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#i dont even remember what the post i found the memes on said
rafeandonlyrafe · 4 months
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Depending on who’s account you go on I think people have proof that she’s a Zionist but also I’m not positive on that
assuming this is about odessa so i decided to dig into this a bit because i am very much an anti zionist and support the liberation of palestine and the IMMEDIATE ceasefire and end to the genocide
it seems like the main reason people are saying she is a zionist is because she attended a party (carter gregorys friendsgiving party on nov 9th) that had other celebrities there that are zionists. i don't think the person who hosted the party is a zionist (from what i can tell) but obviously if you still choose to hang out with zionists it's pretty telling. odessa may have been unaware who all was attending, it's impossible to tell.
odessa reposted the below pics (i got them off twitter) which clearly and openly says free palestine but please note i could NOT find this post when searching the profile
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so if it was just this i could probably overlook the party, but i found another thing on twitter that she follows and liked amy schumers post
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i did my own search of this and she definitely still follows amy schumer but i couldn't see that she liked the post (i followed her to make sure i could see because it appears that instagram isn't letting you search the likes) so either instagram isn't showing it or she unliked
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then to continue she posted this (again taken from twitter) from an israeli whose entire account is dedicated to zionism. they even called free palestine protests a call for violence against jews which is obviously bullshit. again, i couldn't find this specific post but i also couldn't spend too much time on the page, it started to make me feel literally sick
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that is all i could find in terms of her being a zionist but i dont think reposting one free palestine post from what seems to be a mostly meme account with no real direct help (such as ways to donate or more information on what is happening) reverses all the other things she has done
i also found other things about odessa but it's nothing i can confirm without another deep dive and honestly im tired of this 😭 but for full transparency she is said to support people who have committed sa (which i do believe because she follows amy schumer who has openly admitted to assaulting her younger sister), that she is a drunk driver and that she is xenophobic
also one last thing:
do not look up to any celebrity. to go off on a little tangent i used to write fanfiction for footballers, and then a whole slew of them came out and supported a rapist. i was so disappointed but it really taught me a lot about supporting celebrities. im not saying you can't be a fan of someone but just remember that they definitely have viewpoints you disagree with and are bound to disappoint you.
it's the main reason why this is a rafe blog and not a drew blog. rafe is fictional. when drew does something wrong i can very easily separate myself from that. i couldn't with my football blog because it was directly about the real people.
im not sure what to say to sum this all up so i will leave you with this:
free palestine ❤️
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Fandom song animatic tournament: Bracket 1 Side B Round 3
Soldier, Poet, King - The Oh Hellos
"There will come a soldier Who carries a mighty sword He will tear your city down Oh lei, oh lai, oh, Lord"
Saint Bernard - Lincoln
"Hung pictures of patron saints up on my wall To remind me that I am a fool Tell me where I came from, what I will always be Just a spoiled little kid who went to Catholic school"
Remember that we're voting on how Iconic they are for ANIMATICS, not for the song itself. In order to make things fair, the tone and mood of the song should not affect how iconic it is (for example, a serious song should not be considered more iconic than a joke song just because it's serious)
Propaganda and animatic links of the songs under the cut:
Soldier, Poet, King - The Oh Hellos
Propaganda:
Everyone was doing animatics of this. The meme was that you’d choose one of your blorbos to represent the “soldier,” one for the “poet”, and one for the “king.” The original point of the song is that “soldier poet and king” are all one person, and that person is Jesus, but literally no one cares about that. Who needs Jesus when you have Warrior Cats?
What's that?...it's supposed to be about Jesus? NOT ANYMORE, BABEY!! It's about my BLORBOS
It's a really nice song and can highlight different characters and their talents/abilities
If your fandom is fantasy, has a fantasy au, or characters that fit the roles, this can works. Can probably fit any fandom.
you look this song up on yt and youre going to find an animatic with it for every fandom in existence i stg man
Animatics with the song:
Song of Achilles
DSMP Sleepy Bois Animatic
Genshin Impact
The Owl House
The Adventure Zone
Saint Bernard - Lincoln
Propaganda:
Its got that sick clapping for smooth frame changes, and it's got all the applications babeyy. Low self esteem hero? Sure! Sympathetic villain? You got it! Morally grey character? Come on in. "Make me love myself so that i might love you" can be about god, friends, a partner, a found family, you name it. "Dont make me a liar cause i swear to god when i said it i thought it was true" can be about anything. Your best friend is evil now? A betrayal?? A disillusioned hero??? "Neither of us will be missed" girlies i am peeing from how good this song is for angst.
"the st. bernard sits at the TOP OF THE DRIVE WAY" makes for a very cool and sexy shot transition. you seen the beau lionett animatic set to this?
tik tok picked up the audio a bit cause the drop into distortion is great, but also the vocals and imagery as they stand are excellent. there's at least four ace attorney ones alone and they all focus on different characters (Blackquill/Sahdmadhi, Klavier, van Zieks, and Edgeworth) and the van Zieks one was posted shortly before the official localization was released. also idk if it's on youtube but there's also one for bass.exe on tumblr which is also excellent
Animatics with the song:
Omori
Five Nights at Freddy's Michael Afton Animatic
3rd Life Impulse Animatic
DSMP Revivebur Animatic
The Owl House
Please be cautious and read the title, description and warning cards on the animatic videos if you decide to watch them. If you've got specific triggers I'd recommend even more caution when watching animatics of fandoms you don't know, since sometimes canon-typical themes don't get warnings.
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purpleandstarlight · 5 months
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@hateweasel it's time for yet another part. I'm kinda trying to space them a few hours at a time so as not to spam but if it bothers u still lmk and I'll just go like 1 or 2 a day?
-DLTD: "Chapter 259: The Messiah is Among US"
Me: ...Sus.
-Me: This happened before Among Us was even released, wich makes it funnier...
My friend: The real messiah is the author...
Me: Immagine being the messiah but writing a fanfic longer than the bible that is all about demons.
-A villain was talking to a minion named "Bigby" but i somehow?? misread it as "babygirl" and it was hilarious to me.
-Copypasting this meme from a message:
DLTD:"The blonde giggled almost uncontrollably as he pulled away to see Ciel blushing from being hugged in front of his arch-nemesis; a hue that only darkened, spreading to his ears when the blonde kissed him. All the Hellsing woman did in response was roll her visible eye and climb back into her car."
Hellsing: [Insert the Queer People Ciel meme here]
-The start of me realizing Dan is fruity, and my friend beginning to ship Dan x Kris because of me...Its the beginning of a tragedy.
-Me being rightfully upset about the love potion and hating DaffyDuck even more. I HATE the concept of Love Potions. They're creepy. I'm grateful of the fact that you recognized that and incorporated how creepy they are into the story.
-In a one-off chapter, Ciel had to babysit Luka and was like "Oh well he's just gonna watch the TV I can mind my own business" wich concerned me greatly at the time because YOU DONT LEAVE KIDS ALONE!!! EVEN IF THEYRE JUST WATCHING THE TV!! THEYRE KIDS!! THEY ARE A DANGER TO THEMSELVES!!! thankfully Ciel followed Luka soon after and I calmed down.
-i kept calling professor Irons "The iconic professor", as we all should. Then at one point I called him "Iron" and my friend corrected me. My friend. Who has heard the name once or twice from me long before that happened vs me who was actually reading the fanfic for several hundreds of chapters. I am really bad at names.
-When Ciel was scared for Oliver in the "found a dismembered foot while on a school trip" arc I was losing it too bc I was, and always will be, an Oliver Midford Stan.
-I at this point in the past told my friend about the Travis-tells-everyone-he-discovered-the-truth-ages-ago scene, wich caused present me to remember something that I should probably tell u in the rereading commentary, and I have a tumblr post about it already anyway, BUT. THE WAY THAT HAPPENS LIKE 20 CHAPTERS IN, BEFORE TRAVIS WAS EVEN FRIEND OR INTERACTED MUCH WITH ALOIS. AND STILL WENT "Okay so my new classmate is actually a Demon who eats souls but you know what? That's his business." AND THEN BEFRIENDS SAID DEMON. ICONIC. LEGENDARY. HILARIOUS.
Like I think you just forgot that they weren't really friends back then yet (i think this happened before the haunted house, or maybe slightly after, but way before they were actually pals?) but?? It's funnier this way.
Mate saw an acquintance he barely spoke to make a deal with another schoolmate and promised to eat her soul in exchange and he went "This is nothing to be concerned about." and moved on with his life.
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0809sysblings · 3 months
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Mikoto - 8, 9, 11, and 12!
(I forgot if I sent you an ask already, I'm sorry if I did!)
you MAY have sent an ask for this ask game the first time i reblogged it??? i have no idea actually, but if you did that wouldve been Months ago, so ur good either way dw!
hello this is future 08and09systemtruther: i found the ask and you asked for Mr. John Milgram, not Mikoto! so yippee!
kinda long so. read more be upon ye
8. what is your theory for their crime? if there is general consensus on it in the fandom, do you have any other, not-so-widely-accepted thoughts on it?
no clue!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i honestly dont. really. have a super good idea as to what his crime even was other than he bonked someone, or multiple ppl, with a baseball bat. like. who did he even kill. what was the motive. what did the person(s) he killed do to trigger him into needing to protect himself. and i doubt we'll get answers to these questions until trial 3 considering John is very adamant about protecting Mikoto from the stress that comes with even thinking about that stuff. and John himself said he doesn't even remember a lot of the details and that his memory of it is fuzzy so. fucking RIP us i guess.
anyway. as for... i guess any sort of theory... uh... i've always liked the stalker theory.. though i guess i'm not As sure about it since Double's release but... i just think it explains all the camera imagery nicely.. though there's also other explanations for "being watched" being a theme for Mikoto so... who knows, i sure don't.
as I think about it, I wonder if the victim we see in MeMe getting bonked by Mikoto is maybe one of his coworkers... like... i don't know why Milgram would put so much focus on his Working Life if it didn't have Some connection with the crime... and a connection other than "this was making him so stressed that he was more prone to snapping under pressure"... or else Backdraft would've shown Fuuta in college-- /j. like I really hope he killed his boss, but i don't think that happened unfortunately... i guess it's still possible but... idk.
9. do you forgive/not forgive their crime on its own?
on its own... that would depend on what "on its own" means, exactly... like take everything other than the crime itself out of the equation? if so, then... well. my answer is not a yes or no but is instead:
i don't think you can, nor really should, judge a crime just on its own and not consider anything else about it. as Kotoko put it...
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Q: What do you think about extenuating circumstances? A: I think it's a necessary way of thinking. I don't think that committing a crime in itself is evil, so it's only natural to judge while taking a person's situation into account.
thank you Kotoko for your wisdom. i look forward to seeing your interrogation questions this trial. do not hold back i want to see you in all your traumatized glory.
anyway. yeah. that's my answer i guess. though not to say i believe this for Every Single Crime Ever. i do believe there are crimes where... it's... a little difficult... to look past the inherent nature of it...
that being said i think murder should be legal at a federal level so of course i forgive his crime! /j
tl;dr: yeah i do because i don't think you should judge actions without looking at the whole picture. "i thought you said you dont even know what the details of his crime are--" dont worry about it <3
11. what are your favorite points about their story and the narrative surrounding them?
hm..... well for one I'm always here for bashing the living hell that is The Working Culture, so hell yeah to that 🍻! I'm also a fan of just... the questions it poses about mental illness and culpability and the complications that arise when trying to take those types of extenuating circumstance into account.
of course I like the DID rep, and I think it's done very well so always a fan of that. I like just mentioned this in a post so oops but. as i said there, i really like how his DID isn't only portrayed as super clear-cut alters that like... never blend together. there is a good balance between how distinct they are and how much self agency they have, and then also how they influence each other. imo.
if we get to learn more about his family and what his home life was like growing up... I'm sure I will be a very big fan of that. here's a meme that I'm in love with that's sorta related I guess.
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12. what do you wish would be discussed more often about them in the fandom?
as I was looking for your Possible Past Ask, i found another ask i answered for Mikoto by an anon in which I answered this. and i guess this is still my answer to this question?? so ill just copy and paste it <3
" I wouldn’t say I’m super involved with most of the fandom tbh, so I don’t particularly know all too well what is and isn’t talked about by people… but.. I’d maybe like to see some more discussion on aspects of him that are like… not just about The Alters. since theres a lot more to DID than just having alters, and of course there is more to a person with DID than just their DID. I’m always a slut for talking about psychology and the impacts of trauma, so… perhaps more trauma discussion. I do know there’s already people who talk about this stuff, so tbh this is mostly just what I myself want to eventually get around to talking about but mKFMDF yeah. "
ty for the ask!!
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objectlovingobject · 8 months
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Hello!! I apologize if this has already been asked, or if your asks aren't open currently.
I am heavily questioning objectum, and wondered how you found out/realized it yourself
And, any tips on telling friends ? I am very open with telling my freinds stuff about myself, I am Very anxious and scared about telling them, though
Howdy!
For me, i had a mini awakening when i realized i felt that plushies were sentient(obj sentience is not a requirement of being objectum) and that i could have relationships with them(i conflated platonic feelings for semi romantic during a period of great trauma, but in general i only feel platonic or familial to plushies) i think i had knowledge of what objectum was before that tho, bc i remember googling objectum a little after >< but i forgot abt objectum once i put those stuffies away(they reminded me of sadness)
But my 'true' awakening was a yr or so ago? I was on my computer(dont remember what i was doing) and i looked over at him(my compy) and i was filled with like. Intense affection and desire, so i like... started to kiss him and stuff and wrote some posts on my other blog, before making this one >< but i made this blog so i could figure my stuff out and interact with the community and learn about the culture haha, but also its fun to make posts ^^
When it came to telling friends, i think what i did first was ask if they knew what objectum was, then i said something along the lines of 'ya know when people are in love with their cars? Thats me but my computer' they were v nice and understanding, and its a bit of a meme now lol, like when we watch bobs burgers and bob talks to his utensils/food me and my friends go like 'epic objectum moment' or 'objectum win' and stuff ><
But id gauge their tolerance by asking what they know abt objectum and then slowly leading the convo to saying that you might be ^^
I hope all goes well for you, and i hope ur friends are chill haha! Good luck in ur objectum journey, even if you end up not being objectum ^^
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otheliame · 3 years
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Someone came to yell at me in my sage simping post but I can't actually see it when I open the post notes let's play a game called is tumblr just bad or did they block me bc they took my clowning tag at face value
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ponett · 2 years
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When/how did you get interested in FiM? It was what, 11 years ago it came out, heck of a long time since then
(I didnt care about it for the first year or two, I dont even remember how I ended up getting into it, so I wonder what other people found out about it from)
the details are a little hazy since it's been so long, but it was during season one in early 2011. i'd seen it around a lot since its premiere - even before it blew up, since i was hearing about the hub in general through transformers news sites. but people were posting memes about it everywhere. at some point a friend and i were just like "everyone's saying this is one of the best cartoons on the air, we gotta see if it can hold a candle to adventure time." i watched the first four episodes on youtube and thought it was good, but it didn't completely win me over. (there was definitely part of me that was still resistant to watching a doll cartoon for little girls at the time.) and then i'm pretty sure my friend went and watched the rest without me and said it was good so i had to catch up lol
then its "there's no wrong way to be a girl" message really resonated with me and eventually made me realize i was a girl
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tommybaholland · 3 years
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Hiya! I was wondering if I could request a one-shot with Sugawara where the reader is his best friend and secretly loves him but he doesn’t know? Then maybe another person catches his attention and the reader starts to distance themselves from Suga to try to spare themselves the hurt? Then maybe turns out the other person was just using Suga/wasn’t serious bout him and he realizes that the person he really loves is the reader but now they’re staying away from him and just angst and fluff and dramatic confessions?? Sorry if it’s far too much detail, I get carried away. Your writing is amazing, keep up the fantastic work!
somebody, some body
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featuring: sugawara 
goddddd i’m so sorry i am late with a post AGAIN. this has been way overdue to be posted actually, and last night i finished it and was almost done with editing but accidentally lost everything i added and edited in the draft :// so thank you for being patient with me! this ended up being pretty long, so hopefully that makes up for the wait :) anyway, i really liked this idea! i have a little personal experience with this kind of situation, so it was fun to explore those feelings a bit. thanks for requesting and enjoy!
you didn’t always know that you would be in love with koshi sugawara. your dynamic was always friendly, and nothing more. so where did you go wrong?
when you think back to your history with suga, you could never find yourself resenting any time you spent with him. it all started when you moved into his neighborhood and as a shy child, you didn’t have the easiest time making friends. but he was a kind boy who was around your age and made it easy for you to form a bond with him. after all those years, neither one of you had changed that much. you were still reserved at heart but, he was the one who pushed you to things that you both could enjoy. 
one is joining the high school volleyball club together. you weren’t usually one to go outside of your comfort zone, but with him, you felt like you could do anything. he had you fuel your enthusiasm and you had him to thank for that. volleyball ended up being a great idea because it was quite a versatile sport that anyone could play. you found that you were quite athletic and took a liking to the libero position. there was just something exciting about digging a ball off the ground and rolling on the floor to get back up again. also, it looked pretty cool. 
so that was great until you hurt your shoulder during a game, which ended up being more severe than it seemed. now you couldn’t lift your left arm very far over your head unless you wanted to dislocate your shoulder again. it was already a tough recovery period because all you wanted to do was get back to the game. 
he was there with you for the entirety of it and even though he mostly encouraged you, he had to make sure you knew you wouldn’t do anything to hurt yourself. you felt helpless. it was the lowest he had ever seen you and he did everything he could to lift you back up again.
that was something you could never take for granted with him. 
the thing about you and suga is that you were in constant contact, especially during school. if it wasn’t sending each other funny memes or tiktoks, you were either on snapchat with each other or texting. sometimes simultaneously. 
are you alive?? 
yeah i’m awake, unfortunately
what do u want sugar-wara 
whoa how are you up this early lol and sugar is my thing ok
let’s go get sweet buns before class
ur right, it is ur thing. ur sugar-wara
okay i’ll meet you by the light in 15 
there was a lonely intersection in your neighborhood with a red stoplight that seems to have malfunctioned and now the light never stops blinking. you and suga lived on the same street, with the intersection being a perfect place to literally meet in the middle. 
“hey, sugar-- uh oh. someone doesn’t look so sweet today!”
he was always so peppy in the mornings. 
“yeah, well, maybe if someone didn’t wake me up with their annoying texts..”
“if you really don’t want to be woken up, you’d put your phone on do not disturb. you can thank me later for being your alarm clock.” 
he gave you a bright smile and a few head pats before you set off down the road to your favorite bakery which happened to be on the way to school. you didn’t go every morning, but most days it was necessary for you to start your day off right. 
“how’s the team looking this year, mr. vice captain?”
“pretty good, actually! four first years joined the team and one of them’s over six feet tall. our blocks will be unstoppable!”
 there were several things you loved about suga but, if there was one thing you enjoyed most, it was hearing him get psyched about volleyball. even though you couldn’t play anymore, his undying enthusiasm for the sport made you feel like you were living through him vicariously. 
“and there’s one who’s on the shorter side, only a little taller than noya. but he seems to have so much energy and drive, it’s just-- i don’t know, i have a feeling we could actually make it to nationals this year.” 
“wow, that’s great!” 
“you should come to practice and see them! also we just got asahi back so i need to make sure my sets really land.” 
“kou, you know i love watching you guys but isn’t that what kiyoko’s there for?”
“well, yeah, but you know how i play best!”
“yeah, sure. it’s not like i have anything better to do.” 
“you never let me down!” 
 his smile never let you down. 
it was your senior year of high school and it felt like things were going to be nothing but great.
“so...speaking of you knowing me best,” he started rather hesitantly.
“what would you do if i...made you dinner?”
“i...what?”
“oh, uh, oh, no. not, like, i make you dinner but, like...rei finally agreed to come around tonight and i thought i’d make something for them.”
“oh, um,” you tried to force a smile. “yeah, i think they’d like that.”
“yeah? you don’t think it’s too cheesy or anything? we haven’t hung out very much but i’d thought it would be a nice way to show them that i mean what i feel, you know?”
“yeah, yeah! that sounds perfect, kou..”
if only they knew that they were so lucky. 
you knew about this person, rei. they were your teammate and even a friend at one time. they transferred to karasuno during your second year and you bonded over your shared interest of the libero position. they didn’t get to play much that season until you got injured and had to quit playing. 
to see them fill that position so easily, it made you feel so type of way. a way that suga couldn’t know because even though he was there for you, he couldn’t deny his feelings. you remember when he told you that he liked them. about how he’s liked them ever since they came to karasuno and about how he was nervous to talk to them. 
and guess what?
you encouraged him. you encouraged him to try to pursue someone who you knew and liked, so now you had to hide that you were envious of both their position on the team AND the fact that your best friend is in love with them. 
at first, you tried to look at it as a positive point. you were still friendly with them, but volleyball was the only thing that connected you so you didn’t talk to them that much anymore. but now that suga, the person you’re closest to, was talking to them, it opened up the possibility that you would be able to reconnect with them. you had to be supportive. you were his friend, his closest friend, after all. 
-
the next morning you didn’t wake up from a text from suga. no, it took several snooze buttons to wake you up, which already put you in a bad mood. 
it’s ur turn now. are u alive??
i actually woke up to my alarms, how weird. u must be dead lol 
also have you done the english assignment yet? i need serious help >_<
you weren’t afraid to double, triple, even quadruple text him because more often than not, he did that to you. sometimes he’d even send longish paragraphs as he did later that day when classes had already started. 
hey sorry today has just been filled with fun and thriving and good stuff! rei asked me if i wanted to meet up with them before school last night and they made me some sweet buns and they were soooo good. i think we’re going to eat lunch together with some of their friends from vbc. ugh english sucks for me too. idk why you think i’m good at it
you almost jumped at the gesture to reply. it was never this long that he would go without text you at least one dumb thing. 
haha it’s okay don’t be sorry! so i guess last night went well?
also ur great at english sugar-wara what r u talking about??
it surprised you how quickly they seemed to become so friendly. it was kinda weird that he would already be spending a lot of time with her and now meeting all her friends. he probably already knew of them though, with volleyball and everything. the thoughts of how long you would have to wait for a reply crept in your mind, but that was quickly erased by an elapsed period of only a few minutes. 
yeah it went great! they had never had someone cook for them before, so they really liked it. this morning they told me they’d show me how to make fried eggs bc i said i dont know how to use a stove lol 
wait you made a whole meal for this person and u don’t know how to use the stove??
i used a crockpot and microwave ok :// don’t make fun of me dingus 
well a stove would definitely broaden ur horizons lmao that’s nice it went well though 
thank you i hope its going well 
that conversation was truly the end of the beginning. 
Every day after that seemed to happen the same way. you’d wake up, no text from suga. he hadn’t even replied to what you last said the previous night. you didn’t see him much either, but you knew who he was with probably. you would still stop by at volleyball practice where you did get to see him but they were there also. so you found yourself dipping out a lot more. 
it just felt weird. seeing him talk to someone he didn’t even know before. they didn’t even know him. even when you two were on the team together, they never once showed much interest in him and now it just seemed strange that they would. 
the transition was particularly difficult for you, as much as you didn’t want to admit it. one night you were so overwhelmed with work because you had waited too long to do it. frantically texting suga was an understatement. 
you knew you couldn’t put all your reliance on him but it was weird that he wasn’t replying on a school night as he was just as much a procrastinator as you. you dragged yourself through the night, trying to put together a somewhat coherent speech for english the next day. which, again, started as it had for the past few weeks. you still hadn’t heard from him, but it doesn’t even matter anymore. by the time he replied, it was almost embarrassing on your part. 
oh my god y/n i’m so sorry i didn’t reply sooner. i tried to get all my work done early so i could hang out with rei last night and i was asking my mom for advice and she told me to just pay attention to them as much as possible so i just wanted to be with them, you know? but i really hope you didn’t beat yourself up too much about it and that you got at least a little sleep. i’m sure your speech went well :) 
you sounded desperate for his help and meanwhile, he’s genuinely trying to show someone how much they mean to him. could you look any more stupid? 
you didn’t even want to reply but you felt like you had to. 
no don’t be sorry koshi! if anything i’m sorry i was just super frustrated in the moment and didn’t know what to do. i managed to pull something halfway decent together i think so it’s all okay now 
was it okay though? 
that was when you realized that things would never be the same. you’re his best friend and that’s simply it. you mean something to him, but not the same something that they mean to him. you couldn’t go to him when you help because then you’d be taking his time away from someone who wanted to feel that special meaning. it was a hard pill to swallow, for sure. but there were still several questions that lingered in the potential of what your relationship could be.
isn’t it possible to be both a best friend and a partner at the same time? you didn’t see any problem with it, so why couldn’t it be true? 
-
two weeks past and suga, your best friend, decided to let you in on some news. 
going up against all these powerhouse schools is definitely tough but it’ll help our team in the long run. we’re really amped to play seijoh soon but also i have an s/o now who can come and cheer us on 
WAIT you guys made it official?? when?
haha we’ve been official for like two weeks now 
oh well that’s great! 
(what the actual hell.)
months went by and you saw suga maybe two or three times. and only saw him, usually with the rest of the volleyball team or with rei and their friends. you texted now and then but it wasn’t the same. you had to accept that it wouldn’t be the same, so you did. you had a good group of friends who you spent more of your time with, as well as trying to focus as much as possible on school. entrance exams were coming up and you couldn’t let this be your downfall, even though you and suga had previously talked about possibly going to the same college together. but that wasn’t important anymore. 
you had your priorities and suga had his. 
which was the biggest reason why you decided not to go to the game against aoba johsai. you told him that you would try to make it, if schoolwork and college prep courses would lend you the chance. you were just trying to focus on yourself and work hard in on your own. you still texted him just to show that you still cared. 
sorry i couldn’t make it to the game! how did it go?
we lost :’(( we were so close too 
oh no :( i’m sorry kou. but i know you guys will get them next time!
he never replied, which only made you want to grow further from him. 
summer vacation rolled around and it was about a month out from suga’s birthday. a strange text appeared from someone you didn’t expect. 
Hey so I wanted to get manga for suga for his bday but I cannot for the life of me remember which ones he has so can you try to casually ask him which ones he has? like the next time you guys talk about manga or something?
you felt weird that they were asking for your help, considering that they now spent more time with him than you did. but you weren’t going to completely ignore them either.
to be honest we haven’t talked a whole lot lately but i’ll try to subtly ask him 
Okay awesome thanks!
what were you thinking of getting him?
Deathnote lol nothing original
hmm maybe the new aot volume? 
Yeah, that’s a good one. Or maybe BNHA
yeah that too! do you still want me to ask him? 
Yeah could you? 
yeah sure!
Yay thanks! 
okay i’ll let you know what i find out
going through with this was even worse. if it were you, you’d take him to see his favorite artist in concert. he wasn’t never much of a concert guy but he would talk about how badly he wanted to go see them live. or a more lowkey and personal option would be to customize a crewneck for him. you had a knack for designing and decorating plain-looking clothes and he would try to do it himself but would always remark how much better yours always turned out. 
but this time you’re simply the messenger and wouldn’t get that chance to get him something you know he’d love. not that he wouldn’t like manga, but it just seemed like they weren’t putting a ton of thought into it. maybe you couldn’t blame them though, it had only been a few months that they had been dating. 
that conversation honestly seemed more out-of-the-blue than anything, but you were hoping that suga would be as oblivious as ever. it didn’t even matter in the end because he never even answered your subtle way of asking. you didn’t feel like double texting because a.) you hadn’t done that in months and b.) it seemed too obvious. 
in the end, you did all that you could do and told rei that you had no information to provide, even after a week had passed. that was your, now monthly, interaction with suga that month. 
but it wasn’t like you weren’t thinking about him. 
your interactions moved from text to strictly snapchat, where you would hold streaks for considerable amounts of time. but every time you seemed to break contact with him, you found yourself blaming them. but you couldn’t blame them. they were with him, dating him. they had a right to claim a spot by his side. you had learned to pull back and just live your life. 
but life didn’t want you to have a great time either. albeit through a simple app like snapchat, he was the one asking you if you were okay. at this point, you would probably just deflect but somehow, you found yourself telling him about how you didn’t do so well on your entrance exams, despite having done what you could to prepare for them. you just thought you were so focused to do well, but maybe it was too much focus. you told him it would be alright. another notification came through.
snapchat from sugar wara  
you opened it to a selfie of him, one that was angled upwards to position him looking right up into the camera, his wide hazel eyes being the centerpiece of the photo. the caption simply said, “promise?”
and that was when it happened. you felt something different in your heart like it was knocked around in your chest. you smiled at the simple response and replied, “yeah i promise!!” 
it felt strange, but you finally admitted it, 
you were in love with koshi sugawara. 
timing was, without a doubt, a demise in all of your previous relationship endeavors. you could never seem to get that part right, also coming in too fast or not knowing if you should wait. you had only hoped that someone you liked would like you just as much. so catching feelings for someone, strong feelings at that, was not part of your current life plans. let alone with suga, someone you were, at one point, extremely close to. 
you know so much about him and what scared you was that your confession would be the only one that could mess up whatever relationship you had left with him. why couldn’t you just enjoy where you stood with him? why should your selfish feeling have to get in the way? 
stupid was an understatement as you how you felt. he was still dating rei, and that didn’t look like it was going to end anytime soon. you didn’t know what to do or how to cope. you can fight your feelings, but they can’t change right away. and for as long as you’ve known suga, the history you’ve shared with him, it seemed like these feelings weren’t leaving anytime soon. 
you spent the next couple of weeks trying to get everything out, while simultaneously trying to forget. you vented about it to your friends and while most of them offered advice, you stuck with just remaining stagnant. one of them suggested that you confess to him but that was what you feared most: that your feeling would become so overwhelming that you had to do something impulsive to relieve them. he would probably never talk to you again. there was nothing you could do. he was in a relationship with someone he really likes. why would you try to ruin that for him? 
you didn’t go to any of the preliminaries, mostly because of prep courses and trying to prepare for the next round of entrance exams. you still kept up with suga and saw that they won in the game against seijoh and we now going to the finals against shiratorizawa. you swiped up on his story and typed a simple, “omg that's amazing!! see I knew you guys could do it.” you continue to scroll through your phone, not thinking that much about it until a notification popped up.
sugar wara is typing…
snapchat from sugar wara
yeah it was great! Wish you could have been here though :(
me too! college prep courses seem to have been taking up all my time :P
is there any chance that you could try to find time to come to finals? 
we've been trying to get all the support that we can
plus it would be nice to see a familiar face there :) 
yeah i'll see what i can do to try to be there!
 wymd a familiar face? hasn't rei been going to the prelims?
they have been but we actually broke up about two weeks ago
i sort of initiated it but i promise it's okay
your eyes almost fell out of your head when you read that 2 weeks ago you were talking about how you were in love with him and were and decided to accept that it wasn't going to happen. now you're hearing that at the same time they had broken up? It seemed odd and... bittersweet. 
oh no i'm sorry kou :(
you bit your lip as you couldn't help but ask.
wdym you initiated it tho?
so kageyama has been killing it as our setter especially with his quick attack move with hinata 
rei was worried that i wasn't being treated fairly bc i'm a senior and vice-captain and all that. i tried to reassure them that i just want to see our team thrive and go to nationals but they still were worried about it and would talk about how they would go to games and never see me play once
it's been hard especially that it happened right before the seijoh game and now before finals
yeah i'm sure it's been difficult 
but don't beat yourself don't blame yourself so much! the team needs your support just as much as it needs players. nobody could replace that :)
thanks y/n :) i appreciate you so much
although you thought you would be happy, you can’t help but still feel weird about this whole thing. you felt like the ball was in your court but your bum arm couldn’t receive it properly. your feelings for him had been strong and you felt like you had to pack them all the way so now it just felt wrong to let them flow out again. but now that there was no conflict of interest, did you have to hide your feelings? 
it was more complicated than it was before. you didn't know how anything was going to play out at all and that kinda scared you. you did know one thing though, and that was how to be a loyal friend to suga because that's all you ever were from the start and that's what you could and would be for the future.
-
it was the friday before the finals game. 
you decided to stay late after school to maximize your focus on studying. it seemed to have worked because the sun was going down before you knew it. you wanted to get ahead on work so you could go to the game tomorrow. you and suga had been talking more recently and while it wasn’t as much as it used to be, it was more than it had been in the past several months. 
you quickly gathered up your things and left school for the night. the pretty orange and pink sky lit your way home through the quiet town and into the residential parts. at that point, the dark had met and light and-
“y/n! hey, wait!”
you turned to see none other than suga, jogging up behind you to catch up. you smiled at his sudden presence, looking past him to see the small group of the rest of the team. 
“hey! funny seeing you here.”
“yeah, haha,” he chuckled, catching his breath from suddenly running a considerable distance. “are you going home?”
“yeah.”
“can i walk with you?”
“of course.”
great! so i’m guessing you stayed late at school? you’re still wearing your uniform.”
“oh, yeah,” you affirmed, looking down at your monotonous outfit. “i just wanted to be all caught up on work and studying so i could go to the game tomorrow.”
“oh, yeah? that’s good to hear! yeah, we were-- we just had a late practice. coach left before us but we wanted to stay a little longer.”
“i hope you guys win tomorrow, it seems like you’ve been working really hard.”
“yeah, i hope so too. we’ve come a long way in such a short amount of time, it just feels like we can’t stop now.” 
you nodded in agreement. there was a beat of silence just then, and while it wasn’t awkward, it felt like something was lingering in the air.
“so, um,” he spoke up after several seconds. his eyes met yours and you felt that pang in your chest again, quickly looking away. “it’s been a while, huh?”
“yeah. yeah, it has, i guess,” you laughed lightly. you reached the intersection with the never-ending blinking stoplight and you turned around to face him.
“but i guess i’ll see you tomorrow, right?”
“yeah. yeah!”
“okay, get some sleep. goodnight.”
he nodded and you grinned at him before turning around to walk the rest of the way home until his voice stopped you again.
“hey, y/n?”
“yeah, kou?”
he looked down and all around, anywhere but your face.
“i, um, i know things have been kinda weird between for a while but it’s made me realize that i missed you, a lot.”
“yeah, i missed you, too.”
“but it’s also made me realize that i enjoy spending time with you and talking to you. like, even now, just talking to you makes me feel-- i don’t know. it makes me feel at ease like i’m home. and i’d really like to spend more time with you because i, um, i really like you.”
“you, you what?”
“i really like you, sugar.”
in all the ways you had imagined this happening, you never thought that you would feel your face fall to a frown, your heart beating in your ears. something just didn’t sit right with you about it.
“i, i, i don’t know what to say...”
“it’s okay if you don’t! i just wanted to tell you.”
“but why are you telling me this now?”
“do you-- do you not feel the same?”
“no. no! i’ve been wanting to hear you say something like that for so long, it’s just. you broke up with rei not too long ago and-- i don’t know. something isn’t right about it.” you shook your head, unsure of what you were trying to say.
“it’s how i feel,” he shrugged. “i just wanted to tell you and have a good feeling to hold onto to make tomorrow a little easier.”
you looked at him in disbelief.
“oh, so you think you can confess all that to me right before this big game and that i’ll automatically reciprocate those feelings when you just broke up with someone not even a month ago? i’m not a second choice--”
“no, sugar, listen, that’s not how i meant it at all--”
“no sugawara.” those words made him go quiet instantly. you never used his full name, there was always some sort of play on it, so this was serious. 
“maybe that’s not how you meant it, but that’s how i’m taking it. i’ve been wanting to tell you for so long how i felt but i wanted to respect your feelings so i didn’t. so please, respect mine. i’m not the good luck charm that you can just confess to and expect that it’ll all be okay. this just isn’t right. i’m sorry, koshi. 
your voice broke as his name left your lips, tears beginning to fall. you didn’t even give him a chance to respond, a rush of adrenaline telling you to quickly turn and get out of there. 
-
you didn’t get much sleep that night. 
it was hard not to think about your conflicted feelings over suga’s confession. you had hoped for that moment for a long time but the timing simply wasn’t right. how funny and ironic is that? you thought your timing was off. maybe you were meant for each other in that way. you couldn’t help but let your feelings get the best of you and you were beginning to become what you feared most from him. you thought he would immediately reject you and make you feel bad about ever saying anything about how you felt. but the roles are reversed and that was the part that blindsided you the most. 
you didn’t think that how you reacted was wrong but you also couldn’t imagine how he was feeling right now. he just wanted to feel good right before a big game but that backfired right in his face. some might call it karma, but part of you thought he didn’t deserve it. 
the pressure was setting in as the game went into the fifth and final set. what made it worse was kageyama wouldn’t be starting that set, his nose bleeding from the spike he took to the face. suga was genuinely thrilled to be a teacher, a mentor, and a support system for his fellow teammates. he didn’t mind that another, rather talented, setter had joined the team because that meant he wouldn’t have to worry about passing the position over to someone who he thought didn’t deserve it. 
he almost forgot he was actually a player on the team when everyone looked to him to fill in. this was his moment and it just happened to be at the most overwhelming part of this game. Both teams were tired while simultaneously running on pure adrenaline to see who was going to come out on top. 
suga had an opportunity, not only to start the set but be the trailblazer for their success. 
the nerves set in as he held up the paddle with the number nine on it, kageyama holding it up with him for a moment. It was symbolic in a way. suga always thought he’d be passing the baton to him, his successor as karasuno’s official setter, but this felt just as sentimental. Suga hadn’t played much this season but he got to watch the team grow into something that it once was: something great. They’ve had their share of loss and strife but it finally seemed like they had come so far and the only direction they can go is up. 
the nerves set in as he looked around, anywhere to ease them. His eyes automatically went to the team banner, black with the simple word ‘fly’ written over it, where all the school and their supporters were watching. he went down the line quickly but the wave of a hand caught his eye. his eyes shifted back and felt that familiar grin on him.
it was you. 
“c’mon suga! You can do it!”
and so he did. 
once the final ball hit the ground, the room was quiet with shock. it had been tight for most of the game but no one really expected this outcome. they were going to nationals. daichi, suga, and asahi embraced, taking in the satisfying feeling of victory. 
after the awards ceremony, you were buzzing with excitement for them, trying to calmly follow the rest of the crowd out of the gym. you could tell they were somewhere along the hallway as another crowd formed to congratulate the winning team. you weaved in and out of it, even getting on your toes to see if you could spot a familiar head of gray hair. 
you finally caught a glance at him from afar, his smile growing as his eyes locked onto yours.
“y/n!”
you mimicked his expression and found your feet moving quicker than your brain could process. he put in the same amount of haste to meet you in the middle. you both stopped at about an arm’s length away from each other. his flushed cheeks and slightly red but glistening eyes held your smile as you decided to speak first. 
“hey, kou.”
“hey, sugar.”
another minute couldn’t be wasted as you finally crashed into one another. it felt better to hold somebody that you knew and genuinely loved. you could be sure that he felt the same way as he held your body tightly against him. 
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heyo haikyuu night! send any requests right here..
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firelxdykatara · 3 years
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not gonna lie I would love to hear more about the drama and infighting that went on in The Vampire Diaries fandom if you have the time (and also want to use that time to give your experience with the fandom, which from the snippets you've told sounds Not Fun so I get it if you don't want to lol)
oh god, there was like, SO MUCH, i just
i really feel like tvd is one of those fandoms that is so hard to describe without a lot of ‘you’d have to have been there’, but it really felt like this huge and all-consuming beast for about five years until the show finally imploded and the fandom basically turned on it en masse. (you ever see that post going around that’s like ‘if you ever want to know what true regret feels like, ask someone who once called tvd their favorite show’? still a mood, all these years later. basically the entire fandom thought the show should have just bowed out with whatever shreds of dignity it had left at the end of season 6, and became more of a hatedom than a fandom for the last two seasons. when you have an entire fandom cheering news of your show’s cancellation, i think that’s a sign you done fucked up, julie.)
first and most infamous, of course, are the ship wars. which are pretty much inevitable in any teen-centered drama, and i really think the CW fucking thrives on them, but it was particularly egregious in TVD’s case because not only was the base premise of the show a love triangle, but the two main romantic leads were brothers that the show constantly pit against one another--in pursuit of elena’s affections, but also because it kept up this insistence on the ‘good brother/bad brother’ dichotomy which stopped making sense after about season 2 (by which time we have found out that the good brother was never as good as he appeared, and the bad brother has been growing and isn’t nearly as bad as he pretends to be)--and the question of which brother ‘deserved’ elena (and no, what elena wanted very rarely factored into these discussions, especially in the team stefan camp because they turned on her when what she wanted was no longer The Good Brother, but i’ll get to that in a bit) was hotly contested.
i’m not kidding when i say the shipping wars were vicious. i started watching tvd shortly after it began to air, which was late 2009, and kept up with it fairly sporadically over the years. i didn’t come onto tumblr until 2011/2012, and by then, the fandom was already pretty much a garbagefire. there were anti ship and anti character blogs, any time something bad happened for one ship the rival ship would invade the tags to gloat about it (seasons 3 and 4 were especially rough, and i’m not gonna pretend delena fans weren’t just as bad about tag invasion and shit, but as that was my side of the road i saw a lot more of the stelena shippers being assholes, which soured my opinion on the ship a long time before i started rewatching and realized the red flags were there from the start), confessions blogs were popular also toxic as fuck (so much fighting happened in the notes of those posts, good gods), and this was right around when twitter’s popularity was on the rise and the line between Celebrity and Fan was thinning, so the fandom was absolutely atrocious to much of the tvd cast and crew.
(some of them deserved a lot of the later backlash, but in the early years a lot of it was ‘how dare you write the story in a way i dont like, you terrible fucking person’, and gods don’t get me started on the dobsley vs nian Thing)
i think what really encapsulates my feelings on the tvd fandom as a whole, though, is the way they (to this DAY) treated elena gilbert, which can be summed up in one meme that gained a lot of traction around season 3 if i remember right: that gif of pam from true blood, with the text altered to read “i’m so OVER elena and her precious doppelganger vagina!”
i swear at one time i had over half the active tvd fan accounts on tumblr blocked, because i got to a point where i would no longer tolerate elena hate, and she was (and still is, in what remains of the fandom; you’ll see a lot of ‘elena was one of the worst things about the show’ takes from ex-fans, too) one of the most widely despised characters in the entire fandom. because she -checks smudged writing on hand- was a traumatized teenage girl who -reads off a crumpled notecard- couldn’t always perfectly sort out her own feelings and -squints at the ceiling- sometimes made mistakes or bad decisions. (except a lot of the fandom also insisted that she was a mary sue who had no character traits or flaws or faults and it was like....make up your fucking minds???? is she a calculating conniving bitch whose somehow manipulating these centuries old vampires to tie them around her little finger or is she a boring flat character with no depth and no flaws??? jfc)
there was this massive double standard, too--like, stefan and damon could fuck whoever they wanted and that was fine, but elena was constantly raked over the coals for the crime of developing romantic feelings for the two men who had become constants in her life and whom she cared for deeply, and oh my GOD the slut shaming that happened when elena slept with damon was fucking wild. (and also happened in canon lmfao. like the show had one of elena’s best friends basically call her diseased on screen for falling in love with someone other than stefan. it was gross and ridiculous and the friend in question was also being a giant hypocrite at the time since she was happily flirting with someone who was directly responsible for the deaths of like four of elena’s loved ones and her own boyfriend’s mother but that’s beside the point) but like elena was called a slut and a bitch and a whore for ‘cheating’ on stefan (she hadn’t, and she had in fact broken up with him on screen the episode earlier) and ‘immediately’ jumping into bed with damon, even though none of them said fucking boo when stefan had one night stands or damon had fuckbuddies or whatever.
shit, caroline didn’t get any of this treatment when she started falling for tyler while dating matt! which isn’t to say i think she should have, just that i think it’s fucking ridiculous that elena was absolutely demonized by the fandom for daring to have feelings for two guys at once and eventually acting on them--despite the fact that the entire premise of the show was a love triangle. it’s not a love triangle if both sides don’t eventually get explored, and the crew had been pretty explicit about the fact that delena was going to happen at some point--but when it did, a huge chunk of the fandom absolutely threw a fit.
and a lot of these elena haters were alleged stelena stans, and i say alleged because they hated her so much for not wanting stefan’s dick anymore that it was clear they were really stefan stans and only wanted stelena to be endgame because they wanted stefan to ‘win’ at the end of the day, because ‘he’s the good brother’ so he deserved elena more.
it was all very gross and very misogynistic and very sex shaming (apparently delena was a ‘shallow’ and ‘superficial’ relationship because they had sex after two years of unrequited feelings slowly becoming requited and then pining for ages on both sides, and because they had a lot of on screen chemistry that the show capitalized on for years so of course they did a lot of making out and shit but it’s not like stelena didn’t have its fair share of making out and sex scenes, stefan was just too much of a coward to let elena top i’d apologize for that joke but i’m really not sorry because it’s true), and when i say it was egged on by the crew, that’s because they refused to let the love triangle die back in season 4 when it should have.
they insisted on stringing stelena fans along, dropping little bread crumbs to keep them invested, like dreams of a future where they were married and revealing that stefan was also a doppelganger and he and elena were descended from a pair of star-crossed lovers (a plot that ultimately went nowhere, to no one’s great surprise), and then fucking like. julie plec turned around and threw nina under the bus after she chose not to extend her contract and pretended that stelena might have happened again if she hadn’t left the show, which....i mean frankly i wouldn’t put it past her, but it would have been shitty writing. then again, she thought having a vampire pregnancy where a uterus was magically transplanted from a witch into a vampire that could somehow......carry the babies to term.... made sense and was a good way to accomodate candice’s RL pregnancy rather than like literally ANYTHING else, soooooo. but anyway julie saying that around like, end of s6 sparked off a new wave of nina hate and elena hate and ship wars bc they SEers took it as ‘confirmation’ that stelena was REALLY meant to be endgame and it was all just a hot fucking mess
another thing is that, while tvd was in its prime before the anti/purity culture shit started picking up any real steam, there was still this pervasive attitude throughout the fandom that if you liked Damon, you were A Bad Person. liking damon was apparently grounds for insults and harassment, and apparently he was The Worst Person on the Show even though literally nothing he does on screen is any worse than shit we know stefan has done (and frankly every other vampire too, but i mention stefan specifically because he was always held up--in the show but especially in the fandom--as the Good Brother while damon was the Bad One, and if you liked damon more then that had to mean your morals were dodgy and you clearly couldn’t appreciate what a heroic and saintly figure dear stefan was and....oops, i’m sorry, my salt keeps leaking -cough-).
meanwhile klaus quickly became a fandom darling despite not even really having much of a redemption arc (on tvd anyway, he just became more ‘affably evil’ as the show went on and more inclined to work with the main characters rather than try to kill them; i have no idea what went on over on his show, though), and like i can 100% appreciate liking villains and not caring that they do dodgy villainous shit, even just liking them bc they’re hot and wanting them to kiss a main character bc they have insanely good chemistry (yes i ship klaroline, no i won’t apologize for it, they could have been Really Great), it’s just really the double standard that gets me.
and all of this, incidentally, required ignoring some truly gross shit stefan was responsible for wrt his relationship with elena, that frankly it has always bothered me never really got addressed in the show. i get why elena herself would never be able to actually call him on it, but the fact is that he stalked her for months after he first saw her and thought she was katherine (meanwhile it only took damon .5 seconds to realize she was someone else entirely, but that’s another topic entirely), and then he deliberately inserted himself into her life because, in his words, ‘i have to know her’. he never gave a thought to how his presence in her life might affect her (or rather, he did, and tormented himself about it in his internal monologue, but never let this actually dissuade him from disrupting her life), and elena would wind up blaming herself for every tragedy that befell her friends and loved ones as a result of getting mixed up in vampire bullshit even though none of it was her fault--she literally blamed herself for existing but most of the fandom didn’t give a fuck about that lmfao--and stefan did shit like find out that she was adopted and then withhold this information from her until she got pissed about another secret he was keeping (her resemblence to katherine) and drop it on her to try and distract her from her very reasonable anger, and like... i should stop before this becomes a whole rant about how much i hate stefan fucking salvatore, but the point is, he did a lot of really sketchy shit he never answered for and elena never really took him to task for, and the fandom just kept eating up his insistence that he was the Good Brother and therefore he deserved to have elena, and if she didn’t want him anymore it was because she was a heinous bitch who didn’t deserve him.
uh.....i think i got off track there. and there’s probably a lot of shit i missed, like i think i was incandescent with rage for most of seasons 5 and 6 so i missed a lot of the interfandom shit cause i was too busy being increasingly pissed off at the show itself, but if nothing else this should give you an idea of how much of a goddamn cesspit the fandom was while the show as in its prime. there’s a reason both the show and the fandom have such a lousy reputation lmfao.
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beetleboo · 3 years
Text
long post. one i’ve been trying to make for a while now. hell, i wrote this like... third week of may. didn’t post it until now because i didn’t know if I wanted to.
but something i want to lay out, been wanting to lay out for months. dont want to talk to anyone about it, just want to put the info out there for it to be seen.
if you re/blog this i will block you. i may put this on the relevant sideblog at some point.
because 2020 was the worst year on record for me for a number of reasons, and it’s torn me down to the lowest point i’ve been in a long time, and this is just. everything that’s gone down. not a callout post, no one gets named, but these are all the events
partially in relation to my fandom sideblog, because that’s where i had community, and where it’s all just. gone. doesnt exist anymore.
i started up a server, ages ago now. somewhere i curated to be a positive and safe space for things, and for a while, it was that.
around the end of 2019, spilling over to the start of 2020 when it picked up, i found, both on my blog and in discord spaces, in particular the server i ran, that people no longer talked to me. no one would hold a conversation with me past a few basic responses, no one replied to anything i shared, no one engaged when i tried to start discussions. so i pulled back from the main server - S1. thought it was just a lull in activity. stayed that way for weeks, months, and I just muted the server. no one ever cared about anything i had to say. was lucky if anything i posted got even a token emoji react
was in another, smaller server - S2. people i talked to damn near every day, even in voice. played games together - that became... no fun simply because everyone else was so much better/further ahead in the game. i was completely useless, so didn’t server a function in game and never really felt like anyone actively wanted me around, but i still participated in chat.
but again, no one ever responded to anything I posted beyond maybe a token react
couple people discussing something one day. I contributed with Theory A, and quite immediately got that shut down. few minutes later, they rephrased exactly what I said and happily nattered away. so whatever I said wasn’t worth it when it came out of my mouth but if they talked about it, it was all well and valid. so again, between that specific experience and no one interacting with me, nor anything I post. server muted. treatment taught me no one cared about my presence there.
gave admin rights to S1, my server, to someone I trusted. two requests only: dont delete channels and let me know if you want to invite anyone (since I kept it private)
RYE (i’m just assigning random three letter names to people to keep this straight) posted public invites several times. never asked me. one of the two things i asked. brought it up with them that it bothered me, just got vague noncomittal responses. more public invites. eventually, after having the server muted for months, i handed over full control and left. that was almost a full year ago. none of the people have talked to me in that entire year, through discord or here or anything.
except RYE who sent me a message after a couple months like ‘wow i havent heard from you in a while hope you’re doing ok’. i wasn’t. after a bit but still the same day, i said as much. that i wasn’t doing well. they never responded. and i don’t mean like, they didn’t respond that day. i mean i literally never heard from them until months later when they sent me a meme and also didn’t respond to me commenting on that meme.
and this is one side of things. all of the above was the first half of the year. this next bit happened about. march2020? I was in another server - S3. another place that was a good space at the time. was in voice chat with two other people. started talking about one thing. MIN very suddenly said something along the lines of ‘i don’t care about this i’ll come back when you’re done’
this is one of the very few things that can trigger me - i’ve had a lot of people talk down to me if I dare look excited about anything. when they came back, i asked if they could try to just. depart conversations more softly. MIN always said ‘if i do anything hurtful to you just tell me! i dont want to do that kind of thing!’
this was clearly a lie as they exploded on me, telling me they always have to walk on eggshells around me, that I ask so many things from them. before what I asked them that day, I can only recall one other thing i asked (which was not to talk about a person who was abusive towards me, and they were like ‘yea sure np’ about that, over a year prior’)
the whole thing turned into basically me having to shut down the fact that i was hurt by what they did, had to ignore that now and i had to fawn and placate them and the only thing i got out of that was that my feelings were irrelevant, only theirs.
(incidentally, I have had two other people turn on me in similar ways, accusing me of doing shifty/bad/terrible things, and not being willing to tell me what they are when I ask, only saying that ‘i should know what i did’ so that’s also now a Fun New Bit Of Trauma.)
and that entire weeklong event lead me straight to a breakdown. literal genuine breakdown i cannot convey how devastating that entire scenario was without going into far too many details.
so between all of these things happening in less than six months, with three different community spaces folding and collapsing and fading away from me, with many of the friends i thought i had just. moving on to other things and dropping me. people i talked to every day just not bothering with me anymore. they all have gone on to other stuff and no one ever went ‘hey beets wanna see what i’m up to’ or ‘wanna do this thing with me’
a handful of instances of me saying ‘yeah i’m dealing with these fears that have been reinforced lately that people aren’t safe to deal with, even thought part of me knows they’re probably irrational it feels like i have evidence to back it up’ and people immediately take it personally like i’m saying they’re not safe. despite. me outright saying. i know logically it should be irrational. but their reactions just reinforce it so it’s just a loop and tells me, again, never to bring up any of my problems with anyone.
so this all just reinforces that there’s something wrong with me. couple years back i spoke to a friend and how i was frustrated that I seemed to end up in bad spaces and they said ‘well you’re the one thing in common so its probably your fault’ and obviously they’re not my friend anymore but that has affected me so deeply. i can’t do anything without overthinking, whenever anything goes wrong i tear apart everything i’ve done and everything i’ve said or thought and i don’t know why things keep going bad. i try so hard but i’m just. not right.
so it all teaches me that there’s no point in reaching out in trying to talk to people because if i say ‘hey this hurt me’ i get ignored at best or torn down, yelled at, scolded. no point in trying to talk to new people because everyone just walks away at some point. not even a natural drift apart, i can handle that. but just very suddenly, they’re gone, off with better people doing better things.
roundabout, ties back to ‘consumption versus community’ - this is why i’ve been struggling so hard with lack of engagement on my sideblog. lucky to get a dozen notes on anything i make, unless it’s something other people can use (like mods) and even THEN it’s rare to see much activity. and that was FINE because i had people to talk to elsewhere, who would ask questions and we could back and forth and i shared my stuff and they shared those and it didnt matter if my posts only got a dozen notes because i had friends to talk to.
now i get (example) seven notes, six of which are likes and one is a reblog with no commentary. when i have something with a ton of notes, still, minimal commentary, no one talks to me. even on a mod with five hundred notes it just feels like i went ‘hey i made something :)’ and everyone picked it up and walked away with it, no one went ‘hey this is cool i want to talk to the person who made it.’
and it just feels like 95% of the time, i’m just overlooked. 
and it’s worse than it’s ever been in my entire life, and I wonder, what’s the point of any of this anymore.
why bother to make the posts to share when it all just gets passed by. what’s the point in trying to reach out to new people and make friends when i get lashed out at or left behind? the social is gone out of my social media. i had community, and now it’s gone.
so this has all been going on for months and months and months and hey! suffering. and i dont expect it to get any better, don’t expect this post to fix these issues, but i’ve been trying to say something about all of this for fucking months and i think just, laying it all out is all I can do about it. i’m sure i’ve forgotten some things to touch on but as it is, all these events, all of it happening all together. new traumas, old traumas reawoken, reinforced, i’ve been torn to pieces i don’t know how to function, i can’t remember the last time i felt like even half a real person. taught that the safe, positive spaces that meant so much to me don’t actually exist and they’ll all turn on me and be torn away. nowhere is safe anymore, and trying to make it safe is just going to ruin me again.
people aren’t safe, places aren’t safe, been proven to me time and time again so i just. stay away.
no matter how much i try to fight that, it just doesnt work.
anyway tl;dr beets needs therapy probably
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rickriordanfandam · 3 years
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opinions on riordanverse ; my edition
a lot of people have been doing this so i decided why not right. probably gna lose some followers or smth but anyways. pls respect my opinions! if u disagree, thats fine, but please be polite. unless any of my opinions strikes u as morally wrong then pls point it out to me respectfully. thanks!
- i actually liked drew. im so sorry to everyone who hates her but full offence, why. think about it this way ok, first of all drew became hc because silena died. silena was the traitor, the one who betrayed chb, yet after she died campers celebrated her as a hero? and then drew suddenly has to replace her and live up to idk that legacy she left behind,, when all of a sudden this girl named piper swoops in and takes her place. idk abt u but i wld be salty abt that too. not only that, but as an asian, the chances of drew having faced racism/bullying as a child is pretty high (she studies at brooklyn academy). which means that when she finds out shes a demigod, and arrives at chb where most of the campers are white (this is an assumption btw), she’d obviously be scared of being bullied for her skin color right?? so the first thing she wld do before the campers get to bully her is to bully them before they can do so. (sentence structure here is wack i apologize) ofc this might not even have happened, drew could have had a perfect childhood && was a b1tch for no reason, BUT EVEN THEN HER ROLE AS A BULLY WAS PRETTY VITAL BECAUSE THAT FURTHER SHOWED THE CONTRAST BETWEEN HER AND PIPER,, HIGHLIGHTING PIPER AS A HERO//GOOD CHARACTER,, AND THEREFORE MAKING READERS LIKE PIPER MORE. anyway stop hating on drew please. ALSO WHY IS THIS SO LONGA SDFJHG
- jason isnt bland, the fandom just kinda erased his backstory (thanks to @pjohoo-memes for the phrasing lol)
- reynabeth wouldnt have lasted/would have broken up several times. idk i just see them as two extremely powerful characters who have firm opinions and will definitely clash at some point. in a platonic relationship,, i can see them as really good friends but as lovers? idk i just think theyll break up
- PIPABETH
- i dont really like jercy,, i see them as better friends than lovers. also idt jason and percy were that close..?
- the dam and not my type jokes are srsly cringey and were never funny. ik that seems hypocritical since my username literally makes use of the dam joke but honestly i dont actually like the joke. its not funny to me and has never been funny
- the seven were not best friends. they definitely argued,, and honestly probably werent as close as the fandom makes them seem. like ure dumped with 6 other people, out of which u only know a few. my introverted ass would have jumped off the argo 2 quicker than leo valdez could bomb camp jupiter up. also leo was a dick to frank. so what if frank is bigger sized?? thats not a valid reason to tease him
- the fandom needs to stop hating on octavian while worshipping luke. if u hate luke and u say u hate octavian too, then okay. but if u tell me ure a luke stan but u despise octavian?? imma disagree w u. luke was worse than octavian im sorry. first of all, octavian being a dick was kinda justified. hes been after the praetor position for so long, and everyone keeps saying to “wait for jason” when suddenly this dude, whos a son of NEPTUNE (neptune wasnt liked much by romans), and the camp decides to make him praetor?? dude i would be pissed off big time. and then afterwards, he finds out that greek demigods are real and the dude they made praetor is greek. AND THEN GREEK DEMIGODS COME TO CJ AND ONE OF THEM BOMB IT UP?? octavian has been told all his life that greeks are scum and this dude called leo valdez attacks cj. sure it was an accident, but did octavian know that? no. so it was honestly justified that he was such a salty prick im just saying. also some of yall be hating on octavian for cutting a teddy bear open and thats the funniest shit ive ever heard i swear 
- luke didnt go to elysium
- travis and connor stoll r way too underrated. the two have been head counselors of the hermes cabin since luke was revealed as a traitor, can u imagine the stress? luke, the person they probably looked up to as a brother, betrayed them. and they didnt even have time to process this when they were  thrown the roles of being hcs. that would have been so stressful and i would probably have broken down if i were them. the stoll brothers taking turns to wake up at ungodly hours because a new camper is crying and homesick and terrified, the stoll brothers having to comfort and take care of new campers, having to deal with the amount of people in that cramped space because not enough campers are being claimed fast enough. having to resolve issues between campers in the hermes cabin all the time. the stolls arent just comedic relief, and we need to stop treating them as such
- tratie shldve been canon idc idc
- demigods of the demeter cabin arent talked about enough and i love the fact that meg was demeters kid. like she isnt the child of one of the big three yet shes so powerful.
- we need to hype clarisse up more her character arc was phucking amazing 
- rachel is overhated. sis found out greek gods exist and regularly come down to earth to fuck around and went “ok cool”. queen shit behavior methinks
- the floor 19 crew of mcga is srsly underrated. like do u even remember halfborn gunderson, mallory keen, tj, etc??? bc i feel like we only remember samirah, magnus, alex, and sometimes blitz and hearthstone
- sadie (tkc) was kinda annoying at first. i like her more now tho but i rmb not liking her for a phat while
- tkc and mcga need more love
- carter kane and jason grace arent boring. theyre just really sweet boys who are too good for this world and yes yes yes 
- hazel and frank (especially frank) need to be hyped up more. i hardly ever see anything about them. also yall seem to forget that frank was literally made praetor and that even hecate admired hazel and was willing to fight beside her because of how powerful she was
- frazels age gap is kinda sketch but i still think theyre really cute
- nico definitely had trauma from going to tartarus on his own
- GROVER IS PERCYS BEST FRIEND
- annabeth isnt smarter than leo but neither is leo smarter than annabeth. ive seen a lot of discussions about who is smarter and heres my hot take on it: neither. theyre equally smart, just in different ways. leos a genius mathematically speaking. he has no issues solving math problems meant for people much, much older than him. annabeth on the otherhand, is great at strategies etc. she can make an army of 1000 more powerful than the enemy, even if theyre outnumbered. so in my opinion, both are equally as smart//u cant compare their intelligence, because their talents lie in two different areas.
- while i do agree rick riordan isnt a god and that hes bound to make mistakes,, AND that hes given us a lot of representation,, if the representation offends the people its sposed to represent, then theres a problem. im talking about piper as a poc and wearing feathers in her hair. im not a poc, so i cant speak for them on whether or not its wrong, because i dont know either. HOWEVER, i have seen multiple posts BY pocs talking about how they didnt really like rick’s representation of piper, and thats an issue. pocs have been and are still oppressed and discriminated against by many. as a white cis man, we cant really blame him for not knowing (tho he could have done a research,, asked some pocs,, idk), but by representing pocs in that manner, hes influencing impressionable kids/teens into thinking “oh pocs wear feathers in their hair all the time” etc, which isnt true. the pjo/hoo series is extremely successful, and kids who read the books will probably start forming inaccurate opinions on pocs. the amount of fan art that depicts piper with feathers in her hair dont help either. “but rick said so in the books, so its canon” yeah well rick isnt a god and he can get some things wrong at times. im not saying we should cancel him, im saying we should start educating ourselves and not spread false info like pocs wearing feathers in their hair all the time. also that snake song shit where she sang Summertime was just- yeah. bc heres the thing you can be racist, and still include minorities, but portray them in a racist way. And even then, ignorance isn't a thing to admire. Getting those facts wrong still has a major impact. It continues to perpetuate racist stereotypes.
“ With the feather thing, I looked it up myself; it takes less than five minutes to figure out that Cherokees don't braid feathers into their hair. I didn't grow up in the country where my parents are from. I have many other first/second generation American friends who have also been through that, with a bit of a disconnect from their culture. But something that most of us have in common is that when we didn't know something, and when our parents weren't that big of a help, we looked it up. We sought out resources online and through other people from our culture to be able to connect more with where we came from. Some of that took a Google search. So I find it hard to believe that Piper, a girl who Rick's trying to portray as someone who is attempting to connect with her culture and is totally against racist stereotypes, wouldn't know that eagle feathers aren't supposed to be braided into your hair casually. She may be disconnected from her culture, but she's also shown to want to connect back to it. Piper wouldn't be casually braiding feathers into her hair while also telling off people for being racist. It makes no sense.” - reddit thread (down below) 
for those of yall who wanna know more please please read this, it has a lot of things i wanna add in here : https://www.reddit.com/r/camphalfblood/comments/gy3gl2/piper_mcleans_portrayal_is_innacurate/ 
as well as https://finding-my-culture.tumblr.com/post/189422373260/maxie-ratties-and-cattie-finding-my-culture 
i will be posting screenshots of these in future posts so if ure viewing this on ig and u dont have tumblr,, dont worry 
- the fact that most of the strong female characters in the series refuse to be “girly”, and ngl i dont really like that. just because ure girly doesnt mean u cant be strong. 
- piper would have been a great way for him to start making the strong characters act girlier, but instead he went with the “I’m not like other girls” trope which is quite obnoxious to hear constantly, and I don’t think it’s necessarily great for younger girls to read that idea growing up.  the closest we've ever had to a strong female character who was also into "girly" things was Silena. when I was younger I admired Piper's "I'm not like other girls" thing, but then I got older and realized that the whole mentality of "not like other girls" is super obnoxious, and a little bit toxic
i have a heck load more that i cant rmb rn but yeah feel free to add more 
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amphii-writes · 3 years
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Random Haikyuu Head Canons I Have
these are all taken from my discord server cause i remember to write them there, if you want to request fanfics, my requests are W I D E open! there is also nO order! these are just all the headcanons i could find tbh
warnings: mentions of blood, and just overall wild times, swearing
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Asahi loves knitting sweaters because his shoulders are broad and he also loves seeing the reactions from his teammates when they get a sweater from him! He says he buys them but he doesn’t
Aone likes knitting socks because he has big feet and he loves fluffy knee high socks but his team will never know
Asahi and Aone regularly hang out and knit together! (after asahi wasnt scared of him anyways)
Nishinoya gives you shiny rocks he finds because “your eyes shine like them!”
Yamaguchi likes to have your head rest on his chest while cuddling!
Aone likes to bake
Aone dressed like a polar bear because koganegawa told him to- halloween was amazing
daICHI HAS A KISS THE COOK APRON
Daichi secretly can make some kick ass steak and is amazing at grilling sorry
Okay but real talk, Kenma and Yaku swear like sailors and it scares everyone because they always whisper the most foul, insulting things under their breath. Hearing it is like seeing a cryptid
Speaking of cryptids, Fukunaga and Shibayama are THE most true crime, mythology, and mystery obsessed fanatics on the team and often fanboy about it together 
Fukunaga’s obsession with moth man has gotten to an unhealthy stage
Kenma absolutely had a vampire phase and has read twilight. Only Kuroo knows and has sworn to secrecy via blood pact
Kuroo’s a musical nerd. Knows all of the lyrics to Hamilton, BMC, DEH, Heathers, Rent, Beetlejuice, Etc. Kenma considered dropping him because of it
Iwaizumi tells the worst dad jokes and Kyotani, wanting to beat him, started doing it too and it drives everyone insane
Yahaba and Matsukawa get along surprisingly well. Both are true crime freaks and bond over their forensic files obsessions
Matsukawa didn’t really like his thick eyebrows so he got one of his female friends to pluck it for him, but almost cried and gave up after the first hair. Oikawa called him a pussy for the next year
Hanamaki jokingly flirts with everyone on the team so most of them just got used to it, but it still confuses Kindaichi to the point of mental breakdown
Makki called Kyotani ‘puppy’ as a joke once and now mad dog is truly terrified of him
Kyotani’s dog absolutely ADORES Oikawa and it’s the funniest shit to the rest of the team
Mattsun and Makki play DnD and once convinced Yahaba and Kyotani to join. Kyotani kept rolling to fight everyone and Yahaba was a bard that kept rolling to seduce everyone. They kept yelling across the board so they had to kick them out
Outside of his school uniform, Goshiki specifically wears only plaid
Tendou makes little chocolates for the whole team every once in a while so they don’t think he’s scary
Semi and Shirabu once had a fistfight in an abandoned McDonald’s parking lot while Tendou filmed and Goshiki cheered them on
Everybody makes fun of Shirabu’s haircut but nobody dares to say it to his face. its gotten to the point where they say he got it done by a blind old lady
There’s a running joke about Shirabu also getting his haircut from prison but Goshiki is starting to suspect that it may not be a joke
Yamagata and Tendou are good friends with the mutual goal of collecting as much blackmail on their team as possible
Tendou loves animals generally considered to be ‘ugly’ like rats, crows, reptiles, etc.
80% of Goshiki’s playlist is shit overplayed on the radio. Him, Shirabu, Tendou, Kawanishi and Ushijima have a permanent ban from the aux cord
Nobody watches YouTube with Ushijima because he never skips the damn ads (other than tendou)
Suna once said y’all’dn’t’ve unironically and made a first year cry
Akagi once said UwU unironically and had an identity crisis.
Osamu has one of those rainbow gaming keyboards and is constantly on a discord call. Atsumu always yells weird shit in the background to embarrass him and once pretended to be him
During Seijoh group chat arguments. Hanamaki and Mattsukawa like to drop facebook minion memes in just to piss everyone off even more
mattsun and maki both have separate photo albums in their phones labelled ‘minion memes to piss everyone off’
Hinata carries a pocket knife and no one has no fucking idea why
mattsun and maki both have matching rat fursuits that look like they actually where in a sewer- they chased oikawa around
For all his talk of plant analogies and metaphors, Ushijima cant grow shit
Goshiki’s Bangs are the way they are because his favorite character was Rock Lee from Naruto
Oikawa has watched Ouran High School Host Club front to back so many times and he can quote all of Tamaki’s lines by heart -He keeps bothering Iwaizumi to “be his Haruhi, since you’re shorter than me”
Koganegawa has definitely gone as an Angry Bird for Halloween
Fukunaga has those reflective cat eyes, and he has terrified Yamamoto on several occasion
Hanamaki and Matsukawa have a teddy bear that they pretend is their child and they share custody
Suga always sprays whipped cream straight into his mouth whenever he sees a can
Nishinoya definitely bit people as a kid
Nishinoya would be the guy to wear shorts all year round and even if it's snowing, he'll insist he's not cold
Tendou is still stuck in his emo phase and would fangirl over Creepypasta with me and I appreciate that (me too buddy, me fuckin too)
Kyoutani LOOKS like he’d listen to viking death metal, but in reality he listens to Mother Mother and knows all the words to Ghosting
Sugawara would definitely encourage me to dumb shit and not stop me, and you’re all dumb for thinking he wouldn’t 
KENMA IS NOT ‘uwu owo’ SHY, HE IS ‘your fucking gross’ SHY SO LITERALLY STFU
Bokuto listens to Nicki Manaj. And knows all the words. To every. Single. Song.
Ushijima for some reason knows an odd amount of 90′s-2000′s R&B and he will hum along to the songs if they come on the radio (he also loves Dolly Parton) ((he says he relates to her music))
Bokuto once ate instant ramen for an entire month
TERUSHIMA DID TRY TO FUCK A PLANT WHILE SHITFACED AND GOD I STAND BY WHAT I SAID
atsumu let’s you put makeup on him and pretends to eat the brushes (do yk what im talking about- like n o m)
tendou ran for school president as a joke but actually won
i 100% believe that all of karasuno’s third years apologize when they bump into inanimate objects, but when suga is really tired or stressed out, he’ll yell at them instead.
Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Taketora have a group chat called "Bros who want sum hoes" and they send each other hypebeast memes and shit
Sugawara knows how to do a bunch of flexible shit because he sometimes goes to yoga with daichi and asahi's moms, its fucking hilarious
tanaka and noya both breakdance- they work as a team and sometimes go to tokyo for underground competitions- saeko drives them
Daichi knows a little ballet- nobody other than Kiyoko knows because they saw each other at the ballet class and had to work together- dont tell tanaka and noya that he lifted her though
Osamu once put glitter on Atsumu's pillow- he still finds hot pink glitter on shit
kita knits and crochets with his grandma
Kita's grandma knows everyone's names because kita talks shit bout them, her favorite is Aran
Kuroo has burnt his eyebrows off doing an experiment. His goggles didn't cover all his brows,,, so he just showed up to practice like that. No eyebrows and a chemical burn
kenma has played all kinds of games, but he was dared to play corpse party by kuroo. He wasn't scared because of the gore, he was thinking about the trauma the characters went through. Punched kuroo the next day because that game was fucked up
Lev isn't a strong swimmer, so he often grabs people by the head to keep himself up. happened with kenma and lev couldn't walk due to the force of kenmas suprised water kicks
akaashi has those fancy pens that you have to dip in ink and they're so nice
Bokuto has and will eat pencil erasers again
Daichi once almost lost his shit at his team but instead he lost his shit at the door that decided to stub his toe on the way out of the gym. not the best thing to be found yelling to.
Yamaguchi for sure has been dragged to one of terushimas parties because he didnt wanna say no. oh and terushima has like frat boy level parties too. Yams has for sure had some wild nights and doubts anyone other than Tsukishima and the party-goers will ever know
Akaashi can actually flirt very well! He reads romance novels sometimes and has analyzed any and every book in his possession! so he's actually quite charming
Daihsou unironically posted on twitter after mika broke up with him "I still see her shadows in my room"
Mattsun and Maki run a fake oikawa account; its been going ever since twitter even started getting popular and they even started sending messages in spanish. The posts would range from "I love all my fans!" to flirting with them :) Oikawa is pissed cause the account got verified before he did and most of his fans also follow the fake oikawa. Tooru has no idea who runs it JUST IMAGINE OIKAWA JUST LIKE RANTING TO THE SEIJOH 3RD YEAR ALUMNI AND JUST "no Iwa-chan, you dont understand! they run a fake account and pretend to be me!" while makki and mattsun laugh their asses off
Oh, kenma for sure has pretended to be a girl on discord and has gotten someone to buy him stuff. after they do he says in his normal voice "fucking simp" and then hangs up and blocks the other persons discord
Yamamoto, despite his rough appearance, loves kids and has and will be a human jungle gym
suna in middle school had a game with his friends about who could make kids cry the fastest
The twins switched places back in middle school and nobody could tell because of how great they are at acting like eachother
Daichi once arrested coach ukai for public intoxication after a game :|
Daichi has arrested many people from his old volleyball team but the most memorable case was when he arrested tanaka and noya for reckless driving. poor idiots got so scared when they saw their old captains face in their mirror and started to pray
tanaka, while trying to intimidate someone, once said "You dont gotta tell me twice, i may be straight but these hands are bisexual" and he often cringes at night thinking about it
Kageyama, as a comeback to Tsukishima, said "one thing about us royalty is that we love to feast" and he also fuckin hates what he said
the third years made a cult for Kiyoko. they chant every wednesday "i'll do anything for kiyoko, she makes me go loco"
oikawas fangirls are known to be fucking rabid
yAMAMOTO AND KENMA AFTER THEIR FIGHT WERE FORCED BY KUROO TO MAKE IT UP: so they dyed their hair together
Makki and mattsun sang two trucks in front of the entire team. everyone was so confused. Makki: "twO TRUCKS HAVIN SEX!!" Mattsun: "oH yEs!"THEY'D SWITCH OFF AND HAVE LIKE CHOREOGRAPHY TOO LIKE THEY'D DO A TANGO WHILE THE SONG IS LIKE "two beer trucks, making love"
tendou once called Oikawa "mr. no-nationals" and got kicked in the shins before iwaizumi could save him
Tsukishima had a my little pony phase
you work with matsukawa at a morgue and he makes dead people jokes while you fix some dead guys face with wax and makeup he'd be like "so didnt he like,,, stick his head out of the sunroof of a moving fuckin car??" he'd be singing dumb ways to die the entire day
i feel like Kuroo has one crazy accident a year. like it might not be deadly but its fucking crazy like for example: Kuroo for sure has ridden in a shopping cart at past midnight with kenma (who pushed him down a hill) causing Kuroo to get scratched up hella well. he lied and said he spent the night with a girl and kenma fucking hated himself cause he would be the girl if that was true
Mattsun has flirted with the 4th years moms before (AS A JOKE), and because of this: he is known as “fuckin milf hunter” sometimes by the team
Warning, this next headcanon is talking about cannabis, weed, mary jane, the zoink root. so if your uncomfortable, please dont read below :)
dude i wanna get high as SHIT with Asahi 
i think Asahi would be one of those mfkers who takes one hit and is gone 
ASAHI ACCIDENTALLY GOING TO PRACTICE ZOINKED 
IMAGINE HIM SEEING TSUKISHIMA AND JUST "he looks so judgemental,,, im scared" 
OR LIKE A MAD DAICHI AND JUST "i'm gonna,,, im gonna go jump out the window now" 
Noya and Tanaka would know tho, i feel like they'd have a 6th sense when it comes to weed. they probably get some from Saeko cause she'd rather they do it in the house. they'd smell asahi like fucking dogs and just so,,, big guy had fun without us huh? 
DAICHI WOULD KNOW ABOUT ASAHI BEING ZOINKED, SMASH HIS FACE INTO THE WALL, TURN AROUND WITH A RED MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD AND WITH A BEAMING SMILE AND FEUX ENTHUSIASM SAY: "YOSH, LETS WARM UP!"
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olde-scratch · 3 years
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So I watched LUCIDS 1-4 without any prior knowledge...
and here were my thoughts. I didn’t watch any backstory or anything so enjoy my suffering.
PART 1
“So what happens when the people inside of their dreams go to sleep?” They die
“What happens when we wake up? Do they go on living while we’re not there?” THEY DIE-
“Who are they anyway?” they’re faces that our brain catalogs and stores for later use, although it’s also arguable that every time we dream we go to an alternate reality and inhabit the body of another version of ourselves. Now, were you in a car accident and trapped underwater or-
Are they twins?
(Me tuning out to do something)
“-the squirrel in spongebob was your soulmate, making you a Sandy simp-”
Me, snapping back to the video: hold up-
[missed the part about the worksheet, realized it when i rewatched 10 mins later to make this post]
yall speakin gibberish idk what youre saying-
“I’m gonna go to bed.” bro it literally looks like morning-
“You should get some sleep you look terrible.” i get six hours of sleep a night minimum and i look worse than him shut up bro-
“jump into someone else’s dream” ah i know this con-
why they all got the same face-
haha funni meme
“--an interruptiion can create feedback and tear them apart.” Death. I long for thee.
Is that Karl Jacob’s jacket?
“a second grader” makes me think this is a different school system. [i was wrong? i think?]
“[get him to] eat your apple”
[in the dream sequence] weird dream, but ive had weirder. now, Why Pamper’s-
why does he suddenly have a knife-
“You put a filter on the Dreamscape feed?”
“Technically, you are seven years old.”
???????????
the second hand embarrassment is UGGGHHH
[reading the description] you mean like the guy who was knocked out for 2 minutes on a football field and woke to find he’d dreamt 17 years of his life? oh this shall be Fun
PART 2
[I check the description] “jasper cult” what the fu-
how many camp camp references can i make during this
Is the apple a reference to religion or does the creator just really ilke apples?
“meal.”
“meal?”
meal????
Wait why couldn’t that guy eat the apple? If he wanted it in the fruit bowl, wouldn’t there be a chance of the guy eating it anyways?? Why can’t the guy who brought the apple eat it?
well he’s Dead
[debating if I should read the backstory}
n a h h h h h -
Was he gonna feed the dead guy the apple or something? Why is he upset about the apple in this scene???
oooo the grownups are fightinnnngggg
Is he an antagonist?
HE WROTE A BOOK???
oh now i want food
ESTABLISH JUSTICE ENSURE DOMESTIC TRANQUILITYYYYYYYYYYYYY
“I watched all those aforementioned shows” what shows did i miss something what-
man why you gotta hate on her jane austen fanfic let her live bro
string theory! i can get behind that! sorta-
o no he found the memes-
BOY GOT KNOCKED OUT-
kim there’s people that are dying-
is SHE an antagonist?
quinn? calling himself jasper? u sure hes not just nonbinary? is this just a metaphor for transphobic parenting?
“He died... but somewhere, he grew up.” So is your plan to take a Quinn from a different universe and make him your own, thereby robbing another version of yourself from happiness? When does this ever go well?
Yknow most people, when they lose a kid,,,, kinda,,,,,,, dont go on a ceaseless quest to find another version of their kid that grew up without knowing that another version of his mother was invading other peoples’ dreams to find and kidnap him,,,,,,,, like aint u got a therapist-
“Once you get past the point of not knowing what’s real anymore, you realize it doesn’t matter.” Well, I Got Called Out-
PART 3
“you’re real, oliver.”
aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-
“you’ve been infected by the anti-love parasite of Mandadon” the amatonormativity is strong
so anyways ive been infected since birth hbu-
“James Jasperson, creator of Japple” did you mean to Fancy Well-Educated Man in a Black Turtleneck? cause the only FWEMBT i allow near me is prof. hidgens
“are you winning?” says the capitalist
why did you rewind to see his face?? you have the same face????? is this just bc the creator doesnt like working with other people cause in that case same but???????
“it’s a bad idea. i’m not gonna do it.” we’ve all been there. and we’ve all done it.
looks like me trying to study. (i say, a person who has studied a total of five minutes throughout their entire life.)
your “Spartan trial” looks like a bunch of guys standing on a hill pretending to be something they’re not. Let The Man Bring His Snacks.
eat the apple.
is this your first existential crisis or something what a loser lets all point and laugh
“One of you should be spared, the other shall’nt.” did you mean shant or was that a choice-
yall gonna get called out for talking shut UP
“sorry if this is too personal, btw. are you okay?”
me, confused and half understanding what’s going on and also needing to sleep cause its almost one in the morning but wanting to finish what i can find of lucids which i only starting watching cause i saw an animatic of ranboo and dream w audio from it: i don’t know anymore
“i just want my life back... i was gonna get married-” AREN’T YOU LIKE SEVEN-
ay man if this is a sacrificial cult yall gotta get daniel-
UPDATE: I  H A V E  N O T  F O U N D  I T -
“oliver”
I  F O U N D   I  T -
WHICH ONE IS QUINN?? WHO’S JASPER???? WHICH ONE IS BENJAMIN???? I THOUGH BENJAMIN WAS SEVEN BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED WHAT-
oliver. eat the apple.
“Can you still have memories even when you’re dreaming?” One time I woke up to my alarm and fell back asleep and in my dream I remembered that I had class in a few minutes and my dream self woke my real self up so fast I thought I was gonna get whiplash. Anyways, I was late to class bc of my computer but that doesn’t matter.
NOPE I FOUND IT. HERE’S THE AUDIO. THE ANIMATIC ONE. FINALLY.
im thinking car crash. but also maybe murder. but also maybe both? is it raining or was he drowning? is he in a coma? hmmmmmm?
wait olivers the one with the apple does that mean he’s the one dreaming? is the ending gonna be him and jasper (quinn? idk) fighting against ben and mrs hills about jasper eating the apple to save oliver from the dream? hmmmmmmmmmm-
waitwaitwait i thought oliver was 7 how is benjamin 7 years younger than him if they look the same age what what what explain america explain what you mean arkansaw-
are the cuts on his nose plot-relevant or
“What if you hadn’t been driving?” So I was right about the car accident but Mrs. Hills still said he was seven so did i mishear her say that BENJAMIN was seven? but even then oliver would be 14 and that would still be illegal-
“How are you feeling?”
“Like you’re a pretty bad therapist.”
mood
“--it makes it all bearable to have power over the stories we write in our heads” that’s why i write fanfiction
HE’S GOT THE NOTEBOOK HE’S GONNA WRITE SOMETHING ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US
WHAT YOU MEAN AN EXPERIMENT THAT’S HIS NAME-
[upon reading the description] so i was right.
wait was that supposed to be the twist in part 2 about the apple in his pocket is that what the existential crisis was about i thought it was because he was introduced to the multiple worlds theory-
PART 4
wait wasnt the other one january 2018 why we going back to 2017-
appol
“--the future and the past all already exist” mhm yep figured this out long ago
there was simultaneously a point in time in which i hadn’t known about this, had been looking it up, had been watching it, and had been writing an ending to this post, and had been posting it the next morning before class. that time is both now and not now. Welcome To The Multiverse Theory or whatever its called-
“--my favorite scene of the movie is waking up next to you.” Mine is eating fast food as I listen to AJJ and play Minecraft. We are not the same.
Now I’m hungry but it’s 1 in the morning and i already put my retainer in god fu-
[reading description] what do you mean previously??? she did that in the first episode????????
[still on description] WHAT DO YOU MEAN WILL QUINN BITE THE APPLE AND GO TO BENJAMINS REALITY ISNT THIS OLIVERS REALITY AND HE HAS TO GET BEN TO BITE THE APPLE WHY IS APPLE CAPITALIZED IS THIS THE DOING OF THE FWEMBT
i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have wa-
[description] oh ive been spelling quinn right the whole time nice
i hope she rejects you /j
WAIT BENJAMIN WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE
ISNT HE IN SECOND GRADE-
HE IS SEVEN YEARS OLD HOW IS HE GETTING MARRIED ARE THERE TWO BENJAMINS THAT WE’RE FOCUSING ON-
bro get out of the road ull get hit
how do you knOW WHICH ONE IS QUINN THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON-
so
wait
hills wants ben to feed quinn the apple bc in his mind, that will give hills and quinn a happy ending and she doesnt want ben to see the apple bc thats gonna mean ben will know that his reality isnt reality at all. so then oliver has to,,,, not let anyone eat his apple? he just has to wake up?
IS HILLS THE VILLAIN AFTER ALL ORRRRR
wait but if ben sees the apple wont he realize that his reality is wrong and his reality will change, making it so that hills doesnt get her son? or is there some time-based rule that says they’re only transported to the reality that the person believes at that moment? or is this another stab at the multiverse thing where an infinite amount of hills gets their happy endings while an infinite amount of hills doesnt and etc etc?
i should have watched the ba-
oooo dramatique
they’re in a time loop?
nope thats a new powerpoint
wait so theyre,,,, no-
wait-
nvm-
IS THE BEN WE KNOW AN ADULT GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE OR NOT-
“they were actually pretty nice” didnt they throw someone off a cliff-
oh so it got confusing THEN??? NOT BEFORE?????
“it all seemed so real.” is that Not the point of vivid REM sleep hallucinations-
is oliver gonna show ben the apple and ruin hills’ whole operation
WHO ARE ALEX AND RYAN-
“what’s 25-8″ bro dont do this to me-
yep hes gonna show the apple
ayyy the guy who stole karl jacobs jacket it back
the second hand embarrassment is back and I Hate It
all that happens in episode ONE??? bro get some better writers that is bad pacing
“it’s the best!” wait until season eight. no show has a good season eight.
quinn knows about the apple thing w the dreams and multiverse and realities dont he
YOU KILLED HIM
NOT KARL JACOBS NOOOOO HES ALREADY DIED ONCE
oliver is v relatable
wHaT iN tArNaTiOn-
lemme hear that explanaton again-
is bill cipher gonna show up? i hope bill cipher shows up. i miss gravity falls
“ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” moooooooood
did hills murder quinn
is your family the jasper cult
TOXXIICCCCCC get that lady out of your life quinn that is so toxic
“ ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!  ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT’S THE END NO WHAT WHY NO
The Adventures of Benjamin and Oliver
he is Not Good
ope-
wait so ben is equal parts an adult AND a child?? okay that clears a lot up
I MEAN HE WAS RIGHT THO BEN U CAN’T REALLY ARGUE ON THAT-
ew get off the floor
butterfly effect, multiverse theory, memory decay, and your imagination ALL exist yall gonna ignore that cause you wanna be famous?
“We already know what the future looks like!”
aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-
to add to the list of bad things: Cats (2019)
YA BOI THINKS IT’S NOT ALREADY FIFTY YEARS TOO LATE TO START FIGHTING CLIMATE CHANGE FFFFF
BINGO BABYYYY
get what what
what mapped-
awwwww he thinks THEY’RE creating the multiverse
you gonna dismiss the multiverse theory bc of something you created in your current reality? loooserrrrrr
ABUSE YOUR GODLIKE POWERS
she draggin that seven year old
a lot makes sense now why didnt i do this first-
Jasper
the food shortages-
bro that calculators like 90 bucks at walmart
imagine meeting a stranger and they know Everything about your life like that’s gotta be so weird
what’s even weirder is them telling you you’re the deity of a cult that sacrifices animals
THAT FOURTH WALL BREAK WAS-
KARL JACOBS IS DEAD NOOOOOO
ooohhh there’s context for that
OOOOHHHH THERE’S CONTEXT FOR THIS TOOOO
w h a t -
w  h  a  t  -
W   H   A   T   -
Conclusion:
it’s 2 in the morning and i need sleep but hOOOOO MY GODS THAT WAS GOOD IS IT OVER OR NOT IDK ANYMORE IM TIRED THAT WAS CRAZY I HOPE QUINN AND JASPER GO ON TO BE VERY GOOD FRIENDS, AND I HOPE BENJAMIN AND OLIVER STAY VERY GOOD FRIENDS AND I HOPE HILLS FINDS A THERAPIST WAS A LITTLE CONFUSING BUT I ENJOYED IT
if i dream about apples im suing /j /lh
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depravitymoon · 2 years
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((I know I did one already. I wanted to do it again closer to December 31st.))
I posted 383 times in 2021
117 posts created (31%)
266 posts reblogged (69%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 2.3 posts.
I added 339 tags in 2021
#non yandere - 104 posts
#jojo's bizarre adventure - 44 posts
#yandere - 39 posts
#vento aureo - 35 posts
#yandere giorno - 29 posts
#yandere bruno - 19 posts
#yandere meme - 18 posts
#yandere narancia - 17 posts
#rough draft - 17 posts
#yandere bucci gang - 17 posts
Longest Tag: 85 characters
#there needs to be a slasher fic of risotto bells being the last thing a target hears.
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Yandere Giorno x Childhood Friend Reader Prologue Headcanon.
Author's note: This is a Post-Canon Everyone Lives AU, Giorno's 18, and this assumes female reader. I made this as a headcanon because making this prose style was too time consuming. It's a prologue because it's not when Giorno becomes Yandere, but it's activated.
Summary: A small glimpse into Giorno's life as Don and how he finds out about his childhood friend (you) returning to Naples.
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Giorno gave up trying to find you. After all, you left the country a decade ago.
Besides, being Don keeps him too busy to care about relationships.
The Don likes to pretend he's not a romantic.
Giorno did have a fuckboy phase where he screwed a dozen beautiful women..... but it got boring quick.
Most of them were snotty prima donnas that reminded him of his egg donor and he hated it.
Then one day, Mista mentioned something about these women he was seeing.
Giorno didn’t care. The story’s all the same.
Mista found a hot girl, fucked her, partied at a nightclub, and fucked her friends. If he’s lucky, he didn’t have to flaunt his money at them. What else is new?
Well, this time was different.
“I couldn't fuck one of them, sadly." Said Mista.
"Interesting story." Giorno said, sarcastically.
Mista scoffs, "Let me finish! She mentioned Haruno Shinobana. I think you know that guy, right?”
The young Don became silent. Giorno’s past was still a sensitive topic, so he never shared it with anyone, not even his closest friends. So this really piqued his interest. A woman mentioned his past name? It couldn’t be....
Giorno had lost hope of ever seeing you again and now his only glimmer of hope came from Mista....wow.
He ordered Abbacchio to accompany them back at the nightclub.
Fortunately, Mista remembered that this woman left at midnight.
When Abbacchio used Moody Blues, Giorno was mesmerized.
That woman was indeed YOU.
Giorno couldn't believe you were within his reach.
You've grown in those 10 years. So beautiful....
He was so mesmerized, he couldn't keep up his cold demeanor.
Leone and Guido couldn’t believe what they were seeing..... Giorno Giovanna in love.
After all the flings that come and gone, they knew you were here to stay.
99 notes • Posted 2021-10-17 16:03:22 GMT
#4
Yandere Bucci Gang knocking up Darling Headcanons
Happy Mother’s Day!!!
Thought this was the perfect day for Yandere Family Headcanons. This is NOT a Father Headcanon. It’s a head canon about how your Bucci Gang Yandere made you a mother and their reaction.
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This should go without saying, but WARNING: Yandere scariness and toxic behavior below.
Couldn't find chibi gifs of Nara and Fugo. The Abba one was too small.
Bruno: The Team Mom Yandere himself. 
See the full post
103 notes • Posted 2021-05-09 16:01:17 GMT
#3
How to make the Bucci Gang go yandere for you Headcanon
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Source of gif.
Personally I’m against having Yandere!Character x generic Reader type of fics. Even with turning characters into lovesick psychotic versions of themselves, there still needs to be some level of compatibility and a good reason a character would want reader to obsessive unhealthy levels.
What you need to do to get your Yandere!Mafioso:
Mista
Be super hot.
Reason: I like to think Mista’s shallow; Just a lovable pervert. If you dont have massive tits and a fat ass, you’re not darling material. He’s delusional, so your personality will be given to you. Haven’t thought of shallow standards for men yet.
Narancia
Be cute and be fun to hang out with.
Reason: On the opposite end of Mista, Narancia cares way more about your personality than your looks. If you’re an awesome loyal friend to Narancia, he’ll fall for you.
Fugo 
Be smart and be a good student for him.
Reason: Obviously, this guy can’t handle idiots. He needs someone he can hold a conversation with, enjoy that conversation, and not be on the verge of stabbing you everyday.
Abbacchio 
Remind him of his partner. Be a bright optimistic person that Abbacchio needs to protect from this awful world.
Reason: It triggers emotions in Leone that he thought were long dead. Also, it reminds him of the good person he use to be. He doesn’t want you to end up bitter like him nor does he want you dead like his partner.
Bruno
 Be a good mother for his future children. Also, be a darling whose been hurt and needs Bruno to save them.
Reason: Poor man wants the kind of family that he lost at a young age. Also, the need to save someone from their own terrible situation triggers Bruno’s protective tendencies.
Giorno
Having a big heart is always important. Giorno wants a sugar baby that never wanted to be a Sugar Baby. Paradoxical, but Giorno loves the challenge of getting you to accept your new role.
Reason: Growing up with a selfish gold digging whore of a mother causes a child to either A) Avoid that life or B) Imitate that life. For Giorno, it’ll be both. Being a provider and spoiling darling with material things is all he was taught about “love”, but he certainly wants a lover to be the complete opposite of his egg donor.
((There will be a Poly version of this coming soon.))
106 notes • Posted 2021-05-16 16:01:14 GMT
#2
Yandere Bucci Gang Poly HCs
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A bit of a Sequel to this: LINK
Warning: Yandere scariness, aged up characters, polyamory, kidnapping, implied breeding kink, implied noncon, assumes AFAB at the end.
I’m going with the most popular yaoi pairings of the Bucci Gang. So if you don’t like those pairings, you have been warned. Also, this is an Everyone Lives Post-Canon AU.
FugoNara
See the full post
128 notes • Posted 2021-08-01 16:01:15 GMT
#1
Yandere Bucci Gang Father’s Day Special
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Author’s Note: This is NOT a “Your dreamboy will be the perfect baby daddy” post.  This is a Yandere Post for a reason. This is going to get dark, but it’s not to levels of Giorno’s parents and Fugo’s parents, where there’s zero love in the house. All of them love their kids and provide for them. They’re just very flawed in their expression of love. 
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Warning: Yandere scariness, assumes AFAB darling, implied breeding kink, mention of baby-trapping, enabling Yandere behavior.
So this post is about each of our six lovely gangsters being fathers to your child, Yandere edition! Sort by Best to Worst father.
Bruno - Best Mom becomes Best Dad 
See the full post
132 notes • Posted 2021-06-27 21:00:41 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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