#i dont know where to put this pain i never feel at home anymore

[austinsastrology8991]

Saturn the father you always wanted and always have. Saturn in da houses, and why your life sucks. Im blunt here so don't complain don't read if you can't handle the reality of saturn. Saturn in the first house - okay you don't like to try when you present yourself, you think people should just instantly respect you because youve been through many trials in life... well people usually dont know how to talk to you because you have a stick up your ass. Saturn in the second house - everyones greedy, but when you are, its not cool. Well it isn't because when you are greedy you act like a goblin. be more mature its okay to be greedy but your acting like its a virtue stfu. Saturn in the third house - everyone thinks your dumb af, and you are only because you lack confidence to drive your points home. you just need to learn how to communicate better, your not dumb but you act like a dumbass. Saturn in the fourth house - sad boy/girl now everyone knows you had a rough childhood but would you grow up already, everyone else has but your still stuck being sad about how life has treated you (or your momma/dadda) grow up your not getting any younger you can't change the past stop wallowing. the past has taught you well, use it to your advantage or let it hold you back. Saturn in the fifth house - pretend players who get played everytime. Always gotta pretend like they are fun but whenever you do try to have fun with them they are annoying. yes you could be fun in the bedroom simply because everyone knows your too sensitive to break someones heart... because your heart is the most broken. Saturn in the sixth house - the real try hards always putting in 100%. suck ups to there boss or whoever is above them. but when there authority disrespects them they go rogue and try even harder just to spit in there boss's face. i respect it because i got cap here Saturn in the seventh house - if your a bad person good luck in this life, because your karma is received ten fold by your partners, they always like to complete your karmic cycle because thats just how it works idk. so better act right or your partner will ruin it before you ruin yourself.

Saturn in the eighth house - will do anything to get to the top. no pain is too painful. well it all is, but the ends justify the means. when they put there foot down the whole room shakes. so when your making a move make sure its the right one because your power plays are on display for everyone and itll make or break you more than the other placements. Saturn in the ninth house - lazy asses, always looking for an easy way out. they know what the right thing to do is, but the likelihood of them doing it is never. its because saturn restricts there luck/ mind and they just have woe is me energy and its annoying make better choices, and if you dont stop crying about it. but if they act right saturn blesses them the fuck up. Saturn in the tenth house - okay these people think they are better than everyone and deserve everything, but they never receive the applause they crave. its never enough even if the whole room is looking at them they suddenly don't want it anymore. there karma everyone can see, and if its too good it feels like a curse, and when its bad and reality comes crashing down they just want to hide but they cant. own your life or it will own you. Saturn in the eleventh - there community will give them there karma, always these people dont have a place where they feel safe. because they never make anyone feel safe around them, then cry when no-one gives them that favour. stfu and treat us better and maybe we will do you better. Saturn in the twelfth - okay apparently this is where saturn is in its joy, and i guess its because god/ spirits judge you. and i guess thats a good thing because if anyone should judge you its him. except the pain here is you have ultimate freedom, you rarely get signs on what to do. will you make the right choice or the wrong once? well they are lucky because they always get there karma quickly so they can always recover fast. but these people struggle to empathise because they don't feel the energy of the room. sooooo just grow up you got the best saturn, and your karma resides is in your empathy. disclaimer - saturn wants you to be the best. and no one is.... so i like to think if you want a sense of direction (where are you going wrong) look at the saturn house and if you are successful congrats your doing saturn right. but be careful he always thinks you can do better, and he loves to humble you. so be-careful out there.

#house placements #saturn aspects #astrology observations #astrology notes #astrology houses #astrology placements #astrology blog #astro community #astrology

[shapard]

hi shepard, i dont normally do this, but i really like your wrighting and i was wondering if you did requests if you could do a lucifer x hellborn!reader where its just a lot of comfort, like the reader lost someone really close to them or something. if not, then no worries, dont feel pressured or anything 💛

Scarlet

Lucifer x hellborn!reader

A/n: I never really said that I do request but I'm really happy if I get one. So, no Worries<3 I hope it's okay That I put a little Angst into it.

Soft Lucifer, comfort, Angst

Words can not describe what you feel right now.

Your heart is pumping so loud in your chest as you read the red ink on the white Paper. You don’t want to believe it. It seems impossible. But it’s standing here red on white that your precious mother has passed away in a gang battle of those damn sinners. 

Your tears soften the paper and the red ink smeared the down written words. Your body starts to shake under the pressure of anxiety. 

Lucifer was out on a meeting with the other six sins.

At first he didn’t even want to go on a meeting knowing that your mental health wasn’t on its best shape. The panic attacks were way viler when he was not there. 

Nonetheless you told him you were fine, and he will go to this meeting. He was hiding all those years and you’ll not be in the way of a reunion. 

At first you were doing alright. Watching your comfort movie with your comfort snack was relaxing.

Your pajama was comfortable and your favorite plush was seated on your belly. You giggled at your favorite scene and hugged your plushie more on you.

A loud knocking hollowed through the huge Mainor you now call home. Lucifer didn’t tell you; he was expecting something. Confused you pressed on pause and walked down the hall. Your tail tangled itself on your leg hoping for some comfort. 

As you opened those huge doors a small Imp, just like you. He gave you a black Envelope with your name in white ink. The Imp gave you a slight bow and left fast. 

You walked down the hall back to the bedroom. You opened the black envelope and read the content.

Now you were at the verge of a panic attack. 

Sweat pearling down your forehead and you rolled into a small ball on the floor. The papier laid on the red carpet and you are right next to it.

Your tail was wrapped around you, yet it didn’t help you to feel connected to your body. You shook hard but all you could focus about was your mind running.

Memories of your lovely mother, the one who read stories to you at night to cradle you. 

The way she smiled at you when you told her you were in love. How she told you she’s so proud of you. How he held your hand through your marriage. 

And now she’s gone. 

Killed brutally like the Imp she was. Like the Imp you are. Another proof that no one cares about the life of an Imp.

The ringing in your head just seems to get louder, louder, and louder. Clutching your hands on your head trying to ease the painful headache that had begun.

Your breathing was starting to get heavier and heavier, it got to the point where you thought you couldn’t breathe anymore.

A hand pulled you out of your curled form pressing you on his chest. You immediately recognize that this is your husband.

Lucifer whispers in your ear and stroked your back in a comforting matter. He cradled your body and kissed your cheek multiple times.

“Everything is okay, I’m here. Just take a deep breath in... And out.” You followed his instructions. In and out. Your hand grasp around his torsi pulling him even closer.

The oxytocin was filling your lungs again and your broken cries filled the air. 

Even after-hours Lucifer never let go.

Lucifer doesn't know what happened that cost this state, but all he knows is that you need him. And that's exactly what he's going to do.

Lucifer carried you up to your sharing bed when your light snoring reached his ears. He hugged you close shutting his eyes, grabbing your waist tightly making you feel protective.

______

You rubbed your eyes exhausted from the panic attack yesterday.

As you spun around to look at your husband, Lucifer wasn’t beside you. Again the anxiety filled your ribcage, it was hard to breath.

“Lucifer?!” The door of your shared bedroom sprung open reveling your husband in one of those silly aprons he has. Your body quickly relaxed at the sight of him.

“Darling you’re awake!” His smile was precious and contagious. He moved rather fast towards you, and he stumbled. With grace he caught your breakfast and smiled nervously at you. “I made for you breakfast!” You laughed at his antics and took it out of his hands.

You gave him a peck on the lips and sat down on the bed. Lucifer followed you to the bed but didn't sit down.

Lucifers eyes sparkled when you ate his food. But frowned slightly when you suddenly stopped eating and played with the food.

With a sigh be plopped beside you. “Babe,” He placed the tray on the nightstand and intertwined your hands in his. “You know you can tell me everything.” You nod as you looked on your intertwined hand watching as he strokes his thumb on your hand. His clawed nail tapped on your shared ring.

“Look me in the face, darling.” His other hand moved your head upwards and your e/c orbs meet his red scarlet ones.

Without much thought you gave him the letter you received yesterday. He released your chin and took the letter out of your hand. Lucifers eyes left yours hesitant and he skips through the information. 

His hands clenched around yours in a comforting way after he finished. “Y/n I’m so sorry. I…” He took a deep breath and pressed you again onto his chest. “Everything will be alright darling.”

Your crying was breaking his heart. But letting out emotion is better than letting them eat you up. He knows it the best.

You two had almost a whole spa day.

Lucifer took care of you perfectly, just everything you needed.

His hand in yours like he promised in the wedding. Through thick and thin. The whole day, it was just you and him with pure affection. 

Lucifer and you were cuddled up on your couch. Your head was resting on his lap, and he played with your hand strands. “I Love you, Y/n Morningstar.” He said and pecked your lips. “I love you too, Lucifer Morningstar.”

A/n: I hoped you enjoyed what I wrote❤️

💫

@i-have-no-life-charlie @sirenetheblogger @concentratedconcrete @ylovei @cimadreamer @ayanazoldyck @froggybich

If you want to be added click on Taglist

#shapard #lucifer #lucifer morningstar #lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar x reader #hazbin hotel lucifer x reader #y/n #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel #hazbin lucifer #soft lucifer #protective lucifer #lucifer x reader #this man is such a romantic

[peppermint-toads]

okay i lwk dont know if this is what you were wanting in ur most recent post but what if simon got hurt and had to go on leave for like a couple months and his relationship with his girlfriend/wife isnt the same as when he left? like in a ‘we havent talked in two months’ kinda way? idk this might be a stupid prompt lollll

i loved this request! thank you!! i hope this is what you meant. let me know if you want the happy ending bc there is no comfort in this muahaha

when simon came home, it usually wasn’t for very long. the two of you were usually motivated by the lust that had built up over the weeks and months without seeing each other.

the two of you got together at a young age, you were all simon knew. you were his everything. maybe it was because he didn’t have the time to find a new something.

so, when simon was injured in combat and ordered to go on leave for the next few months, things felt… weird.

the first week was business as usual, there was hardly a moment you weren’t stuffed full of his cock, completely and utterly overwhelmed by him (all while minding his injury, of course).

the second week was. awkward.

you didn’t know why you suddenly felt weird brushing your teeth in front of him or putting on deodorant.

maybe you’d grown apart without even realizing it. years had passed since you met him, the two of you growing up with stints of whirlwind feelings meshed in between.

you’d returned to the apartment one day, finding simon settled comfortably on the couch. when he heard your voice, he tensed.

“hey,” you said softly.

you wanted to sob. you didn’t know where this pressure came from, and you prayed it would stop.

“how’s your arm feeling? i know the doc said not to mix alcohol with your pain meds, but i snuck you some beer if you want one? Like old times?”

you were glad he was facing the tv so he couldn’t see the hopeful sparkle in your eyes as you recalled all the late nights you’d shared together, sitting on that very floor, eating greasy pizza and drinking cheap beer.

“i’m alright.” he grumbled. “where’ve you been?”

you could tell he was disinterested, only asking to be polite.

“just lunch with audrey, then some errands. that’s all.”

“audrey? who’s audrey.”

you sighed. he’d met audrey before. you’d been friends with her for four years. she’d come over for dinner.

maybe he was just adjusting. that’s what you told yourself, and that’s why you never let him see you cry.

you were trying to be reasonable but all these questions began swirling around your head.

did simon even love you anymore? did he ever? did he meet somebody new? did he waste his life on you.

before you could say anything else he was standing and heading towards the bedroom.

“i’m going to rest.”

he closed the bedroom door, a silent way of telling you he didn’t want you joining him.

#simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley angst #simon ghost riley angst #letters

[atinyniki]

stay with me...

group: stray kids !

pairing: idol!lee felix x f!reader

genre: angst with an angsty ending, fluff at the beginning

warnings + additional info: pt 2 of “instant ramen”!, reader is referred to as y/n, established relationships, felix is referred to as lix, and lixie, petnames, pregnancy, miscarriage, post-loss depression, crying, vomiting, death.

authors note: all i can say is sorry. i dont know why exactly i thought of this but im planning on making a pt 3. hopefully this doesnt break your heart :( ending was a bit rushed bc i didnt feel like crying anymore :( this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 2407

(pt. 1) || (pt. 3)

HUGE TW, PROCEED WITH CAUTION: miscarriage, pregnancy, blood, and the pain that goes along with it.

“lixieee im home!”

you came home with such a big smile on your face. you were a little grumpy about work, your mood swings not making things any better, and you felt a little sick. nonetheless, you were still excited to come home to your boyfriend.

“hey pretty! i’m making some brownies, just give me a bit yeah? they’ll be done in 20”

you walk over to him, giving him a quick peck on the cheek and thanking him before leaving to your room to go shower. 

throwing off your clothes, you enter the shower rather quickly, hoping that it will refresh you enough. you run the vanilla shampoo through your hair, the feeling of the bubbles running down your back relaxing you. 

all of a sudden, the scent of vanilla hits your nose, an uneasy feeling washing over you. you finish your shower as fast as you can, putting on your clothes and then rushing out the bathroom. maybe you were just hungry?

“hey lix”, you said with a weak smile, sitting down at the table where he was waiting with leftovers from yesterday and his brownies. 

“hey angel, you hungry now?”

“mhm…”

he dumps the food out onto your plates, but you grab a brownie before even looking at the food. felix’s brownies could never get old. you take a bite, the warm fudge practically melting in your mouth.

you enjoyed the brownie, and felix began to pick one up, when suddenly your eyes went wide. the same terrible feeling was back, except stronger now. you tried to fight it by swallowing the part of the brownie that was already in your mouth.

the feeling didn’t leave, and you found yourself scrambling to your feet to stand up. “baby… what’s wrong?”

you couldn’t answer, afraid that the bits of your brownie would end up on him, and instead ran to the kitchen sink. felix made sure to follow behind just as fast. the second you got to the sink, you were letting go. 

felix watched as you vomited out the brownie and the rest of the food you had today, quickly grabbing your hair so it wouldn’t get in the way. his other hand ran soothing circles around your back, hoping to calm you down.

you threw up with such force that bile shot out your nose, felix now becoming even more concerned. once you’ve calmed down and washed your face, felix finally speaks up. “let’s get you to bed baby.”, he sighs lightly.

he quickly picks you up bridal style, setting you down on your bed carefully. you let out a little whine when felix left, but quickly returned with an emergency bucket. “just in case”, he said with a sweet smile.

he brought the hair dryer from the bathroom, not wanting you to get sick from the cold, and quickly blow dried your hair. he didnt work on styling it, wanting you to get rest as soon as possible.

he quickly runs to grab you a jug of warm water to place on your tummy. you loved that he was so attentive to you, especially on days he was back at home. “i love you lix. i’m sorry for what happened”

“it’s not like you could control it dummy, go to sleep now. i love you”

that morning, felix woke up to an empty bed. the bucket next to you was filled to the brim with bile, felix instantly darting to the bathroom. his heart broke seeing you on the floor, vomiting into the toilet as you shook violently.

he quickly held your hair back again, rubbing the soft part of your tummy to soothe it. “baby what’s going on? did you eat something?”

you shook your head, not trusting your own words in case vomit came out instead. you’re tired, completely worn out. it feels like all the energy in your body has just left you. 

suddenly, a wave of realization comes over you, and you begin to panic. you’re constantly vomiting. you have terrible mood swings. you didn’t get your period. everything lines up perfectly.

your breaths become labored, soon becoming large gasps for breath. “felix- i…”

he begins to become extremely worried. “what baby? what’s wrong?”

“i…”; you can’t go on. you’re exhausted. it’s the last thing you remember saying before you black out, almost falling into the toilet if felix weren’t holding you back right now. 

“shit- y/n? stay with me okay? i’m calling an ambulance.” 

felix struggled to stay calm, tears running down his face as he tried to stop his voice from quivering. “my girlfriend, she needs help. she’s been vomiting like crazy and- she’s passed out right now”, he said it so fast the dispatcher almost couldn’t understand him.

the ambulance was at your house within minutes, felix holding you in his arms again while he waited. he could still feel your breath fanning over his neck, a sense of comfort washing over him. quickly, you guys took off to the hospital.

“felix?” 

“oh god baby! you’re awake? are you feeling okay?”

your head hurt a little, and you were incredibly confused, but you decided to tell him anyways. it was probably important. “my head hurts a little bit, but that’s okay” 

he holds your hand, clutching tightly, afraid there’s actually something wrong.

the doctor opens the door, sitting on one of the chairs next to where all the machines are hooked up. “okay so, we’ve figured out why you’ve been vomiting so much.”, she pauses.

felix is practically squirming in his seat, afraid for the words about to come out of her mouth. “congratulations, you’re pregnant.”

all of a sudden, his hand lets go, instead using it to slap it over his mouth to conceal his squeals. you jerk your head towards him, afraid of his reaction until you see the tears in his eyes and his bright smile.

you smile back, turning to the doctor who hands you a paper with an article about pregnancy and the symptoms that go along with it. “thank you so much”

“of course, the release forms are at the front desk. call if you need anything. once again, congratulations you two”, she says with a smile.

once she leaves, felix couldn’t hold back, kissing your face practically everywhere. “oh my gosh! y/n!”

you couldn’t help but laugh at his excitement. you were so happy he wasn’t upset or anything. you’ve been wanting to start a family with him for as long as you could remember, but you’re not even married yet. 

suddenly, your thoughts hit you like a boulder. “felix… what about the media. what do we tell everyone” 

he paused for a moment, he didn’t even think about that aspect of it. “i’ll call them. i’ll call management. if they say it’s not acceptable then fuck it. i’ll quit my job. don’t worry about them, please?”

you smile at felix’s dedication for you. you knew he was going to be such an amazing father.

“wait seriously?! she’s pregnant?”, changbin giggled excitedly.

“seriously. she’s pregnant!”

felix is at the dorms right now with the boys, and he couldn’t be any happier telling them about it. management was very happy for him and understanding of his situation, but he didn’t want to release it to the media just yet.

it’s nearing your third month now, your exhaustion becoming more unbearable by the second. you believed you could push through it though, waiting patiently for felix on the bed.

felix makes it home that night in an exceptionally happy mood. he smothers your face in millions of kisses, holding your hands tight and giggling into your neck. “i love you so much. i can’t wait for our little sprout”

it was difficult to keep his excitement contained around you, but he knew he didn’t have to. you are just as excited as he is.

you slice open the cake, a myriad of pink candies falling out the center. you were so excited to have your baby girl, you could already predict how well she and felix would get along.

“see?! she’s a girl. i knew it.”, seungmin said smugly.

“shut up, we get it. you were the only one that predicted she’s a girl anyways”, jisung replies, jokingly aggrivated.

“yeah, meaning i’m also the only one that was right”, he retorts with a wink.

jisung rolls his eyes, moving to you to give you a hug. it felt awkward hugging all the boys with a baby bump in the way, but it wasn’t all that big yet, so it wasn’t too bad. you continued having fun at the party, singing with the boys the entire time.

you’re so happy your girl is being born into such a good world. you’re lucky all the boys love you so much, you know they’ll all be amazing to your little sprout.

minho looked at you with an incredulous look on his face. “so you want me to make you tteokbokki, but instead of gochujang you want me to use… nutella?”

“i told you man, her pregnancy cravings are fucking crazy”, felix chimes in.

you quickly nod at minho, who instantly gets up to prepare it for you. there’s not a lot that minho wouldn’t do for you or your daughter, considering the fact that you’re best friends already. 

“so did you just call me here to cook because felix sucks at anything without a recipe?”

“for the most part yeah”, you let out a giggle. felix walks over to you, kissing you again and peppering them all over your face. a particularly loud groan leaves his lips, and minho jerks his head towards you both.

felix gets off you not too long after, but only to wrap you in a hug from behind, holding your bump up to ease the weight of her. minho visibly gagged at the sight of you two, “okay can you guys stop making out and actually talk to me now? i don’t feel like third wheeling”, he joked.

all three of you began to laugh, you were so excited to start this new chapter with felix.

fuck. what is happening? why does your heart feel so heavy? why do you feel so uneasy. maybe you’re just upset, you’re fine right? you sit on the bed, watching some edits of felix- your guilty pleasure.

all of a sudden, a sharp pain hits your gut. you groan out in pain, tears flooding your eyes. you begin to get up, trying your best to make it to the bathroom. you’re suddenly throwing up again, and you didn’t think anything of it since it was pretty normal. 

once you clean yourself up a little, you make your way back to the bed. the sharp pain hit you again, this time making you sink to the floor as you clutch your stomach. “fuck…” 

the feeling in between your thighs becomes uneasy, becoming excruciatingly painful. you feel something dripping down your thighs, taking a quick look at it. there’s a pool of blood dripping down onto the hardwood floor, when the pain comes back.

the tears leave your eyes in heavy sobs. you can’t pick yourself back up, the pain becoming unbearable. you’re too weak to make it anywhere, so you try to scream.

you attempts fail, crawling to the bed to grab your phone. you didn’t make it in time. your body gave out on you, blood pouring out from you. you didn’t want to die. you just wanted your sprout. why did this is have to happen?

“y/nnie! i’m home!”

your head jerked up in the direction of the door. you let out a guttural scream. “felix… h-help… please…”

your voice got weaker, not even being able to find the strength to talk. felix rushes to your room, and the world around him stopped. his heart shattered in his chest, immediately calling an ambulance.

“baby… no! stay with me… please. deep breaths okay? you’ll be okay.”

he listened to the dispatcher for instructions on how to help, your eyes slowly fluttering shut. you’re too weak to carry on.

you woke up in the hospital, your baby bump suddenly gone. you touched around your tummy, looking for your little sprout. you noticed felix right next to you, eyes red and incessant tears pouring down his face.

he’s trembling as he grabs your hand, running his thumb over your knuckles. “if i had just gotten there sooner-“

“no felix i… im so sorry. i failed you… i failed our sprout.”, loud sobs filled the room, not being able to contain your emotions anymore. you had lost her for good. she was gone. 

“it’s… not your fault. rest now okay? you lost a lot of blood. we can talk in the morning” 

he gave you a quick kiss to your forehead, and you shut your eyes. the sleep never came.

you and felix are in bed again, just like you always were. but things were different now. everything felt empty, depressing. you felt empty. you didn’t have your sprout with you.

felix asked to go on hiatus now, wanting to be there for you in every moment. he became hyper-attentive towards you, scared that you might go down a bad path.

the miscarriage took a toll on him just as much as it did you, except you were focusing on the physical parts more. felix watched at night as you stared at your own bare breasts after a shower, producing milk for a baby that wasn’t even growing inside of you anymore. you ran your fingers along your many stretch marks, the skin on your tummy becoming flabby and soft. 

you felt ugly. felix was still there to reassure you through everything, but you didn’t know what to do. you blankly stare at your messages from time to time, getting many from your family, close friends and the boys, checking up on you frequently.

felix doesn't know what to do anymore. he doesn't know if he can live with the pain, knowing what could’ve been. it hurts you even more to see felix like this. the sunshine in him has been dulled out, the only thing left are his eyes, swirling with only pain now. 

the guiltiness overtook you most nights, felix holding you tight as you both cried again and again. you haven’t slept properly since it happened. seven fucking months.

so close, yet so far.

</3

#skz #skz x reader #stray kids fluff #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids x reader #stray kids #stray kids angst #skz fanfic #stray kids x y/n #skz angst #lee felix #lee felix x y/n #lee felix angst #lee felix x reader #skz felix #lee felix yongbok #lee felix skz

[heartfullofleeches]

What if incel reader wants to turn a new leaf but V is making that extremely hard since he's fueling reader's gaming addiction and reader decides to leave him, albeit very reluctantly

(Angst time)

[Guys, I just got my first job! Didn't think anything would come in so soon since I just got my degree. Dont know when I'll have the time to log on, but I'll miss you. Take care.]

It happened again. This is exactly why you rarely played multiplayer anymore. Time and time again, people would detail their milestones in life, never to be seen again. New career. A baby. The list went on and on and on. It made you think about your life. Quitting your job and leeching off someone who gave you his all to play video games nearly twenty four hours a day. It's pathetic. You're pathetic- but you dont want things to stay this way.

You tried so hard to turn yourself around. Applying to jobs in the area, cutting back on your time online. The jobs never got back to you and V would remind you of a new dlc coming to a game you loved, pulling you right back in. V. You don't want to admit it. You wished for a reality where it wasn't true, but he was your biggest obstacle. His care, as well meaning as it was, was weighing you down and leaving you forever a shell of the person you were growing to be. If you wanted to get better, you'd have to let him go.

"H-hey, V. There's something I need to talk to you about. Before I start, I need to say that it isn't you. I love you, but I can't do this. Maybe, in a few years we can meet up and start over, but for now I-"

You choke. Tears flow in your reflection. You break down, crying over the bathroom sink for the millionth time. Even in practice, you can't stop yourself from falling apart. Your cries rebound against the walls, through the crack in the door where angry eyes watch as you wilt away on the bathroom floor. They're torn between comforting you, and breaking your computer to atoms. As much as it bound you to him, V always knew there was a possibility that it could tear you apart just as easily. He decides to take the third option, and quietly leaves the house.

-

"Fuck. Fuck. FUCK."

V slams his fist into the steering wheel. He claws at his skin, picking at his filth ridden body and attempting to relieve his air flow as he hyperventilates. You can't leave him. You can't. He can't go back to watching you from afar, wondering how you feel beneath his touch. Having that beautiful grin directed at him. He felt horrible to see you in so much pain, but he refused to accept fault. To let you go. He just had to ease up, give you some of the freedom you so desperately craved.

-

You're sitting on the couch when he finally returns home. He uncharacteristically quiet. You rise, chewing on your lips.

"V, I-"

He hugs you. "It's okay."

Your eyes water. "No, it's not."

"I was here earlier..." He squeezes you tighter. "I heard everything you said."

By the way he shakes, you can tell he's crying too.

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be... Let me help you."

"How can you possibly help?"

"My parents. They own a company. We can get you a job. Mail room, office work, it doesn't matter. We can switch off on the housework, go out more. Please...."

"I don't want to lose you, Y/n."

You crumble, sobbing like a baby as you cling onto him and use his shirt to catch your tears. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You've done so much for me and I was just going to leave."

V hushes you and rubs circles into your back. "It's okay, baby. You'll get better and everything will be okay. Okay?"

You sniffle as he wipes and kisses away your tears. "Okay..."

"Good. I'm gonna go take a quick smoke, but while I do, you go get dressed so we can actually go out tonight. Sound good?"

"Yeah.." You smile a bit. "It does."

"Good." V kisses your forehead and you part ways. Walking outside and leaning against the railing, he pulls put his phone and dials a number. What he didn't expect was an answer on the first ring."

"Hey, Mom?... Yeah, it's me. Listen, I need you to do me a favor. Can you give my partner a job? Nothing too crazy, just something to keep them on their toes. Give them a couple promotions maybe, then fire them in a few months. The cameras in the main building are up to date, right?"

#V my oc #yandere oc #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere imagines #yandere x you #yandere insert #male yandere #yandere headcanons #yandere blurb #yandere scenarios #yandere angst #yandere drabble

[444rockstargf]

euronymous and reader have a huge fight and euro ends up getting so mad at her that he hits and she starts crying immediately and he feels so bad because he promised her he would never hit her no matter how mad he got anyways he’s like apologizing and kissing her and like carry’s her to their room but she’s still tryna put up a weak fight but she obviously gives up really fast and they just lay in bed while euro holds her and continues to shower her with love and apologies (ik u kind of already made one lik dis but i eat these up everytime mb)

ask & you shall receive (omg i think ive been spelling that wrong the entire time)

"why are you so mean?" | euronymous

meet me in the pale moonlight. - lana del rey

✮⋆˙ [tags] @faesucksass @lustkillers @mayathepsychic1999 @josibunn @si1nful-symph0ny @vanlisbon @simply-stellarr

female!reader x euronymous

word count: 888 (lucky number yall)

contents: angst

“why can’t you just listen to me for once?!” you latched onto his arm as he started to storm off. he immediately pushed you off, shoving you back into the wall. “why can’t you try to have a normal conversation?! having to listen to you whine every day has become such a pain in my ass and i’m sick of it!” he snapped back at you.

euronymous had come home after a bad day. you’d tried to cheer him up by cuddling with him for a little, only resulting in you getting pushed off. you’d asked why he was so upset, but that didn’t go so well, and that’s how you got here.

“can’t you just tell me what’s wrong?! i just wanna help you but you keep shutting me out!” he tried to walk away from you again, but you stood in front of him, blocking his path. he stares daggers at you as he speaks his following harsh words. “well maybe i don’t want a whiny little bitch getting all up in my business. ever thought of that?”

you stood there, staring blankly at him. euronymous had gotten mad at you before, but it had never to the point of him insulting you. a wave of anger washed over you. “how could you say that to me?! i’m you’re girlfriend, for crying out loud!” you started backing up from him a little, bracing yourself for a loud response. 

his pale cheeks flushed red. “oh yeah? well maybe that’s where i went wrong in the first place! you’re so clingy it’s like i’m not even allowed to breathe when i’m around you!” you noticed that his fists were balled and trembling slightly, but you paid no attention to that. “well maybe if you communicated with me more, we wouldn’t even be having this argument! i feel like you don’t even care about this relationship anymore!”

“you think i dont care? you’re the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. never forget that.” his tone is more cold and bitter than you’ve ever heard before. you think that he might truly mean everything that he’s saying to you, and the thought makes your entire body weak. you feel your heart breaking with every word he says, but manage to get one last thing out. “i wish i never met you! this relationship was a mistake.”

you saw him raise his fist. before you could process another thought, you felt a firm hand strike you right on the cheek, surely leaving a bruise. you fell to the ground, the impact being strong enough to completely throw off your balance. euronymous glared at you as you struggled to get up. “say that again, whore. i dare you.” you managed to stumble up on your feet, holding your cheek gingerly. you looked at him with tear-filled eyes before running off into your bedroom, only catching a glimpse of his regretful expression.

you walked in and slammed the door shut behind you, collapsing onto the ground as you choked out pained sobs. it didn't take half a brain to know that your relationship had been falling apart, but you’d been trying your best to revive things while they could still be saved. but maybe you were screwed from the very beginning and didn’t even know.

your thoughts were interrupted by a gentle, almost nervous knock on the door. you weren’t in the mood to talk. “go away.” your voice was raspy and slightly muffled. “angel… please…” you couldn’t quite make it out, but it sounded like he was crying. you sighed, standing up and walking over to the bed, sitting down with your arms crossed.

he opened the door, sheepishly peeking his head through the crack. he met your angry gaze with one of pain and regret. he slowly walked in, closing the door behind him. he couldn’t look directly at you as he sat beside you on the bed, but you could tell that the argument was killing him on the inside. “...i’m sorry…” he whispered so softly that you could barely hear him.

he scoops you up into his arms, planting a soft kiss on the place where he hit you. you were still giving him the cold shoulder, refusing to let him think that you had forgiven him. he wraps his arms around your waist, holding you like you were a fragile bird that had fallen out of its nest. you refused to even look in his direction, but the way he peppered soft little kisses all over you made it difficult to stay so mad at him.

you half glanced at him, but that was all it took to bring a little smile onto his face. he laid down, pulling you on top of him as he kissed your forehead. “i know i’m an asshole. i’m so sorry for what i did… i-i didn’t mean to break my promise…” his voice broke midway through the sentence. 

you sigh, looking down. he looks at you directly in the eye. “i’ll never hurt you like that again. i swear it.” the way his voice shook told you how much he feared losing you. you rested your head on his chest, hearing his heart racing. he wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close to him and letting you know that he would never let anyone hurt you again.

author's note: this was a little rushed, im sorry :(( and it was in my drafts for a long long time. but i hope you liked it :)) xoxo

#rory culkin #euronymous #lords of chaos #lana del rey #444rockstargf

[sscrubberhose]

Ya got any dialtown headcanons? :3

hooo boy. ive been chewing on this all day and I think i have a decent amount to say!

Spoilers for Dialtown!

Tw for mentions of suicidal ideation and religious guilt

Phone/Typegingi:

-Is aware of everything that happens in my fics but forgets

-is more aware of how people perceive them than people give them credit for, wants to make everyone happy

-has a strong fear of being alone, which is why they bother people so relentlessly. if they were to be fully ignored for an extended period of time they would have a breakdown

-Has both the phone and the typewriter head and can change them out at will, dont ask where they keep them.

-has bitten theoroar many, many times and will do so again. is even more fearful and hateful of him after the zoo explosion

-has a lot of love to give and genuinely prefers being around their friends

-has a level of intelligence that is genuinely sort of surprising sometimes. this intelligence is used at random

-is surprisingly easy and hard to kill at the same time

-the narrator is actually a separate entity to them who cares about them very much

-seems to be passively suicidal but no one can tell if theyre joking or not

-roger rabbit rules, whatever biology is funniest is what they have

-perceived height changes based off of this rule as well. no one notices.

-breaks into town hall once a month for funsies

-enjoys sweet things quite a bit

-autistic beast

Randy:

-is actually a decent cartoonist, but rarely draws due to hand pain. likes drawing gingi and oliver the most

-has a lot of religious guilt due to growing up catholic with a very very strict, religious father, left home as soon as he could. also why he is afraid to talk to God.(hobo)

-father harped on him his entire childhood about being a burden, now feels that he owes the world for existing. this is slowly healing.

-due to his upbringing hes still learning how to function as an adult, i.e cleaning, cooking for himself, things like that. hes working on it!

-has sensory issues, has ASD

-fear of cgi animals comes from having to watch weird religious propaganda films for kids when he was young. he is getting over it thanks to oliver.

-extremely observant and notices things a lot of people don't, but usually doesnt say anything for fear of being annoying

-knows shooty and stabby on a first name basis(not that he knows whos who)

-sees Norm as a father figure but would never admit that

-has a long list of phobias that hes working on recovering from, but is too nervous to go to therapy for

-has a LOT of plushies in the ticket booth that Oliver and Gingi have given him, refuses to get rid of any of them

-taking the bandage off wont instantly kill him, he doesn't know this.

-can skateboard, does not do this often

-gets sick very easily, has to be forced to rest as he tries to insist hes not sick

-is roommates with Oliver, they have a bunk bed

-got his number changed so the hotline wasnt tied to him anymore

-is actually a good singer, never sings due to thinking he sucks. Will hum to himself while working at the ticket booth

Karen;

-Has actually gotten fairly close to the other datables since the conclusion of the game, doesnt know how to express this

-Visits Dialtown for a few months out of the year to catch up and spend time with her friends

-part of her contract with helping rebuild was better wages for those who worked at the bank. It took a lot of arguing but she felt that no one should suffer like she did.

-expresses her love for her friends by making them ponysonas. Is a huge pegasister. will infodump about it for hours to anyone who will listen

-enjoys botanical illustrations the best, next to drawing horses

-draws horses with normal horse heads as a form of abstraction

-puts capsaicin oil in her paints so Gingi will stop drinking them. This did not work.

-enjoys vintage movies and game shows and talks at length with Oliver about them when they go out for coffee or dinner together.

-she and randy doodle together sometimes

-also has severe sensory issues and has safe outfits she wears. will cry if she has to touch certain fabrics. (LOOKING AT YOU CRUSHED VELVET)

-safe foods are microwave dinners and pasta, but she keeps her diet balanced.

-her and Norm get along now and will sometimes go for hikes and chat about life(and ways to wrangle gingi)

-allergic to shrimps

-can play piano

Oliver:

-Got a new therapist who doesnt think hes weird or annoying(it didnt phase him but thats not groovy to say to someone)

-has POTS, often needs to sit down at work so he doesnt faint.

-is a HUGE horror fan, could tell you everything about the behind the scenes of every major and minor horror movie to come out in the last decade.

-works as a haunt actor for the Dialtown Haunted House every single Halloween, wants to run it someday

-has a log of every new thing he notices about Gingis biology, the log is three books long now.

-Really wants to run a youtube channel where he does amateur ghost hunting with randy, has yet to convince randy that this is a good idea

-is very physically affectionate, though he does ask permission first before touching anyone!

-Has had top and bottom surgery and is comfortable where his transition is, thankfully his insurance under Mr. Dickens covered it! (Mingus isnt a TOTAL monster)

-has a digital scrap book of all his favorite memories with his friends

-makes rage comics unironically.

-favorite color is actually black, red just seems to be his thing!

-has been legally adopted by Mr. Dickens but decided to keep his last name as Swift because "it was rad."

-is actually friends with most of the ghosts and poltergeists that live in the cinema/scareshack

-kept the popcorn and soda dispensers, but got the soda dispensers to dispense SODA and not...whatever the fuck it was doing before.

-helped renovate the basement of the cinema into a haunted maze that he helped design, the theme changes once a year!

-got those unicycle lessons and knows how to juggle as well!

-likes rollerskating, has Heelys on all the time

-allergic to peanuts

-can play guitar

Norm:

-Is aware that Gingi sees the face on the sticky note change and thinks its sort of funny

-Is actually good friends with God and the two go out to lunch once or twice a month

-enjoys fishing and will take Randy and Oliver on fishing trips, Gingi usually follows regardless of invite.

-Sees himself as a father figure to most of the dateables, and is willing to fill in that role.

-apologized to Karen for his behavior by baking her fresh bread. is actually an extremely good cook

-irises and pupils are both void black due to exposure to the wormhole. He has not noticed this. Eyes used to be honey brown.

-Has to stop Mingus from doing a new evil scheme once a month, has a spray bottle for this purpose.

-does actually have other outfits for when the space suit needs to be washed, is never seen outside the house when this happens

-Oliver, Karen, and Randy have seen his real face, they were like "cool" as Gingi is just...far weirder.

-i imagine him as strawberry blonde. Short hair, either buzz cut or just short. maybe some stubble. I dont have a good image of what his face looks like, it is just bag to me

-not great at public speaking but REALLY good at pretending to be

-is actually very good at using technology but will sometimes pretend not to be just to tease Oliver.(it works every time)

-can also play guitar

Bigfoot:

-...no.

-okay okay i have one. You could use his fur to make yarn IF you washed it. You will never be able to get close enough to brush him though.

Misc headcanons:

-heads can be repurposed after death, like cadaver bones!

-the more popular headtype for modern business men and women is a laptop

-after what happened to Callum Crown, the answering machines function was completely separated from memory storage

-Snakes have syringes for heads

-peter and his wife are poly and want roger to be their third, but roger is as dense as a brick and peters too formal to just say it out loud.

-Harry and Jack are a couple in this universe, Jack is just a very odd boss to work for regardless

-Billy is Abel's kid. The mother is unknown. probably a one night stand.

-the swans miss randy :(

-there are a few headtypes that are banned for various reasons, one of which is having a megaphone AS your head.

-Roger is autistic and has a stutter, and sometimes has to use ASL to communicate. Peter knows ASL for this reason

-The Narrator could talk to the others, but only if it was an emergency

-all Dialtown OCs are canon. theyre in town somewhere, having fun and living their lives!

-Dialtown is bigger than shown in game, including the town square which has a fountain and a park surrounding it, as well as a skate park, rec center, arcade, a pizza place, etc.

-all the dateables have met satan at least once, they just didnt know thats who that was

-shooty and stabby are dating, theyre just very bromance about it. good for them...

-rotery phone heads are coming back in fashion as a sort of 'retro' vibe.

-getting prosthetics/emergency plastic surgery and medical care is actually quite accessible.

-jerry and his wife come visit dialtown every christmas soley so that gingi doesnt run all the way out there to visit them and get hopelessly lost. theyre doing quite well!

-there are competent members of the dialtown mob but they dont really do much other than hang out at the bar

if i think of anymore Ill let you know!! thanks for askin!

#dialtown #answered #text post #headcanon #sorry this was so bloody long

[marymary-diva17]

Eywa second chance (3)

neteyam x female aonung + sully family/tonowari family and others

When someone gets a second chance it means they are give, a chance to redo what they have done in the past. Angi had been given a second chance to save neteyam from his awful death that will come, and make sure everyone has a happy ending as well. Angi was wonderings if she had been deemed worthy of have this second chance or ways the great mother taking pity on her after hearing her cries of pain and lost.

angi " ........" it was early morning and angi had woken up before her father and got ready for the day, she had stuck out of the house making she not to wake anyone at the moment. once she as outside of her family pod she soon walked away from her home.

angi " okay day one of making sure everyone else has a happy future" angi was walking on the shoreline as the waves were rushing on her feet. She didn't know why she was replaying her plan over and over again in her head, she just want to make sure she was doing the right thing. She need to make sure she put everyone else ahead of her verse herself, she need to make sure everyone else was safe.

angi " well I can't stand here all day acting sad for myself ... I need to be do what I can now and deal with the rest later" angi soon decided to start on some task early she just need, to make sure she didn't get caught by any of her siblings or the sully kids. She didn't wish to drag them into any danger right now and she need to more plan, on the others ways to make the dark future some taking hold of everyone life. Angi had decided to go fishing for some breakfast for the family, maybe that had be her first step of being helpful towards her family.

angi " this will be perfect" angi had caught a good size fish and soon head back home, it will be sometime before her parents wake up. So she decided to get the cooking fire started along with everything else.

angi " perfect" the cooking fire burning well as the fish was cooking over it on a stick.

????? " angi"

angi " good morning baba" angi was looking at her father as he entered the commons area room of the family pod.

tonowari " you are up early and making breakfast"

angi " yes I wanted to be helpful as I woke up early" tonowari looked at his daughter as she was poking the fire with a stick, he knew his mates word from last night had bother her.

tonowari " ma daughter you are ...."

ronal " tonowari ... angi"

angi " good morning mother breakfast is ready and the bowls are set"

ronal " thank you and I thought you were still asleep"

angi " no i couldn't sleep anymore and decided to go out for water and caught some breakfast for the family" angi was looking at her parents, as she was making sure the breakfast was cooked right.

ronal " that nice of you"

????? " umm who made breakfast is smells so wonderful" angi soon looked up to see her sibling coming into the common area of the family pod.

tonowari " your sister had woke up early and went caught breakfast for the family"

rotxo " oh really it smells wonderulf I never knew you could cook so good"

angi " thank you well the food ready if you all wish to eat" angi soon got up from her sitting position and was about to leave the home.

ronal " don't you wish to eat with us or have some breakfast I can make, something else for us to eat with the fish"

angi " no I'm good I dont feel that hungry right now"

tsireya " once we are done eating breakfast we can start on our lessons with the sully children"

ronal " angi i hope you will be helping out more these days, young lady you have a duty to yourself and the family"

angi " yes mother I was going to make find a place for our lessons today that will be good" ronal said nothing as she started diving up the breakfast among the family.

rotxo " that wonderful sister we will go get the sully kids and meet you"

angi " okay it going to be near where we were talking yesterday"

ronal " actions are more important than words" angi wanted so badly to say something but knew that will be a bad move, so she soon took her leave from the home. heading towards the location for their lessons.

Sometime later

angi " ........" angi was standing on the rocks as she was looking out on the water.

????? " hey angi: angi soon heard her name getting called she soon turned around to see her siblings and the sully kids making their way towards her.

angi " hey everyone"

tsireya " breakfast was wonderful you have good cooking skills, who ever become your mate sister will be lucky one "

angi " thank you"

kiri " oh boy talk" kiri had rolled her eyes at the whole situation, as she watched tsireya make a funny remark toward angi.

angi " don't worry kiri we can have conversation about anything else if that makes you feel better"

kiri " well I find with any conversation only if it good"

tuk " hey angi"

angi " hello tuk"

tuk " I thought you were not going to be with us for our lesson today, when we didn't see you"

angi " I'm sorry tuk I had left earlier to make sure everything will be good for our lessons today"

kiri " well we are waiting for the boys at the moment ... oh never mind here they come" angi soon looked up to see her brother along with lo'ak and neteyam.

rotox " sister it good we found you when you left early this morning before having breakfast, you really worried us"

lo'ak "who skips breakfast that a good morning meal"

angi " I did I was not feeling that hungry"

angi " okay we should get to the lesson for the day"

tsireya " okay today we are going to working on your guys diving and swim underwater, we need to get you all stronger"

tuk " what if I cant keep up"

angi" don't worry tuk stay by me today and I will help you" tuk soon nodded her head as everyone soon got into the water, and started swimming together. Angi had held out her hand to tuk and the girl soon took it, as the two started swimming in the water. Neteyam was also swimming closer to them taking times to look at them, he will give angi a smirk.

later on that day

tuk " team I'm hungry" the kid had gotten done swimming a while ago and soon decided to ride their IIu.

neteyam " well mom is not home right now hwy don't we get you a snack" neteyam soon grabbed his blade and soon tossed it towards a tree, soon cut fruit free some the branch.

angi " we all can take a break right now we can find something for tuk to snack on as well"

tuk " yes"

lo'ak " hey what are we doing now"

neteyam " taking a break if you dont mind joining us and tuk getting hungry as well"

kiri " that will be good"

tsireya " that a good idea and there a tree over there some some good fruit, that we can snack on as well" the group soon went back to shore the boys wet to get the fruit while the girls stayed at the rock.

neteyam " we are back"

tuk " yeah fruit my favorite"

lo'ak " here everyone take one we have enough for everyone" everyone soon reach out for some fruit but angi, was the last one tp grab anything nut there was only one left between her and neteyam.

rotxo " oh no we missed one"

angi " it okay neteyam you can have it"

neteyam " wait I have a better solution for us both" soon neteyam had cut the fruit in half, making both half equal in sizes for him and angi.

neteyam " you take one half and I take the other half"

angi " i don't want to take ..."

neteyam " have some you been working hard today and helping us out, you deserve some food and you didn't eat this morning as well"

tuk " yes our dad says it not good to skip breakfast as it the most important meal of the day"

angi " okay i will have some thank you" neteyam smiled towards angi and soon sat next to her, as everyone soon started eating their fruit and talking. Angi had made eye contact with neteyam a few times making the boy smile and laugh at the whole thing.The rest of the lesson seem to be going well for the day, as angi was doing her best to be there for her new friends and showing them the ways of her people.

angi " you all did good day with more practice you all will master some of the ways of water"

lo'ak " aww and here I thought we will be learning all the ways"

tsireya " not just yet we are still the youth of the clan we will not, be allowed to learn all the other ways until we are of age"

lo'ak " well I'm fine with waiting"

angi " you are doing well lo'ak there not need to rush into learning all the other stuff, until you are ready for now we should enjoy the lives we are learning"

rotxo " wow that very wise of you sister"

tsireya " yes and they are very impressive and inspiring as well"

angi " thank you" the group had hanged out a bit more together going over the particle until sunset, angi siblings had walked back to the village with younger sully kids. Angi was putting the saddles away that were used for the day.

angi " umm neteyam you don't have to stay you can head home"

neteyam " no I wish to stay and help you after all you done today"

angi " ohh okay"

neteyam " once you are done will youy like to go for a walk with me on the beach" these walks had become something special between the two, as it will give them time to talk about anything they didn't wish anyone else to hear.

angi " sure"

neteyam " good once we are done here we can head off together" angi soon put the last saddle away, as the two of them soon started walking on the beach together.

neteyam " thank you for coming on this walk with me angi, you didnt have you and you could of made up an excuse"

angi " well thank you for inviting me neteyam"

neteyam " you were very amazing out there today angi helping my sibling and I out, that was nice of you ... along with being there for your siblings not that many will do that for us"

angi " well that cruel of them it going to take time of some of this people, to come around but I do have a feeling they will come around but I can't tel when this will happen"

neteyam " thank you angi" neteyam have smirked towards angi making angi feeling like her checks were getting hot, she soon looked away bit making neteaym chuckle at her actions.

?????? "hey you two" the teens soon looked and saw their fathers coming back from the reef, soon Jake and tonowari walked onto the shore.

Jake " I thought you will be at home helping with your siblings and mother

neteyam " oh well I wnated to stay out a bit longer and angi had joined me, after I asked her to come on walk with me"

Jake " is this true"

angi " yes it true sir neteyam asked me to come on walk I said yes"

tonowari " well coming where we are we didn't expect to see our eldest kids out together without, the rest of their group during this time"

Jake " ye si have to agree with tonowari but it good to see you kids getting along and taking time tp spend without other"

neteyam " thank you sir incas going to offer to walk angi home, as we were getting close there as I didn't wish for her to walk home alone"

tonowari " that good of you young man I respect that" neteyam had nodded his head as he was getting praise from Jake and tonowari.

Jake " well neteyam we should be getting home your mother, will have dinner ready and shouldn't keep her waiting"

neteyam " yes father well I see you tomorrow angi "

angi " yes tomorrow neteyam" Jake and neteyam soon bid goodbye to father and daughter pair in respect and got the same respect bakc as well.

tonowari " come on elt get you home your mother and siblings"

angi " yes sir"

tonowari " breakfast was good my daughter you did a wonderful job, and it make me proud of you getting out there more"

angi " thank you baba" angi and tonwari soon reached home to see dinner was ready. ronal and the two other teens were getting the home ready for dinner.

ronal " well it seems like you have been pulling yor weight around and taking your duties seriously ... good but still needs working on if you are ever to be tshaik my daughter"

y/n "yes mother"

tonowari " ronal we can talk about this later right now lets us eta dinner and speak with our children" the family soon sat down for family dinner and ate, angi was hoping she made her family proud today. She was mostly hoping that her parent will see her after all.

#avatar 2 #atwow #avatar #avatar the way of water #neytiri #jake x neytiri #loak x tsireya #lo'ak sully #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #neteyam sully #aonung x neteyam #aonunete #neteyam x aonung #aonung #tsireya #kiri #rotxo #tuk sully #tuktirey te suli neytiri'ite #kiri te suli kìreysì'ite #atwow neteyam #lo'ak te suli tsyeyk'itan #sully family #sully kids #avatar 2022 #avatar twow

[kindnessisweakness2]

10

Emily winced as the needle glided over her hip bone. She liked the pain but sometimes when the needle hit that sweet spot she couldn't help but bite down hard on her lip or pull a funny face. "So i heard that someone has become quite the special guest around Charming royalty." Emily's tattooist Mimi grinned as she continued to ink the dark black lines across the curve of her hip. Emily couldnt help but roll her eyes, a smile spreading on her face at the mention of Jax. "I dont know where you heard that Mimi, maybe the Charming gossips are wrong this time." Mimi pulled a skeptical face, the smile never leaving her. "Well if thats the case, why are all the girls in this shitty town having a crisis over the fact that Jax hasn't slept with anyone since a certain someone stormed into TM?" Mimi wiggled her eyes at a shocked Emily. There was no way Jax wasn't sleeping around. The girl she put in her place last night was clearly a recent fling. Jax's sex life was nothing to do with her. Before she could overthink it anymore, the bell above the shop door rang. Mimi removed her gloves before heading to the reception area.

Emily took the moment to breathe. She was having a 6 hour session today and was already 3.5 hours in. Cara was having a lazy day, trying to ease the hangover she was left with after last nights party. "Em, you have a visitor." Mimi spoke breaking Emily's thoughts. Maybe Cara decided to actually leave her bed today. "Oh okay-" Shifting to her side as much as she could, trying to keep her position on the bed, Emily shoved the privacy screen back fully expecting to see her best friend. Instead she found Jax stood there looking as sexy as ever, holding a TO-GO bag from Harry's Diner. Emily's eyes widened in embarrassment, she was currently half naked on the tattoo chair and clearly was not expecting her visitor to be Jax. Jax's eyes widened for a completely different reason. She was fucking sexy as hell lay on the bed in nothing but a black thong and a black V-Neck cropped shirt. The ink on her legs and stomach just added to the awe of her. The designs contrasting against her sunkissed skin. Her hair pulled high into a messy bun and her face bare of any make up. Clearing his throat Jax had to force his brain to form words. "I know you mentioned your appointment yesterday, and i thought id stop by with food." Jax could feel his cheek's tinge pink and he hated it. Emily smiled at him, patting the stool next to her. "Take a seat Teller, you can feed me while Mimi here inflicts pain on me." Mimi giggled as she took her seat, pulling on a new pair of gloves. "So much for wrong gossips aye?" She quipped. Emily shot her a look before turning to Jax as he sat on the stool. "I also need to give you the heads up that Juice is currently in your house. I think him and Cara really hit it off." Jax spoke as he opened the bag of food pulling out a coke for her. Emily smiled as she gratefully accepted the drink. "Thats fine. From the way Cara talked about him last night i think he's going to be a regular at my house. She's really into him. Hopefully he doesnt take it too hard when she goes home though, shes only here for 3 weeks." Jax nodded holding out the tray of fries for her, Emily leaning over as much as she could to feed Mimi a few. "So there was one other thing i needed to talk to you about." Emily leaned back in the chair, wincing as Mimi started shaving on the sensitive curve of her hip. Biting her lip she looked up at Jax, nodding for him to carry on so he knew she was listening. Jax's breath hitched in his throat as he looked at her. God the urge to push her back and take her right there on the tattoo chair was immense. Clearing his throat he mentally kicked himself and forced his brain to form words. "I'm going away for a few days. Up to Nevada to see my uncle." Emily hated how the words made her stomach sink. It made her realise how attached to him she had gotten. "You dont have to explain yourself to me Jax. Enjoy the time with your family." Jax smiled at her and it made her heart leap in her chest. Just like every other girl he flashed his pearly whites at. The reality was she was at the bottom of a very long list of women who would give their left leg to be the one Jax chose to have a life with. She could deny it to everyone else but couldnt to herself anymore. She genuinely liked him. "Well the thing is some of the guys are going with me, so we're all leaving from the clubhouse in the morning. I was wondering if you'd come by? Alot of the old ladies and family will be there. Cara can say bye to Juice and i can see you before i go." Emily's cheeks glowed pink as she realised he wanted her there. He wanted to see her. Mimi turned to wipe her tattoo gun and collect more ink. Emily was thankful for the momentary break, her skin was warm and sore after almost 4.5 hours in the chair. Making eye contact with Mimi as she leaned down to resume the assault on her skin, she didnt miss the smirk and knowing look she recieved. "Sure why not. Ill never hear the end of it if Cara doesnt see Juice off."

Both of them grinned wide at each other. Emily happy that he'd admitted he wanted to see her, but trying to keep her metaphorical feet on the ground that they were just friends. Even if her head wanted to be up in the clouds day dreaming about what her and Jax could have.

Jax was happy that he got her to agree, knowing already that he would miss her terribly the next few days while he visited Jury.

He hadnt even left Charming yet and he already regretted agreeing to the visit.

************************************************************************

Here you go guys!

I hope you are all enjoying this. Apolgies it has been so long since posting, i have been having issues with my account!

Let me know what you think so far and where you would like to see this go!

#jax teller x reader #sons of anarchy #jax teller #jax teller imagine #jax teller x oc #sons of anarchy imagine #sons of anarchy fanfiction

[idontknowwhoiam465]

Not Alone. Not Anymore. Not Ever.

The reader met the Doctor three months ago, and already he's become so important to her. Her anxieties about being left alone start to show, and the Doctor makes sure she knows thats not going to happen. Not ever.

----------------------------------

I'd been traveling with the Doctor for almost three months now, and already the larger than life TARDIS had started to feel more like home than anywhere on Earth ever did. The Doctor and I had settled into a comfortable companionship early on, and I could see the joy in his eyes whenever he watched closely at my reactions to a new planet, or species, or some corner of the universe I never thought imaginable.

The Doctor had quickly become my favourite person to be around. His quirky excitable personality, and outfit to match, drew me in from the moment I saw him. Whenever we were sat in the control room of the tardis and he was tinkering away fixing something or other, he'd often tell me stories of places he'd been as I kept him company. Tell me tales of the adventures he'd had and the people he'd seen. Songs he's heard, and lives he's lived.

Sometimes he'd mention a name of a past companion and a flash of sorrow would show in his eyes, before brightening up again, so quick I almost wouldn't notice. It's in these moments that I realise how lonely he gets. How afraid he is to be alone again. These are the moments that scare me. I see myself in him. His eyes a reflection of my own.

I spent my whole life caring so much about the people around me. Loving them with everything I had in me. Only for them to get bored of me, or decide I was too much to deal with, and just walk away. And it hurt. It hurt like hell. Anytime someone new would come into my life, I'd wonder how long. How long until they get bored of me? How long until I drive them away? How long before they decided they dont want me anymore?

Sometimes, when I see that pain in the Doctors eyes, I want to tell him I know how he feels. I know what its like to be left on your own time and time again. But I can't. His eyes show the pain of someone who hasn't just been left behind, but rather, had the people he loved ripped away. My loneliness can't compare to that.

Sometimes my anxiety gets the better of me. I find myself wondering if he's going to leave me behind too. If I'm another burden, that im putting on his already heavy shoulders.

I also wonder if, just as I see the loneliness in his eyes, he sees it in mine.

Of course, he does. I just didn't realise that yet.

---------------------------------------

I was too busy constantly overthinking the idea of him leaving me, that I didn't even notice everything he was doing to make me trust that he wouldn't.

The comforting smiles and endless rescues when we went to a planet, and it didn't quite go as planned. The time he put a beanbag in the control room for me, because he knew I couldn't sit comfortably still on a chair. Keeping hold of my hand, never letting go, as we'd explore dark creepy tunnels. The little music box he secretly bought for me, after noticing me looking at it longingly at an alien marketplace. And the way he seemed to know when I was afraid, before I knew myself, and made sure he was by my side.

Despite all this, my anxieties about him leaving me behind only grew.

It was when we went to Victorian London, that I fell apart.

--

I peered out of the doors of the TARDIS around the Doctor's shoulder as he (quite overly dramatically) opened them. I gasped at the snow lining the streets as the faint glow of the streetlamps lit the dark road. The snow glittered as each flake reflected the light, creating a sparkling blanket, resting peacefuly on the ground.

I turned to the Doctor excitedly, 'Where - no, wait - When are we? When and where?'.

'Victorian London,' He licked his finger and held it up in the air as he stepped out of the blue box, '1873, 5:23 pm, December 24th, Wednesday. Good. Not a Thursday. Don't like Thursdays. Today is Christmas Eve, Christmas ball day. And we,' he winked at me as he pulled out his psychic paper, 'have got an invitation.'

I stared at him eyes wide. 'Christmas ball day. You're taking me to a christmas ball. In Victorian London.' I looked outside as I breathed out a silent wow.

I looked down at the clothes I was wearing, 'Oh my god, I need to go get a dress!'

As I turned to get to the wardrobe room of the TARDIS, the Doctor stopped me.

'I uh, actually, Y/N, may have already bought one for you. If you want it that is, I don't mean to force you to wear it if you dont want to. Thats not what I want to do at all actually, I just saw it and thought you might like it. Tell me if you -'

I cut him off with a grin.

'Show me the way to my new dress Doctor'

'Well, yes, okay then, follow me'

--------------------------------------

I opened my eyes to see the most beautiful dress I could have ever imagined. Hanging in front of me was a sea of green. Layers upon layers of fabric, all folded over eachother. Stunning embroidery and beads and lace all creating so many beatiful patterns that I could sit there all day and find new designs and still find more later.

The Doctor's voice came from behind me, 'I thought the colour would work well with your hair, seeing as you insist on dying it red.'

He thought that far into it. He thought about whether or not it would match my hair. I turned to him silently not knowing what to say. Before I even knew I was crying, the Doctor took a step towards me.

'Hey, what's wrong? Do you not like the dress? I'm sorry, I didnt mean to upset you.'

The Doctor wiped a tear off my cheek as I whispered through a shaky breath, 'The dress is beautiful Doctor. Really, I love it. That's not the problem at all.'

He held his hand on the side of my face and gently asked, 'Then talk to me, what's wrong?'

'It's nothing. Don't worry about it. It's stupid.' I said shaking my head slightly.

He took one of my hands in his and looked at me with his bluey-green eyes full of so much care, 'Oh Y/N, nothing that makes you sad or hurt could ever be stupid. Please talk to me.'

'Its just, well, you're important to me right,' I managed, tears coming quicker now, 'My best friend. And that scares me. I told you. It's stupid. But everyone, everyone I've ever cared about has decided at one point or another that they're bored of me. Or that they dont want to deal with me anymore. I always push everyone away. And you're doing all this nice stuff for me. The bean bag and the music box, and now this stunning dress. And it makes it worse. Because what if you decide you dont want me anymore. I can't get left behind again. I just, I just can't. And I couldn't tell you, because I see it in your eyes. You've been alone before, but your eyes tell a different story. You weren't just left behind. I can see the pain and the grief. They were taken from you. And my fear of being alone is small and silly compared to that.' I looked down at the floor, scared to look at him and see him looking at me as though I'm making a big deal out of nothing.

I felt his hand leave my cheek and tilt my chin up to look at him. His eyes searched mine for a moment, before he pulled me in for a hug and held me like our lives depended on it.

'My amazing Y/N. Just because we feel different pain, it doesnt mean your's is lesser. You hear me? You are allowed to feel just as sad as anyone else. Don't think you have to hide it from me. And listen I am not going anywhere without you, you are coming to the ends of the universe with me whether you like it or not. You are not alone. Not anymore. Not ever.'

I pulled back to look at him, my turn to search his eyes. 'You promise?' I whispered.

'Cross both my hearts and hope to die. Well, not really hope to die, the idea doesnt seem particularly appealing to me personally. Honestly that phrase should probably have some adjustments made. But yes, I promise. You're stuck with me I'm afraid.'

My lips curled up slightly at his rambling, and the sincerity I saw in his face.

His face turned into a grin, 'There we go Bright Eyes. There's that smile I love. Now, haven't you got a dress to try on?'

I looked behind me at the dress, and turned back to him with my own grin. 'Absolutely. And then, we have a ball to attend.'

======================================

Thankyou so much for reading, it's my first fic, so hopefully you liked it. Lmk what i can do to make future ones better of if theres anything you want me to do :)

#eleventh doctor #doctor who #x reader #reader insert #fem reader #anxitey #tw anxiety #fluff #comfort

[justbreakonme]

Punching Bag

(Sorry, life is still treating me as it’s punching bag, so…yeah. Here is this.)

“Well, I see why he isn’t the spy…” Assistant scoffed, looking back at the closed door, “And if he keeps walking on that cast, I’m taping him to the bed.”

Villain can’t help but laugh. This whole situation was so ridiculous. It was so strange and strained and fucking awful that they couldn’t do much else…

Their heart was breaking at the image on him on the ground, sobbing like they had never seen anyone cry before. Begging to go home. Did he mean back to Hero and Lover? Or was there another home, out there somewhere?

Maybe there had been, and wasn’t anymore.

It was hard to imagine feeling at home with someone who had left you for dead or worse… Hero didn’t know that they were different. That they wouldn’t hurt him. He probably thought that they’d broken out the thumbscrews and the rack already.

And he still wasn’t here.

“You still want him to stay here?” Assistant’s tone had shifted back to its normal somber tone, “Even after…?”

She gestured to where he had been laying.

“I-“ they rubbed a hand over their face, trying to think, “I guess it depends on what home means.”

“If it means with Hero and Lover?”

“Then they’ve got him fucked in the head, and he’s not going back.”

The anger that had been simmering since they saw Hero and Lover drive away was now starting to boil over.

“God, Assistant, you saw what they did to him. He’s practically a kid! And if that’s what he calls home-”

“I know…”

“I’m no angel, you know that, I know that, everyone knows that. But-“ they were shocked to feel tears coming on, “How could someone do that? They’re supposed to protect him…”

They wiped their eyes angrily. Hero and Lover had always been bad, but now, this was too far.

Assistant laid a hand on their shoulder. “Well, let’s hope that home is somewhere else. If not, he stays here. Safe. Alright?”

“Right,” they took a deep breath, pulling themselves back together, “Sorry, I just-“

She waved her hand dismissively. “Don’t apologize. You’re right.”

They stared up at the ceiling, sick to their stomach.

They’d been replaying the events of the day over and over in their mind, putting things together. It was too much.

Too much for them to just lay here.

They shoved themself out of bed with a groan and started towards the garage and their punching bag.

At least they had a punching bag that didn’t have feelings.

As they wrapped their hands, pieces started to fit together.

It had always been like that.

It’s why they had started doing this in the first place.

The first few strikes eased the sick feeling, cleared their head a bit.

We’re going to keep him here overnight. Then, tomorrow, we find out where home is.

Left hook.

If it’s somewhere else, we’ll have to cross that bridge when we come to it, but god that’s a bridge I want to cross. If not…

Right hook.

If Hero and Lover were all he had for a home, then I’ll make him a new one. Build it brick by fucking brick if necessary. But while that happened, he’d stay here.

Jab.

While he’s here, he’ll need medicine. Food. Sleep.

Cross.

He’ll need to know that no one deserves to be treated like that.

Crescent kick.

Especially at the hands of a mentor.

Side.

Not him.

Push kick.

Not me.

Roundhouse.

Not anyone.

They unwrapped their hands, letting muscle memory guide them into the shower.

They’d thought they were over this already. That they’d made their peace with it and left it behind but…

Back in bed, the sick feeling quickly returned, but thankfully exhaustion won out this time, and a dreamless sleep pulled them out of reality, past and present.

Tagging list:

@bleeding-letters @jadeocean46910 @summer1359 @hurtmebeautifully @haro-whumps @circus-of-pain @harri-007 @cupcakes-and-pain @blancasin @dont-touch-my-soup @celiacprincess @whumpitywhumpwhump @annablogsposts @epiclamer @aethernorwood @wolfeyedwitch @siren-of-agony @whumpy-butterflies @lettucecabbage-kun @suspicious-whumping-egg @pigeonwhumps @a-star-with-human-name @monochrome-episode @suffering-and-misery @briars7 @justice-for-rei @stayarmy321 @sacredwrath @dungeon-roomba

#whump #whumpee #caretaker #rescue #kidnapping #hero whumper #villain and sidekick #villain caretaker #sidekick whumpee #hero and villain #left behind series

[pompadourpink]

Bonjour! I just saw the ask of the lost 17 year old and I cant help but feel like Im in a similar position. I'm 28 years old and I feel like I shouldve figured out what I want to do in life. I feel like I wasted my 20s on simply going with the flow and "ill figure it out later" mentality. I've also recently been fired from a job I should love but after three months I found so boring. I stayed there for a year just to get some exeprience. Now that Im unemployed again I get rejected over and over again and feel so useless. Even for jobs Im excited about the passion fizzles, and I dont even know what I want to do. Or what I'm even good at anymore.

Hello dear,

Dr Write too much, PhD, is back in the office, woohoo!

One, you're not supposed to have an epiphany one night and find out what your calling is. You don't have one. You're not a machine. You're a brain in a meat suit and you came without instructions, which means you don't have a function. Capitalism put us in this position. Existing is enough, and work is a human invention - food and shelter originally didn't have a price tag. We tend to think of the Ancient Greeks as the most advanced, wisest civilisation there's ever been. Do you think they wondered about what their manager is going to say if they dodged their phone call at 9pm on Friday or lost sleep over getting ghosted on Tinder? No, they had a lot of wine, a lot of bread, a lot of sex, and walked around in beautiful gardens with their companions. And they didn't feel bad about it. Why would they?

Two, you can reinvent yourself as many times as you want. Storytime!

When I went to Rome for my birthday back in 2018, I bumped into a Colosseo guide named Tahar who was around my boomer father's age and so happy to make a friend he started telling me about his life over breakfast, how he had studied physics, loved the stars, never had a family so he travelled a lot, had been in Rome for about a month, and gotten the job by hanging out around the Colosseo and having little talks with other guides in French, English, Arabic and broken Italian until their boss decided to hire him just because he was friendly. He even confessed that at night, he would go and have a drink in fancy bars to try and find tourists to sell tours to at a higher price so he could pocket the difference.

At the time, I was nearly 26, ten days away from leaving a terrible minimum-wage job, had lived in the same area of the country my whole life and the same city for 8 years, had a recently broken heart and was still recovering from a severe case of mononucleosis that is still to this day the worst pain I've ever felt.

I didn't stay in touch with Tahar because he got flirty and started insinuating that it wasn't too late for him to settle down and have a kid or two while holding my hands and that was not going to happen. However, I still think about him once in a while, when I catch myself being paralysed by fear of the unknown.

My guy had nothing, no house, furniture, wife, kids, local friends, parents, savings, was paid to ramble about history and make jokes in the sunshine, lived paycheck to paycheck; and he was happy, tanned, eating fruit and drinking wine with a huge smile on his face nella bella Roma, kilometres away from thinking of himself as a failure. He was doing exactly what he wanted, and where, and when, and with whom, and while he clearly wasn't a role model, he is the one person I have ever met who lived life on his own terms and is 100% going to die without regrets.

Three, take a step back. I talked about it recently but it is vital that we calm down and stop chasing numbers and short-lived adrenaline. Go spend a day outside, at the beach, in the countryside, the mountains - it doesn't matter, just away from home, and lay down, relax, and listen to what the world has to say to you. We all love to think that happiness is our number one priority, but it is rarely the case - I hinted about it in the 17-year-old post: if you think of your perfect day and compare it to your current circumstances, those two lists would be very different. We keep talking to people who make us miserable, eating stuff that gives us tumtum aches, wearing shoes that hurt our feet, and wonder why we are upset and can't sleep well.

And I'm guilty of that too. I have always had that mental image of the seaside, a walk on the beach, the sun, a dog, lavender ice cream, a man and a couple of kids running around, and then home, a movie, a blanket, the fire. I don't have any of that. I live in a very grey city, alone with my geriatric cat, working all day long, not knowing where to go, changing my mind constantly, thinking maybe I should just stay here and keep saving money for a house, drowning in my routines like a little hamster on a wheel. I love my life, but I'm not satisfied yet, because like you, my 20s were spent differently, and now I'm trying to catch up a little.

The truth is that I'll never be where my former classmates who took a different path are, but they will also never be where I am. They have more regrets than me. They look at my life, my freedom, my absence of morning alarm, my joy, my projects, my head full of dreams, and they envy me. I am *that girl* who spent an hour this morning looking up how to move to Barcelona as an entrepreneur within the Schengen space. You are her too, people just won't tell you.

So what do you do now? You find a part-time job you're not going to hate and won't have to take home at night so you can pay bills, you look for your joy until you find it, you explore your interests, figure out your goals, maybe see if you have a (current or potential future) skill you could use to start a side-business, alone or with another person, whether it's baking or tailoring, that you could do routinely without hating yourself after a while, and spend your free time doing exactly what you want. If it fails, the end of the road is very far away and you can always try again.

It won't be a waste of time. That's not how time works.

Love,

Mum

#ask #malks

[internet-overdosed]

What's the point of living? like, genuinely. All i do is wake up, dread the day, power through the day, and then go home and go to sleep.

There's not much to it, I'm not smart, i never study even though i want to, and when i do get the motivation to study i never actually remember anything. I'm a below average student, no one in my family would be proud of that.

I have classmates who consider themselves my friends but honestly i feel no connection towards them. People online are a similar story, i do care about them though. Sometimes i love someone so much it flips a switch in my brain and i start hating them or i start being so scared of them that i cry whenever i even see their name.

I have no one, and no one has me. I'm in a constant cycle of loneliness but its no ones fault other than my own.

I don't have talents, i suck at everything. And even in the things i have skill in, its never enough, im always worse than the people around me. Art, music, dance, everything.

I'm ugly, im overweight, im just a fly that happened to land on an incomplete masterpiece. a fly that dies from being trapped in the drying paint.

I have a terrible personality, a personality i steal from the people around me. And right now ive stolen it from someone who didnt care for me or my friends and deeply hurt them.

I've hurt so many people. People who loved and cared for me. I've abandoned so many people. I myself am scared of abandonment, which is why i leave people first. Which is something i didnt even notice about myself until my best friend (who i later abandoned) pointed it out.

When i try to make friends or talk to people i always mess it up and say the wrong thing, they always end up hating me or thinking i hate them and i just dont know what to do anymore.

I'm always sad and lonely and i just wanna die. I don't even deserve to feel that way cause ive had a pretty good life.

My mom tried her best, she had a fucked up life and turned into a fucked up person. She tries her best though. She deserves better than some rat child who hates her because her best just wasnt enough apparently. sure, i live in a room where theres no space cause theres trash everywhere, i have to share a bed with my mom, but thats nothing compared to everyone elses issues.

My life doesnt matter, its just a cycle of pain i put myself through.

I just want one person i can love and who loves me back, thats all. Thats all i want before i end my miserable little life.

#i originally planned to end it on march 5th 2027 but i believe it may be sooner than that #i cant do it anymore #i cant #i really cant #🎀 ame types 💉

[seramilla]

I feel like the worst part about Clara and Velvette’s relationship is that Clara knows Velvette thinks she is giving what she thinks is love. This only makes their relationship more toxic. It forces Clara in odd scenarios where everyone is telling her Velvette is trying to hurt her, Velvette is manipulating her and that might all be true but it’s because she doesn’t know how to show love in any other way. The fact Clara is one of the only people who probably knows her past with her parents and Velvette coming from a broken home only adds to her own guilt for leaving Velvette. I imagine at one point she just snaps at Odette.

“I CANT STAND THAT WOMAN! SHE GOES UO TO YOU PUT HER HANDS ON YOU KNOWING YOU HATE IT AND THINKS YOU WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH HER? SHE’S INSANE! THAT WOMAN IS PSYSCO-”

“SHE’S TRYING! YOU DONT GET IT! NONE OF YOU GET IT! I MIGHT HATE VELVETTE BELIEVE ME I DO BUT SHE DOESNT UNDERSTAND! SHE TRIES TO SHOW SHE CARES AND EVEN THOUGH I REFUSE TO PUT MYSELF THROUGH THAT PAIN ANYMORE YOU CANT JUST CALL HER THAT!”

“… Clara, why are you defending her?”

“I… you don’t get it. Velvette is complicated she wasn’t raised the way we were! Her parents- I- I shouldn’t say anything.”

“What about Velvette’s Parents? Clara what did they do that made Velvette this cruel?”

“I can’t say. I promised Velvette I wouldn’t tell anyone and I’m not going to break that promise! Odette, promise you won’t tell anyone what I told you?!”

“I-I promise.”

Velvette opens up to Clara because one, she doesn't actually think she'd been paying attention, and two, she sees herself as invincible, so she doesn't think sharing a little detail about her past with Clara would ever come back to bite her. Velvette never hesitates to vent to anyone who will listen, but unlike most people, Clara had actually heard her, and absorbed everything she said. Velvette makes fun of her parents for dying before she'd even made it to Hell. What complete, catastrophic losers they'd been. They'd never cared about Velvette, and treated her like their property. But Velvette had gotten the last laugh in the end. Their pathetic demise by Extermination serves them right.

Odette has good intentions, trying to protect Clara from Velvette. But she doesn't understand Velvette the way Clara does. Underneath the bluster and bravado is a sensitive person desperately craving validation. Not the superficial validation she gets as an influencer, but a genuine, mutual connection that she doesn't have to fake. Clara's always sensed this about Velvette, but the other woman would never admit it. She'd rather double die, then show an ounce of weakness. If only Odette could understand. Maybe it would be okay if Clara told her. Odette would never repeat a secret she told her in confidence. She trusts her sister wholeheartedly.

#hazbin hotel #clara hazbin hotel #odette hazbin hotel #velvette hazbin hotel #ask #anon #fan theories

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

I cant remember if i already sent in an ask, but i dont know what to do. Seven months ago, my dad relapsed back into his alcoholism. One night he got drunk, left my mom in an empty parking lot where my brother and I had to pick her up, and when we got home he had trashed all her things and threw her stuff out onto the front steps. It isn't the first time he's done this, my whole child it's all I can really remember him doing, but for awhile things were okay. Once he saw us though, he was an animal. He attacked my brother and they fought and we all had to pin my dad down while he screamed he'd kill us all. Once we thought it was okay to let him up, he lunged for my mom and my brother took the hit and they fought again. I had to call his brother, my uncle, to try and reason or stop him.

He nearly starts fighting my uncle, breathing heavily and his eyes just wild. I remember staring him dead in the face while he threatened he'd put a 40 in our skulls and kill us. That night we grabbed what we could and slept at my uncle's. The next morning, he felt guilty and apologized repeatedly but I blocked his number and refused to speak or see him. I still live at home though, meaning I'm still in a way in contact with him.

I'm done. I can't take it anymore, and what's worse is I'm alone in this decision. My dad is by no means a perfect person, I'm not either, nobody is. But this was too much and I've made my choice. My mother keeps trying to convince me to heal and accept my dad because he's an addict and given different circumstances, if I had an addiction or eating disorder, they wouldn't just abandon me right? But it's not the same, it really isn't.

I do have an eating disorder, I have CPTSD, I'm in pain and have been for a long time but I handle it and it's not something I let them see or know. What's his excuse. He's been abusive, manipulative, vile, and I can't forgive him.

I guess recently my dad had a small heart attack, and who knows maybe he'll die soon. But I don't feel anything about it. There's no anger, no sadness, no rage, just nothing. Maybe I'm in shutdown. Regardless, I'm not sure what's right anymore. I'm going to be saving up to move out, and if I don't have enough then I'll live in my car. He can kick me out for all I care. I can't stay anymore, not here.

Rent is insane where I live, I'm not sure how long it'll take for me to save or if I'll even achieve this goal, but I need to do something. Everyday gets worse and I can't keep waiting for another bomb to go off, or for my mother to comfort me by saying "the bomb is okay, accept it." She asked me to go a therapy session with her you know, mother daughter therapy. At first I agreed but after what she said today, she can forget it. Even after all this time, she doesn't understand. She never will.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through. There is absolutely no obligation to forgive him. It's reasonable to resent him even if his behavior is related to substance abuse or whatever other excuse is given. Even if someone adequately takes accountability for their actions (which it sounds like he doesn't) you still don't have to forgive them, and it doesn't mean you aren't allowed to still feel hurt. It almost sounds like your mom is an enabler. You've seen a long pattern of violent, threatening, and hurtful behavior from your father, and so it makes sense why it's so hard to be convinced that he's something better. It's okay to not worry or even grieve if your dad passes away, especially in context. Do consider that if these violent episodes continue, it may be necessary to call the authorities, though it can definitely be easier said than done.

Although I completely understand your reasons for not wanting to go to therapy with your mom, being able to speak with a therapist could potentially help you a lot in processing these experiences and your feelings surrounding them, regardless of whether or not your mom benefits from it. It could be an opportunity to meet with that therapist individually as well, and they may be able to see the situation for what it truly is.

If anyone has any comments or suggestions feel free to add on, otherwise I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw substance abuse #tw death

[zak-shit]

road trip mental dump

sitting in a car for an 11 hour road trip leads to me thinking quite alot. We are currently about 4 or 5 hours in?

Life has been brutal lately. we lost Lisa, and we lost Tony this past week, I've felt terrible for Candy. I truly don't know how to keep pushing in a time like now. I began to cry for a moment on the drive, thinking of the love I have for those in the car with me right now. and of how terrible it will be to lose them one day. Life is too short yeah yeah.. but holding so much love for people, having these people in your life, whoever they are bring you so much happiness. To just be gone one day? Never to speak, look at you, no breathing, no heart beating? Where does that love go? I think It's still in your heart. I think the happiness, and love you feel for those people are still there in your heart. the memory stays, and when you love someone that becomes apart of you. but the comfort you feel from being with that person is gone. The deep breath of safety, relaxation together. That might be the hardest part, not having the comfort anymore, the hugs, the laughter. The stimulants in our brain that come from those people. I don't know how we recover from losing so much love. I don't even want to imagine the pain at the thought of losing people in my life like my mother and father, sister, my animals, all my friends. I have so many people in my life, which is great, but with the deaths in my life, as well as the people I know experiencing their own. Leads me to think about death as a whole.

The world is so tough, for a moment the other day I had the thought of how nice it would be to die myself. For all this stress to end, to escape this world. But I don't want to imagine people mourning me. That is a pain that never really goes away and I dont want other to experience it.

truth be told I am hot right now, but I have two blankets over me for comfort. It is nice being a passenger for a road trip so far, besides one of my airpods just died so I'm no longer fully submerged in my own music world. I do wish I had the windows down lol but I'm excited to get to our destination and very excited to see snow for the first time <3 Those I love will always be with me, and I will always be with them. I just hope everyone I love knows how much I love them.

This drive also makes me think of my last road trip, when I was just starting things with my last relationship, I was giddy with excitement. Had the playlists for the whole drive they made me. Excited to come home to them. Now I feel silly for that, I feel silly everyday for putting the energy I did into that person. sigghhh what a waste lol

but now Im excited for other things to get home to sometimes. over all im much more exctied for the escape I get the next few days and wish I could be gone even longer lol. this time is just very different and I am understandably, and thankfully in a different headspace/ person. and thankfully so. It's important to change.

This trip I will have a good time, I wont worry how others are perceiving me. I'll feel free. I hope I get a good cry in though, I need it.

#journal #road trip #diary entry #death #loss #follow for follow #dealing with grief #grieving #heartbreak