#i forced myself to not watch the among us video last night

[youaremysunshine-court]

My mood right now is cramming for maths with the rusty quill youtube channel playing in the background and I think this is how I want to spend all my mornings from now on

#rusty quill #i forced myself to not watch the among us video last night #so i can do it now #oh the serotonin!!!!!!

[storiesforallfandoms]

proposition ~ corpse husband

word count: 1880

request?: no

description: in which her friend invites her to play video games with them and she decides to playfully proposition the stranger with the deep voice

pairing: corpse x female!

warnings: swearing

masterlist

You had been bored out of your skull until you got a message from Sean asking you to play Among Us with some of his friends. You had met some of his closest friends, like Felix and Mark, of course, but he made sure to warn you that there would be some new people in this group. While that made you a little anxious, you knew that playing a video game would help you to warm up to the new people.

Sean sent you a link to the Discord call and you joined almost immediately. You weren’t sure if anyone else was in the call, so you didn’t speak for a moment while you set up the game. It wasn’t until an unnaturally low voice spoke that you realized you weren’t alone.

“Hello?”

You jumped at the voice, shocked that just that one word made your heart race a million miles a minute.

“H-Hello?” you responded.

“Who’s this?” the voice asked.

“Who’s this?” You immediately cringed at the lame response.

The voice chuckled, another sound that made your heart race. “I asked you first.”

“I’m (Y/N),” you finally responded. “I’m friends with Sean.”

“Oh yeah, he’s mentioned you a few times. I’m Corpse, I’m friends with Dave and Felix.”

“Corpse?” you question. “Is that your real name?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

You couldn’t help but smile at this. You were shocked at how fast you were warming up to Corpse, but there was just something about him that was just so warm and welcoming.

The two of you talked for some time until Sean popped into the chat. “Geez, (Y/N), you fucking nerd. You’re so early.”

“I had no other plans tonight!” you argued.

Corpse’s low chuckle alerted Sean that he was in the chat as well. “Ah, (Y/N) I see you’ve met deep daddy.”

Your face burned with blush, although you weren’t sure why. “Wait, deep daddy? Please tell me you guys don’t actually call in that.”

“Jason does,” came the familiar voice of Felix as he joined the chat. “Can’t blame him, Corpse’s voice even makes me question my marriage with Marzia.”

The more people that joined, the more jokes that were made about Corpse’s voice and how upset they were that Corpse was playing because he was such a good imposter. You sat in silence, chuckling every now and then but never really speaking. Not like anyone was giving you the chance with how much they were yelling over one another.

You started missing talking to Corpse one on one, but you knew the game had to happen eventually. You just hoped that it would go better than you were expecting.

The first few games started with you as a crewmate. You were killed first in the first game by Sean, who immediately self reported and got voted out because of it. The second game, you made it three rounds before catching Toast kill someone and got him out. The third game, you were in the other room when Corpse killed someone and he blamed you, leading to you getting voted off.

By the time the fourth round came around, you were teamed up with Corpse as the imposter.

“Easy dub,” you commented to yourself. “He’s too good. He’s gotten imposter like three times in a row and no one has noticed.”

You followed Corpse for a while, pretending to do tasks with him. You walked into a room that had only Felix and Rae when your kill button was ready to go. At the same time, you and Corpse killed them both and raced out of the room.  You were about to kill Sean when Toast found Felix and Rae’s bodies.

“I don’t want to sound sus by pointing fingers,” he began, “but Corpse and (Y/N), you haven’t left one another’s sides all game. What the fuck?”

“I’m watching her back,” Corpse responded before you could say anything. “(Y/N) is so small and innocent, if she died on my watch I would never forgive myself.”

You couldn’t help but smile to yourself at this.

“You blamed her for your killing last game!” Leslie argued.

“That was last game! I’m not imposter now!” Corpse responded.

“If Corpse was imposter I fully believe he would’ve killed me by now,” you added. “He has no reason to keep me alive.”

“Unless he likes you,” Jason singsonged, causing the group to all talk at once about you and Corpse.

“Get back to the game!” you called over them, even though the thought of Corpse potentially liking you made you feel butterflies in your stomach.

No one was ejected (Skipped).

You tried not to think about what everyone had been saying, but it was hard not to. You didn’t know what Corpse looked like, he made you aware that no one knew except for a select few YouTube friends, but you found yourself drawn to him. Sure, his voice was hot, but in the short time you two had to talk together you found that his personality was equally as attractive. 

The distraction caused you to forget what you were doing and almost kill right in front of Toast. You held your breath, hoping you hadn’t accidentally clicked on the mouse and absolutely decapitated Sean right in front of someone. When nothing happened, you quickly ran out of the room and as far away from them as possible.

Your phone chimed. You took your eyes off the screen for a moment to see that it was a private message on Discord from none other than Corpse himself.

“What was that about? 😂”

“I was distracted and almost killed Sean in front of Toast. Had to make a speedy exit.”

“What were you distracted by? 😉"

Lucky for you, another meeting was called before you could respond.

“Okay, for real (Y/N),” came Toast’s voice. “What the fuck is going on? You were just stood in admin with me and Sean, then suddenly you raced out, and now you’re just standing in the middle of the cafeteria not moving at all.”

“She’s distracted,” came Corpse’s voice before you could respond.

You felt your face heating up again. “I was distracted, by my dog. He’s currently at my feet with his toy. He keeps looking at me with his big eyes, it’s hard to concentrate.”

“Awe, send me a picture of the little guy! I miss him a lot!” Sean said.

No one was ejected (Skipped).

You took a deep breath and concentrated on the game. You decided to stick with Corpse again, only breaking off to make it look like you were fixing the sabotages that you were setting. You and Corpse managed to kill three other bodies, leaving you with one more to kill before winning. And you knew exactly who you wanted it to be.

You sent Corpse a quick message before going to look for Sean.

“Do not kill anyone, leave this to me”

Seconds later you got a response. “Aye aye captain.”

You entered electrical as Sean was doing a task. You walked up behind him and hit the kill button without hesitation. You watched your character cut his body in half before the victory screen came up for you and Corpse.

“I fucking knew it!” Toast exclaimed. “You guys were too sus!”

“What can I say, we make a good team, right (Y/N)?”

You smiled to yourself as you responded, “Yeah, we do.”

Everyone started talking the one time again, joking around with each other. You started feeling like you were fading into the background again, which normally you’d be okay with, but you were starting to feel more comfortable with the group. You wanted to feel more comfortable with Sean’s friends, especially with Corpse.

Suddenly, an idea popped into your head. You smirked to yourself as you declared into your mic, “Guys! Guys, I have something I wanna say! Everyone, shush!”

The talking soon died down as everyone listened to you intently. Your heart was hammering in your chest, but you knew there was no backing out of it now.

“I have a proposition for Corpse,” you said, which was met by cheers and exclamations of excitement. When everyone silent down again, you took a deep breath and forced the words out before you chickened out. “Corpse, are you single?”

You heard his low chuckle through the voices talking excitedly. “I am single, yes.”

“Good to know.”

There was a silence as everyone waited to see if you’d follow up on your comment. When you didn’t, Sean exclaimed, “What was the proposition?!”

“Wouldn’t you guys like to know,” you said with a knowing smirk to yourself.

The game went on for another few hours before you finally had to call it a night. You said goodbye to everyone and exited the game. While shutting down your computer and getting ready for bed, your phone chimed. Another message from Discord.

“It was really nice meeting you tonight. We make a pretty good imposter team, you should play with us more often.”

You couldn’t help but smile at Corpse’s message. You felt like a giddy teenage girl as you got into bed, clutching your phone tightly in your hands.

“It was really fun, I’m glad Sean invited me. I’ll definitely come play more in the future if you guys want me!”

You saw the three dots pop up, showing that Corpse was typing. They went away a moment, then popped up again, then away again. This happened a few more times before another message came in.

“About that proposition...”

“What about it? 😉”

“Was just wondering how serious you were about it, or if there was an actual proposition at all.”

You looked at the message for a long time. Of course, at the time you didn’t think it was serious. It was just a fun joke at the expense of your friends. But now that he was asking...what did you say?

You thought about your message for a long time before typing, “I was as serious as you want me to be.”

There was an extended pause on Corpse’s end before he responded, “Well, I know we just met, but I’m pretty serious about it. I’d like to get to know you more. You seem like a really nice girl.”

“You seem like a nice guy.”

“Can I Skype you tomorrow?”

The question shocked you considering what he had told you earlier. “You’re willing to show me your face?”

“Only a select few know what I look like, I trust you to be one of those few.”

Your heart fluttered yet again as you typed your response. “Well then, I’d love to Skype tomorrow. I’ll send you my name so you can add me.”

You laid back in bed after adding Corpse to Skype, feeling excited for the next day. You could hardly sleep now thinking about what you’d get to do in almost 12 hours time. It felt like too far away, you wanted to call him right then and there.

Just as you were starting to drift to sleep, your phone chimed again. You checked it one last time before bed to see a final message from Corpse.

“Goodnight, see you tomorrow”

“Goodnight Corpse, see you tomorrow”

#corpse husband #corpse #corpse husband imagine #corpse imagine #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #imagine #one shot #youtube

[skzsauce01]

Angel Sent From Up Above

Anniversary Request Special

Synopsis: Hyunjin, a new guardian angel, has fallen in love with a human. His human’s girlfriend, to be precise. Angel AU, background college AU and skater AU.

Warning: violence

Word Count: 8.3k

Pairing: fem!reader x guardian angel!Hyunjin; fem!reader x human!Jeongin

“Is she healed now?” Hyunjin asks the moment Jisung flies in. He knows Jisung is probably exhausted from keeping maladies away from you, but he needs the answer now. “Is her flu gone?”

“Yeah.” Jisung’s wings are tinged gray with ruin, but he keeps them on display for all the other guardian angels to see as he walks past them. They are proof that he has been doing his duty. They’ll return to white soon enough anyway. “Your human’s her boyfriend. Why didn’t you try to check through him? He visited a few times even though she told him not to.” Jisung sighs and shakes his head. “What an idiot. He’s going to get sick himself.”

“He hasn't visited recently, so I haven’t been able to check through him. The Archangel’s forbade me going to Earth unless it was something serious. I think he’s worried I'm spending too much time with humans.”

Jisung shakes his head. “I think he’s worried that he’s going to have to Seungmin you.”

“I'm not going to get expelled.”

Jisung shrugs, and ruin falls from his wings like ash. “You better watch out. You checked up on her too much last time she got sick, so he's probably trying to make sure you won't abandon your human. He's banished people for less. Case in point: Seungmin.”

“She's important to Jeongin, so she's important to me."

Jisung sighs. “Sometimes I think you’re more protective of her than I am.”

He says it as a joke, but Hyunjin knows it’s the truth. He cares deeply about you, maybe even more than his own human, but he will never say that last part aloud.

Hyunjin used to believe that becoming a guardian angel was the best thing that ever happened to him. All of his afterlife, he had wanted to be promoted, to be granted the pure white wings and the crown of sun rays. Regular angels had wings and halos but never white wings and golden halos; silver and silver was the “regular” combination.

Watching over a human was considered the highest honor an angel could receive, and everyone clamored to gain the attention of the Archangel. Hyunjin was not immune. He worked as a messenger for years, delivering even the most inane notes between the higher ups. He endured the attacks, verbal and sometimes physical, and kept his mouth shut. Eventually, the Archangel recognized his efforts, and before dawn broke on Earth, Hyunjin was named the new guardian angel of a baby boy, Yang Jeongin.

“You will protect him. You will guide him,” the Archangel said. “He is your responsibility now and yours alone. Do you understand?”

From Heaven, Hyunjin could only look at the wet, wrinkled face of his human. His human. “I understand.”

Then the Archangel flew off, and Hyunjin flew to Earth for the first time to meet the baby. No one noticed him as he phased through the hospital walls nor as his giant wings folded back. Only Jeongin would be able to see his guardian angel.

“Hello there, little one,” he whispered to the swaddled baby. The boy was fast asleep, and Hyunjin gently stroked his face. “I just wanted to introduce myself. I’m Hyunjin, your official guardian angel. I’ll always be nearby now, and I’ll always make sure you’re safe. Sometimes you won’t be able to see me, but I’ll always be watching over you. I promise.”

Jeongin stirred awake and stared back at Hyunjin. Two sets of eyes blinked at each other, one full of curiosity and one full of tenderness.

“Go back to sleep,” Hyunjin said. He drew his hand over the baby’s face, and Jeongin’s eyes fluttered shut. “Sweet dreams, little one.”

Guardian angels talked about their humans like parents, bragging about how gifted they were and sharing complaints about what unbelievable thing they did the other day. Hyunjin mostly did the latter. Jeongin was an adventurous child, which was just a nice way of saying that he liked to play with danger. Hyunjin often had to fly in to save him or to redirect the threat somewhere else. The other angels joked that Hyunjin stayed on Earth more than Heaven sometimes. He didn’t mind though. Even with his human’s shortcomings, Hyunjin adored him. He watched from above as Jeongin said his first words, attended his first day of kindergarten, and got into his first fight.

“He’s a troublemaker,” Minho observed.

Minho was a guardian angel as well, but he tended to lurk on the outer edges of the realm as the other angels avoided him for a reason Hyunjin hadn’t figured out yet. Hyunjin liked him well enough and treated him like a mentor, sometimes a friend.

“Hey, you’re not one to talk. Your human started a black market of candy at school.”

Minho shrugged. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing.”

Jeongin didn’t end up growing up into a troublemaker, to Hyunjin’s relief. The impulsive streak was still there, but he utilized his judgement more now. There were no car crashes or cases of alcohol poisoning, and when Jeongin asked out girls, it was with daisy bouquets and a suggestion to get lunch. Hyunjin slowly stopped making routine trips to Earth and chose to view Jeongin from the comfort of Heaven. It was there that Hyunjin noticed you.

“I think she’s upset with him,” Jisung abruptly says. “She cried after a video call with him, so if your human starts acting strangely, that’s why.”

The news makes Hyunjin stop mid-step, and he turns to his friend. “She cried? What? What did she cry about?”

“I don’t know. I was too busy trying to lower her temperature. Can you believe that she almost hit—”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“I just got back! There is no ‘earlier!’ Besides, we aren't allowed to interfere in anything that isn't dangerous. Heartbreak, if this is even what this is, is temporary."

“Humans do drastic things for love.” The movies has seen while watching Jeongin have told him that much.

“Which we will attend to when it happens. You’re a new guardian; you’ll understand them better over time. Not everything is life-threatening, fragile as they are.”

Hyunjin turns away from Jisung and glances down at Earth. The clouds part, and all of the brick buildings of the university rush towards his eyes as he focuses on Jeongin. He’s asleep at his desk, his lamp still burning bright above him. How long has it been since the video call? Or perhaps he’s just tired from the events of his day. But he looks so small and vulnerable in his chair. Jeongin isn’t fragile — the amount of situations he has gotten out of covered in bruises and blood is astronomical — but he is mortal.

“But she loves him,” Hyunjin softly says, “and he loves her.”

“Exactly. Humans fight over small things all the time, and this is one of those times.” Jisung places a hand on Hyunjin’s shoulder to placate him. “Trust me.”

“... I trust you.”

“Good. I need to rest, but we can catch up and see what stupid things they do after.”

The moment Jisung flies off to the rest area, Hyunjin goes against the Archangel’s orders and flies to your apartment. When he peers inside your bedroom window, he spots you sitting in bed in the dark, your phone screen illuminating your face. He phases inside and sits at your desk chair, resting his forearms at the top rail. You can’t see him, but he wishes that you could.

You mindlessly scroll through messages, sniffling every few seconds. Whether it’s from your crying or your illness, he doesn’t know. He can’t hand you a tissue or tell you comforting things or hug you like Jeongin can. When you wrap your blanket tighter around your shoulders, he wraps his wings around himself as well.

Suddenly you throw your phone beside you and let out a heavy sigh. “It can’t get any worse than this,” you say to yourself.

Hyunjin waits for you to say more, but you only stare at the ceiling with blank eyes. He can’t compel you to talk; only Jisung can, but he’s not here. So instead, Hyunjin knocks over the glass of water on your bed when you shift into a more comfortable position.

“Of course it can,” you sigh again and blot as much water as you can with your tissues. You pull another one out of the box with more force than necessary and furiously dab your sheets. “First I get sick, then I miss a homework deadline that I can’t make up because my professor lost his heart thirty years ago along with his hair, then my boyfriend breaks up with me for like no reason, apparently I have an exam tomorrow, and now I’ve spilled water all over my bed, so I can’t even sleep. Thank you, universe. I really needed this.”

He immediately regrets his decision.

“Worst freaking week of my life,” you mumble as you throw away the wet tissues. Hyunjin almost reaches out for your arm when you pass by, but he retracts it just in time.

When you climb back into bed, you draw your blanket up to your chin and begin murmuring numbers. They come out calm and even at first, but they become more tense as time passes. Hyunjin half-listens as he scans the contents of your desk. A laptop, a shopping bag, an open notebook with doodles on the margins, an uncapped black pen, and a pack of gum. He presses his forefinger to the point of the pen, drawing a tiny heart by touch. Then he stamps the heart among all your misshapen stars and imaginary flowers. You might just think it’s an ink smear, but he hopes you look at it and smile.  

You hit three hundred and forty-seven before you begin to sound drowsy. Hyunjin stands at the foot of your bed, watching as you finally drift off in the middle of three hundred and ninety-three. Serenity settles across your features.

“I’m sorry for what I did earlier. Good night and sweet dreams,” he whispers. He pats the corner of your bed before flying off into the night.

He needs to see Jeongin.

It was hard not to notice you when you were on a collision course with Jeongin. You were going too fast, and Hyunjin’s wings couldn’t carry him to Earth in milliseconds. With horror, he watched as you sharply turned the building corner on your skateboard and just barely jumped off in time when you saw Jeongin about to make the same turn.

“You okay?” Jeongin asked as he hurried to stop your runaway board.

“I should be asking you that!” you exclaimed as you followed him. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have veered that close to the wall. You’re not hurt or anything, right?”

“I’m fine, don’t worry.”

“Good. I can’t risk getting sued again.” Unsure of how to respond, Jeongin nudged back your board to you. You neatly stopped it mid-roll with your foot. “Thanks, by the way. See you around.”

“Yeah, see you.”

You kicked off, but before you left the area, you turned around and gave him a wave. Jeongin waved back, albeit more shyly than you. After a moment’s hesitation, he yelled out, “Be careful!”

“I’ll try!”

Jeongin laughed and turned the corner, looking at the brick wall with more wistfulness than most people usually did. Before he entered the building, he peeked around the next corner, as if he expected you to come speeding by again. You didn’t.

After that, he noticed you more often, usually swerving around strangers as you cut through campus. Whenever he had the opportunity to say hello, he did so with a smile, and you returned it with a waggle of your fingers before disappearing into the crowd. Once, you nearly crashed into a railing. You laughed it off and gave him another wave along with a funny face. Hyunjin felt something inside him melt. Jeongin must have too since he headed to his next class with the most lovestruck expression Hyunjin had ever seen on him.

It was then that Jeongin began forming a plan.

Two weeks after the first meeting, Jeongin waited in the quad for you to show up. Just as he hoped, you came walking down the steps fifteen minutes later, skateboard tucked underneath your arm. It was supposed to seem like a coincidence, but Hyunjin had followed Jeongin as he scoured nearby skate spots, asking around about you. Yesterday, he had learned where you liked to practice tricks. He got up from his bench, hands hidden behind his back, and approached you with the same moves and confidence he had rehearsed in the bathroom mirror.

“Hey! How have you been?” he called up from the very bottom.

Meanwhile, Hyunjin groaned. Jisung, who Hyunjin had tracked down two days prior to this, also did so.

“You said he was a charmer,” Jisung complained. “Look at him. He can’t even charm dogs with a treat.”

“For your sake, I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. Just wait though. It’s going to get better.”

Jisung huffed. “It better. She deserves the best.”

Fortunately, you took it all in stride and waved hello at Jeongin. When you were finally beside him, you answered, “I’ve been good, thanks. You’re not here to sue me, right?”

“No! I was actually wondering if you could teach me how to skateboard. If you have time, that is.”

“Really? But I almost killed you that one time. I mean, I’d be happy to, but it’s kind of weird after what happened.”

“I’d rather skateboard than walk, and you seem pretty good at it.”

You shifted your weight to one foot, and Hyunjin chuckled when he saw Jeongin’s eyes wander to your jutted-out hip. Jisung made a noise of disapproval.

“Okay, what is this really about?”

“Skateboarding,” Jeongin said. Then he took a step closer and held out a bundle of daisies towards you. “And lunch, if you want.”

You broke out into a grin. “I am a little hungry right now. L/N Y/N, skateboarding extraordinaire and ramen enthusiast, at your service.”

“Yang Jeongin, also a ramen enthusiast. Nice to officially meet you.”

Jeongin is still sleeping at his desk when Hyunjin arrives. He shifts and exhales when the wind from Hyunjin’s wings create a small breeze but does not wake.

“How could you break up with her?” Hyunjin says. “She’s amazing and wonderful, and you decide that you don't want to be with her? Sometimes I wonder what’s going on in your head.”

Silence.

“If I were human, I would have never done that, but…”

Jeongin shifts again, burying himself deeper into the crumpled hoodie he’s using as a pillow. The table squeaks, and a mechanical pencil rolls off the desk. Hyunjin quietly places the pencil back to its initial place and shuts off the lamp.

“Take care of yourself, and make good choices, okay? I can’t do that for you.”

Instead of flying back to Heaven, he perches on the roof of the building across from Jeongin’s. Jeongin finally wakes up and notices that his light is off. He glances at it confusedly for a few seconds, wondering if he misremembered leaving it on. In the end, he decides it’s not worth the effort and falls into his bed. He didn’t even spare you a thought, a crime in Hyunjin’s eyes.

Then he realizes he may have a bigger problem on his hands.

Jisung.

Jisung is going to be very upset when he finds out about this.

Over the weekend, you brought Jeongin to the quad to learn the basics.

“Put both feet on the board now,” you said as you walked alongside a skateboarding Jeongin. He was borrowing yours to practice, so he treated it with more reverence than a well-used board would need. Even though he was pushing with his back foot, he was going at a snail’s pace.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’m going to lose my balance and fall.”

Perhaps it wasn’t reverence after all.

You shook your head. “No, you won’t. You’re not going that fast anyway. You can just step off if you really feel like you are. Give it a shot.”

To his credit, Jeongin lifted his foot a few centimeters off the ground before planting it back. “I’m going to lose control.”

While you did your best to persuade Jeongin to give it another try, Jisung gave Hyunjin a dissatisfied look. “I remember you telling me he was a daredevil. What is happening?”

He didn’t exactly know either. “He’s in front of his crush; give him a break.”

“These two better not end up dating. She deserves so much better than him.”

Hyunjin gave him a dirty look, Jisung gave him a “What? It’s true” type of a shrug.

You step in front of the board. “How about this?” you said. “You stand on the board with both feet, and I’ll pull you along so you can get used to the feeling and be less of a scaredy cat.”

“Okay.”

You took both of his hands and slowly guided him backwards. At the same time, you instructed him to put more weight on one side to change directions. Jeongin was surprisingly stable, and Hyunjin watched proudly as his human suggested that you increase your speed a little.

“See? It’s not bad?” you said. “Keeping balance isn’t that hard, right?”

“Yeah. Also,” he grinned, his meek demeanor completely gone, “we’re holding hands now.”

Your eyes widened as you glanced down at your joined hands, and you let out a delighted gasp. “You sneaky little—” Much to Jeongin’s alarm, you let go and smirked. “If you go past the bench without constantly pushing, I’ll let you hold my hand when you walk me home.”

“Kind of presumptuous of you to assume that I would offer to walk you home,” he teased, resting one foot on the floor. “Or is that what you want me to do?”

“You asked me to lunch with flowers. You were going to.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Then he kicked off, skating past the bench with ease. Still going, he looked over his shoulder and shouted, “Do you want to grab doughnuts before you head home?”

“Watch the lamp!” you yelled as you ran towards him. “Jeongin, stop looking at me and turn around!”

The collision with the lamppost was unavoidable, so Hyunjin simply watched as Jeongin took a flying leap off your board and took a tumble on the concrete. While you fumbled for band aids — Jeongin’s knee was scraped and bloody — Jeongin patted his pockets to check that his phone had not fallen out.

“So doughnuts?” he sheepishly asked.

“Sure. I’ll buy.” You finally found one hidden in the bottom of your backpack along with an alcohol wipe. “Guess you get to hold my hand after all.”

“How are you so prepared?” he asked, nodding to the contents you had unceremoniously dumped out whilst rummaging. “You have tweezers and gauze?”

“My mom made me carry a first-aid kit with me when she found out that I skate to class. It comes in handy.” You ripped open the package. “This might hurt.”

“You can kiss it to feel better.”

You laughed and pressed the alcohol wipe to his knee. “You’re such a flirt, I love it. Does it hurt?”

“Yeah, hurts a lot.”

You opted to kiss the band aid instead, causing Jeongin to pout and Jisung to sigh in relief. When you stuck it onto his skin, Jeongin made a big production of being relieved from pain, which made you laugh and shove him.

“No! She’s in love with him,” Jisung groaned. His wings drooped, and Hyunjin swore his halo actually dimmed when you kept your hands in Jeongin’s after you pulled him up. “Well, Hyunjin, looks like you and I are going to be best friends.”

Hyunjin personally saw no issue with that. Like Jeongin, he had been charmed by your antics and your easygoing nature. Protecting his human’s friends, family, or lovers wasn’t part of Hyunjin’s duty, but he felt compelled to watch over you too.

Because if he were human, he would have fallen in love with you too.

In the midst of his lamenting, Jisung flies down and sits beside him on the roof. His wings are still slightly gray, and Hyunjin strangely begins to feel self-conscious of his pure white ones.

“Didn’t the Archangel forbid you from doing frivolous things?” Jisung says in lieu of a greeting. “I saw you at her apartment earlier.”

“I just wanted to check up on her. Not that I thought you lied,” he hastily adds. “I wanted to see for myself. She’s a little… distraught.”

“She got into a fight with her boyfriend. It’s normal.” When Hyunjin doesn’t reply or even make a sound, he grows concerned. “Is it something else? She’s getting sued, isn’t she? I knew it was going to happen someday. When I find that smug richie-rich, I’m going to—”

“Jeongin broke up with her.”

“What.”

Hyunjin repeats his sentence, trying to block the view of Jeongin’s bedroom with his body. Jisung looks like he’s ready to rain judgement onto him, and while Hyunjin is rather good at his job, he’s not sure if he can hold back an enraged guardian angel. Jisung takes several deep breaths before regaining the little composure he can muster.

“I knew I hated him for a reason. I knew he didn’t deserve her,” he spits out, though the venom in his voice wavers. “Why would he even break up with her? She loved him so much.”

Hyunjin shrugs. “That’s what I want to find out.”

“When you find out, let me know. I’m going to see her now.”

Hyunjin stays on the roof until sunrise. Jeongin sleeps without any trouble, and when he wakes up, he looks fresh-faced, no guilt hanging over his head. Hyunjin feels something inside him cracking apart.

You truly don’t deserve this.

“Do you think they’re going to crash and burn?” Jisung asked as he studied you and Jeongin walking through the park, practically glued to each other’s sides. “I think they’re moving too fast. It’s only been a month.”

Hyunjin really didn’t care about that. As long as you and Jeongin were happy, he was happy. “A month is a pretty long time for them. Mortal lives are short.”

“Exactly. They should be more selective about their life choices.”

Hyunjin only rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to you. You were pointing at the tiny carousel in the middle and tugging at Jeongin’s sleeve. You dragged him over and pushed a coin into the slot for the ride. The lights lit up and a carnival theme played while you struggled to wedge yourself between the saddle of an elephant and the roof of the carousel. Jeongin sat on the edge, beside the tiger, and chuckled at your flailing limbs.

Hyunjin suppressed his own laugh. You were something special. Just last week, the two of you had made it official and started dating. You had done it in the sweetest possible way.

You had taken him to a local skateboarding shop to help him pick out his first board. Once he had chosen one — the ‘one’ being a light blue deck patterned with multicolored doughnuts — the staff at the shop sent him to the back to try it out. Meanwhile, you made the age-old excuse of needing to use the restroom when you were actually getting the flowers you had hidden in the back.

Hyunjin had turned into a pile of fluff when you gave Jeongin the daisy bouquet and asked if he wanted to officially be your boyfriend. You were so earnest. Jeongin playfully pretended to think it over, a feat Hyunjin knew he wouldn’t have been able to do if he were in his position. There were no fireworks or confetti when Jeongin finally said yes, but the staff did clap and cheer. Jisung looked on with contempt. Hyunjin looked on with envy.

“You know,” Jisung abruptly said, snapping Hyunjin back to the present, “when her last boyfriend broke up with her, she had ice cream for dinner for a week.”

“Oh.”

“You see why I’m being wary of him now?”

Hyunjin did, but Jeongin was different. His previous relationships always ended well, and on one occasion, he remained friends with his ex. He sighed and decided that a change of topic was necessary so he wouldn’t have to potentially endure a tirade. “Did you hear about Minho’s human? The bank he worked at got robbed, and he got held at gunpoint.”

That caught the overprotective Jisung’s ear. “What? Is he okay?”

During Hyunjin’s recountment of Minho’s recountment, the carousel ride ended. You squeezed out of your spot, hitting your head on the roof, and Jeongin pulled you in for a forehead kiss. The world grew brighter when you smiled, he realized.

Hyunjin shadows Jeongin around all day, hoping to learn the reason for the breakup. Unfortunately, Jeongin doesn’t say anything. He does show some regret though, as he scrolls through past messages and old pictures. When he heads to classes, he opts to walk instead of skateboarding like usual and avoids the quad whenever possible.

In the evening, while Jeongin is chewing on his salad like a cow to cud, Hyunjin pays you a visit. He finds in the freezer section of the grocery store with three pints of ice cream in your basket. From the looks of it, you’re about to add another three to your haul. Peanut butter pretzel sounds equal parts delicious and confusing.

Hyunjin studies your expression, frowning at the same time you do. Your eyes are ringed with red, your jaw tight, and your eyebrows seem permanently furrowed. When he follows you back home, he half expects you to start crying on the way, but you hold fast and manage to open a pint of the salted caramel flavor before the tears finally come. There’s no wailing, just sniffling and the sound of you furiously wiping at your face with the sleeve of your hoodie. In the midst of it all, you find the strength to reorganize the freezer to make space for the other pints. Something about that makes Hyunjin’s heart drop.

By the time your roommate discovers you in the kitchen, the entire refrigerator has been reorganized and the ice cream finished. You sit in a dark room, your finger hovering above the ‘SEND’ button of a message to Jeongin. Hyunjin can see it if he flies above you: “Can you please just tell me why? You keep saying you did something wrong, but I don’t even know what it is. Please let me decide if it’s worth breaking up over.”

“Rough day?” she gently asks as she flips on the switch.

“Yeah.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Maybe tomorrow. I just wanna process it right now,” you hollowly say. You grab your skateboard — the same black, paint-splattered one you had last year — and unlock the front door. “I’m going out for a ride, but I’ll be back in an hour or so.”

“Stay safe.”

After you leave, Jisung phases through the kitchen walls and hisses at Hyunjin, “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with Jeongin?”

He nearly forgot about him. Eating dinner isn’t a dangerous task anyway though. Besides, if Jeongin does get physically harmed somehow, Hyunjin will feel an echo of the pain. Hyunjin glances at the door, and Jisung shakes his head.

“I’ll take care of her. Go back to Jeongin, and make sure he’s okay. You can’t keep leaving him all the time.”

“Fine, I’ll go.”

“Good.”

Hyunjin reluctantly goes back to Jeongin, who is still eating his salad. His resolve from last night is clearly gone as evidenced by his melancholy expression as he scrolls through even more photos. The one of you in mid-air makes him clutch his phone.

“Let me get one of you when you’re really high up,” Jeongin suggested. He was comfortable gliding around on a skateboard now, but nowhere comfortable enough to try any tricks. Nevertheless, that didn’t stop you from trying to get him to learn. The “pop shove it” was your favorite, solely for the amount of height you could get.

“Okay.”

As you did over and over again for your enthusiastic boyfriend who was unfortunately not that great of a photographer, Hyunjin observed from a rooftop behind Jeongin. Sometimes you looked like you were flying. He could imagine wings protruding from your back, and if the sun hit you just right, there appeared to be a halo as well.

“I got one!” Jeongin exclaimed as he held up his device to you. “Look.”

Hyunjin couldn’t see for himself, but your mouth dropped into an ‘o’ once you took a first glance. A flustered smile made its way onto your face, and everything about you turned soft.

“This looks amazing,” you said. You sidled up to him and rested your cheek against his shoulder, turning your head towards him. “I love you.”

The words hung in the air for a few seconds as both Hyunjin and Jeongin tried to process them. This was the first time you had ever said them, and it came seemingly out of nowhere. Hyunjin recovered first.

“Say ‘I love you’ back, you moron,” Hyunjin whispered, like Jeongin would be able to hear him from this distance. “‘I love you too.’”

“I wanted to say it first,” Jeongin finally said. “Ugh, I had it all planned out too. We were supposed to get doughnuts after this, and I was going to buy you one of those heart-shaped ones.”

You kissed him on the cheek and intertwined your fingers with his. “We can still do that.”

At the doughnut shop, he said the words second, and you kissed him again, leaving a crystal of glaze on the corner of his mouth. Hyunjin licked his lips as if you had left it on him instead.

“Did you find out?” Jisung asks when Hyunjin leaves Jeongin to check up on you. You’re skating around the city, making sharp swerves and weaving in-between lampposts. Jisung is trailing behind you in the sky, but he slows when he sees Hyunjin approaching.

“No, but—”

“Then go back to him. Hyunjin,” Jisung sighs, “I know you care about her, but she’s not your human. Jeongin’s your responsibility.”

“I know but—”

“Go back. And I’m telling you this not as your friend but as your senior. You’re a guardian angel, and you need to take your responsibilities seriously. I’ll get the Archangel involved if I have to. Do you want to get Seungminned?”

The threat of the Archangel strangely doesn’t scare him anymore, however. In fact, the Archangel being involved may solve many of his current issues.

“I’ll find you again when I find out,” Hyunjin slowly says.

Jisung nods in approval before racing after you again. Hyunjin heads to Heaven, not to keep an eye over his human but to become human.

Ten months into Jeongin’s relationship with you, Hyunjin asked Minho, “Is it possible to give up your divinity?”

Minho gave Hyunjin a curious look. “Is being a guardian angel that taxing for you? You haven’t even experienced a full lifespan yet. I know, twenty year-olds are annoying, but it’s not nearly as bad as forty year-olds and their mid-life crisis.”

“I’m just curious. Or, as a last resort,” he added, hoping that Minho would stop being suspicious if he joked about it. “My human’s been making some dumb choices.”

A lie, but Minho fell for it.

“I told you he was going to be a troublemaker!” he cackled. He sympathetically patted Hyunjin’s back. “If I’m being honest, I thought about it a few times. I always get assigned to the troublemakers. Probably because the higher-ups hate me for not tolerating their BS. They’re always playing favorites. Anyway, the easiest way is to get expelled by the Archangel. It’s happened a few times before.”

“Can’t you just ask him?”

Minho smirked. “You don’t think other angels have tried that? He only expels the ones who don’t want to be. It’s supposed to be a punishment.”

“What’s the hard way then?”

“Same thing minus the Archangel getting involved: your wings getting cut off,” he matter-of-factly answered. “The halo will break once your wings are detached. It’s only been done once, by the way.”

Hyunjin absentmindedly rubbed the area where the bones of his wings met with his shoulder blades. All he needed were two clean cuts across his practically impenetrable back.

“How do you do that?”

“With the Archangel’s sword. Another angel has to cut it though; you can’t do it yourself.”

The Archangel would likely banish him to Hell for even asking about his weapon. If Hyunjin ever did manage to steal the sword away, Jisung would never agree to it. He couldn’t just ask any angel to help him.

“How do you know about all this?” Hyunjin asked.

Minho hesitated, something he rarely did. He quickly recovered, hiding his sudden apprehension with his usual devil-may-care nonchalance. “I can’t give away all of my secrets.”

“We’re friends, aren’t we?”

Friends. The word hung in the air like the sun, and Hyunjin knew that Minho would tell him because underneath all of his bluster was loneliness. Because no one liked Minho, or if they did, they still avoided him anyway.

“Yeah, we are,” Minho answered, smiling for a second before a strange expression crossed over his face, pride mixed with a touch of sadness. “Do you really think the Archangel would have expelled one of his favorite guardian angels that easily?”

“Who are you talking about?”

“Seungmin. He asked me to cut his wings for him.”  

“I need you to cut my wings,” are Hyunjin’s first words to Minho after not speaking to him for days.

To his credit, Minho is only speechless for a few seconds. The dove in his hand pecks at him for more headpats before he recovers. “Well, do you have the sword?”

“No, but I think I can get it. When I do though, would you do it? You’re the only one I trust.”

Minho sighs and tosses the bird out of Heaven, grimacing a bit when he hears it squawk. When he faces Hyunjin, he smiles the same smile he did when he talked about Seungmin. “It’s always me, huh? I’ll do you one better. I’ll steal the sword for you. The Archangel’s been pissing me off anyway.”

For once, Hyunjin’s thoughts are not on you but his friend. He imagined that Minho would be willing, but perhaps he’s too willing. “Are you trying to get expelled as well? We can go together.”

“No, I like being immortal. I hate all of the BS I get put through sometimes, but the Archangel can’t kick me out. He swore an oath to me a long time ago before he got promoted, and it’s pretty much unbreakable. Besides, even Heaven needs a scapegoat.”

That explains why virtually no angels interact with Minho, Hyunjin being the exception. He has never heard of the Archangel being oathsworn, though it seems likely that the Archangel wants to keep that a secret.

“How are you going to get it?” Hyunjin asks. “How did Seungmin even get it? The Archangel always has it with him.”

“Seungmin was one of his favorites,” Minho reminds him. “He had easy access to him, and the Archangel trusted him enough to let him borrow it for ‘a study.’ Don’t worry about me though. Just wait for me on Earth. Somewhere where no one goes. I’ll find you, slice off your wings, and the Archangel won’t even know what happened to you.”

“That’s not possible. He always keeps it on him.”

Minho shrugs, a gleam in his eyes. “I’ve done it before. Why do you think I’m the scapegoat?”

Seungmin. For Minho and now Hyunjin, being Seungminned didn’t mean being expelled for being frivolous anymore; it meant leaving of your own accord.

“What happened to him?” Hyunjin asked. “Why didn’t the Archangel grant his divinity back? Someone should have spotted him on Earth.”

Minho’s wry grin was back. “You think the Archangel wanted everyone to find out the golden boy of Heaven no longer wanted to be an angel? Plenty of angels already saw him roaming Earth. It was easier to let everyone think that Seungmin was banished. So when they saw him on Earth, he was just a fallen angel, nothing important.” He nudged Hyunjin’s arm, and the solemn atmosphere vanished. “A troublemaking human isn’t all that bad. Like I said, the twenties are annoying, but they’re manageable. Is he one of those partying types?”

“He goes out sometimes,” Hyunjin carefully replied. Jeongin liked hanging out with his friends and you — mostly you, now that Hyunjin thought about it — but he wasn’t getting blackout drunk every night. At least, Hyunjin hoped he wasn’t. He usually watched over you if you were ever in the vicinity. “Speaking of which, I should check up on him.”

Minho said his goodbyes, and Hyunjin flew back to Earth once he saw that you weren’t with Jeongin. You were studying at your desk, rolling a pen between your fingers, reading through a document on your laptop. The desk light casted a warm glow on your face. You frowned, and your lower lip swelled outwards.

He wished he were human.

Just as Minho said, Hyunjin waits for him to arrive in a secluded part of the university campus. The building rooftop is devoid of anyone, and the area surrounding it is empty as well. The evening turns into night, then night into the early morning when the sky begins lightening. Still, Minho has not come.

He distantly wonders how Jeongin is faring and his promise to Jisung. When he’s human, he’ll ask Jeongin directly, maybe in disguise of a survey: “Why did you break up with your last partner?” Even to him, it sounds stupid. However, that’s not the real reason why he’s giving up his divinity, so it hardly matters to him. Jisung is resourceful; he’ll find out eventually.

Finally, when the sun peeks over the horizon, Minho descends from Heaven, a familiar silver sword in his hand. He lands beside Hyunjin, a triumphant smile on his face. But his usual humor has been replaced with solemnity.

“You’re sure about this?” he asks as he rests the blade on the top of Hyunjin’s wings.

He has never felt so sure of anything in his life. “Yes.”

“It’s going to hurt.”

“Then make it quick.”

Searing pain shoots through his body as the sword pierces through the thin skin and into the bone. The process is not as nearly as seamless as Hyunjin hoped it would be, and Minho breathes heavily as he pushes the blade down. Bones snap, feathers drift to the floor, and blood trickles down his back. The pain only grows greater near the end, but Hyunjin grits his teeth and keeps quiet. Dawn breaks when his wings finally fall to the floor, no longer white but splattered with red. Soon they fade into dust, and the remnants scatter into the wind. His golden halo shatters into sunlight. The world dulls as the last of his powers disappear, but everything feels much better than when he was an angel.

“Thank you,” he whispers to Minho, who he cannot even look at anymore. His eyes would be burned.

“You’re fallen, not quite mortal and not quite divine. You won’t be affected by all of an angel’s power.”

When Hyunjin cautiously glances at him, Minho waves the bloody sword at him. “See?”

“Yeah.” He wanted humanity, but this is good enough for him. He just needs you to be able to see him, hear him, touch him.

“I need to go back before Heaven becomes Hell, but find Seungmin if you can. He can help you figure things out. Last I heard, he’s living somewhere in the mountains.”

“Thank you,” he repeats. “Minho, I can’t even put it into words about how much this means to me. Thank you for everything you’ve done.”

Minho pats his shoulder before stripping off his clean shirt. “Clean yourself before you leave. No one wants to witness a walking crime scene this early in the morning.”

When he flies back to Heaven, the last thing Hyunjin sees are his wings, still pure white.

“Hey,” you said as you laced your fingers with Jeongin’s. He had just finished class, and you had waited for him outside the building. Hyunjin had sat on the other end of the bench, savoring the proximity. That was the closest he would ever get to you. “Are you busy tonight? The skate shop just announced — literally an hour ago, those jerks — that they were doing a midnight drop, and I kind of want a new deck.”

“Ugh, I’ve been meaning to buy new trucks, but I have to meet up with my group tonight. Send me pictures though.”

Disappointment only momentarily flooded through Hyunjin. If it was anything like the last two meetups, it would be at the library, and the library was a safe place. Jeongin would be fine there. Hyunjin would be free to shadow you as you went to the skate shop.

“I can get it for you,” you offered.

He shook his head. “It’s fine. Maybe I’ll just wait for a sale.”

“Don’t be surprised if I do get you new trucks,” you warned. You let go of his hand and held his arm. “I still owe you for last month’s dinner.”

Jeongin shook his head again, a smile making its way onto his face. “You don’t owe me anything but a kiss.”

“Flirt,” you laughed as you pressed your lips to his cheek. “Never change, Yang Jeongin.”

That night at the skate shop, Hyunjin hovered above you as you stood in line, chatting with others. There were no unscrupulous characters around, but he stayed with you, only going back to Jeongin when Jisung insisted. However, by then, Hyunjin had already seen you eyeing the shiny teal trucks through the window. Hyunjin knew nothing about skateboards even after all those months, but you seemed pleased by them.

“You’re only getting trucks for sure?” your brand new acquaintance asked. “This is, like, the biggest drop they’ve ever done.”

You shrugged. “I’m kind of on the fence about the decks I saw on the email. I don’t know. Maybe wheels too?”

Meanwhile, Jisung hissed, “Hyunjin, go before something happens. What if a fight breaks out?”

Hyunjin sincerely doubted that one would happen at the library. He lingered around, taking his time unfolding his wings and stretching them.

“Your boyfriend’s lucky,” your acquaintance sighed.

“Nah, I’m the lucky one.”

Daisies, that’s what he needs right now. Choosing the rooftop of a building was not a smart decision, but the access door is thankfully unlocked, and Hyunjin races down all of the emergency stairs. However, with no form of currency on him, Hyunjin heads to the quad, hoping that he can pull up some dandelions for you. You need to be supported, and bright yellow flowers are just the thing.

What he doesn’t expect though, is to find you doing pop shove its at your usual spot. It’s so early in the day; did you even go back to your apartment to sleep?

“Good morning,” he calls as he walks closer. He waves at you, and you can see him! You tentatively wave back and give him a halfhearted smile. “How are you today? You look beautiful.”

“Thanks, and I’m fine,” you politely reply as you take a step back away from him. “What about you?”

Hyunjin curses in his head and takes another step towards you. “I’m good. Really good, actually. I was wondering if you could teach me how to skateboard. I’m new here, and skateboarding seems like an efficient way to get around.”

You flinch at his words, and he desperately wants to take them back. How did Jeongin do it? Why do his statements come out so stiff? “You seem pretty good at it.”

“Are you not cold?” you blurt out. Hyunjin curses again as he realizes that he’s shirtless. His old one was stained, and Minho’s was as well as the result of his cleanup. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. “You know, I have to get going, but it was nice meeting you.”

“Hyunjin. My name’s Hyunjin.”

“Nice meeting you, Hyunjin.”

You grab your board and immediately head off to the direction of your apartment. Hyunjin is tempted to follow, but he stays where he is. A bad first impression isn’t the end of the world. The only thing holding him back is his lack of a shirt.

He wanders through the quad, scanning the grass for some flowers. Most of them are the white, fluffy dandelions, but he needs the bright yellow version. However, he takes the white ones anyway in case he can’t find any. The wind scatters the seeds, and he—  

“Hyunjin, I told you not to come back.”

Jisung.

Hyunjin turns around, dropping his bouquet onto the ground. To his horror, not only is Jisung present but also the Archangel. His sword is strapped to his side like usual, not a blood splatter tainting it. Minho did an excellent job of cleaning up the crime scene.

“Jisung, Archangel,” Hyunjin nervously greets. The Archangel frightens him now. “How can I help you?”

“Jisung, why did you bring me here?” the Archangel asks. “I have other things to attend to.”

“He’s abandoned his human too many times, and I don’t think he’s fit to be a guardian angel anymore.”

The Archangel grasps the hilt of his sword and studies Hyunjin, up and down, back and forth. He circles him, and Hyunjin can almost feel his mortality-divinity shining through his body. Jisung hasn’t noticed yet, but there is no doubt the Archangel hasn’t.

“Normally,” the Archangel begins, “the punishment for not fulfilling your duties as a guardian angel is being expelled from Heaven. But you have already fallen.”

“What?” comes Jisung’s shocked voice.

“It was a mistake,” Hyunjin tries. Minho’s words ring in his ear: He only expels the ones who don’t want to be. “I thought I wanted humanity, but I’ve realized that being a guardian angel is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Please. Grant me my divinity back. I will never abandon my human again. I will swear an oath if I have to.”

The Archangel smiles with no teeth, and a chill runs down Hyunjin’s spine. “I’m in a forgiving mood today, so I will do just as you ask. Your divinity will be granted back, but you will no longer be a guardian angel. I’m stripping you of those powers and those duties. You will be replaced immediately. It was my mistake for tasking you with such a large responsibility when you weren’t ready yet.”

With just a snap of the Archangel’s fingers, Hyunjin’s senses sharpen, and the world comes hurtling at him. Nothing is dull anymore, but everything feels so dark and wrong. You will never be able to see him, hear him, or talk to him again. And he will never be able to either. Power surges inside of him, and new wings burst through his shoulder blades, fanning out once they reappear. A silver halo hangs over his head. There is no physical pain into becoming immortal again, yet he wishes there was something. Everything he and Minho did was erased with ease.

Hyunjin swallows the lump in his throat. “Thank you,” he chokes out.

“You’re very welcome. Come along now. Only guardian angels are allowed to be on Earth.”

Hyunjin follows the Archangel back to Heaven while Jisung goes after you. The Archangel loudly deliberates on who he should be replaced with, and Hyunjin knows that his request was not granted with kindness. The Archangel informs that he will be a messenger again. Hyunjin barely hears him as he takes one last look at Earth. Jeongin is there. Jisung is there. You are there.

Hyunjin avoids Minho’s eyes as he flies inside the realm behind the Archangel and hides among the rest of the regular angels until he is called to send a message. The higher-ups recognize him, make snide remarks about his demotion, and make pitiful faces at him. He barely registers them. There is a hollowness in him, and no matter how many memories he recalls, it isn’t enough to fill the void.

A few weeks later, Jisung approaches him, but even he stays a healthy distance away. “Hyunjin.” The disdain is clear.

“Jisung.”

“You knew about the reason all along, didn’t you? You were there when it happened.”

“When what happened?”

Realization dawns upon Jisung, and he shakes his head in disgust. “I should have known. You weren’t with him that night because you left him like you always did! You could have done something. Make him fall off his chair or something. Make the girl lose her balance. Instead, both of our humans suffered because you weren’t there.”

“What happened?”

“A girl from his group project randomly kissed him, and he thought he had been leading her on and cheating on his own girlfriend, so he broke up with her because he thought that would be the right thing to do instead of just telling her what actually happened. They’re back together now because he finally got the nerve to give her closure. It took nearly a month. They were miserable for a month. All because of you.”

It stings. “They’re okay now, right?”

“They’re fine, no thanks to you.” Just when Hyunjin thinks he’s going to leave, he takes a step forward, lips curled into sneer. “You know, angels and humans aren’t allowed to be with each other. It’s been forbidden for millenia.”

“I know,” he whispers. “But I loved her, and I had to try.”

“She would have never chosen you anyway.”

He never had a chance, did he?

~ ad.gray

Yes, you did! I remembered it and wondered if you were going to come back! Hope you enjoyed this! <3

#stray kids #skz #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #stray kids angst #skz angst #hyunjin angst #stray kids imagines #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids scenarios #skz imagines #skz fanfic #skz scenarios #hyunjin imagines #hyunjin scenarios #hyunjin x reader #guardian angel au #anniversary special #20210816

[css1992]

Guilty Pleasure

[Porn AU]

Summary: Peter and Beck used to be a power couple in the porn industry, but after Beck dumps him, Peter is forced to start over. With no money, no family and nowhere to go, he doesn’t have much choice other than to keep doing porn, so he joins Just4Fans to get back on his feet and then one day he gets a very generous tip from someone under the username of YKWIM.

All the warnings listed on Part I apply. 

Read on AO3

Part I / Part II / Part III / Part IV / Part V /  Part VI /  Part VII /  Part VIII  / Part IX / Part X /  Part XI / Epilogue

-x-

Almost three months into his new life, Peter was finally able to establish a routine that worked for him. He woke up around nine in the morning, tried to get some sort of exercise done, usually yoga or a jog around the block, then he had breakfast by himself, because both Ned and MJ had class or work before he was even up. After that, he made sure to post something on Just4fans, so people could see it throughout the day, and answered private messages and comments from the night before. Lastly, he headed to his newly created Twitter account to promote the new content and to interact with people there as well – it was a great way to get new subscribers.

That usually took up most of his morning, then he went downstairs to Ned and MJ’s apartment for lunch. He usually ate with at least one of them, except for Mondays and Wednesdays, when neither was home, but even then he ate at their place since he didn’t own any kitchen appliances yet – it was on the priority list, but not that high up, he liked having an excuse to visit his friends every day.

Later, he headed back upstairs and, depending on the day, he would take new pictures and videos or edit the ones he took the day before. Finally, at night, he posted more content on his Just4fans and chatted with his subscribers until it was time for bed.

In the last week of April, on one of his morning jogs, he noticed that just a few blocks away from his building there was a charity called the Bright Future Foundation. He thought the name sounded familiar, but try as he may, he couldn’t remember where he had heard of them. It was only after running past it a few times that it clicked – Mr. Harrington, his science teacher, told Peter to look it up.

The Bright Future Foundation helped kids who aged out of foster care get their lives together. They offered support in the form of scholarships and grants, academic and personal mentoring, and help with internships and employment readiness skills. That was what their website said, as Peter vaguely remembered from his high school years, when he still planned on going to college.

He went inside one day, not really sure why, and when the front desk lady asked how she could help him he just stood there for a few minutes, silent and nervous. She asked if he wanted to learn about their programs, but he shook his head, sticking his hands in his pockets. The woman waited patiently, a motherly smile on her face, until Peter asked if they needed any help.

And that was how volunteering at BFF became a part of his new routine – every Thursday from nine to five, starting in the first week of May. Since it was just a few blocks away from his place, he could walk there instead of taking the subway.

He liked his new routine, it was tiring but it didn’t leave a lot of time for overthinking or ruminating on the past. He never felt lonely because Ned and MJ were always around and he actually made a few friends among his subscribers, which was nice.

For the first time in a while, Peter was feeling happy. And it wasn’t an elaborate, fragile sort of happiness, where things needed to be in perfect place for the feeling to be felt, no. It was the simplest kind of happiness: he had friends, a job, a place to crash and everything was fine. Nothing was perfect, but it was fine.

A few days after he sent Tony the lingerie pictures, he decided to send him the video. He was a little insecure about it, it was 13 minutes long after editing and Peter had really lost it for a minute there, one could clearly tell. He was gone for most of the video, a moaning mess, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes, begging for something – someone – that wasn’t even there. It either looked ridiculous or fucking hot depending on the person watching, and even though he was pretty sure Tony would not think it was ridiculous, he still worried just a little, but he sent it anyway. It was still early in the day when he did, some time around noon, and he didn’t expect him to answer any time soon, so went on with his day.

Tony messaged him around 2AM, as usual, but there was no text, just three videos in the chat. In the first one, it looked like he was wearing a suit, he could see the dress pants pulled down and the white shirt pulled up as Tony jacked off for thirty seconds before he came all over his hand. It looked like he was in a bathroom stall, sitting on a toilet, and Peter bit his lower lip, wondering if he was at work when the video was taken.

The second video was similar to the first, but it looked like he was in a garage or something like that – probably the workshop he always talked about –, Peter could see a black shirt bunched up around his waist and sweatpants around his thighs.

Last but not least there was a video of him completely naked, lying in bed, and the video was shot from Tony’s point of view, like he was holding his cell phone close to his face, looking down, instead of propping it up in front of him like he usually did.

They were all incredible and delicious and got Peter rock hard in a second. The boy got comfortable on the bed, lay on his back, took off his pajama bottoms and sighed when his cock sprung free, shivering a little when the chilly night air touched his heated skin. He planted his feet on the mattress and spread his legs, but didn’t do more than that yet.

“That good?” He messaged Tony, cheekily, and the older man started typing right away.

“This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me in my whole entire life and I’m 48, so yeah. That good.”

Hm, forty-eight. So Peter wasn’t wrong in his assumption. He bit his lower lip, a rush of excitement running through his veins. Tony was so much older, almost thirty years his senior. Peter supposed he must be really experienced. He wondered if he usually hooked up with younger men or if in real life he only dated women – it wouldn’t be a shock – but most of all, he wondered what he looked like. Maybe he dyed his hair, but if he didn’t, it was probably mostly gray and fuck Peter if he didn’t have a thing for that.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about it. You broke me. I was in the middle of a meeting when you sent that video, I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom to watch it. What have you done to me, witch?” Peter wanted to laugh, but it got stuck in the back of his throat with a moan when he slid a hand to his lower abdomen and his cock stood to attention.

“I don’t know about that, but your videos sure got me horny as fuck.” He rolled his hips a little, humping the air, and finally gave in to himself, holding his cock in one hand and the cellphone in the other.

“Is that so?” He could almost hear his voice through the phone – soft, but powerful. He always imagined Tony would sound like that if they ever talked face to face.

“Yes, daddy” And that would always be his default answer to anything he might ask with that voice. He closed his eyes for a second, quickening the pace of his strokes just a little, when his phone beeped again.

“Are you touching yourself right now?”

“Yes, daddy” Peter shivered, imagining Tony’s reaction to that revelation.

“Can I hear you, baby boy?”

He didn’t even hesitate, he started recording a voice message and moaned into the phone, thrusting his hips against his fist as he quietly begged for Tony’s cock, his fingers, his mouth, anything, he just wanted the man to be there taking care of him, making him cum, that was all he wanted, and he wanted it so badly.

He came in just a few seconds and hit send on the voice message before he could overthink it. As he lay there, breathless, staring at the ceiling and trying to gather his strength, he fantasized about Tony listening to it. He smiled to himself, like an idiot, then his cellphone beeped, bringing him back to reality.

“You’re gonna drive me mad, you know that? I’m actually going insane and it’s all your fault. Also, my dick is gonna fall off and that’s on you, too.” Peter had the presence of mind to laugh at the message, but it took him a few seconds to gather enough energy to write back to him.

“That’s a serious accusation, Tony, I’m gonna need all the evidence I can get, so every time you touch yourself thinking of me, make sure to send me proof, ok?”

“Oh, you don’t know what you just got yourself into.” Again, Peter could only laugh, because judging by the amount of videos Tony sent him that day, he really was in for a treat.

Days later, on Friday, Peter got up early to go for his usual jog around the block. He was a little tired from the day before, still adjusting to his new routine at BFF – it was his third week there and they were starting to realize that Peter was a quick learner and very eager to help, so they took advantage of that, which was fine with him, he was thrilled to be able to help somehow.

So after a quick, half-assed jog around the block, he went back home, showered and decided to take the rest of the pictures Tony asked for. The man was still going nuts over the video, he wouldn’t stop talking about it and every day there was a video of him finishing himself off in their chat and Peter could hear his own voice in the background, screaming Tony’s name.

It was both embarrassing as fuck and hot as hell, so the younger man also spent a lot of those last few days in the shower trying to cool down, but Tony was not making it easier.

As much fun as that was, he was curious to see how Tony would react to the new pictures. He realized that would be the first time the older man would see him with clothes on, which sounded ridiculous, but it was true. He didn’t have many pictures on Instagram, but most of them were selfies and there were just a few where it was possible to see maybe a hint of a shirt, but that was it.

So he took the outfit he and MJ picked out and winced, remembering how much it cost, but at least he picked out clothes he might wear some day – if he had a meeting with the queen of England, for example. He put on the light gray suit by Hugo Boss, with a pink shirt with big, white dots by Levi’s Vintage underneath, black dress shoes by Brunello Cucinelli and a Gucci watch he was able to find on sale for half the original price. The whole outfit was worth around five thousand dollars, and was definitely the most money he had ever spent on – well, anything.

He checked himself in the mirror and snorted a little, he sure looked like a spoiled brat, which was probably what Tony meant by “expensive and beautiful”, so that was fine. He styled his hair so it looked effortlessly tousled, but not too much, and set his camera to take the pictures by the living room window.

He took a few pictures on the windowsill, some other leaning against the glass with his hands in his pockets, a few others looking out the window. He posed on his armchair, too, which was the only piece of furniture he had in his living room at the moment and he wished he had a decent dining table so he could pose like he was on a date with the camera, but he supposed those would do.

Once he was satisfied with what he got, he took off the clothes, put them away and went downstairs to have lunch with Ned and MJ. For the first time since he moved in with them, they both had Friday afternoon off, so they spent it together, eating junk food, watching bad TV series and playing really old tabletop games Ned had brought with him when he moved from his parents’ house.  

In between a game of Monopoly and Scrabble, Peter pulled his phone out to check his messages, and was surprised to find one from Tony, sent just a few minutes earlier. He checked the time and noticed he must still be at work, so he opened it, assuming it couldn’t be anything too sexual.

“Hey, are you feeling better today? Just checking in.”

Peter frowned for a second, but a quick look at their earlier messages reminded him that he was feeling a little under the weather the day before and he’d told Tony that before he went to bed.

“Hi, Tony! I’m all better now, thanks for asking. I guess it was just allergies or something.”

He didn’t expect Tony to answer right away, but as soon as his message was sent, he started typing.  

“That’s good to hear, but you need to be a little more careful with your health, kitten. Just yesterday you said you had an apple for lunch. At 4PM.”

“You’re one to talk.” Peter snorted. They always berated each other for poor eating habits. Peter was a 20 year-old bachelor living by himself and sharing meals with his equally young and dumb friends, so pizza was on the menu more often than not; Tony was a forty-eight year-old businessman with too little time to care. “Did you even eat today?”

“Don’t try to turn this around, this isn’t about me.” Peter rolled his eyes and smiled to himself. “Did you do anything fun today?”

“I took some pictures for you, it was quite fun.” He knew the mention of new pictures would get him interested in a minute.

“Don’t play with my heart, kid. When can I see them?”

“I don’t know...” He teased just a little, because he knew Tony wasn’t above begging and it was fun to watch.

“Don’t be mean to daddy, come on. He’s always so good to you.” Peter smiled, because, yeah. He was.

“I’ll send them tonight, I promise.” He decided, since they would have more time to talk then, if he sent the pictures earlier, Tony would still be at work and Peter would still be at his friends’.

“Good boy.”

“You know I am.”

“What are you smiling about? Who are you talking to?” Ned looked suspiciously at him, so he quickly put the phone down and shook his head with a nervous smile.

“Just a subscriber with a bad one-liner.”

MJ looked at him like she knew a secret, but Ned just shrugged and finished setting up the game.  They ended up calling it a draw and ordering pizza afterwards, but Peter went back home early because both Ned and MJ had work the next morning.

Once he got upstairs, he went to edit Tony’s pictures and since it was still a little early to send them, he decided to check his twitter DMs. He didn’t read them very often, he already had his plate full with JustForFans, but every once in a while he checked them and answered as many as he could. Most of the messages were dick pics anyway, he just ignored those. Some others were people being nosy and asking way too personal questions, or worse, asking about Beck. He learned how to talk his way around those, but one message in particular stood out and really got to him.  

“I’m so glad you’re doing okay, honey! The way Beck is with his new boy now makes me wonder if he ever even loved you. He sure moved on quickly. You’re better off without him anyway, I always liked you better.”

That sort of comment wasn’t exactly unusual, but that second part caught him a little off guard. Makes me wonder if he ever even loved you. It just – why would she say that?  The way Beck is with his new boy. What way, exactly? What could he possibly be doing that made that person assume Beck never even loved him? People thought they were perfect together, they said it all the time, so much so that Peter himself was almost convinced of it for most of their relationship, so why in the hell would anyone think he loved this other guy more? To the point of assuming he didn’t even love Peter in the first place?

He was a masochist, he decided, as he opened Instagram. And not even the good kind of masochist, because there wasn’t any pleasure involved in what he was about to do, just pain. He unblocked Beck’s profiled and fucking looked. He didn’t know what he expected to find, but just looking at the first picture was enough to make him realize it was a terrible fucking idea. It was a black and white picture of him and the new guy cuddling in bed, kissing with soft smiles on their faces, captioned: “Nowhere else I’d rather be.”

Peter closed the app quickly, he didn’t need to see that. It meant nothing.

That picture meant nothing. That caption meant nothing. Because Beck was a fucking liar, a fucking actor, a fucking illusionist, a fucking – artist. He painted beautiful pictures, he weaved beautiful words, but none of that meant anything. Because it never meant anything when it was Peter in his arms, so why would–

Fuck, he should be over him, so fucking over him. But he really wasn’t, he would go back to that toxic environment if Beck snapped his fingers and that was scary to know. It was fucking terrifying to realize he was one text away from crawling back to him, even after all the humiliation, even after Beck just fucking up and left him with nothing – nothing –  he would still go right back to his arms. He still wanted to go right back to his arms.

It made him feel pathetic and weak because he knew that what they had was toxic and abusive. And he had known that for a while, way before they split up. Deep in his soul, he knew he was living a nightmare, day after day, over and over again, but he couldn’t fucking leave. He thought Beck was all he had. He promised him forever. He promised he would always be there for him. He was all Peter had in life, and he had lost so fucking much over the years, he couldn’t afford to lose anybody else.

But he did, didn’t he? He lost Beck. He was in someone else’s arms right that second, professing his undying, fake love.

Peter took a deep breath and held it a few seconds, then exhaled slowly.

He didn’t lose anything, he was set free. He was free and he had a record to break – it had been three days since he last cried about that asshole and he didn’t plan to ruin it.

He closed Instagram and went to his Just4Fans. He posted a few pictures from a phoshoot he did earlier that week that made him feel sexy and confident, which was the opposite of how he felt at that moment, but he was going to fake it until he made it.

In a few minutes, he got lots of comments and private messages with compliments, but somehow none of them was enough to fill the empty spot Beck left when he dumped him.

Well, none except for one.

“Were you planning on giving an old man a heart attack today? ‘Cause that’s how you give an old man a heart attack.” The silly message got a smile out of him, and that was a lot considering how broken he felt.

“Lol. It wasn’t in my plans, no, but now I’m worried. Is the old man okay?” He joked, and immediately got an answer in his inbox.

“He’s waiting for you to keep your promise. Says he refuses to die before he sees some pictures of you? Do you happen to know anything about that?” Peter chuckled.

“Oh, yeah, I think I know what he’s talking about. Hold on a sec.”

He selected his ten favorite pictures with the date outfit and sent them to Tony, feeling butterflies in his stomach for reasons he couldn’t explain. He lay in bed for several minutes, staring at his phone, waiting for an answer, but the older man didn’t say anything, even though Peter could see he was still online. He started to get a little anxious, worried that he had messed up somehow, so he messaged him again.

“Well? Have I finally rendered the old man speechless?”

Almost at the same time as he sent his message, Tony replied:

“I need to see you.”

Peter’s heart almost jumped out of his mouth when he read those words, eyes widening in shock. I need to see you. He read it a few more times to make sure it meant what he thought it meant. It couldn’t possibly – Tony wouldn’t want to meet him. That would be absurd. He was – well, Peter wasn’t sure, but he sounded important most of the time, he was definitely very rich, very hardworking and he seemed like a really nice guy. So really, why would he want to meet Peter. That made absolutely no sense, obviously he meant something different than that, he just didn’t quite know what–

“Please,” said the next message, just a few seconds later.

Peter bit his lower lip, feeling his face grow warmer. Just for the hell of it, he thought – what if Tony did mean he wanted to meet him? What then? Peter couldn’t say yes, that would be insane. He didn’t even know the man, all he knew were little things about his daily life, he didn’t know his last name, if he had a family, if he was married, if he was a psychopath – he didn’t even know what he looked like!

Still, he fantasized about saying yes. But that was just a fantasy. He couldn’t do it, that would be crazy.

Right?

“You won’t regret it, I’ll treat you right.”

Well, fuck. He had to go straight for his Achilles’s heel, huh.

Peter kept staring at the bright screen of his phone, breathing slowly to try to contain his wild heart that seemed adamant to burst out of his chest cavity in the next few minutes. He didn’t know what to say. No, his brain supplied, like it was obvious, because it was, right? He couldn’t say yes, yes was not a viable answer. He had to say no, it was only a matter of how he would say it without hurting the older man’s ego.

But.

Why exactly did he have to say no? He knew there were ate least 99 good answers to that question, but he couldn’t think of one, so–

“How do I know you’re not a serial killer?” Peter asked, even though he wasn’t really worried about that, it was the last thing on his mind, to be honest.

“You’ll know.” He said, plain and simple, and not helpful at all. And still, no flight response whatsoever from Peter’s brain. His stupid mind couldn’t seem to understand that that was clearly a terrible idea.“We’ll meet in a restaurant, the best in New York, and nothing else has to happen, I promise. We’ll have a nice dinner and that’s it. I just need to see you in person.”

That sounded reasonable, didn’t it? A public place, lots of eyes on them. If Tony turned out to be a creep, he could just leave. At the very worst, he’d be disappointed and lose a very generous subscriber; at the very best, he’d get a good meal out of it and who knew what else. It sounded reasonable. So it was probably reasonable.

Right?

“Can I wear this outfit?” He asked, because, well, that was all he had to wear to New York City’s best restaurant – whatever that was.

“You must, baby.” He answered quickly, and Peter smiled to himself. “So I’ll take that as a yes, then?”

He typed a quick yes, but didn’t send it right away. He gave his brain a few seconds to come up with reasons to say no, because he knew there were good reasons for that, but he really, honestly, just wanted to say–  

“Yes.”

“Perfect.” He replied right away, as if he had been staring at the phone, waiting for his answer. “I’ll set a time and place and let you know. You won’t regret it, Peter.”

Peter loved all the pet names Tony gave him, they were all sweet and funny, but when he called him by his actual name, it just hit different. It felt good. Like he wasn’t just a pretty picture in a porn app, an expensive hobby, but a person. It was hard for him to remember that, sometimes.

Some other times, it felt good to forget.

#starker #peter parker x tony stark

[ilovejevsjeans]

Daniel Ricciardo on his passion for combat sports, a walkout song and the time he asked Lewis Hamilton to ‘fight’

McLaren Formula One driver Daniel Ricciardo, who currently sits seventh in the driver standings heading into this weekend’s Spanish Grand Prix, is among the world’s best behind a steering wheel. But how would he fare if he swapped his racing gloves for boxing or MMA gloves?

“I’d love to do a charity boxing match or something just to feel that adrenaline of walking to a ring,” Ricciardo said. “It’s on my to-do list for sure. At school I had a few little fights but nothing crazy. Nothing I’d brag about here.”

Ricciardo says he learned the sport of boxing from a friend who fought as an amateur growing up. However in recent years his love of combat shifted more toward mixed martial arts, a sport that is “quite beautiful. It’s an art form and I was just taken by it.”

The Australian — who boasts 4.6 million followers on Instagram — rarely misses a fight night, whether that’s a small card or pay-per-view. Every Monday he gears up for multiple MMA podcasts to hear analysis on what just took place in the cage.

In an exclusive interview with The Athletic, Ricciardo opened up about his love for fighting, which driver would make the best opponent and why Lewis Hamilton turned down an opportunity to get in the ring against him.

You’re an avid fight fan. How did this passion for the sport start?

One of my best friends growing up, when he was growing up, he was doing amateur boxing and got very good at it. I was then doing my racing and he was doing his boxing. We were both on a bit of an unconventional path — both individual sports, not really the typical sports the kids at school were doing. We had that in common. Once I started taking my racing more seriously I began taking my fitness more seriously. So I started going to his gym to just train. I really enjoyed doing it. But the truth is — I don’t want to lie to anyone. I’m not a fighter. As much as I would picture beating the bully up at school, it’s not me. But I just fell in love with not only doing it but also watching it.

I enjoyed watching boxing but it was really when I got exposed to MMA … It just had me. It was back in 2011 when I started properly getting into it. It was the quickest sport I had ever been absorbed by. I was all in.

My whole YouTube feed is just all MMA shows, whether it’s press conferences, interviews, podcasts. It’s just full of MMA stuff. I’m a full nerd now.

Being in Australia and traveling a lot, are you forced to get up at weird times for fights?

The beauty was I was in LA when (Conor McGregor vs. Dustin Poirier 2) was on so it was prime time and I was happy. But normally in Europe, it’s 4 a.m. or 5 a.m., which isn’t as good. Any kind of sporting event that you look forward to, it’s always cool when it’s in the evening because you have all day to get ready and talk about it. If you wake up at 4 a.m. it’s like “ugh,” and then you’re straight into it so there’s not as much of a build-up. But it’s all good.

So do you still train at all?

No. To races, my trainer carries some pads and gloves just to stay a little sharp and change it up. If I’m getting my reflexes with some tennis balls, maybe I throw in a bit of a boxing combination or something. Again, I’m not saying I’m good or anything. But I just enjoy the whole movement part of it.

Boxing was cool and I enjoyed watching it growing up. But there was something with MMA where there’s just so many different disciplines and the matchups … as a contest it was so much more open and for that, exciting. I feel — I know it’s not always the case — you can kind of tell in boxing if someone is getting momentum, the advantage. It’s like “this guy is going to win the fight.” But in MMA, it’s like “this guy is winning standing but if this goes to the ground, it’s back to square one.” So I just loved it. I was really immersed by it all.

Did you have a particular fighter or fight that got you hooked early on?

One of the first events I watched was UFC 116. Chris Leben was on the card and I think he was losing the fight. And then he got a triangle with probably 20 seconds to go in the third round, so that was really exciting. Stephan Bonnar was also on that card and he got a really cool finish on “The Polish Experiment” Krzysztof Soszynski. That was a card for me where I was very taken from that. Then I discovered “The Ultimate Fighter.” I just binge-watched all of those (seasons).

In terms of fighters, Leben was a character, I liked him. Carlos Condit. I’d say Condit and Cub Swanson were two guys I got behind early on. Condit, I love his style and the way he carries himself.

Have you been to a lot of cards in person?

The very first one I did was the best for me personally. To this day, it’s my favorite sporting event I’ve ever been to: (Conor) McGregor-(Chad) Mendes. Vegas in July 2015. Obviously McGregor, but he wasn’t yet a champion and still kind of on the rise. It was the energy and atmosphere. It was just wild.

The whole event too. (Robbie) Lawler-(Rory) MacDonald, which had the fight of the year. Every fight on the main card I think was a finish, so I got very lucky at my first event.

I’ve done (Michael) Bisping-(Anderson) Silva in the UK. That was a great contest as well.

There are a lot of great fighters from Australia and New Zealand like Israel Adesanya, Alexander Volkanovski and Robert Whittaker. Have you had a chance to meet any of them?

I haven’t met them. A couple of them I’ve had interactions with on social media. But I love Whittaker, obviously Volkanovski is killing it. I’m fairly patriotic to the Aussie fighters. If they are fighting, 99 percent of the time I’ll be supporting them. But one of my good buddies is roommates with Luke Rockhold, so I got to know Luke the last couple of years. I was trying to do some training over Christmas with him but it didn’t end up working out.

I know you’re a big shoey guy. What do you think of Tai Tuivasa doing it after wins?

I’ve had a bit of contact with Tuivasa as well. It’s obviously great. But one thing I can’t get behind is spitting. That’s a little extra.

Plus he’ll grab some random fan’s shoe.

He definitely takes it to the next level. It’s cool that — as disgusting as it is — we have some traditions like this.

Shifting a bit to F1, have you ever gotten into any big fights on the track? What was the worst fight you’ve gotten in?

Earlier in go-karting there was a bit more. Unfortunately in F1, I guess because you’re on the world’s stage, even if you push someone you probably are going to get a fine or get penalized. At times it’s a little too clean. But I’m still waiting for the day that someone confronts me and I just lay them out (laughs).

You also just seem a lot more laid back than a lot of other drivers, so you’d probably not be my first choice of someone getting into a fight soon.

I’m all talk, it would be nice obviously to not have to fight anyone. But no one would expect it from me. Even when I tell people I’m a fight fan, people are like “oh really? You’re into that? You seem too nice to like that.”

But to get where I have in the sport, you need a bit of a killer streak in you. I do have it, but don’t always show it.

What other driver would make the best fighter?

I know some guys have done — for fitness — hit some pads. Randomly, he doesn’t have a seat this year, but Daniil Kvyat started doing quite a lot of boxing last year for his training. I saw a few clips and it started to look like he knew what he was doing. I would say he would be the guy who has the most idea. I’d put him and myself up there. The rest I don’t think stand a chance.

So if you had a charity event, you don’t have anyone in particular you’d want to go against?

To be honest, I actually asked Lewis Hamilton. At the beginning of 2016, he posted a video on his Instagram hitting pads. I was as well at the time, so I was like “hey, let’s do a charity fight.” I asked him in person. But he didn’t bite on that one so I was a little sad.

I might re-ask the question.

What about Max Verstappen? For people who watched the first season of the F1 show “Drive to Survive” on Netflix, I’m sure they would love to see you guys throw down at some point.

That would have been cool as well (laughs). Max would be a good competitor in the ring. The way he drives, he’s quite stubborn. He’d be a hard guy to put away. He’s probably the guy that you’d choke him and he’s going to sleep and not tapping. That would make an interesting one.

In contrast, is there an MMA fighter you’d like to race on the track?

An obvious one would be Conor McGregor. To hear in his Irish accent all kinds of things, that would make pretty good television. And he loves his cars. It’s obvious, but that would probably be the best.

How often would you say you watch fights now? Not just PPVs, right?

Unless I have something like work or another commitment, I’m watching it every week. Mondays I’m getting ready for every podcast. I sound like a real nerd but it’s just an addiction. I love it. Anyone doing that for Formula 1, I’d be like “you’re such a nerd,” but here I am doing it with MMA.

Is it hard to follow everything during the race season?

If I can’t see it live, then 100 percent I’m going to watch the replay or buy it later. But it’s also a good escape. If I’m traveling and I’m in between races, to get my mind away from my competition, I like to watch it. I also try to pick up things as well. Whether it’s from a mental point of view … I’ll look at the walkouts and how they are behaving. I try to figure out if they are really as calm and collected as they are portraying or if it’s a bit of a facade. I’m trying to work out what I can use in my events.

Do you have a walkout song prepared if you were to fight?

I’ve thought about it. The short answer is no. You typically have to have something heavy and fast, but I fell in love with Chris Weidman’s “Won’t Back Down.” It’s not typically a song that will pump you up but it’s so iconic and now it’s his, it’s very fitting.

I’d go for something more lyrically powerful as opposed to instrumental. I loved Max Holloway’s, I think it’s called Mount Everest (by Labrinth). (X)

#hopefully this is the right one anon #daniel ricciardo #dan #interviews

[allywritesforfun]

{Fire pit} MCYT Vacation Series

summary: yeah just, hanging around a fire pit with a very drunk wilbur soot

includes: dream, georgenotfound, wilbur soot, sapnap, karl jacobs, philza, badboyhalo, charlie slimesicle, quackity

pairings: dnf, karlnap

word count: 1469

trigger warnings: swearing, alcohol usage, mentions of burns

regular masterlist

MCYT vacation series masterlist

“Who here knows how to get a fire started?” Dream asked.

The group held off on doing a fire night for a while. It’s not that they didn't want to do it, it’s more of the fact that they were scared to do it. The only responsible one there was Phil, but he was the only one who has experience with  a drunken Wilbur Soot. 

Tonight; however, was the perfect night. The forecast was clear, not even huge gusts of wind expected. It was ideal, everyone could sit in a circle and not have smoke filling their lungs. 

Dream took it upon himself to get out all of the chairs while Quackity carried the wood from the truck, making multiple trips. Bad offered to help him, but Quackity talked himself up about how strong he is and wanted to prove a point.

“I’ve made a fire before for a Mr. Beast video,” Karl mentioned. “I could give it a go.” 

“That atta boy, Karl!” Dream patted him on the back. “Everything that you need is somewhere out here. I’m sure Sap will get you anything.”

Karl looked over at Sapnap, who was in a bit of a conundrum. He was trying to help Charlie set up the bug net around the area. Dream got a huge one off of  Amazon that would make a huge tent but leave enough room to move around. Charlie was working on getting the stakes in the ground and spacing while Sapnap... was in a wrestling match with the net. 

Charlie gave him one simple task: unravel the net. Sapnap got as far as taking the pin out that held it together and somehow he got under it... and wrapped all up in it. It was a hilarious sight, seeing Sapnap wail his arms aimlessly to only get the net wrapped around him more.

“Sap!” Karl called out. “Calm down and stop. Let me help you.”

“I have it under control!” Sapnap yelled back. “I don't need any help. It’s just a stupid net! Aghhh.” That ‘stupid net’ wrapped around his leg and when he tried to move his arm, the net pulled back, taking Sapnap out at the knees.

Everyone turned around from the high pitch scream that left Sapnap’s lips and bursted out laughing. Karl did his best to hold his laugh in, but seeing his boyfriends angry face made him fail.

“Can I help you now?” Karl asked, reaching out for the net.

Sapnap crossed his arms in defeat, “Help.”

Karl detangled the net and patted Sapnap on the cheek, “There ya go. I have to go start the fire.”

Sapnap pecked his cheek, “Damn right you start that fire.”

A car horn beeped from the front of the yard, Phil was back. They sent Phil out to get stuff for s’mores since they forgot about it on the grocery list... well, more like they didn't get enough. Half the marshmallows were gone before the second day.

“Children!” Phil called. “I am back!”

Wilbur ran up to Phil and tried to snatch the bag of treats, but he was too slow and Phil whipped it behind his back, “Come on, Phil!”

Phil shook his head, “I’m putting myself in charge of s’mores. You little fucking gremlin will eat them all if I don't.”

“B-But that's not fair!” Wilbur pleaded. “I am a grown man Philzaminecraft. Just give me one marshmallow, that's all I want.”

Phil gave in, “Just one.” He took the marshmallows out of the bag and ripped them open with two fingers. He leaned the bag to Wilbur, carefully watching him only take one, “Good.”

Back at the now started fire, Badboyhalo was making good observations, “Hey, Dream! With the net in place there won’t be much room for benches and chairs.”

“Oh shit you already noticed,” Dream mumbled under his breath.

“What was that?” Bad asked.

“Well you see...” Dream scratched the back of his neck and looked over at George, who gave him the nod. “Benches and chairs are kinda of boring, and they didn't come with the property. I was open that everyone would be okay using old pillows and blankets that I brought because I didn't have enough room in the car to take benches.”

There was a silence among the group. That was a twist that no one would’ve thought of.

Charlie was the first to speak out, “That sounds fun actually! Think of it guys, who wants a boring old campfire? It’s gonna be like we're on some survival show. I’ve always wanted to try one.”

Everyone nodded in agreement. It was probably for the better that no one could fall off of a chair and into the fire. It was more controlled and brought them closer, literally.

“It’s gonna be a great night!” Dream declared. “Georgie, can you get the spares from the car?”

George nodded and went on his way.

“I’m gonna go with George to the cars if you don't mind,” Quackity told Dream. “I think we got enough logs for a couple hours here and I wanna go grab my guitar in the car.”

The sun set and the bugs came out. Everyone helped out getting the ground comfortable and took their spots. After a few quick pictures, the boys were ready to begin their night phone-free.

“Anyone want a s’more stick?” Phil offered, even though he was already passing them out.

“I’m good for now,” Wilbur replied. “But where are the drinks?”

“There should be some in the fridge,” Dream answered.

Wilbur immediately got up and ducked under the net.

“Already?” Bad asked. “We haven't even sat down for five minutes.”

“Oh fuck off!” Wilbur called in the distance.

“Language!”

“Just let him drink!” Quackity urged. “He was gonna do it anyways. Let him have fun and let loose, maybe you should too.”

Bad just ignored him and stuck a marshmallow at the end of his silver stick. Phil looked around and made sure that everyone had supplies before he started his own s’more.

“Do you want me to make yours?” George asked Dream. “I don't want you to get marshmallow in my hair.”

“Pfft what?” Dream asked. “How would I get marshmallow in your hair? I’m not that messy of an eater.”

“Dream, you are 6′1 and I am sitting in your lap. Melted marshmallow are gonna get in my hair with how clumsy you are! You like to move around a lot and I do not want to take extra time in the shower!”

“You already take twenty minutes!” Charlie teased. “You nearly used up all the fucking hot water last night!”

Everyone laughed, including Wilbur who was trying to pass out drinks. Most people denied the offer, it was too early into the fire to start now. Wilbur sat down between Phil and Karl and started to drink straight out of the vodka bottle.

“Jesus fuck, Wil,” Sapnap commented. “Slow down.”

“What?” Wilbur hiccuped. “You didn't see Tubbo make me drink like two and half shots without a break?”

That led to a conversation about streams that didn't have to do with Minecraft, which led to many more conversations about what to outsiders would consider nothing important.

But everyone was having one of the best nights of their lives. Quackity was playing random cords on his guitar that he made mental notes of to make into songs later. George was nearly asleep already due to the fact the Dream would not stop playing with his hair and rubbing his sides, which everyone thought was cute. Wilbur was long gone by now and good thing Charlie was up grabbing wood to catch him from falling in. His hand touched the outer rocks, so there might be a minor burn later, but he was too out of it to even feel it. Karl led a great men’s choir to the song “The Campfire Song Song” from Spongebob.

The fire lasted somewhere around three hours, but the boys made a lifetime worth of memories. Phil and Bad had to help Wilbur get back in the house, which they gave up trying by the time they got to the hallway, so in the hallway he stayed...he would eventually sober up and make it to bed. 

George forced Dream to carry him up the stairs because: “Dream, I’m too tired. If you don’t carry me, that’s proof you don’t love me.”

Karl and Sapnap stayed behind to clean up as much as they could carry. Which led to them sitting by the fire a little while longer until it was completely out, stuffing each other’s faces with marshmallows playing ‘Chubby Bunny’, which they ended up making each other laugh and lost at the same time. 

Tonight was definitely a night that was gonna be told at many weddings to come.

#dream #dreamwastaken #George #georgenotfound #dnf #dreamnotfound #wilbur #wilbur soot #drunk wilbur #drunk wilbur soot #sapnap #karl #karl jacobs #karlnap #philza #badboyhalo #bbh #Charlie #charlie slimecicle #slimecicle #quackity #allywritesforfunmcytvacationseries #vacation #mcyt #mcyt fanfic #fanfic #campfire

[tracybirds]

I can officially switch the status of Being Known from “stuck” to “WIP” again :) It’s been over a year since the last update for various reasons but I’m very excited to go back to this one and provide a new chapter!

For those new to the story, this was prompted by @kenzie-running-free in March 2020 and slightly got out of hand 😅 I’ve never stopped thinking about it and I bit the bullet and deleted the entirety of Chapter Four a few days ago and let myself rewrite it from scratch.... and it WORKED!!! (use technique with caution... scariest thing I’ve ever done.....)

Anyway...

A ‘what-if’ story based on “The Man From TB5” where the Hood recognized John in the scene when he makes himself known (instead of John stuttering).... and then he gets kidnapped :)

[Part 1] | [Part 2] | [Part 3]

-----------

Darkness bled into John’s line of vision and he scrubbed desperately at his aching eyes. Time collapsed around him as he worked, the abruptly extinguished bulb the only hint of night. And every new day seemed to bring new weariness as he jolted awake by the sudden onslaught of light which interrupted the deepest part of sleep.

Just another tactic to keep him from gathering his wits together.

This morning, if it was morning, the brightly burning bulb was coupled with the scraping sound of a breakfast tray being shoved through the small slot that had been crudely and hastily carved in the door after he’d lain in wait and brought the tray down over one of the guard’s head. He’d left the man stunned on the floor and made it all the way to the end of the corridor before another guard had grabbed him from behind and thrown him bodily back into the room.

He’d woken to security footage of a fire ravaging a building, his own family on screen.

“They’re not looking for you,” sneered the Hood as he swept from the room.

No guards came in anymore.

Two days later, he’d been savagely poked in the eye when he’d tried to look through the new slot that had been hastily added to his door.

He spent hours every day, searching for a way to send out a message, or even create another receiver. Any link to the outside world would do. But it soon became apparent that the Hood had done one thing right in giving him access to an isolated system, keeping the holomonitor he’d been provided with separate even from his own devices.

One thing right among many.

John peered at the screen with his good eye, wincing at the torn skin that pulled over bruised muscle. His head spun as he stared at the endless commands, trying to replicate the spark of life no-one had ever found before EOS.

Not even him.

And that was the rub of it all.

John didn’t know, not after all his time studying EOS and her abilities, just how she’d been born of code and logical absolutes. How she could grow and change and evaluate her own mind in a way that not only seemed human, but was unquestionably so.

He glanced at the clock he’d created from scratch, counting the oscillations in the electrical current and spitting back a digital time at him. This ‘morning’ truly did correspond with the morning, and that meant the Hood would be paying him a visit for an update.

He wasn’t sure how much more time he could stall for until things got truly desperate.

How much time he had until he had to conclude that he was truly on his own.

*                            *                            *

“Scott, the floor’s unstable there!”

“I know what I’m doing, Alan.”

“Yes, but I have the numbers,” Alan replied, his voice cracking as he spoke. He spun the holo in his hands, checking and double checking the analysis that was running under his fingertips.

“Then the numbers are wrong.”

“They can’t be!”

“Alan,” said Scott, patiently. “I need you to check the parameters over again. I’m seeing two trapped vehicles, with no sign of ground stress, both much larger than me and more importantly containing passengers. I need to get them out of there.”

“Yes, but hang on–”

“There’s no time!”

Alan watched in horror as his big brother barrelled forwards. He crouched low as he ran, grabbing at nearby pylons for support. The ground heaved beneath his feet, but still Scott moved forwards steady and sure. Always with his eyes on the scared little boy in the back seat and a gentle smile on his face.

An alert ticked over into the red.

“Jump, Scott!” he yelled, watching the model floor cave in a split second before a real sinkhole opened beneath Scott’s feet.

“Alan, what’s happening up there?” came Virgil’s urgent voice, bound for home with Gordon from their own rescue.

Alan flipped the channel, realising in his hurry he’d accidentally broadcast his message to everyone.

“He’s fine,” he said, eyes still wide as he watched Scott shakily stand on the other side of the chasm. “The floor went.”

“What?”

“He’s fine, he’s fine!”

“Didn’t you run the simulation?”

“I did,” said Alan, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes. “He wouldn’t listen.”

Silence fell over the space station.

“Hey Alan, can you pilot Thunderbird One over to us? Got my hands full here.”

Scott’s voice rang out loud and clear. Five clear thermal images were standing around him, including one in his arms.

Alan fumbled for the call button.

“F.A.B. Scott.”

“I’ll talk to him, Alan,” said Virgil. His eyes were focused beyond him, but Alan could read the quiet fury beneath the clear focus on his own piloting.

“I can’t do it, Virgil,” whispered Alan. “I must have done something wrong, there must have been something he could see that I couldn’t.”

“You’ve done nothing wrong,” interrupted Virgil.

“He never would have done this to…”

Alan’s voice failed him.

Twenty-two thousand miles below, Virgil choked back his own distress. Gordon was chewing at his lip, staring anxiously at Alan. He leaned forward so he was in view of the holo.

“Hey, Allie,” he said. “John’s gonna be okay. And he’ll be giving Scott hell for ignoring the modelling like that soon enough.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Absolutely, I do,” said Gordon, cracking a grin. “No way, John would let Scott get away with that crap. Not even if he had to haunt him for the rest of his life in ghostly fury to do it.”

“Is he wrapping up now?” asked Virgil, eyes still pinched.

Alan looked down at the display.

“Yeah, he’s on his way home.”

“Right. EOS?”

“Virgil?” Her quiet voice was sullen and more than a little distracted.

“Got room in your processors for another task?”

EOS’s lights flashed suddenly, and Alan’s blood ran cold at the sight. Three weeks he’d been stationed on board Thunderbird Five and he still found himself walking on eggshells around EOS. Her frustration at turning up nothing in the holonet that could lead them closer to John morphed quickly from long, silent sulks to short outbursts of flying bagels and spinning gravity rings. He’d never forgotten the sight of John floating limply like a rag doll that had been torn apart one too many times by a playful, thoughtless, destructive child.

An angry EOS felt too close to losing his brother for good.

“Will it help, John?”

“It’ll keep his brother alive, and that will make it more likely for us to find him.”

“What can I do?”

“Lock Scott out of his controls, Order TB2-5711FR. Make sure Alan gets to Tracy Island before him. Redirect all calls to local authorities in the first instance, follow Protocol 24.”

“I’m not leaving,” argued Alan. “Don’t pull me from duty, I can do better.”

“No arguments.”

Alan wilted, knowing he had no choice but to follow Virgil’s instructions.

“This is done, Virgil,” said EOS, blankly.

“Thank you, EOS,” said Virgil, his manner still stiff and terse. He shifted his gaze from the open ocean in front of him to Alan, his expression softening. “You haven’t done anything wrong, Alan. If Scott takes his life into his own hands, that’s not on you. But we can’t have him in the field like that, cutting corners to get back to finding John. So, we need you down here in his place.”

“You can’t pull Scott,” said Alan, his eyes wide. “What would… well, what would Scott say?”

“We’re doing him a favour,” remarked Gordon with a sarcastic twist of his lips that made a mockery of his usual grin. “He wants to find John, we all do, but if he’s willing to risk lives and rescues to do it then he should put his energy into searching and we shouldn’t stop him.”

Alan swallowed, his eyes filling with tears that he angrily swiped away.

“Does he think we’re not looking just as hard?” he asked. “We haven’t forgotten him. Have we?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Alan,” said Virgil, firmly. “John would have our heads before we put the possibility of finding him above the certainty of ignoring people who need our help.”

“So, we keep going out there,” agreed Gordon. “And when, when Allie, Kayo and Lady P and Parker find something, and they will, we’ll be right there without a moment to lose.”

“I just don’t want him to think we’ve forgotten him.”

“John’s too smart for that,” said Gordon. “Promise you, Allie.”

*                            *                            *

He’d worked it out. Every time he did something to anger the Hood, innocent people paid for it in blood. There was no point in harming him directly, not when what the Hood wanted was inside his mind, ripe for extraction. But his heart and spirit could be broken, as a video feed periodically forced itself over his work to make him watch. Earthquakes, landslides, tidal waves, anything that would get International Rescue on the scene and off his scent.

Senseless destruction and despair epidemic across the world because he couldn’t make an AI fast enough.

But senseless destruction that he could use.

There was no doubt in his mind that his family knew the natural disasters were anything but, he could see it in the determined fury in Scott’s face, in the tense draw of Virgil’s shoulders, in the sardonic mockery in Gordon’s smile as he quietly pocketed yet another piece of equipment.

He didn’t see Alan, and he thought of his baby brother up in space often. None of his brothers had any real idea of the full extent of his contribution, no matter how grateful they were for his guidance, and he hated to know Alan would be forced into that knowledge.

He also suspected that when Alan did spill the beans, he’d find his own rotations scrutinised with a lot more care.

Still, the limited glimpses of his brothers did nothing to discourage him, and he found himself contemplating a plan of escape well into the long, cold nights.

He needed more information.

He needed access to an external holonet connection. And the only way he’d get near one was with a working AI.

Or something that could pass for a few minutes as one.

#john tracy #alan tracy #all the bros are there but these are our main perspectives today #thunderbirds are go #sometimes i fic #i need to update ao3 again don't i.....

[crqstalite]

Letters Home.

I made a mistake because this was originally meant to answer a prompt fill and then I forgot about it until now. So I tweaked it, but it still works I think.

I would rather not think about the fact the current majority of writing I've done for Lali and Joker is very angsty. That'll change, eventually, but it was begging to be written so here we are. It's a little shaky since I've written Joker himself maybe a grand total of three times but I'm happy enough with it.

Post-Thessia, minor (major?) character death mentioned. Lali/Joker.

"There's a new Blasto movie coming out, it doesn't look a lot better than the last one, but it'd be great to see with you when you're home again."

Her green eyes are still bright, her grin wide while she falls back on the collection of pillows decorating her bed. Her concerns then must've extended about as far as what was for dinner that evening, or tomorrow's assignment. Blasto wasn't one of her favorites, he knew that every time they'd watched one together, but she'd sat through every single one because it made him happy. Not that she didn't complain the entire time though.

It'd been a while since he'd been fifteen himself, but those concerns shouldn't have included Reapers in them.

"You must know about all the inaccuracies in the movies, huh? With the Council and stuff this has to be hilarious to you."

Joker isn't sure what feeling to name the one that's threatening to consume him while Hilary continues talking, rattling off that week's events. Teachers, classmates, her chores around the house.

The vidmail just seemed so normal. Everything had seemed perfectly fine when he'd checked in on them after they'd left Earth. Maybe that was an overstatement, nothing would've been fine but it was still manageable then. His father and his younger sister had intended to bunker down for as long as they had to, as long as they could while he'd promised them to try and get them off Tiptree. Nothing had seemed off. Nothing had seemed wrong. He thought they'd have time.

Six months later and he'd proved himself wrong. Time was in shorter and shorter supply. By the time he could turn his attention fully back to finding them nearly a week ago to do anything more about their situation, it'd been too late. He'd heard it over the extranet, part the long list of colony worlds flashing red every other hour. His blood had run cold while he'd hoped, prayed he wouldn't find his homeworld among the lost.

The galaxy felt like it stopped spinning when he did. In big, bright red letters, it'd said Tiptree, and he...it'd all felt like a bad dream then. That he'd look back and see it was some other colony out in the Traverse. Not his. It couldn't. It shouldn't have. It was so far outside of normal trade routes that it didn't make sense for the Reapers to seize it.

Yet they'd done so anyway. The last communications had gone out the day prior, and had stretched into silence since then. Where he'd be expecting a call today, instead his missed messages have remained dark. His 'tool won't connect to his father's, or Hilary's.

He almost misses when the door behind him opens, his hand missing the pause button on the video while he scrambles for it. He doesn't get a great glance over his shoulder, but it's enough for him to try and get his emotions back in check long enough to hold a conversation, "Shepard? Look, I'm sorry for what I said earlier."

"You've got the wrong Shepard, actually. I think." If the voice isn't enough to convince him, then the absence of anger in it does when he turns his chair to look at her. Smaller, softer, more concerned when Citlali pauses in the doorway compared to her elder sister. His girlfriend a sight for sore eyes, at least compared to her counterpart, "Sorry for scaring you, if I did.

"You didn't. Just, thought she was making the rounds again. And holding a grudge against your commander doesn't really bode well for you, as I've found." He can't find the energy to add a genuine laugh with the quip, and while Citlali smiles, it's one of the ones that's strained, "What? I feel like Alenko's walking proof of that."

"I guess, depending on how you look at it." She furrows her brow, maybe in thought, maybe in disbelief. He still can't read her very well, though it's not as if she makes it easy. Shaking off the expression, "Do you mind if I come in? You seemed...busy."

While Hilary's vid has gone quiet, he doesn't meet her eyes. The distraction might be better than nothing, even though he'd rather spend his time alone, most likely watching the last handful of mails from the month prior, "If you want to, sure. Did you need anything?"

"No. It's just...quiet around here. Thessia's on everyone's mind and it honestly feels too constricting." The door closes behind her, "If you're worried, Kodelyn's with Liara right now. I don't think she's going to come back up here for a while."

"Oh good. That'll probably give her time to cool off." Refocus her frustration with Thessia back towards comforting, always seemed like it fixed something in her. He might've been out of line, but he hadn't been expecting for her to explode at him like that. It seemed too out of character, and he hadn't been able to accurately predict it. The longer she spent doing anything else was probably extending his lifespan. Shepard wasn't predictable, but she rarely played the stereotype of the short-fuse Commander.

"Cool off?" Citlali quirks an eyebrow, "Was she mad at...you?"

"Surprising, I know."

"Weird. What'd you do?"

"Nothing." He says habitually, then sighs, "I don't know. Rough day for obvious reasons, she wasn't doing so well and I probably didn't make it any better."

"Oh." Citlali cringes, "She wasn't too upset with you, was she?"

"Probably not with me specifically. I just ended up as collateral damage."

"Collateral -- Never mind. She'll probably apologize when she's feeling more like herself. If she ever does." Her tone wavers at that, uncertainty on the other end of it, "Are you okay, though?"

His silence answers it for her. What does he say to that? Fine, only that I found out my home might be ashes and the only family I have left might be gone?

Well, he probably could.

"Sure. Fine."

Her smile's shaky, "Are you really fine, or are you just trying to get rid of me?"

"Never, I love spending time with you. You know that."

"Uh-huh. I'll suspend my disbelief, but only because you're sweet," She frowns at that, padding over to sit in the empty co-pilot's chair, turning it to face him, "If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. You don't have to lie to me though."

"I'm not. Just dealing with...everything. All of us have our off days." The screen blinks when he turns back to it, Hilary's expression still frozen in one of amusement. His chest grows heavy again, this one was dated a day before the Reapers came through. This vidmail, the one like so many others that'd come before it, was one of the last ones he'd ever have of her.

And when he received it, he hadn't thought anything of it. He wouldn't go as far as to say he'd taken the ritual for granted, but he'd thought he'd receive another one. And another after that. He was careful to watch every one, and send back another as soon as he was able. His had gone unread.

"Fair enough." Citlali leans back, blissfully oblivious, "Long day. Maybe way too many things happened all at once."

"You could probably say that again."

"I'll refrain from repeating myself." She chuckles, "Can't wait to get back to the Citadel. The rest this crew needs is probably ticking up towards absurd."

"That bad in your professional opinion?" He asks, "I'd thought we were doing just peachy. Y'know, with the Council trying to absolve themselves of guilt and the galaxy crumbling around us."

"Thank God for night clubs." She responds, leaning back, "It just feels tenser than ever. Can't shake the feeling we're getting towards the end of whatever this is, and it's making everyone jumpy."

"Probably, yeah. Hopefully it'll be longer than a day or two when Shepard's done with Horizon. It'd be nice not running from Reaper forces day in and day out."

"Too exciting for you?"

"Everyone has their limits. just seems like there are more of them than ever lately, and they all want a piece of us." That much is true. The other half is that he wants a chance to search. Search the Citadel, search the surrounding systems. Maybe Hilary would be with the refugees, and he just hadn't found her yet. Maybe she'd lost her 'tool. They'd never been great at remembering each other's codes.

One hell of a time to forget, if she was out there, all alone and surrounded by the unknown.

Citlali turns her gaze towards the front window, then to one of the screens in front of him from what she can see, "Thessia-related matters aside, if you're willing to share, who's that?"

He hesitates, trying to find an answer while his throat tightens around his words. All he can do is send a picture of Hilary over to her screen. She halfway smiles when she receives it, one of her out in the yard during his last leave. Yellow sundress, celebrating the first day of summer, "Friend? Family? She looks just like you. Same grin and everything."

"Family. Younger sister, actually."

"Aw. Looks just like you." Citlali smiles, "What's she like?"

"Like any little sister, I guess." What was there to say? Why is he looking for adjectives to encapsulate the sister he loved, and why is it so difficult, "Smart, kind, practical joker sometimes. Occasionally gets on your nerves, but you love her too much to stay mad."

"As all siblings do. Feel like she'd be fun to have around. Guess you missed out on the curly hair gene, huh?"

"Had it when I was younger."

"Is she looking to follow in your footsteps? A pilot just like her brother?"

The lump in his throat almost doesn't let him answer her, and he plays with the bill of his hat, "Maybe. I don't think she ever really said anything about it."

"Big shoes to fill, I get it." The smile fades slightly when he doesn't follow up on it, "Where is she now?"

His voice is raspy when he tries to talk again, "I don't...really know. I don't know if she even still is."

Her face falls, furrowing her brows once she realizes, "I- Jeff..."

"Evac orders were sent out to Tiptree a couple of days ago. No news since, only that a handful made it...somewhere. Liara didn't say where." The orange lights in front of him start to swim in the water collecting in the corners of his eyes, "I don't even know if she made it offworld."

There's a flood threatening to burst behind his eyes, delicately held back for the last few days just by sheer will. Just the thought of the planet being turned into Earth, Palaven, Tuchanka...hell even what he saw of Thessia turns his stomach.

They didn't live that close to any major city, but they still would've been at risk if they sent any husks out that way. Any of the other grotesque monsters they'd seen lately.

Had she been looking for him? When it'd all happened, had he missed her call while they were in FTL? Just by a split second.

The thought of one them getting their hands on her, one of the sweetest girls in the galaxy who'd done nothing but act as a ray of sunshine in his life, it kills him to think about.

His hands are wet, he doesn't even realize until he hears Citlali's boots against the ground behind him. Her eyes are searching his face when she kneels down next to his chair, holding out her arms halfway in a silent question.

He accepts a moment later, wrapping his arms around her. She hugs him back, a quiet whisper on her lips when she returns the gesture, "I'm so sorry."

The dam breaks.

Big jade eyes that match his, a grin she lamented about every other day. The figurine he'd brought back for her, the Normandy, on her nightstand just in view.

What he'd give to see her again. Hear her voice again.

The galaxy crumbles away, tears streaming down his face.

"I love you, Jeff. I miss you."

#joker #lali/joker #oc #original character #veloker #jeff moreau

[concubuck]

two guys going 🙃 and being awkward (9/10/21 chat log)

A conversation between Alastor/Buck (hi there) and Alastor/Alexa (@furby-organist/@killstreaming). So remember when Alexa said “you should turn your junk into a fan” and Buck said “one time i turned my junk into a garbage disposal wanna see” and an hour later Alexa went “I can’t believe I told my alternate to turn his junk into a fan” and Buck went “I can’t believe I showed my alternate my garbage disposal junk”? In a stunning and unprecedented display of mutual emotional maturity, they decide to mutually apologize instead of silently pretend it never happened.

concubuck

"Hi! Hello, am I reaching Alastor? This is your alternate speaking! The one that, uh..." AWKWARD PAUSE. "... The one from last night!" That was the only non-horrible way to identify himself, wasn't it.

killstreaming

Oh. Oh God. Alexa wanted to die significantly less today than he wanted to die last night after the post-clown clarity hit, but the feeling immediately SPIKED. Oh no. (Keep calm.) “Hi! Hello, alternate! Yes, speaking! What can I do for you?” He’s going to get chewed out, he knows it.

concubuck

Oh he answered. Buck had been braced to spend five minutes talking to dead air and never be sure if his alternate was silently listening or just not home. He sort of thinks this might be worse?

"Yes? Well!" Clears his throat. "I thought I ought to address last night before it festers. You see, I, uh..." A nervous pause; and then he sighs. "I—okay, look. Cards on the table: I haven't been human for several years. I'm doing a poor job of remembering human etiquette. Even the basic things, like 'don't send an unsolicited film starring your genitalia to a near stranger.' So—I—wanted to apologize for driving you to drink yourself to sleep."

killstreaming

Oh god, they were talking about last night. /Oh./ He wasn’t being chewed out. “I see. Alright. First and foremost, I appreciate you reaching out.” That meant /Alexa/ didn’t have to reach out. “Understandable and fair on all counts, apology accepted. For what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re entirely in the wrong here. What I’ll /mostly/ take you to task for is putting me in a position where I’d have had to deal with the awkwardness of declining /publicly/. But ultimately, moot point.”

“It was on topic, though, wasn’t it? I /started/ it, and for that, I owe /you/ an apology. I shouldn’t have roped you into that conversation to begin with. Admittedly, this sort of absurd lewd banter has become the norm on hotel grounds -- but with /friends I’ve known for a while/. I don’t know you well enough to bring up your genitalia, absurdist meem or not. I was out of line, and I apologize. I didn’t drink because of /you/. I wanted to exit consciousness upon realizing my social ineptitude, for which I have no excuse, as I’m currently human. So.”

concubuck

Apology accepted. Silent BIG sigh of relief. "Yes, I—I do recognize I put you in a no win situation, there. Modern etiquette hasn't yet provided us with a gentlemanly way of saying 'no, sir, I do NOT want to see your #### live and in color!'"

HE was owed an apology? He blinked in bewilderment, doing several rounds of mental gymnastics before he worked out WHY. "Oh! Oh. Yes, that's—right—well, I— Well that's—there you have it, just what I was saying about the difference between succubi and humans. It never even dawned upon me that the subject matter was unusual. In fact, I'm /sure/ I thought something to myself like 'oh! Dismemberment! How refreshing, a conversation that isn't sexual.'" Hi don't mind that slight edge of hysteria to his laughter, it's barely noticeable, hardly there, really. "Well—apology accepted, naturally. No damage was done, didn't even chip the paint."

killstreaming

“Pff--” Alexa cackled loudly, one hand uselessly covering his mouth. Live and in color, indeed. Alright, point made, looked like he and Buck were on the same page. “In retrospect, tuning in with no hesitation wasn’t the most grandiose display of decorum.” /Was/ there a correct way to have handled that? Alexa didn’t think so, so, no apology offered.

It was Alexa’s turn to internally sigh of relief. Good, he hadn’t irreparably weirded Buck out. “Hah, alright! I’m not entitely familiar with succubus etiquette, but I’m glad to hear it cast me in a better light than I otherwise would’ve been!” Oh, wheeze. “Hah, what people are into has never ceased to amaze me. Dismemberment, really. But hey-- I’m fine to say, no harm, no foul. I’m good if you’re good.”

concubuck

"... Mm. Perhaps." Tuning in with no hesitation was, in fact, exactly what he hoped and needed people to do. The suggesting that /watching what he offered to be watched/ was somehow inherently indecorous, as though to consume his content was an act of self-degradation... He shifted uncomfortably and tried to remember whether or not he would have agreed with his alternate back when he was human.

(Did it really matter? Wasn't it a succubus's duty to be a corruptive force? If gazing upon him made people a little dirtier, he was doing his job, right? He told himself that and tried to ignore how uneasy he felt in his skin.)

"It's less accurate to say succubi have etiquette around the topic and more accurate to say they have a near complete lack of barriers or standards. The mere fact I prefer not to cuss on air marks me out as queerly prudish." A rueful laugh. "No harm, no foul."

killstreaming

Good golly, Alexa, how do you eat when you’ve got your foot in your mouth so frequently? And he doesn’t even know this time! He’d intended to strictly critique /himself/, but it did imply something about the person offering, didn’t it? To make matters worse, he was taking Buck’s silence as judgment for being prudish about the matter.

Aaand then he wasn’t. Good, okay, they were fine, he really had to stop getting in his own head. “So you’re telling me it’s absolutely /lawless/ out there!” Dramatic hands to his cheeks. “Humans aren’t that much different -- they find me prudish for it as well. Anyway, my interactions with succubi have been largely business to this point, so I have much to learn about social norms.” There, a shield in case he shows his ass in the future.

concubuck

"Oh, succubi don't have much in the way of social norms worth learning." Which was probably a grave disservice to succubi for him to say, but he wasn't currently feeling very charitable to his own state of existence. "I interact with humans to interact with humans. Don't let me get out of line."

killstreaming

“Right, well.” And /that/ conversational door had been shut in his face. His smile thinned into a tight V. “Understood. Call me out if I’m out of line as well.” (He’d like to think his excuse is that he’s barely resocialized, but he doesn’t think it holds much water.)

concubuck

"I doubt you will be, but—yes. Of course."

He realized, a bit too late, that he'd come across as more dismissive than he'd intended to. He ought to offer /something/ more. "The thing is just that there is, as far as I can tell, nothing taboo to say among succubi. If a complete stranger says 'hi, how are you' and the other replies 'I caught something from this b##### and now my c### itches like a mother####er," of the two, the only one that said something surprising is the one who asked how the other is. So, there's—there's very little that /can/ be said wrong. Actions, /physical/ actions, can cross the line, but words are weightless. Almost meaningless, even."

killstreaming

“I-- pfft.” Buck’s sample of succubus dialogue threw Alexa off for a bit, he hadn’t been expecting that. Okay, give him a second, maybe you can hear him stifle another laugh.

“Really! No boundaries around oversharing whatsoever! Fascinating, and oddly reassuring! It’s not even that lax on hotel grounds!” And, well, Buck had gotten a glimpse of how wild those could get. “Look --all cards on the table, right?-- people think they can talk to my husband every which way because of his profession. Forgive me if I kick myself too easily over doing the same; it’s not a critique of succubus standards.”

concubuck

"Very few boundaries, at any rate. Personally, I think their could stand to be a few more. But when you're walking down the street, some oversexed pedestrian says 'hey there succuc###, wanna s### off my c###?' and you find yourself thinking 'do I have enough time for that?' instead of the more reasonable 'should I decapitate him or just give him a swift kick,' well... At that point you have to concede that the standards you think you should have and the standards you actually have no longer overlap, don't you?"

Which was a far more horrifying thing than he'd intended to admit. So he hurried on, "So—anyway, I appreciate the gentlemanly inclination; but don't beat yourself up too much over a comment that didn't even faze me, won't you? I'd hate for my own alternate to suffer needlessly on my behalf!"

killstreaming

Alexa wasn’t /judging/ Buck -- by what standards does one judge an entire other species & their cultural norms? it is what it is, -- but the divide between them was beginning to feel a bit more /present/. And did he want to hear about an acquaintance contemplating blowing a pedestrian? Not really, but he’d chalk it up to aforementioned cultural norm. He laughed to shake it off, and hoped it didn’t come out too awkward.

“Alright, alright, fair enough! Point taken. Don’t worry about me, then. And /you/ don’t beat yourself up either, alright? I don’t have much reassurance to offer other than that it takes a /lot/ to genuinely offend me, and I’d like to think I’m charitable regarding cultural differences.” He fidgeted, hoping he hadn’t said anything wrong. “I mean, because I /would/ like to keep getting to know you.” Did that sound like a come-on? If that came off like a come-on, he’d eat his whole foot. (The other one, the one he /hasn’t/ already stuck in his mouth.)

concubuck

It kind of did sound like a come on. But of the two Alastors who had watched his video, this was the one who HADN'T offered to fist him, and on top of that Buck didn't WANT it to be a come on, so he was going to take it on faith that it wasn't. "And I'd certainly like to keep getting to know you!" ... He hoped THAT didn't sound like a come on. "Ideally with less amateur pornography this time around."

killstreaming

Alexa almost made that stupid joke about waiting until the second date for that sort of thing (third if he's feeling REALLY old-fashioned), but no. Buck wasn't /in/ on the fact that Alexa was resigned from dating altogether. /That/ would be taken as a come-on.

"Ha! Sure, fair, sounds good. Now, I don't know how you feel about coffee, but if you'd ever like to meet for a cup, offer's on the table." Just whenever was good. (Something something morning afters are only awkward if you make them awkward, let me be a gentleman and handle breakfast -- it made more sense in his head. It was funny in his head. But really, a friendly coffee chat sometime would be nice.)

concubuck

"I'm practically powered by the stuff! Coffee sometime sounds delightful." And then, just because that really did sound like it could be a date, he added, "And since you're a married man, I'm going to trust that it's /only/ going to be coffee!" Little lighthearted joke—what's a marriage worth in hell with a succubus around?—but by God, he was determined to meet ONE alternate in person and keep it platonic.

killstreaming

"Good, that seems to be one thing we all have in common!" Coffee fiends, the herd of them.

This was probably /not/ the time to 'actually, it's an open marriage', oh well, Buck was just going to have to get blindsided next time Alexa wilded on voxblr. "Haha! Yes, yes, that's all, just a friendly chat over coffee. Unless the bakery items catch my eye -- then it's over coffee /and/ a croissant." Scandalous. Hey, some of those places made a mean pain au chocolat.

concubuck

"Well, who am I to say no to a croissant!" Okay, this was okay, they'd navigated this mess successfully and were coming out of it on the same page. Hah. Good. Good job, team.

killstreaming

"Aha! I’ll be looking forward to it. Just reach out whenever's good.” Well done, everyone. Crisis very much averted! The deersasters are going to be okay.

#furbyorganist #killstreaming #chat log

[takonei]

Beta AU - Main story, Chapter 6, Investigation (Part 1)

Note of the author: Guess who’s baaaack? ;) Boy have I been waiting for this chapter.

Chapter 6: My killing game, our killing game

...

A young boy wanders in the cafeteria, a rather tasty-looking meal on his plate.

He spots the two other people present and approaches them.

"C-Can I sit here?"

The girl was mindlessly picking the vegetables on her plate with a fork, head resting in her palm. "Suit yourself."

The silence immediately settled back.

It's not like there was anything to say. What was the point of talking anyway?

... He doesn't know how much time passed before he heard the sound of footsteps behind him.

The person didn't even ask before sitting next to them.

He had seen him back then, so his face was not so unfamiliar.

The other guy stared at him curiously, then raised his head.

"... I feel like I've seen you somewhere before." he said. "Not that it really matters anymore."

The new guy rolled his eyes. "Yes, I killed someone a year ago and my face was plastered on every single newspaper for two weeks. Big deal."

The girl raised an eyebrow. "Shouldn't you be... you know... in prison?"

"It was a pain making my way out here, but I'm used to orchestrating mastermind-ish plans. It's a must-have in this world."

"I see..."

Leaning back into his chair, the supposed murderer glanced at the other side of the cafeteria, where two other people were discussing, far away from them. A rather frail-looking boy and a strong-looking young woman. He narrowed his eyes at them, like a predator analyzing its prey.

But the silence was rather cut short as the sound of a breaking plate was heard, accompanied by a person stumbling on the ground, now covered in food.

A man was standing next to the victim, clearly the one responsible for the incident. "Watch where you're going, skeleton."

The smaller girl looked like she wanted to cry, trying to retrieve what she could with difficulty.

He swore he saw a smirk forming on the killer's face before turning back to look at the scene. "Hey, jackass. Try to get a better adversary next time, would you? You look pathetic bullying someone half your size, just saying."

"What did you say?!"

"How about you try and fight mademoiselle over here instead?" he glanced at the tall woman in the back. "Unless you're scared of getting your ass handed to you by a girl."

"I'll fucking show you-!"

"ENOUGH!!"

Everyone turned to the source of the voice.

Just their presence was enough to make everyone on edge, but their wrath was feared by all. Like a god among men, a single misstep around them was enough to put your life and dignity on the line.

And they were not here to play poker.

"You two better not cause any more trouble. I could snap my fingers and you two would become cannon fodder for them. You wouldn't want that for yourself, would you?"

The two's gazes met. The tall man's eyes were full of rage, but the other was not letting any emotion slip out. Perhaps one could see annoyance with a hint of pride, if they were perceptive enough.

But both knew their place. It was wiser not to respond.

"... That's what I thought. Because you are here does not mean you are safe yet, remember that."

Silence settled back in the cafeteria, but the dread did not fade away.

But they were here now, and there was no going back.

Not now, not ever.

 ...

 --

 ...

The stars were illuminating the night sky as always, giving the academy a semblance of light in the darkness.

Although that is only a lie Shuichi told himself to feel more human, even though he would never admit it out loud.

An artificial sky looming over an academy of students with fake memories and pasts.

His sense of reality was decaying over time. If he really took a moment to think for himself, he would probably feel his mind falling apart. Nothing but a structure of lies that unconsciously kept him sane, slowly crumbling into ruins.

After watching Rantaro's video and learning the truth about his intentions and his wretched success, they had left the building.

Miu stopped in her tracks. Her eyes wide, she had been staring at the ground the entire time.

"This is... This is so wrong..." she muttered.

Kaito put a hand on her shoulder. "At least... He succeeded in his own way."

The young woman immediately jerked away. "Succeeded?! Rantaro died! He killed himself and Ryoma for his plan and you're telling me he succeeded?!"

"I never said the way he did so wasn't completely fucked up!!" Kaito yelled back. "Hell, I don't even know why he considers it a success in the first place, I'm just quoting him!"

Shuichi didn't have the courage to look at them in the eyes, but spoke anyway. "He said it would kill Monokuma's will to continue the game, but... Is this really true?"

"Who the fuck cares about that?!" tears formed in Miu's eyes. "Why did he think that killing himself was something that would truly end the game?!"

Kokichi didn't even try to say anything. He could only stare at the argument.

"We don't know what Monokuma is planning to do now, he could put us through another time limit for all we know!!" Miu continued rambling. "Monokuma wants to make us suffer no matter what, why did he think he would stop after that?!"

"I don't fucking know!!" Kaito could only try to keep up. It's not like the others could. "I don't know what went through Rantaro's head nor what led him to believe that this would be a brilliant plan!"

"I don't think trying to understand his thought process would lead us somewhere."

Shuichi jumped at the voice.

Kirumi was staring at the ground. She looked... distressed.

"He was too far gone. There's something in his eyes that felt unnatural."

"Something, dare I say... not even human. I cannot describe it, but it's not an emotion you would ever want to see in someone."

The violinist felt his heart sting. He had seen it, too. The two were the ones who witnessed the most of him. Not the facade of the leader who fought no matter what, but the vulnerable him. The real him.

But Miu lost even more of her temper than she already had. She approached Kirumi and grabbed her by the strands of her corset. "Rantaro was our friend!! And you're saying he doesn't even deserve to be called 'human'?!"

Shuichi tried to step in. "That's not what she meant! Miu, please! We're all-

"Am I the only one who even remotely cared about him?!"

She slammed a hand to her chest. Her voice was cracking, and tears were now yet again flowing from her eyes.

"You're all yelling about how there was no hope in Rantaro, that he wasn't even human in your eyes!! You're all claiming to like him but can't even show him respect after he's dead!!"

"How did I even bring myself to befriend any of you monsters?!"

Shuichi felt himself stiffen.

There's a part of him that knew Miu meant her words.

He quickly realized he was not the only one who froze.

Everyone was silently staring at her.

The artist stared back, slowly realizing what she had just said. She slammed her hands on her mouth. "I..."

"It's fine."

Shuichi immediately looked at Kokichi.

"You don't need to say anything. I... I know I must have said way worse back then."

She glanced away. "You... You were just grieving."

"And so are you!" he exclaimed. "You said it to me back in my lab! We all should take the time to grieve! Why would you be an exception to this?!"

She stared at him with dumbfounded eyes.

“Please... I don’t want you to lament in despair like I did and I... I don’t want you to go through the pain I experienced.” Kokichi muttered.

“I don’t want anyone else to go through this ever again.”

His voice was low, like each of his words was difficult to speak out.

Her eyes met the ground, hoping to hide her tears just a little.

"Miu..."

Kaito took a step forward. "We've all been assholes to each other at some point or another, and me more than anyone else."

“Perhaps I’m just projecting, but... I know you had faith in me when I was at my worst, so it’s only fair I have faith in you when you are at your worst.”

The young woman sniffled. "I'm sorry, it’s just... Rantaro isn't..."

"No. Rantaro was not a monster." Kirumi spoke, eyes closed. "What I do believe is that the game had much more impact on him than he let us know. Things he hid from us for our sake. This closure must have led him to believe he had to go to extremes to help us, and thus orchestrated this... ‘case’, if we can even call it that way."

"We should have been more careful about him. But now is too late to lament ourselves over our mistakes."

"I should have worded my thoughts differently, I apologize."

Shuichi felt his heart calm down, for some reason.

Kokichi nodded. "That's... the impression he gave to me, too..."

He could only agree.

Kaito continued looking at his friend, who seemed lost in thoughts. "Maybe we should settle for the night? We might be in a better state to-

"No." Miu raised her head. "We're not sitting here doing nothing."

The violinist's eyes widened. "Are you... planning on doing something?"

"Rantaro's goal was to end the game. And the only way to honor him is to put an end to this right here, right now."

"Tonight we discover the last truths of the killing game. We investigate about Keebo's death, what really happened to us and we expose the-

Miu was cut short by the sound of an explosion right above their heads- It was coming from the building itself.

"W-What's going on?!" Kokichi exclaimed.

"I don't know but we need to get out of here!" the girl yelled.

The group immediately started fleeing.

"I can't run for shit, idiots!" Kaito shouted.

Shuichi looked back. "Guys! We gotta help Kaito!"

Kirumi stared at him for a moment, then sighed. She wrapped one of her arms around his back as support and the two followed the rest of the group.

After getting to the dorms, they turned back to the main building, witnessing the destruction caused by an unknown force.

It seemed as though an exisal -the blue one from what he was seeing- started getting involved in the chaos, but...

"Why is everything exploding?!" Shuichi exclaimed. "Monokuma wouldn't do this, right? So who is destroying the building? Who is piloting the exisal?!"

There were only one of the deadly machines. Monokuma could be the one piloting it, but that didn't explain why he would do so.

"If Monokuma is using an exisal to stop the chaos, then... Who is destroying the building?" Kokichi asked.

They all turned to him.

The bear would not create that scene by himself. So who?

They were all here. It wasn't any of the five survivors.

But before they could ponder more, another exisal showed up. The green one.

The two mechas faced each other, and not even ten seconds later, the blue exisal was tossed across the courtyard.

They could only watch the scene unfold, bewildered by the sudden appearance of the machines.

Who? Who was fighting?

He glanced at Kirumi, who seemed to wonder the same.

But she suddenly perked up, becoming as pale as the fake moon above their heads.

He turned to her. "What is it?! Do you know who is in here?!"

The others faced her as well.

She stayed silent for a moment.

"... Where is Monodam?"

Shuichi blinked. "What- Monodam? But he's dead! Ryoma killed him!"

"Have any of you seen his dead body?"

The violinist's eyes widened. "Huh?"

"This is the number one rule any assassin or mercenary must follow, no matter what."

"If there is no dead body, there is no victim."

"So where is Monodam?"

Kokichi shook his head. "Are you suggesting he is alive?"

"Can you tell for sure he was dismantled by Ryoma? Have you seen his carcass in pieces?"

Miu frowned. "Didn't Rantaro say he took him apart?"

"Do you still believe anything Rantaro says when it comes to the plan in which he managed to deceive everyone, including Monokuma and his own partner?"

... She froze.

Shuichi looked at the green exisal that was approaching them.

The machine stopped, then bent down.

The top of the exisal opened. Something jumped and flawlessly landed on the ground.

A tiny dichromatic bear.

But...

Something wasn't right.

It wasn't the white and green bear they all expected to see.

Whatever was standing before them did have its right side white, but the left side was painted in a dark grey-blue color. Its hands were no more, replaced by small black and bright blue canons, and the pacifier had the same colors as them. Small blue pins were attached to its mechanical limbs, with tiny cables entering the body.

The belly, instead of being plain white, had a particular pattern on it. Two dark scissor blades surrounded by even more thin cables.

A symbol that was all too familiar to them now.

But what stood out the most was its right eye. It was hard to tell what even was stuck on it. The piece had been attached here artificially, cables going around the head to keep it in place.

The blue parts were slightly glowing, somehow giving an eery feeling to the robot.

The new bear took a few steps forward.

They could only stare at him with wide eyes. What was he even going to do?

"5-OUT-OF-6. SOMEONE-IS-MISSING."

Missing? Everyone was here, though...

The bear made a strange noise as the others glanced at each other.

"MISSING-PERSON: RANTARO-AMAMI. PLAYING-'INTRODUCTION'."

His eye started glowing green, and 'Monodam' started talking again.

"Hey."

They all recognized that voice instantly.

Ryoma...?

The man sighed. "I really didn't want to record this part. But I had to keep in mind the possibility that this plan would fail. That Rantaro would get executed."

If only he knew...

"If you haven't guessed it already, no, I didn't kill Monodam. The hacking gun only knocked him out. All I did was repair and modify him to act as I wanted. It was tough, but manageable. What you're looking at is the project I have worked on for the past two days."

"Meet Monoshi. An upgraded version of Monodam specifically made to end the game after the trial, whether both of us died or just me. But if this introduction is playing, then that means things didn't go as planned."

"Have you guys watched the videos about Monodam's faked death and my real cause of death?"

The light in his right eye changed to a bright yellow. Was he waiting for them to answer?

"Yes, we did..." Shuichi replied.

"PLAYING-'INTRODUCTION-3'." the bear spoke again, his eye gaining back its green color.

"Good. Then you must have realized this trial was incredibly unfair for the both of us. But I'm not here to talk about that. Pretty sure Rantaro did that already, and if he missed any details, I have noted the important stuff in my lab for you guys just in case."

"As Tsumugi said in her notebook, you guys have to investigate Keebo's death. Now is the perfect opportunity to put an end to this game once and for all."

'Monoshi' approached Kaito and extended its hand to him. The mechanism opened to reveal a green key.

"Kaito. I heard from Rantaro that you wanted to pilot the exisals." he said as the biker's eyes widened. "I am giving you the key to the green one. I don't think it should be that hard to control considering those fingerless bears are able to do so. Do your best."

"Monoshi will take care of opening secret passages and entrances that are not accessible right now. Monodam knew what places are left to visit, so Monoshi does as well. Although for that, bombs will be used so make sure to get out of the way when needed."

"Kaito, you and Monoshi will have to keep Monokuma busy long enough for the others to complete the investigation."

The bombs...

Shuichi felt like he should have expected that, for some reason.

The robot turned to the blonde woman. "Miu."

"To be honest, I cannot exactly pinpoint why, but Rantaro seemed to trust you more than anyone else if we exclude me. He asked me to give you the task to lead the group for the investigation in case things didn't work out for him."

The street artist jumped.

"Huh?" she muttered, surprised by his words. But the robot didn't seem to register that.

"In short- Monoshi will unlock the secret entrances, he and Kaito will distract Monokuma and the rest of you will investigate everything you possibly can."

Shuichi nodded.

But his heart suddenly stopped when he heard a crash from behind them.

Monokuma came back with not one, but the four other exisals.

"My, my! My sweet Monodam, already an angsty teenager going through a rebellious phase... But to want to kill your own father? Puhuhu! That is not something I expected from the most tender and affectionate kid of mine!"

"But you see, with the joy of modern technology, your wonderful brothers and sisters could cross the boundary of life and death once again and come back to our marvelous and colorful world!"

"Do you seriously think you could steal *my* exisals for *your* goals? Puhuhu! These two had a great sense of humor!"

Monoshi's eye turned blue for a moment.

"VOICE-RECOGNIZED: MONOKUMA. PLAYING-'GREETINGS'."

As the eye turned green, the modified robot spoke again.

"Hey there. Knew you were going to try and stop this. But do you seriously think you're gonna win?"

"Rantaro and I have prepared a lot more than you could possibly imagine. You and this entire academy are going down whether you like it or not."

Monokuma laughed. "Puhuhu! I must admit I am impressed! To trick me into thinking my precious monokub was dead when in reality, he was rebelling against me? Such despair!"

"But you're forgetting that *I* am the headmaster of the academy and the one managing the killing game!"

"This little tamper tantrum is over!"

...

Monoshi stayed silent for what felt like an eternity. And then-

His eye glowed red.

"HOSTILITY-RECOGNIZED. PROCEED-TO-EXTERMINATION."

"What-

The bear pointed his canon at Monokuma and immediately started firing. Their captor dodged, but the group now had to get out of this conflict and fast if they didn't want to die because of collateral damage.

The exisals started shooting missiles at Monoshi as well, but he was just as agile. Their battle quickly moved away from them, the bears chasing each other in the courtyard. The scene looked unreal.

"Now's our chance!" Miu exclaimed. "Kaito! You think you can pilot the exisal?"

The biker smirked. "I've been waiting for this. But before that, you guys stay safe, alright? I know you can do this. Go and investigate without me, I'll only slow you down."

Shuichi nodded. "Count on us, Kaito!"

"Also..."

He approached Miu, and suddenly held her in his arms. The girl was surprised, but she did not push him away. After a few seconds, he took a step back and put his hands on her shoulders. "I know you can lead this group to our freedom. I better see you alive at the end. Alright?"

"I better see you alive at the end! But I promise."

She turned to the rest of them.

"Let's end this everyone! Tonight, we're ending this killing game once and for all!"

The tone in her voice warmed his heart. This strength, this emotion... He had seen it before.

It was reminiscent of the old Rantaro they had known at the beginning of the game.

A great leader guiding them to victory.

Kaito climbed into the exisal, using the key Monoshi had given him.

The mecha stood up.

"LET'S FUCKING GO!!"

The machine jumped towards the fight between the robotic bears.

This was it.

Their chance to fight back and win.

The investigation they all had been waiting to do finally started.

...

Kokichi spoke up. "How do we even start?"

Miu hummed. "Kirumi, no offense but you're the one who should know the most about how to get away with murder... How would you proceed to cover the evidence?"

"None taken." The woman pondered. "But investigating Keebo's death will be extremely difficult, and it is not the only thing we need to investigate. Monoshi talked about secret rooms as well."

"We need to know everything about this killing game."

"Good point." the artist replied. "Keebo's death was long ago and essential evidence might have disappeared since then."

She was right. The killer- the mastermind must have cleaned up after themselves. Was it even possible to solve this case now?

"For now, Kaito and Monoshi are keeping the monokubs busy, so the rooms might be opened later. We should focus on what we can investigate." Kirumi continued.

"How about groups of two? We might be able to cover more ground this way." Shuichi suggested.

"I already know I am headed to the fifth floor for Ryoma's notes, so whoever comes with me, please make up your mind fast." the mercenary raised a hand.

"Can I leave this to you, Shuichi?" Miu asked. "Kokichi and I will go to the exisal hangar to see if we can recover anything."

The violinist nodded. "Sounds good!" he turned to Kirumi. "Shall we go?"

The groups separated. His partner was fast, but she often checked to see if he was following.

And true to her words, the duo went to the fifth floor. To Ryoma's lab.

The doors had been destroyed, supposedly by Monoshi when he made his way out.

"Do you think there is something else we can get here?" Shuichi asked.

She entered the lab. "That's what we'll find out. I wouldn't be surprised if they somehow had another trick in their sleeves, even though both of them are dead now."

It was hard not to be impressed by their genius. Kiyo and Tsumugi might have tried to help from beyond the grave with their notebooks, but Ryoma and Rantaro were on a whole other level, and are still actively helping them.

Some boxes looked intact, but some had been completely destroyed and seemed to have exploded from the inside. The two started walking towards the back of the lab, but before they could do so, they noticed a box that stood out from the rest.

It was burned in the shape of an X, and judging from the way it looked, someone had done that on purpose.

However, it was easy to tell who did the damage.

Kirumi didn't wait and immediately climbed on the box. Monoshi, or rather Ryoma must have wanted them to find what was inside. Perhaps it was the notebook?

"The lock was destroyed. I'll see what I can find in there." she said.

"Alright..." Shuichi muttered. Out of nervousness, he kept going through the lab to see if anything else was worth investigating.

He did notice another box that was partially exploded, with nothing interesting inside. The lock didn't seem to have been destroyed, though.

Was this the box Monoshi was kept in?

The back of the lab, despite what Shuichi first thought, hadn't changed at all. Everything was the same as it was during their last visit earlier.

"I found the notebook."

The violinist jumped at Kirumi's sudden appearance. "Really?"

The two approached the source of light.

"Did you find anything else?" she asked as she opened the book.

He shook his head. "I mean, I found the box Monoshi might have been kept in, but nothing worth our attention."

Kirumi hummed as she read the first page. "... This indeed seems to be a recap of everything they have discovered. The summary states that this was made in case Rantaro didn't have time to tell us everything, just like Monoshi said."

"I see..." Shuichi muttered. They took a considerable amount of precautions- although the two were never on the same page in the first place.

"The flashback lights, the cameras, ending the killing game... Hm?"

Shuichi blinked. "What is it?"

"There is a chapter called 'The mastermind's goals.' I don't think Rantaro explained anything about this."

"Let me see!"

Kirumi put the book on the workspace.

--

Entry n°4

Don't expect me to know about the reasons why this game was created, I don't know. Neither of us do and it's for you guys to find out. At first, we did ask ourselves why, but it became clear pretty quickly that the 'why' was unimportant.

This is about the motives given to us. We didn't think much about that compared to other stuff so don't expect clear explanations. Those are just Rantaro and I's theories so take this with a grain of salt.

The first motive: the time limit and the first blood perk, were obviously to start the game by all means necessary. I don't know what else to say. Easy way to start things with someone obviously falling for this shit. Fantastic.

The second, we're not sure. That might have been to expose some of our secrets, like Kirumi's talent. The tablets were obviously switched intentionally. There's no way the only two tablets that didn't reach their owners coincidentally happened to be those of the one who hid her talent and someone who was likely to watch their video. In other words, it was to reveal stuff that we would have never guessed if not for Monokuma's 'help'. The accomplice perk was made to turn our cooperation against us. To dissuade us to work together, make sure we all become paranoid and break us mentally. Not difficult to understand.

The third is incomprehensible to me. By that, I mean the 'how'. Why would I turn into a coward? I don't know if I was kidnapped again or some shit, but whoever was with them wasn't me. But anyway, the mastermind obviously wanted to eliminate temporarily the smart people (Tsumugi, Rantaro and I) to do their little scheme in peace, which was Keebo's murder.

The fourth may have been to expose our last secrets like Kaito's leg, Kokichi's trauma, Kirumi's condition, and as Rantaro said, manipulate Kiyo into killing Tsumugi by putting more and more pressure on him.

The fifth motive doesn't make any damn sense. I know he blackmailed Kiyo to make the trial last longer to extend a new time limit, but he could have ditched it after his death for despair or some other stupid excuse. Although with the circumstances,  I can see why he would put a second time limit. But offering equipment to explore the outside world? He could have shut his mouth and nothing would have changed. Fucking idiot. He should know better by now.

Anyway, this is the least important part and the one we're the less certain about, but those were the most solid theories we had.

--

Shuichi blinked, clearly not expecting the tone in the soldier's writing. "That's... Interesting..."

However, he quickly noticed something. "Wait, you told Ryoma about your condition?"

She shook her head. "I didn't. But I believe Rantaro must have told him."

"What is done, is done. Everyone knows now, and I do not think it is useful to hide it anymore."

Those two exchanged everything they knew, so it was not surprising, actually.

The woman sighed. "A part of me thought that the 'tablet switch mistake' for the second motive was intentional, but I see that I was not the only one who got to this conclusion."

He winced.

"Although what makes me worried is the third motive." she said. "Kidnapped and replaced by some sort of clone temporarily?"

He hummed. "But... Ryoma said he wasn't sure... Can we really trust this?"

After a short pause, Kirumi closed the book. "Probably not. But we should keep this in mind."

Obtained truth bullet! Killing game motives

"Is there anything else worth reading in this?" Shuichi asked.

His partner reopened the book, and that's when the two noticed the last part of the summary. 

1. Flashback lights 2. Cameras 3. Ending the killing game 4. The mastermind's goals 5. Monoshi 6. Stuff

"Stuff?" Shuichi frowned. "That sounds odd..."

Kirumi quickly turned the pages.

--

Entry n°6

I don't care if the person reading this is Rantaro or not. I'll be dead by the time anyone finds this anyway, and perhaps you are now dead too, boss. So I'm just going to assume someone else is reading.

I don't know why, but it feels like Rantaro is still hiding things. That he never shared certain details with me. I always told him everything I knew, I grew to know him and his habits more than anyone else here. I always somehow managed to get him to speak to me truthfully up until... I would say the 4th trial.

Ever since then, things have changed, somehow. He's been suggesting solid theories more than ever, but at the same time, he seems to be hiding even more information from me.

There is something he knows that I don't. I never got him to speak the truth and it's frustrating as hell.

We're supposed to be damn soldiers, the smartest and the strongest of the group, and our job is to help everyone escape. Why is he withholding information from me?

In any case, I'm extremely worried. I will keep the stoic face because it's easier for me to manage, but at this point I know I cannot do anything anymore and I have accepted it.  It's probably too late now, but I wanted to write this somewhere. One could count this as venting, I guess.

Good luck in ending the game, I hope you guys will make it out alive, for our sake.

Sincerely, Ryoma Hoshi.

--

Shuichi glanced away from the book. "Do you think... He knew Rantaro had planned to die from the beginning?"

Kirumi stared at the text. "I don't think so."

She closed the notebook and gave it to him. "I am more inclined to think he told Ryoma just the right amount of information for him to cooperate with his plan without any sort of hesitation. He didn't tell him things that could hurt his feelings and make him unwilling to act, or realize the mission could be pointless."

The violinist winced. "That's kind of harsh, don't you think? Rantaro... I understand he might have hidden things from Ryoma but... He wasn't a heartless manipulator, was he?"

The mercenary stayed silent for a moment.

"What would you have done in Ryoma's position if you knew nothing was real?"

He paused. That was not a question he expected to hear.

"If you knew your entire life didn't matter, that everything you had done up until now was nothing but meaningless lies, would you have accepted to sacrifice your life for everyone?"

"I-I..." Shuichi stuttered. How could he even answer that?

"Both Ryoma and Rantaro were devoted soldiers. Even after discovering all of his memories could have been faked, Rantaro continued. He went through this plan and sacrificed himself and Ryoma for us. But what about Ryoma? Would he have followed him, knowing this sacrifice could be pointless, or just not for him to do?"

...

Shuichi stared at the ground. "This is..." he looked up to the young woman, hoping to find answers. "W-What do you mean?"

The silence as Kirumi seemed to be choosing her words was almost eerie.

"... This dilemma is what I have supposedly been living for a long time. I didn't have the full details of my missions. Perhaps the target was a good person, but I was told they were vile and needed to be eliminated. The less you are told, the less likely you are to rebel or regret your actions afterwards."

"So you obey, murder, and move onto the next target without asking yourself any questions."

She turned her back, facing the exit.

"With what Rantaro told us after the vote, those philosophies are starting to lose meaning. Perhaps it is time for me to reconstruct my beliefs, and find out who I really am."

"I should be glad there is a possibility I am not the killer of numerous innocents, but somehow, I am not."

"The unknown has always been humanity's greatest fear, as they say."

Without another word, she slowly made her way towards the entrance.

Shuichi could only stare.

... Perhaps it was indeed the time to start questioning what he truly believes in.

Obtained truth bullet! Unknown memories

The two left the lab since there was nothing else to see.

But the moment they stepped on the stairs, the building started trembling, like something was happening above the fifth floor.

"What's going on?!" Shuichi turned to Kirumi.

"It looks like either the rooftop or Himiko's lab has been damaged. We need to go now."

The two ran as fast as they could.

They reached the first floor and spotted Miu and Kokichi.

"Monoshi has opened something in Himiko's lab!" Miu exclaimed. "I don't know what it is, but that's what he told us before going back to help Kaito."

"But we also need to investigate the rest of the building for evidence about Keebo's case..." Kokichi said.

"Then Kokichi and I will investigate the building itself while you two go to the lab." Kirumi suggested.

"There's no time to waste! Shuichi, let's go!" the street artist immediately made her way to the black and white door, the violinist following her.

He had forgotten how long those stairs were, but this wasn't the time to complain.

The star-patterned door opened, and the two immediately spotted two gaping holes in the lab. One giving a direct view of the fight between Kaito and the bears in the courtyard, and another leading into a strange white room in the back of the lab.

They entered and saw sixteen cabins attached to powerful-looking machines.

"What the hell are these?!" Miu approached one of them. "And why do they feel... familiar?"

She stepped inside. Only one person could fit in these. But before she knew it, the thing shut, trapping her in. "Hey! Let me out!"

Shuichi panicked. "Miu!"

He inspected the machine, but it seemed nothing was of use. His eyes darted on all sides of the room and then found a red button in the back.

Emergency shutdown system Do not press if the person inside is not in immediate danger.

The violinist did not think and immediately slammed the button.

The cabin Miu was in immediately opened, letting out some steam.

The girl stumbled out of it, a hand on her forehead. "Ugh..."

Shuichi went by her side to support her. "Are you okay?"

She rubbed her eyes. "I... I don't know, but..."

"I remember."

Shuichi's eyes widened. "Remember what?"

She glanced around the room. "We were here... We were trapped in those... I don't know for how much time but we were here at some point..."

He frowned. "For the Gofer project?"

"Yes! But... Is it, really? Rantaro and Ryoma confirmed the Gofer project was a lie, so... Why?"

Vague memories resurfaced in Shuichi's mind. He had been in this room, once. But now he wasn't so sure.

Were other people with him? Familiar faces?

Nothing was clear, and all the memories felt like they were drowned in a sea of white noise.

"I mean, I do remember being here and... I think I do remember seeing you guys but everything is so fuzzy..." she said, before gripping her head. "Ugh. My head hurts."

Obtained truth bullet! Familiar cabins

Shuichi narrowed his eyes. "Perhaps we should think about it later... There are so many places we need to explore."

He glanced at the file on the table near them. "Perhaps this could help us?"

The two approached the papers and started reading them.

It seemed to be some sort of summary.

Gofer Project Participant List

- Akamatsu Kaede - Amami Rantaro - Chabashira Tenko - Gokuhara Gonta - Harukawa Maki - Hoshi Ryoma - Idabashi Tatsuya - Iruma Miu - Momota Kaito - Ouma Kokichi - Saihara Shuichi - Shinguji Korekiyo - Shirogane Tsumugi - Tojo Kirumi - Yonaga Angie - Yumeno Himiko

Miu frowned. "Who the fuck is Tatsuya Idabashi?!"

Shuichi was just as confused. "And why isn't Keebo on this list? He was one of us!"

The two glanced at each other, trying to apprehend what was in front of them.

"... And here I thought we were looking for answers."

"Now we just have more questions."

"Great."

Obtained truth bullet! Gofer project participant list

Miu paused for a moment. "Hold on."

Shuichi pondered as well. The list looked a bit too odd for his liking.

The girl stared at the unknown name for a moment. "Do you think... This guy is the person we're looking for?"

"You know, the mastermind?"

Shuichi jumped. They had theorized the mastermind was not actually someone in the survivor group because Kiyo had not been suspicious of any of them, no matter how much he studied them.

That added to the fact that Kokichi's karma never seemed to have hit them despite all of the horrible things they had done.

But somehow, this felt... wrong.

Even after all this time, he was still praying that the mastermind was not any of his friends. And yet when an unknown name magically shows up and could solve all of his problems, he couldn't bring himself to assume the worst of them.

"I don't think we should automatically assume that... We don't even know who he is."

"But think about it, Shuichi!" Miu exclaimed. "Someone who didn't participate in the killing game with us, who is probably hiding somewhere in the academy! Someone we've never heard of before now, that's him for sure!"

"We don't know that yet! Monokuma could have just added that name on the list to throw us off for all we know!"

Miu paused. "That's..." she frowned, pondering to herself for a moment. "... not actually impossible."

She flipped the pages to see the mysterious person.

A black and white picture was provided, but they did not recognize this face.

The boy had little to no hair and looked rather scrawny and weak. He almost looked younger than them.

--

Tatsuya Idabashi - Ultimate robotics engineer

Day of birth: 29/10 Gender: Male

Height: 168 cm Weight: 55kg Blood type: O

Family: None

Value: Essential Role: Ensuring the safety of the structure itself by doing regular check-ups, as well as educating the rest of the group about his skills to ensure a safer journey. Will also be maintaining the exisals in check.

Status: Dead

--

Shuichi stared at the profile with concern. "What? He's... dead?"

Miu shook her head. "I don't even know what I expected, but dead...?"

He hummed. "If this profile was made before the game, then there's no way he is the mastermind..."

"Didn't you say we couldn't trust anything Monokuma gives us like two minutes ago?"

Fair.

"But still... I don't think this profile comes out of nowhere."

Miu sighed. "We better find new info because whoever the fuck this guy is, I do not trust him."

He didn't either, but it was too early to assume things.

Obtained truth bullet! Tatsuya Idabashi

They looked around the room, but nothing else was worth inspecting.

"Let's not waste any more time here, the others need us to investigate the rest of the academy." Miu started making her way out.

After going down the stairs -which was still a long way- they walked to the second floor. They quickly met Kirumi and Kokichi investigating the labs as much as they could.

"So? Anything new?" Kirumi asked.

"It's very weird, not gonna lie." Miu replied, blinking. "But for now we should keep investigating, I don't know how much longer Kaito and Monoshi will be able to hold back Monokuma and the monokubs."

Shuichi nodded. "How about you guys?"

"Check your monopads. Kokichi and I managed to unlock the previous files and clues we got from the third investigation, although it's not much." Kirumi explained.

"Sweet!" Miu smiled, taking out the tablet.

And true to their words, the file was available, and it looked exactly the same as the one they had back then.

Monokuma file #3 -updated-

The second victim is Keebo, the ultimate ???

The body was discovered in the entrance hall.

The estimated time of death is 8:00 AM.

The cause of death is unknown.

No injuries were noted in the victim’s body.

Obtained truth bullet! Monokuma file #3

"We're trying to find new clues, but... For now, we got next to nothing..." Kokichi muttered.

Shuichi hummed. "Maybe we should switch partners? Perhaps we'll get a fresh view of the case."

Miu clicked her tongue. "Gotcha." she turned to the mercenary. "Kirumi? Wanna continue with me?"

She nodded. "Of course. Let's go."

The two girls confidently headed further into the corridors. Somehow Shuichi could sense a powerful aura coming from these two.

"So... Where are we headed?" Kokichi took him out of his thoughts.

Shuichi put a finger on his chin, humming. "Where did you guys investigate?"

"Mainly the first and second floor... We might need to cover the basement, though."

He nodded. "Then let's go!"

The duo headed back to the first floor, but immediately after stepping in the main entrance, they stopped in their tracks.

One of the machines outside shot the main door and provoked a large explosion right in front of their faces.

The two coughed as the smoke dissipated. They noticed Monoshi, standing right outside the door, a cannon aimed at the floor.

That's only then that they realized there was a large hole almost right in front of their feet.

Shuichi approached the damage and realized there were stairs leading underground. "What on earth...?"

Monoshi stared at them with his glowing mechanical blue eye. "SECRET-ENTRANCE-UNLOCKED: UNDERGROUND-PASSAGEWAY. ONE-SECRET-ENTRANCE-REMAINING."

The bear immediately stormed off.

Kokichi and Shuichi stared at each other before looking down. "Is this where we're headed now?"

The corridor looked devoid of light, the darkness of the night not helping at all. He could see iron grids and cables, which gave him the impression that this was made as a last-minute addition.

The violinist took a step forward. "We have no choice. There must be answers waiting for us down here."

Kokichi nodded.

The two boys headed down. Hopefully, they would find the solutions to the problems that the investigation itself made them aware of, as well as the truth of Keebo's death.

"It's our goal to seek the truth and we have no time to waste."

#ndrv3 #danganronpa v3 #ndrv3 au #beta au #main story

[itriedtobakeandcook]

Hi!

Well, last night on TV the movie Julie & Julia (2009) was played. It isn't the first time I watch it, maybe I’ve watched it for 5 times (?), but never really finished it. Don’t know why tho I never finished it, BUT last night I forced myself to stay put and for once watch the movie till finished.

Anyone who have watched the movie knows what is all about. I really love Julia Child, and she’s the first person among all renowned chef that I really (truly) learned from. By watching videos on YouTube, watching others remaking her recipes, and one of them was watching the movie Julie & Julia. Well although the movie had a bad rep, I still quite enjoy it tho.

I found my love of cooking and baking since high school. I used to make my own muffin for my lunch every now and then. Since then, I occasionally bake and cooks but only the easy stuff. I never put all my attention to it, first because I have an extraordinaire cook in my household, second my second brother majored in cooking arts, and to top it all my youngest brother is an excellent-self taught cook, and who ever want to be compared to them? No one. No. One.

Fast forward through college, I experienced a lot. Like a lot. I travel to many places, gaining and losing weight (and gaining again), basically getting out of my comfort zone. I have my ups and downs, experiencing anxiety attack and depression. But what gets me trough, even though this is very very very very cliché, is cooking and baking (and support from my bf). So, after I graduated college, I always wonder what I want to do with my life.

I want to travel, I want to have a restaurant or any other f&b business, I want to be a #girlboss. That's what I wanted.

gosh, I rambled so much. Okay. Focus.

So yes, basically I watched the movie Julie & Julia, and inspired to “take on the challenge” (yeah, yippee, hooray). I'm going to finished one cookbook for 6 month, cooking and baking every day. It is going to be expensive, exhausting, and crazy!!!

Wish Me Luck

And so the journey begins…

#cooking #baking #trying #experience #julia child #julie & julia #lunatic #indonesia #cookbook

[k-writer1998]

Black, White, Grey (2/3)

Having Bang Chan as your best friend is great cause he’s literally the best but not so much when you’ve had a crush on him for a majority of the friendship.

Angst

w.c: 2.2k

Part 1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Shoot! I’m going to be late,” I cursed under my breath.

      It’s been a few months since I last saw Chan, they were promoting and I was filming a new drama but with our hectic lives it was nothing new. We usually just occasionally updated each other every now and then either by messaging or the rare phone call. What was new was the urgent message I got from Chan yesterday saying that we needed to talk ASAP. I had a few hours between shoots today so we decided to meet at a coffee shop between our two locations. By the time I got there, Chan was already sitting with two drinks on the table.

“Sorry I’m late, the shoot ran a little longer then it should’ve.”

“It’s fine,” he chuckled, “I got you your usual.”

“Thanks. So what’s up? What’s with the urgency?” I asked as I took a sip of my drink.

“Well you remember Eunhye?”

      I really wish I couldn’t but it’s hard not to when he talks about her… a lot. From what I know they’ve gone on a handful of dates and she is really understanding with the idol stuff. Apparently since she's a university student on the verge of graduating, so she’s pretty busy herself, things have been going well, and he really likes her. The urgency of needing to meet him, him bringing her up, the nervous energy flowing off of him… I didn’t have a good feeling about it. I prepared my heart for the worst and turned on my actress switch as a smile pulled across my lips.

“Yeah what about her?”

“Well… I really like her…”

“What? I didn’t know,” I gasped sarcastically.

“Stop I’m being serious,” he chuckled softly.

“Then just spill it already, it’s just me. I’m not going to judge you.”

“It’s just you’re the first to know so it kinda feels weird saying it out loud… I want to ask her to be my girlfriend. I mean not now but after promotions in a few weeks.”

      Even though on the outside my mouth dropped and my smile grew bigger as a gasp escaped my lips, inside… a heart wrenching scream clawed my chest. Yet another piece of my heart shattered to dust but now was not the time to dwell on myself. At least the next words that fell from my lips were honest, given from what little was left of my heart.

“Oh my god! Chan I’m happy for you. I mean I’ll be honest this will probably be like fighting an uphill battle but you know I’m always the pessimist in these situations. I am 100% happy for you though, you deserve it and your happiness is mine.”

“Thanks for your well wishes and warning,” he rolled his eyes with a laugh before adding, “You’re the best and remember I’ll always return the favor if you have someone you like.”

      How does that work when that someone is you?

“Thanks Chan, believe me I know,” I laugh.

“There isn’t anyone right now right? I know I haven’t really got to check up much on you since I’ve been going on about Eunhye and been busy with promotions…”

“Don’t worry about it, you didn’t miss anything. There’s no one right now.”

“Good but when that happens I better be the first to know,” he joked before he added on a more serious note, “no secrets right?”

“No secrets,” I smiled. No secrets… except for this one.

      I may have gone through this a few times already but like Seungmin said, it still hurts no matter how many times I go through it. We chatted a bit longer before we had to go for our next schedules but not before he planned something so that I could properly meet Eunhye… stupid best friend responsibilities. I know he hoped we got along and that was never the hard part when he got into a relationship. The hard part of it all was having to see her separate the grey areas in our friendship into black and white. When the day came, we met at the theaters to watch the movie Chan and I promised to see together. Our usual of sharing popcorn and a drink, making commentary during the movie, sitting close enough so that our shoulders touched… became a him and her thing with me watching the movie silently, an empty feeling on my sides, eating popcorn from a bucket far too big for myself because ordering a large was a force of habit. I still smiled, laughed, joined the conversation, and played the best friend role like I was supposed to. My mind was just in a haze through it all and although Chan noticed it, my lies blended with the truth. I told him I was tired, I just didn't specify that it was physically from work, emotionally from unrequited feelings and mentally from keeping up my farce. 

      The rest of those two weeks blurred together as the heartbreak set it deeper and deeper as each day passed. I was finally snapped out of my daze when I got messages from Seungmin in Minho in our "feelings" group chat when I was on break during filming. I’m guessing Chan took more time to clearly think about this before he told the boys. Throughout the day we exchanged messages but even though we were all busy, they demanded me to video call them once I was off even if it was at an ungodly hour. I love those two but together they were bossy and a force to be reckoned with. I agreed and didn’t get a message until I had just finished filming my last scene. They were back at the dorm and were reminding me to call. I rolled my eyes before updating them that I had just finished and would be home soon. By the time I had texted them I was home, my foot barely through the door, my phone rang with a face-time notification. I chastised them the moment their faces appeared on screen.

“You know there is this thing called patience right?”

“Well that is reserved for people who keep us updated,” Minho countered.

“Wasn’t my update to tell but okay,” I rolled my eyes but as I noticed the background behind them I dropped my voice, “are you guys in your room?! Don’t you guys share a room? Can you even be on call right now?”

“Well the person in question is sleeping and we aren’t that loud so it’s fine. We’re on the other side of the room.”

“So how are you?” Seungmin interrupted before I could rebut.

“At least someone cares,” I joke.

“Come on, be serious.”

“Okay sorry. You know I don't do "feelings"… Uhm… well… I’m better than the first day I heard the news but that can’t really say much.”

“Used work to fill the void? Have you at least been getting proper rest?”

“Yup. It helps that they are filming a bulk of my scenes right now so my mind stays occupied but sorry Seungmin sleep is not my friend right now.”

“I still can’t believe how dense Chan-hyung is. You’ve been friends for six years and you’ve had a crush on him for five, I’m sorry but how has he not figured it out or at least noticed something?”

      As Minho got annoyed his voice got a bit louder and we all froze as we heard rustling coming from the other side of the room. No one moved for a good few minutes to ensure Chan was still sleeping. When we were sure, Seungmin nudged Minho with his shoulder.

“Hyung, keep it down.”

“My bad! It just sucks that one friend is hurting our other friend and he doesn’t even know,” Minho hissed.

“Awww thanks Minho,” I teased.

“Whatever,” Minho mumbled before adding, “I’m just surprised the feeling lasted this long even after everything.”

“Well you know your leader, it’s kinda hard to get over someone like that. Like have you seen him? His body-”

“Ahhhhh, I don’t want to hear it,” Seungmin whined.

“I mean you’re right but ewwww.”

“I’m kidding,” I chuckled softly, “But on a more serious note… I just… I don’t know why I can’t get over Chan. I mean when I figured out I liked him five years ago it was the thing that I’ve liked him for awhile already before I even realized it and no matter what happens or how many times my heart breaks… that feeling is still there. I mean I, without a doubt, can say that he is my first love. Any guy I find, no matter how much I love him… I don’t think I’ll love him as much as I love Chan… Oh jeez.”

      Before I knew it there were tears streaming down my face as I was explaining. This was the first time I have vocalized just how much Chan meant to me and hearing it aloud just made everything so much worse. I gave a dry chuckle as I tried to furiously wipe away the tears but to no avail. The tears I’ve held back for so long took the chance to fall and I had no control anymore. I started to curse as the tears turned to sobs and the boys tried their best to soothe me through the screen. The rest of the night was filled with the boys comforting me and me finally letting it all out. After the call it felt lighter in my chest but that just gave pain more room to fill and I didn’t know which one was worse. I need to pull myself together or I’ll never be able to make it through dinner with the boys and Eunhye in a few days. It took a bit but the pain somehow subsided to a dull numbness where I could properly pretend to be myself. 

      The day of, I met the boys outside the barbecue restaurant and greeted them happily. Chan said that Eunhye was a bit behind so she’ll meet us inside. While he explained, he casted a nervous glance at me. I tiled my head, mouthing a “what?” in confusion, but he just shook his head and smiled before leading us in. Once we were seated, everyone began to chatter about the menu, arguing and discussing what they wanted to eat. I smiled at the organized chaos, a calming constant in my life. After a few more minutes passed Eunhye came in and greeted everyone. She came over and sat next to me, causing me to move closer to Seungmin and away from my place in front of Chan. Throb. No heart, not in front of Chan. I knew Minho and Seungmin would worriedly look at me but, among the many other strange things he’s been doing tonight, Chan too was anxiously giving me looks. When I finally caught him I raised an eyebrow in question but he quickly turned away, laughing at something Eunhye had said. When the food finally came I took my usual job of manning the grill and Eunhye helped. Out of habit I placed a majority of the meat onto the other members’ plates like I always have, save a few pieces for myself, and moved to Chan’s except Eunhye beat me to it. She giggled as he got flustered by her action… replaced yet again. Our eyes connected and for a second his eyes filled with panic and I just gave him a weird look before turning my attention back to the grill in front of me. Halfway through the meal my phone buzzed and I excused myself and stepped out of the restaurant, moving to a less crowded area to minimize the noise.

“Manager Kim? What's up?”

“Did you check your texts? There’s good news.”

“Huh? I’m at dinner right now, I haven’t had a chance to look at my phone. Give me a sec,” as I pulled up my texts I gave a delighted squeal as I put my phone back to my ear, “No way?! Seriously?!”

“Yup, once we finalize everything on our end, make sure you’re ready to go, got it?”

“Yeah of course. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

      A satisfied sigh left my lips as I held my phone to my chest. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath to enjoy the chilly night air as it filled my lungs. There was a comfort in the cold isolation of outside compared to inside and I basked in it a bit longer. As I turned to head back to the door I saw Chan coming to me.

"Hey is everything alright? You've been out here for awhile."

"Oh yeah, my manager was just updating me on the changes in my schedule. Are you okay though? You've been kinda weird all night."

"Haha yeah, I'm fine. Let's go back in yeah?"

"... Okay."

      I knew it was a lie. There was something bugging him but I won't pry. That's not how we were, it just naturally comes out and if he's holding back there’s a reason. I could never really badger him either when I’m now keeping two big secrets from him…

#stray kids #skz #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #skz imagines #skz scenarios #bang chan #bang chan imagines #bang chan scenarios #bang chan angst #my writing

[theheroheart]

New Years Meme 2020

@arqueete:  “This survey is a meme that has been passed around among my friends since back in LJ days. If you want to join in, please consider yourself tagged.”

I used to journal more, and stuff like this is really nice to look back on, because I have terrible memory for life stuff or the passage of time. So here, for future me.

1. What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before? Uhhhh wear a mask to the grocery store? This was not a groundbreaking year for new experiences.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year? I didn't have any. I don't make any. I mean, sometimes I make them in the vague "I want to focus on this in the future", but I'll already have forgotten by March, like I don't really PLAN my life in such a way. I just have goals that aren't tied to specific points in time. You get there when you get there, and you choose what you want to prioritise.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No, but my brother got married, which was very exciting because he's 40 and has never had a girlfriend who he considered important enough for me to meet. (And my sister-in-law is delightful.)

4. Did anyone close to you die? My (half-)brother's dad died a few weeks ago (cancer), but I didn't really know him, so I wouldn't say he was close to me. I did spend almost a week at my brother's place to be there for him though. And honestly, I kept thinking about how my mom's dead this year, because in a way I'm glad we didn't have to deal with this year together. She already died from respitory failure, had poor impulse control and sense of safety, and I would've been CONSTANTLY worried about her.

5. What countries did you visit? I was gonna go to Malaysia (for my brother's wedding celebration), but that didn't happen. (Flatmates were gonna go to Japan.) So. Yeah. Home country all the way.

6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? A driving force to move forward in my life?

7. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? I don't think... that there is one specific day? I guess the US election? Despite me being Norwegian, it's still fairly historic.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? /stares blankly at the wall I did do some nice art pieces? I coped? I managed to have good times and make friends despite everything else.

9. What was your biggest failure? I dropped out of two classes specifically because I couldn't do remote learning and self-structured study (BECAUSE ADHD YO), even though it wasn't even that HARD subjects, which was very frustrating. It hasn't set my study plan back, thankfully, but it still felt like a waste.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Only mental. And thankfully not as bad as it could've been, but hell yeah there was some strong anxiety in there.

11. What was the best thing you bought? I've bought some great video games this year. Animal Crossing brought 250 hours of fun, Hades brought 100 hours so far. Good investments.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? // 13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Both of these are related to pandemic behavior so I think you can guess.

14. Where did most of your money go? Entertainment? Also, god, I spent so much money on theatre tickets that are now just vouchers for non-specific future performances. I'll get my money's worth eventually, but right now it's hundres of dollars worth just sitting in vouchers. OH, and, digital D&D books.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? I had tickets for Chess. Several tickets, for multiple performances. STILL HAVEN'T SEEN THIS PRODUCTION THOUGH. But they're still doing it so hopefully it will still happen.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2020? Not sure I have any specific ones, actually. No iconic music.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: Last year I was feeling very accomplished. I was challenging myself, had befriended lots of classmates, had gotten through some stuff I was quite proud of managing. This year has been... not that. But on the other hand, I'm not as exhausted from school stuff, and I'm ready to actually go places and try to do things, as opposed to just wanting a month long nap.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? General life maintainance stuff. Not just school work, but like, focus more on money sensibility and try to get on disability, go to the dentist, work with my doctor more... All of that got a little bit just... postponed indefinitely.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Uh, can't think of any notable negative behaviour. It's mostly stuff I didn't do. Like, I had some bad anxiety in the spring, but honestly I think I did an appropriate amount of worrying.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? Had my first christmas with my flatmates (whom I love very much), and had my dad over as well. It was very lovely, and socially way less draining than usual.

22. Did you fall in love in 2020? lmao I'm aromantic

23. How many one-night stands? lmao I'm asexual

24. What was your favorite TV program? There were a few this year! Good Omens, The Queen's Gambit, Julie and the Phantoms, Avenue 5. There were more I watched and enjoyed, but I think those stand out the most. Also, does Critical Role count? OH, The Baby Sitters Club! A lot of good stuff.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Nah. I don't hate a lot of people.

26. What was the best book you read? Don't think I read anything notable this year. Don't read a lot of books, I prefer to consume stories in other media.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Julie and the Phantoms. Not because the music is astounding or anything, but it was very feel-good and fun. Don't think I had a lot of new music.

28. What did you want and get? D&D campaigns? Have gotten really invested in one of them in particular, it's delightful.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? Hmmm. The only one that stands out was The Old Guard. I watch more series than films. 2 hours isn't long enough for me to get properly invested AND satisfied.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 33 and I don't know that I did anything special. I think I just chilled? Flatmates made me a nice breakfast!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Having the energy for essays/exams, probably. Just feeling like I actually had some accomplishments. OR LIKE. If Norway did like New Zealand and just wiped the virus out.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020? Pyjamas. Occasionally 'apocalypse chic'.

34. What kept you sane? My flatmates and my dad. Reliable social interaction with people I care about.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Matthew McNulty, which applies to every single year. But this year I started both a gallery website and a discord server for him, so it was a particularly good year for him.  (Special mention to Paul Spera, who I finally talked to face-to-face, through Zoom, but still.) Also I'm using 'fancy' platonically.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Ha aha hah all of them, oh god. BLM, probably, though. That was when I still had the energy to get invested.

37. Who did you miss? So many people. Like, come on. I don't know that it was even specific people so much just... being in a group? Like, my choir gang?

38. Who was the best new person you met? Met a guy I ended up playing a LOT of board games with. We haven't really talked in a few months now tho. And there's a friend I didn't MEET this year, but I really connected with, who's also now my DM, which was really nice.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020: It's not necessarily new knowledge, but this year has really driven home the need for both community solidarity and governmental support/leadership.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: I'm alone in my apartment, that means I can do anything / I'm not wearing pants (alone in my apartment - Brian David Gilbert)

Summary: It's been a conflicted year, a lot has felt like it's been on stand-still, but there's still been some good things in there.

#real life maybe #2020 #personal

[gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights]

Rating: G

Summary:  An offhand curiosity leads to Ladybug and Chat Noir riding his baton up as high as it can go. Or, as high as it can go before they get distracted. (It's just nerves about the height that has Ladybug's stomach in knots, she swears.) Ladynoir oneshot for @lovesquarefluffweek, dedicated to @rosekasa who made me a ladynoir stan

Word Count: 3511

XXX

Marinette rested her hands on her hips, watching in amusement as her partner finished wedging his staff in the crack in the dilapidated rooftop.

“This is a horrible idea,” she said idly.

His tongue stuck out as he tried wiggling the stick, ensuring that it was secured fast.  “Come on, Bugaboo, none of your ideas have ever been horrible.”

Strictly speaking, this wasn’t her idea. She’d only wondered how far Chat’s baron could extend, if its length was as infinite as her yo-yo’s string.  It was her ridiculous, adrenaline-junkie partner who wanted to ride the baton up as far as it could go.  

Not that it was that dangerous, really.  They’d done it a few times to scout for some akuma or another during attacks.  Besides, it would be nice to see the city from such a height without a threat looming over them—or below them.

“It wasn’t an idea. It was a question,” she still said on principle. “I didn’t think you were actually going to test it.”  

He rested his chin on the top of the baton and grinned.  “How long have you known me? I’m not majoring in Physics for nothing.” 

“You’re not majoring in Physics.”  She leaned in to flick his nose, which only made him grin wider.  “Not for another two months, and not ever if you become a pancake by pulling some stupid stunt before then.”  

“How could I hurt myself?  I’ll have my amazing partner right there to catch me if I fall.”  He winked.

Her stomach twisted like pretzel dough—from nerves about the height, that was all.

“Don’t go treating me like a parachute, kitty.  I’ll be more likely to rip my arm out of its socket if I have to yo-yo us out of this.”  

Or she’d have to use Lucky Charm and hope for an actual parachute, but it probably wouldn’t come to that.  Silly as her kitty could be, he never let her down when it mattered.

“Don’t worry.  I’ll be extra careful, I Pawmise.”  He crossed his heart with one claw, still grinning like he was already on top of the world.  

Ridiculous or not, this idea was worth it just to see him so excited.  He’d been bouncing all night since she’d agreed.  

“You’d better,” she warned, though her voice was warm.  

His grin reached Cheshire proportions as he wrapped one arm securely around the metal staff and extended the other to her.  “One catapult, going up.”

“Oh no.”  She laughed.  “Points for the pun, but please don’t tell me you’re going to launch us.” 

“I already said I’ll be careful.  Don’t tell me the fearless Ladybug is actually scared?”

“Pffff, you wish.  You just want me to hold on tighter.”  Her fingers threaded through his teasingly before slipping out just as he tried to kiss her knuckles.  

His lips pursed in a pout.  “You know me too well, my Lady.  ...But seriously, please hold on. I know you can catch yourself if you have to, but I’d really rather not drop you in the first place.”

“That makes two of us.”

She wrapped one arm around his waist and secured the other at his shoulder.  His feet lifted off the ground to brace against the staff, leaving his thigh as a comfortable seat.  

Enjoying this, huh?  She almost expected him to tease as she snuggled closer—because she did want to be safe.  It was almost disappointing when he neglected to quip though.  Maybe she wasn’t clinging tightly enough after all.

“So high do you think we’ll go?”  He asked, holding her by the waist as she finished getting settled.  “Think we’ll be dodging planes tonight?”

“I doubt it.  Even if we technically could go that high, we shouldn’t.  It’ll be freezing up there.”  

“What, afraid I won’t be able to keep you warm?”  He teased with a gentle nuzzle to the size of her head.

Had it always been this difficult to keep from leaning into his touch?  Not that she couldn’t, but, well—if she gave into his jokes, he’d have no reason to continue.

“Why don’t you just focus on getting us up there at all.”  She kept her voice flat, hiding any trace of that brief thought.

“Whatever you say, Bugaboo.”

For all his earlier joking, their ascent started fairly slow, more like an elevator than a catapult.  It gave her plenty of time to take in the sights below—the warm lights flickering from windows, divided by the dark swath of the Seine.  Streets radiating out from the Arc de Triomphe like spokes on a wheel, cars inching their way down them like little lightningbugs.  And of course, the Eiffel Tower, sparkling in the distance, a homing beacon that never failed to bring a smile to her lips.

Paris.  Their city.

“Pretty amazing, huh,” Chat breathed beside her. With their arms around each other and the glittering lights below, it was easy to pretend they were rulers surveying their kingdom.

...Chat had must have been calling Marinette Princess too much.  Or else his My Lady’s were going to her head.

Royal daydreams or not, though, there was no one she’d rather have beside her—no one else she could have beside her. And not just because it was his baton that held them aloft, his embrace that made her feel as secure as if she stood on solid ground.  She would have been crushed under the weight of her superhero mantle if he weren’t there to share it.  Staring down at just how many people depended on them, it was impossible to forget that.

“Does it ever feel like too much?”  She whispered the doubt that had been nagging at her more and more lately. She tried to stay strong for the team’s morale, but when it was just her partner and the hushed sky, her necessary barriers wore thin.  

“Does what feel like too much?”  He replied just as quietly.  His face turned to hers, emerald irises glinting in the moonlight, closer than she’d prepared herself to handle.

The pretzel twist in her stomach made a reappearance, but she was hardly thinking about the height.

“You know.  All of this.”  She couldn’t let go to gesture to the glowing city beneath them, but he seemed to understand anyway.  “We’re the only ones standing between all of them and two adult supervillains. And even after all these years, we still haven’t found them.”

Her voice cracked a little on that last sentence. The uncomfortable truth they’d been dancing around for the last few months—longer, really, but it became more and more urgent as lycee ended and they prepared to go to University. Most of their team of miraculous wielders (not Chat, of course) would be leaving Paris. This was the last summer they would be together, and the last summer they could be kids, only they hadn’t really been kids for four years now thanks to Hawkmoth and Mayura—

And maybe that was why she agreed to this crazy idea.  Because they were kids, dang it, and she deserved to do something silly and dumb with the one person she trusted more than anyone in the world.  She wanted to spend time with him outside of taking down Hawkmoth’s villain of the day.  She wanted them to just be together.

Wait.  Not together, together—just, like, as friends.  Who could spend time together without wearing magical suits and masks.  She wanted to sew them matching shirts, and text him cat memes at two a.m., and kick his butt at video games.  Which she could do as Marinette, but—she wanted him to know it was her, too.

The sheer force of that longing took her by surprise, and only multiplied her hatred for Hawkmoth a hundredfold.

“Hey, Little Bug,” Chat said softly.  His arm tightening around her dissolved the complicated web of her thoughts.  “We’re going to find him.  And it’s not just us anymore.  Pegasus is analyzing all the data Rena’s collected, remember?  And we’ve got her and Carapace alternating patrols with Ryuuko and Viperion.  We can even call in Queen Bee or Bunnyx or King Monkey if we need to.  We’ve never been closer to taking Hawkmoth down.”

He was right.  They weren’t alone.  They never would’ve survived the combined powers of Hawkmoth and Mayura if it weren’t for their team, especially since sentimonsters started regularly joining the fray two years ago.

Still, there was something about sitting with Chat among the pinprick stars that brought her back to before then.  When it was just the two of them against the world.

Was it weird that she sometimes missed that?

“I know,” she murmured.  Her forehead leaned against his chest, where the steady thump-thump of his heart calmed her own.  “Sorry, Chat.  I shouldn’t worry.”

“I don’t think anyone could stop you from worrying.”  His chin rested on her head, his warmth and familiar scent cocooning her.  Roses and leather and cheese, juxtaposed in a way that was so uniquely him.  “I doubt Paris would still be standing if you didn’t worry.  But it’s going to be okay.  I promise.”

The rational part of her brain wanted to ask how he could say that.  The newspapers cried out against them at every mistake, at every day that drew them closer to the fifth anniversary of Hawkmoth’s appearance.

But the other part of her brain, the part that had worked in tandem with him long enough that trusting him was second nature, calmed at his reassurance.  

“Who knows,” he continued.  “Maybe we’ll kick Hawkmoth’s butt before summer ends, and then we can throw a party before everyone splits for University.  The whole team can show up.  We’ll get Multimouse to bring the pastries.  Carapace can blast us some sick tunes.  I’m sure Queen Bee can get us a venue…”

Marinette giggled at the thought of all the miraculous wielders, unmasked and just hanging out like normal friends, no more worries than what they were going to do in University.  Alix and Kim would probably (definitely) end up in some kind of competition, powered by their miraculouses or not.  Luka would serenade Kagami with his guitar instead of Viperion’s lyre.  Speaking of which, Marinette wondered if Adrien’s brief stint as Aspik would mean he would be there… and how he would get along with Chat Noir.  For some reason, she had a feeling it would be odd to see them together.

Regardless, it was a dream worth fighting for.  A dream worth hoping for.

“I’m sure Multimouse would love that,” she said, hiding her smirk against his collarbone.  By the time such a party could happen, Chat would know the truth about her dual identity, anyway.  “I know I would.”

“There’s only one thing that would make it better.”  Chat’s voice turned teasing.

“Oh, yeah? What’s that?”

He didn’t answer as they passed through a cloud, the dampness much colder and all around wetter than she was prepared for.  She shivered and sneezed, feeling her pigtails cling to the back of her neck.  Chat chuckled and brushed them aside.  His claws lingered for the briefest of moments on the sliver of skin between her suit and hairline.

“A private party,” he said softly.  “Just the two of us, before everyone else.”

She pulled back just enough to see his eyes again, intending to tease him about what kind of party he was asking for—but the sincerity and softness in his features stopped her short.

“Y-yeah?”

“Yeah.  So we can… I mean, I know I want…” he swallowed for a moment before quietly finishing, “I want you to be the first one to know who I am.”

They didn’t talk about revealing their identities often—mostly because she made it clear that they couldn’t, and she already thought about it enough without tempting either of them by saying it out loud.  He was Chat Noir, her partner and best friend, no matter who he was under the mask.

But maybe they should talk about it more, if he thought she would want anything else.

“Of course, Kitty.”  Carefully, since they were hundreds of kilometers in the air, she moved the arm at his waist to wrap around the back of his neck instead.  A few of his damp locks tickled her fingers even though the suit.  “I’ve always wanted you to be the first, too.”

His smile could’ve powered the whole city below.  “Then it’s settled. Pegasus finds Hawkbutt next week.  We storm the castle, Queen Bee Venoms him and Mayura, you rip their miraculouses off, we pound it, and we throw the biggest party Paris has ever seen.”

His optimism, if unrealistic, was contagious.  She felt the hope untangling knots in her chest as she laughed again.

“I should’ve left the planning to you, Chaton.  Maybe then we’d have beaten Hawkmoth already.”

“Nah, we all know you’re the brains of the operation, Bugaboo.  I’m just here to look pretty.”  He flipped his soggy hair, and his bangs hit his forehead with a fwap.  

She couldn’t help the laugh that burst from her.  “You’re such a dork.  I love you.”

He froze solid as one of Style Queen’s statues.  She half expected him to turn to gold, for his warmth to bleed out like the color currently draining from her face.

She said— 

She’d said she loved him.  

She’d said she loved him, and the words had come out as easy as breathing, as sure as the pounding of her heart.  How—why?  She didn’t love him, not like that, she couldn’t couldn’t she’d told herself that long ago—

But any denials caught in her lungs, trapped like the dark butterflies snared by her yo-yo.  Only when the words were fully purified were they released again.

“I—I love you,” she whispered.  

She hadn’t meant to say it once, much less twice—but with the repetition the truth of it snapped firmly into place.  She didn’t know when her kitty had snuck past her defenses, slipped past her blinding crush on Adrien, dodged all the logical reasons she had for not falling for him.  

But he had.

She loved Chat Noir.  Of course she did.

“You—but you—is there an akuma?”  He stammered, eyes wide and disbelieving.  She’d been turning down his off-and-on (mostly on) flirting for four years now; of course he wouldn’t assume she was serious.

“No, Kitty.”  Her laugh felt suffocating.  After all this time she’d been trying to confess to Adrien, and now, when her target was her Kitty, her mouth didn’t give her a choice.

Maybe that was for the best.  She would always have a special place in her heart for Adrien, but Chat—Chat was her home.  Her partner, her friend, her everything.  

The twisting in her stomach finally unwound, swelling into something that she could hardly contain.  His face was so close, his lips still parted from the three words she’d dropped on him.  It would be so easy to lean in and kiss the shock from his face, until he melted in her arms, until they both believed this was real.

But Chat had always respected her boundaries, and she would do the same for him.  Besides, what if he didn’t feel the same anymore, if his flirting was just habit?  And she’d just blurted out her feelings before even she realized them—what if she ruined the comfortable companionship they shared?

No.  No, she knew better than that.  Even if he didn’t feel the same, nothing could tear the two of them apart. 

“I know I’m late, but—if you still want me—”

“My Lady.”  She felt more than heard the tremor of emotion in his voice.  “I’ll always want you.  I always have.”

Was this real?  How had she gone from flirting with her partner to baring her heart to him?  The liquid moonlight washed aside her walls. His golden hair was spun silver in its glow, and her hands ran through it involuntarily.  She was lucky Chat had returned his grip to her waist, because otherwise she might have accidentally slipped off him.

As much as his words made her feel like she could fly, it was best not to test that theory.

“Thanks for waiting for me, Chaton.”  She rested her forehead against his, still shaking with the realization and love and longing and—how had she ignored this feeling?  How long had she wanted him to kiss her senseless before her mind would admit it?

It didn’t matter.  She knew now, and the electricity that sparked between them wouldn’t let her forget anytime soon.

“You know I’d wait forever for you.  I love you.”  His breath fanned across her cheeks, soft and hot and everything she hoped his lips would be.  “I love you so so much, Ladybug, I—”

He might be willing to wait forever, but she wasn’t.  Her lips consumed whatever it was he was going to say next— 

And all she knew was that he tasted like coming home.

He matched her passion with a surprising sweetness.  It wasn’t the intense kiss she was expecting, but maybe that was for the best.  He was the only thing keeping them from plummeting to the ground far below, and distracting him probably wasn’t the best idea, but frankly after that first touch of lips she was so gone they could’ve fallen and she wouldn’t have noticed— 

He yelped against her mouth.  Had she done something wrong?  She hadn’t kissed a boy since Luka two years ago, but she couldn’t be that bad— 

Oh.  She hadn’t noticed.

Gravity really wasn’t supposed to be tugging in that direction.  And the wind wasn’t supposed to be blowing up.

And Chat’s baton wasn’t supposed to be slipping through his fingers.

Gah!  She barely had time to think as his arms tightened around her middle so he was hugging her from below.  What was he thinking?  Did he expect to cushion her fall?

Jolting out of oh-my-gosh-I’m-kissing-Chat mode, she threw her yo-yo from her hip and lassoed the still-upright baton.  Only miraculous magic could be holding it steady, especially when she yanked them towards it—

And in a jumble of limbs and string, she promptly tangled them against the metal length.

She heard a sharp crack, followed by a dizzy groan. 

“Chat, oh my gosh, are you okay?” The world was still spinning; she couldn’t turn to see him. Mostly because her back was pressed flush against his chest.

“Purrfectly fine, my Lady.” His laugh sounded near her ear. “I always knew you’d sweep me off my feet.”

She rolled her eyes, unsure if she wanted to laugh or groan.  She was so stupid.  Making out with Chat with nothing but a pole holding them up?  Yes, that sounded like something from her romantic fantasies (which she wasn’t supposed to have with him, but—shh), but she should’ve known better in real life!

“You’re never going to let me live this down, are you?” She muttered.

He hummed thoughtfully. That sound should not have made her shiver, she was just—it was just cold. Even though his body was hot against her back.

Yeah, she wasn’t kidding anyone.

“I could be purrsuaded to forget,” he said to her surprise.

“Oh, yeah?” 

“Mm-hmm.” His chin rested on her shoulder. “For the low price of fifty more kisses.”

“Fifty?” She choked, face heating. Fifty brushes of his lips on hers, of his laugh filling her lungs— “I—I don’t know. Actually, you’re the one who let go of the staff. I might’ve kissed you first, but you’re the one who should be getting teased.”

“Fair enough. A hundred kisses, then. Fifty for me to forget, and fifty for you to forgive me for dropping you.”

“Bold words from a guy who couldn’t even handle kissing me once.” She would’ve flicked his bell if her arms weren’t trapped over his around her middle.

“Ah, it just means I need more practice!”

She twisted her head just enough to stick her tongue out at him. “You won’t get any practice if you don’t get us down from here.”

“Oh. Uh. About that… I can’t reach the button.” He laughed awkwardly. “You mind untangling us?”

The magical properties of her yo-yo meant she could still retract the string even tangled as it was, but it would take a minute to lasso them back to the baton properly this time.

“Only if you don’t mind falling again.” 

“For you? Never,” he said with a quick kiss to her cheek.

She shook her head.  She refused to be distracted by him this time, even if his smell was everywhere, more dizzying than their brief fall through the clouds.

“You’re such a dork.”

“But you love me,” he practically sang.

Despite the fact that they were hanging in an awkward position hundreds of meters in the air, her nerves vanished completely.

“Yeah, Kitty. I do.”

(That truth was far more important than learning how far Chat’s baton could extend, anyway.)

[And then next week they beat hawkbutt and ship him and nathalie off to jail and everyone in the whole team comforts Adrien and he and marinette live happily ever after with a hamster]

#ladynoir #miraculous ladybug #ladybug #chat noir #fic tag #tali writes #lovesquarefluffweek2020 #no reveal here lads #other than marinette gettin her feelings revealed to her

[soysaucevictim]

Week 3. I’m... struggling.

-

May 1

I tried to get some sleep in after the all-nighter a bit before 9AM... “got up” around 3PM. This to mean I lied down and didn’t really get any proper sleep, because mind was racing about that project.

But resting was still okay. After I got back up and updated some logs, I did today’s exercise...

First, today’s DD. 50 squats with EC. Manageable, moderately aerobic work. One of the last things I did before things went pear-shaped...

I shortly after found out I lost a family member and I saw what happened. I’m not going to describe it here, for many reasons. But I’ve been dealing with the images and emotional pain since... I probably will in some fashion, for a long time.

Last, Day 13 of BREATH. “Feel“. Yoga was emotionally uncomfortable as hell... but I brought myself to the mat accepting that I was going in feeling extremely tender in that dept. Let’s just say there were some waterworks and a very real sense of survivor’s guilt. That’s all I’m going to say there.

I tried to deal with things with chatting and discretionary venting on Twitter...

I forced myself through another all-nighter to finish that sewing project. Fought against images and waves of intense emotions to keep going. I don’t think I would’ve succeeded at sleeping through the night anyways.

-

May 2

I tried to sleep again round 8AM - it was more just physical rest till like 10AM. Too restless.

Touched base on what happened with a family member. They were... all of us were... are distraught.

I had a more successful attempt at sleeping for a couple hours after that. Honestly, painful. But it was mutually beneficial and necessary. Probably made the nap easier.

Shortly after, I endeavored to get some working out done.

First, today’s DD. 50 climber taps with EC. Ngl, it took a little psyching myself up to get down and do this. As expected, really started feeling the abs in the last 10-20 reps.

Second, Day 14 of BREATH. “Space“. This was less emotionally fraught - even though there were moments wrapping up that I had twangs of sorrow. It’s too soon to let everything I’m going to need to go... but I imagine, there will be in the future. Too raw and in pain to manage that yet. I did like the back arch balance stands and toe stand moments, the most.

Last, Day 13 of 1′HIIT. Level 3, 1′ rest. Had phone on floor because it was all planks. My climbers ran at more of a jog than a sprint - but then again energy levels wasn’t up to that. The last 2 sets in particular that were the hardest.

Made dinner, did some dishes, chatted and started on that vent art of Virgil to help process things a little. I basically pulled another all-nighter.

-

May 3

I decided to let care team know about what happened with a local crisis unit/line, before trying to get some sleep.

I woke up proper around 3PM, I think this was modestly more restful.

After some of the usual... was both somewhat relieved and distressed when one of the family member’s friends called his phone. We were able to let his circle know what happened.

I then got to some exercise again.

First, today’s DD. 1′ elbow clicks with EC. I counted 74 reps by the end of the duration. Manageable and simple.

Second, Day 15 of BREATH. “Enter“. Despite walking into this having eaten a lot of wasabi peas - I  elected to do full planks and kept back knee raised for high lunge variations upon Adriene’s invitation to. It was nice getting into a sort of flow - gathering what we were going to do next before Adriene instructed a few times.

Last, Day 14 of 1′HIIT. Level 3, 1′ rest. The squat hops were honestly the brutal part, today. Was tempted to not shoot for Level 3, but decided to anyways. Just glad I completed it, today.

Did some of the usual, made some dinner, and finished up that drawing.

I stayed up obscenely late, but not another all-nighter.

-

May 4

I woke up around 11AM.

Touched base with therapist on the phone. Made a mortuary appointment and asked family to help get me (and Dad) to that appointment later in the week.

Hit the showers, met some more family in person.

Did some of the usual before deciding to add, sort, and transfer the contents of my Anxiety Box into Virgil’s jar. I also decided to start filling the Patton jar with some things I was grateful for. I think this was helpful.

I dusted off Facebook for the first time in like years. Saw that his friends have been pouring condolences onto his page. I was pretty disconnected from his circle of friends... wound up adding many of the ones I recognized hearing about. This was a painful straddle between gratefulness and sorrow.

Had to field another call on his phone. That hurt too. I kind of wished I could unlock it.

I then got going on my workouts, pretty late...

First, today’s DD. 1′ raised leg circles with EC (supine). I counted a total of 45 reps, reversing the direction at the 30″ mark. Doable despite needing to hold head up.

Second, Day 16 of BREATH. “Discipline“. This was an extremely chill day - focusing on extending and slowing down the breaths... definitely well-timed given how tiring/harrowing today has been.

Last, Day 15 of 1′HIIT. Level 3, 1′ rest. Just arm work, I’d say these days are amongst the easiest to get through. Again, good for energy levels.

I wound up in bed around the same time as yesterday.

-

May 5

I woke up around 11AM again.

I went to Seeking Safety Group again. I wanted and needed to be there. That’s all I’m going to say on that one.

Got home, almost dozing off. But spent all day and night hanging out with a local friend.

I did some dishes and made one of the Hello Fresh Meal. Creamy pesto grillng cheese ciabattas. Me and friend really enjoyed this one.

Among many things - I think sharing DWIT and the first half of “The Poisoner’s Handbook“ were some of the highlights.

We wound up talking the night away, despite it not being the best idea.

Oh well, the bed was made at that point.

-

May 6

So one of the first things I had to deal with was a morning dental appointment. It was a nice appointment, talked about things with discretion. I’m hoping it may get a tiny bit easier to talk about for it. (Obviously NOT oversharing to anyone and everyone.)

Grabbed some Starbucks and had to get frustrated with LogistiCare, in activating my return trip home. I was honestly getting close to collapse of exhaustion by the time it got to me. (Not going to blame anyone really... it was unfortunate for how bone tired I was.)

Got home and took a short nap, before the mortuary appointment.

I kind of didn’t want to - but after that, I was roped into seeing extended family. It  was nice but also further exhausting. But I will say that a highlight was being able to share with my great uncle a series about the Spanish Flu. He likes history stuff and learned a lot of new things about that situation - also was nice tying it in with his interest in stuff like the WW. (Also glad and was struck by all the observed parallels with, uh, what’s been happening with COVID. But I’ll leave it at that.)

Medical history and the like was a welcome distraction. Especially the fact that that great uncle was an interested party to share it to.

Got home again and spent some of the night on the usual and decided that I was only up for catching up on my DDs...

First, yesterday’s DD. 40 side bridges with EC. It was questionable, given sheer level of exhaustion. But I felt like catching up on SOME of my regimen anyways..

Last, today’s DD. 40 windshield with EC. Same thoughts about previous exercise.

Updated some logs and stuff before hitting the sack. In the green zone for once, yet again. I was just so profoundly exhausted at that point.

-

May 7

I woke up around 11AM.

One the first things I wound up doing was fielding a lot of phone calls to get other appointment-related affairs handled.

Spent some time on the usual and sketching an art idea out that I’m not sure I’ll flesh out just yet. It’s kind of detail-intensive.

Then, I decided to catch up on my exercise regimen.

First, today’s DD. 2′ bicep extensions with EC. I counted 155 reps by the end of it. Biceps felt pretty tired after that one, at that pace. But very doable.

(After watching some YouTube and whatnot...)

Second, Day 17 of BREATH. “Explore“. Man, was this intense on my quads for my energy levels today. But I tried my best to get through it as best as possible. I think the chair poses were especially intense.

Third, Day 18 of BREATH. “Center“. This was alright. I liked the calf raise hold stuff and a lot more of the chill stuff today. Warriors were okay. Still have a ways to go to pull off Crow Pose, but that is a challenging one, for sure.

(After a lot of usual stuff...)

Fourth, Day 16 of 1′HIIT. Level 3, 1′ rest. Intense, but I enjoyed the fact this was mostly jumping jacks. Think the twist jacks were the weirdest part. Got fairly winded by the end.

(After making/eating some dinner and watching some videos for that to settle...)

Last, Day 17 of 1′HIIT.Level 3, 1′ rest. A bit more strength-oriented leg work - what with the leg raises and lunges. Glad I didn’t have to worry too much about doing this in a semi-full stomach (butt kicks do some jostling but generally not as much as like high knees).

I spent some time watching/listening to videos and updating some logs after this.

I got to bed pretty late in the red again... but not an all-nighter.

#adventures with fitness #adventures with hello fresh #family shit/ #death/ #(this... this was a traumatizing wk) #(i didn't detail what happened more than the fallout... however) #covid mention/ #(but that's not related to what happened to us this week)

[connorspiracy]

Roasted and Ghosted || Connor & Rio

Timing: Current Location: Abandoned shack in the woods Description: Connor and Rio go ghost bustin’. Warnings: Ghosties

Orion hadn’t exactly decided what he was doing here. On one hand, his goal had partially been to determine whether this guy was for real or just try to use ghost hunting for fame or that thing other kids were saying these days…. Clout. But on the other hand, Rio had always been intrigued by those ghost hunting shows. Though he had never had the courage to watch them by himself at night or anything, trying to determine which ones may be legit or which ones were obviously fake had been a type of research for him. Ghosts and spirits were not Rio’s main focus or even a big concern of his, so he considered this little outing more of a hobby or something. 

He spotted Connor coming from afar, recognizing his face from the videos Rio had been binging ever since the two had made plans. The place Rio picked was one of the lesser known ones around town. Places like the Misery Manor and Strawford park that regularly did scary shows and ghost tours would have been too baiting. Just outside of town, Rio stood many, many feet away from a large abandoned house that Rio had heard horror stories about growing up. Kids in school growing up regularly dared other students to hang out around the abandoned property, and sometimes Rio would hear the kids in his college classes brag about hopping the fences and trying to break into the house. This wasn’t Rio’s thing at all. In fact, a few months ago Rio would have gotten a good laugh out of the idea that he had just asked this semi popular and objectively very pretty youtuber to go to a haunted location together. His friend gang really had helped Rio come a long way. 

Rio jumped up and down and waved at the guy as he lugged his equipment toward him. “Hey! You’re Connor! You look just like you do in your videos. Which makes sense. Because you’re you!” Maybe he was getting a little too excited about the idea of meeting a mini celebrity. “I’m Rio, nice to meet you in person. Do you need help carrying anything?”

It wasn't an unusual occurrence for Connor to meet up with people in the towns he visited, to be given tours, to have guides or people interested in contributing to his work. Rio hadn't been unique in the least, but that didn't mean Connor wasn't intrigued by him. Rio had offered to show him some cool places, and if there was anything Connor had learned over the last few years, it was that you couldn't overestimate the value of a local. 

He really hadn't had the chance to settle into White Crest before Uncle Joe had gone full-on polter on his dad and Connor had needed to go home to London. He was intrigued by whatever Rio was going to show him. Based on what he'd said in their DMs, it wasn't somewhere you'd find out about on the town map. 

"Alright, mate," Connor greeted, shaking Rio's hand. "Nice to meet you too." He handed Rio one of his cameras at his offer. "If you want to offer a hand, I might need some additional handheld shots, but I want to get some establishing stuff first. What's this place you wanted to show me?"

Orion grabbed onto the camera that Connor offered and fiddled with it for a minute, “Sure! I don’t have much experience with the stuff but I’m happy to help where I can.” He had watched a number of videos to get prepared, but it wasn’t until he started thinking about being with the Youtuber while he filmed that Rio realized just how much work must be put into each video. The number of cuts and changes in a video must have required multiple different shots and camera angles and takes. And that was just the groundwork filming at the location before going home to have to edit everything together. Rio was only getting a peek into the first portion of what went into making one of these videos. That didn’t make it any less fascinating.

“Yeah, definitely.” Rio waved his arms at the house behind him and began wracking his brain for the myriad of stories he had heard about the place. “Well, it’s a bit of a wild ride. This place has been abandoned since I was a little kid. And people have been talking about it for just as long.” Rio could barely remember the first story that he heard about the place because they seemed to blend together. “The general consensus is that a family died inside. But the rest of the story gets murky. Some people talk about seeing a woman in black and some say that they hear like little kids crying from one of the rooms. The stories aren’t all exactly consistent. I’ve never been brave enough to come here by myself to see if there’s any truth to it.” Rio laughed nervously and scratched at his neck, “But I figured if anyone knows what they’re doing I guess it would probably be someone who made a career out of it, right?” 

At least this way Rio could hopefully get a good read on whether or not this guy was legit. Rio already knew how he was leaning. He had used words like medium and exorcist. Not exactly unknown words outside of people in the supernatural know, but it had still made Rio curious. If this guy was legit, at least Rio would know an exorcist. Having connections was always good. “When you say establishing stuff do you mean like, filming the outside of the property? Or are you going to record yourself talking about the place?”

"Just keep it steady and keep me in frame unless you're filming something else specific. Pretty much the basics," Connor said. Maybe if Rio was really interested in this stuff and he was any good, Connor would be able to have an actual camera-person again. "You ever done something like this before?" he asked, curious as to what had made Rio decide to take up this opportunity. 

He listened as Rio spoke to him about the abandoned shack. The wood and brick was old and beginning to crumble. He could see rot and damage, evidence of weathering and bug activity. "Oh, sick," he said, probably a little insensitively as Rio explained the history of the place. "It's not uncommon for places to have their own local lore, rumors and stuff that start up. One thing we can do is check local records to see if there's anything officially on file." 

He looked towards Rio with a smile. "Good question. The answer is both. But since you're the one who told me about the place, you can do the introduction, if you want."

Orion flipped the camera on and started spinning with it, trying to get a feel for it, “Got it!” He hoped he wasn’t completely awful with it, that last thing he wanted was to screw up any of Connor’s takes. “Uh, depends on what you mean I guess. I don’t know much about ghosts or spirits. I wasn’t even convinced they actually existed, if I’m being completely honest.” Not until Blanche at least, but Rio decided to keep things more vague for the moment. Rio wanted to remain a bit skeptical. He’s been told he has a habit of trusting people too easily. “But like I said I like to keep an open mind. And honestly all this history and supernatural stuff is super fascinating to me.”

Rio nodded, “Yeah, well obviously if you came here you must know that White Crest’s local lore is pretty intense.” The only perspective Rio had into that were stories he had heard from others that moved into town. Apparently, not every town had as many horror stories as this one did. But for someone that had never known anything different, this had all seemed so normal to Rio until he had gotten older. “Wait, really?” Rio couldn’t hide the excitement, bubbling up and forcing him to hop back and forth, “You look at local records and stuff like that?” He had to admit, this was already more convincing than some of the other shows he watched. Plus, who could turn down the idea of doing research? “That’s a great idea! I spend a ton of time at the local library. I can see if there’s anything they can pull for us!” 

The offer actually took Rio aback for a moment. He was stunned at first by it, though it eventually developed more into stress as Rio thought deeper about it. He could feel his neck heating up and knew he was blushing from even considering the idea of him being in a Youtube video. “Oh uh- Wow. I mean I really appreciate the offer. Because that sounds really cool. I’m not much of a like… public speaker though. Even if there’s not a public right now. I know there will be a public. That’s terrifying. Does that not terrify you?”

God, if this kid broke his camera, Connor was going to flip his shit, but you had to give a little to get a little, so if this guy was going to help him out, Connor had to give him a chance. "What convinced you?" he asked, eyes bright and inquisitive as he looked at Rio. He liked hearing stories about people who had been skeptics and had changed their minds.

"White Crest's supernatural lore - if you wanna call it that - is exactly why I'm here." He snickered. "Usually I'd look up the records before I came to the building, but it's fun to shake things up. I like the surprise." The idea of being terrified of speaking in front of the camera was hilarious to him, and he gave a good natured laugh. "Nah. Never bothered me. Some people are more naturally inclined to it than others. I get that." 

How did Orion explain his introduction into the supernatural? No, it was probably better to stick strictly to ghosts for the moment. Among the many horrors that Rio had seen and knew existed, ghosts had always been more elusive to him. He had proof of werewolves and fae. He had no proof that ghosts or spirits existed. So while he always kept an open mind, certainly not refusing to believe in them, he had kept a healthy amount of skepticism too. Maybe it was idealistic, hoping that maybe one horrifying thing people believed in actually was fake. “A good friend of mine has had experiences with them,” Blanche was like Connor, a medium. Or at least what Connor claimed to be. “I’ve never really had much experience by myself with ghosts, but she wouldn’t lie to me. So I believe her and I want to experience it for myself.” He shrugged. This wasn’t exactly the truth, but it was the closest thing to it that Rio was able to go with someone he barely knew. 

“Yeah, fair. There’s uh- plenty of content to be had here. So are you just focused on like ghosts and spirits? Or anything supernatural? White Crest offers lots of stories of both.” Rio had to admit that he was impressed by Connor’s willingness to dive into what most would consider the more boring aspect of ghost hunting. Most seemed to go purely based on stories that fueled the ghost stories. It was nice to see that he actually wanted to dig a little deeper. “Well I’m happy to offer my help in that regard, if you want. Research is kinda my thing, y’know? History major and all.” It was easy to tell that the easy going demeanor that Rio saw on YouTube wasn’t an act, not completely at least. Connor seemed to have that ease in person too. Even his body language was more relaxed as opposed to Rio’s. “Yeah, haha. Awkward people probs, right?” He laughed nervously, cursing himself for not being more sociable. “But let me know what I can do, yeah? I’m willing to help with anything. I want to see what the whole process is like.”

"A friend, hm?" Connor began walking around the house, keeping his senses peeled for any sign of ghosts. There was nothing yet, but that didn't necessarily mean Rio was wrong about the hauntings. Maybe they were just shy. "Might be the same friend that I know." If there was more than one medium in town that he could liaise with, he'd want to know, but most people weren't exactly as open as Connor was. 

"I'd say ninety per cent ghosts, ten per cent everything else." He'd probably record a voiceover for this footage so he could add any information they might find in the archives. "Great. Research buddy." He grinned over his shoulder. "Don't suppose you have the key?" His grin widened. "Or are we doing some good old-fashioned breaking and entering?" 

“You know someone else that sees ghosts?” Orion questioned, running through the small list of people that Rio knew who was able to see ghosts. The very small list. But just because Rio only knew Blanche, that didn’t mean there weren’t others in town that could also see ghosts. For now, it was better not to bring her up. “That’s pretty cool. I can imagine that it can get sorta frustrating sometimes, seeing things that others can’t? So I’m sure it’s nice to have others that can.” 

Ten percent everything else. That ten percent could give him a lot of content in a town like this. As long as he wasn’t too reckless and got himself hurt hunting it down. But trying to film the supernatural wouldn’t always land well with the ones trying to protect it’s secret. Which left a sort of conundrum that Rio had never considered before. Would hunter’s break their own code about protecting humans if it meant protecting the knowledge of the supernatural? Either way, it was probably better to make sure he kept an eye on these videos. To make sure he was safe. Rio gave an awkward thumbs up, “I think being your research buddy would be super cool.” Something told Rio that this wasn’t the first time that Connor had considered breaking and entering. Not that Rio could judge anymore, since he had done his fair share of it himself now. Rio tried the front door, the knob catching and refusing to budge. Unsurprisingly, it was locked. But Rio pressed against the door a little harder this time, shoving it until the lock cracked and the front door swung open, “Hmm. Guess it was rusted or something. Opened right up.” He laughed nervously, standing to the side and allowing Connor to get the first look inside. Rio couldn’t believe he was actually doing this.

"Well, I know a few people through family contacts and networking and stuff, but one in White Crest." There were likely more, Connor knew. Zombies, vampires, banshees... but he only knew Blanche. "It's pretty validating to have someone who knows you're telling the truth. I spent ages thinking there was something wrong with me when I was a kid." 

Rio decided to answer Connor with his actions rather than words. He tried the locks himself, but they didn't budge. Rio, however, was stronger than he looked. "Would it be unprofessional if I said that was pretty hot?" he said with a grin. Once the door was open, Connor started filming, getting some shots as he walked through the door. "So we just got in, and apparently my new friend Rio is the Hulk in disguise," Connor narrated, flipping the camera to Rio for a second to smile at him. He turned the camera back to the house, slowly exploring. "Hey, anyone home?" he called. 

Orion considered what it would be like to not know anyone else that could see ghosts or spirits. Rio had grown up around people like him, at least genetically. Maybe his was the opposite extreme. Rio had spent most of his life wishing that he hadn’t grown up around other hunters. “I can’t say that I know exactly what that’s like. But it sounds pretty lonely.  I’m familiar with that feeling.” 

Rio’s face was on fire, and he could tell that it must be a bright shade of red. “Uhhhhhhhh” Rio drug that out for far too long as he tried to figure out how to reply to the compliment. “Thanks. I mean it doesn’t bother me. That’s very nice. And you’re very pretty. Like objectively pretty I mean.” Rio rambled, clearly not used to receiving any compliments like that. “I mean, I’m sorta dating someone right now. Now that you asked. Or that you were like flirting or anything. But just so you know. I’ll shut up now.” Please for the love of god, have Connor edit that part out of his filming. Luckily, Connor got right back to work filming the place as they walked inside, and Rio trailed behind him and held his own camera up to film as well. When Connor turned the camera towards Rio, he smiled and gave the screen a thumbs up. “So does that usually work for you? Asking if they’re home?” Rio asked curiously, wondering how many ghosts kept up with manners. Considering the two had just broken their door down, greetings probably wouldn’t be the first thing on their minds.

Connor turned the camera back on himself. “Do you hear that, lads, gals and non-binary pals? You heard it here. I’m objectively pretty.” He couldn’t hide his charming little smirk before he went back to filming the room. “Nah, not always, but I’m going into their place. It’s polite to announce myself, right?” He started slowly and carefully looking around the room for any signs of who might have lived here previously. Family pictures, old letters, things of that nature. Mostly all that was left was damp and rot. “We’re not here to do you any harm. My name’s Connor, and this is my mate Rio. We just want to say hello.” 

A shiver ran down his spine. Where there would normally be some kind of outline of a person, all Connor could see was a vague shape, like someone had left the stove on. “Whoa.” He stepped back, getting a look at the viewfinder of the camera. “You see that? The orb. That’s one of them. But it’s not.. I mean they’re not… they’re just a shape.” 

Orion accepted his fate of embarrassing himself in front of his new friend and the potential hundreds of thousands of viewers that watched his videos and resigned himself to focusing on the video instead of pondering that any further. He liked the ease that Connor talked while the camera was around, as if he was just talking to friends. He definitely had a lot of charisma that Rio wished he could channel. “Hey there” Rio called out into the house as a response to Connor introducing the two of them to the spirits. 

Rio spun around at Connor’s sudden find and trained the camera towards the orb-like shape that floated across the house from them. Rio could feel goosebumps running along his arms, but tried his best to keep the camera steady as he slowly trailed behind Connor. Why could Rio see this? He didn’t know nearly enough about ghosts or spirits, clearly. He didn’t to find something in the Scribrary and start reading. Especially if he wanted to continue being friends with and helping Connor out. Rio took an instinctive step back, but managed to keep the camera pointed at the orb. “I hate this. Why is it just floating there?” Rio mumbled, worried that the ghost wasn’t that concerned with manners at all.

“You come here alone?” The voice was nothing more than a whisper, but it seemed to come from all directions. “Bold mistake.”

Okay. That was less than ideal. The camera (and most people who accompanied him) wouldn’t pick up what it was saying, so Connor always repeated it back. “They asked if we came alone, and said it was a bold mistake.” He paused. “Why?” he asked the spirit, his voice casually inquisitive. “Why is it bold? You’re not out to hurt us or something, are you? Seems a bit unnecessary.” He kept his voice casual, not wanting to provoke it. “You got your bracelet?” he whispered to Rio. His own rested on his wrist, a leather knotted piece of jewellery with a glass vial containing salt. “It isn’t a hundred per cent failsafe, but they help a lot. Kind of like a condom.”

‘What are you whispering about?’ It asked. ‘Are you making fun of me?’

“No, of course not. We’re just… talking about the best way to help you.” He’d heard of spirits like this. They weren’t really ghosts in that they couldn’t take a human form, but they could still possess people, usually those who were emotionally vulnerable and isolated. “Are you here alone? I thought a family lived here?” he asked, keeping it talking while he took some supplies out of his bag on a rotting, dusty dining room table.  

All of his life, Orion had been the one that heard everything. His stupid hunter hearing was temperamental, but it usually picked up on sounds too far away from any normal person to hear or too private for Rio to be listening in on. For once, Rio actually found himself frustrated that he couldn’t hear something. Knowing that the spirit was saying something that Rio couldn’t pick up on was nerve wracking and left him feeling vulnerable. “Can they hear me?” Rio asked Connor, taking a step closer to the ghost hunter as he tried to unpack his things. It seemed like he had a plan. Rio nodded a confirmation that raised his hand to show off the bracelet that he had tied against his wrist. The salt center made sense. It seemed like a pretty common supernatural deterrence. At least for things no longer alive. “Connor’s telling the truth. I can’t hear you, but neither of us are here to do any harm to you.” Rio felt useless. It wasn’t an uncommon feeling for Rio, but it was something that he hadn’t felt for awhile. For once, Rio had finally started to feel like he was able to help. Now, he was practically back to square one. But he took a step forward and tried to block Connor’s path. If Connor had a plan the least Rio could go was try to protect him.

“They can hear you,” Connor said. “Sorry, I… dunno what to call you,” he said to the specter. It swooped around the room. In the darkness, Connor couldn’t see it properly in its flimsy shape, but he figured it might be trying to possess one of them, hopefully to no effect. He drew out the circle in chalk on the ground, making use of the space Rio was blocking with his body. Hopefully it would respond to the same ritual that had got rid of Uncle Joe. 

‘This one is stupid,’ the ghasper said. 

“That’s not very nice,” Connor answered, looking at Rio sympathetically. “It said you’re stupid.” He wiped the chalk from his hands. “Some people just don’t know much about spirits. He’s new to this, mate, give him a break, yeah? So how long have you lived here? It’s… nice, apart from the structural issues and dust.” Connor was trying to keep it calm while he prepared his tools. 

‘I don’t know how long I’ve been here…’ it admitted. ‘Years. There’s always losers coming in. I took hold of them sometimes.’

“Must be lonely,” Connor answered after repeating its words to Rio so he was clued in. “Make sure you get this on camera, okay?” he whispered. 

A ghost had just called Orion stupid, and all he could think to do was chuckle. “That’s fair, but you might be surprised actually. Ghosts just aren’t really my specialty.” He turned around and glanced at Connor over his shoulder. Maybe that comment was a little more information than he needed to give to either Connor or the ghost, but his goal was to keep the ghost busy. Whether that was by peaking its curiosity or annoying it, Rio hoped that it was working. He spotted that Connor was drawing something and didn’t want to risk the ghost being able to see it, so he turned back towards the ghost. 

“I think I knew those losers.” Rio agreed with the ghost after Connor had translated, “I grew up around here. I’ve always heard people bragging about coming here. They were usually jerks.” He nodded silently to Connor and readjusted the camera a bit, hoping that even though he was clearly scared out of his mind he was able to keep calm enough that he wasn’t ruining the shot. “But Connor here isn’t a loser. He’s the real deal. And I think he can help you.”

“Aw, yeah, massive wankers, Rio told me all about ‘em,” Connor chimed in. “Can you do me a favor though? I’m trying to help you, yeah? But I need you to come closer so I can see you.” Connor had left his camera on the table with a wide view of the room so it could record anything Rio might have missed.

‘You two don’t seem lonely at all. Well, maybe the stupid one, a little bit, but I can tell he has love in his life.’ 

Connor shot Rio a look, giving a low chuckle before repeating the ghost’s words. At least Rio was getting some. 

“Nah, and nobody should be lonely, so… what do you say?” 

There was a poignant pause before the ghasper decided to take Connor up on his offer, fluttering closer, like a little badly formed cloud of smoke. Connor stepped back, beckoning, until it was in position, right there in his chalk circle.

“Sorry, mate. Can’t risk you possessing some other poor bugger that walks in here.” He picked up his book of rituals, holding the ceremonial dagger that operated as his focal point, starting to recite in Latin. The wind seemed to pick up, walls shaking as the ghasper tried to resist.

‘LIAR! You lying bastard. You will suffer eternal damnation. My brethren will rip your insides out and use them to string you up!’ 

And so the threats continued, but Connor kept his focus, feeling his energy deplete. With a hard gust of wind, the ghasper vanished, and the building was calm once again. Connor had to lean against the table to keep himself upright. 

“Bloody hell. Oof… still kind of new at that part,” he murmured. 

Connor was sweet talking the ghost. Orion stayed mostly silent from then on, assuming that Connor had a handle on the rest. It was impressive to watch. And certainly cemented the fact that Connor was the real deal. This definitely hadn’t been his first run in with a real ghost. So that must have meant that Connor’s other videos had been real too then? Fascinating.

Rio’s face turned red again once Connor repeated its words. Even the ghost was embarrassing Rio in front of the cameras now? That had to be a new low for Rio. He decided to just shrug against the words. He couldn’t believe that he had just been called stupid multiple times by the random ghost. Though Rio didn’t have much time to dwell on it. The ghost was coming closer to the two and Rio backed away behind Connor to let him take over, making sure to angle it so that both the orb and Connor could be seen in the shot. Once the ghost got into the circle that Connor had drawn, the ghost hunter pulled out a book and started reciting Latin. Rio was familiar with the words, Latin being the only language that his parents had actually supported the twins learning. This was an honest to god exorcism. The orb seemed to go crazy, and Rio could only imagine what it must be saying. And then, the thing vanished as if it had never been there in the first place. “Holy crap.” Rio stares quietly, staring at Connor in wonder, but soon the excitement took over and he was hopping up and down and repeating himself, “Holy crap! You just did that! That was so cool! I couldn’t even tell that you were a beginner.”

Connor caught his breath. It always took something out of you to perform an exorcism, but Connor was still learning. He wondered if it got easier the more you did it, but from the way some of the contacts he’d tracked down spoke about it, he doubted it. “Thanks,” he chuckled tiredly, but his pride was evident in his voice and his expression. “Probably makes me a bit of a masochist to say it was fun, right? Luckily ghaspers aren’t very strong or dangerous.” He straightened up, his energy slowly returning to him. “Alright mate, let’s go back to my place and we can grab a beer and I’ll show you how I edit.” He grinned. “Unless there’s somewhere else you’d rather be.”

Still reeling from the exorcism that he had just witnessed, Orion had no plans of cutting off now and heading home. He had hoped that he could get a look into editing at some point but hadn’t expected Connor to invite him over immediately following this. “Seriously?” Rio asked him, still a bit confused at the idea of someone wanting to hang out with him. He shouldn’t be anymore. He had made friends that he knew wanted to be around him. Rio just supposed he had almost twenty years of evidence to the contrary that always kept him a bit skeptical. But this was a new year for Rio. He wasn’t about to let those doubts hold him back. “I mean yeah, definitely. Nothing better to do at all.” He didn’t break the news to Connor that he didn’t really drink, but figured that wouldn’t be important once the two got to work cutting all the footage together. “I can stop by and grab food on the way? I know a great diner.”

#paras #with: orion #wickedswriting #with: rio