#i don’t wanna like. block them. because i enjoy the majority of their content | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

beacon-lamp · 3 years

Text

with hermitcraft season 7 slowly coming to an end, i figured it was time to consolidate all of the Informative Posts about hermitcraft that i and some of the other members of hermitblr have made over the last several months.

if you enjoy:

minecraft youtube content, but want to see more traditional vanilla minecraft gameplay like building and redstone

fun, lighthearted interactions between genuine friends including Elaborate pranks, collaborating on massive projects, light roleplay, proximity voice chat mod

weekly 20 - 40 minute long youtube videos and consistent upload schedules

chill grind stream weekends where CCs interact with chat and each other

an entire youtube channel dedicated to weekly 20-minute recap videos on what all the hermits have been up to so you don’t have to piece it together from the posts on your dash/timeline

insanely talented people who have been doing mcyt for nearly, if not more than, a decade and essentially built minecraft youtube from the ground up

give hermitcraft a try!

you will find all of the information you will Ever Need below the cut. it’s Very Long so view it on desktop.

and if you ever have any more questions, just shoot me an ask :)

what is hermitcraft?

the Basics: what, who, where, how

more details on the Basics

bonus: the historical impact many hermitcraft members have had on mcyt

where do i even start watching?

start with grian.

good mix of Incredible builds and fun server shenanigans. instigator of many server-wide events. interacts with many other hermits. generally entertaining to watch. but zero redstone knowledge.

check out hermitcraft recap.

great way to be introduced to other hermits and learn what everyone’s up to. if you find what a hermit’s been working on interesting, go watch their video and maybe give them a like and subscribe.

official hermitcraft website with links to every member’s channel

more information on every hermit’s attributes and general vibes

do hermits every stream?

short answer: yes, most do! but these streams are mostly chill grinding or buildling streams. and you don’t have to watch the streams to be caught up on content. check the official hermitcraft website for each member’s twitch links.

long answer that covers most of the hermits

what do they do on hermitcraft?

let’s start with some examples of their incredible builds.

hermit cribs: some of the megabases in s7

goodtimeswithscar’s s7 magical village with shaders

stressmonster’s bakery and ren’s star wars world

Capitalism

they have a shopping district where hermits can set up shops and sell items and resources that other hermits can buy with diamonds. here’s season 7 shopping district set on a mooshroom island:

some of the most advanced redstone you’ve ever seen

if you’re more into the technical side of minecraft, you can be rest assured that hermitcraft has some of the Biggest Brains in redstone.

tangotek: a fucking madlad. Singled-handedly created the minigame Decked Out. im Begging you to watch his tutorial video on how to play. currently finishing up his Among Us but in minecraft minigame. all of this was built Entirely in survival vanilla minecraft. get this man to 1M subscribers.

mumbo jumbo: the man himself. built a 128 x 128 block industrial district in both season 6 and 7 packed to the Brim with mechanical farms. half the brain behind the masterpiece of engineering that was Sahara in season 6. currently working on Pacific, the sequel to Sahara, in season 7.

iskall85: the other half of the brain behind Sahara and working on Pacific with mumbo in season 7. also has an industrial district like mumbo’s in season 7.

xisuma: built an automatic potion brewer in the second half of season 7. this thing churns out potions by the Shulker Box. can also turn a shulker box full of potions into splash potions and extend duration all with a press of a button.

impulseSV: incredible example of form + function. farms are scattered throughout his base. he has a farm for nearly every farmable resource in vanilla minecraft.

etho: the pioneer of some of the most widely used redstone mechanisms to date. content isn’t super redstone-focused. mostly does compact modules that serve a specific function.

zedaph: makes strange contraptions. he’s basically if grian knew how to redstone. impeccable vibes and fairly underrated.

bdoubleo100: he occassionally does this segment called “redstone with bdubs” and it’s the only redstone i understand so that’s why he’s here.

what about roleplay? and lore?

yeah they have Plenty of that too.

it generally comes in the form of self-contained storylines that involve most members on the server and take place over the course of several weeks in multiple videos. it’s fairly light roleplay, if that’s not your thing. but the plotlines also have a Massive Potential to be angsty and whatnot if you really look into it, which a lot of people also do.

here’s a more in-depth look into the Major Plotlines over the last 2 seasons (season 6 and 7). huge spoiler warning though.

um also there’s this post that highlights how truly cursed hermitcraft can be if you dig deep enough hahaha.

so do the hermits only make hermitcraft content?

nope!! many of them are involved in other mcyt content as well and are friends with other prominent members of the mcyt community!!

MCC

mcc9 blue bats video essay: the time the hermit team won the whole damn competition. a wonderfully made video worth Every second of your time. especially if you don’t typically watch the hermit teams.

falsesymmetry: mcc10 ace and mcc’s First Back-to-Back Winner

lord grian dreamslayer: that time grian Popped Off, killing dream, tubbo, and fundy in mcc9 survival games

Vault Hunters

a modded minecraft server coded entirely by iskall85′s team. all the content is streamed live on twitch.

current members are: Iskall85, AntonioAsh, Stressmonster101, HBomb94, CaptainSparklez, Fundy, CaptainPuffy, 5UP and Tubbo

more info on the series

3rd Life SMP

hardcore minecraft server with a twist that started on 4/20/21. all content is posted to each member’s respective youtube channels.

every member has 3 lives, as indicated by the color of their name: green for 3 lives left, yellow for 2, red for 1. if they lose all three lives, they can only spectate the world (like in hardcore mode). the series ends when all members have lost all three lives.

the twist: once a member is on their 3rd and final life, as indicated by a red name, they are Hostile and their goal is to take the lives of the remaining players.

the members (hermits are italicized): BdoubleO100, bigbst4tz2, Etho, GoodTimesWithScar, Grian, impulseSV, InTheLittleWood, Renthedog, Skizzleman, Smajor1995, Smallishbeans, SolidarityGaming, Tango, ZombieCleo

the tumblr tag for 3rd Life is “#3rdLife”, “#3rdLifeSMP” and “#3LSMP” if you wanna see more content, as it’s Not supposed to be cross-tagged with “#hermitcraft”.

do you have any free serotonin to spare?

here’s a bunch of posts that’ll make you smile

scar’s friendship with a bunch of the hermits

grian, false, cleo, bdubs, iskall: why they deserve so much respect

same post as above but with an addition about ren

small hermit things that give you serotonin

why you should watch tfc

if you’ve made it this far you are Contractually Obligated* to watch one (1) hermitcraft episode and reblog this post.

*for legal reason, this is a joke. you’re not contractually obligated but consider this: Please. i spent way too much time on this.

shoutout to everyone who’s posts i’ve linked and anyone who has helped answer a question about hermitcraft. this all started because i was frustrated that people were writing the hermits off as cannon fodder in mcc and im genuinely so glad that many of you have given hermitcraft a shot.

2K notes · View notes

shijiujun · 3 years

Text

on the danmei twitter fight

okay guys i didn’t wanna say anything about this and yes it’s that hot danmei twitter translations saga thing that’s going on, because honestly i feel like there’s nothing much to say but when i see dumb posts on tumblr taking about that, by people who present a misleading hot take and their friends or moots run off with it without even knowing what exactly is going on - it really pisses me off.

and also if you shit talk translators for not continuing their translations or locking their translations whatever - the door is that way on your right and left, but anyway here’s a rundown on what happened because i am seeing people make comments without two brain cells put together, without the slightest bit of consideration for the people who bring them translations

here’s my hot take and thesis: if you enjoy english translations made by fan translators, you don’t, in any way, no matter happens, shit talk fan translators. fan translators do this for free, and whatever their intentions are, whether genuine sharing or like some of you like to say, for clout, if you consume, and you enjoy these translations, i’m sorry, you’re not uninvolved, and you don’t get to sit on a high horse and say translators should or shouldn’t do something. you should just keep quiet, honestly, because someone else is doing you a favour, a favour that you are enjoying and taking. that’s what respect is.

i’m presenting both sides or i guess three sides of the story as objectively as i can, altho my support is still for fan translators who were just minding their own business before this blew up.

===

🔺 what happened:

so it started because one of the bigger translators in the fandom did this poll - i’m not blaming her at all, i doubt she had any intentions of shaming anyone or causing any controversy and was plain curious, but her poll asked english speaking danmei twitter how many people buy the digital, print copies of the danmei they read, and who did not.

in my honest opinion, it’s not strange at all for her to have created that poll, considering just how much work she’s put into making sure things are accessible for the eng-speaking danmei fandom. i mean i’d be curious too, to know out of my thousands of readers, what the reading and buying behaviour is like. do yourself a favour and don’t read too much into it.

obviously in an era where a lot of people do consume content for free whether the underlying content is profit-making (like anime, donghua, manhua, manga etc.) or not (fanfiction etc.), it was unsurprising to see that the last option - the ones who consume danmei without paying a single cent, came out as the majority. i don’t think this is a surprising result at all, for all sorts of reasons that i will not get into now.

anyway, this is obviously kind of a sore point in the fandom especially for translators who want a wider audience to support their fave author’s works - i won’t get into that for now, but the issue began because other translators or fans started to criticize the majority of people who don’t pay for objectively rather affordable danmei and just consume things for free.

and yes, i don’t deny that the argument on both sides got really heated and emotionally charged with both sides calling each other names which i believe is uncalled for, but it totally derailed the crux of the issue, which basically is that the majority of english-speaking danmei fandom - consumes danmei for free.

anyway this whole thing escalated and fan translators were brought into this for no fucking reason at all except that the people who didn’t want, or were unable to pay for the danmei they usually consume, made what i call a LOGICAL FALLACY in argument by going to the extremes, i will explain why later.

the end result is that fan translators were brought into this (most of them, the bigger ones i know at least) without even participating in the direct crossfire. and obviously, you can see why they’re hurt and decided to lock their translations. let me explain why

===

🔺 kind of like four camps:

(1) translators and fans who criticized those who consume danmei liberally but do not pay for them in any way - no merch, no digital copies, no physical copies, no audio dramas whatever

*** their arguments:

danmei is so cheap right, that technically people should be able to pay for it in one way or another, even if not all

danmei and its authors are, at the end of the day, out here to earn a living, and the industry, like any money-making industry, is a for-profit enterprise - and unlike public goods, if you cannot afford danmei, then there is no obligation for others to make it free for you (fan translators or otherwise, it wasn’t super clearly stated while this shitshow happened) when it is inherently a for-profit industry

yes, i don’t deny that some of them did call the peeps who don’t pay at all, “leeches” and other sort of names. personally, i wouldn’t go that far or even like venture there to be honest because in general, if it’s something that i’ll get punched in the face for if i called someone that in real life i tend not to do it, but i’ll leave my opinions, whatever they’re worth, for later

(2) the readers and fans of danmei who do not pay in any sort of way for them

*** their arguments:

some of them really cannot afford, even the dollar or more, to spend on danmei for several reasons: upbringing, culture, money-spending mindsets, real poverty, struggling to make ends meet etc. - some definitely more valid than others (and when i say not valid, it’s because SOME, a minority or like those few stragglers, say they cannot afford and then you see them like idk, throwing $50 on other merch on kpop and stuff - i’m just bringing up ONE example. not shaming anyone for spending more money on one aspect rather than the other, but yeah you can see why some of them, when making this same argument, are a little invalid, that’s just a small number of them tho)

if translators are blaming them for consuming free of charge, then the fault lies, at its foundation, fan translators who translate illegally, which i mean, in that definition, all of them including me

did i mention that we were called illegal translators like you know in response to being called leeches? anyway-

(3) others translators who literally were just minding their own fucking business before some smart alec dragged them into it

i don’t think most of us had an argument. we were just quietly munching on popcorn and staying out of it and yeah, can you imagine, we provide a service, however illegal it is, for free on our own time, we don’t even check whether people support legally or not, we just... provide, and pray that those who are able to, at least support in some small way or another do so, on their own time. i mean i don’t check, most of us don’t, not the bouncers at your local club before COVID happened do, and then suddenly, to be used to derail an argument, we were called illegal translators. and that we should stop translating, and that it is our fault that there are free riders in the fandom

(4) people who offered to provide JJWXC credits to those who said they couldn’t afford it etc.

honestly i think they were just trying to help - no different than a gofundme. there’s no shame in taking a free thing that people already weren’t intending to pay for. it’s there, just take it!

===

🔺 the shitshow that led to fan translators locking their stuff up:

i would provide some actual examples in the form of screenshots but i’ve blocked most of them, and i don’t want to direct any sort of traffic to them so i guess you’ll have to take my word on it or go search on twitter yourself but-

(1) the affordability issue: i can understand the frustration at being called leeches, and some if not a majority of people, do have valid reasons for not being able to afford something or anything and end up pirating content they enjoy. hey, i am not about to crucify anyone for pirating at some point in their lives. we all have done it at some point, or for example hate disney+ and that $30 they were trying to rip off us for a subpar Mulan live action. i don’t have anything to say about that. inherently, is it wrong and illegal? yeah sure of course it is. do we call people leeches? i wouldn’t go that far.

if anyone cannot afford, cannot access for whatever reason, fine, i’m not gonna go check if jjwxc truly is banned in your country, or is your postal service so terrible that you definitely won’t be able to receive a hard copy of the book you like at affordable rates.

and if you have to pirate? go ahead. i mean it’s always been a rampant thing. the only thing fan translators and fans can do is encourage, motivate and incentivise as much as possible to get people to support legally. they can only put up REALLY COMPREHENSIVE guides as to how to access jjwxc or taobao or whatever.

and if you still cannot afford it and pirate, honestly no one cares about the story behind it. you owe no one justification, just as how no other person is obligated to take it into consideration or understand you or empathize with you. i don’t say this in a malicious way - i do think that in general, you just do you.

(2) the poor people don’t deserve nice things argument: honestly, this was not the point of this entire debacle, altho yes, people were rude to those who could not afford to support legally. but this is not the point of this whole thing.

main point - there are free riders who can support but choose not to because they choose to just consume it for free and if you are able to you should support

everyone going off on a tangent - you guys hate poor people / you guys are leeches

well guess what, no one wins in this argument.

there were a lot of people saying “reading danmei is our only source of happiness, are you saying poor people who can’t access legally don’t deserve to read danmei” (this is just one example i’ve seen, there are other variations), and it wasn’t put across perhaps in the right way, but the other camp of people were saying “you’re not entitled to it for free if you cannot afford it”, which raised a lot of hackles and anti-poor yellings

altho i do not deny that there are those who mean it maliciously, i think what everyone is trying to say is - the danmei industry, like any other profit-making industry, is looking to make profits. the people working in the industry, the authors even, are looking at numbers - traffic to jjwxc or other legal platforms, how much revenue they’re making from their live actions etc., comments, rankings, etc. i think @/hunxi-after-hours made a really succinct post on this aspect which yall should read.

it’s the same as - if you wanted to purchase a standee which costs $20 USD, but you cannot afford it = you don’t get it. there’s no way you can get this standee unless some gifts it to you for free. what the camp trying to ask people to support legally is saying, is that danmei is NOT A PUBLIC GOOD. it is a private, for-profit product. it might be intangible, but it is a PRODUCT that has a price that needs to be paid.

if you cannot afford it, you either don’t get access entirely (i’m saying this objectively and honestly from an economic standpoint). if someone gifts that standee to you for free, count yourself lucky - if someone makes a danmei accessible to you for free, COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY. you don’t have to be grateful and treat them as gods or like obey their every word, but it’s not rocket science. someone did you a favour that you accepted and consumed, show some respect.

if you cannot afford to buy the standee - you do not go on twitter demanding that someone ensures that you have access to the standee for free. do you see how ridiculous this sounds once it’s a tangible product? and danmei novels ARE PRODUCTS. they are not FREE CONTENT. if someone cannot afford the standee, this is the equivalent of people going “we didn’t get the standee for free because poor people don’t deserve nice things”

totally missing the point. i don’t even know how it got to this. once again, i do admit that some users were unnecessarily mean, but going to the extreme of this is ridiculous. in argumentative essay writing we call this a logical fallacy:

e.g. “if you cannot pay for merchandise or danmei, it is a fact that you might not have access to it” morphing into “if we cannot pay for food, does this mean we cannot have access to it?!” - this is a slippery slope, and factors are not equivalent!!!! do they not teach people anything in school

don’t confuse fanfiction with danmei - danmei novels ARE PAID PRODUCTS unless for free chapters, just because it’s released online doesn’t mean it’s free public property, and also selected novels (did you guys know the WHOLE of SCI novel is free? about 500 chapters sorry, random, just a tidbit)

there are of course nuances right, like if anyone told me they were pirating disney+ content i’d be like yeah hey get one over those bloodsuckers, they take enough of our money and produce shit content anyway. the difference is that danmei authors, and the danmei industry itself can still be considered a nascent and not-yet matured industry, with a majority of authors if not all, depending on monetary flow, likes, comments, virality on the sites their content is hosted on, for a living, unlike hugeass MNCs trying to squeeze us dry for content that isn’t even interesting.

danmei is priced rather reasonably - and this brings me to another argument that was made, that the value of money is not the same for everyone. i don’t want to make comments on this because yes this is correct to a large extent. a $6 book might be cheap to most of us, but might be expensive to someone else. i’m not gonna comment on how cheap or whatever it is, if you gotta use your money for other things, definitely! i still maintain however, that a novel less than a dollar should be affordable to most people, a majority of people. and i definitely side eye some users who obviously have money but are just creating noise because they wanna continue free-riding

(4) the “they’re losing out on their international audience” argument: honestly, i feel like english-speaking danmei fandom gives themselves a bit too much credit. danmei has long thrived in china in its domestic market - sure the international audience is a plus to have and i’m sure the authors are grateful and flattered that people who don’t understand chinese love their content and love it a lot, but do they and their companies care about fans who basically don’t bring in money? i’m not sure (okay i’ll get to the fan translators doing illegal shit later okay i got it don’t be impatient)

and international fans are great, i don’t deny that - but when i see arguments like “oh but it’s their loss if they don’t cater or deny access to us, they get more popularity and sharing overseas”, i honestly think they don’t care as much as you think. once again, hunxi made a really good argument regarding non-sinophone audiences, but it really irks me, because this is the same as:

an instagram influencer saying they’ll give a restaurant exposure for free to their followers, if they get a free meal

it’s par for par - danmei authors wants earnings, popularity, tangible results that show that they are succeeding. this is life. if i put something out there for sale, i better be getting returns, simple economic logic. they probably don’t care that a non-paying reader is bringing them greater ‘exposure’ - once again, i mean this objectively.

and yes if they’re thriving without the international market then why should it matter that people are pirating right? which brings me to the next point~

(5) it’s fan translators faults for so many people pirating, and fan translators are the ones doing the “illegal” work: this one is like... wow where do i unpack this and how-

firstly, we are talking about assholes who can pay but decide to free ride and not pay for danmei, and we assume that if you really cannot afford and have to pirate, no one’s saying anything as long as you don’t go around spreading how to pirate, how the hell did it get to fan translators from “you guys are anti-poor” and whatever

yes, fan translations are indeed illegal, i don’t deny that, and i also don’t deny that there are translators who translate for clout and popularity but putting these aside - here’s what i have seen from people who ran their mouths and made this argument

“if you guys care about us pirating the book so much than fan translators shouldn’t have translated in the first place” and “if you wanna come after us for reading illegally, then fan translators, you guys should go get the copyright for the book and then translate it cuz what you guys are doing is also illegal”

hooooo i’m telling ya, i am all for translators locking up their translations at this point. see how fucking hurtful that is? you eat from my hand and then now you biting at the hand that fed you the gays in love?

honestly if you’ve made this argument or supported this, you can basically go to hell. yes this is personal because what, you think fan translators don’t take out their personal time and effort and hard work to make translations accessible to you? if you’re ever consumed and read translations, don’t be a hypocrite and make this argument. you benefitted from it, now you wanna say it’s their fault?

most translators want to share and spread the love they have for a novel right, want to show you how wonderful all these authors are, how much enjoyment u get from reading these wonderfully thought out stories of gays in love. yes we all know we are illegally translating, which is why on top of sharing we first, purchase the novels legally ourselves first, and then we try to encourage people to buy etc. and actually put their money to use. it doesn’t make it any less illegal, but we are bridging the gap between danmei and basically the english-speaking fandom, albeit illegally

we aren’t that self-important to ask for gratefulness but some respect would be nice. like i said, you read it, you consumed it, you enjoyed it, you can only access it because of illegal translators - a bit counter-intuitive to yell at these translators, who are simply telling you, if you can, please support. and none of us went “if you cannot afford, begone!”

===

🔺 some people tried to help by offering jjwxc credits so people who cannot afford as they say, can get legal access: honestly, just take it right, guess what some of these users did in response

they said the people giving away credits are trying to redeem themselves for their comments by giving away free stuff

they also said that we are trying to shame the people who cannot afford it with this handout to them, to show that they are the bigger person - the fact that they think this is a handout to them is TELLING. the people offering this is giving their money not to these readers, but to the authors! that’s the point of this exercise!!!

one of them even said “instead of trying to do these giveaways, here, there are greater world problems out there, donate instead to these causes” - love the initiative, but how did we get from being able to afford danmei and entertainment content to saving the world? i just- i cannot

===

🔺 so why i get why fan translators are locking up their translations, because wow, so hurtful:

you have no idea how many fucking assholes went “sure, lock up your translations, deal with the consequences” - ermmmm firstly, thanks for making a threat. like who the fuck do you think you are?

the consequences is... the authors still don’t get the money these free riders weren’t going to give them anyway, so no loss, and they weren’t reading on jjwxc anyway so you know, the authors don’t lose or gain any readership numbers or traffic they didn’t already have. instead, it WILL push and force people to pay for the PRODUCT. once again, it’s a product.

this works, and i’d say Word of Honor’s payment model worked marvellously for Youku, because they fucking forced everyone to pay to access content. ALL OF THEM. sure ok some people still pirated it, but how many MORE people paid on Youku, on Youku Youtube, watched on Viki etc. than if they didn’t? even english-speaking fandom were wracking their brains trying to purchase a Youku pass even if there were no subs initially - and other examples that lovely hunxi brought up in her amazing piece

and for translators?! honestly me for one, i’m glad i don’t feel pressured anymore to churn out a chapter every week since we get called names etc. most of us are glad to have a break to be honest. we’ve lost all motivation to translate because it’s a free service, at the very least we don’t expect like hate, or rudeass fuckers. for those who are doing a proof of purchase thing - go for it honestly!

hopefully it’ll minimize the free rider problem - some people for whatever reasons really cannot buy or support legally, that’s totally cool and they don’t have to justify it, i get that. but for others making the same argument but obviously are just unwilling to pay because they can’t read chinese, think it’s too troublesome when there are guides and translators provide it for free anyway so what’s the point - we all make concessions and make decisions to grab what we like (not talking about the ppl who have their various troubles and difficulties!)

===

🔺 and those who are saying why is it the ‘rest of us suffer’ from locked translations just because of a few bad apples:

IT ISN’T ABOUT YOU. where the hell were all of ya when we were getting called illegal huh? it’s about us fan translators getting shot at for no reason, and then people still demanding things for free. i don’t see any of the people i’ve seen on tumblr complain about fan translators stopping or locking translations defend any of us in any way. instead, you’re complaining.

it is the translator’s prerogative to start, stop and end translations, unless of course the original author starts to sue i suppose. i see people on tumblr going like if they were gonna do this, they shouldn’t have started in the first place etc. - i don’t what world you live in, but when i do something for free, then get called names and am attacked or get dictated on how i should do something that’s already like free, i tend to be less generous.

i’m sorry, do us illegal and free translators owe ANY OF YOU? i wasn’t aware any of us were being paid for this hobby. readers, especially those who CAN and just refuse to support, don’t get to say SHIT. translators deal with so much shit and so many entitled readers, i say they get to lock whatever they want as long as they aren’t profiting off of this monetarily.

let me give you an example - nan chan, which is translated by lian yin, completed translations by the way for all chapters. it is all free for viewing, and she only locked up one extra and asked for proof of payment. some dumbfuck quotes that locked up extra chapter tweet and said “honestly, this turned me off reading this novel because they restricted access”.

the. fucking. entitlement. the whole of nan chan is free, that’s like what more than 80 chapters. she locked up the EXTRA and the money goes to the author, she doesn’t earn anything. AND HERE THAT BIJ is (yes, i’m going to call them names because you know, fucking asshole who didn’t bother to check) going “yeah i didn’t wanna read because 1/80+ chapters were locked”.

AN EXTRA. LITERALLY AN EXTRA!!!!!!

at the end of the day, translators are not like DYING to translate, not like some of you are DYING to read the translations. once again, this isn’t a “BE GRATEFUL” message, it’s a please be respectful to the people who put in time and hard work for free and share the goodness ya know? what’s the use of yelling at fan translators as if we owe you anything?

================

🔴🔴🔴 TOO LONG DIDN’T READ 🔴🔴🔴

some people may need really need to pirate - and no one needs to justify why they cannot afford to purchase etc. pirating happens all the time, translators only hope that when you can, and in whatever way you can, to support legally - in general we don’t ask and we get it! we’re just annoyed that some people think that it SHOULD BE FREE, when it is a paid product, especially for those who CAN afford it

readers are not entitled to shit on translators for what they do with their translations - once again, you’re not OBLIGATED to have it. so what if i start and stop? i’m the one doing the work, i get the only say. don’t be a hypocrite and shit on translators, whose works you’ve read - it’s no loss for translators, we read and enjoy danmei just fine

yes, fan translations are illegal, but you can’t read and enjoy them like some of you have, and then turn around and point the finger at translators - a lot of us are happy to stop translating - this isn’t a threat, but at the end of the day, shitting on translators simply decreases access, and sure, some people can indeed live with you know, MTL or shitty translations from people who’ve learnt chinese for only six months or whatever, but you’re gonna be reading an entirely different book tbh

the people saying illegal translators are at fault - funnily enough, most of them consume the translations, so what the fuck? i mean we know it’s illegal, we’re trying to share the love and trying to minimize the illegalities of it by redirecting people to hopefully support legally. it’s still illegal yes, but i think it’s hypocritical for people who have read translations, stab translators in the back. and now that translators are indeed ‘restricting’ and ‘removing’ their ‘illegal translations’, yall yelling again? and threatening?

fan translators aren’t “elitist” or “classist” - just looking for some respect in a community which seems to have taken them for granted, and also looking for support for their fave authors - and honestly a lot of us were caught in the crossfires truly, don’t be an asshole and demand things from fan translators - who are you talking about? do you know why they decided to lock? do you know know what their locking system is like and what for?

it’s not EASY to lock the translations up - it’s more admin work, it’s putting together a whitelist of people, if given the choice i’m sure translators would prefer to share everything. but not when there are assholes who have a comment on how they should translate etc. and yeah!!! calling us illegal!! i mean we are but still!!

the last straw was seeing that post on tumblr and people in the comments going like fan translators shouldn’t or should do something, without getting the whole picture, without even considering how hard it is for fan translators being caught in this situation.

whoever puts in the work gets to decide, and everyone else should leave them alone.

be nice to the people who really cannot afford as they say so (or just don’t think about it), be nice to the translators feeding you content, and the people who free ride and shit on translators - honestly, i’d say ready the pitchforks.

edit: i forgot to mention this is my hot take and i’ve tried to like present all the arguments i’ve seen so far. i’m definitely not doing all of it justice and i don’t claim to speak on behalf of any of them except maybe one or two- and i’ve definitely left out stuff, but anyway, lmao we’re just tiny people doing what we love. i wish we could solve you know inequality or poverty or hunger or other pressing concerns. if i was that great i wouldn’t be stuck on tumblr or twitter or have to make posts like these like a loser.

thanks for coming to my ted talk.

#danmei #danmei twitter #rambles #long post #literally cannot take the stupidity of some people anymore

451 notes · View notes

reidgraygubler · 3 years

Text

take care (lesley smith-juniment/gender-neutral!reader)

Title: take care Requested: no Couple: lesley smith-juniment/gender-neutral!reader Category: fluff Content Warning: drinking, drunken shenanigans, there was only one bed trope, reader throws up, talks about sex (but it doesn’t happen, just talked about) Word Count: 2641 Summary: Lesley takes care of reader after they had too much to drink A/N: this was written for @imagining-in-the-margins only one bed challenge! This is the first time i’ve written lesley, so bear with me! I appreciate you <3 i really hope you guys enjoy this :D check out my masterlist!

{***}{***}{***}

I should have realized how much I had to drink the night before. My head was absolutely pounding and my whole body was killing me. I hardly remember what I did last night. It was just one shot of tequila too many, and then everything was gone.

Damn tequila… And damn my friends for buying shots. At least I wasn’t too much of an embarrassment. Or at least I thought. Drunk me is very, very different than sober me. Drunk me was the life of the party, sober me was not.

I wish I could remember what I did the night before. Lesley was there, and Summer was there. And… Summer’s finance joined, too... I do, however, remember Lesy trying to stop me from drinking but… He’s not my babysitter.

Or… Was he?

My body instantly popped up as I realized I wasn’t in my own room. It was a hotel room, but it wasn’t mine. It was… It was Lesley’s. His boots and clothing neatly set to the side easily told me it was his room.

But it was also him asleep beside me that told me it was his room. Lesley was on the total edge of the bed, on top of the sheets, and his back facing me. I knew he’s never slept in the same bed as another person before, but the least he could have done was act like it was fine.

I tumbled out of the bed, nearly falling to the floor. It was quite the surprise when I realized I was wearing just a shirt (which belonged to Lesley) and underwear. No wonder he was on top of the sheets, and on the extreme edge of the bed.

“Fuck,” I whispered as I searched the room for my clothes. My shirt and pants were thrown around, and my shoes were hiding under the bed. I hope nothing bad happened last night. And by bad I mean I didn’t actually say or do anything… inappropriate.

“Are you okay?” Lesley asked after a moment of silence. I looked over at him with a raised eyebrow. “I just… I heard you fall off the bed, and I’m sure you have a killer hangover. You had like… A whole bottle of tequila with Summer,” he nervously chuckled as he looked at me. I looked back at him with wide eyes.

“Yeah, yeah I’m okay. Headache would be correct,” I nervously laughed as I lifted a hand to hold my head. “I was just about to go find… Bacon! Bacon and grease and water and… Yeah, it helps hangovers.” I looked down at the ground.

“It’s probably too late for shitty continental breakfast, right?” Lesley asked as he slipped out of the bed. I stared at him for a moment.

“Probably… I was just going to go to the Denny’s down the street,” I muttered as I gestured in the vague direction of the breakfast restaurant.

“Can I… go with?”

“Yeah, of course you can, Les,” I answered with a smile. Although my smile felt disingenuous. Maybe that’s what I meant. I still don’t know who I was last night, I could have done anything…

Our journey to the Denny’s was pretty silent. I must have been real bad last night if Lesley didn't say anything. It wasn’t till I had my coffee and breakfast sitting in front of me that I said anything.

“Can… Can you tell me what exactly happened last night?” I asked, as I dumped the two sugar packets into my coffee. Lesley looked at me with a raised brow. “Like you said… Whole bottle of tequila,” I chuckled.

And then he told me… {***}{***}{***}

Drinks… That was exactly what I needed. Work sucked, home sucked, life sucked, everything sucked. So I needed drinks, because drinking fixes everything. I shouldn’t say that. That’s not true, but drinking can fix a lot.

Summer and her fiance had invited Lesley out for drinks. Which in turn, Lesley asked me to join them. I couldn’t say no to Lesley. To be honest, I wouldn’t have gone had Lesley not invited me. Sure, Summer is one of my greatest friends. But I hated her fiance, Bradley… I wasn’t the only one who hated him though. Lesley hated him just as much, if not more. We had our different reasonings though. I hated him simply because he was a dick, and Summer was amazing.

It was hard to say just how many actual drinks I had, and I lost count of how many shots were consumed. But the majority were done between me and Summer. We were both so far gone, but we were having fun. So who cares?

To answer my own question, Lesley. Lesley cared because he’s my best friend. Of course he’d care. He cared about our safety more than Bradley did. Bradley was too busy drinking himself to notice Summer or me.

I think I was just drinking so excessively to get his attention, too. He was so busy pining over Summer that he didn’t realize I was right in front of him. My plan did work, though. I had most certainly gotten his attention as I stumbled up to the bar and ordered another round of shots for Summer and I. Summer was somewhere, dancing with a bunch of strangers while I did this. She was the one who said get more shots.

“Hey Pal… Are-Are you okay?” Lesley asked as he appeared by my side. I lowered my margarita glass to the counter as I looked at him. I hated the way that he looked motion blurred as I stared at him. The world around him was moving a touch too fast for me to pay attention to him.

“I-I’m fucking great, Les! Fucking awesome!” My words came out like a slurred mess. There was no apparent lie in my words. I felt awesome. It was the tequila talking. “I think… I think it’s time for another shot! You want one?!” I shouted as I turned back to face the bar.

“No, no! I don’t want one. I think we should go. Get you back to the hotel so you can-”

“You want to leave!? Lesley! Tonight’s the night, Dude! We can’t leave! What if we died tomorrow?!” I shouted as I turned back to him. My hands found their way to his shoulders and I looked at him. “We can’t leave now!”

“I think we should,” Lesley retorted as he grabbed my arms. I stared at him before looking over at my drink. I grabbed it and drank the rest of it in one go.

“Okay now we can go.” I looked back at him. Lesley stared at me with a worried crease between his brows, causing me to smirk. I was too far gone, and he knew that. I was about to make his life a hell, and I couldn’t help it. That’s how it was when I was drunk, though. He played the concerned friend (but he’s always concerned), and I was the drunken toddler.

“Alright, c’mon,” he mumbled as he wrapped his arm around my waist. I stumbled away from the bar counter. I was thankful that Lesley kept his arm around me because I was sure to fall without him. He was always there to pick me up whenever I fell.

Maybe that’s why I liked Lesley so much. And not just as a friend. He cared about me in ways other people haven’t ever cared for me. Sure, Summer cared about me… But she’s not the one making sure I get back to the hotel safely.

“We’re not gonna say bye to Summer and Bradley?” I asked as Lesley brought us towards the exit of the bar. I looked over my shoulder to see Summer still dancing away with the strangers while Bradley flirted with other women at the bar.

“I told Bradley we were leaving,” Lesley muttered once we were finally outside. I took a deep breath of the fresh and cool air. It was so vastly different from the muggy air inside the bar.

“But I wanna say bye to Summer!” I exclaimed as Lesley took the lead towards the hotel. It was already too late because I had said that when we were blocks away from the bar.

“You can tell her where we went in the morning when you see her,” Lesley looked down at me. I sighed and rolled my eyes. Again, Lesley cared about me and I was grateful for that. I probably wouldn’t have ended up at the hotel if he didn’t take me now.

As I stumbled down the sidewalk, with Lesley’s arm around me, I rambled about everything, while at the same time nothing. Random things that didn’t matter, or silly things that crossed my mind. I didn’t even notice when Lesley just replied with the same three responses: ‘mhmm’, ‘oh really?’, ‘that’s funny’. I’m sure he had given up on holding a conversation with me. I’d do the same thing.

Somewhere between halfway and almost at the hotel, I forgot where we were going. But I was too afraid to ask him till we were inside the hotel lobby, waiting for the elevator.

“Where are we?” I murmured as I hung off Lesley’s shoulder. He looked down at me before looking back at the elevator doors.

“The hotel…”

“Are we going to your room?” I giggled as I threw my arms around his neck.

“I-Uh…”

“PUH-lease?” I begged as he took a step forward. A squeal came from me as he began dragging me towards the elevator.

“Okay! Okay! We can go to my room. I can sleep on the floor, or the armchair.” “Yay!” I jumped off his body and clapped my hands together. Lesley laughed nervously as he helped me into the elevator. “But… But why do you have to sleep on the floor or the armchair?”

“B-Because!” He shouted as he pressed the button to his floor. I squinted as I looked at him. “I shouldn’t have to have a reason.”

“Wait… Wait… Lesley, have you… Have you ever shared a bed with someone?” I looked up at him before batting my eyelashes. Lesley’s body stiffened as he looked at the scratchy silver elevator doors. I smiled as I threw my arms around his middle. “Am I taking your bed sharing ver-ginny-titty?”

“No, you’re not. I’ve shared beds with my moms.”

“That doesn’t count, Lessy. You know that,” I looked up at him with a smile. “I thought you’ve had sex before!?” I shouted as the elevator doors slid open. Two older women were standing on the other side. They heard me yell something about sex.

“Stop… Talking,” Lesley said in a harsh whisper as he looked at me.

“But! How have you never shared a bed with someone if you’ve had sex before!?” I continued to shout as Lesley pulled me off the elevator.

“Have a nice night,” he said as he looked at the older ladies. I looked at them and waved as he dragged me down the hall. “I have had sex. But…” Lesley stopped talking as he began looking for the room key. I stared at him, waiting for the rest of his answer. “I haven’t slept in the same bed as someone,” he finally finished once the key card was in his hand.

“H-How do you-”

“It just happened.”

Lesley looked at me as he unlocked the door. I smiled as he pulled me into the room. If he wasn’t holding onto me, I would have stumbled into the room and fell right to the floor. But since he was holding me, he caught me and held me upright. I looked over at him with a smile.

“So I am taking your bed sharing ver-ginny-titty,” I cackled before stumbling away from him. Lesley watched me as I approached this single queen bed. The bedding was still perfectly made, no sign of human life was seen in this room. Give or take the small suitcase sitting by the desk and a few toiletries in the bathroom.

That was until I was sitting on the bed… throwing up on the floor and my feet. Once the contents of my stomach made its home on the floor, I fell back and groaned.

“I’m so sorry, Lesley. I frew up.” I threw a hand over my face once I realized what had just happened. I could feel Lesley’s anger from my spot on the bed.

“It’s okay. I’m gonna… I’ll clean it up.” His voice was soft as he spoke. I knew he was mad, but to be fair, if someone had thrown up in my hotel room I’d be pissed, too.

I stayed quiet as Lesley worked on cleaning up the mess. Part of me wished I could do something to help, but I’d probably make it a bigger mess than it already is.

Once he was done cleaning, he sat on the opposite end of the bed and looked over at me.

“Can you go to sleep?”

“I don’t know. Can you go to sleep, Wes-wee?” I looked up at him as I readjusted so I was in the bed properly. He looked at me with an obvious tired expression in his eyes. I looked away from him before going under the covers. “Yeah, I can go to sleep,” I whispered as I shifted closer to him. “I love you, Lesley,” I sighed deeply into his chest before passing out.

{***}{***}{***}

“Oh my god, I’m never drinking again.” I pressed both my hands to my face and let out a deep, resigned sigh. Lesley nervously laughed, causing me to look up at him.

“Do you really like me though?” he asked before taking another bite from his pancakes. I froze, my fork stabbed in a pancake. The syrup oozed out of the sides as if it was blood. It was unfortunate that I was probably not going to finish my food. I was really looking forward to pancakes, too.

“I like you a lot more than you think, Lesley,” I nervously laughed again before looking down at my coffee. It was mostly gone anyway, and I wished I had more. “And have since I started working for you.”

“Oh…” He looked back down at his coffee cup. I looked between him and my mostly empty cup, feeling my heart race. “Really?” he asked, searching for confirmation. I swallowed roughly before nodding lightly.

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Why didn’t you say anything before?”

“Uh, well, you’re sort of my boss,” I breathed out a laugh before shaking my head. “Little bad when it comes to serious things and don't want to lose this job or you… But I guess because I was fucking drunk last night and told you everything, I don’t care that much,” I rambled and rolled my eyes. I lifted my mug to my lips, only to be disappointed by cold coffee, which consisted mostly of grounds.

“You didn’t want to take a risk?” “Considering I was the first person you ever shared a bed with, Lesley, you shouldn’t preach to the choir.” I glanced at him. Lesley lifted his hands in defeat. I laughed lightly and shrugged. “Like I said, I didn’t want to lose you. So I didn’t want to take that risk.”

“You want to know what would have happened if you had taken that risk?”

“I think about all the outcomes… Mostly the bad because that always happens to me,” I laughed again.

“I would have told you I loved you too,” Lesley said as he reached across the table. I looked down at my hands just as his clasped over mine. I stared at them for a moment before looking up at him.

“Really?” I asked for confirmation.

“Yeah.”

{***}{***}{***}

if you have any comments about this one-shot, let me know here i'd love to hear what you thought!

#shadow writes stuff #shadow posts stuff #matthew gray gubler imagine #matthew gray gubler #matthew gray gubler fanfiction #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler smut #matthew gray gubler oneshot

59 notes · View notes

quicksilverownsmysoul · 3 years

Text

13 Going on 30 pt. 3

A Peter Maximoff x reader fanfic based off the movie 13 going on 30

Summary: You are so excited when the most popular girl in your school agrees to come to your 13th birthday party. But after a cruel prank you find yourself wishing that you were popular and older. By some miracle your wish is granted but isn’t as wonderful as it seems. You turn out to be a major jerk and you don't even talk to your best friend Peter anymore. Can you fix everything and get back to normal or are you stuck living like this forever

Warnings: Angst, Some suggestive content, But it’s mostly pure fluff. (Also Peter has no powers in this fic, and some scenes will be changed to fit Peter and his personality and so I can be creative with it!)

Word Count: 2103

Peter thought it was safe to say that adult life sucked. And it wasn't just because he had run out of lucky charms this morning and had to settle for something called shredded wheat that was hidden away in the back of the panty. They were gross and tasted like cardboard, but Peter was all out of groceries so this would have to do.

No nothing had seemed to go right for him after high school, he went to college, (even though he spent most of the time partying and goofing off), got the degree and yet he was barely scraping by. But he couldn't complain, all that much at least. He enjoyed his job and even if at times it was hard to earn money he wouldn't trade it for the world. He had fallen in love with photography in freshman year and decided to major in it. He had a minor in business too, something you had always told him would be useful as a backup. You were always practical like that, making sure he never completely fell over the edge. But he was hesitant to use it, because in using that minor it kinda meant he was giving up his dream. Giving in to the regular, soul crossing 9 to 5 job that everyone seemed to have. Peter was a dreamer at heart, in a way it would kill him to do anything other than photography.

He ate a spoonful of his cereal, making a face at the dull taste. Chewing, he glanced over at the stack of bills littering the counter. A lot of them were piling up, sooner or later he may have to give into the normalcy of a business job. Work had been slow lately and very boring. More often than not people hired him to take photos for their weddings or graduation, simple stuff. Stuff that had him bored out of his mind. But there were no clients currently so until he got one he had all the time in the world to himself. Which he loved at first but now it seems he was falling into a bit of a routine.

Peter aimlessly wandered around the kitchen lost in thought, his eyes drifted toward the collection of pictures pinned to his fridge. There was a picture of you on there, from before you had cut him out of your life. Peter set the bowl down on the counter and gently lifted the magnet to pull the picture off. It was a polaroid of you two, You had your arms wrapped around Peter’s shoulders, hugging him from behind. His hands were resting on yours, you both were smiling, teeth missing.

This picture was from the first day of first grade. Even back then Peter had had some feelings for you. And the way his eyes looked at you and not the camera was proof of this. Peter ran his thumb gently over the faded picture, for a moment he let himself wonder about how you were doing, before he snapped himself out of it. He put the picture back in its place and picked his bowl back up. It was too early to be having thoughts like that.

Peter yawned and lazily plopped down on his worn out sofa, flipping through the channels on the tv. There was nothing on, signing he threw out the rest of his cereal, it had gotten soggy while he was busy reminiscing. He dropped the empty bowl into the sink, only adding to the collection of unwashed dishes. He glanced over at the phone and the soft blinking of the red light, indicating he had voicemails he hadn't listened to yet. He knew he was going to have to take her calls sooner or later but right now he didn't want to deal with her.

He headed to the park and decided to do some laps on the path, running always helped him to relax and clear his head. He always got stares and shy smiles from the women that were jogging, he found out that apparently the silver hair that everyone made fun of him for was very attractive to women now. Something he used to use to his advantage to pick up the occasional hook up.

After that he went to go get groceries and then played on his pacman machine until lunchtime. He totally knew how to spend his time. He made his way over to the kitchen and looked at all the new groceries he had bought. Twinkies, instant ramen, mac and cheese, he picked up the box of lucky charms, weighing the option of eating it for lunch. He thought better of it and put it back on the shelf, he really needed to eat healthier, god knows sooner or later his metabolism was going to give out.

He picked up the phone and placed an order form the Chinese place a couple blocks away, ordering way more food than he needed. That way he wouldn't have to cook for the next few meals. Peter was inherently lazy and cooking was not something he was very good at. So when he would he just ordered takeout and leftovers so he could eat them later. He hung up the phone and walked over to the fridge and took out the milk, drinking it straight for the carton, while he was doing that he heard a loud knock on the door. “That was quick.” The knocking continued non stop over and over, “I’m coming hold on!” He yelled out as he shuffled to the door and opened it peering through the opening that the chain allowed. “You know it’s rude to-'' The words died in his throat. There was a woman standing at his door, wearing a coat over her night dress.

*******************************************************

You hadn't been able to pay attention to the briefing your boss gave, your assistant came in about half way through and handed you a small slip of paper. She said that she had found Peter’s address like you had asked. You had pulled her into a hug, creating an awkward tension in the room. The meeting had seemed to go on forever, and for the life of you you couldn't even remember what it was about. As soon as the meeting ended you had bolted out the door, ignoring the calls of your boss and colleagues telling you that work wasn't over yet.

You had found his apartment after randomly asking strangers in the street which way it was. You were at his door, the number on it hanging lopsided. You began to rapidly knock until the door was pulled open. “You know it’s rude to-”

He paused as he saw you staring at him. He furrowed his brows in confusion. “You’re not the chinese delivery guy.”

You felt your eyes widen as you took him in. “Peter?” You asked in a small voice.

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at you. “Yeah?”

You let out a sigh of relief, smiling. “You’re tall.” You looked him up and down. “And you’re so handsome.”

His face turned red at your words. He didn't even know who this random woman was that was standing here, telling him he was handsome. He leaned against the doorframe, taking another drink out of the carton. “I’m sorry do- do I know you?”

He watched your face fall. “You don’t know me?”

“No?” He said, wiping the dribbling milk off his chin. Even after all these years his mannerisms were the same.

“Wait! “ You said rushing forward. He jumped slightly at the sudden action. “It’s me, I saw you yesterday. Well I was thirteen yesterday so I guess it wasn't yesterday. Because now i'm old and I don't know where I am-” Peter watched you ramble on and slowly began to close the door. You continued on. “But you were there at my party-”

Peter paused, squinting his eyes and looking at you closely.. “(Y/n)?” He asked hesitantly, reopening the door as much as the chain would allow. “(y/n) (y/l/n)?” You smiled wide at him.

“Yes! Yes it’s me!”

Peter slammed the door shut in your face. You heard him unlock all the locks on his side of the door, when he was down he swung the door open. “Hey.” he gave you a small smile. You lunged at him and tackled him in a hug, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck. He just stood there frozen, slowly moving his free hand up to awkwardly pat you on the back. “Come in I guess.” He muttered.

You pulled back smiling at him. Even after all this time your sweet smile could make his heart skip a beat. You looked around his small apartment taking it all in. Peter did his best to kick discarded clothes into the closet, and keep you from seeing what a mess it was. You looked along his walls to see framed pictures of portraits and beautiful landscapes. “Are you still taking pictures?” You asked,

“Uh yeah, they pay the bills.” He quickly grabbed the pile of unpaid bills, stuffing them behind the couch cushion. “Usually.” He muttered under his breath. You were pacing around his apartment, in confused circles. He nervously rubbed the nape of his neck. “Hey, (y/n) I don't wanna be rude but why are you here?”

“Petey I told you.” You said moving closer to him, he let out a little laugh.

“Petey wow, no one has called me that in ages.”

“Petey listen I came here cause something really weird is happening. Yesterday was my 13th birthday and then today I woke up and I’m this!” You said gesturing to your body. Peter tried his best not to look you up and down, he couldn't deny that you had grown up well. You were even more beautiful than he remembered. “And you’re that!” You said gesturing towards him.

Peter looked down at himself self consciously. “Gee thanks. Do I really look that bad?”

“No!” You quickly said. You felt yourself blush as you looked him over. His hair was tousled and messy, he was wearing an oversized pink floyd crop top and from the looks of the hem it seemed he had made it himself. You watched the veins in his hands ripple and his arms slightly flex. “Uh you,” You let out an embarrassed laugh. “You actually look really good, like really good.”

Peter flushed at your words and turned away so you couldn't see his blushing face. “Wow.” He whispered under his breath, he lifted a hand up to his face, doing his best to hide the smile that was forming. He turned back to and regained a serious composure. “Are you sure you're okay (y/n).” He took in your mismatched outfit and broken heel. “Are you high? Have you been smoking pot? Doing drugs, cause if you are I’m not judging as long as it’s just weed or something. Cause I mean I get it, I get stressed to and every now and then need-”

“No, no.” You said shaking your head rapidly. “Wait do you do-,” You lowered your voice to a whisper. “Do you do drugs Peter?”

“No! No.” Peter shrugged. “Ehhh well not drugs, just weed.” He defended. But looking at your judgmental eyes he quickly continued on. “And I don’t, well I don’t that much any more. It was in college you know how it was.”

“Actually I don’t.” You moved even closer to him. “Look, I was sitting in my closet, and I- I skipped everything. I can’t- I can’t remember my life.” Your eyes were watery as you started back at him. His heart ached seeing you like this. You continued on. ‘You need to help me remember my life.”

At this he scoffed, and pretended to look around as if you were referring to someone else. “Me?” he said pointing to himself, letting out an airy laugh. “That’s rich.”

“What why?” He let out another laugh at your response, this one was dry. He looked at your face and saw that you weren’t kidding, you were serious about asking for his help.

“(Y/n) I can’t.” He was in disbelief, did you seriously have no idea what you had done to him. “I don’t know anything about you. I haven't seen you since high school.” Your face morphed into one of confusion.

“What?”

What he said next pained him, and he couldn’t bring himself to look you in the eyes. “(Y/n). We’re not friends anymore.”

You felt your heart shatter into a million pieces. “What?”

Taglist:

@lets-imagine-fanfics @steamboat-local @weasly-twin-simp

Let me know if you want to be added!!

140 notes · View notes

monoxiid · 3 years

Note

can i request for first date headcanons for any blue lock boys of your choice 🥺 im so glad more people wanna write for it

of course, honey! ^^ ❤️ it's true that blue lock content is rare 😔— anyway, thankchu for requesting! hope u like the characters i chose :›

⋮☰ ┋ 𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 : headcanons about the first date of some blue lock characters ⌕

⋮☰ ┋ 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 : Bachira Meguru、Nagi Seishiro ⌕

⋮☰ ┋ 𝐓𝐇𝐄̀𝐌𝐄 : fluff ⌕

⋮☰ ┋ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 : probably a lot of mistakes of all kinds, lightness of content? ⌕

(well, help me to find an appropriate aesthetic-)

⠀⠀‘ ℬ𝒶𝒸𝒽𝒾𝓇𝒶 ℳℯℊ𝓊𝓇𝓊 ’ :

┃Meguru will be so excited!! You'll probably be his first girlfriend because of ... you know, his somewhat complicated childhood. Obviously, to be his partner, you would surely be someone who accepts him despite his faults, and who recognizes his qualities. He will be infinitely grateful to you for that, and the first way to show it to you will be to take you to its favorite places in the city!

┃The dark haired boy is an energetic person, naturally he will push you to be the same, pulling you out as soon as he can. He will introduce you to his friends -especially Isagi- with this proud smile on the lips. Meguru feels happy to have a girlfriend to take care of, to play video games with, but also to show off his football skills!

┃Yes, a lot of football dates. He won't hesitate to tell you if he thinks you're not good with a ball, thanks to his honest self, but it is with patience and pleasure that he will teach you how to play.

❛❛ And this is another goal from the striker Bachira Megury, what a man!!!

—I leave.

— (y/n) no—! ❜❜

┃He will not show the same enthusiasm to follow you in your own activities, but to thank you for agreeing to stay with him, he will stay with you as well. He will try as much as he can to be curious, to ask questions and to be interested in what you do, your hobbies ...

┃For an artistic s / o, he will obviously be titillated, his mother does art and it is sure that Bachira is no less creative than her. I can see him accompanying you in your painting sessions, or posing as a model for one of your drawings -not too long, though, he's a teenager who likes to move.

┃For someone as athletic as him, he will be equally happy. He will absolutely learn to play the sport you practice, go to your performances, matches etc ... and watch your training, the first to cheer you on without shame! If it's something like dancing, he'll totally be the type to carry you and turn with you in his arms.

❛❛ You see? I do the same as you!

— Ahah, you should think about converting to a dancer, then!

— I don't think that's a good idea ... Wait a minute!

— I was jok—! ❜❜

┃If you do things like team sport, he'll be more in his comfort zone, and learn to do like you faster! He will get to know your team, play with you, learn the rules...No matter what sport you play, he will act the same, with interest, because you are his girlfriend and he want to be there for you, with you.

┃If you don't even play sports, or you don't really do activities that he will be comfortable with, then maybe even better! It will be an opportunity for both of you to discover new things together and to test new experiences, without one to teach the other, just the two of you at the same level. It seems funny, isn't it?

┃The first date will probably be chaotic, Meguru will take you to any place that crosses his mind, and leave the unfinished behind, but all he wants is for you to familiarize yourself with his world, and to familiarize himself with yours.

⠀⠀‘ 𝒩𝒶ℊ𝒾 𝒮ℯ𝒾𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓇ℴ ’ :

┃👏date👏inside 👏

┃For the first time, it will be really simple, probably Seishiro pulling you into his house after school. And cuddles, that's all. Not even video games, not even televisions, screens, chatting, just the two of you cuddling on his bed. And always a nap that could take time.

┃Take advantage of Reo's money? Take advantage of Reo's money. But only sometimes, because Nagi is never for expensive and luxurious things. He prefers sofa to caviar, logical coming from someone like him.

┃But, being a soccer fan, it makes sense that if you ask him, he won't refuse to come out to shoot the ball a bit. He's not going to take it easy with you, though. If he's easier to block, it's only because of his incredible laziness, sorry.

┃As for your hobbies, he will only be interested if you mention them, he will not join you -or rarely- but will accept with pleasure to watch you. You are his girlfriend, he will make exceptions.

┃But the majority of the time, your dates will consist of you finding yourself on the couch, arms in each other, on your phones, talking to each other, even if it can end in a monologue. He's not very talkative, but absolutely loves it when you're having a conversation on your own without necessarily responding. He could listen to your voice for hours, and even fall asleep more easily with it.

┃If you like video games, he will be happy to play with you. He could be a bad player if you win, but he still enjoys these common moments that you both have. Obviously, he will be the first to taunt you if you win.

❛❛Oh, I won again. Strange, I thought you were the best at this game, (y / n) ...

—Sh-shut up! I'll take back control!!

— Ahah, of course, darling. ❜❜

┃He doesn't care that you don't want to go out, he will always agree with you on this point but sometimes he doubts himself and thinks that you would have had enough of him, who never takes you in places as fancy as Reo could, so sometimes he'll invite you to a restaurant. But it's not hard to see that he's not in his element, and you should quickly figure out what's going on. Seishiro will be relieved to hear you say that you don't care about the superfluous, that what you love is to be with him, no matter where you are.

❛❛ Oh my god, you are so sweet. I dunno what to say. ❜❜

#blue lock #blue lock x reader #bllk #bllk x reader #meguru bachira #bachira meguru #bachira meguru x reader #meguru bachira x reader #nagi seishirou #nagi seishirō #seishiro nagi #seishiro nagi x reader #nagi seishiro x reader #🎐.bookstore

223 notes · View notes

nastybuckybarnes · 4 years

Text

Monsters - Three

Pairing: Dark!Bucky X Reader

Summary: Bucky Barnes is a man who just wants to do better. But he can’t stop the monster from coming out every now and then. As a last and hopeless attempt at calming The Winter Soldier, SHIELD finds him something they figured would help. An innocent young woman with not a lot going for her. Or, The Winter Soldiers newest victim.

Warnings: Angst, Violence, Language, Injuries, INTENSE SMUT (NONCON), GUNPLAY, HUMILIATION, DEGRADATION, NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART, Major MENTAL HEALTH TRIGGER,

Word Count: 3.5K

A/n: Oof sorry. This is dark as fuck. it’s really triggering. If you complain I will block you because I have many warnings in place. This is a very triggering chapter that involves very sensitive and triggering topics so read at your own damn risk!

THIS IS A DARK FIC WITH SEXUAL AND TRIGGERING CONTENT!!!

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER!! READ AT OWN RISK!!

~*~

He doesn’t look at you the next morning.

You’re thankful for that because you don’t think you’d be able to withstand seeing him without crying.

Your neck is dark and covered in bruises, and your wrists look no better, the skin discoloured to a near-black colour. It hurts to breathe, to walk. Your lower regions burning with each step you take. You’re part glad he doesn’t look at you, but you’re also frustrated.

He said he wasn’t a monster and yet look what he’s done to you. Your body is broken and bruised and beat badly, and he doesn’t even have the stomach to look at the damage he’s caused.

You stay in your room for most of the day anyway, in far too much pain to venture anywhere except the kitchen for a glass of water which does little to soothe the burn in your throat.

As you sit there, alone on the mattress that holds disgusting memories, you ponder what Fury said yesterday about the fine print in the email. Surely you would have seen any more writing. You wouldn’t have just accepted the position without being properly informed of everything that you were going to have to do.

But it seems to be too late. If last night was any indication of your fate, you almost understand why they gave you little to no warning.

He was barbaric. Brutally taking advantage of your body, and thwarting your attempts to get him to be gentler.

A knock on your door startles you from your thoughts. It opens quietly and the man who’s been occupying your thoughts walks in with his head down.

“I uh... I brought you some soup. You haven’t eaten all day.” You stare at the steaming bowl held in his metal hand. The same hand that crushed your wrists.

“I’m not hungry,” you tell him, voice barely above a whisper. He looks up at you and swallows hard, eyes zeroing in on the dark marks on your neck. He lets out a shuddering breath and nods.

He opens his mouth to speak but snaps it closed again, setting the bowl down on the dresser then leaving the room.

The soldier doesn’t come to you that night.

Or the night after.

On the fourth day, three nights of him not coming to you, you finally venture out of your room. You nearly run right into his chest as he opens the door to talk to you. He grabs your waist to stop you from toppling over then pulls back as if you’ve scalded him.

“I’ve got a mission briefing to go to. I’ll be gone for most of the day,” he informs you, voice hard and emotionless. You simply nod and watch as he leaves the house in a hurry. When you’re sure he’s gone, you creep down the stairs and into the kitchen, stomach cramping for food.

You find a few pieces of bread and some crackers on the counter, along with a note that says ‘Dinner will be ready shortly after I get home.” You take the crackers and shovel them into your mouth, not caring about how much they dry your throat. They go down like sandpaper, and you wash them down with a glass of water, finally silencing your growling stomach.

With the house to yourself, you explore, your feet taking you to another bedroom upstairs.

It must be his, you realize, eyes finding a small, leather-bound notebook. You look around the room quickly then snatch the book up and sit down on his bed, eyes devouring the words scrawled carelessly on the pages.

Horror fills you as you read, each page giving detailed descriptions of the horrible things this man has done.

You find yourself terrified for your life once more as you realize just how quickly he could end it. It would simply be another life to him, nothing he cares about considering how many he’s taken already.

You put the book back and leave the room, running to the front door and banging on it mercilessly, hoping to catch the attention of someone passing by.

~*~

“Tincan!” Bucky groans and looks up as Tony walks to him. “Relax. I’ve got a gift for you.” He hands over a tablet and Bucky furrows his brows in confusion.

“So you can watch your little pet. I hooked it up to all the cameras in your house, so you can keep tabs on her. Before you ask, Fury’s not all that good at keeping secrets.” Bucky makes a mental note to talk to Fury about keeping this off the radar, but for now, he’s curious to see what you’re doing.

He accepts the tablet with a soft ‘thank you’ then quickly turns it on, flipping through the different camera feeds until he finds you.

You’re banging a lamp from your bedside table against a window in your room, tears on your cheeks. You look hopeless.

He toys around with the tablet for a while until he finds a rewind button, wanting to know what has you so desperately wanting to escape.

He stops it from rewinding when he sees you sitting on his bed, his journal in your lap.

The pieces click into place and he shakes his head, angry that you would invade his privacy like that and pissed at himself for not putting it away.

“Listen Stark, I’ll come back later to be briefed. I’ve gotta go... deal with something.” Tony nods and watches as Bucky walks away, his heart aching for you but he knows that there’s nothing he can do to help you.

Bucky pulls up to the house and throws the front door open, the ride over giving him plenty of time to stew in his anger.

He slams the door shut behind himself and stomps up the stairs to your room, kicking the door open and staring at you. You hold the lamp tightly in your grasp and turn to him slowly, terrified at the dark look in his eyes.

“You need to learn some respect!” He spits the word and marches over to you, grabbing the lamp with his left hand when you swing it at him. He throws it to the ground and grabs you by the jaw, tossing you onto the bed. You crawl backwards, shaking your head at him desperately.

He grabs your ankle and yanks you down the bed, then flips you onto your stomach. He tears your pants and panties down your legs and starts slapping your ass. Hard.

You scream in pain as he punishes you, slapping again and again and again, each one being harder than the last.

By the time he finally lets up, your ass is on fire, skin bruised and burning. He grabs you by the hair and tugs, forcing you up onto your hands and knees.

You’re trembling on the bed, terrified of what he’s going to do to you.

“You’ve been bad,” he whispers, dragging something cool across the skin of your ass. You subconsciously lean into the soothing touch and he chuckles.

“You read something you weren’t supposed to. You went snooping into my business.” He rips you up by your hair so that you’re right beside him, head leaning back on his shoulder. “Don't you ever fucking touch my stuff again.” The words are whispered but the threat is shouted, and you find yourself nodding quickly. He shoves you back down onto the bed but keeps your hips raised.

Something cool and blunt is pressing against your entrance and you jolt away, yelping when he smacks your ass again.

“You’re gonna fuck yourself on my gun, or I’m gonna make you wish you were dead, understood?” You feel absolutely humiliated, blood running cold as he presses the gun into your cunt, your warm walls clinging to the metal as he slowly pumps it in and out of you. He stops for a moment and you hear the weapon click.

“Safety’s off. Now fuck yourself on it. And then maybe I won’t hurt you.” You jump on the opportunity of not getting hurt anymore and start slowly thrusting your hips backwards. You hate it. You hate how good it feels. You hate how he’s humiliating you and you’re enjoying it. Your body betrays you with each thrust of your hips. Slick gathers between your thighs and drips down onto the mattress while you fuck yourself on his gun.

“Such a fucking whore. Fucking yourself of my Glock. Gettin’ all messy and wet. So fucking desperate for something to fill that cunt of yours that you’ll fuck anything.” His words crack your pride, tears stinging your eyes as you continue to rock your hips.

“Fuck yourself faster, slut. I wanna watch you cum.” That’s what makes you start to sob. The fact that not only is he watching you fuck yourself on his weapon of choice, but he’s going to force you to make yourself cum while doing so.

You rock your hips faster, squeezing your eyes shut as broken sobs leave your lips, the mortification nearly too much to bear. You just want to cum and have this all be over with.

Your clit brushes against the trigger guard and you jolt away from it before repeating the action. “Look at that. Such a stupid mindless slut, fucking yourself on a gun. You’re such a pathetic whore.” You hate it. You hate the names, the fact that he’s saying it out loud, bringing light to what you’re doing.

You risk a glance over your shoulder and feel the blood leave your face. If you weren’t appalled before, you certainly are now. He’s got his phone camera pointing at your most intimate area, filming you fucking yourself on his gun.

You hiccup a sob and press your face into the pillow, rocking your hips faster, hoping to get this over with.

“Look at that,” he murmurs, his hand already covered in your slick. You ignore him, rubbing your clit on the metal hard, toes curling as your orgasm approaches fast.

With a sound that’s half a moan and half a sob, you cum, cunt clenching hard on the metal.

He groans, watching as you lose your dignity on camera.

When your cunt stops pulsing, he pulls the gun out and slaps your ass.

“Face me,” he orders. You comply, eyes red and puffy, snot dripping from your nose and tears falling down your cheeks.

“You’re gonna suck this gun clean. If you leave one drop on here I’ll make you regret it.” You open your mouth and suck on it, licking off the taste of metal and your essence, trying not to cringe at how embarrassing it is.

Bucky holds the camera up to your face, and what little dignity you had left is crushed.

“Look at how worthless you are. Such a pathetic slut.” You suck harder, wanting to get the gun clean so you can end this torture. You’d rather have him physically hurt you. This... this mental abuse? It’s far worse.

He pulls the gun out of your mouth and nods, shedding himself of his pants and boxers then sitting on the bed, his back against the headboard. He motions with the gun to his cock and you sniffle, climbing onto his lap. You slowly lower yourself onto him and he moans, aiming the camera at where your abused pussy is taking every inch of him.

“You’re gonna fuck yourself on my cock just like you did on my gun. Understand?” he presses the barrel of the gun to your temple and your bottom lip wobbles.

“Cry all you want, skank. As long as you make me cum.” You squeeze your eyes shut tightly and raise yourself off of his cock, only to drop down on him again. He groans and watches through hooded eyes as you ride him, darkness filling his eyes as he presses the gun harder into your head, finger hovering over the trigger.

“Faster!” He shouts, grinning at the way you flinch. You start bouncing up and down on his lap, the squelching sound of his cock in your soaked pussy making you burn with shame.

Your legs ache, your injured thigh on fire as you continue to use it in a way that you really shouldn't. You fuck him hard and fast, praying to any and every god available that this ends soon.

He moans loudly, thrusting up to meet you, and you cry out in pain. The tears won't stop, they drip down your face and splatter onto his chest, but he doesn't seem to mind. In fact, it spurs him on. He brings the camera up and focuses on your face, watching the way you sob and cry, humiliation clear as day on your face.

“Oh fuck!” His thrusts stutter before he stills, and you follow, staying seated on his cock as loud sobs tear out of your chest.

“Get off and lay on your stomach, ass up. I wanna see how wrecked you look.” You do as he says, nearly choking on your own snot as you press your face into the bed again.

“Look at that,” he whispers, the camera zooming in to capture the way he’s abused you. Your cunt is swollen, all puffy and red, and cum oozes out and over your engorged clit. He tosses the gun aside and smacks you hard, right on your centre.

You jump away from the pain, but he doesn't stop. He slaps your pussy over and over again, catching your clit and sending you spiralling in pain. He doesn’t stop until your shrieking and your cunt looks as abused as your ass.

“Have you learned your lesson?” He asks, the camera staying on your pussy as it flutters and clenches, clit throbbing almost visibly.

“Yes,” you whisper. He slaps your cunt again and you scream.

“Yes what?” He demands. This is new. You’re not quite sure what to call him, but another harsh slap against your clit has you screaming the first thing that comes to mind.

“Yes sir!” He seems to like that.

“Good. Now fucking clean yourself before I make you dirtier.” You don’t wanna know what he means by that, and he doesn't give you a chance to think too hard on it before he’s leaving the room, stopping the gun off the ground and flicking the safety back on.

You hear him stomp out of the house, the door slamming hard enough to shake the whole house. Your heart races and your tears don’t stop. The humiliation and mental abuse that he just put you through has you trembling, anxiety skyrocketing.

You haul yourself off of the bed and stumble to the shower, turning the water on as hot as you can handle, then hotter still, determined to burn the feeling of his hands off of your skin.

You stand sobbing under the spray for a long time, long enough for his seed to drip down your leg and get washed down the drain. The thought of having any part of him in your body makes you feel sick, and you grab the showerhead. You switch the setting to a more powerful one then press it to your core, determined to wash him out of you.

The heat of the water scalds you, and it burns like a bitch, but you don’t care. You’ll endure any pain to get the feeling of him out of you.

Finally, after nearly ten minutes of washing yourself out, you switch the setting back to normal and stand under the spray, shivering despite the hot water.

You feel hopeless. And absolutely terrified. He hurt you. Mentally and physically. There’s no escape. Nothing for you to do. You’re stuck here. Trapped. Just like Fury said. THere’s no way they’ll let you out now, not with the way he’s treated you. You’re sure of it.

An idea pops into your head and you slowly open your eyes.

Maybe you’re not as trapped as you thought.

You hobble out of the shower and into your bedroom, grabbing the glass of water off of your bedside table.

When you’re back in the bathroom, you smash the glass against the counter, tears continuing to fall silently, although you feel less overwhelmed now that you have a plan.

You grab a large shard of glass then get into the shower, sitting down in the corner under the warm spray of water.

With two deep breaths, you press the glass to the inside of your wrist, wincing as you push down against your bruises. You drag the sharp shard up towards your elbow, closing your eyes for a moment as blood spills out quickly. You slice another, cleaner line, up from your wrist to your elbow, then repeat the process on your other arm.

You lean your head back against the tiled wall and let out a few shuddering breaths, basking in the warm water as your body slowly starts to get colder.

Bucky sits in the briefing room, feeling guilty about what he did to you. He had a point to prove, but he thinks he took it a tad too far.

If the dead look in your eyes is anything to go by, then he absolutely took it too far.

On the drive to the compound, he found it nearly impossible to keep his eyes off of the tablet, hungry to see what you would do and how you would react. He’s disappointed but not surprised at the fact that you tried to wash your body clean of him, inside and out.

But now in the briefing room, Steve drones on and on about a potential threat and yada yada ya. Bucky just wants to check on you, make sure you’re not hurt too bad. See how you’re reacting to his... extreme punishment.

With a glance down, he pulls the tablet out of his jacket and holds it under the table, eyes looking up to see if anyone’s noticed. They’re all focused on their captain, the same way he should be. But he’s not. He can’t help the gnawing feeling in his gut that he needs to check on you. He flicks through the cameras, stopping when he gets to the one in the shower.

He tries to be inconspicuous about it, but he struggles when he sees you sitting in the corner, not moving. After a closer look, he sees the puddle of red that’s slowly seeping down the drain.

Blood. And lot’s of it.

He stands up abruptly and all eyes turn to him.

“I’ve gotta go,” he mumbles, shoving the tablet back into his jacket then running out of the room. He drives fast. Fast and reckless, but he’s afraid. Why? Because if you die, it’s his fault.

He doesn’t know where the blood is coming from, but he hopes to god it’s not anything he physically inflicted.

He takes the stairs three at a time, shoving open the bathroom door in your room and ripping open the shower door. You’re sitting there, skin dull and eyes closed while red pumps from your arms.

“Fuck,” he whispers, grabbing your arms and pulling you out of the shower. You whimper, eyes moving slowly beneath closed lids.

He grabs a towel and presses it to your arms, then digs through the cabinets in search of a first aid kit.

His hands shake just the slightest bit as he wraps your arms tightly in gauze, slowing the blood flow. His heart clenches as he sees the bruises on your wrists, the ones he gave you.

Maybe he is a monster.

“Hmm... no...” you whisper, pushing against him weakly. He looks down and finds your eyes staring up at him, slightly glazed over.

“No,” you whisper again, this time stronger.

“No!” You shout, struggling out of his lap.

“How could you?! Why?! Why couldn't you just let me die?! Haven't you hurt me enough?!” He swallows hard and holds your arms tightly, stopping you from hurting yourself more.

“Calm down. Please. I’m gonna dry you off and put you to bed. I won’t hurt you, I promise.” You shake your head then instantly regret it, feeling dizzy and weak.

He scoops you up in his arms and carries you into your bedroom, stopping when he sees the wrecked sheets. He glances at you and your trembling body then brings you into his bedroom. He sets you down on the bed then runs and gets a towel, drying you off quickly. Your teeth continue to chatter even after he’s dressed you in a sweatshirt of his and a pair of sweatpants.

He tucks you under the blankets then scoots in bed next to you, hoping the high temperature of his body does something to warm you up.

You fall asleep rather quickly, body and mind exhausted from the traumatic events of the day, and Bucky feels himself being quickly overcome with guilt.

He did this to you. He let himself go, far too much. The monster within clawed it’s way out. He took out his aggression and anger on you when he should’ve just punished you lightly. He broke you, right down to your soul. And he’s not sure how or if he can fix you.

~*~

786 notes · View notes

prettyboykatsuki · 3 years

Note

NO BUT FR I get so fucking tired of degradation and impact play and DADDY KINK showing up with absolutely no goddamn warning like. Tag ur shit pls dear god 😭😭😭 AND IT FEELS LIKE HALF THE TIME WHEN PEOPLE TAG PRAISE KINK ITS JOINED WITH UNTAGGED DEGRADATION AND IM JUST LIKE🧍I DONT WANT THISSSS literally when I see praise kink and no degradation tag I do NOT wanna be called a slut I am expecting absolute worship

This is probably a silly complaint but personally I’m a SUPER vanilla person and its almost disheartening to me to not be able to find vanilla smut??? Like ik writing vanilla pwp probably gets suuuuuper boring eventually, plus fiction obvi is a great way to just mess around and have fun and so I totally understand why kinky stuff is far more prevalent among smut blogs but like. It’s concerning to see degradation n stuff so normalized? Esp bc the vast majority of fics don’t go into discussions abt safewords and hard limits etc beforehand or aftercare on the tail end both of which are. Super fucking important with that shit (again, I get why, people writing & reading pwp don’t rlly wanna halt the action for that stuff and it’s fiction so it doesn’t really matter but it’s still important!). I just think abt people who r starting to explore their sexuality through smut and all they find is fucking. Degradation and hardcore impact play and power imbalances, all largely untagged bc it’s so prevalent and apparently the fandom thinks that’s what vanilla is

(And for the record, I’m not just a reader complaining abt this shit, I write what I wanna read and that’s. 10k words of buildup to sweet romantic sex at the very end KFBFKSBD I’m doing my part not just bitching abt others not catering to my whims dw) But I absolutely understand how many authors who focus on pwp end up like. Relying on kinkiness to have more variety esp when it’s smut blogs that churn out quality content daily. I just wish people would understand that tagging is rlly sooooo important even if u don’t see other authors tagging a specific thing

Anyway all that aside absolutely do post ur femdom stuff here! It’s ur blog and we’re all here bc we like ur writing yanno. It’s rlly awful that people give u shit for it but like. Ultimately u should be writing what u want. Block those dickheads and move on yanno?

HEJKFDKDSJLJF PLEASE

i’ve gone on so many rants about this in the past so i simply will not go onto another tangent but esentially - i think there are a few reasons it gets super normalized outside of it being popular but in general it’s just one of those things that happens and you deal with as you’re online.

honestly, a lot of tumblrs kink writing boils down to the greater issue of what i like to call “internet kink” which is so deeply far removed from actually bdsm LMAO and i understand it more n the context of writing fiction but broadly speaking like.. the internet has a truly odd idea of what sex constitutes i think and it can be p damaging to never address

writer what you want! enjoy what you want! im literally a sadist and i spend so much of my day reading hentai comics it’s insane. but like idk.. there’s something to be said about the normalization of hard degradation and heavy kink play with no aftercare in online spaces. like no tags just raw-dog right there in the world lmao. as a psa to anyone who is a virgin or really anyone inexperienced who needs to hear it again

it’s completely okay if you have no interest in kinky content or sex. it’s normal to be vanilla and you shouldn’t feel any shame for that. you’re not boring. sex is fun because of your chemistry with your partner and you do not need any extra bells and whistles if you don’t want them.

#return to sender #sex ed #ur valid anon #discourse cw #<- just in case

40 notes · View notes

skaylanphear · 3 years

Note

Hi there! Do you have any advice on improving traction towards a fanwork/fic? I love writing—and it's not for notoriety by any means—but having validation and feedback also feels nice (I hope that's not conceited). What would you recommend to someone without a large audience/follower base? I do "advertise" on tumblr when my work is written/updated on AO3. How did your journey start? Thank you!

This is an interesting question and I doubt most people are going to like the answers, but here we go:

So, first and foremost, you need to be realistic about why you're creating in the first place. If you're doing work in a fandom that is older, where content has stopped coming out, or that is simply smaller, you're not going to get much engagement, period. There will, of course, be activity in these fandoms, but it will be far less and the people involved—while they may view your work—will be less likely to comment/spread it around simply because there's not much going on. So if you're creating in that sort of environment (which can be a really good environment if you're looking for something chill with no pressure), then you have to be prepared for low engagement, even if the people you do meet and who are willing to talk about your work are more regularly in your sphere. You can probably make better/closer friends in these sorts of fandoms, if you're willing to try.

But, on the other end of this, if you're coming into a huge fandom late, it's also going to be harder to wade through the massive following to get your stuff out there. For example, in both the Miraculous and Sk8 fandom, I started work pretty early on, when the shows were still gaining traction, and so my "name" as a creator gained traction parallel to that growth, as opposed to when I started writing in the Voltron fandom. With Voltron, I came in super late and so what few fics I had that did gain traction took a lot longer to get there because people already had their fav content creators in the fandom, etc. It's not impossible to get popular in this situation—far from it—but it does take longer.

You'll also benefit from having finished works early on in a fandom's lifespan, at least with writing. This is because there's less competition for views and so more people will be filtered to your work, initially. This means that you have a better chance of getting those comments and kudos. Having a finished work increases this engagement because people look for finished works before works in progress. Generally, the length of a fic doesn't matter much for popularity, so long as it's DONE. When I was writing in the ML fandom, quite a few of my earlier fics were shorter, and they compete in popularity with my longer fics, because people care more about having a finished story, not a long story. That's why when it came to Only Practice Makes Perfect in the Sk8 fandom, I worked hard to get that shit done, because it was the most popular story I had in the fandom and I decided—like an idiot—to make it a long fic. Which, yeah, means people probably love it/remember it more in the long run, but if I hadn't finished it in 2 to 3 months, I'd have lost considerable traction as far as making a name within the fandom.

This leads into one of the most important points, if not THE MOST IMPORTANT point in gaining an audience—consistency. If you do want to be a successful creator, you Have To Be Consistent. This is the most difficult hurdle for all creators, and it is oftentimes impossible to make happen. If you want to aim for professionalism, which a lot of fandom creators don't care about (which is fine), then consistency is how you get there. Nobody wants to read a fic or follow an artist who doesn't stick to creating what they start (RIP all my unfinished works and the people who left me as a result, LOL). Using my most recent works as an example, I very, very, very consistently updated Only Practice Makes Perfect multiple times a week. To the point where people got comfortable expecting it, which is the key variable here. When people become comfortable that you will regularly create content, they not only stick around, but will be more interactive with you and your work. Nobody likes the disappointment of getting involved with a work only for that work to rarely get updates. Most people don't have the attention span to care. I'll admit, if I read a fic that's not finished and the writer takes one week to update, then one week, then THREE weeks, I probably will, like, forget about it. That's just life.

The best thing you can do is schedule. And again, this is the HARDEST thing to do, because it holds the creator to a deadline. Most people who create in fandoms don't want that kind of pressure—and that's fine. I go back and forth on when I have scheduled releases and when I don't, depending on what I'm aiming to do. But if you to retain your audience, telling them that you will update a work regularly on such and such a day and such and such a time, it creates something for them to remember. If they're invested in your work, they will think, "oh, it's Friday, that means such and such is coming out with something new." But, with that in mind, you also have to commit to a schedule that people will remain invested in. Which basically means you can't put things out more than a week away from each other, unless you're really, really famous, lol. If I told people I was going to go on a two week update schedule, I would lose most of my audience. But a week is long enough for people to both still remember and anticipate. That's just how the scheduling of the world works. And if you're an artist that's working on a big project, then you have to share progress, or pieces of what you're doing on a regular basis. That's what generates "buzz" and keeps you relevant. And, yeah, that's a really hard schedule to commit to, because it's a lot of work. BUT this consistency is where you see people being successful. Popular youtubers may not have gained their popularity by being consistent, but most sure do retain it that way. And again, there are outlying exceptions, but they generally ARE exceptions.

Speaking of hard work, here's probably the second hardest thing to accomplish—you have to be prolific. Especially as a writer. You have to write A LOT if you want to gain an audience. And yeah, that means you have to work, a lot. I love my work, so I enjoy that "grind," and I also have developed a lot of strategies to work around writer's block and every other obstacle that tends to catch people up. I work in a very professional manner—I do outlines, and drafts, and plan. I do a lot of stuff that people who do this kind of thing for fun can't be bothered with (and that's fine), but that's because I find it to be what works best in creating an efficient environment. I'm also very, very NOT lazy, lol. I was raised in an environment where you have to work for everything that you want. My parents didn't buy me my first computer, or snowboard, or what have you. We were tight on money and if I wanted something, they couldn't help me—I had to get that shit on my own. And I also grew up on a farm, where hard work was a staple of how you did things. You did things the right way, even if it was the hard way. You can't cut corners and it's the same with this. If you want it, you have to actually do the work, that's it. Some people get lucky with popularity, most don't. Most famous actors didn't become well-known off their first efforts, they had to keep trying and keep working and then they have to continue to do that to stay relevant. So if that doesn't sound great to you, then you might want to not focus on your audience and just create because you enjoy it, lol. Sometimes that's what I do too, when I don't wanna deal with the pressure.

Moving on, here's another point that nobody is going to like. Simply put, you also have to be good at what you do. I think some people don't realize that I've been writing fic for over fifteen years. I currently have nearly 2 millions words worth of fics on AO3 and that doesn't include a majority of the stuff I've ever written. I practice A LOT. I write every day. And I'll tell ya, when I started out in middle school, my stuff was not good. But I worked hard, I ignored the hate, and I kept going. That is the only way you will ever get better at anything. There's no quick way to become a better writer, or artist. And a vast majority of people are only going to pay attention to your stuff if it's quality work. Getting to that point is a process, on top of then creating stuff that fits into popular molds. Not only am I good at what I do (and I don't care how arrogant that sounds—I've worked my ass off), but when it comes to fandoms, I rarely write "rare pairs" and "crack ships." Generally, if it's popular, that's where I am. That makes a big difference and I honestly don't have sympathy for people who write rare pairs and such and then complain about lack of engagement. You knew what you were getting into (it's mostly the Miraculous fandom that gave me this bitterness). If you're not writing what people WANT to read, then your audience is simply going to be smaller. And that audience doesn't owe you their attention, no matter how frustrating it is or how good your work is. I could be the best writer in the world, but if I'm writing RekixCherry fic, I have nobody to blame but myself when nobody reads it. BUT if that's your passion, and writing a certain unpopular thing makes you happy, then, again, you need to not be concerned with traction and your audience.

The last point I'll make is that it matters HOW you present yourself online. A good chunk of the well-known creators in any fandom are, simply put, older people. And those that aren't, and are able to connect with those older creators, have generally created a bubble around themselves of maturity and, like, of being nice, lol. A lot of creators are skittish these days, and if you're an asshole (anti) or fight a lot over stupid shit, you may get a bigger audience, but you will isolate yourself from other creators. And this is important because oftentimes it is your exposure to other creators that will get your work circulating. The reason I got popular in the ML fandom? I wrote a short angst fic and a really popular artist shared it/talked about it and the rest was history. But if I'd had a habit of being an asshole, probably wouldn't have happened. And, granted, I'm not saying don't voice your opinions, but if you're loud all the time, it does turn people off. Especially creators because they are oftentimes the ones being attacked. They don't want to pull more of that negative bullshit into their lives. I'll admit, when I was in the ML fandom, I was down for a fight, but then that's what people came to expect, and it probably did turn others off, and then when I didn't fight, or didn't think the way my audience thought I should, it, again, turned people off. It's really not worth it unless being that type of person IS your platform.

So, that's all the advice I can give, I suppose. And even if you do all this stuff, that still doesn't mean you're going to be popular. At the end of the day, the thing that I stick to is this—I do what I want, I love what I do, and I work hard. If I'm in a position to worry about all that other stuff, then sure, I do, but otherwise… There's no easy way to become popular and, quite frankly, it's better to just "live" working hard and being a decent person than it is to focus on all this bullshit. I've created a working environment where I function within these "points" quite naturally, so it's not something I think about (except for schedules, lol). Sometimes I get popular in fandoms, sometimes I don't. At the end of the day, it comes down to how much work you're willing to do, because you will always be giving more than you are getting back, so you have to at least enjoy what you're doing.

Seriously, just do it because you love it. And if the pressure of everything above is something you don't love (I like a good, high pressure situation, lol), then don't do it that way—it's not worth the grief.

#skaylanphear replies #anonymous

53 notes · View notes

tsukkisbean · 4 years

Text

haikyuu nsfw alphabet series | oikawa tōru

please block #claras steamys if you don’t want to see this type of content!!

warnings: sexual themes (bondage, power play), mentions of sex, fem!reader

a/n: (1) based on post time-skip!! (2) not edited (3) i debated about this for a long time let me know what your opinions are bc obviously these are headcanons!!

return to nsfw alphabet series masterlist

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

despite his “mr cool popular guy” exterior i think he would be a very gentle lover and thus great at after care. after sex, he’ll lay down with you for a little, gently stroking your cheek while you catch your breath. after he’ll grab two wash cloths, one cold one to wipe your forehead to help you cool down, one warm to wipe down your legs and what not and ofc water so you can rehydrate. once you’re both clean, he’ll slip a new shirt on you and you’ll cuddle while he gives you little kisses all over your face

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

on him his hands!! they’re long and slender and surprisingly pretty soft. loves when you mindless play with them, or better yet when you suck on them

your hips/thighs/legs!!!!! doesn’t matter where you guys are he’ll wanna attach himself to you in any sort of way. standing? hand on your hip. sitting, you bet one of his hands is running up and down your thigh giving it a squeeze every one in awhile!!!!

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

since he’s all about aftercare he doesn’t mind getting messy so he likes to cum on your tummy and spread it around, making a mess out of you and telling you how pretty you look :-)

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

when you’re not looking, he steals one of your panties to take back to his apartment with him. it happens so often that he probably has a collection at this point and you’re confused bc you keep running out of underwear lmao

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

has probably had a few casual partners before you, but nothing that’s lasted too long. knows the basics of how to get a girl off (and where the clit is thank god)

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

missionary but likes to have your legs over his shoulders. that way he can grip your thighs and fuck into you nice and deep and see your fucked out expression

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

definitely more serious. maaaaybe if something out of the ordinary happens he’ll try to make a joke out of it but that’s usually not the case

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

not bare, but not unkempt. probably trims it every once in awhile so it doesn’t get too wild

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

romantic!! will kiss you along the jawline and tell you how pretty you look all fucked up just for him. whispers sweet nothings in your ear and just makes you feel super loved and appreciated. unless he’s super needy or in a rush then he’ll literally just fuck you without saying much

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

asked you if he could record the two of you having sex on multiple occasions so now he has an album full of photos and videos of you to use when you’re not available

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

oikawa has an inferiority complex and although i think he’s learned how to control how he compares himself to others, it’s still there just not as prominent. so basically he loves anything that gives him a good confidence boost but top 3 are probably:

praise (receiving). this one is kind of obvious given the above but anything that tells him you’re having a good time. telling him how good it feels, moaning, clenching around him, tugging on his hair

i could definitely even see some power play. he loves it when you’re all desperate for him to fuck you but he won’t give it to you bc he’s milking the fact that he’s in control and you can’t do anything about it

going hand in hand with power play, bondage. likes to watch you struggle while you’re tied up just begging him to fuck you. knowing that he’s in control is a MAJOR ego booster

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

i don’t think he has a particular favourite. as long as it’s private enough and the two of you are comfortable that’s good enough for him

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

when you tell him that he’s the only person that can make you feel good. making the first move. confidence!! booster!! will take you right then and there

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

degradation (receiving). again with the whole inferiority thing i think he can’t let go of his pride and it’s just something he’d rather not bring into the bedroom.

threesomes. doesn’t wanna share you with anyone else or feel like someone else is making you feel better than he does

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

its probably 50/50 for him mainly because he has power in both positions. likes when you go down on him bc he can grab a fistful of your hair and control the pace. also thinks you look pretty when tears are streaming down your face while you’re basically choking on his dick

ask him to and he will go d o w n on you. wraps his arms around your thighs to lock you down and will just lap at your arousal until you cum but he won’t stop bc he enjoys your squirming and begging

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

will ask you what you want but is usually slow and sensual. like i said before he likes to make you feel loved, so he takes his time with you

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

doesn’t mind them but also not his favourite. he’ll go for a quickie if he has to but rather take his time with you

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Down for whatever you are, as long as you feel comfortable and you guys have a safe word in place

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

LOTS AND LOTS OF STAMINA. I think this goes for basically any haikyuu character just because they have to keep their fitness in check. Definitely can go for at least 3+ rounds if you can keep up. may need a small break in between but not long

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

probably something like handcuffs, and maybe a vibrator or two but prefers to use his own skills to get you off

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

lots!! will do shit like kiss your neck while you’re doing something simple like washing the dishes and pretend he didn’t when you look at him. or brush his fingers along your thighs when your shirt is a little too short and then tell you its YOUR fault for wearing that

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

not like freakishly loud, but not quiet either. probably close to speaking volume cause he wants you to know how good you feel. some grunting, and moaning, likes to say your name and swears a lot when he’s about to cum

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

when you guys meet up after being apart for a particularly long time, he’ll set up a bubble bath for you guys complete with rose petals and candles. he’ll turn on the weekend or a similar artist and you guys will just relax in the tub, drinking wine and catching up, stealing kisses here and there.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

definitely on the longer side, but girth wise is probably a little on the thinner side or average at best, definitely veiny

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

normal sex drive. with volleyball he’s learned to keep his emotions in check so it doesn’t interfere with his performance. but when you two are together he’s gonna wanna fuck at least once a day (with multiple rounds) before he has to leave you again

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

once after care is done, he’ll lay with you in his arms and cuddle you until you fall asleep. once he’s sure you’re asleep he’ll settle down before drifting off

#haikyuu smut #oikawa x reader #oikawa smut #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #claras steamys #clara click clacks

329 notes · View notes

txtdiaries · 3 years

Text

Void - Chapter Three

SUMMARY | Amidst your world shattering to pieces, the boy you met long ago manages to fit everything back together again. Also - zombies. Lots and lots of zombies.

PAIRING | Yeonjun X Reader feat. TXT

CATEGORY | apocalypse au, end of the world, survival, angst, romance, enemies to lovers, slow burn, etc.

WORD COUNT | 3.3k

WARNINGS | dark content, swearing, gore, weapon possession, etc.

A/N | So this hasn’t been proofread, but I hope there aren’t too many mistakes and u guys enjoy it anyway. Thanku for reading! <3

SONG REC | Wires - The Neighbourhood

Preview / Chapter One / Chapter Two / Chapter Three

The sun is dipping behind the horizon, colors melting against sky as the car rolls along the freeway. The majority of the younger boys are asleep in the car, it is silent, and Yeonjun is stressed out.

Of course, who wouldn’t be? He almost lost his life to something that looked like it walked straight off the set of The Walking Dead. And Yeonjun has never forgotten his weapon - ever. It’s in that moment that he knows.

He has to get rid of the girl sitting in the passenger seat. Soon.

The silence is uncomfortable as he drives. Neither is speaking, and even though he isn’t looking at her, he knows she isn’t asleep.

After a few minutes of the silence ticking along with the minutes, Yeonjun feels like he is going to burst. And then, finally, she speaks.

“Listen… uh- Yanjun-”

“My name is Yeonjun.” The older boy sneers, accent thickening as he enunciates his Korean name, still annoyed. He realizes just how annoyed he always is with her.

“Right, sorry! Yeonjun.” He stays quiet, letting her go on.

“I’m really sorry for what happened back there. I may have overreacted a little bit.”

Yeonjun scoffs as she continues, “And I just want to thank you for saving my life. I really appreciate it.”

The girl sticks her hand out as if he’s not driving, and after he gives it a side glance, she retracks it.

“Maybe we can be friends, you know, work together?”

Yeonjun almost swerves off the freeway at 90 MPH.

“Here’s how this is gonna work...” He searches her eyes for a second, noticing how she sits up straighter. She replies quickly with a, “Y/N.”

“Okay, Y/N, this isn’t some fucked up stockholm syndrome situation. I didn’t tie you up and throw you in the back of my Jeep because I thought you were too precious to save, and I definitely didn’t do it because I wanted you with us. I did it because it was the only option, got it?”

The girl blinks at him.

“It was the only option, and at this point you’re just deadweight to us now, okay? We aren’t going to work together, and we sure as hell aren’t going to be friends.”

It’s silent for a lot longer this time, before Yeonjun hears the girl reply back in a whisper, “If I’m just deadweight to you, why did you save me?”

“Jun, where are we?” Soobin grumbles suddenly from the backseat, stirring a bit as he starts to wake up.

“Just about there, Soobin. Go back to sleep.” Yeonjun replies as he pulls off of I-86 and into what seems like the local college town of the area. He decides to ignore the girl’s question as he turns on the radio. Of course, it’s just the low sound of static, but it’s better than listening to her questions again.

The farther Yeonjun drives into the town, the more he starts to notice the tattered college flags hanging from the unlit street lamps, and all of the broken windows in every building they pass. As he drives with caution, Yeonjun can tell how eerily quiet it is, apart from the radio. He spots the girl looking out the window, and decides to do the same, allowing himself to survey their surroundings.

A few home style diners and restaurants dot the blocks they pass, along with small gas stations (probably empty), and a few fast food places as well. The road guides him to a gentle curve, and then he realizes that he’s going in the direction of an underpass. For some insane reason he doesn’t completely understand, the lights along the inside leading to the other side are on, and they guide him to something that is shocking for him to see. The underpass opens back up at the end in a way Yeonjun can only feel like exiting a time machine would be. The tunnel cuts off, barren and with the walking path fences on either side rusted and destroyed.

But that’s not the part Yeonjun is paying attention to.

The buildings are breathtaking. They are old stone, brick, and clearly had been worked on to keep their vintage roots. One of the buildings on the right has huge archway windows on the second floor, which the moon reflects off beautifully. The street lamps are winded with decorative mistletoe, but the ribbons attached are tattered and almost black. Yeonjun sees what used to be bars, restaurants, all different colors. Green, red, and a pretty maroon color. He’s almost sad to see all of this - to get a glimpse of the real world back in front of him.

The farther he drives, the worse it gets. The town is beautiful, and he can only imagine how beautiful it used to be in the world before.

“This is old town.” The girl says softly from the passenger seat as Yeonjun approaches a huge park, even more trees on display and decorative lamps. He almost thinks he sees a fountain before he looks back at the girl.

“What did you say?”

“Old town. Like, downtown. The original one for the city.”

“How…” Yeonjun is surprised the girl knows as his curiosity intensifies.

“I uh… I used to live here. I went to college here.” She clarifies, avoiding his gaze now.

The older boy is even more surprised than he was before. She looked old enough to be in college, but he didn’t even consider it. Someone else having a life before all of this, much like he did. He never considered it until now.

“Up ahead it’ll take you to the fairly decent houses, lots of cops and bankers used to live on this side of town, but the houses will be trashed most likely. The long road past that will take you up the mountain to the super rich houses on top. Those might have some food and supplies, but it’s more dangerous. The high school is to the right, but the college is back around the way we came. Up to you.” She nods, not speaking anymore. Yeonjun is surprised she’s even helping him, but he hadn’t thought that far ahead.

“Thank you.” He says awkwardly, turning back around the way they came. He figures the college is their best bet. More buildings to search for safety in, and all relatively close to the gas stations.

She says nothing as he makes his way back toward the college.

The drive to the campus is somehow more tense than before, and Yeonjun is grateful when they finally pull into the main parking lot, in front of a building labeled, Museum of Natural History.

“The SUB is up ahead.” The girl speaks flatly, and Yeonjun gives her a confused look.

“Student Union Building. They have an event center inside, super spacious, just incase.” She clarifies, looking at him again.

“Sorry, I just never went to college before this all happened…” He explains, finally parking the Jeep.

The parking lot extends to a walkway that goes under the second floor of the SUB, and Yeonjun finds himself parking there to keep the car hidden. It’s almost like the whole slab of the SUB’s second floor is covering the walkway for a few yards, and then connects to the neighboring Museum’s second floor too. Past the end of it all, he sees a grand cement staircase leading up to the side door of the building. It’s perfect.

He pushes the gearstick into park and finally cuts the engine, sitting silent for a few moments.

The smaller girl is still gazing out the windshield, eyes scanning along the huge quad slowly.

“Is it weird to be back here?” Yeonjun doesn’t know why he asks, but he can clearly see the girl is visibly upset as she has her hands bundled in fists.

Without answering, she unlatches her seatbelt, swings open the door, and steps into the cold. After her feet hit the ground and she slams the door closed, the rest of the boys in the back groggily come to.

“We’re here.” Yeonjun sighs, turning on the upper light and pocketing the keys, “Grab your stuff, we’re setting up camp for the night.”

And then he’s getting out of the car himself, slamming his door and heading for the trunk.

“Hyung look, there’s a giant tiger statue back there!” Kai says with excitement, motioning back through the door they just came in through.

“It’s a Bengal.” Y/N corrects the youngest boy before leading the group farther in the empty building. The inside is pitch black, but the moonlight allows Yeonjun to see their surroundings, just barely.

To their right there is a huge staircase leading to the lowest level of the building, and a long hallway filled with multiple tables and chairs, like a huge eating area. Next to the help desk in front of them, small restaurants are grouped side by side as the window parallel shines even more light on all of the walls. The girl drags them to the left, taking them toward the offices and hallway that lie ahead.

“Fuck.” She says when she finally sees the door. It is bolted shut, with wooden planks and furniture piled against it. There is no way they’re getting in.

“Plan B?” Yeonjun asks annoyingly, making the girl brush past him, feet stomping along the way.

“Shut the fuck up, will you?” She snaps as she drags them back past all the small food places, leading them toward a staircase near the side of the building. Yeonjun can’t help but make another snarky comment at her. Soobin laughs under his breath. The youngest boys look shocked.

“Doesn’t this place have elevators?”

She glares at him when he speaks again, and juts her chin to the elevator along the right wall as they walk into the stairwell, saying nothing as she climbs up the stairs.

The boys all follow her, saying nothing at their interaction.

“Hey, Y/N, do you know where we’re going now?” Soobin speaks up, his voice timid as he catches up to the angry girl.

“Yep. Clearly the elevators don’t work but the top floor is our safest bet. There are tons of big rooms where we’ll be safe in. Unless you guys wanna spend the night in the bowling alley or the movie theater.” She throws in the last options offhandedly, knowing both will just be annoying to settle down for the night.

The two youngests perk up at this though, all voicing their excitement.

“There’s really a bowling alley and a movie theater here? This place was so awesome.”

“It is awesome.” Y/N clarifies, swallowing thickly before she leads the rest of the boys up the remainder of the flights.

Once on the top floor, Yeonjun knows why the girl chose it for their spot. There are dozens of lined rooms down the hall on either of them, and huge windows that show the entire campus and more, the land extending for miles upon miles. He can even see the mountain just off campus, trees swaying in the wind.

“Here you go.” She says, finally shrugging off the backpack she was actually able to retrieve from the trunk, “Home sweet hallway.”

The largest room is to their right, which gives them a view of both doors on either side of the hallway. Yeonjun nods a bit before appointing the group to set up their own sleeping bags and spaces.

The three youngest always stick together, all chatting about whatever is on their mind as they set up their sleeping bags, and Yeonjun notices that Soobin is back to chatting with Y/N easily, saying something he can’t pick up as he starts laying out his sleeping bag as well.

It’s like that for a few minutes, all of the boys laying out their sleeping bags, whipping their blankets in the air to get it into shape before laying it on the thin material of their makeshift bed. Yeonjun honestly cannot wait to sleep. He’s so tired, he doesn’t even think much about the fact that they can’t eat dinner. He hopes they will be able to find some food tomorrow.

“Hey Jun?” Soobin asks, catching the attention of the older boy as he looks up toward him.

“Where is Y/N going to sleep?”

All eyes settle on the girl sitting criss-cross on the floor, shivering lightly with her coat draped over her shoulders. Soobin frowns at Yeonjun before motioning toward her obviously, and the older boy just sighs.

“It’s not my problem Soob-”

“She can sleep in my sleeping bag if she wants.” The younger boy offers, already looking back toward the girl again. Yeonjun feels his heart leap up into his throat. He has to try hard to not eagerly deny the fact that she very much cannot sleep with Soobin.

It’s not that Soobin is a bad guy - quite the opposite actually. And the last thing Yeonjun needs is to hear the girl giggling from Soobin’s goofy antics all night long. No, he will not have that.

“She’ll sleep with me.” Yeonjun says firmly, nodding before he kicks off his shoes and places them next to his flimsy little blanket layers on the ground.

“Not happening.” Y/N finally speaks up, glaring at Yeonjun, “I’d rather get mauled by a zombie.”

“Be my guest then, that is, if you don’t freeze first.”

Yeonjun grins sarcastically at the shivering girl, and even though she is wearing multiple layers, he knows she’lll still be freezing if she doesn’t contain enough heat to get her through the night.

“Jun.” Soobin tries to interject, but the blue-haired boy just glares at him.

“Not a debate, Soobin. Go to sleep.”

The tallest boy looks sadly at the girl, before turning on his back away from her. The rest of the boys do the same, leaving her shivering in silence.

Yeonjun doesn’t know what time it is when he feels movement from his side. His eyes snap open in fear quick enough, though, and he almost reaches for his bat next to him before a soft voice breaks through the darkness.

“Jesus, relax. It’s just me.”

The girl’s teeth are chattering as she crawls under the layers of blankets Yeonjun has above his body, and he doesn’t say anything as the side of her body is suddenly flush against his.

“Thought you’d rather be mauled to death.” He rasps, still half asleep as he nuzzles further into the blanket.

“Shut up, will you?” The girl responds, voice still low so she doesn’t wake the others.

It is quiet for a while, both of them just breathing together. Yeonjun doesn’t know if it’s awkward, but he’s too tired to care. After driving for so long, it starts to take its toll.

“Yeonjun?” The girl says softly, causing the older boy to glance over at her. She sighs before speaking again, “Who were you before all of this?”

The boy blinks at her, mind reeling before he stares up at the tiled ceiling again.

Does he want to do this? Does he really want to open up to the girl who he can’t help but fight with every single second?

He doesn’t have much of a choice as he opens his mouth, and his exhausted body starts speaking honestly.

“I lived in Korea.” He explains, but he doesn’t know why she cares enough to ask. He doesn’t know why he cares enough to explain. He wouldn’t have asked about her, but it’s clear she had other intentions.

“I worked for a company called Big Hit. It’s like a company that trains and creates Idols. Kind of like celebrity performers.”

The girl listens intently to his words, not speaking as he goes on.

“This was our first debut, coming to America. I always dreamed about coming back. I studied in California for a few years when I was younger, but it was always my dream to come back. You know you’ve made it when you make it in America.”

Yeonjun shifts to his side to get more comfortable, and suddenly realizes how close they actually are. He can feel the girl’s breath across his cheeks, and he has to keep himself from pulling away with anxiety.

“I- um… the rest of the boys were in a group with me. We were all idols. But when the virus hit, we got stranded here. Our managers died in a car accident, and we were lucky to make it out alive. We all just want to go back home.”

He doesn’t know why, but somehow he can’t stop. Maybe it’s the way she’s looking at him, listening, or because he hasn’t talked to anyone like this in a long time.

“I loved dancing. I trained as an Idol for years, but it was all worth it because I loved it. Before all of this, I studied really hard, and I enjoyed hip hop the most. It was my favorite to dance to. Just being able to move my body freely to the music, I loved every second of it.”

Yeonjun stops now, not really knowing what else to say. He feels embarrassed, a bit flustered, and he tries to take the attention off of him as he asks, “Who were you before all of this, Y/N?”

The girl is still, eyes glossed over as she bites her lip a bit. Yeonjun can see it’s hard for her to talk about it, but she still does. She still opens up to him, because he did to her.

“I was… I was a student. I worked my ass off at community college to come here, and I got scholarships and grants just to be able to live here on my own. I had a rough time in high school, but college was supposed to change everything for me. I was living alone, trying to make friends, and just attempting to start my life. I came from a small town, where people get trapped like poison. No one comes out of my hometown unless they’re willing to risk everything for it.”

Yeonjun can feel his heart beating steadily against his ribcage as the girl speaks, and he can’t help but feel understood by her. He takes a deep breath to stomp the feeling down.

“I remember I was so excited to finally start. I was studying marketing and creative writing. I loved writing so much, I was so excited to be able to do what I loved. It may not seem like much, this town, but it’s all I had. It was the only chance I had at becoming someone else - someone better.”

She looks over at Yeonjun suddenly, and is surprised when he nods for her to continue.

“I grew up in this state my whole life, and my only goal was to leave. All I ever wanted was to leave.”

The smaller girl can’t help but get choked up, taking a few deep breaths to calm herself down. Yeonjun easily slides the blanket farther over her shoulder, hoping the softness will comfort her a bit.

It takes a bit for her to finish, but once she does, Yeonjun knows she is exhausted.

“So that was it. I made it here, and then the virus stole it all from me. My education, my family. All the hope I had. Just… gone.” She says, eyes now closed as she lies next to him. He doesn’t know what to say, and he truly doesn’t think anything he can say will make her feel any better.

“You should rest.” He whispers to her, hand moving up before he realizes what he’s doing.

Before Yeonjun knows it, he’s wrapping his arm halfway across the girl, holding across her chest in a hug, his hand holding onto her right shoulder gently.

He slightly expects her to swear at him. He also expects her to punch him in the face.

She does neither.

Instead, her breathing evens out, and she falls asleep like that. With her body finally warm next to Yeonjun’s, and a single tear slipping down the side of her cheek.

Yeonjun allows himself to fall into a deep slumber soon after.

After all, tomorrow, they have to get a move on.

98 notes · View notes

tomoonine · 4 years

Text

[scenario] college junior!jaehyun meeting freshman!reader at a frat party

Can I request uni freshman y/n meeting junior frat boy jaehyun at a party? With lots of fluff, and you can add angst if you want to, but with a cute and happy ending. Thank you!

☽. this was really interesting and fun to write, thank you so much for requesting!! i’m not sure if i was able to capture the essence of a frat party, so i hope it’s relatively accurate (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ if you enjoyed reading this, please check out more in my masterlist! requested: yes; @plump-peach word count: 2.1k words

⚠ content warning! mentions of alcohol. drink responsibly!

The red cup that you’re gently cradling seems heavier than it ought to be. It’s odd, you note. Not long ago, you had a partially-filled cup of cheap beer, courtesy of the friend who invited you here. Though after being promptly left to your own devices by said friend, and a tipsy stranger sauntering towards you and engaging in an awkward conversation, you realized that you’ve practically kept your lips perched onto the rim of your cup to avoid speaking to the stranger. In a way, it’s a blessing to have an empty cup like this. You were able to excuse yourself from the drunken fool, saying that you were going to get yourself a refill.

Except here you are, seated at the foot of Omicron’s patio. The fresh air that dances toward you gives you no sense of comfort, but it’s better than whatever’s going on inside the house itself. You’re thankful that not everyone in the room is pressing onto themselves lasciviously, but the blinding strobe lights and the bass line that reverberates even outside the house is starting to mess with you. Maybe it’s the cheap alcohol you downed earlier that’s messing you up, but you don’t mind. The possibility of getting tipsy over subpar beer, while the cold breeze messes with your hair and attempts to blow the red cup away from your grasp could be the escape you’ve been longing for since the start of the school year. To think that you're a newly admitted freshman, it’s odd, seeing how things have been going so far.

As you begin to recall everyone’s joyous acclaims of college being the best time of your life, all you can do is scoff and roll your eyes. You even let out a laugh when you instinctively bring the cup back to your lips, searching for liquefied escape. Everyone seemed to have glorified the college experience too much, or maybe it’s just you who’s suffering all this time. School work is one thing, one overwhelming thing. It’s puzzling how everyone else around you can keep up with the academic demands, all while joining these fraternities, sororities, and organizations and still looking as fresh as they started. For a freshman, you’re tired. Too tired. Everyone’s starting to worry about your well-being, especially the friend who was inclined to believe that making you feel better and less drained entailed bringing you to this frat party.

It’s not as if you hate parties, to be honest. On a regular day, you wouldn’t have minded going to one, but you haven’t had a regular day in months. And all you want to do is just go back to your bed, lie down, then attempt to get a grip of your life through continuous self-assessment with your sad playlist on loudspeaker. Anything would be better than feeling uncomfortable in a stranger’s house, though it’s not like you can just step out and go home. That friend was your ride here and back, after all. So finding solace here on the patio is the best thing you can do for now, and you can only hope that it can remain that way for the rest of the party.

That is, until you feel something gently sliding onto your shoulders and a presence making itself known beside you. Despite the darkness, your peripheral vision catches the familiar maroon color assigned to Omicron. However, the jacket doesn't help you identify your new companion right until he speaks up. All hopes for a night of peace shatters as soon as your name leaves his lips.

"What're you doing out here, (Y/N)?" Jaehyun softly whispers as he approaches you, dragging two stacked-up Monoblock chairs with him. "I can't guarantee that where you're sitting right now is clean, sit here." At his insistence, you reluctantly stand up from where you are, careful to grasp onto the jacket to prevent it from sliding off. "How do you know my name?"

Your question throws him off, you can tell that it did by the way he visibly freezes. Regardless, he offers a small smile. "College orientation.” Jaehyun laughs. “I was the tour guide for your block, remember? We're both students from Business Administration.”

Ah, right. Jung Jaehyun, 3rd year in BS Business Administration. It surprises you that he remembers your name and your face. He wasn’t wrong when he said that you met during your Freshman Orientation, because you can start to vividly recall him guiding you and your blockmates throughout the campus. He had a flag in one hand and a microphone on the other, animatedly showing everyone the facilities and answering queries from you and your group. Sometimes you wondered if you were being too fussy over college during those days, especially with how dismissive you’ve become these days. Though you’re thankful that Jaehyun was nice enough to be patient with everyone.

However, it puzzles you to see someone as chivalrous and nice as him at a place like this. More so when you’re certain that the jacket draped around you was his fraternity membership jacket. You don’t mean to judge him and his fraternity brothers, but you can’t help but feel odd. Especially when he’s dressed in tight jeans, a button-up shirt left open just below his collarbones, with his hair slicked backward.

“Sorry.” You apologize promptly, finally taking up his offer to sit down on a chair. “It’s been so long, it’s nice to see you again.”

“No need to feel sorry.” He smiles as he occupies the seat beside you. “It’s been a while, and I never really see you around at headquarters. Busy?”

At his remark, you freeze. You curse the fact that both of you share the same course, because that means you two are both part of the same home organization for Business Administration majors. Each organization is entitled to a room in the college where people can hang out and plan meetings. He must be staying there often, you think, especially if he was able to point out how rarely you visit. With more commonalities, the longer this conversation will be. It’s going to impede you from enjoying a quiet night, even if Jaehyun’s voice sounds pleasing hearing it so softly. You swirl your red cup around, as if there were anything left in it. “Yeah, I never really get time to pay everyone a visit. I’m too swamped with school work, so I’m at the library most of the time.”

Jaehyun hums, bringing his own red cup to his lips for a swig of beer. With the incoming silence, your eyes end up staying fixated over what’s going on inside the house. The lights seem brighter than earlier, and everyone has started to dance at the center. You can see your friend inside dancing the night away, and everyone is cheering them on. You smile to yourself, feeling a little happy seeing them enjoy their time.

“I guess it’s good that you’re taking a break now.” You can hear Jaehyun say, and when you turn to look at him, his eyes are also fixed on the dance floor. “Adjusting to university is hard, and our course is no joke.”

“I wish I was taking a break.” You scoff. “I was invited here by a friend, but I’m not really feeling it right now. That’s why I stepped out for a bit.”

“Well, you didn’t look like you were ready to talk to a tipsy Yonghwa.”

“Not sure if anyone who just arrived at the venue is ready to talk to any tipsy person.”

“Sorry.” Jaehyun chuckles at your remark. “I swear, Omicron’s parties aren’t like this. It’s usually more casual during these hours, I guess someone must have found the alcohol stash and went crazy. Except they took the nasty stash, our alcohol isn’t always this… bad.” You catch Jaehyun lifting up his cup and offering it a pained expression, and it’s enough to elicit a laugh from you.

“No, don’t be sorry.” You attempt to comfort him. “I’ve probably had worse drinks before.” This time you set the red cup on the ground, take the jacket around your shoulders to wrap across your body, then rest your back on the back of the chair. “Weirdly enough, I never would have expected to feel this chill. At a frat party, no less. I was expecting myself to get wasted and forget everything for a moment, but I feel better now. Just sitting here for some fresh air.”

“At least you feel better.” He beams. “I was a little worried honestly, you looked tired. Plus, you dragged yourself outside in the cold, away from everyone in the house. No one really goes to a party to not socialize, after all.”

After a hum of acknowledgement from you, it falls silent once again. Although this time, your mind is far from any sense of peace. You have your eyes on Jaehyun, trying to make sense of his words as you analyze every feature visible under the strobe lights. His face shows no sign of fatigue, and you’re inclined to believe that he probably has his life under better control than you. Someone as active as him surely has his life direction paved for him. It makes you jealous, you admit. He’s free to do whatever makes him happy but you’re still stuck in the middle of everything.

You don’t know it, but Jaehyun can sense your distress. You don’t know it, but Jaehyun’s gaze has mirrored yours and this time, he’s looking at the tired lines that manifest across your face. With a soft sigh, he stands up from his chair and holds his hand out toward you.

“Wanna go for a McDonald’s run? There’s one nearby, walking distance.”

You’re taken aback once again, blinking at him in confusion. “What?”

“McDonalds. Are you up for it? If you don’t have money on you right now, I can pay for it.”

“Uh..” You begin. “I mean, I have my wallet with me. But what for?”

“Clearly, you don’t look happy here.” Jaehyun says. “And you also need a break from everything, and if you’re after a quiet place to think, then this isn’t the place. I promise, I’ll take you back to the frat house or I can take you back to your own home if you prefer.”

“Won’t they be looking for you?

“They’ll be fine without me.” He reassures. “I live here anyway and I have my own key. If they lock me out I can get back in anyway.”

“Okay… But isn’t it weird? I just arrived here, and now we’re going to leave…”

“Sometimes you need to escape everything to really feel free. Escape routine, escape places, and do something completely new. Like leaving a party as soon as you arrive to eat at a 24-hour fast food chain.” He says, and the words leave an impact on you. The words ring louder in your mind than the bass line of the song being played. The lights aren’t as blinding as the truth that he speaks. They’re words you’d never expect to hear, those that you don’t expect to comfort you.

Escape... Freedom...

Maybe that’s what you needed all this time, after days of repetition and constant fatigue. Maybe you needed to live for once, do things out of the blue, because parties like this are starting to feel repetitive. But a night spent with Jaehyun, someone you barely know, might be the your only chance to feel alive. Your only chance to escape and forget about everything. To be free.

Once again, Jaehyun interrupts your thoughts by interjecting. “Come on, we can talk about your professors and I can give you some pointers. It’s the least I can do as your upperclassman.”

You consider his offer, taking his hand and slowly lifting yourself off of the chair. “I’d have to tell my friend that I’ll be back though.”

Another smile makes his way to his lips, although this time, you can tell that it’s much bigger than the ones he’s been showing you. “That’s the spirit. You can look for your friend while I get my wallet and keys upstairs. I’ll see you outside.” The hand that was once in your grasp moves to lightly pat your arm in comfort.

Right after, he takes his leave, his figure joining the crowd shortly to maneuver his way to the staircase. Once you’re certain that he’s gone, you fix the jacket he’s given you so that you’re wearing it properly. You then pick up your red cup on the floor, ready to find your friend among the crowd of people. And for the first time in days, there’s a radiant smile across your face, and it shines brighter than anything else around you.

238 notes · View notes