me forget how much I don't like the art this issue...I hate to be mean to the artists but this art style just isn't doin it for me chief
god I love this issue though. the framing device of rewind’s movie is so so fantastic
tailgate listing off all his fake awards/accomplishments....ily 
rodimus my boy, you're a prime in my heart
the ‘not a decepticon’ label for cyclonus is so much hvbhkjfbskjf
I literally wanna comment on every single panel bc I love all the characters so much but then id be here forever...that being said whirl ily sm 
hvbjdfbhsfjhdfshja BRAINSTORM ‘according to perceptor - ships genius’ hvhdkjhbfhjs ily dumb gay idiot
and then the cut to perceptor after brainstorm like, blew up his lab vjbkdsfnbksjf dude
GODDDDDD drift ‘your name...defines you. it’s your soul expressed in syllables. hm? oh, yes, sorry. it’s drift.’ GOD he’s so fucking funny. I love early story hippy drift
god I cant stop thinking about how good this whole issue would be as an animated show...like, specifically rewinds film, it would be SO FUCKING GOOOOOOD mtmte show WHEN
rewiiiiind ;_; I fuckgin love rewind god. fellow video editing enthusiast....
ohhhh rodimus being embarrassed about his big speech at the beginning of mtmte....my boy I love u so much
gjhnbgehjsrkfbjksf magnus being suspicious of rewind oh my god. magnus ily but please, look at the lil guy, he’s a good boy, most of the time
the fuckgin footage that magnus removed hbvhakjbfhskf god. wasn't that intended to be footage of magnus dancing? I love him
minibot squad.....
and here it begins, the mystery stick rung question...
poor rung oh my god he’s just trying to polish his lil spaceship and people r throwing shit at him. taking Ls as per usual it seems
hand grenade tag hvbfjksdnfbkjdf love that callback
noooo rungs ship :( 
magnus’s censorship vhbhadkjfhdbhjsakjhfn
oh man I forgot about how they met that race of Transformers But More 
the one-upsmanship hbvkajsbehfjks
whirrrrrl lmao I love whirl sm
goddddd whirl just killing that other alien and ending the 16 million yr long civil war bvkjsdbfhjjkafs so fucking much
oh god oh god the ‘are you happy’ page, I'm not emotionally equipped to handle this like, ever
but I will say I feel like it would be EVEN MORE oof if it were milne or someone drawing it bc I feel like this art style takes away from some of the impact bc the expressions aren't really that...expressive? idk how to put it
anyways. every single answer destroys me!!! like even the happy ones, like chromedome and rewind and tailgate - well, in present time, none of those three are doing so hot, so that makes this just hurt 
and rung....that is so fucking depressing. jesus. this guy is so fuckng sad, somebody get him a friend stat
and swerve...ouch. this readthru I've really noticed how much early-mtmte swerve is not-so-subtly like, crying out for help bc he’s so alone and shit. jesus 
also brainstorms response is just plain ole sad w/context, but at this point in the story without context, it just seems very foreboding lmao. I'm realizing this readthru that brainstorm is very sketchy and ominous in a particular ‘is he evil?’ mad scientist sorta way in early mtmte
and then everyone else is also just so OOF in their own unique sad ways, but I think the worst out of everyone is drift....GODDDDDD. especially considering that at this point in the story, drift is this kinda goofy hippy guy, so seeing him just sit there with his face in his hand, not even answering the question...AND knowing that shortly after this he’ll end up banished...IT FUCKING HURTS M8!
meanwhile, the more upbeat ‘quest to see rungs alt mode’ continues...with an ‘alt mode party’ vhbadkjsdfnabskjf it looks so silly with a bunch of cars just sitting around a table lmao
I cant even tell who everyone is bc they so rarely turn into cars n shit lmaoooooo 
rodimus with the bucket on his head hbvhakjbfskjf I CANT
everyone’s reactions to thunderclash...i fucking love it
the fact that TAILGATE doesn't hate him, even though we’ve seen that tailgate tends to dislike people who are universally liked/who have achieved a lot of impressive things
rodimus you petty thot vbdkjbfdjhsakjdf ily
RODIMUS IS SO FUNNYYYYYY ‘I'm not making all these sacrifices and leading these guys into battle and being inspirational - I'm not doing that because it makes me look good’ RODIMUS VBHSKJDFNBKSJF
thunderclash talking about magnus’s article on typefaces....hdbksjfsdbkjgfb bro
AND THEN MAGNUS HUGS HIM....HGBSKJFDSHFKD I CANT
POOR DRIFT bvhajkdfbhjkjsfd rodimus saying he ‘rehabilitated him’ oh my god
the whole spectralism thing...im sorry I cant get over how funny all this is vbakdjfbksjf thunderclash rlly b out here charming rodimus’s entire crew
and then ratchet comes in, calling tc ‘thunders,’ and tc immediately notices ratchets new hands (somehow) hvbkjfhbskjf truly amazing
it cracks me up that rodimus is all 😒😒 at thunderclash, even though as we come to find out, tc really IS That Perfect, and him complimenting rodimus isn't sarcasm at all lmao
AND THEYRE LOOKING FOR THE KNIGHTS OF CYBERTRON TOO HVSDHFJBSHKHDFJS OF COURSE
the vis vitalis being a life support machine spaceship is a really cool concept tho
‘rescuing some orphans from an exploding sun’ I fucking cant
evil guy: [holds a gun to thunderclash’s head] 
rodimus: :D finally something doesn't go his way!
he’s so petty I’m..........dkdjhfdabhduifadijgl
and its the aliens from earlier! oooh
GODDD I forgot that swerve used rung in mystery stick mode to SCHWACK the guy
rung casually dropping the fact that the functionists like, experimented on him...there's a lot of implications there, and that'll certainly be explored more later...
the fact that his ID card says ‘rong’ hvbhjakhdsbfakhsjfn 
oughufadkfujbsfk the circle of light throwing wrenches n shit at skids...guys cmon vbhsdjkfnslfd
the circle of light is like ‘wtf you all have trauma and a bunch of weird unhealthy coping mechanisms this is wack byeeeee’ lmao
skids calling the lost light his home is rlly sweet tho
cant believe the religious space hippy cult is being so rude about a film made by a guy who died like a week ago. unreal 
cd finally figured out how to make the pffft sound, good for him
AUGHHHHH the fact that rewind used ‘little victories’ as the title of the film and that's something that chromedome said in the video ;_; I'm fucking inconsolable 
rodimus, despite his obvious posturing for the camera during the whole issue, comes off as surprisingly genuine when he says that he hasn't thought about his own future much, but wants the crew to have a happy ending....im gonna cry
‘who knows what's around the corner?’ tailgate, PLEASE don't say that, oh my god, 
OUGHHHH GROUP SHOT 
OHHH mannnnNNNNN i love this issue SO MUCH. what a good fun emotional rollercoaster wrap-up to mtmte s1. god. 
like, this issue has it all - humor, drama, crippling sadness, intrigue, worldbuilding...it’s so excellent 
and getting to see rewind again hurts so bad but also I love him
ok quick mtmte s1 retrospective...god s1 is so fucking good. I'm gonna have to read more to say which chunk of mtmte I liked best but s1 is so fucking excellent that it might be my favorite. though its hard to pick bc there's so much good stuff later on too...whatever, the point is s1 is so so good
the plotlines and characters are fucking stellar. like I cant even believe how well Everything works, its very impressive. I cant really think of anything major that made me go ‘yeah could've done without that plotline/character’
I love how dedicated jro is to connecting everything. I've mentioned it before but basically every single moment in the series has payoff - what you initially think is just a funny moment, or a fluffy character establishment bit, ends up ALSO being an important plot point later, in some way
an example would be here w/rung and his alt mode - it just seems like a fun little B-plot for this issue, and seems to pretty neatly conclude with the reveal that rung was eventually classified as an ‘ornament’ (lmao)...but we later on get to see a lot more about this, both here and in the functionist universe 
and like, stuff like tailgate’s autobot lessons w/magnus - at first that can be seen as purely character establishment stuff, showing that magnus is a strict rule-lover and tg is a loveable try-hard good boy - but that becomes plot relevant in remain in light, with tailgate saving the day due to his knowledge of the autobot code (and its also character relevant, with magnus’s arc in remain in light). 
and I know this is like. a normal regular thing in writing, but I'm just very impressed about how cleanly jro pulls it off, and how many things he’s juggling at once, especially in early mtmte - it’s very ambitious!
and we gotta remember, this is a comic book. I've read a lot of comic books, and the quality is all over the place. a lot of writers bite off more than they can chew, and the story ends up kinda scattered as a result. 
another thing I see a lot in franchise writing like this is a lack of strong early character establishing due to the author assuming the readers are at least somewhat familiar with the characters already - which can be totally fair depending on where it is in the continuity, but other times it can come off as lazy
in mtmte, the cast is extremely well fleshed out, and not only that, the cast itself is unique in that there are a lot of relative unknowns (franchise-wise) - which I think was an absolutely brilliant move, because then jro was able to essentially create The Definitive Version of these characters - characters like swerve, brainstorm, chromedome, rewind, tailgate...mtmte is their baseline characterization, because they haven't really appeared in much else
this also allows for deviation from the franchise norms - again, a comic book classic is good writing being stifled by a need to stick to a certain status quo regard the characters, the world, the powers, relationships, etc
(I've mostly read DC comics, and some marvel, so I'm thinking superheroes w/all these comic comparisons)
so mtmte had a good recipe for genuine creativity in that the characters were relative unknowns, the plot was basically ‘space road trip,’ the status quo of ‘autobot vs decepticon war’ had been demolished throughout the entire franchise...so jro was able to take all that and run, and it turned out so fantastic
and luckily it isn't over yet! so many comics suffer from premature cancellation...and sadly mtmte/ll isn't exempt from this, as we’ll see later, but I've seen some awful ones, where comics are forced to wrap up in like 2 issues while in the middle of an arc. yikes. 
but another comic staple...one of my least favorite things about comics books in general...something that was basically responsible for driving me away from comics after reading a bunch...the dreaded crossover event
yep, even mtmte isn't immune to this unfortunate plague on the comic industry. crossover events are the absolute worst, and I'm saying this as somebody who adores crossovers (in concept more than execution usually). they SHOULD be my favorite, but unfortunately they p much always completely suck
they're essentially a ploy to get you to read the other ongoing titles, but they usually only serve to bog down whatever story you're reading to the point where you don't even wanna read that one anymore, let alone read all the other ongoings. at least, that’s been my experience 
it doesn't help that reading orders tend to be hard to find/keep track of, and that you need to go read the other series to know what's going on. I just hate it, like, I came here to read THIS series, I don't want a bunch of other series showing up too - even if I was reading two series, I wouldn't want them crossed over, because they're separate stories! augh!
I'm totally losing my focus here but my point is...crossover events suck, and mtmte unfortunately is involved in one. I have not read dark cybertron, and I'm not about to. I've heard nothing but bad things so I have no desire to inflict that upon myself 
soooo ill be reading through the tfwiki articles for those issues to give myself a better understanding of what went on - which is more than I've ever done in the past - and maybe ill even make a single post summarizing my thoughts on what I read in the wiki, lmao
but yea ill be skipping to the mtmte s2 stuff next 
phew ok I'm super tired, my vision keeps blurring out and stuff lmao. its time for bed, I probably have more thoughts but ill save them for later. for now...peace out!
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witharsenicsauce · 4 years
Text
Chosen Stories From the War #23: The Outrider’s Mission
(Content Warning: This chapter contains descriptions of violence/gore, and implied drug use)
With the help of Vahlen’s phone, it didn’t take long to get hold of Firebrand, who had been panicking about losing four of the most important recruits XCOM had ever had. Eventually, she managed to get close enough to one of the trees that they were able to make the climb up to her. The ones who couldn’t climb rode on the backs of the stronger, more nimble Chosen.
As they landed in the garage and the door slid open, the group stepped off the Skyranger, rubbing sore muscles and nursing minor wounds, but with a general cheer about them. Bradford was waiting for them, as per usual, but this time Senuna had also joined him.
“Welcome back, Menace 1-5.” Bradford said with a smile. “Your mission was a big success.”
“Was it now?” Verge raised a brow. “No one from the ship is with us. In fact, they are all presumably dead.”
“No, but you found the UFO.” Bradford said. “As far as the mission is concerned, that’s all we asked of you. Good job, people.”
Gur-Rai crossed his arms as he met Senuna’s eyes. “Well Commander, it’s an honor to see you out of bed before noon.”
Senuna smiled irritably. “Don’t make fun of me, Darkstrider. I wanted to see you all back myself.” She pushed past him and walked up to Dhar-Mon and Malinalli, her eyes softening. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”
Malinalli saluted, her eyes against the floor, and Dhar-Mon bowed. “I must apologize, Commander.” He said. “We were careless in allowing ourselves to become lost.”
“Oh nonsense!” Senuna reached up and put a hand on his massive shoulder. “You survived out there and kept each other safe. If anything, it was my fault. I didn’t expect the forest to have a dampening effect on our communications.” She looked to Malinalli. “And you, little one, fared wonderfully.”
“Thank you, Madam.” Malinalli seemed to blush. “I try my best, each time.”
“Commander.” Kon-Mai stepped forward. “I believe we may have something of interest to you.” She held out the old phone.
Senuna’s eyes immediately widened, signifying she recognized the old device. She gently took it from Kon-Mai’s grasp, as if she feared her touch would break it. She turned it on, and let loose a small whimper at the sight of the picture on the home screen. They could see tears welling in her turquoise eyes.
“Where did you find this?” She asked.
“On the crashed ship.” Gur-Rai said. “It looked recent.”
“That photo is of you.” Malinalli said. “And Vahlen…?”
Senuna grit her teeth. “ADVENT can’t have gotten to her before us.” She turned. “I will have Shen begin work on opening this immediately. It might give us more clues to her whereabouts.”
“We need Shen to hack it?”
“Moira changed her code every other month because she was paranoid.” Senuna shrugged. “Or to keep me from ordering food using her card…the point is, I don’t know what her code was, but Shen can probably get into it.”
“Well, Shen might need help.” Gur-Rai rubbed his hands together.
“She might.” Senuna smiled. “But it won’t be from you, Darkstrider.”
He raised a brow. “...Did I screw up already, Commander?”
“Oh no. You just have another mission coming up.” She giggled. “And this one is gonna be fun~”
.
.
A good night's sleep was what they all needed to process what they had learned in the forest, though their dreams did not offer any solace.
The Shrinemaiden dreamt of a child she couldn’t see, with eyes that looked like hers, following her through the forest, seemingly only visible when the sun rays hit just right. 
The Darkstrider dreamed of guns in his palm and riding shotgun in a beat up old truck, laughing with a joy he had not known since he’d been human. 
The Hieromonk dreamed of a murky river, upon which he floated on a raft. From bubbles under the water came distinct notes of saxophones, drums and violins, and a man’s voice singing, the sound of which made him sad. It was a relief when his alarm went off, and he was jolted from his slumber. 
The sun was already up, painting the sky orange behind thick clouds. He groaned as he sat up, rubbing the knot of muscles that was his neck. No matter how he tried, he never seemed to be able to fully relax. How his sister did so was beyond him.
Dhar-Mon rose from bed, running a hand through his hair, which had been growing ever since he’d arrived on this ship. For some reason, now that he was out of the Elders’ embrace, it seemed to grow faster. It was down to his mid back now. He considered cutting it…
Then he felt where the screws and bolts used to be, the ones that tethered those heinous red contraptions to his skull. They were gone now, ripped out by the medical team so they could perform his brain surgery, after his “father” nearly killed him. All that was left were the deep, ugly scars.
He stood and went to the bathroom, stared briefly at the toilet he would never have to use, and then looked at himself in the mirror. 
Ugly: that was the first word he thought of. Ugly. Before all this he could have looked in the mirror and insisted that the Elders blessed him with the visage of gods. Now his blue skin and red eyes only served to distance everyone else on this ship from him, reminding him he was not-
There was a knock on his door, and he quickly threw on his robe (the very soft, plushy pink one Kon-Mai had made him), and pressed his ear to the metal. “Who is there?”
“Just me!” Malinalli’s happy voice replied. “You okay?”
He opened the door, so eager to see her that he forgot about his state and, as such, was embarrassed by her giggle when she laid her eyes upon him.
“You look so cute!” She cooed.
He blushed, his blue skin turning deep violet. “I…was dressing and...well it would be rude to leave you out in the hallway.”
“I can wait if you want me to come ba-”
“No, no no.” He stepped to the side. “Come in.”
She followed him inside and, suddenly, it occurred to him just how much smaller she was than him, especially when she sat on the bed that was literally twice as long as she was. He was 8’2, and she was almost half his size, maybe 5’5 at most. Her small body did not hold much muscle, but instead was soft and cushioned, her face round and her arms and legs thicker than he had seen before, but then again his frame of reference included only his sister and, maybe, the Commander. Malinalli was certainly chubbier than both, but it seemed to give her an even, healthy glow. If anything, it was fetching.
She looked up at him, looking like she wanted to say something, and he raised a brow in her direction. “Yes?”
“Hey, so, I had a question, before we practiced today.” She swallowed, looking nervous.
“You may ask me anything.” He assured her, straightening up in an attempt to look regal...in his fluffy pink robe. Thankfully, the attempt seemed to work, because relief flooded her face, and she looked up confidently. 
“Can I braid your hair?”
“I...beg your pardon?”
She suddenly looked away again. “Braid it, like mine. When I’m working, I braid it so it stays out of my eyes, and your hair is getting longer, so I was wondering...maybe you wanted…” She coughed. “It’s not a big deal, really, just...something interesting. I thought it might be fun to try.”
Dhar-Mon stared at her for a moment. His priests used to tend to his hair, combing out each and every knot, carefully anointing it with oils to maintain it’s sheen, but...they’d never styled it. Never braided it. And it was beginning to get out of hand…
“...Very well.” He muttered. “Would you prefer I sit?”
“Oh! Yes! Please.” She giggled, her face lighting up in a way that made him oh so happy.
.
.
“I am not happy.”
“I know.” Mox said to his seething wife as she paced around the armory. “Perhaps the Commander will reconsider.”
“The ‘Commander’ does nothing but play games with us like we’re dolls!” Elena hissed, checking her gun and reloading the bullets again. “One mission with Darkstrider was enough. One mission I could deal with. But he’s going to be in our home, Pratal!”
“I know.” He stood. “It is very angering.”
“It’s in Reaper territory!” She cried. “And he KILLED the Reapers! Hundreds of us! He killed Major Eli!”
“I know.” He just kept repeating. “I can talk with the Commander and ask her to reconsider.”
“She’ll just get angry at you.” Elena pressed her fingers to her temples. “I just...I wish he’d never joined! I wish I’d…” She pressed her face against Mox’s shoulder.
“...Was it not five years ago, you said the same about me?” Mox chuckled. “And ten years ago, you claimed to Volk you would never look a Skirmisher in the face without vomiting.” He planted a kiss on her ear. “And yet, you now wake up beside me every day.”
“Well one day I may vomit after waking up beside you, but it will be for a very different reason.” Elena chuckled. “You...you were different, Pratal. You are different.”
“Perhaps I am.” He said. “But neither of us knew such a thing, until you gave me a chance.”
“But I don’t want to give him a chance.” She whispered. “...I look at him and...I see…”
Mox’s eyes darted to the floor. Her words hurt his own heart just as much as it hurt hers.
“I know it’s been 10 years.” She whispered. “And I love you so much, and I wouldn’t trade my life with you for anything in the world but...I still see his face when I look at him, and it makes me so angry.”
“I know.” He said, pulling her ever closer, squeezing her tight around the waist. “If you cannot work with him, Elena, it is okay.”
“No, it’s not…” She sighed. “I’m sorry. I just...need to move past this.” She took a deep breath. “Tomko is dead. Gur-Rai is not-”
“Gur-Rai is not dead, thank you very much~” That infuriating voice piped up behind her as he waltzed into the armory. He was sucking on a lollipop and it was turning his black tongue slightly green.
“You’re here early.” She growled.
“I wanted to add a new scope to my Darklance.” He chuckled. “And sharpen my machete. She still needs a name, if you have any ideas.”
“No.” Elena grumbled, going back to polishing her gun.
Gur-Rai shrugged and walked past her. “Mox! It’s been years, quite literally! How nice to finally be on a mission together, just like old times!”
“The last time I was deployed with you I ended up with severe brain damage.” Mox said, raising a brow. “And you exploded one of the helicopters.”
“Yes, but because of that, you now have a better paying job and a beautiful wife.” Gur-Rai gestured to Elena. “So if anything, Mox, you should be thanking me~”
“Point at me again.” Elena hissed, aiming her gun at Gur-Rai. “I dare you.”
“Well, someone is touchy.” He winked at Mox. “Luckily, some men like that in a girl.”
“I will shoot you.” She hissed.
“Will you?” He smiled. “I suppose you’ve done it before. Still have the hip to prove it.” He walked off towards the scopes. “Let me know if you think of any good names for my blade!”
Elena wanted to scream.
.
.
Kon-Mai had never been good with machines. That was her brother’s territory. She had a much better time with organic things. Notably, humanoid things.
So why was she down here in Engineering, she asked herself as she peered over the counter at the many half-finished projects Shen had left out. Most were a tangle of exposed wires and cords, some plugged in and powered on, some effectively dark.
Including Vahlen’s cell phone.
Kon-Mai picked it up and pressed the power button. The screen came to life and, once again, she saw that picture on the very front, displayed proudly: the Commander in a short white skirt and casual blue sweater. Vahlen stood beside her in equally relaxed clothing, their arms linked like a chain. In their free hands, they each held an ice cream cone.
She puzzled over the picture. How long ago was it taken? Senuna looked relatively younger, perhaps in the eyes, but her face always looked incredibly youthful, and her short hair added to the aesthetic. Vahlen’s brown hair was long, pulled into wavy pigtails, and her green eyes were bright. Kon-Mai noticed the scientist was actually noticeably darker in skin tone than the Commander, and in fact she was also a bit taller. She definitely looked younger than in the WANTED posters.
“Whatcha doin?”
Kon-Mai jumped, dropping the phone as she whirled around and met with the smiling face of the Commander herself, who looked like she was giggling at Kon-Mai’s shock.
“I am so sorry.” Kon-Mai stammered, putting the phone back. “I simply...I wanted…”
“It’s okay.” Senuna assured her, picking the phone up and handing it back to her. “...You like that picture?”
“I just…” She struggled for the words. “That is Dr. Vahlen? In the picture?”
Senuna chuckled and sat down on a nearby stool. “Yes. I know, time took its toll on her a bit since that was taken.” She stared wistfully at the phone for a moment. “...Stars. She was so young back then.”
“How old were you both?” Kon-Mai leaned on the counter in absence of a stool of her own.
“Moira was twenty-two.” Senuna said. “She had just been accepted to a Masters program all the way in Southern Ireland. To celebrate we went on a road trip from Munich to Barcelona. That’s where we took that. Have you ever been to Barcelona, Konnie?”
Kon-Mai nodded. “Once, but never to the beaches.” She examined the crashing waves in the background. “The water is so blue…”
“You’ll never swim in a warmer ocean.” Senuna giggled.
“So you knew the doctor, before XCOM?” Kon-Mai asked. “How did you meet her?”
“College.” Senuna chirped. “I was getting bored of my current job; I was making and selling jewelry at the time, which was quaint, but I needed something new. So I went to Germany and applied to Ludwig Maxililian for another degree.”
“...Another?”
“Yes. This one was in Bioinformatics. To be honest I just chose it because the name was cool~”
Kon-Mai blinked. “...What is that?”
“It’s basically using computers to design software to map the human body and figure out how things tick.” She giggled. “And I’m REALLY good at staring at screens and noticing patterns. Moira was in my Intro to Gene Mapping class, and we sat next to each other in the lecture hall.” She smiled wistfully. “She was kinda shy back then. But I talked enough for the both of us.”
“I think that is true for anyone who speaks to you.” As soon as she said the words, Kon-Mai turned pink, putting a hand over her mouth to stop herself, but the words were out. “I am sorry, Commander.”
Senuna laughed. “No no, it’s the truth!” She winked. “I don’t mind looking at myself in the mirror. Well, after I put my makeup on, that is”
.
.
It always seemed to be dark in Reaper territory.
The Darkstrider shivered; not with fear but anticipation. The clouds covering the sky gave the air a green, glowing tint and made him oh so excited. He could hear his prey slithering in the cracked streets and between the buildings, the groan of distant Lost, the gentle clatter of Chryssalids…
Gur-Rai ran his fingers along Darkclaw. “Tonight is a good night.”
“Indeed.” Outrider muttered. Even she couldn’t argue with his excitement: it was present in all Reapers. They were all hunters. It was in their blood.
Mox, on the other hand, heard the sounds and seemed wary. “We must meet with the rendezvous soon.”
“Already here.”
The three turned around at the sound of the soft, scratchy voice. A young woman who was nearly as tall as the Darkstrider himself emerged from the shadows. It was hard to see in the darkness, but the coat she wore was of green snakeskin rather than the usual black leather the Reapers donned. She lowered her hood to reveal stark white hair, chopped haphazardly, and green eyes that pierced the darkness with their intensity.
“Cruzita.” Elena said. “Where is Lars?”
“Behind you.” From off the bridge, a short, slender man jumped into view, emerging from the darkness like a dolphin from the depths of Hell. He landed in a crouch, his gun already drawn. “There are many snakes out tonight.”
“Wonderful~” Cruzita smiled, her teeth as white as her hair. “I do so need a new coat.”
“First we weed out the Lost.” Outrider said. “Then we-”
“Pardon me, Elena, but I don’t think I’ve met your friends.” Gur-Rai chuckled. In reality, they did look semi-familiar, but that part of his memory was lost to him.
Cruzita stepped up to him, looking him up and down. Despite his own great height, she was nearly up to his chin, and the burning look in her eyes was beginning to make him nervous. She looked like a cat waiting for it’s prey to make a move before she pounced.
Then she put her hand out. He noticed her nails were blood red. “Cruzita de Vries.”
Putting on his best smile, Gur-Rai shook her hand in return. “Gur-Rai Madron.”
“I like your skin.” She said, her lip twitching. “It’s very smooth...and blue.” Her eye seemed to twitch as well. “I love the color.”
“Well, I thank you.” He chuckled, trying to hide the absolute terror he felt in the presence of this insane woman. He turned to the man. “And you?”
“Lars Velasco.” The man said in an accent that was not quite German and not quite French. He lifted his head to nod, and Gur-Rai could see the glint of glasses under his hood.
“Now if you’re done-” Outrider began.
“Hold on now, let’s all go around the circle and say one interesting thing about ourselves.” He laughed at the look Outrider gave him. “I’m kidding, Elena.” He hauled his gun off his back. “Where do we start?”
“There is a group of Lost over by the old tailor’s shop, that way.” Lars pointed behind her. “I saw a pod nearby. Mostly Vipers.”
“Wonderful.” Elena said. “We start there then.”
“And then we get the snakes.” Cruzita looked excited.
“Of course.” Finally, Outrider smiled. “None shall escape the Reapers’ sights today.”
.
.
Malinalli loved running her hands through Dhar-Mon’s hair. It was so fine and delicate, with strands like pure silk. The softness was incredible, almost enviable. Her own curls took at least an hour of maintenance if not more each day, and here he had just woken up looking flawless. She often tried not to dwell on her appearance, but...how was she worth anything to a being like him? Perfect, beautiful, and yet here he was, right in front of her.
As she worked, Dhar-Mon seemed to grow more and more relaxed than he had been when she first arrived. His stiff posture was beginning to unwind, and his robe slipped off one shoulder, and that was when she saw it. The skin under was splotchy, a mix of light blue skin and dark blue scar tissue, and Malinalli felt a pang in her chest. Not thinking, she reached out to touch it.  He flinched, hissing.
“I’m sorry!” She gasped. “Does that hurt? I’m so sorry.”
“No.” He whimpered, and it was an obvious lie. He went to pull his robe back around him but...then he stopped.
Her fingers tingled, and she had to ask. “...Did the Elders do that?”
“...Usually they did not leave marks.” He let his robe drop more, until the entirety of his back was exposed. Instead of dark scars like on his shoulder, there were lines, soft criss-crossing ones, They seemed to glow like his veins did and if you blinked, you’d miss them. But as Malinalli reached out to touch them, she could feel the heat radiating off of them.
“Do they hurt?” She asked.
“One can grow accustomed to pain…” He muttered.
“Not this.” She sighed. “I’m a nurse. I can’t let these just sit.” She touched them again and her fingers prickled even more, as though her hands were falling asleep. “Wait right here.” She stood up. “I’m going to grab something.”
“Wait, Mali-” He called out to her. “Did I upset you?”
“No, not you.” She gave him her warmest smile. “I’m just gonna get something to help you feel better.”
“...Did the Elders upset you?”
“The Elders always upset me.” She spat. “Now moreso than usual.”
.
.
“And then there was one time…” Senuna pressed a hand to her face. “Oh my god, I can’t believe we did this.”
“What happened?” Kon-Mai pressed her.
“Okay: we had just come back from a party where there was lots of beer, and we SHOULD NOT have been driving, both of us were pretty wasted. But since I handle my alcohol better, I was behind the wheel, and Moira was in the passenger seat.” She continued. “Well we’re driving, the road is completely clear, I’m going...I forget how fast, but probably too fast, and Mora decides to crawl out the window and car surf on the roof.”
Kon-Mai thought back to the Sectopod she had fought and shook on instinct. “That sounds terrifying. Why would she do something so dangerous?”
“It was college, she was young and we were both very stupid.” Senuna sighed. “So she’s on top of the car, and all of a sudden this REALLY sharp turn pops up. I hit the breaks as fast as possible; the car fucking spins, and I heard this loud ‘KA-THUNK’ as Moira topples off the roof and into the street.”
Kon-Mai gasped. “Was she alright?”
“She was fine, except for her knees.” Senuna chuckled. “It’s funny now but at the time, oh stars, it was so scary. She’d landed on her knees and basically tore the skin right off. Like, you could see bone, it was that bad.”
Kon-Mai put a hand on her mouth, and would have gagged if she had the ability. “What on Earth did you do?!”
“You’d think we’d have gone to the hospital.” Senuna shrugged. “Nope. We found a Drogeriemarkt and I wrapped up her knees in gauze and tape in the bathroom of the drug store.” Senuna sighed. “And that’s when I learned healthcare was not for me~”
Kon-Mai nodded dubiously. “...You two had such adventures together.”
“We did. She was…” Senuna stopped on that word, “was.” It seemed to drain the happiness from her eyes. “...She was my best friend. We made so many stupid decisions, but we kept each other safe.”
Kon-Mai smiled. “I know how comforting that is, Commander. And I’m happy you know as well.”
.
.
The darkness surrounded the Reapers like a warm blanket, and within its confines, they were safe. Gur-Rai especially cherished the warm embrace, like a mother’s hug. He could see everything from the shadows.
”Now remember. The Lost are drawn to explosions.” Outrider’s voice was scratchy in the comms. “No grenades or claymores yet.”
”Understood.” Mox said, the only one who didn’t seem enthralled by the darkness. He held his own, probably a side effect of being married to Elena, but he’d never be a Reaper, in love with the shadows themselves.
Gur-Rai took up a vantage point on top of an old warehouse and crouched down, looking through his sights. There were the Lost, and behind them, there was the old capsule of radioactive material, glowing green and smelling like sulfur. Being near it made his skin tingle, almost like the static that came with Psionic energy.
“I’m taking the first shot.” Cruzita said over comm.
”Affirmative.” Elena said. ”Lars, on overwatch.”
”Verstehe.”
There was a moment of silence broken only by the gentle moaning of the Lost. Then a bullet ripped through the darkness. Then another. Then another. Then another. Four lost fell dead in rapid succession, and the rest looked around in confusion as to where that had come from. A cackling laugh pierced the blanket of darkness around them. She might have been creepy, but at least Cruzita had the skills to pay the bills.
Mox came next. His gun was nowhere near as accurate as a sniper rifle, but he was still on the ground, within a few deadly feet of his target. He poked his head out from around a corner, and with everyone holding their breath, mowed down three more lost.
“You’re up, Elena.” Gur-Rai purred.
”For the last time. You will refer to me as OUTRIDER.” She snapped in a display of anger Gur-Rai rarely heard from her. ”And do NOT mock me, Darkstrider. I have fought more battles than you ever saw in your days with the Elders.”
“I don’t doubt that.” He chuckled. “I’m only trying to help.”
"You want to help? Do not speak to me unless I speak first.” He heard a gunshot, and three Lost dropped as the bullet cut through their skulls. “Are we clear?”
“...Yeah.” He muttered. “Crystal.”
They sat in silence for a bit, only speaking to pass the baton to one another each time it was their turn to shoot. Gur-Rai kept his mouth shut, his aim slightly off, missing more Lost than he hit. It bugged him. Outrider’s comments were stuck in his head, playing on repeat. Maybe he had been goofing off. Maybe he crossed some line he didn’t know was there. But why in the Void’s name was it always his fault?
As the number of Lost began to dwindle, he heard a hissing noise behind him and ceased his fire. “Outrider.” He hissed. “Something is behind you.”
Outrider didn’t answer, but he could hear her moving.
He repeated his statement. “There’s something on this roof. I’m going to relocate and I think you should too.”
“There’s nothing here, Darkstrider.” She snapped. “I’ve already swept the area.”
He wanted to believe her. But now, he could feel the slow creep of something slithering along the roof tiles. The hissing noise grew louder and he could hear it in Outrider’s comm too.
“Mox.” He leaned over the roof, trying to yell and whisper at the same time. “I need your help! Come get Elena!”
“What?!” Mox yelled up to him. He couldn’t hear him, and if Gur-Rai yelled, Elena was sure to kill him. With no other option, he sat in the darkness and put a hand on his machete, as the hissing came up behind him and rose, ready to strike.
Then Elena screamed. Something darted through the darkness towards him just as Gur-Rai whipped around, pulled his machete from his belt, and cut the encroaching Viper across the snout. It reeled back, blood spraying all over the Chosen man as it shook it’s head and hissed at him in pain and anger. 
Instead of staying to fight, the Darkstrider took off to the other end of the roof, set up in a crouch, and aimed at the Viper that had recovered and was now careening toward him. He didn’t even have time to make a quip before he sloppily aimed and took the shot. The Viper fell dead, just as Mox’s ripjack pulled him onto the adjacent roof, where Elena was wrestling with her own Viper. 
Lars was waiting, aiming with his rifle for a free shot, meanwhile Cruzita had dove to the ground and landed on the back of a third Viper that no one had even noticed. Black knife in her hand, she was riding it like a merry go round. Lars, instead, turned to that one and shot, but he aimed wide and missed.
Gur-Rai shot his grappling hook to the other roof and pulled himself over, just as the Viper bit down on Elena’s shoulder, drawing a huge amount of blood and venom. She staggered backward and fell, where Mox caught her and hauled her off to one side, ready to block the next strike with his own body. 
Gur-Rai was going to make sure he didn’t have to.
Landing behind the snake, he took a shot with Darkclaw, cutting through the snake’s flap and drawing a trickle of blood. It whirled around and shrieked at him, and just as he was about to grab his blade, the snake lunged at his arm and sank it’s fangs into the metal plating of his armor. Normally that could stop bullets, but he could feel those fangs graze his skin. As he tried to pull back, they only dug deeper.
He fell backward, the snake still attached to him and now beginning to wrap around him, tail around his neck.
“You’re just like my ex.” He choked out. “She liked choking too.” He broke off as the tail squeezed his windpipe and cut off his air. He tried to reach around for his rife, but he was fucking laying on it so that wouldn’t work.
“Out, demon!” The rapid fire of a bullpup cut through the air, as well the snake that was holding Gur-Rai. The grip loosened just enough for him to wrench himself out of her grasp and grab Darklance off his back.  As the bleeding Viper made one more lunge for him, he fired into her face. She fell back, bleeding and dead.
Before Gur-Rai could even say “thank fuck,” another hiss to his right set him off. He rolled to the side as another snake lashed out at him. “HOW MANY OF YOU ARE THERE?!”
“Too many!” Outrider cried. “We...we need to evacuate.”
“Bryni, we need a pick-” He gasped, scrambling back as the Viper went for him again. In his hurry to get away, he tripped and slammed headfirst into the pavement. He heard the clatter of his comm link falling out of his ear and hitting the ground, as the Viper teeth sank into the fleshy skin of the back of his knee.
He cried out and yanked, the teeth tearing his flesh as he broke free and, with sheer tenacity, reached out and pulled Darklance towards him. The Viper reared up, bearing down on him, and he let out a hiss of his own and pounded three bullets into her chest, her ribs exploding in blood and venom.
Despite the pain in his leg, Gur-Rai stood. “Outrider, what’s the plan?”
Outrider⁠—Elena⁠—looked green and her eyes were unfocused. Mox leaned down and helped her to her feet, and she kept most of her weight on him. “The venom, it’s…”
“I know.” He could already feel his leg tingling, and it was getting hard to breathe. “What’s the plan, Elena?”
She shook her head. To clear it? Maybe. But she didn’t say anything after. Mox was practically carrying her.
“Cruzita.” Mox called.
“Down here!” She called through the comm. Something was squelching in the background.
“How many more snakes do you suspect there are?”
“Probably two…” She paused. “Lars says three. I already have enough for a whole new wardrobe.”
“No, at least four.” Lars clarified. “I took down another one that was coming up behind me.”
“We must evacuate.” Mox said. “Elena needs medical attention.”
“I’m fi-” She broke off, her head lolling briefly. Mox caught her before she fell. “I’m okay…”
“You’re not.” Gur-Rai insisted. “And I’m not. And my comm is dead.”
“Firebrand is watching.” Mox said. “Do we have a flare?”
“I have a gun.” He said. “Not sure she’ll see it though.”
“Do we have antivenom?” Cruzita called from below.
Gur-Rai shook his head. “I probably should have thought to bring some.”
Mox growled, holding Elena close to him. “We must seek medical attention. Lars, Cruzita, begin scouring the area for supplies. Anything that can be used to slow poison.”
“I see planes on the horizon.” Lars said.
“No doubt they’re bringing in reinforcements.” Mox said. “We must retreat.”
Gur-Rai set up beside the two with his rifle poised. “Well then, get ready to shoot your way out of here.”
.
.
Malinalli caught a stray dribble of Aloe Vera as she slathered it on the remains of Dhar-Mon’s open wounds. He insisted they no longer hurt, but she could feel him relax as she did this. The unclenching of his muscles was noticeable.
“Has anyone ever tended to these?” She asked.
“...No.” He admitted.
“Not...not even the priests? Your own servants?”
“They were the Elders’ markings.” Dhar-Mon said, almost leaning back into her touch. “And thus, if they left scars, they were meant to remain untreated, reminders of my failure.”
Malinalli swallowed the lump in her throat. “...I’m so sorry…”
“Do not apologize, little phantom.” He smiled back at her. “Your presence makes me forget the pain.”
She blinked, then smiled at him. “I’m happy…” She said softly. “I’m happy you say that…”
He turned back around, and she laid her fingers in the crevice of one particularly deep scar, her finger tracing half-dead tissue. Running it down his back, she felt that prickling again. She closed her eyes, just working up the courage to keep going, keep looking at all this. It was so horrible.
When Malinalli opened her eyes, she gasped. “The cuts!”
Dhar-Mon cried out, not so much in pain, as in surprise. As Malinalli watched, the tips of her fingers glowed with the deep blue-green of her own psionic power. Around her hand, the skin began to shift, molding itself back together, enclosing the long exposed flesh. She dared not move as the largest gash finally fused back together, a faint line the only trace it was ever there.
“Oh my god…” She whispered. “...Tell me you felt that.”
“What was it?” Dhar-Mon asked. “I felt...tingling.”
“Your cut just...It just…” She covered her mouth. “It’s healed. It’s gone.”
“What?!” He jumped up, forgetting his robe had fallen off, and ran to the bathroom, turning to look at his back in the mirror. “...Nalla itzar…” He whispered. “Malinalli, you…” He looked at her, smiling widely with tears in his eyes.
She burst out laughing, her own face wet, and jumped up, running to him and throwing herself into his arms for a hug. “I healed you! I healed you!”
Dhar-Mon picked her up off the ground and squeezed her. “Thank you little phantom…” As his faculties returned to him, he quickly dropped her and grabbed a towel, wrapping it about his waist. “I-I am so sorry, I-”
“No, it’s fine, it’s fine!” She giggled. “We’ve seen each other naked before, it’s fine.” She wrapped her arm around and felt his back again. “How did I do that…?”
“You have an aura of healing.” He chuckled. “I do not know…perhaps your psionics are stronger than I once thought…”
“Psionics…” Malinalli began to look around. “Hey, do you have something sharp?”
“What do you need something sharp for?” He looked wary.
“Nevermind. Let me…” Malinalli rolled her sleeve up and bit down on her arm. She cried out a little bit as she drew blood, then held out her hand. “Try it, Dhar-Mon. Try and heal me.”
“Why would you do that?!”
“So I can test it! I have an idea! If it is psionics then you can do it too!” She nodded. “So give it a shot. Try and heal me.”
“What if I can’t?!”
“Then I’ll put a band-aid on it, I’m a nurse.” She took his hand and laced it with her own. “Just give it a try, Dhar-Mon.”
He sighed loudly and patted her arm. There it was, the tingling. “It will not work.”
“Yes it will.” She winked. “I know it~”
.
.
“Tomko…?”
Gur-Rai shook his head to clear the fog that was coming in. He could feel the venom in his veins, blurring his vision and leaving him sluggish and slow. His alien blood could synthesize it better. It probably wouldn’t kill him. Probably. Elena however…
He looked over at the sound of her voice. She lay back against the wall, her shoulder wound already beginning to ooze. Her eyes were clouded, pale grey in this cold orange light. Gur-Rai raised a brow and, reaching up, lowered his hood. “Elena…”
She blinked at him, slowly. “No.” She hissed. “You’re not him.”
“I know.” He put his hood back up. “I’m not trying to be.”
“I don’t want you back.” She spat, her voice shaking. “You’re not him, not anymore. And it’s too late.”
“I know Elena.” He growled. His whole body was burning and this was not helping.
“I hate you.” She said, and this time he heard her voice breaking. “I hate you because you took Tomko. You killed him. You killed him and took him away from me…”
Gur-Rai turned to look at her again. “How did I kill him, Elena?”
“You…” She searched her venom saturated mind for an answer that made sense. “You’re wearing his skin…”
“No. He’s wearing mine.” Gur-Rai hissed. “Tomko is the foundation I am built on. I WAS Tomko, Elena, you know it and so do I.”
That seemed to startle her, even scare her, and her eyes filled with tears. “...Why did you kill him…?”
“Because fate is a cruel bitch.” The Darkstrider snarled. “Maybe it was chance, wrong place, wrong time. Or maybe Tomko was always destined to end up in the tank, and from the moment he was born your love was doomed. But however it happened, it’s OVER, Elena. Tomko is dead; for the love of the stars, let him die with some FUCKING DIGNITY.”
Elena seemed to crumble at that, large hot tears streaming down her face. “I miss him…”
He turned away. “Yeah. I miss him too.”
“Darkstrider.” Mox hissed into his comm. “I have visual of the second pod.”
“Finally some good news.” Gur-Rai rubbed his eyes. If he’d had a stomach, he’d have felt like throwing up by now. Instead, he just felt like someone was rearranging his organs. “Elena is down for the count.”
The silence that followed conveyed Mox’s fear. “And you?”
“I can shoot.” He assured him. “Just...don’t expect heroics.”
“I will not expect much.” Mox assured him. “Lars and Cruzita, get into an overwatch position.”
“Yessir.” Cruzita sang. Gur-Rai saw her and Lars each get on either side of an awning, just as three Vipers and a Sectoid came marching down the street.
Only three? That seemed odd. Gur-Rai felt that prickling on his skin again. “Be careful, you two.”
“Careful?” Cruzita giggled. “Never heard of-” Her words morphed into a scream as the awning came down, sending them tumbling into the grasp of the Sectoid and two Vipers.
“Shitshitshitshit!” Gur-Rai fired off one shot blind and, off course, missed. But he did manage to draw the Sectoid’s attention, who turned and, upon seeing him, let out a screech that shook him to his core.
“MOX!” He screamed, reaching for Elena. “TIME TO RUN!”
“No…” Elena tried to wriggle out of his grip, obviously delirious. “No, not without Tomko…!”
“Tomko is dead!” Gur-Rai hissed.
“No, they took Tomko!” She screamed and pulled away. “I have to save him!”
“Elena!” Gur-Rai snapped. “You have a husband, remember?! A husband that ain’t Tomko! Even if he were alive-”
“I know that!” She screeched, her voice wavering as she tried to balance her rifle on her torn shoulder and aim for the Sectoid. “But he’s more!”
“More than WHAT?!” Gur-Rai yanked the gun away. “This isn’t the time to be star crossed lovers!”
“I let him go!” She cried. “It’s my fault he is gone! It’s my fault they took him! I can’t let him die again!” She tried to grab the gun, slipped and fell. Gur-Rai caught her arm and lowered her slowly, watching as she dissolved into tears.
“...It’s not your fault, Elena.” He whispered. He knelt down beside her, and looked into her eyes. “...I’m Tomko.”
Her unfocused gaze turned to him. “...Tomko…?” She smiled.
“Yep.” He smirked. “And I’m gonna hold off the Vipers for you. Your husband is coming, so go with him ok?”
Elena blinked. “...I’m married now…” She looked so happy, and yet so sad. “I didn’t wait for you…”
“I didn’t want you to…” He wasn’t sure if it was the venom that was making him dizzy, but he felt light headed. “Just go, Elena. You don’t have to save me.” He stood up. “I can do that myself.”
There were footsteps behind him, and Mox came running up, obviously out of breath. The second Elena saw him, her eyes lit up and she crawled to him, throwing her arms around his neck as he knelt down. “My love…” She whispered.
“I have made contact with Firebrand.” Mox panted. “She is en route. We must move to the rooftop of the building with the large “Staples” sign.”
“Gotcha.” Gur-Rai shifted, his leg nearly collapsing in on itself from the pain. He could feel his wound swelling but also knew if he took off his boot to look, he’d never get it back on again, so he hoped and prayed that the pressure applied somehow helped. 
“I love you, Pratal…” Elena whimpered as Mox lifted her into his arms.
“And I love you Elena…” Mox hesitated. “Cruzita and Lars are in position.”
“Good.” Gur-Rai looked out over the dark streets. “I’ll cover you while you get Elena there.”
“Are you certain?”
“No.” He sighed. “But it’s the least I can do for dying.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Nothing.”
.
.
“You have done so much, Commander.” Kon-Mai mused, watching as Senuna played with the accessible buttons on the phone. “And you have learned so much. An intelligent woman like you; why did you not strive for a doctorate as well?”
“Eh.” Senuna shrugged. “Maybe I would’ve, given more time. It just takes so long and...normal things don’t hold my interest for very long.” She chuckled.
“And yet, XCOM?” Kon-Mai raised a brow.
“You could say XCOM was a family business.” She giggled. “My father founded it, it was only natural I take over~”
“Your father…?” It was strange to hear that. “I’ve never heard you discuss your family before, Commander.”
“Well, he wasn’t my 'biological’ father: I was adopted, you see. But he raised me, taught me everything I know...everything Earth had to offer.” She leaned on her hand. “You know he was a Doctor, he would have loved for me to get a doctorate but...that just ain’t me.”
Kon-Mai wanted to ask who WAS the Commander then. Who was Senuna, the woman who sat before her? But it all felt so intrusive. It was all right there on the surface and yet, still it felt as though Kon-Mai was unintentionally twisting the knife in an already deep wound.
“How did you convince Dr. Vahlen to join XCOM?” She asked, trying to change the subject back to something light hearted.
“Oh, that was difficult. You know she was actually scared? Vahlen! Scared!” Senuna laughed. “It’s so funny to think...I think she was afraid to leave the family she’d built in Ireland. But things were starting to head south with her boyfriend, and she has a tendency to cut ties and run.” Senuna shrugged. “I convinced her to leave. It was hard for her to go, but she was happier here. And she was the best Chief Scientist we ever had before Tygan.”
Kon-Mai nodded, smiling whimsically. “You must miss her…”
“...Yeah.” Senuna sniffled. “Every day.” She went to stand up. “We should probably get going.”
“Going…?”
“If you want to greet your brother on his return.” Senuna chuckled. “Firebrand is coming back.”
“I had not realized!” Kon-Mai straightened up. “Will you lead, Commander?”
“I’ll poke my head in, since I’m already heading that way.” She turned to the door. “What about you?”
Kon-Mai looked puzzled. “Who are you…?”
“Not you.” Senuna winked and cupped her hands over her mouth. “Wanna join us, Jane?”
Kon-Mai looked at the empty doorway...no. Not empty. Something was there…a wisp of brown hair as the shadow pulled away. “Major Kelly?”
Slowly, Jane Kelly poked her head out from around the corner and stood at attention, completely silent.
“Were you listening the whole time?” Senuna laughed. “You could have joined us!”
“I apologize, Commander.” Was all Jane said. “I became...wrapped up in the stories.”
Senuna raised a brow. “...About Vahlen?”
“...Yes, Madam.”
“Hm. You would, huh?” She approached Jane slowly. “Don’t flinch, child, you’re not in trouble.”
Jane nodded, but Kon-Mai saw her face turning red.
“Konnie, go ahead without me.” She turned back to Kon-Mai. “I’ll meet you there.”
“Yes, Commander.” Kon-Mai bowed and pushed past the two. As she left, she heard Senuna whispering something to Jane, in a voice barely above silence.
“She’d be proud of you. You know that, right?”
Kon-Mai held her head high and went on her way.
.
.
Dhar-Mon watched in wonder as the wound on Malinalli’s arm began to shimmer, then the skin stretched and closed itself back together. At first a scar remained, then even that faded, until all that was left was a slight discolored patch that was barely visible.
Malinalli looked up in wonder. “...Dhar-Mon. This is…”
“This is magic.” He said. He had known psionics could do a lot: they could bend the will of even the strongest mind or tear apart space itself, but...heal? He had never known this cosmic energy to be able to regenerate.
“Think of all the lives we could save!” She grabbed his hands. “We could teach others! Start a whole clinic based on psionic healing! She giggled. “You and me!”
“You and me?” He hesitated. “And you would want me there?”
“Of course! I lo…” There she went again, stopping herself. Her dark skin turned almost red as she blushed. “You’re my best friend.”
“And you are mine.” He smiled warmly. “My closest friend besides my siblings. I would trust you with my life, Molly.”
She pressed a hand to her cheek and beamed. “Thank you, Dhar-Mon, that’s all I ever want.” She straightened up. “We were supposed to go practice but-”
“Technically, we did.” He chuckled. “And we have developed something even greater because of it.”
“How about you get dressed then?” She giggled. “Your brother is coming back from his mission, we should show him our new trick.”
“He will undoubtedly need healing.” Dhar-Mon chuckled. “Let me dress myself, then I shall come along.”
“Mind if I wait in here? I won’t look.” She promised. She really wanted to look. But that would be weird.
“I suppose.” He chuckled. His hair was still in a braid. He decided to leave it.
.
.
The Darkstrider stepped off the Skyranger and into the arms of his sister, who was waiting for him. Her smile was worried, even more so when she saw Elena’s injuries. “What have you all done now?”
“Nothin’.” Gur-Rai muttered as he collapsed in her embrace. As soon as she had a good on him, his leg finally gave out, and damn near took the two of them to the ground together. Kon-Mai gave a yell of surprise that was mirrored by his brother’s voice, as Dhar-Mon and Malinalli entered the garage as well. Immediately, Kon-Mai called for the nurse, but he waved her aside.
“Outrider first.” He croaked. “Then me.”
“Outrider?!” Malinalli rushed onto the Skyranger. “Oh!”
Dhar-Mon knelt beside his brother. “He has been poisoned.”
“Viper venom. I’ll be fine.” He smiled. His teeth were chattering together and he couldn’t stop them.
“He’s burning up.” Kon-Mai snapped, laying her cool hands on his forehead. “We need antivenom. Get Tygan.”
“Wait, Sister…” Dhar-Mon held out his hand. “This...works for wounds. I do not know how it will work for poison…”
“What works?” She watched as Dhar-Mon lowered his hand over Gur-Rai.
“Where were you bitten?”
“Leg…” He coughed. “Left leg…”
“That one consistently gives you trouble…” Kon-Mai sighed.
Dhar-Mon picked up his leg and undid the Velcro on his armor, pulling down the legwarmer, then the boot. The wound was already inflamed and oozing, and the skin around it was beginning to turn black.
He pressed his bare palm to it, and within a moment, both Chosen felt the tingling of psionics. Gur-Rai reached up, grabbing Kon-Mai’s jacket and hissing with the discomfort this brought. Then, he suddenly relaxed.
The wound closed beneath Dhar-Mon’s touch. The swelling melted away, the regular blue pallor returning to Gur-Rai’s leg. Soon all that was left were two, fain bite marks.
Kon-Mai looked up at Dhar-Mon like he was made of gold. “How did you do this…?”
Dhar-Mon smiled. “Molly discovered it. I merely learned from her.” He stood up. “Molly! Do you need help?!”
“Her wounds are a lot worse!” Malinalli called. “But...I think I got her stable. Can someone get Tygan?”
“I will go!” Mox said. Then he stopped as Elena reached out and grabbed his arm. “I will not go!”
“I will.” Dhar-Mon stood. “He will want to hear about these...new talents of ours anyway.”
.
.
Back in the med bay, once again. This time, the lights were all off except for the one in Tygan’s little corner office. Gur-Rai bobbed his foot back and forth, side to side. It felt fine, but he was still running a fever from the venom, so Tygan had insisted on keeping him overnight, the absolute worrywort.
He looked over at Elena, in the bed beside him. She had been in much worse shape than him, having to get a blood transfusion due to the venom coursing through her. With that, and the antivenom they’d pumped her full of, she’d managed to pull through, but to be honest there had never been any doubt that she would make it. Mox was sitting beside her in an uncomfortable-looking chair, but he had drifted off and was snoring lightly.
“Hey.” Gur-Rai called quietly. “You awake?”
“Yes.” She said, turning to face him. “Unfortunately. “ Her entire arm was bandaged and wrapped in a sling, and her skin was pale. She had definitely taken the venom worse than he had.
There was a silence between the two, and Gur-Rai wanted to say something. “I’m sorry.” He said.
Elena growled. “Shut up.”
“Look, I’m try-” He began, but she cut him off.
“I’m the one who is sorry.” She hissed. “If I hadn’t...if I’d listened to you, this wouldn’t have happened and I wouldn’t be in hospice right now.” She sighed and laid her head on the pillow. “...I’ve been cruel to you this whole time.”
“Well, I’m sorry for dying on you.” He said. “That was pretty rude of me.”
Elena’s eyes went wide. “...Darkstrider, how much...do you remember?”
“About?”
“...About Tomko.” He could read her face. She had meant to say, “about me.”
He looked up at the ceiling. “I remember you.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah.” He raised a hand to his lips. “...We were a couple.”
“..Yes. We were.” She sounded so broken. “And I...I loved-” She covered her mouth, leaving the sentence to hang.
“I know.” He sighed. “You loved Tomko.”
“You're just like him.” She sobbed softly. “You talk just like him, you act like him, whenever I look at you…it’s like he’s back and…” Her voice was shaking but so silent, Gur-Rai had to strain to hear her. “I’m happy with Pratal, I love him so much, but I feel so cheated whenever I look at you, I look and think...you should be Tomko.”
He nodded. “You’re right.” He said. “I should be Tomko.” He turned on his side to face her. “What the Elders did...it was a fucking crime. And it can’t be forgiven or undone.” He looked her in the eye, his glowing irises cutting through the darkness. “But there’s no future for us, Elena. Not anymore.”
“I know.” She sniffled. “I’ll never regret marrying Pratal. Just...if they hadn’t taken you...do you think there was? Do you think…?” She let it hang.
He waited for a moment, breathing deeply. The silence was enough to destroy them both.Then he spoke. 
“No.” He said. “Sorry, Elena...we were young. We were in a war. We were excited and...it all caught up to us.” He looked at her. “I loved you in the moment. And maybe Tomko always will. But we’d never have worked out.”
He heard her sob almost silently, and she turned away from him for a moment. And for a second he wondered if she was going to kill him. Wouldn’t that be a good way to die. He always knew it’d be at the hands of one of his lovers.
Then she looked up and, for once, her eyes were smiling. “That’s all I needed to hear.” She said.
“...It was?”
“Yes.” She said, turning toward Mox, who was still sleeping. “Tomko is gone now. We’re not…” She took his hand, and in his sleep Mox squeezed hers. “I’m not. And he’s not.”
“See? There you go.” Gur-Rai gestured to the still sleeping Mox. “You two were meant for each other.”
“I suppose we are. Fate does have a strange way of operating.”
“Kind of like us Reapers.” He chuckled, turning over so she couldn’t see his face. 
He felt terrible for lying to her, for saying they had no future. For not telling her that, if Tomko had lived, he would have followed Elena through Hell and back. That Tomko would always love her, even in death. That he regretted not asking for her hand while he was alive...
But that was all in the past now. She was happy. And that was more than he’d ever wanted in this world.
.
.
The Sectoid that limped into the chamber, accompanied by two guards, immediately drew Vox Imdugud’s attention. He straightened his crippled back and floated over, looking down at the pathetic slave creature. “You have news for me of great importance.”
The Sectoid nodded, dropping to it’s knees. “Vox Zagre is alive.” The pulses from it’s mind were frantic and almost painful. “Please warn the others. The Chosen live, and they have betrayed us all.”
.
.
.
.
.
(The beginning of this chapter sees our gang returning from their previous mission and handing over Vahlen’s phone to Senuna, who sends it to Shen to be hacked. The next morning, Malinalli comes to visit Dhar-Mon and braid his hair, while Elena and Mox prepare for another mission with their former arch nemesis. Kon-Mai begins investigating the abandoned phone and, upon being found by Senuna, begins talking with the Commander about her past with Vahlen. The two met in college, and partook in many wild adventures before Vahlen went to South Ireland for a Masters program. On the Reaper’s mission, Gur-Rai meets two other Reapers, Cruzita de Vries and Lars Velasco, and Elena is obviously still holding a grudge against the Chosen, making it hard for the two to work together. Soon, they are ambushed by Vipers, leading to both Gur-Rai and Elena being wounded. On the subject of wounds, Malinalli finds old scars on Dhar-Mon’s back from his days with the Elders, and accidentally discovers that her psionics have the power to heal injuries. Still out in danger, Elena talks with Gur-Rai as though he were his human self, Tomko, and the two argue until they are extracted by Firebrand, leaving the last pod unkilled. Kon-Mai and Senuna leave to welcome Gur-Rai home, but Senuna is distracted by Jane Kelly, who was listening in on their conversation about Vahlen. Upon returning, Gur-Rai collapsed and Dhar-Mon uses his new psionic healing to treat his brother’s leg wound. Elena and Gur-Rai are transferred to the infirmary, where they talk about the past, and eventually come to an understanding.
Long one today, and I feel it was too brief in parts. But do let me know what you think!)
Archive: chosenstories.tumblr.com/
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wc-ff · 4 years
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VII.
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Agents Morris and Steele were under a lot of pressure being that the two women they had just found brutally murdered in an abandoned home were the immediate family members of the mayor. One of the most important men in the city. The case was highly publicized for that reason and the media had constantly made up more crazy theories about what had happened every other day. They couldn’t even walk out of the precinct without being flooded by reporters that wanted to know if they had found any suspects yet.
It had been almost a week since the double homicide and the two detectives could tell that the press wasn’t going to die down any time soon. Especially not with the mayor still speaking out about it.
The phone they had found as evidence was fingerprinted that same day, but they couldn’t find a match out of the millions of people in their database. So now, they were just trying to get the phone to turn on. It had gotten pretty damaged when it crashed down onto the concrete and was left there overnight. But it was the only major key that they had.
They knew that whoever owned that phone would most likely be vital in figuring out the killer and closing the case for good. Everything they needed was right in the palms of their hands but they just couldn’t quite get ahold of it.
“Have you tried putting it in rice?” Ronald questioned with a loud snort causing Sandra to cut her eyes at him menacingly.
This was constantly her issue with him; he was never serious when he needed to be and it drove her crazy. “This isn’t a joke, Ronald. The entire city is depending on us to find out who killed these girls and this phone is literally the only thing we have that can get us there. Now, are you gonna keep fucking around or are you actually gonna do your damn job?”
Morris took the seat beside her with an annoyed huff but decided against saying anything at that moment. He was beginning to learn Sandra and one thing he figured out was that he had to choose his battles with her. He didn’t mind taking one small loss if it meant an even greater victory in the future, so he was going to keep his mouth shut for now.
“What do you want me to do, eh? Use my special mind powers to make it work or somethin’?” He shot back sarcastically, his strong Italian accent shining through with each word he spoke.
“Yes, Ronald. It’s called a brain.” Steele retorted sternly with the roll of her eyes as her head shook from side to side in disapproval. She swore she was one more formal complaint away from being banned from filing any more.
She had been trying to get the phone to charge and turn on for the past several days but to no avail. The phone had clearly endured a lot of damage due to the hard fall it took against the asphalt. She let out a frustrated sigh as Agent Morris sat quietly beside her since she had deemed all of his ideas to get the phone working were ‘idiotic’ or 'unintelligible.’ It was why he barely put any effort into helping her and would just try it out on his own time.
Sandra had a way of demeaning the men she came in contact with. She loved emasculating them and crushing their unnecessarily oversized egos. She felt that she could do anything that a man could do, if not better so there was no need to submit to them or make their lives easier. They didn’t need to be catered to.
She hadn’t had a boyfriend since she was in college and she was fine with that. She didn’t need a man to feel happy or better about herself. She was a strong willed woman and it showed.
But at that moment, she had just about given up on trying to get the cell phone to work. It seemed hopeless.
Sandra sighed and threw the phone back down onto the table as she frustratedly ran her hand through her slick black hair. “This crap is useless.”
“You tried taking out the SIM card?” Ronald spoke absentmindedly as he picked at the slight amount of dirt in his nails. He was big on keeping his hands and nails clean just in case he needed to use them later on in the after hours.
“Yes, but this damn phone just won’t open up.” She retorted, attempting to pry the back of the phone off from the rest of the device once again.
Agent Morris looked over at the cracked iPhone sitting on the table with a raised brow. All of a sudden, a crippling laughter overtook his body as he struggled to breathe, slapping his knees multiple times. He had forgot she was a damn Android user. As far as he knew, her phone still had a battery sitting inside of it.
Sandra gave him a stern glare, feeling as if he was making fun of her and she didn’t like it. It seemed as if she was the only one that was actually trying to solve this case. If she brought the suspect down, it would be the highlight of her career and she’d be damned if she allowed Ronald to mess that up for her.
“Oh, sweetheart.” Morris taunted her in a condescending tone. “iPhone’s don’t open up. You need something small and sharp to get the SIM card out.”
Amusement was laced in his voice and it was obviously making his partner’s blood boil. He was enjoying every moment of it after hearing her attempts to tear him down all day.
Instead of waiting for her though, he took it upon himself to grab the phone from off of the charger it was on and reach over to Sandra’s ear to remove one of her small stud earrings. She looked as if she was a lioness ready to attack her prey with every movement he made, but he just ignored her and continued to remove the SIM card from the broken phone. It would have all of the information they needed.
To make things easier, Agent Morris decided to use his own phone for further investigation since his was already unlocked from any specific phone company and removed his own SIM card before inserting the other one. Once that was done, he allowed everything from the card to settle into the phone in time before they began to copy down the person who owned the phone’s information.
They were able to grab the suspect’s phone number, carrier the phone was paid under, and billing information, which in turn held the phone owner’s name.
“Sage Medina… let’s see if the name comes up in our database.” Sandra spoke from over Ronald’s shoulder as he continued to scroll through his phone with a chance of anything else they might find.
Agent Steele moved over and sat in front of one of the hefty computers, typing in the name she had just repeated mere seconds ago. Her heart hammered in her chest as she impatiently waited to see the results, a small frown growing on her face once their database came up empty meaning that whoever’s phone it was didn’t have a criminal record themselves. This was making their jobs much harder than it had to be.
They now would have to go to the surrounding areas asking people if they recognized the name, especially since both of the detectives had no clue what this Sage person looked like. But it was a step closer in the direction they needed to be in if they were going to solve this case and neither one of them could rest until they did.
They wasted no time in gathering their things and making their rounds in a cop car that Sandra decided to drive. She was very cautious about who she hopped in a car with and she didn’t trust Ronald to get her anywhere safely in the slightest.
The two detectives visited restaurants, convenience stores, retail shops, and houses in the surrounding areas of the crime scene asking pedestrians if they knew of this Sage person. No one seemed to know who the individual was. It was almost as if having her name was a dead end in itself.
As they knocked on the last door on the block, Ronald gave Sandra a slightly discouraged look feeling as if this lead would have gotten them so far but also nowhere. She stared back at him expressionless, but she wasn’t feeling too good about how things were looking either.
They both turned their attentions back to the door once they heard it unlock, swinging open only moments later as a petite, caramel toned woman came into the frame. “Can I help you?”
“Hi, my name is Agent Steele and this is my partner here, Agent Morris.” Ronald gave a slight wave to the woman as he took in her figure and Sandra continued to speak, explaining the situation to her.
Her toes were painted a clean cocaine white and her smooth cocoa butter covered legs could be seen glistening even to the dullest of eyes due to the skin tight white shorts she was wearing. An oversized blue jersey was clad on her body and her natural hair was up into a curly puff. She wasn’t even trying in the slightest, but she was beautiful.
Ronald had already tuned his partner out by now as the woman invited them inside. They sat in her living room, her home smelling strongly of incense.
“You said you’re looking for Sage Medina, huh?” The gorgeous woman questioned as they all took a seat, one of her legs gracefully crossing over the other. “Yea, I know that bitch.”
The two detectives glanced at each other in shock, not expecting the harshness of her words to flow out so quickly. This woman obviously didn’t like the girl, which could have meant either a good thing or a bad thing for them. Only time would tell.
“She’s my boyfriend’s best friend and let me just say, shorty got a nasty attitude.” Chantell continued to rant off as Sandra turned to raise a brow at Ronald.
It could have meant something but it wasn’t like everyone with a bad attitude committed murder. Though, Steele knew it was something she should keep in mind, especially when it came time to profile this person of interest.
“Do you know where Sage lives?” Sandra interrogated further as she pointedly wrote a few quick notes down on her notepad.
Chantell shook her head. “Nope. You would have to ask De'Angelo about that. If I did know where she lived, I would have been pulled up on her.”
The two detectives shared another look, realizing how rowdy this girl was becoming. She was getting hype as if Sage was right in front of her. Though, they didn’t allow that to hinder their investigation as they asked a few more questions about the woman’s appearance before getting the boyfriend’s information so they’d be able to question him. Sandra recognized the description of Sage to be awfully familiar, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on who it could have been.
Agents Morris and Steele began to gather their things as they thanked Chantell for her time, both of them sharing a handshake with her. Sandra started towards the door with purpose, but Ronald hung back a bit as he slid one of his contact cards out of his front shirt pocket.
“If you ever find out any new information on her or her whereabouts or need anything else in general, don’t be afraid to let us know.” His tone was professional but low as he handed her the small rectangular paper.
Chantell had noticed the detective eyeing her from the time she opened the door and she couldn’t say she didn’t appreciate the attention. It might have been a good idea to have him in her corner. After all, he was law enforcement.
She slightly tilted her head with the bat of her long mink eyelashes, her bottom lip loosely embedded between her teeth as their fingers brushed up against each other lightly. “I’ll make sure I call if anything comes up.” Her voice was smooth and enticing, like a siren singing to trap her man.
Ronald could nearly feel the blood beginning to rush to his lower half and at that moment, he knew he needed to get out of there before he did something else that gave Sandra a reason to report him. The thoughts that were now running through his mind were enough to make her write up a full page on him. He cleared his throat and Chantell smiled, knowing good and well that she was already making him weak. “You have a nice rest of your day, ma'am.”
“You too, Agent Morris.”
*******
Sage grabbed the brand new phone she had bought for herself a few days ago off her dresser due to her receiving an incoming call. A small smile graced her face once she saw her best friend’s name flash across the screen.
She had been pulling double shifts for the past few days to make up for the money she had to spend to buy herself a new phone, so they had barely seen each other and she honestly missed getting on his nerves. The good thing about working so much was that it kept her mind off of her troubling situation.
“Nigga who you is calling my girl phone?” Sage answered the call in the deepest voice she could muster up.
She could hear De'Angelo suck his teeth on the other end of the line. “Sage, I ain’t 'bout to play with your ass.” He shot back causing them both to burst out into a fit of laughter.
“How’d you know it was me?” She asked in between her laughs. “I wasn’t aggressive enough, huh? I should have called you a bitch.”
That only caused her best friend to chuckle even more. She knew that was one word he hated with a passion because he heard his father call his mother that so many times while he was growing up. It was then that he vowed to never call a woman out of her name; hearing it always took him back to when he was a helpless little boy. “Now, you know damn well you wouldn’t sound like a nigga even if you did call me that.”
Sage huffed lowly at her failed attempt, playfully rolling her eyes as if he could see her. She actually thought she did pretty well. Her voice was giving her very much manly vibes.
“Aye, but look. The feds just left my house and they were asking all kinds of questions about you.” De'Angelo just ripped the bandaid off as well as he could. He didn’t want to beat around the bush because he knew how her anxiety could get and this was bad enough news as it is.
Her heart immediately sunk to the pit of her stomach as she processed his words, the thoughts she was trying to push to the back of her head now rushing forward all at once. She gulped hard, but it did nothing for the desert-like dryness she could feel in the back of her throat. “How—What did they say?” She struggled to form her words correctly, her mind racing wildly as her heart pumped so hard that it shook her entire body.
“They were talking about the murder of those two girls… but I told them that you’ve been my friend since elementary and that there was no way you could do something like that. But I know they’re still gonna wanna talk to you about it so I just wanted to give you a heads up first.”
Sage buried her head in her hands for a second before she quickly removed them to hold her phone up closer to her mouth so he could hear her clearly. “How’d they find you? Why didn’t they just come to me to begin with?”
“That, I honestly don’t know Sage.” De'Angelo paused to think back for a minute or two. “Don’t they have your phone? Maybe that’s how.”
She sighed and stood up, beginning to nervously pace the floor as she subconsciously gnawed on the sides of her cheeks. The taste of blood filled her mouth instantly. “But that still doesn’t make sense on why they came to you. You have enough going on and I’m not trying to get you involved in this.”
“There’s nothing that could ever be going on with me to where I wouldn’t be there for you and you know that. If I could, I’d make this all go away for you but I can’t. So, all I can do is the best I can to comfort you when you’re down and help you out when you need it.”
Salty tears began to cascade down Sage’s cheeks as she remained silent. She didn’t want him to know that she was crying because it was a mix of appreciation that he was there for her and also being scared shitless. So, she wasn’t sure whether she could say they were happy tears or sad tears.
“Sage…” De'Angelo called out to her to make sure that she was still on the line. “You ok?”
She quickly wiped the clear liquid from her face and cleared her throat to rid her of that bubble forming in the back of it. “Yea, I’m good. I didn’t do anything so I’ll be fine.” She wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince him of that or herself. She wasn’t sure about anything.
“You need me to come over?” He questioned, honestly hoping she would say yes. Chantell still wasn’t responding to him and he knew that he and Sage both needed to relax and relieve a bit of stress. When they were with each other, they forgot all about their other problems and they needed that in that moment.
“No, I’m just gonna head to sleep.” She responded, her eyes continuously leaking fluids.
Her main goal right now was not bringing anybody else down with her if it came down to it and that meant their spirits too. She felt she had already cried to him about the situation too much and didn’t want to seem annoying or overly emotional, so she just decided to handle this one herself. The fact that she was even still crying had angered her alone.
“Oh, well alright.” De'Angelo’s voice was evidently laced with disappointment but he would respect her choice anyway. “Sweet dreams then and if you need anything, call me.”
She nodded more so to herself and without saying another word, she ended the call before allowing the second wave of tears to come rushing out.
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