#i don’t even care if i would be happy someday. i just hate that i have to learn how to do it without him | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fairysluna · 1 year

Text

what should've been.

Aegon has always been in love with his loyal childhood companion, so when King Viserys proposed a betrothal between them, he's absolutely blissful with the idea, although his happiness wouldn't last long.

MASTERLIST | Epilogue

PAIRING — Aegon II Targaryen x Arryn!Reader.

TAGS/TW — friends to lovers, fluff, angst, death by illness, grief, cursing, teenage!aegon at the beginning, mentions of infertility, 'i hate everyone but you' trope.

AUTHOR'S NOTE — (2nd repost) small context, Aegon was named heir and reader is daughter of Lord Arryn who in this story is Maester of Law in the Small Council. this was a request, and ngl i loved this even tho it broke my heart... pls enjoy!!🤍

WORD COUNT — 7.6k

FEEDBACK, SHARES AND COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME!!

Aegon's head was on her lap.

The girl was leaning back on the Weirwood tree while Aegon was listening to her reading. The book on her hand was about the Andals, and she looked genuinely interested in the lecture while Aegon couldn’t help but to follow the movement her lips did with every word she pronounced. It was hypnotizing, as if they were begging to be kissed by him.

While one of her hands was holding the old book, the other one was on his hair, stroking the strands of it with such delicacy and care that Aegon would have fallen asleep right there, but he forced his eyes to be open only to stare at her, and the flower that he had left in her hair a few minutes ago.

"... The Vale of Arryn is where is located the purest Andals' blood as it was the first place they reach in their arrival to Westeros, and where their invasion started-"

"So you are a pureblood then?" Aegon asked, teasingly interrupting her lecture. "I'm a pureblood too."

"Pureblood?" She repeated, closing the book and leaving it on the side. "What are you, a wolf?"

"I'm a dragon, love." He sat up and leaned forward, getting closer to her face. “The blood of Old Valyria runs in my veins, and the blood of the Andals runs in yours, perhaps we should mix them and make beautiful pureblood children." He teased her, moving his eyebrows up and down in a suggestive manner.

Lady Arryn laughed loudly at his antics, pushing him away by putting her hand against his chest. Aegon just smiled at her reaction, being mesmerized by the sound of her laughter. Her cheeks soon started blushing thanks to his shameless comment and he enjoyed the view, loving how she would get flustered whenever he said those kinds of things.

“I thought you did not wish for children.” She remembered him.

“Oh, I definitely don’t.” He shook his head, “But perhaps the process of making them would allow us to have some fun.”

The girl slapped the Prince’s arm, and he dropped his mouth, offended by the gesture.

“Aegon!” She scolded him.

“You just slapped the arm of the heir!” He jokingly said, “I can cut your hands for it.”

"Why would you say such a foolish thing?" She spoke between chuckles.

"It's not a 'foolish thing', it's a proposal." He clarified, "You will be my wife someday, I’m telling you."

"You're too confident." She claimed, "Due to your queer family customs, you will probably get married to Helaena."

His smile vanished almost immediately. His horror face was such a sight; his eyes widened and his eyebrows frowned exaggeratedly while his upper lip curled up. It was a hilarious scene that had the Lady chuckling quietly.

"Don't speak too loud, the Gods might hear you." He warned. "You are giving them ideas to punish me."

"You should stop giving them reasons to punish you."

"I don't do that!" He said offended. The girl stared at him with a serious semblance. Aegon smirked, "What? Does loving you so deeply be considered a sin?"

He leaned forward once again, this time he managed to kiss her cheek. The girl looked down, trying to hide her embarrassed face. No matter how many times Aegon would make those comments towards her, no matter how many times he would kiss her not-so-far from her lips; she just could not stop reacting that way. It is as if her body was trying to publicly show her feelings towards the Prince.

“You are a fool, Aegon.” She whispered, feeling his closeness. “Now, step back before someone sees us.”

“Why?” He looked around, and then looked back at her. “There’s no one here and I’m comfortable.”

“My honor would be doubted if they see you this close to me.” She explained with a subtle smile, “Step back, now.”

“But I love admiring your beauty from this angle.” He muttered, getting closer and closer.

“Aegon…” She pledged, feeling her heart beating faster.

“If you wouldn’t want it, you would stop me.”

She could feel his breathing crashing against her lips, she could sense the waves of the sound of his sweet voice; she was weak, she was panting as soon as she realized that just one push would be enough to feel his lips against hers for the first time; just a tiny push, but she didn’t have the guts to do it, she was too scared.

His hand fell on her soft cheek, Aegon felt the warmth of it and smirked. Her eyes were glistening and he knew for sure that his were too. He was so close to her that he was able to smell the scent of her hair, so sweet and delicious.

“I want to kiss you.” He said, brushing his lips against hers.

“Do it-”

“Prince Aegon.” Said a male voice behind them, interrupting the moment abruptly. Suddenly all the magic was gone.

The Lady pushed him away once more, this time it took him by surprise making him roll over until he laid on his back against the grass. He cleared his throat and composed himself quickly before looking at Ser Criston, who was curiously staring at the both of them. The poor girl was so flustered that she could not even look the guard in the face; she looked at the book in her hands instead.

“Lady Arryn.” He greeted, “The Queen wants to see you both.”

“Both?” She repeated, scandalized. “Why?”

“I’m afraid I’m only a messenger, my Lady.” Ser Criston replied, while offering his hand to her so she could stand up without problem.

“I was going to do that!” Aegon complained, but Ser Criston ignored him.

The both teens walked behind the guard with the white cloak in silence. Aegon would purposely brush his hand against hers only to make her smile; she would look at him with accomplice eyes in return for his silly action.

Once they arrived at the Council Room, Queen Alicent, King Viserys and Lord Arryn were waiting for them. Ser Criston bowed swiftly before going to a corner of the room. The three adults were showing serious semblances that put the teens into distress, unsure of what they would say.

“My King.” Lady Arryn said, bowing. “My Queen.” She repeated the action, and then she went to her father to whom she greeted with a soft kiss on his cheek.

“Why are we here?” Aegon asked.

“We have some important news we would like to share with you both.” King Viserys explained. “Please, be seated.”

They listened obediently, sitting right next to each other. Lady Arryn’s leg was jumping out of nervousness, thinking that someone might have seen all those times when Aegon tried to kiss her and she didn’t push him back, or that some maid could have started a rumor that put her honor in disgrace. She was tormenting herself with her ideas, getting more anxious by the second. Aegon noticed it, and he placed his hand over hers in order to calm her down a little. It worked.

“We all know how close you have been during your entire childhood and even now.” The King explained, “We also know that House Arryn has been loyal to our House since the days of Aegon the Conqueror, which is something I am truly grateful for.”

“We had a conversation during a Small Council meeting about your future as King.” Alicent spoke to his son, “And we have decided that it is time for you to marry with a good and decent Lady that could provide you with an heir.”

“And we have chosen you, Lady Arryn.” Viserys announced. The girl looked over the table to find her father smiling pleasantly, “Your father has just given us his blessing in this union and we are already getting the preparations for the wedding.”

“You’ll be married in a fortnight.” Said the Queen with a kind smile. “I hope this union makes you both equally happy.”

The girl could’t react at first, it felt like a dream. She has been in love with Aegon since she learned what it truly means to love someone; that thin, platinum haired boy has stolen her heart since they first met, and now she was getting married to him. To her Aegon.

Aegon was also so thrilled about the news that an incredulous smile formed on his face as soon as he heard the news. He looked at his mother and mouthed a subtle ‘thank you’ which made her smile. He was not used to getting what he wanted. He never did, actually. But this, the fact that he would get to spend the rest of his life with the girl he was deeply in love with, was more than enough for him.

He started to thank the Gods too for listening to his pledges, for giving him a chance to be happy. His heart was beating fast, and he didn’t know if it was because of the excitement or because he felt the eyes of his beloved on his face. He turned around and saw her softened haze and her sweet smile, it was impossible to ignore it.

“I told you.” Aegon said, “You will be my wife.”

Their wedding was beautiful. Lady Arryn wore a beautiful white gown with golden embroidery with the shape of pansies; her favorite flowers. Aegon's eyes were lost with her beauty that day, he could not believe his luck. Seeing her walking down the aisle with her father on her right arm and enormous bright smile on her face was enough for him to realize that he had everything he had ever dreamt of.

They were still too young to understand what marriage and forever truly mean, but they were excited to learn about those things together.

Aegon could not be separated from his wife during the whole night; he could not stop kissing her in front of everyone, for she was finally his. His sneaky hands were touching her body everytime they would go and dance in the middle of the whole; Alicent would send warning stares at her oldest son,but he would just ignore them, he was way too happy to even care about what she might say about his attitude. Besides, she was already his wife.

He forbade the bedding ceremony, claiming that the only man who deserves to see Lady Arryn naked is him. When the night arrived, she was too shy and nervous while Aegon was almost jumping with excitement. It was her first time, but not Aegon’s, and yet he felt as if he had never felt pleasure before, for there was no sensation in the world that could’ve been compared with what he felt once he saw her naked for the first time.

He was soft and caring, touching her with such delicacy that even he surprised himself with it. She was so soft, so beautiful and mesmerizing. Aegon saw himself as the luckiest man in the entire world because he would get to spend the rest of his life contemplating the beautiful woman he has as his wife.

Four years passed after their wedding night, and both were living through their twentieth name-day. Their love was still present, as strong as it ever was. Aegon was still smiling as a teenage boy everytime she would enter the room, and she would still blush when he whispered unholy comments in her ear. They were living in a paradise made only for them.

However, they hadn’t been able to conceive an heir yet.

At first, both of them were not enchanted with the idea of having a child, there was no rush either. King Viserys was still healthy, there was no war, no threats that might put their lives in danger, so they just decided to wait. Lady Arryn would drink her moontea in the mornings after spending the night together and wait until her time of the month would arrive.

Then, she started to show herself a bit more open about it, after she met her nephews and nieces on a trip to the Eyrie. Aegon and her were married for two and a half years when she started to have desires for motherhood, but she knew that even though she felt ready, Aegon did not feel the same. The pressure of inheriting the crown was too much already, too many responsibilities that would not let him live as freely as he wants; having a child would add another duty in his long list.

“Don’t hate me for it.” Aegon begged after explaining himself to her. “All I’m asking for is a few more years. We’ve been doing fine on our own, we can keep doing it for a couple years more.”

Lady Arryn looked at him with her haze softened, caressing his cheeks with her thumb in sweet movements that would relax his body. His eyes were looking down at her with worry, scared that she might get angry at him for not giving her what she wanted; but she only nodded, accepting his deal with a subtle smile.

“How could I ever hate you, my love?” She spoke softly. “I will wait, there’s no reason to hurry.” She shrugged, downplaying the matter. “Besides, we are both still young.”

“Are you sure you’re not mad at me?” He asked, insecureness was heard in his voice.

She cupped his chubby cheeks and brought him closer to her so she could kiss his lips in a tender way. Her lips were moving softly and slowly against his, while his hands positioned themselves on the curve of her hips.

“There is no reason to be mad, my love.” She clarified after she leaned back. “This family will also be yours. We both must be ready to start it, not just me.”

And that is what they did.

They were avoiding the constant questions of the Lords and Ladies that would grow curious by the absence of a child after three years of marriage. Aegon would not listen to those comments, but he would realize her reactions towards them; she would put on the fakest smile he had ever seen, and just shrug with a saddened look on her eyes. Even though Aegon did not worry about it, he eventually did.

In one of their trips to the Eyrie, Aegon saw his lady wife playing with her nephews while her nieces braided her hair. Her smile was so genuine and big that made him whole. He noticed how happy she was whenever she was around those children, and then he realized that his wife has always been so attentive, kind and loving towards him, she never pushed him to do something he did not want to do, not even when she wanted it so bad.

That is when he decided that it was time. He wanted to make her happy, to make himself worthy of her love, so he told her that he was ready. He wanted to give her a child.

However, the Gods did not seem to be so pleased with the idea, because after months of trying —and they definitely were trying—, she would not get pregnant.

Lady Arryn was starting to lose hope, feeling guilty about the situation. She married the King’s heir in order to give him an heir, and she was miserably failing in her duty as wife. Aegon consoled her one night when he found her crying beside the bed. Her eyes were closed, she was kneeling and her hands were intertwined; she was praying to the Mother.

“My love…” Aegon spoke up once he got into the room.

The girl looked up, her teary eyes were enough to break his heart. Her cheeks were glistening with the tears that had previously fallen down her face. Once she saw her beloved husband, she started crying loudly; he immediately kneeled beside her and hugged her tightly, comforting her in her pain.

“I’m so sorry, Aegon.” She whined in his ear. “I’ve tried, I swear it. I’ve been praying to the Mother but she refuses to listen.”

“Sh, sh.” He said while brushing her hair with his fingers. Hearing her voice so broken made him tear up too. He couldn’t handle seeing her in that way. “No need to apologize, my love. This is not your fault.”

“My womb is useless.” She said. “I haven’t been able to give you an heir. It is my duty and I couldn’t fulfill it.”

“Nonsense.” He whispered softly, cleaning the tears on her face and looking at her with a loving haze. “The Maester says we just need to keep trying.”

“He’s been saying it for months, Aegon.” Lady Arryn whined. “Nothing happens yet.”

“We just need to be patient.” Aegon tried to cheer her up. “Besides, it’s not like we are not enjoying the process, is it?”

She tried to smile, but she just couldn’t. The sorrow on her heart was too big, the thought of letting Aegon down was tortuous, heart breaking even. He had been such a loving and good husband, he deserved to be a good father too.

“I’ve failed you.” She whispered. “I’m so sorry, my love.”

“Don’t you ever say that again, y/n.” He warned. “You have never failed me. Never. Not even when I was a foolish boy.” He cupped her face and left a soft kiss on her lips. “You’ve made me the luckiest man alive, and I love you.”

“I love you too.” She managed to say between sobs and sighs.

“You were praying now, right?” She nodded. “This is what we are going to do; we, together, are going to pray to the Mother, we are going to pledge a little of her compassion, and we are going to try again.” He held her hands, left soft kisses in them before positioning in a prayer position. “Go on, love.”

Her shaky voice was heard around the room while she started to sing the Mother’s hymn. Aegon closed his eyes and started to pledge. He was not a full believer, he would just pretend to be praying when his mother blesses the table before eating; but now he meant it. He put his whole heart out, offering the Gods thousands of things in exchange for a child for his beloved wife.

Six full moons later, there was still no positive outcome, and even though the Maester had given her hundreds of teas and infusions to make her more fertile, the results were the same. So Aegon decided to send her to the Vale in order to spend time with the small children of her brothers, thinking that the trip would cheer her up a bit, after so many months of not having good news. Aegon had to stay on King’s Landing in order to attend the Council Meetings, his father was starting to get older.

Lady Arryn was away for at least a month when she decided to come back in the arms of his beloved, who would escape in Sunfyre’s back to see her at least once a week. He just couldn’t stay away from her for so long.

When she arrived back in the Capital, Aegon ran into the main entrance with a big smile that soon faded away once he set his eyes on her. He had flown to see her a week ago, and she looked completely different from who he was looking at now. She could barely get out of the carriage by herself, and she fainted when she put her feet on the ground.

Aegon yelled in despair, asking for a Maester while he carried his wife all the way towards the room they shared. He was scared. Her face was paler, there were purple circles around her eyes and her skin was burning. He didn’t know what was going on with her, a few days ago she was just fine.

The Maester was quick enough to wake her up, but the fever was already putting signs of illness on her tired face. Aegon asked the old man a million times about the health of his wife, concerned, desperate and scared. Of course he didn’t have the answers to it yet.

“Is it a babe?” Aegon asked hurryingly. “Is she- is she finally pregnant?”

“My Prince, these are not symptoms of a healthy pregnancy.” The Maester informed, “I’m afraid I should send some letters to the Citadel in order to find out.”

“Well, then fucking do that!” He screamed in his face. “Why are you still waiting?!”

“Aegon…” A soft voice was heard, the man turned around to see his wife waking up and trying to stand up. “Aegon, my love.”

“It’s okay, I’m here.” He rushed to her side and soon grabbed her shaky hand. “What happened? Tell me, what do you feel?”

A maid walked towards her with a wet cloth and a bowl filled with cold water. Aegon grabbed those things and started to clean her face, trying to make the fever go away.

“We stopped to eat in a canteen on the way here.” She informed him, “The food was delicious.”

“Was it?” Aegon asked with a small smile on his lips, she nodded. “How are you feeling?” He asked.

“A bit tired.” She said, “And thirsty.”

Aegon hurried to the nightstand and grabbed a cup to fill it with fresh and cold water. He helped her drink it, lifting her chin with two of his fingers and pouring the water inside her mouth.

“I guess we won’t be able to try for a baby tonight.” She lamented, jokingly. That made him chuckle.

“We can do that tomorrow night, there’s no hurry.” He leaned to kiss her forehead, feeling how sweaty and hot was her skin. “You must rest now.”

“Will you stay by my side?” She asked, closing her eyes once again.

“I will always, my love.”

He did as promised and never left her side. He was there, on a chair by her bed the entire day and the night that followed it. The maids would try to convince him to go and eat something, they promised him that she was in good hands, but he refused. He would not leave her, not like this.

Her father went to see her, Lord Arryn stroked her hair for a while before saying goodbye as he must travel to Essos in the name of the crown. He thought it wasn’t something serious, he thought that she would be fine within days, but Aegon knew that wasn’t the case. He knew from the beginning that something was wrong.

Alicent went to see her daughter in law, and she brought food for her son. He received it, thanked her for it, but he did not eat it. He was not hungry, he was not tired; he was worried. He had never seen anyone in that state, and something inside of him was telling him it was not normal.

The next day she woke up first. Her head was aching and her body was covered in chills making her shiver with the cold wind. Aegon’s hand was wrapped around hers, and she squeezed it three times to wake him up too. The silver haired man opened his eyes tiredly and soon a groan came out of his throat for the backache that was produced by the uncomfortable and hard chair. He stopped complaining as soon as he saw his wife’s eyes staring at him.

He yawned before giving her a sweet smile, kissing her hand and then her forehead. Her skin was still burning.

“Good morrow, my sun.” He greeted her, “Did you sleep well?”

“I did.” Her voice sounded weak, but Aegon tried to ignore that. “Did you?”

“I didn’t.” He answered annoyed, “This is a fucking castle, how can it not have comfortable chairs around?”

She laugh weakly.

“You still have a fever, don’t you?” Aegon asked.

“I do, and I’m cold.” She complained.

“I know, my love.” He replied, “But the Maester says it’s not good to put so many blankets on you, your fever can go worse.”

“And what about my husband’s arms?” She asked teasingly. Aegon just smiled, “Did the Maester forbid that too?”

Aegon took his shirt out of his body and made his way on top of the thin white bed sheet that was covering the shivering body of his beloved. She quickly cuddled under his arms, and hid her face on his chest, feeling the familiar warmth. Aegon did not care about how sweaty her body was, he just cared about making her feel comfortable and safe. She fell asleep once again; the fever was consuming her body.

The Maester walked in a few minutes before and almost choked when he saw the scene. A scandalized grin took over his wrinkled face and looked at them with horror.

“Oh, no, my Prince!” He said, pulling Aegon’s arm and forcing him to get out of the bed.

“What the fuck you think you’re doing?” He raised his voice, Lady Arryn woke up.

“My Prince, you should not be this close to you wife, she-”

“She’s my fucking wife, what did you expect?” He angrily protested.

“My Prince, whatever illness the Princess has, we are not sure whether it is contagious or not. We cannot put your health at risk.”

Aegon was about to yell again, his face was red with anger because the Maester had woken up his wife. His hands were turned into fists, ready to punch him in the face, but the sweet voice of his beloved spoke first.

“I’m sorry, Maester Orwyle.” She said lightly, “It was my suggestion, not the Prince’s.”

The Maester walked towards her and she tried to sit up but her arms were too frail to hold her weight, so she fell back onto the mattress. Aegon frowned, but she gave him a smile of reassurance.

“You still have a fever, Princess.” The Maester pointed out. “How is your body behaving? Have you got any chill sensation? Cold, shivers, or a headache perhaps?”

“All of them.” She answered with one breath.

The man took a weird looking tool and put it against her chest. He put his ear on it and asked everyone to be quiet. His eyes soon narrowed with worry, but he tried to downplay the situation by hiding his face from the Prince’s intense haze. His attempt failed.

“What?” Aegon asked harshly, “What happened, why would you make that face?”

“My Prince-”

“What is going on?” He insisted, “Fucking answer me!”

“The heartbeats sound a bit weak.” He explained, “Too slow and too soft for someone for her age.”

“Well, then fucking do something about it!”

“I’m going to prepare an infusion of herbs for the Princess, that might do well.” He said before leaving the room.

The two of them stayed alone in the room once again, Lady Arryn looked at her husband and stretched her arm so he could grab her hand. He did, and he kissed it, sitting on the uncomfortable chair beside the bed.

“Don’t be so mean to him, my love.” She said, “He is trying to help.”

“He’s the Grand Maester, if he cannot do his job then we must find another one that can.” She stared at him with a scolding gesture, Aegon sighed, rolling his eyes. “I want the best for you, if I have to travel all over the world to find something to make you feel better, then I will.”

“I’m going to be fine.” She assured him, “In a week I’ll be out of this bed and we can start trying for a child again.”

“Don’t stress your mind thinking about it.” He told her, shaking his head. “We’ve talked about this before; there’s no hurry.”

“But-”

“No ‘but’, my sun.” He interrupted her, “We need to focus on your health first.”

And she nodded, giving an end to the conversation.

Aegon wished to say his wife was getting better, but it was not the case at all. Everyday it seemed as if someone was sucking the life out of her body. She lost a lot of weight, Aegon was able to see her ribs marked on her chest; she barely ate anything, she did not have an appetite to satisfy. Everyday she would speak less too, and her voice would get breathy as if she was getting exhausted by just saying some words. Aegon then stopped making her answer, she would just nod, refuse or smile at him. It was better that way.

She didn’t have the strength to sit up either, so Aegon had to give her water with the help of a dropper. She would complain every time she swallowed, which alarmed him even more.

When Aegon thought he was going through the worst, a terrible thing happened. He was ranting about the Maester and how he hasn’t found a solution to her illness even though it has been days since she was in that state. He was furious, spitting words of rage and nuisance while his wife just looked at him with tired glossy eyes.

And then she started to cough.

At first, he did not pay too much attention to it, thinking that it was just that; a simple cough. But then, the white bed sheets were stained with small drops of blood. Aegon jumped out of the chair and helped her sit up while desperately calling for Maester Orwyle. She did not stop coughing, it was like she was choking on her own blood.

Aegon’s eyes widened in terror, and an exasperating sensation took over his body when he saw that no one was coming to help her. Where the fuck was everyone? He thought, while he was on the verge of tears. He almost ripped his throat apart while screaming and demanding the presence of the Maester, who minutes later walked inside the room and quickly approached the Princess who had just stopped coughing.

She had her eyes closed, and it seemed as if she was in pain with every breath she took.

The Maester gave her milk of the puppy just so she could stop complaining about the tortuous pain her weakened body was suffering, and once he was ready to leave Aegon grabbed his arm with a firm grip, his eyes were teary and filled with rage.

“What is going on with her?” He demanded an answer, his voice shaking. “Answer me!”

“We don’t know what is going on with her, my Prince.” He stuttered, “We have never seen a case like this before. The Citadel-”

“I don’t give a fuck about the Citadel.” Aegon spat, “You need to tell me what is wrong with her, why is she not getting better? It’s been days!”

“I’ve tried every method I know.” He confessed, “It seemed as if her body is rejecting everything. I’m not sure if she will make it.”

“What the fuck are you saying?”

“My Prince, your lady wife state is alarming…” He spoke with care, as if she was walking between dragons. “She could not survive-”

Aegon grabbed him by his collar, making him gasp out of the impression. His nostrils expanded and he was breathing fast and hard, he was fuming.

“If my wife dies, you will die too.” He threatened him, “You must save her, I don’t care what you have to do, but you will save her.”

The old man left quickly, and again it was just him and his dying wife. Aegon felt tears running down his face. He hated seeing her like this, so weak and sick. He would see her eyes for glimpses of time, he would take the opportunity to see them whenever she would open them, and it was enough for him to notice how they were not as shiny as they usually were; they were drained, with so little life.

Alicent arrived in her room a few hours later, she saw his son grabbing her hand and the dried tears in his eyes. She walked closer to him and caressed his back in a motherly touch that made him shiver.

“What did the Maester say?” She asked worried.

“He doesn’t know what is going on.” Aegon replied with a shaky voice, proof that he had been crying. “He is an incompetent. How the fuck is he even a Maester if he doesn’t know how to heal people?”

“He’s trying his best.” Alicent consoled him, “He had sent multiple letters to the Citadel already, the answers might take too long to arrive.”

“But I need it now.” He muttered. “She is sick now, look at her!” He scalped, making Alicent flinch. “She is burning! The fever is killing her!”

“It is not, my child.” She said, in a failed attempt to calm him down. “Y/n will be fine… you just have to pray for her health and wellbeing. You won’t even notice and she’ll be healthy again.”

Then, Aegon broke. He stood up from his chair beside the bed and went to hug his mother, hiding his head on the crook of her neck and leaving traces of tears all over her green dress. Alicent hugged him back, stroking his hair and whispering words of consolation.

“I’m scared.” He confessed, whispering. “I can’t lose her, mother. I cannot live without her.”

“You will not lose her.” She said, “She will be fine.”

“She’s not getting better.” He pulled away and looked at his mother. “The Maester even told me, she is too weak already.”

“I’ve seen people living through worse and surviving.”

“You didn’t see what I saw.” He shook his head, “She was coughing blood, mother. Blood!” His lower lip trembled, making his voice sound unsteady. “She’s dying.”

Alicent held his hands, “We should pray together, wouldn’t you like that? Y/n is devoted to the Seven, perhaps this is what she would want.”

Aegon nodded and his mother gave a sweet kiss on his forehead before going at the end of the bed and grabbing their hands. He gave a glance to his wife, she was sleeping soundly, covered with the bedsheets and her hair was spreaded on her pillow. Aegon whined once he saw her poor state, and soon he forced himself to close his eyes and pray with his mother.

He begged them. He asked them to return her health in exchange for everything he had. He offered his title; he never wanted it in the first place, he offered his dragon; he could live without him but not without his wife, he even offered his own life because he knew hers was more worthy than his. She did not deserve to die so young, she was always so full of life, always smiling and laughing, so kind and thoughtful. If someone deserved to die it was him, not her; so he begged the gods to take him instead.

When the next morning came, he woke up in the same chair as always, covered in the same blanket and holding the same hand, but something was different. He could feel it.

He squeezed her hand three times as usual to wake her up, but she did not squeeze it back. Aegon frowned and tried again; the outcome was the same. He tried not to panic or have an early reaction, so she stood up and quickly sat on the bed, right beside her.

“My love?” He said softly, “My love, is time to wake up.” Aegon softly shook her body, yet there was no answer. “Please, my love, let me see those beautiful eyes. Wake up.”

Nothing. Not even a sigh.

Aegon grew desperate by the second and the tears soon started to gather in his eyes, knowing the meaning of this. He never gave up, he was still calling her and moving her body begging for her to react.

“Y/n, please, wake up.” He pledged once again, sobbing, ��I need you to wake up, I need you, please! Please!”

His hand went to her hair to caress it, and he felt the coldness of her forehead. All these past days, her skin was burning, but now it was as cold as ice. Aegon widened his eyes and his hands cupped her face.

“No, no, no.” He muttered, sniffing and whimpering. “Please, don’t. Don’t leave, my love. Please wake up.” His tears fell on her pale face, and he sob loudly. “Y/n, my love, please!” He started to yell, “Don’t do this to me! Wake up!”

His shouting started to concern the guard outside the room, he entered and saw Aegon crying on top of his dead wife’s body, holding her head and stroking her hair while he was uncontrollably sobbing. The guard saw what was happening and he was quick to call the Queen and the Maester, who appeared in the room within minutes.

Alicent gasped once he saw the heartbreaking scene, and soon she started to cry too. Aegon was now holding her body while his face was buried on her chest. He never stopped crying and begging her to wake up. Soft ‘please’ were heard, he was whimpering pledged to her and the Gods, but neither seemed to listen.

“My Prince-”

“Don’t touch her!” He shouted at the Maester once he tried to put his hands on her. “Don’t you fucking dare!”

“Aegon,” Alicent walked towards him, rubbing his back and trying to not sound as if she was crying. “The Maester needs to do his job, please-”

“He killed her!” He accused him, “I will put your fucking useless head on a spike, you idiot cunt!”

“Aegon, that’s enough.” Alicent warned him, “You must let her go, please, my child.”

A group of Silent Sisters entered the room and Aegon’s whole body froze. The ladies started to walk towards the bed while Alicent was pulling him away from it. He started squirming under his mother’s arms, not wanting to be separated from his beloved.

Soon, two guards entered the room and grabbed his arms, forcing him to leave his wife.

“No! No!” He started to move harshly, trying to be set free. “Please, don’t take her! Please! Mother, please!”

“I’m so sorry, my child.” His mother answered.

Aegon saw how her face was covered with the white sheet, and how the Silent Sisters grabbed her body and took her out of the room, he was still fighting against the strong grips that were holding him back.

“Let me go! Please!” He begged again.

Once the Silent Sister left and the bed was empty, the guards let him go. He felt onto his knees, seeing the shape of his wife still marked on the mattress they used to share and the tears came back. His mother stood by his side, and he hugged her hips gripping the gown of her dress and moaning out of pain.

He lost her, the love of his life was gone and there was no one to blame. The Stranger looked back at him with a mocking face and took his wife, leaving him completely alone.

Hours later he found himself staring at her body being wrapped in bandages in order to realize the funeral. He had one bottle filled with wine in his hand, and a piece of bread in the other. He was stumbling because he was already drunk. The Silent Sisters were working, and Aegon was lost in his own grief, looking at the corpse of his wife.

He did not care if she was not a Targaryen, her funeral will be under the Old Valyrian traditions.

“Aegon, you should not be here.”

Aegon did not answer, he did not even bother to look at his mother who just arrived on his side.

“It’s bad luck to see the face of the dead, we cannot be here.” She warned.

He scoffed, taking a large sip from his bottle and then taking a bite from the piece of bread in his hand. He shrugged as if he did not care. And in some way, he didn’t.

“I don’t give a shit.” He muttered, “They have already taken everything from me. They may as well take me if they are merciful enough.”

“Don’t say those things.” Alicent said. She turned around to not look at the corpse anymore, facing his child whose eyes seemed to be stuck on her wife’s body. “Y/n would not like you to die.”

“And what do you know?” He asked mockingly, “You knew nothing about her. None of you did!”

“Aegon, please be quiet. The Gods-”

“Fuck the Gods.”

“Aegon!” She scolded him.

“No, no. Fuck them.” He spat furiously, his eyes were a mixture of sadness and anger. “I begged them, mother. Me and y/n begged them for their mercy.” He started crying again, “When we wanted a child, we begged every fucking night to the Mother, to have a little of compassion towards us and give us the child that we deserved- that she deserved!” He sniffed, looking now at his mother. “Then I begged all of them for her life. And none of them heard me, none of them did!”

“My child…” She tried to hug him, but he took a step back.

“They made me believe that I was safe.” He muttered, “They made me meet her, love her and marry her. They gave me this happiness just so they can steal it away!”

He laughed, a bitter laugh that made Alicent sink in her place. Aegon took the last sip from his cup and threw the bottle away, not caring about the uproarious sound it would make once it fell onto the ground. Then, he turned to his mother once again.

“I couldn’t-” He sighed, trying not to cry. “I couldn’t even give her a child.” He scoffed, “It was all she ever wanted and I couldn’t give it to her.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Aegon.” She tried to console him once again.

“I have nothing left from her.” He said bitterly, “Not even a child that would help me to remember her face. Nothing at all.”

He threw the piece of bread in his hand on the floor, and he left for the gardens; the place where they were always gathered during their youth.

Aegon saw everything with nostalgic eyes filled with tears. His head was aching, his throat too. He had a watery nose thanks to the tears and his heart was feeling shattered. He looked around, finding the tree where they always used to read, the benches where Aegon used to sit down while Lady Arryn would braid his hair. Although the flowers were his breaking point.

He walked close to the small mauve pansies that she always loved. He would always steal one and put her on her hair every time they came to the gardens. She would blush and laugh nervously for the gesture, but he always ended up receiving a small kiss on his cheek for it. That’s why he always did it.

He took one and looked at it with attention, remembering the same petals on her white wedding gown during the happiest day in his life.

He couldn’t help but cry at the memory.

The day of the funeral Aegon did not speak with anyone. Lord Arryn and his other sons —y/n’s brothers— arrived within a week, and then everything was ready for the ceremony.

Sunfyre was in the hills, waiting for the signal of his rider to set fire on the wrapped body. They were all expecting for Aegon to give a speech, to say something about the wife he claimed to love so deeply, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He was too broke, too lost in his grief.

He had a small mauve pansy in his hand, Aemond had told him that it represented the lost love which gave a whole different meaning to it. Aegon heard the speech of his father in law, who was devastated for not taking her illness seriously and leaving her without his company on her last days. Aegon could hear the guilt in his voice, and he would be grateful that at least he was with her during her last breath.

When the time arrived, everyone went silent. Aegon had to pronounce the word, but instead he walked toward the body and stood beside them, letting himself cry in agony for his suffering. Minutes passed and he found himself staring at it for too long.

He took the flower and left it where her ear was supposed to be. This time, however, he did not feel her soft lips against his cheek.

“I will always love you, my sun.” He whispered before walking back to where the rest of the people were.

Aegon stood beside his mother, who rubbed his back in the instant he was close. He took a deep breath and saw the body one last time. He tried to imagine a life without her, without her smile and laughter, without her rosy cheeks and nervous muttering. He couldn’t. A life without her seemed almost impossible.

He imagined a future with her instead, and a thousand pictures would come to his mind. Her raising a child that would be as beautiful as her, her dancing with him on their children's name day, her having long conversations at night with him. He thought so easily about those things because that was what should’ve been; a long life by her side.

But now he was standing in front of everybody, crying and sighing with an agonizing pain on his chest. His voice refused to come out in the first two tries, but on the third, he cleared his throat and accepted his miserable future, without the woman he so deeply loved.

He took a deep breath, and finally said,

“Dracarys.”

#aegon targaryen imagine #aegon x reader #aegon targaryen x you #aegon targaryen x reader #aegon ii targaryen #aegon ii #aegon targaryen #aegon ii targaryen x reader #aegon ii x you #aegon ii targaryen x female reader #aegon ii targaryen x you #hotd au #hotd #house of the dragon #hotd x y/n #hotd x reader #hotd x you #house targaryen

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licorice-tea · 3 months

Text

When The Tide Comes Out

Pairing: Portgas D. Ace x reader

Content: angst, fluff, h/c kind of… also kissing😽

Word Count: 1.1k

A/N: first time writing about Ace!! also i LOVE orville peck and this scenario just fit perfectly with this part of his song, “Blush”! Ace is so like… cowboy adjacent, too, so i think this kind of music is fitting for him! please enjoy and lmk what you think <3

There’s something ‘bout men that I don’t understand

You never would know how Ace did it. The constant solo traveling, having to find a new place to sleep every night, and not knowing where home is. Because, well, his home is a ship. He’s brave and responsible enough to take care of himself- you know that much- but still…

It’s a lifestyle that makes no sense to you.

On the other hand, you’ve never been one to stray far from home. You prefer to stay on your island, only going on the occasional vacation with family or friends. Still, you’ll always know where to come back to when the fun is over. And even then; you’re surrounded by people who carry the same feeling of comfort as your bed would.

Ace doesn’t have that. And he doesn’t seem to need it, either. He races around the globe in search of revenge. He calls it justice, but when you see the fire in his eyes- normally so full of warmth and comfort- you’re confused. It’s a scary look, one that you’d hate to ever see directed towards yourself. But, Ace could never direct such rage toward you. He barely gets to see you, why waste any time on bitter feelings?

Yet, he always leaves you. You’ve opened your door to him countless times; told him he was welcome to stay for as long as he wants. And every time, he chooses to leave after a night or two.

They’re always leaving wherever they’ve been

For what must be the hundredth time, you walk Ace to your front gate. You live in a nice rural area near the beach, and your front yard has its own garden and fish pond. It’s picturesque, and a home that most people (couples, specifically) could only dream of owning someday.

He hugs you tightly, burying his face in your hair with no shame.

“I miss you already.”

“Then stay.”

Ace shakes his head, surely messing up your styling, before he pulls back to face you. “You know I can’t.”

A thought tries to escape your mind, but your lips press together after a second thought. His hands brush a strand from your cheek- and you let him for a moment- but then you catch his wrist. “But you can, Ace.”

Brush it off with a shrug, I don’t know much about love

He sighs and a wince passes over his features; as if he’s in pain. “Let’s not do this right now, baby, please.”

“Don’t you baby me, Ace. You leave me alone for months on end and- and what? I’m supposed to just be content with seeing you for a few weeks out of the whole year?”

“… I’m sorry, I really am.”

This time, you’re the one to sigh and shake your head with a pained expression. “No it’s… I know what you’re doing is important to you.”

“But you’re important to me, too. You’re where home is.” The sentiment squeezes your heart- it feels like it’s about to burst.

“I know.” You try and offer a smile, so at least your last few moments together for god knows how log will be happy ones.

He laughs dryly at your obviously forced smile. Ace feels like he’s failing you, in all honesty, with no solution or viable compromise that will suit both his career as a pirate and the love he wishes to continue growing with you. “I’m not doing too great at this, am I?”

“You’re doing your best.” You pull him back in for another hug, and whisper against him. “I love you, Ace.”

He smiles into your neck. “I love you too.”

Still I give it a try now and then

You’re the first one to let go, pushing him away gently. “Go, before I try and stop you.”

His smile is strained, yet still bright and handsome. “I’ll come back sooner next time, okay?”

“You better. Or else I might have to find a replacement.”

Ace laughs and you giggle along with him. “Nah, I’m not too worried about that.” He presses a sweet kiss into your lips. “I mean it though. I want to make this work, and I want to be here with you.”

This time around, your smile is more genuine. “Then I can’t wait.”

Your hands turn his hips away from you as you playfully push him out the gate and toward the beach. “Now go so you can hurry back!”

The two of you laugh as you run down to where his raft is stationed on the shoreline.

Saddle up and ride on down

“You have my vivre card?”

“Mhm,” you pull it out of your pocket, “and you have mine?”

Ace lifts his hat to show you the card stitched onto it. “Always.”

He pushes the small boat out of the sand, and it floats in place. It’s powered by his own devil fruit, so there’s no concern of it drifting away without its owner. Who, as he turns back to you, gives you a look of longing. After a moment his face moves closer to yours, so you’re both smiling softly and nearly connected at the lips. Ace grips your waist and kisses you. It’s more passionate this time, and full of all the love and desire he has for you that he can fit into one action.

You huff in amusement. “Be safe.”

Ace nods. “I will.”

Maybe when the tide comes out

With reluctance, Ace releases his hold on your sides and wades in the shallow water. First he throws his bag on it, then lifts himself onto the deck of the Striker.

You wave goodbye, and he waves back. Theres a halo of sunlight cast from behind his dark curls and broad shoulders. Then, with a few sparks so as to get further from you and not accidentally burn you, the Striker moves further into the rising water. The realization that it’s high tide washes over you much like the waves themselves. You’re soaked up to your knees by now, but it’s no matter. You would swim across the whole ocean if only to get closer to him.

Ace and the Striker grow smaller and smaller in the distance, but you can still see his arm waving high in the air. You wave back with equal zeal, hopping up and down. His shouts of “I love you!” and “I’ll see you soon!” grow quieter, so you’re not even entirely sure when he stops.

Eventually, once he’s out of your field of vision, you turn back. You walk the same path up the beach- 2 pairs of footsteps still visible in the sand from your trip down to the shore just moments before.

Without your lover’s laughter in your ears, the creak of the gate is nearly deafening.

#fanfic #one piece x reader #one piece #one piece x you #x reader #ace x reader #portgas d ace #portgas ace x reader #portgas ace x you #portgas ace x y/n #angst #ace angst #songfic

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calirph · 16 days

Text

𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄, 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒, 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐎𝐅 𝐁𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐃 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒

All sentences have been taken from different literally, and media sources regarding childhood friends with feelings, former lovers, the one that never got away and the fear of a new love. You can change names, pronouns, locations and more as you see fit.

Can you forget about me?

No. Not if I live to be a hundred.

Then don’t ask me to do what you can’t.

Know that you are a beautiful woman with a beautiful soul and someday you will meet someone amazing, if you haven’t already. Someone that’s going to adore you as much as I always did.

But there will never be anyone else for me. You're it.

It’s us. It always has been.

Why do you speak like we won’t meet again for such a long time?

I don’t think you remember me as well as I remember us.

I never thought of a future without you.

Over the years, we have all seen their love grow. From playmates to sweethearts to bride and groom.

A lot has changed since the days when I used to throw mud in your face... but not everything's changed.

The red string of fate bound us together even then.

Why are old lovers able to become friends? Two reasons. They never truly loved each other, or they love each other still.

You're gone and you left me. My heart has dissipated.

I don't want to forget what we had. Ever.

I thought I was over him.

I realized I’m in love. It's always been right in front of me.

I tried to hate you, to forgive you, all just to forget you, but I'm only capable of loving you.

The more I try to erase you, the deeper you sink in.

I wanted you in my life from the beginning, Mal. Any way I could have you.

I’ve always liked you, from the first moment I saw you.

Don't let happiness slip through your fingers because of old angers and mistakes.

Why would I care what I look like when I’m constantly next to you?

I knew I wasn’t capable of falling in love unless you walked back into my life.

I let you go once. You’re crazy if you think I’m doing that again.

I always knew it was horses that would bring you back.

You’re always thinking about me, even when you’re frowning.

I’m thinking what a fool you are.

You rule my every thought. Even then. I was lying to myself.

You do deserve to dance, wear pretty dresses, and eat fine foods. You are worth celebrating.

When we're in here, when we're together like this, forget about everyone else.

I fancy you, Lauren, more now than ever.

I want you exactly as we've been before and so much more on top of that, too.

You… you’re everything I look for too.

Don’t ask me to give it all up unless that’s really what you want, because I could do it for you.

Forget San Carlo for just one second and tell me what you feel.

I can’t give you up, Lucy. I’m addicted to you, and I’m not strong enough to give you up.

I couldn’t risk someone seeing. The woods have eyes.

There was love in my heart for a boy once before, and it was a love that consumed my entire being.

There. Let the gods of friendship and common sense strike him dead.

There's something to said about smaller bed - you're forced to stay close to me. Where you belong.

There was a moment when we were young where I thought we would be married by now.

Not hard to get at all. Just hard to keep.

I'm trying to be good here, Karlie. But you're making it damn hard to resist.

What would you have me do to prove it?

You're my past, my present, and my future.

Say yes. Open your eyes, see that it's me, and say yes.

Why did you kiss me?

There's nothing to say.

Why are you looking at me like that?

You shouldn’t touch me.

We can't keep going on like this.

Back then, I always hoped. . .you know.

#meme #roleplay memes #sentence meme #( cali meme. )#rp memes #rp prompt #rp musings #roleplay prompt #◟ ⋆ memes › roleplay sources.#childhood lovers meme #former lovers meme

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multifandomsw · 9 months

Text

Apologies

Harry Styles x Reader

summary: After an encounter with your old best friend, she gave you her number to catch up. When you decide to send her a message, someone else replies. Was it destiny?

warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of alcohol, Harry himself

author’s note: I feel like you’ll either like this or hate this. My writing is quite shitty, but who cares? Once again, a big thank you to @manrocket-mo who helped me out SO MUCH. I love our chats 🤭

Part 6

Apologies masterlist

“London is so beautiful.”, you breathed out as you and Lucy walked through the city, your arm linked with hers. You were absolutely mesmerized by the buildings and their architecture. London just felt different. Different in a good way. A deep contrast to the small town where you were from. It felt like the minute you landed in London, you were already feeling better, happier and safer.

“It is.”, Lucy smiled. You had met up with her a few times and got quite close to her. It was mostly her who spoke, but you began to open up to her too. She was really nice and seemed like a person you could trust.

A real friend. For once.

You had learned quite a bit about Lucy. She worked at her parent’s firm and earned very much money. She loved to spend said money, especially on clothes and bags. Lucy had just broken up with her boyfriend of four years a month ago and was currently living alone. She was an extrovert and loved the attention, but also liked staying at home and watch Netflix. Most importantly, she was a great friend. Lucy always listened to you and had never once interrupted you. She already cared about you and had even offered you to stay at her apartment.

You stayed at an old and cheap Airbnb until you found an apartment in London, which turned out not to be easy at all. They were either too expensive or way too small and nothing seemed fitting.

“Did you think about my offer?”, Lucy raised her eyebrows expectingly while you just sighed. “I wouldn’t even be able to pay the rent. It’s a very kind offer, but-“

“There’s no rent to pay.”, Lucy grinned at you. “It’s my apartment, I inherited it from my grandparents.”

“Lucy-“, you began, but she interrupted you quickly. “You need a place to stay at and I’d love to have a roommate. It’s been very lonely lately.”, she admitted and lowered her head.

How could you say no to that?

“Okay.”, you gave in. “But I’m gonna pay you. Somehow”

Lucy only rolled her eyes. “If you say so.”

You: I found a place to stay at

H: You did? Finally!

You: Lucy offered me to stay at her place

You: After she begged me for days, I finally gave in

You: She’s a really great friend

H: I’m happy for you

H: How’s London?

You: You should know, don’t you live here?

H: I do, but I travel a lot with my band. I wish I could be in London more often

You: I wish we could meet up. Someday.

H: We will, I promise.

H: After finishing this tour.

You: What’s your band called anyway?

H: I’ll tell you soon enough

You: That’s so unfair! You’re always so secretive.

You: You even know what I look like

H: I promise you’ll find out

H: The time’s just not right yet

You: If you say so.

H: Cherry

You: No, I trust you. Like you said.

H: Thank you

H: So how’s London truly?

You: Absolutely mesmerizing!

H: It is :)

H: I have a few favorite places that I feel like you’ll like

You: Ohh that sounds promising, H

H: You should definitely go to Columbia Road Flower Market

H: It’s one of my favorite places ever

You: I didn’t know you like flowers

H: I love flowers, they’re beautiful

H: But I have to warn you

H: None of them will compare to your beauty

You: STOP

You: You’re making me blush

The first thing that you noticed as you walked into Lucy’s apartment was its smell. The sweet scent of vanilla filled your nose and immediate comfort washed over you.

It smelled just like Lucy.

You looked around and observed that the apartment was giant, yet the first word that came to your mind that would perfectly describe it was cozy.

The living room with its big windows was well lit and you noticed the sun peeking through the curtains. When you stepped forward, the sun hit your face and warmth spread through your body. You pushed the curtains aside and your eyes widened as you came into view with Big Ben. “Wow.”, you let out and took a picture.

“That’s not what I expected.”, you chuckled as your gaze moved to the piano in the corner of the living room. “Is this yours?”, you questioned, but Lucy only shook her head. “They are-“, she began, but stopped mid-sentence. “A friend of mine used to live here for a while. He never took his piano with him.”

You snorted. “Did you think about giving it back to him?”, you asked. “No, trust me when I say he has enough money to buy a new one. He probably doesn’t even realize it’s still here. Besides, I love practicing on it.”

“You play the piano?”, you wanted to know and Lucy chuckled. “I’m trying my best.”, she explained and led you to the guest room. “Here’s where you will stay.”

You grinned at her. The room was plain and only consisted of a twin size bed and a closet. But you would make it yours. Eventually.

You: 📷

You: You can see Big Ben from her apartment!

H: What a great view

H: Which reminds me..

H: 📷

H: This is the bookstore you told me about, isn’t it?

You: No way! I’m so jealous! I’ve been dreaming about visiting Shakespeare and Company FOR YEARS

You: Why are you in Paris??

H: My band has a small concert here today

You: Oh! Good luck!

H: Thanks, Chérie

You: Aww

You: Is Paris as beautiful as people say it is?

H: Even more beautiful

H: Everything reminds me of you

You: I’m smiling STOP

H: Then I’ll never stop

You: La ville de l’amour

H: The city of love indeed

You: And have you found love yet, H?

H: Yes

H: But not in Paris

You let out a giddy laugh, but clasped your hand over your mouth only moments later, hoping that Lucy hadn’t heard you as you had yet to tell her about H.

You looked around your new room once more, before you decided to put your clothes in the closet.

You opened the closet which was filled with some old clothes. One sweater in particular caught your attention. You almost let out a snort as you saw that it was an old One Direction sweater with their faces on it. “I didn’t know you were a One Direction fan.”, you laughed.

“What?”, Lucy called out and made her way to your room. Her face was filled with confusion, but when her eyes landed on the sweater, realization washed over her face. “Oh. I used to be a fan. Not anymore, though.”, she admitted shyly.

You only giggled in response. “I like it.”, you admitted and Lucy simply shrugged. “You can keep it if you want, I don’t wear it anymore.”

You grinned at her. “Great.”, you let out and buried your nose into the sweater. The scent instantly hit your nose. It smelled like a forest in spring after it had just rained, like fresh flowers and grass. It smelled like home.

And it most certainly didn’t smell like Lucy.

“He called again.”, Lucy complained and you looked up from your hot chocolate. You were sitting in a small café that H had told you about and you absolutely loved it. It was not too crowded, very cozy and affordable. You’d have to thank him later.

“Who?”, you raised your eyebrows and it was clear that you had not listened. “My ex!”, Lucy groaned and realization hit you. “He’s still calling you? That means he must care for you.”

Lucy let out a brutal laugh. “If caring for me means cheating on me with one of my closest friends, then yes.”

You pressed your lips together and lowered your head. “Oh.”, you let out. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know-“

“No.”, Lucy interrupted you. “Not your fault-“, her sentence was cut short when a girl came up to you. She smiled at you and her eyes lit up. “Hey, aren’t you y/n? Can I take a picture with you?”, the girl asked sweetly and you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. When you looked at Lucy, she only shrugged her shoulders. “How-“, you gulped. “How do you know me?”

The girl giggled. “You’re jesting. You’re all over the internet!”

“What?”, you let out and the girl looked at you quizzically before pulling out her phone and showing you some Tweets.

They were all about you. About the conversation you and Harry Styles had at his concert. Pictures of your face were all over Twitter, some were making fun of your appearance while other were speculating whether you and Harry Styles-

You couldn’t even finish the thought because it was so ridiculous. There was no world, no universe and no galaxy where Harry Styles, one of the most famous singers of your time, would like you. The people were jealous for no reason. It was so ridiculous that you almost let out a hysterical laugh.

Almost.

Because this was your worst nightmare. Your face was all over the internet. Everyone knew how you looked like, everyone saw your flaws, your insecurities. You hated it, you absolutely hated it and almost smashed the girl’s phone into the wall.

Almost.

“No, no. I don’t-“, you tried to stay strong, but the way your voice cracked at the end gave you away. “He just talked to me. I don’t even know him.”, you clarified and watched as the girl’s face fell. “Oh.”, she let out and left.

You tried to blink away the tears that were almost leaving your eyes.

Almost.

Before Lucy could even say anything, you packed your things. “Hey.”, Lucy began and you shook your head. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”, you let out, trying to convince yourself more than her.

“What just happened?”, she desperately wanted to know and your eyes locked with hers. She watched you with a concerned look on her face. “Harry Styles talked to me at the concert I was at and told you about. Which is, as a matter of fact, nothing special, he always interacts with his fans. But somehow, my interaction with him and my face is all over the internet.”

“Which is your worst nightmare.”, Lucy added and you nodded, letting a tear fall freely. “I hate the attention, the criticism.”

Lucy reached out and grabbed your hand. “The internet will forget, I promise. You have nothing to worry about.”, she tried to console you and you almost believed her.

Almost.

You didn’t leave the apartment for days. Because you were afraid. Afraid that people would recognize you and try to talk to you on the street, afraid that people would make fun of you.

Afraid of people.

It was quite lonely, but the Netflix shows and the smell of Lucy’s sweater, that you hadn’t taken off for days, distracted you and calmed you just a little.

You hated it. You hated that you were afraid. You hated that you cried yourself to sleep everyday. You hated that you even cared about it.

Sometimes you wished you could be just like Lucy. She wouldn’t care about those Tweets, she would be able to ignore them and never think of them again.

In your case, however, the Tweets were imprinted on your brain and would never leave it, regardless of what you tried.

Suddenly, your door opened and revealed Lucy with some clothes in her hand. “Hey.”, she greeted you. “Let’s get you out of bed.”

You groaned when she switched on the light. “What?”, you asked and she smirked at you. “We’re going out. I can’t see you moping around in your room any longer.”

“Going out where?”

“To the club.”, she explained as if you already knew about it. Lucy held out a black dress that you could already tell was quite revealing. “Do you like it?”

“Oh, no, no. We’re not going to the club.”, you refused, but Lucy looked at you with pleading eyes. “I haven’t made out with someone in ages. I need to get my mind off of my ex.”, she began, but you were not convinced yet. “Besides, the alcohol will make you forget about what happened.”

This. This sounded better. “It will?”, you raised your eyebrows in suspicion. “If you drink enough. Please. I can’t see you all sad anymore. I care bout you.”

This. This is where she had you. “Okay.”, you agreed and almost laughed when you saw the smirk on Lucy’s face.

“Stop fumbling with your dress!”, Lucy laughed and you simply groaned in return. “This can not be considered a dress anymore. It’s so short!”, you complained and Lucy shrugged her shoulders. “Might get you some attention. I don’t even know much about your love life.”

“There’s nothing to know. It’s non-existent.”, you explained as you both made your way to the bar and asked the bartender for something to drink. “We could change that.”, she giggled and you only rolled your eyes. “What? I mean look at you! You look great.”

You had to admit, you did look kinda good. She had put much effort into applying your make up and curling your hair. The outfit also did certainly not look bad on you.

Still, you felt ridiculous. This wasn’t you and you just didn’t feel confident in your skin, not like Lucy.

“Only because you want to get laid tonight, doesn’t mean I do.”

Lucy let out a gasp. “I never said-“, she stopped mid-sentence. “Well, I might have said that. But I wouldn’t leave you alone.”

“You can. I understand that you want to forget your ex.”

You looked around and were reminded why you hated clubs so much. For once, it was filled to the brim and very hot. People were dancing on the dance floor without caring about the others. There was a lot of pushing and pulling and the air smelled like sweat. Just sweat.

The music was so loud that you could hardly even hear what Lucy said, or as a matter of fact what you said. But maybe Lucy was right. This would at least get your mind off of everything that had happened.

It was after your third drink that you felt the alcohol pumping through your system. The room seemed to be spinning and your giggles started to last a little longer than usual.

“I just- I’m so thankful that you took me out. I love getting drunk!”, you let out a giddy laugh and talked a little faster than usually. “After everything that happened. Especially at the concert.”, you continued and let out an exaggerated sigh.

Lucy, who was definitely not a light-weight like you, watched you in amusement. “What happened at the concert?”, she questioned. She knew that something must have happened, at least that’s what Harry told her. But he didn’t know what exactly took place.

“My old best friend and her boyfriend tricked me. He pretended to like me, and I didn’t know it was her boyfriend and asked me if I want to go to a concert with him. I agreed to, of course, because he even called it a date and who wouldn’t want to go out with a handsome guy, I mean how often do you get the chance-“, you were interrupted when Lucy cleared her throat. You were ranting.

“Right. Yes. Well, they showed up together and Lucy told said some mean things to me, like that Harry only talked to me because I’m so ugly and I even believed it, well believe it, because look at me? Why would Harry Styles talk to me? Well she said no one would ever like me and I kinda believe her because no one has ever liked me.”, your heart suddenly clenched in your chest at that memory. It all came crashing down again, your heartbreak, your insecurities, the feeling of not being good enough. The alcohol had made you happy, but you realized it was not enough yet. Before you continued, you took another large sip of your drink.

“I’m sorry-“, Lucy began, but as you felt the alcohol in your system again, you giggled. “No need to be sorry. I think someone likes me, well at least I like him. Funny story actually, I met this guy by accident because Jules gave me the wrong number. He’s so mysterious, it’s insane! I don’t even know how he looks like, but we’ve been writing for months and I really like him. Like like him. Maybe even more than liking him, I kinda have feelings for him and don’t say anything! I know that I don’t even know how he looks like, but he’s just so sweet and caring and he always send me pictures of things that remind him of me.”

Lucy bit her cheek and tried not to say anything, at least she had promised Harry not to. But this was good. Lucy now knew that you liked him too. Maybe not as much as Harry liked you, because he was basically obsessed with you, but quite a bit. She grinned at you. “That’s good. I’m happy for you.”

Harry was exhausted. He wasn’t exhausted because of his flight to London, though, no Harry was mentally exhausted because of you.

Well, not particularly because of you, but because of the fact that he felt you drifting away. It was Lucy that told him about a girl recognizing you, it was Lucy who told him that you stayed in your room for days, it was Lucy who you seemingly trusted more than him.

He wished it was him. He wished you would have told him all the things. Instead, you had pretended and acted like everything was fine, even after he had asked you multiple times.

Harry just wanted to help you, just wanted you to trust him. He wanted to call you his.

He began to resent his life, if he wasn’t Harry Styles, if he wasn’t one of the most popular singers, he could love you properly. He wanted to, so desperately wanted to tell you the truth. He even gave you a few hints here and there, but he was afraid. Afraid that you wouldn’t forgive him for lying to you.

“Harry?”, a voice interrupted his thoughts and Harry raised his head, shooting Sarah, who was sitting on Mitch’s lap, a confused look. “Hm?”

He could barely look at them. Not because he wasn’t happy for them, no, he was beyond happy for his friends, but because he craved what they had. He craved that deep, real and unconditional love they had.

“Your phone is ringing.”, she pointed to his phone that was lying on the table in front of him.

Harry only shrugged his shoulders, not even looking at the name on the screen. “Can’t be that important.”

Sarah shot Mitch a knowing look, before she spoke again. “This one might be.”

Harry sighed, but when he glanced down, his heart almost stopped.

Cherry.

You. You were calling him. Before he could even think, he picked up the call and held his breath for a second.

“Cherry?”, he whispered, keeping his voice down.

“H?”, your sweet voice answered and Harry’s heart surely stopped for a few seconds. He turned to Sarah with wide eyes, who only offered him a smile in return.

Before he could realize what he was doing, he was bolting out of the room and standing in the hallway of his apartment. “What- are you okay?”

“More than okay.”, you giggled and it was now that Harry noticed the loud music and people chattering in the background. “It’s just so unfair, H, I mean, I don’t know what you look like and I- I like you. It’s insane, you could look like a gorilla and I’d still like you.”, you slurred and Harry’s feelings were all over the place. For once, his heart was speeding in his chest at your confession. You liked him. You liked him. However, concern quickly overpowered the feeling of happiness shooting through his body.

“Are you drunk?”, he asked in distress.

“God- even your voice sounds hot.”

“Cherry, stop.”, he warned, his voice getting lower. You couldn’t distract him. Not now. Not when you were drunk and probably alone somewhere in London.

“Where are you, Cherry?”, he demanded, already running up to his room and putting on a black hoodie and sunglasses.

“Cherry?”, he tried again. “At a club. It’s so cool here! Lucy said it’s her favorite club.”

Harry let out a breath of relief. You were with Lucy and he knew what Lucy’s favorite club was. “But she’s away making out with a guy right now.”

Oh no.

No. No. No.

Harry quickly grabbed his car keys. “It feels so good getting drunk. Wait, let me order another drink!”

“Cherry?”

“Cherry! Hear me out. Stay were you are. I’m picking you-“, before Harry could finish his sentence, you hung up.

“Fuck!”, he let out before he stepped into his Ferrari.

The moment he stepped into the club, the hot air hit him. For a second, Harry regretted wearing a thick hoodie. But then he remembered that he had to. He didn’t want to get recognized, especially not today.

Harry scanned the dance floor for you, suddenly reminded of when he did the same thing at his concert. Searching for you in a crowd of people. He had found you back then and he was confident that he would find you today.

His eyes trailed to the bar where he saw a figure talking to the bartender-

The moment he saw you, everything else suddenly didn’t matter anymore. He forgot about the people around him, about the loud music, about the way he was sweating furiously.

Harry could only stare at you. You were wearing a black dress that was hugging your body perfectly. Your hair was curled and god-

Your smile. It was contagious. He let out a small laugh himself.

Until he realized who your smile was directed to.

Before he could even realize what he was doing, he was walking up to you and gently grabbed your arm, instantly gaining your attention.

You turned around to him quickly and Harry was absolutely mesmerized. God, he was so enraptured by your beauty. Your eyes were a bit glossed over, but shining nonetheless. Your cheeks were a slight pink color and he had to fight the urge to cup them with his hands. His eyes moved down to your lips, only once, but it was enough for him to know that he wanted to kiss you. Right then and there. He wanted to feel your smooth lips moving against his-

“Hi!”, you giggled and Harry could swear it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. He had to shake his head and gather his thoughts again, remembering the reasons why he was even here.

Harry gulped. “Hey.”

“Are you my boyfriend?”, you tilted your head to the side, admiring his features.

Harry bit his cheek, hard. He wished, with every fiber of his being, that he could say yes. He wished that you were his.

“No.”, Harry admitted defeatedly. “Not yet.”, he added quickly.

“Oh.”, you answered and reached out to take off his sunglasses. The moment your fingers touched his face, Harry could feel a spark.

Your eyes met his and he saw how your face changed into something different. Adoration maybe?

“I’m sad you’re not. You are so beautiful.”, you breathed out and it was the end for Harry. He wanted to fall to his knees and ask you to marry him right then and there.

No one had ever called him beautiful before. Not to his face.

He let out a chuckle and lowered his head as he felt the blush creeping up his face. You would be the death of him.

Harry shook his head, trying to get rid off his thoughts.

His eyes moved away from your face and to the drink next to you. He could practically feel the men watching you and he was more than happy that no one had approached you yet. “Hey, you should keep your drink in your hands and don‘t look away from it. There are many vile men who would take advantage of that.”, he explained and you nodded. “Sorry.”

“No need to apologize.”

“Sorry.”

Harry sighed. “Where’s Lucy?”

“Oh.”, he watched as your face lit up. “You know Lucy?”, you squeaked out. “She’s great! Well, she’s probably in one of the bathroom stalls having sex-“

“Okay. We’re gonna stop right there.”, he interrupted you and bit his lip. “How about this: you’re gonna stay right where you are and I’m going to find Lucy. Then I’ll bring you home. How does that sound?”

He watched as you hesitated for a second, but then gave in. “Okay, stranger.”

It was minutes after that he found Lucy in a quiet corner making out with some guy. “Lucy.”, Harry called out and Lucy stopped kissing the guy. “Hm?”, she let out and her eyes widened when she saw Harry.

“Harry? What are you doing here?”, she wanted to know as the guy kissed down her neck. “This is not a good time.”, she continued, but when she saw Harry’s stern face, she knew she was in trouble and who this was about.

“Why would you take her to the club and leave her alone completely drunk? God knows how many drinks she had.”, Harry argued.

“She can take care of herself.”, Lucy shrugged her shoulders.

“Lucy.”, Harry repeated. “She hates clubs. She absolutely hates them. You should know this. How did you even get her to go with you?”

Lucy smirked at Harry. “I told her she could forget her troubles if she gets drunk.”

It took a lot of self control for Harry not to shout at Lucy.

Harry’s delicate heart, though, squeezed in his chest. You’d rather get drunk than talk to him, to H, about what had happened?

You meant so much to him, but Harry started to doubt if you even liked him back. “She could have talked to me!”

“I can’t believe you left her alone at the club! You should’ve stayed at her side instead of-“

“Harry.”

“No, you should’ve-“

“Harry.”, Lucy repeated and it was only then that Harry stopped, his eyes following hers.

Great. Someone was trying to talk to you.

“This is not over.”, he hissed out, before he made his way to you. A guy, probably a head taller than him, was leaning dangerously close to you.

Harry softly called your name, your real name, before he put his arm around you. “Stay away from my girlfriend.”, he warned and the guy put his hands up in surrender before leaving. “I thought you weren’t my boyfriend.”, you acknowledged as your eyelids grew heavier. “He simply wanted to talk to me!”

“Oh, trust me, he didn’t.”

“Can you stand?”, Harry asked and you nodded your head confidently. “Of course I can! Why wouldn’t I-“, as you took your first step, your body swayed and you fell into Harry’s arms.

Harry laughed and slung his arm around you. “Doesn’t look like it.”, he chuckled as he led you to out of his club and to his car.

“I promise you can trust me. I know Lucy. I’ll bring you home safely, okay?”, he stated. “Okay.”, you answered tiredly as you got into the passenger seat. Harry leaned over you, buckling you up before he got into the driver’s seat and started the car.

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

Harry glanced at you and saw how the moonlight perfectly illuminated your face. You looked like an angel. It was hard. So hard to keep his eyes on the road when he just wanted to look at your face.

“No.”, he scoffed.

“Why not?”

Harry hummed. “It’s complicated.”

“Soooo..”, you began. “Are you in love then?”, you asked and Harry grinned, his dimples very much evident on his face.

“I think I am.”, he started, but found the statement not quite fitting. “I know I am.”, he continued. “Are you?”

“It’s complicated.”, you mimicked his earlier words and Harry only rolled his eyes.

“Oh, complicated?”, he raised his eyebrows and reached out to turn on the radio.

He stopped breathing when he heard the first tunes of his own song, of Cherry, starting to play.

“No, not that song. Can you switch channels?”

His heart broke right then and there, but he changed the channel nonetheless. “What’s wrong with the song?”

Harry spared you a glance and saw that you were at the brink of tears. He reached down to hold your hand in his, but you quickly pulled away to wipe away your tears.

“It just reminds me of bad things. Everything Harry Styles related does. I mean he’s a great singer but I can’t stand to listen to his music anymore- hey! Did you see the bird?”

Harry let out a shaky breath, his heart squeezing in his chest. No, no, no, this couldn’t be happening. Cherry used to be your favorite song, he added it to the set list because of you. It had slowly become his favorite song, too.

“I’m so exhausted.”, you whined, but Harry let out an annoyed sigh. “I know, but you need to change. Sleeping in this dress will be so uncomfortable-“, he began, but stopped mid-sentence when he saw that you were slowly closing your eyes.

“Great.”, he whispered, not sure what he should do. “Okay. Breathe, Harry. Pretend this is one of your friends.”, he tried to assure himself, looking at your sleeping face while he unzipped your dress. He slowly pulled the dress down, keeping his eyes on your face and not looking down once. Harry took off his hoodie and the shirt he wore underneath it before he helped you put on his shirt. The way Harry tried to put on the shirt without looking down would probably be a bit awkward to watch, but Harry managed to do it anyways.

Harry draped the blanket on you and tucked you in properly before he sat down next to your bed and let the breath he had been holding out.

He felt like his insides were being squeezed together, like someone had taken all his air and he could barely breathe. His heart was beating impossibly fast and he was aware of his sweaty palms.

“H.”, you mumbled and Harry’s eyes widened. “Y/n?”, he whispered, but your eyes were closed. Were you.. dreaming about him?

Harry knew that he couldn’t watch you forever, that he’d eventually have to go, but he didn’t want this moment to end. He wanted to watch you forever.

He brushed some of your hair out of your face before he leaned down and pressed a kiss to you forehead, his lips lingering maybe a bit too long. “I’ll always take care of you, I promise.”

taglist: @st-ev-ie @hsstylesrings @bubblespower101 @ravisinghs-wife @mopeymousey @shishcabobsworld @stylesfever @valntynebaby @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @harryspirate @xxlunathewitchxx @hannah9921 @fingermonkey101 @amateurduck @babyiamperfectforyou @ravisinghs-wife @creativelyeva @fanficismydrug @manrocket-mo @crimeshowjunkie @lomlolivia @pagesfalling @harryssky1 @buckybarnessimpp @melancholy-help @annesauriol @tea-and-toast463 @sheslikeacurse @kuntxrgraudunkelbunt @white-wolf-buckaroo @itsgigikay

#harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader

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ang3l-fac33 · 1 month

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I have a request for a singfic with Lucifer and either a male or gn reader who’s a lounge singer who works at the hotel. They have been dating for a bit but the relationship is still kind of new so Lucifer tries to still hide his Depressive episodes from the reader because he doesn’t want to burden his partner. The partner can always tell when he’s having one though and wants to console him that it’s okay for Luci to open up to them.

One day during a particularly bad mental day for Luci where he’s scared the reader will realise how much better the reader can do then him and leave him, and the reader uses their singing as a means of quelling those fears and that they aren’t going anywhere and are more then happy to help him during his Depressive episodes because Luci’s their partner and they want to take care of him and support him.

I recently came across a song that makes me thing of this scenario called “Someday” sung by Spencer Day particularly the end when he sings about how he’ll be there for Luci for eternity and he hopes Luci will realize this someday. I wish I could link the song but I don’t really know how to link music.

lucifer x male! singer! reader. (always and forever)

genre: hurt/ comfort, fluff.

—

lucifer sighed as he rested his chin on the palm of his hand, gazing over at the stage where you often sung from where he sat at the bar, which was all the way on the other side of the room.

he wasn’t drinking anything, just sitting there as he watched a crowd form by the stage. the hotel had managed to get quite a crowd tonight which was pretty impressive due to the hotel’s reputation.

you were really talented in the singing genre so he wasn’t all that surprised that you managed to draw in such a large amount of people, wether they chose to stay at the hotel afterwards or not.

husk had left his position some time ago, leaving lucifer by himself with just his self deprecating thoughts. it had been a hard day for him and all he wanted to do right now was to curl up in your arms and cry.

but he couldn’t do that.. you deserved so much better than him and his pathetic self. all he was waiting for was for you to realize it and dump his sorry ass. he was nothing compared to you. you were smart, beautiful, kind.. he could just go on and on.

and what was he? absolutely nothing. the status of king of hell didn’t really mean anything when he did nothing with it. he felt like no king, just some sad and pathetic man. you’d see that at some point and he was dreading it.

the sound of soft music beginning to play snapped him out of his own hateful thoughts, and his eyes were once again brought back towards the stage where you now took place in, looking as beautiful as ever.

some sinners clapped while others whistled, and you smiled kindly as you picked up the microphone and began to sing, making the sinners pipe down to listen. your voice was as angelic as ever, so very soft and gentle. it was enough to soothe even the restless of sinners.

a stab of pain hit him in his chest as he watched, feeling absolutely terrible. the thought and sight of seeing so many sinners be enthralled by your voice alone, maybe even your looks. he knew that sometimes you would get offers from others to take you out, rather it be a restaurant date or to simply take you home.

but for some reason you never did. you always declined, saying that you had a partner already. but someday you would find the right one, someone way better than him and run away with said person.

you continued to sing even when you’re eyes locked on lucifer’s from across the room. your smile instantly brightened as you gave him a wink, still singing.

he cringes, not wanting you to see him when he felt like this. he often tried to hide how he felt but for some reason you were too good at spotting out when he was upset. he just wanted your eyes off of him for tonight.

he gave a half hearted and slightly pained smile in return before looking away, aware of your lingering gaze as you continued to sing. damnit, he totally gave himself away. he already knew you knew he wasn’t doing good just by his forced smile.

panicking, the only thing he could think of was to run upstairs and to his room, which he proceeded to do.

—

your smile immediately faded from your lips as you saw lucifer run upstairs, and an uneasy feeling settled in your stomach. you paused the song, making the sinners watching grumble in confusion and anger.

you ignored the confused chirping of the sinners below and headed off the stage and up the stairs. you could hear charlie, who had been watching, call your name, but you paid no mind. your only focus was seeing what was going on with lucifer.

—

lucifer groaned to himself as he flopped down on his bed, putting his face in his hands. why did he react like that? why couldn’t he have just smiled and moved on. now you were going to be worried and would waste time on him.

tears welled up in his eyes, and his bottom lip trembled. he hated how he was about to cry over something like this. it was pathetic, the king of hell in his room crying? what a joke. it was just another reason why he was afraid you would find so much better.

suddenly there was a soft knock at the door, startling lucifer out of his spiral. he wiped the upcoming tears from his eyes and scrambled off the bed, all while trying to make himself look as presentable as possible.

with a deep breath he opened the door, putting on his best charming smile as he could. but.. it immediately faltered when he saw who was on the other side. a flash of panic crossed his face, and his body tensed. what the hell? he wasn’t expecting you to chase after him!

you stood there, arms crossed, a stern yet worried look on your face. “luci..” you began in a much softer tone than the look on your face, stepping forward. he inhaled sharply and looked away, feeling the familiar sting in his eyes start up again.

“yes, darling?..” he spoke, his voice a bit wobbly. he was once again trying to hide how upset he was, but as always you could see right past it. “shouldn’t you be singing right now? you never got to finish your song, aha..”

you remained silent as you took another step forward, your hand coming up to rest on his cheek. lucifer inhaled sharply, and he had to resist the urge to lean into your touch. after a moment you sighed.

“let me in, please?”

lucifer bit his lip. he knew that if he let you in he would end up breaking down, because for some reason you always had that affect on him. but how could he say no to you? you were always his sort of weakness.

so with a sigh, he stepped aside and let you in. you hummed as you walked deeper into the room, settling yourself on the edge of his bed. “..do you want to talk about it?” you asked quietly after a moments silence.

lucifer moved to sit next to you, but made sure to keep his distance. “it’s just that..” he cuts himself off with a sigh, trying to figure out what he even wanted to say. there was a lot of things in his head right now.

you gave a gentle smile and rested your hand on top of his, letting him know that you were going to be patient and listen to whatever he had to say. and that’s what seemed to finally make him outwardly break.

in an instant the tears he had been holding back finally fell from his face and down his eyes, his breath hitching. you drew your hand back with a look of surprise, but was quick to pull him in your arms.

you gently stroke his hair soothingly as he cries into your arms, letting him get everything out. “i’m scared that you’re going to find someone better than me and then i’ll be all alone again.” he finally admits.

this made you pause, your body tensing. you knew that he went through these bad depressive episodes but you never knew this is what he thought.. you were quiet for a few seconds, just sitting there as you thought of what to do. you wanted to reassure him, to be there and make sure he knew you would never leave.

“it’s a shame that my love won’t come, so you.” you began to sing, your voice soft and comforting, something that got lucifer’s attention instantly.

“tender words keep you running away.” you sing softly, wiping the tears from his eyes with your thumbs. he sniffles, looking up at you, making you smile.

you pull him even closer, and lucifer instantly melts into your hold. your singing mixed with his horrible day was making him quite tired, and he had no energy to protest.

“it’s a shame no one ever told you, but i hope you believe it one day. because you shine like the stars in the evening, and you’re as soft as the break day.”

lucifer felt emotional all over again but in a good way this time. he hadn’t recognized the song, but the sweet and tender words were enough to bring tears back to his eyes.

you stroked his hair gently, closing your eyes as you continued to soothe your upset partner. “its a shame that you don’t see it, but i hope you’ll believe it someday.”

as you continued to sing the rest of the song lucifer grew more and more relaxed in your arms, listening to your angelic voice, feeling his eyelids grow heavy. he didn’t even realize that you had finished the song until you spoke in your normal voice.

“i’m never going to leave, luci. you’re the only one for me. i love you dearly.”

lucifer suddenly felt a wave of calmness wash over him, almost as if all his fears and worries vanished. it was a little startling, but not unwelcomed. the tears had long dried on his face, and his tense body had relaxed.

you had switched to humming now, watching as lucifer slowly started to fall asleep. “i love you..” the king of hell mumbled, looking up at you with tired but loving eyes.

you smiled and leaned down, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “i love you too.” and with that, lucifer had fallen asleep feeling loved and comforted.

you knew that the people downstairs would be pissed that you just left mid song, but you didn’t care. they could wait a while.

#lucifer morningstar x reader #hazbin lucifer #lucifer morningstar #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel #lucifer magne

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ceruleanwhore · 1 year

Text

So I’ve seen a lot of headcanons and fics floating around the Cybird/Ikemen fandom spaces about pregnancy or having children, but I have yet to see any childfree content at all, as @sevenai pointed out in a post they made about ikevamp. As such, I’ve put together a list of childfree headcanons for all the ikevamp men for those of us who want such things.

Napoleon — After the tragedy of his only legitimate son’s premature death during his life, I think it’s perfectly plausible that he would not want to try to produce another child of his own. Besides, the children he teaches with Isaac do more than enough to fill the void and warm his heart. I imagine that, at some point, the topic of children would come up and, when his partner would nervously disclose that she doesn’t actually want to have any of their own, he would feel relief.

Leo — Being in a relationship with anyone at all (especially a human) is already more than enough heartbreak, I don’t think he could handle producing a child of his own that he would then have to watch die someday even though no parent should ever outlive their child.

Mozart — This man is obsessive about cleanliness and absolutely cannot tolerate noise. There’s no way in hell he’s ever having a kid.

Arthur — He had five children in his life and so I feel like, for him, he’s already done that and sufficiently fulfilled that desire, so now he doesn’t feel the need to do it over again in this second life. I think he’d be willing to give it a go if that’s what his partner wanted, but I also think he’d be just as content not to.

Vincent — I get that in ikevamp he’s a sweet boy, but he has a past full of tremendous mental health struggles, and I think he’d be afraid of passing that to any potential children. I also think he would be worried about his ability to care for a child.

Isaac — Dude’s already worried he’s going to snack on Comte’s ferret or something, like being in a relationship with a human is PLENTY for him to worry about. Also, he’s a good person who views himself as a dangerous monster, which means he definitely won’t be having kids any time soon. Plus, like Napoleon, he has their little gaggle that they teach and that is genuinely plenty for him. Yeah, I think he’d be perfectly happy to have his partner tell him that there is no desire for children on their part.

Theo — I think he’d be more apathetic about children, where he doesn’t really have a desire for them but he would be willing to have kids if that’s what his partner wanted. He already has his partner, his bother, and his career, and that is more than enough for him to be happy.

Jean — First off, Jean is 19. Secondly, he hates himself and what he is, like Carlisle from Twilight. Maybe he would’ve wanted kids in life, but there is no way in hell he’d want to create half vampire spawn.

Will — Given that he was always running away from his wife and kids in his life, I think it’s safe to assume he never wanted them, even before he died. I think, given the context of his real marriage with Anne, he would be grateful to discover that his partner doesn’t want to have kids with him and it would be another indicator to him that this relationship is actually a good match.

Comte — I think he has no desire of his own for children and I also think he is hella devoted to whoever he chooses to be in a relationship with and will do anything to make them happy, so even if he did want kids he still would 100% fold to a childfree partner. There’s also that element of tragedy like with Leonardo that we’ll also see with Vlad.

Dazai — He’s either actively suicidal or very recently got better and definitely does not feel like he has the capacity to care for a child. Also, someone who hates themselves so much they’d choose to become a vampire solely so they could live long enough to kill their infant self is definitely not going to want to reproduce. Like Isaac, he sees himself as dangerous and I don’t think he would trust himself with something like having kids and I think that being in a relationship is already massively stressful for him.

Sebastian — He has a terminal illness, so there could be concern about passing whatever it is to any future children. He also probably would just not want to have to subject children to dealing with his inevitable, premature death. Even without all that, like if he can get magically cured by Faust or something, I don’t really see him actively wanting to have children, like I think he’d be more of a “travel the world with your partner in a delightfully comfortable DINK arrangement” kind of guy.

Vlad — Yeah I think he’d 100% just be a “whatever you want” guy who values his partner above all else, including potential people who don’t exist yet.

Faust — He’s kinda weird with kids tbh in a way that reminds me of myself — uncomfortable but kind of nice and gives in easily to whatever they want — which makes me think he doesn’t really like them and doesn’t really want them. I could see him kind of wanting to reproduce with a human as an experiment, but I really don’t see him genuinely desiring to have children.

Charles — I get the vibe that he’ll be a very possessive yandere once he’s in a relationship and won’t want to share his partner with anyone at all, including potential children of their own. He actually gives me the impression that even if his partner came to him and shared that they genuinely wanted to have children with him, he might insist they not because of this trait of his.

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chrollohearttags · 1 year

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anxiety | e. jaeger x black fem reader

“…I just want to talk to somebody that gets me..”

synopsis: a patient suffering from a rare illness finds solace in an unlikely companion, resulting in a friendship and maybe even more.

cw: heavy angst, eren is a nursing student, (he’s a bit of a smartass too, as well as has his own sickness) chronically ill patient reader, (has both mental/physical illnesses), mentions of BPD, anxiety, etc, reader being kind of mean, mentions of self harm, comfort, kissing, hand holding, light mentions of sex and virginity, playful banter between reader and eren

📝: yes, this is kinda based off of Megan’s song, yes, I am okay, I promise. I just wanted to test myself again and since this was like one of my favorite AU’s on WattPad, I wanted to revisit it. (with a bit of a twist this time)

room 403: the very last one to sit at the end of the sixth floor hallway..the desolate, isolated area housed behind the off white walls of Southern Memorial Hospital. Where quality and compassion came first. Where patients were handled with the utmost care. And where (y/n) (l/n) had spent the better part of four months, confined to a bed and clinging to hope that you’d someday get out. However, fate was a cruel bitch that found enjoyment laughing in your face..unfortunately, this wasn’t your first stint as a resident here. In fact, you had been in and out of for a couple years now. Constantly coming back due to some new mystery symptom of your long running sickness. Some strange autoimmune disorder that kept you planted to this hard mattress and prevented you from knowing true happiness. It was a damn shame really..here you were spending the supposed best years of your young life chained to this hellish place. While peers were out attending concerts, going to college, working and even delving into dating for the first time, you were forced to listen to the sounds of beeping machinery and buzzing equipment. The closest you’d get to a cocktail was the disgusting combo of medications administered through your IV every night. You hated it! Hated all of it…this hospital, this illness…your body and all of the people here. Speaking to you as if you were a fucking child with no common sense. Showing pity and giving praise where it wasn’t deserved..you just wanted to haul off and punch one of those condescending bitches. However, there was one person in this godforsaken place that did make it a bit more tolerable..

“You better not be asleep. I just got here.” Yes, the one annoying voice in this entire hospital that you could stand. You could hear it outside the door of your secluded space. A single curtain shielding you from view as they entered. As always, you were perched upright against your pillows, glaring out of the window to a life you only wished you’d known..by now, it was getting pretty late and the once bright sunny skies had dimmed to a purple darkness with stars beginning to litter the view. “Then just leave. I’m tired.” Just then, the cloth partition would pull back and you’d be met with a very familiar face. Those sharp green eyes staring directly at and through you like always, long brown hair tied into a bun of some sort and those signature blue scrubs from the city’s premier nursing program. On the name badge? One you’d never forget for as long as you lived. “What do you want, Eren? Don’t you have a job to do? I’m pretty sure annoying me is not a part of the description.” Dismissing the brunette without so much as a full glance in his direction. Oh, but he saw right through you. Peered through to your soul like looking through a this sheet of glass…it pissed you off so badly! “For it to be a job, they’d have to pay me. Credit hours don’t pay my bills so I’ll do as I please until then. Besides, they love me too much to get rid of me. And you do too, so hush.” Anyone else would’ve been off put by your rather crass personality but him? He thoroughly enjoyed it and instead, took a seat at the foot of your bed, plopping down with a bag in hand. Bopping your nose with his fingertip.

“But since you’re being a brat, I guess I’ll eat these cupcakes by myself then.” it was the only thing that grabbed your attention as he knew you had an affinity for all things sweets. One of the very rare things you’d consume that didn’t make you feel sick to your stomach. Bitter hospital food tended to linger on your tongue for a while so it was nice to have something that cleansed the palette. Shifting in your seat, arms barred against your chest, (y/n) gave a side eye before tugging the bag. “You’re a type one diabetic, don’t be stupid.” retorting before retrieving one of the treats from the bag and tossing it back. “And you’re nosy.” Maybe it was part of the reason why you guys got along so well. As someone who suffered from a lifelong disease himself, he knew your pain all too well. That and he was a complete, total jackass. Without changing word, he’d grab the other and the the two of you would indulge in the delicacies as you spoke about your day. He told you about how he had an upcoming exam..one that would get him one step closer to the infamous N-CLEX. it brought back memories..as you had once pursued the degree yourself before falling too sick to even sit up in a classroom. But that bountiful knowledge bank of a brain never quite rid of that information. So I’m exchange for snacks and company, you pass on some of it to him, along with tips to ace those difficult tests. “So you think you can pass it?” questioning through a semi stuffed mouth; a hand covering it to prevent crumbs from spilling out. To which he’d nod his head, wiping away small remnants of frosting around his lips. “God, I hope so. My pops will never let me hear the end of it if I don’t. Hell, he might put me out, knowing him.” You wanted to laugh but you knew he wasn’t exaggerating. Eren had big shoes to fill, considering that he was not only a lovable goofball but the son of a prominent physician, Dr. Jaeger. Who oversaw the sister hospital to this one and because of that, his two kids got no break from him. Having been preceded by his older brother, who already was working towards his doctorates, he had no other choice but to be a success as well. You knew he studied hard, which is why you rooted for him secretly. “Don’t sweat too much. You’ll be fine, I promise.” the words sounded well enough but only time would tell if he could. But if they were from your own admission, he felt much better about it.

as for you on the other hand, another important test was fast approaching. One that was impending your entire future and he was aware of what it could mean.. “..what about you?” the simple question, loaded with complex emotions and feelings. Ones smeared all across his face because truthfully, he was as terrified as you were. “What about me? I’m fine..” You had confided in Eren about your condition..how it had worsened and what the doctors said. At first, it could’ve been attributed to poor mental health, as he and everyone else were privy to your past struggles. Aware of the scars plaguing your arms; now concealed by bandages and your flippant behavior that followed. You’d constantly tell your care team that something felt off and they never believed you. They all but dismissed you and told you it was all in your head. That was until you collapsed one day outside of the student center while walking to class and nearly hit your head. Luckily, someone was there to help and it was none other than this doofus. The one friend you had in this fickle world. Needless to say, he had been following your medical mystery as closely as you were..hoping for a better outcome. As it stood, you’d be all but bedridden in the next six months if things didn’t change. So tomorrow, you’d be undergoing a biopsy to determine what was causing it and have the results back in a few days. Was it cancer? Was it something else?..time would only tell but you were growing far more anxious by the minute; even if you used anger to mask it. “You’re as terrible of a liar as you are beautiful, (y/n). Look, it’s fine to be scared. Hell, I’m scared for you but don’t let this beat you, alright? They’ll figure out what’s wrong, kick its ass and have you out of here.” His words sounded hopeful, full of encouragement but you couldn’t be vexed to buy them right now. Your life was dangling in the balance. Hanging by a minute thread… “..and you’re as optimistic as you are stupid. Truth is, I’m dying..” the statements sending shockwaves throughout his body. The possibility of losing you chilled him to his core. “Don’t say shit like that—“ “it’s true, alright? I’ll never see the outside of this damn room ever again. I’ll never graduate college, go on a date, have my first kiss or even have sex for the first time..I’m gonna die here and there’s nothing I can do about it..” in that moment, tears began to trickle down your face and your voice cracked. Something about saying it all aloud made it all real. Twisting your head away, you’d try to conceal that crying but he knew better. It took everything in his own power not to become emotional.

suddenly, you’d feel a hand placed atop your own and your head twisted until your lips were locked with his. He knew it was wrong..knew that if for any reason, someone were to walk through those doors, he’d be kicked out with no exceptions. But the thought of seeing you upset made him act on instinct. That and the fact he’d waited for so long to do that..but you didn’t break it! Rather, you’d deepen the peck; pressing your plump lips further into his own and intertwining his pale fingers with your dark hued digits. It lasted for what felt like minutes but when you both pulled away… “I’m sorry…I just..” “..don’t be.”

it was exactly what you needed. Something to ease the pain that medicine couldn’t solve..for now, he’d keep holding you close and letting you sob into his shoulder blade. He knew it couldn’t have been easy but he’d do everything in his power to try and absolve your hurt, even if it meant letting you use him as a punching bag. His large arms cradled around you for the utmost comfort and you’d never felt better than in that moment. “I’m scared, Eren. I’m really fucking scared…I’m too young to be going through this. I want to live..” having to keep his own head tilted up to avoid letting tears fall; swallowing the hard lump in his throat as to not get choked up. He wished that he could trade places, make it all go away. Maybe if he were smarter, he could cure it for you..but sadly, the best he could do right now was this very thing. And it was enough for you..“I know..but it’ll be okay. It has to be.” Because truth be told, you couldn’t leave him just yet. He couldn’t let you depart from his life..

not until he was able to say.. ‘I love you.’

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revasserium · 11 months

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hi my dear rain! i hope you're doing okay! i wanted to request prompt 34 for your prompt list with sakusa or kita! i fell in love with kita but i also fell in love with sakusa so it's your choice! thank you! take care of yourself!

reqs are open :)

34. insomina: owner’s instructions

sakusa; 661 words; just aimless fluff, that's it.

it would be an understatement to say that he hates nights like these — nights when even after he’s done everything (meditation, chamomile tea, a hot bath, putting his phone in another room) and still, sleep does not come.

and, it does not come.

it’s on nights like these that he calls you.

“do you want me to come over?” you ask, and he can imagine you, probably painting your nails, the phone caught between your ear and your shoulder, holding your hand at arm’s length to admire your own handiwork.

“… if you want to.”

he hears you laugh, the sound soft and exasperated, and then, the sound of the phone falling and you swearing as you pick it back up again.

“sorry — dropped you for a second there but — that’s not what i was asking.”

“i know,” he says, his own voice as flat as an unplugged phone line, “i… don’t know what i want.”

“and… that’s why you called me.”

it’s not a question, more a reaffirmation of fact, a statement of already passed actions. sakusa wants to shrug, to scowl at you, even though he knows you can’t see. he imagines that you can picture it anyway.

“yeah.”

you’re quite for a solid three seconds and it feels like an entire eternity.

“yeah, what?” there’s a playfulness in your voice now, something that burrows into his chest, wraps its fingers around his ribs and swings on them like monkey-bars, his heart playing hopscotch up the back of his throat — he bites his lips.

“come over.”

he mumbles the words, cupping the phone too close to his ear, curling into himself in the darkness of his room, his empty apartment seeming all the more-so now that he knows there could be two of you here. that soon, there just might be.

“what’s the magic word?”

he fights the urge to chuck his phone across the room.

“fuck you.”

you laugh, a bright, piercing, delighted sound.

“mm, nope! two more tries.”

sakusa narrows his eyes, feeling the heat as it claws up his check into his cheeks, making his head feel strangely waterlogged as he digs inside himself for something other than snark to toss back at you. he knows you’re enjoying this — secretly, he is too.

someday, he might tell you about all the times he’s wanted to simply bask in the color of your voice, in the tone of your laughter. someday, he might tell you that he hears you in his mind, when he wakes up, when he sleeps, and so much more so in his dreams. someday — he’ll tell you.

but tonight is not the night.

“just come over.”

he sighs, flipping onto his back and staring up at the ceiling, at the long slabs of white moonlight caught there by the shadow of his blinds.

“still not it, but you’re getting warming! c’mon — one more guess!”

he takes a breath, allows himself a smile as he feels it settle somewhere above him, and he imagines the shape of you, if you were to be here, curled up next to him on his bed, beneath his covers, your breath warm by his ear, your heartbeat beneath his hand.

“please.”

you hum, and it’s a happy sound.

“see? that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

sakusa doesn’t grace that with an answer, only scoffs into the phone and you laugh again. in his mind’s eye, he can see you nodding, getting up off your chair or your bed or wherever you were sitting, rummaging around for your bag, grabbing your coat from a hanger on the wall.

“alright — be right there! see ya!”

he feels his breath settle back into himself, lets his eyes flutter shut.

outside, a car tosses it’s brilliant headlights in moving strips along the far wall as it passes by.

“see ya.”

yes, he thinks, smiling to himself now — soon.

#sakusa kiyoomi #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu fluff #sakusa kiyoomi fluff #sakusa x reader #haiCUTIES #floofy floof floof #sakusa deserves to be teased; he needs to be teased more in fics #pls do him this public service u__u LOL

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slickfordain · 1 year

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𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐈��𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐭 | Darling who’s like Nezuko Kamado

🎀 This is a non-SAGAU post again, but note to that— I will take a break from SAGAU. I’ll probably do SAGAU again in summer, but I won’t do God reader.

🎀 Yandere, wholesome, gore, Inazuma themed, platonic

✑ It was just a sunny day with just another hangout with the people of Inazuma, as people have taken a liking to you, and adores you every single day. It’s not surprising though, you’re just so cute how can they resist? Ever since the Shogun arc where she wanted to test your limit, you were harmless, thanks to the almighty traveler that is… You were just an innocent Oni, and everyone took advantage of that against you to hang out with every single one of them.

Yoimiya is actually wonderful with children~ She is like Mitsuri, and you both act like how Mitsuri and Nezuko are together. She will tickle your sides for fun, pamper you, and would even show you fireworks to amaze you. She knows you have memory loss of what you are and what you like, so she wants to show you everything this world had to offer. She even lets you greet her father, who isn’t amazing at hearing— but he treats you like his own child as well. Who wouldn’t love such a cute demon like you? You were adorable, quiet, and very polite. However… Yoimiya wonders why you always have a muzzle but… Perhaps it’s because you didn’t want to show your thangs— But Yoimiya gets really worried if you don’t eat! She hopes one day you’ll eat her dish… She just can’t stand it whenever it’s her time to sleep, shivering at the thought of you starving… She couldn’t have that… Not at all…

Kokomi Sangonomiya feels so at home actually, because she feels like she’s not a total freak or a horrible leader whenever she’s around you. Kokomi takes wonderful care of you, and even allows you to eat her food despite that she’s hungry. But you don’t really… Eat… But that’s fine, she will wait patiently until you’ve decided to be comfortable eating nearby beside her. If you managed to get hurt like how Nezuko gets injured from Karaku, Kokomi would be enraged. She may look sweet and loving, but Kokomi will have the one’s head on a fucking stick. Kokomi hates having you injured and hurt, and when you tried waking someone up from their slumber and head-butting them— in result of bleeding from your forehead? Unacceptable! How disappointing these people can’t be more careful with you! Kokomi will not rest. She refuses to… She will be in the dark, glaring with her glowing eyes, as she will drown everyone who has hurt you— in her Hydro bubbles.

Gorou loves taking care of you and always votes to be your babysitter… But at times, it could get difficult each time whenever he has to do his duties. To be honest, you and Gorou would be like Nezuko and Inosuke— allowing Gorou to be your horse and you being on his back as he carries you away! What do you mean you think your heavy? You’re not heavy, you’re the perfect weight. So don’t you dare worrying about your weight, because Gorou might think someone had dared to make you insecure— and oh, he would be teamed with Kokomi, as the two, are very protective over you. And yes, it does get a little annoying when someone pets his ears and tail— but for you? He would allow you with no hesitation. Look how happy you are~ Gorou could die happy from knowing his fur just makes you cozy… He will be your wonderful big brother, he swore to that… He will coo into you and cuddle you. If anyone dared to wake you up, expect them to have their lungs and organs spewing from their body.

Thoma is like your father figure. He always reminds you when to sleep, and hopefully someday he can tell you when to eat when that muzzle is once removed when you’re comfortable with it. Thoma makes sure you stay healthy and well, babying you and… Has a weak-spot for your tiny small form. He hasn’t seen anyone shifting from tall to small… But Archons, it just makes him want to squeeze you to death like a kitty who looks ready to be pampered. He will buy you anything! He steals from the Kamisato siblings but, he means well! He swears he does. And as much as he knows you can regenerate well and be alive from any gruesome injuries, Thoma can’t help but feel a sting of hatred for the person who made you upset. Thoma is usually loving, friendly, and outgoing… But he can’t handle it if it’s you getting wounds and cuts here and there— You lost an arm too for God damnit. Yes you regenerated it, but he will lock you inside the house if it means for you to be safe!

Kamisato Ayato is like your shitty older brother who disses and insults you, chuckling and grinning for time to time. Oh don’t get it wrong, he doesn’t dislike or hate you, it’s the opposite. With Ayato having high popularity and status, he needs to fulfill his duties of being a kind, polite, reserved gentleman. And it’s frustrating, to the point he felt like he could be himself around you. Oh, how loved he felt when you just huff and puff every now and then, whining like a little baby. Ayato would laugh and just tease you more… However… If anyone were to diss or dislike you, and they weren’t him, he will order guards immediately to decapitate them. Who do they think they are? Pretending to be Ayato? How dare they fucking insult you. You’re the beauty of their hometown, their [Name]. They should know their God damn place. He doesn’t care if they’re innocent, all their innocence has gone out the window for just insulting you merely by the slightest sentence. They called you weird? Yeah bye. They said you’re too quiet and need to be talkative? Shut up, how dare they speak to you like that. Ah… Yes… You’re totally safe with Ayato.

Kamisato Ayaka however is completely different from her brother. She’s the sweeter older sister, seconding behind Yoimiya… Ayaka won’t admit it out loudly, but she hates it when Yoimiya steals your time. It just makes her blood boil… You were the only one, alongside with the traveler, who treated her like an actual human being… And not just some girl who dances to please people. You cared. You gave her that affection and attention to make her feel like herself… You were just an adoring demon she looks up to… She especially loves hearing your soft laughter from that muzzle you have on. Ayaka never thought it was weird, and respected your style actually— So let her dance every now and then for you… Please? She wants to hear your happy laughter once again… She just wants you to be happy. She can’t afford you being away from her one second. She will itch her skin and go insane if you do. Please don’t leave her. Let Ayato take care of the cruel civilians, as she will hug and soothe you, humming a lullaby. She just really adores you, [Name].

Heyy, sorry I haven’t posted In a while but I finally did it. I won’t be posting SAGAU for a while and I hope you all understand, I’m just really stressed at the moment. I’ll hopefully do Raiden Ei and other characters I forgot to add, but I haven’t had much time.

#various x reader #various #yandere x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #yandere genshin impact #Yandere genshin impact x reader #inazuma x reader

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archivalofsins · 2 months

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You know when I started watching Milgram due to Star. I didn't really think I'd like any of the characters in it.

I was super suspicious of everyone even only knowing the bare minimum. My first instinct isn't to trust people generally regardless of their age. Ultimately, like when I started out, I would have found certain people innocent, but it was mostly due to surface level observations or not knowing enough about them.

I'm kind of happy to have reached the point that i can go I actually wouldn't find any of these people innocent. I actually don't think forgiveness can fix any of them in the same way I wouldn't think it would immediately fix a real person.

Looking at it from the standpoint of an apology and forgiveness can't fix this. Gives me the opportunity to examine how much weight an apology and being forgiven has to me. It allows me to interrogate who an apology and forgiveness is for in general.

My belief is that forgiveness is given as closure for the one who has been offended or hurt. It's ending the pain for them not the one being pardoned.

It won't change how the person who committed the transgression feels about it. Regardless of if the people they committed these acts towards or society at large forgives them.

"I’m still guilty even if the morning comes."/ "I need to be tagged as RED."

Forgiveness isn't something that can be given by the one the offense wasn't towards. An apology can't be received by people who were never offended/hurt to begin with.

It can only reach someone's ears once they know what the offending party did wrong.

"“I’m sorry” won’t reach anyone. I hope it will someday."/ "Hey, what if- If I am a bad girl? Don’t hate me."

Yet people finding out lessens the offenders' chances of being forgiven. Because whoever discovers what happened won't view the offender as a victim anymore.

"You don’t even know yet, and yet."

It's not something most want to receive from people who know nothing about them.

"Am I a bad girl? Please don’t answer."/ "So off the mark, what’s it to you? It’s just absurd. Like really, who do you think you are?"

It's not something that anyone other than the person it's given to can accept and if they don't want it for themselves they're less likely to want it for others.

"Feeling magnanimous? INNOCENT? I’m so not that."-"Just choose the only choice, GUILTY. Say that sympathy is useless. Hate evil as the evil that it is."

Magnanimous Kids Definition 2 Being generous and forgiving.

Sympathy Kids Definition 2 a: the readiness to think or feel alike that makes for a common bond b: readiness to favor or support

It's something people don't have to accept or give once an offense has occurred.

"It’s a tie after saying sorry? What are you hoping for?"

"Even I can say "I'm sorry". Even I have hope."/ "You’re sorry? I don’t care! Please, go ahead and die already. Remember MY cries, MY repents, MY words of “I’m sorry” that I said to you?" "Shall we replace the poor soul, and the miserable delusion- “I didn’t mean to offend”, “I won’t do it again” How many wins in a row?"/"I want a reason for judgment execution, I want it. Give me the next target."

It's something that some people can't move on without.

"I won’t stop until you say “sorry”."/ "Tears aren’t enough, no way no how it’s going to end. It’s so hot, so hard to breath, there’s no solace for my heart."

People don't even have to accept when they're not forgiven or their apologies aren't accepted. Others have every right to think that someone is making a big deal out of nothing. That what they did was actually a really small thing and nothing serious.

"I just got a little greedy."-"Is this selfish? This isn’t too much is it?"

"Lick that sin and oppose punishment, until you can meet the king of the masquerade." "Why, hey why, I’m nowhere to be found? So I will NEVER forgive you if this is happening to me even though I’m right."

"So it’s wrong? Oh shove that! INNOCENT, isn’t that right?"-"Come to know me as an honest man, eat your words, gulp them down."

There's no guarantee that even if you tell someone that what they did was wrong that they'll accept it or that the information will even be news to them.

"Giving you love to the point of pulling you down. It’s just because I still get worried, please forgive me."/"Saying I love you but doing what I did, I know I have no right, crossed and covered in sin. My love, it scored an own goal, destroyed my love and me with its weight. Tell me, oh tell me why, can’t I just do it right?"

"My emotions are out of control, that’s inconvenient? I don’t care!"/ "What you trampled is my, “This is how to be in love with you”."

There's something so incredibly human with how all the characters engage with the concept of apologizing or being forgiven. Something that makes them all much more endearing and relatable to me. At the beginning of Milgram I really didn't care for any of the characters here. I thought they were all pretty bad people and were mostly forgiving them based off of personal and surface level judgments.

In the very beginning though I was just uninvolved. I'm the sort that likes minding my business until I have enough information. So, I only voted on Amane trial one. This trial is the first one I've actually participated in voting fully in. It's incredibly easy to get caught up in others pace and the stories they tell about themselves.

Especially under a time crunch. I can't say if I like the characters and my opinion is subject to change next trial but I've very much enjoyed getting to know more about them over the course of Milgram. Along with greatly appreciating how realistically they're all written.

I guess if like was quantified by how willing you would be to be in the same room as a person then I like them all a lot more than when I got into this. They seem decent and on a more fun note incredibly unpredictable. Something that will make trial three very fun.

Hopefully Milgram gets more and more people to interrogate the concepts of apologies and forgiveness. I wonder if trial three will make people question if one really needs to be sorry to be forgiven. Plus considering how the number four is viewed overseas it is kind of funny trial two is ending right before the fourth anniversary of the series. So the intermission will be taking place during that.

#milgram #gunsli rambles

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waywardstation · 1 month

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we all had our laughs and memes and everthing regarding Ingo's hairline. But wanna see a new approach:

In your au it comes mostly due to all the stress (different time, much different task his memory loss affecting his mental health) mixed with some Sneasel poison.

So what I like to see is post reunion that he recovers a little of his old hair. The stress level are now much lower, the familiarity of having his loved ones around eases stress and on top Elesa as a friend has probably a lot of solutions ready to help out.

Obviously it will never be like before but he recovers so much that stupid comments stop. Also in solidarity Emmet makes sure to shave off some of his hairline to match his brothers to make him feel better (which in return has resulted in the goatee being shaved off or something. A sacrifice for a sacrifice) and they are matching again

Both have been affected by stress, look much more tired and exhausted. Same hairline and the same joy to be together again at last.

I know it goes much against the narrative and memes but as someone who lost much hair due to stress and managed to grow most of it back it would make me so happy to imagine something similar for Ingo as well. The solidarity of Emmet matching his hair is just a cute addition and something to encourage Ingo a bit more.

YES YES characters making it through all the stress and the ache and finally relaxing and regaining themselves!!!!

In my AU of sorts that comprise all my fics, don’t remember if I’ve ever stated it but it’s like half stress and half genetics, I suppose. Ingo would otherwise say he’d always known it would probably happen someday, but no he wouldn’t cause of amnesia whoops. But to a degree it’s just like that and he’s ok with it either way.

But over time he does recover a little of it. I’d like to think after being back for a while Ingo doesn’t even notice any changes at first. In my own fics at least, Ingo wouldn’t care or think much about it. Partly because I think Emmet would be much the same way; all the stress of trying to figure out what happened to Ingo, and his own genetics got to him too. They still match!! (Except for the goatee. Emmet has a soul patch. They both hate their counterparts and agree to shave for the other’s sake lol.)

But I like to think there are physical signs of recovery and less stress for both Ingo and Emmet upon making it back to each other, and this could be one of them!!

I like it a lot anon, thanks for sharing your thoughts with me!!

#wayward’s asks #I also like the thought as someone who currently deals with losing lots of hair due to stress and other factors #still working on the getting it back part lol #who cares if it goes against the narrative or memes we can give a character happiness and relaxation and regaining themselves #and this would be a way to physically show it #I love seeing characters get a break after periods of intense stress!!!!!!!!!!#;0; <3

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081314 · 1 year

Text

Book 7: The Ruler of the Abyss – Chapter 2 (Part 2)

Following is part 2 of my translation of Chapter 2 of Book 7: The Ruler of the Abyss. This part contains episodes 7-25 to 7-29.

Main storyline spoilers after the cut!!

Episode 7-25

Kalim: Hey, Lilia! Thanks so much for the invite.

Lilia: Kalim, Jamil. I’m so glad to see you. Thank you for coming.

Kalim: I was really surprised when I heard you were dropping out. I know we’ve talked about this before, but right after I enrolled here… I decided to join the pop music club after seeing you guys perform live. I just can’t believe I’m not gonna be able to hear your screamo anymore after today… I'm really gonna miss you. I thought about getting you a set of instruments and an amp as a farewell gift, but Jamil axed the idea.

Jamil: You’d literally need an entire truck to lug around the instrument set you were looking at. He’s not going on a live tour here. You have to keep in mind he’s just a normal person moving house.

Lilia: Kufufu. My apologies, I’m aiming to travel light when I leave. But I do thank you for your thoughtfulness, Kalim.

Jamil: Lilia Senpai, thanks for getting on so well with Kalim in the pop music club. I’m afraid you’d need to add this on to your luggage, but we’d be delighted if you would take this with you.

Lilia: What are you being so formal for? …This is… a business card?

Kalim: My dad told me to give that to you!

Jamil: What’s printed on that card is….the direct number to the Asim family’s private concierge.

Lilia: Private concierge?!

Jamil: If you ever find yourself in Scalding Sands, please do give us a call. The entire Asim family will be there for you every step of the way, starting from the moment you step foot in our country, all the way to your departure.

Kalim: As long as you have that card with you when you’re in Scalding Sands, whether you’re at an airport or a department store, there’s always gonna be someone there to look after you. And my mom and dad said they’d love to meet you someday. You’re welcome to come by my place whenever you want! And I’ll be happy to show you around with the magic carpet.

Lilia: Talk about rich! Please do give your parents my thanks. I’ll take good care of this card, I’m sure it will come in handy someday. Thank you, Kalim and Jamil.

Jamil: ….It seems like there’s other students here who wish to speak with Lilia Senpai, as well.

Kalim: Yeah, we don’t wanna hog up all your time. I hate to say goodbye, Lilia, but… Stay well!

Lilia: Yes. And you two, as well.

(Kalim and Jamil depart)

Lilia: Phew.

Silver: Father.

Lilia: Hm? Did you finish eating already, Silver?

Silver: It seems Lord Malleus still hasn’t arrived.

Lilia: Looks like it. Oh, what am I going to do with him. …Well, it’s nothing to worry about. We’ve been together for so long I’m sure we’ve just about grown tired of seeing each other’s faces by now. It’s fine if he doesn’t come see me off-

Silver: It’s not fine! You’re departing for the Land of Red Dragons tonight! And once you’re gone, Lord Malleus won’t be able to….! I… I’m going to go look for him!

(Silver runs off)

Lilia: Oi. Silver, wait! …He’s gone. Just where did he get that stubborn streak from, I wonder.

(Sebek comes running over, his mouth full of food)

Sebek: Shir Liria! … *Swallows food* W-What just happened? I thought I heard Silver raise his voice.

Lilia: Silver went to go look for Malleus.

Sebek: What on-! Then I shall go join him…

Lilia: Wait. It’s fine. To be honest with you, I’ve been wondering just what I should say to Malleus when I wish him farewell. But no matter what words I string together, it always feels so gloomy.

Sebek: Sir Lilia…

Lilia: You know what, Sebek. What little time I have left before I must depart, I’d like to enjoy it together with everyone. Don’t go saying something so coldhearted like you’re going to up and leave, too.

Sebek: O-Of course I wouldn’t. …Tsch. Darn you, Silver. You better not go fall asleep in the middle of the road!

Episode 7-26

Rook: Good evening, Monsieur Curiosity and Monsieur Crocodile. I do hate to interrupt your conversation, but we just wanted to say thank you for inviting us to your farewell soirée tonight.

Lilia: I’m glad you two could make it. As expected of the Beautiful Queen’s devotees – it feels like the party’s become even more grand just with your arrival.

Vil: ….Lilia. I’ll get straight to the point here. Is there really no other way?

Lilia: No other way…? What do you mean?

Vil: I’m talking about you losing your magic and leaving school. When I got all wrinkled from going into the underworld, Malleus was able to turn me back to normal by giving me some of his magic. Can't he do the same for you?

Lilia: Malleus said so himself, he can’t turn back time. I didn’t lose my magic due to some external reason like you did, Vil.

Vil: What do you mean?

Lilia: I’ve just gotten on in years, is all.

Vil: But you’re… 18 years old like the rest of us…?

Lilia: I’m just about 700 years old.

Rook / Vil: 700 years old!!!?

Sebek: OI! DON’T RAISE YOUR VOICES, HUMANS!! Sir Lilia is a member of the long-lived fae race. There isn’t anything to be surprised about.

Vil: H-Hello? …This whole entire time we thought he was the same age as us. I’m pretty sure anybody would be surprised if they just found out their classmate was literally 700 years old!

Rook: How could this be, Monsieur Curiosity? I’d noticed how you’d oft wax philosophically in a way no common 18-year-old would, but… To think, you were our senior in life to such a great extent.

Lilia: Kufufu. Perhaps I went a bit too low when fudging my age.

Vil: People in showbiz do stuff like that all the time, but I’ve definitely never heard of someone “fudging” it by over 680 years!

Rook: Ah, does this mean Roi du Dragon is also…?

Lilia: Oh, no. He’s much, much younger than I am. You could say he’s a “little” older than you boys. Even amongst us fae, the Draconia family is renowned for their long lifespans. At 200 years old, they’re but fledglings; and at 500, but youths. They’re finally considered adults once they reach 1000. They’re descended from dragons, after all.

Rook: Ça alors! I’d heard before that the fae have long lifespans, but that’s…

Lilia: I've heard the members of my species are also able to live to 1000, but… I was a little too reckless in my heyday, and I began to show my age earlier than I’d expected.

Vil: Reckless?

Lila: It’s perfectly normal for people to go a little wild when they’re young.

Sebek: Please don’t demean yourself so, Sir Lilia! Why, my grandfather has told me all about how you put your life on the line and devoted yourself to the Valley back in your day.

Lilia: Oh, *Baul. How many centuries has he been telling those same old stories now? Kids don’t like folks who always prattle on about the “good old days”, you know. However, although I committed my fair share of mischief in my youthful enthusiasm…. These past two years I’ve been super into video games, and I keep staying up all night with my nose pressed to the screen. It’s very unbecoming of my age, I know. Honestly, that might be the worst of my transgressions. You boys take care not to overdo it with those games, you hear! Ha ha ha!

Vil: Good grief. Please try and take care of yourself a little better from now on. ….Hah. It’s strange. Even though we just heard how old you really are, it’s like nothing’s changed. You’re the same Lilia as always - just another one of our classmates.

Rook: Indeed. I feel the same way. I guess you could say, age is but a number when it comes to sharing in youth together with your friends.

Lilia: What a lovely thing to say. Vil, Rook, please have as much fun as you can tonight.

Rook: Oui! Merci, Monsieur Curiosity.

Vil: Yes. Let’s enjoy ourselves to the very end!

*バウル Could be Baul, Bauru, Bahr, etc. Won’t know for sure what the correct name is until the official ENG localization comes out.

Episode 7-27

Ortho: Big brotheeer? Hey…. Are you even listening! Since they invited us and all, let’s go to Lilia Vanrouge-san’s going away party together. I’m sure you must have met him plenty of times before at your dorm warden meetings, right?

Idia: Honestly... Lilia-shi’s not my friend or anything…. I guess you could call him an acquaintance, but that’s about it… Even if I go to the party, it’s not like we’d have much to talk about together…. Anyways… I’m way more upset about having to say goodbye to Muscle Crimson-shi!!!! *sob*

Ortho: Oh, that’s right…. Muscle Crimson-san announced yesterday he’s quitting gaming, didn’t he.

Idia: Yeah… I dunno the specifics, but he’s got something going on IRL. And he also wiped out the Magicam account he was using for gaming… We’ve been messaging each other almost every day for the past two years and played so many different video games together. He was the first person I’ve ever done that stuff with.

Ortho: Mm. I remember guilds kept trying to recruit you since you’re so skilled and all… but anytime you joined one you’d always say stuff like, “Having to follow this guild’s stupid house rules sucks!” and, “These cocky weak ass ““veteran”” players suck!” and, “Getting all chummy with people SUCKS!” And then you’d always go back to playing solo soon after.

Idia: I’m just not cut out for co-op multiplayer games….

Ortho: But you and Muscle Crimson-san have played all sorts of games together, everything from MMORPGS to FPS. To my knowledge, he’s the only friend you’d ever done that with.

Idia: And despite all of that… He just dipped out of my life like it was nothing. Turns out that online relationships really are as fragile as people say… But hey, that’s fine with me… Ha ha… haaa…. Man, I can’t do this anymore… It hurts too much…. I don’t wanna ever make another friend ever again….

Ortho: Aww. Don’t say that, big brother. …Hey, I know! Why don’t I just look up Muscle Crimson-san’s location for you? Then you can just go see him in person!

Idia: Nooooo!! That is absolutely not cool! Not unless somebody posts a bunch of baseless slander about you!! B-Besides…. Even if we met up face-to-face, I bet I’d just annoy him.

Ortho: Huh? I don’t think so…

Idia: Of course I would! There’s no way anybody would have fun hanging out offline with a friggin’ gloomy meganerd like me..….*sob* ….Ugh… It’s no use. I think I’ll just stay in bed for the next 10,000 years. Ortho, please just go to Lilia-shi’s party by yourself…

Ortho: *sigh* ….Okay. I’ll come back as soon as I can. Please don’t feel so down, big brother.

(Ortho departs, and Idia turns the lights off in his room)

Idia: ….That’s right. There’s no way anybody would wanna hang out with me offline. But I… I really should’ve mustered up the courage and asked for his contact info before it was too late…..

Episode 7-28

Silver: Lord Malleus! Where are you, Lord Malleus?!

(A cold wind blows and snowflakes start to fall)

Silver: …What the? It’s springtime, and yet the temperature’s suddenly plummeted. And it’s even started snowing….

(Silver sees Malleus standing in front of the statue of the Thorn Fairy)

Silver: ….! Lord Malleus!

Malleus: ….Hm? Oh it’s you, Silver.

Silver: So this is where you were, my Lord. I’ve been searching for you. Today is father’s going away party, so could you please join us and say a few words to him before he departs?

Malleus: ….So the celebration has already begun. Since Lilia invited me, I need to give him a blessing of some sort before he leaves. It is said that the Thorn Fairy would present the most splendid of gifts at the parties held at the royal palace - gifts that would astound all in attendance. And as the leader of Diasomnia, I must be sure to choose a gift that won’t sully her good name.

Silver: But that’s… I’m sure your presence alone would be more than enough for father, my Lord.

Malleus: I’ve been mulling it over for so long now. Just what should I give him….

(A cold wind blows)

Silver: Ack… It’s starting to snow even harder now. Lord Malleus, it’s awfully cold out tonight. Let us hurry back to the dorm now.

Malleus: It’s cold? Ahh, drat. I’ve done it again…

(Malleus snaps and it stops snowing)

Silver (thinking to himself): (….It stopped snowing? Lord Malleus is pretty infamous back home for causing thunder to split the sky when he's angered, but.. could this snowstorm also have been spurred on by his unrest? Lord Malleus… Your demeanor says otherwise, but you really are taking father’s departure hard, aren’t you. …And why wouldn’t he? He’s known father for so much longer than I have. I’ve only known him for a mere 17 years…)

Malleus: Hmm…. It won’t do any good to stand here fretting about. Let us set off for the party.

Silver: …….Please…. Go on ahead without me.

Malleus: Silver?

Silver: I’ll… be right along…. *chokes back a sob*

Malleus: What is the matter? ….Are you crying?

Silver: I-I’m so sorry… I must look so pathetic right now.

Malleus: There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Children cry. It’s what they do.

Silver: I’m already 17 years old. I’ll be an adult next year. I’m sure I must look like a child in your and father’s eyes, but… 17 years ago…. Father found me deep within the Briar Valley woods when I was just an infant.

Malleus: ……

Silver: Father is a fairy, and I am a human. We don’t have any blood ties or anything, and he really had no obligation at all to take me in….. But despite that, he raised me as though I were his own child. He made sure I was never want for food, he taught me so many different things, and whenever I lay ill in bed, he’d spend the whole night by my side.

Humans are so much weaker than fae, and we mature at a completely different rate than you do… everything about us is different. There’s hardly anyone in Briar Valley who knows a thing about taking care of human children. And not only that, but father was all on his own. I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult it must have been for him to raise a human baby without anyone to rely on, just fumbling ahead one step at a time the best that he could….

I can’t thank him enough. I’d intended to spend the rest of my life just trying to repay him for everything he’s done for me…! And yet… I… I still haven’t done a single thing for him in return! And now he’s setting off to go die alone in some faraway land.

Malleus: …………..

Silver: I…. Father can no longer use magic, and his body is growing weak… But even if the day should come where even his mind finally fails him and he forgets everything that's happened, I still want to be there for him right by his side…!

Malleus: …Lilia, you truly do have yourself a wonderful son.

Silver: No, I’m a good-for-nothing son. He wanted us to send him off with a smile, but I can’t even manage to grant him that one wish. I just… I… *sobs*

Malleus: ………….

Episode 7-29

Malleus: Earlier, you said you were someone who has no blood ties with Lilia, someone he had no obligation to raise… I’m sure he thinks the same way that you do.

Silver: ………Huh?

Malleus: Compared to how long we fae live, human lives are strikingly ephemeral - over and done with in the blink of an eye. Perhaps he felt you had no obligation to waste what precious little time you have left on him, in his enfeebled state.

Silver: Father…. Why…. *sobs*

Malleus: ...........There’s this one thing my grandmother often told me. The reason why the members of my species - those followers of the night who are descended from dragons - are born with such awesome powers, is so that we can ensure the people of Briar Valley never lose their smiles. And yet I cannot even dispel you and your father's sorrows. Despite all my strength... I’m powerless.

Silver: That’s not true….!

(beep beep beep)

Silver: Ah… L-Lord Malleus. Your phone is ringing.

Malleus: That wasn’t my phone, it’s a toy that Lilia gave me… Ahh. It seems Drakon has once again departed for its next journey.

Silver: ….You must feel lonely when it leaves.

Malleus: Not at all. Within the confines of this little device, it simply goes through all the motions of its fictional life over and over again. So there’s no need for sorrow…. Wait!

(Malleus starts to have flashbacks)

Lilia: Within the confines of a game like that where you have to tend to someone's needs… Perhaps it’d be fine to have it live forever, so long as you look after it. Like a never-ending fantasy of sorts.

Malleus: If… Say, if there was some way you could stay with your friends and family forever, and you would never have to worry about saying goodbye to anyone or anything ever again, would you wish for something like that?

(The flashbacks end)

Malleus: ….Yes, that’s it… That’s it! That was it all along! Ha ha… Ah ha ha ha! Oh, why did it take me so long to realize something so simple! Now I know what gift I should give to Lilia.

Silver: L-Lord Malleus…..?

Malleus: Come, Silver. Let us go to Lilia’s side.

Silver: Huh…? Uwahh!?

(Silver and Malleus disappear as Malleus teleports them away)

Chapter 2 (Part 1)

Chapter 2 (Part 3)

#malleus draconia #lilia vanrouge #idia shroud #vil schoenheit #rook hunt #sebek zigvolt #twst silver #ortho shroud #kalim al asim #jamil viper #silver #twst spoilers #twst #twisted wonderland #ruler of the abyss

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