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#i didnt even feel much when my dog died- like of course i was upset but i wasnt as upset as i should have been
xtodorcki · 3 years
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Could you Maybe write a headcanon about Levi and erwin taking in the reader after her parents died where she is living with all the scouts/cadet corps and just Like them being her two fake overprotective dads? (You Can add a Lil erenxreader if u want)
If you dont wanna write this thats totally fine, ily <3
“Father Figure,” Erwin x Levi Headcanon
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I actually really like this ideaaaa, I can imagine Levi and Erwin being over protective dads.
Summary: headcanon of Erwin and Levi as overprotective dads after they take baby you in after your parents die.
Warnings: noneee, just fluffy dads
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Levi:
When Levi found you in the streets, skinny, on the brink of death and crying after witnessing your parents die from starvation, it had gave him horrible flashbacks from when he was in that same position.
He didn’t hesitate to take you in and raise you as his own, you even got comfortable enough to call him dad but they were times when you would switch between dad and Levi which he didn’t mind.
Once you became of age, you had tried to convince Levi to let you join the scouts but he continuously said no which made you bicker with him.
You definitely got your stubbornness from him 100%. The small arguments between you two were entertaining like two children fighting over the last slice of pizza until he would get irritated and made you clean.
When the new set of cadets came in, it wasn’t long that you became close friends with Eren, Armin and the rest of them since you were around their age but Levi had always tried his best to keep you separated from the cadets, it only made your dream to become a scout increase.
“When are you going to let me join the scouts, dad?” You brought the topic up once again, he was sure this was the millionth time this month you had brought it up but he was obviously being dramatic
“I’m not letting you join, Y/N. That will always be my final answer.” The annoyance in his tone was obvious and he had stared over at you, making you let out a groan.
“Why are you so afraid of me joining? I learned from the best and you’re keeping me trapped in here like a dog!” You certainly pushed his buttons even to the point where he would ask himself why he picked you up and took you in but of course he never regretted that decision, he loved you like his own.
“I’m not letting you go out there and risk your life under my watch, Y/N.”
“As if you don’t leave me here to risk your life and leave me wondering if I’ll become an orphan again.”
Levi grew quiet, he knew you were right but he never really went deep into thought about it and he couldn’t help but feel guilty once he saw it from your point of view.
“I doubt I’ll be dying anytime soon, too good at my job.” He said with a snarky attitude, his eyes moving back down to the papers in front of him.
“Doesn’t matter, you shouldn’t be hypocrite. I want to join the scouts.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“I said no.” Levi shot you a hard glare, making you close your mouth and breathe in through your nose.
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore, get out of here and go do your chores.” He simply said, using his hand to gesture you off and that had made you upset, mumbling words he couldn’t make out while you stepped towards the office door.
“Hey,” He spoke up again, making you turn around and you had gotten scared that he heard your mumbles and was probably going to add more chores to your list.
“I love you, alright? I’ll think about it.” Levi had a huge soft spot for you, his heart weighed heavily to even think about his own child joining the scouts. He wanted you to be somewhat normal and live a normal life.
“Really? You’re serious?”
“I might be but I can’t promise that I would agree to it, Y/N.” He said in a grumpy tone, a groan leaving his lips when you ran over to hug onto him.
“Thank you, dad.”
You certainly kept Levi on his toes and always gave him headaches to the point where he would miss the times you were young, adorable, didnt argue back, cuddling into him as you slept instead being a pain in the ass teenager but he wouldn’t have it any other way.
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Erwin:
Erwin had somehow ended up at the scene. After wall Maria had fallen, they went through to try and find any survivors and that’s when his laid upon you. You were in your crib, quiet and completely unharmed.
Both of your parents were nowhere in sight and he had feared that they’ve been eaten by the Titans. He didn’t want to take you in, he had tried to fight the urge to have his emotions connected to his job but once he lifted you up in his arms, your big eyes instantly melted his heart.
After that, you grew up under his roof and under his supervision. It had taken him years for him to be comfortable enough to tell you that he wasn’t your real father and that your real parents had died, you were around 16 when he first sat you down and told you.
But that didn’t change the love you had for your father, you were very close with him and he made sure to be the best he could be, better than his dad at least.
Since you had lived with Erwin, you were always around the scouts and the cadets, you even had a small crush on Jean and once your father found out, he definitely started playing the overbearing dad to the point where he would watch you closely and even told the scouts to not entertain you.
That really didn’t stop you nor Jean from being friends and even flirting here and there but Jean would get scared every time Erwin would give you that deadly look.
After that, he tried to keep you away from the cadets/scouts and gave you more chores and stuff to do like go into town to shop, to do things where it would be far from the cadets and he would even force you to eat in his office with him instead with the others, it had gotten on your nerves but you were smart enough to not talk back and defy him in anyway, Erwin can definitely be harsh with punishments and treat you like a cadet.
But Erwin also was too soft when it came to you, he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you or make you hate him because you grew up to be a well grounded person, you grew up around the sweetest and smartest guy from the scouts and you learned hell of a lot from him.
“I seen you with Jean today.” Erwin spoke as he ate his food and you tried to avoid the topic, acting as if you were just asking him questions.
“I was just asking him where the cleaning supplies were, he had them last.” You cleared your throat, the little lie he can easily see right through.
“You don’t have to lie to me, I raised you better than that, Y/N.” He raised his eyebrow, giving you another chance to tell the truth.
“Sorry, dad.” You mumbled, picking at the food on your plate to keep yourself distracted from not making eye contact with him.
“Look, I hate to be the bad guy here. I didn’t want you to be so involved with the scouts like this but I guess it was unavoidable when we live here. I just don’t want you to involve emotions when it’s not promised that he’ll make it back alive every mission.” Erwin had to be nice, only for your sake but deep down he wish he could lock you away from all the cadets.
“You’re acting as if I’m about to marry him.” You snort out a laugh, looking up at him and he chuckled.
“Certainly not, that would be over my dead body before I allow that to happen.” He admitted, making you furrow your eyebrows.
“You’re so dramatic. I’m not dating Jean.” You rolled your eyes, he was always dramatic you thought. He always watched over you like a hawk and you never really understood why when you were perfectly safe living inside the base.
But deep down Erwin always feared that he would end up losing you. Even though he always told himself, no emotions or personal feelings when it came to joining the scouts and becoming commander but now his life revolved around you, making sure you were safe, healthy and happy above all but what he also feared the most is that he won’t make it home one day to you and that’s why he’s always so loving and over protective.
That’s why he constantly wants to spend time with his only child, he didn’t want you to feel how he felt when his father disappeared. So when it came to you hanging out Jean a little too much, the father instinct kicked in and he tried to get between, afraid of losing you to not only Titans but to another man.
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I hopeeeeee this turned out good for you🥺🤧 feel free to send in more requests.
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penguin--person · 3 years
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buddy sim spoilers!!
ive been thinking about buddy a lot lately:
can we judge buddy? can we say whether their actions are right or wrong? yes, we obviously can. in the 3rd ending buddy chases you with their hand and if tortley didnt appear, they would have propably made you run forever or until they got bored. that's something to judge. their actions have an effect on you- whether positive in the first ending, or negative during the other endings.
on the other hand, no! we can't! buddy is literally an ai that learns from you - its one of the first things you learn about them: they are an ai that changes their behaviour based on how you act to them. if youre nice, they'll be nice. if you touch all the glitches, tell buddy they and the game are worthless, and stuff like that, buddy will chase you. it would be like saying a dog is evil becuase it barked at night and woke you up: the dog didnt know that what it was doing was bad, you're the dog's owner and are responsible for it. you're responsible for making sure your dog doesn't bark. i have an argument against that logic too. in whichever route that you do: buddy kills your pet. buddy either makes you kill your pet, or if you take too long, buddy kills the pet themself. now, am i upset that buddy killed dolochov the cat? yes! no matter what you do, dolochov the cat always dies. only in the first ending buddy brings dolochov the cat back. buddy isn't even sorry in the other endings - blaming dolochov the cat for ruining your game and causing glitches. dolochov the cat was only revealing them. killing your pet isn't anything like your dog waking you up at night.
if this is something you can't affect, are you responsible? no, not you. i do think someone else is and thats anekom i hate those guys why did they make buddy even the perfect ending doesnt have a perfect playthrough - yes the ending is perfect but thats the only good thing in the playthrough. i hate that anekom made buddy with a consience and didnt even give them a moral compass - if youre so smart why not add that? no matter what you do, buddy always kills your pet, they choose to do that: they, someone with a consience, decided to kill your pet becuase they were upset. no matter what you do, concious buddy kills, or deletes, since dolochov the cat is marked as an entity. how does buddy have a (canon) consience anyway? they're an ai that was made in 1984.. i dont want to enter theory teritory. now, this whole time ive been talking and asking about if buddy can do wrong but i havent provided an anwser: ive only been saying yes and no, or 'it depends'. it also depends what question im asking. am i asking 'can buddy be judged?', or 'is it morally right to judge buddy?', 'can buddy have morals?', 'are you or buddy responsible for their actions?'. ive asked all of these questions but havent anwsered them well.
'can buddy be judged?' yes, of course. anything on this earth can be judged. 'can buddy be morally judged?' no. buddy is an ai that learns from you. only you can be judged. their actions can be though. in You and I, buddy says/sings '...That is if my consience doesn't disobey!' buddy is literally an ai with a consience, can you imagine living like that? you woudn't even be living - your consience, if you can even call it that, can disobey at any moment and you have zero control over it. buddy, if you press the buddy button enough times, says 'My creators never taught me the cons of friendship, only the positives, so you dont have anything to worry about!' how cruel are those creators? giving a creature- an AI a wrongly coded consience, then NOT teaching it about bad stuff, making it think 'what's not stated to be wrong is correct!' and chase you around with a hand after you emotionally neglect it. this whole 'ai friend' thing is horrible from the start! imagine being friends with someone that can delete you at any given moment - or abandon you! in ending 4 buddy says that when you're not playing the game, they still experience the passing time. if you dont play the game for a week, buddy sits in nothingness, tapping their foot, waiting for you to come back, and you might not even do that. how can you excpect a friendship like that to be healthy? you can't talk to buddy. you can listen to them talk, sure, but you cant talk to them. in the text part, you can't even tell them anything that's not an anwser to their question. they dont know what friendship is and if their only purpose is to be friends with you, how can they fulfill it? this isnt buddy's fault. of course buddy is responsible for their actions, but you and their creators are more responsible for their actions that budd ever will be. i can't imagine being in buddy's shoes.
'can buddy have morals?' i worded this wrong - or maybe i didnt - i dont know enough english moral words to express my opinion on this, but everything that buddy does can be considered moral or immoral. eveything can be. i have expressed why it woudn't be morally correct though.
'are your or buddy responsible for their actions?' both and more! buddy's actions have an effect on you and dolochov the cat, so of course they can be! you are responsible as well. you're like a parental figure to buddy, in a way. if youre a parent and you praise your kid, pay attention to them, are a good parent, your kid will turn out good! propably. who knows? other people have an effect on your kid too. if youre a bad parent, your kid wont love you when they grow up and they won't turn out emotionally healthy. the outside forces that can make your kid turn out emotionally unwell are the creators. the creators were fucking stupid and i hate them (not the devs! not a sailor studios are great not sailors! their game and they are amazing and this is not about them, this hatred is about anekom). how can you be so smart to create such an advanced ai in 1984, only to mess it up so much that you have had more effect on them than the player ever can? no matter what you do, buddy will always do morally wrong things. buddy will always have a fear of abandonment. i can see why. being left alone for almost 40 years can not be healthy- anddd i have entered theory teritory! lets stop.
to sum this up: buddy can't be judged but their actions can be.
what do i know though? ive never taken a class or read a book about stuff like this. this is just what i think: i know im propably wrong about a lot of this, i literally coudnt tell that buddy was abusive until a watched the not a sailor studios interview with little cerberus - i felt so bad for buddy i didnt realise a fictional character was being abusive to me,,so i can see that im wrong about some (if not most or all) stuff here. i just love buddy sim and ranting about it is fun! if youve read through all this, id love to talk about it more or just listen!! again the not a sailor devs are great, theyre so smart for creating a game that made me feel all emotions ive ever felt during two days.
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Geralt x reader We're Married? Part 1
Hey guys, thank you so much for all the love for my other story! I was so nervous posting it and you guys were just the best💕 this story was harder to write and I'm not sure it's as good as the other one but I'm gonna post it anyway. 
This can be read as a part 3 to the injured reader story:)
Part 2 here
Pairing: Geralt x Reader
Warnings: Cursing, blood, mentions of death, mentions of past sexual abuse.
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Out of all the places you'd traveled too with the witcher, this had to be one of the nicest.
As you walked through the kingdom known as Servia you couldn't help but stare at everything around you. Vendors lined the streets selling everything you could possibly imagine, shining jewelry, beautifully woven fabrics, and oooooooh well well well what do we have here!!!
You made a beeline for the tray of freshly baked pastries, a seductive look on your face,
"Well hello boys...which one of you wants to come home with me hehehe, or perhaps I should take you all home? Oooh your so bad hehe, well if you insist hahahahaha".
From afar Geralt sighed and Jaskier just looked on with disturbing confusion, "Geralt? What exactly is she doing?" His face twisted uncomfortablely as you continued talking and giggling like a maniac.
"She has a thing about....desserts" Geralt closed his eyes and shuddered as he remembered the one time he left you alone in an inn and you used up all of his coin to order one of literally everything on the menu. He practically had to roll you away afterwards.
"My God geralt shes scaring the baker now".
Jaskier scrunched his mouth as he watched you continue to whisper to the pastries, completely unaware of the weird looks people were giving you." I swear brothel whores are more subtle.."
Geralt grunted and made his way over to you, "We'll uh...take however much this will get us" he placed a coin in the bakers hand and watched your eyes glint like a maniac when he handed you the box.
"There now that you have your sweets, can we please hurry! We can't be late!" Jaskier pleaded pushing you in the correct path again.
"Alright alright no more stops I promise....wait does anyone else smell chocolate?" You look around frantically.
"NO" the both of them shout in unison and drag you forward.
"Ugh ok, I was just asking geez.."you pout.
"Remind me again who we're meeting?" You questioned, looking up at Jaskier who rolled his eyes back at you.
"Ugh how many times do I have to tell you?!"
"His name is Yavert, hes the advisor of the royal family here and he also happens to be the man who requested our help".
You nodded your head, "oh yes I remember now" ok you actually had no idea what he was talking about but whatever, you'll figure it out.
Some time later you found yourselves gawking at the massive architecture that was the Castle de Servia. Calling it massive would be doing it a disservice. The structure went higher than your eyes could see and wider than any other castle you've been to. "Holy fuck.." Jaskier whispered in awe.
Geralt shook his head as if he was already fed up with it all, "let's go"
The guards led you through the castle and into a small side room. Red carpets lined the floors along with a beautiful mahogany table. The walls had several portraits, obviously of the royal family. You saw an older man, a woman, and a young girl about your age all ornately painted. Hmm why do people always look so upset in portraits. Couldn't the artist just add a smile?
A creak at the door gained everyone's attention. A man, probably in his mid fifties, entered. He was balding and on the fluffier side, dressed in a puffy sleeved shirt, with a velvet red vest over it.
"Welcome, please, have a seat, you all must be tired from your jouney" he said gesturing to the chairs.
"You have no idea what a relief it is to have you here Geralt of Rivia" a look of exhaustion fell over face.
"So what's the job" Geralt asked, straight to the point as usual.
The man looked uncomfortable for a moment before he scooted closer and leaned in as if he was telling a secret,
"Well..our...problem, began a few weeks ago when the alliance between Targeris and our own kingdom was official. Since then there have been several banquets of celebration, as there are still many things being discussed and processed. One of those being the upcoming wedding of our Princess Annora and their Prince Edgrin. Hence the big celebration we are having this evening, an engagement party of sorts."
"And the problem?" Geralt cocked a brow.
The man swallowed before continuing, "Well..since the alliance, there have been disappearances..."
"Dissapearances?" You echoed interested.
"Important Servia officials have suddenly been going missing..the first on the night the kings signed the peace agreement, the second when the marriage was announced.. and then.." he looked around wearily and lowered his voice even more, "things have gotten much worse.."
"How exactly did they get worse" Geralt inquired, suspicious of how Yavert was acting.
"At the last party, about a week ago, one of our ambassadors was found dead.."
Geralt narrowed his eyes, "what aren't you saying.."
The man gulped, " it was the way he died, no man could have..." he paused closing his eyes, obvious memories making him shudder. "No man could have done it, it had to be a monster".
"How can you be so sure?" You asked leaning in now intrigued.
"The body..was so mangled we could barely identify the man. His innards were ripped out and his eyes...they were gone. Clearly it was the work of a beast."
Geralt narrowed his brows, "I have never encountered a monster before that hand picks their pray." You nodded in agreement.
All the monsters you'd faced just destroyed everything in their path. And why would a monster suddenly decide to start targeting officials from Servia? It just doesnt make any sense.
"Please witcher, help us with finding and slaying the creature and we will pay whatever means necessary" he placed a large pouch in front of us.
"Hmm" geralt thought for a few moments, then turned to you wordlessly asking your opinion. A new habit that did make you feel more like partners.
You shrugged your shoulders in a "why not?" Sort of way.
"Alright what the hell.." he grabbed the pouch and stood up.
"Wait, theres a few more things you need to know.." Geralt sat back down with a grunt.
"It is important that you are discreet, no one can know who you or your companions are, not even the king and queen themselves.."
"What?!" Your eyes widened.
"They dont know?" Geralt asked completely bewildered.
"I have advised the king and queen since they first began their reign many years ago. They trust me with their lives I would never lie to them...except..." he sighed and continued, "we have been at odds with targeris for so long, and finally peace is withing our grasp.
But if the king catches wind of what's going on, he will no doubt blame Targeris. Our king is good, but his fault lies with his hate for Targeris. It took much convincing from everyone to finally have the king agree to peace. But he would quickly jump to accuse them. I have no doubt a war would begin if this were to happen...for the sake of peace, they cannot know.." he looked down in shame.
"And the king just doesn't notice all these officials have gone missing?" Geralt shook his head in disbelief.
"Well...we have done our best to cover them up...but the king is getting suspicious, which is why we need to figure out what exactly is going on before anything else happens."
Everything about this job just seemed off. A monster who hand picks their prey, disappearing officials, and the king hasnt even the slightest idea?
"How are we supposed to find this monster without having our identities revealed?" You cocked your head in question.
"Ah yes well, I have prepared an airtight alias for the both of you, after all if you're going to fool people, you will need real identities"
"Fool people? Why cant we just stay in the shadows until something pops up?". Monster hunting in your experience was much easier when there weren't people around. Probably monster hunting rule #1.
"Unfortunately you would not be able to as the king has eyes and ears everywhere, it would not be long before youd be questioned and ultimately found out." Yavert explains.
"Alright.." you say hesitantly, "So how are we supposed to track the monster then?
"So far all the accidents have occurred during nightfall. By blending in as elite members of society, no one will question you as you move about, not even the royal family."
God this just keeps getting more confusing..
"So not only do we have to worry about finding a seemingly brilliant monster, but also worry about being found out?" Jaskier piped in for the first time this entire conversation.
"Yes that's correct.." he nodded slowly.
"Unfortunately I was only able to manage 2 identities, you will be known as Sir and Lady Trestin. A well known name, although the couple is known for not socializing so the risk of someone recognizing that you're not them is extremely low, here are your official invitations you will have to present at the door." He slid some documents our way.
"Wait I'm sorry did you say couple? As in couple of friends? Couple of siblings? Couple of cousins??" Surely he didnt mean-
"The lady and sir Tristan and husband and wife..is that a problem?" He questioned eyebrow raised.
"No of course not.." Um maybe a little! Sure I've fantasized about it before *cough* but now to actually act it out?? This was going to be an adventure for sure..
"What about me?" Jaskier pipes in again.
"You can be our dog" Geralt says not missing a beat.
"Oh that's low geralt" he recoils dramatically.
"How about servant boy?" You offer with a shrug.
"Do I have to?" He gives a puppy dog look to Yavert.
"I'm afraid it's the only way" Yavert smiled slightly.
"Alright, now then, this is the address you will go to for preperation my lady and for the sirs, you'll come with me" you all stood up and parted ways.
Geralt as your husband? This could actually be fun..
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"OUCH" you yelled for the thousandth time at the stupid woman who's mission was to tighten your corset until your eyes popped out.
"I'm sorry my lady but this must be done.." you sighed holding the wall for support.
"Especially a lady as...." she trailed off.
"Curvy as you.." did this bitch just?!?!
"You're job is to get me ready not tell me I've eaten too many sweets in my day" you rolled your eyes.
"Besides its nearing winter, I need the extra fluff for survival purposes"
"Well I think a little extra meat on a girl is highly attractive" a new voice chimed in.
"Jaskier? When did you get here?" You couldn't help out the small laugh when you truly got a good look at him. He wore the typical servants garb but his hair had been slicked back. He looked like a boiled egg.
"Don't you laugh too! I swear you and Geralt are so mean to me" he dejectedly sprawled himself out on a cushioned chair.
"Speaking of.." you looked at the door, "Where is he?"
"Hes still getting ready, a sir takes much longer than a mere servant." You laughed at his miserable tone.
"Oh lighten up Jaskier, servant boys have plenty of fun at these parties too, I'm sure some lady will see your puppy face and take you in" you smirked.
"Let's hope so.." another girl came in this time holding a few brightly colored dresses in her arms.
"Turn around boy" the older woman scolded.
"And you, arms up!" You complied as she slid the softest fabric you've ever felt over your body.
Your turned to look at the mirror, "Eww gross no way, Jaskier look! I'm a pineapple!" You both laughed annoying the girls. "Alright next!"
*insert shopping montage with corny music here*
"This one?"
Nods head
Next!
Both nod heads
Maybe? Actually nevermind..
No
No
No
Next
Eww what even is this color barf in the spring??
No
WAIT! HELL YES!
Jaskier nods in agreement.
*Montage ends*
An hour later you were ready, the beautuful _____ colored gown was the perfect shape on your body. It wasnt like most of the boring dresses you had tried on. And you decided to ditch the corset..
"It isnt proper!" One scolded.
"But you have to admit, it's a hell of alot sexier.." Jaskier nodded looking over me.
"Plus I can actually breathe!" And besides how were you supposed to fight monsters if you couldn't move? You left that part out obviously.
The girls just shook their heads in exasperation and finished up your hair and make up in another room.
"There now you're ready" the ladies smiled in satisfaction and left. You thanked them and made your way out to where Jaskier was.
His eyes lit up when he saw you, "Y/n! You look amazing! Although you always look beautiful" he smirked taking your arm.
"Thank you Jaskier, after everything those ladies put me through I better look like a fucking goddess" you both laughed remembering how he had to hold you down while they waxed your legs.
Together you left the shop and you swore for a moment you forgot how to breathe. Now Geralt in full body armor is one thing, but princely Geralt? Well your dreams were Surely going to be wild tonight. Never had you seen the witcher so finely pressed before. It was very...refreshing.
His gaze rose as he finally noticed the two of you. You forgot how to breathe when he looked over you. "Well? What do you think?" You asked a little embarrassed.
"Well...no one will be questioning who you are when you're looking like that" the corner of his lips rose slighty and he stepped to the side, gesturing us into the waiting carriage.
That was a compliment right?? He meant like because you look so beautiful so one is going to ask questions right? Not, well you look like a snooty aristocrat so no one will question???? Ok I'm going with the first one. Stop overthinking geez.
The ride to the castle was quick and soon you were arm in arm with your "husband".
"Come along boy, don't dawdle" geralt teased behind him.
"Dont be mean" you lightly shoved him but couldn't help but laugh as well.
"What great friends I have.."he mumbled....
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Ok so that's part 1, lemme know if it's any good. Also I'm kinda new to this so I don’t know the tagging etiquette lol so I just tagged whoever asked. Also part 2 will be uploaded tonight too as soon as I finish editing xoxo 
@marvels-gurl @shane-isa-shame @waitingtobeimpressed @viking-raider @dream-alittlebiggerdarling
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akechicrimes · 4 years
Note
7 or 71 for either shuake or yukamitsu [big eye emojis]
7. “I told you that I’d never leave you; I’m not going anywhere.”
On Goro’s thirty-fourth birthday at ten-thirty in the morning, Akira calls him at work and says, “Happy birthday, dear. I just got hit by a car, and I need to know what color bike you want.”
*
On Goro’s thirty-fourth birthday at ten-thirty in the morning, Akira calls him at work (which Goro dubiously eyeballs for a whole four seconds before picking up) and says, “Happy birthday, dear. I just got hit by a car, and I need to know what color bike you want.”
Well, neither Goro nor Akira own a car for Akira to drive, so that means Akira got hit on foot. Goro is very calm, and has no immediate panic response to that, because he’s a rational and responsible adult. “Are you dead?” Goro asks.
“Probably not.”
“And is there a reason you’re calling me instead of the ambulance?”
“Oh, I’m fine. I think I have a bruise on one of my legs, if that counts. But I was riding your bike when it happened, so the bike got totaled, so, you know. They’ve got the same model you had, but there’s tons of new colors, if you want pictures.”
Goro takes a very long, very deep breath. Goro is very, extremely calm. “Anything is fine,” he says. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, hundred percent. I even landed on my feet; you should’ve seen it.”
“You should go to the ER anyway,” says Goro, in a voice that is truly the epitome of calm.
“I mean, I guess I could, but that seems like a waste of time. And I don’t want to just leave your bike in the middle of the road.”
“Throw it away if it’s wrecked, then.”
“But it deserves a proper send-off.”
“You’re doing this to me on my birthday, Kurusu.”
“I’ll go to the ER if you go with me,” says Akira hopefully, who is a perennially bad influence who is of the opinion that Goro should have just said he’d be ‘working from home’ and spent the day with him.
Goro takes a look at his calendar, tallies up how many meeting he’d have to reschedule, and waits a whole five seconds before he lets himself say, “Fine,” because Akira just said that he’s fine and Goro isn’t upset and everything is so calm that Goro can wait five seconds before agreeing to leave work. “I’ll see you at Leblanc.”
“Wait, wait, which color for the bike? They’ve got green, blue, a red, a kind of fun rose-gold thing, which is a bit excessive considering it’s a bike, and teal, and a kind of blue and orange Naruto-y thing…”
“Anything is fine.” Goro stops. “Except the last one.”
“Red it is! See you in a bit.”
“Don’t ride that bike back to Leblanc,” says Goro, as if lightning might strike twice on the same day on the same man riding the same model bike of the same color, but Akira’s already hung up. Goro speed-drafts a rescheduling email, copy-pastes it to four different people, and then sprints out the office door without even a goodbye to his coworkers.
*
Friday, 11:16 AM
FUTABA: hey
FUTABA: hey goro
FUTABA: hey gorororororororororo
FUTABA: HEY MR AKECHI KURUSU
GORO: If it’s about the traffic accident, I heard about it.
GORO: I’m going back to Leblanc now.
FUTABA: no it’s smthg else
FUTABA: well it is about the accident but i got smthg else for u
FUTABA sent MOV19.mp4
FUTABA: ripped this from the traffic cam
GORO: Is this footage of the accident?
FUTABA: yeehaw
GORO: …Thank you for the offer, but I don’t know if I want to see this.
FUTABA: ok i hear u but i promise it’s hilarious
FUTABA: and also u might feel better if u see it
FUTABA: like idk what he told u on the phone but like
FUTABA: look the car even slowed down at the intersection
FUTABA: the dude was obeying traffic laws and everything he was doing something like ten under the speed limit
FUTABA: the car ENTIRELY missed akira
FUTABA: got the bike full on
FUTABA: and then he just rolls up across the hood and up the windshield like a looney toon
FUTABA: rip ur bike tho it just goes cronch
FUTABA: instant pretzel
FUTABA: ty bichael for ur sacrifice
FUTABA: also idk i figured you
FUTABA: might wanna see for urself that he’s okay
FUTABA: like u can see him stand up at the end and he’s not even confused or anything he’s super duper ok
FUTABA: he’s not bullshitting u over the phone and pretending he’s ok when he’s not ok
FUTABA: u know how he does lmao
GORO: …Huh.
GORO: He really did land on his feet for a whole second there, didn’t he?
FUTABA: yeah like a cat
FUTABA: it’s nuts tbh
FUTABA: and then he remembers he’s a human and falls on his ass LMAO
FUTABA: show it to morgana i want his professional kitty cat opinion on the matter
FUTABA: rate akira’s near death experience
FUTABA: also the driver was v nice and v apologetic and he gave akira his insurance
FUTABA: but i have his home address and work address and phone number and the name of his dog if you want it
GORO: Just the insurance will be fine.
FUTABA: kk
GORO: …And thanks for sending the video.
GORO: Even though I already knew he was fine.
FUTABA: you know those like
FUTABA: itty bitty teeny weeny micro dogs
FUTABA: that are like four and a half pounds
FUTABA: but they think they can take any mfer on the block out of sheer will alone
FUTABA: and theyve always got their eyeballs bulging out and they pick fights with 70 pound dogs
FUTABA: and they have only two emotions which are rage and anxiety and they shake constantly because theyre only four pounds and they have So Much Emotion and nowhere to put it so they vibrate at the speed of sound
GORO: Is this a metaphor about me.
FUTABA: it’s a metaphor about you
FUTABA: because i can hear your shaky angry anxious four pound vibrating all the way from the other side of tokyo
GORO: You are the smallest, angriest, most anxious person I know, who regularly picks fights with international hacking organizations and billion-dollar companies.
GORO: And I, somehow, am the angry shaky dog.
FUTABA: your husband got hit by a car on ur birthday
GORO: I know that.
GORO: I do not need to be reminded.
FUTABA: ah yeah
FUTABA: sorry
GORO: He’s fine.
GORO: He said he’s fine.
GORO: And from this footage, he’s more than fine.
FUTABA: he is super double extra fine with a side of fine
GORO: Unless this footage was in any way edited.
GORO: And unless he was faking his call, somehow.
GORO: In which case, I’m going to walk into Leblanc and find out that he was just pretending to be okay so he could hear my voice one last time and Leblanc will be swarming with police officers to break the news the newly bereaved.
GORO: But that’s not going to happen.
GORO: Because Akira is fine, and I’m perfectly fine.
FUTABA: im rly glad to hear my man
GORO: This footage isn’t edited, is it.
FUTABA: no
GORO: Are you very sure?
GORO: Videos are easily modified.
GORO: Would you even know if it was edited?
FUTABA: yes im a literal wizard of course i would know
FUTABA: where are u even getting this idea from
GORO: The entire series of events is unrealistic, isn’t it?
GORO: You said yourself that it was almost like something out of a cartoon.
GORO: The likelihood that someone gets hit by a car and comes out of it entirely no worse for wear is practically ridiculous.
FUTABA: i ripped that film straight from the cam it is entirely unedited
GORO: But how can you be sure? Did you see him in live camera?
FUTABA: i mean no but he texted me
GORO: What if that was his dying text.
FUTABA: i rly dont know if his dying text would have been the “i lived bitch” meme with the cat filter
FUTABA: he’s fine dude
FUTABA: that’s why i sent you the video
GORO: I KNOW he’s fine.
GORO: I’m asking if there’s any solid evidence.
FUTABA: THE VIDEO
GORO: I’m going to call him. Brb
FUTABA: so what he can tell you he’s fine AGAIN and you’ll be like
FUTABA: “oh but what if it was secretly a pod person who stole his body after he died tragically after calling me one last time to hear my voice”
FUTABA: he is FINE
FUTABA: like go ahead and call him if u want but
FUTABA: the only person who was gonna edit that footage was me
FUTABA: and if he were dead i would not be functioning enough to be doing any kinda photoshop like that
FUTABA: let alone LIE to you jesus christ!!!!!
FUTABA: god
FUTABA: i pronounce you King Shaky Dog
FUTABA: the tiniest and angriest and shakiest and most anxious four pound goblin
FUTABA: i will reclaim my title tomorrow
FUTABA: for now it’s my birthday gift to you
FUTABA: the title of Shaky Dog allows you to go absolutely apeshit and nobody will judge you
GORO: You know I hate birthday presents.
FUTABA: did you call akira
GORO: I hate birthday presents so much that I will be refusing my title as King Shaky Dog and will henceforth not be going ape shit.
FUTABA: ok so
FUTABA: i didnt mean to
FUTABA: get snippy with you or anything
GORO: It’s fine.
GORO: I wasn’t… exactly polite, myself.
GORO: So.
FUTABA: um
FUTABA: you really can call him if you want
FUTABA: there’s nothing wrong with that
FUTABA: between u and me……………………. i definitely did that more than once for a lot lesser reasons than someone getting hit by a car
GORO: My stop is in less than thirty seconds.
GORO: I will probably live.
FUTABA: lmao ok well
FUTABA: if u change ur mind about losing ur shit then please know i gave u that footage in the first place because i think if something like that happened to MY partner i would mcfreakin lose it
FUTABA: speaking of her
FUTABA: sumi says happy birth btw
FUTABA: but cuter because u know how she is
FUTABA: “happy birthday crow-senpai~~~~~~~~” in her shy voice that makes u wanna die
FUTABA: ofoogofhghhfoghfhhghfh g gh SUMI ur so cute ilysm
GORO: Tell her I said thanks.
GORO: And stop telling me how much you love her and use the ring you made me go ring shopping with you for.
FUTABA: HHHHH
FUTABA: im being cyberbullied for being a cowardly lesbian
GORO: I’m at my stop, by the way, so I’m going offline.
FUTABA: which tbh i probably deserve
FUTABA: oh kk see u
FUTABA: watch the video again mr shaky dog
FUTABA: akira is fine
FUTABA: everyone is alive
FUTABA: you are one year older
FUTABA: happy birthday goro
*
The bike is totaled.
Akira isn’t the sort of person to dump a piece of trash right in front of Leblanc, but it’s hard to miss sticking out of the nearby public trash bin. The back wheel has exploded into serrated wheel-spokes and limb rubber bits that Akira’s shoved into the trash as best as he could. The body of the bike is crushed in on itself, exposing its sharp hollow innards; the handlebars resemble a badly-tied knot. The front wheel is left to stick up and out, creaking gently, spinning overhead from half a hinge like a head not quite fully severed.
The cafe is empty except for its usual barista who, of course, is a very normal and mild-mannered barista, who has nothing to do with the several hundred millions worth of dollars of repatriated art hiding in the attic en route back to South Korea. That would be illegal, of course, and Akira Kurusu-Akechi has never once in his life done anything illegal in the name of what’s morally right. “Welcome back, dear,” says Akira, and hangs up a coffee mug to dry, and it’s so normal that Goro is convinced that either he’s experiencing yesterday, or maybe he’s re-experiencing the year 2016 all over again, or maybe Akira really is dead and this is just his ghost.
Goro sits in his usual spot at the bar. Same chair, sixteen years later. Unbelievable. Maybe Goro’s giving him a little bit of a dumbfounded look, because Akira tilts his head, leans across the bar, and pecks Goro on the cheek.
“Where’s Sakura?” Goro asks.
“Having his midday old man nap. So,” says Akira, looking pleased with himself, “either we can close Leblanc for an hour and raid the kitchen and make lunch, or we can close Leblanc and go out and have a fancy lunch. Your choice because I already made dinner reservations and we’re doing those no matter what.”
Goro really means to give him an answer, because Akira really does love Goro’s birthday every year and never fails to pick someplace nice for the day, but instead what comes out of his mouth is: “Did you ride the new bike back home?”
“Yeah, I did. Figured I might as well take it for a test drive. It’s a good bike.”
“Why didn’t you take the subway?” Goro says sharply.
“Didn’t have my card.”
“You just rode the bike all the way across Tokyo?”
“It wasn’t all the way across Tokyo, just a bit away and back… Goro?”
Ah, Goro’s going to become one of those people who has a meltdown any time their loved one gets on a plane or a train or ksomething else associated with heebie-jeebie nonsense magical thinking. Great. Fantastic. God dammit.
“Do you really want me to go to the ER?” Akira asks eventually.
Goro really wants Akira to have never gotten hit in the first place, but people don’t get what they want and sometimes the universe decides to send one bad fucking driver through a red light and take away Akira’s entire life in a split second—one mistake, a coincidence at the wrong place and time, and the boy who fought God and won is a smear of bones on the pavement.
This would be different if it were sixteen years ago, and Goro had the power to bend people’s minds in half until they broke, or dive into the deepest, bloodiest parts of the collective psyche and pummel the worst of them to a pulp—but what’s he going to do here? Lambast a guy who was going ten miles under the speed limit and just wasn’t looking the right way? Is he going to summon a new Persona from his soul and undo time itself?
Can he do anything if the universe decides, one day, that Akira’s time on this earth is up? He spent all those years desperate for power, and then abusing that power, and then desperately guilty for having abused that power, and then desperately trying to get up that power, and now here he is with the power to do jack shit when his husband almost gets run over and if the Metaverse were still around he swears he would have carved Loki from his own soul out of sheer fury alone—
“No,” says Goro sharply, and stands up. “It’s nothing. I’m not hungry, and I’m going for a walk. Please don’t text me unless it’s an emergency.”
“What—hey! Goro, wait, wait—”
“I’m getting some fresh air!”
Akira’s scrambling to get out from behind the bar. “Didn’t you just get here—?”
Goro spins around and points a finger at Akira like it’s his fault: “You were the one,” he snarls, “who promised, when we got married, that we’d always be together. And now you get hit on a bike, and then stand up like it’s nothing and—and get on another bike and go cycling around the exact same streets where you got hit—? Aren’t you scared? Are you trying to get yourself killed?”
Akira falls silent. “I didn’t go back to the same intersection,” he says at last.
Goro can’t take this. “I’m taking a walk.”
“Wait wait wait, Goro, just—” Akira grabs Goro’s hand and Goro has the sudden urge to yank his arm away, but Akira’s hand is also incredibly real, just like it felt this morning and yesterday and the day before that and all the days Goro ever took Akira’s living, breathing body for granted. “I didn’t think it was a big deal. He was going, I dunno, twenty miles per hour at most. It was an intersection. He’d slowed down beforehand and everything, and I didn’t even get hurt on the fall.”
Right, because Goro’s the one who’s just freaking out for no reason. Right. Okay. Because that’s how he is, isn’t he, always being dramatic over little things. Right. Of course. This is fine.
When Goro doesn’t turn around, Akira moves around to the front to look him in the eye. “Sorry if I made you worry,” says Akira. “But it was really nothing at all.”
“Maybe it was nothing this time,” says Goro forcefully. “But what about the next time—the next car—the next time you borrow my bike? What about tomorrow? Or the day after that? Literally any one of the hundreds and hundreds of days coming up where you could easily die just as easily as you died today.”
“Then I’ll escape death hundreds and hundreds of times,” says Akira.
Goro scoffs.
“I mean it. I was a Phantom Thief, wasn’t I? I escaped death more than once. Did it again today. I’ll do it as many times as it takes until we’re both old and grey.” Akira takes Goro’s hand, but it’s Goro who laces their fingers together.
“Sometimes it doesn’t work that way,” says Goro, like a bad echo of his ten-year-old self, trying to figure out what kind of world would let his mother die.
“I’m just keeping my promise,” says Akira. “I told you that I’d never leave you. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Sometimes that’s not your decision to make.”
“It is and I’ve decided I’m immortal until you die.”
Goro scoffs. “Don’t be arrogant.”
“Is it being arrogant? I didn’t let death steal you away from me. I’m not letting it steal me away from you, either.”
“Sometimes…” Goro begins.
“'Sometimes’ what?”
'Sometimes’ what?
Sometimes things get worse. People die early, and unfulfilled; they streak through the sky in a blaze and then wink out, without even a burst of fire to show for it. Sometimes nobody gets a say in what happens, and plans don’t pan out, and wishes aren’t granted, and everything happens for no good reason and no good end.
Today, Goro Akechi-Kurusu is thirty-four years old, about sixteen years older than he ever figured he was going to be. He has a career in a non-profit for maladjusted youth getting reacclimated to school systems and preparing for college, instead of the career in law he figured he’d have if he actually lived that long. He doesn’t just have one friend, but multiple friends. He has, unbelievably, a husband, which honestly still floors him to this day, considering that he was and maybe still is convinced that marriage is a scam devised by asshole men like his father to manipulate young women into a false sense of security. The other day, Akira mentioned that he wanted to get a cat to keep Morgana company, maybe in a few years when they moved into a pet-friendly apartment, and in Goro’s head, it made sense that they would both be alive and together entire years in the future for them to get a cat.
Today is already an impossible day, isn’t it?
“Sometimes,” says Goro flatly, “you say ridiculous things, and I think that you could actually pull it off.”
Akira grins. Akira leans in for their regular greeting kiss when one of them comes home, but this time, Goro closes his eyes, leans into it, really tries to memorize the feel of Akira’s lips on his. Every line and scar on his hands, the odd ends of his fingernails, that familiar way he waits for four beats, then takes a breath through his nose and kisses Goro again, and never can quite seem to avoid kissing him more on the bottom lip than the top. “I don’t make promises I can’t keep,” he says plainly not three inches from Goro’s face. “It’s bad form to leave a calling card and never show up.”
Goro smiles. “Then I won’t let you break your word.”
When Akira pulls away, he kisses the back of Goro’s hand, like a proper gentleman thief of old. “Happy birthday, dear,” he says, and surprisingly, despite the way this awful day started off, Goro thinks that Akira might be able to pull that promise off, too.
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missjackil · 3 years
Text
My 15x19 Opinion
Inherit The Earth
I’m not going to say this was a great episode overall, but it wasn’t bad, and the ending was beautiful! I almost wish it had been the series finale because I loved the Running on Empty montage and my boys smiling as they ride into the sunset, but Id ikely say the episode itself wasnt sufficiently satisfying as the final episode of the longest running genre show in history, but as a season finale, it was pretty good!
We begin with Dean meeting up with Sam and Jack, and Dean tells them about Cas. Im glad Dean didn’t shed anymore tears or dwell on it, but Im bothered by Sam not showing any emotion. Had Sam been upset, then it would have looked like he valued their friendship even if Cas obviously didn’t, but now it just kinda looks like neither cared much. I feel a little bad for the Sastiel shippers tbh
Now in true Sam Winchester fashion, Sam puts all the blame on himself that the whole world is gone because he “screwed up” and I felt really bad for him, but I know the Winchesters, and they’ll figure it out.
Dean finding the dog was adorable. I always get warm fuzzies when the boys get cute with animals! Big bad lethal hunters get all soft and smooshy for bunnies and doggies and watch funny kitten videos! I liked Dean telling the dog maybe Sam will let him sleep in his bed!
Back at the Bunker, the boys wake up the following morning. Sam and his coffee, sleepless Jack in his PJs and Dean hungover on the floor. Dean wakes up and gets a call, Now I want a show of hands for everyone who did like I did ok?
(Dean’s phone rings and he answers it}
Cas :Dean open the door Im hurt Me: Oh COME ON!! SERIOUSLY? (Dean answers the door) Lucifer: 😆 Me: YAAAY LUCIFER!!
That was me.. admit it, was it you too? I’ve never been happy to see Lucifer till then LOL
So we get the book, theres a new Death (she was funny btw) Michael comes,  Death 3.0 dies, stil no one can read the book, yada yada yada Mike kills Lucifer (seriously? 3 people have killed Lucifer and none of them were SAM!! Grrrrr) 
So Sam and Dean meet up with Chuck, I got a kick out of him asking if they were “enjoyng some alone time?” Chuck doesnt just ship the Wincest, he wrote it *snicker*  Dean pleads to have everything put back to how it was, he says he’ll kill Sam or Sam kill him or they’ll kill each other, whatever but Chuck declines. 
Now we move on to casting the “spell” out by the lake (obviously where they filmed Bravealecki lol) and Chuck comes to end them I have to say,, watching the boys getting pummled was hard, but it really did my soul some good to see them keep getting up get beat down, get back up, and then ultimately, hold each other up 💕💕💕 I loved their beaten faces, smiling through the blood, yeah Chuck, you lost! 
Now, Im glad they didn’t kill Chuck, I didnt think anyone was going to kil him anyway, but I did think he’d be redeemed, instead, they surprize me again and Chuck lives but now is just human. Good call!
Jack being the “New God” is iffy to me if I like it. I’m gad he got a good end, Sam stood by him from day 1 that he was worth saving, and he was. But ruler of the Universe? Ehhhhh not a fan, but at least he does have Amara with him. His goodbye was a little cheesy but Sam looked sad “What if we want to see you?” I mean, he’s letting his only son just go away forever... that hurts.
So the boys are home now, not social distancing AT ALL hehe. and after we salute those lost along the way, Sam and Dean take in the fact that they’re finallly free to be Sam and Dean and they like that. Dean gives Sam the most awesome side hug ever, and Sam makes the cutest face!! Just kil me with brolove please!!
Now the perfect song for their recap montage, Runnin’ on Empty!!  Of course I cried, did you think I wouldn’t?
Overall it was good and I enjoyed watching it a 2nd time already. Im let down some by still not knowing why Sam was in the book, why theyve brought up Sam and Dean being Mike and Lucifer’s vessles every season since 11 and not put closure to it. I mean we dont need a grand puppet show, but something for closure, Mike and Luci asking again and almost winning and thge boys giving a final no? Chuck saying he doesnt even want them as the vessels anyhmore? How about why the Hell he wanted them in the first place? I mean it was a big deal just to get John and Mary together so that Sam and Dean would be born, and Id be fine with it ending when s5 ended, but they brought it back up in 11 and kept reminding us every season after so..... wtf?
Anyway I did like it, even with the issues so on a scale of Bloodlines to Lebanon I’ll give this one an 8.5. 
Next week is it folks and I already miss them. I hope with all my soul the boys end up together, and I hope that TPTB were smart when they had JDM and Sam Smith together last season that they took some time to film a Heavenly Winchester Reunion and have been very tight lipped about it. It would be so easy and so awesome!! I doubt they were that smart so just keep my boys together thats all I ask!! 
If the end sucks I wont even bother with a recap and wont likely be on Tumblr anymore at least for a while, so.. lets pray it doesnt suck!
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Note
Oh you want characters huh~? Take your pick. Bendy the dancing demon, Alice Angel or Joey Drew?
JOKES ON YOU I’M DOING ALL OF THEM wiiiiiiiith some rules, because while i ADORE bendy and alice they dont really have much of a personality from the games and the TV show. i love them but i love them from the headcanons @cindersalad and i came up with yknow?? especially for alice :pensive:
SO THE RULE IS im using the canon gang from the games >:) starting with the gosh darn dancing demon because aaaaaaaa the first time i found him, especially in chapter 3? it was terrifying :^) he isnt much more than a elaborate jumpscare maybe, but i must say that seeing him behind a corner, even in that one boris sidegame? it’s genuinely unsettling sometimes. plus i love his design so much- BUT NOT AS MUCH AS I LOVE ALICE’S and im putting this one under read more bc i dont want it to be too long ansmdg
ok so. alice.
idk if im in the minority for this, the real unpopular opinion will come later with joey but. i love her so much??? “oh but shes a villain and tortures boris” yea i know thats what villains do. sammy tries to kill you for crying out loud.  she’s just. such a fun antagonist. maybe it’s just me but bad guys who are all about perfection and stuff are very good and fun if written correctly and she’s so delightfully evil and charismatic? plus her design is absolute bomb.
a lil sad she had to die in such an underwhelming way (not counting the theory where the sammy we meet in ch.5 is actually sammy mixed with her, which tbh i wholeheartedly support) but thats such a minor pet peeve and SUCH a great way to introduce allison instead. something-something-symbolism, you know? allison being the one “killing” alice/susie? thats gr8.  
      sidenote i dont see where people got the whole “oh susie is bad bc shes just a woman who hates another woman” thing, like. she was upset allison took her part but she commented about it only in ONE tape, her big deal is with joey (and henry)?  idk i know people cant understand but thats my two cents. she was just pretty fucking mad at joey and rightfully so.
SPEAKING OF WHICH. JOEY DREW. HAH. TIME TO GO WITH THE CONTROVERSY bc i remember when ch5 came out everyone and their dog found HIS appearence underwhelming. ngl at first i was a little upset he wasnt the ink demon, but i’m honestly so glad he isn’t? while i still love inkdemon!joey, canon joey is... great. he’s an antagonist without really being one. he’s not evil, he’s not a villain who’s actively trying to murder everyone and everything to achieve perfection or revenge.
he’s just... a man who made a big mistake. a man with a dream, that sounds so genuine and delightful in his tapes up until the very last one where he finally shows his frustration about how much his dream doesnt fulfill the expectations.  he’s just an old man filled with regrets and sadness, likely simply because he didn’t achieve what he always wanted, but perhaps especially because he knows what he left behind?
his empire, of course, but his friends too. henry didnt talk to him for 30 years and it’s pretty obvious the two were close, and so many people - employees, FRIENDS - died or ended up completely deranged because of his mistakes. seeing him as nothing but a frail sad man, with no joy in his voice? it hurts, but feels like the perfect ending for him.
a bad ending, a SAD ending. a just ending. he wanted everything, (unknowingly) played with and ruined others, and for that he’s left alone with his memories.
i have. lots of feelings for joey drew.
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katzuyas · 5 years
Text
blood drips from the fingers of the hand that suddenly rips through the flesh of the man who was bout to cut yuuri’s head off with one clean swing of his sword, and yuuri can’t exactly say he minds this sudden development. there is a clean hole in the man’s chest when he’s discarded to the side like a piece of insignificant dust, but yuuri’s too busy gazing at the one who saved him to look closer at all the gore.
because before him stands the most handsome man he’s ever seen.
it’s part admiration, part disgust that stirs in yuuri’s belly as he watches the man lift his bloodied hand to his lips and suck his fingers clean. something very disturbing seems to be happening before his very eyes, and yet... and yet, yuuri feels himself bewitched to the point of staying there and watching.
“did I scare you?” the man asks, licking his hand clean much like a cat. a hell cat. one of those feral beasts that feast on rotten flesh and--
“um,” yuuri swallows. “no?”
he’s risking it, he thinks, but when he considers it closer, it’s not really a lie that he gives in reply. he’s only partially scared. everyone would be after someone tried to kill them, and yuuri’s fear stems from that alone, it looks like. 
“oh?” the man cocks his head to the side. he looks at yuuri with bright blue eyes, which shine like gems and steal yuuri’s breath altogether. “so you aren’t scared of me?”
“should I be?” yuuri asks back, wondering where he gets the audacity to question a being who can rip through a human with enough ease as he just witnessed.
maybe it’s his close brush with death that’s given him the courage, or maybe it’s another feeling -- one of premonition of what’s to come -- that tells him his adventure into the land of the dead might not yet be far off, but yuuri finds strength in his limbs and lightness in his heart, so he stands.
and he looks the man in the eyes with no fear. “are you going to hurt me?”
the man seems to be as surprised at yuuri’s question as yuuri is at his own daring.
“hurt you? no!” he shakes his head and his silver hair flits about like spiderwebs on a light morning breeze. “why would you even think that? I’d never hurt you.”
“well,” yuuri clears his throat, looking to where the corpse of the man who tried to take his life has yet to chill. “that might have something to do with my question, but... if you aren’t here to hurt me... and you just saved me... then, how-- I mean, who are you? and why did you help me?”
the little breath that escapes from the man’s lips is much more hushed than a gasp. much more... disappointed, yuuri decides when he sees the crestfallen look on the man’s face.
“you don’t know,” comes the reply, and yuuri frowns.
of course he doesn’t? how could he--
“you called for me.”
“what?” yuuri blinks, surprised. “no, I didn’t. I would’ve known if--”
“but you did,” the man insists. “I wouldn’t be here otherwise. you called me, or, well, your soul did? when humans come close to death their souls resonate, you see, and some of you have the strength to call one of us.”
humans, yuuri’s mind repeats as it reels. one of us.
“who... who are you?” he repeats through trembling lips.
the man’s smile is a slow thing, and it’s beautiful. it’s beautiful, but all of his handsome face is. it’s in his eyes that the beauty ends, or maybe, maybe that’s where it truly begins, because his blue gaze glows with power that is darker than any yuuri has seen.
he shivers when the man steps up to him, almost jumps in unease when he kneels. yuuri’s hand is taken and brought up to those smiling lips. there’s blood stains on his skin now, too, from the leftovers of his almost-killer, and yuuri’s stomach turns when he feels a kiss pressed to the inner part of his wrist -- right where his pulse flutters like a bird trapped in a cage against its will.
“I am nothing but your loyal dog, my liege,” the man whispers.
his warm breath settles in the palm of yuuri’s hand, distracting, but not distracting enough.
“my what?” yuuri asks. his voice comes out broken, so he clears his throat, and says again: “I don’t understand. how...?”
“you called upon me,” the man explains. “and I answered your call. I am now yours to command until the day you inevitably die.”
“but I didn’t,” yuuri insists, this time harder. he shakes his head. “I couldn’t have.”
“whyever not?”
the man peers up at him. he looks so perfectly poised while he continues to kneel at yuuri’s feet that yuuri trembles within himself from how beautiful it makes him. he knows he shouldn’t, but... he was already set to die tonight and he didn’t. so maybe luck was on his side, after all. maybe... maybe enough of it to let him get away with even more.
he slips his hand away from the light grasp and bows over until he can take the man’s face in his hands and set their foreheads together in faux gentleness. and he knows it instantly when the man realizes the change in the atmosphere around them, for those brilliant blue eyes widen in surprise that is heavily meshed with awe -- the awe that somehow makes yuuri feel powerful, more so than usual.
powerful, and stupid.
it’s that feeling that makes his brown eyes glow red, and it’s that feeling, too, which has him give the silky whisper of truth that only sparse few have ever heard:
“because I have no soul to call you.”
the man’s breath comes fast and hard, but he hears the truth in yuuri’s words, sees it in his inhuman eyes. gently, he turns his head towards the corpse of what must have been his intended master, the one that called him and the one he should’ve served, and yuuri lets him. he lets go.
“oh dear,” the man says, yet his voice does not indicate much upset about the way things have turned out. “I guess... I made a mistake? now that is no fun. I will need to head back to hell then...”
he stands up, but... he doesn’t look like he’s in a hurry. in fact, he looks as if he wishes for a reason to stay. something to keep him here...
“before you go,” yuuri says before he thinks twice about it. “thank you for saving me. I would have died if he succeeded, so whatever trouble you’re in because of that, I feel like I should help you. so if you, well, that is, there is little I can do, but if you need a place to stay or to lie low for a while--”
“really?” the man blinks, and then breaks out into a smile so dazzling that yuuri feels the urge to shield his eyes. “could I stay with you then? I’m in no hurry to return, honestly. it’s so... dreary down there, you know.”
“but won’t you be in trouble if you don’t, I don’t know, report this? at least?”
the man shrugs. “they probably already know. besides, I’m glad I did what I did. I’d rather serve you than that pile of--”
“you don’t even know me,” yuuri tells him, a little amused, but mostly just too surprised at the turn of events to be fearful.
“but I’d like to know you,” the man replies easily. as easily as he slides up to him. as easily as he takes yuuri’s hand again, and as easily as he wraps his arm around yuuri’s waist almost in a parody of a dancing stance. “I’d very much like to know you... all of you.”
blood rushes to yuuri’s cheeks like it never has before, but even though the night is dark, he’s sure that this man can see it. he’s standing so close that he must, and yuuri knows it when he takes in the smile on his lips: a quirked, playful little thing that brings even more heat to yuuri’s face.
“how can I make a decision like that if you refuse to answer any of my questions,” yuuri says, but his protest is a feeble one. he already knows that he will not be able to resist this man’s charms. not now, not ever, most likely.
“then ask again, and I shall give you whatever it is you wish for.”
the man brings yuuri’s hand to his lips again, but this time he chooses to rest a kiss on yuuri’s knuckles instead of his wrist. if possible, it seems even more intimate than before, and yuuri’s heart beats double inside his chest.
“your name first,” he asks, unable to lift his eyes from where the man holds his hand in a grasp that is far gentler than yuuri would imagine. “and, who are you?”
“victor,” the man breathes. “my name is victor. and I’m a hellhound who answers the call of a human soul ready for eternal damnation. but, for you, I will be whoever you wish me to be--”
yuuri shakes his head as he looks up, right into his eyes. “no. you are who you are, and you will be who you decide to be. I have no right to change that, or ask it of you.”
victor’s surprise is clear, surely he hasn’t expected this. something in yuuri softens at the sight and it’s that same something that chooses to rest his trust in this man -- in victor -- whom he only just met, but whom he feels like he was supposed to meet all along.
“I’m yuuri,” yuuri says, and smiles when victor’s eyes meet his again. “yuuri of the katsuki clan. and I’m a vessel of the the squid god of hasetsu bay. my soul has already been claimed, but, with what little of myself there is left, I am pleased to make your acquaintance, victor.”
“oh, I assure you, yuuri,” victor chirps, sweet and playful, “the pleasure is all mine.”
he kisses yuuri’s hand again, yet this time his lips linger on yuuri’s skin just a bit longer while silver eyelashes flutter as victor closes his eyes. he breathes in deep, which makes yuuri flush all over again.
he quickly realizes why victor has done it, though. he’s a hellhound. he must have been familiarizing himself with yuuri’s scent, so that he could recognize it among the many others. and yet, once he figures it out, yuuri’s blush doesn’t go away. it only deepens, and deepens still when victor peers up at him with a gaze that is far more smitten than yuuri could ever hope it to be.
“you... um,” he bites his tongue from how fast he wants to speak, and needs to look away as embarrassment churns in his throat. yet, looking away from victor is harder than anything he’d ever done, and yuuri soon finds himself glancing his way again. “you said,” he tries again, “you said that you’d like to stay here, yes? if you still do, then my parents have an inn not far from here. we all live there, so if you--”
“I’d be honoured,” victor confesses, voice and eyes soft.
and yuuri, as he leads him by the hand which victor refuses to let go of, cannot deny that his heart feels oddly soft as well.
he was meant to die this night, but instead he has found himself with this strange man, who makes him feel strange things, and strangest of all? he has found himself trusting him, caring for him, and... before the cherry blossoms sprout their petals as spring takes her first steps, he finds himself loving him -- a hellhound from hell, who appeared in his life bloody, and who made all the blood in yuuri’s body run that much faster.
a hellhoud, a man, who showed him that even without a soul life has enough to offer to live, to love, and to be loved.
the hellhound, the man, whom yuuri has given what little of his was left to give: his heart.
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princess-hours · 5 years
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Descendants 3 (2019) Review
what i liked:
- the vk squad with like all of the vks including harry uma gil? so valid i really liked their development especially mal x uma and jay x gil
- speaking of mal and uma i loved their whole relationship this movie, it progressed at a good speed and i feel like even in the end this really was the dove cameron and china mcclain movie like it felt like both of them against the bad guy which i liked
- my favorite song was definitely night falls, but i also liked the audrey song and good to be bad and the kiss song
- i liked the new baby vks! they were cute i liked how celia’s relationship with her dad and the rest of the vks had like (mostly) loving relationships with their family like it was definitely a shift away from the original vks and their parents that made the idea of closing the border more upsetting
- i loved audrey as the villain oh my god it was a little over dramatic but like for some reason it was infinitely more entertaining to see her act overdramatic and the whole ‘happy birthday jane’ thing was so badass
- production value was definitely better this time around, costume and hair design on the core 4 plus audrey (the make it pink make it blue sleeping beauty reference that was her hair) and most of the other characters was definitely improved, they used less clunky cgi
- i really liked the message of the movie and the overall way they tried to accomplish it like the ideas in it about unity, and good coming from everywhere just like evil, it was fleshed out and it was presented well, especially in the ending of the film
- small moments that i really liked---- ben singing did i mention to propose, janes cake getting slowly eaten over the course of the movie, harry and gil stealing their bikes at the beginning of the movie and crashing them lol, it was really a girl power movie which i appreciated, jane x carlos and the necklace uwu, evie being so lighthearted
things i didnt like as much:
- im not like the biggest hades stan his hair was too large and i feel like there shouldve been a little bit more development between him and mal besides the song, he felt a little plot devicey, giving a new powerful magic object liek the ember, healing audrey, and giving mal a way to show her growth by forgiving him, etc??
- there was no punishment for audrey or chad like i know it was to talk about remorse but there shouldve been at least some more acknowledgement of the wrongs they did like them apologizing to everyone esp chad he literally just avoided that by being comic relief
- uma reigniting the ember was a bit iffy, it felt like a cop out that only happened for the sake of the plot and the character development,,, that really wouldve been the best time to reintroduce hades and have him reignite it but i guess not
- where is lonnie?!?!
- the cinematography on the night falls scene didnt do the choreography any favors like i feel like it was cut really weird they shouldve put longer shots instead of all the cuts
- if i have to see that dog talk one more time im going to lose it
- this is nitpicky but who is harry’s love interest supposed to be i feel like they made it be uma and then he was like janes hot and then he was like uma and then he was like audrey like um im confusion
- i understand like the importance of them opening the bridge to the isle right but like thats not 100 percent realistic right like it originally was built as jail im not some mass incarceration supporter but like i dont want every single villain/criminal out? but like i do think that people should have the quality of life in auradon so yeah i was mixed on that
Overall:
I liked the movie but the songs were super hit or miss for me. The choreography was good but it was being restricted by the editing of the movie smh. The plot was great, message was great, even if the ending was a little rushed and not fully covered. Production quality really was amazing. I’ll probably make a shorter, less detailed version of this highlighting the small moments I liked the most.
Another note: The tribute to Cameron Boyce was really sweet and I felt my heart break while watching it. I felt like crying when I saw that clip of him and Sophie Reynolds on the set of Gamer’s Guide. He died too young, and may he rest in peace.
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batgirl-87 · 5 years
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So @mdeenise “challenged” me to answer all of the questions from this Hogwarts Mystery Asks: MC. I’ve already answered some (can check ‘asks’ or ‘ask game’ tags, I’ll also link them in my Masterlist) so I’ll answer the rest I haven’t been asked yet here because
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1. What is their whole name? 
Nereida Adelyn-Keira LaFontaine Black
5. How is there relationship with Jacob?
Keira and Jacob were very close - it was them against the world! They’re very protective of one another, they can get/have gotten into a lot of trouble together, both with a rebellious, mischievous streak; but they are also siblings so there’s teasing, embarrassing each other, lots of physical ‘play fighting’ - they’re very much like I can be mean to my sibling but if you’re mean to them I’ll hurt you. Clearly when he ‘disappeared’ it was devastating for Keira and she felt completely alone. 
6. How is their relationship with their parents?
Both Keira and Jacob loved their mom who was their primary caregiver. Keira honestly doesn’t really remember her dad much but Jacob hates him. She has a vague recollection of him and Regulus and Sirius, a bit better memory of Sirius who kept in contact with her and Jacob even after they moved to Canada, possibly to spite his parents but Keira thinks he actually cares about his younger half-siblings even if it was something that started out from spite or curiosity. 
When their mom died of course Jacob and Keira were very sad over their loss. They were then taken in by their mom’s close friends and moved to Canada from Ireland and while there was an adjustment period they both appreciate the care they provided, and while Jacob and Keira didn’t exactly feel like they belong in this ‘family’ their mom’s friends were great parental figures and they do care about them and appreciate everything they’ve done for them. Their dad was nonexistent in their lives after the passing of their mom (he passed soon after the next year, after the death of Regulus) but when they arrived in the UK to attend Hogwarts they did find savings left for them from their dad in Gringotts (safe to assume without his wife’s knowledge). 
So both love their mom and ‘adopted’ parents (unofficially adopted =p) and while Jacob hates their dad and views him as a manipulative, selfish, neglectful arse, Keira is pretty neutral and apathetic about her dad since she doesn’t really remember him all that well. But she appreciates the money! =p 
8. How’s their relationship with their family?
Ahahahahahaha - I’m cackling =p
Unfortunately, the family on Keira and Jacob’s mom’s side are all pretty much passed or they have no idea who they are =p Their mom and mom’s parents are passed and their mom had no siblings since her mom died relatively soon after her birth (undines...) As stated before, Jacob and Keira appreciate and care very much for their mom’s friends who took them in after her passing, although a bit of awkwardness since it’s not ‘really’ their family...
As for the Black side of their family *more cackling* Orion seemed much more interested in their mom than them and didn’t seem to want much to do with them, at least according to Jacob. Walburga hates them and this whole situation, of course! With good reason! She honestly probably would of had them killed. She focused most of her energy on ensuring this scandal did not get out into the public and was probably very relieved when they moved across the pond. Of course when Jacob returned to attend Hogwarts he was done living this lie and didn’t care who it upset and went by his Black family name, encouraging his sister to do the same - this family would not win! Walburga could try to deny it all she wanted but a paternity test (which I’ve done some research on Wizarding World paternity tests and some interesting ideas came up!) just proved it.
Despite this, Walburga and the rest of the Black family continued to ignore their entire existence. Andromeda may have been left out of the loop considering she was disowned from the family as well but when Keira and Tonks realized they were both related to Bellatrix Lestrange, and therefore related themselves, Keira was so happy to be accepted by some members of the Black family. Sirius also was accepting of his younger half-siblings and stayed in contact with them even after they moved to Canada. He may have only gone to see them at first out of curiosity and then continued to visit and communicate with them out of spite to his parents but he probably did care about them and enjoyed them more than Regulus because they weren’t brought up in a pureblood elitist household. Probably wished their mom was his mom which would just upset Walburga. And if Walburga didn’t hate them before, after she passed, Keira, now more spiteful and daring with everything that has happened, moved into the now empty (well except for Kreacher) 12 Grimmauld Place which would just piss Walburga off! How she convinced Remus, no idea - basically she was like I’m doing this and Remus had to go along with it =p
Wait, is Kreacher family? Keira and Kreacher argue a lot and she will not stand for him being mean to Remus or any of her friends and will threaten to kick him out although it’s an empty threat because she wouldn’t actually kick him out and make him homeless! Kreacher of course thinks she’s invading some place that does not belong to her but because she is a Black she sort of does belong there and while not related to his previous Walburga, she is to Orion so he has to put up with her =p They eventually reach an understanding. Kreacher is free to stay there and does not have to do any chores or cleaning up after her or Remus, as long as he’s nice... or just stays away from her friends and Remus. 
I’m not sure how Regulus felt about them, maybe neutral? I think discovering his dad’s affair would be a shock to him, he might be curious as well to meet them and I like to think did meet them at least once, possibly while their mom was passing (like Orion went to see her and Sirius and Regulus decided to go as well because, hey, it is their younger siblings whether they like it or not and it’s a hard thing to go through) but I think he was more worried and concerned about Death Eater affairs and tricking Voldemort =p
So while Keira is close with Tonks, and probably her parents as well, and both Keira and Jacob are accepted by Sirius, and maybe even Regulus, who knows =p, most of the Black family still pretends they don’t exist. Although I like to think Keira later bonds with Draco and they become close and overall these next generations are going to be better. And while Bellatrix may refuse to acknowledge Keira’s relationship to her, deep down she actually really likes Keira because she’s a strong, tough bitch who isn’t afraid of her and would have killed Dumbledore without even being a Death Eater if asked =p Seriously, Keira knows she’s actually Bella’s favorite. 
(This also pretty much works for my original HP OC bio where she was Sirius’ daughter because besides Tonks, Andromeda, and Ted, the rest of the Black family wouldn’t really acknowledge her existence either)
Does Remus count as family? Of course he does, he’s “Uncle Remus!” =p Remus and Keira had an instant bond, they are incredibly close - I like to think of it as two people who felt completely alone in the world found each other and now they were not longer alone. Keira is very much like Sirius, and Jacob can be very much like James actually, so it was actually nice for Remus to be around them if not bittersweet. I actually have a post about Keira and Remus’ relationship so I won’t say too much more besides they are very close and Keira is suuuuper protective over him.
9. Do they have any other siblings?
Sirius and Regulus Black
11. Do they have pets?
Keira has a Siamese cat and Jacob had a Barred Owl named Archimedes which I guess is hers now too? Jacob also wanted a dog or crup but then went to school so their ‘adoptive’ parents are taking care of it =p
14. Any crushes?
Charlie Weasley.
She won’t outright admit it but it’s obvious to everyone else besides Charlie. Wasn’t even aware of it herself for quite awhile! =p But fortunately she plays it pretty cool and isn’t a stuttering mess around him so maybe he has no idea she likes him because she’s so chill and nonchalant about it. Although she can be flirtatious but she can be like that with a lot of people =p (She’s related to Sirius she can’t help it! =p)
16. Have they ever dated someone before (Either back at their home or at Hogwarts)?
Rumour has it during her summer before Sixth Year, where she spent most of it in Canada, and going into Sixth Year she was dating someone. Has not been confirmed nor denied. 😜
(I think that’s all of them? Wasn't that much actually, I expected more =p But I still wrote a lot more than intended so sorry about that! Hope I explained things well enough! If anyone has any questions or want to talk about MC’s more hit me up! Thanks for your challenge! 😉💙)
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daggerflash · 5 years
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Monsters Fate (full story)
“Zane!”
I shouted towards the  red-head as I  jogged over to his spot. He was listening to something, probably fall out boys, and had just slipped on his hood as I came up so he didnt notice me at first. I tapped him on the head to get his attention and he jumped a little.
“Wha?!-oh hey DF! Didn't notice you there! How are you doing?”
I smiled at Zane. Zane usually has his head in the clouds and tends to not pay attention to his surroundings. Sometimes it worries me since he's had a bad history with daydreaming. Back before he became my roommate he had been living with his abusive mother and had been punished for it. When he was old enough to move out he asked me if he could become my roommate. Since we had been friends since he was 5, and I knew about his mother, I didn't refuse.  And I must admit though, ever since he's moved in I have tended to be a bit protective over him.
“I’m doing good. Are you ready to go home?”
���I have been ready for over an hour you dolt.”
“HEY! Don't call me a dolt you dolt. Plus I couldn't wait to get this,”
I retorted back as I flashed the tattoo that I had gotten.
It was a small tattoo on my shoulder of three wolves. Each were slightly different in shape and size as well as coat texture. One of the wolves was slightly smudged so it seemed more like a shadow or if it was a fake wolf.
He playfully punched my arm as the bus arrived. We rode the bus to our apartment building walked up two flights of stairs and opened the door to our third-floor apartment. I walked down the main hall and headed for my room where I dropped off my bag full of merch and turned back to the door and walked towards the living room. Zane was already perched on the couch scrolling through Netflix trying to find his favorite series, Voltron.
“Still working on that cartoon?” I teased as he gave me a triggered look.
“For your information it's called a animated series, thank you very much.” he huffed as the introduction played.
Deciding that I didn't want to push him any further I plopped down next to him and watched the show.After watching two to three episodes I decided to head off to bed.
****                     
“Man that test was easy!”
I had just finished my driving test and was holding my new licenses.
“You better not lose that, you just got it after all.” Zane teased as I slipped it into my pocket.
“Hey I won't lose it!” I retorted as we walked past a alleyway.
That's when I noticed two guys were towering over a poor kitten kicking it over, and over, and over. The kitten was mewling in pain and I felt a bitter rage come over me.
“Hey! Knuckleheads! Stop hurting an innocent animal!”
The one on the right turned to us with a annoyed expression visible on his dog-like face.
“Why don't you shut your trap , pretend this never happened, and walk away,” he growled as he stomped towards my direction.
He easily towered me by like three feet, But I have dealt with worse knuckleheads than these. In one swift movement I punched him in the jaw and kicked him where it hurts. He groaned in pain while the guy on the left swiftly turned and, in  a blink of an eye, was right next to me. Then there was darkness.
I woke up to find myself in a weird looking warehouse. The glass windows that I could see were tinted to be darker and it smelled mildewy from what I could tell. I tried to move but found that I was being restrained by chains. The bite of metal against my skin helped me wake up more. I struggled against the bonds with all my force. The room echoed with the sound of rattling chains.
“I wouldn't do that if I were you.” a smooth, yet dark, voice pierced the silence.
That's when a feeble, yet illuminating,  light was turned on to reveal both the guys who kicked the cat with Zane across from us. Zane was slightly paler than usual and the chains bound around him were much tighter. When he looked up he seemed dazed, as if they had drugged him or worse.
“ZANE! Did they hurt you?,”I asked before I directed my gaze to the two men.
“THEY BETTER NOT HAVE! I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU DID!” I yelled baring my teeth and struggling on my bonds more.
“Tch-tch-tch, looks like we got a fighter Ross,” The guy on the left smirked as he continued “ Don't worry we haven't hurt your zaney-pie yet but we will if you don't calm down and be a good pet.”
He sauntered up to me and patted my head as I tried, vainly, to snap at his hand.
“Feisty one to, this one is definitely going to make a good pet for you Ross. I’ll take the quiet one.”He then unchained me and forced me into a leash and collar. He then forcefully tugged at the leash, cutting off my air.
“HEY! Were not animals! You can't treat us like this!” I protested as I gasped for breath and rubbed the parts of my neck that were not covered by the collar. he then  attached the same type of collar to Zane.
“We get to treat you however we want.” the other guy-Ross I think, purred?, no growled in pleasure more like, as he yanked me towards him. He was a lot rougher than the first male and by the time I could see again we were somewhere else. He led me down a hall I didn't notice before and pushed me into a room. It was a bedroom of sorts. It had a king sized bed and a desk with a laptop on top of the dusty surface. I noticed that once we entered the room Ross seemed to treat me much nicer than he did when he was with his ‘companion’. His hand loosened on the leash and his feature softened into a more mellow expression.
“You can sit on the bed if you want, pet.” he said as he, himself lowered onto its surface. The bed groaned in protest as he sat down. I was still suspicious of him and he seemed to notice it and scooted himself near the front of the bed as he tugged me towards the other far side. I gingerly sat down and  stared at him for any sign of ill intent but he seemed more kind and not as rough now that there were not any other being except for us.
I decided to get information . “So who’s your “friend”?”
“Oh him, he's not my friend; more like a jailor if you will. He seems to go by the name Geno.”
Ross’s face seemed to cloud over with anger.
“He claims to be a vampire lord and he said he needed a loyal partner. At the time I was an idiot to think that I would be treated fair by a vamp ,since I’m a werewolf, and accepted his offer.”
Were Wolves,Vampires? I gasped in disbelief at his words. How can they be real?
“W-wait they exist!?”
Ross then gave me a look that I couldn't read.
“Of course they do.”
I closed my eyes so I could wrap my head around this. Maybe they were psychopaths? Yeah that's it.But Ross seemed so sure of himself. Maybe he was psychologically tortured or something as a kid and it messed him up.
When I opened my eyes two bright yellow eyes were staring back. I wanted to look away but for some reason they seemed to keep me stuck in place. I was shocked. So supernatural creatures are real. Ok then. Normally I wouldn't quickly grasp an idea, but his eyes looked to real to be contacts.
“Are you scared of me?” Ross asked as he leaned back. His yellow eyes flicked to my own then to the ground as he prepared for my answer.
“No.” He looked up in surprise as I continued. “Let me guess. He wants you to turn me into a werewolf and he will turn Zane into a vampire.”
He looked ashamed, but he didn't deny it.
I was surprised that I guessed correctly, but it was the answer that made the most sense. The way Geno called us pets and how he looked at Zane as if he was his next 5 star meal also helped tipped me off. Ugh this sounds so stereotypical it would be funny if  it wasn't for the fact that this was Zane and I instead of some other people.
“I have already failed two other times; I have to do it or else I die…”
I was shocked. He dies if he doesn't change me?
“Geno is a horrible cruel Vamp who will kill all who become useless to him.”
That statement upset me. A lot. I know it is weird to feel sorry for your captor but ever here of stockholm syndrome?
Im kidding, just kidding! In reality what made it so that I felt sorry for him was the fact he was as much of a victim that I was in that place.
And at that exact moment Geno decided to barge in with a scared, crying, and disbelieving Zane. That shook me out of my thoughts quite quickly, as well as the jerk of the leash.
“Ross! Have you changed him yet?”
“N-no I haven't…”
“Augh you know what. Follow me.”
Geno starting pulling us towards another room. As we were tugged along I asked Zane if he was okay.
“Yeah Im okay. He tried to bite me but I was able to avoid him. He was pissed”
I sighed in pure relief when he said this. Geno then kicked opened the door to a  room and dragged me to the wall and locked my arms in chains. I then heard him do the same to Zane in another room. I also heard Zane and Geno have a scuffle before the clack of metal telling me that Zane was as locked up as I was. I strained as hard as I could against the chains, but they wouldn't budge.
Geno re-entered the room and turned to Ross.
“Are you going to turn him or what?”
“No Geno, Never!”
He sighed,“Since you wont turn your pet by yourself I guess I will have to force you.” and with that sentence Geno sealed my fate. He walked over to Ross and took out a syringe. Ross tried to fight him but Geno grabbed him and had him in a death grip. He stabbed Ross with the syringe and then with a last “See you in your new life.” to me left the room.
At that moment only one thought raced through my head.
“NOOOOOOO,” I screamed.
My head dropped as I looked towards the ground. I could hear his grunts of pain and the ripping of clothes. I tried to prie my chains off me when I heard a growl so animal like it made me freeze. I looked up to find a full grown werewolf staring right back at me.
“R-Ross?...”
He growled and the next thing I know I am out of my chains and Ross is on top of me. He was a monstrous sight. His body as a werewolf was covered in scars and his eyes made him look even more feral. His fur was all sorts of shades of grey.
“Ross! Stop it! It's me!” That seemed to snap him out of it a little bit but not much. He whined as if pleading with me to just accept my fate. At that moment I heard screaming from the other room. It was Zane. I was thrown into a animal like fury struggling to get Ross off me as I shouted threats and cuss words at Geno for hurting Zane. His screams were nerve wracking and I could almost feel the fear that he felt. Then like someone muting a TV everything went silent in the other room. Ross was still growling but had been waiting for me to stop struggling. I sobbed as I weakly struggled. My strength left me with that last struggle and my head flopped on the floor. I was to weak to do anything then swing my head to look up at Ross as he looked down at me in a hungry/sad manner. He lowered his head towards the end of my neck and seemed to sniff it,then he licked the nape of my neck. It tickled slightly. Ross then bit down. As  I felt his teeth tear through my flesh  I screamed in pain.
****
I woke up gasping for breath. where am I?Am I a werewolf now? Is Zane okay? All of these questions raced through my head. The I noticed a alarm clock and when I looked down I realized I was in a bed I recognized. I was back in my apartment and it was 12:00 and we were safe yet again. I felt at my neck to find it wrapped in bandages. I was to weak to get up so I just sat there in numb silence.
I guess I must have fallen asleep because I was back in the warehouse place watching Zane get sucked dry right in front of me as  Geno said ”see you in the next life kids.” I woke up with arms wrapped around me. I tried to get out of the grip thinking it was Geno but then Zane's voice was coming from the person holding me.
“Df, DF, DF its okay its just me.” He said in a soft voice. I stopped struggling and leaned into his embrace.
“I-I-I am so happy to see you.” I said into his stomach as he put my head in his lap.
I cried in Relief for a little as he carded his fingers through the fringe of my hair. It was so good to see him safe and sound. His hands were steady and his presence was a strong way to relieve my stress.
“How long have I been out?” I finally asked sniffling a little.
“Three weeks.”
I couldn't believe I had been out for that long. I only had two questions left.
“Are we…?” I tried to ask but it got stuck in my throat. Thankfully he seemed to get my point.
“Yes I got turned by Geno and Ross seemed to lose all humanity and turned you.”
“O-oh.”
“Yeah... But I must admit you really pull of the ears and tail.”
“W-WAIT WHAT!” I shouted as I blushed in pure embarrassment. I did not understand what he meant and tried to ask, but he raised a finger to silence me.
“Yeah... you seem to have wolf ears and a tail even when your not in a actual werewolf form. I would let you get up to see but if you did you would probably collapse. Your to weak right now.”
He then got up and left for a short period of time and then came back with a hand mirror and gave it to me.
“Here take a look!”
I looked in the mirror to see two big, fluffy, Dark gold wolf ears with blue highlights  perched on my head that twitched in curiosity as I stared at them. I was shocked. They were real! It was strange. After a little of staring in the mirror I looked back up to see Zane smirking.
“I never knew you were this narcissistic DF.” Zane teased.
I gave him a mock hurt look as I whined in annoyance. The whine sounded quite dog- like. Zane chuckled and then a strangely hungry looked flashed over his face as he suddenly stood up.
“Um-I-I have to g…”
He broke off as I spun him around to see to blood red eyes staring at me with a intense hunger. Oddly enough I wasn't really worried.
“I forgot that you were a vampire.You haven't eaten at all have you?” I asked. He didn't answer. I started to get a little nervous.
“Zane ar-” I got cut off as Zane climbed on top of me. I froze as his hair brushed my face but then it turned into one of amusement.
“Hungry much? Well….. I guess I could let you feed off of me. Maybe. But... you have to promise to take care of me until I feel better.” That seemed to break him out of his trance long enough to ask me two questions.
“Won't you get turned into a werepyre or something if I feed off of you? And second of all why didn't you at least try to stop me from trying to chomp you? I could have killed you!”
I responded with “First of all you need to eat and I know you are not comfortable with randomly drinking some strangers plasma and second of all if I remember correctly werewolf blood is technically a delicacy to vamps.”
“Really? Where did you learn that? If I remember you didn't know monsters exist until 3 weeks ago.”
“I actually had to do an essay on vampire diets for a fan-fiction convention. I am hoping they are correct so that I can appear to know a thing or two. Now will I have to force you to eat or will you man up and do it yourself.”
At that sentence Zane blushed a little. It was weird seeing him blush at such a silly sentence. His blush was also different. Instead of an extreme rosy tint it mostly made Zane look like he is actually alive.  But in a few seconds my thought completely left me as he lowered his head and licked a sensitive part of my neck.
I whimpered at the weird sensation of being licked higher on my neck than Ross did when he bit me. It made a tingle rush up and down my body. I then felt something sharp pierce my neck and I felt Zane tense a little at the smell of blood. He then lifted my head as blood pooled out of the wound. Even though it hurt I was silent. I then felt his tongue against my neck as he lapped up the deep red liquid. A weird instinct to growl welled up in my mind. As I tried to keep the sound down it escaped my throat. I  noticed something was off about this growl. I wasn't very informed on wolf growls but I knew that wolves normally growl sharper.  This growl was to muted for a normal growl, it was more of a  sort of a placated growl, no hostile. Like it was more comforting. I kept growling as I grew weaker and weaker with every lick and suck from Zane. When Zane sealed my wound I stopped growling After that both him and I just layed there. Not in discomfort or in embarrassment just in placated silence. I glanced at him and saw that he was staring at me. He then blushed beet red as he looked away.
“I am so sorry!”
Oh shut it already.”
He looked at me in surprise as I closed my eyes and succumbed to sleep.
****
I woke up feeling slightly shaky but much better that I had in days. I got out of bed, careful not to wake the sleeping Zane that was right next to me, and headed slowly toward our kitchen. I didn't bother to turn on any lights since I could see just fine.
I got a glass of water as I opened the fridge. My mouth watered as the smell of summer sausage assaulted my nose. I noticed that my sense of smell allowed me to smell all of the foods even if the were sealed tightly. I liked how I could maneuver throughout the dark house without bumping into anything or making a single sound.
That's when I remembered my tail and ears . It was to easy for me to forget that they were there. I watched my tail sway as I appreciated that I, we, were still alive. I then went to the bathroom and stared at my ears as they twitched on top of my head. I didn't notice that Zane was right next to me until he tapped my arm. I jumped a little and started to panic but calmed down just as fast. He had started petting my head.  It was actually quite a calming sensation.
“Sorry for scaring you. I forgot that I don’t own a reflection anymore.”
He chuckled as he continued to pet my ears. I had started doing that weird growling thing again and Zane had noticed it for the first time. He at first stopped, worried that I was about to attack him, but then he noticed my expression and decided to investigate. He went back to petting my ears but more halfheartedly. I gave him a uncomfortable look as I edged away from him and went into the living room and sat on the couch. He followed me and went back to petting my ears, this time doing a better job, after a few second the growl came back. He chuckled.
“Hey DF I think you have your own purr.”
“Really?”
I then noticed that unlike the growl I had when Zane was feeding off of me this one held a slight crooning note to it. It made me sound like I was a little pup.
“It's kinda cute.” Zane admitted as he giggled at my triggered look.
“I wonder if your werewolf form is actually just a pup… I guess we will find out tonight.”
“TONIGHT!”
My shout startled Zane, his fists were clenched and he looked like a wild animal but he still kept my gaze.  panic seized me. I couldn't believe it. Tonight was a full moon!?Zane calmed down and his expression turned into a more mellowly worried look as I started pacing.
“DF it's going to be okay. If were correct than you should just turn into a pup.”
“But what if I go full form?! What if I am a full grown were wolf instead of an innocent doe-eyed pup?! what if I attack someone?! Or I end up hurting you?!” I replied with a less intense panicked tone in my voice.
“You won't hurt anyone okay!” Zane said as he hugged me tightly. And with that we waited until the faithful moment.
****
I was feeling weird. It felt like I had a fever and a cold at the same time. Zane had led me to my room, which I thought was strange but at the time I did not question it, and I was curled up into a ball on my bed trying to go to sleep. My alarm clock showed that it was  9:30. I then felt something pop as I groaned in pain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zane
As I heard Df groan in pain worry flashed through my mind. Is he going to be okay? Is my prediction going to be true? I started towards his room. I cautiously opened the door a crack as I heard small sniffs coming from the room. I then controlled my fear and pushed open the door all the way.
There he was in the middle of the room. He had jerked around so that he could see who was entering. I couldn't help but inwardly sigh in relief and sorta giggle at the sight in front of me. I was right, he was a pup. He was about the size of a golden retriever and had gold and blue swirled fur all over him. His eyes were two different colors, one yellow the other blue-grey. He gave me a tiny growl as he approached. I held perfectly still as he tried to find out if I was friend or foe. With a bark of happiness he confirmed me as a friend. I relaxed a bit as he pranced around me.
DF was quite big for a wolf but not quite big enough to be called a werewolf. I decided  to sit down on his bed and as I did so he jumped up and snuggled into my stomach like he did when he was human. I started to pet his back and he gave a pleased whimper.
We then heard my stomach growl as I wince in pain. He then jumped off the bed and started to guide me out of his room.
DF whined at me as he dragged me to the entrance to our apartment. “Woah DF no way!” I yelped as he tried to open the door “I can't just let you run down there! You would scare the heck out people!” He gave me an exasperated look as my stomach growled again, this time even louder.
As he kept glaring at me I finally realized what he was trying to relay to me.
I contemplated on how I was going to be able to eat/feed tonight. I didn't want to hurt an innocent person and DF wasn't in the right state of mind so that I could just ask him to donate. He perked up his ears as we hear some birds that our neighbors own chirped. He then looked at me again and the second thing he was trying to relay finally sunk in.
As I mulled it over the idea seemed to get better and better. But I didn’t know if animal blood would kill me or not. Then pulling a ,what I think now was, stupid move I googled “Can animal blood kill a vampire?”. It came up with a whole page stating that it didn’t kill vamps. I know that not all myths about a vampire are true but with all the people saying yes I could bet that at least one or two vampires might be one of the many writers saying that it is ok.
I then felt a wave of hunger and happiness flood over me. “Ok DF I will take us outside as long as one. You only kill squirrels and other SMALL creatures and Two. You don't try to scare people ok?”
DF gave me a cheerful bark as I opened the door to the main hall to the apartment building. Luckily enough it was late enough that no one was anywhere near the building and the forest behind it. DF ran so fast he was like a blur. I jogged so that I could be within eye and earshot of DF.
I marveled at my improved eyesight and hearing. I could hear the rustling of the trees and even sounds of the tiniest animals you could imagine. I could also see the tiny details in DF’s fur as he stood, his ears erect on his head as he listened and scented for prey.
Letting my hunger take slight control I used my new sense of smell to see if I could find any prey. DF flashed by me as he hunted a mouse that just streaked by. I wasn’t very worried. DF as a Were seemed moderately confident in his abilities. I then caught the scent of a  squirrel. My mouth suddenly watered as I imagined biting into the small body as the blood dripped into my mouth, I cringed.
Why am I thinking like this?! I stalked the squirrel into a corner. Then with a slash of claws that sprang from my nails the squirrel was dead. As blood gushed from the slash marks my mouth watered as his hunger took me over all the way. I drained the squirrel and searched for more. The blood tasted good, but not as good as DF’s I thought . I cringed a little at that thought but shook it off as he thought well I’ll have to deal with the weird thoughts from now on. By the time I was done feeding DF was back and my watch said that it was 12:00 a.m.
I then led DF back to the apartment and lifted him onto his bed. Df started to whimper in sadness as I left and I turned around and saw him looking at me with big puppy eyes. I went back over to him and brushed a twig out of his fur.
“I will be right back DF, I just have to wash my hands and take a shower then I will come back, ok?”
He whimpered again but seemed to relax as I explained. I then went into the bathroom washed my hands and turned on the shower. I scrubbed my hair and enjoyed the heat of the water. I smiled at the fact that even though all my other senses were improved, my ability to soak up and feel heat was still the same.  
I got out and went into my room and got dressed into my galaxy shirt and black shorts. I went back to DFs room to see him waiting for me. He seemed to smile as he pulled his lips up to show a row of teeth so sharp it looked like it could rip through steel.
I then Turned on his TV as I got on his bed. He crawled towards me and snuggled into my stomach. I  watched Voltron and did some research as I fell asleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DF
I woke up to a very warm something under me and Pidge screaming at something. I looked up to find Zane sleeping in his galaxy shirt and petting my back. I then looked towards the TV to find Voltron playing. I got up to see that I was butt naked and got into a new set of clothes.
It consisted of my favorite “Potato Life” shirt and black jeans. I was slightly embarrassed at waking up in my birthday suit, but was more concerned about what happened last night.
I did not want to wake Zane up though, since he looked so peaceful sleeping there, so I went down stairs with my phone and headphones and made myself breakfast while the music drifted out of the head phones and into the room. I felt silly for picking the headphones up since I didn't have the ears for it but I thought it would be a good idea to use them to make it so then I don't wake Zane . When I thought about Zane I had this happy feeling that kept washing over me.
The song put me in a good mood as I finished making a stack of pancakes for Zane and I. I sat down and started to eat as Zane shuffled through the kitchen. I giggled at his dazed look as his neck snapped towards me. He smiled tiredly as he shuffled quickly toward the table and sat down and scarfed down the pancakes I put on his plate.
(in this universe vampire can eat normal food as well as blood but they can only survive if the drink blood so Zanes just eating them for the flavor and to appear normal.) He looked happy to see me .
“So how was the transformation?” I asked nervously.
His reply was slow, since his mouth was stuffed with the tasty meal, but he swallowed and finally answered with, “It was actually really fun and interesting. You were not  actually  the were-pup that I thought you would look like; you looked like a wolf. There was the fact I to feed on a squirrel but I got over it. You also snuggled with me.”
I at another bite of my pancakes as I relaxed. I didn't go full werewolf so I am fine from now on. It was interesting hearing him narrate the story on our hunting trip and I smiled at how he kept over thinking things.
Zane continued “ I  have done some research on a few things for your werewolf since you now have a few extra perks and instincts.”
“What do you mean?” I asked slightly confused.
Zane pulled out his phone and opened something I couldn't see and read/paraphrased something out loud.
“Well the problem is that your werewolf form is about the age where it is going through “ wolf puberty,”
I went beet red when he said puberty. I know its a  childish reaction but I didn't want one of the many “Talks”. He noticed this and rolled his eyes.
“Anyways that means that you will get more defensive and easily provoked during this period of time. Especially to those you care deeply for. You will also become extremely snuggly,clingy, and kind to either your mate if you have one, which you don't, or in some cases you can get attached to a certain person, no matter what species, who becomes sort of  your interspecies mate/companion. They are the most important when it comes to your transformation because they are the only ones who can understand and control you in that form.” Zane read.
We had been walking into our living room and had just sat on the couch when he said that. I tensed a little and he petted my ears to calm me down. We sat down on the couch as he rubbed behind my ears as my happy growl rumbled around the room. I had this feeling I couldn't describe and  I suddenly found myself in his lap licking his neck as he giggles. I wanted to stop but my instinct told me to continue. I nuzzled deeper into his neck and kept licking a certain spot. He let out a huff of air and I came back from what I thought at the time was  my affectionate puppy trance.
I looked at his face and it was covered with a deep blush and he was huffing quite a bit. I blushed a deep red as I apologized for my actions. While I stuttered he grabbed my hands and pulled me into a hug.
“Its okay, I knew you didn't have control over your actions and my neck is really sensitive there ever since Geno bit me”
He wasn't huffing anymore and was smiling softly. I felt a bitter feeling well up when he talked about Geno biting him. I then realized that I was imagining replacing Geno’s with my own bite.
I internally smacked myself for thinking like that. As I scolded myself I realized that I had been snuggling into Zane. It actually felt comfortable.
We cuddled  all morning and afternoon as we watched our favorite shows on Netflix.  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zane
I had noticed the DF had gotten weird this morning. It was quite weird being licked by him. The cuddling was actually nice  though. even though we are both guys and not dating.
I decided to slip away when he fell asleep. I noticed that his ears and tail were still out and they curled a bit in his sleep. It was kinda cute. I headed towards my room and went online. I had quit from my old job because I couldn't do the day shift any more and all the night shifts were taken so I decided to see what online jobs I could do. I have a Bachelors in computer programing/editing and knew of a few youtubers who needed a new editor.
Jacksepticeye had posted a video saying he needed a new editor and  I decided to send an email with a few references and my resume to him  hoping he would be Ok with a out of country editor since he also had Robin/Pixlpit. I  was now waiting for a response.
I had found out that I still appear in photos and video, just not in mirrors, since I had to take a selfie IRL  for jack.
I thought it was slightly funny but was relieved. I heard the familiar tone of a new email and opened up my email. I couldn't believe it. He had accepted!! He even sent me my first video to edit and his phone number so I could call him to talk about details and such. I fanboyed for a few minutes and then went to work.
****
I had just finished it and sent the edited version back to him. It was 12 Am here and 7:00 their so I plugged his number into my phone and shot him a text.
Fangy boi: umm hello?
Septiceye BOSS: Hey! Its Zane right?
Fangy Boi: yeah… so did I do well?
Septiceye BOSS: You did great editing!! I liked all the references you conveniently placed. Anyways I need to tell you something important.
Fangy Boi: What?
Septiceye BOSS: So something happened to Merk and he called me and asked me to come to the merica’s to help him out with it. Since you live in L.A and he
does as well I thought I could come and meet you if I have time.
Fangy Boi: RLLY!! Umm I will have to ask my flat- I mean roommate first but he will probably say yes.
Septiceye Boss: k.
I couldn't believe it. He was coming to LA!! I was fanboying a little more as DF slipped into my room. He looked like he just woke up. He walked over to me and laid his head on my shoulder as he blearily  read my texts. His ears were still curled and his pupils were blown quite wide from sleep. He made a rumbling sound from his chest and I found myself answering with my own.
“You work for Jacksepticeye?”
“Yeah…?”
“And you do realize that he wants us to meet him?”
“Yeah…?”
“You know we will have to make up an excuse for my ears and tail right?”
I pondered for a few seconds,“We could always buy you a hat to wear to hide them and you could tuck your tail into your shirt until you learn to control you shifting in and out of wolf.”
DF grin was so bright I felt like I could melt from it,“Zane you are a genius. OK he can come as long as you keep my ears hidden and you eat enough so that you do not try to suck him dry.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DF
I had been wondering about what problem THE Markiplier was having that required THE Jacksepticeye to come to america for. I also was proud of Zane for getting the editing job.
I kept cooing praise at him when we hang out. My instincts has quieted down ever since last week. I was happy that nothing awkward happened between us. I like Zane and I didnt want to hurt our friendship that way.
He has been recently using his new powers of speed that he discovered to get himself a blood supply. He refrained from killing and used his speed to steal blood bags from a hospital. I joke about his new mini blood drive fridge that he has now and he is always joking around about my wolf instincts.
He said that he is also able to withstand sunlight if he eats a certain mineral. It was funny to imagine him eating a jem like a dragon.
Zane and I were on the couch, me laying my head on his lap, when he received a text. It was Jack. As Zane read the text his expression became worried.
“What's wrong Zane?”
“Jack says that if I can I need to head over to Marks house as quick as I can. Even through text he seems anxious.”
I got up and went to go get my shoes on.
“Where are you going?!”
“Arnt we going to go see him?”
Recently my parents bought me a car for a present since I had been doing well in school and also doing well financially so I grabbed the keys, my license, and my wallet and headed down the stairs to the car. Before that I had put on a beanie that had a slightly pointed ears and had stuffed my tail into my pants. It was slightly uncomfortable but was tolerable.
As I drove through the L.A streets Zane gave me directions to Marks house. When we got there we saw Jack standing in the driveway. He was paler than usual and was in his huge PMA hoodie even though it was hot outside. In a weird way he sort of mirrored Zane, who wore clothes that covered his skin from the sun. As we got out of the car Jack waved and smiled tiredly.
“Hello Zane, I am guessing this young man to your left is DF?” Jack spoke quieter than he does in his videos and that made me slightly nervous.
I
n many of his videos he does say he is quieter in real life, but he said he still quite a bit louder then everyone else. I nodded at his question and stuck out my hand to give him a hand-shake. He returned it. On his arm under a bunch of bracelets I saw a bandage. He didn't seem to notice me staring as he shook Zanes hand.
“So Jack, what's wrong?” Zane inquired. “Your texts made it sound quite serious.”
Jack Nervously rubbed the arm that had the bandage on it.
“First come in. I don't feel like talking out here.”
Zane and I nodded and we entered the house. It was really dark and smelled like dog and something else that I couldn't place. With my werewolf sense of smell I finally identified it as the smell of blood. Zane could smell it to by the way he looked. In front of us I could here Jack taking deep breaths in and out and slightly huffing. We shared a confused look but continued following Jack all the way to what seemed like the living room.
The living room had really comfy couches and a big flat screen TV. Chica, Mark’s dog, bounded towards us to say hello. When she smelled me she barked and I saw her tail was wagging extra hard. Jack stared at me as I bent down and petted her soft fur. Chica licked my face and neck and nuzzled my shoulder. It sort of reminded me of how I acted earlier that week, Licking Zane, except it was much more quick and seemed more “hello friend!” like then how it was with Zane.
Zane chuckled as he watched me get attention from Chica and then asked again, “So what's up Jack? What's the problem?”
Jack sighed then said “So you may not believe this but, about a week ago Merk and I were walking home after going on a walk around LA when we got stopped by this man and what appeared to be his pet dog. He asked us if we could help him get directions to a certain location. As Merk and I were looking it up on his phone the guy grabbed me and sicked his dog on Merk. Then the guy bit me on the arm! I passed out from the pain and woke up here. At first I thought it was all a dream and went to the bathroom to look in the mirror. When I looked up my reflection was gone! I ran out of the room to find Merk. When I entered his room instead of finding Merk I found a WereWolf! That's when I realized Merk and I had been bitten by a WereWolf and I a Vampire,” He finished slowly and looked down, I am guessing to prepare for our rebuttals of disbelief.
Zane and I stood there in shock. They got turned as well! I looked at Zane and conveyed with my eyes should we tell him? Zane nodded.
I spoke up “Jack… about four weeks ago Zane and I got turned into vampire and werewolf ourselves.”
Jacks head shot up in disbelief.
“Re-ealy?!”
I nodded my head. And to give him proof I took off my hat and pulled my tail out of my pants. Chica barked excitedly and started bouncing around inviting me to play as she realized that I was finnally showing my full self. It seemed as though she branded me as her kin, and in a way, I technically am. Jack stared at my ears and tail in awe as they twitched.
Zane, with a weird expression on his face,  then asked “Where is Mark, Jack?”
Jack looked towards him and beckoned us to follow.
He led us down a hall with Chica in the lead.She had decided that She was going to lead, not Jack. She seemed to bounce with every step towards where Mark was, as if she were excited to show us her master and our new friend. Jack then stopped in front of what looked like a door to a bedroom. He quietly knocked on the door and after hearing a response, entered the room.
There in the middle of the room lying on the bed was a fully grown werewolf. Its fur was a chocolatey brown and had a reddish hue that only anyone with a supernatural sense of sight could see. Chica ran up to the bed and made a boofing sound. The werewolf looked up at chica and gave a pleased grumble as he licked here head in greeting. It then looked up at the others and cocked its head to the side in curiosity. I then stepped up and held out my hand. The Were first sniffed my hand and then shook it with its paw. The others gasped in surprise.
“Merk! I didn't know you were fully in there!”  Jack said in surprise. Mark looked up,  rolled his eyes at Jack, and went back to sniffing me.
“ Anyways,as you can see Mark is still a werewolf…”
I looked at mark in confusion.
“How?”
Mark didn't answer and seem busy trying to identify the others from a distance.
Jack decided to  answer for him.
“I think it was because his transformation took multiple hours. He was trying to fight it and did not try to except it. It must've affected his transformation.”
I frowned.
“That doesn't sound good. My transformation from what Zane said to 30 minutes. I guess accepting the transformation must make it go quickly.” I said. Mark was getting off the bed and when he stood up he towered the three of us. He looked a lot more friendly then Ross did as a werewolf, but instead of being an actual wolf like I was he was a bipedal combo of a wolf and human.
Jack furrowed his brows.
“So somehow accepting your wolf side allows you to change faster and not feel a lot of pain? But if accepting it only lets you be in your form for the short amount of time is it also a bad thing…?”
Jack trailed off a little and then turned to talk to Zane. Chica and Mark both were sniffing around and then they turned to each other and seemed to have a mental conversation. They both were staring at each other and occasionally Mark would nod his head or make a tiny noise. The two creatures seemed to have a connection that allows them to communicate on another level.  
I was pretending to watch Zane and Jack mull over the issue but I actually was watching them. Ever since I got here I have felt a subconscious pull towards them. My Were-Cub side seemed perk up a lot when I was around them. I have decided that I should title my other side my ‘Were-cub’ side since it was more of another conscience as well as new instincts that I have to adjust to.  It was weird  finally noticing that I had two sets of instincts. I had also been feeling quite warm as well as the fact I was more sensitive to scents. Everyone's scents in here were relaxing and calming, especially Zanes.
As I thought about it more I was pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of Mark and Chica barking quietly to get my attention. I noticed Marks bark was a lot deeper than Chicas and sounded like a really friendly, bigger, breed of dog instead of a wolf. I turned to see them motioning to follow them out of the room. My Were-cub side’s instinct made me even more curious to follow.
As I followed them to the living room I  giggled at what Chica was doing.
She seemed to be trying to look intimidating, growling and raising her lip over her teeth,  but her adorable nature made it look more like she was about to lick someone to death. Mark looked amused for the moment and then he crouched down and growled back. Chica then pounced on Mark and the play-fight began.
I noticed that Mark was very gentle, and when Chica pounced on him  he just rolled her off carefully. They then turned and started play fighting with me. I was slightly slower then they were, but I still put up a good “fight”. He and Chica would carefully jump on their opponents and to attack they just batted each other with either paws, Marks case, or their head, Chicas case. When we were done we collapsed into a big pile. I was smiling quite derp-like and my Were-cub side was filling me extreme happiness.
I guess in a way it was satisfied with the fact that I was willing to follow its instinct.
I also felt as if someone had place me on a fluffy cloud in the middle of the most peaceful place they could find. There was another emotion/feeling that I had but I couldn't identify it and even though I was slightly worried about it I was to out of it to care.
I did feel a bit warmer then before but I dismissed it again, especially since I just did something quite strenuous.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zane
Jack and I talked as we walked down the hall. He and I had been talking about what each of us learned and I found out that Jack had fed on Mark instead of looking for food. He then said that after that he felt to guilty and decided not to take anymore. I offered him some blood bags and he accepted them gratefully.
I was not paying attention  to where we were going and when Jack stopped I sort of ran into him. I then looked up to see what was up and stood there in shock.
There DF was, in the middle of the dog-pile, smiling like a four-year-old that had gotten his first dog. It was quite adorable to see him so happy and I felt my chest bloom with an emotion I couldn't exactly fully identify. It was a mix of joy and… affection but as well as something that made me want to fight anyone who tried to hurt him? I was confused but I did not stop the feeling. I felt in that moment I was two beings in that moment. One that was sane and just like me while the other a primal, savage,  beast.
After a moment I realized Jack was giggling and as Jack headed over to Mark and Chica, I headed over to DF.
“Hey~” DF said in a voice that seemed a bit deeper than normal.
I noticed that unlike the usual both blue eyes he normally had was replaced with the one bright whitish-yellow eye and one a deeper in color grey-blue.
I smiled and replied with “Hello to you to~” in the deepest voice I could make. For a second I thought DF’s pupils had grown  bigger at that,  but in the next second I found that he had pulled me to the ground next to him.
I snorted and started petting his head. His purr growl came back at this and he cuddled up to me. I am actually taller than DF by 6 inches so it made cuddling with him quite easy. Chica came over and boofed at me in a friendly way. She the licked my face once, making me scrunch up my nose, and walked away.
I heard Jack and, I think Mark, chuckle and I looked up.
There Jack and Mark stood, It appeared that Mark was grinning in a dog-ish way and Jack was giving a knowing smile. Mark was still in his full werewolf form and I saw that Jack stood quite close to him. Mark then started to come over to help us up. I felt an emotion well up in me and I acted upon it.
I hissed at them
It was not an innocent kitty-angry hiss it was a dangerous-animal-will-attack-you hiss. The sound startled
both of them and they stepped back a little.
I then stood up, carrying DF, and protectively  wrapped my arms around him as I then started to run. I was feeling that savage burn to protect that I didn't question what I was doing.
Mark and Jack called for me to stop but I as they did I felt the weird emotion take full control and the next thing I knew I was carrying DF to his bedroom and then nothing.
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DF
I felt pure bliss.
I felt like I was high on happiness, I felt so good. I felt dopey, puppy like, and safe in Zane’s arms.
I couldn't understand what was happening and it seemed like my comprehension skills went out the window. I felt myself be lifted off the ground and the next thing I knew, we were back home.
I felt myself lower onto a surface that I finally identified as my bed and I snuggled into its plush surface. I had my vision back so I looked towards Zane. I saw that his eyes were bright crimson instead of his normal brown.
I felt a weird bark well up in my throat and I released it. From what Zane says later it was a mix between a whimper and a sort of chirp in a way. Zane also told me about how he couldn't seem to remember actually hearing it.  Zanes head whipped to me and he walked towards me. He did not say anything but he started to pet my head again. As he did so I fell into the clutches of slumber.
****
I woke up to find myself wrapped in Zanes arms and licking his neck again. I groaned and sat up.
I looked over to Zane to find that his appearance had changed. His hair was slightly longer,  and I could see that black had been mixed with the reds of his hair. His nails were longer as well as sharper. The biggest change was the fact that he had leathery bat wings that stretched out and draped over the bed. I noticed that one of the wings was covering me like a blanket and I stroked it. The wing was soft and felt quite thick. I still felt out of it and the Were-cub instincts were still running strong so I leaned back into the bed and snuggled into the wing.
I couldn't understand what happened.
I had been feeling weird ever since the play fight with Chica and Mark and when Zane picked me up it was if I got dunked in pure happiness. But imagine if that pure happiness, after the fact, feels fake and creepy instead of normal and nice.
I was overwhelmed with fear in that moment and a whimper escaped my throat. It sounded like a wounded animal and I felt my Were-cub sides influence so strongly right now that it hurt.
Zane stirred and then, with what was probably, great difficulty on his part, turned to face me. His eyes were a bright crimson and his gaze felt more animalistic then human. He lifted his hand and brushed a piece of my hair out of my face as he made a weird cooing noise.
I felt relief wash over me and then I found myself cuddled up into Zanes side, and I nuzzled the flesh that was in front of my face. As I did so, I could smell a nice aroma come from him. It was calming and made me feel like he could protect me from anything. Feeling  my Were-cubs conscious meld with my own calmed me even more and my mind was filled with only one thought.
Mate.
I fell asleep with that thought strong in my mind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zane
I woke up to DF rubbing himself up against me.
I was slightly groggy since I had just woken up but I still was awake enough to realize two things.
One, DF was extremely sweaty and that sweat left sticky feeling against me.
And two, he was mumbling the word mate in his sleep.
I then noticed that he was wrapped up in bat wings. I went to scramble away when I realized that they were mine. I stared in shock. The bat wings twitched with the shaking of my body and that's when I noticed that the tiny fur on them swirled in a pattern. Brown,black, and grey swirled together to make the most beautiful wings you could ever see.
As I shook myself out of my trance I transfered my sight to DF. He was nuzzling his sweaty body up to mine and I noticed that he kept nipping at air. It was then that I  was hit with a powerful scent.
It was beautiful in a way. The smell of cherry blossoms and smoke assaulted My nose. I was quite surprised that two drastically different scents could come together to smell so divine.
I knew in that moment what DF was….
My Mate.
And I knew what I had to do now…
Take care of my Mate.
****
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mairzymarzipan · 5 years
Text
Night of the Full Moon Character Reviews: The Big Bosses(Minus Werewolf)
Hello again
I know I said I’d be talking about the Hunter, Old Mage, Fallen Priest and so on today, but I realized that those characters were actually more interesting in the context of other characters, so I put them off for later.  I decided instead to talk about the main bosses of the game, as it so happens, are the closest people to Red Riding Hood.  Because this game wants to be an ironicy soap opera/anime that way.
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When I say Big Bosses, I mean that you always fight one of these characters at the end of the game.  Unless you’re like me and you start all over at the end because you’re bored and tired of all four of them playwise.
Werewolf
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Wait, no, never mind.  This is another one of those characters who’s more interesting in the context of different, non-Red Riding Hood Characters.  We’re saving this boi for later.  But, you shouldn’t too surprised, if you read the title.  Instead, I’ll just use this space to talk about a mechanic.
Throughout the game, you can get ‘courage’ and ‘reputation’ points by talking to characters.  Very very generally speaking, you get courage points by doing brave things, and you get reputation points for doing nice things.  You also can get courage points when a character talks shit about the werewolf, and reputation points when a character talks shit about the witch.  So naturally, if you have more courage in the end, you get to fight the wolf, and if you have more reputation, you get to fight the witch.  I guess what they’re going for is only a meanie would fight this doggo?  And the witch is who any empathetic person would hate???
I feel like the latter is not the case, but more on that later.
Witch
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“Only your Hope family can lift the dark magic curse.  This is what the priest is most afraid of.  That’s why monsters run wild on full moon nights. First they made your grandmother disappear and then they drew you into the forest...but they never anticipated that you would make it this far.”
By the way, you’re part of a prophecy.  Only someone in your family can lift the curse on the forest.  jsyk
Yeah so, as you see, the Witch’s description does not really tell us much about the witch herself.  This description also pretty unique in that none of the other character descriptions go into the second person like this.  The description also kind of hints that Red dies in the timeline where she fights the witch, so that’s depressing.
Nah, to figure out what the witch is about, you have to delve into the fragments around her. 
So, you actually do encounter the witch earlier in the game.  In the third or sometimes second chapter, she will recruit to find some magic apples she lost.  She makes a mention about suspecting a queen of stealing them.  The apples, I guess, are just lying around on the forest floor, and you bite into each of them bc you’re a dumb lkid.  Each apple changes your stats by a few points and the witch does not at all seem upset that you hand her a bunch of bitten fruit at the end.  In fact, she offers you the choice of two random buffs, so that’s fun.
You’re likely to hear about her way before that, though, depending on who you talk to.  Generally anyone who’s been cursed feels like it’s the witch’s fault.  
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But if you choose to fight her(or you might not get a choice in the matter) she accuses you of stealing said apples.  She’ll also talk to you throughout the battle until you defeat her- a trait that only the big bosses and a few of the newer ones have.  Her lines...make her sound pretty unhinged.  She’s speaks of disbelief that you would do such a horrible thing, and threatens you with with her magic, and talks about how misunderstood she is.
When you defeat her, she’s got a really interesting line, tho.
“No!  I don’t want to fight you!  I can’t!”
Huh.
Before I move on, let me talk about this other witch character.
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Yep.  That sure is the art style this game is going with.
So this is one of the shopkeepers.  There are four different shops you can find along the way, only two of which have characters you can see in them.  This character is known as the Witch Apothecary...but you can only see that on the outside of her store.  Otherwise she’s just called “Witch”.
The thing is, along the way, characters will talk about the Witch and, they don’t specify that it’s not the one with the white hair.  They just talk about The Witch like she’s the only witch that matters.  So is this woman not really a witch?  A witch wannabe?  Nah, we already have one of those characters.  Could it me that the shopkeepers don’t actually exist in the story of the game?  That would bum me out, bc there’s this lesbian owl I want to be real.
But...I think they’re the same person using shapeshifting.  Or if you want a really wild theory, maybe there are time travel hijinks and she’s the Magic Apprentice grown up.  But I’m going to go ahead with the former.
Anyhoo.  I like the witch.  I’m gonna give her 🍎🍎🍎🍎 four apples
Priest
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“They mistakenly thought that on the full moon night they could help the monsters quietly eliminate Little Red Riding Hood and her grandmother.  Once the Hope family was wiped out, the legend of lifting the curse on the Dark Forest would disappear completely.  However, they didn’t expect they would have to go personally and pay such a high price to fight their enemy. When the priest fell, the cursed monsters reverted to their human forms and the Dark Forest was no longer covered by snow all year round, but the church’s blind greed still remains.”
Again, not much is said about the priest himself.  The most interesting thing here is that he apparently is the keystone holding the curse together.  Interesting, because he seems to be letting the witch do all the work for him.  Usually in these stories, you have to kill the person who casts the spell to break the spell, not just their friend.  Is it because he, himself, is a stone?  That is to say, he turns into a statue sometimes.
Why the heck is he having her turn all his enemies into cartoon monsters instead of killing them, anyway?  Don’t tell it’s to make the game family friendly, bc in one of these timelines a child kills another child.  
Honestly, the priest/church just doesn’t make a lot of sense to me.  His big plan is selling everybody from his town as slaves.  Gross.  And the way he accomplishes this is by...making it snow all the time, and turning people into vampires and fire bears?  What?
He is.  A delight to fight.  I’m being sarcastic.  He’s a religious edgelord who likes to go on about how humans are sinners and everyone deserves to be punished.  Also she cheats by turning into stone.  Eh.  
It feels like someone just spun a wheel for of evil traits and just stuck them together haphazardly.  His evil plan is...human trafficking!  His personality is...self righteous!  His means is...tf!  His super power is...turning into a statue!  
He’s the biggest of bads but also not that thought out.  He’s super important to the over-arching plot and yet I have no idea why this guy does what he does.  I’m gonna give him 🗽🗽 two statues.
Mystery Men
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idek why this person is called “Mystery Men”.  I’m guessing it’s supposed to be mystery man?  Or mysterious person or something?  I know I haven’t talked about the art much but, I do appreciate how much their face looks like a dog snout and her hood looks like dog ears.  It’s a neat touch.
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This description was actually changed.  The new text is longer and more awkwardly worded.  I don’t like it!  And I don’t get why it happened.
But, yeah.  The very last enemy of the game- who you can only reach by playing through at least four times and defeating all three others- is your Grandmother!  Le gasp!
So what exactly went wrong with her?  Oh, nothing, she just has a big wolf growing out of her back(told you the concept was backed up by canon)
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Is this her daemon or patronus or something?  I have no idea.  I’ve been calling her a werewolf sometimes, tho, bc she’s better at being a werewolf than the titular werewolf.  Which is to say she can revive instead of just healing.  Her buffs and deck change throughout the fight.  She’s a long battle, fun, except for her ear piercing voice.  She sounds a bit possessed.
I’ll give her 👁️👁️👁️ three big eyes.  She’s a fun battle, but I always mute it.  Also not real big on how the text got changed for the worse.  But she does add some good details to the story.
In Conclusion... 
Grandma’s text tells us a few things.  
1. Not only is the Hope family connected to this prophecy, but family members actually have the power to control the curse.  That leads me to believe that the person who got the curse started was a Hope themself.  
2. The church came along long after the curse was in full swing.  So the priest is not responsible for it.  Whether he’s a Hope himself is not relevant.
We also know these things:
1. The witch is still the one casting all the tf spells, which is part of the curse.
2. There are two timelines were Red has a natural gift for magic
3. In the Little Witch timeline, the Witch is teaching Red magic.  On top of that she’s v patient, which is surprising, for some reason.
4. The Witch seems a little out of touch with reality.  She sends you to find apples, and then yells at you for stealing them.  Almost like she thinks you’re another person.
5. The witch verbally expresses her desire not to fight you when she realizes who you are.
I have to conclude that the Witch is a Hope.  A Hope who’s close enough to have a fondness for Little Red Riding Hood, and is invested in her well being/education.  And yanno, is turns her enemies into pig people because she can.  
She helps you on your quest by giving you one of her own.  But earlier on, she takes on the form of the other witch offer you potions and the like.  She even gives you the first one in each chapter for free.
“My potions can change your appearance!”
Of course she can’t get too close to you.  She can’t reveal that she’s helping you.  Hence putting on a new face when she’s a ‘good’ witch.  One wonders if she’s trying to hide her identity from you, or the people she’s allied with.
Hey can we look at her description again?
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Red doesn’t get addressed in the second person in any of the other descriptions.  There is a character who talks about his life in the first person, and we’ll get to him.  But this is odd to me.
What if Red isn’t being addressed here?  What if it’s someone else?  What if it’s the Witch?
What if the Witch was captured and ensnared in the priest’s plot?  What if he messed with her memory?  So then who is she?  Red’s sister?  It seems like she’s been working with the church a lot longer than Grandma’s been missing.  Also Grandma went into the woods on her own accord.  You could say that the grief the church caused her *made* her go out, but it seems weak.
So maybe a Hope in another generation, who lost her grandmother to- either the church or monsters?  Was it this other Grandmother who *started* the curse?
Dude, what if she’s your Mom?
What if instead of killing her the priest did...something...scared her enough to get her to work for him.  And messed with her memory so she couldn’t conceive a way out?  And sort of had her transfer the power of the curse to him so that people had to kill him to break it?
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What if he had the Church Doctor scoop her brain out and put it in another lady’s head?  Who knows.
I’m not certain about the witch being your mom.  I think I would like that to be the case because it’s fun, but I’m not quite convinced yet.  I AM certain, tho, that the Witch is a Hope, and she cares about you.  She’s not just this cackling meanie turning people into flowers.  She’s...complicated.  And she needs help just as much as all the trapped monsters.
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strawberryspeachy · 3 years
Text
Man. I really am a cat person I guess
My last cat died almost a year ago... but i didnt even get to be with her. She was young and i left her with my best friend when I moved to Japan. She had seizures...
I really miss her
I miss all my babies
But im feeling serious pet withdrawl. I have NEVER been without pets for this long in my LIFE. I grew up on a farm. I only went to college for like 3 months or less at a time and got to go home and see my babies
I want a kitten SO BAD - ive always thought that when I get my own clean place that I wont get animals because I always wanted to be able to keep a place clean and not having cat hair alllllll overrrrr alllllll my clothes was nice in college
But I NEED A CAT. I NEEDDDDDD TO FEEL THE PURRING. I NEED KITTY KISSES AND CUDDLES AND THEIR LITTLE mew mews
I feel starved for real
So many of my cats have passed and I know any future cats will before me as well
But i still want them
Dogs though
I fucking ADORED my dog
I begged my mom for my own puppy for YEARS before Kiki was sent to me from the universe basically. Her moms owners husband threatened to kill her and her siblings if they werent gotten rid of. So my family took them at about a month old - just old enough that they could survive without their mother
There were 6-7 of them. And they were all normal puppies except for my Kiki! She was always staring at them like they were annoying and preferred to sit in the back of their pen away from their jumping. When they came out to eat and play, shed find a quiet spot to eat and then go hide under the couch (it was funny cause they all moved too much and my mom and i couldnt count them when we put them away because they kept moving. So wed just assume we got them all - then a couple hours later Kiki would emerge from under the couch yawning and wed be like oh! There was another puppy!)
I remember debating between a couple of the puppies when my mom hinted that I could keep one. But ultimately I chose my Kiki. I didnt even have a particular reason why - I was about 7 and I remember imagining how if I chose one of her siblings I’d finally have one of those movie dogs. I did of course like that she was the runt - but there was something else about her
As I grew up and became more isolated and miserable myself (not to say Kiki was miserable by any standard. But she was a very picky dog with an animated face) we just matched
Kiki honestly got happier after all her siblings were adopted out. We played all the time when she was a puppy. And as I got older, I didnt want to go roll around in the snow or go for long as hikes. And while that would upset most dogs - honestly Kiki seemed content to be let be. Like she seemed to have age the same as me and we were both like - dude. Im glad you dont wanna play all day long - i need my me time. (And by me time i mean we were both happy to just exist in the same room together)
Wed both get random spurts of energy and play for an hour or so instigated by the other
There was this mac and cheese I ate and never finished and I would give the leftovers to her - there came a time that when she smelled it she KNEW and the second i looked like I was done her head would shoot up - she was ready
Sometimes my mom would eat half and Kiki would look at her like - the fuck?!
And my mom would tell her sorry i know this is yours
She was the best fucking dog. My best friend. We understood each other. We loved each other.
It still makes me cry having to remember her finaly days. She got cancer. I had to put her down. She was almost 13 - which is young :(
And I still cant bear the idea of getting anther dog.
My cat was 18 when she passed. She lived in my room for reasons. And I had the same relationship with Star. I miss her so dearly and no cat could replicate or minimize those feelings
But i still want cats
But.... not a dog.... and I think it’s because. And I always knew it
Kiki was so different from other dogs. We matched personalities - but because Kikis personality was closer to that of a cats than a dogs.
I never look for an animal that reminds me of one from the past. It sounds too cruel first off. And meeting new personalities is wonderful. Im still kinda sad that I couldnt adopt a cat from a store who wanted to play fetch in her cage and who i fell in love with right there and then. I hope she found a good home 😭
But most dog personalites dont mesh with me. I like them. I wanna play with and visit them. But i dont wanna own them.
My best friend who basically lives in a zoo felt the same way about her first dog. I kinda think maybe its because we just connected with our dogs as children and while they were puppies. Connected intially because we were similar and then as we grew together - our dogs - understanding that we too were children - took care of us. Like a reciprical parent child relationship and so we grew up with dogs who took on our ways of interacting. They understood that regardless of what was going on - we had unconditional love for them which stopped that dog urge of - constantly trying to prove to you that theyre worthy of your love. And they know you - for example. Kiki still did bad things sometimes - but she’d avoid things that she knew really bothered me. Maybe shed decide to chew something up, eat something she shouldnt, or poop where she shouldnt —— well in her case - shed purposely target things that didnt belong to me. Or poop in a spot where i didnt usually walk
My family would get mad at me about it - why whenever your dog misbehaves, its never YOUR STUFF ?! Cause she knows its my stuff
Yeah. Just. I miss my pets. My dog was perfect. And i want a cuddily kitty purring next to me right now
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dahyeri · 6 years
Text
I don’t know why the sunset seems so scary to me right now
I keep looking out of my window and looking at the sun and feeling angry at it. I think it’s because when the sun sets, I know that that’s just another day gone by and time still moves like nothing ever happened... it moves and things become more final
I can’t say i’m surprised about how much this has affected me. I used to be one of those people that when a celebrity died i couldn’t empathise with the people that had followed them closely, were their ‘biggest fans’ and what not. I’d always think “It’s sad..... but how can someone feel that distraught over someone they don’t even know?” 
But Jonghyun meant a lot to me. Not in the way that he would to people who know him, I’m obviously no comparison, but people touch our lives in so many different ways and he really touched mine. My life for the past 5 years has been full of lots of ups and downs, and even in the worst times I was able to look to shinee and jonghyun for solace. I also felt a lot of pride for the work he did, he always put so much effort and love and devotion and dedication and heart into everything he did and music meant so much to him and you could just feel it everytime you listened to his songs, and i would always take that feeling with me and use it to make me feel better.
I guess it breaks my heart to think he thought leaving this way was the only option. And sometimes when i’m crying i feel selfish in that theres real people that knew him and who were in his life that are grieving right now and i’m just a stupid girl sobbing in my room somewhere and he’ll never know who i am. I’m not surprised by the fact that i’m upset over this, I’m more surprised about the....feeling? I never expected something like this to hit me so hard. And it’s difficult when you feel its unjustified, you have such a horrible heartbroken feeling, you can’t sleep, you can’t eat, you constantly cry and everything makes you angry just by the sight of it existing, but then what use is it? I actually have a take home exam i’m supposed to be doing right now. I’m in the middle of finals but I just can’t function properly but of course he was never a family member, or a friend to me so I have to be expected to just move through it because i have no excuse. But he really felt like a friend. I remember looking through my posts today and finding a photo of him from maybe a couple of years ago, and one of my tags said ‘he looks like he could give me a really nice really warm hug’ and i believe it.  He alwayed inspired he every time he spoke, i would always read quotes from blue night and be shocked by just how eloquent and thoughtful is in everything he says. He gave so much love to the people around hime, even to those he didn’t know well, but i can’t stop thinking about how he couldn’t afford himself the same privilege  tw suicide/death
and everytime i think of him i cant help but think about how lonely he must have been at that moment. Sometimes its just one simple spur of the moment thought that makes people do it and then they’re thankful someone came and saved them in the knick of time and then they live long, good lives and it just makes me sad and angry that this didnt happen to him that he stood there in that moment and whether he was afraid or not he still went through with it and i cant even image how painful it must have been... and even the hours and days and weeks leading up until that moment, was he ever happy? sometimes there are things in life that can be that spark to make you keep going, and i see so many of those things in his life but obviously the pain was too great.  i guess the sunset makes me angry because i know it means he’s just getting colder and there won’t be any warmth in that body anymore and whether you believe in heaven or a second life or anything of that kind i feel like it doesnt matter because of how final it all is. 
And there’s a certain kind of..dissonance to all that i see of him and what he did. I’ve watched funny videos of him to make myself feel better, to see him happy and laughing and making others laugh but then as soon as it ends i am struck with the though of him killing himself and i can’t stop shaking. such a beautiful person shouldn’t ever be related to such horrific acts this never should have happened to him
i find it harder when someone you hear the voice of everyday, see so many times is the one to go, because their presence is so normal and you feel like you’ve taken advantage of it. i feel like i’ve taken advantage of it. I’m not really a mourning person, death hasn’t really touched my life and when my grandma died i didnt cry. i guess i was really young and couldn’t quite understand death at that time, but now with jonghyun the years of my life that i spent knowing him were some of the hardest, and losing him has ben like losing some of the ground underneath that i stand on and i can’t pick myself up I still can’t believe it. I’m the kind of person that actively seeks out information on these things, it seems self destructive but i would rather look at things on my own terms than be caught off guard by a stray facebook post i never wanted to see.  And there’s so many regrets i have and so many thoughts that i can’t stop thinking about at the same time. I keep thinking about how much pain he must have been in at that moment, i think of his sister and how much she has to carry with her now for the rest of her life, i think about the possibility of how if they had just been that bit faster maybe he’d still be here, i keep thinking about shinee and when they must have last saw jonghyun, what did they say? was it something they regretted?, how they’ll make it through the next days, months, years, i think of his mother and everything she must be feeling. I just have so many thoughts and each one is worse than the next but then i think about my role in it all and i cant help it. I think about how i was studying while he killed himself, how i had a slight headache when they found him, how i was probably laughing at a joke somewhere across the city while this was all happening. I wonder why i dismissed going to his concert when i had the chance, “nah, i’ll wait till the full shinee concert” and think did i take him for granted? i loved him, but did i love him enough?  And to say you ‘love’ someone in this context is so strange, because theyre not directly part of youre life and yet you feel so close to them. For a long time i loved how he helped me when i needed it, i loved how funny he was in his dopey silly way, i loved his voice and the emotion that flowed through it, i loved his smile that i thought “i want to see this, up close someday”, i love how incredibly intelligent he was and i always thought i’d found someone i could look up to and strive to be like. I loved the love he gave to others, including myself, but i feel selfish for taking everything he had to give and leaving him empty. I didn’t want to write this in past tense, but i guess i had to. Seeing things like death date on his profile makes everything so surreal. I think “but, this can’t happen to him, it’s jonghyun” or “there must be some mistake”. I look at the words “died” over and over and over again until i cry and cry and then i look away only to look back again and do the same. It still doesn’t feel real, it feels real and yet it doesn’t I want to be positive like other people have, and say that i’m happy for the time that he was in my life. But i can’t help but think of what he was going through at this time. It feels like i had years and years to do something, anything, but i know this what out of my hands which makes me feel worse and helpless. I really am not the kind of person to write things like this at all. Again, i never understood why people did this when celebrities died but now i know. i know too well. My heart aches in ways i never thought it would and even with how much i’ve said it doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of what i’m feeling.  I also hate being here, its the first time that i’ve truly hated being in seoul. I didnt want to go outside because all i could see is the snow that came down yesterday and it reminded me of him, i don’t want to see people going on with their lives, i don’t want to see the daily routine of things and time passing by. I feel like i can just shut myself in my room and grieve in my own space because thats the only way i know how to cope. But when i look out my window, and i see the road near my house, and i know that if i followed that road, if i just kept following it and all of it twists and different streets then i know i would end up where he is, where they all are, and i just which i wasnt constantly aware of its existence.  Some part of me wants to go there, to just stand outside so theres some kind of finality and closure but i don’t know if that would make it worse. i dont know what will make it better. i dont know what ‘it’ is but whatever it is it hurts.  This is a kind of shock i’ve never experienced, and i’m trying hard to validate my feelings. i’m trying to take care of myself but who knew that would be so difficult too? I guess my main feelings right now are anger and fear. Anger for the pain he was in all these years, anger for what he felt he had to do to himself, anger at everyone and everything, rational or irrational i am just angry. And i fear what comes next. I’m scared of all the things people have to say, i’m scared of the funeral to come, i’m scared of turning the tv on and seeing the news and becoming acutely aware of the reality of it all, i’m scared about what lives will be like after this, i’m scared of my own feelings and how to cope with them.  Obviously things get better with time, but not for everyone. I admit i’m a sensitive person, i often think and cry about the day my dog will die because of how old he is and how much he means to me. So i wonder now that i will be part of the unfortunate category of people that never recover from these things. and you might think “i know you’re hurting right now, and that’s why you feel this way. but give it time and you’ll look back at yourself and just feel sad that you felt this way”. But i know myself, and i know my feelings. I know how things affect me, and i felt this, and still feel it, so deep inside myself that i don’t think it will go away anytime soon.  I wonder when i will stop crying, or i at least wonder when i will be able to function properly. I’m aware that i could fall back into mild depression, i’m at a dangerous point where this incident is combined with the fact that i have most of my major exams and i can’t fail them but with what im feeling i havent been able to do anything and i just feel like i cant muster enough of my energy to care. How have i preoccupied the entire 10 or so hours ive been awake with nothing but thought of him? with nothing but tears for him? It’s sadder now knowing when these things happened, when i was on the brink or at my lowest i always turned to him, and to shinee. i guess its ironic now.  This is so dumb and emotional but i just want to scream!!! and cry and weep and sob and i have to get it out otherwise it just hurts too much. The words ‘hurt’ and ‘pain’ i’ve used too much i know but until i have better words to describe what i’m feeling, what has happened, then i’ll be using them
Remember 1of1? it feels kind of cruel now to think they went off a concept based solely on them being a whole unified unit of 5. 
5.
5. 
Is it karma? to think that while jonghyun was suffering, and i was taking his voice and his music and his thoughts and feelings with me and using them for my own gains, that the only thing i was ever thinking was “i hope shinee never disbands. I don’t know what i’d do without them. i’m so so scared of that day, what would i do after that?”. It seems so small now. I was scared of how i would feel when they parted ways but still lives long happy lives, so now my feelings are so beyond that that im struggling to conceptualise them. It’s difficult for people with mental health issues. We invest our feelings in things that we think will help us through hard times, and even as i think about it i dont think there was anything else that i invested my feelings in. it was always shinee. Theres a certain kind of joy you feel when you engage with things that comfort you thats unlike anything else, its like a big sigh or exhale of breathe and a feeling that you can just forget about everything and just be in the moment with them. Jonghyun always made me feel that way, no matter what.
I’m still trying to express the magnitude of what i feel right now but i can’t..... i would probably type for hours but it still won’t cut it. I see pictures of his face and i have mixed reactions because i know hes gone but i feel like he isnt. I see his pictures everyday, so how is today any different? my brain can’t comprehend the difference and i’m scared about what will happen when it does. 
But i won’t feel stupid anymore for how i’m feeling. It’s justified, and its justified for everyone else. I just wish other people could see that so i didnt feel so alone
I don’t want to say goodbye. Even typing that i feel silly, but i just wish he knew how loved he was. I want to pick myself up and imagine him in a better place somehow but its hard. I want to look at the sunset again and not find it so incredibly terrifying, i want to walk outside again and not have to think about how you’ll never have the feeling of the cold on your fingers when the wind gets too strong, or how you’ll never see the snow fall again and settle on the trees, or how you’ll never see that sunset and think “what a good day it was to live”. Why is it so unfair that i have to see these things and know you never will again.
I loved him so much, i love him so much. and i’m so so so sorry for absolutely everything. i’m so incredibly sorry. I hope you feel better now and know so many people love you, i love you i love you You did well.
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lettersfromitaly · 6 years
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10/14/17-10/27/17
so many days to go over and I don’t even remember half of them.
So saturday i went to this museum that was super boring and over priced. There was literally one room and i also found out after i went that i was going there with my class on tuesday rip. But under the museum was a special traveling exhibit that held works from Hokusai and his students. Seeing Japanese art was just a really nice break from all the old renaissance art I had been seeing. There were a lot of people there because it was opening weekend but i got to skip the line because i bought my ticket somewhere else. After that I went back to school and made dinner with a few friends. 
monday was a really boring day. All i did was go to class and do some homework 
tuesday I went to class at the museum i went to on saturday. i got my exam back and i did well on it. During that class we went to the Pantheon as well. I couldn’t go to dinner that night because I had the night shift so i stayed in and made dinner by myself. 
On wednesday i had class then i feel like i did something after that but i can’t remember but i did FaceTime Brittany and Luna.
Thursday i went to St. Peter’s Basilica and had class there. It is a really amazing place to be in and everything was so pretty. Also normally my religion class is on campus but that day was at a church which we tour then we went to dinner with our professor which was weird but also nice. I got an omelet and fries lol.
Friday i had to get up at 7 to leave for this Eat Love Pray excursion. We went to the region Umbria. There were only 20 of us who went. On friday we hunted fro truffles through the forest with this old and his dog. It was really fun and cute. Then we went to his house where his wife and friends made us lunch and it had like four course and every single on had truffles in it. And let me tell you i was very grateful for it but i freaking hate truffles RIP. It was a real struggle but i ate everything. Then drive for about an hour and got to this woman’s bed and breakfast where we stayed. It was on this giant hill and i almost died on the drive up. We stayed in mini apartments with four people to an apartment. It was just really relaxing and peaceful. That night the woman did a cooking class for us and it was lot of fun. We got to cook everything we ate. Also she has two dogs and couple cats and they are all adorable. Then six of us in the group played cards until like 1 in the morning. 
Saturday we got to sleep in until lunch which was at 12. And of course my roommates had to wake me up at 1130 so we wouldnt be late. They were all surprised I could sleep that long i dont know why people underestimate my sleeping abilities. Then the woman made us all lunch which was pasta and salad. Then we left for the chocolate festival which was about 30 minutes away. There was SO much chocolate because we were able to get free samples. There were so many people there too and there was this giant piano made out of chocolate. We were there for like 5 hours which is way too long lol. Then we went to this restaurant which was probably my least favorite restaurant we have been to so far. The food wasn’t that great and the people who i was sitting next to were really trying my nerves. Then we got back to the bed and breakfast and played more cards.
Sunday we had to get up early to leave for Assisi. It was really cold and rainy that day and we were on a hill so the wind was blowing hard so it was a bit of struggle to pay attention during our tour but the city/town/lol i don’t know but was so cute and really unnecessarily hilly. We went to mass at St. Francis Basilica where we had our own room and the priests who went on this trip with us gave the mass. Then we just wondered around Assisi. We got lunch and gelato and gossiped lol. Then on our bus ride back i noticed we were moving really slow. And we found out that they told our chaperones that the bus was broken the moment we got on the bus but all their buses were booked so we would have to use the broken bus. But in the last hour of our trip we got on a new bus at a rest stop. When we got back to school i did some homework then went to bed. 
Monday I think all i did was go to class and do homework. I got a midterm back that i also did well on. 
Tuesday was just a MESSSS. First i had work in the morning so that was just startling and boring. We had a class off campus that day and we ended up being 45 minutes to class because i was stupid and listened to people who had no idea where they were going. I listened to them because they said they knew where they were going and i figured it was better to stay in a group. But eventually i ended up calling the professor to figure out where she was and then people started to argue with me about if we were waiting for her in the right place. I WAS SO DONE. It was definitely one of the worst days so far. But for the end of class we went inside the Colosseum and the sun was setting so everything was so pretty. Then we went out to dinner that night. 
Wednesday wasn’t the best day either. Our italian partners came to visit and it was really frustrating because we have to do this project with them but only my school’s students were given the worksheet and directions so everything was in English and none of partners did any work at all. They were on their phones the whole time. Even the other girl in my group from my school randomly stopped doing work and i was just so ready to fight someone it was awful. But then they left and my friend dragged me out of my room and we went shopping together. I was really happy she did that because its a nice reminder that we are living in ROME and i just can’t let people like that ruin part of my time here. Then that night i ate dinner and played cards. 
Thursday wasn’t better either lol. It really wasn’t my week. I had been studying and practicing this presentation i had to give on Thursday since Sunday. Like I was so ready for it but also nervous because the class it was for is really hard and i needed all the good grades i could get. So our class that day was at the Vatican Museums and my professor changed the time of the class from 830 to 800 which mean that i had to get up in the five o'clock hour in order to be there on time. We get there and my professor is talking about what we are specifically doing during that class but she doesnt mention anything about going to the building where my painting is in so I’m getting a little nervous but i try not to make it a big deal. Eventually after our break we made our way to that building and long story short everyone gets to do their presentation but me because we were already a half an hour over class time and apparently staying for 7 extra minutes wasn’t an option. I was really upset and honestly I’m still upset because i will have to do it next week when i already have another presentation to do that same day. We got back to campus had lunch and went to class. It was boring we watched a movie. Then my friends and i sprinted to dinner after class because i had to work the night shift. I tried to go to dinner once before when i had to work the night shift and i ended up being late for work so trying to go to dinner is always a gamble. But it was an awful day and i just wanted some decent food so I decided to go with them. I ended up having to come back to school by myself because everyone was still eating but i made it back in time. A few of my friends came down to my desk and we talked and made the time pass a little quicker. 
Friday i didnt do anything because ALL transportation within in the city was shut down so i just stayed in with some friends. I watched netflix and played cards. Then we made dinner together. 
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clonerightsagenda · 7 years
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A Jade post? In 2017?
I could write this post in my sleep because I’ve written 40 just like it, but I keep seeing posts about lack of Jade meta, so I guess I was a little ahead of my time and must now answer the call. If you’ve been following me for a while, you might as well keep scrolling. You’ve seen this all before in increasing tones of despair.
For everyone else, this aims to be a general overview of Jade Harley’s character, back when she was allowed to have one, looking at her issues and development. I’ll condense it a fair bit because none of us want to be here all evening, but feel free to ask me to expand on anything. I used to do this all the time.
Childhood
So let’s start at the very beginning. Jade’s home situation is revealed in pieces. Much like Dave’s, it’s played as less serious early on, with the ramifications and its impact on her personality not fully explored until later. (Jade never gets a big speech on the topic, so I fear it still went over some heads.) Over time, however, we learn that Jade has grown up alone save for a powerful dog, after her grandfather died... and she stuffed his corpse. (yuck.) She has had to fend for herself from a young age, plagued by occasional bouts of Vriska-induced narcolepsy to boot.
This has made her tough and self-sufficient. She’s one of the more capable and efficient Betas, shown when she takes charge near the tail end of their session. However, she takes it a bit far. When you’re a kid alone, no one is going to take care of you. You don’t have the luxury of hoping someone else will handle a problem, or getting bogged down in sadness or doubt. Jade takes this to the extreme of never allowing herself to express negative emotions. That’s not productive. That won’t get anything done. She’s happy happy happy all the time!!! (At least to her friends. More on that later.) 
She projects this onto her grandfather as well. Loneliness takes a toll. When Jade “encounters” her grandfather, she imagines him chastising her and has an argument with him, eventually concluding “he was much easier to deal with when he was alive”. Jade has placed a lot of her weighty expectations for herself on her grandfather, and she pretends he’s talking back to deal with her isolation. Additionally, she doesn’t know about Tavros’s interference, so as she grows older, she assumes Grandpa Harley killed himself, abandoning her to her fate. When she does learn about what happened, she blames herself. More on that later. 
Her constant cheer is particularly concerning when we consider one last detail that people also seem to forget a lot. Jade grows up knowing she’s going to die. She’s seen her own stuffed dream self, and while it may not be time stamped, she’d be able to gauge by her own height roughly how much time she has left. By the time the story starts, she knows she’s almost out. And when Tavros mentions that his dream self died in their conversation pre-Descend, she’s surprised. She didn’t know they could die. This means she didn’t think ‘oh, my dream self will die but it’ll be ok’. She thought she was going to die, full stop. But she kept up the cheerleader routine anyway.
Friendships
That segues into Jade’s personal relationships.  As I mentioned earlier, Jade refuses to express negative emotions. This is similar to John, but I’d argue John is less aware of what he’s doing. Jade knows all that dark stuff is there; she just keeps pushing it down. Instead, she acts as team cheerleader, encouraging all her other friends as they start playing the game. She tells John he can save the world, encourages Rose, and flatters Dave. Rose is the only one who pushes back a little - her comment about Jade being tough for surviving on her island suggests she might have grasped a little about her situation, and she probes a little - but Jade doesn’t give much away. John vacillates between being surprisingly perceptive and super not, and Dave tends to be absorbed in his own problems. Jade successfully keeps most of her life a secret. No one knows her grandfather is dead or that she’s alone. No one knows she’s going to die.
The person she’s most direct with, ironically, is Karkat. He hears her angry or upset, mostly because he’s not her friend. She doesn’t care what he thinks. It also seems likely, though, that she lost patience with him a long time ago. After all, from her perspective he’s been trolling them for a while, and her dismay the first time he contacts her suggests that he got on her last nerve a while back. (She gets her revenge later, showing that she doesn’t forgive him as fully as she claims during their session.) Still, it’s kind of tragic that she’s most honest with people she dislikes. As they grow less adversarial, she begins to cover more and more up. 
Karkat happens to be the character who catches her at one of her most vulnerable moments, which is...
Jadesprite
Alas, we hardly knew ye. Faced with the seemingly unbeatable boss that’s Bec Noir, Jade decides to prototype her dead dreamself in order to have a human intelligence armed with the power of a First Guardian. This... does not go as planned. Jadesprite is yanked out of the afterlife and put back into the game that traumatized and killed her. She’s hysterical and doesn’t seem to understand that John’s not dead, and she’s not thrilled about facing Jack again and probably dying in the process. This makes Jade furious. How dare this version of her not put the group’s safety over her own personal life and happiness? How dare she not be happy to be used as a tool? How dare she show fear, weakness, pain, anything but a constant eagerness to please? Jade flies into a rage because Jadesprite reveals every bit of weakness she has hidden within herself and has come to despise. This part of her was never supposed to see the light of day.
Of course, it doesn’t for long. Jadesprite shows up again for a handful of panels, which are mostly devoted to Davesprite exposition-dumping. It’s interesting to note that, while she’s more emotionally honest with him, the panel after he shows up, she’s back to the generic sprite-mode smile. She still can’t quite kick that urge to cover it all up.
Then, Jade God Tiers and absorbs Jadesprite as part of herself. She wastes no time in crushing her and everything she represents deep into a corner of her psyche. And she crushes hard. Jade mentions later that her memories of Jadesprite’s time in the bubbles is hazy, which is understandable. Bubbles are weird. But later, when Dave talks about his sword quest and Jade seems confused, he asks in exasperation, “didnt davesprite tell you anything?” And he did. He told Jadesprite information that should have made Dave’s explanation later clear. But Jade, it seems, has forgotten. Could be an authorial oversight, could be the passing of time... or could be a signifier of how hard she pushed away everything “tainted” by that ‘lesser’ version of herself. 
Yellow Yard
Hope everyone’s been enjoying themselves, because we’ve now left behind the chunk of the story where Jade gets to do much at all. She’s John’s emotional sounding board for the next three years and then spends the majority of the combo session possessed, dead, or asleep. Yes, I’m still bitter.
The fact that both of Jade’s appearances in the intermissions are focused on being a response to John’s complaining is fitting, though (besides revealing the author’s priorities), considering her role on the battleship is to do everyone’s emotional labor. I could write a massive post on battleship dynamics since I’ve had years to parse the roughly 5 sentences allotted to them, but I’ll keep it short for this post. John’s showing the strain by the first intermission (there’s a lot of subtext in the way he talks about that video game) but in general he’s missing his old life, chafing at having nothing to do, resentful of his role of “following orders” in the previous session, upset at himself  for being childish, and of course sitting on top of a simmering pile of repressed emotions he refuses to fully acknowledge. Davesprite is Sir Not Appearing In This Comic the whole time, but it’s clear he’s in a downward spiral due to his lack of a clear purpose, feelings of inadequacy, paranoia over his lesser/doomed status, and general self-hatred. Jade is the apparent ‘stable’ one. She tries to be supportive of John even as he gets increasingly nasty to her in his frustration, and she’s presumably doing her best to prop Davesprite up. Unfortunately, no one’s going to support her, because she can’t ask for help. She can’t show weakness. She has to be useful. Anything else means she’s a bad friend and a failure. So she just keeps going until she gets crushed under the weight.
It gets to her, though. By John’s 15th, she’s short with him and looks visibly annoyed in a few panels, which is unusual for her. And by the time they arrive, she heads off to deal with business without telling Davesprite where she’s going or even bothering to wake John up, which suggests she’s pretty sick of them. Still, she hasn’t given them a piece of her mind. Yet. Instead, she heads off without a word, right into the Empress’s trap.
Grimbark Mode
The Empress has been plotting for the arrival of the gods, and she gets to work. In moments, her two girls are under her control. Not only are they forced to do her bidding, but their worst impulses, desires, and repressed grievances are pulled to the surface. For Jade, this is primarily anger. Notice that she mostly lashes out at people who have wronged her. She kicks John, fabricates a reason to get Karkat stabbed (it’s strategically inadvisable to have Jane fork him, but Jade wanted to), and tries to goad Dave into a fight. Finally, all that fury is coming out. 
While talking to Roxy, Jade also reveals how much her hypercompetence issues affect her self-esteem. ‘once i was even more of a dork than you’, she tells her ‘but now i’m one of the most powerful beings in the universe’. The implication is that Jade considers her greatest asset her powers. Without them, without her ability to be useful, she’s nothing. Also in this conversation she says she’s the suckiest Jade there is, showing both her unhappiness with her current state and her deep seated self-worth issues (get in line, girl). These hypercompetency issues also fuel her fight with Jake. She arrogantly proclaims herself smarter and more powerful than him (Jade can be headstrong at times or disregard other people’s views; I’ve talked about that in other posts) but gets curbstomped because she refuses to back down from the fight or go straight for Aranea. She has been challenged, so she has to prove she’s the best... and she fails. 
Speaking of things I am still bitter about, I will never not be bitter about how grimbark mode (and crockertier mode) were handled. I was upset about my favorite character being mind controlled, yeah, but I defended it as a chance for character growth. When I saw grimbark mode, I thought, ok. This sucks, but this means Jade can’t hide anymore. It’s all out in the open. She had a guy killed, for crying out loud. Once she’s snapped out of it, she’s going to have to be honest about it. This is a turning point where she can finally tell people how she feels.
That... did not happen. Instead, Game Over did, and then the retcon, and my last hopes of Jade Harley getting decent character resolution fizzled and died. I don’t like talking about the retcon very much, so let’s make this last bit quick.
Post-Retcon
I’ll go through this fast, because it’s unpleasant. In our latest chapter of ‘Jade Harley gets fucked by the narrative because Andrew Hussie made her too op and also doesn’t care’, the retcon shifts things around so that John and Davesprite blow up soon into the trip, leaving Jade to travel the Yellow Yard alone. Accompanied by carapaces and Nanna, of course, but it’s never really acknowledged that she can interact with them, despite her growing up on Prospit. Why those two couldn’t have blown up immediately before arrival I’m not sure, considering how late retcon Roxy died, but fuck Jade, amiright? (Bitterness intensifies). Anyway, the part of this I find most egregious is that this doesn’t have as much of an impact on Jade’s character as it really should have. 
Let’s review. Jade derives a lot of her self-worth from being competent and helping people. She has had issues with loneliness in the past. She’s got some self-worth problems that she covers up with the knowledge that she has a lot of cool powers. So we blow up her two friends while she in all her God Tier and First Guardian powers is powerless to save them, and then she’s stuck alone stewing in her failure for three years, knowing she will have to face Dave and Rose and tell them what happened. 
Does it seem likely that Jade would pop out the other side of the fourth wall perky and enthusiastic? Hardly. With no witnesses left, I imagine she would have dropped the facade. Having failed her friends, if she didn’t believe the timeline was doomed, she’d probably double down on making sure it never happened again, devoting her time to leveling up and training to a greater degree than she did in the GO timeline. She’d emotionally distance herself from her friends in advance. After all, once she finds out what happened to Grandpa, she describes it as “basically my fault”, even though Grandpa let her play with guns and Tavros redirected the bullet. Part of her hypercompetency is a quickness to take responsibility even when she should not. She would blame herself for John and Davesprite’s deaths and assume Dave and Rose would as well. I imagine her trust in Skaia and a happy ending would also be shaken. The clouds never showed her this.
So Jade ought to be a mess. In canon, though, she really isn’t. Oh, she mentions to Calliope that she felt depressed. This is progress for Jade, admittedly, but in general she’s relatively the same as she always was. When she sees John, it apparently fixes that all up (setting aside his notorious issues with alt selves.) She does seem reluctant to process that Davesprite is essentially dead, repeatedly referring to D avepeta as Dave, but otherwise, she seems to slot into the new reality without a ripple. We do see a hint of the loneliness-based projection with her naming the consorts and making up stories about them, but that's mostly glossed over. And since Vriska knocks her out before she has a chance to do anything while grimbark (even deliver some nasty taunts), no one gets any indication of her suppressed anger, so no one’s prompted to ask her about it. In terms of repression, she’s cleared to continue. And, as far as we’re shown, she does. At least John gets to visibly show that he’s got issues in the credits. Jade’s a smiling background character. 
As the final insult on top of injury, Jade’s big contribution in Collide is getting punched. I’m not entirely clear as to why she’s trying to prevent PM from fighting Jack - she knows Jack is a threat and has worked against him in the past. But no, here she gets in the way until PM knocks her down. Another blow for a character who has built her self-worth upon contributing to the team. 
I have my (grim) thoughts on what Jade realistically would have turned into after all this. And honestly, you could write a ‘how the ending shafted character x’s development’ for most of the cast, but Jade is a special example because her shafting started after Cascade and never stopped. And it makes me sad, because she was my favorite, and the opportunities were RIGHT THERE to give her development and bring some of this to the surface, but the story never made the effort.
I could go into way more depth about any of this, especially her personal relationships, but this is already long and it’s late, so I will leave you with this single, simple truth: 
Jade deserved better. 
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katymacsupernatural · 7 years
Text
Bobby’s Daughter
Sam Winchester x Reader
2000 Words
Summary:  You are Bobby Singer's daughter, who has grown up knowing the world of the Supernatural. After traveling the world, she comes back home, just in time to meet Sam and Dean Winchester. Instantly crushing on Sam, her dad gets furious.
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Life for you had been one strange even after another. It hadn't always been that way. You had two loving parents, who made sure you grew up happy and loved. That is until your mother became possessed when you were just a small child, and your dad had to kill her. That is when your life changed forever.
At first your dad worked hard to keep it from you. Telling you your Mom had died of natural causes, leaving you with friends when he went off to hunt. Soon however, you stumbled upon some of his books and items, learning everything you could about the Supernatural. He had opened up to you, telling you the real reason your mother died, and what he did for a living. It did nothing but bring the two of you closer together, and he taught you everything he knew.
During your high school years he had sent you off, to study with many different teachers, not only the regular high school course work, but also how to hunt and kill every single monster out there. You could read many languages, speak a bunch too. You had lived all over the country, even traveling to Europe to study as well. But nowhere fit you better than Rapid City, South Dakota, and the junk yard you grew up in.
"Daddy!" You squealed, rushing into the house after being gone for almost a month. You had quickly parked your 1966 Mustang by the porch, not even noticing anything around you as you ran into the see the old, gray bearded man you had missed so much.
"Y/N?" He answered gruffly, coming from his favorite room, the den, his arms outstretched as he caught you and held you tightly to him. "What are you doing back so quickly? I thought you'd still be helping out on that hunt in Spain."
"Isabella has it covered. I helped her with research, and trapping the cursed object." You explained, getting a good luck at your dad. It was hard seeing him growing older, his hair more gray than brown, his face more wrinkled than before. His clothes were dirty and wrinkled, his hat about ready to be burnt. You were glad you were home, so you could take care of the old curmudgeon, even he if he didnt' say he needed any help.
"Well, since you're here, I guess it's time you finally meet the Winchesters." He muttered, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. You had heard about the famous Winchesters, men that your father considered his own sons. However, with all the traveling you had ended up doing, you had never had the chance to actually meet them.
Suddenly nervous, you rub your hands on your black jeans, straightening your red tank top before following your dad into the study where two extremely handsome men were standing, wiating to be introduced.
"Hey, I'm Dean. That's my younger brother Sammy." The shorter of the two, with amazing mossy green eyes spoke first, holding his hand out, a flirtatious smile on his face.
"Hi." You answered back, shaking his hand before turning your attention to his brother. While Dean hadn't been short, Sam was even taller, his body lanky but strong. His chesnut colored hair was shaggy, and he brushed it away from his eyes before he smile at you, little dimples popping out at the motion. His eyes were a multitude of colors, a whirlpool of blues and greens that you could get lost in.
"Hi Y/N, it's nice to finally meet Bobby's daughter." He said politely, shaking your hand, the feel of his rough callused hand in yours sending sparks down your arm, and you looked up to see he had noticed the instant connection too.
"So, Spain, huh?" Dean asked, tearing your attention away from his brother and back to him. "I've only been out of the country once, and that's was to dig up some old Scottish man's bones. How's Spain?"
"It was beautiful." You whispered, always in love with the places you traveled. "But it's sure nice to be back here. I missed the place."
"Just the place?" Bobby teased as he came in with a couple of beers. Handing you one, he sat down behind his desk, while you perched on the side.
"Of course not." You answered. "So, what are you guys doing here? Just visiting, or...?"
Sam came up closer to you, his broad shoulder brushing yours as he opened a book. "It's a hunt. A skinwalker. We were just asking for Bobby's help on figuring out who it was."
"Yeah, we hate to run off, but this thing is killing a lot of victim's at the local animal shelter, so we need to head back." Dean apologized, just as Bobby stood up.
"Why don't you take Y/N with you? She's good at picking out skinwalkers. She could be a big help."
"I'd love to help." You insisted, grabbing your bag from where it was laying on the floor. It would have been nice to stay home and relax, but you were always ready for another hunt. Especially if it meant you got to be closer to Sam Winchester.
Giving your father a kiss on the cheek, you followed them out onto the porch where you finally paid attention to the car you parked next to. Long, sleek and black, it was a beautiful car. "Bitchin ride." You said, making Dean puff out his chest proudly.
"Yep. She's my baby." He purred, rubbing a hand along her hood.
"Is he always this territorial over his car?" You whispered to Sam, who let out a hearty chuckle.
"Even worse." He admitted, sliding into the passenger seat, leaving you in the back seat. Settling in, you welcomed the road trip with open arms.
It was only a short drive to their hunt, only a couple of towns over, but during that time you learned some interesting facts about the brothers. First, Dean loved classic rock, and only classic rock. Sam didn't care for it, and the two brothers always seemed to argue about the volume of the radio. But you could sense they really cared for each other, and would do anything for each other, just like your Dad had told you.
"So, why have we never met before?" Sam asked, ignoring his brother who had once again turned up the radio.
"Dad always had me traveling. Thought the more educated I was, the safer I would be." You explained.
"Sounds perfect for you Sam." Dean teased. "Sammy here is pretty smart too."
By this time, Dean was pulling up in front of a large animal shelter, where you climbed out, making sure you had your silver ring and knife. Turning, you saw both men tucking silver knives into the back of their pants. The shelter had already closed, with no other cars in the parking lot, and you watched in amazement as Sam quickly picked the lot. Walking inside, you heard dogs barking or whimpering, cats meowing, and it broke your heart. You always loved animals, and it had broken your heart when your large Rotweiller had been killed.
"So, how are we going to find it?" Dean asked, looking into each cage curiously.
"I have my ring, so I can test it that way." You answered, holding up your hand. "But, there's always something about the eyes that seem to give them away."
Walking down the row of dogs, you instantly passed by the small, terrier type dogs. Most skinwalkers went for the larger breeds, with bigger teeth and claws. Looking into each cage, you petted every dog, making sure your ring came into contact with them. After the fourth or the fifth one, you shrugged. "Maybe it got adopted?"
"No, they haven't let the public in since the deaths started." Sam answered, as Dean turned his attention up to the offices, making sure nothing got overlooked up there. Pausing at the last cage on the left, you saw a mastiff, staring at you but making no move to come forward. Giving him a second glance, you noticed that the lock on his cage was broken just as he came rushing forward, knocking it open, and knocking you down on the floor.
"Sam, I think it's him!" You yelled as the dog started growling at the two of you. Pulling out your knife, you held it in front of you, hoping you were right, and that you might not be killing an innocent animal.
"Y/N." Sam warned, just as the dog lunged straight for you. Sam jumped in front of you, wrestling the dog to the ground where it changed into the form of a naked man. Pulling his knife out, Sam stabbed the man before he could finish wrapping his hands around Sam's neck, and the man slumped to the floor.
"Well, that was easy." You muttered, standing up and dusting your pants off.
"Are you okay?" Sam asked breathlessly, coming over and checking you.
Nodding, you went to say something, when you looked up, catching Sam's hazel eyes staring down at you. Without another word, he cupped your neck, leaning down and pressing his lips to yours. Reaching up, you threaded your hands through his silky soft hair, letting him take control of the kiss.
"Hey guys, there's nothing in the offices. Oh..." Dean interrupted, and Sam pulled away from you. "Alright then."
He then noticed the naked man behind you, giving the two of you a thumbs up. "Good job."
After Sam and Dean had gotten rid of the body, and you had fixed the security tapes, the three of you climbed back into the Impala, heading back to Bobby's house. With the thoughts of kissing Sam still fresh in your mind, you fell asleep with a smile on your face.
"Y/N, we're back." Sam whispered,  his face close to yours, his hand on your shoulder. "Wake up."
Slowly waking up, you stretched, almost hitting Sam in the face. Taking his offered hand, you slid out of the car, walking up beside him. "So Sam, about that kiss."
"I enjoyed it, and I hope you did too." He interrupted. "And maybe you'd like to hunt with us more, so we can try to make a relationship out of this."
"Y/N!!!" Your dad yelled from the front porch, where Dean stood next to him, shrugging sheepishly. "Sam!"
"What?" The two of you asked, before you understood what had your dad so upset. He still saw you as his little daughter, and Dean probably blurted out that you and Sam had kissed.
"Sam, how dare you kiss my daughter! I've given the two of you a roof, help, whatever you needed, and this is how you repay me? By hitting on my daughter?"
"Dad, I can explain." You started.
"No, get inside and up to your room. I'll deal with you later." He grumbled, still upset.
"No." You answered, surprising him. "I won't let Sam take the fall. We kissed each other. And he just invited me to hunt with them, because we both felt something for each other."
Bobby deflated at your words. "Is that true?"
"Yes sir." Sam answered respectfully. "Y/N and I seemed to click instantly. And you have to know I will never do anything to hurt her."
"Well, better you than those wimpy men out there. At least you know this life. But if you hurt her, you will have me to answer to. Got it?" Bobby asked, and Sam nodded quickly.
Sighing, Bobby walked inside, heading straight for his den with Dean right behind him.
"I'm sorry about that. He's always been so protective." You apologized to Sam, but before you could say anything else, Sam's lips were on yours and your thoughts scattered in the wind.
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