#i feel so stressed and frustrated rn

[skunkes]

just realized why i have such an issue with full colored comms and thats that i usually draw really small!

when i draw for me i draw really small, whether i color the drawing or not. when i do comms i blow up the sketch to line it Bigger, so that i can be more careful with details and color if needed, bc this is Serious Art For Money and I'll Be Put Down If I Mess Up.

but im not used to using any of my brushes in Big. so they all feel so foreign + handle differently and even look kinda different at this scale and it kinda hurts my wrist too LOLLLL

#this is why ive spent all this time freaking out #i mean none of my brushes feel Right in general rn but even moreso if i have to draw Big. even more stressful rn #i redo lines 500 times when im drawing big. #its so frustrating! simple lineart doodle took me FOREVER to finish yesterday for dis reason! #talkys

[tvrningout]

pls send me good vibes bc mine are so far gone today and the day has barely begun 😔

#we are memeing so we laugh through the pain but dude i wanna run away from my job rn #i’m simply so frustrated and stressed #gonna make it through bc i always do and i’ve been through worse but i just wanna release my feelings somewhere #and i’m sorry it’s here ;; #i do hope y’all have easy and stress free mondays!! and if you’re off to a bad start i hope it gets better!! #mwah mwah!! #get ready to ramble | ooc #tw vent #tbd

[lemongogo]

not 2 complain but i love to complain

#imm soo stressed outt T__T #23 sucks major ball dude #i feel like im making all the wrong decisions and i dont know what i want to do w my life or with anything #while it feels like everyone else is already set and prepared T__T #and i know thats like . hallmark trait of adulthood and no one rly knows what theyre doing #but i feel this sense of otherness .YKWIMMM . like im just Not Getting It #so i try not to think abt it but then that means im not making any active change #and only letting my frustration and despair build T__T #i hate being an indecisive person at my core tbh. i wish i had conviction to just Make decisions and try to work things out #feeling like that uhuwhhhhhjhh cat rn #sry i try not 2 vent post on main anymore but also idgaf ‼️my 9 y/o ride or die blog w more personal history than anything else tbh

[cutearose]

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#having a bit of a breakdown bc i keep fucking everything up bc of how bad my mental heath is rn #and im so tired of feeling like this useless burden #i keep fucking up in the exact same ways and its expensive and frustrating and stressful #and it sucks to be losing my mind over these mistakes while also just aggressively not wanting to be alive #like what does it matter if my bike is dead bc i ruined it and now cant go to my friends wedding? what does anything even matter? #being alive is too fucking hard #and i am very alone and dont want to burden anyone w my mental health anyway #but i am just. completely falling apart at the moment #and im so fucking tired all the time #hhhhhHHHHHH #struggling here pals. #post

[steampoweredskeleton]

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Ignore

#delete later #god i wish i was neurotypical #found out my flatmate is going to be away for a few days after they left and bc id had no warning my anxiety spiked so hard #that i had such a wave of nausea i had to lie down #idk why that fucking happened. ridiculous. irs not like it really affects that much. just the thing of my home being changed in any way #without warning freaks me the fuck out. couldnt do any work til id laid under my weighted blanket at lunch #and like obvs this is an entirely me thing. i dont expect my flatmates to tell me every detail of what they're doing #not sure how to keep myself from freaking over it though. will think on it #but yeah. if i was neurotypical id be fine. i also want to play ky video games after work but im akways so exhausted that all i can do #is lie in bed under my weighted blanket. it is so frustrating. im so tired. not helped that pain is fucking me up in new ways #so im also upset aboit that. and that christmas is approaching abd that changes the routine completely #and is always overwhelming #but this year im staying home so i will be able to keep it quiet and low key and it'll be just me so i dont have to think about #masking in any way which is kind of nice as even the vibe of Christmas takes a lot oit of me #i enjoy the thought of it and always hate the day. same as my birthday. fun in theory. incredibly stressful actually #idk whether it's work stressing me oit long term but right now any change to what im expecting from my routine is making me #so so so frustrated and upset #i had to go get meds after work on tiesday and became so upset by it that i was awake until 1am and was super nauseous #not enjoying that as a primary symptom of anxiety rn. i find eating hard enough as it is #the hair washing routine has given ne sone stability this week which was very nice abd made me feel calm. abd mt physio routine #the energy it takes to do it is outweighed by the relief i get when ive done that part of my routine and then go to bed #work is hard. working full time is so hard. im coping but not well. defo think i need to try getting regular therapy sessions if only #to help me plan for what i need to do and work through coping strategies bc im really hitting a wall. i need to problem solve all #these things but im so exhausted that i can't. so they just keep piling up

[dokidokistart]

hi 🐥 so my plan was to have the shop restocked and add the new stuff tomorrow, but my charm manufacturer's had a technical issue with the printer which was supposed to be solved last monday and apparently it's still not:( I've asked them to send me whatever they have (as last week they said most of my order was ready) and I hope I can at least be able to launch by the start of next week

#I'm so frustrated bc I placed my order a month in advance #they usually take 1 week... so... #I made sure I had everything I needed ready to make it in time #and only bc of this I can't launch things when I had planned #i want people to get their orders in time for xmas but this way I won't be able to assure that everyone gets their order before december 24 #😔 #pls help me manifest charms being delivered soon #im so sad and stressed #feeling like a ferrari driver rn #but broke lol #shop tag

[sunsetcorvid]

(hey tags have vent stuff in em)

gee things seem to be getting better i think im doing okay!!!

one week later:

#might be a venty post #i need to go back to the doc to talk about my meds #this week has been. kinda shit and im frustrated at how easily ive been getting pissed at stuff and going back into old habits #well not NEW but i only recently finally getting better at not doing them and then i had a. moment last night so yippee #genuinely feel drained and shit and i want to get myself to do the things i need to do but i cant and its frustrating #every time i try to do schoolwork or stuff like that i just cant and find myself plunged back into my interests because my brain just cant #handle stress apparently #one small stressful thing and its burying yourself again!! enjoy the dull feelings after having a meltdown because your dad asked you to #make a list of schoolwork #me omw to fight god #anyways if any of yall read this this is just me saying that if my posts are a bit spread out or i just dont post my usual stuff its that #and if im not posting splatoon its probably because my brain wants constant distractions and changing so its really switching between sonic #and splatoon rn #anyways love yall i hope i can some shit sorted out soon #vent post #tw vent #gonna delete later #miles posts

[poptartmochi]

unfathomable emotions after showering

also.. i hit tag limit on this, so watch out for a very long post if you hit read more on the tags! 😨

#it is frustrating that overall it is fine for customers to use retail/service employees like punching bags. this guy will have no #repercussions for cussing me out beyond the pre-existing frustration that his order isn't ready because it was placed after our deadline #it is frustrating that you can't really defend yourself because 1) it takes too much time and there's too much else to do. #better to let them have the upper hand in their minds 2) they can take anything you saw and spin it against you in a review #like... 😞 i couldn't even get a word in against this guy. honestly i think he was using me as a stress toy because his kid is getting in #trouble for not having uniforms. which really sucks‚ I understand and empathize with that! but to react in such a way is unacceptable #it's common sense that a mom and pop shop will not process your order until the next business day if you ordered outside of their business #hours. i had to explain the way this particular school's ordering system worked to this guy the last time he was in. i provided multiple #alternatives to contacting us that he never utilized. like.. he had the tools to understand everything and instead of using them he decided #to erupt. and because I'm the poor fuck that works the counter‚ i got to be on the receiving end of this. i should know better than to be #upset about it (the eelness talking. everyone else was mad when he left) but. it's also fair to not want to be cussed out over something as #small as school uniforms! 🤨 #and don't even get me started on school uniforms.. yes my entire job rn is selling them BUT oh my god. i hate them. they shouldn't be a #thing. especially when these schools cost an arm and a leg in admission + then the uniforms easily cost another #*$100. the entire practice seems evil to me but also it's the family business so. 😭. the way these schools do it also undermines the entire #point of school uniforms which is. uniformity! 🤨 i feel like the minute differences in brand and so forth and so on give kids easy ways to #compare each other and potentially bully each other. the differences in what people provide Could be distracting! if your kid is the only #one wearing a plaid jumper while everyone else has khaki bottoms on‚ they're going to stand out! #so what pray tell is the point 😭 imo it's best to let kids have the freedom of self expression and show up to school however they'd like #in an appropriate way ofc. but i digress 😩 this business is just. deeply frustrating + as if the work itself was not overwhelming‚ the #parents have to throw tantrums about it... I'm so tired! 😭 #and they insinuate you fuck around + or say you don't give a shit.. ma'am I've worked so much overtime this year + that's not even counting #the relentless shifts I've worked in my nightmares that occur every night. like.. literally the only thing i do is give a shit about your #order!! at the expense of my sleep and wellness lmao! I don't eat lunch and i barely hydrate because I'm constantly working #but it is thog mode.. thog don't care... 😑 it'd be funny if i didnt care either 🥴😐 #to sum up a long rant ig i entered the shower feeling very depressed and I've left angry 🤯 but this is normal methinks #anyhow l + ratio + you work at your family's store + you work customer service + u trip over yourself when u talk etc etc etc 😑😑 #one day i will blow that store up with every parent ever. it will be so funny 💖😐😩😑 #sriracha.txt #negative cw

[exopelagic]

auuudggghghhrhrhrbrr

#okay I’m feeling Bad and I need to unpick why before I’ll be able to sleep #friend is asking abt lunch on Friday when I already have standing commitment w other friends then so I can’t do that. #but I also go home on Sunday and I can’t do shit until Friday bc work and I have plans on Saturday so I just. can’t see them #which. I guess makes things easier actually that’s not something I can control and I’m not changing existing plans that’s unfair #I’m also listening to a playlist of old music (Apple Music generated favourites — so literally random picked from everything I’ve ever done #and the last few songs have made me feel Bad bc of being associated with certain times but song playing rn is definitively a good song #w a good memory attached and it’s MY song not one of my old friends #okay where are we #I’m stressed abt presentation on Thursday but also a non issue. I’m prepared. I have all day tomorrow to practice and read up more #and then it’s 20 minutes on Thursday morning I’ll be done before 10am #I am. a little frustrated on a broader scale about the role I’m currently occupying #in that w a bunch of my friends I’m having to be the one with their shit together and dealing with their Stuff. #mostly in the way that I have to be putting in extra effort to tiptoe around them and steer stuff to keep them happy #i can do it i can do it easily I’ve just tasted not having to now so it’s. noticeably different having to do it more #i do Not have the words to talk abt this in the way I want to it’s so annoying #it’s like. I know how my friend responds to stuff. I know the things that make her anxious and what her instinctual responses will be #and I’m constantly having higher level thoughts planning out how things will go it’s effortless and constant it’s just There #with everyone all the time but sometimes I use it more and sometimes I have to because I’m in a position where if I don’t we’ll get nowhere #and I don’t like that I’m having to worry abt keeping other people happy while I’m talking to my friends it removes me a layer from stuff #hrm. there are broader questions here abt the utility of this bc like. sure it helps in some situations #but this probably isn’t great long term for either of us. wild. goddamn talking to my friend abt philosophy opened new parts of my brain #anyway I cba to have those thoughts rn! it’s midnight! I’m going to bed in half an hour <3 #it’s honestly unfair that I have to do anything other than be gay and play pokemon #luke.txt #uaUrghrhfhjs I’m also being insane abt a guy. which is predictable and I feel stupid abt for multiple reasons but. here we are. #I’m being insane. and maybe I should be less mean to myself but I feel like I’m being insane. #I think! I need to go to bed! #I am not being insane I am having feelings and that is allowed. feelings are typically regarded as a pretty normal thing to have. #philosophy friend is gonna be so mad at me if anything comes of this but it’s fine and if it does I think I’ll be pretty happy anyway #point is I’m doing nothing wrong and have done nothing wrong and I’m allowed to feel whatever the hell I like. okay.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i truely have so much anger built up inside me about my job. ive done a very good job of making it unbearable #and after taking a 10 day vacation. plus 2 days of not working bc im sick. i really dont wanna go back #i was planning to take 3 days to not do fucking anything but my boss just emailed me with some time sensitive #logistical things. so like i guess i gotta fucking do that tomorrow. i started reading the email and it made my head hurt #and she started it off like. hopw ur feeling better and i dont wanna cause stress but... #like bro. listen. if u tell me these things u put them in my head and i csnt stop thinking abt them until theyre done. and its not her #fault bc im the one that put myself in a place where im barely keeping it together. its just frustrating #bc it feels like hope u feel better but also kill urseld 💖 but again thats just how it feels bc im so. idk how to describe it im like in a #state of post burnout. im sitting in the ash. alone in a desolate landscape and its like jesus how tf do i fix this? #and i cant even run out my anger rn bc im sick. and i mean i have the energy to run i dont feel lethargic but like i doubt that would aid #recovery lol. ugh. 2 months. thats all. then i move away. assuming i find a place to live lol. bc i currently haven't yet #but whatever. assuming i get better quickly and dont get worse and dont get covid on top of this cold bc my dad got covid #it will have been a bit of a blessing i came back sick bc i have a clear justification for not working and for telling people to fuck off #when they ask for things from me. like today a lab mate asked if i could sample Monday. which it technically #a holiday but i probably would have said yes if i wasnt sick. and i would have had to teach undergrads some bullshit friday if i wasnt sick #instead i just did nothing all day bc i almost moved bsck my flight and didnt leave home until the weekend anyway #i guess its good i didnt bc then i would have been stuck in ohio bc my dad found out he had covid yesterday #idk its all just frustrating bc im halfway in a transition and im not doing very well but i cant do anything to fix things until i leave #the southwest. like i dont even kno if i have health insurance rn. my benifits change request was processed but like does thst mean it was #approproved? fucking idk. so everytime i do anything i imagine a worstcase scenario where i end up hospitalized and damned to an empty #bank account or eternal medical debt. tho my mum said they passed a law where they arnt allowed to do thst to u anymore 🤷‍♂️ #whatever. im annoyed. i dont wanna work 😫 #unrelated

[canisonicscrewyou]

I lived upstairs w my brother for all of several years and my partner for almost a year and now it’s suddenly my responsibility to clear out the ENTIRETY of it (while also being my entire responsibility that it ‘got this bad’) AND NOW I found out that there’s a fucking STAIN in the hardwood that my parents are going to go absolute Code Red over. And I just. I’m so overwhelmed, I’m not gonna lie. I hate this and I hate that I feel like I can’t ask for fuckign help

#they’re PLANNING on moving in less than 3 months and this is. this is doable. it is. #but I’m also like. frozen in place bc I don’t know what I can do rn #and I’m also frustrated bc I feel like I’m cleaning up after my brother and partner bc I partially am #while also knowing that the majority of The Everything is still my responsibility #like my partner was confused when I told them we were staying the night at my parents before moving our furniture tomorrow. to clean n such #like ‘oh???’ yeah. because you still have trash you never took out and things you never packed. just like me. #I’m so upset I’m so upset I’m so upset #and I should also talk to them about this like an adult but I’m so stressed by everything else rn that it’s not worth it

[kimmkitsuragi]

recent epiphanies in my life like

"what if i go abroad and end up sad and lonely there!!!!!! :(((("

"you're already sad and lonely here too"

#im not here a lot recently but not because im going thru an identity crisis or anything 😭 insert it's fine meme #im so fucking scared of. everything about the future rn and on top of that i keep questioning myself in many ways :< #and i mean GOOD questioning myself is good right? it is supposed to set me in the right path right? but it's so tiring and frustrating 😭 #i get so stressed over stupid things #i keep thinking if i want to do this i have to do it right. and i mean yeah but also like #it's all sooo scary and intimidating uhuhuhu ive never even lived alone!!!! can i even survive that!!!!! #but all in all. i sincerely hope that i will be posting about my one way ticket to a different country these times next year xox #love and light and such. it's scary but so is living in this country at this point!!! #next year's elections i wanna be in the mood like. well if my country fucks this up YET AGAIN i wont be here to experience it first hand <3 #let's hope i wont have too many breakdowns down the way tho!!!! #im so sjsjdjjdd let's continue konmari-ing my room sjsnsjdjjdjfhf :< #🗒 #idek why i wrote this but i will keep making arguments against my silly brain whenever i feel like chickening out #btw identity crisis thing is totally unrelated to all this like it's about different stuff so it's another stressor rn #well. time to cognitive dissonance my way thru it until i am able to process it better!!! <3

[letstalkaboutfandomsbaby]

I have had just the worst day and i need to be held and babied and fucked gently until i fall asleep :(

#☀️ shitposts #started with a pounding headache that I've had since yesterday #our washing machine is broken and my family promised they would fix it today but they pushed it off by several hours #my cramps made me feel sick #family started getting frustrated with washing machine and were pretty much fighting which stressed me out #i tried to soothe things and help fix the situation #cut to me sweating like a pig trying to get this stupid wire around this rubber thing #broke a nail in the process #cried a bit #finally got it on but idk if it even works bc we need some other parts #im shaky and anxious and tired and i just want clean clothes i want everything to go back to normal :( #i always feel so dumb for being upset when i break a nail :( #but I've been trying so hard to grow them back to what they used to be :( #but getting upset over it makes me feel like a spoiled brat :( #im having a really hard time rn i want a do-over for the whole day

[petitkante]

.

#actually having an awful day and i’m so PISSED bc it’s friday. i should be glad the week’s coming to an end #instead i just feel tired stressed sad and ugly. #literally wish i could go off grid rn and just relax. #and i feel bad bc nothing bad’s happened im just drained. #sigh. anyway #venting here is just v therapeutic #ignore me rambling about my frustrations pls 🙂

[jrwiyuri]

I might actually just off myself if I can’t learn how to draw a skirt

#tw suicide joke #|| #IM SO ANGRY #i can’t draw the folds in them properly it’s so fucking awful o hate learning to draw new things #it’s never even fun it’s just stressful and frustrating #I actually feel stupid rn and I’m super angry I can’t do this #but I refuse to make her skirt a tight one cause I don’t fuckin want it to be one!!

[woofety]

All right folks, for anyone who may not be aware it's Eurovision week, so just a warning that every related post will be tagged with #esc2022 !

For those who will embrace the madness, enjoy 😁; for those who won't, ehm, I'm sorry... 😅!

#I may be able to watch it even if I'm not totally sure #if I do I don't know if I'll liveblog but just in case your dashboards are flooded with eurovision posts all of the sudden #at least you have the chance to blacklist it because I imagine for those who are not interested it can be annoying #tbh I wish I were more invested especially considering my country hosts it this year #but rl has been... *sigh* and the general mood rn is compatible with curling up in bed and pass out #so I don't overthink stuff and get stressed and pissed pff more than I already am #plus I think my hormones are acting up and make me feel frustrated and restless for hell knows what #well in all truth I think I know what but I have no solution for my loneliness atm #anyway I hope the show will cheer me up a bit #I haven't listened to the songs yet (apart from italy's entry of course 😑) on purpose so they will be a surprise #praying they'll be GOOD like eurovision worthy but I read from some comments that the majority are ballads ffs 😭