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jackmanbj · 5 months

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happy wife, happy life

summary: your pregnancy mood swings are killing jack, he tried everything to get you happy but everything he tried fails.

requested by a lovely anon!💕

jack had just left the house to go get you some food, you wanted to stay home because this baby was kicking your ass.

jadore went with jack to go get your food so she could get some to.

stinka💕-baby what do you want?

you- i told you, canes.

stinka💕- i know baby, what do you want from canes?

you- oh sorry, can i get a 3 piece please?

stinka💕- of course

you put your phone down and started watching me before you.

not even 10 minutes into the the movie, you in tears, but it was to good to turn off.

jack helped jadore into her seat and placed her food down.

he quickly went to go get you so you can eat.

jack opened the door to seen you crying, eyes still glued to the screen, tissue in one hand and remote in the other.

“baby whats wrong??”

jack made his way over to you and wiped your tears off with his thumb.

“nothing..the movie is so sad though jack..” “baby, lets go eat mmh?” “ok..”

jack helped you up and started helping you make your way down the stairs to jadore and your food.

“whats wrong mommy?”

that made you cry even more, just jadore making sure her mommy was ok made you cry.

jadore noticed you starting to cry once again so she hopped out her set as fast as she could and ran over to hug your leg.

you bet down to pick her up.

“mommys ok sweet girl, lets eat eat?”

“yes!”

you brought jadore back to her seat and your both started eating.

“mm jack this is so good, want some?”

jack walked over a took a huge bit of your food and you just looked at him.

“really jack? i dont even want it anymore.” “baby finish your food!” “no! i dont want it anymore.”

you got up and picked up your phone and started walking back upstairs to watch your movie.

a few minutes later jack walked into the room with the word sorry written on his forehead that looked like it was written by a three year old.

because it was.

“read my forehead babe.”

you looked at his forehead and immediately giggled.

“really? i hope thats washable.”

“it is mamas, now do you forgive me?”

“yes baby boy i forgive you.”

jack had the biggest grin on his face as he walked over to you.

he stood on the side of the bed where you were, arms open.

you quickly got up to hug him.

“jack..”

“yes ma”

“i love you.”

“i love you more baby, more then anything in this fucking world.”

jack leaned down to kiss you and you quickly kissed him back.

jack started rubbing on your stomach, bending down to talk to her and kiss her.

jack planted 3 kisses on you before opening his mouth.

“hi baby, mommy and daddy cant wait to meet you, you’re going to be so spoiled by everybody, i love you so much. you have an amazing mom, sister, and uncles.” jack planted a few more kisses over your stomach before looking up to fine you once again crying.

“babe.”

“im sorry! that was just so sweet!”

jack chuckled and pressed play on your movie.

every once in awhile, sad scenes would come up making you cry but jack would always calm you down.

until the movie ended.

you were right expecting the most happiest ending ever.

but it wasn’t, in fact it was the saddest ending you genuinely ever seen.

and you wouldn’t stop crying, lord knows it was just the baby but jack knew it was hormones and the only way for you to stop crying like this would be for you to go to sleep.

“baby how about you go to sleep.”

you shook your head no then got up and went to the bathroom.

“wheres jadore?”

“taking a nap mamas why?” jack got up and made his way to the doorframe of the bathroom.

“nothing, i was just checking.”

you reached for the shower handle losing your balance but jack was quick to catch you.

“unt unt, mamas go lay down, you can shower later fuck that.”

“jack! i wanna shower now!” “no ‘cause you almost bussed your fucking ass, go to the bedroom.”

jack pointed to the room implying for you to go there.

you simply huffed and rolled your eyes.

at this point, you simply wanted to take your shower and relax, but no.

‘just because i was about to fall doesn’t mean im not capable of taking a fucking shower.’

you thought to yourself as jack finally walked into the bedroom to join you on the bed.

“ma.”

you simply looked at him before pulling out your computer.

jack reached over and took the computer out of your lap and closed it, placing it on his side of the bed.

you quickly pulled on his earlobe.

your nails pressing together slightly as jack whined in pain.

“give me my fucking computer jackman thomas.”

“yes ma’am.”

as soon as you let jack go he reached to grab your computer rubbing his ear in pain.

you took a look at jack to realize he was pouting and rubbing his ear.

“aww come here stinka.”

you pulled jack into your chest as he fake cried.

“jack baby im sorry.”

“you almost killed me!”

“dont you think thats a bit dramatic?”

you moved jack curls out the way exposing that huge forehead and kissed forehead before gently placing them back.

“jack your forehead is huge, i hope sarija doesn’t have a forehead like that, i was so happy when jadore didn’t”

“THATS UNNECESSARY! you know what, i hope they dont have your high. since you know, your 5’5 on a good day.”

jack leaned up to whisper in your ear “its never a good day.”

you push his head off your chest while giggling and jack was full out belly laughing.

“are you finally happy ma? youve been crying all day.”

you quickly pouted.

“im kidding babe.”

jack placed a kiss on your lips and you quickly smiled.

“im going take my shower jack.”

“take it in the morning, lets go to sleep.”

“fine.”

you laid down once again slightly agitated, jack reached over to rub your bump and of course you let him but you let out a angry huff

jack realized you were once again upset but decided to let you sleep and not speak on it.

‘im going to have to deal with this the whole rest of this pregnancy’ jack thought as he kissed your cheek rubbing your belly.

#jack harlow x reader #jack harlow #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow imagine #jackman thomas harlow #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow x you #dad! jack

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maimurariki · 29 days

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Hiiiiii may you please do a idolniki x black reader series Where the reader is a fan and when they are in her city and she cant go to their cincert cuz shes cant aford to they somehow meet end up swapping numbers and become friends and then fall in love (she's a year younger than him 17)

Not an smau just regular reading plssss

Got ur number

pairing: idol!nrk x fem!engene!reader

Genre: strangers to lovers

for you, the word “calm” was always an understatement for how you felt about enhypens upcoming concert. You were mortified when your friends cat had stepped all over your keyboard, making your vip 1 tickets disappear. The sudden urge to break everything in the house came, then the tears. You worked super hard for those tickets only for them to just disappear. You went to sleep that night, crying all of your makeup off.

Today was the day, the day out of this Month that you dreaded most. It was the concert that everyone had been waiting for, the concert that you lost your tickets to. You decided that instead of buying last minute tickets, you wanted to go to a restaurant in downtown la with friends that didn’t really care for enhypen or kpop alone.

You vented to your friend, but didn’t really care anymore as soon as the food came.

your friend was in the restroom for a god earful time, you were still eating your food. as you were about to take another bite you felt a tap on your shoulder.

you slowly turned around and did NOT believe what you saw. It was him. Nishimura Riki.

“I uhh… I thought you were really pretty so I came over to ask for your number? If that’s okay?”

You froze. Was Niki really asking you for your number?

You then realized that you froze for a long time. He looked a bit confused.

“are you okay?”

“Y-yeah…. Here you go.”

You exchanged phones, smiling at eachother soon after.

boy was this gonna be a story to tell your friend.

Hihiii! I’m finally back after having 0 motivation to write. I’m still not that good of a writer so any feedback through dms would be great!!! 🩷

#enhypen #enhypen drabbles #enhypen niki #niki x reader #nishimura riki #riki x reader #enhypen riki #enhypen x female reader #enhypen x you #niki imagines #sunoo x reader #lee heesung x reader #sunghoon x reader #jake sim scenarios #niki soft hours #enha niki #jungwon x reader

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yongislong · 2 years

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intimate moments + 127

wc/genre: 2,010k... fluff, domestic, angsty?? suggestive? mayhaphs. established relationships with nonidol!127. not proofread oof

cw/note: no cws i dont think but lmk! ty for requesting anon! requests are always open btw hehe! but YUUPP yknow what time it is my first 127 headcannons muahaha so here we go :> mark and haechan are in the dreamies post. i used and and like a lot im SORRY LMFAO but tysm for the support :") i was surprised people liked my other stuff sm! im quite insecure about the way i wrote bc.. i write how i talk haha, its kind of a mess. i wish i could make my posts a lot cuter and stuff but school is tiring, i appreciate all of your love lately though, this was all for myself and first bc i was going through it but im glad people enjoy it! sorry this is so long i just wanted to let yall know a bit more abt me! :D

taeil… cooking: GOD im having taeil brainrot bc he was on that baby show, and him ripping that crab with his bare hands.... sickening. bc UGH he is such husband material. imagining you both in the kitchen cooking and he's genuinely such a menace and you cant hear the music you suggested to play, anymore bc his smooching noises are so LOUD and suddenly the homemade pho you were both attempting to make while wearing matching aprons is on the verge of being forgotten lol. you finally give in after much name calling from him and let him press your cheeks together to give you a wet, loud smooch on your forehead. theres something about cooking to taeil thats so personal and adult-y to him. like oh my god here you both are, sitting in your VERY cute shared apartment, sharing a very nice bowl of noodles as the roses he planted now lay in a small mint green vase on your tiny dining room table. its something about the domesticity of working on something together, enjoying yourselves while doing it AND getting to eat the end product of said hard work, that he finds incredibly fullfilling. sitting across the love of his life. another thing he likes to do is prop his feet next to your right thigh on your chair and you do the same. you guys have your legs resting on each others chairs under the table. sometimes he pulls on the skin of your calf and when you complain you haven't shaven he rolls his eyes and seems to swat your words out of the air in front of him. long story short he just watches you ramble on about your day at work, until he stares for too long and hasn't realized you're practically shaking the life out of him because he never answered your questions about whether or not he gave brina and brita their fish food

johnny... sharing a book: johnny pegs me as someone who's super patient! maybe he's not bc... parasocial relationships LOL but in his interactions with everyone else, like that one jcc where mark doesn't want frozen yogurt and he was so nice abt it! but similarly to renjun, its nice to share something in bed but also both be consuming the same content yknow? he also seems to me like the type of guy who, likes to finish something before moving on to the next big thing WHICH means.... you spending about 5 months going through the entire percy jackson series PFTT. but its SOO GOOD and you both get so into it and after you finish the first two books you immediately both skip lectures or work the next day just to watch the movies and you both lose your minds at how bad they are TT. but yes its such a nice time to unwind! he loves having you lay between his legs, head on his collarbone as his arms circle around your torso to lay the book on your hipbone. he always waits for you to finish before he turns the page ofc! he also bought a little reading light that can be clipped on the the binding of the outside of the book and illuminate the pages in case reading went on a lot longer than expected. the bookmark that holds your place in the story was a polaroid picture of you sleeping HOWEVER it got replaced to a picture of you looking thru a glass of wine and it makes your face look all warped and funny lol. johnny always smiles when he sees it so its a good way to begin reading time hehe. kinda obvious but his body heat + his room + the smell of his lingering cologne on his sheets is chefs kiss, extra points if the apartment still smells like coffee from this morning OR the bottle of red wine he opened that sits on the nightstand </3

taeyong... customizing clothes together: GODDDD ya'll would be the most well dressed couple ever dude. yong is so creative, and i sense that he would want his partner to share his same taste at least when it comes to clothes and art! this isn't something you both do often bc... life lol but it started when you were cleaning out your shared closet. both sprawled on the floor, as you begin complaining about how you've both found pieces of clothing that you felt guilty about throwing away. then! yong suggests going to the craft/vintage store to see if theres any way to up-cycle what you've found. so thats how you spend the summer weekend. sat on the plush fuchsia rug in your living room, surrounded by denim, fabric squares, 80s brooches, lace, ribbon, etc etc as you spend the humid and sticky afternoon binging nana while you both sit in creative/comfortable silence, gluing and pining and sewing things to various articles of clothing. its SO cozy, funk music plays from the mini speaker you guys co-own and at the end of the task, you give each other a private fashion show styling your new clothes! he adores watching you pretend to model and eggs you on sm "y/n you need to consider doing this for real, everything looks good on you its not fair," this day is something that you both remember for a while. there were shared childhood stories, insecurities, dreams and you both were so much more vulnerable because there was something to distract yourselves with. the night ends in an absolute destruction of your living room floor, but accompanied with a cuddle session in his bed, the sounds from the ceiling fan and his heart beat almost make you sleepy, almost missing his whispered compliments and soft neck kisses.

yuta... hair: ok i know this is super vague but as a fellow scorpio who loves doing things to their hair, theres nothing more i want in life than someone to be able to do those things with! like ugh late night hair salon time with yuta, yup. this goes along so well with trust as well. i mean he's letting you cut, dye and style his hair and vice versa. i feel like he'd be with someone who's more edgy and this would be such a raw moment for you as a couple LIKE you're changing each other's appearances and its a time of patience. listening is extremely important as well and whenever you go through a new hair phase, sitting down at the sink and soaking up what the other has to say and practically baring their souls out while the bleach is very much stinging the top of his scalp is really fascinating LMAO, needless to say you guys aren't the typical couple, but it works. the amount of understanding and empathy you've both adopted for one another is lovely! and not to mention is super cute when yuta crinkles his nose, his teeth peeking out just a bit from the opening of his lips, because he absolutely needed a blonde wolf cut and hair is very much getting all over his face. in moments like this he doesn't think he would trade your adorable and super hot according to him concentration face. ALSOOO angsy, hot, jrock inspired couple photos are a must and yes, everyone on campus is jealous.

doyoung... driving: CORNYY BOOO yes ik, but guys? him driving, in that domestic ass button up and black thick rimmed glasses. he needs to be in jail bc he absolutely would be that bf to throw rocks at your window even though, yes you live together and yes its an apartment complex but, he wants you to feel that super giddy like, puppy bunny love again and he almost brought a boombox to play to play head over heels by tears for fears but... too much according to jaehyun lol. so anyways he loves late night drives with you. or any drives really! his favorites are a combination of picking you up late night from work and getting to hear all the drama whilst you guys eay in-n-out in the parking lot. and listen, im not trying to push the doyoung medical student agenda but... i 100% am and his reasoning for these late nights is because he's soooo busy! he feels guilty he doesn't take you out to nicer places and you always have to reassure him that anywhere he goes with you, is automatically a win in your books. its moments like these where he really grasps how lucky he is. oh wow.... you really do love him and it FREAKS him out in the best way. every night always ends sappy bc he's so GROSS geez. he's such a romantic in a way you would never expect. he's not cheesy or arrogant about loving you, and he never considers it something he has to do either. he just fully, truly and honestly wants to worship the ground you walk on. DON'T even get me started on drive-in movies omg. basically his cherry red car is your safe space lol </3

jaehyun... record swapping: tha music man muahaha. my heart tells me you both met in a vintage record store AHH, he saw you and his heart physically ached like when you see a pretty person in public, yeah but x 100 like he got the wind knocked out of him and he fucking drops, the stack of chet baker records he had on hand and his ears look like red bell peppers and he wants to crawl away until you rush over not like run but brisk walking? lol as you help him pick up all the vinyls he dropped.you noticed in between the pile of 50s music he had a limited edition vinyl of on of your favorite bands and that had you whipping your head up and noticing how soft he looked all flushed and dimples peaking out from the thin line on his lips. definition of he fell first but you fell harder ESPECIALLY on ya'll's second/third date. he invited you over to his house and requested you to bring your best albums. AND GODDDD the date was... truly when you fell harder for him. you spent the night swapping albums aka baring your souls and sitting on his kitchen counter as he paces back and forth in front of you as he goes on a tangent about his favorite artist. its like the world slows down and you both leave that date with a new record from the other and a notion that you were definitely falling in love with each other

jungwoo... bubble baths: GAAHHH TT. tell me, that jungwoo wouldn't adore relaxing with a full on bubble bath with you. and i'm talking like bubblegum flavored soap, bath bombs, dried flowers, candles, mood lighting???? its too good. after the first couple of times you've done it, he learns your habits and favorite smells as well as the right way to position you in the tub bc he takes up sm of it LOL. and if you're both tall... you make it work! hehe. but DUDE once he learns how to juggle this intimate activity LMFAO he buys stuff specifically for your sunday reset bubble baths OMG, like that board that stands across the tub just so he can set his laptop on it. yes its just bc he wants to watch disney movies and real house wives while unwinding haha. he's so sweet though, being all pretty with his skin a little glowy because of the steam coming from the water, his eyebrows brush up from when he swiped water on his eyes and his eyes twinkling once he stacks a bunch of bubbles on your head in a makeshift crown. he likes to give u bubbly shoulder kisses BOOOOOOO yes im jealous bc he's perfect and OFC he picks out the perfect pjs and warms them up in the dryer and sits you on the bathroom counter just so he can do your skincare for you </3

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gremlin-writes-angst · 2 years

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Knowing is Safe

984 words

Fandom: Redacted asmr

Couple: Geordi/Cutie

Takes place during the newest Geordi audio(Your boyfriend asks for your trust) So spoilers for that video. It is what I imagine Cutie says and thinks. I plan on doing another part. All of Geordi's lines arent mine I just typed out what was said in the audio.

Words indented like this are Cuties thoughts

Trigger warning: Unhealthy parenting, Implied eating problems, argument, non-consensual mind reading.

Let me know if I missed a trigger.

Please comment and reblog, it lets me know people like my stuff and encourages me to write more!!!!!!

Click here if you want to see more of my work and follow me for more!

Past

“Repeat after mom, Knowing keeps us safe.”

“Knowing keeps us safe.”

“Good. I know I've given you this talk before, but you still haven't learned. We were given this ability, to protect ourselves, and the ones we love. Others believe we just listen in, that our ability is simple. It's not, we are inspectors, we tune into a brain, and we will know all we need, including who wants to hurt us.”

This is stupid, it's just re-

“No”

You looked up at your mom, confused.

“You said you 'd stop reading my mind without asking.”

“I know but as I said, telepathic powers are to protect us. As your mom, I need to be in your mind, as much as possible, to protect you. whether you want me in there or not. Do you understand sweetie?”

You nod, whispering yes in your head. Your mother preferred thoughts over words, she says that they're pure.

Present

“You didn't always have powers, you lived your whole childhood without them, without hearing anyone's thoughts. You were raised in a house where people had magic and you didn't, not at first, not until you were old enough. Didn't that ever make you feel vulnerable, different?”

“All the time, I never had a moment to myself, she was always in my head. But it was a good thing, she always knew when I needed help, and I never had to tell her anything. It was a good thing, that's what she taught me, she protected me, and that's what I want to do for you. I just want to always know you're ok and safe. I don't want to talk about this anymore, I can't.”

“Okay.”

The oven goes off, and before you can ask Geordi, refuses the food.

“I think I'm going to sleep.”

Your mouth opens but shuts when Geordi specks.

“ Because I'm tired and you don't seem to have much to say anyway, so maybe sleep will help clear my head a bit”

“Ok, ill- ill sleep on the couch toni-”

"No, I don't want to sleep separately tonight I'm upset but that doesn't mean I want you gone, it's our bedroom, it's our bed, both of us just because, just because I'm hurt doesn't change that. Good night."

And he's gone, leaving you alone, with your thoughts, something you've never been used to. You look down at the dinner he made, letting your thoughts take over.

I can't eat.

but he made it for you.

That was before you hurt him.

But he still loves you.

But he didn't say it.

But he does.

How do you know?

He still wants them.

To use them.

No, he loves them.

Or he's just not cruel enough to kick you out this late.

He loves them.

No h-

Stop, theyre not breathing.

Shit!

breath.

Breath.

Good, keep breathing.

Eat, you forgot to pack lunch.

No cant, not hungry.

That's a lie.

Don't want to, not worth it.

Then go to bed.

What bed?

Your bed.

Yours and Geordi's bed.

Not ours anymore.

He said-

Shut up, why am I such a mess, my thoughts aren't like this, there organized.

You love him.

That's not an answer.

Your worried.

Worried, of course I'm worried, I'm always worried about him. He doesn't let me in, and I can't keep him safe from outside.

He doesn't need your protection.

He doesn't need you.

Your worried about losing him.

I'm always afraid of that, nothing in the world is trustworthy.

You worried he'll leave.

You shake your head and decide you need rest. You walk to the couch when you remember that he wants you in his room.

It's your room to.

You hesitantly walk to your bedroom, then back to the kitchen, then back again. You repeat to yourself to breathe as you open the door, you take a deep breath, letting the comforting scent of your partner calm you.

"Geordi? Are you asl-"

"No, I'm not asleep yet."

You take a few steps, towards the bed, looking at Geordi’s back, so stiff, so uncomfortable, you want him to relax, be happy.

Maybe massage would help.

You think he wants you touching him?

What about snuggling?

Even worse, you'd smother him.

You already do.

I didn't mean to.

Doesn't matter, he hates you.

He doesn't hate you, he loves you.

How would you know?

Say it, if he says it back-

Then he's just being nice.

no - he's not like that, he tells the truth.

He didn't at the pool party.

You didn't give him the chance.

Shut up. Just say it.

"Geordi? I um I love..."

Come on finish the sentence.

What do you love? Breaking his boundaries?

No.

Then why do you do it.

"I love you to"

See they love you

He's lying.

No, he not.

Check then.

No don't, that'll make things worse.

Only because you'll know the truth, that he doesn't love you and he's disgusted by you.

You enter Geordi’s thoughts, just to get away from your own, but you regret it. He's fighting with himself. Your heart breaks more, he doesn't know if he loves you, and worst you know he has every right to question his love. Even when you leave his thoughts, your thoughts repeat as your back is facing him, but not touching.

“Maybe trying isn't enough”

It isn't.

Then just stop.

Stop trying?

No.

Yes.

Just stop trying and start succeeding.

What?

Don't enter his mind, ever

ever?

Ever. not even if he says it's okay.

But what about his safety?

He’ll still be safe.

But why?

To make him happy.

But I'll be miserable.

And paranoid.

But he’ll be happy.

He's been hinting at this.

When?

He said you're too used to being in people's minds, so stop.

But that's my job.

Then stop doing it outside your job.

You need the break anyways.

You'll have more energy for work.

There are no cons.

Okay.

Then it's settled, this power is only for work.

#redacted asmr #redacted angst #redacted geordi #redacted cutie #tw: arguing #knowing is safe

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sebisrotten · 7 months

Text

I havent been posting in a while, ive been deep in the hole.

I never write much really, but tonight i feel like a bit

Been working on a pretty big wall painting commission, that kinda goes a little off my usual style in a sense? [ being the subject im painting its the deity ganesh ] im nearish the end of it and its been good becouse for a while they've been giving me a room to be in.

Living in a house in winter now feels weird, im used to be either in a tent or in some kind of squat or abandoned building really.. for a ling time now ive been living in a abandoned lectric tower without windows nor a door, water or electricity in the middle of the woods, and that was my house last winter too. I wished so much for a house and warmth and i just used to live at the bar that was a punk community of pilgrims like me.

But now

Its.. like i cant stand to be in this closed walls anymore. Im still in the middle of the wooda in the nothing in a village so small and so abandoned there is 7 houses in total. Yet.

Feels tight

And i dont understand why i feel like this.. why am i not happy to be in the warmth for once? And just .. crave the cold uncomfortable memory of where i was. Toxic environment of self isolation yet forcing myself to be around, all the days ive spent in those long tall walls of the tower on a moldy mattress smoking on silver just to make the time pass to be able to sleep

Ive been completely clean here. Painting, i can have a shower when i want, hell, i can even eat fresh food from the garden for free

Im being as lucky as ive ever been for the past years really

im not happy

I got sick for days with fever not being able to psint much but still be there painting something

But not for the passion

But for .. finish it? So i can go away

I can go

Ive been looking a lot a this little metal box i have where i have inside the burned foil from my past smoking

I feel tired looking at it, i dont want to go bsck to it, i dont want to face really my problems either tho

Ive faced a lot this years

Ive done my best

So much ive destroyed myself as much as i could, thinking more to not hurt anyone else anymore

Still i do it, still i try not to and learn

Still im tired

I dont know where im going with this really anymore, i could go on and on for days with shit, but i guess i just need to let it out somewhat, it doesent matter if snyone reads it or in the end i just wnd up deleting this or not posting it

It feels good to let it out there

Its like screaming in the void posting on the internet

Ive been wanting to make a comic, or like to continue, or maybe post my old ones but for how much i want to do i always manage to do only rhe half of it getting occupide in surviving and or the opposite really

My hands hurts now i think im done, before i cant move them anymore for days, fucking EDS is a pain in the ass when you gotta paint

#vent #im sorry #here couple of pics to forgive me

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sketchygainedyoursoul · 2 years

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Tokyo Soul summary ep 1 bc i cant rn

@paranoidpug frick you but there's a third series just called "Yandere" and the thumbnail is grian sam and taurtis as children so do with that what you will

anyway lads so to those of you who don't know my good friend Pug sacrificed her sanity for a good smarru of samgladiator's infamous yhs series. And her sanity, despite rumors of grian angst in the sequel series Tokyo Soul, could not handle anymore. So she requested for someone else to take up the mantle.

So i volunteered. Anyway here we go

Parts 2/3/4/5

Tokyo Soul e1: New beginnings

"you are now sitting" okay

Taurtis: *snoring and clearly sleeping* Sam: I think he has a serious problem *slaps him awake* Taurtis: hwhheugwauhway? Same: you had like, a sleeping condition

Why did Taurtis think they were going to disney land nooo ;w;

Sam: I know big cities kinda scare you so that's why i didn't tell you we were going to tokyo Taurtis: is there going to be lots of people? Sam: yes

what the shit sam stop scaring Taurtis with the concept of big cities

Taurtis: *wants to go home* Sam: we can't go home because were in witness protection YA GOOF

sam stop making fun of taurtis' chin

lads i need to slow down we're not even two minutes in

SUHSIWUSHI

SAM WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CNA'T READ JAPANESE YOU'VE LIVED THERE YOUR WHOLE LIFE MAYBE

Sam: I'm not japanese! Tautris: you live in japan! See? taurtis gets it

sam what the fuck is that accent i'm sobbing

me, who didn't watch yhs: *tearing up the room* WHERE'S GRIAN

Dom is so far the best character and he's had like three lines

please their fake accents are making me so uncomfortable ;w;w;w;w;

"<Old_Kurokuma> mm fresh meat..." WHAT

oh my god dom stop flirting with the old guy ;w;

IS DOM GETTING SEXUALLY HARRASED WHAT

also sorry Pug i know you want Grian angst but Dom is my new favorite character also I haven't seen Grian yet sadly

oh so Taurtis can't read japanese but he can speak it? got it

IgbarVonSquid is mvp he knows where the sushiwushi is

Sam, based off of what i know from Yhs, please, leave the dumpsters alone. no matter how great they look

Sam nobody wants to go into your dark alley just go follow IgbarVonSquid to your sushiwushi

istg the old man is literally an scp

Sam, who was the one who coerced Taurtis to go back into the alley despite Taurtis just wanting sushiwushi: "why'd you make me come back here Taurtis?"

why are they burning money this is some real anticapitalist shit right here

OH MY GOD THEY'RE BEING OFFERED SUGAR

OH MY GOD THEY'RE ON FIRE

Dom, when on fire: stop drop and rick roll

sam don't steal the fucking bike

Igbar is biggest brain

dom is top ten road crosser

Sam and Taurtis: Is the car parked or is it moving really slow? IgbarVonSquid: what the fuck is even happenign

halfway through the episode and finally they are at sushiwushi

Sam: Here's a moneys Taurtis: you didn't have to pay him

Sam: you gonna sit in it? Taurtis: I FORGOT HOW TO SIT SAM

why for fucks sake did taurtis bring a mountain dew and sam bring snacks to a fnacy resturaunt ;w;

when will they stop antagonizing the waitress it never ends

Taurtis: no don't order the pufferfish they might be pete's children! Sam: i would like all the pufferfish please :)

OH NO THE WAITRESS SAID FOR PETE TO GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN I STG

Taurtis: I kinda have a trigger when i see girls with knives (write that down write that down) Sam: *laughs* oh yeah

oh my god the old guy is back i hope this doesn't become a running joke

Sam: should we go complain about our food nto being ready? Me: i'ts been five minutes ;w;

Taurtis has raised dead fish? alright then

Sam don't eat a stranger's sushi wtfff

Okami gave sam a phone and did not give taurtis one remember this is coming from sam do not trust it

KIYU ARRIVES

DONT PRANK SOCILA WOKRERS (i think she's a social worker? might just be a student idk) SAM WTFF

oh my god now they're re doing it bc taurtis didn't record ;w;

it wasn't even that funny

yeah probably someone with the witness protection program at least

oh my god sam why aren't you paying you have 31 dollar wtf AND THE WIATRESS HAS A KNIFE WHY ARE YOU TORMENTING KIYU LIKE THIS

god bless kiyu

Sam: my phone Taurtis: our phone Russian anthem: *begins*

okay wtf was that ending? no sign, no end card, no nothing, just Kiyu ending her scentence and then the video restarting???

Pug you should know that Taurtis is treating Sam like they are good chummy old buddy pals once more, and i don't know if that was occuring at the end of last series because i did not watch it, so keep that in mind. Also, Grian dissapeared. He may have gone back to britain, I do not know.

Also, lads, if you haven't noticed, my way of doing reviews is a sort of live reaction per episode, but this whole thing is new, so i don't really know how to do this, and there are 85 episodes, so things are subject to change.

anyway, seeya maybe in an hour depending on Carl's decision of what i do next lol

#Sketchy's unhinged yhs summaries #but it's tokyo soul #my sanity was gone the moment i opened a new tab

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empanadafab · 1 year

Text

16/August/2018

koi’s attempt

masterlist

tw: this is a very sensitive topic so please take caution and read the tws/tags! mention of suicide, suicide attempt, mention of character death, guns

Three days. Koi hadn’t left his room in three days. Not since that night at the park. He remembers it so clearly, the images of Ciro’s limp, lifeless body haunts him in his sleep, the feeling of the blood soaking his shirt haunts his waking. Koi remembers how he could only watch - he couldn’t do anything - as the life left Ciro’s eyes, watching as the life they had was forcibly stripped away, leaving Koi a mere shell.

Koi lay in his bed, unable to move. He didn’t see the point. He couldn’t think about anything other than Ciro. And it hurt. Koi didn’t know it was possible to hurt so much - his chest ached and his lungs burned with every breath. He still couldn’t believe any of it had happened. It couldn’t have happened. How could everything go so wrong, how could everything good disappear in just an instant?

Koi tried to imagine life moving forwards. It looked lonely. He was lonely - so incredibly alone that he couldn’t even bear to think about it. If Koi had troubles, he would take them to Ciro. They would help each other. But now? The grief was all consuming - Koi couldn’t see himself feeling better, never. He couldn’t imagine ever feeling okay with the fact Ciro was gone. He never wanted to feel okay with it, surely that would mean he doesn’t care enough? His parents tried their best to offer comfort, but to no avail. Koi refused all the food they brought him. He was never hungry.

Koi was a mess. He hadn’t eaten, he hadn’t showered. What was the point? Koi just wanted to sleep forever, so he didn’t have to think about the grief that had him in a chokehold. Koi felt like he couldn’t breathe, he was suffering from migraines from all the nonstop crying. Even sleep wouldn’t offer any comfort. He was haunted then, too. The grief was like a parasite, living inside him.

Koi remembered a film Ciro had made him watch. It was about an alien parasite. Ciro loved that film. But Koi had remembered it for a different reason. In the film, the only way to get rid of the parasite, was to kill the host.

With a groan, Koi sat up in his bed, suddenly awakened with a purpose. He needed to get rid of this grief, this parasite, eating away at what was left of him. Koi could only think of one way to do it.

Koi got out of bed and staggered over to his desk, he’d need to prepare first. On the desk was his acceptance letter to the University of Buenos Aires. Koi, Ciro and Guido had planned on going there together, Koi had gotten in on a running scholarship. But Koi didn’t want to go anymore. He didn’t want to do anything anymore. He hurriedly sent an email, to reject the offer. Koi wanted someone else to have his place, it was the only thing he could give in this moment.

Taking a deep breath, he found some paper and pen. For his family. They deserved to know what had happened. With tears in his eyes, Koi scribbled out a quick note:

I’m sorry - i just cant live like this. I love you all, but i cant live without Ciro. I hope you understand.

With trembling hands, he placed the note on his bed. Koi then looked under his bed, to find the gun. He had to hide it from his parents - they were dedicated pacifists, and he knew they would go mad if they knew he bought one. Koi just wanted it for fun, but now it only served one last purpose - to end his miserable life. Koi reached under his bed, hands searching blindly, and they fell on an envelope. Hesitantly, he pulled it out, and saw Ciro’s name written on the front.

Koi froze.

He didn’t even have to open it to know what it was. Koi had written it for Ciro, sort of like a love letter. They were going to run away together, Koi didn’t want to be with anyone else. He clutched the letter close to him, hands shaking, and his breath caught in his throat. There was this tight feeling in his chest, preventing his breathing from being useful whatsoever. Any thought of Ciro brought waves of irrepressible sorrow. I just want it to end, Koi thought, and he felt tears well up in his eyes, spilling over and coursing down his face, his body wracked with choked sobs, before he was completely broken, sobbing and weeping on the floor.

He missed Ciro so much.

Koi hoped he would see him on the other side. Once he had slightly collected himself, taking deep, shaky breaths, he threw the letter in the bin, and found the gun.

This was it.

He knelt on the floor, at the end of his bed. Slowly, Koi lifted the gun up and pressed the barrel against his temple, the tears refusing to stop as he closed his eyes and prepared to shoot.

He wondered what would be waiting for him, if there even was anything. Despite the uncertainty, Koi was sure of one thing - anywhere would be better than here, if he couldn’t be with Ciro. At least there was a tiny bit of hope for what was to come.

Koi pressed the gun harder against his temple. Why was this so hard? What was he scared of? He bit down on the inside of his cheek as he rested his finger over the trigger. Koi took one last deep breath, and counted down to ease his nerves.

3….

2…..

Koi’s phone started to ring, startling him beyond belief. Whatever, he thought. He didn’t need to pick up - he’d be dead soon anyway. Koi let the phone finish ringing, before continuing where he left off.

One-

The phone rang again. Koi got up and checked who it was, just in case, he considered. Maybe he was stalling, out of fear, but he promised himself to finish the job as soon as he checked his phone.

It was Fabrizio. Koi had completely forgotten about Fab - the last few days were all a blur. He hadn’t even considered what Fab was feeling.

With a small sniff, Koi answered the phone, trying to make his voice sound as normal as possible after all the crying.

“Fab? What’s up?” Koi started, his heart dropping when he heard Fab crying though the phone.

“Sorry, i didn’t know who else to call… my dads at work, he’s not answering his phone and … i just..” Fab managed to say through sobs. Koi understood. He must be feeling so alone - Koi remembered Ciro telling him that Fab virtually had no friends, only Ciro. Ciro wanted Fab to be okay, he was always looking out for him. Now who did Fab have? They were both left with no one.

Koi took another look at the gun on the floor. Ciro was waiting for him, hopefully. But Fab needed Koi now. With a sigh, Koi put the gun back under his bed. Ciro would have to wait. At least until Fab was old enough to deal with this on his own. Maybe a few years? Then Koi could finally leave.

“Hey, Fab, listen to me… you’re not alone. This must be so hard for you, and I’m not going to lie: its going to feel horrible for a while, you might not ever get over this, but I’ll help you. We can get through it together.” Koi almost believed himself, but nothing could make this better.

“…okay.” Fab replied.

“Why don’t i come over, you can cook one of your favourite dishes, and we’ll watch a movie?” Koi didn’t know how to help, he just hoped he was doing the right thing. It seemed to work.

“Alright! I have a recipe i can try. Do you think Guido would come too?” Fab questioned hopefully.

“I’m not sure, Fab. I think he needs some time alone,” Koi replied, but he had no idea. Guido hadn’t spoken to Koi since that night. They had both gone back to their own homes after the ambulance drove away. Koi was scared for Guido, but there was nothing he could do - Guido was a reclusive drunk at the best of times, so Koi could only imagine how he was doing now.

Koi and Fab talked over the phone for a while, before Koi hung up to go over to his. He quickly ripped up the note he had left for his family, and made sure the gun was well hidden. He would try again in a few years. For now, he just wanted to get Fab through this. Koi didn’t need to, however. He was sure him and Ciro would meet again soon.

———————

That was so upsetting to write but it’s done! Koi does not deal with Ciro’s death well… thanks for reading!!! @fosh-star :) there will be happy stuff to come, if you have any questions drop an ask! I’m happy to answer!

#oc koi #oc ciro #oc fabrizio #oc guido #oc #writebrl #writing blog #tw sui ideation #tw sui attempt

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physicsfox7 · 7 months

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Okay. Same rules as always apply: you can interact if you want to, or ignore this if you don't. As always, I know I'm a lot to handle.

I've had good mental health for over a week. Things were going great, I felt good, was sleeping, kind of eating (still struggling there, but usually 1+ meal a day, even if the + was an uncrustie), didn't have any intrusive thoughts. Then last night I could feel the spiral coming on, and for the dumbest trigger imaginable. For a totally irrational and juvenile and stupid reason. Which makes it even worse really.

It doesn't help that I may be getting sick, or I may already be sick. Not sure, and not sure where that might be going, but I know its not helping.

I mentioned recently that my friends are everything, my heart and soul. But probably 3 or 4 times a week I think to myself: "Wouldnt it be easier, safer, less hurtful if you just...didn't? Let your friends go, they were probably at least as happy when you weren't around. You can drift away from them, let the distance get wider, and you dont have to hurt anymore."

I dont mean friends like we talk once every few weeks or exchange letters or whatever. I mean the friends I can barely go a day without talking to them, the ones that I seek out to say hello to. If I leave, they wont notice for long, and I wont lay awake at night wondering if I said something wrong, if they havent said hi because they're mad at me, if this is all a colossal fuck up and they're screwing with me. Because it has happened. To me. Multiple times.

I guess I didn't realize just how much I let certain people in. Which is stupid, right? Because how can someone be so out of touch they didnt see the 6 foot layer of bullshit come down?

So, what if I didn't? What if I went back to just me and my partner, and my thoughts? How long before I crack in half? How long before I decide I cant handle it, I cant be that alone. I was able to do it once, when I was so much stronger. But I lay awake at night, after the first wave has passed, in a cold sweat. And my mind says you could stop the anxiety if you just get cold again.

I spent 10 years working. I know, I know. Everyone has had a job, has dedicated themselves to it. It was nearly all I had. In my family, you get up and you do your chores, then you go to work. When you get home, you make sure nobody else needs help with their stuff. If you're lucky, after exhausting yourself in manual labor for 12 or 14 hours a day, you can watch tv until your eyelids feel like iron. I cant tell you how many nights I fell asleep on the couch. The last time I went on "vacation", I had to help put a new roof on my parents house. When I was a teen and wed go visit family in NY, there were always chores. Mow the lawn, repaint the fence, redrywall your aunts house, put new decking down. Work was all I knew. Much to my surprise, people didnt do all of this all the time. They had downtime, they had reasonable hours, they had the ability to say no.

Thats another one. Saying no. Seems easy, right? I can type it to myself all day long. If I told my parents no about work, or side work, or any chore that fell into my lap because my sister said she didnt want to, I was punished. In a backwards and manipulative way. Suddenly none of my favorite foods were in the house, my room was never clean enough, I had to do all the dishes from dinner because it just didnt make sense to run the dishwasher.

So when I say I could just flip the switch and become cold again, my whole body goes into panic mode. My heart is racing right now because somewhere, someone is going to read this and know what is going on inside my head.

The only thing more terrifying to me than making an ass out of myself in front of my friends, more terrifying than them getting mad at me; is not having them. I honestly think it might kill me.

I let them in too far, and now what if they leave?

I guess I can't let them go after all. I hope that they don't want to be let go of.

This was only slightly more convoluted than usual. If you're insane enough to read this, I'm sorry to subject you to what is essentially word vomit. I need to get this out, or it will eat me alive. Never really understood what people meant by that until now, that holding certain things in can kill you, can devour you.

I'm afraid of getting hurt, and I'm too afraid to be alone. I just need to not push people away, even though that is my immediate response. Just take a step back for a day or two, its no big deal. Then suddenly four months have gone by, and they're either tired of trying or didn't care enough to in the first place. Hard to say which of those is worse.

Stuck between a rock and a hard place, except everything is lined with razor blades to make it more interesting.

#mental health #word vomit #the thing that keeps me up at night #friendship #heartbreak #bad brain #hash tags are mind of like word clouds #part of me wishes i would just shut up #part of me hopes this helps me #anxiety #hash tags are kind of like word clouds #some day ill delete this stupid journal because my mental health wont be such an asshole #the best is yet to come #dont know how to say any of this to my friends

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princessland1411 · 8 months

Text

18/8

I have a very bad habit of staring at people. Today I just felt so weird in histo lab. I was just looking at everyone and making them feel akward. Maybe to end this I need to stay busy. Next big problem is TS addiction. I was really looking forward to her promoting cruel summer. But nothing happened, now I feel like I should continuously use twitter so as not to miss anything. I feel so depressed when she doesn't promote her songs. When she gets a no #1 its feels like a achievement for me. I feel like I'm part of a community and I am making a contribution to it. I don't know how to overcome this. Now, I don't like to study as it is difficult. I am not able to understand or remember anything. I want to enjoy only and get a dopamine high. I got piles from eating too much fast food. It is a no brainer, but still I get urges. I am not able to quit masturbation too. Its like I am highly addicted to sex and sexual thoughts. I have done many dirty things like talking on omegle, sharing nudes and nude sex chats. I have even pretended to be a girl to see boy's naked. It is very bad. I searched on internet to find ways to end it. Most of them say to be more busy. But I am unable, I am always glued to phone. I cant study. This habit is really progessing very fast and endung me. From few days,.I am feeling really lazy and depressed. Everything feels lifeless. I dont want to do anything. I dont feel like doing anything that is good for me. I just waste time on phone, masturbate and sleep. My life is in hell. I don't want to exercise, no phimosis strecthing, dont want to interact, dont want do head massage, dont care about my appearance, dont care about my studies or exams, dont even maintain posture or follow precautions for piles. I am not doing anything. I am deteriorating my life. Everything feels like taking too much effort which I don't want to take. Maybe I have made a very small bubble around me which is very difficult to break. I am really smeeling and looking dirty. I dont want to clean my teeth, shampoo my hair or cut and clean my nails. I dont know if its laziness or what. I need therapy. I am completely demotivated and going dowhill. I dint know I am so eager to loose my virginity. I want to stay away from everyone and only on my phone. I dont want to read novels or meditate too. I dont care about my issues anymore. Its heartbreaking too see. I should stop staring first. I even bought the eardrop but dont even bother to put it in my ear.

Bye

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ihateeverything101 · 9 months

Text

i want to cry. i want to scream. i want to punch. what the fuck. i cant explain. nothing happened. but wtf am i supposed to do. i'm not happy. this is a legit question, could i move in with you? i font think it's healthy and i would prefer to be on my own but i can't afford that right now and i don't even have a car to my name. i feel like i need to leave but it makes me physically react whenever i think about it, nauseous and heart beat racing. i left work early today because of it, i felt like i was going to throw up. it could be for a random reason but it is hard for me to eat currently, i fell hungry and my stomach will grumble but i am falling back into my old ways of ignoring those things.

it is ultimately you decision but i want to add you on snapchat, it is bold and risky but i don't care anymore. i have it set in my head i need to leave him but i have no idea how to do that. i don't want to quit my job but i can't move out of state and keep the job. i know id be able to find another job but it is so difficult, i am scared to leave because my brain is saying, what if it is worse if you leave? he isn't perfect but does make me happy in some ways... idk. if you truly want to know the full scope of things i will tell you but it might hurt you. idk.

let me know. i hope you got some good sleep and work goes decently. i love you. it feels kinda crazy to say that but i'm not lying. i love you like you were my family and i want what is best for you, when we're together i wasn't the best at putting that energy forward and i was abusive. i know you don't want to admit it but i feel i was. i'm rambling but. if we ever are together again or even friends, i want to treat you like the sun, the priority, and never make you feel any diffewnt.

i'm rambling and drunk and in a bad spot, i think i've decided to leave him but what worth more? my emotional energy or my actual time? i want to stay with him until i get my own personal car because that will make it easier for me to do what i need. if i left now i don't have a car or much money to my name.

now im feeling insecure,.. do you actually read everything i have to say or do you only skim it? it doesn't matter i know you have a busy life and i truly want you to be fufilled. i think we are soulmates, i don't want to mistreat you but i think about you all the time and i feel safe around you even though we've been apart for so long and i really don't know you anymore. again, im rambling. let me know if you want to know my reddit, i don't hold back there and there is probably things you don't want to know or hear abuoutt so i wont be upset at all if you do not want to add me there.

i hope you have a good work day and eat food and make sure to drink plenty of water!! 🥰🥺

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junosartsthetic · 1 year

Text

long rant ahead containing talk of disability, anxiety, suicidal ideation, depression, medication, therapy, family issues, and weight/food. I just need to get my thoughts out somewhere and i dont have any rl friends to talk to so im throwing my problems onto yall. Apologies. Please do not think you have to read this or force yourself if you are uncomfortable. Ill probably delete later anyway. I just need to get all of my thoughts on the table in one place.

Alright so I have a disorder called POTS, right? basically long story short my blood pressure gets all wack and causes a variety of symptoms. Now, these symptoms can come and go pretty quickly or linger for weeks or months at a time. But of course lately I’ve been feeling like shit almost every day and I hurt all the time and my body aches and head aches and its all in all just a not fun situation. Well, thats not the only shit on my list. Not only am i constantly lightheaded, dizzy, and super brain fogged all the time, but im 99% sure my anxiety meds are not working anymore. Ive been on them for a few years now and they have helped a lot but it seems like theyre not doing anything anymore. I have also been dealing with a lot of new stressors from work to school to my physical health and its also not helping my anxiety. So maybe thats why i feel like they’re not working but im not sure. of course, my depression is also kicking in because its turning winter and that means cold and dark and basically not good for my mental state. I also am on a bunch of meds on the moment to take care of different things i have so maybe the meds are interacting with each other. also, my weight and food intake have been all over the fucking place lately because these new meds im taking for my stomach issues. and now im hungry all the time but also feel sick because my heart burn is always flaring up and half the time i vomit up what i eat because of how bad it is. its just a whole mess honestly and if i seem off this is why. im trying to make appointments with my doctors to get myself better but its hard trying to work around my schedule at the moment. hopefully i get better and get past this current state im in but honestly im struggling. My grades arent the best at the moment and im also falling into the habit of sleeping way too much and staying in bed all day which is terrible for my POTS but also i cant help it because I feel like shit all the time. its just a cycle rn and i really really want to get out of it so bad. honestly i think i have bipolar depression instead of generalized depression because of the mood swings ive been having lately. it could also be med stuff or something im honestly not sure. a part of me wants to completely stop taking all of my meds to reset my body but obviously what would be terrible but also im at the point where i feel just awful all the time and want to feel better and not have all this shit wrong with me. im only 19 and yet i feel like im 90 with all of the issues i have. i cant do any of the things i want to do because i either feel too dizzy to do them or too depressed. and ive tried therapy but that didn’t help in the slightest, and in fact made it worse because she was a shit therapist, but i know people have said it helps for them but im too scared from that last experience. and i really dont have anybody to talk to about this because my family is understanding but not really supportive in the way that i need, nor do they listen when i voice my concerns. and my s/o is away in college and we dont talk much anymore. and i didnt stay in contact with any of my high school friends nor do i really have anyone in college because im too introverted to talk to anyone so i really just feel abandoned and alone at the moment. and it sucks. and ive resorted to pushing my problems on the internet in a selfish attempt to, idk. get sympathy? maybe magically get cured from my issues with words? i honestly dont know. i just dont really know what else to do at the moment. i feel trapped in my own body. and it sucks. and i dont want anyone to take this like im suicidal because im not. i was at one point but thats not what i want for myself now. I have pets to take care of. and lord knows my family wouldnt care about my reptiles if i wasnt here to take care of them. im just stuck in a rut. thats all. and i dont really know what to do about it. so long story short im hanging in there and tumblr is one of the few places i honestly get happiness from. so thank yall for being here because i appreciate it. but if i dont post often or spam or basically do anything thats out of the ordinary its because im trying to work through shit atm. so yeah. that’s about it.

#rant #vent #venting #ranting #about me #life stuff #stuff #anxiety #depression #disabilities #medication

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