#i didnt sleep i didnt take meds i didnt eat right
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MHA react to you dying PART TWO
PART ONE
MHA scenarios list (not made)
Characters: Bakugou, Shoto, Neijire, and Mei
Warnings: angst, overworking oneself, suicide thoughts
Bakugou
He tried to save you. He know in his mind it was impossible but his heart said he had to. You was right in front of him. You protected him from a villian quirk. You was losing a lot of blood. He kept trying to hold the blood in place while they went to go get medical help. By time the medics got there, you was already did. On your face was a smile. Even in death you beauty never goes away. After that he vowed to save anyone. Which led him to overwork himself.
When the funeral came, he knew your parents put you in something you didnt want. He came “late” your parwnts didn’t like him because of his answer issues. He put you in the correct dress and smilies at you.
Nejire
She had to watch you die infront of her. You was ill. She would always come and you wanted her to fix her hair each time. The doctors she didn’t like. They would always ignore your pains and just give you pain meds. Until one doctor come and said they needed to get you to surgery. After your surgery you was sleeping in your room with Nejire right there. She has been getting calls about school but she didn’t care about that when you need her so much. She went out of the room for a second. That’s when you was hurting. You screamed out for Nejire and a nurse. Nejire quickly went to find a nurse. She couldn’t find any and went back to you. You was becoming lifeless,but you still tried to have a grip on her. You died without any help from any doctors.
Nejire POV: my love died. They doesn’t deserve that to happen to them. The funeral went good but why would I eat knowing my love is now dead? What’s the point of living knowing I won’t get to hear their voice. Get married or see us have kids or not whatever they want. I want to end myself now. I have no reason to stay alive. Those doctors and nurses ended them. And they was just talking about them saying that they would be able to leave. I will see you again.
Shoto
He felt something wrong. He knew in his body something was wrong. That’s why he called you. Your phone went to voicemail. Then he got his things and went to your house. He knew your parents weren’t home. When he went inside he saw your body. On the bed. Your eyes was open in shock. Blood was all over your bed. That’s when he saw your eyes looking at you. You tried to say something but he told you to shush and call the ambulance. He held you close careful not to hurt you in any way but the ambulance was too late.
He started to distance himself from anything that reminds you of him. Izuku tried to help cheer him up but it didn’t work. He went back to being reserved and only saying a few setences. He would still think about your body there. So helpless. If he can reverse time he would.
Mei
Mei couldn’t do anything to help you. She was in a different class but it didn’t stop her from seeing you a lot. She knew you had a big mission and was making something for you when you returned. Bakugou and Shoto walked into her area. She didn’t see you anywhere and looked at them two wanting them to leave. That’s when they told her that you died and you wanted them to give her this paper and box. Mei eyes was clouded with tears and she couldn’t hold herself up. Shoto helped her up and take her to a seat. She read the note. It was you, she can tell from the handwriting. The note you wrote was about you dying and how you wished you can marry her and be with her forever. She couldn’t stop herself from crying. When she opened the box it was necklace from you, it had both of you in the heart. And at the bottom it said happy anniversary. Now Mei wears it all the time when she can.
#bakugou x reader#todoroki x reader#nejire x reader#mei x reader#mha x reader#mha angst#mha bakugou#mha todoroki#mha nejire#mha hatsume
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My boyfriend caught his first cold in our relationship
My boyfriend went to a wedding on Friday and came home with a hoarse voice from all the singing and screaming.
On Saturday, his throat was just still a little sore, but that's normal after screaming every song you know.
When I came over on Sunday, he greeted me with a hug and almost instantly told me that he was going to be chewing gum a lot that day because his throat hurt. I told him that was fine, of course. Though I did think it was weird that his throat still hurt on Sunday afternoon when the wedding was Friday night.
The day was normal, but when we were winding down for the night, I asked him if he wanted me to stay over. Because even at that point when he was pretty sure it was just from using his voice too much, he still didn't feel great.
He said that he wanted me to stay over and that he would call out of work tomorrow. And he was glad he called out because he got a horrible night's sleep. He got up once to take some ibuprofen, and then we cuddled for a bit when he returned. He slept very fitfully and got up another time to get a spoon of honey because the meds did nothing for him.
When morning came, I woke up alone in bed, which is not entirely unusual because he gets up much earlier than me, but that morning I didnt hear him doing anything upstairs.
I got up and went to the living room and to my surprise he's laying cuddled up on the couch. And he was passed tf out.
So I refilled his water bottle, laid down on the other side of the couch, and watched tiktoks on silent until he woke up.
He woke up dazed and I asked him why he went to the couch as I switched the blanket he was using to a comfier one from bed. And he said that he didn't mean to fall asleep up there. He just woke up, went upstairs and decided he was going to be awake. But he eventually sat down on the couch and fell asleep again.
We cuddled for a little while before I told him I was going to run to town to get breakfast for us.
I ended up picking us up some donuts, but I got him some cough drops and a chamomile mint tea from caribou as well.
When I got back, he was much more awake. We ate our food. His voice was just as bad as the night before, if not worse, but now he was also sniffly.
He took a hot shower after we ate. I sat on the couch again, but I could hear him coughing from the shower, and my heart just ached for him.
The rest of the day was filled with cuddles, movies, sniffles, and nose blows (which he mostly excused himself to the bathroom to do, unfortunately)
The few times he did blow his nose in front of me was with a paper towel when we were eating lunch. His blows were always very soft and he almost always pinched his nose from the middle of his bridge down in a swiping motion that was really rough on his nose because he was using paper towel.
It left his nose so cute and red though. A few other things of note are that sometime after lunch, he decided to take his temperature, and he had a low-grade fever. And for those of you who like it (me included) the night I stayed over, he said out loud that he "might be getting sick" and then when his dad called him the next morning to ask why he wasn't at work (life360) he told him that he was sick.
Also, he knows about my kink, but I honestly think he forgets about it sometimes and I don't know if I should really remind him right now haha.
But yeah I'll post again if anything happens when I go over today. No sneezing yet, just absolutely adorable fluff
#snzblr#snz blog#snz kink#snzfucker#coldfucker#sick#sneeze#sicknario#caretaking#snznario#boyfriend fluff#boyfriend sick
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Sleepless Mushroom
Law X F. Reader
Part of Heart Pirates for four years, girlfriend to Law eventually, strong willed, cured, daily life with law.
You ate the insomnia mushroom and the closest island was five days away. As your sanity weighs Law goes to get your medicine to cure you.
"But Law I'm sooo hungry I cant wait" you say as your stomach growls.
"You can wait, you've waited longer than this anyways" he grumbles annoyed. While you both were walking through lush forestry you notice some mushrooms and decide to sneakily pick them you ate two big ones then stuffed the rest in your boiler suit pockets. Feeling super energized you run up to him keeping up with his pace.
"I dont think theres any pirates here but we could send the team out to look for medical supplies" you say garnering a smirk from Law.
"Your right (n) let's go back-" he was cut off by his eyes darting to something falling out of your pocket. He picks it up and then it hits him.
"(N) dont tell me you ate any of these..." he exclaims voice shaken. You pause like a deer in headlights.
"Um well I only ate two of them, I told you I was hungry!" You whined as he grabs you and shakes you
"Those are insomnia mushrooms! Once you eat them you may never sleep until you die or go crazy (n)" he yells at you making you tear up. He stops shaking you now with his hand on the bridge of his nose he just stand there thinking hard.
"Come with me now!" He yells. Grabbing your hand he shouts
"Room Shambles" and your both in the Polar Tang in the med bay. Him searching for a book finding it then flipping through it he starts to prepare a medicine.
"Fuck!" You hardly ever heard him curse so you knew this was serious.
"What's wrong Captain?" You politely ask. You've been with the Heart Pirates for four years now and have taken a great liking to your Captain but you know he wouldn't feel the same so you've kept it to yourself.
"We just ran out of the key ingredient I need to make your medicine dammit!" He yells as he pounds his fist onto the table.
"At the fastest we can go, itll still take five days to get to the island" Law says defeated.
"You'll start hallucinating after seventy two hours, then start to loose it after five days. This island also has rocks and whirlpools around it making it very difficult to get too" he says sadly.
"So why does it even matter if I live or die? Just let me die" You ask morbidly.
"You could die any day now (n) but I refuse to let you die" He just stares at you for a long time then goes up to you cups your cheek leans in and kisses you. Shocked but quick on your feet you kiss him back until you both break for air.
"I cant loose another person that I love that includes you (n)" he states softly holding your hand his face blush rose pink.
"I just meant I didnt care if I died because, I've been so in love with you for so long Law... I dont want to die I just wanted true love" he looks at you with a deepened blush as your blush deepens too.
"I never could tell that's why I never said anything before" he says.
"Since there's a chance you may die I just had to tell you" he says gently.
"I need that medicine Law" you say concerned as he nods.
"I'll go to the control room and tell them to adjust course. It will take five days to get there. Do you think you can handle that?" Law asks concern creeping into his voice. You just nod a little unsure but you would dam hell try.
-☆-
Three Days Later
-☆-
"Trafalgar where am I again?" You question face planted on the desk. You both have barley left the office since he found out you ate the insomnia mushroom. He would bring you sleeping pills but they wouldnt work.
"In my office on my desk. I asked you to do paperwork remember" he says becoming more afraid with every passing minute.
"Since the sleeping pills didnt work heres some coffee, you might as well have some" he says placing a cup down next to your head. As you perk up you exclaim.
"Thank you cutie!" You almost yell as he blushes and pulls down his hat still not used to you calling him pet names. As you sip your coffee you realized
"Hey howd you know how I liked my coffee?" You wonder. As you turn to face him
"I kind of liked to watch you from afar before" he states one hand scratching the back of his head the other with a cup of coffee.
"Aweee that is soo sweet Trafalgar" you squeal getting up and hugging him close. He looks shocked but lays a arm around your waist.
"If you can manage to get through this without going insane, theres something I need to talk to you about." He says as you just look up at him.
"Why not now?" He blushes deeply.
"Your mind is not right, right now." He simply states. Rubbing your back with one hand.
"Okay finnee.. let me continue working now." You pull and breakaway from his warm grasp. Going back to the paperwork hours and hours pass with Law bringing you food and water, since you were so focused all you would say is thank you, and not even look at him until the paperwork was depleted. You sigh loudly.
"What's wrong?" Law asks you.
"Now I'm bored! Do you have anything else for me to do?" You ask politely. He looks shocked that you finished all the paperwork.
"Those were about weeks worth of paperwork and you finished in one day?" He questions.
"Yea I can work fast so what?" You say nonchalantly sipping your new coffee.
"I'm switching your position from guard to the office."
"What?! What the hell? Why?" You ask really liking your old position.
"I want to be closer to you, is that all right?" He asks looking down his hat covering his face.
"Well if that's all you wanted you could have just said so." You state quickly as he perks up and you smile at him making him blush which makes you blush. You motion him over and he obeys. You stand and hug him close
"I'm strong willed Trafalgar, I'm still in my right mind, dont you worry, I'm just sooo tired" you admit.
"I can understand that" he says while looking at the clock. Its three am now wow. I hate leaving you alone." He releases you and says
"Room Shambles" "shambles" then reappears in front of you with a crochet needle and yarns. Surprised you ask
"Whered you get all this?" You motion towards the yarns and needle.
"Bepos room, he was asleep I'll explain to him in the morning. Maybe you can crochet him something?" Law says gently handing you the stuff.
"That sounds sweet! I'll do that thank you ... handsome" you say looking away blushing deep red making him blush slightly. You feel a hand on your chin tilting your head upwards he kisses you, you kiss him back deepening the kiss, using your tounge to flick his around feeling him smirk he uses one hand to play with your hair as the other caresses your back. Your hand find its way to his chest and one plays with his hair as you both break for air he looks like hes about to say something but stops.
"Two more days (n)" Law he reluctantly says.
"Its really late and I need to get some sleep. I'll have to see you tomorrow (n)" he says as he slips his hand off of yours while he heads to his bed. You stay at his desk crocheting well into the night and morning. You realize its nine am now and Law and everyone must be awake. You had just finished Bepos hat so you went to walk out the door but bump into someone.
"Excuse me-"
"Its just me (n)" you hear Law say as you see him holding two cups of coffee. He hands you a cup as you take it in one hand Bepos hat in the other.
"Thank you cutie" you say making Law blush slightly.
"Your welcome ... um dear" he manages to say making you blush a deep red. You giggle and sip some coffee.
"I finished Bepos hat I wanted to give it to him" you state as Law nods and let's you pass by him. Once you find Bepo you hold the hat behind yourself and say
"Bepo! Guess what I've made you?" You say happily.
"Hmm what is it (n)?" Bepo asks. You pull out the hat and shove it near Bepo he looks so happy.
"Awee (n) it looks just like Captain's hat. He told me you borrowed my crochet stuff thank youu" Bepo says.
"Oh yea here you go Bepo" you pull out and hand him the rest of the crochet stuff as he holds it.
"Thank you (n) I'll treasure it forever" Bepo says happily while leaving to his room. You walk back to the office to see a Law at his other desk as you sit down on the free desk holding your head up with you elbow. Plopping your head down on the desk you quickly pick your head back up. Law turns around to notice your strange behavior.
"Its time for a check up" he says nonchalantly. You get up and follow him to the med bay sitting on the bed.
"3.2.1." Law inserts the needle and draws your blood while you look away.
"All done" he says placing a gauze and tape over the hole.
Inserting the vile into the medical machine he stares at the screen as information pops up.
Turning to you he seemingly is trying to find words as he says
"Your fighter cells are starting to turn against your body since you havent slept in four days." You just nod understanding but feeling delirious.
"I feel high Law"
"That will happen when you start to hallucinate.. you should stay next to me from now on until I can get your medicine" Law states patting your head. You nuzzle his hand and he blushes slightly.
"I'm so in love with you" you tell him as he blushes deep red.
"I'm in love with you too (n)" he says appeasing you knowing your probably saying these things due to lack of sleep, but not wanting to hurt your feelings.
-☆-
After All Day
-☆-
After helping Law all day staying close to him following him places to and fore. It became dark and night time. In the office,
"I want you to stay with me tonight it may help you too" Law says gently. You just look over to him and nod.
"Okay what do you mean exactly, tomorrow is the day and you need sleep" you says blankly.
"Sleep with me tonight, um not like that but, just rest with me tonight." He stutters blushing deep red pulling his hat down over his face. You giggle and say
"Okay honey pie" you say giggling your head off.
"Whew I'm feeling it oh yea" you say which makes Law frown.
"Well tomorrow is the day so let's go rest now" he says taking your hand leading you to his room which you've never been in before.
"So quaint and cute!" You giggle loudly. As you squeeze Laws hand. He let's go and goes to the closet pulling out his old sweatshirt and sweatpants.
"Here change into these" he holds them for you as you start to take your shirt off he yelps
"In the bathroom, uh change in the bathroom!" He yells blushing wine redfully to his ears.
"Oh right sorry I guess I'm more delusional than I thought you giggle and laugh. Making Law frown. You take the clothes then change in the bathroom. Once done you come out and see Law staring at you blushing at you wearing his clothes.
"See something you like?" You say seductively.
"Why yes I do" Law chuckles at your tone.
"Come here" Law demands and you obey. Sliding into the bed next to him he wraps an arm around you as you both lay down staring into eachothers eyes as you see him start to drift off you pet his head.
"Goodnight Trafalgar" you say as you give him a gentle kiss on his forehead as he falls asleep. The next morning you had stayed awake unable to sleep but getting to see Trafalgars sleeping face was more than enough for you. As he wakes you coo to him.
"Wakey wakey cutie patootie" you say kissing his cheek until he opens his eyes. Looking a back at first but thinking about something he pulls you closer embracing you in a gaint hug.
"I think it's time to see how far -"
"Captain we see the island!" You both hear Bepo yell through the speaker system.
"Well speak of the devil. I have to go (n) stay here try not to uh yea, just be good" he says getting up getting dressed in his cloak grabbing Kikoku.
"Okay love I'll do whatever you say" you say as you sprawl all over the bed.
"Room Shambles"
-☆-
After Hours
-☆-
Your starting to get worried as it's been hours since Law left to the island. The Polar Tang had to submerge as the whirlpools were to much and rocks where everywhere.
"Shambles" you hear as Trafalgar appears cloak ripped, arm slightly bleeding.
"Oh my god what happened?!?!" You yell as Law just takes your hand
"Room Shambles" your both in the med bay now as he walks over to the medicine he made earlier days before. He took out the flower from his cloak and starts to make it into the medicine. Once done he take off his cloak revealing two deep gashes on his arm. He takes the medical drink and gently hands it to you.
"Drink up (n) all of it" you chug the gross drink until its empty starting to feel the effects of tiredness but refusing to sleep yet.
"Let me fix you up Law" you state getting needle and thread, stitching ready.
"Sit down" you say and he obeys as you start stiching him up him hissing. Once done you sterilize and dress his wound.
"What happened Law?" You ask concerned. He looks at you then gently speaks
"This island is home to dangerous ancient dinosaurs I got slashed by a flying one while I dodged three others to get your medicine." He states softly.
"What?! That was too dangerous I was going out of my mind with worry about yo-" you were cut off by Laws lips on yours, melting into him you give a soft moan. Breaking for air he starts to speak.
"Now remember I had something to talk to you about?" he asks you. Cocking your head to the side you say
"Oh right what was it Law?" You question.
"I wanted to tell you after all these four years I've learn something about myself. I'm in love with you. I love you (n). Will you please be my girlfriend? Now that your of sound mind" In shock you think for a minute.
"I'm in love with you as well and I love you too Trafalgar! Of course I'd love to be your girlfriend!" You squeal in happiness and slip your arms through his and hug him gently. As he hugs you back he stands and leads you into his room.
"Being my girlfriend, you dont have to wear that boiler outfit and I'd like you to move into my room" Law says in a whisper.
"Okay I'll move what I have tomorrow but for today and tonight we both need rest" you say as Law nods leading you to the bed you both slip into it while he wraps his non injured arm around you.
"I love you (n)" Trafalgar whispers in your ear making you shiver in happiness.
Looking up to meet his grey eyes you say
"I love you to Trafalgar" you say as you kiss his neck making him shiver.
"We better wait till I'm healed now" he winks at you, cups your cheek and kisses you deeply.
#trafalgar law#trafalgar d water law#law x reader#trafalgar law x reader#one piece x reader#one piece#law one piece#trafalgar law fluff#one piece law
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Heahcanon for JJK Kid!Megumi/ Dad!Gojo sickfic that my computer deleted that I'm thinking about re-writing...
okay so i know i had at one point (like climax of story) Megumi ( i think no older than 12- maybe like 9/ 10... idk) basically being one of those overly emotional and exhausted kiddos. Like his fever is high, he keeps puking, he's sticky and sweaty- Gojo gave him a bath earlier and meds---- but maybe because megs is overly exhausted he can't sleep, or you could have the noisy neighbors aspect (like they are throwing a party or something so everytime Megs goes to fall asleep or starts to relax, the music gets louder which jolts him awake and stuff). Anyway, Gojo has been walking around his apt with Megumi in his arms for over an hour or two because the kid will not stop cryin g(like that loud overly exhausted/ emotional crying kids do) and he's clinging to Gojo (something alarming in itself, and megs keeps crying about how he wants his sister - in my timeline, Tsumiki is already in the hosp and stuff). And Gojo is trying his best to calm the kid down but lets be real, this man is lost most of the time like if Reigen had to take care of Mob, like bruh. Anyway, he lowers infinity at some point and Megumi clings tighter to him, his hot fingers gripping Gojo's shirt/ arms and stuff- and Gojo starts panicking because touch...... eventually Megs falls asleep and Gojo continues walking around his apt (it's like 3/4 am) for a little while for good measure, the kid sagging against him, his tiny fingers still clasped around Gojo before the older man deposits the kid in Gojo's bed (i think i might make it where Meg was pretty sick and accidents happen dude), and basically Gojo lays the kid out on his bed before going into the bathroom and having a panic attack because this is the first time he's lowered infinity in quiet a while. Then he has a flashback to him cleaning Megs scrapped knees and hands or like a busted lip or something a few months back because Megs always got into fights (its a caring situation but also funny.... maybe Megumi defended someone and Gojo actually felt proud of him) and that brings Gojo back/ down from his PA. Eventually he falls asleep next to Megumi, the kid nuzzles in closer next to him when Gojo lays down next to him (at first, Gojo is like, ew child... but I think he'd offer comfort if Meg wanted it) and he rubs his back (because im a sucker for that soft affection), and falls asleep. He wakes up (idk probably like 1pm or something) to tiny fingers poking his cheek and he cracks an eye open to Megumi hovering over him demanding Gojo make toast. Gojo yawns, sitting propping his head up slightly, raising an eyebrow, "Excuse me?"
Megumi, kneeling next to him- "Toast. Make some."
Gojo, smirking slightly, "I see the fever burned away all your manners."
Basically ending on a funny sweet note 🙂
But the start or at least the run down, i had i think Gojo knowing the kid was sick and Megumi being like, no, im fine. And Gojo still kind of hovers (like he makes sure the kid eats, takes meds, that kind of stuff) and then later in the night Megs gets obvi worse.
And like i had a few flashbacks- Megs and Gojo meeting/ Gojo "saving" Megumi from his Devil Dogs (because it was around the first times Megumi summoned them- like he didnt have control over them and they scared him because he's like 5/6). and Gojo being like, "No, it's okay. See? They won't hurt you..."
Basically theyre puppies lol
Then another flashback to Megs visiting Tsumiki, and Gojo would take him to visit when he wanted, but he'd wait in the hallway to give the kid space.
I kind of want one too where Gojo defends Megs, or like he punches another parent (like the kid got into a fight with Megs over something and Megumi was in the right, but the parent said something about Megumi like, "no wonder the kid's fucked up" or something, and Gojo gets mad (maybe he presses Megs behind him) and he ends up punching the parent or something). idk lol
#sickfic#fanfiction#kb#jjk fanfic#JJK#jujutsu kaisen#satoru gojo#Gojo is a dad#gojo is a menace#fushiguro megumi#sick megumi#kid megumi#hurt/comfort#headcanon#manga#anime
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Hello! This is actually my first time ever asking for a request so please bare with me if I'm unclear, can i please have some wolf x reader comfort, very burnt out and tired reader and just wolf tryna do what he can to comfort them:) school hasn't been the best for most of us I'm sure so we can all use some nice comfort from our favorite wolf:] thank you!
hey!! your request was perfect, sin!(is it okay if i call you that?) idk how well me writing a comforting wolf keum is gonna be but i'll give it my best! i hope you enjoy and please do take care of yourself(eat enough, drink some water, and please take breaks and sleep well. you deserve it.) also i apologize that this took so long, i literally wrote half of it and IT DIDNT FUCKING SAVE and i’m in class so i can’t cry, but i’m bawling on the inside.
warning: burnt out reader, mental breakdown, swearing, negative self-talk, wolf name-calling reader affectionately, fluff??
safety net - wolf keum x reader
"This is so stupid. I'm so stupid." You mutter to yourself, drying your freshly rinsed face with the sand-like paper towels that your school could afford. You take a look at yourself in the mirror and your mood only sinks further, the pressure pressing harder on your chest, you mind static yet all thoughts are screaming at you to pull yourself together. You were at school, for fuck's sake. You can't be wasting away, crying in the bathroom. And yet here you are, eye liner creeping down your face, eyes red from crying, eye bags darker than the bottom of the ocean, and a killer headache.
You had just started school, being burnt out wasn't an option. Not when you know that you could do better. You sigh and finish cleaning your face, throwing away the last paper towel in the over flowing trash bin. You trudge out the bathroom and glumly make your way back to class. Everything was screaming at you not to go back. You were too tired, you couldn't pay attention to the teacher if you tried, and the thought of hearing any more information makes you want to cry.
The whole day was hell. One reprimand after another by your teachers for "not paying attention" had killed the morsel of energy you somehow had. All you wanted to do was go home, burrow under your blankets, and hide until everything goes away.
But life never works like that. So as soon as you're released from school, you head straight home, relieved to have some alone time. Your plans quickly disappear when you spot Wolf smoking right out front your door. You sigh and internally bash your head. Of course, the one time you need a break, the universe won't let you. You walk closer to Wolf and asses that he's bleeding.
"Another fight?" You murmur, focusing on unlocking your door. Wolf just hums, putting out his cigarette and following you inside. You toe off your shoes, dump your bag somewhere, and head off to the bathroom where you always keep your med kit. Wolf goes to your kitchen- him having done this enough times to know that you prefer him sitting at the kitchen table than anywhere else.
What he didn't expect, though, is for you to take so damn long grabbing the kit. Two minutes passed by before he gets fed up and waltz's into your bathroom, demanding to know what you're doing. The words fall deaf on his tongue when he sees you sitting on your bathroom floor, knees to your chest, struggling to breathe.
It was minutes of awkward silence. You were aware that Wolf was watching you from the bathroom doorway, you just didn’t have energy to do anything about it. “The kit’s on the counter, just give me a second. I’ll be fine.” You mutter, rubbing at your face to try and ground yourself.
Wolf didn’t move, making you feel even more on display. “Fuck that.” He stated, moving to sit next to you on the floor. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you down to lay your head on his lap. His hand went to your side, probably to keep you there you assume. Wolf’s other hand pulled out a cigarette and lit it between his lips. “I’ll stop bleeding eventually.”
You didn’t fight, opting to just close to your eyes to enjoy the moment, finally feeling yourself relax. The next thing your conscious of is opening your eyes, finding yourself in your bed. Blinking yourself into reality, you stare as your clock stares back at you with 4:03 am viciously blazing against the black screen. Once the information processes in your brain, you kick your way out of your blankets and stumble out of your room to find Wolf.
He wasn’t on the couch he normally crashes on, so he must be in the kitchen raiding your fridge again, right? Wrong. Wolf’s not there either. You walk into the bathroom and, again, find nothing except your phone and the bathroom smelling like antiseptic.
You wrinkle your nose at the blunt smell and reach for your phone. Below the clock, you see text messages from Wolf.
wolfy: i put the kit back in the cabinet, go back to sleep dumbass.
Wolfy: Also don’t come to school tomorrow, i’ve got an excuse ready and i’ll beat your ass if i can’t use it.
You smiled at the texts after realizing what they meant. You relaxed and wandered back into your room, charging your phone.
Sleep was easy to find after you nestled back into your bed, feeling much more at ease with knowing that you don’t have to go to school tomorrow.
The next day, you wake up leisurely and go to grab some food in the kitchen. A large, styrofoam take out box startles you and you hesitate taking it out of the fridge. You haven’t ordered take out in weeks, but once you opened the lid, you immediately knew it was Wolf who got you the food.
It was your go-to order from the restaurant that Wolf took you to once months ago. You two have been there a couple times since but you didn’t think that Wolf would know what you ordered.
The rest of the day was filled with little surprises that weren’t there before. And each one brought you a little more joy. Maybe Wolf did care more than he let on, little shit.
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Stay With Me [Luca Kaneshiro X Reader SickFic]
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(Ok... This is my first time making a sickfic and it kinda sucks- I'm not very proud of this one 😭, I hope to improve in the future. Well then i hope you enjoy this failed sickfic i made 😔)
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"luca!! We need to go now!" You shouted not so loudly as you knocked on the door at the same time.
"luca???" You asked, knocking again many times on the same door.
"....." it was all silent
"Luca!!!" You raised your voice a little this time. Luca still didn't respond
'luca isn't responding... He always respond to me... what if...' You got worried, what if something bad happened to him?
You don't like barging into a room without permission as it's like disrespecting others privacy... but you're very worried
*THUD* a loud sound was heard inside the room
'HUH?! WHAT HAPPENED THERE?! What if... B-but im disrespecting his privacy if do that- ...' You distressed, hesitating wether to go or not.
'Ugh... Fuck it, ill deal with this later!' You thought as you opened the door "IM COMING IN!"
*Creak*
*Door opens*
"Luc- LUCA!" You yelled worriedly as you quickly runs towards him. The sight of luca in the floor closed eyes, with a blanket wrapped around him
Luca's eyes is slowly opening... He blinked many times before asking- "Ah... Sorry... Did i woke you up?". He has a very deep hoarse morning voice.
'huh... Why is his voice more ruspy than usual?... Maybe im just overthinking it..' You noticed
"No you didnt... but What happened???!" You blurted, frowning your eyebrows
"And why are you in the floor?!"
"Ah... That... I guess i fell while sleeping?... Im fine really-" He tried to reassure you but got interrupted by a cough
*COUGH COUGH COUGH*
"Wha- that's not 'fine'..." You sighed at luca's stubborn personality but then-
*Stands up*
"W-wait!-" Luca tried to protest but then coughed again
"Hushhhh" you whispered, moving your finger into luca's soft pink-ish lips
Currently, You are carrying luca bridal style in your arms. Luca's.... Not that heavy like you expected. 'Maybe he don't eat that much?...'
You put him in the bed carefully as possible like handling a vulnerable glass doll
"Stay still" You declared with a stern voice, knowing luca is a very stubborn person. Worse if he is sick... I hope he is not sick- i hope its just a little coughing... I hope its not worse...
You sighed, moving your right hand to luca's face, stroking the apples of his cheeks with my thumb, feeling the warm skin... Its too Warm... Luca's face feels warm. Luca never feels warm like this... What if...
“What are yo-” luca mumbles, confused
“You’re really hot, luca.” you interrupted him off.
“i-... thanks?" luca chuckled a bit. 'It's good seeing him cheered up a bit...'
You rolled your eyes, “No, well, yes- but no , you’re burning up luca...”you stated. Very worried
“Like a fever?” luca asks.
"I hope not..." You commented, Knowing deeply its possible
"How do you feel?” You questioned, holding one of luca's hands into your own.
“... Its kinda hot when i put my blanket.. and its very cold when i pulled it off... i guess thats why i slept in the floor with a blanket..” luca tries to explain.
'Oh god' you thought, Luca is definitely sick....
'Shit- fuck fuck what do i do-' You panicked inside
"Wait here" You said going to the kitchen and then making a soup...
While making the soup, You tried your best even tho you're not a very well cook. You heard coughs and sniffs inside the room.
After finishing, you moves(idk what the word is 😭😔) around the room trying to find the meds and prepared everything thats needed for luca's treatment. You goes back to the room where luca is in right now and quietly opened the door.
"Luca... The food is ready..." You then goes towards luca's bed and sees him inside the blanket.. its seems he is shivering... Aww poor luca... He looks so frail... It makes me wanna bully him mor- (ehem- anyways-)
"Luca... Its time to eat now..." You said with a very soft and caring voice while you ready the soup
"Nggggg....." Luca groaned, taking of the soft big blanket around him. It showed luca's teary eyes and frowny eyebrows
"Unpog :(" Luca sniffed softly and sickly.
"Bossss :<" you responded, Worried for him. (Some lucub calls him boss, but if you dont then pls ignore that previous sentence 😅)
You sat down on the chair in front of the bed and then put the bowl of soup on the table. You scooped and blows it to make it not too hot to burn the tongue. You then moves the spoon towards luca's soft lump lips
"Ahhh" you said, teasing him
"...ugh... you... tease..." Luca whispered as he blushed bright red. He then comply and procceed to eat the soup
*After finishing*
"There! You did a good job luca" Your habits of praising luca slipped out again
"Thank you..." Luca whispered shyly as he blushed
"Hehe" he's so cute... Wanna tease him more. But he's sick for now.. so maybe later
"Luca, You need to take your medicine" You insisted, getting ready for the meds and water.
".....this is very unpogggg" Luca complained but still forced himself to drink the meds
"Yuck-" He then said after
"You've done well luca" You said, smilling softly at him. He smiled back at you but still have teary eyes because of the pain of sickness. The tears broke your heart but all you can do is to take care of him and wait for him to heal.
Luca then got back on his sleeping position in the bed and then closes his eyes. Maybe sleeping to endure the pain?... You then get a cloth and washed it. Of course making it not to cold nor uncomfortable.
After that, you carefully placed the cool damp washclothe on his forehead and let him sleep.
When you were about to leave-
"Nggg...." Luca mumbled as he tucked your clothes and-
"..Dont go.... Stay with me.... Please..?" Luca pleaded quietly. Aurgh- (my simp is showing) Hes so cuteeeeee. Ughhh you'll be the death of me lucaaaaa 😭
"Ok... Alright... I'll be here with you... I wont go anywhere.. i promise.." you smiled at him warmly and goes back to the chair while holding his right hand
"....hng... Not enough.... Can you please.. cuddle with me?..." Luca begged cutely
'HOW CAN I SAY NO WITH THAT CUTE FUCKING FACEEEEEEE STAHP' You panicked inside then responded with "..ok.."
You then goes to the bed and then luca pulled you to his arms, hugging you and clinging onto you. Wtf hes so strong- you cant get out of his grip. Hes a fricking damn mafia for a reason-
'well.... I mean... I could stay in here for a little longer..' you smiled softly, cuddling with the one you loves the most
You patted his head, touching his blonde hair.. it feels so soft.... You then put your lips into his forehead and kissed his forehead.
"Goodnight and Get well soon... My sunshine" You whispered quietly
You could say the night is the most peaceful and comdortable one you've had... No nightmares or uncomfortable coughing/sniffing. Instead, was filled with cuddling and kisses... and maybe two love birds quietly tweeting at the night
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Next day
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"Ah.... Sorry..." You chuckled as luca is currently healed... And you are the one in his place.
"....I'll take care of you... Life you took care of me... Thank you and get well... My love" luca whispered the last part, and smiled at you with so much warmness...
You smiled at him back. Ah... Maybe getting sick isnt that bad..
_____________
Ok, This is inspired by:
I saw this pic in insta and knew instantly what im gonna write 🗿
#luca kaneshiro#luca kaneshiro x reader#reader#x reader#fluff#relaxing oneshot to help you with ur stress in life cause it sucks#soft and warm kisses#cuddles#sick/comfort#comfort#we cant have this irl so here we are-#nijien#nijisanji en#nijisanji#luxiem#what the fuck is this shit#i need sleep#help#im addicted#luca my beloved#luca kaneshiro supremacy#sickfic#sick fic#sickness#coughing#sniffles#relaxing#sleeping#cuddling#peaceful
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My gastroparesis driving me up a wall. And by that i mean ive been barely eating for over a week now and my symptoms still arent improving and im really not havin a great time im exhausted my bodys in pain trying to get me to Rest but i gotta work full time and my abdomen absolutely hurts but painkillers slow digestion even More so ive been laying down on heatpad as much as possible and i really dont wanna go back to an All Liquid diet (but even if i did im at the nausea and vomiting point of a gastroparesis flare which means even liquid only im likely to throw up either way) and like. I just wanna comfort eat bread cause i feel miserable exhausted in pain and it would be a small joy. But bread is absolutely not something i can eat during a flare. I can only eat it when doing good if i take benedryl. Im so angry and tired and id like to sleep for days. And i gotta still Make myself eat chips and protein shakes even tho i got nausea cause my gi meds dont work unless i eat Something. Even if i got nausea and tons of pain wooh
Anyway im getting flack from family for being so tired the last week and i love em and all but its awful feeling guilty for not calling Enough when its like goddamn eating (something humans gotta do at least once a day) hurts phenomenally and i barely can but i obviously desire to like any human then i eat and Ouch my body didnt fucking like that and punished me for it and im so mad. I feel awful and yeah im mad i dont got energy to hide how much pain im in and chat false enthusiastically for 20 minutes after already doing it all thru work. I had 1 teaspoon of peanut butter today and my remaining options are soup broth (but it had beans cooked in it and my body cant take fiber today so idk if its worth the risk of any accidental beans) and salad (which is of course raw vegetables fiber very hard on stomach rn so i can probably just eat a handful size portion and hopefully ill chew enough its mush and my body will tolerate it). And a protein shake (but its got fiber and is made of chickpeas i think for the protein so idk if my body is tolerating it or not im just drinking it so i dont have no calories). I had chips yesterday but i think my body considered it too solid or large to digest idk cause im eveb worse today. I also had toast yesterday cause i was so angry and hungry and wanted comfort food. So of course that messed me up. Which means i should take more benedryl. But then i wont just be hungry and pain tired, ill also be drug tired. And im so sick of being miserablr all day at work just to pass out the second its over cause allergy meds knocked me out then ive lost all day. But without allergy meds i can eat hardly anything i like. I mean i cant eat rn but like. Right before this fuckjng flare and hopefully once its over. Im just sick of it. Im tired and when i go to therapy next week shell probs ask oh what do you do to stress relief and its like... i get it but are u fucking kidding me. Im knocked unconcious from benedryl. And tired anyway cayse no food, and pain nonstop from gi tract. So im barely doing anything. I cant really get outta bed cause i need the 4 sq feet heatpad or ill be in agony over my abdomen. Dont have tv in room so i can use phone i guess. So tired i can barely keep eyes open or think so im not writing reading or watching shows on phone. I can idk listen to a reaction or lets play since if i fall asleep and wake up i dont need to follow a plot. But like im not in a state to be going for a fucking walk (i wish! I wanna dance and walk but my abdomen and back feel awful and im so tired im dizzy when i stand) or hang out w friend, which im sure idk shed prefer to hear some productive ass activity like god im just trying to keep myself employed and out of the ER until the flare rights itself. Please
And i know jts not that bad. Ive been worse. I couldnt eat solid food for 6 months once. I was in the ER weekly it was so bad i blocked most of it outta memory. This is only a couple weeks. And i havent thrown up much! I was throwing up 5 times daily back then. And i have had chips and peanut butter! I recognizr thats nice, i got some solid food and held it down! I know my gastroparesis is EONS LESS severe than it was when it started.
Its just like. It still sucks barely eating for weeks and any eating hurting immensely and nonstop nausea for days and pain not lowering. Like a normal healthy person might snap from anger if they try to go 20 hours without eating, or crash and need to eat to keep going, or just be run down as fuck and justifiable if they barely do anything that day. But i go days like that and im expected to just appear fine and live life normally like im not worn down af and just desperate to not feel nausea and pain and i just really wanna eat again. Normally.
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❣️ Artemis and Apollo but like,,,,,, familial love. If you don’t mind of course :)
Of course I don’t mind! Sibling, non-romantic ships are so valid and underrated
Who is the little spoon?
Apollo. Artemis is incredibly protective of her younger twin, even when they’re just chilling together
Who sings in the shower?
Apollo, and Artemis will yell “SHUT UP!” because she’s so tired of hearing the same songs over and over
Who plays pranks on the other?
They’re constantly trying to one-up one another, so it’s about even. They have a silent, unspoken prank war going on right now, and Artemis is planning something big because he just got her good
Who is the one who listens to pop music?
Apollo, but artemis surprisingly doesn’t hate all of it. She likes the woman-empowering songs like God is A Woman and That’s My Girl
Who brings the other a random cup of joe?
Apollo loves buying his sister coffee. She always stops whatever she’s doing to thank / hug him. It makes him feel like a good brother, and he knows that while coffee can’t fix everything, it makes her day better
Who picks the cheesy movies for date night?
Artemis and Apollo love renting out a movie theater room on some of their sibling outings (so they can watch whatever movie that’s coming out they agreed on seeing together), so they can be loud and distracting as they want. They’re both big movie critics, so yes they need the whole place to themselves to be openly expressive
Who is more likely to feed the other in public?
“Try this shit” “wait no you try mine first” “ew your germs are on that spoon” “shut up we’re practically the same person” “no we aren’t!?” Somehow people never mistake them as a couple. Probably because they’re so chaotic about eating out together
Who gives the other random little compliments?
Apollo is very open about it, and Artemis is not, but it’s about even. The other gods get surprised when they hear Artemis compliment her brother, but Apollo is used to it
Who is always stealing food from the other’s plate?
They’re siblings. It’d be weird if they DIDNT steal from each other’s plate
Who is more likely to let the other borrow their car?
Artemis is surprisingly very willing to let him take her car. She doesn’t really use it anyways since she’s often in the woods on the Hunt
Who makes the list before they go grocery shopping?
Artemis, but she’s good at letting Apollo sneak in his snacks. She acts like it’s a big deal but has never made him put anything back
Who makes sure the other takes their meds when sick?
Apollo takes really good care of Artemis when she’s sick. That’s probably the only time when he acts like the older, more mature sibling
Who watches sports and has to teach the other the rules?
Apollo loves watching track and field during the Olympics, and that doesn’t take much explaining lmfao. Artemis is too busy with the Hunt to watch sports for pleasure, but she’ll watch some womens’ basketball sometimes
Who pulls the other to their feet for a dance in the living room?
Apollo, and Artemis will roll her eyes, but she loves her and his crazy 1 a.m. dance parties. They have a game where they’ll see how loud they can be before one of the other gods yells at them to go to sleep
Who has to keep reminding the other to hurry or they’ll be late?
Artemis isn’t used to being on a time constraint because she lives in the woods. Apollo will hold the sun in place if he needs more time to get ready, so neither.
Who is the one most likely to get a tattoo with the other’s name?
Artemis has a sun and an arrow tattooed on her right wrist, and apollo has a crescent moon and a matching arrow on his left one. (They’re mirror twins too, meaning one is right handed and the other is left)
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going to get overly personal family stuff so among us nendoroid for your time and my thirteen yr old brothers response to me sending it to him
Went to visit my aunt & uncle since they couldnt come over like they usually do since theyre taking care of my other uncle. i almost didnt to atall because i know hes gotten a lot worse hes sleeping pretty much all the time and cant eat or respond to anybody really they switched his meds to just make him as comfortable as possible and it so fucking sucks i spent most of the time there in tears and then choking and sobbing behind my mask whenever somebody would hug me like god. they asked if i wanted to spend some time with my uncle alone and i couldnt do it i feel so fucking selfish for it but it is literally the most gut wrenching thing to see him like that. everybody else did it but i couldnt. he bought us presents though before he started getting bad so we got them and it sucked but he got me the witcher books because we had talked about the show and how i was interested in reading them and he remembered and got them for me but i dont know if i can read them at all now. my mom is so beyond upset about this of course thats literally her little brother i cant fucking imagine if anything happened to kimmy. And kimmy oh my god i feel so fucking bad he has the same birthday as our uncle and our uncle was SO insanely like over the moon that happened and always called kim his little birthday present his birthday buddy so he is a mess and i wish i could make it all go away for him. One of the absolute worst things to ever fucking happen to me he was teaching me to drive and he was excited about my 21st birthday and was so proud i had decided i wanted to go to college i know its soo lame because hes my uncle but he was like my best friend i cant fucking stand the idea im never gonna see him again. Last timw we went to visit he could hardly make any sense but right before we left i went over to him again to hold his hand and he squeezed it and said i love you buddy and it was the most like him he had sounded and looked in a long time and its so hard. i cant keep typing its making me cry ans my head hurt so bad ok sorry if you read any of this at all its so stupid personal to put online bht i dont know its christmas my friends are celebrating i cant just go like hey so im miserable. whatever ok. napping now
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Beauty and the Beast AU 9
orange-plane-boy — 08/28/2021 11:59 PM
He leaved the horse in what he suppose was once the house'stall, covering him with a blanket and giving him a bunch of hay and apples.
Now part two, dragging sleeping beauty in the house.
He had 0 energy to climb the stairs, laying him on the couch of the living room, turing on the fire and covering him.
He sighed.
Oh right the medicine!
He took it out his bag; going in the kitchen and filling a glass with water, since pills werent a thing aready, the medicine was a powder that wolud turn into a sticky beverage when mixed with water.
He got back to the living room, and like he did with the water today, he slowly feed it to the boy
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 12:01 AM
even in his grotesque form, he was completely out cold. the fever didn't seem to have dropped any lower, though laying in the snow for a while was actually kind of nice. But it didn't seem like he'd wake up any time soon.... if at all....
orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 12:05 AM
Narancia didnt really looked the best too, all sweating for running, his clothes pretty much thorned and now without his gloves there was a rash on both his hands from when he had to move the boy around
He looked at the boy, nervous of his state
"C'mon you cant die now that i did all that street for getting you a med" he murmured, sitting on the floor, next to the couch
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 12:06 AM
there's no telling if his fever would break, but for now he was at least out cold. no screams or moans or teeth gritting tonight.
orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 12:10 AM
Narancia dragged himslef to the nearest armchair, curling up in the little space of it.
His eyes flickering between the boy and the fireplace.
He wasnt that...scary, after you looked at him for a while, maybe it was just that he got used to him and that he had to drag him for some miles, but, even like that you could see he was a teen somehow.
As time passed his head started to move down, as he slowly was passing out from exaustation
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 12:13 AM
The first thing Narancia could feel in the morning was someone dropping a blanket over him. sunshine pored into the livingroom, reflecting on the snow that had fallen during the night.
orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 12:15 AM
"Nh..." he curled himslef for a bit, wanting to sleep some more, but then he slowly opened his eyes
"Fugo...?"
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 12:16 AM
"hm mm?" Fugo sat back down on the couch, rubbing his brow. He still looked rather feverish, but the worst was over.
orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 12:17 AM
"Nh...Morning.." he rubbed his eyes and streched
"Mh..you need to eat breakfast and then take more medicine" he murmured going to the kitchen
"Can you eat eggs?"
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 12:19 AM
"Unless there's a life embryo in it, I can..." he wrapped another blanket around himself, still shivering with fever.
orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 12:21 AM
"Ok!" He got to the kitchen; coming back a bit later with a plate of freash bread and scrambled eggs, a glass of milk and another with the medicine
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 12:24 AM
his head was still swaying and he was fighting to not go on and sleep for another few hours. but he looked at Narancia attentive as he returned.
orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 12:30 AM
"Here!" He sat down and took a bite of the bread
"You should eat first and take the medicine then!" He kinda scolded
"And...Thanks for saving my ass last night"
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 12:33 AM
"hngg💢 you're loud..." he muttered. He ate obediently, though.
"I did...? I...I don't remember, sorry...."
orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 12:34 AM
"Sorry? Dude you saved me from fucking wolves!" He laughed
"And dont talk about being loud"
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 12:35 AM
He grumbled, he had a point.....
"'sorry' that I don't remember..."
orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 12:37 AM
"Mh..you dont remeber what you do all nights or just because you have a fever?'
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 12:38 AM
"I remember some things, normally. Mostly you not being in your room when I told you to💢 So I guess I'm drawing a blank because of the fever...." he took the medicine like a good boy, though he pulled a face with it.
orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 12:40 AM
"Sorry!" He laughed
"To be fair the second time i was worried because you werent in the house.
But then i got a bit less worried when you tried to climb the window"
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 12:47 AM
"hmm....." he sighed. "I'm not used to keeping account of other people during the night. since I had managed to find my way outside and had been significantly less destructive 2 nights back, I thought I'd try to stay outside during twilight... The pain isn't as heavy when I'm outside aswell."
orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 12:49 AM
"But you got a fever..."
He murmured as he keept eating
"Can i asked you a thing? Well two"
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 12:52 AM
Yeah, is what his trial and error has gotten down to.
"Alright. But you'll have to wait and see if I'll answer..."
orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 12:53 AM
"Ok...whats the dome outside and umh, i found a drawing of a black haired woman in the library"
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 12:58 AM
"......" he leaned his arms on his knees.
"I'm not sure what drawing you refer to.
Before, you suggested there may be someone else that can stop this curse. and you asked if I planned to stay here until I die...
There's just one person I know who could break the spell. She's also the one who tended to that dome and I never managed to lay a finger on it.
....But I have no way of finding her."
orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 1:00 AM
"Mh..why?" He asked shyly
"And also who? Maybe i can find her!"
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 1:05 AM
He shook his head. "The last time I saw her was 10 years ago... She could be anywhere by now.
No one knew it of her, but she was a very promising magician. She kept it a secret.
She was a gardener, but used to look after me a lot too. My parents fired her at some point, but she taught me the basics..."
orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 1:07 AM
"Well, what was her name?? Did you know from where she was from??"
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 1:09 AM
He shrugged. "Close by enough to commute. My parents wanted her to be a live in gardener, but she refused. She didn't want to separate from her child....
All I know is her name was Mela."
orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 1:16 AM
"...." he sat down again, taking a second to process what Fugo just said to him.
That name was so unique...and working as a garderner...
"Hold on- you got to shitting me"
He took off a locker, inside there was a picture of a south asian woman with modest clothes
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 1:18 AM
"w-........." he held his breath, staring at the locker for long.
His eyes then glided up to Narancia's face, noticing the resemblance now.
".......where is she now?"
orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 1:19 AM
"Uh..." he bit his lip, trying to give the news "She, umh, she is not here anymore, got a nasty infection and didnt made it"
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 1:20 AM
".............." he closed his eyes and swallowed hard, sitting back. "......I see...... I'm sorry..."
orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 1:21 AM
He shaked his head
"Its ok...Its been a lot of time ago, i kinda got over it"
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 1:22 AM
"that's....... you're her only child? she spoke of you a lot."
orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 1:22 AM
"Yeah..." he sighed "But she...She never told me about the magic stuff-"
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 1:24 AM
He nodded. "Magic is usually only found among nobles... for a commoner to have magic, it would be a very harsh path..."
orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 1:24 AM
"Mh..." he sighed "Then what now? I still want to help you"
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 1:25 AM
He sighed. "Now nothing. At least I know for a certainty that the only 2 people who could have stopped it are gone now.... rather a bitter reality than a false hope.."
orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 1:26 AM
"Thats...Thats not fair" he sighed looking at the rash on his fingers
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 1:27 AM
"But it is what it is...." though Fugo looked like he could just plunge into the pits of despair, he was quiet and calm.
orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 1:29 AM
"Sorry..." he murmred looking away
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 1:29 AM
He shook his head in silence.
orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 1:31 AM
"Its ok if i go in the dome for a bit? I umh...I dont have really a lot of her beside this picture"
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 1:31 AM
He nodded. "of course...."
orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 1:32 AM
"Mh..." he sighed and got is jacket on, going outside to the dome
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 1:33 AM
Fugo considered if he should follow, but.....
He was still too dazed and weak from the fever, and... he didn't have the right.
orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 1:35 AM
Nara got inside; no wonder he felt good there, he layed down, looking at the flowers and plants
...but also...yeah inside there was warm, but no way it was just the dome at keeping the plants alive for years, in winter! Must been something!
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 1:41 AM
It had a lot of her favorite flowers too. The white clematis, sunflowers, daisies, mimose, even an apple tree and some small orange trees. there were also lavender, chamomile, roses, strawberry plants, baby breath.
orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 1:43 AM
Nara felt some tears in his eye... how he didnt noticed before?
He choked a sob, missing her...maybe if he did a better job at taking care of her, she would be still here and fix everything
purplecraze — 08/29/2021 1:51 AM
I guess we'll never know. but at least Fugo is still alive, you managed to fix his fever.
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I’m feeling bad about myself so I guess I’ll get in a pity time rant... sorry about that and please ignore this post
This is just me letting out some of my sorrows... I guess missing my therapy this week bc I was too focused on work didn’t help at all so I’ve to let it out
Well I’m feeling like shit bc I cant afford to live... Yay!! (life is hell too, but mostly bc of money and tiredness)
Get in the line, right?
So many people are going through this, I should stop mopping about it... I truly feel bad about being like that
like yeah u’re fucked, but if this is all u think about, will it solve anything? It ain’t, right? and I know that, i do, but still I’m always so terrified and concerned about everything and what the fuck i’m gonna do
I feel like a freaking burden and an incompetent adult... like this job doesnt pay me enough for surviving, but it isnt even a minimum age job and I really cant get anything better, I dont have enough qualifications or experience for getting anything else even in the same payment range
I work a lot, I don’t get paid enough and to help all that I have no day for receiving my payment ... it’s already the 11th day of the month and I didn’t get my payment yet, last month I receiveid my payment at the 27th of the month so I’m always stressed about if i’ll have money to pay my bills before their due date
I’m also always stressed that I’ll lose this job too... I’ve no way to surviving without it...Yay!!! How fun!!!
I eat awlfully bad and basically every single person in my life is concerned about it, but 1 i dont know how to cook and yes i know that i could look it up recipes in the internet and try until I get it right, but that get me to my second problem:
I dont have enough energy to try... I literally live all my days without energy
stress + an anxiety disorder + depression + bad eating habits + not being in the sun ever + no exercising + terrible sleeping quality = me feeling like shit and always tired as fuck every single day of my life
what gets me to not having energy even for the most simple tasks, including cooking, showering, brushing my teeth, etc.... I cant be trust even to eat, sometimes i dont even have enough energy to freaking eat
I’m always concerned about not having enough money to pay my bills + my meds + food + the least of my cat’s necessities + the house things i have to buy interchangeably with my roommates... and i dread having to ask for help of my family bc it feels like a certification of failure
I’m so out of it that I’ve medical exams requests pilling up, bc even tho my aunt decided pay a health insurance for me (god bless her soul), bc she was concerned about me, doing the exams mean that I’ve to pay for go there and comeback + whatever meds or wtv they ask for wtv they find wrong.... so i dont go + I’ve little to no energy to deal with it
I mean i have a pain in my jaw, that I’m pretty sure that i displaced, for more than 4 weeks and i didnt go to look it up bc i know i cant afford wtv they ask me to do about it... I literally am in pay all day, every day at least an mild way, in a good day and eating and opening my mouth hurts like hell, but here i am just pretending nothing is happening, bc u know, poor people cant afford getting hurt
Dude, I was even like “I’ll go to a nutritionist to learn how to drink less milk so I can save money” but then i learned that i cant just get an appointment with one, i’ve to go to another doctor and this doctor has to give me an referral to go to them... I dont have enough energy for that... common help a bitch out
How much I’m trying to save up?
I avoid to take meds so I dont finish them and have to buy more... headaches, flu, stomachache, diarrhea or wtv only gets to be treated with meds if it doesnt go away by itself
I count my meds so i can make my psychiatrist appointment when it’s about to end so I dont have to buy different meds and waste the ones I already bought bc he changed them for others... are the actual ones working perfectly? probably not, but at least I wont lose money with that
(they change my meds a lot bc everything seems to stop making effects on me or at very least not making enough effects T-T )
My family wants me to buy hair supplements bc I’m getting more and more bald... i dont have money for that sweeties lol
like genetically i’m supposed to have not that much hair, but u add the stress, the anxiety and the depression to it and u get me losing more and more hair, to the point i have some bald spots and need to get my hair in some specifc ways so they dont show... Yay me³ !!
(for my family: please sweeties stop caring, i cant afford shit)
Ohh I forgot to metion, my job (home office) that doesnt pay me enough to survive normally now wants me to go to the office for meetings so lets add more travel fees to the already overpast budget
since i’ve all that going on my skin is terrible bc u know it doesnt really answers well to all that... so I’ve bad hair, bad skin, not enough money to surviving (what is leisure? I’ve no idea of what it’s to do anything for fun... i cant afford such a thing lol), enough stress, anxiety e depression to make be in the very edge + u know all the health stuff not being look up and no energy
i dont know whats peace of mind for so long now that I’m losing it, but at least I’m doing it with a smile in my face so at least my family doesnt feel burdened lol
so I guess i’m doing peachy and everything is okay lol
Well at very least I’ve my Agatha... she’s the bright side of my life
the little meow meow keeps me haging there, my baby girl is an angel and i love her with all my heart
*Me having a hard time at working*: look at my cat and go “well, I’ve to pay ur food sweetie potato... so let’s keep going”
*me not wanting to get out of bed*: remembers I’ve to feed my baby and attend to it and get up graciously as a freaking zoombie but i do
and so on
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Well, well, well... now that I started to talk about Agatha, let it out and I cried a river I’m felling a little better
So since I’m using this as a adjunct therapy or somenthing I guess I feel like doing smt every therapist told me to do but I didnt do bc I felt like it would just make me feel worse, bc I cant have it... making a list of things I would want
I guess the first thing would be: be capable to pay all my things without problems. U know? not having to get worried about money
the second would be: be able to upgrade the things I use in my daily life
the third: be able to give Agatha all the things I think she would like... treats, the best cat food, environmental enrichment and anything and everything she shows interested in
fourth would be: probably buy the things I like or want just bc I want to , without worrying about expending money... what totally includes buying things for all the people that I care about to my hearts content and giving them (or sending them) all the things that make me think of them and giving money to all the people that i cross asking for it or working in the crossroad
- maybe taking care of the health things that have to be taken care of (it should be somewhere in the list i guess) lol
- do things for fun
- learn things for pleasure
- buy things for and do diy things ( i love to create and to do new things)
- learn new languages... like a new one every time I finish the last one
- relearn Interior Design stuff and learn Graphic Design (i love do things in the computer)
- have a job that I like... I mean I really like (and I know that even like what u do u dont like it every day but still can u imagine working in something that makes u want to get up in the morning happily)
- retrieve my reading ability and read a lot (buy all the books that catch my eyes *---* )
- getting to know more awesome people
- learning physical things that I find cool (like i dont have any affinity with anything physical, I have no strenght either, I also have labyrinthitis what makes me give every time I try)
- buy my mom and my mom a house and give them enough money that they dont need to be worried about bills anymore (well this is probably higher in the list but since is a bigger thing I only thought about it now lol )
- taking care of my apparence I guess... I mean I would love to be able to dress in a way that i like and really be able to try things and find my own style but it would be cool to try to take care of own self too i guess... I’m not much but I guess with money and effort even I could get better, I mean my best can not be the best but still my best
- living in nice place that i’m not scared of being thrown out at any minute (renting a room in a strangers place is very worrisome)
- OMG!! I just thought it: Go visit my international friends !!!! *----* (this one is hella important)
- do something praise worth
- have a little waterproof portable speaker so i can hear music while showering
edit: somewhere in the begginig would be not being tired and not feeling miserable all the time, getting over my social phobia, stop having panic attacks, not driving myself insane with anxiety and intrusive thoughts, having my attention spam back, get over my body dysmorphia ... I went all for material things and forgot some pretty important stuff
This list didnt get not even close of the right order lol
it just went in the i just thought about it order lol
I guess I cant think of anything anymore... I’m already tired of dreaming of things I cant have lol
but it was kind of fun think about nice things
#ranting#bullshiting#ignore this#i had forgotten the read more thing#i should be using it in every personal post#lol#nothing to see here folks#how do u spend ur weekend night?#crying my ass off#while taking stuff out of my chest for no one to see#i guess letting all out is hard but at least it feels a little less burdening#not wanting to let anyone see this side of u is hard bc u dont have anyone to talk about it#but i prefer to not burden anyone just bc i feel bad#but rn thinking about it I guess I would like the people i love to tell me if they are having a hard time#even if i couldnt help i would like to at least listening to them#what a hipocrite#maybe i should talk with someone#maybe#maybe someone would not feel the same#idk#well i just took way too much time writing all this#now ill just let it go#bc im really tired and emotionally exhausted
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its so hard to find the balance of being informed and knowing whats happening, and focusing on my mental stability.
bc on one hand no matter what i do it feels like i cant just block it all out. it feels wrong. and i mean block everything. as in ignoring every post, not reading anything thats going on in palestine. or any other place
to just pretend like its not happening is not something I feel comfortable doing even if it might help mentally. but i dont even think id be able to
i dont need to see the videos or the pictures or read graphic summaries. and that is enough, is to even do the bare minimum
but even the bare minimum feels like too much.
and lately no matter how much i distance myself from it all its already in my head
and sometimes it feels like im off my pills. when i used to have strong delusions of reality being a simulation or of being watched etc
paranoid delusions and shit like that
like when i say i feel like im going insane i literally feel it. it feels familiar. but worse in a lot of ways
like i know what is happening is real but i can barely comprehend it.
i know what i see is real but through a lense its easy for my brain to just be confused at what im seeing. or hearing.
its a simialr feeling to when we read about the holocaust in school and when i saw pictures and read personal accounts.
i knew that it was real, it felt real to a point, but its like it didnt feel real in a way like so shocking that it causes dissociation
and like im doing the most i can do for myself. because theres no ignoring everything bc i already know its happening.
and now i have to manage my psychosis that im keeping at bay. and then ofc on top of that taking care of my grandma and both pets
amongst other things
i havnt felt this bad in a long time.
luckily i have stuff to distract myself but its like
always on in the background of my mind. it feels so claustrophobic like i want to break things
its hard to keep the right mindset and not just blow up at people, or to be 'reactionary'. which, i mean emotions first thoughts second.
its hard to push that down and act appropriately and normally. and to actually be able to think about what im saying
like its so hard to not cry or dream about this stuff. and like weed doesnt even help, and theres no way im going back to drinking
so its like i just have to raw dog the emotions.
idk maybe ill try edibles again, bc the smoking just isnt good for me
i just hope at least my grandma is able to get out of pain bc im getting so stressed im starting to think about adopting my pets out again just to be able to function
having to take misha out every 20 minutes fucking sucks. having to feed them sucks. having to take her out and scoop and to scoop cowboys cat box sucks
and im not getting enough sleep but at the same time somehow getting too much sleep
and then my tablet needing a replacement
and my room is a mess and trying to keep the dishes clean but they pile up every few days
and then just wanting to enjoy something like food and all im eating is gluten and its making me physically ill and in pain and tired
im dehydrated bc i drink at most an 8 oz glass of water a day, but on average a cup
which makes my muscles weak, im having trouble breathing
somehow im keeping it together
luckily im back on my meds
my grandma could die soon when she gets surgery and i really hope that doesnt happen bc i can not handle that rn at all
its just too much
also going to turn 31 this month when it feels like i turned 30 just a handful of months ago
so idk how i feel about that
i just feel physically sick rn. i should be sleeping but my sleep schedule is fucked up so i dont end up sleeping until like noon or 7am
#Just venting#just me stuff i need to get out#i dont need comfort this is just pure venting to destress a little
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im having executive dysfunction AND i didnt get my whole usual 12 hours of sleep cos my physical therapist was like Its Not Advisable to sleep that long sorry im ceanky. i slept during normal himan sleeping hours and all and i felt great when i first woke up but now im like if i dont go back to sleep NOW ill die but i cant i have to go to the library with my dad later. i did eat food this morning and ive been taking my meds at the right time and shit. maybe i should shower and ill feel betterp
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Mnh, hard time in the head rn.
Sorry I need to vent like a TV dinner but like. I don't really feel safe to lmao.
CW everything pm just heavy suicidal ideation
Just like I probably need to back off from all of the kink things. But like it gives me happiness, but also sadness.
Like no kink IRL i want to have a partner and a baby and a family. And my brain is a mess because it's like I can't do the single parent thing and I'm autistic and I'm just so fucking depressed.
I'm actively self harming in new and exciting ways! I'm purposefully binge eating like shit. I don't care anymore. i dont.
And it's so incredibly isolating as a nonbinary faggot. It turns out im an inch taller than I was led to believe and maybe its because my posture is better but like.
I wanted to be small and cute and i regularly am pissed at myself that i didn't commit to the anorexia and i didnt commit to exercising myself to the bone. I could have been tiny and valuable.
And i know that's fatphobia speaking but like i just.
There's no point in me losing weight because ive already got the stretch marks and there's no point in me trying to get the pcos thing figured out because at the end of the day i grow disgusting facial hair i hate and hair on my chest and i feel DISGUSTING.
I'm too demotivated to even try.
There's no point while I work the job and the hours I do.
And my psych still wants to take me off of my meds! I was stable! I was doing okay!
I shouldn't have a baby because the poor thing would have my genetics but i cant adopt as an autistic lil trans faggot esp bc i live in the US south.
I need to sleep but whatever I'm sad right now. I am tired of sleeping! I don't WANT to sleep.
And just like all of my friends disapprove of having children and like i get it they would only suffer and i am selfish but. Im hopeful for the future even though all signs say otherwise.
I saw a tweet like "older generations dont understand that we don't expect anything good to happen ever again" and like yeah. Yeah.
Im hopeful but not stupid.
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052723
weekends have always sucked i think. growing up it meant being stuck with the family all weekend, but i wasnt able to articulate that i hated it at the time. i wasnt aware enough to realize that i was so overstimulated and overwhelmed by them. im the youngest, and they all say im mature for my age, but it hasnt always been like that. when i was still too young to have a consistent idea of my role here i was the sensitive one. i was always being pushed to an outburst because someone was pushing my buttons and i didnt know how to tell them to stop and id just cry. and then its that patronizing older sibling consoling where they mostly just dont want mom to hear that im crying, or i move on from it but theres ‘jokes’ for the rest of the night about how sensitive i am. its funny that that turned into me being the one notorious for not crying ever and being less wildly emotional than everyone else. anyway.
then the weekends sucked because it was too hard to restrict during them. i didnt have the school structure and mom was home to cook more like big breakfasts or meals shed be too tired for in the week. then at college the weekends sucked because i was bored and had to confront the fact that i really need to learn how to reach out to people when i want company because waiting for when i am obligated to see them doesnt work anymore, but id feel annoying.
now weekends still suck. i think i sleep in harder here when everyones off work, my version of getting the early part of the day to myself since i cant actually get it. but it doesnt really work, i still feel shitty and overwhelmed when i wake up.
im realizing this post isnt super ed based. my point is its the weekend and it sucks.
my brother and i did arm exercises outside today. i really really tried to take it as the invitation to spend time together that it was and not the disordered shit it also was. then i hated myself because ive been doing arm workouts secretly already but it was him just starting out and i liked that i was less tired than him. stupid. stupid.
i also just weighed myself even though i ate like a couple hours ago, which i always mentally scold them for doing (right in front of me by the way, because of where the scale happens to be in the house - which does not make me feel great when i usually ate the same time they did and now i have to think about my weight).
also earlier i asked my mom to grab me some splenda packets while she was out for me. she started passively telling me i should use real sugar instead and not the stuff they test on rats. and heres the thing, shes like totally right and i know that, but i was so mad in that moment. she was talking to me the way she talked to my older siblings when shes trying to nudge them to check to calories on something or whatever, that tone ive always hated, but shes never used it on me before. maybe cuz im ‘the skinny one’ or dont talk to her about weight and dieting as much but either way, she never uses it on me. it also bugged me because splenda is one of those ‘safe’ habits from my eating disorder that i cant fully shake no matter how far i get in a recovery phase - theres a few of those. ill always use splenda, ill always use small utensils, ill always drink the diet versions of drinks, ill always take the stairs next to the escalators. just small ingrained things that i know logically are unhealthy but, you gotta pick your battles yknow. as long as im eating three meals a day and not going too crazy over that, i dont really give a fuck if i still use the splenda packets instead of real sugar yknow? but i dont know. it bugged me.
about a year ago i went off my meds without telling anyone. i know it was a big thing, but i kinda cant remember it right now. its weird how memory does that. i remember talking and thinking about it a lot and crying a lot, it was a whole event, when i got found out. but i dont know i cant really remember it right now, and it was only a year ago. im only kinda thinking about it cuz i have been off them for like what a day or two? only out of laziness and forgetfulness, but of course now that im here im at that stage where i feel the urge to never take them again and i dont have the sound mind to really even like,, think through the decision. which i think is what happened last time. i went off them by accident, realized it, thought ‘well wait, should i just keep going or take them again?’ and then didnt have the mental clarity to answer myself so i just kept not taking them until shit got bad.
okay, i do remember being asked why i went off them, i remember that. and i remember not really having an answer. i kinda went along with an only kinda true reason of ‘they made me feel weird’ or ‘they made me feel spaced out’ when it was probably more accurate to say ‘i just wanted to do something to feel in control again.’
maybe thats why i want to now. part of me is like, relapsing into an ed isnt even like special in this house, its not enough for me to do that.
another thing is that even though i know correlation doesnt equal causation or whatever, i am painfully aware of the fact that i havent really lost a lot of weight in that ed way since ive been on meds andddd i wanna relapse lol.
im running out of mental steam writing this, my brain is a bit foggy. so i should stop i think.
tomorrow theres a barbecue or something at my aunts house, i think ill ask my mom if i can stay home. ive never done that before but. shell say yes. and i desperately need to feel like i live alone for a moment. i need to mentally prepare for my summer class starting this week and i havent had the chance to yet. i also dont wanna have to eat food i didnt prepare around people who trigger me and who im constantly masking around. not an ideal scenario you feel me
ok.. talk later ig lol
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