#i dont think i'll post because i have SOME self consciousness left.

[vriendenboekjes]

damn some people mentioned that they liked the cadence of my poem or that it reads like lyrics and it inspired me to make a little melody to go along with it. I wish i knew how to play something other than folk-type stuff on my guitar because then i’d have pioneered the genre of screamo jazz

#it's perfect for jazz!! it's perfect for screaming!!!! unfortunately i am a beginner guitar player #i dont think i'll post because i have SOME self consciousness left. #that and i sound insane #not in a good way in a get-help kind of way #🌬️

[lotus-flowerz]

Bennett X Reader

TW!!! SUICIDE ATTEMPT, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, SELF HARM MENTIONS

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK AND STAY

SAFE <3

slight spoilers for bennett's vision story

Bennett comforts you after a suicide attempt

a/n- sorry for the lack of posts again, i've been hella busy with school, and also my mental health isn't great

also this is heavily self indulgent bc dont we love suicidal thoughts

You had just been released from Barbara's care in the cathedral earlier. The anger you felt at yourself was unmatched. How had you failed?? Who even found you??

You sat underneath the Windrise tree, pulling apart grass. Scars littered your arms and you didn't fully feel better from your overdose. You honestly didn't even wanna be alive, but alas, here you were. So, you had traveled to the one spot that comforted you.

You were still deep in thought, contemplating trying again, when you heard leaves crunch under someone's footsteps.

"Who's there?" you snapped, your voice hoarse and almost gone from crying and puking up all the pills you had taken. You drew your weapon, ready to strike, when a familiar blonde boy came up behind you.

"Y/n.." he breathed, not sure of what to say.

"Bennett."

You remember now- he was the one who had found you, and carried you to the cathedral, screaming for help at the top of his lungs. That was a week ago- and since you hadn't been allowed visitors, this was your first time seeing each other since then.

Bennett rushed over and threw his arms around you, squeezing you as hard as he could.

You felt tears rush forward, threatening to spill. Bennett pulled away from the hug and put his hands on your shoulders, looking into your eyes.

"Never do that again.. please. Archons- I cannot lose you."

"I'm sorry." you whispered, choking back tears.

"Hey- don't cry! It's alright, I'm here now." he pulled you back into a hug.

"I was going to try again." you whispered.

You felt his grip tighten on you.

"No.. please, Archons, please don't," he pulled away from the hug to wipe your tears away, "Can I tell you a story please?"

You nodded, and he pulled you onto his lap to lay on him. He softly stroked your hair as he began to tell you the story of how he obtained his vision.

"...And I guess I lost consciousness at some point. I knew that I probably wasn't going to make it. I realized as I passed out, that I wanted to live, desperately. But as my eyesight went dark, I knew that was wishful thinking. I had already lost a ton of blood, and I was far from home. But, I woke up. And I woke up holding my vision. And as I gathered my thoughts, I realized something. My vision was glowing in time with my pulse, which signaled that I had survived. My clothes were bloodstained, and the large gash that I had obtained had somehow closed up and left a large scar, but I was alive."

"So you got your vision because of your determination to live?"

"Yeah! And I'll be honest, before that, I genuinely wanted to die. My bad luck was too much and it felt like the world was against me. But as I felt myself dying, I realized that that wasn't what I wanted at all."

"I'm glad you lived." you whispered.

"Me too. And I'm glad you lived as well."

You were silent. Bennett sighed when he realized you weren't fully convinced.

"Right now, you're surviving. One day, you will be living. Can I see your wrist for a second?"

You held it out to him, and you felt his fingers press down in the middle.

"Can you feel that? You're alive. You may be tired, and you may not want to be alive, but your very own pulse is a reminder that you were put here for a reason. You have a purpose, Y/n. You can't die yet because there's so much you haven't done yet."

He released your wrist and instead of lowering it you grabbed his wrist as well.

"Yeah, I'm alive too. Isn't it wonderful? Because I survived my accident and because you survived your attempt to take your life, we're sitting under a tree watching the sunset together. Because we lived. And we will continue to live. And one day, when we're old and our actual time comes, we will be grateful that we survived."

A few tears escaped your eyes again as you realized that he was right. You felt him scoop you up and bring you closer to him. He held you tightly as if you would disappear on him. He wiped more of your tears away and kissed your forehead.

You could hear his heartbeat as he held you tightly. He really was alive. You reached up and cupped his cheek, bringing his face in to kiss him. He kissed you back softly, tears collecting in his own eyes.

"I will continue to live, Bennett. My pulse and your pulse will be my reminder. I am alive, and I deserve to live. Although it may take me time to believe it, someday I will truly live, and not just survive."

He rested his forehead against yours, letting a tear escape from his eye.

"And I will be there with you, every step of the way."

#bennett fluff #bennet hurt/comfort #genshin comfort #genshin fluff #genshin x reader #bennett #bennett genshin impact #bennett x reader