Tumgik
#i could just keep moping & crying all the time but honestly it's getting boring like cmon brain switch it up a bit
meistoshia · 4 years
Text
wheres the “do i contribute anything to the rpc no but here i am” post bc thats been a mood for at least a few weeks now
#i wanna write but also my energy's been getting swallowed up my other things like keeping ma company in the kitchen & playing games#hell ive even been reading more lately#im still cleaning my room after starting like gotta be two weeks ago at least#i still havent finished dealing w my bookcase & ive still got all my drawers pulled out & in stacks & it's a mess#arguably a bigger one than before i started#but at least my bookcase is looking halfway presentable now so thats good#im. pretty directionless rn bc im on break from uni for the sake of my mental health which is likely why im less. anywhere lately#ive been directionless for a long time but it's been hitting me the most the past month or so#ykno what im gnna kick myself to really focus on my room tmrrw#maybe clearing things up in my surroundings will help sort some other things out in my internal spaces as well#i could just keep moping & crying all the time but honestly it's getting boring like cmon brain switch it up a bit#i need to do something stupid & reckless. & soon.#or at least productive but not pressing#oh i could fix up my skateboard & give it a new paintjob; it's got a sick skull on it but ive got enough things w skulls as is#ive been itching to indulge in drawing eyes again this'll be a good excuse; & if i fix it up ill have a good reason to actually ride it lmao#first my room tho. ive got too many pets to keep towers of drawers around. drowers if you will#i keep finding myself come to solid conclusions & decide on solutions in the process of writing tags on posts like this#yall have no idea how many posts ive deleted in the middle of making them out of realizing the answer to my problem sdkfjhg#guess i know now why so many people talk to themselves to get through something; reminds me of programmers & toy ducks#* !!     pkmn is autistic culture.
3 notes · View notes
iguessilovebakugou · 3 years
Text
In Search of Silver Linings, We Discovered Gold ||  Bakugou x Fem!Reader (x Shinsou) ||  Happier pt 3 ||  Series
I really feel like Sleeping At Last’s “Two” resonates with Shinsou in this one.  But also for the Reader towards Bakugou just like...in general.  Also, I would suggest Gang of Youth’s “Achilles, Come Down” as well. And Lauren Aquilina’s “Fools”. 
One day I’m going to make a playlist for this fucking series - and then you bitches will be sorry.  
I’m sorry it took so long to get this part out.  I feel like nothing I would write would live up to what I did 2 years ago now.  So I really hope that people like this one just as much as the others. 
Tumblr media
Part One!  Part Two!
Word Count:  7.7K TW:  Smooching, Death Mention
Tumblr media
“Hey, you okay?”
It should be so easy to explain to them what you were feeling.  They where there with you.  They went through the same thing you had, right?  You were right there with Ochaco, sat right by her side and watched her tell Mr. Aizawa...you should be able to just...
“Yeah,”  You offered Asui a bright smile.  “Just...tired.  These make up classes are just...they’re really killer, you know?”
The dorm had been quiet by the time the raid team had made their way home from their extra classes. Everyone had already gone to bed, the common area devoid of life by the time you had settled on the couches. And you were happy for it.  Ever since...well, it had been a bit harder to be around everyone.  It was hard to come to terms with the fact that after everything that had happened, happened.  And you were supposed to just...move on from it.  Keep going forward.  No time to process.
You pulled out your phone to check your messages.  You had hoped Shinsou would have at least texted you - but you had been left on read.  You tried not to be upset about it and instead, pretended to go to another app and check your messages there.  You even got comfortable and put an arm behind your head - yep, perfectly relaxed and not at all wanting to break down on the inside.  
Tsu’s big bright eyes stared down at you.  You wondered if she felt the same - if Kirishima, Izuku or Ochaco felt the same.  You wondered if sometimes, during class, they just lifted their heads, looked around at your classmates and felt...so out of place.  The only way you could describe it was like stumbling in the middle of a skit being performed in the middle of a park, and no one seemed to quite realize you weren’t actually an extra.
But you didn’t want to run the risk of looking at her.  If she looked at you, she might realize that you hadn’t come to terms with what happened - with Nighteye, Lemillion, with that poor girl, Eri.  And that wouldn’t do.  That might lead into her asking what was wrong.  And what were you supposed to do then?  Answer her honestly?  Come to terms with your feelings like a rational, level headed adult?
You?  Nah. Never.
“Yeah, you’re right.”  Once you were certain her back was towards you, you risked a glance in her direction.  
Your body ached, your eyes were sore, and your mind felt blank but busy at the same time.  You weren’t sure where to begin with everything, where to start with trying to catch up.  But this had become your norm, and as sad as it was, it felt like your body was accommodating to the drama that had become commonplace in your life.  You watched as she met Ochaco at the base of the steps leading up to the rooms.  She seemed surprised when you didn’t move to join them, turning to give you a concerned glance and a lip pout - for extra measure.  
You smiled, lifting up your phone and giving it a little wave.  “I think I’m just going to hang out down here before heading to bed.”
“Oh,”  She muttered softly.  “Okay, if you’re sure?”
You knew she wasn’t buying the act - whatever it was - in the slightest.  You knew Nighteye’s death hit her hard.  A lot harder than you.  As it should have - you had tried to use your quirk to defend her and Nighteye, only to be overpowered and rendered unconscious when it mattered most so you weren’t technically cognizant when she had made her getaway.  But it must have been terrible, holding a man in your arms as he died.   And yet here you are moping about it.  What gives you the right?
“Yeah, I’m sure.”  Another smile, this time a little wider.  “Got some videos to watch, don’t want to run the risk of waking anyone up.”
You turned, ending the conversation there.  You stared at your phone, sitting on the home screen and not bothering to look back once you heard them make the ascent up the stairs to their respective rooms.  It had been getting harder and harder to sleep these past few days and you couldn’t spend another restless night staring at the same four walls anymore.  Watching the same videos, rereading the same texts, you would go insane.  With an exasperated sigh, you tossed your phone to the side.  Hands found your face, fingers rubbing your eyes while reclining back, letting out a slow, low groan.
The lights in the common room were dim, just enough to find your way in case you stumbled down here in the middle of the night.  It was a small comfort, you figured to yourself, to have this moment alone.  To sit in the quiet and listen to the sounds of your friends around you, of the dorm settling snuggly down for another night’s rest.  And there you were, sitting by yourself in the common room.  Trying to decide if you were still mourning for a man you spoke to maybe a handful of times before you watched him get impaled on a spike or if you were ready to move on from it all.  Your head fell back limply against the edge of the couch, staring up at the ceiling as you tried to push any semblance of thought from your mind.  You just needed this one minute, one second for your entire world to just...stop running away from you.
If I could just get to him in time, maybe I could, I could help.  I could save him and be a hero and...
God, how dramatic could you get.  At least you hadn’t held the man in your arms as he lay dying.
With a sigh, you sat yourself back up and went back to your messages, pulling up the chat with Shinsou.  You hoped he was free.  Maybe even free enough to talk.  The empty feeling finding home in your chest was becoming too much.  You could use him, right now.  Maybe you could convince him to leave and come over.  You could watch a movie and just talk until you passed out.
Like friends did.
And if he was there, maybe it would so much easier to stay asleep. 
Hey.  We just got home.  Hope you’re...
Nope, delete.  Didn’t sound right.  
Hey!  You free right now?  I can’t sleep so
Nope, too eager.  
Shinsou, you loser get your ass over here
Nothing was coming out the way you wanted it to.  Nothing had ever sounded right.  You had so many things you wanted to say and yet never seemed to have the energy for it anymore.  Is this depression?  Do you have depression?  Do people who have depression know they have depression without being diagnosed with depression?  
You bit your lip, chewed on it until it grew sore and red and angry.  You needed your friend.  Your best friend.  Your only friend.  You missed hanging out with him, missed being able to text him weird shit and get a selfie of him looking bored at the camera just cause he knew it would make you laugh.  Cause you knew the weird shit you sent him made him laugh.  You wanted to see his face, to hear his voice.  You wanted it to go back before the dorms, back before whatever extra curricular thing he was doing.  But it wasn’t like he was doing this on purpose!  He was busy and you were just being fucking dramatic and needlessly stupid you didn’t even see Nighteye die but Deku did and he is holding himself together so much better and you would be okay if...if...
Why were you fucking crying now???????
Shinsou - I really miss you and I don’t want to be alone right now but I don’t know what to do I just wish you were here
“Hey.”
Given the recent events in your life, his gruff voice shattering the quiet of your isolation should have been expected.  Nevertheless, it still sent your heart skyrocketing into your throat.  You thought everyone had gone to bed and you could be a miserable wretch on your own time.  You jumped, sending your phone clattering to the ground and sliding under the coffee table.  The giant...granite...coffee table.  “Ah, shit, shit...”  You fell to your knees, trying to make a grab for it.  “Damn it, damn it, damn it.”
“I thought I would find you down here.”
Tumblr media
Shinsou had hardly heard from you since the night you got back from the raid.  He had seen the news that something had happened.  When you didn’t answer his morning text, he just hoped you were just being your normal self.  When you didn’t show up at lunch, he feared the worst.  He paced his room, hardly ate, did nothing but refresh his news feed to see if your name flashed by as a causality.  He figured no news was good news but waiting to hear from you was the hardest thing he ever had to do.  And the fact you hadn’t told him you were going in the first place and had to find out about it by overhearing one of your classmates mention it?
Ample payback it seemed.  Secrets had become your duo’s new norm - and he hated it. 
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“We were told not to say anything to anyone.  I’m sorry, Shinsou.”
Your voice had sounded so off, so different in what little words you spoke.  Silence had never been so poignant until he experienced it from you.  As he laid in bed and stared at the phone on his pillow, his heart broke with each toss and turn he could hear from you.  He sat quietly, for that whole 2 hours as you tried to make sense of what you had just been through that day.  But you never said more than a few words and, even so, those were just a mask to hide the rest of the truth you wanted to keep hidden.  He listened, patiently, as you tried to place it all in order so you could begin to move past it.  
He hoped he had helped - in what little way he could.  In what minute way you had allowed him.  You were closing off and he so desperately wanted to cry out for you.  But he stayed quiet.  
And he felt entirely useless. 
He didn’t know exactly what happened; only what little information he had heard from Mr. Aizawa and even that had been bits and pieces.  Confidential, he said.  Bullshit, Shinsou thought.  If he was going to try to begin to figure out a solution to...whatever it was that plagued you, to lift your spirits, he needed to know exactly what happened.  But, when Shinsou had asked if you had been involved, if you were alright...?
“You’re friends with her, right?  She didn’t really seem to want to talk about it when I asked her after the fact.  But I figure that’s just because I’m her teacher.  Maybe you should be the one to check in on her instead.  She might actually open up to you.”
Open up to him.  
And that was the problem wasn’t it?  Something that always seemed to stand right between the two of you, pushing you in separate directions - opening up to each other.  It was a thought that occurred to him as he watched you spin your spoon around in your soup, but refused to eat.  The two of you had no problems talking, especially you.  You talked a lot, and he...didn’t.  You suited him fine.  More than fine.  
But what is talking if you’re not saying anything?  What was the point of being friends if you couldn’t even rely on each other to keep a secret, to lean on each other when everything seemed so fucking terrible.  Had he done you a disservice, hiding things from you?  Had he given you the impression that you couldn’t come to him for something so small as a crush on...ah, for something really small?  Had you transitioned from “don’t want to bother him with something silly” to “I can’t talk to him anymore period”?
Shinsou had always been the more straightforward one.  Where you seemed to be an endless supply of needless conversation and seemed to always dance around subjects, Shinsou was the one who could give it to you as plainly as possible.  And you knew that.  You knew him better than anyone, could understand him better than anyone.  
So when he didn’t give it to you as honestly, as plainly as he could have, it would stand to reason that you would be sent tumbling.
Shinsou - I really miss you and I don’t want to be alone right now but I don’t know what to do I just wish you were here
The text had come as a surprise.  Shinsou had been trying to sleep, but it was a rare commodity those days.  His mind swirled with thoughts of you.  Of how much he missed just you.  Your laugh, your stupid jokes.  Everything was starting to feel so hollow when he heard that soft ding from across the room.  To say he scrambled towards his desk where the phone lay charging was an understatement.  
I really miss you.
You were screaming for him and he hadn’t heard it.  You were sinking further and further and yet here he was, wondering and waiting for some sort of sign on what to do.  How he could fix it - but later.  He’s not strong enough now.  He’s not ready.  After he’s done with Aizawa.  After he’s a hero.  After after after.  Always cautious, always testing the waters.  
I just wish you were here.
You never waited, never paused, never hesitated.  When Bakugou was kidnapped, you rushed home and came up with a plan of action.  When you wanted to talk to him, you marched from your dorms, almost got into a fist fight, just to talk.  You were reckless in all the best ways.  In all the ways that made him want to scream, to touch you, to praise you, to love...to love you.
“I would be able to sleep if you answered your phone once in a while.”
He gripped his phone and hated that he had to draw one hand up to wipe his eyes.  Hated that his chest ached and hated that you even had to ask him.
“I wish you would have answered me.”
No more.  You would never have to ask him again.
He couldn’t pull his shoes on fast enough.  Before Shinsou could stop, rethink if this was a good idea, he was outside and making his way towards your dorm.  If he couldn’t help you now, when you needed it the most, when you were asking for him to pull you out from the waters...
His heart didn’t have the right to ache for you as much as it did. 
Tumblr media
The two of you had done this so many times, Bakugou was surprised that you weren’t in the kitchen when he finally got down stairs.  The moment he got to the ground floor and saw you hunched over on the couch, his body froze.  
He had been hoping to have a bit more time to think of what he wanted to say.
“Is it just me, or has she not been the same since coming back from the raid?”
“No, I noticed it too.”
“Should we ask her about it?”
The frog grew quiet for a moment.  Bakugou had to strain to hear her response from down the hall.  “I think she’ll open up when she’s ready.”  She said softly.  “If we try to push the issue before then, it might just make matters worse.”
“Yeah,”  Uraraka responded, “I guess you’re right.  Still...I’m just worried.”
Worried.  For you.  
He didn’t want to think about why he was down in the commons, so late at night.  He didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that seeing your shaking shoulders, hearing the fast gasps you were making, ripped his very state of being apart.  He watched you, eyes narrowed.
He didn’t like it.  He didn’t like that you were in this state at all.
“Hey.”
He expected you to jump - it was a good thing that you did.  He would drag you out of whatever rut you were in, kicking and screaming if he had to.  
You got to your knees, cursing under your breath and scrambling for whatever you had been holding.  Probably your phone.  Bakugou stepped around the couch, shoving his hands in his pockets.  “Figured I would find you down here.”
You didn’t pay him any attention.  In fact, as you tried to reach under the coffee table, you kept your head turned - enough to where he couldn’t see your face.  You kept cursing, kept trying to reach desperately.  He watched you for a moment, feeling the frustration rise up inside of him.  You were ignoring him.  Like he wasn’t even there.  Like he wasn’t standing in front of you.
“Hey!”
“SHHH!”  You snapped to attention, pressing a finger to your lips.  He tried not to stare for too long.  “Do you want to wake the whole dorm!?”
“You should be in bed.”
Your stare lingered on him, for just a moment.  He refused to break eye contact first, refused to back down from the daggers you were sending his way.  You let out a huff, going back to searching for whatever it was that you had dropped.  “Couldn’t sleep.”
Bullshit.  He could tell.  It was a fact that he didn’t like to pay much attention to: tiny mannerisms that caught onto his attention like a hook.  You generally were so bright, hardly ever short.  Low energy, but not tired?  Sure.
He waited another minute.  “The others just got home.”
The slight pause.  Heh - you were like a book.  So easy to read.  “Oh.”  You said so matter-of-factly.  In another beat, you were back to searching, still focusing your gaze on the far side of the wall.  “Yeah, I guess.”
“So unless you got sent back early, I doubt you’ve even had a chance to try and sleep.”
Your fingers clenched, your fist shaking against the granite top.  Your body pulled up and away, resting in a rigid position.  But you were still refusing to look at him; in fact, to ensure that he wouldn’t be able to see anything,  you put your face in your hand.  Still, you didn’t say a word, didn’t argue with him.  So he continued:  “I’m just saying, if you’re going to lie, at least keep track who you tell what.”
You didn’t respond.  And he wished it didn’t make him as angry as it did.  He wished that he had been able to stop the rage that bubbled in his stomach.  But he couldn’t.  He didn’t want you to hide anything from him.  He wanted you to feel comfortable telling him when something was hurting you.  After he laid it all bare for you a few weeks ago, you couldn’t be bothered to at least confide in him what the hell was going on in your tiny little world?
“...tch.”  Bakugou fingers slid under the edge of the coffee table.  “Grab the other side.”
You paused, turning to stare at him.  His eyes met yours and he saw so clearly how blood shot they were, your cheeks blotchy and burning.  You sniffled once, pushing a strand of hair back into place.  “Uh...wha?”
“Do you want your crap or not!?”
“Oh, yeah, uh...”  You pushed yourself up.  His eyes followed you as you stationed yourself on the other side like instructed.  “On three.  One-”
He didn’t bother waiting.  Up he lifted and you scrambled to meet him half way.
Just a little to the side - and the bright screen of your phone illuminated the living room.  It was closest to him, causing him to flinch just slightly when the glow blinded him.  He moved to grab it for you -
Before Bakugou could realize what was happening, your fingers brushed against his.  You both paused, your digits flinching away from him every so slightly.  He didn’t know if he should continue making the grab for it or if he should pull away.  He didn’t want to.  Your skin was so soft and warm and...
He could feel your eyes on him and almost was able keep his gaze away.  Almost able to hold off temptation.  But you were like that, weren’t you?  The light had dimmed, casting a soft glow over your features.  He wanted to look anywhere else - anywhere but at you.  But your eyes held his, demanded that he hold your attention.  He hated the soft sound that escaped him.  Hated the way his heart hammered in his chest as you stared at each other, fingers still touching ever so slightly.  
He shouldn’t feel this way about you.  But he did.
Bakugou pulled back with a grunt.  He could feel your eyes follow him as he stood back up and stepped away, away from you.  Why did you do this to him?  Why did you manage to make him the worst of himself?  Lord Explosion Murder - reduced to a sniveling little puppy, eager to please because a girl he kind of thinks is pretty sometimes makes him feel like he’s going to throw up.  
His fingers shook.  He shoved them back in his pockets to hide the evidence.
You plucked the phone off the ground and immediately hit the lock screen to turn the light off.  You were once against standing alone in the dark, though he could see you plainly.  Neither of you said a word.  He wished he could say something, not scream it but just say it.  His mind strained to find something meaningful to say to you, something catching or just enough to keep you distracted from your thoughts.  But you had the knack for words - he didn’t.  All he could do was leer at you, waiting for you to start conversation.  You always had something to say.  
You silently slipped your phone in the pocket of your skirt.  
There was something different about you.  A wall that was keeping you from him.  Maybe the girls’ concern for you had weight behind it.  You still didn’t look at him, eyes downcast.
He had hoped, that night in the kitchen, that things might have been different.  That maybe...someday...
“You got your damn phone.  Now go to bed.”  He turned on his heels and made his way back towards the stairs.  He was done.  He helped you out enough.  
Sometimes you were too much.  Messed with his head and pulled his mind in so many different directions, he forgot which way was up because right there with you was where he wanted to be. 
“Why do you want to be a hero?”
Your voice cut through the silence of the dorm like a knife.  He hadn’t expected you to speak up now, though it fit you.  Question, make him stay; just when he decided to leave.  And of course, because you asked him to stay - he would.
“What kind of stupid question is that?”
“Humor me.”
He regretted coming down here to talk to you.  He should have just stayed in the comfort of his room.  “Why?”
“Humor.  Me.”  
His eyes narrowed.  Even if you wrapped yourself around him, brought him to his knees and groveling in your steps, no one spoke to him like that.  He spun around, snarl behind gritted teeth.  Who the fuck did you think you were talking to?
Then he paused.
You were watching him and the hollow expression on your face shoved the rage back down into his stomach.  With just a glance, you quelled that fury.  Another noise, another shock. Then your eyes softened and your shoulders slumped.  You remembered where you were, who you were talking to...no...no, you had never been afraid to talk to him like that.  Never afraid to meet his attitude head to head.  So what was different now?  “Please,” You added on, quietly.
What the hell happened to you?
Why did he want to be a hero?  
“To be number one.”
“Is that it?”
I don’t know anymore.  He didn’t like this line of questioning.  Bakugou was a smart kid - he could tell this conversation wasn’t going to be like the last one the two of you had.  No tea, no gentle touches.  The wounds were infected now and he felt shame burrow deep.  You had something you wanted to say, but something else was keeping it trapped, holding you back from being honest with him.  “What are you getting at?”
You fell quiet, letting his eyes take you in.  With a sigh, you turned and sat back down on the couch.  Your body folded in on itself, your hands grasping your arms, shaking fingertips digging into the fabric of the white dress shirt you were wearing.  “Nothing.”  You said finally.  “Just...thinking.  About things.”
You thought a lot about a lot of things.  Perhaps a little too much for too long.  You were receding back into your thoughts, pulling away from him again.  While he didn’t enjoy the feelings that being around you brought, losing you to your own headspace wasn’t something he would do tonight.  Or...any night.  His feet carried him back to the couch.  With a groan he sat down beside you.  “Well, then say it out loud.”
You let out a laugh that sounded too much like a sneer.  “Yeah.  Okay.”
It took everything in him to not reach out and grab you.  “I’m being serious.”
“I know.”
He just wanted to fucking help you.  “So tell me.”
“Tell you what?”
Like you had helped him.  “Whatever the hell that’s going on.”
A moment passed before you pulled your eyes back to his.  Finally, you were back in the present - back in that room with him.  Suddenly, you were aware that he had stationed himself beside you, so close your arms were a breath away from each other.  And there was a moment of panic in your eyes.  
You smirked, “Oh, are you playing therapist now?”
“Shut up!”  He bellowed.  “And tell me what the hell is going on before I change my mind!”
Your laugh was bitter, but it was something.  You used your hands to push your hair back out of your eyes, “...okay.”  You started...then fell quiet again.  He could hear you swallow the regret, the shame, the fear.  He watched as you struggled to put to words everything spinning around you.  “I don’t think I belong here.  At all.”
There were a million things Bakugou would have thought you could have said.  That...wasn’t one of them.  He had never thought of you not here.  What would that look like?
“I look at everyone here: Kirishima and Uraraka and Tsu and Deku...and I just can’t seem to find a place to put myself.  Among the rest of our class.”  His brows furrowed as you spoke.  He watched as your expression shifted with each word - angry and bitter and lost and upset.  “Like, you all are able to keep your heads held high, keep looking forward and never seem to let things drag you down.  I...I just don’t think I can do that.  So...”  You shrugged, swallowing harshly.  “Maybe I don’t deserve to be here if I can’t handle it...not like everyone else can.”
This wasn’t about the raid - that was just a catalyst.  It obviously struck a chord with you.  
“That’s stupid.”  
Another laugh.  This one tear filled but honest; and so, so bittersweet.  “Yeah.  Yeah, you’re absolutely right.  It’s pretty pathetic, huh?”
“No, you idiot.  It’s stupid because you’re wrong.”
You stared at him, mouth agape.  Then, in a second, your eyes narrowed, your lips thinned and your expression darkened.  He couldn’t help but feel the pride bubble in his chest:  You had realized you weren’t going to avoid this.  Not with him.  Not when he could help you.  He closed his eyes, figured it best to keep you out of his sight until he finished.  
“Look, you moron.  If you want to be angry or sad about whatever the hell happened back there, fine.  Do it.  But what good is wallowing in your own self pity if you’re not going to do anything about it?!”
Your voice shook as you spoke.  “Okay fine - then what should I do, Bakugou?”
His eyes snapped open, lips parted in surprise at the question.  There was an edge to your expression, daring him to answer.  Daring him to suggest something.  Blow it up?  Yell at it?  Fight it until it gives up?  But where would you start?  It wasn’t a real person - you couldn’t threaten it to back down.  Eyes scoured the floor for a response, searched desperately to find something - a strand of advice - to give you.  But he had nothing.  
“Yeah,”  You moved, pushing yourself off the couch.  You snatched your bag with such force it almost swung around and hit him in the face.  “That’s what I thought.  You don’t have an answer either.”
Shit.  Shit. He watched you as you skirted past his legs, intent on burying everything again.  If he let this go - let you go - you might actually do it.  You might actually leave UA - leave everyone in Class 1-A, leave your dream, leave...him. 
“It’s fine.”  You added, making your way towards the stairs.  “I’ll be fine.”
But he knew that was a lie.  Everything about this situation was a lie.  You wouldn’t be fine if he let you go upstairs, left you along with those thoughts of inadequacy, and if you kept falling lower and lower...?
“Hey.”  
You paused in front of the elevator...then pressed the button, it’s soft white glow sending panic down Bakugou’s spine.  The only thing he could see of you in the dark was the back of your head, the way your chin dipped just so lightly to your chest.  You weren’t going to respond if he didn’t do something.  He didn’t want this conversation to end - not like this.  What would All Might say?  What would Kirishima say?  What would Deku say?
What would you say?
“You never told me:  Why did you agree to go on that raid?”
There was a moment of pause before you turned and glanced over your shoulder at him.  There was a confused expression on your face, your eyes scanning him to try and figure out just what he was playing at.  “I told you why I wanted to be a hero.”  It was a challenge.  Stay and face this.  “Now tell me why you went on that stupid raid.”
Tumblr media
“Don’t get too worked up about this.”  Mr. Aizawa - no, Eraserhead - had said.  “The Big Three are one thing:  They’re strong enough to hold their own out there with the Pros.”  He called you all out by name.  Asui, Uraraka, Kirishima and you.  “You didn’t volunteer for this and you’re not obligated to participate.  It’s your call.”
It had been your call.  Your decision.  The Pros wouldn’t have shoved you into a situation you weren’t ready for.  The four of you had known that it was not necessary for you to go above and beyond what you had already done.  It was going to be dangerous, and you needed to not only be physically capable, but mentally as well.  
You should have waited, weighed the odds, thought about it for a moment longer.  
Your call.  Your choice:  Save a little girl who was in danger or back down.  Be a Hero or refuse to answer the call.
Well...the choice was simple than wasn’t it?
You hadn’t been capable.  You screwed up.  Once again jumping deeper into a situation than you should have.  You weren’t like your friends.  
You weren’t like them at all.
“Mr. Ai- I mean, Eraserhead!  After everything we just heard, I can’t imagine not helping out, sir!”
Someone who could raise their head and keep it held high.  Who could look danger in the eye and refuse to back down.
“Yeah, if you’re going to let us be apart of this, I’d like to pitch in however I can!”
Who saw someone and danger and threw themselves into the line of fire.  Who reached out a hand and kept holding on, long past the last scrap of energy was gone. 
"If I can use my power to help that girl even a little bit, then count me in Eraserhead!”
They were heroes.  You weren’t like them.
You stood up, nodding earnestly.  Your look was stern, your eyes hard as you looked at Eraserhead.  You were equals - at least in this moment.  “Yeah,  heroes save people - so I’ll do my best to make sure that girl is safe!”
You could feel Bakugou’s eyes pick you apart and put you back together.  Looking at him made you sick, made you want to crawl into yourself and rot.  But...with a soft sigh, your eyes casted up, trying to keep the tears from falling again.  You had thought you had done all your crying.  God, his face in the dark was a slight comfort.  His eyes practically glowed in the low light of the common room.  His dark t-shirt hung around his shoulders, his hair was a wild mess, sticking up in every direction.  And he just watched you.  No malice, no rage, just...waiting.  
Waiting for your answer.  
Why did you agree to join the raid?
To save that little girl.  Because that’s what heroes do. 
But...
“After my fight with Deku, you sat with me.  You didn’t have to do that either. So why?”
Arms gripping your hoodie, squeezing you for dear life.  His whole body trembled under your touch.  Tears as he begged for forgiveness that you couldn’t give him.  But you wanted to - because it would mean his pain would be put at ease.  If you couldn’t give him what he needed, what he longed for, you would at least be there for a moment longer than the tears would fall.  You just needed him to know he wasn’t alone.  You needed Katsuki Bakugou to know you were there for him, no matter what.
“And with the League attack?  You weren’t with Kirishima and them.  You went off on your own, to try and save me.  Why?”
They wouldn’t see how hard he worked.  How much he wanted to be a hero.  And if they hurt him, if he refused and the villains hurt him?  If they took that away from him…?  All of his hopes and dreams?
No.  No, you weren’t going to let that happen.  
You had to bite you lip to keep it from shaking.  Bakugou was listing off all your fuck ups as if they mattered.  As if they were helping his case.  As if they were something you should be proud of.  You considered telling him, making him aware that even in those moments, you still failed:  you got knocked out during the raid, during the fight with the villains, and that you hadn’t done much besides give him a hug in the kitchen.  You weren’t doing much.
Deep breath, look away.  His face was too much.  It was too honest, trying to grab at you and hold you still.  He could almost convince you that you did something besides hinder those who had a better chance of being a Hero.
“You do half the shit you do because you’re a good person.  You want to help people.”  Movement caused you to glance his way.  He turned to sit back down on the couch.  “As stupid as it is, I guess it’s pretty admirable.”
‘Pretty admirable’?  He - Katsuki Bakugou - thought it was admirable.  You opened your mouth, but after a long moment of silence found you had nothing to say, so you closed it again.  You hated that even without speaking, you were losing this fight.  “So does everyone else.”  You replied weakly.  It didn’t make you special.  It didn’t make you any different.
“That so?”
“Yeah.”
“Than wouldn’t that mean you belong here with all the other losers looking to be a Hero to protect people?”
Ding!
Behind you, the elevator opened.  
A soft gasp escaped your chest.  So...that’s what he was doing.  Leave it up to him to talk you around into a circle before shoving your argument back into your face...no, he hadn’t been nearly as harsh as you had expected.  He was speaking so softly to you, being as gentle as he knew how - which granted, wasn’t much, but appreciated none the less.  One shouldn’t look a gift explosion in the mouth.  
You looked at the elevator over your shoulder, stared at it’s open doors.  
You let them shut.
For the first time since that raid, you smiled.  Really, honestly smiled.  You set your bag down against the wall.  The walk back to the couch was the lightest you had felt in a long while.  You sat down next to him, resting your hands on your knees and one by one, you tapped your fingers against your skin.  With a deep breath, you felt your shoulders relaxed.  You weren’t surprised he was able to help.  “I guess...technically...using that logic...you’re not wrong.”
Bakugou scoffed, closing his eyes and tossing his head back.  “Of course I’m not wrong.”
You chuckled, shaking your head.  “How could I have ever thought to argue with you? Truly a futile effort to begin with.”
His smirk was quick, a slight twitch in the corner of his mouth before he grunted and looked away.  The prickly exterior he generally used to conceal himself was growing back into place and you couldn’t help but laugh.  You had been so wrapped up in your own bullshit that you almost forgot how much he made your heart skip.  As you looked over his profile, you realized that you were entirely thankful for Bakugou and not just in that moment.  You had been so stuck in your pit, sinking lower and lower that you didn’t think you’d ever get out of it.
But like everything, he broke the glass ceiling and shot through.  Only this time, he snatched you up and pulled your head to the surface.  Even if for a moment, you could breathe because he was holding your head above the water.  
You leaned over and bumped his shoulder with yours, nudging him warmly.  He ruined expectations again by waiting a moment before doing it back to you.  
He was so warm, his skin amazingly soft.  It lit your chest aflame and your cheeks grew pink - but you didn’t move.  The two of you leaned against each other but said nothing about it.  How did you find yourself here?  You had been close to him before but this was different in a way that didn’t seem to make any sort of sense.  And...you kind of like that it didn’t.  Because it didn’t have to.  You realized that sometimes, when it was just the two of you, as few as those “sometimes” may have been, you simply wanted it to just...be.  
You shouldn’t want to be so close to him, not now.  Would it be in poor taste?  Would he think less of you if he knew?  Did he know?  Did he feel the same way?  You were certain that if he looked over at you, looked into your eyes he would...at least see something.  You weren’t sure exactly what it was, but it was enough to cause your knees to knock and your chest to ache.  And you wondered if he would see how much your fingers longed to reach out and touch his body, draw him close and...  
But that didn’t matter.  Not now. 
You looked down at your hands.  If you...wanted to try...wanted to see if...this was something you could have, you would have to take the first leap.  Bakugou wasn’t going to do it.  He wasn’t going to be the one who dove head first.  But was now the perfect time?  Would there ever be a perfect time?  After having him strip your defenses, tear you down, build you back up - should you wait?
You spared another look, hoping that you might find confidence in his being.  
Your eyes met.  He was looking at you too.
No.  No, you weren’t waiting.  Katsuki Bakugou wasn’t someone you waited for.  If you were going to do this, see if he felt the same way you felt - all the crazy heart skips and lingering glances when the other wasn’t looking - you had to do this now.  
Gathering all your courage, you moved your hand and offered it to him.  His eyes tore away from your face then down at your open palm.  The universe held it’s breath, watched eagerly...as he slid his fingers between yours.  His calloused digits scratched at your skin lightly, his palms were a little clammy and...
Bakugou held you firm, grasping you tightly.  Desperate and scared and you remembered everything that lead you to this moment.
“That Bakugou kid likes you.”
Wild hair haloed in the setting sun peeking above the tops of overgrown trees.  Everyone around you disappears when his arms wrap around you.  He holds your hands, guiding the knife as he helps you chop.
“Out of all those losers, I was glad you were there.”
It felt like something was dragging you to him, tugging your body towards his.  He wasn’t stopping you, he wasn’t yelling or screaming or pushing you away.  He just watched, eyes narrowed and darkened under his hair.  Was he waiting to see what you would do?  Was he too scared to move on his own?  You reached out, gliding your fingers over his sandy blonde locks and brushing them out of the way so you could see his face.  Fingertips drifted down and over his cheek, trying to offer the same warmth he filled you with.  
Defiantly, a daring look in his eye, he pressed his cheek into your hand.  If you’re going to do this, then mean it.  Everything about him made you want to scream, drove you mad.  He always fought - and you saw now, that this whole time...he was fighting for you.  Fighting to let you know.  Had you been so entirely blind all this time?  
You wanted to say something, to let him know that you saw.  But words were wrong, thin, pointless and empty.  Nothing you could say would ever be enough to let him know how you felt.  So you would give all of you and hope that it was enough for him.
Without waiting another moment, you pressed your lips to his.  It was a deep and heavy action, one that he met with passion only he could muster.  You closed your eyes and lost yourself into his taste, the heat of his lips, his very presence.  It was a rush, one that sent you spinning - derailed all train of thought.  All that mattered was him.  All that lived in this universe was you and him.
His arm snaked around your waist, pulling you up and over him and you were happy to follow.  You didn’t dare break away, to lose the contact that you obviously both had been longing for.  Your fingers found their way into his hair, twisting and tangling.  Never once did he pull away - quite the opposite.  He met you, every press of your lips, every motion of want and desire, laid bare in front of both of you.  And as you felt his finger graze over the skin on your back, dipping under your dress shirt to set the nerves there on fire, you realized both of you were utter fools.
Tumblr media
It’s an awful thing: knowing you’re not enough.  Wanting something so badly, but no matter how much you long for it, it still slips through your grasp.  Of knowing that nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome.
He should have stayed in his dorm.  He should have never looked at his phone.  He should have never told you about Bakugou.  
He should have never let you get so close.  
It was by chance he glanced at the window looking into the common room, hand poised in front of the door.  At first, he wasn’t exactly sure what he was looking at - two shadowed masses, one on top of the other.  But then, he saw your face.  His heart wrenched when you pulled away from Bakugou.  A scream locked in his throat the way you smiled at him, soft and loving.  He hated the look in your eyes as you ran your thumb over his lips, as he slid his fingers into your hair to pull you back for more. 
Something Shinsou couldn’t have.  Someone he wasn’t enough for.
He didn’t linger on the steps for too long.  He feared you would see him and then - then you would have to talk.  He wasn’t sure he would be able to handle that, not with Bakugou behind you.  
The walk back to the dorm was a long one and he was surprised he made it into his room without incident.  It was late enough though, most of his classmates were asleep and the rest had retired to their rooms.  No one knew he was gone.  His mind was utterly blank until the locked clicked shut.
He didn’t realize he had punched the wall until his hand pulled back, sliced open.  Blood pooled and ran down his arm.  But it wasn’t enough.  It didn’t stop him from replaying that scene in his head over and over again.  The way you two were looking at each other, the soft touches, gentle smiles...
He slumped to the floor and let out one pitiful sob.  
What was he supposed to do now?
Tumblr media
Author’s Note:  I honestly watched Cats the 2019 musical and then wrote Shinsou’s part because I’ve been having a pretty good week honestly so I wasn’t in the headspace for honest disappointment.  
I just needed something to remind me that happiness is fleeting and something terrible and awful will usually come and destroy what you know and love most in this world.  Drag your joy through the mud until the only thing left is a shell of what once was.
...who let’s Hooper direct shit?
Anyway.  I do think I’m going to lead into a part 4 for this one.  I don’t know.  I’ll let you guys decide if you want something more lol since I’m interested in continuing it.  Especially given the newer chapters. 
Also eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, kissing scene.  First real one on this blog anyway and not a kiss mentioned in passing.  And look, it only took me a year or so to do it. :)  I’m a fantastic mod of this blog who gives people what they want and doesn’t focus on stupid shit in the slightest why are you guys here you should have left me on the street corner where I was standing
Tumblr media
Tag List!  If you want to be added, let me know!
@snaspants​ | @purplebellybell | @sxlenced-xf-lxvers​ | 
234 notes · View notes
corinnesamuels · 3 years
Text
The One about the Cupholder
This is for @mppmaraudergirl, who mentioned a conversation about a cupholder on a couch not being conducive to cuddling on the jily discord. I spent all day thinking about that couch. And the next few thinking through this fic.
“Well?” He asks excitedly.
“It’s. . . a couch?”
James Potter rolls his eyes with a sigh. “It’s a sectional, Remus. Look at all this space! And the recliner!” He walks around the back so that he can gesture grandly at his favorite of the sectional’s amenities. “It has a cup holder!”
The third friend, Sirius Black, shakes his head in annoyed confusion. “We have a coffee table, James. What do we need a cup holder on the couch for?”
“Sectional.” James replies. “And for the convenience of it. Whoever sits here won’t have to lean over to pick their drinks up from the coffee table!”
James looks between Sirius and Remus excitedly, waiting for their unimpressed stares to dissipate and shift into fond acknowledgement of his forward thinking.
“Did the breakup addle your brain?” Sirius asks finally.
“Maybe it is a cry for help.” Remus nods as he looks James over curiously. “He really hasn’t had any time to process it.”
“True. The breakup and the betrayal were a hefty one-two combo.” Sirius says, rubbing his chin. “The betrayal was just one thing for us. We were happy to see the bird gone.”
“Nothing addled my brain!” James scoffs. “A man can’t want a comfortable couch to come home to after a long day’s work?”
“James, you work from home three days a week.” Remus says.
“That is beside the point, but thank you for remembering.”
Sirius rolls his eyes, clearly growing bored with the ordeal. “Look, if you want to get a couch, fine. It’s grey, it’ll work with most things. Looks comfortable enough. The cupholder seems unnecessary, but whatever. Can we go now?”
“Sectional.”
“Whatever.”
All in all, James considers it a win. And he could desperately use a win. In a month’s time, he had experienced a not-so-amicable breakup with his girlfriend and a betrayal by a friend he thought of as a brother. While the breakup had been long overdue, it meant that he had quickly needed a place to stay. The upside (if you could call it that) of their friend’s betrayal meant that there was a room available in Remus and Sirius’ flat.
On the other hand, the list of things stolen in the betrayal had included the couch they’d had since uni. How he’d managed, they had no idea. But Peter Pettigrew had been full of surprises, it seemed.
After a thorough cleaning, James moves into the vacant room and gets re-acquainted with Sirius and Remus’ daily habits. Soon, James instinctively knows when Sirius would be returning home from the motorcycle shop he owns, as well as which mornings he could expect to find a man or woman half-dressed in Sirius’ clothes at breakfast. He could tell when Remus would need time to vent or consume several stiff drinks as he trudged through his dissertation. It was almost like uni all over again.
Through it all, James gives himself time to sulk, drowning himself in FIFA, Call of Duty, and crisps after work. He knows that things will sting less over time, and for now, settles for being at peace and drama-free with his best mates. James spends the next year claiming the recliner portion of the sectional and keeping a drink in its trusty cupholder at all times. In fact, when teammates from the recreational football team he plays for on the weekends commented on the great shape he maintained even while eating his body weight in crisps, he credited it to the cupholder, saying hydration was always just an arm’s reach away.
Remus had raised his eyebrows and folded his lips inward at the comment but chose not to speak on it. Sirius just snorted and rolled his eyes.
Living with Sirius and Remus also meant spending more time with their friends that lived down the hall, who he’d known before, but only in passing. James finds himself watching football matches with Marlene McKinnon, a riot who often gives Sirius a run for his money. He makes it a point to ask Mary McDonald for the weather report (“You wanker, you know I do the traffic report and local stories!”). James also trades jokes in passing with Lily Evans, the cheeky pediatrics nurse who curses like a sailor and keeps her stash of lollies and stickers next to her stash of whiskey.
Cheeky and attractive pediatrics nurse.
James has no desire to interact with the opposite sex again anytime soon, though. For now, all he needs is his gaming consoles, his favorite spot on the sectional, and a drink ready for him in his cupholder. But the more their friends hang out, the more Lily seems to grow on him.
She didn’t do anything in particular. She was just . . . her.
He knows he is a lost cause when Lily manages to get herself locked out of her apartment one evening. Mary is covering a shift at the station, and Marlene and Sirius are out wreaking havoc on some unsuspecting establishment, so she waits it out at the flat with James until her roommates return. Lily has her hair in two buns atop the sides of her head, a sticker on her cheek, and is still in her scrubs, and James can’t help but grin at her as she walks in. He watches as she digs deep into her pockets and pulls out a handful of lollies, allowing him to take his pick. He takes a green apple-flavored one while she settles on lemon.
“Now, teach me how to play this FIFA game you’ve been playing nonstop since you moved in.” Lily says, picking up the second control and making a show of pressing all the buttons madly.
Sitting on either side of the cupholder, James and Lily play the game, joking and laughing the entire time. James realizes that though he had stopped moping some weeks before, he laughed more with Lily that night than he’d laughed in who knows how long. When Marlene and Sirius return, Lily thanks James for his hospitality and leaves a sticker and another green apple lolly in the cupholder as she says goodbye.
James spends the next few weeks subtly watching Lily when they pass each other in the hall or go out for dinner or drinks with the gang. He honestly doesn’t even really realize that he is doing it until one day he thinks he sees her watching him, too.
When Remus defends his dissertation, the gang decides to throw a celebratory party at the boys’ flat. Remus is deliriously drunk, taking votes on whether he should burn his dissertation or build a shrine to it. James mingles and laughs with their friends and Remus’ colleagues but eventually retires to his favorite spot and places a glass of whiskey in his cupholder as he pulls the lever to recline the seat. He looks over to the other side of the sectional and sees people squeezing themselves onto the cushions and sitting on the floor as they chat drunkenly. James smiles to himself, thinking of how the cupholder had ensured that he not only has his drink close by but that he also had enough space to relax. He toasts to his own foresight and takes a sip from his glass. It’s a brand of whiskey he knows is Lily’s favorite. James had gone to three different liquor stores to find it for the party.
Lily comes to say hello a few moments later and, seeing that there is no additional room on the sectional, chooses to sit next to him on the armrest of the recliner. While they talk, she reaches over him and takes his glass from the cupholder, stealing a swig of the amber colored liquid. She closes her eyes and smiles, relishing the taste. James finds himself very distracted by the euphoric look on her face—her closed eyes, head tilted back, dark red hair tumbling around her in waves, neck elongated . . .
He clears his throat to gather himself and reign his thoughts back to safer ground.
They talk about everything, or maybe nothing. James can’t be sure since he is still so damned distracted by her every move. He gets a reprieve when Sirius calls for a group picture to document the occasion. Mary has set up a camera and tripod that she, ahem . . . borrowed from work—though definitely not for the act of taking quality selfies, she says.
As Sirius makes his way to the front of the sitting room, he sees James and Lily talking and exchanges a devious look with Marlene that Lily sees too late.
Suddenly, Marlene shoves Lily off of the armrest. Lily attempts to brace her fall, but James’ reflexes kick in, and he catches her right before her back bangs into the cupholder. They lock eyes for a moment, or maybe a lifetime, before they seem to realize that James is holding her in his lap.
“I’m so sorry, Marlene pushed me and—”
“So incredibly sorry, Evans, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just didn’t want you to get hurt—”
They stop and lock eyes again. James watches as Lily’s cheeks grow pink, and when she tucks a stray lock of hair behind her ear, he wishes he could have been the one to tuck it there.
“I’m not uncomfortable.” Lily says, uncharacteristically bashful as she looks up at him through her lashes. James is so distracted by the way she is biting the corner of her lip that he almost misses it.
Oh. Oh.
“Yeah?” He asks, sounding out of breath.
“Yeah.” She confirms softly. Her hair falls out of place again, and this time James does tuck it back into place.
Around them, Sirius and Mary are getting everyone gathered and placed around the sectional. A drunken Remus sits in the front, holding his dissertation like he’s posing for a picture with a toddler.
“Everyone one say ‘PhD’ on three!” Mary yells over the lively crowd. James hears Sirius count them down, but James can’t take his eyes away from Lily.
“One!”
Lily rests a hand on his forearm.
“Two!”
James wraps an arm around her legs to hold her to him more securely.
“Three!”
“I’m not uncomfortable either.” James tells Lily.
“Yeah?” she asks.
“Yeah.”
“PhD!” The camera flashes, and everyone yells and cheers around them, clapping Remus on the shoulder and toasting with their drinks. But James and Lily still only have eyes for each other.
The previous year had been full of emotional upheaval for James Potter. But at that moment, he had never been so grateful for his cupholder or the fact that it meant there was less sitting room on the couch.
Sectional.
Whatever.
Read on ao3!
86 notes · View notes
skylarmoon71 · 3 years
Text
Leo x Reader - Oneshot (TMNT 2014/2016)
Tumblr media
"Don't forget to close your window (Y/N). One of these days you're gonna catch a serious cold." Your sister made a habit of scolding you about minor things like that. Since it was just the two of you, it made sense that she was a little over protective. So as she got ready to head to her graveyard shift, you just nod.
It's not that you intentionally forgot to close the windows, you just got so lost in the lights that glimmered at night. Sometimes you'd just sit at your desk and stare out at the night sky. It was soothing, and beautiful.
Such a magnificent city, so under appreciated and tarnished by the crime all around it. It was sad for you, reading the headlines. What did bring you comfort was the so-called vigilantes. No one knew who they were, or where they came from. But slowly, they were taking the city back. One thug at a time.
"So cool." Being a teenager didn't allow for much excitement. At least not in your life. The biggest issue in your life right now was probably getting through your finals. But you wondered what it would be like being out there, saving the world. Doing something worthwhile, something that mattered.
"I wish I was that amazing." You head rest on the windowsill, just gazing at the stars.
"I'm sure you're an amazing person." The voice made you shoot up. And from your position on the window, you could only make out a shadow above your head.
"I'm sorry, that was a bit creepy. I don't mean to intrude. You seemed a bit down. " You blinked at the male voice.
"O-Oh! I'm sorry. I really didn't think anyone would be out here so late."
There was an apartment above you, so maybe he was doing the same thing you were. "I should apologize. I'll just leave you to your thoughts."
"W-Wait!" It was a little weird, but you didn't mind. He didn't sound like a bad guy, and he did compliment you. "Y-You don't have to go. I was just rambling to myself. I usually just come out here to think. It's a bit therapeutic. "
"I guess...I do the same thing. It helps, doesn't it? Makes you forget just how much is going on." You smile. He sounded sort of mature.
"Yeah, it does. It's a bit cheesy but I love the stars. They are what I look forward to honestly. I feel like we take it for granted. Everyday we wake up and just expect the sun to be there because that's how it's always been. We rush through the day and when night comes, we repeat the cycle. So much beauty and we can't even work up a simple thanks. " When you'd finish your little rant you flushed. "Oh gosh I'm rambling again you probably don't even want to hear all this." You were probably boring this stranger.
"No it's alright. I agree with you. So many things aren't promised, we need to appreciate that. Just recently an incident opened my eyes to just how fleeting life is. I almost lost my family...my brothers. "
You shot up at that."A-Are they okay! W-What happened!" he just let out a small chuckle at your concern.
"They're fine. We survived because well we had each other. That's what life is really about. Family, and of course pizza." you laugh at his joke, resting your head back on your arm. "Well I'm glad it all worked out for you. I can't imagine what I would do if something happened to my sister. "
"She's lucky to have such a wonderful sibling." you blush.
T-Thank you."
"Well, I don't want to keep you awake any longer, and I myself need to get to bed."
"Oh yeah of course. It was nice meeting you uh...umm?"
"Leonardo. But everyone calls me Leo."
"Leonardo, woah."
"I'm (Y/N), It's really nice meeting you Leo."
"Likewise (Y/N)." even the way he said your name made you blush. "I guess we'll talk again?" you said hopefully.
"You can count on it."
~~~~~~
Nights like that continued, you'd be just sitting, enjoying the cool air, and Leo would just appear, striking up a conversation. As the days passed he told you more about himself, and his brothers. Just from the way he spoke it wasn't hard to tell that he loved them. It was clear as day. What you didn't understand is why you never saw him.
You were positive he lived in the apartments above, but no one ever introduced themselves to you. And it felt weird just going up and knocking on random doors to find your mystery man. Maybe he was just shy.
You could understand that. Somehow you felt like no matter what you'd still like him, even if he wasn't the most gorgeous guy in the world. Just from the way he spoke, it pulled you in. He sounded caring, and strong. Passionate too. He never really told you about where he went to school, or if he even did. You really wanted to ask more personal questions, but you didn't want to seem nosy and chase him away with your eagerness.
You'd only been talking for a month now. It's not like you were dating, so he wasn't obligated to tell you anything. You kind of hoped he'd do that on his own.
So you were once again at your ledge. "Leo?"
"Right here. You know I finally saw that movie you were talking about. The croods. Even my brothers were skeptical but it was hilarious. We couldn't stop laughing."
"I know it's a masterpiece I swear." you started giggling, and Leo laughed.
"Really (Y/N), Thank you for recommending it. Raph and I..lately we've been having a hard time. That movie I guess it showed us what it means to have a family. We won't always see things from the same point of view, but at the end of the day, he has my back, and I have his. That's what matters. "
"Well I'm glad I could help. " You sat there for a while in silence, just enjoying the view, and the company of each other.
"Hey (Y/N), can I ask you something?"
"Of course! Ask away."
"If I were...different, what would you think?"
Different?
"Well I guess that depends on your definition of different Leo. Honestly I'd like to think I'm not so shallow to care about something as superficial as looks. " You knew why he was asking. He was probably afraid you would judge him based on how he looked.
"It's not as simple as that." you brows knitted. "Come on, if you're scared don't be. I think as long as you aren't some alien being from another planet we'll be fine. " you laugh in hopes that he'd feel a bit more comforted, but you got nothing but silence in return.
"Leo?" You shifted in your seat, and you're tempted to peek your head over a little so you can catch just a glimpse of him. You don't have to. There's a loud thud, and standing above you on the fire escape is a sight that leaves you breathless. Your eyes are wide, and you can't do much but gape at the six foot green hulk of a man standing in front of you.
"He...has a shell.." So maybe not a man.
"Do you still think that?" That voice, there's no mistaking it, this is definitely Leo. In the flesh, or scales you suppose. His eyes, they're the bluest you've ever seen, and he's wearing a bandana that just makes it more striking. The look he sends you is one that illuminates indifference, A shield. He's probably experienced this reaction often. It's hard not to react this way. What you're seeing right now, it shouldn't be possible. After a long pause of nothing but your staggered breathing, his head lowers.
"I guess you aren't as open minded as you thought." His words are said with so much pain, and you can't even work out a proper word before he's flipping up and away. You just sit there, stiff. You felt frozen in that moment. What lingers is that look in his eyes. He seemed heart broken, and you want to slap yourself for not even calling out to him and apologizing.
"Leo..."
This is probably the last time you'll ever see him.
~~~
"Quit moping around it's annoying. " Leo opens his eyes in response to Raph's statement.
"I'm not moping." He was meditating. It usually helped when he needed to clear his head.
"Ya been acting weird since last night. Did that chick finally see ya or something." His hands tightened in his lap, and Raph doesn't miss the action. "Just...leave me alone Raph." Leo sounded defeated, something Raph thought he'd never see. "There's no shame in admitting ya hurt. You're the leader, not a bulletproof vest." Raph takes a seat next to him, biting down on the toothpick. "Ya know, last time you gave me that crappy speech about true acceptance coming from within. Where did that muck go?" Raph sends him a cocky smile, and Leo can't help but return a small smile. "I guess I'm no good at taking my own advice."
"Not one bit." Leo just sighs, unfolding his legs. It's useless to try and meditate. He can't concentrate when your encounter is running through his head. "If she's half as great as you make her seem, she won't give a crap if you're a mutant or not. Shit like that, it shouldn't matter. If she can't see that then you're just wasting your time. I'm sure there's a whole lot of other girls into your hold uptight know it all attitude."
"You suck at giving compliments Raph."
"Thanks." Both brothers smile, and Raph gives Leo a heavy pat on the shoulder. "Save ya tears for when I kick your ass in training." Raph stands, and Leo shoots after, drawing his swords.
"In your dreams. "
~~~
For the next couple days, you'd wait by your window. It was so weird coming here and not hearing from him. You got so used to the conversation, the company. You wanted to cry, because no matter how many times you called to him, he never answered, all because of you. No wonder he was so scared to show himself. He probably got judged by so many people. How were you better? Even after saying you didn't care. You felt like a hypocrite.
"Leo..I'm sorry." He probably wasn't even there, but you didn't care, you just want to see him again. "I guess I'm no better than some of the kids at my school. They're so focused on what's acceptable that they miss greatness. The way I talk to you is so different. I feel like you get me and you aren't even human, yet the way you think is far more human than the scumbags in this world. You're so considerate and humble and I just want you to know that I'm really sorry. I-I don't care what you are, I just want to talk to you again." you sobbed, hoping that he'd at least come back at some point to see that you were looking for him. With the way you acted, it didn't seem like a possibility.
"Do you mean that, you really don't care.." your eyes lit up. You could hear him climbing down the wall, and when his feet landed on the fire escape this time, you didn't freeze.
"Leo..." He looked down at you a bit guilty when he saw your tears.
"(Y/N).." you could tell he was about to apologize, but you quickly wiped your eyes with the back of your sleeves, smiling up at him as you pushed up the window higher. You took a step back, and Leo got the message. He hesitated for a second, unsure if he should really step in. He didn't want you to faint like April did the first time she saw him. Yet, this was your second meeting, and you looked more curious than afraid this time. So he ducked his head, cautiously inching through the window. When he finally raised his body, you were still watching him.
Now that you had a better look you could make out how muscular he was. He also had two swords strapped to his back. He caught where your eyes drifted and lifted his hand immediately.
"D-Don't worry I only use these against criminals."
"Criminals?"
Wait he couldn't be..could he?
"Are you..the vigilante?" he scratched his head. By the way he was looking around you could tell he hadn't meant to disclose that information. "I'm one of them." So this whole time, no wonder he was always at the top of your apartment. The buildings were a perfect way to get around, especially at night.
"That night when I heard you talking I just..I don't know why but you sounded so defeated. I thought a few words would help lighten your night. After that talk we had though, I couldn't stop thinking about you so I kept coming back." you heart skipped. So it was the same for him. 
"I knew it was only a matter of time before you would ask to meet and I was terrified (Y/N). I didn't want our talks to end, but I felt like I was betraying your trust by not telling you the truth about me. I'm sorry that I made you cry, I never wanted to hurt you."
He had nothing to apologize for, you were the one that stared like he was some freak.
"You don't have to apologize. I'm the one in the wrong. I was just so shocked. I thought aliens were a myth. " He smiled at you.
"I'm not an alien." you stammered.
"O-Oh! S-sorrry I guess I just assumed and I-"
"It's okay. If I were in your shoes I'd think the same. Aliens are real though. "
"Really?"
"Absolutely."
"Woah." you took a step back, dropping on your bed with a wistful look. Guess there was more out there than you initially thought. Leo stepped a bit closer, you could tell he wanted to sit next to you, but he seemed to be debating with himself if it was the right move. You patted the space next to you with the widest smile. He just let out a soft laugh, sitting at the edge of the bed with you. It dipped a little at his added weight, and it made you slide down into his arm. You caught yourself, looking up to tell him sorry.
His hand was right where you'd grip to steady yourself, and your gazes locked. Up close, his eyes were bluer than before. Or maybe that was just your brain playing tricks on you. Your heart was hammering now, and you were absolutely horrified that he could hear it. You didn't want to move, or look away. Leo appeared to be caught in a similar trance.
"Would you mind if I..kissed you Leo.." He blinked in surprise. Surely this was a dream. It had to be. Or some sick joke. That's what he thought. But when he saw the little light shining behind your orbs, he couldn't seem to convince himself it wasn't real. You were so much closer than before, and you were still holding unto his arm. He could feel the heat from your palm. Was that your pulse racing, or his. He couldn't differentiate. He realized then that he hadn't answered your question. You were just watching him expectantly. "I...I..what.." now he forgot how to form proper words.
You leaned in closer, and he gulped. "I want to kiss you...so bad.." you breathed. You were getting closer, and he couldn't trust himself to speak again, so he just moved with you, closing the distance. When your lips touched you were stunned at how soft his were. You inhaled, leaning into his body as you kept a hold on his arm.
Leo was completely lost and taken by the sensation. It was no secret that he'd never kissed before. His palm moved to your cheek, and he responded, pulling you closer. He hoped, wished that this very moment would never end. He craved the sensations that rushed over his body as you parted to get a breath, only to dive back in for another taste. It was mind blowing. When he felt your tongue prodding his lips slightly, he opened them slightly, and your wet appendage dove in. the minute your tongues touched he pulled back. His eyes were wide and you retracted with red cheeks.
"S-Sorry! I-I don't know where that came from I just I-I.."
"I-It's fine. I'm..I've never kissed like that it just surprised me a little." you placed both of your hands in your lap, flustered. That was the first time you'd ever try to french a guy. Turtle. Leo was watching the way you fidgeted. He didn't intend for you to feel bad. It actually felt really good. So good he didn't know what to do so he panicked.
"Can we try again?" He whispered. Your eyes lifted, and you nodded a bit shyly.
This time Leo was the one who initiated the kiss. He liked the way it felt so he didn't waste time with chaste pecks. He opened his mouth and you moaned when his tongue invaded your mouth. This time you positioned yourself closer, and Leo reached down, lifting your hips and placing you right into his lap. Your hands came up, going around his neck as you continued to exchange wet desperate kisses. You supposed another thing you were wrong about was your self control. You used to look at the kids in your class and contemplate how shamelessly hormonal they were. Kissing at the lockers, making out under the bleachers. Now, you sort of understood. Leo was the exception. He was indeed different, but that's what made him great.
354 notes · View notes
wifeofachilles · 3 years
Text
happy fucking birthday, james
hi so i write sometimes and i wrote this when i was trying to get back into it - it's pretty inspired by All The Young Dudes by MsKingBean89 on AO3 and i hope you enjoy it! (ao3)
(this is basically wolfstar angst)
CW: smoking, swearing, drinking
The music was deafening in the Gryffindor common room. The marauders did go all out on birthdays. But Remus wasn’t celebrating. Not exactly, anyway. He wasn’t out there celebrating with Mr James Potter, king of the quidditch field and all-time favourite birthday boy. No, he was sitting in his dorm, alone, cigarette pressed between his lips. Smoke enveloped him but he didn’t bother to open the windows, there was comfort in the feeling of being surrounded.
Thoughts were racing through his head. He tried his best to keep his emotions at bay but it was difficult as the tears pricked the back of his eyes. Remus squeezed the area between his eyes and stared up at the ceiling, trying hard to focus on the terrible rendition of Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy being sung outside in the common room. One voice was loudest: Sirius fucking Black.
“For the love of fuck…” Remus started pacing around the beds, hoping some movement would block out his thoughts. It was going well enough until a knock came at the door.
“Oi, Moony, you in there mate?” There was that voice again, hoarse now from screaming.
“Yeah, you need something?” Before Remus had time to prepare himself the door swung open and he was greeted with a rather sweaty Sirius. Remus’ breath got caught in his throat and the cigarette definitely didn’t help this. Sirius’ shirt was almost completely unbuttoned and his tie was loose around his neck. Remus went red when he realised he had been staring and looked away. But not before noticing the lipstick marks around his neck and chest. Of course, it’s Sirius.
“What you doing moping up here, man?” Sirius raised his eyebrows as he walked over to Remus.
“Fuck off, I’m not moping. Was just in desperate need of a fag.” Remus showed him the half-smoked cigarette.
“That’s your second one in about half an hour, what’s wrong?” What’s wrong? You’re what’s bloody wrong. Remus bit his tongue.
Sirius reached out, putting his hand on Remus’ shoulder, earning a sharp gasp from Remus. He raised his eyebrow at Sirius who didn’t seem very bothered by this reaction.
Remus didn’t know how to react in this situation. He just stared at Sirius, who really didn’t want to move his hand. Did he think this would make him talk about his problems?
“Look, Sirius, I appreciate the, uh, gesture, but I really am fine.” Remus awkwardly wiggled out of his grip and took a drag of the cigarette in his hand. Sirius gave him a look that screamed ‘stop lying to me’. Instead, he just asked for a smoke.
“You’re not going to stop, are you?” Sirius shook his head. Stubbornness really ran in the family.
Remus this time decided to open a window and stared outside as he smoked. The cold air was refreshing and also finally replaced the smokey air in the dorm. Remus tensed up as he felt Sirius behind him. He hated how close Sirius was to him. Hated his stupid eyes that he couldn’t stop staring at and that stupid hair he wished he could just run his hand through, those god awful hands. He hated it all. Or so he tried to tell himself.
“Rem, you’re staring.” Remus blinked away quickly while Sirius chuckled. He fucking chuckled.
“Right, sorry. Zoned out.” Remus rushed for an excuse.
“Hey, I do not blame you for staring.” Sirius winked at him jokingly, making Remus roll his eyes.
“You do that a lot, you know that right?” Remus’ eyes widened.
“What? Zone out? Yeah mate, I get fucking bored listening to you guys.”
“No. You stare, Remus.” Sirius was looking at him teasingly but Remus couldn’t understand what was going on in his mind
“I think you may have the wrong idea there Siri. Not everyone is in love with you.” That one made Sirius laugh.
“Excuse me, I have girls lining up begging for me to date them.” Remus felt that in his chest. Yeah, I guess I’m one of the people in that line.
Everyone at Hogwarts was in love with Sirius. Everyone at Hogwarts also knew about Sirius’ sex drive. Remus was honestly certain that Sirius and James fucked when they were bored. Remus had been with girls, though he was definitely a lot more secretive about it.
Remus was lost in his thoughts again, completely zoned out with the cigarette in his mouth while Sirius rambled on about god knows what.
“Lupin, have you ever kissed a guy?” Remus started choking on the smoke.
“What the fuck, Black?” Remus shot him a stare.
“I was just curious!” Sirius threw his hands up to defend himself, “I just remember you saying you had experience in areas we didn’t.”
Remus choked out a laugh and faced Sirius, “Yes, Pads, I have kissed a guy. A rather attractive one at that.” Sirius’ eyes widened. Shit.
“Oh… wow… okay. Right.” Remus couldn’t tell if he should laugh or stare him down.
“Look, Black, if you’re gonna throw a slur at me just get it over and done with. I promise I’ll laugh.” Remus took one last drag of his cigarette and put it out against the windowsill.
“I wasn’t gonna say anything bad, moony. Just wasn’t expecting that.” Sirius had a somewhat defensive tone. His eyes were darting around before he finally turned back to his cigarette.
“Riiiight…” Remus went to turn around but faced Sirius instead, “What’s the problem, Black?”
“Nothing! I swear!” Remus had knocked him out of his own trance this time.
“You’re doing the zoning out now.”
“Just thinking.”
“About.”
“Kissing you.” Remus’ eyes widened. What the fuck was happening tonight?
“Right, Sirius, how much have you had to drink tonight? I really don’t think you should be drinking anymore.” Remus this time did turn away and started walking towards his bed but was forced back by a pull on his wrist.
“Okay yes I’ve had a bit to drink, but I meant what I said.” Remus shook his head and pulled his arm away.
“Sirius, shut up. I beg of you.” What was this feeling? Remus was angry but he had no idea why he was angry. Sirius was drunk, if they kissed now he would laugh about it later and Remus would continue biting his tongue.
Before he could even think of anything else, Sirius’ lips were on his. Remus took a sharp breath in, breathing him in. He thought maybe he should fight, push him off. But that wasn’t his first thought, his first thought was to pull him in. He wanted to feel all of Sirius. When Remus’ hand reached Sirius’ waist he realised what he had done and practically threw Sirius off of him so he landed against the wall.
“Fucking hell Sirius. I need to take a breather.” Remus grabbed his pack and almost ran out of the dorm.
“Heyyyy, Remussss!” The drunken voice of James shouted after him but Remus just kept walking.
Fuck fuck fuck.
He walked out onto the grounds easily as he was quiet enough to be ignored by anyone around. He lit another cigarette and sat with his back to the wall. What the actual fuck had just happened.
Remus knew he liked Sirius. Hell, he’d been dreaming of the boy for a year now. But that was not how he expected that to go. He thought he could go the rest of his life ignoring how he felt about the Black boy but no, he just had to go and kiss him.
Did Sirius like him? Was that even a possibility? Sirius was known for his rather desperate love for women. But maybe there was a possibility. There was a spark of hope in Remus’ chest. Maybe this could be something he could do. And he was stupid enough to let that hope grow.
After what felt like an hour, though it was probably only half, Remus finally went back into the castle. His hands were bright red and he could see his breath in the air mixed with the smoke of the cigarette. His mind wandered occasionally to the Black boy and that kiss. He wanted to talk to Sirius. He wanted to know what the hell was going on in his mind. He couldn’t help but make up scenarios in his head like a 12-year-old, thinking about a happy ending for both of them.
That all shattered the minute he stepped foot into the common room. The music was still blasting and the room reeked of sweaty teenagers and alcohol. In the middle of the dance floor was Sirius. No, no, in the middle of the dance floor was Sirius practically having sex with this girl. He had his hands all over her and his lips locked with hers. Remus felt the light of hope in his chest slowly burn out. Sirius caught Remus’ eye and immediately froze. There was a sign of guilt in his eyes, regret.
But this was normal for Remus. He was stupid to get his hopes up. He should’ve learnt years ago that he really shouldn't do that.
He ignored the calls for him to join in the party, quietly declining, saying he really wasn’t feeling well. He stayed for maybe ten minutes, drinking whatever James put in front of him, all while ignoring the burning stare of Sirius which we could feel in the back of his neck.
After downing the last of his fire whiskey, Remus put an arm around James and wished him a happy birthday before stalking up to the dorm. He felt Sirius’ eyes on him as he walked across the room. As he walked up the stairs he heard steps behind him. Without turning he called out to the boy following him.
“Go back down Sirius. I want to sleep.” Sirius froze.
“Remus, I’m so sorry.”
“You were drunk, we can laugh about it tomorrow.” With that, Remus continued walking and went into the dorm.
He laughed at himself quietly as a tear rolled down his cheek. God, why am I crying? He couldn’t stop though. Through choked laughs he let the tears fall.
Happy fucking birthday, James.
8 notes · View notes
Note
Can you write a little fluffy piece of you and Auston in present time with being separated because of covid and all
Here you are my dear! It turned out longer than anticipated but oh welllll
Word count: 1.7k
Quarantine sucks, to put it simply. Places are closed, events have been cancelled, everyone is expected to stay home unless it’s essential to leave, and to make it all worse, you and Auston are spending it in different countries.
A week after the NHL announced the suspension of the remainder of the season, Auston flew back to Scottsdale. Seeing as this was before things got too intense, you still had to work and insisted that he go without you. Your office had plans to shut down by the end of that week as a precaution for the pandemic. After that, you knew you would be off for at least two weeks, so the plan was for you to fly to Scottsdale to be with your boyfriend then; but that never happened.
The severity of the situation got real bad real fast, and you were no longer able to travel. Therefore, you ended up having to stay in Toronto alone.
Auston remembers getting the text saying you had cancelled your flight as if it just happened yesterday. He had just woken up, that three-hour time difference between the two cities not helping the situation at all, and was quick in calling you to ask why.
“Aus, you should see the news,” you explained to him. “It’s a whole mess out there, and it only seems to be getting worse. Places are closing down, people are buying ridiculous amounts of toilet paper, and the government is advising that people don’t travel. Trudeau is closing the border, babe. I want to be there with you; I really do. I miss you so much already, but I don’t think I should leave Toronto just yet. Surely, this won’t take too long to blow over, and I’ll be there sooner than we both know it.”
Clearly, that was a bold assumption for you to make because over two weeks have gone by, and the two of you are still separated.
Auston still cannot get over the fact that you got stuck, and alone of all things. He hasn’t stopped beating himself up over it either. In Toronto, you don’t have a roommate to hang out with, seeing as it’s just you and Auston that live in your unit, and that alone only has made him feel so much worse about everything.
With social distancing, you can’t just go over to Mitch and Steph’s like you usually would either. Although it’s gotten to the point where the two have invited you to just stay with them until this all blows over, you keep saying no out of fear that you may have come in contact with the virus and could pass it on to them. That just wouldn’t be fair.
So, all that you really can do now is suck it up and try to make the most out of your isolation, even though it’s really hard sometimes. And god, do you miss your people. Without there being much to do other than the odd thing for work; all you’ve done is clean the condo, get groceries when you need them, watch a lot of Netflix, talk with Steph all while trolling Mitch in the comments on his Twitch streams, and of course, FaceTime you boyfriend as much as possible.
Regardless of how hard you’ve tried, you just haven’t been able to develop a routine you feel motivated enough to stick to. It’s a depressing time. So, the fact that you’re flopped on your bed, staring at the ceiling, with a half-empty bottle of wine resting next to you on the bedside table, and Champagne Supernova blaring from your Bluetooth speaker late on a Friday night; really shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone. You’re in quarantine; you’re allowed to mope.
Completely and utterly bored with your current situation, you roll over onto your side to grab your phone and wine from the table. Ignoring the empty wine glass that was there too, you settle on taking a swig right from the bottle and smiling sadly at the adorable picture of you and Auston that’s set as your lock screen. The image was from last summer when the two of you were on vacation with his family and just makes you feel so warm and fuzzy on the inside, even though it makes you long for how easy times were before all of this.
Great, another wave of depression.
Shaking your head clear of the intruding thoughts that decided to creep into your mind, you unlock your phone and start scrolling through social media… again. After opening Twitter and quickly getting bored with the content on there, you move to Instagram to see what the people and celebrities you follow are up too on there, only to be met by a picture posted by your boyfriend as soon as the app loads.
“No, why!?” You groan and flop onto your back again dramatically. You’re lucky the bottle of wine you’re holding is almost gone, or else it probably would have spilt everywhere with your dramatics, which you’re aware of, but really couldn’t care less about. After a moment of just laying there in silence, you eventually sit back up to take another sip of wine before setting it on the table and unlocking your phone, so you can really take in this new picture.
Everything about the picture feels like a direct attack. Not only is the scenery stunning with the beautiful Arizona sunset in the background, the image also consists of Auston looking fine as hell, shirtless, wearing one of the many snapbacks he owns to keep his hair out of his face, all while supposedly ‘discovering portrait mode.’ Honestly, how dare he?
You just can’t seem to look away. It’s such a good picture and man does it make you miss him even more. Without giving it a second thought, you close out of the app and open FaceTime, suddenly overcome by an intense feeling of neediness.  
Luckily for you, it doesn’t take long for him to answer the call.
“Hey, babe,” he greets before taking a sip of water and plopping down onto his couch. He’s still shirtless, wearing the same snapback, and the sun is still clearly setting out the large windows behind him, which makes it clear that this is a very new picture you just experienced, and you’re unsure if that makes you feel better or worse. “What’s up?”
“I miss you,” you pout and let out a sigh. “So much. And then you had to go and post that on Instagram, which was just rude on your part in complete honesty.”
“Sorry,” he chuckles and shakes his head while you roll your eyes at him. “I miss you too. How was your day?”
“Kind of not great,” you tell him honestly. “I’ve been feeling pretty down.”
“Ah, so that’s why I can hear Oasis playing.”
“They’re on my sad girl hours playlist, alright? What do you want from me?”
“I know they are,” he laughs again, but it isn’t long until his expression grows serious. “And nothing, other than for you to talk to me about what’s bugging you. What’s going on?”
Damn, he knows you well and is so good at easing into these types of conversations.
“It’s just,” you start and take a deep breath in hopes the tears you already feel pricking your eyes don’t decide to overflow. “I miss you, and our friends, and how life was before all of this. I know it’s only been two weeks, but Aus, I feel so alone. And don’t you dare try to blame yourself for that, ok? You’ve done so much for me already even though you’re so far away and honestly, just talking with you helps a lot. It reminds me that I’m not alone. That there’s a lot of people out there who love and care about me, it just sucks so bad being stuck here and it’s messing with my mental health quite a bit.”
“I know, babe, I know,” he soothes and lets out a sigh. “I want nothing more than to be with you right now. Whether that be here or there, I wouldn’t care. I just miss you so much, and I’m so sorry you’re feeling the way that you do. I know that me telling you all of this may not mean much seeing as I’m in a different freaking country, but I mean it. I love you and am always here to talk if you want to.”
Now you’re crying.
“I love you a whole lot.”
“Oh, no, please don’t cry, I-,” he apologizes, but you just shake your head.
“No, it’s ok,” you tell him and use the sleeve of his Maple Leafs sweater you’re wearing to wipe away the tears that broke free. “It feels good to let it all out, you know? Thank you for making me feel comfortable enough to do that.”
“Of course, anytime,” he assures you softly. “I’m always here. And I hope you know that as soon as we’re out of this, you’re not leaving my side. If you thought you could get sick of me before, just wait until we’re back in the same place together.”
“I could never get sick of you, Aus,” you chuckle and shake your head at how dramatic he’s being.
“If quarantine has made me realize anything, it’s never to take the time I get with you for granted ever again,” he explains, making your heart swell with affection. “I mean it.”
“I know,” you reply and smile at him. “The feeling’s mutual. I can’t wait to see you in person again.”
“Me neither. Going to hold on to you a little tighter, that’s for sure.”
He goes on to ask about the positives of your day, and you spend the next little bit telling him all you’ve accomplished in your free time and asking him about his day. After a while of chatting with your boyfriend, you eventually crawl into bed while remaining on the call, and attempt to watch an episode of Ozark together.
You end up falling asleep while on FaceTime, and Auston can’t help but smile at the peaceful image of you sleeping on his phone screen. Knowing he should probably start getting ready for bed soon too, Auston quietly reminds you that he loves you and hangs up before sending you a sweet text to wake up to and forcing himself to think about how all of this will be over soon and he’ll be back with you in no time.
217 notes · View notes
jackdaniel69nice · 4 years
Text
Silent Knights
THIS HAS SEASON 13 SPOILERS! Bruiseshipping (platonic?) hurt/comfort 
Jay hasn't been sleeping well since they left shintaro, Cole decides to figure out what has been keeping him up.
Jay couldn’t sleep. Well to be fair, he never had much to begin with. But this was worse somehow, at the very least when he stays up there could be the faint sounds of video game console games or some movie he pirated off the internet that he would probably never finish watching. Jay liked sound, whether he had to fill that silence himself or not. But now he just seemed to sit there, it was uncanny to say the least, the glow of the frozen television casting a foreign light across the room. His face was particularly obscured in the elongated shadows that covered the small space of the bounty. But even then you could see his brows creased in deep thought.
Cole sighed before walking through the rest of the doorway. He didn’t know if Jay was aware of his presence or not but stepped lightly in hopes of not startling him terribly. He silently sat down beside him on the couch, no reaction. He leaned back trying to act calm and casual, though in reality he was nervous. This was going to be difficult.
“It’s 3:30 you know…you should be back in bed.” He spoke. Jay huffed and turned away slightly, at least that was something. He waited a moment more to see if he would say anything else before speaking again.
“…How long have you been up?” He asked in hopes of coaxing a response from the blue ninja.
“…an hour, maybe” he grunted. It was short but better than nothing, he didn’t like a quiet Jay, it was eerie.
“And you’re up because…?” It looked like Jay rolled his eyes.
“That’s a dumb question.” he said simply, and turned to face him for the first time “why are you?”
Cole didn’t respond right away. Honestly, he was right, they were both up for the same reason. The nightmares always got worse after an adventure. It didn’t feel necessary to say anything.
“I want to talk.” he replied instead, leaning forward to rest his arms on his knees.
“Then talk, I’m not stopping you.”
“You know what I mean Jay.”
“Do I? because I don’t really seem to be the one with issues here, I’m not sure you remember exactly what happened down there, Cole, but I didn’t exactly do much.” He said bitterly.
“Somethings bothering you.”
“The only thing bothering me right now is you, so say what you want or just go” he knew this was going to be difficult, Jay was stubborn, but so was he.
“…Are you mad at me?” He asked. Jay startled.
“W-what?? No of course not! How could I be, you didn’t do anything wrong you- this isn’t your fault- I-“ He blundered for some sort of excuse to offer the earth ninja.
“Then don’t act like it. I’m just trying to help you Jay.” He answered for him.
Jay paused looking guilty for a moment. “…I’m sorry…”
Cole smiled softly “I know, it’s fine.” Reaching out a hand, he laid it gently a top his shoulder feeling the muscles tense briefly. Jay looked at him through the corner of his eye. “I’m worried man, I know it not my place but if I can do something, if you want to talk, I’m here ok.” His face scrunched up like he tasted something sour before looking at the ceilings and letting out a harsh laugh.
“Don’t you have anything else better to do?” There was no aggression in his tone, only resignation.
“Not really, gets kinda boring with you moping around all day.” he laughed again, it sounded easier but there was a weight to it.
He looked at him, really looked, eyebrows pinched with indecision. He examined his face like he was looking for the lie but found only genuine concern and care. Cole was like that, he always wore his heart on his sleeve, when he was wearing sleeves that is. He felt sheepish.
“I don’t…want to bother you.” He finally answered, “You already have so much to deal with about this, for what happened and…about your mom” Cole stiffened but only just barely, “I don’t want to burden you.”
“You’re not a burden Jay, neither are your feelings, we all have our own problems but sharing them with others is what makes them easier to deal with. This isn’t just a one-way street you know, when I need to talk, I’ll come to you. Don’t put other people’s feelings above your own, you matter just as much as the rest of us.”
He nodded mutely; eyes shut tight with budding tears. Cole wasn’t sure who moved first but suddenly Jay was in his arms as he traced soothing circles onto his back. The small lightning master clung to the front of his night shirt trying to compose himself, taking in shaky breaths. But the dam was already broken, and he was losing control of his carefully constructed mask.
“When you were taken…when I saw you chained up down there, I didn’t know what to think.” The words came out in rush, “I thought they must have done something horrible. I thought I should have been able to stop it. I couldn’t let you go through that, not ever, but I failed because we didn’t listen to you and you had to go down there by yourself.”
“And then we were all stuck there, I couldn’t think because it was to much, it was so…hard to face that. I couldn’t help you; I was useless. I couldn’t do a thing. But I should of, because I knew how much it hurt and I was just being selfish again and- “
“But then we were out, and we all got separated. But you weren’t there, you were gone again and it was just like all those times before; with the tournament, and when you were…whatever, there was the temple and the…Fall.” Tears were freely streaming down his face by now, “I believed Lloyd when he said you would come back, but I thought you were out there alone and that was so scary. There’s nothing worse than being alone.”
He laughed bitterly, “Right down to that stupid spider, I-I thought for a second it was…” he didn’t finish the thought, only shaking his head.
“Adams not so bad, and that’s coming from someone who’s hates spiders.” Cole joked. Jay didn’t respond. He curled further into himself and put his head in his knees. Cole gathered his thoughts, it was…a lot…he wasn’t called motormouth for nothing. There’s was much he didn’t understand, what he did know was that Jay blamed himself, that he had felt scared, and he was afraid of losing him. Gosh he wasn’t good with words.
“Hey.” He raised his hand, tracing digits through rust colored hair, trying to coax him from his shell. He looked up at him with teary eyes.
“We are all ok now aren’t we? Here on the bounty, you and me right now. It doesn’t matter if you made mistakes in the past, everyone does, I don’t blame you and you shouldn’t blame yourself. I know things got pretty hairy but even when we’re scared, we push through, you certainly did. I know I can’t promise that everything will go perfectly in the future, but I’m here right now so you just gotta focus on the present, no one can predict the future.” He paused thinking, “Well Zane might but dream prophecies are confusing, the point is we are all safe so we can enjoy that while we have it.”
Jay unfurled, pulling away slightly looking him in the eyes. “But you had to work in the mines Cole! Weren’t you scared, down there by yourself, all alone?” He said with urgency.
“How could I be?” He said with a smile, “when I knew you were coming to get me.” Jays eyes widened before he pushed his face into his hands and shook with quiet sobs.
He didn’t know what to do, was he worried for him, or was there something more? He pulled him back towards him, fully wrapping his arms around him almost like he could block out all the pain from reaching him. He hated not knowing.
“Jay…” He took a deep breath and let it out, “To be honest…I was terrified. It was bad, but I knew you guys would find me, and that kept me strong you know. I may be the master of earth, but you guys are my real strength. And with everything about mom…I was really uncertain, and it brought up a lot of memories. But I knew that that pain was part of the past and I had to move beyond it. Just like you will. You’re good Jay, trust me on that at least.”
Jay nodded but continued to shake and cry. Cole understood, he needed the relief. He pushed his face into the nest of auburn hair and hummed a lullaby, one his mom would often sing for him. It was fair to say they were both tear covered and exhausted by sunrise. They didn’t bother going back to bed, opting to sleep on the couch. Neither of them awoke for several hours, hearts full and content.
Tumblr media
42 notes · View notes
schrijverr · 3 years
Text
I Wrote My Own Deliverance
Chapter 10 out of 10
Alexander Hamilton is reborn as Alex Hambleton. He is desperate not to make the same mistakes twice, but it seems he is stuck in the narrative, unable to get out. Familiar faces pop up all around him as he attempts to keep his previous life a secret and write himself out of the story.
On AO3.
Ships: none
Warnings: none, but tell me if I missed anything or if you want me to tag something!!
~~~~~~~~~~~
“- Oh my god, you have been roommates with Aaron Burr for over a year!”
Alex winced. He’d hoped everyone had forgotten that detail, but it seemed not as the entire room exploded once more. With a last “What the shit, Alex,” from Laurens the room fell quiet to look at him expectantly.
He shrugged and said: “I made my peace with Burr, he’s pretty cool.”
And with that the whole room was send into disarray again.
“How!” John shrieked, “He murdered you!”
“Yeah and he had his reasons. I hate to inform you, but I was the one that said yes to the duel and insulted him the whole way through.” Alex shot back, “Besides, I thought we had just established that this time things can be different. If I can believe in Aaron, I can believe in myself. So far he’s been nothing but civil to me, he’s just another student wanting to live his life.”
It was quiet for a moment and Alex offered: “And Betsy already punched him, so even-Steven?”
“Only you, Alexander.” Eliza face palmed.
“I try.” he grinned.
“Wait,” Angelica said and Alex was scared of what she remembered, “You already knew at the party. Why did you come if you knew you would get punched?”
“First of, I didn’t want to assume and I only put the pieces together when the fist was already flying at my face. Second, I kinda did deserve that.” he told her.
“That’s not exactly healthy.” John pointed out, but he shut up after a look from Alex, the other had too much dirt on him and John was honestly the last who could talk about fighting as a coping mechanism.
Alex stuck his tongue out, as he turned and grabbed his phone: “Speaking of the party and Aaron, I probably need to find him before he does something stupid with his self-esteem issues and blame complex, like no offense, but our last meeting was not the most important thing ever.”
“You died.” Lafayette pointed out.
“Happens to the best of us,” Alex shrugged, “Case and point.”
“Ego much.” John grumbled and Alex just smiled as he called Aaron anonymously, the man probably wouldn’t pick up otherwise.
“Ah, yes, with me, Alex, your favourite and only roommate.”
“No, I’m not here to yell at you. I would have done that already if I wanted to.”
“Yeah, naturally, I never come back on my words.”
“They’re here yeah, already yelled at me and stuff.”
“I cannot with a 100% certainty promise that you will not get punched, but I am willing to try and convince them otherwise.”
He hung up and turned to the others: “Aaron is coming over, be nice.”
“Why would I be nice.” John pouted, arms crossed.
“Because, my dear Laurens, I have forgiven him and he could use some friends.” Alex explained.
“I’m with John here, I don’t want to be his friend.” Eliza mirrored John.
Alex smiled and said: “I know, Betsy, I know, but he hasn’t had it easy either. Even more of a nay-sayer and all around stick in the mud this time around. He has no one, you know how much it sucks to have no one.”
“Theodosia?” she asked, but Alex could tell her bleeding heart was giving in.
“Hasn’t come back, yet.” he smiled sadly at her.
“Alright, I won’t punch him then.” she threw her hands in the air.
They turned to John, who moped: “Whatever, but I’m not going to be nice.”
“Oh come on, man.” Herc said, “Making fun of Burr was always fun, it’ll be like the good old days when we were right and he told us to shut up.”
“You have a warped idea of fun, mon ami.” Laf told him.
“Like you weren’t there every single time to join in.” Herc shot back as they dissolved into squabbling.
Alex smiled and finally felt like he could take a breath. He had his friends around him again and no matter what the world threw at him, he could take it. He was home.
A knock at the door shook him out of his musings and he threw a look over his shoulder as he walked over to the door. Before he opened it, he warned: “Be nice.”
Aaron was indeed standing there and Alex greeted him cheerily: “Aaron Burr, sir.”
“Alexander” Aaron greeted with a wince.
“Come on, don’t be like that. If I had known you would become more boring, I would have never written another public document to fuck with you.” Alex grinned.
“Don’t antagonize him, Alex.” Eliza called out.
“Yeah, we all know how that turned out last time.” John huffed.
The comments didn’t really help, because Aaron winced as he started to back away, clearly on the brink of running.
“Guys, please try to be civil.” it earned Alex some disbelieving snorts, “Look at him, he’s about to cry. Are you gonna make Aaron Bartow cry?”
“Oh, it’s Aaron Bartow now?” John huffed.
“Yes. Yes, it is.” Alex said, “Just like you’re John Lawson and I’m Alex Hambleton. We’re not the same people anymore and I forgave Aaron a long time ago. He deserves people who know and understand as much as the next person.”
“You forgive me?” Aaron voice sounded so small and fragile that all retorts that might have been, died before they were spoken.
“I do.” Alex told him, “I saw your face, you know? When you shot. You were bracing for a bullet and when it didn’t come you looked so heartbroken and surprised. Van Ness had to drag you away. I don’t forget easily. I know I’m abrasive and a loud mouth that has an opinion on everything, who makes rash decisions, so I don’t blame you for wanting to protect yourself.”
Aaron looked at him wordlessly, unsure of what to say.
Alex grinned: “I’m aware you have a stick up your ass, but are you going to stare at my handsome face the entire day or am I going to get a hug.”
“You’re an asshole.” Aaron told him as he clutched the other tightly.
“I’ve been told.” Alex replied, merely holding on just as strong.
It took a while before either let go, but Alex was planning to hide for today and standing in the hallway with his door open was not ideal, especially as time went on and more people got the news, so he pried Aaron off him and led him inside.
He turned back to properly close the door when it was slammed open by none other than Tom, or Thomas Jefferson, he wasn’t sure who he had in front of him.
“You.” he pointed at Alex, whose eyes grew wide as he held up his hands, probably Jefferson he thought, “You motherfucker.”
Jefferson slammed down his hand and seethed: “This, really? You and your fucking pamphlets have to- Ugh! It’s always fucking you with your big ego and thousands of words that don’t even make sense most of the time and-”
“Hey, dude, calm down.” Alex cut him off, “What got you so mad?”
“This triggered my memories.” Jefferson admitted with venom, “Not the history lessons, not my face in buildings, not my legacy fucking me over or even that stupid musical. But you and your constant need for attention.”
“Ah,” Alex is quite unsure about what to say and one look at the others confirmed that neither did they, so he weakly offered, “At least you remember?”
“Like you think that’s a good thing, I read your stupid pamphlet, Lord knows I did, and it sucks, asshole.” Jefferson snarled, “We both know that.”
“It gets better when you find people.” Alex said, gesturing to the others, who waved awkwardly.
“Maybe, but I don’t really have anybody, now do I?” Jefferson told him and Alex would’ve never thought he’d see the day where he sympathized with Jefferson, though in front of him was Tom as well, not just Jefferson anymore.
“I thought we were kind of friends?” he replied, “I like debating with you and we agree more this time and, look, I know people we knew.”
Jefferson looked at him as if he had three heads as he slowly said: “You, Alexander Hamilton, you- you want to be friends? With me? Did you hit your head? Like is there something wrong with you and are you missing your memories? You hate me.”
“No, I hate Thomas Jefferson and if I recall correctly, your name is Tom Jamesson.” Alex replied, “And if you look closely, you’ll see Aaron Bartow sitting there. Besides, I think I can handle more debating in my life.”
“Only you would keep someone in your life to fight with them.” Tom said with a faked annoyance, “Though my name is actually Thomas Jamesson, so get your fact straight.”
“Well, then, Thomas, welcome to my humble abode, now please shut the door behind you before nosy strangers come in.” Alex said when Thomas’ reply wasn’t a blunt no.
Thomas snorted: “You published your life story again and you’re worried about nosy strangers.”
“It’s about the principle of the thing, I wanna do it all official, maybe hold a press conference, get a dinner thrown in my honor, make a long speech that everyone is forced to listen to. It’ll be great.” he grinned.
“The fact that I believe you is disturbing.” Angelica piped up.
And so they roped Thomas into the fray that was their little Revolution crew as they talked about their life now and their life back then. They compared notes on what was different and what was the same.
Apparently the Schuyler sisters were now childhood best friends and Angelicas memories had triggered those of the others. Eliza remarked: “Peggy was so sad she couldn't come to slap you into next week, but she has her internship.”
“Not looking forward to that.” Alex winced, “And I thought she liked me?”
“She does, she just likes fighting more.” Angelica commented humorously, “Being able to have opinions and do stuff, has really gotten her out of her 18th century shell.”
“Good for her.” Alex nodded.
“That’s what I said!” John exclaimed excitedly.
They moved on to Lafayette, who told them it was same old French noble blood and being send off to America for better education and to explore the world. He pouted over not being as close to Washington anymore, but brightened when he told them about the tea they drank together every other Wednesday.
John didn’t say anything about his father, besides the fact that he was a Senator and still a dick, or other family for that matter, but he was ecstatic that he would be able to become a Doctor this time around and he loved his study dearly.
Thomas didn’t really say much either. He was still struggling with connecting his two identities and what that meant for him. When asked about James, he sadly said: “If I saw him, we didn’t recognize each other.”
“Hey, we’ll find him if he’s out there.” Alex comforted him, then joked, “He probably remembered and tried to stay as far away from here as possible to avoid seeing me again.”
It got a small huff of amusement out of Thomas.
Alex looked at Aaron to ask about him, when his phone rang. Nervously he picked up: “Hello, yes, this is Alex Hambleton speaking.”
“Ah, you’ve read it then.”
“I understand.”
“Within the month?” Alex asked surprised, “Then I get to keep my scholarship? Thank you so much, sir!”
He turned to the others who were waiting expectantly as he grinned: “Looks like I’m getting registered and my plan for world domination is still on track.”
“I’ll drink to that.” Herc yelled, getting cheers from the others.
Alex smiled in the midst of his friends with a future bright and obtainable. A story ready for him to write how he saw fit, unbound by mistakes of the past.
He might be an old story in a new place, but there was always room for a rewrite. They were already on the second draft anyway.
5 notes · View notes
lightsupinthenorth · 4 years
Text
Just a Harringrove ficlet I couldn’t get out of my mind. 
Read on AO3
*
Ever since he had been drugged by the Russians, Steve could sometimes hear people’s thoughts. He couldn’t control it, and it didn’t happen all that often, but it was becoming more and more frequent. It had freaked him out, at first, and now it just made him miserable. He wished it would just stop.
Really, he didn’t need to hear Keith insulting his intelligence (he did that out loud plenty enough), or his father thinking about his latest affair at the breakfast table (the rare times Steve’s parents bothered to show up in their own house), or, God forbid, Karen Wheeler daydreaming about Billy (gross).
Speaking about Billy. He was the first (and hopefully the last) to find out about Steve’s newly found ability (if you could even call it that, considering he had no control over it whatsoever). Steve had not been planning on telling him. In fact, he had been adamant about not telling anyone.
No one would want to hang out with someone who could see inside their head, and Steve didn’t know what he’d do if his friends stopped hanging out with him. His life sucked enough as it was, he didn’t want to end up completely alone in addition to that.
Billy and Steve had become friends after the whole Starcourt debacle. Steve had visited him pretty much every day when he was in the hospital. The accident had changed him a lot, either that or it had made the real Billy stop hiding behind his anger.
He had been wary of Steve and his intentions, in the beginning, but he had warmed up to him soon enough, and nowadays they spent a lot of time together. He had developed a huge crush on Billy along the way, too. That probably explained why Steve had let his guard down enough to slip up in his presence.
They had been in Steve’s kitchen, eating the dinner Steve had spent most of the evening cooking.
Billy had said “Damn, that’s the best thing I’ve ever eaten.”
And Steve had asked: “Wow, thanks. You really think so?”
Billy had stopped eating and had stared at Steve, wide-eyed, completely frozen in place. That was how Steve had realized Billy had actually not spoken, but rather thought, his compliment. Oops.
“What the fuck, Steve?” Billy had finally asked, finding his voice again. He hadn’t really sounded angry, but that had done nothing to reassure Steve, who’d started panicking.
“What…? I… uh…” He had searched his brain for a believable lie, but had come up empty. Stupid, he was so stupid! He had felt like crying.
“Steve, come on, breathe.” Billy had told him, putting a hand on his over the table.
When Steve had finally calmed down, Billy had asked: “what was that about?” and Steve had told him the truth, nervous but relieved to finally admit it to someone.
“I… can’t control it or anything… It’s just… I hear what people think, sometimes…”
“Does it happen often?”
“Not really. It’s the first time I hear anything from you, in fact.”
“Oh… so, you can’t hear any of what I’m thinking right now?”
“No. Not a thing.”
“Okay.”
Billy had seemed to take it in stride. It must only have been a façade, though, because after that evening, he had started ignoring Steve.
Steve would still see him around, sometimes, because Hawkins was a small town and they kept driving the kids around everywhere, so they were bound to cross paths. Billy was civil every time, but he never talked to Steve for long, always finding an excuse to leave quickly. And Steve might had been dumb, but he wasn’t THAT dumb. He knew Billy didn’t want to be around him anymore because of the intermittent telepathy. He thought Steve was a freak and wanted nothing to do with him anymore.
Steve did his best to appear unbothered around the kids, but the end of his friendship with Billy had hit him hard. He had accepted since the beginning that they wouldn’t ever be more than friends, but now they weren’t even that anymore, and it hurt. Steve felt abandoned, and he spent many evenings on Robin’s couch, crying in a pint of ice-cream. He was pathetic, and if he didn’t get it together again soon, Robin would stop hanging out with him to.
Also, she kept asking him why Billy and he didn’t spend time together anymore, but Steve stayed vague. At first, he had wondered if maybe Robin was experiencing the same problem as he was, but when he had finally asked her if she was suffering any side effect from the Russian drug, she had answered in the negative. Unfortunately, it had led to her returning Steve the question. Of course, it had. So, he had lied, saying that sometimes he didn’t want to tell the truth but couldn’t help but tell it anyway.
No one else could find out about the telepathy. He wouldn’t be able to deal with Robin leaving him too, or the kids looking at him like he was some freaky science experiment. There was a chance they’d like it. They were weird like that. But Steve wanted to be their friend, not their science project.
He heard their worried thoughts about him often, these days, but he didn’t do anything about it. He felt bad about preferring to keep his secret over reassuring the kids, but he just… he just couldn’t bring himself to tell them.
“Why are you and Billy not hanging out anymore?” After Robin’s insistent questioning had finally stopped, Max was taking over. Just Steve’s luck.
“We’ve just been busy with our own stuff.”
And wasn’t that the worst lie ever? As if Max didn’t know Steve was doing jack-shit beside going to his boring work and spending evenings at Robin’s.
She rolled his eyes but didn’t reply. Steve still heard her think “ugh, boys are dumb”, and “I’m gonna kill my brother”, though.
He nearly yelled at her not to mention anything to Billy but stopped himself right on time.
A few hours after he had dropped Max at her house, there was a knock on his front door. Steve was moping on the couch, curled in a ball, in front of a shitty talk-show he wasn’t paying any mind to. He was planning on ignoring whoever was at the door, but the person wouldn’t quit and kept banging on his door. Honestly, what the fuck. He had a doorbell.
“Harrington, I can see your car in the driveway. I know you’re here. Open the fucking door. Please.”
The please was added as an afterthought but coming from Billy it still meant a lot.
And fuck. What was he doing here? Max had talked to him, hadn’t she? Maybe Billy had told her Steve’s secret. And maybe she would tell the other kids. Oh God, no one would want to see Steve anymore.
It didn’t explain why Billy had come here, though. It could have been to beat Steve’s face in for being a freak, but somehow that didn’t make sense. Billy wasn’t like that anymore. Plus, why wouldn’t he have done that sooner? He had known about Steve for weeks.
Steve opened the door, trying to appear calm.
“Hey… can I come in?” Billy asked.
Steve nodded and stepped aside. They went to the living room but neither of them sat down.
“Look Steve, I’m… I’m really sorry.”
Steve’s jaw dropped. That wasn’t… that wasn’t what he had been expecting.
“I freaked out… about what you told me the other night. I just… I was afraid you would hear what I think about you. But that doesn’t excuse what I did. I shouldn’t have just started ignoring you like that. I should have told you the truth. I was a coward and I’m sorry.”
What did Billy mean? Had he never liked Steve? Had he just been tolerating his presence all along? It had to be it… why wouldn’t he have wanted Steve to hear his thoughts if they had been positive?
It sadly made sense… Steve had been the one initiating their friendship, after all.
“Oh… well… Thanks for apologizing. And yeah, you should have talked to me, and you didn’t have to spend all this time with me if you didn’t feel like it. It was nice of you to try, though.” Steve rambled, fidgeting with his hands.
“Hey, hey, Steve, what the hell are you on about?”
“Well, you obviously never wanted us to be friends, but you played along for my benefit. It’s fine, I get it”
“Uh uh, sorry but no, pretty boy, you don’t ‘get it’. You’re getting it all wrong.”
Steve dropped his gaze. Of course he was getting all wrong. He was stupid.  
“Steve, listen to me, please.”
Something in Billy’s tone made Steve look up again.
“I didn’t want you to hear what I think about you because… because I have feelings for you… the romantic kind, I mean. So, I fled, because you obviously don’t feel the same way, and I didn’t want it to ruin our friendship. But hey, would you look at that, I ended up ruining it anyway.”
Billy laughed self-depreciatingly.
“Now, you’re the one getting it all wrong Billy.” Steve said, his expression not giving away anything.
“You mean you still want to be friends?” he looked as hopeful as surprised.
“No, I don’t want to be friends.”
Billy’s face fell, and that just would not do, so Steve took the two strides separating him from Billy and pulled him by the collar of his shirt until their lips collided. Billy moaned, either from the surprise or the kiss or a bit of both. And when they settled in Steve’s bed later on, cuddling together, and that Billy thought “Fuck, I love him so much”, Steve decided that the telepathy might not have been the worst thing to happen to him.
 *
This was super rushed, I hope it didn’t suck too much
50 notes · View notes
hecohansen31 · 5 years
Text
A Little Gain Of Her
(Hawthorne! Michael Langdon+Virgin! Reader (+Succubus)
(A/N): Hello there, lovelies!
We finally made it!
I finally managed to publish the last part of “A Liittle Loss of Innocence” (Part One, Part Two)  and I am very nervous about it, because I hope it will be a worth finale to this series, which is one of my first finieshed series (MIRACLES DO HAPPEN).
As always: want to give me some feedback, heart, comments and reblog help me a lot (alongside DMs about what you liked or asks about what you didn’t, just remeber to be nice and kind!).
Feedback means the WORLD to us, fanfics writers and we will love you for ever if you do!
So I hope you will enjoy it, and let me know if you have any asks that might turn up in spin-offs for this series, love you, lovelies!
(also guys there is a little disclaimer at the end, please read it, also I put it in the end so it wouldn’t spoil the ending, love you!)
SUMMARY: Your broken heart is reayd for more heartbreak when Michael reveals a painful discovery about how their relationship started...
Will you be able to forgive me or is he gone too far?
WORDS: 9,2 K (Yeah... I might have written a bit...)
WARNINGS: Loss of Virginity (So there will be a bit of blood), Sex, Oral Sex (Male-Female receiving) A Bit of Dirty Talk, Heartbreak (Angst), Relationship Starting With Dub-Con, Teasing and Edging (also Demonic Infestetation and Succubus).
Tumblr media
One of the true facts that had made her laugh was the one which said that you could die from heartbreak.
She found it so stupid, mostly when she honestly believed that a break-up, something which usual provoked heartbreak, wasn’t something so heavy and horrible to make your heart stop pumping blood.
But she didn’t laugh now, that her own heart was beating so slowly.
Almost as slowly her entire life, which had become unmoving, stuck in a hellish limbo, between routine and the will to do nothing but stay on her bed and cry there, hiding herself under the fluffy blankets, meanwhile she held her pillow to her chest, trying to suppress its shudders, but they still shook her body till late at night, when exhaustion took over.
She honestly felt on the brink of death and laughed at her own stupid heart for being this frail.
Even more disappointed in herself because what had happened to her wasn’t a break-up, but a straight up rejection.
(She honestly didn’t know how else to describe Michael’s words, so arrogant and light, but they still broke her heart in its deepest place).
She had, at first, felt so ridiculously stupid for having believed that he might have wanted something else from her, other than her body.
Her first reaction had been anger, throwing things in each way she could, her magic acting out randomly snapping doors closed and open continuously meanwhile books opened and glass shattered.
She had calmed down after all the energy had been lost and there had been left nothing but her emptiness.
There she asked herself why he couldn’t love her, till it heartbreakingly broke her heart to see herself in her worst state for a man.
(A man she had trusted and somehow might have loved).
But it hurt her too much and since then any distraction had been good for her, but at night, when distractions couldn’t help her, her bed ate her and exhaustion soothed her broken heart, mended roughly with a band-aid, meanwhile she hoped for her brain would just forget about him.
But it didn’t.
She had good reasons to believe that it would never forget him.
That night her bed had seemed extremely tempting, but her friends, sad and bored of seeing her moping around and moving as fast as she could, had made her take part to the annual “Witch Ball”.
In the mortal world she had never cared for these things, usually not having a knight, but right now she felt even less interested, tired and sad, definitely not in the best shape to be pushed into a pretty dress and high heels.
But she hadn’t been able to say no to her friends, when she knew they were the saddest to see her waste away, but they didn’t dare to ask for any details (although from the growls Madison had mumbled when Michael had walked in the library, one day, while they were there, she knew that they had some general ideas on what might have caused her sickness) not wanting to bring bad memories on her mind.
She knew they just wanted to make her feel better, but she didn’t know if it might have been possible, anymore.
She had no will and hope for happiness, no matter the sweet daily enjoyment she tried to find, to avoid that black hole that was in her heart.
So, she had agreed to slip herself in an elegant pink dress, the colors bringing a bit of softness in her sad sad smile, meanwhile a few good touches of make-up and to her hair had brought her back from the village of the dead, bringing a bit of colors to her face, meanwhile the hair finally out of her face were elegant and not in a messy or silly bun.
She had talked with her friends and laughed, meanwhile it all went on, meanwhile it all happened, feeling her heart soar a bit during the silly conversations; she definitely felt grateful for her friends, she was lucky to have them, but she didn’t want her sadness to be contagious for her friends.
She felt the like the only one who stuck out: single, a virgin and sad.
But she tried to keep that thought out of her head.
But it all came back as she was alone, waiting for Coco and Mallory to get ready, although from the noise she could hear behind their door, they weren’t using make-up, but definitely making out, which made her roll her eyes, a sarcastic laugh escaping her lips, meanwhile she played with her dress, dusting it off and raising it to avoid it getting caught in her nude heels.
And as if the universe heard her complain, the source of it appeared in front of her eyes.
She mistook him for a vision, much better than any water in a desert.
He wore an elegant tuxedo, but not the typical one she had seen each Hawthorne boy wore.
No, he just couldn’t avoid being a peacock even in this event, going for an elegant black tuxedo but with red designs over it, beautiful but also clearly not something everyone could pull off, unlike him, who looked completely at ease in the assemble.
His elegant dark red loafers made no sound as he moved closer to her, looking at the floor, till he raised his head to meet her eyes, which had been waiting for his azure ones and when they met she immediately saw the change in them.
The arrogant look softened.
He seemed almost happy to see her.
And she couldn’t believe he could lie so well.
She immediately lowered her eyes to the ground, her legs twisting under her, pushing her as far away from him as she could, her back hitting the soft plush velvet of the walls, her naked shoulder brushing against it, and she felt nothing but pure coldness.
He seemed to take in all her reaction, saddened by it, biting his lips slowly, pushing his bottom between his teeth, tormenting it as if he wanted to torture himself almost as she did, making himself feel like her; but she just couldn’t believe that he felt any kind of emotion different from lust or arrogance.
He still moved closer, but stopped close enough for them to have a relatively big space between them, and leaving her a little piece of air to breathe in peace.
But all the air she was taking in to avoid a mental breakdown was immediately taken away from what he said her.
-I know it doesn’t matter… but you look gorgeous, tonight-.
Of course, it didn’t matter.
But she still couldn’t help but release the first honest and genuine smile in weeks, on her lips.
-… you don’t look so bad yourself- she mumbled, immediately looking away: he didn’t deserve her love and he didn’t deserve her pity.
He let out an embarrassed laugh, his hair being thrown back, catching the light in a perfect arch of golden she wanted to touch and mess, but she just pushed her nails further in the weak skin of her palms.
She half-expected him to walk away as he had done before, almost challenged him to do it, minding him no attention, hoping for Mallory and Coco to finish their make-out session in order to finally be able to go to the ball together.
But the universe had somehow declared she couldn’t have a moment of peace.
-… (Y/N)…- she wanted to tell him not to say her name with those plump lips of his, the most sensual sound came out of them, a prayer of a fool in the throes of pleasure and they hadn’t even touched -…I think we need to talk-.
-What for? – her hysterics were shown through her tone, full of derision and annoyance, a mask to keep him from knowing how much she had wished for those words, praying that one day he would barge in her bedroom, and ask for her forgiveness on his knees.
She would cruelly deny him on most nights she dreamed it, but during her most feverish dreams… what they hadn’t been able to conclude happened, with her hands in his hair, pulling and his mouth latched on her nipples, exactly just like last time.
-… I think that you know that last time I sent you away, rather unkindly…- his tone matched hers, clearly not wanting to appear a lesser opponent, but softness shone in his eyes, asking and begging for her to give him a chance to talk, as if he was speaking to a wounded animal.
She was a wounded deer in his eyes, but the truth was that she was much worse, a broken woman, with him having destroyed the thing that held her entire heart together.
-You say “unpolitely” I say “you are an asshole, and I don’t need to encourage your assholish views”- she honestly wanted to take that step further, the one that would hurt him as he had hurt her, but she just couldn’t turn around and leave him there.
She had been always too sweet for this game of love.
-… I know that I am indeed even worse than what you believe me to be, but explanations might bring some kind of relief to your aching soul, because if you feel even a miniscule amount of the pain I have in my heart, I feel nothing but respect for you for walking around with your head high, you are much stronger than what I believed-.
She honestly didn’t want to give up just because of his silver-tongue, each word delivered perfectly with a troubled expression, as if he found it difficult to discover she had missed him almost as much as he had missed her.
Suddenly his eye bags seemed more evident and the frown on her mouth was laced with wrinkles made from worry and not enough sleep: she had been too focused on his outfit, to notice he was a broken man as well.
But she hadn’t been the one to close the door in his face, last time.
-… you might speak, but in English and I don’t want silly words to cover up the major fuck-up you did- she couldn’t hide the fact that she had been infected by the little laughter of relief he left out and he took a step closer, almost coming closer enough to touch her, eyeing her arms, naked because of the sleeveless dress.
He wanted to touch her so badly, but her dark eyes sought nothing but a reason to run away and disappear under his touch warned him.
-I promise I will do my best not to take any of your precious time- he promised, charmingly and she just rolled her eyes and almost went back to remind him about the “no pretty words policy” -… but I just couldn’t take you, last time-.
She blushed at the mention of the natural act they had almost committed to, last time.
-I was more than willing to go on- she pointed out, trying to lessen the warmth on her cheeks, she just hoped that it might not be too evident.
-And so was I- she honestly felt like she could breathe.
For the entire time, she had almost been worried that he might have seriously not wanted her, horrified by her appearance, her willingness or just because she wasn’t enough, this had sent her even farther down the self-pity road, her self-esteem completely buried under her own ugliness.
-… then why? – she breathed out, coming closer, meanwhile his eyes eyed the ground extremely carefully,
-I couldn’t… when you don’t know the truth, the entire truth- she looked at him confused, but he kept his eyes away from her -… I was the one who summoned the succubus and linked it to you-.
Her heart missed a beat and she was sure she had heard it in the wrong away: he didn’t mean what he meant, he just couldn’t.
-… you didn’t seem interested in me, or better… I thought you were too shy to… I know it was a very bad idea, but I thought you might need to lower your inhibitions for us to have a conversation-.
-We didn’t have a conversation- her tone was rough, pure stone against metal and he knew he had said the exact worst thing ever -… and it wasn’t my inhibitions you lowered: they were the barriers I put up so people like you don’t hurt me-.
Not to talk about the fact that she felt so dirty at the thought the he just manipulated her.
-…. I know! I know, I did wrong… and pushed you into something you didn’t want to, but… I need you, desperately…-.
-You can beg all you want, things will never change- she finally had the strength to do what she had been supposed to do since the start of this conversation -I hate you even more-.
She turned around, not sparing a single look for him: anger and shame burned on her cheeks and in her chest, meanwhile sadness screamed in her head, enough that she barely heard what Michael had to say, before she left him and his life.
Forever.
For good.
It was barely a whisper but…
“It’s all too bad, because my heart can only love you”.
She had been trying to clear her mind, but halfway through the ball she had been unable to do anything to stop the tremors in her hands due to her conflicting emotions, which had made her unable to focus, and knowing that her friends would get worried she did her best in order to hide every sign of discomfort, before taking advantage of the opening of the dances to jump herself in the bathroom.
There she had brushed calmly her hair out of her face, before dipping without much gentleness her face under it, knowing it would ruin the masterpiece that her friends had created, but she felt it prick at her skin annoyingly, meanwhile with her hands she pulled on the zipper on the side of her dress, finally let breathing again.
She knew she must have looked pathetic, halfway through a panic attack, Michael’s words circling in her mind mixing together.
“I was the one who summoned the succubus” and then “It’s all too bad, because my heart can only love you”.
It was all an all too sick game he liked to play, toying with her as a cat did with a mouse, which he wanted to eat.
But his voice sounded so genuine and his expression was so hurt.
But what he had done with the succubus was something she couldn’t forgive.
He had not only violated her trust but also he had violated her in a way that made her feel sick.
Clearly, she had had some kind of attraction on him, enough for the incubus spell to work on her, but it still didn’t allow him to take advantage of it in that way.
It was as if she had been dosed with aphrodisiacs and, although it wasn’t legal, it wasn’t the ideal start of a relationship she had to say.
How could she trust him, again?
She was checking herself out in the mirror, collecting the mascara under her eyes, when slowly she saw a black stain appear on the mirror; at first she thought it was just a little bit of mascara which had ended in her eyes, but slowly she realized that it was on the mirror.
And it was becoming more and more larger.
Till it completely shadowed her, as if she there was a shadow in the mirror, completely mimicking her body.
And when she had a “shadow twin”, it finally escaped the mirror, dividing itself from it and slowly gaining new features, till she had again her succubus twin in front of her.
-What the hell?! Weren’t you supposed to be gone? – she honestly didn’t know what to say, mostly after she had discovered that it was Michael the puppeteer behind her; maybe he had had wanted to try again to make her succumb to his wishes, using the succubus and its power.
But she wouldn’t fall again, immediately invoking a protection spell.
-… let’s just say that I am not here on my count- she replied, meanwhile twirling her ponytail and checking out her new outfit -… by the way… I like this outfit, brings out the little virgin you are-.
She tried not to blush but, apparently, her idea that it was Michael who was behind all of this was true… she honestly should have gone straight up to Cordelia…
-Your lover is in danger- she almost chocked on air, looking at her confused, who just shoot back at her a direct and annoyed glance as if to say “oh you didn’t know” -… I am here, because my previous master left the gate open and I have heard that some creatures might want to escape their realities-.
Which would explain her presence here, even if she and Michael had sent her away.
The gate, which linked the demonic world and human world, was still open, allowing many other demons to walk in comfortably, if they found the right road.
… which could be a total coverage for the succubus to get her to go to Michael, with a fake excuse.
-… you don’t believe me- it clearly shown in her eyes and the incubus saw it -… and I honestly know that we started with the wrong foot…-.
-Michael used you to make me fuck me, doesn’t it bother you? – it honestly bothered her, mostly when the succubus sported her matching face.
-Sweetie, I thrive on sexual energy- explained the succubus, checking herself out in the mirror, popping her lips to let the lip-gloss touch her lips in order to expand more the glossy substance -… I honestly am happy as long as that boy fucks something and satisfies is darkest desires-.
She seemed honestly enough for being an agent of chaos and a demon.
-… so I should trust you-.
-… or you couldn’t and your boyfriend will be eaten by a sloth demon… I don’t make the rules …I…- she just looked down, something almost human shining in her bottomless eyes -… I just came here to warn you so that you can save your lover boy-.
-First of all, he isn’t my boyfriend, second of all I hate him so I might as well leave him to been eaten by a sloth demon…- she could have laughed at the absurdity of the entire situation -… he betrayed me and used a succubus on me! -.
-And he told you he did it! – the succubus exclaimed almost too personally as if the thing personally shook her: he had been truthful with her, so he got a free ticked to exit the “you are an asshole” prison -… what I am trying to say is that his life would have been easier whether he hadn’t told you anything about the entire thing… he would have gotten the girl, but he chose to go down the harder path, knowing you would hate him for this-.
She was speechless, because she hadn’t thought about that in that perspective and although it wasn’t exactly a point in favor of Michael, she could see that he could have completely gotten the girl without much effort, hiding for ever that secret: it would have worked and it was a plan that would have perfectly suited arrogant Michael.
But why hadn’t he chosen it?
-You are miserable without him, and he is miserable without you… so… - the succubus batted her eyelashes as if this was the easiest of logics -… you should be together so you can be happy together-.
She didn’t need to word the question out, because the succubus answered it immediately:
-I might have this… call it prevision… that he might like you, more than as a fuckbuddy-.
-He is still an asshole- she replied, because even if she excused him, this would take a long time to be solved.
-It wouldn’t be funny if he wasn’t- replied the succubus, before offering her hand -… we better hurry up, those sloth demons can be very different from their names-.
The succubus followed her staying invisible to her and her friends, meanwhile she questioned Michael’s asking for his whereabouts and she alerted John Henry.
“Is it necessary?” had mumbled the succubus, in her ear, after she had alerted the older warlock, with the excuse of “Langdon probably has some bug in his stomach, he retreated early”.
“Do you have any knowledge on how to kill a demon more than me and him?” the succubus had stayed silent “Then professor Moore comes with us”.
“Wouldn’t you be enough?”.
It depended on whether Michael had opened a gate of hell or just a small door, and it was always good to have back up.
And also, if this was a ploy made by Michael to get her to fall in his arms, she would have been saved by John Henry.
Play me once, shame on you.
Play me twice, shame on me.
She rushed through the stairs, meanwhile the warlock tried to keep her pace behind her, screaming to go slower “or she would break a leg and there would two wounded in the infirmary”.
-… I honestly don’t think that I am the most appropriate person for this…-mumbled the warlock, clearly missing the punch he had previously spiked -… you have much better healers-.
She had chosen John Henry because she knew that he could keep a secret and knew reservation better than Hawthorne’s rules, whereas alerting Cordelia would have gotten both her and Michael in trouble.
-… I just thought it would be appropriate to make Michael be visited by a male- she honestly knew it sounded as a lie, but they were five minutes from Michael’s room and she just needed for the warlock to open the door, mostly because she already could smell the stench of rotten eggs.
“What the heck did you do, Michael?” she mumbled, mentally, thinking that if she ever thought about a relationship with him, she would have burned all his demonology books.
They immediately rushed feeling inhuman screams and when they opened the door the succubus mumbled an “oh shit” in her ear, meanwhile John Henry straight up went:
-… you said it was a bug, (L/N)? – and looked at the demons who were covering Michael’s furniture, in the form of bugs, indeed -… because there are many more and those aren’t normal bugs…-.
“… those are Damnation Beasts” murmured the succubus in her ear, before retreating slowly when a bug crawled towards her “… they eat human skin, I would stay away from them”.
-Thank you for your suggestion- she said between gritted teeth, looking around the room for any sign of Michael, but there were none and this made her heart sunk.
It hadn’t been a ploy to get her to go back to him and…
… what if she had been a minute too late and Michael had already been eaten by the Damnation Beasts and whatever had exited the door he had left open?
-(L/N) might you think about lending me a hand to kill all those insects- mumbled John Henry, meanwhile he shielded them with a protection spell.
-Yes, of course…- but she was halfway through and overthinking attack “where the hell was Michael?!” -… I am just…-.
-… panicking? – humored her the man, meanwhile he joined their hands -… just follow me, (L/N)-.
She nodded, knowing that she would try her best to at least avoid those beasts going around her school, and then she could think about Michael… she hoped.
The succubus’ hand went around her protectively, hissing badly at the flesh-easting bastards, meanwhile she repeated each Latin word John Henry uttered, till a strong blow of energy emerged from both of them, making her close her eyes for the intensity of it and when she opened them, there was nothing left of the insects, but it wasn’t done.
John immediately moved toward Michael’s bed, immediately grabbing an open book, from where a bat shaped demon was trying to escape just to get pushed back in by John, meanwhile the man muttered curses and enchantments, she honestly couldn’t tell the difference.
Bu she also couldn’t tell where Michael had been: there was no trace of him… and she was seriously starting to panic…
… and that made her hurt more than the thought of him rejecting her or tricking her.
She looked around, anxiety taking over till she finally saw Michael on the threshold looking at them confused.
-Just a demonic infestation, nothing out of the ordinary, Langdon- mumbled John Henry adjusting his hair, but Michael hadn’t seen the most surprising thing ever yet, with the way she basically threw herself at him, too worried about the fact that she had almost lost him.
He immediately tightened the hold, immerging himself in the crook of her neck, meanwhile she could feel the succubus snicker.
-You are alive- she mumbled, caressing his face as if to make sure he was real, meanwhile he grabbed her hand to bring it to his lips.
-… and you are not pissed with me anymore? – he seemed surprised again, as if he hadn’t realized she just thought he was lost forever, but before she could answer properly, John spoke up.
-… I am, you get detention, Mr Langdon, and you will have to pass me every demonology book you own- he affirmed meanwhile Michael tried to protest, saying that those books were his and nobody…
-…I will personally bring them to you, Mr Moore- she replied to John, meanwhile sending a look to Michael which clearly said “it’s either this or I set fire to them and you together”, which made him relent.
-… and you are also in detention, Mrs (L/N), I honestly don’t know what you have to do with this, but a lot of amazing spiked punch was wasted to solve this…- he mumbled, rolling his eyes, before eyeing the succubus as if he could see her, which he was actually doing -… and if the lady wants to join me, I can assure her the best night of her life-.
She honestly didn’t need to see her teacher smirking at the succubus who had her appearance (although she was sure it had a different appearance to John Henry, since it usually mimicked the appearance of the beloved by its beholder), and the succubus smirked back.
-Are they flirting? -Michael asked meanwhile she just tried to erase this memory from the night.
“Just give me a minute, handsome” replied the succubus softly and purring, sending a kiss on his way and turning around towards her and Michael “Have fun, lovelies! And be safe, he is a manchild so remember con…!”.
She petrified the succubus in her place, sending her an annoyed huff, before the succubus disappeared with a light laugh and in a twirl of smoke.
-… that was traumatizing…-.
-You weren’t here five minutes ago witnessing the literal demonic bug infestation in your room, so you can’t talk- she replied, meanwhile turning around to avoid being so close to him, her skin already tingling at the memory of how they had been embraced early -… next time, close whatever you are doing before starting to jerk off-.
He erupted in laughter and she did the same a few second back, grabbing her aching belly, clearly proved by what had happened that night: a confession, a demonic infestation and her teacher flirting with a succubus version of herself…
Well, at least life with Michael was always interesting.
-I will keep it mind, next time- he mumbled, meanwhile strolling in his room and starting to collect books, old leather and pentagrams on them told her they were the famous demonology books -… thank you for saving my life, although I do not deserve it-.
-You are an asshole not a waste of time, don’t misunderstand me- because no matter what he did, she couldn’t hate, she couldn’t stay away, it would hurt too much, so the best way was to clear things up and start again, start over and not forget about anything but try to move past it -… I would have honestly preferred that you came up to me and asked me out, but you went for the succubus method, which is… a bit fucked up… but we can work around it if you promise two things…-.
He stopped whatever he was doing, moving closer and kneeling down on the soft carpeted floor, in a worshipping attitude, his hands half a touch from setting down on her hips, but they kept to themselves for which she was grateful; she wasn’t sure she could handle his touch.
-Ask me the sun and the moon, and they shall be yours- he proclaimed reverently, getting an amused glare from her.
-… ok, now it’s three things: stop being melodramatic for the love of God, it’s annoying- she mumbled, throwing her hands in the air and rolling her eyes.
-C’mon, it’s making you laugh! – he replied, protesting weakly, too blinded by her smile, the intensity of him was suddenly too much for her and warmth came to her chilled bones.
-… let me talk in peace, ok? – she pleaded, knowing a look at his azure eyes would get her forgetting about all this -… first thing: you promise not to use magic on me, no matter what, because if you do, we are done and I will let Madison castrate you, got me? -.
He immediately nodded, not even slightly smiling at the Madison’s mention, but he honestly looked ready to take an oath and she couldn’t help but feel like he was indeed making an oath to her.
-… second: no matter what, we talk things, we don’t hide them between each other’s back, got me? – she knew honesty and faith in the other were the only thing that might have made this relationship work out… maybe… -… and even these things might make me not want to forgive you, understood? -.
Because she had been worried for him, but now that her mind was again cold and down to Earth, she was still wounded for his little “trick”.
But she also felt comforted that, in the end, he had chosen not to take the hoax too far.
-What I want to do right now is get to know you, like real people do, with no succubus or magic- he seemed the most sincere she had ever seen him -… I swear on whatever I might hold dear to my heart, that I will respect your rules and you-.
She just nodded, feeling that it had been enough adventurous and heartbreaking for her to retire to her chamber, but just as she was moving out of his room, she heard a whine of protest, turning around to see a disgruntled Michael:
-What is it? – she asked curious and wondering if there were still some of those flesh-eating assholes.
-We just made a deal, and it’s always good to seal it with a kiss- he mumbled cockily, looking very intensively to her pink lips, a bit swollen from the time she had spent biting them and from which a loud laugh erupted, at his affirmation.
-Have a good night with your right hand, Langdon- she replied, turning again around and flicking him her middle finger -… don’t let the flesh-eating demons bite your ass-.
Three months in a relationship with Langdon was something she had never thought of having.
And honestly it had been much easier than what she had suspected.
Not that it had been without any difficulties (one being the fact that Michael was a manchild and would constantly insist on cuddle even in the middle of a studying session) but Michael had never ever broken the rules she had given him (except the one against him being a drama queen, but she couldn’t actually say nothing when it got her one of the best dates ever, under the stars, music playing form the speakers they had set…).
So, it was only natural it all came down to that night.
Her and Michael had joined her friends in the common room, to chat a bit in a comfortable atmosphere, since they had all finished their final exams, which prompted them to let loose, embracing each other’s partners in the chaise-longue or on the sofa.
Soft conversations went on till they became pure nonsense and soon everybody went back to their respective room, except her and Michael: she had slowly made her way onto his lap, meanwhile he gently caressed her back, tracing mindless patterns and he gently traced his lips across her neck, a sweet caress which promised much more, igniting her core.
No matter the physical closeness they had slowly reached through their nights together, in her bed (because his held much more painful memories) mumbling nonsense and philosophical conversations or falling asleep at first as far as they could, not trusting their bodies, just to find themselves tangled in each other’s arms, the following morning.
But nothing sexual had been going on, and she almost regretted that her personal succubus had disappeared.
Still, she was happy of the new relationship which had grown between her and Michael a more genuine one, based on the mutual respect of each other and a tiny (huge) dose of trust.
He loved her and, slowly, she had started feeling the exact same for him, not scared of being hurt anymore.
And because of that she was finally ready to take the last step.
She slowly brought her hand to link it with his, but she went even farther bringing his hand slowly closer and closer to her center, slipping it under her skirt, making him feel her throbbing core, slightly wet due to the attraction and sexual frustration mixed with the stress of exams.
-… what is the meaning of this? – Michael asked, surprised, but his hand made no signs to move away, meanwhile his eyes became pitch black because of lust, and she gently brushed his hand on her, feeling herself became wetter under his soft ministrations, the blue of her thong slowly becoming darker because of the wet patch on it.
-Sweetie, I thought you were smarter than that- she replied, giggling to hide her embarrassment, although she had done the first move, she still didn’t know if Michael would like that approach or if he would be scared from it: boys were always intimidated by strong women.
And she half wanted to pull her hand away, when he took control, his fingers brushing away the silky feelings of her panties to brush the real thing, much softer than the fabric.
But he was a very well-developed man…
… when he wanted to…
She brought her hands down, taken by surprise at that gesture and not knowing how to react: she had been touch-starved for so long, only fulfilling her desires through her small fingers (which were nothing compared to Michael’s skilled ones) and the sudden touch scared her and excited her at the same time.
-… I think you are trying to seduce me, Mrs (L/N)- he mumbled, before he again dived into her neck, but this time he bit it, without any gentleness, he wanted to mark her down, meanwhile his fingers pushed themselves further, not inside of her but they started taking in her most sacred place, collecting sticky wetness which was quick to form, under Michael’s ministrations -… aren’t you, sweetheart? -.
She just nodded, shyly, a bit at trouble with speaking due to his expert hands working her gently but with enough perseverance that she felt something grow in her stomach, small waves of pleasure, still too little to make her lose her mind, but enough to keep her distracted, even more when he stared at her expectantly, those pool of azure eyes looking at any sign of discomfort.
-Words, (Y/N)- he insisted, knowing that she was speechless -… I need those in order to know what you want-.
-Which is you, by the way- he had relented his grasp on her, his fingers stilling, but right on her clit, provoking small and constant waves of pleasure, and she spoke in sarcasm something she was very fluent in -… I wanted you for so long and I have had enough of dancing around this-.
He laughed, gentleness shining in his eyes, before he leaned down to kiss her, retreating their mixed hands from her skin, which prompted her protest to be slowly brought up from her mouth to his and it made him smirk in the kiss.
They separated slowly, after they had sealed their path.
-… if we are going to do this…- his word let out her time to go back and reject this situation, but she didn’t -… I would like a bed, where to take you gently, as in your worst romance novel-.
-I am still ashamed that you found my stack of erotica- she blushed, and he leaned down to kiss the blush from both her cheeks, just resulting in her cheeks becoming far more warmer, meanwhile he gently brushed his excitement coated fingers against her thighs, cleaning them in her mouth, which she opened for him, sucking on them sensually or at least she tried.
She knew she had succeeded when Michael raised her up alongside him, his bulge pressing against her front, the evidence that she hadn’t been the only one affected by this.
-… I am not- he replied, giggling, meanwhile she grasped his neck to keep herself steady on him, her legs tangling automatically against his sides -… now I know what you like in bed: a very bad stall…-.
-Finish that phrase and they will never find your body- she replied, blushing at her horrible taste in books, but Michael just hugged her tighter, showing support no matter what.
-I love you, even if you have a terrible taste in bookish genres- he just confessed, nuzzling his nose against hers, before another butterfly kiss which left her wanting more.
-I love you, even though you are the biggest tease- she replied, before trying to piston her feet against him to make him go faster as indeed… a “stallion”.
He just kissed her forehead, before setting her down, their hands moved closer, linking themselves together immediately, before they moved off to his chamber, hers wouldn’t be proper, since she shared it with Madison and if with tonight she wished to delete anything that occurred in the past, she could stay in his room and avoid the thought that this is where he rejected her.
He felt her insecurity, strolling through her veins and shining in her eyes, and as soon as they were behind closed door: he pushed her against the door, shielding her head gently and kissing her passionately.
Her legs were pulled against his side, meanwhile he grinned himself against her, making the kiss become more sloppy and lazy, open mouthed with his tongue lazily exploring hers, trailing his teeth against her bottom lips, pulling on it, and meeting her eyes in the darkest of expression, his desire coursing through their mouths, meanwhile he pushed himself with such a savage fierceness, as if he wanted to penetrate her in that moment.
She was the first one to pull away, in desperate need of air.
He allowed it, but his hands started to occupy themselves with more important matters: her clothes.
He disrobed her gently, but each piece of skin meant new excitement shining in his eyes, like a child, finally allowed to eat candies… and he laced to one of her nipples immediately, without even properly unlacing her bra, just letting it hang out around her waist, with her shirt thrown off somewhere, not that she had followed its course, when she had the beautiful masterpiece of Michael Langdon sucking her nipples as if his life depended on it under her eyes.
His golden curls, obscuring the view, but they only caressed her skin, heightening her sensations.
-… you taste like the sweetest of honey- he mumbled, finally retreating himself, in the pause before he latched himself to her other nipple -…and you look like the proudest goddess-.
-What did I say about pretty words? – she just huffed, meanwhile a moan was brought out of herself.
-… they excite you- mumbled the bastard, smirking, meanwhile flicking roughly a nipple with his tongue, his hand going under her skirt again, skimming gently over her wetness as if to make her even more aware of what he had just said.
-I have a praise kink- she mumbled pushing herself closer against him -… what can I do babe? -.
He kissed her forehead, giggling gently, before he moved with her towards his plush bed, pushing her down on it, meanwhile he joined her so they could keep doing what they were doing before, with much more ease.
There, time felt so slow, no rushed touches anymore, no matter the fact that they were aching for each other.
And she had a chance to have her own turn with Michael, slowly unbuttoning his shirt, kissing every new inch of piece of skin, meanwhile her fingers tangled with his hair, him becoming mildly calm under her soft ministration, meanwhile he finally unclasped her bran and unzipped skirt, pushing it away, leaving her just in her blue panties.
And him in his dark briefs.
They met halfway again, this time the kiss was hungry and filled with pure gluttony of the other, searching for their most intimate taste, meanwhile their teeth clashed together.
And when they separated he tasted off her from her entire body, licking a big stripe of her skin with his tongue, from her collarbones to her ear, remaining there to suck a little hickey in her skin, before branding a few others on her skin, till she had enough to be mistaken for a unfortunate creature meeting a nest of mosquitos.
But she would deal with it in the morning, she had something more important in her mind.
She moved her hand in search of his length and when she met it, over the fabric, she stroked him gently stealing a breath from his mouth, which was swiftly pulled in a surprised expression, one that made her giggle, meanwhile she dosed his neck of kisses, tracing with her other hand his collarbones.
Her ministrations didn’t stop.
She remembered still the way he had teased her when she had been on his lap.
She wasn’t even in the slightest merciful: she slipped her hand in his boxer but just a few moments, enough to spread the pre-cum forming on its tip on her palm, but pulling it away swiftly, much to Michael’s protests.
And he decided to take the situation in his hands, switching their positions.
-…  my little virgin wants to play- he mumbled, his hands trapping hers, much littler than his -… well I shall not neglect her desires anymore-.
And he moved down on her, till he came in contact with her little panties, pushing them back with the hand that wasn’t holding her down.
She helped him get them out her legs twisting to accompany his movement but as soon as his face was the closest to her mound she pulled him up, protesting.
-I want to taste you- her voice seemed so wanton that she even surprised herself at her own affirmation, but Michael just sweetly smiled at her.
-You did, last time, we were together- he remembered her, meanwhile gently pushing her hair out of her face, to look at her face without it being in the way, the softness in his face, brought her to want another little kiss, her lips pouting a bit -… and I miss your taste-.
She blushed, meanwhile he just smirked, his hands moving against her front, gently cupping one of her breasts and then an idea hit her.
-I might have had an idea that might make both of us happy- she’d have to thank all the erotica books if it worked, if it didn’t, she could blame it all on them -… but I need to switch our positions-.
And jokingly she switched their positions, rolling on him, and being on top, swiftly moving till she was facing his bulge, meanwhile she carefully positioned her mound over his face, waiting for him to approve her idea, which came faster than she thought, when he reached up to lick a long strip of her, from the skin that linked her rosy hole to her clit.
She moaned out, almost losing her grip on him, but she quickly recovered, slipping him out of his briefs, hearing a trembling moan leaving his lips, but he suffocated it in her center, pushing his tongue into her most sacred area, just to retrieve more slick and suck on her little pearl.
And this started a challenge between them, not for their own pleasures but for the other’s.
She started teasing him at first with just her hand, caressing him with regard for his most sensitive areas, before her mouth gently engulfed him.
She did it slowly at first, only tasting the tip, trying to focus her best on his pleasure, but waves of pleasure were soon building in her stomach, because of Michael’s careful attention, meanwhile he was trying to imprint every piece of skin of her most sacred center.
And drink her as if she was spilling ambrosia.
She took much more, a bit annoyed by her hair, falling on her face, but she tried her best, feeling Michael moan in her mound, even take a moment, when she licked the tip, before swiftly pushing herself down the entirety of it, her hands massaging his balls.
They knew they had been bringing each other’s to their relative peaks, but they didn’t dare to give up, as if it was seriously a competition.
And she won it, although she didn’t make Michael cum, but he let go the self-imposed calm he had chosen to tease her to devour her.
And she came.
A rough scream in her mouth and her entire body trembling, enough that she fell on his body, unable to resist, meanwhile her entire body shut down due to pleasure coursing through the entirety of it.
And when she regained consciousness, Michael gently guided her through it, his fingers gently caressing her arms, meanwhile he breathed slowly to make her mimic the pace.
-… that was intense- much more intense than last time, with a freaking succubus.
-I want to say that it is because we love each other, but if I so much as try to be romantic you will knock all my teeth out- he mumbled sweetly, meanwhile he cradled her close and, still feeling boneless due to the mind shattering orgasm.
She giggled, blindly reaching out for him, to kiss him gently, meanwhile she tangled her fingers in his hair, swapping a bit of her taste with her.
-You can say “I love you”, I won’t punch you for that- she mumbled, on his lips feeling the laugh on it and there she opened her eyes, finding him looking at her enamored, meanwhile he whispered softly:
-I love you- and with his eyes completely azure for his honesty she couldn’t deny him the matching and heartfelt reply.
-I love you too- she kissed him again, feeling him against her thigh (which ruined a bit the mood, but… she had also accepted that with that relationship) still hard and she remembered what they were there for -… and I am ready-.
He kissed her for what felt ages, as if he wanted this to last forever.
And she honestly felt like the moment before it all happened was much more intense then the what followed, when Michael distanced himself from her, just a bit and she could still wrap her hands around him, to steady herself.
-… it might hurt a bit, so if you want to back out at any given moment, all you have to do is tell me- he caressed her thighs gently, and under his hands, goosebumps appeared, meanwhile she nodded slowly.
-I know it- she replied shyly, meanwhile kissing his cheek moving closer to his ear -… I trust you so much Michael-.
With other guys she had never felt ready, because she was scared that it might disappoint her, that it might tarnish her but worst of all she just felt like it might just not be that special, not worth the wait and after it was done, there would be nothing more.
But she lived for Michael, the sweet touches they shared, the laughs which erupted because of their dumb thoughts, and she knew that no matter what, this wasn’t the end… it was just a natural step, the most natural… and even if her and Michael ended up not being a thing… she wouldn’t have wanted to lose her virginity to anyone else.
-… I won’t betray it- he mumbled, meanwhile he gently kissed the back of her hand, tenderly nuzzling his nose against it -… you are the most precious thing that ever happened to me-.
-No silly words, remember? – she laughed shyly, but answered -… you are the best thing that happened to me-.
And with that… their paths was sealed and he kissed her one last time, meanwhile his hands checked her wetness, only enticed by their soft moment, before gently breaching her entrance with the smooth tip of him, and she immediately tensed, meanwhile Michael guided her through it.
-… calm down, sweetie, you need to relax- and didn’t do anything till she indeed relaxed, pushing with much more gentleness, meanwhile he caressed her head and kneaded her breast to distract  her which worked perfectly and he was able to push halfway in, touching her barrier.
Before proceeding, he took a last look at her face, no show of pain and no tension, just a relaxed and curious expression and before shredding her last inch of innocence he kissed her, feeling her bite his bottom lip to suppress the pain.
-Do I …? – he felt the need to stop, she knew it, no matter that his face was distorted in pleasure.
-Just give me a few minutes- she mumbled, meanwhile she tried her best to slowly adjust herself, to Michael’s length, scared by the fact that it wasn’t all in and it was already overwhelming her -… please don’t move-.
-All the time in the world- he replied, meanwhile he gently kissed her forehead.
Slowly, much more slowly than the actual time that passed, she started not feeling the pain anymore, stuck in a limbo of “not-yet-pleasure” but “neither-still-in-pain”, but all she had to wait was for Michael to slowly move and something was struck inside her, the thrill of a little excitement.
-Move- she mumbled, even going as far as to push a bit Michael with the legs that had wrapped themselves around him -… for the love of God-.
-Got it! – he giggled, but she felt the clearly aroused bit in it and he actually started moving, slowly and then as she encouraged him with moans and her nails pushing themselves in her skin faster, her eyes finding his, finding him under a strange spell, hers.
He started groaning with much more impatience and his manhood throbbed inside of her and she knew he was close, and although she was excited and not in pain, she was so far away from that state of true ecstasy.
Not for long, at least, because Michael decided to take the matters in his hand, quite literally: gently caressing her clit, meanwhile he gently moved her legs up his shoulder hitting her further inside her, a spot that made her gasp at its sudden finding, meanwhile his peace also increased.
-… you don’t understand how beautiful you look- he whispered in her ear and she just nodded; the intensity of the new sudden sensation made her feel teary.
-Please please… keep going- she quivered, under him, meanwhile her legs tried to find a better way to adjust themselves on his shoulder, her muscles aching a bit, meanwhile she met him for a kiss, before pushing one down on his chest -Don’t stop-.
-You are so close, I can feel you clenching around me- and she could feel him throbbing, his pace becoming more erratic -… that’s the best feeling in the world-.
-… even better than my mouth around it? - she didn’t know where the dirty talk came from and she could see the surprise from Michael, but her dignity was long gone.
-A thousand times better- he replied, smirking, meanwhile she finally felt so close…-… I am close-.
-I am close too- she repeated, meanwhile her nails sink themselves in him, and she felt herself let go, no preparations needed, totally lost in the moment, just feeling warmth in her, meanwhile he groaned deeply in her ears, bringing her back to reality.
He fell ungracefully on top of her and she groaned loudly, before breathing out a breathy laugh.
-… that was…- he tried to breath, completely out of breath.
-… say it with your words honey- she made fun of him, but gently cuddled closer, feeling like as if she wasn’t attached to him anymore as she was before, although he was still in her, soft but in her.
-… we are going to have a second round, if you still have the energy to joke around- he joked, kissing her forehead, lovingly; there wasn’t even a bit of bite in his tone.
-Oh, you love when I am smarter than you- she fought back, meanwhile he gently exited her, making her leave out a grunt of pain at being empty.
-I love you, in general- he giggled -… a bit less when you are a smartass-.
And then he got up, on his knees, to collect the covers to shield her body, finally self-consciousness appearing so she was grateful to hide under them, also because she was honestly feeling more and more sleepy, both for the emotional stress and the physical one.
Michael immediately moved closer laying a kiss before he gently whispered that he would be getting in the bathroom to collect a few things in order to clean up, which he did gently, meanwhile cooing at her, throwing the towels in the laundry chest, avoiding make her take a look at the blood on it, but she could see it on the mattress.
She didn’t regret it.
Because in the end they were together in this, she knew it when he cuddled closer to her, bringing them together again, sleep slowly taking over.
In the end…
… with a little loss of her innocence.
… with a little loss of his dignity.
… he finally had a little gain of her.
---
Little disclaimer: the relationship between Reader and Michael started as dub-con, so I just wanted you to know that I don’t support or condone in any way, in real life, dyb-con or non-con; consent is important, never forget about it!
I really hope you will like it, lovelies!
Let me know what you thought about it, with DMs or asks or hearts or reblogs, I honestly love hearing all your thoughts!
 @ccodyfern @so-langdon @sojournmichael @rocketgirl2410 @langdonsplaytoy @dyns33 @blakewaterxx @crispygiantsaladgarden @counterculture-aesthetic @ace-fiction @langdons-little-girl @hadeslittlewhore @justabadwitch @ahstatejameskai @soph3218 @uinen-ulmiel @mega-combusken @hplotrfan @kleineshaschen @langdonsinferno  @nightsblackroses @tcc-gizmachine @msfandomblog @grim-adventures58 @littlepsychos-world @sister-langdon @grungyfeministhoe
172 notes · View notes
writingpaperghost · 4 years
Text
I Would Offer it Happy With a Smile On My Face (Chapter 12)
Chapter 12: The World is Waiting For You, The Warrior of Light Who Will Light Up the Dark Night!
Juggler and Asahi have some talks and guess who shows up. Meanwhile, the Minatos and Zero at least get confirmation that Asahi’s alright.
AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24860734/chapters/62488918
Asahi followed Mr. Juggler as he briskly walked out of the warehouse. He seemed to be ignoring her, a fact that irritated her greatly. “Hey!” She was jogging to catch up, “What’s this all about?”
He didn’t stop, but he did peek over his shoulder at her, “What are you taking about?”
“I mean - where are you going?” She asked, but then added, unable to stop herself, “Are you moping because you lost to that Nova?”
Mr. Juggler stopped, then spun around, bending slightly to face her, surprisingly close, “I am not moping.” He said, “I do not mope.”
Asahi gives him a smile, “It’s okay if you’re a bit down or worried, if Nova shows up again, I can help!”
The scowl on Mr. Juggler’s face only deepened, “No.”
“No what?”
He turned around, straightening, and began walking away again, “I don’t need your help.”
She didn’t really get it. So he had some trouble - okay maybe a lot of trouble - with Nova. She’s had plenty of trouble with fighting some Kaiju’s before, it’s nothing really to be embarrassed about. So why did it seem like Mr. Juggler was so upset about it?
“Alright,” She said, “But if Nova shows up, are you going to insist on fighting it alone, or will you just let me?”
He seemed to get a bit annoyed at her continuing to bug him. Or at least, that’s probably how he saw it. But as Asahi saw it, she was just being concerned for this man. Especially given she was pretty sure he might try to fight Nova if it showed up again. And he’d probably get his butt kicked, again.
She also noticed that he pointedly did not answer her question. Now, it didn’t take a genius to figure out why he didn’t. It probably meant that he was, as she was expecting him to, planning to fight Nova again. Assuming Nova showed up while he was around, though something told her he’d stick around, if only because he couldn’t stand having lost like that.  But, then again, she could be wrong. Maybe if Nova showed up again he’d leave it to her, since he’d made it pretty clear that he didn’t want her help.
And he still kept walking. Honestly, at this point he was just ignoring her, like he made that pretty clear given he just kept walking and wasn’t even trying to respond to her question. How rude. Well, Asahi would just have to tell him how rude he was being. She jogs to catch up with him, because he seemed to be walking rather fast and took longer steps than she did.
“Really,” She called out, “What’s wrong? You’re being awfully rude.”
Mr. Juggler stop or so much as make a movement to acknowledge her, despite the fact that she had jogged up beside him. He just kept facing ahead, maybe even trying to move faster. “There is nothing wrong. And I don’t care about being rude.” He said, “If you care so much about people, go find someone who might appreciate your concern.”
She huffed, “Has anyone ever told you about how you’re so… not happy?”
“It’s safe to say you’re the first.” Mr. Juggler spared her a slight glance, “Though that might just be because few else are foolish enough to try.”
It took her a moment to realize what he’d said, “Hey!” She let out an indignant cry, “Someone as rude as you must not have any friends.”
“I don’t,” He said, though he didn’t seem at all fazed by the fact, “And I do not want any.”
“Why not?” Mr. Juggler had finally stopped walking, instead choosing to lean against a fence. He faced her now, looking more irritated than anything. Still, Asahi pushed on, “Friends are nice.”
“They’re not, really,” He looked off towards a different direction, clearly not all that interested in the conversation. “All they bring is more problems. But you do seem like the type to think otherwise.”
He looked at her, a smug look working its way onto his face, “You’re an Ultra after all, and you Ultras do so love those friends of yours.” He shrugged, “Seems like you’re just giving yourself another weakness. But I’ve long since decided Ultras never really make sense.”
“’Never really make sense’…?” Asahi echoed, “I don’t follow?”
She looks at him for a moment before shrugging, “I would think people like you, who are always so unhappy and alone would make less sense.” She watched him before continuing, “I mean, I was friends with someone who was… Kinda like you. Not really all that happy. She didn’t have friends when I met her, she’d had some before, but not then. At the time, she was focused on this big dangerous thing that was heading towards Earth. But she still seemed to like having a friend.”
And she finds her hand slipping into her pocket, pressing Regina’s Crystal into her palm. “So I can’t imagine that you really enjoy being alone.” She continued, “But then again, I guess I can’t really say for sure.”
Mr. Juggler was silent for a few seconds after she finished speaking, he seemed to be regarding her. Then, with no warning, he began to laugh. “Oh, you Ultras really are all the same. How long did it take for you to think up that one?” He didn’t really stop laughing, just pausing to talk. “I will admit, I haven’t heard that one before, but really. You’ve heard one heroic spiel, you’ve heard them all.” And the laughing continued.
Asahi drops her smile, an annoyed frown making its way onto her face. “Oh sure,” She grumbled, “Now don’t go busting a spleen in amusement.”
That did get his laughing to start to die down, though it still took a bit. The smug look ono his face was still there, too, which kind of annoyed her. “Ah, there it is.”
“There what is?”
He pushed himself off the fence, leaning down to meet her eyes, “The bitterness.” He responded, “I was starting to think you were all sunshine and rainbows.”
It took a lot of will for Asahi not to take a step back. Mr. Juggler was weird, yes, but there was something else about him, something that rubbed her the wrong way. But it was also in a way… not exactly familiar but also is, in a distant and vague way. She pushed a smile onto her face and asked, “What do you even mean?”
And he did move back a bit, if only to spin around so that his back was now facing her. But unlike earlier when he turned away from her, he didn’t seem to be trying to end the conversation. No, he’d seemed to have stopped trying to do that a while ago. Now, he was just being… dramatic. “That smile you try so hard to keep up… Just how much of it is an act?” He paused, like he wanted her to respond. When she began to do so, he simply continued, cutting her off. “Or... What about your power as an Ultra? That wasn’t always the power of an Ultra, was it?”
While there was a lot to unpack there, the main thing that started to making Asahi freak was he knew there wasn’t always an Ultrawoman Grigio. Which was an odd thing for him to know. And she didn’t really know how he knew that. Nor did she know why he brought it up. But no matter how much she wanted to question him, or to even say something at all, the words weren’t coming. She opened her mouth but no sound came out.
“You and I are a lot more similar than you think,” He continued, turning back to face her. The smug smile was still on his face. “We both were passed up to be an Ultra, only to get a second rate, monstrous power. The only difference is you eventually became an Ultra.”
What was he talking about…? A lot of what he was saying there didn’t make all that much sense. Unless he thought she, was Saki? Or rather, thought she was the first person to hold this power? That was possible. Maybe. There were other things that didn’t really make sense, but maybe that was because she didn’t really know how Saki got ahold of this power in the first place.
“I think…” She managed, forcing her smile, “I think you’re a bit mixed up.” It came out quieter than she would have liked.
“Oh, am I?” Thankfully, Mr. Juggler backed up, at least a bit. He stilled looked smug. It made her wonder if he had two emotions. Grouchy and smug. “Please, do enlighten me.”
“Well, Saki was Grigio before me, she was the one with ability to become monsters.” Asahi explained, taking a deep breath “When she, when she died, she gave me her Gyro and Crystals. When I tried to help my brothers and Ri-Geed, I was able to become Grigio.”
While Mr. Juggler took in what she said, he had a strange look on his face. What Asahi was thinking was a cross between thoughtful and bored, but she wasn’t really sure. It was sometimes hard to figure out what emotion he was showing, as she was finding.
“One way or another,” He finally spoke, “You aren’t a lot like your brothers. Ultrawoman or not, there’s something about you that makes you different.”
Asahi liked to think that she was pretty good at dealing with all the things that might come when a day was becoming less and less happy. Grouchy people, saying whatever it might be grouchy people might say, especially in the effort to get under her skin. But somehow, Mr. Juggler was doing particularly well at saying things that got to her, and she wasn’t really sure she was going to be able to continue taking it.
“What does it matter?” She barely restrains from snapping at him. She couldn’t let him see that he was bugging her. That would pretty much be letting him win. “Different or not, I can still help people.”
He laughed, “Oh, you certainly can,” He turned his back to her, heading to leave, “But I assure you, I need no such help. Leave Nova to me. You can go fret about those little friends you care so much about.”
“You literally got beat up by Nova like, half an hour ago!”
“Details!” He was actually a bit away now. As it turned out, he could walk pretty fast when he wanted to. Asahi didn’t feel like chasing him down at the moment. “I won’t lose again!”
Somehow, Asahi doubted that. And she’d only met Mr. Juggler maybe half an hour ago.
---
“And honestly, the nerve of that guy! He was so rude and acted like he knew everything!” Asahi was back at Tomomi’s apartment. He’d returned about half an hour before and had spent the entire time quietly listening to her rant. He didn’t seem to mind, instead offering a her a wry smile as he watched her sit on the couch, sock clad feet tucked under her, as she tightly hugged Regina. “Not to mention I have no clue how he even knew I was Grigio in the first place!”
Tomomi tilted his head, “Did you ask?”
“I don’t think it would have mattered. I’m not sure he actually answered any of my questions.” She groaned, “He’s so weird. And he’s probably gonna try to fight Nova again, so I don’t even know what I’m going to do there.”
“You’ll probably have to fight Nova either way, so you can at least do that.” Tomomi tried to make her feel better, but he seemed to be able to tell it wouldn’t necessarily be all that helpful. “Unlike him though, you can go into that fight at least somewhat prepared.”
She tilts her head in thought, “Yeah I guess you’re right.” She shifts her position, not even batting an eye when a small version of Bemstar appeared and worms his way between her arms, next to Regina. “So, what do we know about Nova?”
He gives her a smile before pulling out a notepad, “Nova’s most obvious threats are it’s whip arm and it’s blade arm, but beyond that it also has the ability to fire those exploding balls.” He frowns at his notes, “We’re not exactly sure what else it can do, we know it’s called the Saucer Alien, but that’s most likely because when it flies it appears to have a disk like shape.”
Asahi hums, “Honestly, it looks more like one of those bedsheet ghosts, but red and with a balloon on its head or something.”
Tomomi nods in agreement, “It does, but a Nova was found to responsible for more than one UFO sighting, so that’s what they chose to call it.” He sighed, “Really, we only have one recorded Nova, so we don’t know much about it.”
She shrugs, “That’s fine,” She said, giving Bemstar some pets on the head, “I’ve worked with not knowing anything about the monster. At least knowing something about Nova will be able to help me deal with it.” Regina growled, butting into Bemstar. It seemed she wanted head pets too. Soon, Asahi had to remove her arms from around them as they broke out into a fight. Of course, one good hit on them from the other caused them to disappear, their Crystals landing gently on the couch. Really, she would have given both of them pets if they gave her the chance.
“I’m sure you’ll do fine,” Tomomi smiles at her. With something of a found sigh, Asahi picks up Regina and Bemstar’s Crystals, returning them to her pocket.
She brings a smile onto her face, “We’ll stop that Nova if it shows up again.” She said it with such certainty, it was easy to pretend she was as confident as she sounded. But really, what did she have to worry about? Sure, Mr. Juggler couldn’t beat Nova, but he was also fighting alone. With or without his help, she still had Regina and Bemstar, that was far better than what he was trying.
Yeah, it would be fine. She would make sure of it. Her, Regina, and Bemstar. She didn’t have to fight alone, anymore. Even without her brothers.
Across from her Tomomi laughed. It wasn’t like Mr. Juggler’s, it wasn’t mocking or condescending or anything like that. He wasn’t making fun of her. Tomomi’s laugh was much more true, it was happy, joyful, but even the reason he was laughing was better. He was happy that she was so determined that she’d decided they’d be able to win. And that in turn, it made her happy. Truly happy. Because he believed in her.
Not in Grigio, but in Asahi.
Because here, it felt like everyone only believed in Grigio. Asahi was no one to them, at best a name they’d heard. But Grigio? At this point, she’d be surprised if there was anyone in this city who hadn’t heard of her.
So people believed in Grigio. But Tomomi was the only one who believed in Asahi. For some reason, that very small detail made all the difference.
---
Nova didn’t appear until the next day. Or rather, Mr. Juggler appeared again the next day. He was in the form he was in when he tried to fight Nova before. At first, Asahi was confused why he showed up. Until he went and began to tell Nova to show itself.
Either he was really just going to bait Nova out there, or Nova was hiding. And really, she was betting on the former. Mr. Juggler seemed like the type of person, based on the conversations she had with him yesterday, whose pride would not let them leave that loss as just a loss. But really, did he have to just stand in the middle of the city trying to get it to show up? Especially since it was one of Kenshin’s monster, or at least it was being controlled by him.
Asahi shook her head, sighing before transforming into Grigio. “What are you doing?” She asked, hands on her hips.
Mr. Juggler turned to face her before responding in a mock pleasant tone, “I’m trying to make candy canes –“ Then in a much more annoyed voice, “- What does it look like I’m doing?”
Grigio sighed, “It looks like you’re trying to get Nova to show up again. Which, given how your fight with it yesterday went, doesn’t seem like the most… happy idea.”
He turned away from her, “There you go again with all that ‘happy’ stuff.” He nearly groaned, “Anyway, I’ll do as I please. I don’t see why you care.”
“Because if Nova shows up and you can’t beat it, there’s just a Kaiju in the city and guess who’ll have to deal with it!” Then she points at herself, “Me!”
“Well, it won’t be a problem,” Mr. Juggler stated, “Because I won’t lose.”
She takes a deep breath before crossing her arms, “We’ll see.” They didn’t really have to wait very long, as a few moments later, Nova appeared in a cloud of dark feathers and smoke. Right on cue, it seemed.
Mr. Juggler adjusts his hold on his sword, slipping into a fighting stance. “About time,” He said before lunging at Nova.
To his credit, he managed to slash at Nova before it launched it’s exploding ball missiles at him. After that attack though, Mr. Juggler got shrunk down to human size, tossed to the ground. Grigio just sighed, because honestly, she could have predicted that would happen. And now, here she was, having to deal with Nova.
Great.
As soon as Mr. Juggler was dealt with, Nova turned it’s attention to her, so now was the time to fight, it seemed. First, Grigio figured she’d see how she could do against Nova, then she’d get Regina and Bemstar out to help if needed. Which it was probably needed, but she wanted to see for sure. Something in her just really did, even if it didn’t really make sense.
She summoned her bow, ready to launch an arrow, when she heard someone land next to her. It couldn’t have been Mr. Juggler; especially given how he really didn’t want her help and had just gotten his butt kicked not a minute before. She glances over, then has to stop and turn.
“Did I miss too much?” She recognized that voice! She recognized that Ultra! He had more black than a lot of Ultras, which helped her recognize him quickly, but most distinctly, he had a round color timer that made a ring. It was Orb. She’d met him a couple times before.
But what was he doing here?
Nova made sound that brought Grigio’s attention back to it. It swung it’s whip like arm at them, causing them to dodge out of the way. She called out to Orb in response, “Not really! Just some grouchy sword guy getting beat for a second time by Nova here.”
“Grouchy sword guy?”
She fired a barrage of arrows at Nova, making it stagger back. “Yeah, really rude too.” It fired it’s exploding ball missiles at her, which she blocked with a shield. “Purposely got Nova to show up, I think his pride got hurt yesterday when he lost to it.”
“Really rude too…” He moved towards Nova and threw a few punches at it.
“Oh yeah. He so got really upset when he was called not very evil and heroic.” She added, kicking Nova away when it got too close for her liking. “It was what made him end up fighting Nova in the first place.”
Orb hummed he swung his sword at Nova, landing a few hits on it. In turn, Nova swung it’s scythe arm at him, though he stopped it using his sword. Then Nova swung it’s other arm at him, managing to hit him with his whip. Grigio fired a few arrows at Nova, which allowed Orb to get away from it.
“Right, Grigio, I think we should be able to finish it now,” Orb said, “We just need one last good attack.”
“Got it!” She cheered, “Grigio Shot!”
“Origium Ray!”
Nova was knocked back, then exploded, a dark cloud flowing out of it and disappearing. From it, a Crystal came flying, which Grigio caught easily. She looked at it, it had Nova on it. So it was pretty easy to tell what it was. It seemed she had another Kaiju Crystal to work with. Grigio and Orb met back up as humans, because Asahi had a couple questions for him.
“Mr. Gai,” She began, “Not that I’m not happy you showed up, but what exactly are you doing here?”
Mr. Gai looked at her for a moment, before responding, almost absent mindedly, “Oh, I’m supposed to grab someone and bring him back to my Earth.” Then his brow furrows and he asks, “What are you doing here? This isn’t your and your brother’s Earth.”
Asahi rubbed the back of her head, a sheepish smile on her face, “I kinda tripped here, because of Kenshin. Now I can’t go home even if I wanted to.”
It looked like Mr. Gai was going to respond, but then, Mr. Juggler appeared behind him, holding his sword to Mr. Gai’s neck. Asahi wasn’t sure what to do, but soon became confused when Mr. Gai calmly moved the sword down from his neck.
“Is that anyway to greet someone, Juggler?”
Did… Did Mr. Gai and Mr. Juggler know each other? Now that she thought about it, Mr. Juggler sure did know a lot about Ultras, so it would make sense that he knew one. And Mr. Gai did just say that he was here to find someone. They weren’t much alike, and given what Mr. Juggler just did, she wouldn’t think they got along very well.
“Uh,” She began, though she didn’t really finish. She didn’t know what to say.
“Now, what’s this about losing to Nova twice?” Mr. Gai’s tone was teasing, and he had a cheeky smile on his face when he posed the question to Mr. Juggler.
Mr. Juggler scowled, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Gai.”
“But Asahi told me so,” Mr. Gai chirped, “And why would she lie?”
“You’d believe what that brat says?” Mr. Juggler’s scowl deepened as he huffed, “She’s seemed to have gotten herself into a whole big mess. Way to big for her to handle, clearly.”
“Didn’t you lose to Nova twice in two days?” Asahi asked dryly, feeling a lot of her joy drain. Something about just being around Mr. Juggler was very… tiring was probably the best way to describe it.
Mr. Juggler continued to scowl and shot her a glare but otherwise didn’t say anything. Mr. Gai laughed, placing his hand on Mr. Juggler’s shoulder. “We should probably get going.”
“Oh!” Asahi thought of something, “Hey, could you tell my brothers I’m okay? They’re probably worried.”
Mr. Gai gave her a small smile, “Yeah, sure,” In the short amount of time they were talking, Mr. Juggler had tried to sneak away. Mr. Gai turned to him and called, “Hey Juggler! Come on, we need to go tell Asahi’s brothers she’s okay.”
Mr. Juggler scowled once more, an expression that Asahi was getting very used to seeing on him. “I’m not going with you.”
“Sure you’re not,” Mr. Gai grabs his arm and began to drag him off. “Let’s go.” Juggler frowned. Even though Asahi was pretty sure it was more of a pout than a frown. She held back a laugh.
She hears something fall to the ground and roll, coming from the direction the two had left in. That was strange, had one of them dropped something? She walks over, finding what had fallen and made that sound. A Crystal, but that wasn’t what surprised her. On the Crystal was a picture of Mr. Juggler in his monster like form. Given she wasn’t really sure what this Crystal would do, as well as the fact that it had “evil” written on it, which was funny given she didn’t really think Mr. Juggler was all that evil, Asahi wasn’t in any hurry to figure out what it did. Instead, she slipped it into her pocket, deciding she’d deal with it… later.
---
“Okay, what the hell was all of that!?” Jun growled, using both arms to gesture to the screen, which was replaying the fight with Nova earlier, “That monster guy again, and then what? Another Ultra? Again?”
Matsuoka hummed, “It seemed so, at the very least, this other Ultra seems to be on Grigio’s side.”
Rin crossed their arms, “Well, either way, I think we can all agree that these past couple days have been…” They trail off, trying to think of a good way to finish.
“Interesting?” Fuyuko offered, “I’ll say. I wonder what’s up with that, though?”
Jun groaned, “Just don’t go theorizing about it. We don’t need another conspiracy board popping up thanks to you.”
“What are you talking about?” Fuyuko asked in mock innocence, “I had nothing to do with that last one. Why would I waste my time theorizing about the existence of a time traveling alien who is the good half of another time traveling alien who was evil. And then the evil time traveling alien turned a bunch of aliens and kaijus into dolls. That’s the most ridiculous theory I’ve ever heard of.”
“Sure it is,” Jun rolled her eyes, “Sure it is.”
---
Zero was, by all means, minding his own business. He was sitting in the back of the Minatos’ shop, flipping through the pages of some book they had lying around. He was pretty sure that their dad had commented about it being Asahi’s. Which, given it was about Magical Girls, probably made sense.
So when someone entered the shop, he didn’t pay too much mind. Katsumi was just at the counter, so he’d be there to help them or whatever if needed. No, he only looked up when he heard Katsumi call for his brother. Because why would he do that?
Looking up, he saw why. There was Orb-Gai and Juggler, the latter of which was frowning, as he seemed to do quite a bit, looking rather disinterested. Isami finally came in, also noticing the two.
“Orb – Gai, what are you two doing here?” Zero asked, closing the book he was reading and tucking away where there was no way either Or-Gai or Juggler could see it. He didn’t need them to know he was ever reading that.
“Oh, Mr. Zero!” It seemed Or-Gai hadn’t noticed him. “What are you doing here?”
“He’s helping us look for Asahi,” Isami answered, crossing his arms. “She kinda just… disappeared a month or so ago.”
“Oh, yeah!” Or-Gai perked up, “That’s why we’re here, actually.”
Katsumi tilted his head in confusion, “It is?”
“Yeah, Asahi told us to tell you that’s she’s okay.”
“You saw her?” Isami asked, eyeing the two, “How’d you manage that?”
“I was looking for Juggler,” Or-Gai responded, pointing his thumb at the grouchy Juggler who was now poking around the shop. “Apparently he lost to a Nova twice in two days.”
Juggler swirled around, “I did not!”
“Anyway,” Or-Gai began, grabbing Juggler and making his way towards the door, “Now that we’re done here, Naomi told us to be back by tomorrow and to pick up groceries on our way back.”
“I’m not going grocery shopping for her,” Juggler growled, trying to tug himself way from Or-Gai, “And certainly not with you.”
Zero is pretty sure Or-Gai is rolling his eyes when he responds with, “Let’s go,”. Zero is positive that Juggler was pouting as he was being dragged out.
Once the two were gone, Katsumi snapped out of the stupor he’d fallen into. “Wait, we should have asked them where Asahi was.”
Isami looked at him and sighed, “Yeah, we should have…”
Zero decided he should probably try to like, cheer them up or something. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. At least you know she’s okay.”
“That really doesn’t make us feel all that much better,” Katsumi responded dryly.
“We still don’t know where she is or if she’ll stay that way.” Isami added.
Zero sighed, “Grigio can take care of herself.”
“To an extent,” Katsumi said.
And he did have a point, as far as Zero knew. Grigio, Asahi, wasn’t much of a fighter, even when she was trying to be.
2 notes · View notes
zayashmaya · 5 years
Text
some marvus angst alphabet headcanons
im bored and feeling some type of way so lets get truckin’ folks
a - accident (would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?)
- absolutely, marvus has a savior complex that’s quite beforus-style due to how he perceives purplebloods and their role in society. he wants to be the protector for his lover, and failing to do so would shatter his high opinion of himself regarding his ability to keep them safe. his mind will constantly be flooded with thoughts of how he could have done things differently, if he had just had security follow you around, or kept you locked away safely in his hive, none of this would have happened. he should have known better - alternia is a dangerous place. b - break up (how would they deal with one?)
- aloof, aloof, aloof. at worst, he would play it off as though he didn’t really care, and at best he would be understanding and try to remain friends (although he quickly realizes he can’t do that, it hurts too much, so he ghosts his ex). marvus isn’t the type to date officially to begin with, and if he does then he goes all in. breaking up would have him revisiting where things went wrong. little, random things would remind him of his ex, and he would find himself missing them. c - crying (are they much of a crier?)
- nope, he cried when he was a wiggler if he skinned his knee or something but ever since he embarked on a career in entertainment, he learned to keep his true feelings to himself. d - death (how do they deal with any death?)
- he is very, very good at handling death. he’s a killer himself, and surrounds himself with death on a daily basis. the clown cult taught him early in life to get rid of his discomfort with dead bodies and murder and all that fun stuff, so by now he is utterly desensitized and looks upon it with mild disinterest. - if someone he loves dies, that’s a different story. first of all, it is hard for him to openly love someone to begin with. so if someone manages to break down that barrier, all of those teachings from clown church fly out the window. if his lover dies, he will bear this burden for the rest of his life, and it will be a weight that cannot ever be lifted. he will be more violent during his concerts, more erratic with his work life, drowning himself in hedonism to help himself forget the pain and loneliness, but it will never go away. e - emotion (what’s the emotion they tend to push away the most?)
- sadness. marvus haaaaaates moping around and thinking about stuff that upset him. he thinks he could do far more productive things, and he certainly works himself to the bone or hangs out with his friends to distract himself. this dude rarely deals with his own feelings, despite how introspective he tends to be. f - frustrated (how much would it take to push them off the edge?)
- i feel like it varies. if things are going well for marvus, he doesn’t usually get pissed, he’d probably take it all in stride and figure things out with a level head. but if he’s already in a bad place, then adding to the situation will make him frustrated and grouchy. g - great pain (what is the most painful thing they have witnessed?)
- the first time he witnessed a lowblood being sacrificed at church. he still remembers the begging and screaming. h - humiliation (how could they be humiliated?)
- if someone looks down on him. i think this is where his hatred of sea dwellers comes from; he doesn’t like feeling like someone is better than him, especially when they haven’t earned that status. being forced to submit to the whims of his superiors is something that pisses him off more than anything. i - injured (how do they handle themselves when injured?)
- shrugs it off, no matter what. we saw a classic example of that during his bad end after his limo exploded, and despite him eventually acknowledging he got hurt more than he thought, he still looked at the brighter side of things. j - jittery (which part of their past makes them flinch or even worked up?)
- genuine intimacy. he is totally unfamiliar with it. pailing and sensuality, he has no problem with. violence, no biggie. but vulnerability and expressions of love? he’s ready to simultaneously crawl out of his skin and yet chase after those caresses. he’ll get accustomed to them eventually, and once he’s comfortable with intimacy, you best believe he will be the biggest cuddle bug. k - kill (would they kill for revenge?)
- marvus prides himself on his self-control. he allows murder and mayhem at his concerts, and even instigates them, because all of this is done at his discretion. killing for revenge out in the open would make him feel like he lost that self-control, which he is loathe to do. so i think he would handle matters personally, either one-on-one where no one else can see and the camera crew is gone, or he will hire an assassin to do his dirty work. l - loss (what was their greatest loss?)
- i imagine he might have had close lowblood friends among his profession when he first started, and he was probably forced into a situation where they got killed in a match with him during slam or get culled. m - mistakes (how much do they want to fix the mistakes of their past?)
- marvus is probably the type to have very few regrets. he believes that everything that’s happened to him has taught him an important lesson, so changing the past would change his perspective and who he currently was. o - outrage (what makes them angry?)
- needless to say, cocky sea dwellers who overstep his boundaries and make him feel like shit. also people who invade his privacy. he puts a lot of effort into letting the public see what he wants them to see, so if someone goes the extra mile to breach the very little privacy he has left for himself, he’s gonna be livid. he also has absolutely no tolerance for anyone daring to insult his lover in any way. someone will lose their life for that. 
p - pressure (what stresses them out to the breaking point?)
- honestly, i think he would never lose his composure like that in his line of work. it’s the issues that might arise in his private life that he will be unprepared to handle, since he tends to leave things unspoken and doesn’t deal with issues head-on. so when the tension between him and his lover starts to overflow, he doesn’t know how to handle it because he never learned coping mechanisms or how to properly analyze his feelings. basically, his own feelings will overwhelm him. q - qualify (what part of themselves do they see as dangerous?)
- his charm mixed with his detached facade. marvus thinks that chuckle voodoos are only a small part of what makes him dangerous. his ability to win over anyone through his personality and manipulate them into doing what he wants is what he considers to be his strongest asset. t - time (what if they had limited time to live?)
- if single, marvus immediately comes to terms with it and spends his time doing what he loves, making music and making his fans happy. if taken, he will still accept his fate to some degree, and he would stay strong for his lover until the very end. but deep down, he wishes he had more time with them. so he spends his last days entirely in their company. they are all that matters to him. u - urge (how badly do they get the urge to see you after separating?)
- if he goes on tour, the first few days, maybe week, is easy peasy. marvus is very independent and driven, and when he has a lot of duties to attend to, he will absolutely focus on them. but once he starts thinking about his lover, how he misses their warmth and laughter, it’s like a switch is flipped. he starts getting antsy about getting back to them. there’s definitely a whole lot of texting (sexting too for sure), phone calls, you name it, he even buys them a bunch of gifts for them. - if his lover is the one who goes somewhere and he has little to occupy himself with, he’s going to be THE neediest bitch on the planet, and he will try to convince you to come back as soon as possible if he can. sends them lots of texts about how much he misses them. when his lover returns, he’s waiting at the door like a housewife watching her soldier husband return from war. in both instances, he’s gonna need at least a week of your undivided attention. v - vent (how do they get rid of feelings they find unnecessary?)
- he raps about his problems! that’s how the feels jam sessions go for him (with chixie ok, there’s no one else better equipped to handle this situation). y - yearning (do old memories make them yearn for your touch?)
- he thinks about the first time you ran your fingers through his hair, when you stroked his bare cheek after he removed his face paint for the first time in your presence, the way your fingers graze along his alien features and committing them to memory, little things like this that he always remembers and craves more of.
80 notes · View notes
kawaiimysticarmy · 4 years
Text
ShinsouBowl Day 1 - “Promise”
Word count: 2,738
Genre: Fluff, Romance, angst, BL
Ship: Shindeku
Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21470425
ShinsouBowl week for @shinsoubowl ! 💜
Hope you all enjoy! Shindeku needs all the love >w< 💜
Shinsou Hitoshi was heading back towards the dorms of UA while he had a black umbrella over himself when it started to rain. Wearing a hoodie and some jeans since he finished class earlier today and had changed. A day or so, someone had told him that new dorms have been built, which allowed all the students of UA to finally live in a dorm. Shinsou had decided to tour around campus, because he really never gotten a chance to ever since today. The rain began to pour harder while he was taking his nice tour, he then saw a familiar green haired boy, sitting on a bench while he looked like that he was pretty much drenched in rain water by now. He questioned to himself of why the other was sitting alone today, since he usually saw the male with at least one person. He took a clearer glance at the boy and realized that he looked... Kinda down at the moment? He decided whether or not he should go over to Izuku and ask what was up, after all it wasn’t any of his business... But at the same time it was bothering him. He decided to watch from a distance for now to see what the other would do next.
{looks like there’s something up with him... What could it be though..?}
Izuku Midoriya sat on a bench outside the training grounds. His expression poker-faced. School was a bore, everything he liked was a bore. It was probably past curfew at this point but thats not what he was thinking of. He stared into the distance, not wanting to go back either. It felt as if everything had sunk in even though it was days past the incident. Taking a deep breath, he suddenly snapped out of it and realized it was pouring rain around him. His whole body was beginning to dampen now, but he had an inkling the source of the warm and salty stream om his cheek was from something else.
The melancholy male sitting in the distance had suddenly stood up, wanting to scream. Before he could, he stopped himself. Thoughts of self consciousness and worry flooded him- he didn't want to annoy the others on campus. But again he just wanted to cry out in pain- for once just let it out. He felt it was a selfish thought, so he pushed it to the back of his mind. Even when he was with _____, he didn't want to show him his bad side and burden him. Picking himself up, he brushed himself off. Moping wasnt going to do any good. He gathered his things and trudged to the entrance, when he saw a purple headed boy turn away from him. What was he doing here?
Shinsou was about to walk away when he saw Izuku heading back, but before then, he saw the other catching a brief glance at him.
{Shoot, he saw me staring at him didn’t he?}
The male had thought to himself as he had hoped that Midoriya wouldn’t be suspicious of him and headed back towards the dorms, closing his umbrella once he got into the building. It had been a long day, so he decided to head back to his room to finish up some homework that the teacher had assigned him earlier this morning. The thought of if the freckled male was okay had still lingered in his mind though... He honestly haven’t really had a real conversation with that boy ever since the sports festival. Which was about months ago.
Deku felt self pity welling up inside him and worry at the boy who had been watching him. What if even Shinsou thought he was weird now? He sighed walking back up to his dorm, when his eyes locked with the very person he wasn't expecting, his jacket and hair slightly damp. Just when Shinsou was less than halfway down the halls when he had locked eyes with the green haired male. Deku walked past, alone in his own thoughts. But out of the corner of his eyes he saw a flash of purple. Locking eyes with the other, Shinsou’s lilac eyes looked dull and unmotivated, but at the same time, he was secretly concerned for the boy. Shinsou had paused a bit before saying a word to the boy, getting lost in the other’s eyes a bit.
“Mi-“ Before he got to say anything, he then got cut off by Izuku’s shriek of surprise.
"Sh-shinsou?!" He jumped slightly, eyes widening a bit while blushing and scratching the back of his head. "Aa-h-h-hello do you do?" He internally kicked himself for stuttering his words, making his reply super awkward in his eyes— a scarlet blush filled his cheeks. Had shinsou been watching him mope this whole time?
The purple haired male couldn’t help but to chuckle a bit on the inside after seeing Midoriya jumping slightly from his surprise reveal. At first he wanted to confront what was going on with the other, but then he decided to act like he didn’t know what just happened earlier. Instead he acted like he had acted that he just saw the green haired male walk into the dorms. “I thought you be back in your dorm room by now.” He stated like it was easy to talk to the young boy. “Did you have to do training overtime again?” He causally asked the question like it was nothing while he was folding his umbrella.
"N-no," why was he stuttering? He internally slapped himself. "Well not really, I was just... enjoying the rain! Yeah!” He tried to sound convincing but it totally backfired. He just felt so conflicted and hurt.
“You sure gave yourself a soak in the bath, if you know what I mean.” Shinsou responded jokingly, trying to lighten up the mood and acting like he hadn’t seen all the commotion earlier.
“Uh yeah, I sure did!” Izuku tried to let out a laugh. Then randomly, it was like Shinsou's words were all it took for the dam to break free, pushing Izuku over the edge. He broke down in uncontrollable bursts of tears, pulling his knees into his face so no one could see how embarrassing he was- this was probably why _____ left him after all...
“H-hey...” When he saw Midoriya suddenly burst into tears, he didn’t know what to do at first and started to panic on the inside. He never had experienced this kind of situation before... But then he had a thought — he then bent down to the boy’s level, seeing the other sobbing into his soaked uniform made him pity the other. He then placed a hand onto the male’s shoulder gently.
Izuku has sobbed profusely by now. “Why.. Why does it have to happen like this? It’s... Just not fair...!” He almost screamed out loud, sobbing in his already wet uniform pants. He tried his best to control his voice as if he didn’t want to concern the others that were in the dorms on the other floors. 
“Do you... Maybe want to talk about this at your dorm?” Shinsou had asked him as if he thought it was appropriate to talk about what the other is going though   couldn’t bare to see the boy like this — he never seen the green haired figure so broken like this... Izuku was always so cheerful whenever the other was around him.
Izuku then nodded his head, hiccuping on accident, allowing Shinsou to lead the way as Shinsou still had his hand on Izuku’s shoulder. The purple haired boy never really talked much, but actions were worth more than words and he could feel his gentleness coming through in his body language. He didn't really want to talk about it but anywhere was better than the hallway.
                                                      *~*~*
Once they had entered Izuku’s dorm, Shinsou had let the teary-eyed male in first, closing the door behind him afterwards. He observed the room, of course it was filled with figures of his favorite hero, also known as the one and only All Might. The other’s room was filled with posters of him as well to the fact that you almost couldn’t even see the walls. Some clothes were on the ground and Izuku’s backpack that he took with him to school every day was sitting on the floor by his desk, with a couple of books spilling out from his opened bag.
“Sorry if my dorm is a bit of a mess...” Izuku tried to speak confidently, as he was kind of embarrassed by letting Shinsou see how much he appreciated his favorite hero- it’s not like the others had already seen how much he admired the influential figure and that the sleep deprived male hasn’t already know about his passion about the hero- but in the end he still had that embarrassing feeling but tried to laugh it off. Trying to get himself together by putting on a positive tone of voice after what had happened in the hallway Izuku then added, “I um, didn’t expect guess to come, but here we are..!” He tried to let out a brief chuckle. “You can have a seat if you’d like! He then proceeded to sit on the side of his bed, making room for Shinsou to sit next to him. Izuku put his head down briefly and sniffled a bit, wiping his tears away that were outlining his eyes onto his soaked uniform.
Shinsou had placed his umbrella on a hook that was near the doorway to let it dry, then proceeded towards Midoriya who was kind of soaking part of the bed with his wet clothing.
“Shouldn’t you change into something dry first? You wouldn’t want to get sick do you?”
“Oh, um yeah!” Izuku responded as he looked at how wet his uniform was when Shinsou had mentioned it. “I-I’ll be right back..!” He then gave a forced smile and went to grab a pair of sweatpants and his causal shirt. While Shinsou was waiting for Izuku to change, he saw a small picture frame on the side of the other’s study desk. It was a picture of the smiley male and _____. Even though it was days since the breakup, he still managed to keep the photo of them two together.
A few minutes later, Izuku changed into his pair of clothes and sat on his bedside, gesturing Shinsou to come over as well and sit beside him. “
“So, I’ve heard from a few friends that you’ve been going though some things?” He lied a bit.
Izuku then hung his head down slightly as his expression saddened again. “It’s- it’s about ____... They told me that we should end it all... After all these years... And I don’t know what I did.. I-I know how we had a couple of fights that weren’t even a big deal, but I admitted it that it was my fault in the first place- I admitted it and (s)he seemed like everything was okay with us for a while... But then...” Izuku rambles on and on and couldn’t really stop as usual. He sighed in the middle of his thoughts as tears stated to outline his eyes again as he continued to ramble.
“Midoriya?”
“Thinking about it- in the end it was all my fault, I shouldn’t have-“ Izuku’s eyes suddenly shifted towards Shinsou, feeling his mind slowly going blank all of a sudden.
“Calm down.” Shinsou has said in a calm tone, activating his quirk to make Izuku relax a bit. This wasn’t the first time that he had heard Izuku ramble so fast about things, but this time he needed the other to take things slowly.
By the time Izuku had calmed down, Hitoshi had deactivated his quirk as tears were still falling down from Izuku’s eyes; the other not knowing what just happened for a brief second, but then realized that Shinsou had used his quirk on him to give him a breather.
“You were rambling again.. Take it easy, alright?” Shinsou had smiled slightly, wanting to listen to the boy for once, because maybe there was something that he could help with. It honestly hurt him a bit to see the other in this state...
“Ah, I-I’m sorry...” Izuku had bent his head down and sobbed quietly into his hands. “It’s just that... it all happened so quickly...” Izuku sniffled. “And... I just don’t know what to do...” He then placed his feet onto his comforter, bent his knees and started sobbing even more.
Hitoshi felt pity for Izuku. He was pretty sure he felt the same kind of similar feeling in his past. At first, he really know what to say besides and “I’m sorry”, but then a thought had came to him.
“Look... I don’t mean to be harsh or anything, but if I were you I would just probably move on from all of this since you can’t really do anything about it. It was their choice after all.” Hitoshi had straightforwardly said to the curly haired male.
“But I-I just can’t get it though my head.. I just... loved them so much...” Izuku sobbed as Hitoshi had decided to wrapped his arms around the other all of a sudden. He for some reason felt that there was a part of Izuku that reminded him of himself... Shinsou was not the one to show much affection towards others, but only for this time he felt like he had to do something, so all he could think of was this.
Izuku just hugged the other male tighter, burring his head into Shinsou’s shoulder as his tears had accidentally soaked into the male’s shirt a bit.
The indigo haired male had tensed up a bit as if the male wasn’t used to the giving back of affection— or the giving of affection in general, but then he eventually relaxed a few seconds later.
{My heart is beating faster than normal— is it because of how close we are right now..?}
A moment of silence has swept over the two, Izuku took a slight deep breath, inhaling the other’s sent that was an aroma of cinnamon and a bit of vanilla.
“...”
“Shinsou...”
“Hm?”
“You... Smell good...” Izuku had spoken in a soft tone as he rested his chin onto Shinsou’s shoulder. A light pink blush had colored his face after realizing what he just said to the lilac haired male. “I-I mean, is that cinnamon and vanilla I s-smell...?”
Shinsou couldn’t help but to smile slightly and had continued stroking Izuku’s curls, pulling the other closer to his chest. He felt a warm sensation going through his body. It’s like the feeling of happiness had swept through him for a moment... He honestly never had received a compliment like that from anyone other than Izuku. He was surprised from all of this happening, but at the same time he knew that Izuku was the only one to fully trust him out of all the students. Ever since their first interaction Izuku didn’t seem scared to talk to him, which made him feel a bit of a relief on the inside for once...
“I may have used a special softener while I was doing my laundry..” The sleepy male responded, trying not to sound embarrassed about the whole thing as if he thought it wasn’t a masculine thing to do; but it’s not like he cared about what people thought about him anyways.
{I really hope he can’t hear how fast my heart is beating right now, because that would be embarrassing-}
“Shinsou...”
“What is it?”
“What if I end up being alone? With no one by my side... It’s honestly scary thinking about it...” Izuku spoke in a soft tone. It was his first breakup and he didn’t know if he could find another person like ____.
{This cute idiot.} 
Hitoshi had chuckled to himself as he rolled his eyes and rested his chin onto the Izuku’s head gently. Pausing a moment as he kept playing with the curls on Izuku’s hair.
{His hair is so soft...}
“You’re an idiot for thinking about those things. I promise you’ll never be alone...” Shinsou responded as he placed his lips onto Izuku’s forehead, closing his eyes for a moment.
Izuku blushed a dark pink and nuzzled his head into Shinsou’s chest a bit more. “You promise...?”
“I promise.”
10 notes · View notes
trainedhard · 4 years
Text
@sparkledmcnarch​ || PLOTTED STARTER 
Despite being pretty well aware that someone was coming to conquer their planet ( or .. try to, anyways ) Saitama could hardly say he was prepared. No, he doesn’t need to warm up or train or anything ... that’s not the issue here. What is the issue, though, is that .. he’s not really sure how much work’s gonna be ahead of him. And god, does he hate doing lots of work. Lucky for him, though, he doesn’t even have much time to dread or mope about that -- because right in the middle of their meeting, that very ship that’d been predicted to come had invaded! Yes, they’d specified in the meeting that it was Hordak Prime coming to destroy their world and take it over ... but honestly, the bald hero could give less of a shit about who that was. Who cares if he was some big wig who ruled the galaxy? He hasn’t even TOUCHED their planet yet... and despite the fear from everyone about the invader, Saitama doesn’t know a damn thing about him.
So, then, it’s no surprise that he’s not really sure who the hell is running this shitshow! However, he DOES know that he’s gonna try and take this hotshot and thier fleets out -- because that’s his duty as a hero. He’s gonna save everyone, he’s gonna take this ship down and save their world, because it’s clear they mean serious business. Even if he knows he probably won’t be credited, or nobody will care -- and aside from that, he wants to know just why they invaded. What did their measley planet have to offer? It was way too overpopulated with monsters and the like as it was; there was no need to add to that problem by pumping in aliens to the mix, he reasons, so ... yeah, these aliens? They’ve got to go. 
‘Course, when he gets up there, it’s .. kind of hard to breathe, but nothing bothers him much. He thinks the atmosphere’s a little weird, but it’s not terrible enough it renders him unable to function. He presses on with the feeling of mild pressure on his chest, and on his way through the ship, he’s just carelessly wrecking everything. Soldiers are sent after him, all of em weird looking -- but as per usual, all it takes is one punch and they’re blown to smithereens. It’s the same old song and dance for the bald hero, and ... well, eventually, he finds the source of all this pain. It’s .. a weird looking cyborg dude with dreads! He thinks? .. Bah, he doesn’t know what the hell those are ( cables or hair? ) and he doesn’t care. Nor does he even notice the two prisoners who were watching him with total fear ... or crying out for him to stop. 
Hordak Prime doesn’t really give a shit -- in fact, he’s pretty amused( ? ). He’s blabbing on and on and on about how impressed he is with Saitama’s strength, how he should join forces with him, and when Saitama’s not paying attention, scolding him for ignoring him. Saitama’s so bored he yawns, though, and ... when he STILL blabs? The yellow-clad hero is ANNOYED. He cuts off Hordak with a dismissive hand -- “Blah blah blah. Okay, can you shut the hell up and get to the point already? I don’t have all day.”
.. As one would imagine, Hordak doesn’t take kindly to that kind of talk. Saitama’s waiting with his arms crossed while Hordak’s looking at him in utter disbelief. That cool persona he’d had going on melted away slowly, and it was showing. When he keeps spouting more bullshit, Saitama simply just walks up to him, and ... well, he just punches him with everything he’s got. The wind force alone is enough to break through the side of the ship and into several other rooms and corridors surrounding this one, and on the spot, he’s COMPLETELY obliterated. Literally, there’s not a single trace of Hordak left aside from his legs and part of his torso, which are steaming as they fall to the side, blood pooling under them. There’s hardly even guts anywhere! Saitama’s fist is smoking, buut he doesn’t really seem to mind that. Graphic, sure, but when were his punches ever NOT? 
He turns around, just kinda losing himself in thought for a second, before the scream of one of the prisoners who was watching him catches his attention. He just kinda snaps back to reality, TOTALLY ignoring that the ship is pretty much going down now, in favor of casually asking,  “... Oi, you’re not a bad guy, are you?”
Tumblr media
A pause, and with no real answer, he adds, “And could you keep it down? You’re loud.”
2 notes · View notes
lokkelannii · 4 years
Text
Monsters..
The last few days have been soo busy, which made me realize that posting daily just isn’t going to happen. Which may or may not be for the best! But I want to continue sharing and posting, I also want to be clear that I’m not doing this to become a professional blogger or anything, I’m very much an amateur “writer” I’m not sure if I’d even call myself a writer. I’ve just really been struggling in life, causing messes every where I go, getting lost in my thoughts, dealing with emotions and really just trying to figure things out. Blogging about it has really been helping me put things into perspective and it’s just a journey I decided I wanted to share with anyone who was interested in reading or anyone who could feel like they could relate to things I’m going through. I hope who ever does read gains something, whether its a new perspective, reassurance that they’re fine or just reassurance that you’re really not alone in what ever you’re struggling with! Unfortunately a lot of things I’m dealing with are more negative, but I hope I’m not always posting about problems! But for now can we talk about what a monster depression is. This is about the fourth time I’m typing this out, every time I try I feel like I can’t find the words, my thoughts get all scrambled, seems like such a terrible subject to talk about, but because I’m having so much negative feelings about posting on the topic is just making me believe I really just need to post about it. I call depression a monster because to me that’s exactly what it feels like, I’m not sure what other people feel but mine is a monster. I’ve never been medically diagnosed with depression, frankly I don’t want to be considering after that they’ll constantly be trying to shove medication down my throat and I’m not a medication person. My depression constantly feels like a monster that sits on my chest, my shoulder, holding my legs down, taking my energy, controlling my emotions. In spiritual terms we call this a “demon” which honestly just fits. A lot of mornings I wake up and not even want to get out of bed, no motivation, no energy, a constant reminder that even if I did get up it would be pointless. I get a constant reminder from the monster sitting on my shoulder while I’m getting dressed for the day that it’s pointless, to just get back in bed, that I’m not going to look good when I’m done. Some days I just get so tired by the end of getting dressed I don’t even want to deal with my mess of hair sooo i just wrap it up in a bun and call it good, not even brushing it because that takes too much energy to do. I have the little monster sit on my shoulder while I’m out with friends reminding me I’m not wanted, that I’m the weird friend that they’d have a better time without, that I’m not half as pretty as they are and I shouldn’t even be around them. A constant reminder that I’m worthless, not wanted, boring, sad. I could go on and on about all the negativity this monster brings to my life, but I’m sure you get the point. I think depression is a scary topic because we’ve always learned that the sad, negative people don’t deserve a place in our life and we get sick of talking to the friends who are just sad all the time, none of us want to be “that” friend. None of us want to be the burden, the friend always complaining, always crying, always needing reassurance that were wanted. But look where we’re all at now, were that friend with a cover of happiness. I know I do it. I do it a lot, I’m constantly putting on a pretty smiley face, pushing my hardest and just doing things my brain is telling me I’m not worthy of. But that in itself is also soo tiring. I’m not saying all depression is the same and I’m certain everyone deals with their own struggles of it, this is just the things I deal with. On top of all the emotions that comes with depression, my mind gets angry that I’m exhausted and sad, which causes frustration and anger. So now I’m just a walking time bomb of anger, sadness, laziness etc... Just moping around, snapping on everybody that comes within a 1 foot radius of my presence, ask my mom shes a pro of knowing what comes from this product. It’s something I’m working my best on and I can say over the years I’ve gotten soo much better! But I get so angry with myself because I have no reason to be so sad. I have amazing friends, amazing family, an amazing support group that I could lean on at any given moment. I have what I need in life but I’m still feeling this way. I feel like I have no right to the emotions I feel, I always hear the phrase “someone always has it worse.” As right as that is, I’m so tired of feelings being dismissed because of that. It’s okay to feel what you’re feelins, its OK to feel overwhelmed with your situations, it’s OK to cry, be sad and deal with things the way you do. Another phrase I constantly hear is “just get over it”, well..... I’m sorry to tell you, it’s not nearly that easy. I wish I could just get up and say I’m over it lets move on. But this monster gets to decide when it comes and when it leaves. I’m working on controlling it, suppressing it, reading my bible and putting God in control of it, living the life the way I can live. Do what feels right to you, things that work for other people may not be your solution. Include yourself, appreciate yourself, don’t let sadness control every part of your life. The more we hide it, act like nothings wrong, never talk about it, the more it controls us. Once we accept that we live with the little monster, the more we can do to understand it, to tame it and to keep moving forward. Lets stop putting such a negative title on sadness and learn to help each other, press through together! I hope that if you read this and feel this way at all that you feel comfortable enough to reach out, don’t allow your mind to convince you that I wouldn’t care what you have to say. I really do! Keep re-reading that until you understand and gain the confidence to reach out. Also a reminder to keep in your mind that youre okay, this will pass, it will get easier you’re not alone, YOU MATTER. YOU’RE LOVED. YOU’RE WANTED. Lets go through this battle together!
2 notes · View notes
harrystyltistical · 5 years
Text
Love Is In The Air pt.1
Fluff with a lil bit of angst.
requested? yes
Warnings: none
1k+ word count
When it came to dating Harry tour was apart of the package, and going into it you knew that, but what you didn’t know is how hard it would really be, not having him around for months on end. Of course there was always facetime, but it would never have the same intimacy as having him cuddle up to you, his face tucked into the crook of your neck as you played with his hair and slowly fell into a peaceful sleep. You missed everything about him when he was gone, even doing domestic chores was better with him. Life was always better with him around, he was a ray of sunshine everywhere he went and you were so, so in love with him.
So when Harry finally got home of course you were excited to see him, but you were more than a little underwhelmed by the week following his return. Harry had spent the first two days home sleeping, which was understandable as tour kept him very busy and leaving little time for sleep, plus you could catch up on all the lost cuddles. The following days consisted of Harry going out with friends and returning in all hours of the AM, leaving little to no time for the two of you.
You’d tried your best your best to reason with yourself, but with all the time Harry had spent out of the house and away from you it started to feel like he didn’t really care, I mean you’d spent everyday leading up to him coming home missing him and now that he was finally here it was like your shared apartment was only a place for him to sleep. You knew you were being silly, of course Harry loved you, he was just excited to be back home and there were other people in his life he’d like to see and you understood that, but understanding that didn’t stop it from hurting.
It got to the point where your birthday was in a few days and you weren’t even sure he’d remember. He hadn’t even mentioned planning it together like you would every year, it was tradition to sit down at your table and plan out the entire day down to the food you would eat, but he seemed so caught up in his own life you didn’t even bother to bring it up.
Harry walked into the house, taking a seat next to you on the couch where you’d been watching TV and working on your essay for the last hour, but he didn’t say a word and neither did you. You wondered what he was thinking about, if anything at all, as his eyes were trained religiously on the flat screen hanging on the wall, his face entailing distress as your mutual silence dragged on. It had took you a moment to realize, but he hadn’t kissed you on the forehead, or even said hello for that matter. You tried your best not to overthink it, shooing the thought away as  you knew you’d only drive yourself crazy, instead typing away furiously at your keyboard, eager to finish the essay and get to bed.
It was finally your birthday, and instead of celebrating you had gone out to buy some groceries for dinner, sure to get enough for both you and Harry although you were certain he wouldn’t be home. You bought your own birthday cake and some of your favorite candy before heading home, a knot in your throat the only thing standing between you and a full blown breakdown.
You swallowed as if to gargle down your emotions as you bit at your tongue to keep yourself from tumbling over the edge and crying in your car on the way home. You felt absolutely pathetic, a grown woman who can’t handle her boyfriend not paying attention to her every second of every day. It wasn’t Harry’s fault you spent the whole week moping around instead of spending time with your own friends, even the ones who lived far away weren’t out of reach as there were planes and cars and trains to use, but in all reality the only reason you hadn’t bought a ticket to visit your best friend in Texas was because with Harry being gone the majority of this year, you wanted to spend your birthday (and everyday leading up to it)  with him, and now even that felt like too much to ask.
You’d finally made it home fifteen minutes later, tears streaming down your cheeks as you pulled into the driveway and made your way up the front porch stairs, not bothering to grab the groceries from the back seat on your way in. You stuck the key into the lock, twisting with what little strength you felt you had left and swung the door open, being met with nothing but a dark room, and in that moment you felt completely alone. As you felt your heart shatter in your chest and the broken pieces fall through you the lights flicked on and everyone you knew jumped out and yelled a cheerful “Surprise!” It was ironic that in the moment you felt loneliest you were suddenly surrounded by love.
Embarrassment washed over you as you hated crying in front of people. Harry’s face dropped from one of excitement to one filled with worry as he watched the tears stream down your cheeks, handing the cake he was holding off to your mother as he made his way over to you. His hands were on your face within seconds, wiping a tear with his thumb as he led you with a gentle hand on your lower back to your bedroom.
“Wha’s wrong, petal?” Harry asks as you take a seat on the bed.
“It’s nothing.”
“Hey hey hey, don’ do tha’ to yourself. S’not nothing if it made you cry, now tell me what happened.” Harry says, burying your face into his chest as he gave you the hug you’d been waiting for all week.
“It’s just, I’ve missed you so much and I was so excited for you to come home, but you haven’t said anything to me all week. I-I honestly thought you got bored and wanted to break up, or that you were cheating on me.” You explain, your voice muffled by his shirt as you tried your best not to get choked up.
“Oh honey, no no no, that’s not it at all. I was busy planning your surprise party, I didn’t know you’d think anythin’ of it. M’sorry for making you cry, honey, I promise I would never hurt you on purpose. Honestly, if I have seemed a bit distant it’s just because I’ve been really, really nervous.” Harry says, you look at him and tilt your head, sniffling as you do so. Harry glanced back towards the door, contemplating what he was about to do next as he slowly lowered himself onto one knee.
“Y/N, for as long as I can remember music has been my favorite thing, and all I’ve ever wanted is a girl who could make me feel the same way I do when I’m playing a show. You are that and more, I love everything about you, from the way you laugh to the way you act, the way you carry yourself. Even now I’m stunned at how beautiful you manage to look, and it breaks my heart to think that I’m the reason for those tears or that you thought for even a second that I would ever leave you. I love you so much, my heart is pounding, but I would regret it everyday if I didn’t take the chance to ask you to be my wife.” You sit staring down at him completely in awe as he finished his wonderful speech, pulling out a gorgeous diamond ring. You’re sure you’re dreaming, you have to be, how could you make the boy who fearlessly played in front of arenas of thousands of people nervous. How could he ever think you’d have any answer other than
“Yes!” You say, tears streaming down your face once again, this time ones of pure happiness. You could barely contain your excitement as you jumped into Harry’s arms, all your problems seeming to fade away as you breathed in his sweet cologne.
You shared a few messy kisses before making your way back out of the room, showing your friends and family the diamond that sat atop your finger like a crown atop your head as physical proof the charming, curly-haired boy was all yours.
You had cake and opened presents as the day went on, your mood taking a complete turn and glad just to have Harry back.
98 notes · View notes