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wcoastboy · 3 years

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the feeling of disgust

I’m not sure if I talked about this here but this is something that’s been going on for a while. I think the first time I felt it intensely was in 2014. It usually feels like a nostalgia, not by a time long gone that I have lived, but by a time and a life I never have. I don’t mean that nostalgia that I feel when I see ancient ruins and I wonder and wander how was the hedonious pagan life, and it is also different when I fantasize about medieval europe or glamourize the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s and else. this nostalgia I am talking about is accompanied by a melancholic feeling, and sometimes it is even bucolic as well, as I usually associate it with the countryside and with summer. it is also followed by a deep, intense feeling of rejection, not belonging, not being a part of something, not beinig welcomed, not seen as an equal, not desired, backstabbed, not enough.

I am not very aware of where this comes exaclty, I am really not sure, sometimes I theorize if I never felt so much cared for by my father, if my sexuality’s journey made me feel excluded, or if my mixed background had to do with it. regardless, today it also involves the perception of men about me.

this has been a long going issue for me and to be honest is excrutiating to write it down, I am not even sure if I have the grammatical skills and vocabulary to translate my feelings into words. but I can recall several instances in which I felt this feeling of disgust. even within my bestfriends, because sometimes I wouldn’t go out with them as much, and I remember that since I was a kid. sometimes amongst muslim acquaintaces I would feel like an outsider, as I am a roman catholic, but among roman catholics, I would feel like an outsider, as I part of my family is not catholic. amongst groups of european descent I feel like an outsider, as only part of my family immigrated from europe, but I would not necessarily belong with the latin kids either, or the lebanese ones. I would not be able to relate to the lower middle class kids, as I never experienced their struggle, but I could not fully understand the wealthy kids either. I was never friends with guys because they were not sensitive enough to undertsand me, but I always felt a bit left out with the girls because there was always a moment that “you wouldn’t understand” (which I wouldn’t, as I am not a woman).

with the popular kids I would feel like an outsider, as I was not as popular as them, and with the normal kids, I would feel like an outsider, as I was more popular than them. with atheists I would not feel comfortable, as I am very absorbed into the divine and mysticism, but with religious people I will not feel comfortable either. I cannot relate to people that do not fall under beauty standards, but I cannot have the priviledge of people that do. I am too masculine, traditional, mongamous for some, I am too feminine, lustful, modern for others. It is never here, it is never there, it seems always in between. its quite lonely sometimes. and, regarding what triggered this feeling this time....well, thats quite another paragraph.

so I met a guy.................................does it always have to start like that? lord. anyways, similar shiny qualities I adore; handsome, tall, slender, stylish, smart, etc. we discussed a more friends with benefits sorta arrangement, but within two days of me talking to him he starts saying things like “your lashes are making me fall for you,” which I felt a bit uncomfortable because it was toooo soon. and when he came to my apartment he insisted that even if I was not looking for romanticism at the moment, that he would still try to win my heart or some (what appears to be) bullshit like that. I did not get any of my hopes up, I was (am?) truly not interested. (plus, I can see the type of men he is interested in; fit, tall, older, and I am not so much the style). but I am a *cancer* for god’s sake, of course having a pretty boy telling me such things will get me intrigued?? but few days after he seems pretty cold (whereas im just the same), and etc. maybe im not the shiny new thing anymore but still, makes me wonder. the thing that gets me sad is: he stalks me and starts following a buch of other gay men in my account that he had no knowledge of prior to meeting me (????) and I *despise* it when gay men do that, because they do it so, so oftenly it sickens me.

*this* reallllly triggers my feeling of disgust, how could someone possibly begin something, start liking someone etc, try to build any sort of romantic relationship with the idea that “well in case this does not work out at least I have these new guys I could hook up with” ?????? does n o t make sense. nevertheless, I dont mind about the guy itself as much, its the banality of this action that bothers me, the constant obsession with instant gratification amongst cis gay male is beyond. this put other things into perspective tho, it triggers my feelings that I dont belong in my own community, or that - because many of them come with this “Im falling for you” discourse - they do not see me as equals, perhaps if I was fitter or more popular, but for them, they can **** whoever they want and then I could be waiting for a fairytale (which I do, not from them). and then this also triggered the fact that he is richer, fitter, and freer than me and we are both the same age, and I feel like I do not feel for him as much as I feel for the feeling of not belonging, of being rejected, because “well, just in case, I am already following someone prettier anyways.” and it is disgusting because he - albeit being colder - is still telling me things about how he wants to conquer my heart?????????????? girl bye.

situations like this create a very strong feeling of digust from me, not the “ewww” disgust, the “oh this attitude sickens me,” and it makes me increasingly distrustful of the gays... regardless, I do know that a lot of this is within me, because as soon as they are colder my mind goes to that place where I can see all of them hanging out without me, pool partying without me, because anyways I am not seen as their equal. a behavior that emulate similar feelings in mass, in academia, in brazil, in my friend group, within my family. its almost as though I immideately, unvoluntarily, (and sometimes irrevocably) take myself out of a situation, in which I was inserted in, and I start watching it from above, I aqcuire and oberver role, a narrator, and I am suddenly not a protagonist anymore, and perhaps I just thought I was. this specific thing that happens in my mind is beyond painful for me.

this constant transit between the east and west, feminine and masculine, pride and shyness, lustfulness and virtuousness, the high and low, the above and the below, it reaps me apart in a dichotomy I have little control over. at the same time, it is this dichotomy who has given me so much, it is what makes me so unique, different, it is part of my idenitity to the core and I am proud of it, so many times people look at me in awe when they learn of my background and comment things like “thats why you’re so beautiful” or “you’ve got the beauty of many places,” and beauty is a common theme in this website..its something that brings me so much joy, but at the same time I can fit in a little in many places, its appears I can never fit wholy anywhere.

#journal #love #sadness #lonelyness #journal entry

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haevatein · 3 years

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🔥 ‘ﾟ･ 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒

𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓: The opinions and views of Loke do not reflect my own. My muse morals and behaviours does not mean I, the writer, approve of them. Loke’s nature is both dark and light depending on the situation, but generally he is an asshole. If you’re uncomfortable with heavy themes and immoral actions, then this blog may not be for you.

NOTE: This is fiction, not reality. I as a writer will not stay away from exploring certain themes just because you might be unable to handle the content this blog may dewelve into. I do not tolerate artistic/creative censorship.

𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍: This is an myth only of Loke Laufeyjarson from Norse Myhtology. I’ve written Loke since around 2012, and I am inspired by the myths, but as well as my own interpetation and headcanons. I do not have any MCU influences, and I usually avoid MCU interactions due to the great differences between actual Norse Mythology and Marvel. I can interact with MCU characters if we can plot it out properly without changing the core of who and what Loke is as a God. Which if difficult.

𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑: Yo! I’m Jen, 25+. She/Her/Dad. Timezone GMT+1 (Sweden). I try to be friendly and open to most! Holla at me whenever! I’m not always going to be super active, real life and just not feeling like it happens. I work a lot and won’t always have the time to do the shenanigans on here. Please do not hound me for replies, ic or ooc, they’ll come, eventually, maybe… Someday. I can sometimes go off the social radar for long periods of time, please dont guilt me into replying if I do not chat as often as I used to.

𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆 & 𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆 : This blog is private; meaning I only interact with my mutual followers (those who follow me and I follow back) thread and ask wise. This is for my own comfort and I ask not to be shamed for it. I don’t follow everybody. If you follow me and I don’t follow back, then most likely I’ve either forgotten to check out your blog, or I’ve not felt that we as roleplayers will match, if the latter- please don’t take it personally. Don’t go out of your way to ask me for an explanation as to why I dont want to roleplay, or have blocked you. seriously. I’m not 100% exclusive as a standard, but if you want to be exclusive with my muse, I am willing to discuss that. However, if you want exclusivity from this blog, then I excpect the same from yours, and that the exclusivity will be mutual.

I will unfollow if no sign of desire to interact ic and ooc with me has been shown from your part despite me giving attempts to reach out. I will also unfollow and softblock you if you post politically charged posts, too much social justice related posts, or too much ooc where the amount of ic posts compared to ooc is very low. If you unfollow me, I ask of you to PLEASE softblock me (block then unblock) so I can avoid the awkwardness of me still sending you things without knowing you no-longer want to interact. Thanks.

𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍: I interact with any fandom (that I either have knowledge about, or find interesting despite lack of knowledge). I’m oc and crossover friendly, most are welcome to hang out with Loke here. AUs are top tier content, I love those. Interactions with multiple verions of the same character will be set in separate universes. I do not roleplay with non-roleplay blogs! Non-roleplay blogs are free to send in questions to my muse, headcanon asks or if they want to find things out about Loke from him in character.

𝐑𝐏 𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄: No godmodding; you control your character and I control mine. Minor things are fine, if its minor actions that fit my muse and will move the plot along. If you don’t know my muse well, ask me if they would do the thing. MUTUALS are welcome to like my starter calls and to reblog any opens I write. THOSE WHO ARE NOT IN MUTUAL FOLLOWING WITH ME please DO NOT like or reblog starter calls/opens. I also want ask threads to be carried over to normal threads, as I find the reblogged ask thread system to be shit and aesthetically unpleasant to look at.

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒: I have no specific triggers, really. I tend not to tag trigger-like content except for the common nsfw tag. Again, see above important message. If you are sensetive and easily offended, this blog may not be for you.

𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆: I write mostly with small text, and use icons, gificons that are at 60x60 in size. I have no trouble writing without icons, though! You do not need to match my style of writing! I’ll do my best to match your writing lenght, but I tend to mostly write between one-liners to a few paragraphs. Of course, you do not need to match the lenght, I just ask I do not recieve a one-line/uninspired reply to a reply of mine if I’ve written two paragraphs, etc.

𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐄𝐃: I am either faster than lightning on speed at replying, or slower than a crippled snail stuck in glue. A kind nudge on my shoulder regarding my reply/or if i’ve seen yours is fine! But please don’t hound me about it. That will make me reply even slower, if at all.

𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆: I am not very open to ships on here, but it might occur! I don’t ship Loke with just anyone, he does not seek romance. However should he ever sail ships with other muses- then those ships are separate and he’s not cheating unless I’ve stated otherwise. I do not write polyamorous-shipping, like with multiple-writers being involved in the same thread, it has only given me bad experiences. I am okay with poly-shipping if the muses belong not to many writers but only me and the one other writing-partner.

NSFW: I can write smut, but only with those I'm comfortable with. I don't write smut with underage muns & muses.

𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒: I’m open for mains and exclusives. I prefer being close to my rp partners and have ooc communication. Exclusivity is reserved to those I am very close to ooc and have known long enough.

𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒: I read other writer’s rules pages before I interact, but I tend not to send in passwords, though. It depends on my anxious feeling , you get me?

𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐒: Same as for political posts and/or sjw related content. I don’t want it on my blog and will probably unfollow if I see it too much of that sort of drama on my dash. I don’t engage in callout drama for petty reasons such as a falling out or you just don’t like someone. Witch hunts are gross, keep it away.

𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐒: RP icons/PSD by me, dash-icon by me, theme background & art by me.

#🔥 ‘ﾟ･ rules post #long post cw

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ayy-spec · 3 years

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Anything to Add?

The final question in this survey was a write-in section for people to leave any additional comments. 113 people responded.

Important/Particularly Interesting Comments

• I hope this goes well for you because you seem nice and if you have any advice for new to the community 15 year olds like me, don't be afraid to share because I'm trying to embrace my sexuality as much as possible but it can be hard when I don't know where to go or turn to to find what I'm supposed to do and where to ask questions and just fully embrass this part of me and it can be hard when I don't even know many if any aspecs so representation is great and it is helpful to hear your experiences and how you handle certain parts, so just keep doing what your doing because it is making a difference [note: 🥺🥺😭]

• i often consider myself more as just aroace rather than aro and ace seperately so i prefer seeing the blue and orange aroace flag over the individual aro and ace flags

• I don't really shorten my identity often with aroace, only when im feeling very romance repulsed and its been a while since I felt romantic attraction. I am a pan-demiromantic asexual. My pan label makes me feel more connected to the lgbt+ community bc it feels like my nonbinary and intersex status doesn't count either. I know I belong in the queer community, but the lgbt+ community is so sexual orientation focused.

• Thank you for having a wide variety of labels to choose from in the options!! I don't see the term aegoromantic very often on things, it feels nice to be known I guess haha

• Thank you for this, i recently started thinking about being in arospec and it was so relieving, all this time i thought something was wrong or maybe i was broken. I'm still trying to learn more about it, and I'm grateful for people willing to teach and help

• didn't realize I hadn't experienced sexual attraction until I finally did and was like "OH, no wonder all my other relationships felt like I was playing pretend"

• I dont often tell people I'm gray aroace. Not because of shame or it not being "as important" (I'm a gay trans dude) but I think because I just feel its a very intimate part of myself, as well as my romanticism and sexuality (in terms of like asexuality) feeling as though it doesn't always need a label. I'm fine just being myself most of the time, a lot of labels can be tricky for myself I think. I'm happy the label exists nonetheless though because Its nice to know I'm not the only one who feels like this.

• I'm queer! But if I'm getting down to the bones of it, I'm pan/ace. Still relearning how to be proud of that, after The Grand Clusterfuck years back.

• even though I would be considered to have an alloromantic orientation, alloace isn't really a term I feel any strong connection or attachment to

• i'd like to add that i do consider myself alloaro and use that label openly but i'd also not consider myself 100% allosexual. i'm questioning my sexuality but even if i do end up feeling more solidly ace-spec i'd still use the alloaro label

• Idk who else does this or if this is interesting enough to write down, but I thought I would! I use Aroace as a label. Other, smaller labels inside that would probably fit me better! Aroace feels too big, like it doesn't *really* define exactly who I am. But at the same time, I prefer using it because more people know what Aroace means (at least compared to myrromantic and myrsexual). I use Aroace so the public can define me. I don't typically use it around my close friends 'cause they already know my idiosyncrasies and where I really am. They already made their own definitions for me, so I don't have to make one for them!

• I'm still figuring myself out, so I leave myself at the blanket terms and hopefully everything'll work out in the end

The rest of the responses are below:

Comments Alerting Me About Typos (that I was then able to resolve)

• There's a typo in your "sexual orientation labels" question, because you have Aroflux listed and not Aceflux, but I didn't want to confuse things so I put Aceflux (which I do use) under Other. I also am polysexual (I flux between polysexual and asexual but I am always aegosexual) but didn't know if I should but it under Other anywhere since it's not an acespec label. I consider my polysexuality tied to me being aego/aceflux though, which is why I mention it here.

• the sexual orientations options are the same of the romantic ones ( for example, there's arovague and arospike in the sexual cathegory)

People Clarifying/Expounding Upon Their Own Identity/Experiences

· to clarify: i'm unsure whether or not i am demi or aceflux; so i use graysexual since both labels technically fall under that as an umbrella term.

• I’m still a confused gorl and I really only know that I don’t like sex it sexual acts but I do like romantic and sensual acts

• Sex/romance repulsed and I have aesthetic attraction

• I'm also animesexual and fictosexual (and romantic I guess but I don't like using the SAM for myself).

• I have never seen most of these labels, haha, I expect one of them is the one I always forget that's for being aro due to past trauma but people always assume it's romantic/sexual trauma so I don't use it and thus have forgotten it...but that's the essay I'm not usually up for writing: was biromantic but then had several awful life events on top of each other and had a complete breakdown and have been aro since. Unclear if it's permanent but it's been 14 years now. [note: I believe this person is thinking of caedromantic]

• I tend to use the word ace more than asexual because it's shorter, but I don't feel more favorably about one than the other.

• i can't tell the difference between platonic vs romantic attraction, and am unsure if people i have "liked" in the past was romantic, platonic, or a fake stemming from peer pressure.

• Also Gender-Neutral/Agender

• I’m gray-aro but identify more with being biromantic even though I know I’m aro-spec. As for sexual orientation, I’m just completely ace xD

• The fact I'm still trying to figure out my gender makes it harder to pinpoint exactly what my orientations are :( but I usually say I'm queer, and if it's safe: Bi Ace, and if I can get more specific: biromantic grey-asexual

• I also use a platonic label (biplatonic). I use it not in a friendship way, but more like in a QPR way.

• Thank you for doing this! My identity on the aro/ace spectrums has shifted a lot over the years and while I’ve just settled on aroace and queer for the most part, this community is so diverse and under appreciated. People who find joy in/identify with micro-identities are valid and deserve representation!

• I'm still figuring out my romantic orientation but it's looking less allo by the day lmao

• My romantic label is very fluid, but in terms of sexual labels, very sex repulsed Asexual

• Content with just Aspec cause it's difficult to pinpoint anything but cool with both asexual/ace and aromantic/aro

• I think of my romantic orientation as halfway between aromantic and homoromantic

• I'm a polyamorous ace, if there'd be a way to include that sometimes that'd be neat :)

• I am still questioning my identity

• I used to identify as 100% ace but now I have no idea other than that I seem to be pan-ace in some way shape or form so my identity is ???people???

• Sex/romance repulsed and I have aesthetic attraction

• to clarify: i'm unsure whether or not i am demi or aceflux; so i use graysexual since both labels technically fall under that as an umbrella term.

Queer Rights

• Trans rights, baybee 🤠🦂

• I just hope a-spec and aro-spec people will experience less negativity and hate this year <3

• Aspec rights!!

• aspec rights, baby

People Being Nice to Me (I appreciated this thank you everyone!!)

· :)

• Have a good day

• Uhhh, cool survey, nice to see a lot of labels.... good job! Nothing I have to add, it was great

• Have fun chief, thank you for your work

• Thank you for creating!

• thanks for the survey! I don't know too many aspec in person so I love participating in things like this about the ace/aro community!

• Thank you for what you’re doing

• just hi :)

• thanks!!

• I really love your blog! Reading your posts always makes me happy :) [note: thank you!]

• Good luck, have a nice day !

• I hope you're having a good day :)

• you're lived and valid af!! have a great day!!!

• Thank you for all your hard work i really appreciate it ☺️

• Drink some water Right Now OP

• Nope, :> hope the best for you.

• Cool survey, 10/10 would survey again.

• 💛

• Have a nice day uwu

• Nope! Have a nice day!

• Thank you for making pride flag edits! They're really nice! [note: thank you!!]

• nope, but this is really cool!!

• ❤️

• Have a good day.

• I think this survey idea is super cool! Definitely a great way to see what sort of aspec people are on tumblr :)

• You are doing the lords work

• Thank you for asking us.

• good luck!

• This is really cute idea :)

• I hope you're having a nice day!

• Good luck in your endevours!

• Thank you for making our community visible!

• Have a good day :3

• Have a good day!!

• Keep doing great stuff!

• Thank you for all the positivity I get from your blog! It's super helpful, keep it up :) [note: thank you!!]

• thanks for doing this. recognition is always nice

• Have fun <3

• Lots of love 💛

• This is a cool project, thanks for doing it and good luck! :)

People Saying They Love Me (and I love you, random a-specs)

· i love you OP!!!!!

• love you, hope you have a great day

An A-Spec Person Being Rude to Other A-Specs

• If you enjoy sex with your romantic partner then you are not asexual

A Person Who Is Not A-Spec Being Rude To A-Specs

• sweetie im sorry that you're so insecure that you feel like you have to make up new identities to feel better about yourself. if you are a lesbian or bisexual please know that you are welcome in the community, but other than that making thousands of microlabels like this makes a huge joke out of what was once an important and respected group. nobody takes us seriously anymore because of this shit. does labelling your identity like this really help you with anything? demisexual and fraysexual and all this are just fancy words for normal human feelings that everyone has. there is no need to microlabel it.

Other

· [variations of “no” (12)]

• not sure that helps lmao but still hope it does. all the best

• Axolotls (or as I like to call them, asexulotls) are amazing and I love them [Note: the man in question]

• Sorry, I can't remember the names of any blogs that do edits

• Ok random but the colors of the aro/ace flag? The blue and orange one? They’re gorgeous.

• I'm not so sure if I should use the aroace flag, I feel comfortable using both aro and ace flags, but I don't like the colors for the aroace flag :c [note: these are in chronological order, it’s a total coincidence that these comments are together]

• Curious to see where the survey goes

• It would be cool if you could also do some aplatonic-spectrum edits!

• there were fully half of the terms on that list that i had never even seen before. like, everything below litho down to no label was entirely new to me. at some point i will look into those! (but not right now, my brain is full enough at the moment)

• actually had to look up the majority of these orientations. Thank you for the opportunity to learn!

• Gonna reblog and follow and hopefully learn a bit more, about others and myself

Note: The only comment that is not listed in order is the first comment, which I put at the top because I found it the most important. It’s so important that kids and teens have space to explore their identity and learn about themselves. The reason I made this blog in the first place was because I was 19 and working on figuring out my gender and sexuality. Now that I’m a bit older and understand things better, I’m so glad that I’m able to help people in this way.

I make it a point to be very openly queer in my life and at work because I need LGBTQ+ people, especially youths, to know that we’re here. I’m lucky that I live somewhere that I can be visibly queer and speak about it openly. We are everywhere, and there’s more of us than you think!

Something that I really like about the comments at the top is that they show how diverse we are, and how people use words differently. Some people feel like they’re more aroace than aromantic and asexual separately, and others consider their romantic and sexual orientations to be completely different things.

I definitely relate to the person who identifies are myrromantic and myrsexual with their friends but just says aroace when speaking with people they don’t know as well. I believe a lot of people use different words depending on who they’re speaking with.

#survey results #aphobia cw

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letstalksymphogear · 5 years

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Symphogear, Ep. 6 (Cont.)

Hibiki, having seen a horror upon horrors, immediately asks Tsubasa if she’s okay. Tsubasa points out she’s a hospital patient, why would you ask this question, you insensitive prick. Hibiki points to the following scene:

Now, you may be asking yourself. “How does a formerly comatose person who is now bedridden on an IV drip manage to do this much damage?” Simply put, Tsubasa has a very chaotic aura. She doesn’t even have to take stuff out of her room; the places she goes to just naturally wind up like this. It’s a metaphor for how much of an absolute mess this person is simply by existing.

“l-look i just- its hard to organize things and- im more of a visual person and-”

“BITCH YOU LIVE LIKE THIS?”

Hibiki unwittingly gets her revenge on Tsubasa. She doesn’t realize it, but her lecturing Tsubasa on what an absolute mess every facet of her life is could possibly be heralded as her lowest point in the entire series.

No, wait. Thinking about it now, this is her second lowest. We won’t see her lowest until GX comes along.

“hibiki, every single bone in my body is broken, you dont have to break my pride too”

Hibiki, being an absolute darling, actually picks up Tsubasa’s mess. This is more than she can say about her own messes.

“haha, miku usually does this for me! wait- wait a minute.”

“i dont get it. i tried to kill you. i tormented and ignored you. i refused to help you for months. i failed to train you on any facet of combat as your senior. i nearly let you get kidnapped and, failing that, nearly killed myself while making you watch, which ALSO didnt help you not get kidnapped aside from scaring the shit out of that weird lady. why are you... helping me?”

“because either we’re going to be very good friends or im going to toss you out the window personally!”

“oh god, that aggression screams kanade. i cant not like her.”

Absolutely annihilated. Just kick her while she’s down in her Taco Bell spiral of humiliation and self-discovery, Hibiki.

“it’s okay, tsubasa! you may be a terminal dumbass, but im sure if we all work together, we can share our braincells and become collectively smarter, for each other!”

“interesting theory. how many ya got?”

“ZERO!”

They trade the kind of banter two people with 0 brain cells would have and then Tsubasa points out Hibiki is doing a great job in her place.

“hey hey HEY HOLD THE PHONE IVE LEARNED MY LESSON IM NOT TRYING TO REPLACE YOU OKAY IM NOT YOU, IM JUST HIBIKI, DOING HER JOB, ALRIGHT”

Meanwhile, in the library, Miku is looking at books, as she does what she says she’s gonna do, unlike a certain other person cavorting with cute idols.

“The Gay Way: How to Get Your Same Sex Relationship Back On Track, by Dr. Lesbe Honest. wow, this one is right up my alley.”

Okay, I’m gonna be honest with you. I literally forgot they show you the title in this. Imagine my face when I made up that title on the spot only to be hit with this little number. Holy shit, Symphogear. There’s this thing called subtlety. I’m begging you. We get it.

OH, AND IT GETS BETTER, BECAUSE

THE AUTHOR OF THE BOOK IS THE WRITER OF THE SHOW

IT’S LITERALLY GOT HIS NAME ON IT

THIS IS THE EQUIVALENT OF WRITING A STORY AND THEN INSERTING A BOOK CALLED “LEARN THE PLOT” WRITTEN BY YOU, IN UNIVERSE

KANEKO STOP THIS BALONEY, PLEASE

AND LIKE FUCKING CLOCKWORK SHE JUST- SHE TURNS HER HEAD AWAY FROM THE BOOK TITLED “THIS IS THE PLOT MOTIF” BY “AUTHOR” AND THEN FUCKING

SHE CONVENIENTLY LOOKS OVER TO THE DISTANCE

AND SHE SEES HIBIKI WITH THE HOT IDOL MIKU WAS INTO, THAT THEY WERE BOTH A FAN ON, AND SHE’S JUST CHILLING THERE AND MIKU WAS TOLD HIBIKI’S ON SERIOUS BUSINESS

AND THE HOSPITAL QUARTERS ARE SOMEHOW CONVENIENTLY CONNECTED TO THE FUCKING LIBRARY ON FULL DISPLAY BECAUSE GOD KNOWS EVERYONE IN A LIBRARY HAS TO WATCH SICK PEOPLE DIE IN REAL TIME

AND NOW MIKU IS THINKING “OH MY FUCKING GOD IM BEING CHEATED ON” AND HER FEELINGS ARE HURT FOR THIS TOTALLY CONTRIVED FUCKING COINCIDENCE

AND SHE’S ALL “BOO HOO HOO I’VE BEEN NTR’D! THIS WAS A CUCKING PLOT THIS WHOLE TIME! WOE IS ME!” FUCK YOU. THIS IS THE WORST. THIS IS ABSOLUTE GARBAGE WHY WOULD YOU- WHY DO YOU EVEN NEED TO SET THIS UP? THERE’S SO MANY BETTER WAYS TO DO THIS!

AND SHE’S JUST STARING BACK AT THE BOOK WRITTEN BY THE SAME ASSHOLE WHO WROTE THIS ENTIRE DAMN SCENARIO IN THE FIRST PLACE, AN EVIL GOD MOCKING HIS SUBJECTS IN THE FACE OF SCRUTINY FOR DRAMA WITH THE MOST CLICHE LOVE NOTES IN A GODDAMNED SOAP OPERA

AND HIBIKI IS NONE

THE

FUCKING

WISER

SYMPHOGEAR SURE IS GREAT, HUH? I SURE DO LOVE SYMPHOGEAR WITH ALLLLLL MY HEART. WHAT A WELL WRITTEN MASTERPIECE! FUCKING BELONGS IN THE FUCKING MOMA!!!!!

Okay. Okay. Let’s get that out of our system. The worst is over. This is the, uh, crescendo of the bad side plot as it inevitably sets itself on the road to resolution. I’m not going to have an aneurysm. My brain is not going to split itself in half. We’re good. I swear, we’re good.

Tsubasa, meanwhile, wants to understand why Hibiki fights, wrestling with the Da Vinci code that is her own emotions. She points out the fight against the Noise isn’t a game, and it ain’t no comic book bullshit either. It’s real, it’s out there, and it’s not pretty yet easily marketable as cute mascots. And what does our protagonist say? No making it up, she literally says:

“i dunno”

Not a damn brain cell in her body, but props for keeping it real. I’d likely say the same thing.

This is the face of someone currently sucking air through their teeth at the raw frustration that someone would be dumb enough to risk their life for the sake of only helping others.

“listen. im gonna keep it real here. i suck at literally everything. math. social studies. writing. helping people is all i have, because its not a competition. you just... you do it. you dont get better at helping people, you just help. like, thats it. i dunno what else to tell you.”

Then Hibiki points out that she feels it all started with Kanade saving her, and the speech implies its a ‘pay it forward’ sort of affair. She was saved, and so she should save others. Unfortunately, it comes off more as a guilt complex. “I lived, and I feel bad about that, so I gotta save everyone else” kind of stuff.

“its my coping mechanism for my countless traumas!”

“i get it now. you’re just as much of a mess as i am. you just dont show it as much. that kinda thinking’s gonna get you killed.”

Tsubasa then correctly points out that it is a kind of survivor’s guilt, where she wants to be released from the pain of old wounds, completely unaware of the irony of her statement.

“yeah. i get ya. we’re both wrecks. but... we can be wrecks working together.”

This would be the part where she says I’M SORRY but apparently we just don’t fucking do apologies in Symphogear, huh? Too good for ‘em, eh?! God.

Then they go outside and talk more about stuff and Durandal. The summation:

“do you have the capacity to live a life forever kicking ass?”

“yeah”

Hibiki, coming to terms with how she wants to deal with shit, manages to sharpen (haw) her resolve as to who she is and how she uses her abilities.

Meanwhile...

youtube

“i cant believe hibiki is having an affair with an attractive idol popstar. especially my favorite one from their old band. not only is she cheating on me, but she’s cheating on me from one of the five people on my lists id immediately get with if i had the chance. it feels like a double betrayal. a real life one, and a fantasy one... why do i find this weirdly hot...?”

“HEY NEWCOMER WELCOME TO THE CUCK AND BUCK WHERE WE SELL FRESHLY FRIED CUCKS FOR ONE BUCK, REAL EASY, REAL CHEAP, GOOD OL’ FASHIONED JAPANESE SOULFOOD”

“ive come to take my throne. i’ll take the ‘one flew over the cuckoo’s nest” and have the three eggs over easy with the ‘easy sleazy pancakes’”

“make it an extra lonely helping. this is gonna be a long afternoon.”

“ahhh. a freshly cucked newcomer coming to the cuck and buck to duck amongst their bad luck run amok, huh?”

“listen dont sass me about my busy girlfriend with your dr. seuss antics just gimmie the food and lets get this over with”

“no problem! sorry, they just come easy. it’s hard to buck at the cuck and buck when rhymes you huck make you wanna fu-”

“FOOD. NOW.”

Miku then ponders about how her feelings may have spiraled from a process of over thinking, or possibly hunger. Maybe both. Maybe Hibiki isn’t cheating on her. Maybe the reasons are more complicated than she knows. She briefly contemplates communication; a futile gesture when it is Hibiki safeguarding a secret she is forced to keep for incredibly stupid reasons.

“thanks for the food, miss. it really helped sort my feelings out.”

“no probs, kid. here at the cuck and buck, the only thing we cuck here is... our hearts.”

Meanwhile, Hibiki is still hanging with Tsubasa. Hey, if you’re gonna hang out with a critically acclaimed popstar, might as well squeeze every minute out of it, right?

“so... taco bell, huh? im surprised you actually like taco bell now. maybe you just like fast food styled psuedo-mexican restraunts? have you tried chipotle?”

“i... maybe you’re right, actually. i’ve grown to love taco bell, but... maybe i should expand my horizons. kanade did say... singing makes you hungry. maybe thats what she meant. i should take to new life experiences...”

“yeah! i can take you to all the good fast food places i know!”

“dont you have a girlfriend?”

“she can join us! she’s a big fan of you after all!”

“hey- hey wait! m- more friends? more... more friends... more friends.....”

“more friends...”

Meanwhile, a crisis develops.

Chris, having heard the f-word (friendship), is heading immediately to do the exact opposite of this.

She’s taken some pointers from Tsubasa, t-posing to assert dominance.

“how the fuck is she even flying”

“i cant wait to tell hibiki how much i love and appreciate her despite the weird NTR aura surrounding this whole situation”

“yeah, that’s right! i’m meeting the Gremlin in the park for an asskicking, don’t worry!”

“oh, speak of the devil! hibiki! i love and appreciate you despite the weird ntr auras!”

“miku- wait. oh no. i saw this happen in sam reimi’s spiderman 3. im fucked.”

“YOU GUESSED CORRECTLY, PIDGEON BANGS”

I know I’ve joked about homewrecking, but this is ridiculous.

Chris realizes there’s someone else around she may have potentially hurt. This is surprising, given murder is not something she has shyed away from, but she’s slowly climbing that ladder of morality, so cut her some slack for taking it one rung at a time.

“im losing my girl. losing my grip. now im about to lose my life. this NTR business truly is the worst.”

Chris has accidentally employed the Dio Brando style of disposing of people, which consists of throwing a vehicle and smashing them until dead.

“you’ve taken one step too close to my heartstrings, Gremlin, and for that you’re about to understand the full definition of an ass kicking.”

Hibiki fucking punches the car. Everything is forgiven in this episode for now.

“i... hibiki... are you... a street fighter character? holy shit. oh my god. hibiki oh my god you’re a street fighter character. thats been the true problem here. you’re a street fighter character now. oh my god. cheating? how could i have thought cheating was involved? you were literally just becoming a straight up superhero! oh my god. the abs! the washboard abs! the signs were all around me! the only thing you went to do behind my back was kick ass!”

“i’m sorry. i need to go kick ass now.”

The good news is all that tension just got evaporated. Miku sorta gets the truth now: her girlfriend hasn’t been cheating on her, she’s just been trying to save the local tri-county area from the grips of inter-dimensional alien eldritch entities controlled by a Gremlin and her Mistress. It’s a lot to take in, though.

These two are about to fight head to head. Last time, Hibiki was but the pupil. Now, she is the Master.

“can’t touch me, goldie locks. lemme do you a favor and CRACK THAT WHIP!”

“oh my god hibiki’s gonna fight that weird looking person”

“naruto running deeper into the woods isn’t gonna stop me from beating your ass senseless, fists for brains”

“thats because i wanna talk, asshole”

“wait. wait, what? you... you want to talk? to me?”

Hibiki proceeds to aggressively describe herself to her. Name, identity, blood type, age, the works. This is because she’s trying to befriend her, because Hibiki feels fighting people is bad, and that talking is more useful than fighting. This is a recipe for suicide, normally, but in this instance...

“what in the goddamn hell... i... um... nice.. to meet you...?”

Hibiki deploys a counter-T-Pose to show kinship, feeling that they don’t have to fight like this since they’re not Noise.

“talk may be cheap but it’ll make kicking your ass all the more easier, nerd”

Chris learns this, in fact, does not make the ass kicking all the more easier. Hibiki’s fresh new moves manage to dodge whip after whip of Chris’s attacks, and it’s really starting to annoy her a lot.

“pain in the ass. so you learned how to fight, huh? fine. you’ll tire out eventually.”

“let’s just talk, seriously! or maybe we can bond over board games-”

“i FUCKING hate board games. the fuck are you, a grandma? just fight already! people cant understand each other anyway!”

“JUST DIE ALREADY!”

“i was told to kidnap you. but im exerting a loophole today; no one told me to do it alive”

“the only kidnapping going down is me, sleeping in on a thursday afternoon forgetting class exists, you neon porcupine. so come at me. can’t kick me ass if you dont come any closer, right?”

“WITH PLEASURE!”

“ive watched the entirety of dragonball z, i know exactly how this fight’s gonna go down”

“finally. looks like i got y- hey, wait, what?”

“ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY JANKING MY LEG? THIS BITCH IS LITERALLY GOKU? PULLING KAMEHAMEHAS AND SHIT? WHY? god. its me. yukine chris. why do you hate me. why do you drag me through all this shit only to be hit in the head with some real anime baloney. why. please. have some mercy.”

“i dont know what a goku is but sure, yeah, why not”

“im going to kill her. oh my god. she doesnt even know who goku is.”

“get that tentacle shit away from me. im not fucking around anymore. we’re going to have a heart to heart whether you like it or not!”

“oh shit she found my weakness. really close melee combat.”

“MADE A FRIENDSHIP GIFT FOR YA. IT’S A FRESHLY MADE KNUCKLE SANDWICH, STRAIGHT FROM THE DELI”

“OH GOD, PLEASE, NOT MY FACE”

“REQUEST ACCEPTED, PAL”

Hibiki punched her so hard that she physically destroyed the entire armor Chris was wearing in a single blow.

“she... she doesnt punch ME like that... i mean, probably because she loves me, but..”

“did... did she just kill that person...? hibiki...? you, uh... you alright...?”

#symphogear #recap #comedy #anime #a lot of cuck was said here

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positivelylgbtq · 5 years

Note

so im panro ace and there are debates about whether ~either~ of the things i identify as are actually part of the community and its just got me feeling like im not part of the community :/ i just like using pan instead of bi and i dont understand why that isn’t acceptable? it makes me feel more comfortable and i like girls just as much as i like boys so why do i feel so invalidated? thank you :)

hello! mod jay here. first off, I just want you to know that you don’t deserve to feel like your identity is invalid or not enough to belong. you are allowed to identify however you feel most comfortable, and you should be supported in those decisions, no matter what they are. If I had never even heard of your identities before, that wouldn’t matter! you would still deserve to be supported and respected! you are always, and I mean always, welcome in my community. any and all folk who identify as LGBTQIA+, think they might be LGBTQIA+, and hold the same kind of open-mindedness and kindness towards others that I’m expressing right now – they are all welcome in my community spaces, no further questions asked.

onto why people invalidate your identities:It is very easy for queer folks (especially young queer folks) to feel powerless. the world isn’t always kind to us! we aren’t always given the love and support and support we deserve! sometimes, being queer can feel like this horrible thing that’s out of our control, and sometimes, all we want is to gain some control back. for some people, invalidating and attacking other queer folk is a way for them to feel powerful when they feel powerless. it’s hard to fight back against those who truly wish us harm. it’s easier to attack fellow queer folk deemed not “LGBT enough”, and blame them for all of those things that are making us feel powerless. at the end of the day, fellow queer folk aren’t the enemy – they’re family, and when we stand together, uplifting all members of our community, we are capable of making so much more progress – for all of us, not just a select few.

#mod jay asks

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thiswaycomessomethingwicked · 6 years

Note

This was my first pride month on tumblr. I'm eighteen but a late bloomer and from a pretty shithole part of my country so I didn't know shit.I'm asexual and I mean, Jesus Christ, the amount of acephobia I've come across in the lgbt community is...I dont know really. Dissapointing? Surprising? Downright crushing? It's not like we have a problem with others sucking face beside us. But we do have a problem with them saying our faces need to be sucked too, you know, to be normal. (Cont'd)

(Same ace anon) And I dont even understand why a actively persecuted group would do the same thing they have been facing for years to another group. This is pretty much the same Straight™ people have been doing. Real life people are not much better either. And it’s so painful and humiliating and CONFUSING. God this moral and sexual policing I’ve faced is mortifying.

Hey happy Pride month. So I’m not going to get too deep into this because I try to avoid the Discourse on here as much as possible. So I’m going to do a quick rundown of a response.

1) I’m sorry you’re stuck in a shite part of your country. That is very hard for anyone. Absolutely difficult, especially when you’re coming into your own and figuring your stuff out. The expectations of how you perform gender and sexuality can be frustrating and stiffling when you’re in a very close and suffocating place. I feel for you and hope you either get out of there or find your people to be with. That’s never easy. I’m sorry no one is hearing you.

I spent a good many years in small town Florida so I understand.

2) Pride in real life can be a very different from pride on tumblr. In real life, in my experience, there is less antagonism, less drama, less pointless discourse about weird things. There’s more conversation around structural issues in society that allow inequality to perpetuate. Lots of rainbows. Bad sunburns. Hawaiin shirts. Small glittery shorts. Grass roots politics. And a general acceptance of anyone who shows up and says they belong.

I 100% have felt far more policed and gate-kept about everything on this website than I have ever felt either at pride or in, at least my city’s, queer community in general.

Generally, at pride in real life, you show up for a good time, say you belong, and are there to love and support your community, and aren’t being rude, then you are welcomed with open arms. No one sits there with a check list like “ok but how rainbow coloured do you bleed? Is your hair made of glitter?”

3) I sympathise with feeling pressure to act and behave in a way that isn’t who you are or how you identify. That absolutely sucks. No one should feel forced to behave in a way that isn’t true to who they are.

That said, I’m going to do an aside for a moment about language and experience: people being a dick to ace people, while rude and nasty, isn’t the same as the persecution faced by LGBQ** folk.

There is a difference between systemic oppression and persecution and people being fucking assholes.

So while this doesn’t excuse anyone, of any sexuality, forcing unwanted sexual behaviour onto you, I would as a word of advice be careful around the equation of persecution versus stigma. While they often go hand in hand, they can be separated out into two distinct experiences.

What ace folk face, strictly regarding sexuality, is stigma. That’s not persecution or oppression.

Now, none of these things are good. No one should face either of them. I’m expressing a word of caution and awareness on the subject.

There’s also the issue that many ace people on tumblr have expressed homophobic views and seek to control the sexual expression of LGBQ folk. Since Pride first and foremost was an expression of LGBQ identity, which has been historically punished by fines, jail time, and death, for anyone, of any orientation, to then police that is bad and possibly coming from a place of homophobia which should be examined.

**trans issues, being related to gender rather than sexual identity is a different conversation. Trans folk obviously face massive amounts of persecution and hate and have been, and are, systemically oppressed. But that’s gender, we’re specifically address sexuality. There are ace trans folk, after all.4) In the end, I would encourage you to disengage from tumblr pride discourse as it isn’t healthy or useful for anyone, really. I know this can be hard when you’re in an already desert environment when it comes to support from the lgbtq+ community offline. But, as much as you can, as much as you are able, I encourage you to seek out support in-real-life networks.

If that isn’t an option, I would recommend curbing how much of this hellsite you engage with, for your own mental and emotional health, and when you do engage be picky about mutuals and who you reach out to.

My best experience on this site comes from keeping a narrow group with whom I engage. It keeps the Discourse down to a minimum and means I interact with people who I like and find supportive of me and of whom I am supportive.

And, as always, read widely about all issues. Especially the history of the LGBTQ+ community. We never learn our own history and it hurts us. I can provide some sources if you want. I’d recommend not getting history or politics from tumblr unless it’s well, and reliably sourced. That’s generally a bad idea. (i say as someone on tumblr…)

I hope this helped? I’m not sure what you were hoping for in a response. I will say I’m not ace, I’m a salty, tired queer who hates the discourse on this site about pretty much everything. So I’m trying to avoid a dog-pile in any direction.

That said, I wish you all the best. Happy pride!

#ask #anon #reply #I didn't get into the whole thing of ace people on here being homophobic #well not too much #but that's a thing that happens #and it is all feul to the fire of bad discourse #that harms more than anything else #lgbtq+#queer community #queer shit #pride

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himbowelsh · 6 years

Note

prompt: dick finding nix on a beach, unconscious after drowning (plus: they dont know each other yet; gold points if nix is a merman who had had an accident underwater and then was unconscious afterward)

Dick doesn’t like living by the sea.He’s willing to admit that his greatest inconvenience is his own prejudice. He has no problem with the locals, who have proven to be even friendlier that the close-knit community he left behind in Pennsylvania. He may feel a bit of homesickness, but the neighbors are welcoming, and his mother and sister call him often enough that it is impossible to really feel like he’s far away. The location isn’t a problem either; the view from his bedroom window is a luxurious beach, bordered by wide sky and endless ocean. Early in the morning, just as the sun is beginning to break through the all-consuming night, it glistens. Dick is convinced that the sight is more beautiful than the gold and jewels in any mythical dragon’s horse.He has every reason to love living here. For all intents and purposes, it seems like the sort of community he’d fit in best — hardworking, pleasant, and peaceful. His new home should be perfect.Except it isn’t.

There’s a part of Dick that would even say he hates it.It is the sense of unease, swirling just beneath his skin, that really turns him off of the idea of living by the ocean. There is something about the vastness of the sea that unnerves him. He cannot explain it; the ocean is not a present threat, reaching out its briny tendrils to drag him from land. Nothing will come out of the sea to hurt him; there are no monsters lurking in the deep that can touch him in the safety of his own home.He cannot say why he’s so unhappy, only that he is. Convincing himself that his dissatisfaction will fade as long as he sticks with his new home is easier said than done. When Dick wakes up every morning to the sound of waves crashing on the sand, he wants to feel joy; instead, he only feels isolated, and a bit paranoid.(Does the ocean have eyes? Can something within it see him the same way he can look out at it? It sounds like a crazy thought, but there are times when he’s not so sure.)Uncomfortable with the ocean as he might be, there are some things that Dick will never abandon. His early morning runs are one of them. He began them along dirt roads and farmland back in Lancaster; if he’ll give the isolated beach any credit, it’s that it makes for an ideal exercise spot. He can run along the shore as the sun rises behind him, allowing the morning breeze to breathe energy back into his tired limbs. The ocean makes him feel alive, if nothing else. This is the one thing he can appreciate about it.The naked man lying face-down in the surf must be less grateful.The ocean has lent him no life at all. Instead, Dick thinks as his stomach slowly sinks to his toes, it seems to have robbed him of all the life he had left.He saw no boats on the shore the previous night; he heard no swimmers in the darkness. The fearsome storm that drove the ocean wild throughout the night, shooting thunder and lightning through Dick’s dreams, would have lent no mercy to any soul foolish enough to venture out. Yet this man, with salt residue crusted along his limbs and dark hair dripping over his face, has clearly come out of the water. It is as if he has been rejected, nature devouring a component that does not belong and spitting it back up once it has already been ravaged.Dick can feel his heart pounding in his chest. Even looking at the body makes him feel sick to his stomach. Still, he manages a step towards it, and then another, until the prone man is at his feet.“Sir?” he forces past a dry mouth, crouching down. “Sir, are you alright?”There’s no reply. The man doesn’t stir.“Can you hear me?”It’s the last thing he wants to do — god, he’d rather run into the ocean himself — but he forces his panicked pulse to slow. As tentative as a baby taking its first steps, he reaches out and lays a hand on the man’s shoulder.His skin is clammy from the salty water, cold as ice. It only takes a few seconds, however, for Dick to feel the man’s shoulder rise and fall beneath his palm.He’s breathing. He’s alive.In an instant, sense returns to him. It’s like being struck by lightning. At once, he remembers how to move; in the next instant he’s on his knees next to the man.

His pulse is slow; his breathing is shallow, but even. Dick takes the liberty of turning the man onto his side, which is enough of a movement to jar him awake. The next second, he’s spitting a rush of sea water back onto the beach.

Startled, Dick draws back; but he keeps a hand on the man’s back until he’s done. The man falls back to the sand and screws his face up with a soft groan. “Oh my god,” he croaks out. “I think the vodka tonics might have been a bad idea.”It takes Dick a few seconds to realize what on earth he’s talking about; then he huffs, not quite a laugh, born more out of relief than amusement. “You might have taken it easy last night.”“Vodka tonics are always a bad idea. I was just inviting my own misery. Didn’t expect it to hurt this much, though,” he mutters. An effort to sit up goes awry quickly. He winds up flat on his back again, looking woozy. His head lolls back against the sand, revealing the long arch of his neck, and that’s when Dick notices something alarming. A long trail of dark liquid courses down the man’s jugular, leading from behind his ear. There is a pool of it beneath his head, drenching his hair. Dick’s eyes widen, and he places an instinctual hand on the man’s shoulder to keep him from trying to move again.“Hang on. Did you hit your head?”A tiny grunt escapes the man. he grimaces as he raises a hand to his wound. “Good question. Sure feels like it.”“You’re bleeding,” Dick says, pointlessly, as the man has already pulled his hand away from the wound. Liquid glistens at his fingertips, dark in the early morning sunlight.

Then again – is it too dark? Dick pauses, narrowing his eyes; it still takes him a moment to realize that the fluid leaking from the man’s laceration is not natural crimson, but black. It is a slick substance that reminds Dick of oil – not at all the blood he’d been expecting.

The stranger’s eyes flicker from Dick to the blood on his hand again. He makes the connection at about the same time as Dick does. His dazed expression turns into one of understanding.

“I’m guessing you haven’t lived here long.”

“Just moved in last week,” Dick replies.

“You like it.”

“It’s alright.”

‘You just haven’t realized how exciting it is around here.”

“No kidding.” The man doesn’t seem alarmed that he’s leaking not-blood, or b his narrow escape from drowning. Dick has no idea what’s going on here, but figures he may as well roll with it. When the man raises an eyebrow at him, he meets his gaze evenly. “I guess you’re a part of that, huh?”

“I wouldn’t call myself interesting, but I can be exciting on occasion.” The man makes an attempt to sit up again; he gets woozy, but manages to stay upright. Dick steadies him with a hand on his shoulder, and the man casts him a look of unfiltered gratitude.

“You know,” Dick says, “I’ve got some bandages and water inside. Maybe you ought to come in.”

“That’s the best idea I’ve heard all day,” replies the man.

It’s not an explanation, but it’s a start; Dick figures that whatever the heck is going on, helping out the genial, half-drowned guy on the beach is the best way to approach it.

As he helps the man up, he politely doesn’t mention the set of gills obvious along the outline of his ribs.

“So, you’re a –” Dick tests out the unfamiliar word on his tongue. “Mer?”

A sun that dawns in the wake of a huge storm is always particularly warm; it casts the stranger named Lewis Nixon’s face into sharp contrast. It lends him a glow that makes the his eyes all the brighter, his smile that much more disarming, and causes the faint scales lining his neck and collar to shimmer. He has borrowed a few pieces of Dick’s clothing, but the undershirt hangs low on his chest. Nixon doesn’t seem to have much care for decency.

He takes a long sip of his tea before setting it down with a sigh, and now the hint of amusement on his face has broken into a full-on smirk. “Last I checked, Dick, yup.”

They exchanged names as easily as they exchanged stories. Lewis Nixon, a creature of the sea, washed up on Dick’s beach -- it would almost be too much to believe. Dick is tempted to disregard his entire story, but he is not a rash man, and to do so would be to cling with desperation to flawed logic. After all, science hasn’t been able to prove that Merpeople don’t exist. There is a man with gills, scales, and black blood sitting in Dick’s living room. Logic doesn’t seem to hold much weight, now.

“And you went out drinking last night... for fun?”

“Humans are fun,” is all Nixon says, waving his hand as if to shoo the topic away. “You’re interesting. Some more than others.” He leaves it at that, and Dick doesn’t press.

“Then when you went back in the water --”

“I was still drunk, the storm knocked me into a pier, I smacked my head... and the rest is history. I can’t drown --” Nixon scratches absently at the gills on his chest. “But I can take a nasty knock on the head.”

“Seems like your skull is hard enough to take it,” Dick replies. He doesn’t mean for it to sound insulting, and only realizes too late; but Nixon’s smirk breaks into a grin.

“That it is.” He takes another sip of his tea. “Hey, you got anything stronger?”

“I don’t drink.”

“I take it back. You’re not interesting at all.”

The wicked spark in his eyes tells Dick he doesn’t mean it. He has the strangest feeling that the Mer is playing with him, like a new fascinating toy he just can’t put down; even odder, he doesn’t mind it. He's just as intrigued by Lewis Nixon, and wouldn’t mind figuring him out for himself.

“You can stop in for tea anytime,” he says, leaning forward in his seat. “I can’t promise to be interesting, but I can hold a decent conversation.”

Nixon’s eyes spark. He seems like he’d enjoy that very much indeed.

“There’s no tea in the ocean,” he replies with a languid shrug. “Guess I’ll have to take you up on that offer.

Dick huffs a laugh and settles back as he meets Nixon’s gaze. He takes it back. Living on the ocean might be different from what he’s used to... but maybe it won’t be so bad after all.

#winnix #richard winters #lewis nixon #my writing

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noidsome · 7 years

Text

The big issue with the digimon tri movies, and why you should be pissed too.

I just finished watching the 5th digimon movie, and to put it short, i excpected nothing and im still let down. This is a big negative critique on what ive seen so far from the tri movies, but its also more of a vent for me, because theres something about these movies that really fucking grinds my gears and i feel i finally need to let that out somewhere. Look at this as a sort of....badly written analyctic rant. So far this movie, in short, was as i dreaded, 70% meiko bullshit and 20% kari...which is so fucking insulting i dont even know...but thats why im here.

Now before you assblast me with your stupid crap, please try to understand that as harsh as im writing this, im trying to look at this movie from a critical standpoint, and no im not going to put in the effort to be “nice” about it because if digimon tri can get away with half assing everything about itself, then wont bother. If you cant handle that, move on. If your interested, click the read more and we can begin this shit fest, because i think its about god damn time someone put these mediocre movies in their place.

The pacing.

I dont know about you guys, but to me it feels like these movies, or episodes, are either dragging on forever, or they rush really fast. This movie especially took its sweet ass time to give us 2 whole half an hour scenes of meiko being depressed about her shitty OC digimon, to leave the actual interesting fights and plot to 1 and a half episode, out of 4. Im sorry but i feel like ive been following this fucking story for 6 years, its so fucking slow and it drags on for fucking ever sometimes.

I do understand that its important to establish character interactions, and god damn does this fucking series need some, but sometimes it really stops the action dead in its tracks, and as much as i appriciate the movies giving each character some focus, it goes on for too long. the ending to movie 5 was....well rushed as shit.

But despite all this, its just really frustrating that half the entire series is just them standing around and TALKING...talking talking talking, exposition exposition exposition. It also feels really slow and stagnated sometimes, and the cheesy music in the background of the sad scenes dont really help much. And other times things are glossed over so fast that im standing there wondering if i missed out on something because i accedently blinked. Like how they entered the digital world, only to just suddently fall out of it immediatly after from a big digital gate just like that. Or how meiko just...SUDDENTLY appeared in the digital world with no warning or real reason. huh?? shes here now?? what?? meicoomon is still infected? what?? gennai is back with the dark masters? what where did they come from? why are they following him!? WHAT?? HUH??? HELLO???

im just….frustrated. im frustrated that i have to wait for 6+ months every a new movie comes out, only for the movie to stall for fucking ever and leave the actual OH SHIT moments to the last part, AND END ON A CLIFFHANGER. Its such fucking god damn bait to get us to watch the other movies, its almost INSULTING how incredibly obvious it is. Last movie ended with gennai fucking around and choking meiko. Then, as i saw my fat ass down in the chair, waiting for the big battle, no meicoo just...opened portals and then left with her copy paste army. Oh well so much for that.

Then the digidestined actually FALL OUT OF THE DIGITAL WORLD, and they are right back to standing around and getting chased by the cops...and then they spend THE REST OF THE EPISODES on meikos useless crying and baiting for meichi shipping material. im sorry but was that neccecary? was it neccecary to stop the entire god damn movie just so we could have tai standing there with spaghetti falling out of his pockets? and the mega evolutions for the other digimons felt really rushed too, i had hoped for more build up...but guess i get fuck alll.

The filler.

Now i do enjoy myself a little “filler” once in a while, i wont lie. and i will also not lie when i say that i really enjoyed seeing my boi tais hot nipple-less body. But, again…. DID WE NEED THE FIRST HALF BEING JUST THAT?! i swear to fucking god if you cut out all the filler content from these movies your going to get the entire series down to 5 episodes. Movie 2 was just...filler. fucking filler. i didnt have much issue with movie 3 but they just NEEDED to shove more meiko in..

movie 4 was kind of a bitch to sit trough because the whole damn “plot” made no sense. why was soras digimon the only one who was mad and while the others were just like before? why JUST her? why couldnt the others be like that too? Its just plot convenience at this point. and then it was pretty much just watching tai and matt spew spaghetti out of their pockets and be awkward because sora cant communicate with her friends like a normal person. Honestly it was a little charming at first but it got old pretty quickly…and then dark masters out of nowhere that died as fast as they came on. what a rushed little cameo for that extra nostalgia bait.

Honestly i found myself first liking the character interactions a little once the movies took a break from the action and fighting...but i much more often found myself angrily tapping my foot and going “REEEE MOVE ON.”

The god damn meiko.

Alright you all saw this one coming probably. Now let me just start by saying, i originally didnt mind meiko, or the idea of a new digitestined in the first place. Its welcoming to try and add something new to your otherwise soulless nostalgia cash grab. However we need to look at her from a critical stand point. im not trying to start a hate train, im just going to analyze her for how shes written as a character.

Im sorry to say this guys, but no matter how you look at her, shes a mary sue. Im sorry but all the tropes are there!! but why do i feel this way? heres why:

Her digimon is the sole reason for everything going to shit.

her digimon is in adult stage like gatomon just because.

essentially her digimon is “special”

all the other kids befriended her really fast just because.

everyone likes meiko and nobody seems to have a problem with her

shes the typical “uguu” shy type of girl.

her digimon OF COURSE won the costume contest in movie 2 or 3

leomon finds HER DIGIMON adorable enough to make the others run off... of course….

she cries constantly and does nothing but wine as the others hold her.

She takes up MAJORITY of the screentime for almost all movies. Almost.

POSSIBLY a relationship with the main character, if they actually are baiting us with those scenes in movie 5.

acts and feels like a self-insert OC in a canon universe.

The reason i dont like her is just because im SICK OF HER!! im sick of seeing her fucking face every god damn movie. im sick of the others shoving a friendship speech or talking about her belonging to them for the 700th GOD DAMN TIME, im sick of constantly hearing ME-MEI and MEIKOOOOOO, and im so fucking sick of seeing her sit down and cry or act sad and do NOTHING! shes just THERE TO BE THERE! her “cute little sneezing quirk” wasnt even something they bothered keeping any more. Shes so god damn obnoxious and shallow, and the ENTIRE HALF OF THE 5TH MOVIE WAS SPENT SHOVING MORE FRIENDSHIP SPEECHES IN HER FUCKING HEAD UNTIL SHE NUTTED UP AND STRAIGHT UP TOLD THE OTHERS TO AXE OFF MEICOOMON, while kari got 5 fucking minutes and got posessed or some shit i dont fucking know, does anyone care at this point?!

shes such a god damn self insert its PAINFUL! and ive read plenty of crappy OC digimon fanfiction in my days to be able to tell when someone props their crappy OC in a canon story. IVE DONE IT MYSELF!! its INSULTING that im watching a canon produced digimon FANFICTION more then an actual OVA. If you like her, FINE, but you CANT ignore how incredibly shallow and flawed shes written. This isnt someone “hating female characters” this is someone whos frustrated a shittly written character who is just causing repetitive sob scenes over and over and over. im sorry but have we not gotten enough flashbacks from meiko and her digimon? do we need 4 more in the fifth movie??? WE GET IT! ITS SAD! SHES SAD!! THEY ARE FRIENDS! MOVE ON ALREADY!!

i dont feel bad for her anymore, its just getting repetitive now. She ate up the entire 5th movie and left nothing to kari but the sloppy leftovers at the end, and because she ran off like an idiot to meicoomon she got tai axed off too……………...but i will get to that.

The lack of animation.

The biggest insult, and this is….dare i say…….something coming from an animation student, is the insufferable animation. The first movie is fine, but from thereon, i feel like the quality dropped significantly. and oh boy, dont get me started on the amount of time they just pan a fucking picture instead of animating them doing shit.

im sorry but did i wait 4-6 months for a fucking clipshow? I know that animating is hard, and the animation industry in japan is absolute fucking shit, but come the fuck on guys. i think movie 5 had so many times where they just panned pictures of the digimon fighting, and the kids running. I guess when you put all your budget into overanimating the short action scenes you got, you dont have much left for them to trow a punch outside of that. and i wouldnt mind if they had just bothered not doing it so much. they do it WAY TOO OFTEN!

in the 4th move they didnt even fucking bother drawing the kids wet while they were in the water. no wet droopy hair, no indication the clothing was soaked, nothing. not a god damn fucking detail or anything.

The nostalgia bait

Hey kids, remember the bus in the digital world??? remember the gear desert? remember the house mimi was a princess in?? remember the pink forest? remember seadramon? remember the dark masters???? remember any of that shit!? remember primary village?! YEAH??? REMEMBER ALL THOSE COOL 01 THINGS??? ok cool, anyway moving on.

The lack of personality/soul

one thing im really passionate about is expressions. expressive characters and facial expressions i something i enjoy drawing a lot. in the original digimon, every character was spesifically designed to be its own thing. sure they stank of the 90s, but they wer UNIQUE. Digimon tri has trown all that shit out the window. Now they all look boring as hell. the only unique thing about them now is their hair. take that away, and you get a bunch of similar looking, boring samefaced characters.

the digimon movies are just so fucking SOULLESS! everyone looks so god damn watered down and tame compared to their former selves. everyone wears a school uniform even when they got summer vacation. they even wear school uniforms as they get to the digital world, and they have NO facial expressions. NONE! the way they talk and show emotions is almost nonexistant. even once they are seriously screaming at someone or focusing on something serious, they still have that stale, boring as shit facial expression. stone faced and COLD! its like you dont even care!! seriously its so frustrating to watch sometimes because they are so god damn bland and barely deviate at all from their typical “idle” face.

^count how many fucking times tai makes this face troughout the entire series.

^am i the only one who thinks they looks very..bland and dull here? and this happens way too often.

seriously, watch the movies again and notice just how little the animators bothered giving them any fucking emotions. the screenshots here are just from a few minutes in the new movie.

And dont get me started on how everyone seemed so.........accepting of tais “death” i mean sure they might still be in shock,.....but......why did none of pic under appear????

WHy was everyone so.....noble??? except kari...who got....fucking owned.

and the digimon....most of them are just....comic relief now. i feel like most of them have little personality, but fucking agumon. what the FUCK have they done to agumon!? hes just a walking talking “i like to eat” joke. hes fucking nothinng. an empty boring sack of shit who just talks about food and NOTHING ELSE!! oh and maybe fights sometimes...but seriously.

The BAIT.

The trailers for these movies have made me fall into the bait they put out. But its getting infuriating now. All the trailer bait for movie 5 was just taken form the last 5 minutes of the film. that little teaser we all thought were going to show the dark ocean? yeah that was what….5 seconds at the very last minute of the movie? Hime was the one who went there, and they even rushed that part.

remember when we all tought that tai was the kaiser because the animators thought they copy the excact same hairstyle? remember how they all baited us with the kaiser thinking we were gonna get some 02 action? i sure as FUCK do.

i LOVED the last minutes of the movies. i loved the last half of episode 3 and the entire episode 4… but im so fucking angry that i have to wait 4-6 months for the conclusion to when the movie was JUST GETTING INTERESTING! i fucking hate it!!

The 02 kids, or lack thereof.

Ok honestly ive completely forgotten about them, and i dont understand why they bothered putting them in this movie. and they give us absolutly nothing to go on for ALL of the movies! WHY? WHATS THE POINT?! with this series endless stalling, how can they possibly explain their absence or death or whatever in what little time we have left?! how will they half ass this?! i seriously dont get how they can begin with something so intense, only to give us absolutly nothing till the last movie, IF AT ALL!

Taichis “””””””””””””””””death.”””””””””””””””””

So the fuckers had the BALLS to kill off my boi tai. They actually went there. they fucking killed him off. AND LEFT IT ON A CLIFFHANGER! wow fucking good job guys, you sure got me there. i cant believe tai is fucking dead.

except wait a second here…..tai isnt dead. of course he fucking isnt. i mean come the fuck on, are you really expecting them to kill off their marketig king? the face of all their merc? PLEASE! we all fucking know that hes going to come back. THEY BASICALLY SPOILED THE MOVIES FOR US ALREADY, didnt they say in an interview far back that these movies were whats going to lead everyone up to their careers? so why the fuck would tai die when we know hes going to be an ambassador?

i dont fucking understand why they even bothered with this fake ass death. WE KNOW HES GOING TO COME BACK! im not mad that tai “died,” im mad that they actually bothered making it a cliffhanger, as if we arent going to fucking figure out hes coming back in the next movie. WHATS THE POINT?! Are they going to just shove him off till the last 5 minutes of the last movie? is that it? are they going to do what they did to kari? or are we FINALLY going to see tai resolving his persional issues that have been shoved away to make room for everything else? who knows, who cares at this point?!

The conclusion

Digimon tri was something enjoyable for me to look forward to..but now, its just a bunch of frustrating, medicore, nostalgia cash-grabbing shitfests of movies, and i need to get it out of my system.

Im angry because i have to wait 4-6 months between each movie only to get nothing. im angry that i have to wait 4-6 months for an hour long movie that has actual content thats 20 minutes long. im sick of having my excpectations set to low, only for them to be lowered even more. im sick of seeing meiko basically becoming the main characters as the others are somewhat side characters at this point. im sick of the shit-tier animation quality and the stone-bored dull surprise faces. im sick of wanting this to be good, only to see that the fucking directors and animators arent even fucking trying anymore. Im sad, that the sequel was put in the hands of incompetent fucks who only know digimon trough their most basic character traits, and nothing more.

i do like tri...and im sad to see it go so soon….but part of me wants to get this over with, because if you like it or not, tri isnt a passionate fan sequel. tri is a boring, mediocre cash grab, and im sad it cantt be more then that, and im sad its over soon...

#Digimon tri #digimon adventure tri #rant #digimon #digimon tri spoilers

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newidaho · 5 years

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3. FuTech Virtual Home School

Don’t have the time/patience/desire to read with your eyes? Don’t have eyes? Well, have your friend read you this: You can check out the audiobook for free on Apple, Google, Stitcher, or Spotify. Subscribe for new episodes every Wednesday!

12 December 2054

This was one of the most beautiful classrooms Charlie had been in all year. The beach scene was especially nice considering it was winter in New Idaho. Of course, it never got too cold by the Jungle, but if he ever happened to visit the mountains on the edge of town, Charlie had to wear at least a couple layers. It was nice to be on a balmy beach in the middle of December.

Of course, most of the heat was in his head. Though his visual environment showed him sitting on a beach in a group of about 50 other kids, looking out at the sun reflecting off the crashing ocean waves, the actual temperature he felt was no hotter than the room he sat in. After four hours of class, however, it was easy to forget that this was a simulation—even though the sand underneath him obviously felt like carpet.

‘So, to recap. If you see a number next to a letter, what does that mean?’ Mr. Carlson stood at the front of the classroom, the dark-skinned math teacher Charlie had met earlier that fall. He had never met Mr. Carlson in person, of course, so it’s hard to gauge whether this was what he actually looked like. It was always easier, however, to just believe that nobody doctored their looks in the Virtual Environment. Charlie himself certainly hadn’t changed his avatar. Even if he had the money to spend on a decent app for that, none of the students at FuTech were allowed to alter their appearance. Technically, the same rule went for teachers. There were rumors, however, that some of the richer students were able to get around this rule. And it wasn’t hard to believe that the more popular teachers could get around it too.

‘Multiplication!’ The response was voiced with varied excitement by about 20 students. At FuTech VR HomeSchool, it was drilled into the students to be grateful for their opportunity to have an education, and especially to have an education at FuTech. After all, it was God’s Will that His children be educated, and the FuTech community was put here to train children and adults alike to carry out this Will in this next generation of Virtual Reality. What some might call “Displaced Humanity,” FuTech called “Empowered Humanity”. These new worlds, went the idea, were put here by the Lord Himself. The Devil was in these worlds too, of course, but FuTech vehemently denied that Satan had any but the smallest influence in any of their students or simulations (for they oughtn’t deny original sin). They prided themselves on their acknowledgement of God’s gifts. That’s why all the freshmen were trained to respond with vitality to all their lessons, even though many were quite tired after four hours of classes.

‘Great. That will do for today.’ Mr. Carlson started to put his belongings in order. Charlie always thought it was funny when Mr. Carlson cleaned up—he could easily

program his papers to organize themselves. Of course, part of the responsibility of Empowered Humanity was that they mustn’t forget the history of humans on Earth—Jesus had left them to act without such technological shortcuts for at least 2025 years, after all. Mr. Carlson put his papers into his briefcase and continued, ‘Why don’t we stand for prayer.’

With a smile, Mr. Carlson motioned for everyone to stand up. A breeze blew the palm trees around them, lending ambiance to the situation even if Charlie couldn’t feel it. He noticed, however, that a couple of the students around him shivered. This implied a couple possibilities. First, they were likely in a sensory chamber, whether rented or owned. Second, they had the money to rent or own a sensory chamber. Charlie knew jealousy was a sin, but he couldn’t help but wish he could have felt even more present on this beach.

‘In the name of the Father and the Son we join hands in the Other World.’ The students moved into a circle and joined hands. It wasn’t quite like holding hands in real life, but Charlie at least felt a pressure somewhat resembling a human hand due to his Lucid Gauntlets. His were a couple generations behind, but at least it didn’t feel like he was holding onto nothing.

‘Heavenly father,’ Carlson started, ‘We gather here today, blessed as ever, under your watchful eye. We thank you for this entrance into a whole new world, and we thank you for watching over us not only in this world that we share together today, but in the world that we all return to when we remove our Masks. We pray that we may stay ever grateful for this new opportunity for education, and as always, for these new tools that you have inspired humans to create. We thank you for the community these tools inspire and for the sense of belonging and kinship they allow us to feel toward each other and You. We ask that you may further guide us in our pursuit of knowledge and that we may continue to learn and prosper with these new technologies. We ask this in your name, and in the name of the Virtual Savior to come, Amen.’

‘Amen!’

‘We will have 15 minutes until the lobby closes. If you wish, please stay around and speak about what you learned today. I will be here if any of you have questions about the final.’

About a quarter of the students walked into the palm trees, out of sight. Another quarter dove into the waves. This representation of logging out provided a more realistic visual than the flash of light that might have been imagined by science fiction writers in the early century. The remaining half of the students either went to talk with Mr. Carlson in a small group or stayed behind to talk with each other.

Charlie already knew how he wanted to spend his Extra Time. As soon as the prayer circle finished, he had smiled and waved at a beautiful dark-skinned classmate across the circle, effectively welcoming her to talk with him when the day had finished. Charlie, at 13, was admittedly awkward around girls, but something about the simulation gave him some extra confidence.

‘Hey Gamma,’ said Charlie when they finally met.

‘Hi Charlie. How was your day?’

‘Oh, you know. It’s school. It’s not always fun, but the Lord provided this beautiful beach for us to learn on. And we get to use what we learn to do the Lord’s work. So it’s good.’

‘You sound like Mr. Carlson.’

‘Well, good! Mr. Carlson is very smart!’

Gamma smiled.

‘So what are you going to do the rest of the day?’ Charlie asked her.

‘My dad wants me to help him outside. It’s starting to snow, and he wants to put little sweaters on some of our trees.’

‘That’s cute.’

‘It’s a little silly—like, why have trees if they can’t grow on their own? Isn’t that something trees are supposed to do? But my dad tells me that even though God makes the weather we need, we still can’t assume it will be good for our trees. He says that he wouldn’t put me out in the winter without a sweater, and the tree is like another kid, in a way.’

‘It’s really that cold where you’re at?’

‘Oh, you know, it’s not that cold. But we get a little bit of snow around this time of year. Especially over on the other side of the valley. But it only really happens at night. During the day it hardly ever goes below 50 degrees.’

‘It’s not cold at all where I live.’

‘Oh, where do you live?’

‘&^%#))@$!.’ Charlie could feel his lips move, but what he heard was a symphony of computerized beeps and blips. It was one of the failsafe measures of the FTVRHS—you couldn’t swear and you couldn’t give away any personal information.

Gamma laughed. ‘Oh yeah? Sounds like a pretty tough place to grow up!’

Charlie laughed with her, but he had a feeling she could guess where he lived. Just as it was obvious to him that she lived on the edge of town. It made sense. Gamma was beautiful in that way that he had noticed rich girls generally were. And if she had indeed guessed he lived in South Jungle, he doubted he would ever have a chance. But maybe, if it was God’s Will….

‘Oh!’ Gamma said, ‘We’re getting the five minute warning! I think I’ll probably head out anyway. My dad is waiting for me on the other side. But it was nice talking to you, Charlie! Maybe we can hang out sometime if we ever get play-date permission!’ Gamma squeezed Charlie’s hand goodbye, then ran into the waves and dove into the ocean.

Charlie accessed his own in-simulation menu by holding his arms out straight in front if him with his palms together, turning them ninety degrees, and spreading his arms apart vertically. He placed his hand at the bottom of the menu, waving it over ‘Exit’.

Charlie’s screen went black and he removed his Lucid Mask. His room was a much less attractive backdrop than the beach, that was for sure. For one, he only had one small window—not much natural light. He had a small bookshelf in the northeast corner of his room and a desk in the northwest corner. His bed was leaned vertically against the wall, a measure he needed to take whenever he went into the Virtual Classroom. Otherwise there just wasn’t enough room to walk around. He slowly lowered his bed to the floor, lay on it, and looked at the ceiling, ready to contemplate the world.

Charlie had just barely begun his meditations when his mother simultaneously knocked and entered his room. Charlie’s mother was still rather young, but she looked older than her age. Though she had never been much for exercise, she certainly hadn’t treated her body well since Charlie’s birth, and at thirty, she was experiencing significant sagging in her gut and jowls. She had kind eyes, but a hardened demeanor, and it was obvious she hadn’t come into Charlie’s room to catch up on his day.

‘Hey mom.’

‘Hi Charlie. How was school.’

‘It was good.’ Charlie paused, planning to elaborate, but his mother continued before he could.

‘That’s good. Hey, take five minutes or so, but then I need you to play some Mineshaft before dinner.’

Charlie liked video games, but after four hours in Virtual Reality, his eyes were rather tired. Plus, even the most enjoyable activities feel less fun when they are forced upon you.

‘Hey!’ Charlie’s mom said. His face must have given him away. ‘How do you think we can afford a Mask for you in the first place? How do you think we pay rent in here so you have a roof over your head? And all I’m asking is an hour of your time, to play a video game. Do you realize how lucky you have it? This was not a thing when your grandfather was growing up, I’ll tell you that. You couldn’t get paid to play video games for an hour. But now that hour will buy us two nights of dinner. So be grateful. Okay?’

‘Okay,’ Charlie said. ‘I am grateful, mom. I’ll see you in an hour.’

‘Okay,’ his mother said and walked out of the room. Charlie took a breath, tilted his bed back again the wall, and put his mask back on. In his home menu, located in a room Charlie had set to a Japanese Dojo, Charlie waved his hand over the green cube with a big dollar sign over it. The cube opened up, and three objects floated out. He waved his hand over the one shaped like a pick-axe.

The Dojo disappeared, and Charlie was in a dark mineshaft. About 200 feet ahead of him was a wall made purely of Gold. So that was what he would be handling for the next hour, he thought. A girl greeted him with a small cup of ore. He took the cup from her and passed it on to the girl behind him. He then received an empty cup from another boy behind him and passed it to the girl in front of him, who passed it up to the wall, where about 50 other individuals mined with pick axes. This is what he would be doing for the next hour. It wasn’t the most enthralling video game in the world, but at least he got paid for it.

Five people away, Charlie saw another boy remove a small sword from his back and decapitate a rat half his size as it pounced toward him. Charlie shuddered. There was something real about that aspect of the game. He hoped he wouldn’t have to kill any rats today. He took another cup from the girl in front of him and thought about Gamma, out in the sun, wisps of snow around her, putting knitted sweaters around young trees.

#New Idaho #Ben Vizy #New Novel #Writing #WRiting Community #Novelist #Novel Writing #2054 #Augmented Reality #Futurism #Virtual Reality #Virtual Classroom #Private School #Religious School

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