some bittersweet thoughts abt dating aventurine / sunday after playing 2.1…
firstly, I think I underestimated how hard it would be to get into a relationship with someone like aventurine,, he would need to trust you immensely in order to even attempt dating you
but once you do date him, he’s still very hesitant on being affectionate towards you
he had lost everything, everyone that was dear to him, so the idea of having someone he could lose again scares him
he’s careful not to grow too attached to you, always keeping you at an arms distance despite how much you love and care for him
every morning, he makes sure he wakes up before you so he can leave your side early. it’s not that he doesn’t want to be around you during such vulnerable moments, no, but rather he fears he’ll get too attached to you
he makes sure to tuck you in and press a sweet kiss to your forehead as he smiles to himself sadly before heading out
if you ask him about his reasoning behind leaving so early, he’ll just make excuses and dismiss it as ipc work (there’s a whole angsty idea I have for this related to believing he’s cheating but idk if I should write it)
you try your best to be understanding, staying by his side and comforting him whenever he needs it
in return, he spoils you using his immense wealth
see a necklace you like? no worries, just tell him—tabs always on him after all. want to go out for dinner? of course, the most luxurious restaurant rented out just for the two of you.
it’s his way of making up for his distant nature towards you, he’ll even allow you to hear some stories about his past such as the day he got branded as a slave as he stares at you with a soft gaze and a subtly melancholic smile (he even permits you to call him by his real name, kakavasha!)
with sunday, I believe he’d be a tad bit paranoid when it comes to you
as a neat freak who desperately needs control over anything and everything, he feels like he needs to have some form of control over you as well
you’re very dear and precious to him after all, and he can’t just allow you to slip away from his hands like how robin did
his little bird servants are watching you day and night, making sure you don’t get into any trouble
and at the end of the day, he always asks you regarding what you did the entire day while using his ability to make others tell the truth—he has to make sure you didn’t do anything that would potentially get you into danger, no?
he feels guilty and regretful for resorting to such methods to ensure your complete safety, but he tells himself it’s better to be safe than sorry
if he can, he’ll try to have you by his side as much as possible so he can have you directly under his watch and protect you if necessary
he makes sure to handle you extra delicately and gently, whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he helps you wash your hair
he even allows you privileges such as touching his sensitive wings as well as his halo, hoping it helps convey just how special you are to him
to him, you’re safer under his watchful eye and control as the two of you happily spend your days together
if anyone had even dared to imply that they would harm you, sunday would deal with it immediately and make sure you would never see them again
even with all the dirty work he does, you’ll understand, won’t you? everything he does is for you, after all.
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Hi! Could you do a gojo x reader fic that is angtsy/hurt followed with a happy ending? I don’t have a particular plot in mind, anything you feel like writing I would love! Thank you :)
I’m sorry for the long wait. I still hope you like it! Enjoy reading 🤍✨
Word count: 2956
Warnings: none :)
“Want to hang out Satoruuuu?”, you playfully looked up at him. “No”, he remained as cold as ever. “Fine”, you tried to hide your disappointment with a smile, “Maybe tomorrow”. “I need to go”, Satoru took a sip from his soda before heading inside.
You watched how he happily greeted Shoko, offering a sip from his soda.
“Try it”, he laughed as he shoved the can in her face, “It’s a new flavor”. “I-I don’t want to”, Shoko frowned as she pulled back.
The sight of them laughing caused a piercing sensation in your chest. Satoru was friendly with everyone, in his own way of course, but never with you. You tried so hard for him to like you, but the more you tried, the more distant he got.
“What about you?”, you sighed with a smile. “Sushi?”, Suguru sweetly smiled. “Sushi”, your eyes lit up at the thought.
You often debated whether you should ask Suguru why his friend didn’t seemed to like you, but you were too afraid of the truth. Besides, it didn’t matter. There was nothing you could do. You couldn’t force someone to like you.
—-
“Stop!”, you giggled as Suguru softly hit the back of your head before looking at the sky again. “Are you talking to me?”, Suguru tilted his head, an innocent look on his face. “I swear to God-“, another soft smack against the back of your head. “I’m going to kill you”, you laughed as you tried punch your friend. “Me?”, Geto’s hand was resting on your forehead, preventing you from hitting a blow.
You didn’t know Gojo had been watching the two of you train for the past half hour. In fact, you didn’t even know Gojo was sitting across the field. At this point, he wanted nothing more than to pull his friend away from you and scold you. Not because you were annoying or because you were weak, but because you were flirting with his friend in front of his eyes. Sure, he never made it clear how he felt about you. He was aware how he treated you and what impression that left behind but still…
“Enough”, Suguru softly brushed through your hair, “I’m going to shower”. “Tsk, fine!”, you yelled as he walked away, “You’re just leaving because you know I’m stronger!”.
“Are you ever going to grow up?”, Satoru’s cold voice send shivers down your spine.
You didn’t see him coming, but that didn’t surprise you. He was, after all, the strongest sorcerer alive.
“You’re always laughing, fooling around, but have you actually finished a mission? Without the help of someone else?”, Satoru took your silence as an invite to continue. “You’re always relying on Shoko or Suguru to clean up your mess, to swoop in to save your ass… It’s pathetic”.
He didn’t know why he was being so mean. It’s not like it felt good to see your eyes well up in tears. No. It hurt him. So why… Why was he saying all this?
“I’m trying”, your nails pressed into the soft skin of your hands, leaving little moon-shaped marks behind. “Trying?”, Gojo chuckled, “You’re not trying. You’ve been fooling around with Suguru instead of using your time wisely”. “But we’ll train again and-“.
“You don’t think Suguru would fall for someone like you, right?”.
Silence.
“I’ve seen the way you look at him”, Gojo kept looking at you, despite you avoiding his gaze at all costs. “Don’t fool yourself. Suguru’s only your friend because he pities you”.
No. No. No. No. This wasn’t what he wanted to say at all. He wanted to tell you how jealous he was of his friend, how he would give up everything just for you to look at him with the same admiration in your eyes as with Suguru.
“Are you crying? Seriously? Is the truth that hard for you to swallow? I thought it was obvious but-“. “I’m sorry”, you finally looked up at him, tears streaming down your cheek. “I’m sorry I’m not enough”, you start to sob, black rivers on your cheek from your mascara.
Satoru’s eyes widened as his heart shattered into a million pieces. He did this. He crushed your spirit and the little confidence you had.
“Y/N-“, his voice soft as he watched you pick up your jacket. “I know. I’m a failure”, you continued to sob before walking inside.
Satoru watched as you walked inside, your arm in front of your eyes.
—-
“Why?”, Suguru gritted his teeth, his pace fast as he saw his friend. “Why would you hurt her like that? You know what I feel for her, how much I care-“, Geto tried to contain his anger. “You know how much I care about her”.
Satoru dropped the ball he was holding, completely ignoring Nanami’s presence (who was just happy to leave after losing 3 games of basketball in a row).
“I told her the truth”, Satoru immediately mirrored his friend’s energy.
He couldn’t stay calm, not when it’s about you.
“The truth?”, Geto’s eyes widened, “You told her I pitied her, that she’s pathetic-“. “She is”, Satoru’s hands balled into fists, “We always have to swoop in to save her ass. She can’t even finish off a Grade 4.“. “That still doesn’t give you the right to-“.
“You think I’m weak too?”, your voice shaking. “N-no, of course not!”, Suguru’s heart sank to his stomach. He didn’t realize you’d follow him. “Suguru”, you unwillingly started to sob again.
Satoru could only watch how his friend hurried toward you and wrapped his arms around you. It broke him. The realization that he could never be the one to bring you comfort; that he’d never be the one who made you smile.
“Y-you’re not weak”, Suguru’s digits softly wiped the tears from your cheek, “You’re technique’s just really hard, just like Shoko’s, and you’re even better at using reversed cursed technique than her-“.
Ah. There it was again. That look of love in your eyes, combined with that sweet smile of yours. It felt as if his heart was being ripped out from his chest.
“Come on, let’s get some sushi, okay?”, Suguru softly hummed as he placed a soft kiss on your cheek. “And you”, Suguru’s gaze hardened as he looked back at Satoru before leaving, “You’re going to apologize to her”. “Tsk”, Gojo clicked his tongue as he pretended to be unbothered by all this.
“Does he know?”, Nanami sighed. “Shit”, Gojo almost jumped into the air. He completely forgot Nanami was there too.
“Does Geto know?”, the blonde repeated his question. “What?”. “That you’re in love with her”.
How? How could he possibly now?
“No”, Satoru gritted his teeth, not even bothering to deny it. “Suguru’s been in love with her from the moment he saw her. I can’t-“, Satoru stopped mid-sentence.
It felt good that someone knew. That he could confide in someone.
“And you?”, Nanami let his head fall back. “From the first time she spoke my name”, he replied softly, his heart flooded with regret. “Why didn’t you tell Geto?”.
Because he could never give you what Suguru could; because he could never be as kind and soft-hearted; because he didn’t want you to become a target; because he didn’t want you to get hurt; because –
“Because”, Satoru just lifted his shoulders. He was done with this conversation. There was no point in talking about it anyway. By now, he had hurt you more than enough. There was no space for him in your life.
—
“Be careful, okay?”, you look at Suguru. “You too, Satoru”, you softly added. “Yeah, yeah”, Satoru waived your words away. “Don’t worry, we’ll be back by the end of the week. Besides, we’re the strongest”, Geto sweetly smiled.
God, you loved that man more than anything. However, that was ages ago. Or it felt like ages anyway. You never expected Suguru to become like this. So cold-hearted, so distant. He’d talked to you about his visions; about what he wanted but … You never really thought he’d leave you behind.
“That’s impossible”, you softly whispered, “Suguru would never kill-“. “Tsk”, Satoru gritted his teeth, trying to hold himself back.
Yes. Satoru hated it when he saw you kiss his best friend; when you cupped his cheeks and pulled him close. He didn’t want to be reminded of how sweet you must taste or how soft your skin felt… But he still didn’t want to miss his best friend, to watch his best friend turn into a monster.
“I’m sorry”, your Headmaster crossed his arms, his eyes peering over his glasses. “N-no”, your eyes widened, “It wasn’t him! He would never do something like that!”.
Gojo stared at the ground, his hands clenching the table behind him.
“Suguru would never hurt someone”, tears streaming down your cheek, “S-sure he’s lost his way but that doesn’t mean he’s a murderer”. You looked behind you, trying to understand why Satoru didn’t defend his best friend. “Why are you so quiet? Say something? Tell him that he’s wrong!”, you cried out in disbelief. “Why?”, Gojo clenched his jaw, “It was him. The only traces of cursed energy were his”. “B-but-“, you tried to convince yourself that the person you loved wasn’t a monster. “Don’t you get it?”, Satoru’s words felt like poison, “The Suguru you, we, knew is gone. Stop acting like an idiot”.
“I hate you”, your voice cold before you walked away. There was no point in staying. “Get some rest. You don’t have to attend your classes tomorrow”. You didn’t respond to your Headmaster’s advice. You wanted to be alone.
Satoru widened his eyes. He never saw you like this. So cold, so distant… He wanted to run after you; to tell you he missed Suguru too but he realized all too well that he was the last person you wanted to be around now.
—-
Satoru stopped his tracks as he stood before your room. His heart was racing. It’s been months now since Suguru left and you weren’t doing too well. Everyone could see it; how skinny you’d gotten, how the skin around your eyes darkened each day… It reminded him of how his best friend looked before he ran away, and he wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice not even with someone who hated him. Besides, his feelings for you never changed. Not even when you became an entirely different person. In his eyes, you were still the prettiest girl he’d ever seen and it hurt him more than he could take to see you like this. He wanted to see you smile again, to hear that cute giggle form in between kisses, even though it was because of another man.
“Y/N?”, he softly knocked on your door.
No response.
“Y/N, open the door”, he tried to sound as kind as possible.
His heart fastened as he heard some movement.
“What?”, you slightly opened the door. “Here”, Satoru held out a bag. “What’s that?”, you frowned as you opened the door a little more. “Something to eat”.
His stomach turned when he noticed how much weight you lost. Your once chubby, and cute cheeks were completely gone. Instead, they were replaced by cheekbones that cast a shadow over your face.
“I’m not hungry”, you tried to close your door but Satoru’s foot got in the way. “It’s from your favorite place”, his voice desperate. Your eyes lifted from the ground to look at the bag. “How did you know?”, your voice still cold.
How did he know? What was he going to say? That he practically stalked you and overheard almost every word when you were in the same room as him?
“Just eat something”, he gently pushed your door open. “N-no”, you hastily tried to close the door but there was no strength left in your body.
Satoru’s eyes widened as his heart shattered. Your room was a mess, something he expected but … He didn’t realize you kept all of Suguru’s clothes he left behind. There was his shirt wrapped around your pillow, two of his sweaters spread on your bed, his jacket thrown on your chair…
“Happy now?”, you frowned.
God, Satoru never felt so jealous. Matter of fact, he felt so jealous that he was angry. How could you still care so much about Suguru? Sure, he missed his best friend too but he realised what he had become and which side he chose to join.
“This isn’t healthy”, he entered your room without permission, “I’m taking his stuff”. “N-no!”, you immediately ran toward the white-haired man. “You’re not touching anything!”, you grabbed his arm as you tried to pull him back. “Stay back”, Gojo coldly replied as he placed the bag of sushi on your cluttered desk. “Stop!”, you cried out as you saw him grab Suguru’s clothes. “I hate you!”, you screamed as you desperately tried to pull him back. “Don’t you get it?”, Gojo raised his voice, “He isn’t coming back. He left you. Just as he left me. There’s no point in clinging onto the past”. “He is! I know he is!”, you punched him as he grabbed your trashcan.
You paused for a swift second as you realized you could touch him, meaning he wasn’t using his cursed energy.
“Stop!”, you balled your fists again. “Tsk”, Satoru grabbed both of your wrists with one hand, “Look at me”. “N-no”, your head hanging low, tears streaming down your cheek. “Look at me”, his voice soft as he loosened his grip. “N-no”, your sobs got heavier.
“I know it hurts”, he softly cupped your face as his thumbs wiped away your tears, “I miss him too but he isn’t coming back. You need to move on. You can’t just keep on starving yourself and missing your classes”. “N-no, he’s coming back. He’d never leave me behind without saying goodbye, without-“, you tried to control your breathing as reality hit you in the face. The person you loved wasn’t coming back.
Satoru didn’t know what to do or what to say. There weren’t any words left to make you feel better.
“It’s okay, let it all out”, his arms wrapped around you, holding you close.
He was mad at Suguru for leaving you like this, but once he pulled you close and his nose took in the scent of your hair… He felt almost thankful. He’d wanted to hold you like this for so long. Sure, he didn’t want you to feel like this but if it meant he could hold you…
“Why? Why did he leave?”, your broken voice broke through his thoughts. He immediately felt sick again. “I don’t know”, he softly pulled away, leaving a cold feeling behind. “You need to eat”, he continued after your lack of response. “No”. “Yes”, he chuckled as he walked to your desk. “Here, eat”. “Fine, I’ll eat some”, you walked to your door. “No”, Satoru folded his arms, “I want to see you eat”. “You’re not going to leave, are you?”, you sighed at the realization. “Nope”, he smirked as he looked over his glasses. “Fine”, you grunted in agitation. “A plate of sushi for Miss Y/N”, Satoru playfully got the sushi out of the bag. “Satoru-“, you sighed. “Oh, I almost forgot”, he ignored you, “A plate of sushi and some strawberry mochi as dessert”.
“Strawberry mochi?”, your eyes widened. Maybe you were a little hungry after all. “No”, Gojo held the mochi up high, “You’re going to eat your sushi first.
—-
“You’re looking better”, Satoru smiled as he watched you close your door. “Y-yeah, I tried to look decent”, you shyly answered. “Come on, let’s go”, he placed his hands in his pockets in an attempt to try and stop himself from pulling you close.
You two had gotten closer over the past few weeks, and Satoru wasn’t complaining.
“Where are we going?”. “Oh, I didn’t tell you?”. “No”, you softly answered. “Well, it’s a surprise then”. “I don’t like surprises”. “Fine”, Satoru rolled his eyes, “We’re going to the city. You need new clothes”. “I don’t-“, you paused as you realized you didn’t have that many clothes that still fit you. “Thought so”, Gojo smirked contently, “We can grab some sushi before heading home”.
—-
“This was actually fun”, you looked down as the metro kept his steady pace. “Fun?”, Satoru sighed, “My hands are sore from carrying your bags”. “You said I needed some clothes”. “Yeah yeah, fine”, he sighed, “I’m just glad you’re happy”.
He didn’t want this day to end. He wanted to stay in this moment forever. Every minute the metro got closer to Jujutsu High, his heart got heavier.
“Here”, he sighed as he placed your bags on your bed. “Be sure to get some rest for our classes tomorrow”. “Hm”, you softly hummed. “What?”, he looked down as he tried to study your face. “Nothing”, your cheeks red. “Why are you blushing?”, Satoru tilted his head, his nose almost touching yours as he looked at you.
And then it happened. Something he never expected.
“H-huh”, Gojo’s eyes widened as you placed a swift kiss on his lips.
He didn’t move. He was frozen in place as he could see your big eyes staring at him, your cheeks redder than ever.
“I’m sorry”, you hastily apologized when he kept still.
Satoru didn’t answer, instead, his hands cupped your cheek as he pulled you close again. His entire aura changed, all his playfulness disappeared like snow in the sun.
“Right”, he chuckled as he softly broke free from the kiss. “W-what?”. “Your lips”, he placed another swift kiss on them before he continued, “They taste like strawberries, just as I imagined”.
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"Change will change you." -Nick ⁉️
Nick x Reader BSF
SYNOPSIS - Nick's been your best friend since you were kids, but for the past month, he's been ignoring you. He won't answer texts, won't return your calls. Life's been hell since he went MIA, so you decide to finally try and start pulling yourself together.
Note: My first story... be nice pls...
Word Count: 2351
WARNINGS: Burnout, Depression
Y/n’s POV
I remember when I thought that scraping my knee or falling off my bike was the most painful thing in the world, but I know now that I was very wrong. What hurts more than anything in the world, is feeling truly alone. Like you’ve been cast out to sea, and all you have is the whispers in the back of your head to stay sane.
All I can manage to do is lie in bed all day, wasting away while the world around me carries on. The sound of rain outside pelting the window only adds to the hollowness that I’m feeling. Everything felt like it was falling apart, I was being ghosted by my closest friend, everyone else moved away to college early, and doing any small thing felt like the most exhausting task in the world. Not to mention that my parents were currently several states away for work.
And as I was contemplating my depressing thoughts, I felt a slight vibration from my phone that was somewhere under my comforter. I sat up and rummaged around my bed in the dark searching for my phone. Eventually I found it and unlocked it immediately, being blinded by the screen as I did so. I scrolled through my notifications and instead of finding a new message from Nick, I found that my health app was reminding me to drink water. I wasn’t going to.
I opened my messages and I immediately saw the words I dreaded seeing beside Nick’s contact. “Read”.
I’ve been left on read again... 63 messages in the past month, and Nick hasn’t replied to any of them. I don’t even know why I feel surprised, I knew what the outcome was even before I sent it.
Nick, do you wanna hangout on Friday? (2:37 Pm 7/23) Read
…
Hey, I haven’t heard from you in awhile, how are you? (3:13 Pm 7/30) Read
…
Nick, I’m worried about you, please msg me. (12:04 Am 8/12) Read
…
Did I do something wrong? (9:13 Am 8/18) Read
…
Can you just tell me why you won’t respond? (8:15 Pm Yesterday) Read
I laughed a bit as I scrolled through our messages again. I knew he was busy with his career, that it was important to him. I just never thought that I would be thrown away for it.
Nick was my best friend. We grew up together, we watched each other go from things like dinosaur phases to graduating highschool. It feels like a part of my life is missing without him, but I can’t let it get me down forever.
I know that it’s raining, but I could go outside. I need some fresh air.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Nick’s POV
It was raining outside when Y/n texted me, it feels like forever since I’ve seen him. Part of me feels guilty for not reaching out, but the other half feels like it would shatter if I saw him again. I walked outside towards the van joining my brothers, trying hard to ignore those lingering thoughts.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Y/n’s POV
I just let myself walk, taking random turns every now and then. The slight drizzle and breeze wasn’t horrible, but still annoying nonetheless. It just feels like everything distant… Like I’m watching everything happen from an outside perspective. The dozens of cars driving by, people waiting at the bus stop, groups of friends walking around together… The world seems so alive, and yet I was just a bystander to everything that was going on.
It was exhausting. The mental strain, the emptiness that always followed… I was tired of it all. I just wanted to feel normal again, but how could I do that when a part of my life feels like it was ripped apart.
Eventually I ended up at one of my favourite places to hangout, at least I used to. I don’t even know when or how I got here. I thought that I was taking a random route, but maybe I subconsciously brought myself here. Kelly’s Diner, the place where Nick and I used to spend hours just talking to each other, laughing obnoxiously as the hours drifted by, up until they were closing.
I wanted to go inside, to try and find some happiness here again, but some part of me told me it wasn’t worth it. But I ignored that feeling and went inside anyway, being greeted by the pink and green detailed interior. It seemed foreign to me, despite all the times that I’ve been here. I walked up to the counter, sitting on the cushioned bar stools that were still as uncomfortable as I remembered.
One of the workers made their way over to where I was sitting after dealing with a table around the corner. It was Spencer, a guy from school, but I mainly knew him from all the times that I came here with Nick. He always got annoyed whenever we got too loud and bothered everyone else in the diner.
“Haven’t seen you in awhile.” Spencer said, his usual tired face telling me all I needed to know.
“Long shift?” I asked him sarcastically.
“Yeah, works been a bitch lately, how bout you?”
“It’s been going.” I said, stretching my arms over my head. “Can I just get a chocolate ice cream frappe?”
“No fries or anything” Spencer clarified, to which I gave him a quick nod. “Alright, I’ll get that to you in a bit.” and with that he walked into the kitchen, coming out moments later to give food to the table he was at earlier.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Nick’s POV
Hanging out with Matt and Chris was always fun, but it was also a great distraction. I always hated when things were out of my control… hated how I felt insecure when I started to fall apart. Hated how all I could ever do was run away from the problem instead of facing them. And here I am, trying to suppress the sorrows by smiling and laughing with my brothers.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Y/n’s POV
After a couple minutes, Spencer finally made his way over to me, my drink in hand.
“One chocolate ice cream frappe for my favourite customer.” He said, setting down the drink in front of me.
“Thanks” is all I managed to let out.
“Let me know if you need anything else.” and with that, Spencer walked off to start wiping down some tables.
All I did was stare at the frappe for a bit, reminiscing on the past. When Nick and I came here, I’d always ordered the chocolate one, and he’d always get vanilla. It felt strange only seeing one of them on the counter, but I was starting to feel less bothered by it the longer I stared. When I finally did take a sip, a wave of warmth enveloped my body.
It tasted just how I remembered, maybe a bit better actually. And it was at that moment that I knew I was going to be okay. When life realigned for a second to let me catch my breath. I’d kept myself stuck in place, and now I was finally moving on my own again, no external force driving me forward. Just me, and I’m going to have to accept that fact.
The fact that Nick wouldn’t always be there anymore. I mean, I did miss him and all, he was my ride or die… and sometimes it felt like he was just around the corner. And as I thought about these stupid ideas, I heard his laugh. His obnoxiously perfect laugh.
He was here, Nick was actually here. It was the most relieving yet horrifying thing I’ve ever experienced. I set down a ten dollar tip on the counter and got up from my chair, slowly walking towards the source of the sound. My legs felt heavier with every step that got me closer, until I made it to the corner and finally I saw him. And there he was, smiling and laughing with Matt and Chris, a vanilla frappe in hand.
I pulled up my phone and started to text Nick. One last attempt before I walk away from all of this.
I miss you. (6:27 Pm Today) Sent
And I watched as he picked up the phone, and set it down just as fast. Leaving those four letters on my screen once again. “Read”. And in that moment, I didn’t care anymore, how could I care anymore. I was so fucking tired of caring. Tired of spending all my time and energy on this. I stood up from my chair, making a loud squeaking from its legs scratching on the floor. All I could think about was getting out of here as fast as I could.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Nick’s POV
A loud sound from behind me took my attention away from the conversation that me and Chris were having, and I turned to see Y/n. He didn’t look like his usual self though. His hair was messily done, which wasn’t like him at all, and his clothes were slightly wet from the rain outside. He hates the rain.
By the time he was out the door, I found myself getting up abruptly and following after him. I heard Chris and Matt yelling something at me but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. Y/n looked like he was in shambles, and it was because of me. Because of how selfish I’ve been.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Y/n’s POV
The rain was a lot worse than it was 20 minutes ago, going from a slight drizzle to a full on shower. I kept walking as fast as I could, trying to calm myself down. The tears on my face were blending in with the downpour. And I could hear Nick following behind me yelling my name.
“Y/N!” Nick yelled over the loud sound of rain, but I ignored it.
My walk sped up into a jog.
“Y/N!” He yelled again, but I still didn’t stop.
My jogging turned into running.
“Y/n just stop for a minute, please.” Nick pleaded, but I was being torn apart. Why now? Why after all this time? Nick didn’t bother to write a single text explaining anything and here he was running after me. He hates running.
I turned my head back to look at Nick but tripped over the uneven sidewalk. I managed to catch myself, scraping both my palms on the wet sidewalk, but it let Nick catch up to me.
“Are you okay?” Nick asked, catching his breath and offering me a hand to help me up.
“I’m fine Nick.” I slapped his hand away and got back up, trying to leave once again, but he grabbed onto my wrist before I could. “Nick let me go.” I said, trying to escape his grasp. The tears were falling harder now.
“Y/n…”
“I said let me go Nick!” I yanked my hand away from him, turning around and continuing on my way.
“Just let me explai-”
“Explain what?” I hissed out, stopping for a moment before turning around and finally facing him. “Explain how you fucking abandoned me?” He took a step back. “Explain how you ghosted me for a whole month?” He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out, so I kept on going. “Cause I want you to explain it Nick, I want you to fucking explain how you could throw me away like I was a piece of fucking trash.” My voice broke on the last few words, and I felt horrible yelling that at him, but part of me felt justified about it, which made me feel even worse.
“Y/n…” Nick started, struggling to find the right words. “What I did… it wasn’t okay. And I don’t know that you’ll ever forgive me.” He paused for a second to compose himself. I couldn’t tell if he was crying, or if it was the rain. “And it was selfish of me to do that. Selfish of me to just ignore you and not tell you why.”
“Then why didn’t you?” I yelled out, the frustration that I’ve been holding inside lashing out.
“Because I like you.” Nick said, which left me speechless. “I’ve liked you for so long and I know that you’ll never like me back that way, and it was so fucking hard watching you be so happy with other people romantically. It was so hard waiting for myself to fall out of love with you because of how much I care about our friendship… but I couldn’t take it anymore.”
“Nick… I…” I didn’t know what to say… didn’t know what to do.
“You don’t have to say anything Y/n, it’s fine.” Nick said, looking down at the ground. He looked as miserable as me.
“Nick…” I took a step forward and hugged him. “I don’t think I could ever like you that way, but you’ve been one of the most important things throughout my life.” I stopped for a second, pulling him out of the hug and looking him face to face. “And if this is what you need to be happy, then it’s okay. I understand.” I took a deep breath in. “But I want you to know this. You’ve been one of the best things in my life, and you always will be.” and with that, turned around and walked away.
It’s taken a lot of time to accept this change, and at first, I really didn’t want to. Sure it still kinda hurt to think about, but as I looked down at my scraped palms, I knew I could get past this too. I looked back at Nick one last time to see Matt and Chris finally reunite with him, and for the first time in a long time, I smiled.
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there are two ends of the table, and adriah is caught in between both.
one end is where he usually frequents, with his english-speaking teammates. they share a common tongue, an understanding of how it feels to live overseas and play for a foreign league. but when they start talking about their spouses and kids, that's when the commonalities stop, because at 28, adriah has only had one relationship that ended because his partner didn’t want to go long-distant.
so, he turns to the other end, where the younger, rowdier players congregate, except there's one problem: they speak japanese, and his own comprehension is similar to watching anime without subs - enough to understand the context, but not enough to respond intelligently.
and then there's inunaki, who sits across from him, alternating between gushing about his fiancée with meian and barnes, and egging hinata and bokuto to drink more. oh, to be bilingual enough to have such finesse over language. if adriah knew he'd play in japan, he would've studied japanese instead of french.
he looks at his phone, then at his glass, beer foam left along the rim. bar nights with the team can either be the most fun all week or the most isolating thing in the world. tonight, it’s the latter.
he stands. inunaki watches him. “bathroom?”
“just need some air.”
“okay.” laughter catches the libero’s attention, and he switches to japanese when he addresses miya. it’s frightening how he can easily code switch. adriah stuffs his hands in his pockets and slinks out of the izakaya.
the sky is dark, stars dimmed. he finds a bench not too far away and sits, phone out. it’s around 4 am back home. all the messages that he last sent to his friends and family were from him. he probably won’t hear back from them until the next morning. his sigh is long, throwing his head back to stare at the clouds.
when he’d gotten word that the black jackals accepted him, his family was overjoyed. they’d known how hard he’d trained to break into overseas teams, and to get accepted into a division 1 team after the first tryout is impressive. management helped him secure an apartment, prepared his papers, welcomed him to osaka. for the first few months, he got by using japanese that he picked up here and there, relied on the team’s bilingual staff, got close to the other players that spoke english. for the others, they managed to find some middle ground using gestures and simple words from both languages. it was fine.
and it still mostly is. some days, it’s easy. some days, it’s hard.
the izakaya door slides open and sounds of drunken salarymen and rowdy customers drift outside. he hears another voice that shouts over them. “adriah!”
he straightens as his newest teammate bounces over. he was immediately jealous of hinata when he first joined, already familiar with bokuto, miya, and sakusa, and he was fluent enough to converse everyone else, even mistakenly speaking in portuguese from time to time. he’s a whirlwind with an unpredictable path.
“hey.” adriah gives him a small smile. “did you need some air, too?”
hinata nods. “can i sit with you?” his accent is heavy, though not as bad as bokuto, who apparently struggles enough with japanese. miya usually acts as his translator, although his kansai accent makes it difficult to understand him at times.
adriah nods, and his teammate sits. for a while, they just stare into the darkness, listen to the train rattle in the distance, watch the lights wink in and out of existence. hinata speaks. “i know how it feels to be left out.”
he stares at him. hinata keeps his eyes forward, arms leaned on his knees. “i didn’t know any portuguese when i went to brazil. i wasn’t good at english either, and i didn’t speak japanese often. some days, it got so confusing that i’d speak japanese instead of english, or portuguese instead of japanese.” his chuckle is soft. “but i was still able to talk with the others, even if i didn’t understand everything.”
hinata straightens, catches his eye, gives him a smile. “if you want to join the conversation, just jump in. the others won’t mind. none of us are very good at english, so we speak japanese, but don’t let it stop you.”
“i think you’re doing fine,” adriah blurts out. “your accent, i mean. it’s good.”
“your japanese is good, too! we can help you learn.” hinata jumps to his feet. “wanna head back in?”
adriah blinks at him. even in the night, he’s still as radiant as the sun. “okay.”
back inside the izakaya they go. many of their teammates’ glasses are refilled, including adriah’s. they sit down, and hinata turns to the others, speaking in english. “bokuto-san! tell us the story again. adriah wants to hear.”
“huh?” the owl-haired wing spiker looks at adriah, surprise in his golden eyes. hinata gives him an encouraging nod. “okay! tsum-tsum, you help translate!”
“ugh, bokkun, what happened to yer daily practice?” miya grumbles, his kansai accent sharpening his vowels.
sakusa rolls his eyes, glancing at adriah. “it’s not an interesting story. just some dumb thing he mistakenly saw on his run.” out of everyone, he knows the most english. apparently, it’s because he spends a lot of time online reading about overseas cleaning products to import.
“i’d like to hear it, anyway,” adriah says, smiling.
and so, bokuto tells the story again, speaking in english, backtracking in japanese, correcting himself when he’s provided a proper translation. adriah helps fill in the blanks, offers alternate vocabulary options, repeats some of the japanese words for himself. it’s a process, but he stitches together the narrative in both languages, and by the end of it, he’s laughing with hinata, while bokuto yells that it isn’t funny.
adriah might not have the finesse to move seamlessly from one end to the next, but he’s confident that no matter which side he ends up at, he’ll be accepted with open arms.
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