#i choose to accept that as reality

[onthemerits]

no one told me that the simone-karl plot from why women kill would rip my heart out and stomp it into little itty bitty pieces

#why women kill #im so late to this #but they mean so much to me #people talk about the beth ann plot being the best but like... #"please youre my best friend”... “its not enough” #turning into #“i want only you here”... “you're the love of my life” #but still in a plaTONIC WAY #where simone accepts the reality of their love and puts aside her pride and chooses to show up for karl #because hes her favorite person in the whole wide world even if they dont love each other romantically #and she cant imagine life without him #and then ends up... #and her devoting her life to... #bahhhhh im dead #literally deceased #~~like karl~~

[uncanny-tranny]

Hi! would you by any chance have tips on how to get a binder when your parents refuse to buy you one? ☹️

That's definitely a sensitive and complex answer, and while I might not know of the best option for your unique situation, there are some ways you can go about this.

If it's a foregone conclusion that you cannot convince them of this, what I used to do is DIY my binder. The ways I primarily did this were:

Option One: Wearing a camisole that was one size smaller than I actually was (so, wearing a small instead of a medium, for instance), then folding it up over my chest. As a disclaimer, this may only work well if you are smaller in the chest

Option Two: Layering two sports bras in my size over each other. Some of the DIY tips I found before I got a traditional binder advised to wear one sports bra in your size, then wear another sports bra backwards in a size smaller. I would advise against this for potential safety reasons, but also because (at least personally), it can be ineffective and a waste of resources.

Some people have also had friends or other family members order their binder for them, but this can be risky, depending on your situation. While I don't know the ins and outs of your specific circumstances, risk management is important to me, so I would recommend this if it is a risk that is acceptable to make.

I understand what it's like to not have access to this resource, so what I will do is advise you against:

Binding with ace bandages (I did this before (multiple times, in fact, because of dysphoria), and believe me, not only did it hurt like hell, but it constricted my body so heavily that I may have done long-term harm)

Wearing a DIY binder (or any kind, for that matter) for longer than your body can handle

Doing DIY in such a way that even mimics binding with ace bandages. This means that your binder shouldn't constrict your ribs, breathing, or range of movement

Here are some general good practices that you should use to guide you for any type of binding, whether traditional or DIY:

When you start binding, only do so in very short sessions to begin with. While binding shouldn't outright hurt, it can be a weird transition while your body is getting used to that new sensation

Minimize heavy lifting or exercise while binding. If it is unavoidable, drink plenty of water and take plenty of breaks

Stretch after binding

Don't bind while sick or have inflammation in your lungs or chest

If you DIY, treat your binder like it is a traditional binder. Don't make the mistake of assuming you don't need to listen to your body because you aren't using a "traditional" binding method

Ultimately, listen to your body. If it is telling you that it needs a break, honour that. Your body isn't punishing you, it is trying to keep you (and it) safe, even if it doesn't feel like it

In the end, this isn't perfect. Sometimes, parents do come around, even in their own ways, even if little by little, they come around. When I first came out officially around 2016, I was convinced that my transition would be completely forbade by my family; I concealed a lot of it in the worst instances of this. However, now, I think most of my family has come through their own journey with the understanding of the reality of what and who I am. I tell you this, anon, because I want you to know that this, too , shall pass. You can make it. I know this might be devastating to you, and believe me, I know what that's like. But it won't be forever. These bridges aren't burnt forever, and I hope you can find your happiness and contentment wherever it may be.

#ask #anon #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #nonbinary #long post #if anybody has other tips or ideas then feel free to speak up #this is what i did before officially binding and what i have seen other trans people do in lieu of getting a 'real' binder #it did suck when i was coming out because i don't think my family had any idea how *their* hang-ups with... me as a person... affected me #and i think a lot of people get their preconceived notions or headcanons of you stuck in their head to the point that it is Reality #i think part of why my dad started actually *trying* to accept me was him realizing that i was actively hiding things from him... #...like he loves me and our relationship is fine now but i'm not going to pretend like he didn't massively blunder after i came out #and if it turns out that your parents don't ever come around (gd forbid) then you aren't obligated to keep them #you don't choose your parents but you can choose your family i think #i always always hope that parents come around to their child/ren and the reality of who they are but i recognize how messy it all is #anon i wouldn't blame you one bit if you feel many complex or 'negative' emotions toward them #i have many complex feelings about this and that's my own baggage. i hope i haven't put words into your mouth or assumed anything too much #i am sending you best wishes and care. this too shall pass💛

[carefulfears]

thinking about "you have a life" / "i don't know what i have" + "what do you want, dana?" / "i want everything that i should want at this time of my life" + the perceived shame in scully's loss of normalcy... "unlike you, mulder, i would like to have a life" + "do you believe in the afterlife?" / "i'd settle for a life in this one" + "don't you ever want to just stop? get out of the damn car? settle down and live something approaching a normal life?"

her friend ellen saying, "well, first you have to get a life." tara, pregnant with their christmas gift, saying that life before one grew inside her was "somehow...less, just a prelude," while barren dana cries in the kitchen. "i know you and dad were...disappointed...that i chose the path that i'm on."

thinking about how mulder said, "this is a normal life," and how she smiled. (he doesn't know any different). how, in the end, he said, "hey, scully? i know it's not your normal life, but thanks for coming out there with me."

(christmas before quantico, "i guess i'm afraid of making a big mistake. dad thinks i am." and missy's response: "it's not his life, dana.")

her application to adopt emily was rejected: "you're a single woman who's never been married or had a long-term relationship. you're in a high stress, time intensive, and dangerous occupation."

bill's reaction: "sounds like something your partner would say. this isn't about any little girl, dana. this is about you. it's about some...void, some emptiness inside you that you're trying to fill."

and mulder to the judge: "the fact that she can adopt this child, her own flesh and blood, is something i don't feel i have the right to question, and i don't believe anyone has the right to stand in the way of."

(that last christmas with missy before everything: "there is no right or wrong. life is just a path...just don't mistake the path for what is really important in life. the people you're going to meet along the way. you don't know who you're going to meet when you join the FBI. you don't know how your life is going to change, or how you're going to change the life of others.")

and ultimately, it all leads to a leather couch. and after contemplating that sacrifice of normalcy, what she should want, the decisions she could have made, she says, "i once considered spending my whole life with this man...what i would have missed."

she could've been a doctor, like her father wanted. she could've settled down, married waterston, had a normal life, like her friends and brother wanted. but what would she have missed?

"what if there was only one choice and all the other ones were wrong?" / "and all the...choices would then lead to this very moment. one wrong turn, and...we wouldn't be sitting here together."

#i truly believe that what's made this show so lasting and rich to so many generations #is how completely in touch with raw human experience it always was. there was always this kind of bleak undertone of...this is how it is... #and very rarely was it ever overcome or accepted or boldly subverted. it just was. #the pressures and the grief and the traps of abuse and trauma and power structures. this is how it is. this is how it feels. #'people thought the storyline and characters for x-files made it a 'dark' show but i never saw it that way. #i always thought mulder and scully were the light in dark places.' #my favorite quote about the show and why i think it's so comforting. it's the harsh reality of the world #of which mulder and scully are not exempt #but it's also mulder and scully going wherever they are needed with their unending kindness and their perseverance and their passion #and they bring all of those things to each other too. that's why she chose THIS life. despite it NOT being normal. #despite it NOT being what her father wanted for her. despite it NOT being easy. she chooses it over and again #because he is bringing light to dark places and she wants to be where he is and she wants to be doing important work. she wants to be #'on the side of the victim' #and that's rarely supported by societal structures and it's hard. but like she says #what would she have missed?? #txf.txt #you people make me crazy when you dismiss her decisions and act like she Ruined Her Life or mulder Ruined Her Life #congratulations! you've missed the point! #all things #emily #dreamland

[mstrchu]

can someone else please please look at this set of images before i go insane

#nezha reborn #LOOK AT HIM he is literally just... a kid...... looking for some comfort from his dad............ #it's about to be 0 days since our last nonsensical overly emotional post about li yunxiang #it was never that lyx didn't care about what his father thought or didn't want for his approval because he does want it. he does care. #it was just something he accepted he wouldn't have as long as he continue to choose to do what he thought was the right thing #and the 'right thing' was important enough to him to give up on his dad's support #which says something about how important the 'right thing' is to lyx #and up till now it was fine because it affected no one but him #(and if you think about it it is kind of a very immature and idealistic mindset #because if he had gotten caught doing his little smuggling and property destruction it 100% would have affected his family #but i like that i think it's part of his character.. anyway....) #but now his refusal to do what his dad wanted him to do - get a normal job and keep his head down - is like. actively hurting his family #and altho it was the right thing and he couldn't have predicted that ao bing would go completely nuclear #or that the de group would send assassins after him because of the whole reincarnation business #you could say that kasha and li jinxiang's injuries are a direct result of him refusing to just roll over and sell ao bing his motorcycle #(which i think is exactly what ljx was gonna say before he got bodied by that monster truck lol) #and in this moment when he has effectively just put 2 of the people closest to him in the hospital #i think he can't help but look for a little comfort from his dad because he feels so so guilty and confused and upset #but he gets that door shut in his face and he's reminded that he had chosen to not have that #that he had made choices that led to this being the reality of his relationship with his dad. and he is supposed to be ok with that #and then he falls back on his anger and the moment is sort of over but like #bro... at this point li yunxiang has no one bro.... #L + ratio + kasha and brother in the hospital + dad can't even look at you + dead mom + separated from extended family when you fled the wa #+ no close friends your own age #and it makes me sad because lyx must have been pretty close to his dad when he was little #i think this + the moment where he's outside the door listening to his dad talk #just fuels the miasma of guilt #guilt over his own actions. guilt over nezha's actions. questioning if he is or ever was making the right choices #but also it's not about any of that it's just about how huge and wet his eyes look here amen

[ceruleanfuckup]

I'm so excited for my D&D campaign

#i ran one in this world for two and a half years where everything is ravaged by dragons #but now theres been a somewhat revolution because one of the only surviving major cities was impulsively conquered by my players #so things have been shaken up a lot and now they have a holiday because they brought i think three gods to earth at once #two of my players became the vessels of the gods of light and darkness and duked it out and fast forward a year or two #and their hold on the economic powerhouse of the continent is solidified and they have partnered with an organization #that specualizes in magical artifacts from every concievable reality #and my NEW campaign is people hired by this organization #The Forge of Wonders #they have this entirely greyed out library full of strange books that when you pick them up gain color and you can read their spines #and these books are stories. theyre fairy tales. theyre pirate adventures. theyre dragon babysitting. theyre demon apocalypses. #and these stories are worlds. theyre stories in truth. and my players have been hired to dive into the stories and retrieve Thing #for the forge of wonders #which means i get to make WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT BITCHES #i get to be so fucking impulsive with my story crafting #and im not going to balance anything correctly. theyre just going to have to assume from the summary in the front page if its doable #demon apocalypse? probably outside of our level. gnome tinkerers? probably not too bad #and ill have prebuilt stories and something theyre taked with retrieving and they get to choose which onr yhey do #anyways the forge of wonders started as a magic shop that only accepted platinum (1000 gold) as currency so they did a lot of shopping ther #i just took that old document full of crazy magical items and i tweaked it and molded it and added to it and the new version is 33 pages 🥰 #thats what ive been doing at work the past three days lol #dnd #my dnd

[dieletztepanzerhexe]

i plan on staying single until i'm at least 30. tubal ligation has many dangerous side effects like post tubal ligation syndrome that according to some statistics affects even like 30 percent of women who undergo it and apparently is more prevalent in younger ppl and well, i'm in my early 20s but i've seen also posts from women in their late 30s who suffer from it (so maybe it's not dependent on age of patients but it's just once again medical misogyny??). i can' even research these things bc i get sick and disgusted after seeing words related to female r*productive system

#i said i'm staying single until at least my 30 birthday but its more of a general idea. like waiting for a really long time #it's quite possible that i will always be single my whole life bc men are pornwatchers etc and it's better to spend life without a #shitty worthless partner than to accept something degrading #my reasoning is: in my celibate life i don't have to worry about it UNLESS something happens. and then if i won't have my tubes tied i woul #be in real trouble :/ #i would kill myself rather than accept biological reality #i know it. i'm so disgusted by the biological aspect. all the dangers. risks. i wouldn't let my body undergo it. i would just choose to end #i'm not even thinking about the consequences and implications of not killing myself. ewwwww no #tw reproduction implied #tw reproduction mention #moje

[sandinthepipes]

I've figured it out.

The reason Merlin's fics still come out every day. The reason ofmd has so many fics and content.

It's the hope.

They both leave you on the moment right before resolution. They've shown you something good is coming and leave you wondering what it could be.

It's not a cliffhanger, there's isn't "oh no this bad thing is going to happen but maybe not", it's the opposite.

#that said Merlin's ending is still the most traumatic shit to ever happen to my brain and I'm very much not a sheltered child #it's bad and evil and sad and excruciatingly painful #And sure you can read the truck scene as the most heartbreaking thing ever where merlin just refuses to accept reality #BUT I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE THAT IF ARTHUR WASN'T MEANING TO RISE AGAIN THAN THERE SHOULDN'T BE ANY PHYSICAL REASON FOR MERLIN TO BE IMMORTAL #it's like saying people evolved with air breathing lungs just for them to live under water #and if one single person points out how dolphins or wales doso I'm going to personally turn them into shoes #merlin #bbc merlin #merthur #ofmd

[pipstr]

I decided to reupload this post because of misunderstanding that it caused. (English is not my native so sometimes I make mistakes with translations)

652 chapter when he says it btw

#i didnt mean anything illegal first off all #it was like leo dicaprio vibe #date until she is 26 lmao #please accept my apologies #what did it turn out to be #uh #too cursed #but the fact that most men in reality choose younger girls is a fact #bleach #bleach fanart #bleach brave souls #shunsui kyoraku #kyoraku shunsui #bleach kyoraku #ukitake jushiro #bleach ukitake #jushiro ukitake

[orcelito]

I think the #1 thing to make writing good is to just. Stick to your guns. Take yourself seriously. If you treat your writing as if it's serious, even if you're doing some crazy shit, people are willing to believe it. The moment you doubt what you're doing in your writing, it's gonna shine through. So even if you're scared, pretend you're not until you get the hang of it & no longer feel so scared

It's worked for me so far 😅

#speculation nation #this kind of thing is why i never mention on ao3 when im nervous about a chapter #bc i do get nervous. i get nervous Plenty. #anytime i do something different from my norm. or bring in a new aspect of the story. Anything. #im nervous. i am! #but i dont mention it on ao3 bc so long as i portray that i know what im doing. people tend to believe it. #with this kind of thing you can do shit like 'so Yeah he has telepathy and can listen in on thoughts but he chooses not to #bc it would be an invasion of privacy' #i just kinda decided that and put it in the story. explained my thought process for the decision in the end notes #but ive never tried to over-defend it or anything. especially not in the text. #it's just a Thing that he can do. he accepts this as his reality. no need to over explain in the text where this comes from. #Stick To Your Guns. if your characters treat it as a given then your readers will too. #this has been Writing Advice by Fanny Orcelito. more to be shared later (maybe.)

[definitelyforsurenotbees]

How many people are talking about the election:

Biden: Genocide and continued colonialist policies. This is horrific and unarguable. 😓

Trump: Also genocide and continued colonialist policies. This is horrific and unarguable. 😓

“~~These things are the same and voting for Biden is voting for genocide #genocide Joe!!!!!!!~~”

The reality:

Biden: Genocide and continued colonialist policies. This is horrific and unarguable. 😓

Trump: Also genocide and continued colonialist policies 😓….AND mass deportation of immigrants the likes of which we’ve never seen AND detailed explicit agendas to eliminate trans people AND policies that guarantee future environmental damage AND stacking courts with judges who will continue obliterating rights long after trump is gone AND demolishing already fragile international relations AND white nationalism AND normalized white supremacy AND DIARRHEA FOREVER (there is not an emoji that encapsulates the level of devastation this reality encompasses)

I feel like I’m losing my entire mind watching people ON PURPOSE opt in to the second option by declaring they won’t vote.

#fucking free Palestine obviously #I don’t know how else to say that choosing not to vote is directly oppposite to that goal #the reality is that one of these candidates will win. this is indisputable and I’m sick of people conveniently ignoring that #once you accept that reality it seems pretty stupid to not try to prevent Diarrhea Forever from gaining power #politics

[z00r0p4]

I kind of actually think the postmodern affinity for constructionism will be the downfall of society as we've known it and not in a good way.

#I woke up in a mood and with hot takes #Don't confuse this for the idea that nothing is constructed #im not a strict primordialist #but strict constructionism is not the 1-stop shop to create social good and nobody is realizing that quickly enough #so much damage is being done. Look at our schools. Look at the ipad kids. Look at our minds. Our values. #Sooner or later we have to accept that there are at least some objective and ontological realities #and the constructions we've attached to them are just what we've chosen to name them. #The constructions often come from how we choose to make sense of those objectivities of humanity and its social realities.

[moomeecore]

Lol why do you defend bpd Seek help fr

bpd?? like. like borderline personality disorder? like, the mental disorder? that people have??? "defend bpd"???? DEFEND it?? from what??? abelism??? misinformation?? this ask is kinda mind boggling dude. like wow.

just so u know i am getting help for my multiple mental disorders :) that i have. ik that's not what u meant by "seeking help" but what does that rlly reflect other than ur lack of knowledge on mental health issues? wow i definetly trust you to be super educated on mental disorders considering you used "seek help" as an insult. ur rlly winning me over here.

here's a genuine question for you: have you tried seeking... i don't know... a reputable source on bpd? information on what it actually is, what it actually means to have bpd? or is ur only source of information that's led you to this conclusion.. reddit posts, listsicles abt "how to spot a borderline/narcissist/sociopath uwu" & ur own personal conclusions made from meeting one person w bpd one time ever.

#god i hate ppl like this #and the nerve to swnd an ask abt it. thats so PATHETIC LMAO #u care that much??? u r THAT dedicated to actively hating ppl w a certain mental disorder?? #..and u think IM the one who should 'seek help'?? #pls try reflecting a little bit. what got u to the point where u #(and ik u did this bc i dont think ive ever said anything else abt bpd) #u saw my comment sympathising w someone w bpd who got a rlly horrible disrespectful ask talking abt how 'evil' ppl w bpd are #CLICKED on my profile. and sent me this ask #ur short sentences and use of lol dont fool me. you are WAY TOO invested and u need to find something else to do w ur life #smthn that dosent hurt ppl! that dossnt spread misinfo or make ppl feel bad or encourage stigma!! maybe try doing a little reaserch paper #on bpd where u make sure to check the credibility of ur sources rather than looking at listicles like 'top 10 signs u know a NARCISSIST!!! #or if that sounds like too much work 4 you ..u could try minding ur FUCKING buisness . log off tumblr & try like #knitting or smthn. idk man. pick up a hobby please. for ur own saks #and for the sake of all the ppl w bpd out there who ur mercilessly treating like shit in order to put urself on a moral pedestal #bc ud rather pick & choose to beleive the 'easy' perception of life where ppl can be diagnosed with Bad Person and u get to feel better #than them .... than educate urself on the real world & accept the reality that things r more nuanced & complexed than that #(this ask didnt actually piss me off as much as it may seem. its p tame. i just have been complaning abt this sort of thing latley #and jumped at the bit to ruthlessly tear apart someone w these sort of beleifs. like u came to me dude lol. thanks for the free invite to #go feral lmaoo) #text

[hargrovel]

i literally do not know that billy is canonically dead.

#it’s not even abt not accepting it i just - he’s not dead in the reality that i choose to exist in #every time i see a post that has any version of ‘billy is dead’ in it i remember for a split second and it’s immediately gone #intensive emdr could not surface a lasting memory of his death at this point #billy hargrove

[peridot-tears]

I was chatting with my 弟弟 from China who's been in NYC for less than a year, and manz was talking about how he's afraid of taking the subway. I was damn shook, because that means he's been walking to our gym and hasn't seen much of the city.

He explained that people would push him, and just walking on the street people would try to shove or fuck with him and make racist remarks.

I was just like, "说出难听话，这些事我早习惯了。”

His response was, “我知道我该习惯上，但是我不想。”

#cw racism #cw anti asian hate #i always stick up for myself and those around me so i don't mean this in a passive way #but every time you step out the door and go exploring the city you do run the risk of being racially harassed or attacked #and the tension is something i have to live with especially now #every time you choose a fight you accept the risk that comes with it #i think every time someone from asia comes west they can't stand even a little bit of microaggression #and then they can't believe that this is just how i live #it's just a reality check every time that this is not okay #tears falling like peridots

[psalmsofpsychosis]

You know what, i'm a bona fide pessimist. That's really just what being mentally eel is like, but yeah, it's a thing. It's spectacularly easy for me to focus on the things that aren't working out, things that are going wrong, things that are unsatisfactory, focusing on fear and grief and frustration to the point that it's almost all i see.

I like problem solving. I like a good challenge and i like getting rid of problems but for problem solving you first got to acknowledge the problem and sometimes you create problems where there's none because focusing on problems becomes a comfortzone, it feels safe. It is what you know, it is what you're good at. And everybody likes a little bit or a lot of comfortzone.

And the "just think positive thoughts!!! see the bright side!!! there's nothing wrong here keep a gratitude journal count all your blessings!!!" shit never worked for me, i doubt it ever will (HAHA PESSIMISM). When optimistic people try to point out the good things around me and in my life, i often dont percieve it as a geniune offer of help; all i feel is misunderstood, my concerns trivialized and my legit [to me] worries dissmissed. I feel unheard and small, and end up feeling so much resentment towards the aforementioned optimists.

But there's something, i discovered it a month ago, and it's doing wonders for my sanity. There's a long road from pessimism to optimism, it's a long journey and it's not one you can take when you're feeling particularly overwhelmed and terrible.

But there's a relatively short distance from pessimism to neutrality, and it works.

pessimism is a super narrow mindset; so is optimism. In both cases you eliminate and gloss over half of reality in order to keep persevering in what you think is the key to survival. Neutrality is the ground between the two, it's where most of life happens. It's where things aren't good or bad, they're just complex and nuanced and real with all the good and bad and everything inbetween.

And neutrality is the space in which your point of view expands.

So what i've been doing is, when i start to hyperfocus on things that are going wrong and it's all i see, i tell myself that it's okay, and what i percieve is true. It's legit, it exists, i accept it. But it's not the entire picture as i think it is; it's only half of it, most likely even less than half of it. And then i keep asking "what else? what more is here? what am i not seeing?" and most often it's the neutral things, besides the obvious goodness in the world. Neutral grounds in which nothing too big or extraordinary is happening, small stuff that dont feel special. "This tastes terrible" turns into "this has a sharp taste. I dont have a preference for sharp taste; i have a preference for sweets." "this person is being mean" turns into "this person exists in the same space as me, they're using their vocal chords and producing words. humans tend to do that."

And suddenly the world is so much more bearable to be in. I catalogue taste, touch, sound,smell,sight notes in the environment in a neutral language ("this table is dark blue; the edges have been rounded up to avoid injury"), and it actually helps me to catalogue the goodness in my environment too, simply because neutrality is inclusive, it doesn't cut off mountains of data just to keep you on your respective bullshit. Neutrality is where you say, "that's true. What else do you see?"

#This is also helping me so much in dealing with my physical pain #because i used to focus solely on where i have pain and now i'm like "oh. at any given time there are parts of my body that feel neutral. #Nothing particular is going on here. nice.'' #and i'm finding neutrality so grounding and kind in a way that positivity isn't #for me #i dont like being dissmissed for the problems i see; but neutrality is not dissmissive. it's accepting and inclusive #And the way i can expand my vision with a neutral ground helps me to actually see that yes; there is a lot of goodness around me. #there's so much to love #it's just that i dont want to jump into optimism; i dont find it adequate. i dont want to be a pessimist either #it's literally fucking up my life beyond measure <3 #i want to be neutral. i want to make space for ''everything'' not just part of reality #and right now i'm especially allergic to people who mistake ''the world is fucked we're all gonna die'' pessimism with being realistic #like no <3 the world simply is. Do what you can and choose your path; the rest is not your fucking business #on psychology #pessimism #mental health #Farimah blabbers #''see the glass as half full!!!'' that i can't do not really #''there's a glass here. half of it is water; half of it is air.'' THAT i can very much do!!

[c4rdsharp]

     meechi. something i wish to acknowledge & bring to your attention on this blog is that, while Luck is a very kind person who doesn’t outright enjoy the work he does, it was work that he chose to do knowing full well what it would entail. I feel this is an especially important distinction ; he’s not someone that’s been forced into this position. Yes, he was young when that choice was made by him ( he agreed to take the family mantle at the age of 13 ), but Luck would never say it came from ignorance or idealism. He knew what his father did for a living, he knew what his brothers wanted to do, he knew that he was going to do it as well. I do feel a certain loss for the fact Luck didn’t live a normal life, but it’s in the fact he actively chose not to is what makes it tragic, and that he willingly put more value in being seen as a villain rather than a good person. That’s where most of Luck’s conflict lays, and it adds a certain element to his character. He was no passive bystander to fate ; he chose that fate for himself. It’s why he’s willing to accept any & all punishment that comes from it. Luck wanted to become the villain & do so perfectly despite his natural tendency towards kindness & empathy -- and while he’s far more forgiving than most criminals of his kind, it’s still important to know that he’s not someone devoid of criticism for it.

#( out of character. ) hold my cards i’m projecting #( hc / meta. ) i’m all talk with a thorn in my side. #// it's something i don't really talk about much on here #// but i DO want it to be known that Luck's personal feelings about himself & his villainy #// have a grounding in reality and that it's not really out of self pity #// a lot of it is knowing the kind of person he's choosing to become #// and willing to accept the consequences therein #// he's not being hard on himself TO be hard on himself #// it really is just a point of reality for him