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#i forget that the people who bullied me in high school are also allowed on social media
kneelingshadowsalome · 3 months
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Genuinely so obsessed with the ask you answered about reader being associated with König’s childhood bullies and coming back years later to try and make amends……. I need the angst, the drama, the nasty disgusting degrading sex, the absolute turmoil on both of their parts 😭 I am starving for this, the way you portray König especially there is exactly how I’ve always envisioned him in my mind!!!!!! And then with reader desperately trying to make him happy now out of guilt and her crush that’s grown 10x since she saw him in school, delusionally hoping and believing there’s a *relationship* between them and she can fix what she thinks she allowed to happen back then 10 years after the fact, while König is constantly fighting himself to not fall for reader despite his own buried crush resurfacing, and convincing himself he’s only using her to release stress and tension after assignment while simultaneously holding so much resentment for her and her sheer proximity to the people that tormented him back then, I am foaming at the mouth for the toxic dynamics to be found there !!!!!!!!! The old him begging to fulfill some childish need to have her, while this new monstrous version of himself only wants to watch her suffer to repent for how he had to suffer !!!!!!!!!!!!
I know right?! I’m obsessed with this too!
I’m so here for the toxic relationship dynamic (sue me), also me and @bucca2/@wordstome had a whole conversation about this yesterday because König would bend over backwards to self sabotage this shit.
(The following is mainly a summary from our brainstorm session from last night + I have bucca to thank for the precious meme at the end, it’s König in a nutshell with his high school crush lol)
First of all our girl is sooo in love. She was in love when they were young, but now? She’s a goner, König is out of this world. He's so handsome, so confident, the epitome of cool if there ever was one... and God, would you look at those muscles?
Now she can finally drool all over him but back then, what was she to do? As the shy one of the clique, she always tried to avoid attention; she could never have endured what König did. Perhaps it was cowardly of her, but she really was just scared. She could only dream about him from afar, and in her dreams, they would both change schools due to their parents moving or something... Ending up in the same area, finally getting to be together like it was a miracle, Deus ex Machina.
Her silly dreams never came true, but it looks like they're coming to fruition now. And this time, she's going to make everything better! Now that they're both grown up and free from their tormentors she can finally admit that she has feelings for him, feelings that are only sparked fast aflame when she sees the man he has become.
And König can’t stand it.
Where was she when he was odd and scrawny? Where was she when he cried himself to sleep over her?? Of course she wants him now that he’s big, independent and menacing, an odd nerd who discovered guns and gym... He thought she was better than this.
Deep inside, he’s still like this:
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...but we just need to forget about it because König is NOT going to fold for this girl.
He’s not.
And the sex is so NASTY. Bordering on degrading, König wants to be a gentleman when it comes to ladies, but this one? This one he wants to fuck like he paid for her. She brings out the beast in him, and he finds himself asking her to get on her knees and blow his cock on some filthy cruise... Fucks her like he doesn’t love her, and she’s absolutely lovestruck, when did König become so mean? (God, that she loves him)
Trying not to fall in love with her (as if he ever fell out), König is so incredibly mad at this girl – is this what she wanted this whole time? A buff jerk who fucks her doggystyle until her knees bleed, who gives her the bare minimum, who barely even calls her when he’s away? (He has to physically restrain himself from doing that because of course he’d like to hear her pick up the phone with pure hope in her voice)
While changing his tactics and devising a plot to make her pay, König doesn’t even understand that he’s falling fast for her again while becoming now (seemingly) the best version of himself. It's only to dump her later, of course. He's just being nice so that she'll cry over losing him later. He brings her flowers, eats her out for hours, getting sick satisfaction from the way she cries about how it’s the best sex she’s ever had. He’s going to bring her to her knees, in more ways than just one... She’s going to remember him for the rest of his life when he rearranges her guts, ruining her for any other man.
König is becoming the thing he hates the most while she’s learned her lesson, now wearing her heart on her sleeve. No more shame and secrets, she’s not afraid to tell him how she feels! How she always had a small crush on him… And not even that small… How she loved to hear his presentations, no matter what silly subject they were about because he had actually done his research. How she could’ve swooned when his voice changed. After a short breaking period, he started to talk lower than anyone else in the class, earning himself more of that bullying because he sounded so manly at such a young age.
König is about to burst a blood vessel when hearing all this: she had a crush on him back then? What the actual fuck??
And then come the cuddles, the slow mornings, the coffee and toast, the showering together… She leaves her toothbrush in his place, and it stares at him accusingly from the side of the sink. She wears his t-shirts and looks absolutely gorgeous, mouth-watering and sweet in them. His sexy little minx, the one who didn’t get away…
Wait, what? No. No. No!
And when his high school sweetheart confesses her love for him for the first time, she's so open and vulnerable and sweet about it. Like she has been from the start, his sweet, sweet girl, exactly the kind of woman he always wanted to bring home to see his mom. König is about to lose his mind when she tugs at his shirt, almost cries when she says how much she loves him and couldn’t bear to live without him… She would cry herself to the grave if anything ever happened to him…
(König is like:)
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abellaheart-blog · 1 year
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“To Mend Your Heart, Valentine”
Bully! Haruno Shiobana x Female Reader
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Summary: Takes place around Valentines. Haruno is known around school for being a bully. He’s part of the Yakuza as are his other delinquent buddies. You were childhood friends with him but reuniting with him has been terrible. He no longer treats you as though your childhood friends. You crush on your new friend who happens to be the most popular guy at school. Meanwhile Haruno notices and tries to mend his relationship with you at all costs.
This fic is a bit late but I got a bit busy. It’s also a bit of a comfort fic for me so I hope it’s enjoyable for others too. Thanks for the read, sweethearts 🌹 Pretty please Reblog 💋
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Taglist:
@syntheticseraton1n @shxftxng @noaltbruh @danielle-marie
Special thanks to @strawmariee for giving me some suggestions for this fic. If anyone is interested in being part of my taglist please inform me.
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Due to his title he makes sure he is known as a leader and doesn’t take any ounce of disrespect. He is very feared by everyone on campus, aside from his fan club. They admire him seeing as he holds above standard attractiveness and is covered in tattoos. He isn’t afraid to remove his school uniform jacket to prevent it from getting torn or covered in his enemies blood.
Due to his title he makes sure he is known as a leader and doesn’t take any ounce of disrespect. He is very feared by everyone on campus, aside from his fan club. They admire him seeing as he holds above standard attractiveness and is covered in tattoos. He isn’t afraid to remove his school uniform jacket to prevent it from getting torn or covered in his enemies blood.
Unfortunately the school you attend is filled with violence from gangs of rival schools. Haruno and his gang protect the school grounds but do so in a very less than ethical means. Everyone on campus knows them from all the commotion surrounding them. They make it clear no drugs or violence is allowed. People answer to Haruno if they break his rules. He may mean well but he justifies his own violence with his personal morals. He doesn’t want anyone suffering at the hands of other yakuza.
Some respect him and many fear him for this reason. As for you, you’re association with the yakuza leader is much more personal. You’ve known him since you were children. It was a friendship built from your love of animals. You would play with frogs in a lake and you met Haruno who would do the same. He would closely observe you. His big eyes peering at you from under his bangs to his bowl cut hairstyle. Being the friendly child you were, you invited him to join you and it cemented your friendship with him at the time. It would be a short lived friendship as children and was the best time of your life. You two would play everyday having mini adventures and doing plenty of activities together. You taught each other valuable lessons and your friendship taught you both a bit about love. Unfortunately you had to move to another city and you haven’t seen him until you attended a different high school for your second year.
It was a new setting for you and you grew to understand this school very well. It filled you with curiosity. So many rumors and warnings about the yakuza scared you. Then, one day, Haruno ends up recognizing you. You didn’t know it but to him you looked ever more beautiful. Your smile could still make his heart quiver as it did when he was seven years old.
He didn’t allow himself to smile on the outside. He has an important reputation to uphold. It’s different now that he became an important part to the gang. He is a leader now. It’s as he has always wanted ever since he was nine years of age. It happened after you left. Months of bullying from other kids until the faithful day he became acquainted with the Yakuza member that aspired him to follow his footsteps.
The brunette had much to think about regarding you. Did you forget about him? What if you didn’t care? Haruno would know it wouldn’t be the truth if he hadn’t still harbored feelings for you. You filled a special place in his heart. It was your friendship that filled the void in his heart. You taught him empathy, loyalty, understanding, and most importantly, love. He wouldn’t be where he is without you. He wouldn’t have such an understanding of friendship. His world would’ve still been a dark place.
As he walked up to you his stride was loud. Many students evacuated the area leaving you by your lonesome. Haruno was used to it but you felt incredibly worried. It felt as if you were being watched in a horror movie. When you finally noticed his presence there was much going through your mind about the stranger. He has short neatly combed dark brown hair with thin messy bangs. His eyes are a piercing turquoise paired with such serious dark eyebrows. They certainly intimidate you. His outfit is a navy blue school uniform but you notice a heart shaped cut to his jacket with his pale skin hinting golden tattoos.
Your legs felt so heavy and your eyes filled with fear. His tattoos and harsh gaze led you to your conclusion. He’s part of the Yakuza. His thick lips are in a straight line while his eyes stare at you with quite a stoic expression. If he wasn’t so intimidating you’d think about how good looking he is.
“There isn’t any need to be frightened of me.” He addressed you by your first name.
You only became more frightened. Haruno thought back to your younger self. He missed you so much. Your fear had saddened him a bit but he knew you’d remember him.
“Your legs are shaking, dear. I won’t harm you. I was hoping you’d remember me.”
His calm voice was so soothing yet lightly playful. His voice suited him well. An attractive voice for a handsome guy such as him was very fitting.
“Remember you?”
“Why yes. Don’t I look familiar?”
Your eyes fill with confusion. You couldn’t link him to your beloved childhood friend. The bowl cut and friendly eyes weren’t the eyes you could pair with right now. Haruno’s eyes didn’t fill with the same light they did when you two last saw each other. His hardships as a Yakuza member were the cause of it. He’s seen death and even killed before. Though he killed in self defense and the worst scum to exist on this planet, it did change him. The light in his eyes went along with him all those years ago.
The stoic expression you’re faced with is that of an average sized yakuza. Not a long time childhood friend you’ve longed to see. You didn’t recognize him. Such a revelation broke his heart. Had he not mattered to you? His turquoise eyes fill with despair and rage. How could you forget him? Was he forgettable? Was he truly the scum of the earth as he believed he was back when you moved? It was without your companionship he was truly at his lowest.
He frowned and his teeth clench from frustration. Betrayal filled his veins until you look closely at him. It was then you figured out who he was however it wasn’t the answer he wanted to hear from you.
“I think I know you now. Yeah everyone has been talking about you. Especially my classmate, Narancia. You’re the leader of the yakuza group aren’t you? I promise not to break your rules and to stay out of your way.”
He became stunned. His eyes widen and his anger boils more. Along with anger was his feeling of dread. You hurt him and he couldn’t let it be. You’ve forgotten him. As he lets you walk away he glares at you. He won’t let you forget so easily.
Later on that same school day you noticed him fighting someone. It was after school and his opponent was no match for him. It was hard watching him punch his opponent so many times. Not far from him you saw his group of fangirls cheering him on.
You felt awkward because he noticed you. He glared at you while wiping blood off his hand onto his dark navy pants. His fan club didn’t like the attention you received but you didn’t mind them. They needn’t fear, for the guy doesn’t seem to care for you. He walked up to you swinging his jacket over his shoulder. His pale muscles on display for you and the others. His tattoos show a golden dragon and some magenta or blue floral designs as well as black vines. Many in his little fan club cheered him on or complimented him.
He ignored them as he had observed you. You didn’t know what to do or say. You’re frozen in fear. You hear him, “tsk” as he passed you with frustration. You realize it might’ve been his opponent to put him in such a bad mood. Unfortunately for you he’s hurt you don’t remember him.
The following week you did your best to avoid him since he looked so angry whenever he was in your presence. You don’t want to be on the bad side of a student such as himself. When you finally did run into him it wasn’t good. In fact it was terrible. It happened before the final bell rang. You were let out twenty minutes before the bell rings. You saw the brunette in the hallway. He was surprised to see you.
“You..” Your eye’s widened.
You gulp walking the other way in a sweat but he grabs your arm. His grip wasn’t rough but enough pressure to stop you. You hope he wasn’t going to stir trouble with you. He said your name firmly.
“Do you remember my name? Or my face?”
You look over to him in wonder. You didn’t get a close look at his face since he intimidates you so much. Your hands feel sweaty as you observe him. His angry expression further confused you. Of course you didn’t see your dear friend Haruno in him.
“How could you not remember me?”
“We’ve met before?”
Your question angered him but it did make his heart shatter. His scowl wasn’t what you expected. Suddenly two of his friends called him over. It was Bruno and Fugo. Two other students with bad reputations you knew very well. They too had modifications to their blue uniform and more so than Haruno.
“We got work to do, Haruno.” Bruno said, addressing him with respect. Though they’re in a gang he’s a close friend to him.
“It’s important too.” Fugo said with an expression twice as intimidating at Haruno.
“Your name is Haruno?” Your eyes widened in disbelief.
He said not a word to you as he knew his friends words meant there was a drug trade in the area. He quickly left with them. Your shock really settled in your mind after he left. You finally understood his words. He was none other than Haruno Shiobana. Though his name is feminine you link it with your childhood friend.
Haruno was your world all those years ago. Of course you’d never forget him. It would be the next day you’d want to rekindle such a friendship with him again. Unfortunately the following day there was a massive fight due to gang violence. The school didn’t care so the students did as they pleased. Haruno fought off so many gang members easily as did his best friend Bruno. It wasn’t like anything you’ve seen before.
All the blood and violence caused you to go elsewhere. As you sat by yourself at lunch you soon noticed Haruno drinking from the water fountain. Eager to talk to him you run up to him. He still looks angry but you try giving him a reassuring smile.
“Haruno, I didn’t recognize you at first. How come you didn’t tell me?”
“I thought you would recognize me without the need for me to.” He looked over to you.
“You look so different now. I never thought you’d join the yakuza.”
“Many changes have come to my life. If for not my allies and myself this school would be in shambles. As would the streets be more dangerous.”
“I see.. I think I understand. It’s not like anyone else would do anything.”
“You’re correct.” Haruno simply said.
You tried asking him how he came to be part of the yakuza but he didn’t want to talk about it so he became quiet. His glare was so piercing. The thoughts for the hug you wanted to give him disappeared. He doesn’t seem like a touchy guy.
“Haruno...” You said with a forlorn expression.
“Been a while since someone outside my gang addressed me so lightly. Do be careful. I need to continue protecting the streets.” He walked off without another word.
His blue eyes were filled with different emotions you couldn’t read. He was hurt but not showing it to you. His demeanor around you changed so drastically since that conversation. He wouldn’t glare as harshly in your direction but he wouldn’t look happy seeing you either. It would stay this way for a while.
When you would decide to try talking to him he’d become so rude to you. He’d address you in such embarrassing nicknames or would laugh when his fangirls would make fun of your clumsiness however he didn’t look pleased when they’d insult your fashion. Your fashion was different from everyone in the wacky school so you didn’t fit in.
It would now be you who’d become so hurt by Haruno. You held onto your friendship you had with him in the past. You’d forever cherish it. He didn’t seem affected by your hurt expressions. Deep down he would but he couldn’t see you as the same person anymore. He felt as though you didn’t care for him. However he still had feelings for you but displayed it with teasing or playful insults that would make you blush. His favorite line was telling you how your lucky he finds your clumsiness cute or you’d have a hard time finding a boyfriend. Picking on you or continuing with nicknames. Yes he’s a tsundere but you wouldn’t know it yet.
It would be the rest of the first semester you received such treatment from him. You didn’t receive special treatment aside from the nicknames since he was known as the school bully. At the start of the second semester he started wrapping his arm around your shoulder wondering why you’re avoiding him. Of course he knew why but he liked teasing you. He missed his little song bird and wanted you to speak to him.
You grew tired of his treatment and avoided him at all costs. His violent background as a Yakuza also scared you away from him. He didn’t threaten you but he did make jokes about it. So here you are now running to class before he finds you. You managed to avoid him for three weeks now. Thankful you hadn’t seen him much this January.
After class he was waiting for you outside your classroom. His arms crossed with a pleasant smile but his eyes weren’t as pleased with you. He knew you started avoiding him. Your lip quivered lightly but he wrapped his arm around your shoulders as he always did. He memorized your schedule by now so he walked you to your next class with his arm around you.
“No need to be so scared little songbird. I missed you. After all I don’t get to see that lovely smile of yours.”
“You did?”
He laughs but continues the conversation.
“Yes I do need you. I’m your Haruno, remember? Or did you forget again?”
“No Haruno of course not-”
“I hope not. I’m always reminding you aren’t I?”
“You are?”
“Don’t make me repeat myself.” He said firmly.
You timidly nod.
“Repeating myself is useless. I’m sure you’ll learn eventually. Silly girl.”
He stopped in front of your other class finally removing his arm from you. He gives you a mocking bow before heading off. You sigh with relief. He’s still a Yakuza so you’re too scared of him. You ended up seeing him looking for you at lunch time. It was due to his association with you, you had no friends. Everyone fears the powerful bully, Shiobana. He warns others to leave you alone but he still picks on you a bit.
You decide to eat lunch elsewhere. You soon find a small class of students but you decide to sit outside. Who would want to be your friend? Not with Haruno around you. It would be the student body council who notice you. They understood your circumstances regarding Haruno. The class president took it upon himself to greet you.
“Good day to you. Would you like to eat with us?”
You couldn’t believe who’s speaking to you. Ritsu is the most popular guy at school. He’s a model student but also a good friend to everyone he’s around. It’s no wonder he easily became the school President. He’s so social and kind to everyone. Not to mention he’s incredibly handsome. His blonde hair and bright eyes could make any girl fall for him. It was in those bright hazel green eyes you see such kindness and a welcoming aura to him.
“Yes thank you Ritsu.”
You shyly follow but he makes sure you’re comfortable as he has you seated next to him. He introduced you to rest of the student council. He also expressed to sit with them if you’d like to.
“Thank you so much, President!”
“Please call me Ritsu! I’m only a third year.” He laughed knowing you’re a second year. “I see the others avoid you because of that Shiobana. I know he means well but do be careful with him. There’s a reason the school fears him.”
“Yes I know his title very well..”
“Does he pick on you?”
“Yes...”
“He does? Don’t worry I won’t allow any harm come to you. Most importantly that Shiobana can be a bully. I don’t like seeing him pick on others. We often butt heads.”
“You do?”
“All the time. Shiobana doesn’t hurt me but because he understands I don’t like seeing others mistreated unless they’re yakuza.”
“I see. Thank you Ritsu.”
It would be several weeks you’re around the student council and you befriended the secretary, Trish Una. She is also popular due to her lead singing in the school choir. She’s also a beauty many students fawn over.
Haruno hadn’t seen you much but he wanted to change this. He knew he had to mend his relationship with you. You’re so scared of him now. It hurt him seeing you so scared of him. You don’t even look at him. Today he’ll make a first attempt at talking to you.
He found you walking to class with Trish Una. It was surprising for him to see you as you are right now. Your hair and makeup was done so magnificently. It seemed Trish gave you a bit of a makeover, not that you required it to be pretty. You’re always looking so angelic to him. You’re the prettiest without any need for cosmetic products but it did bring out your eyes and lips. He wished he could hug you. Trish left to her choir class and you head off to class. Haruno stepped in front of your path to greet you. You gulp but he’s gentle.
“I haven’t seen you, my songbird. Did you think you could avoid me for so long without seeing me, baka (idiot)?”
“No of course not Haruno.”
“It’s not like I missed you but I did want to make sure you’re okay.”
“You did?” Your eyes widened displaying how long your lashes are to him.
“Yes you’re my songbird..” He replied carefully as he hid his blush easily. Your eyes certainly had an affect on him.
“I’m your songbird..? Why call me your songbird?”
“Could be because I’ve heard your singing..”
“I thought it was because you think I’m a bird brain.”
He laughed with a light sweat to his face. Could it be he felt guilt? His concern for your well being made you smile bashfully. Such a smile made his heart melt. He calmed his heart but his blush didn’t escape you.
“I appreciate the concern. Haruno I wish you’d talk to me more.”
He looked sad. His eyes drifting up to you in guilt. He placed his hand over his heart.
“Of course.. I believe I have so much more to tell you. I'm sorry.. I was hurt you didn’t remember me. I thought I didn’t matter to you.”
“Of course I do. I’d never forget you. It’s why I’ve forgiven you. You have a lot of making up to do.”
“Promise.” He crosses his heart to his exposed chest.
The heart shaped window displayed such a promise to you with his determined action. His eyes fill with determination as well.
“I Haruno Shiobana intend to earn your forgiveness.”
“Very well Haruno I’m looking forward to it.”
You pass him and he watches with a light smile. It would be later during lunch he looked for you again. He saved his favorite pudding for you. He hopes you two can also have a deep discussion. He goes to the rooftop with the use of his stand, golden wind. The growing tree branches aid in him climbing. As he continues looking for you he noticed you with the student council.
He was happy to see you with Trish Una. A good acquaintance of his. She’s a good friend of Narancia and Mista. Two of his closest friends. However when his eyes landed on you and Ritsu he became angered. You befriended the President? Why him of all people? He’s always attempting to break up fights he has with gang members who happen to be students of other schools. He tends to jump to conclusions about Haruno.
He noticed you hugging Ritsu before he left with a group of students. Ritsu is well liked by the entire school. He’s loved by both teachers and students. There isn’t many he doesn’t get along with. Haruno wondered if his love for you would be enough for you to return his feelings. Could Ritsu be the type of guy you’re into? You looked so happy around him.
He climbed down the building towards you. The pudding given to you after he greeted you. You remembered how much he adored pudding. The smile on your face certainly made his day.
“Thank you Haruno. I remember how much you loved these.”
“You remember?”
“Of course! We used to share them with each other.”
“Means a lot you remember sharing them.”
“Yes Haruno. How I could not? You used to smile so much eating them.”
“Thank you..” It was small but very meaningful to him.
Haruno’s smile surprised you but it was welcomed. He was happy sharing with you. His actions today proving to surprise your further. He thought back to his actions toward you and apologized.
“I’m sorry.. I shouldn’t have assumed so poorly of you.” He admits with a sad expression.
“I understand you must’ve been through so many hardships. It was a misunderstanding but do remember your promise.”
He laughed crossing his chest with a finger. You nod as you enjoy the pudding cup. He hopes he’s able to repair his relationship with you. It’s times such these he cherishes your company and knows his feelings for you haven’t changed. He knows deep down you’ve always meant the world to him. The teasing and nicknames stemmed from his feelings for you. He may have picked on you but he sees now how his actions have been so unfair to you.
He’s thankful for your understanding. Afterall bullies do stem from insecurity. For Haruno it was because everyone treated him like scum growing up. He had thought the friendship meant nothing to you if you’ve forgotten about him. He understands he has changed so much since then which is why you no longer recognized him.
As the school days passed he noticed your relationship with Ritsu more and more. He was well aware of your crush on the student council President. Your bashfulness made it a bit obvious but Haruno found out from your sketches in your spiral notebook. He noticed doodles of hearts with Ritsu’s name. His ever observant eyes aiding him now than ever before.
Haruno soon passed a group of girls discussing Ritsu. All about how charming they think he is and he’s the most attractive student at school. The yakuza member pondered to himself. Looks don’t matter but he would try to put more effort into his appearance as he tried to earn your love.
The next day Haruno wore a new cologne and had a set of piercings on. He got them pierced the previous day. His earrings are blue studs. They add to his beautiful piercing blue eyes.
He would smile at your compliment to his new piercings. His charm was displayed so effortlessly as he made you blush with his light flirting. A feat he could easily do as he called you angel or darling. He made the extra effort by handing you a single rose. They were different colors each time too.
“Your smile flatters me, darling. I look forward to seeing it at lunch if you don’t mind.”
“Sure Haruno. Thanks for the rose. This one is white. Any reason why?”
“But of course. It reminds me of you. You represent the white rose.”
“How so, Haruno?”
“It’s effortlessly beautiful and pure.”
“Aww Haruno you’re too sweet.” You laughed. “I better head off to class. See you during lunch.”
Unfortunately you wouldn’t see Haruno until your next couple classes after lunch. You have one period with him. During lunch Haruno ran into leaky eyed Luka. The brunette had been bullying Haruno for months on end ever since their fight during the beginning of the school year. Luka is a drug dealer and always butts heads with Haruno. The two are always fighting. Today was no different however he confronted Haruno with a shovel instead of his fists.
A huge fight between the two occurred when Luka knocked out Bruno on the head with his shovel. Haruno wouldn’t allow such treatment to his best friend happen without consequence. Haruno has enough of Luka’s medelling with innocent people and his awful drug dealing. He ended up using his stand on Luka by creating a frog to distract him. Golden wind ensued punches on Luka but after he didn’t hold back when he hit Haruno.
Haruno was badly injured by Luka. His opponent was also part of the yakuza but he was from a different gang. Haruno had no intentions of leaving without giving Luka the proper punishment. Luka ended up falling head first onto his shovel, causing him to faint. Haruno made sure to make an example of him in front of others by kicking his ass in public so no one would sell drugs in his territory.
He showed up to class nearly shirtless with his top torn from his fight. His forehead and abdomen had cuts and bruises. He was bleeding from his head and arms but not too much. You became concerned from what you saw in the back of the class. Everyone can see the tattoo and star shaped birthmark on his shoulder. Everyone was intimidated aside from his fan girls who offered to clean him up or give back rubs. He refused any of their offers.
When you look over to him you notice his handsome smile. It was small and he did so when he knew no one was looking. You smile back awkwardly remembering the compliments he gave you earlier. The teacher said not a word to Haruno as this wasn’t the first time he arrived to class beaten up.
There would be twenty minutes of class left until the bell rings. Ritsu arrived to class so he could make a few announcements. They’re hosting a Valentines dance soon. Everyone wondered about the rose bouquet he held in his arms until he looked directly at you. Haruno became incredibly annoyed at such a confident look Ritsu had given you. He couldn’t hide such an expression. His eyes became incredibly cold. His classmates beside him became scared of his presence. Not Ritsu as he walks up to your desk.
Your eyes widen as he hands you the bouquet. You became speechless at his nexts words. His expression was so tender and his charming smile made every girl in the room very jealous. Their jealousy wouldn’t match Haruno’s as the air around him filled with rage.
“I do hope for Valentines you consider going to the dance with me. I’d be honored.” He held his hand to his chest.
Since Ritsu is so popular he had almost everyone’s support including the teacher. Everyone cheered him on or applauded before he bid everyone a goodbye then a wink your way. Haruno couldn't allow Ritsu to take you away from him. He thought deeply about his next move until he overheard his fangirls talking about Ritsu. They kept talking about his blonde hair and popularity. Haruno had a couple ideas brewing in his mind until class was over.
Ritsu was a crush of yours but ever since you started talking to your childhood friend again you developed a bit of feelings for him too. You've forgiven Haruno but you're unsure how to feel. You would think hard about your decision until the next day at school.
Haruno decided to impress you. Perhaps a new change to his look. He knows you care not for his looks but it would add to his charm. Blondes did have an affect on you from what his observant eyes have seen. At night he looked over his hair and used golden wind to grow his hair longer. He dyes it blonde afterwards. Anything his rival can do, he can do better. He experimented with hairstyles and chose a braid.
At school you noticed everyone crowding a student. It happened to be Haruno's fangirl's but you didn't think much of it until you heard his name getting called by all the dozens of students around him. You heard gossips about it but this was nothing new for him. You froze upon hearing his voice.
"No thank you. I appreciate the invite but go away."
The girls all became so sad as they walked off. You couldn’t believe your eyes. His new hair style suited him very well. He almost looked like a completely new person. He even dyed his eyebrows too. It all really brought out his turquoise eyes. He walks up to you taking note of how bashful and cute you are around him. He greets you with such a charming smile, you feel the temperature in your face heat up.
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“You’re Haruno? No way... you look so handsome with blonde hair. I almost don't recognize you."
"You flatter me, my dear.” He kissed your hand.
You stutter out why he changed his look much to his delight.
“I simply desired a change. I’m happy you like it.”
“I do. You look so cute.”
“Is that so?” He chuckled. “I hadn’t any idea you thought I was cute, darling.” He holds up a small bunch of carnations for you. “I believe these are for you.”
You accept the pink and white carnations with a sweet smile. Haruno knew he would have an upper hand over Ritsu with the chemistry you have with him. Your expression was loving. He knew in his heart your love is meant to be.
“I hope to see you during lunch, my songbird. I’ll miss you.”
“It won’t be long, Haruno. Don’t be silly!” You laugh.
“To me it will.” He chuckles.
Later on at lunch Haruno waited for you outside your class. He greeted you, offering his arm to you. You accept with grace. Walking with Haruno around school. He kept getting you to blush with his effortless charm. He paid for your lunch and wouldn't allow you to hold your own tray. You felt like a princess.
You promised to meet him afterschool but before you did you told Ritsu how you wouldn't be going with him to the dance since you have feelings for someone else. Spending lunch with Haruno cemented your feelings for him. You two could be yourselves around each other and have fun. The school President would understand but be a bit disheartened. You ran into Haruno who offered his arm to you again. He walked you home.
"Fair well, darling. I'll miss you." He bowed as if he were a prince.
"You'll see me tomorrow." You giggled.
"Too long I'm afraid."
"It wouldn't happen to be because it's Valentine's. Am I correct Haruno Shiobana?" You tease him.
"I don't suppose you want me to propose?"
Your eyes widen as you stutter in embarrassment knowing he is teasing you as well. He chuckles, kissing your forehead before leaving.
"You're very cute, darling. Have a good rest of your evening."
"Bye darling.." You repeat bashfully.
It would be his turn to blush a bit but he isn't surprised. You're the only girl who could make such a feeling rise to his handsome face. Your beloved Haruno would surprise you tomorrow with a handwritten haiku and a huge bouquet of pink and red roses he grew using golden wind.
You read it during class. It was a romantic poem about how he’s in love with you. You wished you could speak to him during lunch but he was busy fighting Luka again. Leaky eyed Luka got into a fight with Narancia and Fugo. All three aggressively butting heads maliciously. Narancia ended up taking Fugo to the nurse while Haruno was left to be on the receiving end of Luka’s awful mood. He didn’t like the attention Haruno was receiving from his fangirls. Everyone of them had chocolate for the blonde much to Luka’s chagrin.
“Don’t get cocky because of our last fight, Shiobana. I’ll kill you.”
“One dealing out a death sentence must be prepared to die.” Haruno said without a second thought.
“You don’t scare me. Last time was an accident. You got lucky. Don’t think these girls actually have feelings for you. Once I’m done with you they won’t recognize you.” Luka said with a dark look in his eyes.
Haruno wasn’t affected by his words. He fought off Luka the entire lunch period. You cheered on Haruno much to the annoyance of his fan club. He didn’t respond since he didn’t want Luka to go after you.
“Shut the hell up!” Luka shouted at the crowd of girls who got spooked and gasped.
You’re too busy worrying about Haruno. You knew he must be injured from all the hits he received from Luka’s shovel. The fight lasted a while it ended in a tie. Haruno told you to meet him after school during class.
The entire school was decorated in a Valentines theme since the dance would be today. Many couples and confessions littered the school. It made you wonder what Haruno would tell you. You look forward to seeing Haruno but wonder about his poem he wrote you. It was a romantic side you’ve never seen from him.
So after school you waited and waited until it was taking too long. Half an hour passed so you went looking for Haruno through the hallways. The decorations were so cute especially the red and pink heart shaped balloons. Must be in preparation to the dance. In the baseball field you found him but he was in poor condition this time. Luka had a pocket knife and was about to use his shovel to hit poor Haruno laying on the dirt. You remember a closet nearby and grab a bat.
Luka didn’t notice you since he was too busy cussing out Haruno about his revenge. You went behind Luka hitting his back. You never imagined you’d stand up to a bully but Haruno meant a lot to you. His strength is one of his admirable traits and from it you’ve learned to defend others as well. He’s earned respect for defending those in the community who can’t do so for themselves from other Yakuza. Luka fell to the ground in pain. When he stood back up to figure out who hit him you struck his head really hard. He fainted thankfully but your worries about Haruno remained.
“Haruno!” You lay his head on your lap after checking over his injuries.
He woke up shortly after but with a large bump to his head. He had a bruises to his chin and body. You noticed a giant bruise on his chest through his chest window. You're sure he had plenty more injuries' under his navy blue school shirt didn’t. Luka had been attacking him with his pocket knife.
Eventually Haruno’s blue eyes open. He is surprised to see you but is concerned about Luka. He can barely sit up but he uses his stand to heal himself as he talks to you.
“I knocked him out with a bat. We need to get you out of here.”
“I appreciate your concern.” He chuckles looking at the huge bump Luka has on his head. “It seems he should be worried about you instead.”
“Haruno...” You say worriedly.
“I didn’t think you would defend me.” His eyes reveal to be thankful for you.
“If not me. Who else? I can’t let him hurt someone so precious to me.”
“I’m precious to you?” His smile became smug but you playfully smack his chest. His holds your hand to his chest.
“Haruno your wounds are gone!”
“It seems they’ve disappeared. Let’s not worry about it. We both better leave.” He stood up but wouldn’t allow you to help him. He didn’t want to burden you.
“Haruno you piece of shit! I’ll kill you!” Luka shouts with blood dripping down his face.
He wasn’t phased by the threat to his life. Haruno simply turned toward his opponent with a glare. He vows to himself to defeat Luka hurriedly so he can finally take you on the date he planned.
“...Muda Muda.” He simply said.
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“What?! You calling me useless?! Fight me Shiobana!!”
Haruno went on to summon his stand to defeat Luka. Golden wind went on to punch Luka several times. You hadn’t any idea how Haruno was defeating Luka but it didn’t matter to you. Golden wind didn’t hold back as he unleashed a flurry of punches as he’s always done to opposing yakuza in his territory.
Your eyes widened at Luka’s body landing across the baseball field. Haruno acted as though nothing happened as he led you back to the front gates of the school. You caught up to him looking over his injuries.
“There isn’t any need. All my wounds are healed.”
“That’s impossible. There’s no need to hide them. I want to help you.”
“Your concern means the world to me, my dear but I assure you they’ve healed. See for yourself.” He unzipped his jacket to show off to you.
You’re stunned for multiple reasons but his bold actions made you bashful. His torso was on full display for you. Tattoos tracing from his back up to his pecs and shoulders. You ignore it in favor of looking for his wounds. It appears he had told you the truth. It didn’t make any sense to you, much like the fight you observed earlier.
“How did they heal? You were bleeding!”
“I suppose it was magic.” He laughed. “You don’t need to be so shy. You can look as you please.”
“Not funny Haruno! I’m truly worried here.”
“I can see for myself. You’re incredibly sweet. It’s no wonder I’ve fallen for you, darling.”
His light eyes show he meant the truth. They’re so caring and fill with an emotion only shown for you. He tried giving you a hug but you get too embarrassed since he’s shirtless. He laughs offering his jacket to you.
“Care to dress me?”
“Not funny Haruno!” Your face turns beet red.
“My apologies. A gentleman offers his jacket to a fair maiden. It was only natural I did.”
“You’re too much at times Haruno Shiobana.” You giggle.
He zips his school jacket back on and offers his arm to you. You accept hooking your own arm with his.
“Where are we going?”
“I have somewhere special to show you. I take it you received the gift I left in your locker.”
“How did you do it?”
“My friends happen to be good at lock picking but I assure you we only use such skills on those who deserve it.”
“I understand Haruno. You and your men do a lot for this town. I hope it’s the same in the city too but right now I want to thank you for such a poem.”
He looks directly into your magnificent eyes. “I meant every word. You mean the world to me.” He admitted.
“Haruno do I really?” You asked with hopeful eyes.
“Yes, darling.” He nods but looks else where. “It’s why I have a date planned for us.”
“I look forward to it.” You lean your head against him.
He takes you behind an abandoned house. The backyard however has a huge garden. It’s so full of life. The rose garden hadn’t been what you expected. You wonder if this is where he picks your daily roses for you. Truth be told he spent the day prior growing such a garden with golden wind. He even set up a beautiful outdoor table and chairs for the both of you.
“Haruno this is so beautiful. I’m speechless.”
“This is how I feel when I’m around you. Endlessly feeling loved and in the presence of beauty.”
“Haruno..”
“I love you. I’ve been in love with you ever since we were children. It took me a while to realize I harbored such feelings for you. I was unsure about such feelings since I’ve never experienced love before. It’s because your heart is so endlessly beautiful I was able to harbor these feelings for you. I continue to learn so much about my emotions thanks to your compassion and understanding. It’s a beauty to never fail me.” His hand reaches out to your own.
You step closer to him and hold his hand. You didn’t know what to say at first. It wasn’t necessary for Haruno understood your feelings from your loving expression. You’re no doubt his sweetheart. He knows in his heart you are. He lifts his other hand towards your chin to give you a little caress.
“You yourself are enchantingly beautiful. You’re so lovely and I’m so lucky to have met you.” His blue eyes look to you with such emotion you’ve never seen before.
You understand this moment to be so precious with someone such as Haruno. He’s always been closed off from others. It takes time for someone such as him to truly open up. His abuse from his childhood caused him so much pain and neglect. Learning how to love took him several more steps and you know you created such a bridge for him to cross for his love to became so natural to him. Haruno understands he’s in love and expresses it so beautifully to you.
“Haruno I’m so happy you have such feelings for me. I’m honored to have been there for you. My relationship with you has always been meaningful to me.” You seat yourself on a chair while Haruno goes on a knee holding your hand to his cheek while he lays his head against your knee.
“It appears our feelings for each other are mutual. If you would become my Valentine and my beloved girlfriend I’ll forever cherish you.” He looks up to you with hopeful blue eyes. You can see fear as well.
You lift his chin to kiss him. He returns it while holding your hand that lays against his sharp jawline.
“Of course Haruno. I love you too.”
“You’ve made it clear.” He stood up holding your hand with his ever sweet smile your direction. You could look at his charming smile all day long.
He guides you through the garden picking roses for you. You accept them. Smelling the bunch of roses. He appreciates your beauty as you do.
“Would you like ice cream? There’s a shop I'm familiar with in the area.”
“Sounds lovely.” Your eyes light up.
At the ice cream shop he orders two scoops. One chocolate and the other pistachio. You order a scoop of your favorite flavor with one or two toppings. As he was about to pay, the owner laughed and told him they’re on the house. When you asked him why the shop owner did so while you two were outside Haruno explained he protects them from theft.
“I’m not surprised my boyfriend would protect others. That shop keeper was so happy seeing you.”
He was eager to hear such a title bestowed upon him from you. You pointed out ice cream on his nose and cheek. He gets embarrassed but twice as much when you wipe it off for him. His eyes widen noticing your handkerchief you pulled from your skirt pocket. The perfume scented handkerchief made him a bit dizzy. As he’s enjoying himself you caress his jawline then his chin. When he looks directly at you he feels a light peck to his lips. The teasing kiss happened so fast he barely blinked as he realized what happened. His heart melts and the smile given to you is so rewarding.
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“I love you, my dear. Only you can turn me to such a lovesick fool.”
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theuntamedangel · 2 months
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The longer BNHA goes on, the more I start to ask this question.
Is this a story worth telling?
It brought up some interesting things to think about like what it really means to be a hero and if villains really are evil or people that society failed.
But then comes the muddled messages, characters that barely do anything significant other than to be plot devices, the overhyping of one character that ruins the purpose and development of the main character, and the inconsistencies and conclusions that characters come to that makes little to no sense.
Then you just have a story that just goes NOWHERE!
Because let's be honest, how much will society actually change by the end of it all? How will it treat quirkless and those with less than stellar quirks? And will they actually allow people like Bakugou to become heroes all because they "try really hard"?
Hi there, @theloganator101 First off, thank you for the question.
Also, TLDR.
Long before, I had made a somewhat similar post, talking about the same points. What makes a hero a hero? Because it's more than wearing a cape and punching issues and problems into submission. Bad guys simply go to jail and rot till their dying breath. And why is the world of BNHA so black and white? So 'this is good and this is bad'? We have a very compartmentalized version of human society. But you and I both know very well that human nature, human social interactions are the most complex and difficult things to understand. And even though I had seen these flaws in the series much earlier, I was still forgiving of the author because I genuinely thought he would eventually come around and explain why things are they way in the BNHA verse. But that NEVER happened at any point in the series so forget about Hori addressing these issues now because BNHA as a whole doesn't matter.
It's a no brainer to say that the job of a 'hero' is to save the day. But what about those who are the victims of school bullying? (cough cough BkDk is a totally normal and a healthy relationship, you're just a homophobe if you dont ship them) or those who had to keep their voice and entire existence heavily suppressed because your marriage was just a means to an end? (Endeavour is a loving husband, a doting father and a hard working hero) What about those kids who are victims of child abuse, child neglect and discrimination? (the Todoroki kids, Shigaraki, Toga and heck, even low key Spinner grew up in loving and healthy households). The Creature Rejection Clan was created to combat racism and All Might, someone who's name itself reduced crime in Japan by a half simply by existing, did NOTHING against the CRC. I thought 'heroes' were meant to protect the weak and deliver justice to the evil doers irrespective of who or what they are. I thought that's what's really meant to be a hero, to be defenders of mankind. Because lets face it, what's the difference between a villain who kills and a hero who abuses his family members on a physical, mental and an emotional level? What are the required criteria to judge these very two damnable actions with a bias attitude?
Which brings me to another question: Why are the students at UA high only taught martial or physical training? Don't they have special classes where they have to moral education classes or something along those line? Besides the rigorous physical training they need to fight against heroes, they have normal, regular-degular academic curriculum. These so called heroes-in-training are well educated in the art of understanding the topography of a battle field but the system has FAILED to educate the kids to understand why villains are the way they are. The entire system, the root itself, the very foundation of the hero society, FAILED to protect what they claimed to be. People like Toga, Dabi, Overhaul, Spinner, Shigaraki, Twice, Stain, Magne, are all nothing but the products of the hero society, the actual end result of this superficial, celebrity-like lifestyle of hero worship. But many fail to see beyond the stars and shimmers of this artificially constructed world.
The above points are heavily tied to Stain's ideologies. He didn't put up arms and struggles against the hero society for nothing. He knew what he was doing.
This may not be the answer that you're looking for but the way I see it, the MHA story shows us a horrifying representation of our already dark and twisted world but that's where it stops. It wants to do nothing with it because the story doesn't know where to go with it and how to go about doing it. It started something it couldn't finish. It created issues it couldn't solve. So the plot choose a different path to tread upon: focus on the popular people from the hero society who are highly questionable and romanticize their words and actions. It doesn't matter if you faced quirk discrimination or worse, became a butt of ridicule for not having any quirk at all. So long as a bully has given a half baked ''apology'' and works hard to be a hero to satisfy their own ego, it's all good at the end of the day. Self worth issues, self inflicted bodily harm, lack of self worth received by the victim (definitely NOT Izu because Bk treats him with utmost respect and comradery), all melt away due to the power of 'apology' and friendship. It teaches us that celebrity worship, fake sense of heroism, the desire to be the top at the expanse of others are to be treated with normalcy because the show must go on no matter what. The other message is that it's ok be a wife beater and a bully so long as you're doing it for heroism, name, fame, recognition.
Our priorities in the MHA universe are all messed up. We don't even have an inkling of a thought about how Izu feels about quirkless discrimination and the manga is wrapping itself up. So all the answers we can provide ourselves with regarding the matter will be head canon.That's why the main message of the story is that it fails on so many levels in terms of writing a morally upright story. The main hero of our story is nothing to offer, no words of hope and encouragement. That's the other message it has conveyed to us. I'm not saying this, the manga has proven to us time and again what i just said. The other thing it hammers home is the fact that, so long as you're a hero, your unjust behavior will be swept under the rug by your school and higher authorities. The message that MHA time and again conveys is that it loves hypocrisy and double standards. These are the solid reasons as to why the plot cannot logically and cohesively march forward.
"With great power comes with great responsibility" and the MHA verse failed to understand this concept by becoming the very thing the villains are condemned for in this series. That, my friend, is the general message of the story. That, my friend, is the moral lesson of the MHA verse.
#MHA critical thinking #bk is a bully #Izu deserved better #Izu is the protagonist not Bk #Izu matters Bk doesnt #Hori cant write shit
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kovajean · 7 months
Text
As someone whose favorite movie (second only to Whiplash) is Karate Kid III, I’ll never understand people that think it’s a bad movie.
Although my reasons aren’t entirely objective, it’s still worth writing about. It’s crazy how nearly tailor-made this movie is for me.
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The over the top villains in Mike and Silver are perfect, because they have hardly any motive. I love simple shit like that.
Why is Silver doing this? Because his best friend was embarrassed. Why is he doing it in this way? Because he’s evil. Why is he evil? Because he is. Let’s also not forget the fact that he’s a corrupt oil barren. That shit’s hilarious. He’s also hot as fuck and I, as a gay man, am allowed that as a reason.
Why is Mike doing this? Money. Why is he doing it this way? Because he likes beating people up. Why does he like beating people up? Because he does. Who cares that there’s no deeper meaning behind it? I certainly don’t. I like when villains are bad because they like to be. I don’t want anything different. And I especially love that Cobra Kai didn’t retcon his insanity, like they’ve retconned other people’s wrongdoings...
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The dialogue is both great and fucking awful at the same time. Here are some of my favorite lines from the movie:
“They made you suffer, so I’m gonna make them suffer—and suffer, and suffer, and when I think they’ve suffered enough, then I start with the pain.” (This line fucking SUCKS LOL)
“When I'm finished with that kid, he'll be begging me to be his teacher. And you know what he's gonna learn from me? Pain. In every part of his body. And fear—in every part of his mind. And here's the kicker: He's gonna thank me for it.” (This is probably my favorite line ever from any movie. It’s so good. The first time I showed this movie to my ex-boyfriend he would quote this shit at me every single day.)
“Johnny, by the time that little twerp steps into the ring to defend his title, I’m gonna have him thinking he’s invincible. Then he’s gonna find out what pain and fear really mean. Right in front of a thousand people.” (This line gives me chills. So good. Would be better if he used something less Disney bully than “twerp”, though.)
“It’s okay to lose to an opponent—Must not lose to fear!” (This along with the majority of Miyagi’s lines are great. I don’t need to go through them all. This is just my favorite one.)
The thing about these movies is that each one has varying levels of dialogue quality. KK1’s dialogue is fucking awful. But at least some of the lines are funny enough to laugh at. There are some good lines in there, but that’s just it. Good lines. Not memorable. Same thing with KK2. The dialogue in that movie is just good. That’s all. I can’t recite a single line from that movie. Because the lines aren’t memorable. Except for, of course, “honk”. Do not get me wrong though. I'm not saying this movie is the best Karate Kid movie. No way. It's just my favorite, and it's not as bad as people make it out to be.
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The score had me looping it for 3 months straight. I'm not even hyperbolizing here. The whole of it is just wonderful. The reused and remixed songs like Kata Training are great. But when I get to Silver’s theme, that’s a whole different thing. Listen to this shit:
How is this real? I’m a huge classical music fan, and I could not stop playing this song over and over and over again. Listen to this one:
Did you know that this song wasn’t even used in the movie? This is an alternate version of Terry’s Next Move, which plays over the Kreese and Silver phone call as well as the Mike Barnes Magazine Car Ride. The one they went with certainly works better for the scene, but I love, love, love this one. So much more. 
I never thought I’d be hooked on a series of songs from a Karate Kid movie composed by the same guy who did Rocky, but here I am. 6 months strong, too. I was in a high school theater production when I watched this movie for the first time, and every free moment I had backstage was spent looping each piece with any bit of Terry’s theme in it (such as Terry Silver, Terry’s Next Move, Terry Sneaks In, and Daniel Submits. I also had Terry Owns Daniel on loop occasionally, but that song doesn’t have any real instances of Terry’s theme in it–it just sounds similar. And yes, these are the official names of the songs in case you weren’t aware.) I also listened to these songs on loop while doing an art class project (which was of, you guessed it, Karate Kid characters).
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I love Daniel in this movie. Love him. More so than any of the other movies. He’s exponentially sillier, he becomes best friends with a girl instead of dating her, he demonstrates color theory, and his irritability and sass are on full display. I also like that he's not super skinny anymore, and that he actually looks his age. (My love for him may also be aided by the fact that I relate most to his personality and appearance in accordance with this movie versus the first two).
I LOVE JESSICA! You will never meet a bigger Jessica fan than me. I love her so, so dearly.
She brings out the good in Daniel.
She shows us that Daniel is good with rejection. When she tells him she has a boyfriend, his opinion of her stays the exact same. He doesn’t push her. He lets it go, and they immediately become best friends. All because she told him that she hadn’t made any friends yet.
I like that Daniel is protective of her despite the fact that they’re not dating. He really cares about her, and he doesn’t expect anything in return. He’s not spoiled. But I also like that Jessica gets mad at him, because he went way too far. She doesn’t let him get away with it or treat him like a hero. She gets upset. Because Daniel just assaulted someone who hadn’t done anything deserving of violence (yet). And when she leaves, Daniel recognizes his mistake. He recognizes all of his mistakes. All because of Jessica. I can promise you, had she reacted positively, the movie would have ended differently. She was the step he needed to snap out of his power trip. And I love her for it.
She also trains with Daniel! None of his love interests did that!
I’m saving the color theory section for a separate post where I will go over every Daniel outfit and what they mean for the scene because I have the free time to do so and dammit I’m not hyper fixated on Karate Kid III enough already so I might as well let myself get worse. You feel me?
Despite the fact that Daniel's clearly nervous around Silver, he’s still a piece of shit during their training sessions. I respect that. He’s also incredibly snappy towards Mike and his gang even though he knows he shouldn’t be. His morals are also on full display if you think about it. He’s mean to mean people, even if being nice to them will work out better in the long run. Because he refuses to be nice to people who don’t deserve it. As well as vice versa. Except for when he snaps at Miyagi. Hmm, I wonder why he does this? Perhaps, is it maybe, the fact that he’s being manipulated to use anger as a coping mechanism?
People go on and on about how whiny Daniel is in this movie, but they don’t seem to consider why.
Daniel is assaulted over and over again by Mike and his gang, and his new best friend gets roped into it. He stores this anger because he has nowhere else to put it. Then he meets Silver, someone who gives him an outlet for it. He finally has something to do with this pent-up rage, until he’s given mixed signals by the people around him when he uses this newfound coping skill. Miyagi gets upset, Silver praises him, Jessica leaves him. How is he supposed to know what to do? Of course he has a mental break. He rants to Jessica about it, then to Miyagi, and he thinks he has his problems fixed. Then, to make matters worse, he finds out that Silver was tricking him the whole time. Now he has to relearn Miyagi-Do. That fucking sucks. I’d go crazy too. This, along with the fact that he wanted to compete in the All-Valley so badly that he brought it up to Miyagi on multiple occasions, was shot down every time, finally gave up, and then was forced to care again? AND Miyagi refuses to train him even though it’s hardly his decision anymore? How Daniel kept going in this movie is beyond me. He’s not whiny, he’s livid. He can’t catch a fucking break.
I’d say his anger is accumulated throughout the movies. This one year has been more eventful than the rest of his life was prior. Everyone he meets seems to want his head on a stake and there’s literally nothing he can do about it. He just wants to be a normal guy, and no one will let him.
He’s also certainly not weaker in this movie in comparison to the second. He’s been broken down by everyone trying to fight him and he’s at a point where he’s trying not to care. He’s trying so hard, but when Mike shows up it’s difficult for him to keep pretending. The fact that Daniel loses to him is meant to show you that Mike is strong, not that Daniel is weak. Anyone that can defeat Daniel after Daniel’s torment in KK2 deserves to be feared. And don’t forget that Mike had the ability to kill Daniel in the bonsai scene. The only reason he’s less threatening than Chozen is because his acting is bad.
If you want to argue that he’s weak throughout the entire movie, then you’d be half correct, I guess? He’s a different sort of strong for the last half of the movie. This is because Silver teaches him different moves. Daniel stops using what he used to know (the style of Karate that we’ve seen him use up until this point), and is now using exclusively this new style. And when you consider that this new style only has 3 different moves, of course he’s going to look weaker. The All-Valley scene Daniel also isn’t weaker if that’s your argument, because there is genuinely no other way he could have beaten Mike than with Kata. Mike is immune to Miyagi-Do. That’s why Daniel never beat him in any of the scenes leading up to the All-Valley. Daniel is also overcome with fear thanks to Silver. The ineffectiveness of Miyagi-Do on Mike and the lasting fear of the manipulation he dealt with is not a good combination. He beat Mike with Kata because he caught Mike completely off guard. That’s how you beat him. We know that’s how you beat him because it’s the first time we see him genuinely lose, other than when he lost to Miyagi multiple times, which is another instance of Mike being caught off guard and losing, because why would he expect an old man to be that good at Karate (and also, it’s Miyagi, of course he’s gonna lose to Miyagi. He’s not comparable to Daniel). Can you assume that Silver told Mike to be wary of Miyagi? He’d never seen the guy fight.
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Anyways this movie has been on repeat in my brain since March and nothing I can do can stop it so why not indulge in it, huh? Just a look into my dark and twisted mind
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Part 1 - Fic
The three o'clock bell rang two minutes late. El Byers jumped out of her seat and sprinted out of the classroom. She had to find her brother. Will should have art now. El groaned, the art classrooms were on the other side of the school. 
As she ran El bumped into someone.
"Jane! Watch where you're going!" Cried a nasty voice.
El looked up and her heart skipped a beat. A tall girl with a blonde, low ponytail and a face crafted by the gods was standing in front of her. Oh no.
"Sorry Angela." She muttered as she ran around the blonde girl.
Angela smirked.
"Watch out Hopper!" She calls after El.
After what seemed to be a hundred years, El finally got to the art block. 
El peeked into a window, A4. Yes! There was Will!
She opened the door and jumped.
"Will!"
"Jane!" He cried, turning away from his canvas. Will walked over to the door where El stood.
El was always called Jane Hopper at school, it was to keep her real identity secret. If the wrong people found out the true story about Will and Eleven Byers, their whole family could become subject to torture or something far worse...
"C'mon, we're meeting Max out the front of school!" El urged him.
"Alright, let's go then." 
El basically dragged Will out of the classroom.
"How was art?" El asked Will.
"It was fun. I'm painting a dragon!"
"One from dnd?" 
"Yeah. How was woodwork?"
"Eh, it was OK. I wish Max was there." 
"It's a shame the school won't let her do woodwork, she's really good at it."
Hawkins High wouldn't allow Max to take woodwork on account of it being "too dangerous for her because she's blind." El had seen Max drop into a 20 foot halfpipe, no helmet. What was really so dangerous about a hammer?
“Max has this friend who’s transferring here, I think you’d get along well. Like me and Max!” said El, jumping to the bottom of a flight of stairs.
Will gave her a knowing grin.
“What?”
“Nothing, I’m just glad you’ve got a friend like Max.”  Will replied. 
He was glad. After living as a lab rat for twelve years, El deserved to have a good best friend. She'd struggled with bullying since she started school in 9th grade. People picked at her limited speech and lack of social skills. Will had never been able to stand up to bullies, but Max Mayfield? Yeah, Will Byers will never forget the day she poured half a gallon of strawberry milk into the bags of Troy Walsh and his dickhead friends.
Finally, the Byers twins reached the entrance of the school buiding.
El sprinted out the doors, having spotted Max. She could really run when she felt like it.
Will followed her. He could also run when he felt like it... He really didn't feel like it.
“Max!” El called out to her friend, knowing Max wouldn’t see her coming.
“Jane!” Called Max, swinging her head around, trying to place what direction El’s voice had come from.
“Jane slow dow--” Will stopped mid protest, he saw the person standing next to Max.
He was the most handsome person Will had ever seen. Long black hair, a black hoodie paired with black jeans. Lots of black actually, because he was also wearing black converse all stars.
"H-hi, I'm Will!" Will's face resembled a beetroot.
"Hey, I'm Mike. Nice to meet you!"
Will beamed, and Mike smiled back. Next to them, El was almost suffocating Max in a bone-crushing hug. They whispered something to eachother, and then fell apart, El had a mischievous glint in her eyes, and Max a meddling smirk.
El turned to Mike.
"Hey Jane."
"Hey Mike!"
She attempted to hide her trouble-making tone, but Will knew it all to well to be fooled. He was about to say something when Max slid over.
"Have a good day Will?" She asked. She folded her arms. She was definitely up to something.
"Yeah, pretty good." Will replied, slightly suspicious.
Mike turned to face everyone.
"I've got to go. A tour of the school or something."
"Bye Mike!" Cried El, jumping and waving, overenthusiastic as ever.
Max settled for a simple "C ya."
Will waved with a smile.
"Nice to meet you Mike. See you around?"
"For sure!" Mike agreed. Will's heart gave a flutter.
Damn it! A crush was the last thing Will needed to deal with at the moment. Honestly, as if he didn't have enough on his plate.
Mike waved as he walked into the entrance of the school building. Rows of lockers were scattered throughout the front building.
He's pretty cute, Mike thought. How does Max find the cute ones? She can't even see!
Will, El and Max rode down the street towards their neighborhood. Max on her skateboard, Will on his bike and El on rollerblades. El was surprisingly good at rollerskating, Will had been suspicious she was using her powers to steady herself, but no, El just had natural talent.
"Where'd you meet Mike?" Will asked Max, in what was supposed to be a casual tone, but probably wasn't.
Max paused skating. She brought her hand up to her face and frowned in thought.
“I think... Yeah we met in elementary school. Back when we went to the Grammar School. He was in my class in the second grade.” 
Hawkins Grammar School was a big fancy building on the other side of town. It took kindergarten through to seniors. All the rich, snobby kids went there. Well, most of them. A few, like Angela and Steve Harrington went to Hawkins High.
“You went to the Grammar School?” Will was surprised. The Byers had only ever been to the public schools. The grammar school was expensive, and Joyce never saw the appeal of it anyway. Why pay extra just for the same thing?
“For a couple of years, yeah. Until Mom and my stepdad got married. Billy didn’t want to go to the grammar school, and so I had to move.” Max rolled her eyes - old habits.
“Did you ever meet Dustin?” Asked El. Dustin Henderson was a good friend of Will’s. In elementary school, Dustin was on a scholarship at the Grammar school. It paid half the yearly cost, but when Dustin’s dad had passed away, the Hendersons couldn't cover the cost on only his mom's minimum wadge job.
“Yeah, he and Mike were friends, so I knew him a little bit, but it wasn’t really ‘til Middle School when I started dating Lucas that we actually became friends.”
“Then we met through Dustin and Lucas.” Will added.
Lucas Sinclair was Will's other best friend. They'd been friends since elementary school. Lucas and Will always wanted to play "wizards and warriors" at recess. Wizards and warriors mostly consisted of waving sticks around and trying to speak in old English. Is it surprising they love dnd?
Max nods, “Then I met Jane well, you know when...” Max trailed off.
Max and El had met in a very unusual manner. But that was a story for another day.
“Race you to our street!” Yelled El, already flying ahead on her rollerblades.
“Unfair!” Cried Max, pushing her skateboard and cruising down the street.
Will chuckled and peddled faster, determined to beat El. He can’t let her win three days in a row.
***
The Byers' kitchen is cozy, with it's strawberry wallpaper and marble bench. On said bench sits El Byers. She has a smug grin on her face.
“Three days in a row!” She cried. Will shook his head. Siblings are infuriating.
"You cheated."
"Sure."
“Hurry up with the snacks. We’re supposed to meet Max back at the park in two minutes.”  
El reached for a few cookies, opening the pantry and moving the food with her powers. Then she shoved them into her bag.
“Done!” She cried as she jumped off the bench. She wiped the blood from her nose. Should El use her powers for household tasks? No, probably not. Does she do it anyway? Absolutely.
“Let’s go then.” 
A snapchat notification sounded. El checked her phone. El's phone case was covered in tiny sitck-on dimonties.
“Max just wanted to let us know Mike will be at the park.” El informed him, the ghost of a badly concealed grin crossed her face.
“That's okay. I don’t mind.” Maybe he and Mike can hang out when El and Max inevitably ditch him to use El’s powers in some incredibly irresponsible way that Will should reprimand them for but can’t actually be bothered to. (What Joyce and Hop don’t know won’t hurt them.)
"So, what do you think of Mike?"
Will can hear the grin on El's face. It sings I'm up to no gooooood agaaaaiiiin. Will groaned, if Mike's transferring to Hawkins High, then he'll be hearing a lot more singing grins.
"I don't know, I only spoke two sentences to him!"
"Hm." El seemed unconvinced. She typed something into her phone, then slid it into her bag.
"We should go meet Max and Mike now!" El urged Will, as though she wasn't just wasting time gloating about cheating.
Will followed his twin sister out of the kitchen. He turned off the lights, wiping the blood from his own nose. The scar where a 012 tattoo used to be got smeared with red.
"You shouldn't use your powers for silly things, like turning off the lights." El reprimanded him, waggling her finger and tutting.
"Hypocrite!"
"You shouldn't!"
"I'll zap you!" Will wiggled his fingers at El, squinting his eyes in mock concentration.
El chuckled, it's fun to wind up her brother sometimes. Will has never used his powers to hurt anyone. Except Brenner, but he deserved it.
El and Will Byers leave the Byers house, each with blood on their sleeves.
links: chapter 1 comic.
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acircusfullofdemons · 8 months
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Questions: 1,, 4,, 18,, 19,, 20 for the Para Motivation Ask Meme please !! (ෆ ᴗ͈ ω ᴗ͈ ෆ) I’’d like to request Neil and Ozzie,, but you can do the paras you’’ve most recently been daydreaming about if you’’d like !! ( ◉ ω ◉ )
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[ ASK GAME ] || (I'm pretty sure you meant the para relationship ask game lol) Funnily enough Neil & Ozzie WERE the last paras I daydreamed about!! They were doing kinky sex while I was working and uhm I think Neil might be ace?? We'll get back to that at some point. But I'm also gonna do Alice from @fractured-fables since I drew her earlier & also Emory bc there's now a sign at work that looks SO MUCH LIKE HIM it makes me loose my mind.
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1.) What’s their relationship with their parents like? Is there one parent they’re closer too than the other? If your was raised by a different caretaker, what is their relationship like, and how does your para feel about the absence of their parents in their life?
Neil: Technically doesn't have parents as he was treated as an experiment since the minute he was born. However, his father was a scientist at Arcaynis (the organization that's experimenting on people). He willingly subjected his own son to horrific experiments, but thankfully(??) Neil didn't know this. He doesn't really have any parental figures, and kinda wished he did. Maybe he wouldn't be so fucked up if someone held him a little bit as a kid.
Ozzie: His father was very abusive, but thankfully his momma was always ready to defend him. He is a very big momma's boy and yknow, I think they still talk sometimes. He probably sent her some of the money he stole when he was a villain.
Alice: Does not get along with her parents. Well. Its complicated. She loves them, they love her, but they don't really "get" her, if you catch my drift?? Objectively speaking, they're fine parents, just probably not the best for Alice. HOWEVER, Phineas becomes like her second dad/uncle/older brother figure in Wonderland, and those two understand each other SO WELL. Funnily enough, they actually hated each other when they first met! Both for good reasons but nowadays you'd never know. Also did you know some people ship Alice & Hatter romantically??? They are Wrong. So very wrong thats her dad!!!
Emory: His "backstory" gives him parents, but they're also dead and desperately need to be buried bc they're rotting corpses are stinking up the house. He doesn't really consider them his "parents", anyway. Technically, he doesn't have any, and he's perfectly fine with that. Still, Theia likes to call him her son sometimes which is kinda funny so he allows it and humors her by occasionally referring to her as his mother.
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4.) Who was your para’s childhood best friend? When and how did they meet? Are they still friends?
Neil: Dahlia!! She was the daughter of another scientist at Arcaynis, but not an experiment. Neil loved her, she was quite literally the ONLY good thing in his life. Dahlia wasn't supposed to sneak into wherever Neil was being kept, but she was curious. And stubborn, because she kept coming back almost every day! Eventually, she was encouraged to interact with Neil to observe how he reacted to certain stimuli. Unfortunately, he accidentally killed her while he was escaping Arcaynis. He often wonders what it'd be like if she lived — would she be proud? He almost idolizes and romanticizes her/her existence. It's kinda creepy.
Ozzie: Ozzie was a very shy, soft spoken, and introverted kid. He was bullied a lot for being a teachers pet / being smart. It was rough, but Nora Osborn took pity on him and helped Ozzie gain some confidence during high school! I have not introduced her yet (bc I. keep forgetting to) but Nora is Ozzie's wife! Canonically she had roughly 8 minutes of screen time and died but I haven't fully decided on what I wanna do with her in MaaC yet. But she does exist, and Ozzie loves her dearly.
Alice: Her best friends are Dorothy and Wendy!!! They've been bffs for varying years, but all met during early childhood. I think they all just met on the playground one day, yknow how little kids are lol. And yes, they're still friends today! I call them the "iskeai girls" bc they all get transported to other worlds lol.
Emory: OK so technically Emory never had a "childhood", he's an ageless being that sort of just...exists. but uhm I guess we can say Ketrill?? Ketrill was created by Theia so they spent a lot of time together. They're kinda like brothers.
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18.) How important are your para’s various relationships to them? Do they cherish the people closest to them? Does their support system keep them going? How about strangers? What are their feelings about humanity as a whole? Is it easier for them to live those closest to them vs humanity as a whole?
Neil: EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. He has never had friends/family/ANYTHING before escaping Arcaynis, so he'll cling to anything he can stick his claws in. He learns to balance different relationships (as well as the types of relationships) as time goes on with the help of those around him, but by GOD was he, uh, a bit of an obsessive stalker towards practically anyone he met the first few years of living in society. As for humanity? It sucks. Shut that shit down.
Ozzie: Oohh, he's a sappy mother motherfucker that loves his friends and probably believed in the power of friendship when he was younger (he still kinda does sshhh). He has mixed views on humanity but like, he's human too so he doesn't want it totally gone.
Alice: Depends on the person tbh. Earth? Forget them tbh. Wonderland? THAT'S HER FAMILY!!! Yes all of Wonderland is her family now lol that's her HOME. She loves it there and genuinely considers it her home, she'd live there always if given the option. She thinks humanity on earth sucks but Wonderlandians got smth going on trust her on that.
Emory: So looking at it now I think Emory is only close to like, 5 people total. That's it. I don't know if he'd consider them a "friend group" or a "support system" but he does care for them, which is saying something, as he doesn't really get close to people. I don't think he really has an opinion on humanity. Like it exists. That's it. He doesn't really...care??
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19.) How does your para realize they care about someone? Is it instantaneous, or a slow realization? Are they dense, or maybe realize once it’s too late that there was something there?
Neil: He's...a little dense. To everyone else, it's so fucking obviously because he's trailing after the person like a lost puppy and is borderline obsessed with them. But he probably won't realize how much they mean until someone either points it out or he looses that person.
Ozzie: It creeps up on him. He knows he cares about someone, its the level/extent of it that surprises him! Like he thought Neil was just a good ally/coworker until something innocuous happened, like maybe he saw the other sleeping and then BAM! Head over heels in love. Incredible, really.
Alice: I feel like Alice is similar to Ozzie, she knows she cares about those around her, I guess sometimes she just forgets HOW much she cares. Or sometimes its hard to care, with all the shit they've been through/have going on. She tries her best to make sure those she loves feel appreciated, though.
Emory: Imma be honest...he doesn't get "close" to people. He's an Interdimensional Demonic Cat, The Librarian. He records everything, narrates all of it. So getting close to those he is observing...he doesn't like it. He was close to Delilah, and she died. He was a little too involved with False Moon, and they're pretty traumatized. By FF/LIW he's kinda keeping his distance. Anyway! He knows pretty quickly when he genuinely cares about someone and not solely because he wants the "story" to continue. And he will deny it until the end of time, because God forbid a kitty experience love!!
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20.) How does your para expresses their feelings of care/love to others? What’s their love language (giving and receiving!)
Neil: Gift giving!! He gives very weird gifts, though. Honestly he's kinda like a cat bringing its owner dead animals?? Like uh thanks buddy but what am I supposed to do with this exactly. He very much likes receiving physical contact. Hold him. Please.
Ozzie: Quality time!! He likes taking people out to museums and aquariums, those type of places, and seeing what they point out. He also likes receiving quality time. Literally all you gotta do is exist in the same room as him he is so easy to please.
Alice: Acts of service!! She'll get your groceries! She'll paint your roses! She'll die for you! Literally!! She likes receiving words of affirmation. Tell her she's doing good. Please. Don't actually she'll break down and sob.
Emory: Physical contact. I feel like that's a typical/standard cat answer. Yes he does express love like an actual cat would. He likes receiving quality time. Just spend some time in his library, he'll appreciate it a lot.
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hellfiremunsonn · 2 years
Text
Don’t ever do that again. Eddie Munson x Reader
Don’t ever do that again (Inspired by that fight scene in perks of being a wallflower)
I do not allow my writing to be republished anywhere other than my own blog without my consent
Summary: The popular kids of Hawkins high bullying you wasn't something you were unfamiliar with. It was almost routine to walk through the metal doors and hear comments, jabs, insults, hurled at you left and right, about you, your boyfriend, your sexuality and your friends. But it never bothered you too much. You were friends with someone of the coolest and most annoying people in the school and you wouldn't have it any other way. It did however, bother Eddie.
(This fic has no smut. Younger audiences are able to read this without any explicit content. but I will still be marking and labeling my writing as 18+)
18 + IF YOU ARE NOT 18 OR OLDER DO NOT READ OR INTERACT WITH MY WRITING. IT IS NOT INTENDED FOR MINORS. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MEDIA YOU CONSUME.
Word count: 2552
Warnings: blood, fighting, homophobic comments, the word ‘lesbian’ used negatively, swearing, established relationship, fem reader.
(I want to add that being part of the LGBT+ is nothing to be ashamed of and these words are not insults. I myself am part of the LGBT+ Community and would never maliciously use these words towards someone. This is all in the name of writing, and the timeline of stranger things being set in the 80′s, being part of the LGBT+ community was not something people often talked or bragged about, especially in high school. I do not condone using these words as insults, nor do I use them as insults in my day to day life. Its how I feel Jason would address this situation and what slurs he would use) 
♡♡♡
The lunch bell rang and I exited my English class making my way to my locker before heading to the cafeteria. It had been one of those days where time seemed to go by way slower than it actually was and it was agonizing. The only thing that was getting me through the day was knowing I would see Eddie at lunch. 
Attempting to switch out my textbooks with one hand someone on the other side of my locker door slapped the books out of my hand and onto my feet in front of me. I rolled my eyes closing my locker looking over to see the group of familiar faces. "Jason" I said giving him a nod "and ladies" I said addressing many of the cheerleaders standing behind him minus Chrissy Cunningham. The only popular cheerleader who didn't involve herself in the bullying activities. 
It was a cruel routine at this point for them to bother me, and most often right before lunch. "Where's the rest of you freaks?" Jason asked. Venom in his words.
 He never liked me because I wouldn't pretend to like him. Pretend he was a good person, when he really wasn't and I pitied Chrissy for ever being with him. He also didn't like that I was open about my sexuality, being attracted to men and women, but to him, I was a'freak' and a lesbian' and that Eddie and I used each other to hide our sexualities by being in a 'straight' relationship which was so far from the truth. 
"Probably at lunch like everybody else Jason" I said as I turned towards them now, crossing my arms over my chest. "Or did you forget how to tell time again?" I said mocking sympathy and patting him on the shoulder. He slapped my hand off of him aggressively. 
"Don't touch me"
"Or what Jason? You gunna hit me? Show everyone how much of an asshole you really are?" 
He scoffed leaning back slightly. I could tell he wanted to say and do more than he could, but his reputation was more important. "I won't do anything but they might" He said gesturing to the girls behind him. 
That's when my stomach dropped a little. The girls had cornered me before, and would beat on me secretly in the girls bathroom after locking the door behind them. 
And just like then, they lead and pushed me into the girls bathroom, locking the door behind them. Pushing me against the wall they ripped my backpack off of me, dumping the remains onto the floor, and dropping my books into the toilet. I didn't often fight back. Because at this point there was no use, it was me against all of them not a fair fight. But seeing them drop my personal books, ones I loved ad cherished into not only water, but toilet water hurt more than anything they could to do me physically. 
Today that was all they did. Ruined my belongings and left me. Once they finally retreated out of the bathroom I slid down the wall letting a few tears roll down my cheeks before I aggressively whipped them away with my sleeve. I retrieved my books from the water and dried them as best as I could with the hand dryer that lazily blew lukewarm air through the soggy pages. 
After fixing them as much as I could, I brought the books back to my locker and finally made my way into the cafeteria Jason and his groupies snickering and whispering homophobic comments towards me as I walked past them.
Before sitting down at the end of the cafeteria table with the rest of the gang, I gave Eddie a quick kiss to his temple. Turning towards me beaming he said loudly. "There's my gorgeous girl! I was just about to send a search party out for you!" Dropping my bag onto the floor near my feet I went to sit when Eddie reached towards me with both hands. "No come back, maybe kiss me on the mouth" His hands cupping my face to pull me into him. I giggled into the kiss as he littered my mouth and cheeks with small pecks. "Get a room" Dustin groaned, followed by a fake gag from Mike.
"Oh shut it Henderson" I sad elbowing him in the side. "Don't you have a girlfriend you kiss?" 
"Yeah but you two are like adults, people who take care of us,  it's gross" he shook his head and returned to his conversation with Mike. 
I rolled my eyes and smiled placing my backpack in my lap to get out my English notebook to finish my essay groaning when I noticed my notebook had not survived the wet paper backs I tried to quickly transport into my locker. Eddie raised an eyebrow. "Why is your shit all wet?"
"I uh, I dropped it when I was in the bathroom, and you know how the floor is always so wet in there" I tried my best to sound nonchalant. Eddie didn't buy a single word that left my mouth but I carried on as if I couldn't feel him staring between me and Jasons table. I leaned over into Eddies side and squeezed one of his hands. "It's no big deal Eddie" I whispered into him. He was stiff, and I could hear his heart thumping loudly in his chest. 
"That's bullshit (Y/N) and you know it. I'm sick and tired of them fucking with you just because you're with me, and for you liking women" He said the last part through gritted teeth. He had his fair share of homophobic comments thrown at him often, but he was more annoyed about them being thrown at me. "Have they seen women?" He questioned with a laugh. "How can you look at them and not want to kiss them?" 
I frowned furrowing my brows. I hated that he thought they teased me because of him. I loved him for everything he was. We hadn't said those words to each other yet, but I knew he loved me back as much as I loved him, and I didn't care what other people thought of him, or me, or all of us at this table. So if I had to endure a little bit of teasing then so be it. 
"I don't care Eddie" I moved my hand to his thigh which was aggressively bouncing up and down underneath the table. I kissed his shoulder a few times, moving the hair away from his face. I placed a gentle hand on his cheek turning his face towards me slightly as his gaze from Jason finally left and his eyes instantly softened when they met mine. "I don't care baby" I said giving him a half smile. 
The rest of the day went on, and felt a lot quicker after seeing Eddie. Not to mention it was Friday which meant I could stay with Eddie until late Sunday night, and I could hold and kiss him and remind him how much I loved him. 
A thankful sigh left my chest when the final bell rang. I shoved my things into my locker and rushed to meet Eddie by his van. Running towards him I jumped into him, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissed him hard. "Someones happy to see me" He said pulling back to look at me. Hands firmly on my waist.
 "I'm always happy to see you Munson" I said squinting up at him through the sun. "And I'll never understand why" He said peppering my face with kisses again. "Cause I like you stupid" I said shoving my face into his chest.
"Well I like you back stupid" He said into the top of my head. 
Our sweet moment was ruined as the loud voices of Jason and his posse burst through the school doors heading towards Jasons car, only a few spots down from Eddies van. Eddies grip on my waist tightened when the group stalked towards us slightly. 
He kissed me on the forehead before moving away from me abruptly almost causing me to fall over from the sudden movement. "Eddie don't!" I said turning to follow him. He stalked over to Jason, grabbed Jason by the collar of his jacket and pulled him away from his car with Jasons posse close behind him, threatening glares ready to strike at the drop of a hat. 
Eddie stood close to Jason mumbling something that I couldn't hear. I grabbed onto Eddies arm. "Eddie, c'mon, he's not worth it" I tugged at him slightly but he didn't budge.  
Eddies breath was rapid as he stood with his face close to Jasons. Eyes ablaze with fury. I tugged on his arm a few more times cursing him silently as the rest of the students that still lingered the parking had gone quiet in anticipation. His shoulders slightly relaxed and he let go of Jason taking a step back. 
He turned around, facing me and we began walking back to his van when Jason spat "yeah, listen to your little lesbian, Freak"
One swift motion and Eddie was already on top of Jason, a bloody nose already ruining the jocks previous 'perfect' complexion. But it wasn't long until all the jocks had Eddie on his back while Jason threw punches to him. 
"Eddie!" I yelled running towards him trying to pull off one of the jocks but was pushed back and elbowed in the nose in the process. Falling back into the crowed. Max and Mike held me back from trying to intervene anymore knowing I would only end up getting myself more hurt. I hadn't even realized they were around still, and felt slightly embarrassed but I still struggled in their grip. 
Falling into them and onto my knees sobbing and yelling Eddies name. Tears and blood rolling down my face while I watched as they hit Eddie over and over again. 
"Jason!" 
A loud voice rang out, and it was Lucas, recently part of the popular group from being on the basketball team, but he was always one of us. Lucas pulled Jason back by his collar just like Eddie did and landed one aggressive punch to his face, almost knocking him unconscious. 
Lucas shook his hand as the rest of the jocks watched in shock. "Get the fuck off of him" He spat. They listened and they all backed off, scurrying to Jasons side. The jocks quickly got into Jasons car and sped out of the parking lot of the school loudly. and I flinched at the pitch of the tires screeching as they left.Eddie seemed to be untouched apart from a small split in his lip. 
Lucas reached a hand out to help him up and Eddie gave him a slap on the back. "Thanks man"
"Freaks gotta stick together" Lucas said shrugging with a small smile.  
The crowd around us slowly dispersed but I still sat on my knees panting. Drops of blood splattered on my knees and floor. Eddie glanced in my direction coming to his knees in front of me holding my face in his hands. 
"Baby" He said softly "Are you okay?". A small whimper left my mouth as I pulled him into me tightly causing him to fall back a little. He held me tightly as I sobbed into him. Max and Mike giving Eddie a nod before taking off to go home. 
"Don't ever, do that again" I choked. I leaned back to look at him. 
My perfect boy. Hair disheveled, a small sheen of sweat across his forehead, and that bright red cut on his bottom lip. He ran his thumbs over my cheeks, wiping the tears away as best he could.  I leaned back to aggressively take off the long sleeve shirt I was wearing leaving me in a black tank top I had on underneath. Wiping my nose with my shirt, not caring that the blood would most definitely stain it.  Eddie took my crumpled shirt from my shaking hands. Tilting my chin up towards him he inspected my nose, carefully rubbing, and dabbing away any excess blood I missed. "Good as new" He said quietly and kissed me very gently on the tip of my nose.
"I mean it" I said still angry. "Don't do that, ever again. I don't give a shit what they have to say. About you, or me, or the fucking fourteen year olds we hang out with. I know who I am and I know who you are and I don't care what they think, I want you safe Eddie, always, and today was the farthest things from that, he could have killed you, you know how Jason is, and now he's not going to stop until you're hurt more than he is" I huffed, feeling fresh hot tears in my eyes. 
"I'm sorry...I really am, I just- I can't stand it when they talk about the person I love like that" He said looking off into the now empty parking space where Jason once stood
love.
He said it. Those words I've been dying to hear and too afraid to say. He said it. I felt my heart hammering in my chest.
"You love me?" I said softly. 
"Of course I do" He said returning his hand to my cheek. I leaned into it smiling. "I don't expect you to say it back, you say it whenever you're ready to say it" 
I rolled my eyes and leaned forward kissing him a little too hard and the slight pain in my nose made me wince a little but I didn't care. 
Pulling apart from him reluctantly to catch my breath I whispered "I love you so much Eddie Munson". 
Eddie pulled me into him with one hand and threw the other hand up in the air with a fist. "The hottest girl in Hawkins loves me!" He yelled.
I laughed and threw one of my hands over his mouth as he laughed into it. "Quit your yelling Munson and take me home. I wanna show you how much I really love you" 
"Oh?" He said raising his eyebrows as a small smirk formed at the corner of his mouth. "Well what are we sitting around for sweetheart? lets go!" He leaped up off the ground helping me up with two hands and throwing me over his shoulder towards his van. I giggled against him, struggling to get a good breath with his shoulder digging into my stomach. "Eddie!" I squealed kicking my feet slightly. He slowly flipped me back over and onto the passenger seat smiling widely. He kissed me once more before closing my door and climbing into the seat next to me. One hand on the wheel and one hand firmly on my thigh as he drove a little too fast back to his trailer.  
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keepyourpantsongohan · 3 months
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Ayesha Liveblogs Jujutsu Kaisen 0
Not to immediately harp on how they designed Okkotsu's bully, but I knew. I knew from the Coat Rack Man. I saw the writing on the wall. And yet: 😨🤬🤡
Oh hey, we're back in Gojo's favourite room for a harrowing student-teacher conference:
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The Jujutsu High School Board LOVES a secret execution. It's like their version of detention
"The curse placed upon you is one that can save people too, depending on how it's used." What an optimistic thing to say to someone who has just gravely injured 7 people seemingly by accident
I love everyone's old haircuts. Inumaki's spiky hair is fun! Also hgkjhgkjgh @ Team Gojo being the only students never pictured in a classroom
Also, the hair makes him look EVEN MORE like a smaller Gojo
"This is where we learn curses to exorcise curses." [Mentally, stressed] Tell me that ahead of time. HAHAHA. Did Yuta just think he was going to a regular school?
"It's a promise. That when we both grow up, we'll get married." Awww, Yuta and his playground fiancée are cute
Oh. Never mind. I take it back, it is in fact extremely haunting (no pun intended):
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I am immediately endeared to Yuta and his awkward, haunted demeanour. He's just trying to live, huh?
"Put... me... on?" I feel like this can't possibly be right but immediately I want to assume that this curse is born of elementary school children not wanting to put on their jackets
"I want the confidence to say it's okay that I'm alive!" Maybe the real curse was insecurity all along
Awwwww I love Maki's gruff inspiration speech that also simultaneously promises Yuta that after this mission they'll be friends
As he has the ring on, makes me think it must be out of the question for Yuta to date if he's haunted by his ghostly fiancée
Also they're not going to elaborate on why Yuta was in the hospital?
"This is my personal theory, but there's no curse more twisted than love." Gojo said: Why yes, I have been hurt before, thank you for not asking, Yuta
"Do not forget that Okkotsu's secret execution was only suspended." "And don't you forget that if it comes to that, I'll side with Okkotsu." I love when Gojo is righteous. It's nice!
"Besides, no one's allowed to take youth away from young people," said Gojo, as if enduring violent battles with murderous apparitions is something that all teenagers do
I don't know how putting Rika's curse in a sword will break it so much as relocate it, but I do love a training montage:
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"Maki! You've got a chance!" HAHAHAHA the dating question has finally been raised. Also I love that Panda's qualification for if someone can date Maki is if they also use weapons. The Nobara bond holds true too
I really do like Inumaki. The way he pushes his teammates out of harm's way. His curse essentially being its own kind of chronic illness (me too, buddy!) What a reliable and strong presence he is, even permitting for the fact that it is hard for people to understand him
"Inumaki-kun is kind. He doesn't want to accidentally curse others, so he speaks in rice ball components—words that can't carry curses. Even today, he helped me out. He tried to keep me away from danger." I love that right after I was mentally monologuing about how much I enjoy Inumaki, so too, is Yuta
That is extremely not how cough syrup works but we love a combo attack. [Kakashi voice] Teamwork!
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"Once I break Rika-chan's curse, I'll be a normal person." Doesn't bode well for Okkotsu that he's still in this school, hm?
Omg where did Geto get Toji's weird worm storage friend???
Also since Geto's around, I wonder if this is going to feature the infamous attack we heard mentioned in S1
"Toge's cursed speech is something he's been able to use since he's been born, so back in the day, he struggled quite a bit." Imagining Baby Toge accidentally throwing his parents into the wall when they play peekaboo
Awwwww Inumaki empathizing with Yuta's involuntary curse
Why did Gojo sniff as he entered the development as if he could smell that Geto had been there gjghgfgg
"Geto Suguru. One of the four special-grade jujutsu sorcerers, who was banished from Jujutsu High after cursing over a hundred normal people to death. He's the worst curse user." 1) It helps to have the context of the Hidden Inventory Arc right before this 2) There are only FOUR? And Yuta is one?? 3) It's funny that they're all curse users essentially but it's derogatory to say that instead of sorcerer. Oh, the anime social structure
"I don't want everyone to catch the monkey smell." Geto said: I'm icky! And also maybe xenophobic. It depends on what metaphor you're going for
"We're going to kill all non-sorcerers and create a world with only jujutsu sorcerers." What makes Geto think this is a marketable business plan
Also the answer to my earlier question about the traumatic attack is: Yes, yes, it is
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Gojo said: Stop trying to convert my students, it hurts my feelings!!
"I don't really understand what you're talking about, but I can't help anyone who insults my friends!" This is the funniest possible reason that Yuta could say no to ethnic cleansing. But alright, I'll take it
"On the coming December 24th, when the sun sets, we shall conduct the Night Parade of a Hundred Demons." Ah, it's the preamble to the traumatic attack. Also, Merry Christmas?
"I find it hard to believe he'd start a war he couldn't win." Gojo said: I have never accused Geto of optimism before
Geto really does love a diversion attack. And also torturing high school students. It's a wonder they didn't see the whole Exchange Event problem coming
"Why are you still a jujutsu sorcerer then?" "Because I'm spiteful." Hahah, I love Maki ❤️
"I wish I could be like you," said Yuta to Maki, immediately after her saying she's spiteful and wishes to crush her own family from within
HAHAHAHA YUTA OFFERING TO HELP WITH FAMILY-CRUSHING. What a nice, weird boy he is:
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Maki said: You've unlocked the secret phrase to my heart. I now want to give u a leetle kees
NOT TO QUOTE THIS SHOW AT ITSELF BUT: "Jujutsu sorcerers are extraordinarily compassionate. An opening is always created when their ally is injured." 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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Inumaki using his remaining strength to tell Yuta to run away 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 The only time we've heard him use someone's name!!!!!!!!!!!
"That woman saved me. Handle her with more care than a butterfly or a flower!" Yuta has grown a backbone but with the soul of a marshmallow. I love him 💘
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YUTA USING CURSED SPEECH. POWER SWAP!!
"How old are you two?" "Fifteen." "You're still just children. It's not too late for you to turn back. You don't know right from wrong, do you?" Mimiko and Nanako said: Excuse me, Ijichi, we would like to be tried as ADULTS, thank you very much
"How many years do you think it took the sorcerers in my country to weave this one rope." Why must this movie continuously feel like a subtle hate crime LMAO
Is that three sided weapon the one that Maki uses in S1? 👀
"Especially when we jujutsu sorcerers exist without belief." The revelation this is an non-theist society is actually very interesting, Geto says one (1) useful thing in this movie
Yuta is experiencing Baby's First Homocidal Rampage
Seeing that it is the exact same team in the Shinjuku battle really recontextualizes what it must've been like for the Kyoto School to be ambushed during the exchange event. They've really been through it as a school
Yuta thanking his curse fiancée for falling in love with him!!! 😭💗
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Not to break the sincerity of this moment, but I bet this went over really well with the monsterfucker community
"So that's how you want it, womanizer?" "That's rude. It's pure love." Insane dialogue to accompany this scene. 10/10. No notes
"I trusted you. Trusted that a man as principled as you wouldn't kill off young sorcerers without a reason." Bold take from Gojo about someone who has killed over a hundred unsuspecting people at very minimal provocation
Is the silent dialogue meant to be Gojo telling Geto he loves him? I cannot think of what else this would imply:
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Also I guess this explains why no one's like "Well, it's obviously Geto's fault!" for all the curse problems. They think he's dead!
"You're the descendant of Sugawara Michizane! That makes us super distant relatives!" So are all jujutsu sorcerers indirectly or directly the descendant of other sorcerers? It seems that way
"This past six years, I've been happier than I ever was when I was alive!" said Rika, as if that were not a weird thing to say about the time she spent committing acts of extreme violence as widely-feared apparition
Does Maki see Rika if she's not wearing her glasses? How does she experience this moment? She can definitely see the floating peaceful orbs
"You found it for me, sensei?" "No, not me. My best friend. The only one I ever had." With greatest affection. This is a symptom of Dumb Bitch Disease. WHY DO U SAY THESE THINGS TO PEOPLE THAT HAVE ACTIVELY BEEN ATTACKED BY HIM, GOJO
UHHHHHHH what brings Yuta to have lunch with Miguel!!! Who attacked them all a year ago!! What a threatening way to the end the movie
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I made this blog, because I got banned from reddit for telling a terf to drink drain cleaner. I was only suspended for 3 days, but then they made it indefinite for some reason and didn't even tell me why. Reddit was the only place where I could be myself and express myself. I was already contemplating killing myself, but this made me seriously consider it. I don't want to do this anymore. I chatted with so many people there, I can't even tell them what happened. They just think I ghosted them. I'm such a piece of shit. I hate myself so much. I can't even really fault the admins, because it was against the policy, but I didn't violate it in any other way. I don't understand why they made it indefinite. They didn't even tell me why. I tried to appeal, but they said no and sent me another message telling me nothing except "you won't get unbanned idiot, also here's another message telling you a second time you're permanently suspended, just to rub it in". I did this to myself. I ruin everything. My future, my friendships, everything. Now I'm in my bed crying instead of doing something to fix it. I need therapy. I can't get it though. It's gonna take way too long. On Reddit I made posts like this when I got a panic attack or when I felt really sad. I'm going to do these here now. I don't want to bother anyone with them though, so I'll just not tag it. I want to kill myself so bad. I just don't want to make others sad. My piece of shit mom would 100% use my suicide against my dad and blame him for it. I don't want that. I mean my dad also isn't the best, but he's at least trying. Sometimes. He always screams at me for minor things like leaving the lights on when I leave a room or forgetting things. I have ADHD. I can't fucking help it. He always threatens me with throwing me out. He's also the reason I'm not a full on femboy. I don't really have fem clothes, because he wouldn't allow it. I just walk around in jogging pants, an oversized hoodie, a cute cat facemask (which my dad doesn't know of) and cute fingerless paw gloves. It's the best I can do, without raising suspicion. I just wanna wear thigh highs and a cute skirt with my hoodie, but no. I have to "lIkE mAnLy tHiNgS bEcAuSe yOu wErE bOrN A mAn" why am I like this. I'm such a disappointment to everyone who puts even a slither of hope into me. Nothing I do is ever enough. I put so much effort into something and I get told "BUT YOU DIDN'T DO THIS OTHER THING TOO" I'm trying my best ok. "NO YOURE NOT DOING YOUR BEST THIS IS NOTHING" I'm worthless. What's even the point of staying alive anymore? If we had as horrifyingly easy access to guns as Americans I'd be dead already. I might've actually been a school shooter, considering how much I was bullied. I still remember wanting to do horrible shit to these people. I still want to for some of them. Why am I like this? I don't like my thoughts. They're horrible. I get a lot of intrusive thoughts. I don't like them. I sometimes just want to rip out my brain and smash it against a wall with full force. When I walk to school in the morning I sometimes have to stop myself from jumping infront of a car. The main reason I won't do it, besides people being sad, is that it would be so much shit for the poor driver. I mean so much paperwork. And then the trauma of killing a person, even on accident. I don't want to do that to somebody. That sounds like too much collateral just to kill myself. I'm not worth that. I'm not really worth anything. I'm just trying to do my best. It's just never enough. Everyone thinks that I'm like this on purpose. I'm not, I'm just not good enough.
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spiritofwhitefire · 2 years
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I saw you talking about how you really feel like you relate to Jinx and I just wanted to ask, how do you see yourself as similar to her? What specifically do you relate to?
So I've put a lot of thought into this Ask and truthfully I think the more salient answer to this is not how we are similar, but how we are different.
 I have been very lucky to have the support system that I have. My father may not be perfect (far fucking from it) but what I will say is that there are a lot of parents who when faced with the kind of mental and physical issues I was having in High School, would have simply washed their hands with me and he didn’t, he stayed and he supported me in every way he knew how, even when I got kicked out of school multiple times, so that is something I very much will never forget.
More importantly though, I have a group of very close friends who have seen me at my worst and never left and never stopped loving me and they really are family to me, like Sophie is basically my sister, I don’t know what I did to get so lucky with her.
So now back to Jinx. I think one very important mistake people usually make in their analyses of her is to fall into the fallacy that Jinx and Powder are two different people. They aren’t, and the show does a great job of making it clear from the beginning that they aren’t. Powder is a very timid and emotionally unstable little girl who has a deep need for love and acceptance and who is not surrounded by very many people who she can rely on. Vander does his best but at no point do we get the sense that he is someone who Powder is particularly close with. Mylo and Claggor get a lot flack from the fandom and it is undeserved but Claggor barely interacts with Powder and Mylo bullies her. The only one she really has is Vi.
It was that one person, that one person who loved her and supported her and believed in her that really allowed Powder to hold it together and then at the age of what 10? She experiences an extreme trauma that leaves her more isolated than before.
And look, personally I think it is clear that Silco loved Jinx and that she loved him too, he was her father, but that doesn’t make him a good father and that doesn’t make him the support she needed. Love is easy, love is essentially something totally out of our control but what we choose to do with that love and how we show it, that takes effort. It takes effort to actually care for someone, and Silco was really not equipped to be a capable parent, especially not a capable parent to a little girl with horrible trauma and mental illness. 
Of course we know from Vi’s perspective that she still loves Jinx but once again, unfortunately that is not enough. Because she doesn’t accept her, she doesn’t understand her and I am not at all criticizing Vi, Vi is like 22, which is very young and has spent ten years in fucking jail, learning to understand and accept your sister becoming someone so different and so deeply violent is a lot lol. But still by the end of episode 9, with Silco dead, Jinx is really more isolated than ever. She truly has no one to lean on, nothing to counteract her grief, I see her bombing of the council as a primal scream of rage and loss and loneliness. I think even if she had known that they were going to grant independence to Zaun she would have done the same thing. What does she care about that now that her father is dead?
See because here is the problem with people looking to fictional characters as representative of themselves exactly because that is impossible. In fiction, the characters serve as themselves but also as a storytelling tool (duh) they have to move the plot, and prop up the theme and serve the metaphor and if that means that the character becomes unrealistic or unfairly flagellated well tough shit, because that is what is necessary to make a good STORY! 
So while Jinx on the one hand is a horribly traumatized and mentally ill young woman, in service of the story, she is also a metaphor for the way that Piltover’s dominance over the Undercity molds its citizens into monsters. Piltover is essentially a parasitic city. Which is strange because the way topsiders see it, it is Zaun that is parasitic. Piltover’s existence is predicated on denying Zaun any form of that progress they insist on upholding, they kill Zaunites constantly, they poison them with their factories and their industries and they essentially keep them enslaved in the mines and in those factories, constantly living in poverty and most of the time also denied access to their academic institutions (It strikes me that Viktor and Sky were massive exceptions). This is why the people of the Undercity go to the lengths they do, entrusting themselves to the Chem barons, to gangs, to drug dealers. To really anything that will give them a lick of that power that they are denied. Piltover is convinced that the people of Zaun are monsters, but if they are, it is because they were forced to be. And all of this is personified by Jinx who is a genius and an artist and clearly a very loving person but who has been so twisted by loss and trauma that she has become something incredibly destructive. 
I was very destructive when I was younger too though more self destructive than anything (which Jinx clearly also is), and when I was a kid I was put in therapy, I was given medication, all those supports that exist in our world for people who struggle. I don’t think Zaun or Pitlover even has mental health support. But even in our world there are plenty of people who are denied proper support and the fact that I am an essentially middle class white woman definitely makes my situation a lot easier. There are so many factors wherein if there was even a slight difference, I really could have ended up as a much more destructive and unstable individual. So really I would say that the only difference between me and Jinx would be our support systems. She is totally alone, I’m lucky enough not to be
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Kurt Glee Rewatch: Preggers
Omg this ep! One of my favs this season (bc all my favs are Kurt eps lol)
Let’s jump right in
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Starting so strong. We get his playlist (would love to see him dance to any of those songs lol). Also, love how he has Brittany with him. Like obvs, Heather would be in the dance, but it means that Kurt is just casually friends with her already. Tbh, in background even s1, there is a lot of comingling of og 6 and the cheerios? Seems like Rachel is the only one they really have a problem with??
Anyway, the costume. So they wanted him in the leotard and heels and bless Colfer for arguing bc this is so much more Kurt. He doesn’t just ‘wear girl clothes’. He does an interesting blend of masc/fem and this works so much better.
And obvs Brittany not a real character yet bc she’s quick-thinking with the kicker line, and not said in usual Brittany-tone
The arrival of Burt!! Before he’s Father of the Year he is ‘wtf are you wearing’ lol. And I love this interaction bc Burt is not mad at his son. I mean, he’s mad about the noise, but he’s not gonna dislike his son for the way he is. Burt is awkward, and uncomfortable, tho. 
I also think he’s at the point where he can’t deny who Kurt is so he’s kinda just... waiting for him to come out? So he’s needling a bit, asking about a girlfriend, like that’ll coax it out. But I do love that Burt doesn’t outright confront and allows Kurt to come out on his own time.
(sry personal) but my mum confronted me about it and I did not get to come out when I wanted to and that still frustrates me bc I had already planned when/how I was going to and... anyway
Burt is still in the struggling phase here but, he’s trying. And I love how awkward this scene is, with them in the costumes and Burt talking about his football days and his injury and. Mike O’Malley and Chris Colfer, their acting is top notch.
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First off, need more kurt in sunglasses lol. 
But omg the way Finn’s immediately like ‘I already have a date to prom’ like duude. 
And the rushed ‘I’m not gay’ like, it just hurts my heart. He still denies it bc he’s not ready... Yay to Finn for helping out, at least?
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Aw, first sight of Finn and Kurt being bros! (tho lowkey, after the wedding we did not get enough bro-moments)
Also, as mentioned in fashion, I love all of Kurt’s workout outfits so much. They’re always so wacky and extra but they look comfy so... you do you, Kurt.
I do appreciate how, both here with Finn and even later with Blaine, Kurt doesn’t let his crush totally get in the way? Like he doesn’t blindly follow Finn, he stands up for himself like ‘I’m doing it my way’. He may be twitterpated, but he’s still stubborn.
“Hi, I’m Kurt Hummel and I’ll be auditioning for the role of kicker” I just... I feel like Kurt could so easily try to blend in, fly under the radar, but he adamantly refuses. Amazing how he can be so insecure and so confident (tho I feel the confidence is against bullies, whereas the insecurities come with people close to him, like with his dad or Blaine)
And then the his tryout, knocks it out of the park. Love the shot of the shocked team, love that Kurt is awesome at it bc hey, he works hard. Also, why do have the team look like they’re well in their 30s omg
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Gonna say it: We did not get enough of Kurt quoting Art of War. We get random glimpses into his more scholarly side, seems he does well in school, speaks French, etc? Prob part of his goal to make it out of Lima, but I would’ve loved to see more. 
Also, I appreciate him reading that prob bc he views high school as war. He’s def very calculating about dealing with people....
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When Kurt casually interrupted Will bc he’s like ‘I can teach better’. I also love the ‘sneak attack’ and ‘comb through the hair’ etc bc when we learned dances in theatre, and cast mentioned behind the scenes, one way to teach dances is with random lines like ‘stir the pot’ etc. I wonder if some of those were how Heather taught it BTS.
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Every rewatch, I forget how smol Kurt was. Also, him here so happy and excited... The Kurt and Burt relationship is easily the best written on the show.
Also, I’m always surprised to see Cheerios at football games bc they always seem like just... their own team. Sue has nothing to do with football.
But what a football game! Zero reality, but I love the dance so much. You can’t tell me the team weren’t totally loving it. The crowd dancing along, even the opponents trying. Iconic
You’d think Kurt would be bullied somewhat less after winning them the damn game but. Alright then.
And I love Burt’s line of ‘he’s so little’ bc foremost in his mind is just wanting Kurt to be okay. Yes, he’s proud of the football, but he doesn’t want his son to get hurt! Ugh and when they win and Burt is so happy and cheering and my heart cannot take it!
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Someday I will watch this scene and not tear up but... oh well.
I mean, hands down, iconic scene. Ryan Murphy said he based it on how he wishes his coming out went and I do like this more positive experience, compared to all the angst out there at the time. The acting, incredible, and I do love how mixed it was.
Like, Burt says he’s not in love with the idea, it’s clear he’s not super happy about it, but he can’t change it and he immediately makes it clear that he doesn’t love Kurt any less. And it just sets up all the growth that’s to come and I cannot wait.
I honestly like it better than if it were all bad or super positive. Makes Burt feel like a real person, someone flawed who has to relearn how to think, but he’s still a good person who wants to do right by his son.
Kurt was technically in closet at school and I wonder if this was really what he was waiting for. Like, he doesn’t really care what they think, but he needed to come out to his dad. Bc after this, he’s basically out to everyone (except for regress during Laryngitis).
And that’s Kurt in this ep. I love it so much. He winds up quitting in Mash-Up but I do wish we got to see more football!Kurt. At least there’s still Cheerio!Kurt
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I'm glad you think so, but I believe majority of the people think otherwise. Just so you know, I'm an ICSE student, I still haven't given my Semester 2 boards yet. I plan to take up Humanities in Class 11, and people are astonished that my parents are allowing me to take a 'stream of failures'. They even tried to dissuade my parents. In my previous school, teachers gave priority to the students who were the best at Science, and a minority of students like me were always ignored. None of my teachers ever gave any attention to how much I scored in the subjects involving Humanities(English Language, English Literature, History, Geography, Bengali) but they were always so disappointed on seeing my Science(Maths, Physics, Chemistry, Biology) marks. When I was in Class 7, I began to fail, despite studying hard. I repeated my Class 8 in a different school, where I was constantly mentally bullied. My parents are literally wasting so much money on me, but I'm not giving anything to them in return. I've always been proud of how well I write, and since I'm a fanfiction writer in Tumblr, I've received so much praise from my Internet friends(mostly foreigners). But in real life, no one gave a fuck to what I wrote. It's 'useless' after all.
I apologize in advance, I'm most probably bothering you with all this, I just don't have much IRL friends who'll understand me. They're already in Class 11, they might not want to associate themselves with me. Also, I generally don't send Asks anonymously, I just don't want to be, let's say, 'confronted', for the lack of a better word.
-The same Bengali mutual as before
okay, listen, this is okay, it's fine, you're not bothering me and you or anybody else won't be bothering me by sending asks (unless it's hate anons) and you won't be confronted, you're a friend, and of course you can choose to remain anonymous, but seeing that my blog may seem unsafe to people, specifically my mutuals feels so sad. also if anybody says anything rude against anybody here, on my blog, they have me to answer to, because it's my space. y'all are always free to send me asks or message me directly, i'm always there for y'all <333
now to the point of your situation, i can't believe this is happening still now??? humanities subjects are so very important!!! art subjects (like fine arts, music, dance, literature stuff, etc. etc.) are so important!!! these are what's humanity is about!!! we create because we love to, it's not necessary, but we create because it's wholesome and brings happiness and that's so fucking important. ignore whatever those horrible people are trying to tell you. they aren't going to live your life. so don't let them influence your decisions!!
and about the not being good at science subjects, it's okay, it's totally fine, y'all know – people like me, who're apparently considered the high and mighty by people like your previous teachers and others, we don't fucking know anything about what y'all are so good at!!! y'all know what we know, at least in general, but we don't know almost anything about your subjects. and the things that you study are always used in society, it's so so important!!! forget what other people are trying to tell you. follow your heart. take those subjects which you want to study. i chose science by myself, nobody told me to choose science or anything, i chose it because i love science (it's hard now, but i still love it) and maths and that's all i study now, so it's okay. remember that, despite what everybody else tells you to choose or makes you choose, if you choose what you like, you'll be good at it, and even if you're bad at it, you can always tell yourself you chose it because you like it. reminding yourself that you like something is a very good way to tell yourself it'll be okay. because it actually becomes okay in the end.
also you'll be back in normal school, so your last two years of school won't be as bad as it was for the last three batches. we missed so much in school and online school didn't actually teach us anything much. it was terrible horrible. but you'll be back and it'll be okay. it's gonna be hard, but you'll make it!!
and please text me if you're comfortable with it okay??? or send me asks off anon if you want to?? it's okay, this blog is a safe place for all good people. you're always welcome here.
and i know it may seem rude for me to say this, but if possible, please try to shift to CBSE in eleventh-twelfth grade. it's much better than ICSE, my cousin brother is in ICSE and i know exactly where ICSE sucks when CBSE doesn't. CBSE sucks too, but in a weirdly different way.
also send me your fanfics, please!!! if i'm in the same fandoms, i would definitely like to read it!! if it's an original work, i'd read it no matter what, maybe not right away, because i don't have so much time, but i'll definitely try to read it!!
love you so much anon moot!!!! *hugs you*
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xaracosmia · 8 months
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ꕥ — WELCOME TO NEFE COSMIA, MUU KUSUNOKI. 🌓
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ꕥ  — OOC INFORMATION;
name / alias: mary age: 20+ pronouns: he/she ooc contact: memelt_snail @ twitter other characters in xc: tiphereth
ꕥ  — IC INFORMATION;
name: muu kusunoki age: 16 pronouns: she / he series: milgram canon point: at the second trial, up to date content warnings: bullying, murder, suicidal ideation, suicide baiting.
personality: pain, pain, go away — mantra, repeat :  until my heart breaks. ( it still hurts. )
an immature mirror-image in the shape of a young girl, wearing a theatre-goer's mask that she deems appropriate for the current situation — simple-minded, someone who craves love and attention no matter the cost. easy to scare to obedience … to easy to validate to overconfidence, a scale too delicate to tip over to one edge or another, an extreme waiting for it's turn.
infant queen bee — blunt, honest, naive. fed so much ideological honey that she burst into the creature she is now. a girl who was spoiled ever since the day she was born who grew up into an entitled person who knows nothing more beyond getting what she wants. an unfortunate worldview coddled by her peers and family.
and here :  a note of importance. muu can't stand— hates pain.
any pain : emotional, physical. she'll bury herself deep in denial, she'll do anything as long as it stops and everything goes back to her perception of normal, as shattered as it may be. push down the agony, lest you feel it ever again. bury it deep, until you forget about how much it hurt that day. control, control, release — desperately safe, another's ego is her shield.
the true core hidden behind mille-layers of false cream. the loved will meet no harm and instead be showered in love : what's the point in being genuine, then? even if this chrysalis means tossing
people away or giving in to impulse … what comes above all is herself. ——— 'all i have to do is gain your favour, right? i'm sorry, i said i was sorry.' repeat, recite : it's not my fault. perhaps, one day, you'll believe.
something your muse struggles with: impulsive and emotional, to the point of extremes. ( + whiny )
your muse’s greatest strength: obedient, listens to what she's told — even if there's a complaint, here and there. she's also generous … in her own way? most likely. 
history / background:
papa is kind, mama generous.  i want to be like them, one day.
a silver spoon on her tongue isn't a fair replacement for the warmth of a cradle. muu may have it all but one : the presence of those that she needed most an empty canvas through her youth. warmth was a foreign idea, only words half-meant and half-said.
gifts and allowance see her doorstep more than her parents ever did. it's not like they didn't love her, it's just that there was no time.
——— so, tell me :  why?
school was full of scary people  —  words that tasted like the bitter cold medicine she swallowed one humid summer night. foreigner, cry the stares of her classmates. prideful, vain, stupid-looking.
to her, companionship was considered a world so unreal. it is a strange, foreign place that she never viewed as something material, but high-school was fast to prove that it is. her classmates — they hover over her like drunk bees on ripened fruit :  you use me, i use you. isn't it great - a benefactory relationship?
this wasn't always the case. once, there was rei — a girl who sat next to her in class, a girl who saw her as she is and not for the gifts and money and unusual features. … was she genuine? those days were warm, like the morning sun — nostalgic, quiet paradise where it was only rei and muu tailing at her like a lost, pathetic puppy. that was the only thing she was sure of. then, the swarm comes. the girls that would stare at rei with disdain in their eyes approach her with honeyed smiles. the temptation of sickly-sweet royal jelly offered up begs for her to take it ; a fleeting bite. then, she's falling.
——— but, maybe…
in hushed tones, they whisper to her of what friendship truly is :  give, then we'll give back to you. companionship like this is friendship. it's not exploitation if anyone benefits, don't you agree? ' what rei and i did was nothing, then? ' they insist so. if they say so, it must be right.
rei sees her laughing with them and a flash of hurt and worry is in her eyes. her— rei's expression is far from placid as she approaches her and talks to her again : a warning, she says. muu dismissed her with a scoff. she's just jealous of her new friends. is that it? that's it. she hates her, she hates her being happy. fine, she'll forget about her and everything, then.
——— hey, tell me.
one day, the world as she knew it changed. her friends that would be by her side are now against her. why? what did she do? she did nothing wrong — she has never done something wrong, she's never laid a hand on anyone else, all she did was speak and give gifts and look pretty. and yet, she apologises. they keep pushing her down, even as she begs for them to step. it's lonely. no more warmth.
the honey has dried up, and the half-born queen is starving. she sees rei and approaches her with an apology-- ——— even if… 
' please rethink this, please forgive me — i'm sorry, i said i am! ' ' why are you looking away — i thought we were… friends? we're friends. ' ' you should accept that i'm sorry — then, i'll accept that you are, too. why? ' the way rei casts her gaze towards her was so cold. there was no regret on her features, only deafening silence. is this how it feels, to be a living corpse? …at least it will be over, soon.
lately, she always considered herself to be one foot in the grave. then, the world she knew as changed became shattered, the very moment rei ripped her arm away from her shaking hands. her cries of help and pity fell on deafened ears — ' hey, rei… look. please, don't let go… ' she begged for her to stop, as she brought out the box cutter from her pocket. her words felt like bile on her throat. sunset's fading light downcast. ' do you really not care for me? fine, i'll— you know what i want to do, right? why are you going away? fine, i'll stab myself. i'll stab myself right now… i mean it, you did this. '
( the way you look at me. it's so cold, now. … i can't take it, please— look at me. look at me! )
her body, her instincts — at that very moment, they were nothing more but a desperate mechanism. she saw nothing but red, as she lunged towards rei with a desperate scream. an already fragile hold on her emotions made more apparent as she lashes out — that very same boxcutter that she used to threaten herself with was now plunged into the other's torso.
when she came to, she was breathing heavily, clutching her weapon now drenched in blood. desperation and rage were now brushed over : replaced by pure regret and agony. she would say that she's sorry, but perhaps she was not? …rei was the one that hurt her first. that's it. it's simply … revenge. a fitting punishment for a girl who always acted like the heroine.
i'll decorate your corpse with flowers and egotism. was this her favourite — white lillies?
in the coming days, rumors start to circulate around the school : ' ah, i've heard that kusunoki killed someone. that poverty-stricken girl. ' ' … oh? that's horrifying, actually. it's good that we stayed away. ' ' i knew that she was volatile from the very start! '
when a monarch starts to become reprehensible, what is left to do other than to get rid of her?
she wakes up in a plane so frightening, sterile and cold surrounded by others like her: murderers. who wouldn't be frightened in a situation like this? yet, she was forgiven.
then whispers began to start. it wasn't your fault, you poor thing. was it painful? ( … that's right. it's not my fault. it was never my fault in the first place, i'm faultless. )
lies layered on like her favourite dessert. a sweet cream to protect her fragile heart already at the risk of breaking, elevated to a mask of non-concern. her misery will eat her alive, if she didn't.
sometimes, i still see her in my dreams… i still see rei. i would never forget her name, you know. there's the way she stares at me. standing in the distance. drenched in stagnant water. watching. maybe she's angry. she haunts me — bound to me and my fate, herself and her image.
powers / abilities: n/a
inherent abilities: n/a
items / weapons:
an orange boxcutter that almost appears yellow in the sunlight. a reminder of torment and guilt. her already present discomfort with sharp objects made stronger by the memory.
starting ability: n/a
starting item: the boxcutter. 😀 she'll probably throw it in a ditch right away, but you know.
extra: you made it. happy birthday!
everything is subjective and prone to change. as is the nature of milgram. t3 & more could change what i have written down to the foundation — guesswork is fun. nothing is "complete" until you make it so.
summertime in the north hemisphere is ending soon, it's slightly nostalgic, from the smell of fresh grass and the warm light of sunset … it's a feeling i wanted to portray with this application. a large amount of what i wrote is personal theory crafted by personal feeling. i'm sorry. ( pien ↑↑ )
" isn't friendship supposed to be all about letting them do what they want? it's only beneficial for each other, isn't it? " tread with caution with this one.
16 year olds are scary creatures. i'm scared, i'm scared.
discord id: lovemedont
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apepsicherry · 9 months
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another rant
another stupid fucking brainless rant. i dont know why i have so low self confidence i literally hate every aspect of myself. the way i look, act, talk, walk, hell i even hate the way i fucking exist. whenever i get close to someone i just think to myself "how long until they see the real me and get tired of me". its hard to pinpoint when i started to trust people less and not allow to let them get close to me. maybe it was shen i was bullied relentlessly in middle school by some dipshit for no reason. maybe it was my last relationship where i got cheated on by my partner with the whole friend group. or maybe it was when i started to link my academic sucess to my personal mental wellbeing. who knows. maybe its all those things. sometimes i just wish i weren't so negative of myself. the only times when i dont feel this way is whenever i get so high i cant fucking think or get incredibly fucking drunk. i rarely smoke or drink but when i do i try to do as much as i can to forget myself. i love the way i no longer have to worry what ppl think of me or how the world works. i just feel like im in the moment and i can enjoy it. i know i sound stupid af but its tru. its just a way for me to cope with my shitty self. its the only way for me to just be able to relax n shi. its the opposite thing with music. with music im forced to dive deep within myself and examine myself. sometimes i find something good but most of the time i just feel shittier than how i began. bringing up shitty memories and making myself miserable. hell idk why i try so bad to beat myself down. i have a good gf but i still feel like no one can love me. its just something deep within me that doesnt let me enjoy what i have. its just like pit that consumes and demands more. i become selfish and start doing more shittier things to get what i want and in the end i end up sabotaging my relationships with those around me. i always somehow find a way to make those situations better but its always by doing something shittier. i dont know whens the last time ive ever been "myself" with someone. its getting lonely. i wish i could just have someone that wouldnt judge me but also would. its weird. idk… end of this shitty brainless rant.
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toiivoton · 2 years
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I grow up locked in a room most of time w my sister, she was and has been the person i have interacted the most my entire life, my life was that room and her so she was my entire world. my mom never acknowledged my existence unless it was to casually insult me or scream to me to insane levels when she was high (she did talked w my sister for some reason) and my father who only visited me to torment me and hit me, i would literally run trying to escape for then be catched and hit again n again and my mother would watch and laugh
My mother loved making jokes abt it and my sis get mad when i didnt stand up for myself against him, but i was so small and my dad was so big i dont know how i could have i just felt so humiliated and pathetic and weak, just a total worthless failure, i think when i see violent parents in movies or media they tend to be violent against all the family but i was the only one he ever hit, i feel there was something specific with me that it was so defectuous i made everyone upset and angry and sad, i wish i had never be born so everyone would have been happier people
At some point my sis went to live to panama w our grandman and i was put back in the same room with now no human interaction since my sis was gone this time, this made me miss her n feel she was my one and only savior back then.
until today im not sure for how long was i in that room bc there wasnt sun light it was so horrible i lost sense of time it could have been a week or 6 months i have no idea. I developed insomnia and also forgot how my voice sounded like and missed the sensation you get on your throat when you make a sound, so i would talk to myself at times, otherwise i felt i would end up forgetting how to talk. i had a tv and 3 cds and i cant stop thinking about them bc im so grateful for it, i could watch them on replay forever and have something to do and have company. i feel after this any possibility of social skills were now completely taken from me or thats what i love believeing bc i love blaming on
everything for my defects
Later when i was 11 my sis came back n started getting bad and really sad but it got so bad she started threatening about killing herself. If i didnt do everything she wanted I once tried writting how i was feeling and that i was feeling bad n she found my post hand she was so digusted, she told me no one does that and that it was cringe n that i should delete it, my best friend also got annoyed at me later for being scared all the time and writting so much nonsense, i have had so little amount of friends on my life and almost if not all have leave me for this.
if i looked sad she would get mad if i didnt do everthing she say it will be so bad much worse for me, shed got so upset and would later have freak outs and talk about killing herself
if i dont do what she says she will kill herself and it will be my fault, i had to clean everything for her do all her cleaning part, wash her clothes cook n bring her food, give her all my belongings agree to everything she says, later on life when i started working i must give her all my payments, when she screams or freaks out at me and by no means im allowed to say anything back if i do it will be the end it will be much worse.. on school i cried literally everyday in front of everyone bc i just wanted to die and i didnt wanted to go back home but at the same time i was losing it bc if i wasnt there w her she would kill herself and it woul be my fault, but then bc of crying sm and being so weird i got always got bullied on school
It was like this for the next 4 years then it became less horrible and now isnt so bad shes better and im glad now but i cant help but wonder if its also bc became better at not replying back and behaving, still she’s genuinely so good to me and we can laugh togheter but im so terrified of her
But i i dont know how to be away if i say i want to live alone she will be so sad and ill be questioned, and even so im so psychically n mentally ill. I often go blind, i was in bed sick for 2 years and my medication is already so expensive, i dont feel i can live by myself i dont know how to live without her im an absolutely lost cause a
nd i feel its too late for me and i cant be fixed n i feel even if everything would be promised to me to be better n never hurt again im not sure if i want to even continue bc i no longer have energy left i just want to die
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vanillawaiver · 3 years
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every time that the dream smp mcyt scene intersects with the alt right pipeline it gives me fuckin whiplash
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