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heyyyharry · 3 years

Text

Happier

(inspired by happier by Olivia Rodrigo)

Word count: 2.4k

I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

Part 1: Drivers License

Part 2: Deja Vu

A/N: I edited the original lyrics to match the POV :)

Harry had come up with a thousand scenarios of how this day would play out. Actually, he’d been thinking of this day since the moment he’d received the news. He didn’t dare to hope that she’d say yes to coming back for a sequel. He’d been sure that they would write her character off, give a lame excuse for how his love interest could not make a return and make his character forget about her completely to move on with a new girl in town. It would have been great if it was that easy in real life. Once someone was written off the script, they were gone for good. Real-life relationships were not that simple. Goodbye didn’t mean ‘never see you again’. You would still share the same friend circle and social bubbles, and it was worse when you two worked in the same industry. Harry didn’t know how he’d lasted a year without running into her, not since the Grammys.

“Didn’t you two date?”

“No.” Harry shook his head, but his eyes stayed glued on Y/N from across the room. She wasn’t looking his way, too busy saying hello to everyone else. “No,” he repeated, more to himself than to his co-star. “We didn’t.”

“But she wrote an entire album about you,” said the other twin. What was her name again? Lulu?

“Luna!” cried her sister, Lex. “You can’t ask him that!”

“No, it’s okay,” Harry said with a tight smile, slightly annoyed by the blonde twins, but he didn’t want to seem like an ass on the first day of filming. “And I don’t know if it was for me. You should ask Y/N.”

“Ask me what?”

Harry flinched when he looked up and saw Y/N padding towards them. She hugged the twins, who seemed way too excited. Harry guessed they were Y/N’s fans. They gave off crazy fangirl vibes, probably just pretending not to know the drama to interrogate him. He couldn’t blame them for assuming he was the villain and definitely could not blame Y/N for portraying him as one. It was more important that he knew who he was and how much he had changed since his last relationship. Maybe they could finally be friends.

“Were they bothering you?” Y/N asked him once the twins had left.

Harry nodded. “They’re your friends?”

“Oh, I met them last year on tour. I’m surprised you don’t know them. They were on Disney.”

“I don’t watch Disney,” Harry admitted with a smile. “Well, not today’s Disney.”

“Understandable.” Y/N nodded and bit her lip. She seemed guarded with her straight back and hands hidden behind her. She eyed him up and down, quite subtle yet noticeable. “How have you been?”

“Pretty good,” he said, nodding slowly. “You?”

“Yeah, but mostly tired because of tour.”

“You’re done?”

“Yup, last night was the last show.”

“Nice.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow. “Nice?”

Harry blinked. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No.” Y/N giggled. “You still sound very...you.”

“Well, shouldn’t I?”

“Yeah, you should. But it’s been a year so…I mean, you haven’t changed much.”

“Right,” he said lowly, his eyes falling to his feet. Harry supposed he should say something else, perhaps bringing up another random topic to discuss, but all he could think about was what had happened between them. Things had been messy, hadn’t they? How could they go back to before that? Before her first song about him. Before he’d chosen someone else over her.

Or he could talk about her new relationship. She’d been in a happy relationship for almost six months, right? No wait, hadn’t they broke up two weeks ago? He wasn’t sure because he hadn’t been catching up. If they’d broken up, he’d sound like an ass to even mention her ex’s name. He should just stay quiet.

“I’ll see you later?” she said, gesturing at her stylist who was waiting by the door.

Harry could ask her right now -- the reason she’d agreed to film the sequel to their first movie together. He’d heard from a very reliable source that she’d specifically asked her agent to decline any project that he was in. So did this mean they were good? That she didn’t hate him anymore? He could have gathered his courage and got the answer right then…

“Yeah, see you.”

...but he didn’t.

And so she gave him a smile and a little wave, then happily returned to her stylist.

“See you tomorrow, Y/N!”

“See you, Annie!” Y/N said as she put the rest of her things into her tote bag. Her new driver had got her schedule mixed up, and so she had to wait here for another half an hour. She was in no rush. It had been a light first day, and she’d had a fun time getting to know the new cast members and catching up with old friends.

She sat on the sofa in the lobby, legs crossed, texting her best friend about her day. She’d purposely left out the short off-screen conversation with Harry, and her best friend didn’t even bother to ask. In their world, he didn’t exist, and his name was censored in every conversation like a curse word that was even worse than ‘cunt’. Nevertheless, she didn’t hate him anymore. She was doing just fine on her own, being busy with her career, and she’d been in a happy relationship after her fall out with him.

She and the guy, a model, had broken up two weeks ago due to long distance and some differences that they could not change. They had ended on good terms and decided to stay friends. They said you could only stay friends with your ex when you still had feelings for each other, or you had never loved each other that much in the first place. For her, it was probably the latter. Her previous relationship had been more platonic than romantic, apparently. So she had nothing but the best to say about him.

As she was going through her camera roll, just reminiscing about the past, she heard footsteps approaching and looked up to find Harry. He offered a smile and gestured to the spot beside her on the sofa. “May I sit here? My ride is late.”

“Yeah, sure.” She hurriedly scooted over.

“Good job today,” he said. “You were great.”

“Thanks, so were you.” She smiled, and they both looked away at the same time. This was so awkward. She hated small talk. She’d never had to have small talk with Harry. Conversations with him used to be so easy and natural and silly. Whatever this was, it wasn’t them.

“Can we just be normal?”

At first, Y/N thought she’d been the one who’d said it, so when she realised it’d been Harry, she was speechless.

He swallowed and sat a bit straighter, still not looking at her. “I don’t want us to be weird and awkward.”

“Okay,” she said.

He cleared his throat. “Wanna try again?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Okay, not to sound like an ass but when Joey kept forgetting his lines, I was so pissed off, I could throw a chair at the wall.”

“Right?!” exclaimed Y/N, feeling free to have finally broken out of her shell. “Like, he doesn’t even have many lines. I know he’s new but damn...you can’t get far if you don’t learn your goddamn lines.”

Harry shook with laughter. “Oh God, we sound like dicks, don’t we?”

“Maybe.” Y/N laughed, covering her mouth. “But you know what? We can’t be nice in this industry. It’s impossible.”

“Shhh, if someone heard this, we would be into big trouble.”

“Oh please, I’ve had worse articles written about me than ‘Y/N speaks facts about her lazy co-star’.”

Harry tossed his head back and cackled. “The worst one I’ve got this week was ‘Harry Styles hates therapists.’”

“What?!” Y/N gasped. “No way! That’s so stupid!”

“Right?” Harry rolled his eyes. “I could get all my therapists to speak up for me but I’m kinda immune to bullshit now.”

“Therapists? Like plural?”

“Yeah, one in every city.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah.”

Y/N rubbed her hands onto her legs. “Rough year?”

Harry’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as he leaned back. “You have no idea.” Then he swept his hair out of his eyes, sucked in a breath, and finally looked at her. “I wish I could have talked to you, though.”

She bit her tongue, knowing what she was about to say next would disappoint her best friend so much, but she had to. “So do I.”

Harry looked taken aback before his lips curled into a smile. “It’s silly, isn’t it? I haven’t talked to you in a year, and I feel like I know everything that’s happened to you except that I don’t.”

What he’d just said might make no sense for most people, but Y/N knew exactly what he meant. She nodded and wetted her lip. “You only know as much as everyone else does.”

“Yeah, I got updates on you from the news and our friends.”

“Same.” Y/N smiled back. “I hate how they write articles about your new haircut but not mine.”

“I like your new hair colour.”

“Thanks. I like your new car.”

Then they both burst out laughing. It was fun and also a little bit strange that Y/N didn’t feel the same anxiety talking to him as she used to. It must be because they had grown and were now meeting again as better people.

“Damn, my ride's here,” Y/N said as she read the text from her driver. “I gotta go now.”

“Oh, okay.” Harry stood up and followed Y/N to the entrance. “Hey, just wondering--”

“Yeah?”

“Am I...am I still blocked?” He looked a bit flustered as she tilted her head and squinted her eyes. “On your phone. Because I remember you having my number blocked--”

“I unblocked you on your birthday.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah.” Y/N shrugged. “I should’ve sent you a happy birthday text but...I didn’t want your girlfriend to get the wrong ideas.”

“My ex.”

“Yeah, I know.”

They smiled at each other one last time before saying goodbye. Y/N knew it was silly, but she was hoping he would go after her.

Ding.

A notification popped up when she was in the car. She was almost home, and it was from Harry’s number. He’d sent her a link with a message that said, “Hope you like it :)”.

Curious, she tapped on it and was directed to an audio file titled ‘Track 5’. The upload date was last year. About two weeks after their short conversation at the Grammys.

Hurriedly, she fumbled inside her bag for her iPods and put it on before she pressed play.

“Hey, Jeff, I couldn’t sleep so I wrote this song. Listen and let me know if it should go on the album.”

Then came the piano intro. It sounded good, so Y/N wondered how it hadn’t ended up on his last album.

But when he started to sing...

We ended a while ago Your friends are mine, you know, I know You've moved on, found someone new One more guy who brings out the better in you

And I thought my heart was detached From all the sunlight of our past But he’s so nice, he’s so funny Does he mean you forgot about me?

Oh, I hope you're happy But not like how you were with me I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

And does he tell you you’re the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen? An eternal love bullshit he might not even mean Remember when you were with me I meant it when you heard it first from me

And now I'm pickin' him apart Like cuttin' him down will make you miss my wretched heart But he’s charming, he looks kind He probably gives you butterflies

I hope you're happy But not like how you were with me I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better

I hope you're happy I wish you all the best, really Say you love him, baby Just not like you loved me And think of me fondly when your hands are on him I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

The song was for her. He’d written it when her new relationship had gone public. Y/N sat there, staring blankly ahead until the honking of a car tore open her inner peace, and reality came crashing back in. The driver dropped her off at her house. Instead of going inside, she stood on her front steps and replayed the song one more time. When it ended, she decided to text him: Why didn’t this make it to the album?

She didn’t know where he was now, but it showed ‘typing’ in less than a second, as if he’d been waiting in their chat since he’d sent that link.

You would’ve hated me, Y/N.

True, she replied. Still, I would’ve loved the song lowkey. And added, I love it btw.

He took so long to type that it was driving her crazy. She flopped down on the concrete stair with her phone clutched in her hands, her heart thundering against her ribcage. Anxiety popped like a balloon when his message appeared: Were you happier?

She reread it again and again.

No.

I wasn’t either, he responded. I kept getting deja vu.

Ha, nice reference.

That song is my guilty pleasure. Love listening to you roasting me on loop.

That last message made Y/N bury her face into her palm and giggle like a fool. She thought for a second and wrote: I could come roast you in person now if that’s what you prefer. I think we’ve never had a proper roasting.

Can we meet, Y/N? Or are you busy now?

No, not busy.

Great, I’ll pick you up.

Just tell me where, she responded with a smile on her face. I got my drivers license now :)

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles writing #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles angst #harry styles one shot #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles fic

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thefreakydeaky · 4 years

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Thunder Kiss ‘66

Characters: John Winchester x Reader

Summary: You witness your co-worker being murdered by a monster. You do your best to protect yourself.As luck would have it, a mysterious stranger intervines.John Winchester saves you from the ghoul, but who will save you from John Winchester?

Warning: Language, S m u t , Canon Typical Gore

One Shot

Word Count: 2,364

“What’s your name, Darlin’?” Your tall handsome savior asked.

Such a mundane question in the wake of heart-stopping terror and disturbing violence felt inconceivable.

”Y/N .” You heard yourself respond.

Kind eyes of molten gold and olive green gazed into yours.You were transfixed.

“That’s a beautiful name.” He commented leading you calmly through the room with his hand at the small of your back.

“What’s your name?”Your voice sounded steadier than you felt, but if he noticed how shaken up you were, he didn’t show it.

“Name’s John.John Winchester.” He told you with a disarming grin.

“How did you know how to stop them? I tried everything.I even stabbed it, but it kept coming.”You rambled.

The shock of what you had witnessed was starting to wear off.He sighed but didn’t stop moving.

“It’s complicated.How about right now we just focus on getting you outta here?” He suggested leading you out the back door.

The old pick up rumbled loudly down Highway 290. It wasn’t until he pulled into the parking lot of a sleazy looking motel that you started to worry.

Holy shit!

You didn’t know this man.You didn’t know what he was capable of. Well…that wasn’t entirely true.You knew he was capable of killing those things whatever they were.

Oh Great!A+ decision making skills, Y/N!

He put it in park and turned watching you contemplatively for a quiet moment.

O-kay don’t panic don’t panic don’t-

“So, normally I don’t do this.I get in, kill the evil son’s of bitches, and then get the hell out of town, but… I gotta tell you, in all my years doing this, I never seen a civi that could handle themselves that well against a monster.”

“A what?”

“A monster.A ghoul.”He repeated solemnly.

“They are creatures that generally hang around grave yards feeding on the flesh of the dead but when they seek vengeance like that particular monster, there’s no telling.”

“Feed…on the flesh…of the dead?”

He nodded giving you a look that made your cheeks burn.

“You know, I think we should have this conversation after we get a couple of drinks in you.”

So many questions came to mind that you hardly had time to think about them before a new one came up.

Was this real? Was he crazy? Were you?

The thing that attacked you had seemed very real. A “ghoul” he’d called it.

“You, uh, might wanna get cleaned up.” He told you interrupting your thoughts.And there it was again, that charming grin.

“Mhmmm” You murmured helpless against the pair of warm hazel eyes trained on yours.

His tongue licked lightly at the corner of his mouth and your eyes followed the movement. John leaned in close.You didn’t move away.His face was just inches from yours. You leaned forward. The popping sound of the lock on the passenger door being pulled up snapped you out of your reverie.

“You feelin’ okay?” He asked amused.

“I feel fine.”You grumbled making to get out of the truck.

You followed him to his motel room watching as he unlocked the door with large steady hands. You berated yourself internally for thinking of the many ways a man like him might put such capable hands to use.

“Bathroom’s right over there, Kid.”

He gestured to the door on your left.You cringed at the appellation, but ducked into the bathroom anyway closing the door behind you.

What you saw in the mirror made you gasp.Not in your worst nightmares had you ever seen yourself so disheveled.There were blood stains all over your clothes.Drying patches of it on your arms, neck, and face.You even had bloody bits and pieces of ghoul in your hair.Turning away from the mirror, You peeled off your top and shimmied out of your ripped up clothing. You kicked your ruined clothes into a pile before getting into the shower.

Under the warm water, you began to feel good again.The more you scrubbed the better you felt. By the time you were done, you were no longer freaking out.You turned off the water stepping out of the tub to find that John had taken away the pile of ruined clothes and left you a towel.

You rang your hair out over the sink and did your best to dry it with the towel.Your reflection looked the same way it had before you left the house that morning, but You didn’t feel like the same person.

You considered the facts.Something evil had walked into the store today and brutally murdered your co-worker.If John Winchester hadn’t come in to help you when he did, you wouldn’t be alive.You glanced down at the towel in your hand contemplatively and your reflection seemed to agree with the idea.Carefully folding in the edge,you wrapped the towel around you.

He was stepping back into the room when you opened the door. You didn’t say anything just watched him close the door behind him, a brown paper bag in his hand.His eyes met yours for the briefest moment before he noticed how little you were wearing. Then he got caught up taking in the rest of you.His eyes moved slowly down your body.You noticed his throat work as he swallowed, his jaw tightening almost imperceptibly.

“Enjoy your shower?”John inquired freeing a bottle of low grade whisky from the bag and setting it on the table.

“Yes.” You replied taking a seat. “I did.”

“I can lend you a shirt.” He poured three fingers of whiskey into each of the cheap plastic cups he had set on the table.

”Oh, I don't mind.” You winked picking up the small white cup.

He sat down in the chair opposite you and took a sip regarding you thoughtfully.

“That so?” He drawled meeting your gaze.

It was a challenge.You didn’t dare look away.You had a feeling that John Winchester had an aversion to weakness and the last thing you wanted was for him to size you up and find you lacking.However, his unwavering stare was beginning to make you feel self conscious.You took a sip of the honey colored liquor for courage.

“Why are you making it so hard for me, Kid?” He sounded almost strained.

“It’s Y/N.” You reminded him taking another sip.

He took a deep breath and smiled.

“I’m trying to do the right thing here,Y/N.”

Ordinarily a statement like that would be reason enough for you to back down, but your towel had slipped lower during the conversation and John’s eyes were no longer on yours when he spoke.

“And what exactly is the right thing, John?”You knew full well that you had the upper hand.

“Get you some clothes, drop you off at your place.”

“Mmm...I get the feeling you aren’t all that keen on that idea.”

“I saved your life.All that’s left for me to do is give you a ride home.”He seemed torn, but from the way his gaze kept traveling from your lips to your cleavage You knew it wasn’t much of a battle.

”Or I could spend the night thanking you for saving my life.”

“I’d be taking advantage.”

“No. You wouldn’t.”

“This conversation is getting old fast, Kid.” He sounded as frustrated as You felt.

“So it’s back to ‘kid’ now?”

“By comparison.” He sighed running his hand over his eyes wearily.

You put the cup back on the table and stood.

“That’s not true.”You told him taking off the towel and letting it drop to the ground.

You heard a sharp in take of breath and watched his expression change.His eyes roamed over your figure, pupils blown wide with desire.Without another word, You climbed into his lap and pressed your lips to his.His hands were on you in an instant kneading and caressing your hips and ass.

“Fuck.” He cursed gruffly.“How old are you?”

“Old enough.” You murmured against his lips.

“That’s what they all say.”He contested breaking the kiss.

You huffed offended at the implication.

“Answer the question.” The deep growl of his voice sent shivers down your spine.

After a moment's hesitation you leaned in and whispered your answer in his ear.

“Jesus.” John muttered palming your breast in his large warm hand. "You are younger than my youngest son."

"Does that really bother you?"

"Not nearly as much as it should."

You kissed and nibbled at his neck.

He groaned, one hand in your hair the other massaging your breast.

You tugged the button up shirt he had on down his shoulders.

John kissed you roughly almost sloppily.You could feel his insistent erection against the back of your thigh begging for attention and it thrilled you.Men like John Winchester didn’t need much in their lives to get by, but tonight he needed you.Warmth bloomed in your chest at the thought.

You ran your hands over the muscles of his back, his biceps and reveled in the simple pleasure of skin to skin contact.

“You’re nothin’ but trouble, you know that?” He murmured against your collar bone.

You ran your fingers through his hair and sighed.

He kissed your breast lightly.His tongue slipped out running over your nipple slow and tantalizing.

“Damn, you taste good.” His warm breath against your damp skin sent a little wave of pleasure rolling down your body.

You began kneading his erection through the rough fabric of his jeans and ground your ass against the hard length.The teasing didn’t stop. John continued nibbling, licking, sucking on your nipples and breasts until your breathing became ragged.Your pussy was almost wet enough to drip.You leaned back just enough to unbutton his pants and slide down the zipper freeing his thick cock from his jeans.You made to mount him, loving the thick ridged length of his dick already.You felt like you were falling.You gasped as he tipped you forward the only thing holding you in place, his arm around your waist.

“I’m not that kind of man.” He drawled.

“Wh-wha?” You sputtered as he lay you down on the mattress.

“I am always on top.” He growled as he sank into you.

“Haaa…aah..” You became incoherent then.

Every sound he drew out of you was a testimony to the pleasure he elicited with each and every thrust.When you thought you might reach orgasm, you began to push your hips up against his. John held you down firmly to stop you.

“Not yet.” His gruff voice, and mesmerizing eyes filled with hunger were very nearly your undoing.To your surprise, he drew back, pulling out of you. You groaned in disappointment.

“I-I won’t do it again.” Your voice sounded whiny and you hated it, but You needed him. The whisper of a smile passed across his lips as he kneeled there between your thighs.

“I wouldn’t leave you like that, Baby.” He assured you.

You looked on as he kissed his way down your stomach and then his head was between your thighs. He kissed you wetly, open mouthed and you whimpered at the delectable sensation. He licked and sucked at the swollen skin and this time he didn’t pull away when you grinded yourself against his tongue.

“Mmmm” He hummed as if he’d never tasted anything as good as you. John sucked on your clitoris and You lost yourself. A tide of euphoria drowned you in blissful feelings.

“Fuck, John, oh John.” You cried out holding onto his hands where they were gripping your thighs.

You lay there drunk on him and the way he made you feel as he made his way back up your body.Your eyes stayed on his as he thrust back into you seeking his pleasure now.His thick cock slid into you a little more easily than it had before, your cum coating his shaft.He leaned down and kissed you, his tongue imitating the movements of your lower bodies only served to re-ignite the embers of your ardent desire for him. Your thighs trembled as he quickened the pace, fucking you in earnest. The incredibly arousing sound of his balls slapping against your ass drew a whimper from your throat.

“Is this what you wanted, sweetheart? My cock deep in this nice tight pussy?” His deep voice sent shivers through you.

He pulled out just to sink back in, rolling his hips.

“Nnn…yes.” You moaned not caring how needy you sounded this time.“God, yes.”

John thrust deeper into you making you cry out and you couldn’t hold back any longer.Your walls clenched tightly around his dick as a second orgasm, rocked you, taking you to a place of exquisite ecstasy.He called your name as he came.You watched in a daze as he reached his peak cumming deep inside you, leaving you feeling wondrously full.

“Why am I trouble?” You asked later that night, as you lay tangled together beneath the thin bed sheet.

“What?” He murmured sleepily.

“You said I was nothing but trouble, why?” You persisted running your fingers down his arm and back up to his shoulder in a lazy caress.

“What it means, is that you’re the keepin’ kind and a hunter’s got a short life span.” He replied letting out a yawn.

“What does that mean for me?” You wondered out loud.

“Don’t worry about tomorrow, Kid.”He told you. "Trust me.It's nights like this that make life worth living."

You weren't entirely sure what he meant. John kissed the top of your head and held you close. You drifted to sleep, clinging to the notion that you would never forget John Winchester and the night you had spent together.

#john winchester #John Winchester x Plus Size Reader #John Winchester x Reader #jeffrey dean morgan #Supernatural

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: 💀👑 having a party Jimmy: Where's my handwritten 💌? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: not enough 🩸 Janis: 💔 Janis: [pic of jelly shots and other basic party tings taking up cali's fridge] Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: if you ain't fucked with them, I'm dumping you Janis: it's like you don't know me at all 😱😏 Jimmy: Oi, it's a secret, that Janis: not tweeted it yet, we're safe Jimmy: tah, Judy Jimmy: what's the 👗👠 then? Janis: 🤔 Janis: it's either taking their 'style', lack of a better word, and doing it better, 'cos duh Janis: OR doing the anti-them so hard she'll be 😡 the second we walk in Jimmy: so do you want me in 👗👠 or looking like I slept in the park with nowt but a 🔪 and an empty wallet? Janis: both hot 🔥 Janis: probably hates poors slightly more than crossdressers 💙 Jimmy: have I got time to get a vote labour face tattoo? Janis: only if it's misspelled 💘 Jimmy: Duh Jimmy: trying to work out what 🎨 I could get to show I hate lawyers Jimmy: no win no fee finger tats? Janis: 😂 Janis: full of the 🥇💡s today Jimmy: downside being Ian might reckon it's 🥇💡 an' all, I'd have to ❌ 'em out or cover 'em up with something that'll get him fuming before he realises Jimmy: or put the 👗👠 on as well as Janis: that'll do it Janis: dress on a lad is still a dress on a lad, even if it's red Jimmy: getting into a 🥊 with him would only help the cause, nowt more common than a black eye and chipped tooth Janis: not had enough time for my fake pillow baby to be showing, WELL gutted 😭 Jimmy: can make the announcement on the night 🍾 be a lovely surprise for her Janis: godmother, anyone? 🙊 Jimmy: only right after we conceived it in her bunk 💕 Janis: solid HILARIOUS lad speech story, hun 👌 Jimmy: especially when I add in that I ain't sure and it could've been her desk in computer science 😘 Jimmy: oh the #bants Janis: me, tryna remember that time 💭👀 Jimmy: you and sir both Jimmy: draw the line at fake naming it after her though, what's her dad called? Janis: who knows Janis: Mike, John, Peter, Paul etc etc Jimmy: UGH fine we'll call the kid Jeremy Janis: gonna start doing #babytaylor updates around the 🕞 Jimmy: same Janis: graphic details of the abortion, good times, like Jimmy: but the #datenight in hell after is gonna be 🔥 soooooooooo Janis: 💁 #hatersgonnahate #dontmumshameme #howtolosethepregnancypounds Jimmy: 😏 Janis: she lives ages from both of us so where do you wanna meet? Jimmy: middle? Janis: his MIND 🤤 Jimmy: it don't matter to me actually now your ankle's loads better and I ain't gotta carry you the whole way Janis: said as if that were my preference, ever Janis: or that I'm well fat Jimmy: you were warned I'm 👴 and on death's door, mate Jimmy: I've had my 😭 about it but crack on with yours Janis: what else can be said about your stamina at this point, eh Janis: my cross to bear Jimmy: nowt 'cause I can't be all ears for your fake complaints after being deafened by your real praise Janis: if you're so gutted, I can promise you'll never 🔊 it again Jimmy: can you? doubt that Janis: see how easy Jimmy: alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: come here then Janis: where? Jimmy: where am I round the 🕞 Janis: UGH, don't remind me Janis: my biggest fake complaint 🥺 Jimmy: baby Janis: NEVER see you Jimmy: but I'm ALWAYS 💭💕 about you Janis: that'll be why Mia don't tip 💅 Jimmy: yeah that's TOTALLY the reason Janis: if you're THAT distracted how can you possibly remember how to make a decent latte?! Janis: if you're THAT distracted how can you possibly remember how to make a decent latte?! Jimmy: 1. there's no such thing as a decent latte 2. I could have you up on the counter and still make whatever ☕ dickheads want Janis: 1. okay got me there 2. not gonna have me there 'cos I'm nowhere near town so 💔 Jimmy: like I said ALWAYS 💭💕 Jimmy: and always fucking here 🕞 Janis: you're saying got time for that bus journey but how do I know it'd be worth it? Jimmy: I didn't promise to go mute on you for a start Janis: yeah? Jimmy: got loads to say, me Jimmy: [🔥 sext because why not] Janis: it's like that then Jimmy: it's however you like, you know that Janis: okay Janis: I want to see you Jimmy: okay Jimmy: I want you here Janis: I feel it Jimmy: I can promise you will Janis: you haven't forgotten just how long this bus ride takes, have you? Jimmy: no Janis: so you're being mean to me on purpose Jimmy: you started it by taking the piss out of my stamina Jimmy: this is just me showing you how much I've got Janis: but I'm already so Jimmy: and what I'm sitting here dead unfazed, do you reckon? Janis: I don't Janis: I think about you too, for real Jimmy: do you? Janis: yeah Janis: if I was good with words I could tell you about it but Jimmy: it's alright, you can show me Janis: when I'm with you, yeah Janis: what about all the times I'm not? Jimmy: you're decent enough at leaving reminders, I think I'll live Janis: you might Jimmy: how full's your 🚍 gonna be? Janis: this time? Janis: 👻town Jimmy: nowt to worry about then, is there? Janis: ? Jimmy: a 💣 could go off and who's about to see or hear it Jimmy: just us Janis: and the driver Jimmy: he'll be chatting to his mate or missus like the one before Jimmy: and you're gonna be 🔇 so you said Janis: 🤏 rude I'm now not that distracting at all, apparently but Janis: okay Jimmy: if he's that into it he can be our 3rd Janis: I'd ask but 😶 Jimmy: it'll go without saying, don't worry Janis: go on then Janis: you have to fill in the silence and tell me what you really think about me 💭💕 Jimmy: [a voice memo to make it even more of a #mood and to make me lol cos do you ever do any work boy] Janis: has anyone ever told you your voice isn't a total turn-off Jimmy: it ain't a compliment that usually gets chucked at me Janis: they're stupid then Janis: more than I reckoned Jimmy: don't talk to them, do I? Jimmy: just you Janis: oh yeah, suppose not Janis: count myself 🍀 Jimmy: dunno about that but you're alright to 🗨 to Janis: known worse, like Jimmy: tah very much Janis: you don't like compliments Jimmy: I never said that Jimmy: I don't know how to take 'em Jimmy: same as you Janis: it's when it's Janis: if you just said the same shit everyone says, it wouldn't even register Janis: but you ain't ever that predictable Jimmy: you're not a lass that's gonna get bog standard bollocks out of me Jimmy: 🥇 muse Janis: I can handle that Janis: you're pretty talented Jimmy: if you're the masterpiece, how could I fuck that up? Jimmy: barely have to do owt for it to be art Janis: be surprised how a lad can, 'cept not at all Jimmy: letdowns don't surprise me, whoever they're off 🌧 remember Jimmy: have had and have done loads, it's why the 😒 face fits Janis: you're far from a letdown to me, where it counts, like Janis: have that for free Jimmy: don't count for much when it's been days Jimmy: even Ian can manage to keep a lass about for that long sometimes Jimmy: but alright Janis: well it's all I've got Janis: and as I said, had worse Janis: you're free to disappoint me any time Jimmy: yeah, me an' all, but no need for me to chuck all the comparisons to my shit ex at you and pretend it'll do for a compliment Jimmy: or pretend that I wanna disappoint you Janis: It don't matter, we know it's inevitable but we also know we don't need to think about that right now Jimmy: it matters a bit Janis: not enough that we can do fuck all about it Jimmy: I just Janis: me too Jimmy: it ain't fair that you can 🧠📖 Janis: can't really Janis: could've agreed to anything there but fuck it, why not Jimmy: that's why I like you Janis: obviously Janis: whole plan hinges on it Jimmy: nowt to do with how fit and mysterious you are Janis: 🤏 tah Jimmy: Oi, I've been telling you how fit you are from day one Janis: don't stop Jimmy: not til it actually 💀💀💀s me Jimmy: how ain't there bollocks rumours about you being a model or an actress an' all? Janis: that'd be 😤💚 not 🤤💖 Janis: anyway, the school trip before the last, some scout came up to me and I thought the gals might actually murder her, or drown her with their 😭😭😭😭😭 Jimmy: right, it's different for lasses, so I've heard off you loads of times now Janis: and lads lack the imagination, not the kind of model or actress they're arsed about Jimmy: and that were why you didn't wanna do it then? Janis: didn't really have a chance, Lucas told her it was highly inappropriate to approach a child on a school trip, code for 'hands-off she's mine' 🙄 Jimmy: I get it, you can only find out who people are when I read their tits and tell you Janis: obviously Janis: got the card if you really wanna kickstart your career Jimmy: I just dunno why you don't, it'd be 💰💰 and a 💀👑 fuck you Janis: yeah but it's complicated Jimmy: which bit? the walk or the pout? Janis: very funny, dickhead Janis: 🥇 muse, so I've been told Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: why wouldn't you wanna get the fuck out of here? Janis: there's no guarantee that would happen Janis: might never get booked, or whatever the fuck they call it Jimmy: alright, you're scared of looking a twat Jimmy: but you're never getting booked if your name ain't down Jimmy: don't tell anyone you 🖋🩸 if nowt happens Janis: we've got well distracted from the point here anyway Jimmy: the new point is, stop being a selfish prick and think how 🥇 it'd make me look to have a model girlfriend, tah very much Janis: 🙄😏 you're the fucking worst Jimmy: kindly crack on 'cause I ain't gonna be about forever, like Janis: 👴 Jimmy: ✈👋 or ⚰🌹 either'll do Janis: know which one you meant Jimmy: it weren't me saying you can't 🧠📖 Janis: no brain to pick, you 💘 Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: yeah alright, that lass who tried to snatch you off the school trip'd know more than me but I still reckon you'd be good Janis: shh Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: meant to be you on mute though Janis: my point about the point exactly Janis: make it hard for me to speak in a fun way, dickhead Jimmy: [giving her pics because she gave him that glorious dressing room selfie and we know he looks good whenever even when he's supposed to be working lol] Janis: Jesus, boy Janis: how do you just look like that Jimmy: #notamodelbutmyfakegirfriendis Janis: definitely not doing it so you have a 🔥 # Jimmy: but LITERALLY what other reason is there???!! 😱😱 #s are EVERYTHING babe Janis: I know, hardest decision I've ever had to make Jimmy: I'm leaving now, I just think Jimmy: you're so Jimmy: *it Janis: I reckon you are too Janis: like Janis: normal lads don't look like you do Jimmy: I can't fake that hard it being a northern thing Jimmy: 💔 if that means my parents weren't shit at everything Janis: same but that ain't news to me Janis: people LOVE being vocal about how fit my mum is Jimmy: bit rude of everyone to fake Grace being your twin when she's really adopted 🎻 Janis: she looks like my dad's mum and she's devastated, is a gutting comparison however you slice it Jimmy: I should've done more 🎻🎻 Jimmy: I get it, I look like Ian so every other dickhead reckons Janis: 🤏 rude of you to say he weren't fit but I'll allow it Jimmy: 🤏💔 he's my biological father 🤞 the other two can still cut and run Janis: seen your socials that ain't got me in, the kid looks like a small clone of you so 🌧 Jimmy: 💰 on my sister then Janis: usually the middle child Jimmy: she's got his 😡 and it can't be nurture as he don't fucking do none so Jimmy: that's all of us fucked Janis: shit, ain't it Janis: couple my sisters escaped having the same dad but my ma's got terrible taste so theirs weren't no better 💔 Jimmy: how many do you have? Janis: 4 sisters and a brother Jimmy: bet he were 💔 growing up Janis: yeah we made him well gay Jimmy: don't @iantaylor8 Janis: he ain't about to gay bash so it's alright Janis: about to have a gaybie though so pop off on that one Jimmy: he'd be well chuffed to hear he can still have grandkids to bully even though he reckons we're all gay Janis: weird flex on your nature and nurture there, mate Jimmy: duh it's MY fault not his Jimmy: couldn't keep my ex from sleeping with half the north 'cause I obvs weren't and turned them onto a gay lifestyle while I wasn't at it 🙄 Jimmy: #myinfluence Janis: Is Bill your dad? Janis: the drama, the top class storytelling 👌👏 Jimmy: 🤞 you've still got that quill you borrowed Janis: if you fancy it, I'll come about and loudly let him know how gay you ain't Jimmy: he'd have to be about for that plan to work Jimmy: if we held our breath we wouldn't need the 💀💀💀 pact Janis: probably can't turn up at his workplace, yeah, bit weird Jimmy: ☕ delivery Jimmy: just brought my muse so I can do top latte art Janis: unrelated but where is the nearest storage cupboard, tah Jimmy: nowt to see here but everything to hear soz Jimmy: you'd have to break your vow of silence any road, can't have that Janis: not a nun, not an eternal vow Janis: just 'til you admit you like hearing it Jimmy: don't need to tell me on either count Jimmy: and I never denied that I like hearing you Janis: you were taking the piss Janis: so now you're gonna have to be well nice before I even consider it Janis: which is very 💔 for me 'cos I like making noise for you Jimmy: I've been SO nice since Janis: could you be nicer? 🤔 Jimmy: you tell me Jimmy: how can I? Janis: tell me what we're going to do at this party Jimmy: whose house is it at? Janis: #2 Jimmy: we'll find her fave bathroom then, she's bound to spend more time there than owt else Jimmy: ruin it for her Janis: anything that keeps her off the 🚽 is a 🏆 for us Jimmy: we can work out where her 🛏 is after Janis: probably four-poster Jimmy: probably be pretty hard to break Jimmy: but I'm up for the challenge if you are Janis: of course Janis: who am I? Jimmy: you're Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: you're fucking Janis: so good Jimmy: you Janis: you you you Jimmy: if it's owt to do with me it'll be 'cause you've inspired me Janis: I'll take that Jimmy: do Jimmy: it's right Janis: I'm already bored of being on this bus Jimmy: it takes the piss but I need to see you Janis: I want it too Janis: takes the piss I live in the middle of nowhere Jimmy: I'll move you in when Jeremy's born, you're alright Janis: #1 dad Janis: get your own mug Jimmy: *🏆 Janis: bit demanding, babe Jimmy: what kind of dad can I be if I don't have nowt to put my 🥃 in? Jimmy: size matters, babe Janis: 😏 Janis: join you once he thing is out Janis: only 🍷🍷 Jimmy: @ Helena for 💊 Jimmy: your back will be killing you Janis: if he's got a head size of yours, I'll 💀💀💀 Jimmy: I'll 🔪 it out for you, what could be more #goals? Janis: basically a doctor 😍 Jimmy: wasted on just giving 🧽 baths, me Janis: not quite bubbles and 🍾 but Jimmy: when we get to the party, you can have that Janis: we can? Jimmy: if you want Janis: what do you want? Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: one you never answer Jimmy: one you know the answer to Janis: no Jimmy: yeah Janis: 😡 Jimmy: I want you, dickhead Jimmy: I've said it before Janis: not a 🚨⛓ to wanna hear it Jimmy: 💔 love a crime, keeps me in a job Janis: I'll commit another, hang on Jimmy: 😍 Janis: pretty sure how you're tryna make me feel in public is illegal Jimmy: 🚔'd quicker than the 🚍 Jimmy: and hang on, isn't it working? Janis: if only Janis: it's not not working, but it'd work better if you were here Jimmy: brb just gotta change uniforms 👮🚔🚨 Jimmy: be with you in a sec Janis: love a chase scene Jimmy: 💕 Janis: reckon this driver is a new boy too Janis: going well slow Jimmy: Oi don't lump me in with him Janis: you can still be 🍦 of the month, it's okay Jimmy: is it? first my stamina gets slagged off now it's my tempo Jimmy: gonna need a complaints 🗑 if you keep on Janis: babe Jimmy: soz I didn't ask you to fake 👰💍🤵 or 🤰 on day one, like Jimmy: dead slow, me 👻💔 Janis: like, do you even fake like me, OMG Jimmy: busted Jimmy: reckon you're a bit of a dickhead tbh Janis: 😱😱😱 Janis: brb, throwing myself under this bus Janis: probably going too slow to kill me, THANKS Jimmy: see, what's to like, can't even stick to the plan, you Janis: nu-uh Janis: 'cos I'm NOT dying, but you'll show and think I have and go and off yourself Jimmy: 🤏 Janis: don't you 🤏 at me Janis: cheek Jimmy: keeping 🔇 is one thing but denying you're dying right now is Jimmy: I know you are Jimmy: me an' all Janis: it's very inconvenient Janis: wanting you this much Jimmy: weren't part of the plan Janis: exactly Jimmy: but Janis: too late to stop ourselves now Jimmy: not if you want to Janis: I don't Janis: you know that Jimmy: Alright Janis: it is alright, ain't it Jimmy: with me Janis: you're hot, I'm hot, why wouldn't we Jimmy: I'm not gonna give you a list of why it's a 🥉💡 to do this Janis: we'll survive Jimmy: I don't care if I don't Jimmy: 💀💀💀 me Janis: hot Jimmy: I am, you are, you just said Janis: but seriously Janis: you are so Jimmy: I get it, you're taking 💀💀💀 me seriously an' all Jimmy: right now Janis: you have no idea Janis: if I was even as half as good with words Janis: you might feel a fraction of how I'm feeling Jimmy: I do though, you're doing a decent job of telling me Jimmy: and making me feel like I Jimmy: could just Janis: just Jimmy: 💀💀💀 here in front of everyone Janis: oh Jimmy: inconvenient, I think that were what you said Janis: on the counter, that's what you said Janis: what I'm 💭 Jimmy: I'm not closing up but when I am next Janis: promise Jimmy: are you asking me if I do or telling me you do? Janis: asking you to Jimmy: I wouldn't have said it else Jimmy: but okay Janis: your fake manager better not show up Jimmy: he gets us to so he don't have to Jimmy: 👻🥊 Janis: just saying, some prior warning if you wanna third Janis: no 💌 for you Jimmy: I'm alright with leaving the rest of the dickheads out Janis: good to know Janis: 'cos I don't really rate anyone else right now so Jimmy: I've never rated anyone 🥇 as you Janis: you don't need to chat me up Janis: I'm there already Jimmy: it's just a bit of honesty Jimmy: nowt to worry about Janis: you mean it? Jimmy: Why would I have bothered to say it if it weren't? Janis: I dunno Jimmy: the answer is that I wouldn't Janis: alright, I believe you Jimmy: 👍 Janis: me too Jimmy: ? Janis: I ain't rated anyone else this hard either Jimmy: it's the accent Janis: maybe Jimmy: when you're going all about modelling you'll hear some right ones Janis: obvs Janis: let you know your final ranking then, like Jimmy: Tah Janis: all the male models will be gay Jimmy: chuck them my number Jimmy: Ian will be well chuffed Janis: can't have that Jimmy: Oi, just 'cause you're the first I've fake dated no need to make sure you're the only Janis: you wanna real date them, don't lie Janis: make you look well 🥇 Jimmy: it weren't enough for you to make your brother gay, I'm next now Janis: yeah, my agenda Janis: if you spread that around, I'll 🥊 you Jimmy: UGH fine, I'll delete the tweet Janis: dick Janis: 😏 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: how old was you, when you got with your ex Jimmy: why? Jimmy: if you're undercover 👮 an' all, I might believe we're #fated Janis: 💔 now I'm #gutted Janis: dunno, just asking Jimmy: 🎻🎻😭 dunno what we're pissing about at if we're not 🖋 in the 💫 Janis: I'll turn 'round, you're right Janis: been fun Jimmy: 👋 Jimmy: good luck getting that pout and walk sorted out Janis: good luck getting a new muse Jimmy: probably just give up 🎨 nbd Janis: yeah right Janis: it's your 💘 and life Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: come be my personal 📸 and I'll think about it Jimmy: no expert but I don't reckon that's how it works Janis: then I don't wanna Jimmy: you don't need me to hold your hand Jimmy: 🏆💪 you Janis: don't like having my photo taken Jimmy: fake it then Jimmy: you've had loads of practice Janis: true Jimmy: I'll take more, you won't give a shit about 📸 by the time I've been dumped Janis: like it when you do Janis: maybe it's your process Jimmy: I'm sure any photographer'd be chuffed to have a crack at doing the same for you Jimmy: won't be as fit and mysterious as me but Jimmy: you'll live Janis: 🙌 Jimmy: 🥇💡 to keep the pull out and pray method in mind, take a bit of the homeland with you Janis: ha ha ha Janis: shut up now Jimmy: not having my fake baby raised by other photographers Janis: doubt I fancy explaining that sentence to anyone else Jimmy: you don't fancy it, nowt of Jimmy: so alright, I'll leave it out Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: it's all bullshit Janis: nothing real about it Jimmy: the 💰💰 is Jimmy: and ✈🌏 Janis: I'm not a Hadid Jimmy: I dunno who that is Janis: it'd be less 🤩 and more, local ads and old lady catalogs Jimmy: and what? Janis: ❌💰💰✈🌏 Janis: ✔ 🚌🚍 Jimmy: ✔🐕🏃 then Janis: so soz it ain't as glamorous Jimmy: I doubt standing about in 👙👗👠 waiting for 📸 is Janis: yeah Janis: stupid Jimmy: like the lasses who'd be 😤💚 or 😭💔 Janis: literal Janis: must not know you can't ask the photographer to facetune you just how you like Janis: the breakdowns they'd have with the proofs would be worth it Jimmy: the Q&A they'd die for but'll never get 'cause you're out Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: hmm Janis: could fake that Jimmy: a career? yeah works for Mia's dad Janis: 😂 Janis: my 🥇 inspo forever Jimmy: obvs Janis: sorted then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: be selling skinny tea on the socials in no time Jimmy: I'm not even gonna ask what the fuck that is Janis: laxatives Janis: 😋 Jimmy: 💀👑 would have to be fake nice to you for the discount Jimmy: not gonna put them on daddy's 💳 Janis: he's all about triggering that gag reflex Jimmy: my 🥇 inspo forever Janis: 😏 Janis: nice Jimmy: I am yeah Jimmy: SUCH a good lad Janis: not gonna disagree Jimmy: but you LOVE disagreeing with me, Judith Janis: maybe I LOVE making you feel like a lad more Jimmy: there's nowt you 💕 more than a challenge, I get it Janis: 'course Janis: far as you know Jimmy: #thickandnorthern Janis: #fitandmysterious Jimmy: don't remind me Janis: what else do you have to think about that's more fun than me? Jimmy: tip jar Janis: 💔😭 damn, can't compete Jimmy: gonna fare piss poor in this fake divorce now you've ❌💰💰✈🌏 Jimmy: gotta do something Janis: never would've got a penny out of me Janis: not a mug Jimmy: with Mia's dad having to choose sides it'll be 💔😭 all round Janis: how it's meant to be, isn't it Janis: get the best #drama out of the break-up Janis: Bill'll be happy, at least Jimmy: he'll be LIVING Jimmy: #ghostbants Janis: wow Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: am I ready to be a dad or what? Janis: you've got the jokes and the fashion, babe Jimmy: working on the body obvs 🍻🥔🥧 Janis: can't wait to be disgusted by you 💘 Jimmy: helping you fake your morning sickness is just the kind of lad I am Janis: don't need 💀👑 tips Jimmy: 💔😭🎻 for her Janis: good thing she's got the gals to look up to her Janis: not #2 she's clearly better at it, but the other ones Jimmy: I hope she goes live the day she does her in for surpassing her at starvation Jimmy: always need 💀💀💀 tips Jimmy: 🤞🥇💡 Janis: not gonna be as good as ours Jimmy: no need for us to make it look like an accident Jimmy: I know what I want Jimmy: not a tease like those pair Janis: if you were gonna lead me on that much Jimmy: you'd actually have to fake it Jimmy: can't have that Janis: shut up Janis: I'm 🥇 Jimmy: but still ain't been scouted as an actress have you, mate? Jimmy: says it all Janis: 'cos no one knows I'm in character Janis: called method acting, look it up dickhead Jimmy: you know I can't read Jimmy: bit bloody insensitive that you keep bringing it up Janis: 💁 Jimmy: be about right Janis: you started it Jimmy: bollocks Janis: you did too Jimmy: I never Janis: 😒 Jimmy: Oi don't be copying me Jimmy: [a 😒 selfie cos he's a nerd] Janis: oi yourself when you know that's a #kinkunlocked Janis: very rude Jimmy: or very nice Janis: you reckon? Jimmy: you don't? Jimmy: could just leave you with your 💭 Janis: subtle hint Jimmy: I know 🏆 Janis: dunno how good a photo you reckon I can take on this bus but Janis: challenge accepted Jimmy: you said you were 🥇 Janis: not at Jimmy: I rate you Janis: only 'cos I know you've got no mates to send 'em to Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: that why you're always trying to set me up on playdates? Janis: 1. when? 2. 'cos I want any nudes I do to get better views? yeah, obvs Jimmy: any teacher or coworker for a start Janis: that's you, you're insatiable Jimmy: tweet that and keep your nudes out of it Janis: blame me for your 😍 Janis: psh Jimmy: it's your fault Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Janis: shh Jimmy: I can't 🔊 me Janis: I can Janis: call it your literary voice Jimmy: I still don't believe you can Janis: why not? Jimmy: experience Janis: what does that mean Jimmy: it means you never 🤐 Janis: 😑 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: you're a twat Jimmy: yeah Janis: literally not talking to you ever again Jimmy: sounds fake that does Janis: you'll see Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: well Jimmy: well you're still 🗨 Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: bye Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: yeah, party Jimmy: funny Janis: is it? Jimmy: what are you gonna do, get straight back on that 🚍 when you come off? Janis: I've got shit I can do, tah for the concern Jimmy: alright Janis: bit of a pisstake, actually Jimmy: what? Janis: you've dragged me out Jimmy: done nowt of the sort Janis: yes you have Jimmy: never made you do owt, real or fake Janis: you know what I mean Jimmy: I know you're being a dickhead Janis: then stop replying if that's what you reckon Jimmy: it ain't me who don't wanna talk Jimmy: that's your party trick Janis: it's me who talks too much Janis: can't have it both ways Jimmy: I didn't say I wanted it a different way Janis: stop being a headfuck Jimmy: stop taking what I say wrong Janis: if I could, I would Jimmy: why can't you? Janis: it's me, not you Janis: you just said it Jimmy: no need to make it sound like the start of a breakup Janis: how would you like me to say it Jimmy: just listen to me, how about that? Jimmy: I like how much you talk Jimmy: I like talking to you Janis: but then I don't know what to say back Janis: it's compliments Jimmy: I don't mind not having any back Jimmy: silence is alright an' all as long as it's not a 💔 one Janis: it's not fair Janis: you should feel uncomfortable and all, like Jimmy: I don't feel anything 👻 perks Janis: yeah Jimmy: I'll stop if it makes you feel better Jimmy: signing only or something Janis: I don't feel anything either, that's what you don't get Jimmy: fuming is a feeling, girl Janis: so's 😒 Janis: but we both know, not really Jimmy: we both know that's just my face Janis: sure Jimmy: go on Janis: you clearly feel shit Janis: and it ain't just me that don't like talking about it, that's as obvious Jimmy: What are you the 💕😭😒 👮? Janis: 🙄 just don't chat shit about my party trick when you're doing the same Jimmy: how am I? Jimmy: I've said loads to you Janis: I've said shit to you too Janis: I'm talking about now Jimmy: what about now? Janis: you're being weird Jimmy: what does that mean? Janis: dunno Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: let's leave it Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I dunno about any of this, alright Jimmy: and I do? Janis: more than me Jimmy: how'd you work that out? Janis: you've done it before Jimmy: no I've not Janis: real is more of a challenge, if anything, not less, so Jimmy: weren't disputing that Janis: so you have Jimmy: no I've not Jimmy: it weren't the same Janis: obviously not Janis: not at the core Janis: but there's still shit you can use Jimmy: oh yeah, hang on I'll crack on and❌ out whatever I can't then it'll be piss easy Janis: I'm not saying that it weren't real with your ex, you don't need to get defensive Jimmy: you're being a massive twat Janis: not trying to Jimmy: leave it, like you said Janis: alright then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Why would you say that? Janis: what part? Jimmy: that there's shit I can use Janis: not like a bad thing Janis: just pointing out it's harder for me Jimmy: how isn't it a bad thing to reckon I can just swap out one lass for another? Janis: if this was real, maybe Janis: just meant experience, like Jimmy: right Janis: I didn't mean it as a diss Jimmy: I'll dry my eyes then, tah for clearing that up Janis: yeah, yeah 😏 Jimmy: ✔ Janis: harsh Jimmy: if this were real, might be Janis: okay Janis: got it Jimmy: I don't reckon you do Janis: you never do Jimmy: alright, it's my fault Jimmy: that sounds real enough Janis: yeah, exactly what I was after Janis: cheers and tah Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: don't you know that and all Jimmy: just asking for the fun of it, me Janis: letdown all 'round then Jimmy: it's been said Janis: not by me Jimmy: ⬆ there Janis: that was the first time Janis: 😭 accordingly Jimmy: I will do Janis: hmm Janis: wasn't very believable tbh babe Jimmy: I'll send you the video when I'm on my next break Janis: cool Jimmy: I'll try and look it 💔😎🚬 Janis: it's your whole brand so Jimmy: won't have to try very hard then Janis: 🙌 Jimmy: 🎬🏆🥇 Janis: post you your oscar Jimmy: bring it to the party Jimmy: save yourself the postage Janis: oh yeah Janis: 👍 one Jimmy: full of top quality 💡 me Janis: reason I keep you about Jimmy: duh Jimmy: see you there then Janis: alright Janis: in a bit Jimmy: 😘 Janis: [better skip to this party when you don't come around gal] Jimmy: [such fun] Jimmy: Oi, where am I headed? Jimmy: [after a bit when she has not replied] Jimmy: very helpful, you Jimmy: are we going to this party or what, dickhead? Jimmy: [after another bit] Jimmy: no? alright then Janis: [I'm thinking this is hours later, so the party is over] Janis: had to go somewhere Janis: say I'm at yours if anyone gives a shit Jimmy: tah for telling me when I could have done something to keep us #goals Jimmy: oh hang on, nah, you didn't Janis: sorry Janis: I'm busy Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: literally always Janis: this is different Jimmy: I don't care Jimmy: I didn't ask Jimmy: it's nowt to do with me, what's to do with me is that you didn't bother to tell me you weren't coming Janis: alright Janis: sorry again Jimmy: now you need me to cover for you, yeah Janis: don't if you can't be bothered Jimmy: I do what I say I'm gonna do Jimmy: you can piss off Janis: yeah well you ain't promised so do what you want Jimmy: I don't need to, it ain't that #deep Jimmy: we have a deal and I pull my weight with it Janis: I'm not wasting battery saying it again Jimmy: you heard me say piss off then Jimmy: on you go Janis: bye, Jimmy Jimmy: 👋 Janis: [that's that on that]

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Janis & Grace

Janis: what's the name of that boy we were partnered with first day Janis: the one when we won? Grace: Craig Grace: why? Janis: that's it Janis: what's his deal, how do you know him? Grace: I literally don't Janis: you don't fuck with him? Grace: idk he's like really shy or whatever Grace: that was the first time I'd ever talked to him & vice versa so Janis: okay, well Mia banged him last night Janis: we saw her going in his room Grace: EW Grace: poor Craig Janis: yeah Janis: where is he Janis: she eat him afterwards, like 🕷 Grace: 🐍 like Grace: ugh he was cute Grace: RIP 🙏 Janis: anyway, thought I'd say 'cos obviously did it to 💔 you so naturally act the opposite to piss her off Janis: we got 📸s Grace: 🙄 duh I am the opposite, he hit me up & I said no thanks, I have the 🗨 Janis: ha Janis: send me that Grace: [does] Janis: 👍 Janis: always handy to have Grace: yeah Janis: not ready yet but can preview it when I'm done Grace: not sure I wanna 👀🍿 her snatching that sweet boy's virginity but thanks Janis: she weren't that careless Janis: thankfully Janis: you'll 👀 Grace: 👌👌 Janis: How's Els? Grace: UM why? What did you do? Janis: Nothing Janis: she fell on her arse, did she not Grace: Oh that Grace: it was no worse than when Asia dropped your bf Grace: how's your ankle? Janis: If I didn't know how thick she was, assume Mia put her up to it Janis: it's annoying Janis: need it to be better for when we get back Grace: literally so many 🐕🐩 to walk, what would you even do? Janis: exactly, can make loads in holidays, those 7 hours free really add up Grace: I'd offer to help but so can I 👶🍼 Janis: I'll survive Janis: take one of Billie's old chairs if necessary, get them to pull me along Grace: 😂😂 Grace: ask Mia what shifts barista boy is down for, maybe he can help Janis: in theory worth it Janis: but she'd probably be weirdly smug about her knowing instead of me Grace: true, just ask him Grace: 🤞💜 Janis: ain't sharing my pay Grace: he'd totally do it for free cos he's SO 😍😍😍 Janis: yeah yeah Janis: that'd fade well fast when faced with 6am and dog shit Grace: Hello?! He gets up earlier than that to serve ☕ and clean bathrooms Janis: we've all got very glamorous lives Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: HIGHKEY should tell Craig to get tested but like I don't want him to think I'm 💔 Grace: ugh Janis: slip a 📝 under his door Janis: - a concerned citizen Grace: so retro Grace: love it Grace: idk if I even have any paper?? Janis: we have to do some exit survey bullshit don't we Grace: do we? Grace: EW Janis: mhmm, already planning my constructive criticism, obvs Grace: @ Mr Lucas what are you even doing here?! SO GROSS Janis: pretty sure he's following me Janis: fair, did cut the two spare ties he brought (??) in half Grace: OMG! you've literally saved someone's life tbh Grace: he's that creepy Janis: reckons we've got full term detention when we get back Janis: so sorry I foiled your plan, definitely wanna spend more alone time with you, sounds good Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: so sorry you're short & gross & single & mad about it, hun Janis: if mum actually makes me go, it'll be my 🩸 on his 🧤 and her 🤲 Grace: she won't even Grace: not for that long Janis: 🤞 Janis: if all he cares about are the holes in all his 🩲 and not finding out what else I did, then she won't be as pissed off as she could be Grace: what else did you do?? Grace: also EW for that visual, babes Janis: 🤫 Janis: you didn't have to touch 'em Grace: you've literally made it even easier for him to touch himself, excuse you Janis: 😂😂 Janis: 📸 that for the online burn book Grace: can he get enough hate to retire please?! so over what a freak he is Janis: ain't we all Grace: maybe he won't be able to take us for any more activities thanks to the wardrobe malfunctions you caused 🤞🤞 Grace: 🙏 Janis: could be his day CANCELLED 👌🍆💦🥴 Grace: STOP Grace: I don't wanna see 🍆💦 applied to him EVER Janis: it'll stop him being so 🤬🤬 on the bus Grace: the breakfasts here are literally gross enough the 1st time around, can you not make it come back up!! Janis: yeah, pretty rough Janis: that'll be why the gals have been skipping, yeah 😏 Grace: 🙄 Grace: Don't even, she wants me to Grace: I don't have the energy to fight with her about it even after eating, sorry not sorry, babes Janis: no wonder she's taken to spreading STIs Janis: wanna take out as many people as she can, that one Grace: idk what goes through her head, 1st barista boy, now Craig Grace: thank god if I was actually 😍 she'd clearly have no idea Janis: he's not the worst looking Grace: barista boy? DUH Grace: we all see your 😍😍😍 hun Janis: I meant Craig and you know it Grace: like I said, he was cute Janis: shame he's now 50% likely to have the clap Grace: I'll write him that note, it's been forever since I did a good deed Grace: 🙏😇 Janis: nan be 💃 Grace: maybe now she'll love me 🤞🖤 Janis: she loves no one but dad and the LORD Janis: allegedly on that last one Grace: as far as she's concerned they were basically the same person so Janis: where was his dad, tbh Janis: maybe he was 1/3 Janis: 2/3 now Janis: 👶🏾👻 Grace: 🤷 Janis: she'll ask the lady at church who can talk to spirits, that's what she was on about to mum last I heard Janis: gonna stay in touch now he's dead, clearly Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: I won't be taking Craig to 🙏 his STI away then Janis: cute date idea Grace: IKR?! Grace: so tragic that we'll both have to miss out Janis: 💔 be a trip to the clinic with Mia instead Grace: more like a solo trip Grace: she's already forgotten that boy Janis: poor, poor David Janis: what fond memories is he gonna have looking back Grace: 🐍🐁 Grace: but that's a v relatable mood, this trip has been the WORST Janis: has it? Grace: not for you, obvs Janis: just remembering that one where you pissed yourself and then cried the whole time Janis: it's at least one up on that Grace: EXCUSE YOU Grace: literally don't bring up that you've ever known me, thanks so much Janis: there's no selling that storyline, sadly Grace: there so is Janis: the name's a dead giveaway Grace: & it still wouldn't be the wildest rumour ever spread Janis: reality is boring in comparison to what they can cook up Grace: duh Janis: go ahead and have a go then Grace: 🤷🤷 there's enough rumours about you & your bf rn Grace: it'd get swallowed faster than poor Craig 💔 Janis: what's the best one you heard then Grace: they're literally all so cringe Janis: go on Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: no thanks Janis: 🎈🎉💩 Grace: it's bad enough I have to 👀 you IRL I'm not trying to gossip in 🗨 too Grace: try Mia or El Grace: they can't get over your 💖 life Janis: 'course they can't Janis: 💔💔 real devastated Grace: mhmm Janis: Ella should be buzzing Janis: but seeing Mia 😢 makes her 😭 Grace: she's too 💔 her fake injury didn't work & yours is real Janis: she can have it Janis: fucking stupid Janis: if this trip weren't a waste of time before Grace: you should totally forget about doing whatever if you wanna get better for hols Janis: doing what? Janis: it's not like we've done anything that taxing Grace: sure but anyway Janis: I can't spend any more time doing nothing Grace: like you said, we already are Janis: you know what I mean Grace: yeah Janis: maybe we'll go do something else Janis: idk Grace: you've got like the perfect excuse not to be under Mr Lucas' 👀 so Janis: I do, might make him join in though Janis: 'cos he hates us Janis: and then I just get bored Grace: OMG stop giving me gross visuals Janis: ?? Grace: anything involving him is like traumatising Grace: he needs to stay on the side lines, thank you Janis: bit harsh Janis: he's northern, not a monster Grace: 😂 but not even Janis: 😏 Grace: whatever Grace: it'll be over soon Janis: the trip? Janis: well observed Grace: duh not gonna kms over breakfast Janis: thought you meant my 💘 Grace: Mia wishes Grace: everyone else will obvs be 💔 Janis: give 'em a good thing Grace: they have so many #s and there'll be more when you dump him Grace: it'll keep everyone busy no matter how many boys she 🐍 and obvs me the freedom to 😢 and wet myself on this trip too so Grace: love that Grace: thanks, babes Grace: 🙌💜🙌 Janis: sounds like a wild time Janis: you are welcome Grace: sure Janis: enjoy your watersports, like Grace: 👌👌

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Savannah & Jac

Savannah: [sends her like a voice memo of a scottish lad talking because she said she likes the accent] Savannah: I found one! Jac: You must've 👀 high and low Jac: I swear I've only met the poshest English kids tonight Savannah: they're like 🦄✨ Savannah: aren't you happy? 😊 I want you to be happy Jac: I'm happy Jac: hungry though, there was not enough food Jac: are you happy? Savannah: if you are, of course I am Jac: I want you to be too Jac: I don't know if I said it Jac: but I'm sorry, for all the time you weren't Savannah: you don't need to, I can tell you're sorry Savannah: even if that makes me feel sad Jac: You don't have to be sad Jac: I'm only sorry about things I should be Savannah: you shouldn't have to feel bad about it any more Savannah: that's not what I want Jac: What do you want? Jac: 🦄✨ allowed Savannah: 🌷 🌹 🌺 🌸 🌼 🌻 Savannah: happy you, like when we first met Savannah: 🌞💛 Jac: Okay Jac: I'll try really hard Jac: I think I can be that here Jac: 🤞 Savannah: I hope so Savannah: I almost didn't come Jac: 👢👗? Jac: Why? Savannah: no, here Savannah: like I almost took a gap year Jac: I'm glad you're here Jac: really glad Savannah: I thought you'd be really upset Savannah: you blocked me Jac: I know Jac: I had to, at the time Jac: it was a solid 70% for myself but I was kinda a mess in that time Jac: I didn't need the opportunity to drunk text you or, god knows what Savannah: would that have been the worst thing ever? Jac: I probably wouldn't have been very nice Jac: upset, like you said Jac: it didn't seem fair, to take that out on you Savannah: I wasn't very nice to you when we last spoke, so I think it's fair Jac: You had some valid points Jac: it was bad timing Jac: you leaving, made it seem more hurtful, you know Savannah: did I? I don't know Savannah: but there's a lot of reasons I shouldn't have left Savannah: I'm sorry for them all Jac: It was so long ago, not to say I don't remember, that would be a pointless lie Jac: this will sound weird and I don't wanna upset you Jac: but when I was talking to my brother about meeting you again, he said, about your mum Jac: I'm really, really sorry, that I didn't know Jac: that I didn't check in on her, or on you and Jac: yeah Savannah: of course he knows Savannah: literally nothing escapes the coffee shop gossip grapevine Jac: it's how he writes such #relatable lyrics, I guess Savannah: there does need to be more songs about divorce, I guess Jac: no one talks enough about how rough it can be, on the kids and the people going through it Jac: nothing after the happily ever after Savannah: she did, I just wasn't listening Jac: when you aren't meant to take sides, but you also are Jac: that's Jac: you were in a really impossible position Jac: they were still your parents, both of them, no matter what went down Savannah: I thought it was all her, being so impossible, so EXTRA, until I lived with him too Jac: Have you been talking more now? Jac: It's never too late Jac: she clearly loves you and Sienna like mad Savannah: It almost was too late Savannah: but we're trying Jac: That must've been so scary Savannah: even when it was happening I was awful to her Savannah: like anyone would go that far for attention Savannah: I didn't learn anything from Isabelle, clearly Jac: You seem like you have Jac: give yourself some credit Jac: you deserve it Savannah: I can't ever make up for what I did to my mum or you or Is Jac: Well, you can forgive yourself for me, seriously Jac: I can't give you that for them Jac: but I know you being a better person and putting your energy into that as opposed to guilt, will not hurt either of them, anyone Jac: and it'll make you feel much better too, in the long run Savannah: you're so nice Savannah: the best person Jac: I'm really not Jac: but you should know that Jac: and I mean it Savannah: well, you are to me Jac: Sav Savannah: you don't believe that I mean it, do you? Jac: I believe you're that nice too Savannah: you're so important Jac: You're special Jac: you know Savannah: I know that you're too special to lose for a second time Jac: That doesn't have to happen Jac: I still want to go on this adventure with you Savannah: me too Jac: Then that's settled Savannah: that makes me feel so happy Savannah: I've really missed you Jac: That's what I'd write on your cast Savannah: would you? 🥰 Jac: Yeah Jac: now you don't have to break any bones to hear it though Savannah: That's probably for the best Jac: You've already got a top rep Savannah: Do you think so? Jac: Yes Jac: you're the prettiest fresher Savannah: No way! You're here Jac: 😊 Jac: I'll happily take 🥈 Savannah: but you seriously deserve 🥇 & you have to take that Jac: You can be my champion and I'll be yours Jac: how's that? Savannah: 😊 okay Jac: what did you think Jac: our first social event Savannah: I didn't meet any 🤴🏾🤴🏼🤴🏿🤴🏻 I think that means I'm supposed to be utterly devastated Jac: just distant relatives with no chin Savannah: 😄 Jac: there were some American girls 😭 in the bathroom over the same thing Savannah: of course there were Jac: neighbours? 😏 Savannah: I swear to god, every girl in my halls is Jac: they had the 🍾🥂 flowing at least, so that's one perk Savannah: 🙌 Savannah: but tomorrow it might not feel like one Jac: the 🥪 are apparently a decent hangover cure Savannah: oh good Savannah: because I don't have anyone to take care of me 😢 Jac: do you miss him? Savannah: no Jac: just having someone ready with the aspirin and OJ? Savannah: I wish someone was there to hold me, but it's fine, because my bed is SO small anyway Jac: I think we'll feel less alone when we settle Jac: I almost did a room share but Jac: casual bit of ptsd Savannah: Oh my god! you do not need to put yourself through that again, baby girl Jac: I'm glad I didn't Jac: could get a total Delia roommate Savannah: 😬 Savannah: how do you think her orientation week is going? Jac: I hope she's found her own group of show-offy tryhards Jac: I told you, so changed, so 👼 Jac: 😂 Savannah: you were always an 👼🏻 Savannah: but that's one of the things I hope doesn't change so I'm glad you're embracing it Jac: The only thing Jac: or Savannah: I said one of Jac: don't mind me, that time of the night where I desperately need validation or something 🥳 🥴 Savannah: I want to be someone who gives you what you need Jac: You just really like 💗 🌷 🌺 🌸 💗 Savannah: yes, but you look good in any colour Savannah: being BEYOND beautiful has it's advantages Jac: says you Jac: you look so knockout tonight Savannah: oh you've unblocked me 🥰 Jac: Imagine the absolute rudeness if I hadn't Savannah: I did say whatever you need Jac: I wanna see you Savannah: [a pic that's probably blurry af because she drunk but hello] Jac: [sends a 👋 one back 'cos adorable nerd] Savannah: 🥺 Jac: Your eyes are like that constantly Jac: it's like a superpower Savannah: You have way more power than I do Savannah: making me get 🦋🧡🦋🧡🦋🧡🦋🧡🦋🧡🦋🧡 Jac: If I had real power, it'd be tomorrow night so I can see you again Savannah: If I did, you'd be my roommate so I could always see you Jac: 🥺 Savannah: I totally took for granted how often I used to wake up next to you Jac: and double beds Jac: we can still have sleepovers now Jac: I can deal with the floor Savannah: if you're sleeping on the floor, I am too Jac: ❤ Jac: we can pool ALL our blankets, it'll be cosy Savannah: 🤗 Savannah: You have to stay over tomorrow! Jac: That'd be perfect, after our psych night Savannah: ^^^ because I have to share you with them all Jac: So far, you're definitely my favourite 😉 Savannah: everyone already LOVES you though & I have to tell myself Savannah 🚦 ⛔️ 🚫 ‼️ so I'm not like I loved her first Jac: you're going to be campus 👸🏾 though Jac: no 🤴🏾 necessary Jac: you're ✨ Savannah: 👸🏾✨👸🏻 me & you together Jac: Deal Savannah: Do you like anyone though? Jac: Like like wanna be friends or like like 😍? Savannah: well, I obviously meant as friends but of course you have to tell me if you're falling harder than that Savannah: I believe in the power of first impressions & love at first sight Jac: I'm not 😍 over anyone new Jac: not just 'cos my eyes are 🥴 rn Jac: I wanna get along with the people on our course, and I'm hopeful about it though Savannah: Awh baby, you need someone to take care of you too Savannah: at least wellies are easy to take off, unlike our 👗 Jac: like any man knows how to take off a bra Savannah: 😄 SO true Savannah: I always have to do it myself Jac: Me too Jac: but by choice, I guess Savannah: I'd allow it if they offered to take my makeup off instead, especially tonight Savannah: it's going to take forever Jac: being BEYOND beautiful has it's disadvantages too Savannah: 😴 Jac: Honey Savannah: Sligo's nightlife has done nothing to prepare me for St Andrews, HUGE shock, I know Jac: You're adorable Jac: and you'll still glow even if you wake up in last night's mascara Savannah: aren't you sleepy? Jac: I'm pure adrenaline and caffeine still Savannah: Oh okay, I remember now Savannah: how you are Jac: Haven't kicked those bad habits quite yet, soz Savannah: It's another reason why he reminded me of you Savannah: there's so many actually Jac: Is that as bad a thing as it sounds? Savannah: You're perfect, how could it be bad if he's even slightly like you? Jac: I guess because he's your ex, so if I'm even slightly like him Jac: I don't wanna be a painful reminder, like Savannah: I'm over it & even if I wasn't, he's my ex because of all the ways he's different to you Jac: Good Jac: I don't want you to want someone who doesn't want you as much as you deserve Savannah: this is exactly what I mean Savannah: you're so much kinder than him Savannah: or anyone Jac: I just care about you Savannah: I love you Jac: It's been forever since you said that Savannah: 😢 I hate that Savannah: I don't want it to feel like forever Jac: now you've resaid it, so it doesn't Savannah: I thought about you every day Jac: I thought about you so much Jac: what you were doing, how you were Jac: if you missed me too Savannah: ^^^ Savannah: literally ALWAYS during school I'd be wondering how my JJ was, especially during exams because, of course, you'd have the answers Savannah: but there'd be something I wanted to tell you or show you most of the time Savannah: it was definitely my most painful break up so far Jac: I should've been braver Jac: stayed in touch Jac: for both of us Savannah: No, you had to protect yourself because I was being a bad friend & I didn't protect you Jac: We were both bad friends, to Is Jac: I think it was our karma Jac: instant Savannah: you're right Savannah: it already wasn't fair to her that I just wanted you to myself, I should've been kinder about it Jac: it's what I wanted too Jac: it felt like just one too many ways to split my attention Jac: if I didn't want to, I should've at least been honest with her about it Savannah: but honesty is hard with someone like Isabelle Savannah: particularly if you know it'll hurt her Jac: exactly Jac: and even if it made sense to me, was what we wanted Jac: to actually have to explain it to someone else Jac: it seemed impossible, no excuse but Savannah: ^^^ Savannah: It was kind of a relief to have so many other things going wrong in Sligo, so I didn't have to explain what being without you felt like Savannah: Milo would NOT have understood any of it Jac: Tyler didn't, either Jac: I talked to him, like one time after Jac: disastrously drunk, obviously but I remember Savannah: oh no Savannah: I tried to ignore the fact that you'd still have to see him Savannah: it's still funny to me though, you're the only person who calls him that Jac: I'm the only one allowed a monosyllabic name, Tyler 🤷 Jac: it was shit, for a while, long while Jac: seeing them all Jac: but I was alright Savannah: 😄 your name is cuter anyway Savannah: but I'm so sorry Jac: No offense, but your exes names REALLY suit them Jac: 🤓 Savannah: 🤭 Jac: was the new one smart? Jac: Tyler wasn't, really Savannah: academically, yes Savannah: I avoided basketball players like Ty for obvious reasons Jac: no point repeating mistakes Jac: more fun to make new, better ones, every time Savannah: but I did keep checking on him, literally until he got that new girlfriend, please don't judge me Jac: he was your first love Jac: that's to be expected Savannah: are they still together? Jac: I honestly have no idea Jac: I was so focused on school by the end Jac: they were for ages though, like you guys Savannah: I hope he's really happy, with her or not Jac: I'll look for you, when I'm not at risk of a double-tap Jac: doesn't deserve my ❤ Savannah: no boy does Jac: it's unlikely Savannah: you and Cillian did look perfect together though 👼🏻 Jac: It wasn't a real thing Savannah: he wasn't so impressive up close? 😔 Jac: just not for me Savannah: was there anyone else for you? Jac: Nah Savannah: 😢 Jac: Don't be Jac: I wasn't Savannah: of course, you never were Savannah: they're just boys Jac: I don't like boys Savannah: I wish I didn't Savannah: they can be so disappointing Jac: my condolences Savannah: 😄 Savannah: maybe it's me, I am a high maintenance girl Savannah: it can be a lot to ask of them Jac: it's not you Jac: you're a good girlfriend Savannah: you always used to tell me that Savannah: more than they EVER did Jac: See Jac: it's them, not you Savannah: Or it's you Jac: Maybe Jac: it can be both of us Savannah: 😊 Jac: you want to get brunch tomorrow Jac: to plan and stuff Savannah: Yes! Savannah: I'll be 🥱 though so you have to promise to still love me Jac: Of course Jac: how could I not Savannah: can I tell you something? a secret Jac: go on Jac: 👀👂 Savannah: okay, I'm nervous Jac: I'm never going to judge you Jac: or tell anyone Savannah: I just want tomorrow to go well, you know? Jac: I feel the same Jac: first impressions, proper impressions Jac: but I know everyone is going to love you, so I'm not worried for you Savannah: don't be worried for you Jac: it's the only fresh start I've had Jac: I don't wanna fuck that up Savannah: you couldn't Savannah: I told you, everyone already loves you so much that I'm jealous Jac: You're just protective Jac: I love that about you Savannah: I love you & I don't ever want you to get hurt again Jac: You're very sweet and very drunk Jac: not to mention 🥱 Jac: are you ready for bed yet? Savannah: 🥺 I 🥺 still 🥺 need 🥺 to 🥺 take 🥺 my 🥺 makeup 🥺 off 🥺 Jac: Hold on then Savannah: are you sending me the energy? Jac: No, but I'm coming to do it Savannah: oh my god Savannah: seriously? Jac: I told you your 🥺 are your superpower Jac: I'll be about, 15, I think? Savannah: you're a superhero Savannah: & actually saving my life Jac: saving your pores, anyway Savannah: I won't get royal attention otherwise Savannah: my glow is very important Jac: You don't need to convince me Jac: wellies are back on Savannah: you do make them look good somehow Jac: can't take the country out of the girl Savannah: that's not true of like half of Sligo though Savannah: Milo had a posher voice than me Jac: You can see it Jac: in their faces Savannah: You don't think he was pretty? Jac: Not really Jac: not ugly, obviously Savannah: 😄 he'd be BEYOND offended Jac: as was Tyler 🤷 Savannah: is that what you talked about? Jac: it came up Jac: it was more of an argument than a chat though Savannah: he better NOT have been mean to you because I will break the mutual silence between he & I Jac: nah, it was all fair Jac: and I was drunk enough it was mutual Savannah: I still don't like it Savannah: how dare he Jac: I definitely started it Jac: another not my finest hour moment Savannah: he didn't have to retaliate Jac: it was really soon after you left Jac: we were all a mess, right Savannah: 😔😢 Savannah: I think I'm still a mess Jac: Not for long Jac: cleanser incoming Savannah: ✨ Jac: we're going to make this fresh start work Savannah: of course Savannah: I can do it with you Jac: ❤ Savannah: we can make anything work now Jac: I believe that Jac: I believe you Savannah: my nerves are gone Jac: Good Savannah: will you stay? Jac: I could Jac: if you don't mind Savannah: I'll mind more if you don't Savannah: please 🥺 please 🥺 please 🥺 Jac: You're going to kill me Savannah: I would never Jac: Not on purpose Savannah: I just don't want to miss you any more Jac: I know Jac: I want what you want Savannah: I need you back Savannah: forever this time Jac: [I better let you get there before you say anything more] Savannah: [when you're BUZZING to see your bae like it's been a thousand years] Jac: [so blushy] Savannah: [that's adorable and she'd be making it known how cute she looks and is] Jac: [just trying to busy finding the relevant skin care like oh hush you but not mad, obvs] Savannah: [good luck babe because she is too drunk and distracted to help you] Jac: [just like what is life/is this happening still lowkey] Savannah: [I dread to think how much gay and extra this is gonna get, god bless] Jac: [just like sit down babe] Savannah: [for this moment of intimacy and ridiculous closeness] Jac: [try (and fail) not to swoon with how hard you have to look at her rn] Savannah: [thank god her eyes are closed for some of the time to get all that mascara etc off] Jac: [have a secret moment] Savannah: [you need it cos she's gonna be smiling at you the whole time because happy and because it obviously feels nice] Jac: [just boop her nose when you're done 'cos don't even know what to say] Savannah: [a cute lol to kill you more gal] Jac: [when you left before she said sleepover so I hope you've changed into something you can sleep in but you might've not yet lmao] Savannah: [you can wear her clothes lbr you're that coupley already] Jac: [we all know it, just have a debrief of your nights in detail ladies] Savannah: [slag off all those posh lads] Jac: [it would've been such a culture shock Savannah: [yeah exactly and a reason for Savannah to be as drunk as she is because who do you know girl] Jac: [everyone is terrified freshers, that's the tea] Savannah: [mhmmm stick together ladies] Jac: [and you shall we all see it lol] Savannah: [the levels of gay are so strong in you both] Jac: [and will have all your classes together it's not even a different course moment] Savannah: [literally and all the same clubs etc we know you're into all the same things] Jac: [like you're forgiven for thinking you're fated 'cos well] Savannah: [it's hilarious that you weren't intense besties before you were tbh] Jac: [truly how] Savannah: [the world was not ready] Jac: [speaking of, did marianne ever have friends, she lived there her whole life, hmm] Savannah: [I think it was supposed to be no but like surely when she was younger she would've] Jac: [been alone forever, that's so sad] Savannah: [I think that was meant to be the vibe cos like her fam, you wouldn't want to have friends over, honey I relate] Jac: [mhmm, there are those kids I suppose but no wonder she was so fucked up, also this has nothing to do with this lol] Savannah: [it's so sad] Jac: [but also y'all don't have enough blankets for the floor so enjoy that single bed life] Savannah: [your parents would be proud babe] Jac: [is there anything we wanna say or do or have we covered the vibe?] Savannah: [I think we're probably good because the vibe clearly is that she falls asleep and Jac is left to die because not tired just like when your parents were fake dating except they were both suffering] Jac: [👍]

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Janis & Grace

Janis: [Let us say that some boys on the bus were going hard with being dicks because duh, shit always goes down on the bus] Janis: 3 of those lads have sent me dick pics Janis: say the word, like Grace: only 3? 💔 Janis: What can I say? Janis: Not got the pull I used to, obvs Grace: yeah same Janis: Yeah Janis: well, there's comfort in knowing you're always one #scandal away from being old news at this school, yeah Grace: mhmm I'm like so comforted rn Janis: Not my forte Janis: I'll work on getting the remaining 2 dicks Janis: revenge porn, I could do Grace: 🤞💜🙏 Janis: I hope the rest of the insults you've heard today have been more creative than that poor showing at least Grace: Duh of course they haven't 🙄 Janis: Gutting Janis: should've paid more attention in English, lads Grace: [sends her some of the quality content] Grace: that'll be easier when I'm not there to be like TOTALLY distracting obvs Janis: 😑 Janis: How dry Janis: 💀 or 👻 Grace: I mean like catch them at 20 still trying to pass Grace: much as I wanna kms Janis: True that Janis: only here past junior cert to get more fingering experience Grace: ugh Janis: I know Janis: romance is dead Janis: is there anything I can actually do though? Grace: get that as a matching tattoo with barista boy? no 👌👌 Grace: idk cos idk what I can even do soooo Grace: my life is just over Janis: I'll float the idea Janis: might be a bit mainstream Janis: yeah but is that such a bad thing Janis: was pretty tragic, right? Grace: can you not Janis: I'm not taking the piss Janis: I'm being real Grace: & I'm not in the mood for a life revamp atm Grace: or your advice Janis: I'm not trying to be a guru either Grace: well you don't know what you're talking about so that's a relief Janis: Alright Janis: not said I do either Janis: sorry I don't, if I knew how to avoid scandals, I could sell that shit for a high price Grace: just stop Grace: I could care less that I'm #cancelled Grace: it's not even Janis: Go on then Janis: I know you aren't upset over that idiot Grace: Duh Grace: he's the WORST but I knew that already Janis: and give a shit about everyone talking shit, apparently Janis: so, what is it? Grace: it's real if I say it Janis: Is that why you're not saying anything Janis: I know it doesn't stop the talk but some people might listen Janis: what don't you want to make real? Grace: I don't want people to listen, I literally don't want anyone to know Grace: I don't even wanna know, I wish I didn't Janis: Grace Janis: what are you talking about? Grace: I'm literally the worst person, I didn't wanna have his baby & now god has like cursed me forever Janis: Babe, God is NOT a subscriber Janis: tell me Grace: if you make me 😂 I will 😭 Janis: That would make things feel more normal Janis: but I'll calm my comedy genius Janis: you haven't grown another head and I don't think our animal have been slaughtered Grace: thanks babes Grace: but I'd rather have another head than this Janis: More to contour, I get it Janis: Kinda Janis: so it must be bad Grace: Yeah Grace: like I said, my life is over Grace: it's not even started & it's done Janis: Did you want the baby Janis: I know you said not HIS but like Janis: it'd be understandable to be in two minds, even after making a decision about it Grace: not now but I didn't know that'd mean not ever Janis: What? Grace: it's not just that I wasn't pregnant this time Grace: I can't be Janis: Ever? Janis: The Doctor told you? Grace: Ever Grace: the doctor said I'm going through the fucking menopause, like is nan even?! Janis: the menopause Janis: is that even possible Janis: fuck Grace: I don't think the doctor is allowed to drop fake news on me Grace: like maybe there's another storytime coming Janis: When did you find this out? Grace: I went to the doctors right after I delivered my fake news to him Janis: Jesus, Grace Janis: How are you in School Janis: why? Grace: I told you, I don't want this to be happening Grace: I'm freaking out, the symptoms are crazy Janis: Is it just pure bad luck Janis: it can't be like..reversed Grace: there's like no way to undo it Janis: Shit Janis: I'm sorry Janis: that is huge Grace: yeah me too Grace: the pity party this fam would throw would be huge Grace: along with the guestlist of all their accidental babies Janis: and we have enough birthdays with all those accidental kids so Janis: Obviously, no need to explain why you're keeping it to yourself Grace: I can't do this Grace: be this Janis: I don't think you have a choice Janis: well, you don't Grace: is it my fault though? all the binging I used to do Grace: Ro got to have a kid Janis: Of course it ain't your fault Janis: this shit is unfair and random Grace: Yeah Janis: and it'll always be shit and unfair Janis: but you can still live your life, just different to how you've imagined Grace: I don't wanna live this life Janis: There's not an alternative Janis: but I can guarantee it's not gonna be as bad as you feel right now Grace: I was just starting to get my shit together, for god's sake Janis: I know Janis: but you still have the rest together Grace: HE'S the last boy that's ever gonna come near me, that alone makes me wanna die Janis: that's bollocks Janis: you've not got the plague Janis: socially, right now Janis: but who gives a fuck, yeah, the lads 'round here are not the be all in any way Grace: I literally live here Grace: what else am I gonna do go online and find boys who are into 👵? Janis: Boys that don't go to our school, would be a start Janis: ones that aren't likely to be fans of that prick, shouldn't be hard Janis: you're not going for 12 year olds, like Grace: I said don't make me 😂 Janis: It can't hurt Janis: except literally, maybe Grace: I've gotta get used to all the fucking aches and pains anyway ugh Janis: Any excuse for a spa day, you Grace: I'll lose your invite, don't even worry Janis: 💔😏 Janis: you should though Janis: do something that doesn't make you feel like 👵 Grace: casual infertility party Janis: not exactly what I was thinking but Janis: interesting take on the baby shower epidemic Janis: I'd come Grace: oh god don't, Rio's gonna have another one soon Janis: It'll be nice to not have to snatch it back from an OTT gay this time Janis: more chill Grace: unless I snatch it cos I go fully mental Janis: I'd recommend a less baby crazy target Grace: maybe I'll start pushing all the 🐈s around in a pram like oh hey this is my new vibe Janis: if you want your face clawed off Janis: they're pretty unsympathetic little bastards Grace: I literally didn't wanna be in this fam before what am I meant to do now?! ugh Janis: As much as it would be a laugh to ask Ri to surrogate again Janis: let's think of something a little less drastic for the time being Grace: like? Janis: like Janis: you can't disown us all, it'd take to long Janis: but you could not be around for a while Grace: 👌👌 except I have nowhere to go Grace: not trying to have a Q&A with my friends about this Janis: You're so lucky I'm the twin with brains Grace: rude Janis: what about going to see Ava for a hot sec Janis: she's not the barrage-you-with-questions type Grace: it's lowkey very unlikely her mum & dad would want me there though Janis: yeah but it's as unlikely they'll be about enough to notice you that hard Janis: everyone knows you're going through it right now, even if they don't actually know what IT really is Grace: okay yeah Grace: mum does, she'd let me go Janis: exactly, who actually gives a shit if you miss a week or so of school Janis: Ava could still go if she so desperately needs, you just need to chill Janis: away from here Grace: not me, school was the worst even before this Janis: One thing we can agree on Grace: don't like tell anyone, okay? Janis: No shit Janis: 'course I won't Grace: Even your boyfriend who you're so 💖😍😘 for & have no secrets from Janis: Even though you're being purposefully antagonizing rn Janis: I won't tell no one Grace: thanks Janis: It ain't even an ask Janis: so don't mention it Grace: 👌💜 Janis: I'll hook it up with her, no stress Grace: I'll handle mum Janis: and your packing Grace: at least I don't have to serve a look as hard when there's only 1 person there I'm avoiding as opposed to like ALL of Dublin Janis: safe to say you can give the #ootds a break too Janis: strictly loungewear, like Grace: mhmmm Janis: bit rude to avoid Ava though Janis: do I need to tell her you're getting in the guestroom and not coming out, like? Grace: oh please, I would never Janis: Who are you avoiding then? Grace: just a boy Janis: unlike you Grace: excuse you Janis: You'd have your exes all back 'round like a family reunion Janis: who's this boy, did you shit in his bed, what's the story Grace: 😱😱😱 Grace: I WOULD NOT Janis: 👌👌 you love a repeat Grace: I'm a hoe reformed 😇🙏 Janis: so that's why you're avoiding Janis: get a wimple, join a convent Grace: literally can't 💍 anyone but god now anyway so Grace: obvs that's what he wanted when he cursed me Janis: #whenbaeisposessive 😍 Janis: and don't talk shit, you don't have to promise you'll have your firstborn within the year when you get married, like Janis: not necessary Grace: whatever we're so off topic rn Janis: the topic of you shitting in some London lad's bed, 'cos you did not deny it Janis: let's get back on that Grace: OMG no! Grace: I'm 👵 not 🤢💀🤒😓💀 Grace: he's just a hookup, no drama Janis: just gonna run for cover if you 👀 him Janis: standard Janis: probably not lurking about her gaff unless you've really one-upped everyone and fucked your uncle 🤢 Grace: EW! Grace: I'm not even gonna 👀 him cos he's her bfs brother but like I didn't know that so Janis: that's funny Janis: soz Janis: 😂 when the incestuousness of it all happens without you even trying Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: okay 🤐 Janis: but deffo avoid him Grace: duh Grace: the state of me & my life rn Janis: more like the state of that whole situation Janis: getting involved in that is not anyone's idea of relaxing Grace: obvs but that's not anything to do with him Grace: just like none of this #scandal involves you Janis: Think people know better than to imply it was a threesome, yeah Grace: Gross! & you know what I mean, babes Janis: yeah, it's beyond #obvs you don't wanna avoid this boy mhmm Grace: like that matters, he's not gonna hit me up & same Janis: well okay Janis: arranging that goes beyond sisterly duties into pimp territory so Janis: focus on what you're actually gonna do whilst you're there then Grace: 😭😭💀💀😭 then yeah? Grace: 👌💜 Janis: you could do that here Janis: at least go somewhere instagrammable to die Grace: well duh Grace: final livestream for the haters Janis: 🙄😏 Janis: wonder if anyone's killed themselves on stream yet Janis: must've Grace: obvs Grace: but I literally couldn't even if it was original content cos they'd all think it was about him & I'm sooo 💔💔💔 Janis: No one wants that as their legacy Grace: exactly Janis: even if the race to #1 most subscribed when he gets #cancelled would be just riveting Grace: he won't even though his fans are just Janis: sweaty virgins Janis: yeah, figures Grace: 😂 Grace: I'd tell him to hit them with a Q&A but like he's got no answers Grace: literally should've known I wasn't pregnant Janis: thank fuck you ain't Janis: this time anyway Janis: obvs the whole thing is a little more complex but Christ Janis: having to parent with that Janis: and knowing your child was the product of a really shit shag Janis: 💔 Grace: IKR Grace: at least he doesn't know he could blame the menopause for how shit it was Janis: I highly doubt he knows what the menopause is Janis: nevermind the concept of it coming early Janis: though that shouldn't be that unfamiliar Grace: who knew it could come this early though Grace: not his defence squad but like wtf Janis: I hadn't heard of it before, really Janis: like I knew people like Ro and Mia and co can stop getting their period and it might not come back, even if you sort yourself Janis: it's shit luck Grace: yeah Janis: Did you not get your period Janis: on whatever contraception you're on Grace: loads of people don't on the implant so I wasn't freaking out Janis: yeah Janis: s'what I thought Janis: you don't think, I mean that's not why, is it Grace: I'd hope someone would have floated that as a side effect before I got it put in but it's not like I can ask my former squad if they're also going through it Grace: they might've moved on by now anyways it only lasts 3 years Grace: hence my 👶 panic Janis: I don't think even doctors and scientists know what it does to our bodies Janis: we're still guineapigs for all this shit Janis: I know loads of people get fucked up from all the hormones they add to your body, and the ones they take away Janis: again, just bad luck it happened to be permanent, I guess Janis: fun times Grace: at least I won't have to do any of that shit any more Janis: that's true Janis: it's not like there aren't any perks Janis: or that the losses can't be filled with other potentials in the future, when you actually wanna think about all that shit Grace: unless I go bald then I will kms obvs Janis: If you go bald, you can just go for it and superglue a wig on Grace: find me one that doesn't make me look like a weird cartoon character & sure Janis: no 💗 or 💙 Janis: got it Grace: ty 💜 Janis: failing that, you could make Ri transplant you some of hers Janis: like so you won't give me a baby, okay Grace: 😂😂 coming at her with ✂ Grace: I love that you didn't volunteer yourself bitch Grace: 💇 or 👶 tbh Janis: Full horror movie moment that Janis: selfish to a fault me Janis: and final girl, so you can pry 'em off my cold dead head or outta my cold dead womb Grace: my 📽🎞😱 moment is that this is gonna change my skin type to dry so it'll take me at least a full week to find replacements for all my makeup faves Janis: yeah, but think about how hard your spots should disappear Janis: get yourself a decent moisturizer and you won't even need to bother barely Grace: !!! Grace: I didn't even think of that OMG Janis: mhmm 👵 don't get acne Grace: 🙏🙏 Janis: and you can try a new facial over there, yeah Grace: as long as Ava isn't like no thanks bitch Janis: won't give her an option tbh Grace: 📽🎞😱 Janis: 😏 you know I'm scary bitch Grace: oh please Janis: 👊 Grace: 😘

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Grace & Janis

Grace: UM what even??! Janis: The invites weren't personalized Janis: you were more than welcome to swing by Grace: yeah cos that was gonna happen Grace: literally what were you thinking Janis: That it'd be a decent way to kill time Janis: and it was Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: there's so many OTHER ways to do that Grace: that don't involve like criminal activity Janis: Damn, now you tell me Grace: UGH Grace: be serious Janis: I'm dead serious Janis: think of all the trouble you'd have saved me Janis: bit rude Grace: why are you the literal hardest person to talk to about anything EVER? Janis: Get to the point of what you actually want Grace: I wanna know if you're okay, bitch Janis: yeah sure Janis: obviously I'm okay Grace: OBVS mhmmm Grace: excuse me for being concerned Janis: You should be happy I'm making friends and getting out there Janis: isn't that what you wanted? 🤔🤔 Grace: Hello??! You literally broke into school Grace: you're in so much trouble, why would I want that?? Janis: So? No one got hurt Janis: they're just making a big deal out of it as per and we all know why Janis: you don't need to get invovled Grace: duh x 2 Janis: then who gives a shit Grace: obvs not you Grace: which is why it's a big deal Janis: Yeah, that makes logical sense Grace: you can't just do whatever you want! Janis: Can and did though Grace: ugh Grace: forget you Janis: and think about ma and pa? Janis: yeah 😂 no thanks Grace: you're the WORST Janis: and this is a bad attempt at a plea for me to change Grace: oh please Grace: the most I was trying to attempt was checking in Janis: Yeah, blatantly Janis: you really fucked that up then Grace: 👌👌👌 Grace: it's totally my fault you can't have a conversation like a normal person Janis: Hi, how are you? Janis: one line Janis: it ain't even difficult Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: Christ Janis: you feel better now then Grace: oh sure, you REALLY stopped the freakout before it could get extra Grace: thanks so much Janis: No one is freaking out over you Janis: your ability to make anything and everything about you is almost impressive Janis: not quite but look at you Grace: I'm freaking out over you, DUH Grace: get a clue Janis: Why Grace: why do you think??! Janis: I don't know, Grace Janis: I don't speak for my health Grace: You don't care, you mean Grace: you literally don't care about anything Janis: Exactly, I don't Janis: so why would you bother when I don't Grace: like I just said, forget it Janis: Sounds like you need to take your own advice Janis: I already have Grace: I'll go do that then, babes Janis: Sounds fun Janis: maybe you wanna throw your own party, yeah Grace: you TOTALLY read my mind Janis: 😂 Janis: you wish Grace: rn yeah Janis: always more like 💔 Grace: you wish, hun Janis: even you don't believe that Grace: that you think I'm so overly invested? UM yeah I obvs do Janis: That I would ever want to read your mind or be read by you Grace: duh that isn't what I said Grace: you wish that I'm always wishing you would Janis: Exactly Janis: I just said, why would I ever want that? Janis: Fuck you're thick Grace: idk babes you think I want you in my head for SOME reason Janis: Gotta fill that empty space with something Janis: but I'm not interested Janis: working overtime with your pals Grace: I couldn't be less interested either Janis: Obviously 😏 Janis: sort of falls apart when you're here and 🔊 Janis: but go off Grace: cos I care that you're literally going off yourself doesn't mean I want you for an inner voice Janis: yeah next stop crack Janis: calm down Grace: I don't even wanna talk to you anymore Janis: awh, I never wanna talk to you Janis: got to stop #twinning like this Grace: 👌👌 Janis: go bore someone else now Grace: sure Janis: 👋 Grace: 👋💜 Janis: tell them I'm at the gym Grace: I'm not your PA Janis: then let 'em worry where I've gone Grace: they'll be worrying anyway Janis: c'est la vie Janis: I've got things to do Grace: I literally didn't ask Janis: Yeah, you're not good at conversation, fill in the blanks Grace: leave me alone Janis: some concern Janis: 👌👌 Grace: yeah cos I give up Grace: you're like impossible Janis: or, as we've all speculated, you aren't good enough Janis: sister, friend, daughter, add whichever title you're failing at currently Grace: mhmm Grace: but I'm making it about me, okay Janis: have at it Grace: no thanks Janis: ahh so contrary Grace: says you Grace: you've got so much to do Grace: go away Janis: as you're well aware, escaping Shawshank is easier and less timely Grace: 💔 Janis: fuck off Grace: literally have tried Grace: stop talking Janis: stop being a cunt Grace: STOP Janis: you have literally no idea Janis: about anything Grace: you won't talk to me so how can I? Grace: the mind reading was a mutual no, babes Janis: You didn't ask anything Janis: literally who do you think you are to lecture me, or anyone Janis: You aren't mum and dad, or even Rio Grace: cos you literally won't even tell me if you're okay or not! Grace: there's like zero point Janis: I said I was Janis: you don't fucking listen Grace: you don't answer anything honestly or seriously Janis: You wanna admit how familiar that trait is then? Grace: we've not talking about me! ffs Janis: cool, list my faults as it suits Grace: that's not even Grace: UGH Janis: What? Grace: I'm not trying to shade you rn I'm just explaining why we can't have a Q&A about literally anything Janis: Yeah, yet you still tried and you're still getting pissed off at me Janis: you knew the outcome, you did fuck all new to change it, no room for surprise Grace: Yeah okay Janis: yeah Grace: I'm freaking out rn I told you Grace: I can't like Grace: not Janis: it's only community service Grace: Duh Grace: It's not that Janis: ? Grace: you know why I'm scared Grace: why mum & dad are Janis: Well it's some bullshit Grace: ??! Janis: You should know Janis: I'm not her, none of us are Janis: they don't get to right their wrongs on me like it's the same Grace: but you won't listen, don't care & won't stop Janis: I'm not doing meth Grace: wow that's so comforting Grace: thanks Janis: 🙄 Janis: how the fuck do I have to convince you I'm not Edie Janis: and why the fuck should I Grace: you're not her, you're still freaking me out Grace: you're still freaking mum & dad out Janis: Some people have real problems, you know Janis: you think they'd understand that Grace: they care about you, get over it Janis: Bollocks do they Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: some people have parents who don't or no parents Janis: Wow, orphan is one step away from starving African child! Janis: they don't care, but I'm not 'freaking out' about it or having a pity party, you don't need to lecture me, as we've covered Grace: fine Janis: Good Grace: just go now like Janis: Make me Grace: oh please Grace: if I could we wouldn't be having this convo Janis: Yep Grace: whatever, I'll go Grace: great talk, babes Janis: Bye bye Grace: 💜👋💜

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Buster & Ava

Buster: What the fuck have I gotta lay the law down for? Ava: Oh, and a howdy to you too Buster: Start talking Buster: Mum is really pissing me off Ava: Welcome to the club Buster: Come on, I ain't got the time or the patience for this off you as well Ava: You ain't my lawyer and I don't want you present Ava: I know my rights Buster: For fuck's sake, someone give me a straight answer Ava: God, fine Ava: but this is NOT how I wanted to do this, let the record show Buster: It's out of your hands, yeah, noted Ava: I've got a new boyfriend and they're not happy Buster: What's that gotta do with me? Ava: I didn't tell you Ava: It's someone you know, alright Buster: Who? Ava: Knew, even, back in the day Ava: Your old friend, James Buster: I know loads of lads called James Buster: It better not be the one I first thought of Ava: Well how would I know Buster: Don't Ava: What do you want me to say? Buster: I don't want to hear another word unless it's you telling me I've got it wrong and it ain't him Ava: Then that's that Buster: What's wrong with you? Ava: Nothing Ava: I met him at Kings, I like him Buster: Bullshit, you're better than this Ava: Better than what, exactly? Buster: A fucking married dad, Ava Ava: He's getting divorced Buster: So you're someone's dirty little secret and then what, exactly, a surrogate mum? Ava: Of course not Buster: Just 'cause he's never had any drive or ambition and his soon to be ex is cracked, that don't mean you've gotta step in on either Ava: You don't know him anymore Buster: You don't know him, it's been like a month, yeah? Ava: and who do you think I am anyway, captain save a hoe? Buster: You tell me Ava: No, you think you know so well, go on Buster: Jesus Christ Buster: You're proper acting your fucking age Buster: Don't get me started on that Ava: It isn't that big of a gap Buster: Not like when Nance tried to get on her teacher no, but is that what you wanna be measured against now? Ava: She's already gone there, try again Buster: Okay, try this, it's really fucking hard raising someone else's kid Buster: I know, I'm doing it Ava: Like you said, it's been like a month Ava: I'm dating him, I'm not raising any children Buster: It doesn't matter, you like him, you'll wanna help him Buster: Then you'll get attached and you'll be stuck Ava: No I will not Ava: and he's not going to introduce people to his kids that easily either, he's not an idiot Buster: I don't care what he is, you're being stupid Buster: End it before you're in up to your neck Ava: How am I? Buster: Come on, you don't need the list Ava: Then I disagree Buster: Go ahead, I'm right Ava: Enjoy that Ava: it changes nothing in my life Buster: You think you're grown now, yeah? Ava: You think you can tell me what to do? Buster: When you're this determined to fuck up, I've clearly got to Ava: Focus on your own family Buster: You're my family Ava: Then trust me Buster: I fucking love you, stop it Ava: I love you all too Buster: You told Nance before you told me, you weren't even gonna tell me, what the hell, Ava? Ava: I was going to Ava: I changed my status and she pounced so I just told her there and then Ava: I was thinking how to put it Buster: He's got you lying already Buster: Keeping important shit from me Ava: It's not like that Ava: I am telling you Buster: I'm gonna kill him Ava: No, you aren't Ava: come on Buster: You come on Ava: He's had a hard enough time, alright Ava: and he's not done anything wrong here Buster: He's not gonna be any good for you after being with her Buster: She's fucked Ava: He is though Ava: she's left her kids, you know Buster: Listen, she ruins everything she touches Ava: He isn't ruined Buster: You can't see it Ava: You literally haven't seen him in ages Buster: I'm not talking about him, I'm talking about her Ava: You weren't trying to help him then, when it all happened Buster: You don't know what I did or didn't do then, alright? Buster: Shut up Ava: Don't tell me to shut up Buster: Fucking hell Ava: Calm down Buster: Don't Ava: If this is the extent of the conversation we're gonna have then yeah, we're both too busy for this Buster: Ava Ava: What? Buster: I'm trying to calm down, alright Ava: Alright Buster: Shit happened back then, I'm not proud of it and I try not to think about it Ava: It's the same for him, and lots of people Ava: I'm sorry if he brings that up for you Buster: Yeah, well that ain't your fault, it ain't even his Buster: I'm sorry Ava: You've reacted as expected Ava: Meaningless death threats aren't nothing compared to mum asking if I'm doing it for attention, soz to you and dad Buster: I just wanna protect you, so does she Ava: Appreciated Buster: She's so shit scared to lose you, any of us, but you know Buster: You especially Ava: Rule number one is don't chase them into the boyfriend's arms, is it not Buster: When has she ever played by any rules but her own? Come on Ava: Well I'm not a baby Buster: You're exactly the fucking same as her, is what you are Ava: Shut up Ava: If I was we'd have no problem Buster: Well, I was gonna say nicer but you've fucked that now Ava: I don't feel like being nice Buster: Fair enough, me either Ava: Oh no, however will we cope without your kind words and ways Buster: Do you love him or what? Ava: I'm the one being stupid and moving too fast, now you wanna marry me off Ava: okay Buster: Do you? Ava: Yes Buster: Alright Ava: Is it? Buster: It won't always be but it'll feel worth it anyway Ava: How is it different with Venus? Buster: Everything is harder with or without that cunt actually around to undermine me Buster: I second guess myself all the time, if I don't love her enough, if I love her too much Buster: I'd die for that kid and I have no idea what I'm even gonna mean to her Ava: Yeah Ava: it's fucked up Buster: Caleb gave everything to Edie and it didn't save her Ava: No Ava: How could they let it happen again Buster: I love Rio more than anything and I still couldn't stop it Ava: It's really messed up Buster: Yeah Ava: Do you think you should give her to her dad Ava: full time Buster: He doesn't want her full time, he barely wants her part time Ava: I just think Ava: that maybe that's because Rio wouldn't give her up Ava: he was going to have her, obviously, that was the plan, when Junior was still around Buster: Plans change and he only wants it his way Ava: okay Ava: do you talk to Caleb? Ava: you should Buster: Yeah 'cause that wouldn't be weird Ava: Act your age Buster: That means not being a selfish cunt, no good is gonna come of me raking over his grief for my own benefit Buster: Oh and while I'm at it, let me slag your daughter off for not listening to me, cheers Ava: He probably would like to talk about it Ava: doubt anyone ever asks him Buster: You talk to him then Buster: Be the best step mum you can be, like Ava: 🙄 Buster: Like you said, everything's fucked Ava: Don't include me in that Buster: You ain't exempt, kid Buster: You wish Ava: Alright, then I'm not and get over it Buster: Act your age Ava: Rich Buster: Yeah, I am Ava: Not yet, boy Buster: Take your jinxes elsewhere Ava: Will do Buster: Good Ava: Can report back now, Judas Buster: Fuck that, I don't do what I'm told either Ava: 😏 Ava: Bullshit, you don't want to admit you failed horribly Buster: Fuck you, that's never happened Ava: Sure, you convinced me Ava: definitely not going to do exactly what I want and planned to Buster: 'Course and 'course not, respectively Ava: But seriously, you can't actually lie to them about this because I won't be Buster: Hilarious, I ain't that cunt and I ain't looking to turn into him today Ava: Well I hope they go back to annoying about whatever they usually do and not me then Ava: you* Buster: Unlikely Ava: Serious question Ava: do you think I should let him talk to them Ava: he offered but is that the worst idea or actually might help Buster: Why not? Buster: He loves you too, yeah? Ava: Yeah Ava: but if dad tries to hit him or something as shaming I swear to God Buster: Mum wouldn't let that happen Buster: She'd kick him out well before he could kick off, she knows every tiny trigger even before he does Ava: Hmm, maybe Ava: you have more faith in her as an impartial ref Ava: but she's not been shouting at you for however long so Buster: 'Cause she don't shout at me, she goes quiet Buster: James can still form a coherent sentence when prompted, can't he? Ava: Well that's unfair Ava: I'll ask her to change her method back Ava: and fuck off Buster: It's a fair question, he was partying really hard last I heard Ava: He went to rehab actually Buster: Leave that out of the introductions and calm down then Ava: Don't tell me to calm down Ava: tah very much Ava: like they just want to meet him Buster: I'm just saying, he offered Buster: If you don't have to do this on your own, why the fuck would you wanna? Ava: You don't get it 'cos your relationship is different Ava: you wouldn't subject someone to this family if you didn't have to Ava: in fact, definitely waiting 'til they've calmed down, I can just imagine the ridiculous things they'd say and nope Buster: Take the support, Ava, Christ's sake Buster: He was married to her, he's handled crazier Ava: Yeah 'cos that's how I want to be Ava: how I wanna treat him Ava: I'm more than capable, thanks Buster: Yeah, really capable of letting someone help you, as evidenced right there, like Ava: I don't need it Buster: Whatever Buster: Maybe he needs to give it Ava: He's mid-divorce, I think he's busy enough Buster: If he loves you, he ain't too busy for you Ava: 🙄 Okay Ava: you can go now Buster: You can think again on trying to tell me what to do Ava: Okay, I'm gonna go then Ava: thank you for your advice etc Buster: Don't ask me what I reckon and then dismiss it Ava: I've taken it on-board Ava: I didn't say I'd do what you said Buster: It'll help show them that you're both serious Buster: They reckon nobody under the age of about 35 has been since they were Ava: Exactly Ava: that's what they don't wanna hear Ava: ever since you shit the bed Ava: they can think it's not serious if they like, fine by me Buster: The sooner they hear whatever the truth is, the sooner they can deal, 'cause they'll have to Ava: I'm not even gonna be here this time next year Ava: they need to deal with that first Buster: You're not a baby, it's all part of the same issue Ava: You need to move here or they need to be there so they can be all over your kids Buster: I've already got a place there and they've got one here Ava: I'm talking permanently, like Ava: or they'll have their own baby or something Buster: No they won't Ava: If Ro can Ava: wonders never cease Buster: Yeah and that was such a good idea Ava: She wouldn't know one if it called itself 0 cals Buster: Like you said, in a year you'll be at uni wherever the fuck you want Ava: I'll suggest knitting and golf then Buster: If you've got a death wish Ava: Can't dampen the mood any harder Buster: Come on Buster: I'll have another kid or something, take the heat off Ava: Tah Ava: no chance Nance will so you have to really Buster: Don't Ava: What? Buster: Imagining her as a mother is such a headfuck Ava: She won't Ava: she's heartbroken rn, apparently Buster: Standard then, yeah? Ava: obviously Ava: standard she managed to get that in to this convo, like Buster: If anyone can Ava: you know Ava: as well as a meaningless offer of a trip out there Buster: And you still told her before me Buster: Fuck you Ava: Got to be faster on the socials Ava: I technically told Grace ages ago if you want to be really upset Buster: What? Ava: Not literally the whole debacle, I'm not mental Ava: just to talk about it, when you last came over Buster: What do you reckon all your friends are gonna say? Ava: I dunno Ava: a mixed bag, no doubt Buster: I can like actually try and talk to mum and dad if you want Ava: If you wanna smash your head against that particular brickwall Ava: you're welcome to try Ava: I don't mind Buster: 'Course that wouldn't actually hurt me so Ava: Thick skull Ava: sure Buster: Yeah Buster: And loads of practice at exactly that pursuit Ava: Cheers then Ava: enjoy the brain damage Buster: Will do

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Buster & Rio

Buster: You up yet? Rio: 😴 Rio: Just about Buster: [sends her loads of pics from Nancy's camera roll cos my idea is she's still asleep and he stole her camera to look through] Rio: She got loads of good ones Rio: so sneaky with that 📸 Buster: And your good side Buster: Even after all those drinks Rio: All my sides are good 😘 Rio: I can handle my drink too, tah Buster: You did alright Rio: Shut up that you drank any more or was any less wobbly, like Buster: I did drink more though Buster: I know 'cause I was the one stealing 'em Rio: Well then that's just bad manners Rio: should be ashamed of yourself, McKenna Buster: Shame's for pussies Buster: I did what I did and I don't feel bad Rio: 😏 Rio: could at least pretend you're a little bit sorry for short changing me Buster: You obviously weren't if a second ago you were trying to argue that you drank as much as me Buster: You had a good night and you didn't miss out if that's what you reckon, like Rio: Whatever Rio: it was fun Buster: Yeah Rio: All things considered Rio: no one else was concerned about handling their drink, obvs Buster: Never are Rio: Not a party 'til someone makes a tit of themselves Buster: Who you gonna give the first prize too though? Rio: 🤔 Rio: be rude not to give it to birthday boy Buster: Too late to write it in his card but he can still have it Rio: Just what he wanted Rio: better than a 10 years over midlife crisis Buster: Mid life depends when you die Rio: You're giving him 100? Buster: 'Course Rio: Pop that in the card Rio: cute Buster: Stop calling me cute Rio: It's not you it's what you said Buster: 😏 Buster: I said it so it's me Rio: Fine then 🤐 Buster: Nice try Rio: 🙄 Buster: You gonna sulk for long 'cause I'm bored of being the only one awake here Rio: You gonna be nice to me Buster: If you're gonna take me somewhere good Rio: I'M not gonna do you dirty Rio: I have manners Buster: That's not really selling it to me, babe Buster: Make it sound fun, yeah? Rio: I don't need to sell it Rio: you're bored Buster: Come on Rio: You come on Rio: when have I ever let you down Buster: Do you want me to be nice or do you want me to answer that? Rio: I'm ignoring you Rio: be ready, I'll come to yours Buster: I am ready Buster: Not a fucking amateur Rio: You're gonna need to prove that Buster: How? Rio: If you're asking, then you definitely are an amateur Rio: You've got time to work something out Rio: gotta do breakfast Buster: I was doing manners Rio: What happened to fun? Buster: Cheers for admitting I'm right and you can't be polite and not boring Rio: You can't Rio: it doesn't suit you Buster: It don't suit you either Rio: Why not Buster: You know why not Buster: I'm not feeding you compliments for breakfast Rio: Now THAT is boring Rio: and mean Rio: 👎 Buster: You've got time to work for 'em Buster: Like I said, I'm no amateur, babe Rio: Does Nance wanna come? Buster: I don't know Buster: Do you want me to wake her up? Rio: Up to you Rio: I don't mind Buster: Will she wanna go? Wherever it is you're taking me Rio: Probably not Rio: I'll see if one of my 'rents will take them imaginosity or something Buster: Alright Rio: She'll like that more Buster: Yeah Buster: Junior'll probably be happier if she don't fuck off with us for ages as well Rio: Right, exactly Rio: they can be cute nerds Buster: They were 🤓s last night Rio: They missed each other Buster: Don't encourage 'em Rio: Don't be mean Rio: at least she was smiling, right Buster: I'll give you that Rio: Shame they can't hang more often Buster: It's not like she'll have to struggle to write him a letter like when granddad was a kid Rio: 😂 okay he's not that old Rio: still Rio: he's so shy Rio: be nice if he had someone Buster: Don't Buster: She better make friends like the few she had in Cambs Rio: What do you mean, don't Rio: I can't adopt her, calm down, like Buster: I mean don't make me think about how she might not Buster: All the shit that can go wrong Rio: She'll be alright Rio: she'll have the time to Buster: 'Course Rio: at least you're going at the start Rio: midway through is the worst Buster: Yeah, fuck that Rio: what are you wearing Rio: need to see if its sensible Buster: [selfie because of course he would] Rio: 👍 Buster: Show me yours Rio: Steady Rio: [but does 'cos was just a shameless excuse, like what you doing] Buster: I've figured it out Rio: You what Buster: I know where we're going Buster: But don't worry I'll look surprised when we get there Rio: How Rio: 🤔 Buster: Just that good Rio: Bollocks Rio: such a bullshitter Buster: Where did your manners go? Rio: If you're gonna lie, then all bets are off, like Buster: Sounds fun Rio: If that's how you want it Buster: How do you want it? Rio: Do you care? Buster: I asked, didn't I? Rio: Can play 20 questions later Buster: Yeah Buster: Can do whatever we want Rio: 🤞 Rio: That's how I want it Buster: Me too Rio: If anyone asks we're just going park yeah Buster: Nobody's gonna ask me Buster: Don't worry Rio: Get it Rio: even if they were up, already got the headache and mouth too dry to say much Buster: I don't wanna talk about them Rio: Okay Rio: got it Buster: The state of 'em last night was embarrassing Rio: Everyone was though Rio: and you know, no one's judging Buster: Yeah, everyone was but you still know what I mean Rio: yeah Rio: I'll make you forget about it Rio: you'll see Buster: If anyone can Rio: You can trust me Buster: I know Rio: Not just a useless 👸 waiting to be saved Buster: I know Rio: though having woodland creature pals or mice to do chores would be well helpful rn Buster: If you'd have said last night we could've caught some out by the bins Buster: Still, I'll see what I can do Rio: Could catch a lot out by those bins Rio: minging Buster: 'Course I'd risk it for you though 👸 Rio: My hero Rio: 😍🙄 Buster: You'd have to trust me too Rio: You know I do Buster: Probably not one of your better ideas Buster: But yeah Rio: You're the one who's anti being wrong Rio: I'll survive Buster: Good Rio: and how do you know trusting me ain't a bad one for you Buster: 'Cause I know you Rio: You're not that bad Rio: I told you, not scared of you Buster: And I told you, don't be Rio: I'm not Rio: you're Buster: Don't tell me Buster: I don't wanna hear what you think of me Rio: Are you scared? Buster: I'm not scared of anything Buster: Ever Rio: Then why don't you wanna hear Buster: 'Cause then I'll know Buster: Like it or not Rio: I don't know what I was going to say Rio: so you're safe Buster: You mean you're safe Rio: If you say so Buster: You are Buster: From whatever you might have said and no take backs Buster: I was never in any danger Rio: That'd be why you stopped me Rio: for my own sake Buster: 🤴 Rio: 🤖 Buster: If you say so Rio: mhm Buster: Come out with it then Rio: Why should I now Buster: You've got shit you're holding back Buster: Why should you? Rio: that's a joke Buster: Say it Rio: I'm on my way Buster: All the more reason Buster: You keep saying you ain't scared of me Buster: Prove you're not Rio: Not you I'm worried about Buster: Why are you worried at all? Rio: Don't be thick Buster: Don't say one thing and do another Rio: What? Buster: Tell me Rio: Why have you done a compete 180 Buster: I ain't done anything Rio: You said don't tell me, so I'm not Buster: And you didn't drop it when I said that Buster: So finish what you started Rio: you first Buster: Girls always go first Buster: I've got no manners and I know it Rio: No balls Rio: don't pussy out Buster: Fuck you Rio: Told you Rio: we never last long Buster: 'Cause you know all these languages and you still can't say fuck all to me Rio: because there ain't no language in the world where what I wanna say is fucking okay Rio: okay Buster: Fuck this world then Buster: We made our own when we were little anyway Rio: We aren't little anymore Rio: we can't just pretend we don't know better Buster: We can do whatever we want Buster: We both agreed to that before I even got here Rio: It's different when you're here Rio: harder when we're actually together Buster: So turn around Buster: Don't be coming to my door Rio: No Rio: come on, we can do what we've been doing Rio: don't need to spoil it Buster: You just said we can't Buster: Lucky if we last the day Rio: Of course we can Rio: we just need to leave it alone Buster: Fine Rio: It can be Rio: Please Rio: we can still have fun Buster: Fuck it Buster: You're on your way Rio: It would be rude to turn me away Rio: unbelievably bad manners Rio: and I could just be awkward and say I'm there to see Nance so Buster: You can see her if you want but you said you wanted to have fun so Buster: You'll have more of that with me Rio: I wanna see you Buster: Okay Rio: Mates? Rio: for the holidays, like Buster: Yeah Buster: Like old times Rio: Right Rio: I wonder what happened to that boy Buster: I wonder if he's played dares since Rio: Probably Rio: he was always up for it Buster: He didn't think we'd be up for it though Buster: Probably weirded him right out Rio: He shouldn't have said it Rio: clue is in the name, whole point of the game, like Buster: He'd been trying to get me to pussy out of playing for ages Buster: Don't you remember what a cunt he was? Rio: Oh, not really Rio: he was alright to me Rio: bit of a hanger-on type but other than that Buster: 'Course he was alright to you Rio: 'cos I'm not a lad Buster: 'Cause he is Rio: You used to reckon every lad fancied me Buster: They all did Buster: 🐸💋 Rio: 😂 Rio: he might've grown into his face Buster: We can use it for a punching bag Buster: Gotta start teaching you some time Rio: Awh, poor old whathisname Buster: I doubt you'll hurt him that bad, babe Rio: 😒 Rio: You wanna watch out Rio: my aim might be off Buster: I'm not ticklish, like Buster: I'll be fine Rio: Such a dick Rio: be your fault Rio: shit teacher, like Buster: I'll be a great teacher Buster: It don't mean I can give you power you ain't got Rio: Shut up, I'm not weak Buster: I didn't call you weak Buster: There's just no way you'd be able to knock me out Rio: Easy Rio: especially if you keep 'motivating' me like this Buster: What do you wanna bet? Buster: I'll let you try at the end of summer Rio: 🤔 Rio: what have you got that I want Buster: Tell me what you want and I'll get it Buster: If I don't already have it, which I probably do Rio: Alright, that's the bet Rio: I'll have thought of my prize by the end of summer Rio: you can do but don't dream too big 'cos it won't happen 💔 Buster: 😂 Buster: I'll make it easy for you and say you only have to knock me over not out Buster: Even with that fighting chance you won't win whatever you think you want Buster: So don't think too hard Rio: You can't cut corners, you still have to show me everything properly Rio: and at this rate, getting to punch you will be prize enough 👌 Buster: I'll teach you everything I know, exactly like I said I would Rio: Good Buster: We can start as soon as we get where we're going Rio: Can we? Rio: could be going to a library for all you know, boy Buster: For all I care Rio: 😏 Buster: Are you scared of librarians? Rio: Don't be stupid Rio: as if I'd actually take you to a library to try to distract you Buster: You could distract me anywhere Buster: But cheers for not picking a library, babe Rio: Challenge accepted on that one too Buster: It's not a challenge Rio: Come let me in Buster: [does or rather let's himself out cos no need to stay around the baze gaff] Rio: [run kids run 'fore anyone can think to stop you, like] Buster: [he should give her a matchbox with some kind of bug creature in that he caught cos 👸 and she said she wanted one lol] Rio: [that's so cute, bye, just getting some grass and dandelions and putting it in there like let's ride] Buster: [I hope it's not a gross bug lol but yeah I thought it's a good way to show they are still little like] Rio: [she wouldn't be eww about it so its fine, Ali is her mum, just taking his hand so they can run to the nearest dart thing] Buster: [we see you handholding when you don't need to and we stan] Rio: [at least you don't have the longest bus ride ever, the dedication that she got here thanks lol] Buster: [I never even thought about that like omg boy she must really love you she's literally a child and she did that early af in the day after a night of it] Rio: [thanks for not kidnapping her everyone lmao] Buster: [when I had my 1st hangover at 10 I was literally in bed all the next day like] Rio: [my boo say not for you sir] Buster: [only for you my waffle wife] Rio: ['you had breakfast?'] Buster: [looks at her like don't be stupid because 🤴s don't make their own breakfast and 10 year old boys who don't give a fuck clearly don't so no he has not lol] Rio: ['we can get pancakes' height of excitement live your best also a throw forward to when you go get breakfast in London] Buster: [remember when he made her crepes though and it was sexual as hell] Rio: [omg yes I do, that's like soon I think they were 12? something like that I'm sure, all I'm saying is you do a terrible job of ignoring each other] Buster: [god bless but in the now he'd be buzzing cos she's just treating him normal which his friends and Nancy aren't] Rio: [just chatting about all the things she's gonna get on her pancakes like when you're a kid and you go ham on the pizza hut ice cream and it's unedible] Buster: [omg yes such a mood and it'd lowkey turn competitive cos he's a boy who needs to flex like I'm gonna get this and this] Rio: [just loling when it gets outta hand] Buster: [we all loling and having a fun time cos deserved soz for not letting you 3rd wheel Nance but also not soz] Rio: [we all know that was shameless like no no you go do this instead, everyone catch yourselves on so blatant] Buster: [literally what are all of you playing at we can excuse baze for obvs reasons and cali cos 10 kids but the rest of y'all step it up tbh] Rio: [at least she'd know all the swag food places in town even now, should be like a cereal cafe vibe so they really can go ham with toppings, also probably there so off you get 'cos baze are pretty central] Buster: [yaaaaas open the door for her boy and help her out cos she's smol you gotta] Rio: [does a lil curtsey 'cos running with this 👸🤴 mood] Buster: [opening the door to the place too and pulling her chair out etc cos likewise] Rio: [imagine working there you'd be like aww, hence the waitress should give them a freebie or something and be nice af] Buster: [Why am I emosh about a fictional waitress shipping them bye] Buster: [omg they should go back and take saint as a bub and she can still be there] Rio: [AWH] Buster: [they'd be on such a sugar high rn it'd be adorable] Rio: [fight off any sign of a hangover with sugar] Buster: [they are gonna crash so hard later] Rio: [😴] Buster: [that could be so cute though if they do together and a nice flashforward to when they did when he was wrecked in a couple of years] Rio: [hit all those feels] Buster: [for now go and window shop for a bit until you actually go in somewhere swag and she tries something on and comes out and shows him even though she doesn't need to and you die boy and hit her with all them compliments so she can die too] Rio: [a moment, no hiding that lads] Buster: [shame she can't take a selfie in that 🔥 lewk for him to pine over later but they are meant to be at the park] Rio: [I mean she can take one but you can't realy ask for it unless you wanna be that obvious lmao] Buster: [unless she's sneaky and posts it but after the fact like only they know it happened then idk] Rio: [always an option, not like anyone is checked in appaz ] Buster: [that's the tea] Buster: [we could also let them actually go to the park later like maybe they get picked up from there so it looks legit but while they are there he can start to teach her how to 🥊 too so] Rio: [yas, we know it's gonna be inte nse and a moment so] Buster: [and they can take loads of cute selfies together so it looks like they've been there all day but really also just cos they wanna] Rio: [#shameless] Buster: [just look everyone we're so trustworthy don't worry about us bye] Rio: [let us go out more thank you] Buster: [do we wanna skip to later like maybe when they in the car on the way home #sneaky or is there any more we wanna say/do that happened?] Rio: [I reckon that's lots of moments for one day, I'm good to skip] Buster: [who should we say is picking them up and if it's Cali who else is in the car kid wise is my question lol] Rio: [probably cali, assuming everyone else is too fragile from last night, they could be taking Nancy home as well from whatever they went and did in the end, then probably the toddler aged ones 'cos extra and love to be involved so maybe Pablo, Grace and Janis like hello! lol] Buster: [sounds real when you're just in the car putting up pics of the girl you love and trying not to be too extra with your captions like] Rio: [better chat to Nancy gurl since you shamelessly uninvited her so guilty but no regrets really] Buster: [Nancy should ask if she can stay over at their house and Buster just like 👀 waiting to see if Cali will say yes cos shamelessly wants her to] Rio: [they'd probably umm and ahh 'cos the baze situation but I say they should ask baze when they get there and they'd say yes 'cos she's a helpful bitch and distract the kids tah] Buster: [Buster would be so buzzing cos he didn't have to ask her to stay but she still is] Rio: [just like love it when a plan comes together, a shameless look at him like yas] Buster: Not gonna stop being a 👸 if we stay up all night, are you? Rio: Oi, I suit green Rio: just watch your da's car don't turn into a 🎃 Buster: I know you do Buster: He don't suit red as well as me though and he'd be 😡 if anything happened to his car Rio: 😂 Rio: call in a favour with my fairy godmother and 🤞 Buster: Depends how distracted we need him to be later on Buster: So don't yet Rio: Imagine how weird he'd look if we shaved his eyebrows off Buster: [actually lols like excuse him everybody] Rio: [😏 but also telling the kids some joke 'cos you know they'd be like WHAT WHAT] Buster: [just looking at her back like 😏 cos she swagged it] Rio: What have you actually got in mind then Buster: Don't you like surprises? Rio: Sometimes Rio: not if you're coming for my eyebrows or something though Buster: You can trust me Buster: I won't touch your eyebrows Rio: Alright Rio: then I'll pretend to be surprised Buster: You're gonna be surprised for real Buster: Wait and see Rio: I'll try Buster: You don't have to when I'm putting in the effort for you Rio: Try and wait Rio: I mean Buster: You won't have to wait that long Buster: Nance can never stay up as late as me Rio: Don't being SO busy make you SO tired too, like Buster: Sometimes Buster: But being around you wakes me back up Rio: I feel that too Rio: not just all the sugar we had either Buster: There's so much left we've gotta do before summer ends Buster: And I've gotta do it all with you Rio: We will Rio: got ages, it'll be the best Rio: we can do something every day, like Buster: Let's go to the beach soon Rio: Yeah Rio: do you reckon we could get there and back without getting caught or Buster: 'Course Buster: It'll be easy Rio: Then we won't need to bring all the others Buster: It'll be loads better if it's just us Buster: One day I'm gonna have my own private beach but you can come Buster: 'Cause you're my best friend Rio: Promise now so you can't change your mind Buster: [does an IRL pinky promise lil link up of their fingers there and then excuse him everyone] Rio: [so buzzing] Rio: I'll cheer for you at matches then Buster: Yeah? Buster: Only when we're older and I'm richer or now too? Rio: Now too Rio: but I'll have to come visit your new house for that Buster: You will Rio: Good Rio: I wanna see your new rooms too Buster: Nance's will probably be boring Buster: Mine won't Rio: What colour are you gonna do Buster: Blue Rio: That'll look sick Rio: I hope when we come back for good, I get to do my room how I want it Buster: Will you get to have your own? Rio: I think so Rio: there's lots of rooms they just need sorting Buster: I'll help you 💪 Rio: then you can stay over ours Buster: Yeah Buster: It's a really short flight, I'm gonna come back whenever I want Rio: Do Rio: I almost forgot how much fun it is Rio: having you around Buster: I'm not letting you forget again Buster: Not even almost Rio: That's alright with me Rio: I don't wanna Buster: Good Buster: 'Cause I want us to stay best friends, okay? Buster: Forever Rio: and ever and ever Rio: no fairytale shit, I mean it Buster: So do I Buster: [giving her a look so she knows he does cos we all know what besties is code for here] Rio: [when you're so 😳 but also 😊 Nancy like hello???] Rio: We should find the scariest film we can tonight Buster: Definitely Buster: Just don't let Nance pick Rio: Will she be too 😱? Buster: Probably not Buster: Her taste is shitter than mine though Buster: Last film she chose had more subtitles than plot Rio: Such a cute nerd Rio: but summer = no homework so Rio: 👎 Soz babe Buster: 😏 Buster: I'll always be your fave now Rio: See what she's gonna over by way of private beaches and shit first Buster: She needs people to 📷 privacy ain't really gonna be on offer, like Rio: Unless she wants to take those kind of photos Buster: It's Nance Rio: True Buster: [chat to your sister boy cos you love her really] Rio: [lbr gonna need to entertain yours they'd be peak annoying] Buster: [oh lord Grace especially] Rio: [a 3 year old with no chill] Buster: [get them out of that car ASAP Cali step on it] Rio: can we get pizza Buster: Yeah Rio: 😁 Buster: But we're getting our own 'cause Nance won't grow the fuck up and stop being a vegetarian Rio: 😂 Rio: you can get whatever Rio: I'm not fussy Buster: You have to get what you want too Rio: Alright Rio: [sneaky looks forever] Buster: Good Buster: [such a look bye] Rio: Maybe we can all sleep in the lounge Buster: When did you start having properly good ideas? Buster: Just today like? Rio: Um always Rio: you just haven't been paying attention Buster: [another look cos we know he has] Rio: [look like well then] Buster: Smallest goes in the middle Rio: You definitely just made that up Buster: It makes sense if I did or I didn't Buster: You just don't need as much space, babe Rio: Just don't hog the covers Buster: I've already taught you enough 🥊 to stop me Rio: 😏 Rio: would keep us warm Buster: And a 👸 shouldn't ever be cold Rio: Practically a beheading offense, that Buster: Exactly Buster: And I'm not allowed to die yet Rio: Never Buster: [does another pinky promise like it's so casual] Rio: Will accept faux fur though Rio: don't have to murder any mink for me Buster: Well now your birthday present ain't gonna be a surprise Rio: 😂 Rio: my parents would probably throw paint at me, like so tah Buster: No animals have died, I'll make sure they know Rio: so considerate Buster: 🤴s have gotta be Buster: It's written in Rio: and best friends Rio: what are you gonna do for your birthday Buster: I don't know Buster: We were gonna go on holiday but mum and dad might say no now Rio: Maybe by then they'll be up for it again Buster: Me and Nance can't agree where to go anyway Rio: Typical Rio: where do you wanna go? Buster: She never wants to do anything I wanna do Buster: I've suggested loads of shit like scuba diving or surfing or skiing Rio: Maybe compromise Rio: there will be places where you can be doing that and she can do what she wants as well Buster: Do you wanna come? Rio: Your parents aren't gonna take me with yous Buster: They will if I say I want you to Rio: What if by then you have a new London best friend you'd rather take Buster: I'll probably have new friends but none I like as much as you Rio: okay, ask them Rio: when you know if you're going or not Rio: and I'll ask mine if they'll let me Buster: Alright Rio: [let you get out this car now like byeeee] Buster: [get in that house and fight over what pizza you want lads] Rio: [live your best sleepover lives, Nancy somehow oblivious to the vibe god bless] Buster: [love that oblivious lesbian] Rio: [wanna skip to later when Nancy is asleep or is there anything else?] Buster: [I think we can cos we know what the vibe is] Rio: Are you awake? Buster: Are you ready to be surprised? Rio: Go on Buster: [okay so my idea is baze have a hot tub in their dublin house but like he's made it cute/like a little beach vibe because who knows when they'll actually get to go and like sneakily set it up while she was distracted doing whatever with Nance over the course of this sleepover in dribs and drabs and like made cocktails for them as best as a little kid can and decorated and shit] Buster: Come on Rio: [That's the cutest shit I've ever heard like #overwhelmed does not begin to describe] Buster: [just looking at her like are you surprised/do you like it] Rio: [when you're like how do I avoid kissing you right now tbh] Buster: [forever the mood] Buster: [drink your drink girl it's okay] Rio: ['How'd you- WHEN did you-'] Buster: [😏 cos so proud of himself rn for being so #sneaky] Rio: [having to give him a massive hug 'cos that happy 'This is so cool, Buster'] Buster: [hugging her back way longer than you need to because we're hiding behind friendship so hard atm and we all know he wants to kiss her as much as she wants to kiss him] Rio: [make it more tense by literally getting in a hot tub like not calling you fat babe but Nancy's costume isn't gonna fit you right] Buster: [but it's that or getting in with your pjs on like this is all the boys I've loved before and risking them going see through] Rio: [ooh yeah I mean, an option] Buster: [and frankly a mood] nb Rio: [doing it, 'cos then you'll have to find her a t-shirt or something like] Buster: [casual moment under towels and blankets because oh no we didn't think that through or did we and now you're gonna have to wear my clothes what a casual situation] Rio: [honestly like okay do you both wanna die or] Buster: [we're so evil] Buster: [at least the drinks would be good cos he copied what he's seen baze do] Rio: [apart from the undeniable sexual tension, they'd be having a great time] Buster: [a hot tub is the literal best when you're a child that's the tea] Rio: [and now] Buster: [tbh] Buster: [don't get too carried away splashing etc and wake anyone up though like] Rio: [got to be so sneaky rn] Buster: [so many secrets for so many years bye] Rio: [have fun with that] Buster: [live your best lives while you can kiddos] Rio: [oh I was thinking she should've got him something touristy and stereotypically irish in town like a teddy and imma just put that on his bed space] Buster: [why am I so emosh about them as kids rn like calm down me] Buster: [it should have an irish football kit on or something cos that sporty bitch he is] Rio: [deffo or rugby, they're good at that] Buster: [yasss] Rio: know he's not blue but Buster: I'll still find a place for him Buster: Don't worry Rio: You can put him away, it's alright Rio: just a bit of Dubo to take with you Buster: I wanna see him every day if I can't see you Rio: I'm gonna miss you so much Buster: I'll miss you too Rio: shame I can't convince my parents they need to move to London next, eh Buster: Or I can't convince mine to just stay here Rio: should've got them something from the giftshop too Buster: I'm glad you only got something for me though Rio: I had a good day with you, not them so Buster: I won't tell Nance Rio: Good Rio: she'd be so jealous, obvs 😏 Buster: 'Course Rio: I'm glad the surprise was just for me too Buster: This whole summer is for you Rio: I'll take it Buster: I'm giving it to you Buster: Like it or not Rio: I want it Rio: you know that Buster: Yeah Rio: [thank god those 😍 are hidden in the dark now] Buster: [saving yourselves because he'd be wearing his too so] Rio: what else do you wanna do Buster: We have to go tourist watching of course Buster: See how they compare to the London ones soon enough, like Rio: I reckon the Dubo ones have more craic but are well more offensive with the stereotypes, like Buster: They can't wait to tell you all about their Irish blood even if they don't have any Buster: None of the tourists in the capital are trying to call themselves cockney Rio: Exactly Rio: still, wherever they are, you can tell the yanks a load of bullshit and they'll buy it Buster: Sell 'em a load of bullshit and they'll buy it as well Buster: But speaking of Irish blood I've thought of the best dare for you Rio: What? Buster: I dare you to dive off the rocks at the forty foot Buster: [basically it's this famous outdoor swimming spot year round that's lowkey a bit dangerous but nearby enough they could easily get there and therefore had to] Rio: Alright Rio: I'm down Buster: You have to do it properly Buster: Don't just jump in the water Buster: It don't count as a dare done if you don't go off the rocks Rio: I know Rio: I'll do it, not chicken Buster: I know Rio: We'll have to go when there's not loads and loads people about Rio: I'm very cute and saveable Buster: You don't need saving Buster: But if you did, I'll do it Rio: Tell that to concerned/nosy adults 🙄 Buster: I will Buster: [gets closer to her without even meaning to do it because] Rio: [a really quiet 'hey' 'cos don't be waking Nancy up] Buster: [just looking at her in the dark like 👀 how did I get this close oops] Rio: [a lowkey staring contest rn] Buster: [saying her name really quietly like] Rio: [makes a tiny noise that's somewhere between oh and a whimper] Buster: [let's say they hear a noise which could be outside or upstairs but it's enough to cockblock him from kissing her cos must be done since he'd be literally so close to her by now] Rio: [dramatically pretending to be asleep the way you do as a kid 'til the coast is clear but the moment is gone] Buster: [thanks foxes or whatever the fuck] Rio: [just laying there like well, shit] Buster: [you know he'd get up cos FUMING that I've cockblocked him when he was leaning so far in that there's no pretending that anything else was about to happen] Rio: [when you know there was a noise but you're still like oh no, I fucked that up] Buster: [All I can imagine is him getting his shit and going to his room because he is that dramatic] Rio: Night then Buster: Yeah Rio: yeah Buster: [isn't being quiet or chill rn soz everyone] Rio: You're gonna wake them up Rio: what do you need Buster: Unlikely Buster: When they sleep it's really hard to wake 'em Buster: These days Rio: Not a challenge though Buster: Can be Buster: If you want Rio: Not the best idea you've ever had Buster: It was your turn to have 'em Buster: For today Rio: Then listen to me, like Buster: Don't tell me what to do in my own house, like Rio: Alright Buster: I can do whatever I want Buster: [no you can't boy and that's the problem lol lol lol] Rio: And why do you wanna Buster: I can't sleep why should they all get to? Rio: Does it make you feel more normal again Rio: if they're shouting at you Buster: Shut up Rio: That would make sense, is all Buster: Don't make sense of me Rio: Why? Buster: You're not smarter than me, I don't need you to Rio: Who said I'm doing it for you Buster: You're saying it to me Buster: Like you know something I don't Rio: I just asked you why Buster: You're talking about making things normal as if I could Buster: But however loud I am there's meant to be a crying baby keeping everyone up Rio: That doesn't mean you wouldn't try Rio: still Buster: They shouldn't be sleeping Buster: None of us should be Rio: What do you want to do Buster: There's fuck all I can do Rio: What are you going to do Buster: I don't know Rio: You don't have to figure it out tonight Buster: Cheers Rio: You want them to wake up Buster: Why are we playing twenty questions all of a fucking sudden? Rio: Not a question Rio: wake 'em up Rio: but they're not gonna make it better like you want Rio: parents are very disapointing Buster: There ain't no making it better Buster: Even you can't Buster: I only forgot for a day Buster: [lowkey trashing his room cos angry and sad and remember when he did before and she was there then as well how poetic] Rio: [emotions] Rio: You can't forget about him Buster: It doesn't matter if I can't, I still have to Rio: That don't work Buster: You don't know that it won't Rio: It's impossible Buster: Nothing's impossible for me Rio: Until it is and now what Buster: You're wrong Rio: Wish I was Buster: You are Rio: You wouldn't be up there trashing your room if I was Buster: Fuck off Buster: It's your fault Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Rio: That's alright then Rio: easily solved Buster: You can't make me forget everything and then tell me it's a stupid idea Buster: Make me happy and then make me angry Rio: It isn't a stupid idea Rio: you aren't forgetting you're just carrying on Buster: It's the same thing Rio: I'm not trying to make you angry Buster: I know Rio: are you okay Rio: like, you aren't hurt or anything Buster: [comes back down cos he's not gonna sleep in that carnage but just sitting on the stairs like well this is fine] Rio: [nods her head in the direction of their sleeping situation and gets up 'I'll go in Nancy's room'] Buster: [comes over to her because wants to be close to her always 'Don't'] Rio: [casually checking him over but also handily not making eye contact 'cos can't 'you have to sleep'] Buster: [just making her lie back down and snuggling her because shameless] Rio: [allowing herself to get there 'cos he clearly needs to 'Buster, I just-' but shaking her head 'it won't happen again, okay'] Buster: [holding onto her like his life depends on it 'okay, it won't happen again' very convincing boy well done] Rio: [just stroking his hair] Buster: [calming down as she does 'Sorry'] Rio: [shhing him gently] Buster: [is he crying or isn't he, there's no way to know] Rio: [just telling him he's alright over and over] Buster: ['I didn't mean it, it's not your fault'] Rio: ['They can be two separate issues, it's not important'] Buster: ['it is to me and you are to me, don't fuck off, I don't want you to'] Rio: [holds him tighter like I'm still here] Buster: [literally just wrapped around each other by this point] Rio: ['I'm sorry too'] Buster: ['You ain't allowed to be 'cause you didn't do anything' but his voice is soft not his confrontational one] Rio: [shakes head 'cause we both know what almost happened but not putting words to that right now] Buster: [holds her tighter like I mean it 'cause blaming himself entirely for that as well since he was the one doing all that leaning] Rio: ['we didn't even get caught, it's so fine' kinda giving away that you don't regret it there but shh] Buster: ['we won't get caught going to the beach or the forty foot either, it'll be the best summer, I promise' just like I love you and I won't ruin this haha] Rio: [reaching out to pinky promise again] Buster: [doing it while we can cos Buster is gonna be a dickhead soon and outgrow being this cute egg RIP] Rio: [rip rip, also realised its edies bday on the 10th btw] Buster: [OMG I forgot how old is she gonna be?] Rio: [7] Buster: [should we let them snooze or is there any more feels we wanna inflict on ourselves?] Rio: [Hmm, probably sleep or this could get outta hand so easily lol] Buster: [Good point]

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

Ava & James

Ava: It's probably a lost cause Ava: but I lost my bracelet when we went out Ava: I remember having it in the first club but not after that Ava: If you're in the 2nd again, could you ask? Ava: No doubt it's long gone but James: I'll ring, I know the owner James: but I'll need a description, I don't remember what it looks like Ava: Thanks Ava: [sends picture like oh hey remember this face] James: [a long enough pause for him to have been trying to find this bracelet everywhere and she probably thinks he's fucked off] James: sorry, no joy Ava: Oh, no worries Ava: Cheers anyway, like James: did you go anywhere after? James: you could've had it on longer than you think Ava: I've already rang Kings, in case I left it in the dorm or something but no luck there either James: none with uber either James: kept me on hold for ages to let me know they don't have it Ava: Ugh, sorry Ava: Don't worry any more on it, it isn't sentimental or anything like that James: it was kind of a helping hand honestly, youngest liked the music they played, a very impromptu lullaby from an unexpected source Ava: Well, who knew hold music was good for anything but rage quits Ava: Unless they're now having a really angry nap James: 😂 James: that'll more likely be me later Ava: If you're lucky, yeah? James: if it hasn't run out Ava: Surely not James: they've both got some kind of hangover detector James: I'm sure you can imagine Ava: I've spent enough time with my nephew to know Ava: No sympathy from a toddler James: indeed Ava: Look, I don't know if I should even bring it back up but I'm sorry for how things went down that night James: I don't get caught up in regrets, remember Ava: I remember Ava: But I didn't Ava: I don't have bad intentions or anything, that's not me James: you've not struck me as someone who does Ava: How do I strike you? James: It was agreed I'd need longer than an evening to answer that Ava: I suppose Ava: First impressions can still be a thing James: it was a good first impression Ava: I'm glad James: but you're also sorry? Ava: I can't be both? James: you can Ava: So, you aren't sorry Ava: but are you glad? James: I can't be Ava: Yeah Ava: that's why I can't not be sorry James: It's me who should be sorry Ava: That's up to you Ava: if you don't do regrets you don't James: my actions don't only affect me Ava: I know Ava: Well, you won't get any trouble from me, like I said, not about that James: there's a line drawn under it James: you won't get any from me either James: [lies because you know he's bought her a replacement bracelet so she'll literally get that like the next day, boy we see you okay] Ava: Okay James: it was fun while it lasted, don't beat yourself up any harder James: the big glasses were cute but you shouldn't have to keep them on indefinitely Ava: Jesus Ava: Don't you know you're meant to pretend you didn't see that James: but walking around with your eyes & mouth closed all the time is very exhausting & I haven't had my nap yet Ava: I also have no sympathy for you, idiot James: I think you have some, but I don't blame you for not wanting to give it to me Ava: Nope, none Ava: I promise Ava: no space in my head James: oh Ava James: you have my sympathies, in that case Ava: Don't James: you don't want them? Ava: Let's say I don't do sympathies James: understood James: they are easy to get weighed down in Ava: and so rarely sincere James: it's reminiscent of wearing wet clothes, people only really want you to take them off in order to spare themselves the puddles James: they ask you if you're cold but they care about their floors Ava: Exactly Ava: and floors are more important 'round here Ava: and anything resembling sincerity is as unsightly as a damp mark on your new carpet James: the content I'll require for my English degree is writing itself Ava: Is that what you want to do, really? James: it's a question that'll get answered as often as it's asked Ava: How often do you get told what you want then James: daily at least Ava: How often does it come close James: it has yet to Ava: Oh James James: you don't do sympathies James: please never change on my account Ava: It could be empathy James: but is it? Ava: We'd need another night James: how many more bracelets have you got to lose? Ava: 😂 Ava: What kind of Chelsea girl do you take me for? James: you heard me say it was a good first impression Ava: 😏 I'd take a bow but can't risk losing any more jewels today James: we'll pretend you really did Ava: If that's what you're into, II James: what kind of Kensington boy do you take me for? Ava: Won't be the first to have a #scandal James: no trouble, need I remind you Ava: Just hypothetical, obviously James: you just hypothetically wanna know what I'm into? Ava: I just hypothetically hit the nail on the head James: if that's what you think, Ava Ava: Go on then Ava: Are you even gonna hypothetically tell the truth though? James: where's a hypothetical lie getting me? Ava: Away from hypothetical shame if it's weird shit Ava: I'm not one for hypothetical judgment though James: I'm not one for hypothetical shame Ava: Soooo Ava: 👀 James: I don't know, truthfully James: I'd need a whole hypothetical life, I suppose Ava: Fair Ava: It's a pretty bait question anyway James: you have an answer though, I can tell Ava: Singular? Ava: How rude James: 😂 James: because one leads to another not because you're hypothetically uninteresting Ava: Yeah, that's right Ava: about to be so hypothetically fuming James: you can have as many hypothetical apologies as you have interests, okay? Ava: No need to change on my behalf, however hypothetical James: what makes you think a personality change would be required Ava: Apologies are awful close to regret James: I'm not saying them to myself Ava: Try it out then Ava: See if I'm into it James: I'm really sorry I had to leave Ava: Me too Ava: but I don't think I'm about it, so you don't need to mention it again James: if you don't want me to, I won't Ava: I figure you owe enough sorries to more important people Ava: I'm good, honest James: I'm happy to hear it James: & not looking to mess anything up for you, hypothetically or actually Ava: I know Ava: You haven't Ava: it isn't my business so you know, no obligation to answer Ava: but why did you get married so young? James: because I had a baby to raise that young Ava: Yeah James: I wanted to do something that would actually help, at least shut up our parents because there was no silencing all the horrible things everyone else was saying James: It wasn't fair to treat her suddenly like public enemy number 1, not for that Ava: That makes sense Ava: I can see the logic James: It was a mistake we both made, I couldn't just leave her to it James: but I don't know, maybe we'd have both been better off if we'd approached it differently James: as parents but not a couple Ava: Well, it isn't permanent Ava: You can still do that Ava: Co-parent, that's not leaving her to it James: She won't let that happen Ava: It won't be easy Ava: It's weighing up if the now is worse than how invariably shit divorce is James: every time I try to leave I'm not allowed to see or speak to them until I go back James: she gets everyone on her side, including my parents Ava: If you go through official avenues, she won't just be able to do that Ava: She can't say you're unfit because you're not Ava: That's so shit and Ava: not right James: but she'll get my daughter to say that she hates me & doesn't wanna see me by telling her that's what I'm saying, I know she'll turn them both against me long before anything gets officially sorted out James: last time I walked out she told Jay so many things that aren't true Ava: She'd say that to a kid? Ava: Her kid? Ava: what's wrong with her James: I've given up trying to figure out everything that is Ava: You can't do this forever Ava: You deserve better Ava: you don't get to fuck someone over because you have a kid with them, imagine it reversed, how much of a bad guy you'd be then, it's no different just because she's the mum James: I'll send them both away to school when they're older, but for now I have to do this Ava: How do you do it Ava: How have you lasted this long, never mind how long that will be James: I see my children every day, it makes everything else bearable James: & I know they need that Ava: Yeah Ava: They're the most important thing Ava: but you matter as well, you can't Ava: I don't know James: for better or worse, right? Ava: You don't get to pick one each though, like James: I made my bed, Ava James: everyone told me not to marry her but I did Ava: 'cos you thought it was the right thing Ava: it shouldn't function as a lifelong punishment James: I never thought it was right James: I just wanted to be a better dad than I've got James: & that was the only way she'd let me Ava: That's a good reason Ava: even if it turned out not to be the best idea James: bad ideas have been around longer than she has James: I can't remember when I last had a good one James: I'd have been younger than you Ava: It's hard to make them when you have to commit to the worst, like Ava: you've gotta do something for you Ava: just 'cos you wanna Ava: or you'll lose it James: I will if you'll meet me for coffee James: I wanna see you again Ava: Okay Ava: I'd like to see you too James: tomorrow? Ava: I can do that Ava: What time, I have lunch at 1 or I can do after 5 James: lunch works Ava: Cool Ava: Looking forward to it James: I am too Ava: 😊 James: [when you're gonna have to go so far away for your date so you don't get spotted lol] Ava: [honestly should defs say its a school day so you ain't getting back for afternoon classes but that's not so wild anyone is like hello??? but start the sneaking as you mean to go on] James: [literally gonna spend half her lunch break on-route in the car cos London so we gotta but at least we can say it's an uber mood again so he's not driving] Ava: [I'll do some before 'cos like is he gonna show nerves] Ava: We still on for lunch time? James: nothing else has come up Ava: 👍 Ava: I'll book my ride James: I'll pick you up Ava: Are you sure? James: sure that we don't need 2 separate ubers going to the same place? yes Ava: fair point Ava: but I'll definitely get the coffees then James: no you won't Ava: The post came before I left this morning Ava: you really didn't have to do that Ava: but you did, so I can definitely get you a latte or whatever your particular shade of coffee is James: I didn't want leave you bracelet-less & me close to having a regret James: so I kind of did have to Ava: Well, when you put it like that Ava: thank you, it was one of my favourites actually Ava: didn't wanna push for that regret too hard though James: now you won't have to Ava: The coffee being bitter over the company definitely sounds like a better plan James: you don't have to order coffee, you know Ava: I'll probably get an iced drink of some description Ava: ☀🥵 James: too much sunbathing between classes? Ava: 😏 Ava: I'm sure the dons would say any is too much Ava: but I'm still pretty pale James: I'm correcting that to still pretty Ava: Gonna look like a 🍅 now James: who doesn't like 🍅? James: bloody marys are fantastic for one Ava: Now I know you have good taste James: in drinks at least Ava: and 🍅s thank you James: potentially everything but wives & uni courses Ava: Don't make me laugh because it's definitely not funny James: but hypothetically how smitten would I be if you did laugh? Ava: Oh, head over heels, of course Ava: like 👼s singing James: I thought so Ava: Don't wanna hypothetically disappoint James: it's not even hypothetically possible Ava: Your level of hypothetical trust is cute James: your level of hypothetical modesty is unnecessary Ava: Fine, but it's your fault when I don't fit my hypothetical hat James: I'll buy you a bigger one James: hypothetically Ava: You going to hypothetically redress me piece by piece? James: I'm not falling into the trap of you thinking I'm saying I need to James: there's nothing wrong with how you dress Ava: I'm not even hypothetically that sly Ava: Straightforward and to the point, yeah? James: it's what I like about you Ava: You're pretty good at it yourself James: game playing has never got me anywhere I want to be Ava: Games rely too much on chance and luck for my liking Ava: someone has to lose James: precisely James: as much as I'd potentially hate losing to you less than I would to lots of other people, it's still better as a hypothetical Ava: No games, I promise James: I'm taking that to also mean no more pool at the vault & you can't stop me Ava: 😱 Ava: You're really going to make me enroll just to get back in that VIP venue? Ava: Rude James: 😂 James: seeing you every day would be fun but putting fun ahead of all things academic gets you where I currently am in life James: I can't do that to you, even hypothetically Ava: You can hypothetically follow me for your next course Ava: I'm a great study buddy James: unless you're going abroad somewhere to study Ava: Unless you count SE as abroad Ava: lord knows many of our peers do 🙄 James: in that case, following you sounds close to a good idea Ava: 🤏 Ava: I'll find a way to hypothetically swing it Ava: the world needs your writing, II James: I've never been more devastated to have a job waiting for me that isn't strictly hypothetical Ava: I's doing, I suppose Ava: What are you going do instead of write your great novel about me? James: you'll have to look out for my self published works written by night under an obvious pseudonym Ava: I will Ava: Will you sign my copy? James: of course James: under your printed dedication Ava: I'll have to think of an excellent pseudonym myself James: can you do 1 other, simpler thing for me before then? Ava: I'm sure I can? James: order for me something you like James: I don't know what I want Ava: I like a challenge Ava: Okay James: do you want me to tell you if I don't share the liking of it or not? Ava: 'Course Ava: 'cos I need to find you something you do like James: if time doesn't run out Ava: We can have more lunches too Ava: as well as evenings James: that'd be good James: I'd hate to only see you in the dark Ava: That's mutual James: if I wrote us meeting exclusively at night everyone would assume I'd decided on a vampire novel James: so I'm happy to hear it Ava: I think its making a comeback Ava: and I'd definitely buy you as an Edward Cullen type James: I have no clue if I should be flattered or offended Ava: A potentially complex issue, a complex character beyond the sparkles Ava: I just meant you'd be eligible for dreamboat status James: you're saying I should make a detour to buy the book or download the film to my phone right now or I shouldn't? Ava: Will we have time to watch it together is the real question Ava: Because I have to pop your 🍒 James: is it a 90 minutes is all you need kind of film or 3 hours of lingering close ups? Ava: 126 James: I can do that Ava: Yeah? James: skipping a lecture I have no desire to be in to further my hypothetical masterpiece of a novel in the early stages of its development, that's a fantastic idea Ava: 💡 Ava: Was bound to have one eventually Ava: Let's do it then James: you're claiming not to have had any before now? Ava: In my life, obviously Ava: but with you? 'close to a good idea' is as close as I've got so far James: I won't deny you the opportunity to get closer then Ava: Thank you Ava: You can find out if it's only hypothetical that I'm unable to disappoint James: I feel like I already know that Ava: You've had a taste Ava: but you can have more Ava: if you want it James: I do Ava: Okay Ava: Good James: but it's never going to be as simple as words like okay or good Ava: It could be Ava: I'm not saying all the time Ava: or even that we can always give 126 minutes to it Ava: but whatever we can James: you can't say all the time because I can't ever give you all the time James: I can't give you any more gifts or regular dates or even selfies Ava: I know that Ava: I'm not asking for any of that James: but you should James: because you're free to do whatever you want with whoever you want Ava: Exactly James: why this? Ava: because you need somebody Ava: and I like you James: oh Ava Ava: It is as simple as that James: I'll try that out, see if I can believe it Ava: I know nothing else is but Ava: why not Ava: I want to and you don't need to buy that or promise time you haven't got James: for as long as you want to then Ava: for as long as you need me then James: no because James: my life isn't going to change Ava: James James: you don't know what she's like but I know everything she's ever done or is likely to do Ava: People like that don't stop, I know that Ava: they have to be stopped James: there's no stopping her Ava: Well there's no stopping me either and I'm on your side James: you don't need this Ava: I told you, I like you Ava: I won't just turn my back on you James: I can have this car turned around, you don't have to do anything Ava: Of course I don't have to Ava: and neither do you, not with me Ava: you don't owe me anything, I'm just telling you how it is for me Ava: and I want to see you James: I want to see you too, more than when I originally said it Ava: Good Ava: Then don't turn around, yeah? James: I always do the wrong thing, I don't want to, to you James: so if you don't want me to turn around, I won't Ava: I want you to do what you want, that's all Ava: even if that was turning around, which, undeniably, would be shit but I'd survive Ava: but you wanna come, I'm almost 100% James: understood Ava: Okay Ava: I've got a great urge to tell you I'm not insane but that makes me sound more so so I'll just Ava: 😶 James: you haven't once struck me as being & I have some experience, as it were Ava: That's alright then Ava: It's a comparison I don't need, you either, I'm sure James: just don't insist I marry you & it won't ever need to be made Ava: Easy Ava: Got my word James: if only I had your skill at losing jewellery Ava: It is a talent, definitely; but unteachable? Nah James: now you've got a great urge to teach me something James: okay Ava: So many whims, only so much time Ava: Lucky I'm an excellent teacher James: very novel protagonist-esque, honestly James: you're earning your page space Ava: If fictional me gets slated as dull I'll have to change my pseudonym and run away James: you couldn't be hypothetically dull if you actually tried James: never mind close to anything else Ava: You always know just what to say yet I still believe it sincere James: it is sincere James: from the kings head shaving horror stories until now Ava: I'm confident believing it, and you Ava: because boys who always know what to say always say the wrong things James: maybe 126 minutes later I will have Ava: That's okay Ava: a mix of right and wrong Ava: that's real Ava: anything other and you're definitely up to something Ava: 😇 or 😈 either way James: I gave you a real tour the moment you asked for it, that's 😇 Ava: It felt it James: I'm not going to leave in the middle this time James: strictly end credits Ava: Don't promise Ava: that's practically begging fate James: well that's the last thing I want, my lips are sealed Ava: Your lips are Ava: 😈 James: if that means yours have to be described as 😇 I'm fine with it Ava: See? Ava: You're too good with words James: they're a very prominent feature, I couldn't help but notice Ava: I like that you notice Ava: Do it some more James: because I'm not sure I could stop if you didn't like it, it's a relief that you do Ava: Don't stop Ava: then I don't have to either James: very fair Ava: 😇 James: how far can we push that angelic streak to one side because I'm here early James: can you leave? Ava: Lessons are barely real at this point in the summer term and it isn't as if I've been paying any attention all day so Ava: Give me 10 to 'fake' needing to go lie down James: I'm not having any PTSD symptoms from being here quite yet James: take as long as you require Ava: Honestly Ava: Least it is undeniably too hot for the blazer so I won't trigger you into leaving without me James: I'm undeniably sure the way you wear it wouldn't make me wanna leave Ava: God, you are so distracting and fully aware what you're doing to me right now James: in 10 minutes, or preferably less, you'll have a car to lie down in should you suddenly really need to James: meaning I regret nothing Ava: Bad man Ava: The blush is admittedly helping my case here James: I'm not gonna lie & say if you aren't still wearing that I'll go without you but James: I do want to see it Ava: I'd say there's 0% chance of you not seeing it and a full 100% of me being unable to hide it James: 🍅 right, of course Ava: The dangers of being pale Ava: why I need this tan Ava: obviously James: how far does it go? is 😳 going to colour in your tan lines like a modern art piece James: if so that's a must for my book cover Ava: Well now we have to see how inspiring you find it Ava: even if you can't take any 📸 James: physically no, but mentally I'll take so many Ava: You're too pretty for photographs anyway Ava: you don't even look real in person James: how can you say that about another person when you look like you belong on a chapel ceiling or somewhere equally beautifully crafted? Ava: I Ava: I'm just Ava: on my way James: you can't miss me, the engine's on & the song choices are questionable James: it's very low profile Ava: Got to get the driver onboard, for future 126s James: I'll ask him if he has any knowledge of the Twilight soundtrack Ava: 😂 Ava: It goes hard, FYI James: he looked at me like he's a believer about that James: absolute Ava: Then we won't have to invite him to our viewing party Ava: Thank God James: it'd be taking politeness to new heights James: he is going to play it for us though Ava: I'm gonna tip him so hard James: It's taken care of by me James: you've agreed to hypothetically buy out everything in this coffee place in search of something I'll enjoy so Ava: Okay Ava: so if you're being polite then can I be slightly 😒 at his presence 'cos I really need to be alone with you right now? James: it's a reasonable request James: more so than the one I'd like to ask of you Ava: Go on Ava: There's clearly room and time for the unreasonable James: Ava, I hear how much you don't want to waste any of the borrowed time we're basically forced to be on, but can you please walk slowly for my mental picture gallery Ava: [Does, obviously] James: [😍 clearly as the twilight soundtrack begins to blast from this vehicle so casually] Ava: [and what a mental image that is, doing a mini run at the end 'cos excitement and nerves] James: [it's fine cos we all know he'd have to resist the urge to lowkey drag her into the car despite what he said, looking like you're getting snatched from the school gates lol] Ava: [thank God your teachers are useless and we can but hope there's no window some kid is staring that hard out] James: [just staring at her taking all those mental 📷s again though as soon as she's in] Ava: [the blush is so real and she knows it] James: [if she's blushing already wait until the kiss he initiates because obvs it'd be as hardcore as their first one but like it'd be so much more intense not only cos he wants her more but also because he wants more time to do this now. Everything would be so slow and deliberate like he's gotta savour every possible way he can kiss her and every possible tiny reaction each thing he does has] Ava: [well enjoy boy because she will be dying in all the ways like there's no hiding from the casual anticipation that has built up here] James: [they both just die there and then #plot twist] Ava: [or this driver reports you 'cos you've just picked up someone from school and started getting it on lmao, luckily you not being paid to think so shh] James: [oh my god imagine, please just drive and groove to the epic bops thank you sir] Ava: [she's 17 now we're so fine lollol] James: [he does not know that but I hope James does] Ava: [he's done a stalk, her bday wasn't that long ago in the feed] James: [true, I hope you had an epic bday babe] Ava: [no doubt baby, so we've got a pretty good plan of their afternoon plans, is there anything else we wanna say went down?] James: [good question, realistically they'd probably run out of time but also I am highkey so I'm like give them forever lol] Ava: [I assume he usually picks Jay up from School 'cos unless Chloe wanna turnt up at the gates why would she, so that'd be 3.30 say so they've got from 1ish, Chloe would still have the baby and thinks he's in class so we do have a fair whack of time] James: [not gonna let you waste all of that trying everything on a coffee shop menu, don't worry guys] Ava: [although a moment you need all the moments] James: [gotta find him something he genuinely likes cos his missus be ordering for him everywhere they go] Ava: [oat milk flat white] James: [chin chin gals] Ava: [But yeah I don't think we need a Chloe interruption this time 'cos he'll have a time he has to go anyway so suck it bitch] James: [there will be plenty of opportunities to do more of them anyway] Ava: [when your wife is controlling and crazy] Ava: [I was thinking for when we get the whole 'I don't think Jay is his' moment rolling, maybe if she finds out he's cheating again or whatever she does the typical 'she ain't even yours!' and maybe she's done it before so James just thinks she's bullshitting 'cos she's crazy but Ava is like hmm shall we like explore that though 'cos it's not 'neither of them are yours' it's always just Jay] James: [that is actually perfect though] Ava: ['cos it can escalate when she inevitably finds out it's Ava 'cos sleuthing or maybe at some point they wanna be out 'cos fuck it and she's taking it way more personal than any other girl and it's like why though so then the Buster link can come out even if she accidentally drops it 'cos so mad] James: [we all know Chloe is that bitch 100%] Ava: [🙌] James: [do we wanna do any more convo like once he had to leave or shall we post it and move on] Ava: [I'll do a lil bit 'cos straightforward, highkey and cute tbh] James: [allowing it] Ava: I hope I didn't make you late at all Ava: and that your girls like the Twilight soundtrack James: if they don't they've inherited their mother's bad taste & they've got bigger problems ahead than me being a few minutes late Ava: Obviously Ava: but I'm just saying, don't be too disappointed, no one can like it as much as you 😏 James: I don't believe that you don't like it as much as me Ava: It is more than just a hypothetical that I enjoyed myself Ava: soundtrack included but not my favourite part James: I couldn't possibly be disappointed by anything else knowing that Ava: Disappointment is not in my vocabulary right now James: you won't need to add it back in on my behalf Ava: I believe that James: when can I see you again? Ava: You tell me Ava: There are four more films James: 4? Ava: They split the last book into two, such a gimmick but you know James: I promise not to do that when I write yours Ava: Well, if I get to play myself maybe I won't mind the exposure 🤔 James: I'm not sure that I want to play myself James: in which case I would mind the increased screentime you'd then have with whoever does Ava: There's no finding anyone else with eyes as blue as yours Ava: Gonna blow the special effects budget James: 😂 Ava: I'm so serious Ava: and jealous James: I'll describe your eyes as bluer & your skin as more tan, if you like Ava: I like your candor, remember Ava: More than I'd like to be remembered as tanned and having the bluest eyes James: I'd like to remember you exactly as you are Ava: Don't say we have to leave it that long to see each other again James: not quite Ava: My parents have a 4-day business trip Fri-Mon, you could come over at some point then? James: the weekend is not going to happen but I can make Monday work James: Friday possibly Ava: Okay Ava: Not quite coffee shop level but we've got all sorts for you to try out James: you sounded like your brother then, almost James: not that he's ever propositioned me in exactly the same way Ava: Awkward Ava: I'll try and avoid that then😬😂 James: awkward will be if your parents haven't decorated since I was last there Ava: Thankfully they have Ava: and I haven't insisted on taking his room James: or your sister's? Ava: Spent loads of time in there too? Ava: no, I've got my own room James: not with her, obviously James: but you know how parties tend to overspill into every room Ava: 'Course James: are you going to have one? Ava: Undecided Ava: I'll have some people over at the weekend but it might be pretty chill James: is Teddy included in the some people? Ava: I don't know Ava: Would you like him not to be or? James: I don't know Ava: I get that it could be weird Ava: It's strange thinking how close you used to be with Buster James: but that was basically another life James: for me & for him Ava: Yeah Ava: well, I don't have to invite him, like I said, I don't even know what I fancy doing yet James: it's up to you Ava: I know Ava: It's James: it's not my business, Ava James: I shouldn't have asked Ava: No Ava: It's not not Ava: I know things are complex but I don't feel bad for her, you know Ava: I don't feel bad for doing it James: me either but not only because of the no regrets thing Ava: So it just feels weird to feel like guilty or something around your brother when I'm not Ava: He doesn't need to know and won't but it doesn't need to be any weirder than it would be if I dated any of my friend's siblings under more 'normal' circumstances James: understood Ava: Yeah? Ava: It's hard to explain James: I'm following it Ava: Not saying we are dating or Ava: you know James: I can't have a girlfriend, but if I could Ava: Really James: you'd be a good choice Ava: but I ain't James: why not? Ava: I don't know Ava: never mind James: Ava Ava: Ignore me, I don't know what I mean Ava: It's not important James: I don't want to ignore you Ava: Okay Ava: but we can talk about other things James: any topic you want Ava: Hmm Ava: Tempting but vague James: I assumed you'd prefer it over boring & specific Ava: A fair assumption Ava: What are you doing tonight though, ell me about your boring and specific James: I can't pinpoint specific dad duties as such, not with these two James: I could be gluing a doll house back together or walking an imaginary dog Ava: A handyman and a dogwalker Ava: either way, never a dull moment James: & that's without factoring in the possibility I could be dragged to a dinner party or subjected to guests arriving expecting champagne & nibbles with no prior knowledge or warning James: on any night James: how are you spending yours? Ava: Of course Ava: Expect no less from this town's leading socialite Ava: I've been summoned to a catch-up and 'homework' sesh as I didn't get back for last period Ava: the amount of messages, assumedly missed the second coming 🤷 James: I'm surprised you're not assumed to be too 'sick' to go James: maybe you shouldn't play yourself in my film either Ava: 😧 Ava: Um rude Ava: Maybe you need to try harder to make me 🍅 James: starting Friday or starting now? James: because how I would in person is not what I'm going to be able to do here Ava: Admittedly both sound intriguing James: so let's do both James: [sends her some kind of 💣🔥 sext because words are all they have as we all know what'll happen if you start sending pics, then she will and it's a whole dangerous thing] Ava: Oh Ava: and I was trying to avoid the cliche of telling you I missed you already James: there's no need to dismiss every cliche off hand James: some of them are good Ava: Some of them are very good Ava: remember when you write your book James: you'll remind me, right? James: I think we can assume too that writer's block isn't one of the enjoyable cliches Ava: I'll do my best Ava: Some protagonist I'd be otherwise James: very fair James: I'll do mine, in turn Ava: I have every faith in your way with words Ava: You've not gone wrong there yet James: [sends her another text because why not obvs, not like you're a busy man with a fam having an affair or anything] Ava: [God bless the multitask] Ava: James James: yes? Ava: It's going to be a really hard wait 'til Monday James: I'll fit you in Friday James: even if it's only an hour Ava: If you're gonna make it sound like a dentist appointment 😏 James: not the most original excuse but it'd still get you out of school Ava: Cheek 😂 Ava: My excuses are A* James: I don't doubt it James: but I don't want to find out by having you use any on me Ava: Just for you James: okay James: there's no excuses needed to keep posting selfies, is there? so I'll see you every day until Friday actually Ava: Of course Ava: Be dead suspect if I didn't tbh Ava: Can you post one? Ava: Even if you're in the background fulfilling whatever role is required at that precise moment James: for you, I will Ava: 😊 James: look out for it Ava: No.1 fan right here James: you're joking but you're not wrong Ava: Am I? 👀🤔 James: aren't you? Ava: I'll never tell Ava: Got to keep some mystery or who's gonna want to turn the page James: oh you want a mystery at the heart of this James: I see Ava: Does that not gel with your plan for the plot? James: I'll incorporate it after a quick brainstorm Ava: Hot James: 😈 Ava: Mhmm James: you're hot, I'm just lucky Ava: How so? James: to get to spend any time with you Ava: Oh please Ava: You're very good company James: most people are capable of being for a few hours Ava: Who do you know? Ava: Have to introduce me 😏 James: 😂 do you mind if I don't? Ava: I think I'll manage James: I'm happy to hear it Ava: For now, I need to be filled in on the gossip Ava: tell you if any of it is story-worthy James: do your work too please James: I'd like to follow you to a good uni Ava: Are you telling me what to do now? Ava: Don't hate that James: it's a nicely worded suggestion for now Ava: Noted 😇 James: you're going to be good then? Ava: I promised I'd be no trouble James: I know you did Ava: And I'll try really, really hard to keep that promise Ava: even if you make that difficult James: I'm trying really hard not to get in the car & come find you James: I don't think I have to tell you how difficult that is Ava: Damn responsibilities Ava: We can have all Monday though Ava: think about that when it gets tough Ava: I will James: I am Ava: 💙

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Janis & Grace

Janis: What's this I hear about a bitch fight, like? Grace: ugh can you NOT please Janis: Is it true though Grace: it wasn't a fight okay I just lost my chill like Grace: moving on Janis: 💔 Janis: shame Janis: what happened then Grace: I don't wanna talk about it Janis: I mean I'd ask her but she ain't responding either Janis: very unlike Mia Grace: I didn't hit her that hard but sure Grace: she'll be watching a tutorial for like fake bruises or whatever obvs Grace: make me look worse Janis: again, gutted Janis: but seriously Janis: why'd you finally lose it with the bitch Grace: ask Pablo Janis: ? Janis: what's he got to do with it Grace: while you were getting with barista boy on the school trip they were also hooking up at some party Janis: no way Janis: what the fuck Grace: he didn't even try & deny it Grace: I literally can't with either of them Janis: Jesus Janis: kinda wish I didn't know now Janis: 🤢 Grace: UM yeah same Grace: but she just had to tell me cos I was dealing with a lot that wasn't about her Janis: well yeah Janis: sitting on that one 'til the best time Janis: cow Janis: should've hit her hard, I'd have shown you Grace: I'm not trying to get sued babes Grace: & it wasn't like I decided to hit her or anything Janis: wouldn't waste a court's time with that shite Janis: daddy not trying to get done for wasting resources really Janis: did think Pablo had better taste, tbh Janis: well, not really but you know Grace: Ew don't call him daddy Grace: I can't even be angry right Grace: I should've just kept crying like I always do Janis: Come on Janis: smacking her ones the best thing you ever did Janis: felt good, yeah? Grace: you'd have done it better Janis: still can, like Janis: have to be a decent apology for that Janis: 💰💰💰 at least Grace: if you do, vlog it & send me the footage Grace: I can't be here Grace: I literally have to leave Janis: where are you gonna go? Grace: idk Grace: I can't think rn Janis: You at home? Grace: obvs not they all think I'm mental there Grace: this isn't gonna help Janis: Hardly Janis: she deserved it Janis: how long do you need Janis: away, like Grace: if I'm freaking out now it'll be worse when she retaliates so ????? Grace: & when school starts Grace: OMG LITERALLY WHAT AM I GONNA DO? Janis: Calm down Janis: okay, you'll be fine Janis: contrary to her word being law in your circle, no one actually gives a fuck what she says Janis: anyway Janis: you said you have loads of shit on her, right? Grace: everyone needs to stop telling me to calm down Grace: you don't even understand Grace: she knows as much about me Grace: this is so bad Janis: exactly Janis: so if she's got any brains, she won't be spreading it Janis: if you don't move, she can't, yeah Grace: but I did Grace: I literally hit her Janis: you don't do things like that, you lot Janis: you didn't post anything about her or her and Pablo, did you Grace: I don't want anyone knowing that ever happened, why would I? Janis: see, wouldn't that be much worse Janis: to her Janis: how you lot operate Janis: she'll make up some story about why you hit her, if she chooses to go for that angle Janis: but she knows you've got all the real shit if she's gonna try anything else Janis: stalemate Grace: Yeah, I guess Janis: I'm sure Janis: school'll be fine Grace: UM how?? it's already rubbish & now I've got no one Janis: join the club Janis: just show up, do your lessons Janis: go town on your lunch break Janis: easy Grace: You've got your bf Grace: don't do him like that Janis: I didn't before, did I Janis: never mind just last term Grace: you didn't want one before Janis: no lad at that school, maybe Grace: I'm gonna have to get one now Grace: ugh Grace: 🙏🙏 there's some party tonight or something Janis: how's that the solution Grace: to not being alone? well duh Grace: who's single rn? 🤔🤔🤔 Janis: 🙄 honestly Grace Grace: excuse you Grace: I'm trying to be pro-active here Janis: you've lost your friend not girlfriend Janis: that's what you should be aiming for Grace: she was my friend for like 10 years, most of my relationships don't last 10 days Grace: I obvs can't just find a new bestie Janis: you can try Janis: that's what you want Janis: what boyfriend has ever been good company Grace: yeah cos she was so good for me Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: not the kind of good I meant Janis: a lad ain't gonna chat about reality telly with you and reapply lippy in the loos Grace: a gay one maybe Janis: if you want a gay bff you go for it Janis: bit problematic but sure we can let it slide Grace: all I actually need is someone whose arm I can be on in the halls & whatever Grace: boys are easy to get Grace: easier than friends anyway Janis: alright Janis: if you say so Grace: duh then I can say I dumped my friends for my man Janis: well they are your friends Janis: so they'll know you haven't Grace: no-one else will tho Janis: I'm not sure anyone else will be too concerned Grace: rude Janis: why? Janis: it's the truth Janis: not like the entire school is on the edge of their seat every time you two fall out Grace: obvs they are too busy watching you & your boy Grace: that doesn't make me utterly irrelevant thank you Janis: why are you getting offended Janis: it's not a performance Janis: just do what you want Grace: Oh sure Grace: I told you idk how to be different Janis: it's a good chance Janis: you've got a couple of days Janis: don't be rash, like Grace: I'm so not ready to just like overhaul my life excuse me Janis: it's shit, right Janis: what do you actually have to lose Grace: I told you on that school trip, if I try & I'm still the worst, what then? Janis: go back to faking it with vigor Janis: no one will know, like Grace: I will Grace: & you since it's your suggestion Janis: who am I telling Janis: not even a good secret Grace: ugh Grace: I'm freaking out, I can't commit to anything if it's not a detox, babes Grace: & even then Janis: boyfriend probably ain't the one then Janis: it's what Janis: 7 weeks if you wanna survive the first term Janis: maybe more? Grace: OMG don't Janis: Hell that's only half term, even Janis: then that'll end and it's more drama Janis: don't need that Grace: that's like 7 boys I need to find Janis: you can't just line 'em all up Grace: tragically Janis: could always transfer Grace: do you think mum and dad will let me? Janis: I wasn't being serious but they probably would Janis: just say Mias shoved your head down the bog Grace: EW Grace: did work for Nancy though so Grace: devastated I can't go to Chelsea Janis: mm did it Janis: she did try to fuck her special ed teacher Grace: Oh yeah Grace: & she wasn't even cute Grace: awks Janis: 🙄 Janis: and her twin has ended up inbreeding so don't reckon much to his fine education tbh Grace: Maybe I should hook up with Mia's dad Janis: don't be grim Grace: He's not hot but he is rich Janis: only relevant if you marry him Janis: and her mum is still very much alive and you'd have to last a while to be written in Janis: if ever Grace: I probably look too young for him to be 😍😍😍 anyway Grace: I'll hit him up post surgery if I'm still bitter Janis: you know people have surgery to look younger Janis: what kind of surgeon you found that's gonna make you a grandma Grace: 😂😂 Janis: I mean you will anyway Janis: your desired aesthetic ends up looking Donatella Versace when the filler starts to drop out Grace: gross Janis: He'll defs have a secretary he's banging, they always do Janis: just send a confession to her house and watch the fireworks, like Grace: that's a secret I already know, babes Grace: Mia caught him forever ago Janis: awh Janis: she does have a 💘 Grace: she has an even bigger allowance cos of too Janis: 'course Janis: got that to look forward to, Venus Janis: pretend to be her and tell then, even more trouble Grace: Do you want me to change or not? Janis: no one said you need to be a nun about it Janis: and if you ain't up for round 2 Grace: Yeah okay Janis: Seriously Janis: you don't need to worry Grace: it's fine for you, you don't care what anyone says or thinks or does Janis: yeah Janis: well she's a cunt Janis: why let her get to you Grace: it's not like I want her to Grace: she just does Janis: had 10 years to perfect it, I guess Grace: mhmmm Janis: don't mean you need another 10 Janis: fake that it doesn't get to you, like you said Grace: idk if I even can but sure Janis: why not Janis: you fake everything else, right Grace: & everyone's seeing through it rn Janis: doesn't have to be a bad thing Grace: Pablo called me mental & he got with Mia Janis: Pablo calls everyone and everything mental Janis: his vocab is lacking along with his brain, like Grace: 😂 Janis: doubt he was aiming for a soul-reaching read Janis: just a moody twat, yeah Grace: it's so okay for boys to have moods like it just makes them look hotter if anything but if a girl our age does anything she's mental Grace: is anyone in this fam calling him out for sleeping with girls at parties he says he doesn't know, no just me getting slutshamed Janis: that's misogyny, kid Janis: and I'm sure we're all very disappointed with him for it, like Janis: but as you said, everyone's seeing through you rn so Grace: my feet hurt I can't even run away Grace: I'm putting my coffee cup on the ground & giving up Grace: throw some euros in it if you come this way Janis: if you come here you can earn 'em and think about something else for a bit Grace: ?? Janis: we wanna go out Janis: the kid already knows you so come watch him for a few hours, yeah Janis: better hiding place than wherever you've got to Grace: before I say yeah, is his sister there too? Janis: I can assure you she'll be out as soon as she gets the chance Grace: Okay Janis: she's like Gus' age Janis: she can take care of herself Grace: as long as that's the only way she's like Gus Janis: 😏 Janis: bit rude but yeah Grace: oh come on, he's a lot Janis: 😂 and you're not Grace: that's why I can say it duh Janis: so is that a yeah or what Grace: I'm omw Janis: good stuff Grace: I need to fix my makeup first so Janis: so you'll be five hours Janis: come on Grace: Shut up Grace: I can't do it in a moving car, I'll look worse than I do now Janis: as long as you aren't rocking a 🤡 look I don't think the kid will mind Grace: you and the love of your life will still have to let me in Grace: what are you wearing? am I gonna have to be fake nice about it Janis: it's cool, he doesn't think you're nice, like Janis: told him what a bitch you are, obvs Grace: thanks babes Janis: any time 🖤 Grace: 💜 Janis: anyway, you'd be here for it Grace: Yeah? Janis: it's stupid Janis: had to dress up 'cos not fully sure where we're going so Grace: that's soooo cute Janis: alright Janis: that's enough Grace: I didn't even start Grace: so mean Janis: I know Grace: Do you want me to do your makeup? Janis: I don't think we'll have time Janis: takes an age don't it Grace: for me cos I have problem areas Grace: it wouldn't take like any time to do yours Janis: okay go on Janis: but we can't make him wait forever so it really does have to be speedy Grace: OMG really?? Grace: I promise, like 10 mins Janis: 👌 Janis: why not Grace: yay Janis: love the enthusiasm, babe Grace: Babes, if you could see me rn Grace: 🙌💜🙌 Grace: but if I get too excited I'll never get there Janis: I know it's shit Janis: but she's been shit for a long time Grace: & I know that Janis: yeah Janis: well Bobby will be happy to see you Grace: duh it's totally mutual Grace: he's a babe Janis: shame you can't take him to school 💕 Grace: he isn't a 🐶 I can't just put him in my 👜 hun Janis: think this one is too big for that and all Janis: 'less you're going really hard Grace: OMG has he got a big scary dog! 😱😱 Grace: one of my exes had one that was like Grace: so evil Janis: no Janis: it's just not a rat dog Janis: and it's nice just a bit excitable, only a puppy, like Grace: 🙏🙏 Grace: thank god Janis: just walked it so it should be chill-ish Janis: [sends pic 'cos god knows I have enough] Grace: ask him if I can steal it for school 😍 Janis: 😏 probably say yes Grace: that's so happening then Janis: you so don't need these bad influences in your life Janis: do you reckon mum used to put Ri in her school bag Grace: obvs have her strapped to the front & all her books in a backpack Grace: if I had a baby I could get away with leaving school though, I'll think about it Janis: behave Grace: I need to find the hottest boy ever first Grace: so it'd be cute Janis: shut up Janis: anyway Janis: don't always work Janis: look at Drew and Ro's kid Janis: weird looking thing, they're both attractive enough Grace: is she though? Janis: thought you'd tell me off for being mean Janis: she could be, if she wasn't dying, like Grace: never seen her when she wasn't so it's too hard to tell Janis: 💔 Janis: must be Mia's GP Janis: doling out the advice Grace: I'll book myself in ASAP Janis: like you said Janis: not a look, is it Grace: neither's this Grace: whatever I don't have the commitment Grace: stopped making myself throw up forever ago Janis: did you? Grace: it's like really hard to do Grace: someone should PSA that Janis: along with all the reasons not to, yeah Janis: reckon there's been a couple of films and docs on it Grace: it has its upsides too obvs, how I get any lads to date me Janis: you can shut up now Janis: didn't need to hear about Pablo jumping Mia's bones Janis: don't need to hear about you Grace: you just wanna hear about my bulimic past instead Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: um I didn't ask you about that either Grace: you literally just did Grace: but fine Janis: what did you want me to say Grace: whatever I don't need an intervention for that so Janis: alright Grace: where's his dad? He's not gonna like come back & freak out that I'm watching his kid, like who am I, is he? Janis: nah he's on a date of his own Janis: if he came back early, just give me a call, like Grace: Gross Grace: 👌👌 Janis: he is Grace: I bet he's hot though, son like that Janis: old men are so not your thing Janis: don't need to go down that route, tah Janis: and he's not Janis: like he could've been but he's well past it Grace: tragic Grace: I wonder if his mum is pretty Grace: they could've been like couple goals forever ago Janis: long as you keep your speculating to yourself Grace: obvs I'm not that stupid Grace: or mean Janis: just saying Janis: it is really messed up Janis: wonder where she is Grace: did he tell you anything? Janis: they don't know anything Grace: Oh Grace: poor Bobby Janis: I know Janis: still Janis: Jim looks after him really well Grace: yeah he talked about him like non-stop at the fair Grace: it's nice that they have each other Janis: it is Janis: hard for him sometimes though Grace: obvs he can't just do whatever he wants Grace: unless I'm babysitting Janis: and with his job Janis: we're spoilt brats, like Grace: maybe I'll get one Grace: keep me busy Janis: I'd like one Janis: but I'd definitely throw coffee over people like you so Janis: gotta think Grace: rude but v true Grace: there's like lots of stuff at the sports centre you could do Janis: 😏 Janis: yeah maybe Janis: not the worst idea Grace: I'm mostly fake stupid Janis: leave that off the job applications Grace: idk what I'd even apply for anyway so Janis: you could do anything retail Grace: they want girls who look good in the clothes Janis: you do, you daft cow Grace: on like 1 day out of 7 Grace: I can't maintain that much gym time Janis: 🙄 Janis: alright, you could be a teasgirl in a salon or something Grace: maybe but lots of girls wanna do that Janis: yeah but every job gets more applicants than it needs Janis: worth a shot, if you wanna Grace: sure Janis: work on your resume later though, yeah Janis: on the clock here Grace: I'll make dad do it Janis: hasn't he got catering to be planning Grace: okay fine mum then Janis: surely she has a lovely big 👒 to buy Grace: yeah but we'll fit it around the shopping trips duh Janis: 🙄 Janis: gross Grace: you don't have to come, babes Janis: made it pretty clear I won't be Grace: yeah Janis: you know anyone who'd want some meth, like Grace: that's not funny thank you Janis: it ain't Janis: made a right dent in my back pocket, like Grace: so you better start job hunting Janis: I'll find a buyer Grace: Janis Janis: what Grace: you can't sell drugs Janis: not gonna make it my career Grace: just throw it away Grace: it's freaking me out that you even still have it Janis: not gonna waste it Janis: it's fine Grace: OMG how is it fine??! Grace: you could get murdered Janis: not for this much Janis: didn't go that crazy Grace: people get killed for their phones Janis: alright after school special Janis: worry 'bout yourself then, never off yours, you'd be fucked Grace: excuse me for not wanting you dead Grace: & I dropped mine so it is Janis: unlucky Janis: excuse to say you've lost all their numbers though Grace: that was obvs my plan not just a clumsy bitch 🙄🙄 Janis: 👌 Janis: less believeable than you getting a boy to stick for 7 weeks but we'll roll with it Grace: UM rude Grace: it's 7 boys, lasting a week Janis: 😏 7 dickheads for the price of 1, whatever Grace: even I can keep a boy for a week Janis: the real questions Grace: it's not a q, I can Janis: LOL Grace: stop being a bitch & let me in Janis: finally Grace: ILY too babes Janis: yeah yeah Grace: & you're so welcome 💜 Janis: shut up I'm coming as fast as I can alright Grace: it's literally raining btw Janis: let's hope dickhead ain't planned a picnic Grace: 😂😂 Grace: 💔

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Grace & Janis

Grace: bitch you better have hidden all MY baby pics!!! Janis: obvs my number 1 priority Grace: mhmmmmmm don't be letting that boy see me looking like that Grace: as if our house isn't cringe enough Janis: what, a child? Janis: still got those chubby cheeks, cutie Grace: ew don't even Grace: I learned how to contour for good reason thank you Janis: mhmmmmmm Janis: curse this family and its DNA Janis: [sends her all the baby Grace pics we don't have] Grace: STOP Janis: 😂 Janis: n'awh Grace: you're so annoying it's no wonder you're their new fave Grace: so who's more 😍😍 for him, mum or dad? Janis: bit rude to their old fave Janis: giving you a place to bunk, have some manners Janis: 🤔 hmm, it's close Janis: probably the mother, chatting about some art project he has to do so Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: like if you're not gonna offer to do it for him, hush babes Janis: the idea of her coming at me with a 📷 got me like Janis: [suitably grumpy child pic] Grace: 😂😂😂😂 Grace: does he have to use 📷? she could just get one of her old 🎨 out Janis: oh yes, 'cos the idea of posing for a portrait thrills me more Janis: I think it can be any medium, it's his thing Grace: you only have to sit there tho Janis: not trying to spend any more time here with them tho Grace: 👌👌 true Janis: strictly dinner kinda deal Grace: I'm so sure dad made soooo many courses anyway Janis: I told him to be chill Janis: so naturally he hasn't Grace: ugh Grace: do not miss his dinner time check ins Janis: its only been a couple of days Janis: wouldn't get comfortable not missing anything Grace: UM can you not remind me that I have to come back Grace: so rude Janis: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: cute that you miss me tho hun 💜 Janis: like I'll be here hun Grace: you invited him there 🤞🤞 that you EVER see him again Janis: no I didn't Janis: I wanted them off my back, that's the plan Janis: now and I can leave and they won't freak Grace: he's still meeting them Janis: ? Janis: he'll get over it, it's one night Grace: !!! & 😱😱😱 Grace: it's mum & dad how long do they even need to make you wanna die Janis: it's more funny when you don't care Janis: worry about yourself Grace: I'm fine thanks so much Janis: were you waiting to talk about yourself Janis: 'cos go ahead Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: never stopped you before Grace: excuse you Janis: hm? Grace: really nice catching up, babes Janis: hm Grace: see you soon or not Janis: toodles Grace: 💜👋💜 Janis: call off your bitch, will you Grace: ??? Janis: who do you think Janis: why does she even watch my stories Grace: idk or why you think I haven't already told her to get over it Janis: fuck's sake Grace: why do you even care if she watches your stories? literally everyone is rn Janis: I don't care if she watches but tell her not to message me Grace: I obvs will but she obvs isn't gonna listen to me Janis: if she doesn't she's getting a slap Grace: LOL Grace: you know who her dad is, you can't Janis: no I don't Janis: though she'd like to think everyone does Grace: OMG just block her Grace: you wanted mum and dad OFF your back Grace: literally why bring him to dinner to start more drama Janis: they don't like her either Janis: it's not drama Grace: Duh she'll cause it if you hit her Janis: then she better shut up then hadn't she Grace: what's she even saying? Janis: does it matter Grace: if you want me to message her after days of not Grace: like I'm gonna just hit her up without knowing anything Grace: I'd look mental Janis: you know what Janis: forget it Janis: god forbid you inconvenience yourself however slightly Grace: OMG just tell me Janis: it shouldn't fucking matter Janis: let her tell you since you're so keen to side with her already Grace: I can't even take sides if I don't know anything Janis: I'll sort it myself Grace: by fighting her Grace: for god's sake Janis: and what Janis: your approach has worked so well? Grace: okay so it's all my fault Janis: thanks but that admission don't really help Grace: STOP Grace: & just talk to me Janis: why Janis: so you can act like she's not your best friend Janis: that you don't know that she's been like this to me for years Grace: you're my sister Grace: I can give you a million secrets you can use Grace: tell me how bad it is first Janis: I ain't interesting in playing your little games Grace: so what do you want me to do? Grace: I'm literally saying I'll be on your side Janis: You brought her, you get her to go away Grace: okay Janis: good Grace: for you, sure Janis: how do you always make yourself the victim Grace: how do you have the nerve to ask me to do something & still act like a bitch Grace: you said it, she's my best friend Grace: this isn't gonna backfire on you Janis: She's already fucking me over, it doesn't need to backfire Janis: and it's no one's fault but you're own that she's your friend Janis: don't expect sympathy Grace: you think she can't do worse than a few DM's Grace: oh honey Janis: I'm not scared of her, get a grip, for fuck's sake Grace: so happy for you Grace: you know what, handle it yourself Grace: hit her, do whatever Janis: yeah no shit Janis: you've not done anything about her a day in your life Grace: yeah cos it's so easy Janis: poor you Grace: don't talk to me Janis: make your mind up jesus Grace: go away Grace: I'm so done with you & this Janis: get the fuck over yourself Janis: you were buzzing at the chance for more petty mean girl bullshit with her Janis: do something with your life and she might give a shit again, you're not using me for your in Grace: I wanted to help you Grace: until you reminded me why that's THE WORST idea ever Janis: you never help anyone Janis: saying you're nice and helpful but then never doing it 'cos everyone else is THE WORST Janis: don't make it true Grace: oh please Grace: I've never said I'm nice or helpful Janis: oh please, you do constantly Janis: you can't take responsibility for shit, it's me, it's her, it's your shitty exes, yeah? Janis: maybe it's you, Grace, you're the common denominator Grace: okay thanks Grace: you're really helpful Janis: I don't want to help you Janis: let's be clear Grace: Great, so shut up Janis: no Janis: this is your fucking fault, you should get an nth of the bullshit I get Grace: me and Mia aren't the same person Grace: if I had any control over her I'd have used it way before now Janis: you think you're any better? Janis: at least she's upfront about it Janis: got some balls Grace: 👌👌👌 Janis: you really are pathetic Grace: wow Janis: what Grace: if that's the best you can do, it's obvs why you wanted me to deal with her Janis: working with the material I'm given Janis: which is fuck all really, isn't it Janis: but no, you're known for your acerbic wit and silversharp tongue Janis: my mistake, please tell her off like you've never managed before Grace: are you like done yet or not? Janis: nope Janis: you actually thought I would ever come to you for help Janis: when have I ever needed you Grace: well you actually did so Grace: how awks Janis: It's actually awkward that you think me venting to you so you know what you started is a genuine cry for help Janis: your thing, can't take that from you Grace: if it's my thing I know the difference between venting & asking surely but go off babes Janis: Diego has less miscommunication in his life than you Grace: 👏 Janis: Genuinely Janis: you should really get help at school Janis: some kind of delay there Grace: yay we're back to how stupid I am Grace: been a min Janis: N'awh, not stupid Janis: probably a syndrome Janis: bet it's got a name, have a google Grace: 💜 Janis: let us know, get everyone to start talking really slowly at you and all Grace: I'm fine with none of you talking to me Grace: thanks though Janis: yeah Janis: that's why the only place you have to go is your sisters Janis: you've got no one but them so I'd get back on the 💜 train Janis: who the fuck would have you that ain't bound by bloodties and duty Grace: way ahead of you, babes Janis: stop slagging them off then as if you and me have a thing in common Grace: stop policing what I say Janis: say something worth hearing Grace: to you, no thanks Janis: to who Janis: already pointed out you have no one if you ain't got Mia Grace: obvs to no one then duh Janis: obvious for two reasons then Grace: sure Janis: 💔 Grace: yeah Janis: kiss and make up because everyone is sick of it Grace: 👌👌👌 Janis: Serious Grace: Chill, I'm sure she'll be my date to the vow renewal Grace: are you done with dad I need a q & a? Janis: what Grace: it's a simple question, hun Grace: literally need to talk catering so like are you done or not Janis: what are you talking about Grace: Rio and Buster being the most extra couple ever Grace: like hello? did mum and dad not fill you in Janis: you better be fucking joking Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: if you send one more emoji I'll shove that phone down your throat Janis: are you serious Grace: like I'd make up a 2nd wedding Grace: get a grip Janis: this is bullshit, obviously not Grace: they're already married, babes, they have a kid, you're kinda too late to object Janis: fuck off as if you support it Janis: no one does, no one wants to go to that that's why they had to do it alone Grace: exactly, they could care less if I do or not Janis: well no one cares what you think Janis: it's irrelevant Janis: the point is, why have another wedding no one wants Janis: this is the last thing anyone needs Grace: cos they are holding their breath waiting for your RSVP or opinion I'm sure Grace: he asked & she said yes, that's how it works Janis: shut the fuck up Janis: this is the most selfish thing I've ever Janis: she's so full of shit Janis: it won't be happening Grace: it literally is happening though Janis: no it isn't Janis: not when she gets called out on what a hypocritical lying cunt she is Janis: see how much you feel like celebrating then Grace: as much as this fam ever does Grace: one big party 24 7 Janis: nah, fat chance Janis: they've not destroyed enough they wanna rub everyone's face in it, don't think so Janis: 3 lives they utterly fucked, there's no celebrating that Grace: not the way they see it Grace: & it's how they see it that matters to them so Janis: It's easy enough to change their mind Janis: fuck's sake Grace: How? Janis: not going to be you that does it so what's it to you Janis: roll over quicker than anyone asks, you Grace: it won't be you either Grace: he'd have to tell her to call it off for her to listen Janis: like fuck it won't Janis: someone has to say it Janis: she was here last time and she ain't no more Grace: & what did it change? Grace: they did it then & they'll do it now Janis: You're a quitter, I'm not asking you to get on board Janis: she's gonna listen Grace: If any of us told you to stop seeing Jimmy, you wouldn't Grace: they love each other, get over it Janis: and she ain't me Janis: if she cares even a degree of what she fakes Janis: she won't want another death on her hands Janis: it's not hard when what they're doing is sick and wrong Grace: stop it Janis: nah, like fuck Janis: if you cared about those kids like you fake, you'd want them taken off them Janis: the shit they're going to get Janis: and you cry every day about your shit life Janis: he should know better, his parents being what they were Grace: None of us want any of this Grace: but it's too late Janis: it's always too late with you Janis: no you can't do anything 'cos you're fucking weak and you need them all Janis: I don't need any of you, you can all rot Grace: Janis, don't Janis: fuck this shit Janis: fuck you Janis: fucking catering are you out your fucking mind Janis: over my dead body Grace: Stop saying that Grace: OMG Janis: You act like she was the crazy one Janis: she did the only thing that made any sense Janis: getting away from this toxic fucking family anyway she could Janis: you aren't even a real person and it's their fault and you do nothing about it Grace: Please don't fucking go Janis: Why would I stay Janis: why would you Janis: they have no right to miss her, none of them Janis: they all gave her reasons to get so far out her head that she'd fucking Janis: fuck Rio, fuck mum and fuck dad Grace: I can't do this on my own Janis: We've never been together Janis: you'd pick them every time Janis: you'd help her plan her bullshit wedding that's about nothing but showing off how much she gives a fuck about no one but him Grace: Give me something to do that isn't leave or kill myself Grace: I'm going mental here Janis: you should hit up Ollie, see if he's about it Janis: can be just like her Janis: she's doing just fine Grace: There's worse things to be than like her Janis: there's nothing worse Grace: at least she's happy Janis: she will be until one of hers dies Janis: then she'll be broken and pathetic like mum and dad Janis: and she doesn't have the excuse of not knowing better Janis: she helped kill Edie and then thought of ways she could make that situation even worse Janis: she's worse than them and has the nerve to act like what, some kind of mother figure doing her best for all of us Grace: She cared about Edie & she cares about us Janis: not enough to do the right thing Janis: they never do Grace: it wouldn't have saved her Grace: you know that Janis: that makes it alright then Janis: if mum did it first Janis: break her some more Janis: damage already done Janis: too late Janis: you're so fucking brainwashed and what do you get from it Janis: are you happy Gracie Janis: 'cos you're fucking collateral Grace: of course I'm not Janis: then stop drinking the kool-aid and telling me how good it tastes Grace: Rio's trying to help me, she's the only one who is Janis: yeah her saviour complex done everyone real well Janis: Junior's life isn't fucked at all because she had to live it for him Grace: I'm just saying I'm not gonna walk away from her cos Edie would want me to Grace: Junior's life is fucked cos he has shit taste in men & goes along with what everyone else wants Janis: This family loved to surround itself with dead girls it was trying to help Janis: and you're happy to be one of 'em Janis: don't pretend you want other options Grace: I don't wanna die Janis: 🤞 she has a baby for you that she won't give you then Janis: you're never gonna be the one 'helping' Janis: you aren't her or mum Janis: that is your role if you don't get out the fucking show, Grace Grace: we've established I'm not helpful, babes Janis: we've established you aren't a person Janis: even this, you can't be real Janis: what the fuck will it take Grace: you don't want real from me Grace: you literally never have Janis: you've never offered Janis: and I ain't waiting around for you Grace: Every time I try & talk to you, you shut me down Grace: you obvs aren't waiting for anything from me Janis: When have you ever tried to talk about something that matters Janis: I'm not talking to you about hair when people are fucking dying Grace: when have you ever let me Grace: you're a bitch way before then Janis: why would I be nice to that Janis: You don't like me, I'm not begging you either Grace: nothing that matters to me matters to you Janis: the colour of your fucking lip doesn't matter period Grace: that isn't real Janis: You've never been real Janis: you don't give me a fucking chance Grace: I can't be real with you cos you just make fun of everything that I say or feel or do Janis: and you and your friend don't Janis: nah, everything I do hasn't been fucking wrong to you since before we got our periods Grace: I've never backed her up on anything she said Grace: I don't call you stupid or ugly or any of the shit you call me Janis: you just call be a bitch and annoying and weird Janis: so if all of that's fake, everything you roll your eyes at because I just don't get it, just admit, you don't want to be real with me Janis: never fucking have, pretending it's 'cos I don't wear heels has always been an excuse Grace: You are a bitch and I do find you annoying and weird Grace: & you don't get me or any of the things that are hard for me cos they aren't for you Janis: that makes it alright then, you can say whatever you like to me because you perceieve yourself as life's victim and it's all fine for me Grace: we have different problems Grace: I'm not saying your life is perfect, I'm not that stupid Janis: just better than yours so why should you even try to be nice Janis: landed you with a great crowd, that Grace: you think you're better than me Grace: you literally always have Janis: no, you think I'm better than you Janis: and I didn't tear myself down so you could use me to build yourself up Janis: you aren't her and I'm not you Janis: why do you think you fell into that kind of relationship Grace: you are better than me & it makes it really hard to be around you, okay Janis: thanks Grace: it's not like any of this is how I want it Janis: how can you sit here and expect sympathy Janis: when I'm the one who's left with no one Janis: you can deal with the shit and have friends and have them, I can't do that Grace: you think I'm dealing? LOL Janis: deal with theirs Janis: and they'll love you for it Janis: none of them are gonna call you a doormat, just me Janis: 'cos they need a yes man Grace: well maybe I wouldn't be here if they did call me out ever Grace: at least you tell me the truth Janis: well maybe it gets exhausting being the only one telling the truth Janis: do you think she liked having to have every conversation be a confrontation Janis: do you think I Grace: it's exhausting being fake too if you were thinking about swapping Janis: like I said, you've got plenty of company Janis: they all are Grace: Yeah but I'm the only one getting told to see a therapist Grace: like I'd know where to start Janis: told you Janis: love a dead girl Janis: breeding and 'fixing' people when they've got no business is this family's shared hobby Janis: reason they ain't try to section me, section her Janis: take your shoelaces, where's the fun in actually doing something Janis: say you will, fucking say you have, did Janis: but never actually do Grace: they couldn't section you, you're not mental Grace: her either Janis: give her a case when I say I'll top myself if she goes ahead with this wedding, won't I Grace: No Grace: if being angry was all it takes half this fam would be gone Grace: & the wedding wouldn't happen cos he's the worst for it Janis: they should be, that's the fucking problem Janis: seperate cells, all of 'em Janis: and yeah, he's a cunt Grace: You don't have long if you really wanna stop it Janis: yeah? Grace: they are rushing but obvs won't tell me why Grace: maybe they think people will try and stop them idk Janis: Brazil one probably wasn't even legal Janis: why should I care about their kids really Janis: why should I try and help any of them Grace: they're just babies, they didn't ask for any of this Janis: maybe not but maybe those two deserve for those kids to grow and turn 'round and tell them how much they hate them for doing this Janis: fuck it, I can't think straight Janis: maybe that's enough, maybe I just won't go, I'll be gone Grace: you'll come back though, right? Janis: can't think about that Janis: I should be happy right now Janis: but no Janis: can't Grace: you can be happy Janis: how can I Janis: it never stops it never goes away Grace: idk just worry about yourself like you always say to me Grace: forget about them Janis: can't do that when you're here Grace: forget about me Janis: no I mean Janis: I can't be here, I can't be anywhere near any of you and be happy Janis: and one reason to stay doesn't outweight all the reasons to go Grace: you're saying you're gonna leave him, aren't you Janis: this isn't fair on him Grace: it wouldn't be fair to do that Grace: on you either Janis: I know that, all he needs is someone who can stay Janis: I can't do it Grace: he loves you so he needs you Grace: you love him Janis: yes Grace: he'd go with you if you asked him Janis: the kids can't come Grace: why do they need to? he's got a dad, right? Janis: no Janis: they need him Janis: and he needs them Grace: oh Janis: it's not easy Janis: even if it feels easier than staying Janis: it's still so fucking hard Grace: I love you & if you only listen to one thing I ever say then Grace: you're really gonna regret it if you fuck things up with him Janis: I know Janis: but I should have never have let him in Grace: but you have now Grace: not to be that it's too late bitch again Grace: but like Janis: bad things happened to him too Janis: happen Grace: so don't hurt him Janis: that's all I ever do Grace: no Grace: that's faker than anything I've ever Grace: shut up Janis: I don't want to Janis: she didn't either, I don't think Janis: it's just Janis: seems like the only way to end it all, all the suffering Grace: nobody wants to, I don't think even Mia wants that, way deep down Janis: you can't end other people's, only your own Janis: but causing it means you're having some effect, right Grace: she had so much love in her, that's how she could do it, hurt people that deep Grace: so do you Grace: but you don't have to be like her Janis: I don't know what the alternative is Janis: like I said, it feels like someone HAS to be saying these things Grace: I think it's this Grace: trying Grace: being honest means being honest about like everything Janis: it's hard to do both Janis: that's the problem Janis: how can you tell Rio she's a hypocritical bitch that has ultimately put herself first and tell her she still held it down all those times we needed her to Grace: I know, babes, trust Grace: cos they can both be true Grace: I hate you & I love you Grace: nothing's just a or just b Janis: I guess the thing is, they get the rest from everyone else Janis: like you said Janis: you wouldn't be here if I didn't tell you the bad shit Janis: no one would Grace: you can still be the call out queen Grace: if he's the only person who sees the real you, maybe that's okay Grace: maybe its like that anyway Janis: it feels wrong Janis: we didn't always hate each other Janis: all of us Grace: I didn't always hate myself Grace: it's just Grace: things happen Janis: too many things have Janis: that shouldn't have Grace: Yeah exactly so don't make yourself unhappy Grace: there's been so much of it Janis: she died for nothing Janis: if more and more keeps happening Janis: just makes it more true Grace: she died for nothing anyway Grace: she was 16 Janis: and if I act like it, it's a problem Janis: but Rio gets to openly ruin more kids and we're meant to be happy Janis: I refuse, I won't do it Grace: she's just trying to be happy Grace: like you want to be Janis: no Janis: you don't get to try at the expense of a helpless fucking kid Janis: that you made Janis: that's not how it works, this is what I'm saying Janis: we aren't doing this again and pretending that that's alright Grace: I'm not saying don't tell her what you think Janis: how could she Janis: twice Grace: I don't know Grace: I don't know how she could fall in love with him or any of it Janis: it's not love Grace: she thinks it is, & she let it happen Grace: I don't understand that Janis: she's selfish or it's trauma-bonding Janis: she can have either Janis: but she won't admit it regardless Grace: of course she won't Grace: so just let it go Janis: no Janis: there's consequences to the shit you do Grace: they're her consequences to deal with Janis: and one of them is that I hate her and I'm not going to let her forget that Edie died hating her too Janis: it's not enough to yet again put it on some kids Janis: say hey, wait to see how bad the bullying gets and the doubt and all of it Janis: then turn around and say why the fuck did you two do this Janis: they hurt people Janis: and they still are Janis: they should care Grace: I think they do Grace: but idk if that's enough or not Grace: or what'll happen to those babies or any of us Janis: it isn't enough Janis: they aren't Grace: what I know is if you keep hating like Edie did it'll hurt you like it hurt her Grace: you have to stop Janis: we should be hurting Janis: she shouldn't be happy Janis: none of us should Grace: we are Grace: that doesn't mean you have to ruin everything for yourself Grace: that you can't ever be happy Janis: I'm not ruining anything Janis: it's ruined Janis: nothing has changed Janis: so no, we shouldn't be happy Grace: Edie literally wanted you to be Grace: & we were 12 so much has changed Janis: like what Grace: like you letting someone in Grace: being happy even if you think you shouldn't Grace: we're talking now that wouldn't have ever happened Grace: if you hate me more than you did 4 years ago that's still change, babes Grace: you can't stand still for her Janis: I'm not going to pretend we're blessed to live to make more mistakes Grace: do better like everyone says they are gonna but don't Janis: no thanks Janis: I'm not righting all this family has done wrong Janis: that's what they think they can do Janis: Rio and Buster, and they've already failed Grace: I'm not even talking about them though Grace: just do better for you Grace: stay with him, feel something idk Janis: I don't know if I can Grace: I can't answer that for you Grace: do you wanna try or not? Janis: It's not that simple Grace: with that attitude no Janis: no, it just isn't Janis: you haven't been in love, have you? Grace: no Janis: well it's like Janis: sometimes what you want, and even what they think they want, might not be what's right for them Janis: and if you really loved them Janis: you'd want what was best for them, wouldn't you Grace: you are what's best for him though Grace: I've seen you together, wayyyy more than I wanted to Grace: & I lowkey stalked him before that so Janis: lowkey is debatable Grace: thank you for focusing in on the right thing OMG Janis: I'm not trying to be a cunt for once right now but you know Janis: I don't think you can say what's best for him Janis: me either, really Janis: idk Janis: I wish I did know then I'd just do it Grace: so let him say it Grace: be there to give him the chance like Janis: that's not me Janis: I can't be the one getting left Grace: & he can? Janis: no Grace: so do you love him enough to let him really hurt you or not Janis: its all stupid anyway Janis: we only just met Grace: I don't think that's the point, babes Janis: it is, even some of yours lasted longer than this and you weren't in love with them Grace: hello I'm fake Grace: & a hoe Janis: I didn't intend to be real Grace: he can't do fake that's not your fault hun Grace: his face is a dead giveaway like literally always Janis: you can take hints then Janis: just ignore 'em Janis: good to know Grace: I'm not brain damaged Grace: you just wish I were Janis: why would I want that Janis: sounds dead irritating, if anything Grace: cos otherwise I'm just stupid Grace: no excusing that Janis: you're not you're just infuriating Grace: cute but yeah I am Janis: nothing cute about it Janis: it's ugly all the shit you pretend Grace: duh it suits me then Janis: yeah yeah Grace: yeah we can pretend that's why no one wants me instead of what the truth is Janis: what's the truth then Grace: that I am just ugly Grace: so my personality might as well be Janis: nah Janis: truth is, you don't wanna die, like you said Janis: if that's what it takes for you to survive Grace: I'm too scared, like I am of a lot of things Grace: but like I also said, things change Janis: it's scary Grace: if I ever do it get mum's old oujia board out & I'll let you know what happens next Grace: like a liveblog Janis: oh great Janis: here's me thinking I'd get some peace and quiet, like Grace: EW what if heaven's like a really amazing nightclub vibe & they don't let me in Janis: what do you wanna go to heaven for Janis: it's like here without all the interesting bits Janis: at least hell is offering a bit of something new Grace: UM cos I'm not into bdsm unless the boy's like really fit Janis: you'll be fine then Janis: Lucifer is famously too hot for heaven, like Grace: oh yeah I totally forgot Janis: grand scheme of bible teachings, probably encouraged to be a bit quiet on that one Janis: black nan be buzzing Grace: catch me sinning really hard from now until I kms so he's into me Grace: sorry nan Janis: really gonna try and be his favourite sinner Janis: 😏 Grace: You'll love it cos I promised Rio no boys & she'll be really 😠😠😠 Grace: 💜me perdoe, irmã eu tenho que pecar💜 Janis: 😂 Janis: gonna point out that there are 7 other sins Janis: and those are just the deadly ones, like Grace: yeah but like Grace: it's the one that'll get his attention easiest Grace: boys are so quick to get jealous Janis: the devil has and always will be a gentleman, babe Janis: not a fuckboy Janis: rethink the tactic probs Grace: excuse me that gluttony & sloth aren't moods for an attractive corpse Janis: hello it's your soul you're taking Janis: not a zombie fuckfest Grace: UM I still need all my exes devastated at my funeral thanks Grace: don't let anyone touch my hair though or I will haunt you Janis: ha your plastic weave gonna be there long after the rest of you is dust Janis: as for your exes Janis: got to think numbers Grace: RUDE Janis: alright for you to say, you won't be handing out sausage rolls to however many identical unimpressed looking white boys Grace: neither will you Grace: a glance to check I'm in there & you can go, babes Janis: oh please Janis: can't make me go to this farce of a wedding but doubt I'm getting out of a funeral that easy Grace: I'll literally write in my will so bye bitch Janis: cute you think the dead's wishes are getting honoured around here Janis: whether she wanted us to be miserable or happy, we're all doing shit regardless Janis: can't say she wanted us to muddle through ad infinitum Grace: she still died we can't just move on ASAP Janis: why it's better to be team miserable Janis: a case can be argued even if we aren't committing enough Grace: I'm sure your bf will be down his face is always 😒 Janis: you fancy him not me Grace: ew Janis: mhmm Grace: you can go ahead and put that wayyyyy into past tense thanks so much Janis: 😏 Janis: convincing Grace: I literally only wanted to hook up with him Grace: not gonna do that now so Janis: that's all you do with any boy so Grace: duh Grace: he's only special to you Grace: no boy is to me Janis: don't be gay Janis: x2 Grace: don't be homophobic Grace: it's gross & retro Janis: whatever Janis: every gay I know is a twat Janis: tell me it ain't related Grace: same tbh Grace: 🤔🤔 Janis: doesn't help they're related to me and all but when I'm right, I'm right Grace: you don't know any others? Janis: dunno anyone do I Janis: if you cunts are boring, not like the ones at school are any better craic Grace: idk who you hang with now bitch Janis: 🙄 Janis: yeah decided I want loads of mates Grace: you got a bf so who knows Janis: told you that was a mistake Janis: accident, whatever Janis: not a habit Grace: you could be making friends by mistake Grace: obvs so likeable Janis: I'd rather not Grace: 👌 Janis: every twat's the same 'round here Grace: true Janis: nah no more people Janis: undecided what I'm doing as is Grace: it's a mood Janis: bollock Janis: you hate being alone, famously Grace: duh but idk what I'm doing Janis: hiding at Rio's rn Grace: thanks Grace: not what I meant tho Janis: then you'll have to be more specific Grace: whatever Grace: how are there no parties tonight??! ugh Janis: probably for the best Grace: it's really not Grace: school's gonna start soon Janis: astute Janis: you check the calendar Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: do you know of any I don't? Janis: wouldn't tell you if I did Grace: that's so rude Janis: forgot why you've got a pity sofabed atm or what babe Grace: that wasn't a party & I wasn't gonna invite him to be my date tonight Janis: makes no odds, and dates a pretty loose term for 'you can frig me off in a random's lounge whilst their parents are out' as well Grace: it is shorter to type though so Janis: ha Janis: hilarious Grace: no just why I used it Janis: stick to babysitting Grace: I'm going out it'll just have to be somewhere else Janis: not doing this again Janis: got things i need to do now thanks to this awful fucking news Grace: not stopping you Janis: yeah right Grace: literally can't Janis: if you didn't want stopping, you wouldn't fucking tell me Janis: not after last time Janis: but I'm telling you, I ain't gonna be in any state so leave it out Grace: excuse me if for someone with no friends you have a lot of party invites Janis: called being likeable Janis: try it Grace: obvs & I obvs can't Janis: you don't try very hard Grace: LOL Grace: like I said, being fake is exhausting too babes Janis: well stop Janis: that's why no one likes you Janis: you're too much it weird everyone out Grace: I literally just said I can't Grace: but thanks Janis: how hard is it to shut your mouth for 5 minutes Grace: for you very Grace: so like idk why you're telling me to Janis: cos like idk I'm trying to help you! Grace: no you're not Grace: you're trying to get me to shut up cos you have so much to do Grace: you can just go Janis: sadly not Janis: waiting Grace: feel free to wait in silence Janis: why would I do that Grace: why not Grace: so easy Janis: nah Janis: I'm likeable, dying to hear what I've got to say Janis: too likeable to be off my phone rn so you'll have to deal with it Grace: 💜 Janis: I mean it, make sure one of them is sober Janis: I've got plans here Grace: I don't need you Grace: do what you want Janis: blatantly untrue Janis: made a massive twat of yourself last time Janis: which was, by the way, 2 days ago Janis: consider you have a problem Grace: & I'm so sure I will again but like it's my problem Janis: not though is it Janis: you checked out this entire convo Janis: affects all of us Grace: read back your own responses where everything is shit & we all deserve to suffer & nothing matters Janis: so sit and think about what you've done all alone Janis: that is suffering Grace: no thanks Janis: cool just ruin my night Janis: again Grace: it's not about you Janis: yeah it is Grace: no Janis: yep Janis: already ruined one plan so tah Janis: have to carry out this one after Grace: 👌👌 Janis: in a bit, cunt Grace: 👋 Janis: you really aren't subtle Janis: you know how easily I could forward this all to Rio, like Janis: think on Grace: then do it Grace: you love telling on me it's your thing now Janis: it is funny Janis: acting out doesn't really work if you keep telling before you do it Janis: not your thing by a long stretch Grace: I'm going out it's not a dramatic storm out Janis: yeah to get fingered 'cos you hate your ugly, stupid self, by your own admission Janis: so casual Janis: so not why the therapists are being booked Grace: literally so done talking to you now Grace: this convo has gone on forever Janis: it's cool it's forwarded Janis: 4G is amazing, idk where the fuck I am Janis: still, so fast Grace: wow Grace: I'll be impressed later like Janis: won't have the time Janis: though the drive back to mum and dad's is a fair while, yeah, you could use that time to really reflect Grace: I'll obvs make it for you, babes Janis: obvs Janis: fucking sad Grace: 💔 Janis: bet that felt like a moment Grace: mhmm Janis: n'awh Grace: yeah Janis: if you don't get some standards, honestly Grace: that's really working for you, yeah? Grace: it won't be any easier when he hates you than when he loves you, you know that Grace: get a grip Janis: like you'd know the first thing about it Grace: like you do either Grace: duh why you're terrified Janis: love a bit of projection Grace: okay sure Janis: not the one that freaks out when boys touch her Grace: so Grace: you're still gonna be alone anyway Janis: and? Grace: it doesn't matter if you push him away & if I'm getting pushed away by whatever lad Grace: even if you wanna use things I've said against me rn Janis: and you're the one that can't stand being alone Grace: oh sure keep pretending you love that but I'm so fake Janis: if I was fazed, I would've done something about it before now, what with how likeable I am to boys and girls Janis: no begging from my end Grace: you love him you literally admitted it Grace: stop Janis: and that matters because Grace: he loves you too Grace: you can't act like that doesn't matter Janis: sure can Janis: don't push me Grace: You're so stupid Janis: awh Janis: you are if you think there's any salvaging already Janis: like I could stick around with all that you threw at me Grace: me? Janis: yes, you Grace: how are you so delusional actually Janis: you couldn't want to tell me all about the stupid wedding Janis: you didn't have to Janis: mum and dad didn't for a fucking reason clearly Grace: you pushed me like you always do Janis: nah Janis: you dropped that like it was nothing Grace: you were being horrible for no reason like you always are Janis: the reason is you and your self-confessed shit personality but sure Janis: if it makes you feel better about the whole thing Grace: the reason was Mia but sure blame me again Janis: give a shit about Mia Janis: it was the wedding and you know it Janis: and you knew it and that's the only reason you said it Grace: I can't take it back now Janis: yeah well me either Grace: I didn't mean to just drop it on you like that Janis: whatever Janis: you want some attention, have at it 'cos I'm about to undo tonight Grace: why can't you stop Janis: why would I Grace: that's obvious Grace: undo whatever you've done to him instead Janis: how Janis: how the fuck do you reckon I can do that Grace: however he needs you to Grace: grow the fuck up & be sorry & try Janis: go to hell Janis: you're so fucked Janis: you care more about him than you do me what the hell is wrong with you Grace: I care about you Grace: for god's sake Janis: that's why you ain't once asked where I am or who I'm waiting for Janis: stop fucking talking about him Grace: cos I'm really scared what the answer is Grace: don't you understand that Janis: well it ain't Drew so my odds of leaving unmolested are slightly up Janis: though not his type, I don't reckon Grace: Every time you do this I freak out that it'll be the last time Grace: you won't come back cos either you don't want to or you can't Grace: if he's the only reason for you to stay then of course I want you to be with him Grace: I'm not sorry for that Janis: Well I can try for you but I don't think going catatonic and then bolting off is much of a turn-on Janis: 'specially not Janis: nah Janis: she kept this up for ages, good times, eh Grace: Talk to him Janis: gonna need to take this shit first Grace: Please don't Grace: I'm sorry for everything I've said and done literally ever okay Janis: yeah Janis: know you are Grace: Janis Janis: sorry alright Janis: and I never sent nothing to Rio so you can go Grace: I'll come to you Grace: wherever Grace: you don't have to Janis: I really meant it when I said idk where I am Grace: we can figure that out Grace: & I'll tell him it's all my fault, whatever you want Grace: he knows what a nightmare I am Janis: it's my fault Janis: this would've happened at some point yeah Grace: it's me, I'll fix it Grace: just give me a landmark to aim at first Janis: he was from Janis: Ballyfermot, yeah Janis: even worse than Tallaght, I remember she said Janis: don't come here I just need to Janis: aim back Grace: I can't just sit here like 🤞🤞 Grace: that's all this fam ever does Janis: shit Janis: this was really stupid he was horrible Grace: are you okay??? Janis: okay, I'll put my location on but I'll start moving, just meet me halfway Janis: one of Edie's old dealers/boyfriends Janis: said she had the right idea, yeah Grace: I can't even with that Grace: I'm in a car now so just move Janis: who is it Grace: just me obvs Grace: I'm not getting any of them involved Grace: I have an app for a reason like Janis: right no Janis: good Janis: just don't tell your uber driver I'm packing Grace: duh Grace: what are you gonna do with it though? Janis: can't just chuck it Janis: what if a dog eat it Janis: or a little kid Janis: kinda looked like some weird sour sweet you know Grace: find a really really gross bin Janis: or, could keep it and take it when he won't speak to me eh Grace: that's not funny Janis: I know Grace: I can't even breathe rn Janis: told you I couldn't pick you up Janis: tweaked driving is probably marginally better than drunk but still Grace: if he did something to you, you literally have to tell me Janis: he didn't, I swear Janis: he was just Janis: chatting about how he missed her and I wanted to ram his meth teeth down his throat Janis: bet he barely remembers her name Grace: that's horrible Grace: fuck Janis: he looked so old Janis: but I'm thinking it was just the drugs taking their toll, no way did she Janis: I hope not Grace: I don't wanna think about it but like Janis: I wanted to mug him, like Janis: show I ain't no hypocrite Janis: but I couldn't Grace: you can't do this again ever Janis: I don't wanna make promises I can't keep Janis: but like Janis: I don't even wanna take it, it smells and looks so Janis: toxic Grace: I will literally kill you if you die Janis: I don't know how much longer I can do this Janis: 4 years and I Grace: stop Grace: I'll help you Grace: I mean it, I'll do whatever you want Janis: I'm just so angry all the time Janis: and mean Grace: you can shout at me rn if you wanna, I'm already crying Grace: this driver has seen some shit Janis: people should be nice to you Janis: sorry your friends are dicks Grace: I should be nice to people Janis: fucking state of us Grace: idk how to be different Grace: it's been so long, before Edie even Grace: literally who am I? Janis: me either Janis: if I give up being angry Janis: give up her Janis: what have I got Grace: you never have to give her up Janis: I think I do a bit Janis: she couldn't make herself happy, I can't do it for myself and her Grace: she'd want you to be happy, I was so serious Grace: she was coming to see you Janis: us Grace: no Grace: she hated me & it was totally mutual Janis: but she loved you and that was too Janis: can't not Grace: if anything she was coming to ruin whatever tween celebrations I had planned cos that'd make you happy Janis: I can't remember anything about that day Grace: me either Grace: how can it not feel real when it's the realest thing that ever happened Janis: how did we find out Janis: who told us Janis: I don't know, genuinely Janis: not like when I pretend I've forgotten things Grace: I feel like it was dad but maybe I've made that up Grace: cos of after Grace: idk Grace: we should know that, shouldn't we? Janis: yeah Janis: that's the problem, right Janis: 9 kids, to tell Janis: sort of thing you want to do one on one but then some would know before ithers and how Janis: how would you do that 9 times Janis: he must've just, Janis: it must've just came out Grace: how would you even do it once Grace: I can't talk about anything ever Grace: literally not an exaggeration Janis: I told Jimmy she ran away for good Janis: not that she's dead, that we know where she's gone Grace: you don't owe him the story if you don't wanna tell it, babes Grace: everyone knows so much of our business Janis: their mum Janis: they don't know where she is Grace: like she just left? Janis: I think so Grace: how old was he? Grace: that's so sad Janis: I don't know, I don't ask he's just Janis: we've both said some stuff Janis: but Bobby is 6 so Grace: you wanna talk, can't relate but Janis: sometimes it feels almost right, like he'd get it Grace: yeah Grace: A lad once said to me 'you don't fuck like you've got a dead sister' like word for word that's what he said Grace: what does that even mean, you know Janis: people are so fucking weird Janis: does he mean you weren't sobbing at the time or that you weren't giving it your all like you've seen death so you know life now Grace: I didn't ask for clarification Grace: I just threw up and left Grace: but like it'd be nice if someone understood it, maybe Janis: nicer than that doesn't take much but Janis: maybe it's worse Janis: and maybe I'm a dick for comparing Grace: but maybe he wants someone to understand too Grace: it's really lonely getting left all the time Janis: Grace Grace: ?? Janis: are you sure you don't want him Grace: EW Janis: you'd be much nicer Grace: no I wouldn't Janis: well you wouldn't run Grace: yeah I would Grace: just not like physically cos 👠 Janis: if he fucks Mia I'll cry I think Janis: then kill her Grace: he would never!!! Grace: he hates her and she's livid about it Grace: like same but I'm relieved Janis: it's only been a few hours right Janis: maybe I can Janis: oh God, I'll have to explain the entire Buster and Rio saga if I even want to explain tonight Grace: I'll drop you off if I ever get there Janis: hope your driver isn't the kidnap kind Grace: Don't that would be the perfect end to my evening Grace: he lives by nan & grandad, right? maybe I'll go there Janis: k but you'll have to share the bed if he won't let me in Grace: lowkey would have to give you the bed cos it's my fault so 🤞🤞 he does Grace: so over sofas OMG Janis: should make Saint swap you Janis: he'd fall for it Grace: my back hurts so much okay I haven't done yoga since I was like 8 Janis: should join mother on the lawn Grace: 😱😱😱 Grace: mhmmm LIVING for any direct comparisons between me & her Janis: defs gonna slutshame her into dressing her age Grace: ughhhh Grace: how could you ever sit him down for dinner with them Janis: you know, take the piss out of them relentlessly behind their back Janis: feel him up a bit under the table, standard Grace: thanks for that mental 📷 I didn't want or need, hun Janis: soz Grace: he's hot but like you're also there so Grace: awks Janis: I won't take offense Janis: though my ego is wounded Grace: nbd I just haven't been a hoe for a while & that's obvs everything I am rn Janis: didn't you Janis: fair boy Grace: the one who left or the one who you kept blowing up my phone every sec I was with Grace: cos either way no Janis: oh Janis: well, doubt you're missing much on either score Grace: I know exactly what I'm missing with my ex thanks Grace: & I don't hook up with 19 year olds who lie to me Janis: not good Grace: like you said, this town is full of the same kind of people Janis: how is it so crap Janis: with some lads Janis: like Grace: they don't care Grace: I've spent hours memorising every clip they like but there's no getting any of the same back Janis: relatable but still Janis: felt more getting a checkup at the drs Grace: you have to put it in for most of them cos they don't even understand the layout but they'll still ask you if it was good Grace: imagine being that confident Janis: I am Janis: but not gay Janis: soz ladies Grace: 💔 Janis: don't you 💔 weirdo Grace: it's for the one hot white boy you stole by being hetero so Janis: I offered and you ew'd Janis: let the record show Grace: shut up Janis: he's probably so single now Grace: STOP Grace: it's been like a hour or something Janis: I ran away Janis: he's gonna be so Grace: Babe Grace: just make him understand Janis: no pressure Grace: well duh Grace: there's a reason I don't let boys that close to me Janis: you're saying it like I don't know Janis: not my first rodeo Janis: it just happened Grace: you know what you did, that's more than any ex I've ever had Janis: well Janis: done now Grace: Yeah Janis: should I wait or tell him I'm alright now on here Grace: I'd wanna know you were okay but you know him Grace: is it better to just show up? Janis: I think he'd wanna know too but like Janis: ugh fuck it Janis: wish me luck Grace: obvs

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Janis & Jimmy

Janis: I know we said no more plans Janis: but hear me out Jimmy: Go on Janis: I'm sick of my fam being on my back Janis: and they've only ramped it up since the whole joyride, which didn't even happen so Janis: 💡 Jimmy: What? Janis: It's a bit weird but reckon you can handle it, it won't take much Janis: 'cos obvs they think you're so 😎 you've just gotta come and be 😇 at 'em for a sec so they calm down Janis: like I said, their concern does not ever last long but I can't hack this bullshit, my sister's at it now as well Jimmy: I ain't going to church but if it ain't that Janis: Church nan ain't white nan, you're fine Janis: unless you hit her up too Jimmy: Is she as fit as your white nan 'cause then I might do Janis: questions like this are why you're in the bad books Jimmy: I weren't planning to bend her over a pew, you're alright Jimmy: I can fake 😇 Janis: Can you not be so disgusting please Janis: heavy dose of the good 📔 asap Jimmy: You gonna give me a smack with it? Janis: You'd obvs like it so no Janis: focus, boy Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: So business like today, you Jimmy: there an actual plan then or what? Janis: Um yes Janis: got your listening 👂s on now? Jimmy: crack on and we'll see Janis: not rocket science, like Janis: just got to come over and not sneak in, actually acknowledge my parents exist for once Janis: no fucker else is here, even Gracie is gone so I'll want to die slightly less Jimmy: I'll bring my homework, ain't started owt yet & there's a art project that you're the perfect muse for Janis: Good thinking Janis: you know, be yourself, they ain't thick but show them that there's definitely no 💀pact going on here Janis: just 🤓💕 Jimmy: I get it, no using our blood as paint Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 💔 Janis: no one more than me, trust Jimmy: I'll 💀💀💀 you first chance I get baby Janis: 🤤🤤🤤 Janis: just get through dinner Janis: what do you like, anyway Jimmy: When? Janis: oh, tonight Janis: if you can? Jimmy: I don't have any white robes, like Jimmy: What else do 😇 wear? Janis: as discussed, burning cross is fine Janis: not to wear just to show your true colours, whitey Janis: 🤔 idk Jimmy: You have to kill me yourself, Jules, the death pact ain't between me, your dad and his shotgun Janis: Not likely Janis: total hippie pacifist loser Janis: gives you an idea of the dresscode but I won't be able to pretend I'm 😍 Janis: can only act so much Jimmy: So 😎 but in yellow or some shit? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: maybe you should ask Mia Janis: queen of fashion Jimmy: Hang on then Janis: 😏 Jimmy: She's typing Janis: edge of my seat Janis: she's so witty Jimmy: #same Jimmy: 👀🍿 Janis: 😂 Janis: must be buzzing Janis: not getting any #content from gracie rn Jimmy: I'm gonna need you to skim read this back to me, I don't do essays in the hols Janis: so chatty, her Janis: RBF would never give it away Jimmy: [sends whatever the hell Mia has] Jimmy: what colour is the new black? Janis: awh, she misses us too Janis: very helpful, basically, ditch the 😎 and your usual is fine Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you actually alright with this, yeah Jimmy: Do you want me to kick off to prove I'm obvs still 😎 and you're alright to still fancy me? Janis: shut up Janis: it's just idk Janis: bit serious Janis: but they will not leave me alone it's ridiculous Jimmy: Don't ask them if I can 💍 you ✔ Jimmy: or 💀💀💀 you ✔✔ Janis: about the gist Janis: dickhead Janis: don't need to like you that much Janis: then you'll never escape 'em either Jimmy: It's nowt I can't handle Jimmy: have had a girlfriend before, like Jimmy: she had parents an' all, even with the northern life expectancy at about 51 Janis: I'm sure they were normal people though Janis: #normalfornorthern Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Yeah I were just begging them to take me in Jimmy: thing were she was begging her dad's best mate to take her out Janis: 😬 Janis: would've made mealtimes a bit awks Jimmy: It did do when they were playing footsie under the table Jimmy: but he's got them well and truly under now so it all came right in the end Janis: Gross Janis: we've got a similar story but defs one to avoid Janis: touchy subject, literally Jimmy: 🤐 about that on the night, gotcha girl Janis: 👍 Janis: weren't me though, 'fore you ask Jimmy: weren't about to Jimmy: there's some shit I'm better off not knowing, I reckon Janis: not very #goals Janis: meant to be dying to know everything about me Jimmy: then I'd have to return the favour Jimmy: you're alright Janis: my thoughts exactly Jimmy: 💕 Janis: can get back to whatever shit you were up to then Jimmy: ☕�� Janis: wouldn't have been impressive if I'd guessed then Janis: good to know Jimmy: least you've got a clue Jimmy: they've got me teaching the new lass Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: trusts you again, at least Janis: gutted though Jimmy: no other dickhead'll do it Jimmy: she nearly melted Pete's beautiful face off Janis: 😱 Janis: why weren't she sacked on the spot Janis: can't be risking their best asset like that Jimmy: She's the manager's goddaughter or some bollocks Janis: shameless nepotism and all Janis: scandal Jimmy: You were right though, no doubt he's my #ultimatewingman Jimmy: me and her, all this steam Janis: nothing as romantic as minor scalds Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: when you've seen a lass' milk frothing technique Janis: mhmm Janis: when that technique leaves half the staff needed to raid the first aid box Jimmy: #livingdangerously Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: you're so dumb Jimmy: 💔 ow Jimmy: worst burn of all that were Janis: Not my finest I'm aware but not on the clock Jimmy: what are you doing then, rich girl? Jimmy: if it ain't making fancy food for tonight, I'll be well offended Janis: and take away the only use my father has? Janis: I would never Janis: doing fuck all, if it suits your #poorlittlerichgirl narrative Jimmy: So come here Jimmy: Don't have to be 😇 at the CG Janis: you're busy Jimmy: I'm 💀💀💀 Janis: you're 🎓 Jimmy: Do you want me to survive til tonight or not? Janis: I mean if you died in a tragic steam related accident, they'll just be trying to comfort me so yeah Janis: probs Jimmy: Alright, dickhead Jimmy: I'll let her ⚰👻 me Jimmy: You only had the one job for fuck's sake Jimmy: 👋😘 Janis: Don't be a twat Janis: let her do it and you'll end up a 🥕 Jimmy: What? can't 👂 you being a twat over the sound of my 😱😱😱 Jimmy: it ain't quite death throes but she's getting somewhere Janis: go die quietly Janis: we ain't friends no more and I won't miss you Jimmy: with all them 🎻🎻 playing, how can I? Janis: seriously Jimmy: It's their livelihood this orchestra, the lads take it well seriously Janis: such a windup Jimmy: you Janis: how am I Janis: 🃏 Jimmy: soz, can't come to the phone 'cause I'm 💀💀💀 Jimmy: I'll miss you even though you don't me Janis: stop being so basic and I might Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: I'm in work and that's my job description near enough in full Janis: and they all 💕 it Jimmy: You jealous? Janis: why would I be Jimmy: that ain't an answer Janis: you're one to talk, boy Jimmy: Why am I? Janis: 'cos you always do that Jimmy: what are you on about, Jennifer? Janis: 🙄 Janis: you, div Janis: always answer questions with a question Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: Er yeah you do Janis: not gonna make it up Jimmy: I answer loads of questions Janis: yeah Janis: sure, I don't ask you loads so Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: ugh Janis: be nice Jimmy: you Janis: I am Janis: you're trying to make me jealous for some reason Jimmy: Why would I do that? Janis: You tell me Jimmy: you tell me, you're the one who reckons I'm doing it Janis: you're the one that keeps chatting about the new girl Jimmy: I ain't said nowt about her Janis: if you hadn't, I wouldn't know she existed Jimmy: if you don't wanna know what I'm up to, say that Janis: you can tell me without taking the piss Jimmy: No I can't, she's that shit Janis: Bummer Jimmy: Are you gonna stop being a dickhead now or what? Janis: Probably not Janis: genetic Janis: and I've got a lifelong streak going so Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: that's rude Janis: don't act like you didn't know Jimmy: had my 🤞 you were faking it, like Jimmy: 💔 Janis: too bad Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: bye Janis: arsehole Jimmy: now that's rude Janis: I got the hint Janis: no need for pleasantries Jimmy: 🥇🧠 you Jimmy: grabbing hints I ain't even putting about Jimmy: no need for you to be in a right mard more like Janis: you've been pretty clear Janis: even without answering questions Janis: forget it, like Jimmy: clear about what? that I wanna see you, yeah Jimmy: I get that your parents are on your case but I ain't done nowt but said I'll help Janis: no Janis: never mind Janis: I need to get out of this house Jimmy: So come here Jimmy: like I said Janis: I'm clearly in a bad mood, like you said Jimmy: and what? Janis: you don't need that Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: I always need you Janis: say it again Jimmy: I need you all the fucking time, alright? Janis: yeah Janis: definitely alright Janis: more than Jimmy: then just Janis: I am Jimmy: Are you? Jimmy: 'cause I Janis: the bus ain't here but yeah Janis: I really wanna see you Janis: know it ain't been any time really but Jimmy: You need to move in with your fit nan, girl Jimmy: living in the middle of nowt ain't working Jimmy: I'll go have a word Janis: you did not hit it off as well as you're reckoning, babe Janis: soz Jimmy: actually 💔 Jimmy: no salt needed for this caramel with all them 😭 of mine Janis: 😏 Janis: know how you feel Janis: being the favourite had its perks, namely that spare room Janis: no more Jimmy: I don't how that feels but being no fuckers fave has its perks an' all Jimmy: namely I don't give a damn if Ian don't want you in my room Janis: come on, you're definitely the boy's fave Janis: not like its Ian Jimmy: It's Grace Jimmy: he's too young to know better obvs Janis: how she likes 'em Janis: where she is atm, so my other sister can swan about being the ultimate rich girl Jimmy: You're gonna have to stay, if only to win our kid round Jimmy: I just ain't having it Janis: tryna pit me against her ain't the best idea to get me to do anything, FYI Janis: but luckily I wanna anyway Jimmy: I ain't saying that, I'm saying do it for me Jimmy: and I'll do owt for you Janis: a lot to promise Jimmy: only if you're asking for a lot off me Janis: d'ya trust me then Jimmy: Should I? Janis: I don't know Janis: probably not, track record would say Jimmy: There a but coming? Janis: I want you to Jimmy: There you are then Janis: I will try Janis: no promises though Jimmy: no need for any Jimmy: got my own track record, going round in my head, talking shit Janis: yeah Janis: s'alright Janis: just promise to 💔 in an interesting, inventive way at least Janis: and I won't cheat on you Jimmy: you'll be a 🥇 muse til the end Jimmy: make it easy that Janis: you're welcome Jimmy: 💕 Janis: won't let on I ain't got a 🖤 to break Jimmy: you mean you can't 'cause it'd be fake Janis: you reckon Jimmy: I've 👂 it in there, babe Janis: must've been your own Janis: long since 💀👑 remember Jimmy: Yours is faster Jimmy: such an athlete you Janis: alright Janis: since you've been cute about it Jimmy: You feeling alright? Janis: ha ha Janis: I can relent, tah Jimmy: I was expecting a challenge Jimmy: ready to take my pulse an' all there I were Janis: anything but actual work with you Jimmy: 😏 Janis: didn't admit it was fast 'cos of you or anything so I still win Jimmy: you didn't deny it were Jimmy: go on Janis: not the point Janis: shh Jimmy: say it then Janis: why Jimmy: you reckon it's true, why not? Janis: because 😳 Janis: is why Jimmy: You're so Jimmy: when you 😳 Janis: are you taking the piss Janis: it's your fault so Jimmy: I'm not Janis: good Janis: don't, like Janis: 'cos I Jimmy: I'm not, like Jimmy: you're just really Jimmy: it Jimmy: 💀💀💀s me Janis: I just want you Janis: a lot Jimmy: it's alright Janis: I'm glad 😏 Jimmy: be 💔 if you weren't Janis: trying to tell you how much I am here Jimmy: go on Janis: I'm no poet Janis: or 🔥 sext writer Janis: but I think about you too much Janis: and I'd rather be with you than doing fuck all else Jimmy: What do you think? Janis: about you? Jimmy: Yeah Janis: Just like Janis: everything Janis: the way you look and sound Janis: when I touch you Janis: how you feel Janis: how it feels when you touch me Jimmy: It feels different with you too Jimmy: than I thought it would Jimmy: and it's been before Jimmy: I get it Janis: yeah Janis: a bit Jimmy: 🤏 Janis: it's different Jimmy: I don't wanna call you a ❄ right now Jimmy: but you are different Jimmy: you make me feel Janis: I ain't ever before Janis: felt, like Jimmy: no 🖤 you, I heard Janis: No I mean Janis: idk Jimmy: go on, I'll still get my head through the door when you get here Jimmy: promise Janis: I ain't had a boyfriend 'cos it was just Janis: nothing Janis: guess they were all just shit, yeah Jimmy: Getting with people you ain't seeing again is a bit Jimmy: the chemistry's there or it ain't Jimmy: you don't really have chance to say owt unless you're the dickhead giving out ratings after Janis: doubt it would've phased him Janis: head bigger than yours Jimmy: that's your type then Janis: shut up Janis: I ain't got a type Jimmy: You just gave yourself away there, girl Janis: I reckon it's a series of unfortunate events Janis: actually Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Janis: ugh Jimmy: that were for me not you Jimmy: 🥇 boyfriend and still 😭😭 Jimmy: can't win with you Janis: you do Janis: that's the whole point Jimmy: beat out knobhead with a bigger head 🏆💪 Jimmy: get it engraved on the 🏆 Janis: go on then Janis: add the time you gave him mad evils Jimmy: Hang on Jimmy: I've had the pleasure an' all Janis: mhmm Janis: lucky you Jimmy: nowt's coming to mind Jimmy: his head ain't that big after all 💔 for you Janis: you were probably wasted Jimmy: Alright, pisshead, now I know you're taking the piss Janis: wanna admit you weren't Jimmy: you've seen me wasted once, there were scotch and buses involved Jimmy: only the one bellend and I'm related to him Jimmy: OMG is Ian your ex 😱😱😱 Janis: 😂 Janis: yeah Janis: you guessed it, very bitter about it Jimmy: that explains feeling nowt Jimmy: he can't get it up, why he's fuming all the time Janis: that explains that too Janis: sadly not how I remember it so Janis: insulting you'd suggest such a thing Jimmy: keep them memories to yourself, tah Janis: rude Janis: you talk about your ex Jimmy: she's a mum but she ain't yours Janis: pst Janis: it ain't actually Ian Jimmy: sounds like what you'd say if it were, that Jimmy: and no need to list every lad on the back of my 🏆 like Janis: fuck off Jimmy: bit rude Janis: rude you're calling me a slag Jimmy: never said that Jimmy: you said they were all shit Jimmy: that's more than the one you reckon I've met Janis: only the one in brazil Janis: very unlikely you've bumped into him Jimmy: #plottwist Janis: 😱 Jimmy: I'm just trying to say Jimmy: whatever you did before I got here or before we were a real #goals couple Jimmy: you don't need to tell me Jimmy: I'm not gonna make it weird Janis: just say you don't want to Janis: it's fine Jimmy: that's not Janis: Whatever Jimmy: Shut up, no Jimmy: I haven't done owt Janis: then drop it Jimmy: stop fighting with me Jimmy: I like you so much Jimmy: that's all I were trying to get at Janis: well I was just trying to Janis: it don't matter Janis: it's alright Jimmy: I'm sorry, I'll shut up Janis: you don't have to be sorry Jimmy: 🤐 me Janis: but I wanna talk to you Janis: know I'm shit at it Jimmy: I'm the one who keeps putting my foot in it today Janis: nah Janis: you're good Janis: at all of it Jimmy: Bollocks, I'm crap Janis: no you ain't Janis: I'm the one who don't get it Jimmy: what? Janis: 🖤 remember Jimmy: yeah but that was before Jimmy: mine weren't 💕 and 🌹 either Jimmy: we're in this together Janis: I Janis: I'm trying Jimmy: 🥇 you Jimmy: I mean it Janis: tah Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: we can just Janis: yeah? Jimmy: it's alright with me Jimmy: more than Jimmy: how things are going Janis: good Janis: just tell me Janis: I feel like Janis: starting shit fake just makes it even more confusing Jimmy: Not a top 💡 Jimmy: I get it, alright Jimmy: I weren't expecting owt like this to come from it Jimmy: I weren't gonna let it Janis: yeah, obviously, like Janis: not as if I'm saying you knew from the off or anything Janis: or like if you had just sent me an unsolicited dick pic or something then this would all be so easy Jimmy: obvs that would have worked an' all Jimmy: been ages for me, chatting lasses up though Janis: I get it Janis: when you look like that you don't need to Jimmy: 1. 😳 Jimmy: 2. I didn't wanna Janis: you had other shit Janis: not the be all end all Jimmy: feeling nowt ❌ for me Jimmy: weren't gonna happen Jimmy: unless I 👻⚰ Janis: being dead makes everything easier Jimmy: that's where I fucked up most Jimmy: just makes you fitter and more mysterious Jimmy: don't need to tell you 🧛 girl Janis: you're too nice Janis: have to really commit to being a dead cunt, like Jimmy: 😂 Janis: 💀 serious Janis: even gracie can see it Jimmy: that I'm too nice or that you ain't? Janis: both but latter goes without saying Jimmy: that's what I were thinking Jimmy: but the former is only for tips Janis: alright Jimmy: at least fake believe me, Joanne Janis: not what a cunt would do Jimmy: you're not a cunt to me Jimmy: only a massive dickhead Janis: give me time Jimmy: not for that Janis: 💕 Janis: like I said, I'm trying Jimmy: if you weren't, I wouldn't be Jimmy: like I said, it's never felt like Jimmy: I've not Janis: just like the first time yeah Jimmy: no Jimmy: thank fuck Janis: was your ex your first gf Jimmy: and only Jimmy: til now Janis: really Jimmy: you're surprised? Janis: I'd have guessed at least a couple Jimmy: we were together ages Jimmy: not actually in my 40s Janis: makes sense Jimmy: did at the time, she was a mate first Jimmy: about for everything Jimmy: I didn't have to explain how much of a headcase my dad were Jimmy: or that my mum Janis: s'nice Janis: easy Janis: my idea of hell for me but there's logic to it Jimmy: It weren't though Jimmy: she might've been nice and easy but not to me Jimmy: every other lad in the north Janis: why'd you stay with her for ages then Jimmy: Does it matter? Janis: maybe Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos if you're just a glutton for punishment then I should probably go Jimmy: Do you wanna go? Janis: no Janis: but I should if you're just trying to get hurt Jimmy: might've been then Jimmy: that's not this Janis: okay Jimmy: we were just doing what we saw our parents do Jimmy: like maybe if we could make it work it meant they just weren't giving it a decent enough go Jimmy: then I could turn around to them and say crack on Jimmy: fuck it up differently tah Janis: you and everyone else Janis: only reason the species is still going Janis: got to be arrogant enough to reckon you can right all their wrongs Jimmy: I weren't gonna raise a kid she had with her dad's mate to prove owt though Jimmy: so that were the end of that Janis: done better than all the blokes in my fam then Jimmy: 🥇 me, my dear Janis: 🤡 them Jimmy: then my plan were to just crack on with any lasses who were up for it Jimmy: but turns out I weren't Jimmy: 🎻😭💔 Janis: you really couldn't fake it? Janis: taking your oscar back tbh Jimmy: if you don't know by now that I weren't faking nowt with you, take all your own 🏆🏆🏆🏆 back Janis: I Janis: I fucked with it all too Janis: which was annoying because you were such a dickhead Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: you're the dickhead Janis: you were though Janis: even if you've shown your true 😇 ways Jimmy: couldn't have you falling for me, Juliet Jimmy: with every other lass already 😍😍😍 Janis: oh please Janis: you were not concerned about that, mr big ego Jimmy: 😱 Janis: don't act like I gave you any indication I was that bitch Jimmy: you said you were into it, how do you reckon you weren't giving me them? Janis: into it don't = 😍 at you does it Jimmy: Alright 🤤 then Janis: 😏 Janis: didn't deny that idiot Jimmy: would if you could Janis: no I wouldn't Jimmy: just to be awkward you would Janis: 😒 Janis: you want awkward Janis: k Jimmy: I want you Jimmy: I can sort your mood out Janis: bold Jimmy: and true an' all Jimmy: Deny that Janis: just making more work for yourself rn Janis: shh Jimmy: I ain't scared of it, rich girl Jimmy: I'll show you Janis: don't be so Jimmy: what? Janis: everything Janis: distracting Jimmy: you Janis: it's all you Janis: I feel mental Jimmy: keep that between us Jimmy: challenge's been accepted, you gotta give me a chance to win your parents round Janis: all about the heroics of rescuing me Janis: I know Jimmy: Nah, fed up of lasses in distress, me Jimmy: have a go at helping me Jimmy: if and when you fancy it Janis: easy Jimmy: so 💪 you Janis: obvs Janis: and you're so damn helpable Jimmy: you're a bit nice Jimmy: I won't say owt to anyone though Janis: no one would believe you, baby Jimmy: I could prove it but I don't want you to stop Janis: you just Janis: deserve it Jimmy: that your plan now? Jimmy: 💀💀💀 without touching or looking at me Jimmy: just niceness Janis: ain't that the phrase Janis: still need to see you though don't take that from me Jimmy: I dunno can't think of owt else but you Jimmy: being here Janis: I'm not sorry Jimmy: might be when you hear how fast my 💓 is Janis: nah, saving you, remember Janis: you're safe with me, like Jimmy: yeah so shit at this you Jimmy: nowt close to the right words them Janis: I'm trying, you know that Janis: wanna have something right for once Jimmy: Baby Jimmy: you do loads right Janis: maybe Janis: plenty wrong too though Jimmy: sounds and feels fake to me, that Janis: I'm alright with you thinking it is Jimmy: get alright with how 🥇 you are Janis: be alright with how much I like you Jimmy: I am Janis: Good Janis: it'd be really hard to stop now so Jimmy: don't then Janis: tell me you don't want me to Jimmy: [voice memo cos extra and never does any work clearly] Janis: okay Janis: a bit 😍 Janis: maybe Jimmy: 🤏 Janis: that's what I'll tell this bus driver anyway Janis: 👀 to the front Jimmy: oh he wants to see something? hang on Jimmy: [😒 selfie] Jimmy: crack on, dickhead, my missus could walk here faster Janis: 😂 Janis: putting that as my phone background Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Give me a new one then Janis: [looking whatever kind of cute she would be tbh] Jimmy: Oi Janis: ? Janis: weren't flipping you off or anything Jimmy: where's my warning? Jimmy: I just dropped a flat white Janis: victimless crime Janis: drink it hard if you're gonna, people Janis: and if that's how you react to a 📸 better meet me outside Jimmy: it's alright, I blamed the new girl Jimmy: send me a video and we might get her the sack Janis: I'll get on it then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hate her already Jimmy: me too Janis: nice save Jimmy: come on, babe Jimmy: don't like any dickhead but you Janis: 💕 Janis: but see how you excluded Pete and the 👴👵 by saying dickheads so Janis: 💔 Jimmy: I'm only human, soz Jimmy: reminds me though Jimmy: he's got #band drama Jimmy: if you really wanna be a hero 🎤 Janis: 😱 Janis: how's he gonna make it big at this rate Jimmy: with you as the voice and face #duh Janis: you wanna live that groupie fantasy and have the whole band or? Jimmy: 1. I'll be the 📷 Jimmy: 2. just you and him Jimmy: 3. I'll tell him you'll audition then Janis: 1. obvs Janis: 2. double obvs, can't all be the #face Janis: 3. lol no Jimmy: 4. 💔 Janis: you will be when he's 😬 at my voice Jimmy: don't call my bf stupid Jimmy: he knows 🤩🤩🤩 when he sees and hears it Janis: I would never Janis: love him too, thanks Jimmy: #loveyourself too then tah Janis: stop being a dork Jimmy: 😱 Janis: come on, I wanna talk about you, not me Jimmy: I'll 🤐 Janis: you can Janis: it's fun to make you loud Jimmy: how much longer are you gonna be stuck on the bus? Janis: too long Janis: I'm really Jimmy: tell me Janis: I'm just Janis: I need to be alone with you already Jimmy: you should've let me let the new girl melt my face off Jimmy: we could've been alone in the back of an ambulance Janis: famously not, don't let you just piss about back there Janis: and I can get us alone without involving any bimbos Janis: or ruining your beautiful face Jimmy: must give less of a shit up north 'cause I swear I have Jimmy: might've been more out of it than the memory suggests Janis: pisshead Jimmy: so sweet you Janis: soz Jimmy: I get it, it's hard for you being a lightweight Jimmy: especially when I'm so 💪🏆 Janis: far as I remember it, I've looked after you, not the other way 'round Jimmy: leave it out Janis: just saying Jimmy: that was one time Jimmy: and if you wanna get stuck into Ian's supply after a party I'll do it for you Janis: I can look after myself Janis: 💪🏆 Jimmy: me an' all Janis: 'course Jimmy: I can Janis: No, I know Janis: not taking the piss Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I didn't mean to Jimmy: forget about it Janis: but actually Jimmy: I said forget about it Janis: told you I'm shit don't let it ruin it Jimmy: It's not you, is it? Janis: what Jimmy: what that night turned into, me and him Jimmy: you weren't meant to be involved Janis: you don't have to explain that Janis: I really weren't trying to take the piss, I don't reckon it's funny Janis: but none of my business either Jimmy: yeah but that's just it, I do 'cause it weren't a one off Janis: your dad's a cunt Janis: I know that much Jimmy: to me 'cause I Jimmy: just to me like that Janis: I'm glad it's not the kids Janis: really glad Janis: but you know I'm not gonna like Janis: tell Janis: not that I want that for you or anything Janis: but I'm not stupid, I know that wouldn't help fuck all Jimmy: I'd never let him Jimmy: not to them Janis: I know Janis: you look after them really well Jimmy: I couldn't do nowt when it was my mum but she started as much shit as him Jimmy: they were both just Janis: Not what they should be Janis: or where Janis: yeah Jimmy: it kept getting worse Janis: 'then your mum left? Jimmy: it couldn't go on like that Jimmy: something had to change Jimmy: it did Janis: but instead of fixing it's just Janis: a different kind of fucked Jimmy: 'course Janis: That's shit Janis: you deserve not fucked up, not saying I can give you that or anything useful but for the record Jimmy: life is Janis: yeah Janis: got no evidence to the contrary Jimmy: you know when you're a kid and you hid under the blankets, that's still me Jimmy: 😎 or 📷 instead Janis: at least you stay put Janis: braver than running Janis: my speciality then and now Jimmy: 1. where am I gonna go? Back to my mum or my ex ain't options Jimmy: 2. Cass and Bobby need me where they are Janis: 1. anywhere they ain't Janis: 2. that's the problem Jimmy: There's no bravery in nowt I do Jimmy: at least you're doing something Janis: I'd be doing something if I stayed gone Jimmy: Why haven't you? Janis: It's harder than you'd think Janis: There's some things you gotta do that I ain't ready to yet, I guess Janis: it's like killing yourself, yeah Janis: everyone reckons this shits the easy way out, but you blow your brains out or suck dick for a place to stay Janis: you know, just 'cos it's not brave don't mean it ain't hard to give into Jimmy: Yeah Janis: my sister did it Janis: properly Jimmy: she never came back? Janis: in the end Janis: at first she was the same though Janis: worse, she'd always be coming back just to see us and stuff, I don't do that, I just run out of places I can be too Jimmy: You can be with me Janis: You underestimate how little I can be with them Janis: thanks, still though Jimmy: You heard me Jimmy: You can stay Janis: you mean it, don't you Jimmy: I don't want you to leave Janis: I don't want you to either Janis: I don't mean here but Janis: me Jimmy: If I leave this town, I won't leave you Jimmy: he can only make me do the one Janis: Jimmy Janis: I'm glad I met you, even if it's because life is shit and Jimmy: I'm glad too, even if that's the only thing I've got to be glad for Jimmy: and it's closer to Easter Jimmy: and we ain't American Janis: alright shut up Janis: words are your thing, not mine Jimmy: they're a bit your thing Jimmy: I like talking to you Jimmy: and I work in retail so I don't like talking to anyone Janis: means a lot Janis: truly Jimmy: should do Jimmy: ask my ex, never communicate me Janis: that was the problem Janis: not the baby daddy drama Jimmy: she wouldn't have fucked him if I could string together a sentence, obvs Janis: he better be so daddy or what's she doing Janis: not that she asked me to judge her life and choices but here I am Jimmy: he's not Jimmy: but at least she never went for Ian Jimmy: as step mums go, not my top pick Janis: not as hot a concept as porn would have you believe, like Jimmy: he likes his missus a bit older, give him that Janis: got to have something going for him Janis: not enough but you know Jimmy: you'd fucking have to be legal drinking age for a date with him an' all Jimmy: imagine the #bants Jimmy: a few under the table snakebites ain't cutting through that Janis: 🤢 Janis: I refuse to think about a first date scenario altogether, nevermind an @iantaylor8 first date Jimmy: Fuck me, you've never done one Jimmy: right Jimmy: I'm taking you Jimmy: and we ain't leaving before every cliche is ✔ Janis: 😂 if only you'd known this when it was #sofakesoextra Jimmy: I know you better now Jimmy: you're gonna hate this, baby Janis: 🤤 Janis: that's what does it for me Jimmy: no 🤤 on the 1st date Janis: bit of 😋 then? Jimmy: we'll see Janis: playing it 😎 Janis: very apt Jimmy: can you do tomorrow? Janis: Why not Janis: if you're the perfect 😇 tonight Janis: free as a bird Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Alright, I'll pick you up at 8 Janis: is that all the info I get? Jimmy: from my own door 'cause you're staying Janis: that makes me Jimmy: 😱😱😱 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA WEAR THOUGH Jimmy: I don't have a date outfit for you here Jimmy: oh no Janis: 🤞 Grace has gone 👻 'cos that was frightening Jimmy: where does your sister live? might need Grace's suitcase Janis: don't take the piss Jimmy: this is serious omg Janis: if you don't stop Jimmy: BABE Jimmy: how are you not freaking out? Jimmy: it's our 1st date Janis: I hate you Janis: #triggering me Jimmy: I'm soz Janis: felt that Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: baby, I'm so sorry Janis: well you should hide 'cos finally off that fucking bus Jimmy: You said I'm safe with you Jimmy: can't make me unsafe now Janis: let's see if I can stay mad at you, boy Jimmy: Challenge accepted, girl Janis: don't bring your new mate Jimmy: who? Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: [comes at him] Jimmy: [outside or inside?] Janis: [a point lmao, let you decide where he is, she ain't gonna have much chill either way] Jimmy: [lets say he was waiting outside so he don't get sacked cos likewise] Janis: [let 'em have a moment] Jimmy: [a really extra moment cos emotions are running high] Janis: [truly, so much revealed] Jimmy: [it makes me die, what's it been days? weeks? boy ain't gonna have no secrets left] Janis: [when you just wanna talk] Jimmy: [she ain't the samaritans calm down please] Janis: [we know she wanna too it fine] Jimmy: [oooh can we say his shift is over so they can go shopping for date clothes and be cute nerds] Janis: [um yes] Jimmy: [yaaas just imagine she's expecting him to go back in and he does but to get his jacket like surprise] Janis: [so confusion but then #onboard for the #bants of it all] Jimmy: [not even telling her where they are going just like follow me lol don't get lost bab but then it's obvs] Janis: [when you get to just have fun for once, also changing room shenanigans are always the one] Janis: [and can actually get a 🔥 lewk] Jimmy: [literally if you don't get kicked out of at least one changing room for saucy behaviour and another shop for a playfight who are you tbh] Janis: [truly, remember you got a date with her 'rents tonight though, gotta try on some 'good boy' clothes (but ain't no one tryna make you buy them fr)] Jimmy: [just do it for the lols boy] Janis: [get on the bus to hell lads] Jimmy: [see how many old ladies you can offend] Janis: [heheheh gotta try and get it out of your system if you've gotta be good, obvs] Jimmy: [there's your excuse not that you need one] Janis: [truly, we all know you're doing the bare minimum later lol] Jimmy: [she should teach him more signing though cos cute] Janis: [a parent pleaser for sure, should also take a selfie with cali 'cos loling imagining it and then the relevant peeps, grace and mia tbh, can see] Jimmy: [omg yes mia would be fuming cos cali ain't here for her bye] Janis: [said as if she's graces' gf and they're being shady lmao] Jimmy: [thank god we didn't go that far] Janis: [no one needs that in their life] Jimmy: [especially Grace, I'm mean enough] Jimmy: [there should be a bus photoshoot cos he'd have his camera for homework and imagine how annoying] Janis: [big tut energy] Jimmy: [exactly then you can make out til they tut themselves to death] Janis: [soz you're bitter and can't remember being young and in love ladies] Jimmy: [one of them should say something judgey in irish cos always a thing that they think young peeps don't speak it] Janis: [when you usually pretend you can't speak it but you can and you say something sassy back] Jimmy: ? Janis: she's just asking for your number Janis: but I told her to back off soz Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: but lipstick on dentures is my top turn on Jimmy: fuck's sake babe Janis: you can 🤞 she's on the bus back 'cos won't be joining you with that attitude Jimmy: [😏] Jimmy: if you loved me you'd accommodate my kinks Jimmy: and ask to borrow her 💄 Janis: [turns away from him dramatically, but does actually ask, let us assume the lady is a moody hoe and is like no bitch though] Jimmy: [gives her a look like well? even though he knows the answer] Janis: [shrugs] Janis: your girlfriends a real bitch Jimmy: I am seducing someone else right in front of her Jimmy: what kind of dickhead Janis: then she's no third if she's gonna get all jealous Janis: have to stick with Pete Janis: what a shame, bye Doris Jimmy: 💔👵🎻👋 Janis: if you loved me you'd text him Jimmy: [does] Jimmy: you've got an audition next week Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [just looking at him like bitch you better not lmao] Jimmy: [shows her the text loling cos obvs he has not it'd just be a work question or whatever] Janis: [shoves him but is too loling] Janis: he's the one auditioning tah Janis: don't put it like that though, don't sound very nice Jimmy: [when you're 😏 but inside you're 😒] Janis: [just laying your head on his shoulder 'cos truly the longest bus ride] Jimmy: [playing with her hair as per because can never stop yourself] Janis: soz Jimmy: why? Janis: making you do this Janis: defs an IOU Jimmy: [shrugs and snuggles her more] Janis: you'll get it when it's happening Janis: [shrugs back] Jimmy: gotta start my homework some time Janis: what you gotta do Jimmy: 📷 and 🎨 you Janis: your teacher is gonna be sick of my face Jimmy: needs to give us less bollocks prompts then Jimmy: you're what interests me Janis: 😏 Janis: [but really 😳] Jimmy: and what's more significant than an IRL Romeo and Juliet obvs Jimmy: she should give me more marks for the nod to english coursework Janis: sure she will Jimmy: [another shrug but wrapping his arms around her then] Janis: ['you're good' in his ear from the snug] Jimmy: [when you're too white to 😳 and it not be obvs so you have to kiss her for distraction like close your eyes rn thanks] Janis: [not gonna say no, avert your gaze bus grandmas] Jimmy: [also stop the ILY curse for a bit so] Janis: [least they'll only take up one seat now instead of two 'cos defs getting on his lap, welcome everyone lol] Jimmy: [imagine taking that seat though oh hey] Janis: [just like 'scuse me thirdwheeling these teens] Jimmy: [it's a bad idea on many levels not least how turned on they are gonna be by the time they get to cali's but that's why I won't stop them lol] Janis: [have fun dealing with that or not] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: ['maybe we just stay on the bus'] Jimmy: [we all know whatever he wants to say it's just gonna be a shameless sound like always] Janis: [😏 'not a no' and kissing him harder like she cares about being quiet sure] Jimmy: [being extra as if to say do you want me to say no I don't think so] Janis: [just smiling into that kiss] Jimmy: [pausing to breathe and 😍 at her casually] Janis: [covering his eyes with her hands like don't look at me like that] Jimmy: [just loling] Janis: [pouting and hiding on his chest] Jimmy: [pouty lip kiss thing strikes again] Janis: stop being cute Jimmy: ['you' saying it out loud for the eye contact] Janis: [makes a noise 'cos don't know what else to do #overwhelmed] Jimmy: [kissing her neck but really soft cos lovebites aren't 😇] Janis: ['you're really gonna-'] Jimmy: ['what?' in her ear when he's kissed his way there] Janis: [shakes her head like nope, can't talk now bye] Jimmy: [doing whatever he can to make her say something/make a sound obvs keep looking away bus peeps] Janis: [saying 'shit!' just a bit too loud for these nosy ladies] Jimmy: they're gonna smack you with a shopping bag Janis: and when I get arrested for granny bashing, it'll be entirely your fault Jimmy: 😇 me Janis: no Janis: definitely not Janis: I think you just broke like, 4 seperate laws Jimmy: only 4? 💔 Jimmy: how many more stops is it? Janis: not a challenge, babe Janis: [looking out the window like ?! then 😒] Jimmy: could be if you come here Janis: ['we've already missed our stop so' collecting all their shit like] Jimmy: ['we had better just stay on here then' but helping] Janis: [just bitching like why didn't the driver say, I get off at the same stop everyday etc etc] Jimmy: [probably keep your mouth shut boy especially about how she wanted him to mind his business when she was on her way to you] Janis: [getting off this bus in a disgrace/huff] Jimmy: [🚬 guys you won't have chance when you get there] Janis: [try not to die in all the ways] Jimmy: [I'm loling cos he's carrying a plant] Janis: [lmao oh the effort to get left alone so you can get into more trouble again god bless] Jimmy: [just doing smoke rings like pay attention to me] Janis: [such a grumpy face] Jimmy: [putting the plant down so he can pick her up for a sec like don't be sad] Janis: ['I don't even wanna go and now we're gonna be late'] Jimmy: ['fashionably though' because remember all those lewks they tried on good times] Janis: [🙄 'you're not helpful' and picking up the plant like let's ride] Jimmy: [pouty face but on you go] Janis: [just smoke 'til you calm down a bit, babe, showing she is by slowing her pace so she's not running off] Jimmy: [nobody wants to do this its fine, bet Cali aren't buzzing at the prospect rn either] Janis: [probably not if they think he's some crackhead who tells her to steal cars lmao rude leave ur judgment at the door] Jimmy: [exactly] Janis: 💕 Janis: soz Jimmy: [holds his hand out like hold it please] Janis: [does] Jimmy: [swings it as they are walking] Janis: [😏 but more 😍 than smug 'always in babysitter mode, you' and nudges him gently] Jimmy: ['keep that between us, tah' cos he's not tryna babysit Gus or Diego lol or any of the cats] Janis: [mimes 🤐 'none of us are little enough, you're safe'] Jimmy: [shrugs cos Cass isn't either but hey ho] Janis: ['more feral than the cats, like, you'd miss yours so fast'] Jimmy: ['might do the dog' hilarious Jimothy we all know you don't hate Twix] Janis: [shakes head 'you play so hard to get'] Jimmy: [gives her a LOOK 'but I don't have to, since we're already late' pulls her into him using their linked hands, don't squash the plant boy] Janis: [a LOOK right back but close up 'cos now you are 'not meant to be being cool, remember'] Jimmy: [just staring at her really saucily like well then you'll have to do it for me] Janis: [looking at his lips like #distracted 'can't kick the habit, like'] Jimmy: [#same on both counts 'me either' just leaning in so much without actually kissing her] Janis: [making a noise of frustration like come on 'we could always be more fashionable'] Jimmy: [looking her up and down 'you couldn't be more... and back up to her face 'you're so...'] Janis: [taking his hands and putting 'em where he was looking] Jimmy: [finally kissing her so intensely because you're the most alone you've been all day] Janis: [make the most of how middle of nowhere it is for once] Jimmy: [a mood and a moment] Janis: [breaking off sporadically to tell him how hot he is, how much you want him etc etc, everything but ILY] Jimmy: [we all know we aren't getting actual words out of him rn except her name sometimes so pop off sis] Janis: [oh you two] Jimmy: [what a day and you're not even there yet] Janis: [lmao, thank god you're just going over for dinner, not like out out 'cos you're getting later by the minute here] Jimmy: [not to mention what you're gonna end up looking like after this] Janis: [her hair always be looking wild 'cos of you boy, such a giveaway] Jimmy: [that scalding tea there boo] Janis: [how to stop you, always fun lololololololol] Jimmy: [lets be nice and not haha just be late af] Janis: [you saucy onion] Jimmy: [it's been a minute since the changing rooms and yolo] Janis: [only 15 once henny] Jimmy: [only felt like this once too so they deserve it] Janis: [the lurve is so real truly she does not know what to do] Jimmy: [god bless] Janis: [how did we do the ily last time] Jimmy: [basically she got drunk and said it cos it was when he challenged her to outdrink him but he didn't say it back then cos couldn't and she was like don't forget I said it though but then he said it as they were falling asleep that night] Janis: [we've done so much] Jimmy: [hence we did to decide if we're keeping any of it cos rn none of that's happened] Jimmy: [*need] Janis: [it's all still here at least we can mix and match whatever we wanna baby] Jimmy: [yep] Janis: [for now, finish ya business and get gone] Jimmy: [honestly hurry up] Janis: [that's not what she said] Jimmy: [oh boo you funny fish] Janis: [hheeheheh but get ready for the awks lads] Jimmy: [oh lord he doesn't know what he's getting into here] Janis: [when you hate your parents, being so fake nice tonight henny] Jimmy: [cali will be shook] Janis: 👍 Jimmy: you alright? Janis: take the compliment Janis: doing well Jimmy: 🥇 us Janis: just like old times Janis: all this acting Jimmy: just like old times Jimmy: you talking bollocks Janis: charming Janis: its called conversation Janis: my wit is sparkling Jimmy: is it? Janis: you x2 ing that or gonna specify Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: and that weren't an answer Janis: yes to both, obviously Janis: why are you being rude Janis: just 'cos you can't to them? Jimmy: I'm not Janis: doubting my wit is rude Janis: tah Jimmy: show me it then Janis: Jimothy! Janis: shocked AND appalled Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: that's not the one, babe Jimmy: Jamie got closer Janis: Don't remind me Janis: miss him Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: ouch Jimmy: after everything I did for you out there in the middle of nowt Janis: really Janis: you're gonna remind me of that right now Jimmy: you should miss me Janis: I can't miss you more than I already do Jimmy: challenge accepted, Juliet Janis: [looking at him over the table like what you gon' do] Janis: ? Jimmy: [eye contact ftw] Jimmy: 😇 me Jimmy: [but under the table he's being a 😈] Janis: I hate you so much Janis: [when you're suddenly so focused on your meal like nothing to see here] Jimmy: how much? Janis: [shifts down in her seat/closer to what he's doing like 'that much'] Jimmy: [goes harder because of course] Janis: You're so Jimmy: go on Jimmy: I'm what? Janis: you're really really Jimmy: [stops like tell me] Janis: [imagine the grumpy face, cali like ?] Janis: hey Jimmy: ? Janis: now I really don't like you Jimmy: [just eating like 😏] Janis: [footsie like pay attention to me] Jimmy: [a look because he can't resist and we know it] Janis: [going from 😒 to 😏] Jimmy: [when Cali are talking to you and you have to pretend you're listening, thank god for all that practice he's had at customer service Janis: [lmao that fake smile taking you so far rn] Jimmy: [also v proud of him for eating whatever the food is because lbr its not gonna be what he's used to] Janis: [right, she would've told caleb not to do anything weird af but still] Jimmy: [and he hasn't thrown anything at her which is his fave thing to do] Janis: [imagine] Janis: so Janis: what's your verdict Jimmy: needs 🍅 sauce, obvs Janis: 😂 Janis: meant my parents, but if you hate 'em, start there Janis: he'll 😢 Jimmy: they're alright Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: I dunno Jimmy: weird but I'm used to you, like Jimmy: weirdest girl about Janis: piss off Janis: nothing like either of 'em Jimmy: never said you were Janis: better not Jimmy: come on Jimmy: that northern, not that thick Janis: didn't say you were Janis: you just like being mean to me Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: must be thinking of Jamie then Janis: which one are you again? Jimmy: I were gonna say we can still be mates then 💔 Jimmy: there's my answer Janis: ah Janis: my good pal Jim Janis: I remember Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [squeezing his hand] Jimmy: [draws a heart on her with his fingertip because he always used to do that and I've not] Janis: [when that makes you 😳 more than anything else] Jimmy: [writes 'you' in it cos close to ily as we can get rn] Janis: [when you have to excuse yourself for a hot sec] Jimmy: [when you're like oh shit shouldn't have done that cos you think you scared her away] Janis: won't leave you with them too long Janis: brb actually Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 💔 it'd be too 😈 and obvious for you to come find me rn Jimmy: I could fake choking to 💀💀💀 Jimmy: or 🤢🤢🤢 Janis: you're so committed to your role Janis: it's impressive Janis: but I want more time than that'd give us so Janis: [coming back don't be gone forever] Jimmy: [just staring at her shamelessly soz the in-laws] Janis: [sitting next to him instead of opposite 'cos an abudance of chairs to choose from deal lads] Jimmy: [kiss her cheek cos that's 😇] Janis: [is 😊 but whispers 'I miss you' whilst she's there] Jimmy: [tucking a strand of hair behind her ear like just being helpful and 😇 don't mind me] Janis: [so 😍 hurry this meal along tah bring out the dessert lol] Jimmy: [oh and does the thing where you pull the chair in to get her close to the table but also pulling her chair closer to his at the same time] Janis: [issa must, as close to sitting on him without actually] Jimmy: [and just like I'll casually leave my hand on your leg what a coincidence] Janis: [makes a 😋 noise like she's really enjoying this dessert but we all know] Jimmy: [is clock watching hardcore like when can we leave lol] Janis: [least you can just do the bare minimum here, hang in there kids] Jimmy: I miss you too Janis: you can show me Janis: when I'm showing you how grateful I am Jimmy: [just biting your lip like this is fine yep] Janis: [😏 then signing something at Diego who is presumably there chilling] Jimmy: ? Janis: [cue cali asking him about his art homework 'cos she was asking if they can use the space/his lights and shit] Janis: escape plan activated Jimmy: now I really like you Janis: show me that too Janis: not just a 🥇 muse tah Jimmy: or a 🥇 face Jimmy: 🧠🏆 you Janis: careful Janis: my head might not fit through the door Jimmy: I'll carry you through 👰 style Jimmy: about to ask if I can 💍 you obvs Janis: you don't reckon that's 😈 nah Janis: not the 40s up in here Jimmy: what can be more 😇 than the sanctity of them vows before god 🙏💕 Jimmy: when in 🍀 do as the paddys do Janis: you're really turning me off here Janis: 😏 Janis: god can watch but he don't need to get involved Jimmy: [does something to turn her on like am I though] Jimmy: found our 3rd then 🙌🎊 Janis: he was in our 💕 all along Janis: and please tell them we need to go now Jimmy: [does like oh we have to get started because we can't miss our bus home/get back too late etc] Janis: [does the thing where you make glasses with your fingers to 🤓 at him as they're walk/running out] Jimmy: [nudges her like oi] Janis: [kisses him so hard when they're barely out of sight like wait] Jimmy: [doing that walking but still kissing thing but kissing so hard that they just knock into a wall/door casually so obvs just gonna push her up against it and kiss for a bit] Janis: [lmao Pablo needs to walk past bye] Jimmy: [10000% yes] Jimmy: [wasn't even there for dinner but appears right then haha] Janis: [this fam comes and goes as they please no consideration lol] Jimmy: [true facts poor Caleb food is his love language Pablo how dare you] Janis: [also you're his chef child, probs out spending all your money doing who knows what] Jimmy: [those debts don't just appear overnight so yeah] Janis: [fun and games honey] Jimmy: [this fam 💔 me] Janis: [honestly, like way to prove everyone right guys] Jimmy: [fuming about it as if we didn't do this lol] Janis: [at least you two are enjoying yourself rn] Jimmy: [speaking of is there anything else we wanna do here?] Janis: [we probably know the vibe, see if we can find HW pics]

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