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#i cant just find happiness from material things you know i need to figure out the problems in my brain
caterpillarinacave · 1 month
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I love Charlotte and Henry and they're super underrated. And I would VERY MUCH like to hear the headcanons whirring about in your brain.
Oh well buckle up cause literally all I think about is head cannons. Like, you know how cells replace themselves every few years? Mine have replaced themselves with head cannons. *Sorry it took me a hot moment to answer this ask, I was busy howling into my pillow whenever I tried to articulate thoughts.*
First of all, they’re very cuddly. They basically sleep on top of each other (Charlotte hasn’t needed a pillow in decades). Henry cant sleep well without Charlotte in his arms and Charlotte can’t sleep well anywhere other than Henry’s arms so it works out. Plus, they both do that thing where they jerk awake like the world is ending and scare the shit out of each other, so sleeping in a hug that basically pins them both down saves some energy at 2am. Henry’s perpetually cold and sleeps under like, four blankets, so Charlotte just wears summer nightgowns all year and wraps herself around Henry like a koala.
Naturally there’s an angsty side to the incessant cuddling because that’s just the way I role.
Charlotte sleeps with her head on Henry’s chest so she can always feel him breathing because, by the angel, she remembers when he wasn’t. She sleeps with a hand on his pulse point because she wakes up in the middle of the night and she’s still half asleep they might as well be on the floor in that mountain and she might as well still be desperately swearing she didn’t imagine his heartbeat.
While on the topic of soul crushing feelings of guilt, y’all remember from Clockwork Angel that Henry was the one who told Mortmain what a Pyxis was? And he wanted Charlotte to tell the clave that and she wouldn’t because “they already treat him so badly”? Because I do. And so does Henry.
(I’ve got a whole WIP that I love very dearly about this head cannon and this chess game hehe) There’s one random old tutor who goes to the London institute once a month-ish, basically to hand out a few weeks of homework to any shadow hunters who don’t have their own tutors. Most shadow hunters who live in a more rural area show up a few times a year so the clave knows they’re alive and at least somewhat literate. Charlotte attends them every month since, you know, she lives there, but Henry lives somewhere around Yorkshire so he shows up every few months. The professor is kind of a dick ngl. He doesn’t help Charlotte with any school why would a woman need to be so well educated? “Go on find a husband and stop worrying you’re pretty little head” sort of shit. Henry drives him insane because he’s a) some random kid who’s smarter than him and b) didn’t use any of the professors materials to get that smart. Professor Douche is constantly trying to get him to be wrong about something, or at least flustered about something and he doesnt ever do either of those things, and even more aggravating he refuses to get upset. (He honestly just assumed the professor wasn’t that smart.)
Charlotte’s a really good student of course, but she’s having a shit time with some mathematics and the professor absolutely refuses to help her with it. Eventually she asks Henry if he wouldn’t mind helping her with it, which he’s happy to do (once he figures out that’s what shes actually asking lol.)
Charlotte is incredibly distracted the entire time by Henry’s freckles (and eyes. And hands. And the way his hair curls on the nape of his neck. And the spots of gold and green in his hazel eyes that flashed as bright as the sun when the light catches them. And-), but they get through it in an hour or two which leaves them alone in a deserted wing of the institute. They end up playing a game chess. Charlottes a decent player and thought since Henry had never showed any interest in chess it would be a probably be an evenly matched game. She didn’t know what hit her. He beat her in like, eight minutes, eighty percent of which were spent on the last two moves by Charlotte who, upon realizing she was fucked, spent five minutes staring at the board trying to figure out when he even started beating her. She was sitting there having a whole crisis, (she’d been distracted by a man who probably doesn’t like her, and certainly doesn’t think much of her now after a pathetic loss like that and now she’ll have to sit hear and wallow in failure-) just preparing for him to start that whole smug gloating thing men do when they win and Henry you know. Didn’t. He just put the pieces away and thanked her for the game, in that very genuine way, with the gloomy London evening light casting a depressing shadow across the room, a shadow that he stood out against all gentle, kind, bright and brimming with a sort of barely contained passion. If Charlotte had ever doubted that shadow hunters had come from straight angels then sitting there, looking at a boy stained in soot, who she loved more than anything else to walk the earth, she would never doubt it again.
(It wasn’t until after Henry won and noticed Charlotte hadn’t said anything in a while that he remember people don’t like losing. Honestly he was playing just to be around her and he would have thrown the game if he could conceptualize how to do that on the fly. They spent like five minutes in autistic silence waiting for the other to stand up and declare newfound hatred.)
In true British fashion the a modern tea bag would kill them both.
When they were both 13 or 14 Charlotte mentioned she was dreading winter because it’s so bleak and dark (and her mom had died a few winters before, though she didn’t drop that in casual conversation). Anyways, come winter Henry brought her a marigold preserved in something like resin. She kept it in her jewelry box for years and after they got married she found out he had literally dozens of them. Whenever he came across a particularly bright flower he preserved it and set it aside. He was never quite brave enough to give them to her pre-TID, but he now leaves them for her when she’s particularly sad or stressed. She keeps them all in a drawer- they fit together like little tiles, and still look as fresh as they would had they just been plucked from the ground.
Somewhat surprisingly Henry doesn’t really lose stuff, with the singular exception being his own medical equipment. He’s lost the leg braces he wears every single day of his life before. Charlotte’s not usually speechless but she wasn’t sure what to say to that one.
Henry gave Charlotte a watch with a hands and numbers that can glow the same way a modern day one would. It’s absolutely beautiful, durable and accurate, even if Henry set himself on fire at least four times making it. (They can say with confidence that that watch is fireproof)
—-
Honestly, I could go on and on, then on some more, but technically I’m supposed to be writing a paper on gut micro biomes that’s due tomorrow, so I figured I’d cut myself of. In conclusion, I love them dearly, they love each-other dearly, they deserve the world, all I can think about is them, and the world can pry them out of my cold dead hands.
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mojavepumpkin · 24 days
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"so we beat on, like boats against the current. borne back ceaselessly into the past." (cliche, i know but i can't get over that line)
sunday, march 3rd
haven't written in a while, haven't had my computer in a while. left it home when we went to fernandina. it was a good weekend. i was on my phone more than i'd like to have been, the weather was worse than i'd have liked it to have been. still managed to walk 12ish miles, all in all. the weather wasnt so bad when it wasnt raining. cooler than normal, especially sunday. saturday was nicer, walked 9 miles. had a conversation with a man in a silly hat selling free advice. he was nice but i dont feel all that helped, i still appreciate the conversation.
i am disturbed by my lack of preparedness for this literary thing. i have no idea what's going on, what im really doing, who even is running it. oh well, it can only help me i spose. or i could embarrass myself, but i guess i shouldnt get too hung up on that.
i might be getting a new car, or should i say, old truck. which is exciting. this summer. my car is the most expensive out of all of our cars, it was originally mom's and she gave it to me. the insurance is super high, so once we pay it off (in june), we can sell it and get something thats cheaper for me. it just so happens that i have a cheap taste in cars- or trucks. anyway, i hope we'll be able to find a 1998-2011 ford ranger. a tiny little truck for lil ole me.
anyway. im considering deleting youtube. it's tough. it's definitely my most used social media, and i can say 100% that it has made me better and more informed. if you can call it social media. but its also a big "crutch". eating food? watch youtube. getting ready in the morning? watch youtube. cleaning my room? watch youtube (this one is more understandable.)
given it more thought. i will delete it as an experiment. i think i need to learn how to practice mindfulness instead of consuming content every waking moment of my life. i need a book on it, maybe. definitely.
my mind feels very busy at the moment. let me think. the tv is very loud. i feel very hot. my room is dirty. okay. breathe.
what will happen tomorrow? anything of note? not that i can think of, i might make plans. that could be nice. i like keeping myself busy. i wish i could've figured out plans with J today, but nothing materialized - i just went outside by myself. i haven't read very much. but i haven't been on my phone very much. so i guess i've been doing things. i dont have any homework due. i dont have work tomorrow. i should be happy. i need to return a book to the library, and i cant think of anything else i need to do.
tomorrow might be a good day to walk. i'll speak to some folks. i'm trying to incorporate some more southernness into my speaking voice. idk, i'd like to feel like my voice is some kind of connection to the place from which i originate. i tried so hard to get rid of it, now i dont have it all and want it back. thats life.
despite not having known him for very long or very intimately i see a lot of my grandfather in myself. he has become sort of a kindred spirit i spose, for myself. maybe i do believe in the afterlife, i can still kind of feel him. maybe thats the afterlife we get, the feeling we leave with people. even though he isnt my biological grandfather, he was the only grandfather i knew on that side of my family that i ever knew. and now is certainly the only positive father like figure there. maybe all of those parts of him that are in me now are like little shrines i've built so that he can live on. our love of johnny cash, western movies, ford rangers, and straight-edge shaving. maybe i should start fishing more seriously, honestly i've thought about it often. i'd like to go fishing with a buddy. i just need a pole and some know-how, or my friend being the know-how could work too. i love him very much now, even though he is somewhat of a stranger to me. he loved my grandma, i can see that. i read one of their letters and was moved to tears. life is something incredible.
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bellybiologist · 2 months
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Commission Price changes coming soon (Next month)
Okay, I've been putting it off on the rare chance i'd somehow materialize 500 more dollars a month from patreon or something, but I think it's time to bite the bullet and increase my commission prices again. This is because of these reasons:
At the moment, I'm barely breaking even, and the winter bill increases and problems-that-needs-addressing in the past few months have made it impossible to actually save money.
I'm drawing as physically and as mentally quickly possible. I'm trying to not to push myself into burnout or physically hurting myself, but im always teetering on this edge. I find myself constantly apologizing for going so slowly, and wish I could draw faster and just knock several things out of the park every week, but that would definitely cost me in some way that may not be recoverable… or at the very least cost a lot in product quality! And I want to make sure you guys are happy with your pieces!
As it stands, my patreon hasn't been able to gain the traction it needed to keep me afloat. Which is ultimately fine, but I have to compensate with a commission price increase since that seems to be where a lot of people's interests are falling these paste few months.
Prices have not been finalized, but I'm debating between several methods of price increasing. Such as:
A flat percentage increase across the board. Easiest to implement.
A large increase in the 1st figure's price, to account for correspondence and adjustment work that often makes commissions take longer. ie. $100 for a figure, then $60 for subsequent ones of the same size in the same piece.
Removing the WIP phase for commissions, and offering a pricier bracket that allows that back and forth correspondence. YCHs will be getting a price increase for this too, though it'd still be lower than the current normal figures. This will allow much faster completion of commissions.
Please let me know any thoughts about these! Feedback pertaining to what would still be attractive to you would be useful while I ponder my options.
I unfortunately cant let myself ruminate on this for too long cuz the bills will not wait on my indecision! So I'm aiming to have a final decision within the next week, and for w/e decision I have to be active by february 14th.
If you want pieces using the current prices, feel free to jump on the list between now and than, even if you're already waiting on a piece. To avoid possible insanity, I will allow a single customer to have a max of 4 figures on the list at a time before the price change, whether its all one big piece, or 4 individual ones. Ones already on the list are free to alter or add their orders, too, since i've already been doing that anyway! These updates will be reflected on the commission form as well.
As always, thanks to everyone and their continued support!
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bye-bye-firefly · 6 months
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do you worry about your characterisations of fics being ooc? esp w fics like nameless. where do you draw the line?
I've been wanting to write fanfic but every time I try to write an au that requires modification of characterisatiin, I keep getting really worried that I'm too ooc
the way you have to get ahead of that is to study the SHIT out of the characters, which is what i do. and then you have to regularly go back to the source material, which i really REALLY need to do at this point
you also have to be aware of circumstances that might alter character behaviour. so kokichi being the way he is would not be the same the second he is taken out of a killing game. hes fighting for his life and he would not behave the same if he wasnt, which is why i tend to put him in situations where hes fighting for his life because it means that hes going to behave nearly the same but with my own twist
and this is also something that you have to realise; the way YOU see the character will completely alter your writings of them. this is why you get the character study out but even WITH the character study, these characters are going through you as a filter. you can decide how they would act and what they need to say or do to progress the story, but ultimately, the only reason shuichi behaves the way he does in nameless is because i wanted to drive up his fear of the truth up to a fucking MILLION. he would not behave that way in canon and i KNOW THIS but i want him to be so guilty, so scared of the truth, so scared of an eventual reality he cannot run from.
one thing that i also think is important to talk about is that these characters, once in your grasp, are no longer people, though you must puppet them to have them act like people. they are TOOLS. things get a lot easier when you think of your characters as tools within a story that are only there to make the plot push forward or to exercise a point. this still goes hand in hand with characterisation because i cant very well cut a piece of wood with a screwdriver. every interaction causes ripple effects causes new subplots that you will have to deal with causes BEAUTIFUL STORYTELLING!
sometimes you really do have to stop yourself after reading something back and go He would not fucking say that and erase it and sometimes erase a whole section. and it sucks. but that is sometimes what you must do to be happy with what youve written
AND FINALLY! because i feel like this might also become a problem and i love talking about writing and characters. when it comes to shit like the characters just running off the page and doing whatever the fuck they want, when this happens, you have to figure out what happened here what caused them to do something different. was it something someone said? was it something someone did? was it something NO ONE did? read through and find a path because there is always a path. sometimes you might even like the characters running away together anyway i know ive run into that, but that does mean that you have to be prepared to change the story if thats so. and for people like me who fly on the seat of their pants thats easy but for people who PLAN this shit completely out....Might be an issue .
so in short: STUDY! YOUR! CHARACTERS! and dont be afraid of creating subplots because people love subplots. your characters are TOOLS not PEOPLE. telling you where i draw the line is difficult because it really is a case-by-case basis and that is dependent on my view of the characters, which could be accurate in some spots and inaccurate in others
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undeaddevildom · 2 years
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The Brothers Playing Minecraft
I don't know what this is i just zoned out for two hours and this is the aftermath. Sorry this is borderline incomprehensible I am sick in the head 👍
Unedited rip
ps I named them with their usernames :)
Luc1fer_
aw hell nah who got peepaw on the minecraft server
Only plays when asked and even then its not certain that he will join.
Probably takes all his brothers begging to get him online.
Not as fast a learner of the mechanics as his brothers and refuses to admit that he needs help figuring some things out.
But in the rare moments that everyone is playing together WITHOUT trying to tear each other apart? Hes soft </3
Nice house. Likes building more than anything else.
Probably considered getting the soundtrack vinyl but it doesn't come pre cursed… hm...
Has three dogs and they're all named Cerberus.
Was given good armor and gear by Levi specifically because Mammon figured out where he lived.
Well who else is gonna have some big fancy gothic mansion -_-
Secretly wishes he could play with his brothers more… he'd rather die than admit that though.
The only reason he has any deaths is because at the start Satan beat him to death with a stick a few times.
Achievement hunter. Him and Levi team up to complete them all.
His skin is of himself (Asmo made it) he thinks its cute… also will never admit that either.
wither rose stan. enjoyed when the wither blew up some of Beels farms because the mobs dropped a lot of them.
He loves his brothers and if playing with them for just a little while will make them happy and he has spare time? He'll be there.
Songs I think he'd like: Strad, Blind Spots, Ballad of the Cats
Biome(s) I think he'd like: Mountains
Dimension I think he'd like: End
xX_Mamm0ney_Xx
???are you a fucking mole?????
This mans strip mines WILL collide with yours. and he WILL find his way to your base with them.
Say goodbye to your valuables.
Went through four bases before going underground.
NOT to hide from anyone! Just because uhh its nice down here! Yeah!
Lives in a terraformed cave. Its for the best because his previous bases were EYESORES.
The concepts were great yeah sure.
But he cant choose good blocks to build with for shit.
Why is one part of the wall sponge and the other part is dirt and BLUE GLASS are you kidding me.
Is really into grinding for resources. 
"Theres gonna be something good right behind THIS BLOCK- okay no what about THIS ONE- or THIS ONE- THIS ONE- and it goes on and on until its been an hour, his pickaxe broke, and his inventory is full of stone. 
Will sell materials that he grinds for gold, which is worth more to him than diamonds for some reason.
This absolute lunatic will craft gold blocks and instead of putting them in a chest he will place them all in a pile in the center of his base
Asmo, the interior designer he is, decorated the cave to look like a dragon lair. Mammon loves it sm <3
Has the most deaths
Grinds for valuable items like music discs and mob heads (fails 70% of the time)
Prefers parkour over PvP. He doesn't like losing his stuff.
Thinks he's good at PvP either way. He is not.
[xX_Mam0ney_Xx was slain by L3v1ach4n.]
Always keeps a totem of undying that he borrowed in his offhand incase Levi catches him lacking.
Mains an Infinity, Flame bow and he named it Tax Collector
If he manages to kill someone they are NOT getting their stuff back and just to rub salt in their wounds he'll sort through their stuff too.
Accidentally killed Asmos sheep and went on a wild goose chase to replace it before he noticed.
Songs: Blocks, Aria Math, Pigstep
Dimension: Overworld
Biome: Lush caves, Mesa
L3v1ach4n
This big fucking NERD
Thinks he knows everything because he played Devilcraft. Its DIFFERENT!
Is a speedrunner.
But he waits for his brothers to catch up because he sees that they're genuinely having fun and they need his help and he feels really important :((
Had an axolotl named Henry until he finds an orange tropical fish. Then he has Henry 1.0 and Henry 2.0!
Until he learned the hard way that axolotls eat tropical fish :))
[Henry 2.0 was slain by Henry 1.0]
[xX_Mam0ney_Xx: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT]
[Asm0baby: uh oh]
[belphiesnooze: oh??]
[L3v1ach4n: WHAT THE FUCKSJDGSJG]
[s4t4n: oh havent you heard? :)]
Has an ocean monument base that hes drained. Conduits for decoration and everything. The whole thing is a flex even if he didn't originally mean for it to be.
Decked out armor stands as decoration- yeah sure he's not trying to flex. Sure. 
Spam kills Mammon. Premeditated, unprompted, goes to Mammons house and breaks his bed and kills him.
Also griefs him. A lot.
Actively hunts him down for sport.
Is the reason why Mammon has the most deaths.
Doesn't tell Mammon where he lives so nothing goes missing. 
Sets traps similar to satans just in case.
Is ready to kill the dragon by day 2.
Accidentally brings the wither fight too close to Beels base so they kill it together.
He lets Beel keep the star as an apology for the damage it did.
Probably has deviltube streams for when he plays.
Names one of the monument guardians Lotan.
Recreates the entire HOL at some point.
Favorite biome: warm ocean or lush cave
Songs: Taswell, Shuniji - C148, Wait
s4t4n
As soon as he realizes PvP is on he's punching the shit out of Lucifer
Then runs as far away from spawn as he can and finds a village and ends up staying there.
Its only when he finally settles in foes he realize that hes not as far away from spawn as he thought
God damn it.
Sets up redstone traps around his base.
Also revamps the village and sets up a nice trading hall that he shares with Levi.
Lives relatively close to Asmo but not really. They travel to each others houses via nether hub.
Best at PvP on the server. Fear him.
Max enchants on his armor from his trading hall. He's set.
Virtually impossible to steal from. If you can manage to get past all of his elaborate traps and manage to get into his house you will be greeted with an ungodly amount of cats.
They sit on his chests to lock them.
But thats not even half of them.
You can hear him coming because he has 50+ cats following him meowing loud af. The sound of impending doom.
Him and Lucifer will PvP and the fight will just go on and on because they're both too stacked to die but neither of them will give up.
Bullied Mammon into giving him the Cat music disc.
His chests are so unorganized oh my god
Keeps all his essentials in shulker boxes and ender chests and whatever's in the regular, cat guarded chests at his house has just been sitting there since day one.
But he knows exactly whats in there.
His base is over a stronghold (only Levi and Asmo know) and they all decorated it together <3
His favorite dimension is the nether.
He loves the aesthetic and contrast to the other dimensions.
Biome: jungle edge or shattered savannah.
Songs: Haunt Muskie, Dreiton, Pigstep, and (obligatory) Cat.
asm0baby
Hang on he'll join in a second he has to finish making his skin
And downloading texture packs
And shaders
At this rate his pc is going to explode and he hasn't even joined yet-
Finds a pink sheep!! Its the highlight of his base
His builds are… there alright.
He can never get the shapes down or build roofs or figure out slab work and windows BUT HE HAS A VISION.
It looks better in his head...
However, he IS good at making block palettes and decorating.
Teams up with Mammon to make these JAW DROPPING builds its super cute.
They only argue 80% of the time :)
Gets paid in gear/tools/food to decorate his brothers houses too
Very good at paying attention to detail and keeping themes consistent.
Lives near Beel and has the crop farms smoothly morph into flower fields
RARELY Wears Armor. Has the 3rd most deaths solely because he keeps accidentally getting killed in his brothers crossfires. 
Says he doesn't want to cover his skin because he really liked it (it's him)
Is surprisingly good at PvP. Would be even better if he had more protection than just a shield.
Mains a high Power, Flame, and Infinity enchanted bow that he got from fishing with Satan. 
He and Satan have the most pets on the server. He was fishing so he could breed his cats.
Doesn't play all that much and has a bunch of unfinished projects laying around the server
But catch him in the club pulling a Levi and playing pocket edition, completely absorbed in it
Avid acacia appreciater. Insists that no one knows how to use it right.
Favorite Dimension: overworld (or aether if hes playing modded)
Favorite biome: flower fields or dark oak forest
Songs: Aria Math, Biome Fest, Cat, Approaches (Aether Soundtrack - Emile Van Krieken)
beely_bub
please for the love of god stop growing wheat
minecraft more like farmcraft because this man is absolutely lost in the sauce.
Has a farm for every edible ingame item and they're all HUGE.
Feeds the whole server.
None of his farms are automated. Hes doing all the work by hand.
As long as he has some irl snacks he will be fine, he actually really likes the game once he gets the hang of it.
Loves to explore above ground but doesn't like to stray too far away from home (or whoever he's exploring with)
His house is just a box. Maybe some windows. Asmo decorated it in exchange for food.
Runs out of storage space quickly because all his chests are full of seeds and food.
Didn't start mining until a week and a half in.
Levi noticed all the farms and then saw how he only had stone tools STILL and took him mining :)
Has crazy high xp levels because he doesn't enchant (he asks Satan to do it) 
"Are… are these baked beans??"
[Beely_bub tried to swim in lava.]
Is planning to build Belphie a cow ranch themed house. He's working on it- he just has to harvest this crop first hang on-
Has max defense armor (gifts from Levi and Satan for food trades) and mains a max sharpness axe.
Always keeps a shield in his offhand.
Wasted his diamonds on a hoe 😔
Whenever Levi and Mammon are spamming the chat with each others death messages he goes and breaks them up (more like gives Mammon a chance to run away)
Will eat when his hunger bar is missing half a point and it drives Levi crazy because he's wasting saturation Beel please-
Kills the wither with Levi
Also does a lot of damage in the dragon fight
Dimension: Overworld
Biome: plains or mountains
Songs: Oxyene, Approaches (Aether Soundtrack - Emile Van Krieken), Sweden.
belphiesnooze
...is this he afk or just ignoring me?
This mf CANNOT play with the soundtrack on. He'll fall asleep within the first 30 seconds.
Also doesn't care to build a nice house half the time.
His chests and stuff are all spread out around his bed and he doesn't even build walls around it. He's just raw dogging the wilderness like a freak.
In multiplayer he's probably basing with Satan or Beel.
Or crawling around inside Lucifer or Mammons walls like a rat.
Will go in your chests and spread everything out and make a MESS.
Mains a sword with a low level unbreaking enchant and max knockback.
Doesn't play too often because if theres not a lot going on he loses interest and might start napping.
Mostly plays with Beel, Levi, or Satan.
Sat in wide-eyed silence for 10 minutes straight when he tried to sleep in the nether and promptly exploded.
Beel had to console him.
He lost all his stuff :(
Despite keeping a bed in his hotbar like a maniac he almost never sleeps ingame.
He has a fleet for 80 phantoms chasing him down as hes trying to get into someones base for protection.
He leaves the door open and a bunch get in
Chaos.
Do NOT take him mining oh my god
He will bring: half broken pickaxe, Food that Beel gave him, maybe like 12 torches, and the bed that he NEVER USES. 
Has the second most deaths on the server.
Likes PvP even though he loses most of the time. Challenges Lucifer (full maxxed armor) with his wooden sword and iron boots.
Despite all of this he's the first person to get an elytra and absolutely keeps it away from everyone else. he doesn't even use it and hes SO smug about it.
Mammon is seething.
His favorite dimension is the End.
His favorite biome is a snowy taiga.
Songs from the soundtrack that reminds me of him: Key, Living Mice, Flake.
Bonus: most to least deaths.
Mammon
Belphie
Asmo
Beel
Lucifer
Satan
Levi
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yostresswritinggirl · 3 years
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Albedo. I just rolled him and finished his quest.
I would love to talk about travelling with him, or at least being someone who brings in the ingredients for alchemy. Someone who goes out of their way for him and gets the best. Maybe the only gardener in Mondstadt to grow alchemical roots and grasses.
I'm happy for you, rolling the cute alchemy boyo ywy I only rolled in his banner to get Bennett in five rolls I'm sorry Albedo, my primogems are for Xiao and Hu Tao- *shot*
Back to business! I really, really like this cute idea awww thank you for distracting from the angst fics in my head haha (TUMBLR DIDN’T SAVE IT PROPERLY AND SO THE POST IS HORRIBLY SHORT WAIT- FIXED IT WOOHOO)
Albedo's Personal Botanist
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Background
Most ingredients in alchemy usually come from ores and liquid ingredients formed by chemistry methods. Stuff like Tuttia, Bismuth, all that shindigs-
So while plant life can be useful for alchemy, not everyone recognizes its utility straight away, and provide for the common plants for arrangements rather than scientific inventory
I can imagine that you'd be a normal gardener at first but very passionate of their properties.
Might be a Dendro vision wielder too, the Dendro archon loves those who wield the power of knowledge, more so when they use it on nature.
You carry with you a lil book about all the plants and shrubs that you've personally cared for, down to their finest detail and properties. But you're a gardener, not a master of Alchemy, so some parts of the notes you couldn't really figure out yourself.
The first time you met Albedo, he was around a year into staying in Mondstadt. He was forced to go out and take a breather because of his workaholic schedule, and instead of relaxing in a bath, he ended up drifting to the market area to get more ingredients local to Mond.
Unlike the other flower stalls, he was pulled into yours because of the wide variety of your wares. Roots, grasses, shoots, plants you couldn't just find outside of the walls.
You were tending to your mini greenhouse in the back and left your botania book on the shelf outside, and this LIL SHI- Albedo, having no proper training for social interactions, straight up just opened that shit and read it all.
"Oh, hello there, mister- HEY, THAT'S MY STUFF, WHAT THE HECK"
Flustered, confused and alarmed, Albedo tried his best to quickly reason with your garden-spade-wielding self. And with his pretty boy self, you managed to calm down and listen.
You may or may not had smacked him with a bouquet of horsetail for good measure.
"Such vast knowledge and detail orientation, why waste away your talents in selling productive fauna when you can wield them into something more?"
Master Phytologist of the Knights of Favonius acquired!
Working with Albedo!
Your greenhouse in the Knight of Favonius HQ is most definitely connected to Albedo's laboratory! And very spacious too.
More than one occasion, you've seen the Chief Alchemist casually sneaking around the area, plucking a Flaming Flower or scraping dandelion seeds from the pot while you were busy tending to other flowers on the other side of your area.
65% of the time you caught him red-handed and you will be met with the rare sight of a fumbling, queasy Albedo.
30% of the time you just find out something is missing after checking inventory for the day, usually ends up with you hunting and shouting for Albedo. Because the guy seem to have a sixth sense as to when you find out his thieving adventures.
5% of all of that, Kaeya would be the one stealing from your 'safer' floras to woo a random citizen in Mond. And as a master of botany, your precious babies are always in tip top shape. Top quality bouquets all day, all night.
Those moments are the ones Albedo hate more than getting smacked with your spade. Those are your flowers, and by association, his. Grown to their maximum potential by your calloused yet gentle hands FOR HIM-
Kaeya: *reaching out to pluck a perfectly healthy glaze lily*; Albedo: *his short ass of a shadow looming over him*
NOW IT IS HIM WHO WIELDS THE POWER OF THE GARDEN SPADE
The atmosphere of your work area is significantly different from his own messy laboratory. The glass walls and roof that lets in just the right amount of sunlight, with a perfect view of the scenic landscape of Mondstadt and beyond.
When Albedo reaches a wall on his research, he picks up his sketchbook and just- waltz in to your workshop through the door connecting your workspaces.
The fresh air, the soft kiss of the sun, your humming, it was all a symphony of heaven concocted just for him.
He’ll find himself sketching your babies, dozen or more times you are included.
Your notebook’s illustrations are mostly courtesy of him, and he greatly basks in your pure admiration of his drawing.
To help him focus, you once took on the great task of organizing his laboratory, to no avail. Even if you manage to fix and align his inventory, it’s gonna go back to chaos after three days minimum.
It’s okay tho, it’s normal for him, more excuse to visit you-
Guilty, he wants your spacious and refreshing greenhouse and often asks for a redesign of his laboratory to share similar workspace with you.
Acting Grand Master Jean had to decline this idea just because it costs more than a million mora.
He’s definitely gonna sulk in your greenhouse after that, back leaning on the warm glass wall as he does nothing but sketch you and your plants the whole day.
Don’t stop him
Just admire the pout
Actually Working with Albedo! (Finally)
Whenever Albedo discovers/explores a new area, you’re always sure to tag along whether willingly or by force
YOU BET YOUR FROZEN ASS YOU’RE COMING WITH HIM TO DRAGONSPINE
DEFINITELY BY FORCE
I imagine that despite being his assistant/student, Sucrose and Timaeus are more focused on research and the application of Alchemy, so they’re not much of the resource gathering type. That said, Albedo is very thankful of your existence, it’s a breather to his already full schedule.
Albedo is both considerate and inconsiderate unconsciously : While he may run off to experiment on the traveler and leave you scouting the area yourself, he doesn’t willingly set you on fire from the inside.
Every time he comes back to camp after finishing the step by step experiment with/on the Traveler, he makes sure to check up on how you are doing.
TAKE NOTE: Our prince is very occupied and busy with his own work a lot, so he’s never really seen you in action when you go out to get the the materials he needs-
So he is purely horrified when he saw you hanging off the cliff with nothing but a rope around you to keep you safe, carefully investigating a petrified tree branch up close.
Suddenly, elevator.
Again, Imma bet, he’s gonna be accompanying you in all your expeditions after that. He’ll need to know where and how you acquire every ingredient outside of your greenhouse.
Does it require you to climb a mountain? Are there any Hilichurl camps nearby? Maybe mobs that are attracted to that type of flower?
He would be very attentive of your inventory reports and would recognize if a dangerous gathering journey is near. He’ll be right there with you.
Violetgrass x1000
He’s gathering more than a month’s worth just to make sure you don’t go back to make that dangerous trip. It’s very impractical, but let him rest his heart.
You and Albedo: Resource Gathering Expedition; Other Knights: Outdoor Dates Disguised as Work-Related Outings
Flower crowns are good and all but have you heard of flower bracelets?
Omg so cute hhh imagine a Flaming Flower Stamen bracelet for his Dragonspine expedition- it’s not gonna last forever but it’s so precious he’s definitely keeping that shit even when the heat already dissipated from it gah-
“Paimon wonders, what’s that thing around your wrist?”
“A flame bracelet, made to keep the cold away.”
“Woah! Sounds very useful! Sure would be handy for exploring, you think we can borrow it-”
“No.”
Something angst-y: Albedo has yet to make a Dendro affinity potion and he’s really, really devastated about it and himself. You’ll have to forcibly pull him out of his self-deprecation, force him to get a breather.
Overall, Albedo greatly appreciates not only your utility but also your consistent company. He values your tenacity and comfort, sharing unadulterated curiousity as you both venture the great unknown. There’s a lot of stuff he can pray about to thank whichever archon has graced you. And despite his Vision lacking the function to actually help in the advancement of his research, he is now thankful for it, for he has found with it a greater purpose: Ensuring the safety of his precious Gardenia.
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I CANT BELIEVE IT, THIS THING WAS 30 TIMES LONGER BUT TUMBLR DIDN’T SAVE THE DRAFT PROPERLY AND HAD TO GET EVERYTHING BACK THROUGH MEMORY, AND MY MEMORY IS B A D. I’M SORRY I KNOW YOU JUST WANTED TO TALK BUT IT ENDED UP BEING SUPER LONG AND LOOKS LIKE A HEADCANON THAN ANYTHING, MY FORMATTING IS REALLY LIKE THIS AAAAAAAA- I hope you enjoy ywy I like your brain, it brings good ideas and gives me good ideas too!
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solarsleepless · 3 years
Note
what r max's stims? :)
SHSHJSHJSJSJSHJSH
okAY yes i have many thoughts abt adhd max i am vibrating rn
okay so first of all theres the average well known "flappy hands"
but she really likes it when she has sweaters with longer sleeves because then she can just flap them around
leg bounce leg bounce leg bounce
cracking her knuckles. she does this SO often its unreal
she doesnt have many vocal stims but she goes "ba ba ba" or just humming and singing sometimes
also running her hand on the bottom of her skateboard, and/or rolling the wheels
just being on her skateboard and swaying is a huge stim
chewing her shirt lmao
im also gonna say that she also stims by pressing on buttons and other stuff in the arcade. its just Nice To Do
also stims by kicking off of the ground on her skateboard. very nice
well this is gonna turn into adhd max rant get ready
she had adhd combined (like yours truly) and finds it hard to concentrate in class
she totally hyperfixated on video games at some point
and comics probably
and skateboarding too
she is a VERY picky eater. like she could barely eat stuff in california, so when she moves to hawkins it only gets worse
sensory issues my abhorreeed
can't stand too-loud noises (b!lly of course knows this and turns up music in his car so that he can't even hear himself)
that being said she cant STAND the silence and always needs background noise (she and el bond over liking white noise from tv)
SHE LOVES TANGLERS SO MUCH
goes nonverbal sometimes because of the fear that if she says anything itll just make things worse. the party + steve is very concerned at first, then learn to live with it
WHISTLE STIM WHISTLE STIM WHISTLE
she has so many weighted blankets. she couldnt actually use them much because it was too hot in cali but then in hawkins she used them all the time
SPINNY CHAIR SPINNY CHAIR
undiagnosed
loves fluffy jumpers. she never really used or felt them earlier because of the hotness of california but when she was cold and lucas lent her his fluffy jumper...
well let's just say he didn't get it back
rubbing her hand over lucas's knuckles :)
i know i've already said singing stim but just imagine her singing 'material girl' or 'old time rock and roll'
echolalia! only sometimes tho
like erica will go "hey max me and lukie are gonna make a cake wanna help?" "cake?" "cake" "cake!" "cake!" "cake"
also the sinclair family is so accepting. they're confused but they just accept max and thats okay
once the party started looking up what adhd was, max brought it up once and immediately they all went 'that's only for little boys'
(which is bullshit obvs)
remember that sleepover scene where max is dancing? yeah that but its a stim
the party + the teens have a running joke of max being moth because she stares at lights so much. visual stim
she scratches as a(n unhealthy) stim but it gets worse after billy's death
hates it when people shout, usually goes nonverbal if it's directed at her
jumps when she's happy!!
you know how she just wears basic and unlayered clothes? yeah she chooses them on purpose because tight stuff feels Bad
she hates labels with her entire being
she seems like the kind of gal to bite her nails
also adopted dustin's "grrr" as a stim
"hey max- grrr" "...what was that?" "...grrr" "could you teach me how to do that" ".. o k a y ?"
will and max (i hc will as autistic) both have lil stimming sessions! they just notice the other stimming and join in, just leaving them laughing at the end!
lucas is super understanding of her stims
he learnt to recognize when she's understimulated and gives her fidget toys!! and if he doesnt have any then he'll just straight up grab her hand and start rubbing his fingers against the knuckles
i'd like to say:
*SLAPS ROOF OF MAX MAYFIELD* THIS BITCH CAN HOLD SO MUCH RSD
she wasnt doing so good in the first place
thinking stuff like
"maybe if i wasnt born then my parents wouldn't have divorced"
and stuff like that
(billy intentionally makes it worse because of course he does)
but then it gets so. much. worse.
you know mike said "because you're annoying" in s2?
YOU CAN BET THAT TRIGGERED HER RSD SO HARD
and also when el just walked past her in s2? yeah well
that didn't go off well with her rsd either
lucas has to reassure her that she's not a mistake, she's not annoying, he doesn't secretly hate her, etc etc
he doesnt think he'll ever forgive mike for triggering her rsd so badly
this has so many hurt/comfort possibilities in fic holy fuck-
lucas immediately shuts down her deprecating comments
like IMMEDIATELY
he wont stand for that shit
he is glaring so badly at anyone who triggers max's rsd
unless it's someone they love (like erica) who doesn't actually know what they did wrong and want to make up for it
once erica activated her rsd by accident
just with a lil lighthearted comment
"ugh i hope you arent as annoying as lukey's little friends on the walkie talkie"
once erica finds out abt what she did she feels SO bad. babey
she does everything she can to make up for it
apologizes properly when they're both brushing the barbie's hair
she finds out max stims by brushing barbie's hair when max has to look after once
so when she can see max is understimulated she'll just toss a barbie and a hairbrush her way
also likes max's echolalia (can you hear that? its the sound of max's euphoria boosting)
erica learns to lower her voice around max
max can't watch anything without subtitles btw
she just cannot
she'll watch it and cause she's smart she'll figure out what's going on
but often has to turn to lucas and go "whats going on???"
she loves the feeling of snow thru her gloves
maybe its the cold but still. very Nice
uhh i have more but i cant be bothered also this is too long already
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timextoxhajima · 3 years
Text
ATEEZ as things and feelings
@haechanhues​ don’t mind me just doing it again cause i liked it uwu maybe i should just change to doing headcanons LMAOOOO
as i wrote this, i realised the members of ateez have really cultivated a specific image for themselves (eg. hongjoong as a fashionista, hwa as the mom, yunho has a big bear etc) and so i really hope that these are at least some part of their real identities and it’s not just kq forcing it down their throats ;(
HONGJOONG - BOUTIQUES AND EXPENSIVE CAFES 
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there’s just something very sophisticated about joong, though he’s absolutely refined and clean-cut (despite that whole jack sparrow get up in their rhythm ta stage)
because he loves fashion and dressing himself up, he can’t tolerate how much you don’t care about the clothes you’re wearing! he knows EXACTLY what would make you look even better and what would totally boost your confidence and so he wouldn’t hesitate to drag you out to a boutique, whether it’s for thrifting or it’s one of those expensive ones like Dior
he’ll spoil you because he can, and because he wants to
he also has a knack for pretty settings, so that expensive cafe down the street that sells mediocre coffee but with a STUNNING exterior? he’ll bring you there just so you can be his photographer and he can be yours
you know when the coffee sucks but he still manages to contain his facial expressions and not hurl? yeah that’s joong being classy
the sophistication needed in everything simple and possibly disastrous
“i know the coffee sucks but look at our instagram now”
SEONGHWA - ROAD TRIPS AND HOME COOKED FOOD
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honestly are you an atiny if you don’t agree with this
it’s been about a year since i started stanning ateez and my first impression of hwa is that he’s actually very timid and shy and awkward when it comes to firsts
on stage is a completely different story
so i’d assume he’s probably the same in private, ie he’s aggressive and dedicated when it comes to things he loves to do, but probably a little more timid and worrisome when it comes to people/things he’s not familiar with, but that doesn’t stop him from trying out new things and setting off on an adventure!
you’d be the one to surprise him with an impromptu trip, thinking that he’d be happy to escape but no he worries about clothes, packing, the weather, the itinerary-
it takes you a good amount of energy and convincing to tell him to calm down and that you’ve got every thing down, so he can just busk in the joy of being with you in a completely foreign land
he would also be the kind to try grocery shopping overseas then figure out how to make do with the ingredients
he’s home even when you’re not back in your house
“i made chicken soup with a mix of... whatever that was because the lady said it’s a local delight and that it should go well with chicken-”
YUNHO - OVERSIZED PULLOVERS AND CUDDLES
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PLEASE this is self-explanatory no??????????????
a big, giant, fluffy, adorable bear! 
it’s literal - as big as his clothes are on you, he acts like them as well - making sure you’re comfortable and warm and you have your own space
i feel like yunho would be the kind that shows care and concern and sometimes he doesn’t really know when to stop, and so he figures out your boundaries just so that you would be comfortable around him
whenever you’re sad or depressed or you just had a shit day, he’ll always be there for you to hug or even vent your anger
sometimes you’d get frustrated with him because he’s too nice at work too and get trampled over and then all your feelings build up and there you have it, he’ll cradle you like a baby and tell you not to waste your feelings on things that don’t really matter
he’ll tell you he’s okay, as long as you’re okay
“please don’t cry, it’ll bloat your face tomorrow morning :(”
YEOSANG - PLAYING AROUND WITH TECH STUFF AND VIDEO GAMES
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he’s not the most talkative person, no, but that’s exactly what draws people. he’s always listening, always watching, but never really saying anything, and lucky for you, he says everything when he’s engaged in something he likes
he’s known for his stellar concentration, so it’s no surprise when he’s able to figure out that new tech thing he got and figure it out within the first 10 minutes, thereafter, you take the chance to get him to talk about anything and everything you want him to
he takes awhile to warm up to people, sometimes very mechanical like the things he likes to play with, but when he does, his care is silent
he buys the Bluetooth keyboard you need cause your laptop keyboard is wonky
he buys the cute marvel themed mouse pad cause your current one is peeling
then when you got him that xbox, his competitiveness hopped out like doomsday and he’d trash you on a good day with a lack thereof of mercy when it comes to verbally trashing you
but on some shitty days when he can read your tiredness and frustration, he lets you win
“give me that mouse pad, it’s almost as messed up as you.”
SAN - ABANDONED PLACES AND LIGHTHOUSES
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scary on first sight/impression, yet nothing but a place full of memories that was once full of life - that’s san for you
i think he’s very intimidating on stage, which is exactly how many abandoned places are marketed on the media - haunted, ghosts, murderers, weird plants and insects etc, but what about the history of those places before they went to shit?
there’s so much more to it than what you see
adventure, wander and thrill-seeking overwhelms you when he’s around. there’s absolutely nothing to be afraid of. 
lighthouses - where you find your way, and that you’ll never get lost
people tend to lose sight of what they love and want in life and san would probably be able to inspire you to get back on track, by the sheer force of his own passion and vision for himself
“run with me and we’ll see the light together!”
MINGI - MISMATCHED OUTINGS AND PLAYFUL TACKLING
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ok when i say mismatched outings i mean it in the way that he’d dress up and ask you to dress up BUT you’d find yourself at a cheaper/more coffee-shop like eatery instead of a restaurant
he has fun admiring how pretty you are on the way there, but when he pulls you up to a coffee shop you’re like what? then why did i dress up so nicely for?
mingi knows that you depend on your appearance alot for confidence, so he really wants to see that pride when you’re out with him
lazy pajamas and messy hair are reserved for sleepovers and for days when you don’t really feel like doing much - and of course he’ll be there to comfort you when you need it
i think he’ll find absolute joy in pulling you close and wrapping his longass coat around you on the colder autumn/winter days, and then he’ll ruffle through your hair and you cant run because of his coat and arm wrapped around you
will definitely get judged by passerbys 
but like the mismatched outfits x location, he really doesn’t care. it’s the company he cares about. it’s the condition of his company he cares about. it’s the food he cares about. not the reputation, not the pure material of someone’s clothes
“i know i told you to dress pretty but must you outdo me all the time” /insert pouty face/
WOOYOUNG - EXPERIMENTAL COOKING AND PRANK CALLING
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omg the noise pollution
‘let’s call yeosang’
‘what for?’
‘just ‘cause’
and you’ll do it on your phone because wooyoung knows yeosang won’t pick it up if it’s from his phone, and so when he does pick up and he hears you say ‘hello’ with the most amount of guilt in your voice, he tells wooyoung to fuck off and hangs up
seonghwa would be your next victim but hwa would stay on the line just so he wouldn’t have to worry about coming back to a burnt down kitchen - not because he thinks wooyoung can’t cook, but because wooyoung gets absolutely distracted with you around and would want to impress you with his culinary skills, which more often than not, backfires
pranks aside, all wooyoung wants to do is to make you laugh or smile and make the time spent with him the most fun and worthwhile
even if it meant getting into trouble with his members, he decides it’s worth the risk if it means he gets to see you happy and full from eating the food he prepares
like his experimental dishes, every joke and bs pun he says is new and never fails to amuse you - even if you don’t actually laugh
you see a new side to him with every passing day and he can be sensitive if he wants to, or completely clown himself if he wanted to as well
“don’t complain about the food! i bothered to cook for you and you complain about it?!”
JONGHO - APPLE PICKING AND PLAYFUL ARM WRESTLING
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the one time you let him snap your apple into half cause your teeth hurt and now he snaps all your apples in half and it’s becoming more of a joke over anything else
finally decided to go to an apple orchard for the lols and amuse the people there with his apple breaking skills
you’re extra amused everytime he manages to do it (because how?????) and he adores seeing that on you - you’re honestly not easy to entertain so he’s a simp for when he’s the reason why you are
it came to a point where you got curious how strong he was because he hasn’t revealed one bit of skin ever since you’ve met him
it started out as you actually challenging him, but when you lost with two hands against his one hand, he started teaching you techniques on how to win instead
of course, he’s never let you beat him because he knows it’ll hurt your pride if he does
very, very quiet and subtle care - makes apple juice from the leftover apples he has at home and brings it to school for you
sometimes asks wooyoung to make dried apple chips for you but tells you he bought it cause he doesn’t want you to know he troubled someone
“are the apple chips too sweet? i can buy you another brand”
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yovoyovoy · 3 years
Text
Assorted Eli Clark Headcannons
These aren't romantic, I just like his character rand think he’s neat.
cut for length
-He seems like a very soft spoken kind of dude. He has a very steady moral compass and is a balance between introverted and extroverted. Like a mom friend. 
-But he's got old man energy so he's the group's collective grandpa. 
-I feel like he'd be the type to ask if you want to talk about it if he sees you struggling with something.
-If it involves another survivor, he's even open to be a meditator for the two of you.
-People take him up on this a lot. So it leads to the gossip of the house perking up whenever they hear Eli is looking for someone.
-Don't worry, you aren't being followed. Brooke is keeping a very close eye on the surroundings, and he'd even have it take place in his room. Just to make sure no one is watching.
-He has heavy taste for jazz music and when it picks up in tempo hell say it, "goes hard"
-Lucky showed him some 80s tracks and they're either hits or misses He's a sucker for sound design. 
-Brooke is his eyes yes, but when he sends her out he's left with just his ears.  Ideally he'd like to have someone he trusts with him. But he knows he won't always have that. But hey, he can dream. Cant he?
-I feel like when there's group movie night he'd watch the film with everyone.  Group movie days are fun because of the commentary everyone brings.  Like. They'll pause it just to go off on character design and shit. Maybe sing along to some of the songs. Yell at the characters. 
-Just group movie things.
-100% Eli has taken the time to find some of the OSTs from the movie. And when Brooke is asleep he'll just reach over on the nightstand by his bed and listen to them. Recalling all the fun times they had.
-In times like this, it's what I’d relate to closing your eyes and imagining you're there again
-This man cannot make an insult to save his life.
-He just feels so bad about it.
-He absolutely isolates himself in the beginning when he first gets to the manor. He played heavily into the brooding loner type.
-The edgy mystery type.
-The don't fuck around with me type.
-But that's because he doesn't want to make the same mistake twice.
-He has very heavy protective urges when he cares about people. He wants to keep them safe and well and happy. And those motivations, those parts of him are what got him into this death game in the first place. But oh dear god
-Once those walls break down, he goes off running.  He jumps through every hoop he has to in order to make sure his friends are safe.
-He has a soft spot for animals  (See Brooke. And I imagine before he met Brooke he had a cat. 
-If you ask him about it, depending on how long he'd been in the manor you get 2 different options.
-1) forming bonds with animals is an extensive process which i utilize. It's only fitting that I started young.
-2) oh, cats make great company. And i like how soft they are. :)
-100% people will try to dress Brooke up in little outfits. And she hates it. So when he wakes up and Brooke is just spazzing out, he is absolutely panicking trying to figure out what's wrong with her.
-She cant fly? She's moving erratically? What could it be?
-He goes to pick her up and feels some fabric. 
-Did someone tie her up maybe?
-Only to hold her up in front of the mirror and see her in a little outfit.
-He'd have to work hard to stifle laughter. But at least it wasn't something serious.
-If you’ve read The Outsider’s you’ll know what I mean when I say Eli doesn’t lock his door. 
-He has little material possessions except what he uses on a day to day basis.
 -Maybe the scattered card Emma made or the letter opener he got from Victor.
 -Oh, and the tape recorder on his nightstand. :)
-(Eli and Victor are pen pals and take pride in writing to the other survivors.)
-He has nothing really to steal so he has nothing really to worry about.
-He tells it to anyone he sees having a breakdown or someone who just needs a quiet place to go to his room.
-But even if some of his stuff goes missing or a prank gets pulled on him.
-It's never going to mean as much to him as it would helping out someone who needs it desperately.
-He has a soft spot for egg salad sandwiches
-If anyone is really sad, and he's run out of wisdom to give. I imagine he'd just ask them if they want to see something he found endearing he saw in a book.
-And if they say yes, he’s going to smile so fucking hard as he has Brooke sit on his lap or some other perch and just
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stickyy · 3 years
Note
could i get a reader x ururaka where the reader kidnaps her and forcibly 'protects' her by coddling her and keeping her in a soft room with everything she could need and not letting her leave, even if it means restraining, or even injuring her? tysm! i'm really looking forward to seeing your blog grow! (btw if you cant/dont want to write ururaka, midoriya or shinso are also good!) ♡
thank you so much for your kind words!! :D i hope you enjoy, i kind of went for a more somber tone bc i like Angst, so this was moody and fun to write!
warnings: yandere!gn!reader, kidnapping, very mildly graphic mutilation (hands and ankle), drugging mention, very vague vomit mention, angst, best friends to lovers (gone wrong) /s
word count: 1.5 k
note: the scene describing mutilation is sandwiched by two dashes (-), incase u dont want to read it :D
AFTERMATH
The pattering of rain against the kitchen window is loud, accompanied by the sizzle of food on the stove and the distant chatter of news anchors coming from your TV in a domestic cacophony of sounds. It’s a Saturday morning, and it would be a pretty relaxed one if not for the deep pit of dread in your stomach. You had a rough night, to say the least. Trying to keep yourself present, you rub the dark bags under your eyes as you tend your routine of making breakfast every morning. Maybe a meal between the two of you will fix things. You hope so, at least. You tune into the television in an attempt to distract yourself.
“... are still in search for missing Hero, Urav-”
You’re suddenly uninterested, shutting the cable off with haste. Breakfast is as good as finished, anyways. 
The house is quiet, save for the rain, and the silence settles as a sickly chill under your skin. Taking your time to ensure your footsteps are quiet, you head towards the door at the end of the hallway. The normally innocuous door frame looms over you and you want to shrink away, go back to a time where things were okay. You place the tray on the small table outside of the room, fishing for the keys in your pocket. There are 3 locks; two require keys, while the other is an opposite facing deadbolt. You make quick work of opening them, daily practice rendering you nimble. With the door open and the keys back in your pocket, you grab the tray and push the door in with your hip, your stomach dropping and your heart fluttering simultaneously at the sight of Uraraka, still sleeping peacefully.
You place the tray on her bedside table gingerly, opening the curtains to her window afterwards. The dim, muddy light wakes her, her form stretching under the plush covers.
“Good morning!” you chirp, over enthusiastic as you sit on the edge of her bed. Her hair is messy, skin splotchy from laying in one place all night (you give her sleeping pills at night, and they tend to keep her in one place). She rubs sleep from her eyes cutely, sighing before speaking to you.
She hums in response. Even when she’s angry, she’s always so polite, sweet enough to offer you any response after what you did to her. Her gentle voice, no matter if she’s laughing or talking or screaming or crying, is music to you. The noise does more to set you at ease than you’d like to admit, her voice like stitches to your wounded heart. You can’t help but smile, warmth spreading over your skin. You love her so much, it’s why you do what you must to keep her safe.
“Did you sleep well?” you ask, as you do everyday, setting up her breakfast in front of her. She’s silent. You expect as much, yet it still stings, and you spare a glance at her to see an expression you can’t quite read and don’t quite like. That’s all it takes for the pit to return, guilt and remorse stirring through your veins. You can only muster offer a soft noise in response, sitting back with your own plate of food. You start first, choosing to focus on the flavor of the food, the softness of the duvet, the rain- anything but the silence. 
But it’s so difficult; you want nothing more than to be able to ignore her, to not feel so attached and needy and sorry. She burns so brightly, even when she’s upset, and you’re a moth to the flame, unable to look away for long. You don’t even realize that you’ve scarfed down half of your food, but it’s glaringly apparent when you look to Uraraka’s food to see it untouched, cooling rapidly. You glance at her face yet again, and her forlorn expression prompts you to break the thick silence.
“Does it still hurt?”
She flinches but doesn’t respond, hugging her arms to her chest and turning away from you. The rain is deafening against the window, and you notice you’re not hungry anymore.
“I told you I was sorry,” you say softly, eyes unconsciously darting to the bandages on her hands, trailing down to her legs, obscured by the covers. She continues to ignore you. You can’t take it, you need to hear her say something, anything.
 “You know I hate hurting you. I hate it, but you tried to run again. Why? We’ve been doing so good, I thought you were happy! I thought you finally understood! You have everything you need here, and even if you don’t, I can get it for you. I’m not even mad, not anymore, so please just-”
“Just let me leave,” her voice is hoarse, and you can see stray tears trailing down her flushed cheeks, pained eyes trained on your face. You swallow, using all of your willpower to turn away from her gaze. You stand suddenly, taking a deep breath before heading into the bathroom, grabbing the first aid materials you left in there. You make the executive decision that it would be better if that conversation never happened, so you pretend as such when you return to the room, replacing your somber expression with a warm smile.
“Let’s get this cleaned up,” you peel back the covers and take a look at her ankle. 
-
Her shin is twisted slightly straightened yet still awkward in angle, absurdly swollen, skin littered with large splotches of wine purple, faded blue, and putrid yellow bruises. It looks like it hurts, and you feel yourself deflate, guilt chewing at your insides yet again. You’d never meant to do this to her, but you had no choice. Last night, while you were cooking dinner, you figured you’d let Uraraka keep you company as you chopped vegetables, seeing as she had been extraordinarily compliant recently. That was a mistake, as you had to act quickly when you heard the screech of the chair pushed back suddenly and the loud stomp of feet against hardwoods. You caught her before she could reach the front door, threw her to the floor, and in your irrational fit of panic you stomped hard, once, twice, three times, over and over until the sickening, dull crunch of bone snapped you out of your frenzy. In all of your time with Uraraka, both pre and post living together, you’d never seen her cry quite like this. Her loud, pained, fearful sobs made your stomach turn, and no matter how hard you tried to console her, she wouldn’t stop, thrashing to get your arms off of her. She couldn’t move far, and so you had to wait and watch her writhe in agony until she tired herself out, chest heaving, face covered in tears and snot and drool. You helped her to her room and quickly wrapped the wound, leaving her alone for the rest of the night. You were unable to sleep, hunched over the toilet for the majority of the early hours due to waves of nausea, crying spells ebbing and flowing.
(The bandages on her hands are different. Ridding her of her quirk was the only way to ensure she’d stay put. You’d had a few drinks, taken the largest kitchen knife you owned, and did what you had to. The wounds were cauterized and healed, but you kept the bandages on so she wouldn’t have to look at the scar tissue where the last ligament of her pinky fingers were missing.)
You clean her ankle, gently caressing the distorted flesh with rubbing alcohol. She returned to her reticence, save for small (cute) pained noises when you pass over a particularly tender spot. You take solace in the moment, cherishing the chance to take care of her. 
(When you rewrap the wound, you’re deliberate in doing it incorrectly. It will heal, but it will heal wrong, and then she’ll have to rely on you to get anywhere. The idea is tantalizing, and you suppress a shiver.)
-
“There, all done,” you grin up at her, surprised to find her looking back, expression exhausted but aware, awake. You pack the materials up quickly, climbing back onto the bed. You take note of her breakfast, undoubtedly cold now.
“I can heat that up for you.”
“‘M not hungry.”
That’s that, then. You decide not to push, instead opening your arms in a gesture of peace, knowing how much she loves (tolerates) your cuddles. She gives you a scrutinizing look, before nodding once, the only invitation you get. You move the tray to her bedside table, quickly scooting next to her and wrapping your arms around her gently. She doesn’t quite reciprocate, settling for just leaning against you, but you’ll take anything you can get. Your nerves are set alight, and you vow to yourself that you’ll never hurt her again. You know you did the right thing, keeping her fed and pampered and safe. You’d make up for it, devote yourself to seeing her smile again, even if only once.
“You’re not mad at me, right?” you can’t help but ask, always seeking her approval. 
She’s silent. The rain doesn’t stop. 
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lovlydovlyjaycie · 3 years
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Ævi - Frontlines
Hey again! This will be a continued series. The first Ævi series is in my masterlist and is only four parts. This is going to be a ongoing series, so there is going to be a lot more of Ævi to come. :)
Summary: Y/n or also known as Ævi has lived through varies of world events. Now it is 1941, she has excepted that some things cannot be changed so Loki has convinced Y/n to go to New York and live a normal life, a life Y/n always wanted. Or as normal it can be, because new introductions lead to events that didn’t go down in the history books.
Characters: Bucky Barnes x reader, Steve Rogers, Peggy, Loki, OC Vera
Warnings: Fluff, Violence, we’re officially in Captain America the First Avenger now... So I guess spoilers?
Note: When I am writing and particularly writing about Bucky and y/n meeting again or them just being in love I always listen to Pirates of the Caribbean to the theme or Will and Elizabeth and I thought it would be good to share that with you guys. To get in the feels. Right now it jumps from POTC One day and the last minute or so from Drink up me hearties yo ho. I know it is so random, but I cannot get it out of my head.
Part 10
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I woke up next to Bucky the next day with the blankets sprawled all over me and Bucky laying his arm lazily over me, still asleep. I looked at the dog tags that I was wearing. It felt nice having something with Bucky's name on it, to have something of his with me. I carefully turned around towards Bucky. He looked so peaceful in his sleep. Even in his sleep he had his well known smirk plastered on his face, probably dreaming about some good things. I reached with my hand towards his face. Slightly tracing his lips with my fingers and then up to his cheek. I was rubbing slow circles on his cheek with thumb.
"Good morning." He said quietly, his smirk becoming bigger. "Sorry for waking you up." I told him apologetic sliding my hand back to my place, but he quickly grabbed it. "Waking up next to you is the best thing, so never apologize for that doll." He told me as he guided my hand back to his cheek and he opened his eyes to look at me.
"What are you up to today?" I asked starting to rub circles on his cheek again. "If it were up to me.. I'd stay here the whole day." Bucky moved closer, our heads touching. My hand slid down to his neck. "But sadly it is not up to you. So what are you gonna do?" I said smiling. "Training. I wanted to ask.. Do you want to train with us or did they teach you enough in Sweden and Norway? You still got me curious about that, doll, but if you don't want to tell me I'll respect that." He continued on. I understood the curiosity and I wanted to tell him, but I didn't know what his reaction would be. "I have learned a lot from Sweden and Norway. And I will tell you everything you want to know, but I need time to find the right words.. And I want the world not to be going to shit." I slightly laughed. There was so much going on.. And how do you even tell a person that I am from the future, but have lived so far in the past as well. I honestly never told anyone before, besides Bjorn and his family, but they were there when I was figuring out what was happening to me. And then Loki, Thor, Odin, Heimdall and Frigga know, more like everyone in Asgard knew, but those five actually know the whole story. But besides that I never even tried to tell someone. And this time I really wanted to tell Bucky, but I have no clue how.
"I understand. Don't worry." He smiled then sighed. "I need to get ready." He turned over on his back. "At least we work at the same place." And he gave me a kiss on my mouth. But as soon as it started, it was over. "Lets get ready for work." I told him as I started to get up. "But lets end our day like this." He pulled my arm, making me fall on him. He kissed me again, this time it was deeper. He flipped us over, so now he was hovering over me. "I need to get these replaced." He said as he held his dog tags in his hand. He gave me a smirk. "They do look a lot better on you." He leaned in again for another kiss. "Bucky.. We.. Need.. To.. Get.. To.. Work.." After every word I got another kiss. I couldn't stop giggling between the kisses. "Bucky." I tried, but not really trying to stop him. "Alright. Lets get to work." And he stood up. As he started to walk away he turned around quickly once more and gave me another kiss. "Last one." He said as he almost skipped to the bathroom. All I could do was laugh.
-I walked in the facility to meet up with someone named Howard. Before I greeted everyone I decided to put the dog tags under my shirt. "Ah! You must be Y/n Ironside!" A man called and kind of startled me. "Yes I am." I said with big eyes turning around to see where the voice was coming from. It was a man with dark hair and a mustache. He walked up to me and put out his hand. "Nobody told me how beautiful you are. I am Howard Stark." He happily said as he was shaking my hand. "Howard Stark, I swear I have heard that name before. What's your full name?" He smirked. "Howard Anthony Walter Stark. You may have heard of me through my inventions. I have been trying to make cars fly and I see it happening in the near future." The last part I barely heard what he said. I could only think of the name Anthony. Anthony Stark. Tony Stark. Right before I got zapped away to the past he told everyone he is Iron Man. Is Howard or I Howard going to be his father, I mean they are on the same path of inventing things.
"I think I have heard Bucky mention your name before." I responded. "Bucky? Your husband?" He asked, trying to figure out whatever he was trying to figure out. "No.. But I am taken, if that's what you're getting at.." I said as I narrowed my eyes at him. He put his hands up. "Just curious. Anyway, I'll give you the tour of what we got." He said as he started walking, indicating I needed to follow. "So we have been dismantling the guns you had found in Switzerland. And there are some really interesting parts." He walked towards a machine that was holding up something that was shining blue. "This was something that was found in the guns." He explained. I stepped closer. There was no way. It looked like it was part of the Tesserect. That's how they made the guns. With the machine he was holding up the little piece, carefully. "Seems harmless enough." Howard stated. "Hard to see what all the fuss is about." He moved another machine arm closer, this one had a sort of laser. "NO!" I yelled as we got hit back by the blast of the little stone. "Write that down." Howard said. "Are you ok?" I asked as I came over to help him up. "I'm fine darling." He said as I helped him up. "Whatever that small thing is.. it is powerful." He stated.
This was actually good to know. To have the power of the stone, you don't need the whole stone. Even small bits and pieces could be powerful enough if you used it. I know the power I have is strong, but having the spell on me that Frigga helped me with so the stone can not be traced was not letting my powers come out to my full extend. I also have never really been able to use my full powers, for my own protection and others. Sometimes I do wonder what my limit is, but what if it is too much? What if I hurt people that I swore to protect? What if I cant control it? These are questions I don't want answers to right now or maybe ever.
As I turned around I saw Steve walking up. "Hi Steve." I said happy to see him and giving him a quick hug. "I have a question. What does fondueing mean?" He asked quietly. I snorted. "What? Fondue is just cheese and bread, dork." He narrowed his eyes seeing if I was joking. "Really?" He asked. "Really." I laughed.
"Alright ladies come on." Howard said ready to get back to work. "Right now we're working on everything to make sure you and your men, and woman, do not get killed." He told us showing Steve around the lab. I had no idea what they were making. "Carbon polymer. Should withstand your average German bayonet. Although Hydra's not going to attack you with a pocket knife." Howard told us as he showed us some material. It was most likely for his suit. "I hear you're kind of attached." Howard said as he patted the shield Steve had with him at the Hydra facility. It had a few bullet holes in them. Would be useless now. "It's handier than you might think." He told him. "You know you should think about a weapon or something to protect yourself with as well. Not just a shield." I told Steve. "I don't know. I don't think I want a offensive weapon. I want to protect people and defend them. How am I supposed to do the with a weapon." The last part wasn't a question. And he was right. To have a sort of shield as a symbol for protection would be such a good message. Steve has always been such a good man, fighting for what is right. I almost feel like a proud mother. "You're right. I completely agree with you." I told him. But what does that say about me? I swore to protect Life. And always when I fight I have my sword with me or knifes. Was I wrong for doing that?
"I took the liberty of coming up with some new options for your shield." Howard broke my train of thought. On the table there were many other shields. And they were the complete opposite of what Steve wanted. Howard was explaining somethings about the shields as I saw out of the corner of my eye another shield. Much smaller than the ones on the table. "What about this one?" I asked as I took the shield from next to the table and handed it over to Steve. It was very light. "No, no, that's just a proto type." Howard said dismissively. "What's it made of?" Steve asked him. "Vibranium. It's stronger than steel and a third the weight. It's completely vibration absorbent." Steve was spinning the shield around in his hands checking it out. He put the shield on his arm and gave it another look. "It looks good, Steve." He smiled and nodded at me. He also seemed to like it a lot too. "That is the rarest metal on Earth." Howard told him.
"You quite finished Mr. Stark?" Peggy asked as she came walking in the lad. "What do you think?" Steve asked Peggy. I could see in his eyes that he really like her. Slightly trying to show off his stance with the shield. In a quick motion Peggy grabbed a gun and fired at Steve. I quickly stepped away looking on in shock. Four shots and not even a dent in the shield. Howard's mouth was gaping open from shock. "Yes I think it works." Peggy said as she brushed by Steve. When Peggy was out of sight I spoke up. "What the hell did you do?!" I yelled at him punching him in the shoulder. "I-.. I don't know.." Steve said stammering. I narrowed my eyes at him. "Steve?" I said in a warning tone. "She might have seen me kiss another dame." That deserved another punch to his shoulder. "You what?! I thought you like Peggy? What are you doing kissing other girls for?" He shook his head. "I don't know. I didn't mean to." I pushed him. "Well you better get your priorities straight, cause we are leaving soon." I said as I walked away from him.
-
We had done a few missions already. It felt strange working with multiple people at once. I was so used to working alone. But there was still no luck on the Tesserect. There were many people with the same guns we had found earlier, but that was it. It was becoming so frustrating to still not be able to find anything. Even more so when people around me were getting hurt.
"Alright, here is the plan. Sergeant Barnes, you are gonna go up on the hills and you will be the look out for us. I will go down first to the facility and take out any threats that are outside. Dugan, Morita, Falsworth you take the Eastside. Jones and Dernier take West. Sawyer, Pinkerton and Juniper take North. Y/n, you stay close to me." Everybody nodded in agreement. We all got ready and checked our things. I put my knifes behind my back and Bucky had added a hand gun to my belt as well. He had told me it would make him feel less worried if I didn't just have knifes with me.
"You got everything?" Bucky asked coming closer and strapping his riffle to his back. "I do." I told him showing off the gun he gave me. "You have enough bullets?" I smiled. "I do. Don't worry. I am probably not even gonna use the gun anyway. So don't worry." I said smiling coming closer. "Besides.. I have this to protect me." I showed him the dog tags that were hidden under my shirt. "I would feel better if I was actually with you." He told me as he took the dog tags in his hand and gave them another look. "You know I need to check the facility. Who else is gonna make sure it is safe from a distance?" I told him smiling. "You really need to teach me how to fight with knifes." He told me as he pulled me closer to his chest.
It was always scary separating like this. Bucky was always somewhere behind up in the hills or between the trees. When I was somewhere at the front with Steve or Gabe Jones. I knew Bucky could defend himself, but I never have really seen him fight hand to hand.
"Alright. After this mission I will teach you a few things with me knife. Just don't do anything stupid." He laughed and nodded and hugged me a little tighter. I put my head down on his chest. Hearing his heart steadily pump. His warm embrace always calmed me down or just made me feel at peace. I breathed in his scent, he smelled like gunpowder and warm wood. "Be safe out there." I told him quietly. He put his hand up to my hair and started rubbing circles. "I will."
-
The mission had gone fairly well. We took out every Hydra member at this facility. But still no Tesserect. I mean how many hiding places do they even have? I feel like I have looked everywhere, but every single time there was nothing.
"Did you find what you where looking for?" Steve asked coming up behind me. "No, still nothing." I shook my head. It was getting so frustrating leaving empty handed every single time. "Did anybody know about what you were looking for?" Steve continued on. I wish someone did know as to where to find the Tesserect. "No, I need to find someone who is in some of the higher ranks they-.. Ahh!" My leg felt hot. I looked down and there was blood gushing out of my upper leg. I fell to the ground from the pain. In just a moment it would be gone, so I couldn't make a tooo big of a scene about it, but right now it hurt a lot and it was hard not to scream. Steve quickly jumped in action to the offender. He threw his shield towards the Hydra agent and he fell down.
"Y/n!" I heard coming from my right. Bucky was running down a hill towards me. "No! Stop!" I yelled. He didn't look if it was clear. Because behind the tree I saw another agent come out from hiding pointing his gun to Bucky's back. I quickly grabbed my knife I had behind my back and threw it at the Hydra agent. Bucky was trying to turn around and put his gun up at him at the same time, but the knife already hit the Hydra agent in his chest. In that moment the Hydra agent had pulled the trigger and hit Bucky in his right shoulder. "Bucky!"
My leg was not fully healed yet, but I bit down the pain and ran towards Bucky as fast as my legs could take me. Everything seemed to go in slow-motion from that moment on. I slowly saw Bucky fall to the ground and I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore. Every step I took made my heart beat faster for the worry I had for Bucky. As I came close to him I dropped to my knees.
"Bucky keep your eyes open!" I said. I checked his shoulder and saw all the blood gushing out. "Are you ok?" Bucky asked me out of breath. "Worry about yourself, Buck. You need to stay awake." I had to heal him even though there were people around me. I looked at Bucky's face and saw it drain of color. His eyes were slowly dropping. "Stay with me." I told him as I put my hand on his bullet wound. I quickly looked around and saw that Steve was already running towards us. It was now or never I thought. I put all my energy I had towards my hand and it started to light up. White and gold swirling around my hand and going through Bucky's skin. I looked at Bucky's face again and saw his eyes snap open. It worked. I slowly lifted my hand up and saw that the wound was already as good as healed. There was still a cut left, but it was nowhere near as bad as it was before. This would be naturally healed in a little more than a week. My hand had stopped glowing.
"Are you ok?" I asked Bucky with hopeful eyes. "I-... I uh.. I'm ok. What happened?" He asked me as he sat up. Steve had caught up and dropped down next to us. "Are you ok! I saw you get shot!" Steve said. Bucky looked down at his shoulder. It was still covered in blood, but he could definitely tell something was off. He saw the wound, but it was small, but there was a lot of blood. He pulled down his shirt from his shoulder trying to see if there were more wounds, but that was it. He looked really confused. He slowly looked up at me. He tried to search my eyes for an answer. "I thought I got shot too."
...
..
.
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fallingfor-fics · 3 years
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Teachers Pet-chapter 13: the test
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chapter 12
I was just leaving the Great Hall and was walking to DADA with Harry and Ron, discussing what we were thinking we would do in class today, since neither of us wanted to attend. We walked into the classroom and I noticed Lockhart wasn't there yet, thank Merlin, maybe he would be absent today. We sat down and got our supplies out patiently waiting. I heard Ron whispering to Harry and nudging his arm.
 Lockhart entered and gave a brief overview of what we would be doing in class today. I heard more whispers from the pair and turned to look at them, "What are you two whispering about?" I said in a hushed tone. "Nothing" they both said and I just rolled my eyes. I then felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Harry smiling at me. "Um Y/n I wanted to ask you something." he said clearly scared and looking back at Ron. "Well what is it?" I said wishing he would just ask already. "Potter! L/n! Shhh Im speaking!" Lockhart interrupted. He continued blabbing about the lesson and I turned back to Harry. "What was it?" I whispered. "Oh, um well I was wondering If you wanted to go to the Yule Ball with me?" he spat out quietly. I was taken aback clearly, shocked since I had no Idea Harry liked me. I felt kinda bad because I didn't feel the same and I didnt want to hurt his feelings. He could tell it was taking me a minute to think it over. Harry was just so sweet, too sweet, I didn't really like cheesy sweet boys, they are a little soft for my personality, which is why it was gonna be so hard to say no. "Look Harry, you're one of the nicest guys I have had in my life, but I just dont think its a good idea, im sorry, I'm positive you can find someone better to take, like Ginny maybe?" I said with a compassionate smile.
   I could see his face soften and he frowned a bit, "Oh that's alright I totally understand, I just figured y'know neither of us had dates yet, but no worries." he said as he turned and focused back on Lockhart. I felt so guilty for doing that, he was such a good friend, but I just couldn't see us having a good time at the ball. I did the same and focused on Lockhart and we spent the rest of class in silence.
   Once class ended I muttered small goodbyes to Harry and Ron and quickly sped out of the room not wanting to deal with the aftermath of that whole situation. "Hey Y/n" Draco said walking up to me like he did everyday, "Hey Draco, ready for the potions test?" I said as we walked to the dungeons. "Mm yeah I guess I mean I've been ready haha." he said with a cocky smile. I rolled my eyes, "How was DADA? Hope you didn't hex Lockhart again." He said laughing. "It was fine, and fuck off," I said playfully pushing him"Something strange did happen though," I said looking down at my books, "Harry asked me to the Yule Ball.." I said looking at him. "What?! Potter? What a joke!" he said scoffing "I hope you didn't say yes!" he added. "No I didn't, he's too sweet and I just don't feel that way about him, but I feel really bad about it. He looked upset." I said looking back down. "Oh I'm sure he'll be just fine, plus you need a man to take you to the ball, certainly not Potter." he snarled, I elbowed him and gave him a look, "Hey be nice! He's still one of my friends you know." "Yeah yeah." he said mockingly,  as we entered the potions classroom and took our seats in the front. Snape wasnt here yet so we all waited patiently. I got my supplies out and opened my book looking over the material one last time. The door flew open and Snape came walking in, his robes billowing behind him like usual. I felt a small smile creep to my face at the act, he always looked so stunning when he did that, so...powerful. I realized what I was doing and quickly looked back at my book and dropped the smile.
   "Ok class, put your textbooks away and clear off your tables, I will now be handing out your tests, you'll have all of class to complete them, no more and no less. You will get your grades back tomorrow, come drop them on my desk when you are finished and return to your seat quietly." He spewed, the same speech he gave before every test, he began walking around the class handing out the tests and came to my table last, he handed one to Draco and then to me, I looked up at him as he handed it over and smiled saying thank you, he just nodded and looked to have given and very small smirk, as if to say "Good luck" I took a deep breath and began on the test. It was 100 questions which was no surprise since we have a 2 hour class period for potions. 40 minutes had gone by and I was on question 36, which wasn't very good, as Draco was on 49. I needed to pick up the pace if I wanted to finish in time. An hour and a half had now passed and several kids had already finished, I was feeling pretty good so far and was on question 70 something, feeling like I was losing my mind at all the words on the page. Before I knew it Draco was getting up and turning his in. I was almost done, only 5 questions left and 15 minutes left. When I finished there were only three kids still working on theirs, I looked up at Snape who was going over essays and he looked up at me. We made eye contact and I quickly looked back at my test, checking over all my answers. I let out a breath and cracked my knuckles as I stood and slowly walked up to Snape, "All done" I said nervously handing it to him, he looked up and took it from me, and his fingertips brushed mine very softly and quickly as he took it from me, and as soon as he did, out of fear and embarrassment, I snatched my hand away and smiled awkwardly, walking back to my table and putting my head down. I dozed off for the last 10 minutes of class, awakening to Draco shoving me telling me it was time to leave, I sat up and saw most of the class had left.
   I grabbed my stuff and we went for the door, "Actually, Ms. L/n may I speak to you." I froze scared it was about the hand thing, or maybe the Dumbledore thing this morning. I shooed off Draco saying I'd catch up and walked over to stand next to Snape's desk. He stood up and I followed him with my eyes, keeping eye contact to get any sense of what this was about. "I went ahead and decided to grade your test as soon as you turned it in." He said in his usual tone, not giving me any clue as to what I got. Making the suspense and tension build more. "Oh gosh. It's bad isn't it? I failed, didn't i? Oh merlin Professor im so sor-" I began to ramble when he didn't speak but he cut me off, "Y/n calm down." He said and I could feel a slight blush at the use of my first name. He handed me my test and I kept my eyes on his not looking down at it yet. "Wooo ok I can do this" I said giggling a bit, I looked down and my eyes went wide. Written in red ink and circled at the top was a 92. A fucking. 92. I looked back up at him and my jaw dropped. "OH MY GOSH I DID IT!" I practically screamed, jumping up and hugging the paper. "I can't believe I passed and with a 92 this is the happiest moment of my life!" I said smiling up at him.
In fit of adrenaline and serotonin overdose I threw my arms around him and hugged him. He went stiff and I realized what I was doing and quickly threw myself off. "Oh my I'm so sorry Sir, that was so inappropriate, I was just so happy" I said blushing hard and feeling a very strong nervous tingle, which it was I decided to call them, and looked up at him. "It's quite alright Y/n, I'm very proud of you, you worked hard and it paid off, good job." He said with a very small, but visible smile. I smiled big back at him and gestured to him, "I got you to smile too! This is amazing!" I said giggling. "Alright alright enjoy it while it lasted because that's the first and last time you'll see it." he said back in his normal tone and sat back down in his chair. We went silent for a moment as I just stared at my test. "I'm gonna frame this" I joked to which he just looked up at me and smirked a bit. "I cant thank you enough Professor, If you hadn't helped me and stayed up all night tutoring me, I would have been seeing another 50" I said with a calmer and genuine tone. "Of course, Ms-...Y/n, Im proud." he said and I put my head down to hide the blush, I felt rush to my cheeks at the sound of him saying my name, this was getting out of hand. "Ok well, I will see you in tutoring tomorrow. Goodbye Severus." I said with a sarcastic grin and walking out of the class before he could scold me for the use of his first name.
   I walked out of the school to the yard and sat in front of the tree that overlooked the lake. I closed my eyes and took in the fresh air listening to the quiet sound of the lake's water. I looked down at my test paper and smiled, he told me good job and I felt so proud to have pleased him, thinking of the potions professor and how he was such a different man to me now than he was when we first met, he was still his normal self 90% of the time, but he would let the kindness shine through every now and again when I would talk with him. I can't believe I hugged him, I thought. He felt warm for such a cold man, and he smelt nice, like parchment and firewhiskey. That smell would forever be burned in my head. And he smiled and it lit up my dark world for that fraction of a second. Looking in his dark eyes as he was truly proud of me, made my heart beat faster, he was so...beautiful to me, despite what others thought of him, he was an amazing man. I felt the nervous tingle again, only this one lingered on. I leaned my head back on the tree and felt a single tear slid down my face. I let out a breath and opened my eyes wiping it away quickly, and grew scared for a moment. I wasn't sure if it was a tear of joy, or a tear or worry, for I had just begun to realize, the nervous tingle I felt around him was butterflies, the ones Hermione had told me about, and the feelings I had, were for my Potions Professor.
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anxietysroomsupport · 3 years
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Hypermobile anon here. First, thank you so much. It's just nice to know there's someone here for me. And to give a little more info, I have a serious problem where if I'm not currently in pain. I don't remember how bad it was. I know everybody does this, but my brain literally checked out as I was going to bed recently and I fell on the floor. I nearly forgot to tell my physical therapist.about it because it didn't really hurt. So, I can't do the pain scale very well, and I never remember (1/2)
(2/2) It just makes it sort of hard for pain relief when I don't know I'm going to need it and don't have the energy when I do. Also, on the vitamin subject, I know that I've had vitamin d issues before (bad heat exhaustion and allergy scares = going outside less), bad enough that I was close to being diagnosed with hypothyroidism. I'm not sure about the others, but I do know I'm not amazing healthy, so? I take calcium pills for the vitamin d, though. Again, thank you guys for all your help.
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We just got a bill from my PT place that says we owe money that we can't pay. They told us up front how much it would be with our insurance, and my mom's been paying each time, but it says we owe 177 dollars. Sure, it's not a lot, but we're not rich and trying to send a sibling to college. If we can't get this sorted out. I can't just not go. 10 exercises I can do at home and 5 appointments is not enough to help a chronic disorder. I cant focus and I have practice in 30 mins. -Hypermobility anon
Same day but later when I'm feeling a little better (my director was very supportive though so that's nice), I'd seen the letter and heard my parents talking a bit, but my mom told be as we got to school for rehearsal about PT. I got upset, and I felt bad because I could tell she felt bad because she didn't expect me to be upset, and in the heat of the moment I said "chronic illness" in front of my mom for the first time. She loudly (not quite yelling) (1/?) - Hypermobility anon
said to me "That is the most self-pitying thing I've ever heard. Chronic illnesses are like cancer". Sure, I probably should've said disorder and not illness, but I'm scientifically right. Then I said "It is, it's chronic pain, I am always in pain" and she said "Well then clearly PT isn't helping anyway" - I??? When I went in after 15 minutes after another girl, since we were both there for an hour and a half, I decided to stop trying too much to hide my crying (useful masks) (2/?) -HSD anon
since the other girl was in the hall to eat, and when I managed to explain to the director, she was understanding and nice, and when I said chronic, she said that I should never have to live with that, especially at my age. And when I mentioned not being able to sing at that moment from my crying, she pointed out how I was singing an empowering song that was about standing against the bad stuff in life, and I was perfect for it. I know my mom was just mad, but it just drained me.
Sorry I keep sending asks so often, I just feel like telling someone this. I decided to put 'zebra' in my bio. It's a thing that people with EDS and HSD sometimes like to call themselves. I like it, so even though I just have my name and pronouns, plus a random joke, in my bio, I added it. It just feels like a step in the right direction to remembering that I don't need google to tell me I'm dealing with this every 5 minutes. Accepting it, I guess. :) -HSD anon
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My sleep schedule just keeps getting worse and I think it's my ADHD combined busy days and pain but I just never want to sleep anymore. I can't, I don't want to, and it hurts physically and mentally to just lie there and see if I can fall asleep. 80% sure my circadian rhythm changed to sleep at about 2 am but I get up at 7 and have a chronic disorder that's getting worse because of this I *need sleep*. And I'm so scared I'll mess up, want to make a side blog for it but want to make one (1/2)
for something happy first because I always figured that if I had side blogs they would be ask blogs or for fandoms or whatever. But I got a little better at not caring what other people think, so I haven't really needed one for fandom. But I looked through the tag and felt so comforted by some of the stuff that I just think it would help me. Maybe I'm just extra bad tonight because I went outside but also talked about it a fair amount with a friend I hadn't seen recently who didn't know. -HSD
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I wanna talk to my physical therapist about hip braces because I tried a knee one we have and it honestly helps, but my hips are worst so I wanna see if it would help, but they're pretty expensive. It's hard to find dual hip braces, from what I've seen in my research, and even though one more than the other, both cause me issues. Idk, I'm conflicted, because it could help but is it worth all the effort? Also, even if it's under clothing it's still physical evidence (1/2) -HSD anon
(2/2) of my "invisible" disorder. Also, stopping exercises for a few days because of not feeling well from my covid shot reminded me of just how much time I spend on them, so it's another thing to deal with this. . . Idk, sometimes I just wonder if it would be better to just deal with it. I still have pain anyway, though it might be a little better. Less often, maybe? I don't really remember. It's not stressing at the front of my mind all the time, but the back of it. I'm just conflicted. -HSD
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HSD anon here, idk if I mentioned it in an ask already, but recently I had a small breakdown because I was watching something where a character was in a car accident, as was trying to push through having trouble walking even with a hip brace. After a minute, I registered it and just thought "That could be my future". My joints had already been acting up and then they got worse, so I don't know if it was cause and effect? But I don't exactly know what to call it other than a trigger. (1/2)
Physical and emotional effect, at least I'm assuming on physical because I've had a bad reaction to something similar before, but like, I don't have trauma, I think it's more fear of the future. And I don't want to use trigger incorrectly, it's insensitive to those who actually have triggers. I'm just so confused.
Forgot to sign the last ask with 2/2 and HSD, whoops.
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Hfnsiwk I'm not ready to walk into PT tomorrow and say that I don't think months of PT have been helping but I have no way to be completely sure because for all I know it's the weather since this is the first year I've known/it's been noticeable. Maybe it's just change, I don't know, but it just feels like such a waste of time if it really didn't help. Plus, I'd stop, and while that'd be great, I do enjoy being stronger, even if it didn't help pain. I have 12 hours and a bad pain day idek. -HSD
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Hi Hypermobility Anon,
I think I found all your asks and got them in the correct order.  And found your last ask!
I’m so glad you kept writing in.  I think you should go ahead and make your side blog - you definitely have enough material for it.  Wanting to make a happy side blog also is a great goal to have, but if you don’t know what it will be yet, don’t let that prevent you from doing something you know you want to do and that will probably help you.  
You are dealing with So. Much.  Your mom especially sounds like she just is not ready to accept the situation.  It’s not self-pity to state your actual conditions.  It’s just reality.  
Forgetting about pain is normal, and really all you can do is try to write it down or make some kind of note about it in the moment or immediately after, so you can refer to it later.  Maybe you can track your pain events in your phone notes.
I think your idea to add “zebra” to your bio is a good one, this is part of your life and just something you have to deal with.  It sounds like you’re finding a community for this.  
Sleep schedules are tricky, and feeling like you desperately need to sleep can make it so stressful that it starts a vicious little cycle.  Some strategies to get around this are First, remember that just resting is okay and helpful too, even if you don’t fall asleep.  Letting your body lay there to rest is good for you.  
Second, if you’ve spent several minutes laying down without falling asleep, its okay to get up and walk around, or any small light exercise that’s comfortable for you.  The goal with this one is to get out of the bed for a bit.  It will help your brain to re-learn that the bed is for sleeping only, not for laying awake.  That association can help signal to your brain to start its sleep-process when you get into bed at night.
Third, it’s really common to have a changing circadian rhythm during your teens and twenties.  That’s just a thing that happens and you can’t do much about it, so just try not to worry too much.  Sleep when it feels right and when you can, instead of trying to force yourself to sleep when you’re “supposed” to.  
If hip braces would help you, you should definitely at least mention it to your physical therapist.  You might research online for any used ones as well.  A physical sign that you have pain can have good and bad consequences, but I think the good consequence of being in less pain far outweighs any others.
The triggering event you described is not so much a trigger as it is just a genuinely really upsetting situation.  You related really strongly to the character you were watching, because they’re dealing with similar problems to you, and to problems you could have in the future.  It’s a lot to process.  But while you could potentially be in a car accident, remember that television is made to dramatize events and probably made it seem a lot more difficult and scary than it really would be.   
Since we know you sometimes forget your pain, it’s safe to say that the exercises are helping you manage it, and you say that they’ve made you stronger in general.  Those are good things, and I would recommend you continue the exercises you can do on your own even if you end of ending  your physical therapy sessions.  We don’t know yet if your pain might have gotten even worse without therapy.  You’ll have to find that out on your own if you stop exercising, and then decide whether it’s more worth it to you to continue exercising or to live with the pain.  Whichever you choose, it’s Your choice, Your body.  Take care of yourself. <3
-bun
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smndragon · 3 years
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Hello, I know I haven’t been following your account for too long but you’re one of my fave accounts. You really put a lot of effort and offer your resources/knowledge/time without hesitation which I feel often times other creators don’t really have the opportunity to do. Thank you for your dedication because I’ve found your posts really insightful and they’ve been really helpful in expanding my knowledge <3
I also wanted to ask if you were offering readings atm because I was really interested in receiving one from you! If not, it’s okay! <33
[ Big Six :
Sagittarius ↑, Scorpio ☀︎, Leo ☽
Virgo Venus , Capricorn Mars, Sagittarius Mercury ]
I hope you’ve been doing well and I hope both sides of your pillow is cold !!! <3
Also, Idk if you watch anime but if you could recommend one one of your faves I’d really appreciate it! :,))
If you don’t mind me asking, I was wondering how many years you’ve been studying Astro considering the amount of knowledge you have. I’ve been dabbling myself but I find it intimidating. ESP when it comes to the complexity of birth charts because of all the different variables you need to consider.
Thank you for taking your time to read my ask! I really appreciate your consideration!! <3
You had me over here looking up "what does atm mean in text" like a grandma on Google 😭😭 I really couldn't figure that out I thought of the money atm. Thank you for saying all this though! I do try to take time even if my fingers have to hurt for it. I'm glad you're learning a bit from them or opening your mind to it! Glad to be one of your favs!
An anime recommendation is probably sword art online. It's a basic but I really like it I've watched all the seasons at least 5 or 4 times. Either that or possibly is it wrong to pick up girls in a dungeon I think it was called. I haven't watched anime in a while to be honest. Learning wise and growth I believe movies like Mirai and flavours of youth on Netflix are very sentimental and leave you touched.
I've been studying only since early 2021 really maybe mid? I started by Tumblr actually, I got the app because I wanted to read more fanfic sites and explore more and I got into more astrology here. I already was interested before then for years but I never actually looked so far into it until then. I actually only learned by readings posts every day I would look up "astro observations" and just read for as long as I could. I took a few people's charts that are long dead by now to compare and analyze since I liked them so much. I learned everything here and still am. I actually recently got back into the astrology side, I took a break to read more into other things. The rest I get are based on feelings and easy searching, I'm sorry I can't really explain it too well. Most of the stuff I learned was from @d4rkpluto @saintzjenx @hillarysss and @ilyneptune I believe is somewhere there either that or it was for pile readings which they have really good ones!
It's like 5:36 in the morning I haven't slept at all but I feel great so let's do your reading! Hm, Scorpio sun, Leo moon, and Sagittarius ascendant. We have the same ascendant which makes me happy! I didn't save so a part got deleted but I saw a girl with lilies on her head immediately, like a sort of crown. It reminded me of Hans Christian Andersen because he once made a flower crown and placed it on someone's hat making them mad after finally finding it💀 this girl reminds me of a time that seems so long ago now. She smiles at nothing and laughs at air, as if she sees things no else had dared speak to. Children are walkways wonderful because they have these gifts, to see things we cant. Possibly 'imaginary' friend when you were younger, or you spent time just pleasing yourself easily.
The first sign that talks to me is the Leo moon, the Scorpio wanted to speak but the Leo was very loud. It feels so touch starved to me which ain't bad but lord both it and the Scorpio sun are. Possible manifestation abilities. They aren't strong but you're able to do it anyone is, whatever you want in life must be looked brightly at, it's okay to have dark days but return that dream and wanting image to your sun and it will become as close as true as out world allows it. The flower crown I saw makes me think there's an Innocence and purity in you that still stand today, never changing. The flowers are the manifestation of this Innocence and this need to be that ways somewhere in you. Possibly fear of expectation and somehow losing that part of you to something in the future. You shouldn't be afraid of what happens, things will change sadly, we can never change that and as people we have to accept it even if it gets dark. Unless this will deeply harm you it's time to let go. Tell that younger you or someone that they cna be free, to be a with all the friends they were with when they were younger. Ik that wasn't a full reading but that's what I got from either your Leo or Scorpio. The Leo wants your joy to be brought back, but not in the form of the fear of losing something. "I'm here" "it's okay" they held you at your darkest moments and will continue to do so. I feel they'll be there especially when you're older, telling you it's alright to let go of the life you once had. (Dark theme sorry but it is what happens to us all in the end) their home is in you, every part I see, the physical body comes out when you need her, a dirty blonde with a white plain shoulder and neck showing shirt, with a plain but modern skirt thin material. They have brown eyes, the eyes of a mother really, with a broad and flattens at the nose. A few dots on the sides of their eyes or face. Aura color is a wheat yellow.
The Scorpio sun is very wanting, jealous of being ignored at times. It wants some things so wholly it hurts. The domain of the Scorpio is a dark and warm place, sweat falls down my forehead as if I'm being boiled to a roast. I want to hold the Scorpio sun, it feels ignored by people. Scorpios are every sympathetic people deep down, they crave affection and reassurance, when not given they cna form unhealthy habits. Not to say you're suffering from this too harshly it's just your Scorpio needs to be cared for at some point, drink a cup of tea or something soothing, talk to your Scorpio and let it talk back, in the deepest parts of your mind they are there always and forever, waiting to recover with your strength and company. Aura is brown and radiant black splotches here and there. Possible placements are the neck, or left shoulder. Body is in the form of a bulked Scorpion, brown shelled. You may possibly have longer nails or well shaped ones. Been complimented on your hands or had them called small which was annoying maybe.
The last of the signs is the Sagittarius ascendant. It take the form of a human, has a long tail though, reptile like. It adores the space you allow it. It roams the chest area, pillows and blankets cover the room. The Sagittarius isn't lazy, it's just overworked they don important things for the body, they care for your muscles and heart. Making sure it has steady beats. They keep you as active as you could be. Enough to keep you healthy. The room is plain with white walls and tan yellow carpet. The Sagittarius takes chalk and writes on the walls "plans" "action" weird words to put down but they keep writing, I also them what they're doing but don't really get a reply. Nothing left here.
Characteristics: small hands well shaped nails, brown hair?, Style is kind of alt if or neutral. Hoodies, jeans, skirts occasionally, the not too extreme chokers, bracelets, slight makeup or none. Because of the Sagittarius I would like to say tall and slim, but I have that and I sure am not those💀 possibly could still work though. I think short though honestly. Sneakers. Binders and folders in school or home. Filled with ideas and things. Brown or green eyes.
Soulmate/ future relationship: (it in one now ignore or keep reading) I see you both planning stories and all kind soft things, laying down pointing to journals and books of your things. You guys don't laugh often but you do show affection in smiles, kisses, hugs, and closeness. I feel they won't fully kiss you until you age to grab their face or after the 11th date🙃
Possible zodiac influence in your life around you: Scorpio Mars, Gemini Venus, Libra
Future/health: nothing much here possible accidents involving phones be careful and lay attention, may crack or break it soon.
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avenger-hawk · 3 years
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I remembered you answering an ask (a very long time ago that I lost it in my endless asks) i cant remember exact specifics about it was about if suigestu & karin got together, how Sasuke would react n you said along the lines he would say 'you'll both finally stop arguing then'. You described his physical reaction too, but i cant remember the words because all i see is actual Sasuke. There's a lot of good stuff here, but your answer to this ask is still my favorite even tho its a simple question. Your answer was so on point, my memory of it is not really in words, but actual Sasuke doing it if it makes sense. I become terribly emotional, hearing and seeing him so vividly in a simple context yet so genuine outside naruto canon material and with team taka no less. Your meta and analyses are always an interesting read but somehow is that answer of urs that became a random comfort thought that be pulled out when needed, that resides in my brain, and that I'm thankful for :)
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Wow Anon, I’m happy that a little sentence provoked such strong emotions in you, you sure have a strong imagination~
It took a lot of time to find it cause plot twist, the ask wasn’t about them lol
Anyway since it was such a short thing and you liked it so much, here’s some more...I hope it won’t ruin your first impression~
                                                           *
“Hn. So I take you won’t bicker anymore, finally”
Sasuke says.
Suigetsu shrugs his shoulders, because who knows, besides he likes to bicker with her, that’s how everything started after all.
Karin acts offended instead: “So? This is all you have to say?“
Sasuke doesn’t reply. Juugo does, instead.
“I knew it“
The new couple is dumbfounded, as they were careful to not be noticed, until they decided to tell the others.
“The birds told me. They saw you kissing by the river”
“How can birds tell these things?“
Sasuke asks.
“They kiss each other so they can recognize humans kissing“ Juugo replies.
“Doesn’t your hawk..?”
Sasuke shakes his head.
“Hawks have aerial courtship rituals and food offerings”
Juugo nods, very interested.
“Also...hawks’ breeding is difficult, especially for birds kept by humans, so the owners put on a special hat and mimic female behavior to collect the male semen”
Sasuke is clearly not only a snake expert but also a falcon expert.
They all stay silent for a few minutes, mostly trying to process and figure out what they just learned. Then the silence is broken by Suigetsu.
“A hawk f*ck hat? Ewwww it’s gross!”
This time it’s Sasuke who shrugs his shoulders.
“Did you ever...have to...ewww...” Suigetsu asks.
“No, I let him fly around, he should find a mate on his own” Sasuke replies.
“And if he doesn’t? Will you have to?” Suigetsu  asks again.
Sasuke shrugs again.
They all saw all kinds of things with Orochimaru.
“Heey why are you guys so interested in a damn hawk f*ck hat more than in me and Suigetsu?” Karin aggressively chimes in.
“But can you believe it? A hawk f*ck hat!” Suigetsu replies, earning himself a hit in the head from his girlfriend.
They’re probably not going to stop bickering.
“It’s called ‘copulation hat’“
Sasuke specifies, but they’re probably not listening anymore.
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Text
"Well, kid, you'da loved to see the assortment of folks at the farm yesterday.
sure I know you were with us, just not in the way so you could take more of your selfies with us all.
I tried to give you so many words over the years.
I guess these are my words for you.
Thank you to Tom for hosting us today,
Thank you to those friends he had at Fright Farm for welcoming the rest of his haunt family into your house.
And thank you to all his Real Life family for sharing him with us.
I am honored that people call me Steves mentor. But we would be remiss if we didnt mention another kid I mentored when I could, and who did the same for Steve, even before I got him.
His great friend and big brother in all this, Ethan Turon.
From his 1st day at 100 Acre Manor, till days before he left, Ethan was there for him.
Let’s start with a quote from an old black and white monster movie. One of the ones I forced Steve to watch for some horror roots and set design education.
The way you walked was thorny, through no fault of your own, but as the rain enters the soil, the river enters the sea, so tears run to a predestined end."
Maleva the Gypsy
1940 The Wolfman,
I think there’s been plenty of tears in the last 2 weeks. And no doubt we all have some more ready to go.
But with someone like Steve, every time I feel myself getting upset, it’s so easy to bring up a good memory, something cool, sweet, funny, or just dumb and goofy, to bring me back. I’m sure
you can too. If not now, you will..
Because he was easy to like, to love and to get close to.
In my case, I didn’t choose him. He chose me. I had no say in the matter. He was gonna be my friend and bring his brand of haunt magic to Castle Blood whether I liked it or not.
He was like a 10 month old golden retriever, How could I not get taken in by him, become close to him, and end up with such a bond
He was Romantic about Halloween. The love, the magic, the escapeism, the fantasy. I would warn him about that. Don’t love something that can’t really love you back. And he would then read back a list in his head of all my stories, and things I’ve done in the name of Halloween, and the consistency it brought to my life.
And I would reply with the loses, the hardships, divorces, bankruptcies, missed chances and lost loved ones. And he’d ask, then why is it almost 40 years and you keep going.
I would answer, How can I not, and I’d smile, how can I not be romantic about Halloween. It’s given me everything, just like it has you.
And he’d laugh at me and I’d tell, him the controller on that animation still wasn’t working. Shut up and what do you want for lunch.
He collected friends in the industry like other kids collect baseball cards.
He wanted the old ones. to learn from, understand the industry history, and the how and what and especially the why of things. I told him always look for WHY people do what they do.
And he wanted the new ones, to get energy from youth, to bond with fresh ideas and new materials and new ways to do things. He got that from so many of you.
And in his head he tried to figure out how it all made sense and blend it together into how he wanted to see things.
It’s why he could collect and discuss cute Halloween decorations from 20 years before he was born, with the same enthusiasm as a new formula for blood, or what the latest big ass prop was at a haunt convention and how he could chop the poor thing to pieces and make it move.
Its why he would work on the Castle in a style that is meant for all us weirdos to want to live there, and the next morning be at his real gig doing a room that makes people stop and say, NNNNope I’m not going in there.
Duality. It’s a tough one to deal with. Sometimes we just say, well HE was a textbook gemini wasn’t he.
But we’re here today because it went deeper than that.
I believe we only honor him if we realize that.
When you take your love of Halloween and decide to go pro, and especially when you find work in as many haunts as he did, it’s a very tough thing.
He worked in no less than 6 different haunts in the past 2.5 years. Not counting all the haunts he just sold props to.
When you do that, you pick the owner. And he was only once in a while wrong in that. But you don’t often get to pick your surroundings or even your co workers. For someone that needs safe and trusted friends, that’s hard.
He did make great friends everywhere he went, but not everyone is gonna like the new slick hired gun that just came onto their turf. You just cant please everyone.
That 10 month old golden retriever we spoke of earlier, didn’t understand that.
We make Halloween everyday, for MONEY. why would anything need to be bad?
I don’t know kid.
This world we live in, surrounded by spoopy all day everyday, is not for everyone, not even close.
We are all on our own island of misfit toys. Every haunt, anywhere in the country.
We would all do well to realize and remember that. We come to this interest, whether livelihood or hobby, trying to find joy and happiness by latching on to the dark side of life.
That’s probably messed up, but I am as 100% guilty of it as we all are.
Should we be careful of the wierdos? Mister, we ARE the weirdos.
Do you know what they call an everyday average well adjusted person in a haunt?
They call them a customer.
As we remember Steve, we should remember all the good times and tell his stories and show his pictures, and crazy videos.
And honor him by realizing the next kid that walks into our lives wanting it all, Loving Halloween, may need help too.
Now lastly , I know, Lastly, thank god, I’d like to read you part of this coming seasons opening speech at Castle Blood. We hope you’ll come see it. None of you have any other commitments in October, do you?
I wrote it a week before he left, but he was obviously already in great distress. As I wrote this I didn’t realize how he was already affecting me.
The tour had already been named Labyrinth, and he was already working on effects for it.
We’re all travelers of one sort or another in this world.
Often wondering about the path we’ve chosen, the obstacles we find, the private battles we face, and what inside, drives us to continue.
We all make it to the other side one way or another.
It’s what happens along the way that matters.
We are all travelers.
And remember, we all get lost sometimes,
So there ya go. I miss you"
~ Ricky Dick's eulogy to Steve Guild
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