#i carried around a plastic knife and a stuffed animal all day

[dearlydecayed]

Soup for Shigaraki

Mmm yes first fic. No idea how this works, so just do whatever Tumblr users do if ya like it ig Summary: You're a member of the league when Shigaraki falls ill, and of course doesn't take care of himself. Being the good villain Samaritan you are, you do it for him.

Pre-relationship (?)

Word Count + Warnings: 1,665 - Sfw, Shiggy swears at you and is a bastard in general, and descriptions of sickness. Not beta read.

-----

It's been three whole days since you'd seen him- since anyone else had seen him for that matter.

The entire league was off doing busy work to kill time; little side-missions and personal vendettas to fulfill while they waited. While you waited. While the world waited.

Shigaraki couldn't exactly lead a revolution while bedridden.

Dabi and Toga had left the base a few minutes ago, Dabi huffing in general annoyance while the latter trailed behind cheerily. She had invited you along, but you declined. You had someone to check on.

Pushing yourself off the counter you had been leaning against, you turned to the broad and decrepit expanse of cabinets that made up the bar. The top rows were filled with glasses, cups, and bottles, so you worked off a foggy memory as you scrounged the lower levels. Sure enough, your hands made contact with a singular dusty can. Aha. Pulling it out, you grimaced at the expiration date but nonetheless cranked the lid open with the pocket knife you carried. Red liquid sloshed in the tin, and you gave it a cursory sniff. At least it still smelled like tomato soup.

Rummaging through another drawer, you found a clean-ish spoon and rinsed it off in the sink. Unable to find a pot, you made your way over to the small stove-top in the corner.

The scent of gas filled the air as the ancient device clicked to life, and you were reminded of why no one used it when Dabi was around. Placing the can directly on the burner, you couldn't help but hum to drown out the sound of metal scrapping metal as you stirred the broth; steam wafting through the air as it began to boil.

The best you could manage for a hot pad was a tattered rag as you took the tin off the stove; and let the scent of tomato soup soothe your concerns of expiration. Dipping a finger into the cooling liquid, you confirmed that it tasted about right too.

Now for the tricky part...

Same as when you'd checked it earlier, his door was locked. The hallway was as silent as it had been for days, and worry crept into your periphery as you again pulled out your pocket knife. Picking the lock was an easy feat, and you soon stepped into your leader's dark room, tin can in hand. You'd only observed the space in passing prior to this, and you took a moment to take it all in.

It was a lot more cluttered than you had anticipated, his walls lined with shelves of fandom paraphernalia and books. Dark clothes littered the floor and haphazardly hung off a hamper in the corner- interlocked with junk food wrappers and boxes.

You would've lingered longer at the sight if a pathetic sniffle hadn't caught your attention; your gaze drawn to a slumped pile on his bed.

There, your noble leader lay snot-faced and unconscious as his throat rasped with every breath. His face lacked its usual paleness, instead graced with a red flush, and you knew his temperature would be scorching by the sweat on his brow. Regardless, you set the can down on his desk, and sat yourself on edge of his bed.

Before moving further, you closed your hands on both of his wrists. Instantly, his arms relaxed, rendering his hands immobile for the near future. Benefits of a paralysis quirk included immobilizing your delirious boss, apparently.

You then confirmed your prior hunch as you placed a palm against his forehead, clammy skin shuddering at your touch. A gurgled groan escaped as he squirmed under your hand, his brow furrowing as some form of consciousness returned to him.

His eyes still closed, a croaky "Kurogiri..?" was offered as you propped him up against some pillows.

"Mm. Afraid not, boss"

In the moments it took him to process your words, you moved the soup can to in between your thighs, bringing a spoonful of liquid into the air in front of him. His bleary eyes opened a few times, clearly straining to gain some awareness and failing miserably as they fell shut again.

You shushed him, and readjusted. "Shh shh, 's just me, boss. I've got some nice, warm soup for ya." To illustrate your point, you teased the spoon to lightly rest against his chapped lips, desperately hoping he remained passive instead of really waking up and throwing a fit.

Blessedly, he did no such thing.

Rather, his lips finally parted and you were able to ease the spoon in, letting the liquid fall into his mouth. He swallowed, made a noise, and you took it as a sign to get another spoonful.

Time became irrelevant as you spoon fed him, his tense shoulders falling and his face relaxing as soup levels fell. The only sounds in the whole base were his raspy breaths and the spoon scraping against the can.

When the can was about half-way empty though, he became fussy and pursed his lips again, refusing the spoon. You also noted that his fingers were beginning to twitch, and you took it as a definite sign to bolt.

However, you didn't leave until he was laid back down and tucked in.

A cup of water left on his bedside table, you locked the door on your way out.

-----

"What the fuck are you doing."

Rather than a writhing mass on his bed, you were greeted the next day with a much more conscious Shigaraki.

Reheated soup in hand, you stood dumbly as the door clicked shut behind you.

The next few moments were tense as he stared you down, before being interrupted by a painful cough racking through him. As he tore open a lung, you let your gaze drift to his bed side table where an empty glass stood.

"Oh good, you drank some water."

His scarlet glare was again directed at you after briefly glancing at the table himself, and he sneered. "The fuck do you want."

You blinked at him, and raised the can up a bit. "Y' want more soup?"

This seemed to catch him off guard, and his bleary eyes met with the soup can for the first time since you entered. He sniffled, and moved to sit up. "Give it to me then get the fuck out." You raised your hands in surrender and stepped forward to pass the can to him. Sure enough, he snatched it like a feral animal and almost went to chug it before he noted the ragged edges were you had sawed it open, and instead went for the spoon with a petulant grumble. "D' ya need anything else or-"

"Fuck off."

"Mk."

Toga had asked later why you were buying chicken noodle soup, and you told her it was for emergencies. -----

He was sitting up and playing on a handheld device when you entered the next day.

Though sweat still clung his brow, his face had regained its normal paleness and his eyes were noticeably sharper when they snapped to you.

His gaze rather quickly re-centered on the new can of soup and glass of water your were holding however, and you stepped forward with a chuckle to set both on his side table.

Game forgotten, it was tossed down to the foot of his bed as he downed the glass you had given him. Before leaving, you glanced to the screen and recognition sparked in your gaze. "Oh, is that the newest installment?"

Now sipping at the remaining liquid, he eyed you over the rim and grunted in hesitant confirmation.

"Do you have the gold or platinum edition? I can't tell by the level you're on."

"S' gold," he croaked.

You hummed in acknowledgment, and left his room yet again.

-----

The next day, you walked right into his chest rather than his room.

"Ah," you offered after stepping back. "I guess you don't need anymore soup then?"

He stepped out into the hallway too, looming over you as you stepped back further into the wall. Red eyes clear as the night you had met him, he stared down at you while reaching for the can.

Four fingers brushed against yours as he took the soup from your hand, and he turned silently to walk down the hallway into the main gathering area.

Kurogiri took that moment to warp in, startling then quickly fussing over Shigaraki as he nonchalantly spooned the soup into his mouth.

-----

Life of course resumed after his recovery, and you quickly forgot about the night spent nursing your boss back to health as business continued as normal.

It wasn't until many nights later that you had any time to yourself, let alone him after days of making up work.

You had been sitting on a tattered couch well into the night, scrolling aimlessly on your phone when a plastic bag was thrust unceremoniously into your lap. Not looking up, you scrambled to unbag it when you saw liquid begin to cling to the plastic.

Pulling the warm container out and holding it upright, your brow furrowed at the sight. Sure enough, a styrofoam container of soup was sitting in your hands.

It was then that you looked up, and were unsurprised to see Shigaraki looming awkwardly near you. His hands were stuffed into his jacket pockets, and his eyes seemed determined to rest anywhere but you.

Not wanting to be rude to the man who disintegrates people on a whim, you offer an "Uh, thanks?"

He tches at you, and turns to leave. "I fuckin' hate soup," Is all he offers before he disappears around the corner, and his door slams shut.

You shrug, and pop the lid off to check the damage. It had spilled a bit in the bag, but was still a hearty portion. A plastic spoon was even attached at the side, and you plucked it off as you snuggled in to the couch.

You couldn't place the flavor, but enjoyed it nonetheless.

#shigaraki tomura #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki x you #shigaraki x reader fic #mha #bnha #sic fic

[bakubitch-minusultra]

Not Alone: Chapter Seven

-> an apocalyptic series with bnha characters but without quirks because im the writer and i can do whatever the fuck i want :P this ones a lil longer than the last

-> Word Count: 2.2k

-> Warnings: pervy doods, blood(?)

-> Taglist: @5sosfckss @laudthingcat [if you wanna be added lmk <3]

She didn’t look back. She knew he was watching her. She couldn’t bear to see the look on his face. His eyes would haunt her forever. She’s never left Hades before. He was always a part of whatever she did. He would wait in the woods while she raided houses, but he was still there. This was the first time she had ever turned her back on him and she didn’t know if she would be back.

She just put one foot in front of the other.

When the sun rose Y/n was in the middle of nowhere. She walked and listened to the music of the birds. The sun was above her and it was hot. Spring wasn’t like how it was when she was little. Now it was warm and muggy. She knew she was about halfway. Lost in the trail, she heard something she hadn’t heard in a long time, a buzz. She followed the noise to a hive. It was small and only half built but it made her feel good inside. She hadn’t seen a bee since before. She watched the busy bees for a little while longer before she turned back to the trail.

The sun had set and Y/n was starting to feel tired. She climbed a tree and laid against the trunk in one of the high up branches. After she closed her eyes, flashes filled her head instantly.

Her father was pushing her along the road. Cars and trucks filled the freeway. People sat in them still, but her dad didn’t think they had enough time to get out. He had waited for this day his whole life.

“Y/n we need to get to high ground and get away from these people,” his fingers bit into her back as he poked her.

“Dad, maybe we should go back home,” Her voice was small, compared to the noise of the masses.

“No. Run faster Y/n. We need to run.” He was in front of her, dragging her up a grassy hill. Her legs hurt. He had made her work out since she could remember. But it was late and she was tired. She thought a bad thought. A thought she would always regret. His erratic behavior forced the thought.

She heard a cracking noise and her fathers face faded away.

She woke and looked around but she saw nothing. Her eyes were blocked by something. She lifted her head and realized that she was face down in a bushy branch. The small branch she was resting her weight on was breaking. She struggled for a moment and pulled herself up, but the branch below her snapped and she winced as the noisy strike filled the air. Her heartbeat was throbbing throughout her body.

She had nowhere to go if anything had heard the noise. She stood perfectly still and willed her body to calm down. She couldn’t believe how close she came to falling out of a tree. She never slept in trees, she always chose underground. But tonight she had no choice. She had no plan. She felt naked without it. She stayed in the tree, rested her eyes and listened to the sounds of the night.

She climbed down before the sun came up. She never moved much during the day. It was one of her rules. But she had no choice, she was limited on time. She walked quickly, trying not to imagine the fever that had flushed his cheeks or the pain his leg was causing him. His eyes unnerved her, even in her own mind.

She saw the trees thinning and knew she was close. Her stomach was a bundle of knots and nerves. She walked as close as she could with her weapons and gripped them close to her as she had her last few seconds with them. She’s only been here once and it scared the hell out of her. She trembled and put them in a hole under a tree. She stuffed the bow to the very back of the hole and her knife. She shivered from the feeling of being without them.

She walked away and broke branches with her hands every few steps. She left the snapped ends hanging. It looked like a bear or other large animal had roamed the woods. Her father’s craziness would live inside her forever. The first few steps from the woods felt like wading through the river. Her legs ached, but the anxiety of being on an open road was making them feel like she was wearing cement boots.

Her breath increased and her peripheral vision became sharper. She saw a leaf blowing down the concrete. She could see an old brown stain and forced her brain to not hear the ripping and tearing. It felt weird to walk down a road. It had been so long she couldn’t remember the las time.

Just when she thought her stomach couldn’t hurt worse, she heard them.

They were a ways down the road but they hollered at her. She knew it was her they were shouting at. Her legs broke into a run for the gates of the town before she dared to glance at them. Her muscles pushed and her bullet hole stung.

She ran in a way she hadn’t in a long time. No backpack there to weigh her down, just a small pack in her hands. No heavy clothes because of the spring sun popping out. All she wore was a long sleeve shirt, cargo pants, and her thick soled boots she took from the dead. She was faster than she remembered being. It could’ve been that she was more scared that she remembered being. Her arms pumped as her legs dug into the ground. The forest green was passing her by in a blur.

She saw the guards. They wouldn’t protect her unless she reached the town. They would watch the men tear her clothes from her body and rape her in the field out front. The voices behind her were closing in. They were fast too. They ran more than she did.

“Don’t run baby. We’ll make it worth your while.”

She didn’t look back as she blasted through the guard gate and dropped to her knees inside the walls. She heard a guard through the blood pounding inside her ears.

“Halt.” Suddenly there were four guards there in front of the gate with huge guns. The five men who had chased her were bent over and breathing heavily. She saw the smirk of one of the men when his eyes met hers. He pointed toward her.

“See you on the way out. Maybe we can give you an escort home.” A shiver traveled up her spine. His grin scared her.

He was seedy and dirty and his skin made her want to gag. She moved away from the contact of a hand gripping her arm suddenly. An older woman helped her stand, “I won’t bite.” She looked back at the man and gave him the middle finger. Her dad called it the bird. “Not like them anyway.”

She smiled at Y/n. Her teeth were brown and Y/n thought that she was probably poor before the world ended. The poor lived longer than any of the rich. They already knew how to survive.

Y/n hated the smell of the town. She remembered that now, as the different smells washed over her. Sewage being the most distinct one.

“What can we do for you dear?”

Y/n glanced at the old lady. She didn’t trust her. No one trusted the townies. But she needed to remind herself of the desperate situation she was in.

“I need medicine for blood poisoning.”

The lady winced, “Are you injured?” Y/n shook her head.

“Not for me.”

“What kind of injury?”

Y/n paused, not wanting to talk to her. But she knew that she didn’t have time to take any chances.

“A stick went into his leg. I sewed it up but I think there’s pieces of bark still in there.”

She nodded, “I have just the thing.” She pulled Y/n along.

The town was a shantytown, made up of rundown houses and lean-tos. They would have been nice and pretty fancy before. Now the lean-tos almost seemed nicer. The walls surrounding the town were made of sharpened poles like out of a medieval village. She saw smelly people peddling their wares to passer-throughs and she felt like they had entered a dark age. She wished knights in armor were part of this nightmare.

Y/n was permitted to sleep one night with a purchase. She felt excitement she couldn’t explain at the idea of sleeping. Her rest in the tree was terrible. She was a passer-through. She could buy whatever she could carry. But buy was trade and she had very few things to trade.

The two entered a rundown house with stacks of papers and garbage inside. She could smell the garbage before she entered. The old lady cleared away a stack of plastic bags and other garbage from a long wooden counter. She lifted a white metal chest up and grinned her brown smile at Y/n.

“This is very special. It’s from the city. It’s what they use to treat the breeders. My son works there. He lets me have some, to help us here.”

Her words both disgusted and scared Y/n. Y/n couldn’t help but look around the room. She felt like an ambush would happen any second.

The lady laughed, “Kid don’t be a fool. He was taken there. He doesn’t work there because of the special perks.” Y/n gagged at the way she said perks and lifted her eyebrows. “He’s a doctor. All the doctors were taken.” Y/n didn’t feel any better at the thought. She felt herself panic at the idea of the breeder farms. “Girl you’re gonna have to wow me, for me to give you some of this.”

Y/n pulled out the big guns on the first try. She would try to bargain but she was in a hurry to get some sleep. She would have to sneak out of town in the middle of the night. The pervs at the gates had changed her initial plan. She passed the small blue bottle to the old lady and watched as her eyes lit up.

“Is it sealed?”

Y/n nodded and watched as the lady snatched it and kissed the bottle. She could feel her nose scrunch up.

She eyeballed Y/n with her crazy eyes, “How’d you get this?”

“My father had a health food store. He left me a couple bottles. This is the last one.” Y/n hated that she had given it to her. It wasn’t really her last one but it was still priceless.

She pushed three vials at Y/n from the white chest and pointed to the door, “Leave and tell no one what I’ve sold you.”

Y/n nodded, “Likewise.” The lady handed her the slip she needed to get a nights sleep at the Inn. She left feeling the old lady's eyes on her, but when she looked back she saw the lady hugging the bottle of tea tree oil like a nut. Her messy long white hair made her look like the evil queen from snow white, hugging the poisoned apple.

Y/n walked out onto the broken concrete street and looked around. She saw the Inn in the far corner of the shops. She kept her eyes low to the ground as she crossed.

“Bread miss? Eggs?”

She looked at a young man pointing to a house. She shook her head. She never ate anything that came from other people. Especially not townies. The sanitation there was far below the standards they had as a civilization. She heard rumors of a new plague last time she came through here.

She entered the Inn and looked around. A woman with bright red hair eyed her up and down. Y/n passed her the slip of paper and the lady’s face brightened up.

“Good to have patrons this early in spring.”

Y/n looked around, “How safe is this town?”

The lady shrugged, “Depends. A sweet piece of virgin ass like you is going to have troubles no matter where you go.”

She frowned, “Thanks.”

The lady croaked a laugh, “Precious, you’re risking a fuck ton coming here. The hunters are looking for breeders like you. Clean virgins.” Y/n passed her a diamond ring from her pocket and watched the lady’s dark brown eyes light up. “Luckily, a lady like me runs this Inn. You’ll be safe.”

Y/n smiled bitterly, “Wait until you see the ring you get when I leave here in one piece. Virginity intact.”

“I’d sneak out in the night if I were you. The things that circle town usually have what they want by sundown.” She turned back to Y/n and gave her a bright white smile, “Girls that look like you are fun.”

Y/n met her smile, “I’m fun. Just not in a way anyone appreciates.” She climbed the stairs and tried not to let her exhaustion be too obvious.

#tag time baby #im so tired #lol #mha #bnha #apocalypse #apocalypse au #mha angst #bnha angst #kirishima eijiro x reader #kirishima eijiro #mina ashido #kirishima #mina #y/n #kirishima x you #reader insert #fem reader #x reader #kirishima x reader #love triangle #eijiro kirishima #ashido mina #chapter 7 #angst #mha horror #bnha horror #horror #thriller #kirishima x y/n

[flirting-with-psychology]

1. I own a ferret. 2. My best friend is my boyfriend 3. My best friend is a girl 4. I use the word super way too much 5. I am a boy 6. I like My Chemical Romance 7. I own more than 100 CDs 8. I like discussing politics 9. I collect state quarters 10. The Legend of Zelda is my favorite video game. 11. I have Cingular 12. I love MAC makeup 13. I smoke too much 14. I own more than 5 bandanas 15. My favorite movie is Kill Bill 16. I watched Lamb Chop when I was young 17. I have my ears gauged 18. I can do HTML without guidance 19. I watch Spongebob Squarepants regularly. 20. I go to the movies at least once a week 21. I play guitar or bass 22. I love Elvis 23. I’ve had a mo/bi/trihawk before 24. I have met my favorite band 25. I like to hardcore dance 26. Something’s outside my window 27. I believe in ghosts 28. I do drugs regularly 29. I am straightedge 30. My favorite feature about myself is my lips 31. I have never consumed alcohol 32. I want a tattoo. 33. My favorite actor is Will Ferrell. 34. I have seen Conan O'Brien live. 35. I hate MTV 36. I used to watch Cheaters every week 37. I have my own vaccuum 38. Frank Sinatra is awesome 39. I sleep with a stuffed animal 40. I am scared of werewolves 41. I watch hockey regularly 42. I am originally from New York 43. I own an iPod 44. Some people aren’t funny. 45. I hate school. 46. My favorite vegetable is lettuce. 47. Tickle fights are fun. 48. I am currently unemployed. 49. I have my license 50. I hate spelling mistakes 51. I love Spanish class 52. I live in a big city 53. I have been to the Grand Canyon 54. I listen to music to fall asleep 55. I watch TV to fall asleep 56. I only get a few hours of sleep each night 57. I’m relatively innocent. 58. I am a size 3 or smaller 59. I’m bored. 60. Purple is my favorite color. 61. I hate flossing 62. I have a car. 63. I believe in God 64. I’m in love. 65. I used to love Unwritten Law. 66. Reno 911 is my favorite show. 67. There is a mini stapler on my computer desk. 68. Cuddling’s my favorite. 69. For sure. 70. I have a flip phone 71. I love my handwriting 72. I own a Louis Vuitton handbag 73. I want to be an astronaut. 74. I love the song Dragostea Din Tei 75. 50 Cent is not talented 76. I like scanners better than digital cameras. 77. I own at least one Punk-O-Rama CD 78. My room is sound proof. 79. I’m 5'5 or less 80. Lying pisses me off 81. I backstab people. 82. I have been in a fist fight. 83. I have PaintShop Pro. 84. It’s almost midnight 85. My nightlight is cracked 86. I only listen to Dashboard Confessional when I’m sad 87. And I feel like a pansy when I do so 88. I hate metal 89. I’m in a band. 90. Napoleon Dynamite is annoying now. 91. I love hickeys 92. I want to lose weight 93. My favorite channel is the Food Network. 94. I don’t have a CD burner. 95. Pixar is stupid except for the Incredibles 96. I own an apartment/house 97. I am engaged. 98. My computer’s a Gateway. 99. I hate driving. 100. I like watching boys sleep. =========================== 01. I miss someone right now 02. I don’t watch much TV these days 03. I love olives 04. I love sleeping 05. I own lots of books 06. I wear glasses or contact lenses 07. I love to play video games 08. I’ve tried marijuana 09. I’ve watched porn movies 10. I have been in a threesome 11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship 12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy 13. I have acne free skin usually 14. I like and respect Al Sharpton 15. I curse frequently 16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year 17. I have a hobby 18. I’ve been told I can suck the chromes off a trailer hitch. 19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me 20. I’m smart 21. I’ve never broken someone’s bones 22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal 23. I hate the rain 24. I’m paranoid at times 25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scars. 26. I need money right now! 27. I love Sushi 28. I talk really, really fast sometimes 29. I have fresh breath in the morning 30. I have semi-long hair 31. I have lost money in Las Vegas 32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister 33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S. 34. I shave my legs 35. I have a twin 36. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past 37. I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D. 38. I like the way that I look sometimes 39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months 40. I know how to do cornrows 41. I am usually pessimistic 42. I have a lot of mood swings 43. I think prostitution should be legalized 44. I think Britney Spears is hot 45. I have cheated on a significant other in the past 46. I have a hidden talent 47. I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have. 48. I think that I’m popular 49. I am currently single 50. I have kissed someone of the same sex 51. I enjoy talking on the phone 52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants 53. I love to shop. 54. I would rather shop than eat 55. I would classify myself as ghetto. 56. I’m bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders 57. I’m obsessed with my Livejournal 58. I don’t hate anyone. 59. I’m a pretty good dancer 60. I don’t think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington 61. I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother 62. I have a cell phone 63. I believe in God/ a higher being. 64. I watch MTV/Vh1 on a daily basis 65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months 66. I love drama. 67. I have never been in a real romantic relationship before 68. I’ve rejected someone before 69. I currently have a crush on someone 70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life 71. I want to have children in the future 72. I have changed a diaper before 73. I’ve called the cops on a friend before 74. I bite my nails 75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club 76. I’m not allergic to anything 77. I have a lot to learn 78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger 79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube’s newest “Friday” movie 80. I am sometimes shy around the opposite sex 81. I’m online 24/7, even as an away message 82. I have at least 5 away messages saved 83. I have tried alcohol or drugs before 84. I have made a move on a friend’s significant other in the past 85. I own the “South Park” movie 86. I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal 87. When I was a kid I played “the birds and the bees” with a neighbor or chum 88. I enjoy some country music 90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza 91. I watch soap operas whenever I can 92. I’m obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist 93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career 94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all 95. I know all the words to Slick Rick’s “Children’s Story” 96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy 97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it 98. I have dated a close friend’s ex 99. I’m happy as of this moment 100. I was born in the 80s but I am truly a child of the 90s  101. I have slapped john dasaro and chris burke in the face..on the same night 102. I haven’t showered in two days… and I like it. 103. i own every f***er here 104. I procrastinate all the time 105. I’m a nerd 106. I LOVE the movie The Wedding Singer. 107. i hate corn. 108. i’ve attended the rocky horror picture show 109. i’ve never seen Bambi the movie 110. Thinking about the future terrifies me 111. Without music there would be no point in living. 112. If I could change one thing about myself I would 113. If someone of the same sex liked me, I would date them. 114. I went to the mall today for 5 hours ================================ Would do Have Done

001. Bought everyone in the pub a drink 002. Swam with wild dolphins 003. Climbed a mountain *004. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive 005. Been inside the Great Pyramid 006. Held a tarantula. *007. Taken a candlelit bath with someone 008. Said ‘I love you’ and meant it. 009. Hugged a tree *010. Done a striptease 011. Bungee jumped *012. Visited Paris 013. Watched a lightning storm at sea *014. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise several times *015. Seen the Northern Lights 016. Gone to a huge sports game 017. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa *018. Grown and eaten your own vegetables *019. Touched an iceberg *020. Slept under the stars 021. Changed a baby’s diaper 022. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon *023. Watched a meteor shower *024. Gotten drunk on champagne *025. Given more than you can afford to charity 026. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope 027. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment 028. Had a food fight 029. Bet on a winning horse 030. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill 031. Asked out a stranger 032. Had a snowball fight 033. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier 034. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can 035. Held a lamb 036. Organized and planned a surprise party for a loved one *037. Taken a midnight skinny dip 038. Taken an ice cold bath 039. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar 040. Seen a total eclipse 041. Ridden a roller coaster 042. Hit a home run 043. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days 044. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking *045. Adopted an accent for an entire day 046. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors 047. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment *048. Had two hard drives for your computer *049. Visited all 50 states 050. Loved your job for all accounts *051. Taken care of someone who was really sick *052. Had enough money to be truly satisfied 053. Had amazing friends 054. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country *055. Watched wild whales 056. Stolen a sign 057. Backpacked in Europe *058. Taken a road-trip 059. Rock climbing 060. Lied to foreign government’s official in that country to avoid notice *061. Midnight walk on the beach 062. Sky diving *063. Visited Ireland 064. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love 065. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them *066. Visited Japan 067. Bench pressed your own weight 068. Milked a cow 069. Alphabetized your records 070. Pretended to be a superhero 071. Sung karaoke 072. Lounged around in bed all day 073. Protested something you feel strongly against 074. Scuba diving *075. Got it on to “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye 076. Kissed in the rain 077. Played in the mud 078. Played in the rain *079. Gone to a drive-in theater 080. Done something you should regret, but don’t regret *081. Visited the Great Wall of China 082. Discovered that someone who’s not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog 083. Dropped Windows in favor of something better 084. Started a business 085. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken 086. Toured ancient sites 087. Taken a martial arts class 088. Swordfought for the honor of a woman 089. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight *090. Gotten married 091. Been in a movie 092. Crashed a party 093. Loved someone you shouldn’t have *094. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy 095. Gotten divorced 096. Started an office war 097. Gone without food for 5 days 098. Made cookies from scratch 099. Won first prize in a costume contest 100. Ridden a gondola in Venice 101. Gotten a tattoo 102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on 103. Rafted the Snake River 104. Been on television news programs as an “expert" 105. Got flowers for no reason 106. Made out in a public place 107. Got so drunk you don’t remember anything 108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug 109. Performed on stage 110. Been to Las Vegas 111. Recorded music 112. Eaten shark *113. Drank an entire 6 pack by yourself *114. Gone to Thailand 115. Seen Siouxsie *116. Bought a house 117. Been in a combat zone 118. Buried one/both of your parents 119. Shaved all of your hair off *120. Been on a cruise ship 121. Spoken more than one language fluently 122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone 123. Bounced a check 124. Performed in theatre 125. Read - and understood - your credit report *126. Raised children 127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy *128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour *129. Created and named your own constellation of stars 130. Taken a bicycle tour in a foreign country 131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did 132. Called or written your Congress person 133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over 135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge 136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking 137. Had an abortion 138. Had plastic surgery 139. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived 140. Wrote articles for a large publication 141. Lost over 100 pounds 142. Held someone while they were having a flashback 143. Piloted an airplane 144. Petted a stingray 145. Broken someone’s heart 146. Helped an animal give birth 147. Been fired or laid off from a job 148. Won money on a TV game show 149. Broken a bone 150. Killed a human being *151. Gone on an African photo safari 152. Ridden a motorcycle 153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph 154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced 155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol 156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild 157. Ridden a horse 158. Had major surgery 159. Ridden on a passenger train 160. Had a snake as a pet 161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon 162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing 163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours 164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states *165. Visited all 7 continents 166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days 167. Eaten kangaroo meat 168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground 169. Been a sperm or egg donor 170. Eaten sushi 171. Had your picture in the newspaper 172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime *173. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about 174. Gotten someone fired for their actions 175. Gone back to school 176. Parasailed 177. Changed your name 178. Petted a cockroach 179. Eaten fried green tomatoes 180. Read The Iliad 181. Selected one "important” author who you missed in school, and read 182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them 183. …and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you 184. Taught yourself an art from scratch 185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating 186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt *187. Skipped all your school reunions 188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language 189. Been elected to public office 190. Written your own computer language 191. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream 192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care 193. Built your own PC from parts 194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you 195. Had a booth at a street fair 196: Dyed your hair blue 197: Been a DJ 198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal 199: Written your own role playing game 200: Been arrested ====================== 1. I have self-mutilated before. 2. I still love the song Dragostea Din Tei 3. I used to like New Kids on the Block 4. The 80s was funny. 5. I have realtones enabled on my cellular phone. 6. Public bathrooms scare me 7. I have keys on my belt 8. I’m not wearing a belt 9. I hate writing 10. I hate reading 1. I love compilation CDs 12. My favorite teachers have all been guys 13. I think Bad Religion’s only been around for ten or so years 14. I don’t know who Bad Religion is. 15. I don’t wear my hood unless it’s raining 16. I enjoy smaller clubs rather than big ones 17. I’ve put a song on repeat for more than 8 hours 18. I have sound on my computer  19. Someone wants my hiney. 20. My mom loves Elvis 21. I have my own computer 22. I live on the east coast 23. My favorite animal is a kangaroo 24. I’m on vacation 25. I don’t own a pair of ripped jeans 26. I am very insecure somewhat 27. I love to dance 28. I curse way too much. 29. I choose the pansy way and star out my curse words (f*ck) 30. I feel dumb because I was just called a pansy 31. I have a flatscreen computer 32. I collect something. 33. I’m married 34. I won’t date someone who’s smaller than me smaller, as in also shorter? 35. Brass knuckles are the shit. 36. I own a hand puppet 37. I write with blue pens 38. I wear eye makeup almost every day 39. I wish I lived somewhere other than here 40. I don’t own a band shirt. Not yet anyway.. 41. I love techno. 42. I have my nipples pierced 43. I’m shitty at wrapping presents 44. I know someone in the KKK 45. I’m racist/anti-semitist. 46. I don’t know what those mean. 47. I love life most of the time 48. I have posters all over my room 49. I’ve never been a camera whore with someone.. And I want to. 50. I’m halfway done 51. I wish I lived in the 80s 52. I know what the term borgie means 53. I’m interested in social hierarchy. 54. I love music videos. 55. I have a DVD player 56. I’m drunk right now 57. I’m listening to music 58. I have a big screen TV 59. I have an STD 60. I know the singer of the Clash’s name 61. The only IM program I have is AIM 62. I skateboard regularly 63. I live on the north side of town 64. I have been to Alaska 65. I’ve worn a cowboy hat 66. I watch late night infomercials for retarded, unnecessary things 67. I LOVE DOING THE DEATH GROWL TO MY FAVORITE METAL SONGS. 68. That last question was dumb. 69. I know what the word “peligroso” means in English 70. I speak another language fluently 71. I’ve been in a limo 72. I own a bong 73. My lungs hurt 74. I know someone who’s committed suicide 75. I’ve got a six pack and I don’t need you! 76. I know what band sung the above line 77. I like strong boys. 78. I’m sick right now 79. I know someone who’s currently enlisted in the army 80. I do not own a color phone 81. My birthday is in September 82. I hate mall cops 83. I hate most cops in general 84. I’m wearing blush 85. I live in an apartment 86. I’m still in high school. 87. I own something from Victoria’s Secret 88. I don’t know a boy that wears girls pants 89. I’ve had the same best friend since I was 8. 90. Brownies are my favorite 91. So is cake 92. I’ve heard the song “Looks Good in Leather” 93. I own some sort of propaganda, fake or real 94. I deny the Holocaust happened 95. Kisses are my favorite sign of affection 96. I need to charge my phone 97. My purse could pass for a suitcase 98. I take birth control 99. I only buy what’s fashionable

1. I love bolding 2. I know someone named Mimi 3. I hate my old best friend 4. My favorite alcoholic drink is Jack n Coke 5. I have a digital camera 6. I’m talking to at least one person online 7. I like watching college basketball 8. I have never moved. 9. I have at least one cat 10. I have at least one dog 11. I’m going to see a movie tonight maybe 12. I make my own AIM icons 13. I’m in pain 14. I watch more than five shows a day 15. I love the Cure 16. My parents like some of the same music I do 17. I have never been to the dentist 18. I listen to the radio 19. I do my own laundry 20. I’ve made at least one article of clothing 21. I have/want something on my face pierced 22. I go to at least one concert a week 23. I’ve written a story 24. I’ve dyed my hair every color of the rainbow 25. I own a Grand Theft Auto game 26. My favorite pattern is camoflauge 27. I know someone who does/did cocaine 28. I have too many game systems 29. I love scary movies 30. I hate scary movies 31. I’ve had sex more than 5 times 32. My favorite chips are Lays Original 33. I think butter is unhealthy 34. I hate the Osbournes 35. I used to have dreadlocks 36. I need to take medicine for something 37. I suffer from insomnia 38. I speak ebonics 39. I’ve gambled 40. And won 41. I have at least one gay friend 42. I like going to pet stores 43. I own a dog toy 44. And I don’t have a dog 45. I own more than ten candles 46. I’ve smoked a cigarette in the shower before 47. I’ve flunked a class 48. I listen to music every day 49. I have more than one nickname 50. I wear pajamas when I feel like it 51. I’m wearing more than one jewelry item 52. I haven’t washed my hair in a week 53. I watch the Grammy’s every year 54. Along with the Macy’s Parade 55. My favorite season is winter 56. I have seen the All American Rejects live 57. And I’ve enjoyed it. 58. Boobs are nothing special 59. I go swimming at least once a week in summer. 60. I have a pool. 61. I’ve gone skinnydipping 62. I’ve played strip poker 63. And lost 64. I want a nautical star tattoo 65. My cell phone turns off when it’s charging 66. And it pisses me off 67. I used to buy my entire wardrobe from Hot Topic 68. I’ve been to albinoblacksheep.com 69. My favorite subject is History 70. And/or math 71. I am a republican 72. I am a democrat 73. I listen to the Used occasionally 74. I have been to the Warped Tour 75. I am part Mexican 76. I am part German 77. All of my grandparents are still alive. 79. I love bowling 80. I know that there is a South Park, Colorado 81. I love Dairy Queen 82. Sometimes I think I’m crazy 83. I own a Moffatts CD 84. I own a Backstreet Boys CD 85. I want plastic surgery 86. Operation, operation, snip and tie, snip and tie 87. I know what song that line is from 88. I have killed something [bugs!] 89. I’ve never had a Nokia cell phone 90. I’m never sarcastic 91. Light eyes turn me on 92. I have never been to a foreign country 93. I don’t eat enough 94. I own illegal weaponry 95. I know someone who has overdosed on something 96. And lived to tell about it 97. I don’t own a pair of mittens 98. I love the heat 99. I’ve never had a steady boyfriend/gf 100. I want to makeout.

#survey

[h3llostrang3r]

An Heir is Born (TRH)

Liam x Sophie Word count: 2,104 Warning: Sophie likes to cuss. Summary: Sophie and Liam welcome their first child.  Notes: (pt. 1 of 2) Obviously, this throws canon right out the window. I thought it would be at least another year before I would have to think about my Liam and Sophie actually having their baby, but here we are.(I’m not ready!!) A couple of these ideas are not my own. I gave them a fun twist and added them as Easter eggs.

The time was ticking down as Cordonia waited for the future heir to make their debut. Sophie had finally reached the 9 month mark and now it was up to the baby to decide when they were ready. The nursery was complete, the King and Queen’s overnight bags were packed, and Sophie was more than ready to evict her tiny tenant from her uterus. 

“Sophie, please reconsider, my love. You are due any day now and it will be faster to get you to the hospital if you stay here at the estate.” 

Liam held his wife’s hands and brought them up to his lips, hoping this sign of good gesture would get her to change her mind. 

“Liam, I love you, but I am going crazy being cooped up here. If I don’t get out, I am going to call Olivia and she will escort me out … with a knife pointed at anyone who tries to stop me.” 

His face fell, “Will you at least let me come with you?” 

“Oh my dear husband, don't worry! We’re just going shopping. And Rashad has been waiting months for an audience with you, don’t break the poor man’s heart - he works hard enough. I promise to keep my phone nearby, okay?”

He finally nods in agreement and she gives him a playful kiss, her large baby bump slightly in the way. 

“Now a kiss for the baby…” 

Liam bends down, brings his face to her belly and whispers, “I will get you a panda if promise that you will not try to come out while you and your mother are out. One kick for a `yes’.” 

He waits for a response… nothing. 

“Hmm, they must be sleeping. Or they didn’t like whatever you were whispering about down there.” 

They both turn their attention as Hana and Maxwell arrive in the foyer, eager for their shopping trip with Sophie. 

“Looks like we’re off. Kiss for the road, please.” Liam lets out a sigh as he stands, and obeys his queen’s wish. 

****

They were finished with their last stop, the group waited for Sophie’s head guard, Xander, to pull up with the S.U.V. She pulled out her phone and facetimed her husband. 

“Hello, my love, how was your shopping trip?” 

“Hello, handsome. It was fun, we’re just waiting for the car and heading back to Thornwood.” 

Liam notices Maxwell in the background carrying an unusually large stuffed animal...was that a squid? 

“Sophie, what was Maxwell carrying?” 

She looks back at Maxwell and laughs, “A gift... for the baby… Hey, I’m starving. Would you mind asking the staff to start prepping -” Sophie suddenly looks down and her smile fades.

“Oh shit…”

“My love, is everything okay?”

“I just pissed myself.” 

“Soph?”

 Liam can hear Hana gasping in the background. After a few moments Sophie looks back up at the camera, the look of fear spreading across her face. 

“Liam…” 

“Love? Are you okay?”

“My-my water just broke.” Panic settles in her voice and she looks to Hana, who comes to her aide. Liam sees Maxwell frantically running with the giant squid, it’s head flopping around and tentacles flying every which way. He runs to the car to alert Xander about what just happened.

“My love, have Xander take you to the hospital. I’ll have Drake and a team escort me there. Deep breaths, don’t panic, okay?”

Sophie unable to speak, just nods her head. The camera moves around as they enter the car. All he can see is the ceiling of the S.U.V., followed by large purple tentacles, and then large plastic bulbous eyes. He can hear Maxwell and Sophie exchanging screams of panic, and Hana trying to calm them down. Unexpectedly, Hana’s face appears on the screen.

“Hi Liam. We’ll make sure Sophie gets to the hospital safely, we’ll see you soon!” 

The video call abruptly ends and Liam scrambles out of his seat to find Drake, the heir was on their way. 

“Oh god, oh god.” Maxwell brings his face uncomfortably close to Sophie’s belly, “stay in there baby, we’re not ready for you yet!” Suddenly he begins to take quick breaths in and out. He whispers to himself, “remember the Lamaze training,” and continues with his breathing techniques.

“Maxwell, you’re supposed to be coaching the mother-to-be not yourself.” Hana runs her hand over Sophie’s forehead, “hang in there Sophie, we’re almost there.” 

****

They manage to get Sophie checked in and settled into a private room. Maxwell paces back and forth, while Hana continues to try to comfort Sophie.

“Hana, the doctor says it’s still going to be a while. Would you mind maybe taking Maxwell for a distraction or something?” 

Hana nods and leads Maxwell out by the hand, telling him they should find a bakery to bring back cronuts for Sophie to eat later. 

Sophie sits in silence, trying to breathe through the pain. Deep breaths, Sophie, deep - fuck this hurts. Deep br- seriously, why does this hurt so much? 

Her thoughts are interrupted by the click of the door. Liam enters the room, her heart skips a beat every time he enters any room; she was a sucker for his regal stride and handsome face. He looked mixed with emotions, it was somewhere between pure joy and ‘dear god, this is really happening.’

“Are you alright, my love? How are you feeling? Can I get you anything? Tell me how I can help.” 

Sophie offers a sweet smile, and tugs him by his lapel, bringing him down for a kiss. She loved seeing Liam out of his element. He had the royalty card down, but these moments of vulnerability and normalcy is what she loved most. “I’m super hungry… Can you bring me something to eat? Maybe some Doritos? I would be so grateful for some chippies.” 

Liam brushes her hair back from her face, even amongst all the chaos she radiated with beauty. “I think the nurses said that your food intake should be limited now, but I believe they said Jell-O and popsicles are okay? I’ll go check.” 

Liam makes his way out of the room, his steps light with a slight bounce to them. Sophie’s stomach growls and she can no longer tell the difference between the contractions and hunger pains. She didn’t think applesauce and popsicles were going to cut it- she wanted some actual food. 

“Doritos!!” Her cries could be heard from behind closed doors to the nurses station, “my duchy, for some Doritos!!” 

No one answers her pleas, so she takes out her phone and sends out a text:

S.O.S. Am dying. Send help. 

… You’re not dying, Thorn. What do you need? 

Guardian of the Realm, you have answered the call of your Queen! She requires sustenance. She requires… Doritos. Cool Ranch. Please.

Why don’t you ask Liam ?

This is a secret mission, Drake. Only you and your Queen may ever know of this task. Now hurry! There is no time to waste!

He’s going to kill me.

No he’s not. Besides, you’ll have full protection from the Queen. 

Liam arrives back to the room with the food Sophie is allowed to have. She tries a small bite of the jello and lime popsicle. Both of these options sucked. How could a pregnant woman be reduced to eating jello and a popsicle when all she craved was a Dorito? 

“My love, this isn’t working. Can you see if they have applesauce and a cherry popsicle, please?” 

“As you wish, my Queen.” Liam chuckles as a places a gentle kiss to her lips and heads out once more.

Where r u???????

Moments after she sends her text, Drake arrives with a snack size bag of chips. 

“You may be the queen, but you’re a Thorn in my ass. You know that, right?” 

“Mmhhmm. Now gimme!!” He hands her the bag and she hastily opens it up. There it was in all its yellow-5 glory, she munched on the chip - eyes fluttering closed with delight and a low moan.

“Should I leave you two alone, Thorn?” 

She grabs another chip and shakes her head ‘no’. 

“You are my hero, Drake. Want one?” 

He chuckles as he shakes his head, “nah, I’m good. Feeling better now?” 

“You have no idea. I owe you big time. Oh, I know, I’ll build you a cabin. You want a cabin? I'll build one right behind the duchy, hidden in the woods.”

Drake gives her a wide smile and laughs, Sophie and him always connected on that level; life wasn’t always about fancy and expensive things. Sometimes all you needed was a bag of chips... or whiskey.

The door opens once more and she quickly shoves the bag to Drake, then licks the delicious remains from the Doritos off the tips of her fingers. Liam has returned with her requests. “Hello Drake, is everything alright? I thought you wanted to just stay in the waiting room?” 

Drake does his best to hide the chips from Liam’s view. “Oh ya, well-uh… I needed a break from Maxwell, so I thought I would go for a walk and I ended up here.” 

“Ah-I see. Well, here, have a seat and join us.”

“No-no that’s okay. I think I’ll take this walk outside for a bit. Hospitals creep me out. Good luck, Thorn.” 

He gives a shy wave as he leaves the room. “Thank you for keeping me company, Drake.” He gives Sophie a smirk just before he exits. Liam pulls a seat next to Sophie’s bed, displaying the food on her tray. 

“Alright, as requested - applesauce, and a cherry popsicle.” Liam looks to Sophie, noticing that she’s trying hard to hide her disappointment. “And I also brought you this…” 

From behind his back he offers her a bag of cool ranch Doritos. “I figured a chip or two couldn’t hurt.” 

Her face lights up and she wraps a hug around her husband's neck. Peppering kisses across his face. “You spoil me, you really do.” She claps her hands with joy then enjoys her allotted amount of chips. 

“It’s because I love you so much, my Queen.”

****

“I thought you said you loved me…” Sophie wailed as sweat ran down her forehead. The contractions were hard and she was fully dilated. Her legs were perched up and her grip on Liam was incredibly strong. 

“I do, my queen, keep breathing.” 

“You did this. You seduced me with your charm and ridiculously sexy body. Then you stuck this baby in me and now they won’t. Come. Out!!!” 

The doctor instructed her to stop pushing for a few moments and she rested her head back on the pillow. She shot a glare to the doctor, “For the love of Cordonia and it’s apples, get this baby out of me.” 

“Sophie, deep breaths, my love, please.” Liam tried his best to stroke her hair, and give her kisses of encouragement. “You’ve already proved that you’re capable of so much, you can do this.” 

They notice the doctor whispering to the nurse before she puts her attention back on them. “Your majesty, it appears the heir has decided to come out backwards. We’re moving you to the O.R. for an emergency c-section.” 

Her gaze shifts back and forth from the doctor to Liam. “What? No. NO.” Sophie releases Liam from her grip and places her hands on her belly. “We went over this, tiny human, face-down, ass-up. FACE-DOWN, ASS-UP.” 

****

Sophie is prepped and Liam is by her side, the room is quiet other than the beeping monitors, and the doctors and nurses talking. Liam distracts her with his favorite memories of them. From their magical night in New York during his bachelor party to the moment they realized they were going to have a baby. So many memories already made and many more to come. It was more than he could ever hope for; someone to truly love and care for, and now a child- their child.

“Liam, I’m sorry for yelling at you. I didn’t mean it, it’s just …trying to push a baby out of a vagina is hard.”

He gave her a comforting smile, and gently squeezed her hand. “I know, my love. You’re doing so much work for our child, you are so wonderful.” 

He leans to give her a kiss. She focuses her attention from the pressure down below to his soft lips. His stubble slightly tickling her face, but she enjoys every second. He pulls away and stares into her eyes, his eyes glisten. She is beautiful, loving, she is his wife, and the mother of his child. 

A baby’s cry fills the room, Sophie and Liam share another kiss, she feels a tear on her cheek that’s not her own. 

The Royal Heir is born.

#playchoices #liam x mc #the royal heir #trh #choices #h3llostrang3r writes #liam x sophie

[svtegg]

spaghetti and confessions (SVT apocalypse!au)

♡ wordcount: 3,1k ♡ chapter 12/? (ch.1, ch.2, ch.3, ch.4, ch.5, ch.6, ch.7, ch.8 ch.9 ch.10 ch.11)

♡ this won’t make any sense if you haven’t read the last part so make sure to catch up on those before reading! they’re all linked above!

♡ rating: PG-13 death/violence, language

♡ pairing: svt x reader

The warm, green summer quickly faded into fall, deep yellows, browns and hot reds taking over the tree lines surrounding the camp. The birds and other wildlife neighboring the site seeming to calm down as the temperature dropped slowly with each passing day. I had gotten to know the boys better with time, now seeing them as my group. I had grown closest to Mingyu and Soonyoung, Seungcheol still being the one I had spoken the least to even after almost two months. The leader of the group seemed to have warmed up to me a little more, often asking for my opinion or help on different tasks. Mingyu and Chan had decided, after the run I had gone on, that my shoulder needed at least a month to heal, so I had been put on cooking and cleaning duty for the last couple weeks.

As I stood in the kitchen and peeled some of the onions that Wonwoo had brought in from the growing garden out back, the door squeaked open. I turned my head slightly to look over my shoulders to peek at the newly arrived person. “Hi Jun!” I smiled at the man that had just come in through the swing-door from the dining area. He smiled back, flashing his upper teeth as his lips parted in a friendly smile before I turned back to the task in front of me. The man Joshua, Soonyoung and I had rescued along with Jihoon about a month ago had made a slow recovery, his face slowly filling out as his wounds and bruises healed. He had been slashed in the stomach by one of his crazed group members from the boat him and Jihoon had lived on for two years. His left leg had almost been broken in the brawl so now he was limping around on some makeshift crotches that Wonwoo had built him.

“What’re you making?” He asked as he peeked over my shoulder, his chin resting on my shoulder for a few seconds before he pulled away to lean against the white top counter. He was intently looking at my hands as they unpeeled the brown skin from the onion. I looked up at him, once again struck by how handsome he actually was. “I’m going to try and make some pasta, actually.” I answered, my eyes quickly shifting back to the vegetables on the counter. “You wanna help?”

As he cut some of the fresh tomato, we made light conversation. He was telling me about an incident in his group when the door swung up again. “Y/n, come help Mingyu and Chan, Joshua and Soonyoung came back-“ Minghao rushed in, half out of breath. I looked up at the man, his long black hair disheveled, probably from running, eyes blown wide and mouth half agape. Before anyone had time to mutter anything I bolted out from the building yelling over my shoulder at the two men to finish the food for me. The soil underneath my boots crunched as I took quick steps towards the familiar vehicle parked in the middle of the courtyard. The entire side of the car was smeared in brown, and I could only hope it wasn’t blood from anyone living.

I could see Mingyu’s back from where I was positioned, and the top of Chan’s head, his black hair ruffled and sticking into the air. And Joshua standing beside them, his face dark and dirty, speckled with splotches of dirt and blood. Soonyoung. It had to be him. Something was wrong. I could feel my heart drop into my stomach as I quickened my pace to make it over to the small group of men. The air was warm as I took a few deep breaths, the last bit of summer floating in the smell of grass and pine trees. As I took the last long steps over to Mingyu, my head was swimming, my heartbeat making my chest vibrate in time with each pump. “Josh, come over here and help me with this.” I heard a familiar voice say from the other side of the car and as I looked over at the person the voice was coming from I felt the breath I was holding leave my lungs. Soonyoung lifted a cardboard box and quickly walked away, Joshua trailing behind him with a tattered green backpack in his hand.

“Y/n….” Chan muttered, snapping my eyes that where focused on the two men who were turning the corner of the building I had just emerged from. I looked at the younger boy, then down at the ground where a tall man was lying. His black hair was messed up, sticking into the air crazily and his entire body was covered in dirt. He looked to be unconscious, eyes softly closed and face relaxed and still. From the right side in his chest, the handle of a knife. It looked to be the knife Joshua often carried on him. “What happened to him?” I said as I kneeled down beside Mingyu, who was squatting by the stranger’s feet. “Apparently, he had been trapped in one of those raider traps downtown, and when Joshua and Soonyoung tried to help him he had misunderstood and thought they where gonna kill him. It was a whole mess and they had to knock him unconscious on the ride back here because he kept trying to escape. Joshua accidentally lodged his knife into his shoulder when they stuffed him in the car.” Chan explained, looking down at the stranger, seemingly in worry. “How do we go about getting the knife out?” Mingyu rasped, running his hands over his face as he sighed.

I reached over gently, using the knife I kept strapped to my thigh to cut the dirty, sweat soaked shirt up. The mans chest and abdomen was covered in dark bruises, some looking fairly fresh and others almost yellow and green. The three of us decided to move him to room 5, which was the room we used to store all our medical supplies and medicines in, the bed in the middle of the room serving as almost a surgical table as Mingyu and I got to work trying to remove the blade from the mans chest. Chan was bandaging him up as I was cleaning off my hands with a rag. I slumped down into the garden chair that was placed by the door, looking over the strange man. “What happened to this man….” I silently wondered more to myself than anyone else as Mingyu appeared in the doorway. “He’s still unconscious?” He asked, a smart smile playing on his lips as he looked between me and Chan. I looked at him quizzically, knowing he had planned a stupid joke or something, the smile looking awfully similar to the smile he had bared the time he made the clown joke that no one had laughed at. “Yeah, why?” Chan said, his head lifted up from the sleeping man to look at Mingyu with a wondering look, his dark eyebrows almost disappearing into his hair as his eyes grew wide and round in surprise. “Oh, I just wanted to know what this guys name is!” Mingyu snickered as he pulled on a leash, a medium sized dog happily strutting into the room.

The dog was big, looking to be a mix of a German shepherd and something else, and when the animal spotted me it jumped up into my lap to greet me, its big paws resting on my thighs as it licked my hands to say hello. I could feel my heart melting. It had been years since I saw a dog, and even longer since I met a friendly dog, most of the canines where becoming wild at this point. As I petted the dog gently, cooing and talking to it I didn’t notice the previously unconscious man stirring on the bed.

The big dog tried several times before it was able to jump up on my lap and settled on my thighs after letting me pet its ears for a few minutes. Its fur was slightly stiff from not being washed and the animal smelled very strongly of mud and something else, its black and chocolate brown spotted fur lightly scratching my palms as its fluffy tail slowly hit my upper arm in an effort to show it was happy. As the dog started to fall asleep in the comfort, I looked up at the men in front of me. Mingyu was helping the man I didn’t know sit up while Chan opened his bottle of water to give him. The man looked exhausted, his face and clothes dirty and worn, dark circles around his eyes that made him look like he was already dead. He chugged down the water that Chan handed him, Mingyu chuckling from behind him as he stacked a pillow up along the wall so he could comfortably sit back. His cut shirt hung loosely around the clean, white bandage across his chest and the white fabric shone out at me through the dirty green material of his top. The man thanked Chan in a raspy and husky voice as he leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes in exhaustion, a ragged breath escaping his dry and cracked lips.

His face was, despite looking so dirty and exhausted, undeniably handsome. He had a long straight nose that stood directly out of his face, his cheekbones high and jaw chiseled in a perfect v shape. As Chan left with the dirty tools and the empty plastic wrappers that had previously held the bandages and alcohol pads that had been used to cover the small wound on the chest of the man sitting in front of me, a quick promise to bring some food for both the stranger and the dog leaving his mouth before he softly closed the door behind him. The man across me took a deep breath, the air leaving his lungs in a shaky ‘thank you’ as he looked between me and Mingyu. As Mingyu moved to sit at the edge of the bed, the dog in my lap lifted her head to look up at the man moving in front of us, watching over him until he settled at the edge of the barren bed, the mattress squeaking lightly under his weight as he shifted his body towards the man on the opposite side of him. “How do you feel?” Mingyu said, his voice sounding exactly like it did when he asked me that very question a couple of months ago. The man answered he felt fine, despite the circumstances, and then went into apologizing for causing trouble for Joshua and Soonyoung when they tried to help him earlier. I moved my hand over the back of the dog that had now settled back down in my lap, letting my fingers bury themselves between the thick strands of hair that stood up against the skin of my hand.

“I was stuck in one of those human traps that the raiders in Incheon have set up around the city. I was totally out of it, been going the last few weeks without much water and food and walked right into one. When your guys found me, I had been in there for hours, I thought they where gonna kill me. I don’t know what came over me. I’m sorry.” He apologized, his head bowed and voice quiet. “You don’t have to apologize.” Mingyu reassured him, leaning down to pat his outstretched calf. “Where you alone?” I asked silently, my eyes not leaving the strangers face for a second. Some of his black hair flopped down into his face as he lifted his head to meet my gaze. His eyes looked scared, but also unsure. He nodded, then quickly gestured weakly to the dog in my lap. “She’s the only company I’ve had since I got separated from my group. Its been a while. I don’t know where they are now.” He stated, his voice barren and small as he avoided my eyes to look up at the roof. “What’s her name?” I continued, trying to make my voice sound as comforting as I could muster to ease the stranger across from me. I didn’t want to ask him questions that might make him uncomfortable or scared, so I opted to talk about his dog to make him more relaxed. “Sun!” The man smiled gently, his head still leaned back against the wall. “She’s really smart.” He explained as he told us about his four-legged friend. Mingyu let him go on for a while before he interjected. “What’s your name?”

“Lee Seokmin.” The man answered right away, his eyes meeting mine for the second time. There were a few seconds of silence before a soft knock on the door snapped us all out of our trances. The dog didn’t react at all, seemingly in a deep sleep as the door opened and a smiling Chan walked in with Seungcheol and Joshua in tow.

“I’m sorry for causing so much trouble!” Seokmin burst out as he recognized Joshua, apologizing again until Joshua smiled gently down and mumbled a don’t worry as he looked over at Seungcheol. “This is Seokmin.” Mingyu stated, looking up at Seungcheol who was looking around the room, his face completely expressionless and eyes bouncing around the room restlessly. “And this is Sun.” The tall man continued, gesturing to the dog in my lap. Chan managed to slip between the two men standing in front of the bed and handed Seokmin a plate of spaghetti with a gentle smile, his head nodding in a sort of ‘youre welcome’ gesture as the dirtied and exhausted man thanked him quietly. “Have you ever killed a human?” Seungcheols scarily deep voice suddenly said, his tone serious and dark. The dog resting on my thighs quirked up in surprise and looked up at me. I slightly moved my legs, and she in turn jumped gently down onto the carpeted floor and shook her huge body softly, the flimsy collar rustling along with her movements. I heard Seokmin gently answer with a ‘yes’ as I motioned for Chan to follow me outside, knowing I wasn’t interested in hearing the conversation that would be ensuing the questions Seungcheol was about to ask the newly arrived man. I picked up the makeshift leash connected to Sun’s collar and lead her outside to the stairs and sat down on the wooden porch.

The sun had started setting and the sky was slowly being overcome with a deep blue, microscopic spots of white appearing over the mountains in the east. Sun sat beside me, her rapid breathing along with the sound of the wind rustling the treetops and the birds singing their last songs of the day masking the sound of Chan closing the door to the room filled with the talking men.

“Hi Sun.” Chen whispered as he stretched his legs out in front of him, the sound of small stones and pebbles digging into the dirt beneath his feet accompanying the sound of the dog laying down onto the wooden surface, her slightly overgrown nails scratching the worn out wood. There where a few beats of silence before any of us spoke again. “Those raiders are the worst thing to happen since this entire apocalypse thing started.” Chan spoke softly, his hand resting on Sun’s back, petting her gently as she let out a sigh almost sounding like she agreed to the statement. I hummed, leaning back on my hands to look up at the sunset sky. The golden orange reaching over the mountaintops to say goodnight, creating a warm glow over the surroundings and making Chan’s face look almost like it was dripping in gold. “The only person I’ve ever killed was a raider.” He stated; his gaze fastened on the disappearing glimmer of the sun behind the rocky tops in the foggy horizon. I let my eyes wander over to him, he’s smiling down at the resting dog as if he didn’t just talk about taking another person’s life. I don’t answer him, half waiting for him to continue but also not really knowing how to respond to his confession. The boy coos gently at the dog as it sneezes slightly, shaking its head before lying back down with a yawn. “I blew up a car when I was on my last run with Joshua and Seungcheol. They got caught off guard by a gang of them when we were looking for antibiotics in a closed of pharmacy close by Incheon Airport. I blew up a car to save them, but I managed to get this at the same time.” He lightly states, a slight smile playing on his lips that contrasted heavily to the topic he was talking about. Chan moves his hand to pull down the right shoulder of his black sweater, revealing a pink scar across the outside of his shoulder. I look up at him questioningly, my hand moving up to touch the healed skin. He laughs slightly and nods.

The scar is about 4 and a half centimeters wide, probably about 10 centimeters in length. The skin is smooth and the wound looked to have been healed pretty well. His smooth and warm skin glide lightly under my fingertips as I let them run up and down the mark a couple times. He shivers and laughs quietly. “It tickles a little” He whispers as I pull my hand away with a chuckle. “You look badass.” I wink at him, putting my hand back behind me. He chuckles and move around to dig in his pockets, pulling his hand out after he found what he was looking for. “Here Sun, you hungry?” He gently muses as he unwraps a piece of folded paper, his voice high pitched and cute as he hands Sun some of the left-over meat from the spaghetti sauce. The dog happily ate what the boy handed her, her fluffy tail slapping excitedly against the wooden porch underneath her. The three of us sat for a while, the low chattering from inside the room behind us becoming louder. “You should go eat, y/n, don’t you have watch duty tomorrow morning?” Chan asks as he gives Sun the last piece of meat. I once again hum, hugging my knees up under my chin as a cold breeze blows past my exposed arms. “I’ll take her. You go eat.” The boy smiles as he gestures down to Sun who’s now licking Chan’s hand thankfully. I smile and get up, giving the dog one last pat on the head before I slowly make my way across the open space to enter the dining area.

a/n: sorry for any typos this isnt proofread at all lmao!!!! hope you enjoy it still! thank you for reading uwu 

#svt #Seventeen #seventeen imagine #seventeen au #kpop imagines #imagine #scenario #kpop scenario #kpop #joshua hong #choi seungcheol #jeon wonwoo #kim mingyu #lee chan #xu minghao #lee jihoon #wen junhui #lee seokmin #dk #scoups #the8 #woozi #dino #svt au #svt angst #seventeen angst #apocalypse au #drabble #kpop au #hoshi

[buoyantsaturn]

was just forcefully reminded that I dressed up as octavian for some school dress-up event (spirit week maybe?? possibly halloween??) in the 8th grade

#i just wore jeans and a tshirt and then was also wrapped up in a bed sheet #i carried around a plastic knife and a stuffed animal all day #no i do not have pictures and no i do not know what made me remember this but i promise it happened #mine

[the-stick-scribblers]

Tumby

The neighborhood is half suburbia, half forest, which is maybe why when he screams no one comes looking. 

One hand is occupied by a ring of keys trying to unlock the old car door; the other arm is full of wailing, wriggling four-year old. She hasn't yet noticed the beast on the other side of the street. Gabriel is frozen.

“Mona,” he croaks, eyes locked away from her on the danger. “Love. Shhhhhhh.”

“Tumby!” she wails

“We brought Tumby back to his family. In the woods, remember? The stream?” Gabe keeps his voice low, steady, soothing. The glossy crayon woman on the cover of his wife's favorite parenting book would be proud of his control, given the circumstances.

Mona wails louder.

“Hush,” he tries again, sharper, jiggling her more fiercely. “Shhhhh, sh-shhh,” The keys he fumbles awkwardly in his hand, cold metal biting into his paper cut from church craft time this morning, clanking against his wedding band. He winces at the sound. Mona grabs his ear and tries to kick her way to freedom. He squeezes her tighter but doesn't dare drop the keys. “Mona baby, I'm sorry. I know you miss Tumby. But I need you to be quiet right now. Papa's trying to think.”

There. The keys settle in his hand, jutting out from between his knuckles. Their car is a classic, gorgeous steel low rider from the sixties that's also prone to deciding not to move any part of it at unpredictable times. Today it has decided to jam it's doors. Getting in and driving into the beast heroically is, unfortunately, off the table.

Equally unfortunately, he left his cell phone inside. He can picture it exactly, nestled lopsided in the mesh of the yellow polka-dot lunch bag Maria bought him as a joke right after his promotion, before he left to take care of Mona; he uses it as an emergency kit. Normally he keeps it in the diaper bag. But the batteries needed replacing and medicines' expiration dates needed to be checked.  It's in the front hall buried under a jumble of hurriedly discarded hangers from their earlier walk to the park. Gabe dropped it right inside the front door while wrestling Mona into her shoes. Which are goners themselves now, at least a hundred feet away, right by the street and nearly on top of the beast's horribly dripping tail.

If he can get to the kit, he can call a ride.

The beast occupies the forest; the houses on this side of the road make up suburbia, linked by dead wooden hands all the way across the valley without a single break. The homeowners’ association takes appearances seriously. Normally, Gabe chafes at the caged simulation. Today it means he'll either need to bring Mona with him past the beast or set her down and leave her alone behind.

She sure wants to get down. Even without shoes her kicking feet are pounding his chest into a mosaic of tender bruises. Gabe's ear, the one Mona's tugging at with all the weight of her little body, is ringing and hot. Despite his dedication to the panic of the moment, he spares a few brain cells to miss the gentle way Mona was when she was three.

It's Tumby's fault, Mona's new voice. That damn lizard.

Maria and he agreed when Mona was born they would be the sort of parents who didn't freak over the small stuff. Who let their little girl get just as dirty as their boy and didn't fuss over things like lizards brought home in muddy pockets. Who kept more encyclopedia's on hand than pink or blue toys. Which is why, although Gabe thought the lizard's purple coloring was freaky and possibly poisonous from the start, he smiled at the kids indulgently and grabbed an empty butter box.

“Who's going to catch it bugs to eat?” he joked, holding out the lid so David could punch holes in the box lid with a screwdriver.

“Mona,” said David.

She nodded, her fists stuffed with brown grass and her chest puffed with the important gravity of being the chosen one during play time. Gabe held out the box so she could drop it into the bottom to make the lizard a bed. Then she dropped the lizard in, rather clumsily, on its head, which was the second sign something was weird. At work he'd always known lizards to be agile bastards.

Mona named it Tumby because it's stomach was a little light blue oval and was bottomless - the lizard liked to eat, and eat until all the bugs on their street disappeared for self-preservation. It outgrew the butter box in a day. It outgrew the shoe box in a week. By ten days, it was the size of a small yappy chihuahua and weighed twice as much. And it learned to climb. Mona forgot to bring it bugs that morning before her play date, and it scurried onto the kitchen counter and fell asleep in the bowl of the scale for most of the afternoon. Gabe found it with its nostrils poking over the edge of half-melted plastic like eyes and he nearly threw the knife in his hand out of fright. He told Maria that night it had to go.

“You're telling the kids,” she said, glasses tipped sideways on her face sensibly. It was such an extremely Maria moment, Gabe kissed her.

Mona thought the whole trip to the stream a great adventure, splashing about in her duck-print boots and tumbling about with David until both of their curls were littered with crunchy leaves. The trip back, she splashed less but chattered more, all about the adventures Tumby would have in the woods. It wasn't until Gabe was putting her to bed that night that the tantrum came as she realized Tumby's adventure was not a temporary one. She howled all night, and for a month straight anytime they took her outside.

Of course she's howling again now. Gabe starts to give in and set her down on habit to send her away to play before he looks up and remembers, right. The beast. Purple and probably a people eater. Most of its body is hidden in the shadows of the trees, so whether or not it can fly is still to be determined. It definitely has at least one horn; short for its size but still at least as big as Gabe's forearm. 

“Mona,” he says, giving in to gravity and setting her on the ground. He keeps his hands looped over her shoulders, so she won't turn around and startle. She sniffles, but quiets. “Papa needs you to listen very, very carefully. Can you do that?”

Her lower lip trembles and there are watery beads stuck in the baby hairs around her face. She's looking everywhere except at him. Still, eventually she sniffles, wipes her little hand across her eyes, and nods.

“Thank you, Mona. Papa forgot his phone and needs to go back inside. But there's a...” How much to say, how to say it without setting her off again? “There's a snake on the path and it's camouflaged, so I am going to carry you so you don't accidentally step on it. Understand?”

“There's a...snake?”

“Yes.”

“What color?”

Gabe smooths her flyaway hair and plants a kiss at her temple. “Brown. It blends in with the sidewalk.”

She clings to him so he can't pull away from her. “I wanna see.”

Kids. Was David this circular when he was Mona's age? Gabe can't remember, and it's only been three years. The eternal enemy of parents everywhere, time. “I'll point it out as we walk past, if it's still there.”

“Okay,” says Mona. And just like that she's calm again, nearly her pre-lizard self.

Gabe hoists her up again so she's tucked neatly against his shoulder and as sturdy as he can manage with one arm. He peeks his head out around the edge of the garage, gauging the distance. The dragon's body doesn't move. Its green eye - the same size as their Mercedes's hubcap - is closed, although thin smoke trails from its nostrils. Shudders threaten Gabe's grip. He blinks, long and slow, makes his panic a game for Mona and counts with her to ten. They take one step out, and then -

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the neighbor's front door open.

Bernadette is the sort of woman Gabe and his friends would have called a wicked witch and meant something mean by it, when they were children. She wears frayed, mismatched skirts, sending patchouli thick thorough the air with every step; she has flyaway hair, has the best garden on the block, and is older than everyone else in nearly the whole damn city, too. Her eyesight left her about the same time as her late husband, fifteen or so years ago. Her hearing lingers on halfway. Mona is still against his shoulder, but Gabe feels his heart rate pick up again.

“Bernadette,” he calls, loud as he dares. She doesn't look up. She doesn't look across the street, either.

There's a pebble near his shoe from the gravel driveway, dragged in by some forgotten romp. He nudges it sideways until he can lean down without dropping Mona, then tosses it at Bernadette's porch. It misses and clangs against the drain pipe on the other side.

“David, what sort of trouble are you up to today?” She's turned away the wrong direction, but her voice is the strongest part of her, and it carries. Too many years as an actress followed by too few years with anyone interesting to talk to but boisterous kids. 

Gabe finds another pebble, dances it to his side, throws it. This time it hits her wooden stairs. He calls again, “Bernadette!”

“I moved the keys to the garage, David, you won't be able to find them before I find you,” she says to the wrong house beside her.

“David's in school, Bernadette. It's Gabe and Mona.”

“Bullshit. David is far too naughty not to be suspended.”

“Bernadette, I'm sorry but now is really not the time. There's a -”

“No time for me, huh? He gets it from his father.”

Gabe sucks in a deep whistling breath through his front teeth. “Mona and I are stuck out here in the garage. I don't have my phone. Can you call - no!” She has finally turned around the right way and is starting down her steps. ”Don't come out further, it's dangerous -”

“It's only mud.”

“There's a -” Well, that is the question isn't it. “There's an animal.” You think. You guess. “Across the road. It's been watching us, but we can't get in the car and we can't get inside. Bernadette I need you to call someone.”

“You want me to call the police?” Bernadette doesn't trust the police, and says it again loud as she can every time Maria's brother comes to visit to rub it in. If he needed Bernadette to call the police, he wouldn't even bother to ask.

But animal control won't have anything for this beast, either. “Try the fire department. Tell them, uh -” Gabe eyes the trees across the road, the way the beast's head blends flat against the treetops. “Tell them they'll need extra ladders.”

“What kinda animal are they after, anyway?” Bernadette grumbles. “A monkey?”

Mona wriggles warningly, and yells, “Snake!”

Gabe bites down on the inside of his cheek. “Just call them,” he whispers towards Bernadette like he's on a stage.

“Suit yourself,” Bernadette says to the nearby flower box, and goes back inside. The screen door bangs shut behind her.

Gabe and Mona both jump. She nestles deeper into his shoulder, resuming her kicking with half-hearted attention. Behind the car in the corner of the garage is a tidy, tiny workstation with a short stool the kids like to swivel around on while he works on the car's problem of the week. It's cozy, and good for getting energy out, and most importantly out of sight. The beast - dragon, probably, although thinking its name feels akin to blasphemy, surreal and scary and brave all at once - flicks its tail and takes out two young trees. Gabe sinks back into the garage and sets Mona firmly on the stool. She looks at him with narrowed eyes, confused.

“Papa is going to go watch out for the snake. It's poisonous, and Miss Bernadette is calling for help. I want you to sit here and be safe until I come back, okay?”

Mona considers this. She stands on the stool and uses her leverage on Gabe's shoulders to see past him to the front yard; whatever she sees, she's sits back down again with a satisfying thump, and nods. The creak of the stool spinning around and around follows Gabe back to the entrance. It keeps him grounded. He has to stand at the furthest edge of the garage, away from and out of Mona's sight, to see the road and wave down the help. It's probably an unnecessary gesture. Anyone with functioning eyes should be able to see what the call was about. But Gabe still doesn't quite believe his own. He tries to blink one eye at a time because if he closes both eyes at once, he'll open them to find the dragon is gone, and spend the rest of his life looking over his shoulder. 

Bernadette's screen door slams open again against the peeling slats. When she steps back out, she hasn't got her phone. Instead, she's toting a rifle tall as she is, and holding it like she means business. She leans it tottering on the steps' railing and turns the long way around to face Gabe. “What did she say this animal is? Snake?”

“Did you call the fire department?” Gabe is going to have to schedule his annual doctor's appointment sooner rather than later. There's got to be some sort of lasting damage from adrenaline this high, this long. “Bernadette, please tell me you called.”

“What's those firemen going to do about a snake? You may never have done a day in the country in your life, but used to we took care of these things with a shovel.” She's reached the bottom of the steps, shaking the railing so the gun tips down after her. Across the road the dragon's unblinking eye rotates sideways until it's laser focused on Bernadette. The smoke coming from its nostrils is flecked with blue and purple embers. Where each one brushes against a leaf, a tree branch catches fire.

Gabe is halfway across the yard in pursuit of Bernadette before he stops. Arms too empty, shoulders too light. Mona. He turns around and runs back to the garage.

It's silent, and dim. He reaches the stool - no Mona. He looks under the car, and then panics, because the garage is too small and there's nowhere else to hide. He should know better, it's parenting 101, never leave your child unattended or they could get hurt. They could die. (“All those sharp tools!” chides his mother in his brain. “All those sharp talons!”)

Back to the yard, squinting against the sudden glare of day and patchwork fires. Looking at the shadows of the grass, the steps, the road, looking for a splash of purple color. There - Mona, waddling alongside Bernadette, leading her in a mostly straight path towards the dragon with her mouth spread wide, baring every crooked baby tooth. A look of pure glee on her face.

Gabe blacks out. He comes to with Mona cradled tight and kicking in his arms, Bernadette behind him ignoring every tenant of gun safety and trying to use the gun to force her way around. Gabe looks up. The dragon looks down. They're both standing nose to nose, breathing in the glowing smoke.

“Mona,” Gabe hisses. “Bernadette. Don't. Move.”

Something about his tone makes them both pause for the first time all day, or maybe the smoke has made him sound harsher than he intends. They both look up, following his gaze.

And let out twin gasps as they both finally see the dragon up close. Not entirely, because it was too large and too camouflaged even from the other side of the street, but in uncanny detail - eyes slitted like a cat's, scales the size of roofing tiles and so black they look purple in the light of the fires. Fine white streams of smoke are permanently etched around the dragon's jaw like whiskers. Well, at least Gabe can cross hallucinations off his list of symptoms he'll be bringing to the doctor if he survives this day.

Bang! A gunshot rings out, flat and startling. Mona screams. Then she bites down on Gabe's arm so hard she draws blood. Gabe's blood mingles with something dark and sticky, the same color of the dragon's scales - the dragon's blood? - and he has to press his hand up in his shirt to stop the flow. And he has to drop Mona. She immediately takes off.

“Mona!” he yells after her.

She runs towards the beast, arms outstretched, ignoring Gabe, still screaming.

“Tumby!”

#amwriting #creative writing #short story #danzer writes #i said i was gonna get this out and i said what i meant #moving made it later than ideal #but there will be three fresh stories on the blog this week which is kind of a treat when you think about it

[silverfootstepswrites]

Butterfly [19]

summary The Mayfair of my heart.

The asphalt seemed to ripple. Waves of heat rose from the surface of the road, making the horizon shimmer. 

And in the midst of this punishing heat, Asuma used the front of his shirt to mop sweat off his forehead. He put his hand on his hip as he looked over his shoulder. Just in time to see Mirai running after him. Her ponytail sticking up like a little palm tree.

“Mirai, I told you. It’s real hot today. Stay home with Mama and I’ll just do the grocery shopping on my own,” he told her. 

“No!” Mirai exclaimed. 

Sighing, Asuma held his hand out. And waited for his daughter to grab hold of it. She swung it wildly as he guided her down the road. He pulled her to the side as a car honked at them a few times. When he turned, Sakura was hanging out of the driver’s side window. 

“Need a lift?” she offered. 

Asuma let out a deep sigh as he settled into the passenger-side seat. Mirai put both her hands on the window pane as she stared around. 

“Where to?” asked Sakura.

“Supermarket. Thanks, Haruno-kun,” replied Asuma. He fanned himself with one hand as the car moved forward. Only when he had settled in a bit did he glance over at her.

“Something special going on today? It’s rare to see you driving,” he commented. 

Sakura flashed a smile. “I had to run a couple errands,” she replied, shrugging one shoulder. And then she glanced at Mirai in the rearview mirror. The little girl wiggled her fingers at her. Sakura winked at her. 

She dropped them off in front of the supermarket. Mirai hopped out of the back, into Asuma’s waiting arms. He turned around. 

“What do we say to Sakura-sensei?” he prompted. Mirai waved both arms with furious speed.

“Bye-bye, Sensei!” the girl exclaimed. 

Sakura waved. “Bye, Mirai-chan. Have fun shopping with Papa,” answered Sakura. And once Asuma and Mirai headed into the building, she drove off, back towards her house. She scoured the streets for someone useful on her way. Ideally, Naruto or Minato would be the best candidates. Shikamaru wouldn’t be a bad option either, but there was a chance that he would complain the whole time.

When she pulled into her driveway, Kiba was sitting on her front steps, in the shade of the door. Akamaru sat panting beside him. 

“Good timing, Inuzuka. Help me out,” she called as she opened up the trunk. 

Kiba and Akamaru made their way over to her. And then Kiba stood gaping at the piles of boxes and envelopes stacked in the trunk. 

“What the hell is this?” exclaimed Kiba. And Akamaru let out a single yap, as if agreeing. 

Sakura lifted a plastic tray filled with envelopes. “It’s hot outside. I’ll tell you after we move all these,” she sighed. 

Kiba glared at the huge load for another moment. Then, he pulled his phone out of his back pocket. Sakura emerged from the house and paused in the doorway, staring. Kiba kicked at a stray pebble near his foot as he waited.

"Ah, good morning, Ba-chan. Is he awake? ...Ah. Well, Haruno needs some help carrying- Ok. Thanks."

He ended the call. And then Kiba waited, fist on his hip. Tapping his foot, making his sandal smack against the road.

After a minute, the front door of the house two doors down slammed open and shut. Shikamaru shuffled out onto the road, hands jammed in his pockets. Eyes barely opened. He slouched his way over, a yawn ripping his mouth wide open.

"You take this half. I'll take this half. We can do it in one trip," Kiba directed, pointing to some of the pile. Together, they gathered everything into their arms and managed to lug it into the house. Kiba dropped his box in the hall, sending a small cloud of dust puffing up. Shikamaru set his down a little less carelessly. He did nearly trip over Akamaru when the white dog darted between his legs.

Sakura headed outside to close her trunk and lock her car. And when she entered her home, she found Shikamaru sitting on top of his box, looking like he'd just run a marathon. Kiba was already in the kitchen, helping himself to a beer. They could hear him pop the tab, followed by the hiss of carbon dioxide escaping the can.

"Oi. Get me one, Inuzuka," Shikamaru called.

"Get your own," Kiba yelled back.

Shikamaru heaved a sigh, rubbing the back of his neck. He wore a faded green t-shirt. Sakura guessed that he had probably rolled straight out of bed, still in his pajamas. He grumbled to himself as he got to his feet. Sakura put her hands on his shoulders, cheerfully steering him into the kitchen.

Kiba sat at the table. He gulped down his beer like he'd never drank anything in his life before.

"Did someone ship you dark matter, Haruno? What the hell is in those boxes?" demanded Kiba as she turned and walked back to the hall. She pushed one of the boxes into the kitchen. And backtracked a last time to push the second box in too. The clear plastic tray filled with envelopes was already sitting on the kitchen table.

"Haku texted me a few days ago. The post office in Sendai was complaining that my P.O box was overflowing. So I had them forward all my stuff down to Konoha. I didn't realize just how much there was, though," Sakura explained. She slapped the top of one of the boxes to emphasize her point. She pulled a knife from the kitchen drawer to cut a long slit in the tape on top.

Sakura plopped down on the floor as she began pulling things out of the first box. Akamaru walked over to sniff at each item, like he was carrying out his own inspection.

There were stuffed animals. A majority of them were Shiba Inus. Because she had offhandedly mentioned once that she thought Shibas were cute. She had received everything from hoodies to body pillows. There were also plenty of gifts shaped like cherry blossoms. Hair pins, keychains, even coin purses.

Next were the drawings. Crayon scribbles from children and intricate watercolors that noticed the little freckle on her left wrist. There were endless letters, too. From people all over the country and even some from outside the country. Foreign fans attempted to write in hiragana, their symbols wonky and shaky. People in America begged her to come back to Michigan. Some invited her to go to prom with them, which always made her laugh.

Her favorite gifts, though, were always the letters or photos from fans who told her that she had inspired them to start skating themselves.

I'm not really good, but some day I want to be as good as you.

You made me believe that I could do my best.

At one point, Shikamaru had sat down on the floor too. After rubbing Akamaru between the ears, he began glancing through the presents. Skimming through some of the letters.

In the second box Sakura opened, there was more of the same. But this one was apparently filled with more recent gifts. Because most of the messages expressed disappointment or sadness that she had retired. Some of them were quite angry. A few bordering on threatening. But it was nothing she wasn't already used to.

"Wow. That's so many Ferrero Rocher. Can I have these?" asked Shikamaru, holding up a plastic case stuffed with the chocolates. Sakura didn't look up from the letter she was reading.

"Oh no. Don't eat those," she told him.

"Why not?" Kiba questioned. Akamaru padded over to sniff at the chocolates. Kiba pushed him away with his foot, muttering, "You'll die, you idiot. Get away from those."

"I had a friend who ate something sent to him, and it was filled with a fan's hair. Better not risk it," Sakura elaborated. And before she had finished speaking, Shikamaru had set the chocolates down.

It took Sakura a couple hours to sort through everything. And even longer to try to arrange them nicely. Normally, Haku would have taken care of this part. He had magic hands. When he nudged things around, the photo just looked so much better. Just as she considered Facetiming Haku to get his input, Kiba's stomach let out a pitiful growl.

They walked a short way to a small restaurant near the elementary school. It was the only place in town that served grilled unagi, slathered in a sweet and salty glaze. The restaurant was busy, but they managed to squeeze in at the bar. They ordered a bowl for Akamaru too, who gobbled down his portion with gusto.

"I don't get why this is such a big deal, Haruno. It's just Instagram," Kiba said.

"Look, it's just that I haven't posted in a while. And I don't want the first thing I post to be ugly," Sakura defended herself.

"Do you even have an Instagram, Inuzuka?" interrupted Shikamaru.

"I do! And, for your information, the great Haruno-senshu even followed me back," Kiba sniffed.

"I'm not following for you. I'm following because you post such cute pictures of Akamaru," retorted Sakura. At the sound of his name, Akamaru lifted his head. He licked his chops, ears pricking up. Sakura reached down to scratch under his chin.

"Anyway, I have to figure out how to post some kind of nice 'thank you' message. I really didn't expect people to keep sending me stuff after I quit like that," Sakura confessed.

"Just post a damn picture and be all 'hashtag blessed' or whatever," groaned Kiba.

"You're an uncultured swine. You wouldn't get it," sighed Sakura.

The bell above the door jingled as new customers entered.

"One unaju, please," a man called as he settled in at the bar beside them.

Sakura and Shikamaru recognized the voice. They leaned back, staring around Kiba's back. And they found Itachi settling in beside Kiba. He put his elbows up on the bar.

"Ah!" Sakura said. At the same time, Shikamaru called out,"Yo. Uchiha-sensei."

Itachi looked up. His hair was tied up in a ponytail. He pushed his tortoiseshell glasses up the bridge of his nose before he dipped his head a little.

"Oh. This guy is our town's vet, Inuzuka Kiba," Shikamaru then said, pointing at Kiba. Kiba nodded.

Sakura's eyes lit up.

"Wait. Uchiha-sensei. I know this is a stretch. But is there any chance that you're any good with photographs?" inquired Sakura, leaning over Kiba. Ignoring the way he complained about being used as furniture.

Itachi blinked a few times. He pulled a pair of chopsticks out of the cup on the counter. He snapped them apart with precision.

"I'm no expert. But I did study a little when I was in art school," he replied.

Sakura smiled. "Then I need to ask you for a favor today."

To her surprise, he smiled back. "I suppose that'll make us even, then," he answered.

They waited around for Itachi to finish his lunch. And then they all headed back to Sakura's place together. Akamaru, curious about the new addition to the group, spent a lot of time sniffing at Itachi's legs and feet as they walked.

"So, you used to live in Tokyo?" asked Kiba as they headed into the house. Akamaru nudged at Sakura's leg, whining a little.

"I'll get you some water, buddy. Don't worry," Sakura said. The dog trailed her into the kitchen while the men took off their shoes.

"Yes. I'm a city boy. Born and raised," replied Itachi. Almost laughing at himself. Because in a little country town like this, the term 'city boy' was almost used as a criticism. But Kiba shrugged as he shut the door behind them.

"Whatever. You can't help where your parents raised you," Kiba answered. They headed toward the kitchen. "But you must be bored. There isn't much to do out here compared to Tokyo."

"I'm from here and I'm bored," Sakura yelled in response.

"Well I wasn't talking to you, Haruno-senshu," retorted Kiba.

Itachi stopped in the doorway to the kitchen. He eyed the stacks of Shiba Inu plushes and handwritten letters. The drawings of Sakura were gathered in one corner, while misspelled signs with her name sat in the other.

"Yeah... so... is there a way to get these all into one shot. And not just make it look like a mountain of... stuff?" asked Sakura.

Itachi crossed his arm over his chest. He tilted his head to one side. And then the other. He touched his thumb to his lower lip.

He held his hand out. It took Sakura a moment to realize that he was asking for her phone. She unlocked it before handing it over. Itachi held it in his right hand. Used his left to grab one of the wooden chairs at the table. He set it down by the piles. Stood on top of the chair, craning his neck to see her screen. He tilted her phone this way and that before he clucked his tongue.

Climbing off the chair, he knelt to push some of the items around. He fanned the letters out. Moved some of the Shiba Inu dolls around. Then, he seemed to change his mind. He moved the dolls up. Took one of the signs with her name on it and placed it in the middle. When he got back up on the chair, Itachi snapped several pictures in a row. But when he stepped off the chair again, he didn't hand the phone over. Instead, he stared at Sakura. She stared right back.

Itachi handed the phone to Kiba. And then, putting his hands on Sakura's shoulders, he guided her to sit on the floor. Taking the pile of Shiba Inu plushes, he piled them into her lap instead. He reclaimed the phone as he climbed back up on the chair.

On reflex, with a camera on her, Sakura smiled, showing her teeth. He took a few pictures with and without flash. This time, when he hopped off the chair, he knelt beside her to show her the pictures.

Hands pressing to her cheeks, Sakura sighed.

"You're a blessing, Uchiha-sensei," she breathed. Reclaiming her phone, she uploaded the best photo to Instagram. Complete with the appropriate captions.

Thank you to all my wonderful fans. Your letters of encouragement give me the strength to tackle this new, slightly scary, but exciting phase of my life. Although my career as a competitive figure skater is over, you will all be in my heart.

The likes and comments begin popping up about a minute after she posted the picture.

Shikamaru glanced at her screen over her shoulder. He let out a low whistle as the notifications popped up again and again.

"Haruno, you should pay Uchiha-sensei for this," he joked. The notifications flooded her feed.

"This is nothing," Itachi replied.

"Yeah. Besides, friends don't ask friends for payment for favors, Nara," Sakura agreed with a pointed look. Shikamaru took a step away, suddenly avoiding her gaze. Like he had forgotten all about always asking for beer any time he helped her.

Kiba, who had gone quiet for a minute, looked up from his phone.

"Yo. The Sarutobis say they're doing rei-shabu for dinner tonight. Anyone wanna go?" he asked.

At this, Sakura's mouth twisted into a leer.

"The Sarutobis? Who's that? Why don't you just call her what you called her in high school, Inuzuka?" Sakura teased. Kiba scowled at her.

"Don't," he warned.

"Oh, Kurenai-san! My Kurenai-san!" Sakura cried, hand flying to her forehead. She pretended to collapse against Shikamaru, who caught her, lips pursed to hold in his own laugh.

"Seriously. Quit it, Haruno," growled Kiba. His eyes darted from Itachi, back to her.

"Come on, Inuzuka. It's a little funny. Every time, you saw her in the hallway at school, it was like 'Good morning, Inuzuka-kun'," Shikamaru chimed in. And Sakura bowed, body bending at a 90-degree angle as she bellowed, "GOOD MORNING, SENSEI!"

She and Shikamaru dissolved into cackles.

"You assholes. Making fun of a boy's pure first love," Kiba muttered. His cheeks turning pink.

"Aw, don't be like that, Inuzuka. I just think it was cute," Sakura said. Patting him on the arm between snorts of laughter.

Still frowning, Kiba turned to look Itachi in the eyes. "Seriously. Don't be friends with these two. They're bullies," he warned Itachi.

"It's too late for that. You should come to dinner too, Uchiha-sensei. I mean, unless you're busy," Sakura interrupted Kiba. And as she looked into Itachi's face, she saw that he was smiling a little.

"I don't want to intrude..." he hedged.

For some reason, she recognized that expression. That hesitation.

And she wasn't quite sure why.

"You know, pretty much the only way to make friends in a small town like this is to intrude. Come with us," Sakura urged.

She watched Itachi's face. The way he looked up as he thought. When he met her gaze again, he nodded a little.

"If you promise to take it a little easy on Inuzuka-san," Itachi conceded.

There was a moment of absolute silence. Before they realized that he was joking. And Sakura and Shikamaru burst into fresh laughter.

"Thank you, man! I like this guy!" Kiba exclaimed, shaking Itachi's shoulder a little.

#writing #itasaku #butterfly #i really want to call kiba sakura and shikamaru 3-baka #they're so dumb but i love them #not so satisfied with this chapter but that'll do pig

[kasumi-chou]

Pets 

Yuuri glanced towards the doorway confused.

“Was that… Vicchan?” Yuri asked from beside him, glancing up with a look that echoed his own confusion.

It was a Saturday, which was sleep in day. His classes didn’t start till midday and Victor’s ice time didn’t start till three, leaving them with a morning to just hang with Yuri.

Like most Saturdays, Yuri had joined them in their bed, waking them up with a cannonball – though they seemed to have lucked out today because they both got away from the attack unscathed for once.

It was now a more reasonable time than their personalised weekend alarm and Victor had finally decided to take the plunge and go get breakfast started.

Only to hear what sounded like a squeal a little while after he left the bedroom.

“Stay here,” he mumbled to the boy while sliding from the bed. He gave Makkachin – who slept at the end of the bed most nights – a small pat on the head as he went in search of his fiancé.

It didn’t take long to find the legendary skater, especially when he was collapsed against the wall with a horrified look on his face, right outside the kitchen.

“Vitya?” he questioned.

“It’s a monster!” Victor declared in a small voice. He simply stared down at his fiancé for a moment before moving into the kitchen.

He blinked in surprise at the sight that greeted him. Potya perched on one of the barstools, grooming herself while overlooking the scene that had clearly horrified Victor.

A dead bird.

“Thank you, Potya,” he said softly, reaching over to pat the cat atop the head.

“YUURI!?” Victor gasped, throwing him a shocked look from the doorway where he had poked his head around.

“What? She brought us a present,” he said, shrugging his shoulders as he went to retrieve a plastic bag.

“A present? It’s a body! That monster brought us a body!” Victor told him, sounding almost panicked by the dead animal.

“It’s just a cat thing. To bring home a ‘thank you’ present to their owners,” he explained while scooping up the dead animal.

“Can you get a broom and start sweeping up the feathers? I don’t want Yurochka to see this if possible,” he said while carefully tying the bag.

“And you think I want to see it?” Victor whined. He rolled his eyes at his overdramatic fiancé while carrying the present Potya had brought home for them outside to the bin. Once he returned, he found Victor glaring at the cat with a neat pile of feathers at his feet.

“This is why I like dogs better,” Victor mumbled under his breath, causing him to roll his eyes in response.

Sometimes the rivalry between Victor and Potya was rather ridiculous.

“PAPA!”

He blinked in surprise as Yuri came running into the kitchen while he was in the middle of preparing them both lunch for the day.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, gently putting down the knife he had been using.

He paused at the sight that greeted him.

Yuri stood in front of him, tears running down his cheeks as he held up one of his toy lions up into the air. A toy lion that was in two parts.

“Makka, Makka killed Reo,” Yuri all but cried.

He let out a small sigh as he gently took the broken toy from the boy and looked over it.

The tear didn’t look too bad, though he might need to go get some more stuffing.

“It’s okay, Yurochka, papa can fix it,” he promised while setting the torn toy on the bench before bending down so he was at eye level with Yuri. He lifted a hand to wipe away the boy’s tears.

“It’s okay,” he promised. Yuri let out a few sniffles while rubbing at his eyes.

“I hate Makka!” Yuri suddenly declared loudly before bolting from the room.

He stood there a moment before letting out a dramatic sigh. He reached for his phone and sent Victor a picture of the torn lion.

‘Makkachin got to one of Yuri’s toys. Buy toy stuffing and white thread or a replacement.’

He got a reply less than a minute later that caused him to sigh.

‘Where does one buy toy stuffing?’

“Children are like pets, right?”

His head snapped up at the ridiculous question which had been asked by one of the younger ballerinas.

“Excuse me?” he questioned, tilting his head.

“I mean, you got to walk them and stuff, right?” the young woman, who would have barely been eighteen asked.

“Are you dumb?” Vera questioned from his side.

Vera had been casted as the other main lead in the ballet, meaning that they were finally working together. It had been rather exciting at first, until they had actually started to learn all the parts.

Vera was such a talented ballerina, he felt rather out of place beside her despite being cast as he counterpart.

“It’s a serious question,” the woman asked, crossing her arms across her chest all dramatic like.

“You are comparing a human being to an animal?” Vera question, glancing back towards him with a baffled look.

“It’s a child, not a human,” the woman said with a roll of her eyes.

“How is a child not a human?” a new voice questioned, causing the room to lapse into silence as everyone turned to see Madam Lilia standing there, an unimpressed look on her face.

“It’s not?” the woman replied, sounding hesitant.

“Katsuki,” Lilia called out, causing him to snap up straighter than before.

“Yes, madam,” he replied.

“You have a child,” Lilia said more than question.

“Yes, madam,” he confirmed.

“You also have pets,” Lilia continued.

“A dog and a cat, madam,” he confirmed.

“And are they the same?” Lilia questioned.

“No,” he said, shaking his head.

“And why is that?” Lilia said, eyes never straying from the young ballerina.

“Well, Yurochka is human, madam,” he said hesitantly.

“Exactly. A child is still a human. And Katsuki’s child can do an arabesque better than half of you. Get back to work,” the former prima-ballerina demanded, clapping her hands together. The room bounced into action, everyone hurrying around the room into their respective groups to stretch or practice a part.

He glanced towards Vera who was slowly shaking her head.

“What has the world come too?” she asked him.

And all he could do was shrug in reply.

“It’s a disaster.”

He rolled his eyes as he glanced towards Yuri who was staring at the ground.

“Yurochka! How could you!” Victor cried while hugging Makkachin to his chest, “Not my precious Makkachin.”

The dog in question stood still, tail wagging happily as Victor hugged it tightly.

He really should have noticed something was wrong the moment both Yuri and Makkachin went missing for multiple hours.

But it had been nice to actually plot around the house and get things done without a shadow or a child with a million question.

He had actually thought Victor had been entertaining the boy, until the man had come down from his study asking if he needed any help with dinner without a child or dog with him.

But now they were staring at the consequences.

Yuri had somehow gotten into the garage and ‘borrowed’ – something Yuri made quite clear – a number of tins of paint which were later used to paint Makkachin.

The once brown poodle was now a mixture of white, light blue and grey – which was rather impressive if he was honest.

He had already read the paint tins and concluded that ‘no, Makkachin was not dying’.

“Makkachin looks better like this anyway,” Yuri mumbled while kicking the ground.

“YOU GAVE HER STRIPS!” Victor cried out in dismay.

“Strips are cool,” Yuri retorted.

“What if I painted your Potya purple?” Victor asked, rather childishly in his opinion.

“I’d like to see you try,” he mumbled while moving to pick up the hose connected to the back of the house. He quietly turned on the tap before taking aim and sprayed the squabbling children and painted dog with water, quickly ending the argument.

“PAPA!?” Yuri shouted, spinning around to glare at him.

“YUURI!?” Victor gasped, hair dripping in front of his face, having successfully gotten the top of his head.

“We have to clean Makka,” he pointed out, taking aim at the trio again.

It barely took a second before Yuri was letting out a war cry and charging towards him as he squeezed the trigger again, shooting water forwards with a laugh.

None of them got away unscathed.

But Makkachin did return back to her normal colouring in the end.

Skater Next Door AU

AO3 Skater Next Door / Skater In Training

#yoi #yuri on ice #yuuri katsuki #victor nikiforov #yuri plisetsky #yurio plisetsky #victuuri #lilia baranovskaya #makkachin #potya #skater next door au

[thecoroutfitters]

Bushcraft survival tips are a very hot topic in the prepper community, especially considering that old saying about “the more skills one has, the less gear one needs.” This “omnia mea mecum porto” (a Latin proverb meaning “all that’s mine I carry with me”) mindset is a prepper’s greatest asset, and I really did not mean it to rhyme.

To begin with, one may ask what on Earth is bushcraft?

In layman’s terms, bushcraft is what kept our ancestors alive and kicking for tens of thousands of years, well before the invention of agriculture, cozy cities, and our modern-day conveniences. Bushcraft is the ancient art of survival in the wilderness, using only the (sometimes scarce) resources provided by “the great outdoors.”

Keep reading to get the essentials!

Bushcraft is basically a fancy Aussie word for wilderness survival and it combines the know-how with regard to DYI-ing basic tools with how to use animals and plants at your disposal for outdoor survival in a SHTF scenario.

  3 Second SEAL Test Will Tell You If You’ll Survive A SHTF Situation

  For true-blue preppers, learning bushcraft skills will increase your survival chances exponentially in a nasty environment/situation, via  increasing your ability to adapt to new challenges and unforeseen situations.

You Can’t Skips the Basics

The more self-sufficient and confident one is, the better. The quintessential bushcraft skills to master include hunting/trapping game, food foraging, shelter building, water gathering/purification, and fire making.

Basically, everything that revolves around food-water-shelter, the holy trinity of survival, is an essential skill to master for a survivalist.

Let’s make a basic list, so you could count them better!

When it comes to living off the land, as in food foraging, one must have in-depth knowledge of local flora, which is essential when it comes to efficiently harvesting edibles whilst at the same time avoiding toxic plants.

Camp cooking is also a must-learn skill for outdoor enthusiasts. And speaking of flora, remember that cattails are edible and easy to find in shallow waters along the shore. Read my article about cattails for further reference.

Trapping and hunting/stalking game is all about knowing how to build snares, how to use lures, how to fish (always remember to pack fishing gear in your survival kit), how to read animal signs while hiding your own (human) scent, making cordage, tying knots, cleaning/dressing/cooking game in the field, and the whole nine yards.

A solid survivalist must be able to gather and purify water by using an improvised water filter, and also know how to make a fire for boiling/purifying water, and so forth and so on.

Shelter building skills must include knowledge of how to make cordage, how to tie a good knot, how to harvest building materials (branches, fallen trees), how to use a knife for batoning, how to waterproof/make natural insulation for your shelter, etc.

Knowing how to start a fire in the wild using readily available materials is a must-learn art, including gathering tinder, collecting wood, building a fire pit, building a fire plough/a bow drill, or other device, and you should also know the different types of fires and their best uses in a particular situation.

If you’re just starting out in the fine art of bushcrafting, you should focus on basic survival skills, such as batoning wood, making simple tools, knot-tying techniques, basic fire starting, and building basic camp structures, including the tripod.

If you’ve already acquired basic bushcraft skills, you should concentrate on shelter building, foraging for food, building a fire without lighters/matches, basic trapping and making snares, and water purification.

For advanced bushcrafters (I am not sure that word really exists), you can engage in complex projects, such as land navigation (celestial navigation for example), making cordage and rope using plant fibers or animal tendons, tracking, and advanced structure building.

Now, let’s talk about some tips and tricks, because after all, that’s what today’s article is all about.

Tell Someone That You’re Leaving

To begin with, remember that communication is key. Before going out on a trip, tell someone about your plan, including where you’ll be going, for how long, and also share if you have a specific route set up (it would help with tracking you down in a SHTF scenario).

Don’t Lose Your Temper

Next, remember to keep your composure in any situation. Always remain calm, cool, and collected, think positive, and hope for the best while preparing for the worst. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but optimism goes a long way, even in a SHTF scenario. No matter how alone and scared you may feel, everything starts with your attitude in a survival situation.

If something doesn’t work as it should – let’s say starting a fire in the wilderness, for example – keep calm, don’t rush, and don’t panic. Just stop, relax, breathe in-out and try something else.

Proper Tools

Remember that at its most basic level, wilderness survival, aka bushcraft, is surviving out there in the woods with nothing more than an edged tool (say, a knife) and the clothes on your back.

Which takes us to the next tip: a blade (read survival knife) is one of the most important tools to have in a survival situation.

A light and sturdy blade is as important to the bushcrafter as the katana is for the samurai. And yes, I am  talking about a high-quality, full-tang blade, which may be used for a multitude of purposes, ranging from self-defense to digging a shelter.

Another must-have and highly versatile bushcraft tool is a hatchet or a tomahawk. Given its design, a hatchet is perfect for heavy-duty tasks such as chopping wood, splitting logs, hammering (posts or stakes), butchering large game, and so on and so forth. If two items are too much for your “money”, you can go for the ultimate bushcraft tool: the machete.

A machete can be described as the best of both worlds, being a hybrid of sorts between a hatchet and a knife. And yes, a high-quality solid machete can be used for digging, chopping wood, clearing bush, batoning, and more.

However, the best bushcraft tool is the one you have on your person, so don’t complicate things too much, alright?

Considering the fact that death from exposure is a regular occurrence when it comes to outdoor survival scenarios, you must always pack some type of shelter in your EDC survival kit (a poncho, a $1 tarp, etc.), together with a couple of large, contractor-sized garbage bags.

When filled with leaves, the garbage bags will make for awesome insulating pads on which you can sleep or sit.

Video first seen on KGB Survivalist.

You should  carry a good-quality fire starter with you at all times, tied and braided to your knife lanyard, and I am talking about waxed jute twine. Always remember to pack a couple of protein bars in your survival kit; they’re incredibly nutritious and lightweight. Also, they don’t spoil easily.

Learning basic body insulation methods may be a life saver in many survival scenarios. Think about stuffing leaves, newspaper, or dry grass under your clothes, so you’ll be retaining body heat in harsh weather conditions.

If you wrap plastic bags (remember those garbage bags?) around the leaves on a tree, the sun will evaporate the water from the inside of the leaves, which will then be forced to condensate on the inside of the plastic bag (read trapped inside).

The same trick can be used to extract water from plants.

Now that you know these survival tricks, would you make it on your own if stranded deep in the wild?

Now, it’s your turn. What are your favorite survival tips you’d like to share with us?

Feel free to comment below.

This article has been written by Chris Black for Survivopedia.

from Survivopedia Don't forget to visit the store and pick up some gear at The COR Outfitters. How prepared are you for emergencies? #SurvivalFirestarter #SurvivalBugOutBackpack #PrepperSurvivalPack #SHTFGear #SHTFBag

#SHTF #TEOTWAWKI #MARTIALLAW #BUGOUT #PREPPERBAG #USAF #USSOCOM #ARMY #NAVY #SurvivalFirestarter #Sur

[ezra-blue]

You’ve Got Something - 34

For @baronvonriktenstein‘s Messy!AU

34: Unfinished Business

Gojyo is ready to move on, but something is reaching in from Hakkai’s past to open some old wounds.

Word Count: ~4500

TRUST ARC - PART 5

34: Unfinished Business

Gojyo knew he would come. Banri hadn't left a number, and Gojyo had lost the number he'd had when Banri had dumped his last prepaid phone back when he'd up and vanished before. Banri had said, 'one week,' so Gojyo had counted the hours, and now waited behind the shop, shoulders propped against the bricks. He could see the street from both directions, but he didn't bother looking around. Instead, he smoked, letting cigarette butts pile up around the toes of his shoes, and waited, ears open but eyes cast down. Eventually, he heard footsteps approaching, then someone wearing ragged Converse sneakers stopped in front of him.

“Give a guy a light.” Gojyo lifted his face, as Banri extended a cigarette towards him, already smirking. Gojyo held up his lighter, flicked his thumb off the edge of the flint wheel, showing the spark but no flame.

“No fuel. Ain't got nothin' to give ya.” Gojyo pushed off the wall with his elbows and drew himself up to his full height, pretending to look relaxed as Banri took him in like he was a mannequin in a window.

“Damn shame.” Banri reached into his jacket, and Gojyo tried not to tense up, tried not to expect the knife, but instead, Banri revealed a gas-station plastic lighter. “I ain't got much, but I can share.”

“Nah, man.” Gojyo stuffed his hands in his pockets and shrugged, watching Banri slip the smoke into his mouth and take the first drag. He was waiting, waiting for Banri to make his move. He'd played poker a few times, and he knew not to play his hand too early. However, he also knew this was no time to pretend he was playing games. “Alright, what you got for me?”

“I think I ought'a be asking what you got for me.” Banri blew smoke through his nose and crossed his arms. “I'm hoping it's the goddamn garage key, since you're a smart kid. C'mon, Gojyo.” Banri slung an arm around his shoulder, and Gojyo stiffened, his shoulders and spine tensing like wound cord. “I won't even be around during the day. I can work nights, and you can keep up appearances during the day. You're actually pretty good at it, it'll be good cover.”

“Don't need it.” Gojyo pushed his arm off. “Ain't gonna be no cover.”

Banri's smile sunk a little, and if he'd had eyebrows, he'd be quirking one. “What, so, you back in for good?”

“No, I'm out.” Gojyo braced himself as he dropped the bomb. Banri stiffened for a second, then arched his back.

“What, you mean you're seriously gonna stand back and let me just do whatever I want with the photos? Come on, kid, you know I know everything and got everything.” He leaned in, daring, challenging Gojyo without a word, but Gojyo sucked his cheeks in and shook his head.

“I can handle it.” He tucked his hands in his pockets, and Banri began to pace furiously. Gojyo stood his ground, trying to be stone as Banri gesticulated wildly, throwing his hands around.

“You gotta be kidding me! You're seriously gonna make me do this?”

“Ain't makin' you do shit. I just ain't givin' you your way.” Gojyo didn't flinch when Banri whipped around on him, wagging a finger.

“I told you. The property manager's gonna see it. You rent this fucker, I know that, I signed the fucking contracts with you. You'll get tossed out on your ass and you ain't gonna have nowhere to operate out of.” Banri smirked, and Gojyo tightened his hands into fists in his pockets. “I could just sneak in and use the place once your ass is cleaned out.”

“Yeah, see, that's the thing. We got a contract. You got pulled off the contract for theft you had literally just committed.” Gojyo inhaled slowly, keeping his chest puffed out. “But, see, that was a good reason. Ancient history don't cut it, and that's all you got on me.” Gojyo could feel a little real confidence under his facade, even putting on a calm smile as Banri subtly recoiled. “'Sides, they'll remember you, that wasn't hardly a year ago. I'll give 'em a friendly call, tell 'em what you're pullin', and it won't matter.”

“Yeah? You fuckin' think so?” Banri's upper lip curled, and he paced again, like a predatory animal in a small cage. “And your brother?”

“Unlike some people I know, Jien actually cares about me. He might be disappointed, but fuck it, even if we fight about it, he's still gonna love me at the end of the day.” Gojyo drew his hands from his pockets and set them on his hips, keeping his heels grounded as if it could anchor his heart where it ached in his chest. Banri scoffed, then sucked air between his teeth.

“Cares about you. Loves you. You were always on about that 'love' shit when we were dumb kids. I thought you'd grow out of it after a couple good blowjobs with people you wouldn't have to deal with.” He huffed, then landed and spun back towards Gojyo. “And what about your Hakkai, anyway? You really think he'll be okay with this?” He was smirking again, but it didn't hit his eyes; the malice struck Gojyo to the core. “You know he's too good for ya anyway, this is more than enough of a fucking excuse to drop you. You really want him to find out?”

Gojyo took one more breath, and found the strength to advance. “Fuck you, I'll tell him myself.” Banri's expression twisted into repulsion, and Gojyo crossed his arms. “If he ain't okay with it, that's his decision, and I'll fucking live with it. See, I got somethin' you don't: a conscience. If I gotta pay for my old crimes now, then fine.” Banri was frozen, heaving for air, and Gojyo pounded his fist against his chest. “Besides all that, I got a purpose. I got something I wanna do, something to live for. I ain't gonna give any of that up for anything. Not you, not this.”

Banri shivered, and when he spoke again, it was soft enough that Gojyo was taken aback: “After all I done for you, kid. Everything we been through.”

Gojyo sucked his lips in, grimacing. “You did a lot to me and put me through more.” Banri's eyebrows knit up, and Gojyo didn't flinch as he went on: “You were only ever good to me when you could get something out of me. Hakkai's with me because he likes me, who I am now. Whatever you got don't mean shit.”

Banri's face twisted to anger again so fast Gojyo's head spun, and he lunged for Gojyo, grabbing for his hair. Gojyo dodged just in time to let Banri hit the wall, and he pinned Banri in place by his wrists and trapped him there. Time froze, Gojyo's chest ached, and he could have sworn he heard footsteps running away from them. Banri glared at him, any pretense of friendship or care gone, and Gojyo squeezed his arms. “We're done here. Do what you're gonna do and fuck off.” He let go of Banri and jumped back. Banri's face twitched as if he couldn't pick an expression, but the darkness in his hooded eyes shouted rage and hatred. Gojyo wondered how long Banri had hated him. Banri picked himself up and went to trudge away, and Gojyo decided on one parting shot: “And stay the fuck away from my goddamned car!”

Banri spun back around, his voice cracking as he screamed, “Fuck you, I didn't touch your fucking ugly-ass, piece of shit car!” He whipped right back around and stormed off like a scorned lover, and Gojyo heaved a sigh as the tension ebbed out of him, and sank down to sit against the wall. He found a cigarette in his crumpled box and lit up. Half of him regretted not lighting up one last smoke for Banri, but fuck it, it was long since time he cut him off like a gangrenous limb.

Still, he'd committed to what he was going to do. He took his phone out and typed his message:

“Hey babe, we need to have a talk tonight, but I want to do it face to face.” He hesitated, then committed. “I'll see you tonight.”

He just had to ride out whatever Banri's actual revenge would be. Anxiety rose up in his stomach, but he forced it back out with a slow exhale of smoke.

“Now, we deal with the fall out.” He picked up the phone again and set about his next phone call...

Tuesdays seemed the longest to Hakkai. It was the day off he didn't share with Gojyo. There were no content mornings strolling through the grocery store or afternoons spent on long walks, on movies, on whatever they fancied. They could do anything together and Hakkai was happy not to be alone. He'd gotten too used to company, perhaps, but loneliness was made infinitesimally more tolerable with a pot of tea, a book, and Ryuu curled up on the sofa over his shoulder. He only remembered the ache that came with the quietude of his days alone when they stretched too long.

The listless depression that had plagued him often came back with those memories.

He'd gotten a few texts from Gojyo earlier. Vague texts, promising a talk. Hakkai had dearly wanted Gojyo to talk to him, had quietly pleaded for it, but now that it was coming, he could only feel anxiety. He'd tried to coax a more comprehensive explanation out of him, to no avail, because when he called, the line was busy, and Gojyo had clearly gotten back to work and couldn't respond to texts. That was the only way Hakkai could rationalize it, and it wasn't helping. Those horrid “what-ifs” that had driven him to despair and anger before rose up over him, and even with the reassurance that Gojyo might actually tell him what he'd been shying away from, he knew he was sinking into his old paranoia.

All he could do was pretend to focus on the novel in his hands and wait, anticipating Gojyo at the door.

The March shadows were stretching long and the skies were turning dark when finally, finally, there was a knock. Hakkai glanced up to the door, an eyebrow raised; Gojyo had learned to stop knocking. Perhaps whatever he had to say had him intimidated. Hakkai set his book aside, carried Ryuu to the bathroom and shut him in, then went and opened the door, ready to open his arms for embrace –

Only to find Nii standing on his step.

Hakkai shut the door, but Nii sighed loudly and spoke through it: "I come in peace, Hakkai! Open the door."

"I've asked you to leave me alone. You clearly have no intentions of respecting my wishes." The fire that burned in Hakkai's chest was starting to rage again, like a demon he just couldn't exorcise. He tried to will it back, but could only temper it enough to peek out at Nii again, watching for him to leave. He didn't.

“Hakkai, this is important. It's about that man you're seeing. I'm concerned for you, and I didn't know what else to do but to come here.” Hakkai watched through the peephole as Nii held up his arms in futility. “I'm acting in your best interest, as I ever have. You may have washed your hands of me, but I’m not finished with you.” Nii looked around and behind him, then leaned close, as if he knew Hakkai was watching him. “Listen. Has he been acting different lately? Strangely?” This gave Hakkai pause. Nii knocked on the door again. “I have something to show you.”

Hakkai slowly opened the door. Nii took his phone out of his coat pocket and held it towards Hakkai. “He's the man I see in town with the long red hair, isn't he? I happened to be passing by and spotted him talking to a shady character, and... Well.” He tried on a kind smile, but Hakkai could only see his usual cocky smirk as he shook the phone again. “A picture says a thousand words, hm?” He unlocked his phone and pulled up the image gallery.

Nii gave no further explanation, but let Hakkai scroll through the images. Gojyo and Banri, against the white brick on the outside of Gojyo's garage, practically nose-to-nose. Gojyo pinning Banri to the wall by his wrists. Hakkai dropped the phone, his stomach turning. Nii had stopped smiling. “I don't know who that blond guy is, but whatever's between them, it looked pretty intense.” Nii shook his head, seemingly pretending not to watch as Hakkai staggered a few steps back, mind reeling.

“He... he couldn't...” There were two things that came to mind: first, that Banri had lured Gojyo back into whatever he and Gojyo had been doing before Gojyo opened his garage. “What could he possibly...” Second, that Gojyo, his easygoing, devoted, kind Gojyo, had decided that whatever Banri had to offer him was better than the feeble affection Hakkai offered. It all seemed so unfeasible – Gojyo had never complained of him, and he enjoyed his work, why would he suddenly go back to Banri for any reason? – but the evidence, from Gojyo’s strange behavior to the images that now haunted his vision, was apparent. Anger warred with pain, and he couldn't react, unable to decide between rage and hurt. Nii nudged him the rest of the way into the house, scooped his phone off the ground, and closed the door behind them.

“Hey, hey now. Go on, sit down, you've gone all blue and tongue-tied.” Nii ushered Hakkai to his sofa and half-guided, half-forced him to sit. “I mean, maybe it's not what it looks like, hm?”

“I just don't know what else to think.” Hakkai shook his head and tried to push his hair from his eyes, as if he could uncloud his vision, but he just came back to the same thoughts, Gojyo lied to me, Gojyo's tricking me, and Nii clicked his tongue.

“It's not like you to jump to conclusions.” Nii crouched in front of him on the sofa, slouching like he always did. Hakkai couldn't even bring himself to scold him. “Is it that bad?”

“I don't know what to think.” Hakkai heaved a deep sigh, collapsing and doubling over under the weight of his confusion, and Nii clicked his tongue a few times and patted his back. “Nii, please.”

“Let me help you think this through.” He spoke a little softer, almost sounding sympathetic. “You've always been a little suspicious, even of me when we were together.”

“Nii.” Hakkai scrubbed his face with his palms, but Nii kept rubbing his back.

“Trust doesn't come naturally to you, it never has. Your heart's been a little broken since you were young, you know?” He paused and tipped his chin down to look Hakkai in the face. “Even Kanan couldn't hold you together forever, could she?”

Hakkai winced, because Nii was picking at raw wounds and he probably knew it. Even she had broken his heart once, hadn't she?

“I know, I know.” They were standing in the same room, Grandmother's old furniture still smelling of chamomile and camphor, the décor all of flowers and trailing roses. Kanan, in full bloom, amber-colored hair tumbling over her shoulders, soft and beautiful in his memory, held his hands tight. “And I love you too, more than life itself.”

He'd only ever loved Kanan, all of his life, he'd only ever cared about her. Mother was nothing but photographs and stories, and Hakkai could feel nothing about either. Father had pushed them away every chance he got, never listening to either of them, even spiteful towards them. He knew Father blamed them for Mother being gone, he knew Father drank because of them, he knew the accident was because of the drink, and that had made even Grandmother, Father's mother, distrustful of them. She took them in and fed them, of course, but Hakkai had never felt her love, only suspected her scorn under the sweep of her rheumy gaze, heard her gossiping to the neighbors in Cantonese. He could only guess what she whispered about them. Like curses, she surely said, and so perhaps they were, the pair of them. Something as black and evil as him, someone who could kill his own mother without even trying, he could only ever love his other half. Kanan, though, shook her head as he confessed it again:

“I mean it. I love you. Not just--”

“Hakkai.” She pressed her thin finger to his lips. “Please. I understand, and I know.” She shook her head but kept him shushed. “And though you have to believe I feel the very same, I know we can't act on it.”

His heart, a crystal held out in tremulous fingers, cracked under even that slight pressure.

“It's wrong.” Her face ducked away from his, and she pulled her hands back, fidgeting with her fingers in front of her and fixing her gaze to the ground. “We'd never be accepted, and I want to live in the sun. We have to try to be happy with other people.” She bit her lip. “We should... we should try to see others.” She spun around, facing him with a kind firmness in her expression, a smile backed by stone. “I'm going to San Francisco State University. I've been accepted, and you can't stop me.” She showed her teeth in her smile, as sharp as a knife, perhaps even without meaning to be. “I think it'll be good for us to be apart.”

Just like that, she ripped out half of him and discarded it...

“We had to be separated,” Hakkai whispered. “She was right, of course.” He'd never told Nii about that conversation, about his illicit desires, but he had always suspected that Nii had figured it out. He'd seen the two of them together. He couldn't stop himself from looking at her every time she came home to visit, because he still crumbled under every stray smile. Nii shook his head.

“But it hurt you. Don't rationalize that.” Nii sometimes sounded so much like Koumyou, but in this context, it was both sickening and intoxicating. “I think you were still in that pain when we met. Do you remember that day?” Nii chuckled hoarsely, a noise that had warped its way through a wringer. “Do you remember how hard you pushed back?”

“Mister Cho, is it?” Day one of his mandatory philosophy course, and though the content was presented well enough by the professor, Hakkai was much more interested in getting into material relevant to his major. 'Liberal learning,' such nonsense; as if he didn't know enough. The professor, however, had quirked a smile at him as he passed him on his way from the dim classroom to the hallway. “Don't I know you?”

Hakkai was used to the polite, sharp smiles that seemed welcoming enough but that worked as a ward against unwanted attention. “I'm on your roster and in your grade ledger, yes.”

“No, no, not like that.” Professor Ukoku chuckled, soft and low, waving the notion off with a flap of his hand. “You're a friend of my younger brother's, aren't you? Hakkai Cho. You're in pictures with little Kouryuu.”

This gave Hakkai pause. “Do you know Sanzo, then?”

“Up until I reclaimed my true birth name, I was a Sanzo. Ken'yuu Sanzo, specifically.” Ukoku's nostrils flared at saying the name. “But I preferred the name written on my birth certificate to that given me by the foster home. The surname my adoptive parents gave me means nothing. Ukoku Nii, but you can call me Nii.”

Hakkai briefly recalled Sanzo mentioning his older brother, Ken'yuu. He had said that they hadn't spoken in a long time, and though Sanzo had invited Hakkai over for study sessions or to watch movies and he'd shared meals and company with his fathers more than a few times, the mysterious older brother had never made an appearance. Sanzo had said nothing kind about him, and Hakkai still recalled that when Sanzo demanded he stop calling him "Kouryuu," it was because "I hate the way Ken'yuu says it." He sharpened the edges of his smile. "Sanzo has mentioned you."

"I'm sure he has, probably closely associated with the word 'bastard.'" Nii chuckled, looking almost pleased with the notion. What a prideful sort, Hakkai thought. Grandmother, weaned off of missionaries, would have said such was a sin. He generally gave her little regard, though. However, he also had little regard for this man.

"Unless you need something from me, Professor, I'll be on my way." Hakkai moved to circle past him, but Nii chuckled.

"Does it have to be 'something?' Really, I prefer the value of 'nothing.'" This gave Hakkai pause. Sanzo had said Ken'yuu was intelligent, but that sounded like nonsense. Nii held up the class syllabus. "I saw you reading this over and looking bored out of your skull."

No point in prevaricating, though he hadn't thought he'd been so obvious. "I won't lie, sir, I've read Descartes and Sartre out of curiosity, and I got nothing out of them." Hakkai shrugged. "I'm required to take this course, so I will--"

"I hate it, too." Nii smirked. "Don't pussyfoot around me, and knock it off with the 'sir' and 'Professor' bullshit, too. This is just what I'm required to teach in the level 100 course. Believe me, I'd prefer to be leading discussions about Nietzche. He's fun for debates, y'know?" Nii gestured, grinning wildly. "Anarchy, supremacy, apathy, pity, atheism -- really, I have fun forcing some of the more stick-in-the-mud students to actually debate their own beliefs and play their own devil's advocate. It makes one think! To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, we are our own worst enemy."

"We are all each our own devil," Hakkai recited. "Yes, I haven't read the play, but some derivative, trite novel about the Great War I forced myself through referenced the quote once or twice."

"You're well-read! I haven't read that book, but I saw a similarly trite stage play that referenced it."

"Ah." Hakkai hadn't realized it, but he'd cracked a smile. My, was it nice to have someone to talk to. "I've not read Nietzche. I admit, some of his associations with fascism put me off."

"It's a shame; Nietzche's work was influential in the German National Socialist movement, but that was never his intention." Nii glanced to the hall, where the next class was gathering and waiting. "Ah, but we've got no place in this universe." He thumbed over his shoulder at the loitering students, still smirking. "Well, they're not my students. Not my circus, not my monkeys. Why don't we go make our own place to be and continue this conversation?” He grinned, his gaze blatantly traveling Hakkai's face. “We can talk about nothing for a while, if you'd like. Maybe somewhere with coffee?"

Hakkai would never be able to explain why he answered the way he did: “I have nothing better to do.” And somehow, that was the first of many such after-class meeting spent sipping tea and talking.

Perhaps it was because it was true. He had nothing better to do, and nobody else to talk to.

“You had such high walls to scale.” Somehow, Nii had slid up onto the couch and his hand was on Hakkai's knee, and Hakkai hadn't shoved him off. “Perhaps you intimidated the poor boy.”

“Please.” Hakkai hated the soft crackle in his tones.

“I tried, y'know.” Nii slid the crescent of his forefinger and thumb up to Hakkai's thigh. “You have to give me credit for trying.” Hakkai halted Nii's hand, gripping his wrist tight.

“You did, but Gojyo--”

“Don't talk about him.” Nii twisted his arm from Hakkai's hold, just enough to free himself, but slid his palm up to Hakkai's back instead. “He hurt you.”

“So did you.” Hakkai slumped, dodging Nii’s touch and sinking into a slouch. “And I've stupidly let you.”

“Mm, I didn't hurt you. Not on purpose.” Nii tried to trace circles on Hakkai's back. “I never meant to. If I did, then you have to know I only did what I did because I thought it was best.”

“For you.”

Nii chuckled, and Hakkai felt his hand grow subtly heavier. “In ways. I wanted you all to myself. Is that so wrong?” He didn't let Hakkai answer, instead turning the pressure into a squeeze. “But it was for you, too. I wanted to take care of you, and I even understand why you couldn't trust me. I know why you avoided me, why you pushed me back.” Hakkai felt Nii's mouth at his ear, his lip just brushing at the lobe: “You know where you belong, and you thought you could avoid being drawn back to it.” Hakkai shivered, and Nii stroked his hair, his fingertips brushing his scalp. “You don't want to even look at me and risk it.” He took hold of Hakkai's chin and forced him to turn and face him. Hakkai felt a chill rattle his spine as Nii held his gaze, and tried to shake his head.

“Nii, I--”

“I've missed you,” Nii whispered. “I’m tired of watching from a distance as you pretend you’re happy. I want you to remember me. I want you to be mine again. Forget him; you know what you're going to get out of me.” He licked at the seam of Hakkai's lips, and Hakkai couldn't say anything in response. He was still remembering what he'd thought was an unremarkable meeting for coffee.

“It surprises me.” Nii spoke a little like he was laughing, steam condensing on his glasses lenses. He smirked as he slouched over his cup, and Hakkai glanced up from stirring sugar into his tea.

“Beg your pardon?”

“You.” Nii motioned between them. “This. Every time I invite you, you accept.”

“I haven't anything better to do.” Hakkai shrugged, lifting his cup to his lips for a sip. He didn't miss the way Nii watched his lips move. “I don't keep much by way of close company, and though I see Sanzo and his parents sometimes, our schedules don't match. I live alone, my only family is more than six hours away--” The very thought made the words catch in his throat, but he swiftly finished, “And you don't bore me to death.”

Nii laughed. “I can understand that. You don't bore me, either.” He leaned across the table. “You're different. Someone who's not just obsessed with being happy. You can actually hold my interest.”

“Hm.” Hakkai pulled a wry smile. “I never saw a point in pretending to be happy.”

“And yet, you accept my invitations when you clearly feel no need to, neither out of politeness nor obligation.”

“I enjoy your company.” Hakkai found himself leaning over the table towards him. Nii cocked an eyebrow, his smirk outright roguish, and Hakkai felt something different. A longing. A need. A desire to be as free as Nii, as happily unfettered, perhaps even an understanding.

"Perhaps I like you." Somehow, he was leaning in too, and Nii loomed large like a shadow over him.

Perhaps Hakkai wanted to be swallowed. Perhaps that was the closest he would ever come to being loved.

Maybe it was the pain. Maybe it was the familiarity. Maybe it was that memory of acceptance.

No matter what the reason, Hakkai found himself kissing Nii this time, and nothing was stopping him as he threw himself into familiar darkness.

#You've Got Something #my writing #fanfiction

[buddyfaith]

I just failed an online quiz for class so I’m gonna do a longwinded character assessment that brittany reblogged for mama debeste to cheer myself up. feel free to challenge me on anything tbh.

1) I sort of like the idea that mama debeste was also a foster kid, but like- she’s 8 or so years removed from her foster siblings? like I don’t think there’s anyone in her age group to hang out with. I think she’s closest to the youngest brother? he’s 7 years older than her or something and usually was the one who was sent to ~babysit~ but actually this little kid is sort of neat. Self-same brother isn’t dead but he’s not. there. I sort of like the idea of military deployment for him. they exchange letters when they can.

2&3) okay so I’m finally gonna make up a healthy marriage and it’s these people. the Fosters (lmao) are a very elderly couple who suffered heavily from Empty Nest Syndrome in like the 70s and have been taking kids in ever since. They are VERY OLD but very kind.

-mama foster is a short woman who likes to garden even though it sometimes fucks with her Arthritis. She’s very plainspoken and knows exactly what the internet is but has some trouble accessing it by herself. Her sense of humor is very deadpan, which doesn’t match her face at all but that makes it much better. mama debeste is a Good Kid who picks tomatoes and collects caterpillars in jars. mama foster has some trouble with younger kids because sarcasm is hard sometimes and her temper is a little short but she loves mama debeste. mama debeste’s favorite part of the usual day-to-day is watching wheel of fortune with her.

-dad foster is a guy who likes to hike. its getting hard for him but he can still go thanks to his kids. they go whenever they can and picnic. mama debeste sometimes gets a little ahead of him to put the collected caterpillars back into the wild. anyway dad foster has like an incredible appreciation for nature and I’m sorely tempted to make him a Bob Ross-esque landscape painter. he’s the kind of dad that gives you candy before dinner and winks. he connects easily to mama debeste because she’s young and likes to get dirty and messes up a picturesque scene just right enough for it to be painted.

when the kids grow up the Fosters have pretty much come to accept that they’ll lose contact with them. mama debeste was determined to not do that and visited regularly but then her own kid died. She went back to see the Fosters for help and they told her that it wasn’t right, not so soon, but losing children is as much a part of life as losing parents, and that she can still come back from it. Mama debeste told them she was leaving for Zheng Fa and they told her to be careful, to be safe, to be smart, and to be kind above all. They were smiling when they said it but there was an air of finality about it, because they knew they had lost her, too.

4) aside from her house burning down with her child inside??

I like to think that her and her brother went wandering around on streets and stuff together and saw some regular stuff yknow. stray animals helping each other, hurting each other, people doing about the same.

Once her brother punched a guy in the face on the subway for spitting at someone and that sort of justified retaliation always stuck with her.

5) mama debeste carries around a swiss army knife like a girl scout, a shitty plastic cigarette lighter, a keychain that was probably a gift that has her house keys on it, two or three pieces of nicotine gum, an instant camera, and her wallet (which in turn contains her driver’s license, Interpol id, library card, two credit cards in Blaise’s name, several pictures of the kiddos, and about $400 in nonconsecutive twenties)

6) mama debeste dreams of her kid. like. what they (he, I’m vaguely leaning towards) would be like growing up and stuff. she also dreams of Zheng Fa and the forest.

7) mama debeste killing people maybe unnecessarily is kind of my jam and they don’t haunt her per se but sometimes she trips over their bodies literally. sometimes she imagines shooting herself because what the hell, she’s a bad person. anyway mama debeste also hates funerals so probably those too and [fire noises].

Silence, notably, too. If you’ve got kids there should never be silence. if you’re anywhere natural there should never be perfect silence.

8) hi welcome to Interpol here’s a paper target except we didn’t tell you there was a watermelon behind the head so that the red explosion would disturb you into perhaps not firing sometimes.

(it failed.)

9) the Fosters are actually fairly well off despite having So Many Kids with expensive extracurriculars and stuff? because they had like, regular people expenditures, it was a little bit more of a natural life. Blaise’s blood money is far less wholesome which is one reason mama debeste goes to such great lengths to get rid of it fast and frivolously. She burns the money in an attempt to warm the home.

10) mama debeste is a sundress lady or a biker leather lady with no inbetween. The former is an expression of serenity and safety. I think the latter gives her more confidence, like the Interpol days.

11) she couldn’t get back into her fucking burning house. the second time she felt so scared was when she realized phoenix was in the second house doomed to fall.

(there were little bits, in the middle, where she lost phoenix in a crowd or sebastian swallowed something he shouldn’t have.)

12) lmao marrying blaise debeste actually. she’s shot people with less conviction, less assurance than she had standing on the altar.

on a calm of a different note, the forest is her friend and the first time she saw phoenix try to paint a tree was great.

13) HAHAHAHAHA next question. (idk if mama debeste: forensics expert is exactly canon but she’s definitely less sensitive to blood than she should be)

14) mama debeste will never forget a face as long as she lives.

15) mama debeste is concerned with the concept of Doing and will blow through all of blaise’s blood money so that her kids can like, have experiences and stuff, but her preoccupation is more spending and acquisition than frugality or anything.

16) let mama debeste be happy 2kwhatever. she knows she probably never will be so she tries to make others happy.

17) her brother made mama debeste a teddy bear out of felt and button eyes and pillow stuffing. he told her later it was because he was really attached to the one he was supposed to Hand Me Down to her but that’s only half-truth. Its name is Growls.

18) probably wisdom considering “ambition” burned her crops and poisoned the kid’s groundwater honestly? blaise seems like the kind to both hide behind and weaponize that word.

19) mama debeste doesn’t say anything. like she’s the ultimate in something is bothering her but she sticks to the gentle smile persona and lets wounds fester until its way too late. this trait is kicked up to eleven with blaise and the kids, which is part of the reason that phoenix has such a sunny memory of her.

20) I don’t think she does compare herself to anyone except for Greg and Desiree Delite. The former is for validation in her parenting style. the latter is when she’s really loathing herself and thinking about what she could do if she would just fucking leave blaise and this petty revenge shit behind and take the kids somewhere–

21) I mean technically the only bad thing that really happens to mama debeste that’s her fault is that she fucking dies and she knows it. she takes sole responsibility for that.

she splits responsibility with people she killed because tbh most of them sort of. deserved it.

she blames blaise for almost one hundred percent for everything else.

22) mama debeste appreciates honesty and kindness. she likes thoughtfulness and dedication to a hobby. she also likes good parents.

23) mama debeste will fight the westboro baptist church. she will also fight anything that reminds her of herself before she loved the kids. and also blaise debeste and everything related to him.

24) mama debeste trusts no one except for maybe people that phoenix trusts. She genuinely likes Greg and lets phoenix sleep over there even though she’s only met him a handful of times.

25) hahahaha mama debeste is the ultimate in seeing through people. she’s super suspicious of strangers and people she doesn’t know getting close to the house. acquaintances are graded based on how much they hate blaise (maximum hate being minimum suspicion). the only people close to mama debeste are phoenix and sebastian.

she worries about what might happen to phoenix and sebastian.

26) I’M CALLING HER MAMA DEBESTE FOR A REASON because at the end of her life she’s really really devoted to the safety of her kids. For the long childless period in the middle she believed that kids could be tools for revenge, but she never really lost the mothering touch, as it were. Shi-Long Lang remembers her very very fondly.

27) have you ever played a really long game of clue with someone and they figure out the answer but instead of running to the pool and announcing it they walk into the foyer and shoot the murderer in the face? yeah. the last logic battle with the ~true antagonist~ of aai2 wouldn’t have even happened because she would have shot him on sight.

her conflict with blaise is too personal for that though so they have a marriage of hate and she’s biding her time. I think that once her USE THE CHILDREN plan broke down she lost sight of whatever her goal was which ultimately ended up killing her.

28) mama debeste is a fan of the fists and an even greater fan of shooting things but she does her absolute best to remain passive and unassuming for as long as she possibly can.

29) I think mama debeste wanted to help people? she definitely had like, a brain surgeon phase, but once that passed I think she settled fairly well on public service through Interpol. there was probably a speaker that came to school or something tbh.

30) mama debeste won’t eat mushrooms and passes this trait onto her kids. she hates socks and sandals. wash ya damn hands. blaise debeste. she also isn’t a particular fan of praying mantises specifically.

31) welcome to the forest. three people are there, herself included. One of them is drawing, the other is fumbling around in the picnic basket looking for an orange. it is later in the day, but evening isn’t in the sky yet. The breeze is gentle and smells like pine.

#I hit length limit wow #brb making a second post #lady who r u #parental guidance

[aalt-ctrl-del]

Night Shift

Word Count: 4,800

Pages: 17

Synopsis: The new night guard is a failure.

 “Since when do you work?”

 The gaunt figure paused in the doorway, tucking in his shirt and giving the other ‘man’ a vacant sort of stare. “Work?  I always work.  If you paid attention more, you’d notice that.”

 “You two,” Allegra groaned.  She sat at the extravagant table, wrapped in a loose fitting robe with a coffee mug on a sweat rock.  “It’s too early to start this.” In truth it was nearly midnight, but each of them was up at this hour at night, regularly.  “Ish, Hai is a very capable individual, and he’s always held a reliable occupation.”

 “Haixus, look at that,” Ish began.  “You’ve upset Allegra.”

 Haixus threw his hands up.  “There’s no winning with you, is there?”  Ish made his way to a cupboard.  The tall figure moved smoothly, like gliding silk; he pulled out a coffee mug and turned to the sink.

 “Not with your professional ‘occupation’ ruling you.” Ish let the water run from the tap run sultry and steamy; scorching into the sink bottom.  Ish filled his mug, and then lifted the cup to his dark lips; he took a slow sip, eyes meeting Haixu’s above the rim.

 Haixus spun to Allegra about to start again, but the look she gave him was daunting.  Haxius couldn’t really argue against the point, anyway.  “You look very professional,” Allegra offered.  “Let me take a wild guess.  Security guard?”

 “Uh, yeah.” Haixus coughed.

 “Let me venture further?” Ish started it up again. “You’re employed as a mall guardian – guardian of the malls?”

 Haixus coughed again.  “No.  Actually, I’m a….”

 “Gone on.”

 “I’m working at the local pizzeria place.” Haixus finished, in a rather hasty mumble.  He tugged at his coat collar; it felt constraining.  Silence.

 “Oh,” Allegra broke in.  Ish left the kitchen.  “That sounds… easy.”

 “It is.”  Haixus finished tucking in his shirt, and went to the sink.  “I just have to keep an eye on the place, make sure the animatronics don’t bump into each other or break.  Stuff like that.  Easy!”

 Ish returned and tossed a newspaper on the table. “Is this the place?”

 Allegra studied the upside down page.  “Fuddy Fuzz bears?”

 “Freddie Faz bears,” Haixus barked.

 “This is today’s paper.  How long have you been employed there?” Ish pondered.

 “Huh?  The newspaper must still be running the wanted ad.”  Haixus checked his watch, and jarred.  “Shit!  My watch is not that fast!”  He raced out of the kitchen.  A second later, Haixus jogged back in.  “And if you touch her, I’ll smell it… like, a mile away.  You’ve been warned!”  Then, he darted out of the room.  In the distant hall, the backdoor slammed.

“Fuddy Fuzz bears?” Ish looked at Allegra.  She shrugged.

 “You’re not the only one that can tease him.  Are you saving this newspaper?”  A lanky cat leapt upon the table beside Allegra.  Ish scratched the animals back with his sharp fingernails.  The cat slinked away from Ish’s hand, and pressed the side of its fur against Allegra’s cheek.  Ish left the table, and glided over to the refrigerator, feline like.

 “I like to keep up to date with unnatural occurrences.” Ish took out a wrapped parchment, and moved about the kitchen collecting cutting board, knife, knife sharpener, and saucers.  As he moved, various pitches of mewing entered the kitchen.  “Employees tend to go missing at this ‘pizzah’ establishment.  Here kitty-kitty-kitties.”

 Allegra was forced to abandon the table.  Cats of every shade and shape leapt upon the large table, mewing, hissing, cleaning themselves.  This always creeped her out.  She ventured to the safe corner of the kitchen and poured some more coffee.  She checked her watch.

 “Missing?” she echoed.  “Up and vanished?  While on shift, I presume.”

 “Patience my darlings.” Ish sipped from his mug of water. He prepared up filets of fish and set the portions on numerous saucer dishes.  “Precisely.”

 Allegra pulled the newspaper from the crowd of cats and examined the wanted ad.  “Oh, so you don’t plan to actually do anything about this?”

 “I like to follow tragedies and paranormal mysteries, the same as mortals enjoy watching sports events.”  Ish carried dozens of stacked saucer plates on his shoulders and outstretched arms, two on his head; he made it to the table and set down the plates.  “Eat hearty my children.  Survive, and grown, live and thrive.  That place is cursed.”

 “You… say that about a lot of places.  Is it really?  Or do the disgruntled employees quit and go somewhere else to work?  I mean, I’ve never read up about these disappearances. Look at this wage… I suppose Hai doesn’t care that much, as long as they don’t run a background check?”  Allegra turned, and looked in the direction Haixus had departed in. She felt Ish place a hand on her shoulder and squeeze.  “I should keep track of them.”

 “I do not need to be the one to tell you, that any corporation can façade a cover-up,” Ish spoke, gently.  “If one has the money.”

 “Do you think Hai will be okay?”

 Ish grinned behind Allegra.  The saltiness saturated his voice.  “No.”

 **

The power went out two minutes ago.

 Haixus sat in his chair, staring at the oily surface of the tablet that was cold and silent.  The room was growing stuffier by the minute without the fan.  He chewed on a plastic straw, listening to the sounds echoing throughout the building; the dull shuffle-plod-plod of heavy steps, thick laughter, and clicking.  He tried the cord phone, but remembered the power was completely out.

 “Damn,” he muttered through his fingers.  “This sucks a bit.”

 Being left in the pitch black didn’t bother him too much.  But to be honest, the distant shuffling and distorted voices were getting on his unnerved side. Haixus winced when a light came on in the open doorway to his left, and a face leered out at him – eyes flashing and teeth aglow.

 “How did you get there?  The tune you got there…. I can dig it.”  He moved out of his chair and backed up into a corner. He debated unblocking the vent and climbing up in there, but that’d be somewhat claustrophobic.  “Do I know that song?”  Claustrophobic didn’t seem so bad.

 The lights and song faded out.  It was just the towering plush bear and Haixus.

 “Looks like s-s-somebodies lost their char-char-character!” the bear cheerily barked.

 “What?” he spat.  Then it came back to him.  That phone message the guy left… something about endo-skeleton out of costume and stuffing, whatever that meant ot sounded deceivingly delightful, like Thanksgiving or something.  “Whoa, hold on chief!  I’m not part of this technological hooblah hearsay you got going on.”

 And the massive animatronic was getting closer; thudding on heavy feet, and padded arms reaching.  Haxius climbed onto the desk behind the chair and arched his back.

 “I’m perfectly good in my current skin!  Don’t touch me!”  Haixus hissed, and swiped at the bears face.  “I’m not some freakish turducken!”

 “Don’t-t be-be a sp-sp-sp-spoiled sport, friend.” The bear seized Haixus up and hauled him out of the room.  Not without no small amount of resistance.  Haixus dug his claws into the door frame; a feat that would have been more effective if the frame wasn’t reinforced steel.   “We’ll get you f-fixed up in a j-j-jiffy!”  It spoke with that deceptively cheerful, yet sinister tone; the voice synthesizer drowning out and rekindling, the worlds at times melting.

 Haixus spat and riled, clawing at fur; the mechanical arms compressed his ribs, crushing bone and muscle.  All the air wheezed out of him in a thin wheeze, but still Haixus fought and bit – the mechanical bear continued its methodical pace through the vacant corridors, nonplussed.  There was no more screaming; only screeching and hissing.  The bear lost its grip on Haixus’ torso, but kept a firm grip on an ankle.  Haixus clawed at the sticky tile floor.

 “It’s t-t-time to ea-ea-ea….” The looming mechanical bird groaned.  It slouched in an intersecting hall, eyes dimming.

 Haixus snared the big-bird by the leg, but the bear refused to let go; now it was Haixus being dragged, while the large bird clunked and skid, and periodically twitched at the jaw.  Eventually, the yellow fabric on the shin tore clean off the mechanical understructure, and Haixus was back at clawing the filthy floor.

 “Take it easy buddy chumo-chumo-chu-chu….”  The mechanical bear threw a door open – slid the door open.

 Haixus took in the smell of metal and outdated grease, moldering fabric and ancient crusty cheese.  There was also a whiff of something else within the depressing room, something familiar.  As the bear attempted to throw him onto a table, Haixus lurched off.  The bear snagged the side of Haixus arm – a chunk of skin tore off in the powerful servo.  The bear glanced at the gleaming flesh, eyes lit.

 At the door Haixus barreled into a wall of yellow. The bird locked its arms around his body when Haixus began clawing up its front.  “I-I’m always open-n-n-n-nnnnn…. to  hugs!”

 “Fuck this shit!  Fuck this shit I’m out!”  Haixus gaged when the bear wrapped its finger around his throat, and with the help of the bird, they hauled Haixus over to the table.

 “Take it eass-sy, chumo.” The bear jeered.  Its eyes gleamed in the ill light as it left Haixus and the walking bird abomination, and went over to a back wall. Haixus could see a silhouette, knew exactly what the bear tugged off a sharp hook.  He writhed and snarled; blood smeared the grungy table under his backside.

 “No… don’t—” His voice gurgled.  The bird was compressing his ribs and heart into his spine; copper exploded in the back of his throat, intermixing with the stench of the room.

 The bear dumped a heap of weighted fabric onto the table beside Haixus; the jumble of material emitted a disarming whump.  The head lolled, and drab, lifeless eyes leered at Haixus.  “This’ll only t-t-take a moment…..”

 **

 Two days passed and Allegra was getting worried. Haixus never left without a good bye – he did leave, sometimes abruptly, but before he would disappear completely he always found a way to get in contact with her.  Usually some elaborate and cheesy ‘messenger’ method, but he was consistent like that.  He knew she worried about him.  To emphasize the uncharacteristic behavior, he as hell wouldn’t have jumped ship without insuring she was far out Ish’s grasp, in a more secure location if possible.

 Ish didn’t express the same level of concern at all – was probably glad?  But he made an effort to comfort her during this time.

 “He was worthless anyway.”

 Ish made the effort.

 Allegra buried herself in her work, as she often did when something bothered her.  In that respect she was a workaholic; she had a lot on her mind all the time, particularly if and when Haixus called for an untimely visit (he was good to her like that). Sometimes more so when Haixus went missing; Allegra kept up to date with missing peoples cases, not out of any benefit for Haixus, but more of her peace of mind.  Their relationship was a morbid one, and she was beginning to worry about where it was going, what it would lead to.

 The usual line up of callers came to her profession – druggies, jealous partners, robberies gone wrong, revenge, drowning’s, crimes of passion, the homeless.  Allegra worked at the morgue; performing autopsies and working with the police department to disentangle the various hidden clues of Death’s touch.  Some found the line of work tolerable, others like herself found the occupation stressful – stressful in a good way. There was no hope after death, but if the science worked out, there was the occasional closure that families needed. Many never received such blessings.

 At the district Allegra currently worked, she was in Ish’s jurisdiction.  That was why Haixus tolerated Ish’s company – Allegra herself never had a problem with Ish. Until….

 Out of the blue one day, Ish approached her with some extra work – atop everything additional she had previously take on. “I’m a little swamped,” she said.

 “You said you could handle it.” Ish passed over the folder, and gazed at her quizzically.  “Try not to work to-too hard.”

 Allegra leaned against the cold cinderblock wall, and flipped through the file.  “I still think we should go by the place and question the manager, or something.  I looked into our records, and found that we have done some odd… commission work for them in the past.”

 “No,” Ish enunciated.  He glowered on Allegra for a few more minutes.  Then, leaned close to her ear.  “That place is cursed.”

 “We should do something!” Allegra hollered at his retreating back.  She looked back at the file, and paused.  She skimmed through the handwritten report – the handwriting was terrible.

 Ten minutes later, Allegra met up with her autopsy partner, and intern from a local medical school, Easton.

 “Who wrote this report?” Easton sniggered, as he tilted the file sideways.  A pile of photos spilled out; he dropped mid-step and hastened to pick up the pages, while Allegra kept walking.  “From what I can make out, it sounds especially gruesome.”

 “Easton, let me just speak for the thousands of people who will be grateful of your noble decision to change your career pursuits, but we are grateful in the sacrifice you have made.”  Allegra sighed.

 “Right, right.  I should act on being more somber.”  Eaton caught up, shuffling the photos back into the folder; nearly dumped them out.  Again.

 “Only if you want to come across as empathetic, in the off chance you have to communicate with the bereaved.”  Allegra took her magnet card and pressed it to the door lock.

 “Stuffed in a knapsack.” Easton grimaced, sticking his tongue out.  “Who does that?”

 “Someone with a lot of problems.”  Allegra strolled into the blinding white room; the scent of blood overwhelming, but not gag inducing.  The floor was occupied by three steel tables, one wall was dedicated to the stainless steel doors of freezers; and the remainder walls adorned countertops, sinks, and glassed in cabinets.

 “Hold on,” Easton uttered.  “Are we in the right room?”

 Allegra spun to Easton, then, swung around fully and followed his gaze.  She dropped a container she pulled from a drawer; the small box clattered on the tile floor.  On one table lay a shape she didn’t recognize.  It resembled one of those badly built fursuits, but soaked through in dark patches around the joints.  Its presence was unsettling.

 “This is the room on the file – two-four-seven,” Easton offered, upon reentry.  “The pictures are a knapsack.  That’s no knapsack.  That’s a mascot costume.”

 “Brilliant deduction,” Allegra muttered.  She edged closer to the tables side, but held back.

 “Are we being punked?  You think?  Or did Ish fuck up on the room numbers?  Is someone in there?”  Easton approached the table.  He pulled up a pair of industrial gloves and slipped them on, then, raised the wrist and held it aloft.  The hand clacked against the table.  “Smells like something dead.”

 “First off, rude.” The suit sat upright, the comically tall ears swayed, and the enlarged eyes gleamed.  Easton screamed bloody murder and bolted backwards; his leg hit the side of the table and he went down like a champ.  The animal costume loomed over Easton, dripping black and red out of its joints.  “Well— is that chloroform I smell?”

 “Haixus?”  Allegra set the bottle by the sink, and washed her hands.  She turned back to the… she grimaced. “What happened?” Haxius gestured her way with a fuzzy digit.

 “That… is a very good question.  Which I will have to make up a reasonable answer for, but later….”

 “Are you okay?”

 “No….” Haixus’ voice gurgled.  “I’m in paaiiin.  Can you… I tried to peel this off when my shift ended.”

 “And how did that go?”

 “You don’t need glasses, right?”  The ears wiggled, as Haixus gestured himself.  “Can’t you see?  This is my death suit.”  He stood still as Allegra gave him a cursory look over, back to front.  She lifted his arm, and Haixus whimpered.  “Tender.  That’s tender.”  Allegra stood back.  She glanced from Haixus to her partner Easton, out cold on the floor, and then back to Haixus.

 “I think you need a muzzle.”

 “What?  No-no-no.” Haixus followed Allegra over to the wall phone.  She raised the phone from the receiver and dialed a line within the building.  

 “Ish.”

 “No-no!  Not Ish,” Haixus gurgled.  He could hear Ish’s condescending voice from the other side.  He tried to snatch the phone from Allegra, but she pressed a hand to his chest.  Hiaxus body went rigid, and he relented.  “Don’t call him in.”

 “I found Hai.”

 “Oh?” Ish purred.

 Haixus tugged on the ears.  And winced.  He slowly lowered his arms; red soaked into the fuzzy fabric of the torso.  “I’m perfectly okay-A— Argh!”

 “He’s appalling,” Allegra went on.

 “Mm, yes.  I have always known that.”

 “Can you bring a belt or something?  We need to peel him out of this… is he a rabbit? He looks like a zombiefied Roger Rabbit.”

 “I’ll see what I can do.  In the meantime, see if you can get him to hold still.”

 “No,” Haixus choked.  Allegra shooed him.  “On the table!  Go on. No one needs to—”

 The door clicked, and swung open.  Allegra froze – three morticians entered, the group amid conversation and distracted – Allegra ducked down.  Beneath the tables, she could see the legs of the arrivals as they filed into the room.  And stopped.

 The newcomers gawked at the wily mascot, uncomprehending.  One smirked, bewildered.  The mascot gaped back, stiff as a statue.  A soft little tune started playing out of the chest.

 “This is awkward—” Chaos erupted.  Two morticians bolted out the door; the third chucked the bundle of folders at the walking atrocity, before pursuing the others out. The mascot swiped the spiraling pages aside with one arm – the door cracked in its frame.  There was a lot of screaming, but no one was really hurt.  Except Haixus’ feelings.  

 From the side of the room came a dull moaning. “Ale’ga?”  Easton rolled over and forced his eyelids up.  His vision bubbled back stiffly – he was overtaken by a brash wave of copper and cheap plastic – in his immediate sight emerged a dark silhouette, swollen eyes burning.  It reached down and took him by the throat, padded fingers digging into his windpipe. A feeble cry diminished in Easton’s throat, and he sagged instantly.

 The mascot hesitated, eyes glaring blankly at the unconscious man.  It hefted Easton higher—

 A box shattered against the fuzzy shoulder; cotton balls scattered across the floor, a few stuck to the fabric of the suit. The ears wriggled as the head swung toward the assailant.  Allegra. She gripped another container in her hands, back pressed against a counter.

 “Hai, come out of it,” Allegra warned, raising the container.  “You— Are you still there?”

 “Yes,” the voice gargled.  “It is… Haixus.”  He cast a final look at the suspended Easton, and released the limp body.  Easton crumpled at his feet.  “What an efficient trap.”  Haixus examined his arms and torso over.  He put his hands to the mask and tugged.  “Quel inconvénient.”

 “Haixus!” Allegra spat.  “Or whoever you are!”

 “Je suis, Haixus.” He clawed at the mask and neck; a careening snarl worked its way out above the melodic tune the suit insisted on playing.  “Engin méprisable!”  

 “Hai!  Stop it!” Allegra moved away as whatever it was fought the mechanical suit it was confined within – it wore the fingers to bare metal with grappling at the mask, and caused excessive bleeding to erupt profusely across the neck.  Allegra moved in close, container still in hand, unsure if she should assist or if it was really wise to interact with the madness. “Hai!”

 All at once it stopped.  The music and the frantic panic within the costume.  The mascot stood prone, hunched over.  Red seeped down the front of the costumes stomach; and the voice behind the mask wheezed, “Ce qu'un piège prévoyant prévoyait.” Carefully, it slumped beside a table and sagged.

 Allegra waited a few seconds – realized she didn’t have that sort of time – she inched forward and knelt beside the costume. “Hai?  Or whatever….”  A thin red puddle formed under the suit.

 “Il a très… faim,” the voice muttered.

 Before Allegra could question further, the door clicked and flung erupted open.  Allegra jerked back, weapon aloft— but to her relief it was only Ish.  “Thank the stars!  Something’s happened to him… he went berserk and— You sent them to this room!”

 Ish glanced at Allegra as he knelt by the bloodied mascot.  “Someone saw the inaccuracy and attempted to fix it.  I was omitted from this action.”  Ish tugged Haixus up by the arm; Allegra grabbed Ish’s wrists.

 “Careful!  He’s caught up in this… device.  And… whatever else is in there.”  Allegra realized she didn’t comprehend precisely what was causing the extensive bleeding, only that Haixus referred to is as a ‘trap’.  She hurried around the room nabbing a plastic sheet, and a cloth cover.  “Hai. We can’t ‘Weekend at Bernies’ out of here.  This is a morgue, you need to be upright.”

 Ish frowned as the rabbit head dropped to his shoulder.  “Where are we taking him?”

 “My place, your place.  Anywhere we can keep him under control, and keep control of our environment.”  Allegra wrapped the plastic around Haixus’ head and body, then draped the sheet around him.  “But foremost we have to move him from this room, and get it cleaned up.  We’ll stash him in my office – I need to pick up new needles, and some other tools.”

 “We are really doing this?  Haixus, you can still walk.  Move.”  Ish pressed the smaller figure on ahead.  The blind figure shambled a few steps, and then tripped on the unconscious Easton. Ish put a hand to his forehead and sighed.

 The whole building was abuzz about the rumors of the ‘gag’ that was played on three morticians, and the confusion regarding room two-four-seven, where there was an alleged body within a ‘knapsack,’ but no such evidence present.  Ish relocated Easton to a different autopsy room, and dedicated the next thirty minutes to cleaning the room – a chore beneath him, but there was no submitting a report about ‘bloody cartoon animal feet’.  And there were the surveillance cameras that needed altering.  But Ish was a supervisor, and few of the other higher ups ever questioned his methods – it could have something to do with mind altering and intimidating persuasion, but who was to say?

 That was what they primarily used while walking Haixus out of the building.  Most the respondents didn’t question Ish about his odd behavior, but when someone had the compulsion to question the lumbering sheet, Ish answered:

 “Distracting object.”

 Then that orderly or janitor would totter off, muttering about their private delusions.

 All that was left was packing Allegra’s car with the tools, and stuffing the bundle of blankets into the backseat.  Though the evening hours were early, the trio managed to move stealthily among the employee vehicles within the dark parking area. If Haixus wasn’t led properly, he bumped into a car and went rigid.  It was pathetic.

 “I’ll sit with the abomination.”  Ish slipped into the back, beside the mascot bundle; sheet partially covering the loopy ears and grin.  He grimaced at the blank gaze of the facemask, gawking.  “Though I do not prefer it, we will go to my residents. I have additional tools.”

 Allegra thanked Ish, and climbed into the driver seat. Ish didn’t live too far away. “Make sure he doesn’t bleed all over my seats.”  She maneuvered the car out of the company parking, and made her way into main traffic.

 “Guys.  Guys,” Haixus gurgled.  His voice was awful, guttural.  “I spent the night shift at Fazz Bears Pizzeria, and all I got was this… macabre costume.  Hahahaa, o god, I’m in pain.”  Ish glared over when Haixus’ rested his plush cartoon head on his shoulder.

 “I vouch we leave the head on.” Ish shoved Haixus over, causing Haixus’ shoulder to smash into the car door.  The head wore that stupid grin as it gazed out at traffic.  

 “Ow.”  

 “And stitch the mouth shut.”

 When they stopped at a traffic light, Haixus was still lying limp and gazing out at a streetlamp; mesmerized by the watery light. In the back of a small truck parked beside Allegra’s car, a child peered out of the window and across to Haixus. The child timidly waved.  Haixus waved back.  “Be honest with me.  Do I look as grotesque as I feel?”

 “Yes.”  “Yes….” Haixus shifted his glare.

 “Ally, you could’ve at least had my back.”  Allegra adjusted her rearview mirror, and stared deadpanned at the grinning rabbit.

 “I’m not lying to that face.  I’ll elaborate.  You are repulsive.”

 “By the way,” Ish began.  “How did you salvage you immoral soul from going missing like the others?  I presume that they must have gone missing in the same … let’s say fashion, which you have found yourself currently.”

 Allegra looked back at Ish.  “Was that a pun?  Are you being punny?”  Ish grinned. Sort of.

 Haixus coughed, and tried speaking up.  “It could have something to do with the small fact I bypassed dying, and walked out?”

 “Yeah,” Allegra interjected.  She pulled up into the drive of Ish’s home – it was dark, and the nearby streetlamp offered enough light for her to seeby, but would obscure whatever the hell they were doing in the eyes of potential peepers.  Ish was mostly on good terms with his neighbors; that is, what Ish believed.  Allegra grabbed her equipment from the trunk, and helped Ish escort Haixus up the porch steps.  “But… why did it take two days for you to be found?  Why didn’t you come straight to Ish’s place the next day?  And… how did you wind up in this suit?”

 “I will answer the ‘Ish home base’ quest.” Haixus leaned on a cement column, while Ish fumbled with the front door.  “Do you think there might have been the off chance of getting picked up, and resuming the magical vacation of ‘going missing,’ if I was spotted wandering around looking like the byproduct of a magicians botched magic trick?”

 “That place is cursed.”

 “O gawd, stop!” Haixus wheezed.  “There is absolutely nothing supernatural in our world.” Allegra brushed past Haixus, and entered the home.  She set the medical box aside, and knelt to pet a few of the cats that came to greet her.

 “Have you looked in a mirror lately?” she posed.

 “There is a completely scientific and wholly natural reason for—” Haixus stepped through the doorway, and the cats crowding in the living room entry SCATTERED.  Vanished. Teleported out of existence. “Me.”

 Ish sniffed.  He turned and walked back out.  “We don’t have enough plastic.”

 “Let’s see.  Allegra checked her watch.  “I forgot to clock out – I have an early shift tomorrow, in the morn – but hey, I’m rearin’ to dig metal pipes out of your chest cavity.”  She heaved up the med box one armed, and looped her other arm around Haixus’ plush, but soggy shoulders.  “I can fix it!”

 Haixus stumbled as she led him on. “Are you okay?”

 “I’m livid.  But mostly very glad that you’re… uh, that you’re umm.” Allegra stood back from Haixus and looked him up and down.  “That you’re… contained?  Secure?”

 “Golly shucks, I think I love you.”

 “Well no, you don’t actually.  You’re words, not mine.  Right?”  Allegra stared at Haixus’ swollen cartoon eyes.  There was tense silence.  Then, she started snickering.  “I’m sorry. When you stand in the shadows like that, you look ridiculous – with those bouncing ears, and that bowtie.”  Allegra went stiff.  

 Haixus was got up a sound, but the blow to his backside sent him down fast.  It didn’t take much; jagged cogs and wire threads were cutting into his skull.  The mascot costume still wore its exaggerated grin when he hit the floor; a gush of blood splattered the carpet.

 “As precaution, remove that head last.” Ish lifted Haixus by a bundle of wires protruding from the costumes neck-back. The goofy face was still staring at Allegra, as Haixus’ unresponsive body was dragged away.  Ish carried the plastic sheet under arm, and shoved his door shut with an elbow.

 “It’s gonna be sort of creepy working on him, with that thing staring at us.”

 “Then drape a sheet over his face,” Ish proposed. “Or stuff his head in a sack.”  

 “So practical,” Allegra muttered.  She watched as Ish passed one of the cats; the cat arched her back – hair jagged and on end – and the feline hissed audibly.  

 “Cursed.”

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[zolganif]

• I miss somebody right now. • I don’t watch much TV these days. • I own lots of books. • I wear glasses or contact lenses. • I love to play video games. • I’ve tried marijuana. • I’ve watched porn movies. • I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. • I believe honesty is generally the best policy. • I curse sometimes. • I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. • I carry my knife / razor everywhere with me. • I have broken someone’s bones. • I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal. • I hate the rain. • I’m paranoid at times. • I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. • I need / want money right now. • I love sushi. • I talk really, really fast. • I have fresh breath in the morning. • I have long hair. • I have lost money in Las Vegas. • I have at least one sibling. • I was born in a country outside of the U.S. • I have worn fake hair / fingernails/ eyelashes in the past. • I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D.  • I like the way that I look. • I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months. • I am usually pessimistic. • I have a lot of mood swings. • I slept with a roommate. • I have a hidden talent. • I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have. • I have a lot of friends. • I have kissed someone of the same sex. • I enjoy talking on the phone. • I practically live insweatpants or PJ pants. • I love to shop and / or window shop. • I’m obsessed with my Livejournal. • I don’t hate anyone. I dislike them. • I’m a pretty good dancer. • I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother. • I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months. • I’ve rejected someone before. • I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. • I want to have children in the future.  • I have changed a diaper before. • I have a lot to learn. • I am shy around the opposite sex. • I’m online 24 / 7, even as an away message. • I have at least 5 away messages saved. • I have tried alcohol or drugs before. • I have made a move on a friend’s significant other or crush in the past. • I own the “South Park” movie. • I have avoided assignments at work / school to be on Livejournal. • I enjoy some country music. • I’m obsessive, and often a perfectionist. • I have used my sexuality to advance my career. • Halloween is awesome because you get free candy. • I have dated a close friend’s ex. • I am happy at this moment. • I’m obsessed with guys. • Democrat. • Conservative Republican. • I go for older guys / girls, not younger. • I study for tests most of the time. • I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I’ve ever met. • I can work on a car. • I love my job. • I am comfortable with who I am right now. • I have more than just my ears pierced. • I walk barefoot wherever I can. • I have jumped off a bridge. • I love sea turtles.  • I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup. • I plan on achieving a major goal / dream. • I am proficient on a musical instrument. • I hate office jobs. • I went to college out of state. • I am adopted. • I am a pyro. • I have thrown up from crying too much. • I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved. • I fall for the worst people and have been hurt every time. • I adore bright colors. • I usually like covers better than originals. • I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays. • I can pick up things with my toes. • I can’t whistle. • I have ridden/ owned a horse. • I still have every journal I’ve ever written in. • I talk in my sleep. • I’ve often thought that I was born in the wrong century. • I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions. • I wear a toe ring. • I have a tattoo. • I can’t stand at LEAST one person that I work with. • I am a caffeine junkie. • I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I’m not ashamed at all. • If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder. • I’ve cosplayed or know what cosplaying is. • I have been to over 15 conventions. • I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better. • I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner. • I’m an artist. I like to draw. • I am ambidextrous. • I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed. • If it weren’t for having to see other people naked, I’d live in a nudist colony. • I have more friends on the internet than in real life. • I have lived in either three different states or countries. • I am extremely flexible. • I want to own my own business. • I smoke. • I spend way too much time on the computer. • Nobody has ever said I’m normal. • Sad movies, games, fics and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then. • I am proficient in the use of many types of firearms and combat weapons. • I like the way women look in stylized men’s suits. • I don’t like it when people are displeased or seem displeased with me. • I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds. • I have played strip poker with someone else before. • I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help. • I believe in ghosts and the paranormal. • I can’t stand being alone. • I have at least one obsession at any given time. • I weigh myself, pee / poo, and then weigh myself again. • I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment. • I’m a judgmental asshole. • I’m a HUGE drama-queen. • I sometimes wish my father would just disappear. • I need people to tell me I’m good at something in order to feel that I am. • I can speak more than one language. • I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be. • I would rather read than watch TV. • I like reading fact more than fiction. • I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do. • I have no piercings. • I have spent the night in a train station or other public place. • I once spent Christmas completely alone because there was a miscommunication on which parent was supposed to have me that night. • I’ve been married and am now divorced. • There have been times when I have wondered “Why was I born?” and may / may not have cried over it. • I like most animals better than most people. • I own a collection of retro games consoles. • The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver. • I have hit someone with a dead fish. • I have written / read erotic stories. • I am compulsively honest. • I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired. • I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers. And not been ashamed. • I have gone from wishing I was a boy to reveling in being a girl to feeling like a boy again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex. • I sometimes won’t sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to. • I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on. • I dislike milk.  • I obsessively wash my hands. • I always carry that something significant around with me. • Sometimes I’d rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair. • I love talking about myself to the point where I need to be stopped. • I often sing whenever I can. • I have experienced some type of traumatic abuse in my lifetime. • I’ve experienced visions and dreams which I know / believe are from my past life. • I have deja vu so vivid that I feel faint. • I love Harry Potter. • My parents are not together. • I don’t believe in love. • I hate people who walk incredibly slow. • I have extreme contempt for the vast majority of people. • Sometimes I don’t shower before work. • To me, procrastination is like a disease! • I want to sleep now. • I am a typical Gemini born. • The more I searched the less I’ve found. • As a child I was a huge crybaby. • I’m feeling alone very fast. • I’m living in a fairytale and I’m the noble Princess, who saves the day! • I always have to spell my (real) name. • I want to die in my sleep. • I have a strange laugh. • If they let me, I can sleep 12 hours in a row. • I wish I could transform myself into a boy every now and then. • I dance in the rain and don’t feel like a fool. • I have a favorite stuffed animal that I will not ever get rid of. • I sing 80’s hair metal songs into my hairbrush on a daily basis. • I have a speech disorder. • I’m infatuably attracted to men with long, blond, curly hair. • I sometimes have the urge to take a shot of whiskey or open a can of beer at odd times in the day. • I have a weakness for guys with nice bodies. • I plan to move to another country at some point in my life.

[robertsneagle]

50 Ideas to Organize Your Home

When you have a home, you have a need for home organization. Fact is, we all have “stuff”. And “stuff”, can end up slowing down our day, and ruffling our feathers in the evening. “Stuff” quickly becomes clutter, and who wants that?

If you have stacks of papers that belong no where, crazy and chaotic mornings, or lost car keys, check out these easy ideas.

 Evenings/Mornings:

1. This one is pretty self explanatory… Lay our everything you are going toneed in the morning the night before, and teach your kids to do the same. Photo below by ‘BHG‘.

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2. Have a central area for purses, keys and your wallet. Always put it there. Always.

3. Set out everything for breakfast that is non refrigerated, right down to the spoons. Obviously, this means knowing whats for breakfast the night before. No stops at Krispy Kreme, ok?

  4. Write up a daily to do list for the next morning on your smart phone and put priority items first. Move items from today that didn’t get done into tomorrows list. Update your calendar. We like an app called “Cozi“. It has the capability to handle your whole families activities, and you can even keep your grocery list there. This calendar lets each family member share with one, two or all other members what their schedule is. It can also send you email reminders, like for trash day. Oh, and it’s free. Photo by ‘Container Store‘.

  5. Go get gas, pick up the first graders cupcakes, or get that pencil sharpener that your high schooler can never seem to find. Don’t put off errands ’till morning when everything is busy.

     Bathrooms:

6. Keep your bathroom paraphernalia out of sight when not in use. Buy a plastic carry all with a handle on top, or a pretty basket. Put all of your make up, deodorant, hair spray, razors, etc. into the container and place under the counter. Bring it out when you need it, then always put it right back underneath.

  7. Shower caddies are essential for keeping the shampoos, conditioner, face scrubs and specialty in-shower treatments from taking over the whole space.  (Guilty.) This one is from ‘The Container Store‘.

  8. Squeegee your shower doors after every single shower. Keeping the squeegee right in the shower makes that easier. Add a little suction cup hook if you need. If you have a shower curtain, use a daily shower spray to keep clean up from being impossible when you finally get around to a whole bathroom cleaning.

9. A strip of magnetic tape (any craft store) or a magnetic knife holder can help keep items like nail clippers, tweezers and scissors handy.

10. Use those wasted corners and awkward space to put in a freestanding cabinet to add storage. Photo by ‘BHG‘. Remember to repurpose to save bucks, paint is everything!

  11. Once a month, go through your bathroom cupboards and drawers and throw away old or ineffective products you never use.

12. Roll your towels and use them as decor tucked into pretty baskets on piled on a bench.  Check out our post on DYSS on DIY bathroom towel storage! Photo by ‘BHG“.

  13. Use wall hooks for hanging towels, robes and clothing. Behind the door is a great way to use wasted space.

14. Use drawer organizers for makeup, jewelry, ponytail holders, and other loose items. Or make your own. Try our post on budget make up storage for ideas.

15. Use pretty floating shelves to add storage above the toilet, and add value to the room. Need tutorials? DIY floating shelves.

16. Use a timer in each bathroom, and use it… This is great for getting out the door on time, AND getting teenagers out of the shower.

  Closet:

17. Place color separate baskets in your closet for laundry,  and one for dry cleaning. This will save you time sorting clothes, and you will always know when you have enough colors for a full load.

  18. If you haven’t worn it in a year, donate it. Goodwill and some other charities even take worn out clothes, as it employs people while they are redirected to recyclers.

19. Sort your clothes by season, and only keep the present season in your closet. Pack out of season clothes away in an under bed storage container. DIY under bed storage ideas!

20. Put your clothes in categories that work for you. Color, formality, type or office wear are good places to start. This will save you time putting together outfits, and save you money from re-purchasing items you didn’t remember you had, as they were buried in the closet… somewhere. Inevitably to make their re-appearance right after the return window on your new item has expired.

21. Recycle wire hangers. Clothes simply slide off of them to the floor. Get velvet hangers at Costco to hold even the slinkiest silk dress. Or make your own with this tutorial on no slip hangers by Diane from ‘In My Own Style’.

  22. Use a system for hanging scarves and belts. Shoving them in a drawer is no good for anyone.

23. Use a shoe rack. Rotate out of season shoes just the way you rotate out of season clothes. No reason for six pairs of leather boots to bury all your cute sandals in July.

24. Use hooks on any closet wall space to hang purses, jackets, and accessories. Photo by ‘HGTV‘.

  25. Use vacuum sealed bags to store out of season clothes in a tight space. Just don’t use this method on delicate fabrics, as the wrinkles could become permanent.

  Kitchen:

26. Organize your kitchen cabinets into categories. Make sure your cups are near the fridge so you can easily pour that afternoon juice, and your utensil drawer is near the dishwasher so you don’t have to make ten trips across the kitchen. Pots and pans? Near the stove. Kids plates? On a lower shelf so they can get to them without calling you from the first bath you have had in a month. Getting it?

  27. Keep whatever you use for a pantry immaculate. No where does clutter make more of a mess than with food.  Try our post on organizing your pantry.

28. Add a kitchen island to a small kitchen to increase storage and prep space. No worries, we’ve got that covered for you too. DIY kitchen islands, and more DIY kitchen islands! Want some more? Try this DIY rolling kitchen island from Jen at ‘House of Wood’!

  29. Use an inexpensive plastic lazy-susan in the back of deep cupboards, so you never forget whats hiding back there!

30. Try to store tupperware in a drawer rather than a shelf, as that way you will always be able to find a matching lid.

31. Only keep things on the counter you use often. We only keep the Vita Mix and the Keurig on the counter, even the toaster goes in the pantry and gets brought out daily when needed. And if I could convince my other half, the Vita Mix would go under the counter too! (Not the Keurig folks, at this very minute I’m sipping its second offering of the day.)

32. Do you have cards and scraps of paper with scribbled recipes on them? I don’t even care if they are printed from your computer, time to come into the 21st century people. “Evernote” is a free app, where you can take photos of each recipe with your phone or tablet, add them and even organize them into folders. (Thanks to reader Karen for this tip!)

33. Have a whole closet full of plastic grocery store bags? Tuck 10-20 into one or two bags to hang onto, then recycle your plastic bags folks!

34. Keep your fridge clean. Every time you go to the grocery store, make sure to clean out the old food and toss. Rotate older food into the front so it is used up first. Try these 7 steps to an organized fridge. Jessica at ‘Four Generations, One Roof‘ uses containers to hold containers in her fridge. Love this idea!

  Kid’s Room:

35. Hang a hoop over a laundry basket for slam-dunking dirty clothes.

36. Or, place a two-compartment hamper in your kid’s room so he or she can sort light clothes from dark clothes as they undress.

37. Use poster putty in your child’s room and have your child display his or her favorite artwork all on one wall, gallery style.

38. Hang a net from the ceiling to store stuffed animals, dolls, or action figures.

39. Add wall mounted bookshelves and help your child organize their books. Make sure you remember if you place a large bookshelf in a child’s room, bolt it to the wall for safety. Need ideas? Try our post at DYSS on creative bookshelf projects.

40. Buy the kids their own alarm clocks and teach them how to get up on time. By themselves. Without you.

  Misc.

41. Make sure everything in your house has a home. Teach all family members to mind their own messes. For example, if you take it out, put it back; if you open it, close it; if you throw it down, pick it up; if you make a mess, clean it up; and so on.

42. Put wastebaskets in every room and place several unused trash bags in the bottom of each one. This will eliminate countless trips to retrieve new trash bags and give all family members a place to throw away their trash.

43. Make sure the remotes have a drawer, basket or shelf to live on. How often have you found it under the sofa?

44. Use a plastic caddy to store cleaning supplies in and tote it from room to room.

45. Use a plastic laundry basket for quick pick up and transport of toys to their proper homes each evening.

46. Make a designated area for homework, crafts or sewing. You can create a very organized space in a small area, and that prevents you from having projects strewn all over the house. Photo of this craft area by ‘Country Living‘.

  47. Each night before bedtime, have all family members pick up clutter for 15 minutes. Make a game out of it and see who can pick up the most things in the shortest amount of time.

48. Have one designated spot where kids are to leave school flyers, permission slips that need to be signed and school photo envelopes. Make this part of the nightly “laying out for tomorrow” habit.

49. Make a master grocery list on the app or website of your choice. Categorize the groceries into sections such as frozen, dairy, and so on. In each category, list the most frequent items that you buy. Organize the grocery list according to the way your favorite grocery store’s isles are set up. Make sure each adult or teenager has the app loaded on their phone as well. If they forget to add Pop Tarts to the list, then they are eating oatmeal.

50. Don’t leave things ’till later. Procrastination is the number one cause of clutter and mess. Take care of it right then and there.

Make sure your home runs as smoothly as it can, and that you can take the time to enjoy it, instead of always dealing with clutter and chaos.

Image Credits: Country Living, BHG, Good Housekeeping, Container Store, Interior Design Inspiration, HGTV, House of Wood, Four Generations, One Roof

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Original Entry Source: http://www.thebudgetdecorator.com/50-ideas-to-organize-your-home/