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lunchtimebedamned1997 · 1 day

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Warmups #1 (Plus Charlastor!)

Turns out warmups really DO help in art (fuck me, right?) and these are all from yesterday and today, hope you enjoy it!

SCROLL TO END FOR TIMELAPSE <3

Pretty much just Hazbin and some OCs of mine! (That's basically all I've been drawing the last month or two lol) I've also been reading way too much (not really, fight me) Charlastor/RadioBelle fics and consuming ALL the artwork. I might just be obsessed with Al in general though - *sigh* - before my Charlastor fixation it was RadioStatic/Silence. Anything with the Strawberry Pimp or Vox tbh. Fuck I'm just rambling about Hazbin, huh? uhhhh where was I? RIGHT here's the one and only reference I actively used besides glancing at some official Hazbin art:

I saw it, and then immediately fell into a fit of laughter at the idea of drawing Charlie and Al like this. The whole drawing process made my cheeks hurt bc I was giggling over getting to make those two idiots be, well, adorable fucking idiots! XD

Anyways, here's the speedpaint!

Anatomy is so harrrrrd but I'm actually really proud of myself for how I did with this one, I'm still terrified of drawing the lower body but heyyyy, problem for another day!

OH I almost forgot to talk about my own characters a little?! Hyperfixation, what have you done to me?!!! We've got four of my babies here, all from the same project called Ashland Bites, which will hopefully, someday, be an animated series! I've been writing it for years and years (slow but steady, I'm a team of exactly one person lmao) and I've been trying to get my art skills honed so I can do as much of the (probably very distant, but hopefully someday) future pre-production work myself! I started learning more about animating recently, and the openness that Vivienne Medrano allows her cast and crew to have has been a godsend for learning more about the different steps of the process (all while feeding my ravenous little neurodivergent brain with that good good fixation content lmao)

Can't share too much about my own project at the mo, but let me just say it's got Vampires, the fair folk, godesses, ancient fantasy cultures, modern humans running around thinkin' the world is our definition of 'normal', and SO much more (I wish I could tell u all the things oh my GODDD)

Thanks for taking a look at my work *smooches ya*

#digital art #warmups #drawing #my art #my ocs #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #charlastor #fanart #hellaverse fanart #Ashland Bites #AB Veronica #AB Tara #AB Lucas #AB Kathryn #Ashland Bites art #oc art #speedpaint

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ef-1 · 2 months

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girlhood

#i have to fly out to capetown to see mother and im literally debating if i could land in the morning and leave at night on the same day #like. anything longer than that is going to ruin my year.#when she called and did her “katherine. you have to be here on the 10th” i literally sobbed in my bed for the rest of the day 😍😍😍#not dyeing my hair black for a year and its getting lighter and lighter everyday and i look like her again #and my therapist telling me “you need to do things for yourself.” but like can i? sorry that woman traumatised me and i actually cant :)#like everything i do is informed by her #I'm going to go and just like everytime the only way to keep my sanity is to mirror her. talk and sit and speak and read and eat like her #and its such a terrifying experience bc i remember that im capable of emulating her viciousness and maybe i am my mother's daugher 🤢🤢🤢#and im going to come back and its going to take fucking months for me to feel like myself again #“oh you look so beautiful just like your mother” i hope you DIE lol !!! the fact that my conception of beauty was shaped by her #growing up with this cruel beautiful detached woman and realising that at the intersection of beauty and wickness is a lifetime of pain #and still being so desperate for her approval- for any metaphysical proximity to her that i felt elated when #people would tell me i look like her. that it meant i was also beautiful like her and maybe she'll love me a little for it #but now i know for a fact that i do look like her and it makes saliva swell under my tongue - that moment right before you throw up-#when people mention it 😍#last time i was in capetown my optic neuritis flared up (and i know for a fact it was that it was ms-stress related from having to see her)#and i thought i hid it so well even though i had near constant headaches & lethargy until she said “katherine give me the red notebook”#and i knew that she knew all along. it was so acutely humiliating standing there and knowing she knows i cant see which one is the red one #and she tilted her head and said “whats the matter? do you not know what red looks like?”#im never going to have kids. my mother and i read eachother so well it can only mean im never too far removed from becoming her #lol!!!!!!!!!

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opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months

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...

#im just gonna complain abt it here bc i just have to accept that i can't irl bc no one else gets it #its hard to b a dyslexic grad student. u have to read so much. and its good. lots of reading is good. u just have to contend with a soul #crushing amout of discouragement at the fact u just kinda cant read while ur peers r like sure i can read this in class and have things to #say abt it. if u make me read in my head in class i literally cannot fucking tell u what i just read. not a god damn thing and if i try to #let my computer read to me i cant fucking pay attention for long enough so i just have to accept that from here on out ill have to #physically read papers aloud which i hate so much. its the only way i can fucking understand things and it still makes me feel dumb bc ill #somehow still space out while reading and have to reread like 4 times before i understand wtf is being said. it takes forever and it takes #energy and i dont like talking very much and it also restricts me to only being able to read at home which is frustrating #and im like i need to stop my brain from distracting myself with things that dont matter and my counselor is like: ur ocd is trying to make #work ur whole life and im like yeah thats how i got it. its the only way i can keep swimming with the non dyslexics #so its like wtf do i do? i kinda have to take the hit and make work my whole life rn. morn the loss of other things for a while #i dunno im still a bummer rn. like im probably coming off as more an asocial freak than normal bc its hard to talk ans maintain conversation #rn. but whatever. sometimes things just suck and theres nothing u can do abt it but accept it and move on. ill learn lots of things with all #the reading i have to do and that's never a bad thing ...no matter how much i dont give a fuck abt animals #like jesus. i could not even begin to give a fuck about like 95% of mammals. fish r cool tho. plants too #but microbes is where its at. i dont understand y ppl dont understand how cool they r. oh well ill just have to tell them #if i can find my fucking enthusiasm. ugh i have to make one of my classes read a paper and i have to work with someone abt find it. she #works with like rabbits. i refuse to assign a mammal paper. i fucking refuse. we will do plants or microbes or fucking paleontology #i will fight her on this. ugh. light filtering or orchid speciation would b perfect. annoying #at least i get to work with some culturs this week #unrelated

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traumapyre-moved · 8 months

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hirokiyuu · 1 year

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i mentioned on the dys>sol/nomi i was gonna be posting more of my fic backlog on here and then Did Not Do That..... until now! have some dys>sol>cal. 'you sure write a lot of dys>sol where sol likes other people' yeah. yeah. i won't lie to you guys tho this run does eventually end w/dys/sol but. u kno. takes a bit :)

aaaaanyways please enjoy this Unrequited Teen Angst WWWWWWW set during early year 16!

is that the sun i see (or am i just being greedy); 700 words

Sol’s weirdly moody on the transport. Usually even if he’s quiet, he’ll be fiddling with his holopalm or listening to music or something, but today he’s in the very back, just staring out at the scenery, and when their eyes meet for half a second he doesn’t even smile. Sol always smiles when he sees Dys, which honestly used to kind of weird him out but these days… does not do that.

Still, as the team files out of the transport and breaks off into pairs, Dys keeps an eye on him instead of scouting ahead like normal -- which ends up being a good thing, because after about fives minutes out by themselves Sol suddenly lets out an enormous groan and slumps over, hunched in over himself. And Dys can’t feel fear but his heart’s pounding anyways as he runs over, careful to keep an eye on their surroundings as he leans over and says, urgently, “Sol, what --”

The moment his hand touches Sol’s back Sol jumps, enough to send himself falling back on his ass in the dirt, eyes wide with surprise like he hadn’t heard Dys sprinting towards him. “Dys?” he sputters, before glancing around. “I thought -- I mean, don’t you normally go on ahead…?”

He doesn't look hurt at all, though on closer inspection there’s bags under his eyes Dys’s never seen on his face before. “I mean,” says Dys, who can’t bring himself to say I was worried about you, “you were acting weird, so….”

“Oh,” says Sol, before managing a tiny grin up at him. “That’s… that’s really nice of you. Thanks.”

“Whatever.” Ugh. He can feel his stupid face going red. The worst part is that he can’t even leave, not with how Sol’s smile is still wobbling at the edges. “...Are you okay?”

“Oh, well, um… I mean, that’s….” The smile slides off Sol’s face piece by piece, until he gives up on it all at once and sighs miserably, pulling his knees in close until he’s curled up on himself in the dirt. “No.”

Dys… can’t even pretend to be surprised. Slowly he sits down next to Sol, watching as Sol leans forward to rest his chin on his arms, for once not even fidgeting. “...It’s stupid,” says Sol, finally. “It’s really stupid, and you’re gonna think it’s stupid too. But… if I tell you… can you pretend you don’t think it is? Just for like, ten minutes.”

This already sounds like it’s going to suck. “...Okay. I won’t… say anything, I guess.”

“Thanks.”

The moment drags out. Dys picks a little at a hangnail, waiting. Finally, Sol sighs again, and doesn’t quite look at Dys as he says, “Cal and Tammy are dating.”

“...Oh.”

“He told me on my birthday.” Sol tilts even further forward, until his face is buried in his arms, and with a muffled voice says, “Like, he knocked on the door and she was there and he had his hand on her back. And she’d made me a cake, which was like, nice or whatever, but it was so unbearable just seeing them together and I just -- I just had to sit there and pretend I was happy for them….

“Apparently she asked him out during Glow? Like, after the attack? And I saw them together in the lounge but I didn’t even realize….” There is, horrifyingly, a sniffing noise. “Stupid… stupid Fennec Face. She’s not… she’s not even that cute, and she’s afraid of everything, and I… I….”

Another sniff. Dys is probably the person least equipped to deal with this in the entire colony, not in the least because he heard Cal was dating someone else and his first reaction was gratitude. “...Sorry,” he offers up, finally. “That… that sucks.”

“Yeah,” says Sol, as he burrows deeper into his arms. “I… I just… I really like him. Y’know?”

Quietly, Dys answers, “I know.”

In response Sol just lets out this big shuddering sigh, somehow burrowing even deeper. “Sorry,” he says. “I know it’s stupid. I… Sorry.”

Dys can’t think of anything to say to that, can’t think of a single thing that might make Sol feel a little better. Instead of trying anyways he just sits there like an idiot, keeping half an eye on the planet around them to make sure they don’t get eaten by anything, and next to him Sol doesn’t move for a long, long time.

#i like pining dys can u tell. can u tell #i also like Physical Skills Only Head Empty sol LMFAO #also ill be honest with u guys #the only reason i am posting this one is bc i have a High Comedy sequel but it does require this one being posted first #bracelet scene :) with this sol :) is so funny #guy who has zero reasoning whatsoever #oh side note for ppl who read my shit. this is the same sol that would propose to dys later on in life #guy who is a stupid romantic #anyways. they are stupid.#should i put this in the main tag or not..... im very lukewarm on this LMFAO #again. this is only here bc its Necessary Context for the other hting i Want to post #ehhhh might as well i guess. shrugs.#i was a teenage exocolonist #how do you writing #oh title is from 2023 by blue rain boots #chorus is 'is that the sun i see or am i just bein greedy / gonna fix myself so i'm not so fuckin needy' and lie #the guys voice is soooo nice i love the way he sings it wwwww its good vibes #OK THATS A LOT OF TAGS. as long as the ficlet itself.#anyways. feast my children.

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pepprs · 10 months

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misery despair suffering etc etc

#purrs #delete later #two thoughts about separate things both causing the despair. thought / thing number 1 which i think ive talked abt on here many times before #but im saying it again: i am not good at being a friend in the ways my friends need me to be a friend. and in the ways friendship is thought #of societally i guess. i isolate myself constantly. i pull away from the opportunity to get closer with people i don’t know as well. i don’t #text back and then when im finally ready it’s been so egregiously long since it was appropriate for me to respond or reciprocate or #whatever it is i am so crushed by guilt and shame and embarrassment that i can’t bring myself to do it. i have so many unread messages and i #wont even let myself open them. and ive been like this for years. and i hurt someone very badly many years ago by being that way. and it was #more complicated than that but sometimes i remember it and how i acted and how i treated them. and i wonder sometimes if they check up on me #and i don’t want to be immature or weird or whatever for talking about it or wondering that openly. but if you do read this and you know who #you are: i am so sorry. i meant whst i said that i would never stop wishing you well and hoping the very best for you. and i hope you have #all of that and more. and im so sorry for not being brave enough to communicate with you or stick around. i really really am. and im sorry #to all the other people i have hurt by pulling away and shutting down and shrinking inside myself and not talking. ik it’s weird to post #that instead of just telling people directly but it’s the guilt. i am fully aware of how many people / groups of people i owe things to /#for but also just… miss. a lot. and want to talk to even though i won’t let myself. i don’t know why im like this and i don’t know how to #stop. but im sorry im not a good friend or even acquaintance or community member. and im talking to everyone now i guess including anyone #reading this bc god knows how many asks and messages i have on here. im sorry. i want to be a better friend. but i also never have spoons. a #and i also want to stay spoonless and cocooned on myself forever and never come out. and i hate that. i want to be a friend. i want to be #kind and giving and loving and generous in the ways you all have been with me. i want to hang out with people and send messages and be there #to lift people up and celebrate with them. but all i can muster is tapping like on social media and it’s horrific. i have gifts to make and #hello / checking in messages to reply to and roleplay starters to post and i just can’t do it right now and im scared i’ll never be able to #again. but it’s a self fulfilling prophecy. if i say i can’t do it then iwont. it’s not enougu to just be aware of it i have to act on it #and change it. but im exhausted and hurting right now and i have been for years and i need to heal first but what if this is healing.#idk. i rambled on that for much longer than i thought i would so nowim gonna say the second thing in a separate post. and it’ll be weird to #post about that in light of this and it’ll be weird to post this at all. but its been weighing on me so heavily today and i don’t want #anyone to think im ignoring them or not aware of being like this or whatever. and posting into the void is easier than telling individual #people to your faces even though i know it’s cowardly. im really truly sorry. i will try to get better once i have the strength to try.#actually yeah no not gonna say the second thing yet. it would be weird to say it now. this needs to sit a little first

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mainfaggot · 1 year

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hi oomfs. I have a question for those of u who know what it's like to be really like. very. suicidal ... what has stopped u from dying thus far?

#for context if u dont already read my depressing ass text posts: i have suicidal thoughts pretty often and two (2) times i have seriously #planned to off myself . but im still here mainly bc the first time i was treated for severe depression and an*rexia and got a bit of hope #and the second time. well thats now actually #I've been contemplating dying in the summer for the past couple months and it sounds insane bc well. it is death right #and thats pretty final #but i might not do it out of fear or out of desperation for a better life and hope of re-creating myself #idk i just want to know how people who understand this in some capacity think #so yeah. do tell me on anon or in the comments if u feel comfortable #z.post #ed ment

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safyresky · 1 year

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HOW DO YOU DO FELLOW HUMANS, HUMAN FELLOWS. How we feelin after episode 4? Feelin like uh, we have MAYBE seeeeeen a takeover of the North Pole before? Albeit very different??? Still missing our frosty mans?!?!!?

WELL GOOD NEWS. IT IS 12AM, I AM DRUNK, AND I AM HERE WITH ANOTHER PLUG FOR ANOTHER FANFIC I WROTE CALLED THE TWELVE YEARS OF FROSTMAS.

Frostmas? you say. I see it mentioned, in passing, in Crystal Springs, which I have definitely read since you pinned it and offered it to us in a trying time! You say.

That's sweet, I reply. You can be honest, it's okay if you didn't read it!

Okay good, you say, because life gets busy and I'm fucking tired and it's so niche. There's barely any B-Man! Where is the B-Man!

I get it, y'all are B-Man stans. What's a Jack stan to do in this economy.

THIS, APPARENTLY.

anyway.

LET ME OFFER YOU A FROSTMAS! WHAT IS FROSTMAS ABOUT, YOU ASK? SIMPLE!

FROSTMAS IS MY OWN PERSONAL TAKE ON HOW JACK'S REIGN AS SANTA WENT FOR THE 12 YEARS HE WAS SANTA-ING ABOUT, BEFORE SCOTT CAME BACK AND THEY D-D-D-DUELED!

In TTYoF, commonly referred to here at SafyreSky Industries as Frostmas, Jack poofs to the moment the sleigh descends (because I said so) and starts his reign as Santa, the long way round. Of course, when he arrives, Bernard (YAY!) is like "well this is fucking WRONG" and summons the Council.

Unfortunately, Jack grabbed the coat; so now he's Santa. But then...who'll be Jack Frost?

Well, his Legate (remember that? From the Crystal Springs plug?) of course! His lil sister! My OC, Jacqueline Mother Fucking Frost!

AND ENTER JACQUELINE! WHO IS TELLING US THE STORY OF JACK'S REIGN AS SANTA FROM HER PERSPECTIVE! IT'S FIRST PERSON LADS! AND JACQUELINE IS ONE HELL OF A NARRATOR!

Seems good for Jack, right? He's Santa, Jacqueline is taking care of his old job? WRONG. BECAUSE MOTHER FUCKING JACQUELINE FUCKING FROST REMEMBERS THE ORIGINAL TIMELINE

AND SHE IS NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT.

Join her retelling of Jack's reign as Santa, which she has dubbed "The Twelve Years of Frostmas", and watch how Jack takes the Workshop from tradition to CAPITALIST HELLSCAPE! Watch as he slowly descends into "maybe we should get the guillotine" territory, and how the Workshop we know and love comes to be the capitalist hellscape we see Scott disassociate in in the film.

AND MAYBE a narrative in which an unhinged woman gets a villain arc and becomes her worst fear, while the not quite a foil foil (I forget the other word ): realizes that this isn't at all what he wants, and watch how it all unfolds! Wow!

this isn't a good sell but it's 12:30 am and I've had like, the equivalent of 7 shots and APPARENTLY 7 shot Dani is like, wow, i am a wordsmith. everyone should read this shit. wow.

TL;DR: I WROTE A FIC CALLED THE TWLEVE YEARS OF FROSTMAS THAT EXPLORES JACK'S REIGN AS SANTA AND HOW WE GET FROM WORKSHOP TO SANTA DISNEY LAND, FEATURING AN OC THAT TELLS US HOW IT WENT FROM HER PERSPECTIVE. AND ALSO DID I MENTION THAT BERNARD (YAY!) IS FEATURED PROMINENTLY? YEAH BERNARD (YAY!) STANS, I'M TALKING TO YOU!

So, in conclusion. Reasons to read The Twelve Years of Frostmas by safyresky:

Jack as Santa

Jacqueline Mother fucking Frost gets to be unhinged and maybe a bit antagonistic (a lot if ur Jack)

Bernard's there! (YAY!)

Also, Bernard is there! (YAY!)

Did I mention Bernard? (YAY!)

Reasons to NOT read Frostmas:

none

(i kid)

it is 1st person perspective and also features an oc prominently, so if either of those things aren't your thing, please disregard this long post and go about your midnight happily not reading 1st person or OCs

tho idk why anyone wouldn't like ocs

they're a whole bucket of fun!

[We here at SafyreSky Industries would like to give viewers and potential readers a warning about the Frostmas Effect, which may affect you if you choose to read. Frostmas is a bop, however, it is massively, massively long because our CEO, SafyreSky herself, is a slut for aesthetics and one chapter is always one year. The word count goes from 4-5k, to 8-10k, and suddenly 20-30k. Please use Frostmas wisely. We recommend frequent breaks. Please see a doctor if prolonged use of Frostmas keeps you up at night. We here at SafyreSky industries waive any and all responsibility to your emotional wellbeing after you embark on your reading journey. thank you for your time, be safe, and enjoy the descent into madness that is The Twelve Years of Frostmas.]

#dani speaks #the santa clause #the santa clause 2 #the santa clause 3 #the santa clauses #(alcohol mentions in the tags as well. be warned!)#no fr guys. it's so long. please pace yourself #IF U READ IT OF COURSE. NO PRESSURE. i just. wanna promote my shit u know??#(yells like iron giant guy) A R T #anyway sorry for when you see this sobered up dani. or not?? we'll see if there's regretti spaghetti #bc lemme tell u. drunk dani rn? having a bit of that pasket #but that's what u get when u have a cocktail with tequila and then one with vodka and then a coffee one with liqueur #beer before liqueur never been sicker! which i've never been but all i smell is tequila and that shit is NASTY #every time i order a drink with tq in it im like. ah yes. it wont be that strong in it #IT FUCKING IS. EVERY TIME. I PLAY MYSELF.#ANYWAY for new followers hi! drunk dani is an irregular occurrence!#my gal pals here in my town i live in missed my bridal shower so they treated me to a girls night #and u know. it's free food. and drink. :)#no offence to those who do like it and yes you can make fun of me for being like ick! tequila! i deserve it lmao #alcohol mention #bc i did mention it in the text once or twice #ANYWAY BACK TO SCROLLING I GO AND THEN BED??? BUT IM WIRED #shakes fist at coffee liqueur #oh right and also!#long post

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sluttyten · 1 year

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Now I sit in my room anxiously for the next hour and a half waiting for tickets to go on sale, and then I drive anxiously across town too

#like fuck I’m nervous and I need to eat something but I’m nervous and that makes it difficult #also I fucking hate making plans with people that I don’t know all that well 😭😭 like yeah I know them at work but not outside of work #and also going places I’ve never been before?? to do things that I don’t do?? the social anxiety has my belly in knots #and then….. I have to show my parents that I pierced my nose and I think that’s my biggest fear about all of this #number one fear actually: not getting tickets #number two fear: me coming home with my nose pierced and having to tell them #I just got home from work and saw my dad was home and was like oh shit bc when I leave I’m gonna have to offer an explanation #but like once I have the tickets purchased then like 🤷🏻‍♀️ what’s my mom gonna do tell me that we’re not going #also like everyone keeps telling me I’m a grown ass adult and I can make these decisions myself #I wonder if everyone at work could see how nervous I was and how increasingly throughout the day I’ve been getting like more nervous and #more quiet but like I feel like it’s equal parts ticket sale anxiety and doing something out of the ordinary that my parents might not #approve of while I live under their roof and all that #but on the bright side my dad just left to go do something so maybe he won’t be back before I leave and I’ll just be like hey I’m leaving #um and I’m getting my nose pierced but I’ll be back soon!!#also though like a source of my anxiety right now is that I have to go pick up one of the people I’m going with and I’ve never been alone #with him not that I mean that in a bad way just an anxious way like I’m awkward as fuck #and the other girl who was maybe going with us didn’t work with us today and she seemed a lil hesitant about it and then I texted her about #what time I’m planning on going and she hasn’t responded but I’m pretty sure she read it #anyway I’m literally like buzzing with anxiety right now over getting tickets first and foremost #ALSO I’m supposed to be getting something from Amazon today and it’s not here yet plus I’m waiting on a trade to get here and I just want #it all to just be here

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thedarklyblue · 1 year

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ughhhh

#.txt #wish i could be confident in my opinions!!#currently stressed because i'm using one name at school and another at home and havent had that conversation with my parents #(which makes it tough bc like. if they come see a show i worked on. there's that one in the program and i didn't tell them.)#((out to them as nonbinary but they went :/ are you sure so i have not been pushing the issue))#and i get a nyt subscription as a student and my evening update just sent me an article about parents whose kids are socially transitioning #and the schools aren't telling them #and i GET it you feel betrayed. you feel not trusted as a parent.#and i fully understand being unsure and hesitant. but something about this is rubbing #me the wrong way. it's still so important to give kids room to experiment and explore!#if you're going to look at your kid figuring out their identity and go 'oh well you're clearly not sure so i don't believe you' then they'll #work on it by themselves.#and then when they come to you and say this is who i am you'll go 'oh it's so sudden!! how could you not tell me i think this is a fad'#and this is such a weird balancing game and i really hate how the article covered it and now i'm fucking ANXIOUS #i just want to live!! also when you're like oh how can you be sure. how the FUCK are we supposed to figure it out without trying things?????#not everything is a fucking life-changing decision sometimes you just have to do shit #wish i hadn't read that article but uh nothing i can do about it now #i hate realizing that everything i have figured out here (how to explain myself to people #how to talk to profs about who i am)#doesn't do shit for me in the other contexts i live in #also living the 'do i come out to grandparents or do i for sure inherit money for top surgery' which feels gross but idkkkkk #anyway. Bad Brain Evening. thanks

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usoratonkachi · 2 years

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no bc i should have gotten beheaded for writing certain characters as hard doms that are damn well the farthest from hard doms when i first started writing last year DSKJFHSDKF (I HAVE GROWN IN WRITING DO NOT ACTUALLY BEHEAD ME PLS SAJDKFHSD)

also little (not little at all) rant / reflection <3 in tags lmfao