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#i dont know why i made this but it gives me comfort
jkpng · 1 day
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day 135/547 of missing jungkook
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minhosimthings · 1 day
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Me Quedo Mirandote || 18+
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Pairings: Jake × fem!reader
Request: I dont know if you accept a req now but... fresh grad worker! (jake or hyunjin) × ojt student y/n. Y/n was assigned to (jake or hyunjin) to train her but yn like riding (jake or hyunjin) in his swivel chair. (Jake or Hyunjin)'s work desk cubicle is in kinda hidden in the corner. (cockwarming, cowgirl, softdom!(jake or hj))
Warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI, 18+, thigh riding, degradation, 1% sir kink because I can, orgasm control eyy, cock riding, unprotected sex (zont zo it), mention of blood, fingering, praise, semi-public sex, role-play ish situation?, Use of petnames 'doll', overstimulation, dom!Jake, sub!reader, swearing, reader wears a dress
A/N: On popular demand, I decided to just copy paste my og Hyunjin work and change the names to Jake!
Hyunjin version
Never in a million years would you ever have thought that you'd be fixing your frizzied hair and ruined lipstick in your soon-to-be office's bathroom, but here you were, your lipstick three shades lighter and your white dress all ruined.
And no one would ever question how Sim Jaeyun's shirt had the exact same lipstick shade stains on it. Why would they? A playboy never loses his instincts, even if he's freshly graduated and teaching the only on- the-job student with full responsibility.
The fortunate student being you.
And it wasn't to say Jake wasn't fortunate as well. You were compliant, perhaps even exactly like him. He wondered how you had ever managed to get through your classes so well during the day and get through him during the cool intoxicating nights.
Another thing Jake was fortunate to have was his "private office". And by office, he meant his own comfortably small cubicle, which was far away from the prying eyes of his co-workers. It was weird for a fresh out of school student to have his own cubicle, but he guessed that his workplace valued privacy to an extreme level, so much so that his "office" hid discarded red laces, tainted white silks and on the job students perfectly.
"And that's how you write up a summary for the graphs of the month." Jake clapped his hands together, trying not to sound overly positive, as you stared dead eyed into the computer screen. He had been explaining the concept to you for an hour now, and although you'd been standing resting your chin on his head, you were mentally exhausted.
"Doll, you doing alright?" Jake cocked a brow at you, standing up to your level, arms going to your waist as if it was his daily routine. Well, technically it was his daily routine.
"Do I look like I'm doing alright?" You scoffed, eyes flittering between Jake's eyes and lips, "Don't I deserve a promotion for all the work I've done Sir?"
Jake's lips morphed into a slow smirk at your widened lamb eyes and your 'good girl' pout. His hands gripped into your skin tighter, as he leaned in closer, pressing a kiss to your neck.
"You're just a student Y/N. I can't give you a promotion so quick." He smirked into the nape of your neck, knowing what was coming next. How couldn't he? With how many times, his favourite 'employee' had begged on her knees to get a 'promotion'.
"But sir haven't I been a good girl?" You whispered, staring at Jake's plump lips, "I even wore the dress you bought me." You motioned towards your clearly visible cleavage in your summer dress, one of Jake's most favourite sights for his eyes to ogle at any day.
Your hands went up to his luscious locks of hair, two flicks framing his face perfectly. God, his hair was as soft as cotton, you thought, a complete contrast to how he behaved once you were suffocating his length with your pussy.
Jake's hands slid down to your ass and pulled your hips against his body, your hand pressing against his desk. It made the dress you were wearing ride up your thighs, exposing your panties. His hot lips moved away from yours and down to your neck, kissing and gently biting the delicate skin. You let out a little gasp and arched your neck, it felt divine.
“Doll, with the way you're gasping now, I wonder what you'd do once I actually start with the usual." Jake chuckled darkly, pressing a rough, carnivorous kiss to your lips, "fuck—be a good girl for me now."
Jake pulled away from the kiss and sat back on his chair, leaning as prosaic as he could against it, and rubbing his hand over his thigh, ever so cordially inviting you over to him. Why would you ever refuse? It was your favourite place to be at any chance you got. Some days, that's the only place you wanted to be, on a hot lazy day, when you wanted nothing more than Jake to shut up about presentations and slides and spread out his leg for you.
You manoeuvred yourself so that your covered but damp core met with Jake's thigh, the hem of your dress gracefully swooped over his thigh, as you parted your legs enough to let your clit brushing against the fabric. The contact caused your mouth to fall open in a silent sigh.
"Already?" Jake clicked his tongue, "That's sort of pathetic don't you think doll?"
From this angle you looked pretty to Jake with your head thrown back, pupils blown out with lust and a prominent blush on your face. It made the animalistic side in Jake ravenous for more.
Jake adjusted his position on the chair, your loud mewl made him chuckle and press a kiss to your forehead. You hands went up to grip his soft, ebony hair, which was tied perfectly in a ponytail. Well, tied perfectly, until you ran your hands through the follicles, throwing the hair band off, and continuing to grip his open hair tightly. Your grip made Jake silently moan.
"Feel that?" He lifted a cocky brow at your pleasured expression, "It's just for you, doll."
Slowly you began rocking your hips back and forth, letting your clit get maximum friction against the clothed barriers. Your hands gripped at his shirt now tightly, leaving tiny creases all along as you chased your release.
Somewhere along the way, Jake had abandoned his work and had turned all of his attention on you, gripping your hips harshly, digging marks, guiding it along his thigh while pressing open mouthed kisses along your shoulder and neck. The chair was creaking worse than a wooden bed, but there wasn't a care in the world for that.
Jake's hands move up your thighs towards your hips pushing you harder against his thigh gaining more melodic moans from your mouth.
You rut yourself faster against him, moaning louder and louder until you finally reach what you thought was your peak.
"Jake," you whined, his kisses descend even further down your body, lips at the top of your chest, eyes peering up into your desperate and pleading eyes.
"Fuck," you sigh out, when Jake grabs your breast, lavishing it an equal amount of attention, his hands moving your hips harder and faster against him, your orgasm building swiftly at his actions.
"Beg for it darling." Jake's sadistic smile hit your face, "Be a good slut, and beg for your cum."
"Yeunnie—fuck!" You moaned out as his thigh gave a little flick upwards, "please Jake—"
"So desperate," he mumbles, tone laced with dominance, hands gliding across the back of your thighs, teasing you.
"So wet," he adds, doing as you asked and sliding his finger across your clothed core, a sinful groan escaping you, head lolling back against.
"Come for me," he husks out, letting you fall over the edge with a guttural moan, back arching, as your legs trembled, hips rocking at the pleasure that filled you. A pleasant buzz consumed your body as you rode out the aftershocks of your powerful release, your body practically going limp on his thigh at the exhaustion of coming so hard.
Your chest rose and fell with every unsteady breath, as you steadied yourself on Jake's thigh, leaning your head towards his shoulder, from how dizzy you were. Being a cowgirl really took a lot of energy from you.
As you were getting ready to stand up, you felt Jake's arm grip yours tightly.
"So soon, pretty?" He pulls you in for a rough kiss, biting your lip, he could taste salty blood on them, "I'm not even half done."
“Come here,” Jake demanded as he pulled your arm. You move around from the back of the chair as he pushes it out a bit from the table.
“Oh baby. Aren’t you just deliciously naughty?” he says as his finger slips in between your folds to find you positively dripping. “Is this all for me?” he asks as he starts to rub your clit in slow circular movements. The stimulation was killing you, yet you obliged, dumbly nodding along to Jake's words.
“So greedy,” he whispers. He slips his finger from your pussy, his hands come up to your shoulders, and he pushes the dress off of them.
“Come here and sit on my cock,” he says with that lopsided smirk you love so much.
Lifting yourself up a little, you line him up with your entrance, and then you sit back down and let him slide into your wet, needy pussy. Filling you so perfectly. Stretching you completely. You slowly sink down onto him, as he grips your waist harder, holding you down.
“You can take it.” He moans out. He slowly pushes himself in a little more, and you swear you hear him whimper. You cry out, laying down on his chest.
“Shit!” He goes inch by inch, and you groan louder and louder as he fills you out.
"Fuck,” Jake groans. And then you start to move. Slowly, up and down. Your hands rest on his hair for leverage as you bounce yourself on his cock.Your tight grip on his hair makes Jake throw his head back slightly, his eyes almost rolling to the back with the sheer amount of pleasure he was recieving from your hands running through his locks.
"Fuck—baby keep doing that." He mumbles, not even sure if you've heard it, you probably did as was evident from your now tighter grip, your fingers dancing their pretty ballet through Jake's velvety hair.
Jake grabs a tight hold of your hips, and he lifts you up a little before he starts to thrust up into you. Harder and faster than you managed. Pounding into you over and over.
"Fuck—Jake!" You gasp, a little louder than usual, "touch me—please."
Your begs elated Jake, how could he refuse? He shakes his hand from your hip and presses his fingers to your cunt. His motions on your clit are as frantic as his thrusts into you.
Pushing you closer and closer to the edge. And with a final buck into you so deep that he nudged your cervix as his thumb pressed down on your clit, you both cum. Hard and fast.
Your hips gyrated harder, until the spurring had come close; hot liquid squirted on his cock. The orgasm rips through you at such intensity that your eyes roll into the back of your head, and you scream out his name. His cock twitches as his cum spurts inside you.
Jake tilts his head to rest on your chest as he tries to catch his breath, and he moans out your name. You kiss him softly at the top of his head. Your fingers are raking through his hair as you try to calm your own breathing down to normal.
"You've made such a mess." Jake chuckled, pressing his forehead to yours, "my messy girl."
"How about those graphs now, Mr Sim?" You asked, a tint of cockishness smeared in your voice.
"Graphs?" Jake laughed, gripping your hips again.
"We're not even a quarter done yet, doll."
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torao-chan · 6 months
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man idk what to tell yall
im just. exhausted atm
#i am working overtime weekly to try and make sure i have the time off i need to a) not have a stress seizure#and b) be able to have the Paid Time Off for the Forced Time Off around the xmas holidays#and i am. so fuckin tired#i dont work a full time schedule cause I Cannot Handle It and its never more apparent then when im forced to work overtime#maybe thats why mikotos videos hitting so hard atm for me idk man#im just#im tired man#did you know#my parent approached me. about 5 years after high school#everyday. after school. she'd ask us 'how are you' and everyday. without fail. the answer would be 'tired'#or if the question was 'how was today' for once. the answer was always 'long.' or 'tiring.'#but ye. about five years after. after we got our asd & adhd diagnosis. and before we got our DID diagnosis#she approached us and apologised. something along the lines of never realising that 'tired' was the best answer we could give#because we were Exhausted#and i always look back at that and go 'what. why. what did you think of us?' 'who did you think we were?'#you never accepted anything less than the answer that made the people around us the most comfortable#of course we were exhausted#Tired was Always the Best Answer we could give Without Lying#what about your child who refused to hang out with friends optionally. who refused out of school commitment options. who refused to do any#thing for their birthday. their celebrations. their anything and everything optional choice was Nothing#what on earth made you think We Weren't Exhausted#fuck man. we had Annual Seizures from Unknown causes (hint; it was Stress and Exhaustion. A N N U A L L Y)#idk#mikotos video has me Tired in a way We Already Were#and working overtime recently hasnt helped#im tired man.#im Tired#personal
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widevibratobitch · 18 days
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.
#im so tired of this lalalalalalalalaa#something is Wrong lol#i really need this therapy on wednesday but guess WHAT im not going. im going to a funeral instead 🤡#and ill be singing in that stupid fucking church because have to but i dont fucking wanna i hate doing it and i hate churches#all i feel rn is the overwhelming urge to selfdestruct and like obv im not gonna kms now#but im so fucking angry that im not even *allowed* to do that anymore. like it was such a comfort all this time to know that i can just Quit#and now i cant because guess what someone has to take care of my mother 🫠 and im so fucking tired of being someone people depend on#to handle THEIR feelings and THEIR emotions and just take it all with humility and acceptance and kindness and never snap and bite back#like i dont WANNA hear about your dead husband i dont wanna hear about your stupid fucking boyfriend#i dont wanna hear about the new guy/girl who's hitting on you because you're so hot and perfect#i dont wanna be responsible for how people feel. i should just shut up and take it and be humble and never ask or expect anything back#but when is it MY turn to call at 1 am crying about how im tired and want to kms#or to start expecting shit of people and allow myself to get properly angry at them for not meeting those expectations#or to braggingly 'complain' about something the other person clearly lacks without any consideration for their feelings#or to just openly cry and say deeply personal shit without any filter not caring if that other person is clearly uncomfortable af#because *i* need it right now and i need someone to listen and let them worry about how to even respond to that stuff#im just so tired of people expecting shit of me im tired of being made responsible even tho i clearly cannot handle that responsibility#i wanna be mean i wanna snap and get angry and openly say that i dont give a shit and am tired and cant listen to this rn#but i cant because i have to be a motherfucking mother theresa and never dare to demand something for myself#and idk where that comes from. idk if it's coming from the fanatic catholicism of my childhood or my mother or just from myself and idc#i just feel so horrible and guilty and wrong for wanting anything for myself#and it once again feels like im making myself the victim and the tortured martyr here when i should just shut up and take it#i just wanna lie down and die and not care about who'll get angry or judge or blame me for it im tired and i dont know what to do#i want someone to take care of ME and reassure ME and make ME feel like i matter and that they really will help me if i ever need it#and that they'd be kinda sad if i were gone not because i had a role to fulfill that i failed at by killing myself but because i am a person#<- math calculations flying around my head as i come to the terrible realisation#of just why exactly im so deeply obsessed with my voice teacher (aside from her being literally the most beautiful woman alive lol) 🤡#like babygirl stop being so utterly overwhelmingly kind to me my knees are weak i would do anything for you queen and I MEAN IT
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cathalbravecog · 10 months
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Man... I can't stop thinking about the things that were talked about on the stream, especially the answer on my question - so... get ready for a ramble! its a long one. oops. i dont even know where im going with this, im just dumping my thoughts somewhere. half is about ttcc lore in general and the streams, the other half is about cathal and me projecting onto him deeper.
before i even hop deeper into this, it wasn't until early today that i learned that there was a whole drama about cranky's answers (regarding the graham and flint question and the whole "keep it sane" thing. i thought it was...off, but i understood it as 'do what you want people, just don't start any harassment because of ships and your favorite pairs'.
definitely could have been phrased better, though. at least we got a good response and an apology later from maven on twitter. but i legit did not know this was a drama until those twitter posts were made LOL. i dont interact with the fandom so i do not know how that answer was percieved by most. or if anyone except for me and my friends have had any thoughts about the question i asked that got answered.)
and what im tryna get to is that i get cranky isnt the one to be answering lore things, and probably didnt know what to answer... but it's still something to think about
because being told "cogs and toons just dont become how they are out of the blue" (paraphrasing here) as an answer to what cathal initially thought of seeing his dad be bet up and thrown off a tower is... confusing? he did say first and foremost that it has to be built upon before saying that. i understand that this is... a lot of characters! and cathal did have some focus on him thanks to the comic and they wanted to focus on other managers... but some have deeper, more intricate lore that's easy to grasp (especially the more, well, angstier managers like chip and misty.)
and we have gotten some extra lore for other managers like belle, mary, tawny.... thanks to thomas' rambles.
and it's definitely difficult for a team of volounteers working hard on a fan game together to make lore for all the characters, that are still very young in their *life span*, having been around for less than a year. despite ttcc being more character driven and focused on the cogs, it's still a game they have to run so they cannot focus on lore only and some game management has to be done first. there's a bunch of things they have to consider, like consistency and how fans may react, or possible themes or what they want the story to be...
and. yeah. its hard since. come on lets admit it. clash has an issue with how these are all given to us. hell, there's lore bits i still dont know about and im still learning because it's..so all over the place. a new player will not know about it. maven acknowledged this in the tweet and i really appreciate that, as it's honestly been my number one issue with clash, especially as someone who is there for the lore. (i mean, and the gameplay, i know some people who don't play the game itself much. well i sure do a little TOO MUCH because i have PROBLEMS. but im interested in the lore, too, yknow?)
some lore you cant learn from the wiki, and unless you interact with the community, you may never learn *where* all of this even is. if you werent live for certain lore there, it's hardly accessible to you. lore locked behind one time events, an arg website, wikis, discord chats... all that. it's hard to keep track of! i'm sure it's like that for both the fans and the writers. these characters are great, fun, and i love them, but the way we are given this information is... not the best. it's very easy to miss certain details.
it's especially bad if you're like me - only ever interacting with a close group of people you trust, (because people are scary especially a lot of... lore driven fans. yeahnoimeanshippers.sorry.and just big crowds of people in general) having only gotten back into the game recently AFTER most of the major lore events (first played once in 2019, then never again until january 2023) and also you dislike youtube and video content, so you dont watch it. something in your brain would rather if you step on a nail than watch a playthrough video (especially with commentary).
like in general it shouldnt be necessary to go through all these hoops just to know the lore! especially for things that may have little lore...
anyways, uh, back to cathal. i cannot stop thinking about this.
it definitely wasnt an answer to what i specifically asked - but possibly more so about... why cathal is the way he is? and despite what my brain and low self esteem during hard times may tell me - i do not believe that anybody is truly "lazy". i just dont think that exists. there's always some reason behind a person being unmotivated or lazy. even the little things!
but like... that's just kinda obvious. all toons and cogs have motivations. thats like... one of the basics of writing characters. have motivations for characters and reasons for why they are how they are. doesnt have to be anything tragic, just.... how they are as people.
it's totally unrelated to the question of what cathal thought about seeing his dad like that... but oh well! i asked that because i made up my own story around that already, and i just wanted to see what someone working on the game thinks about the same idea.
not to be Tumblr User CathalBravecog, but, of course I have projected heavily onto cathal. i have already stated how important cathal is to me as a character, especially with appreciating myself when im.. not exactly the most motivated. when im not doing much. taught me to appreciate breaks. hell! i keep preaching this myself. its okay to take breaks! and yet i often end up not doing it and i overwork myself on games and art and other things.
there's... a lot of things "wrong" with me that i don't have names for yet, especially due to not having a diagnosis for them, but they're very real feelings and they cause me to be unable to do things a lot of the time. various mental blocks and a new member of the gang... physical pai! hooray.
this... endless productivity we are forced and expected to do. it can take a toll on you. breaks are just as necessary and to say it's a thing that has to be re-learned is... sickening. hooray for living in a Corporate (clash) society, fellas.
one thing i can say is that i absolutely headcanon that cathal has adhd - though, maybe not the same type i do. i do not think he gets randomly hyper and wants to (and does) jump around everywhere and blurt things out randomly and impulsively. cathal here has the low energy, yknow.
i like that a lot of the content around him doesnt even describe him with the words "lazy" and "sleepy" instead.
every day is the same... even if his job is relatively simple, just watching over the camera feed - it's definitely boring... and having to do it every day is not rewarding. and being mostly alone and without consequence, he gives into wanting to do something else. he's got these huge screens and a room to himself, and he loves watching shows and cartoons... so he's gonna do that. it's more fun. it's stimulating. and especially with his dad being the one to give him his position, he knows that he's got nothing to really worry about there.
i also think it's a bit hard to be motivated knowing that... this war between the cogs and toons is just. endless. hell, again, he has to see his dad *everyday* be attacked by them. his body damaged after the fall - only to be fixed again. rinse and repeat. i would too, find it pointless. especially if you're like cathal, since i pointed out before that he is very kind and caring towards the other cogs. he's also thoughtful, noting that yknow... a lot of stairs to get to his room.
why do all that when you can chill... and feel good. do something that feels nice...
i don't have any names for this, but with how sleepy he usually is, that's definitely a thing to consider too. and just, from experience... being tired and/or sleepy it... dismotivates you even more. its so hard to start tasks even if you *want* to do them. and considering cathal mooost likely doesn't want to do his work on his own - then these tasks can be just. impossible to start.
like, i have struggled with this my entire life myself, just because of my adhd screwing with everything, but after getting covid and most definitely getting a form of chronic exhaustion from it.. things have been even harder. i pull myself through day and i barely have the energy to even start anything. sometimes i dont even do anything all day and... woops! still no mood or energy to do anything. i just work on random bursts of motivation and things that captivate me...
not sure how it relates to cathal, but, hey, if im personal here ill ramble about it too because WOW it has been biting me in the ass and i need to speak to Professionals About It
like... i dont think hes being "lazy" willingly, yknow? theres a reason behind it. it definitely is just... being sleepy, the comfort... the fun and stimulation doing something fun he's interested in (his shows) are just... stronger desires and way easier for him to get to. why struggle through something when it takes up all your energy, and then you feel no reward for it? yeah. exactly. even just "not feeling like it" is a reson. "not having energy" is a reason. hey, are these things to get better about if needed? certainly. i wish i could get help with this, it would help me in my life so so much. but should it be seen as ENTIRELY negative and as being a "hinder to society". hell nah. and i think thats swag. cathal is swag he can do this, good for him lmaooo. my brain is deteriorating i apologize.
there was... another thing i wanted to say, but i forgot. so i'll move on.
but just... yeah. i dont think cathal is just lazy. i dont believe in "laziness". he's got reasons for why he prefers naps and just... watching tv instead of doing his work. perhaps he does want to do these things, but gave up on trying. its not worth the effort, it does not feel good. its not stimulating enough to keep him going.
#long#ramble#cathalposting#i...may delete this later i dont know. i both wanna talk to ppl i know about this#but also Do Not Percieve me. I am Afraid Of What People Think#Stay Back Foul Beasts !#alsoy eah i had other stuff to talk about...more on the negative side i guess but??? its. a bit difficult to#give and .. angstier things? negative thoughts? to a character who you see a lot of comfort in. they make you happy#they help you feel better about yourself. you want to see them happy. if theyre happy#youre happy. if theyre sad...well. you are sad. sadness is natural. its a real thing. it happens sometimes. its a part of life#and i have attached some of these things to cathal already. but a few things are hard for me to consider because of The Brain Worms.#i dont want to see him hurt either yknow.#anyways i hope you enjoyer my mental illness ramble. im not normal and you shouldve known that when you followed me#thank you for existing cathal ray toby braveswag#hey fun fact remember how i said i get tired of stuff myself easily well this whole thing made me tired. i was gonna#answer an ask but now im like. man. (melts into a puddle)#(doesnt take a break bc i need instant stimulation and makes things worse for myself)#do yall see why i like cathal so much now gamers?#ya. sorry this got personal. if any of you can handle reading this u deserve a reward.#and maybe i need to start talking about personal things this much. but whatever#this is my blog i can talk about anything and thats the COOL THING!#MWAHAHAHHAHAHA!#dies#ivegot a lot going on in my brain rn cant u tell
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andromedasummer · 7 months
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yesterday was. a lot
#was sick on saturday right. slept from 4pm to 10am the next day#had a convo with my sister that turned south#and because of the weather being awful my SAD combined with that and sente into a depressive episode#had a breakdown over my relationship with my family and their (not. great acceptance/treatment of my autism)#cried for hours until my mum and dad sat down to have a talk#i vented stuff i have wanted to say for like. 2 years now. both understood and talked to my siblings about it#brothet completely understood#think my sister kinda understands#which is better than i expected because i was fully prepared for her to just. not give a fuck because i have trouble communicating with her#and now i feel kind of better?#i did. purge a fuckton of motorsport stuff from my blog because it was related to the conversation we had#but was one of many many many things that compiled into a very uncomfortable atmosphere for me in house#my mum is gonna try harder not to use the r slur which is a relief. my sister has agreed not to make fun of me when i do hear it#and become upset about it. they understand why i am upset about specific people they support and talk about in front of me#and i made sure to let them know i understand that they have diff opinions on people who have said hurtful things about disabled people#because they none of them will ever come from a place where those words hurt them#but still let them know how that affects my.... i dont wanna say trust? like my comfort in being autistic vs masking with them#which ive often been forced into doing and am still unlearning#most importantly theyve now accepted that i am autistic#that my diagnosis was not officially completed/given because the doctor advised against it. because it makes things way harder#really im just happy that i wont get comments from my sister about not actually being what i claim i am/have because they.#really upset me esp when these things that i am (autistic+adhd) and have (ocd/anxiety/depression) are linked but have been confirmed#multiple times by multiple doctors#idk i just hope things get easier from here. i can tell my family werent aware of how much this stuff was affecting me so im glad we talked#because keeping that inside was. exhausting
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zozo-01 · 2 years
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nah nah this shits hitting to close nowww
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blueslight · 1 year
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👎
#I domt think I made it clear enough to my now ex girlfriend that I broke up with her because she is absolutely unbearably clingy#and now.i feel guilty that she didnt get it cuz like until she realizes that all her relationships are gonna fail cuz any normal guy would#lose his fucking mind at her and anyone who WOULDNT would probably use her depedence to abuse her and like. I know that and i feel.bad for#evidently not making it clear enough to her#cause like also even now shes still being clingy with me ....and i find myself unable to set proper boundaries cause I dont wanna be mean#and them im morally unhappy with myself. but like then again i DO set boundaries she just doesnt respect them . and then I lose my#composure and get mean and thats even worse cuz i dont wanna be mean to someome as fragile as her but like. Shes suffocated me so much im#in the mindset of a cornered injured animal . and they bite#and it frustrates me that i cant react organically to her cause i always have to keep quiet and not protest even when she really crosses#my boundarjes cuz i dont wanna upset her#and she even said herself that even now im the omly.person she wants to talk to and i told her several.times to go talk to our other#friends cuz how am i supposed to comfort her about her breakup WHEN I DID THE FUCKING BREAKING UP..#plus I dont want that like i dont want the sole responsiblity for her social interactioms and emotional support just because shes#got unhealthy attachment behavior and refuses to get therapy ..#and like now its like well i domt wanna be mean or hurt her even more but also I dont wanna comfort my ex ABOUT *OUR* FUCKIMG BREAKUP that#is 1. fucked up EVEN THO we are still friends like id.comfort her about other stuff but how does she not realize that this wont. help#and 2. it gives me fuckin war flashbacks to my last relationship which just activates my injured animal instinct even further#and Idk why i cant set boundaries w her cuz i can do it well with other people but she just paralyzes me somehow w this stuff EVEN THO WE#GET ALONG WELL WHEN WERE LIKE NORMALLY PLATONICALLY INTERACRING#idk man i just need a fucking breather like i understand breakups hurt and i was anticipating giving her space until we can properly be#friends again (which we agreed on wanting) but like#Its not gonna get any better for her if shes constantly interacting w me#and on god her attachmenr to me isnt entirely healthy AND I DOMR WANNA SUPPORT HER UNHEALTHY BEHAVIORS but i also dont wanna be constantly#like acting on a meta level thinking whats besr for HER instead of just acting on instinct ...
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sludgeguzzler · 1 year
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i figured it out i cracked the code
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cherry-shipping · 2 years
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ok so like........... obviously i hate the concept of soulmates and soulmate aus cause FUCK the idea that a person is inherently incomplete without another person, thats fucked up and lame. BUT. with the presence of souls being an undeniable fact in undertale and by extension my selfship with sans, and the fact that i headcanon (? i feel like its canon but i might be thinking about inverted fate LOL) that sans' perception of each reset in the underground is, aside from being a knowledge that it IS possible (like asgore), mostly based on each reset bringing a stronger and stronger sense of deja vu as the timelines overlap in his memories. i do sort of like the idea of him meeting me aboveground, his soul recognizing me as its. well. soulmate, i guess. but him confusing that feeling with the deja vu he experienced in the underground and thereby being so fucking suspicious and afraid of me and like. doing everything he can to get me to stay away from papyrus and everyone else, cause he thinks im another anomaly like frisk or flowey. naturally, i dont feel that, because while humans DO have souls monsters are a direct projection of theirs, and humans are significantly less in tune with their souls overall. and since a soulmate thing would. uh. well, heavily depend on the very existence of souls. well, i wouldnt really recognize it as anything but "lol funny bone man i wanna be his friend moreso than the other monsters". anyway i phrased this so badly cause its 6:30am but tl;dr this was a longwinded way of saying "if me and sans were soulmates i wouldnt feel it and hed be terrified of my very existence and would do everything in his power to push me away". lol.
#cherry chats#bf (bone friend)#i feel like i just..... kinda.......... rambled about my monster biology headcanons for the entirety of this post.#wellum anyway! it is my hyperfixation/special interest combo and i have soooo many headcanons and theories i like so Yeah#now i already explained i dont like soulmate aus i think theyre really shitty. also unbearably aro exclusive obviously#but mostly i just hate the idea of not being complete without the presence of another person........#as if you cannot be whole if you dont devote your life to other people.#im heavily introverted i dont think i need people to be happy and content and um.#you cant tell anyone this this is another secret only my selfship blog followers are privy to#and i might delete this later so im gonna say this in its own tag;#for like maybe a year and a half i think. ive been questioning if im aro.#cause i for sure dont experience love in the same way ive come to understand most people do.................#i love aros everyone knows this but at the same time........ i really DONT wanna be aro#idk why that is but i have to assume its cause ive been so completely comfortable in my demigirl bi identity since i was 13#like i learned of both of those and ive never before felt the need to question any further. i was like oh yea this is right and that was it#but. like i said i know for certain i dont feel love like most people do#and i dont know if thats cause im aro or if its cause i have trauma or if its cause im autistic or WHAT#but ummm yeah. thats fun cool skenp trivia for you (pls dont tell anyone)#i know i dont need to use any label im not comfortable with and giving it more thought so far hasnt made me more comfortable#if anything its had the opposite effect. but i still cant help but think about it once i realized i dont feel love#except for. One Person. but ive said enough so bye#geez ok i got sidetracked. back to soulmate aus though i Dont Like Them#though i guess that 'empty space' theyd propose you feel before encountering your soulmate could be sort of more palatable if you were to#say you dont know you ever had it UNTIL you met your soulmate. but that doesnt change the fact that its whack#but this is the one soulmate fantasy ill allow myself cause i think its neat <3#and monsters do have souls so......... i guess soulmates wouldnt be a stretch. but id like for there to at least be the possibility of#multiple soulmates. so its not like 'your life revolves around ONE PERSON who youll likely never meet' cause thats dumb#i talked too much tumblr might delete half my tags lol. guess ill just make another post in that case#anyways BYE
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mayspicer · 5 months
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Girl help I really need to do the test tasks for a new job or else my life is gonna get very bad real soon, but all I want to do is draw ttrpg characters.
#majek says shit#ok so Im jobless since august but I had a safe amount saved to live a little too comfortably until about now#and now I have money left to live relatively normally until January and after that uhhhhh bad 0 money left#I got caught in a trap of “animators are always wanted in gamedev you'll find a job in 2 weeks” thing everyone seems to genuinely believe#turns out every studio on earth is looking for Seniors and Leads or 3D animators that turn out to be 3D generalists able to do everything#from concept to every kind of model optimised for games and texturing and rigging and mocap and keyframe stuff and vfx is also nice#and I'm like “hello am animator know how to make character move. i can give them skeleton but not necessarily if in 2D”#“have a few years of experience in gamedev but got fired just before the premiere of my one title that will list me as animator”#got fired along with many others because the publisher backed out and there was no money to keep most of the artists this close to launch#so far only two studios followed through with the recruitment. one makes casino games and asked me 3 questions through mail#they wanted to know why im looking for a job. have I heard about them before and how much I wanna earn. also added that my personality#should shine through my answers. sure xd. the other is a mocap studio and they want me to do a test. in software I last used 5 years ago#and its mocap which I dont like and know almost nothing about how to do it#and I WANNA DRAW. I made a disaster of a cleric to replace Cayden in the old party and Im itching to draw him properly#also there is secret satan and a whole queue of scenes from recent sessions#including the lase one when Cayden was possessed by an ancient wizard (?) for a few seconds and now has mild ptsd#there were such cool visuals there because he was connected to a tentacle that pierced the back of his neck and his eyes went black#and I had to fight the party from that moment. hit them once with a big fire damage spell and then passed a save. and then failed again#fortunately the party destroyed the artifact that did the posessing and it ended. but my boy simultaneously experienced some cosmic horror#beyond his comprehension. and kinda saw his own hands casting fire at his friends. all while he was fighting in his head with some tentacles#and being watched by first disembodied black eyes and then by a shadowy figure#now he has weird nightmares of more cosmic horror and gets uneasy if he looks at the night sky for too long ;o;#I also have a drawing of the party celebrating their promotion to captains and like 3-4 sketches and one other big scene#in which Cayden has a romantic tension moment with another character while casting prot from evil on them to save them from mind control#also I have a commission to finish that a friend paid for LAST NOVEMBER#but that mocap studio is waiting for this test for so long now I have to do it if its the last thing I do in my life
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ellecdc · 2 months
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Can i request something bit angsty? 🥺 its totally fine if you dont wanna write it tho!
I was thinking, wolfstar x reader got into an argument and reader started to occlude and the boys got scared they might be out of line bcs she only occlude when shes really hurting?
this is my SHIT - love me some hurt/comfort. thanks for requesting, lovie 🫶
poly!wolfstar x fem!readerCW: hurt/comfort, arguing, mention of past family discourse, toxic family memories
“I’m sorry. You did what?” Sirius beseeched, walking into the living room from the kitchen and interrupting the points (arguments) you and Remus were each in the process of making. You gave him an unimpressed look, knowing he wasn’t actually asking you to repeat yourself, he just couldn’t believe what he had heard.
“She gave Mary-Ella over a grand.” Remus muttered bitterly.
“I did not give Mary-Ella money, I loaned her money.” You were quick to correct.
Sirius just scoffed. “Sure you did, dollface.” He sneered, making his usual pet-name burn to the touch. “You are never going to see that money again.”
“What were you thinking?” Remus implored.
“I was thinking that my friend was in a bind and needed help. I hardly think that’s a crime.” 
“You didn’t just loan a little bit of money, though. You loaned a lot of money to a friend who is not reliable in the slightest.” Remus asserted.
“We have been working so hard trying to save up to move. To move closer to Diagon Alley so that Remus can be closer to work, and we can finally get out of my uncles flat.” Sirius added.
“I know we’ve been working hard, Sirius. I know this because I too have been working hard. But I’m not going to watch my friend struggle when there’s something I could do to help!”
“This choice impacted all of us. You had no right to make this decision on your own.”
It was your turn to scoff as you turned to glare at Remus incredulously. You had been trying to stay patient, knowing that this close to the moon, Remus was feeling extra sensitive. But him ganging-up on you with Sirius quickly found what little patience you had running thin. “I 'had no right' to make a decision about money that I made on my own?”
“You have no ground to stand on, buttercup. You’re now out more than a grand because of this choice; we’re all out more than a grand because of your choice.” Sirius growled, tone full of derision.
“If the roles were reversed, Mary-Ella would help me out!” You tried to reason, only for Remus to bark a laugh.
“That doesn’t even matter, dove. Because you’d never be in her position and likewise, she’d never be in yours. She’s irresponsible, unreliable, and a mooch.”
You tried to ignore the burning sensation in your sinuses as you spoke to the back of Remus’ head; he apparently had grown so disgusted with you that he couldn’t even look at you anymore. 
“I don’t like you talking about my friends like that. I don’t understand why we’re making such a big deal about this, I jus-” but you were cut off as Remus stood abruptly and turned on you. 
“We’re making this a big deal because it is a big deal!” he bellowed. “You leave this apartment in the morning and it’s like Sirius and I don’t exist anymore. You conduct yourself like some single woman with no responsibility to anyone else but herself.”
“You’re being selfish. You can’t possibly expect to drop a bomb on us like this and, what, expect us to just reply with ‘yes dear’? You fucked up, Y/N.” Sirius added, arms crossed defensively over his chest and cold silver eyes glared daggers that permeated your entire being. Remus carried on, unperturbed by the effects this conversation was having on you.
You felt like you were seventeen again, like you were eleven, nine, six. You felt like a babe whose hand had been slapped for reasons beyond your comprehension.
Do you ever stop and think about the consequences, Y/N?
You were sitting at the dining room table as your father lashed you with his words, each sentence punctuated with the slamming of his fists on the table. You were standing on the platform having just reunited with your parents after the school year as your mother’s claws dug into your arms, warning you that punishment was to come later if you didn’t smarten up. You were cowering in the backyard as your father screamed at you in front of the entire neighbourhood – a free show for all to enjoy. 
You think crying will earn you any sympathy here? You’re a manipulative little witch if you think that will work on me. Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about. 
You felt naked – like your figurative clothes had been violently ripped from your body – and there you stood, stripped bare for all to leer at. Standing before two people...who were meant to love you unconditionally...as they laced their words with venom and spat vitriol at you.
You couldn’t even hear the point Remus was trying to make anymore. It didn’t matter anyway.
He hated you. You were hated. You were a disappointment, a burden, unwanted.
But you couldn’t cry – could never cry. You’d just be manipulating them. You were deceitful. Emotions were deceitful. The way you felt was wrong. And they were right.
Always right. 
So, you did what you always did; you made it quiet. 
You began layering rows of stones around your being. Protection. Space. Distance. Safety.
They couldn’t hurt you from all the way in here, not from the other side of your wall. You’d be safe here. Here in the quiet.
It was safe in the quiet. 
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Sirius felt disgraceful at how long it took him to notice the signs of you pulling away from the conversation. Away from them. Away from him.
Remus – always more sensitive than the two of you when it came to the likes of money, combined with feeling extra flustered with the upcoming full moon – had no reason to expect nor recognize signs of occlusion. 
Suddenly, Sirius was fourteen again. Walburga was standing over him with her wand aimed at his chest, but all he could see was Regulus. He had prayed at the time that his brother could hear him begging in his mind:
Turn it off, Reg. Just turn it off. It can’t hurt you if you turn it off. 
Sirius himself sat in an almost constant state of occlusion during his fifth year, knowing somewhere deep in his gut that the beginning of the end of his life as the heir of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black (or the end of his life in general) was near. 
Growing up wasn’t a whole lot easier for you, it seemed. And he knew that when things got to be too much, you did what you needed to do to protect yourself.
He suddenly hated himself. You weren’t supposed to need to protect yourself from him and Remus. It was their job to protect you; just like you always protected them. 
How you protected Remus from wasting away on the days leading up to and recovering from the full moon. You never let him go hungry or thirsty, you always made sure the space was clean and tidy, and you never let him fall into his typical pre- and post-moon self-loathing.
And you protected Sirius from himself; from saying things that he wouldn’t be able to take back, from being the worst version of himself, from losing you and Remus completely. 
He didn’t deserve you.
You didn’t deserve this.
For fuck’s sake all you had been doing was being kind.
Being a good friend, someone that others could rely on, protecting people who meant so much to you. 
All you were doing was being your kind, courteous, protective, generous self that Remus and Sirius had fallen in love with from the very start.
“Moony!” Sirius pleaded, causing the lycanthrope to pause in his tangent. You didn’t even flinch at the sudden change in the atmosphere as Remus looked at Sirius bewilderedly. 
“We’ve lost her.” Sirius murmured quietly, causing Remus to spin to observe you. 
“Well...” Remus began, still struggling to shake off his anger and the need to argue. “But I-”
“It’s enough, Remus.” Sirius hissed quietly, staring at Remus with a look he hoped conveyed no nonsense.
He apparently succeeded as Remus let out whatever breath he’d been holding as he turned again to face you.
“Dove, I’m sorry.” Remus whispered as he tried to move towards you, but you instinctively took a step back to maintain the distance between you; your arms wrapped around your middle protectively as if that was all that was holding you together. 
Sirius’ heart felt like it split in two – and based off of the look on Remus’ face, he wasn’t fairing any better.
“Y/N?” Sirius tried. You didn’t turn to look at him, but you hummed in quasi-acknowledgement.
“Can you look at me?” He tried quietly, but you shook your head no. 
Remus made a pained sound as he tried to move towards you again, ducking his head down in an attempt to make eye contact with you. You didn’t back away from him this time, but your arms tightened in their hold around your middle.
“Sweetheart, I’m sorry I...I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. I’m...I was out of line.”
“Come back?” Sirius pleaded. “Please.”
You took a deep breath and turned your face towards your boyfriends, but Sirius could tell your eyes were still foggy – you were still hiding.
“We won’t talk about it anymore. That conversation is done.” Sirius said.
“But-” you started, voice grating from the tightness in your throat, but he cut you off.
“The conversation is done. You did what you thought was right, you were being your kind lovely self, helping your friend when they needed you. We shouldn’t have yelled at you, sweets. I’m sorry.”
Remus made another pained sound and moved closer to you again.
“Dovey, I’m so sorry. Please, can I- would you like a hug?”
Sirius watched as you looked at Remus, seeming to weigh your options before you nodded once at him. Remus needn’t any more invitation and quickly (though gently) made for you, enveloping you in his arms. 
The three of you stayed like that – Remus with his arms around you, you with your arms around yourself and your face pushed into his chest, and Sirius standing helplessly at the side – before Sirius started to notice some tension leaving your shoulders.
“Why’d you go?” He asked you quietly, gently placing a hand in the middle of your shoulder blades and rubbing in a way he hoped was soothing.
“I didn’t want to cry.” You admitted into Remus’ chest, neither boy missing how tight your voice seemed to be, even as your voice barely raised above a whisper. 
“Oh, dolly. Just cry. Cry, okay? Make us feel like tossers, but don’t leave.” Sirius said.
“I didn’t want you to feel bad.” You muttered wetly, finally turning so Sirius could see your red and wet face. 
“But we deserved it. Oh, my love.” Remus cooed as he all but picked you up and locked your legs around his hips, forcing you to move your grip from around yourself to around him.
“I’m not s’posed to make you cry. I’m s’posed to make you smile.” He muttered pitifully, pressing his lips into your hair.
“And cum.” Sirius spoke in the same pitiful tone, brushing a strand of hair from your forehead.
You laughed wetly and the last of your occlusion appeared to slip away which was what Sirius had been aiming for. It didn’t make him feel all that much better though.
“Oh, my girl. I’m so sorry, Pads is right. You were just being your lovely self, and I’m a bastard.”
Sirius watched as your brows furrowed. “You’re not a bastard.”
“No,” Sirius agreed readily, “he was just being a bastard. Both of us were. Do you think you can forgive us?”
You nodded quickly but Remus tsked in response.
“Don’t let us off so easily, dovey. Make us pay for it. What do you need? Do you need a foot rub? You want cake? Ice cream? What about a kitten? You’ve always wanted a kitten.”
You had been shaking your head at everything Remus said until the last one, your curiosity obviously piqued.
Fuckin’ hells, Sirius thought, if she gets a kitten everytime one of us acts like an arse, we’re going to be overrun with cats by next month. 
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Heyy bbg 😩
How was ur dayyy, mine was ok i went shopping 😘
Whats ur favorite colorrr, i like blue 😝
How would the boyz react to breaking the bedframe during sum rough... activities 😉😏😩😳
Dont forgor to drink water and get atleast 6 hrs of sleep pls 🥺
Heyyy! I am so sorry this took me so long to start on, I went a little MIA there, lol. So of course my first post of 2024 is OM smut lol Happy 2024 everyone! Now, on to the hcs! Mature content below the cut. Warnings for Levi's section, implied monster f*ck*ng, very slight.
Lucifer
This bastard makes no secret of how proud he is to make a mess of MC.
His reaction depends on the position, if the bedframe cracks while he is on top, then he makes sure MC's safe before continuing elsewhere.
MC's barely had time to comprehend that the bedframe gave way underneath them before Lucifer is scooping them up and resuming their activities on his desk or against the wall.
"Lucifer, did we-?"
"Don't worry your pretty little head about it, my darling. Now, sing for me~"
But. If that bed breaks while MC's on top? That is a very different story.
"Look at you, taking me so well even the bed can't take it~"
"Go on, love, do it again."
Demon does not give a shit, clasps MC's thighs and holds them up while he thrusts up to meet their hips.
He may act mildly displeased at having to buy a new bed, but that aura of pure pride rolling off him the next day is fooling no one.
Mammon
Let's face it, he's so sex-drunk he probably didn't notice. He's too busy overstimming himself to the point of tears, pretty noises pouring from his kiss-bitten lips with shameless abandon.
He's the Avatar of Greed after all, and here is his greatest treasure, all naked and pretty for the taking, giving him everything he could ever want. Why in nine circles of hell would he stop?
He'll fuck until the mattress hits the ground, or until MC tells him to stop, because he always retains enough of himself to keep them safe.
Once they're done and laying on a skewed wreck of a bed, sweat colling on their skin, that's when Mammon finally notices.
"Hey...what happened to the bed?"
MC chuckled, pressing a kiss to his brow. "You happened, baby."
His cheeks turned pink and he hid his face in their neck as though he could hide the blush from them. MC felt him grinning against their skin, until the reality struck him.
"How the fuck am I gonna explain this to Lucifer?"
Leviathan
He also wouldn't notice, but not for the reason you might think.
Usually, Levi is a very sweet lover, tends toward the submissive side and lets MC set the pace.
However...
For their lovemaking to get to the point of breaking anything, it's because Levi has gone absolutely feral.
I'm talking more demon than anything else, growling and snarling instead of whimpered, sweet moans tumbling from his lips.
You'd better believe he'll break the bed, the only thing that will stop him is MC, and if they choose not to...
He'll break a lot more than the bed.
Satan
Believe it or not, I don't actually see this happening with Satan.
He's so cautious of his wrath around MC in the bedroom that I'm no so sure he'd even be comfortable playing rough.
The most that happens with him is toppling a pile of books or something. Once, he accidently knocked into a shelf and used himself as a meat shield for MC as the avalanche came down.
That made for an awkward evening when poor Beel come to the rescue.
Asmodeus
Let's face it, if he did it, it was on purpose.
Asmodeus knows exactly what he's doing when it comes to MC's pleasure, knows exactly how to make them writhe just so that it was actually the human who let magic slip in their daze and cracked the bedpost.
The Avatar of Lust chuckled against their sex, his head buried between their thighs and his eyes alight with pure sin. "What else can I make you break, lovie?"
"S-sorry..."
"Oh no sweetheart, don't apologise. Let me see how much more I can make you sing for me~"
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norrizzandpia · 5 months
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I JUST READ You Were Never What I Wanted AND NOW I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE
IT WAS SO GOOD
IM SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT PART (if u decide to post it)
YOURE WRITING IS AMAZING <333
Yall ask and yall shall receive! Part 1 link if you need it <3
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But I Need You Now (You Were Never What I Wanted, Part 2) (LN4)
Summary: In the aftermath of Lando and Y/n, Lando makes it his personal mission to show Y/n that it wasn’t fake. Their PR stunt might’ve started out as a lie, but it was love for him and he knows it was for her too.
Warnings: language, angsty, FLUFF AT THE END BITCHES AS AN APOLOGY FOR THE HELL I PUT YOU THROUGH WITH THESE TWO-PARTERS, sexual conversations
Note: see what I did with the title… 😏 You were never what I wanted, but I need you now 🤭 also i made this less angsty as an apology again 👹
Y/n goes home for a few days.
The news spreads throughout the paddock like a virus, being whispered in every person’s ear. When it gets back to Lando, he stands in the midst of the chaos in McLaren’s garage.
Jon leaves his hand on Lando’s shoulder in a comforting manner, knowing something happened between them, but not knowing the specific details.
“She left?” He says lowly, voice wavering as he tries to gain control of it.
Jon nods, “I’m afraid so.”
“What about the race?” He asks, hands clenching at his sides.
“She’s having the reserve driver take her place. You know that.” Jon gives him a confused look.
Lando shakes his head, “No, I get that, but how could she just give up on it?”
Jon sighs and Lando can tell his trainer doesn’t want to tell him the next bit of information. He does anyway, “I heard she was pretty distraught after that gala a week ago. Apparently, she was sobbing and the valet had to help her call a cab. She was a mess, I gather, no one knows why.”
I do, he thinks. I know why, Lando thinks.
Lando abandons the conversation, not wanting to hear anymore about the girl he loves.
She plagues his dreams, his nightmares, his delusions, his thoughts, he doesn’t need her to infiltrate his life anymore.
🏎️
“What’s the problem?” He asks an hour later when Jon treats him like he’s about to have a mental breakdown at any moment.
His trainer eyes him suspiciously, gently, “Nothing,”
Lando groans, arms flying out beside him before smacking down back at his sides, “Jon, cut the bullshit. You’ve been treating me like I’m a fucking baby all day. Why?”
Jon sighs, turning to look at him before grabbing his arm and pulling them out of the garage. Jon forces them into a random hallway always away from the commotion and publicity, looking at Lando softly, “What happened between you and Y/n?”
Suddenly, Lando’s defensive. The mention of her name makes his skin crawl and his heart clench, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You two were dating.”
Lando rolls his eyes, “We were not dating. We were a PR stunt. You know that, Jon.”
Jon stares him down, “You two were dating.”
The meaning of his words hits Lando, what Jon truly is trying to address. He’s drowning in the mistakes of his own actions and the love he developed for her, no way to explain his way out of the situation with Jon looking at him knowingly.
He folds his arms over his chest, “Maybe in the end.”
Jon’s face scrunches up in confusion, “In the end? Of course, you were. Did you sleep together?”
“Fuck, no!” Lando yelps, astonishment at Jon’s bluntness, a trait the man has never had when it came to his romantic relationships.
Jon shakes his head, confusion deepening, “Then how the fuck did you two end up where you are? How did you end up in this mess? Which you still have not told me about.”
He sighs, head falling to stare at his shoes, “I fell in love with her. She fell in love with me. Well, at least I think.”
Jon, the man so incredibly lost, looks blankly at Lando, “You fell in love. With Y/n. Y/l/n. The woman you used to absolutely detest. The woman who used to hate your guts. You two fell in love with each other?”
Lando nods, “I know how it sounds, but it happened.”
Jon’s head tilts to the side, “Okay, and what happened the night of the gala?”
Jon sees the shift of Lando’s demeanor, his entire body running cold with images of her walking out on him. The boy’s body running cold, he tries to get through the night that ruined it all, “Everything was fine in the beginning. We were just talking to a bunch of donors. You know, we got so many that night. Anyways, we were at the bar and being stupid as always, getting drunk, when Lu showed up.”
“Lu as is your ex?” Jon clarifies.
Lando nods, “Yeah, so she came up to us and we just got to talking. She mentioned the fact that we still talk.”
Jon’s mouth falls open, “You and Lu still talk?!”
“Not anymore, not after the gala. She basically cut off contact with me because she ‘hated the way it made her feel when she saw the look on Y/n’s face’. But, at that time, we had been. I should’ve told Y/n when we started getting serious, but I didn’t and that came back to bite me in the ass because she was so betrayed, Jon.”
“So, she walked out of the gala because she was angry about you and Lu?”
“Yeah, she basically told me I didn’t care about her in the way she thought I had, which wasn’t true. I told her I loved her and then shit just went completely downhill after that.”
Jon’s hand squeezes Lando’s arm, “You told her you loved her?”
There’s a flash of sadness in Lando’s eyes and Jon knows it’s because of the painful rejection. He’s learning that Y/n might’ve started out as one of the people Lando cared about the least, but she had quickly become the center of his entire world.
“Of course, I did. But, she didn’t believe me. I don’t blame her too! The start of our relationship was built specifically on hatred. We never wanted anything to do with each other and then, all of a sudden, we were kissing and it was feeling like something more.”
A silence passes before Lando whispers, “Sometimes I wish I never would’ve met her.”
Jon chuckles, “You’ve said that before.”
Lando scoffs, “Yeah, but that was because I hated her. This is because I can’t deal with the fact that she left me.”
“Have you tried to talk to her?” Jon inquires, eyes roaming Lando’s face in search of an answer.
“No,” Lando responds, grief and remorse soaking his tone.
“Well, maybe that’s where you need to start.” Jon smiles.
“In order to do what?” Lando’s lost on the insinuation.
“In order to get her back.”
It’s heartbreaking the way Lando stares up at Jon as if he’d just single-handedly restored all senses of hope and happiness into his body, “You think I can do that?”
“I think that you and her loved each other too much to let it go to waste this way.”
Maybe you’re right, he thinks. Maybe I need to find out for myself, he thinks.
Y/n, the girl he hated so much for the love she made him feel, was locked up in her room of her childhood home, information Lando gained from her mother who he had called quietly. It was the first time they had spoken, but it wasn’t the first time she had heard of him. Her daughter had shown up in the middle of the night, sobbing to her over a boy and berating herself for allowing a man to hurt her in the way he had.
However, with the undying kindness Y/n shared, she had patiently heard Lando out as he explained to her the feelings he harbored for her daughter. Strong words of love had persuaded her into giving Lando their address and giving him permission to come. After all, she saw the way her daughter’s Lock Screen lit up with a loving picture of them every time Y/n got a notification. She clocked the picture as the room where Y/n had been hospitalized after her crash, Lando laying on the bed beside her with his arm wrapped safely around her shoulders, a kiss to her cheek as she smiled at the camera.
Bags packed and in hand, Lando stands in front of her house, hood pulled over his head with sunglasses shoved over his eyes. He takes two steps at a time, bypassing multiple steps in the process as he reaches the front door in no time.
Knocking on the wood, Lando waits patiently before the lock is turning and her mother is appearing before him. Dressed in jeans and a sweater, she smiles softly at him, a smile resembling the one Y/n had adorned him with before he made her feel less than the most important person in his life.
“Hi, Ms. Y/l/n. Thank you for this.” He says quietly, not wanting Y/n to hear him and get scared.
She nods at him, opening the door and letting him step in, “As much as you hurt my daughter, I think this space is effecting her worse.”
He lingers in the doorway, nerves getting to him as he stares at the steps in front of him, steps he assumes would lead him to her.
Her mother notices his eyes, “She’s up there if you want to go.”
He takes a step toward them, but takes on back and looks at her with tension in his face, “Do you think she’ll want to see me?”
Her mother’s head moves side to side, “I think, at first, she’ll be mad, but she’ll warm up. I know she still loves you, that’s still there.”
He nods, “What should I say?”
His words relay quietly and her mother lays a hesitant hand on his arm, “Why are you here? Why are you fighting for her?”
His answer comes easily, “Because I love her. Because, after years of hating each other, I realize that I never truly, fully hated her. I hated that she was better than me and the fact that she was winning races more than I was, but I never hated her. I never gave her a chance to show me who she was and it took someone forcing us to be together for me to see how amazing she is. I’m remorseful for that, of course, but I’m happy it happened. If it hadn’t, I wouldn’t have realized the happiness that was standing in front of me all along.”
Her mother smiles brightly at him, “Tell her that.”
🏎️
The door creaks as Lando pushes it open, head poking in to see her laying with her back to him.
“Mom, can I just have some time alone right now?” Her broken voice whispers, curling further into herself as Lando steps in and closes the door.
He doesn’t say anything, opting to walk over to her bed and sit down. The mattress is larger, putting space between them so he’s not touching her.
“I can hear you breathing. Please leave.” She says again, this time pleading desperately.
Lando exhales before lifting his hand and laying it on her hip, his thumb rubbing soft circles lovingly. He feels her body tense, her head looking down to inspect the fingers wrapped around her skin.
She pulls away quickly, sitting up and whipping her head around to meet his eyes.
“What the fuck are you doing here?! You should be at the race!” She yells at him, shifting farther away from him.
He hates how tired she looks, how puffy her eye bags are from a mixture of exhaustion and tears. His body turns to completely face hers, his leg being pulled onto the bed, “Your mom gave me the address and I got the reserve driver to cover for me.”
Y/n scoffs, “Okay, why would my mother do that?”
“Because she knows I love you.”
Y/n’s eyes glaze over, iciness translating in her every move, “How would she know that?”
“I called her.” He states simply, watching her eyebrows stitch together.
Her head tilts, “How did you get her number?”
“From Nick.”
Y/n body rears back, “My trainer?! You coerced my trainer into giving you my mother’s phone number?! Are you fucking crazy?!”
“For you, yes.” He smiles softly. His comment earns an eye roll.
“Y/n, just listen to me.” He begins, but Y/n raises her hands in objection.
“No, Lando. Leave me alone. I appreciate the effort, but leave.” Her hands push his arms, doing nothing to move him.
He gently takes her hands in his and shifts closer to her, “No. I’m not leaving until you hear what I have to say.”
Knowing how stubborn he is, Y/n sits back and gestures for him to continue.
“When I first met you, I hated the success you had.” He starts.
Y/n laughs, “What a great start!”
“Let me finish.” He states, “I hated the success you had and I was dumb enough, young enough to think that meant I hated you too. So, I spent years resenting everything that had to do with you. I never gave myself one moment to reflect on the reasoning for my dislike of you. If I had, we wouldn’t be here right now. Part of me hates that, hates that I spent so much time treating you in a way you never deserved, but another part of me, the part that has fallen so hard for you, is happy it didn’t. If I had realized that I was just jealous of the race wins you were claiming, I would’ve been cordial with you, never getting close enough to get to know who you are out of the envy I held against you. If it had gone down that way, I would’ve never gotten to meet you. And I mean the person you really are, underneath all the PR trained, guarded skin. I would’ve never fallen in love with you, never experienced you and the happiness you have provided me with. It took us so long to get here, through hurtful insults and screaming matches, I can’t let you slip through my fingers, your love with it, because of my stupid mistakes. I won’t let that happen.”
Y/n stays quiet after he completes his last sentence, staring at him as she decides what she wants to do next.
Softly, she says, “Why didn’t you tell me about Lu?”
He sighs disappointedly, “I don’t know. Truthfully, I didn’t think it meant that much. In my head, I didn’t love her. I was just ending a relationship on good terms. I didn’t think far enough to get to you. I’m sorry for that. If I could go back and sit you down, explain to you what Lu and I were doing, the fact that it meant nothing compared to what I feel towards you, I would. You deserve that conversation. I don’t know if that means anything to you, but I hope it does. She was never going to mean the same thing to me as she had before after I first kissed you. Truthfully, she never did mean the same thing to me as you do. I’ve never felt this way for anyone before.”
Y/n nods slowly, gathering her thoughts, “When did you start loving me? When did it stop being hate? Because that night at the gala, at the end of our conversation, you hated me again.”
Lando shakes his head, “First of all, I didn’t hate you that night. I was just hurt and it translated to something ugly, which I can’t apologize enough for. Second of all, I don’t know when I genuinely started loving you, but I know I realized it when you crashed. When I was running throughout the paddock, I could not get away from the heavy pit in my stomach that only pointed toward one thing, I knew that. I tried to push it away, tried to forget about it, but when I saw you laying there, bandaged and alive, it just hit me. I loved that you were still there, I loved the relief that spread through me, I loved the happiness I felt when I saw you breathing, and, then, I just loved you. It built exactly like that. I was just listing the things, in my head, I adored about the moment in order to get away from the severity of it, and then it was just you. You, you, you, you.”
Y/n’s small smile graces his eyes and he moves closer to her, sitting with his legs folded on the bed and his hands over her thighs. The two of them breathe each other in before Y/n is shuffling closer to him. His arms immediately move from her legs to snake around her torso, folding open his legs and pulling her into him. She lays her shoulder against his chest, her head falling to the side to nuzzle in his neck as her legs spread in front of her, lying over his thigh. She plays with the hem of his hoodie as he kisses her temple, laying his head on top of hers.
“You know, I love you too.” She says into his neck. A warmth spreads through Lando, happiness buzzing all the way down to his toes at her confession.
It’s all he’s ever wanted to hear, “I had an inkling.”
She lightly smacks his stomach, giggling, “Don’t be a smart ass.”
Just as he’s about to rebuttal, his phone begins vibrating harshly in his back pocket. His arm reaches around to pull it out, Jon’s face illuminating the screen.
Y/n laughs, “Can I answer it?”
The idea makes him shine with pride, knowing Jon will be proud to hear Lando’s gotten his girl back. So, he plops the phone in her lap with a smile.
Clicking the green button, Y/n puts it on speaker.
“Lando? Did you get there okay? Have you spoken to her yet?” Jon’s rushed voice says quickly.
Y/n gives Lando a playful look before answering, “He got here okay.”
There’s a silence before Jon is cackling, “AHA! IS HE THERE?! LANDO, I TOLD YOU!”
The couple laughs at his antics, Lando moving closer to the speaker to say, “I’m here and I’m starting to think I should listen to you more.”
There’s shuffling on the other end of the phone before they hear Jon screaming to, what they assume is, the entire McLaren garage, “LANDO AND Y/N, GUYS!”
Again, silence, murmuring even, before the entire room erupts in cheers. Lando can hear it’s just his crew, the group of men knowing how much it stressed Lando out to have her mad at him, the reason she was, they didn’t know.
Y/n and Lando break into tears over their laughter at the men on the other end of the phone. It’s therapeutic to see her laughing in his arms again, a sight Lando didn’t think he would see again.
She’s leaning into him as the men continue to cheer, holding him as her body racks with laughter and all he can do is hold her closer, tighter.
He holds her like she’ll leave him again if he lets go, a thought he knows is so preposterous. Because she’s got her eyes closed, blissed out in his presence and he can see the lines of tension wither away.
She’s safe with him, she shows that through the way she hugs him and softly kisses the side of his neck when he ends the call.
When the noise stops and quietness envelopes them, the couple is left with just each other. He lays them down, her body relaxing into him as she murmurs how much sleep she’s lost over their dispute.
He whispers back, “Go to sleep, then, love. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
He watches her eyes flutter close, her head falling further into the crook of his neck when she crosses the line between consciousness and unconsciousness.
Lando’s not tired, however, only laying down with her because he’s not ready to let her go yet. His eyes wander around her childhood room, pictures of a toddler Y/n winning karting races and different championships. Her toothy grin is a charming sight, a look she hasn’t lost in the years of her growth since then.
After inspecting and finding nothing, but more things to love about her, Lando’s eyes avert back to her sleeping form. He brushes the hair out of her face lightly, pressing a kiss to her forehead before whispering against it, “At first, you weren’t what I wanted, but I absolutely need you now.”
Tags (i forgot to put these lol): @toasttt11 @megumilovesme @the-untamed-soul @evieepepi08 @igotnorrrizz @im-an-overthinker @cxrlha @ssrcsm @landoslover @minkyungseokie @luvrrish @louvpdf @weasleyreidstyles @ushygushybaby @theycallmeahugger @sainzluvrr @itsjustaninchident @gavisuntiedboot @gracielukey @formula1mount @cjjydes282clo @ssararuffoni @aexitizen
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theoccultz · 7 months
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How does your beauty influence others?
Theme: certain traits makes you attractive, What are those certain traits ?
General reading, take what resonates leave what doesn't
Pics not mine credits to their rightful owners
Decision is always yours i'm not responsible for it
LGBTQ friendly pac
Let me know which pile you selected!!
Your likes ,reblogs & feedbacks are appreciated (:
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Your magic lies
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In your beauty....
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Pile l . Pile ll. Pile lll.
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Pile l -
Key words : unexpected ,timeless , classic, melannial ,funky
Cards :ace of cups , the lovers r , 8of wands , knight of wands r, b.o.t.d & 3of cups oracle: scrunity ,maze
Its not hard to assume you live a busy life you could have a really comfortable style , people assume you are a cat lol not literally but you seem sophiscated you could be late and still look put together i'm getting the combination of green and black its seductive and mysterious, i feel like you could do both you could be the soft or tough based on your mood . You could be experimental you dont stay the same you ard different person every year the one who has outgrown others in the best way positively,your exchange of energy is also very positive you could be a sick child growing up so you understand the importance of being included, you are not complicated to handle pile l , you dont need others approval let people in let people help you you dont have to do things alone you can rely its an honour you are not a burden and you should know that .
I'm getting Cinderella here she's really down to earth and determined if she wants something she gets it i dont feel like others know a lot about you , you could feel people stare at you for a longer time like they keep an eye out for you , you have a really butterfly effect 🦋, others can see you but they cant touch you now idk why it's coming up here , you could move alot like you're really cheerful as well as suspicious of your surroundings 😭✋🏼, you could talk with everyone im getting others anticipate seeing you they genuinely love your energy. Im getting cancer eye's your eyes could be really loud and expressive it gives away what you're feeling , you could look confused and awkward there's this introspection energy to you its really lively like a kid who's just out here experiencing life but then not everyone has their attention they like to have attention on themselves and they dont trust a lot of people its the vibe yeah , i'm getting people have a friend crush on you like they want to approach you get you know you more invite you to places but the energy you give off is not for everyone you could be an ambivert im not necessarily getting like you rub people off the wrong way its just they dont know if you'd be open to them and their offers you could have a tight circle around you thats why i was getting people hear a lot about you through others and its really exciting, people rather observe you than approach you ,you can work together collaborate with each other but you dont like to blend in with people initually its not forced you form alliance with others naturally, you need to be sure of them first .
Yeah but i was really sad channeling that people want to approach you but you know they're nervous that you would reject them 🫠and i really think they should make the first move they wouldn't be rejected yeah they feel like they miss out and kind of support you silently but at the same time they wanna know whats up ? Ahh a little bit messy energy here if they're just listening and making assumptions then its a little bit intrusive to wanting to keep up with you but i guess people are curious. You could have been rejected when you were younger ,made to be feel like you have to be a certain way only then others would accept you i feel like you outgrew their stupid expectations you are now a person with dignity you have a righteous energy to you ,you can now speak for yourself and thatsa positive change you didn't grew up to hurt others if you were hurt you grew responsible & confident and i admire that .
You could have romantic body type you look really cute and sweet. ,shimmers could suit you a lot its like silk ,scarf , pastel colours yeah thats how i would describe it , i feel like most of the times you are unaware of the attention you receive lol im getting people could hear abt you a lot from others like oh did you see this ...they went ....there .....they did this. You could have suffered from low esteem issues in the past that could have effected your confidence a lot to the point that you didn't liked to stand out even though you have an appealing beauty like everything looks good on you , you are peoples dream person but then what is the problem? I really dont want to put you in a box and say you have a boy/girl next door.... puppy beauty because i feel like it cant be defined by one thing ...i cant talk abt your hair or eyes or face i have to know other sides of you ,you are not just a pretty face you are wise and emotionally intelligent which others lack & its a damn big thing , you would never make fun of someone in the name of gossip with the knight of wands here you are good when others are good to you . you know your worth if someone's disrespecting you they would get a reality check you are not all flowers and tears im also getting you have kind of a bad rbf when you're mad its over its wrath otherwise you are sweet and look uninterested most of the times 🕴️you could not even fuck with a lot of people you're just your own person . (By fuck i mean interact n keep up )
Others love how you are thoughtful of little things they could feel you have a really positive influence on others people idealise you for your knowledge you dont have a one way response for a situation you will either make people understand rather to criticise or humiliate someone. While shuffling i didn't get a lot of things your energy should be studied deeply to understand where you're coming from i cant just demand things ,i cant just pick and name you ...i 'm really loving your vibe 🦄 i wanna know more , dont hide your face with your hairs. , dont cover your marks w/makeup ,don't feel a certain way abt yourself you are really pretty the kind of beauty to draw others dont make people stalk you lol be open and raw i picked up ..a lot of nervous energy 👀you influence others to acknowledge a deeper part .
I would describe you like a Melanie Martinez song particularly :
Thanks for reading!!!
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Pile ll .
Key words: peaceful , tolerant, monument, majestic, hot headed
Devil r, queen of cups , knight of swirds, 3ofcups, kingofwandd- b-t-d oracle-harmony , miracle .
Okay people are really emotionally drawn to you i'm getting you dont demand attention but you attract it people in this pile feels very invasive as well . With the knight of swords others feel overprotective of you they feel rejected i feel like you are over protective of your energy as well ,you have good sense of boundaries you might be a rebellious person but you dont come across as that you are seen in a carefree and sweet manner ,someone who's just content and is mostly busy with their own stuff they wont find you bitching abt others , you're focused on creating something also i feel like you dont go with the hype cause its useless you feel like energies are ever-changing what's trending now wont be trending later so its useless to buy stuff thats of no use . You are really classy we know you won't be talking in the air .
People fantasise about you you could be young and it could be uncomfortable,the truth is there's this traditional role that people go in ,they want to provide and take care of you ...yikes it feels like self assesed ,you could be favoured in your family or friend groups .I feel like people feel guilty and sad if they kind of dismiss you or disappoint you there's this commanding energy which i'm picking up on but i dont know how its not coming across as that i feel its very subtle that makes the difference lol.
With king of wands others feels like you dont give them the time of the day that you're here for your own benefit like you could interact with others on some tasks ,you could be an outgoing person good with everyone but the energy is not i'm up on your face its just there its comfortable with you ,others feels like you're moody yeah like you have your days and they should respect that but some people take it on their ego.
You could have surprising hobbies that attract others ,you could think about things very deeply its like you provide others with a fresh perspective you could have been named as the alien someone who doesn't think like others yeah its an very outstanding interpretation that i get from you also its like we dont have to try hard to make an effort your energy is like air its very welcoming its not rigid or pushy its flexible its forthcoming so its quite easy to work with you to interact with you i'm also picking up on this protective barrier i feel like people dont respect your boundaries so you have this aura or this glance that intimidates others its like they cant just push you around they need to be respectful you could have came from a family of responsible strong women's who most likely took care of a lot of things so its impressive.
Your energy reminds me of shark you'know how sharks have this big energy, how shark moves really slow but when they attack they're very aggressive also they have this sharp fins and teeths that you'know gives us an indication that there could be something dangerous lurking so you haave to be careful,you could have had emotionally absent parents or you could be raised by a single parent so growing up you really aim for this stability i feel like you're a really simple person who has had it rough and others can feel that . I'm picking uo a liberal energy here someone who's interested in philosophy,arts , literarure ,fashion .
You could be excellet in multitasking you could have developed different skills ,i'm getting finance and other teck skills as well you could have good sense of health ,humour ,time management, its like you dont stop you just keep moving onto better things you know how to take care of yourself how to navigate things through,how to influence others whats good whats not its like you are not easily swayed by others opinions or is afraid of controversies you dont like to waste your time youare really strong internally. You could be a counsellor you influence others in a manner where we understand our own value and is motivated to push through, we can learn a lot from you because you're an open person someone who doesn't take advantage of others you help them in the right direction and thats refreshing,you could work in health secter as well i'm getting dentist people could feel relieved or relaxed after sessions or you just has this energy which is comforting very Libra liks .
With the devil in r combining with the queen of cups people cant manipulate you or play any games its just not possible i feel like you could organise things or you could be a leader its like you will pick up on things quicker i also feel like people are intimidated by your Beauty you just come across really content and sensible its like you will not talk we have to come towards you yeah pile2 i feel like your energy and just gow you present yourself the things you say is magnetic and Inspiring, you are thoughtful philosophical being who's doing something in life you understand the privileges and whatsoever of life . You are just livin' in the present trying to make sense of the present moment not worrying abt future inventions .you have high standards and that's impressive cause not everyone is willing to make a change in themselves,some are dimming their light to fit it but they end up feeling rejected right .
I'll describe you as a kali uchis song particularly:cause you bring a lot to the table
Thanks for reading!!
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Pile lll.
Key words: optimistic,smitten, courageous,sour candy , committed
Cards : the world ,7of cups ,3ofswords r, 10of cups,9ofcups, the wheel of fortune, 5 of cupsr b-t-d oracle : lover ,foe
You guys are charmingg people look upto you , you have a certain amount of influence you know your self worth you worked on it , yeah lets end it here 😭
Ok there's a lot to say you give off *rich , stable ,bold , sophisticated vibes honey you ain't takin shit from no one you have always stood up for yourself you dont let yourself be down by the people who haven't done shit in their life ,you have gone through shadow periods and came out strong as hell nothing can pull you down you are set in your own ways people love to be in your presence whether they say it or not , i'm getting this outside looking in energy where others look how abundant you are, how blessed you are , how much you have faced but still you are not a loser who would hurt others just because someone hurt you ,you will fight back you will show them its not all done your journey begins when you do self discovery you teach people to be raw and to forgive oneself .
people come to you for advice they know you will tell them as it is sometimes we just need a push to do things and you helped them with it there's this really uplifting energyto you its overwhelming i cant just note down certain characteristics of yours no i'll have to study ,i'll have to wait and discover,ill have to get you know you on a deeper level ,i have to know how you made yourself when no one was there for you and that i could do it too , its very 9th house energy where you are creating things for you ,you are not blindly following traditions you are not blinding teaching others , you are interested in deeper meaning of things and it reflects in your behaviour i feel so heard and seen in your presence you are not that person who'll just say things to say you will accomplish them .
You are not gonna follow someone just because they're good looking with zero morality,you are not that typpa person and its admirable , others see in every step you take you are unleashing your potential a lot of people admire you for the things they cant do not everyone is brave to even think and establish yourself outside of your circle, outside of what you were taught you stick to your principles. You might feel i'm exxagerating but no pile3 you deserve every bit of it . I feel like you have a lot of good things coming for yourself its very 1st house energy here that i'm picking up on you will get a stage to shine bright .
I'm getting in a very brave sense that others tend to think of you in a good light some people could've underestimated you never really supported you but you dont need them you never did ,you had your goals and it is your life you realise that pile 3 . Its almost shocking how you take change and make yourself much stronger after every transformation . You are not fear you are action and you are not filtered truth you are raw and connected with your roots.
Pile3 i acknowledge your growth and what it took you to get here. I'm feelin' this is a really interesting protoganist thinker pile who's seeking their free will who's just this dream person like a magician someone who dreamt of things and now mastered the skills , little things make changes wow 😭let me speak lmao i just chanelled it it came like a hurricane . People feel like you have a lot of options its like there's this feeling of inferiority in your partners that you attract they dont recognise their value but i feel like you have a positive influence on them , you are an experience to live pile3 its that amazing energy that i'm really getting, i feel like you guys could have bugged down by others a lot when you were younger your ideologies didnt matched you grew up questioning a lot of things you were interested in exploring different worlds you didn't wanted to go by the book you are like a bird no can can tie you down in one way or other , you are gonna shine people could be jealous of you but thats normal someone has to be shitty and thats not on you so dont take it to heart , others are constantly impressesed by your inner strength even though they wont say it they know you are doing the right thing even people with strong opinions realise this about you but there's this shame of not recognising your potential or constantly projecting their negative feelings onto yoh but you have outgrown them pile3 you donf need to be associated in a certain way you are your own individual and people should remember you for that and i can assure you , you are gonna get there you are gonna make it big there's this stability and fire within you that cant be tamed .
You could be a writer i feel like you attract a lot of potential partners like fr y'all , even if you're not a writer i wanna listen to what you share , i wanna study you thats how intense the energy is its like you never stopped levelling up damn thats a lot . I feel like your looks are deceiving but hey have you seen what have i done? Do you know what it takes to be here ? TO BE MYSELF .yeah pile3 thats it for you . I cant describe you in one word i'm sorry .
I'll describe you like a Beyoncé song particularly:
Thank you for reading!!
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