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s-brant · 3 years

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Cherry Bowl (3/8)

(gif: @kiekiecarrera) (PART TWO) (PART FOUR) (SERIES MASTERLIST)

Summary: When Kie cancels their plans together, Y/N asks JJ on a date to the Cherry Bowl Drive-In. Unsure of how to navigate his first ever date, JJ seeks out advice. Unfortunately, the night doesn’t go as planned, and both parties are left shaken by miscommunication.

Word Count: 10.6k

Warnings: Smut, public sex/exhibitionism, sexual choking, angst, depictions of mental illness, post-traumatic stress disorder, and implied/referenced abuse.

A/N: Welcome back to Tokens! Slight trouble in paradise is brewing for these two lovers, so buckle up and read because it’s gonna be a rollercoster for a little while after what happens in this chapter. I hope you all like it, and if you did, feedback is very appreciated. Have fun!

"I'm just saying that oatmeal raisin is superior to chocolate chip, why is that such an egregious crime, Kie?"

The lunch room is filled to the brim with students going to town on questionably cooked frozen foods, soggy tater tots, and sugary drinks from the vending machines despite the Obama-era posters on the walls advocating for healthier school lunches that never seemed to make their way to Kildare County High. The extent of their healthy lunches extended to a serving of overcooked canned green beans served with the worst slice of doughy pizza known to human kind, so it was sort of contradictory.

Y/N sits across the table from Pope and JJ, the latter of which being the one who launched into a full-fledged debate with Kiara about which type of cookie was better.

The clear cling wrap sits, unfolded, on the table with one of her stickers neatly placed on the back of it. As consolation for his epic loss yesterday at the beach, she paid an extra .75 cents to get him it when she arrived first to their shared lunch period—one of only two class periods they have together, the other being gym. He was still in line when she peeled a surfboard sticker off of her sheet and placed it at the center of the wrapped up cookie as if to remind him of her triumph over him in the waves.

"Thanks, hot stuff," he said, voice somewhat quieter despite the fact that hardly anyone was in the cafeteria with them. Then his smile dropped into an deadpan expression as soon as he saw her choice of sticker and looked back up at her. "You're never gonna let me live that one down, are you?"

"Never in a million years. I'll be gloating about it until I'm elderly."

"That's my girl."

The sound of the constant chatter surrounding them from at least two hundred other people drowns out the memories of yesterday that threaten to haunt her when she watches him debate with Kie. The mere recollection of their night in the back of the van has her reaching to pull the collar of her cropped tee up to assure that the hickeys remain hidden on instinct, and he catches the action out of the corner of his eye. It has him fighting a smile.

Kie quips, "Maybe on another planet, but, here, I think we can all agree chocolate chip is better, right Y/N?"

Y/N's eyes widen around a forkful of mushy "green beans" at the sound of her name being said bringing her from the depths of her memories.

Usually, she's quick to jump in and give her two cents on whatever stupid back and forth they're all having, but her mind was elsewhere. Unbeknownst to Kie and Pope, she was mentally reliving every second of getting fucked in the van last night, so her attention to detail when it comes to the Chocolate Chip vs Oatmeal Raisin case isn't all too sharp.

"Uhhh," she stops for a second, looking at the half eaten chocolate chip cookie in Kie's hand, "If I say chocolate chip is better, can I get a piece of it?"

Kie's face lights up at her words, and she's already pulling off a generous chunk of the baked good to hand off to her. The sound of a certain someone whose lap Y/N's legs are outstretched onto from beneath the table scoffing distracts her from the first bite.

"I know you prefer oatmeal raisin, you traitor," JJ says.

Their brunette friend's brows scrunch.

"Why is she a traitor?"

They try to keep from making any faces or giving anything away, but Y/N has to stifle the sound of her choking on her mouthful of cookie at the question. You'd think one of them came out and asked if they were dating or something with how she reacts, and she feels JJ squeeze her ankle in a non-verbal way of telling her to hold it together. It was her idea in the first place, yet he's a lot smoother with keeping it under the radar.

Under it all, the aspect of keeping it a secret does unnerve him to a degree. He doesn't think he'd be brave enough to communicate it, especially not when their relationship remains undefined, but the darker side of his mind wonders...

He shrugs, saying, "Cause we were friends first. Duh. Other than John B, I've known her the longest."

None of them stop to acknowledge the identical aches in their hearts at the mentioning of his name. They skip right over it like it never happened. After the funeral a few days ago, they've filled their quota on mushy-gushy sad talk for the next week and a half.

The real reason is something far more complicated than him having a claim staked on her loyalty through having the longest friendship. It's something tied up in days of slowly getting pulled into one another's worlds like the tug of gravity itself, in how he has to refrain from slipping his arm around her waist in the hallway or kissing her goodbye after a sleepover at the Chateau. But until she gives him the go-ahead, he won't let it slip to anyone.

Pope speaks up from beside him, "You literally met her twenty minutes before we did."

"Still counts. Technically, I did meet her first, so her betraying Team Oatmeal Raisin is enough to be tried for treason in Pogue Court."

"Pogue Court isn't a thing."

He crosses his arms after he pops the rest of the cookie into his mouth.

"It is now. You can be tried for treason for breaking the rules. Rule number one is that all Pogues have to admit oatmeal raisin is superior."

He's about to ball up the cling wrap to throw away later when the surfboard sticker catches his attention again. It's the same color as his board, which he'd like to think is a result of her being an evil mastermind that went out to get this sticker sheet for the sole purpose of teasing him, but he's the one who got her the sheet as a gift for her birthday, so he knows it was pure coincidence.

Last second, he peels the sticker away from the cling wrap and looks down to place it over the top of her yellow converse that were once a vibrant, paler color when Big John got them for her, but have since turned into an ugly mustard/dirt-dusted color they heckle her over.

"What are the other rules?" Y/N asks.

One of the hands holding onto where her feet are casually planted in his lap, something that they've done long enough that their friends won't see it as anything odd, slides down to caress the stretch of skin beneath the frayed hem of her dark jeans. Something she didn't know about him before whatever it is they have together started was that he constantly needs to be touching her. She can't say she doesn't love it though.

Pope answers, "The oatmeal raisin rule is not official"—a pointed glance at JJ—"But I'd assume the rest of the rules of Pogue Court would be no lying and no macking."

"So, basically you two break almost every rule except the oatmeal raisin one, and I lie," JJ says and turns to look at her, "How does it feel to be better than everyone, Y/N?"

"Pretty good, not gonna lie."

He keeps caressing little circles and tracing up and down her skin beneath the flared out pant leg of her jeans while he swipes his phone off of the table top without attracting the attention of their friends, who continue on to a new topic. She isn't too focused on what it is. She only picks up that it has something to do with a class they're in that's more advanced that hers, so she promptly checks out of the conversation.

Ever since John B died, she hasn't been performing too well in school. She tries, truly tries, but her mind outright refuses to absorb any of the information. When she reads her assigned reading, she hovers over the same paragraphs over and over until she shuts the book in a huff and hides it in her backpack again. Losing someone you love has a surprising amount of side effects.

Her phone buzzing in her hand brings her away from the impending cloud of doom that often accompanies any thoughts of John B, and when she taps in her passcode, her brother's birthday, a message bubble appears with a banner displaying JJ's contact name.

JJ (Derogatory) ur a good liar. prob could've fooled me if i weren't the one macking on u

Their eyes meet for a second across the table, then he watches her thumbs move to type a response.

Kief Princess Little do they know I break every rule now that I've switched sides on the cookie debate. Kinda impressive ngl.

JJ (Derogatory) triple threat, baby

JJ (Derogatory) thanks for the cookie btw

She smiles to herself, so wrapped up in their own world that she doesn't notice everyone in the room starting to pack up their stuff in anticipation of the bell that is due to ring any second now.

Kief Princess Had to repay you for last night somehow ;)

When she glances up to see his reaction, she watches his chest rise with a particularly large inhale, and he chews on the inside of his lip in thought.

JJ (Derogatory) strategically bringing up last night so i'm turned on in physics? ur an evil mastermind

Kief Princess I try.

Kief Princess Apparently whooping your sorry ass at surfing isn't the only thing I'm good at.

She hears him scoff.

JJ (Derogatory) first of all, ouch. second, u barely beat me

Kief Princess I'm happy to challenge you to a rematch. I have plans with Kie tonight, so I can't till this weekend. All it'll prove is that I am the rightful winner, but we knew that already.

JJ (Derogatory) what r the stakes this time

Kief Princess No sexual favors. If you beat me (fat chance) I'll formally rejoin team oatmeal raisin.

JJ (Derogatory) :( sex makes it more fun but i still accept those conditions

JJ (Derogatory) team oatmeal raisin needs u, even if ur a traitor

Kief Princess Why bet sexual favors if you're just gonna fuck me after anyway?

JJ (Derogatory) good point

The sound of the bell ringing echoes through the cafeteria, and they both pop their heads up from their phone screens to see everyone, including Pope and Kie, already packed up and raising from their seats to scurry off in the direction of their next classes. Meanwhile, their stuff is all bestrewn across the table, particularly JJ's belongings.

The sight of Kie walking away makes Y/N ask after her, "We're still on for tonight, right?

She stops with Pope's hand interwoven in hers. The look on her face when she turns would make you think she got caught doing something she wasn't meant to. Something like forgetting about the plans they made last week to watch Fear Street together. The Cherry Bowl Drive-In is premiering the first two movies as a double feature for the horror movie buffs of Kildare, so they decided to get tickets. Kiara shares a fondness of horror movies with her. Since gory movies make the boys squirm, though JJ pretends they don't, it's their own thing.

"Actually, Pope and I were gonna go to the beach. I'm sorry."

JJ knows she's more upset about it than she lets on, but Y/N simply gives the pair a smile that doesn't reach the eyes.

The sound of JJ behind her makes them laugh on their way out, diffusing the minor tension lingering in the air from the awkward encounter, "Use protection!"

After their friends offer them a goodbye, they gather their stuff quite leisurely, not really caring about being late.

It's something they've talked about before here or there: her feelings surrounding Kiara and Pope's sudden relationship. It's not as if she harbors any ill feelings for them, she doesn't, but the ripple effects of their pairing on the group, and more importantly the girls' own friendship, couldn't be clearer from her perspective. Between the missed hangouts, forgotten plans, and the convenient way she never seems to have time to hang out with her and JJ unless Pope is there too, it's been building up for a month now.

What makes it sting the most is how close her and Kie used to be. They didn't hit it off immediately the way she and JJ did as children until her thirteenth birthday when no one she invited showed up to the party Big John helped her set up in the yard of the Chateau.

She was the one who rallied the boys together to walk to ask their school friends from the year above to come hang out for an hour or two, promising a slice of the wonky-looking but delicious strawberry cake her and John B spent the morning crafting together. She can remember the sound of their high-pitched laughs and the cloud of flour that hung in the kitchen when they high-fived over the finished product like it was yesterday. In her heart, it was yesterday.

That night was when she fell in love with her friends, and that was when she first knew Kiara was her best friend. They wove friendship bracelets on each other that night and wore them for years until they withered away. No one had ever done something like that for her before. Not even JJ.

"You okay?"

Feeling his hand on her arm, slipping down to take her hand for a moment in the seclusion of the empty cafeteria, makes her glance up at him with a distinct sorrow washed over her features.

You know what? Screw this. Why should she be torn up over Kie and let it ruin her excitement for the double feature tonight? There's no way in hell she's letting her best friend ditching her for her boyfriend get in the way of her plans.

"Do you wanna go on a date tonight?" she asks him abruptly, then adds, "To the Cherry Bowl with me instead of Kie?"

The question sparks a pause in his mind, a halt of hesitation in which he worries about her avoiding having to answer what he asked, but he attempts to play it cool and not fuss over her outwardly. There have been times where being treated like that has made her feel suffocated, so he doesn't want to risk it. When she's ready, she'll talk about it, and if she takes too long and buries her feelings, then he'll intervene. For now, he tries to keep his face neutral despite the frown tempting his lips at her disappointment.

JJ looks around once more before throwing his arm around her shoulder to walk her out.

"You bet your ass I do."

What is a person supposed to act like on their first date that's not actually a date cause everything between them is the same, but kinda is a date because they called it one? If you ever find out, please find JJ and tell him because he has no clue.

Pope wasn't too much help in the Instagram group chat he made for it seeing as his and Kie's relationship is too fresh, John B isn't even alive, so he's out of service for advice unless there's Ouija Board he can borrow, and, thankfully, Kiara was his savior.

Their phones began blowing up as soon as he reached his class after lunch period ended. He couldn't under any circumstances let it be known that this mystery girl he had a date with was their friend, but thankfully Y/N already had the alibi of going to the Drive-In alone. All he had to do was make up a fake date scenario and get basic advice.

danknugstickiestickies added kiara-c and popeheyward to the groupchat

danknugstickiestickies named the group HELP ME

danknugstickiestickies i have a date with this chick i met on the beach when i was out with y/n last week. i need ur advice

His phone screen lit up with the notification that both of his friends were typing, signified with the three dot symbol bouncing in the bottom left corner as he thought it through. They couldn't possibly figure it out, right? They'd been careful, he'd been respectful of her wishes, and they'd been too busy together to notice anything new with them. He figured it would work. It was a risk, sure, but it was worth it to him. He didn't want to fuck this up with her.

Knowing her, she probably wouldn’t even treat it differently than any of their other hang outs. It's not like they haven't been romantic or sexual with each other. They've done everything but go out on an actual date, so why was he nervous?

kiara-c ummmm

popeheyward Yeah, I'm gonna need you to ELABORATE!!

kiara-c did hell freeze over? since when does jj maybank go out on dates??

danknugstickiestickies renamed the group hell froze over

kiara-c very funny, I'm laughing so hard 😐

popeheyward Do we know her?

danknugstickiestickies don't think u do. she moved here last week and hasn't enrolled in school yet. her name's steph

popeheyward What about Y/N though?

kiara-c ^^

JJ's chest muscles tightened with the question prompting a rush of anxiety that made his breathing feel slightly harder. He glanced up at his Physics teacher, who was essentially dozing off behind his desk with his hand in a bag of chips and an educational video on the projector as an excuse to not teach, and looked back down at his phone without the added stress of possibly getting his phone confiscated.

Pope's message might as well have been a sucker punch. Forget butterflies, he set a wasp’s nest loose inside of his stomach to tie it into knots and flip it every which way. His neglected textbook served as a prop for his phone to lean on as he set it down to think.

Did they know? As far as he was aware, they were getting away with it. No evidence, concrete or circumstantial, was there to prove it. At least the stress of the situation killed any chance of him being turned on by her reminder of last night in their messages. This shit was boner repellant of the highest degree.

He played stupid. Better to let them volunteer whatever information they had before he went in saying anything incriminating that they didn't already know. If anything would sour the experience of their first date, it would be him accidentally making their strange in-between relationship public behind her back.

danknugstickiestickies ?? what do u mean

Three dots bounced in the bottom left corner of his slightly cracked phone screen.

popeheyward ...

kiara-c I mean, you don't see it?

danknugstickiestickies see what

popeheyward I guess we were wrong, but all of us always thought you two had some feelings going on.

"You don't say?" JJ murmured sarcastically to himself under his breath. "Never crossed my mind, Pope."

danknugstickiestickies bro that's jb's little sister

kiara-c so?

danknugstickiestickies forbidden fruit? making john b roll over in his grave? do those ring a bell or am i speaking in tongues

He was already a proficient liar in real life, but, fuck, it was easy in text messages. There's no chance at deciphering facial expression or tone, just a plain message with no room to budge. Thank God he didn't do this in person with them. He could've survived, but it wouldn't have been as quick and painless as the group chat was.

kiara-c jeez, sorry

Pope didn't voice it, but he noticed something.

He looked up from his phone and stared off at the wall in thought in his AP European History class. It piqued his interest that JJ simply said she was off limits, forbidden fruit as he put it, but did not outright deny having feelings for her. In fact, he didn't even address the question. He made excuses for why he shouldn't have feelings for her, but he never said he didn't have feelings for her.

Kie did not notice. Not because she wasn't smart enough to either, but because she was too busy hiding her phone behind her backpack to think too deeply about it. Her teacher was one of those teachers that would flip shit if they saw a cell phone turned off and faced down on the desk, let alone being used by a student during a lesson.

In his classroom across the hallway, JJ bounced his leg up and down beneath his desk in an absentminded urge to release the built up energy the anxiety produced in an over abundance.

popeheyward Our bad then. Even John B thought y'all were sus lmao.

Since when was that a known fact? Could he tell? Did he talk to Pope about him and Y/N before he died? Either way, it wasn't the time to pry about it.

kiara-c yeah you guys honestly could've fooled me if you wanted to

danknugstickiestickies well thank u, glad ur invested in our friendship but

danknugstickiestickies please help, i have no fucking clue how to act on a date and this girl is too cool for me to screw this up

That was when they finally dropped the interrogation session and started offering up tips. The best ones came from Kie, which made sense to him since women are more likely to know what other women like than two dudes who share one collective brain cell and never had real relationships.

Rule One: Be ready to pick her up five minutes early.

He wasn't ready to pick her up five minutes early. His bike broke down by the time he made it halfway down his street, so he had to push it back up the road and into the yard before setting off on foot to reach the Chateau quickly enough. And by quickly enough, it means he got there five minutes late, not early.

Rule Two: Compliment her after you get in the car.

She tossed him the keys to the Twinkie from across the hood, not giving him the chance to open the door for her, and it wasn't until they were setting off down the road that he remembered the next piece of advice he was given.

Side-eyeing her in his peripheral vision, he tried to find something to compliment her on specifically rather than the general compliments about her being pretty that she never fully believes when he says them. He was intending to say something about the skirt she had on, but when he chanced a glance over at her, she caught him and asked—

"What is it?"

Sent into panic mode, JJ blurted out instead, "I like your shoes."

He could've bashed his face against the steering wheel twenty times right then and there at the utter absence of reaction on her part for the next few uncomfortable seconds. It wasn't that it was a bad compliment. She appreciates any compliments at all...but her shoes were hidden from his view. Not to mention, they were the dirty, mustard yellow converse that the Pogues bash on a daily basis.

She laughed, lifting her leg to expose the sneaker on her right foot, and asked, "These? Dude, you roast me for these all the time. You and John B said they look like Big Bird shit on them."

The skin on the apples of his cheeks scorched hot with embarrassment, and he was never so glad that the overhead lights in the van were burnt out until that moment. He would've died on the spot if she saw him blush like that, face flushed pinker than sunburn. All he could do to save himself was murmur something about the color growing on him and keep driving in the direction of the theater with his hands white-knuckling the steering wheel he fantasized about banging his face into.

Rule Three: Insist on picking up the check.

In this case, it meant insist on buying the popcorn and drinks, and he miraculously managed to drop his wallet somewhere along the way when he ran over to the Chateau, so when he stepped up to the makeshift concession stand with her standing at his side, he felt around for his wallet in his jeans to no avail.

His thoughts echoed back to him, You gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously? Is this actually happening right now?

"JJ, it's honestly fine," she said softly as he leaned over to search back of the Twinkie for the wallet. "We can look for it on your street right now if you want. It has your ID and stuff, you don't want a stranger to have that. We don't need to stay—"

It took all of his control to not shout it in reaction when he said, "No way. You've been waiting for this, and Kie ditched you, so I ain't ditching you too. We're staying."

His wallet could go kick rocks.

He came too far to be dragged down by the old leathery piece of shit anyway. Would he go out and search for it tirelessly the second the date ended? Hell yeah, that fucker had twenty dollars and his debit card in it, but he couldn't bear the thought of abandoning her or ruining her anticipated movie night by taking her out to search the streets with their phone flashlights for a wallet they might not find. He'd wait till the movies ended, take her home, then haul ass around the Cut searching for it after.

Thankfully, he found a couple bucks crumbled up in his front pocket while she scavenged for coins in the glove compartment, and they came up with enough to buy a water bottle and small popcorn to share together.

Rule Four: Don't have sex on the first date.

And it may sound easy enough to not act like a complete Neanderthal for the length of two movies, but the girl makes it pretty damn difficult if he's to say so himself.

That's what led him here, laying in the back of the sideways-parked Twinkie in the farthest corner of the outdoor theater with her practically on top of him. In any other instance, he wouldn't be opposed in the slightest, but with the cursed fourth rule in mind, he isn't too thrilled with the feeling of her hand rubbing up and down his thigh.

It isn't even meant to be sexual. They're constantly touching one another this way. She'll even slip her hands up under his shirt just to feel the warmth of his skin or when he asks her if she can get an itch on a part of his back he can't reach, but for some reason his brain is short circuiting right now.

The thing is, when Kie and Pope said he shouldn't do it on the first date, they meant it for his and Steph's made up circumstances, not his and Y/N's full-blown relationship without labels. When you've had sex with someone as many times as they have with each other, the hesitancy on the "first date" is nonexistent. It doesn't matter. But JJ, trying to follow the advice given to him to the letter for the sake of being the date she deserves, doesn't think about it that way.

It shouldn't be this nerve-wracking. They've been best friends since they were children, they've been flirting since they found out what basic attraction was in the first place, and they've been forming this relationship ever since John B died. Why can't he relax? Why is this so different compared to how easy it felt between them yesterday on the beach or today at lunch?

Rule Five: Be yourself.

It takes him another few moments of laying here with her before he realizes quite abruptly what went wrong in a quick flash of a thought that brings the fifth rule back to him. The problem wasn't the bike, or the weird compliment about her Big Bird sneakers, or the lost wallet.

The problem is him. The problem is that he's trying way too hard to make this something it isn't. The part about them that he adores so dearly is how they never have to try when they're together. With any other girl or guy, they'd have to fake something or act a certain way, yet when they're together, they can simply exist and everything is runs smoothly. That's not to say they don't disagree or bump heads, they do, but short of those outlier moments, it's easier than anything else they do in life.

His eyes flicker away from the screen for the first time since the movie began, which, by the way, is gruesome enough at times that he had to divert his eyes to prevent himself from seeing it happen. They land on where she lays, completely content with the night in spite of its mishaps, with her head propped up on the pillows they brought from the Chateau.

He wonders if she can tell he's acting differently. Surely she must notice. She's the type of person that typically never misses a thing, perfect for the gold hunt they went on in the summer with picking up the clues and helping her brother unravel the mystery, so maybe she noticed how flustered this date has him. Does it bother her? Does he bother her?

With a confirming glance back up at the movie to see nothing important happening, he can't fight the urge to speak anymore.

"Can I tell you something?"

His voice appearing through the darkness of the shut off van after spending the past half hour in complete silence makes her jolt at first before realizing who it was. Though she loves horror movies, she can't claim to not be affected by them. The night she falls asleep after watching one, she often finds herself compelled to turn a light on and keep her feet from dangling off the edge of the bed. It's worth the fear, though.

When she turns to look at JJ, there's a warm smile on her face. She's cuddled into his side with a hand placed casually atop his thigh, caressing with no purpose or intent, and her movement halts when the light from the movie on the projector allows her to see the expression on his face.

Anxiety has become an increasingly significant presence in his life with the recent events in mind; John B and Sarah, the four-hundred million dollars they lost out on, and dodging his father whenever he sneaks home to switch out the backpack of clothes and personal belongings he keeps at the Routledge house.

It manifests itself in jittery nerves, stomach pains, shortness of breath, and, at worst, panic attacks striking either at random or in response to a specific trigger. It's one of the few things he still tries to hide from her, and she tries not to push him too hard with opening up about it.

She abandons the movie for the time being and rolls onto her side to face him, upper body propped up on her elbow as she examines his face with downturned features.

"Of course," she says.

The words left unsaid are, "You can tell me anything. Whenever you need someone to listen, or to talk to about shit, you can tell me." He's heard her say it enough that he doesn't need to hear it now to know it's true.

There's a pause, then—

"I feel like I fucked this entire date up," he starts to ramble and cuts her off before she can think about saying what she wants to, "and I know it's okay to you. You have way too high of a tolerance for my bullshit, and I've been trying so hard to make this perfect, but all that did was screw it up."

She's left quiet for a second, taking it all in.

Maybe if he hadn't been so anxious about it, he would've realized what was wrong with his bike when he rode it home from school, or he would've noticed his wallet fall out of his pocket. The point is, he wishes he hadn't let the label attached to this freak him out so much. He isn't sure why it does, but it does.

But she doesn't do what he expects. She isn't drowning him in reassurances and, "It's okay's" because she knows he doesn't care for them much. When he, the most stubborn person she knows, apologizes for something he did, he doesn't want it to turn into the person accepting the apology coddling him.

Y/N sighs.

"Is that why you've been acting so different all night? I scared you with the whole ‘date’ thing, didn't I? It doesn't have to be a date if you don't want it to be."

What she doesn't know is that he wants it to be a date. He wants it to be a date so badly, he risked Pope and Kie finding them out for the sake of getting some proper advice on it, and now he's caught up in the same game of tug and war in his mind that always occurs when he wants to tell her the truth about his feelings for her.

Part of him doesn't understand why he doesn't outright say it. With every other girl he once showed interest in, he had no issues in letting them know he wanted them, but this is different. This isn't simply wanting someone, he thinks he's fallen for her. But whenever he says he's gonna grow a pair and tell her after all this time, he chokes. Involuntarily, he's reminded of his parents. Other than his friends saying it platonically, the only people to tell him they loved him were them, and with how they treated him, he sure as hell doesn't think that is love.

From his dad's brutal physical abuse to his mom's abandonment, he's too timid to tell her he loves her because of what could happen if she loves him back. Everyone else that has said that to him has either hurt him, died like John B did, or abandoned him.

He won't let that happen with him and Y/N. What they have, albeit undefined and codependent, is safe. It's the only thing he has left. Maybe it isn't right, and maybe he should open up about it to communicate the correct way, but somewhere in the misshapen logic of his mind, he correlates love to abandonment. And he doesn't want that to happen with her.

There are two sides of him at battle inside his mind. One side, the side that wants to do right by their relationship and actually communicate his feelings for once in his life, wants him to tell her everything. The other side, the side that responds based on the history of his past, wants him to hide it all.

"Will you be mad at me if we don't call it a date?" he asks.

She shakes her head.

The heavy sensation inside of JJ's chest nears a point of vitriolic violence against him as he starts to realize what he's doing to her, clearly letting her down, but he can't stop himself. Like a passive witness watching himself from outside of his body, the instantaneous trauma response to the sudden confrontation of his true feelings for her guides his actions without his permission. It shuts down any protest he has.

The sound of the movie fills the gap of silence between them the entire time. It’s a variety of bloodcurdling screams and disgusting sounds that would've made him gag if he weren't as distracted.

They can make out each other's faces through the darkness, but barely. It takes a flash of bright color from the film or a nearby car's lights turning on for them to fully see one another. Without the other knowing, they both put masks of calm and collected coolness on their faces despite the feelings raging beneath the surface—more so on his part than hers.

"Maybe," he says, pausing, "we should just keep things the way they've been."

As soon as the words leave his mouth, a soul-crushing amount of disappointment weighs her down. She said it was fine if he doesn't want it to be a date—and it is, she would never hold it against him—but that doesn't mean it can't hurt her. Things have been going so well, she almost thought...If tonight went well, she was thinking about no longer keeping it a secret, but if he said he wants things to stay the same, then maybe he isn't as ready for it as she is?

Meanwhile, JJ is on another page entirely.

She's embarrassed of being with you, a familiar voice in the back of his head croons. She's gonna leave just like everyone else does. If she doesn't even wanna tell your friends, why should you pretend you're dating?

The internal comments are the type that cause him to physically grimace when he's alone. Intrusive thoughts are just that: intrusive.

Sneaking into the guarded sanctuary of a person's mind, they set out to convince them the opposite of their reality. The only thing is, where most people's minds are guarded sanctuaries with walls of impregnable defense, his mind is the equivalent of a fortress blown to smithereens. The castle walls lay in rubble, the guards no where to be seen, and the path for these thoughts to slip past and straight to the vulnerability of his mind is left wide open.

In the privacy of his room, these thoughts attack him the most at night when he tries to fall asleep—when things get too quiet. With nobody around, when they get this bad there's nothing he can do except break down. It builds from the mere anxiety of attempting to force the thoughts away to full-blown panic attack mode. The more he resists them, the more aggressive they become. He'll gasp for air with tears streaming down his face, hitting his head with the heel of his hand as if that'd do something to stop his relentless mind.

But he can't afford to react in front of her, so the extent of his reaction is a subtle twitch of his face that she cannot see in the momentary darkness before the movie switches to another scene a second later. In a way, it does make the thoughts go away to have her here preventing him from spiraling alone. Having to focus on her keeps his mind away for moments at a time until the thoughts ease their grip on him.

When she hasn't answered for a while, he asks, terrified that he did something bad, "Are we good?"

The question seems to wake her up, snapping her out of the lonely direction her thoughts went into when he "rejected" her. It takes every bit of common sense she has left to force herself to understand that this doesn't mean he doesn't want her. He does, and not calling this a date doesn't mean they won't be together in the way they have been since John B's death, but she isn't perfect. She gets as unsure and insecure as he does.

As if the cloud of doom was lifted off of her, she makes her face lighten where she lays on her side next to him. Seeing this expression makes his chest feel less heavy, and he could let out a sigh of relief at the realization that he didn't break her heart and stomp on it. He should've known. Y/N is the sweetest person he knows, so she never would've flipped shit over him not wanting to label this as a date. That's not how she is.

And he's partly right. It isn't how she is. She would never hold it against him if he didn't want something further with her since she got herself into this position by pursuing him with his reputation with girls in mind, but she can't ignore it. Whether she wants it to or not, it had its affect on her as soon as he said it.

She leans in to kiss him, their lips meeting in the middle with the faint taste of popcorn salt mingling at the soft peck.

When she pulls away, she brushes the hair back from his face and says, "Don't worry. Nothing can change how I feel about you."

She has no clue what it feels like to hear that from her.

Despite the turmoil they unknowingly share beneath the surface due to this conversation, he could cry hearing her say it. It doesn't feel real to him that she feels the same way he does about her, because nothing could change how he feels about her either. That’s why he manages to work up the courage to repeat it back to her, and, for now, this is the closest he's physically capable of coming to telling her the truth.

"Ditto," he says.

It isn't what she wanted, but it's close enough, and if she dwells on this any longer, she might start getting too emotional and let the urge to tear up become too strong. Why does she have to be this sensitive? It's no secret that it's remarkably easy to make her cry, but this is insane to her. When all of this began with him, she didn't give a shit about him not wanting a label. She understood him, and she understood that he doesn't do this kind of thing, so why has it changed? Why doesn't she want to keep it a secret anymore? Why does she want this to be a date when she knows he doesn't want it to be?

Pulled by an invisible string back to him to silence her mind, she leans in to kiss him again with a hand cupping the back of his neck to guide him the rest of the way to her.

It shouldn't be laced with any sexual intention. She should be kissing him simply because she wants to, and, in a way, she is. Their kisses and touches are never lacking the motivation that is their underlying connection and mutual feelings for one another, but this is not the same. As he kisses her back with as much confidence and passion as always, she is reeling from the conversation that reminded her too much of a breakup.

It takes another minute of this for the kiss to heat up, their breathing becoming shallower in the moments they part to inhale, and she is undeniably the one instigating when she officially crosses the line between casual and sexual by crawling onto his lap. It's not hard for him to pick up on when their innocent moments take a turn. She's easy to read in that regard, and this has happened a multitude of times with them, so the shift of a mini make out session turning into something more is nothing out of the ordinary for them.

If he knew how shaken she is on the inside, he'd never want this. And the same would go for her if she knew what he was thinking before this. Neither of them wants to admit what they're feeling.

With her legs seated on either side of his hips, she kisses him like it's the last time she'll ever get the opportunity to. Her hands wander wherever they can, pulling at his shirt and feeling him up as his hands guide her hips to move against his in a steady grinding that she has no issue partaking in. It's an eagerness he hasn't seen from her in weeks. She's never un-excited when it comes to being physical with him either, but this is another level. The last time a girl was all over him like this, it was desperate touron at a party a few months ago.

In the span of time it takes her to glance over her shoulder to see if anyone could see them and reach to pull her skirt up until it bunches around her hips—no one can see them, by the way, since they got here late and were forced to cram the van into the back corner of the lot with no street lights illuminating the path—his brows raise at her presumptuous behavior. Not that he's one to complain, however, seeing as he's typically the one doing what she is.

Their next kiss clashes their teeth hard enough to make them wince, but he loves it. It makes him smirk into her parted mouth, alive with both the feeling her reassurance provided and the fuzzy-headed high that often finds him when they're together in this way. Incomparable to past flings or the high related to any drugs, she is the peak of everything to him. It's no contest.

His chest stutters against hers with a bout of amused laughter, asking within a brief pause in what feels like the most JJ thing he's said this awkward night, "Two for two in the Twinkie. What's gotten into you?"

Y/N's hand dips between where their bodies move together to unclasp the closed buckle of his belt in one smooth motion that has it falling apart with a clinking noise.

Her features are set with a look that tells him she means business. Whatever it is that sparked this, he wonders how the fuck to make it happen again another time. She's begged for it before, but never taken control so dominantly, and he can't deny what the role reversal does to him. The evidence is obvious in the distinct hardness she feels pressing up against the hand undoing his jeans.

"I was hoping it'd be you," she says, voice breathless and airy from the constant contact in a way that makes it ten times hotter for him.

If there were any chance of him not being in the mood prior to this, which wasn't the case anyway, it's gone now. He never wants to hear her say she doesn't deliberately try to tease him ever again.

He doesn't need to be told twice.

JJ surges forward to capture her mouth with his, this time with no intention of pulling away to breathe or speak again. No, he'll let himself get lightheaded and dizzy if it means he can stay with her for as long as possible.

With the circumstances of it all, them being visible to someone if they happened to pass by the open door of the van, they move at a pace quicker than usual. She's immediately helping him shimmy his jeans and underwear far enough down his hips to free his dick from the confines of his clothes, making him sigh out a breath of relief when her hand brushes against him in the process.

There's no opportunity to slow down, it has exploded into a full-throttle speed race that neither of them can halt.

His hand blindly flies out beside him to grope the floor of the van for the set of keys he tossed carelessly to the side once the movie started, eyes shut in the midst of the hot, messy kiss they share. His fingers find the fabric of one of the blankets they brought in case they got cold, then drifts again and lands on her Big Bird sneakers until he feels the sharp metal of her keys meet his calloused palm.

After the events of last summer, she bought a switch blade to keep on her key ring alongside the keys to the van, HMS Pogue, and Chateau. She may not like violence or weapons, seeing as she was a skeptic of JJ keeping the gun alongside her friends, but she saw it necessary. Between Rafe, Topper, and Kelce, how could she leave the safety of her and her friends up to chance knowing what some of the kooks did to them not long ago? What happened to Pope on the golf course alone was enough to make her skin crawl.

Right now, though, the knife flips out from the pressure of his thumb pushing the button to release it. He holds it out away from her at first to assure it doesn't nick her in the process, then uses his other hand to tug the side of her panties that hugs her hip far out enough to press the sharp side of the blade onto the inside of it.

She can hardly believe what she's watching as JJ cuts the delicate maroon underthings from her body as if he were doing something so normal, like it's something he's done before. Her forehead is pressed against his, her mouth parted both in shock and in a need to pant for oxygen, and she watches the knife ruin her favorite panties. The stitches come apart with a satisfying ripping noise that can hardly be heard over the sound of people reacting to the movie in the background.

Other customers of the Cherry Bowl Drive-In are too glued to the screen as a beloved character is chased down, reacting in shouts when she's seized by the killer and shoved onto the table of an industrial bread slicer, so they remain wholly unnoticed.

The lace, now ripped in half, dangles on the tip of the knife when he lifts it away from her, tosses it aside, and presses the button once more to retract the blade. It clatters to the floor, but is in no way forgotten with them resuming in a desperation to keep going until they both satisfy the need clawing at them from the inside. But her sense of need is different from his, and even with the fresh memory of him with the switch blade in mind, she's still somewhere else the whole time.

Her mind is faraway, muted through layers of sadness, anger, and disappointment as he reaches between them to line himself up to her entrance. The sensation of him running his cock, hard and messy with a few drops of precome, through her dripping pussy to coat it in her slick arousal is enough to make her moan pathetically. Yet when he's about to guide himself inside of her, she stops him.

"Wait, wait, wait," she breathes out rapidly, heart pounding so hard she can feel herself pulsating between her thighs, "Condom."

They were so antsy to get to it, they almost forgot.

"Fuck," he curses under his breath, and his eyes flicker from where they were trained between their bodies to glance back and forth around the van before it hits him. "I lost my wallet..."

But right when he thinks their public rendezvous in the back of the Drive-In is over due to his unfortunate mistake, she shakes her head and slips away from her perch astride his lap to crawl over to her bag.

She fumbles with the old tote bag and plunges her arm in to sift through the hodge podge of things that are purely Y/N in nature—stickers, glitter pens, a half-eaten bag of candy, etc—for the square foil package she decided to toss in before she left just in case. She usually doesn't keep them on her because he never fails to have one, but, thankfully, she had the random instinct to bring it tonight.

The only thing to bring her out of her cloudy, malevolent storm of feelings when she settles back onto his lap with the condom wrapper ripped open for him is him saying, "So you planned this, huh?" with his mouth tipped in a familiar self-satisfied grin.

She didn't plan it. In fact, she threw herself at him the second she sensed him withdrawing from her and can't stop herself despite the fact that she constantly feels two seconds away from letting a tear slip down her cheek. If that counts as "planning it", then sure.

"Maybe so," she answers, cool, calm, and collected—the antithesis of the truth.

They usually don't lie to each other.

They're thrown right back into it without any other hiccups once he rolls the condom on, and he takes in a shaky breath at her hand wrapping around him to align their bodies up. Before she can do anything, though, he takes chance to swipe the blanket he found a moment ago and wrap it around her back to keep her covered in case they get caught.

Y/N sinks down onto his cock with her lip caught between her teeth to stifle the sound that threatens to escape. JJ, on the other hand, doesn't bother concealing the sound of the groan he makes at the sensation of having her wrapped around him like this. The tension in her entire body from the anticipation and the looming threat of being seen by someone has her squeezing him so tightly, he can't help but be a little louder than he should.

Her soft palm slaps over his mouth with enough pressure to force his groan to quiet itself, and she watches his pretty blue eyes widen in reaction to the dominant action. Who is this girl and what has she done with his sweet, submissive Y/N? Don't get him wrong, he is very turned on by it, but it's unlike her to take the lead this way. He can't figure it out.

"What's wrong, angel?" she asks in a whisper into his ear, her hand over his mouth and her hips starting to slowly rock against him, "Watch the movie."

Once the words leave her mouth, she drops her hand, just in case he wants to stop and can't say anything because she had his mouth covered, and JJ is pretty sure he's died and gone to heaven.

He doesn't watch the movie, not at all, because he's too busy watching her. For someone losing their mind internally, she does not let it show, nor does she let it distract her from what's happening. If anything, the distraction in this situation is the sex, not what's going on inside of her head.

There's a moment of adjustment and going as slowly and gently as possible while waiting for the dull pressure of feeling him inside of her to fade away, but, for the most part, she doesn't waste any time. As soon as she feels comfortable enough with the ache between her thighs giving way to a spark of pleasure when she grinds her clit down on his pubic bone, she starts to ride him at a better pace than the initial slow movements of her hips.

She raises herself up and takes him again inch by inch, enjoying the sense of fullness she gets from having to fit him in spite of the slight discomfort at first, and she could swear that he'll leave bruises in the shape of his handprints with how tightly he clutches her hips. It's all he can do to prevent himself from moaning or saying something, ever the vocal lover she's come to know.

Unless his mouth is preoccupied like it was on the beach yesterday afternoon, JJ is usually impossible to shut up, especially in this context. With him always whispering dirty things to her, whether it be praises, pet names, or plans on what he wants to do to her, she has come to find it breathtakingly hot. He could likely get away with saying something if he wanted to, but he isn't sure he wants to risk it. If he opens his mouth to spew something filthy to her, he won't trust himself not to make a louder, different kind of noise that won't fit in the with background audio the other moviegoers are listening to.

The wet sound of their bodies colliding that fills the space of the van is drowned out by the loud and violent sequence occurring on the screen far ahead of them, and hearing it makes her bounce herself on him a little harder. She's fueled on by it all, and, strangely, what happened before she practically pounced on him is the main contributor.

Similarly to the nature of his intrusive thoughts, the harder she resists the memory of how it felt when he told her he didn't want this to be a date, the more forceful it is in its return. Her eyes trail down to watch where they connect with her forehead pressed to his, then she's thrown back into the feeling of helpless disappointment and insecurity. His head tips back against the window with his bottom lip dropped open and his brows furrowed just enough to create a crease on his forehead, and she's bombarded with the look of relief on his face when he realized he didn't have to be tied down to her with a label.

It makes her want to get rougher, harder, and she doesn't even care if it'll make her sore later on. She presses herself down so far every time she slides down on his cock, her teeth draw blood on her lip with how hard she must bite it to remain quiet. The pain of her hipbones rubbing against his doesn't even matter to either of them at this point. They're both too lost in the pleasure that has begun to take control of them to care about something as minuscule as that, or the burn in her thighs from the repetitive physical strain.

She grabs his wrist and brings his hand between them, flattening hers overtop of it and pressing down on the base of her abdomen in the midst of the increasingly feverish thrusts.

"Feel you here," she murmurs to him through a quiet moan, hoping he can hear it over the movie, and pushes down on his hand for emphasis. And if the way he reacts by cursing under his breath tells her anything, it's that he picked up on it. "JJ..."

He reaches out to grab her by the throat with his free hand and tug her forward to kiss him, as if something inside of him snapped in response to her doing that. The motions of her jolting up and down throws the already messy and uncoordinated kiss off-kilter, but they don't mind. It has them separating every time she lifts up, producing this heady little head rush from from them breathing in each other's air without actually letting their mouths meet in the middle.

Though they're trying their hardest not to alert anyone outside of what's happening, it didn't occur to him until now, when his eyes catch John B's old bandana swinging back and forth where it's secured around the rear view mirror.

They're worried about moaning while the entire fucking Twinkie is rocking with their movements. Well, at least it makes good use of the corny sticker he gifted John B last year as a gag gift. He tried to peel it off after JJ snuck it onto the side window to no avail. So, now Y/N is stuck with a sticker on her car reading, "If the van's a-rockin', come on in, we like orgies," rather than the more common phrase.

It almost makes him start laughing, and he prays no one takes that shit seriously, 'cause he is never intent on sharing this breathtaking girl. Ever.

Y/N isn't anywhere near laughing like he is, in fact, she's finding it difficult to keep herself together. She feels her eyes sting with the promise of tears, and she's never felt so pathetic before. Is she seriously about to cry during sex? Is she really that girl that is so ill-equipped to handle rejection, she can't get through it without tears?

She won't cry. Perhaps if he sees how glossy her eyes have become in a rare moment of good lighting, she can blame it on the hand around her throat putting pressure on the sides of her neck.

The worst part about her being near to crying is the timing of it.

The emotion of what she feels mentally mixes with the swirling, building sensation she feels in the pit of her stomach that tells her she's close to going over the edge, and it's so overwhelming. Was she imagining that their friendship had changed? More importantly, is this all she'll ever be to him? Sex is the only thing she's sure of with him, it's the only thing that doesn't require deeper emotions, and when the ground beneath their fragile relationship felt shaky...

He can feel her starting to unravel, and he knows that he'll come before she does if he doesn't do anything now, so he decides to take control.

JJ pulls the hand he had resting on her abdomen away as though he were burned by it, wrapping his arm around her waist to steady her body against his and using the hand around her neck for leverage to thrust up into her, effectively reducing her to a teary-eyed, moaning mess atop him. They both stopped caring about making noise the second he began to fuck her like this.

She cries out in ecstasy at the sudden change in pace and depth that has him hitting all the right places. Every time he thrusts up into her, just as rough as she wished for, the tip of his cock nudges into that perfect spot inside of her that makes her incapable of silencing her moans. This time, it's JJ that puts his hand over her mouth, letting the one he had around her neck move away to keep her from alerting everyone around them of what's happening.

There's nothing she can do to stop her climax as it barrels through her in its initial sweeping wave of bliss to contrast the venomous doubts in her mind. She's never felt such conflicting, yet powerful feelings before—the intensity of the physical pleasure that makes her whine into the palm of his hand, then the part of her mind replaying every word he said in their conversation before this.

Her body is rigid and tense through it all, squeezing down around his cock with the involuntary spasms of her orgasm, and he can't help himself anymore. All it takes are a few more frantic thrusts for him to bury himself inside of her one last time and spill into the condom, uncovering her mouth so he can drown out his own groans into a kiss.

Their skin sticks to their clothes on the inside with sweat from the exertion of their actions, and he can feel her stomach tremble where it presses up against his with each undulation of her hips that meet his as he rides it out.

But even with the added distraction of the sex, she can't rid herself of the feeling that started plaguing her as soon as things went awry. That was why he was acting weird all night. He must have been so worried about her thinking this was anything more than their typical hangouts that he couldn't bring himself to act normally.

She forces herself to look happy when they pull away from the kiss, panting, and JJ, unaware of what she's been thinking, doesn't notice the small deception.

Tag list: @gabiatthedisco

#jj maybank #jj maybank smut #jj maybank x reader #outer banks #obx #fanfiction #obx s2 #uh oh trouble in paradise #anyway that smut #kinda wanna get railed by JJ in the back of the van #don’t we all?

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hiimsociallyawkward · 3 years

Text

aithusia

hi bestie @lady-ofmagic-andstars it's been a while. i said i would do this episode last week but i had to wait for the destiny and chicken podcast to come out so here we are. basically, all of my thoughts while watching aithusia.

ugh the opening scene. i actually love it

ok ngl i remember that this guy is the bad guy but he's like 🥵🥵🥵 jeez

ik it's not just on tiktok but that tiktok where it goes 'but momma i'm in love with a criminal'

wow nice key bud

ok him running in the forest is just like you cannot outrun your demons and i thought that was so funny

smh he's so violent but he's so pretty :,)

ok but how old is this guy?? he say it's taken 20 years of his life. why 20? is that because that's when the 'last' dragon died out?? and at what age was he socially concious enough to recognize the implication of what it means to have a dragon? his is so dumb but probably like 15? so this guy is 35ish? idk man thoughts?

ok if he just feel off the cliff instead of being able to pull himself up we would've saved ourselves a lot of trouble i'm just saying druids.

ok this is so pretty. my thoughts are like 25% me singing show tunes, 25% thinking of actual merlin things, 50% thinking about how pretty everything is

merlin is such a light sleeper. idk why that's important but he wakes up ALL the time

✨gaius is the worst ✨

ok colin's eye looked so good in this scene

aLASFLJDFA MERLIN AND HIS SOCKS

stop i literally dress like this

i love his sleep clothes. it's such a vibe

aw merlin saying 'save the dragons is so cute' omg it reminds me of the vsco girls and saving the turtles HAHA

i love how equal merlin and kilgharrah feel here

asjflsjdasjdfl like ik this is the point but i love that merlin's inherited his father gift and he's always going to remember him. not that merlin would forget his father but idek

aw kilgharrah is like 'i beg you' ok now that i think abt it maybe it's slightly manipulative but it's also really not

ok actually i don't know how many time merlin uses this scene but i guess i'm keeping track now. but look how pretty

wow the rising sun 🤪

OH HAHA THIS IS WHERE MERLIN CARTWHEELS??

literally merlin just breaks in everywhere

merlin seems so earnest about wanting to see the dragons. i want to see the dragons too please

omg HAHA the woodworm is this episode??

WHY IS MERLIN STILL SEARCHING AFTER ARTHUR TURNS AROUND WHAT?

this is a side note but i love arthur's key holder thingy it's actually pretty.

stop right now why is merlin using his magic to PANTS arthur

ok i'm pretty sure that agravaine is only in this episode this one time, and yk it's the little victories

i'm actually embarassed for arthur and merlin here. i don't like it at all

HOW DOES MERLIN DO THE HANDSTAND?? that's the one part i like

ok my question is how is he supposed to know where the last piece of the triskeleton is??

SECOND QUESTION WHY IS HE JUST STANDING IN THE VAULT WHEN HE SHOULD BE RUNNING

lasflkajsdljsad omg the betrayal. ouch my heart

these scene are just like. it's actually art

ok how did merlin stay there all night and no one saw him?? literally camelot guards need to step up

omg no not merlin zooming

sklfja;lsdkjfasdlfs amerlin and the cup

i love how long merlin and arthur look at each other before arthur reacts

lsjfa;lksdsl woodworm omg and the fact that arthur believes that merlin is this chaotic is so funny

HAHA THIS SCENE GAIUS LITERALLY YELLING AT MERLIN

i think this is the funniest thing because gaius is like 'don't people about your magic' while YELLING ABOUT MERLIN'S MAGIC

ok that's a good point gaius we don't know what borden's intentions are

alsdjfalsd stop why didn't they wait for merlin :,(. this reminds me of when you're in highschool and you're finishing lunch and as you pack up everyone is leaving you??????

ok but i love that merlin rides in front with arthur. like- of course he does

merlin being observant 😍😍

i want to go horse riding now

STOP I DON'T LIKE THIS

THIS KNIGHT/DINNER GAG IS NOT FUNNY TO ME. NOT IN THE SLIGHTLEST. THERE'S THIS FIC by @a-small-batch-of-dragons. i literally spent like 10 minutes looking for it because i had to include it here

this scene just.. i don't like it. i never have and i never will

like- who decided that putting this scene in here would be good. no thanks

the knights sleeping in a circle and merlin sleeping on the outside. idk bro that made me a little sad

but also. i want a cloak please. i think i'm just going to say i want a cloak every episode

ok i chuckled at the interaction of 'ever herd of the word sorry?' and 'no is it a word you made up?'

dude don't ask why but i love it when people walk through waterfalls

i don't know why arthur looked so stupid when he was doing it though

i love the nature of it all

yes merlin, you start walking toward the castle first

aw i love the knights working together. like, i know they work together- they're knights, but we love to see it

merlin and his sharp eyes again :,))

why are they making camp it's literally not even dark yet 😭😭

oh great another dinner gag. please stop. i dislike this immensely

wow i love that merlin can heal them. i also think it's surprising because merlin sucks at healing things but yk.. ✨plot✨

this looks like the type of building teens would either be convinced is haunted and try to stay the night there or the type of building that all teens would go to to take pics for the #gram

ok is borden dead here or..

yes i'm putting both of these picture here. who's going to stop me

just kidding it's three

ok so not dead

ok this is not meant to be creepy but colin has nice hands

borden is a creep please go away now

merlin use your ✨magic ✨ please

YES. tell him you're the last dragonlord. i stan. YES HIM AND HIS MAGIC

you better run boy

ok how he manages to get out of the castle is astounding

HAHA there was some CGI that fell and i laughed so hard because it looked so fake

LITERALLY. THE PRETTY CASTLE SCENE IS HERE AGAIN. PRETTY CASTLE SCENE COUNTER; 3

omg merlin getting excited about the egg is actually so precious

both of their faces here are SO precious.

oasfasldfjasl idk why but whenever merlin walks across with the eggs i have this feeling he's going to faceplant and drop it for the comedic effect but i'm glad that never happens

bruh 'back where it belongs' like yes that makes sense but also that doesn't make sense

dude

it's been a full moon for like 4 days now..??????

omg i actually love aithusa

tbh, i DO NOT know how to pronounce her name

why is she actually the cutest thing ever.

AW MERLIN CRYING

i love it when merlin cries, but not in a sadistic way yk? it's more the fact that he's allowed to cry

ok i have a few dragon fics that i love but the only one i can think of right now is Returning the Favor by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle it's actually perfect

there are so many more that i love but i can't think of them but also- PLEASE REC YOUR FAVE DRAGON FAMILY DOMESTIC FICS PLEASE AND THANK YOU

anyways. i'll be back tomorrow to rant more about the darkest hr pt 2 so i'll see you then! also let me know if you want me to stop tagging you @lady-ofmagic-andstars because otherwise i will literally tag you in everything :,)

#merlin #merlin bbc #colin morgan #emrys #bradley james #gwaine #lancelot #arthur pendragon #king arthur #guinevere #morgana #elyan #percival #leon #gaius #uther #angel coubly #katie mcgrath

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i-cant-handle-change · 3 years

Text

I'm eager to talk about my Au’s instead of drawing them again-

’The Wired’ Au

Gotta love twisting reality to make up this Au.

This is a depressing Au ngl, besides all the mind fucks it has within it has a lot of desperation in it.

Izuku is trying to find his mother who has been lost within The Wired and there are people out there to get him.

More preferably The Knights and Nine and his gang. Gotta include Nine in too, loved his character in the movie and if you watched Serial Experiments Lain you might know who he’ll play as.

Oh, and Izuku’s dad wants to vault him

Nothing like good old DFO to add on to the already depressing Au am I right?

I’ll write and draw snippets of the Au soon enough but it’ll come off as strange and convoluted. But thats like the norm in the anime I based it on so once again mind fucks all around.

Bakugo is going to get ✨paranoid✨ in this Au. One moment he sees Izuku as a villain, the other as a cutesy extrovert wearing pastels, and the other as what he was after the fatal ’swan dive’. It's going to mess with him a lot and the fact that Izuku flat out told him he was the cause of all of this isn't helping him at all.

Does Inko ever get found by Izuku in The Wired?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This Au is like a pinata, I bash on it and possibilities pour out of it like candy. There are too many and some look the same yet are very different, I don't know, that's the Au in a nutshell.

Also white-haired Izuku. That's it just white-haired Izuku.

’Itch’ Au

Oh yeah, this one is my favorite, and all I can think about-

Izuku has the All for One quirk and he doesn't know that yet the quirk is sentient and slowly starts to take over Izuku’s life.

Some DFO sprinkled in because of angst.

I just love the idea of sentient quirks and by far the AFO quirk just radiates chaotic evil energy and I’m living it. Once it awakens, (it was kept at bay until Izuku finally activated it at the sludge monster incident where All Might and many people saw the event with their own eyes) it’s just dead set on causing so much chaos.

But with how adorable Izuku is the quirk can't just help but groom him into his ideals and make him his new vessel. This is middle school Izuku who just got his quirk and he's still young so the quirk has all the time he needs to shape him how he wants to be.

Izuku is scared, no kidding, he still doesn't understand his quirk very well and why it's sentient in the first place. All he knows is that when it’s near he gets chills down his spine and has the unfortunate hunger of taking more quirks. He's learning to control it though and the more he does the more he spends in this so-called ’landscape’ with his quirk.

It's strange, scary sure, but he feels compelled to know more about this quirk he’s acquired. It claims that it’ll help Izuku when he's at his lowest point and by the looks of it he is at his lowest point. Izuku could deny it but the quirk knows Izuku, it’s been with Izuku for so long that it might as well know more about the teenager than the teenager knows about himself.

It knows about his life. The unfairness and treatment he’s been through for nearly a decade because of his ’quirklessness’. The pain, the bullying, the mistreatment, the scowls, the pity, the unspeakable acts acted onto this child because he did not have a quirk.

”I can help you, little one.”

It said with that trademark toothy smile.

”I can help you make those who have harmed you bow and cower at your very feet!” It exclaimed, raising its arms for effect.

”You have the power to make them quirkless! You have the power to make them weak, pathetic, completely worthless to a society dependent on quirks for survival! You have the power to overcome all those heroes and villains that reign this small world!”

Izuku’s only fourteen, he can't handle all this pressure alone, let alone handle the guilt of taking away quirks from other people. Even if they hurt him in his past he could never forgive himself for committing such an act.

Izuku was too busy thinking to himself that he flinches when he's brought into a suffocating hug, two long arms wrapping around his body like snakes. He acts fast, bringing his now visible arms up to push the quirk away but it was too strong.

Its laughter rang through the landscape.

”You can make anyone follow your orders with the power you hold, little one. You have the power to make them all pay for what they all did to you. Don't you think it’s time that they get a taste of their own medicine?”

’No!’ Izuku wanted to say, still struggling within he tightening hold. ’I don’t want to hurt anyone!’

”But you’ve already had.”

Izuku paused.

”How many quirks have you taken so far because of your hunger? Two? Five? Ten?! All of them taken and it's barely been a few months, little one, and the consequences were just tragic!”

Izuku struggled some more.

’I didn't mean to! I didn't know how to use my quirk properly! I want to give them back but I don't know how to do it right!’

”All those delinquents sent to the hospital, I can't say that isn't normal for children like them but the others... People will start turning heads! They’ll start to look around, rumors will spread, people will talk, they will start to get scared, and soon all those heads will turn towards you...”

’NO!’

”Think about it, everyone will now call you a villain! It doesn't matter what you’ll say they’ll all just point fingers at you and screech out ’VILLAIN’ and run away in fear of your presence! Children will think of you as a monster, children your age will start to avoid you like the plague, parents will take their children and run away from you, heroes will arrest you for illegal quirk usage, and your mother...”

Its grip tightened around Izuku, if Izuku could he would be screaming by now.

”What would your poor dear stressful mother think of you? Oh, she would start to blame herself, she’ll start to think that she gave birth to a demon that only spreads bad luck wherever it goes! All because of your quirk...”

It losses its grip on Izuku who was opening crying by this point, he raises his hands to his face, trying to cover his reddening face.

The quirk before Izuku simply crouched down to the teenager’s height, its smile still hadn't gone away. It raised its broad hands to Izuku’s face, carefully moving his hands away to brush away his tears. It waits a few minutes for Izuku to calm down, its hands on the teenager’s shoulders so that he wouldn't run away. As for Izuku could run away, his feet still hadn't been formed yet and all he could do was either stand up or lay down for anything to happen.

”But you don't have to go through all of that, little one, you’re still too young and your future is still too bright. It only makes sense to tie loose ends that could damage your future so that it won't worry you anymore. For instance, that boy, Naito Susumu, he was the first student that you’ve taken their quirk away, right?”

Izuku nodded his head, the memory still haunts him.

”Well, I can tell he would want it back, for all anyone knows he’s having a fit much like all teenagers do as they grow. Not using their quirk is one of them and he is a delinquent so I can tell that his quirk is what earned him his place to be different from the others. He’ll want it back, of course, but standing around and waiting for something to happen won't do.”

”You have to come up to him yourself, Izuku, leave a note in his desk, make sure he gets it, meet him somewhere private and where you two are the only ones there. Look at him and I mean look at him straight into his eyes into his very soul and make him know that you’re not to be messed with. Because you are not to be messed with, Izuku Midoriya, you are stronger than anyone else in that hopeless school.”

”Make him feel worthless, make him know that you have the power to take and give away quirks with your bare hands. And when he begs, let him beg, let him drop to his very knees, hear his cries and shuttered apologies that are directed to you and only you, Izuku. Make him know you are better than him and after his little session, you make a deal with him, make him know that if you ever need help that he’ll always be there to benefit you in your troubles.”

”Then and only then is where you finally give him his quirk back and I know what you’re thinking ’how could I do such a thing if I don't know how?’ and I’ll tell you how. You have to place your hand, only one, on his forehead like this.”

It placed its large hand onto Izuku’s forehead, from his obscure blurry vision, Izuku could see the hole in the middle of his palm.

”Keep your hand open wide and your fingers separated, make sure you do this right, or else you’ll send him back to the hospital again. You focus, you calm down and look within yourself for his quirk and you’ll know the quirk when you see it, it’s like a shining star in the vast emptiness that is this plane of existence.”

“You breathe slowly and steadily and you grab onto that quirk and give it back to its original owner. You’ll know when the quirk is gone when the light fades and once it fades away you let go of his forehead and step back.”

It let go of Izuku’s forehead, its smile was thin yet thrilled.

”You’ll need to calm yourself down, you’ll feel a part of yourself feel empty, but you need to know how to get used to that feeling. That feeling will eventually fade away and once it does you’ll feel nothing but the satisfaction that someone else is put on your growing pile of supporters.”

”Did you get that?”

’Yes.’

”Good, that's very good, Izuku.”

Something stirred inside of Izuku, the air shifted as he felt a sudden rush of adrenaline course through him. It smiled even wider even when its form started to fade away alongside the landscape it resided in.

”Let us meet again, Izuku Midoriya, I wish you the best of luck.”

It reached out its hand and ruffled Izuku’s unkempt hair but before Izuku could swat his hand away he was already on his bed. Sweating from head to toe the young teenager quickly went off to write down what he could remember in the landscape and from his quirk. He went over the technique, his palms opening and closing for the extra effect he could feel the hunger of his quirk course through his veins.

Izuku had already gotten ready for school faster than he’d done before, he startled his mother by cooking breakfast for himself so that he could get ready faster. He apologized for not cooking for her and hurried to put his shoes on by the doorway and before his mother could ask why he was so giddy he turned and gave a gleaming smile.

”I’m going to make a friend today!”

Izuku left with a skip in his step leaving his still shocked mother beside the doorway.

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golbrockstar · 3 years

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Jenna reviews 25x25 2-parter again because I finally got the motivation to watch the 25x25 videos haha. Kind of a long one, here we go!

Part 1: Overcoming my BROKEN BACK Trauma (Cliff Diving)

Okay, let’s just say the DRAMATIC CAPITALIZATION is so click bait-y it’s hilarious.

Ngl it’s been cold where I live and this place looks like literal paradise right now.

Fucking Crackhead Colby starts us off not even a minute in lmao

“We gon be doin’ some of the most richy rich bougie bougie shit ever” We GET it your rich, GOD. No, I’m kidding, but sometimes it does seem like they’re showing off, but I would too tbh.

“Haunted and Abandoned-” Oh, so not so richy rich bougie bougie. Sweet. Excited.

They’re gonna get on a boat and there’s a thunderstorm? What demon did they piss off because they have the worst luck, I swear. God the luck thing needs it own post man because damn. And that is a huge boat.

“I- I don’t know how to...drive it.” I love Nate. I relate to his humor.

Hello, Roxanne, I love your accent.

Side Note: Colby’s random bandana around his arm is random.

“The last time this happened to me, Roxanne, I threw up in an air plane.” God, I just love Nate. His one-liners are great. If 25x25 was a TV show, Nate would be my favorite character, no lie (Sorry Sam, Colby, Justin, and Alex)

Captain Sex Magnet omg, glad you’re not lacking the confidence department there Colbs. Of all the things Colby is know for he goes for “Sex Magnet.” Why not like, Captain Emo or something? 😂

Will the Sam’s nipples jokes ever die? Probably not. It’s been years now.

First challenge looks fun, but they hit that water hard man, maybe it’s just the sound effect but it looks painful. But nobody’s hurt and I’m probably being dramatic lol.

Side Note: Looks like Sam has graduated from his little red swim trunks

Aw Justin got sick, poor Justin. He’s so positive though, ready to get back at it. I appreciate that boy.

I love how Justin and Nate do these like majestic swan dives and Sam and Colby just fucking SPLASH. And then they keep falling off the board together.

Oh, those are some dark clouds. Sam’s right, they look evil.

Flawless transition there from thunderstorm to fishing. But at least they didn’t fucking get caught in the storm or anything. Thank god.

“We drink responsibly” HA PAST VIDEOS CALL BULLSHIT YOU ALCOHOLICS

Side Note: Justin is a fast swimmer, damn.

Okay, I’d jump off that cliff. Finally, a 25x25 challenge I’d actually attempt.

Serious props to Sam for this one because I bet after breaking his back there’s some serious anxiety there for him. Was it stupid? Probably but considerably less stupid than jumping off your roof onto a fucking bean-bag. My GOD that was so fucking stupid.

Justin is a badass. He just goes for it off that first cliff while the others move to a shorter one and then Colby, Nate, and Sam are like Nah Bro and Justin’s like fuck yeah I’ll jump and flip off this literal slippery slope.

I totally zoned out Sam and Colby’s end monologue for what’s next because a) I know what’s next lol and b) Nate it just messing with his sunglasses and necklace and totally taking my attention.

As always, gotta give the cinematography and editing some love because they are awesome. That one shot of Sam underwater after having just jumped off the cliff and the voice over? Masterpiece. Wanted more areal shots to see the island, but I mean I’d be worried about losing the drone to the ocean to I see why they probably didn’t do that.

Fun Video! On to part 2!

Part 2: EXPLORING ABANDONED MILITARY SCHOOL (stranded)

Ah, the return of the XPLR thumbnail too. Shocked faces and an arrow pointing to nothing. Wish they would’ve done a “standing in front of *abandoned place* with our arms out” one too, but the scared on is fine lol.

“WHAT”S UP GUYS IT’S SAM AND COLBY” *music plays* “TODAY WE ARE-”

Oh, the sudden wave of nostalgia that gave me for no reason, wow. I didn’t know how much I missed the old videos until this one.

What I didn’t miss? The amount of freaking anxiety they give me. Like this whole video felt like I was there with them, that’s the level of anxiety I had.

They are so like worst case scenario guys too, like I get it, but come on. If it was light outside would you be as freaked out by the other people on the island? Probably not.

I guess that’s all part of the experience though, haha.

This place was really cool. I always think like, yeah, the jungle seems fun but then I remember the fucking spiders and shit that are there and I’m like 100% Nope From Me.

Side Note: I don’t know how people live in Australia, tbh, that place is trying to kill you.

Colby touching all the animals. He just likes small, strange creatures, I guess.

Also they better be careful with those crabs they will fuck you up.

The smaller sand crabs I’ve actually seen in person before! I saw them when my family took a vacation to Florida and they were on the beach at night. They bury themselves in the sand like super-fast but my dad was able to catch a few so we could see them up close and it was cool! They range from really tiny, like dime tiny, to like tennis shoe big or bigger.

I just felt so at home with this video. Like the *LISTEN and the sound effects and the camera angles and the running. This video feels like it just catered to old XPLR fans lol.

The ending though, I was so unsure of what was going to happen. I was like “are they gonna end up stranded and leave us on a cliffhanger? Where did the boat go? What the fuck?”

And then turns out Justin just freaked us out for the laughs. Man, I love that guy.

I am excited for more of these videos. Like, don’t get me wrong, I love the new 25x25 style but it feels really good to see some of the older elements come into play too. I hope Sam and Colby continue to edit at least these next few videos.

#25x25 review

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cbspams · 3 years

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ONF - New World (Performance MV)

The last one. Ahhh, when I first committed to watching RTK, I wasn't sure what to expect and I didn't know anything about the other groups. I'd seen TBZ's Reveal (Catching Fire) which lured me in and I'm grateful for it because I got to see all the other amazing performances everyone pulled off. Beyond just the performances, it was really heartwarming to get little glimpses of the hard work everyone puts into each stage and how they're always supporting each other, within their own teams and outside of it. I would definitely recommend watching RTK if you're interested in getting into any of the groups featured, and even if not I would still recommend watching the performances because they're all so unique in their arrangements and stages. It's the kind of thing that can only happen on a competition show.

Thanks for putting up with all my ranting and know that I love you if you've read all my different thought posts. I hope you all look forward to Kingdom: Legendary War as well, it's gonna be HYPE!

Alright dudes let's get down to it.

Admittedly I did not love ONF for a lot of RTK. They're a great group, but I felt like their stages didn't favor the same kind of theatricality other groups had. And when they were ranked highly for We Must Love + Moscow Moscow (2nd round, My Song) stage, I was frankly a little miffed.

I adored their stage for It's Raining though, and all throughout RTK even if I didn't love them I still thought they were wonderful. Their reactions were so entertaining to watch and their stages were all fun and well executed.

I struggled watching New World a bit because I couldn't get over the fact they went back to more simple performances when It's Raining had been so elaborate.

The performance MV for New World is amazing. I understand the live performance had to be filmed indoors and that because it's indoors and because the stage is black and the stairs are black and the bleachers are black, the impact is different. But I'm really sad about that because the open air film location they did for the performance MV fit the song's vibes so much better. The kind of controlled sunlight, the open air lattices of the building they were standing on, the contrast between the dark outfits the members had and the bright cream of the building's plaster. All of those contributed to such a different vibe for the song, which is so bright and fun.

The opening to the light performance is a short film, similar to ONEUS and Pentagon. I'm not too sure about this but it seems to start with fast cuts from their previous MVs? And then slows down marginally to give a bit of storyline that seems to be a combination of pre and post apocalypse/societal collapse in a fantasy/cyberpunk mix world? Yeah, I dunno I've watched it 4 times and that's the best I could come up with. Especially because the ending shot is several very large meteors crashing through the atmosphere and like, those are pretty deadly so...?

In the pre-performance bit with the ONF members, they had discussed a theme of Pandora's box. Most people know that Pandora's box is a symbol of curses and tragedy, often tied to themes of humanity's greed versus humanity's innocence in listening to the gods. On opening the box, all the diseases and negativity inside flooded out to torment humanity but Hope remains in the box to allow humanity to maintain light in the darkness, and only humanity can give up hope.

NGL I was really excited to see how they would execute that theme. But then?? They kind of treated the box as a time capsule? I could kind of see it like them put their hopes into the box, which is an interesting twist on the tale of Pandora's box but also Confusion because that's definitely not the theme of that story. I kind of let it go though, because maybe they were just borrowing inspiration from the story and not actually trying to represent it.

Moving onto the actual performance and song. The intro is so intense! It's a really interesting fit because the rest of the song is way more dance upbeat/electric. But as far as openings go, pretty impactful and very pleasing to watch the ripple effect with the backup dancers down the aisle.

Again with the colorful flashing lights. Cool? Yes. Contributing to the aesthetic? Not particularly. Productive to the storyline? No. Part of the performance? Yes. Shruggy on this one, I don't really have anything to add that I haven't mentioned in previous commentaries.

I do really like the song though. Just as a piece of music, it's so fun to listen to and has definitely joined the ranks of my usual kpop bops. The kind of light, fast electro beat is something to jam to. Wyatt's voice is just so good, especially as part of the pre-chorus. The contrast makes it delightful to go from verse one to chorus. The lyrics and message of the song are really well thought out and executed as well, talking about reaching a better world and turning away from hurting each other/the environment/generally being hurtful.

OKAY. So this part is actually something I really adored: the sort of robotic formation. Wherein the members stand in the center of several backup dancers who seem to place on pieces or armor or something onto the member's limbs. A very clean cut, fast paced dance sequence that really strongly reminded me of early iron man scenes in which the different parts of armor were installed on the body. Also lowkey reminiscent of magical girl transformation hahahaha. But it's done so cleanly and while the camera angles make it hard to focus, it's still such a treat to watch. AND THEN. The members come up to the shoulders of the backup dancers and for Wyatt's lines, they're just!! In control! If y'all have watched power rangers or Gundam or Aquarion or Neon Evangelion or like, any of those then you know what I'm talking about, in which the human character slides into some massive machine and controls them from the inside to fight monsters (kaiju) and stuff. And the next bit with J-US and the hands! Creative, interesting imagery, just a complete delight to watch. It's just sooooo fun and I love that for ONF, I really do.

I genuinely think that their theme doesn't make much sense without the context of the lyrics and even then it still feels clunky and sort of inspired by rather than actually embodying the concept. So I'd dock point for them for that personally because I think that when themes are introduced and performed, they should show up as more than just a simple prop. But also I acknowledge that dance and musical performances like this (not musicals) aren't necessarily intended to be storytelling, especially in 4th gen kpop. I do like their theme with the keys and opening, I feel like the performance would have been enhanced if instead of using pandora's box, they choose to use the gateway to the new world. A bit on the nose but a lot more impactful with the key turning bit after the second chorus.

On the key turning bit with the weird holographic box: Dude. Those backup dancers? So clean. Nice stiff steps that feel very robotic which goes wonderfully with the costumes. The keys they each take actually read RTK ONF if you go clockwise from the left (MK). Just a neato little fact. Attention to detail is so good. And the timing of the key turns, of course it was gonna be to the beat but like still! Satisfying af.

Why Wyatt grabs the box and slams it to the ground I don't know. Maybe it has to do with the line dive into new world.

The high notes. Again. Literally just. What the fuck guys, they're so good. I'm gonna cry. The stability, the pitch, just. (sobbing)

The LED screen in the back is interesting? Is it supposed to be a door into the new world? Probably?

Dance break!! Guitar solo!! The door tradition into the weird stripey LED screens that just feels so chaotic and kinda like I'm going through a movie warp portal. Somehow when combined together it all works lmao??

I love the bridge. There's no reason for it, I just love Wyatt's fast paced lines and the kind of dun dun dun fast tempo beat tapping.

The ending of running away from the camera, towards the little cliffs and the LED screen was a good choice because the last lines refer to how they'll never stop as long as they're alive. Not the most impactful ending but definitely satisfying given the song's lyrics and meaning. Again, that lack of pandora's box kind of haunts me?

Overall if I consider this ONF performance compared to their others it doesn't feel quite as thought out and executed. Similar to their We Must Love + Moscow Moscow performance where I couldn't really see the marionette theme, I couldn't really understand the idea of Pandora's box in this performance and I really wish they had chosen perhaps a gateway to the new world or some other theme instead because it would fit much better. It's also a little lackluster compared to the performance MV that had a lot of contrast which created more focus and contributed more to the atmosphere of the performance.

Still, as a performance on it's own, it does pretty well and I'm really happy for ONF to have performed it. Thank you RTK for introducing me to this song and to ONF in general, I hope they continue to release some really good stuff.

#admin talk #rtk commentary #rtk performance comments

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currentlyreadingmanga · 4 years

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Toilet-bound Hanako-kun: Chapter 9 - The Young Exorcist (Part 1)

Previously: we’ve dealt with the confession tree, and Hanako and Yashiro filled my heart with feelings. It was a mostly light-hearted chapter, with a lot of funny moments but that last scene we had with them was very sweet and a solid foundation for their relationship to keep growing. I’m glad that we could see that even if Hanako does have a very teasing nature, he actually seems to genuinely care about Yashiro and he can be serious when he needs to be.

Now onto the next chapter!

Ohhhh okay it seems we are shifting the focus onto the Minamoto brothers with a flashback (I’m guessing the Minamoto-senpai Yashiro had a crush on is Kou’s older brother because same last name and they do look alike (fun fact: I mistoke them from one another when Kou was first introduced because of their looks and because we don’t know the older brother’s first name, but then I noticed they had different colour hair. I guess I would have been more confused if I hadn’t been watching the anime)

Anyway, the flashback. It seems to be set when senpai (I’m calling him that until we get a name) was eight years old and he’s fighting a....thing....that will probably haunt my nightmares at some point....but yeah, they ones overseeing him point out that he’s very skilled for his age but that also is to be expected of him. So I��m guessing he must be a very well regarded exorcist now if he was THAT talented when he was a child....which makes me wonder why he hasn’t done anything about the aparitions around the school. Is only Kou in charge of it?

Look at this baby. Look at him, my heart, he’s so cute. Kou is one year younger than Yashiro, right? and if Minamoto is a second year in hs (if I’m remembering correctly), then he should be six years old here, right? Smol bean

He jumps to hug his brother but senpai doesn’t seem happy that Kou followed him to his....training, I guess? Since he seems to be surpervised by a couple of men. And it makes sense, they’re both very young and things could go wrong, especially if no one know Kou is there

And here we also see that Kou is very excited to follow up on his brothers footsteps and wants to be a great exorcist like his brother and it’s very on par with his attitude when we first met him and he tried to exorcise Hanako

But he then says “that’s what I always wanted, but...” and we cut next to him with his friends but looking back at Hanako in the hallway. And ah, the title for this week is “the young exorcist (part 1)”, so that means we’ll get a more Kou-centric chapter(s)? Exciting! That “but” and the cover page make me think that it’s very likely that he’s having doubts about the whole “beat all the supernaturals” thing since Hanako has been a pretty alright guy so far. If that’s the case, it could set up a good internal conflict for his character

This poor child is such a third wheel right now lol It’s okay, Kou, you’ll get used to their banter

But hey, it looks like Yashiro is trying to continue from where we left of last time when she decided she wanted to get to know Hanako better. Well, at least that’s what I think she’s trying to do with this compatibility horoscope

Okay, yeah, she’s definitely trying to get more information under the guise of the horoscope lol but Hanako doesn’t seem to want to cooperate. And I mean, it makes sense since I see him as someone who pretends to be carefree but doesn’t actually share important details about himself until he feels completely comfortable. After all the only reason we even know he killed someone is because Kou told us.

“If you wann do a compatibility horoscope, do it with one of your crushes. Like Minamoto-senpai or somebody” well, try not to sound so salty, mister

Kou is surprised by these news and Yashiro is saying that her crush on senpai is more akin to having a crush on an idol, someone you just admire from afar. And yeah, considerering how minimal their actual interactions were, and she realized that she doesn’t really know much about him besides what’s public knowledge

Well, speak of the devil and he shall appear lol He has the pretty boy sparkles and everything, huh? I can understand why Yashiro was so infatuated with him, he’s one handsome guy. Also if I was in this situation right now, I would crawl into a hole and die because that’s so embarrasing omg

We have a name! Teru Minamoto, okay, easy to remember. We have upgrade from senpai to Teru. And he’s thanking Yashiro for being kind to Kou, awwww

oH. That...that doesn’t look good..........that smells like trouble. Also the change from sweet older brother figure to that cold look he threw towards Hanako was quick and a bit terrifying ngl

He’s pulled Kou aside and now they’re talking and he’s reminding him that if he encounters any of the seven mysteries, he should expel them immendiately but Kou doesn’t look too happy.

Ohhh okay, Teru says that they are aware of recent change in the supernaturals’ behaviou recently and that they hadn’t acted because they hadn’t put the students in danger before. And we know that’s true if we think about the mokke and how they said that they had been living in peace with the humans at the school for a long time until their story changed and they didn’t have another choice but to do as the rumors said

He also mentions that the seven mysteries are the most powerful and dangerous supernaturals in the school. Which makes sense, since Hanako mentioned that the seven are the ones controlling the seven boundaries between this world and the spirit world.

Here we seem to get a glimpse of some of the others, but most aren’t really distinguishable. We have Yakko and Hanako, then at the far left I think there’s some sort of mask, then there’s two silhouettes, and then we have what seems to be a girl holding something in her hands and then a mirror besides her.

But yeah, Teru says that since these seven are the most problematic, they should erradicate them first and foremost. Which, from a logical point of view makes sense but since we’re privy to their behaviour and we know that we could change things if we change the rumors, I want to say please do not exorcise my baby, he’s trying to keep the balance

And it seems Kou agrees with me. Hanako still pisses him off but he admits that the little sassy ghost has been really helpful (and he even protected Kou during their escapade to the Misaki Stairs despite saying he wouldn’t). Teru really seems to disagree, though, and

oH. Again. It really seems like Teru has his mind set about this. Like, I guess it make sense, we saw that they were trained from a young age and they are part of a legendary clan that has been exorcising spirits for generations, so the history probably doesn’t have much to say in favour of the apparitions

He also answers the question I had before about why it was just Kou going after the mysteries: apparently he had thought it would be a good way to let Kou grow as an exorcist but he now sees it had the opposite effect since he’s feeling sympathy for Hanako.

“I’m taking you off the seven mysteries case” that’s-that’s really not good if his glare to Hanako earlier is anything to go by. “I’ll clean up this mess” yiKES

Oh, okay, it seems like Kou managed to buy himself some more time before his brother intervenes. And yes, here’s the internal conflict I was hoping for

He knows what his duty is but he also has grown to care for not only Hanako but also (and especially) Yashiro. So there’s not only the fact that Hanako has been helpful but also the fact that Yashiro clearly cares a lot for the ghost since she protected him the first time they met. Kou seemed like a really sweet guy and all this just reinforces that notion.

Okay, so now has make it his mission to find evidence to prove to his brother that Hanako is not a bad supernatural. And it’s not a bad plan, since he would need to keep a close eye on Hanako either way, so it works in his favour.

I.....Hanako, sweetie, why-what-

Okay, he’s clearly collecting things with the help of the mokke and putting it in the big sack he’s carrying. But yeah, it really doesn’t help his case when Kou is trying to prove he’s not suspicious

Pfffft Kou really needs to work on his sneaking abilities since he almost got discovered by a teacher and immediately after that Hanako found him. Although Hanako probaly already knew he was being watched

Also

The ghost child really has no notion of personal space, huh? It’s not just Yashiro who has to deal with him all up in her face

I really love their dynamic, they’re so silly together

Omg

Kou looks so distraugh here omg like “omfg please i’m trying to prove you’re a good guy why are you doing with all this stuff WH Y”

But Hanako is quick to point out that he’s actually collecting the things the mokke stole so he can give them back to the owners. And that this is happening because even though Yashiro changed the rumor, the mokke still feel the need to steal objects from people. And I hadn’t thought about it, but it makes sense since they’ve been doing it for so long and the rumor still technically says that they steal things from you even if now there’s a way to stop them from killing people

I just wanna head pat this cute child look at him.

Now Hanako is asking Kou to help him retrieve something that was stuck up in one of the towrs surrounding the school. My first question is why can’t Hanako float up there since he a ghost but it looks like Kou is asking the same thing and apparently he can’t float that high. Huh, okay. That kinda sucks and seems inconvenient but okay, good to know.

And Hanako is apologizing for making him go through all this trouble but he insisted because the item seemed like it would be important for somebody. He seems honest and Kou is once again hit by the feeling that Hanako is not really a bad supernatural. And yeah, it’s like I said earlier: there’s probably not a good record of supernaturals doing good deeds and that’s what his family knows after generations spent fighting spirits. But Kou is hopeful that maybe his brother wasn’t totally right and that, as Hanako has been demostrating, good supernaturals can exist.

Oh no. While Hanako seems to have caught what they were looking for, he also slipped from Kou’s grasp and that’s not good....well...kinda. I mean, he’s a ghost, right? Like, this sounds horrible but he’s already dead, so he can’t get too hurt from this fall............right?

I feel like this chapter has been full of me just gushing about what a good boy Kou is and honestly? he is and I regret nothing

He’s so worried ahhhh but Hanako is okay and they remembered that the ghost was in fact a ghost so risk no greater than a couple of ghost bruises

AHHHHH

Just. This whole page. It’s so precious. Look at them sharing a laugh together because they were being dummies and then Kou finding out that the thing Hanako was working so hard to get back because it looked important was his earring ahhhhhhh that’s so cute omg look at them!! I didn’t even noticed his earring was gone! (I checked again and he had it when the three of them were talking but it was already gone when he had his talk with Teru. I guess the mokke he had on his lap took it. That was a nice subtle detail)

Awww and he’s made his decision. He believes that Hanako is proof that there are good supernaturals so he won’t exorcise him. Hanako looks shocked and is asking him what made him change his mind since Kou had himself said that he was “the evil spirit of a murderer”.

Kou says that he’s sorry because he didn’t know any better and that he’s sure that Hanako had his reason for what he did but-

...........He makes a fair point. Like, at this point we know very little about Hanako’s life and motives. The only fact that seems to be certain at this point is that he has killed someone when he was alive, but we don’t know any of the circumstances around it. He has had moments where he looked and acted with what appeared to be malice, like when he told Yashiro that crying wouldn’t solve anything, and when he pointed his knife at Kou during their first meeting and when he explained to them that scary experiences are the ones that stick in your memory the most. There’s been an underlying aura of danger in Hanako that’s impossible to ignore, there’s no denying that. But there’s still the fact that he has done everything in his power to protect Yashiro and now Kou in dangerous situations. So a part of me believes that there has to be a reasonable explanation for his actions; if we take the really angsty route I would guess that he did it as an act of self-defense or something like that. But yeah, “when is it right to kill someone?” is a very tricky question

............................ah. that underlying danger i mentioned? here it is again, back at full force.

But also the look on his eyes, while the swirls give off that crazy vibe, the wobbliness and his overall expression convey a very hopeless feeling, I don’t know, he just looks very distressed. To me it looks like he really doesn’t want to do this, but he also needs to prove his point to Kou

(ﾟдﾟ；) (ﾟдﾟ；) (ﾟдﾟ；)

Oh no (ﾟдﾟ；) (I stand corrected: I’ve spent only half of this chapter gushing about Kou, the other half I’ve been going “oh no” almost every time Teru appears)

And again: the quick switch from “pleasant charming” smile”to “I will destroy you” look is terrifying. This does not bode well oh man oh man next chapter is gonna be crazy and stressful

#toilet bound hanako kun #jibaku shounen hanako kun #live blogging #jshk spoilers #tbhk #jshk

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dio-roga · 4 years

Photo

After years of stalling, this is finally seeing the light of day and thank actual jesus for that. There’s more fic out there than you’d think for the best boys, but like all things, sturgeon's law’s in effect when it comes to quality (big time actually, around 35 fics on this list from a rough 350 in existence). I read them all so you don’t have to.

Higher rank the better (though obviously YMMV) and the rest should just be ordered by word count. I have a place in my heart for everything on this list so no matter where it is or what I say about it, trust me, if it’s here, I think it’s worth your time.

Will do my best to keep things up to date. I F5 tabs like you wouldn’t believe. Love you guys ❤

[SSS RANK] ABSOLUTE TOP SHELF

ego, opinion, art & commerce 24parts

We hopefully all know it, we certainly all love it. The canon-compliant, rock-band road-trip AU that’s destined to rule the entire ship one day; the cryde child of prophecy. Go in hard and this’ll take you away like nothing else. The only thing not absolutely perfect about this fic is (like the rest of us) you’ll have to wait for the ending. I know waiting sucks, but please don’t let it stop you bingeing this story right now. I am not exaggerating when I say it’s better than most published books you’ll ever read.

let your heart hold fast niente

Literally the best finished cryde fic ever written as of time of writing this. The boys have grown up. Clyde’s a writer, Craig’s distant, and familiar circumstances bring them crashing back together. The cast of characters are a complete joy, it’s fully drenched in canon, and sports an amazingly rich post-series lore with all manner of cute nods and easter eggs for fans of the show. Nothing short of a masterpiece. Written with such love. Treasure your first read of it.

[SS RANK] AMAZING READS GAURANTEED

Pulling Mussels SekritOMG

A divisive fic maybe, but a classic all the same. Get ready for a fresh take on normal fic conventions to be sure. Personally? I’d consider it top shelf, no question. But to others? They might end up absolutely hating it. A strange midlife odyssey wherein a fed-up, lonely Craig begrudgingly reconnects with an out-of-shape, stagnated Clyde. Memorable to say the least, packed to bursting with detail and personality; go in with the right mindset and its glorious set pieces with burn themselves into your memories. Possibly the fic I’ve re-read the most ever.

Darkness Falls Vampiracy

Do you like cute, gorgeously written things? Set during the three days of Stick of Truth, it tells the behind-the-scenes story of Craig’s growing infatuation with the Lord of Darkness. Everything about this is clever and charming and just generally heart-warming. Best read after playing the game for maximum enjoyment, feel smart and accomplished as you pick out all the references. This fic’s adorable and pure and can do no wrong.

Chicken Vampiracy

The gateway fic? Huge question mark? This story is cryde personified. Like the author distilled the ships very essence into this amazingly funny and light-hearted story about the boys playing the world’s most drawn out game of gay chicken. It’s impossible not to love this story, it’s perfect for what it is, and will leave you feeling happy by the end every time. What more could you want? Show this one to your friends and they’ll finally ‘get’ cryde.

the remains of our sky traiyadhvika

I’ll level with you fam, this story will emotionally cripple you, prepared or not. The writing is precise, sublime, and utterly heart-breaking. It tells the story of how Craig deals with the aftermath of Clyde’s death on Everest. Obviously a heavy topic, but I can tell you with complete confidence that this fic not only does the subject matter justice, but also manages to tell a story of love and hope despite it. Like Butters said, it’s a beautiful sadness. This fic had me obsessively researching mountains for weeks, and anything that can light that kind of fire in you is something special.

C & C, The Mystery Duo Darkyfoot

There is nothing in here but pure fluff, joy and happiness. This story will lighten your soul and brighten your heart. It tells the tale of the boys discovering a life-long obsession for hunting mysteries, and will resonate with anyone who’s ever held a strong passion in their lives (which is probably most of you, if you’re hunting down SP fics to read). The written equivalent of a warm blanket and a steaming hot mug of cocoa on a cold winter’s night.

[S RANK] THE REALLY GOOD STUFF

Equality Donkerblauw Fluweel

A good chill-out fic? Cataloguing a series of parties over the summer in which Clyde starts cozying up to Craig after much alcohol is consumed; and like a good drink, the fic mixes all its elements together nicely. It’s nothing ground breaking, but it’s got a super relaxing flow to it, and will brighten your mood by the end. It nails the party atmosphere, so if you’ve got no-where to go this Friday night, maybe pour yourself a little something and give this one a read.

Craig Likes Vanilla (Ice Cream) themuffintitan

The cuteness equivalent of porn. If you’ve got a list of cliché ‘aww’ scenarios, chances are they’ll play out in this fic. If hand holding and sharing an ice-cream make you melt (hahanotfunny) then this one’s definitely for you. For a fairly simple story about Craig and the squad visiting a waterpark, it’s remarkably detailed (check that word count fam), and has a killer summer atmosphere to boot. It certainly made me hit up a park last July. The writing does let it down in a few areas, but overall you’ll probably be too busy enjoying the ride to notice.

The Silent Lie Donkerblauw Fluweel

Guilty pleasure? Okay you caught me red-handed. This fic’s practically porn. Read all about how Clyde learns to surrender his heterosexuality as Craig massages away all his football injuries in the steamiest way possible. If I’m being totally honest? The story’s pretty obviously there to frame the smut, and writing can be a bit all over the place. But I can’t deny it just works. It’s hot AF. Come here for the sexies and you won’t leave disappointed. Read it after dark. ;)

Press Play flappySp00kster

Arguably unfinished, but the only thing missing is apparently a mostly superfluous epilogue. We’re in full AU territory here as Clyde hooks up with Craig on a dating app during a rough-patch with his long-time, and now ex, girlfriend. Your mileage may vary obviously as the story’s not canon compliant; however the boys behave like you’d imagine and the romance is nicely fleshed out and unique. Bonus points for a bit of kink in the sex scenes, which is rarer than you’d expect for this ship.

What Happened in 1637 pinkfloyd1770

One of the most strikingly unique stories out there; it’s essentially a flower shop AU in which Clyde embraces his Dutch heritage and sports and encyclopedic knowledge on tulip facts. Written in medias res during a seemingly long since established relationship with Craig, this fic merely offers a look into this unique take on the couple as they go about their lives. The detail is stunning, and you’ll find vivid mental pictures coming to life in every scene. If you can get past the fact Craig bottoms (let’s pretend he was feeling generous that evening) then you’ll certainly be charmed with this one. (1637 is the year the tulip bubble finally popped. In case you were wondering.)

Around My Head wendybirb

Are you looking for something that’s light and fluffy? Maybe you like reading Clyde’s inner monologue as he fumbles around high-key pining over his best friend? Perfect, sign yourself up to this fic; it’s a quick and easy read that’ll give you your daily dose of wholesomeness from one of my favorite authors. Nothing overly flashy or complicated here, just boys being cute and kissing.

hey there demons traiyadhvika

This spooky affair is thankfully a lot less of an emotional roller-coaster than it’s cousin ‘remains of our sky’, but that’s not to say it doesn’t grab you and refuse to let go. Have you ever wondered what Craig and Clyde would be like trying to host one of those dorky haunted house shows? Bonus points in that Craig can legitimately see ghosts? It’s a fresh concept that’ll really get your mind racing with the cutest hosts you could ask for. Kept me glued to my seat, ready to throw down if any bad spirits came between the best boys. Slept with the hall lights on for a couple nights ngl.

As Good a Reason as Any Vampiracy

The last of the sacred trinity that also includes Chicken and Darkness Falls, the only reason this fic isn’t ranked higher is because it’s also the authors shortest. Watching Clyde try anything and everything to spend more time with Craig is as endearing as it sounds, and the only thing that sucks is that it doesn’t overstay its welcome; when honestly, you’d like the fic to stay for dinner and spend the night. Quality everything. No joke made my heart flutter. Read it and know true happiness.

Kiss It Better dokidave

A one and done story of Craig trying to cheer Clyde up after a difficult day. This fic’s a nice double whammy if you’re looking for some hurt and comfort mixed in with some steamy sex scenes. It delivers exactly what is says on the box; don’t expect too much in the way of plot of development, but certainly feel free to gush over the sappy sweet character moments. A good pick-me-up fic if you’re having a lousy day.

Take a Chance (You Say It's Your Birthday) Miaou Jones (miaoujones)

So here we have Craig being drunk and vulnerable, while Clyde’s radiating raw sexuality as he dances for Craig’s camera. I’m usually all about Craig giving off that top energy, but the way this story frames (hahakillme) the whole dynamic is very soft and endearing; you can fully understand why Craig’s the one feeling thirsty this time around. This is a fic that really knows how to set a mood. Read it and feel like you’re being pampered.

You Make It Easier glowworm888

Pure comfort; Clyde’s feeling understandably miserable about the thought of growing up without his mom, and Craig’s doing his best to help Clyde cope. Wholesome dumb teenagers looking out for each other and low-key falling in love. I dare you not to feel all happy inside as Clyde slowly begins to feel better as Craig looks after him. Adorable throughout, the ending is very much them. Another good read for making a crappy day a better one.

Miss you x Vampiracy

A true hidden gem by one of the best authors in the whole fandom; we have here the best fic in which Clyde doesn’t even appear. The whole schoolyard gang give their two cents on Craig’s spiraling mental state as he tries desperately to justify a typo to Clyde during an obsessive summer-long texting marathon. Legitimately funny from start to finish, with buttery-smooth dialogue and a big soft ending that’ll have you grinning ear-to-ear for completely different reasons. Love it, cherish it, and dream of more. Vampiracy ̶ we’ll miss you x.

[A RANK] SHORT AND SWEET

Whatever Gets You Through The Night Miaou Jones (miaoujones)

There’s a lot of mixed feelings for me in this fic. A love-letter to Clyde and his parents, in which Craig gets caught up on the whole ‘love’ part of it, having trouble fully expressing himself due to some heavy personal baggage. The Donovan’s really shine in this story. Betsy’s alive and massively comforting, Roger’s family values personified, and Clyde’s being a sweetheart to end all sweethearts. It’s confronting, more than a little emotionally messy, but it’s none the less a story that’ll stay with you. Check the comments for a hidden stinger.

Some Dieting Donkerblauw Fluweel

Clyde’s self-image problems are the focus this time around, doing a commendable job pushing the ideas of healthy progress, properly looking after yourself and feeling comfortable letting others help out. It’s a good length for the story it is, and although the writing gets a little spotty in parts you’ll be unlikely take too much notice. Like Clyde, this one’s hearts in the right place.

If Time Could Stand Still WeCryde

I used to stumble across this story semi-regularly back in the day, wondering if I’d missed it before realizing we’d already been well acquainted. The amount of show rather than tell is fairly distracting, with the entire meat of the relationship relegated to backstory. There’s still something here though. Perhaps in the way it deals with long-distance relationships and just distance in general. Maybe the hopeless romantic in me resonates with the plight of two idiots with thousands of miles between them. See if it works for you?

The Edges of the Atmosphere Miaou Jones (miaoujones)

There should be some sort of law that states that confessions in cryde stories have to be some level of stupid or convoluted. These two are physically incapable of expressing such feelings to each other in any standard normie way. So enjoy some classic spaceman Craig tropes while Clyde juggles being cute and awkward like a pro. Trigger warning for some racy hand-holding action; we’re talking interlocking fingers here.

Standby Flier Cheesebirb (Hi Mark ;)

So upfront, this story isn’t even a romance quite honestly. It’s just a cute bromance sort of affair at most, in which the boys share a hotel room together while waiting on a flight back home. You could quite certainly interpret it as the start of something deeper, as the fic gladly provides hints to support it; however there’s nothing to see here apart from the two personalities bouncing off each other, and sometimes that’s enough. A memorable little story that might resonate that little bit extra if you’re a frequent traveler.

Bust and Boom Azul_Bleu

Clyde fumbling with the realization that he’s got the hots for Craig isn’t new ground, that’s about the only ‘downside’ I could give this story. What it does with this premise however is deliver some pitch-perfect characterizations, snappy pacing, a good variety of settings, and some surprisingly touching moments given its brevity. It’s also loaded with lines that stand up off the page and stick with you and those are always worth their weight in gold; the author really squeezes a lot out of the short word count.

Forts Can Be Fun wendybirb

In which little Craig builds a pillow fort and little Clyde is invited. It’s a soft story with some cute exchanges, if you’re looking for a more innocent kid-cryde vibe then this one can scratch the itch. Short and sweet by definition. Go read it and give yourself a little smile.

Ennui dsfgajkh

This simple story’s a real blink and you’ll miss it; detailing some introspective thoughts Clyde’s having about the monotony of small town life and his fascination with his much more interesting best friend. At nearly a decade old, this story pre-dates Pandemic, which solidified the usual stoic Craig tropes that came after so it’s an awesome little time capsule back to those days where apathetic Clyde and flamboyant Craig was as good a guess as any. There’s a line about skittles that makes it worth the ten minute read.

Neighbors Vampiracy

So remember that time that Vampiracy wrote one of the most realistic and precious depictions of little Craig and Clyde playing with toy trucks in the backyard, but then it got buried in the depths of tumblr? Try not to smile when Clyde beams over the prospect of making a new friend and being able to show off the hole he’s dug; I completely and utterly dare you. Bratty Craig is my spirit animal and I’d die for more adventures with him at the Donovan house. I’m such a sucker for cutesy pre-school fluff I swear; just like you will be when you’re done reading this.

Shine On How You Shine On Miaou Jones (miaoujones)

Real talk? I’m a sucker for all things Brokeback Mountain, and this fic’s just neatly slotting in Craig and Clyde as the cowboys sharing a rough and confusing night in a tent together. The story is exactly what you’d think if you’ve read the original, and it hits all the same thematic beats. Guilty pleasure alert in full here. If you’re in the mood for hearing Clyde Twist tense up as Craig Delmar spits on his hand behind him then I won’t judge if you don’t. I’d unironically read ten more chapters.

Two Weeks toddintops

Yeah-yeah I know I’m stretching the definition of fic with this one, it’s barely a half thousand words; but hey, better five hundred words that make you feel something than ten thousand that leave you feeling the same. A short, sharp dose of angst with some beautiful art accompanying, what have you got to lose? Something about Clyde’s smile, coupled with the bittersweet lines near the end has always managed to stay with me. Maybe it’ll strike a chord with you too.

UNFINISHED (BUT STILL GREAT)

Ask Craig obitotxt (Password is 12345)

Hop on board the angst express; with the last stop being yourself when you realize the story comes crashing off the rails and never hits the end. Is the fact this blog never reached a conclusion one of the great tragedies of our modern era? Yeah, kinda. Fact is, this is probably the only cryde-centric askblog-formatted story out there; and yeah, it’s hyperbolic at times, but goddamn if it doesn’t make you feel something. Packed to the brim with boys being boys, memorable moments and just so much heart, you’ll be pressing F (and F5) for days after you reach the final unfinished pages.

One More Year llexxii

And here’s a weird way to recommend something: you probably don’t want to read this one. It’s very long, it’s very dead, and it has a fairly submissive Craig coupled with a rather unlikable rendition of Clyde. So why’m I even talking about this, and really, I’ve not got much of an answer for you. Just that this fic, despite everything, has some consistently excellent writing. The flashback scenes to Craig and Clyde as young kids are total gems. There’s stuff to love here, and maybe it could have been something great; if nothing else, maybe check it out as an interesting look into the ships history.

Turn It Around, Get a Rewrite wendybirb

This one hurts, in just about every respect. Prepare for angst story wise as we follow along with the life and times of Craig, reconnecting with a clearly troubled yet desperately pining Clyde, who seems scared shitless about his dying claims to heterosexuality. I genuinely love this story. It’s raw and emotional and angry and sexy, it comes across messy and real and does an amazing job making you care about the boys while also showing their more frustrating attributes. I’m still holding out hope it’ll one day take its place with the greats, but until then, the hardest gut-punch is always that “unfinished” tag.

January White (Love Is a Stain) Dovakiin

Here we’ve got a different kind of tragedy. The usual formula is a promising author burning out after an amazing opening run, but here we’ve got a story that never even made it past the kickoff. It’s such a shame. The eponymous metaphor and the solemn tone throughout is honestly pretty captivating; I would love to see how this take on the characters would have played. Spare ten minutes from your day and give yourself something to reflect on with this abandoned beginning.

NOT FULL CRYDE, BUT CLOSE ENOUGH

ask MARSH and BROFLOVSKI jovishark

You know what? Fuck it. I’m putting this one here and no one can stop me. This ask blog is practically fandom required reading at this point, and I couldn’t in good conscience not mention it. Stan and Kyle answer your questions, the plotline reads like something from a CW show, and Craig and Clyde don’t even end up together. I love it genuinely. If you pressed me, this story might be what got me into the fandom; pressed me harder, it’s what got me into cryde (again ironic as cryde isn’t endgame here). Always worth a read or a re-read. Pretend Craig and Clyde sorted things out in college if you need to.

Brace Yourself skyline

Okay so it’s a style story, let’s get that elephant in the room well and truly pointed out from the outset. If it’s a deal breaker for you that cryde isn’t the focus, then move along, but I guarantee for those that stay, there’s a charmingly written cryde side-ship playing out in tandem to Stan’s quest to win over his super best friend. There’s a lot to love about this story, the writings sharp and surprisingly powerful at times, and the characters are a joy to watch. Watching the cryde story unfold from Stan’s POV is a unique experience that you won’t really find anywhere else.

Remove Before Flight skyline

So remember Brace Yourself from literally just one entry up? Okay, same concept, same author. This is a different timeline in which Kenny’s the lucky protagonist trying to win Kyle’s heart, but like before, you’re treated to an enjoyable cryde sub-plot playing on in the background of the K2 drama. The writing’s still on-point, the characters are still great; if you liked the authors other story (which I’d advise reading first), you’ll definitely enjoy this one too. It’s cute how Craig and Clyde always seem destined for each other in this universe.

#cryde #fanfic #clyde donovan #craig tucker #cryderecs #we should probs be friends if youve read them all #❤️

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vivacia-18 · 4 years

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May the 4th be with you recs!

Because fanfic is the reason I’m finally getting into Star Wars after all these years XDD

I’m gonna include the fic summaries and my takes, so plopping these under a cut for length. If you haven’t already read these, please go give them some love. And if you have, go give them some more! XD

I’m a fix-it, (at least mostly) everybody lives and (hopefully) nobody dies kinda gal, so while I certainly like something that hits in the feels, I don’t care for angst with no payoff at the end. Many of these are ongoing, but I’m confident enough in the overall feel of them to rec with that in mind. I also like long fics, so most of my recs will reflect that.

Hunting Towards Heartstill by blackkat

Pairing: Mace Windu/ CC-2224 Cody

Status: Complete, 45 chapters

Summary: Plo has an idea. Mace agrees, and everything snowballs right into hell from there.

(Or: Mace and Cody get married in order to give the clones citizen status. Before they can focus on that, though, they're going to have to deal with ancient Sith artifacts, evil prophets, plots to overthrow the Supreme Chancellor, lost planets, monsters warped by Sith alchemy, inconvenient feelings, and Darth Sidious turning his eye on a potential new apprentice. Just...not in that order.)

Notes: Kat’s going to have her whole section recc’d in a minute, but this one is near and dear to my heart, so it get’s a special spot. This is the one that got me into the Star Wars fandom at all. And by “into the fandom” I mean I have never seen/read a single piece of Star Wars media outside of gifsets and funky graphic t-shirts in my entire life. And now here we are XDD

In short, as with anything kat writes, the characterization is top-notch, the wit even more so, and the feels will leave you broken to pieces only to bring you back together better than when you started at the end of it all. Enjoy <3

All of blackkat’s Star Wars fics, by she who never expected to be a part of this fandom so everyone thank sol for being a bastard and cher for having terrible, amazing, tempting, too-good prompts XD

Notes: As promised, I did indeed just link all of blackkats Star Wars fics XD Most are one shots, with several longer ongoing, and one very special one complete. Pairings and settings will vary, but I can promise you one thing: you can absolutely trust kat with your heart, no matter how angsty it seems (tho take those cliffie warnings seriously!). Enjoy, and may the Force be with you! <3

The Hero With a Thousand Faces by beamirang

Pairing: Jango/Obi-Wan

Status: Part 1 is a one-shot prologue, part 2 ongoing

Summary: “We’re going to kidnap a Jedi?” Boba sounds far more excited by the prospect than most twelve-year-olds probably should. And, because he’s Jango’s boy, because he’s too kriffing smart for his own good, he catches on way too quickly. “Wait. Are we kidnapping your Jedi?”

Notes: Fantastic characterization and writing - very witty (as one would expect with Obi and Fett XD) but also excellent on the heavier emotional aspects as well.

The Desert Storm by Blue_Sunshine

Pairing: None

Status: 17 parts complete, part 18 ongoing

Summary: In Tatooine legend, the sandstorm is Lukka, the Fury, both cleansing and damning. Lukka, the slaves believed, was Justice, was he who remade the world, and remade the soul.The storm screams at him, and Obi-Wan Kenobi screams back.

Notes: It’s a time travel fic! It’s one of my favourite tropes when done correctly, and this one certainly does :) Love the characters, they have so much depth and growth over the series. And while this far it is 100% a “everybody lives nobody dies” kinda story, there is no sacrifice in plot or narrative tension. Wonderful proof that there can be other narrative stakes in a story than just character death.

Under One Flag by NeurotropicAgentX

Pairing: Padme Amidala/Obi-Wan Kenobi/Darth Maul

Status: Two single chapter parts. Marked as incomplete with no further updates since 2017, but the chapters stand alone, no cliffhangers.

Summary: The story of how Padmé Amidala becomes the reluctant Empress of the galaxy and acquires a pair of Force-sensitive bodyguards. Deals with the light and dark side conflict, the politics of an Empire, and Dathomirian Culture.

Notes: A fun little read! The dynamics between the three were interesting, and who doesn’t love the idea of Empress Padme? :D

By A Barista by Tomatosoupful

Pairing: Obi-Wan/Anakin

Status: Complete, 7 chapters

Summary: Obi-Wan/Anakin, Modern Coffee Shop AU unapologetically set in Australia. Some Star Wars story lines and character arcs adapted into modern coffee versions.Anakin doesn't really know why Qui-Gon hired him despite having no experience in coffee making or table service, and he knows this bothers the barista, Obi-Wan, but hey, at least he gets to look at the handsome guy while he complains.

Notes: Another fun little read! I love social disaster Ani in modern settings, ngl XD

The Snowball Effect by Ghost_Owl

Pairing: Obi-Wan/Anakin

Status: Complete, 2 chapters

Summary: Anakin had not meant to nail the cute guy from his building in the face with a snowball.Obi Wan had absolutely meant to hit him back.

Notes: Another cute read! Once again Ani is a disaster, and Obi-Wan only less so by direct comparison XD I particularly remember this story for the author coining the phrase I now recognize as my favourite paring trope - two halves of a whole idiot XDD

Reprise by Elfpen

Pairing: None

Status: 7 parts, current part ongoing

Summary: Ben Kenobi dies aboard the Death Star in the year 0 BBY. He wakes up shortly thereafter in the Jedi temple in the year 41 BBY. Haunted by memories and regret, Ben must forge a new path for himself in the Jedi Order of his youth while navigating the murky waters of time travel. Crafting a better future from bitter experience is hard, but learning to heal is even harder. Major AU.

Notes: This one I found on the heels of Desert Storm, and while they are initially cut from the same cloth, you’ll find they immediately develop their own unique flavours. If you like time-travel fix-its (which I do ;D) then this is a great read, and has some lovely art to go with it!

Life and What Comes After by Ibelin

Pairing: None

Status: First part one-shot complete, second part ongoing

Summary: Obi-Wan dies on Jabiim. Anakin blames himself, doesn't know how to go on and yet - he does. Maybe the Force rewards that kind of thing, or maybe he just gets lucky, but when a mission lands Anakin on a vaguely familiar planet, he gets a second chance to do what he knows he should have done in the first place: save his master.(And maybe a chance to save the galaxy, too.)

Notes: *Don’t worry, Obi-Wan does not in fact die!*

Ngl, what attracted me to this fic in the first place was the tag “Unrealistically Well-Adjusted Anakin Skywalker” X’D For all they say that though, his growth as a person is actually written very believably - he’s still Ani, but you see the work he put in. And damn do I love me some real communication between Obi and Ani, and damn do we ever get that here. Obi kinda backtracks that a bit with his own self-esteem issues in part two, but I have no doubt the boys will get through it!

Definitely recommend, it’s got some really wonderful family feels <3

Witness Me by SLWalker

Pairing: Obi-Wan/Maul

Status: 7 parts, final story part(s) ongoing (part 5 is the main series that’s ongoing, part 6 scattered one-shots, part 7 art for the series)

Summary: Instead of escaping to Lotho Minor, Maul's captured by the Order. Obviously, that changes everything.

Notes: I’m currently reading this one! The first several parts focus on building the relationship between Obi and Maul. Then in part 5 we start to focus more on Maul growing as his own person, though he is absolutely still Obi-Wans other half. Get ready for some clone feels, because I guarantee you will fall hard and fast for the Blackbirds once you meet them <3 <3 <3 I also appreciate that while there is definite censure for the Jedi council as a whole for certain decisions, and Anakin is his canon disaster self, there is no character bashing or throwing under buses, and conversely no hero worship either. Thus far everyone is treated fairly - I really enjoy that we tend to see not only several outside views of characters and situations, but also a lot of introspection as well.

If you’re in it for the people, this story is very much for you <3

#star wars #fanfiction #recs #may the fourth be with you #never thought I'd spend several hours of my life reccing star wars fanfic #but here we are XD #hope someone gets a good read outta this!#<3 <3 <3 #also really hope that readmore works #this thing is hecking looong ^^;

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fan-girly-girl · 4 years

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Boh

Chapter One: I Feel Like Chet

Summary:

Boh /boh/ noun, Italian slang word 1. Telling someone you either don't know or don't care about the person's question or situation. Commonly used in Italy.

"Boh!"

"W- what?" Said a confused Peter.

"It's my new superpower. It's like I was born to say this word." MJ's intrigued eyes then trailed down to the cute gift bag clutched onto Peter's hand as if he was hiding an engagement ring for her and was about to propose. Not that that's what she had in mind. At the moment. "So... what's in the bag?" She asked curiously.

"Oh, uh... boh." Peter shrugged casually.

MJ hummed at his cleverness. "Nice."

MJ was the type of person to not give a shit about people's business. And discovering the word, "Boh," gave her an advantage to let other people know that. That is if they speak Italian. Or if that person is Peter Parker, who already learned that phrase from the one and only. Although, for a super honest pessimist, MJ would never mean to use the definition of boh when it comes to Peter Parker on her mind.

A/N: All characters belong to Marvel Studios and this is my first fic since 3 years, so hopefully it's way less crappy than the ones I wrote in middle school because ngl they were shitty af. Anyways, enjoy!

The Italian word, "Boh," generally means, "I don't know," or "I don't care." That was all MJ thought about whilst making use of her new "superpower" after obtaining it from Italy. It was very effective on strangers who were possibly trying to hit on her with cheesy pickup lines. Well, she didn't know if they were either pickup lines or were just asking her for directions in Italian while giving her goo-goo eyes. Either way, boh was the best way to make all of MJ's minor problems go away. And by minor problems she means people.

Boh made her demeanor more self-explanatory, since she's always known to be shamelessly honest and direct with people. Unless if one of those people was Peter Parker. No matter how many times he undoubtedly bails out on his friends because of his "Stark internship" or immediately freaks out when he sees Brad breathe in MJ's direction, boh would never describe how much she really did care about— scratch that— loved the way he adorably acts like an idiot.

MJ wondered if that time she got that $70 Black Widow themed phone case for Secret Santa was from Peter, since:

1) There was no one in the math club who told her who her Secret Santa was for some reason.

2) Peter was absent on the day of Secret Santa, so that could mean he couldn't have the time to tell her that day because he had to save New York or something like that. But then again, a few other people were absent too.

3) Even if Peter couldn't tell her on Secret Santa, he could at least tell her the next time he saw her again at school.

Which then left MJ with one conclusion: Peter was too shy to tell her it was from him because he was the only person who heard her say that Black Widow was her favorite hero and there was a possible chance that why he would be too shy to tell her so soon was because he had a crush on her. But she could be jumping to conclusions, which made her sound like a hopeless romantic afraid of commitment.

(A/N: Shout-out to my girl mxmtoon, who you can find one of her songs from above ^ and more on Spotify and Youtube and also Tik Tok if you're into that kind of stuff.)

MJ still kept the Black Widow phone case on her Stark phone and sometimes even cherished it when people thought she wanted to be anti-social with her phone. Even though the red hourglass symbol printed on it was so scratched out that it only looked like a black phone case with bloody scratch marks from some crazy, wild animal, like a bear or a wolf, or a wolverine. Hell, it could even be a symbol of the mutant, Wolverine, himself. MJ would have thought of that new concept as the more the merrier, because she usually likes it when some things are broken. And as out of topic as this sounds, she'd sometimes have these weird dreams of her and the Wolverine in another universe where she worked for him as one of his acrobats while he ring mastered in an old-timey circus. She even had no problem with that because she got to sing while sky dancing with some guy who reminded her so much of her childhood crush, Troy Bolton, from High School Musical.

Anyway, if having MJ's special Secret Santa gift remind her of her random visions, then the gift itself wouldn't feel so special to her anymore. And it wasn't only because one of her idols were no longer represented on a piece of technology.

Or represented through a public memorial like Iron Man. I mean, she took on her life to save the universe too, so where's her funeral? MJ randomly complained to herself.

It was also because she thought it would have upset Peter a little bit since she knew how much he spent on it. Which was really uncharacteristic of her to care so much about letting someone down, as the girl who is obsessed with telling the truth when she knows how much it could hurt someone's feelings. But why should a phone case make her worry about being validated by a high school loser who just happens to have a personality bound to give someone cavities with a head of cute and fluffy clumps of chestnut hair and a chiseled jawli- Oh my God, please stop it with whatever you're thinking about right now! MJ mentally scolded at herself.

She couldn't be falling for him too. And why would she add the word, "too"? How would she even know if he likes her back? Why should she even care? Since when does Michelle Jones ever care about one's perspective on her? Boh. She then remembered the lucky phrase and took a deep breath and remembered why she procured it. It was more helpful when Ned came to stop her off-of-the-railed train of thoughts by asking her some irrelevant question about which locations in Venice are more romantic to spend time with Betty.

Responding with a careless tone like usual, MJ shrugged and said the Palazzo Dario, also known as "the house that kills." According to what MJ Googled before the trip, Palazzo Dario was a famously haunted house in Venice that had a history of murders, suicides, accidents and bankruptcies of people who have ever been associated with the house. Of course, she told Ned that information just to let him know that she was messing with him. Also because she doesn't want to risk some of her friends being cursed by a suicidal ghost of the builder's daughter, despite her statement of not believing in ghosts.

"Come on, I'm pretty sure you Googled more than just Top 5 Haunted Places in Venice." Ned says.

"And how would you know that?" MJ raised her eyebrow suspiciously and out of habit.

"Peter told me he saw you also look up some romantic areas of Europe in the library last week."

Peter saw that? And was so interested enough to tell Ned about it? MJ thought in sudden intent.

She wondered if she should be either concerned or a little hopeful of having Peter as her vise-versa stalker. But then, Ned suddenly looked nervous and regretful as if he wasn't supposed to tell her about Peter possibly stalking her.

"I- I mean, like 'cause, um..." Ned stammered. "E- everyone knows you like to look up weird stuff on the internet and... Peter thought it was weird of you to look up something unusual for someone like you."

Now MJ raised both brows in utter suspicion and slight offense by Ned saying someone like her. "So is he, like, spying on me?"

"W- whaaaat? Pfft, no, he... he's just... uh, very observant, you know?"

Hmmm...

Flashback

Present

Copycat. MJ mentally scoffed. "And why would Peter observe me out of all people?" She tried her best to sound cool and witty about it but it was so hard not to sound so desperate because of the fact that Peter knows her favorite superhero and he was very intrigued of her internet history in a non-creepy way.

Now Ned looked like he knew he was going to be a dead man. "Um... boh?"

And now Peter told Ned her new catchphrase.

"It's an Italian phrase I learned by myself." Ned lied, assuming that MJ didn't know the meaning of the word. "-And not from Peter, if that's what you're asking."

"Why would you think I'd assume Peter taught you that?" She hummed in suspicion.

"No reason." Ned smiled nervously.

Everyone loves you to death, Ned, but you can be a really bad liar. MJ mentally sighed while hiding a soft smile. She was still glad that people, like Ned, considered her their friend no matter how many times she claimed that she has none.

Before MJ could lightly interrogate Ned some more, Betty stepped in, interrupting the conversation, and asked him to take some pictures of her by the gondolas. MJ wanted to get her hopes up into thinking that Peter did like her, but when you're known to be the high school bookcase and anti-social pessimist, it's hard to believe that anything can happen.

Maybe the real reason why Peter didn't tell her about the phone case was because he was too embarrassed to let anyone think he was going to spoil the emo girl out of traditional rules based on a Christian holiday. And maybe during the times he saw her do anything uncharacteristically weird, he'd tell Ned about it just to make fun of her behind her back. And the "boh" thing was probably all the more to make fun of her— Wait a second, Peter would never make fun of people who are less weaker than him! Or anyone in general. Not even Flash or Brad.

Her realization thankfully snapped her out of her light panicking. God, she never felt this insecure since Peter's old obsession with Liz. And it was a long-ass phase that both Peter and MJ had to suffer through because of their oblivious love triangle. Now that MJ realized it, "boh" was not really a superpower. It was a repellent. But not a repellent to keep people away. It was more like a repellent made to keep MJ away from getting the chance to have a happier social life.

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spacetimewraithwrites-archive · 5 years

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Requested by @pen-in-hand, all the even numbers of this ask game. The rest is under the cut!

02. What is one of your character’s biggest insecurities? Are they able to hide it easily or can others easily exploit this weakness?

Warren struggles with his self-worth in general. He often feels like he has no place in the universe, that he doesn’t belong, and he’s pretty good at hiding it from people who don’t know him really well (or, you know...those who can read his feelings just by touching his skin UWU lol)

04. What are their favorite traits about their lover? (one psychological and one physical)

It goes without saying that Warren is enamored with almost every part of Thrive mentally and physically, but his favorite physical trait would probably be his eyes (that’s something I include in a lot of my writing...I have a thing for characters with things for eyes lmao. mostly green and blue, too....huh). He loves their color and the fact that he can read him pretty darn well despite the fact that Thrive is very good at masking his true mental state.

I know it said one of each but I’d say he loves Thrive’s hands as much as he favors his eyes. He’s quite fond of their shape and bone structure, as well as the fact that when they’re not completely upending the laws of physics they’re twitching or flexing as if he’s not sure what to do with them at any given time.

Psychologically, the biggest thing that attracts Warren to Thrive is his intelligence. Over eight thousand years of knowledge exists within him and he’s extremely adept at putting that knowledge and wisdom to good use, and that’s a big turn-on for Warren lmao.

06. Do they have any hobbies that their lover finds unusual, odd, or otherwise annoying?

Hmm...Warren’s only real hobbies are coding/programming and dancing, and I think because Thrive comes from a planet and culture that never discovered the impact of dance, he finds it a bit unusual. More intriguing than annoying, I believe. He’ll humor Warren with a slow dance sometimes (twice in the books so far, once during a pretty emotionally heavy scene in...Eternal? maybe? maybe Aurora. I dunno yet. and once leading into their first big love scene in Rebirth).

08. What is, perhaps, their biggest flaw? Are they aware of this or oblivious to it?

Warren’s biggest flaw may be a little bit subjective but in my opinion, it’s the fact that he’s so willing to throw himself into the fire for good causes. His jumping headfirst into being on Thrive’s side before they even met, running headlong into the Milky Way war, going against Thrive’s explicit wishes (orders. they were orders.) and ███████ ███ ██ █████████, that kinda thing.

10. Is your character more feminine or masculine?

He’s more masculine in the “traditional” sense, but he’s not ashamed of his more “feminine” qualities. He’s been brought to tears on a few occasions and it’s important to him to maintain a good channel of open communication and honesty when it comes to emotions within any kind of relationship.

Except, you know...with Brayden when it comes to Thrive lmao WHOOPSIE

12. Is there some particular talent, skill, or attribute that they simply could not give up?

His gift with computers and tech has always kinda been expendable to him, he loves doing it but if he woke up one day and forgot how to do any of it he wouldn’t be as torn up as, say, one day he woke up and forgot how to dance. He got through his teenage years (though he almost didn’t) because of dance, and he could never in a million years willingly give that up.

14. Do they live alone or with family? How do they feel about their family/roommates?

If you were to get smartass-y, for like 99% of the first two books he lives with the entire universe since he technically is homeless. The once-uninhabited Tournaltis becomes his home in book 3, and while he doesn’t spend much time there over the course of the next books, it’s always an option in the background.

He ends up with seventy-one roommates and while I can’t say...well, anything about them (other than Thrive obvs), I can and will say that he isn’t sure what to make of them, in the most affectionate way possible lol.

16. Is your character the athletic type or more of a couch potato? What are some sports/games that they like?

Warren isn’t much of a sports guy, but he’s also not really a couch potato. He loves the outdoors and doesn’t like being cooped up in one place for too long, which is why being put up in the Destiny is especially hard on him. He doesn’t mind spaceships so much since they’re always moving from point A to point B.

18. What kind of home would they want to live in? Where would they place this abode?

To be true, his dream home is his grandparents’ cabin in Alaska. Off the grid for the most part, deep in the forest, right by the lake...’kay maybe not the lake so much, but he’s a loner at heart and always will be.

20. Does your character like animals? What are some of their favorite animals? Would they want pets? What about mythological creatures?

Warren doesn’t mind animals, but he’s not a big pet person. Interestingly, I think his favorite animal is the desert lights that come out at night over the beach on Tournaltis. They’re phosphorescent orange glowing insect-like creatures that float in the air over the shore, stretching from the water all the way back to the cliff face. He thinks they’re so interesting and they create a beautiful landscape, especially when the sky is clear and the Milky Way makes an appearance.

22. What kind of tattoos, piercings, birthmarks, freckles, and other such unique physical features do they have?

He’s still got a hole in his right ear (I think, yikes) from when he was fourteen and got it pierced, though he hasn’t worn an earring since, and he wouldn’t mind a tattoo if he ever came across a memorable or one with enough meaning. He’s got various freckles on different parts of his body, but no birthmarks.

24. In their own words, how would your character describe what their lover is like?

“Full of love and passion, unbelievable wisdom and an overwhelming sense of spiritual righteousness that only doesn’t come off as arrogance because he himself does not seem to be able to cope with the fact that he can’t save everyone in the universe.”

26. What is their lover like sexually? How do they feel about their lover’s quirks, needs, etc?

Thrive is not a sexual being normally. In fact, he’s only interested in the act when he’s physically interacting with someone who’s feelin’ some type of way, but he gets enjoyment out of Warren’s satisfaction and his unique emotional signature, so truthfully he only does things for him as they both equally benefit.

Warren feels a little guilty about this since he’s hardwired to believe that it’s important to make sure all parties are left feeling taken care of during intimacy...it takes a bit for him to get used to the fact that Thrive gets his kicks from him getting his kicks, lmao

28. If your character became a celebrity, what would they be famous for?

Well...he kinda is a celebrity? At least in the year 2272. I mean...he helped save the galaxy for cryin’ out loud. Truthfully not as well-known at Thrive, but the textbooks all mention Warren at some point.

30. When it comes to the arts (music, film, theater, etc), what does your character like?

He likes mostly indie stuff and some hip-hop and rock, both residual from his middle- and high-school years. He surprisingly doesn’t watch a lot of movies. He can appreciate art and actually dabbled a bit in painting when he was a kid, but he ultimately decided it was better left to those with a talent for it.

32. If your character’s lover offered to take them out on a dream date, what would they want to do?

Warren is pretty classically romantic in the sense that just some time under the moon(s) and stars is perfectly fine with him.

I’ve been thinking of including a scene in like, Eternal or something that likens to Mass Effect 3′s Citadel DLC...I kinda wanna put Warren and Thrive on a dinner-and-activity sort of date on the Node and play with how uncomfortable or surprisingly comfortable they may and/or may not be in that situation. Also kinda for a purpose as they’d be discussing the goings-on and their next plan or whatever.

34. Does your character have favorite foods? (breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks, etc)

Warren likes all food at all times. Really, that’s truly it lmao

36. Does your character have any medical conditions? Are they serious or minor? Do they affect their day to day life?

He doesn’t have any medical conditions that I can think of off the top of my head...well, I mean...there may or may not be some stuff after Rebirth....

38. What kind of weather does your character like? Cloudy skies, rainy days, sunshine, etc?

He’s particularly fond of cloudy, snowy or rainy weather where you just wanna curl up under a blanket and sleep.

40. Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others?

Not really. Warren feels (like I do) that anything you enjoy should be done without shame, within reason.

42. Is there anything in your character’s past that they regret, haunts them, or they wish they could change?

He does regret how he could’ve left his grandparents. He regrets putting them through the horror of almost losing him, especially not that long after losing their son and their daughter-in-law to illnesses.

Not saying goodbye to the rest of his family, or anyone really, before the end of Destiny is a big one. Everything that happened on the Destiny, definitely.

44. Is there a particular event that would emotionally devastate your character?

WELP. I can’t quite...HUH. I can’t exactly...well, I can’t talk about it lol

Maybe losing Thrive somehow????????? and I cannot confirm nor deny that this happens. lmao

46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover?

He calls him “babe” a lot, which like...always makes my knees weak ngl lol

Also, he likes to try to get ahead of Thrive’s needs, waiting in their room to give him neck rubs after a stressful day on Tournaltis, for example. Or letting Thrive reach into his mind to be reassured or comforted or whatever it is he’s looking for at the time.

He also loves to flirt with him because his reactions are amusing lmao

48. Is there anything in particular that would ignite your character’s jealousy? Or does your character not get envious?

Warren is the most jealous before he’s officially in a relationship with Thrive. After that threshold’s crossed, not so much. His feelings toward Sussa in regards to Thrive before fully understanding the nature of their situation is uhh not great.

I mean sure, if he saw Thrive mackin’ on someone else right in front of his face he’d have QUESTIONS....

But he trusts him and knows that they could talk through anything if feelings shifted or began leaning a certain way.

50. If your character confessed love to their crush, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc, what would they say?

Warren would say, “I’m crazy about you. Insanely, tragically in love with you.”

And Thrive would say nothing. Cuz that’s canon lmao

#honestly thank you for this #gave me a chance to refresh my Thriving shit #ask games #profile: Warren #if I left something out or typoed or misread a question or anything I'm so sorry #I'm running on four hours of sleep but I'd be damned if I wasn't gonna finish this!!

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