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#i dont even care look at him and tell me he wasnt a hot soldier once PFFFT
hanbearrr · 3 years
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Heidegger, circa 1975 
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marvel-noms · 4 years
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If you’re taking requests for stories, could you write one where somebody takes in both Peter and Tony to protect them, and Tony has done this before and is used to it but Peter is super freaked out and needs to be calmed down? Thank you, I love this au so much
Tony knew the second the plan went sideways he'd be tucked away snuggly in Steve's gut. 
That usually wasn't a problem but this time Peter was on the mission too, which meant that he'd be swallowed down too. 
He hadn't exactly told the kid about the whole 'swallowing each other for protection so he wasn't exactly too keen on what was about to happen.
"Roger's dont you dare." 
Peter shot him a confused look doing his best to keep the weird creatures hydra sicced on them away. He was doing a decent job all things considering.
If Steve heard him over the coms he didn't say anything. 
"Mr.stark? What's wrong?" Peter asks hesitantly as they fight. Tony wished he had time to explain but the second he heard the shield wham into several bodies he knew any time they had was gone. 
"Nothing- just...kid you trust me right?" He asks nervously, blasting a creature down. He could see Steve fighting his way to them, a determined look set on his face. He grits his teeth and covers Peter as the kid refilled his web shooters. 
Peter made a small nervous sound but didnt seemed too freaked out yet. "I..um yeah? Mr.stark what's gonna happen?" 
God the kid was too precious. He could practically see the nervous look on the kid's face behind his mask. 
"So- something extremely weird but you've gotta stay calm." He says firmly. He felt his knees weakening when he saw Steve finally making a path to the.. He couldn't deny the feeling of safety he had inside the man.
"M-mr.stark? You're um..freaking me out a lil."  Peter admits quitely. He got closer to Tony, a silent move of asking for comfort. He seemed to brighten up when he saw Steve, taking his mask off to greet their teammate.
"Sorry kid just- it's going to be alright, got it? Steve's very gentle and the fight shouldn't last that long." Tony explains briefly. A shudder runs along his spine when Steve finally got to them, placing a hand on both his and Peter's shoulder without a word. 
"What?" Peter squeaks out. Tony squeezed his eyes shut as Steve quickly adjusted their size. He felt a bit sympathetic for the kid, it always sucked the first time. He wondered if the kid had enough sense to shut his eyes. 
Steve's hand followed him down, no doubt his other hand doing the same with Peter. He was used to the feeling of shrinking, it happened far to often for him not to be used to it, the spiderling would get used to it eventually too. 
"Mr.Rogers?" Peter squeaked out. Tony could tell the kid was freaked out. There really wasnt an easy way to explain that he was safe at this point. Too much to explain in the awkward time they had left.  
"It's going to be fine son, just try to relax." Steve reassures the kid softly.
 Tony couldn't exactly see Peter thanks to the soldier carefully cuping his hand around him and lifting them both up. He could just imagine the look of confusion on the poor kids face. 
"Try to do it quicky!" Tony says with a grimace. If the kid managed to get sticky on something it wasn't going to be a fun time for Steve. 
Peter was probably in shock at the moment which could be used in their favor. He knew the kid's power didn't work all that well when he was emotional. 
"Got it." Steve says. He was more than thankful that the super solider was trying to be quieter, he wasn't entirely sure how Peter's spider senses were holding up. 
He grimaced when the other hand moved up to the solider's mouth, the kid sliding effortlessly into the awaiting maw.  
They didn't have much time, both until Peter started panicking or until the monsters decided to regroup and attack. 
Tony wasn't used to seeing the whole process happen, he was usually too busy focusing on not accidently kicking something vital. 
When Steve swallowed he was amazed at how effortlessly the kid slipped down. The small lump wriggling every second of the way until he disappeared beneath Steve's collar bone. 
"Well… I guess it's my turn." Tony says after Steve took a breath. The kid definitely needed someone with him, it was his first time and lord knew the spiderling couldn't sit still even in normal situations. 
"Good guess." 
He shakes his head and shifts slightly. The fact that this all had become normal was hilarious to him. What person in their right mind wanted to be eaten? 
Tony was easily pulled out of his thoughts when his legs were eased into Steve's mouth, careful but quick. He wriggles in giving his friend a small hand to move the process along. It hadn't been long since Peter had landed after all. 
It was hot, slimy and more than disgusting but it was safe. 
"Bet the kid's wreaking havoc on your insides." He says. He smiled sympathetically giving the tongue a small pat, it twitched under him slightly.
The response was a small hum, the soldier tilting his head up and swallowing thickly. Tony did his best to stay still, wriggling slightly when the muscles squeezed him a bit too hard for comfort. He knew Steve couldn't help it, but it got uncomfortable with the reactor.
The steady thumping of the heart was always a comfort. It was a constant sound that never failed to soothe his nerves. 
He grimaces as he was squished down, feeling slight pressure before he landed in a mostly empty chamber with a squelch. The first thing he noticed was the panicked breathing of the spiderling, and also the mostly amusing sight of said kid clinging to a rippling stomach wall for dear life. 
"Mr.stark?" 
He could just barely make Peter's face out in the dark, but he could see the terrified look on his face. 
"Hey kiddo." 
Tony wasn't sure what to say to make it better. The first time Steve hadn't even made it clear that he was going to be okay.
He lets a small grunt out as Peter detaches himself from the muscle, dive bombing him.
"I- mr...I dont wanna die." The kid manages to get out between panicked breaths. It was obvious he was trying not to cry at the moment. 
"Woah woah- who said anything about dying?" He grumbles, wrapping his arms around the kids small frame. They were both soaked with salvia and other various fluids but that didn't stop Peter from burying his face into his mentors chest. 
"This is weird as hell, disgusting even- but it's safe." He continues on. Peter flinches when Steve's stomach let a small gurgle out, obviously confused at what the hell had been dropped into it. 
"Safe?" Peter echos, not dating to look up yet. The area shifted, a dull thud echoing from the outside. No doubt the Captain was being attacked. 
"Completely. I've done this before...quite a few times actually." He murmured softly. He rubs Peter's back, letting the kid cling to him. The kid wouldn't instantly relax but it was a start. 
"..b..but..how? This shouldn't be possible." 
Tony had given up trying to rationalize all of this long ago. He sighs softly, grimacing as they slide around with Steve's movements. They were stuck under several inches of solid muscle which would be the safest either of them would ever be. 
"Don't think too hard about it kiddo. It just happens." 
Peter tightens his grip the more they slide around, but he was finally looking up from his mentors chest. In the dim blue light he could see the kids eyes darting around, more with curiosity than fear this time. 
"...it's..and it's safe?" Peter sounded so small and tired. He felt bad for the kid, this had to be hard on him. 
"Yeah, it's safe. We just have to hang out until the fights over." He reassures softly. 
"Just hang on kiddo." 
Tony let a small sigh out, giving Peter a small pat on the back. The kid wordlessly shifted closer to him, gripping the jacket fabric tightly. 
They were definitely having a team discussion later. 
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agentmothman18 · 4 years
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Idk?
During high school, many kids go though many changes. From facial features to their overall outlook. The ugly girls that got picked on, well they blossomed and became the center of attention. And even some jocks, bullies once, had changed into more of gentle giants. So when Dib Membrane went from gothic alien loving freak to gothic bad boy, it wasn't much of a surprise. The geek that everyone hated was now either feared because of his looks or thought to be the coolest guy ever.
And then there was Zim. Who, after finding out about the truth, started to express his defective emotions. He practically became the school's flower child, one with a bad temper of course. As a way to cope with being banished and defective, Zim had thrown everything out that wasn't from earth, except Gir. He redecorated with anything vibrant in color and took a great liking to earth plants. Hint as to why he was called 'flower child.'
The two were completely different from when they first met. But they still talked, sometimes argued, and sometimes just ignored each other all together. With how their looks and personalities had changed, many students thought their little rivalry would get worse. It didn't, in fact, the change was probably the healthiest thing to have happened to them.
"Dib!" Oh, and then there's Keef. The once chaoticly hyper child was now mellowed out. Taking on more of 'I dont care' type of persona. Though the boy was still quite hyper and easily excited about certain things.
Dib glanced up from his sketch book and watched as Keef pranced over. He knew this could only mean the boy was excited about something and was going to tell him everything. Sometimes, Dib had to wonder how Keef and him became friends.
"My 18th birthday party is the same night as prom!" Keef sat on the bench next to Dib, glancing at the drawing only momentarily before closing the book for Dib. "You now have to come to prom." Keef stated, shaking Dib's shoulder. Some kids where watching them, the ones that believed Dib was like how he dressed. Dangerous and ready to snap someone in half. So they had curious and shocked expressions as they watched a preppy guy shake a scary guy like it was normal.
"Keef, buddy." Dib started, scooting away as to hint he didn't want to be shook anymore. "As much as I want to go to prom, I'm not." He was sarcastic, looking at Keef with a blank expression. Dib would like to spend time with his friend for their birthday, but going to prom to do so was a no go. If one thing has stayed the same, it would be Dib's hatred for crowds. Sure he has done many things involving crowds and all attention to be on him, but that doesn't mean he likes it.
"Prom is boring anyway. Why not throw a house party instead?" Zim questioned, jumping into the conversation as he plopped himself between them. He had plans for Friday night, and that was to yet again, throw the control brains guards off his back. Zim may have thrown everything Irken away, but he still did stupid and illegal things. Like steal secret information about the tallests.
Keef then went on to whine about how everyone would be at prom. Or how they needed to go and support him to become prom king. Neither boys cracked under the pressure, until certain things were brought up into the pleading. Keef was using blackmail, even though he didn't want to, he really wanted them to go. This was the only way, at least that's what he thought. It worked, both finally agreeing to go to prom.
"That was low." Zim hissed, crossing his arms and legs. Dib only nodded and open his sketch book.
--
Prom was loud and annoying. To many people were there, talking and dancing and eating. Dib had hid in the corner of the gym, by the food and punch and was glaring at everyone. He hated the tux he had to wear, and loudness of the music and chatter, and it was pretty hot with. Dib had only seen Keef once, telling him happy birthday before the boy disappeared in the crowd. And Zim has yet to arrive.
"You're being antisocial." Dib quickly looked down at Zim, completely thrown by his outfit. Instead of a tux, the short alien was wearing a loose blue dress and 2 inch heels. And surprisingly, Zim looked really good in it.
"You're wearing a dress." Dib stated back, still confused. Well he shouldn't be all that confused, for nearly 3 years he got to see Zim in that irken dress thing.
Zim looked down at himself, lightly dusting off his dress even though it wasnt dirty. The only reason he was wearing a dress was because he found the female clothing cute and fun. And much better then men clothing. "Yes. Zim likes this dress." He looked back to at Dib, then looked him over. Like most teen boys he was wearing a tux but with a dark blue button up and a white tie.
"Aw!" Both jumped at hearing Keef. "You two didn't tell me you were coming together, and with matching colors!" Keef wrapped his arms around their neck, giving them this awkward hug. Both Zim and Dib looked at themselves then at each other, only now realizing just how ironic their color choices were.
"Coincidence." Dib said, slipping from Keefs hold. He brushed himself off and glanced around. Most were standing around and talking instead of dancing to the music. He then noticed someone he hadn't seen at school before. They were dressed appropriately but something felt off about them to Dib.
"Let's all dance!" Keef cheered, quickly pulling the two out into the crowd. It didn't take much for Keef to convince Zim to dance, but Dib refused. He could dance but doing it in front of people was a no for him.
Though he did tap his foot and sway just a bit to the music. Nothing compared to the other teens who danced as if at a rave. But soon the song slowed down, and Keef took this as his sign to go find a dance partner. Leaving the two boys alone in a slightly uncomfortable silence.
Though, Dib finally decided he wanted to dance. "Wanna dance?" He questioned Zim, holding out his hand for the alien. Zim was only shocked of a seconded before taking the boys hand letting him lead. Unlike others that danced to the slow song, the two talked about random things and kept a little distance between them.
As the song came to the end, the two hesitated before separating. Smiling nervously at each other before turning their attention to the principal on stage. It was time to announce the king and queen of prom, and if it wasnt for Keef Dib would have left at this time.
"Think he's going to win?" Zim asked, folding his arms over his chest. He knew this was going to take forever because the principal will give a long speach about safety.
"Yeah." Dib nodded, glancing around. He was searching for that person again, curious to know who they were. His gut was telling him to yo search for them but he wouldn't.
The principal talked on and on about safe driving after prom and even safe sex. Which no one would probably listen to. Soon enough it was time for him to announce the king and queen. Starting with the queen, it was some popular girl Dib didn't care about. Keef had been announced king, no surprise, but everyone still cheered and wished him happy birthday.
Everything was going pretty normal until the roof of the gym was ripped off. A bunch of screaming filled the air and everyone trying to get through the doors. When Dib saw the irken symbol on the ships above, he immediately glared at Zim.
"What the hell did you do?!" He exclaimed, irritation bubbling up.
"I didn't do anything!" Zim hissed back at him, watching irken soldiers dropping down. "Okay maybe Zim stole important data, not the point!" Zim quickly grabbed Dibs arm, pulling him through the crowd of people.
More screams erupted from the crowd, teens being kidnapped by the irken soldiers. The two continued pushing through the crowd, picking up Keef along the way.
"What's going on??" Keef questioned, scared like any normal teen as he followed his two friends.
"Zim fucked up, that's what." Dib grumbled, earning a slap from the alien. He would have slapped him back if it wasnt for the lazer like bullet shooting between them.
Zim picked up his pace, ripping the long part of the dress off to make running easier. He may be shorter than the two humans but he was still fast enough to keep up.
They weren't fast enough though, an alien ship landing in front of them and easily cornering them. The three surrendered, knowing it would be death if they didn't.
--
Dib had long since stripped from the tuxjacket and tie. Pacing around the small cell as he thought of many different plans to escape. All seemed good enough but he couldn't think to far ahead because he didn't know the layout of this ship. Plus he would also have to save all the other teens that were kidnapped. He didn't mind, but this all brought him back to a few years ago. Leaving him with the strong urge to say 'I told you all.'
"Could you stop that?" Keef questioned, his nervous already on edge. Watching Dib pace around only made it worse. The taller boy sighed but stopped, sitting down on the metal floor. Across from their cell was an empty one that would probably be used later. Their cell at least had a bed. "Thank you." Keef sighed, glancing around.
Ever since they were taken, neither of the boys had seen Zim. This raised more questions in Dibs mind. Last he checked, the Tallest hated Zim and told him off. Now they probably had him locked up away from the humans or worse, erased.
As Keef was going to voice his concerns, their attention turned to the door opening. A big alien stepped in front of the door, obviously not an irken, and pointed at Dib. "Come." The alien ordered, stepping out of the way of the door. Dib glanced at Keef before getting up and leaving the cell. He felt a bit bad leaving Keef behind but there was no telling what was going to happen from here.
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zenosanalytic · 4 years
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THE SACRED TEXTS!! EPISODE 2
So I finished Season 2 of Clone Wars(2008) ~the end of last week and, while it def improves on some of the problems of s1, it then has all sorts of OTHER problems of its own, so I kinda consider it A Wash, in general :T
the highlights:
Season to Season, there’s a lot more F U N in s2. I just LOVE how Crunchy and Genre it is. The stand outs, to me, were the zombies/bodysnatchers in the Brain Invader arc, the King Kong Kaiju story in the Zillo Beast arc(complete with an origin in environmental devastation), and, of course, the loving homage to/mashup of Die Hard&Lassie that is R2 Come Home, which basically had me laughing from start to finish. The other attempts at genre eps generally fell flat(though Holocron Heist has one very good moment with the unsuspecting droid-bomb, and the specific submarine bits of the submarine ep, Cat and Mouse, were well done).
They really nailed the “Ahsoka’s problems are because of Anakin’s influence” bit in this season. There aren’t a LOT of eps that touch on this(I can only really think of one, really, Cargo of Doom) but they absolutely bullseye it in that one. They also do a better job of fleshing out Anakin and Ahsoka’s dynamic&how that can act as both a strength and a weakness, though I do feel they could have done a better job with it(for instance, the last 3rd or 4th of Weapons Factory, where Ahsoka and Bariss are trapped within the ruins of the factory, should have been a whole episode on its own; this would have been a great opportunity to focus on this&do some character work)
This season repeatedly contrasts Anakin and Mace, which was Gr8 and Interesting. I wish they’d done more of that.
It continues season one’s excellent handling of the Clones. While there aren’t as many clone-centric episodes, you still get both a good sense of their individuality and humanity(espcl with The Deserter), and also their Awful and Grotesque disposability to everyone with responsibility over them, even the ones who “care” about them like Anakin, who’s constantly throwing their lives away on ill-conceived assaults. Like: this season REALLY forefronts Clone deaths in a way that is inescapable without being over-wrought, belabored, or distractingly self-aware. It really highlights the Jedis’ hypocrisy, both re: their ideology reifying “life”/“soul”/”naturalness” and in how it leads to their general disdain/disinterest for droids.
I liked the relationship they built btw Boba and Aurra Sing, though I think they could have done more with it than they did.
the Spider-Assassin droids in Voyage of Temptation are Hot-As-Shit, but the whole premise which allows their utility, of a luxury-liner with crappy lighting in the cargo-hold&soldiers without flipping flashlights, was kinda dumb.
as for the stuff I didnt like:
WOW the racism sure is awful in this season! Just... non-humanoid aliens being called monsters, portrayed as untrustworthy, stupid, and needlessly violent, and killed off in a series that goes extravagantly out of its way NOT to kill non-clone humanoids left-and-right. And the Mandalorians all looking... EXACTLY THE SAME and... BEING TALL BLONDE AND SUPER PALE... when the only mandalorian we’ve encountered before this was MAURI and when the CANON on Mandalorians is that being “A follower of Mandalore” is very much a culture and ethos rather than an ethnic group...
I feel like the Mandalorian part of this, specifically, could have been done in a way that was actl interesting and explicit about Star Wars’s antifascist politics given the obvs parallels btw fascism and a bunch of supremacist, war-mongering nordics like Death Watch, but obvsl it wasnt.
Most of the eps just really didnt land with me? Like all the spy, macguffin, kidnapping, and police stuff was just boring&poorly executed(also, what kid is going to get the old noir character-type and actor that the Coruscant inspector is referencing? A completely perplexing choice when making him, instead, a sendup of the Law&Order/CSI type US media was saturated with at the time is RIGHT THERE).
While I liked one aspect of the Heist episode, the rest of it was bad & bad heist episodes are Just Unforgivable unu
SO MUCH BAD, STILTED, NONSENSICAL, AND REPETITIVE DIALOGUE
The primary plot-device of this season is The Idiot Ball, and I Hate The Idiot Ball. Cad Bane is legit written as smart, and Aurra Sing is legit written as dangerous and indefatigable, but they mostly succeed because of how fucking dumb the Jedi, clones, and senate security are being at any one moment.
The IDEA and BACKGROUND for Duchess Satine is good, but the execution of her as a dedicated pacifist and engaged, activist ruler is Bad and Inconsistent(and, on the ruler part, mostly not even there). Also, while the idea of unrealized romantic angst btw Satine and Obi Wan isnt NECESSARILY a bad idea given their history, I think making it mutual rather than one-side on Satine’s part was a bad idea(could have done LOTS of interesting stuff btw Anakin and Obi Wan on this), and I think making Satine’s initial frostiness towards Obi Wan Really be a RESULT of THAT rejection(it’s resolved completely by him telling her he shared those feelings at the time), rather than her seeing him(and the Jedi by extension) as having abandoned their peaceful ideals, was Really Bad. And, frankly, she watched her whole family be murdered in political in-fighting and then spent years on the run, being hunted herself, under the protection of the Jedi Order, before negotiating a peaceful settlement with the ppl who murdered her family; I’d have liked SOME evidence of the trauma she’s canonically suffered in her reactions to violence, and also of the absolute steel-spine, endurance, and dedication it took to make peace in those circumstances. Her pacifism isnt just an ideal to her; it ought to be deeply, deeply personal, and viciously hard-won.
The ep, Bounty Hunters completely misunderstands the point of The Seven Samurai and The Magnificent Seven. The whole POINT is that these two bands of highly-trained, deeply mercenary killers decide to protect absolutely destitute villagers who have nothing but the food they themselves need to survive, some out of a sense of their own wickedness, and others out of a sense of loyalty to the former. To apply that premise to a cash-crop plantation(despite the com’s leader’s protestations of poverty later in the ep, Obi Wan straight-up says “this is the most important, and profitable, medical herb in the galaxy” when they first arrive, and obvsl they’re able to hire off-world bounty hunters to protect them) completely perverts it. The Bounty Hunters and Jedi are defending the equivalent of a cotton plantation; they’re defending capitalists. If you remade The Magnificent Seven to have them defend a plantation-owner against, say, a Northern requisition team during the Civil War, the mercs would be the BAD GUYS. Just... shaking my head this whole episode, honestly. At LEAST it was a communal plantation, presumably with profit-sharing.
So yeah, a definite mixed-bag. So far I’d say there’ve been probably 3-5 episodes in this series I’ve really enjoyed but, while there’s a lot that I grumble at, it isnt so bad that I dread watching it(like, for instance, The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina X| X| X|). I repeat my observation from the last one of these that it really does a good job of being just interesting enough that you spend A LOT of time thinking abt how to fix the parts you dont like :p tbh I’ve already started watching s3, but I’ll share my views on that one once I’ve finished it. If you did, thanks for reading ^u^
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Qi Flows for Her
Chapter Three
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Previous Chapter
Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC x Bucky Barnes  |  Word Count: 5296 Warnings: Swearing and angst
Celine sniffled softly as she unpacked her clothes. Crying never solved anything, just drained her more and gave her a headache.
She shouldn't be here. Charles should have sent someone else. It should have been Kitty or Storm. Hell, any of them would have been better than her. How was she ever to build relations between the two factions when the majority of her new teammates looked at her with suspicion?
And then her foolish pride had gotten the better of her. She never should have told the Black Widow her name. The agitation would only grow now. Steve and Bucky would look at her with distrust. Peter would fear her. No one would be comfortable in her presence.
Yet, here she stood, suitcase open, unpacking. Feared or not, she had a job to do. She could not go home until Charles allowed it. She was stuck here in her metal cage, and she was starving.
How ironic.
All those people, all that lifeforce, and she couldn't even touch it. The cramps had not been this intense in years. So much energy wasted. Had she been able to plant her shield and ground her force, the truck would have smashed into it and stopped. Instead, it had plowed straight into her, knocking loose the hold she'd had on her chi, allowing it to dissipate back into the universe instead of drawing it into her body. Add in the energy used to heal her broken ribs and shattered hip, it felt as if she hadn't fed in weeks.
Clamping a hand to her stomach, she bent nearly double in pain. If she wasn't able to leave to hunt, if all she could do was feed off the negative, she would have to be much more careful. Damaging her body would cause her chi to deteriorate so much faster.
They better learn to trust me quickly… Celine sighed, if they didn't, she could get very sick, very fast. Living on negative emotions was like eating a diet of fast food. It sustained her, but it sure wasn't good for her.
Already she missed the heightened state of the school. The sexual tension which ran rampant. Even the thought of it made her salivate. The school was like a smorg of delightful treats. She was always well fed off the rowdy state of the hormonal teenagers.
Here, it was too quiet. What close energy was available was tense, her doing she knew, volatile and fluctuating, but with so few bodies around, and all teammates, she couldn't even take a tentative sip. The hunger filled her with such despair, to the point she’d almost given in to the tears when a knock at the door thrust her back into the real world.
Celine swiped at her face and went to open it, revealing a rather angry looking Barnes. “Sergeant?”
“I already told you it's Bucky.” He frowned, and she dropped her gaze to the floor.
“Something you need?” Had they sent him to get rid of her?
A large, warm hand cupped her cheek. “Dollface, are you okay?”
Shocked, she jerked against his hand. “I'm fine,” Celine whispered, walking away before the tears fell for a whole new reason, but she left the door open.
“No, you ain’t,” he stated, taking the open door as the invitation to enter it was. “Don't let what Nat said get you down. She's overprotective.”
“It is Natasha for whom you should worry. You should all fear for your lives. Is that not the sensible thing to do when faced with the bogeyman?”
He snorted in derision. “Celine, I was the bogeyman for 60 years. You don't scare me.”
She slammed her hand down on the back of the sofa. “Why? Why don't I scare you? I scare everyone once they know, once they figure out I'm Styx. I know Natasha told you. She was itching to the moment I told her.”
“So why tell her?”
“She made me angry!” Celine cried. “It is like being the new kid at school all over again! Pecking order! Pecking order! Who fits where? Who is the most powerful? Who's dick is biggest!” She threw her hands up in anger and winced when her back spasmed. “I want no part of it!” Tears of both pain and anger burned her eyes, and she thrust her palms against them, forcing herself to calm down. “This is why I work alone.” Heaving a heavy sigh, she crossed her arms over her stomach and stared at the carpet. “Forgive me. I am not usually so… reactive.”
“You have every right to be.”
Steve's voice coming from the open doorway made her wince. Now both had been witness to her meltdown. “It does not justify purposely instigating something with Ms. Romanoff. I usually have better control than this.” Celine shook her head. “I should phone Charles. Make other arrangements.”
“No!” They said together.
She darted a glance up and would have taken a step back if not for the sofa behind her. They stood before her, very close, completely silent in their approach. It startled her. Not many could sneak up on her in such a way.
“You wanna get outta here, Celine?” Steve asked.
“I thought I was under house arrest?”
“Who's to say we can't go out with you? That constitutes supervision.” Bucky grinned smugly at Steve.
“Really?” she whispered, shocked by their kindness. Guilt mixed with a touch of pity flared in both their auras. Perhaps she'd sounded a little desperate.
“Ya, doll. We never did get to eat, and there's a great pizza place not far.” Steve nodded toward the door.
“I would love that!” Perhaps she could convince them to walk with her, maybe slip into a club where she could feed.
“Just out and back though. Early start tomorrow.”
Steve's words set her heart plummeting. Still, it was out, and she'd make it work. “Great! A small outing in the city is better than nothing when you're new,” she agreed.
Both looked at her lips then quickly away, and she toned down her allure. They just made it so easy. They were edible, and she didn't mean only their energy.
***
The pizza was, indeed delicious, and she’d relished every bite. Though it filled the void, it did nothing to abate her hunger. While laughing softly at what Steve and Bucky had to say, she paid close attention to the patrons in the restaurant.
It was quite busy, and they were quite famous, but nobody paid them any mind. Both men did an adequate job of hiding their identities. Steve had tossed on a ball cap and black-framed glasses, and a pulse had driven to life in her center for he looked nerd sexy all of a sudden. Celine didn’t really have a preference when it came to sex appeal, but she had to admit, Steve made nerdy look hot.
Bucky, too, had thrown on a ball cap, tucking his hair up beneath it. It left the sleek cut of his jaw on display. The nice long arch of his throat with the stubble of his well past five o’clock shadow had her wondering what it would be like to kiss him there. Lick him there. Bite down and nibble under his jaw where his pulse hammered and the chi flowed strongly.
She was so intent on the two soldiers who were regaling her with tales of the war and their time as Howling Commandos, she almost missed her opportunity. When the large man, thick with muscle, stood to his feet and headed for the bathroom, Celine stood up as well.
“Little girl’s room?” she asked casually.
“Oh, uh, back there.” Steve motioned, a touch flustered.
She patted his shoulder and sauntered away, continuing to think him utterly adorable in his moments of shyness. Once she made it to the hallway, she reached out with her senses to ascertain whether the men’s room was empty of all but the big man. Finding it clear, she snuck inside and turned the lock with a quiet click.
“Uh, lady? Wrong room,” said the man struggling to tuck and zip.
“I don’t think so,” Celine purred, unleashing her allure on him. Her skin gleamed, her eyes glowed, and her hair took on a distinct wave as she glided across the floor toward him. “You want me.”
His eyes had already grown dark with lust. “Yah, look at you.” His aura spiked with pinks and reds, blues and greens.
“Do you lust for me?” she crooned, sitting on the edge of the sink and hiking her dress up her thighs.
“Ya, fuck yeah.” He half walked, half stumbled toward her.
Celine drew him between her legs and fogged his mind further, holding him still as she slipped inside his vision. “Show me what you want,” she whispered and stroked her hand gently down his chest.
She watched the desire play out in his mind. One which consisted of him dropping his pants and fucking her hard and wild against the sink. Feeding it, she laced more lust, more moans, more heat into his vision. As he approached his peak, his body still and unmoving before her while his mind did all the work, Celine opened her eyes. His aura was the perfect colour as she urged his release closer.
“That’s it, that’s right, baby. You’re such a good fuck. So hot and hard. What a nice dick you have.”
He groaned, and his hips jerked in the real world as she began to feed. It was pleasurable for her partner. Even as their energy was siphoned away, when done so in lust with their mind active elsewhere, it felt euphoric. It was not so when she was working and fed on fear.
Still, his taste was everything she’d hoped for, and she sipped gently, taking only what she needed to abate her hunger and no more, knowing it would still leave him weak and a little lethargic.
She rested her hand against his cock, hard and throbbing in his jeans, and rubbed him gently through his pants. It wasn’t something she usually did, but he was so tasty he deserved a little something extra. “You going to come, baby?”
“Fuck…” he groaned.
Celine sipped slowly, squeezed him firmly, and felt him swell and erupt beneath her palm. She drank in his final explosion of energy which came with his release, revelling in the sweet ambrosia. “Oh, baby. You’re so good to me,” she moaned, feeling a hundred percent better.
While he panted and quaked against the counter, she slipped off the sink, tweaked his memory of her slightly, and walked to the door. “Thanks, baby. Don’t forget to clean yourself up,” she called as she checked for people in the hall. Finding no one, she turned the lock, peeked through and darted out to head back toward her table.
She smiled brightly as she slid in beside Bucky. “Dessert?”
Steve eyed her questioningly before leaning closer. “You look better. Have a little pick-me-up while you were back there?”
“A lady never tells,” she grinned, tapping the side of her nose.
“If you were hungry, Celine after what happened in the garage you could have told us.” Bucky’s eyes and voice were full of accusation. “We can’t help you if you don’t tell us the truth.”
Celine looked down at her hands. “I…” She bit her lip and shook her head. “I lost a great deal of strength when I was unable to ground against the pickup. I lost my connection to my chi.”
“You mean how it blew up like fireworks instead of how you pulled it back in during the demo?” Steve asked.
She arched a brow and gave a wry smile. “How observant of you.”
“It’s what I do.” Steve shrugged as he pulled out his wallet and tossed bills on the table.  “Let’s take a walk. I think you’ve got some explaining to do.”
As they stood to leave, she noticed the man she’d fed on saunter back out to his table. There was a goofy smirk on his face, and he flopped down beside his friends where he chugged most of a glass of water. Good. He’d be fine, likely boast about his prowess and the woman who’d jumped his bones in the bathroom.
She walked out quickly, not needing her two teammates to hear the sordid details of his apparent tryst. They were clearly highly intelligent and observant men. She’d need to be careful in the future.
“So,” Steve said, placing his hand on her back. “Explain this to us.”
Celine did her best to ignore the heat which washed over her with his touch. It stoked a flame to life, one fed by the hum of the sexual energy she’d absorbed. Wetness grew between her legs and dampened her underwear. She hadn’t even grown warm with the man in the bathroom, but Steve’s casual touch lit her on fire.
Then, Bucky’s fingers closed around her elbow.
The second point of contact nearly made her moan. Not good, not good. She’d never been so attracted to anyone as she was these two. These two soldiers, a step out of time, being the gentlemen they were raised to be, performing this intrinsic dance of touch and guide which wasn’t present in today’s society turned her on something fierce. If she didn’t get out from under their caress soon, she was going to do something highly inappropriate.
Gently removing her elbow from Bucky’s grasp, she stepped away from Steve and turned to face them. “You are both quite tactile.”
“Is that a problem, doll face?” Bucky asked.
They looked at her like hunting wolves. Like starving wolves, and she was a fat, juicy lamb. She wasn’t even trying, her appeal nearly non-existent, yet they looked like they could lick their lips at any moment.
Celine looked away. “Sometimes.”
“Hands to ourselves. Got it,” Steve said with a nod, motioning for her to continue down the sidewalk.
She flinched at the hurt in his aura. It hadn’t come through in his voice, but she could still feel it. With a sigh, she held out her hands, one to each. When they only raised a brow, appearing even more like brothers, she shook her hands impatiently. “Just give!”
Both large hands engulfed hers, and she jerked them into the alley.
“I will explain this only once and do not need an audience. Feeding heightens my senses. You two oversized soldiers radiate energy like the sun. Touching you afterward feels like this.” Channelling her chi into her hands, Celine gave them both a jolt. While it contained none of the desire she was suffering from and little of the sexual residue she’d fed on, it would feel like holding a live wire to someone unused to it.
“Fuck!” Bucky hissed, gloved hand landing on the wall beside him.
“Damn, Celine.” Steve’s hand tightened.
Celine yanked hers away and stepped swiftly backward. “At those times, it’s best you do not touch me.”
“Roger that,” they said together, looking a little shell-shocked.
She walked out of the alley with the two men to either side of her, close but no longer touching her. It was a relief and a disappointment. She liked the comfort of their touch. Physical touch was something sorely lacking in her repertoire.
Charles had always been casual about touching her hand or arm, but it wasn’t as if he was a hugger. Rogue couldn’t touch anyone without being completely covered, and Logan was so not touchy-feely.  The rest… preferred she didn’t try. But both Steve and Bucky had been very casual about the whole thing, touching her back or arm. Bucky had even touched her face.
“Celine?”
“Yeah, right.” She jerked her thoughts back to the present as they walked along the busy street and crossed at the light to walk through the streetlamp lit paths of Central Park where the pedestrians thinned out at this late hour. “I wasn’t able to ground my power earlier. Chi is life energy. It’s everywhere though I can only absorb it from other people. When my shield went up, I wasn’t fast enough to get it grounded, tied into the strength of the earth. The truck was a much bigger projectile than say a bullet. A flick of the wrist and I can stop a bullet with ease. Had I got my shield grounded, it would have been as solid as a wall. The truck would have stopped as if it had hit one. Instead, it was not quite complete, and it came through the shield and hit me.”
“You said you… lost your connection with your chi?”
She glanced at Bucky. “Yes. I redirect energy. So I pull it from within to use it out here,” she made a vague motion indicating the outer world, “then, draw it back inside. Because I was momentarily stunned I… let go… I guess would be the best explanation, of my energy. Like holding a tiger by the tail. You release it, it’s going to run away.”
“I see.”
Looking up at Steve, she smiled. He was nodding, a look of intrigue on his face.
“Once I came to, my body healed itself using my reserves. Had I managed to hold onto my chi, I would not have needed to feed, but…” She shrugged and trailed off.
“So you lied when you said you were fine in the garage.” Harsh eyes glared at her, and another accusation fell from Bucky’s lips.
Stopping, she looked between the two of them when they turned to glare at her. “Physically I was mostly fine.”
“What’s mostly mean?” Steve demanded.
“I had some bruises left.”
“And before you did your healing trick?” Bucky snarled softly.
Celine frowned. “That, Sergeant, is none of your business.”
“As Captain of this team it sure as shit is mine!” Steve barked.
“As the outcast of this team, I’m perfectly fine with keeping it to myself!” Celine shouted.
Both jerked like she’s slapped them. “Now wait one damn minute!”
“No, you wait!” she snapped, pointing at Bucky. “I have taken care of my own shit since I was five years old! I don’t need two overgrown nannies getting all up in my business. I got hurt, I healed, I fed. End of story.”
“We’re not trying to get up in anything,” Steve said. “We’re your teammates, we’d like to be your friends, but you’re sure not making this easy, doll.”
Stunned, Celine stepped back. “You… you don’t know me. You can’t… you can’t… I don’t have friends. Two substitute father figures and a sister, yes, but I don’t have friends. You can’t be my friends. I can’t have friends!”
Panic filled her, overwhelming and breath-stealing, and Celine ran into the dark night. Ran for the comfort of shadows and silence. Ran beneath the silver light of the moon she was named for. It’s beams coated her in cool light, seeming to try to appease the raging pain inside her.
Her nature changed with her brokenness, hair twisting into coils deepening into a black which rivalled the night sky. She ran until she reached the edge of a large lake, finally stopping at the water line. Barefoot, having lost her shoes in her mad flee, Celine walked into the water and let the cold soothe the fire in her blood.
Pain, anger, despair, all raged inside her. The past which haunted her became her present, forcing her to relive old, painful memories, and she lifted her hands, buried her fingers in her hair and wailed. Just screamed to the sky. The inhuman sound filled the air and rang through the silence. It was as beautiful and haunting as she was.
It killed her, her inability to be anything but alluring.
“I can’t do this,” she whispered, unable to hold back the tears any longer. “Why, Charles? Why me?” Falling to her knees, she plunged her hands into the water.
***
She was fast, they’d give her that, but she was also glowing like a candle between the trees.
He had no idea what he’d said to scare her, but Steve wasn’t about to let the woman go. In an instant, she’d gone from angry to perplexed to terrified. It killed him to know it was his words which had sent her fleeing like a deer.
Knowing they were approaching the lake, they split a few feet apart, determined to stop Celine from escaping down the shoreline. They were so well versed in the others moves, he and Bucky slowed at the same time without bothering to check with the other, walking silently from the trees as a very different looking Celine walked into the water.
Stunned, Steve could only stare in amazement.
Vision had said Styx was the name of a goddess from Greek mythology. He could see how Celine had acquired her name.
The lush, straight hair which usually fell down her back had become thick, black curls. They seemed to shimmer with sparkles of light. The night sky and stars above were reflected in those locks. Her skin had grown milk pale, the same silver as the moonlight. When her hands lifted, he noticed her nails were long and dark, as black as her hair. It was a startling contrast to the unpainted ones he’d remembered seeing at dinner. But it was hearing her scream, the sound a howl of a wounded creature, so hauntingly beautiful, like a wolf baying to the moon, which ripped open his heart.
Glancing at Bucky, he was certain his face reflected the same look of anguish and determination. Steve was quick to stride forward, managing to catch her whispered words. They broke his heart all over again. When Buck had said she was broken, he hadn’t really believed it. How could a woman who was so damn beautiful be broken? But he should have known. One wounded soul could always recognize another and looks mean little to what was buried on the inside.
Her collapse into the water sent him lurching forward. “Celine, baby, no.”
She looked up, and he fell into her eyes. “Wow…” Fully gold, they were what he imagined a goddess’s eyes would look like.
“Don’t!” She jerked her face away. “Don’t look at me!” Her cheeks were wet with tears.
Steve ignored the way she curled in on herself and lifted her up, half dragging, half carrying her from the water. Once on the shore, he cupped her face. “Why wouldn’t I look at you? You’re beautiful, Celine.”
“I know!” she wailed, the sound heartbreaking a second time. She jerked away only to run smack into Bucky.
He grabbed her by the elbows. “Easy, doll… face… whoa,” he murmured, stroking her hair back behind her ear.
“Please, don’t…” she begged, voice full of despair. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Why would you hurt us?” Steve asked, stepping closer, caging her between the two of them.
“It’s in my nature…” she whispered. “I hurt you, or you hurt me. It’s my curse. Like my face.”
Placing his hands on her waist, Steve leaned into her back. A shudder wracked her spine, and a whimper left her throat. “You’re not going to hurt us, Celine, and we would never hurt you. Ain’t that right, Buck?”
Bucky shook his head and lifted her arms up to wrap around his neck. “Never,” he agreed, leaning forward to press her further into Steve, holding the broken woman between them. “You don’t scare us, darlin’. You’re not big enough,” he chuckled softly.
“I could kill you both in an instant, and there is nothing you could do to stop me,” she whispered.
“Would you?” Steve asked, sliding a hand around her waist to hold her tighter.
“No.”
“Then what’s the problem?” Bucky asked.
She looked up, and Steve watched the awe wash over his best friend’s face. “That is the problem,” she whispered. Then, her bright candle glow went out.
Steve startled and stepped back, shocked at his forwardness. Bucky, too, looked stunned when she pulled away.
Celine’s smile was sad, her posture small and full of guilt. She was back to the beauty she’d been from the first, but the goddess who’d fallen to her knees in the lake was gone. “Thank you, for wanting to be my friend, but I… I can’t. It’s best if we are, simply, teammates. Forgive me my outburst. I promise to be much more professional come morning.”
“What… what just…?” Bucky scrubbed a hand over his mouth.
She wouldn’t look at them and twisted her fingers together. “It’s my nature.”
Steve couldn’t read auras, but he didn’t need to, to see the pain wash over Celine. “Celine.” She finally lifted her head, and his heart shattered. He’d never seen such brokenness, such absolute desolation in someone’s eyes before.
“I’m tired, Cap. Lost and filthy. Can we just forget this happened?” Her amber eyes pleaded for understanding.  
He would give it… for now. “Sure, Celine.” He reached for her, watched her recoil, and felt pain pierce what was left of his heart. “You’re gonna wreck your feet, doll. You want me to forget this, then let me help you.”
She bit her lip, eyes downcast again, but gave a slow nod.
Not giving her a chance to change her mind, Steve slung her up in his arms. The stiffness of her body hurt him as much as the earlier rejection. A glance at Bucky showed he appeared just as devastated. “We’re gonna go in the back way.” He doubted she’d be impressed if anyone else saw her like this.
“Thank you,” she whispered, relaxing enough to rest her head on his shoulder.
He closed his eyes for a brief moment, more pain ripping into his heart, and breathed in the scent of her hair. She smelled like exotic spices. With a silent sigh, he nodded to Bucky and headed for the tower.
***
Celine sat on the floor of her shower and let the water run over her. She'd nearly done it again.
Friends…
She couldn't have friends. Friends turned on each other. Friends stabbed each other in the back. Friends eventually became enemies. In the end, enemies tried to kill you.
She hugged her knees and fought desperately against the memories trying to surface. Ones of laughter and camaraderie. Of happiness. Of first stolen kisses and fleeting touches. Of betrayal. Of accusations, anger, and pain. She couldn't let them surface. They were her past. This was her future. The two could not mingle. She couldn't, wouldn’t let history repeat itself. She'd caused too much pain the first time.
“Celine…”
The voice whispered in her mind. “Go away, Charles. You and I aren't currently speaking.”
“Went that well did it, darling?”
“You're a right git!”
“Celine, language,” he chastised gently.
“Why am I here, Charles? The truth! They don't want me, and I sure as shit don't belong.”
“You have spent too much time with Logan.”
“Charles, no games.”  She was too tired for games.
A soft sigh fluttered in her brain. “There are things you must learn. The Avengers can teach them to you.”
“What things!?”
“If I told you that, how would you ever learn them for yourself?”
“That's a game, Professor!” she snapped.
“You cannot tell me they all don't want you?”
She cringed. “Yes, all. After tonight… all.” Steve and Bucky hadn't said a word, just deposited her before her door and walked away.
“Celine? Show me!” he demanded.
“Why should I?” She sounded like the petulant, pouting teenager she’d once been and knew it.
“Celine Ena!”
“Fine! You're so damn pushy!” She gave a heavy sigh and showed him her shame. His silence had her cringing.
“Ghealach beag,” he said quietly.
Love and comfort filled her mind. “Charles…” She sobbed into her hands. He hadn't called her little moon in years.
“You are too hard on yourself, Celine. The mistakes of your past are not ones you will make now. You know better. You're stronger.”
“I almost…” She shook her head, voice choked.
“No, you did not. You simply became Styx before them.”
“And they fell! I don't want to hurt them. Charles!” The cry was all despair and desperation.
“Give the Captain and the Sergeant more credit, Celine. They are not boys.”
“I won't take the chance! If I turned them against each other…”
“Celine,” he sighed.
Celine scrubbed at her face. “No. No, I'll do the job, Charles. I'll work with them, be part of the team, but I won't be more than that. I can't!” she cried, getting to her feet and turning off the water.
“Enfant obstiné,” he muttered.
“First the Gaelic and now French? You really are miffed at me.” And she wasn't a stubborn child.
“Yes, you are. Do not block them out, Celine.” His presence faded with the final warning.
“What do you know?” she huffed, both in indignation and frustration. He wasn't telling her something, clearly, but until Charles chose to speak, she would know nothing.
“Learn from the Avengers…” She almost snorted before catching sight of herself in the mirror. Her colour was off. “Fuck!” she hissed vehemently, reached for her reserves and sighed when she touched them.
She wasn't hungry yet, but she wasn't as replete as she had been after her snack at the pizza place. Another waste of energy, all that grief at the lake. This was why she preferred to be alone. Other people disconcerted her too much. Other people required effort and feelings.
She was out of her element. Floundering. If she didn't get it together and soon, this was all going to go up in flames around her.
Wrapping her hair in a towel, she went to get ready for bed, determined to block all the Avengers from her mind. Once she disconnected from them, she would be able to breathe.
***
Bucky sat brooding on the couch in Steve's room nursing a glass of whiskey which would do very little to him. It was a habit more than anything, but the fiery burn down his throat was a reminder of his past life. Drinking was not something HYDRA had allowed him, so he did it now as a symbolic fuck you.
Steve was sitting across from him, nursing his own glass, and brooding just as deeply.
“What the fuck just happened?” Bucky finally asked, unable to remain silent any longer.
“I don't know.” Steve sighed and rubbed at his forehead. “I scared her bad, Buck.”
“Don't think it was you, Steve, so much as something you touched on by accident.” He downed the rest of his glass, hissing at the burn in his throat. “She doesn't have friends. Maybe she did once. Maybe it went bad. Real bad if that's her reaction.”
“She didn't want us to look at her, either. For all Nat's talk about Styx, what I saw tonight was a woman who feared what she was.” Steve downed his own glass. “Maybe even hated it. When she was mad earlier, she'd said, I am a person, no matter how much my mutation has taken from me.”
Bucky grunted. “What the fuck happened in her past? Who the hell hurt her so badly?”
“I don't know, Buck. I don't know.”
“Taking care of my own shit since I was five years old.” He rested his elbows on his knees and bent over them. “Five, Jesus!” He couldn't even imagine what kind of life she'd had.
“It's my curse, like my face. What the hell is she that she’s so damn scared of herself? What is it she thinks she'll do?” Steve wondered.
As if on cue his phone rang. He frowned at the secure line but picked it up. “Rogers.”
“Captain.”
“Professor.” His eyes snapped to Bucky's as both of them sat up straight.
“I was hoping to speak with you for a moment about Celine.”
Wary, Steve said, “Alright.”
“I do hope she hasn't caused a commotion. She can be a bit… high strung.”
Steve felt himself bristle at the insinuation. “She's been nothing but professional,” he snapped.
“Excellent.” A sound of amusement filled Charles’ voice. “Her power is quite impressive. It tends to scare people.”
“Celine doesn't scare us.” Again he found the professor's words upsetting. Was this the kind of put down negative thinking she was subject to? Coming from someone, she'd labelled her surrogate father?
“Are you certain, Captain? I could always call her home. Replace her with another X-Men more … suitable?”
“Celine suits us fine. We want her as part of the Avengers. End of story.”
A chuckle was heard on the other end of the line. “Very well, Captain. Good night.”
He hung up, and Steve had the overwhelming desire to chuck his phone at the wall. But then, Maria would give him shit for breaking another one. “Fuck!” he swore instead, earning a raised brow from Bucky.
“This is some screwed up. I don't give a flyin’ fart what she said. I'm going to find a way through, Stevie. She needs friends.”
“She needs a real family.” Steve agreed. “We've got to stop looking at her like she's the enemy.”
“Starting tomorrow, we chip away at that wall of hers,” Bucky stated, getting to his feet.
“Yeah. I'm with you, pal.”
“Till the end of the line, punk,” Bucky said, heading for his own rooms.
Next Chapter
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araeph · 7 years
Note
I think Sokka's quest for identity is one of the most interesting things about him. What it means to be a man, to be useful and to be acknowledged is an interesting central conflict for a supporting character. What do you think S3 Sokka believes it takes to be a man. I think he's learnt to intercede and mediate issues in his family and to make tough choices. What else can you think of?
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Sokka: Now men,it’s important that you show no fear when you face a firebender. In the WaterTribe, we fight to the last man standing. For without courage, how can we callourselves men?
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Anotherexcellent question! Sokka’s quest for identity is intrinsically linked to hisquest for manliness, because if you’ll recall, Sokka was not able to become aman by Water Tribe custom before he was nominally put in charge of the tribe:
Bato: How aboutyou, Sokka? You must have some good stories from your first time ice-dodging?Katara: He never got to go. Dad left before he was old enough.Bato: Oh, I forgot, you were too young.Aang: What’s ice-dodging?Bato: It’s a rite of passage for young water tribe members.
But while Katara was helping with the chores, keeping her familytogether and helping to deliver babies, Sokka was left adrift, without apaternal example to emulate for two of his teenage years. War never came to hisdoorstep, so he resorts to “training” the kindergarten crowd. And notice thatKatara (and likely the other members of his tribe) don’t take this seriously:
Katara: Ugh, I’membarrassed to be related to you! Ever since Mom died I’ve been doing all thework around camp while you’ve been off playing soldier!
Playing soldier.Katara’s right: that’s exactly what Sokka has been doing, because therigid gender expectations of being a man don’t allow him to do anything else.Once Aang arrives and upends Sokka’s world, his identity as a would-be mancollides with the reality of the war and the people around him.
The Four Partsof Being a Man (by Sokka)
1. Leader
Sokka : Iknow you all want to fly, but my instincts tell me we should play it safe thistime and walk.Katara: Who made you the boss?Sokka: I’m not the boss—I’m the leader.Katara : You’re the leader? But your voice still cracks!Sokka: I’m the oldest and I’m a warrior. So…I’m the leader!
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Katara: You’rehurt. Badly. You can’t fight anymore. Hakoda: Everyone’s counting on me to lead this mission, Katara. Iwon’t let them down.  Sokka: Can’t you heal him any faster? Katara: I’m doing everything I can. Sokka: I’ll do it.Katara: No offense Sokka but you’re not exactly Mr. Healing Hands.Sokka: No.  I’ll lead the invasion force. Katara: Don’t be crazy, Sokka.Sokka: Maybe I am a little crazy but the eclipse is about to start andwe need to be up that volcano by the time it does.Hakoda:  You can do this. I’m proud of you, son. Katara: I still think you’re crazy but I’m proud of you too. 
Sokka’s father is the chief, so it makes sense that being a man impliesbeing a leader. But before his adventure, Sokka has only a nebulous idea ofwhat that really means. Worse, he seems to think that being a man makes him aleader, instead of being a leader making him a man. When he first tries toassert his authority in “Jet”, he is met with ridicule:
Aang: Walking stinks!How do people go anywhere without a flying bison?Katara: I don’t know Aang. Why don’t you ask Sokka’s instincts—theyseem to know everything.Sokka: Ha ha. Very funny.Aang: I’m tired of carrying this pack.Katara: You know who you should ask to carry it for a while?Sokka’s Instincts!Aang: That’s a great idea! Hey, Sokka’s Instincts, would you mind—Sokka: Okay, okay—I get it.
As so often happens, Sokka has to adapt to the situation. “Jet” is abouta boy who, although a good leader in most senses, leads his team astray intomurder and mayhem. Sokka, even though he is a novice, realizes innocent livesare on the line and warns the townspeople before the dam explodes. He didn’texpect to be a leader at the moment, but he didn’t fail when it really mattered.Throughout the series, his tactical and strategic successes accumulate untilthe entire GAang relies on him to plan their missions. And on “The Day of BlackSun”, despite his fumbling speech beforehand, Sokka takes the reins of themission and performs admirably.
Aang: It’s over.The Fire Lord is probably long gone. Far away on some remote island where he’llbe safe during the eclipse.Sokka: No. My instincts tell me he wouldn’t go too far. He would have asecret bunker. Somewhere he could go so it’ll be safe during a siege but stillbe close enough to lead his nation.Toph: If it’s an underground secret bunker we’re looking for, I’m justthe girl to find it. 
No one’s laughing at Sokka’s instinctsnow.
2. Protector
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Katara :Sokka, you’re making a mistake. Sokka: No! I’m keeping my promise to Dad. I’m protecting you fromthreats like him! 
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Illusion Yue: You didn’t protect me.
Sokka’smother was murdered when he was very young, and there was nothing he could doabout it. He knows from how devastated his father was and how driven he becameto help the war effort that being a man must mean protecting people—especially the women in your life. Sokkaprotects Katara on multiple occasions from threats real (Jet, Mai) and imagined(Aang, Appa). Protecting Katara is his way of protecting the mother he couldn’tsave as a boy. And his inability to protect Yue from sacrificing herself cutshim deeply. He overcompensates by trying to shield Suki from everything:
Suki:  Look,I know you’re just trying to help, but I can take care of myself. Sokka: I know you can. Suki: Then why are you acting so over protective?Sokka: It’s so hard to lose someone you care about.  Somethinghappened at the North Pole, and I couldn’t protect someone. I don’t wantanything like that to ever happen again.
In the end,Sokka learns how to be protect the people he cares about without stifling them.His shielding of Toph in the finale is very similar to his protecting Katara inthe pilot:
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But there’sone key difference: in the pilot, Sokka thought of Katara as someone who ismore in need of protection as a girl. In the finale, Sokka recognizes that Tophcan’t see the falling shards of metal, but respects her fighting ability overand over:
Sokka: Did Imention how sweet it was that you invented metalbending?
Sokka: I am soglad we added you to the group!
3. Warrior
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Even morethan being a leader, being a warrior defines being a man in the Water Tribe.And no wonder; with decades of being raided by the ruthless Fire Nation, andwaterbenders being increasingly scarce, the South would have had to rely moreand more on brute strength to drive off the invaders. A warrior is also the onething Sokka is most insecure about because it implies a certain skillset thathe was too young to receive full training in. Not to mention, his sister is awaterbender and he is not. Witness this exchange from “The Warriors of Kyoshi”:
Sokka:  Whoare you? Where are the men who ambushed us? Suki:  There were no men. We ambushed you. Nowtell us, who are you and what are you doing here? Sokka:  Wait a second, there’s no way that a bunch of girls took usdown. 
Althoughgender roles are fairly rigid in the Southern Water Tribe, the Sokka from thevery beginning of the series feels an especially constant need to reinforce being awarrior as a “manly” pursuit and puts Katara down for being a girl. I am remindedof Iroh’s speech to Zuko:
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Iroh: Prince Zuko,pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source.
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Iroh: Truehumility is the only antidote to shame.
Sokka’s status as a nonbender is oftena source of shame for him. He is treated differently by bending masters:
Master Pakku: Sokka. Take care, son. 
And even his own teammates:
Toph: We can take‘em. Three on three.Sokka: Actually, Toph, there’s four of us.Toph: Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t count you. You know, no bending and all.Sokka:  I can still fight!Toph: Okay. Three on three plus Sokka.
This leads him to act proud of hismanliness, an attribute that he needs no training or bending to have. He eventries to get Aang to act “manlier” and not answer to “Twinkletoes”. In the end,though, he confesses the truth about how he feels:
Sokka: Look, Iappreciate the effort, but the fact is each of you is so amazingand so special, and I’m not. I’m just the guy in the groupwho’s regular. 
But Sokka isspecial, and as the series goes on, he proves his mettle with a balance ofoutlandish inventiveness and logical practicality:
Sokka: See, theproblem with the old war balloon was you could get it airborne, but once youdid, it just kept going.  You could put a hole in the top, but then allthe hot air would escape. So the question became, how do you keep a lid on hotair? Katara: Ugh, if only we knew. Sokka: A lid is actually the answer. If you control the hot air, youcontrol the war balloon.  Katara: Hmm. That’s actually pretty smart. 
Sokka: I need a plan of this machine. Some schematics that showwhat the inside looks like. Then we can find it’s weak points. Aang: Where are we gonna get something like that What are youdoing! Someone’s gonna hear us! Sokka:  That’s the point. I figure a machine this big needsengineers to run it, and when something breaks…Katara: They come to fix it. 
He overcomes his insecurities as a warrior by being true to himself.
Piandao: Sokka,when you first arrived, you were so unsure. You even seemed down on yourself.But I saw something in you right away. I saw a heart as strong as a lionturtle, and twice as big. And as we trained, it wasn’t your skills thatimpressed me.  No, it certainly wasn’t your skills.  You showedsomething beyond that.  Creativity, versatility, intelligence… these arethe traits that define a great swordsman. And these are the traits that defineyou.  You told me you didn’t know if you were worthy, but I believe thatyou are more worthy than any man I have ever trained. 
4. Father
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Sokka can show how brave he is, how creativehe is, and how much of a leader he’s become. But in the end, he measures hisidentity as a man by his father’s example:
Aang:Sokka, that speech wasn’t your moment of truth. That was just publicspeaking and nobody’s really good at that.Sokka: My Dad is. He explained the plan perfectly and inspired everyone.Like a real leader should. Aang: Look, your moment of truth isn’t going to be in front of some map.It’s going to be out there, on the battlefield. 
Unlike with Zuko, Sokka’s confidence in hisfather is fully justified. As he grows and matures, he becomes, not a copy ofhis father, but his own person. He learns that he can be a warrior withoutputting others down, and he can assert authority without being pigheaded. Hecan trust in his own abilities, regardless of how skilled everyone else isaround him. And Hakoda validates Sokka’s identity in every respect.
As a protector:
Hakoda: Sokka…Sokka: I’m coming with you.Hakoda: You’re not old enough to go to war, Sokka, you know that.Sokka: I’m strong! I’m brave! I can fight! Please, Dad!Hakoda: Being a man is knowingwhere you’re needed the most, and for you right now that’s here protecting yoursister.Sokka: I don’t understand.Hakoda: Someday you will. I’m going to miss you so much.
As a warrior:
Hakoda: Ready togo knock some Fire Nation heads?Sokka:  You don’t know how much this means to me dad. I’ll make youproud, and I’ll finally prove to you what a great warrior I am.Hakoda:  Sokka, you don’t have to prove anything to me.  I’m already proud of you, and I’ve alwaysknown you were a great warrior.Sokka: Really?Hakoda: Why do you think I trusted you to look after our tribe when Ileft?
As a leader:
Sokka:No. I’ll lead the invasion force. Katara: Don’t be crazy, Sokka.Sokka: Maybe I am a little crazy but the eclipse is about to start andwe need to be up that volcano by the time it does.Hakoda:  You can do this.I’m proud of you, son. 
And as a man.
Hakoda: Bato, getthese mines loaded up. The rest of you men, prepare for battle!  Sokka: Uh, what should I do, Dad?Hakoda: Aren’t you listening? I said the rest of you men get ready for battle.
Sokka willbe a fantastic father to his own children someday, no matter what LOK might imply.
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lostandbrokenshell · 5 years
Text
Darkest Before Dawn Part 11
Farcry 5 fanfic. Rated M for Mature language and sexual reference. No pairing or plans for smutt.
You didn’t want to hang around Faith’s region and deal with the bliss, and the Sheriff wanted you to try and contact the whitetails again. You tried to protest and argue to get out Hudson first but lost.
‘John is on a war path looking for you, no good can come from it right now. I cant be down two good people, im sorry i want her back to, but rushing it helps no one.’ He said before he sent you off.
You sigh deepy and look around, you had made enough noise liberating the lumber mill other resistance members had come and helped. It didn’t take long to overwhelm them and drive them out. Only a few minor wounds surprisingly from those fighting, it was the people who the peggies captured that needed more attention.
“You must be the famous deputy.” One of the resistance members said to you, she was young in her teens. But even then she looked like she could own you in a fight if it came down to it. She never missed a shot with her bow in the fight, she even light a few on fire. “The Whitetails have been following your actions since this started.” She said while adjusting the bow on her back.
“Good or bad?” You ask as you finish looking at the last person for medical treatment.
“We decided to help.”
“Fucking eh!” You say excitedly.
She raised her eyebrow at you. “When it comes to it, we will help you against Jacob. We wont send any people anywhere else until hes dealt with.”
You nod and she walked away, you knew dealt with ment killed. A few people left with her but most stayed behind to help hold the mill. You doubted Jacob was going to like look loosing this place it had lots of prisoners when you took it.
“Joanne, Joanne, Joanne.” His voice rang over the radio. A bunch of people around you jumped and you could see the fear on their faces from his voice alone.
You head over to the trees to not cause a panic. “Hello Jacob, sorry i had to leave in a hurry last time. After coffee with you, i thought maybe it was time for tea with the Sheriff.”
“Mmm, funny.” He replied calmly. “Did you ever think that it was to easy though? I wasn’t expecting you to take Peaches, and for your gaurd to leave his post. But I wasn’t to worried about you leaving, do you know why?”
You walk over to a tree and lean against it, confused. It was easy, they didn’t panic until Pratt was with you. They didn’t really care you where leaving, they cared he was. “Why?” You ask slowly.
“Because i know you will come back when i call.” He replied. “Only you, can make this world seem right.” He said into the radio. The song filled your mind, you could here the soft clicking from the music box. Your head started to hurt every thing swirled as it went dark.
You feel your mind bubble up quietly after a while You couldn’t open your eyes or move everything was so heavy.
“You have my word Jacob, i wont leave her until you come back.”
“Good.”
A door closed and you drifted back into the darkness. When you woke back up you could hear the radio playing, it wasn’t on the peggie station. Slowly you sit up and look around, there was lots of sunlight pouring through the window. So it was at least around midday, but it was around midday when you talked to Jacob... Has more than a day passed? If so just a day? You look around and see a curious peggie watching you drinking coffee.
“Afternoon.” He said cheerfully.
“How long have i been out?” You ask slowly.
“Couple of days, you went through another trial. Theres food in the kitchen, I would of made you something beforehand but i wasnt sure when you would be up. Im also a terrible cook and I didn’t want to poison you.”
“Your weirdly nice for a peggie.” You say slowly and he laughed.
“Call me Charlie, I’m Jacob’s right hand man. Tell you what, you call me Charlie in stead of peggie and i wont call you a filthy sinner.” He said as he winked at you.
Was he flirting? Or joking? Or serious? “Im sorry, im confused. Uh, you just dont seem like the typical peggie. No offence or anything but its always ‘Sinner’ this or ‘Father’ that with the occasional ‘Your unworthy of the families love’. So its just confusing. To see a normal... Person, dressed like a peggie?... Uh, Charlie” you say slowly.
“Most of Jacobs higher ups are loyal to Jacob before the cause. We could careless about sinners, theres a war coming, and we will be ready.” He said you nod unsure of the situation you where in. “Before you get out of bed I should tell you the rules. I go with you every where, you dont leave this cabin at all, or open windows. Im not going to help you clean or organize, you can have a steamy hot shower if you want.” He paused giving you a cheeky grin. “I wont touch you, harm you in any way. Unless, you break the rules. At which point my orders are to stop you as painfully as i can, without breaking bones, if it can be avoided. Thats more frowned upon than not allowed thing, breaking bones FYI.”
“Well thats, nice? I guess.” You say slowly. “So, wheres Jacob and why this... Cabin of all the places I could be. And why only one guy?”
“Only me in here because im that good sunshine.” He gave you a wink. “Would it surprise you to know theres a group of hand picked soldiers outside surrounding the cabin to? And, we are here instead of any other outpost because Jacob doesn’t want John or Joseph to know your here. As far as I understand anyways, but when he comes back you can ask him.” He said cheerfully.
“Thanks for being honest Charlie.” You say as you get up and look around some more. It was a small three bedroom cabin, every thing about it was small from the bedroom sizes that only had twin beds to the small kitchen. But it was better than that small room before the last place Jacob had you.
“You know, your like a way better looking version of Jacob, but like John sized.” Charlie said from behind you while you where pouring yourself coffee.
“So if im like the ultra good looking version does that mean you consider Jacob good looking?” You ask while giving him a smirk and taking a sip.
“First, i said way better, not ultra. Also, all the female ‘peggies’, as you call them throw themselves at his feet and pant over him, its hard to miss. All im saying is you look just like him, but as a female, and shorter, that makes you better lookin.” He gave you a small wink.
He was flirting! “Whats my brother going to say, if he finds out your flirting with me? And are you saying if Jacob was a female he would be attractive?”
“He will only care, if I touch you.” He said with a smile. “And also, ouch. I kinda did walk into that one didn’t it and if he looked like you, yes. I got to say, I certainly admire you, takes balls jumping in this mess and hit it running. I overheard John talk to Jacob, a critical intervention paramedic before this? Impresive.”
“What do you know about that?” You ask curiosly.
“Not a damn thing, im just a simple ex jarhead honestly. But it sounds impressive and im trying to win brownie points right now.” He said with a shrug and coy smile.
You couldn’t help but return it but go back to your coffee and taking in the surroundings and listening to the radio. You where trying to remember what you went through in the trials, all you could remember was walking. Your lack of knowledge of what happened bugged you.
It was late when Jacob came back he didn’t even say anything when he came in he just looked at Charlie and nodded to the door. Without a word Charlie got up and left and Jacob turned to you.
“You really pissed off John.” He said to you with a smirk.
“My bad. I got his people to clean up a bit though. Is he more mad i left, or that i took the plane?”
“Dont know.” He said with a shrug. “Probably both. I had more supplies brought to your bunker, at your house.”
You where completely taken off gaurd and surprised. “Ok.. Why?”
“We have all told you, its coming. One way or another i want to make sure your fallback is stocked.” He got came over to you. “Theres more to come, according to Joseph, before it happens. You would be better off, with us.” You shake your head and he chuckled softly. “You remind me of a medic i knew long ago, stubborn, but good. I have to go, my men are coming with me. You can go, do what you want. Until next time Joanne, one more trial.” He turned around and left.
You where speechless, why? He had you brought here, and had you watched over for a small chat and goodbye? Put more supplies in your bunker, how did he know it was yours? Was it yours he was at? You sigh deeply even more confused about this situation than earlier.
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