#i forgive him though bc he's my bff <3

[colecassiidy]

//this is... a very very long post- please be advised before opening that read more h a h

//looking at all my ooc posts on the tra.uma of w.ar that happened to the kid and?? There's so much to untangle bc, yknow, his respect for ana would be in how crafty and resourceful she is on top of her being a good shot resonating with how he was post-foster-system-now-a-runaway (lmao vs the kindred soul with gjdks hana bc they would have actually been asshole bffs if theyd been born in the same generation).

His time in the foster system causing him to distrust authority moreso than he already had been?? how this influences his distrust in his time in bw and how working through it to accept reyes (and potentially jack) as proper mentor figures was a genuine triumph and how it falling apart pressed open a sealed up scar and broke it open and poured in salt.

How he was always a bit of a shit-stirring troublemaker, an adrenaline-addicted hot-headed thrill seeker, and has always known violence, before doomsday happened, and the way said doomsday, after a period of reticence, raked all those qualities into these bristling burs.

How he's always been a good shot, but when j.udgment day happened, he'd FAILED; how his hands SHOOK against that handle unable to bear the desperation drumming a war beat with adrenaline (i don't think i've ever explicitly mentioned how he personally witnessed the death of his parents; that he held the key to their survival and missed and failed to save them; that there is no removing that self-blame for what happened because he had that shot). And how this spearheaded a three-pronged result of: 1) disowning his own name out of self-hatred and scorn and disgust (re: all of my blabberings on blood baptisms and burials), 2) resolving to never miss again 3) a deep-rooted instinct in protecting the weak because he REFUSES to see somebody in the same situation of vulnerability as he was put in

How, while concussed and head bearing an ugly open wound, as he watched his father be held at gunpoint by om.nics, the feeling of self-conflict arose-- how for the briefest second he thought maybe this is g.od giving the man his dues, how maybe this is what was meant to happen, (versus how he also knows that there are men and women and families running to hide in the chapel; praying for sanctuary, praying for peace, praying for safety; burning alive and screaming)

how this day is perhaps the closest thing he has ever felt to the visceral sense of g.od, in this act of violent apocalypse, being left so bare and raw.

how, in years into the future, putting away the mantel of je.sse mcc.ree was a self-apology (an acceptance of the fury that came with the grief) and how exhuming his name as cole cas.sidy was self-forgiveness.

(for everything that's happened to him, he's actually pretty stable and self-accepting these days. he can be honest to himself about the things that he did and the things that happened to him; it... doesn't burden him as much as it did when he was a younger man. he just Lives on the Razor's Edge of the Absolute Present, casually expecting death like an old friend for all the shit he stumbles into or instigates; there's an argument here that reyes took in a kid and formed him down a path that he cannot leave, but i argue that there's plenty of cassidy that would have gone down that path anyway and reyes-- reyes flipped the damn script from criminal to doing ""service""; i think he leveraged a crucial point because i don't think my depiction of cassidy would have ever been able to properly rehabilitate into a normie civilian life [granted that his sentence would have been life to super-max anyway] and i draw that from the fact that he got fired from that diner job even though i point at it and go 'haha funny.' in that sense, it's a vague j.ohnny l.awrence vibe, but also isn't. He's bound for trouble, it's deeply ingrained to his blood and bone, and the bastard thing about it is that he loves it and lives it no matter how much it also sometimes sucks.)

how these themes on killing-the-self enables him to begrudgingly forgive the false deaths of the people he trusted; because he knows self-death. how this doesn't soothe the disappointment that he's been left at the wayside, despite his bitter acceptance of it because he knows abandonment too. he does not hold it against them because even though it hurts, nothing will ever wound him in the way that that war did.

this doesn't even begin to touch?? the lil bit of chum i threw out earlier on his self-conflicts because LOYALTY is such a huge thing considering all of the canon implications that present itself with Deadlock and BW. my personal take is that deadlock fell apart on him over a mutual betrayal with end-game being that he was left to die and rot and him still there crushing the word loyalty between his hands desperately like a life-line; to this day, he will not give up Ashe or anyone else no matter how wary he is of her because he is Just as Sentimental (in the equivalent of how she still has that cute little [torn and put back together] picture she has on her bike) despite all of the little scars riddling the bridge between them. Deadlock disowned him. That said, everything's Very Complicated and he's Unfortunately a Very Self-Contradictory Man, so using Deadlock to rescue echo (who, at this point, he would have held a greater sense of doing right by), was perhaps a little act of vindictive self-satisfaction. i see their bickering in the the current ow dialogue as akin to sibling antagonism - but it sort of pains me to think that once upon a time they probably said this sort of shit to each other in genuine shoot-the-shit fashion.

#hc: head up in the clouds;; #//hello yes this blog holds themes of ch.ri.stian g..od #//even tho cass himself does not identify as somebody re.ligious #//i realized i never actually explicitly stated that one of the key aspects to my depiction is that he missed his shot trying to save his #//family during the omnic war and how that drives him to be an absolute monster with his revolver today #//and i started this off going 'so u know that post that jokes abt ur entire personality being a trauma response' #//and now i am here with many many words oopsie daisy #//arguably i could put this in his about #//but i think these are peripheral details - i might add and pretty this up later as a sort of master so #//there are less posts abt me literally walking arnd in a circle bc i never solidified what it is i'm talking abt in writing #//bc i write these throwaway posts then delete them then write them again and??? i dont think that's healthy hAH #//haven't even elaborated on jo.el cass.idy and his narcissistic behaviors impacting his development as a kid #//and how that too drives a certain element to his brand of loyalty

[charleswaterloo]

my cat scratched me by accident a few months ago and i’m so pale the scar is still purple. however i am simply in love with it - it looks like i was in a knife fight and won by like catching it inbetween my fingers or smthn. it’s like that very specific trope where someone asks the tough guy how he got his wicked looking scar and he’s like “frying onions”

#he scratched my hand with his back legs when i tried to put him in his carrier to take him to the vet #he got me GOOD too lmfao #blood mention #injury mention #i forgive him though bc he's my bff <3 #cat #cats #pet #scar mention #charleswaterloo says shit

[jiminrings]

HELLO MISS HANNAH! I AM HERE AGAIN JUST TO TELL YOU HOW I AM HOLDINg UP AFTER READING THE THIRD PART (again).

okay, so I just rambled in your comment section (is that what you call it) last night cause my mind was a mess 🥰 after reading it and I cried and then fell asleep :D

honestly, I first cried after reading the soomin part. it feels as if I know soomin myself after reading heartburn, so I felt the pain as if that actually happened irl. the "I saw y/n" part. yeah, I nearly lost it.

even though I kept saying "as he should" when jimin felt sad and realized his mistake and the pain and everything, I am glad he has realized his mistake, and can hopefully forgive himself like y/n did. being hung up on that will bring nothing but pain to him. and as much as he did the wrong thing, I think he deserves peace, happiness and love himself.

eunji can suck ass and choke on air for all I care. I don't even care though so.

I am quite happy to see y/n doing great. I liked how she didn't rush into a relationship with taehyung, took some time to heal and how she handled the news of Hoseok. I have no idea how it feels to know suddenly the existence of a half sibling, but it must have been hard to take it in. kinda like a mini earthquake maybe. knowing that someone you are supposed to know existed all this time. does that make sense?

the way you wrote the ending was just - it broke me while also making sense. I have a thing for reading angst, and let me tell you unrequited love ones hurt the most. but heartburn just came and BAM! decided to share the spot.

and let me tell you, the following lines JUST-

"You are Jimin’s favorite pain; his favorite ache and his favorite grief.

You are his favorite roof and his favorite warmth.

You are the only grasshopper.

You are his favorite lifetime if there are four — a lifetime with you is a lifetime he’s pick four times over; one that sows, one that waters, one that reaps, and one that consumes.

He can love you from afar.

You are Jimin’s religion.

There is a home within you."

writing soomin’s part was perhaps the most painful for me </3 i would risk it all for her actually 👍👍

u know what,,,, ME TOO BFF

eunji’s character is v interesting to write to me simply because she’s so flat 😭😭 no character development for her at all!!! love that for her </3

makes total sense!!! that’s why i kept emphasizing the three years bc miss girl oc went through like a decade of hurt in like a month alone

FULL CIRCLE MOMENT HEE-HEE I LOVE THEM FOR THAT!!!!

tysm for noticing n appreciating bae <3 am v sorry for making u cry bUT IM BRINGING OVER TISSUES RN :-D

#answered #heartburn feed #people i love

[literallyprentissstwin]

i‘m sorry ✨ | aaron hotchner x daughter!reader

this was requested by an Anon <3 

Prompt: #85 - “I wanted to apologize.” with Aaron Hotchner

Characters: Aaron Hotchner, Y/N Hotchner, Jack Hotchner, mention of Hayley Hotchner, Lola (BFF of Y/N), Jennifer Jareau, David Rossi

Warnings: none 

A/N: i worked really hard on this and i actually should be asleep by now bc of work tomorrow but i felt in the to write and please send me feedback! ily :))

wordcount: 2.424

„Still nothing?“, Lola asked Y/N, as the young teenage girl kept staring down on her phone.

„Nope. He didn´t reply or call.“, Y/N answered, sadness hiding in her big brown eyes. She had hoped so much that this one time her father would actually stay true to his word, but yet again, he broke his promise. Y/N wasn´t even surprised anymore.

„I´m gonna give him one last chance.“, she said as he dialed Hotch´s number again, hoping that her father would pick up and tell her that he´s on his way or that he´s just looking for a parking space. But nothing. He didn´t pick up.

Sighing deeply, Y/N hang up and turned her phone off.

„I´m sorry, Y/N/N.“, Lola tried to comfort her best friend who gave her a fake smile.

„It´s okay, I guess. He´s just busy saving the world which is more important.“, Y/N answered as she put her phone in her bag and grabbed her water bottle.

„But this isn´t right. You should be his number 1 priority. He promised to come tonight.“

„When did my father ever keep his promise?“, Y/N said as she walked towards the room of the room, „come on. Let´s go. We have somewhere to be.“, and with this the young girls got ready for their last cheerleading competition in highschool. A special event for which Y/N would have loved the presence of her father. But this would always remain a dream.

  Later as expected, Y/N came home from their victory celebration. They had won the competition with a perfect score. To celebrate, they went out to have dinner as a team. During this, Y/N completley forgot the time. During weekdays, she was supposed to be at home by 9. Now it was almost midnight. But Y/N found herself not caring about this. Her father didn´t care about her, so why should she care about pleasing him by coming home when he wanted her to? Carefully, Y/N put the key into the lock and tried to open the door as quiet as she could. When inside, she got rid of her shoes and jacket and placed her sports bag right next to her shoes. She then only grabbed her cell and went tot he kitchen to get something to drink when suddenly, the light turned on. Closing the fridge, she found her Dad standing opposite to her.

 „Care to tell me where you´ve been all night?“, he asked in his bossy voice.

Y/N rolled her eyes and tried to walk past her Dad who wasn´t having any of it and blocked her way.“

„Y/N, I think I asked you a question.“

„And I think you should find the answer to this question for yourself.“, Y/N hissed as she went to grab her bag. Right than and there, something inside Hotch´s mind clicked.

„Oh no..“, he groaned.

„Oh yes. I´m glad you´re remembering now, almost 6 hours after it.“

„Y/N, I´m…“

„Save it Dad! You´re not sorry. If you would be, you would finally change something. It´s not like we´re in this situation for the first time. I´m on this team ever since I joined Highschool 4 years ago and yet, you´ve only been tot wo competitions.“, Y/N argued, trying her best to keep her voice down, knowing that her little brother was upstairs sleeping. Jack didn´t need to her Y/N screaming at their Dad, which actually was, for once, at loss for words.

„Well, do you have anything to say about this or can I go up to my room now?“, the girl wondered as she stared at her father.

„I-I´m just…I´m sorry. You really need to believe me. I just forgot..work..it´s so busy and Strauss and I don´t know where my head is and I know this doesn´t make it better, but..“

„You´re right Dad! It´s actually making things worse! This was my last competition ever with this team. I´m graduating soon and there won´t be any more chances to see me compete. You missed the final chance. I told you how important this was for me and yet again you broke your promise….how in the world am I supposed to believe you that you care about me..about us?“, the girl hissed angrily, tears gathering in her eyes, which she tried so hard to hold back.

„This is not true and you know this. I care about the both of you, a lot. It´s just the job. It´s so stressful…“

„But JJ manages to be there whenever Henry has a game. How can she do this and you can´t? Why don´t you just say that you´re not interested in seeing me compete instead of building up my hopes everytime again, only to smash it back down in a heartbeat.“, and now, Y/N was openly sobbing.

Aaron stared at his daughter, his heart aching. He hated to see her like this, but there as nothing he could do right now to fix his mistake. He messed up, again. He wanted to change, to be a better Dad. But why is this so hard?

The duo stood in silence for about 5 minutes before Y/N whispered quietly: „You managed to break my trust in your promises completely. How am I ever supposed to believe a word you say again?“

„I know I messed up Y/N, and I don´t know what else to do instead of telling you I´m sorry over and over again.“

„You should actually mean it. Those shouldn´t be empty words, they should have a meaning.“

„They do. God, I care about the both of you so much and I´m so sorry that I hurt you this much. I can´t stand to see you like this. Please, what can I do to make things better?“, Aaron asked his daughter, basically begging her to help him out.

„Trade places with Mom.“, she said and went up to her room, closing the door to her room and breaking down against it.

   A few days passed by since the ugliest argument Y/N and Aaron ever had. The both oft hem didn´t speak to each other. Y/N couldn´t stand being in his presence right now; she only did so when they had breakfast before school, but only because of Jack, though the young boy could sense that something was wrong between the both of them. But Y/N also knew that the last thing she said to her Dad wasn´t okay as well. Nobody deserved to get told something like this and she felt horrible because of this. Yes, she missed her Mom´s and at the beginning, she blamed her Dad for what happened with Foyet. It had took her a while to understand that it wasn´t his fault and that he too lost someone very important. To wish him death just because he didn´t come to a stupid cheer comp wasn´t right, but yet again, Y/N wasn´t ready to forgive her Dad just like that.

The Hotchner´s just finished having breakfast when Jack grabbed Y/N by the arm.

„Y/N? Are you okay?“, he asked, looking up to his sister with sad eyes.

„Yeah…I´m fine. Why?“, she answered confused.

„Because you barely speak to us anymore and you just seem different.“

Y/N inwardly sighed and gave her brother the best smile she could bring up.

„I´m sorry buddy. I´m just…not really in a good mood. School is kicking my ass and I did something I´m not really proud of.“

„I´m sorry Y/N/N.“, Jack whispered as he hugged his sister tightly at which Y/N almost started to cry right there and then. He was so pure and innocent. She wished she could see life again through the eyes of a child.

When they let go of each other, Y/N grabbed her bag and went straight out of the door, only turning around to wave to her little brother and then she was gone.

„Daddy?“, Jack asked as he turned towards his Dad.

„Yeah, buddy?“

„You need to fix whatever happened. You´re the superhero. Fix it.“, and with that Jack got up as well, running up to his room.

If it only was that easy.

  „Hey Mom! Wow…it´s been a while since I´ve been here. I still think it´s weird to talk to you because all I see it this stone and some flowers but here we go.“, Y/N said as she placed down new flower she brought on her way to the cementery and than sat down next to the headstone. The young girl leant against it as she looked up into the sky. When she walked out the door this morning, she didn´t really have the intention to go to school. She needed a time out. So she decided to visit her Mom and get whatever was bothering her off her chest.

„I-I messed up Mom. Big time. I don´t know if I can fix this. I was just so angry and I said some hurtful things to Dad. I was just so furious that he didn´t keep his promise and put his job before me. And then, I just told him, straight in the face, that he should trade places with you. What kind of a daughter am I? I´m horrible.“, Y/N explained as tears ran down her cheeks, „I was hurting and still am. But I was so ridiculous. Really. I just….I miss you Mom. I miss you being here with us. I don´t know what to do most oft he times. I´m just so lost I guess. I still haven´t found my place after everything that happened and it´s been five years. It´s not Dad´s fault that he´s always so busy, but sometimes it just feels like that he doesn´t even care about us anymore. Like, I´m more at Jess´ place than I am in my own home. I just want things to go back to normal. But how do I do this? How do I fix this big mess?“

  „Y/N hasn´t spoken to me in over 4 days now and I think she won´t talk to me any time soon.“, Aaron sighed as he rubbed his face with his left hand, „I really messed up Dave.“

„Aaron, it wasn´t you´re fault that.“, Rossi started but got interrupted by the Unit Chief.

„Yes, Dave, it was. I promised my daughter to be there for her when she needed me and I broke this promise…again. How can she ever trust my words again? I´m her father for god´s sake.“

„But you´re also human, and human´s make mistakes. No one is perfect. It happens. You should just talk to eachother.“

„Last time we did that she ended up sobbing and wishing that I trade places with Hayley and to be honest, I sometimes question if..“

„Now stop right there, would you? We all know that she said that because she was mad and furious and that she actually didn´t mean this. So don´t put too much meaning into it. Here´s what´s going to happen tonight. You´re gonna leave this place at 3pm today to pick up your kids from school and then you sit down and have a nice long talk with your daughter..“

„How am I supposed to do that when she won´t even look at me?“

Right when Rossi was about to answer, Hotch´s phone rang and groaning inwardly, he picked it up.

„Hotchner? Yeah…that´s correct. What? Okay, thanks for informing me. I will look into it and get back to you. Thanks for letting me know. Bye.“, and with that he hung up again.

„What was that about?“, Rossi wanted to know.

„This was Y/N´s school. She hasn´t been attending classes today. Infact, no one heard from her all morning and since she or me didn´t call in sick for her, they called me and wanted to let me know.“

„I bet there is a simple explaination for that. She´s a teenager, going through a whirlwind of emotions right now.“

„I´m gonna call her. And then Garcia should track her phone.“, Aaron said as he picked up his phone and dialed the number of his eldest child. But nothing.

„She´s not answering. What if..“, Hotch started to panic. This couldn´t be it. This fight couldn´t be the last talk they every had. Where was she?

„Aaron, calm down.“

„I´m gonna calm down when I´ll know where my daughter is and..:“, and yet again, the two agents got interrupted by a know on the door.

„Come in!“, Hotch screamed and was greeted by JJ in the door. „Hey Hotch. You have a visitor.“, the blonde agent said and with that, she stepped aside revealing Y/N.

„Y/N…omg.“, the agent said as he stood up to go and hug his daughter who didn´t fight the embrace, „I was so concerned. The school just called and said that..“

„I wasn´t there. I was with Mom.“, Y/N whispered as she looked down on the floor.

Rossi and JJ slowly made their way out of the office to give the two oft hem some privacy.

„Y/N…I-I´m…“, Aaron started, but got interrupted by his daughter who started to sob and hug him hard.

„I´m so sorry Dad. I didn´t mean what I was saying. I-I was just s-so mad at you because you weren´t there a-and..“, she took a shaky breath, „what I said was mean and hurtful and not okay..and i´m so sorry. I feel so bad for it and I wanted to apologize.“

„Shhhhh, honey. No, it´s okay. You had every right to me angry at me. If all, it should be me apologizing to you. I´m so sorry that i disappointed you again. I really didn´t mean to do so, but everything just got a little to stressful and I´m just lost…you know. I mean, it´s been 5 years already, but I´m still not cut out to be a single father. And I-I don´t know. I´m really really sorry….“, Aaron apologized and also had a few tears in his eyes.

„Guess we´re both just a little lost in life.“, Y/N laughed and wiped her tears away, stepping back from her Dad.

„Maybe…but I´m gonna work on it. I´m gonna work on myself. For you guys. I care about you. I love you both. You´re my life, my everything. I need you guys. Please, give me a second chance.“

Y/N smiled up at her father, before speaking again: „I know you do and I´m sorry for thinking otherwise. Guess we both have to work on ourselves, huh?“

Hotch smiled down at his daughter and engulfed her in another hug: „I love you, Y/N/N. Always.“

[ @dontshootmespence @veroinnumera @ultrarebelheart @illegalcerebral @cherrybombs-and-rabbitholes @bucky-smiles @butsomeofusarelookingatthestars @jennferjareau @crimindsaspe @remember-me-forever-silent-angel @ssaunitchief @docspencerreid @uncomfie @lookwhatyoumademequeue @tenaciousarcadeexpert @marvelfanlife @sam-carter-in-training @sweater-vest-reid @crimeshowtrash @acespence @spencerreidreads @idkbutspencer @iammostdefinitelyonfire26 @princesswagger15 @dionnaea ] 

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds reader insert #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x daughter reader #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner reader insert

[s0ftkwan]

(fake) boyfriend!daehwi

group; member wanna one; lee daehwi

genre fluff fluff fluff

author’s note literally came up with this in the shower lol also this gif is really cute <3

once a year your school had this giant festival that was full of games and food booths and tons of other stalls

basically like those huge fairs in those animes lol

and for the first time in forever, you and your bff daehwi didnt have anything to do

it was literally the first year since you transferred in that you werent class pres or vice pres and same goes for daehwi

this year the unfortunate position was given to guanlin, another close friend of yours

lets just say you enjoyed every single moment watching guanlin try not to pull his hair out from all the stress

ofc you two had little jobs here and there like running your class’s stall but that only took up about an hour of the whole festival

so you and hwi were hitting all of the stalls playing games and stuffing your faces with all of the food

literally you two felt like you were expecting mothers

overall it was a fun ass day until dun dun dun

your bitchy ass cousin who you absolutely hated with a burning passion oK calm down arrived

“hwi i’ll catch u later, i have to show this ho--I MEAn my cousin around“

on the inside you were literally begging him to end your life right there and then

she was visiting for the week and she couLd NOT gET ANY MORE annoying is2G 

dont worry she felt the same <<3

you were stuck wondering why the heck she was here until you remembered

before you left for school in the morning, u remembered your mom telling you she was stopping by so that she could see what normal life was like where you lived

but u knew that it was her lame ass excuse to talk to more boys loL

anYways you had the great displeasure of showing her around the school

you were pretty sure for the first hour, the only words that came out of her mouth were “where are the cute boys y/n ??!!”

when you passed by the churro stall you were literally about to stuff those churros down her throat lmao

coincidentally you saw daehwi with your other classmates laughing about something

weirdly though you felt a little pit pat in your heart when you saw him smiling so much but you blamed it on the heat or something lame like that

but that lil joy disappeared immediately when you heard your cousin pipe up behind you

“ooo couz, who is that? he’s kinda cute“

you swore you were about to break her little fingers off when she pointed one of them at your best friend

instead of doing that though, you came up with another approach to shut her down for good

you didnt know what demon possessed you to be able to do such a thing but you grabbed daehwi’s wrist, pulling him away gently from your classmates

walked up to your cousin

linked your arms in his

and yelled out loud

“cousin dearest, meet daehwi, my boyfriend“

silence

ong somewhere in the distance telling daniel that he knew it and that he needed to be paid 50 bucks or smthn

for the first time, your cousin was actually speechless

“w-woah, o-okay,,, nice to meet you,,,,,hey couz, i’m gonna head uh over there ok? see you later!!”

she left awkwardly probs super embarrassed hAh

you were too busy smirking at your victory to notice your best friend’s totally shocked and blushy face

“b-b-boyFRIEnD???“ big time rush ayy

you finally realize that somehow your hands were intertwined with his “hwi your my best friend you know i would die for you right......pls be my boyfriend for the day“

the poor boy looked like he was going to faint

“ONLY for the day and only in front of my cousin, i promise when this is all over,,,,,,,i’ll get you a date with whoever you want bc letsfaceityouneedit“

you were terrified that he was gonna say n o bc what happens after thaT?? an awkward rejection??

“You know what that was so stupid of me pls forgive me let me just tell my cousin that it was all a li--“

“i’ll do it“

long story short thats how lee daehwi became your fake boyfriend for a day

and honestly, it wasnt all that bad

it actually felt pretty normal for you just like you were friends at a fair

except he held your hand and you had gross couple headbands

but only when your cousin was in your line of sight

people cooed at how cute you two were

especially your annoying seniors jaehwan and sungwoon

“jaehwan sungwoon i swear i will take these annoying headbands and choke you until you turn purple“

needless to say they shut up after that

you thought things were normal and even almost forgot about your little act until daehwi pulled you into an empty photobooth to take some couple pictures

“h-hwi, she cant even see us in here,,,“

“still! we gotta sell it, y/n!“

it was actually pretty fun

daehwi and you pulled some extremely ugly poses that you were not even sure existed until you did it

but for the final picture, daehwi told you to look straight into the camera with a pretty smile

you did as you were told bc you thought he was going to do the same, buT

cheeky ass boy plants a peck on your cheek just as the camera goes off

you look at him with wide eyes and he just has a sheepish smile on his face

“g-gotta sell it, right?“

the pictures came out really funny and so typical of you

daehwi let you keep the pictures except for the last one

when you asked him why he just told you “good memories that’s all“

you bet your ass you were a blushing mess after that

you two continued on as if nothing happened but you didnt notice how daehwi held your hand all afternoon even if you two had no idea where your cousin was

it was finally the closing of the fair’s first day and everyone pretty much left

you had found your cousin again who was surprisingly not as irritating as you thought

she was waiting by the gate and daehwi walked you there

“daehwi, thank you sosososo much for today,,,,like being my fake boyfriend and all,,,“

“no problem,,,,so,, y/n,, about your little offer,,,,“

you felt your heart break a little bit when you remembered what you offered him

i mean you werent jealous or anything its just that the thought of daehwi holding another person’s hand or kissing their cheek or doing anything like what you did today just made you kinda sour inside bUT YOU WERENT JEALOUS OR ANYTHING uh huh keep telling yourself that hun

“o-oh yeah, that,,, listen as your bff for life, i can assure you i am an a grade wing woman. just tell me your type and i can make it happen buddy. who is it? is it somi from class a? or dara the sophmore?? or is it––“

“it’s you“

what

“e-excuse me?“

“y/n, my bestest friend in the whole wide world who i have had a crush on since the first moment i saw you, will you go out with me?“

needless to say your night ended with a promise of a date, a future boyfriend, and a lot of excitement for the week to come

#wanna one #w1 #wanna one au #wanna one imagines #wanna one scenarios #w1 au #w1 imagines #w1 scenarios #lee daehwi #my bby hwi #i love him so much he's so squishy #pls love this smol talented boy ;;; #daehwi scenarios #daehwi imagines

[onlyjihoons]

policeman!jihoon pt.2

a/n; special thanks to bff jupiter @chaeyolks for the pretty pretty moodboard once again,, also! this is a collab w @alliwannado-w1, her installment for woojin is coming up this weekend so do look forward to it^^

policeman!jihoon pt.1//policeman!woojin

warning: slight alcohol mention+slight violence, however characters are written when they are of adult age

“you’re illegal, why are you even a police officer?”

“you’re going to do undercover duty with y/n.”

“again?!”

“unless you want me to–”

“yes sir”

so here he was, groaning at his impeccable luck

he needed to get back at daniel for making him buy that drink LOL

“hello, im inspector park jihoon, please take care of me”

you looked up, being greeted by jihoon, in a light blue button down and ripped jeans

with that lanyard that has his name and picture??

usually staff id pics look like mugshots

but hey his pic deadass looks like a shot of those models for some fashion show

“hello, i’m sergeant y/l/n,” you smiled, sticking out your hand, “i hope we will work well together.”

at that moment jihoon fell for your brown eyes

and dimples when you smile

whatever he said about having zero interest in girls was thrown into the gutter

jihoon was tasked to shadow you for your duties for a month

he was pretty sure he was gonna get sacked for falling for his superior LOL

anyways

your first day of working with jihoon was nothing big, just typing out some reports

it was a little weird because an inspector from the violent crimes department in a street crimes(idk what its called pls forgive me) department? typing out reports of a lost puppy??

anyhow your female colleagues from the other departments will ever more often drop by your desk just to see jihoon

it was getting annoying how theyre actually paying more attention to jihoon

so you asked minhyun to dispatch you for more undercover duties LOL

“i thought you loved writing reports”

“not until the female sergeants from other departments come to my desk to see inspector park??”

“are you jealous?”

ngl you were but you arent gonna let it show

especially in front of minhyun

he would f l i p

“try having 3 colleagues flocking to your table every 2 hours to see your co-worker instead of talking to you, and also distracting you from doing work.”

“fine”

undercover was boring, you would normally drag sergeant!baejin along with you

but this time he wanted to stay in the office because he doesnt want to be the “third wheel”

you and jihoon would go to the same club everyday to do undercover duties

and the both of you manage to bust some sleazy dudes

since the whole thing was already under control the both of you soon don’t need to go to the club

and actually do night patrols

it was fun, because jihoon would entertain you by pulling funny faces and treat you to ice cream

contrary to your expectations, jihoon was actually quite nice to be around with

but then something in your mind went off about him

 you remembered the fuckboy senior that played with girls’ hearts in high school

it was jihoon

you were well aware that you were a position above him despite the 2 year age gap

but you couldn’t let yourself fall for someone who breaks hearts

so you decided to build a invisible wall of friendship to prevent yourself from falling for him

i mean how couldn’t you,, he was good looking, good at his work, and had a faint protective vibe which you liked

like whenever you were feeling only a little chilly at the cool breeze jihoon would not hesitate to drape his jacket over you

and also let you walk on the inside of the pavement

besides, minhyun would fall off his chair at the thought of his sister dating someone from the violent crimes department

but that didn’t stop you from having fun

the both of you would sit at swings and play at the slides

there was once jihoon was stuck at one of the slides and you had to help him LOL

but ended up pulling out one of his Stan Smiths and nearly called the fire brigade

day by day, the both of you got closer

and you told jihoon not to call you “sergeant hwang” bc that sounds rlly formal

one day the both of you were just talking about random stuff and you mentioned that you wanted to pick up martial arts

“i can teach you if you want!^^”

“really? what martial arts do you do?”

“i have a six-don black belt in taekwondo, i do teach little kids in my spare time as well”

so here you are, standing at the back of jihoon’s taekwondo class

you felt very over-aged learning taekwondo with a bunch of white-belt kids

but they were really good, and jihoon told the kids you were his assistant for the time being

yeah, assistant with a white belt

and just saying, jihoon looked rlly rlly hot in that taekwondo uniform

with slightly sweaty bangs and all

when he just stands aside for the kids to practice and adjusts his belt

bOI

ok moving on

you learnt some basic moves and jihoon barely needed to coach you to get them right

so all those years of fighting with minhyun was worthwhile

jihoon would shift you up to a yellow belt in two weeks because you were that good

so one day your eyes obviously wasn’t doing you good

you kept messing up the sequence throughout the lesson, maybe your condition wasn’t good

jihoon could see it and asked you to rest for a while

after the lesson ended, you took your street clothes and accidentally walked into the men’s changing room

and you walked into a topless jihoon

luckily, he was the only one inside

you could see his toned abs, and defined arms

not to mention that killer jawline

and in taekwondo pants????

jihoon noticed you staring slightly and then fumbled to find his taekwondo robe

and you noticed you were in the wrong changing room

“oh shit im so sorry i--i”

just as you were about to get out of the changing room jihoon blocked the door

without his robe

“y/n, did you enter the wrong changing room to see,,,”

“see?”

he pointed to his abs, “this?”

you could only laugh, “i would never do that, i can easily see them on the internet”

he raised his eyebrows, “so you watch porn?”

“no??” you rolled your eyes, offended, “do you think i’m that kind of person, inspector park?”

“n-no--”

“i’m sorry i’m not like those girls you played with back in high school, i’m not after your body--”

“you’re driving me crazy, y/n”

“what?”

“your eyes, your nose, your lips, drive me crazy.” jihoon stared right into your eyes, making you blush

“hey inspector park--”

“why don’t you call me ‘jihoon oppa’ anymore? is our relationship strictly work-related now?”

“i just...” you sighed how something small could escalate to something big like this, “i like you, jihoon-oppa”

you slightly cringed but you continued, 

“but we cant do this. minhyun will get mad, and there goes my job.”

“b-but--”

“sorry, inspector park, i’d have to go.”

you pushed jihoon aside weakly, then going out and into the ladies’ changing room

you felt hot tears trickling down your face, in reality, you just didn’t want your heart to be broken

the next day, you and jihoon went to work like a normal day

just, no patrolling and writing of reports the whole day

the office could sense a tension between the both of you, even your female colleagues stopped coming over

“hey y/n,” baejin stopped by your table and handed over a file, “you gotta go undercover again for that club, the perverts are striking again.”

“again?” you sighed, “okay i’ll go.”

“do you need me to go with you?” baejin leaned against your desk, “ you seem, off, today”

“i-”

“i will go with her, sergeant bae.” jihoon spoke, “it’s my last day here anyway.”

so fast, a month has passed, you thought.

“thanks inspector park. i’ll get going then.”

you skipped dinner, all you did was to write reports continuously throughout the day

until jihoon slammed your laptop shut, and stared straight into your eyes

“we need to go now, sergeant hwang.” his lips stretched into a straight line.

you unwillingly got up from your seat, as you shrugged on your coat and headed out to the carpark to wait for jihoon

the car ride was quiet, with you staring out of the window, not talking to jihoon

though it was jihoon’s last day, and you were sorry he had to spend his last day like that

you had to stop yourself 

though the club was playing upbeat music, all you could do was to stare into blank space

just then, some sleazy dude came up to you

“can i buy this pretty lady a drink?” he winked

“no thanks, im with someone else--”

“ey, that someone else can wait.”

“i really do have someone--”

“i said i will get you a drink alright?!” the man’s rogueish smile appeared, grabbing your wrist, “i know you’re here to do undercover duties, sergeant hwang--”

just then, a fist was sent flying to the man’s cheek, as he stumbled backwards

you saw an angry jihoon, his face was red with anger

“if you ever touch sergeant hwang again, you’ll end up in the hospital.” jihoon growled.

“wow, sergeant, i didn’t know you were into flowery pretty boys like--”

jihoon sent another punch across the man’s face, making him fall to the ground

you had to physically stop jihoon from hitting that sleazy dude, or it would’ve turned into a full fight

“jihoon-oppa,” you held his arm, which weakened at your touch, “let’s stop, minhyun wouldn’t be happy if he saw this.”

jihoon scoffed, putting the dude in handcuffs

“you’re under arrest for sexual harrassment, you have a right to remain silent, unless with witness that will support your innocence.”

after that dude was thrown into jail, jihoon immediately hugged you

“are you okay?” he then took a step back to analyse your frame, “he didn’t hurt you, right? i was so--”

you then cut jihoon off with a kiss, shutting him up effectively.

jihoon kissed you back with more assertion, to make up for the time he didn’t get to talk to you throughout the day

“what was that, y/n?” jihoon smiled, ruffling your hair

“don’t tell minhyun about this”

boyfriend!jihoon in the police station is super sweet, leaving you a sandwich for breakfast, then dragging you out for lunch

minhyun soon found out about it, “i knew the both of you had something going on”

and jihoon wasn’t the asshole you expected him to be

he only had eyes for you, and it was really endearing

the both of you would go on night walks, and then sitting on the swing set, talking about random things

overall, the sweetest crime-busting couple in Gangnam Police Station

“I don’t know how you became a police officer, your looks are illegal, you’re my illegirl”

lowkey stole that from dimple by bts sorry im lame i hope you guys enjoyed this as much as i liked writing this,,my request box is always open, so do send in requests!

#park jihoon #hwang minhyun #wanna one #wanna one scenarios #produce 101 season 2 #produce 101 scenarios #park jihoon scenarios #Fluffy writes #collab: policeman!wna1

[tayegi]

I relate to the OC so much! A few years ago, one of my closest friends did something similar to me. So now I'm crying. But I love New Rules so freakin' much, you don't even know!

Anonymous said:What happened in the last chapt. really resounded w/ me. Related to Mijoo bc I once did something similar to a friend of mine back in high school- she liked a guy who I was sort of friends with, and she wanted me to put in a good word and all, but I ended up crushing on and hooking up w/ him and even now I feel like shit when I think about it. Like the OC, she was the bigger person and forgave me but I'd have understood if she didn't, bc even though it was just a crush, I broke her trust in me.

Anonymous said:Maybe because I've had a whole lifetime worth of Mijoo's I just can't find it in my heart to hate her. It's fucked up what she did, but people fuck up and let emotions run their lives. Y'all need to chill tho.

Anonymous said:If someone would do something like that to me I’d go full on bitch mode and ruin her life no matter how innocent, sweet, petty bla bla I’d ruin her life especially since it actually once happened to me and just like her I didn’t do anything about it because I was to nice back than but now that I went trough shit I know not to let people treat me as they’d do// hope she grows stronger in the future chapters 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼

queen-bee222 said:Im sorry but i dont like Mijoo. I've encountered so many girls like her and they have always fucked me over😠😠😩

Anonymous said:Hi Lu, thank you so much for the new chapter of New Rules. I wanted to say that I love how you create the OC's personality in a way that relates to many people. I actually cried when I was reading this chapter because the friendship between the OC and Mijoo is painfully similar to my friendship with my best friend. People think I'm this self-confident, sarcastic, heartless person but it's all just a facade. I'm terrified of people learning how paranoid and insecure I feel. I'm a brick in

Anonymous said:comparison to my friend. She's pretty, popular, confident and lovable. We're labeled best friends, but sometimes she turns her back to me like I'm nothing... To treasure someone so much only for them to hurt you in the end is heartbreaking. But no matter how much she hurt or angered me, I could never have the heart to hurt her. We're not the perfect friends I thought we were. Thank you so much for opening my eyes about her and myself.

thirsty99girl

submitted:

I just read chap 2 of new rule!!! And I almost cried!!! Because I can relate and feel how the oc feels!!! this story really reminds me of what happened to me in the past with my ex best friend!! We both had crush on the same guy and I didn’t know at first she even liked him then being the snake she is, she talked tons of shit about me in front of my crush and then coming to me lying through her teeth saying my crush told her that he liked her and then she caused so much drama for me that I won’t even talk about till it led me and my crush to the point we stopped talking to each other over an argument that she caused by lying and I could’ve expose her ass and make her ashamed of what she did but I just decided to hold everything back in my chest & forgive her, I give up on him even tho I still like him a lot and seeing him is a suffer for me… I don’t talk to my best friend anymore not because of him, because she did so many other things to me and later saying that she’s sorry and pretending to be the most innocent girl on earth!! I was tired of this… ughh I’m sorry idek why I talked about this I just felt like letting it out 😪

Anonymous said:Holy crap, the new chapter for New Rules stings like a bitch. A similar situation happened to me with my friend and this guy I liked. I told my friend that I liked the guy, and she told him soon after, which I wasn't really angry about. I remember feeling so lost when he knew my feelings and I didn't know his. I would talk to her about it and she would tell me that maybe we just weren't meant to be. I didn't find out until a couple years later when he said

Anonymous said:"Yeah, remember when we liked each other?" in one of our conversations, that I found out that he told her to tell me that he reciprocated my feelings. She never told me until I told her about my conversation with him. She said she liked him too and that it would've been hard for her to see him happy with someone who wasn't her. This is where I really connect with the oc's thoughts. How could you put a relationship over a friendship like that? I found it so selfish.

Anonymous said:I think the most difficult part of a situation like that is thinking what could've been. Maybe we would've made the best couple ever. Maybe we would've gotten married or had kids on the future. You just can't know. It hurts like a bitch, and you're just left clueless. Anyway, amazing chapter as always! I can't wait to read more once you have time to grace us with your beautiful words once again 💘

Anonymous said:Can you believe that I relate too much to the OC? A very close friend did something similar to me a few years ago in high school. So here I am, crying. But I loved this chapter sooooo much.

Anonymous said:This chapter hurt me a lot. Cuz I feel like I do so much more for my friends and then they ditch me right when they get into a relationship. It hurts even more when it's a good guy. I've never had a guy genuinely like me for my personality, just for my body. It makes me wonder if anyone would even like me for me, but that notion hasn't been proven yet so. :/ I'm kind of tired of feeling compelled to put other people first, though that's just who I am guess.

Anonymous said:1- WHY DO I IDENTIFY SO MUCH WITH THE OC OF NEW RULES? lemme tell you this...I was bffs with a girl for years, she always tried to be with the guys me and my friends were with, she even fucked the guy who I had my first time with and told me ON MY BIRTHDAY PARTY. The thing is I let so many fucked up things slide only because I thought our friendship meant more than some guys, until I realized she didn't care about me feeling bad because of her actions, she cared more about fucking a dude than

Anonymous said:2- our friendship. I wonder what will it take for the oc to snap, she may try to forgive mijoo, but when you just forgive someone that easily, they don't learn their lesson, they will do it again and again because they know they can do it because you will forgive them at the end. I hope Mijoo isn't the case but Idk... thank you for writing something real as New Rules, really makes you think about things.

Anonymous said:When I got the notification that you'd updated New Rules I swear I've never clicked a notification so fast asjdkakck No but real talk when I finished reading I was genuinely convinced that me and the OC were the same person, I hate how I relate to this story but it's so good!! Teared up towards the end bcus feels ;-; Thank you for creating such wonderful writing, my non-existent soul is blessed (and so are you) ^ - ^

Anonymous said:I am literally on the brink of tears, Lu. I feel like a lot of girls can in some way relate, because at some point, we were all immature little babies who had no idea how to handle ourselves or relationships, so we just flew by the seat of our pants. The way the OC feels and what happened with her and Jimin and Mijoo reminds me of a similar situation that I was in, and for you to capture those feelings so nicely was a punch in the gut.

Ah, Im reading through all of your asks and my heart is breaking for all of you guys :( im legit tearing up here knowing that so many of you can relate and that you’ve gone through such similar experiences. I hope that you have those toxic ppl out of your lives and that you’re all doing well now. I love you all D: 

#new rules #this srsly made me so sad :(:(:(:(( #i want to hug you all #i want to have a giant group cuddling session with wine #anon #lu answers

[tvshowsyespls]

It’s not just their interaction that matters, it’s seeing their actions whilst fully aware of their pasts to identify growth/change and how others can see their love even when they are not physically together: it’s in how Josie says ‘my father is a fool, one look at you and he should’ve known how this would end’, it’s in how Bellamy seems to ‘care about her more’ than everyone else he cares about (according to J, who is apparently great at reading people est. ep7). It’s how Russell says to Josie ‘have you become so callous to the feelings of others that you don’t remember what it’s like to lose someone you love?’ when canonically she has only expressed loss with Gabriel. She talks about how G has been trying to kill her for 70 years and says ‘relationships, yknow?’ As if B was gonna be like ‘lol tru’, then she takes a walk down memory lane, saying ‘besties’ before claiming how BC is ‘weird’. You’re right Josie, louder!

It’s weird because in s1, the script says Bellamy was thrown by the intimacy then said that for a moment Clarke wanted to run away with him as she held his face in her hands? platonically?What even?? I know, so glad we got this 131 year old slow burn instead. It’s weird because they flirted and C invited B to get a drink with her but B turned her down, choosing to be the responsible boy that will have his fun when the grounders come... It’s weird because there was a Lexa-Clarke-Bellamy love triangle according to Alycia (Do I even need to go on?)

It’s weird because Clarke jumped on Niylah after putting her hand on top of hers that were on her shoulders, it’s her mating ritual for when she wants to get laid. Observe: she pulled the same shit on Bellamy in the list scene only for him to tell her ‘get some sleep’ (LOL awks - who told her to platonically smush her face on top of their hands that rested on her shoulder for 10+ seconds - maybe B was thrown by the intimacy again bc he was like ‘gtg’ lol) and she ended up in Niylah’s bed the next morning.

It’s weird because Clarke was willing to sacrifice her mother in s3 (Abby was literally hanging when B came in right on time) but gave into Roan’s blackmail with B and Kane in s4 - WELL of course because Kane is her stepdad!!! but...she was willing to let her mum die and that’s exactly what she reminds Roan and the viewers before it becomes canon that Bellamy is THAT pal ™ that is more important than your mother + 50 skykru lives that were dropped from the list just like that even though the whole season Clarke had been all for her people first. Remember when he was about to open the bunker and Clarke fully thought she was saving the human race by locking skykru in but let B open it anyway, crying as she couldn’t even shoot him in the leg or something? Talk about WEAK! Bellamy somehow convinced her to let everyone in?👀 Clexa coalition parallels anyone? No? Ok.

Remember how she looked as she volunteers to go with B to get Raven even tho 5 secs ago, she was ok leaving her and every other friend and human out to die? (Sidenote: ‘I never meant to hurt you’ like CLARKE PLS, you were about let around 600 people die and ur talking about Bellamy? Check urself, he’s pissed too - until he isn’t because Clarke says ‘nothing is okay, no matter what I choose, somebody always dies’ which makes B make light of it (bc he always understands) with ‘not shooting me was the right choice’ leading to it being canon that BC staring at each other causes them to run over someone and crash their very necessary life-saving vehicle... Who tf wrote this???) Throwback to TondC (‘I did it to save Bellamy’ followed ‘what if I sent him in there to die’ which followed ‘you should go, I was being weak’ - the LENgths she was willing to go to progressed with her worry for him that it was truly tragic for the grounder villagers (but tbf Lexa did convince her so Heda is right, they totally couldn’t have created a fire diversion as Clarke suggested) and that worry turned into literal platonic love as, for a moment, it was tragic for everyone outside the bunker too that second times C had to make a similar choice. The narrative really made Clarke say and do those things in that order huh? Wow) Remember how she was ready to let O die and keep B in the bunker, have him hate her to parallel kabby that season? HOW is B still alive? He was all like ‘I’m not gonna be in the bunker’ and Clarke’s like ‘you WILL’ before he even finishes his sentence lol. He did say ‘people die when you’re in charge’ and yet... it’s almost like idk, Clarke never wants to lose him ever.

Platonically of course because their attraction to each other has disappeared since s1... because you see that person and you’re like ‘lol nvm, ur not as hot as I remember 6 years ago when we were giving each other the looks™’ right? So you just watch them make out with their SO twice in canon to drive that point home. Especially when it’s your bff that you talked to everyday for 2199 days according to Flame!Madi who strutted right up to Bellamy, demanded he forgive C (lexa, is that you fighting in Clarke’s corner? 😭) before telling him something she ‘SHOULDN’t’ tell him?? Sorry Clarke, was this a private thing that Madi was privy to that she felt she shouldn’t expose or did you tell her not to mention it?? Madi said ‘she called YOU’ lol, like when is Madi gonna expose Clarke’s radio calls to Raven pls, I need the platonic princess mechanic relationship instantly restored like that! The radio call elixir: makes you soft for you bff and invite her to decide the fate of the human race as you always do (we genuinely love a platonic team!) despite the fact she left you to die 2 days ago for endangering her kid in the name of stopping the war, which she herself decided to later do after Lexa, her romantic soulmate, tells her not to make the same mistake she did because it would be her biggest regret. Lexa tells C don’t abandon your platonic pal™, love is not weakness and life should be about more than just surviving. Did Lexa say Bellarke rights, Clarke be happy and let yourself love him? No, Lexa wants BC to live like her and Clarke did in her bed? No, no, Lexa said ‘live like Clexa, but don’t have sex’? Yup that’s what happened. And C has the audacity to say ‘save him’ after giving her child permission to walk into a war zone and endanger her life like.. I prayed Lexa protects Madi yes pls.

Either way, let your bff know you love him! Say ‘bro, you kept me sane and I love you for that’- it’s easy gsjsjah why you making it so hard, girl?? Hug and move on, let’s go! There was a perfect opportunity around that fire where you instead wasted time saying ‘all of me for all of us’ to just B? (All of u is for all two of you huh? Jk jk lol this is the most platonic thing in s5, I digress) before giving him ur bread lmao y so dramatic, we love extra af jokester pals (I do really like the platonic bad jokes fr tho 😂👌🏾)

(All is fun and games until the joy of reuniting with Madi is gone the second she sees becho. Like SMILE, Clarke, your soulmate pal ™ found his romantic soulmate like you found yours, remember?)

EVERY DAY for 2199 days huh?: It’s canon that Clarke Griffin after getting radiation roasted, decided to pick up her radio from the floor with her blistered hand that first day to try to call Bellamy, wanting to find out asap if he were alive... He didn’t respond and C had two choices they were alive or they were dead? Either way she said fuck it, Imma hope he’s alive and imma call Bellamy every day like the pal™ that I am, not even thinking like this: ‘imma talk to lexa bc she’s the love of my life and it’s literally just been 2-3 months since she got put in the flame and the flame is on Earth with me so I’m at peace.’ Like why wasn’t that canon instead?? Instead we got ‘I still have hope’ @ B 2199 days later.

The platonicness of Madi looking at Bellamy only and going ‘Clarke knew you would come’ and grabbing him by the hand like she’s his BFF? (that’s Clarke’s BFF Madi, get your own!) sorry but Madi has never met him in her life but she’s like ‘Clarke’s in trouble’ and suddenly B has been kidnapped by a kid. The rest of spacekru left alone in the forest to figure out their own shit bc B said ‘gtg save my bestie brb’ - NOT EVEN, he straight up left them stranded LMAO. (S6 in a nutshell tbh) Then Clarke in s6 has the audacity to look caught ™ when B casually brings radio calls up as friends would, he says it’s a lil pathetic and Clarke becomes the literal sun and B becomes the moon, shining all the laughs right back at her. Meanwhile, Clarke’s large ass pupils are drinking in all this HAPPINESS - not to reach but was that an example of life being more than just surviving? We actually have time for jokes and banter now? Fck Yeah ✨✨

What’s funny is the fact that Jordan knew about the head and the heart convo from s4 because B must’ve told Monty/Harper somewhere between being on the ring and before going into cryo. Since s5 was canon of what happened between returning to earth and going into cryo, logic leads me to believe Bellamy talked to marper about the head and the heart on the ring. It’s funny how Bellamy still got emotional when she’s brought up 6 years after ‘her death’ (Clexa parallels anyone?) and funny how determined he is to honour Clarke’s last words (be the head so their friends survive) only to say ‘I don’t need you anymore’ under psychosis, is that a trauma I see? 👀 soz, did I miss the season Bellamy said he needed Clarke? Only Clarke says the word need (‘I need you’, ‘we need each other, Bellamy’) unless that’s what he meant when he said ‘you got it backwards’ (@ Jaha saying you keep her centered)or when he whispered ‘I’ve got you for that’ or when he shouted ‘I CAN’T lose Clarke... we can’t lose her’. Either way, I love platonic soulmates that need each other.

(Randomly just remembered when B had that nice pal talk with Wells about how Clarke never sees him when Finn’s around, lolll what?? Weirdo. BC parallels with Wells and Clarke? Yes pls)

Tell your bff you love them challenge ft. Clarke who said ‘u look fine today, sad boy so I’mma look you over from the tips of ur toes to the top of ur head platonically then tell you you’re special and that your sis will come around’ and B who canonically says ‘Clarke, if I don’t see you again-‘ only for Clarke to be like ‘you WILL’ before B even finished his sentence - it’s rude to interrupt your friends when they’re talking Clarke! He was only gonna say ‘may we meet again’ anyway bc for some reason y’all bffs don’t canonically say ‘I love you [bro]’ and maybe B knows it’s because you hate I love yous and don’t say it unless you think it’s goodbye forever.

It’s in how Clarke puts Bellamy at the same level as Madi and cannot face Bellamy in her mind space, despite him being alive, because she thinks that he thinks she’s a monster - she cannot see her platonic pal’s love, I love that trope. It’s in how Clarke says ‘I’m not leaving you’ because her biggest regret was leaving B in the pits (but also the time she left him after MW) and it’s in how Bellamy says ‘I won’t let you die’ after letting her die twice now, I call that growth. So J mocks their weird relationship and B is like ‘lols I know’. He has a girlfriend who lied to him about her past during the 6 uninterrupted years they spent on the ring and he starts an argument with her seemingly out of nowhere (after watching Clarke dance with the doctor) and lying that at the last party he was at, he couldn’t protect his sister when we damn well know that the last party he was at was Jasper’s, does echo not know about Jasper? Did no one (Bellamy) tell her? He didn’t have to say ‘the last party I was at’ he could’ve easily said ‘at the party on Ark’. The way he even said this sounded like he was telling Echo for the first time what happened to his sister... they didn’t talk about the reason he ended up on the ground whilst on the ring huh? When Echo says something reasonable, he snaps that this is about feelings and that he never knows how she feels about anything... sounds like he’s projecting but I’m not going to tell you how to interpret it. Then when Echo opens up about her past, B says ‘you told me you didn’t remember your parents’. I love watching becho development because it’s clear how becho are not as compatible as we would’ve thought. (My headcanon up until s6 for them was that they connected over their similar childhoods and responsibility to their people and share the burden of the sins they’ve committed to live and grow together whilst finding peace in each other)

(This is just a snippet of how I see BC and I have no reason to be biased towards it. In fact, during s2-3 I actively made myself ship Clexa more than I shipped BC because I wanted that win for lgbt rep - yes, my mind is that extra that even without social media influence on my binge viewing experience, I felt that Clexa deserved E V E R Y T H I N G so believe me when I say I didn’t want this blarke life 🙃)

Everyone is agreed that they have an awesome non-sexual soulmate love? Yes? I admit, they COULD be platonic, depending on your definition of sexuality. Platonic is defined as ‘love or friendship that is affectionate/intimate but not sexual’.

If Clarke died next ep, bellarke will be remembered as platonic by those that believe sexual acts are what make a relationship romantic and remembered as romantic by those that infer sexual chemistry/feelings/thoughts in certain bellarke scenes.

Imo, it’s not logical to believe sexuality is only physical: it goes against basic common sense in that people would only be considered straight/gay/bi etc. at the point of their first sexual encounter and dating relationships would be platonic until the first sexual act within it.

Personally, I think romantic relationships arise with intention: the shared understanding of what you are offering each other (sexual acts included) and how you prioritise your person over all other humans.

It’s not crude to appreciate the intricacy of physical attraction or understand the implications of it driving the need to be as intimate as possible with someone. And the problem with bellarke is that there IS sexual chemistry and attraction. It’s established in season 1 and it’s made headlines - not that you should care- but both types of people (that would now consider bellarke platonic and those that wouldn’t) probably picked up on it because this aspect of their relationship was planned and written into the story. Longing and pining to just BE with someone is the pinnacle of romance and not only is it canon that bellarke look at each other with humongous pupils, it is also canon (through writing, direction and music) that bellarke prioritise each other, are extremely vulnerable to each other, always want to be ‘together’ do things ‘together’ no matter what. So I’m failing to understand why people don’t want to look at all the evidence and draw the clear conclusion: Bellarke tick every box for a romantic relationship except sexual acts and I think it’s a disservice to not recognise the reality of them as the epic love story that they are. Let’s not even mention the possibility that the reason they haven’t ticked that box is because they have given themselves over to their people in selfless duty or continued trauma from lost lovers.

I’m gonna conclude by saying I ship Clexa and Bellarke but with what’s going on in the story rn, bellarke are it for me. I’d say endgame but it could all change if there’s narrative to suggest otherwise. What I see happening by the end of the series is lexa being back (in what capacity idk) and either Clexa or Bellarke being party to the ‘I will love you forever but I will learn to love someone else so that we can chersish the relationship we have for what it is, not what it has been or what it could be, and be happy together forever’ while the other is canon endgame. Or maybe be by the series finale we’ll get endgame polygamy? - Now that’s edgy af! But those are best case scenarios lol.

Realistically, atleast one of BC are gonna die, Lexa will be brought back as Alycia but not into the real world (unless we get plot that finally exposes the mental space realm??? That sounds fucking dope tbh - they’ve been teasing alternate realities this whole damn show and what is more sci-fi than that? It would also incorporate the flame and Jason loves the flame and Clexa love the flame so??? Anyone wanna hire me as a writer?) and there’s endless possibilities really so I’m conflicted between hoping that Book 2 is less about tragedy/survival and more about happiness/life and knowing that hope for the 100 is offbrand and too much of a reach, with the evidence that we have but the writers could easily get us all there, man. I’m excited!

[psychotic-psypport]

my dad has done meth my whole life and has constantly disappointed everyone. he went to jail n stuff and was diagnosed with HPD (although I don't think that's accurate) I want to believe he can be better but don't know if I believe he really will-due to lies/the fact that a drug addiction isn't an excuse for being a shit person anyway. part of me wants him to suffer/wants him to go to jail bc of how he's made everyone else suffer. idk if we'll ever have a relationship/idk if I even want to.

same anon as drug addict dad aside from that- my relationship w/ my bff of 3 three years ended when I discovered it was all lies, my relationship w/ this boy ended bc we were both too mentally unstable, anxiety is the drive of my life, intrusive thoughts/paranoia are ruining me, my friend thinks I’m anorexic-and though I deny it I really am developing an ED. I either can’t sleep or it’s the only thing I can do. I bought some new razor blades- my legs are going to shit now. meth dad anon still my sister previously struggled w/ mental illness and had to go to the hospital. once my mom said that ‘if that ever happened again I would feel like a failure of a mother’ which made me scared/she has sorta found out in her own but hasn’t really helped me out- I think she’s in denial. my friend tells me my body is disgusting bc it’s too thin, but I love it. I am the lowest weight I’ve been in 2 ½ years but I feel fatter than ever. anyhow my life is shit idk what to do

Ok, so there’s a lot going on here (not a bad thing), so I’m going to try and divide this up into sections.

Number 1: Your dad.

Quite honestly, you don’t owe your dad a thing. If you don’t want to talk to him, if you don’t want a relationship with him, if you don’t want to forgive him, then that’s ok. Sometimes, people who share our genes aren’t our real family. Don’t feel guilty over cutting connections and moving on without him. It may be for the best. It’s also ok if you feel like you want him to suffer. He’s hurt you, and you’re allowed to be angry and spiteful, you’re allowed to hate him. Don’t feel bad because you feel this way.

Number 2: Your BFF and the boy

Sometimes, relationships end. Sometimes, it hurts like hell, but that doesn’t mean anything about you. You did not drive these people away. The circumstances weren’t right, and it was the right decision to break away if it was a friendship built on lies and a relationship that taxed you mentally. Allow yourself to grieve over these relationships, but keep moving forward. You’re probably better off.

Number 3: Intrusive thoughts are paranoia

These ones, I can relate to. My best advice is to partake in superstition to make you feel more safe, using protective sigils, wearing an evil eye bracelet and such. It makes you feel secure, like nothing can hurt you. As for the intrusive thoughts, try drawing them down. Vent art works some magic in making you feel better.

Number 4: Eating disorder and self harm:

I know how you feel, I’ve been right where you are. I know it feels like you can’t give it up, but you need to. Think of where you want to be, years from now. What job you have, maybe a partner, maybe a kid, maybe not. One thing I can tell you is that there won’t be room for these kinds of destructive behaviors in the future. They don’t have any place in your future, so you cannot let them destroy you and destroy a future and a present that could be filled with happiness. Please, talk to your friend. Get help. You will need support to get through this all.

Number 5: Your mom:

When I first told my mom I was cutting, she yelled and screamed and I cried. However, only 20 minutes at most later, she came up to my room and told me everything was going to be alright, that she was going to love and support me no matter what, and that we were going to get me help. I know it might feel like your mom couldn’t take it, but I can promise, she’d rather know, she’d rather have the opportunity to help you. She’s your mom, she wants to help you. Sit her down, talk to her about all this you’ve just told me. Let her in, she’s got your back.p

#ask #anon #answered #drugs// #meth// #self harm// #anorexia// #ed// #cursing//