#i find it less weird when it's like here is my story about a world that doesn't exist and i've projected these people into it as like

[ao3commentoftheday]

Idk if this is too broad of a scope for this blog, but if you could answer this, it'd be great.

I've been in a writing rut since I started getting serious about writing, and I've identified the issue in the past month or so: I slant heavily on the gardener end of the writing spectrum and all the advice on writing I've ever seen was for architect-style writing. Not once in the eight years I've been serious about writing did I find any guides on gardener-style writing (and if it says it's gardener-style, it'sreally just architect-style with gardner aspects), and my experience has just been more or less jamming a square peg into a circle hole, getting nothing written and feeling bad about it.

Now I'm unlearning all the architect-style habits that are destructive to me as a writer, but I can't find any resources for gardeners aside from Stephen King's On Writing. If you or any of your followers know how to help a gardener's writing, that would be great. I have so many fic ideas I want to write, but can't since I'm learning to write all over again.

For those who don't know what gardener and architect refer to when it comes to writers, a gardener is a writer who starts with the seed of an idea and lets it grow in whatever direction the light shines. They prune it and weed it as they go but otherwise let the idea lead the way. An architect, on the other hand, plans their stories out first and then writes them. They have a structure and the details all mapped out first and then the writing is just executing on that vision.

As a gardener myself, my biggest piece of advice is to avoid writing advice. Like you've said, the majority of it is aimed at people who do things like plan and plot and worldbuild ahead of time. Because of the structure that that writing style enjoys, providing "one size fits most" writing advice works well for it.

I tend to find a lot of that advice to be counter to what I need to do. Planning a story out ahead just makes me feel like it's already written. Building out the world before I start writing it feels like a hollow exercise - more like writing an encyclopedia than developing a land and culture for my characters to inhabit.

What I find useful is taking an episodic approach to writing. The entire story will be like a season of a television show and each chapter is like one episode. I always have my eventual "season finale" end goal in mind, but any particular chapter can meander closer to or further from that goal. It's alright to take a circuitous route, as long as I get to my destination in the end.

It's also alright if my destination changes as I'm writing. Sometimes those meandering paths take me in a more interesting direction than I was originally going down, and that shifts the story. As long as you're vaguely following a three-act structure (or 5 act or 7 act), the flow of it will feel familiar to your readers and they probably won't really notice it happening.

This advice I'm giving might not ring true to you either. You didn't have a specific problem to address, so I've been wandering a bit in my reply. Really what it comes down to is paying attention to yourself and your needs. Figure out what it is that keeps you writing and what it is that makes you stop. Do more of the former and less of the latter - and don't worry if what you're doing is "weird" to someone else.

I write directly into the AO3 window (which AO3 specifically tells you NOT to do, btw) because drafting first in google docs or something takes the fun out of it for me. I post my chapters without previewing them first. I write in 800 to 1500 word sprints, and I focus on dialogue, and I almost always try to end on a joke or a pun or a cliffhanger. These are all things that make writing an activity that I want to do.

I can't really say anything much more specific given your ask, but I hope something in here was helpful. Let's see if any gardeners out there have some resources or advice that might work for you.

#asks and answers #long post

[coexistentialism]

Finding Your Identities: Figuring Out Your Alters When Your Alters Aren't "Distinct" "People"

I have been wanting to make this post for a very long time now.

I have talked countless times on this blog about how a lot of the "how to figure out your alters" lists do not and cannot apply to me, or systems who may be like me, for a variety of reasons.

We do not have distinct senses of selves, we don't feel like our own distinct individuals, in any way whatsoever. There is no specific, unique, distinct "cue" or feeling or anything that tells me I've switched, or tells me that a specific, distinct alter is fronting who is different from any other alters. There is no specific, distinct THING that tells me "okay yeah that was very obviously and specifically and undeniably a different alter."

It's easy to deny you have alters when your alters are not distinct individuals who know they are their own unique, separate selves. It's easy to deny you have alters when it always feels like "you."

If you don't experience your alters as distinct 'entities' where you can obviously and distinctly refer to them as "that is (that specific alter) and that is not (these other alters)", it can be nearly impossible to figure out your alters at all.

This has been a horrible aspect of my denial since essentially the beginning. I mean, when everything online tells you that DID involves a distinct sense of "not me" to it, how can you know if you have it if it doesn't feel that way to you?

Now obviously I DO have that feeling of "not me"... It's just not described using those specific words. I was taking it all way too literally (thanks, autism NFKDSFDKJ).

It's more like "I don't really feel that way anymore" or "yeah I felt that way, but not anymore."

Or "I don't really relate to that anymore" or "I don't really like this as my identity anymore" or "I don't like this name anymore."

Or "this feels like someone else's life" (but more of a feeling, it's not like I just suddenly don't know anything in my life anymore. I know my girlfriend and love her still and I know I live in this house, etc.)

I'll feel like I am attending therapy because I have to, or I'll feel like I'm relaying information that I know factually, as if I was told a story of things that happened and I have to relay that information to someone else.

Or just generally a weird feeling that something is off.

And that's the thing - dissociation (for me personally) is less like "things aren't real" and "I'm not real" and more like just a vague feeling that something is OFF, and you don't know what, and you can't explain it.

I remember as a kid feeling like I'm the "only conscious being" or "feeling like I'm in an anime" or "acting out a dramatic scene in a movie." Now all three of those descriptions still fall under "feeling like things aren't real/etc." but I never interpreted it that way, because of how literally I take things, I didn't make the connection, because I never used the SPECIFIC wording of "feeling like I'm not real/feeling like the world isn't real/etc."

I straight-up told one of the first therapists I saw for a DID diagnosis that I "don't really dissociate at all" because I don't really experience the "nothing is real/I'm not real/etc."

This, too, brought me a lot of denial, because people only describe dissociation as "things don't feel real", "you don't feel real", "you feel like you're floating", "you're watching yourself", "you're watching the world through fog/glass", etc. And because I never really used those specific words to explain my feelings and experiences, I figured I wasn't really experiencing any dissociation, or at least just very rarely and mildly so.

That's a key thing here - the WORD CHOICES being used to describe alters, systems, CDD experiences, etc. don't really match up with my experiences at all. I take things extremely, extremely literally, and when everybody describes their alters and refers to them as distinct, different people, it's hard to feel like your experiences are the more common experience, especially when people around you might continue to reinforce that denial, by assuming you must not have alters, or you have a different disorder, etc., because you are "always awake and present no matter what alter is fronting", etc.

Your personal interpretation of your experiences matters a LOT when it comes to CDDs, figuring out if you have a CDD, and it also plays a large role into how your system might present/feel/look/what alters you have/etc.

For example, many people interpreted their alter experiences and switches as creating characters. That, then, might become a huge aspect of figuring out your alters - you might realize that many of the characters you've made (or all of them) through the years were actually alters. With that lens, you might, then, be able to have a lot of knowledge about your alters based off of that alone - those "characters" might have specific characteristics, lore, designs, etc. that you then realize were all a part of that alter.

You might also, then, find that each time you find yourself making a "new" "character", it's actually just a new alter forming/splitting (or perhaps them just finding out their own identity).

The way you personally interpret your experiences, your feelings, your life, memories, etc. all impact your alters and your system - the way your alters identify, the way it FEELS when alters front, the way your system presents, etc.

I grew up believing I was making things up and lying for seemingly no reason, for attention, because I liked being cool and special. Or that I was purposely acting out a fake, dramatic movie, just to add more drama.

In reality, I was experiencing alter switches and dissociation, but because I interpreted it in those ways, we now have a very difficult time trying to accept and believe that these are real feelings, real experiences, outside of my control, instead of me just saying things for attention and acting dramatic just because.

I also very much grew up feeling like "nothing ever sticks, so why bother taking anything seriously." Now, pretty much all of us still have this attitude, this feeling of "why bother coming up with a name, why bother taking (my feelings, etc.) seriously when it's just gonna go away and not come back."

I would feel confident in a decision or an identity or a name change and so on, only for me to change it the next day, or the next week, and so on.

This made things like questioning my gender identity and wanting to change my name extremely difficult and impossible because I could never be sure if it was going to actually STICK or just be a temporary, fleeting "phase." I became upset (and still become upset and distressed) every time everything turned out to just be a "phase" instead of a real, actual thing. I still have trouble with this. If I want to cut my hair or dye my hair or get new clothes, I will never be able to know for sure if I'll still like it in a different state. If I want a name change, I don't know if it'll be long-term or if I will change my mind the next day.

DID is more like this, and less like "I'm a totally different person with a distinctly different personality and a different name and I am not ("host")."

And if this is relatable to you, this post may very much help you figure out who your alters are.

A lot of things online that try to give suggestions and ideas for figuring out your alters in a way of "ask (your alters) these questions."

For me, I can't really do that, for a variety of different reasons - our dissociative barriers are too high, there's no inner world, and there's no kind of "distinct voices" that I "hear" speaking to me that are coming from a distinctly different "person." And since we as alters do not experience ourselves as distinct individuals where we just know who we are and know we are our own distinct individuals, it's less like asking my alters these questions, and more like asking MYSELF these questions. I want you keep that in mind going into this post.

When it comes to figuring out alters, what helps me is trying to keep track of patterns of changes in my behaviors, likes, dislikes, hobbies/interests, and more.

The following is a TEMPLATE of things you can ask yourself at different times, during different moods, modes, self-states - whatever you wanna call it.

I tried to make them as general as possible in order to hopefully make the questions apply to a general audience/a wide variety of people, instead of being too specific where they might not apply to most people.

You do not have to ask yourself all of these questions! If you don't know the answer to a question, and/or you don't want to answer a question, it can be important to write that down too! You can skip any questions or change them in any way you like.

If a question feels unhelpful to you, feel free to change it into something that might feel more helpful to you personally, and/or just remove it altogether.

Feel free to expand upon these questions! For example, if a question seems helpful to you, you might have further ideas to expand upon that question into further, more specific questions. I actually totally encourage other people to expand upon these questions and come up with more questions that could help others! Definitely share your thoughts in reblogs if you want.

I want to make it clear, first, that this post is NOT trying to make people OBSESS over this!!!! These questions are meant to help figure out alters, but don't obsess over it!

The purpose of these questions is to simply try and keep track of possible patterns of behaviors, etc., not to obsess over figuring out your alters, not to obsess over figuring out what alter you are, not to obsess over making sure your alters are "consistent all the time" or something. It doesn't matter about knowing "who" you are so much as it matters to let yourself exist as you are, at any given moment. It's to allow yourself to exist and see if there is a pattern of emotions, opinions, preferences, likes, dislikes, interests/hobbies, behaviors, and more that crop of every so often - this is what alters are for a lot of people. Like I said, it's less like "distinct, separate person" and more like a recurring pattern of the same/similar emotions/behaviors/traits/etc. that crop up every so often, oftentimes in response to things, such as topics that you may find triggering (for example: feeling like an angry wolf every time the topic of physical abuse comes up, or feeling like a scared child when you feel like someone said something upsetting), or even positive topics, such as feeling like you become a girl whenever the topic of fashion gets brought up, or feeling like you're 13 when the topic of a childhood beloved TV show comes up.

While "feeling like (xyz) in response to (xyz)" does not necessarily mean you have a CDD, this post is specifically about those experiences under the context of having a CDD. If you relate to anything I wrote in this post, it does not necessarily mean you have a CDD! Similarly, if you DON'T relate to anything in this post, it also doesn't mean you DON'T have a CDD! I am sharing this post with the assumption that the people reading it already know they have a CDD, and/or strongly suspect it.

Questions to ask myself for figuring out alters:

Month day, year. Time (or whatever way you want to write down the month/day/year/time).

What name(s) do I like?:

This doesn't have to be names of specific alters (by that I mean, you don't have to go through your list of alters with specific names to figure out if you like one of them). You can write a vague idea of what name/names you might like (such as "a name related to plants" or "a name that reminds me of the ocean"). You can write down multiple names. You can write down no name. You can write down that you're indifferent. Anything!

What pronouns do I like?:

Again, you can write down anything. If multiple sets of pronouns vibe, write that down! If nothing vibes, write it down! If you don't have any strong feelings/if you're indifferent, write that down too! If you don't know, write that down!

Are there any particular labels I feel drawn to/feel I identify with?:

It can be an LGBTQ+ label (bisexual, demiboy, aromantic, lesbian, etc.), or a label related to something else

What kind of color(s) am I drawn to?:

Darker colors? Pastel colors? Neon colors? Light colors? Etc.

What do I want to do? What would I do if I had the resources (time, money, 'skill', motivation, energy, etc.) (for example, maybe you wish you could play guitar, but you can’t play guitar, don’t have a guitar, etc.)?:

Similarly, is there anything that I might normally be interested in that I find myself no longer wanting to do?:

-- Listening to music: What songs? Am I singing along? What are the songs about? How do I feel about the music? Are there any songs I dislike? Any particular common genre/theme with the music I find myself liking right now?

-- Art: - What kind of art (Digital art? Doing makeup? Sculpting? Knitting? Painting? Woodworking? Photography? Any art counts.) - What is my art style like/what tools am I using? (If digital art, what program am I using? What brushes am I using? Etc. (Different alters might prefer to use different art programs and different art brushes!)) - What does the artwork depict? (Vent art? Are there themes of trauma? Dissociation? Fanart? Something else?)

-- Playing a game: - What game? - What am I doing in the game? Are there different game modes? If so, what mode am I playing? Is my character customizable, and if so, how does my character look? (Some alters might prefer to change the way the character looks to match how they might feel inside!) - Are there any games I don't currently care for?

-- Watching YouTube: - What is the topic of the video? (Is it about a hobby I like? A TV series? A video essay? Something else?)

-- Playing an instrument: - What instrument? - Am I trying to learn a specific song/songs? - Am I making my own music? Are there lyrics to go along with it? - If it’s a specific song (either writing your own, or trying to learn how to play a certain song on an instrument), what is it about? Any specific themes that stick out?

-- Writing: Poetry? Working on a book/short story? What is it about? What genre? (Romance? Non-fiction? Etc.) Is it fanfiction?

-- Reading: What am I reading? What is it about? What genre? (Romance? Non-fiction? Etc.) Is it fanfiction?

-- Something else…

What am I thinking about?

What am I talking about?

How am I feeling?

Did something trigger me to feel this certain way?

If something triggered me to feel a certain way, do I know the reason(s) why? (For example, if you encountered something that brings up trauma-related feelings, etc.)

You might describe your feelings in ways other than a simple “sad”, “mad”, or “happy.” You might be more specific, such as “I feel like white noise” or “I feel like a dog” or “I feel like an ocean.” This is completely valid and an important thing to keep note of as well. You can even write down that you feel tall, or you feel a different age, or you feel like a certain character.

There are many more questions that you could ask 'yourself' to get to know 'yourselves.' This list is not exhaustive, and like I said, you can simply you this template to bounce off ideas of what questions you, personally, would find most helpful!

I'd love to hear anybody's input, and I hope this post helps anyone. :] If not, feel free to share around anyway, if you want!

#my posts #actuallyDID #actuallyosdd #osdd system #did system

[antimony-medusa]

Okay so, the thing about Boundaries, and why people keep bringing them up over and over again to creators, is I think there's a bit of a desire for what people are doing here to not be weird. Cause like, the creator signed off on it, so like, I'm fine and you can't make fun of me or get mad at me.

And like, I understand the desire to not be made fun of or have people get mad at you, believe me, I know, but I think we have all just gotta accept that what we're doing is— it's a little weird, bro.

Like by definition what fandom is is getting a little too much into your thing. Fan comes from Fanatic. We all saw some block men and we went way too hard with it. And I think that sufficiently viewed from the outside, there is just no way to do any kind of transformational creation and it not be weird to the wrong people.

Like, taking a character and making them miserable? One of the honourable fandom traditions, whether you're whumping them or if you go hard into comfort at the end. For someone entirely outside of fandom, that's just like why are you DOING that, bro, and when you add in the fact that we're using people's real names (well, gamer tags), there's no way for that not to be odd. "The creator said it was okay" is not going to make people go ??? any less. (Let me emphasize that this is fine, it's just like, also, you bring that up on the bus and peope go ????)

Let's look at fluff. You want to write about your characters in a coffee shop au? You want to write about your characters in a cuddly family dynamic, taking care of each other? You want to age down characters and write kid fic where they learn to face the challenges of the world and it's just so cute and you love them so much even if nothing really bad happens? I promise you that my non-fandom parents are gonna be like "why are you spending your time on that" and again, if you throw in the "is this real people" (it isn't, but that is a delicate thing to explain), you're looking at people staring at you in discomprehension and backing away.

Shippy stuff. Again, one of the honourable fandom traditions. You just love your guys and you want to write about how much they love each other (or maybe make it tragic about how only one person can make it out of the cactus ring). You spent all this time thinking about their feelings writing it out. You write out a kiss scene. It makes you flail happily. Most people don't do that! Absolutely fun to do? Yes! Something you can bring up as an ice breaker at the company potluck? Probably not! We are too much into the characters, and that's fine, but it's still gonna look a bit odd from the outside!

Plotty gen. You're writing an entire new story, but you're taking existing characters for it? Like it's original fiction, but you're using existing characters? Why not just write original fiction <I have had this conversation. Oh, you're writing a story about minecraft characters, and they— they get tortured? Like it starts with them being tortured? <also a fun conversation to be in.

I'm mostly thinking about this from the fanfiction side, but art, meta— we are just getting into things way too much. We're spending hours on this stuff. We drew the creators minecraft sonas in maid dresses. There are millions of words of fiction on the archive about every conceivable universe of good/bad things happeing to the characters. It is a primary hobby, where I could be learning piano or paying attention to sports. And I'm not, and like, that's fine.

I am here to tell you that people absolutely might find what we're doing weird, and also it's entirely fine. I just ran a poll about the sexiest minecraft character that got 68k votes on the most voted poll. And then I had to explain that to my doctor to explain why I didn't really have a normal baseline for the past week to compare to. (Doctor visibly thought it was weird but he was also like "you go" because he's a good doctor, but I had to start with explaining minecraft because he knew NOTHING about what I was talking about.) You just gotta accept that fandom is for a small segment of the population, we are all having fun with ourselves, and it's for us, it's not for the general population, and stop trying to make it palatable to people who don't care to understand. People on this site keep saying "racist white boys" and then they don't have the intellectual curiosity to pursue further as to why maybe that's not true, having a boundaries post is not going to make them nicer. It's fine. They're being jerks, we're just having fun.

And like, stop trying to get the creator to sign off on it. Accept that sometimes we're being weird and they can look at it if they want to see the weird fanatics going too hard with the characters. They will tell us if we're doing something they want to stop associating with their name, and up until that point, just accept that what we're doing is weird, and have fun with it.

We're weird.

Be more weird 2k23.

Have fun with it.

I wrote a time travel AU in DMs with a friend last night about a bird man and a minecraft piglin. Not normal. It's FINE.

#discourse #mcyt #medusas banger posts #fandom meta

[alastairstom]

I think I've figured out how to articulate something fandom related that I've been thinking for a while, so I'm going to try.

For context, I've been a TSC fan for over a decade, primarily into TLH (even when we had nothing but portraits and Nothing But Shadows). I've seen the tides of the fandom change more than a lot of people can fathom. And I consistently find that the space we're in now, the "between series" space, is my favourite time period for fandom.

Part of this is that the fandom gets smaller and less insane when we're in this in-between - while the books are being published, tons of people come in, argue, start drama for no reason. It's unmanageable. 2020 was a fucking nightmare, probably the worst one, but there have always been nutty masses when the series are actively being published and at their prime time.

But that isn't all.

It's that the people who stick around during these in-between gray areas are those of us who actually love the books, the world, the canon. We're by and large the people who want to stick with it and feel positively about the series, the creator, the world building, and the characters. Sure, we have criticisms - naturally! But they're made with love and respect, and we don't attack Cassie or other fans about it. We're excited rather than angry, and that overarching energy makes the fandom a much more wholesome space instead of the toxic cesspool that it is when people are sticking around to hate-read it and dump on all aspects of the series.

I'm thinking about this now because TWP coming in 2026 (not surprising to me and actually 100% reasonable given how publishing works) gives us more time to live in this space. To enjoy the fandom without the unnecessary drama of weird antis who want to hate read every release and attack people who actually like the books and world for what they are.

I'm in a pretty unique place now with the book canon where "my" series is done (with the exception of a novella and 3 short stories). That's brought me both a weird amount of peace and a pretty new, interesting perspective even if it's Sad. I feel like I'm on the other end of things. And I really hope the TWP peeps enjoy this time, because some of my best memories and connections were made at 3 AM chatting with the other 3 people who liked TLH best in 2017. It's in hope, it's in theorizing, it's in anticipation, and it's here that we can truly connect and thrive and love.

#in my feelings #twp #the wicked powers #tlh #the last hours #cassandra clare

[foone]

My one bit of advice I think every gamer should hear:

GO PLAY OUTER WILDS.

Seriously. It is easily one of my top 5 games of all time, and that's mainly because I'm being cagey about if it's the #1, because it probably is.

It's a game where you're a little alien who is taking their first flight into space, in their little spaceship. You go to space and find a mystery, and have to figure it out.

It's a game entirely about learning things about the world you're in: it's a tiny solar system modeled amazingly well, with varied planetary environments, archaeology, and quantum fun.

It's a game that's hard to talk about without spoiling, because it's about solving the mysteries. There used to be some other aliens here, they're long gone. What happened to them? Their whole society was built around trying to find something: what was it? Did they find it? And there's a weird disastrous event that keeps happening, why? Can you stop it? Should you stop it? Is it connected to the other weird things that keep happening? What happened to that ice planet that exploded with vines? One of the astronauts who came before you was the best pilot who ever lived, but they vanished. What happened to them? And why can you sometimes hear their harmonica over the radio when you point it at your own planet?

The game is wonderful and non-linear and the most unique approach to a Metroidvania I've seen years: it's basically "what if we did the Metroidvania idea but with no items or power ups? What if the thing that you got to unlock new areas WAS INSIDE THE PLAYER'S HEAD?"

Because you don't unlock the next area by picking up the high-jump boots, you unlock it by learning something new. Now you can do something you didn't realize you could before, but now you know you can.

And that's only one of the amazing concepts they stuffed in this game. The itemless Metroidvania, the tiny simulated solar system, the quantum mechanics... Each of these alone could be enough to carry an indie game. They stuffed them all in one game combined with a great story, and that's in a gamewith relatively little dialogue!

There's like a dozen people to talk to, but you spent a lot of time reading conversations left by the long-gone aliens. You get to know them, what they were working for, how they interacted, and what happened to them, thousands of years later. It's less the bioshock style audio-logs, and more like going over bits of ancient writing, making connections and correlations from the fragments you can find.

And don't get me wrong, this might sound like this game is going to be dry and boring: it is so very not. It is a game about mysteries in the void of space, the death of a civilization, and the potentially world-ending dangers that face a living one, and even bigger concepts. It could so easily be a cosmic horror, about the cold death of space and the universe itself, and the nihilism of realizing that even a race that could cross the gap between the stars and bend spacetime to their will... They too died out. If they couldn't make it, what hope do you have, in your little spaceship that's primarily made of WOOD?

And yet... The game is always engaging. It has a few scares, and space is never a safe place to be, but it maintains a sense of humor and wonder. Yes, the universe can be scary, but it's also amazing. And you're just a little salamander-guy who wants to see it all, and figure out all the things. Maybe you don't know something yet, but tomorrow is a new day, and you can go blasting off to another planet, find some writing in a city suspended upside down over a black hole, try to fly into the core of a water planet, dodge giant anglerfish inside the warped space of an exploded planet, and try to explore an ancient city that's slowly filling with sand. It is a game about Things Ending, and it refuses to give into despair. It is one of the most relentlessly optimistic games I have ever played.

And the experience of playing it is so unique. This isn't a game where you could watch a letsplay and only get spoiled on some plot points, it's a game where the fundamental gameplay loop is about learning things. You should try it for yourself. It's got hints and many different avenues to explore (and it even keeps track of them for you, in case you forget!), so you don't have to worry much about getting stuck for too long. You can always put aside a "puzzle" and come back later, after you've learned more. (I put puzzle in quotes because it's not exactly a puzzle game. It's more of a mystery game. You aren't solving a logic puzzle or putting the pegs into the right holes, you're asking "Why is this like this? Where does this go? What is this for?" and then figuring that out from clues)

It's like 25$ on steam, and you can get it for Playstation and Xboxes as well (sadly no Switch version. They were working on one but it seems that version has stalled, with no announced release date)

You can probably get it for like 10$ if you're patient and wait for a sale.

One final note: there's also a DLC. The DLC is fully self-contained, in that you won't miss anything playing the main game without it. It basically adds a huge side-area to the game which goes and fills in some gaps in the history, explains some things, and introduces some more variety to the Outer Wilds universe.

It's utterly amazing, too. It's basically Outer Wilds 2 in everything but name, but it's totally fine to just grab the base game and play that. You can always come back and grab the DLC later if you want more Outer Wilds.

Seriously. To sum up, Outer Wilds is one of the greatest games ever made, it won a ton of awards, and it should have won more. They should invent more gaming awards just to give to Outer Wilds. This is one of the games that is going to be talked about in future "history of gaming" classes and put on lists of the 50 most groundbreaking and influential games, alongside things like Myst and King's Quest and Zork and Mass Effect. It's just that good, that groundbreaking.

#Outer Wilds

[kdrama-mama]

Just sitting here thinking about how I don’t understand why Wedding Plan wasn’t more popular. The story was sweet, chemistry was excellent between the couples, it highlighted a real world issue many queer folks have to navigate, the NC scenes were sexy as hell - it was up there with one of the best BLs I’ve watched honestly.

I find it so weird how people shit on Mame so often for being “problematic” and yet they didn’t want to watch a series she put out that was totally unproblematic? The worst thing is Lom misleading Nuea and his mother, but if you listen, you realize he was very carefully *not* lying, and simply skirting the truth because he was in a very difficult situation. (Do they really love the “problematic” content but feel the need to publicly loudly pretend otherwise? Maybe)

Or they wrote it off completely because they didn’t like the kiss between the GL couple? It makes zero sense to me, and I have seen many people say that. There was a whole discussion on one Reddit thread I saw. And yeah, I agree that Katheryn did not do a good job with the kissing - Aya was clearly trying, but wasn’t given much to work with. But they weren’t the main couple, the main couple had excellent kisses, and they were so freaking adorable in all their other scenes. I really want to see Aya in a GL where she’s the lead.

Whenever I tried to engage on Twitter or a bit on here, it was like nobody was talking about it. Aya liked some of my tweets, and I honestly think she saw it just because so few people were tweeting about the episodes!

Or there’s people who wouldn’t watch it bc they thought Mame was using Boss, Noeul, Fort, and Peat for “clout,” when their cameos made perfect sense and were incredibly sweet moments for two of my favorite BL couples! I was so happy to have those sweet moments of closure for their stories.

Anyway, if you didn’t watch Wedding Plan for whatever reason, I highly encourage you to watch it! I’m sad I can’t get the special episode legally in the US, I would have bought it. I suspect she didn’t have it available in as many countries as Love in the Air because it was less popular.

#the wedding plan #wedding plan #wedding plan the series #love in the air #love in the air the series #payurain #rainpayu #skyprapai #prapaisky #lomnuea #nuealom

[flamebringer0]

About Hivewings

My husband was posting WOF headcanons so I will try posting one too. Why are Hivewings so weird? Here is what I think.

“Yes, of course,” Lady Scarab snapped. “Maybe they weren’t called SilkWings back then. ShimmerWings or Flibbertigibbets or something in the old language, I don’t know. But Clearsight married one, and then another one when the first one died, and had an alarming number of dragonets with each one, and then their dragonets and their dragonets’ dragonets kept going, marrying Ye Olde SilkWings or what have you, until there was enough of them to be considered their own tribe. HiveWings. Stupid menacing name, if you ask me. It was only about five hundred years ago that we officially split into two separate tribes, you know. My charming great-great-grandmother was the queen who ordered no more mingling of the bloodlines. She was a nightmare.”

This is where Hivewings allegedly come from, but it doesn't really make any sense to assume this actually happened the way she describes it. Clearsight came to Pantala around the year 3000, and the Hivewings as a separate tribe apparently came into existence around the year 4500. That means there must have been ~1500 years in which the Beetlewings (the actual name of the "ye olde Silkwings") existed as a single breeding population with her genes in it. It hardly seems possible that by the year 4500 there could be one subset of the Beetlewing population that was descended from Clearsight and another that wasn't.

As you trace a subject's family tree back, the number of ancestors doubles in each generation: two parents, four grandparents, eight great grandparents, etc. Eventually you reach a point in time where the subject should apparently have more ancestors than the total number of living people. This discrepancy is explained by individual ancestors occupying more than one position in the subject's pedigree, which is known as pedigree collapse. This has some counterintuitive implications, like the fact that in the real world, every living human of European ancestry is descended from Charlemagne, and also from every other European who lived before the 10th century and has any modern descendants at all.

If we compare the situation with Clearsight to the situation with Charlemagne, most of the variables seem to point to this effect being even more pronounced in her case. Dragons have shorter generation times than humans (Fathom was a father at 11), she lived ~1500 years before the present as opposed to ~1300, and the population of Pantala seems to be much smaller than the population of Europe. So I find it highly unlikely that there are any Pantalans at all who aren't descended from Clearsight.

What seems more reasonable to me is that Clearsight made some small genetic contribution to every Beetlewing living in 4500, and the conception of the Hivewings specifically as her true heirs is just propaganda. What I imagine is that the Beetlewings of 4500 had developed the folk belief that dragons with more black in their scales had a closer connection to Clearsight, who was essentially deified at that point. This belief was completely wrong. Beetlewings had always come in many different colors and patterns, with and without black, and by 4500 essentially nobody was more or less related to Clearsight than anyone else. But if you have the ambition to found a tribe, none of that really matters; what matters is how well you can tell a story. It turned out that the first queen of the Hivewings told the "dragons with black scales are the true heirs of Clearsight" story well enough to split away from the Beetlewings and create a new tribe. It might also be that there was already an established tendency in 4500 for black Beetlewings to breed among themselves to try and conserve their imagined connection to Clearsight, which would only have made it easier to formally split the tribe.

Of course when the Hivewings and the Silkwings first became established as separate tribes, there wouldn't really have been any difference between them, genetically. But over the course of 500 years, Silkwings with black in their scales and Hivewings without would tend to leave the tribes they hatched in and settle down in the other. Over time, this had the effect that the two groups really did become differentiated by the presence or absence of black scales, and by the present it has become very rare for a Silkwing with black scales or a Hivewing without to hatch at all.

The other differences between the two tribes could perhaps be explained by genetic linkage, although i guess it might be a stretch to assume that real world genetics apply to WOF dragons to that degree. Most of what i've said so far, i feel like it follows naturally from things that are actually attested about the setting, but maybe it's silly to say "yeah dragons definitely have chromosomes and their genes are laid out linearly so black scales can be tied to apparently unrelated features like not having antennae". I'm just saying it's possible.

Another weird thing about Hivewings is that they seem to have way too many random powers. In most of the tribes there are only like one or two powers that only some individuals have, and they are rare. Mudwings have a few fireproof dragons, Skywings have a few firescales, Nightwings have a few psychics. But Hivewings have stingers in their tails, poison fangs, boiling acid attacks, and probably other things I don't even know about. And it seems like these features are relatively common in the population, but not universal. Why is the distribution so weird?

What I think is, hatching with random features like this is something that happens in every tribe, it's just usually very rare, and the tribes all react differently. If a Rainwing hatches with a sting in their tail, everyone says "oh, funny, you must have a Sandwing ancestor somewhere", and that's the end of it. If a Skywing hatches with a sting in their tail, their parents probably rip it off so they won't be ordered to kill their dragonet. And if a Hivewing hatches with a sting in their tail, they get black-bagged and sent off to a government breeding facility to try to increase the prevalence of tail stingers in the population.

Like the Hivewings practicing eugenics is more or less canon, right? They force Silkwings to breed at the whims of the queen to acquire more flamesilks, so it's not that hard for me to imagine they do it to their own tribe as well. Honestly when I was first reading arc 3 I felt like this one must be canon, because the strangeness of the Hivewings having so many more powers than every other tribe felt really significant to me. Nothing about it ever came up, and I'm left to assume that the canon explanation is really meant to be "no, they're just like that for some reason". But I think this makes sense and is in line with the nasty authoritarian nature of Hivewing society.

#wings of fire #wof #wof hivewing #wof silkwing #wof clearsight #wof headcanon #wof beetlewing #headcanon #hivewing #clearsight #beetlewing #silkwing

[lizardsfromspace]

On the note of early creepypasta, shout out to the Holders, the proto-SCP Foundation in that it was the first thing to fill the niche of "big collaborative horror story about weird artifacts". The set up was always "In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway house you can get yourself to. When you reach the front desk, ask to visit someone who calls himself "The Holder of the [word]" instead of containment procedures

Reading over it now you kinda get why the SCP Foundation became bigger, though. Both have set formats, but SCPs are more freeform. A statue that kills you when you aren't looking, a vending machine vending interdimensional snacks, living Origami dragons in a magic box, a infinite IKEA, and a humanphobic Lovecraftian terror writing messages on a window are all equally SCPs. But every Holder is more or less the same. You go to the same place to go find a cursed artifact. If you bring them together the world will end. I once tried to read them all in a row and got bored since so many are essentially the same, and there's not really room to imagine something weirder given the strict format (though there are format-breaking ones here and there, my fave was one from the POV of the person at the desk who tells them where the Holder is). So many are basically "this one you read before, but edgier" and it's way more repetitive than reading over even the earliest SCPs

The other thing with the Holders lore-wise is like. Why are people seeking them. Almost every artifact gives you a fate worse than death but a lot of them don't have like...a benefit, any kind of Faustian boon you get at the cost of the horrible fate. How do they even know what's in each one if they're unavoidably fatal

Also I first experienced The Holders via this old website that combines it with a list of "Easter eggs" & excerpts from "Myths Over Miami" and that's their ideal form tbh

#creepypasta

[ghostflowerhotpotch]

Why I consider Miguel replacing his own self so bad?

Originally this was going to be a response to a post someone else did, but then I feel I was being mean to people just enjoying a character, so I repurposed it. Is funny because before that post I wasn't planning on doing this but that one got the words out of me somehow.

As disclaimer; I don't think there is anything wrong with liking Miguel, or any character of this movie. It doesn't matter what Miguel may or may not had done in this movie, or if your headcanons and ideas align with how he is in canon or not.

I also feel that regardless of what I think it went down in this situation, I can't call Miguel evil; I would have some words about what I think later in this post, but I don't think when he did what he did he was doing it because ~evil~

With all that out of the way, let's start with this:

The way he talks about the ordeal makes me uneasy.

You know why I find this unsettling? That this is about himself.

I understand that Miguel is narrating this story from his perspective, and is about his mistake, so by that, you wouldn't need to bring up anyone else. You can even make the argument it may be too painful for him if you want.

So why I still have a problem?

Because the narration isn't the only problem I have with this, in fact, what I find the most disturbing, is the following part.

Here is my thing...Don't you find odd how quickly he found out about this?

Think about it; it would be weird that he was just looking on the Multiverse, saw a version of himself with a nice, happy family, and just at that moment that person got killed, so he step in.

I had seen someone made the argument that he did what did because he was thinking of Gabby, however, nothing on his demeanour or words makes me think this was about anyone that wasn't himself.

Let's go back to those pics.

Want to know why I posted two that are basically the same? Because what's important is Miguel's face.

He is completely stoic.

We see Miguel seeing the body at the same time the mugger is running away, this makes me believe it was implied he watched at least the guy get away. But when Miguel appears on the screen, it is already watching the image, it doesn't make me think he just popped up the screen and saw it play at the moment he got killed.

Much less because he looks so calm, like he was expecting this to happen.

I don't know how much Miguel can see in future events, I believe there is some capacity because he said to Miles that his dad will die in two days. That may be because is when he becomes a Captain and his words are more speculation than actual confirmation. It could also be that at that moment he didn't have the means to look into it.

But all this footage makes me believe he saw his other self try to do the right thing, get killed, and then came in.

This wasn't about preserving the canon, this is in theory, before he knew how "canon works" (because he affirms the universe collapsed because he try to take the place of someone who was suppose to die. At least that was the impression it gave me.) So is not like there was any reason to not step in and help him.

This is going into speculation territory, so feel free to say this is a reach, but...was there really no way to save the other Miguel?

It gave me the impression the guy used just one bullet, unless is in specific places, normally one bullet wouldn't be enough. More important, Miguel is from the future, his world can make travel to the moon as if it is just going on the highway; are you telling me that if Miguel wanted to help to save this guy's life, was there really nothing he could?

Like sure, he doesn't need to, this isn't this problem and not his story, he shouldn't interfere.

Except that he did, to replace him.

And that's why I consider his initial speech so disturbing.

Let me put all together what Miguel said:

"I found a world where I had a family. Where I was happy. And that version of myself was killed. So I replace him. I thought it was harmless."

This entire discourse is about himself, with no real thought put into how Gabby, or anyone else may feel. Miguel keeps saying "family," which makes me think it was more than just Gabby, since I don't see why he wouldn't just say daughter if it was only her. That being say I am praying that I am wrong.

My heart really breaks for the other Miguel, he just wanted to do the right thing, he didn't have any powers or special abilities but he still try to help this lady that he probably didn't even know.

And what he got?

That his family will not mourn him, that none of his love ones would go to his funeral (I doubt there was one.) That the people who loved him can't even begin to deal with the mourning process.

Because Miguel, wanted a family.

I am sorry, but I can't help to feel this was en egoistic action when literally there is no mention of ever thinking of anyone that wasn't him; you can try to argue that the "harmless" part also included every other person who knew that Miguel, since they now don't need to go through the pain of a funeral.

But Miguel wasn't that Miguel, if there is something the multi-verse has shown us, is that different versions of a character don't need to be the same, in fact is not odd to not be.

I mentioned this in the past, but if I feel my boyfriend was acting odd, and then discover that he got replaced by another version of himself, just because this one wanted to have a partner- It makes my blood boil; I would personally feel outraged.

Because it should be my decision, which is removed completely of the equation because someone decided they knew me better than me, so they could take decisions on my behalf.

And if I heard him talk, and realize all he ever mentioned was about him and what he wanted? Oh that's one easy slap to the face minimum.

I don't think Miguel had nefarious intentions by doing this, the problem is that he does the thing he literally does the rest of the movie: Assume his idea is the right call, no think twice about asking anyone's opinion, and then blame it on something else when things start to go south.

(If you want an easy example: Literally blaming Gwen for the fiasco with Miles, as if the guy didn't literally scared Miles off when Peter was THIS close to making him go with him.)

Hope anyone liked it! If you did, please consider either commissioning me or donating to my ko-fi, and if not please reblog!

Have a good night.

#atsv #across the spiderverse #miguel o' hara #the spider society #gabby o'hara #I am really starting to get close to the wasp nest with a bat #not sure if I should be more afraid or bite the bullet #atsv files

[therealtsk]

What Your Favorite Worm Ship Says About You

some people have found my crusty, old ass tumblr post on this very topic, so im making a new one with my updated opinions! Cause those are, in fact, allowed to change. Enjoy! Taylor x Lisa: you're into relationships that could be dysfunctional or healthy with one push in either direction. also something something sun lesbian moon lesbian. Taylor x Rachel: You love dogs, and you want a girlfriend who can kick your ass. You're also into bomber jackets. I respect you. Taylor x Alec: Sadly, you do exist, and you did make it weird. Go away! Taylor x Amy: You read altpowers on the daily and complain about canon worm being too grimdark. Solid odds on you having never read worm. To be clear, it's worse if you have. also something something FBI OPEN UP Taylor x Victoria: You like the vibes of Lisa and Taylor's dynamic, but you want them to be a little more heroic and a little less dysfunctional. But only a little. Taylor x Clockblocker: You're straight and liked that one joke that cropped up. I also haven't seen any of you in a hot minute, thank god. No offense but this ship is mad boring.

Taylor x Sophia: You've come to realize that Sophia is a great character who gets done extremely dirty by the rest of the fandom. Also, rivals to lovers. Taylor x Emma: This can go one of two ways. Either you adore childhood friends to lovers, or you love enemies to lovers. Either way, you're obsessed with hurt and/or comfort fics. Taylor x Theo: You actually read Worm and recognize that Theo is criminally underrated in the fandom. Now just stop shipping him with Taylor and you'll complete the next step on your journey to enlightenment.

Taylor x Simurgh: I can't say for sure you're a anime fan, but you're definitely at least a little bit of a monsterfucker. also something something inherent eroticism of being world-destroying power couple. Taylor x Greg. You read Worm SI's unironically and get really defensive when people say that Greg is an incel. Completely unrelated, you haven't spoken to a woman other then your mother in five years. Taylor x Cherie: I've been informed this is a ship. I've yet to be informed as of a reason why I should like it. Cherie likers stay mad!

Lisa x Rachel: I don't remember the last time I saw this ship that wasn't also tagged as a polycule with Taylor, so I'm going to go out on a limb and say you're an OT3 enjoyer.

Lisa x Victoria: You’re into the “enemies to lovers” trope, but more of the "Spiderman x Black Cat" type then the "you murdered my entire home town but i can't help but find you sexy" type. Also you have a thing for blondes

Lisa x Faultline: Your ideal relationship dynamic is bickering married couple. You're also into heist movies.

Lisa x Simurgh: You have a thing for smart girls... who hate you. Also, you really liked Part of the Whole.  Contessa x Alexandria: You're fucking based. Also something something inherent eroticism of girlbosses winning Contessa x Numberman: you're friends with Peri and enjoy memes about pants and math Numberman x Jack Slash: You think serial killers are hot and are starved for m/m ships. Danny x Eidolon: You're losersexual and are starved for m/m ships. Also you frequent r/wormemes Danny x Miss Militia: Honestly, i think you all died out. I couldn't be happier, this ship is fucking dumb. Amy x Literally Anyone Besides Taylor: listen, there's like a hundred different jokes i could make here, but all of them boil down to amy defenders always defending the rapist for some reason so let's just agree amy defenders are fucking cringe and move on Dragon x Defiant: You understand that this is unironically the only healthy relationship in worm with some of the best character growth and romance in the entire story, and a majority of all of it happens off screen. You're extremely bitter that so many fanfics do both of them so dirty they get beaten into different characters. Alec x Aisha: You like the idea of this ship, cause two pranksters making everyone miserable is the kinda vibe you enjoy, but constantly run into the issue that Alec is...well. Alec. That or you're into Alec's brand of shit, in which case, FBI OPEN UP Aisha x Missy: You read It's Cold Out There Every Day. I did too. Fuck, this fic is so good. I'm going to go cry about the ending again. Lily x Sabah: Yes, you know the age gap is a little problematic, you just want to be happy with your relatively healthy canon lesbians goddamn it Purity x Literally Anyone: You don't understand why people keep calling you racist. You're not! You're just weirdly defensive of the hot milf who murders people of color and seem to constantly bring up that Kaiser didn't actually believe the nazi propaganda he was peddling. You are racist btw Taylor x Brian: You...are Wildbow

#worm #parahumans #wormblr #shipping #all of my opinions are objectively correct btw #if you disagree with me you are wrong and must improve yourself #@ everyone reading this and being upset i didn't include your incredibly niche ship: stay mad #jokes aside im only including stuff i've actually seen in like. #more then one or two fics

[alchemistc]

You can find part one of this headcanon that I should really just fic at this point (but won't because that's a commitment I will 100% abandon 120k words in when there's still 10 more chapters to go) here.

Have some more "Eddie befriends a concussed Steve after season 2 headcanons-that-are-basically-fic-at-this-point"

Steve gives himself two blissful weeks of Eddie Time before he starts his job hunt, and Eddie pouts about it like the world is coming to an end. Offers to pay for Steve's gas and insurance himself because he really, really enjoys the bubble they've built themselves full of kissing and fucking and talking until six in the morning about nothing and everything and Eddie is only marginally more well-adjusted than Steve is about Love.

"Sure, yeah, my dad throws a fit because I don't get into college, and you think he'll react to 'hey in the same vein, I'm also a raging homo and my drug dealer boyfriend wants me to be his kept man' with anything but violence."

Eddie rants about capitalist greed while Steve gathers applications from shops in the mall, glares at the Sam Goody sign going up and doesn't shut up about how fucking stupid he thinks the mall is the entire drive home, but he changes his tune the first time Steve tries on his uniform. Then immediately rethinks that idea because "Steven, I will pay you to quit right now and keep the uniform, no one else is allowed to see this much thigh on display on the daily, these are my slutty thighs."

Robin nearly quits the first time Scoops has a staff meeting and she finds Steve Harrington lounging in the backroom in the stupid fucking outfit they all have to wear. Begs not to be put on shift with him and then isn't super surprised when she checks the schedule and nearly all of the shifts with Buckley listed have Harrington right next to them, because absolutely fuck her life.

He's kind of a fucking dweeb, if she's being honest, and way less of a flirt than she remembers him being, and every time he strikes out with a pretty girl (because of fucking course she notices exactly how cute they all are) he doesn't actually seem all that put out about it and sort of laughs at her little You Suck marks like there's a joke she's just not in on, which is categorically unfair.

And - he's weird, actually, the more she thinks about it, because sometimes Robin will go on a tangent about a band she's into who just put out a shit album, and Steve will nod along like he knows a thing or two about the band in question (but he can't because this particular bands music is super fucking queer and they're not popular, certainly not in goddamn Hawkins), or she'll start in on one of the popular girls from school once the girl leaves the shop and Steve will tell Robin fucking secrets about all the dumb shit his old crew used to get up to and he'll whisper all the embarrassing stories he has about them like she's a good buddy and he's always secretly wanted to gossip about those dickheads.

And, like, the one thing they do actually have in common is their attraction to girls, not that she's ever telling him that, only - only once, some dude from the jazzercise class came in and Robin is seventy-three percent sure she caught Steve checking out the guys ass when he left, which - no way. Right? He'd just zoned out, or something.

As it turns out she actually kind of enjoys being around Steve, who seems to have a few working braincells beneath all that hair and is surprisingly funny when he's not thinking too hard about it and hangs out with the weirdest people, like - Robin could have tossed the names of the entire population of Hawkins into a bowl and pulled out names at random and still wouldn't have chosen a weirder group of people for The Hair Harrington.

She can't decide if the more inexplicable is the revolving door of children who come to visit him nearly daily and often charm a free cone or a sneak through the backdoor to the theater - or the trio of metalheads here nearly as often. Eddie Munson buys them all cups of ice cream and then they sit in the corner booth menacing terrified suburban moms and hounding Steve until his break and then Steve saunters over with a dopey little grin on his face and argues with Gareth E for five full minutes about something that makes Munson boom in laughter.

And - okay, so Robin is firmly in the closet where she's safe and so is everyone else queer in Hawkins but Munson's never actually denied all the snide comments that get tossed his way and you can't ever assume but like - he doesn't exactly hide the way he ogles Steve Harrington in his stupid uniform and Steve - notices? She thinks he notices. He'd have to be an idiot not to notice, she thinks, but then - well, he's definitely an idiot because sometimes when he gets up at the end of his break Munson shoots a pining look his way and gets an elbow in the ribs from Jeff or Gareth and Robin is actually like a little desperate to know how the hell that particular dynamic was struck up but there's no way she's letting Harrington know he intrigues her.

Eddie learns about the You Rule You Suck board and has a minor freak out about it while pacing a hole into Jeff's bedroom carpet because "He's bi, Jeff, and Buckley's totally his fucking type, they spend literally all day together, Jeff, he's going to leave me for a band nerd, Jeff." and Jeff has to remind Eddie that Steve is ass over tits in love with Eddie and spends every moment not at his literal job either carting around his merry band of kiddos or with Eddie.

Eddie demands secrecy from Jeff about the freakout and Jeff crosses the fingers of one hand behind his back as he runs his fingers over his lips like a zipper, so the moment Eddie leaves, Jeff calls Steve to give him the scoop, and maybe Steve lays it on a little extra thick and does some stupidly romantic shit but it's not like that's far out of his wheelhouse, he romances the fuck out of Eddie whenever he can and Eddie totally knows Jeff spilled his secrets but actually this is sort of okay too.

Eddie picks Henderson up the day he gets back from camp, drives him over to the mall and gets caught by Buckley making cow eyes at Steve when Steve and Henderson get to the lightsaber part of their little handshake.

And. Okay. Sure, Eddie's always kinda figured there was more to the story behind Steve's journey into Being A Better Person but he didn't expect the Russians.

So, when it all goes to hell in a hand basket Eddie's tucked in the backroom of Scoops with the rest of them listening to a Russian recording and handing a coin off to Steve so he can listen to the sound of the Indiana Flyer and -

Fucking. Russians?

And then they're sneaking into a secret base because they got trapped in a secret elevator, and they're sneaking through an underground lab and the Russians are boring a hole into the inside of the world and "Babe, we don't really have time for Twenty Questions when RUSSIANS ARE CHASING US but I promise I'll tell you all about it if I make it outta here alive." and it's the sort of ridiculous bullshit he'd throw into a campaign if the players were really pissing him off so of course, of course they get separated, and Eddie nearly bites Dustin's head off trying to figure out how they're gonna fucking save Steve and Robin.

Steve goads the torture guy into fucking him up so he lays off Robin and Robin is high as shit but like, she knows, okay, she knows what he did for her and that's.

"Have you ever been in love?" Robin asks later, after she's already sort of laid her heart out hoping he won't stomp on it and Steve doesn't hesitate.

"Yep. Nancy Wheeler," and he mimes a gunshot to the heart, makes the sound effect because even though he's found something different and heartstoppingly epic, sometimes that still stings. "And-" but Robin's scoffing and calling Nancy a priss so Steve gets sidetracked from telling Robin he's head over fucking heels for Eddie goddamn Munson. For a second, anyway.

"Are you still in love with Nancy?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Because - because the sun shines out of Eddie Munson's ass and Eddie looks at him like Steve hung the moon and the stars and because somewhere along his journey of self discovery he realized how very much he wanted to love and be loved in return and that Nancy probably was never gonna be the person to share that with him the way he wanted, and damn the world and his parents and his former shitty friends for thinking there's anything wrong with that but also - shit, he likes Robin, thinks she's great, thinks maybe if things were different he'd probably be harboring a terrible fucking crush on her but that doesn't mean she's gonna want to stick around once she finds out he's already planning out the rest of his life with the metalhead she barely tolerates hanging out in the store until closing time three nights a week.

So he tells her about this person he's super into and how weird and cool and so not the type of person he would have gone for in high school they are, and she goes quiet, and he slides under the stall and settles his weight across from her and she's looking at him like she's terrified and - yeah, okay, yep, this fucking sucks. Anyone else who already knows had learned how to not be shitheads about it from Eddie long before Steve had his revelation, or they'd never been the type of people to judge that kind of thing anyway and - and he'd told Gareth that Eddie was worth the hassle and he is but this sucks.

And.

And then she's telling him about how she'd hated him because Tammy Thompson was obsessed with him and - and it takes more time than he's proud of for everything to sort of click in his head but he's got at least a few broken ribs and he's pretty sure that stinging feeling in the side of his skull is gonna amount to another fucking concussion so at least he's got a hookup for good weed - "But Tammy Thompson's a girl," comes out of his mouth anyway and he blinks half a second later because - holy shit. Holy shit.

Because if she - and he - and Steve laughs and calls Tammy Thompson a muppet but then he's laughing harder and pointing to himself and saying "Listen, okay listen, Eddie - Eddie Munson, yeah, I didn't say it earlier because - I didn't mean you, Buckley, I meant Eddie."

And - he'd called Eddie babe and Robin hadn't really noticed it at the time because, like, running away from Russians but - god she's been an idiot because if she'd paid a lick of attention she probably could have put two and two together, like Steve eying the lines on the You Suck board with a secret smile and Steve leaping over the counter like a showoff every time he took his break with Eddie right there across the way, like Eddie leaning across the counter and pressing a finger against the skin and hair on display above the line of Steve's uniform shirt , like Steve blowing off a cute girl to lean across the counter and call Eddie a nerd wasn't the gayest shit imaginable.

And then Eddie and Dustin and Erica are pushing through the bathroom door and Robin is cackling and the comedown from Russian truth drugs is gonna suck but maybe Eddie will smoke them both up if they survive the rest of the night.

---

Eddie doesn't call him out on attempting vehicular manslaughter because he'd seen how fucking long it took Steve to actually recover from the last go 'round with Billy Hargrove, and when the dust settles and they're all sort of reeling because - because Hopper was like a superhero, alright, and they've got an actual superhero in their midst but Hopper-

Eddie and Robin sit across from each other on the end of Steve's bed and Steve drinks his water and tries not to whine too much about the fact that Eddie is taking Robin at her word that they should at least make sure he's not gonna die of a brain bleed before they get him high and then they're laughing about the fact that Eddie was fully fucking convinced Robin was gonna steal Steve out from under his nose and it's - they wake him up once an hour as soon as he starts to nap and Steve's pretty sure they're just gossiping about Steve half the time but he doesn't mind that much.

Because Robin's, like, the best, the best person and the best friend and just the best thing, and she's gonna hate it so much that Steve trusts her because she's going to hear so many truly horrible things about how stupid in love with Eddie Munson Steve is but it's important to Steve that Eddie and Robin give a shit about one another and if they've gotta bond over his ability to injure the shit out of himself any time he's given the chance then he'll nurse his bruised ribs and grin dopily every time Eddie leans over to place a fresh pack of frozen peas on his eye.

---

Robin isn't sure she's ready for anyone else to know and Steve gets that, he totally does, because the few minutes he'd thought she'd judge him for the person he's given his whole heart to were the worst minutes of his life. Gareth clocks her in about two days anyway, keeps it to himself until he can't stand the awkward silences every time Robin and Steve get handsy and they realize it and leap away from one another but it's the same kind of handsy Eddie gets with the band when he's feeling a little lonely and he knows he can trust them to not be total fucking dickheads about it.

"How is it that the only totally hetero one is the only one with a fucking gaydar?" Jeff asks and - okay, so the thing is maybe watching Eddie and Steve fall in love made him realize a few things and he's - well, Hawkins is small and close minded and until Steve he hadn't realized that liking both was a thing you could do.

At the end of the summer Steve arranges a trip up to Indy and Robin has to make up a ridiculous lie to her parents about a camping trip with a few of the band kids because there's zero fucking way they're letting her go up to the city with four fucking dudes but she pulls it off and only has like, two freak outs about being in a club full of women who are also into women.

Babyfaced Gareth is a hit and Jeff definitely maybe makes out with a dude in the alley when he steps out for a cigarette and Steve makes Eddie dance with him until Eddie complains his toes are bleeding and it's actually kind of a perfect night, a perfect trip, a perfect way to end the summer.

Steve and Eddie take turns driving Robin to school in the mornings and Robin couldn't explain to a single soul how they've become the most important people she's ever had in her corner but the thing is she doesn't really have to, because that noise is for people who haven't seen Russians try to jumpstart the apocalypse, haven't been administered torture drugs by horror-movie looking 'doctors', haven't gotten their asses handed to them to protect one another.

By mid November Steve calls a meeting of Gareth and the Gays because Robin's crushing hard on a redhead from band and as previously established only one of them has a working gaydar. Gareth takes all of thirty seconds watching Robin and Vickie interact before he's giving her a thumbs up from across the gym.

---

Gareth fucking hates how catchy Gareth and the Gays is.

#steddie headcanon #this is once again fic length because ofc it is i can't be shortwinded about them #steddie fanfic #steddie ff #out of hand headcanon time again #starring robin buckley bc she'll never not be steve's person #with cameos by steddies number one shippers gareth and jeff #gareth and the gays

[exalt1ora]

nerdycule keeps me going here are my personal hc’s

ruth is dating everyone. sorry about it they just are. and she is SO happy about it. her happiest moments are when they’re all on the couch together in some weird bear pile watching trashy TV, or in the car all squished together singing along to the radio. i also 100% believe ruth is the one who introduced the idea in the first place.

pete is dating steph, richie, and ruth. they’re constantly ganging up on him with affectionate teasing, but gush about how much they adore him to eachother. i also think pete prefers to have one-on-one time with everyone rather than always being altogether. + them and grace have more of a queerplatonic relationship, although she accompanies him on dates with steph frequently because….

steph is dating pete, grace, and ruth. they really like having group dates, experimenting with the different chemistry and affection between multiple pairings. shes such a variety is the spice of life girly. like, study dates with pete & grace vs the movies with ruth & pete vs ice cream with grace & ruth are all different, equally fulfilling feelings of love for her. and richie is just their bro honestly they are so platonic to me. there is not any less love there i just think they are the bestest buddies who share a boyfriend and girlfriends.

speaking of, richie is dating ruth, pete, and grace. OKAY HEAR ME OUT I KNOW RICHIE X GRACE IS A LITTLE UNUSUAL. BUT. i think richie likes grace’s intensity & passion and grace likes richie’s creativity and- let’s be real- submissive nature. at first they were not into eachother at all, no interest either way. but, as the group as a whole spent more time together, they found it easy to talk to one another, both blunt and a little awkward. plus come on the bible sounds like an insane anime story sometimes doesn’t it? ANYWAYS! him ruth and pete are kind of inseparable and he spends time w grace separately. i see it clearly.

finally, grace is dating steph, ruth, and richie. not surprisingly, it took some convincing to get her on board. not as much as you’d expect though. grace had been plagued by adoring thoughts about steph for a while, and felt extremely guilty about it since she was dating pete. when the idea was brought up, grace’s instinct was to shut it down, call it hedonistic or dirty. then as ruth explained further, the different types of love and ways to experience it in polyamorous relationships, something clicked for her. realizing how happy each of these people made her, how loved she felt by them. so, she went along with it. of course, it still took her a while to participate, she had to observe first. grace meticulously planned for a sit down with steph, to have a very serious conversation about her feelings. but before she built up the courage, steph casually asked her to go out to dinner. telling her to wear something nice with a flirty smile, she left grace a short-circuiting mess.

but, thanks to the group’s support and love as a whole, she’s become more comfortable with a wide spectrum of her emotions, attractions, and relationships. all of them have. they are good for eachother. really good.

(p.s. : richie is also dating jason and ruth is also dating caitlyn 💘💘thanks

p.s part 2 : this might be kinda ooc but im just having fun im imagining a world where they have semi normal lives and help each other emotionally mature and find happiness yay!!!)

#starkid #nerdycule #nerdy prudes must die #npmd #ruth fleming #richie lipschitz #peter spankoffski #stephanie lauter #grace chasity #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #jason jepson #caitlyn npmd #headcanons #hcs #poly headcanons

[theminecraftbee]

okay i know solving counting sheep is an evo fic first and foremost but i'm super curious how the hermits end up dealing with three. it sounds like this is the kind of hermitcraft thats already a sanctuary for weirdos, but i feel like someone whos skin is feathers and wears a mask they can't see out of is a new level of strange. also, would pearl canonically still join the hermits after a few seasons in that universe? sorry to bombard you with questions when you already have a lot queued up LMAO

okay so this is like, a BIG QUESTION, and another one i've talked about with @strifetxt. we've noodled around a lot so off the top of my head, here's a few answers to "things we think three might do on hermitcraft"! (with the note: none of this is CANON. just because i'm saying it, word of god style, doesn't mean that's actually what HAPPENS, you can have your own story and headcanon for this in your head.)

three joins in season seven, not six, in my head. i'm not even going to try to pretend to guess what a season six without grian looks like just know that apparently happens.

three gets like, SUPER into the head games, because its a way to use its combat skills to HELP SOMEONE why wouldn't it get super into that? this is the first real introduction most of the hermits have to three. the hermits are like "okay mumbo where on earth did you find someone this good at murder". mumbo is like "who knows".

we were definitely joking that outside of hermits who know how to recognize a watcher (iskall, probably xisuma, i'd say also maybe like... doc or ren), the hermits just kind of assume three is autistic and roll with it from there because the idea the hermits, on being told three's actual circumstances, go "why would we guess that mumbo you said you met it hiding in a bar from overstimulation with you" is VERY FUNNY TO ME.

we were debating if election still happens; three is less likely to set up events on its own but IS likely to accidentally do something a little overboard.

our hack for if we wanted three to do the election is as follows: mumbo makes a joke with like, scar, about wanting to be mayor, three takes this completely literally, three and false end up in a cold war of "who is the scarier person NOT to vote for as mayor". meanwhile scar is vibing and a sith lord backing stress is very concerned.

grumbot does not happen. i don't think there's a world where three does grumbot.

three DOES befriend etho, at first to learn how to do interiors better, since etho is doing the all-interiors base, but later because etho's brand of tomfoolery actually works well with three. TWO weird dorks in masks now.

i think three would LOVE free glass. it and etho would make the world's Most pranks i think, all of which are technically what they were asked for. three helps work for shade-e-e's.

there's definitely more stuff we've talked about that i've missed and ALSO these aren't necessarily canon! you may have your own COMPLETELY DIFFERENT IDEA of what happens post-scs, which is fine! this was us waffling around about what would be fun to have happen, haha.

as for pearl... i like to think she does eventually still join hermitcraft, after a few years of texting back and forth with three and a bit more healing. she deserves it.

#answered #solving counting sheep talk #solving counting sheep spoilers

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hello! Merry Chirtmas ! İ just love your blog and can't stop thinking about it ! So, how would tadc react to a female kid reader ? That little girl is cheerful elegant little lady and wear nice Pink dress with bows! She comforted Gangle by saying "don't be sad ! İ love you !" And put some sticker on her mask ! Oh and saying i love you to them before leaving. When Jax is doing something bad she says "Don't be mean! you silly rabbit!"

Caine, Gangle, Zooble, Pomni w/ sweet!kid!reader (platonic)

doing these characters since the wheel chose it (ominously) not sure how much i'll write today but i got a little more in the inbox compared to these past few days so i plan on working that down

CAINE:

basically treats you like his own kid but hes never been a dad before so hes still learning; torn between him being over protective of you or thinking you're indestructible (which... technically you are as long as youre in the digital world). i think he finds your sweetness adorable, though if theres someone in the circus being mean to you (surprisingly i dont think jax would be too mean. a little bit of a butt? yeah but its not much different than an older brother picking on their younger sibling) i think he would pipe up and not shut up until you get an apology. starts watching IHAs more now that you're here, both to see how youre doing but also to make sure its not too crazy for you.. cant help but let the big scary monster/trial pass when you run up to it being nice. literally just snaps the thing out of existence/away/wherever. loves seeing the look of triumph on your face afterwards

POMNI:

nice towards you and probably over time keeps a closer eye on you but in the beginning i think its more like. you following her like a duckling since shes busy trying to find an exit. honestly i think pomni would have a hard time when it sinks in that theres a little kid here in the circus. how did you get here? when did you get here? i think thats what would prompt her in trying to connect with you, thus you gain another guardian figure! sticking true my idea of pomni being uneasy around kids because they can be gross and have no filter and be unpredictable i think at first she would be a little... tense around you, but overtime becomes more comfortable when she realizes youre not like that. definitely going to take a while, though.. shrugs

GANGLE:

definitely finds you sweet, lets you hang around in her room and mess with her art supplies. probably cries harder when you try to make her feel better after jax does something, usually something that leaves her with a broken comedy mask. i dont think she would let you confront jax about it, though... she appreciates the sentiment but shes not about to make it look like she sent a little kid to defend her, thats only going to give jax even more ammo even if you stood up for her on your own. sometimes lets you put stickers on her mask or glitter... ponders.. i think she reads stories to you too, every night

ZOOBLE:

i think ive already said this before but zooble gives off such older sibling energy, and i cant really explain it other than its just the personality and looks... but i guess that doesnt explain much. shrugs. sweet younger sibling, cool but indifferent older sibling. or at least you think theyre cool. and you tell them every chance you guy. i think they would just give a weird "thaaanks.." the first few times before fully leaning into the older sibling role. dont get me wrong like before they wouldnt just leave you wandering around alone during an IHA, hell i dont think they would there wasnt one going on.. but they wouldnt go out of their way to hang out with you.. but eventually they just kind of keep a closer eye on you. check in on you. ask what youre up to. theyre not attached to you by the hip but theyre definitely present in your life as a role model. tries to make you be less nice, gives you the talk that not everyone is nice and sometimes some people fake being nice in order to get what they want. but in kid terms, obviously... well not little kid terms i still think zooble would be blunt but they wouldnt be harsh

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #caine x reader #caine x you #pomni x reader #pomni x you #gangle x reader #gangle x you #zooble x reader #zooble x you

[chthonic-cassandra]

Hello friend, I was thinking about the Mina-as-a-reincarnated-love-of-Dracula's plot element from the 90's movie and once more wondering where the hell it came from. Do you have any idea if the germ of that element was present in some other vampire/dracula-related media?

Hello my friend! This is an excellent question that others have sought to answer over the years. This is my best recollection right now without consulting all my sources; if others (@atundratoadstool, @forthegothicheroine, anyone else?) remember something I'm forgetting here, feel free to jump in.

The Coppola film was not, properly speaking, the first Dracula adaptation to include a reincarnated wife plotline; that dubious honor goes to the 1974 Dan Curtis adaptation starring Jack Palance, though there the reincarnated wife is Lucy rather than Mina, and also takes much less of the attention and runtime than it does in the Coppola. Blacula, made around the same time as the Curtis film, also has a reincarnation plotline, though there it's of course not involving the characters of Stoker's novel directly.

Dan Curtis was previously the creator of the long-running vampire soap opera Dark Shadows, which I have not myself seen but which I understand has a prominent 'vampire finds the reincarnation of his love' story, and really popularized it as a trope.

Most people trace the origins of the trope to a different undead narrative - the 1932 The Mummy, directed by Karl Freund (cinematographer on Tod Browning's Dracula) and starring Boris Karloff. The Mummy, which I finally watched for the first time a few years ago, is a strikingly compelling though unambiguously orientalist film, and there's a lot in it from which I think subsequent Dracula adaptations have pulled.

The relationship between the undead Imhotep and Helen, who recovers memories of their tragic past life together, is in many ways persuasive. Like the occult opportunist Kay in Son of Dracula to whom I think Helen is rather akin, Helen seems stifled in the modern world (in her case the impression is exacerbated by the hints we get of racism she experiences as a half-Egyptian woman), and it's a rather direct line from her characterization to Lucy Seward in the Badham Dracula, Mina in the Coppola, and ultimately Vanessa Ives. Helen and Imhotep's love cannot succeed because he has the unfortunate impression that he has to kill her and resurrect her as a mummy so they can be together, but the sense the movie conveys of her connecting with her whole self when she recovers her earlier memories, and especially of her devotion to Isis, is quite moving.

Stepping back from the specificity of Dracula as a story, I actually think the reincarnation plotline makes a lot of sense as something that comes into play when you're dealing with immortality and undeath. One of the things that I think makes the way that the Dracula adaptations use it so weird and awkward, aside from the pure arbitrariness, is that they're divorcing the trope from the spiritualist connotations it clearly has in The Mummy, leaving it flat and metaphysically inexplicable. The Mummy is a text with clear origins in the spiritualist movements of its time, with their attendant orientalism - questions about reincarnation are all over those.

I played once myself with trying to recuperate the reincarnated wife trope in a Dracula fic, though I didn't touch the spiritualism stuff. I've been thinking about it, though, because I'm trying to work on Penny Dreadful fic and it's all over that canon (and also because I've been reading some Dion Fortune). I'll keep thinking about it.

#dracula #child-of-hurin

[lauraroselam]

So I wrote this weird book about queer dragons. It came out the same day as the other dragon book everyone talks about. It was a Sunday Times bestseller in the UK, though, which was incredible!

However, I'm not sure how to continue to promote this book--people either seem to really like it, or not quite get it. Or it just wasn't what they expected. Which is fine, no book can please everyone, and I knew I'd made some unusual craft choices that was going to make it more marmite. (Or, as my brain tells me at midnight, I'm just a bad writer). However, there's that librarian saying "every book its reader" and the people who love this book REALLY love it, and that makes me so happy. So I decided to write this post and explain its weirdness and lay out what you can expect if you do pick it up. Maybe you're my kind of odd, too. :-)

Short pitch: 800 years ago, dragons and humans were bonded, then humans were dicks, stole the dragons' magic, and banished them to a dying world. But humans have short memories, forgot, and now worship dragons as gods. The dragon "gods" remember, and they do not forgive.

Thief Arcady steals their grandsire's stone seal (which helps them funnel magic) from their tomb. Their grandsire supposedly released a magical plague that killed a proportion of society, and Arcady is locked out of society as a result. They perform a spell to rewrite the seal to have a new identity as they want to go to university at the Citadel and also clear their family's name. Problem? The spell also accidentally calls through Everen, the last male dragon, trapped in human form. Everen has been foretold to save his kind, and now he has a chance: he just has to convince one little human to trust him mind, body, and soul, and then kill them. Then he'll be able to steal the human's magic back, rip a hole in the Veil, and the dragons can return. Good news for dragons, less good news for humans. As you might expect: this does not go to plan. Because emotions.

Grab it now. (Note: there's still a contractual delay so it's not available in US audiobook yet, annoyingly. Hopefully soon). (If you are like "weird queer dragons?! Sign me up" but aren't interested in hearing why the author has made certain decisions and want to go into the text cold, stop here! Death of the author/birth of the reader, etc. Otherwise, carry on.)

You should pick up Dragonfall if:

You like experimental narrative positions! It's all collected by an unnamed archivist who has access to both first person narratives (Arcady, the genderfluid human thief, Everen the hot dragon) and can scry into the past and draw out third person narratives (Sorin, hot priest assassin. Cassia, Everen's sister, who is also hot. Spoiler: everyone in this book is hot). Then to make it even weirder, Everen's bits are technically in first person direct address, so he's writing it all to Arcady (the first chapter ends with: "For that human was, of course, you. And this is our story, Arcady.") I ended up writing it this way for a few reasons, even though it probably would have been simpler to just stick to straight up third throughout, like most epic fantasy does. The big one is that Arcady is genderfluid and uses any pronouns (I tend to default to they when I talk about them outside of the text), and constantly gendering them in the text felt wrong whether I used he, she, or they. This way bypasses that a lot in the first volume, so it's up to the reader to make up their own mind. I also just really love first person direct address as a narrative position. It can be a little confronting, and it makes Everen the dragon sound a bit more predatory at the start. But it's also quite intimate. Is he writing his sections as an apology, or a love letter? Both? You find out at the end. So if your green flag books are: The Fifth Season, The Raven Tower, or Harrow the Ninth, this might also be your jam.

You love classic 90s fantasy. This is in many ways an homage to all the stuff I read growing up: Robin Hobb and the Realm of the Elderlings (the book is dedicated to Hobb in particular), the Dragonriders of Pern, Tad Williams, Lynn Flewelling, Robert Jordan, Mercedes Lackey, Tamora Pierce, etc. But I wanted to give it a more modern twist. I'm NB and growing up I didn't see a lot of queerness in fantasy, and I clung to the examples I did find (Vanyel, the Fool). Also, not 90s fantasy, but I also freaking loved Seraphina by Rachel Hartman and Priory of the Orange Tree, so those were influences too.

You're not put off by Worldbuilding(TM) and a slower pace. Probably because I grew up on the likes of Tad Williams, I honestly love slow-paced fantasy. I love to luxuriate in a world and take my time getting to know a made up world. In Assassin's Quest it takes over 100 pages for Fitz to leave the forest. Love it. I have a more lyrical writing style, I guess, and I'm pretty descriptive. My stuff always tends to start off slower, set the stage, and then ramps up the pace as we get further along. So yes, my book starts out with some infodumping, depending on your tolerance level of that sort of thing. I worked with a linguist and they made a conlang for the dragon language (hi @seumasofur). There's a map by Deven Rue (cartographer for Critical Role). I got nerdy.

You love queernorm fantasy! This is set in a world where it's considered rude to assume a stranger's gender and so you tend to default to they/them. If you consider someone much higher in status than you, you'd capitalise it to the honorific, such as They/Them. Once you get to know someone, you tend to flash your pronouns to them with a hand signal, since a sign language called Trade is also a lingua franca in the world. 99.95% of all the dragons are also lesbians, BTW. Everen is the last male dragon.

You like frankly silly levels of slow burn. Everen and Arcady can't physically touch without it causing Everen pain while they're half-bonded. They may or may not find creative loopholes. But it's not mega mega spicy, if you're expecting that. I expect the spice levels will gradually go up as the series progresses.

Alright, I think that's more than enough to give you a sense of what you'd find in Dragonfall. If you're open to sharing this post so it reaches more people outside of my little corner of the internet, I'd really appreciate it. Whenever I do any bit of self-promo, I'm always so anxious and worry it'll get like, 2 eyeballs on it anyway or that I'm just annoying people by mentioning that my art even exists. And if you end up liking it, please tell a friend.

I'm loving the recent dragon renaissance! Long live dragons.

#dragonfall #fantasy books #epic fantasy #fantasy romance #robin hobb #farseer trilogy #samantha shannon #the raven tower #priory of the orange tree #micah grey #pantomime #lr lam #laura lam #gay dragons #sexy dragons #I never know what to put in tags #post this before imposter syndrome makes me implode #lgbtqia #pride books #queer books #queer fantasy