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#i dont know these people like that
inkskinned · 8 months
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
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mamawasatesttube · 9 months
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BTW... PSA.... even if we arent mutuals if youre in my notes regularly theres a Very high chance i am still fond of you. yes im vaguing someones tags on the compliment the person u rbed this from post. but like. positive vaguing? THE POINT IS im weird abt following ppl but IM STILL SENDING U FOND VIBES...
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jame7t · 9 months
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whenever someone is like weirdly hostile or needlessly rude to me online i just attribute it to the fact that theyre obviously just an alt account of the one person i cant stand. this isnt true but it means no haters exist in my eyes
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catmask · 4 months
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sometimes while i think about that while a lot of adults did not treat me very well as a kid i also get a lot of 'in hindsight this person was so good to me and i didnt even realize it until now' as an adult. today i was thinking about how the first anime convention i ever went to was when i was 10 and i asked the man working the manga cafe what manga was/what a good place to start was (because the con was very overstimulating for me and i had gotten lost) and he asked how old i was before recommending yotsuba and asking if i wanted any water or something to eat. its really simple but theres a lot of bad things that couldve happened or he could've been careless in his recommendation, but instead yotsuba has remained one of my favorite manga for years, and probably a large portion of why i continue to read manga as an adult... i think adults who try to involve kids in the world safely/kindly even in little ways make so much more of a difference than they ever really know.
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wu-does-art · 19 days
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coming out as a "Will snores obnoxiously loud" and "Nico breaths so quietly you can barely tell hes alive" truther
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machinerot · 3 months
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onwardmeteors · 3 months
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this has been said a million times but I will literally never get tired of the way announcements/promos for good omens always have to hype it up and make it sound like some high stakes fantasy spectacular as though we don't know full well the actual plot is gonna be like. aziraphale and crowley do a little dance. aziraphale and crowley put on silly outfits. aziraphale and crowley drive around in a car.
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faunandfloraas · 2 months
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Honestly I think a lot of people who have never made a gif for tumblr don't get that it does actually take time and effort, its not just rip it from a video and post it- you have to download the video, in my case I have a video player installed that grabs continuous caps, figure out what parts you need, you have to open those in photoshop or gimp, depending on where you got photoshop you might be paying for it every month and then on top of that is actually sizing, cropping, colouring, sharpening, adding text, etc. etc. like it is something that takes time and effort for which the only real reward is creating something that makes you happy and hopefully people reblog it with a nice or funny tag, so maybe keep that in mind the next time you think gif makers are being mean or unfair for being upset about reposts. It is its own little artform that is fairly unique to this website, and that's a big aspect of why I have always loved tumblr, if all the gifmakers stopped posting things would be a lot more boring around here.
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faineant-girl · 4 months
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ohhhh bisexual man save me........ bisexual man............
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spamtons · 2 years
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we NEED to bring back that old clip art style. im talkin stuff like THIS. i want it back
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otpadsis · 7 months
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creekfiend · 2 years
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While I'm talking about social stuff I had to learn as an autistic person
There's a LOT of social interactions between human beings whose purpose really boils down to being like that thing dogs do where they go "omg YOU'RE a dog??? I'M a dog!!!!!" And that's not a bad thing. Highly ritualized "meaningless" displays of human connection like friendly greetings and talking about things like weather actually do serve a purpose which is like idk ritualized displays birds do. YOU'RE a human? Omg I'M a human!!!! Wow!!!
And they don't have to be your favorite flavor of interaction. You can even think they're silly. But they DO serve a purpose or else they wouldn't be a thing.
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catmask · 10 days
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okay. say i were to have a hand drawn frame animation. and a background i wanted to animate via tweening. and i wanted to composite that all together into one scene on one program. i already have the assets drawn but i need to put it all together in a very specific what.
What Fucking Program is that because ive been crashing my photoshop trying to do it in there and i KNOW i can make smoother animations than what its tweening feature allows. also it doesnt have timeline layers which is annoying asfuck
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donutdisturblivball · 8 months
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i cannot believe the gabriel/beelzebub shippers were RIGHT. they went off of like a minute long interaction in s1 and RAN WITH IT and their characters got to run off together into the sunset because heaven is wherever they are and hell is wherever he is and THEY WERE RIGHT
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heartscrypt · 10 months
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OH MY GOD WAIT I NEED TO TELL THE PEOPLE. ok so. you know how magicam is the twst version of instagram. i dreamt about the twst version of tinder.
it's called cinder (like cinderella) and its tagline is "find your prince before the clock strikes twelve". its gimmick is that when you make a match with a person you have 24 hours to talk with them. if you like them, get their contact information before time runs out. because otherwise you're never fucking seeing them on the app again IT BLOCKS THE OTHER'S PROFILE. this is where capitalism comes in though. through a paid subscription, once per day, you can "leave a glass slipper" on a match's profile. it functions as a bookmark and keeps your conversation open for another 24 hrs. after the time is up you can keep the glass slipper there to extend more time or remove it to leave it on someone else's
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felixfeliccis · 3 months
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:/
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