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#i cant tell if this even makes sense
fairyofshampgyu · 8 months
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Been in a dom gyu brainrot lately I HAVE BETRAYED MY ROOTS IK IM A DISGRACE 😟😪 IT WONT LEAVE MY MINDHSJ ITS PAINFUL BUT ANYWAY SHORT DISCOMBOBULATED DRABBLE
Thinking about high sex w stoner boy beomgyu with piercings ! whose always known to get into some kind of trouble all the time, always mischievous and teasing and your friends saying he’s bad a influence on you and you shouldn’t hang out with him that much but you still do and don’t listen to them, always dismissing and saying you have absolutely NO feelings whatsoever and that it is PURELY platonic despite harbouring the most intense feelings for this guy sigh…😟 but you know he’s only trouble and probably doesn’t like you that way so you just kinda ignore it.
But one day you find yourself in a random quiet empty bedroom at a college party with him, sitting on the bed together as he smokes a joint and you both talk and laugh about random shit away from the mess of a party going on.
Beomgyu nonchalantly offers you his joint and you, slightly timid stumble and admit you’ve never tried it. Beomgyu only grinning at you, eyes lighting up at that and insisting that you should at least try, saying he really wants to get high w you and that it would be so fun with you, saying that he’d make you feel safe, it’d just be the both of you you trust him right? You’re good friends after all 🤷‍♀️.
And so you awkwardly take the joint, doing what he tells you to do, a bit nervous and embarrassed and still confused despite the simple introductions. Beomgyu chuckling at you and coming closer to you as he decides to just hold the joint for you instead and places it to your mouth, guiding you in and it feels way too intimate with the way he’s looking at you as well.
It doesn’t take long before the weed starts to kick in, both of you taking long drags and passing the joint round and you guys getting extremely high off your asses, anything and everything becoming funny.
“Heyyyy, heyy gyu. What’s shotgunning? I’ve heard it before idk what is is thoughh. What is it?” it’s a genuine curious question your stoned self asks and beomgyu’s eyes widen for a split second before he’s smirking widely and raising a brow at you.
“Could show you if you want~” And you nod your head rapidly, stoned self just so curious and innocent, it’s hard for beomgyu to contain himself.
He cups your cheek and comes even closer to your face, lips very lightly grazing at yours but enough that you can feel his snake bite lips rings faintly on you as he smugly puffs the smoke into your mouth, his eyes not leaving yours as he grins, hand still softly on your cheek, your mouth hanging open as you gasp loudly, not believing what’s even happening rn.
“Come on now it’s only fair you do it to me too right?” Beomgyu sits back, and stares at you, ego a bit too high rn as you hesitantly shuffle closer to him, feeling your face drastically heat up and you take a drag nervously, slowly inching towards him before beomgyu’s impatient self sighs and pulls you into his lap so sudden and harsh you yelp.
You take turns shotgunning, lips faintly touching but never enough, your brain and the room clouded over with curls of heavy smoke and weed as you breathe heavily and your face is still so heated up, eyes half lidded. Beomgyu finally pulling away and stopping, softly giggling and asking if you get it now.
Your baked ass then touching his lips, running your fingers over his lip piercings, eyes crazed and babbling about how hot you’ve always found his snake bites hot and beomgyu chuckling at that, both of you staring into each others eyes and looking down at your lips that he finds himself smashing his lips with yours, making out intensely but sloppily for what feels like hours, beomgyu hovering on top of you as his rough kisses start to trail elsewhere and you can’t help whimpering his name as he sucks hickeys and goes even further to your collarbone and his hands roaming practically everywhere, him still teasing you until you’re pleading that you need him so bad and right now.
Not even a breath later and he’s fucking into you with frantic urgency, not bothering to take either of your clothes off, settling for quickly pushing his baggy ripped jeans slightly down and pulling your panties to the side, lifting your shirt up so he can see your tits jiggling as he practically pounds into you erratically, hips smacking with yours as he moans even louder than you the entire time, rubbing his thumb over your clit, still making out with you and smelling the strong scent of weed from each other, still so dazed and both your minds fogged even more sensitive because of the drugs, everything feeling 10x stronger as he desperately tries to make you cum on his cock and it’s not long before he’s coating you too and fucking the cum back into you, fucking whilst stoned so messy
Then you wake up the next day, trying to remember what even happened, freaking the shit out and ready to run away any second, nearly leaping out the bed but beomgyu only pulls you in closer, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist so you can’t escape, sleepy and stupid grin on his face, mumbling about how he hopes you don’t regret it and that he definitely doesn’t
“Hmm~let’s skip classes today and cuddlee. You’re so comfy.”
“You’re always skipping classes, choi beomgyu.”
“So what?! You still like me hehe”
“When did I ever say I liked you?!”
“As if I wouldn’t notice. You’ve been giving me heart eyes for ages. It was cute loll. You were so bad at hiding it~”
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jemmo · 2 months
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Making sense of love for love's sake: the game
Despite all the things i absolutely adore about how the plot unravels and expands in love by love's sake, upon first watch, there's some things i couldn't piece together, which @lurkingshan echoes in their post:
'The way the author was messing with Myungha and forcing cruel choices on him really does not track with a desire to help him find happiness.'
And to preface, this is not something i fully get yet either. I think i'll need a good month and a sizeable reading list of relevant resources to understand just what/who this author/sunbae is and what his role is and how he is associated with myungha. But as always with the best shows for meta (aka bad buddy), as a plot unfolds, you can always find a better understanding by looking backwards and re-contextualising what you've already seen. so i watched ep 1, specifically the scene between myungha and his sunbae at the bar. And i will talk about how everything said in this scene has a whole new meaning now we know the full story, but for now i wanna focus on that question that they keep coming back to; "Then... will you change it for him?".
When you watch the show for the first time, your brain follows the simplest, most obvious version of the story you're being told, one where myungha has been pulled into the world of his sunbae's novel that's being turned into a game and given the opportunity to fix the thing he didn't like about it; making yeowoon happy, and thus you just think the rules of the game are imposed by the author, and so when these cruel choices first come up, you see them as the difficult roadblocks that are nevertheless necessary to any kind of game, forcing the player to make an impossible choice so that the game can continue in a certain direction and its only after that you learn whether it was the right choice or not, or there is no right choice, it simply changes the game you are playing.
And when its revealed what this game actually is, at first i tried to interpret these cruel choices, namely the choice between yeonwoon and myungha's grandma, and at best i could come up with the concept of this being a choice between staying stuck to the past aka choosing his grandma, even though he knows that choice doesn't mean she's safe bc he knows the future where he loses here, its an inevitability, but thats the small happiness he knew before it was taken away and thus that happiness is known and safe, theres no risk, versus choosing to pursue a new happiness, a love of yeowoon and thus himself, which he doesn't know, he hasn't experienced yet, and could be risky. Its a happiness that isn't guaranteed like his grandma, but its a happiness that looks to the future and has hope in it that he can find a new happiness to pursue despite what has happened in his past.
And that fits nice, okayish. But then i watched ep 1 and heard that question "Then... will you change it for him?" And watching through the rest of the eps, we come back to this scene at the bar and each time we get a new run up to the author asking this question, either new dialogue is added or we hear a different piece of the conversation entirely. It starts at the beginning of ep 1 as:
"Because Cha Yeowoon is the only one who's miserable." "It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile."
Then a bit later in ep 1 we go back and its expanded.
"It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile." "Why? Do you think you'd write it differently?" "Yes, definately. Someone like Cha Yeowoon, or someone like me with an awful life, can also be happy."
And then all the way on in ep 6, we get this new dialogue.
"I don't like talking about destiny." "Why?" "Because it means everything is predestined." "Then do you not believe in fate?" "Fate and destiny are the same. My grandma likes to say that. She said life is like a written book, and how you'll live and die are written in it. (...)I don't like things like this. Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." "Really? Then Myungha..."
And while we don't hear the author ask the same question, I feel like him getting cut off like that insinuates that the conversation leads to that same ending point. All that is to say, every time we hear this question being asked, its like we learn more and more about what this whole thing is, what the game is, what myungha is saying he will do by agreeing to do what the author asks. And every time, we see myungha being more defiant against the idea of yeowoon being resigned to his miserable ending. He starts off thinking that kind of life is destined, and while it's miserable, its not something he can fight. Then he says he'd want to write the story differently, bc yeowoon, or even him, could be happy. He challenges the idea that yeowoon, and thus himself, is fated to be miserable, and opens up the possibility for happiness for them both, but doesn't yet have the means or resolve to do it, its like he knows its possible on a fundamental level, but doesn't see it as something he can actually achieve. But then we circle back to the idea of destiny and books, both of which came up in the previous quote, and seems incredibly pertinent seen as this whole thing is about a novel this author has written. Myungha talks about how he hates the idea that life is a book where everything written is predestined to happen, from the moment you live to the moment you die. He says "Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." That vile way of life he described before that he said was destined, he is now saying it can be changed, and that possibility is now something he's holding onto, its what he sees hope in so that he can keep trying, bc now he finally is trying, he has the resolve, he's trying to realise this thing, this impossibility of rewriting the life he thought was destined through the way he loves yeowoon.
And coming back to those cruel choices, given this fresh context, it made me think. bc this isn't actually a game that myungha has been put into where the rules are dictated by an author completely separate from him. He said himself, he'd rewrite it, he'd change things for yeowoon. And when you start to think of it less as him fighting against a rigid, removed system and more like him being a character in a story he is trying to rewrite himself, that has both the author and his own limitations, or just his own if you're in the school of thought that the author is some figment or part of myungha himself or his conciousness, then you can start to see where these cruel choices might come from. They could be myungha, the author making edits to this new story, imposing his own doubts and limitations on himself. When he says he has to pick between Yeowoon and his grandma, what if that's the new author myungha seeing this story unfold and thinking no this isn't right, he can't have it all, i'm not deserving of this much happiness.
And what makes me like this idea even more is that when we get that second choice between ending after 14 days or getting 100 days back at the cost of resetting Yeowoon's affection to 0, that whole conversation happens in what I think the bar actually is which is this frozen moment in time where myungha is in the water with this extension of a voice in his head that is talking through these things. That conversation in itself needs its own post, but when you look at it both as a decision to break up or not or a decision to hold onto life or not, you can see how the author is just this soundboard relaying the decisions myungha is going through in his head. The author's voice is his own, weighing up his decisions. And if he is the author here, it only reinforces that the person making the rules of this game is him. You can even extend it further to the idea of the debuffs, where he puts in place this thing that makes it so he causes harm to yeowoon when he's around, and its only by garnering affection that he can prevent it. He gives himself a reason from the get go to stay away from yeowoon and reason it as him doing it for yeowoon's safety, when in fact the only way to make yeowoon safe is to increase his affection, which he can only do by being near him. Its a system that at first gives myungha a reason to stay away aka not like himself, but ultimately says the only way you're going to make yeowoon like you, or the only way you can like yourself, is if you accept risk. And that in itself screams to me of a myungha writing in these game systems that are trying to encourage his own-self love while falling at the hurdle of his own lack of self-worth.
The idea is still messy in my head even for me, but i just really like the idea that myungha could be trying to fix this thing both as a character and game master, and that both these versions of him have these flaws that manifest in their different ways to cause the events we see. It kinda is the definition of being your own worst enemy, the idea that in order to work towards loving yourself, the biggest obstacle you have to encounter is yourself, bc we are the ones holding ourselves back, making all these rules that make it harder to like ourselves and pursue our own happiness. The voices in our head telling us that we aren't good enough and aren't deserving are our own, and while the things that happen to us can inform what they say, we're the one's reinforcing those words. And what this show teaches us is that, if we're the one holding that pen all along, we can choose to change what those words are. If we make the rules, you don't have to create a game with concrete ultimatums, you can create a game where rules don't control you. Instead, you make the decisions, and you can make the ones that make you happy.
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0sbrain · 9 months
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i think one of my least favorite troupes in tf2 fanfics has to be scout finds x and y are dating and freaks out/starts being openly homophobic towards them because "canon typical homophobia"
they are mercenaries. fucking contract killers. do you think anyone gives a flying fuck about homosexuality being illegal? you see, they are ok with murder and gruesome violence, HOWEVER they draw the line at two men holding hands because the words on the paper say it's a no no
he would probably tease them because, that's normal that's what friends and annoying coworkers do. and sometimes he might step on a line. but my dear friends. if scout was genuinely homophobic to any of the other mercs, im afraid he wouldn't survive the winter (irse a mimir). he would get snapped by a twig and it doesn't even have to be by the merc he was insulting. anyone in the vicinity would suplex his ass. son, we all suck dick here. get used to it
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carnivalcarrion · 7 months
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hold on wait im unable to Scribble rn but i had this Lights Out interaction in my head and i need to put it somewhere before i forget. Okay so the scene is Howdy, Poppy, Frank, and Wally are all having quiet time in the post office. just vibing.
Howdy: i'm going to say something harsh
Poppy: that's alright. we understand <3
Frank: go ahead, it's better than bottling it up
Howdy:
Howdy, near tears: you're all so boring i think it's actually killing me
Poppy / Frank / Wally: ...
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sea-buns · 3 months
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Forgive me if I'm a bit nervous about Gorgug this season. It's just that the last Zac Oyama pc was Colin Provolone, who was arguably one of his greatest D20 performances, if not the greatest.
Zac always does great with every pc he plays, but Colin was something else. He came out swinging with actions and words that were teeming with unspoken emotional baggage. The way Colin's presence affected the other pcs; there was this level of depth that I don't think I've seen in any of his other characters. It was understated and quiet in that signature "just a guy" way that he tends to be, while still captivating everyone instantly with just how raw it was.
Not to say we haven't seen emotional depth in Gorgug. It's just that, compared to the other Bad Kids, Gorgug's journey and progression as a character has been very... impersonal? Like, yes, he found his birth parents, and he found friends who appreciate him, and he faced his insecurities about his intelligence, and he navigated relationship troubles, and his trial through the claustrophobic bug-tunnels was a horrifically-uncanny parallel to how he's spent his entire life trying to make himself as small as possible.
But how much of that has actually changed him from the Gorgug we started with? I would agree that he's definitely happier with his life, given all the loving and supportive people that have been added to it when it used to be just him and his parents. And he's certainly grown into himself and become more self-assured in his abilities, even if he's still, and always will be, our anxious little guy. And there's nothing wrong with that. I've always liked how Gorgug was a representation of all the little things. The subtle acts and kindnesses that don't seem like much to most, but to some are everything.
We don't need another Bad Kid living in fear that their mouth could be shit-in at any moment. We've already got one-too-many.
All that being said, I just feel like Gorgug's personal story beats are much easier to sweep under the rug than everyone else's. He has the same soft and understated quality that Colin held, but they lack that extra oomph that pushed Colin over the edge from being just another guy in a series of dudes, to a character that the vast majority of us could not get out of our heads. He took someone who was anxious and softspoken, who ultimately never wanted to be violent— someone who is remarkably similar to Gorgug in many ways— and maintained that demeanor and core in Colin's character while still hitting us in the feels with character development at max velocity at every turn.
I think Zac gets better and better at this with every season that goes by. With each new character, there is always something that leaves me stunned in awe. And it's been, what, three? Four years since we last saw Gorgug?
I'm just,,, I'm cautiously optimistic but also going into a bit of a worry about what violence this man may inflict upon us
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zannolin · 9 months
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what must it be like to be a pevensie, child turned soldier turned ruler turned child again, coming back to the land that shaped you and nurtured you and watched you grow and find that you do not know it like you used to? you planted roots here, and now the land itself has changed. this was home and now you aren't even a child. you're a legend. you are mourning what it used to be, and who you used to be, but to them, in a way, you never died. to you, to your family, this is like dying all over again. the war stole their childhood and then so did the witch and then so did the kingship and then so did going home and now so did coming back. you used to live here. now you're worse than a ghost. you're history. you're a myth. you can never go home. aaaaa.
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whisperinggbreeze · 3 months
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"Has anyone here heard of a god known as the Crown Prince of Xianle?"
Silence.
"Where did you hear that name?" A voice asked sharply. It belonged to General Xuan Zhen.
"I read it in a scroll, and I was curious why I'd never heard of such an interesting figure," Hua Cheng replied smoothly. "It seems like everyone is in the know except me."
General Xuan Zhen scoffed. "If by 'interesting figure,' you mean 'pain in the ass,' then sure. Be glad you've never heard of him. Don't mention him again."
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51ft · 4 months
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(Bg3 spoilers)
So you know how one of the tenets of Shar’s church is “Love is a lie. Only hate endures.” But Shart is so desperately hopeful that Shar loves her….. then Shar goes on to demand DJ Shart’s “whole heart” …. Shart’s line to a romanced Tav that goes “please don’t call it love” or something or the other. Do you think this is something she demands of every DJ or another god’s favorite princess thing
(Coughs also something something Shar wants Sharts whole heart uhhhh um. Shadow Heart ???) (I am forcefully expelled from the stage)
moment of silence for every single dj in a loveless relationship rip...
I THINK THE IDEA IS LIKE, (imo) their worship of the goddess should supersede any kind of romantic entanglement which makes sense but i think shart is just exceptionally zealous (overcompensating, but for what?? :)c) about her worship and thus is super dramatic about it bc shes gods favourite princess
we have exhibit b nocturne who is So Normal by comparison
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akimojo · 8 months
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people love to use ffxiii’s messy development as a reason to completely shit on the game but honestly the fact they managed to sneak in so many little details in the gameplay in a way that reflects the characters and story despite all the miscommunication between the dev sections is just impressive to me
#was xiii horribly planned out and missed out on a lot of important feedback because of the poor time management? absolutely#does that mean you cant be impressed with what the game achieved regardless of whether you liked it or not? fuck no#also the fact theres next to no bugs (not counting the pc port because... yeah) is amazing all things considered#and the graphics still hold up to this day#the linearity is everyones main issue with the game but look at x dude#x was linear as hell too but it makes sense bc yuna had a pilgrimage to follow#just as how it makes sense for the xiii cast to not have time to stop and explore cocoon while they were being hunted by the government#thats why you have so much more freedom to explore when youre on pulse#theres not even anything objectively wrong with having a game be linear in the first place#and the people complaining about the story being ''incoherent'' are just... wrong?#they give you enough hints within the dialogue to piece the story together yourself while also not leaning on exposition dumps to tell it#and if you cant do that then the datalogs are right THERE#games have relied on ''notes'' to tell parts of their story for ages now and i dont understand why its suddenly bad when xiii does it#i dont like sitting through exposition dumps and i like being able to analyse and theorize about a plot WHILE im experiencing it#and a lot of other people feel the same way so its not an objectively bad aspect of the game's storytelling#you just need to pay attention and be patient and wait for the story to unfold#i went off the rails but ANYWAY#aki stfu#final fantasy xiii
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mikoran · 1 year
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not sure if ive just been shipping byler for too long but mike and el being in a genuine romantic relationship now feels like. out of character. like even ignoring all the theories about him being queer and such just looking at his and els characters and ignoring the romantic context theyve been put with since the start, i dont look at them and think “hm theyd make a good ship” it just doesnt feel like a thing they would do i cant explain it
#case and point byler endgame#anti mileven#byler#they were brought together by circumstance and became close because of it but outside the traumabonding i just#cant see them ever liking each other like that??#after being shown more of els personality and glimpses into her interests it just doesnt make sense to me yknow#if they met with season four circumstances with all the development and such theyve gone through at this time#i cant even tell if theyd be like friends they feel like theyre friends of a friend or something#maybe its just cuz we never saw them be normal kids with a platonic relationship and els friendships haven’t really been explored#outside of max ofc#but their personalities just dont click and it feels even more painfully obvious during rinkomania#like neither are acting like themselves it all feels wronggg#maybe some of these tags shouldve been said in the main post#oh well#back to the traumabonding with lumax and jancy its different because theyre both able to also act like themselves while going through it#with mileven el hardly knew what being a person was and we never saw who she was because she didnt even start knowing that til s3#the traumabonding was the only thing keeping them together while with jancy and lumax the characters also liked who they were as people#and learned more about each other along the way etc etc#mike and el were just close by circumstance and after growing into their own they became clearly incompatible#they share like no interests and would not like each other at least romantically if not for what forced them together#i shouldve just made a whole separate post with this no ones gonna read this anyways#whoops
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b4kuch1n · 7 months
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dip pen ink comm batch 4 complete! for Ezechiel, @ohwwhuv, and Leo :]
#bakuspecial#commission art#the grayscale for these were done on a train with my laptop track pad fksdjhf it was! manageable! but not desirable condition#that was before I got my new current tablet too... thank you my old huion. you served me well. Im so sorry I chipped ur paint to shit#ngl the texture on the new one's better off the bat. the grip's better and it has good kinetic feedback#too bad abt the touch buttons tho... I was confident I could make use of them but alas#things need actual feelable buttons again please I can Not tell where anything is when Im drawing and cant look at the tablet#my eyes are on the screen!! Im bad at gauging distance!!! please give me buttons I can find in the dark. please#even the old huion which has actual buttons I still couldnt use them. bc theyre not raised#theyre flat to the tablet's surface. you know what I shouldve tacked raised stickers on them I was stupid there#well! the more u learn. the more u learn#I'm happy with the current tablet tho!! buttons stuff aside it's nice to draw on. and thats what important. wrists dont hurt no more#almost said ''I miss the wacom eraser end" I don't. not really. every time I used that thang I was like wow you are so imprecise and blunt#litcherally why would you want basically a mappable stylus end but it's 50 times the size of a normal nib and you cant see where ur drawing#especially on a screen tablet. the dynamic there makes absolutely no sense#I can really do the same thing now by mapping one of the stylus buttons to swap foreground color to transparency#anyways. this has been my testimonies on tablets. in the tags of a dip pen ink post lmao#well! this is a late post I shouldve posted this before art fight. thank u again to that anon who reminded me#have a good day lads! we can answer emails together. hands in professional hands
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moreaugriffins · 4 months
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Dr Who: The Brigadier is a silly military man. He's stubborn, and unflappable, and extremely loyal to the Doctor and his men (soldiers). This man can deal with anything, like a champ. Water off his back, yknow?
Lethbridge-Stewart books: This dude is getting traumatised every single day and he doesn't get a moment's break. Anything that could happen to him, will. Will he cope with the trauma? not really. He's a resilient dude, but he'll just pretend most of it didn't happen, for his own sanity
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seraphsfire · 4 months
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my [correct and accurate] headcanon is that after karlach can touch people again all the companions line up to give her a smooch
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vyrion · 10 months
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the characterization of the goddesses from the brief glimpses we Have of them is so so so interesting to me.
aster's temple establishes her as pretty strict, what with smiting anyone who enters who has done wrong. in the same way that you might expect, RAFT, or at least the ferin family, seem very heavily tied to her, given the dreams that jay has (and drey and jayson, given how their eyes are also changed in a similar way. it's pretty safe to assume this is something that's common in the ferin bloodline).
the navy is very pro-structure, pro-government, etc, pushing for an agenda essentially under their watch, which line up pretty nicely with how the temple is structured. yet her answers to gillion about the pin, while lacking in any real tone due to the nature of the communication, feel open or in some ways hesitant (this is more specifically about the "not really" answer to the chosen one question).
in addition, the dreams jay has are about withstanding the heat, being strong enough to tough it out and find the freedom on the other side. the sun is something guiding and also that light. it's something hidden away from those in the undersea, something that draws them out and has them realize this is what the elders had been hiding from them? it's a source of warmth, comfort, familiarity, and yet it's orderly.
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micamicster · 2 months
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okay in the spirit of the previous post we are going to brute force me into sharing random scenes from fics that are either unfinished or never going to be finished! we are going to do this collaboratively (im fair and benevolent) but i don't want to give any information about said wips (im cruel and dictatorial) so this is going to be a blinded poll <3 vote here <3
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spearxwind · 8 months
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I need to find a way to scribble my bf in a way that doesnt make me explode (derogatory) so i can draw silly nonsense like i used to do with my irl friends in high school but its no longer acceptable to draw everyone looking like anime bc i can actually draw human features now jdjfjfjfdh
I also cant use any stand-ins because he obviously doesnt have a sona he's literally the kind of guy who uses his name for every media account and videogame character
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