#i couldnt find it for a day and i was genuinely upset

[hannieehaee]

Heyyy!! Could you do a seventeen reaction to the reader saying another member's name while sleeping? 🙃 Btw, I really like your writing!! ❣

you saying another member's name in your sleep

wc: 1027

a/n: thank u sm for requesting <3 sorry i took so long with this T-T

masterlist

seungcheol -

this man is possessive as shit. he'd immediately wake you up and whine at dokyeom's name leaving your lips. you were most vulnerable when you were asleep, right? so why were you saying another man's name?? he wouldnt accuse you of anything, but he'd be pouty and genuinely a little upset that he's not the only man on your mind 24/7. you'd have to comfort and reassure him for a good hour as soon as you woke up.

jeonghan -

he loves his members more than anything, so any interaction between you and them made his heart melt. if you were asleep next to him and happened to say chan's name, he'd probably lightheartedly curse chan out next time he saw him. but when it came to you he'd do nothing further than tease you about it a little bit when you woke up, asking you if you had a lil crush on him or something.

joshua -

he'd tilt his head to the side the way confused puppies do. why were you saying jeonghan's name while lying in his arms? he wouldn't be offended by this, but just very confused. jeonghan? really? well, he couldnt really blame you. he'd think about doing it back to you but would decide against it upon taking another look at your curled up form against him. he'd have to take this up with jeonghan.

jun -

he probably wouldn't think too much of it. when he heard you say wonwoo's name, he'd probably let out a quiet 'oh?' and try to check if you were really asleep. he'd be confused as to why you were even thinking of wonwoo and would ask you about it the next morning. he's a little silly sometimes so he'd probably accidentally bring up the incident in front of the boys, rendering you extremely embarrassed.

soonyoung -

he'd find it so funny, giggling every time you repeated vernon's name. he wouldnt even think about the fact that you were saying someone else's name, he'd just find it funny that you were talking in your sleep without realizing it. he'd feel like he was being let in on a secret. he'd also bring it up one day as a 'fun' anecdote next time you and him hung out with the members, not realizing how embarrassing itd be for you to look at vernon in the eye after that.

wonwoo -

he'd lift his head up from his game at the sound of your voice, not knowing you were asleep and asking if you called him. he'd get no response, so he'd go check on you up close, only to realize you were asleep. when you'd unknowingly repeat yourself and mumbled a quiet 'kwannie', he'd be confused at the mention of his friend. he's not a jealous man, but this would unconsciously get him to turn off his game and hold you to sleep, wanting himself to be the only man in your subconscious.

jihoon -

you kept mumbling over and over while you slept. he ignored it at first, not understanding what you were saying, until the three syllables caught his attention, causing him to flip his chair around to face you. did you just say joshua? but the sight would make him too endeared to complain. you were curled up on his couch, having fallen asleep as you waited for him to finish working, insisting on staying with him. okay, it's fine if you dreamt of other men as long as you liked him the most.

dokyeom -

he had the tendency of talking in his sleep, often saying nonsensical stuff that didn't hold any meaning. so when he heard you say jun's name in your sleep, he decided to not let himself be bothered by it and just nudge you awake. he'd ask you what you were dreaming about, to which you'd respond a sleepy 'you', not even processing his question, making him coo at you and rest with you, forgetting you even said anything before that.

mingyu -

he'd whine as soon as you mumbled minghao's name, nuzzling further into his chest. you were nuzzling while thinking of minghao? what was he supposed to think about this? he'd whine to you about it as soon as you woke up, complaining that it wasnt fair you thought of other boys while you were the only girl in his mind. you'd have to comfort him, even though he'd he half-joking, only having wanted your attention.

minghao -

he wouldnt really think much of it. he knew some people had the tendency to talk in their sleep, also knowing that dreams were uncontrollable and meant nothing. he couldn't blame you, he was also a big fan of jihoon's. he'd probably wake you up, though, assuming this was your body's way of telling you you wanted to be awake. he wouldn't ask about it but would subconsciously stick by you a little more throughout the day.

seungkwan -

soonyoung? that guy? you were having a dream about that tiger obsessed freak? seungkwan loved soonyoung, but hated the idea of you thinking about him in your deepest state of relaxation. he'd be yet another member to whine and complain as to why you thought of other men. no, it didnt matter it was a mutual friend of yours! your mind was meant to be plagued by seungkwan only!

vernon -

he's so distracted he'd think you were making conversation with him at first. after you'd said 'cheollie', he'd respond with a mumble of 'yeah, what about him?', not even looking up from his phone to see you asleep. when he finally noticed he'd be more impressed at the discovery that you talk in your sleep than at the mention of his friend.

chan -

you were his little piece of heaven away from his 12 brothers who would tease and baby him all day. so when he heard you mention the name of one of the aforementioned brothers while he held you in his arms, he had to admit it kinda peeved him. why were you mumbling mingyu's name?? was it the muscles? was it the height? but this was all forgotten the next morning, when you decided to make it up to him as soon as he whined at you about being your favorite boy.

#seventeen fanfic #seventeen x reader #seventeen #svt fanfic #svt #svt x reader #seventeen imagine #seventeen oneshot #seventeen reactions #svt reactions #seventeen scenarios #svt scenarios

[sanzuballs]

one piece men reacting to you being jealous !!

ft. sanji, zoro, law, luffy || fluff

RAHHHH haiiii. im back for my little drabbles because im okay at writing those. ik i always write for monster trio + law, but it makes me uncomfy to write for chars im not INLOVE (and want to FUCK) with. but enjoy reading you little munchkins!

———————

sanji :

after arriving to stock up on a foreign island, you cant help but notice sanji’s interest in a very attractive female chef. as you two walk around the markets, you find his eyes wandering to her and him going to her food and loving it. of course he didnt think it would hurt you, after all he wouldnt ever do anything to harm you. he was genuinely interested but you werent feeling it. later, he notices your unusual silence. he tries to rethink what could gave upsetted you, and all he could think about was the female chef. he felt his heart drop as you two walked in silence back to the merry. he suddenly drops his bags and runs back to the stores. you wait in confusion. but then he comes back with a bundle of your favorite colored flowers and a card. he gives you a weary smile, kisses your hand and hugs you and apologizes. then later in the night, you two shared some fancy wine and had a good (wink wink) time.

zoro :

lets admit, zoro is very attractive. while at a bar, you were paying for the tab and zoro was sitting on the stool a quite awhile away. suddenly a dark haired woman with desirable features appoarched him with a smirk. he told the woman off but she wouldnt listen and took it as “flirting”. you decided to watch from a distance and stay where you were. she draps her arms on zoros muscular build. he tries to push her off but she was attached like a barnacle. then you decide you had enough of this. you walked up to zoro and he smiled at you. after bickering and slight violence, the girl stormed out in tears. zoro thought it was hilarious as patted you on the back. later you found a teddy bear and a rose on your bed. it also had a paper that wrote “im allll yours.”

law :

law knows whats going on. a girl started talking to him and when you wanted his attention, he pushes you to the side. then he saw your reaction. he couldnt help but think it was absolutely adorable. so of course he had to keep going until you were pouting and tugging at his hoodie and whispering “law please come on.” into his ear. he couldnt help but smirk as he kept a innocent conversation with the girl infront of him. then when law gets bored of her, he picked you up and threw you over his strong solider. he set you down on his bed and smiles hazily at you. you looked away, you were mad at him for being a bum. he grabs your cheek and rasps out, “youre too cute when youre jealous.”

luffy :

god bless luffy’s heart. of course hes inlove with you but many girls are inlove with him. in a island, a very cute girl runs up to him, rubbing her chest all over his face. he ofcourse pushes her off and grabs you closer. “settle down.” he would say in a confused tone. the girl stays and talks and apologizes, luffy being luffy talks to her and has his laughs. he tries to include you but you werent feeling it. when he noticed, he grabbed your hand and said goodbye to the girl. “ooo, i know a spot.” he said, smiling. you two spent the rest of the day picking flowers in a diverse garden.

took me a hot min. i wanna write some new stuff with nami and robin and other chars maybee.

#luffydmonkey #one piece x you #law x you #smut oneshot #law smut #sanji vinsmoke smut #luffy fluff #sanji fluff #law fluff #zoro fluff #sanji smut #zoro smut #one piece fluff #monster trio #anime #zoro roronoa x you #trafalgar law #trafalgar one piece #sanji headcanons #zoro roronoa x reader

[scp230kinnie]

may I request agent strelnikov, dr gears, dr clef, dr bright, dr glass, and dr gerald with a researcher reader that they see as their kid?

also do you have a character limit? i couldnt find one so i apologize for the long request

Hi thanks for the request 🫶🫶 no character limit !! It should probably just fit into the Media Limit so i can put photos of the characters lol

Anyways I present;

SCP Foundation Personnel with researcher! Reader they See as their kid

Characters: Agent Strelnikov, Dr Gears, Dr Clef, Dr Bright, Dr Glass, and Dr Gerald

Genre: PLATONIC FLUFF

Warnings: gn!reader, cringe, blood, death, & SCPS

NO PICTURES ARE MINE

Agent Dmitri Strelnikov

Nah cuz I love him

He’d throw things at you and say “think fast” lmao

Oh you get sick one day? No you dont

He will force feed you soup

If you don’t want to take medicine may the lord help you

Hes not a big fan of affection but if you ever need it he would give you like one of those weird side hugs

He does his best to keep an eye on you when he can

He doesn’t rlly show it that well but he does care about you deeply

If anything happened to you like you were hurt, or god forbid killed, he would go feral

Or if he catches you crying his first instinct would be to ask who he needs to kill

Changing the subject lol…

Do not tell him if you have a crush on anyone in the office

He will bully you relentlessly LMAO

He genuinely thinks of you as his child

Has introduced you to a few people accidentally saying “and this is my kid (Y/N)”

He’s got a shit music taste but he will force you to listen to it

Sure, he’s the tough guy.. but not around you

He feels a bit more comfortable around you

He sucks at board games, and is a sore loser

When he’s out on missions, separated from you, he gets a but anxious but he asked people to keep their eyes on you for him

Dr. Gears

He would be you mentor when you first come to the foundation

Being in that position made him feel like a father towards you

Not affectionate whatsoever

Will pat your shoulder if you’re upset tho

He usually keeps his phone on do not disturb, aside from anything work related, and you of course

Your contact name on his phone is “dumbfuck”

Everyone at the foundation knows he’s basically your non official dad

Very persistent in making sure you get enough sleep or drink enough water

If you got hurt, especially by an SCP he would be PISSED

He has some power at the foundation tho so he would make sure it would somehow never happen again

He never smiles or laughs or anything, but he finds it endearing when you try to get him to tho

He doesn’t listen to music.

For the first time ever, you come before his job

He lends you books because I like to think he reads if he has free time 😈

He tries to make sure you steer clear of bright or clef

Tbh he doesn’t really want you to be like them (even if you already are)

He teaches you anything and everything he knows even if its the most basic task

He’s also rlly patient with you so that makes it a bit easier for you

If he ever catches you slacking he doesn’t really yell at you, just gives you a lecture

Just like a dad would

Dr. Alto Clef

Lets say you guys met through bright

He immediately takes a liking to you (platonically of course)

He buys you lots of stuff despite him probably having no money lol

He begs other people for money just so he can buy you something nice he found the other day

He just likes to see you happy

His one and only goal is to protect you

He will go out of his way to keep watch over you

Bro even recruits bright to help him

If you ever got hurt he would have his shotgun out in seconds

He would not hurt you himself, unless you take his pen /hj (reference to my other fic lol)

He will teach you how to play guitar !!

And shoot a gun 😈

He tries to help you with your work, but he ends up getting distracted then starts distracting you

Dr. Jack Bright

My bae fr

You met because you got caught up in one of his pranks 💔

He will not let you ANYWHERE near the amulet

He’s so scared something will happen to you but he doesn’t show it very much

If someone makes you upset, he has already fed them to some SCP

He always has an eye on you, no matter what

He helps you with work and he’s actually mot that bad but about halfway through he will get distracted lol

When he’s doing some prank he wants you to join him, unless it means you or someone else is probably going to get hurt

He’ll probably try to teach you how to drive (if you don’t know how) then would hijack it lololol

If there’s a containment breach he is heading your way immediately

He needs you to be safe no matter what

He buys you stuff lolol

You get sick and he’s in full dad mode

If you were to die he wouldn’t know how to survive

Dr. Simon Glass

Constantly worried for you

He’s a psychologist lol he can tell when something is wrong

Or when you’re lying

He also just generally wants to help you with anything

He can be as manipulative as he wants, but if he uses it, its only to keep you safe

He helps you with your work and researching ❤️

He’s also memorized your order for everything so he will go get you stuff on his breaks

He does absolutely everything he can to make sure you don’t get sick or hurt

If you ever do get sick or hurt, he absolutely panics

He recruits anyone to watch over you when he cant

Or he convinces the o5 to let him look at you through your office cameras

Its not creepy he’s keeping you safe I promise

He truly does think of you as his child

Dr. Gerald

He’s so funny

He generally tries to distance himself from you because he doesn’t want his bad luck / clumsiness to get to you 😭

He does try to protect you tho

Even if its from himself

Or inanimate objects

Or anything

He loves to brag about basically being your father

He loves that you still consider him a father too despite all his issues LMAO

He is kinda scared of you

He’s very good at his work despite everything so maybe get him to look over your work when you’re done

From a distance

He doesn’t really know what to do if you get hurt or if you’re upset

He will probably think it was something to do with him aw

Same if you’re sick

He will try his best but ultimately will get someone to bring you soup

He tries his best be nice

IM SO SORRY SOME OF THESE WERENT AMAZING IM TRYING MY BEST

Still working on requests so have this while u wait 😍

#fluff #headcanons #scp #scp foundation #scp230kinnie #alto clef #dr bright #dr bright headcanons #agent strelnikov #dr gears #dr glass #dr clef #dr gerald #platonic #platonic fluff #parent #parent headcanons #scp headcanons

[prettykitty3061]

I started a request and fucking hated it so take my scraps for now

Content warning : toxicity, reader is like scared of maddog idfk, i genuinely cant explain what the fuck is happening in this.

literally just angst 😱😱

kyotani and you had always been known as that one “forbidden couple”, you were way too pretty and sarcastic to be with an always upset guy, especially not one nicknamed “mad-dog.” but none of that mattered, in literal seconds of meeting him, you were automatically on top of him, asking him silly questions like what his favorite colour was and why he looked so mean. okay maybe not silly questions, but still made him frustrated after just one question. after days and days of you trying to get him to pay attention to you, you finally bribed iwaizumi to talk to you so that the always angry rascal would look at you. over time you started to understand him, and he was less bitchy to you, but there were still times where he just couldnt stand you, which was why you were in the situation you were in now.

all you wanted was for him to wrap his arm around you or for him to just let you at least hug him. it wouldnt be so hard, right? well today was different than other days, today kentaro had lost to karasuno, a team he had encountered, surprised, gotten into a feud with, and lost to. now it wasnt that you didn’t understand it, you understood every play and every tactic used, but what you couldnt understand was why kentaro had blamed it all on himself. granted, kyotani was a very pent up and frustrated person, but never had he actually been frustrated towards himself and guilty because of it.

you thought that trying to cuddle and comfort him would at least make him just a bit less angry, but you were wrong. very wrong. it seems that it only just fueled the fire of pity in himself, making him slightly snap. in just a few seconds you had been ripped off of his side and practically thrown to the other side of the couch.

as alerts went through your head, trying to find a way to calm him down, all of them were washed over with a rush of fear as you saw his hand come towards you. immediately you go to further back away from him and put your arms up, glancing at the shock in his eyes, that were staring right back at your eyes filled with fear and shock.

as your mind goes blank, not even comprehending what you just did, kyotani pulls his hand away, just staring at you, but instead of his eyes being shocked, they were now drowning in guilt, actually his whole face was. his lips werent pulled down in the pout he usually stars, it was now slightly agape, taking in sharp breaths. additionally, his eyebrows were furrowed and pointy down at their opposing sides.

just as you went to go and sit back up, to spout out a sorry, and try to understand what was going on in his head, he rushed off of the tattered cushions and out of the room. as your eyes and head followed him, he kept his back to you, and continued to lock himself in the bathroom that was attached to his room.

im sorry this is so fuckin horrible 😭😭

#kyotani x reader #kyoutani x reader #kyoutani kentarou #kyotani kentaro #hq kyoutani #kyoutani scenario #haikyuu kyoutani #haikyuu kyotani #kyotani headcanons #haikyu x reader #haikyuu!! #haikyuu angst

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

We'll Save You (1/4)

----

Janus finds himself stumbling into problems like one stumbles over rocks on the road, except some problems are a little worse than others.

But when he finally stumbles into someone who isn't like everyone else Janus' had met so far in this unforgiving world, he thinks that maybe there is some merit to the world after all.

----

| Ao3 | Next Chapter -> |

Fic Warnings: implied + referenced abuse/torture. trauma, an oc character generally being creepy. referenced past starvation

Pairings: pre-established prinxiety, pre-romantic anaroceit.

Word Count: 4054

Notes: Hellloooo @anaroceitweek day 1 here - yes I'm tagging myself and participating in my own event shut up.

Ao3 is down so I can't post on there just yet, but I will later! So! Yeah!

My plan is to continue this fic with a few of the other prompts from this week if I can get the writing done in time, but I might not lol, they may be late. I really want to draw Roman from this au after I described him-

Also I'm flying by the seat of my pants for this fic (wtf does this phrase actually mean lmao) so I have planned NOTHING lol

----

“Hello there little one,” said a whispering voice in the back of Janus’ mind that sent shivers down his spine. He ignored it, resolute, you weren’t supposed to talk to the voices in the forest, “My my, aren’t you far from home?”

Janus growled in the back of his throat, pushing forward. If he didn’t acknowledge the creepy voice speaking straight into his brain, then it would go away and leave him the hell alone. 

“What is such a little thing like you doing here in our woods anyway?” The voice sounded thoughtful, and Janus could almost picture a being putting a finger to their chin in curiosity with it.

He shook his head to get rid of the image and kept walking at his almost-too-quick pace, pushing back a branch, ducking under another one, stepping over the poisonous plant, keep going. 

“Careful where you step,” The voice crooned, almost mocking, Janus couldn’t resist the urge to glance around at the area. No one was there, he glared at the empty space anyway. 

“Why such a look, little one? I’m only trying to help,” The voice said, growing a little louder and slightly more persistent, the tone was almost a whine, but somehow Janus could tell that whatever was talking to him wasn’t genuinely upset.

“Shut up,” Janus muttered, pulling out a compass as he stopped for a moment, he groaned, finding he’d gone off course a little, turning and heading in the right direction.

“You shouldn’t be here,” The voice seemed to tease, “The woods are no place for a little mortal like you.”

“Yeah, well, don’t really have a choice do I,” Janus hissed at the empty forest around him, before slapping a hand over his mouth and sighing. Well, now he’d done it. 

“Oh how precious!” The voice seemed to laugh, “What are you running from, little one?”

“Nothing,” Janus snapped, “None of your business, whatever you are.”

“But it is my business, see,” They said voice punctuated with a cackle that had Janus paling, “Because you just stepped into my circle!”

“What,” Janus whispered, panicked now as he heard a whooshing breeze and suddenly the voice was gone. He looked around him, alarmed, to find that he was in fact standing in a circle - of pink and yellow flowers and mushrooms. He cursed, looking around again, this was a fairy circle, and he was stood in the centre of it. 

A strong, icy breeze whipped through the forest, tugging at his cloak and hair before settling again. Janus needed to get out of this circle before… but he couldnt’ seem to move his damn feet.

“What a surprise!” Someone said behind him, the voice sounded eerily similar to the one that had been speaking in his head, “Why, I haven’t had a visitor in years, welcome to my circle, little one.”

“Let me g-” Janus hissed, turning around only for his jaw to drop, the word he was speaking being cut off halfway through. 

Standing mere inches behind him was a person who could only possibly be fae. They smiled at him, the look on their face was something that might have been inviting, possibly even warm, if he took it at face value. 

Instead, he saw the undertones, something unnerving, and almost sinister. 

“Won’t you rest, little one, you’ve had such a long journey,” They said, cupping his face with their hand, he could already feel himself sinking to the ground, compelled by the siren-like melody of their words, “Yes that’s right, just rest, and tell me, what is your name, little one?”

Janus opened his mouth to reply, to answer, despite every part of him screaming no, to stay awake, to keep his name locked close to his chest. As his vision went black, he knew he wasn’t lucky enough to be so strong-willed. 

—-

Running. 

He was running. 

Where to? He didn’t know, where from? He shuddered to think.

His legs burned, the muscles screaming at him to stop, to rest, take a break, his mind whispered. He couldn’t take a break, if he stopped they would catch him and bring him back. His lungs burned too, every breath feeling like sandpaper in his throat, he kept going despite, kept pushing as he flew through the forest, the trees and the grass and plants barely able to hold him back for a second. 

It wasn’t the same forest he had been in all those years ago when he’d been escaping something that felt so far away from him now. So inconsequential and yet still able to shoot another bolt of adrenaline down his spine. He kept running.

No, this wasn’t the same forest. This one was luscious, almost too saturated - enough to hurt Janus’ eyes if he looked close for too long. This forest was filled with critters he didn’t know how to name, that he’d never seen before. It was filled with floating orbs of light that kept his path glowing ahead of him even as night began to fall. 

Janus ran until he crashed into something solid. His eyes were starting to blur from exhaustion at that point, and when he hit… whatever he had run into… his legs buckled and he simply sank to the floor, trying to pull air into his lungs. He didn’t know how far he had gotten, he only remembered the last stretch of the journey. But he felt like he had been running for hours. 

Someone was speaking, and Janus felt a dull stab of panic in his chest, someone was here, would they take him back? Had they come for him?

He tried to push himself up so he could run again but found he could barely even push himself up from the ground. When his arms gave out and he collapsed again, he was caught by an arm, a strong, warm arm, that pulled him into some kind of hold. His mind was too hazy and tired to really register what was happening as he was lifted into the air and carried away. 

—-

“What the fuck is that.” 

“A mortal!” Roman said, “I think.”

“You think?” Virgil hissed, pacing, “You just- You just brought in what you think is a mortal? To our house?”

“It ran into me!” Roman protested, “And then collapsed - and it looked so scared, I couldn’t just - leave it, Virge, you know that.”

“Well what are we supposed to do with it now?” Virgil said, gesturing widely to the mortal who lay sleeping in their shared bed. He wasn’t in the best shape, not by a long way. He was scrawny, with barely any meat on his bones. He wore clothes that covered his arms and legs, though they were ripped in places and too big. Knotted, messy blonde hair covered their still tense face. 

Roman took a deep breath, “I supposed we… look after it?”

“You’re serious?” Virgil said, groaning, “Why don’t we just drop it outside of the nearest fairy circle back into the mortal world?”

“Virge,” Roman said sternly, “First off, I think it’s a he? We’ll have to ask when it- he- wakes up, second, we don’t know where he came from, or how long he’s been here - we can’t just drop him off in the mortal world! He might be centuries and miles away from when he came in!”

“So?” Virgil said, crossing his arms, “Since when was that our problem?”

“Shush,” Roman hissed, raising a hand, “I think he’s waking up!”

“Ro- what-” Virgil hissed back as Roman rushed over to the bed, watching the mortal intently as he slowly blinked open his eyes. There was a moment of silence - so much so that even the room seemed to be holding it’s breath - before the human finally noticed Roman.

And Virgil felt such a strong bolt of fear surge through the room that he almost doubled over - a hand to his chest. The human scrambled from the bed, backing into the corner of the room on shaky legs and putting as much distance between himself and Roman as he could. 

Roman went to step closer, before Virgil intervened, grabbing the back of Roman’s blouse and dragging him back a few steps all while breathing heavily. 

Being able to feel other being’s fear was a useful power, but when it was so strong that it almost hurt it made Virgil wish he could turn it off. 

Virgil wondered what had happened to this human to make him so scared. 

“He’s terrified,” Virgil whispered to Roman, before letting him go. 

“Of what?” Roman asked, eyes wide. 

“You, I think,” Virgil said, “Maybe me too, not sure.”

“Stay away-” The human said raising a hand when Roman turned back to look at him, “What- do you want from me?”

Roman considered, for a second, before taking a deep breath, “Nothing.”

The mortal seemed shocked by that. Shocked enough to near collapse against the wall, ending up sitting on the plush carpet in the corner of the room. 

“...Nothing?” He asked, voice small.

“I didn’t bring you here to take from you,” Roman told him, trying to keep his voice soft but firm, Virgil remained silent, watching the exchange over Roman’s shoulder, “I brought you here so you could rest safely, that is all.”

“You’re not… you’re not with them?” The mortal asked.

“Who’s ‘them’, sweetie?” Roman asked gently, before sharing a worried glance with Virgil.

“The ones who gave me these,” The mortal said, sounding almost sad, though Virgil could still feel the fear radiating from him. Moments later he brushed his hair from his face, holding it back so that Virgil and Roman could see the marks imprinted there. 

Virgil gasped, covering his mouth with a hand. On the left side of the mortal’s face - from hairline to chin - was what looked like scales. Virgil knew better, though, the mark only looked like scales. 

“Vee,” Roman whispered, “You look pale.”

“That-” Virgil started, before looking at the mortal, who shrank back under his gaze and let the hair fall back into place, once again covering the mark, “That’s a brand, Ro.”

“What?” Roman yelped, “I thought those…”

“Weren’t a thing anymore? Yeah, so did I.” Virgil said, glaring at nothing, though the mortal shrunk back just a little more - probably because of his tone. 

Roman took a deep breath and nodded. “Of course, we need to… find out who did this-”

“A noble of the winter court,” Virgil answered, voice coming out a near hiss, “I recognise her mark.”

“Don’t send me back there,” The mortal spoke up, before slapping a hand over his mouth when both faeries turned to look at him, “Please.”

“No,” Roman shook his head, “I don’t think we will, right, Vee?”

“No, we won’t send you back there,” Virgil agreed, “whatever cruelty you have experienced under her will not follow you here.”

Roman hesitated, before tugging on Virgil’s sleeve to get his attention, before whispering, “You know we’ll be killed if she finds out we have him here, right?”

“You think I don’t know that?” Virgil sighed, “Buh… knowing that she had him- I can’t send him away knowing that.”

“Okay,” Roman nodded, “then we need to figure out what to do.”

“Of course,” Virgil said, looking back at the mortal, “Hey uh- is it okay with you if we ask a few questions?”

The mortal stared at him and Virgil could feel his fear strengthen the longer they looked at each other, eventually he concluded that he wasn’t going to respond. 

“Do you… not want to talk to me?” Virgil asked, frowning, the human nodded slowly, “Is it because… I’m winter?”

He stared at Virgil for a long moment, before whispering, “You- feel like she did…”

“Okay, yes, probably because I’m winter, then,” Virgil mumbled, “Would you rather talk to Ro?”

Virgil gestured to their partner who waved with a smile.

“Okay,” The mortal said eventually.

“Would you like me to leave?” Virgil asked.

“Please?” the mortal responded, Virgil nodded. He patted Roman’s arm before turning and leaving the room without another world.

—

“Okay,” ‘Ro’ said as soon as the other one left the room. All Janus’ attention was suddenly on the faerie in front of him. He was tall, with golden skin and hair like a bright bonfire. His eyes were like pools of liquid silver - not even mentioning the tawny wings on his back, similarly coloured feathers in place of ears too. He was… beautiful, and had a very different presence than the other faerie he was with, and… her. 

Janus tried to take a few breaths, he needed to answer the faerie’s questions if he wanted to get through this alive - and he had to answer them correctly if he wanted to get out of this without being hurt. 

“First,” He said, “Are you a uh- I don’t know mortal gender terms-?”

“A man,” Janus answered the question he was pretty sure Ro was asking, before continuing when the faerie tilted his head, blinking in confusion, “um, I use ‘he/him’ pronouns?”

“Wonderful, that’s what we assumed,” Ro nodded, Janus relaxed just a little, okay, that was the right answer then, “Now, do you have something you’d like to go by? Something we can call you?”

Janus tensed, he knew the question would come up, but that didn’t mean he liked it any more. Giving his name to a faerie was a mistake he’d made once, and he knew that as soon as he did it was all over. Ro would be able to control him, it would be just like before all over again. Of course, that was why they hadn’t hurt him yet - it all made sense, how nice they had been, they needed his name to use him. 

He must have hesitated for too long, though, because Ro frowned, “Just a nickname, sweetheart, I’m not asking for your true name.”

“You’re… not?” Janus asked hesitantly, he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to ask questions in return, but… he needed to know.

“I’m not,” Ro nodded, folding down to sit cross-legged on the plush carpet across the room from him, “Your true name is to be freely given to those you trust, and I know you don’t trust me yet.”

Janus didn’t say anything to that for a moment, he didn’t acknowledge that second statement at all, though he was sure Ro knew it was true, “...Deceit - you can call me, Deceit, or Dee if you want.”

“Okay Deceit,” Ro said, smiling, and oh how charming was that, “You can call me Ro, or Prince, my partner is Vee, or Anxiety, if you prefer a more formal nickname.”

Janus nodded, Prince and Anxiety, he could remember that. 

“Next question, how… old are you?” Prince asked, “No- that’s a useless question the numbers mortals use mean nothing to me, um, are you of maturity?”

“What uh- what do you mean?” Janus asked, frowning in confusion.

Prince sighed, “Are you - an adult? Or a youngling?”

“Oh,” Janus said, “An adult, I um - when I was - taken - I was 24 but… I don’t know how long it’s been.”

“That’s okay.” Prince nodded, “And good to know, next question, what’s your favourite colour?”

…Out of all the questions Prince had asked him so far, this was the one that surprised him the most. Why on earth would the faeries want to know what colours he enjoyed? Surely that information was useless?

“Yellow,” Deceit answered truthfully - he had learned quickly that lying to a faerie was one of the biggest mistakes a mortal could make, “And, um, I like black too.”

“Brillant,” Prince grinned, revealing teeth slightly sharper than average, “I’m partial to a nice red, myself, preferably crimson but I do like a lovely scarlette as well - Anxiety tends to be more drawn to purples, what’s your favourite animal?”

“...snakes?” Janus said slowly, his favourite animal was something he’d never particularly had to think about - especially not recently. 

Prince nodded, seeming… thoughtful. About what, Janus had no clue, but he seemed to be lost in whatever thoughts he was having. Eventually, he went to say something else before cutting himself off with a displeased hum and a frown. 

“Is everything… okay?” Janus asked, trying to work out what was going on. Prince had been all smiles almost the entire time since Anxiety had left, the abrupt change had his guard straight back up. 

Prince took a deep breath, the wings on his back shuddering and stretching out a little with it, Janus couldn’t help the way the feathers caught his eye - they looked incredibly soft. 

“She probably gave you faerie food, right?” Prince asked, Janus paled as hazy memories flooded his mind, a hunger that turned to sharp pain that turned to a hollow emptiness that had almost killed him. Right at the beginning before he lost whatever fight he had then he’d resisted, getting up after every kick or burn, She’d punish him every time he refused to eat, and eventually - when he’d been too weak from hunger and pain to even move - he’d given in and taken the apple she’d offered him. 

He still remembered how she had laughed when he’d bitten into it. He could almost hear it now, crisp as footsteps in snow but crackling like lightning. 

Janus couldn’t say anything around the lump in his throat those memories brought with them, instead he simply nodded sadly. Prince frowned in sympathy, his hand twitching as though he wanted to reach for Janus, though he didn’t move closer. 

“And you know what that means?”

Sucking in a deep breath, Janus recited what had been drilled into him a thousand times, “That I cannot leave this realm, I can never return home and that I belong now to the fae and the faerie realm.”

Prince sighed again, seeming sad, “You can leave.”

“What?” Janus asked, eyes wide.

“Theoretically, you’re not actually bound to this land, but… all it means is that mortal food won’t satisfy you anymore. You don’t have to stay here, but you do need faerie food, so… it’s an effective way to keep mortal trapped.”

Janus couldn’t do much but nod. He never knew that, but if he couldn’t survive without food from Faerie was there really point in escaping anyway?

“Was there anything in particular you liked?” Prince asked sadly, as if he actually cared that Janus was stuck here, which Janus couldn’t fathom being true, he knew faeries couldn’t lie, but he was sure they could fake emotions. Panic seeped in as he realised he didnt have an answer. The food she gave him was good, but he always felt dirty eating it, it always made him guilty and sick. He was never able to really enjoy any of it. 

“I don’t…” Janus started, trailing off, “I don’t know… I was never allowed to…”

Prince raised a hand to cut him off and Janus shrank back into the corner just a little, pulling his knees up closer to his chest, Prince sighed, “It’s okay, we can try things and figure it out, are you alright?”

Janus nodded, trying to relax just a little in his corner. 

“I will warn you now, neither I nor my partner know much about mortals, but we will- actually,” Prince paused, considering for a second, “Do you know about promises?”

“Fae promises?” Janus asked, Prince nodded, “Just that they’re binding- like deals- she tried to make me make them.”

“Did you?”

“No,” Janus said. Prince seemed to fully droop in relief. 

“I want to make a promise to you,” Prince said, slowly, clearly watching for Janus’ reaction, he just stayed still, staring right back, “I promise that I will not intentionally cause you harm, physically or emotionally, in any way. I promise to protect you to the best of my ability against anything or anyone who threatens you, and- I swear that you will be safe here, in my home, for as long as you wish to remain.”

Janus gasped as the feeling of magic washed over him, though it felt nothing like the magic he’d experienced before. This magic felt like a summer shower, warm and light. It wrapped around him, feeling almost comforting in it’s presence. When the sensation died down Janus thought he could smell woodsmoke. 

“How do you know I’m worth such a promise?” Janus asked quietly, unable to keep the astounded look off of his face. Roman had promised not to hurt him, and he knew how promises worked, did that mean he was safe? From Roman, at least, Anxiety hadn’t made such a promise. 

“Because you have been hurt,” Roman said, “By one of my own kind, you have suffered and you are scared and you deserve to be safe,  you should be allowed to heal, besides, you are a guest in my house, it would be horrifically rude if I let something bad happen to you.”

Roman’s wings flared out as he spoke, as though him being rude is the worst possible offence he could commit. Janus couldn’t help but smile, wondering if maybe this wasn’t going to end quite as horribly as he may have expected. Roman stood up, slowly taking a step closer to Janus, and when he didn’t flinch back he took another. Janus frowned when Roman extended a hand to him, but eventually reached up and took it, telling himself again that Prince had promised not to hurt him. 

With a gentle tug Janus was hoisted to his feet, though almost immediately he tripped - his legs still jelly-like and shaking from all the running. Instead of falling to the ground, though, Janus tripped forward into Roman’s chest. He yelped and pushed himself away as quickly as he could without falling straight to the ground. Prince was still holding his hand - and now was also stabalising him with a hand on his shoulder - and even despite what had just happened, the faerie was still smiling. He actually looked a little like he was trying not to laugh. 

“Lets get you somewhere you can rest, shall we?” Prince said, still actively trying not to chuckle as Janus frowned at him, “And we’ll get you some food while you do.”

“Okay,” Janus nodded eventually, feeling a yawn bubble up inside of him and repressing it as much as he could. He had become a master of hiding when he was tired, fatigue was never taken kindly. But Prince was telling him to rest, so maybe he could lie down for a short while…

The small part of the house Janus got to see as they travelled from the bedroom he had woken in to a second bedroom was immense. The ceilings were tall and vaulted, decorated with patterns and murals that looked hand-painted. The windows that adorned the hallway were open wide, letting in a cool, refreshing breeze scented with summer flowers while deep, floor length, maroon curtains swayed in the wind. The decor was a mix of reds and purples, with accents of silver and gold. Despite the size of the space, it almost felt… cozy. The carpet beneath their feet was clean but well trod, like this area of the house was frequented often. 

In comparison, the room he was led to was plain and felt spacious in a way that made Janus feel a little uncomfortable. Paranoia poking at the edges of his mind as he glanced around. There were a few doors, one that he could see lead to a balcony and the other that they’d come through, as well as two more that lead who knows where.

The room was decorated to the bare minimum, a plain white bedspread with a few decorative red cushions. The walls were still adorned with silver and gold, but the patterns seemed more simple and muted in here than they were outside. Prince lead him to the bed - where he found the sheets were wonderfully soft and felt lovely against his skin - and told him to rest. 

So rest he did, once Prince had left the room and the door clicked shut - he listened for a long moment and was surprised to hear no lock, he really wasn’t trapped here - Janus finally laid down, clutching one of the decorative pillows to his chest as he tried to fall back to sleep. 

----

General tags: @full-of-roman-angst-trash @reptilianrapscallion420 @your-local-random-dino @cutebisexualmess @glacierruler @roseianxiety @bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti (if anyone wants to be added, let me know!)

----

#sanders sides #roman sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #anaroceit #anaroceitweek2023 #sanders sides fanfiction #fanfic

[limielle]

its just opinions ignore me

i think one of the reasons i have such a hard time engaging with fandom and subsequently making friends in fandom is because im not critical of the things that i like. like yes i can and will find flaws in it and point them out when discussing it w others, i have a ton of questions that were left unanswered in fe3h for example and i thought the azure moon ending couldnt possibly be it, but that doesn’t make me write meta posts full of vitriol calling the game shit and unimpressive and whatever other stuff bc i actually enjoyed it a lot and that’s my problem like

i enjoy things and it seems like fandom atp (esp in the circles that im in right cuz idk abt other fandoms but for my two main ones) is just full of ppl who spend their free time just criticizing every mild aspect of things and getting genuinely upset about the writing in some games i wont name but u know which ones and im like if u guys have this little fun being here why are you. like

i draw fe3h and da cuz i love the games i love the universe and im not like “im gonna fix it” type of person i love the canon it’s why i can play it and it’s why im not living in fear of the looming sequels you know

idk if im even making sense i just wanted to like. talk abt this lmfao cuz it feels hard to be someone who just likes things these days bc so much fandom meta is like. it almost feels like it’s beyond critical ?? idk

#just words

[joyboyish]

what i think the straw hats favorite nintendo switch game would be

luffy - kirbys dream buffet, he likes kirby bc he eats a lot and (kinda?) stretches to copy abilities, and this is is like mario kart but you eat to get fasterr, if not that then hed like ARMS, ehich is pretty mucha fighting game where everyone can extend their arms(when theyre playing as a group he HAS to be player one, o matter the game bc "hes the captain")

zoro - fitness boxing 2, he wouldnt play games all to often, more focused on training and napping, (although sometimes there are like group sleepover nights where they olay mario party) but if he can train while doing this hes fine

nami - captain toad: treasure tracker, need i explain??? you literally find treasure shes all over this shit. shes def the person to stop and get all the coins and literally tear up if she dies bc then you lose coins. she only spends money on the powerups thatll actually help her and if its a multiplayer game where u need another player to revive u then shed keep them all dead and would charge them for her help

usopp - idk he probably likes minecraft, its simple(ish) and he doesnt need to put himself in that much trouble if wants, he probably beats the game in creative and then shows chopper the end poem and is like "this was no challengs for a mighty warrior of the sea like myself!" and then they both cried to the poem

sanji - cooking mama, he thinks her recipes are pretty bad but he likes mama, probably unironically calls her a milf and got into a genuine depressive episode when he saw papa eat her food, zoro bullied him for getting upset about a fictional woman and he started screaming about how zoro "didn't see their chemistry", and "papa doesnt deserve her"

chopper - he doesnt have a favorite, he isnt very good and prefers watching others or playing with others, if he gets stuck robin helps him like that one picture of the family in the 90s where the mom is helping them beat mario or smthn. hes the type where when they play as a group hes scared to mess up so him and robin are are a team

robin - tetris, she likes trying to beat her high score, but she doesnt think too much about it. she probably only plays once in a blue moon, or when shes helping chopper, but for some reason shes really good despite like.. never playing

franky - dude probably makes his own games and his own gaming platform. he probably has updated everyones switches so they can take switch games, ds games, 3ds games, and the games he makes. most of his games are about cola and just say super over and over so hes the only one who actually plays them

brook - he is an avid rhythm game enthusiast!!! his favorite switch rhythm game is hatsune miku: project diva mega39's his fingers dont work on the touch screen (because theyre bones-) so he never uses it, and since hes old it took him like forever to understand it but he got there

jinbei - similar to brook, since hes old he doesnt rlly understand, however hes different bc he doesnt try to learn LMAO during slumber party nights where they play games as a group, hes the group mediator, hes just there to make sure everyone gets out aliven mvp imo). he probably uses youtube on his switch every now and then for the live videos for news, and it ended with him on part 257 on some kids shopkins story, and deep into the cookie swirl c lore (the next day he gave it back to nami and said "luffy will probably break his, use mine as a spare" but it was just bc he couldnt handle it any more)

#one piece #nintendo #nintendo games #strawhats #one piece strawhats #straw hat luffy #straw hat pirates #straw hat crew #pirate hunter zoro #cat burglar nami #god usopp #black leg sanji #vinsmoke sanji #sanji vinsmoke #cotton candy lover chopper #tony tony chopper #roronoa zoro #monkey d luffy #devil child nico robin #nico robin #cyborg franky #soul king brook #jinbei #first son of the sea jinbe

[scalproie]

I'm not really like. Upset at the pure fact of Kuai being scorpion, more just that Hanzo might be gone. He really is a tragedy, and it was fun seeing his arc in both timelines. Mostly, besides when Raiden called him Q-C's slave and present Hanzo death. I liked that he became the face of mk but wasn't a chosen one or a altruistic hero or something like that, hell he wasn't even supposed to be popular, just a fun lil thing for the og cast cause his rivalry with Subz.

He just became the popular one cause hes just really fucking cool. He Is good, but unrelenting about what he wants, he's not above killing yet shows restraint for the special forces and Kuai in X. Everything he does is for a reason, maybe not a good one but one you can see the reasoning behind. He's not the most complex character to exist but he's a really fun character.

Plus, I miss the old man yaoi, more on the Old part. Everyone looks so young in 1. My wrinkly old farts are gone ✊️😔

yeah no hanzo being completely MIA so far is a valid concern. but I would like to trust that nrs are not completely clueless over why their characters are beloved in the first place and know that half the appeal of scorpion was hanzo's story and not just his general aesthetic, so I dare hold onto the hope that he's gonna make an appearance in the story, or at the very least, I would settle for a solid justification in-game over why he's missing.

Hard agree on your take on scorpion too, in the great mk universe he is at his core Just A Guy with a storyline thats compelling and could be standalone. Like for exemple, you cant take liu kang, raiden and shang stung (and goro) out of mortal kombat because they ARE mortal kombat, you could technically take sonya (and jax) and kano out of mk but in my personal opinion it wouldnt make for a super interesting story cause its like, standard military mumbo jumbo. Johnny is an outlier and should not be counted, his whole appeal is that he is an actor, adaptable, and is more than he seems. But I genuinely think the ninja storyline with scorpion AND sub zero could be divorced from mortal kombat and still be extremely compelling, even if it does lose a significant amount of meat bc of it.

Also yeah he wasnt meant to be the mascot but im glad he is (alongside subz kinda but he really takes the forefront since mkx) bc like i said before character favoritism is okay if i like said character. Which i do. Also since he really wasnt meant to be mk's face, its funny to imagine if another character got the spot, like imagine reptile on cover bc he was a secret boss back in the day and people (and ed boon) loved him so much he blew up in popularity, while sub zero was relegated to a jobber, and scorpion was dlc like ermac is nowadays (🥹👍)

(Anyway the lesson here is when two characters are so intricately linked in their storyline like scorpy and subz are, they lift each other to the top.)

Anyway back on scorpion, I really enjoyed his arc in the second timeline as well bc yeah, he isnt as shackled in his morality as other characters and I really love that they let him fuck up massively, like killing bi-han ib mk9 when he swore not to, and when he killed quan chi in mkx, its very accidentaly "scorpion and the frog" of him and I like that "he couldnt change his nature" :) he's a really really enjoyable character to watch partly bc hes been through a lot but also bc he genuinely is conceptually so cool. Also I will not be the first to say that his relationship with kuai liang/sub zero in the second timeline was the best written arc they did, that spawned over three whole games too.

SPEAKING OF Im gonna miss the old man yaoi sooo much too, its was about the "finding love again/for the first time in your forties" yknow? Esp with someone u had a complicated history with. Man.

And finally. Technically I understand every character going back to their 20s with the new timeline thingie, I even could understand our resident old man raiden not being old anymore with the whole divinity switch with liu kang but LIU KANG ISNT OLD TO COUNTERBALANCE. HE DOESNT EVEN HAVE HIS WHITE GOD HAIR ANYMORE. and take of depending temperature but Ive always enjoyed shang stung as an old evil man so much more than him young and him not even being old anymore is such a loss to me. So yeah Im mourning my fucking dilfs and senior citizens man😔

#at that point the only old man rep we might get is general shao and hes not even that old #anyway sorry this turned into a small essay. I liked your ask btw #I had more to say but thoughts and writing are hard #tagging later #anon

[raven]

I’m not trying to get you crucified here but tbh I would love to hear your locked tomb criticisms and feel validated in mine

So like im not a professional hater for it bc i simply didnt like it and i only make well thought out analyses if i enjoy the thing a lot for whatever reason and to me tlt is more of a whimper than a bang. so this isnt the most well thought out & its been a year or maybe 2 since i read it. but lets go. i read the first 2 books & not nona the ninth btw, and i enjoyed gideon for the most part due to I Love Murder Mysteries. but once its no longer a murder mystery(& confined to one location) i felt like the whole thing fell apart. (That being said i will suffer through a LOT for a murder mystery) harrow the ninth was like.. confusing and i know thats the point but it couldnt carry itself well enough. like i like confusing narratives i like nonsense and i like it when it doesnt make sense. but it just like. wasnt.. good? i really cant elaborate without rereading and i dont really want to. Also it was very predictable which, how can u be confusing and predictable, idk, ask harrow the ninth

so like anyways the writing is pretty annoying. i cant say its bad writing because it's competent enough but it's like oh my god you referenced this meme from 2016 tumblr you are SO. FUNNY. like i felt like as soon as i would be like "ok this is real im getting into it" someone would drop the dumbest line in the entire world that was a reference to an outdated meme. (I wish i took notes in my book to give you an example but like... you know exactly what im talking about if you've read any of it lmfao) people are like "gideon is just annoying" and yeah, she really was, but her narration in the first book had much fewer meme references and it was therefore sooo much more tolerable imo. Like harrow was genuinely SO bad for it. but both books i read felt very very juvenile. like people will be like "it is NOT ya" but then why does it feel like ya. like ya isnt just subject matter, i would argue that the defining feature in all the ya i read as a teen was in its tone and style. and tlt totally has a similar tone. in an annoying way. like "oh funny and relatable" but like due to everyone talking like a 17 year old from tumblr.com in the year 2015 it was not like, atmospheric at all. and a lot of harrow the ninth is about The Vibe. And the vibe was not coming across well. it just completely prevented me from feeling like i was in another world in like, any way. and this is a pretty fantastical setting..

and now we move on to the fandom of it all. i saw a really good post a few days ago that i did not reblog or save but it was criticizing how ianthe specifically was written like, intentionally playing into fandom troping and it genuinely shows so hard and it's really annoying. like. ok. so i told my friend that ianthe was just discount nanami from utena. and they were like "that is not true because ianthe is a discount homestuck character, also how dare you say that about nanami." (Idk anything about homestuck so i cant tell you any more there) but isnt that crazy. she is a knock off of many. anyways so like her whole purpose is to i dont know. fuck things up in an incredibly non threatening manner? like she was not necessary but its like Omg #Failgirl! god i wish i could find the post because i am not putting it into words

i also generally found the relationships and characters to be pretty uncompelling. like i didnt really care about gideon and harrow it was like woah they like each other now. wasnt really feelin it. i know a lot of people like it and thats fine though. the characters i liked the best were camilla and palamedes and then they dropped the bomb that palamedes was a heterosexual and i was genuinely so upset. like the man had fag vibes. "Oh he could be bisexual" the thing is that he wasnt though. soooooo. this is like so unimportant but i really did feel very betrayed. bc like gay people exist in the series. and not him..? fuck off

Ok thats all for now good bye if anyone want me to reread the books and take notes and critique for real give me money i would do it and i would be so thorough. but i know i dont do these things often so you cant really trust my analysis skills so thats fine. anyways. yeah. um anon if you have thoughts on the books let me know i love to read them tbh. sorry this post is so long i am on my cell phone and i feel like it doesnt deserve a read more. sorry

[minnieposting]

talking about ocd, hyperfixations, and loving vocaloid

minnie journal entry style post again, except this ones SUPER long lol.

a few nights ago i had a Moment of Weakness . it mightve been a withdrawal thing but i was not at my best lol, i just became really upset out of nowhere?? i was listening to some teto synthv stuff and kinda just Reminiscing on my vocaloid days ... i find myself doing that pretty frequently lately but since im not rlly hyperfixating on anything rn, vocaloid pretty much becomes my default. but im getting ahead of myself.

i get weird about my hyperfixations. when one starts slipping away it used to be so genuinely painful like i felt it so physically i would get so depressed whenever i felt hyperfixations start to slowly fade. i was always like that, but it was different with vocaloid.

 i will never be able to really describe HOW much vocaloid means to me but its litreally part of my soul. its ME. like i was sitting here trying to do exactly what i said i couldnt and guess what, i couldnt really describe it. i was really REALLY hyperfixated on it for 8 whole years straight, elementary school up to when i was around 15?  thats when my ungodly uncharted 4 hyperfixation came eating my ass .... and i remember the only reason it stopped was bc i felt too guilty abt leaving vocaloid behind I KNOW U CANT CONTROL HYPERFIXATIONS BUT MINE LITREALLY JUST STOPPED. after a specififc day of intense guilt lmfao

but yeah. guilt. whenever i leave behind a hyperfixation, i just feel SO guilty, and i dont really know why. i always feel this need to “prove” to myself that i still love a character, they still make me as happy as they used to, and i feel weird and bad if im not getting into smth as obsessively or if im not “consuming it the correct way”. i feel like im not rlly explaining this thing well but ocd is just a nighhttttmare , it bleeds into everything and lately its been bleeding into my interests and my creativity x1000. and im just really sad about that because i feel like i wont ever be that same person again, bc im just too hyperaware BC of my ocd and i just find myself ruminating a lot. though this usually starts to become Active in my head when my hyperfixation is actually starting to go away ... lol. when im balls deep into smth i will be way too obsessed to be in my head like that!

but. all this just being context lol... i was listening to teto synthv stuff and just. i dont even remember what caused me to start getting so upset but i just started reminiscing and getting in my own head about all this. how i dont like vocaloid as much anymore and wondering if ill ever be as happy as i was back then. i hate being an adult bc being an adult means being more Aware and being aware means ocd bothering me and just. idk. I was thinking about everything. Typical rumination spiral. just started getting really sad and upset bc i was just stuck in my thoughts and thinking about how younger me would be disappointed in my current self

it didnt last very long at least, and i ended up listening to re:ng and pinnochiop. but the songs that i clicked actually ,,,,,, helped me so much. one of the songs i clicked was rainy snowdrop by re:ng, and i found myself resonating so deeply with the lyrics. like im actually a bit emotional rn typing bc i went to go look at the lyrics again and im listening to the song rn. it really picked me up and made me feel ok again. then because youre here by pinnochiop played. and just. FUCK BOTH OF THESE SONGS ARE JUST EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR IN THAT MOMENT. it reminded me that itll be okay. simple as that.

and. im only writing abt what happened a few nights ago because while i was playing future tone earlier, it just hit me. ive always been saying that vocaloid makes me feel like myself. but then i started thinking about what exactly that means. and im actually thinking about it now while i write. its like home to me. vocaloid is where ill always go to, where ill always be. i grew up with it. its never not been with me. and no matter where i end up, itll follow me and itll be okay. ocd likes to make me ruminate about the past present and future but one thing that i know for sure is that vocaloid will always be there for me. i see it in a way where its me and my kid self. and i value my inner child so much. which is a bit ironic to me, bc of the way i treat myself...

idk. vocaloid is just really grounding in general. whenever i spiral or need to be pulled back down to earth, its there, and itll always help. its just nice to have this forever thing that i love so much

#minnie post #actuallyocd #just dumping my thoughts #minnie diary moment

[lunarblazes]

yknow i genuinely want to at least tolerate their content?

at least go "oh theyre having fun thats nice" but theyre making it VERY hard for me. like i am just so annoyed by them by now and thats kinda one of the worst things a youtuber/streamer can be to me imo?

i tried watching the recent mcc podcast but just. couldnt get further than like 5 min cos of the annoying bm hate.

i dont even want to like them/their content just tolerate it but its getting harder every day

also congrats on the hate comment <3

yeah this is about where i’m at. i wish i could still find enjoyment in their content like i used to. i hate being upset at people in video games. i always try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt in every situation. but when the team organizer—who had even LESS to do with the redo of a game than the mod team did—is immediately resigning himself to getting called slurs on twitter every time one of the participants opens his mouth i feel like i need to say something. because that’s simply unacceptable behavior.

#sigh i didn’t want this to be a discourse kinda night i’m sorry everyone :^[ #block the tag if you dont want tosee it slash gen #take care of yourselves if you’re upset #drink a glass of water and play a nice video game #lunar wishes #discourse #again no tag because . sigh

[cquackity]

sorry for bringing it up again when its over and feel free to answer privately/ignore me, i just wanted to explain why i find the eret stuff upsetting. i think its fair to think c!eret didnt need an apology from wilbur; thats just not the entire picture of what eret fans see when people go after her for that stream so we might be a little defensive.

i think to me the issue is that c & cc!eret crit cant be separated-- after the apology stream i literally couldnt be on here because people were being so awful about eret and consistently c!eret neg is tied in with people being assholes to the cc. also to me it reads as disrespectful to place all the blame for disliking that stream on eret when wilbur was on that stream, participated, and co-wrote that lore. i have never once had to avoid the dash due to cc!wilbur neg the way i have for eret, and thats pretty telling. not that ccwilbur deserves that, just that its interesting how bad eret gets it in comparison. even the post-utah stream didnt make me as upset as the way people talked about eret did and i am by far more of a wilburian than anything else.

to me, the apology was more for cc!eret for how poorly shes been treated for the last two years and because the fandom treats wilbur (c and cc) like the ultimate moral & narrative arbiter (despite the fact that a key element of his character is being an unreliable narrator); only his apology would make people actually think about how badly eret has been treated. and then it all backfired and everyone was so heinous about it that it was genuinely painful to be on here as a wilbur and eret enjoyer.

besides that meta element i genuinely liked that stream and felt like cwilbur did need a knock in the right direction, as i felt much of the apology tour was an empty gesture that externalized his need for self-forgiveness. not that he deserved to feel guilty or that his apologies were hollow, just that he wasnt going about his efforts to forgive himself in a healthy way, and hearing from someone who already got through it was super helpful.

im sorry folks sent you awful asks (and im also sorry for vagueing, i just couldnt figure out how to lay out my own feelings) but to me it feels really hurtful to see people shit on eret, c or cc, bc shes worked so hard and was the key to a really core moment on the server and gets very little recognition for it from other ccs (constantly being shut out of lore) and from the fandom.

sorry if this is a jumbled mess feel free to ignore it i just wanted to explain a little bit

hello bell! thank you for explaining i genuinely do appreciate your point of view! there is a reason i didn't unfollow you for vauging me lul, i find you to be a reasonable person who has reasonable standpoints on things. but like this goes for everybody who sees this: if you have an issue with me, just send me an ask like this! or a dm. or whatever. i'd also like to think i'm a pretty reasonable guy. i'm also pretty sure i tagged that post with the proper tags to be filtered too? at least i hope i did 💀

first off i'd again like to reiterate that i have literally nothing against cc!eret. i never mentioned cc!eret in my post, i have never posted cc!eret neg before, and the only point i made was that i don't believe c!eret deserved an apology from c!wilbur. i had more good things to say about c!eret in that post than negative. what other people are saying, that's not what i'm saying. i think it's unfair to group me in with people who have/are posting cc!eret neg. at the end of the day even if that's what you've seen that's not what i was talking about in the slightest. regardless of what content creator made the decision to have c!wilbur apologize i think it's a bad one. i stand by that.

nor do i think that it's entirely fair to treat that stream as some sort of meta on the cc!s lives instead of the characters. i've just never thought about that stream like that before, and it doesn't really make sense to me to do so. if either cc!wilbur or cc!eret have alluded to the apology being more for cc!eret i would be open to seeing a clip like that

i also disagree with c!wilbur needing to be "knocked in the right direction" mostly because i think there's several other more compelling turning points for his character post-revival, but i do respect c!eret fans wanting to enjoy a moment between the two of them.

tldr; i wasn't talking about cc!eret at all, and it's unfair to take my words that way when it was never the intention, and not separate them from their original meaning. please separate my discussion of the c!s and the cc!s

#if you don't want me to answer this publicly i can take it down #but i think several ppl need to see it #thes answers #c!eret crit #discourse

[pacifymebby]

lol Hi😂 I hope your doing well! I saw your post about swimming becoming and an healthy addiction and it made me chuckle (in a good way and respectfully!!!) because it reminded me of me little cousin does swimming for her middle school and is at the pool like every other day of the week plus weekends! And like last time we hung about at a pool she was just zooming around like a little mermaid while I was holding to a noodle b/c I'm not good at floating 😂 but yeah.... also I guess what I'm trying to say is that 4+ times a week probably isn't a bad amount to go swimming! It's exercise remember and exercise if good for all types of health!! Exercise is good for you!! Also plus's I think I've heard that some soreness can be a good think because it (can be) an indicator of muscle growth! There's some medical stuff there too but I can't think of it off the top of my head! Just remember to stretch I guess and stay hydrated especially because id your swimming in salt water I can dehydrate you faster then normal water because salt. Idk how you're swimming but maybe if you are doing like certain strokes you could try rotating to different ones that work some different muscles? Idk? It is also important to rest though! Maybe it would help if you like made out a schedule of sorts for like they days you go and don't go to get a good mount of rest in between? If it's something you find comfort in too it can be good to help relieve stress! And yeah, that's about all I got. Sorry for rambling! I hope I'm not overstepping! You're brilliant!! ❤️❤️❤️

Omg do they swim for the team? Thats actually really cool and something i never could have done in school!!

I had an older cousin like that who could zip around the pool like a shark, i remember him and my dad trying to teach me to swim when I was like 5 and had a big fear of water, i used to think he was the coolest but he was so naturally zoomy and stuff even my dad (who's actually athletic) couldnt beat him in a race.

Yeah i think Id be less para about it if i didn't get the intense feelings of guilt when I don't go swimming. Like this morning I got up to go swimming but missed the bus, so now i have to wait until this evening and I'm genuinely really upset with myself about it. Like I'm pretty prone to eating disordered behavior and I do kinda wonder if I'm attatching more importance to an hours swim than i really should be.

Yeah you're right about the soreness, I've been doing lots of stretches because i want to learn to do the splits and increase my flexibility again (i used to do gymnastics as a child and I'm hypermobile so i have a complex about not being the bendiest bitch in Aldi haha)

I did end up taking a rest day yesterday and not feeling awful about it in the end, and I'm going to go tonight and then tomorrow too, i can maybe even go on Saturday or Sunday which would be cool.

I only swim breast stroke because i dont like putting my head all the way under water (i have ptsd and having my head under water when I'm swimming makes me panic so bad lol) (im slowly working on it) but I'm really only going swimming for my mental health as a way of burning off all my anxious energy. It does do wonders for my anxiety on a good day tbf.

Anyways thank u for ur message and like, giving me the chance to get a different (probably way more rational) perspective on the whole thing, i feel a lot calmer and less paranoid now.

U definitely havent overstepped dont worry!! ❤️❤️

[tojisun]

I guess similarly to a previous anon I also went thru the entire hwb masterlist and am also not well!! I was crying for hours after last night and hours this morning too🥰 i guess I'm just venting at this point so im sorry abt that. It genuinely was so beautifully written and you did a great job but i just could not help but feel so bitter and devastated in the end. I couldnt wrap my head around why it was so upsetting to me and hurt so bad(esp since i actually like gojo a lot more than toji in general!!) but i guess it just stems back to my own abandonment issues. I unearthed a lot of really bad feelings after reading the entire thing. I'm still deciding if thats good thing or not. It's like im grasping at straws to fix something that's totally fictional and I know its just my lack of being to cope with my very real problems. I hope i get even a sliver of character development the reader did💀

Genuinely GENUINELY it was written so well and I hope that series is something you're really proud of. I guess im just in here talking to myself to get everything off my chest.

I hope this ask finds you well and you're having a lovely day💝

hi my darling!

first, id like to apologize for responding to this ask so late. it’s been buried underneath reqs and im really really sorry. hopefully you would still get to see my response, and if not, then i hope that you know that i am beyond touched by your sweetest words and kind support.

thank you for loving the series! im eternally grateful that my works are receiving this much love, especially for hwb as it’s been months since ive written for that baby!

and it makes sense that you feel that way about the ending!! my proofreader had even told me that she had hoped that toji and the reader would get back together. but with mamaguro in the scene, ik toji wouldnt want to. and so, the reader learns to heal, which is always so sucky and takes too long, often always torturously so. but yeah! i really really understand why you feel that way about the ending!

however, healing does come! ‘character development’ does happen, and you will have yours!! if the reader did, if i did, then you will too <333

again, thank you so so so much for this message! im really really proud of ‘how we break’, and im so thankful for all the support and love it continues to have!

this ask has found me well, and i hope my response would find you just as kindly. take care sweetheart ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

#anon #ask #about: how we break #i am so touched to have impacted you this way; it is every author’s dream to find the right words that will touch their readers tenderly #and it feels that i have found mine #thank you anon for this #take care my love

[wanderrlust0]

i havent journaled in a while so i guess ill do one now while i wait for this melly to kick in so i can sleep.

i actually meant to do this last night but i got too tired to continue after typing 2 words lol. i went to work today and then hung out with my bf afterwards for like 6.5hrs. it was a good time with him today. we really just smoked a little joint in his backyard while his dogs ran around. then he made grilled pork and we had his sisters pasta and meatballs with it. we watched the new ep of frieren while eating some krispy kreme glazed donut that his sister brought and then we just hung out for the rest of the night. funny enough, i actually meant to write some things about him last night but after hanging out today, my initial thoughts have changed. basically, ive noticed that hes been in this weird funk for a few wks and i couldnt really figure out what it was and if it was just me overanalyzing or whatever. after i hung out with snow which was feb2, there was an incident where i accidentally forgot to reply for 2hrs, even tho i read his msg so that affected our relationship in a way to the point where like he apparently started to care less and wasnt fully into it all. the way he explained it to me, he felt like he was holding back his feelings or like they just werent connecting and whenever we hung out, it felt like a regular hangout (almost like how a friend hangout would feel). it was only up until recently where he started to acknowledge it more bc of this recurring situation we were having with sex. like for a little bit honestly, i would notice that he wasnt fully into it like he used to be/normally is. i didnt say anything at first but after a while i think we were on the topic and i told him what ive been noticing. then all of a sudden it got worse bc it was actually affecting our relationship. it made us (but mostly him) question our connection, his state of mind, our chemistry, all that. like we didnt know what the problem was since this like never happens so its weird.. and he did bring back up how when i hung out with snow last time, at the time he told me that something in him switched and he couldnt explain it or fully understand it but whatever it was, i guess it was progressively becoming more prevalent without him realizing. like he was pretty much self sabotaging himself and so he recently actually had to like “self reflect” foreal bc i swear, he was being less like himself and less emotional and genuinely happy and not as affectionate. it wasnt completely obvious but i def did sense that something felt different. i felt like he would act jealous and suspicious of me at times and itd be his own trust issues coming out, as well as some insecurity. like, at times those parts of him were tiring bc its like the same things over & over. it made me feel like he was trying to find literally anything to use to try to pick at with me. like to find fault in me or accuse me/suspect me of something that i clearly am not doing. like i already know hes got some deep rooted trust issues and self esteem issues but damn it felt like i was always the one messing up and upsetting him and making it like hes just being sensitive and dramatic..like!! no!! its just sometimes so difficult to try to tell someone who is actually overthinking and overdoing it without sounding like youre gaslighting or brushing it off as nothing. i really was trying to understand him and his pov. its seriously all bc of my friendship with snow which is crazy…like how has our friendship become this prominent in both our lives and is causing this much conflict between us, even tho i told him a million times that it shouldnt. i tell him the truth about it, im not lying, not cheating, not anything but its affected him soo much. btw we are trying to plan a day to hang out again soo we shall see how he reacts to it & ill also not make the same mistake. ill deal with that later but at least today, he felt like really great and happy which is good and it made me realize how i did miss this from him. im glad were okay tho:)

#journal #mypost

[kidkintsugi]

stuff happened again over the course of the last few months and theres nothing I can do. I might just do it after all.

Friend i made over the last year dropped me and had me blocked on every account he owns because we had an argument. I even tried apologizing to him but by that time he already had me blocked everywhere. I regret sending that apology; i was also hurt. He didnt even try to apologize, and the way hes now trying to brutally distance himself giving me no chance to even contact him shows me that maybe hes only been using me for my money and help after all. The guy who apparently he crushed hard on broke his heart twice, yet he kept on crawling back to him. I have an argument with him once and he drops me like its nothing. I suspect this is also a way for him to avoid giving me back the money he owes? Maybe i wasnt that important to him after all, its almost laughable. Im not even trying to say i did everything right because i didnt, but again, in his own words, he doesnt even care. He'll be retaking the semester, i suspect he'll be spending his last days in my class online (if he id attending classes at all) so he doesnt even have to see anyone.

My best friend since birth who is essentially like a sister to me confessed to her mother that she fears for our friendship because I seem distant. It breaks my heart honestly, and with all of the other shit that has gone down, this was the last thing i needed. I cried for the first time in months. Shes everything to me, id rip off my arm if it made her happy, i couldnt even be angry at her if i tried, yet shes upset because i didnt have it in me to reach out. I hate myself, i really do. I make so much time for homework; ive been working non stop all over my christmas break, its a whole buttload of shit that i have to work at all over christmas, yet i couldnt find the time to talk to her. I want to rip my skin off, the urge to hurt myself is so bad as im writing this. Im an idiot. I wish i could be a better friend but after this much work and other emotional turmoil going on around me, daily classes until 4pm with homework directly afterwards until 8pm, i barely have the energy to even leave my bed, much less to initiate conversation.

My family feels like its falling apart as well ever since my uncle died. We already pretty much never talk to one pair of aunt and uncle because theyre not the nicest and like to stirr up trouble because my grandpa doesnt give them money (? lol) but now my other aunt, that used to be married to my now dead uncle, found new love. Within half of a year. Shes now also distancing herself, moving to a city an hour away from our own. We dont even know her new lover. She'll be moved to the other city by the start of next year. This only leaves me and my parents with my cousin, who developed depression because her partner doesnt care for her or her child (my grandcousin!!!! Hes so funny he can barely talk because hes so young!!!) and my other cousin who is, apparently, in an incestuous relationship with his half brother (THIS IS SO WEIRD TO WRITE???? WHAT HAPPENED THERE). We arent many people left but we still care for eachother, or at least i hope so.

Honestly, it just all looks like it wont get better in the future. Ill always be like this. Ill always struggle with emotion. I genuinely believe its for the better when im just dead. Theres only very few things keeping me from doing it. I hope next year gets better; ive been promised ill have less homework in my 5th and 6th semester, but my school rarely keeps up with promises. My hopes arent high.