#i feel like the elliot that lived in italy

[yoyok-era]

my tears ricochet | E. Stabler x O. Benson

Elliot Stabler x Olivia Benson ♡ 942 ♡ Ao3

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

“We gather here, we line up Weepin' in a sunlit room, and If I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes too Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe All the hell you gave me? 'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you 'Til my dying day.”

Her brain feels like it’s on fire as she stands in front of him for the first time in 10 years. He’s here; he’s back. 

And his wife has just been the victim of a car bombing.

The silence is loud as they stare at each other. She wants to hug him, to hit him, to yell and cry and scream because it wasn't fair then, and it certainly isn't fair now, but she can't do anything but stand there and look at him.

“They tried to kill her.” He’s the first to break the silence, shifting his gaze to the ambulance behind her. “They tried to kill Kathy.

“Go,” Her voice finally obeys her. “I’ll meet you at the hospital.”

She can't keep her head on straight as she drives behind the ambulance. She hears Fin talking to her through her car speaker, but she's too out of it to register anything he's saying. He hangs up eventually, and she's alone in the too-loud silence again.

10 years. 10 fucking years. Where has he been all this time? New York? Somewhere else? Why is he only showing up now? The questions race through her mind faster than any of the traffic lights that flash by outside. What will happen now that he’s here? Is he staying? Is he leaving again? Can she handle him leaving again, now that she knows he's been here?

She eventually stops her car in the hospital parking lot and watches as they unload Kathy from the ambulance. They wheel her into the building, and Elliot stays with his wife, holding her hand and massaging her shoulder. It's the comfort Olivia wanted from him in 2013, and now she's watching him give it to someone else.

She doesn't enter the building. It feels like an invasion of Elliot and Kathy's privacy somehow, if she goes in. She's not close to them like that, not anymore.

She sees Kathy in her head. The Kathy from 15 years ago, flatlining in the back of an ambulance with a brace around her neck and a baby on her chest. She can still smell the blood.

"-iv. Liv?" The voice from behind her pulls her out of her thoughts, and she turns around to face her sergeant.

"You okay?" He says, too tentative and too careful. A stark contrast from how he'd been when he called her earlier that evening. 

She doesn't answer his question.

"I followed Elliot here. I barely talked to him. Kathy just went into surgery. How did this happen? Why?" She gestures vaguely toward the ambulance, tries not to let her voice reveal too much of how she's feeling about the situation.

Fin is quick to reassure her, and she's grateful for it. "Rollins is at the scene. A uni told her it was a rental car parked on the street. Kathy went to get in, and the bomb went off. Arson thinks it misfired and threw her clear." He speaks slowly, watches her for her reactions. 

Sometimes she thinks he knows her too well, and its times like this when she's proven to be correct.

"A rental car, what... where are they in from?"

"They've been living in Italy, Elliot had to come in for some type of a task force meeting, and he and Kathy decided to make it a trip,"

Italy. 4000 miles across the Ocean. 10 years.

"He just called me out of nowhere and told me he was coming," Fin continues. "I may have spoken about your award. I thought enough time had gone down between you two."

She ignores the guilt starting to claw at the inside at of her stomach, diverts the conversation. "Okay, a task force? Who's he working for?"

"NYPD. He's the international liaison in Rome. 

"Since when?" If he was still here in 2013, if he was here during Lewis then–

Fin knows what she's referring to. He doesn't answer solely because they're thinking the same thing. "Look, this is all I know. You're gonna have to ask him."

She turns around at the footsteps behind her, takes in the disheveled man walking towards them. He looks older than the last time she saw him, the bags under his eyes darker, his shoulders slouching, his hair shorter than she remembers. But his face is the same; the nose and the eyes, the way he walks.

He hugs Fin first, who tells him that he's there for him, and then turns to her.

"How's Kathy?" Is the only thing she can think to say.

"They're still working on her... burns, concussion, fractured pelvis," he sighs, puts his detectives mask on, and turns back to Fin. "What do we know?"

Fin gives him the rundown, and for a fraction of second Olivia feels like she back with the old squad talking about a case before reality comes back to her and there's a mountain of distance between her and her old partner.

"She shouldn't have even been driving... I got a call. I slipped away. I gave her the keys.... She was worried we were gonna be late for your award. I meant to give you a call–"

"–It's okay, Elliot, please." she stops him, and her voice sounds shaky. 

"Tell me she's gonna be okay." His eyes are filled with tears, and she has to be careful about her next words because if his tears fall then so will hers.

"Kathy's a fighter, you know that."

She stays outside when his kids arrive, tells them that she's there for them if they need anything, and stays outside as the family she's no longer a part of walks upstairs. 

#bensler #olivia benson #elliot stabler #special victims unit #law and order svu #svu #svu fanfiction #olivia benson x elliot stabler #eo #eo fanfiction #bensler fanfiction #sybilwrites

[rahleeyah]

So I’ve been pretty optimistic about EO and still am for the most part but next week’s OC makes me nervous 😩😩😩 why does Elliot have more communication with someone he knew in Italy than with Olivia? And he better not sleep with that other woman. How is Olivia supposed to feel like he wants her if he keeps sleeping with everyone but her 😭😭😭 I need to be talked down from the ledge lol

bestie I am on the ledge with you lmao I said this last week, but I'm really grumpy with how the oc show runners have gone the boring, tired, isolated, man-pain route with Elliot this season. last season we saw him opening up and working on his relationships, with bell, with his family, with liv even. we saw him coming to terms with himself. and now he is alone and brooding when he doesn't have to be for narrative reasons; the show runners have invented reasons to make him the most generic sort of action hero and cut him off from the softer parts of him that make Elliot who he is.

SOOOOOO. that being said.

I am trying not to let my salt get in my way. I don't know that they're going to do something shady with this lady; there is an opportunity here to not take the most obvious path, to do something fresh and interesting with her, and I want, desperately, for the writers to be good enough not to reach for the low hanging fruit. so I live in hope, as always

#asks #s.vu #e.o asks

[denimbex1986]

'Andrew Scott looked typically handsome on Wednesday, as he attended the premiere of his new series, Ripley, in Los Angeles.

The actor, 47, beamed as he posed with his co-star Dakota Fanning, after receiving rave reviews for his performance in the show.

Andrew plays the lead role of the ruthless Tom Ripley in the Netflix adaptation, previously portrayed by Matt Damon in the 1999 version, The Talented Mr Ripley.

The Irish star looked dapper in an olive green suit, teamed with a white vest and black leather loafers.

While, Dakota, 30, dazzled in an ethereal white gown, with an asymmetrical neckline and floaty layered skirt.

The actress stars in Ripley as wealthy socialite, Marge Sherwood, famously played by Gwyneth Paltrow in the 1999 film.

Ripley was released on Netflix on Thursday and the first reviews have flooded in, with critics praising the 'work of art' visuals and Andrew's stellar performance.

The eight-episode series is the latest adaptation of Patricia Highsmith's 1955 crime novel, which inspired an entire genre of psychological thrillers.

Alongside Andrew and Dakota, the cast also boasts appearance from Johnny Flynn, Elliot Sumner, Maurizio Lombardi, Margherita Buy, and John Malkovich.

Set in the 1960s, it follows calculating grifter Tom Ripley as he is hired by the wealthy Herbert Greenleaf to travel to Italy in a last ditch bid to convince his wayward, jazz loving son Dickie to return home.

There, he is introduced to a life of wealth and privilege beyond his wildest dreams and endeavours to finagle his way into the comfortable lives of Dickie and his immediate circle of friends and lovers - with inevitably murderous consequences.

The Daily Mail's Christopher Stevens gave the series a five star review, as did The Guardian, saying: 'There is magic at work here.'

Andrew's performance received the most attention, with The Times writing: 'Scott, as you would expect, is outstanding — mesmeric as the polite, clever but ruthless psychopath.'

While the Evening Standard declared: 'Andrew Scott is a magnificent Tom Ripley, inhabiting that compellingly ambivalently malevolent outsider character so well.'

Andrew admitted Ripley was 'a heavy part to play,' telling Vanity Fair that he 'found it mentally and physically really hard. That's just the truth of it'.

'I feel like you're required to love and advocate for your characters, and your job is to go, "Why? What's that?" You don't play the opinions, the previous attitudes that people might have about Tom Ripley.

'You have to throw all those out, try not to listen to them, and go, "Okay, well, I have to have the courage to create our own version and my own understanding of the character."''

#Andrew Scott #Dakota Fanning #Ripley #Netflix #The Talented Mr Ripley #Johnny Flynn #Dickie Greenleaf #Marge Sherwood #Matt Damon #Gwyneth Paltrow #Eliot Sumner #Maurizio Lombardi #Margherita Buy #John Malkovich

[milquetoast-on-acid]

I keep thinking about that time that Olivia wanted to go to a Museum. And Cassidy was like Naw, that’s totally lame. When Elliot was in Italy, him and Kathy went to museums all the time. I just really want Elliot to take Olivia to some of those museums she wanted to go to.

i want this date for them.

#when they start dating #this is the date i want #i understand cassidy didn't want to go but you go because your girl wants to #even if you don't have an interest in it #you just do stuff for your s/o #and they do things for you they might not have an interest in #and idk but how do you not like museums? #elliot would totally go to a museum with olivia #he would have back in the day #i feel like the elliot that lived in italy #really got to appreciate art and history and different cultures #enough to really have a good time at the museums and art galleries #eo #bensler #olivia and elliot #elliot and olivia #elliot x olivia #olivia x elliot #law and order svu #law and order organized crime #oc #svu #cassidy #brian cassidy #olivia benson #elliot stabler #benson and stabler #elliot was no idiot but he never really got to enjoy life and learn #he got married when he was a kid and then raised five kids while working OT with his soulmate. #so he had no time to really do the whole museum thing and just enjoying life until he got out of svu

[orionares]

Whumptober: Day 7- Helplessness

Whumptober: Day 7- Helplessness

Law and Order: SVU/ Law and Order: OC

--------------------------

"William Lewis, yeah. He was that psycho who took your old partner, right?"

Guilt is eating him alive.

Logically, the seasoned detective knows that the helplessness he feels due to a nine year old event is the simple fact that he had panicked and took his family to Italy while Olivia fought alone against a monster.

The brown liquid on the counter above him tempts him to make himself numb and even forget the confusion from an old CI he had crossed paths with an hour earlier.

"I'd heard that you'd dropped off the face of the Earth, man. How the hell'd you miss that?"

He'd been in a villa, pretending to be a happy husband with Kathy.

Elliot's eyes take in the RV's scattered contents on the floor- crumpled papers, his tattered sweater and then finally on his cellphone, still open to the first photo in Olivia's case file.

The image of her battered, bruised, bloody- it will never leave him.

Elliot leans forward and pulls the small device back to him. He picks up and unlocks the phone and once more chokes back a sob on the image of Olivia in a hospital bed. The detective swipes to the next image and in seconds, Elliot bolts to dry heave into the trash next to the counter.

The picture is of a cigarette burn on her skin.

"Shit," Elliot curses and he spits before sliding back into a sitting position. He pinches his nose and curses again, " Shit."

He's tempted to get as numb as possible before forcing himself to look through the rest of the file. It should be easy as he's looked through thousands of case files.

But this file will break him as it contains all of the details that could answer or diminish the dozens of questions and scenarios swirling around his mind.

If he'd been in the city instead of prolonging the end of a marriage, Olivia could have been rescued earlier.

They could have prevented Lewis from doing any harm.

He could have sat outside of her apartment to see her blink her lights, let her cope in her own way and-

"Shit," Elliot curses for the third time.

The fact that they will always be possibilities leaves him helpless. Tears forming quickly in his eyes begin to fall freely down his cheek. Everything begins to pull him down until the final question that he's most scared pops up.

Had that asshole?

Did he- did that piece of shit-

Oh God.

"Liv?"

Elliot can hear the sleepiness in her voice as she answers his frantic call an hour later. Tears are still running down his cheek even as he sighs in relief at hearing her voice.

"Elliot, it's two in the morning," Olivia grumbles. She yawns and mumbles, "Are you ok?"

"I'm, " he knows that his voice is tearful, giving up that he isn't remotely ok. "I'm not drugged or drunk if that's what you're thinking. Kids are ok and the case is still going.".

"Okay," Olivia replies cautiously.

"One of my CI's told me about what happened to you," Elliot sniffles. "That someone kidnapped you and did God knows what else and I wasn't here. You could have died and I never would have-'' His body begins to shake from his sobs. "I'm so sorry for everything. I'm so sorry for not being the man and the partner I should have been-"

"But-"

"I love you with everything I have and should have given you," He sobs, wiping away a bead of sweat from his forehead. There's no guarantee , he knows this in his heart, that there's no chance of him ever being able to say what he needs to say like this again. "I don't deserve you-"

"Stop." Olivia's tone stops him dead mid meltdown with the same forcefulness he had seen during her face off with the FBI agent. She's a Captain now, a leader having to deal with a guilty man drowning in past mistakes. "Elliot. Where are you?"

"I-" For the briefest moment, Elliot wants to end the conversation and run- she shouldn't have to come find me with a child. He sure as hell doesn't want her to meet Eddie Ashes and the man's living arrangement. "But-"

"Elliot, you can either tell me upfront or I can wake TARU and find you myself." In the following beat, Elliot can hear shuffling on her end of the line and he knows he's screwed. "Where are you, El?"

El, The nickname feels like a twist of the knife in his chest. "I'm in- Liv, you shouldn't-"

"I'll find you," Olivia cuts in again. Her tone screams-You push me away again, we are done.. "Give me an hour."

----------

A loud knock on the door jolts him out of his dazed stupor.

Elliot sighs at the sound, hoping like hell that Albi and the crew are waiting outside the door. The love of his life shouldn’t be standing outside a decrepit RV in the middle of the night to tend to his emotional wounds. He glances down to his cellphone to see that she’s managed to find him in 45 minutes.

“Eddddieee, le’ me in,” comes from behind the door. Olivia’s voice is recognizable but the drawl and use of his undercover name is unexpected. Elliot grunts as he pulls himself onto his feet and stumbles to the door. He opens the door and finds a figure standing in a sweater and baseball cap. Olivia’s auburn hair peeks out of hood just enough for him to see that it’s truly her.

Out in the open and at risk because of him.

Olivia doesn’t wait for an invitation and slides in through the open area in the doorway. He flinches as she continues to play the part of the late night visitor needing Eddie by running her hands underneath his chin as she passes. She waits until Elliot closes the door behind her before asking, “Who told you?”

“Does it matter?” Elliot mumbles. He walks to the bed and plops down on the edge. “You didn’t need to come.”

“Bullshit, Elliot. You don’t call me,” Olivia argues as she pulls down her hood, “and then do the yo-yo thing. I love you, Stay away from me, here’s the letter, guess what- Kathy wrote it. Enough!”

He drops his shoulders in defeat. “You're right.”

Olivia marches up to him and snaps, “Enough, Elliot! I’m tired of this- cards out on the table! What am I to you?”

“Everything.” Elliot meets her eyes and notes her defensiveness, her readiness to push him away. He’s at the end of the line, tired and broken. “Like I said before, I love you. In the parallel universe, in the other life where I wasn’t scared, I’d hope to make you happy and keep you safe. We would have gone to Italy and Greece and wherever else you'd want us to go. "

Olivia's face softens at the confession. He knows she's eying him down in the barely lit RV with clues into a possible inebriation. She walks up to him slowly and stops right at his knees. As if on instinct and a need for an anchor, he rests his forehead against her stomach . "You broke my heart," she whispers.

Elliot wraps his arms around her waist, melting into her warmth. "I know, " the detective whimpers.

"Elliot," Olivia calls down to him, " I need you to promise me three things before we say anything further."

He raises his head to look up to her and swallows hard in nervous anticipation.

“One- be smart. You are a single father- do not do anything to get yourself killed and come home. “

The unspoken words hover in the air between them. If you die before we finally figure things out, I will resurrect you and then shoot you twice.

“Two- don’t look into Lewis until I’m ready to talk.” Olivia bites her lip and adds, “He didn’t rape me. He did other things but..don’t go down that rabbit hole until you start to try and heal.”

Even after easing his biggest fear, he’s still hesitant to stay away from the case file.“I can do that.”

“And three, I need you to give me time. I need time to know that you won’t leave and that I can trust you again. I need time before we…..”Olivia looks away to try and compose herself, “ I need time. Promise?”

He'll never tell her but those three promises will be the anchor to keep him afloat during his undercover stint. "I promise."

#whumptober2021 #law and order svu #law and order oc #bensler #olivia benson #elliot stabler #no.7 #helplessness

[yannfredericks]

Having INTENSE Yann Fredericks thoughts now and always so here’s some of my headcanons I’ve developed over the past 3/4 years:

-he speaks several languages including French, German, Italian, English and a bit of Welsh bc he lived there for several years as a child

-his two mums (whose names I can never fully decide on sorry) are French and German, but he has family in Italy, and they lived in Wales while they tried to figure out a way to have a second child bc they were having a lot of complications

-one of his mums runs a patisserie and the other one is a mind healer/therapist! he has really great and healthy relationships with them both and is sort of the resident gang therapist bc he knows so much about healthy communication, processing feelings etc

-he has a sister called Leah! They’re very close even though she’s five years younger, and due to the complications she was born without her left leg, but she’s got a magical prosthetic that can change colours! Once she’s sorted into Hufflepuff she usually has it in the same yellow colour

-he did a lot of dance growing up and was really good at it! mainly ballet with Leah (once they got her prosthetic sorted) but he gave it up once he got to Hogwarts which he super regrets bc he misses it so much. I think he gets back into it when he’s 16/17, but in any case he is incredibly in tune with his body and has a very graceful and precise way of moving, like you can just tell he's a dancer

-he meets Polly on the train to Hogwarts and is drawn to her immediately!! my friend em (@karl-jenkins) I believe came up with the headcanon that Yann and Sophia Barclay were childhood friends and I quite like that! So he and Sophia get on the train together but he sees Polly and sort of wanders off bc he /has/ to speak to her

-Polly’s super nervous and ends up snapping at him with some scathing comments and he sees straight through it and is just enraptured by her, she’s really glad that he ends up sticking around and they very quickly become best friends!!

-I mean aside from the fact that he’s basically in love with her from the get go, it’s early third year that he realises he’s definitely going to marry her, he’s got a lot of little engagement ring design sketches in his third year notebooks

-I can never quite decide, but I like the idea that they get together sometime in sixth year, but were basically dating all of fifth year anyway. I also like to think that they get together super early, like when they’re holding hands in cursed child at the end of fourth year! Either way, they’re best friends, in love, end up together in every universe and they’re soulmates <3

-they share clothes, Yann is very often found in Polly’s tops, skirts and dresses and her in his hoodies and track pants etc etc

-they paint their nails together and do a skincare night at least once a week with the whole gang (meaning with Karl and Craig)

-Yann is on the quidditch team as a Keeper, but not really bc he has any sort of passion for quidditch and more so bc he likes being part of a team and getting his body moving, he’d really much rather be dancing (his favourite movie is Billy Elliot!! closely followed by Luca now actually!)

-goes for a morning jog most days and drags Karl along with him!!

-massive conspiracy theorist but only in the way that he likes to make jokes about it, and only about creatures such as Big Foot, Moth Man and the Loch Ness Monster, he owns a lot of quirky merch including a crop top that reads ‘moth man is real and he is my boyfriend <3’, and he likes to tell people that his biological father is the Loch Ness monster and he acts like he’s very very serious and not even remotely joking about it

-that being said, he did once get into a massive debate with some younger kids bc they thought he was for real a flat earther and he thought it would be hilarious to play along with that (he was right, it was absolutely hysterical)

-he and Polly are the parents of the gang just bc they have such married couple/mum and dad energy

-super chill about his gender identity and is pretty much cool with whatever! He’s fine with male pronouns but is fine with she and they too, he’s just who he is, doesn’t think too much about it! Just likes to express himself however he feels! also incredibly bisexual

-denim jacket and doc marten bi and a major wife guy!! an all around great person and best friend you could ever ask for

-he and Polly get married a couple of years out of Hogwarts, and after training to be an auror and deciding it wasn’t for him after only a year or two, he continues with dance and begins teaching ballet to children while he figures out what else he wants to do

-becomes friends with Albus and Scorpius in fifth or sixth year and they’re very very close

Yann is super super real and detailed to me so this is just a little bit but yeah I thought I’d share <3 might add more another time!!

#yann fredericks #thats my name dont wear it out! #anyway i love yann #have loved yann for years now! #will probably love yann for years to come!! #none of this is as detailed as I'd like it to be but I'm very tired and that's life! #ccsquad #cursed child #yann and polly #anyway just thought I'd share #the gang #<- which is a term I invented btw!!!! very exciting to me that everyone seems to call them the gang now #used to just be little ol me yabbering away to myself on twitter and tumblr in 2017

[screamxqueenx94]

For Your Protection/ Unexpected- Mitch Rapp

A/N: It's been about a year and a half after the incident in Italy, after Mitch saved the world from complete destruction. It's in danger again with Russia wanting to attack the U.S. President and his family. Mitch is assigned to protect the President's daughter and executing the Russian assassin going after the President and his family, however Mitch may be in over his head with the First Daughter who will do anything for a night of partying to cope with a secret her family has been hiding for years.

Warnings: depictions of smoking

Pairings: Mitch Rapp x OC!Violet Monroe (eventually) 

POV: Third Person

.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.

Mitch was use to walking down this hallway. He did it at least once a week to get his new assignment whenever the old one was completed. His sneakers hitting the redwood floors towards Irene's office was a sound he knew all too well. He knocked on the big wooden doors leading into her office and waited to be welcomed in. He opened the door and seen both Hurley and Irene waiting for him. That was new, it was usually only Irene. This had to be a big deal if Hurley was there too.

"Take a seat, Mitch." Irene commanded, gesturing to the empty seat next to Hurley. 

He sits and waits for what's next. 

"We have learned that the Russian Prime Minister has planned an attack on the President and his family. The secret service has the President, his wife and son covered, but they need someone a little more...experienced, to protect his daughter." Irene informs him.

"And why is that?" Mitch asks, head leaning slightly to the side as he sat in a comfortable slouch, legs open in the padded arm chair facing her desk. 

"She doesn't sit still. Likes to run off and cause problems for the secret service agents and doesn't exactly do things that keep her father's reputation straight." She explained.

"Which is why I recommended you for the job, Rapp. Because you're just so good with people." Hurley added sarcastically, smirking at Mitch. 

"I'm guessing I can't say no, right?" Mitch asked, assuming correctly.

"No one would be more perfect for keeping her safe and under control than you, Mitch..." Irene insists "... She needs someone's who's tough and won't take shit, and that's you." She continues, pointing directly at him on the last word before sitting down in her big, black leather chair.

He sighs, pinches the bridge of his nose, then inhales sharply as he looks back at Irene. 

"What do I need to know about her?" He asks reluctantly.

She slides the file across the desk to him. "Violet Monroe. Age twenty-three. Youngest winner of Miss Teen U.S.A at the age of 13. Was Cheer Captain at Phillips Academy her senior year. Graduated from Stanford University top of her class with a Masters degree in Political Science. President of the Alpha Chi Omega sorority. She's the eldest of the Monroe children by seven years. Not only is she his only daughter, but she is her father's pride and joy." Irene informs him.

As she speaks, he's looking at her file and sees her photo, which looks like a social media profile picture, paperclipped to some pages. He's taken aback by how attractive she is, especially her crystal blue eyes. She had beautiful full lips, high, defined cheekbones, ivory skin that seemed damn near flawless. He had not seen a woman this beautiful in his eyes since Katrina…

Before he got too distracted, he closed the file and gave Irene his full attention. "Seems like she's her father's perfect angel. You sure you got the right person who does the partying?" 

"We're sure. She's just good at making herself seem otherwise." Irene insists.

"Don't let the pretty ones fool you, kid. You've certainly learned that by now." Hurley smirks at him again, making Mitch look his way. Irene looks at her watch, then to Mitch. "Get going, we have a car waiting for you to take you to the White House to get aquainted with the family before they send you and her off." 

Mitch pushes himself out of the chair by the armrests and heads towards door. As he reaches for the knob, Irene calls back to him, "Mitch…". He looks at her, waiting for her to speak again.

"Don't let her on social media either, she likes to tag her locations in her posts." She tells him.

He just nods and heads to the car outside waiting for him. 

.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.

When he arrives to the White House, he's stopped by a guard at the entrance gate. 

"Name?" The guard asks.

"Mitch Rapp." Mitch answers. 

"State your business." The guard commands.

"I'm the new Bodyguard for the First Daughter." He informs.

The guard makes a dry chuckle, shaking his head as he types on his small computer. He waits a moment and gets a notification and turns back his attention to Mitch. "Good luck, kid. You're gonna need it." 

He pushes a button, a buzzer goes off and the gate opens for Mitch. He drives through and follows the directions of where a second guard leads him to. He parks where all the other black SUVs and a limousine are and is met by two secret service agents. One is a tall man with a buzzcut and the other is blonde with a military style haircut. The agent with the buzzcut speaks into the small microphone on his watch. 

He listens to his earpiece, then both agents lead him into the White House towards the Oval Office. The blonde agent with a military style haircut opens the door and announces Mitch's arrival. He steps to the side and let's Mitch inside with the buzzcut agent right behind him. He could see Violet sitting on the couch with her back turned towards him until her and the rest of the family look towards him when his entrance is announced.

There on the couch, facing the door was the President, who had medium length gray hair, crystal blue eyes and a tan that looks like he's lived on the beach his whole life. Next to him was his wife, Amelia who was a thin woman with long brown hair, fair skin, full lips and big, brown eyes. On his other side was his son, who looked like his father, but with green eyes. A kind looking family with kind smiles. All of them making Mitch feel very underdressed in his old jeans and black shirt with the sleeves pushed up just above his elbow. President Monroe gets up from the couch he was sitting on and offers his hand out to Mitch for a handshake. 

"Mr. Rapp." He greets.

"Pleasure to meet you, Mr. President." Mitch greets back. 

"Please, call me Richard." He insists with a friendly smile. "I appreciate the service you've done for us, Mitch. You are a true hero." He praises, resting a hand on Mitch's shoulder. 

"Just doing my job, sir." 

President Monroe turns to look back at his family and secret service staff, smiling and exclaims "Look at that. A hero and humble. You don't see that everyday!" He turns back to Mitch and squeezes his shoulder. 

"Mitch, let me introduce you to my beautiful family." He puts his arm over Mitch's shoulders and guides him towards where his family was standing and directs him towards the couch he was sitting on before Mitch arrived.

"This is my lovely wife, Amelia." He introduces. Mitch shakes her hand and she smiles kindly at him.

"My talented son, Elliot." Elliot stands and shakes Mitch's hand with his other hand in the pocket of his khakis.

He then turns Mitch towards the other couch, facing Violet. "And my gorgeous daughter, Violet." 

She stands up, she's much shorter than Mitch would've expected. She comes up to his chin with her heels on. Her photo in her file didn't do her justice. In his mind, she was even more beautiful in person. Her blue eyes looking even brighter, her skin looking softer than silk. Her curled, long light blonde hair shaping her face perfectly. 

She put out her hand with perfectly manicured candy red nails out to shake his with a sickenly sweet smile on her face. He shook her hand and half smiled at her. 

"Well, I won't take up any more of your time Mr. Rapp." Richard spoke up, clamping his hands together, making both Mitch and Violet look his way. 

"Amelia, Elliot, we must get going to Atlanta. Violet, we will meet you in New York once things blow over." He continues. 

Violet just nods. The secret service agents lead Mitch and Violet out of the white house with some of her Louis Vuitton luggage in hand and help Mitch load them into the trunk next to his old duffle bag that he takes on every trip. The agents leave, but not before telling him good luck and both snickering. Mitch rolls his eyes and opens the passenger door for her. She smiles at him, then hops in gracefully as she holds her nude shoulder bag close to her body. He closes the door and rushes over to the driver side. 

He starts up the car and leaves the White House property. Once they're a good distance from the White House, she finally speaks up. "Are we out of view of the White House now?" 

He checks his rear view mirror, then answers without looking directly at her, still facing forward. "Yes ma'am." 

She lets out a sigh of relief and takes off her lace front wig, surprising Mitch with a head of long, mint green hair and making him do a double take. She kicks off her nude four inch heels and takes off the jacket of her black and gray tweed skirt suit, unties the bow on the collar of her blouse and unfastens the first few buttons, exposing a bit of her chest tattoo. She pulls the hairtie out of her hair and runs her fingers through her hair a few times then rolls down her window and flips open the flap on her purse and pulls out a pack of American Spirit cigarettes and a gold Zippo lighter.

She puts a cigerette to her lips and lights it. She takes a long drag and leans her head back as she blows it out, flicking the ashes out the window. He just looks at her with a raised eyebrow. She looks back at him, not understanding why he's even staring. 

"What?" She asks with a shrug. 

He quickly turns his attention back to the road and just shakes his head.

"Just didn't expect that is all." He answered.

.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.

@mrs-mitch-rapp93 @coconutstars @javalavax @lavenderrosegoddess @hufflepuff-foodie @okaybestfriend @bxchanansbarnes @life-is-obrien @daisyxbuckley @porg-damneron @ohhhhmybrien @stiles-o-dylan24 @maliatatevevo @confuscita @blueraindrops

#mitch rapp x oc #mitch rapp fanfiction #mitch rapp #dylan o'brien #american assassin #american assasin fanfiction

[charmingly-evil]

The Intervention - Bensler Fanfic 

Summary

Seeing their clear feelings for each other and frustrated at their inability to act, Kathleen stages an intervention with Eli and her siblings to bring Elliot and Olivia together. It starts with a date, and ends with a family. Bensler. Can find the link here 

...

They talk to each other as if no one else is in the room.

This is the thought that passes Kathleen’s mind as she watches Elliot and Olivia from the kitchen. She and the rest of her family are over at Olivia’s apartment for dinner, something that has been occurring more regularly since Finn’s wedding.

It started when Elliot dropped by one afternoon to discuss work and (according to Eli), didn’t come home until late that night. Then he was away the next evening. Apparently, Olivia’s washing machine had broken and despite her protests, Elliot insisted on fixing it.  Between ordering and waiting for new parts to arrive and taking lengthy breaks playing with Noah and catching up with his former partner, it took Elliot two weeks to repair the washing machine.

By then, Eli began dropping by, first to check in on his father, and then to play with Noah – catch, chess and cricket - not the first person in the Stabler family to adore Olivia’s son. Soon, it became tradition for Olivia to have Elliot and Eli over every Saturday evening for dinner. Eli was guarded towards Olivia at first, the woman who seemed to have this unique ability to ease his father’s tempers and draw out his deepest thoughts and feelings. Then Noah won over his heart, and he began to warm to Olivia, appreciating the tender care she showed towards him and his dad, treating them as if they were family. His care for her grew as his father told him about how Olivia saved his life and his mother’s, the day he was born.

Tonight, Olivia had invited Kathleen over for dinner, encouraging her to bring her siblings too.

Now, Kathleen is supposed to be decorating the last few touches on a cake she made, but instead she’s watching Olivia and Elliot who are sitting on the couch together, so close that their thighs are almost touching. Olivia’s holding a glass of wine in one hand, her other hand lightly touching his arm. She’s laughing at something he said. Kathleen watches the way he stares at her, as if he’s lost in her eyes. Kathleen sees the way his cheeks lift into a rare smile when she speaks, warming his entire features.

It's like they’re the only two planets in the solar system, orbiting each other’s space.

Kathleen whirls her head around her, seeing her siblings just feet away from the couple, playing with Noah. Can no one else see this?        

Kathleen brings the cake, plates and forks over and places it on the coffee table in front of Oliva and Elliot. The clang of the tray hitting the table alerts her siblings’ attention, however

Elliot and Olivia still seemed to be wrapped up in their own conversation.

Kathleen interrupts. “Dessert’s ready. It’s a butterscotch layered cake.”

Olivia lifts her head up, her eyes widening with delight at the fluffy layers dripping with caramel sauce. “It looks delicious Kathleen, thank you for making this.”  

Kathleen smiles and begins dishing out the plates as her siblings and Noah come over, taking their place around the coffee table. “It’s soothing. It’s helped to invest in these hobbies, you know? Since mom died.” Kathleen turns to Elliot and says, “Dad, I tried to open the champagne you brought over but couldn’t find the bottle opener.”

“You shouldn’t need the bottle opener. I’ll grab it.”

Kathleen waits for Elliot to leave before taking her place next to Olivia. “Thanks for having us over Liv.”

Olivia smiles as she reaches for a plate, seeing Noah’s eager eyes already devouring the cake, almost impatient for a piece. “Of course. We should have done this sooner. I’ve just been swamped with work…” Olivia cuts and hands Noah his slice of cake with a plastic fork, gently warning him, “Don’t eat it all at once, remember what happened at Lachlan’s birthday party.”  

“So has Dad, busy at work I mean,” Kathleen continues. She glances at her father, who is holding the bottle with one hand and searching for new glasses with other. She almost rolls her eyes. It’s a crime in his house to pour new wine into tainted glasses, just another habit he picked up from Italy. “I wanted to say that things have improved. Dad’s been seeing someone, a trauma psychologist. Eli says he’s not coming home late at night anymore and is eating and sleeping. He even calls me on his breaks every now and again to check in.”

Olivia’s smiles and she gently squeeze Kathleen’s arm affectionately. “I’m glad. He told me he was seeing someone and making progress.”

“I notice he’s been a lot happier these past few weeks too, since he’s been seeing you.”

Olivia raises her eyes, taken back. Kathleen leans forward and continues. “You’re good for him Liv. Just…things he can’t share with us, he shares with you.”

“You know I’ll always be there to support your father.”

“I know. It’s not just that…” Kathleen pauses, unsure of how to say it. “I see the way he looks at you…that day after the intervention, when he told you he loves you,” Kathleen doesn’t miss the sharp intake of breath Olivia takes. “I asked him about it. He refused to talk about anything from that night. Eli thought it might have been a mistake, a comment he was directing to all of us. But I know he only meant it for you. He’ll never admit it though.”

Olivia swallows, feeling the weight of what she’s saying. She sees the urgency in her eyes. Olivia takes a steady breath. “Kathleen, Elliot and I care about each other a lot. But that night, he was under a lot of pressure…and I honestly think that pursuing any sort of relationship is the last thing on his mind.”

Kathleen shakes her head. “He meant it Liv. He’s just too scared to say anything. Look, I’m not saying you need to do anything about it,” Kathleen pauses, glancing at Elliot once more, who is pouring champagne into two glasses. “You deserve to be happy. You both do. And I know if mom could talk, she would say the same thing too.”

Olivia’s eyes bloom with surprise, sure she misheard her.

Kathleen reads her surprise look and squeezes her friend’s hand. “I just don’t want you to think that anything is standing in the way. Not from me, or anyone in this family.”

Then Kathleen goes to settle in-between her brothers, absorbing herself in their conversations, just as Elliot returns.

Elliot hands her a glass of wine as he settles on the couch, his eyes shifting between Olivia and Kathleen. “That looked like a serious conversation.”

Olivia blinks once, then twice, recomposing herself. She passes him a small smile. “Oh, it was nothing. She was just telling me about her holiday plans.” Olivia lifts her glass up to her nose and breathes in the fruity aroma. She takes a sip and closes her eyes, letting out a blissful hum when she feels the smooth liquid run down her throat. “Borolo. Another favourite from Italy?”

“Yep. And judging from your smile, one of yours too?”

Olivia pinches her lips together and shrugs, a hint of a sparkle in her eye. “It’s growing on me since you started coming over.”

Elliot breathes out a laugh. “I’m not surprised. I checked your cupboard; you’re still drinking ten-dollar wine.”

Olivia scrunches her nose and casts him an irritated look. “Hey, just because I’m not a wine snob.”

Elliot raises his hands defensively. “It’s hard to go back to drinking American wine when you lived an hour away from one of the best wineries in Rome.” Elliot pauses to take a sip, reminiscing. Then he turns to Olivia and says, “You would have loved the wine tasting their Liv.”

Olivia sees a spark in his eye as he starts to talk about Italy, lifting her heart. A distant memory drifts into her mind when Elliot last tried to talk about Italy, “You would have loved Rome Liv…” before she cut him off.

Tonight, Olivia leans in closer and says, “Tell me about it.”  

Olivia nods and smiles as he talks, in awe at the beauty of Italy that he’s painting for her. But another part of her mind is replaying the conversation she had with Kathleen and her recent moments with Elliot. I see the way he looks at you…

It’s ludicrous, stupid for her to think that anything could ever happen. She shouldn’t want anything to happen. It took her years to get over Elliot and the heart crushing pain he brought her. Anyway, what they have right now is good, perfect. He’s back in her life, more settled than before. Olivia feels like she has a family. She doesn’t want to gamble that away.

Yet Olivia can’t help but wonder what would happen if she took a chance and risked it. Once again, she replays Kathleen’s words.

I just don’t want you to think that anything is standing in the way. Not from me, or anyone in this family…

…

“Did you see the way they were looking at each other?”

Eli rolls his eyes at his sister. They’re back at his father’s apartment and Elliot insisted that it’s too late for her to drive home, and she spend the night at their guest room. She’s sitting at the end of Eli’s bed as he rummages through his closet, searching for his pyjamas.

“Not this again Kathleen. Did you spend the whole night watching them?”

Kathleen wants to chuck one of his dirty socks at her brother. “Doesn’t this frustrate anyone else? They have feelings for each other but are too scared to act. And even you admitted that Dad’s been better, happier since he’s been seeing Liv more.”

“So what?” Eli asks as he bundles his pyjamas together, turning to face his sister. “Yeah, they might like each other. And I’m glad she’s helped him through his grief. But why do you care so much?”

Kathleen casts him a harden look. “You’re going to college in a couple of years. Aren’t you worried about how Dad might cope without you?”

Eli pauses, he hasn’t considered this before.

Sensing him thinking, Kathleen quickly continues. “I’m not at home anymore, neither is Dickie. When mom was here, it might have been okay, Dad wouldn’t be alone. But when you leave, he won’t have anyone. Aren’t you worried about how he’ll cope?”

Eli’s face darkens as he recalls all the evenings his dad would spend at work, overworking himself to forget about his grief and pain, focused only on finding his mother’s killer. He remembers his exhaustion, irritability, sudden anger outbursts and the long periods he would go without sleep or food. Then he remembers the car crash.

Eli winces at the memories. “Okay, I get your point. But Dad won’t be alone, he knows he can call me, us. He doesn’t need another woman just because mom’s not around anymore.

Kathleen studies her brother for a moment and can see his deep fury. Suddenly, she realises just how hard this must be for him, to see Olivia stepping into their father’s life and possibly taking her mother’s place. He doesn’t know Olivia like they do, he just sees her as another woman.

“It’s not just about Dad finding any partner,” Kathleen says softly, grabbing his attention. She tries to gather the thoughts in her head and sighs softly. “Olivia’s not just his partner, but his best friend. We all considered her to be family. You know she was there with mom during the car crash, the day you were born? She saved her life.”

Eli’s face darkens once more. “Yeah, dad told me.”

“And there were times when mom couldn’t get through to dad, when he was working too late, too caught up in his work…It was Liv she encouraged him to speak to, and Liv who reminded him to come home.”

Eli shakes his head, his frustration growing. “Doesn’t it bother you that dad could be moving on with someone else so soon?”

Kathleen nods slowly, understanding him. “It would if it was anyone else. But this is Liv, and she makes him happy, whole. I think they could both make each other really happy, and I know mom would want that too.”

Eli gives his sister a hard look before sighing. His anger slowly diminishes as he exhales, understanding settling within him. “Didn’t dad leave Olivia though and ignore her since we left New York?”

Kathleen hears his point. “You’re right, and I don’t think they’ve spoken about that yet, properly talked about it…” She lowers her eyes, thinking. “But they like each other, they just need a gentle nudge and the reassurance from us that we wouldn’t discourage their relationship. I’m not saying we do anything extreme,” she quickly adds, seeing the panic in his eyes. “I just know if we can just get them into the same room together to talk things through….”

Eli doesn’t look convinced. “Have you spoken to Maureen about this?”

Kathleen shrugs. “I know I can get her on board. Dickie too. They just want Dad to be happy.” She pauses, looking thoughtful, then casts her brother an eye glinting smile. “So, did you want to hear my plan?”

#bensler #svu #charmingly-evil writes fanfiction #olivia benson #elliot stabler #elliot stabler & olivia benson

[roxy206]

Caution - unhinged live tweet ahead

Also lowkey I might add in some commentary for context because... yeah

I would like you to know that I do not apologize for the hot mess that will be my live tweeting tonight (but like this is your first warning feel free to mute me for the night 😂🤡)

With the amount of things she's already posted today I feel like M has her Twitter drafts locked & loaded for tonight

Good luck have fun #SVUxOC #elliotlovesolivia

Chris dude TIMING

[these assholes have been posting on social media all day & Chris posted the SVU promo like 30 seconds before the episode]

Okay I wasn't prepared to be emotional over SVU tonight - tonight is going to be A LOT

Oh boy

I am too overwhelmed for the Insta posts rn help

[Mariska... 😂 She posted this. Please read the caption 😂]

God I love this fandom

IS SHE STRAIGHT UP STALKING TWEETS?!

👀👀👀

Y'all if this is what we're getting just what has Chris been getting today 😂

Oh baby girl...

It's a good thing #elliotlovesolivia

// promo break for the next crossover event - featuring Elliot saying "standing right here, Captain" to Liv which is SO FUCKING SEXY PLEASE //

#OrganizedCrime LFGgggggggg #elliotlovesolivia

El... #elliotlovesolivia #OrganizedCrime

El. Babe.

SLOOT

She's liking tweets about liking tweets...

[Elliot punched a wall]

Oh. Damn. Oh damn

Alright well obviously Eli is going to tell the siblings about THAT

God Liv is going to be in like the entire second half of the episode isn't she ISN'T SHE #elliotlovesolivia

@ M if you're creeping & see this ILY 😘

IT'S HAPPENINGGGGGGGGG

Stop it stop it omg THEY NEED LIV

Also lowkey after this intervention I'm going to need the Stabler kids to work with Fin on this parent trap situation #elliotlovesolivia

Everybody remember to breathe #elliotlovesolivia

Nope nope I'm going to need the rest of the episode to be the Stabler's & Liv

Okay okay okay okayyyyyyy

HELP

Stopppp

Ddgkhddcvnmmvzsfghjbxsdhjvf

HOKU FUCJ

WHATTHEFICK

I am not

OHMYGOD #ELLIOTLOVESOLIVIA

THAT SILENCE WAS SO LONG #ELLIOTLOVESOLIVIA

ELLIOT STABLER LOVES OLIVIA BENSON

ELLIOT STABLER QUITE LITERALLY JUST CONFESSED HIS LOVE TO OLIVIA BENSON

Omgimgomg

EXCUSE ME WHY IS NO ONE GOING AFTER HIM

Oh no

ELLIOT NO

Elliot fucking Stabler you just told Liv you love her do not make this bad decision

Okay listen I can deal with him needing to *talk* to someone who doesn't know him so intimately

Elliot. El.

[angsty Elliot working out]

Oh okay hi

HE CALLED HER OMG

Ohmygidohmygod

OMG

Shit. She. Oof.

Welp.

// the post-ep spiral //

My god

Okay but I feel like it's all hitting me now & I'm going to cry

[the "standing right here, Captain" part of that promo again 🔥]

+++

And in conclusion... Holy fucking shit. We've had Liv telling El that he was the single most important person in her life. And then El is just out here confessing literally all of his feelings! Telling her that he couldn't hear her voice or he wouldn't have been able to leave. Writing her a letter?! Telling her that she means the world to him. And now TELLING HER THAT HE LOVES HER! (also like the whole "you would have loved it" comment about the view from his apartment in Italy aka the man thought about her while he was gone - & that somehow is on the low end of these confessions!)

#ELLIOT LOVES OLIVIA #ELLIOT TOLD OLIVIA TO HER FACE THAT HE LOVES HER #THIS MAN WORD VOMITED HIS FEELINGS IN FRONT OF OLIVIA HIS FAMILY AND GOD #svu spoilers #oc spoilers

[rahleeyah]

Ok ok ok so IF - and that’s a big IF- we are assuming that Elliot and fam left the US for Europe soon after the Jenna incident, wouldn’t the rest of Elliots children be more upset with the fact that their parents just up and left with their brother for at least 9 years?!

I think about the implications moving across the world might have and like…

🤔

All the things they might have missed (weddings, birthdays, kids, etc.), the other kids not REALLY knowing Eli, not being able to see their parents except for maybe once a year? Like flying to Europe is not cheap- esp when living in New York.

AND if we really want to go there, Elliot moved them to Europe and essentially robbed them of the last years with their mother. Although I know if they never would have left, Kathy most likely would not have suffered the same fate. But that’s neither here nor there.

I know we haven’t seen a lot of the back story of the stabler family especially the four older kids, but I have to be honest, I would love to see the older kids POV in this and then calling Elliot out on that finally. And then totally taking Olivias side and being apologetic when they see that Elliot (and even them themselves-hence the apologies) have only really called Olivia when THEY have needed something.

Thoughts? And as always when I pose my thoughts to you, I will never write this or attempt to although I would love to see it. So if you ever feel inspired, this idea is yours 🙂🙂

Ok but you're so right though. Elliot "went walkabout" and then did private security overseas and then got the gig in Rome. I feel like. A lot of that work I feel like was him leaving the family to go do private contracting gigs. Him sending a paycheck back home to Kathy. The older kids are in college/out on their own so they don't miss him as much - they were already only seeing him occasionally, on holidays/birthdays or whenever they went home, and maybe he arranged it so he was there for those events, and really they don't have a phone call every day kinda relationship so they don't notice that he's gone. Kathy does, tho. It's easier to raise one kid on her own than it was juggling four, and yeah maybe she spoils Eli a little more than she did the older kids. And maybe they resent the hell out of it, mom and dad and their new perfect baby, or maybe they don't bc they're doing their own thing now. Iirc Elliot said the liaison post opened up four years before rotps; were they living in Rome, then, or did the opportunity come up while he was there? And it's a change of scenery and it gives him and Kathy a chance to live in the same place so he accepts it and yeah I bet the grown kids did resent that but also. It seems like the kinda position that comes with $$$ I bet he's paying their airfare to come to Italy at least once a year. And then he and Kathy go back to NY at least once a year and that's not enough and things are tense.

I like to think he took jobs that took him away from home bc he was running. Running like hell from himself, his guilt, from the choices he'd made, afraid if he sat still too long it'd all catch up with him. But he learns; no matter where he goes he carries himself and his memories there. He cannot escape them. He tries to rebuild. It works, for a time. So far removed from home and all that it entails, he and Kathy are on one long extended vacation. Pretending.

And the older kids know. They see the tight way their mother smiles and how Eli clings to her and how quiet their father is. They know he's running but they don't know from what and sometimes it feels like he's running from them. And they love him, they do, but they're older now and they see him for what he is. Or as much as they can.

Oh a Stabler child pov would be so good

#anonymous

[mulderscully]

Love is real and the bonds we form are even more meaningful due to the element of chance. If i hadnt sat at that particular table during that particular welcome event i would not have met my (year and a half of dating) beloved partner. Proximity, convenience, chance, dumb luck.... whatever that anon want to call it, i consider it a good thing. Sure i “only became friends with him” because i sat at a certain table, but that doesnt mean us clicking was meaningless- after all, he wasnt the only one at that table. The same goes for any other friendship / relationship, even online ones. We encounter dozens of people each week, and just because they are nearbye, or in the same fandom circle or gaming community, it doesnt mean youll bond with them all. It still takes something special and unique to the two of you, that special element of love that only gets to blossom because of a coincidence placing you in their path. Thats my two , very un-asked-for, cents. I meant to come on and ask what your thoughts were on SVU but it appears i was distracted. Cheers!

yes ♥️ i actually love how much of life and love is based on chance and proximity etc but that anon just wants attention so i didn't wanna give a real reply lol

honestly my brain has been absolutely stuck on elliot and olivia since last week in a way that i had not anticipated but i should have since they were my first ship ever. i guess i hadn't antipacted the episode actually meeting a lot of my expectations so i was really pleasantly suprised.

i've been thinking about elliot wondering about noah and probably thinking liv just had a kid with someone and he had no idea!! and how that is probably driving him a little bit insane but he knows he doesn't have the right to ask about it. which is so horribly depressing since he always supported liv's hope for motherhood even when she got turned down for adoption before or when she doubted being able to be a good mom. so it's kinda fun to imagine ways liv will eventually tell him how she adopted noah and everything that happened along the way. i also like to imagine him coming over and seeing pics of him growing up and realizing how much time passed and how it was his own fault and feeling so much regret 😩 that sweet angst!

(& just the idea of elliot thinking abt how liv would have loved his place in italy and how liv speaks fluent italian, like of all place for him to live it had to be somewhere he would still think of her?? how time and distance changed nothing for them)

i also am still really hopeful that once he has mourned kathy enough he and liv can finally have a full argument abt when he left and liv can release all her pent up anger (which is really just hurt) at him because i really want that.

i do have my eo clown shoes on...

too many thoughts to even fully go into tbh...

#reply #svu / #madam melon meow

[ecofinisher]

The Adventures of Super Nathan 4 - Chap 2

Chapter 2

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29003949/chapters/71391201

https://www.wattpad.com/1018609843-the-adventures-of-super-nathan-4-chapter-2

The class was now in the break playing with each other in small groups. Most of the parents stood together with other parents watching their children play and chatted along with each other.

Nathaniel hung out with Luka, Ivan, Kagami, Rose, and Jin on the stairs observing their offspring play tag with another. Ivan held out his smartphone in his hands to watch the kids thought it and took a few snapshots of them running and showed it to Nathaniel, which nodded.

„Who would have thought one day we would sit together years after we finish school and watch our own offsprings play with each other?“ Luka asked looking at the friend group, which nodded at Luka‘s comment.

„I wasn‘t for myself expecting it so early, but I gotta admit it gives me such a great feeling to see Elliot run there along with the others,“ Kagami stated watching Elliot crash against Rouven, which was laughing afterward Rouven began to haunt the blonde laughing along with him, making Kagami smile enchanted. „Adrien blessing me with this cute, little boy was the best thing he could have done,“ Kagami mentioned earning a nod from Ivan.

„Did you really have to give up your education to be able to be around Elliot?“ Ivan questioned looking at the Japanese woman, which shake her head.

„No, I was able to repeat the next semester on the other year. I just didn‘t want to be less present in Elliot‘s life as I would be along with Adrien gone at the uni. I left the university to be at home with him, later on, Gabriel opened for me a 70% workload to be working at the office along with him and Emilie,“

„At least it‘s something good,“ Ivan commented.

„How‘s is every one of you doing?“ Kagami questioned. „So far I only know about Lila and Nathaniel. What are you doing Rose?“

„I opened the hair salon along with Juleka, Jean, Aurore, and Marc,“ Rose mentioned. „We cut everyone‘s hair and Jean and Juleka also know how to barber. Every man can get for 7 bucks a new hair cut. Depending on what else we do it gets another price,“ Rose explained.

„What would Nath pay for his haircut?“ Luka asked placing his hand behind Nathaniel‘s head watching Nathaniel grab Luka‘s hand to pull it down.

„Hey, I like my hair the way it is,“ Complained the redhead making Luka snicker.

„Sure you do, babyface,“ Luka joked.

„Says the one who has the face shaved,“ Nathaniel countered making Luka grin.

„You know I just shave my face out of hygienic reasons, right?“ Luka commented making Ivan chuckle at their argument.

„Are you two really going to talk about shaving right now?“ Questioned the tall man.

„Don‘t worry Ivan, if Lila was here the conversation would have turned awkward in the next five seconds,“ Kagami mentioned making Ivan chuckle.

„She really would,“ Luka agreed making Nathaniel frown.

„Hey you two are talking about my wife,“ Nathaniel commented watching Luka slap his friend on the back.

„Don‘t worry, we‘re not meaning to offend,“ Luka assured, then his phone began to ring and he got up to attend the call and walk towards the exit.

„Do you still work in the retirement home, Nathaniel‘s dad is living?“ Rose questioned earning a nod from the raven-haired man.

„Yeah. I don‘t feel like anything has changed at all except for Cody growing up,“ Ivan mentioned.

„This year was tough for me and Nathalie. We were all on our own and we only managed to visit my mom every second week. Lila was the entire time out in Italy during the recording of the series. Lila‘s luck now was, that the role she got as a protagonist will mainly play in Paris and just the first season takes place in Italy. Soon she will be here and we‘ll be able to see her more often,“

„Wish I could see her today, but we‘re going to have dinner with my parents and we won‘t be able to come,“ Rose mentioned earning a nod from the redhead.

„It‘s okay you can visit us any other day,“ Nathaniel added making the blonde nod.

„I may bring her one of the coupons my frequent guests usually receive at Christmas. In case she wants to color her hair back,“

„I think she likes having black hair so far,“ Nathaniel mentioned. „But it‘s not a bad idea either,“

„Good,“ Rose agreed, then watched Nathaniel take out his smartphone as he heard it receiving a message and he opened it to see it was sent by Ivan, that showed his son along with Luka‘s running. Nathaniel gave a thumb up, then opened his gallery to send the previous picture he took during class to the chat Ivan was in along with 14 other students from his class. Ivan replied with a thumb up followed by Marinette beginning to type down a message.

„Aww my little Prince,“ Marinette commented with several hearts beside it.

Mrs. Donner passed across the court of the elementary school with a plateau with middle-sized and small cups of coffee and stopped by the adults on the stair to offer them a drink.

„Is anyone interested in a coffee or an espresso?“ Questioned the teacher earning a nod from all students, except for Nathaniel and the teacher bowed down at the adults so each of them could take a drink.

„Ivan remember the first time my friend Paulo offered Adrien a cigarette to smoke?“ Luka questioned earning a nod from the tall man.

„Oh yes I do,“ Ivan responded with a laughter. „Why did he want to do that again?“

„He said something about it would make him more manly,“ Luka mentioned. „Really?“ Nathaniel asked. „I would have never done that,“

„I understand you,“

„Hey what‘s the next lesson in the schedule?“ Ivan questioned. „Was it Math?“ The raven-haired man asked earning a nod from the teacher.

„Yes, it is. Don‘t worry. It‘s very simple for them,“ Mrs. Donner said watching Luka elbow Nathaniel on his arm.

„You‘ll be able to tell Nathalie the difference between a plus and a minus, right?“ Luka joked making Nathaniel frown.

„Are you kidding me?“ Questioned Nathaniel making Luka chuckle. „Of course I do,“

„That‘s great, but you don‘t need to worry about if anything isn‘t understandable for you to explain to your daughter when needed. The school is here to help her out, when she needs it,“ Mrs. Donner explained earning a nod from Nathaniel.

„Your group seems quite close I have noticed. Were you in the same class before?“ Questioned the woman earning a nod from Luka.

„Well I was a class ahead of them, but I knew Nathaniel and Ivan from the elementary school. Rose was my sister‘s childhood friend and they‘re together now and I‘m married to Marinette, who attended the same class as Nathaniel and Ivan,“

„Okay and I think I‘ve seen you in some magazines along with the former teeny model Adrien Agreste, right?“ Questioned the teacher earning a nod from the blue-haired woman. „I remember starting university and see your first image with him,“

„Oh yes….I think it was with our sponsors for the fencing tournament or a paparazzi shoot,“ Kagami mentioned. „I‘m not really fond of photoshoots so I‘m sort of lost in the ones I attended with him,“

„It‘s no issue. I will move further to the next parents. See you all in the classroom again,“

„Is anyone of you going to eat at home?“ Ivan questioned. „I‘m not sure if I can make it to cook something quick for Cody only,“

„My mom offered me to pass by her house for lunch with Rouven. If you want I can ask her if she could make space for you two,“ Luka offered. „Nathaniel, you‘re also interested?“ Questioned the raven-haired man his short friend.

„I was planning in stopping at the restaurant down the Louvre, but if you don‘t mind it, I could go with you,“ Responded the redhead.

„Great, I will just make the call,“ Luka stated getting up from the stairs to search his mother‘s phone number to call her.

„Has Adrien actually have a plan B, if he fails again at the exam?“ The blonde woman asked watching Kagami take a sip of her espresso.

„I didn‘t ask him anything about it, cause I don‘t want him to feel negative about it or that I think negatively about his performance later on the exams. I think after we know the results we can see later. Maybe he‘ll get luckier this time and we won‘t need a plan b,“

„Wee, when he passes this means he will once more be distant from all of you again. How are you able to deal with that?“ Questioned Rose.

„Well, we may get used to that. If there‘s something changing between all of us I ask Adrien if we can find out a solution to this. We will wait first,“

„Don‘t let Adrien miss all the memorable moments he can experience with Elliot throughout his life. How many men or even women miss the most important parts of their kids' life, just because they're hoping to provide them a better life?“

„Oh Rose don't‘ worry. I and Adrien are both in this. We promised each other to help each other out,“

„That is good. These coming years are going to be the best ones you‘ll have with him. Believe me,“ Rose spoke earning a nod from the blue-haired woman watching the playing kids.

Adrien sat in the bedroom in front of his desk gazing into the book he was using to study. Plagg, his kwami sat on top of a shelf over the desk, which contained various named files watching the blonde learn for the exam.

„Why didn‘t you go together with Elliot and Kagami to the first school day?“ Plagg questioned. „You would be only the morning there,“

„I need to focus on Friday, Plagg,“ Warned the blonde.

„I know you do, but you could have been present there like Kagami or at least for an hour or two,“

„I could, but I couldn‘t. I will make it up for him tonight anyway by watching that movie with him they didn‘t finish yesterday,“ Adrien mentioned picking up the smartphone, which lied at the edge of his table counting the amount of minutes he‘s been studying, which were at 135. „I‘m not sure when exactly we will watch it thought. I would prefer in the afternoon rather than after dinner,“

„Wouldn‘t you want it after dinner?“ Questioned Plagg. „You know so that he can straight off go to bed or get ready for it?“

„I don‘t know…..Well it could come the case that he has homework to do and I believe it‘s better for him to do them right after school. Or he should do it the way he feels is better for him. I used to hear from Kim or Ivan, that they had the need to do something after school before working on the homework first,“

„Eating first always is a good option,“ Commented the black kitten earning a nod from Adrien, which looked back at his smartphone as he heard it vibrate then pressed on the home button to lighten up the display and see a message from his wife, then he sighed.

„Oh damn it, the surprise party,“ Adrien commented leaning back on the seat picking up his phone to unlock it.

„Morning Adri. I forgot yesterday about the surprise party we were participating in going to. If you prefer to stay back to study, stay. I‘ll be going there to at least see Lila again. See you later,“

„I promised her to go a long while ago. I‘m not going to skip it,“

„What about the movie?“ Questioned the kwami.

„We‘ll see that later. I‘ll wait until they‘re back,“ Adrien stated beginning to text a message to Kagami. „I prefer to solve it with her, rather than randomly agreeing or disagreeing on it,“

„Sounds quite better than the last few times,“

„That‘s why I chose this way. I‘m lately being so absent that soon or later I will end up being like my dad or worse“

„What your dad was in the past was worse. You‘re just something else…..something that comes before bad,“

„There‘s nothing before bad. I‘m either bad or worse,“

„Okay I know something else. You‘re not perfect and that‘s normal. You‘ll never be perfect, you will just learn how to deal with it. This is a good start, you prefer to discuss with Kagami the issue about Elliot and Lila‘s surprise party you agreed on going months ago. Just talk you two about it and it will get solved in a way or another. Which way you‘ll both agree on remains unknown for now,“

„Sure, I‘ll do it, don‘t worry. Here I need to focus now on the learning,“ Mentioned the blonde shoving the smartphone back to the end of the table, followed by the kwami to sit down on its cover with a piece of cheese on his hands to observe the holder continue his practice for the exam.

#ecofinisher #ecofinisherfanfics #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 #archive of our own #wattpad #updated #ficupdate #fanficupdate #lukanette #luka couffaine #nathaniel kurtzberg #nathanaelkurtzberg #lilarossi #tomatofox #roselavillant #ivanbruel #Kagami Tsurugi #adrien agreste #adrigami

[queermediastudies]

Call Me By Your Name: A new attempt for queer movies

Call me by your name is a queer film directed by Luca Guadagnino, starring Timothy Chalamet, Amy Hammer, and Michael Stuba, in January 2017 It was screened at the Sundance Film Festival in the United States on the 22nd. The film is adapted from the novel of the same name by Andre Acimon, and tells the story of a 24-year-old American doctoral student Oliver who met 17-year-old Elio in Italy, and the two developed an ambiguous relationship. In November 2017, the film won the Best Picture of the 27th Gotham Independent Film Awards; on November 29 of the same year, it was selected as the top ten films of 2017 by the British "Empire" magazine; in December of the same year, it was awarded the 2017 Tenth Film Institute Best video. On February 12, 2018, the film won the American Screenwriter Guild Award for Best Screenplay in the category of film; on March 5 of the same year, it won the 90th Academy Awards for Best Adapted Screenplay. The story takes place on the Italian Riviera in the 1980s. The sudden love is like a wild beast running out of the forest, grabbing the body and mind of 17-year-old Elio. He fell in love with Oliver, an American doctoral student who was 6 years older than him and came to Italy to travel. The two were fascinated, hesitant, and tempted towards each other, allowing their passions to burst out, and they achieved a first love that lasted only six weeks. This beautiful summer love left an indelible mark on the hearts of the two. The performance that really stood out in the film came from 21-year-old Chalamet. He played Elio has many "firsts" in the film. He doesn't have too many lines, but Chalamé uses his own facial and body language to transform this character into a character that everyone can understand at a glance. people. The last few minutes of the film without a line of dialogue is a rare close-up shot of Elio in the film. This shot is very attractive. The chemical reaction between the men is obvious, but more importantly, the two actors can convey the complex feelings, expectations, and ideas between the characters without opening their mouths. This movie is one of my favorite movies all the time. After learning some queer theory and LGBTQ knowledge, I think I can analyze and deconstruct this movie from a more professional perspective.

After watching this movie, the first thing I thought of was the intersection of culture and queer issues. Sexuality does not exist alone. It is integrated with society, culture, religion, education, etc. It involves different content of knowledge and social factors. Intersectionality helps us understand the diversity and complexity of identities, and allows us to examine issues more comprehensively. Just like Ahmed mentioned in 2006: "After all, both queer studies and phenomenology involve diverse intellectual and political histories" (p.5). Although the whole film does not describe how homosexuals are discriminated against, Struggling with one's own sexual orientation, there is no race, and the shackles and constraints of the social system need to be broken, but the cultural background that the director vaguely expresses through the lens language is differently ignored. One of the most direct is that Oliver wears a six-pointed star pendant around his neck: a symbol of Jews. Here, the freedom from the United States collides with the conservativeness of Italy. As we have shown, the queer problem is impossible to put aside everything that exists independently, even without political and social factors. In addition, the film also incorporates the question of queer into the discussion of the family framework. In the film, Elio has a pair of enlightened parents. The mother's understanding and father's enlightenment made this ignorant and beautiful relationship not a shadow in Elio's heart, but a treasure in his life. I like his father’s words at the end of the film the most: "How you live your life is your business, Just remember our hearts and our bodies are given to us only once." Elliot is happy, and his mother knows what he wants, What he likes, his father knows his inner struggle and suffering, and he lives in an open family. In the previous class, I remembered that in the video Mia showed us, it was mentioned that many queer groups lived carefully in the last century and did not dare to let friends or family members know their "secrets". From this point, we can compare the importance of family in the queer problem, which is an issue about understanding and tolerance.

Another point I want to focus on is not the content of the movie itself, but the market and audience that the movie faces. "However, within television, audiences matter – a lot. In particular, the imagination of audiences matters because demographics determine which advertisers might be interested in shilling their wares in the spaces between the narrative" (Alfre & Martin, 2018, p.1) The film is a sophisticated work. The director has mastered his own high-speed editing and eye-catching close-up style. The rhythm of the film is very suitable for the hot Italian summer in the film. The details of the film are very special. The trust and power of the characters in the film will make ordinary audiences who are not familiar with it feel very rich. It is this kind of film craftsmanship that will let people know that the film can create resonance from an almost spiritual perspective. According to Doty (1993), "Queer" is a practiced mass culture, which is accepted and shared by different audiences to varying degrees (p.2). This film is not limited to LGBTQ groups, it is more like a movie of the same kind A new attempt to allow a more diverse audience to find a microcosm of their own life from the emotional development of the protagonist to the regretful ending. It is not only that the audience group is not defined, it is a diversified process from production to presentation. "'Queer'" can be used to describe an authorial voice, a character, a mode of textual production, and/or various types of representation practice. Filmmakers, forms, and audiences-not necessarily identified as gay or lesbian-can rather be understood as queer" (Benshoff & Griffin, 2004, p.2). As this sentence says, this movie is no longer a queer main movie in its own sense. What it wants to present to the audience is just a paragraph A beautiful and slightly regretful love story.

And in the following part, I would like to share some of my personal views and comments on the film.Before I saw this film, I only felt that the title of this film was very sentimental. Although I knew it was a story about the same sex and had won numerous awards, I was not particularly interested this time because I was disappointed in Carol first. I thought, alas, maybe another film won the award by relying on the same sex stunt.But after watching the movie, my heart was calm for a long time.Should this relationship in the movie be called sweet or regrettable?It's sweet because you have a wonderful and romantic time together.Sadly, it was clear that the relationship was not going to last, as Oliver's holiday was over and the couple were likely to be separated for the rest of their lives.Alas, sad romance ah.In the scene at the train station, the director handles it with great restraint. The two men don't even speak, just a deep hug. Then Elio smiles and watches Oliver get on the train.Elio struggled, and his grief manifested itself when he finally called home, crying and asking his mother to come pick him up.Seeing this paragraph, I already shed tears.People in love generally hope to be together all the time, but separation, often bring is tore heart crack lung pain.In the film, Elio's pain was also restrained. Maybe in front of his mother, Elio had to restrain his emotion, but because of the pain of separation, he could not cry, but could only twist his face into a lump. I have to say that the director showed the character's emotion perfectly.I want to say, Elio was still very happy, he came back home, my father said to him the meaning of a passage, it is the world 90% of the parents could not have said, he told Elio, do you have a wonderful friendship, perhaps more than friendship, you may now pain, sad, but don't let this feeling disappear, not to mention there have been happy.What a waste it is for us not to feel in order not to feel.I think it was a great comfort to Elio that their relationship was validated, that it was real, and that even though they weren't together, the joy they had would make this summer memorable.This reminds me of a sentence we learned at that time: "Het Culture think of itself as the elemental form of human Association, as the very model of inter-gender relations, as the indivisible basis of all community,And as the means of reproduction without which society wouldn't exist "(Warner, 1993, p.21).This film shows us that the beauty and simplicity of relationships should not be mixed into the so-called mission of reproduction.Love this abstract thing is unrelated to gender, just a warm attraction between two people.

"Do you mean what I think you mean?" The tone of the whole film is like these dialogues, full of ambiguity, whether day or night. Two shy people fell in love and started a classic couple life. However, there was no banquet that would never end. Oliver had to go. The night before parting, Elio saw Oliver dancing with the stranger on the road, squatting down and vomiting violently. Vomit is not only because he is unable to drink, but also because he is about to part with you. He sings and dances with strangers to his heart's content. You are like an outsider. The person you love deeply, like Mount Fuji, doesn't belong to you, and then the miserable heart quickly vomites out. The next day, the platform whistle, two people smile goodbye, the train left, take away your favorite person, you finally can't help but wipe a tear, crying in the place he can't see. At this time, he called his mother to pick her up. His mother comforted him in the car. When he got home, his father boiled chicken soup for him to drink. He felt sorry for his parents. Father's several bowls of chicken soup, the child immediately stopped crying, and even lit up hope, the professor is really not a fuel-efficient lamp. Two years later, on Hanukkah, it was winter in the small town. Frozen ponds, withered fruit trees, and heavy snow all implied the tragic fate of the hero. Elio received a phone call from Oliver, like an old friend, "I'm going to get married." then there was a classic blessing. I was numb to see. I didn't know that the screenwriter even asked Elio to say "Elio" six times. I admit that A few words almost tears, and then Oliver's soft call "Oliver", I knew the story began to point. There was a light in the eyes of the boy by the fire, but I believe he was happy at that moment because I felt the same. "Queerness is not so much a stable, clearly defined sexual orientation as it is a way of seeing and experiencing the world" (Ruberg&Phillps, 2018). This film gives me a totally different way of experiencing and seeing events. If Jack in Brokeback Mountain is warm and cheerful, and Ennis is is silent, two people forced by life fall in love on Brokeback Mountain, and eventually Yin and yang are separated. This is the real world. Then Call Me By Your Name is more like a hazy poem in the sunshine. It is a new attempt to integrate queer and the film industry. It makes people ignore the cruelty of reality and social system, and only devote themselves to the beautiful world brought by movies.

References:

1. Ahmed, S. (2006). Queer phenomenology: Orientations, objects, others. Duke University Press.

2. Doty, A. (1993). Making things perfectly queer: Interpreting mass culture. Minneapolis: University of Minnesota Press.

3. Alfred, L. & Martin, Jr. (2018). Pose(r): Ryan Murphy, Trans and Queer of Color Labor, and the Politics of Representation. LA Review of Books. URL: https://lareviewofbooks.org/article/poser-ryan-murphy-trans-queer-color-labor-politics-representation/

4. Benshoff, H. M., & Griffin, S. (Eds.). (2004). Queer cinema: The film reader. Psychology Press.

5. Warner, M., & Social Text Collective. (1993). Fear of a queer planet: Queer politics and social theory. Minneapolis, MN: University of Minnesota Press.

6. Ruberg, B., Phillips, A., Pozo, T., Stone, K., & Youngblood, J. (2018). -Queerness and Video Games Not Gay as in Happy: Queer Resistance and Video Games (Introduction). Game Studies, 18(3).

#call me by my name #queer #queer movie

[orionares]

BTHB: Comatose- Part 2

A/N: Don’t have a title yet. Here’s part 2. =] -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She dreams of possibilities. 

These possibilities had been buried in the back of her mind a decade ago into the category of ‘broken dreams’ when her partner had disappeared. The particular possibility crossing her mind is a new one, spurred by the day she had jogged away from him with her son in tow on a snowy afternoon.

Noah’s fifteen, tall and lanky with his reddish brown curls, standing with a group of teenagers in matching shirts, black pants and tap shoes. He grins ear to ear with his troop as parents in the audience cheer for an encore.  

In this possibility, she’s standing in the second row, clapping and letting tears of pride run down her cheek. Her not-so-little boy has fought like hell for this moment. An arm wraps around her waist and pulls her close to the only person outside her son who has a piece of her heart. 

"You did good."

She laughs at the compliment  from her once again partner and rests her hand against his cheek. "We did good!”

Her once again partner’s blue eyes sparkle with admiration and love that she’d gone ten years without seeing. In this possibility, they move fluidly as they had before as partners but with a new level of intimacy. 

“This isn’t real,” she whispers, barely audible over the cheering and his attention turned towards her son. She knows she shouldn’t lose herself in this possibility. 

But this possibility is free of saving the world from predators, abandonment issues, lingering fears of the pandemic and pain. And she’s emotionally exhausted. 

So maybe she can stay a while. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Elliot’s woken by a kick to his chair leg. 

Expecting Bell and a well needed cup of coffee, Elliot opens his eyes to a blonde haired, blue eyed woman looking extremely unimpressed at the sight of him. The woman had been in Olivia's office, leaving her likely to be one of her detectives. 

"Get up," the blonde commands with a southern drawl. Rollins or Rowan, he guesses as her last name from a foggy memory, turns away from his makeshift cot and gives a lingering sad look towards the unconscious Olivia. She huffs out a breath and returns her attention back to Elliot, saying, “Let’s go for a walk.” 

"Do I get a choice-" Elliot stops mid question at the I freaking dare you glare very similar to Olivia’s. Ignoring the sudden urge to smile in reminiscence, he coughs and swings his legs off the chair serving as the foot of his 'bed' and tweaks his question," What can I do for you, Detective…"

"Rollins, Amanda Rollins," she finishes. "First off, I don’t like you, Stabler. I don’t like how you up and disappeared without a word for a decade,” Amanda continues as she ignores Elliot’s pained expression. She notices Elliot's flinch at the mention of his disappearance. "Come on. I don't have a lot of time."

Elliot takes a beat to read Amanda- she holds onto a coffee tightly as its a lifeline, wears a grey sweater and black slacks with a small stain likely to be from a marker near her knee.

"Are you a parent?" Elliot probes. Standing elicits a yawn and a useless stretch to fight his tight, aching muscles. 

Amanda's expression lightens briefly for the briefest moment. "Two girls. Captain's the godmother for both my girls. Let's head to the garden and chat. Come on.”

------------------------------------------------------

Manhattan is grey and unusually cool for a summer day in July. The hospital's garden has only a handful of visitors that scatter throughout the stone garden. Elliot instinctively scans every face he sees for any ties to Wheatley, even with Richard Wheatley sitting in a jail cell. Amanda leads the way to black steel bench and sits, giving him ample space to sit. 

"So why’d you leave her?" Amanda asks as Elliot lowers himself onto the bench. She avoids his anxious look by eyeing the lukewarm coffee in her hands. 

"It's complicated-"

Amanda scoffs before taking a sip of her coffee. She fidgets in her seat briefly before leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees. "That's bullshit."

Elliot runs a hand over the back of his neck and sighs. He replays bits and pieces of his conversation with Noah in his head whispers he fishes for the most diplomatic answer to say. Amanda narrows her eyes at the silence before snapping, "You broke her trust, you know that? My old partner, Nick Amaro, had to double our efforts to gain Olivia’s trust because of you!" 

"I know, " he answers weakly. The weeks after landing in Rome are a blur, thanks to alcohol and sleepless nights. "I can't imagine. "

"No, you can't."

The silence that follows is thick between them. The blonde haired detective stares straight ahead with a small white dove statue surrounded by colorful peonies. She takes a long sip of her coffee and mutters, “She’s been through a lot in the last ten years- things that…”

Elliot flinches. Among the suspicious glances of the infamous rogue detective, he’s heard whispers and vague references of “with all she’s been through” whenever he’s been within arm’s reach of Olivia. 

“Did something-” the question that’s been buried between his grief for Kathy and hatred for Richard Wheatley spills out, “-did- what happened?”

Amanda finally turns her head to meet Elliot’s eyes. He can read hesitancy in her eyes to trust the man that abandoned Olivia. He also reads a desire to either punch him in the face or shoot him that he’s seen from Fin, the young dark haired officer he met briefly in Olivia’s office, the ADA and oddly, Chief Garland. 

“It isn’t my story to tell,” Amanda replies carefully. “There’s actually multiple stories but the big one is something you need to hear from her. Look, Stabler- I’ve only heard bits and pieces about you and Liv and I want to say that I trust her judgement.” 

Elliot pushes past his mind already fervently making a plan to scour his ex-partner’s file once he’s back upstairs. A lone raindrops hits his cheek, warning a need to go inside and an end of their conversation. “I’m not going anywhere. I-I’m not- I can’t lose her again.”

Amanda rises to her feet and tosses her empty coffee cup into the black garbage bin next to the bench. With a quick glance to her cellphone screen, she sighs, “Stabler, don’t screw this up, ok?”

He unconsciously fidgets with his wedding ring and only nods in response.  There's a never ending list of screw up he carries in the back of his mind where Olivia and Kathy sit. 

Two women, lives affected by his indecision. 

"Stabler?"

Elliot glances up to Amanda who hasn't moved from where she stands. She sighs before stating ,"William Lewis. He's the big one."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You got a good group of detectives," are the first words Elliot stammers fifteen minutes later once he's back alone with Olivia. "I met Amanda Rollins and she's tough. I like her."

He can imagine her nodding in acknowledgement at the comment with pride. Instead, the heart monitor continues to beep steadily. "She mentioned that things happened while I was gone, "he pauses as his guilt once more bubbles up," Bad Things."

Elliot lowers his head into his hand. "Liv, if I'm being honest, there's a selfish part of me that doesn't want to know. I want to live in a world where- I'm terrified of what I'll find."

Although he had never told her, the near rape at Seaview Corrections Facility had forever seared a permanent place in his mind. He's eternally great full for Fin's save but the could have's sitting in his mind,  flaring up with every glance or comment by a suspect-

"I don't…." Elliot pulls his cellphone out of his jacket pocket and notices how much heavier the object feels. "William Lewis- did he try to kill you? Did he ra-"

He cant even finish the sentence before he chokes back a sob. "If he...I shouldn't have left!"

The image of her shifting in her seat, her brown eyes shifting from item to item in her surrounding in a tact to prepare herself comes to mind. Elliot reaches out to brush his hand against her right hand resting on her stomach in an unconscious attempt to comfort her.  

And if he's honest- himself.

With two quick inhales, Elliot opens the NYPD database on his cellphone and maneuvers to case search. He sneaks another glass to her before typing William Lewis in the search bar. When a dark haired, empty-eyed man appears, Elliot flinches. 

September 25, 2013

January 8, 2014

April 30th, 2014

"Christ," Elliot mutters. 

Three different dates. 

Three separate incidents.

 Less than one year. 

The detective readies himself to open the file before his guilt, now running rampant in his mind, flashes a memory of what he had been doing in September 2013. 

Camogli. 

He had finally slipped into some form of normalcy with his family and had gone to the quaint fishing town on the coast of Italy. 

Elliot takes one more glance at his unconscious partner- ex-partner - and opens the file on William Lewis. 

And cries.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

She now dreams of Elliot in a jail cell. 

He's sitting on a silver bench, leaning forward with an elbow on a bouncing knee. She can see his knuckles to be bloodied and torn and follows the trail of dried blood running up his arms to the bloodied dress blue shirt.

"El," she calls out. Her eyes droop even as she stands on four days of food and sleep deprivation. "You didn't-" the words spill out, "You didn't have to kill him."

There's an emptiness in his eyes that shares space with the lack of regret. "I had to. Lewis hurt you."

Wait- realization comes in dread. Elliot's never been arrested, she's never found him bloodied and bruised in this state and overall, when it comes to William, Lewis- he wasn't there. 

She staggers back into the wall.

This isn't right- he wasn't this isn't a memory or a blissful possibility now that he's home. 

No, this is 2013 and he's killed William Lewis.

No. This isn't right at all.

#bensler #olivia benson #elliot stabler #law and order svu #bad things bingo #bad things happen bingo