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annoying-probably · 1 year

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Hello! I finally looked at the lyrics for hitsuji ga ippiki, and this happened in the span of... An hour? Mind the bad wording and not-as-done-up presentation as the previous ones! Tumblr formatting is the death of me, truly.

I'm taking my translations from the vocaloid fandom page and mirapaint on twitter, please bear with my translation differences struggle!

Enjoy the sheep analysis:)

this self loathing is a personal best, I'll ignore it - I want to act pretentious, desperado, if I can't? I'll self loathe.

man?????? an has been masking her whole life to be on top and consciously or not she's realised she isn't way ahead of expectations now, she can't put on her forward face of just going with the flow, her minds going mile a minute to do everything, to be well liked and loved but maybe it's projection. Kohane isn't used to this feeling, or atleast so strongly, so she hides from it, the cause?? I don't actually know I haven't read any new events but it could be from her standard of feeling like the odd one out.

this scapegoat is none of my business, I'm wrestling my own - this is a scapegoat, this roar (?) , It's like a curse that doesn't fade.

they're off the deep end I wonder why kashika and aogu are so damn idealising of that./s. I wouldn't read it as direct for Akito, being he's aware of Touya suffering but is turning a blind eye, more like.. he thinks because they're both going through it it's like okay? Or that he feels he can't intrude on it because that's went so well in the past. And Touya has had a whooole damn thing with constantly using a scapegoat of his history with music to escape it and not try and further himself, so he either feels guilty that he's ran so much, or that the history itself exists, or like. both. could always be both/guilt of holding everyone back because nobody in this damn group can communicate with each other that they all have the same issue.

I don't get what the hell the roar line means,,,, it's bugging me. Like,,. Passion? In other parts they mention passion becoming pain so it ties in and fits Touya,,, but????? Roar??

Oh is it cus his scapegoat, this doesn't seem like a word anymore, aren't meant to break from pattern as like a mindless sheep? So it's breaking the pattern and yelling out?

Or maybe it means arguments..? Like social/relationship scars?? I have no damn clue here

-right now, theres a 100 sheep here in a mud boat waiting to sink.

Someday the sun comes down, they opted out.

One ran away from it, 1-2-3.

so there's a 100 people starting music on shabby, baseless starts, with no real desire to become something real. I'll bet the 1-2-3 sheep that 'ran off' would be vbs- An. I originally said Kohane for the obvious reasons but An hasn't ran from anything. She started in music, she'll end in music. I'll say Kohane ran from like her past self, but she didn't start in music but I think it sticks. An, with Kohane, doesn't actually sing this part, so I think it can go for either however I'm using the next like as backup lol. And obvs the vbs connection to everything happening in the night where they can have their 'true selves'. Please bear in mind I'm using two diff translations here too lol.

- you can say whatever but, tell me you're pretending to be an oblivious fool

an is talkin to herself isn't that fun! Obviously it sounds like it could be to meiko, but what's meiko, if not an extension of her? :) an doesn't even know who *she* is.

- you're just a lonely sheep on your own, let me hear that voice of yours.

With the filter, it makes me think this is An's projection of Kohane, much like how it happened in moonlight yk? Berating her, yet pushing her forward anyways to sing. I think An has a real complex going on about Kohane. Loving her and constantly pushing herself down because she adores Kohane and her talent so much, so it almost seems like an, consciously or not, thinks Kohane is sorta like controlling her..?

- there's one sheep in the dark. Let's tear it all to pieces **|** O, lone sheep, go tear the darkness to pieces, the entire thing

Those are very different translations? Most are quite similar but those are. Hm.

The first one implies what I'd expect, a sheep out of of the bunch, a black sheep, and suggesting to sorta like maim the imposter. sung by Meiko/Kohane/Touya, which for the human two, could very easily be fingers they're pointing at themselves. The other translation?? Implies the lonely sheep is like angry and wants to tear away at the darkness of the others, also befitting for Kohane and touya, but the darkness of their partners, not supported by the song earlier, I'd say, but supported by the cards. ( But then again Kohane, in the cards, is a lone sheep in the darkness so, could also be her being the lone like prophet sheep to help em lol)

- if this beautiful night won't ever end, why don't we counting numbers?

Counting sheep! Classic method to falling asleep, but the night is a common theme. Usually seen, obviously, in the characters revealing their truest selves, pretty or not. But I think this more implies they're keeping it to be "the night." They've crowded the sky with darkness, with insecurity and doubt... And what did Kohane do, at the start, when she self loathes? She sleeps!~ so, meiko suggests the same, counting all the "sheep" here, so they can sleep away their loathing.

- when you become the only sheep, what do you want after that?(m,an,ak)

-im a sheep made to soothe, could you leave me be? / This version of me is a lonely one could you leave me be, now?

I'm being cursed by multiple translations again.

being the only sheep atleast probs means like, the others are healing and not wallowing in pain anymore, or they've just moved on, leaving behind a final sheep. An and Akito are scared of being left behind because of their fears. standard vbs. And with that translation, what do you want after that is also reminiscent of moonlight to me but I probably shouldn't compare em so much.

so translation one. back to an's identity crisis of what she is outside of other people, wanting to be alone. The other translation is pretty similar the word difference just makes her seem more dramatic, "this version of me" like... Alone now, in the dark night, because everyone else has left? I think it makes sense, aswell as possibly linking into meiko again, using her as a stopper and holder of her feelings. And obviously continuing, an wallows, asking to be alone.

- you're just a solitary sheep here, now, defy and move beyond.

Kohane, the real one, isn't joining An in her pains, but she is encouraging her. Telling her that she is alone, everyone is starting (to try to) grow. She's telling her to like pull up her boot straps and become more than she was made to be. Much like An did for Kohane.

AND BACK TO TRANSLATION CURSES!

- if this state of misery is a personal best, if you give it a name, it's like a curse **|** if this is misery it's my pb, if I were to give it a name; it's a curse.

That distinction of if I name it, it's a curse. Or if I had to call it by something, it'd be a curse.

The first one I like more, the idea that if you acknowledge sorrow, it latches on and increases into a leech, a curse. The second is just calling misery and hatred a curse in of it self but I think the first one is more special. especially coming from Akito.

- with "something" that's no longer just a hobby, you're bound to get hurt more and more.

An just lamenting about how music is something she has to be passionate about now, she is actually trying to do something, and when you want to learn and grow, you make mistakes. And mistakes hurt like hell, especially when you're surrounded by people who, you think, expect better of you. This kinda angle makes me think an never like.. truly strived to surpass rad weekend, the same way every kid says they'll be president (or some equivalent) yk? It's not that she didn't want to, but she loved music more for the fun and joy of singing, and turning what you love into a job will always be kinda draining in some way, not having freedom.

- haven't you been told it? "I love you". I can't stay here forever, so, (t) ( could also be, that " did they make you say it?'I love you' can't exist for all of time, so,"

- let's go on a one-night, two-day trip to hell and flourish in heresy, I mean. (M)

the double translations AAAAA. This making me damn insane.

The second one makes more sense to me, Touya doubting any love he's given because he feels as if he shouldn't be around everyone, even doubting that they'll all stay together and the fact everything will just fall apart in the end. The first one makes it seem like he's the hesitant one, unwilling to give love because he feels, again, as if all is fleeting. Then the added "fuck it all" basically, of meiko speaking true desires as she usually does, not caring if they go to hell, just having time away from the darkness and other people, thinking and saying things "sheep" couldn't, whatever that means to broader terms.

- ..I mean,

I see.. X4

meiko, to +Kohane, to +Akito, to full the three. Interesting choice of characters but I'll read it as the partners seeing through their partners true wants/pains?

then we circle back to the chorus with different line distribs.

The distrib is flipped a lil, probably just for voice reasons but now it's Akito and Kohane singing, could also be read as the previous wants being broadcast so they're telling antouya step out the darkness and destroy it all.

This time, Akito takes over meikos previous line ( if the night won't end why don't we count /parap), which, with the addition of the above line about a one-night outing??? sounds more like its leaning into that heresy from before. Counting numbers to sleep away the pain.

- when you become the only sheep, what do you want after that? (M,An,T)

Again, almost the same as before, but Akito and Touya switched. Once again could just be the switch for vocal and line distrib things, but hey, akitoya is having their usual dance of mental illness in this song so you can also say it's that, asking him what he'd do cus surprise! hes ignoring his issues again ( as he just said about counting to fall asleep. )

- I'm a lonely sheep, could you leave me be? /Para (t)

hey look! It's the same as an before! and the same as the two of them in moonlight! they're scared of being left alone yet isolate themselves in their loneliness. Fun!

- you're still just a sheep, can you even laugh at this version of me? (M)

Now because he spoke last, I could point this at Touya, instead I'm pointing this at everyone. They're all still sheep, none of them have broken free, they can't even laugh at the free, unbranded, Meiko. At the same time, she's pushing forward and showing how they all feel- pitiful, like a circus animal to be laughed at, in their darkest mindsets, because they all seem to trivialise their own issues, make them out to be stupid blips.

funny little nanana, with Kohane breaking the cycle to lead into the final chorus.

I don't think anything stands out here, the different line distribs are what id say is the same meaning as the last one, even with the different characters.

- You're just still one sheep of the flock.

Won't you try not to get cursed?

From now, until you die. (M)

- all of you are just one sheep here now, defy, and move before. (K)

The same as before!! But Meiko almost teases the others, telling them that if they don't make some move, they're all just sheep, cursed to live their entire life in this feeling, and they're not making any change.

And Kohane repeats the same line, the solitary sheep, broken free from the cycle, trying to get the others to follow, much like sheep, but in their own path, so they aren't always coping each other and hurting themselves.

Can't wait for An's next breakdown event, guys!!

#project sekai #prsk #proseka #puroseka #vbs #vivid bad squad #azusawa kohane #shiraishi an #shinonome akito #aoyagi touya #hitsuji ga ippki #is this song called one sheep or sheep sre great ive seen different opinions #had fun doing this #ironically my brain has been in overdrive of shit for like ages now so sorry if some of this rambles a while #talking from my brain rn #colourful stage #vocaloid #meiko

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screamingallium · 2 years

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sausages lore and story telling is so cool oh my god

so i was talking in my last post about how i think whoever's hunting sausage is likely one of the assassins sent from The King to get him. however that now contradicts some thing slightly within the little tidbit we got today.

putting it below the cut cus this got so much longer than intended lol

i genuinely dont think any of the new characters are going to be empire rulers. we got teased about who it was going to be joining the new season and theres always the chance theres more than just oli, seapeekay and martyn however im only gonna be keeping those three in mind.

im still 90% sure that the person steal things from fwhips ancient city was oli, so that leaves callum and martyn.

diverging from who it could be fore a second we have some options for the characters motive:

a) assassin sent to kill sausage, cannot find him, assumes him dead but stays camped in the area

b) assassin sent to kill sausage but will not follow through, cannot find him assumes him dead and stays in the area

c) old friend from the village, eddie and bubbles have both survived whos to say others didnt as well? trying to find sausage to ask for help or something else, cannot find, assumes him dead, stays in the area yada yada

we dont have a lot of information right now but i do have a feeling sausage and whoever it is making these camps (because there are more than one of them no doubt, usually there'll be a few for different needs even if its just one person. places to scout out and try to find what or who you're looking for) are going to eventually meet up one way or another. whether their intentions are good or bad, we cant be sure.

i think, and this could be me clocking it COMPLETELY wrong, that this person is going to be martyn's characters. its something about the tone of the signs left on sausage's grave to me that screams martyn. its fitting it doesnt end in a poem either but something about it screams martyn to me.

#iiiii have so many thoughts about s2!sausage #insert 'i've connected the dots' 'you didnt connect shit' 'i've connected them' here again #THIS SEASON HAS ME SO EXCITED AUUGH #thomas talks #empires smp season 2 #empires smp spoilers

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snailfen · 1 year

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(regarding the five pebbles and seven red suns ship) i feel like when it comes to the iterators either interpretation could be valid?? like some people interpret them as friends, some interpret them as family

like, lttm says "one of [pebble's] friends" when talking about suns, and then suns themselves says (paraphrasing a bit) "as a long time friend" on the pearl they send to him

in regards to the ancients calling themselves the iterators parents, i always felt like it was akin to the way some religious people say that everyone is a children of [insert god here] or something, like a metaphor

sorry for the anon jumpscare i'm a bit nervous, the last thing i want is to be called a pr/shitter- i just personally have always interpreted them as friends

no no youre good cus im not looking to cause shit myself! im just confused. if anything i was nervous to ask anything cus ive heard some people in the rw discord are quick to dispute this whenever its brought up about shipping the two and as someone whos been around fandom for a long time thats a preeeetty bad sign.

also same here abt seeing suns and pebs as just friends, its just that now that ive returned to rw a few years later and looked into the lore pearls again that i think its implied that iterators would see eachother as somewhat related perhaps?

i didnt think about the iterators being considered like "children of (godlike figure)" but in hindsight, thats also a possibility. In the lore pearl that this is brought up they also say that five pebbles is "their gift to the world" or something like that, and that seems to fit with that theme as well...

and yeah, when it comes to all forms of art, no interpretation is truly wrong. i think the main point that bothers me aside from the possibly siblings stuff is i feel like this isnt what people should be getting out of the iterators plotline? like shipping is fun. it is for fun. im not gonna go after people for that! but i also feel like people should be taking a step back and appreciating the characters for what they are and not for what they could be. if that makes sense?

about your second point, i have something to say about that but its MAJOR downpour spoilers, specifically for the rivulet and the spearmaster campaigns so im just gonna put it under a readmore

in the rivulets campaign, when asking the rivulet to do one last thing for him, pebbles calls moon "an old friend" himself (in fact thats what the achievement for finishing rivulet is called). moon very explicitly sees pebbles as a younger brother and expresses this at the end of the campaign. and in the spearmasters campaign theres those satellite things that show iterator logs when touched, and we get to see 2 iterators (from what i assume to be a neighboring group) gossiping about pebs, one of them brings up the fact that pebs was built near moon and the other asks "Isn't she his senior enough to the point where she calls herself 'Big Sis Moon'?". Its much more explicit that moon views her group as her younger siblings but pebs still calls her an old friend of his regardless!

last of all, someone said this in the tags of my post but looking at the lore pearl convo between pebbles and suns as well as the one between suns and wind really gives suns the impression of an older sibling, at least it does to me. also, back to those satellites in the spearmasters campaign, suns says that pebbles always looked up to them and they never took that lightly. srs is someone pebbles considers close because he looks up to him!

Their dynamic is something interesting to me now bc of downpour and im all about bullshitting and reading into things a little bit more for ships, but looking at SRS and FP.... how do i describe it. i dont really feel like theres SPACE for shipping in this case? like it wouldnt be necessarily invalid but its kinda missing the Point of the spearmasters campaign i feel. infact i feel like this is the only reason people see seven red suns as male despite none of the other iterators having specified genders (unless the dlc confirmed a gender for suns, then i missed that). anyways this last paragraph is just me rambling oops

#not putting this in the main tag #but im just throwing my opinion out here! im not saying people CANT ship characters. if someone takes this as me trying to say that i SWEAR #TO GOD #i just like. ok i dont wanna call this a case of shipping goggles its not THAT bad. but i wish that people wouldnt HAVE to ship things to #stay engaged with media #yknow what i mean?#asks #rain world downpour spoilers #rain world spoilers

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pinkseas · 1 year

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[parasocial bestie] seeing that ask answered and speeding thru 382983 mph reading and the questions and i go >:] cracks knuckles eats em like french fries i read the answers and honestly i have no brains to answer back What than just to handshake back 4 times and it rlly made me happi!!! ALSO QUESTIONS TIME FOR ME TO ANSWER DAMN?

a) i dont think i have like a main?? but like back in 2.7 it literally. got me back to Loving xiao to the extent I Am Now and its my whole personalith for the 848274th time so i took every chance jsut to have him in the team so i can hear his jp voice (i am very biased at his jp voice i can never unhear him and im not regretting it) so like hes now the Main Guy in my exploration teams ever with yelan nahida zhongli peepaw and i think the others speaks a lot too LMAOOOO

b) the ones mentioned alrd part of the lil list of i will die for them forever <33 and those in my past asks too like the chasm crew gets me Thinking of them no matter how i Dont Know them a lot more than theyve shown themselves (or i jsut didnt bother to be chronically obsessed 2 read them I LOVE SHINOBU AS SHE IS BUT DO I WANNA GO TO HER HANGOUTS AGAIN AND PICK EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HER LINES FOR LORE IDT SO i kiss my love <33) tho ei is that kind of Fav more like that i can understand her flaws even if its unjustified and she can be a bit childish so i just. Look Away sometimes now that wanderer got his own solace and have a new life with nahida whos a way better caretaker/friend (i will Die for their dynamic), i still get a lil irritated of the asian mom memes she gets put in too. the lil hcs of her with xiao is very much the silly self indulgence i like and separates her and the shogun cus i still think she has her twin's influences!! just Bad at social cues (unperceives her first story quest tho. that is not the Bad At Social Cues or Living in general that im looking for they dumbed her down So Bad) ANYWAYS did u know i missed albedo's banner once and i spent a year mourning endlessly worse than xiao until his rerun and got lucky in 40 pulls if xiao is for lumine then albedo is for ME. kazuha my beloved wanderer i would put him in a burrito blanket but will also willingly throw him off the cliff for the fucking snarkiness he has. venti has an entirely special place in my heart like another category like i do for xiao and lumine and zhongli bc hes. idk!! i think hes a very Comfort guy to me that i look so far past his drunkard ehe flirty femboy common perception of him, which is how i got too passionate on that one unpublished too. hes not the Little Guy type of comfort hes the 'he has this indescribable feeling of closeness and comfort and warmth i want to have in someone that i will meet one day', and i could go On and On about the little things ive thought of him while at the same time i dont focus too much to dig his canon lore!! more like, i pick off the important ones for sure and can already see the core parts of who he is and stick there :((( <3 the major thing is that i love seeing him as a love-all typa guy with no preferences as a god of freedom and his vibes are just so. aspec. so aro so ace he Doesnt Care more than he cares for everyone. which is why the ships can Tick Me Off esp the most famous one!! LIKE JEEZ!!! anyway Again the guys i Find Cool and digging thru my brain 2 remember rn; diluc (my lil tall gentleman) kokomi (queen) dehya (i just dont like her exposed midriff design can u feel) jean (her and diluc kaeya as a trio is Such A Dynamic!! i love trios!!) klee (actually id die for her too for being the canon sib to albedo) qiqi (the same for being the Headcanon sib to xiao) alhaitham (asshole. also ive delved into analyzing a Little of his character and i like his sense of neutrality to some things) kaveh (his Fucking Existence being a funny spectacle + i only focus on his briefcase friend Mehrak) THERES PROLLY MORE BUT IM NOT SURE IF I CANT RMB

c) ppl say mondstadt feels very homey and since its the first region we're introduced to i can agree!! and its home to a Lot More Mystery regarding the traveler since its the least explored i still think about the upside down statue a lot. but i cant rlly say if i have a Certain favourite that doesnt tie to my favs than my personal taste (the chasm rlly ingrained a Permanent Influence on me regarding sentimentality of loss) so i cant rlly choose!! liyue's got my boy and his peepaw + chasm, inazuma is the start of Really Great World Quests despite how hard it is to thru the region in general + enkanomiya is so Pretty and such a concept, sumeru has the same reasons and the caves are Irritating before the underground layouts are finally integrated in their official interactive maps. i just like to explore!!

d) idt i have much expectations that doesnt feel Petty like the ongoing issue of hyv prioritizing aether as their poster boy that lumine barely has any official work EVEN as the abyss sibling, 'both twins canon travelers' my ass. i think i would very much like a trading system but i Can understand why that wont work profit-wise for hyv BUT BELIEVE ME NOW NY SOLE REASON FOR IT IS JUST ME NEEDING SWEET FLOWERS FOR MY SWEET DREAM ALMOND TOFU HOARDING. i need sugar so bad. i have 300+ in the making i can never reach 1k. i need another xiao-centric quest cus lantern rite doesnt rlly center him and the chasm was a cultural reset But I Get that chasm occuring once is exactly why ir should stay that way to be Infuential and not repetitve and def not abt xiao being hyv's favourite guy SO HOW ABT BRINGING ALBEDO LORE BACK THIS YEAR. nahida venti 2nd story quest when. i think they should buff the traveler so much they shouldnt be ranked B as any role of a team!!! it's kinda sad theyre fun At first in sumeru then not anymore. i think thats it atm!!

note to self swap to jp voices if you ever get xiao. just looked up the voice and OHHHHHHHHHHH MY GOD DO NOT BLAME YOU ONE BIT WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. suddenly i am down bad oh my GOD.

and with yelan nahida and zhongli oh my god i Love that for you so bad that sounds like such a funky little crew..........

CHASM CREW <33333 shinobu especially youre so real for that like ohhhh my god. oh my God. love her so bad. fully understand ei being the fave tbh and also understand the looking away, im so mad at how they handled her story quests and her writing she deserved SO much better but the concept at least is There to think about and build off of and i love that for her... HAVING HER TWIN'S INFLUENCES so fawking good god i LOVE that.

"if xiao is for lumine then albedo is for ME" THIS MADE ME CACKLE I LOVE THAT FOR YOUUUUUUUU albedo is so. my baby my babyyyyyyyy. kazuha is my everything his Snark is also my everything i love him so bad for it hes soooooooo.

and venti !!!!!! venti. on god venti gets done SO dirty SO frequently i fucking LOVE the way you talk about him like. "he has this indescribable feeling of closeness and comfort and warmth i want to have in someone that i will meet one day" HELLO ???????? FUCK YEAH. and the love-all super aroace vibes YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS idk man IF youre gonna make him all flirty. at least make it flirting as a form of banter/teasing/friendship and still super aroace on top of it likeeeee <- says girl who is super aroace and flirts so fucking much with her friends. um. oops. Anyways. DONT BLAME YOU ONE BIT FOR BEING TICKED OFF im gonna think about this forever now im obsessed.. venti aroace KING............ bc yeah no the little guy ehe flirty drunkard is so. mmmmmmmmmmmmm. he's a whole ass character with a whole ass personality and a god on top of it GIVE HIM SOME FUCKING CREDIT GIVE HIM SOME RESPECT CHARACTERIZE HIM BETTER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (sent the venti bit specifically to one of the besties while writing this and pls know that they were so excited and enthusiastic and think you are so very based like they already ready most of the asks/answers but this especially made them so <333 it made Both Of Us So <333333)

diluc <333 KOKOMIIIIII she just like me fr. like so different in a few ways but So Similar in so many others i have so much love and respect for her... the healing the jellyfish the pastel vibe the being held to impossible standards still doing her very best to live up to them wanting nothing more than a) to not have to deal with people but simultaneously b) to make everyone happy.... DEHYA IS SO GOOD and huge agree on the design like. okay. w/e. thanks mihoyo. JEAN DILUC KAEYA TRIO BEST EVER I LOVE THEMMMMMMMMMM jean <3333333333333 klee my best friend klee.... another of the besties is a HUGE klee fan and i love her sm because of it i know so little about her and yet i would do Anything for her ever. qiqi my Everything absolutely feel you there, ALHAITHAM AND KAVEH ARE BOTH. together and separately god they are so fucking stupid i adore them. YOU ARE SO VALID I CAN NEVER REMEMBER FAVES PROPERLY ITS SO DIFFICULT THERE ARE SO MANY AND THEY ARE ALL SO BELVOED

no because ive accepted that hoyo way prefers aether traveler lumine abyss sib but. the way there's just So Much More Aether Content Than Lumine Content. idk man IDK MAN......... fucked up. im coming to terms with it and i almost prefer it just bc it gives me more creative freedom with lumine characterization but also man. MAN. TRADING SYSTEM WOULD BE SO GOOD IN SO MANY WAYS ON GOD id kill for that shit. characters weapons materials mora w/e id LOVE that so bad. let me gather ridiculous amounts of resources for my friends itd be so fun....

would KILLLLLLLLLLLL for another xiao-centric quest holy shit ohhhhh my god. give me my boyRight Now. AND ALBEDO LORE AND SECOND STORY QUESTS FOR NAHIDA AND V ENTI SO FUCKING REAL !!!!!!!!!!!!! BUFFED TRAVELER EVEN MORE REAL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! even if the traveler was like. idk a fawking healer. but a good one. id kill for that if ur gonna make the traveler more support make the mthe Best SUpport Ever Please they are my everything i want them to be the bestest <3 as someone who protjects onto the traveler and loves healer roles i am definitely not biased at all. not even a little bit. smile

why do you have the best thoughts ever i love hearing All of this i am exploding as we speak. on the ground in a million little pieces. blowing away on the wind. landing in the sea. evaporating into thin air. eventually falling down as rain. repeat. sorry my brain is fried again i am about to take my silly little adhd meds crack my knuckles and Get To Work

#parasocial bestie tag

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minccinoocappuccino · 2 years

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I guess they make the Quarry characters unlikeable so that when they inevitably get chased by the monster/slasher etc (only seen the first few chapters so far so idk what they’re gonna be hunted by lol), you can root for them to die lol, or at least maybe get some character development in the process. But yeah, from what I’ve seen Ryan is really the only person I like in the cast cause he seems like a cool guy!

bro listen i get that like i do but also like there isnt one thing at all i like about them like im rooting for all of them to die i actively try n get them killed i dont even want to save them man like this is gonna b spoilers btw so f u havent play or seen the Quarry dont read First off why didnt Christ take any of them n the van with him there was room f he was worried about them being killed he should have took them with him or called the his police brother to come get them n take them to the motel but he didnt he road away n left them

2nd Jacob n Katlyn r some of the worst when things started going to shit they should have fessed up n said they know how to fix the car (f u didnt choose cut the line ofc)

3rd Ryan is ok but he did make a do something that pissed me off he should have gave the gun to Jacob. Ryan was n a group of 5 ppl yes one was injured but they stand a better chance n a group than jacob does by himself going to save Emma. Ryan KNEW there was a extra gun n the big house n he KNEW they werent far from it n that Jacob was going by himself. n Katlyn wasnt better cus that was a good time to say hey Jacob go get the motor arm to fix the car 4th why werent any of the werewolves n cages??? they had cages for them to put the kids n y didnt they put the known werewolfves n??? also f the hunters wanted to save the kids y didnt they just say that then stalking around n shit 5th Lauran killed almost a whole family just to save her bf?????? like she is willing to kill chris to save her bf even after the cop said that the one he was after is a white wolf plus Lauran shot a kid she was just shooting any werewolf she saw not caring who it was n then at the end when she saw Silas she told the cop no dont kill him u dont get to decide f hes bad even tho she went n decided Chris had to die to save her bf n shot every werewolf she saw n f Silas dies than all those under the curse would b free not just her bf f Chris dies like its so dumb shes a dumb person n fact all of them r dumb ppl n theres so much more i could say but im not going to cus i feel this mini rant is long enough I loved House of Ashes like yeah some of the characters were bad but there were also good ones i was like hell yeah i hope they lived but n the Quarry i found myself groaning n ranting about almost every choice the characters made i couldnt even enjoy the game cus even when u can choose for the characters it still feels like a bad choice or another character gets n the way man i love the story of the game it clearly has plotholes but its still decent but damn the characters make me so mad smh

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korships · 6 months

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. not irl negative ! just under a cut cus not put together. just more sad/analytical omi thoughts. mentions of suicidal ideation/bad dads/other sad things.

sorry having omi thoughts

conflicted on the idea of whether omi would want kids or not turned mini essay on the Man of all time

in regards to omi having kids it’s obvious he would be a great parent but im undecided whether i think he would want kids or not. he’d be so terrified of the trauma of either him or s/i dying like his mother did, and he already kinda did his time doing a good chunk of the raising of his little brothers.

like we saw how how low he got after his best friends death i dont think he could handle going through grief like that again especially with so much on the line like raising a family, he’s terrified of that grief again and he’s terrified that grief could cause him to distance himself from any family (sorta like he did w the wolves).

omis survivors guilt is fucking insane and he consistently (at least near the beginning of a/3) struggled with the idea of him being “worthy” of the one to live the crash. a lot of his behavior is compensatory for the “crime” of surviving the incident.

he saw himself as somebody with no real ambitions or dreams, making him, in his mind, unworthy of surviving compared to nachi who had aspirations. imo, his main driving emotion near the beginning of the story is not grief as much as guilt. he has multiple lines wondering if everyone would be better off without him, iirc theres one where director calls him a good person and hes like “i wonder..” in a sorta dismissive way. there were points where you could interpret his lines or thoughts as passively suicidal. he took on his dead best friends dream, to live it for his dead best friend (until he started enjoying it as omi and not just a proxy for a dead friend). his guilt complex is also very very obvious based on his nightmares about the crash (iirc, nachi tells him he shouldve died instead, etc.) in the anime it’s reflected in some sequences where he alludes to acting “recently becoming a dream of his” he touches his chin, drawing attention to the scar. in the stage adaptation they portrayed the nightmares as hallucinations instead (prob due to the limitations of the stages settings and backdrops). he’s also like super, super terrified of juza disliking him in any capacity, in canon he admits it scares him because of the similarities between juza and nachi.

his grief mirrors what little we know of his fathers grief after his mother died. his father neglected homemaking and emotional aspects of parenting, opting to compensate the only way he knew how by earning the money (idr if it was stated omis dad worked extra hours/through himself into work to avoid his grief but i think my idea stands anyways). on the flip side, omi has dealt with two major grievances in his life. his mother, which he didn’t necessarily have the time to grieve because he was put in charge of raising his younger brothers both emotionally and doing homemaking. and his best friend, a best friend that symbolized a freedom for omi, away from the responsibilities of raising children as a child himself. he lost what should have been a symbol of stability and responsibility, and a symbol of freedom and bonds. giving him a messed up idea of friendship where he feels like he constantly has to question his own worth around people who provide him with a sense of stability, responsibility, freedom, and close bonds.

i know a/3s large cast makes it impossible to focus on one character unless its their turn of a focused event BUT im a little sad how this all gets shoved to the side in favor of malewife omi (which dont get me wrong, love him for that. but his love language as cooking was created out of necessity to feed his brothers and continues from not the healthiest thought process. even though throughout the story it has become his fun little thing and its genuinely something he likes doing for those he cares for), like.. have we heard any mentions of his nightmares since the stranger even. he has ptsd, even if its not canon, he definitely has it. in akebono-so they show that his healing hasnt been linear and i just want more of that. we know hes made a lot of progress, but hes such a complicated character compared to what a/3 does with him sometimes.

anyways thx for reading my ‘essay’. i was originally just wanting to think of fankids but this is what it turned into

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wonderwomanfantasy · 3 years

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Haikyuu bottoms

Y’all really feeding me this week with subby boy head cannons I’m here for it.

Tsukishima, Bokuto, Oikawa, Goshiki

Tsukishima

-I see a lot of hard dom headcanons for tsuki, which is fine, but I think it would be a shame to waste all of the brat energy this boy has

-Yes he is tall and strong and mean

-but there is nothing more satisfying then seeing hm broken

- imagine him crying and shaking promissing to be a good boy for you

-Imagine him begging you to go slower while you pound his ass

-imagine edgeing him over and over agian until his cock is throbing and aching and he’s swearing up and down that he will do anything you want if you just let him cum

-Now that’s some good fucking food

-Tsuki is a brat and just doesn’t know it, He thinks he should be incharge in the bedroom cus well, he’s the man

-but you aren’t having none of that shit.

-He gets very frustrated when you have him tied to the bed and won’t listen to what he’s telling you to do

-but when he finally lets go? lets you bring him to pleasure the way you want to?

-Its a whole new world and Tuskishima doesn’t want to ever bother topping agin.

-Not that he lets you know that lmao

-you’re going to have to work for it every single time but tbh that’s part of the fun

-when you ask to peg him you get a very Tsukishima response

- “oh? you think you can?”

-which is his way of saying yes please mommy

-He keeps on insisting that you would be a shitty top with a weak stroke game

-jokes on him when the strap comes in the mail

-He ends up coming like seven times lmao you know how to overstim this bitch

-Slowly you pull back before sinking the toy back inside of him, the tight ring of muscle giving way under your thrusts.

-“So, still think I can’t top for shit?”

-”F-Fuck off,”

-His face is so red and He’s clutching your hand while you fuck him, needing that small bit of comfort.

-”that’s not very nice Kei, you know bad boys don’t get to cum”

-you angel your hips, nuding the silcone cockhead against his prostate and suddenly he's screaming, not caring who hears

-”I’m Sorry! it feels so good, so good Mommy please let me cum”

-theres already a mess of sweat and semen on his stoumach but his cock is so hard you can tell he needs anouther release and really who are you to deny him?

-Idk it just feels like he’s waisted as a top.

Oikawa

-Again I see a lot of hard dom Oikawa stuff and like.... In what fucking world.

-look at him and tell me he’s a top, you can’t

-anyways Oikawa likes it when you step on his throat and spit in his mouth.

-brake his nose and lick up the blood

-He likes being your little bunny slut and will wear the ears and tail for you

-Oikawa thinks he’s a brat and in day to day life he sure is a little shit

-But the second you hit him with the good old “what the fuck did you just say to me?”

-it all crumbles and he’s back to being a soft sub following your rules to the letter

-He’s also very open about liking things up his ass

-Usally it’s his cute little tail plug but he’s not afraid to switch it up

-vibrators, anal beeds, fingers you name it

-ooo fun date idea: Make him masterbate for you, one hand around his cock the other three knucles deep in his ass

-very cute uwu

- So anyways he doesn’t have a problem with pegging

-in fact he probably brought it up

-and by brought it up I mean whined that he didn’t feel full enough with his old toys and wanted something new

-He gets into it

-makes eye contact while you while he drools on the strap his hands gripping your thighs.

- I should have brought it up sooner but he’s a LOUD bitch especally when you start fucking him

- “Oh fuck Mommy please go faster” He moans backing his hips up

-you spank him and scoff

- “slow down you slut you’re going to hurt yourself,”

-He barley let you streach him out before sliding the toy inside of him he’s just so desprate for you to fuck him

- “S-Sorry It just feels so good,”

-he in fact is not sorry. not even a little bit and keeps fucking himself against your hips

-You have to pin him down to the bed to make him stop

-He doesn’t mean to be disobedent he’s just needy

-Don’t think that he’s going to be satisfied once you start moving either

-Your slutty little bunny stays greedy always begging you for more.

Bokuto

-do I think Bokuto is a bottom? not really.

-Do I want to peg him? yeah <3

-I mean how could you not? look at that ass

-Another one who thinks he has to top because he’s the guy

-Big Service top energy, where you’re technaclly ordering him around but he’s doing all the work.

- At the end of the day he’s just a giant puppy who lives to please

-He will go along with anything you want to do

-A personal favorate bottom move of his is when you ride his face

-He hooks his arms around your thighs and keeps you locked against his mouth while he drowns in your pussy

-you know that video of a cow dunking his whole head in a bucket of milk? boktou with your pussy

-all this to say he almost doesn’t even notice when you start domming him

-Not until someone asks who wears the pants in the relationship

-At first he’s like “me obviously” then he remebers that you lead him around on a leash lastnight while he begged you to let him eat you out so like...

-MAYBE he’s a bottom

- but only for you tho >:(

-It’s kind of the same way with Pegging

-you just slowly start working your fingers inside of him during sex then toys

-then you’re lubing up the strap of the first time and he’s like ????

-How the fuck did I get here?

-Not that he’s complaining...

-It feels so good wheny ou fuck him and that’s what sex is about right? making eachother feel good right?

- “Can I have a kiss?” he asked sweetly his arms wrapped around the back of your neck

-He was on his back and you pressing his thighs to his chest while you steadily pumped your cock inside of him

- “of course baby,” you lean down and let him claim your mouth

-He’s always so passionate when he kisses you, theres also so much tounge as Bokutou tries to show how much he loves you with just kisses

-You reach between your bodies and start pumping his cock and almost instantly he cums.

- “F-Fuck babe I’m sorry It just felt good,” he whinned

-but you assure him that it’s fine and he asks “so that means we can keep going right?”

-”of course baby”

Goshiki

- please I love him so much

-He likes kissing

-He likes it when you suck on his tounge and pull him in your lap

- and when you start touching him.

-Touching his hair and his chest, and the back of his neck

-He likes it when you’re making out and you take his hand and guide it to your wet pussy so he knows it’s okay to start petting your wet cunt

-He really has no choice but to start humping your leg when you makeout with him

-You like kissing Goshiki too

-He gets so lost in it that the moment he starts dragging his hips back anf forth along your leg you know how it will end

-It ends with him cumming in his pants

-You live to humiliate him and he looks so perfect when he realizes that he just made a mess right infront of you

-so embaressed, so cute

-of course he lets you take off his pants and underwear so you can wash them for him

-then he’s just standing there awkwardly covering himself with his hands

-what? it’s not like you have clothes for him

-unless he wants to put on a pair of your lacy black panties and a skirt of yours...

-Goshiki is a follower in the bedroom

-if you push his face into your pussy he’ll eat you out no questions asked

-and if you say you want to peg him... well

-He will enthusastically agree then ask you what the fuck pegging is

-and when you explained what it was he’ll hestiantly go along with it

-After all he trusts you, you wouldn’t hurt him... right?

- “you’re taking it so well Gosh, I’m so proud of you,” you purred kissing his neck.

-His chest swells, this is really all he wants, for you to be proud of him.

- “does it feel good?” you ask and he nods

- “yes It feels really good, please keep going I can take more,”

-”are you sure babe?” your lips still trailing over his neck

- he needs more, more of your cock more of your praise more of your kisses

- “Okay baby I’ll give you some more, you’re doing so well,”

#oikawa x reader #imagine oikawa #toru oikawa #oikawa x reader smut #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima headcanons #tsukishima x reader smut #goshiki x reader #goshiki x you #goshiki imagine #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu smut #haikyuu!!#Bokuto x reader #imagine bokuto #bokuto x reader smut

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fatal-rewrites-warriors · 3 years

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darkest hour chapter 20

wow I cant believe I'm this close to the end of the book already?? it feels like I just started it

bro...when sandfire is being actually good, its fucking good.

does this book really only take place over the course of like a month? goddamn okay

idk not much to say abt this chapter it's honestly just a calm before the storm and if this were any other book fire and sand would've fucked

chapter 21

do you think the fact that cinderpelt never really got many omens from starclan is cus she was never "meant" to be a med cat? which could've been an interesting exploration into the idea of fate and the consequences of deviating from a star written path...anyways

I should write something about that. not I'm the rewrite tho fates a little funky in that universe I think

I honestly think that they should have ramped up the terror for this battle by having the cats talk about how starclan gave tigerstar nine lives, so does that mean they support him, is that a bad omen for the battle, that sorta thing

and also had a good reason for them giving him his lives but I've complained enough about that

the way they describe cats using their tails to flick shoulders makes it seem like everyone has obscenely long tails

okay so heres something I've been thinking about. fourtrees is described as being in a hollow, so its a dip in the ground. that said...how does it not flood like on the fucking regular? unless theres a place it drain out of but god who knows they have such a weird way of describing the territories

the way tigerstar just screams out "fool" is so fucking goofy

idk man theres like no weight to tigerstar the dude isnt even that scary a villain imo. theres nothing compelling or interesting about him and I feel absolutely fuck all watching him yelling and name calling because hes not getting his way

also I think its fucking wild that firestar saw scourges collar and was like "oh telling him that tigerstar killed people will definitely sway this dude"

tho at least the forest cats know what tigerstar did

anyways I love tigerstars death sequence but I definitely feel it could have a bit more oomph...put that in my list of shit to spruce up lol

#fatal reads warriors

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love4hobi · 3 years

Note

Okay this is gonna be long but I wanted to respond and put my 2 cents in about ur asks u got yesterday and discussion over bts recent music....okay so I read somehwere (I forget) that PTD was like their end to the trilogy thing of songs they were doing in that type of genre / English thing...Idk if that’s 100% true but it can give hope. Imo I actually liked butter and stuff PTD was just straight up bad but I liked butter and dynamite...is it their best work clearly not close but it wasn’t bad like PTD😭😭 also as I’ve been a fan for so fucking long (2015) I can say that for 2020-2021 bts KEEPS their success bc they’re such great perofmorers and bring it everytime despite the current music they’re releasing...(my opinion...) like I rememebr watching festa room live and being like holy shit they’re so good what the fuck and then realizing they were performing like all old b sides besides 2 songs😭😭 idk. To me they still perform and put on top level stages and that’s what keeps me interested and a fan to this day...also idk if you liked MOTS and persona but I liked both ...and BE was an okay album to me (not their best but come on KDKDKDKDKDKDD) also I think we as fans need to expect that every artist has their peak. Like there’s so many western rock /alt bands that I’m in love with their albums and then they release shit I don’t like after being together for like a decade and I just have to accept they reached their peak musically but am able to look back at their work they have done and still love them for what they did and released. Idk. I think bts can still bring it back musically as the time period of 2020-2021 isn’t that long in my opinion. Yes it’s been their worst year musically but it’s been like a year since dynamite so it hasn’t been THAT long. I think it feels like a long ass time tho so I get it....I’m giving them a lot of room and you obviously can disagree I’m just stating my opinion lol!! Cuz I do agree that PTD sucked and hybe is stupid...I mean take a look at what p dogg said a month ago when he said that it’s sad that bts songs are getting so incredibly short and the rap line can’t show their skills anymore to cater to the market and to check out their other music...(literally say that shit like word for word basically in a YouTube video....) like does this man (their long time producer) expressing these worries seirously have 0 say??? Like it really seemed like he is bummed about their recent shit too and bts are rich so you’d think they’d put their foot down and say no to anything...but I agree with you about how they’ve been grinding nonstop for 8 years and maybe they’re just fucking tired. Like it’s understandable. Anyway, I agree that this years music has been lacking (and honestly I lowkey feel that way about all kpop AT the moment)....like txt is the only group imo that is releasing good music right now...not to drag anyone else but twice disappointed me this year and nct and skz too 😭😭 but you know!! It is what it is!!! Back to bts tho, I personally still love them bc of their body of work that they have done and their stage performances and probably will feel that way for a long time. Idk, I’ve experience this with so many bands so it doesn’t shock me that much. Like for ex the band arctic monkeys had a perfect discography for me then they released an ass album and it sucked and I just accepted that maybe they just reached their peak 😭😭 idk...this was super long but oof

oh hmm i havent heard that about the trilogy but that certainly would be nice,, but then the coldplay collab is pretty much basically confirmed at this point and thatll probably be mostly if not all in english 🙄 and omg yes ur so right performing is definitely one of their biggest strong suits especially on tours whenever i go back and rewatch old concerts its just like theres no one else like them like theres lots of great performers in kpop but theres just something special about them altogether as a group!! and the thought and effort they put into end of the year stages always blows me away, but yea also smaller things like the festa room live are so nice,, they just work so well together on every level. but i do see what ur saying about them peaking cus yea i loved black swan and on and i could see how that would feel hard to top, but idk yea like i said in another ask they might just be tired and i think if they dont put out anything that great in the next year or two i feel like they might be able to get back together sometime after enlistement once theyve hopefully been a little ✨rejuvenated✨ and had time to rest n just live their lives for a bit (and bighit has hopefully moved on to txt and the new gg a bit more) and finally be able to to do something thats more them and just fits what they actually want to be doing at that point in their careers. but omg yea exactly what u said abt pdogg it kinda rly sucked to hear him say exactly what i was thinking in that vid and for His opinion to still not even have an effect on anything :( but also yea like you said and ive said in some other asks the pandemic has affected the music quality of a lot of groups/artists and theres always hope that things will get back to normal afterwards or maybe they really have peaked unfortunately theres no way to know we just have to wait n see ig :/

#mail #negativity #but i rly dont know if im ready to let them go yet ive never loved an artist so much and so much of their discography before 😭

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1-800-get-sherlocked · 3 years

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this was supposed to be an incorrect quote but it spiraled out of control

note: im american idk if yall brits have cuties (kidding im sure ur all cuties ok im sorry i couldnt resist) but i really had to alright pls be-ryllium ar-gon with me yes im sorry we are revisiting chem lads dont worry i will provide you translations/i will make it obvious also theres switching povs & im telling you ahead of time: the puns are very, very bad

also i wrote this at like late 5am un-beta-ed so please forgive me for any mistakes, i have 0.5 braincells left and i used up 0.279 for academic papers

kind of a crackfic btw

ok without further ado bc i ramble too much, other notes at the end:

*on Valentine’s Day*

John woke up to the sound of clinking and the faint sound of rustling of papers, the other side of the bed empty and cold. Ah, probably on that experiment again with those oranges he said were also a good pet name for me. What was it again? Right, cuties. A small smile appeared on John’s unshaven face. His hubby was too endearing for his own good sometimes.

In the kitchen, Sherlock paced back and forth, eyeing his failed experiment with disdain. Which he was totally worrying more about rather than whether his plan would work. Would John like these? Maybe he should have just gone with George’s advice and went to get some takeout Angelo’s like they often did during quarantine, but Sherlock wanted to make this special. He nervously adjusted his shirt collar, looking down to check that he was indeed wearing the purple shirt John loved so much. Apparently it was called the purple shirt of sex or something? The detective honestly had no idea how or why but that wasn’t important, what was important was John. John. He still couldn’t believe the brilliant, patient, and gorgeous army-doctor was....his husband. After the drunk night they had that one day, things got a bit heated and...well, you could say they definitely had a good time and cleared up their feelings for each other, much to Donovan’s chagrin who lost Scotland Yard’s bet by just a week. Mrs. Hudson was the winner, obviously.

Thank god for Mrs. Hudson’s and Gavin; he didn’t know what he would do without both of them giving him advice, though the DI wasn’t always pleased to be summoned in the middle of a case to help Sherlock out.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Sherlock scanned his surroundings to make sure everything was in place. Ah, he could now hear John about to step into the aisle, right on time. Quickly, Sherlock went back to pretending he was working on his experiment.

Just a few moments later, John padded into the kitchen, clean shaven, and as expected, looked at Sherlock pointedly. Of course, the detective was used to this and promptly ignored it, waiting for John to say something.

“Sherlock,” John said, tilting his head to the side a bit, “What is going on here? Why are there little sticky notes all over the place?”

Sherlock simply shrugged. “Why don’t you go take a look for yourself, John? I’m sure you would be able to find out that way.”

Sighing, John went back into the living room and perused the various bright colored sticky notes. Sherlock’s scratchy handwriting was on all of them, along with small drawings on some. Stepping closer, John took the first one off the wall above the couch and read the note out loud:

“Jawn, you’re small and angy, just like the bunch of Copper (Cu) Tellurium (Te) Iodine (I) Einstieinium (Es) we got the other day. Will you be my clemenvalentine?” Belatedly, John noticed a small orange drawn next to it, with a small >:[ face. Sherlock still wasn’t going to let him ever live it down, huh?

Shaking his head with the faintest hint of a smile crossing John’s expression, he moved on to the next one.

“John, the first time we met and dined at Angelo’s, I said girlfriends weren’t really my area. What I really wanted to say was that I was Gallium (Ga) Yttrium (Y), John. Obviously, I am married to my work and love of my life now, but would you still be my Valentine again, for the 11th time?” This one was written in rainbow ink, probably one of those pens Rosie got for Sherlock, insisting that he would have some use for them someday. Which he did, evidently.

As John picked up more and more notes strewn around the room, and read more and more puns, some of his favorites being, “Forget Hydrogen–you’re my number one element” and “Why don’t we go back to the bedroom and form a covalent bond ;) Or we could do it on the table, periodically” he didn’t know whether he should have laughed or cried. Maybe both. Some were so bad they were hilarious but the fact that they were that bad just made it more funny and endearing. Oh Sherlock, where would I bee without you? who would I be without you?

Oh god, John realized with horror. Sherlock’s terrible puns were rubbing off him and invading his thoughts. Typical of him, that bloody cute charismatic arse.

Finally, John reached the last one.

“John, I know I’m not very good with expressing my affection for you, but I want you to know, especially today, that Iodine (I) Lutetium (Lu) Vanadium (V) Uranium (U). You are my best friend, my lover, my husband, and my lifelong partner. You’ll always be my doctor and blogger at heart.” On the side, a small smiley face was drawn.

The entire time, John knew Sherlock’s eyes were on him, even though he pretended to be busy with his experiment. The doctor knew those telltale signs: tense shoulders coupled with a nervous biting of his lip. Watching closely, trying to gauge his reaction after reading all of them.

“Sherlock, were you trying to test my chemistry knowledge again? You know it’s been awhile since I’ve studied all this, right?”

Of course, Sherlock knew this. Sherlock always knew but was somehow still an oblivious idiot. My oblivious idiot, John thought affectionately.

“Well yes but I-” a beat. Sherlock took a deep breath. “Well, it’s always you making plans for Valentine’s, and I thought, maybe I should take charge this time, with something other than Angelo’s–don’t worry, I’ve already ordered takeout for dinner, I know you love their food, John, so I still did it. But I wanted to do more for you this time. Mrs. Hudson and Rosie agreed it would help me express myself better, so I tried it out. Um-” Sherlock stopped mid sentence as John walked up to him, and put a finger over those pouty lips.

“Sherlock, you amazing, adorable, gorgeous man, you’re so cute, you know that? And I did in fact notice your shirt–we will be making use of that later, obviously.” The detective gulped visibly. “But for the record, I want you to know that I know how much you love me, and you know how much I love you, so don’t ever feel bad about having trouble expressing it verbally; I can always tell through the small thoughtful gestures you do for me and the looks you throw my way when you think I can’t see. What you did for me today was very sweet, and it made my day–I will always cherish this memory on this Valentine’s, but I can assure you my love for you will never change no matter what, whether or not you do gestures like this for me. My love is of the same magnitude as yours to mine, and it never stops growing everyday”

Sherlock beamed, that charming crooked grin of his slowly spreading across his face, and John pulled him down for a kiss, both laughing against each other’s lips lightly as their mouths clumsily crashed together.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

#my posts #my post #my writing #johnlock #sherlock bbc #fics #my fics #johnlock fics #also this is technically my first fic? i wrote a small drabble for another fandom beforre but uh #yeah #so please forgive me if it's not very good #i would love comments! tell me about stuff you like/don't like!#i stayed up till 7 writing this oops #instead of writing analysis for my data project due tomorrow or technicallyt oday lmfao #anyways #i hope u enjoyed reading my brainrot #also 0.279 was not a mistake #i chose it on purpose #i didnt read through this after writing this so i apologize for any mistakes #i'll fix them tomorrow or somethng i mean techncally today #ajsadlkf anyways yea ok iim kinda scared but my 7am brain is shameless so here we go #oh no it is light outsde now oops #prob coulda come up wth better puns but like i said my braincells almost out of stock xD

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gutterballed · 3 years

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Statement of Timothy Stoker on the disappearance and subsequent.... replacement of persons Jonathon Sims and Martin Blackwood. Statement taken to direct from subject, recorded by subject. Recording from July 2, 2021.

Statement begins.

Foregoing formalities, Jon, I think the worst part of it all?

I already knew.

You know?

Like, it doesn't take a genius to put the pieces together. Martin being so protective of you is normal, but Martin being hostile to everyone, not so much. He was too much, and he was too guilty. Offered to tell me so many times, and he kept coming on about it -- and I know how he is with your secrets. Rats you out the first opportunity.

But "you deserve to know" "one day I'll tell you" "it's.... complicated Tim" sure. Just say you did this.

So Martin did it.

And, Martin is new. I don't know him, for sure. You're both weird, and not right, and fuck me for enjoying that, huh? You're DEFINITELY new. I know it's not unheard of for you to come back hurt, but missing an eye, and suddenly your eyes are freaky? I know neither of you were particularly trying to HIDE that you weren't the original versions of yourself, but. Yeah.

And im not stupid, what can Martin do?

What's he GOT?

He wouldn't kill someone, not himself.

He'd do it somehow else, someway to-

[An echoing scuffle is heard in the distance and there is silence, the gentle wheeze of lungs trapped in dusty tunnels for too long]

[Click]

Okay. Sorry, that was Basira. She was looking for.... something.

Maybe me.

Who knows.

If it is me, she's one of the people I'm out here for, so I'm certainly not making it easier for her to find me.

Anyways. Yeah, Martin wouldn't be the one who killed someone with his hands. Not that he's not capable, I think all of us are at this point, just that he's not the sort to actually do it with his hands. And it's Jon, even a different him, I don't think he could bring himself to do it. I don't think he even COULD. Like, physically.

So, whats left if you take away the physical kill them?

Of course they're in the lonely.

Of course. I'm not stupid, Jon. And Martin! If he's telling you this, or if you're somehow cued in too, I'm not dumb. Fuck, neither of you are even a little capable of hiding shit from us, when it's like this. Maybe Basira, but she hardly counts. Half expect she knew too, and just wouldn't tell me. Having too much fun dragging me around at all hours of the night hunting them down.

But, no, I knew. And when Martin said it wasn't Jon, I knew then too. And in a million guilty stares I knew. I knew.

But I didn't want to.

Is that so much? And, God, is it so much to ask that you not get kidnapped Jon? For even ten minutes can you not get in trouble? Because this time I don't think I can help you. If you ever once talked to me maybe I could, but you always have to do it fUck-

[Click]

[A shaky breath]

.... you always have to do it alone. Every time.

Jon...

Oh, Jon. Jon what are we going to do now? You looked so bad, Jon.

You're so far gone. And, Jon if you're listening, I know he can't hear me.

...God I was right there... I wanted to hug you, mate. You couldn't even see me. I wanted to hold you, keep you aware and alive.

Hilarious that I still get like this with you. Like we're in college again. We're adults now, it's not my JOB to make sure you're not smart mouthing the wrong jock just because you know more than him.k Christ, you know, I wish I were there! It's ridiculous, I couldn't even DO anything, but I keep thinking that I could handle being lost, if we were lost together. Maybe we could.... find him.

We couldn't. I know we couldn't.

But, maybe just me would be enough? For a bit?

It's not.

You two have something going on that I don't think I'd ever understand.

I've been planning for it either way, though. I don't think Martin is an option, and I don't want to try my chances with Peter. Theres this woman I've been stalking down, I don't think she's strong enough though. Really shows you the nepotism of it all with Martin. But it may have to be her, I doubt Peter would actually send me to The Lonely, what with how close he is to Elias.

If Elias hasn't killed me yet, he's got something for me. Or he just knows Jon isn't enough, and Martin's barely eye. Basira is a fine hunter, but shite for what he needs. Daisy, God, she's barely even alive.

Needs me, I think.

Or he expected me to die when I did for them.

That's funny.

Jon, did you know I died?

Christ, you must have been bad.

Hah..... so. I'm giving a statement. I know you hate rambling statements, but to be fair you can't hear me. So even.

So, Martin and Jon got replaced. Somewhere around April, because I gave a statement about how I didn't die the 27th. They've since been... affectionate, if you invite them. They've been borderline pleasant, but suspicious all the same. Last week Martin gave up the ruse, and told me what happened to them. And for anyone who found this- fuck you.

Fuck you for finding my stash, fuck you for listening, fuck you for being here.

An unabashed, fuck. You.

Also, if you haven't understood what happened yet, Martin Blackwood is a follower of The Lonely. I don't know about avatar yet, but I'd say he's close. He's... really close.

Hes also one of my closest friends, and a coworker, fellow Archival Assistant to The Archivist, head archivist to The Magnus Institute. Somewhere in April, a different Martin Blackwood came to our universe, from an adjacent one where Jon had fucked everything up for EVERYONE, and he took both my Martin, and my Jon, and stuck them in The Lonely. Which means he's much more powerful than my Martin.

Probably.

Don't like that, still, but okay.

These two replaced them, and took their place. He confessed as much to me last week.

Following this I asked if I could see them, later, at work. After work, he agreed. He brought me to see them, first Jon, second Martin. They both were very clearly gone. Barely human, barely had faces anymore. They were all wisp, fog falling from their mouths to feed whatever this was. You both looked... bad. I don't think either of you even recognized I was there. That I was saying anything.

To Jon I told him about how I got lost in Helen's halls that first time. Michael's halls, really. How we were there for weeks, how we meandered, how it was hell. I know you didn't hear this one, so I'm not repeating it. It's none of your business.

To Martin I.... confessed.

To him?

Weird, when I have to turn around and face Martin? So I guess sorry for sort of confessing to your boyfriend. Again, I'm not telling you. Just feels a bit shite, considering our friendship.

That's my statement.

And, it's my final one.

I'm sure I fed Martin plenty with all of these, and now I'm positive you never heard a single one. I told you so much more than I ever thought I'd tell anyone and you didn't hear a single one. You didn't.

I've wasted my time, and wish I could say I wasted yours but you didn't have time to waste in the first time.

So thanks.

For doing this.

I'm going to keep lying about doing research until I get sick enough to go back up, and im going to try to not get spotted when I do. Drop off some of the information I haven't been sharing and see how that makes me feel. If it's not enough, I'll figure something out. As of right now, Basira is positive I've figured something out for our ongoing investigation into Jon and Martin, and I'm not... sure if I should tell her.

So, im hiding. From Jon and Martin, who I just don't want to see. From Basira who wants to know what I found. From Elias, who keeps staring at me. I might put in for my vacation days, I've accrued a good amount by now, that might be nice.

Ask Elias to not tell Martin. Don't want to hear the smarmy reminder that he probably already knows.

I'm.... trying not to be lonely.

So, bye Jon. I'm sorry you're lost.

And if you find him, can you tell Martin I miss him? You two aren't dating for ME so can you tell him I was... being honest? That I love him? Play wingman for me for having recorded all these useless statements?

End of statement.

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tsukidotcom · 4 years

Text

Haikyuu HC to COVID-19 (Karasuno edition)

This is horrible 💀 im just so bored so I made whatever this mess is KFJSJDMSK enjoy

Hinata Shouyou

huh? isn’t it just the flu?

“No, hinata. People have died from it-“

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH-

goes bananas

whenever someone sneezes or coughs, his soul leaves his body as he runs away to sanitize/wash his hands for a miserably long time.

eats an expired can of peaches thinking it’s his last resort

lowkey happy school is closed because homework sucks

but also highkey hates it because now all volleyball tournaments are closed

then gets all angry when he realizes he’d have to do online school???!!?? like wtf he got jipped.

thinks they could still do volleyball if they did online calls cus if the school can do it,, then vOLLEYBALL CAN

will probably miss half of the class calls from oversleeping/forgetting anyway.

sheepishly ask yamaguchi, yachi or tsukishima for help on assignments/notes. (he will NEVA ask kageyama. he’s always in competition with him here!)

still practices volleyball 24/7 in his backyard or room (maybe even with his baby sister??)

He’s really good at practicing all by himself from practicing all alone in middle school—

but will probably go crazy being alone all the time with his family. he just wants to play volleyball with the team again.

looks up “what to do when you’re bored” or “what to do at home while in quarantine” on youtube

Kageyama Tobio

probably says he’s immune to the corona because he’s just better than everyone else

doesn’t really think it’s real until school shut down because of it

When he sees that corona is airborne he wont know what that means so he’d probably think it’s produced by air itself?? which makes him think air is trying to kill the human race?? and will be so confused as to why it decided to pop up now???

DESPISES online school. He had enough trouble understanding it from the gecko, so now he has to learn it basically all by hiMSELF?!?

And no way is he just gona email the teacher for help. If he does it’s gonna be only once in his lifetime. Anymore than that he thinks he’s doin too much. He doesn’t want his teachers thinking he’s dumb 😭

he says literally nothing during the calls he just tries to pay attention? and fails because he’s on a computer. in his room. alone. he’s bound to daze off or stare at a pen for 5 minutes.

Obvi still practices volleyball. Very much misses it. At least Hinata had his sibling to practice with him. tobio is a lone wolf in his household.

When his mom goes out to get groceries he gives her one of those doctor masks so she doesn’t catch corona.

Few moments later through the internet he realizes that corona is smaller than air molecules so if you can breathe through something you could still get it so he struggles for an hour thinking he just killed his mother

When his mom is back he keeps his distance in case she’s carrying the plague

omg did she just cough or am i imagining things no she definitely coughed she has corona oh oh god

In reality she was just clearing her throat.

is lowkey worrying about everyone and how they are 🥺 (yes, maybe even hinata).

thinks he’s science smart by calling it covid-19 than corona.

Asahi Azumane

He just worries about everyones health

like he just imagines the worst case scenario’s and starts to get really worried if people got it. Always checks on everyone and asks if they’re feeling any symptoms of corona ❤️

He’s either not gonna get it or he gets it and dies there’s no inbetween

but he’s jesus himself so theres no way he nor anyone in his bloodline can get it

is very happy to know that dogs can’t get it.

Takes online school seriously and tries his best

And is honestly so sad school just ended??? even if it’s temporary, he could be learning, playing volleyball, and going about his day instead of staying in a cage. he’s a third year so—how would graduation even go..?

always is up to date on the news !! and notifies everyone if anything important is added/changed.

Always tells everyone to stay safe! Whether through text or before ending a call.

only buys a lot of toilet paper from the fear of there being no toilet paper in stock since evERYONE IS BUYING IT-

Starts to try new hobbies that he put off for the longest time cus quarentine is rlly getting to him.

Is all out a family guy so he doesn’t mind the extra time with his family.

Nishinoya Yu

OAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOA

420 blazin’

thinks going outside means you’re instantly gonna die from corona attacking your white blood cells (????)

but also probably doesnt care as he goes outside like everyday to run around and get rid of energy (and to practice volleyball, of course).

also why is it called white blood cells when blood is red ☠️ smh

Buys 101611018320129 bags of chips because that’s his comfort food

yay more gaming time!!!

Noya🐒: Tanaka do u wana play minecraft 2getr latr?

Tanaka🍌: HELL YEAH!!

doesn’t shower for three days straight because screw personal hygiene!! No more school!!! Can do whatever he wanted!! It’s basically summer!!!

until he’s forced to do online school.

Is def the class clown. Probably somehow kicks the teacher out of the call through a little bit of hacking.

“alright guys so i’ll be you’re substitute teacher for the day-“

tbh acts the same as he would in school. maybe a little more rebellious because, i mean, what is the teacher gonna do? send him to DETENTION? call his mOMMY?

Calls/spams literally everyone in his contacts because he’s so bored and lonely. Answer him!! Y’all will be on facetime for hours!!

He’s fun to facetime.

Will call you a loser if you don’t have an apple iPhone because then he can’t facetime you and facetiming is one of his favorite things to do to pass time (besides gaming)

HE A TRUE GAMER

Okay but he lowkey still tries at school for the sake of his grades and his future ;-; maybe calls asahi or sugawara for help??

always looks up his homework on the internet to see if he can get an answer key or something (he did that anyway even before corona but)

will do one subject for 3 hours thinking he’s finally done with everythinf till he realizes he has like 4 other subjects and needs to do those too.

Sending memes all the time

Tsukishima Kei

oh, what about corona again?

honestly could give NO fucks??. like ABSOLUTELY ZERO. nonxistent.

doesn’t even remember it’s still happening half the time.

is surprisingly very knowledgeable about corona.

he’s just smart and sciency¿ so he understands the ins and outs of corona like how it works and how its spread.

so if you tRULY want any update or background info on the corona virius, ask Tsukishima.

bitch don’t touch me you have rabies.

doesn’t care that he’s obligated to stay at home because he would have stayed either way. he very much likes being alone.

might go a little crazy cooped up in his room so he’ll hang with his brother/family or go outside before he says ‘okay that’s enough’ and goes back to his room.

isolation? oh okay *puts on headphones*

he rlly gonna be rocking it out in his room cus he can listen to music all day any day

developes a really bad sleep schedule since he had no way to get rid of the energy he got rid of at school.

still a huge tease so he says everyone has the corona virius.

is never online on social media which means he’s never up to date with his frIENDS. Doesn’t have a clue what those dipshits are doing and could care less (besides yamaguchi,, they probably facetime or call thru skype or something).

I bet the whole volleyball squad has a groupchat and honestly he puts all notifs on mute cus his phone keep goin DING DING DING DI DING ID DID IDKNG DING DIG

Brother: Omg why are you getting so many text messages?

Tsukki: Shut up

if he is online on the gc and he texts it would be simple replies like “Hi” “Okay.” “No.” “Goodbye.” and then he’s gone for another week

every first year is begging on their knees for tsukishima to give the answers or help them out and he obviously says: go do the hw yourselves idiots

besides yamaguchi!!!! again!! cus theyre gay for each other

maybe practices once in awhile with his brother or alone in his backyard but he doesn’t care

Tanaka Ryuunosuke

buys 101817 pounds of toilet paper because everyone else is? but not because of the same reason as asahi. he thinks toilet paper is the cure to corona.

GO STUPID AAAAAAAAA GO CRAZY AAAAAAAAAAA-

probably has a part time job at a grocery store so he still has to go to work 😭 i dont even know how he could have a job in the first place he’s probably always late-

still gamin with noya of course

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM IM PLAYING MINECRAFTT

also buys like all the junk food thats in stock. and since he works at the grocery store he gets a ton of coupons and deals.

texts Kiyoko everyday goodmorning ❤️❤️❤️ and goodnight 😘😘 texts just to be left on read.

“i love it when she ignores me !!!”

scrolls through tiktoks for 1000 hours to pass time

School Is For Losers!!

similar to noya, he thought it was basicaly summer until he realized they were gonna be doing online school. literally had a fit and said he didnt wanna do jack squAt

Laughs so hard when nishinoya somehow kicks the teacher out of the call he’s like laughing so loud and hard he starts crying

all of the sudden has a better view on school

gets excited when he sees nishinoya on the call

makes funny and ugly ass faces when the teacher isn’t looking. everyone laughs and the teacher’s like 🤨

probably uses the green screen effect so he can change hus background (somehow) and accidentally misclicks a file so a girl wit a bikini becomes his background for .5 seconds before changing it to a cursed meme:

doesn’t get half the shit the teacher is talking about

but it’s okay because the half he doesn’t get is the other half noya gets

and the half noya doesnt get is the orher half tanaka gets

they’re two peas in a pod 🥰

until they try explaining it to each other and suddenly get confused?? mental malfunction ¿?

yeah im SMART!!!

s -

m -

a -

r - penis

t -

Daichi Sawamura

quite calm about the whole coronavirus

like he knows it is serious and understands how it is spread but he’s still calm about it??

tells everyone to sanitize and wash hands on a regular. and social distancing!!

honestly still wakes up like he does on normal school days and does all his academics just fine.

he even does gym activities (besides volleyball) for 30 minutes to an hour!!!! he be running on that treadmil! getting stronk!

does each subject on his own for 20-40 min each day. he’s really good at self discipline

makes sure sugawara and asahi are up to date on school work and will gladly help.

sadly can’t help the first years (and probably second years) because that info is deep in his brain and basically forgot how to do it after a year or two of not using it.

VERY VERY VERY sad that volleyball nationals are cut off. this is his last year and for it to be??? gone??? just because of some flu?!?! hates it.

he wishes school to go back and still has hope that school will go back to normal in a couple of weeks (even though it’s a slim chance).

asks the teacher questions whenever he has questions. He’s also vv considerate so he’ll ask questions he knows the answer to but asks them for anyone who’s confused ab it/wants to ask but is too shy. (literally i lov daichi sm)

Eats a healthy amount of everything

asks asahi for any updates on corona even though he’s quite up to date himself. he just wanna make sure he didn’t miss anything.

also doesn’t mind being around his family. he’ll do more chores around the house to help his parents out :> he’s literally perfect wtf

def does worry about everyone in the volleyball gc and anyone else he has contact with. Will also email classmates and ask if they’re doing all right. Even away from volleyball he’s a team player ☺️✌️

Is happy for the rest of the day when asahi tells him dogs can’t get corona.

Yamaguchi Tadashi

oaoaiquqhdkoaiaagadjsiwi?

doesn’t know what to believe anymore

keeps in touch with everyone!! always online 24/7 on social media, vball gc, you name it.

Literally everyone is acting so normal why are people so calm am i the only one worrying about this and the worlds future like this year has been really bad so far for not just me but the whole nation actually the entire world honestly like war almost broke out in january and now this corona stuff is really buttering my crissont the wrong way-

Even though tsukishima literally gives No Fucks, yamaguchi is the complete opposite.

like tsukki and yamaguchi call on skype and eVERY TIME yamaguchi starts with ‘how have you been? do you feel sick at all? have you drank enough water today?’ and so on

“What are you even worrying about?”

“Well...what if you get the corona virius?... it can be deadly, you know!! Thousands of people have died from it!!! The fact school is shutting down and people are panicking is making me feel like i should be panicking-“

Tsukki will then snarkily reassure him it’s fine and people their age are the least likely to get it bad.

Yamaguchi will feel a little better afterwords

“Thank you, Tsukki!”

Tsukki will ‘tch’ it off

Even though he gets really good grades he has triuble finding motivation to do any school work?? doing school work in his own home? 😐

His home was kinda a place he can chill whereas school is a place he can be fully focused

but now his home is ALSO school??!!?

Luckily he understands the work, at least.

When he sees tsukishima on the call, too, he instantly says hello.

“Tsukki!! Hey!! 😁”

“Shut up.”

“Gomen, Tsukki.”

Yeah. Even when they aren’t at school, he’s still the same as always.

He takes extra care of his family and always stays in touch with other relatives. Especially grandpa and grandma. THE SECOND he learned elderly people are at more risk you bet your ass he’s calling them making sure they’re okay. He checks up on them everyday now.

He peobably practices volleyball a little, too. He’s more focused on schoolwork though.

Sugawara Koushi

Have you guys ate dinner yet? 🥺

obviously checking up on everyone

he would fail as a mother if he didn’t.

Actually reads in his free time?? He finally has time on his hands to read these books so.... here we are!

Wakes up at a scheduled time everyday (minus weekends. Maybe sleeps for an extra hour or so).

He dresses in pjs rather than actual clothes because he’s not going anywhere with this social distancing thing.

Always tries to lighten the mood when all the students are on the online call. Maybe crack some joke or innocently play around with the effects.

He still pays close attention in class and does quite well on his own. No help from his parents! He can do everything on his own! He a big boi!

Does homework really well, too. Probably does extra work or more work than needed just because it makes him feel good afterwords.

Honestly i can see him cooking in his free time. If he doesnt feel like reading or scrolling mindlessly through his phone, he gonna cook.

Will make the best cookies in the universe.

HAS A HECK OF A SWEET TOOTH. NOT A DAY GOES BY WITHOUT HIM GETTING HIS PRETTY HANDS ON SUM TREAT

Honestly isn’t too good with exercise so he might gain a few pounds or grow the smallest chub 🥺🥺🥺 he would be so cute omfg.

is realy involved with his family!! they play a board/card game every friday night and have the best time.

if he has a dog, cat, or literally any animal you know he’s gona be hanging with them since he has more time.

Still! Playing! Volleyball! I mean by now every boy is practicing at least a little bit. He would probably be in his backyard playing volleyball with his family. Theyy’d set up a net and everythin! They’re all rookies at it but he still cherishes the moments with them.

It’s honestly still practice. Better than nothing

He talks about how his family plays volleyball and everyone is so jealous like 😭😭 makes him more grateful hearing half the volleyball team saying they have to practice alone.

Watching youtube videos of random videos/vines making him giggling.

“Hey, Dachi, look at this video.”

IS A SWEETHEART STFU !!!

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tobacconist · 4 years

Text

my house got hit with a nasty strike of bad luck last night, all at once, i think around one o clock till about half past; i blame the full moon in scorpio (i believe saturn, venus, and pluto were retrograde at the time too. not sure if they still are)

i didnt feel like writing it at the time because i was too upset

had a really good day before then too. dads been depressed recently and wed sat out in the sunshine n had a smoke n laugh. we played dominoes later on.

ill say it started with my dad gettin absolutely wankered, like really fuckin drunk n stoned, the kind of wankered where you think youre completely fine but you aint and you wont listen to anyone telling you to sit the fuck down or go to bed

anyway, mum went to bed about 11, told us both to get to bed early (because she is the only sensible person in this house) dad said he was going soon after he’d finished his wine (like he does every night) but he filled his glass a few more times and stayed up.

eventually he went to bed, i told him not to keep coming down to pester me and that id go soon after. of course he came down a few times (its like an incredibly unfunny farce every night) to eat crisps and drunkenly ask me why i wasnt in bed ‘give me some fuckin peace and i’ll likely go to bed sooner!’ i said its a farce

i was trying to think about designing an expanded dominoes set which also functions as a jenga set, and perhaps could be used as some kind of analog calculator a bit like an abacus. i was looking up variations on the game of dominoes and thinking about the esoteric significance of the game

of course i couldnt think about it in peace for long, cus dad came down once again to ask me why i wasnt in bed yet ‘because you wont let me have any fucking peace to think!’ i said ‘the sooner you go to bed the sooner i go to bed!’ it really is like this every fuckin night

‘alright, alright, im going to bed. dont be too long’ he said. then i heard the dog coming down the stairs ‘fuck sake! dont wake mum up for fuck sake, she’ll come down and yell at both of us!’ i thought then he said (to the dog) ‘oh, do you need a wee?’ n then i got a real bad feeling that i couldnt really place, like everything was going to suddenly go wrong.

i hide his wineglass because for fuck sake if he comes back downstairs im not gonna get any peace hes bumblin around makin a load of noise, then he shuts the door so i presume the dogs inside.

then he comes to me! asking me where the dog is, i say ‘didnt you just let him out? is he inside?’ he shouts to my poor mother, who is just trying to sleep ‘is the dog up there with you!’ she yells back ‘NO! YOUVE JUST LET HIM OUTSIDE YOU STUPID BASTARD!’ or words to that effect. she’s really angry and im like ‘hhhhhhhhhh fuck sake’

i start panicking, for personal insane paranoid reasons (basically a picture of my dog taken that day had a strange lense flare from the sun that, sorta, yknow in the film the omen where they take a picture but theres a weird streak on it and then later the person gets impaled by a huge steel beam. looked sort of like a downward swung scythe to me. praying its just the light, but yeah i got really paranoid.) so i was suddenly like ‘holy shit holy shit is something going to happen to my dog’, i grab my torch and sprint into the garden with my shoes on the wrong feet. i hear my dog suddenly yelp and im genuinely prepared for the worst.

mum had come downstairs now and was yelling like fuck at my dad, who was barely lucid, like, not even understanding why she was angry, and that jus made her angrier)

thankfully, my dog was okay. hed found a hedgehog in the garden, once again, and was once again trying to beat it up and play with it. i grab his collar and send him back inside. i look at the hedgehog. its all curled up, and i can see that its bleeding. its breathing still though, breathing really heavily. i half cover my torch so as not to frighten it any more and watch it for a bit.

i go back into the kitchen and my mum asks whats wrong, i hesitate for a moment and then tell her dog was being nasty to a hedgehog. i should tell you that hedgehogs are my mums favourite animals, she collects ornaments and paintings of hedgehogs. she really loves them

i dont really know what to do, so i go to the fridge and get an egg and crack it half open, i go back outside and leave it nearby. i notice that mums come outside too, and she asks where it is. i dont want to scare it anymore by getting too close so i just shine the torch on it for a few seconds and point out where its bleeding.

we go back inside, now both feeling really sad. dad is wandering around the house demanding to know where his wine glass is not at all aware of whats happened. mum says shes gonna go for a cig and then try to go back to bed.

i shut the dog in the back room with the curtains closed, i only do that when hes really bad. was too sad even to yell at him. left him in there on his own for atleast an hour an d a half. really disappointed in him. i hope he realises what he did was bad, and i hope he never does it again. hedgehogs are friends.

i went into the living room and sat down and had a drink. dad was still wandering round looking for his wine glass. i say ‘you know the dog just really hurt a hedgehog’ he says ‘dont tell me that right now, i dont want to hear it. where have you put my wine glass!??’ hes just madly looking around calling me a thief, i tell him i havent stolen it, just moved it, but hes drunk too much anyway’ this is another another weekly farce.

he finds it eventually, and sits down. my mum comes in the room now, and i can tell she’d been crying. she says maybe we should put it in a cardboard box or something, i say i dont want to disturb or traumatise it anymore, and it wouldnt want to be in our house anyway. we discuss it for a while, dad keeps making suggestions about what takeaways are open or something because hes half asleep and not actually listening to what were saying.

eventually we decide that i’ll check on it in a few hours to see if its still there or dead or what and if its still alive then i’ll put it in a box and see if we can take it to the vets in the morning (not likely, since theyre only open for emergencies atm)

she goes to bed, dad goes a little while after, still smugly talking about how i should be in bed and mumll be upset if im up to late, cus hes completely out of it

then, just as i put youtube on to distract myself, the internet goes down for like 15 minutes.

i jus sit there refreshing the page. it comes back on after a little while.

i idly browse but cant enjoy anything. i think about writing a tumblr post about it (as i am doing now) but it feels wrong at the time.

i open omegle and tell the first person who’ll listen jus to get it off my chest, theyre very kind, and then we idly chat about some shit. i start to feel better.

then i go have a look in the garden; the hedgehog is gone and the egg is unfinished. i dont know if that means a fox got it, or whether it shuffled away somewhere to die or if it was ok and it wandered off thinking ‘never fucking ever coming to this garden again!’ hopefully the last, but thats still sad. i know hedgehogs are pretty resilient animals. i hope it was okay

i let the dog out of the room about 2 because he started scratching at the door. i didnt say anything i just sent him up to bed. he had an ashamed face. i hope he never does it again.

then i stayed on omegle all night until about 6am. stupid thing to do but i felt better after a while.

i feel the evil energy was gone in the morning. the moon has begun to wane and moved into sagittarius. mum seems alright. dont know if dad remembers anything from late last night. im feelin okay, jus real hungover. drank a lot more than i meant to

dont think im gonna proof read this so it might be a bit rambling. jus wanna get it off my chest

#long #long post #jus a string of bad luck all together

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