#i don’t deserve love

[sp00kysk3lly]

I just wanted love. That’s all. I’ve never asked for material things.

I’ve never wanted to win the lottery, I’ve never wanted to be famous, I’ve never asked for anything apart from to be loved.

But when your own friends barely speak to you, distance themselves from you, or just plainly ignore you.

And when the people who you thought loved you because they told you it, they flirted with you, and spoke to you every day for months leave you.

That’s when you start to realise that you don’t deserve love. You’re not allowed to love or be loved.

I will undoubtedly be on my own forever. No one wants me. No one wants to deal with chronic conditions or my severe mental health. They just want to use me, for company, maybe? For their own cruel purposes?

I don’t know why these people have come into my life to make me feel this way. But they did, and it’s proven to me so much.

I just wanted to love and be loved…

#heartbreak quotes #lonely #extremely lonely #sad #crying #depressed #depression #mental health #mental health awareness #no one wants me #no one likes me #no one loves me #unwanted #unloveable #I don’t deserve happiness #I don’t deserve love #not allowed #all alone #fake friends #fake people #toxic friends #alone #loser #im a pathetic loser #blog

[angelnumber27]

Wanting the best for your friends while knowing that the best could only exist without you being in their lives at all

#I don’t deserve friends #I don’t deserve love #I don’t deserve companionship #I don’t deserve support #I don’t deserve forgiveness #I don’t deserve anybody or anything #I don’t deserve to be loved and happy

[deegausserr]

I’m not doing okay right now if that’s not completely obvious.

Depression has enveloped me like a blanket and I don’t have the strength to fight it off.

#I don’t deserve friends #I don’t deserve love #just going to listen to sad music and read until the thoughts aren’t overwhelming #not sure I ever had them

[palavrasdeputaria]

The stomach pain woke me up. I am having a hard time figuring out whether is anxiety, hunger or just too many feelings.

So I’m going to lay in bed and read about Pirates and hope that it stops in a while.

I must accept that you do not care about me and haven’t for a while. You care in the abstract, yes, but me as a person, No.

I do not deserve care, love or attention. That is a fact. I tried to see the world in grays and I didn’t see the signs of failure as it happened.

I let myself be and accepted that if you needed or wanted you’d tell me, false.

The world for me is black and white, I cannot exist in grays.

I have to remember that my emotional needs are my own and I must keep them that way.

I must remember that my resentment is my own and I keep it to myself.

I must remember that my mind and body are not made for care and love.

I must remember that I am on this journey alone, as it has always been.

That will not change and every attempt to change just causes other people pain.

I bamboozle them into thinking I’m funny and smart and cute. Then they see the mess inside like some horror movie monster reveal and of course they don’t like it.

I am alone in this. I will always be alone in this. I cannot keep dragging people in.

My marriage failing was my fault, us failing was my fault.

I do not deserve more because I cannot learn.

Also this fan is going too aggressively and it’s making my eyelashes move wrong.

#i hate my brain #i hate this #I am pathetic #I don’t deserve love #I don’t deserve heartbreak #I don’t deserve anyone or anything #I deserve nothing #I am nothing #heartache #heart break #heartbreak #aleshakills

[luminous-pulse]

in the middle of a panic attack and I just want someone to cradle me softly in their arms, kiss my cheek and neck and collarbone until the tears stop, tell me they won’t ever leave me to be alone, run their hands all up and down my skin, grounding me to this reality and the fact that I feel safe and loved and cherished. Soft, loving, tender kisses, sweet and gentle, like I’m fragile and the most beautiful thing they’ve seen. I want to feel wanted

#concept #luminous thoughts #misc #gay yearning #mlm #not that I deserve this at all #I’m a horrible person honestly #I’m too disabled to exist I shouldn’t exist #I don’t deserve love #but I so desperately crave it

[broflovski-brah]

i never realize how ugly my scars are until i relapse

#nobody would love a defect like me anyway #i don’t deserve love #i don’t deserve comfort #i pretend and pretend and pretend and nothing gets better #i push things down until i can’t take it anymore #i’m such a freak #i’m a freak with ugly scars and a weird outward appearance #i hate myself #i hate myself because i relapsed after six months #and i know it’s a slippery slope from here on out #tw self harm #vent

[mosaic-of-broken-hearts]

Oh my, love is a lie.

#taylor Swift #hits different #lyrics #mood #thoughts #break up #i hate myself #i think im making a mistake #i don’t deserve love #someone help me

[whatohitsonfirewelp]

You know what? I don’t WANT an awkward double date. I don’t WANT buck coming out and people having the ‘I know’ reaction or the ‘is it Eddie’ reaction.

You know what I do want?

I want Buck panicking over what to wear for the date. I want Buck flopping on his bed like very teenager after their first kiss all giggly and happy and touching his lips because he kissed a boy

I want Buck smiling every time he says Tommy’s name because maybe it isn’t forever and maybe he’s not even looking for forever anymore but he’s so happy and he’s so light and being with Tommy feels good

I want Tommy to keep calling him Evan, because before Buck was Buck he was Evan and Evan deserves to be happy to be treated so softly and lovingly and Evan deserves to be free.

I want Buck to be happy. To be happy and free and queer in the way we all deserve.

#the other things are nice I guess #buddie would be nice #but honestly I don’t care anymore #I just want to see a happy queer character in media #because we don’t even fully have that with hen and Karen #their journey wasn’t an easy one #and why can’t we get queer characters who have a soft loving kind story #whatoh back at it again #evan buckley #tommy kinard #eddie diaz #911 abc #give me a giddy buck who’s nervous and unsure but so excited #give me a Buck who’s awkward but so determined to make this work and to discover more about himself #give me a Tommy who is so soft with him so gentle so kind #because don’t we all deserve that love? doesn’t Evan Buckley deserve that love? #for once I don’t want the angst for him I just want him to be Happy and Free

[sweetlypunk]

Happy Birthday to the loml 🫶

first panel by @mumblesplash & Jason with pinched cheeks by @twalxx

#he deserves a good birthday pls #I love him so much you don’t get it #jason todd #jason todd robin #jason todd art #art not mine #red hood #batman #batfam #red hood fanart #baby jason todd #jason todd fluff #dc comics #batman wayne family adventures #art by #mumblesplash #twalxxart

[bottombaron]

oh ok so its the usual no-homo bullshit you always hear, good to know.

#wwdits #what we do in the shadows #guillermo de la cruz #nandor the relentless #nandermo #look im a reasonable guy #i dont get worked up easily and ive been around writers rooms and understand the pressures of writing a big show like wwdits #hell i even liked season 4 #but this has got to be one of the most offensive bs ive read that wasnt from 2015 #‘its only a small (but vocal) amount of people that actually want to see them together’ #‘their love isnt ~s*xual~ they dont need to kiss its more ~profound~ than that’ #‘you don’t REALLY want to see them together! (thats gross!)’ #also ‘the power dynamic is ~problematic~’??? are you kidding me??? #jfc its like someone literally got this out of the queerbating handbook from 2010 #and like yeah i know wwdits isnt queerbating but its queerness feels more performative when it treats an actual central relationship #like its a gross kinkything only a few freaks on the internet want #instead of a legitimate plausible story that deserves exploration #nandermo should be a triumph - a victory for the characters and something the writers should be pleased with writing #not…this. #like it’s some problem pressured reluctantly upon them that needs to be carefully defused #this has left a bad taste in my mouth

[juiceicicles]

Steve having a sexuality crisis is all good angst and realistic writing, and Steve having known for a while and being confident and learned is great too, but I love Steve “just skipped the crisis part” Harrington.

Because really, who gives a shit if he’s gay when he’s fought monsters?

His best friend is a lesbian, and he loves her, so it’d be hypocritical not to accept this part of himself.

He’s had to protect his friends from mind demons with Kate Bush songs, this is not even a blip in the crazy shit he’s had to deal with.

One of his children friends has telekinetic powers and can go into your mind to figure out your location and save you from giant spider demons.

He almost died, everyone he loves almost died, who cares?

#steve harrington #stranger things #eddie munson #steddie #stranger things 4 #steve harrington x eddie munson #I want to add that if you are gay #and have gay friends #and love them but struggle with interlized homophobia #you are not hypocritical #I added that because it is something I’ve seen done before #not because having self worth issues about your sexuality is homophobic to anybody but yourself #also please don’t be homophobic to yourself #you are perfect and lovely #and regardless of your gender or sexuality #you are a valuable human being and deserve love and happiness #juicepost

[crismakesstuff]

I am a forest fire

And I am the fire and I am the forest

And I am a witness watching it

I stand in a valley watching it

And you are not there at all

#invincible #invincible show #invincible spoilers #invincible season 2 #a burning hill #mitski #this song is so debbie #invincible fanart #crismakesstuff #she deserves to burn the world down after everything #hopefully she doesn’t burn herself up in the process #u guys don’t get how much I think about her #i love her so much #debbie grayson #illustration

[trans-androgyne]

If when you hear “trans man” you instantly treat it as “straight, white, abled, endosex, passing trans man” you need to reconsider some things. Especially if you’re cis.

#not that those trans men don’t deserve care & love & support — they do. #I love you men I love you trans men #I love you trans men with intersecting marginalized identities #trans men are not any one thing. they’re a diverse community connected by one complex thing #transness is complex. transness with never not be complex. #trans posting #transandrophobia #transmasc #trans men

[wolfstarisswag]

I want a bar scene where Dean cas Sam and Eileen go to a bar and they’re playing dua lipa or something and Sam and Eileen go off to dance and cas and Dean go to the bar and deans grumbling about the music cause he’s stuck up when it comes to that, but cas is getting rlly into it and Deans just looking at him all soft like and the bar tender makes some comment like “how long have you two been together” and Dean gets all flustered and cas answers “twelve years” cause he’s literal and doesnt understand the question properly (or he’s doing it to mess with Dean).

#like pls pls pls i love bar scenes in fics #we were robbed of a bar scene like this #they deserve this #copied and pasted this from iMessages don’t mind the run on sentence #spn #supernatural #destiel #dean winchester

[moonilit]

FFXVI serving some of the best dynamics

#Picking out carrots when you never actually said you don’t like them is a love language #Jill: i have never cried once in like 10 years #Clive: crying in the background because snakes have no arms #Joshua mister ‘I have to be the phoenix because thats what my people need me to be’ #Jote making the simplest act of recognition to his person: #Joshua: YOU ARE MORE THEN I DESERVE #joshua rosfield #clive rosfield #jill warrick #jote #ffxvi #final fantasy xvi

[coldasicecream]

Michael Sheen appreciation post because he’s an incredible actor and portrays Aziraphale in a way no one else could and deserves nothing but love from this fandom!!!

#on a mission to spread michael sheen appreciation #he‘s literally the perfect aziraphale #and he brings so much to the show #michael 'acting choices' sheen #and from what i know he’s genuinely a good person #he doesn’t deserve to get hate #i’ve seen so much crowley and david tennant content recently #and don’t get me wrong i love them both #but i don’t see nearly enough michael content #michael sheen #good omens #ineffable husbands #david tennant #saying stuff #saying good omens stuff