#i dont mean to say that my hobbies are meaningless or stupid or anything like that to be clear. its just that like i used to draw a lot

[sleepygaymerdisease]

ive been thinking. maybe i prioritize drawing stuff a bit too much

#it’s something i do to feel productive but i should be doing a lot of other stuff rn idk 🤔 #at the very least im trying to fix my sleep schedule. and ive been trying to apply to 2 jobs a day. but like huh! i felt really productive #today even though i didnt draw and i think i need to reframe what productivity means in my head. because its a pretty capitalist notion #i dont mean to say that my hobbies are meaningless or stupid or anything like that to be clear. its just that like i used to draw a lot #during classes and stuff to tell myself i was being productive? and relying on that as like. proof that im a smart person or whatever. so im #criticizing my attitude towards art. because in the long term i think defining myself by my hobbies has been a bad idea. i dont have to #prove myself to others. i should be taking care of myself first. #not to keep oversharing but i think ive been depressed for a While and like. idk i should really put more time in talking to ppl? checking #up on friends and family. i want to help people and i think ive thought of that as some faraway goal when i can do that right now. and i #think when i help others i can start to help myself. ill try to wake up early tomorrow again and clean around the house. that usually makes #me kind of angry but i think that i should start scheduling my days again. it really helped me in the dorms to have a checklist of stuff #even though i wouldnt always get the stuff done. and i think that i should start like. planning an entire week instead of going day by day. #give myself some more longterm goals. for example ive been worried about art supplies but i told myself today that i should wait to buy more #until i get a job. and i have some phonecalls to do and i want to cook things and idk. is it dumb to say ive felt a little lost? a lot has #been going on irl and i know i say that all the time but i mean particularly right now. #and i feel like my brain’s been foggy because of it but actually doing stuff today made me feel a lot better. #i still have a lot of stuff to do but i think i can get rid of that anxious overwhelmed depressed feeling one day at a time. at the very #least ill try to clean my room tomorrow. i know that probably sounds like a small thing but like i said a lot of things have felt like too #much. and now i have some motivation. anyway back to drawing. i do have some stuff i plan on drawing of course but i think i should be more #lax instead of treating every drawing like a little project? and that i should give myself the time and the space for irl traditional stuff. #that probably sounds contradictory but i mean like. getting rid of physical clutter (my desk needs to be cleaned off) and mental clutter #(fretting over specific papers/art supplies and costs etc etc.) i also think that ive been purposely a little secretive about what i draw #(not showing wips or telling ppl its contents before i finish) and thats kind of stupid because the anticipation/surprise factor shouldnt #be too big of a deal? for jokes its important sure but i mainly mean like. personal stuff like ocs and things i put more work/time into. i #shouldnt hide it ‘until its ready’ because itll make me anxious. ‘what if they wouldnt like it’ ‘what if its boring’ ‘what if its cringe’ #who fucking cares anymore. its not.. my problem??? i should be enjoying myself???? #oh yeah the original point of this post is actually that i wanted to list the stuff that i want to do but i was also thinkin a lot. so uh #thanks for getting this far. not sure if theres a tag limit actually. anyway. things 2 draw eventually: alisa gave me epic yugioh stickers #and i like the colors so i was thinkin about redrawin/using the color pallets. i keep thinkin about making a game and i want to make mockup #sprites OR focus on locations! :0 i really want to draw little rpg shops u know with someone at the desk and theres all those cool items :)

[soracities]

In my country your grades go from 0 to 20. When I got a 19 my parents used to say "why not 20?" and when i got a 20 they would say "you did nothing more than your job". I was miserable during highschool: my whole personality was constructed around being good at school and all my hobbies were directly tied to it. I got into college with a 19.98 and a complete mental breakdown. Like, full depression, tried to do something very bad mental breakdown.

It took me so long to learn how to like things just because, and how to like things without having to be perfect at them (and that second one is still very tricky: i get a wave of anxiety everytime I try to learn something new and Im not imediatly good at it). And it took me so long to understand that yes, school is important, but

1) school is not the most important thing by far. School is important because being good at it supposedly allows you to have a better job, and therefore more money, and therefore more time and resources to do the things you love. But

1.1) you can get there without school, school is just the most common way to do it, and

1.2) having money and time is meaningless if youre too tired to do anything or if you never developed any interests anyway. Being unhappy to maybe be happy later is stupid. Why not just be happy now.

2) It's all about balance. If the difference between an 18 and a 19 is two extra hours of study, thats ok, I can do it, but if the difference between a 19 and a 20 is three full days spent reading extra material, then its ok not to do it.

3) school does not measure how good you are as a person, or even how smart you are. I believed that for too long because I guess I had too: it was all I had. If I put all that work into school and it didnt mean anything then I wouldnt have anything. But two things:

3.1) I have met some of the smartest people I know here in college, like absolute geniuses when it comes to literature, and they dont have the best grades. Turns out that exams arent the best way of measuring original thoughts or general culture or how you associate different ideas. They just measure how well you memorize stuff and how good you are at understanding what teachers want you to say.

3.2) Im pretty stupid. Like, logical inteligence is off the charts but god am I stupid when it comes to people or day to day things. I burn myself almosy everytime I cook cause Im always touching hot stuff. I dont understand basic social cues and rules. Im pretty self aware but my emotional intelligence is all rooted in rationalizations: i dont understand anything intuitively. I cant drive a car and ill never be able too cause its just too much stuff at the same time. I constantly interpret thing in the most literal way which leads to very akward conversations.

Basically, school is cool but never let it be everything. Do whatever you love and try as hard as you can to be happy. I tried to do it the other way around and I can assure you it doesnt work

thank you so so much for sending this in. genuinely, thank you ♡

#i feel the panic at not being immediately good at something on so many levels personally and i sincerely hope you are able #to get to a place where that panic is almost negligible #and i hope too that you have been able to fill your life with new interests and pursuits that do make you happy and fulfilled now #ask #anonymous #the kids will be alright

[dog-teeth]

Do you have any advice for people who are currently in high school?

fucken uhhhhhhh high school was one of the most miserable times of my life so this is makin me Think i would say

1. hang out w ur friends as much as possible

2. enjoy the fact that u can see ur friends every day at school seriously i miss this so much

3. dont start smoking cigarettes or vaping it makes it so much harder to quit if u start as a teenager

4. enjoy the fact that u dont have to know what ur doing with ur life yet and u can just Be In High School cuz fr being out in the real world and having to decide what ur doing is so stressful (v freeing but also. so stressful)

5. what your peers think of u literally does not matter just do whatever makes u happy. i would wear a full matching set of fleece pajamas to school a lot of my last year bc i couldnt be bothered to change and just wanted to be comfy. dress however u want and embrace ur interests wholeheartedly. 'coolness' is fake and stupid being nice and having fun is all that matters

6. cheating is fine n dandy but dont get caught, be cautious & smart about it but avoiding doing meaningless work is a good thing tbh

7. getting good grades is important but dont kill urself over it it doesnt matter That much

8. just stop giving a fuck for real like please enjoy the fact that youre young and, compared to the rest of your life, this time does not fucking matter please just be an idiot and do stupid fun teenage things. be a dumbass be reckless have a good time. i mean dont do anything dangerous but dont be a goody two shoes go do wild stuff sometimes. go have FUN fuck everything else just make sure u have alright grades and other than that just do anything u wanna do

9. if u hate high school remember that it isnt forever and as soon as u graduate it will all fade into a distant memory and u can move on into the real world where u have control over ur life

10. you can graduate early like i did if u fulfill your credits by doing online classes. talk to ur advisor/counselor or whatever. it was honestly so much easier than an entire other year of school

11. dont be afraid to talk to ur teachers if ur struggling i promise trying to talk to them is better than suffering in silence

12. pick up a hobby that stimulates u in some way like learning another language, doing art, or learning an instrument. i promise its good for u

#ez answers #advice #high school

[wtfzodiacsigns]

My Experience With the Signs (Reprise)

Aquarius: They have a commanding presence to them that to some is intimidating but not to me. You stick to your “one way of doing things” far too much. they act emotionally detached even when everyone knows they’re the most sentimental person in the room. some of them get on my nerves with their one track mind, but for the most part we get along. they’re the type to say eww guiltlessly when you say you like something really lame (if they dont then they’re the lame one). don’t really get irony for some reason either. they dont understand how you can be ironically into something really stupid, like saying you ironically listen to journey or hall and oats sometimes.

Pisces: its a 50/50. Either I love you or I can’t stand you theres no in between. they all have high morals and will really push them on people. this isnt a big problem unless their logic makes absolutely no sense which happens. they can be very intelligent but this can lead some to become overzealous. they’re smart, empathic and very compassionate. they are equal parts capable of being my favorite person or me just wanting to kill them due to some of their know-it-all natures and ridiculous logic. they’re the type where you can chain smoke talking about every topic under the sun with for 7 hours. so long as you don’t offend them which can happen pretty easily. make one innocuous joke or comment and all hell will break loose.

Aries: we would be cool except you make every issue about you. I admire your ability to stay positive, almost to a level where i fear you’re actually just ignorant of the problem completely. they’re good at making light of other peoples situations, but if something happens to them that they don’t like, its as if the whole world has to go on hold for them to figure it out. they can be really exhausting this way and come off as being super self absorbed. these are the type to call you at 4am saying “guess what just happened to me.”

Taurus: honestly not much has changed. you are still lazy and still prefer netflix and your bag of cheetos to hanging out. but regardless, they’re level headed and easy to talk to. they love to use the blame game to explain away their problems so they dont have to put work into adjusting their behavior. they have sound logic and ideas and can be that friend that you make a meaningful glance to across the room when the person you’re talking to is full of shit. nothing phases these people. until something does. then all hell breaks loose and they are insane.

Gemini: (i dont know many so im sorry if this is an unfair bias) out of all the ones I’ve known, they’ve all sucked. they manipulate and lie to get what they want from people. usually control. every picture on their facebook page is of themselves. they think they’re really talented and special when really they’re just a methhead trying to pick up underage girls with their guitar at a party they weren’t invited to.

Cancer: they’re all super sweet honestly. prone to being down on themselves and making their poor self esteem painfully obvious. they can get defensive and close themselves off even though you really just wanna hug them. tend to make poor relationship choices though they usually dont figure that out til later. really just fun to be around and drink half a bottle of tequila with. you can really tell them anything and they won’t judge you. a wholesome bean.

Leo: the person who cuts into a conversation because you haven’t said their name in five minutes. these are a bit of a mixed bag. the ones who dont have any control of their ego are unbearable: naiive, arrogant, selfish, self centered, etc. but the ones who are aware of their own egos are typically nihilists who like really weird anime and rip on themselves to make them laugh. the self aware ones have this “dead inside” air to them but not in a depressing gloomy way just in a confident “life is meaningless so fuck it” way. also I’ve never met a female leo who wasn’t gay so theres that masculine sign bringin the gay.

Virgo: they overanalyze too much and it makes them anxiety ridden but they dont do anything about it. they can be critical, but trust me they criticize themselves the most. they can be pretty blunt, and its a good trait only about half the time. they are secretly very emotional though most will never know that. they are dying inside but are super good at faking it and turning it into a joke. range from being overbearing to overly detached in about half a second. people don’t really perceive them the way they should in both directions good and bad. they stick to their ways but not in an aquarius or taurus way, but more of a “I am at a loss I dont know what else to do” way. typically very understanding and kind but not at first. it takes time to get through that prickly cynical exterior. they’re moody and typically get way too caught up and drown in tragedies. if something bad happens they never forget and they let it follow them to their grave. they’re the kind of person where you can lay on the hood of their car at night listening to beach house talking about how cool space is. (true story)

Libra: another 50/50. they both make me the angriest most miserable person on earth and also happy to the max. they love passionately when they’re actually in love but are prone to cheaty behavior which they never address. They get caught up in what people think of them without realizing it and it makes them act irrationally. they have a habit of trying to get someones attention or respect by covering up their true selves and adopting all the interests and hobbies of the person they admire, basically a chameleon. this makes them seem fake. i wish they would just embrace who they are and be themselves because literally everyone on earth would prefer that. some, usually the men, can be extremely arrogant and think they’re the greatest thing ever at everything with no evidence. they can be incredibly insecure and have all sorts of weird ways of covering it up. can be manipulative. very flirtatious which is great if you’re interested in one and really not great while you’re dating them. don’t really understand the concept of emotional cheating, probably because they do it so much and dont want to look at themselves as cheaters but they are.  if you find a loyal self aware libra with integrity and self respect though, my god they could rule the world through their ability for kindness and love.

Scorpio: I can be good friends with them but dating them is always a poor choice. they can be pretty oblivious and a lot of them get caught up in trying to look cool. its not because they care what people think its for some weird unknown self serving reason. these people can surprise you in all kinds of ways. because they keep themselves pretty low profile you never really know what they’re capable of. they’re unpredictable that way. they are pretty slutty in frivolous relationships, but once they commit they’re pretty attached. almost to an unhealthy degree. like they could get beat up, cheated on and abandoned by their partner and still love them (true story. like 3 of them). honestly though, usually just dorky memelords who wanna argue with you about politics and music using alien conspiracies as supporting evidence.

Sagittarius: oh you fiery eyed beauties. the independent ones are the best ones. they can talk all kinds of shit and not give a fuck better than anyone and its amazing so long as you’re not on the receiving end of it. the lazier ones are usually more clingy and unsure of themselves and usually use that fiery energy on their loved ones and themselves which isnt as fun. they are the greatest best friends. they know exactly what to say and when and they are the type of person where if you tell them you got cheated on they’ll go find the bastard and light their car on fire. essentially, a punk rock sagittarius can’t be topped by anyone. just stay away from the alcohol because you are so prone to being an alcoholic like please stop we love you.

Capricorn: usually very sweet. like to the point where you wonder if they’re “okay.” they will put up with some ridiculous shit from people. if you need emotional support though ask a capricorn because they will be there. usually like to keep in charge of themselves and accomplish their goals in their own kind of strange ways. usually neat and clean and smell good. they’ll buy you pizza and not ask to pay it back. if you upset one enough to leave your life then you’ve fucked up big time because they will put up with just about anything.they are precious keep them close and protected. I only met one i didnt like and they literally ended up the person i dislike most out of the whole human race that I’ve met. so i guess this means they’re just as capable of being complete asswipes as they are being squishy marshmallows.

Source: nanothestrange

#zodiac sign #fun facts #horoscope #zodiac #astrology #facts #fact #weird #weird sign #zodiac signs #aries facts #taurus facts #gemini facts #cancer facts #leo facts #virgo facts #libra facts #scorpio facts #sagittarius facts #capricorn facts #aquarius facts #pisces facts

[eescapefromrealityy-blog1]

You are going to die.

You are going to die. Yep. Me too.

If you have a negative opinion about me, that's okay I accept that. You can have whatever opinion you want because that's your right. I still like you and have a positive one about you in some shape or form tho. Regardless of what you say about me. Know why? Because I know there's a good person under the shit talk. (Most of the time, there are disgusting people out there, I'm aware.) Its just that you're a good person in your own way, as am I. Thats the kicker. That's why you have those opinions about me. Psychology at its finest yo. It's because you were accustomed to think and feel that way about things. And that's totally cool, it's your life, live it however you want to keep living it. Even good people make mistakes. But when you're someone who sees someone doing or saying something you don't agree with, for your own reason, youre the type to express that hatred onto someone else. Either to hear what they say about it or to try to get them to feel the way you do or both in most cases. But the question to ask yourself is, why am I putting this thing I don't like in the forefront of my mind? Why wouldnt you ignore it if it makes you uncomfortable also not effecting your life other than your feelings? Wouldnt ignoring it mean itd stop effecting you completely? Yes lol. Unless you want it to, if so seek therapy. You could be using your mind for such bigger and better more meaningful things. Cause thats what will change the world. Truly. Everybody being fuckin encouraging towards one another will single handedly make everyone's life better. So what the fuck is really going on or am I one of the only people who give a fuck about other people and how they feel? Not all people are strong willed enough not to care about what people say. Its alright to disagree, its alright to voice your negative opinion it's just how you feel, but you should consider keeping it to yourself. Ultimately you're wasting your life and attempting to waste someone else's too. That shit should be illegal. You only have one. You are going to die. Your time and energy are better well spent on positive things you personally enjoy, I promise you. Because what's the goal? Honestly can anyone tell me? Cause it shouldnt be to bring people down. When your words are used to hurt people, at that point you're no longer the good person I once saw and fuck you. You have failed. Are you bored? Get a fucking hobby. Sure as hell dont make it to be an asshole. Or you can try me, you'll end up being the one butthurt tho. On everything. But wait there's more.. did you catch that part earlier where I said when you SEE something you disagree with? Hearing that something is going on is meaningless. Proof or it didn't happen. Therefore, what you say about said heard rumor is completely irrelevant. Right? Right. Because you don't actually know if it's true unless you ask personally, correct? Correct. But my question for those individuals who do speak out bullshit they're not entirely sure of, is why? To look stupid? You got it. You ruin potential friendships and good things for what? To be a fool? You did it. That's goes for anything really. It says more about you as a person than the rumor ever said at the end of the day. It shows how weakminded you are. Or how untrustworthy you really are to say something that ended up not being true. A follower. Envious. Which is all fine with me, I'm not the one who has to carry that baggage or allow you in my life. This was just me explaining your thought processes to you in hopes it'll register, and to say sorry to the people who think I or anyone else should give a fuck about their negative opinions. I and hopefully you too reader, will be eternally happy because we live genuinely, we're grateful, and we strive be better than we were yesterday. In our own unique ways just for us. If you made it this far, congratulations you should message me and be my friend because this is probably my longest post ever. Much love.

[booksbroadwaybbc]

Help, I suck at literally almost everything I do. via /r/selfimprovement

Help, I suck at literally almost everything I do.

God where do i begin. Not that I think anyone would read this but who cares. I suck just at life. Learning, my hobbies, i forget everything I just learned. And its nothing I can do to fucking fix it. I want to get better at games, I have been playing my entire life and I suck ass at them. Other than Single player games, I suck. I have low self esteem, confidence. Im slowly trying. Its hard. I dont expect it to be easy, but what do I do. I do online school, and its like Im reading a meaningless article and I remember it, but not the details. Its difficult for me to learn in general. I suck at socializing. Im a loner. I dont really have any friends. I dont wanna just whine and pout about my life because I wanna make it better but HOW do I do that. I mean, I think being more active would really help me. But that doesnt help that its so fucking hard to learn something. I suck at drawing. Ive always been inspired, and motivated to draw, I love it, but I cant draw to save my life. Im always disapointed at what I draw. I see others and Im always wanting to draw like that but I cant. I know it takes continuous practice, but how? Just draw? What do i draw? Im more into manga like stuff. But when I try you cant even tell what the fuck it is. I can never just draw lightly so that makes indents on the paper and when i erase you can see it. I know you cant really fully erase it but UGH. Me, I love myself and I hate some of myself but I dont know how to change. I love just me in general I know im a good person, but like for example socializing, I say stupid shit I dont wanna say, and I dont even know why I say it. Im build bolky, big. You know tall and strong but, Im useless. Im good at nothing. My family always call me a "computer expert" and "gamer" but I am trash at both. I dont know a damn thing about computers. I do a little bit but that doesnt help anything. I dont know, if being active has anything to do with my problems, Im not very active at all anymore. At this point, you could say Im depressed. I said I wasnt for the longest time, because it wasnt, atleast I think. I dont really know. I, I am realistic. Im always trying to be reasonable and real with myself and the people around me. I think, I do think to much but, how do I NOT think, like thats fucking impossible. I cant help it my currosity gets the better of me, I always talkmto myself, its basically a fucking hobby since I have no one else. I do think I over think a lot of things and that why im not able to learn but How do i do that, How do i NOT over think? How would one change their mindset? No matter how I say things I always go back to "Am I not active enough, I wonder if, not being active will change everything about someone?" And I think, Yes. It just makes sense. Im trying to be more active, I lack self motivation. Thats one huge problem of mine. I dont think there is a "fix" or something I can do to help that, I just have to, just Do It.

Submitted October 12, 2018 at 05:15AM by Keloxs via reddit https://ift.tt/2EgHxws

#IFTTT #reddit