#i don't hate him but he is super annoying

[hannieehaee]

18+ / mdi

content: coworker!jk, sub!jk, afab reader, confession, reader is mean to jk, plot moves super fast to get to the smut lol, smut, handjob, oral (f receiving) penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 2570

a/n: this is loosely based off an audio i heard once but i cant remember where</3 also not 100% proofread

masterlist

"yeah, you should probably ask jungkook for help with that, he's actually really good with those forms. he has the whole process memorized," jungkook heard namjoon say from his desk, though he was unable to spot who he was talking to.

he decided to not question it, continuing his work while mentally preparing himself to help any coworker who might stop by to see him.

however, his work was promptly interrupted when he heard a chair pull back and steps head in the direction of his cubicle, looking up to find you and namjoon standing over him, a smile on joon's face and an annoyed frown on yours.

jungkook knew that frown was reserved specifically for him, as he knew you were quite nice to literally everyone else in the office. he seemed to be the one exception, somehow undeserving of your politeness no matter what he did.

"hey, kook. would you mind helping y/n here with these forms? it should only take you about twenty minutes. i know it's staying a bit later than you usually do, but i have a date and i really have to go if i wanna beat tra-"

"it's fine, joon, don't worry," jungkook interrupted. as much as he didn't want to stay late with you, noticing that everyone else had already left, he also could not find it in himself to say no to joon – or to you, for that matter.

as embarrassing as it was to admit, jungkook had a huge crush on you. sure, you were always mean and short in words with him, but he couldnt help himself. he had come to realize that your personality was sweet and bubbly, despite never showing that side of yourself to him. even if you hated him for some reason, he liked to spend time with you whenever possible, hoping that maybe you'd change your mind about your negative feelings for him.

"okay, great. thank you so much, jungkook," he then turned to you, "i'm leaving you in great hands, i promise," he declared before bidding his goodbyes to the two of you, taking his leave and leaving the two of you alone in the empty office.

turning his chair to look at you, jungkook offered you an awkward smile as he got up, grabbing a few papers from a drawer nearby in order to help you figure out the form you needed assistance with.

you seemed annoyed despite his helpful disposition, but jungkook chose to ignore it, simply walking over to an empty table nearby and gesturing for you to follow him there. he chose not to take a seat, knowing this would probably be quick and also feeling slightly awkward at sharing a table with you for some reason. he'd rather keep his eyes down and on the paperwork.

"okay, uh, what is it that you're confused about?", he finally asked.

"nothing, jungkook. i didn't realize namjoon would drag you into this if i asked him for help. you don't have to act like you want to help me, you can just go home," you said in a deadpan tone.

"'act like i want to help you'? what do you mean?" he cocked his head to the side, "i really don't mind helping you."

"please, jungkook, you look like you'd rather be anywhere but here," you shot at him, completely disregarding the paperwork he'd pulled out.

"that's not true! i'd love to help you. you could've asked me and i would've helped you out with no issue," he argued back, suddenly feeling quite passionate about the subject.

"i don't believe you."

it was hard for jungkook to not grow frustrated at how short and unreasonable you were in your words. how was he even supposed to help you when you clearly despised his presence? all he wanted to do was build some sort of bridge with you. why were you so pleasant with namjoon but willing to pick a fight with him just after mere minutes together?

"what do you want me to say? i want to help you. id help you with anything you ask, but you're always either ignoring me or avoiding me while you're nice to everyone else. i don't understand what i did wrong. did- did i do something to you? do you just not like me?", jungkook finally let out, growing more emotional by the word.

"i don't like it! i don't like how you act with others. you're- you're too nice!", you almost shouted back, inexplicably frustrated.

"i- what? i'm too nice? what does that even mean? i-"

"i don't like that you're nice to everyone else! i hate it! i've seen the way you flirt with the receptionists and hang around the coffee cart with lia. you're so nice to everyone else but can't even speak a word to me. it's so annoying – you're so annoying. you know what, i'm just gonna go. i'll ask joon for help tomorrow morning," you ranted, red in the face and out of breath as you turned around and marched away.

jungkook almost couldn't function after your sudden outburst, but luckily got a hold of his senses before you could walk away, surprising both you and himself when his arm went out to grab onto yours and stop you.

"wait," he breathed out, "it-it's not at all how you think. flirt? i- i don't mean to make it seem that way. i- i've never flirted with anyone at the office. i'm just trying to be nice, and- and i've never meant to make you feel like i'm only not nice to you. you just ... you intimidate me so much," he winced at his own admission, "i'm sorry, i ... you've always been so cold with me, i just assumed you hated me and tried to stay out of your way. i don't hate you. at all. it's not like that at all," he rambled, "i like you. so much. you have no idea, i- wait, wait no, i- fuck."

his eyes widened at his accidental confession, making him stop in his tracks and let go of your arm, far too embarrassed to even make eye contact with you anymore. he couldn't even gauge your reaction to his words before shutting his eyes close and scrunching up his nose in embarrassment, looking down at your feet rather than yourself.

"i- i didn't mean that. no, i did, but, i just- fuck, it wasn't-"

"jungkook, stop," you instructed, stepping towards him decidedly. but jungkook wouldnt budge. he stayed still and avoided your eyes as much as he could, making even a further embarrassment of himself.

suddenly his head was lifted up by a pair of arms that belonged to you, forcing his head to turn in your direction and being pulled towards you, his surprised yelp interrupted halfway as your lips locked with his own.

he moaned in surprise, unable to process what was going on as his lips attempted to follow your own. you led the kiss, licking into his mouth and molding his lips however you so wished. there were no complaints from jungkook, just delighted confusion. he couldn't bring himself to question you when kissing you just felt so damn good.

but his brain caught up to him soon enough, making him pull away with a gasp, "wait, i- does this mean-" but he was interrupted with another wet kiss, "d-do you like me ba-" and another, and another, and another one on top of that.

the two of you made out for a few moments before you finally pulled away from him, this time having him pathetically follow your lips as if in a trance.

"i do, jungkook. i like you. i ... i guess i was just jealous of all the attention you gave everyone else that i didnt realize it might've been my fault," you revealed sheepishly, though your hands were still tightly holding onto his hair.

"fuck, really? you like me back? i- shit," he couldnt help the embarrassingly big grin that took over his face, "can i ... can i kiss you again?", he murmured after calming himself down.

you nodded and leaned in again, immediately sticking your tongue in his mouth and pulling him towards you. after making out for a few short moments, you walked yourself back onto a table nearby, sitting yourself on it as jungkook stayed standing between your legs. wrapping your legs around him, you brought him even closer to you, the kiss getting steamier.

"kookie ..." you breathed out, kissing your way to his ear, "will you be good for me and get on your knees?", you murmured with a sensual lick to his lobe.

shuddering, he nodded, kneeling and allowing you to trap him between your lace-clad legs. his hands were not shy in feeling up your legs, adoring the lace tights adorning your gorgeous legs.

"can i rip them off? need to feel your legs ... fuck, ive thought about kissing up your thighs so many times ... so pretty n soft. please?", he pleaded as his pretty eyes stared up at you.

nodding, you gave him the green light, gasping when he easily ripped them apart and brought you closet to him, pushing up your skirt so he could play with you as he pleased. his lips trailed up and down the plush skin of your thighs, suckling a few love bites onto the skin before dragging his tongue over them as an apology. he dragged his nose along the length of your thighs, seemingly catching scent of your essence as he moaned. soon enough, the pretty spot between your legs drew him in far too much, causing him to dig his face between your thighs snd breathe you in, groaning in ecstasy when your thighs wrapped around his head, trapping him.

"oh, god, please keep doing that," he groaned into you, "wrap your thighs around me ... wanna make you feel so good while you grind on my face ...", those were his last words before pushing your panties to the side and licking into your cunt.

he moaned and cried like a depraved man against you, begging you to grind against him and suffocate him between your legs. his hands pulled you closer by your hips, encouraging the canting of your hips against his face. his nose dug into your clit, nuzzling it while his tongue worked itself into your pussy.

jungkook had you on cloud nine with his pathetic desperation, letting out never-ending pleas into your cunt and somehow still begging for more.

"taste so fucking good, oh fuck- it's so good. prettiest fucking pussy," he cried when your hands dug particularly hard into his hair, pushing him in and allowing him no escape.

"kookie, oh, kookie! i'm almost there, please don't stop, i- i'm right there, baby," you cried out as he sped up his movements, absolutely desperate for your orgasm.

he proudly claimed your orgasm on his tongue, hesitant in pulling away from your cunt as he would've stayed there forever if given the option. but this thought was overthrown the moment you pulled him up by the hair and stuck your tongue in his mouth to taste yourself, once again initiating a series of sensual kisses that had him feeling dizzy.

at some point your hand came out to play with his cock, pulling it out from underneath the dress pants you had seemingly unbuttoned while he was too distracted kissing you. he groaned into your lips as you slowly jerked him, pulling away to kiss his neck and whisper all the dirty things you wanted to do with him.

the mere suggestion of getting to fuck you caught his attention, making him plea at you to stop jerking him so he could bend you over the table and have his way with you.

"are you sure, kookie? don't you want my hand? my tongue?", you tormented him as your hand sped up.

"n-no ... cunt- need your cunt so fucking bad. please, just- just turn around, baby," he begged pathetically, helping you flip over when you finally budged.

he ripped off his shirt snd threw off his shoes and pants while you bent over, wiggling your ass at him to provoke him – which you very much did. you were still wearing a shirt and your skirt, but jungkook would worry about seeing your tits some other day. for now all he cared about was slipping off your pretty skirt snd uncovering your even prettier pussy.

lowering your skirt and panties low enough to reveal your ass, jungkook groaned at the view – so pretty and bent over just for him. the thought of your gorgeous body ready for him to use almost made him short-circuit, he knew he'd burst almost immediately after entering you, but luckily an experimental drag of his fingers against your folds revealed to him that you were also at the brink.

"can't believe i get to fuck you, baby. wanted this since the moment i saw you," he breathed out before beginning to ease into you, "oh ... fuck, shit, it's so warm ... so wet and warm, oh, baby ..." all ability to form a coherent sentence left him after that. his hips quickly took over, slamming into you while you whined his name in the prettiest cries he had ever heard. his eyes rolled back in absolute pleasure, hand uncontrollably digging in place to play with your clit, only causing you to tighten up even more.

"kookie ... you're so fucking big ... fuck, fill me up so good," you swore, pushing your hips back into his own.

"i know, pretty, i know," he managed to breath out just when his orgasm began to approach, "i'm gonna cum, baby, fuck. please tell me you're there too ... need you to cum with me, please?", he pleaded as his hips lost all finesse, now humping wildly into you.

"y-yes! i'm there, fuck- just- just cum with me, kookie, i- fuck!"

your own orgasm was all he needed to finally let go, continuing to fuck into you throughout his orgasm, emptying himself inside you with high put he'd whines of your name. the empty office was filled with nasty noises of skin slapping and senseless cries coming from one another.

once finished, he let himself fall into you a bit, though still not putting his full weight on you. with a wince, he eventually pulled off and groaned at the liquids leaking from his dick. he went to grab a few paper towels from nearby to clean you up a bit before helping you sit up and even sneaking in a peck to your cheek in the process.

"does this mean you like me ...?", he asked regardless of how redundant the question seemed.

"jungkook, you idiot," you chuckled, "yes, i like you."

"thank god," he mumbled under his breath, "i, uh, do you think maybe you'd wanna go home with me tonight? or is that too much too soon? sorry, i'm getting ahead of myself, hah-"

"kook, stop. i'd love to go home with you," you smiled at him, pulling him in for yet another kiss, falling in a makeout session again.

the two of you kissed softly for a while, maybe too softly for what you'd just done together in your workplace. but jungkook didn't think of that at the moment. all that he cared about was taking you home and repeating it all over again.

#bts smut #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts oneshot #jungkook scenario #jungkook imagine #jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfic #jungkook smut #jungkook oneshot

[whorediaries-09]

Hi! if you still taking requests I'd love to make another one about the love of my life, James Potter.

I know it might be super cliche but I was thinking about professor! James forgetting his lunch or maybe reader is a sweetheart who brings lunch to him and everyone at Hogwarts it's obsessed with them because they're sooo cute and they're like their cool school parents

Please and thank u, muak right to youuu.

ugghh this is so cute!! i loved writing this one!! i hope you like it!

labyrinth;

pairing- professor!james potter x professor!reader warning(s)- fluff. (let me know if i should add more) a/n- i literally changed a lot but it's low-key similar?? i'm sorry though i hope you understand, my brain could only come up with this.

little train.

' you would break your back to make me break a smile you know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back '

'good morning students! i hope you've got your models ready for today.' you say, walking into the class. the curtains have been rolled up perfectly by your plethora of eager art students, who chant a good morning, staring at you as your steps fall into the classroom. they know you like to work with the sunlight.

they scramble around their canvases and models, the soles of their shoes rubbing against the newly polished tiles. they look at you with eager faces, waiting for your model to appear. you raise your hands, addressing them.

'okay so this the first class is for realism - which annoys a lot of people over here, i know. but everybody has to pass these few assignments okay? i've to send them for supervision to the higher authorities so that they can ensure i've put on the correct grades according to the quality of the work.'

'because unlike you, they don't care about the creativity,' the political science professor enters the classroom, wearing his dazzling white smile. the students turn their heads, watching him enter the room. among the few students who know both him and you, there's rumbling. and among those who know you, there's questions rising of the cause of the sudden rumbling.

'quieten down kids, no more talking. this is a very important class. you'll learn the basics and the importance of this branch of art. mr. potter,' you look him in the eye. he visibly tones down his raised arms and shoulders, 'i need you to bring me two tools and a canvas.' he nods.

*-

james is sitting directly under the rays of the sun. they are golden, reflecting upon his beautiful dusky brown skin. it hits him in the eye, but he's still, letting you take your sweet time while you explain the theories and the basics of the art.

he likes how patiently you teach them the correct ways and methods while also consoling them by reminding them every other artist has a unique style and shouldn't be bound by some rules. you stay to teaching them the outlines of color theories, which couldn't be modified much when this art style was practiced.

he's also never felt this nervous and giddy. he's usually a very confident man, but within your presence, a few ties of his uptight confidence break, and all hell loses free. he's turns into a puddle right under your piercing gaze, which is unusual for a man like james potter. he would still remember the day you'd asked him to model for you. he'd gone home and giggled into the pillow like a high school high on hormones.

'hi, mr. potter,' you'd whispered behind him. he'd been talking to sirius. he'd been taken aback by your sudden appearance- and sirius' lack of reaction, considering he'd been sitting facing james.

he turned around, and by habit ruffled his already messy hair. he smiled, trying to hide the pleasant shock behind his eyes. he felt his cheeks warming up with the way you looked at him. sliding him a paper cup, you stood, twiddling with your thumbs.

'this is?-'

'chai! masala chai! consider it a bribe for the awkward question i'm about to ask.'

'nothing is awkward james, love. i think you'll be fine.' sirius said. he slipped his fingers within the crook of his jacket that had been hanging on the edge of the chair. he smiled, a mischievous uplift of his lips. 'but just in case,' he said, walking out of the room, leaving you and james alone. james gulped, following his friend's silhouette.

'so...'

'yeah, uhm so i was wondering whether you'd model for me? only if you're comfortable though!' james was sure the red hot blood rush into his cheeks was extremely was visible. he felt his nerves turn mush and stomach flip with giddiness.

'i don't particularly mind it no,' he said. he took the burning cup into his grip, taking a slow sip. he only hoped it wouldn't be too spicy.

'so you're up for it?' you asked. he saw the tension from your back literally lift up, and a glee float in your eyes.

'i am up for it,' he said taking another sip of the tea. 'but you need to tell me why me,' you rubbed the back of your head, laughing nervously.

'uhh... i think you've gorgeously complicated features which would allow me to teach my students with enthusiasm because i teach the best with complicated features. i don't mean it in a harsh way, i also think you're beautiful so...' he nodded letting your words sink into his brain and stop himself from taking you by your neck and press his lips onto yours.

'is it any good? the tea?' you asked, breaking the awkward tension and the lack of his response. you wondered whether you made him uncomfortable with your answer.

'it's perfect. the sweetness and the spiciness.'

it was not.

*-

'okay so carefully outline your vision for the model, and let your brains take over your mind! this has been a boring class i realize but please submit your homework by the deadline so i'll suggest ways for improving your work-'

'-because this is extremely important for your grades students. now the kids over here who are also in my class, i'll deduct grades if you all don't take her words seriously.' james completed for you, cracking his back and rolling his shoulders. the students booed mockingly. one of them, a fiery person too raised her voice,

'you're barely serious in your own classes!' james knitted his eyebrows.

'are you questioning my abilities of teaching?'

'no, i'm not. i'm saying you're not serious in your own lessons sometimes- and you're a pretty much of a goofball yourself.'

'that's fine, i can be a goofball and be a good professor too. ms. grace, please mind your tone, or i'll be obliged to turn into an insufferable old prat.'

'okay come on let's not create an unnecessary drama over here, you have theatres and mr. pettigrew to help with that.' you said, trying to calm down bubbling waters. the students picked up their bags, walking away. yet again, leaving the both of you alone.

james helped you put on your coat. he wondered whether his part was done. he wondered why he cared so much about whether his part was done or not. the question lingered at the tip of his tongue before he spat it out.

'is my work done now?' he asks. you linger, your back faced towards him. he feels a wave of heat from your body crumple over his senses. you turn around, facing him. the remnants of the sun rays surround him, filtering out his outline. there's something in his eyes. a string of vulnerability you've never seen in his eyes. a string of vulnerability he's never felt within his.

'no.' you say. your breath is hot, which falls on his lips. he gulps, noticing how close you are. somehow it feels natural. in your piercing gaze he feels his beating heart stop. it's as if your features are one hell of a drug, reeking him into a spiral of things he's never felt before. your beauty is surreal, captured within his memories and his heart. he wishes he'd capture the way he sees you onto the canvas.

'are you bored of me, james?' you ask. you've never said his name before. it sets his senses on fire, a creeping hotness melting onto his nerves.

'no,' he says. he moves closer, his mouth so close to yours. he wants to touch them, get drunk upon the reminiscent taste he's never tasted before.

'are you sure, james?' you ask, your eyes falling onto his lips. he nods, unable to answer. in your eyes, he sees his portrait in a beauty he's never seen before. his fingers slips into yours, and he feels them.

and he wonders, when your fingers work on the canvas, how you conceive him, how you decipher him. all he's sure of is that he's the most beautiful when you portray him.

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taglist - @reggieisfit @siriuslycaptainofthedawntreader @jamespottergf @eternallybipanicking @fictional-magic @iamgayforyourmom1510

(if you want to be tagged please send a request through my inbox.)

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#q1wjames potter x reader #james potter imagine #james potter smut #james potter fic #james potter fanfiction #marauders #harry potter fanfiction #the marauders #james potter #james #james potter x y/n #marauders era #james potter x you #dead gay wizards #the marauders era

[lygma-nygma]

Knowing the original reason(s) that Dick became Nightwing and then reading comics like Nightwing: Year One is just so annoying. Like what is the deal with more modern rewrites making everything surrounding Dick and Bruce super edgy and angsty when the original version of the story was perfectly fine?? It’s like DC Comics is on a mission to assassinate both of their characters to make Dick into a ‘sad boy’, it’s infuriating.

Original Pre-Crisis Nightwing Lore: Yeah I'm just kind of getting too old to be Robin. Like it or not Robin is forever and always going to be known as Batman's sidekick and I just don't feel like that fits me anymore. I'm the leader of the Teen Titans and I spend most of my time doing that and solo missions now anyway. I think I'm going to drop the mantle, take a step back, and find a new identity. Original Post-Crisis Nightwing Lore: I got shot and fell off a building during a mission and almost died right in front of Bruce. It shook him up and made him super afraid of me dying so he told me he wasn't going to run with a Robin anymore because he didn't want my death to be his fault. I was annoyed about him treating me like a kid and that he was throwing all the years we worked together away over one incident but he said it wasn't like that, he just hoped I was old enough to understand where he was coming from. I told him that there was no way I wasn't going to continue being a hero and he fully supported me saying that he would always be there to help if I needed it. I was still hurt by it all, especially when Jason showed up, but ultimately I came to understand why it happened and got over it. Edgy Retcon Nightwing Lore: I went out of my way to SAVE him and then I got PUNISHED because I didn't do it right and wasn't prioritizing Gotham enough despite my THIRTEEN THOUSAND JOBS but I'm not surprised because he's always been unreasonable and HATES ME so now I'm not Robin anymore because Batman is an awful person and emotionally abuses me. And just to be clear it's not like Dick and Bruce didn't fight before the retcon, frequently being at each other's throats is literally a core aspect of their relationship, but I'm just so tired of them retconning every interaction they have into some overdramatic spat. Way to completely strip Dick of all his agency as a character and turn Bruce into an empty cardboard cut out of himself. Hope the angst points are worth it.

EDIT: I also want to add that fights between Bruce and Dick used to have a lot more nuance than they do now. The B&D fights used to be caused by a breakdown in communication on BOTH sides, not just Bruce's. The 'Jason becoming Robin' fight comes to mind. In Batman #416 neither Dick's complaints nor Bruce's excuses made complete sense but that was the point. Bruce should have been better at reaching out but Dick was also expecting Bruce to be a mind reader and know how he was feeling without telling him. Dick left home without saying goodbye well Bruce was on a mission, Bruce assumed that meant Dick didn't want to see him and so avoided reaching out leading to the two of them not talking for a long time. Dick accepts that Bruce doesn't want him as Robin anymore in stride (he even smiles and shit about it) so Bruce doesn't realize that losing Robin actually hurt him, ex. It's that kind of fighting, the "I want to slam both your heads together" fighting, that I miss so much.

#dick grayson #bruce wayne #batman #nightwing #just me complaining about things again #I blame frank miller for this #Frank miller and Tom king when I GET YOU #For those of you wondering the comics referenced here are #The New Teen Titans (39) #Batman (408) #Nightwing (101) #I can't put number signs in the tags so those are all issue numbers lol

[lynnieos]

WxS ships and where they like to kiss each other (Is there a better way to word this)

Added an under the cut so people don't have to scroll far ,:3

Emunene: The cheek! Emu looooves running up to Nene and smothering her in cheek kisses, and when Nene returns the favor she gets so happy that she tackles nene and gives her like a hundred more kisses lol

Nenerui: The temple! Rui has a habit of hugging Nene from behind and he likes snuggling into her neck and kissing her temple. Nene may pretend shes unaffected but she really likes it when he does it :3

Rui also likes resting his head on Nene's lap (and vice versa but shh) and Nene sometimes tucks his hair behind his ear and place a lil kiss on his temple. She only does it when he's sleeping because the one time she did it awake she almost died from the embarrassment (rui has pretended to be asleep so she could do it hehe)

Emukasa: The crown of the head? Yeah sure the crown of the head. Emu loves running up to her partners and tackling them into a hug and with tsukasa she immediately nuzzles into his chest cause he's so warm and comfy. Tsukasa may be taken aback but he sighs and pulls her closee and kisses the crown of her head and shit okg i hate them/pos. When Emu and tsukasa are hugging tsukasa tends to bury his head into her chest or stomach and Emu will gently run her fingers through his hair and press a kiss there. Sleepy cuddles. I hate them/pos.

Emurui: The forehead! Emu just goes up to Rui and makes grabby hands and rui smiles at her all soft and leans down and gently brushes back her bangs to kiss her forehead hdnhsnsbs. And sometimes Rui picks Emu up to kiss all over her face and ends it off with and extra long kiss to her forehead and Emu gets so giddy and happy she starts squirming and stimming and hugging and then they cuddle and OH MY FUCKING GOD I hate them/pos

Nenekasa: The lips! Mainly because it shuts tsukasa up really quickly/j but sometimes tsukasa is rambling to her about something l(himself, a new role, a play, etc etc) and Nene stares at him and just grabs his face and kisses him right on the lips. Tsukasa never expects it and is super flustered every single time but Nene is already one foot in the grave from the mortification that she really just did that. Why would she do that she needs to crawl into a hole and die-

Untilllll tsukasa gently cups her cheek and pulls her in for another kiss ajsjsjajaj haha what if I exploded this is so embarrassing. I hate them/pos

Ruikasa: The hand! They're both stupid and sappy like that yk? I think ruikasa is pretty big on PDA (they're so annoying/aff) so tsukasa will wax poetic to Rui in front of everyone and place a kiss on his hand and rui will be all flustered and swoony. Rui will do the same and then they start spewing declarations of love and everyone is sick of them in like 2 minutes lmao

Polysho: it does not matter as long as they're kissing. (not in a sexual way btw I feel the need to say that cause the phrasing might sound weird). The cheeks the forehead the lips the hand anywhere. As long as they're close and together they're happy. Everyplace is their favorite place in those moments. Eewwww I hate them/pos

#nene kusanagi #rui kamishiro #tsukasa tenma #emu otori #nenerui #emunene #emurui #emukasa #nenekasa #ruikasa #polysho #project sekai #save me kissing hcs...

[scoliosisgoblin]

Which version of Rick is your fav?

it's so hard for me to choose tbh. HOWEVER, I'd say Evil Rick

then I'd say it's C-137 and Memory Rick

I love how pathetic™ Evil Rick really is tbh. love that he's being controlled by his Morty. can you guess who my favorite Morty is?

#the only reason why Evil is above C-137 and Memory is because #Memory's design is something I don't really like in the style of the show #his fanart makes him look so much cooler but in the show he just looks.. unfinished? #idk it's weird to me. I love him outside of that though #and with C-137. I'M SICK OF HIM LMAO I AM SO SORRY #there are too many fucking episodes dedicated to this man. pushing everyone else aside just to have him yap about his dead wife #I love him so much but there's only so many times we can bring Diane up and not really develop her as a character but rather to boost Rick #and the show is Rick and MORTY yet all I see is Rick 😭😭 don't get me wrong I love this man #I just feel like we know more about Rick than the rest of the family #WHICH IS FINE IF THAT WAS WHAT THEY WERE GOING FOR #and if they wanted to go in that direction so be it! it's fine! #I just feel like he needs less screen time or at least balance episodes among the family #cause even the most recent Morty episode is about Rick. it was so frustrating watching it cause it's literally MORTY'S fear hole experience #yet we're watching Morty's head canons about his grandparents #I also hate the narrative they took with Diane. only ever having Rick talk of her or others bring her up #it just doesn't make her a character but rather an extension off of Rick. that's how I'm feeling rn with the family #they're all just there to prop up Rick or something. super annoying #but that's about it. I'm not gonna continue my rant #unless you want me to? #idk if I even made sense but that's all good #rick and morty #rick and morty fandom #rick #memory rick #evil rick #C-137 #Rick Sanchez

[martyrbat]

so many of you talk about the cruel adults in your childhood that negatively effected you and caused lifelong insecurity yet you're still perfectly fine with being that mean stranger to any kid that has the misfortune of existing around you and thats just really gross !!!

#like i get kids can be overwhelming for a various amount of reasons but its not going to kill you to treat children with basic human decency #adults can be just as overwhelming or annoying—if not more. yet if you talked to an another adult the same way you do to a kid #then ppl would fucking hate you and not want to be around you because youre not being cool and witty—youre just mean!!! #everyone has experienced the frustration of being a kid being mistreated by an adult. some more than others #rather its ignoring your bodily autonomy (from sa and assault to hugging you when you don't want to be touched to not letting you #make your own harmless choices like a haircut or whatever). everyone has been talked down to or had their opinion treated like its nothing #or that their thoughts or input doesn't matter. everyone has a childhood experience with a mean or judgemental adult #yet over and over ppl are fine just repeating that cycle of abuse and hatred #like youre a young adult and youre still getting treated like shit by older ones. but youre able to have a drink or you graduated or smthn #so now you feel like you earned that right to be judgemental & angry & mean to a group of people that didnt fucking do anything to you #anyways. this is because im sick and had to go to the store to get groceries and meds #so its a 20 minute walk to the nearest store in 108 degrees bc i dont have gas money and then in the store im ofc using a face mask #like im sweaty and feel disgusting and like shit but this kid was SO fucking excited about his spiderman toy and wanted to talk and #his mom said ‘i told you no one wants to hear about that crap leave her alone’ and like?? no fuck off let a kid be happy?? hes not fucking #doing anything wrong?? so we talked and he showed me the little tiy that lights up and asked if i saw the new spiderverse movie #and i told him i havent! so he asked why so i explained i have photosensitivity and what that means and why i cant see it #(‘even though i heard its super cool!’) and HE WAS SO SWEET... like immediately hid the toy because oh! flashing lights can hurt me! #and then immediately said dont worry because he'll tell me about it so its like i saw it instead! #and like. guys imma be honest with you. i stilm got no fucking idea what this movie's plot is. #but you bet your fucking ass i was pretending like i was following along & was going ‘no way!’ ‘so it's a parallel universe...?’ ‘oh wow!’ #like yea its unnecessary. i felt oike i was gonna collapse and im still struggling to breathe at home now. but also i been the kid #who just wanted to talk about my interests and no one wanted to or was dismissing it. #i know it's not a end of the world deal but i also know that crushing feeling. you gotta be the kindness you want to see in the world yknow #anyways. be nice to kids or im not going to be nice to you. they're one of the most vulnerable members of our society and deserves kindness

[cptnghoulowl]

I just got Alhaitham by accident. I was pulling for Yaoyao and I got him and I was saving for Nahida and I just

Listen carefully kids. Don't "build pity". Don't pull for a 4* when you're close to pity. I'm AR 60 at this point so like I literally don't care anymore but well, if you want a specific 5* DONT MAKE MY MISTAKES.

(maybe I'm upset enough to finish my angst fic now...)

#genshin impact #genshin al haitham #genshin kaveh #alhaitham #genshin pain #DON'T BE LIKE ME #I BETTER GET KAVEH NOW #im actually super annoyed because now i have to farm plz give me tips I was not ready for thus man #im not even attracted to him i just found him annoying and silly but not fun enough to pull BUT HERE WE ARE #I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH: I JUST WANTED YAOYAO C2 #(sighs in defeat) #(screams in agony) #I SHOULD WRITE A FIC WHERE HES THE BUTT OF THE JOKE OR SOMETHING MAYBE THAT'LL MAKE ME FEEL BETTER #im so sorry Alhaitham stans I mean you no harm #i dont really hate this man he's just not my fav #...i prefer Kaveh (jumps out a window to avoid the pitchforks) #kaveh #should I tag the ship here too? #eh why not #kavehtham #haikaveh

[vilevampire]

someday in this fandom I'll get dragged into drama over controversial ship opinions and when that happens I want you all to remember me fondly because frankly I will drop dead on the spot

#there was a thread on twt like qrt with your opinions on these ships #and I checked some of it and I. so many ppl dislike kalrobin actually. including ppl who follow me?????? #honestly I'm used to my fave ships and stuff having no content like c'mon I'm a viewtiful joe fan I'm super used to it #but seeing ppl hate on my fave ships is kinda heartbreaking actually #especially kalrobin and jazzllocer like ugh ugh ugh those r my otps #and I'm not a fan of the most popular kalego ship outside of the context of kalego x robin x balam #I'm just waiting for the day somebody gets beef w/ me for not liking kalego with balam or jazz with lied or iruma with amelie #or for being annoyed at certain aspects of iruma x azz #literally most popular ship in the fandom. I feel like I could make so many people mad with that one #I'm very niceys though I hate fandom drama I don't want to buy a fight with anybody I just want to make content for my rareships in peace #I am!!!! a little sad!!!!!! kinda bummed even!!!!!! #yk on mairumatwt there's this one guy that's also called lucas and he's also brazilian #but he hates kalrobin and sees jazz and allocer as brothers. I've never interacted w/ him but I think he's my evil doppelganger #actually I'm the evil one. like hello guy litcherally named vile over here #anw. kind of a little very sad I think this is the first time I've seen so many ppl hate something that makes me really happy. #and I have no idea why some of them follow me it just confuses me hddgijdgd #lucasings

[kdranime]

.

#ok so my thoughts about the last single's inferno ep #this is my opinion and I'll be very honest leave me alone #poor minkyu deserved better than gyuri that bitch is crazy #I think she just chose him as a last resort and cause she didn't want to end up alone.. she actually liked minwoo but he hurt her big ego #sieun and minwoo were kind of cute also kind of cringe but I caught myself smiling while watching them lmao #also sieun really hated wonik damn and I don't judge her guy can't take a hint and was being kind of annoying #now gwanhee and hyeseon... I really REALLY can't see or sense a connection between them and they were just soooooo boring to me SUPER BORIN #as much as I hated gwanhee most of the time I still wanted him to pick hajeong (I had hopes until last second) for the plot #and bc she liked him and my queen deserved to find love but oh well she's too good for him anyway #they were the only couple that was actually fun to watch and interesting and shared a visible connection TO ME #everybody liked gh and hs but I was so skeptical of their thing that I actually thought he was gonna choose minji #I never agree with the majority damn #single's inferno

[beholdthemem]

I remember as a kid, Gingivere having genuine concern and affection towards Verdauga- which did actually seem to be somewhat returned? In our first introduction to him, he reprimands Tsarmina for snapping at her brother, before gently-but-firmly reprimanding Gingivere for not fighting his own battles- was my first exposure to the idea that someone could be both a loving parent, yet a bad person.

I was so used to the bad guys I found in fiction being like. Either Ozai level abusive parents, to sort of cement that 'They're so callous that they don't treat their own children any better than the other people they hurt!'- or bad guys that SEEMED really awful until we saw that they loved their kids to indicate 'See, they aren't so bad, there's some good in them after all!'

And then there was Verdauga.

Verdauga was not a good guy. Before we actually meet him, we see what his rule over the country has done to the people there. Poverty abounds. There's little to no food for the citizens living near Kotir, and we know that's not because there was never any to begin with- no matter how many mouths you have to feed, whatever you can harvest is to go to the castle. Anybody who objects is either killed or imprisoned. When we meet Ben and Goody, they're trying to decide whether or not to risk freezing to death trying to escape- what ends up being the deciding factor is that their young children will have to start working in the fields at Kotir if they don't. That's how life IS under the wildcats.

And then we meet Verdauga- old, ill, nearing the end of his life but no less violent for it- and watch how he interacts with his children. He doesn't insult them. He doesn't demean them. He treats them... with a certain amount of respect. He's in charge, but doesn't rub that in their faces unnecessarily, only exerting authority to make a point. He's not overtly sentimental, but we can see that to a certain extent he cares about them.

That was a new concept, and I still remember being fascinated by the implications.

#redwall #like for gingivere to be that torn up when verduaga dies the old man had to have put some effort into the fatherhood thing #idk what his relationship with tsarmina was like- like she had no problem helping him into the grave but at the same time- #i don't think she HATED him? she saw him as an obstacle to power definitely but it didn't seem... personal exactly. #she seemed to find him more annoying than anything else. and... verduaga knew that i think and didn't particularly resent her #for it. like if he'd known for certain it was her that was getting him killed he'd be angry/violent- but i think #in the same way he would if it were anyone else. it wouldn't be a super personal betrayal. i think he and tsarmina are just. #built the same way. and he recognizes that. they think in the same patterns and have similar emotional attachments/lack thereof. he wouldn' #be emotionally betrayed by what tsarmina did to him because in her shoes he'd have done the same. it's just logical. #but gingivere... y'know what i think maybe he wasn't expecting gingivere to be the way he is. and when his son- despite attempts #to teach him otherwise- turned out to be gentle verduaga wasn't sure what to do with that. he understands tsarmina. #tsarmina's like him just 2 degrees more ruthless. gingivere... verduaga had no clue how to understand gingivere. he doesn't have the #ruthlessness gene. and rather than exploit that because gingivere was HIS he tried to protect him and maybe hoped he'd grow out of it #because in his experience gentleness is not a GOOD thing. it's something that can be crushed. he doesn't want to do that to gingivere but h #also knows he won't be around forever and that other people absolutely will- especially tsarmina. because gingivere is NOT tsarmina's son #and therefore she has no reason not to do The Logical Thing. 'stand up for yourself im not going to be here much longer and i need to know #that when im not you have some chance of survival'. he loves gingivere because he doesn't understand him at all and he can't HELP loving hi #for that.

[57sfinest]

what do you think the best case scenario is for jean and harry's relationship post-martinaise?

okay so not to be Like That but i do have one fic up about this with another one currently in the works

but anyway. obviously their relationship is never going to go back to the way it was. there was just SO MUCH between them that they have no hope of restoring with harry's amnesia, and also jean knows rationally that things shouldn't ever be the way they were again. it's not like they were ever supposed to be that way anyway.

in the best-case, i think it takes MONTHS for them to even start to bridge the gap, and harry has to initiate it. jean is done being the one reaching out, being the fixer, overlooking things. IF harry wants him back, as a friend or anything else- and secretly jean wants him to want him back, but he'll never admit that- he has to take the first steps and do the work. so first harry has to put in the work to recover (if harry kept using drugs, i don't think jean would care, but he'd have to kick the alcohol) and then harry has to put in the personal work and learn how to communicate properly and respect boundaries. even when he starts trying i think jean pushes back for a while and harry has to take his turn being the bigger person and let jean complain or shut him down or whatever and not bitch about it or start a fight, because that will just push jean away more.

best-case is that harry passes these little trials of jean's, and they finally sit down and have an actual conversation about everything and clear the air. i don't think it's a pretty conversation, but they (jean mostly) says a lot of things that have needed to be said for a long time. assuming this goes to jean's satisfaction i think they agree- harry gets ONE more chance to stay on jean's good side.

buffered by the few months of jean REALLY hating harry and resenting him and being jealous of his second chance and all that, i think a friendship between them has a better chance to be healthy at this point. harry is ostensibly working on his shitty habits and behaviors, and now harry probably has kim (and possibly others) to talk to, which takes a lot of the burden off jean, because imo one of the biggest issues harry and jean had was a lack of distance. they just couldn't get away from each other, and ended up not wanting to. so now they have an opportunity to keep a healthy buffer and *choose* to engage, which also allows them to step away from one another if things get heated. yes, they'll definitely still clash sometimes, but it's a lot easier to deal with when they can just agree to leave the argument there and not speak until they've gotten over themselves.

the best-case requires harry to do a lot of personal work but assuming he does do it, i do think he and jean could go back to being friends. their new relationship would definitely start off very rocky and tentative- mostly harry is afraid to ruin it again- but given enough time i think harry proves it's for real this time and they can come to actually trust each other and be comfortable around one another.

#there's a lot of capacity for hurt in that first year or so of their new attempt at friendship #no matter what jean just can't get the old harry out of his head #like harry has some kind of crisis and jean's instinct is still 'he's doing this for attention :/' #jean is still in this mindset of 'fuck harry he hurt me so i can hurt him back' and it takes a lot to get him out of it #he's not super comfortable being a shoulder for harry to cry on for a while because he's just holding his breath #waiting for the other shoe to drop. for months he doesn't believe harry is capable of getting better #and he's justified given harry's old attitude but like. post-amnesia harry is a different person #and he can't come to terms with that right away #once harrys earned trust back though theyre menaces. #harry holding jean in the most annoying bear hug on earth like #'hi everyone this is my beeest friend jean he loves me soooooooo much he'd never say anything mean to me' #jean pinches harry as hard as he possibly can like 'let go of me i fucking hate you. fucking moron' #then they go get dinner #thats a minor hc of mine. in their repaired friendship jean stays playfully aggressive towards harry a lot #but harry feels he needs to be a little more careful so doesn't do that much. although he does taunt jean a lot regardless #kiwipost #ACTIVATING MY MENTAL ILLNESS!!! #harry: this is my bestie jean. i made him a friendship bracelet but threw it in the trash #jean: this is my rescue dog harry. i don't kick him as much these days even though i really want to #(they are best friends. jean won't say so) #jean vicquemare #harry du bois #ask #jv meta #hdb meta

[todayisafridaynight]

Is there a character that’s like a Vegeta to you as in there’s so many interesting characters, but fans love this douche so we got to make him the center focus now!

there's like. legally only one answer to this question but i feel ???? saying it

#snap chats #spoilers it's majima BUT LIKE HERE'S THE THING #I DON'T LIKE. I DON'T /NOT/ LIKE MAJIMA LIKE I GET WHY PEOPLE LOVE HIM #i certainly loved him in 0 and majima everywhere was really fun in YK1 #and im not gonna act like i didnt speed through YK2 jus to get to Y3 so i could get context for the truck scene #like majima's popularity makes sense to me 1000% but like If I Squint #just in terms of popularity he is vaguely the vegeta of rgg? but not at the exact same time ? #and i say Legally because there is lit only one character this fandom talks excessively about #and thats not bad its NOT im just saying trying to say kiryu gets the same treatment. Laughable #difference by a LIGHT YEAR my dude like yes theyre the series' most popular characters but majima's in a league of his own #cause like majima actually has qualities to his character that are enjoyable and interesting #like i might not rave about him a lot or pay any attention to him until he's mentioned but like #like do you see what i mean when i said I Feel Weird because i cant even describe how i feel #like in terms of 'fandom sure loves talking about this character' then yeah majima for sure #tbh i dont even hate vegeta either ???? i mean he annoys me in super at this point-- #i think thats the difference because majima In The Series never annoys me #i dont get date levels of Oh Thats My Old Friend :) when you run into him in the games but i mean #its vaguely there like Oh Its Majima Hey. like hes never done anything in canon that makes me tired LMAO #VEGETA MAKES ME TIRED THAT'S THE DISTINCTION #i wouldnt even say the series shines a phat spotlight on majima either- like pardon Y0 obvi #the series was really tame in using him and even threw his character around a bit #i dont know where im going with this answer jesus christ i need to sleep #i can already feel the midnight demons clawing at my brain telling me awful things about myself #good night everyone if i get another ask at some point i promise the answer'll be less confusing

[baltears]

ok. didn't like c/rse of the white knight however i am still obsessed with sgms jarley vision

#harley being the joker's biggest enemy bc she saw parts of him that he hated and tried to hide so he was ready to just kill her. iconic #if im being honest i don't super love j's bifurcation into two separate characters bc i find that trope very boring #(would much rather have 1 extremely messy person who is on substances and/or mentally ill) #but hey listen respect for actually killing him off. i don't want to read anymore bc of that but i respect it! #btw hot take but the reason joker immunity exists is because the joker is fun. the story is less fun without him there #which is why most writers are very very reluctant to kill him off. they like writing him. he is fun. #like i Guess if he is gonna get killed off this was an ok way to do it but i found it a little annoying how like. he had no arc #Jack had an arc... kind of... i guess but he was very out of focus in curse vs the first white knight #ANYway. i love knowing nothing about comics and organically reacting to things without having to care what other ppl think :) #fight starting portion of dc fandom come get this ass #dc

[kaijutegu]

Alligator Body Language and You, or: How To Know When An Alligator On Social Media is Being Stressed for Views

Alligators are wild animals. Despite the idiotic claims of animal abusers like Jay Brewer, they cannot be domesticated, which means they are always going to react on the same natural instincts they've had for millions of years. Habituated, yes. Tamed, yes. Trained, definitely. Crocodilians can form bonds with people- they're social and quite intelligent. They can solve problems, use tools, and they're actually quite playful. Alligators are also really good at communicating how they're feeling, but to somebody who doesn't spend much time around them, their body language can be a bit mystifying. And it doesn't help when social media influencers are saying shit like this:

That is not what a happy gator looks like.

That's a terrified, furious gator who isn't attacking because the ogre handling her has her in a chokehold. She's doing everything she can to express her displeasure, and he's lying about it because he knows his audience doesn't even know how to think critically about what he's doing. He knows that because his audience doesn't know anything about these animals, he can get away with it. This I think is why I hate him so much- he deliberately miseducates his audience. He knows what he's doing is factually inaccurate, he just doesn't care because attention means more to him than anything else in the world.

Let's change that! Here are two really important lessons for understanding alligator body language on social media.

Lesson 1: Alligators Don't Smile (in fact, most animals don't)

So what's going on in this video? Jay Brewer is aggressively choking his white alligator Coconut while scrubbing algae off of her with a toothbrush. And make no mistake, he is digging into the creature's throat while she is visibly distressed. He claims she's happy- but she's not. He is willfully misrepresenting what this animal is feeling. That's a problem, because people... well, we actually kind of suck at reading other species' body language. The reason for this is that we tend to overlay our own responses on their physical cues, and that's a problem. For example, let's look at an animal with a really similar face to ours, the chimpanzee. Check out Ama's toothy grin!

Wait, no. That's not a happy smile. That's a threat display. When a chimpanzee "smiles," it's either terrified and doing a fear grimace, or it's showing you its teeth because it intends on using them in your face.

How about a dog? Look at my smiling, happy puppy!

Oh wait no, this is a picture of Ryder when he was super overwhelmed by noise and people during a holiday party. He'd hopped up in my sister's lap to get away from stuff that was happening on the floor and was panting quite heavily. See the tension in the corners of his mouth and his eyes? A lot of the time when a dog "smiles," the smile isn't happy. It's stress! Why Animals Do The Thing has a nice writeup about that, but the point is, our body language is not the same as other species. And for reptiles, body language is wildly different.

For instance, look at these two alligators. Pretty cute, right? Look at 'em, they're posing for a Christmas card or something! How do you think they're feeling?

Well, I'll tell you how the normal one is feeling. He's annoyed! Why is he annoyed? Because the albino just rolled up, pushed another gator off the platform, and is trying to push this guy, too. I know this because I actually saw it happen. It was pretty funny, not gonna lie. He's not gaping all the way, but he was hissing- you can actually see him getting annoyed in the sequence I took right before this shot. Look at him in this first shot here- he's just relaxing, and you can see he isn't gaping even a little bit.

By the end, he's expressing displeasure, but not enough to actually do anything about it. He's annoyed, but he's comfy and that's where one of the best basking areas is, so he'll put up with it.

Reptiles open their mouths wide for a lot of reasons, but never because they are actively enjoying a sensation. Unless they're eating. No reptile smiles- they can't. They don't even have moveable lips. If a reptile is gaping, it's doing so because:

It is doing a threat display.

It is making certain vocalizations, all of which are threats. Alligators are one of the rare reptiles that do regularly vocalize, but most of their calls aren't made with a wide open mouth.

It is about to bite something delicious or somebody stupid. Check out this video- virtually all of the gaping here is anticipatory because these trained gators know darn well that the bowl is full of delicious snacks. (I have some issues with Florida's Wildest, but the man knows how to train a gator AND he is honest about explaining what they're doing and why, and all of his animals are healthy and well-cared for, and he doesn't put the public or his staff at risk- just himself.)

It's too hot and it has opened its mouth to vent some of that heat and thermoregulate. This is the main reason why alligators will often have their mouths part of the way open, but sometimes they'll open all the way for thermoregulation. This is what a thermoregulatory gape looks like- usually it's not all the way open, kinda more like < rather than V, but you can't say that 100% of the time. Additionally, a thermoregulatory gape... typically happens when it's hot out. If they're inside, maybe they've been under their basking light for too long. Heat's the dominant factor, is what I'm getting at.

There is another reason that a captive crocodilian might be gaping, and that's because it's doing so on command. Some places have their gators trained to gape on cue, like St. Augustine Alligator Farm and other good zoos. They have the animals do this in presentations that are genuinely educational. They ask the animals to open their mouths so that they can show off their teeth and demonstrate how their tongues seal off the back of their mouth. They'll also do it as part of routine healthcare, because looking at their teeth is important.

In this case, the animals aren't gaping because they're stressed, they're gaping because they know they're gonna get a piece of chicken or fish if they do it. And what's more, they're doing it on cue. They have a specific command or signal that tells them to open wide. It's not an instinctive response to a situation. It's trained. If the animal provides the behavior after a cue, the situation is much less likely to be negatively impactful.

It's also important to remember that there's a difference between a partially open mouth and a gape! As discussed above, alligators will often have their mouths a little bit open just to maintain temperature homeostasis. It helps them stay comfy, temperature-wise. These guys are all doing thermoregulatory open-mouthed behavior- that slight open and relaxed body posture is a dead giveaway. (That and it's the hottest spot in the enclosure.)

Lesson 2: A Happy Gator Is A Chill Gator

So if alligators don't smile or have facial expressions other than the :V that typically signifies distress, how else can you tell how they're feeling? One way is stillness. See, alligators subscribe to the philosophy of if it sucks... hit da bricks.

Basically, if they hate it, they'll leave. Unless, y'know, somebody has their meaty claws digging into their throat or is otherwise restraining them. (Restraint isn't always bad, btw. Sometimes the animal is going through a medical thing or needs to be restrained for their safety- which a responsible educator will explain.)

Let's look at a very similar scenario, in which a captive alligator is getting his back scrubbed.

As you can see, it's quite different. First, he's not being restrained at all. Second, look at how relaxed he is! He's just chilling there vibing! He could simply get up and leave if he wanted to, because he's not being held. Towards the end of the video, as he lifts his head, you can see that his respiratory rate is very even as his throat flutters a bit. I'm not sure what this facility is, so I can't comment on care/general ethics, but like. In this specific case, this is an alligator enjoying being scrubbed! And you can tell because he's not doing anything. A happy gator is content to be doing what they're doing.

Why Should I Listen To You?

Now, you should ask yourself, why should you listen to me? Why should you trust me, who does not own an alligator, versus Jay Brewer, who owns several?

Well, first off, there's no profit for me in telling you that what you're seeing on social media is in fact not what you're being told you're seeing. I'm not getting paid to do this. That's the thing with people who make social media content. The big names aren't doing it just for fun. They're doing it for money. Whether that's profit through partnerships or sponsorships, or getting more people to visit their facilities, or ad revenue, you can't ignore the factor of money. And this is NOT a bad thing, because it allows educators to do what they're passionate about! People deserve to be paid for the work that they do!

But the problem starts when you chase the algorithm instead of actually educating. A "smiling" alligator gets the views, and if people don't know enough to know better, it keeps getting the views. People love unconventional animal stories and they want those animals to be happy- but the inability to even know where to start with critically evaluating these posts really hinders the ability to spread real information. Like, this post will probably get a couple hundred notes, but that video of Coconut being scrubbed had almost 400,000 likes when I took that screenshot. Think about how many eyeballs that's reached by now. What I'm saying here is that it's just... really important to think critically about who you're getting your information from. What do dissenters say in the comments? What do other professionals say? You won't find a single herpetologist that has anything good to say about Prehistoric Pets, I can tell you that right now.

Another reason you can trust me is that my sources are not "just trust me bro," or "years of experience pretending my pet shop where animals come to die is a real zoo." Instead, here are my primary sources for my information on alligator behavior:

Dragon Songs: Love and Adventure among Crocodiles, Alligators, and Other Dinosaur Relations- Vladimir Dinets

The Secret Social Lives of Reptiles- J. Sean Doody, Vladimir Dinets, Gordon M. Burghardt

Social Behavior Deficiencies in Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Z Walsh, H Olson, M Clendening, A Rycyk

Social Displays of the American Alligator (Alligator mississippiensis)- Kent Vliet

Social Signals and Behaviors of Adult Alligators and Crocodiles- Leslie Garrick, Jeffery Lang

Never smile at a crocodile: Gaping behaviour in the Nile crocodile at Ndumo Game Reserve, South Africa- Cormac Price, Mohamed Ezat, Céline Hanzen, Colleen Downs (this one's Nile crocs, not American alligators, but it's really useful for modeling an understanding of gape behaviors and proximity)

Thermoregulatory Behavior of Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Cheryl S. Asa, Gary D. London, Ronald R. Goellner, Norman Haskell, Glenn Roberts, Crispen Wilson

Unprovoked Mouth Gaping Behavior in Extant Crocodylia- Noah J. Carl, Heather A. Stewart, Jenny S. Paul

Thank you for reading! Here's a very happy wild alligator from Sanibel for your trouble.

#reptiblr #alligator #crocodile #Youtube

[starburstgalexies]

Fun fact I don't actually hate Teruteru? Sure I don't love him either, he is a pervert, but I feel like he is an alternate, more extreme version of Kazuichi and he too could get redeemed if he had time.

#he's like an anime b.arney s.tinson to me #i dont think i hate anyone in dr2 but n.agito? and even for him it's. you gave me good reasons to be annoyed by him. great show don't tell #the thing about dr is that everyone looks like a certain cardboard type and you get to know them and turns out they arent so #ales of alex #super duper dangan

[uglyducklingofthe2000s]

Puncture - LN

Sidenote: I think I just write about crashes when I'm sad bc...they're really sad irl and it's easy to write about something that is already a sad event. HOWEVER, following this up, I do have another Lando fic which is kind of more endearingly sad and sweet.

Summary: A midrace red flag is always cause for concern. But when Lando finds out who's behind the red flag and they won't show footage because they don't know she's ok, he won't get back in the car till he gets answers

Themes/warning: Race crash, injuries from crash (think Alonso Australia 2016-ish)

Aston Martin driver!reader x Lando

Some might frown upon drivers dating, but Lando and y/n's relationship spans longer than their time in F1 and neither have any intention of ending the relationship because of their differing teams.

But when they are divided by their teams and different stuff they need to do as part of being drivers. The two are adorably inseparable and while they both have their haters, they also have people who are just obsessed with them.

"Baby...wakey wakey." Lando whispers hovering over his girlfriend who groans immediately shoving her head under the pillow much to Lando's amusement.

If there's one thing y/n hates. It's being woken up. He's really not sure how she's going to handle Vegas. Especially if it's a repeat of last year where the whole weekend is a bit of a mess. Though Australia is still not a very fun time zone jump.

"Come on." Lando laughs then taking another method as he drops his weight down on y/n earning a grunt from the young woman. Though he's quickly repaid with a pillow being hit into his face which only makes him laugh harder.

"Get off of me, you lump." Y/n groans making him hum for a moment.

"Are you going to get up?"

"Yes! Yes. I'm getting up...Most annoying alarm clock ever." Y/n mumbles jokingly as he finally gets up from on top of her.

"Race day baby. Got to be on your game." Lando grins earning a hum and grumble. "How about a quick shower together and then...we get moving?"

"You should've offered that before you dropped your full weight on me." Y/n smiles then linking her hand with Lando's to pull him into the bathroom.

-

"Hey, there's our favourite couple. How are you guys feeling?" Laura asks, catching the two after the drivers parade.

"Lando asked me to crash into Max. So mean. I'd never crash into my future husband like that." Y/n grins sticking out her tongue when Lando raises both hands, one giving her the middle finger while the other blocks the gesture from the camera. "Don't be jealous, baby."

Lando doesn't even hesitate to bail on the interview, dragging y/n with him but the very much cheeky grin on his face speaks loudly of the fact he's not actually mad.

"Bye!" Y/n laughs handing the mic to an assistant.

The two actually part with a kiss that is of course captured by more than one camera.

Y/n walks further down the pit lane to the Aston Martin garage while Lando heads into the McLaren.

They stand with Yuki between them for the anthem, but it doesn't stop Lando reaching around Yuki as soon as he can to get his ritual "good luck" kiss from her before the race.

"I'll see you on the podium." Lando smiles earning a grin.

He's starting P4 while she's P7.

"Alright, super star. Let's go." Her trainer, James smiles as y/n moves to get her balaclava and helmet on before climbing in the car.

"Hope you fried his head with that kiss." The mechanic jokes as they strap her in.

"I try, but he's a hard man to knock the focus of." Y/n laughs as they plug her in and make sure her drink is connected properly. "Don't worry, my focus is harder to shake."

"What we like to hear." He chuckles patting her helmet before they place her steering wheel in.

Y/n radio checks and before she knows it she's on her own. Those few beats before the formation lap then they're off, not racing yet though strategy is already at play. They love playing the game of going slow to force Max to wait as long as they can force him to out on the grid while the rest line up.

By the time they've all lined up, Max has been there for nearly a minutes but they're there and watching for the red lights to light up one by one and then...they go out and they're off.

By some miracle everyone makes it through the first lap, and keep going through the race.

The field get some spread and y/n finds herself in a battle with Pierre for P5.

"Patience." Her race enginee, Vinnie states into her ear, sensing her aggravation from the fact she's stuck behind the French driver. "You'll get him, just be patient."

Irritation prickles her skin and as she passes over the line again, she decides she's had enough. Trying for a move in turn 3, a move that goes horribly wrong when she dives down the side and Pierre tries to defend too late.

"Y/n-"

Vinnie's voice is cut off when she finds herself airborne, flying up as her front wheel catches over Pierre's rear on the corner, sending her in the air, the car flipping with the nose digging into he gravel somehow not slowing her like it should before it continues to flipping and spinning.

Y/n wants to speak when the car stops but a burning sharpness has spread through her chest.

"Y/n? Y/n, are you ok?" Vinnie questions but her gasping for breath and the shakiness of her hand from her body fighting the pain. "Y/n, please confirm you're ok."

She manages to press the button not even gasping for air because she can't find a way to get more air in her.

"N-" Y/n tries taking a shallow breath against the instinct to gather as much air as possible. "No."

"Helps on the way. They're coming, just don't move. Don't try and get out right now. The car is safe there's no fire."

"Hurts." Y/n wheezes feeling the pain getting worse and the world starting to feel dark.

"Just stay with me. They're there, they're going to get you out. Ok? Stay awake and try to just breath a little."

Meanwhile the red flag has been called for.

"Is everyone ok?" Lando asks as he slows to his delta.

"Y/n and Pierre off in turn 3. It was a big one. I'll tell you more when you're back."

"Is she ok?" Lando questions much more aggressively. "Will, is she ok?"

"I'll get back to you. It's unclear."

Lando curses hitting the steering wheel as he it comes into the pit lane and he's not even stopped the car before he's undone his seatbelt and as soon as it's to a halt the mechanics haven't reached him before he's climbing out and jogging to the garage to see Will.

"What's happened?" Lando questions making Will and Jose look at each other.

"They won't replay, the crash cut her camera. We don't have radio access...But they're not sharing that she confirmed she's ok on radio." Will explains earning a look from the driver. "We think she's ok, they're getting her out the car from what we know."

"Fuck sake." Lando grumbles marching off heading towards the Aston Martin pit wall where Vinnie looks stressed. "What is going on?"

Vinnie looks at the driver with an expression that suggests he doesn't have time for him right now but he's also not going to deny him the little informations he does have.

"Y/n was responsive but she lost consciousness before the medical delegate got her out the car. She wasn't breathing properly on the radio. I don't know what else is happening it's down the the medical team. Go back to McLaren, please." Vinnie stresses making it clear he's not got anything else that will settle Lando.

"I want to know as soon as there's an update." Lando declares knowing he's not being fair, they have to prioritise taking care of y/n and making sure whatever they need to do for her benefit is happening.

He moves back to the garage just as the helicopter flies over the top of them heading in the direction of turn 3.

Suddenly a ton of bricks hits him as he realises what Vinnie said.

Unconscious and not breathing properly while she was conscious. All before they could even get her out the car.

Lando bumps into a mechanic stumbling a little before Jon appears catching him.

"What's happened? What's going on?"

"They don't know she...she wasn't breathing properly and she passed out before they got her out the car." Lando states as Jon helps to guide him over to sit down. "And they've got the helicopter landing on track."

"It'll be alright mate. She'll be ok."

"I'm not getting back in that car until I know she is."

Jon looks at Lando for a few beats before sighing.

The red flag lasts for nearly half an hour and Lando paces continuing to bother and question Will as much as possible. But eventually Vinnie appears looking at him.

"Y/n is in hospital...she broke her ribs and they punctured her lungs from the impact. Maybe one lung, it's hard to say. But she's alive...Now can you get in the damn car so I can stop getting messages asking if she's ok and whether they can shut you up and get you in the car?" Vinnie questions making Lando deflate a little. "Look, I can't tell you information I don't have and trust me I wish I have more."

It wasn't exactly Vinnie's favourite thing that he had to be on the radio hearing her say no she wasn't ok and that it hurt before she went silent. But that's not something he needs to inform Lando of.

"Get a podium for her to have something good to come back to." Vinnie states patting his shoulder. "I have to go."

Lando, Jon and Will all watch Vinnie take off into the Aston Martin garage before Jon looks at her.

"You ready to get back in the car? Because we've been given a time."

"Yeah...Ok."

-

With there still being little knowledge of y/n's condition. There isn't much celebrations on the podium, which Lando got P3 behind the Ferraris. Then he got off the podium and went to media almost eager to suddenly distract himself from possibly getting news about her.

"You don't have to debrief." Andrea states as Lando sits down.

"We always debrief." Lando shrugs making people around the room exchange expressions but they don't comment.

Although it doesn't last long when Lando's phone goes and y/n's name is on the screen making him bolt without a word.

"Y/n?" Lando chokes out answering the call.

"She's fine, she's awake but she's in the ICU. She wants to talk, but she can't get many words out. So just listen to her ok." James states making Lando hum, struggling to properly respond in fear of having a voice break. He hears the phone shifting around before James speaks up. "Ok, he's listening."

"Hi, baby." Y/n whispers then letting out some heavy breaths as if she's struggling to get air in. "I'm ok. I'm so proud of you."

"I'm coming to see you." Lando states making her look at him for a moment. "I'm coming to see you now."

"I-James?" Y/n mumbles making her trainer pick up the phone.

"Hey mate, she's pretty heavily drugged for the pain. What are you asking?" James questions making Lando withhold the need to grumble since he should be the one there with her.

"I want to come see her."

"Oh-Oh right ok. Yeah, so she's only allowed one visitor at the time, but if you let me know when you're here, I'll head out. Probably be best to grab some stuff from the hotel room for her but I don't want to leave her on her own to do it." James explains making him mumble a thanks.

-

By the the time Lando gets through the hallways and to y/n's room, doctors are checking in on her and James meets him outside the room.

"Hey, mate. Just so you don't have to quiz the doctors and nurses. Or y/n. Her right lung collapsed, left lung is bruised, they think it was the initial impact when the car flipped. Spinal fracture...They haven't exactly needed to say, but it's going to be a long and slow recovery. She can get out of here in a couple of days hopefully. But she's out for probably the reason." James sighs making Lando look at him to a look that makes James feel like he kicked a puppy. Clearly Lando is feeling the pain on his girlfriend's behalf at that thought. "But she's alive, and honestly that's all that matters to me."

"Yeah, yeah. Obviously. Is she awake?"

"Yeah, but she's still a little out of it from the drugs. They don't want to ease her off of them yet...it was an aggressive method of fixing it." James mumbles almost looking pained by the thought of what y/n has experienced. "Anyway, you go on. She wants to see you."

"Thanks man." Lando nods before exchanging a quick hug and moving into the hospital room, the sight of y/n in the bed. She's hot a nasal cannula and more wires and tubes around her than Lando would ever want to see around her. "Hey, there's my beautiful."

"I'm not beautiful right now." Y/n states earning a frown before tears begin to fall and the worst words Lando could've ever heard from her are uttered. "It hurt so much and I was so scared."

Lando knows if the drugs weren't in her system, y/n never would've let anyone know that information. Especially not him.

"You're ok now and you don't need to be scared, I'm going to make sure you're so safe." Lando smiles sitting down and taking her hand into his own. "I'm not going anywhere till you are. I love you."

"I love you too." Y/n mumbles with a small smile. "I'm not going to be allowed to drive for a long time am I?"

"Don't worry about that. Right now, all we need you to focus on it getting better so when you're ready, you're back in that car." Lando smiles kissing her hand. "Ok?"

"Ok."

"Now, you get rest because that's the best way to start recovery, yeah?"

"Yeah." Y/n mumbles almost obediently.

-

Y/n asks Lando to handle sharing news online since she does have a lot of people concerned for her since absolutely no news had been shared about if she was even conscious. They're only been able to share how bad the crash was.

Of course in a very sweet post, and thanks to James returning and capturing a photo of Lando leaning forwards to sleep with his head on the bed next to her, clutched onto her hand while she slept.

Then after that Lando decided to share a video on his story just to share a cute moment.

"Hey, baby. What we doing today?" Lando smiles as y/n sits on the edge of the bed.

"Leaving! Hate this bed. 3 days is too much." Y/n grins though it's fairly obvious she's slow moving and not in any rush to move too quickly.

"We're getting her out." Lando confirms then placing his phone down when she tries and fails to put her shoes on without bending down. "I got it, baby. I got it."

Capturing the moment on video of Lando helping her get her shoes on wasn't actually the intention but he's not exactly sorry for it either. The man loves capturing memories in all sorts of ways and while this might not be a time of her life y/n is overly eager to remember, but he thinks it's important for her to remember these moments.

-

Y/n return to the paddock for Japan was a big deal. Though they made sure to have the most heavy duty security they could hire to keep anyone and everyone back. Her spine has done well to heal the fastest but she's not quite been able to push her body for recovery like Carlos had.

Though she tried and Carlos reached out to help. Actually so many of the drivers visited her when she was out of the hospital but still on strict bed rest in the hotel.

"Alright, will you be ok?" Lando asks, not particularly eager to be leaving her with Aston Martin, as much as James being there is reassuring.

"Yeah, I'm good." Y/n mumbles earning a nod from the McLaren driver but he still looks uneasy. "I'm only here with them for a couple hours then I'll come find you."

"I know, I just hate it." Lando shrugs earning a small smile before he leans in and kisses her. "Please text or call if you need-or just want me."

"Ok." Y/n laughs making him sigh before she gives him one final kiss then links her hand to James' for some support. James winks at Lando to reassure him that he's got her.

-

"And there is y/n, on the pit wall between Aston Martin, her team who have been very vocal of the fact that as soon as she is ready to race again. The seat is hers for the taking. But it has been acknowledged that y/n's recovery is long and the F1 medics and doctors have said she is nowhere near where they'd want her to be for driving." Crofty states as y/n watches from the pit wall with James.

"I do want to credit y/n, she's documented the small progress and journey because her fans have been so so concerned. She didn't have to share anything but she has and I think it's really actually woken people up to the risk the drivers take. Obviously footage of the crash is now out there, it was...horrific and knowing that she was trapped, she was in a hell of a lot of pain. It's a big deal that she's even here." Martin adds earning a hum and nod. "I'm sure it's not fun for her to be here watching, I spoke to her and she definitely wants to be back in the car...Lando seems happy to extend her leave for as long as possible purely out of concern for her not getting back into things too quick and before she's ready and fit to be in the car."

Y/n has actually realised it might not be till Spain or Austria before she's back in the car. Which is 6 or 7 races, not including the one she's missing here in Japan.

"How you feeling?" James asks as she watches the cars go past, her smiling as she spots Lando specifically passing by.

"I hate being a spectator." Y/n admits earning a sympathetic smile. "But it's kind of nice getting to watch Lando again."

"Aww...I'm sure he'll love that." James chuckles earning a hum.

-

A few weeks of painfully slow healing and reintroducing herself into training again, y/n is finally making progress to feeling more like herself.

It's in Spain that they decide to test her in FP1. Just to see how she feels being back in the car. Though Lando isn't eager for her to make such a step. Not because he wants to be unsupportive, but he just doesn't want her being in pain because of it.

"You seem more nervous than me." Y/n jokes as they lie in bed together, Lando underneath her while she lies on his upper body. "If it hurts or I can't handle it, then I'll let them know as soon as possible."

"I know you will, I just don't like the thought of you hurting at all."

Y/n doesn't remember telling Lando that it hurt and that she was scared. The drugs were still so heavy that the memories of Lando getting to the hospital aren't something she recalls, but that sentence still haunts him.

Eventually they're up and out the hotel, getting on with their days and while Lando is feeling nervous for y/n. She seems eager and excited.

They're taking a similar approach to Carlos and taking precautions of extra padding when she's in the car and it really is still just the one practice to see how she fairs. If things go well and she feels confident then she could very well be back for Austria.

"Alright, good luck kiss." Lando smiles as he catches her walking out the Aston Martin unit ahead of the practice. "I forgot how good you look in a race suit."

It actually took a bit longer than she is used to getting the suit on with having to add the extra padding and taping her in hopes of making sure she's as secure and comfortable as possible.

"Mmm...I always thought you preferred me out of one." Y/n teases with a grin before looping her arms around his neck and kissing him. "Good luck."

"Good luck." Lando whispers stealing another kiss before he moves quickly away from her.

To y/n's surprise when she walks into the garage, she actually finds herself being applauded walking into the garage and she almost hides herself behind James.

Then she spots a banner over the top of the garage entrance saying "we missed you". Her lip immediately begins to tremble as she tries to stop her emotions getting the better of her.

"Aww...Success. We surprised you." James laughs while the team cheer.

"We've missed you kid." Her head mechanic smiles moving to hug her gently. "The car is all ready for you and you've got 5 minutes before the session starts."

Eventually she's actually given everyone a hug before finally moving back to get her balaclava on and her helmet before climbing into the cockpit and settling down into the seat.

They're careful about the seatbelts while making sure they're as secure as always.

"Comfortable?"

"Yeah, I'm good." She nods before smiling brightly with a thumbs up.

Maybe it's not surprise that Aston Martin has made sure to have several cameras on her for her return. They've actually been very eagerly awaiting her recovering and return. But with the risk of her lung collapsing again being 50% in the initial following weeks after it happened. There was no one willing to take the risk of compromising her recovery.

"Radio check, super star." Vinnie's voice states in her ears making her laugh.

"Radio check, lover." Y/n laughs before sighs softly. "When can I go?"

"Soon. Calm down. The track is going to be shit to drive on. Needs a serious clean up."

"I don't care. This already feels like I've just got home."

"Oh stop, I'm tearing up." Vinnie mocks since he knows y/n can take it.

"Shut up and let me out this garage." Y/n laughs which does give Vinnie the push to get her out on track.

When she's directed to get out into the pit lane she's already hyper aware that the cameras will likely be focusing on her. The whole paddock has been completely enamoured by her. She almost feels like it's her first week again.

"The grand return. I have to say it is amazing to see y/n out on track. I have so missed her." Crofty states as they watch y/n take turn 1.

"Yes, she's been working hard. I actually spoke to her trainer James. He said that she's been determined to be back before the summer break. I think it's safe to say that she is more than ready to be back but they fairly want to test her before throwing her in for a race. I feel like it's been a while and we forget that y/n was actually very close to not being with us at all because of the extent of her injuries and the fact she was trapped upside down in that car. If they hadn't got her out the car in time we could've seen a very different outcome."

"Well let's see how she is during and after this practice."

"She's certainly prepared for being the centre of attention. I saw her talking to Laura earlier in an interview and she said that she was absolutely being hounded by anyone and everyone."

"Lando made a comment about it. The poor man has definitely been feeling the stress about her being back in the car. In fact-there he is in a replay in his garage, watching y/n drive past."

"The drivers obviously care when one of them is hurt but Lando is absolutely in love with y/n and vice versa, but when the report came that he was refusing to get in the car during the red flag because of her crash. That was big to me, I mean obviously he had no idea of how sever things were. No one even knew how bad the crash was. He was just as much in the dark as the rest of us and I do believe he would've withdrawn himself from that race."

"I agree. Oh and out he comes. perfectly timed with y/n just ending her flying lap which...wow, y/n may have only gotten back in the car but she's just set a 1:13.1." Crofty chuckles shaking his head. "Oh and there's a nice little wave from Lando as they pass. Very sweet."

"Well, so long as she's feeling good. I think that lap along is certainly a good sign that we will be seeing her in Austria for the whole race weekend." Martin smiles making Crofty agree immediately.

-

Y/n had a bit of a sore neck but other than that, she felt great. Rejuvenated actually.

"I rewatched the whole hour of your practice...You belong in that car on track." Lando grins as they get ready for bed. "Are they sure you can't just do the whole weekend and race?"

"Mmm...I think they want to wait and see that I still feel ok tomorrow. The concern isn't necessarily just the immediately effects."

"I'm so proud of you, baby." Lando grins making her smile as he cups her face.

"You were bricking it the whole time I was out there...I've been tagged by literally every fan a million times in the clips of you looking like you're going to be sick. Especially when I first came out the garage." Y/n smiles before sighing and pulling Lando down to the bed. "But right now I really just need your cuddles."

"Aww...my baby." Lando coos with a grin laughing as she nuzzles into him. "You know...I don't know what I would do without you. I love you so much."

"You don't need to worry. I could crash a thousand times, I'm going to come back to you ever time. Because I love you too...So much." Y/n grins shifting up and kissing him. "Just don't crash like I did, because it hurts like hell and I'd react much worse than you did."

"Noted." Lando smiles before feeling her rest her head on his chest.

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