#i do think the show using 'space' as a general grouping for things is funny since loki's also alien but it is how it is XD

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being too close to my childhood best friend?

(This is so long I'm so sorry, there's just a fair bit of info.)

Me (22F) and Jake (23F) grew up together. Our mothers were friends for years and got pregnant around the same time, and we've basically been side by side our whole lives. We consider each other platonic soulmates and siblings.

Jake has had a girlfriend (Lucy, 23F) for the last seven months. I really like Lucy, she's so funny, so interesting, and she clearly makes Jake happy. There's been one or two awkward moments between us, but its never been anything that lingered or caused problems.

Now I know how people generally act/think about "the girl best friend" so when Jake said he was thinking of asking Lucy out, I made sure to back off a bit. Instead of having a brate (bro date, just hanging out doing something like bowling, Maccas, movie theatre, ect) once a week I said we should have one once a month, I don't call him just to hang on the phone together anymore, I make sure to not message at all on the days I know they have dates planned, ect.

I've really, really done my best to not get in the way, to make sure Lucy knows he really is just my brother, and I've tried to give them both space as someone who is not involved in their relationship.

I thought I was doing really well because its never really come up until this week. It was Jake and I's brate day and we decided to go to the mall so I could shop for clothes and he could get the slushies he likes there. Lucy knew where we'd be, and "happened" to show up, which was fine. Like I said, I like hanging out with her, and I actually thought it was cool I could get another girl's opinion on my outfit.

Jake decided to try on some clothes too while he was there and it turned into something of a mini fashion show of both of us showing off our possible choices. Lucy seemed to alternate between really having fun and going quiet. She refused to try on any herself but grinning and laughing while Jake and I were, and while we were taking turns playfully hyping each other up.

Jake tried on a pair of jeans and I was teasing him and said "damn dude, look at all that ass" trying to make him embarrassed. This was when Lucy muttered something I didn't quite hear, and politely suggested I should leave. Both Jake and I were really confused and taken aback and Lucy kind of shrugged and said things like this were things couples should do, and it was really inappropriate of me to make a sexual comment about her boyfriend while she was right there.

I didn't want to make a scene so I said I'd go, but Jake argued back and said it was clearly just joking around and he's sick of her getting upset at literally anything I do, or he does with me, which was surprising because it was the first I heard that she's had actual complaints.

We all wound up sitting down in the food court to talk and Lucy basically said that she's growing more and more uncomfortable with how close Jake and I are as her and Jake get closer, even though Jake and I's interactions have drastically dropped since they started dating. She thinks its weird we have friendship bracelets (our families went on a double vacation when we were 14 and me and Jake bought those cheap seaside shell bracelets in matching colors, that's literally it) and we hang out alone once a month (even though she's been invited multiple times and always refuses) and she thinks its even weirder than our families are so close and call us siblings.

I won't lie, it killed me inside, but I offered to back off entirely and only be around Jake in group settings, if at all, but Jake cut in and said that wasn't a compromise he was willing to make, and asked Lucy to talk more in private. They left together and trying to be respectful, I haven't reached out at all to either of them while they talk it through.

Jake's mom came over today to hang out with mine, and wound up telling me the last few days Jake has been stressed out, miserable, and isn't sure about staying with Lucy. She said it was a shame because Lucy seemed so nice, but she also said she was proud of him because I was family and Lucy's insecurity wasn't reasonable.

It made me feel sad and like I was hurting Jake by interfering with his relationship again, so I asked some of my online friends from a game I play and the opinion was kind of split. They all agreed I've never spoken about Jake in a way that hinted I liked him, but also that as girls, they'd feel weird anyway about knowing their boyfriend had this close bond with another girl, and they'd be wondering what the future would look like and if our friendship would get in the way of choices like moving, starting a family.

Now I feel completely lost and honestly a little scared of both losing Jake and apparently ruining his life by being so close to him. None of the rest of our IRL friend group has ever brought anything up about it, and I don't know if this is Lucy being jealous or if this is my fault.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[coochiequeens]

As your bones lose density, the only way you will protect them is by keeping your muscle mass; building strength in middle age is part of what will define the shape and tempo of your old age. “

When 50-year-old Anna Jenkins, the founder of We Are Fit Attitude (Wafa), a woman-only health and fitness club, looked online for images of older women exercising, she was irritated by the pitiful size of the weights: the stock image is of a woman with grey hair lifting a 1kg weight, as if doing so were some kind of milestone. My personal bugbears are the photos in which there is a personal trainer with an expression of infinite patience next to the older woman, as if the latter is weak and half witted.

Stock photos are the internet’s idea of what the world should look like, sets of generic images intended to illustrate articles and advertising, often revealing more worldview than they probably set out to. There are famously a lot of photos of white women laughing near salad, meant for healthy eating content, but also reinforcing inane cheer and self-denial as cornerstones of femininity. If fitness imagery of the young is all about aspiration – six packs, muscle definition and impossible body fat percentages – fitness imagery of older people is almost anti-aspirational. Its message is: “You probably can’t do anything at all, but look over here, there’s a lady managing this tiny thing.”

Jenkins runs the Wafa classes remotely and in person for women ranging from their late 30s to their mid-70s. One Saturday, at a class in Merton, south London, they decided to create a new set of photos, repopulate the ecosystem of stock photographs, so that when you search for “older women exercising”, you will be able to see what that really looks like. “These are proper weights,” says Annette Hinds, 60. “We’re not pussyfooting about.”

Jenkins went into group work and coaching from personal training because she had noticed that, in the gym: “Women would go straight to the cardio machine because they knew how it worked. It’s a frightening environment when you think you don’t belong, when you’re unhappy in your body shape. But they didn’t need more cardio – at 45-plus your body needs strength work. Especially during the menopause. It’s just a fact.”

As your bones lose density, the only way you will protect them is by keeping your muscle mass; building strength in middle age is part of what will define the shape and tempo of your old age. But as Glenda Cooper, 51, who usually does this class remotely five times a week, says, there is more to it than that. “Women at this time of life have parents we’re caring for. I’ve got two kids. You don’t want to take up too much space, you feel invisible anyway, you don’t make time for yourself. It’s so important to have a sense of your own strength, which I think is absent from the rest of our lives.”

The atmosphere is fierce: as Lorraine Turner, 59, says: “I never used to think I was competitive, but later in life, I’ve realised that I am. I get a lot out of it if I push myself more.” Karen Silvestri, 60, remarks archly: “My husband’s a chef so I eat a lot and drink a lot. I still manage to retain this normal shape.”

Palmer’s daughter paid her a compliment on her butt the other day: “She said it wasn’t flat like a lot of women my age.” Downward comparison is very motivating, and it is also fun to watch when people are so unabashed about it.

“We’re a funny bunch, women, aren’t we?” Teresa Klasener, 61, says. She was very active until she got rheumatoid arthritis, then it all hit the skids until she started with Wafa two years ago. “We have all these mental blocks, we don’t prioritise ourselves, but once we’re in a group, we’ll fly.”

Jenkins says: “When I first became a personal trainer, I’d see a lot of women who were yo-yo dieters, and it was often because they were trying to be skinnier than their bodies were meant to be. I think exercise makes you confident in your shape as it is.” That might be the ultimate break with the visual norms of the fitness industry, that these are images of strength and exertion for their own sake, not for how they’ll make you look in spaghetti straps.

“I never knew what people were talking about with the endorphin thing,” Redford says. “And now, I do feel a sense of joy and self-congratulation, knowing that I just fucking went for it.”

#We Are Fit Attitude (WAFA) #Stock images or women #Women and fitness #Women and strength training #Women and aging

[lil-elle]

Locked Out - Pt.2

group: xikers

pair: neighbour!minjae x fem!reader

genre: college au, fluff, pining(?), boy next door(?)

word count: 3.2k

content: no content warnings teehee ♡ (unless the existence of food is a content warning?)

a/n: read part 1 HERE

After finishing your food, you found yourself sitting down with Minjae on his couch, just chatting about this and that. The conversation just seemed to flow so naturally.

“So why exactly were you locked out of your own dorm?” He smirked, stretching an arm across the back of the small couch. You chuckled embarrassedly and dropped your head.

“Well…obviously I forgot my key when I was leaving for class this morning. That wouldn't have been a problem if it didn't just so happen to be the day my roommate was going to visit her sister. Overnight.”

“Oof.” He said, smiling.

“BIG oof. So anyway, she locked the door when she left while I was at class. Then I went to work, and when I finally got home- no key.”

He chuckled lightly into his hand, making you gasp and giggle back.

“Hey, don't laugh!” You smacked his arm playfully.

“I'm sorry!....It's kinda funny, though.”

You scoffed dramatically, not in a space at all to act upset with a massive smile stretched across your face.

“...That's when you showed up…” You smiled softly at him and his laughter dried up as a slightly flustered expression came across his face. “So, thank you.”

He suddenly cleared his throat and turned his head away, the red tips of his ears peeking out from behind his hair.

“Y-Yeah, o-of course…” He stuttered and you couldn't help but find his shy persona endearing.

“So…Minjae.”

“Hmm?” His head snapped back up to look over at you, his voice cracking slightly as he hummed.

“What's your major? I've never seen you around on campus before.”

The pink slowly faded from his cheeks as he responded.

“Music production! So, like composing and lyric writing, and I even do some performance based classes.”

You felt a strange tickle in your stomach as he said that and thought: “Wow. Okay, that's kind of attractive.”

“Woah, so can you like play the guitar and stuff?”

He let out a soft giggle.

“Yup. And the piano. And I can sing too.”

You couldn't help but chuckle at his sudden cockiness.

“Wow, and you're so humble too~” You said sarcastically, earning a bellowing laugh from him and a smile in a way that pushed up his cheeks and bottom eyelids, almost completely hiding his pretty brown eyes from sight. God, it was charming.

After a few seconds, he sighed and looked back at you.

“What about you, y/n?”

You thought for a moment before sighing with a wry smile growing on your face.

“Just…business, I guess, but it’s not really what I want to do.”

He leaned forward slightly, eyes showing complete, genuine interest in what you were saying.

“I actually don't know what I want to do…at all…”

His eyes turned empathetic as you continued.

“I-It's silly-”

“It's not. Not at all.”

You stared back into his deep, round eyes as he spoke with a firm yet gentle tone.

“Believe me, you have no idea how many different things I tried before I decided on music production. I think I switched majors like at least 4 times before landing where I am now.”

Your heart suddenly jumped as he said those words and your eyes went wide.

“4 TIMES?? What year are you in!?”

He looked taken aback for a moment before stuttering out his response.

“Um…well I'm in my first year as a music production major…but my third year in college in general.”

Your mouth fell open slightly.

“You're…21..?”

He nodded softly.

“You're not?” He asked in almost a whispered tone.

“NO?? I'm 19!”

“Oh! Wow. I didn't know they mixed up the ages when assigning us to dorm buildings.”

“Me neither!??!”

The two of you just stared at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter. You were the first one to speak up through your giggles.

“You've been going here for 3 years and you didn't know either??”

He chuckled for a few seconds longer before taking in a breath and responding.

“I don't know! My roommates have always been in the same year as me and I'm not really the type to socialise with the neighbours.”

You giggled softly and he smiled widely at you, his eyes holding emotions you couldn't quite place, and you couldn't deny how much you wanted to just dive into them and find out every little detail about him.

“...Well I'm glad you decided to socialise with me, at least…” You mumbled before you even thought about it, shifting your arm to lay on the back of the couch as well, your fingers dangerously close to brushing against his.

He looked down at the floor with a shy smile before bringing his soft gaze back to you.

“...Me too…You're really cool, y/n…” Your heart skipping when he said your name was already more than you expected, but when the tip of his index finger brushed against your knuckle oh so lightly, it was as if a lightning bolt just ran through your body. Before you knew it, you'd yanked your hand away and were standing upright, fighting a blush quickly overtaking your face. Silence passed between you two for a few seconds, although it felt much much longer as you stood facing away and rubbing at the spot on your knuckle that he had touched.

“...Um…S-Sorry, I thought-”

“I-It's okay! I just…remembered I have class again in the morning, y’know?” You chuckled shyly, turning to face him despite the insanely obvious redness in your cheeks, which he definitely noticed as his cheeks slowly began taking on the same red colour.

“O-oh! R-Right!” He quickly stood, looking around and thinking for a moment.

“Uh…You can sleep in my bed if you want.”

Your blush only deepened as you stared at him, his words replaying in your head endlessly.

“...Huh?”

He just stared at you for a moment slightly confused before it hit him what you were thinking, his face growing so red that you could almost see the steam coming out of his ears.

“OH! NO! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT, GOD NO!” He slapped his hands over his face and you could've sworn you heard him mutter “idiot!” before sighing and dropping his hands again. “I meant…you sleep in my bed, and I sleep on the couch.”

“O-oh! That makes more sense…” You giggled shyly, looking down at the ground. “But…I'm fine sleeping on the couch y'know? I don't wanna like steal your bed…”

“It's fine!” He hurriedly responded. “Really! I don't mind.”

You looked at the small couch guiltily.

“...It doesn't look very comfortable…”

He followed you gaze to the couch before looking across the room and then back to you.

“Then…I can sleep in Hunter's bed! Would that make you feel better? And before you say anything, he won’t mind, so don't worry.”

You couldn't help but giggle about how he seemingly knew the next way in which you'd protest. He'd successfully removed every reason for you to deny his offer and all you could do was smile up at him.

“Well…how can I say no to that?” You giggled and he smiled widely, looking back at you with that adoring look once again and you couldn't help but feel your heart flutter.

“...A-Anyways…” you mumbled, cheeks almost hurting from how much you'd smiled already tonight, “I'll um…go to sleep, if that's okay?”

He nodded, smiling.

“Y-Yeah! Yeah, of course.”

“Is there anything you need from your room before I go in?”

He thought for a moment before shaking his head.

“You're all good.” He said softly. “It's just that door on the left, there.”

“Thanks…” You muttered softly, picking your bag up and carrying it over to the door. You heard him sigh and mumble something to himself as you entered his room, but you couldn't make it out, and honestly you were too distracted to care. It was like a million different emotions were running through you at once. You felt weird but also giddy, excited, wired, flustered, happy, anxious, nervous, shy, etc etc. Pretty much any feeling you could imagine.

You softly shut the door to his bedroom and looked around, feeling strange to be in a boy's- well…man’s bedroom, especially without the man himself present. But it also felt strangely comfortable; not all that messy but also not insanely spotless so at least you could rule out psychopath, just a few shirts here and there and a used cup sitting on one of the side tables by the bed.

You set your bag down in the corner and rummaged through to find the shirt you wore to class stuffed into the bottom, thanking your past self for feeling lazy and just throwing on a pair of jeans and a kind of oversized shirt earlier that morning. You hastily changed out of your work clothes and into the shirt, before realising you'd either have to sleep in jeans, which honestly sounded like a nightmare, or sleep in Minjae's bed in just your shirt with no pants on, the thought making your stomach flip as you stared over at the soft grey duvet blanketing his bed. You sighed, ignoring the heat re-entering your cheeks, and decided on the latter option, placing your phone on the end table before climbing into the bed. You sunk into the mattress, the bed being surprisingly comfier than your one back in your room. “I thought we all got the same bed??” You thought, pondering how his felt so much softer. You turned over onto your side and pressed your face into the pillow. “Even this pillow is softer…” You took a deep breath in, the fabric of his sheets smelling exactly how you thought they would: like a man. Y'know, sandalwood, musk, maybe a hint of lavender and fabric softener. It was nice. It had really been a while since you'd been in a man’s bed. You thought back to your exes and shuddered before flipping over onto your other side and reaching to turn the lamp off, the room being consumed with darkness as you sighed and let your eyes close softly.

The harsh sound of a phone alarm pierced your dreams and your eyes fluttered open, hand already reaching for your phone on the side tables to silence what had disturbed your slumber. You tapped the screen and rolled over, groaning as you buried your face into the pillow. It took breathing in the unfamiliar scented sheets for you to finally remember where you were, quickly shooting up and looking around the dim room, lit only by a weak streak of light coming from under the door. “Minjae's room. Minjae.”

“...It's way too early to feel this flustered…” You mumbled as you lightly slapped your slowly reddening cheeks, before swinging your legs over the edge of the bed and unsteadily picking yourself up. Yawning softly, you grabbed your phone and turned it on to see the time, squinting as the bright, white light filled your vision. “7am…I wonder if she's home yet…”

You quickly slipped your jeans from yesterday back on before creeping out of the room, your eyes meeting Minjae's back as he rummaged through the fridge. You stepped forward shyly.

“Um…Morning…”

“Oh!” He turned around, another container of food in his hands that he then placed on the counter. “H-Hey…um…sleep okay?”

You nodded softly, stepping up to the counter to see what he had.

“When is your class?” He pried open the container of what seemed to be scrambled eggs bacon before popping it into the microwave.

“O-Oh..9am. But my roommate should be home by then, if she isn't already.”

He smiled softly, eyes dropping to the ground.

“I see…”

A slightly awkward silence passed between the two of you, only being broken by the sound of the microwave beeping and him taking out his breakfast.

“Hungry?” He asked as he placed the warmed up breakfast on the counter and retrieved a fork from a drawer.

“Oh, no no. It's okay, you have it. I already ate your curry yesterday…”

He chuckled softly.

“I don't mind, y’know? Plus I'd already eaten dinner by the time you showed up.” He pushed the container towards you a small amount and you quickly pushed it back.

“N-No, really, you eat. I'll have something quick before class.”

He smiled and nodded before finally digging into the eggs. You took a good look at his face, more or less the same as yesterday; soft hair falling effortlessly over his forehead, thick black glasses sat low on his nose, with the addition of his skin seeming glossier than yesterday and you suddenly wondered if he had a morning skin care routine or something. “That would explain why he's so…beautiful…”

You thought, turning away and looking down as you fidgeted with the hem of your shirt. He was the same as yesterday, but with a certain ‘morning’ charm to him, not to mention the extra roughness his already deep voice had taken on that you were trying so desperately to ignore since the moment he'd opened his mouth to greet you a few minutes ago.

“So,” He suddenly snapped you out of your trance and you looked back over to him just in time to see his eyes trail down to your legs and back up to your face in a way that made your heart stutter, “was it comfortable sleeping in jeans?” He said with a slight chuckle. You felt a slight warmth enter your face as you remembered your whole inner conflict from last night.

“O-Oh, I didn't…sleep in these…”

He looked slightly confused for a moment before smirking.

“Did you really sleep in that business-y pencil skirt that I'm assuming was your work uniform?” He shovelled another bite of egg into his mouth, keeping his eyes on you as your face only grew redder.

“N-No…”

He chewed slowly and you could practically see the thoughts in his head trying to put things together.

“...Do you…carry spare clothes with you…?”

You shook your head before burying your face in your hands. You couldn't see his face but you could easily hear the fluster in his voice as it clicked in his head.

“...Oh…f-forget I asked…”

You felt so embarrassed. You were sure he thought you were a weirdo for treating his bed like it was yours. Either that or incredibly naive and innocent. “...Totally just ruined my chances-…”

You blushed even harder, something you didn't even think was possible.

“...Why did I think that…? I just met this guy!”

Your brain felt like a battlezone as you took a deep breath in and out before sliding your hands off of your face, only to turn and see his face also littered with a splotchy redness that you couldn't deny was so cute.

Luckily your phone that you had placed in your jean pocket vibrated, breaking the awkward silence that felt like a crushing weight that you couldn't hold for much longer. You quickly fished it out, seeing a text from your roommate reading:

“I’m home and I brought breakfast if you want.”

You sighed and quickly typed a response before slipping your phone back in your pocket.

“I should go. My roommate just got home.”

You smiled shyly as he finished up his food and pushed the container to the side before clearing his throat.

“O-Oh, y-yeah yeah…of course…”

The air still felt awkward and tense, like there were words between the two of you going unsaid, either one of you too afraid to speak them aloud.

“I'll...just grab my stuff.”

He nodded and you walked back to his room to grab your bag, feeling a weird pressure in your chest that you couldn’t quite place.

You hauled the bag back to where he was now standing by the door, ready to see you out. You slowed to a stop in front of him, looking down at the floor and fidgeting with the strap of your bag.

“So…um…thanks. For everything.”

You looked up at him with a soft shy smile and he turned away as soon as you made eye contact, his ears quickly beginning to burn up.

“O-Of course! I-I couldn't just leave you out there…”

You giggled softly and he turned back, chuckling along and swatching the back of his neck shyly.

“Hey…if you never need a place to stay again for…whatever reason…I'll always welcome you here.”

Your smile grew at his words.

“Thank you, Minjae…” You said quietly, your eyes taking in his pretty features as you felt your hand almost unconsciously grab your phone from your pocket.

“If it's okay…can I get your number?” You felt the blush return to your cheeks again as his eyes slowly widened. “J-Just in case…” You quickly stuttered out as if trying to soften the flirty tension your own words created.

He nodded and carefully took your phone into his hands, you having opened up your contacts so he could add his in.

“...Just in case…” He repeated in almost a whisper, fighting a smile pulling at his lips.

After a few quiet seconds of him tapping at your phone screen, he handed it back, and you just stared for a moment at the contact screen reading 'Minjae', the sight making you smile for some reason.

“Well…” you put your phone back in your pocket and smiled at him, “I should get going…”

You slowly turned and opened the door, stepping into the much colder hallway compared to the warmth of standing next to him.

“S-See you lat-”

“W-Wait!” His hand suddenly came around and grasped the edge of the door just as you began closing it, pulling it back open enough for him to look you in the eyes. You just gazed up at him, wide eyed from being so caught off guard.

“...Are you…d-do you…” he stuttered and you blinked nervously, waiting for him to continue.

“D-Do you have a boyfriend?” When he finally got the words out, you felt your breath catch and your heart almost stop. You couldn't fight the immense heat immediately taking over your face, but you felt comfortable in knowing that his looked just about as red as yours.

The light that entered his eyes as you shook your head made you melt with how endearing he seemed, a wide smile he couldn't hide quickly overtaking his features.

“O-oh! W-Well…g-good to know!” He exclaimed almost a little too loudly, forcing you to stifle a giggle. “I-I'll see you later then, y/n…”

You nodded with a smile and he pushed the door closed, leaving you in a sort of daze in the hallway, staring a hole into his door.

“Uh…earth to y/n?” You were startled by a sudden voice behind you and turned to see your roommate poking her head out of your dorm room. “Woah, dude, are you okay? Your face is super red.”

You felt embarrassed and shy, but all of that was overtaken by the unfiltered joy and excitement overtaking your heart and mind.

“Mhmm…I'm awesome…”

-

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

TAGLIST:

@chocoeon @hyunukitty @ihyeokzu @cake1box @chiiyuuvv @shortnstupid @dogyunslover

#xikers #xikers imagines #xikers fanfic #xikers fluff #xikers x reader #xikers minjae #minjae #kim minjae #minjae x reader

[au-wannabe-the-very-best]

I wanna chew on your Misplaced Super Train AU like it's got the texture of perfectly toasted potato bread. I wanna squeeze it like it's a triple-overstuffed squishmallow and wrap it around me like a silken weighted blanket.

This has got to be my single most favorite AU of yours so far, and I feel it with such intensity that all the All Caps and exclamation points in the world could not help me express it.

Feed

Me

More

Please

Like, does the group do anything about Volo, or does he manage to avoid them/avoid giving them Rancid Vibes? I feel like they would have a pretty good mix of people/pokemon able to pick up on individual little things that come together to make a Concerning Picture.

And how are the people (Emmet et. al.) back home doing? How do they feel? Because a whole group of people disappearing launches people straight into conspiracy theories rather than just ("just") the concern a single dissappearance would generate.

Would the group show up in history books? Would Ingo & Co know they were gonna disappear (a lá Stable Time Loop) or is it more like they don't show up in history until it happens (if at all)? (Time is weird.)

I think because of the fact that they just accidentally came through a space-time rift, Volo's operating under the assumption that they weren't sent to stop his plans or anything, so he just avoids them. As for the group, I think it would be super funny if they have like. An instinct for people who wield legendaries. Because they're so used to passengers trying to sneak them into the battle subway. They're BANNED for a reason.

So, like, they KNOW Volo's got legendary voodoo all over him but they don't particularly care? Not their passenger, not their problem.

As for the family back home, Emmet and the others aren't really handling this very well. Interpol gets involved immediately, but their lack of results is very discouraging. See, before this, there has been things disappearing throughout history that logically shouldn't just disappear! Things like a whole fridge or a washing machine, for example. But it's always been attributed to a thief who's got a really well-trained psychic type, or something like that. Nobody is going to connect these random disappearances to a whole ass train vanishing off the tracks, despite the fact that they're both connected to the space-time distortions. Up until this point, all previous disappearances were low-level and weren't given much investigation.

So there's really... no precedence on how to handle this. Not even "fallers" are as bizarre as this. Plus, there's no ultra wormhole energy, so that's ruled out fairly quickly. Interpol has got no leads. And the internet is getting wild with the conspiracy theories, much to the dismay of the family and friends of those who went missing.

Emmet breaks his phone against a wall when some tabloid claims it's a publicity stunt.

Anyways, no, I don't think Ingo or the depot agents had any clue they were going to disappear, but I DO think this is going to be a "stable time loop" scenario— while in the past, they're going to have the caution to not reveal much future info, and keep their identities generally a secret. Not to mention, in the future, the "secret third alien clan in Hisui" is considered a conspiracy theory, regardless of the evidence of their existence. It doesn't really reach the ears of the Unovan subway workers, outside of lesser-known memes. There's no photos of them, and the only person in their group who has much a reason to be interacting with anyone native to Hisui would be Ingo. And that's just because Lady Sneasler's taken quite the liking to him. There's the added plus that with Ingo's amnesia, he actually doesn't run much of a risk when it comes to revealing things, so they're not as worried about him interacting with the locals as they are of Big Mouth Cameron who told people they were FROM ANOTHER WORLD.

I also think, when they return, a lot of the proof of their existence is going to be taken with them... Which doesn't leave much for the historians to find.

When they come back, though? Oh, the historical community is going to have a field day with the goodies they brought back.

#Misplaced Super Train #Submas #Subway Boss Ingo #Subway Boss Emmet #Ingo #Emmet #depot agents #PLA Ingo #PLA #Pokemon #Pokémon #Volo

[spacesurfing]

For the ghost request,

Can I request a fluff platonic reader/ghouls, the reader is a new ghoul to the band and she’s younger than the rest of the ghouls, and she sees the ghouls as older siblings, especially Swiss as he’s a sort of a mentor/older brother since they both share the spot he’s at on stage, kinda long prompt but I hope that’s ok!

I actually love this idea, cause it kinda just feels like I'm writing lighthearted fluff where the characters can also be mean to the reader in a joking way. Actually, I love making characters mean to the reader in general. I'm getting side tracked.

•--•

Two Fools On The Stage of Shame

The Band Ghost x Reader

Summary: How can one feel comfortable living with a bunch of scary ghouls? Oh wait, you're also one!

Warnings: platonic love between all the ghouls, Swiss is like a big brother to the reader <3

GIF NOT MINE!!

•--•

Swiss smirked at you after doing one of his dramatic drops on stage. It really sucked sometimes being stuck in the, what Copia referred to it as, "The Stage of Shame" with a total airhead.

It sure felt shameful watching your, what you thought of as a big brother, basically hump his microphone stand while you stood with a tambourine in hand and a microphone in front of you. But it was funny to think about how different he would act if girls in the crowd didn't drool over him touching his microphone sensually.

You didn't really understand why Copia needed another ghoul in the crew, even the addition of Sunshine was random (you had heard). But the moment you were summoned and introduced with a stage name, the rest of the ghouls looked around in confusion.

You remember Dewdrop being the first to speak up.

"Where exactly is she gonna be? And what is she even gonna do? This was pointless," he groaned, rolling his eyes.

You had also remembered the flush of pure embarrassment spreading through your face.

Copia waved his hand in the air, "She is to help with Swiss, ah? Keep him on his feet," he said with a chuckle.

A taller ghoul with the brightest teeth you'd ever seen before raised his hand above the group, "I meant to do that!"

"Sure you did, mio amico."

And now here you stood, shoulders loose and hands moving actively to create music. Your relationship with Dewdrop had improved since then. He finally started to see you as one of them and not just a waste of space. His words exactly.

And when the final note of the final song finally drifted through the air, you felt your shoulders slump completely. Goodbye Americas! The states treated you extremely well, but you were starting to miss the eerie corridors of the ministry.

Swiss let the mic go, edging it as it must've been on the brink of orgasm, cause all he ever talked about was being good with his hands. Dirty mind.

He snatched the tambourine out of your hand and rested it on the hanger attached to your mic stand, waving it off as he snatched you off your feet and hopped off the small stage.

It was the part of the show you never seemed to get used to - being thrown flowers at and various t-shirts and sometimes even bras. Usually you got stuffed animals thrown at you - you couldn't complain though, but your bed might start.

"You did alright out there, Tiny," Aether joked, coming from behind you to shake your shoulders around. His smile was wide, hooking his arm around your neck and pulling you into him for a tight, brotherly hug.

The crowd cheered at that, a black painted rose being thrown at your feet, then two more. You look in the crowd to see a girl with light brown hair pooling over her shoulders, bouncing for you to see her as she held up a bouquet of real roses, all painted black.

You smiled widely at her and she threw the whole thing at you. You picked it up equally, along with the additional 3. Handing one to Aether, you slipped away under his arm to see Dewdrop.

Tapping him on the shoulder, he turned and tilted his head. "Is that for me??" he asked eagerly, stepping to you with a glowing excitement. You gave it to him gently with a wide smile.

Cutting in front of you to make his way on harassing Rain, Swiss snatched the third loose one. You rolled your eyes, figuring he'd give it to the water ghoul anyways, you turned to run up to Mountain.

You snatched up the best one, painted dark and void of any color there was before that, you handed it to your tall friend. He took it with a bow, "You're the sweetest, you know that?"

You shrugged as he pat your head with care. Turning to look at the crowd, they were going wild, and many were looking at you.

You could get used to this.

•--•

Masterlist

[bengiyo]

Cooking Crush Ep 3 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Prem began teaching Ten how to cook after first trying to make him go away, because Prem's sister lost her tuition money. Things got off to a rough start because Ten isn't used to open markets and also is touch-repulsed, but they made it through. Dynamite followed Fire onto his date and tormented him with faces.

Dish 3: Mission Steamed (Scammed) Egg"

I'm such a fan of Dynamite. Love him checking on Prem.

The timing of Fire getting to move into a condo and Dynamite having difficulties with his dorm is hopefully a setup. Still, was not expecting something as mundane as a neighbor passing and rotting in the apartment above you to be part of this show.

Okay, Ten is definitely flirting here.

Ten being a picky eater tracks. I don't believe him when he says he's not picky.

@lurkingshan pointed it out to me already, but I do like how Prem is trying to stay out of Ten's personal space.

Okay, but I wanted them to finish making the steamed eggs.

200,000 baht is quite a bit for lessons.

Dome and Aungpao is a great comedic pairing. I enjoy every scene they have together.

I was hoping Fire would move into this building. Now we'll get more scenes with Dynamite, Fire, and Samsi away from school.

Dynamite having no shame about his attraction to Fire is a treat for me.

Big fan of Ten fixing the glove, especially with how extra he's being about it. I like that he didn't hand the task to one of the staff.

I'm glad Ten's friends know about the classes and Ten doesn't feel like he's getting swindled.

Like with My Ride, I like when doctors experience The Heart Knows and think they're having a medical episode.

I enjoyed Dynamite's punny line deliveries this episode.

Off is actually doing a really good job as Ten. I've seen him a lot recently, and this character feels distinct.

Prem, please mute your phone in class! You're already underperforming!!

I love this cooking friend group so much. They said, "Girl, please clean up for your date."

This scene with Ten's friend confronting him about leaving early was also so funny.

Excellent! Everyone figures out their feelings next week!

I'm glad we're still getting BL romcoms, even if I'm generally approving of the more dramatic bent we've taken of late. This cast is pretty good at it, too!

#cooking crush #cooking crush the series #thai bl #bl series #Ben watches

[aeor-is-for-reccing]

Shadowgast Recs: Featuring Astrid or Eadwulf

This week we have nine recs for fics that feature Astrid and/or Eadwulf behind the cut! Don't forget to comment or kudos on the stories!

Hard Mouth by road_rhythm (216254,Explicit) Warnings: Generally dark, torture, author chose not to warn.

While the Nein are in Aeor, Trent uses the dream spell to invade Caleb's mind. Things get worse from there.

Reccer says: The writing is extremely vivid and the story engrossing, but I also adore this version of Astrid

More Things than Heaven and Earth by kaeda (76998,Mature) Warnings: None

Caleb and Essek find themselves transported to what appears to be the plot of Tusk Love.

Reccer says: The fic starts off as a romp but consistently chooses to allow all of the characters a surprising amount of depth. Features a great Astrid and Eadwulf

Neighborhood Watch by timbrene (2800,Teen) Warnings: None!

Astrid notices a disguised Essek has set up residence at Caleb's home and sets out to investigate what he could be plotting.

Reccer says: Astrid and Eadwulf are both perfect in this, especially Astrid; her certainty that "Bren" is getting manipulated by this Dynasty elf who's definitely a threat to national security is such a funny messed-up Volstrecker twist on being concerned for your friend. It's heartwarming and will put a smile on your face.

look forward lest the past catch up by iniquiticity (11328,Explicit) Warnings: None

Astrid saves Essek from an assassination attempt, leaving him with a newfound appreciation for his own life.

Reccer says: There's just something about a near death experience that makes you want to go desperately make out with your sort of boyfriend, and this fic really captured that.

do you have enough love in your heart, to go and get your hands dirty? by SaltCore (4355,Mature) Warnings: Graphic descriptions of violence (offensive dunamancy), mentions of torture

Getting Bren out of a tight spot forced you into uncomfortable company, Astrid. As his friend heals him, take a little time to think about one member of the Mighty Nein, the one who helped, the one you trust the least.

Reccer says: This is a beautiful example of the "Astrid and Essek hissing at each other like angry cats because they're both concerned about Caleb" genre. The prose is gorgeous and very vivid, Astrid's POV is cutting and feels so much like her. All the characters are perfect. Highly recommend it.

you are what we could've been by vagabondfirelilly (2744,General) Warnings: None

Caleb lets it slip that he is married to Essek, while in the presence of his former lovers.

Reccer says: Very bittersweet, it's lovely to think about Caleb and Essek being married, but between the fic being written from Eadwulf's perspective, and the reaction this revelation illicits from Astrid, there's a real sense of pain and loss from what could've been.

The Annual Rexxentrum Cat Show by hanap (776,Teen) Warnings: None

Four wizards engage in many shenanigans to try winning the prestigious Annual Rexxentrum Cat Show.

Reccer says: It's fun! All four of this group really show off their wizardly competitive spirit in this fic, and it's a delight to read.

Cultivate a space for the things that hurt you most by PryingBlackbird (102212,Mature) Warnings: Main-character death (gets resurrected), Trent Ikithon, Blumenkids backstory

Astrid, Caleb, Eadwulf and Essek are complicated people who each battle their own demons. Their pahths keep crossing during this alternate retelling of late C2.

Reccer says: It creates a narrative of late C2 that features Astrid and Wulf more heavily and also has some nice Shadowgast slowburn. Also so much angst. The ending is a good one and a bit different from the campaign.

I'd hate to put us up against yesterday by joldiego (1485,Teen) Warnings: Feeblemind

Caleb and Essek show up at Astrid's place badly hurt; Essek under feeblemind

Reccer says: It's a very promising start, and I love the Astrid point of view

Aeor is for Lovers is an 18+ Shadowgast Discord server. The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. All fics, unless otherwise specified, will primarily feature Shadowgast.Have any questions about what this is?

Check out the FAQ! Next week’s theme is Wild Magic!

#Critical Role #Shadowgast #essek thelyss #Caleb Widogast #astrid beck #Eadwulf Grieve #CR fic #Critical Role Fic #Fanfic Recs #CR Fic recs

[warningsine]

Now that we’ve gotten to the end of Girls5eva season three, there’s just 6 much we’ve seen the girl group sing about: the hotness of boys in space, UTIs, knee surgery. But in the quest to be famous 5eva, one song has to be No. 1. Using a highly scientific process known as “listening to my own taste,” I ranked the output of Girls5eva thus far, focusing both on whether the songs are good as stand-alone songs and whether they are actually funny. For the sake of clarity, I stuck to the music available on the show’s official cast recordings, which does leave off several gems we only hear for a few seconds onscreen. (Why didn’t we get a studio version of Dawn’s song where she uses every possible definition of the word “set”? This is a question I can only yell fruitlessly at the screen and hope for a response.) Until then, we will make do with this list of the excellent Girls5eva material that is available on a music-streaming service near you.

32) “U Ready?” A filler song that is itself a joke about filler songs, you have to admire the number of ways the Girls5eva writers have the group stall for time. The delivery is very funny, and we get all the girls (including Ashley Park) doing their best ready-for-MTV voices to confirm they are, indeed, “in the house” and “ready.” However, the concept is better as an elaborate joke than a song, per se. Best line: “If you’re ready, could you say ‘ready’? Because you could be ‘in the house’ and not ‘ready.’”

31) “Home Alone Doorknob” This is barely a song, but man, it’s a funny metaphor for what happens to your clitoris when you get horny. Best line: “It’s gonna get sexy, so watch out, Joe Pesci!”

30) “The Splingee” Another exercise in specific girl-group humor, Girls5eva describes how to do a “dope” dance move that is supposedly taking the world by storm. It involves whipping your hair, doing figure eights with your waist, blinking with two eyes, and getting all shy like you want to cry. The instructions end with the note that “the only thing left to do is repeat it two more times to make one complete splingee.” Honestly, it sounds like a home workout I should try. Best line: “Grind up on a ghost, then shake it out.”

29) “Who U Know” A solo performance by Jeremiah Craft’s Lil Stinker (who later gets canceled and rebrands as a country act), this is a send-up of name-dropping rap singles, with Stinker just listing everyone he knows, from his mom to his friend’s mom to Alfre Woodard. Best line: “From Zendaya to Zen-die-a!”

28) “No Strings” Gloria spends season three trying to hook up with every type of woman, but realizes that she’s a romantic after all. Here, she’s trying to embrace a no-strings-attached dynamic through a nonsensical folk tune that’s about a couple chasing the moon in an airplane powered by love. Best line: “A morning that never came until the coroner said to the wizard ‘time of death,’ the same.”

27) “Line Up” ”This is the song that launches Girls5eva’s comeback, since Lil Stinker samples “Famous 5eva” on it. We’ll get to their original hit later on, but the Stinker side of it is pretty generic as a placeholder for the kind of song that might sample something from the early 2000s. Best line: “I know you wanna light up, forever 5eva enough.”

26) “Thinking About Myself” One of Dawn’s stabs at songwriting early in season two, this is a fairly direct ballad about self-involvement. It does have some great zealous grandstanding vocals from Renée Elise Goldsberry, though. Best line: “Crying harder than anyone at a funeral for a great-uncle I barely knew.”

25) “Space Boys” In the chronicles of Girls5eva’s adventures in dating, here we have them going on an interstellar boy-kissing mission. Sadly they don’t have a TARS to keep them company, but after checking every planet they can (including “the stars”) they find some space boys (“more exotic than a waiter from France!”). On the show, the song accompanies some flashbacks to a young Gloria trying to avoid making out with actual boys, but solely as music, it’s just a low-key sci-fi jam. Best line: “We found a planet full of girls, but we left!”

24) “Later” An empowerment song in the genre of “Brave,” sung of course by Sara Bareilles, but about procrastination. The drum and piano orchestrations are so inspiring it’s easy to ignore that the message is that you really don’t need to do anything right now. Best line: “Now’s the not the right time, let’s aim for next year when we’ll have no fear, maybe by then the problems got solved by themselves all on their own.”

23) “Boyz Next Door (Puber-Dude)” To match the queasy sexualization of the Girls5eva, this number offers up the chance to objectify the just-recently pubescent members of Boyz Next Door, who have become the “hottest boys in the cul-de-sac” with a “Backstreet’s Back”–style anthem of their own. Who could resist their thin little mustaches, awkward growth spurts, and bland conversation? Best line: “Floppy hair, greasy brow, Adam’s apple going pow-pow-pow.”

22) “Sweet’N Low Daddy” Another vault track: In season three, the adult members of Girls5eva are pretty embarrassed by the message of their old hit about the benefits of dating an older man, but man, it’s pretty catchy, so you can understand why Cat Cohen’s character took it as gospel. Their ideal daddy has parents you never need to meet because they died during Nixon, and, of course, the song ends with the crucial question: “Real talk, when are you going to die?” Best line: “Don’t need to graduate, because we’re elder bait!”

21) “Can’t Wait 2 Wait” Back in the day, Busy Phillips’s Summer and Andrew Rannells’s Kev collabed on this break-out Christian-pop single about the joys of not having sex yet. Its fun hook and a peppy atmosphere bely the sheer grossness of the overall message. Best line: “Premarital urges aren’t itches to be scratched, so look up medical oddities until those feelings pass.”

20) “Daughter Hero” Renée Elise Goldsberry gets to do a groovy ’90s ballad with Wickie in celebration of her own generosity to her mother, never mind the fact that she comes from a solidly upper-middle-class family. She buys her mom a house, a house that’s significantly less nice than the one she already has! Best line: “Daughter hero, like if Jesus had a sister!”

19) “New York City Moms” An obvious sequel to “New York Lonely Boy” (more on that below), this song brings on Ingrid Michaelson(!) to perform an ode to the women of the city who have chosen to wait to have kids. A celebration of the moms who have “bumps poking out of Eileen Fisher” and are “judged by their husband’s out-of-town sister,” the Girls5eva writers can riff endlessly on very niche New York micro-communities, and bless them for that. Best line: “Spent their 20s in a disco, still younger than moms in San Francisco.”

18) “Summer Brings the Fall” Kev’s best attempt at a torch song involves an increasingly convoluted series of attempts at wordplay that I can’t help but respect. It starts out with “thought you were for ev, thought you were for Kev, you were like whatev, now I pray to heav … for strength” and just gets more forced from there. Best line: “Thought I was your male, cause you’re my holy grail.”

17) “Is There a Me?” Season three brought Busy Philipps a short but sweet bit of soul-searching in which Summer questions if she has any identity of her own, or if her personality has just been a series of attempts to please guys. Points for Philipps showing off some vocal training, deductions for the amount of Netflix cross-marketing involved. Best line: “Do I even like The Witcher, or is it just to please a mister? And what is The Witcher? I watched 40 minutes and I’m still not sure!”

16) “Inside My Sweater” Girls5eva’s music industry gets awfully specific with its parody of a Harry Styles–type sensitive boy hounded by mobs of fans named Gray Holland, played by Gossip Girl alum Thomas Doherty (he also played a similar role on the late, lamented High Fidelity Hulu reboot). As far as sound-alikes go, this Harry–slash–Shawn Mendes low-key bob is eerily accurate but also somehow a successful earworm, especially in the way Doherty refuses to ever pronounce the “r” in “sweater.” Best line: “Come dance and cook and make sweet love with me, inside my sweater!”

15) “Welcome to Now” Doherty’s soft-boy star Gray Holland returns, against his own will, in a pop hit constructed by his label “because Clause 46B, Paragraph Q of the artist’s contract grants the company use of postmortem generative voice cloning.” It’s the funnier of the two Gray Holland songs, and the beat’s so sensual you may miss that it quickly becomes an ad for the deals available at Best Buy. Best line: “Best Buy, Best Buy, Gray Holland loves Best Buy. Tablets, projectors, and more. You’re the best, bye!”

14) “Larry’s Song” The girls get their Taylor’s Version moment with this kiss off to their former manager that references many of the show’s recurring jokes about the indignities of early aughts fame, including him promising a steak knife to whoever seduces Carson Daly. The twist by the end is that they’ve finally gotten some financial and personal control, and thus, “everything we do belongs to us.” Best line: “Only let us eat crab, cause you can’t get fat from food that’s so damn hard to get at.”

13) “At the Beep” No, you’re tearing up thinking about a fictional character who died in an infinity-pool accident. In this episode, Gloria finally gives up on her conspiracy theories about Ashley’s death and accepts that she might really be gone. (I do wonder if Ashley Park would’ve been available for a longer run in season two if Emily in Paris hadn’t gotten so big.) This results in a somber number where girls say good-bye to Ashley through her still-active (because Gloria has been paying) answering-machine service. Best line: “It should have been me.” “I did a lot of cocaine, so much cocaine.”

12) “Get It Off Your Chest” In a moment of confession and healing in season three, the women of Girls5eva share their darker secrets with each other and their audience. The result is a series of tightly written jokes from the show’s writing staff: Wickie only likes people who “like me,” “but be careful, if you like me too much, it has the opposite effect and I find you desperate,” Gloria doesn’t trust stand-up comics who are too in shape, Summer hasn’t listened to a voice-mail since 2015, and finally, Dawn delivers my favorite … Best line: “Every year when my son’s school sends out the class list with parents’ names, the first thing I do is Google them to see what they paid for their apartments.”

11) “Momentum” Starting off season two, the girls have got momentum, yeah, um, it’s their moment (bless you, Jeff Richmond) with a song that’s relatively straightforward within the Girls5eva canon but is also a solid earworm. I have to respect that groovy baseline, too. Best line: “Unstoppable, this unst-unst ain’t toppable.”

10) “Tap Into Your (Fort) Worth” A canny marketing move: The girls of 5Eva plot a way to secure a captive audience by writing a song about an American city nobody else has written a song about. The result is a clever ode to Dallas’s overlooked sister, declaring that “cow town is a wild town with a walkable downtown” and trumpeting the fact that the Trinity River is, in some places, now actually swimmable. It’s enough to make you want to consider booking a flight to DFW, maybe just as a connection, but still. Best line: “Some say Omaha Zoo is second-best, but that’s a lie because their red panda is always inside. It’s never out on the tree, yeah!”

9) “I’m Afraid (Dawn’s Song of Fears)” Sometimes you just have to let Sara Bareilles loose with a piano and sing like she’s performing “Gravity.” Here, Dawn’s attempt to write a song on her own ends with her just listing things she’s afraid of, from the fact that she might thrive under Scientology to her fear that she’ll text a pic of her vagina to her dad. There’s something very funny to me about the way Bareilles says “my hummus is fungus” and I have to own that. Best line: “I’m afraid that the second I leave town I’ll get a UTI. Why can’t they sell those pills over the counter? I don’t need a doctor, I know exactly what it is.”

8) “Yesternights” Finally, a full taste of Wickie’s solo album, a work absolutely choked by melisma and sung impeccably by Renée Elise Goldsberry. It’s, as she sings, “gorgeous and sensual” and also “life fancy,” and also “dancing, yearning.” You could probably slip it on a sex playlist and nobody would notice, and frankly, we need an eight-minute version. Best line: “But tonight, there is no night or tomorrow night / Or any future night / ’Cause you’re only in my yesternight of nights.”

7) “The Medium Time” Sara Bareilles wrote the Girls5eva’s season-three finale hit song, which is about being inspired not to aim for immense fame, but a reasonable, medium level of attention. Bareilles is so good at selling the earnest, heartfelt feeling behind the song that you may forget that the wise man who told her this advice, in the universe of the show, was actually Richard Kind. Best line: “The middle is the riddle of it all, and the medium time is just fine for now.”

6) “Dream Girlfriends” The satire of Girls5eva cuts deepest here, in this song from their original run about all the ways they’d be willing to debase themselves to appeal to men. The list includes the fact that their dads are dead, that their moms are overtired so there’ll be no pushback, that they want to watch you play darts and love watching stand-up (but not by women). “Dream Girlfriends” cuts both ways, managing to make the men it’s supposed to appeal to sound pathetic as well. The girls are short so they don’t know you’re bald! Best line: “Tell me again why Tarantino’s a genius.”

5) “Bend Not Break” Near the end of season two, the women of Girls5eva realize their best song is actually about Gloria’s knee surgery. Metaphorically, it’s really about how they have to learn to compromise and acknowledge each other’s weaknesses to support their success, but there is also literally a joke about how she uses a cane. Anyway, it’s got a groove that’s hard to shake and does really make you want to dance (carefully, in a way that doesn’t risk further knee injury). Best line: “We got our secret weapon already, and it’s got eight legs, four smiles, and a cane.”

4) “Famous 5eva” Perhaps the best theme song in the vast universe of television today, here Girls5eva embraces the joys of counting by promising they’ll be famous 5eva — ’cuz 4eva’s too short. Those synths have an addictive crunch, and there’s something about the way they describe the series of cars they’re driving in (first a Lexus, then a Mercedes and then a Maserati) that’s gleefully ridiculous. The show has to make you believe the girls really are talented, and that there’s something joyful about watching them perform. This does both. Best line: “We’re Girls5eva, could we get a high SIX?”

3) “B.P.E.” Put your hands together for a “We Are the Champions”–style celebration of big pussy energy. Girl5eva’s absurdist answer to “WAP” celebrates their “Vitamin P” with some gospel-choir-esque harmonies. And the remix, which outdoes the original, adds in some church bells to heighten the energy. It will make you tap into whatever B.P.E. you have of your own. Best line: “Square feet, I’m going for miles, upgrade, taking up the aisles, open up those classified files from the Department of Treasury.”

2) “New York Lonely Boy” The best of the Girls5eva songs in terms of straight joke-writing, “New York Lonely Boy” applies a Simon and Garfunkel sensibility to the tales of hyperarticulate soft boys who know too much about mixing plaids and the dangers of restaurants on the corner (they just try too hard). Its comedy is sort of tangential from Girls5eva’s overall focus on the music industry, but it’s so perfectly realized that it doesn’t matter. Any show that can deliver such a specific encapsulation of a type — to the extent that I now think of various former St. Anne’s students who’ve became indie celebrities (okay, just Lucas Hedges) as New York Lonely Boys — deserves to run forever. Best line: “His playground is the lobby, has a palate for wasabi.”

1) “Four Stars” If “Famous 5eva” had to establish Girls5eva as it was, then “Four Stars” has to do the work of making you believe the second iteration of the group has come into its own. It does this delightfully well, with an anthem about embracing your imperfections that includes plenty of tossed-off jokes from each of the band members. (I’m particularly fond of “women are an ocean of secrets!”) Plus there’s something great about the harmonies of everyone singing “four stars” together. I have put this on exercise playlists, and it works! Best line: “The best things in life are free, that’s why rich people never carry wallets.”

#girls5eva

[esrah-rah-rasputin]

Going through movies from the past that were set in the future, except that future is now our past (2001: A Space Odyssey style)

This is going to be a longish series so I'm going to make this a reblog chain, here's the current list I've made using IMDB. Here's the list lol

2019: after the fall of new york (1983) Defcon 2012 (2010)(edited) 2012 Ice Age (2011) 2012 (2009) tamala 2010: a punk cat in space (2002) 2010: the year we make contact (1984) 2009: lost memories (2002) 2002 (2001) 2001: a space travesty (2000) 2001: a space odyssey (1968) Equalizer 2000 (1987) Fantasia 2000 (1999) Death Race 2000 (1987)(edited) Cherry 2000 (1975) Blues Brothers 2000 (1998) Summer vacation 1998 (1988) Class of 1999 (1990) 1984 (1956) Class of 1984 (1982)

I've already watched Death Race 2000, and Defcon: 2012, so I'll put those first. I'd be lying if I said these were in any particular order

Death Race 2000

rating: 4/10

If you're going to watch this and enjoy it you need to know that it's a political satire from the start, and bizarrely funny. Unfortunately, it doesn't really make its point clear until the last five minutes, which is "America is gratuitously violent and there's no fucking reason for that" and "if anyone disagrees with that, hit them with a car"

The actual premise is "What if in the year 2000, America turned into a gratuitously violent, near-global state that celebrated each year with a cross-country race where racers try to hit as many people as possible. And also, what if there was a group who didn't like that and tried to stop it by matching a rebel leader's granddaughter in shotgun with the only two time winner of the cross-country race?"

Interesting notes:

there is a nazi flag in the first five minutes, and a character duo who have nazism as their motif. Because it's a political satire and it's a mile marker to show the level of issues involved. However they do end up driving off a cliff and there's an extended explosion scene

disappointingly, the guy who's supposedly gotten in multiple car crashes and has several prosthetics has no physical evidence of that

surprisingly, he DOES look like he designed his own (fake) leather dom outfit, cape included, with only vague descriptions of what one looks like

there's the funniest fight scene ever about an hour into the movie between this guy and another guy (played by Sylvester Stallone) dressed like a 30s gangster, while sax plays

Defcon: 2012

rating: 2/10 generally, 7/10 if you're genuine about enjoying it

I'm 100% sure this was someone's film school project, and if you like the idea of a 2010 emo dystopia movie filmed almost entirely in an abandoned mall, with three out of *maybe* eight characters voiced by TTS, you'll like this.

The actual premise is "local tormented teen and co. go to a supposedly abandoned Earth to go scavenger hunting, but discover an underground human community, and the real way Earth was taken over (it involves imperialism)"

Interesting notes:

Pretty much every single scene without talking is overlaid with EDM and 2010 metal. The soundtrack's pretty good actually

One of the characters wears a CGI'd helmet, and I'm honestly impressed by the amount of effort put into editing it

I'm 90% sure the person who made this watched Battlestar Galactica from the filters over every scene

It's written like the person who made it has just learned they can say the fuck word and not get in trouble

I'm also pretty sure one of the cast members is the mom of another one of the cast members. Good for her

Shoutout to a couple throwaway lines about how colonization is bad and how in the story, the 2012 Mayan calendar thing actually has nothing to do with it (even though it seems like it initially). Surprisingly anticapitalist implications overall, I wish this was focused on more

Only problem I have with the movie is that I think it wrapped up too quickly, which seemed beyond the control of the people who were making it so I can't fault them for that really

#Esrah talks #Esrah watches movies #<- tag I'll use I guess as I go through this idk #death race 2000 #defcon: 2012

[palettepainter]

Not sure if you're still answering these type of ask. But do you have any Clifford headcanons? 👉👈

Maybe some about what Clifford and Zee's relationship was like???

my askbox is pretty much always open so people can ask for headcannons anytime! A heads up to longtime Clifford fans I've gotten a general idea of his character through watching episodes/clips from Muppets Tonight, so idk if theres other videos of him

-I did a post a while back with some Clifford headcannons so you can read them here: Palettepainter101 — Got any headcanons for Clifford? (tumblr.com)

-As for him and Zee overall they where a pretty normal, but fashionable, couple. From watching Muppets Tonight Clifford strikes me as the type of guy who is just trying to do his job, get paid, and put food on the table. If he's not dealing with some dumb shit backstage then he will be later. I kind of love him for that, he's just trying to run a show, let the man do his job.

-When they met Zee was just a singer and hadn't started her teaching career just yet. Zee sang at different joints more or less as a very passionate hobby, she was paid well but the gigs where far and few, so she wanted to get a fulltime job to make ends meet. She applies for a job at the Muppets Tonight studios for an actor, with her career as a dancer she was used to a stage and working alongside other muppets was a new change of pace that sounded fun to her. Since Zee was already a singer and proved to already have experience on a stage she got hired relatively quickly

-Zee had always preformed alone, so while it took a bit for her to adjust having acting partners she soon made quick friends with some of the other actors on the show. Being one of the oldest cousins to Zoot she's also naturally the mum friend of their group, so isn't afraid of rolling up her sleeves to get stuff down. Her and Clifford where pretty close by this point, since Zee was good at keeping a level head and people seemed to listen to her Clifford trusted her with a lot of other things he didn't have the time for.

In some bloopers for Muppets Tonight there's this one where Clifford gets into a fight with Johnny and his chimp Sal. I think it'd be funny if Zee see's this going down and naturally goes over to see what's wrong, manages to calm Sal down with nothing more then a few calm words and a smile, and the pair go on their way, before she turns to Clifford and probably asks "You good boss?"

-During the time when the two where starting to crush on each other there was a lot of flirting/playful teasing. Zee and Clifford could match each others energy, and their impeccable fashion tastes, but it took them ages to actually start dating. A lot of people on the show assumed they where dating long before they actually where because the back and fourth flirting game went on forever. The day Clifford actually went to ask Zee out stuff kept getting in his way, in typical, comical muppet fashion. Whenever he got round to talking with Zee something else would pop up, or Pepe and Seymour would interrupt him, then Zee would be called over by somebody else and he'd loose his chance. It wasn't until the end of the day when Clifford flops down in his office chair does Zee pop by with a coffee, probably with a "Sheesh, you look rough creampuff" comment (not unkindly). Clifford sighs, saying something about how the day was so hectic and how he looks like a mess. Zee chuckles, saying that he's still got his looks, and then Clifford asks her out

-The two where already flirty before they began dating, so adding dating to the mix felt totally natural for them. With Zee as his girlfriend Zee helped out a lot more with the operations of running the show, the stuff Clifford often handled alone with occasional help from Pepe and Rizzo. Zee's singing career had been pretty popular, but Muppets Tonight was really when it started to take off. Clifford made space for her to sing songs in-between acts to warm up the audience, and Clifford loves to hear her sing. The two where still very flirty even after dating, and might have snuck in a few make out sessions in Clifford's office during commercial breaks.

I want to say they dated for a handful of years, perhaps the two had started to share their own space (perhaps rumours of the two buying a new place together and settling down, only Zee and Clifford know for sure). But Zee was eventually approached by a business man to give her a brand deal with her singing, only issue is Zee would have to move. Clifford and her had a long talk about it, and at first they tried to make long distance work, but in the end neither wanted to hold the other back and decided to remain friends

#Muppets #Muppets Tonight #Zee #Clifford #Muppet OC

[eli-writes-sometimes]

Incorrect quotes tag

Got tagged by the lovely @fire-but-ashes-too, thanks for that!

So i may have got slightly carried away with this, it's under a cut for a reason

Tagging - @druidx @dogmomwrites @new-royston-cursebreakers @holdmyteaplease @oh-no-another-idea @irisisasleep (do you have ocs? idk but this is funny and i think youd approve) and anyone else who wants to this!

Here's the link to the quote generator I used!

So, this is technically a ships tag, but I only have two main ships (Harper and Luke from Superlosers and Rune and Veronica from PPP) so I did those two as well as their two friend groups because I thought it was funny and got a bit carried away.

Also sorry if the spacing is weird, I did half of thi on mobile and half on desktop

Enjoy!

Luke and Harper:

Luke: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives.

Harper: I wake up at 4:30 AM every day to train.

Luke: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives.

Harper: Act natural.

Luke: For this kind of situation, the most natural thing would be to panic, so technically I can panic.

Harper: NO, that’s not what I meant! Act like it’s a normal day!

Luke: My ‘normal’ days of late, consist of a lot of panic.

Harper: Will you just cooperate?

Luke: When a person is panicking, they are not apt to cooperate very well!

Luke, sweating: Harper, there’s something I need to ask you-

Harper: Finally! You’re proposing!

Luke: How’d you know?

Harper: Luke, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Harper: I even picked it up once.

Harper: Are you okay?

Luke, crying: Yeah, it was just the onions.

Harper: *Picks up an onion* What the fuck did you say to Luke?

Harper, skipping rocks on a lake with Luke: It’s such a beautiful evening.

Luke: Yeah, it is.

Luke: *whispering* Take that you fucking lake.

And here's the whole group!

Ivy: What starts with F and ends with Uck?

Asher: No it doesn't.

Harper: Firetruck!

Luke: FUCK!

Luke: *running into the room* Harper just said they don’t love me anymore!

Ivy: What?!

Harper: *following them in* I did not say that. I just said that we are not driving all the way across the country just so you can punch Asher in the face.

*Ivy drunkenly wanders around the house and Harper is drunkenly giggling*

Luke, completely sober: *sighs* Well, looks like it's just me and you against the wold, Asher.

Asher, going to their room: Nope, just you. *shuts door*

*during a group project*

Asher: *does 99% of the work*

Luke: *has no idea what’s going on*

Ivy: *says they’re gonna help but does not*

Harper: *disappears at the very beginning and doesn’t show up again until the very end*

Harper: That's ridiculous, Luke doesn't have a crush on me.

Asher: Yes they do.

Ivy: Yes they do.

Luke: Yes I do.

Ivy: Made you all playlists!

Ivy: Asher, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul.

Ivy: Luke, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.

Ivy: And Harper has the ABBA Gold album.

Asher: *sees Luke and Harper together*

Asher: They're cute. I would put them on a boat.

Ivy: You mean... you ship them?

Here's Vera and Rune!

Vera: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response. Rune: Wow. They sound stupid. Vera: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense. Rune: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!” Vera: I guess you’re right. Hey Rune, I love you. Rune: See! Just say that! Vera: Holy fucking shit. Rune: If that flies over their head then, sorry Vera, but they're too dumb for you. Vera: Rune.

Rune: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness— Vera: Hi. Rune: melts down in a flustered heap of softness

Rune: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night? Vera: It was autocorrect. Rune: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."? Vera: Yes.

Vera: Are you really planning to shoot the demon? Rune: Don't worry, it's a holy gun. Vera: How so? Rune: It makes holes. (thank you quincy morris)

And the whole friend group!

Vera: wow you and Kai are home early from the movies. What happened? Rune: We got kicked out because Kai wouldn't stop yelling diving scores as people jumped off the titanic. Kai: That last guy had a solid 8, I'm telling you!

Vera: So how’s the food Rune made? Kai: It's great! Compliments to them. Vera: goes to the kitchen Vera: You're adorable. Rune: blushes

Vera: We all have our demons. Rune, grabbing Kai: This one’s mine!

Vera: Why did you guys dress up as each other for Halloween? Rune: Kai is the scariest thing I could think of! Kai: Rune told me I should pick the dumbest costume possible.

Kai: Ooh, somebody has a crush Rune: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on Vera I just think they’re cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about them. Later that night Rune, very much awake: Uh oh.

#thanks for the tag! #eli doesnt write sometimes #eli tags sometimes #tag game #incorrect quotes #wip ppp #superlosers #kai ppp #rune ppp #vera ppp #get a load of these losers #<- superlosers group tag

[sleetmonster]

i'm summarizing some thoughts i had over on discord here, bc maybe this would be an ok place to shout about this kinda stuff after all.

i don't like twitter. i still use it, a little, mostly to check up on art and on folks i don't often keep up with otherwise. and that's kind of the point, for me - what i want out of social media a sort of big group space where people gather to chat and make jokes and show art and share wisdom, and that's not how twitter is built. at its core, twitter is a machine that uses misery to milk you for ad revenue.

it's a website with the primary goal of making money, and as with anything that holds a similar goal, it should absolutely be judged based on that understanding. it's only ever going to masquerade as a social site, because what it actually wants is to keep you there, and keep you engaged so that you look at more ads. it's going to force "curated" timelines and it's going to drive you crazy with follower counts and view counts and likes and retweets. it's going to throw misinformation and hate-bait at you. i feel like doomscrolling is a symptom of this kind of social media, but that it could have been structured to avoid that sort of thing.

and i think there is something good about having social media. even without the pandemic forcing isolation on a lot of us, it's harder to really hang out and be social offline these days. stores and malls are all closing up, everything has a progressively higher price tag, there aren't a lot of community spaces. plus you've got folks like me - queer, trans, some mysterious flavor of neurodivergent, who is necessarily nervous around the general public by default. you don't know who is going to want to make a big scene because you're wearing a mask, or who is going to want to murder you because your appearance trips up their constantly scanning gender-role-o-meter. it's not like i can just find a community among my physical neighbors without having to build up a whole false persona to hide inside. so having a gathering place online, where people i am more likely to feel safe around can congregate, is a fantastic thing.

the problem is just that twitter ain't it. i don't think tumblr really is either. it too needs to make money, so it's going to do what it can to make money. and you've still got followers and notes and all these blog statistics which are just inherently unhealthy. it's a better place i think for artists, just because the things you post don't get Lost To The Timeline as easily, but tumblr feels less like a social forum and more like a bunch of people writing in journals where you can read others at your leisure and maybe write a comment in the margins before you leave.

the more i think about it, the more i realize i kind of miss web 1.0 forums. slower paced than discord maybe, but broadly accessible, organized, and thoroughly archived. it's funny to think how much we really got right in the earlier days of the internet, before the specter of capital started infesting its walls.

[incomingalbatross]

Types/uses of humor in fiction which are good and valuable and which also actually enhance drama (incomplete list)

Irrepressible humor. This is what I would call it when characters are consciously being funny for their own and/or their friends' benefit, and it's treated accordingly by the story. Friends making each other crack up. Someone getting distracted from the current plot by an opening for a joke, and distracting other characters in turn. Multiple characters doing a spontaneous bit. Humor that feels like it wasn't written for the audiences' benefit, the characters are just being funny in-universe.

I love this type of humor because it's human. It adds life and depth and realism to the story because humans do have a deeply ingrained instinct for humor! People who get along well are going to make each other laugh! Furthermore, it generally leads to characters saying/doing little things that are entertaining but don't further the plot, which makes their world feel less scripted and more expansive. I think it connects to what Miyazaki said somewhere about the value of empty space in storytelling--it grounds everything and gives it more room to breath.

Examples: The Dick Van Dyke show my beloved (helped by the fact that several characters are played by actors with stage comedy experience--they're used to engaging with live reactions). The Lord of the Rings, which is in fact full of characters being gently, naturally humorous. Also, I suspect this is a big part of why D&D streams and such are popular now--you're watching a group of funny people trying to amuse each other first and foremost, so you're not just laughing but also watching them laugh.

Punching-up humor. The closest to quip-style humor, but with a specific kind of substance--this is weaponized humor. This is characters looking up at something that seems bigger and stronger and scarier than themselves, and making a joke out of it for specific reasons: to remind their enemy it's not actually above them, to remind themselves of that, to rob it of some or all of its power over them. Sometimes it works completely, and the other is revealed to actually have no power over them. Sometimes it works partway. Sometimes it doesn't work at all, and that's terrifying, if done right.

I think failed imitations of this type of humor are where a lot of quip-overload writing comes from, but in itself it's valuable and impactful and, again, human. It's a human trying to hold on to their own identity and dignity in the face of something terrible, refusing to cede any superiority to the enemy they're facing. The key is that whatever they're punching up at has to actually be stronger than them, or at the very least seem so until that verbal attack goes home.

Examples: Buffy (again, the progenitor of a lot of empty quippiness, but in this it was very often a case of beleaguered teenagers trying to stand their ground under the weight of history and myth and overwhelming evil), Stargate SG-1 (also good at the first type, while we're discussing them).

Humor as a ray of light. This differs in the two above in that it often originates from the reality of the narrative instead of the characters. This is for moments when everything seems bleak and grim and serious, maybe even tragic, when you're in the middle of a dark scenario with no way out... and then something just absurd happens. And the revelatory comedy of the moment shatters the darkness and shows the characters and/or audience that no! the world wasn't as dark as it looked just now! This is real, that incredibly silly thing that just happened, and it reminds them of the good underlying the world.

I love this one. It's humor as eucatastrophe. It can be used to break tension, it can be used to end confrontations, it can kill a tragic hero's despair as he suddenly stops taking himself so seriously, it can give the audience a sense of renewed safety and deliverance. Like the first type reminds us that humor is part of being human, this type affirms that humor is part of reality itself. It's affirming joy is a part of reality, in its own way.

Examples: Mob Psycho 100 (ONE's really good at this), Gravity Falls (less in climactic moments, more as a continuing element of light that keeps viewers able to invest themselves in the dark parts).

#writing stuff #thinking about bad humor (excessive quips and mean-spirited humor and stuff that's clearly fitting into scripted beats) #but also thinking about how good humor is! and how important! and how much it does! #and came out with this

[cosmojjong]

alright, I gotta know. please explain to me all the ways cube has tried to ruin pentagon. I don't want to live ignorantly, thinking they're just another incompetent company (bc honestly find me a GOOD entertainment agency that treats all their artists fairly, protects them, promotes them regularly, loves them and feeds them 3 square meals a day. doesn't exist.)

you're very right, there's no company like that, and it's a shame even to this day.

and, well, let's see. i'm a bit tired so i'm going with things off the top of my head. i feel like the company has just... very blatantly threatened them different times behind the scenes. especially judging by some words the members have shared. it's always felt like they kind of made pentagon feel like THEY were lacking. like THEY needed to do something to prove themselves. it's sad because the boys have been trying so hard all these years but they can only do so much with such a shitty promotion. first instance i can think of is when the demo eps were released. it all felt rushed (they were released too close to each other) and it was such a pity because demo_01 was the ep that gave them their self-produced title. i don't even know what the company was trying to do, people barely had the time to digest those songs that we got another ep. so like

1) their almost non-existent or badly handed promotion. i swear they just don't seem to know how to cherish and properly promote such a gem group like pentagon. it's so bad.

2) i feel like, over time, the opportunities to show what they're capable of that they were given were just not the right ones. sure, we got some nice content but cube literally do nothing to highlight their entire vocal line. everything that the public could perceive was because of their stage presence. every new fan that got into them, it was thanks to the group. the success and the appreciation of songs, it was thanks to their authenticity while making music. i genuinely believe the group owns maybe 20% (and i'm being kind here) of their success to that agency. being so vocally based they don't have much singing content people can go through, except for magazineho and those hardly updated cover playlists. they could give changgu the space to do covers but do they? no. i think some time in the past he implied that he wanted to upload more songs but that he wasn't allowed to. to be honest i think the company also has favoritisms towards certain members, but it may be just me. and i don't like how they may be pitted against one another (see: pentagon maker) when they love each other so much.

3) shine. before it got released ptg were most likely told that the song had to do well, otherwise they would've been disbanded. hui said shine was a blessing, the reason why pentagon could survive. it got progressively worse with idle debuting (and it's funny how their fans say that ptg are cube's favorites *giggles in i want to be that delusional*)

4) when the summer 2018 mess happened, their fancafe was a mess. kpop fans were spamming the general board with anything and everything. the company knew it and still kept it open for a good 3 to 4+ months. i remember this because they suddenly changed the rules, locked this and that, and i got demoted as well. many of us got demoted for doing nothing. their disorganization never fails to amaze me. so, anyways, there is no way cube didn't know about the rumors that were being made up about them. hell, they even used hui as the scapegoat. shinwon, jinho and hongseok were heavily targeted and the company just did nothing. they were bullied into not leaving the dorms. no lawsuit, no notice, no protection. had a shit ton of schedules to attend and to deal with.

5) all the hiatuses they put yanan through. and for what? yanan could understandbly leave for health reasons but at times it's felt like they were just punishing the guy for doing so. one time it was a miscommunication between the labels, but keeping him away for months to years? like are we serious? there are people who have never seen him with pentagon, and people who got to see him with them after more than a year. the formation changes are so bad too. people are never gonna memorize who's who if the company decides to 'oh yea you go to japan for three months bye' or 'you're staying in china for a year and no one will get an official notice cause we don't care' approximately every two months.

6) rtk. what the hell was that. i hate when ptg have anything to do with mnet to begin with. they were put on this show that just sucked the life out of them, where mnet just used them for clickbait and very obviously rigged it although it was clear they should've won. jinho had to enlist in a hurry, hui was only months away from enlisting and spent sleepless nights arranging songs for like three different projects. they were completely out of it. shinwon even said that at some point hyunggu was so exhausted and mentally worn out that it was impossible for them to talk to him. they even said they were in and out of the hospital because of body pains. still, the company kept them going until the end, even through pain and tears.

7) shall i add bad budgeting. like seriously i'd like to speak to a nevie and understand why they think ptg gets their group's money. have they seen some of ptg's packaging and some of the props for their photoshoots or mvs? my thumbs up album is literally one step away from falling apart because the material is just not good.

please know i don't like talking of such things as i don't want to sound like i am victimizing them. ptg are fun, charismatic, bright, cheerful, full-of-love people. they never ever complain and that's what stings. i'm just so done with the bad things they've had to endure. the boys have always acted like it's sunshine and rainbows and we've all have tried hard to see the good things in everything. we do even nowadays, but there's still a dark side to it.

i'm sure there must have been other instances of ptg being told that they could be disbanded if said thing doesn't sell well (which btw is ridiculous because pentagon have been outselling themselves every comeback). shall i remember anything i'll say it later on, i think i talked a lot for now, i'm so sorry. all i can do is hope that 2023 is REALLY their breakthrough year because i cannot see them in pain anymore. it just doesn't feel fair and i want them to be happy.

#hope this does give you some insight #i got carried away it's been a bad day #riversonfire #pentagon

[wanderingnork]

Despite having absolutely delightful creatures and using practical effects, The Lair is landing a solid 5/10 for me. Creatures and effects can’t save this one. That’s largely because it suffers from one of the worst mixed-message cases I’ve seen in a while.

The whole cast, except one, are members of various militaries who have ended up stationed in a remote area of Afghanistan. That other one is Kabir, a local man who has, through bad luck and being at the wrong place at the wrong time, ended up joining a local group fighting the Americans. He doesn’t want to be there, so he’s willing to retreat when the monsters first appear. As a result, he’s the only one to survive that first attack. And he’s also the most interesting, compelling character in the whole damn movie.

Because he lives in the area, Kabir has a direct emotional connection to the plot. His father, who fought the Soviet Union when it invaded Afghanistan, was lost while hunting the alien monsters lurking in the titular Lair. People he knew were the ones attacked by the monsters and used by the Soviets in the experiments with the aliens. He has a reason to go into the Lair—to find out what’s happened and, if he can, to avenge his father.

It gives him a sense of groundedness that’s missing in the rest of the characters. Besides being generally flat and motive-less, more like cardboard cutouts than anything else, they’re narratively troubling. They’re all…vigilantes, destructive invaders just like the Soviets before them. Their reason to be here is to destroy (or control) the monsters. Even dressing things up in somewhat heroic trappings, the movie can’t hide that.

“They’re foreign creatures,” says one of the characters about the monsters. A second asks, “What do you mean, are they French?” It’s clearly a joke, but it doesn’t land as very funny in this context. Foreign is a word with multiple meanings here. Aliens from space, yes, but also aliens from Europe. From the perspective of the people living in this region, the soldiers aren’t all that different from the monsters.

Down in the Lair, the scope of the disaster that befell the people who live here becomes clear. Looking at the devastation, Kabir quietly reminds the soldiers—and the viewers—that the only real victims of all the violence are his people. Although the character is focused on the alien monsters at hand, the moment itself is a reminder of an issue of much larger scope, with much more awful real-world consequences.

Part of me thinks that the writers/producers/directors were aiming to show this message the whole time. Kabir is just too crisply written with too much nuance for this to be a mistake. But they really, I think, blew it. They got hung up on trying to make the Americans and Europeans openly heroic. It’s got the vibe of “a band of ragtag heroes,” but all of them are people who wear the uniforms of invading armies. That’s not terribly ragtag! And, when push came to shove, they still fell back on making “insurgents” into just another horde to be shot down by “the good guys.”

In the end, it didn’t work. Maybe it would have worked if I were several miles to the right on the political spectrum, and willing to pretend context doesn’t exist, but I’m not. I had no reason to root for anyone but Kabir, so the stakes felt really low. Any chance of tension caused by genuinely fearsome monsters was taken away, so I started to zone out. The raging inaccuracies in costumes and military protocol just made me grumpy. I was intensely uncomfortable with the racial stereotypes applied to the two black characters. (Seriously, I feel like there’s an issue with making crime an integral part of only those characters.) As the movie tried to have it both ways with its mixed message, it drained away my investment.

All in all, 5/10. Watch for the creatures if you’re really feeling passionate about practical effects and want to see some fun and gory ones. But don’t watch if you’re looking for just about anything else.

#nork rants #the horror tag #i mean. it is the guy who made the descent #so it makes sense that it fell apart 3/4 of the way through #and blundered around with no idea of what it wanted to say #i will never watch a neil marshall movie again #if i do feel free to hit me with a fish

[whentherewerebicycles]

just had our 3-hour end-of-semester luncheon and it was so so moving and good. they really bonded as a group and the vibe of that cohort is just so earnest and genuinely kind/sweet/humorous. it was a great collection of humans so we were really set up for success on that front, but i also just think that you can do so much as a teacher/mentor to set the tone... and i just love it when kids are ready and willing to buy into what you’re trying to build, and will work with you to create a really joyful, playful space. i just will always maintain that leftist/social justice-focused groups suffer when they think that tackling serious, depressing problems can only be done with grimness and a total lack of humor. the structural problems are so exhausting and the personal injustices people experience can be so dehumanizing that it is just so, so, so necessary to build community spaces that center joy, laughter, and playfulness. i really truly believe that those kinds of spaces can be profoundly re-humanizing for people, and that we are ALL better able to do difficult, sometimes depressing work when we know we have a joyful community behind us & a really solid home base we can return to in order to regroup, process, and find solace in shared laughter.

i have so so so many thoughts about this. like i think even in leftist spaces that seem more touchy-feeling on the surface or purport to be ‘holding space’ for people to process difficult emotions... i think the focus can still be so much on the individual in a way that ends up feeling very me, me, me, and does not actually build a real sense of community. it’s important to create spaces where people can share their experiences, but in my experience some groups or classes seem to see the “stand up and share your trauma while we sympathetically Listen and Honor your story” as the end-all be-all of community building... when actually i feel like that can reinforce stereotype threat and put people in this uncomfortable spot where they are expected to ‘lead’ with their traumatic experience or their marginalized identity, often in ways that overshadow the full, complex, multifaceted person that they are. it can be really isolating! idk for me at least i have zero interest in discussing my life story or unpacking shitty experiences with people i have no reason to trust, who i don’t consider part of my community! and i have just thought a lot (and experimented a lot) in my teaching career with trying to build spaces that look/feel different or that allow us to approach social justice work and individual experience-sharing in different ways. 

i feel like after several years of doing this job it’s become obvious to me that you get dramatically better results when you really focus first on building trust and warm, genuine relationships between people -- using laughter and playfulness to defuse tensions and gently subvert people’s expectations of what a Serious Social Justice Space has to look like. the goal for me is to create learning spaces where people are working together to tackle big problems... while also laughing together and telling funny stories about their pets and joking about what’s going on in our lives... while also practicing complex skills and learning to laugh at themselves in a silly, lighthearted when they mess up, and just in general getting really comfortable with acknowledging and showing the messiness and vulnerability of learning new things. if you really invest the time, energy, and care in building those kinds of spaces, then the big, serious, ‘the world can really hurt us, and has hurt many of us, and we want to know now how to build a better world’ conversations & work starts happening within this space where people know each other as human beings and care deeply about each other and are invested in each other’s thriving.

(little side tangent: i feel like as a white teacher who works almost exclusively with students who aren’t white, creating that kind of space can also help establish me as a trustworthy adult who sees them in their full, complex humanity and isn’t mentally boxing kids into categories or leaning heavily on assumptions about their lives or experiences... but that’s a subject for a different essay, lol, as it’s something i think about a lot. but that’s been a transformative shift for me too... and i think what i’ve learned is that there is a MASSIVE difference between a myopic ‘colorblindness’ (as in ‘i don’t see your race/ethnicity/linguistic background/gender identity or how it shapes your lived experience’) and an approach to cross-cultural mentoring that really emphasizes: ‘i want to know and understand you deeply as a person. your lived experiences and your connection to larger communities and your own perception of your identity are all hugely important to knowing and understanding you as a person. but we are not just our identity labels, and i do us both a disservice if i freeze up or get super self-conscious about race or act like we can’t connect as human beings/listen respectfully and lovingly to each other/find common ground/laugh together just because we haven’t had the exact same experiences.’)

i guess i am thinking about all of this because the vibe was so good today, but also because after i spoke they wanted to go around in a circle and talk about what the year had meant to them, and every single one of them said something along the lines of: i’ve never been in an academic space like this before; i didn’t know these spaces could exist here; i didn’t know that you could have a learning environment where it felt like every single person was rooting for me and helping me figure stuff out instead of competing with me or trying to show me up; i would come in feeling drained and overwhelmed and leave feeling energized and capable. WHICH I MEAN god what a teacher’s dream, truly, to have students feel that way about a learning experience, and to see them already spontaneously talking and thinking about the next projects they want to tackle.

the other thing i really loved hearing was that many of them said some version of: ‘you were firm but loving; you pushed me and held me accountable but i knew it was because you cared about me.’ i loved that because i think that was just like, my biggest goal for myself this year -- to get better at holding kids to high expectations and expecting them to work hard/take initiative, but also providing the loving support and structure all human beings need when they are learning how to do something new. i think i really succeeded there. also lol i think the biggest personal success was the student i had to have a Serious Talk with a few weeks ago turned to me at the end of the luncheon and said (this is a QUOTE, i wrote it down as soon as i left lol so i could remember it forever), ‘a lot of times when people try to hold me accountable i’m just like [rolls eyes], whatever, who cares. but with you i felt like you weren’t yelling at me. i felt like i let you down by not living up to what i’d promised to do, and i wanted to figure out how to do better next time.’ that was REALLY nice to hear because i feel like i’d spent some time since that conversation wondering if i’d even gotten through, or feeling like maybe i’d been too harsh/too direct and had damaged the relationship in some way. but it felt like the two of us got this really good moment of closure, and i feel like it was a good lived-experience confirmation for me of like, oh, actually, you can be really direct with kids about what is and isn’t okay and still be loving, and in fact that kind of compassionate directness and boundary-setting can actually be one form of showing love and strengthening an interpersonal relationship, not something that harms the relationship. so that was really good for me and i hope good for her, and i really appreciated that she took the initiative to approach me and say that to me.

anyway idk just: good experience. good year. really good kids. good confirmation that while i am still learning and figuring shit out, i think i am also doing a lot of things really right, and i feel like that’s reflected in the way that students talk to me & what they tell me about how i make them feel. i just think the most powerful factor shaping a teacher/student or mentor/mentee relationship is just this: does the younger person feel like they are seen, heard, and respected by the older person? because if there is respect and trust i think then you can get so much good work done together. and if there isn’t, you can’t. period. one of my kids said ‘i know you just spent a long time talking about the work that we did, and i’m proud of the work that we did, but i feel like our relationships with you were the foundation on which this whole thing is built.’ and THAT is just it, you know, like... that is what i am Trying To Do, is to build these relationships of deep mutual respect and real care, so that kids have a solid foundation or base from which to build and learn and do good work. and then i think if you can model those kinds of relationships and that kind of mutual respect it sends a really powerful message to kids about how we’re trying to be in this space, you know? how we’re going to treat each other. how we’re going to talk to and about each other. how we’re going to work to listen without leaping in to attack someone with our own point of view. if kids see the adult in the space engaging with people in this way (and if they feel for themselves how much more affirming/meaningful those kinds of relationships are) i think it energizes and encourages them to build those kinds of relationships with each other too. and then everybody benefits. blah blah just feeling really moved and happy about the work i get to do. my heart feels really full.

#teaching #mentoring #mw #to think further #year end reflections #end of semester reflections #i can't remember what my tag is for end of year posts lol #touchstones #how! i'm! trying! to! be!