#i don't think i can come back from this

[idontlikeem]

Your icon brings me immensely joy

thank you!!! me too. i keep forgetting i changed my whole blog theme so every time i log in it's a nice surprise all over again 😂

#this is who i am now #i don't think i can come back from this

[lucabyte]

Taking pride in One's own appearance.

#you people are becoming my guinea pigs for my finally learning how to communicate information via comics. a thing ive needed to practice at #also BLEGH. YUCK. andrew hussie was right candy makes you sick. this is a little too saccharine for me. yeesh. let me get back to the meat. #isat #isat spoilers #in stars and time #in stars and time spoilers #isat fanart #in stars and time fanart #isat siffrin #isat loop #sifloop #doodlebyte #'let me get back to the meat' i say eyeing something similarly sickly in my sketches. at least it's mildly tormented as a counterbalance... #you people have no idea how much im having to stay my own hand. oh i can draw miserable nudity but the most basic of fluff? visceral #anyway i dont know the logistics of picking up a glass eye or where loop got money (besides pilfering from siffrin) & ive previously drawn #sif with a vague blank middle-grey eye as either being scarred over or a blank occular prosthesis put in quickly at the nearest town #i dont know that they'd have a glass eye during the game but considering prosthesis are reccomended to keep the skull etc from deforming #id imagine it would probably come up postgame as something to do now theyre not on a time limit trying to save the country #plus i assume that having it gouged at by a sadness wasnt exactly a clean wound by any measure #all this to say. idk i just wanted to get some information across in comic form to Test my Abilities #and we're far enough down now to say my absolute most wretchingly sweet fluff headcanon that actually inspired this #which is that i think siffrin gets into the habit of not wearing the eyepatch around loop so they kinda match. #and as a signifier to the other that they're letting their guard down around them. vulnerability etc. #just kinda wearing it around their neck so they don't lose it

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

True love is possible only in the next world. For new people. It it too late for us.

(Redraw for @pakhnokh's DTIYS post!)

#better drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangij #Finally I can redraw a pahknokh piece with *permission* B*) #I was so excited to see you (pakhnohk) do a dtiys! It's such a fun skill building activity & I really hope to see more people bring it back #The composition and melancholic feeling of the original piece is so lovely! Thank's for setting this up! #Lighting is still kind of my enemy. In the way that getting curb stomped is my enemy. I had fun trying to figure it out though but... #I have a long way to go and that's okay! #Sadly I feel like I overworked this and made the colours a mess B*( That's *Also* Okay - I learned something from it. #The Robert Kurvitz quote is one that I feel *really* fits the heartache of the yiling laozu and hanguang-jun era. #As painful as it is...No...I don't think there was ever a chance they could have had a true romance in wwx's first life #It was always going to be a tragedy. #Sometimes the right person comes at the wrong time. And when you realize what they really mean to you it is the wrong time once again #They get to try again though! They get to be happy B'*)

[expelliarmus]

#mine #doctor who #dwedit #michelle gomez #jenna louise coleman #now that it's 2024.... can you believe that series 9 is going to be 9 years old this year?!?! #when will missy come back to me :'( #but i do think she has a big finish set coming out soon #i'm remaking this from 2019 and still don't really like how the colouring came out #oh well #i need to watch this two parter in full again... i love it so much

[ineed-to-sleep]

So I've had this wip sitting in my folders for months now and decided to ressurect it to satiate the urge to draw these two again

#I actually finished a wip after abandoning it for so long alright iconic moment for me personally #this is them in the cab coming back from the warrens after getting their asses handed to them by all the szlachta #she handled herself a lil better but vincent is squishy and almost died like. 10 times #vtm #vtmb #the fledgling #brujah #oc.vince #oc.pepper #ship: viper #sleepyscribble #she looks a lil sad bc yk she nearly lost the dude and she starts realizing she liiikes hiiiiiim teehee #she legit doesn't know what she would do if she rlly lost him #but she doesn't think she's in love ofc ofc it's just that yk he's the only person she really feels like she can trust #and the only one she feels really good around and who she feels she could tell anything to #and tbh she hasn't felt this way with anyone else in a long long time even before she became undead and had to deal w the other kindred #but that's normal for a friendship yk this is just a really strong friendship why ruin it with romance right that's stupid #no she wasn't watching him take his shirt off with her eyes almost popping out of her skull the other day shhh that didn't happen #she doesn't even remember he has freckles on his back and a scar on his shoulder. the left one. she doesn't remember she wasn't even lookin #ANYWAY no lust no feelings she's fine don't worry abt it 👍🏻

[royalarchivist]

I love the QSMP. Not only has it introduced me to many amazing international creators, it's also introduced me to the French and Brazilian community, who are so sweet, funny, and chaotic in their own unique ways. I love seeing fans sharing their culture and learning from one another, and I myself have learned a lot this past year. I think it's incredible how QSMP brings so many different people together – all of us united in our love and passion for this project and its goals.

But passion can often evoke strong emotions, and these strong emotions aren't always positive.

The past few months, I have seen multiple waves of hate, bad-faith generalizations of communities, and racist remarks directed at fellow fans – especially those who are part of the French / Brazilian community. This kind of behavior is inexcusable, and is in direct conflict with the mission of QSMP, which is to break language barriers and unite communities.

We are a global community with a variety of people from different backgrounds. Miscommunications may occasionally occur because of cultural differences and/or language barriers, but we should use these moments as opportunities to learn and engage with other people rather than assuming the worst about them and starting fights.

Although certain issues can be resolved with communication, sometimes it’s better to block and move on. Avoid spreading negativity or hate, and save yourself the headache of interacting with people who are just looking for someone to argue with.

No matter what community we're a part of or what languages we speak, we're all here to have fun. Please remember to be kind to each other. We have more in common than we have in conflict.

#QSMP #mod talk #Additionally: we should avoid stereotyping entire communities for reasons I hope are obvious. #I think everything will work out in the end #I don't typically see this kind of stuff on here but I figured I'd post this anyways since I'm posting it to Twitter too #It's understandable that emotions are high because of everything that's happened to the QSMP community the past few months #but it's very sad to see fans attacking each other #everyone's a bit on edge it seems. I rarely use my personal Twitter but I opened it today and saw some close mutuals snapping at people #then after stepping away and calming down coming back to a conversation and apologizing #it's sad to see everyone in this state #So... comments from the peanut gallery I suppose. I do hope this helps someone though #I don't usually post things like this because frankly- #I don't think every single drama / controversy / whatever necessitates a public statement from every single member of the fandom #but I've been thinking a lot about this #Anyhoo. Hopefully I can start sharing clips again tomorrow. I've been moving the past week and life was hellish #hopefully things ease up a bit now

[uncanny-tranny]

Every time you think, "Oh, I don't have [x condition], I'm basically cured!" that is the devil talking. You aren't cured, you are likely going through periods of your symptoms waning. Don't cease whatever you're doing to help yourself, like medication, for instance, because it's likely you still have the conditions or symptoms, even if you aren't noticing them as frequently or severely.

#disability #this is a callout post about myself #i genuinely thought my GAD was cured because my symtoms had lessened significantly since i've transitioned #turns out my anxiety is just as killer and awful - it's just muted slightly #i am currently laying down with my brain convinced that i'm About To Have a Heart Attack #(and not in the fun demi lovato kind of way) #(that song is a little over a decade old... what the bingle) #anyway please don't do what i do whenever i experience ANY level of symptoms getting better because it will shock you... #...when those symptoms come back and remind you that you Do Indeed have [x condition] #i now know how a wolf girl feels when they say they are Actually Feral because that's how i feel rn 💀 #even I'M not immune to the idea that the things i suffer from are things that can Disappear Magically 😭 #it's wishful thinking and almost like... imposter syndrome because you're *so* desperate to prove to yourself you're Fine or A Faker #and you become hyperfixated on picking every tiny little waxing and waning of symptoms like you're a fortune teller #and honestly it's really stiffling and it's a lot of work to kill the cop in your head that says you are secretly Not All That Affected... #...that you're either exaggerating to the Extreme or you're just a bored faker who's trying to Get Attention (bad somehow)

[camellcat]

just recently rewatched the end of time specials, and I can't stop thinking about the way the master caught the doctor only to let him drop anyway. hey guys. what the fuck? I like had a visceral reaction to that and I don't even know why. that's. what. why'd he do that. do it again

#also just got through spyfall and I gotta say #have they always been able to do telepathy like that? #was saxon smashing their foreheads together completely and utterly unnecessary? #did he just... decide to do that? after catching the doctor and then still letting him flop to the ground? #I need. like. a five page analysis on that moment #I need. I need. I #I care less about the forehead smash and more about the catching/dropping thing this is haunting me #that. idk. foreheads was crazy but why does no one talk about the other thing #cause I'm still losing my mind over it #I'm not even sure I've ever talked about these two before without shoving rose tyler in the middle #that's how much that scene has affected me #idk anything about these two I've never cared about thoschei before this but I don't think I can ever come back from this #I think I've finally been sucked in #thoschei #tensimm #tenth doctor #the master #simm master #doctor who

[bloodfin]

quintessence ghouls have their cool healing and body powers, but i think water ghouls also frequently found in the halls of healing.

they have naturally cool temperatures, helping to soothe fevers. water bends to their will, they can clear sinuses with one tap to the forehead. dry eyes, dry mouth, dry skin, burns, all relieved by water's gentle touch.

sure, it's not setting bones and stealing migraines and sensing and preventing harm before it even occurs, but it's healing all the same

i thought too much about this

#as i think about it really all of the elements can work as healers #just so happens it's more common for quintessence and water ghouls #nameless ghouls #the band ghost #*alright this was in my drafts i don't recall writing it blame the covid #*i do think im on to something though #*if anyone wants to send a ghoul to my house to dropkick my sinuses be my guest #*i need to come back to this #*halls of healing lord send them to bleach the sw from my brain too lmao

[sergle]

I think my favorite thing about doing ginger red hair instead of cherry red hair is: lying to people about it

#I love the cherry red / wine red and I'll probably go back at some point bc it's my Origin. #but for now. #I don't actively lie to people but bc it's a Natural and Plausible hair color #and I'm already pale and I dye my eyebrows to match my hair. ppl figure it's natural #and it has come up MULTIPLE TIMES. and I've recently been rolling with it instead of correcting ppl. bc who cares? #recent examples that come to mind (but I did correct them in this one) my surgeon assuming it was natural #and using my genetics as a natural redhead as a baseline to tell me about what I can expect from my future scarring #and then again later with the anesthesia. they were going to dose me differently #the anesthesiologist glanced at me when I came into the OR and was getting the stuff ready on his cart #and when he heard me talking to my doc and re-telling him that oh the hair isn't natural #he was behind the curtain like FUCK #taking shit off his cart and quietly redoing his setup #that's how I learned that redheads need higher doses of anesthesia than other ppl. #they also need more of the topical stuff like lidocaine. apparently they metabolize it faster(?) #ANYWAY he was going to up my dose thinking I needed it lol #so i almost got way more sedatives and pain meds than i needed bc of my hair dye LMAOOO #other more Normal Life examples was a country dude in full hunting gear holding a door open for me someplace #and I said thank you and he lifted his hat up to point at his (natural) red hair and said ''twins!'' #this one sticks with me because that was such a cute thing to do. what the hell #and at snakefest I was talking to some people at their food truck. there was an older guy who trapped me into a convo for like 30mins #he was Very Nice. and they were going to some type of irish festival next and said I should go too bc I'll be right at home #flat out just was like. this bitch looks irish #and I don't know why all of this is so funny to me. it has no reason to be.

[hephaestuscrew]

In Ep55 A Place for Everything, when Minkowski thinks Kepler is doubting the likelihood of Eiffel still being alive after he's floated towards the star in his spacesuit, Minkowski says "Eiffel had plenty of air left, and let's not forget he survived for -" It seems pretty likely that she was about to say that Eiffel survived nearly 200 days stranded in deep space on Lovelace's shuttle. It's interesting to me that Minkowski uses that incident as evidence that Eiffel will survive this time too, because that's not really how situations like that work.

We don't know exactly how much Minkowski knows about Eiffel's time on Lovelace's shuttle, but the reality is that he survived for those 193 days due to an extremely specific combination of impressive ingenuity, incredible perseverance, access to the right resources, a fair dose of stupidity, and an extraordinary amount of sheer luck. Without just one of those ingredients, he would never have made back to the Hephaestus alive. The ingenuity and perseverance could serve him well in this situation too, but the other factors don't exactly apply in the same way.

In my view, it isn't really that Eiffel's survival on that shuttle serves as evidence of any specific attributes that will guarantee his survival this time. I think it's more that the events with Lovelace's shuttle - Minkowski thinking Eiffel was gone forever but then being miraculously reunited with him - have given Minkowski a non-specific sense of Eiffel as a person who survives, a person who ends up in nearly inescapable peril and yet somehow always escapes, a person who makes it back alive against all the odds. It's not a piece of logical practical evidence. It's just an emotional instinct that allows her to believe that she's not going to lose him, allowing her to focus on what she can do to try and find him.

Minkowski's 'Goddamn it Eiffel' when he floats towards the star in Ep53 is so much less dramatic than the way she yells his name as the shuttle drifts away in Ep28. And that's partly about what the story calls for in those moments. And it's partly about the specific situations and the agency Eiffel has had in them. But it's also that in Ep53 she already believes that he will be okay, that he'll come back. He's done it before. He'll do it again.

#Wolf 359 #w359 #renee minkowski #doug eiffel #renée minkowski #And he does come back but when that happens #she can't appreciate that she was right to believe he'd survive #I love that Minkowski thinks she's so logical but sometimes she really isn't #I don't think her belief that Eiffel is a person who survives is ironclad though #Kepler says that there are limits to what the human body can withstand #and Minkowski's mind immediately jumps to the idea that he's saying Eiffel is likely to be dead #She immediately starts arguing against that assumption #I think she's been arguing against it inside her head already #Also there's a contrast between this and other moments #where Minkowski acts like Eiffel is at a higher risk of dying than most people #like that bit in the liveshow where she jokes about the horrifying early death Eiffel is hurtling towards #That was before she heard him hurtle off into the likelihood of a horrifying early death #and before he returned from it #Also I think this idea of Eiffel as a person who survives probably contributed to her trying to send him back to Earth in the finale #She needs to know that one of them makes it out. And he's survived so much. He should be the one who survives #wolf 359 spoilers #w359 spoilers #the empty man posteth #long post #Eiffel & Minkowski

[bonefall]

Is there a cat in cannon who got a good death who you think didn't deserve it? Especially if they committed crimes?

Tom the Wifebeater and his redemption death. No question. It's not even close.

Not only do I reject to the "redemption death" on the grounds of it being Tom the Wifebeater who is bullying others until his dying breath, even taunting Thunder about Turtle Tail is dead and the kits must be very torn up about it, but I reject "redemption through death" entirely. I don't like it in stories. It's a theme I deeply object to.

And again it's fucking wild that every time a character is a father, even if they are a wifebeater or a child abuser, the writers think that it bestows a glimmer of goodness into them which every abused child is forced to appreciate and cry about. Breezepelt, Thunder, Tallstar, Tom's children, all of them forced to reconcile and admit how much they wuv their papa.

Abusive dads in WC regularly get redemption deaths, too. Clear Sky dies saving his grandchild, Sandgorse died saving a rando in a tunnel, Tom the Wifebeater saving his daughter.

But Tom the Wifebeater is the worst example of it. Hands down.

#Though I will say it's not exactly a matter of a crime being 'too bad to come back from' #ANYONE can change. #But these ones DONT. #These fathers are *recontextualized* by their deaths and their victim is pushed into rethinking their anger towards them #IF they even had anger towards them at all. All of Tom's victims were too dead to have those feelings because DOTC hates women #And his children are destroyed when they learn that the guy they met once who kidnapped them and got their mom killed died #And that's why I generally hate redemption deaths. By their very nature they don't display what's so HARD about accountability #The changing of your behavior. Checking yourself. Admitting that your victims dont have to forgive you. #It's hard work! #It's painful sometimes! It's worth it but it's not always easy! #It's also its own reward. Your relationships improve. You feel better. You understand yourself. #but no. a redemption death is the end. You never really have to face what you did. #And I hate the way that lots of storytellers think it means it undoes the violence they did #IT does nothing. They're gone. The victims continue. #Where are my stories with RESENTMENT for that? How DARE you die for me?? How dare you run away from the hole you cut into my flesh??? #You think the end of you becomes the missing piece of me? #Awful. No thankz #Bone babble #Tom the Wifebeater #child abuse #cw child abuse #tw child abuse

[aceghosts]

Rooney Shepard (They/Them): RELIC AU

There are stranger things I've learned on the outside Separated by an open door I find it hard to reach the end of my timeline Salivating 'cause I wanted more Is this the end or is this the beginning? -Too Close/Too Late by Spiritbox

[Template Credit]

Tagging (Opt In/Out): @bbrocklesnar, @marivenah, @alexxmason, @captmactavish, @carlosoliveiraa, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @nightbloodbix, @voidika, @strangefable, @captastra, @amalkavian, @katsigian, @cassietrn, @g0dspeeed, @clicheantagonist, @cloudofbutterflies92, @direwombat, @onehornedbeast, @thedeadthree.

#cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077 #cyberpunk2077edit #cp2077edit #cyberpunk 2077 OC #nbvnesdays #nonbinary oc #commander rooney shepard #I won't let fear compromise who I am #OTP: It always comes right back to you #v: cyberpunk 2077 #myedits #I'm still kind of finetuning the Relic AU in my head #but what I have so far is that even though Rooney didn't participate in the heist and really know about #but V calls them when they are heading to DeShawn after the heist #as V needs Rooney's help and they know (or hope) that Rooney can get them out of this fuck up #Rooney takes the Relic and tells V to lay low with some friends from their days in the military #and in the end Rooney takes the bullet meant for V #Rooney and Yorinobu still reunite the same way they do in Rooney's canon #but there is absolutely the extra layer of 'oh fuck i can't tell him about this' #and in this universe V still works with Goro because I don't think he would let go of Saburo's murder so easily #and I like to think that Rooney thinks of Johnny more as a teammate as time goes on #like even though they butt heads a lot #Rooney still feels responsible for him #and the two start to get along better #but Yorinobu is absolutely the one thing they cannot agree on #anyway #thanks for listening to my fucking unhinged ramblings in the tags #I don't think they make sense #but I can explain it more in an actual post if you want

[platinumgigi]

you know, in light of the Great James Somerton Callout Double Feature™ recently, it made me think back to when i used to watch James' videos. i wasn't an avid fan and never watched his streams or anything so i couldn't have any inkling of the plagiarism on my own, but this all now reminded me of one instance where he made a point of something in one of his videos that was so blatantly wrong, it made me wonder "wait...did you even watch the thing you're talking about?"

and that was with his video on the Owl House, because i believe there was a bit near-ish to the end where he's talking about the open queer representation in TOH, and at the time the video came out the show itself hadn't concluded yet, but he mentioned alongside the not only very canon Lumity as representation the show had to offer, he also mentioned...that the show was hinting at there being a potential romantic relation between Hunter and Gus????

and that had grabbed my attention and made me confused, because...no?? did we watch the same show??? cause if you've watched the Owl House not only would you know that Hunter was 16 and Gus was 12, which is really stretching it in terms of acceptable age gaps, but also...their relationship was not like that, and didn't have any sort of romantic subtext to try and grasp at. the way they hung out and interacted was much more of a "dudes being bros" way (silly headbump handshake, comforting each other in their insecurities and what people saw them as "weak" for), and i'm pretty sure even at the time the episode came out where Gus and Hunter officially became friends, Hunter was already showing signs of crushing on Willow???

so, in retrospect, it now occurs to me that the reason James mentioned that was not because he had simply misinterpreted Gus and Hunter's interactions and the shows intentions for them in the future, but it was deliberately James grasping at straws to shoehorn in some kind of MLM representation into the show where there wasn't any. and while, yeah, in an openly queer show, still not seeing yourself represented kinda sucks, but James Somerton is clearly a person who doesn't value anything in the LGBTQ+ community other than the G. he thinks being a gay man (especially a cis white gay man) is the only real way of being queer, or at least the most "oppressed" type of queer, probably because news media only ever gave significant attention to the deaths of cis white gay men during the AIDS crisis, and that is pretty much James' only point of reference in "historical events that happened to queer people" because god knows he didn't care enough to research and write on his own, let alone research and write about queer history involving queer people who weren't cis white gay men like him.

and it's especially shitty that he that he tries to force this idea of Hunter and Gus having romantic subtext right after he talks about Luz and Amity's relationship. i'm personally not the biggest fan of Lumity within the story of the Owl House, but the representation is really great, especially for something in a disney cartoon. so him trying to then detract all the sapphic representation that Lumity provided and even built the show upon with an MLM relationship that not only is weird in context but also never even happened?? the AUDACITY.

and what gets me even more is that, by the end of the show, while Hunter does end up in a relationship with Willow, it's not a straight relationship. it was confirmed by the show's creator Dana Terrace after it concluded that Hunter is bisexual and Willow is pansexual, and while yeah, real shame that there wasn't any actual expression of those facts during the show's runtime, it's still nice to know that they're queer, and thus their relationship is queer. it's also great to have a canon bi/pan couple when there's STILL an immense infighting problem between bi and pan people thinking that one of the sexualities is trying to erase the other due to their similar (but not same) definitions. so having them not only coexist but also be in love is great!

but you just know, you just KNOW, that even if James' video was made after the show's official conclusion, he would probably either:

A: ignore Hunter and Willow's relationship and try to play on plausible deniability that they're just friends since they never had any great romantic gestures like Lumity's confession and many kisses

or

B: make a shitty argument out of it that the Owl House "could have gone leaps and bounds further with their representation, but Disney was so homophobic that Hunter couldn't possibly get to also be gay, so he had to end up with a woman :("

and while i think both are probably just as possible as each other, my money would be on option B, because god damn it this man can't praise a piece of queer media if it doesn't somewhat center around or involve gay men, and leave it to James Somerton to try and project himself onto the white teenage boy and think that if he were gay, that'd somehow make the story better.

this man actively hates women, especially queer women whom he loves to pretend are actually straight women, and if he had the chance would still do everything he can to try and make a queer relationship between a man and a woman into some woeful narrative of "what could have been" if they just made the man gay.

god, from this singular moment alone where i had a very questionable opinion of James, the knowledge i have now completely recontextualizes everything. this guy is a plagiarist, a misogynist, but most of all, an internalized homophobe who replaces the word "gay" in the content he steals from with "LGBTQ+" and "queer" because he actually *would* just like to use the word gay, but if he did it would make it more obvious that he's plagiarizing, so he instead makes "queer" and "LGBTQ+" be synonymous with gay to make it look like he's actually being inclusive.

and i don't really remember much about his video about Korra, i don't know if i even watched it, so the only frame of reference that i have is what Hbomberguy said about it in his video, and i frankly do not want to go and give James anymore views he has not earned and will never deserve, but i think he did a similar thing in trying to grasp at straws with a potential queer relationship between Mako and some guy who i don't remember (i really didn't watch much of Korra sorry) but that also kind of was not the case of their relationship at all either, from what i've heard. at most it was just people shipping them, especially since the footage James Somerton used in his video was from a fucking ship AMV and not even from any of the high resolution episodes. so again it seems like there's an instance of James trying to shove in an MLM relationship that doesn't exist in a show whose lead representation is a WLW couple.

again i could be wrong, and correct me if i am, but unless there's a convenient re-upload of that entire video on another channel or even another video website, i'm not going to give James' channel any more attention than it unrightfully has.

fuck this guy.

#james somerton #hbomberguy #the owl house #lumity #huntlow #toh #toh hunter #toh gus #i just want to know if anyone else thought that was weird as well when they first saw the video #i don't remember looking at the comments section of that video but i don't think there was anything bringing this up #at least nothing significant enough that i can recall #and this is isn’t even discussing the actual fucking crimes he's committed. this is a silly fandom anecdote #fuck James Somerton all my homies hate James Somerton #if you'll excuse me i'm off to kiss girls and read all the original sources he plagiarized from #platinumgigi comes back from the dead to talk about the owl house again who could have expected this

[liquidstar]

This is such a tangent btw but on the topic of guilt tripping and reblogs... I remember a few years back there were some terrible fires in Greece (and again this year, entire island villages are gone now) and at that time I had family who were caught in them. I can't describe the desperation I felt with these horrible things happening to my family and loved ones in my country. And I remember being frustrated and desperate with how no one around me in America really seemed to give a shit. I remember blogging asking people to PLEASE care please share something please reblog this link for mutual aid please think about the stories and fires etc etc etc. And the thing is I was very much in a state of grief myself, maybe not every word or action was perfectly reasonable, because I don't realistically expect everyone everywhere to care about every tragedy in the world. You can't. Emotionally it's just not possible, especially with all the stuff going on in the states rn too. Yeah it's a lot. It's not like I blog about every tragedy that ever happens either. I understand.

HOWEVER what I also remember was at this time there were a couple mutuals very clearly making vagueposts along the lines of "remember not everyone has the energy to care about everything in the world uwu" while I was posting about family who died and family who were drifting in the ocean for hours as their homes and loved ones burned. Listen. You have to understand sometimes that when a person in grief and frustration with things going on in their countries and communities impacts them very personally beg you to care... It's coming from a place of needing to see that care in the world in general. They're not holding a gun to your head Specifically saying you have to reblog the posts, if you don't have the energy just ignore it.

You don't have to go out of your way saying "um actually I can't care about the horrible stuff you and your family and your country are experiencing rn. I'm too busy focusing on my own stuff so can you be quiet or more reasonable with your grief thanks." Like. Just keep it to yourself then??? Have some fucking sympathy for other people and understand that maybe it's not always logical. The same way you don't have the emotional energy to think about every tragedy in the world, people who've been impacted by them often don't have the emotional energy to handle that alone and may seek somekinda community or solidarity. Idk. It's not about forcing shit on you sometimes it's not about you

#part of me thinks the 'we don't have time to care about everything all the time' has set us back a bit because it gets used as an excuse #bc most of the time no one is like asking you to become a hardcore advocate for every cause ever they're just saying like #hey reblog this donation post. and like I'm going to be real how much possible emotional energy is that really taking from you #compared to the actual activism the statement was meant for and such. like come on #surely less than complaining about people having the gull to ask you to give a shit right? #you can still have sympathy for multiple things without necessarily devoting a lot of your energy to said things you know? #doesn't mean you have to surround yourself with them to become the perfect most progressive activist or whatever #but you can like. idk. express sympathy or condolences in passing every now and then. like people normally do. idk #instead of being like 'how dare you ask me to care! there's issues in my own country i have to blog about!' are you for fucking real #but yeah enough time has passed that i can think more rationally about this and now know that that was a careless response #exactly the type of people you were afraid of being the representatives of the worlds apathy in your greif etc #but there are also people who do care is the thing #and obviously for the record I'm not mutuals w the former anymore bc like Christ

[caeslxys]

also on the topic of meaningful consequences re: character death I don't understand the take that death in fantasy requires physical permanency to matter or give a story "stakes". death is permanent regardless. Do you really think that if they get her back, they'll just go back to normal? That these characters are not forever fundamentally changed from this, that Laudna will not be fundamentally changed from this?

That Imogen's world will be less fractured, that she won't be even more of an anxious wreck now that what she stands to lose has been put into vivid clarity? That Orym won't still carry the guilt of being the chosen, that he will be less haunted by the connections he drew to his own grief with Will to Imogen's with Laudna? That Fearne won't look at Laudna and think of that coin flip, of her choice, and what that means for her and how she loves? That FCG and Ashton won't think to this and be reminded of the people they've hurt or been hurt by, and what this effort and what this grief means for how they view the hells?

That Laudna, who has been so blasé about life and if she's alive and what being alive even means for someone like her, won't wake up surrounded by family and by love and be driven to reexamine everything she's taught herself in 28 years of isolation to cope with the trauma of Whitestone? That this, maybe, will be the driving force she needed to realize that there are things she wants to live for?

It might be that I'm just biased, but I'm not sure what stakes Laudna perma-dying adds aside from just presenting the characters with the knowledge they all already have that they can, in fact, die. that what they're up against is incomprehensibly powerful and dangerous. The stakes already feel so impossibly high when you think of what and who they are preparing to face. frankly the aftermath of this combat alone, even if everything had gone perfect and everyone had gotten back up a-okay, would have set that tone.

I don't know, regardless I'll be happy to watch whatever story they choose to tell unfold as it does, but it strikes me that so many people seem to think that death only matters if there is a physical absence.

#critical role #laudna #bells hells #I do want to specify though that this is my own interpretation of the situation from my view as a writer of the narrative #and my own interpretation of the situation as an audience member #I know death does not care for narration in real life and that dnd can be cathartic for those very reasons #that. to me. is a separate argument from what I'm trying to say here #I also have Thoughts about how. narratively. laudna coming back is the better story for Specifically bells hells and how they operate #individually and as a unit #and how I think a lot of people are blinded by the specific way molly effected the mighty nein #and I just do not think this is the same scenario At All #and also. if I may put out a more biased take. I don't necessarily Want the same impetus and the same story Again #this is bells hells! I want theirs! and they want to bring back laudna #also. like. the whole death only matters if it's permanent thing falls apart immediately bc like. it's laudna #y'know. the undead one. is her story lesser for having lived? is vox machina's? #anyway feel free to ignore this I'm just throwing thoughts out into the wind bc if I keep them in my brain I'll implode #and Twitter has a 140 character limit and I am long-winded