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roo-bastmoon · 1 year

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Let's get into the Angel Pt 1 controversy

Summary of Roo's Point: Please follow your conscience but do not bash Jimin for other people's crimes.

More in-depth analysis of the underlying issues:

Let me start by saying I'm a musical theater geek so I have no idea who any of the other artists on the Angel Pt 1 track are, I don't know their music, I don't know their backstories, and frankly, I don't really care to. But yesterday a full kerfuffle kicked off on Twitter with many people ready to cancel Jimin (and by extension, ARMY) for working on a song with someone called Kodak Black.

Who is Kodak Black?

Well, apparently he's a rapper who brought a high schooler back to his hotel from a concert and then ripped her clothes off and bit her and raped her but he entered a plea deal and got probation for it. Not to be confused for the times he had illegal fire arms, committed armed robbery, possessed marijuana, and tried to evade police. Or the time he punched and kicked a woman at a strip club. By all accounts he sounds like a total asshole, and not someone whose pockets I want to line with my hard-earned money, even if I weren't a survivor, myself.

I think we can all agree that Kodak Black is not the kind of person ARMY would ever want to support.

So if at any point you feel like you cannot get behind the Fast X movie or soundtrack because Universal chose to employ that man? Please feel free to boycott and sleep easy at night. That's your value-based decision and I respect it. Don't let anyone call you an anti for it.

However.

There is another legitimate take on this with regard to Park Jimin, and it's a bit more nuanced than simply "don't work with bad people."

For a decade, we've gotten to know who Park Jimin is. He is kind. He is considerate. He is gentle. He has excellent manners. He gives to charity. He obeys and honors his parents and elder members. He has never been violent. He has never broken the law. He respects women deeply. He is a hard worker. He is a good human being.

I can't help but recall how Jimin had absolutely no idea that the song he made was going to be in Eternals. Like, he didn't believe it at first.

Clearly, this company has some serious issues with communication and the handling of Jimin's releases. I could say more but we don't have all day for that.

It is therefore plausible to me that Jimin was approached for this song, possibly by Jvke. Jimin has said he's seen all the movies so we know he likes the franchise. Maybe he said sure, he'd love to sing for Angel Pt 1. So he recorded his parts and moved on to the next amazing groundbreaking industry-shattering piece of work on his schedule. And then Universal brought in other artists and no one said a thing to him about it.

And you might think there's NO WAY Hollywood wouldn't tell you who all you're working with. Listen, I never worked on any big productions, but I lived in LA for years and worked in entertainment long enough to know you could make something and months later find out it's a whole other thing with people you've never heard of, and you signed off your work and likeness so it is what it is and you gotta live with it and not make waves, especially if you ever wanna work in that town again.

Then again, maybe Jimin met the rest of the artists during the filming of the music video. Maybe he knew Kodak Black was on this song. Maybe he, like me, had no idea of that man's past and never once imagined someone with a rap sheet that long would be in such a large-scale production in the first place.

Or maybe he did know, because it appears Kodak Black is billed as a "creator" of the song, but as an industry professional, he also knows nothing is ever totally clean or pure in this business. So oftentimes in entertainment, you will see people mentally separate the art from the business.

(Side note: To be honest, nothing is ever clean or pure that you pay to consume. The wage slaves sweating in the shops that make the clothes on your back or the device you're reading this post off of. The migrant workers toiling for pennies and living in communal shacks for the veggies in your salad. The animals crammed into horrific crates and slaughtered inhumanely that end up on your plate. The earth that's raped every time you write on a sheet of paper or put gas in your car. The plastics in all of our products are also in our landfills, our oceans, our blood streams. We all of us live and consume off the suffering of others. Doesn't mean we shouldn't fight for a better world--of course we should--I'm just saying, none of us consume anything that's "perfect" and cancel culture fails to acknowledge that.)

Which brings me back to the point about boycotting. If you feel like you just cannot support the business of employing someone like Kodak Black, that is a worthy choice and no one should bully you for it or label you an anti. But please do not consider Jimin "tainted by association." Because everyone is associated in one way or another with harmful people and practices. You'd never get to consume anything ever, if you could only consume things made by "good" people.

For my part, I don't believe Universal will see people refusing to stream or buy Angel Pt 1 and think "Gosh, we shouldn't have hired a man who batters and abuses women, it will hurt our bottom line on this soundtrack, we were very mistaken, let's do better." Maybe they will, but probably they won't. They have yet to even witness the buying power of ARMY anyway so they have no results to compare a boycott to. It's already a done deal and they will likely pull this shit again if it's expedient to do so.

On the other hand, this is Jimin's first OST for a major motion picture and I intend to support the hell out of it. I think it's a good song and I want Jimin to be seen by the industry as a safe bet to bring in numbers. I think the more projects he has, the more opportunities he has to promote good people and good music as alternatives. I say this AS A SURVIVOR OF SEXUAL ASSAULT who is no way making light of sexual assault. It frankly galls me that by association, Kodak Black (and numerous other unknown assholes) will benefit. But I'd rather that than, by association, Park Jimin suffer.

And I'll square with you: I think Justin Bieber, Charlie Puth, Park Jay, and others are opportunistic assholes problematic and it galls me that they will benefit by association with BTS members. But on a case by case basis, I will choose whether to support BTS members' collaborations. So far, I'm still all in. That's what feels right for me, according to MY conscience.

I cannot dictate to you what your conscience should tell you. That's between you and your soul, and it's no one else's business. Do your will and harm none. Trust yourself and honor your limits.

So if at any point you feel like you cannot support JK's Dreamers because of the horrible inhuman treatment of the World Cup stadium workers, abstain. If you cannot support Jimin with Angel Pt 1 because of Kodak Black's inexcusable violence, abstain.

But please do not lay the crimes of others at BTS' feet. They are responsible only for themselves, and we have seen they are sometimes not given complete information around their projects. I'm certain they do their best. When it's clear that a collaboration would go against their values (such as playing for their current president's inauguration), they decline. When they have the opportunity to make informed decisions, they usually decide well. But not always, because the members are human too.

I guess my point of this ramble is... human beings will be human. They are flawed. They inevitably make mistakes. Intention goes a long way. I can make a pretty clear-cut case that Kodak Black intentionally caused harm. So I'm happy to not support his art or business ventures and I hope after a lot of soul searching he becomes a better person but I'm not holding my breath. However, I cannot make a clear-cut case that Park Jimin endorses the harm Kodak Black caused just because he lent his voice to a song Kodak Black is also now a part of. Not yet, not without Park Jimin making a statement defending Kodak Black.

Until he does, I'm not going to hold Jimin responsible for anyone's choices except his own. I trust Jimin. He's earned it. So I'm going to support Jimin.

If you very strongly feel like I'm choosing to do harm here, that I'm anti-feminist, or a rape apologist, or a fan girl making light of serious crimes, please protect yourself and block me. You go ahead and do what you need to do to police your own experience. But I worry that eventually you are going to find yourself in a very lonely, very sparse and dull echo chamber, because that sad truth is... nothing and no one is pure. Certainly not in business, and rarely in art. Considering one out of four women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetimes, it's a safe bet that almost every song or movie you've heard of is somehow benefitting a man who was part of it and who has also abused a woman. I know k-pop idol culture heavily manufactures this PG13 image of artists but the truth is the world of entertainment is a cesspool and a viper pit, and we are very lucky to stan seven artists who are, by and large, truly good people. That's super rare.

My unsolicited advice is to take everything on a case-by-case basis and listen to your gut. Support Angel Pt 1. Don't support Angel Pt 1. It's a deeply personal choice what you endorse with your money.

But please miss me with trying to cancel Jimin, or any of the members, for other people's crimes.

Shunning, dogpiling, mobbing, shaming--cancelling people--those are Mean Girl tactics, designed to make people afraid to work with the "unworthy" and it doesn't work in the long run. (Extended, organized boycotts do work because money talks loud. So feel free to boycott if you want to.) But ruining people's reputations because of who their coworkers happen to be is in no way helping solve the actual problem.

If your goal is to make it so big studios don't employ rapists, keep the heat on the rapist and call out Universal and Kodak Black.

If your goal is to support Jimin, then trust and support Jimin and his songs.

Where those two goals conflict, trust your gut. That's all anyone can ask of you.

For my part, I choose Jimin.

Whatever choice you make--as long as you aren't bashing Jimin--I can respect it.

That's pretty much all I have to say about that. Feel free to disagree but keep it kind and respectful in the comments, please...

Love,

Roo

#jimin #park jimin #angel pt 1 #jikook

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phantasmagorianfantasy · 10 months

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Freak Next Door: Part 2

Read Part 1

Read Part 3

18+ Josh x OFC

Content Warnings: masturbation, voyeurism, oral sex (f and m), cheating/infidelity, maybe some light dom/sub elements

Author's Note

This is so self-indulgent. @grippingbeskar this stuff is just writing itself now.

I don't think this is going to be a redemption story. Mostly because I don't think Josh learned anything from what he did in Sharp Stick.

Comments welcome! I am a bit rusty, but damn if this isn't fun to write.

Josh slid down the wood hallways in his socks, head banging as Bon Jovi's 'Living on a Prayer' blasted from the entertainment system in the family room. He moved the Swiffer along the floor, bringing it up like a mic when the singing started.

"Oohh...halfway there..." he banged his head with the music. He loved the freedom of an open house. Kids were at school or daycare, Hannah was working, and he could finally take a load off without her breathing down his neck every second. He paused his one man show for a moment as he considered how this day started.

"You working today?" Hannah had intoned, her stare far away as she finished making Zachery's lunch for school. She snapped the blue Buzz Lightyear lunch box closed, looking at him pointedly. Josh had felt the implied "..and doing something fucking useful for this family" that blared in his mind at the end of her clipped question.

"Today I am going to clean and do some stuff around the house, but I am actually going to the Jennings' to help Henry on Thursday. He is getting up there in years..." Josh had stopped after that, seeing her scowl.

He looked away from her, thoughts cycling through his mind like a broken record, 'This whole situation wasn't his fucking fault, and if he could just...make her understand...'

"Where's his wife?"

He knew she had just been trying to fight; Marcy Jennings was 86, didn't have teeth, and spent most of her time at the golf range with her little Yorkie, Junior.

Josh slid open the glass door to the porch and pulled out the rolled jay that he had tucked into his sweat pants pocket. He sat on one of the benches and lit it before taking a long pull from it and holding it in his lungs. It was about 11am, and the neighborhood was quiet. All he could hear was the soft crackling of the slow burn of his love, mary jane. He looked out beyond his suburban house, his eyes closing as calm took over his mind as the late-June sun beat down on his face.

"Honey, you know I'm not like that anymore..." he had told her, running a hand through his bed tousled brown hair. "It's been years, baby, why would you say something like th.." Josh let out a frustrated sigh, his hand dropping down to his knee, defeated.

He had really tried. The past two years, he had sworn off everything, he'd been the dutiful husband, he did what he needed to do to make sure the kids were taken care of. But the marriage had been over long before all that, but here he was. A one-man concert smoking dope and swiffing floors.

"Um, hey! Josh, isn't it?" A sweet voice pulled him from his thoughts.

Josh froze. His brown eyes snapped open, and he felt a nervous jolt from his chest straight into his hips as a sweet female voice called out to him from next door. He gulped, his mouth suddenly dry, and not from the jay. Her.

"Oh...er...hey," Josh said, trying to hide the joint. He did not want Hannah to hear about this. Josh turned jerkily, his breath immediately catching in his throat.

He groaned inwardly. His eyes traced quickly over her near naked body - the apex of her thighs was covered with a strip of bright teal fabric, but her arms were crossed over her very naked chest. She had a large tan sunhat on, and her blond curls hung loosely around her face, making her look breathless in the sun. Josh felt a twinge as he remembered sweat glistening between her breasts as her head fell back in ecstasy.

"This is really embaressing, but I totally locked myself out here while getting some sun," she gestured towards the door with an elbow, still using her arms to cover herself.

Josh felt his brain short circuiting. He understood the words that she was saying, but none of it was computing. All he could think about was seeing her pink lips parted as she jerked her hips off the bed and into her own hand. How her other hand hand gravitated towards her breast, squeezing it wantonly.

"Um, yeah....give me a ..." Josh looked around, the joint still burning in his left hand. He put it into a potted plant and stood up stiffly. "What can I do to help? Do you need me to call someone?" he asked, turning himself slightly away to avoid staring at the curve of her hip, the way her grip on her arm pushed her breasts together.

"You know, Vince is real busy at work, and I'd rather not bother him with this. The front door should be unlocked, maybe you can..." she gave him a sheepish smile, and motioned towards the door.

Josh wondered for a moment if this was some sort of ploy. Hadn't they locked eyes? She saw him come, gasping at the look on her face as she slid her fingers in and out of herself lazily. She had fucking waved. But here she was, looking absolutely vulnerable and innocent.

"Yeah, yeah, of course. I can do that," Josh said finally. He jumped up and wiped his hands on his sweatpants. His palms were sweating.

Act normal. Act like nothing happened. Be cool, be cool. The words became a mantra. Josh felt that if he kept saying them again and again, they would become reality. He made his way back through his house, picking up his cell phone from the kitchen counter when he heard a notification. It was from Hannah. He felt the ebbing of a sense of conflict entering his mind.

Hannah: When are you getting a job? Like a real one?

He fumed for a moment, his feet planted in indecision as he tried to decide how to best deal with this. Should he text Hannah? He read the message again quietly. He flicked the screen off and threw the phone onto the couch before striding out of the house.

In no time, he was face to face with her through a pane of glass, again. That woman still had an embarrassed grin on her face when Josh unlocked the door. She twirled a curl in one of her fingers. As the door swung open, he bowed valiently, a joking performance of saving the day.

"Thanks so much Josh, I really appreciate this. Can you actually -not- tell Vance about this? He would never let me live this down," she laughed, sliding a hand across his chest as she passed him to get inside. Her fingertips left trails of fire, and it singed him almost painfully. She picked up a white coverup from the sofa closest to the door. His eyes were locked on her back as she turned away from him. She released the hold on her chest, threaded her arms through the shirt, and pulled it closed.

"Yeah, it can be our little secret," he laughed, his hand nervously tangling in his hair. He felt a pang at the words - he had made it sound so illicit. He could feel his skin heating up, and felt relieved when he heard her laughing too.

What the actual fuck are you doing right now? Get the hell outta dodge, his thoughts raced.

"Speaking of secrets," her voice tore him from the panic filling his lungs as he held his breath. "I noticed that jay you had out there. Is there any chance you have another that you might consider sharing?"

This was the moment. He needed to turn on his heel, wish her a nice day, and return to his Bon Jovi and...

"Oh yeah, I have another one with me," the words were out of his mouth before he could catch them. The jay was suddenly in his fingers, and she took it with a smile before setting it in between her plump lips. Back on the deck, Josh leaned towards her, lighting the end and watching her eyes roll back as she inhaled the smoke.

"Oh, that is fucking amazing," she groaned before slowly exhaling. Her voice was nothing more than a purr, and after another quick puff, she extended it back out to Josh, who took it gratefully.

Josh busied himself with the joint, holding the carboard filter a little too tightly. His eyes darted up to her as she sat down on her chaise, crossing one leg over the other. Her legs were smooth, and glistened from the sweat or sunscreen, or whatever covered her sun-kissed skin.

He choked on his next inhale, coughing as if it was his first time again. He extended the jay to her, and she took it with a grin.

"So, you spend a lot of time at home?" Josh said, trying to fill the silence with small talk so that his brain would stop giving her an ocular pat down. She exhaled and shook her head.

"Nah, I am usually teaching, but I needed a few days off to just...get my shit together, you know?" She was looking at him thoughtfully before blowing on the end of the joint to ash it.

"Oh wow...where do you teach?" He rubbed his hand on the back of his hot neck.

"Dale Creek. It's not far from here," she said, taking another puff.

"Shut up. Really? That's where Zachary is going once he hits high school. That's the plan, at least," he said quickly, glad to have found a way to remind himself that there were things he should be doing right now. The back of his neck prickled as he felt himself being pulled further and further into a dangerous situation. A situation that could be the final nail in the coffin that was his marriage.

"Tell me Josh," she started, her voice low as she leaned towards him. Her eyes were piercing, and he suddenly felt like he was the one naked and vulnerable in front of her. She was so confident, a smirk just ghosting the surface of her lips. "How did it feel to watch me from that window?"

Josh wanted to just slam his eyes closed to avoid looking like a deer in the headlights. But he had to look at her at some point.

"Wha, um, what do you...?" he couldn't formulate a response, not with her eyes suddenly moving up and down his body like they were. Josh ran a hand absentmindedly through his hair. He felt like he was under the microscope, and he tensed, scooting to add a little room between them.

"Oh, don't get all shy now, Josh dear," she was crawling after him, pulling on his arms and sliding herself onto his lap to face him. Her face was just inches away, and he swallowed as she lifted the jay to her mouth again. He sighed softly as she inhaled, looked straight into his eyes and moved her lips towards his.

Oh no. Oh fuck oh fuck. He couldn't, he shouldn't...

His lips parted as she ghosted hers just millimeters from his. He felt her exhale the smoke, and his breath quickened as he breathed her in. He was completely shocked, his eyes locked on her as she dragged her lips against his cheek and to his ear.

"I knew you had been watching. Such a filthy man watching a girl while she is most vulnerable. What would Zachary think? What would Hannah think," her voice was soft, but electric as her tounge dipped out from her lips and massaged the very tip of his ear. Josh clentched his hands at his sides, tightening and releasing in a desperate hope to calm the growing ache in his abdomen.

"Listen, I...think this is all a misunderstanding. My wife..." he whispered desperately, leaning back from her and bringing a hand up to push her away. But the look in her eyes stopped him. The hungry look in her eye wrapped a hand around his neck and just squeezed.

"Admit it, Josh. You fucking loved seeing me fuck myself. I could see you, pumping that beautiful cock for me. Did you cum a lot, thinking of how much you wanted me riding you?" Her lips were back on his ear as she pressed herself against him. He raised his hips slightly when she ground herself into him.

"I can't, my wife..." Josh whined as she shifted on his lap and stood up, releasing him from his caged position. She stood before him, arms on his shoulders.

"Yeah, baby? Your wife gonna take care of you when she gets home?" Her voice had a sing-song mockery about it as she traced the outline of his growing erection through his sweatpants.

"Oh...fuck...listen. I think you are fucking gorgeous, baby. But I really...I am trying..." he worried his lip with his teeth. She took his hands and placed them on her hips. She nudged his legs apart so she could stand in between them, looking down at him with a self-satisfied smile.

"You are trying to make up for the babysitter still, huh?" She grinned and played with a lock of his hair inbetween her fingers. "How's that going for you?"

He was enflamed by her comments, confused about how she knew anything about his life, and he felt his chest twitch as tears threatened in the corners of his eyes. He couldn't respond - things weren't getting better at home. Despite how he tried to make things right. The guilt was choking him out, but it was less immediate than the blood pooling in his groin until it was painful.

"Listen very carefully, Josh," she breathed in his ear, leaning into him and pressing herself against his hips. "I am going to walk inside and go to your favorite room. I am going to lay down on my satin sheets, and I am going to fuck myself until I come. It's up to you where you want to be when that happens."

And suddenly, she was gone, trailing into the house and leaving articles of clothing into the living room and up the stairs.

Josh wiped a hand across his mouth and adjusted his position. An image flashed through his mind of her fingers slipping in her mouth, of her legs tangled in sheets as she ground her hips.

He stood, charging into the house with the full intention of leaving right then and there. But he stopped at the stairs, his hand on the knob of the front door. And he heard it. A soft moan from upstairs. His hand dropped from the handle, moving to adjust the painful erection poking from his hips.

Josh knew what he should do. What a good man would do. But he also knew that if he did go home, he would be going straight back to the guest room to watch her cum all over her own fingers, unable to hear the breathy moans he currently heard. But his meager resistance was crumbling quickly, and his head felt thick with desire. His fingers twitched and then dropped from the door knob.

When he finally entered her room, he could smell her desire. It was a musk in the air that pulled him closer and closer. As promised, she was tangled in the sheets, her legs apart. Her eyes bored into him as he came in nervously. He was unable to look her in the eyes. His shy blush and downturned eyes made him look younger than he was.

"I want you to stand at the end of the bed Josh. Take off your sweatshirt." Her voice was breathy, but sharp, and Josh could only obey, his eyes fixed on her sex, open and inviting to him as she pulled the lips apart with one of her hands. There was a small cluster of hair at the apex of her thighs, and his mouth watered, thinking of how that scent would be with his face pressed into her curls, his nose bumping against her clit.

She hummed, satisfied by his obedience. She smiled at him sweetly, pressing a finger into herself. Josh could hear how wet she was already, and he felt his cock jolt painfully.

"Take it all off, Josh," she said breathlessly, adding a second finger. She curled her fingers, moaning as Josh slid the sweat pants down and stepped out of them.

She smirked at his nervousness, at the way his brows pushed together. Poor puppy, she thought. Josh didn't know what to do with his hands, so he let them fall to his erection, gripping his thickness with a hiss.

Her blue eyes were intense, smoldering. Josh felt like he was being burned alive under that gaze, but he also felt more wound up than he had been in a long time. He took a step forward, fully intending to close the gap between them. As his knees hit the bed, that damnable woman placed a foot on his chest, stopping him with a soft "Tsk, tsk."

"Baby, can I kiss you here?" He whispered, his fingers tracing down her leg, but not quite reaching where he needed.

"I don't think you have earned that," her lips curled into a dangerous smile. "No touching," she grinned as Josh dropped his hand to his side, confused. She pushed herself toward him, looking up at him with her doey eyes as she brushed her fingers against his hips. He could finally get a good look at her now. Her pink lips were parted, and her tongue flicked out from between them. There was a hunger in that innocent front she was putting up, and the effect on his cock was excrusiciating.

When he felt her lips wrap around the head of his cock, he groaned loudly and allowed his eyes to flutter closed. Her tongue was soft and teasing small circles. He gasped at the way it made his toes curl. The suction of her mouth increased as she lowered halfway down his shaft, the fingers of her right hand replacing the grip he had on the base of his manhood.

"Oh fuck...that's..." it was immaculate. It was engulfing. It was insanity. Her mouth was wet, and she was spreading spit all over his length as he gasped in her hands. His hips jerked forward, out of his control momentarily as a moan from her lips sent reverberations along his length. She pulled him from her mouth for a moment in order to lick a stripe from the base of his cock to the tip, flipping the tongue around the head again to elicit another pleading groan from his parted lips.

"Oh fuck...please, don't....don't stop," he pleaded, his whine earning what felt like a chuckle from the lips below. Her head dipped forward again slowly, inch by inch, until he was nestled fully into her mouth. He could feel the resistance in the back of her throat before it felt as if something was unstuck, and his cock slipped into her throat. He moaned again, his hips jutting forward. He felt her nose pressed up against him as he bottomed out, looking down at the baby blues looking back up at him with a playful gleam.

"Please, you're gonna make me..." The orgasm was building too quickly. It had been too long since he had felt anyone else touching him, and he couldn't stand it. He pulled himself from her lips and she released him with a small 'pop.'

"Mmm, you taste so good, Josh. How long has it been, huh? How long has it been since someone sucked you off?" He was gasping at her words, unable to formulate words as she wrapped her fingers around him. She used the spit glistening on his length to lubricate her hand as she moved it up and down his length. "It has to have been a while, with how worked up you are. Such a little slut, Josh," she said, punctating her words with thrusts of her hands and soft kisses.

"Please...I can't....I can't..." his knees were shaking as he thrust into her hand. He anchored a hand on her shoulder and felt like that was the only thing keeping him standing.

"You can't what? Use your words, slut," she grinned up at him and Josh was floored by the sharpness of her words. He was a fucking slut. His muscles were taut, and he placed his other hand on his lower stomach as it tightened. Her speed increased incrementally, and his knees buckled, forcing him to press them into the side of the bed as his hips bucked once, twice.

"You're going to make me cum," he moaned, pressing his nose into her golden curls as his hips moved erratically. And suddenly, all of her touch was gone. His eyes snapped open as he watched her mouth turn cruelly. She slowly leaned back, her knees pointed up as she spread herself before him. He looked down at his cock which bobbed slightly. Josh's entire body was screaming for her to finish what she started.

"What are you...please...don't..." his voice broke as he pleaded with her.

She laughed. She fucking laughed. He felt it jab his ego to be laughed at in this position. He gripped his own length, about to finish the job, but he was distracted by one of her hands reaching out to him.

"What about me? You gonna make me gasp and moan like that? Don't you want a taste?" Her murmurs soothed his prickled pride, and he looked down at her hungrily. He inhaled sharply, letting his fingers reach out and tease her opening. He could play this game.

Josh sank to his knees and grabbed her hips, sliding her towards him until her ass hung slightly off the bed. His lips danced just above her mound as he pressed soft kisses in the hair. She was looking down at him with wide eyes, and he felt a flutter in his stomach as his tongue snuck out for a delicate and probing lick on the bud of nerves begging for attention. Slowly, patiently, his lips closed around her clit and his eyes focused on her face as she tangled her fingers in his hair, pushing him down slightly into her sex.

She gasped as he worried her clit with his lips and tongue, unrelenting as he pulled out every trick in the book he had ever heard of. His tongue was sweeping figure-eights before taking the flatness of his tounge and licking a large strip from her center up to her clit. Her mouth shaped a small "o" as he sank his index finger into her. His tongue continued its assault, and he watched her face carefully as his tongue was joined by his middle finger, which lazily flicked her clit before sinking into her again. Josh gripped his cock with his other hand, feeling his vision absolutely blur as her lips parted. Small breathy moans escaped her lips. He bucked his hips into his hand, practically grinding himself against the side of the bed, as he prayed for some sort of release. She tasted so sweet on his tongue, and Josh could feel the inside of her fluttering as he continued massaging her.

The moment felt locked in time. His eyes were swimming, his thoughts jumbled and garbled in the presence of this golden woman who blushed softly as she ground into his mouth. His tongue lapped against her fervently as his jerks around his cock became more and more erratic. His hand squeezed the base of his cock, trying to hold off his orgasm a little longer, but his senses were turned up to 11, and every brush of her skin made him want to spiral out of control and fuck wildly.

"Baby, I'm gonna..." he gasped, feeling the familiar tightening. He flinched when he felt her hand slap against his collarbone and a set of nails bite into his skin roughly. His eyes snapped open, and she was staring back at him angrily.

"Not yet, you cock-sucker. You make me cum, you piece of shit," her hand dove into his hair and slammed his lips against her again. His nose was pressed into her harshly, and he could barely catch his breath as her cries became more insistant.

"Don't fucking stop..." she groaned, her hips shaking as he suctioned her clit and pulled on it hard with his lips. Her breathy moan turned into a scream as both of her hands curled into his hair. His fingers pressed inside her, pumping with a greater speed as he felt her insides flutter, and then tighten. Josh watched the orgasm take hold, she shook all over, and he kept his eyes fixed on her as she came apart. Her hips lifted themselves from the matress as she bucked, eyes clamped shut as she ground violently into his mouth. His hips mirrored hers, bucking forward against the satin sheets as he felt the tightening in himself as he reached the precipice. But damn, she looked gorgeous as she let waves of pleasure shake her again and again.

The achingly hot wettness against his mouth, her breathy moans, and the look of absolute release was what finally brought him over the edge. He grunted as he slammed his hips into the grip of his fingers. When he came, small electric lights danced behind his eyes, dazing him as he felt the orgasm shake his body. His hips pistoned erratically again and again and he moaned loudly as he felt his cum erupt from his cock. When his hips finally stilled, he chanced a look below, groaning as he saw his cum all over the sheets that hung over the side. His eyes flicked up to her and she smiled, flashing her teeth at him mischievously.

"Mmm, you do look good with me all over your face like that," she moaned, sticking her fingers into his mouth and then tasting them carefully.

He couldn't help the clenching of his chest as he realized what had just happened.

Fuckfuckfuckfuck

He tried to steady himself on his knees for a moment as he tried to get his bearings.

"I gotta...um...that was...god that was incredible," he said breathlessly, placing one last kiss on her center before standing up. He grasped his arm shyly, suddenly feeling very small in the middle of the master bedroom.

Guilt was thrumming through him, but the excitment and adrenaline was overpowering. Her tight body made him feel like steel, and he groaned inwardly as reality began to set in.

When Hannah came home, Josh stood from the couch and made his way to her, grabbing her bag and placing a kiss on her cheek. It felt fake to Josh, but she hummed without complaint and made her way inside. She was walking around, checking the rooms.

"It looks pretty good. Did you get around to changing the lightbulb in the shower?" Her voice still had a clip in it, but it wasn't as sharp as usual.

"Yeah baby, I got it all done. You can just relax, and take a load off. It's so good to have you home, baby," he murmured, coming up behind her and pressing a breathy kiss against her neck. She looked at him with a cocked eyebrow, unfamiliar with this man in front of her.

She looked intrigued, and Josh couldn't help his hips from pressing against her backside. But as his hands gripped her, his eyes fluttered closed and he saw a halo of golden curls framing the face of his neighbor. His hips were responding more to his thoughts than anything else, and he remembered that woman's parting words as she pressed a wet kiss to his neck and dragged her teeth across his chin.

"You'd better behave yourself. I'll see you real soon, Josh." She had paused before running her hand up his chest and grabbing his chin to bring them nose to nose. "Next time, I'm gonna make you beg for it."

#jon bernthal smut #sharp stick josh #jon bernthal fanfiction #sharp stick josh smut #reviews welcome

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leafsgarbage · 1 year

Text

leave before you love me | m.a.

A/N: It was hard to figure out how to go about this one

Synopsis: He doesn’t really want you to care for him and the little scars he hides so well

Genre: Band!AU, fluff, angst (duh)

Warnings: drug use, strip clubs, toxic relationship,

Pairings: leadsinger!Atsumu x f!reader, timeskip!Atsumu x f!reader.

Main Masterlist

preview,

“We’re going tomorrow night.” Mila says to you. She’s been raving about this band for the longest time. “Taro is opening for them!”

You pull up your head from the kitchen table, you got home 20 minutes ago from working at the club and your head hurts. She knows you love Taro which is why she used that against you. “Fine. I’m not working tomorrow anyway.”

She claps her hands together. “Maybe you could wear what you’re wearing now! Your bodysuit looks cute. Did they tip you for handing them drinks.”

You smile, remembering it was a busy Thursday. “Yea, a bachelor party came in, and although I think they’re absolute pigs, they do tip a shit ton.”

“Ugh, I wish, my shift starts at seven pm, and I finish at midnight so I’ll meet you at the club they’re performing at.” She looks at her watch and notices it’s about six am. “Agh, go to sleep ok, get some rest.”

“G’night.” You change out of your clothes, shower, and then you fall dead on your bed.

You hardly ever have dreams, but this time, you dreamt that you and Mila were somewhere better than a scruffy two bedroom apartment in the middle of Chicago. Despite the shitty apartment, you two had a wonderful view of the city, and that was about the nicest thing you had.

Working as a waitress definitely helped you be able to pay your rent and own a couple of nice things. You love the girls you met there, but you just aren’t sure if this is what you want to be doing forever. There was just never another option for you.

When you wake up its one in the afternoon. You have a long day before you have to meet up with Mila, so you clean the house, make breakfast, and get ready to head to the gym.

It’s about 5pm when you walk in and spot Kenma and Kuroo, your friends from the orphanage. “Hey!” You wave them down and Kuroo gives a big and bright smile while Kenma waves slightly. They own the gym chain after Kenma made a fortune doing what he loves and Kuroo was a good business partner. They’re like you and Mila, joint together. “I haven’t seen you guys around here in forever! What are you guys doing?”

“Monthly inspection at the gyms.” Kenma replies.

Kuroo spits and laughs. “There’s a band that this kid likes in town, so we decided to kill two birds with one stone.”

You think for a second. “Is it the Jaguars or something? Mila and I are going to that too, tonight.”

“It’s The Jackals,” Kenma corrects.

Kuroo points at Kenma then looks back at you. “Did you get reeled in because she said-”

“Taro was going to be there, yes I did.” You two laugh together. Kuroo introduced you to Taro, he’s very big and upcoming, but you assume The Jackals are too since so many people like them. “Do you guys wanna work out with me? Its leg day.”

The two of them cross their arms in an X and shake their heads. “Last time we did that, Kenma was bedridden, and my co-workers made fun of me, so no thank you Sweetie.”

You laugh and punch Kuroo’s shoulder, everyone at the orphanage called you a sweetheart, so Kuroo aptly nicknamed you Sweetie. “Alright you big babies, I’ll see you at the concert.” They wave goodbye and you get to work.

You pull up your workout playlist and decide to add some of The Jackals’s song that would fit your workout playlist. You add Hardest to Love, Starboy, When will I See You Again, and Gimme Love. The first song was upbeat and everything, but the message behind it was so sad. He’s singing how hard it must be to love him and he feels bad that the other person tries so hard and puts up a front to be with him. Obviously at the end, they eventually give up and he talks about how he knew this was going to happen.

Your heart clenches, but you continue to the next song. Starboy was even more upbeat that the last, but it was very accusatory. Like they were pointing a finger at someone and telling them ‘look what you did to me.’ You liked it.

When Will I See You Again was softer than the other two and it was sweet. Not as loud about their feelings as the other ones. It was just about holding someone close to them after them being away.

Then Gimme Love was about a relationship that was pretty doomed, but he can’t help but stay and try his best. He wants what they used to be, and even though it’s not good now, he can’t let go of them.

You listen to your regular playlist by Taro after you finish your squats and head to the leg press. You loved all his songs, but Psycho and Stay were your favorites, you just hoped he played them at his concert.

Once you finish up your workout its already 7pm. You head back home, eat dinner, and go shower again. You get ready in your concert clothes with your boots so your feet don’t die in the mosh. You also put on some makeup, jewelry, and perfume so you don’t smell too bad.

It’s 11pm once you finish and you rush out to get on the train. It’s about a 30-minute ride and you continue to listen to your Taro playlist, excited to see him so soon.

You get off on your stop and walk to the venue. It’s at an underground club in Chicago, they aren’t big artists yet, so the venues are smaller. You were there decently early, there were only about a handful of people so you grabbed a drink and sat at the bar.

You texted Mila to tell her were you were and she said she was leaving the club already. You texted Kuroo and he said they were driving and there was a crazy amount of traffic. So you just sat by yourself.

“Hey, can I get a blue moon.” The bartender cracks one open and hands it to him. “Thanks.”

You chuckle at the guy and he looks at you questioningly. “No orange?” You ask. Normally most people drink it with an orange.

He looks down at his drink and nods. “Didn’t feel like an orange kinda night.”

“I guess that’s fair.” You shrug and continue to sip on your drink.

“What about you, what are you drinking?”

You smile and nod your head. “Uh, sprite, ha.” The man chuckles.

He has a wonderful smile, you note, and his physique is quite impressive. “What are ya doin’ here so early? Big fan?”

“Um, my roommate told me to be here at midnight, so I like to be punctual.” You shrug

He nods in understanding and begins to take a seat next to you. “What’s yer name?”

You tell him. “You can just call me Sweetie. What about you?”

His eyes widen and you don’t know what you did wrong. “So, you came here, just for yer roommate, not cause you know the band that’s playin’ tonight?”

You shake your head. “I know Taro, and I just started listening to a few of the The Jackals’s songs today.”

He sets his beer down on the table and crosses his arms. “And which of their songs are yer favorite right now?”

You hum and think for a bit. “I think it’s Hardest to Love. I liked the openness of it. How he understands that he’s not easy to handle, but that he did love the person and he wishes he could have fixed it if only he knew how. I think it’s a pretty message and relatable. Shit happens, and you never know how to handle every situation.”

At the time you didn’t hear it, but he lets out a breath and then just smiles at you. “Wow, you really analyze songs a lot.”

You smile sheepishly and drink your soda. “I really like music, so I’m never opposed to listening to new artists.”

“That’s good to know.” He finishes the last of his beer and gets up. “I gotta run, but you enjoy the show.” You wave back about to ask for his name, but he’s already gone.

Not long after, Mila, Kuroo and Kenma show up. The four of you make your way to the front, and since you were there early, everything worked out. “Gahh I’m so excited Sweetie!”

“Me too! I’m so excited for Taro.” You and Kuroo fist bump and wait impatiently.

An MC comes out on stage to introduce. “How are all you gorgeous people doin’ tonight.” There’s a bunch of woo’s and yea’s coming from the crowd. “I won’t take up too much of your time, so first up we got Taro-” the crowd screams, you and Kuroo are among them. “Alright settle down, he’s performing four songs for you today. Then The Jackals will come in as your main set.”

Everyone claps and waits for the MC to finish. “Without further ado… make some noise for TARO!”

You and Kuroo are screeching, clapping your hands together. Taro comes out in some chains, a mesh shirt which has everyone going apeshit, sneakers, and a bucket hat. Everyone’s still screaming by the time he gets to the mic. “Alright, shut up you fucks.”

Everyone laughs and a few people scream ‘we love you Taro!’

He laughs into the mic and nods. “Yea I love you guys too. Now let’s get this going, what song are we thinking?”

Your mouth moves before you could even think. “PSYCHO!” You screech, but then get embarrassed after realizing how loud you were.

He laughs again, grabbing the mic off the stand and squats down in front of you. “Fitting, since you’re all a bunch of little psychos.” He rubs the top of your head with his hand and gets up. “Let’s get it.”

You die internally because holy shit, Taro touched you. You don’t have time to bask in it though because his number starts and you and Kuroo need to go crazy for it. He starts, “Yea my AP goin’ psycho…”

Taro’s numbers are to die for and everyone is having a great time. Before you know it, he’s on his last song of the night. “It’s been fun you guys, so let’s end it with Stay.”

You want to cry because that’s all you wanted. When he gets to the chorus, you and Kuroo yell, “but don’t count on me to stay!”

Taro finishes up and you’re sad to see him go. “Thank you Chicago! I’ll miss my hometown. We’ll see each other soon.” He winks at the crowd and you all cheer him off.

The MC comes back as the people behind him change up the set. “Alright, and our main set. Everyone, please welcome in The Jackals!” Mila is jumping and yelling while Kenma is just clapping, but he has this big smile on his face. You go to tie your shoes since someone stepped on your laces and undid them.

When The Jackals come up, the lead singer steps in front of the mic while the other three set up. “Hey everyone, if you don’t know,” you recognize the voice and you stand back up so quickly only to see the lead singer, the man you talked to at the bar looking down at you. “I’m Atsumu, the lead singer, that’s Shoyo on guitar, Kiyoomi on bass, and Kotaro on drums.” You stand unmoving, completely lost. How could you not know. “Now, I know we were gonna open with Starboy, but I’ve been convinced to start with Hardest to Love so enjoy this everyone.”

He smiles in your direction, and this does not go unnoticed by your roommate. “Sweetie, what in the hell happened.”

You stood there, still shocked. “All I did was make fun of his beer.”

Atsumu starts, “You try with me so many times…”

Regardless of anything, Atsumu had a wonderful voice that hit every note you could think of. High, low, whatever, he could do it. You didn’t know, but The Jackals knew he was showing off and just smirked to themselves.

Once he finishes he moves on. “Did you guys like that?” The crowd howls at him making him smile and chuckle. “We’ve got 8 more songs, let’s make this count, yea?” Everyone is excited and pumped up.

You try to enjoy the songs, but how can you when he’s looking at you so intensely. You decide to ignore it and have a fun time with your friends.

The last song comes up and it’s Cough Syrup, you haven’t listened to it so you decided to pay attention to the lyrics. It’s a great song, it helps slow down the fast tempo everyone was cheering at and is a great closing number. You make eye contact with Atsumu, a blush appears on your face but you refuse to look away.

Still, it doesn’t help that he’s looking at you with a grin on his face singing into the microphone. You can’t help it that he looks so incredibly attractive while doing it. It’s not your fault.

The music slows and Atsumu sings the last line, “One more spoon of cough syrup, now woah.” Everyone’s cheering and clapping while the band all gets on one knee and thanks everyone.

“Thank you Chicago, yer always my best crowd. Just tell Taro that yer all my hometown.” The crowd laughs and claps to the singer, he pushes his hair back with a hand, sweat prominent on his features. “Love ya.”

“We love you!” Everyone yells back at him. He smiles and waves goodbye, then everyone goes on their own way.

Atsumu is still there looking at you, he mouths to you ‘come backstage with your friends.’ You nod, unable to do anything else. “Hey guys, follow me.” They all do without question.

When you get to their room, there’s a man in front of the door. “You are?” He asks.

“Um, I’m y/n, Atsumu said to come back here.” He nods and opens the door for you. It’s all the band members sitting on the couch and Taro, except for Kiyoomi who’s in the shower.

“Sweetie! Hi.” He kisses the side of your cheek to welcome you and you’re taken aback, but don’t say anything of it. “Yer all her friends?”

Mila is frozen, her dreams coming true all at once. “Mila.” She says pointing to her self. The Jackals and Taro chuckle at her while Atsumu shakes Kuroo’s and Kenma’s hands.

“It’s nice to meet you all.” You say nodding your head in their direction.

Suna gets up and rubs your head. “You’re the psycho girl.”

“What?” Atsumu asks confused and your cheeks flush bright red.

“She asked me to play Psycho really loud. Good choice by the way.” You thank him for his music and Kuroo begins to engage in conversation with him.

Mila and Kenma somehow get talking to Shoyo and Kotaro in the meantime. “Cat got yer tongue?” Atsumu teases.

You roll your eyes, your previous nervousness fleeing, it’s just something about him. “Please, I was just feeling nervous.”

He chuckles at you. “Did ya like the show?”

“Yea, Taro was great, your voice broke a couple times though.” You tease back.

“What, there’s no way-” your laugh cuts him off and he pouts. “Not funny.”

You smile and pat his shoulder. “I think you did great, really. I liked all of the songs.” You’re staring at each other for too long and there’s just something there that you can’t deny.

He leans in to whisper in your ear, sending chills down your spine. “Would ya like to come over to my apartment?” You don’t want to get too attached to a singer, but you wouldn’t be opposed to it either. A night with him and maybe a little more doesn’t seem like a bad idea at all.

“Alright.” You smile.

Despite common stereotypes, Atsumu was a gentleman above all else. He made sure you were comfortable, gave your roommate his address in case she wanted to go check on you, and asked if you were alright all the time.

“If I wasn’t ok, I would’ve kicked you and ran away with your car.” He chuckles and continues to change the gear on his car. “What’s it’s name again.”

He revs the engine. “Aran.”

“Ohh, where’d you get that name from?” You ask.

Atsumu shifts in his seat a bit and comes to a stop at a red light. “My brother and I used to live in a pretty bad neighborhood, and Aran was our friend. He was older than us so he and another guy named Shin were like family to us along with Rintaro.” He sighs and puts the car into gear to drive. “Anyway, when we were 17 Aran joined the army to help support his family, but he ended up in a crossfire and passed away.”

There was a lump in your throat and you weren’t sure what to say. “I’m glad I got to meet one Aran then.”

You thought he was going to stare you down but he just laughed. “Me, too. He was awesome.”

“I didn’t really live in the greatest place either, lots of kids I knew went to join the army, but I never heard if they were ok.” You fiddle with your hands a bit.

He asks, “Where did you live?”

“I grew up in the orphanage not too far from the venue you were at. I met all my friends there. They kind of kick you out as soon as you’re 16.” You shrug.

“Damn.” Atsumu says. “What’ve you been doin’ since then.”

“Work to live?” The two of you chuckle. “I work at a strip club in the heart of Chicago, I’m a waitress. I can’t dance for shit.”

He laughs at you and you just smile. “That’s good, let me know where and I’ll visit ya sometime.”

“I’m honored that you would pay me such a visit.” You push his shoulder and the two of you laugh together in the car.

You’re about to go down a steep hill but stop at the top. “My apartment is just down there.” He points all the way at the bottom. “We’re gunning it down.”

“Atsumu no-”

“Atsumu yes.” He winks and before you can say anything, you’re rolling down the hill grabbing onto Atsumu’s arm for dear life, eyes locked on the downhill road. You’re yelling and Atsumu is just laughing at you before coming to a hard stop at his place. “We made it.”

You look at him, arms shaking. “I’m gonna kill you.”

He smiles and kisses your cheek. “Chin up, let’s go eat, I’m starvin’.” The small kiss takes you aback, but you hop out of the car and follow him. He holds out his hand and you take it. He leads you up the stairs and into his apartment. “Sorry it’s kinda a mess.” He scratches the back of his head.

There’s papers all over and instruments all over the place, even a picture of him and- “Did you photo shop that?” It was a picture of him and someone who looked just like him on a volleyball court with seven other people

He looks to the picture you point at and laughs. “No, that’s my brother, we’re twins.”

“I feel bad for your mom, you guys must’ve been a handful.” You smile.

Atsumu nods, placing pizza into the microwave, a small smile spreading on his face. “She was great though, never gave up on us.” He looks up and his face drops. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking-”

You hold up a hand and shake your head. “Don’t worry about it, I know you didn’t mean anything by it. Single parents are badass.”

He agrees. “D’ya know anything about yer ma?”

You shake your head. “No, I don’t even know if I want to, you know? It’s been so long, knowing who she is now would just make me so angry.”

The microwave dings and he goes to grab the pizza. “Follow me.” He leads you up yet another flight of stairs, but once you get to a door, the cool Chicago breeze welcomes you and you find yourselves on the attic.

You take in the beautiful view that surrounds you. The lights overwhelmingly yellow and orange, cars driving by, trains, busses, and the beautiful sky, that due to the pollution, only the moon was visible. There were a few stars here and there, ones that never quit. “This is everything. I can’t go back home now that I’ve seen this.”

“Then don’t.” Atsumu shrugs taking a bite of his pizza, offering you a slice. You decline.

You and him sit across from each other on these lawn chairs looking at the sky. When he finishes his slice you turn to him. “Why did you want me to come with you.”

“The truth?” He asks. You nod. “I was really just lookin’ for a nice night, but after talkin’ to ya, I think it’d be safe to say I’m glad I met ya.” Why is it that you’ve only just met and he causes your heart to flutter like this. This was cosmic, you felt it in your bones, and whether or not Atsumu wanted to admit it, he knew that too. Knew that you would be someone special, someone he wouldn’t let himself have, but he ignored all that. “Why did you accept?”

You shrug. “Random hookup didn’t seem like a bad idea. I got swept away by your rocker singer persona or whatever.” He smiles at you and grabs a hold of your hand. You don’t want to ask if he’s looking for a relationship, because you’re scared of the answer. You want him to keep holding your hand just as he is. “Why did you become a singer?”

“It was actually my second dream.” You sit up and turn to face him. “I wanted to become a pro-volleyball player, but our school wasn’t well equipped with training to even get past the first round in a tournament. I didn’t want to burden my ma.”

“For what it’s worth, I think, maybe in another life, you’re doing just that.” He chuckles and squeezes your hand. “Is your dad not in the picture?”

He shakes his head. “Nah. He took off after our fourth birthday. He was shit dad for the time he was there anyway, so I’d like to say we were better off without him.” Atsumu pulls out his phone and plays a song on it. You haven’t heard it before, but you recognize his voice through the speakers. “Dance with me?”

You get up and place your hand on his shoulder and the other in his hand while he wraps his other one securely around your waist. “Which one of your songs is this?”

“Slow Dancing in the Dark. Bokuto wrote it, his boyfriend and him were really goin’ through it at the time.” The two of you dance around the roof. He places you on the ledge and lets you jump onto him as he spins you in his arms.

You laugh and sway with him again. “You’re quite the charmer. You do this with a lot of girls?”

He shakes his head. “Nah, most of them don’t talk to me as much as you have.” He smiles.

“I like how open you are.” You blurt out, but it’s already out there. “I dunno, it just makes other people more comfortable to be real with you.”

“I never got anything from being a liar. I guess that’s just how I am. How do you get me to talk so much Sweetie? You haven’t talked much about yerself.”

“You haven’t asked.” You teased and he places you on his lap as you sit back down.

“What’s yer dream Sweetie?” He smiles and keeps you guys moving.

You hum and just wonder if maybe it was too deep to share, but he’s been so honest with you, you feel like you could tell him. “To have a family of my own. To never abandon them and make sure they know I love them with all my heart.”

“That’s a pretty dream.” You smile and rest your head on his shoulder, you two dance till the music stops.

You wake up the next morning next to Atsumu on his bed. Memories from the night hit you like a bus and you want to squeal. He was sweet all the way through. You try to gather your thoughts but it was all scrambled with the fact that you slept with the lead singer of a band. You gotta cross that off a list somewhere.

Atsumu moves and he wakes up, looking at you holding the sheets up to your chest. “Mornin’.” He greets and you mutter a small hi as you shrink into the bed. “Ah, don’t be shy now. I’m gonna go make breakfast.”

You pull a shirt of his and some boxers out to wear and you make your way to the kitchen. He sees you come in and smiles while turning his head to the side. “I hope you don’t mind.” You refer to the stolen clothes.

He waves you off and continues to cook up some wonderful breakfast. “How d’ya like yer eggs?”

“Scrambled please.” He smiles cooking that right up. “How’d you become such a great cook.”

“My brother owns a restaurant.”

You nod. “Yea, I think he’d be disappointed if you didn’t know how to cook.” The two of you chuckle together and he places the egg on your plate.

“Any plans today?”

You think for a moment before groaning. “Yea, Mila and I work from 6pm to 1am today.”

Atsumu perks his head up and smiles. “I’ll bring the guys then, visit you on the job.”

You laugh and agree. “Ok, I’ll see you there then.”

The two of you eat breakfast together before he drops you off at your house, still in his clothes. “See ya later tonight.” He winks, and all you can do is smile and wave as he drives off. Before you can turn back around, Mila pulls you inside and up the stairs.

She sits you down on the couch and stares at you. “Alright, explain.”

“Well, he was really nice, we danced, talked and… well you know, then he made me breakfast and drove me back here, oh and he’s coming to our job later with his friends.” You tell.

Her mouth is stuck wide open, unable to move. “Oh my- how do you do that. Well now I’m nervous to go to work. I think he likes you y/n.”

“I don’t think that’s what he’s looking for Mila.” You get up and head to your room.

She laughs and shakes her head. “Well someone better tell him you don’t dance and be all sweet to your friends with benefits.”

“I don’t think that’s exactly what this is either.” You say.

“Well then it’s a big fat fucking ‘it’s complicated’.” She throws her hands up mumbling to herself about what to wear.

You’d hate to admit it, but you think that’s exactly what this is.

Nevertheless you got ready for your day with Mila. It wasn’t too crowded yet, and you would be lying if you said you weren’t antsy for Atsumu and the rest of them to show up. Mila picked up on it really quick.

“You’re gonna burn a hole in the door looking at it like that.” She quips

Your shoulders sag a little. “Am I that obvious?” You ask her.

“Only to me, Sweetie.” She pinches your cheeks before carrying her tray to her table.

Somewhere during your conversation a new table was sat, and when you went to wait on them you locked eyes with a familiar blonde. Your whole body relaxed, and Atsumu turned to you, a warmth spread throughout his body. Whatever was happening between the two of you was happening fast, and even though Atsumu knew he couldn’t give you more, he was selfish and wanted to have you if not just for another day.

He smiles charmingly at you when you get to the table. “Hello boys.”

“Hi Sweetie,” they all wave to you: Kotaro, Shoyo, and Kiyoomi. Atsumu grabs your hand and kisses it looking up at you. He was taking in the lovely corset you had on with the fishnets.

You blushed deeply, but it was hidden by the bright and colorful lights in the club. “What can I do for you boys?” They give you their orders which you take diligently to the bar.

“See, they got here.” Mila snickers and waves at them from behind the bar. “Let me help you with the drinks.”

The two of you finish them quickly and walk over to drop them on the table. Before you’re able to say anything you feel a quick slap on your ass. Your whole body freezes up and you turn to see a very drunk customer. “No touching,” you seethe.

Mila turns as well, standing next to you as help. “Mmm no, I don’t think that’s what you should say.” The guy walks right up to you and grabs your arm. Immediately another arm shoots out to grab his.

“Hey,” Atsumu says cooly grinning with mal intent. “Why don’t you let go of her arm yea?”

The guy is displeased and raises an arm to which Atsumu’s friends respond quickly by getting up, but he was stopped by Earl, one of the security workers. “Are you alright Sweetie and Mila?”

Mila nods. “Yea this guy needs to go, he’s touching.” She huffs and Earl nods.

“Don’t worry he’ll be gone soon.” Earl disappears with the man out the door and you let out a breath.

“Are you okay?” Atsumu asks, his jaw tight.

You nod breathing in. “Yea, it comes with the job. Earl and Riley are really good at kicking them out if need be.” You smile. “Sit down and relax, don’t worry too much about me.”

“Well that’s not possible.” Atsumu murmurs, but you are already halfway back to the bar with Mila.

“You’re sick Atsumu.” Shoyo says.

Atsumu turns to his bandmate with a wary look. “Huh?”

Kotaro nods in agreement with the guitarist. “You got it bad Atsumu.”

“She’s good. Really good.” Shoyo adds again.

He ignores them and changes the subject. Kiyoomi and the rest of them understand he’s deflecting because he likes you too, but he can’t be with you. He won’t let himself be with you, and that’s exactly what they want him to see, that he can.

Regardless of his distaste for their probing, Atsumu gets his notepad out and scribbles down some lyrics. “You really brought that with you?” Kiyoomi asks pointedly.

Atsumu rolls his eyes at his friend. “I bring it everywhere. I don’t know why you’re surprised. The boys begin conversing about their next upcoming show but Atsumu is watching you. He watches you laugh with Mila and charm the customers that come up to you.

He hasn’t felt this sense of comfort in a long time, but watching you is inspiring in itself. He nudges Bokuto to get his attention. “What’s up?”

“Can you help me with this? I think it’s good.” He refers back to the notepad where he has the title of the song written.

Bokuto hums looking over the lyrics. “Locked Out of Heaven? Sounds good.” He doesn’t comment and how he talks so vividly about you. Even though he hasn’t said it, Bokuto knows. “Instead of cause you got me feelin like to cause you make me feel like, good?”

The two of them fix up some of the wording in the song meanwhile Shoyo called over one of the girls to dance for Kiyoomi. Kiyoomi is glaring at Hinata, but doesn’t shoo the girl away, he’s a gentlemen of course.

Eventually your shifts are up and you come back out wearing some sweats and a hoodie. “All done.” You smile.

Atsumu looks at you with wonder as he takes in your clothes. “No corset? I think I like a girl in uniform.”

“I’m off the clock, mister.” You say teasingly before walking ahead of him and the others following. “What do you want to do?”

He hums stepping closer to you. “Do you like Just Dance?”

Over the course of the next month or so you and Atsumu grew much closer and he released Locked Out of Heaven. While you had a sneaking suspicion it was about you, you never said anything.

You, Mila, Kuroo, and Kenma still attended all of their concerts and the crowds kept getting bigger with each passing show. Atsumu lit up the stage, he was a performer, a great one and he captured everyone’s attention. You really couldn’t help but look at him with stars in your eyes every time.

However, you were getting tired of not understanding where the two of you stood. It frightened you how much you liked Atsumu, how much you could envision him in your future. It scared you not knowing if he thought of you like you thought of him.

That’s why you were standing outside his apartment and knocking on the door. He answered quickly and leaned on the door frame. “Hi Sweetie,” he kissed your cheek letting you in. “This is a nice surprise.”

When he closes the door you mumble a hello, but your nerves are at an all time high. He notices something is up and asks, but he already doesn’t like this feeling. To him, the point of not being in a relationship was to not feel this way. Like he was close to fighting with you and losing. “I just... I have a question.” You say looking up at him. “What am I... to you? Do you think about me?”

“I think about you a lot.” He admits, whether he wanted to or not. “What’s going on?”

“It’s just that I think about you all the time. I want you, all the time. More so, I just want to know that you’re with me, that you want me the same way I want you.” Atsumu recoils back from your admission like you shot him.

He shakes his head. “I’m confused.”

You throw your hands up a little frustrated. “I want you Atsumu. In every single way possible. I want your clothes at my apartment, I want to keep an extra toothbrush here. I want to go on dates with just you and me not in the house, I just want to hold your hand and I want to be together... officially together. I love-” You can barely get it out, but when you look at Atsumu’s face the words die on your lips. “What?”

“No.” He says sternly. “I never- when did you ever get the idea that that’s what this was?”

Your chest hurts in the worst possible way. This is not the way you expected this to turn out. “You can’t look at me the way you do and not expect me to think you love me too.”

Atsumu runs a hand through his hair and looks equally as upset as you are right now. “No you’re completely off the mark. This- this is not what that is. You need to get your delusions in check.”

You scoff getting angrier as the seconds pass. “It’s not delusions when even your friends say the same thing.”

His head shoots up at you. “What the fuck did they say to make you think that?”

“That they’ve never seen you happier, that you seem lighter and like you’re finally able to let someone love you instead of thinking you can’t.” You spit out at him.

“Well they fucking lied to you.” He grits.

You shake your head. “You’re insane Atsumu. I know you love me too. Why is it such a fucking problem for you to admit that?”

“Because it’s not fucking true, Sweetie. I don’t know how you deluded yourself into that-”

“Don’t call me fucking crazy, I’m not fucking crazy.” You stand up from the couch and walk over to him. “You can’t touch me the way you do and look at me like you do and say you don’t care about me. I won’t let you lie straight to my fucking face.”

“I don’t want a relationship, I don’t want this. I don’t want the expectations that come with this.”

It grabs your attention as you laugh humorlessly. “Yea Atsumu, I expect you to love me fucking back, that’s so much to ask for though with you isn’t it.”

He buries his hands in his hair ruffling it. “This is exactly what I’m talkin’ about! I don’t want this fighting, we’re not even together, shit. We’re not together!”

“I think I understand that very well. Why won’t you let me love you Tsum?” You whisper.

“Because I don’t fucking want it, I don’t want you, I don’t want an us, I’ve made myself pretty fucking clear.”

“Loud and clear. Especially when I’ve just admitted that I love you and you throw shit in my face.” You retort.

He sighs, “Shut up Sweetie, please.”

“The day I do is the day I stop caring about you, Atsumu.” He’s frustrated because he doesn’t know how to explain this to you and he doesn’t want to.

“Just go. Just fucking leave.”

“I’m not leaving this goddamn apartment until you tell me you don’t love me!” You say, tired and desperate. “Do you love me Atsumu?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t wantcha to love me.”

You recoil and cross your arms. “But do you love me, please? I don't think that’s much to ask.”

He doesn’t have it in him to say it, but he cannot stand you to be here a second longer. “News flash, Sweetie. It’s not that hard to not fall in love with you. You should have learned that by now.” He went real low, even knows it from the way your face falls and you lose the fight you had in you. His chest tightens from the look you give him. “The door is right fuckin’ there. I didn’t think you were so dense, fuck!”

“Don’t fucking talk to me like that!” You yell back. “All I wanted Atsumu-” you choke on a sob. “All I really wanted, was to know that someone fucking loved me for once.” You say as a whisper. “And that-” you sniffle, wiping your tears, “that you knew loving you isn’t a chore, it was a goddamn fairy tale. Even now. Even as you push me away and tell me you hate me, I still love you.” You leave, deciding that Atsumu isn’t hard to love at all, but he makes it hard to stay.

When the door shuts and he can no longer hear your footsteps, Atsumu throws the remote control at his wall. “Fuck!”

You don’t hear from him since then, and Mila had her work cut out for her. Knowing that the singer from her favorite band did this to her best friend is something she wouldn’t stand for.

She blocked all of their numbers from both of your phones. Even though the other boys didn’t do anything she had to be extra sure he had no way of contacting you. Kuroo and Kenma were let in on the whole thing too.

As you nursed your broken heart Mila held onto you as you tried to explain what he said, and that really solidified her hatred for the man. “That is not true Sweetie. I’ll love you till the day I die.” She kissed the top of your head as you cried yourself to sleep.

Kuroo and Kenma visited too and she let them in on what happened. “Why would he-”

“I have no idea. I think he just wanted to hurt her, because I don’t believe for one second that he wasn’t in love with her.” The three of them nod in agreement as they witnessed Atsumu with you first hand. “He’s just a fucking idiot.”

“You’re a fucking idiot.” Kiyoomi chimes in after listening to Atsumu’s rant about what happened with you weeks ago. They all asked where you had went, and with enough probing they got it out of him.

Atsumu looks shocked. “She’s delusional.”

Bokuto shakes his head. “She would be if she wasn’t right. She’s right, Atsumu and in your heart of hearts I know you know that. I know you know that you’re also in love with her.”

The singer groans. “Not you guys too.”

“I think you’re just in denial because then you would have to face the fact that you treated her disgustingly awful.” Kiyoomi says. “For some unknowing reason she fell in love with you. I think this is where your luck runs out Atsumu, because you’re never going to meet someone like that again.”

All of them are shocked at how much Kiyoomi was saying all at once. He normally was quiet, but you and the bassist developed a nice friendship, which was saying a lot for Sakusa.

“He’s not wrong Atsumu.” Hinata breaks the silence. “The quicker you realize that, then the faster you can beg for her forgiveness, because I don’t think you’ll get her back with anything less.”

The boys get up to set up their instruments leaving Atsumu in their dressing room to wonder how he got here in the first place. He felt so many things all at once and he turned to his notepad, because he couldn’t express himself in any other way.

He performed with group and charismatic as he may be, they noticed how off he was. At one point during the show he slipped up the lyrics to one of the songs. “Shit...” he laughs it off. “Maybe I’m just a little fucked up guys I’m sorry.” The crowd cheers him on regardless, but he finds himself looking for your face. A glimpse of it somewhere, and the disappointment burns him in a way he has never experienced.

Once the set finishes he goes back to his notepad, ignoring the stares his friends give him. He looks at Bokuto with a knowing look. The drummer sits down and pats his back. “What do you need help with?”

The two of them get to writing together, although it was mostly Atsumu’s words Bokuto helped clean it up. Atsumu was always good at understanding his emotions when they were on a piece of paper, but how could he go after what he really wanted. Every relationship he ever had crashed and burned, just like yours did and it didn’t even have a label on it.

But that was his mistake.

You were never just going to be another girl to him. He loved you more than he cared to admit. So much that it ached. So much that he couldn’t bear how fast his heart beat around you and he had to burn you too. He was most definitely the problem.

You just wanted an unconditional love, and he did love you, but could he love you the way you deserved? Was it fair that he decided these things for you? Probably not.

He wasn’t sure how he was going to get you to meet with him. After what he said he wouldn’t want to either, but he picked up his phone and tried to call. “The number you’re trying to reach...” Yea. He should’ve expected that one.

He tried Mila’s and the same thing happened. The same thing would happen with your other friends’ numbers. “Shit.” He clicks his tongue but then turns his attention to Kiyoomi. “Hey, Omi-”

“Don’t even try.” He said tuning his bass not even looking up. “She’s blocked all of us, all of them did. Not that I really blame her.”

Atsumu nods, but decides this is just a little bump in the road. He needs to plan everything anyway, it would be silly to ask for you back without one. He needed to plan.

Over the next few days he booked a venue, the same one you met at. He donated what he could to the orphanage you grew up in. In the hopes that the children live a little better than you did. He doesn’t really plan on telling you that one.

It was difficult for him, the band was in the middle of a life changing contract, but his priorities were set for the first time in his life. He pleads his bandmates to help him, and they accept because you deserve to have a choice on whether or not you get to be with the person you love.

He goes to the strip that you work out and hopes to run into you, but he’s met with Mila, a more formidable opponent. She looks up with a smile to greet the new customer, but when she sees him her face drops. “You’ve got about ten seconds to get out before I ask Riley to do it.”

“I just need two minutes.” He asks.

“You don’t deserve any.” She cleans the glasses in front of her not looking at it. “I mean it.”

Atsumu nods. “I know. I know I don’t, but listen to me and if you don’t want to after that then I’ll leave.”

She looks skeptical but relents. You deserve the choice to be with him or not. Not that she believes he deserves it. “Two minutes. Starting now.”

“I didn’t mean it.” He says sheepishly. “Any of it and if I could take it back I would. I-” He huffs out a breath, wishing he could talk to you. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt the way I did with her, and I know that she deserved more than I could offer, but I do want her.” His fists clench trying to get out the right words. “I want her more than I have wanted anything, and it scared me and I fucked up I know, but I- well... I love her. Whether I deserve to or not I do. And by some miracle she loves me too... or did.”

Atsumu shakes his head to get back on track, Mila’s full attention is on him as he slips her a flyer and four tickets. “If you could get her to come to this show... I’d owe you everything, regardless of what happens I just don’t want to lie to her anymore.”

Mila peaks at it and watches him leave as he doesn’t wait for her answer. “Fuck.” She mutters. “I hate being a good fucking person.” She snatches the tickets and puts them in her bag.

When she gets home you’re cleaning the house again, something you’ve been doing to keep your mind busy. Mila sets down the take out as she comes to sit on the couch.

“Sweetie guess what.” You pick your head up to look at her. “Taro is coming to town again.”

Your shoulders slump a little and you shrug. “I don’t know, I don’t really want to go.”

“Pleaseeeeee.” She whines. “Kuroo bought us all tickets, he’s the main event. Some randos are opening for him it’ll be fun I promise.” You don’t really know how fun it would be to go back to the place that reminds you of him entirely.

“I’m just not sure it would be good for me.” You say lowly.

Her heart breaks for you, but she is hard to deter. “I promise just this once, if you don’t like being there within the first hour we can go home. Promise.”

In the end, you end up agreeing and Mila fills the boys in on the plan. When Friday hits you all get ready at your apartment Kuroo and Kenma waiting with anticipation.

“You look great Sweetie.” Kuroo coos teasingly and your face heats up.

“I will kill you.” You joke.

Kenma looks up questioningly. “Doubtful.” It earns a small laugh from you which brings a smile to his face.

The four of you make your way to the venue and when you recognize the building of your old home you twitch in discomfort. You don’t voice it though, agreeing to stick it out the hour. Mila is in front and hands the bouncer your tickets while you walk ahead.

It is decently packed, but you wonder why he chose a small venue again with the publicity he has gotten over the month.

“I’m sorry Sweetie, but I’m also not sorry.” Mila smiles, and before you can ask her what she means the lights turn off and you can’t see. Your heart rate picks up, but it slows when the lights of the stage turn on, but the calm is short lived when you see him and the rest of the band on the stage.

“Hi everyone.” Atsumu waves and tries to find you in the crowd. “Now, I’ve recently written a new song yea? It’s the last one of the night.” The crowd howls with excitement and Atsumu loves the thrill it gives him, but he’s still just looking for you, he made sure you would get here for the last one. “My brothers obviously helped me produce it. It explains what words couldn’t, and I wish I was better at expressin’ myself than I actually am. I’m pretty shit at it.” He chuckles into the mic, his voice sending a chill down your spine when his eyes meet yours. “This is Leave Before You Love Me, everyone.”

Your heart is beating so fast that you barely paid attention to the first verse, but the chorus hits you like a truck and reminds you of your first meetings with Atsumu.

'Cause my wheels are rolling Ain't taking my foot off the gas And it only took the one night To see the end of the line Staring deep in your eyes, eyes

You remember when he sent it down the hill near his apartment. How you held onto him and regardless of how nervous you were you felt safe as long as he was there.

Dancing on the edge, 'bout to take it too far It's messing with my head, how I mess with your heart If you wake up in your bed, alone in the dark I'm sorry, gotta leave before you love me

The rest of the song plays out and you wrap your arms around yourself for some sense of comfort. Your friends notice it and huddle around you to try to ease the listen.

When the final chorus plays theres cheers all around you, and you can’t seem to move from your spot even as Atsumu smiles at you and gestures for you. Mila grabs your hand and you turn to her. “If you want we can leave right now and never come back.”

You shake your head. “No... I want- I want to know what he has to say.”

She nods and leads you to the back. The rest of the band greets you while you can barely mutter a hello. They all leave you with him, Mila squeezes your hand before she also heads out.

Atsumu had a whole bunch he wanted to say, but he wasn’t so sure any of it did justice to you. He slowly walks up to you and places his hands gently on your face to have you look at him. “I’m sorry, Sweetie. I’m so sorry.”

“You were so mean.” You whisper.

He nods. “I know. I didn’t mean it. Any of it. I know that doesn’t make it better, but that’s the truth.” He sighs as he runs a hand through your hair. “I just thought I shouldn’t lie to you anymore. I want you. More than I ever that I could and that was so fucking scary. But you didn’t deserve that at all. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I wasn’t so terrible all the time-”

You shake your head. “You’re not terrible Atsumu, just delusional, to think that you don’t care about me.”

“I love you.” Your throat closes up and you’re not sure what to say after that. “I think I’ve loved you from the moment I’ve met you. You’re everything, Sweetie. Everything I don’t deserve and everything I shouldn’t have.” He places his forehead against yours. “But it wasn’t fair of me to not give you a choice, because you should have one and I took that from you.”

“I’m always going to choose you, Atsumu.” Fresh tears make their way to your eyes as you take in a shaky breath. “But everything isn’t going to magically be better just because you’ve realized this. What if we get into a disagreement and you blow up on me. I can’t survive it again.”

He nods understanding your concern. “I’ve been going to therapy.” Your head shoots up almost knocking his nose. “I know, long overdue. It’s easy to tell myself you should be with someone better, but I want to try to be that for you. To be someone deserving of your kindness,” he kisses your cheek. “Deserving of your love. Although I don’t think I ever will, I want to get as close as I can.”

You laugh at his statement. “You were always enough for me, Atsumu, but I’m glad you’re getting help.” You take a deep breath before going on. “It’s not always going to be easy.”

“I know.”

“I might get frustrated with you.”

“I know.”

“You might get frustrated with me.”

“I know.”

“But I think as long as we’re honest and truly love each other...” You trail off. “I think we could make it.”

“I’ll always pick you. There is no other choice for me.”

You smile brushing your lips against his, feeling relaxed in his hold. “We go slow this time.”

“Whatever you want. We’ll do. I just want to be able to hold you.”

“It was a great song.” You add.

He nods kissing your forehead. “It was about a great person. That and Locked Out of Heaven.”

You laugh under your breath. “I knew it.”

Atsumu rolls his eyes playfully looking down at you. “Assume from this day forward that every song, every word, every thought, and every breath I breathe is about you.”

You can’t top that so you quietly retreat into his arms, safe and loved. “I want lots of kids.”

“We’ll have all the kids you want. I’ll have fun trying.”

The two of you laugh together before taking a moment to join your friends again who by the looks of it are happy for you. “Don’t mess up this time Atsumu.” Kiyoomi warns.

You walk up to the bassist and give him a hug, you do this with all of them. “I missed you guys.”

You all walk out together and you get into Atsumu’s car so he could take you back to his apartment. It’s quiet on the ride back but he holds your hand the entire time.

When you get there he immediately takes you to the roof. “Bo and I made this new song not too long ago. It’s called Die for You.”

He plays the song on his speaker and takes a hold of your hand dancing with you like he did that very first night. “You always have beautiful penmanship.”

He smiles shyly. “Trying to get that into actual words.”

“I believe in you.” You rest your head on his shoulder and sway with him.

You’re not sure how long you stay there dancing for, but you really wouldn’t have minded staying till the morning, and Atsumu wouldn’t have either.

Atsumu is not hard to love. Not in the slightest, and he’s starting to believe that for the first time in a long time.

A/N: I hope this isn’t too bad LMAO

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 7 months

Text

I don't have time to write as much as I'd like right now, because annoyingly, I have to go to work all day before I can sit down and properly process last night's Grace Petrie concert (and watch the Taskmaster episode that I missed for the Grace Petrie concert, I have to do that). But I will say, you know how often at a show, even one you enjoy by someone you like, a small part of you is glad when it starts wrapping up? You start to wonder how much longer it'll go, just because there's a limit to how long we want to sit in one spot with strangers? "Often" is the wrong word, I've been to plenty of shows by my favourite people where that didn't happen. But at an average or even above average show, I start to hit my limit near the end.

Not even the tiniest bit in this one. When she said she only had two songs left, I was purely disappointed; absolutely nothing at the back of my mind thought "Oh good, it'll be nice to get back to my own bed." I could very, very happily have stayed there all night. It somehow exceeded my high expectations.

God, her voice. I think I hadn't fully appreciated how very good her singing voice is, just from a pure singing talent perspective. I knew it was good, I didn't realize just how good until I heard it all night, undiluted by the influence of recording file quality or speaker quality.

Also... I went up to the merch table at intermission. I did first buy a CD of an album that I already have off Bandcamp, and got her to sign it, as a ruse to show her that I am a normal person who wouldn't do something incredibly weird like bring someone else's poster to her show and ask her to sign it. The CD purchase was also a bribe - my parents taught me when I was young and going to folk festivals that singers hang around their merch table to make money; if you give them money for a CD then they won't mind you standing there talking to them for a short time, and sometimes it's worth buying a CD you already have as the price to briefly talk to your favourite singers while they sign it.

Then I pulled out this, and she was so nice about it. I said some incoherent thing like "I have such a strange request, I so hope you're not offended that it's someone else's thing, I'm a huge fan of your music not just the comedy, but I love the idea of having something signed by both of you so I'd love to get yours on this, because it's from close to the first year you toured together..."

"No, no, I'm not offended, Josie Long is one of my best friends! Can I take a picture of this to send her?" That was her answer as she signed it, and then she took a picture of that with her own phone. To send to Josie Long. In addition to the pictures my dad took on his phone and sent to me while I did this.

She played every song I wanted her to play (played much of the Connectivity album, which I think is her best one in addition to being her most recent). She closed on The Losing Side, my favourite song of hers, had the audience sing, that's going down as one of my favourite live music moments. Second last she did Black Tie, which I've always thought was very good but not quite her best one, maybe not as good as some others that seem less famous. But hearing it live gave me a new appreciation for it. I think the studio version I heard was more produced. Live with just her and her guitar and one guy accompanying her (Ben Moss, he was great, there were gorgeous harmonies all night), stripped back compared to the studio version, that song is so fucking beautiful. I understand the hype around it more now.

She got to the end and said only one more song, and I thought this night has been perfect so far, she's played all my favourites except my one top favourite, made a new favourite out of Black Tie for me... there's just one more thing I want, will I get it? Then she turned to her musical accompanyist Ben Moss, and mouthed some words that I was sure were "The Losing Side", and then I knew the night was perfect. The fact that she had to say that to him suggests to me she doesn't close with it every night, she had to let him know what to get ready to play. So I got lucky. So lucky. Fucking hell, so lucky. She had the audience sing the chorus and I didn't even mind that I'm normally not a partipator in these things and my dad was next to me (I'd thought we'd have different seats, turns out it was general admission), I happily participated and I'm glad I did. That's another song that really made me realize how amazing her voice is when I heard it in person.

Not a single song dragged or felt boring. Do you know rare it is to go an entire full length concert where not a single song feels a bit like filler? God, incredible night from start to finish. Could not have asked for more.

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invisibleraven · 10 months

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5 for Peterpatterlina?

Julie walks around the borders of the dance, taking it all in; the flash of every colourful dress, the shine of shoes and hair gel in the overly bright fluorescents of the gym. The band playing overtime as the song reaches a fever pitch.

Honestly she had wanted to be out on the dance floor, letting the music take her, but Nick isn't a dancer, and after one too many times of him stepping on her feet she had begged off. It's not like she can dance with anyone else, not with the Sharks watching her like hawks.

Maybe when they go talk with the Jets about this stupid rumble they're planning she can go sneak in a few dances. Enjoy herself for once without all the stupid rules that restrict her thanks to some stupid turf war.

Then a slow song comes on, and she evades Nick's hopeful eyes, escapes to behind the bleachers and lets herself dance with an invisible partner. Much better company.

Only then a hand slips into hers, and she startles, opening her eyes to see two smiles directed at her. She doesn't know either of these boys, meaning they're most likely Jets. But they're awful cute in their own ways. One with slicked back black hair and a crooked grin that makes her stomach flutter. The other with artfully distress brown hair and eyes that spell mischief.

"Seems a shame for you to be dancing here on your own darlin'," the black haired one said.

"Figured we'd offer our services," the other adds in. "I'm Luke, this is Reggie."

"Julie," she says, giving a shy little curtsey. "And I shouldn't-my cousin he'll-well he wouldn't like it."

"Because of who we are?" Reggie asks, taking her hand and giving her a twirl.

"Or because there's two of us?" Luke questions, catching her in his strong arms.

Julie giggles. "Both." But she lets them dance with her, back and forth until she's just swaying between them, a boy to her front and back as the music slows and dies.

"Julie!"

Shit, that's Flynn, and while Julie knows her friend is understanding, she'd never let Julie live this down. Would ask her what about Nick. Nice, boring, Bernardo approved Nick.

"I have to go," she apologizes.

"Can we see you again?" Reggie asks, kissing her knuckles.

"Maybe take you out?" Luke adds, hopeful.

Every bit of Julie wants to say yes, but she can hear Flynn calling her name even louder, and she can't risk getting found hiding with two Jet boys, so she shakes her head with apology and dashes off. Thinking that this one memory is all she'll have of them.

Only they find her house, somehow. Climb the trellis to see her once more, perched on her roof and whisper how much fun they had. How much they want to see her again. And Julie can't deny she wants the same. They make plans to meet in the city the next day, take in a museum uptown where no one will know them.

And they do.

It's bliss to walk hand in hand in hand with them, and though a few people do double takes at the three of them, most everyone goes on about their day. Luke and Reggie are happy to walk her through each exhibit, one of them always having something to say about a piece, but happy enough to let Julie wax poetic about the ones she likes.

They share their first kisses in an empty room full of stained glass, reflections and refractions of rainbow staining them. Bringing out the green in Reggie's eyes and the pink of his blush. Mimicking the multi-faceted nature of Luke's eyes, unable to settle, just like the man himself.

From there they check out a concert in the park one day, take out a rowboat the next. Always in a part of town far from the Sharks and Jets, away from the prejudice and silly fighting based on some asinine ideas over who owns the small strip of land they both reside in.

"The rumble is tomorrow," Reggie said quietly as they picnic under the shade of a tree.

"Please tell me you're not really going," Julie begs.

"We have to boss. If only to let cooler heads prevail, maybe find a way to end this," Luke replies. "So the three of us can stop sneaking around."

Julie worries her bottom lip, clutching their hands in hers. She's hated all the sneaking around they have to do. The lies to her friends and family about where she disappears to. Weeks and weeks of falsehoods and lies so she can have her bit of paradise, her slice of happily ever after.

She wonders if the truth come out would the fighting stop, or would it just make it worse. "I just wish there was a place for us. A chance that we could be together, happily with no worries about gangs or hatred, or anything," she finally whispered.

"Us too," Reggie whines, pulling her close, pulling Luke in too. They clutch and cling to one another, as if this will be their last moment together.

"Maybe... maybe we just run away," Luke proposes. "No matter which way the rumble goes. We can go find our place out in the world. The three of us."

"No more hiding?" Reggie asks.

"No more hiding," Julie repeats with a nod.

They make plans, and finally part with fevered kisses and promises to see one another on the other side. Julie packs her bag, and writes a note. She hates to leave her family, but she can't live like this any longer. This stifled partitioned existence that makes the two people she loves most in the world a secret to the rest of it.

She waits at the bus stop, clinging to her valise, even as the big clock at the station clicks past midnight. Prays and thumbs at her rosary that her boys are safe.

Luke appears first, a small bag slung over his back. His lip is swollen and there's a bruise forming at his jaw. A small trickle of blood escapes his nose, and his knuckles look pretty worse for the wear. But he's there, swinging her around, then pulling her into a kiss, assuring her that Reggie is coming.

Reggie appears almost an hour later, and Julie gasps when she seems him. His eye is black and shut tight, he's limping, and covered in small cuts and scratches. Even worse is that Luke mutters a curse, saying most of that isn't from the rumble. Reggie has a suitcase and a blinding smile as he rushes too them, promising he's okay.

"Ready to go find our place?" he asks.

"Always," Luke replies.

Julie takes one small glance back at the town. The place she grew up, that nurtured her, that helped her find her voice, and she bids it a bittersweet farewell. Maybe one day the three of them will come back here. Find it changed or not, for better or worse.

But then Julie turns and sees her future, the two hands held out to her, and she smiles, taking them and letting her boys escort her to the world. And from then on, she never looks back.

#filled prompts #ficlet #rukebox #peterpatterlina #julie and the phantoms

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okaylikesmomo · 1 year

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Chapter 13: Sharon

The shuttle arrives at the hotel and finally after a long day of travel you made it to Atlanta. The girls were definitely exhausted, as Jihyo feebly tried to cheer them up while they grabbed their bags.

"Girls, we made it, think about how sad it would have been for Once if we had to cancel the show!" Jihyo says, trying to convince herself just as much as the other girls that she was in high spirits.

A few of the members muster up smiles as there is a general mumble of agreement. It was different, seeing the girls look so tired. You understood though, they had already done so many concerts and so much traveling, it was no surprise that they were getting tired. As someone who has seen the amount of extra work they have to put in outside of the three hours or so of performance per concert, you really respected their perseverance. Hours spent doing makeup, traveling, rehearsals, and various other prep would really take a toll on anyone.

The girls just needed a bit of rest, and you were sure that tomorrow they would all wake up refreshed and energetic as always, ready to perform. There were some brief talks about getting lunch together before the concert as the girls made their ways to their rooms. One by one the girls went to their rooms until it was just you and Mina walking together through the hotel hallways.

Mina was the exception to the group as she walked with a light bounce in her step, somehow still full of energy, "the night's not over yet," she says as she walks with you.

You knew this was coming. Mina sat next to you on the shuttle and definitely kept you wide awake during the ride as she was very handsy with you. The short session on the flight was definitely not enough to satisfy Mina's craving for you, and with how much the girl has been teasing you lately you were far from satisfied. The two of you arrive at Mina's door and you consider dropping your bags off at your own room first but you decide there was no point. Frankly, there was no point in even having your own room with how little time you actually spend in it.

You follow Mina in and drop your bags by the door so you can turn to lock it. Before you can even finish turning back around, Mina forces herself onto you, her mouth colliding with yours as your back gets slammed into the door. You can already tell what kind of session Mina wanted tonight, but she confirms it completely when she bites your lip.

You let out a small yelp from the pain as Mina giggles, "same safe word," and runs over to her bed, sitting on the edge. You walk into the room, following her, feeling your lips where you think you could taste the slightest amount of blood.

By the time you walk up to the bed, Mina had already stripped down and was just wearing her underwear now. As you stand there in front of her, she looks up at you with puppy dog eyes. She was wasting absolutely no time tonight.

"I've been naughty, are you going to punish me," she asks while pouting up at you, emphasizing the last two words.

You lean down and unclasp her bra, letting it fall down and expose her chest. You stare at her body for a moment, composing yourself for what was to come. She reaches for your belt but you grab her hands firmly.

"Like you said, you deserve to be punished," you say, gripping her wrists hard, "you don't get to do anything tonight unless I say."

Mina can barely contain her excitement as she lowers her hands back to her side and nods up at you.

You bring your palm to her cheek and give it a little slap. It was barely more than a pat, as you didn't want to actually hurt her. You unbuckle your pants and drop them to the ground, letting your cock get right up next to her face. You lean down and whisper into her ear, "and what do you do if you can't say the safeword."

She pinches your thigh twice, showing you that she remembers the signals that the two of you previously established. You stand up straight and place your hand on the back of her head.

"Knees," you command.

Mina obeys as she slides off the bed and onto her knees before you. You grab her head with both hands and immediately guide her mouth to your cock. You angle her head, making sure you can clearly see her pretty face, as you press her mouth against your cock. She parts her lips and you enter her, moving her head back and forth. It doesn't take very long for you to become fully erect as the topless girl lets you use her mouth freely. You can feel her start to move on her own accord, without the need of your hands.

You remind her that you are in control of her tonight by pressing her head all the way forward, holding her face to your crotch. Her hand moves up to your thigh and you wait a moment, giving her a chance to signal stop if she needed. She doesn't. You push forward even more so that she is slightly leaning back and hold her for a few moments before pulling her head back all the way and then pushing forward again. You repeat the motion of going all the way back and all the way forward a few more times. You withdraw your cock, Mina's saliva making a trail from the tip to her lips as she coughs lightly. She looks up at you, not even close to her limit yet.

"Use my throat, I deserve it," she gasps.

You stroke yourself, coating your shaft with her saliva evenly and step forward so that your balls are hanging above her face. You let her capture her breath briefly as she licks your balls. You notice her hand between her legs, rubbing her underwear as she licks you. You step back and pull her up so she's standing in front of you.

"Nuh uh, I didn't say you could touch yourself."

She pouts, "I'm sorry."

You grab her shoulders and turn her around before pushing her forward onto the bed, bending her over it. You pull her underwear, the same ones that were in your mouth just a couple hours ago, down to her ankles. You spread her cheeks, squishing away at her gorgeous ass and observing her cute little asshole. You raise your hand and give her right cheek a big smack, her ass rippling in a wave.

"Sorry for what?" you ask.

"I'm sorry for not listening," she whines.

"Are you going to do it again?"

"No."

You slap her left cheek this time, leaving a red imprint of your hand, "No, what?"

"No I won't do it again," she moans.

You admire her round ass, wanting nothing more than to shove your face into it, but you control yourself. It wasn't time for that. You reach forward and pull her up from her shoulders so that she is upright again. With both hands, you take her tits into your hands, feeling the softness and pinching at her nipples until they are hard. You reach down between her legs and coat your hand in her juices.

"Lay down," you order her, positioning her so that she is laying down flat on her back on the bed with her head hanging over the bottom of it and her feet up towards the pillows.

You step over her so that you are standing at the base of the bed, her face between your legs, and lower yourself slightly so that your balls rest on her lips. She resumes the licking at your command, this time taking your balls into her mouth and sucking on them. You stroke yourself slowly with the hand covered in her juices. You lift your balls out of her mouth, making her release them with a slight popping noise.

Her breaths hit your cock as you reposition slightly so that your shaft is angled downwards. You squat so that your cock can enter her mouth, bending forward and placing your hands on the bed next to her legs to prop yourself up. You're now in a pseudo sixty-nine position with her laying on the bed while you stand. You start thrusting into her mouth as you feel her hands rest on your thighs, staying aware of her touch just in case. You thrust hard and deep into her throat, the sound of her gagging increasing with each one.

Raising one hand you give her pussy a little slap, making sure to be a bit gentle as you knew how much this could hurt. You rub your fingers up and down her folds while thrusting your cock down her throat. You rub her entire pussy, spreading her fluids all around, coating her ass as well. Using your fingers, you spread her lips so that the light pink is showing clearly. You stop thrusting for a moment and lean down all the way, giving her a singular lick and then blowing cold air onto her pussy before lifting yourself back up and resuming the thrusting.

Mina struggles to make much coherent noise with your cock filling her mouth, but you are pretty sure you can hear her moan of disappointment as you tease her pussy with your mouth. You lift your cock out of her mouth, giving her a few seconds as she gasps and catches her breath, before plunging your lower body back down into her mouth. You go slightly slower now and not as hard, giving her a bit of a break.

You reach your hands forward and grab the back of her thighs, pulling her legs up towards you. Then you slide your hand back down between her legs, rubbing them down her pussy and between her ass. You insert your middle and ring fingers and begin thrusting into her little asshole while still fucking her mouth. You can hear her moaning in pleasure. With your free hand, you occasionally rub her clit. Not enough to make her cum, but just enough to keep her on edge.

After continuing for a few minutes, you remove your cock and fingers from her body. You step back and admire your work so far, as her chin is covered in saliva and her pussy has been leaking excessively onto the bed, leaving a puddle. You lift her up so that she is no longer laying there with her head hanging over the edge. Her face was a bit red and she was breathing heavily. You give her a few moments to recover, as she sits on the edge of the bed.

"You've been teasing me a lot lately," you say as you walk towards her bag. You rummage through it until you find what you were looking for.

Mina notices the straps in your hands and can barely contain her excitement, but she sits patiently on the bed awaiting your next order. You guide Mina so that she's on her hands and knees, doggystyle position on the bed. You slide the little strap across her ass.

"Are you going to tease me more?"

Mina looks back over her shoulder at you and bites her lip before answering, "no."

You whip the strap against her ass, the sound cracking through the room making it sound a lot harder than it actually was.

"We've been over this before, no what?"

"No I won't tease you," she whimpers.

You slide the strap between her legs, rubbing her pussy.

"Do you deserve to cum."

She nods her head, "yes please."

You whip her again, this time just a bit softer.

"Do you deserve to cum," you repeat.

"N-no I don't," she stutters.

You place your hand on her ass, feeling the warmth where the strap hit. Her cheeks had a rosy glow.

"Should I fuck you?"

She hesitates, trying to figure out what the correct answer is as she looks back at you.

"Y-yes please?" she says unconfidently.

You raise the strap up high and she shuts her eyes tight, bracing for the hit. But it never comes. You lower the straps and massage her ass for a moment, relishing in the softness of her skin. You grab her hands and pull them back behind her body, making her face fall forward into the bed. You tie her hands together and then loosen the strap to put the other loop around her neck. Her arms were now tied behind her back and attached to her neck. You give her wrists a small tug and watch as her head moves back in response.

You let go of her hands and let her face fall to the bed again. You climb onto the bed, on your knees behind her. You take your penis and guide it towards her pussy. You enter with ease, as she was dripping wet at this point, and plunge balls deep into her pussy. Mina moans loud, finally being satisfied by your cock. But it was short lived. You pull back and withdraw your cock from her pussy entirely. She looks back at you, her expression looking like she was about to start crying, but she remains silent.

You slap her ass again, eliciting a small gasp from her. "You'll have to work a bit harder if you want that," you whisper.

Mina could barely contain her disappointment, "please, what can I do," she begs.

You position your tip against her tight asshole and push forward, your bodies already drenched in Mina's bodily fluids. Her ass accepts your cock and Mina cries out in pleasure as you insert yourself.

"Make me cum and I'll consider it."

You see her smile for just a brief moment before she turns her head to face forward, away from you. Accepting your challenge, she begins moving her body back and forth, fucking herself in the ass with your cock. She was using you as if you were a sex-toy attached to the wall. Her body moved fast, back and forth, and she began doing small circles with her lower body. It was impressive, the amount of body control the girl had. You loved fucking dancers.

The way she moved made it look like her ass offered no resistance, but it was tight. You looked down and could see her asshole gripping your cock as she slid back and forth. Luckily she was wet enough, because this time you didn't add any extra lube like you normally would. You grab her hands, gently reminding her of the constraints, but you only give a very small tug. You let her work her body on your cock, and you quickly felt your orgasm coming.

With your free hand, you slap her ass again. This time a bit harder than before, leaving a small mark. You see her body shake, but she keeps fucking you. You let go of the straps and place both hands on her ass, gripping onto her as you are mere moments away from cumming. You give her one last slap before you begin exploding inside her tight little ass.

As you fill her up, pump by pump, she starts slowing down. You watch your cock pulse inside her, noticing now that her back was coated in a layer of sweat; She was working. You pull back, the cum quickly leaking down her leg. You grab your cock and slide it up her thigh, collecting the white goo on your tip to the best of your ability. You stand up on the bed and step in front of her, putting your cum covered tip into her mouth. She sucks at it enthusiastically, licking as much of your cum off as she could.

You stroke her hair as she cleans your cock, "you've been a very good girl."

You step off the bed and grab a wipe from her bag, quickly cleaning your cock off. Mina was still in doggy position in the bed, using her hand to rub her asshole. It must be a lot more sore than she was willing to admit. You walk back to the bed, behind her again. The bed was completely soiled at this point as Mina was dripping all over it, and now your cum was also spread across it.

Considering she had a concert tomorrow, you figured it would be best to not push limits. You massage her ass a bit, hoping to reduce some of the soreness for tomorrow as you reposition yourself on your knees behind her. With one hand on her lower back and the other hand gripping your shaft, you slowly push into her pussy once more.

She moans quietly, still unsure if you were going to actually fuck her this time. Her apprehensiveness, however, was unnecessary. You had teased her enough already. You start fucking her pussy at a steady pace, not too fast but also not too slow. You could see drops of her juices flying out of her pussy already, further soiling the bed sheets. You bring your thumb to her asshole and lightly massage it, too.

Her pussy never once stops leaking as you fuck her, making you wonder if she was going to become dehydrated. It really took no time at all to make her cum, as you could feel her pussy getting tighter rapidly. You keep thrusting away at a steady pace, playing with her ass while you do. After what was probably only a couple of minutes, she cums. Her legs start trembling and her pussy gushes a bit as you feel the pressure on your cock. You reach forward and grab her hands, yanking them back as she cums.

Her cries fill the air as her orgasm takes over. As the straps choked her slightly, you felt her pussy tighten even more. She was a mess, her whole body shaking as she rode out the orgasm. You keep thrusting, slowly and methodically, letting her enjoy every second of the orgasm. This had to be one of her longest orgasms ever, as it felt like she was never going to stop, but eventually she did.

You untie the straps and sit down at the head of the bed, propped up on the pillows. You watch as Mina lets her body fall to the bed, finally free from the restraints. She was in a state of bliss as she lay there on her stomach, one hand between her legs slowly rubbing her pussy. She turns to face you and smiles, before sliding up the bed and laying on your chest.

"Are you okay?" you ask.

She reaches her hand back and rubs her ass, "I can take a hundred of those slaps again no problem, but whipping the strap really hurts."

You reach your hand down her body and also rub her ass a bit before kissing her forehead, "I'm sorry, now we know for next time."

She giggles and kisses your cheek, "I liked it though."

You pinch her butt playfully, "in that case, next time I won't be softer." You look down at the completely soiled bed sheets, "maybe we sleep in my room tonight."

Mina laughs again, "yeah good idea, but first I think I still need to finish you off."

You wouldn't have minded, as you had already cum once earlier, but you knew that Mina wouldn't let it go. She slides down and starts blowing you, while you take the time to massage her cute bum.

You wake up and turn to your side, watching the black haired girl sleep. Her gentle breaths alongside the movement of her chest up and down was cathartic. You bring your hand to her face and move her hair to the side, giving you a clear look at her. She had an ethereal beauty to her, her resting expression in a slight frown. As you move her hair, she slowly opens her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," you apologize.

She sat up, the blanket falling down as she raised her arms to the roof and stretched. Her small top rode up, exposing her tummy and abs. She rubbed her eyes before dropping her arms calmly to her side and turning to face you with a smile. Even waking up was a graceful event for her.

"I slept great, don't worry," Mina says with a smile as she gets off the bed and walks to the bathroom.

You grab your phone from the side table and quickly take a look at your emails as you hear the shower turn on in the bathroom. Nothing of major importance, but you were told that you weren't needed for setup at the venue for today's concert, so you could arrive a bit later. You open up the Twice group chat where a few messages were sent earlier.

JH: Is anyone actually awake

NY: I am, Momo is not

JY: Ya but I'm tired

JH: I think we cancel lunch, pretty sure everyone is tired

NY: agreed

Sounds like the girls had canceled the plans already, you start typing on your phone.

Y/N: I can get some extra snacks set for before the concert and then I'll have food ordered for afterwards

MM: are you the snack

JY: Momo stupid

JH: I guess Momo woke up, that sounds perfect Y/N!

CY: Dahyun also wants to know if you are the snack.

You spend a bit of time browsing social media as you lay in bed, reading comments on the posts about how Twice almost had to cancel the show. There were a handful of articles on various tabloid sites as there always are anytime Twice does literally anything. Some of them were pretty click-baity, claiming that Twice was canceling their tour and all that. A lot of people get annoyed by these types of articles, but you did see a bit of humor in their absurdity. While the company would quickly shut down any damaging rumors being spread, there was no point in making a big deal about the very obviously insane ones.

You put your phone away as you hear the bathroom door open. Mina walks back into the room with a towel wrapped around her body and using another towel to dry her hair. She looked so pretty, standing there as the towel hid none of her curves. She had a small frame, but her body was stunningly curvy.

"You're still in bed?" she asks, tilting her head.

"The girls were tired, plans got canceled, we have some extra time."

She pouts, "so I could have stayed in bed?"

"Nothing is stopping you from coming back."

"You'd like that wouldn't you," she says as she turns to her bag and pulls out an oversized shirt.

You sit up, leaning on the headrest and watch her from behind when you notice something, "wait, isn't that my shirt?"

She drops the towel, revealing her nude body for a moment before she slips into the shirt. It was way too big on her, but she looked so cute wearing it. The oversized shirt with no pants look was definitely a good one on her.

Mina walks over to the bed and straddles you, smiling wide, "so I guess we have some time to kill."

This girl was insatiable at times, not that it bothered you.

"How do you propose we do that," you reply, "should we watch a movie?"

She moves her face into your neck and utters just one word, "no."

"Should we listen to music?" you ask as you slide your hands up her thighs, feeling her body up.

"No," she states before kissing your neck gently.

You move your hands further up and around her body until they find her ass and you press your palms into her cheeks, "should we read something?"

Mina moves her face up from your neck until she is face to face with you, staring into your eyes. This time she whispers, "no," before moving her face forward.

Her tongue enters your mouth as your noses brush up against each other and her eyes shut. Her lips were softer than normal, probably because of the shower, and it seems she had put on a gloss that tasted slightly sweet. Her hands rested on your chest while your hands grabbed handfuls of her ass. But you were gentle, matching the softness of her tranquil movements.

Your mouths part and she opens her eyes. Mina's expression was screaming that she wanted you, but not like last night. She wanted you as a lover, not a fucktoy; That was just how Mina was, either on one extreme or the other. You let her take a quick breath before this time you press forward into her, resuming your kiss. Your hands move past her ass and slide up her back. You rub her soft skin as your tongues intertwine. Her body was not entirely dry from the shower, but it was warm. You reach down and pull the shirt she had just put on up over her head, as your mouths are forced apart briefly.

You take a moment to admire her nude body. You've seen Mina's body ample times within the last 24 hours, but this morning it was different. She had a celestial glow to her this morning as she sat on your lap, taking deep breaths. Her entire torso was moving up and down, maintaining eye contact with you. Once again the two of you lean forward, this time equal amounts. Her hands move up to your face, caressing your cheeks as she breathes into your mouth.

You move your hands up her body, admiring every inch, until they are just below her breasts. Instead of grabbing her small mounds, you slide your hands around her body to her back once more. Your bodies press into each other as you hug her tight, your mouth still working in tandem with hers. You feel her arms wrap around your bare chest as she embraces you. It would have been no bother to you if this moment lasted forever.

Mina shifts her body slightly, removing the tight contact with your body while still keeping her lips on yours. You feel her hand slide around your bare body until it slides into your boxers. You feel her fingers wrap around your shaft as she slowly and softly pumps it to life. You let her take full control of the moment as you just enjoy the ride. Mina eventually stops kissing you once she feels your cock harden and slides off your body, pulling your boxers down to your ankles. You help her remove the garment and let your cock stand up straight.

She positions herself on her knees between your legs. She lowers her upper body until her face is just above your upright cock as she continues to stare into your eyes. Her ass is lifted, and you can see it in your periphery, but you keep your eyes locked on hers. She brings both hands to your shaft, locking her fingers, and slowly moves them up and down, stroking you with utmost care. She leans down and plants a kiss on your tip.

You watch as Mina kisses your tip a couple more times before she straightens her body again. Again, she brings her lips to yours and resumes making out with you. Her hands stayed locked together, still pumping away at your shaft slowly and gently. You don't know how long it went on for, but eventually you stop her. It was difficult, but now it was her turn.

You flip her around so that she's on her back, her knees bent and in the air, surrounding your body. You give her a short kiss on her lips. Then you move down and kiss her chin, her neck, between her breasts, and her tummy. Each movement is slow and calculated, tasting every piece of her skin as you work your way down. You were now face to face with her most intimate part.

She was wet, and you're sure it wasn't because of the shower. You place your hands under her thighs to hold her steady and then you take your tongue and run it around her pussy in a circle. You leave a big trail of saliva around her lips, tasting her soft skin. You kiss her clit, spending a bit longer here than you did with the rest of her body, making Mina moan slightly as you do. Then you open your mouth wide and place it on her entire pussy, engulfing as much of her lady parts as you can before you start licking away.

Mina erupts in moans as you eat her out. Your tongue works efficiently as your hands lightly massage her legs, your only goal was to satisfy the girl. You're quick, but not aggressive. It was clear that Mina was liking it as you feel her body squirming, using your hands to hold her somewhat steady while still giving her the freedom to lose control. Time flashes by as after what feels like seconds you feel Mina's lower body rising off the bed.

Her pussy was now angled upwards, giving you even better access to it. Her moans were getting louder, but becoming more muffled as her thighs began to squeeze the sides of your head. Your hands slide upwards a bit, helping support her body by holding her up from her ass as she starts shaking. You can feel her cumming as her legs shake around your face. You close your lips slightly, still attached to her pussy, and begin kissing her clit again. Mina's lower body falls down to the bed and her legs straighten out. You lift your face up from between them and look at her. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was the heaviest it has been yet. She opens her eyes and looks at you. She has the softest expression ever as she smiles.

You lean forward and kiss her again as she hugs you. Her eyes were a bit glossy, and you use a finger to carefully wipe them for her as she lays there and lets you, leaving herself in a more vulnerable state this morning than she ever was last night. Your hand rests next to her head.

"Fuck me," she whispers purely despite the vulgar wordage.

"How?" you ask softly while having an idea of her desire.

She stares at you and answers without speaking as she spreads her legs wide. You knew this time, in contast to last night, she only wanted the most intimate positions; there would be no animalstic fucking from behind. You loved Mina's duality, it fit her so well. You kiss her again before backing up and pushing her legs together. You lift them up so she is bent 90 degrees at her waist, her feet pointed towards the roof. You slide your cock in her thigh gap, rubbing against her wet pussy and sliding all the way forward.

Her folds wrap around your shaft, while her thighs create a tight pocket for you to fuck. You start moving your body back and forth, hearing the wet sounds of her pussy sliding across your cock. You move her legs to the side slightly so you can see Mina's face clearly as you thigh-fuck her. Your hands grab her calves, holding them together for her. You move forward even more, bending her body past 90 as she shows off her flexibility. Her feet remain pointed, balerina style, as you fuck her soft thighs.

She's moaning hard now, approaching another orgasm. You stop thrusting and reach your hands up, grabbing her feet. Using them as handles, you spread her legs wide into the splits. You slide your hands down her legs as you do until they reach her thighs. You rub the wetness from her pussy around, covering her thighs until they are shining with her fluids. Your cock was still sitting on her pussy, her folds wrapping around it slightly.

You pull back, sliding through her pussy lips until your tip reaches the entrance. Before inserting, you lean forward and hug her, sticking your face into the crevice of her neck and kissing it softly. You wrap your arms under her body, embracing her completely before slowly, inch by inch, entering her pussy. She lets out a long, drawn out cry into your ear. Once you reach halfway deep into her, you pull back slowly and push forward again.

With each subsequent thrust, you go deeper. It took an insane amount of control to not just plunge balls deep in her perfect body, but this moment was about her. You feel her legs wrap around your body, her arms wrapped around your neck. Your bodies became one as you thrust lovingly into her softness, eventually at the point of going all the way in. Her cries and moans fill the room as you lift your head and stare into her dewy eyes. She had a pleading look of pleasure which you admire briefly before kissing her and closing your eyes. Her warmth engulfed your body in every way possible. This kiss being the wettest one yet as she starts moaning into your mouth.

You lose track of time. You forget about the tour, about the concerts, about your job, about everything that is not Mina. Her lower body was matching your movements, she was fucking you as much as you were fucking her. You felt yourself about to cum, but no words needed to be said. Somehow, you knew that Mina also knew, as you start pumping just a bit faster into her, still being gentle. Your hands grab her back tightly as you start to cum, your cock pulsing deep inside her body as she keeps moving. The way she kept working her body back and forth as you lost control of yourself made the orgasm staggering.

You stop kissing her and move your head to the side, leaning into her neck again. While you have stopped thrusting, Mina was still slowly moving back and forth along your cock, taking full control of your orgasm as you savor her body. When you finally feel the pulsing stop, the two of you lay there for a bit longer in each other's embrace.

You eventually muster up the strength to lift yourself up, unwrapping your arms from her. She, in return, unwraps her legs from you. As you lay there above her body looking down at her, she smiles warmly.

"I think I need another shower," she says.

You slowly pull back, withdrawing your shaft, watching as a giant glob of white cum spills out of her pussy. It was only now that you noticed how agonizingly sensitive your penis was. You also notice how wet Mina was between her legs.

"I think I'm willing to skip every lunch for this," you say.

She giggles and hits your chest playfully as you roll off her body. Mina gets up from the bed and waddles over to the bathroom before pausing and turning her head.

"Coming?"

#smut #fanfic #fluff #twice #kpop #nayeon #jeongyeon #momo #sana #jihyo #mina #dahyun #chaeyoung #tzuyu #jype #male reader #mature

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bandefic · 5 months

Note

Hi, it’s me, Fanfic Anon #2. So I saw they went to the Madonna concert in Sunday (yay!), which inspired this piece. Now, I don’t think either of them are prudish - they are French after all - I did hear that these concerts are a lot, and he was conspicuously looking anywhere but at the stage in the photo I saw. This is a little spicier than I normally write, but I hope everyone enjoys!

(PS, @ballsonfiree, sending huge hugs and prayers your way.)

"What did you think of the concert, chéri?" She asked, shrugging off her coat at the doorway to their apartment, holding her hand out for his coat, to hang on the his and her hooks just inside the entryway.

"It was fine," he answered simply.

"Fine?" She asked confused, taking his hand as they moved towards the bedroom.

"I don’t know. It was a lot," he blushed as he thought back to some of the more risqué bits. He wasn’t quite sure what exactly he had watched, or more accurately caught in his preifereal vision as he actively avoided staring straight at certain moves.

"It was a lot," she agreed, shuddering at the memory of one of the more graphic mimed movements.

"You’re the only woman I really want to see strip anyway," he shrugged, causing a lightbulb to go off in her mind.

"Is that so?" She knowingly smirked at him.

"You know it is," he replied, brow knit in confusion as to the sudden change in her demeanor. "What’s going on?"

"Come on, don’t you trust me?" she teased mysteriously as she gently shoved him onto the edge of their bed, stepping back slowly when she was satisfied he was seated and not going anywhere.

"More than anything," he swore sincerely, still a little nervous about what she had up that clever sleeve.

"Then, just sit back and enjoy," she instructed, slowly slipping out of one of the sleeves of her blazer, before shrugging out of the other one, letting it fall to the ground.

"What are you doing?" He questioned again, knowing how much that borrowed blazer costs.

"You said I was the only one you wanted to see strip," she explained as she hooked her thumbs in the hem of her t-shirt, quickly pulling it over her head, joining its partner on the floor. "So, I’m fulfilling that particular request," she added as she toed off her shoes, before carefully bending to remove her pants, allowing him an eyeful of her cleavage.

Straightening back up to her full height, she grinned victoriously as she saw his eyes darkened, ready to go in for the kill. "Now, does that also extend to seeing me naked?"

Hi Anon 2! This was such a sexy story! You should continue with the spicy stories because you sure know how to write them! Thank you for sharing this piece. 💕

P.S I also loved that they went to a Madonna concert and the pictures of E looking uncomfortable made me chuckle lol.

#emmanuel macron #brigitte macron #les macrons #france #fanfiction #anon 2 #madonna

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limmastyles · 2 years

Note

I don’t think Deuxmoi is on Olivia’s payroll anymore because they are posting about the timeline of Olivia and Jason’s break up and Olivia and Harry getting “together”. It really isn’t looking good for her. The pressure is getting worser. For the last I want to say five years of Harry solo career they have try to strip him of that womanizer, home wrecker, Play boy image and he was successful in it for a very long time but now it is back full force because of Olivia. They are now questioning if Harry and Olivia got together and if Olivia was cheating on Jason. This doesn’t look good for Olivia but it also doesn’t feel good for hairy and that reputation and that image of him that was on him for so long is now back at the grown age of 28 years old. This isn’t a good luck. He was known to get with women who are in relationships and or married and dated around a lot when he was younger and yeah he made some mistakes but he was young but this just isn’t a good look for him anymore. With all of the reviews that this movie has been getting and all the bad ones and him completely getting roasted online and the fact that his performance in How are you darling was trash to now people questioning him and his character as a human being isn’t good for him. We’ve been saying this but Jeff needs to start the separation now. Olivia we all know isn’t really allowed at the concerts because she would have been there if she was and they need to keep her away from Harry and the concert for a while have them be separated during press do what they did at Venice And not really interact with each other and then when the movie comes out released a break up article. Harry and Olivia being together is a liability to Harry because everything that we’ve been saying for the past two years is now coming true, we have said that people were going to start paying attention to the timeline of the relationship, we said that there was issues with between Florence and Olivia, we said that Shia didn’t get fired he quit and there were issues on set. We’ve been saying this for a really long time and everything that we predicted has come true. Harry needs to cut the shit off. As soon as possible.This is the type of thing that people will not want to hire Harry to be in their movies anymore. And the fact that the little mermaid trailer came out and it looks pretty great that could’ve been Harry but he chose to do this shit instead and now he has to pay the consequences for agreeing to the shit and keeping it going as long as he has. I don’t think any money that he’s going to get from this movie is worth it seeing as it’s probably not gonna do that great in the box office so what’s the point anymore. All of the work that they have done over the last year and a half was worthless because this movie is trash and so was his performance. We all saw how stressed out and tense Jeff was at Venice film festival and he needs to take some action because it’s now starting to unravel even more and Kerry will continue to look worse and worse

Jeffrey, see the truth!

#fauxlivia #holivia is fake #holivia stunt #pr stunt #publicitystunt #holivia #pr relationships #olivia wilde #holivia pr stunt #publicity stunt

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tortoisesshells · 2 years

Note

Could I please request #15 for character introductions? Please and thank you <3

kind friend, you can ask anything and I will try to oblige! thank YOU ( & @mercurygray) for letting me workshop Lettice!

Introduce Your OC: (15) Doing something they love

“England expects that every man will do his duty,” said Lettice Morgan Odell, who was neither a man nor English, staring up a column that might well be classified as obscene. Maybe it was proof England had forgiven the old Admiral for an affair that was particularly remarked upon even in a more permissive age; maybe the human mind just tended that way, when it wanted to celebrate prowess in battle. She’d spent enough time considering Washington’s monument to believe it. Cocking her head, Lettice wondered, not for the first time in her life, exactly how much bird shit accumulated on Nelson’s hat every year, and how the many thousands of unpatriotic birds somehow managed to beat the Luftwaffe for accuracy.

Lettice’s companion looked at the column, then over at her – waiting for her to explain, maybe. But Lewis Nixon wasn’t a patient man, and she only had a beat or two before he forged on to guess: “You get that from the papers?”

“Old ones.”

“All right, Professor,” he said easily, and Lettice buried her grimace in the lighting of a cigarette, telling herself it was only temporary, that the war would end someday and she’d finish her studies, and that Nix hadn’t meant it as a barb, anyway, not like her family did, “why does England expect every man do his duty?”

“It’s what Nelson signaled his fleet, before Trafalgar.”

“They won that one, didn’t they?”

It was Lettice’s turn to look sidelong at her companion, wearing one of those smiles that telegraphed mischief more efficiently than signal flags could.

“I believe you’re winding me up, Lieutenant Nixon.”

“It was even odds, on a guess,” he replied. The mischief was still there, smiling; it wasn’t malice but Lettice still felt herself bracing for maliciousness, or worse, suffocating indifference. She was feeling like a bruise all over, these days; she thought of what she knew, that England had triumphed and Lord Nelson’s body had been brought home to his mistress in a cask.

Better not continue that lecture, for everyone’s sake.

“How did you find the concert?”

“Lousy,” Nix replied.

Lettice privately agreed, but didn’t want to open that line of conversation – she said instead that it was a shame Myra Hess herself had not been playing that day, but it had only been a shilling apiece anyway, and surely they’d been to more expensive concerts that were equally as uninspiring? That reminded him both of some long-ago concert of Holst’s The Planets that had both of them nodding off – the party after – then, better times. It was scarcely a mile to walk back, and Lettice allowed herself to be escorted along, thinking –

If it was lousy, and she had suspected it would be, why had she told Nix that she was going, knowing the Army was a lot less forgiving with passes than your average school? Why hadn’t they gone anywhere else? And what had he expected, anyway? Finding an old girlfriend set up on a shelf in Mayfair, ushering an endless stream of luminaries and politicians and businessmen through her Uncle’s rooms, for the good of the Morgan name and the Morgans’ contributions to the war? What else was there for her to do, but take herself out of an afternoon and listen to a concert in the middle of a war unlike anything the world had seen, and somehow find the brazenness to be bored by it all?

Amazing, too, how there was always new territory at the intersection of boredom and terror to discover – a barren flat land much like what she had seen of the middle part of home from the train, or the North Atlantic in a winter convoy: nowhere to go, nowhere to hide, nothing to do. Deeply unsettling to find that same place in the middle of a museum she’d well-loved as a girl – walls stripped, even a determined concert could not make the maze of rooms seem anything other than vaguely menacing. For a moment, in the shrill of the strings – she almost had expected the Minotaur.

She had to stop drinking before lunch, on an empty stomach. Her feet and hands were steady but her mind was as panicky as a doe that’s caught the whiff of powder.

That was a poor metaphor, too, though not so poor as it could be – she was being pursued, and was, at worst, ambivalent to it; Nix didn’t much care for music, and the less he said about Lady Gater’s ham and chutney sandwiches in the ersatz basement canteen, the better. It was the company he had been after. She hadn’t missed the proprietary hand ushering her to her seat, nor that he took care to listen to her rambling about the Brandenburg Concertos and then Horatio Nelson – bad luck he’d known her as a girl, and worse that he knew enough to use it to his own ends.

Nix said something about a drink, and not drinking alone; if he was proposing that she not be alone, she’d take it.

“Won’t you come in?” she asked – already knowing the answer.

#fic #my fic #facilis descensus averno #band of brothers (hbo)#gosh this is a mess she is a mess i am going to shout #something something history footnotes something something #also vintage me: have i talked about horatio nelson recently?

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peace-coast-island · 1 year

Text

Diary of a Junebug

Watermelon tea, pan fried dumplings, and vinyl records

A winter storm has hit and so we’re all cozied up in the cabin while waiting for it to pass. Good thing it happened later, just right when we got back to the camp instead of before, or else we’d be stranded. As long as we have heating and electricity, it’s all good.

Daisy Jane, Almie, and Pippa met up with Connie, Xiang, and Pai at Royal Botanical to see Ying and Hua perform. They’re on tour to promote their collab album Moon and Stars Intertwined, which came out a couple months ago. I got the album as soon as it released and it’s quickly become one of my favorites.

Ying and Hua always wanted to do an album together so this is a special project for them. What makes their music unique is that they have completely different styles - Hua is classical and traditional while Ying is rock and roll - so combining those styles leads to interesting results. I’ve always been a fan of artists who manage to incorporate classical elements into modern sounds so obviously their music caught my attention. I’d say they did a fantastic job and I can’t wait to hear more!

To promote the album, the duo went off on a tour. I didn’t expect to snag some tickets to catch a concert, mainly because I didn’t think they’d be performing anywhere near here. Well, Royal Botanical isn’t really considered “near” as it’s a seven hour drive, but it’s mostly a scenic route so the drive isn’t too bad. Connie and Pai are on a bit of a break now that things have slowed down on their end and Xiang happened to have a few extra tickets when the tour extended. So they invited us since we were kinda close by, which works out because not too long after we got the weather advisory for the winter storm

I mentioned to Connie that Sophea and Shinobu had visited earlier and they were kinda disappointed that they missed them. Now that I think about it, the camp’s sorta becoming an unofficial meet up place for Connie and their team. Location wise it’s kinda inconvenient because it’s so out of the way for everyone but they come here to chill not work so it’s fine. I have yet to meet more of Connie’s recruits from Adrikha so we’re working on planning something to get them together. With Connie’s team getting bigger and more spread out, the camp seems to serve as a good way to get almost everyone in one place and get to know each other better. I feel honored to be able to help Connie and Pai bring their friends together!

The concert at Royal Botanical was awesome! Ying and Hua killed it on stage - it’s no wonder why their tour was extended twice. My top favorite song - it’s so hard to choose - is Night Memories because the orchestra really elevates the song in the album while the stripped down arrangement live puts more emphasis on the lyrics. It also happens to be one of the duo’s most personal song so there’s a lot of emotion behind it and I think that’s why it really sticks out to me. Something about being aware of the passage of time hits hard, especially when confronted by childhood memories of a past that no longer exists except in faded remnants.

I kinda want them to release a live version of Moon and Stars Intertwined just so I can listen to that version of Night Memories on repeat. I would also love to hear how their other songs would sound with a different arrangement. Also, Ying and Hua are more performers than recording artists so they totally would be able to pull it off.

After a busy tour, Ying and Hua have been looking forward to some well deserved rest before going back out on the road again. Xiang has been tagging along with them on and off for the past few weeks.

Ying said her parents attended one of their concerts, which was a nice surprise. She mentioned that her parents have been slowly coming around and being open to her music. Things obviously aren’t perfect but they’re trying to meet up in the middle and it’s going all right - could be better, could’ve been worse, the usual.

One of the songs in the album, Nothing Much, is the one that got Ying and her parents to open up to each other. Ying initially wrote the song not too long after being diagnosed with ADHD, something that caused conflict between her family. The song is kinda a vent on how certain people close to you try to deny certain parts of you that they don’t like. While her parents have sorta accepted her being neurodivergent, there’s some family members who aren’t as tolerant.

It’s the whole we’d rather think of you as dumb and incompetent rather than someone with a disability that affects their day to day life. And they wonder why we refuse to open up to them about certain things, even if it means suffering in silence. It’s that fear that people will only accept you if you are a certain way so you try to force yourself to fit in their standards only to constantly fall short of them. The song is about confronting those fears and doubts and learning how to find your footing once you release yourself from these arbitrary expectations.

At this point what’s done is done and if they refuse to respect her for who she is, then she won’t bother and just get on with her life. That’s all you can do really, block out those voices who try to cut you down and focus on yourself. From experience, living out of spite helps because what better way to prove that you’re doing your best than to stick it up to those who constantly criticize everything about you? If they keep trying to poke holes and finding something to be mad about, that’s their problem, not mine.

I’m glad that Ying’s getting along better with her parents, mainly her mother, she says. Her bisexuality is another thing they’re slowly accepting too, but is causing a rift with extended family. Her mother in particular has become kinda overprotective when the homophobic relatives step out of line. On the other hand, her father is the kind of person who’s like I won’t be a dick about it but I hope this is just some phase you’ll get over with once you come to your senses because I refuse to fully accept it kind of thing. She says her mother’s always been more open in general while her father leans more conservative so that has caused some problems in the past.

Hua and Xiang say they’ve been lucky to grow up with parents who are more accepting, though things aren’t always easy with them either. Hua says the elders she’s with can be a bit stiff and too old fashioned but they try their best to keep an open mind and be receptive to changes. Some didn’t like the fact that she hangs out with Xiang and Ying and even tried to interfere with their friendships but they were set straight by the others.

Why can’t some people mind their own damn business and let us live our lives? It’s exhausting constantly walking on eggshells around certain people who are involved in most of our lives and have some authority over us to some degree but sometimes you just have to pull through. If you’re lucky then you can hopefully reach a point where you can safely distance yourself from them.

Moon and Stars Intertwined serves as a milestone for Ying and Hua in many ways. Aside from it being a dream project for the couple, it was an eye opening one that kinda serves as a snapshot of their lives at this moment. Part of the reason why the album came together so quickly was because it was personal, thoughts and emotions that have been left unsaid until expressed through music, they said. I can see how much they put into this album and that makes me appreciate it even more.

As for a follow up album, that’s definitely in the cards. There’s no set plans yet but they’re already working on some things that’ll hopefully come to fruition. Although they already set a pretty high bar, I don’t think that’ll be a problem. They don’t need to go above and beyond, just expanding on what they already established is more than good enough.

After the amazing concert we hung around Royal Botanical for a day before heading to the camp. We would’ve stayed a little longer if it wasn’t for the impending storm. Royal Botanical looks like a huge place and the gardens would’ve been worth exploring if we came a couple months later. Maybe one day I’ll go back up there when the gardens open up. I’m sure I can find some inspiration for garden related events as I’ve run a little dry on those.

We mostly stuck around a shopping area that had a huge Asian store so we were able to stock up on food. Xiang suggested that we make dumplings so we got a bunch of ingredients for that. The store also has a huge selection of teas, watermelon being a popular specialty there, so we got a bunch to try. Next door was a record store so I browsed around there a bit and bought some albums.

The drive back to the camp went smoothly as we avoided the impending traffic that would come right before the storm. While I’m disappointed that we didn’t get to see much of the city, we didn’t want to risk getting stuck on the road. It was a bit close but we made it back just in time.

Today has been chill since we’re still tired from being on the road all day. So we’ve got the record player on while enjoying watermelon tea and making dumplings.

As expected, Xiang has a bunch of new recipes she wanted us to test out. We tried out a couple and they turned out good. There’s a couple that we haven’t tried out yet and they seem questionable. While Xiang’s creations tend to be a hit or miss - usually the former thankfully but when she misses, it’s a class of its own - I appreciate her creativity. Sure, some of her ideas are way out there, but I like how far she’s willing to go - as long as it’s within reasonable limits. As far as I know, she hasn’t accidentally killed anyone - poisoned maybe but nothing fatal I hope.

(Maybe I shouldn’t have jinxed myself…)

I’ll admit, I was a bit skeptical about the watermelon tea at first. I mean I’ve had watermelon oat milk boba and that’s good. I think the green tea blend goes well with the watermelon, providing a nice balance of flavors. Add some honey and a splash of oat milk and it makes for a perfect drink to combat the winter chill.

To pass the time, we’ve been making loads of dumplings. It seems like the general consensus is that we like our dumplings pan fried with a crispy cornstarch skirt. We also set aside some dumplings for soup, which is also essential for winter weather. We’ve also set aside some broth to make soup dumplings tomorrow. I think today we’ve made five different fillings - two being Xiang originals.

There’s something about food that brings people together. I feel like it’s such an Asian thing to gather ‘round the table making dumplings. It brings back memories when me and my sister would help our mom make dumplings. Pippa and Almie recalled making wontons with their grandma when they were little. Daisy Jane and Ying had their share of helping with cooking during family cookouts and holidays. Hua saying that one of the many ways she and the elders bond is through food prep. Connie and Pai also mentioned that they often spend their downtime together cooking - Xiang made the right call by suggesting we make dumplings.

One of the dumplings is an original from Xiang’s mother, one that she spent the past couple years trying to recreate as there’s no written recipe. She had mentioned that she learned how to cook from her father, who owns a restaurant and has always been her biggest supporter. Her mother died when she was young so she doesn’t have a lot of memories of her. One of the few things that stuck to Xiang’s memories was some of her mother’s recipes, some she was able to recreate, others she’s still working on. It was a big moment for her when she was finally able to get the recipe just right. To live on in someone’s memories through food, it’s no wonder why Xiang’s so passionate about cooking.

Even though we’ve made a lot of dumplings, I’m nowhere near tired of them. Snow falling from the sky, vinyl records playing in the background, a warm glow from the fireplace lighting up the room while we bond over memories of food and family - it’s like a song straight out of Moon and Stars Intertwined.

Read on AO3

#animal crossing #animal crossing pocket camp #Diary of a Junebug #headcanon ramble

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downwiththeficness · 2 years

Text

The Guarantor-Chapter 15

Summary: Frankie went to work every day knowing that there would be an end. A deadline. Reconnecting with her adoptive father, Godric, throws that deadline into question. Teaming up with Godric’s child, Eric, obliterates it entirely. With an uncertain future ahead, Frankie has to learn if she can trust the people around her, let alone herself. Eric Northman/Bisexual!Fem!OC

Word Count: ~4,300

Warnings: Blood Drinking

A/N: This fic is explicit for canon-compliant blood, gore, violence, and sex. As such, it is intended for an adult audience, only. Anyone under the age of 18 should not interact with this work. I do not consent to reposting this work to other platforms. Reblog only to Tumblr.

Start from the Beginning Previous Chapter Next Chapter

Read on AO3 Masterlist

For a day or two, Frankie could take her mind off things by making concerted attempts to get her shit together. After living by herself for so long, suddenly being a twenty four hour a day guest was off-putting. As grateful as she was that she had a roof over her head, Frankie was already beginning to feel stifled.

She figured out pretty quickly that Shreveport was not the city and she would have to get a car if she wanted to go anywhere. Frankie had a small stash of money she’d saved that could be used for a down payment on something reliable. But, it became apparent to her pretty damn quick that she needed to find a job.

Knowing that she wouldn’t have professional references, she applied at every store in the closest strip mall, going door to door and filling out applications. It was the only strategy she could think of to get a job quickly, but felt fruitless at the end of the day. She hoped she would get an interview or two and a steady paycheck wouldn’t be far behind.

When she was active and working on a goal, it was easy to pretend everything she’d left behind in Jersey wasn’t there. But, in quiet moments like taking a shower and the time before bed, Frankie dwelled. Eventually, she got sick of it and made a call.

That was how she ended up at a little coffee shop sitting across from Carissa. They made small talk about Carissa’s new apartment and commiserated together about the slow grind of job seeking. Frankie was impressed by how long she took to get around to talking about the thing that tied them together.

Knowing that the topic was fraught with danger, Frankie broached it with careful words, “Masha called me.”

Carissa’s brows lifted, “Yeah? She called me, too.”

“Really?”

“Really,” Carissa confirmed as she added a little honey to her hot tea, “She threaten you, too?”

Frankie’s mouth opened, hanging for a second before she said, “Kind of.”

Carissa nodded, cradling the mug close to her chest, “She wanted me to convince you to come back. I told her that we weren’t that close—no offense—that you weren’t going to listen to me.”

Waving away the unintended insult, Frankie replied, “You’re right. You wouldn’t be able to convince me to go back. The longer I stay down here, the more I know that I made the right decision.”

“Same,” Carissa said, “She offered me money, lots of it. Like, some kind of finder’s fee.”

Frankie cast her a wary look, “She wanted to pay you to make me work for her again?”

Carissa laughed as she set down her cup, “Frankie, she doesn’t want you to come back and work for her. She wants you to come back as her girlfriend.”

Frankie could hear the silent ‘duh’ at the end of Carissa’s sentence, “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh,” Carissa mimicked, “I gotta tell you, that is some red flag behavior.”

“No kidding,” Frankie murmured.

On one hand, Masha had brought up getting back together several times over the last few months. On the other, she’d tried to leverage the contract against Frankie, which was mostly about running money between family businesses. Frankie would be lying to herself if she said that she didn’t know exactly what Masha’s endgame was. And yet, there was a small, hopeful part of her that wanted Masha to be as over their relationship as Frankie was. There was no salvaging it. The thing was well and truly dead.

“So,” Carissa said, her tone clearly indicating a change in subject, “You didn’t tell me about the people you’re staying with.”

“Oh, man,” Frankie responded, “I’m sorry. It completely slipped my mind.”

Shrugging, Carissa’s voice was genuine as she said, “I didn’t mean to be rude the other night. I was just surprised.”

“I know. Nobody took any offense, believe me.”

Carissa went on, “Its not my first time being with...it just took me off guard.”

“Oh?” Frankie said, her voice tilting upwards in interest.

“I mean,” Carissa continued, taking a sip of tea, “I knew that Masha had been turned—its actually how I got out of my contract.”

This was the first time Frankie had ever heard about someone getting out of a family contract. No one ever addressed it directly, but she’d always heard that the only way out was to either finish your time or to be on the receiving end of a cross bow.

Frankie pulled back a little, “How?”

She shrugged, “I just had to feed her a couple times. She was newborn, you know? Weak. So, she traded nullifying my contract for a couple meals.”

Once again, Frankie was a hypocrite for feeling no small amount of disgust as she pictured Masha feeding from Carissa. She looked down at her slowly cooling coffee, thumb tracing the edge of the mug.

“That’s resourceful of you,” Frankie said, after a moment.

“I’m a resourceful girl,” Carissa preened. “So, what’s it like?”

Humming in question, Frankie contemplated getting a second coffee just to warm up the first.

“Living with them.”

“Oh,” Frankie said when realization dawned, “I mean, Godric kind of raised me so its not as weird at you’d think.”

Carissa’s eyes widened in interest, “I have to hear this story. Tell you what, I’ll buy you another coffee if you spill the details.”

Persuaded by the offer of hot caffeine, Frankie relayed some of the details of her childhood. She talked about thinking that staying awake all night was normal until the age of nine, about how Godric would watch hours of The Food Network as he tried to figure out the healthiest meals for a small child. She skimmed over her bio father, and how much it hurt to go to the foster family, if only because she didn’t want to cry (again).

“Holy shit,” Carissa said, when Frankie finished, “That’s a lot.”

“I know.”

“I kind of feel bad.”

“Nah, don’t,” Frankie said with a shake of her head, “I would’ve stayed with him forever if he’d let me.”

Frankie wasn’t afraid to admit it to herself that she had contemplated asking Godric to turn her a couple times over the years. Back and forth, she’d wavered over the decision, knowing that she would ask him, eventually. Not even Masha’s change and all the complications that came along with that moved her to think otherwise.

Carissa and Frankie said their goodbyes on the sidewalk outside of Eric’s house. Once again, Carissa demurred the invitation inside. Frankie, as before, didn’t take offense. If her latest interaction with vampires had been Masha, even Frankie would be skittish.

Later, as Frankie was putting a load of laundry in the dryer, she yelped as the wall of the fucking laundry room opened up. Stumbling back towards the door, she let out a harsh breath as Eric walked forward, closing it behind him. The wall slid shut seamlessly, perfectly hiding what Frankie assumed was his sleeping place.

“Okay, I might as well know that’s there,” Frankie mumbled as she strode away with the basket on her hip.

“Can’t be too careful,” Eric called after her.

Tempted as she was to flip him off on the way to the kitchen, Frankie managed to control herself, “Sleep well?”

“Like the dead,” he intoned, following her, “I’ve been meaning to ask: How are you settling in?”

Frankie was immediately suspicious of the courtesy, but was not canny enough to discern the motive underneath.

“I’m settling in fine,” she said, looking over her shoulder, “Thank you for letting me stay. Don’t worry, I’ll be out of your hair soon. I’ve got some interviews lined up and after a few paychecks, I can get a place somewhere.”

This seemed to take him back, “My hospitality must be terrible if you want to go so quickly.”

Setting down the basket on the island and opening up the fridge, Frankie pulled out a container of leftovers. She smiled at him from over the edge of the door, “Your hospitality is fine. I just...want to get started on my new life.”

On the drive down, Frankie just knew she was going to feel anxious and scared and helpless the second she stepped into Eric’s house. She knew that rebuilding everything she’d left behind was going to leave her exhausted and resentful of her own decisions. But, when she got up from the bed Godric made for her that first morning, Frankie didn’t feel any of those things.

There were so many choices in front of her, so many little paths that she could take. And, for the first time in what seemed like forever, Frankie could actually make those choices. She didn’t have to consider her obligations to the family or what anyone else might think. The only person Frankie had to please was Frankie, and that felt amazing.

Eric slid onto a barstool and watched her pop the container in the microwave, “And, what do you plan to do with your new life?”

Frankie shrugged, “As little as I have to.”

Her end goal was to work however many hours it took to pay the bills and spend every other minute enjoying whatever the fuck she wanted to—rinse and repeat.

“I did that for about a century,” Eric said with half a smile, “It was a nice vacation.”

“Oh yeah? How’d that turn out for you?”

One shoulder rolling upwards, he answered, “It was nice, until it got boring.”

Gasping dramatically, Frankie put the back of her hand over her forehead, “Oh, God forbid things ever get boring.”

Eric laughed a little reluctantly, “It did get boring, after a while.”

“A whole century of fucking off,” Frankie teased, “You poor thing.” Then, “What did you do after that?”

“I became Sheriff,” he said, his tone touched with mourning.

The microwave beeped.

Frankie carefully cradled the Tupperware to her chest, pulling open a drawer and plucking out a fork before closing it with her hip.

“You sound like you regret that decision,” she commented casually as she forked a bit of food into her mouth.

Another roll of his shoulder, “It has its benefits.”

“Enough to relieve you of your boredom?”

“Not at all,” he replied with a reluctant laugh, “I have to find my fun on my own.”

Frankie could imagine what kind of ‘fun’ Eric could get up to, especially when he had both the time and the resources to do whatever he wanted. She found herself more than a little curious to hear some of his stories.

“Like partnering with a random human to kill off members of a crime family?”

His expression turned smug, “Just so.”

“Glad I could be so entertaining,” she muttered, stabbing another chunk with the fork.

Eric’s expression was wide open as he said, “I have a feeling you’ll be a source of amusement for a long time.”

Offended by the tease in his tone, Frankie mock-glared, “If I thought I’d win the fight, I’d stab you with this fork.”

“It’ll take more than that to put me on my back.”

“Oh, I know. I know.”

He shifted in his seat, “I’ll return the favor, then.” When Frankie lifted her brows at him, he continued, “Come with me to work tonight.”

She chewed thoughtfully, “You sure that’s a good idea?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“I’m human and you work at a vampire bar, Eric.”

Face falling into an exaggerated frown, Eric’s voice turned very serious, “That is a problem.”

Throwing the Tupperware into the sink and running water into it, Frankie cast him a sarcastic look, “A problem for which I’m sure you have a solution.”

“I do, indeed,” he replied, as if they were sharing a particularly juicy piece of gossip.

Turning, Frankie crossed her arms and prompted, “Alright. Out with it. What’s your solution?”

Eric lifted a brow, tone cloying, “So, you want to go, then?”

“Seriously, Eric. Out with it. What do you want?”

He laughed, knowing she’d clocked him. The way he stood from the bar stool and sidled up to her told Frankie that he was going to play the game a little while longer. She’d already made the decision to let him.

“Its simple,” Eric said, with confidence, “We just have to show everyone that you’re off the menu.”

The closer he got, the more Frankie had to tilt her head back to look at him, “How do we do that?”

“Easy,” Eric answered, “Scent.”

She followed his line of thought to its obvious conclusion, “You want me to smell like you.”

He smiled, proud, “Exactly.”

“And, how do we do that?”

Fingers touching her chin, Eric replied in a low voice, “I’ll give you a bit of my blood. It won’t take much.”

The contact between his skin and hers vibrated, like static. Frankie forgot that she wasn’t supposed to look him in the eyes, struck by the way the kitchen light cut through the blue of his irises. They glowed, his pupils widening as he waited for her response.

Wanting to break the strange tension that was blooming all around her, Frankie tried to joke, “That’s a change of pace. Its usually the other way around.”

One side of his mouth twitched, as if he wanted to laugh, but wouldn’t let himself, “Absolutely. We’ll do that another time, when I need to be in the sun again.”

Setting aside the utter arrogance it took for him to make that assumption, Frankie broke from his gaze and thought about it. She had been there for over a week and hadn’t done anything that wasn’t directly related to getting a job, getting a car, or getting a new apartment. Maybe it was time to relax a little bit, get a jump start on the new life she had just boasted about.

“Alright,” she said, finally, “I’m game.”

Eric’s expression was victorious, “Perfect. Is now good? I’d give you more time, but I’ve got a meeting before we open.”

A little dazed, Frankie watched as he took her silence for acquiescence and brought his wrist to his mouth. The sound of flesh tearing was both familiar and utterly strange. Without a shred of hesitation, he guided her to the wound, fingers massaging her throat gently.

She had to close her eyes as she swallowed, her brow furrowing as she concentrated. The smell of jasmine filled her nose, copper coating her tongue. She could feel his blood zinging through her body in a way that hadn’t happened with Godric. With no wounds to heal, no damaged senses to repair, it did what vampire blood would normally do.

It was like adrenaline.

Like ten thousand cups of coffee.

Frankie pulled away, hand covering her mouth as she tried to get her bearings. The counter top bit into her hip, her balance held precariously in Eric’s hands as he steadied her. Her eyes remained shut for long seconds as she struggled with her own body.

“Take a second to breathe,” he murmured into her hair, “It’ll pass.”

The lights were too bright, the paint on the walls reflecting like a prism. She could feel the air conditioner humming so hard that her bones vibrated. Dust motes sailed past her, water dripped too loudly into the sink.

“I hate this,” she grumbled, blinking quickly.

Eric ran his hand over her back, “You’d be the first.”

“That can’t be true,” Frankie shot back as she got her feet beneath her. “I feel like I’m going to come out of my skin.”

Holding her hip, Eric touched her chin again, turning her face back and forth with concern in his eyes, “That’s normal. It will level out in a bit. You should get changed.”

He was too close. His body was too close, surrounding her. Frankie shivered as she stared at him, noted every hair that was slicked back from his forehead. Her mind flashed back to the way they stood just like this under the spray of Anton’s shower. She almost wished she’d been in a better state to appreciate him, the way she could at this moment.

Frankie squinted up at him, distracted by the way his touch burned when it should be cold, “What?”

Eyes dropping down her body, he said, “You’re not dressed for the bar. Go get cleaned up. We’ll leave in fifteen.”

Frankie had little in the way of club wear, but she put on a pair of dark jeans and a satin tank top that had a little lace detail at the neckline. Carrying her sandals under her arm, she stuffed her ID, card, and some cash into a small wristlet before heading down the stairs.

He was right. The worst of it did pass within a few minutes. What was left was not something Frankie could describe. She felt...strong, healthy, eager—felt twenty years old again, before anything bad had ever happened to her. It wouldn’t last—Frankie kept telling herself that it wouldn’t last. This feeling could be enjoyed, but she couldn’t let herself think that this was real life.

Eric looked up from where he was texting on the couch, “You’ve still got three minutes.”

Frankie raised a brow at him, “Are you saying I need to go back upstairs and change?”

She plopped down on the couch next to him, pulling her sandals onto her feet. He was nervous. She could feel it. Frankie would never be able to pinpoint what, exactly, had led her to the conclusion, but every molecule in her body was telling her that the person beside her was riddled with anxiety.

“No,” he said as he tucked his phone away, “You’re fine.” Then, “Ready?”

“Yup!” Frankie chirped, taking the hand he offered to help her up.

Eric put a hand to her back to guide her out the door and to the a familiar set of wheels.

“Did you drive this all the way here?” Frankie asked as she opened the passenger door.

Casting her a baleful glance, Eric walked around the car, “I had it shipped.”

“They ship cars?” was her follow up question as she dropped into the seat and closed the door behind her.

“They do, if you can afford it,” he bragged as the engine turned over.

Fangtasia was out in the middle of nowhere, a bright spot of neon nestled into BFE. The parking lot was nearly empty as they pulled in, but the lights were on. A velvet rope lined the sidewalk, its posts nearly glowing against the darkness around them. There were only a few lights in the lot, the lined concrete stretching out dimly in every direction.

The side of the building was equally, if not more, dark. Frankie stepped out of the car, her attention turned towards the back, where a large dumpster sat unusually far away. Even from the distance, she could smell it.

Trying not to breathe too deeply, she followed Eric to the front door and into the bar. Frankie had been inside empty bars before, having dropped off countless deposits during the off hours. The empty Fantasia felt like a liminal space, an in-between. She could see the effort in its design to make it attractive to people who just wanted to have a good time—a well stocked bar, a dance floor, lots of little nooks and crannies to get lost in.

What Frankie could also see was the very specific way the place was laid out. The bar to her right, the dance floor to her left. Beyond that was a set of stairs leading up to an elegant chair. It was the lone piece of furniture on the raised stage—a throne, if she’d ever seen one.

She must have dawdled a little too long, because Eric’s hand was suddenly in hers, pulling her across the dance floor. Like before, the touch of his skin felt like static, a little zing that wormed its way beneath her skin. He looked down at her in surprised before quickly covering it and letting go of her casually. She followed him through to the other side of the bar and into an office.

It had seen better days. Or, more likely, no one had taken the care to update it. Tile that would have been white at one time reflected dully under the overhead lights. A desk that was covered in papers took up most of the space along one wall. Eric sat behind it, tapping a keyboard to wake up his computer.

Frankie sat on a love seat near the side wall, forgoing the two wooden chairs behind the desk, “I thought you said you had a meeting.”

“I do,” he replied, fingers flying across the keyboard, “We’re a little early.”

“Oh.”

He paused, eyes flicking to her, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” she said a little too quickly, not sure what to do with her hands.

Frankie was not alright. Her hands were shaking, her mind buzzing. Keen eyes watched her fidget until Frankie had to look away. In her periphery, she saw him rise from the desk and begin a slow walk towards her.

He sat, reaching over to grasp her chin. The touch was too much, all heat and frisson. Frankie turned her face so that he would let go, which he did. She couldn’t keep the shudder from rolling over her in waves.

“Should I take you home?”

Frankie debated it, “No. No, I’m fine.”

“Liar.”

She felt herself give an involuntary laugh as she nodded, turning her gaze to him, “Asshole.”

“True,” he replied with an easy grin.

Frankie sighed and took a calming breath, meeting his eyes as she said, “Is this what its like for you?”

His mouth thinned as he thought about it, “I imagine it is. Are you overwhelmed?”

She nodded.

“Then, I would say its much the same.”

Frankie looked briefly at her hands. They were folded tightly together, her thumb pressed into the center of the opposite palm, “How do you manage it?”

Eric mirrored her, hands in his lap, “I didn’t, at least not that first night. It got easier the more times I fed from you.”

She shifted on the cushion, unsure if she wanted to say what she was thinking. The world was too bright, her skin pulled taut over a body that didn’t seem to be the same size, anymore.

Head cocking to the side, he regarded her with sympathy, “First time is always the hardest.”

“That’s a lovely sentiment,” Frankie deadpanned, “Really.”

He scoffed, “You’re so hateful.”

She closed her eyes, chin dropping towards her chest, “Yes, sorry. I’m being rude.”

“You’re forgiven,” Eric pronounced magnanimously.

The door swung open and a willowy blonde walked through in stiletto heels and a sleek, tailored suit. Heels clicking, she came to a stop in front of them. Hands on her hips, she looked down her nose, saying, “What was so important that you had to call me in before we’re even open for the night?”

“Pam,” he greeted, “I’d like you to meet someone.”

Frankie watched Pam’s attention turn from Eric. Her face, already half a sneer, tightened further, “I don’t have time to meet every one of your fuck buddies.”

A laugh bubbled up out of Frankie against her will. She quickly covered her mouth with one hand, but couldn’t keep her lips from smiling.

Pam’s sneer hardened into disgust, but she said nothing as her eyes cut to her Maker. Eric, for his part, had relaxed against the back of the couch, his mouth fixed in a smug little grin.

After half a moment of silence, Pam’s weight shifted and she crossed her arms with an arched brow, “Alright. I’ll bite. Who is this?”

Eric dropped a heavy hand onto Frankie’s arm, “This is one of Godric’s children. Frankie, Pam. Pam, Frankie.”

Frankie had the pleasure of watching Pam grow first confused, then suspicious, “She’s human.”

“I’m adopted,” Frankie said, unprompted.

“Clearly,” Pam drawled, looking her over.

Frankie had been assessed by other women many times in her life. Usually, she could withstand just about any scrutiny. Pam, though, was someone who embodied a kind of intimidation and poise that made Frankie want to meet her expectations.

“Guess that makes us all bosom buddies, then,” was out of Frankie’s mouth so fast that she couldn’t do anything but clack her teeth shut and wait for whatever would come next.

Beside her, Eric let a laugh that started as surprise before morphing into real amusement. Frankie looked over at him, gratified by the sparkle in his eyes. The laugh died to a giggle that he hid behind his hand.

Pam’s eyes narrowed, but the sides of her mouth tensed as she held back her own reaction. Her Maker leaned over and nudged Frankie’s shoulder. They shared a conspiratorial glance, which made Pam scoff.

“Is meeting the...bosom buddy the whole reason you brought me in?”

Eric’s face sobered, “No, but its a nice bonus. I wanted to ask you about the visit we got two days ago.”

Pam’s eyes lit with recognition, “Ah. Agent Mercer.”

Frankie felt the walls of the room squeeze around her, leaving her dizzy. She looked between Pam and Eric, traveling up the coastline to sit squarely in New Jersey once more.

“Agent Mercer visited you?” she croaked.

Pam nodded, unhappy, “Real piece of work.”

“Yeah, I know,” Frankie replied, “Ah, fuck, I’m sorry about that.”

Rolling her eyes, Pam dropped her crossed arms, “You should be. Complete waste of an hour I could have been fucking the new waitress.”

A bit flustered by the admission, Frankie tried to apologize again. She only succeeded in stumbling over her words. Eric, taking pity on her, put his hand over her mouth to shut her up.

He looked at Pam, “Tell us everything.”

#The Guarantor #True Blood #Eric Northman #vampires #AU

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