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vanessagillings · 17 days

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I’m posting the ever-so-rare photo of myself alongside one of my characters based on my childhood because today is World Autism Acceptance Day, and I wanted to show my little corner of the internet who this particular autistic person is:

I was officially diagnosed in February, at age 38 (I’m now 39). A lot of people thought I couldn’t be autistic. Some people who know me in real life still don’t. And until around 10 years ago, I didn’t think I could be either, because I was nothing like the stereotype media portrays. I was told that autistics lacked empathy (untrue), and never played make-believe (also often untrue) and only enjoyed STEM. I was — and am — an empathetic artist -- and make believe? I can spend days sketching finely bedecked bears brewing tea or carefully choosing the right words to weave tapestries of fiction — though perhaps my hyper focus was a bit of a red flag. Even so, how could autism describe me? I was a good student. I got straight A's. I didn’t act out in class. I can make eye contact…if I must. And lots of girls hate having their hair brushed with an unholy passion, right? Clearly I swim in sarcasm like a fish, so autism couldn't be why I was so anxious all the time, could it?

If someone had told me when I was younger what autism ACTUALLY is — instead of the nonsense I’d seen on screens — I would have seen myself in it. I didn’t hear that autistics have sensory issues until I was in my mid-twenties, which is when I first began to really research autism symptoms, and I had almost all of them: sensitivity to light, smells, fabrics, temperatures, textures, and certain touches, all of which make me feel anxious, I fidget (stim), I never know what the hell to do with my hands or where to look, I talk too little or too much, I have special interests, I have entire animated movies memorized shot-by-shot and can remember the first time and place I saw every movie I've ever seen but I often forget what I'm trying to say mid-sentence, I echo movies and tv shows (my husband and I have a whole repertoire of shared echolalias, making up about 20% of our conversations), I was in speech therapy as a kid, I have issues with dysnomia and verbal fluency, I toe-walk, I can't multitask to save my life, I like things just-so, I’m deeply introverted but not shy, I need to recover from all social interaction — even social interaction I enjoy — and I find stupid, every day things like grocery shopping, driving and making appointments overwhelming and intensely stressful, sometimes to the point where I struggle to speak. It turns out, I am definitely autistic. My results weren't borderline. Not even close. And while these aren’t all of my challenges, and not everyone with these symptoms is autistic, it’s definitely something to look into if you present with all of these things at once.

So why did it take me so long to get diagnosed? The same bias that exists in media threads through the medical community as well, and because I'm a woman who can discuss the weather while smiling on cue, few people thought I was worth looking into. Even after I was fairly certain I was autistic, receiving an official diagnosis in the US is unnecessarily difficult and expensive, and in my case, completely uncovered by my insurance. It cost me over $4000, and I could only afford it because my husband makes more money than I do as a freelance illustrator — a job I fell into largely because it didn’t require in-person work; like many autists, I have been chronically underemployed and underpaid, in part due to physical illness in my twenties, which is a topic for another day. But it shouldn’t be like this. It shouldn’t be so hard for adults to receive diagnoses and it shouldn’t be so hard for people to see themselves in this condition to begin with due to misinformation and stereotypes. Like many issues in America, these barriers are even higher for marginalized groups with multiple intersectionalities.

It’s commonly said that if you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person. This is why it’s called a spectrum, not because there’s a linear progression of severity (someone who appears to have low support needs like myself might need more than it seems, and vice versa), but because every autistic person has their own strengths and weaknesses, challenges and experiences, opinions and needs. No two people on the spectrum present in the same way. And that’s a good thing! No way of being autistic is inherently any better than any other, and even if someone on the spectrum struggles with things I don’t — or can do things I can’t — doesn’t make them more or less deserving of respect and human dignity.

But speaking solely for myself, the more I learn about autism, the happier I am to be autistic. I struggle to find words and exert fine motor control, but my deep passion and fixation has made me good at art and storytelling anyway. I find more joy watching dogs and studying leaf shapes on my walks than most people do in an entire day. More often than not, the barriers I’ve faced weren’t due to my autism directly, but due to society being overly rigid about what it considers a valid way of existing. My hope in writing this today is that maybe one person will realize that autism isn’t what they thought — and that being different is not the same as being less than. My hope with my fiction is to give autistic children mirrors with which to see themselves, and everyone else windows through which to see us as we actually are.

If you’re interested in learning more about autism or think you might be autistic, too, I recommend the Autism Self Advocacy Network autisticadvocacy.org and the following books:

What I Mean When I Say I’m Autistic by Annie Kotowicz

We're Not Broken by Eric Garcia

Knowing Why edited by Elizabeth Bartmess

Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, PhD

Loud Hands edited by Julia Bascom

Neurotribes by Steve Silberman

(trigger warning: the last two contain quite a lot of upsetting material involving institutionalized child abuse, but I think it’s important for people to know how often autistic children were — and are — abused simply for being neurodivergent).

Thanks for reading 💛

#autism acceptance day #actually autistic

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honeytonedhottie · 23 days

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incorporating luxury⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🌺

this is a remake from one of my older posts in my newer style, im having a lot of run doing post remakes bcuz its a rly good way for me to display my old work to my newer audience, and add on ofc.

when u think of luxury, oftentimes we tend to think of materialistic things like expensive shopping sprees, expensive trips and brands. and although that is luxury, luxury isnt a solely materialistic thing.

luxury is abundance. luxury can be incorporated thru ur habits, the way that u hold and manage urself etc. u dont have to wait until u reach ur financial goals to live in luxury.

SET STANDARDS FOR URSELF ;

set a high standard for urself and the rest will follow. when u pour into urself the way that should, you'll literally exude luxury. luxury is synonymous with self care. when u care for urself the way that u should, and when u give urself princess treatment everyone else will too. treat urself RIGHT.

if u wanna live in luxury or be a luxurious girlie there are STANDARDS that ur environment should meet, the company that u choose to surround urself with, the thoughts in ur head etc. there is a new standard when u decide to live differently.

DECIDE AND DIRECT ;

once u decide what luxury means to you, direct ur focus towards that thing. for example if luxury to u means convenience and a fresh space, invest in organizational tools that'll make ur life more convenient. invest in candles and cleaning products etc. once u find out what luxury means to you -> direct ur money that way

the idea behind this basically is whatever makes u feel the most luxurious or whatever adds luxury to ur life, u should identify it and aim to do that thing more often. that way u can familiarize urself with the luxury that u deserve.

BE INTENTIONAL ;

take ur time and slow down. take ur time to rly process and romanticize and enjoy ur life. experience it. give yourself time to sit with ur thoughts and ponder.

be choosy with everything, the people u surround urself with, the foods that u consume, the products that u use etc.

set aside time for urself to breathe and think about things that are interesting to you. also, choose the words that u say with intention, do everything intentionally to truly EXPERIENCE.

ADAPT A MINDSET OF ABUNDANCE ;

think as IF. nothing is too good for u and u only deserve the best that life has to offer so why wouldn't you let urself experience that? change the way that u think and the rest will follow.

MANIFEST things that are favorable to u. dont ever come from a place of lack. so stop saying things like "i can't afford this" instead say, this doesn't serve me right now i can do x,y, and z instead.

DO AFFORDABLE THINGS IN LUXURY PLACES ;

physically place urself in an abundant area. for example, go to a pretty cafe in an affluent area and do some work there, get some tea or coffee. doing so literally puts u in a different space, and around different people.

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sanguineterrain · 7 months

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Feel like I’m so basic but Jason Todd with a crush and him having zero social skills and just being super clumsy despite being highly competent when he’s in the field. Crush is like real sweet and kind maybe a service worker ✨

anon u are so true and real for this bc jason is definitely an unsocialized cat when he has a crush 💓

jason todd x gn!reader. shyish/anxious jason with a big fat crush. baker reader. annoying customer. the duality of jason todd. 1.6k words.

also i fully believe that silently leaving huge tips as a way to flirt is like. a wayne trait. 100% that family does that bc of bruce.

prompt lists are here! i reblog all fics to @sanguinelibrary

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Business has been slow.

It's not like you expect your cafe to be packed to the rafters all day long, but you've had a grand total of four customers today. One of them only came in to ask where Starbucks was.

Frankly, you're not sure the cafe can afford to stay afloat for much longer. Gotham isn't known to preserve small businesses, and the conglomerates (cough, Wayne Enterprises) are taking over the world anyway.

So today is a reading day. You might even close early.

You're at a table in the back, so absorbed in Poirot's sleuthing that you don't hear the door open. It isn't until you turn the page and look up that you see your resident lurker waiting quietly at the display case. You flinch so hard that you spill iced tea on your jeans.

"Shit," you murmur, grabbing a wad of napkins and patting yourself dry.

Jason (as is written on his coffee cup) looks up from the pastries, teal eyes wide. You smile briefly at him. For such a big guy, his footsteps are astonishingly soft.

"Is everything okay?" he asks, voice rough like he doesn't speak much.

"Yeah, fine. You just startled me—I didn't hear you come in. Were you waiting long? Sorry about that."

"Oh. No, I wasn't. Sorry." He shifts weight between his feet. "You seemed pretty engrossed in your book. I didn't, uh, want to disturb you."

"Oh, hey, don't worry about that! It's literally my job to be here," you say, though you can't help but melt over how freaking sweet that is.

Jason visits you a minimum of twice a week. He's been coming for a couple of weeks. You know a whole three things about him: he's a university student, he pretty much only dresses in red or black, and he's unfairly cute.

At first, you were reasonably wary of him because it's Gotham, and he's so damn quiet. It's a little scary. You thought maybe he was an undercover spy casing the joint. Now you know he's just awkward.

"Slow day?" he asks.

"Slow year, more like. How are you? How was your exam?"

He blinks. "Exam?"

"Didn't you have an American lit exam last week?"

"Oh. Uh, yeah. Wow. Yes, I did. It was okay. Got an A."

"That's great! I knew you'd ace it."

His cheeks turn pink. Okay, you actually know four things about him: he blushes a lot.

You go to start the coffee machine. "Do you think you'll—"

"I-I have to go."

You watch, stunned, as he hurries out the door. That's when you notice the fifty dollar bill in your tip jar.

You don't know if you should bring up yesterday. Jason's back; that probably means everything's fine, right? You're not sure if you said something wrong, though. You've gone over the interaction a hundred times since and you can't figure out why he's so skittish around you.

"Hi. Hibiscus tea, please," he says, stoic as always.

You prepare his order, yesterday's interaction still fresh in your head. You should say something, shouldn't you? Or...

"Sorry about yesterday," Jason blurts, so fast you almost miss it. "Running out, I mean. I was, uh—I forgot something."

Well. Looks like he's going to bring it up for you.

"Oh, you don't have to apologize! If I said something wrong..."

Jason shakes his head fervently. "No, God no. You're perfect."

Your eyebrows shoot up. He turns red this time.

"I mean—not perf—well, you're amazing, don't get me wrong! Except, like, what is perfect, y'know? My brother has gotten into the habit of calling everything perfection like some kind of sitcom character. Alfred will make pie, and Dick'll go, "Alfie, that was perfection." And I feel like it's such an exaggeration—"

Jason's mouth snaps closed. He rubs his forehead.

"Um, I actually have chronic foot-in-mouth disease. It gets really, stupidly bad. Sorry."

You're trying hard not to giggle. You want to smother him in frosting and take a bite.

"You're really sweet, you know that?" you say.

"I'm really not," he says with a sigh.

"Not true. Can you do me a favor?"

"Anything."

You go into the kitchen and return with your latest experiment: matcha cream puffs.

"Do you mind trying these for me? You're not allergic to anything, are you?"

Jason's shoulders hunch. "Are you sure you want my opinion?"

"Of course I'm sure," you say happily. "I trust you."

"You trust me," he repeats quietly.

"Yup!"

Jason takes a puff and bites. He starts to nod.

"It's really good. You're really—all your creations are—yeah. It's good."

You squint. "No notes? Really?"

"They're perfection, as my brother would say."

Fuck, you like him so much.

"Have another one," you say, pushing the tray towards him.

"I shouldn't—"

"Wait! I'll pack you some!" you interrupt, flitting back to the kitchen to get a Tupperware.

Jason helplessly accepts the container of puffs you shove into his hands.

"Let me pay-" he tries to say, but you shake your head.

"Nope! I won't accept payment for these. Not from my favorite customer."

"Your favorite?"

"My favorite," you confirm, grinning.

"Oh." His ears turn pink as he walks to the door, cream puffs in hand. "Uh, right. Thanks. See you tomorrow."

"Jason? Don't you want your tea?"

"Shit. Yeah." He returns to the counter and takes his drink. This he insists on paying for, so you let him, because you do have rent to pay, after all.

"So nice to see you!" you add, because the stiffness in his gait is kind of throwing you off.

He just nods, slipping out the door as quietly as he came.

Today, Jason's in a red workout tank. You have to make the conscious effort to not ogle his arms.

"Hey, Jason!" you say cheerily.

"Hi," he says softly.

"The usual?" you ask, and he looks up in surprise.

"You know my order?"

You gently roll your eyes. "Of course I know your order, silly. Favorite customer, remember?"

"Oh." He looks away, brow furrowed. Then he turns to you and his expression smooths over. "Yes, please. Thanks."

"Sure. Give me one second? I just have to finish decorating some sugar cookies."

"Take your time," Jason says, then goes to skulk by the window.

The door is suddenly swung harder than necessary, thumping the glass.

"Hey!"

You look up from the cookies. A man in a suit is waving his phone impatiently.

"I ordered a dozen muffins. Where are they, huh?" he demands.

"Oh, right! Well, you called ten minutes ago, so they won't be ready till six, sir. Can I get you something while you wait?"

He scoffs and stomps to the counter. You almost back down, but you don't; that's exactly what these bullies want.

"This is exactly why no one eats at dinky cafes like yours. You can't even do this!" he fumes, shoving a finger in your face.

"Sir, like I said, the muffins are baking..."

"I know the city's health inspector personally," the man spits viciously. "One call, and I can—"

"Say one more word."

You blink as Jason is suddenly between you and the customer, stood at his full height. He's all muscle and broad shoulders, looming over the guy. You peek around him.

"What the fuck, man?" the angry customer squawks. "Move!"

"No, you move," Jason says, tone lethal. "Sit quietly at a table and wait for your muffins to bake. Then you can thank the nice baker for waiting on your sorry ass and you're not gonna come back. They have far more patience for entitled fucks than I do."

"Fuck you," the man spits.

Jason calmly closes the distance between them and whispers in his ear, hand like a vice around the jerk's shoulder. You watch as he turns pale, eyes growing wider.

"Sound good?" Jason asks pleasantly, all teeth. The man gapes at him.

Wow. Yeah. This is really doing something for you.

The oven dings. You go to retrieve the muffins, packing them as quickly as possible. You give him the box and the man nods.

"Thanks," he mumbles, then scurries out of the store.

Jason turns to you, and it's like looking at a completely different person.

"You okay?" he asks, posture stiff like he's still prepared for a fight.

You nod, a little dazed.

"Yeah. Wow. Jason, I... you didn't have to do that. I mean, thank you for doing it, but..."

"Hey, that guy was a jackass. And if you have trouble with him or anyone else, call me, okay?"

This side of him stuns you. If you didn't know better, you'd think he had this exchange regularly.

"Call you?" you ask, smiling. "How will I call you if I don't have your number?"

He freezes, eyes wide. "Oh. Uh. Um..."

You lean over, elbows on your counter. He watches you. You cup your hand around your mouth, pretending to divulge a secret.

"This is where you, the cute guy who frequents my struggling cafe, gives me your number."

"You think I'm cute?" he asks.

"Devastatingly so," you say, grinning.

He's quiet for a long moment. Your smile starts to dim.

"Did I read this wrong?" you ask. "If I came off too strong..."

"No!" he says a little too loud. Jason winces. "Sorry. No. I... you're... fuck, I'm not good at this. I don't even really drink tea or coffee, to be honest. I just come in to see you."

"You do?"

Jason sighs. "Yeah. Shit. That's creepy, isn't it?"

You laugh and he visibly softens.

"No, Jason," you say warmly. "It's sweet."

"So can I still ask you on a proper date? Not coffee."

You grin. "That would be perfection."

#jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #jason todd x y/n #red hood x reader #red hood x you #red hood x y/n #batman fanfiction #red hood fanfiction #jason todd fanfiction #coffee shop au #bakery au #dc fanfiction #inbox #blurb

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yumeka-sxf · 9 months

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Seems like this chapter just about wrapped up the Mole Hunt arc. I decided to analyze a bit more than I usually do with my chapter reviews since there was a lot to talk about on the Twiyor front!

When Fiona questioned Twilight about not killing Yuri, he gave his official "for the mission" reason, but slipped up by calling Yor "Yor-san" instead of "Yor Briar." This made it obvious to Fiona (who already knows about him softening) that he's trying desperately hard to cover up those feelings. Even though this would have been a good opportunity for her to imply that she's a better fit for the wife role, she doesn't even try because she knows Twilight would defend "Yor-san" in every subtle way he could.

When he gets home and finds out that Yor doesn't actually have gripes with him, he's relieved of that last load of stress and is finally able to relax, causing him to collapse (similar to the very first chapter when he collapsed after Anya passed the Eden entrance exam). After he realizes how utterly exhausted he is, he can't help but ask Yor to help out with his housework.

Her reply is what really makes everything sink in for him - despite all his attempts to be a flawless spy, she doesn't want him to be that way. She's happy when she can be useful to him and thinks it's bad if he pushes himself to be perfect all the time.

And yet, that's exactly what he has to be in order to survive as a spy. The fact that he had to ask someone for help with simple housework, plus someone telling him that he doesn't have to be perfect, made him recall the feeling he had when he looked into Wheeler's eyes...that he lives in a world where you have to be perfect in order to survive, and having any kind of weakness just won't due.

While Twilight continues to be clueless about Fiona's feelings for him among other things, what he does realize at the end of this arc is his own feelings - that he does have a weakness. He's beginning to understand more than ever that a spy can't afford to be anything but perfect. And yet, his refusal to kill Yuri, which is a result of him caring about Yor (even though he gave Fiona his usual "for the mission" reason, she saw right through it) is conflicting him even more.

I also have to point out how considerate Yor was of Loid's exhaustion - she completely pushed Yuri away, even after noticing he was injured. She didn't even invite him to stay and have tea with them!

What Twilight was about to say to Yor (in his mind) before Yuri interrupted is debatable, but going by his previous line of thought, it was probably something bittersweet like "which is why...once Operation Strix is over, I'll have to leave the Forgers" or possibly something more immediate, where he now realizes how compromised he truly is and so might reconsider the stipulations of Operation Strix even before it's over. Though I think it's more of the former since his thoughts in the shower in the next scene make it seem like he's not ready to do anything drastic yet, but the idea is still gnawing at him.

Fiona had noticed his leaking emotions way back when she was first introduced, but this is the first time Twilight himself is realizing it and not denying it. Whether anything major will change in his actions from now on is yet to be seen. Will there be another aftermath chapter or two with Twilight still being jostled by this realization? Or will things go back to normal now and he'll brush those feelings aside for another day? It seems like Yuri has been totally thrown off the scent, so his identity should be safe for the time being. Will Anya get to read his mind the next morning and finally find out everything that happened? The next new chapter won't be out for another 4 weeks, so brace yourself for a grueling wait!

#spy x family #spy family #sxf #spyxfamily #loid forger #yor forger #twiyor #sxf manga #sxf manga spoilers #sxf spoilers

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kadwrites · 9 months

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a perfect fit | T.S

previous part | next part

or check out the series masterlist

summary ; you and your family are planning the engagement party.

warnings ; arranged marriage trope , soft!tommy, typos maybe?

a/n ; i would love to know what you guys think of this part!

you're sitting on one of the chairs surrounding the dining table, a hand massaging your temple as the other brings the scorching hot tea to your lips, your eyes look at the table, papers and pens scattered everywhere. celest, your sisters in law, your friends and your mom all seem to be talking at the same time and they are so loud

"miriam ? miriam green? no i'm not inviting her!"

"mum ya can't not invite 'er.... she's dad's cousin" celest sighs , rose is asleep with her head on celest's shoulder

"as far as i know he's the best baker in birmingham and we certainly can afford it. so why shouldn't we get a cake?" fiona argues with madeline, tapping the pen against the notebook , the name of the baker and price of the cake written in her messy handwriting

"because we want to save that for the wedding." madeline argues back "we don't really need a cake for the engagement party."

you just sit there , watching them all argue as anna and renee go over the receipts of the dresses they planned to make for the party

"with the baby coming any day now.... i can't risk it. i think i'll have two dresses just in case, that way i'll have something to fit me anyways" renee, motions to her bump and anna nods

you'll let them have their fun and you'll just go over everything once everyone is asleep, you decide. you just stare at them, it's almost like a trainwreck really, you can't look away. while the women of your family are planning the engagement party of the fucking century, your nieces and nephew are all napping on the sofas. you envy that, you miss napping. you actually miss sleeping properly after all this happened

"what do ya think?"

"hmm?" you look up at celest as she stands next to you, showing you the guest lists, at least the ones your family is deciding to invite "i'll take a look later" you look away again, sipping your tea

"tommy said he'll be here right?" celest asks again, a hand on rose's head

you chuckle, you can't believe this is actually happening "yeah, he's supposed to drop by any minute now"

"is he bringing the ring too?"

"mhm." you answer, still observing your family. your engagement ring was done and you needed to see if it fits well.

"are ya okay?" celest crouches down, with rose still in her arms

you turn, smiling softly "yeah , why wouldn't i be?"

"ya seem.... out of it."

"just tired is all, planning this fucking thing is just tiresome" you smile again, squeezing her shoulder gently "i'm fine"

celest stands up, she puts a comforting hand on your head, smoothing down your hair before walking away , she'll probably go put rose down in the crib, the crib that your mother insisted on having in her room

abraham walks in, leaning down to kiss anna on the cheek. her smile is shy and flustered , renee wiggles her brows at anna. then he walks to you, he has his hands in the pockets of his trousers

"your fiancé is here." he nods at you

speak of the devil. you put your cup down "let 'im in." you motion for him to go

and as soon as the women heard his name, they scattered away wanting to give you some privacy , anna helped renee get up from the chair and up the stairs, your mom went up too. and celest stayed in your parents room with rose. madeline and fiona probably went outside.

he's been dropping by often in the past two weeks, deciding on the engagement party.

"hello" he greets you as he walks in, you're still on the chair , your fingers massaging your temple

"hello, thomas."

"is everything alright?" his eyes wandered to the scattered papers on the dining table

"yeah everything is fine" you sighed , your hands drop down to the table, then you pick up your cup again "care for a cup of tea?"

"sure"

you grab the teapot and grab one of the cups around it, pouring his tea in. you place it back on the table

he sat down, sipping his tea as he looked at you , you grab the guest list that celest brought, looking over the names

"your family seems.... excited"

"thats an understatement" you chuckle, grabbing a pen to scratch out any names you didn't want there " 'aven't seen them so excited since the war ended." you mumbled.

"were ya in any relationship before this 'appened ?"

he asked the question so casually , you slowly look away from the paper to look at him "what?"

"were ya in a relationship before we got engaged?"

"why do ya wanna know?" you raise a brow

"just curious" he sipped his tea, his eyes still on you

"no"

"why not?"

you put the paper and the pen down, looking at him again "what kind of question is that?"

"a normal one."

you blink a couple of times, "i 'ave high standards when it comes to dating" you lick your lips before speaking again "i mean had , i guess."

"fair enough."

"what about you?"

"me ?"

"were ya seeing anyone?"

"if i was i wouldn't be getting an arranged marriage now ,would i?"

you shrug, grabbing the paper again "some married men still date"

"im not one of them"

you snort a laugh, still looking at the paper and it was his turn to raise a brow

"what's so funny?"

"nothing."

"ya think i'd do that?"

"yes" you answer rather bluntly as you pick up one of the other papers "gangsters aren't exactly known to be the most loyal of husbands, and ya do 'ave a reputation"

"i do?" a small smile is on his lips "what kind of reputation?"

"a bad one" you mumble "people say that you're a whore."

he chuckled, putting his cup down "doesn't mean i'm a cheater now does it?"

your lips curl up "i guess not."

for a moment a comfortable silence ensues before he stands up, you don't look up, too engrossed in the papers to do so. but your eyes widen when you see him lower to the ground, you slowly turn your head to see him, down on one knee with a velvet black box in his hands, the diamond engagement ring catches the light and it shines . it's probably the biggest diamond you'd ever seen in real life, it's gorgeous

you open your mouth a couple of times but no words come out, your eyes darting between his "tommy what are ya doing?" you finally speak

"what do you think im doing?"

"i don't know."

"would you marry me?" his voice softens, the small smile still on his lips, his blue eyes bore into yours.

"i...." you stutter, letting the paper go , you lick your lips. a laugh escapes you, your heart feels like its going to jump out of its place. your hands shake and you just can't look at anything but his eyes "yes"

he takes out the ring out of its box, grabbing your hand so gently like you're made out of delicate porcelain, sliding the ring on your finger. it's a perfect fit, it's the most beautiful thing you'd ever seen. he brings your hand to his lips, they brush against the softness of your hand , you feel as if that ignited your whole body on fire. his eyes are still on yours.

taglist : @tardisloverz , @optimisticsandwichgladiator , @theshelbyslimited , @illuminwtesz , @goldensunflowe-r , @gruffle1 , @warrior-of-justice , @mgdixon , @babayaga67 , @goblinjnr

#kadwrites #tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby imagine #tommy shelby imagine #peaky blinders fanfiction #peaky blinders imagine #tommy shelby fanfiction #thomas shelby fanfiction

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kremlin · 2 months

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@wikwalker hi sure yes anything to give me an excuse to procrastinate the post i should be writing right now. here are all teh drugs and how to manage them. you can trust me, a drug addict

first of all: https://www.erowid.org/ , erowid always

don't be afraid of drugs, if they're the right drugs, you should do them since they will be a blast regardless and overcoming fear is also good (but outside the scope here)

OK to do as much as you want: alcohol - social benefit greatly outweighs health effects, no reason to avoid if predisposed to abuse since that'll happen sooner or later. what can i say? don't be a fucking dork. when you start drinking, really overdo it as much as possible without dying and get a few real nasty hangovers under your belt so you know how much is the right amount to drink.

weed - innocuous enough to be fine but will make you stupid in the long term. make sure to only buy from a real drug dealer and never some legal institution. cut it out when you're a "real adult". don't smoke weed and watch TV routinely, go out and do things so you naturally grow to hate it. good to go through this as early as possible to minimize the time you spend as a cringe weed enthusiast

i guess those are the only two.

ok to do infrequently (annually): "lsd" - or whatever it is, probably not lsd, blah blah blah, if it works and is sold on blotter its fine and won't make you go nuts or whatever. opt for a better psychadelic imo. see psych rule at bottom of section

mushrooms - better than acid since you know what they are. rule of thumb is to always do more than you think you want. minimum 1/8oz. see psych rule at bottom of post

dmt - if you somehow have a dmt hookup you don't need to be reading any of this. lasts 10 minutes which leads to tendency to way overdo it, don't do this, my favorite webcomic artist is permanently crazy from exactly that. using a crack pipe is also not the uhhhh most dignifying-feeling thing to do either. it's harder than you think.

mdma - for use at electronic music event or rave. overuse causes brain lesions or something.

coke - wait until you're in your 20s, have maxed out your roth IRA for a couple of years in a row, and havent missed a car payment in a similar timeframe. better still if you've worked a very shitty low paying job and know the value of a dollar. if you still find yourself buying candy you're not ready. too expensive to be worth it to get hooked on. know that you are VERY ANNOYING to anyone who also isn't high. don't fuck around with the guy selling it to you. avoid discussing or thinking about business ideas. you can't afford to make it a habit + kinda turns you into a piece of shit after a while, but at least a very interesting one

ketamine - another sick drug that rules, but save it for a special occasion. don't try and go into the k-hole your first time

rule for psychedelics - you get one good strong trip a year and that's it, make it count, always opt for doing a bit more than a bit less. but don't make it a habit, otherwise you turn into a very stupid very annoying "hippy" style cliché and believe in ghosts, aliens, crap like that.

ok to try once prescription opiates/benzodiazepine (xanax), valium, this kind of shit - worth trying so you can go "holy shit, this stuff is way way way too good to ever use responsibly" and then never do again. especially if you're white. for some reason we just can't handle this shit. if a doctor prescribes it to you, idk, that's your call to make.

ayhuasca - this is just dmt in a different form. do some other psychadelics a number of times before you do this. once you realize the whole "substantial visual hallucinations" thing is made up, its time. do exactly this: -buy root online (legal). receive box of dirt -boil dirt into "tea" (read erowid for exact recipe) -take over-the-counter anti nausea medicine or anything that will give you a stronger stomach -drink tea (its nasty as fuck, get it down quick) -have someone bigger than you keep an eye on you for the next five hours. -have the experience, which is absurdly intense, has no bearing to the real world, etc etc. don't be a bitch and throw up, if you do it'll only last an hour or so. again there is no way to provide a consistent description of the experience except that you will meet god. you only ever need to do this once and never again. trust me

peyote/salvia/etc - try em if you want, you'll never ever want to again afterwords. these are drugs for idiot teenagers too lame to get real drugs. imagine being very very sick from poison and utterly terrified at the same time. No good

whippets/nitrous oxide - just find a dentist that uses it and don't bother creating hundreds of pounds of trash on your floor for this crap that lasts ten seconds. you have to understand the extremely short timeframe coupled with the cost makes zero sense. go to a phish concert parking lot and do some people watching -- you do not want to be these people. only use is as a motivator to get routine dental exam. also if you somehow manage to make it a heavy habit your fucking legs stop working, no shit, but they start working again once you quit.

don't ever do heroin/meth/pcp - is is truly a mystery why you should never do these 🙄

synthetic weed/k2/shit from the gas station - it is so funny that they sell this as "weed that won't pop you on a drug test". its not weed. it is some dubious chemical sprayed on yard waste. smoke it to have a terrible time and go nuts. only buy drugs from legitimate drug dealers!

kratom - anyone's guess as to why this is legal but it's heroin for pussies. its still heroin

dxm/cough syrup - do you ever wonder why it is exclusively teenagers robotripping? it's because it sucks ass. is like a cheesegrater on your brain in terms of health effects with repeated usage. you're better than this king

inhalants - these are at the bottom of the list for a reason. do not huff gas. don't huff paint. do not consume computer duster. not fun + fastest way to make yourself a complete, uh, (word i can't say anymore) and then dead

not listed quaaludes- unavailable due to no longer being manufactured. these ruled apparantly

sincis2c - unavailable due to not existing, i just made this up

amphetamines - cannot provide objective take here. they're my albatross, lifelong (posted 4:55am natch)

#posts i will be deleting

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lizzieisright · 1 month

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The happy end to this story! (childhood friends to lovers). Thank you for voting!

Palestine: what can you do

Morning comes way too early and your head is absolutely killing you. You sit on the bed slowly, scared you'll get dizzy, and try to remember how much you drank yesterday.

Instead you're hit with a brick to your face when you remember the end of the night.

Holy fuck.

You can't breathe for a second. Why the fuck did you confess to Abby? Did she kiss you as well? What the fuck? What the fuck happened?

You don't feel like you can even start to unpack all of that in your current state. You take a shower with a slight tremor in your body and keep your head empty: it's not hard when the headache is still pounding at your temples.

You brush your teeth and lazily slump to the kitchen, eager to drink something - dehydration is such a bitch. You make yourself tea and sit on a chair, staring at your table.

It's not true, is it? You had these dreams before when you'd wake up and swear something happened, but then details wouldn't add up and you'd come to a conclusion it was your drunk hallucination. This was probably one of them, right?

Should you text Abby and ask if anything happened?

Yeah, no. You'd rather die.

It eats you alive and if it's really happened, it'd be the end. No way Abby really kissed you yesterday - she probably left and your mind decided to sweeten the pill and played the same tape it plays every time you get too upset. It's pathetic and humiliating, but it makes you feel better. Usually.

It doesn't make you feel better now since your intuition is screaming at you, telling you yesterday was real, but you ignore it, because you can't afford hope.

And even if it was real, what's next? Hey Abby, do you want to break up wi-

The doorbell rings and startles you - and now you're terrified. You don't want to know who is there. (Because you know who it is.)

But you can't ignore the doorbell because it hurts your head way too much, so you go to open the door just to end this awful noise.

And Abby is there, smiling with a bag of a takeout next door she knows you crave on the hangover.

"Hi." She breathes out and there's her usual adoring look you can't handle. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm genuinely considering dying as an option." You joke, but you'd really prefer to be anywhere else than face Abby and yesterday's.. situation.

"Did you wake up not long ago?" Abby makes her way around your apartment to go to the kitchen and you're puzzled.

"Half an hour ago."

So did something happen yesterday or not? Is Abby being normal or is she pretending to be normal? Your dry ramen brain can't figure her out, so you decide to go with the flow and see what happens.

Abby serves the food and you sit down to eat. Your stomach growls and there is disgusting smell of alcohol when you breath out; you cringe and start eating, your mind is still half-empty. You feel like a zombie with no functioning brains and it's better than hearing your anxiety.

"Thank you." You say and take a large bite, because apparently you're very hungry.

"I broke up with Mia."

You choke on your food.

"What the fuck Abby!" You cough and it takes a few minutes to calm down. "You can't just say it when I'm chewing, come on. But also: What?"

"I went to her place just before I came here. We talked and I told her I can't keep dating her. She was upset, but she said she understood."

You blink. Your hands start shaking and it's not hangover. You press your lips together to not smile because Abby's words give you hope.

"So yesterday was real?" You ask, scared shitless.

"Yeah." Abby smiles and reaches out, tangling her fingers with yours. "You thought it was a dream?"

"Yeah." You admit and stare at your joined hands. "Are you being friendly right now?" You are cautious. You can't have any subtlety right now, you need Abby to be clear with you. After yesterday there's no space for blurred boundaries and friendly flirting.

"No, I'm not." Abby chuckles. "You want to hear it?"

"Yes." You sound like you're begging and Abby giggles.

"I'm in love with you."

You fold. Literally. Your body gives up and relaxes in the chair and you take a deep breath. It's real. It's all real, and Abby is here and she is in love with you.

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Oh my god." You squeak under your breath. "Yes. Yes. Fuck. Fuck, I will."

Abby smiles happily and raises your fingers to kiss them. You shudder and you feel like you're going to throw up.

Oh shit.

You run to the bathroom and empty your stomach. Abby runs after you, laughing, but keeping your hair out of the way.

"Really?"

"Shut the fuck up, Abby." You say and wipe your mouth. "I'm hangover."

Abby washes your face for you and kisses your forehead.

"Is it gross I still want to kiss you?" Abby murmurs and you feel your face heat up.

"Incredibly gross. I'll brush my teeth first."

Abby laughs and watches impatiently as you brush your teeth. The moment you finish she is turning you around and kisses you, wet and hungry, and your knees buckle. Abby is not shy and she is not trying to slow down, practically devouring you, pushing her tongue inside your mouth and squeezing your waist as if she is mapping you with her fingers. You're overwhelmed by all of this, but you respond eagerly and hug her shoulders. The kiss tastes like mint, but both of you don't mind.

"I guess your skills improved since we were 14." Abby teases you, but she is smiling happily. You are both panting, and you pinch her side enough for it to be painful.

"And you still drool all over my face."

"Well." Abby smirks at you. "You seem to like it."

"Maybe." You return the smirk and kiss her again, wondering if your God is a still a God if you can reach her?

You think she is.

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x you #abby anderson #abby tlou

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xiaowhore · 2 years

Text

playing hard to get [pt. 3]

premise. he delighted in being the object of your affections. the apple of your eye, your dearest treasure, your one and only darling—

so why aren't you acting like it now?

(or, in which he takes his admirer's love for granted until you decide to play hard-to-get.)

includes. ayato & heizou !

part one. diluc, xiao & childe.

part two. zhongli, albedo & kazuha.

note. i send snippets of wips and post something entirely different. oops. also this is extremely long compared to prior chapters (my favoritism is showing).

ayato dreads arranged marriages. even now, as the yashiro commissioner who understands the importance of forging political alliances, the thought of it is distasteful. presently, he has no person in his heart he'd rather marry, but that doesn't mean he finds the idea of pursuing a loveless relationship agreeable.

so when he first meets you, he's a little surprised. you're fidgety just like he is, but it isn't out of agitated worry; you look excited, can almost be described enthusiastic for the deal.

ridiculous, ayato thinks. you must be one of those shallow people easily wooed by appearances. he knows he's dashing, but he never liked anyone who's only drawn to that part of himself, and he doubts that will change in the future.

(still, as the marriage talk progresses between ayato and your parents, he finds himself distracted by the way you blow on your hot cup of tea, scrunching your nose when it burns your tongue. the moment you notice him staring however, you quickly switch gears and duck your head down in panic, reviewing etiquette lessons in your mind and trying to remember if blowing on your tea is a form of disrespect.)

(cute.)

(no it isn't, what are you thinking.)

ayato doesn't have the free time to afford frequent visits. most of the time, you're the one visiting the kamisato estate, often unable to see him and ayaka receives your presence instead. in the few chances you do catch him in a good time, conversations over tea and pastries are awkward and strained, made even worse by ayato's unwillingness to reply in a sentence longer than five words. he doesn't want you to get any closer to him, and perhaps you'll finally lose interest if he keeps up this charade.

(but sometimes, just sometimes, really, he'll gift you tea leaves he procured from foreign lands. they cost a hefty price, but he always puts a frown on your face, and if they bring back just a quick upturn of your lips, he'll consider it a successful apology.)

yet when you lose interest in him, he isn't very ecstatic.

he should be. you send less letters recently, and your visits to the estate even lesser. there's no attendant knocking on his door alerting him of your presence to interrupt his flow of work, and there's no guest he's obligated to entertain. most importantly, there's nobody he's obligated to marry.

(that doesn't stop him from worrying. doesn't make him feel any better. doesn't make him any less disappointed even when this result was what he was hoping for.)

eventually, rumors start to circulate. they say you're now besotted with a lord in the south, often spotted strolling around together and conversing over shared meals. they say you've fallen out of love for the yashiro commissioner you once begged your parents to let you marry, disillusioned by his stoic nature devoid of affection. they say you much rather prefer the romantic lord gifting you pretty robes and fragrant perfumes, finding comfort in his lavish sweetness opposed to ayato's cold indifference.

for that, he can't fault you at all. this... lord seems to court you properly. what rights does he have to be angry when he's done nothing to deserve your attention? besides, it's a win-win for everybody—ayato doesn't have to go through the arranged marriage he couldn't refuse due to your father's persistence, and you can be wed to a man who's genuinely fond of you, eager to treat you well.

still. still. these irrational thoughts keep plaguing his mind, ugly feelings blooming in his chest when images of you with another man settle in the corners of his subconscious. it's difficult to focus when you could be elsewhere locking hands with someone other than him, cheery laughter spilling from your lips as dappled sunlight makes you glow gold. you could be elsewhere wrapped in another man's embrace, protected from the chilly wind within his heat as he whispers sweet nothings to your ear. you could be...

you could be perfectly happy without him.

ayato hasn't spent much time with you, if at all. you didn't have any meaningful conversations, any beautiful memories you could look back on.

but that was because he didn't give you a chance to. he chose to disregard your existence, deliberately avoided reciprocating your efforts to connect. he didn't see you for who you were, he looked at you as the person he wanted you to be—someone vile, someone shallow, someone easy to despise.

and no matter how many rumors there are reporting how you supposedly begged your parents to establish an arranged marriage between you and ayato, he knew better: you should've been as miserable as he was about it. you never asked to get married either.

at first, he thought you already fell in love with him the first time you saw him; your eyes were sparkling with joy. but now that he thinks about it, perhaps you were just relieved you weren't about to get married to someone twice your age. he looked fairly decent, far from the horrific men you'd hear about disrespecting their spouses when they marry into the family. if it was him, known for his fair ruling in his territory, being married probably wouldn't be too bad.

and ayato had fantastically ruined that impression of himself by being the biggest dickwad possible.

so he hastily makes his move—he sends flowers to your doorstep, writes heartfelt letters referencing love poems. he still doesn't have the time to visit in person, but he gives you jewelry and hairpins he thinks would look good on you and hopes he can see you wearing them the next time you meet. he recalls every piece of information you've shared with him and gifts you books you expressed interest for in the few times you talked, presents you with tea leaves you once told him you wanted to try but haven't gotten an opportunity to due to its rarity.

ayato knows best how rumors tend to exaggerate the subject matter. surely, your relationship with the lord hasn't progressed too far. you've yet to call off the engagement, but ayato shouldn't be complacent either. he should make his intentions clear—he's not giving up on you.

after two weeks of this charade, you rush to the kamisato estate, red-faced and flustered and considerably confused. ayato smiles at the blue crystals adorning your bracelet, familiar with its design. (he picked it out himself, after all.)

“i apologize for my... absence,” you can't find the proper words to say it, gaze flitting from one place to another. you find it difficult to meet his eyes. no matter; ayato finds that shyness cute, too. “i was preoccupied– but!”

your formal tone disappears immediately as you hasten to say, “please don't listen to the rumors about me! i really, really haven't been seeing someone else!”

...???

“i'm very sorry for failing to include in my letters the details about the festival our territory celebrates.” at this, you bow deeply, thus missing the dumbfounded expression on his face, looking incredibly stupid. “in truth, i've been busy with preparations the past month... the lord i've been meeting with is known for the silks his household provides, and we commissioned him our clothes for the festival rites. he's very knowledgeable about perfumes as well, he gave me samples of- oh, i have some on me i thought ayaka might like! of course, i have some for you too, but i can't guarantee you'll like it...” you wince at that, smile turning sheepish. “i did try my best basing off your preferences, but i apologize if it isn't to your satisfaction.”

numbly, he gestures for a servant to accept the gift, fixing his expression into something more blank rather than an obvious display of his thoughts. his very, very messy thoughts, the few he can manage to think amidst the pure shock at the revelation. “i... i see. i appreciate the thought.”

you fidget at his robotic way of speaking, feeling awkward. “did you perhaps... believe the rumors?”

his heart breaks when your voice trails off at the end of your sentence, shrinking to yourself in shame. “absolutely not,” he says. you know, like a liar.

“then that's a relief!” your lips stretch to a relieved smile, punching another spike of guilt to his chest. “i feared you would think lowly of me.”

“ridiculous,” he states, tone unwavering. it takes you slightly aback, and warmth bleeds into his next words, coaxing a deeper red to tint your ears, “i like you a lot more than you think.”

oh, you have no idea.

it doesn't take a detective to know you have a massive crush on heizou.

the way you can't meet his gaze, the flush high on your cheeks, the nervous stutter in your words when you invite him for a stroll around town; heizou would have to be an idiot not to notice. unfortunately for you, he is far from one, so he notices every stare you pin to his figure, every quiver of your lips as you fight back a smile when he looks back, every sign of your elation as he makes his presence known.

and, well. maybe it is a little amusing to watch you squirm. heizou doesn't consider himself a cruel man, but he'd be lying if he said he doesn't enjoy seeing you worked up because of him.

he wonders what you find so charming. pursuing romance has never been a high priority for him, flaunting his appealing traits to potential partners lesser so, and as honorable chasing after criminals can be, he doesn't think anyone would find that attractive in the romantic sense.

more often than not, he's told to be too dedicated in his job, which he would normally take as a compliment, thank you very much, but he does see how it could be a flaw as a spouse. it's pretty much general knowledge he can't guarantee his undivided attention for anyone, even his special person (that he's not very eager to find right now).

once, you commented as such, teasing him he won't be able to get a significant other at this rate. jokes on you—from what heizou can see, you're a willing volunteer now.

before, though, was entirely different. in fact, you couldn't even call yourselves friends until just recently. your interactions were hardly noteworthy, simply exchanging cordial greetings when you ran into each other on the road or sharing the briefest conversations if the situation called for it.

you only became proper friends when you got involved in one of heizou's cases and helped him through it. turns out you were extremely compatible all along, to the extent heizou regretted not befriending you earlier. you're bubbly and cheerful, always making him laugh when you crack the most unexpected of jokes. even in companionable silence, he felt a little brighter and optimistic—you were like a positive ball of sunshine, a great pal to have.

so he received the shock of a lifetime when he first began to notice signs of your budding crush.

your easy-going smiles looked tighter, eyes not quite focused on his face, hands fidgeting behind your back. at the start, heizou thought maybe you did something wrong, or you were hiding something from him...

then you were blushing, asking him if he was free after work. heizou is ashamed to admit his brain had gone completely blank that time, truly empty with the exception of your face flashing in his mind, holy fuck, you're blushing, you've never done that before.

he doesn't remember his response. still can't, even now. but what he does remember is how your face lit up when he said something, eyes sparkly with enthusiasm. you talked about some trendy restaurant that just opened around the block but heizou could hardly hear your explanation over the sound of his heart hammering in his chest. the new revelation had his blood rushing, and he really, really didn't know what to think of you.

weeks later, he finds you cute.

the initial panic wore off and now he enjoys seeing you flail around. you're cute when you're clumsy, tripping over air when you make eye contact with him. you're cute when you get embarrassed, woken up by heizou when you accidentally fall asleep on his shoulder. you're cute when you're shy, stammering as you offer to walk home together.

you're cute, and heizou has to do something about that soon.

not once has he thought to distance himself from you upon realizing your feelings. sure, it felt awkward at the beginning, but if there was something he was certain of, it was that he didn't want to lose you. now, he wanted to be closer than ever, the closest he's ever been to another person.

apparently, you didn't get the memo because you're the one distancing yourself from him.

it's not hard to guess what you're thinking. you're probably getting worried you're being too obvious about your feelings, missing all the blatant signs that point to heizou feeling the same, and feeling the very delayed horror of being rejected.

no, seriously. it's very delayed. you're supposed to be scared first before you think of hitting on someone. all of your concerns are void anyway; heizou has known about your crush ages ago.

you're surprisingly good at hiding. heizou has been missing you by a hair, all of his acquaintances claiming to see you some time around the day conveniently when he isn't present. there are traces of you everywhere, trails from your favorite snack stall to the bookstore you frequent to the flower fields you help take care of, but he could never catch you on time. his frustration is nearly overriding his rationality, even though he knows for a fact putting up wanted posters of your face would be a bad, bad idea.

fine, he thinks. i'll lure you out myself.

and that, he does.

one of the few things he first learned about you is your curiosity; when a mystery piques your interest, you won't rest easy until it's solved. that's why you began to follow him around, watching him dig through secrets and piece together deductions. you have a fascination with the unknown, and heizou knows best how to take advantage of it.

he leaves bait, a simple riddle scrawled on a sticky note posted on your office desk to make you scratch your head. when you take it too lightly and ignore it, he steals your prized hairpin—a birthday gift he gave you a year ago—as a warning. in panic, you provide a correct answer, and the very next day, the hairpin is back on your table, together with a brand new barrette considerably nicer in quality.

the next mysteries continue in a similar pattern; a reward for the right answer, a punishment for the wrong one. he makes you solve puzzles, decipher secret code, unravel riddles—each time, you complain about the work and your determination not to seek out heizou for help chips away, but you've never showed any indication of conceding defeat. you're determined to find the “thief” who's always threatening to rob your possessions if you don't play along his silly games and confront him once and for all.

finally, heizou is finished preparing his greatest puzzle yet—a grand treasure hunt encompassing the entire town. it's a big project involving a large number of people, some of which have probably caught onto his intentions, but heizou wills away his embarrassment; if he lets his shame get to him, then nothing will change.

he's had enough of playing hide and seek.

and as your hand grips the final letter, eyes sweeping over the provocative message, the clock ticks closer to the grand finale—

“i have one last trick; don't worry, if you're lucky, it'll end quick.

beneath the stars, find the treasure by nine. if you fail to catch the prize, i will take back what is mine.”

(a worthless threat—how could he take back his heart that's always been yours?)

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact headcanons #genshin x reader #genshin impact scenarios #ayato #kamisato ayato #ayato x reader #kamisato ayato x reader #genshin x you #ayato x you #heizou x reader #heizou x you

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bi-bard · 11 months

Text

The Angel, The Demon, and the University Student They "Adopted" - Aziraphale & Crowley Imagine [Good Omens]

Title: The Angel, The Demon, and the University Student They "Adopted"

Pairing: Aziraphale & Crowley X Platonic!Reader

Word Count: 2,071 words

Warning(s): headache, mention of break-up

Summary: In which a struggling college student stumbles upon a demon and an angel, who agree to help in any way they can.

Author's Note: to celebrate the announcement of the release date... and give a little comfort to those who are having a rough time in college right now.

----------------------

I had gone to that small bookshop for something to work on a paper.

I had been looking for it online, but nothing was affordable. My best option was going to be to find a small bookshop that didn't charge as much. I simply had my fingers crossed that it would work out.

I must've been walking around with my eyebrows furrowed for a little while because a man walked up to me. He was wearing a beige suit with a-little-too-perfectly white hair. He seemed friendly enough though.

"Can I help you find something," he asked. I paused for a moment. "Sorry, I'm the owner. I can tell you where everything is."

"Oh, okay," I chuckled. I pointed at a part of my paper where my potential sources had been scribbled down. "Um, yes. I'm looking for this... it's for a school paper."

"I see..." he muttered. "Wait here."

I nodded.

I watched him walk behind a set of shelves. There was maybe a minute of waiting before the man walked out again with the book in his hands.

"Oh, you are a lifesaver," I said excitedly. "Thank you! How much?"

He hesitated, staring at the book. As if he grabbed it without thinking about it but now was realizing that he was going to have to part with it.

"How about a deal," he offered after a few moments. "Once you're done with your paper, bring it back here in largely the same condition. No charge and you have no additional clutter to take up space in your home."

I grinned. "Sounds like a deal."

"Well, then, I wish you luck on your paper," he handed me the book

"Thank you," I said. I only took a few steps toward the door before stopping. "I didn't get your name."

He hesitated for a moment before replying, "A.Z. Fell."

"Oh, I thought... Sorry, I assumed this place had been open for a while, so I thought the name on the front was your father or something."

"Afraid not."

"Well, thank you again. I'll see you in a few days."

Which I did.

A few days later, my paper was done, and I walked back into the little bookshop.

"Mr. Fell," I called.

He rounded the corner. "You're back."

"I'm here to return your book," I held up the book as evidence. "Perfect condition."

"Thank you so much," he said as he grabbed it from me. "I hope you get a good grade on that paper of yours."

"Me too," I chuckled. "In all honestly, I don't think I've read it without just a little more of my brain frying."

"Oh no," he mumbled. "I... I could read it over for you. If that would help, of course. I won't force you to give me your paper."

"I... I can't ask you to do that."

"Well, that's precisely why I'm offering," he grinned at me.

I grinned back. "Okay. When would you like me to bring it by?"

"Do you have time now?"

"Um, yeah, sure."

"Here," he led me into a corner of the shop with a small table. "You get your paper put together and I'll make us some tea."

"Okay," I nodded.

As he walked out, I sat down and unzipped my bag, grabbing the binder that held my paper. I also grabbed a red pen just so it was more convenient.

When he came back, he placed a mug in front of me. I grinned and thanked him.

"You can go find a book to enjoy if you'd rather that than watch me read..." he looked at the paper in front of him. "(Y/n)."

"Thank you."

I took his advice. I took the mug of tea and started pacing around the collection of books. I was scanning the spines of the books when the doors of the shop slammed open.

"Angel!"

I jumped at the sound, looking over at whoever had stormed in. Another man, dressed in all black, sunglasses sitting on his face.

"Who are you?"

"(Y/n)," I said. "Who are you?"

"I have told you to not run in here shouting like that," Mr. Fell walked out of the corner that he had been hiding in.

"Who is this," the other man pointed at me.

"I just told you my name," I replied.

"How am I meant to trust you?"

"Why would I lie about my name?"

"Don't know, you tell me-"

"Stop it," Mr. Fell cut him off. "This is (Y/n). I am reading over a paper that they wrote for school."

"Why?"

"Because it's kind," he turned back to me. "(Y/n), this is... Anthony."

"Nice to meet you," I nodded to Anthony.

"Yeah, you too," he muttered, barely paying me any mind as he spoke to Mr. Fell. "We need to talk."

"I am busy-"

"Do I look like I care?"

"I can come back later," I spoke up.

"No, no, please, I promised to read your paper," Mr. Fell stopped me. "Anthony will simply have to wait."

"Excuse me," Anthony snapped.

"You heard me perfectly well," Mr. Fell mumbled. "Please, stay. I'll finish this paper."

Anthony glared at me as Mr. Fell turned around and went back to the table he had been sitting at.

If you had told me that day that the little bookshop was going to become such a place of comfort for me, then I am not sure that I would have believed you.

But it did.

I continued going to that little shop whenever I had the time. I would study, read, or just help with whatever I could help with. Mr. Fell was not a fan of me doing "so much" work around the shop, but I insisted. He had given me a safe space. The least that I could do was help him maintain it.

I grew closer to him as time went on. I even grew closer to Anthony.

Or Crowley, as I soon learned.

I still chuckled from time to time over how they told me their real names. I had been sitting at the table, scribbling notes for one of my courses.

They both stood in front of me silently until I noticed them. I raised an eyebrow at them. That's when they confessed that their names were fake.

When they told me their real names, I felt bad for chuckling. They both looked a bit confused.

"I'm sorry, but... your fake name just used your real name as a last name," I pointed to Crowley and then to Aziraphale. "And yours was your real name with a couple of letters taken out."

"Alright, we get it," Crowley grumbled.

"Thank you for telling me," I added. "I mean it."

"You're welcome," Aziraphale replied. Crowley didn't say the same until Aziraphale looked over at him with a somewhat grumpy look.

The three of us were only closer after that.

It was nice. Having that small support group that I could turn to.

Aziraphale was always ready to help. As soon as I opened the door of the shop, he was ready for whatever assistance I asked for. A hug, an extra set of eyes on an assignment, a quiet place to read a new book.

Crowley acted cold, but I could tell that he cared.

I came in one day with one of the worst headaches I had ever experienced. Aziraphale was gone, but Crowley had been waiting for him. I walked into the building with the heels of my hands pressed into my eyes. After grumpily explaining what was happening, I walked off to put my bag down and hide in the corner.

He waited for a moment before following me.

"Come here," he said.

"What," I asked.

"Come here," he repeated, holding his arms open.

I kept my eyebrows furrowed as I stepped forward. Once I was close enough to him, he grabbed my arm and pulled me forward into a hug.

"Oh," I mumbled before slowly hugging him back. "This is nice."

"Don't call me that."

I chuckled. "I didn't call you nice."

"Oh...," he muttered. "Well... don't get any clever ideas."

"Yeah, sure, whatever you want, Crowley."

I closed my eyes for a minute, holding onto him a little tighter.

I don't know what happened, but I could feel my headache slowly fading away as we hugged. It felt like it was there one minute and gone the next. I let out a sharp breath when it was gone. It felt like a weight had been lifted off of my head.

"Thank you," I said after a while.

"Yeah, whatever."

That may have been the closest I ever got to a you're welcome with him and I was okay with that. For the time being.

I don't know if I truly realized how much Crowley and Aziraphale cared for me until I walked in crying.

I felt like a child. I was crying as I walked down the sidewalk.

When I made it to the shop, I almost sprinted inside.

Aziraphale jumped at the force I used to open the door. Any scolding died as soon as he saw me.

"Oh, dear," he muttered, walking over to me. "What happened to you?"

He pulled me into a hug as I cried. I hid my face in his shoulder, clinging to his suit a bit as I did. I saw Crowley walk out from around the corner.

"What's going on," he asked.

I stepped back. I went to speak but nothing came out.

"Come on," Aziraphale guided me to my normal corner, guiding me to sit down. I dropped my bag on the floor and wiped my eyes. "Take your time."

Crowley sat in the spot next to me while Aziraphale stayed standing.

"There's... There's this guy," I explained. "I... We were seeing each other for a little while. We went on a few dates. I thought... I thought it was going well. And then, he just... changed. And he sent me this."

I tossed my unlocked phone on the table. Aziraphale grabbed it first. I heard a disgusted sound escape him.

"That is just... despicable," he muttered, placing the phone down.

Crowley reached out and grabbed the phone. I saw his face twist in disgust as a reaction.

"I think he sounds like a waste of time," he said as he placed my phone down. "It's stupid to waste an ounce more of your time on him."

"Crowley!" Aziraphale was fast to scold him.

"What?"

"Now is not the time to insult (Y/n) about their relationship!"

"I'm not! I'm only insulting them if they decide to spend any more time on this person. What I did was just an example of bluntness."

Aziraphale gave Crowley a look before turning back to me with a soft grin. "I am going to make you some tea. You just relax. And Crowley..."

Crowley smirked at him, an eyebrow raised.

"Be nice."

"I am not nice."

"Well, maybe now is a good time to try."

Aziraphale turned around and walked away from the pair of us.

There was a pause between the pair of us before I could speak up.

"Do you actually think that I'm stupid for wasting time on this guy," I asked quietly.

Crowley let out a sigh as he sat up a little bit straighter, tilting his head so he was looking me in the eye. "Not as stupid as he was for leaving you."

I felt a grin form on my face. He leaned over and kissed my head before standing up.

"I'm going to get you something a little stronger than tea."

"I don't drink-"

"And I clearly meant chocolate."

I chuckled and shook my head. "Thank you, Crowley."

"You're welcome."

He walked out of the little nook in the corner.

As he did, I leaned my head on my folded arms on the table. I felt my eyes slowly shutting. I felt bad because of what the pair were off doing, but I couldn't help it. It had just been such a long day. I couldn't help it.

As my blinking got slower and slower, I found myself thinking about how lucky I was to be in that situation.

I had never felt as safe as I was when I spent time in that little bookshop.

I would never be able to thank Crowley and Aziraphale for that.

But I would never stop trying to do so.

----------------------

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#aziraphale imagine #fanfiction #x reader #imagine #good omens imagine #good omens fanfiction #good omens x reader #aziraphale fanfiction #aziraphale x reader #crowley x reader #crowley imagine #crowley fanfiction

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grandlinedreams · 6 months

Note

Hey, um I love your works, especially the angsty-themed 😭. Anyway, here's the prompt :

We know that Law is a very private person, and he just doesn't want people to see any type of affection between him and the reader. So imagine like things get hectic, or like he's too focused on his long-term planning. He becomes cold and indifferent, and the reader is not an exception even if the reader is simply willing to help. Yes, he's a private person, but everyone already knows that the reader is his partner. His crew, or maybe the og member that is older than him, are getting uncomfortable and reminding (or rather scolding) him for his behaviour to the reader. Maybe the reader overheard their argument and gets sad because the reader has tried not to take his reaction personally, but it's not a good sign when others have enough. This ends with Law's realization that his crews support their relationship and wish the best for them, showing affection in front of them won't get him teased or even annoy his crew.

Thank you, Love 🫶

Hiya papaya!! Sorry that it's taken me so long to get to this, but I hope I can do this justice for you!!

[Heads up!: Law being a tiiny bit of a red flag, unhealthy coping mechanisms, hefty touch of angst, established relationship, hurt/comfort]

"Is that for captain?"

Looking up from where you're setting things on the tray to carry, you find Penguin watching you and you nod.

"How is he? We haven't seen much of him lately."

You hesitate. Penguin knows Law even better than you do, as do Shachi and Bepo ㅡ they're from a chapter of his life you've only ever gotten brief comments about.

"You know how he gets when he's figuring out a plan," you sigh, and Penguin nods. "I'm going to take this to him."

"You're the best at cheering him up," your crewmate calls after you as you walk away, and your fingers curl around the tray.

You wish that was true, that you had an innate knack for easing Law's burdens the way the others seem to think you do. And maybe you did, at one time ㅡ but not lately.

You can't even tell anyone that it's been days since Law even talked to you. It's been a cycle of going to bed without him, waking up alone, and swapping out plates of barely touched food and drink for new.

You know that this is what happens when he gets focused on something, have seen it before ㅡ but it hurt a little less when you weren't his partner. You know you can't expect him to immediately tell you everything, but telling you nothing isn't fair, either.

You knock, then nudge the door open with your hip. Law hasn't moved from where he'd been when you woke up, nor does he look up when you approach.

"I made grilled salmon this time," you say quietly, glancing at the carefully shaped onigiri. "And tea."

Steam curls off the top, but Law doesn't so much as glance your way. This too has not been unusual, but again, it digs the blade further into your chest.

Have you done something wrong? Surely there's more to it than just being busy for him to shut you out so completely.

You turn to leave, stilling when there's finally, finally a murmur of your name from your boyfriend. Your heart leaps, and you turn, small smile on your lips. "Yes?"

He still isn't looking at you. "Stay in the crew bunkhouse tonight. I can't afford to be distracted right now."

Maybe it'd be better if he yelled at you. If he'd be angry with you, be something with you ㅡ because the flat tone and way he still won't actually look at you hurts far worse than anything else.

"Oh," you say softly, "...of course."

You shut the door behind you, back pressed against it as you take a few steadying breaths, willing yourself not to cry. You won't, not when it will get you scolded if he finds out ㅡ so you close your eyes and count to ten, then pull away from the door.

You can do this for him, give him his space, support him from the edges of that barrier he's made around himself.

You can, and you will.

ㅡ

"Not that we aren't happy to have you here [Name], but..." Clione squints at you. "What are you doing here?"

You look up from where you're pulling back the blankets of your bed ㅡ a bed you haven't slept in for months, as your mind is so gleefully cruel in reminding you. "What do you mean?"

"He means that you're usually with captain," Ikkaku says, watching you with a look of gentle concern.

You're not sure how to answer that and you fumble, fighting hard against the flush of your cheeks. "How do youㅡ"

"You're not as subtle as you think," Hakugan chimes in. "I know captain won't say it, but we've all pretty much figured it out already. Not much you can hide on the 'Tang."

He has a point. Ikkaku is still watching you, her head tilting.

"So...is everything okay?"

You blink, fingers curling against your blanket. "Everything is fine," you say, even though it's far from it. Though they may know about your relationship, you highly doubt that Law would be pleased if they knew about any issues. "I just felt like sleeping in here, that's all."

It's clear none of them believe you, sharing a brief look as you slip underneath your blanket and roll onto your side. It's strange now, going from the comfort of a bed shared with someone to alone ㅡ but if Law needs you to do this, you can do this.

You don't sleep well, not at all ㅡ and when you've finally had enough of tossing and turning, you slip out of bed as quietly as you can, mindful not to disturb your crewmates.

Machinery hums beneath your feet as you pad down the narrow hallway, turning the corner ㅡ and nearly bumping into a firm chest.

You stumble back, balance corrected by the hand that reaches out to grip your shoulder ㅡ familiar warmth, tanned fingers stamped by familiar tattoos.

Law.

It's the first time he's touched you in the better part of a week and a half, and you almost hate yourself for how badly you want to beg for more. He doesn't even have to kiss you ㅡ just a hug would do.

You miss him.

Law's lips part like he's going to say something, but the creak of a door opening makes him tense ㅡ and reality washes over you like an icy bucket of water.

So you do what you have to ㅡ you dhrug his hand off of your shoulder, curve your lips into a smile you don't feel, and take a step back.

"Good morning, captain," you tell him, ignore how it rips your chest open to be so formal with him and slip around him to begin your own day.

ㅡ

"Did something happen between you and [Name]?"

The question makes Law tense from where he's putting away medical supplies from the latest supply run, glancing at Shachi who'd volunteered to help him. That, he supposes, should have been his first clue. Not that Shachi isn't helpful ㅡ but that he has an agenda of his own.

Law looks away. "I don't know what you mean."

Shachi huffs. "Don't play dumb, captain." He knows he's treading the line of insubordination, but there's only so much he and the others can take of this. "We know you're together."

Law stills.

"[Name] didn't tell us anything," Shachi continues. "We figured it out. So don't be mad at them."

Law is quiet, trying to process the other man's words before he says slowly, "How long have you and the others known?"

Shachi shrugs. "Couple of months." His tone softens, though it still carries an edge of scolding. "You can't just shut everyone out like that, captain. Especially not if you're in a relationship with someone."

Law wants to argue, say that he didn't ㅡ but he did. Pushed you as far as he could, made you keep your distance. He'd backtracked on months of progress, of affection and trust ㅡ and called you distracting.

Ans you'd taken it all in stride. You hadn't gotten angry, hadn't fought with him ㅡ simply nodded, smiled, and let him treat you as he pleased.

You'd let him hurt you, something he'd promised he'd never do ㅡ

"Finish putting this away for me," he tells Shachi, who watches as Law leaves the storage room without looking back, and he grins.

"About time."

ㅡ

You stir to the feeling of being carried. That's funny, you don't even remember falling asleep ㅡ but you must've, curled up on the couch with a book.

You squirm, and the arms around you tighten as your eyelids flutter. "Waking up?"

Your eyes snap open. "Law," you say, staring up at your boyfriend ㅡ or at least, who you hope is still your boyfriend. "What are you doing?"

"You fell asleep on the couch," he says, "and I'm taking you to bed before you end up with a crick in your neck from sleeping like that."

"Oh." You study the curve of black ink on his chest. "To the bunkhouse?"

"No, to myㅡ" He stops, corrects himself. "Our room."

That gives you a glimmer of hope, allows for you to snuggle further against him, which relieves him in turn. You aren't angry with him ㅡ both a blessing and a little bit of a curse, brcause you have every right to be.

As if sensing his thoughts, you sigh softly. "I'm not mad at you."

"You should be." He nudges his door open, shuts it behind him before continuing towards the bed. The bed that's been far too cold over the last couple of days without your presence.

You cling to him, even after he sets you down, coaxing him to lay next to you. "I'm not," you insist again. "Just wish you'd trust me a little more. I want to help, Law."

Your fingers brush his cheek, and he reaches to grasp them, presses soft kisses to your fingertips. "I know. I need to work on that. I shouldn't have shut you out like that, it wasn't fair to you."

You press closer. "We can work on it together," you say, lips against his collarbone, sweet kisses that make him shiver. "Right?"

"Right," he agrees softly, pulls you to him as close as he can, wraps himself around you. "Together."

#ㅡmine.#one piece scenario #one piece x reader #trafalgar law x reader #law x reader #anonymous #–ml: law.

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darkfire359 · 7 months

Text

Izzy and the Myth of the Perfect Victim

One thing that's often bugged me about people saying "Izzy got off on it" about Ed cutting off his pinky toe is how then they proceed to assume "and that makes it okay" (or "Izzy is undeserving of sympathy"), as if that somehow follows at all.

I've spoken before about how I actually DO read Izzy as feeling positively about the interaction—and how I think this makes the scene even more tragic, because it means Izzy was so desperately miserable before that he thought something like this had to be preferable to the status quo. Personally I think that having a toe cut off would be too painful to be arousing, even for a pretty extreme masochist. But even if it was, at the end of the day, Izzy's still going to be missing that toe for the rest of his life.

Plus, even aside from from the permanent effects... people can still be physically aroused by things they find deeply traumatic. It's pretty victim-blamey to imply otherwise. And regardless of how much awe and hope Izzy might or might not have felt, I think it's pretty obvious that he definitely felt fear. Izzy now knows, with absolute certainty, that he's not safe in his own bed anymore, not at all. Even if he doesn't act traumatized, and even if he thinks the sacrifice was worth it, it'd still be a hell of a price to pay.

...Which brings me to the clip from earlier today. One of the things that struck me about it was how Izzy isn't being nice. He's being mean and giving the crew objectively unreasonable orders that they hate. And the crew STILL reacts by seeing underneath that, seeing how much he is hurting and trying to offer support.

It was really refreshing to see, because Izzy cannot afford to stop and cry and ask for help. He doesn't think it's safe to be vulnerable around other people, and he's probably right—it's obvious how much Izzy doesn't believe in the orders he's shouting, but he still goes at it with a kind of terrifying desperation. Maybe Izzy not getting the crew to obey orders is what causes Ed to take off more toes. Or maybe he simply thinks that if he doesn't do his job, if he's not useful, that he'll simply be discarded. (Ed might care about Izzy a great deal, but for all Izzy knows, the only reason Ed saved his life at the end of e9 was because he needed Izzy to fetch him tea.)

Izzy reacts to a lot of the stress in his life in messy ways, and while that's not great, it also doesn't make his suffering any less real. No one is obligated to reach out to help the angry, shouty first mate who insists that he's fine... but it's really wonderful when they do. People are still worthy of compassion even when they can't be the perfect victim.

#izzy hands #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd season 2 #ofmd spoilers

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honeytonedhottie · 4 months

Text

incorporating luxury⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🎧

when u think of luxury, oftentimes we tend to think of materialistic things like expensive shopping sprees, expensive trips and brands but luxury isn't only materialistic, luxury is abundance. luxury can be incorporated thru ur habits, the way that u hold and manage urself etc. u dont have to wait until u reach ur financial goals to live in luxury.

whats the standard : set a high standard for urself and the rest will follow. when u pour into urself the way that should, you'll literally exude luxury. luxury is synonymous with self care. when u care for urself the way that u should, and when u give urself princess treatment everyone else will too. treat urself RIGHT.

be intentional, take ur time and slow down. take ur time to rly process and romanticize and enjoy ur life. experience it. give yourself time to sit with ur thoughts and ponder.

abundance mindset : think as IF. nothing is too good for u and u only deserve the best that life has to offer so why wouldn't you let urself experience that? change the way that u think and the rest will follow. MANIFEST things that are favorable to u. dont ever come from a place of lack. so stop saying things like "i can't afford this" instead say, this doesn't serve me right now i can do x,y, and z instead.

do affordable things in luxury places : physically place urself in an abundant area. for example, go to a pretty cafe in an affluent area and do some work there, get some tea or coffee. doing so literally puts u in a different space, and around different people.

treat urself regularly : get urself little treats, buy urself the things that u want bcuz u deserve nice things

#advice #dream girl tips #dream girl #self development #self improvement #self growth #self care #self love #law of assumption #manifestation #luxury #girlblogger #hyper femininity #honeytonedhottie #dream life #lifestyle #manifesting

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harrysmimi · 9 months

Text

After Show

Synopsis: Harry and YN finds some alone time after one of his shows to catch up

CW: Smut

Series Masterlist | More of my work

One thing YN was so grateful for were the opportunities she gets to travel now more freely.

It gave her a weird ich, even to think about going to a different country alone. Especially when her family doesn't really seem to care about her existence. She feared for her safety because apparently we still live in a world where no one, especially women can't walk alone.

So, when Harry offers to accompany her, she'd now learnt to taked up the offer. Of course only if she can afford the trip, as she doesn't like to rely on him for anything. She's also gotten more confident traveling alone. She'd learnt to get out of her comfort zone and actually talk to people other than just asking for their coffee orders and serve them.

That also gave her a sense of acceptance about herself as she found people who went through, or are going through similar life situations as hers. Yeah, she loves her friends, Alec and Brielle, she would never trade them for anyone else. But it's nice to make mew acquaintances.

Today, she was going to see Harry after a long time. She had unfortunately missed his birthday this year as her family was nice enough to drag her along with them to their relatives' wedding. It was two week affair. And she hadn't seen him since the after new year's.

She saw him at his concert venue directly, with her luggage bag in hand. He had just gotten off doing the soundcheck. He was surprised because he was supposed to meet her back at his (their!) hotel room, her flight was supposed to be delayed which didn't happened and she got to see him early. Least to say he attacked with a bear hug, as she ran towards him and with her limbs wrapped around him.

"I missed you so much!" She mumbled, her face resting in the gap between his neck and her arm.

"I missed you so much too baby!" He scoffed happily, holding onto her tightly so she doesn't fall straight on her butt. She wouldn't let go. Honestly, he doesn't want her to either. "You good?"

"Mhmm." She nodded, and jumped back on her own two feet. Her arms slipped to wrap around his torso as she looked up at him. "Better now. With you."

"Oh my god, you need to stop flirting with me. I'm engaged for god's sake!" He rolled his eyes jokingly.

"I miss you too much when you're gone!" She snuggle her face into fabric of his hoodie. Harry sighed, slipping his fingers through her hair he massaged her scalp gently.

"I miss you too baby." He whispered, "just a month and we'll be getting and off to our honeymoon, then I'm all yours! For now let's go to my green room." He dragged her and her luggage along with him back stage to his green room. "want a cuppa baby?"

"Sure!" She nodded and looked around his room. The sofa was different but the pillows were same, his humidifier, clothes box, his own suit case with regular clothes. It was felt like him and it felt like home to her. "It's cold here, isn't it?"

"Yeah, a little. The AC's on." He said, "don't feel it while I'm performing though."

"Thank you!" She took the cup of tea he gave her and sat next to her.

"How was your flight?" He asked, his hand rested on her thigh as he scooted closer to her.

"It was fine." YN nodded. "I have to tell you something though!" She placed the hot cup of tea to the side.

"What is it, baby?"

"You remember we talked about trying for a baby, right?" She started off, "well, ummm... I talked to my gynaecologist and my physician, I can get off birth control and we can see from there. They have to change up few of my medications like the painkillers I take for my arthritis and start with prenatal vitamins."

"You sure that's fine with you, baby?" He asked, "changing up the medications and all? I know they'll have to cut off a few things which help you, I don't want you in pain all throughout that time. Being pregnant is hard as it is."

"I don't know." She shrugged, "I have never been pregnant before. But we can see."

"Only if you're so sure about it." He sighed not knowing what to say further, "or we have other options we can opt for always."

"Okay..."

"Don't be upset, love!" He sighed, "I said we have other options only if it doesn't work put of us, okay? I just want to make sure you're fine."

"I am." She assured him.

"Okay." He smiled and placed a tender kiss on her cheek, holding her close to him, "would you like to practice baby making after the show then?"

"I would love to!" She chuckled, giving him a kiss on his mouth. Harry pulled her in before she could try to retrieve, buttoning his mouth back on hers. His hand wandered down to her hips back up inside her shirt rather quickly. "Harry, not here please." She managed to speak up, "anyone can walk in on us."

"Yeah, I'm sorry." He sighed, "just missed you so much!"

"I missed you too." She cooed.

They both cuddled for next two hours till he had to get ready for the show, having a nice baby talk. YN fell asleep there.

"Hey baby, do you wanna wake up?" He gave her arm a soft squeeze.

"Hmm?" YN wome up confused.

"Do you want to wake up? I'm about to go on stage in a bit." He shared.

"How long did I sleep for?" She sighed feeling groggy from being woken up from deep sleep.

"A couple of hours."

"Oh, I'm sorry." She sat up, "and yes I'm up now. Want to see you perform."

"Yeah?" He smiled, "well, I have twenty minutes if you want to change to freshen up or something?"

"Yeah, I need to pee. Where is the toilet?"

"The left door." Be pointed behind him. "Wait!" He pulled her back to steal a quick kiss. "Chop-chop baby love." He smack her bum but recieved one right after. "Ouch!"

"Yeah, ouch!" She yawned walking to the bathroom.

......................................................................

"Last kiss and I'll be out!" Harry promised as he stole another kiss from his missus.

"Harry, stop hogging your missus you need to be on the stage, now!" Tom yelled at him.

"Yes!" Harry yelled back. "Stay safe, okay?"

"I will." She nodded, "go break a bone!"

He felt another smack on his butt. "You're gonna pay for it." He challenged her before he was ready to run out.

"Sure." She rolled her eyes and made her way to the little VIP area by the stage where a few of Harry's industry friends were going to be.

YN's not had a good time with Harry's industry friends except the rest of 1D boys and his immediate work friends like, Jeffery and his wife, Tom, Tyler and the Love Band, well in short his immediate circle of friends. She still had a good amount of amazing people to hang out with whilst her soon-to-be husband worked.

Harry came up on the stage, YN was stood at the side back stage where she can watch him perform. He's like a toddler running around the stage, stumbling and even falling sometimes. Throughout he kept looking at her and smiling.

He's indeed very happy today, especially now his soon-to-be wife is by his side.

He was so happy that he still had the adrenaline pumping through his body when they got back to their room hotel.

"Ow!" YN gasped when he pinned her to the wall, one shoe off as she was stopped by him. He smeared his lips over hers, gathering her hands behind her back. She knew exactly where this was going to go and she didn't mind at all.

It reminded her of their first time. Similar situation, he had just gotten home from a heavy workout session all sweaty. Leading her to his bedroom upstairs, leaving her on the bed for a moment before he went and washed his hands. He debunked that thing for her which she always watched in the movies. And he gave her a head. That's all they did that night. And oh boy did she enjoyed every milliseconds of it, and still remember. YN shocked herself with how comfortable she is with him now versus she was the first time around.

He took off his jacket and threw it on the floor as he picked her up with his hands on her bum. He made his way to the bed, placed her carefully on the mattress as he managed to fit between her thighs. He broke the kiss to give her a breather.

"I missed you so much!" He mumbled leaving a chaste of sloppy wet kissed down her jawline to her neck. A moan slipped through her mouth when she felt his hand on her breast. He lifted his head up to press another kiss on her mouth. "Is it alright if go down on you?"

"Wait..." She stopped him, "haven't shaved down there."

He looked at her in disbelief, "does it look like I care, baby!" It wasn't a question though, "still okay?"

"Mhmm." She nodded, feeling a shiver run down her spine. She missed him as well, in every way. But this not their usual thing after being away for months. They usually get a take out, watch TV or just catch up because Harry always tired and jet lagged. Even though he's a horny animal, she's suggest against his needs and make him rest first.

Her man doesn't like to rest.

With one last kiss on her mouth he got to unbuttoning her jeans and taking them off with her knickers. She layed there vulnerable, visibility wet and dripping. Before she could get another moment to get awkward his mouth was on her clit. As much as he loves to make her come with just his mouth, she loves that too.

Feeling his warm tongue move against her already sensitive and swollen bud of nerves, how his fingers occasionally slip inside of her wet hole. Making her squirm under him. Just to replace his digits with his tongue. He's a skill full man.

"Oh, I'm so close!" She muttered with her voice now becoming more breathy and heavy. It's been what feel like an eternity but mostly because they've been away for so long from one another. The feel of his warmth tongue and his digits now pumping inside of her was pushing her just closer to the edge of her orgasm.

"You gonna come for me, baby?" He asked before he gave her clit another hard suck all the while pumping his fingers in ger pussy, "come for me, yeah?" It wasn't long until she was reaching her orgasm. "Was that good?"

"Amazing!" She chuckled, his weight on top of her as he kissed her cheek moving to her neck. "It tickles."

"I love you."

"And I love you more."

"Not a chance!" He scoffed jokingly, "I love you more. And I am sweaty."

"I don't care, I've missed you!" With her arms around his neck it was enough of a que for him to kiss her again.

"Wanna hop in the shower with me then, baby?" He suggested, finally giving her a moment to breathe.

"Mhmm." She nodded. He briefly crouched to take her off her shoe which he barely gave her a moment to take off herself. Slipped off his shoes as he guided her to the bathroom.

"Is that my hoodie?" He realised-- rather late-- she was wearing his black hoodie with 'DAMN.' written on it as he washed up his hands.

"Our hoodie you mean? Yes." She admitted.

"Cheeky!" Harry chuckled, "c'mere." He placed his hands on her hips he propped her up on the wash besin counter. "Want this off?"

"Yes please." She nodded. Despite him being careful, the fabric got caught in her necklace. "Whoops!"

"It's alright." He fixed it quickly as she sat there giggling. It was like the very first time, how her shirt caught up on her earring and she apologised for laughing at that silly thing. "Remember how flustered you were the first time?" He pressed a kiss on her cheek and chin with his arms wrapped around her naked torso.

"Still embarrassed about tha--" her body shuddered feeling his fingertips run feathery strokes on her spine, wetness in between her legs growing once again.

"Still find it to be the most adorable thing." He moved down to her to her neck, leaving a trail of feathery kisses on her warm skin, finally he looked up to place firm kiss on her mouth, "it makes everything feel so much more better. Remember how I got a cramp in my leg the other day?"

"Yeah, you were screaming in a high pitched voice." She giggled.

"Well, I'm not embarrassed about that because it was my fault I didn't drink enough water that day." He explained, "we can have a little laugh you know." With that be picked her up and walked in the shower to place her back on her feet carefully. He took a moment to shed his pants and boxers, the evident kind of hard on of his was now on a full show.

"Harry it's too cold!" She gasped feeling the water fall over her body.

"If I up the temperature, we're going to be boiled by the end." He pointed out.

"It's not that hot!" She argued, and turned rhe heat up just a tiny bit. "Please?"

"It's summer!" He groaned in defeat. She still kept on her cheeky puppy face to convince him as be buttoned her mouth on his standing on her tippy toes. "You're lucky I love you."

"The luckiest one." Her hand slowly crept downwards over his chest and pecks.

"Cheeky!" He kissed her her again. He still enough of her, he hopes it stays that way. Just as he was about to say something, he felt her warm hand wrapped his hardene penis. "Fuck, fuck!"

"Can we go now?" He asked, "just missed you so much!"

"Yes!" She nodded, as she did his hand was behind her knee lifting her leg up at the same time pushing her against the shower wall. Slowly slipping in through her folds. Just heavy breathing to be heard, especially from Harry. Low grunk and cussing in his voice which only grew deeper.

Air in her lungs gor sucked out when he started moving. His hard and deep thrusts making a new rhythm, making her wrap her arms around him for support.

"God I missed you so much!" His forehead rested on her, "so warm for me." It wasn't enough, he slip out, turned her around to slip right back in her. He picked up his pace, making her orgasm right again.

Least to say, they spent about half an hour there.

......................................................................

"Can we order Pizza?" YN asked, as she tied her bathrobe tie around her waist. Harry had already placed her back on the counter.

"Of course baby, which one do you want?" He was already walking out to grab the hotel phone.

"A small cheese one, thank you." He ordered for the pizza and went back to her, "wanna help you with that." He stopped her as she was about do the last few steps of her skin care. Well, it was just four steps, step was done in the shower. Last two were serum and moisturising.

Harry loves to pamper her.

"Here lemme do that too!" She pulled her Fiancé back towards her caging him in between her legs.

YN placed a few dots on the moisturiser on his cheeks, his forehead, his chin and lastly on his nose for comedic purposes. She proceeded to work the product in his skin, his prominent stubble was poked the skin of her palms. He looked like a little kitten being petted, as she ran her thumbs on the apples of his cheeks.

"Done!" She announced.

"Do you want to be little spoon?" He asked as he picked her up again with one on her back and other behind her knees.

"You know I'm never going to say no to that." She booped his nose, "and you got to let me walk, bestie."

"Just fucked the shit out of you and you're calling me bestie?" He cocked his eye brow up carefully placing her back on her feet just for her to cling back onto him. She tried her best to stand on her wobbly legs, but she was scooped right off her feet and carried to their shared bed.

"I loved it though."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!" She nodded. But they were interrupted by the room service.

"The pizza is here, your majesty!" He presented her the pizza in a grant way along with a bottle of water, though he took a sip of it first. "Asked them put extra cheese on it for you my love."

"Thank you!" She grinned.

Harry lied next to her on his spot over his tummy, dressed in his purple bathrobe. "So, about the baby?"

"Hmm?"

"Are we good now, or do we have to wait till to start trying?"

"Still need to get off birth control." She shared.

"Wait, doesn't that help you with your period?" He realised.

"Kind of, but I think I can go without those now, it's complicated. So these other medications for my arthritis made my period have rave parties every month, it should be good as I'd have to stop taking those meds and switch to something else." She explained, offering him a bite of her pizza which he accepted. "Do you want to go with me to the next appointment? It's after the tour is finished."

"Of course I'd love to go with you darling." He agreed, "and about the wedding. Did you find a dress yet?"

"No..." She pouted, "my grandma doesn't want me to get a white dress."

"Why so, isn't that the traditional colour?"

"Not in India." She smiled sheepishly, "well, everyone does whatever they want now-a-days but my grandma's a little old fashioned. And white is worn at funerals generally."

"Oh, it's so different everywhere then!" He never thought about it until now, "what colour do you want to get then?"

"I want a white, but ahe wants me to get a red one. She said 'You're not having your funeral, you're getting married', it pissed me off. Not like she's paying a single penny. Just not going to take her or my mum to the next appointment at this boutique Brielle found." She shared mocking her grandma's way of talking, giving him yet another bite of her pizza and he was eating it. "Like she's ever going to be invited to either of those."

"Hey, don't say that!" He gasped.

"Right, she won't live that long anyway."

"Oh god, you're a meanie." He gasped again, "big, big, big meanie!"

"Yeah? And that old wrinkly lady isn't?" She chuckled, "she was trying to find me a guy at my sister's. I was fourteen years old!"

"Touché."

"Yeah, and she did. A thirty-two year old man." She added. "Luckily my parents got minds of their own and stood up for me."

"What the fuck!"

"Yeah." She nodded. "He was rich actually, he owned a big finance and insurance company in Saudi."

"So he is rich, rich?" He was stunned.

"Yup, a turn of about eighty-five mil to one billion." She shared, "he died though, Cardiac arrest, five years ago."

"A big loss." He scrunched up his nose.

"Meh, I don't care." She rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, and now you've a Fiancé who's a decent, indie singer." He nodded, "worth it."

"You are anything but Indie, darling." She laughed. "My wait was worth though, now I can be a trophy wife I want to." She leaned back over the fluffy pillow.

"Oh definitely wouldn't mind that." He agreed and scooted closer to sit next to her taking a yet another bite of the slice in her hand, maintaining a eye contact.

"What in the Italian Christian Grey!" She almost choked on the dough in the mouth.

"What's gotten into you today?" Harry laughed, he fetched water just in case. "Being so funny, did you get accidentally drunk?"

"That was sexy not gonna lie." She shared ignoring his remarks.

"Well," he blushed.

"Awh, look at you blushing, my shy baby!" She cooed leaning forward to kiss his cheek. Just just make him giggle again as he chewed on the fold.

Alas he pulled himself together and draped his arm around her shoulder to bring her closer to him. She was just too busy dipping the crust in the complimentary cheese dip.

"Where do you fancy going to for our honeymoon?" He asked. To be honest they planned anything of their honeymoon. Harry wants it to be special and somewhere she haven't been to before, which is a lot of places. He's just lucky he gets paid to travel and perform in diffe parts of the world.

"I don't quite know yet," she spoke with her mouth full of food, "is there anywhere you want to go?"

"I want to know where you want to go, baby." He pushed the baby hairs off her face, "just want to listen to you with this."

"Finally!" She gasped dramatically. Harry has taken almost everything about the wedding planning on himself. "Finally you admitted it!"

"Hey!"

"No, you've taken over everything. I don't know how you switched the plan of The Savoy hotel to your house in Italy!" She sighed dramatically. "The Gucci room isn't available on our wedding, is it?"

"It is, but figured it would be more private if we got married on our own property, baby." He explained, "everything we have, we share now."

"Okay." She nodded, "I don't know how long I'd be able to take on the break for. I guess we can go somewhere near England?"

"Doesn't matter baby, just tell me two of your dream vacation countries or cities and I'll take you there." He said, "and the owner of your cafe is my school friend, I can talk to him for you."

"What?" She almost chocked on cheese and dough, "he's your friend and you never told me that?"

"Well, I never got the chance to.' he shrugged sheepishly, "but I can still talk to him."

"I don't know, I love my job." She pouted. "I don't want him to fire me."

"He won't baby." Harry assured her, "now come on give me two names."

"We can either go to Puerto Rico or Greece?"

"Those are amazing options!" He never thought of those places, "and I've never been to countries. How about we go to both? We can spend a month in Puerto Rico and a month in Greece."

"That's a lot."

"No it's not." He countered, "I've been touring for two and half years, I deserve a long, long honeymoon and vacation with my wife by my side."

"What about our new house? We haven't even started looking for one." She reminded him.

Look, YN can either afford to pay at least some amount for the house or spend it all on their honeymoon plans. No way in heavens Harry's gonna make the trip cheap. He'll find his way to make it extravagant. She'd feel too bad if he's the only one paying for everything.

"We'll start looking for one as soon as we get back." He assured her, "and we have a lot more work to do, we have a baby to make!"

"Yes we do." She blushed. "But seriously, Harry, I don't think I can afford a trip that long."

"Baby!" He cooed, "it's a wedding present from me to you. And you're refusing for me to get you an actual present. So this is perfect."

"I'd feel too bad." She pouted, "you won't let me get you anything either."

"I'm sure you're not going to sit still until you get me anything, baby, so I'd say it's fair enough." He pointed out, "come on, please? Let me take you somewhere you've always wanted to go!"

"Okay, let's go to Greece but just for two weeks."

"Four?" He negotiated.

"Okay!" She sighed in defeat, there is no point in negotiating with his there. He's going to just tease her further. They sealed their deal with a kiss. "Oh god, why is this so stressful? We have to register for our marriage certificate."

"We'll have my lawyer do that for us, baby, don't worry about it." He assured her.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Anything."

"I, uhhhh, want to take your last name." She shared hesitantly.

"You want to?" He looked rather shocked.

"Mhmm." She nodded, "you don't mind that right, you seem shocked?"

"Of course I don't baby. I just did not expect that, yes. But I'm happy either way." He shrugged. "You really want to do that?"

"Mhmm." She nodded snuggling closer to him.

They talked more about their wedding planning, and preparations until one of them was fast asleep. Well, it was YN fell asleep first.

......................................................................

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